#you can see on the right the original dress ideas i did back in oct i scrapped

[aurriearts]

hypothetical argos osariya style met gala look HEAVILY inspired by various sri lankan cultural dress (mostly kandyan, since it's the most iconic) + mixed and matched some of the gendered stuff! :3

[nalledimessi]

Chapter Ten: Family

Hello there friends and new followers, well its already Oct 9 and I know some of you have been waiting a lot for them, thank you for the new followers, the reblogs and the love you give to this story and to me. Sorry that I’m been missing, but if you have any prompt that you want me to write please don’t hesitated to send it to me! I would be more than happy to write something for you.

Please don’t forget to love, comment and reblog, so someone else would be able to read it! Thanks to you this story was possible.

· Warnings: Mentions of sex, small smut +18, sadness and flashback.

· Tag´s list: @valsworldofcreativity @avala-moon @r13mar @drwho-ess @mizelophsun11 @helenasingers @janonymus0 @jayyeahthatsme @jumpingmanatee

If you haven’t read the previous chapters click below!

< Chapter nine: Revelations.

“This is the most terrible idea you have ever had” Dean expresses as he follows you to the garage.

“Look who’s talking!” you exclaim, turning to face him. “The one who lost the ultrasound in a vampire fight, fully knowing that the father of my child is none other than an original vampire!” you shout angrily at him.

“And I told you I am sorry” he shouts back, keeping a few steps between you two. He passes his hand over his face, something he does always whenever he’s anxious or annoyed. “At least let me go with you” he proposes after a deep sigh.

“Are you going to behave?” you ask him, knowing you will probably regret it later.

After a moment, he nods. “I will“

Then you’re driving but I’m picking the music” you demand, walking to open the passenger seat and get inside.

He sighs. This is going to be a long day he thinks to himself, entering the car and starting the engine, headed downtown.

“Where do you think you’re going?” you question him just before he can completely get out of the car.

He stops to look in your way. “I’m going with you” he states, as it was the most obvious thing in this world.

“I agreed you could accompany me but I never said you could follow me inside” you point out, opening the passenger door.

“Are you serious?” he frowns at you. “[Y/N], you’re meeting an original!”

“I get you’re the annoying brother then” Kol exclaims, leaning over the window of the driver’s seat.

“What the hell?!” Dean shouts, moving as best as he can away from the glass behind which the vampire is now waving at you.

“Hello sweetheart” he smirks through the window a second before appearing next to you, “and hello to you too, little one.” He moves his hand to your belly but stops just before touching it. He lifts his gaze towards you. “Can I?” he gently requests.

“Sure” you confirm, nodding at him.

He smiles when the baby kicks his hand the moment he places it on your belly-bump. “You know,” he lifts his gaze to you and then drops it again to your belly as he feels it again, “you kick as Thor himself had raised his hammer and summoned thunder and lightning.” He smiles at the memory of her mother talking about when Elijah was in her womb. “Just like your father” he proclaims, straightening himself up. “The baby’s the reason you left.”

You caress your belly, avoiding his sight. “I did what I thought was right.”

“You don’t owe me an explanation” he says seriously looking down. “Let’s go inside, no one will interrupt us there”

“You compelled them” you state, getting outside of the car and walking with him to the entrance.

He nods. “I couldn’t risk you been hurt or in danger” he give you a smile “You’re my family after all, with or without my brother’s baby.”

You hug him at his confession, taking him by surprised, your arms wrapped around his neck. “I wasn’t sure you would believe me.” His hands remain extended to the side for a few seconds before enveloping you with them.

“It’s only thanks to you than I’m here and not in a coffin with a dagger in my chest.” he remind you, taking you back to that moment.

You watch Elijah get up from the bed and start dressing himself. You see the clock change to 4:00am. “Klaus is more paranoid than usual.”

“He believes that Kol is acting behind his back” he confesses to you, completely dressed by now. “He said he wanted to comfort him and you know what that means.”

“Put a dagger in his chest.” you finish for him.

He nods. “And I must stop it. Kol can be unpredictable, unreasonable or, as he likes to call himself, the black sheep, but he is our blood, our brother.” He tries to excuse him for his acts; after all, they all have made mistakes as well. “He may even believe he’s a nuisance for us but he isn’t.”

“I understand him” you tell him. “I’m the black sheep of my family too, in a way” you say earning a questioning look from Elijah.

“How so?” he asks, taking a seat on the bed.

“I didn’t want to continue the family business-” Elijah’s phone interrupts you halfway through. You roll your eyes, knowing well Klaus is the one talking on the other end.

“I must go” Elijah says, standing from the bed. “I’ll return as soon I can.”

“Just keep yourself away from any dagger and coffin.” You pull him by the lapels of his suit. “I want you back with me.”

He smiles and leans to peck your lips. “I give you my word.”

“Good, now go before I answer that phone and piss off Klaus even more” you grin, pushing him softly away. He smiles again before disappearing in the blink of an eye.

You sigh: you had never imagined, when you agreed to distract the noble brother, that you would fall in love with him, least of all that he would feel the same about you; all of this leading to a secretive, and partly forbidden, relationship with him and an unpredictable and surprising friendship with the troublemaker that is Kol Mikaelson.

“This needs to stop now Kol.”

“Why should I do that, Winchester?” he asks cockily with a smirk on his lips.

You debate with yourself for a few more minutes, trying to see all the pros and cons of the situation. You sigh and talk to him, calmly. “Klaus is ready to dagger you and put you in a coffin. Elijah went to put some sense in him” you finally reveal.

The smirk disappears from his mouth to be replace with a wicked expression. “Admit it, Winchester” he says, a hurt expression on his face. “You’re only worried about my brother.”

“And about you” you affirm without hesitation. “I don’t want anyone ending with a dagger in their chest inside a coffin.” You meet his eyes, full of worry. “I don’t want to lose what I have, Kol; my home, my friends, the family that I have created here. You included” you add sternly.

He remains speechless, processing your confession, then stands from the sofa and walks in your direction. “If someone deserves you that is my brother” he confesses to you. “I will figure out something to calm Klaus and then I’ll go away.” He places a tender and sweet kiss on your forehead. “Take care of yourself and my brother.”

“I will” you promise as you watch him leave your house into the night.

“I will hunt those vampires and have a chat with them.” A wicked smile appears on Kol’s lips.

You shake your head, knowing what he’s referring to. “Don’t get yourself in too much troubles.”

He gives you a sincere smile. “You know me sweetheart” he says before climbing in his car and starting the engine. “I don’t behave.”

“Perfect timing, sister” Elijah expresses from the balcony of the Compound.

She follows him with her sigh while he comes down the foyer. “How did you manage to make Rebekah and even Klaus leave?” she asks curious.

“I may or may not have suggested something to Marcel and Camille” he smiles guiltily. Then, his seriousness comes back on his face. “Do you have everything you need?”

She is already supporting herself with her hands on the table, her necklaces swinging in the air as she reads the open grimoire in front of her, with a few bowls with different ingredients spread around the table and a lit candle. “I need a strand of your hair.”

He raises his left hand to the right side of his head, and with the use of two fingers pulls what his sister requests, slightly wincing at the pain.

Under the fixed gaze of Elijah, Freya starts to mix ingredients in the bowl until a pulp is created. She forms a circle on the floor with it, in the center of it draws a plus sign, and at the end of each line a small circle.

“It’s ready” she finally declares, putting the bowl back on the table. “Give me your hand and kneel inside the circle” she requests him, extending her hand so he can take it. “No matter what, stay inside the circle.”

He discards his suit-jacket before taking his sister’s hand and following her orders. As he kneels, he lifts his sight to Freya and whispers: “Do it.”

Freya takes a deep breath before closing her eyes. She starts chanting in Latin and, as the meaning of the words is lost in the constant repetition, a trivial pain tickles Elijah’s chest along with memories of his life with [Y/N], which appear in his and Freya’s mind. The pain keeps increasing, aching not only in his chest but now in his back too.

“Freya” he whines, almost breathless at the suddenly increase in pain, not only on his torax but now on his heart, lifting his free hand above it, feeling like thousands of needles are stabbing his heart.

She can’t stop chanting or the spell would break, but she tightens her grip on his hand to try and give him some semblance of comfort and support.

Both of you fall on the bed, Elijah above you, your clothes already discarded on the creating a path on the floor from the stairs to your bedroom. You moan when he leaves your mouth to cover your neck with kisses.

“My love” he whispers, his husky voice close to your ear. “I need to know-”

“Fuck” you curse, feeling his manhood between your legs; just a thrust and he will be inside you. “Do it” you moan, your helpless tone begging him.

He turns you around, your back press against his chest, his length press in the middle of your legs. He bites his left arm and passes it below your head, leaving the open wound exactly in front of your mouth. In a single motion he thrusts inside you, pressing his fangs on your shoulder and drinking your blood while you drink his, not stopping the thrusts until you both reach the release you desperately need.

When the pain is at its worst, it suddenly stops, leaving a clear image of a baby in front of their eyes.

“It’s yourchild, brother” Freya finally confirms for him, “she is your soulmate. That’s how the spell works: a vampire can only conceive when the spell is made with their soulmate” she explains, anticipating her brother un-asked questions.

Elijah is unable to steady himself anymore. He drops his hands to the floor letting a few tears fall down; he can’t believe it, he failed his soulmate, his child and now he lost them. His scream of pain reaches each corner of the Compound.

“Elijah!” Rebekah shouts concern seeing the state of his older brother. She reaches him to comfort him, while Klaus remains behind, just watching in silence how much his brother is suffering because of him. Trying to ignore his and Elijah’s tears that fall on his cheeks.

“I could-” Rebekah tries to offer her help, something to stop her brother’s pain but he shakes his head.

“No” he responds with a broken voice, tears still falling because of the pain, the enormous sadness and the guilt that comes with not been able to keep his promise to her.

“Someone would please care to explain what’s going on here?” Rebekah demands angrily, focusing her gaze on her older sister.

“[Y/N]” he says as he tries to stand up. His legs fail under him, bringing him to the floor on one knee. “She is-” He stops, taking a deep breath to gain enough strength to continue.

“Oh, bloody hell” Rebekah shouts, already thinking the worst.

“She is pregnant with my child” he reveals to them before falling unconscious due to exhaustion on the floor.

Chapter eleven: Reckless.>

[newagesispage]

OCTOBER                           2021

 THE RIB PAGE

*****

We miss U Charlie Watts!!

*****

The Stones performed at a private party for Patriots owner Robert Kraft of all people. The test run looked like just that. Shark jumped. I am becoming disillusioned.

*****

SNL is back with Owen Wilson as first host of season 47. Kacey Musgraves is the musical guest. Episode 2 will have a ridic choice for host. Halsey will sing. I suppose $ is power with the Kardashians. I could think of about 10 million other people to host but more and more Lorne goes for the shiny object , what he THINKS people want instead of taking risk. Beck Bennett is out.

*****

Is everybody watching the Amber Ruffin Show?? I loved her before but now… I learn so much from her show. Sometimes it takes a comic to get to the real serious shit. For example: Have you heard of drowning towns? Towns like Oscarville, Kowaliga, York hill, Seneca Village, Prentiss and countless other black towns that were drowned out to make lakes for the local whites. Central Park was also made after a black community was erased from history. Development displacement? Alleyway dwelling authority? Even those rabid for history can find out new things everyday. Thanks Amber!!

*****

Bob Woodward and Robert Costa are finally giving us Peril !!!!!!  I’ve been waiting!!** I was in political nerd heaven on Sept. 24 when Yamiche hosted Robert, Bob and Weijia Jang on Washington Week. All of my favorite pundits all together at one table, my dream team!!

*****

Iman looked great at the Met Gala!! Other great looks belonged to AOC, Tessa Thompson, Maluma, Helen Lasichanb and Pharrell Williams. Gigi Hadid, Kiki Layne, Ashton Sanders, Hailee Steinfeld, Kehlani, Zoe Kravitz, Michaela Cole, Lili Reinhart, Kate Hudson and Shai Gilgeous- Alexander were great. Whoopi Goldberg seemed a bit off.

*****

Jason Isbell is back with his latest offering, Georgia Blue.

*****

I see a lot of Title Max type establishment are closing down. Are they a thing of the past? Let’s hope.

*****

Law and Order is coming back to NBC for season 21. Dick Wolf will own 2 entire nights of television. Some of the old cast is reported to be returning.

*****

Britney Spears Father was suspended as her conservator.

*****

Timothy Chalamet, Rowan Atkinson, Sally Hawkins and Olivia Coleman will star in Wonka.

*****

The 2022 Super Bowl halftime show will bring us Snoop Dogg, Eminem, Mary J. Blige, Dr. Dre and Kendrick Lamar.

*****

People are doing test runs for school board positions to see if their political ideas will play well for the big leagues. If they don’t seem to work, at least they can sometimes change the rules in their own area.

*****

Joe Rogan got Covid.

*****

Lake Michigan beaches were closed down thanks to a US Steel plant chemical leak.

*****

Is this country the master of endless administrative work?  None of us should have been surprised at the red tape that the slowed down the end of the war in Afghanistan.** Uber donated 50k for rides and meals to the Afghans when they arrive.**And why do so many waste taxpayer $ on useless recounts and recalls when people need real help with food and healthcare? They must really hate humanity.

*****

R. Kelly was found guilty of 8 counts of sex trafficking and 1 count of racketeering.

*****

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. – Dwight D. Eisenhower

*****

Texas has put a law into effect to allow most Texans to carry open without permit or training.

*****

Texas has banned abortion at about 6 weeks. Uber and Lyft will pay drivers legal fees if sued under Texas abortion law. Lyft donated $1mil to Planned Parenthood. ** Look for the ruling in the Mississippi law over Roe V. Wade in June 2022.**Hear us roar!** BTW.. Go Jen Psaki!!!!!!!

*****

They seriously banned plastic straws and abortion before assault rifles? – Eden Dranger

*****

Please stop banning abortions, the last thing the world needs is more Americans. –Sarah Beattie

*****

Women don’t inseminate themselves. Vasectomies are reversible. Should every man have one until he’s deemed financially and emotionally fit to be a Father? – Bradley Whitford

*****

90 year old William Shatner will go to space for Blue Origin.

*****

The Q Anon Shaman pled guilty to a felony for obstructing the Electoral College proceedings. I say 20 years and a $250K fine.** 600 others have been indicted.

*****

Days Alert: The Beyond Salem thing was ridic but it was so great to see some old characters.  Days is so great at visiting old family. Who can resist Shane, Austin and Carrie, Billie and the old Kristen? I do wish that Peacock would get their kinks out!! Back to the real Days: Are we smelling an Emmy for Susan Seaforth Hayes and Bill?? ** Good to have Abigail back. It is always fun to wonder which actress and or personality it will be. ** Deidre Hall got her star on the walk of fame.**And just in time for Halloween, the Devil is making a comeback. The end of the year in Salem is always the best!! It is so brave to give the 96 year old man the old switcheroo into the Dark Lord.  It was fun to see the grandkids discover Grandma Marlena’s story. Delicious!! Hail Satan!!** It is past time for Tate and Teresa to come back to town. Brady needs to be put in his place. And thanks for the Philip and Chloe flashbacks!!

*****

The breakdown of the vaccinated: 90% of Atheists, 86% Hispanic Catholic, 84% Agnostic, 79% White Catholic, 73% White mainline protestant, 70% Black mainline protestant, 57% white evangelical. 1 in 500 Americans have died of Covid.

*****

So Mike Lindell and Jim Baker have teamed up to sell children’s Bible pillows.** Piers Morgan has returned to the Murdoch organization by joining Fox. That sounds about right.

*****

Please stop saying the vaccine does not have severe side effects, I took my shots and now I’m alive and have to keep working. –Mohand Eishieky

*****

In theatres Oct. 22: The French Dispatch.** October also brings us a new season of Curb your enthusiasm and Oct. 17 will catch us up on Succession. Whew!!!

*****

So people under conservatorship are not free to marry who they want? What?

*****

46% of Americans believe in ghosts.

*****

Simone Biles, Mckayla Maroney and Aly Rasiman testified at  the Senate judiciary hearing about the FBI’s handling of accusations against Larry Nassar and it was eye opening!

*****

We wanted a no -nonsense Dem who pushes on and does not puss out.  I am a bit surprised to see we have it. There are so many pressing issues that I hope Biden works a bit more on Haiti though.

*****

The National Police Act was passed to celebrate cops. Still no police reform.

*****

John Mulaney and Olivia Munn are going to have a baby.

*****

The Emmy’s were a little different this year with more of a Golden Globe look.  Cedric the Entertainer hosted with Reggie Watts as DJ. Lots of minority noms but barely a win. It was a white people night. Ted Lasso had a great night. Mare of Eastown took home a few with Evan Peters, Julianne Nicholson and Kate Winslet. Now, Kate is great but how did Anya Taylor- Joy not walk away with that? Queens Gambit did win a couple and gave the longest speech with the seemingly arrogant director Scott Frank who opened up 2 page acceptance. Categories were tough but I was routing for Renee Elise Goldberry and Bowen Yang but perhaps next year. The people in England who had their own party for all the statues that the Crown won seemed to be having more fun! Hacks won for writing and directing and Jean Smart!! It was nice to see the Norm Macdonald love which was barely mentioned by Lorne but celebrated by John Oliver. Colbert ‘s election night special won as did JB Smoove. Hamilton won and Debbie Allen got the big one. I do not understand why real singers and or musicians have to be there for the in Memoriam. It takes me out of it a bit and concentrates the focus on them. Do they think that people will pay attention more? Do they want to keep the home audience or live audience from the bathroom?  My best dressed were Anya Taylor-Joy, Michaela Cole who won for I may destroy you, Jean Smart, Josh O’Connor, Kathryn Hahn, Billy Porter, MJ Rodriguez, Keenan Thonpson, Leslie Odom Jr., Catherine O’Hara, Trevor Noah, Eugene Levy, Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys, Bowen Yang,  Anthony Anderson, Leslie Grossman, Amber Ruffin, Allyson Felix, Renee Elise Goldberry, Samira Wiley and Rege- Jean Page. My worst were Sarah Paulson, Gillian Anderson,  Beanie Feldstein, Elizabeth Olsen and Aidy Bryant. To me the best part of the show was the enthusiasm of Conan and the way he injected himself into much of the evening .He was the show.  Go Conan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*****

Next year there must be some Emmys for Sarah Paulson and Cobie Smulders in Impeachment!!!!!

*****

Oh Boy!! The Eyes of Tammy Faye!!

*****

Looking forward to the Electric Life of Louis Wain with Benedict Cumberbatch and Claire Foy.

*****

Abba has a new album!!

*****

Shang Chi is the biggest Labor Day opening with a $71.4 mil opening.

*****

Sen. Amy Klobuchar has announced she has breast cancer.

*****

Is it the 70’s? A streaker ran past the studio of the Today show.

*****

Rascal Flatts Joe Don Rooney was arrested for DUI.** Nicholas Cage was thrown out of a prime rib pace in Vegas after being drunk and disorderly.

*****

Jennifer Eckhart has filed a lawsuit against former Fox news anchor Ed Henry for rape and retaliation after allegedly being handcuffed and beaten.

*****

Scarlett Johansson has settled her Disney lawsuit.

*****

Pete Buttigieg and Chasten had twins they named Penelope Rose and Joseph August.

*****

I noticed a commercial for Dancing with the Stars. Are we onto the E list because I have heard of hardly any of these people. ‘Stars’is really stretching it. And as I post this I see there are some covid issues there as well.

*****

Virgin River was renewed for 2 more seasons.

*****

Trevor Noah is right? Why do they stop giving lollipops to adults at the doctor?

*****

Jon Stewart is back on Apple tv with ‘The problem with Jon Stewart.

*****

Brooklyn 99 had about the best finale (other than Newhart) that I can recall. I had my fingers crossed that Chelsea would be back. Will they honor us like they did in the show and come back for a special about once a year? That would be fucking awesome!!

*****

Don’t expect compliments from an insecure person.- Mr. Pickles

*****

Thousands and thousands of people are in need. Haitian refugees and other immigrants have seen nothing like this what with assassination, a hurricane and earthquake. The Southern border is a mess.** Why does Fox news keep telling refugees the border is open as they sit back and laugh at Biden’s predicament.  Spreading false info to intentionally hurt poor, distressed people has no end for them.

*****

Do companies know how fucked up their employment websites are? It is true that some people do not want to work. It is true that people schedule interviews and don’t show up. It is also true that companies have made it so hard to apply that many can’t. I suppose it is easier for them but the poor who may really want to work have a hard time. Paper applications are almost completely gone. The old fashioned way of walking into low paying job sites and finding a connection with a manager rarely exist. Some places only accept texts or have long ridiculous psych tests that a working Mother may not have time for. A Father working many hours already, may not be able to go to the library to get online if they cannot afford a computer. Many websites tell you that there no positions available in your area while there is a huge sign in front of the establishment. Can’t find people to work.. Gee I wonder why?? And treat people with respect once you find them, how about that?

*****

Keep your head up in failure, and your head down in success. –Jerry Seinfeld

*****

Hey.. There was a van air B’n B biz going that got busted. Hey.. The poor need vaca’s too. It is wrong but If they are willing to sleep in a van, why not. I truly think that many do not understand how much people are struggling.

*****

Free coffee day came and went but only a few places really gave you free coffee without rules to govern the promo. Some places wanted to sell you something else and some made you belong to their club. Starbucks held that customers had to come inside for the free cup of Joe, handicapped or not.

*****

One would think the Republicans would run out of $ for recounts but they have deep pockets. Just think how much good they could do for the huddled masses with that scratch.

*****

Sad to lose Mick Brigden, protégé of Bill Graham who managed The Stones and worked with Frampton, Dylan and Santana.** And the comics were very vocal about the loss of Norm Macdonald. He was one of a kind and he will be missed!

*****

R.I.P. Ruth Marx, Lee Scratch Perry, Willard Scott, Jean-Paul Belmondo, Isadore Bleckman, George Wein, Michael K. William,George Holliday, Anthony Johnson,  Basil Hoffman, Al Harrington,Willie Garson, Mick Brigden, Tommy Kirk and Norm Macdonald.

[artificialqueens]

Prepared (Trixya) - DenDenMonMon

Of Lovers, Friends and Everything in Between. Part 2.- Elevator Sex.

Title: Prepared Category: M/M Summary: He’s always so prepared - I’m always a complete mess. Notes: This is a format I used a lot in my previous fandom. It wasn’t originally mine, but I did kinda make it my thing. Let me know how you feel about it, and, if by some weird twist of fate and destiny you come from the Saula fandom and are familiar with my work, welcome back! -Monkey. Written: Oct 21st, 2019

Prepared

He’s on the phone.

Always on that damn phone.

We walk out of the dressing room.

Bags filled with drag hanging from our shoulders.

His is smaller than mine.

As usual, I was almost late this morning.

I threw in there everything I could possibly need.

He knew exactly what he wanted to wear.

He’s always so prepared.

I’m always a complete mess.

The lipstick stained mouth opens suddenly.

His high pitch laughter fills the hallway.

The air around us.

Something in the immensity of the internet has reached his eyeballs.

He doesn’t offer the content to mine.

I’m left stupidly smiling at nothing.

Looking at him.

I get carried away by his light mood.

It feels good.

It makes me happy.

My hand grabs his arm.

Pulls him.

He misses the potted plant.

I should have let him crash.

Stumble with the decoration of the room.

Have his attention on me.

Not the stupid phone.

He does look up.

Thanks me.

Smiles at me.

Something inside me comes on fire.

As it happens whenever he shows the slightest affection.

As it happens whenever I’m around him.

As it happens whenever I think of him.

His index finger presses the up arrow.

The elevator knows we need to go up.

Out of this basement.

Into the empty lobby.

We are the last ones recording.

We always are.

We simply can’t shut up.

We go on and on and on and on.

The actual topic is usually left behind.

The crew around us disappears.

It’s just the two of us.

Talking.

Making each other laugh.

Sharing stories with made up details.

Listening to stories that we already know by heart.

The door opens with a ding.

I walk in first.

He follows a moment later.

His head hangs low.

His hands hold the phone.

His fingers tap on the fluorescent screen.

Tap.

Tap.

Tap.

He’s always on that damn phone.

I want to regain his attention.

I need to regain his attention.

My fingers wrap around his bicep.

The toned muscles contract under his shirt.

My whole body is pressed against his side.

Personal space doesn’t exist with us.

My face moves close to his ear.

“I want to jerk you off.”

I mean it.

I’ve always meant it.

Even when he laughs it off.

Even when I laugh right along with him.

I’ve always meant it.

“I want to jerk you off so bad.”

His eyes grow wide.

And the screaming doesn’t come.

And the wheezing doesn’t come.

Because it is not a joke.

It’s a plea.

It’s a promise.

The phone is finally forgotten.

Pushed inside the backpack.

Lost between synthetic hair and bottles of glitter.

“Okay.”

The word comes out drily.

In a single exhale.

Matter-of-factly.

He drops his stuff on the elevator floor.

“What? Now?”

I’m confused.

I’m excited.

I’m turned on.

“Right now.”

His fingers push the emergency stop button.

An alarm goes off.

It’s loud.

It’s annoying.

He pushes the button again.

And again.

He tries to make it stop.

Nothing changes.

We laugh.

Hysterical laughter pushes the sexy fog aside.

Want and desire make room for humor to take over.

A voice comes from somewhere in the dashboard.

We jump.

We go quiet.

We try to go quiet.

“Are you okay?”

He moves closer to the buttons.

There’s no visible mic to speak to.

“Yeah.”

His voice is even.

“I pressed the button by mistake.”

He doesn’t stutter.

He is always so sure of himself.

His mind is always ready to come up with an answer.

He is always so prepared.

I’m always a complete mess.

His hand presses against my mouth.

Trying to stop the loud laughter.

It’s pointless.

There’s a grunt.

An exasperated surrender.

The man speaks again.

“Okay. I can’t reactivate it from here.”

I look at him with fear.

He looks at me with mischiefness.

The voice sounds again.

“Can you wait until a technician comes?”

“How long would that be?”

The hopefulness is clear in his voice.

That’s the tone of a psycho.

Happy to be stuck in an elevator.

“Uh, it could be a good thirty minutes.”

“Yeah, we’ll be fine.”

He turns to me completely.

There’s a glint in his eyes.

There’s a smirk on his lips.

There’s an idea in his mind.

His hands land low on my hips.

“So, you were saying?”

His hot breath hits my nose.

He stands taller than me.

Towers over me.

I’m visibly shaking.

“They probably have cameras.”

He shrugs a shoulder.

“I don’t care.”

“They are going to see us, record us.”

“They can sell it to TMZ for all I care.”

His mouth connects with mine.

And, suddenly, I don’t care either.

I mean, I do.

I care.

He cares.

He will probably regret this as soon as we are done.

But his lips are so soft.

His hands are so warm.

I can’t think straight.

I want him.

I have always wanted him.

We can worry about the after…

After.

His hips press hard against mine.

He wants this, too.

His body is telling me as much.

My fingers open his fly.

The belt is a struggle.

The button is easy.

The zipper goes down almost by itself.

And I have him in my hand.

Finally.

He is big.

And wet.

His lips are still on mine.

He opens his mouth to my touch.

I feel proud of myself.

My fist closes around him.

And I start pumping him.

Hot puffs of air hit my cheek.

Whimpering sounds fill my ears.

I can feel myself growing harder inside my jeans.

It hurts.

He practically reads my mind.

He reaches down and frees me.

All I can feel is his touch on me.

His fingers wrapping around me.

His palm caressing me.

The small space seems to close in around us.

Moaning and grunting replace the elevator music.

I feel sweat pooling at my brows.

It runs down my temple.

Reaches my cheek.

He licks the salty droplets.

His tongue follows the trail.

His mouth finds mine.

The taste of my sweat mixes with old Redbull.

And something that is so peculiarly him.

Then I feel it.

His veins bulge under the thin skin.

The blood pressure of his dick is probably through the roof.

My name leaves his lips.

Like a mantra.

Like a chant.

Like a prayer.

The signs of his orgasm reaching him are all there.

I can feel him pulling me right along with him.

And we are doing it.

We are cumming.

Together.

My fingers are sticky with his climax.

I pump him a couple more times.

Squeezing harder than necessary.

My tongue trails my own hand.

He watches me through hooded eyes.

Shivers with new found desire.

“Don’t get me started, bitch.”

We laugh.

It’s ridiculous.

It’s insane.

It’s perfect.

Two zippers go up.

Two flies are successfully closed.

We slide down the wall.

Sit on the floor.

And we kiss.

Kiss.

Kiss.

Kiss.

Our mouths lazily wrap around each other for hours.

Maybe minutes.

Maybe seconds.

Then the dinging comes.

The elevator starts moving.

The door opens.

My legs won’t respond.

They are orgasmed rubber.

He easily stands up.

Greets the technician.

Thanks him.

Starts small talk.

I can’t find my voice.

He’s always so prepared.

And I’m always a complete mess.

Tags - rpdr fanfiction, trixya, trixie mattel, katya zomolodchikova, smut, of lovers, dendenmonmon, show blog

[81scorp]

From the diary of Angela Baker

(Originally posted on Deviantart Oct 30, 2017)

Warning: This fanfic contains SPOILERS for the 1983 horrorfilm Sleepaway Camp directed by Robert Hiltzik.

---------------------------------------- Dear Diary My name is Angela Baker and I... have lived an interesting life. When I was little my dad and brother Peter died in a motorboat accident. It scarred me mentally and the next eight years was a very hard time in my life. I was adopted not long after the accident and lived with my aunt, Dr. Martha Thomas, and my cousin Ricky. My aunt is actually very nice and positive... a little TOO positive. She`s kinda like Snow white... if Snow white was a stepford wife who had taken too much Prozac. My cousin Ricky is OK, he always looks after me. Anyway, after having been raised and homeschooled by my quirky aunt for eight years She thought it was a good idea to send Ricky and me away to summercamp. She thought it might help me come out of my shell since I had been very introverted for all those years. Summercamp was not as bad as I had feared, I met some nice people and started to open up a bit.Then people started to die.At first the deaths seemed to be accidents, but then it became clear that they weren`t. To make a long story short, the killer was caught and I turned out to be a guy.I should probably go back to the beginning and explain a few things.I remember when I first met my aunt Martha she was so optimistic of having a new kid in the house. I don`t remember everything she said, but the gist of it was that she had always wanted a girl. I remember the last thing that she said very clearly though. "Angela... Such a lovely name... Why I believe it means Angel! Why yes I`m sure it does! I know you`re going to like that name. Won`t you Peter?" So... the part where I said that my brother Peter died? Change it to "sister Angela" and you have the correct picture. My aunt liked my sister more, but since she was gone my aunt decided to take advantage of my traumatized psyche and raise me as a girl in her place. And the killer? That was me, I killed all those people. In my defense though, most of those people were mean to me. Anyway, I was sent to an insane asylum... for about a couple of months. One of the doctors declared me sane and let me out. To be honest, I don´t think I was fully cured, but I guess they just needed the extra bed. I wasn`t the only one he let out. There was another guy who was older than me (old enough to be my dad). He and I discussed what we were gonna do now that our old lives had ended and our new lives just begun. To (once again) make a long story short: he is now my new legal guardian. I like him a lot more than my aunt Martha. Sure, she was nice and all but that lady was crazy! This new guy is mental health personified compared to her! He runs a motel and his name is Norman, Norman Bates. I call him "Uncle Norm".He is nice and, like I said earlier, WAY more balanced than aunt Martha but there is one downside to living in the same house as him. His mom. I`ve never met her but I can sometimes hear her voice through the walls. She shouts a lot and says such awful things to Uncle Norm when they`re in the same room. Poor guy, he doesn`t deserve her treatment. Sure, she has her moments when she treats him with kindness, but those moments are few. Maybe I could take care of her like I did to those mean people at summercamp? I could make it look like an accident. But that will have to wait for another day. The doctor that declared me sane helped me get in contact with a guy who can provide me with estrogen. I`m going through puberty and I`ve done this Angela thing for so long that going back to living as a guy again would just feel weird. Another thing I`m not gonna go back to is being homeschooled. That`s right, I`m gonna start going to public school a week from today. If I`m gonna learn to be more social and open up I need to spend time with real people. When it`s gymclass I`ll just do what I did at summercamp: not shower with the other girls, just wait till they`re done. Completly foolproof. Just think about it, my first day at a real high school, one week from today! Eek! I`m so excited!

Peace. Angela

- - - - - - It`s been one week since I started high school today. Forks High School to be precise. Not as great and exciting as I hoped it would be, but, thank god, not as horrible as I had feared.I`ve made some friends. Their names are Jessica Stanley, Tyler Crowley, Mike Newton, Angela Weber and Bella Swan. It was very easy to build a circle of friends. All it took for me was to befriend Jessica and she introduced me to the rest. They`re all fun to hang around with... except Bella. She`s not a mean person or anything but she seems very disinterested in hanging with the group. Then there`s this weird guy who doesn`t come to school every day, only the cloudy days. He has pale skin, a stupid haircut (What`s the deal with his hair? Who would willingly style their hair like that?) and looks, for lack of a better word, almost vampiric. I don`t like the way he looks at me. I heard from Jessica that his name is Edward. Edward Cullen.

- - - - - - I almost died today.I was standing at my school`s parkinglot and some guy who was in a hurry lost control of his car. I was almost crushed between his car and one that was parked behind me. But then that Edward Cullen guy showed up out of nowhere, grabbed me and stopped the car from slamming in to me. At least that what I think happened. Everything happened so fast and when I finally realized that I had been just a second away from death he was gone. All that was left was a big dent in the door of the car and it`s driver wondering if I was OK.If that really was Edward then there`s more to him than meets the eye, and maybe he`s not as bad as I thought he was.

- - - - - - I take back everything nice I`ve ever said about Edward Cullen. It has been one week since he saved me from being crushed by that car and after that he has only gotten more interested in me. He stares at me, follows me around, appears mysteriously out of nowhere one second and disappears without a trace the next. I think he even snuck into my bedroom and watched me when I was asleep. He scares me. I`m afraid that he`ll find out about my secret. Then again, maybe he already knows and has no problems with it. The guy IS supernatural after all, it`s possible that maybe he has supersmell and can smell the small amount of male hormones I have. But that leads me to the other thing about him that scares me: He`s a stalker with superhuman speed and strength, and I`m just an ordinary mortal. If I want to get rid of him he`ll see me coming and stop me before I`ve even been able to scratch his skin. I`m scared. So scared.

I felt I had to tell someone. It may not get rid of Edward but at least I won`t feel alone, so I decided to tell our school`s guidance counselor miss Summers. I don`t know her first name but I`m sure it starts with a B and ends with a Y. It`s either Betty or Buffy. She`s a little younger than most of the teachers at school, probably in her early twenties, and is a real good listener. I told her about Edward but I left out the part about him having superpowers. I described him as "that pale guy with a creepy stare, stupid haircut, really stupid haircut" and I also mentioned "almost vampiric". I`m not sure but I think I noticed something in her eyes when I mentioned that last part. She told me not to worry and that she would keep an eye on him. I hope that`s enough. - - - - - - It has now been two weeks since the last time I wrote and there has been no sign of Edward Cullen in the school or even in the entire town. Whatever it was that miss Summers did it sure was effective. Turns out that thing that happened to me, being saved from a car by Edward only to be spied on by him later, happened to another girl a month before me. The girl in question was one of my classmates, Bella Swan. Now that Edward`s gone Bella`s all torn up about about it, as if she`s "lost the love of her life". Please! First: the guy was a creepy stalker, second: you weren`t the only one he stalked. So basically, he cheated on you. There are better guys out there than him. Unfortunately Bella hasn`t come to that realization yet, she`s been inconsolable since the day it became clear that he wasn`t gonna come back. I wanted to help her and gave her the number to the best therapist I know, the guy who helped me and uncle Norm get out of the insane asylum, Dr Hannibal Lecter. - - - - - - Two weeks have now passed since the last time I wrote. What has happened since then? Oh yeah, about a week ago Bella decided to take my advice and visit Dr Lecter and I haven`t seen her since. Wonder what happened? Oh well. I and the rest of my friends had a halloween party at Jessica`s house yesterday. I came dressed as Cleopatra. We did the mash. We did the monster mash. The monster mash. It was a graveyard smash.

Fun times were had. I have really grown as person these last months. I have come a long way from the shy, introverted non-girl that was too afraid to reach out and make new friends. I just hope they never find out my secret. If they do... Oh well, guess I`ll just have to make it look like an accident. Gotta go now, uncle Norm is shouting that the dinner is ready. We`re having pancakes. (Yay!)

Peace.

Angela

[alecthemovieguy]

Being Nicole

‘Supergirl’ star Nicole Maines’ passion for transgender rights makes her super in real life, too

Transgender activist and actor Nicole Maines knew she was a girl around the age of 3 or 4. 

“My case is kind of unique because I have a twin brother (Jonas),” she told Ellen Degeneres during an appearance on “Ellen” in 2018. “So, growing up with him, he was identifying with all these male things and feeling very comfortable in his body, and I wasn’t.” 

Maines, the subject of the Mount Washington Valley’s One Book One Valley community read “Becoming Nicole,” slowing began publicly transitioning in the first grade, and officially presented herself as female in the fifth grade, when she changed her name from Wyatt to Nicole. 

Maines, who is turning 22 on Oct. 7, became the center of the precedent-setting Maine Supreme Judicial Court case Doe v. Regional School Unit 26 regarding gender identity and bathroom use in schools. Maines had been barred from using the female bathroom after a complaint, but the court ruled that denying a transgender student access to the bathroom consistent with their gender identity is unlawful. 

In 2018, Maines debuted as Nia Nal/Dreamer, television’s first transgender superhero, on “Supergirl.” She is returning as a series regular for season five which premieres Sunday, Oct. 6, at 9 p.m. on The CW. 

One Book One Valley has a series of events throughout October culminating in an evening with “Becoming Nicole” author Amy Ellis Nutt on Thursday, Oct. 24, at 7 p.m. at Loynd Auditorium at Kennett High School in North Conway, N.H. In addition to Nutt, the plan is to have the Maines family be part of the discussion through a Skype connection.

I recently talked with Maines about growing up transgender, activism, privilege and the upcoming season of “Supergirl.”

“Becoming Nicole” is beautifully written, but it is very journalistic and academic in its approach. Is there anything you would’ve done differently or included in telling that story?

I don’t know. I think, of course, Amy did a phenomenal job, and I am so happy with how the book came out because I think it really does have something for everyone, whether or not you’re just starting to learn about transitioning and you’re looking for something new. But there was so much that had to be cut out in the final editing process and, unfortunately, a lot of what did get cut out was original writing from Jonas’ perspective. I don’t know if it was something I would’ve done differently, I think it is more of a shame that it couldn’t make it into the final cut. It was just so long before it was cut. So, I do hope at some point people do get to see that because it is really, really beautiful.

In “Becoming Nicole,” a therapist told your parents that you weren’t transgender because you were peeing standing up. What are some other examples you’ve encountered of misinformation about what transgender is?

Where do I even begin? So many people think that it is one of those things that you can kind of slap a label on and say, “This is what this is,” and with something as expansive as gender it is really impossible to paint it as very black and white. So many people have tried to say “Oh, all trans people look like this. This is how you spot a trans person.” And that’s 1) offensive, and 2) not true or realistic. 

I think a lot of that has to do with how historically we are represented in the media: men in dresses and this and that. It is so much more expansive than that. No one group of people looks a certain way, and it is dangerous to try to categorize people like that. So, I think besides the peeing standing up, which is ridiculous, what is equally ridiculous is the idea that some people think that they can spot a trans person, and that’s sort of the whole basis of their argument. 

You know how sometimes you read certain blogs or you read certain Twitter accounts just to make yourself mad? I stumbled across one, it was a really popular TERF account — which stands for trans-exclusionary radical feminists, which is pretty much feminists who believe trans women aren’t women, and they use recycled rhetoric from the ’70s saying that trans women are just men trying to invade women’s spaces and stupid shit like that. It was this person going on and on about, like, “Oh, none of you pass. None of you look like women. Yada yada yada.” And I was like, 1) no room to talk because her haircut was atrocious, and 2) come say it to my face. It really made me mad. It is atrocious that people think they can spot something like that. It is ridiculous. 

It is kind of like the back-handed compliment that I receive a lot, that is “Oh, you don’t look trans,” or “Oh, never really would’ve guessed.” A lot of the time, I try not to jump on people for that because I know it is coming from a place where they’re trying to give me a compliment, but what does trans look like? What did you think I was going to look like? 

And, of course, everyone thinks that we are supposed to look like men in dresses, which —  even if we did — is rude as hell to say something like that because, not only is that stupid, but it is also reinforcing negative beauty standards among women, not just trans women, but women. Because you hear about the bathroom bills and they are like, “Oh, we are going to enforce no trans people in bathrooms.” Well, how are you going to enforce that? And then you get cases of cis women getting kicked out of the bathrooms because they look more masculine than others. Even for cisgender women that is not a black and white line. People look different, and it is totally unfair and unreasonable to say just because someone has harder features than somebody else that this is what is going on in your pants. That feels like a wild, crazy assumption to me. 

So, obviously your father always loved you, but he struggled with your identity. Was there a specific moment when you finally felt truly seen by him?

I know a lot of moments where he really started having light bulb moments. I think for me, one of the first moments where I felt like I started being seen was when I started wearing girl’s clothes to school. My transition started going there slowly, but between second and third grade I had gone from wearing longer hair to wearing girl’s clothes all the time. I don’t know if it was even just my father, but by everyone, but that is when I started feeling like I was being seen. Then in fifth grade was when I had fully transitioned. I was allowed to pierce my ears and I was allowed to wear skirts and dresses. That really felt like I am seen. And then, of course, when my father finally started fighting for me. Because I knew, at that point, he still didn’t fully understand, but when he started defending me and defending my transition and my using the girl’s bathroom, I felt like I had him on my side. 

I love last season of “Supergirl.” One of my favorite moments was when Nia Nal/Dreamer publicly announced herself as both an alien and a transgender woman because it put a positive face on a group who were being demonized in the show. How important do you think it is to give a face to marginalized people?

It is incredibly important. The best way to fight against marginalization and the most effective way that we fight back against people who are trying to erase us is with visibility. When you have an administration who, for incidents in a crazy hypothetical, removed me from the 2020 census, then the best way to combat that is to be more visible than ever. By saying, OK, you’re trying to make people think that we are not valid, you’re trying to make people think we don’t exist and that we are not solid and valid in our identities and our existence. Well, then we are going to show you that we are. We are going to show you: no, you cannot ignore us because we are here and it doesn’t really matter what you believe. It doesn’t really matter if you say, “Well, I don’t really believe in transgender.” Well, it isn’t really something for you to believe in because whether you like it or not, we are here. We exist and that’s not a matter of opinion. You do not get to choose whether or not my identity is valid because I am not doing it for you and we are not going to let you erase that. So, I think visibility is the number one method of defense against erasure. 

Based on the trailer, the new season of “Supergirl” partially deals with the betrayal and anger Lena Luthor feels toward Carol Danvers hiding her identity of Supergirl from her. This seems like an apt metaphor for the similar sense of betrayal, hurt and confusion some people feel when a loved one comes out as trans or gay. Do you think that is intentional?

I don’t know if it was intentional. I think because there are so many different layers with Carol and Lena’s relationship, and especially with the Kryptonian-Luthor relationship. I think it is hard to boil it down to just that, because I get why Lena is upset and I get why those feelings are floating around, but personally, I’m kind of like nobody owes any facet of their identity to anybody but themselves. If they did not feel that they wanted to share a part of their identity with you, you don’t get to be mad about that. That is something that belongs entirely to them and if they did not choose, for whatever reason to disclose that part of themselves, that’s not because you necessarily did anything wrong, that’s because they had a choice and that’s not necessarily on them either. But, like I said, it is different between being trans and being a superhero. It is hard because, at the same time, it is like, “Oh, you were treating me like Lex, and I’m not Lex. You can trust me.” So, there’s a whole bunch of other stuff floating around, but I don’t know if it was a 100 percent intentional, but there are definitely connections. 

That’s the great thing about sci-fi is that it can always be used as a metaphor for exploring social issues. 

Absolutely. 

How will Nia Nal be challenged in the new season?

The theme of this season is communication, and so something Nia is struggling with the first chunk of the season is communicating with how she feels with Brainiac because they’ve been dating and they have been having communication issues. Neither of them are the best at relationships, and so this is kind of a new area for her and she’s trying to work out, “How do I express how I feel without hurting you?” And that’s something she struggles with a lot. It is being open and honest with how she’s feeling and trying not to bottle up what she is feeling for the sake of other people. 

What I also really love about Nia Nal is when she puts herself out there — kind of going off the whole thing of passing — she does pass as both a human and a woman, and so she doesn’t need to put herself out there, but by doing so she empowers others. Do you also try to lead by example in your own life?

Absolutely, I recognize 100 percent as Nia and as Nicole that I have an insane amount of privilege. I’m white and, like you said, I pass and I’m on TV. And I mention that I am on TV because when we look at issues like HB2 and we look at bathroom bills and stuff like that, that is not necessarily going to affect me as someone who passes and as someone who is in Vancouver. I’m working in Vancouver, HB2 will not affect me. I am not there. But I recognize that there are issues that are affecting members of my community who don’t have the same significant platform that I do. And so it is my responsibility as a member of that community, as someone with that platform, to lift them up and to start to shine a light on issues that are affecting members of my community, even if I personally will not feel the impact of that harmful legislation. 

It is important and that’s what we talk about in feminist circles. We are always talking about how can people with privilege use that privilege to lift others up, to better the situation of others who don’t have those some privileges. We ask that of men, we ask that of white people, we ask that of abled-body people, of trans women who pass. We ask that people use their privilege responsibly. And so that is what I try to do and I hope that I am succeeding. I just try to use my platform and use my voice to talk about issues that I feel matter. 

Going back to “Becoming Nicole,” the book discusses “The Little Mermaid” as a metaphor for being transgender because Ariel doesn’t feel she belongs in the ocean and everyone tells her you have to be with your own people blah, blah, blah. Ariel was one of your favorite characters growing up, do you feel even at a young age you were drawn to this character because your struggle paralleled her struggle?

I guess subconsciously, yes, but on a surface level, I liked mermaids. I don’t know why I liked it so much and that’s why I say subconsciously I was drawn to it. I remember loving that more than anything else. I loved everything about her. I remember I was like, “That is what I want for myself.” I was like, “She is so beautiful, and she is so graceful,” which is not a trait that I’ve been able to replicate in my own life. I remember being so drawn to her, and I was like “Mom, Dad, that is what we are going for. That is the look.” Between her and, I’ve said it before, Storm from the X-Men. I remember watching “X-Men: The Animated Series” as as kid and she had that hair and the cape and was like “Oh, that’s drama. I love it.” 

And now you have your own cape. 

Well, metaphorically speaking. I don’t have a superhero cape. I feel a little cheated. 

Well, maybe you can get one. 

No, I have the best supersuit. It is shiny and holographic. It is awesome. 

One part I really liked in “Becoming Nicole,” I think it was before you were going to enter fifth grade, you were asked what kind of story you’d tell and you said it would be this mystery/comedy/fantasy with a sassy character and a sidekick who was even sassier. If you were to write that story now what do you think it would look like?

Oh my God. Well, it would definitely have the sassy character and the sassier sidekick, because I remember growing up I was always the biggest fan of the sassy comic relief characters, which is why I tried to play that role in my own regular life, which took some getting used to. I remember in middle school people didn’t exactly get the whole me trying-to-be-funny and I think it just came across as annoying. If I was going to write that story now, I think it would absolutely be about murder that would be the mystery. The comedy that would manifest itself in probably macabre, offbeat humor about murder. And then the fantasy ... they are all vampires. I’m just describing “Bit.”

I haven’t been able to find anyway to watch “Bit” (which stars Maines as a transgender teen who falls in with four queer feminist vampires, who try to rid Los Angeles' streets of predatory men), but I am very interested in that film. What was it like making that?

It was so amazing and I hope you’ll be able to watch soon. Right now, it is making its festival rounds, and hoping someone will choose to distribute it, and we’re like, “Pay us, please!” It was so incredible. Everyone on set was amazing and our writer/director Brad Michael Elmore is the coolest dude on the planet. I was talking about using our privilege to tell stories that matter and to raise up minority voices, and that’s absolutely what he did in this situation. I know a lot of the festivals we have gone to have been feminist festivals and gay festivals, and we’ve had a significant amount of people kind of be like, “Oh, you were written by a straight cis white guy,” and we’re like,“Yeah, and he’s doing exactly what we want him to be doing, which is using his privilege to create this super awesome movie featuring queer and interracial talent, this intersectional group of feminists.” We had a female DP which how awesome is that? We had this super awesome kaleidoscope of different identities in this film and I feel like some folks are very quick to write it off because it was written by a straight cis white guy. 1) I don’t feel that is fair to Brad, and 2) I don’t think that is fair to the movie. The movie is so cool and the movie deals with such cool issues and it approaches them all in such a fucking awesome way. To write it off because of who our director is feels very shortsighted. 

And obviously you wouldn’t say or do anything that felt disingenuous to your own experience. 

Yes, absolutely. I was like, “Ye of little faith.” 

When you were 13 years old you went to the Maine statehouse and spoke to dozens of representatives to convince them to vote against a bill that would make it legal to discriminate against trans people. Do you have any interest in getting into politics either working for a campaign or as a candidate yourself?

I think I would be willing to support someone else’s campaign. Politics are not for me. I do not have the stomach for that. I do not have the patience for that. I know where my lane is and it is absolutely not going for an elected position. I am more the person who shows up when the politicians are not doing what they are supposed to be doing. That’s when I get involved. 

The big thing I took away from “Becoming Nicole” was that prejudice and hate is something that is taught, because the boy who started harassing you the most was told by his grandfather that you were wrong and that he should go after you. And so I guess the question is, what do you do to undo these wrongheaded lessons that are passed down by parents or grandparents?

I think the first step comes from within. You cannot make anybody do anything. You cannot make somebody unlearn hate and prejudice. That journey has to start with themselves. With my father — and, of course, he was never outwardly hateful or anything, I always knew he loved me — but his journey to acceptance started with him deciding to pick up Jennifer Finney Boylan’s book (about being a transgender woman) and read it. He had to ask himself what he was so afraid of if his son was his daughter. He had to ask himself what about that terrified him so much. And that’s what every person has to do. 

Every person has to be aware of their own prejudices and their own biases. We all have them. We have to be aware of them. We have to actively work to undo them because it is something we are taught, not even just by our parents or caretakers, but through television and society. We are pumped full of biases and prejudices that we are not even aware of, and so we have to pay extra care and extra caution to do undo those. And when we catch ourselves, we have to recognize, “No, that’s not right” and go from there.

It has to be a conscious choice, and so that is hard. It is a hard thing to do. It is a really gross feeling to try to unlearn stuff like that, and so a lot of people won’t do that because a lot of people are more comfortable being like, “No, I don’t get it, that’s gross, I don’t like it and I’m going to hate it.” That is much easier and much more comfortable then asking yourself what you are afraid of. As socially responsible participants in the community, we have a responsibility to ask that question anyway. All of us have to ask that question and not just about trans issues, because if we don’t do that, if we are looking for what is easy and what is comfortable at the expense of other people, then stay inside. 

And I feel like the biggest thing is if you’re afraid of a gay person or trans person or black, Hispanic, whatever social issue, if you actually talk to these people that you are afraid of, that you’d see that they are just human beings.

That is the number one thing. It is so much easier to marginalize a group of people when you are not putting names to faces, when we are not putting faces to groups, when you are dehumanizing them. It is so much easier to sweep their plights under the rug and be like, “Oh, they don’t matter,” because you are not talking to them, you’re not seeing them as people. That’s why I always say, “Come say it to my face.” It is so much harder to be an asshole to someone’s face because you have to look them in the eye and tell them their rights don’t matter.

[ciestessde]

Danny Fenton, Substitute Soul Reaper: Whatever Lies Beyond

A self-explanatory request from an Anon on Tumblr: Danny becomes a substitute soul reaper.

“Dear Daniel,

There is something I need your help to accomplish. Please go through the door you’ll find at the location written below. Make sure you are in your human form.

Thank you for your continued assistance.

- Clockwork

P.S. Make sure you pay Ghost Writer a visit first, or things could get especially confusing. He’ll be expecting you.”

“… Well that’s not a door you see everyday.” Danny had, of course, done as Clockwork asked. (Did he really have a choice?)

Ghost Writer had just done… something? to him – some sort of spell, he thought – and sent him on his way. And this door(?) had appeared right after he arrived at the location – which was so far away, it had come with instructions on which OTHER portals to fly through in order to reach it!

… It looked like an unzipped zipper – or a mouth.

‘*sigh* I could spend all day floating here, or just get this over with.’ Prepared for whatever was beyond the portal – which could be literally anything – Danny flew through.

… He was not prepared to find a man bleeding out inside a cave. More than that, the air there felt… weird. Similar to being in the Ghost Zone, but more… raw? Wild? … Desperate. Sad, even.

The man had auburn hair, was dressed in some kind of robe and fur cape, was holding a katana, and was bleeding from what was definitely a fatal wound to his side. He was still conscious, judging by his wincing and shivering, but his eyes were closed in a grimace. He had a death grip on that katana.

Danny and the man jumped – something just screamed from outside the cave. Which meant the man noticed him.

He raised the katana slightly (he didn’t seem capable of raising it much further) and glared at Danny suspiciously. “Who are you? How’d you get here?” Although Danny understood what he’d said, the man was not speaking English. ‘Oh. So that’s what he did. Thanks, Writer.’ “I’m Danny. I came in through-” He turned to gesture to the portal – and it closed. “… Well, crud.”

There was a moment of silence as the man considered him. He looked scared, but not of Danny. Then, “… How… old are you… ?” “Uh, sixteen. Why?” He winced. “So young… But.” The man looked even more pained than before. He shifted to sit up straighter. “I suppose I don’t have a choice. Listen, boy-” “Danny.” “Danny. Do you want to live?”

“Uuuuh…” Danny broke eye contact nervously. The screams came from outside again; they were closer. He seemed to misunderstand Danny’s hesitation (‘Although, it’s not like he could guess.’), “Well?!” “Yessir!” “Then… come here.”

As Danny walked closer to him, the man, using the last of his strength, lifted his katana in front of him – and pointed it at Danny. It wasn’t exactly threatening, but it still made Danny a little nervous. “I don’t have time to explain completely, but… I can give you half of my power. It will only be temporary, and it might kill you. But right now it’s your only chance of making it out of here.” “Listen, I don’t nee-” “Grab the end of the sword!” “Right!” Danny yelped.

Carefully, Danny grabbed the blade of the katana. “In order to pass my powers on to you, you’ll have to run the zanpakutō through to the center of your being. Place it over your heart.”

‘Clockwork, you better know what you’re doing.’ He did as the man said – and placed the tip of the blade in front of his core.

“You said your name is Danny?” He nodded, “Danny Fenton.” The man locked eyes with him. “Danny Fenton. I am… Ashido Kanō.” And Ashido ran him through.

It took immense self-control for Danny not to turn intangible, at first. Then-

It couldn’t have been more different from the portal incident. Aside from the initial pain, it didn’t hurt at all. There was just a rush of energy, and suddenly he was in his ghost form. Except he… had a sword? And was wearing the same kind of robes as the- as Ashido.

“Wh-?” Ashido looked very confused. “All my power…” Danny blinked at him. His outfit had changed. His robes were completely white now, and there seemed to be less of them. … Had he stolen the guy’s clothes???

“You… aren’t human.” Danny rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh, no. That’s… what I was trying to tell you.” “…” Ashido’s eyes lit up. He thought for a moment. “Danny… *cough*!” “Woah!” Danny rushed forward as Ashido collapsed.

“Not much time…” Ashido looked up and locked eyes with him again. “If you make it out of here… There’s a group of friends. They’re trying to save someone, but… The beings they’re up against… are far more powerful than what you’ll face outside this cave.”

Ashido grabbed his collar. “Please… I know you have no reason to, but… Please… Help them… Like they helped me. So that, maybe…” Ashido’s eyes lost their focus, and his grip loosened. “I’ll have repaid them… in some way…” Ashido collapsed after that.

‘… He’s… dead…’

Carefully, his hands shaking, Danny lowered Ashido’s body. The screams were right outside the cave entrance now.

“Jeez… You didn’t need to ask. Of course I’ll help them.” His voice shook – he was crying. “That’s the whole reason I’m here!”

Turning to the world outside the cave, Danny prepared himself for whatever was beyond it – which could be literally anything-

-and flew through.

~~~~~

Chapter 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EVENT ANNOUNCEMENT!

“Halloween SOSW”

Halloween is approaching, and I want to do something special. So I’m trying out what I’m calling “Special One-Shot Wednesdays” or SOSWs (pun very intended). If you have any ideas you want to see me write for the Spoopy Season that you don’t think will make it into a normal OSW, or any ideas you don’t think will make it into the OSWs at all, send them in for an SOSW.

I will include as many ideas as I can. NO LIMITS. GO WILD. Make my life a living hell. Give me your most obscure, forgotten, no-content fandom; your “no one will ever vote for this” request! GIVE ME ALL THE SPOOPIES! And it will be my personal challenge to write something even remotely coherent that honors each and every request.

Will I succeed? We’ll see. Will I get any SOSW requests at all? GOD I HOPE SO.

You can send the SOSW requests through the normal channels (make sure to say it’s for the SOSW), OR I have a spot on the current poll you can type it into. Either works.

Ok, back to the normal AN!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you liked this, please REBLOG!

AO3 version

OSWs Master List

{This is part of my “OneShot Wednesday” project - I’m trying to write a one-shot every week that other people have requested! Original Requests one week, and Fanfic Requests the next.

You can vote for the next OSW here until Oct. 9th, or find the current poll on my Tumblr, Twitter, or Website!

While I will try to keep track of all the requests I receive regardless of how they’re sent, you should send Fanfic Requests through the pinned tweet on my Twitter, and Original Requests through either my email (CiestessDE@gmail.com) or my Patreon (if you’re a patron) if you want to make sure I see them.

Just about everything goes – I’ll tell you if there’s a problem. But if you want to know more about how they work, you can read about Original OSWs here, and Fanfic OSWs here.

So please send me ALL the ideas!!! I will make sure to recognize whoever’s idea/request it was in the work – just ask if you want to remain anonymous.}

[aurora-borealis-love]

The Consular General’s wife

The following story is based on fact and centres around the Jews of Karachi, a once thriving community. To make it very clear, on one was ever forced to leave Pakistan, including the Jews that once lived there. They, and many others, including Christians, Hindus, Parsees, even

Muslims have left of their own free will, for whatever reason. Humans have been on the move since the dawn of time. The story is not my own. All credit goes to a blog “Point of no return”. I have recreated the story in my own words...names are made up.

Hannah made the driver cover the number plates of the Mercedes, even made him remove the Flag from the bonnet. She got in front and gave him the address. Jamila Street, in the Ranchore Lines area.

Her husband David was posted to Karachi a few months ago as the Australian Consular General. Hanna and their children arrived a few weeks later. They had been to several countries, including some in South America. Karachi was different though. It reminded her of Bombay, where she and her family once lived. Crowded, bustling, hot and humid. But she loved it. She loved the food, the

people and the culture. The first thing she did on arriving at any new country was to look up the Jewish population; being Jewish herself. After a short search with help through a high ranking local official, she found to her amazement, that there was indeed a small but thriving Jewish community with a decent sized Synagogue in the commercial hub of the city.

As they drove from Clifton to Saddar, they eventually got onto Bunder Road (M.A.Jinnah Road), and took a turn off this busy street. The street they were on now was narrow, but crowded with people, cars, rickshaws, motorcycles. The Synagogue was not hard to find. A large stone and brick building soon appeared on their right. Above the steel gate, and on the building itself was a sign ‘Magain Shalome Synagogue’. They pulled up to the side of the street and parked. Hannah got out, walked to the gate and was stopped by the chowkidar or watchman.

“Who is it you wish to see?” he asked, in Urdu.

Hannah had picked up a bit of Hindi after spending a few years in Bombay.

“Rabbi sahib say milna chatha hoo.” (I would like to meet the Rabbi)

He replied that this was Saturday and to come back in one hour. She waited in the car, and soon observed a number of people entering the premises. Men, women and children, families, all dressed for Shabbat, in their finest. They all appeared to be East Indian, but some of their

features were a little different.

The gates were fully open now and she decided to walk in. The main door of the synagogue was made up of solid oak. She entered and was greeted by a high ceilinged , cathedral-like room. Large and spacious, wooden benches flanked each side of a narrow aisle. Women on the left, men on the right. Men wore kippahs, women wore shawls around their head.

An elderly, bearded man stood to the side of the entrance on the inside, greeting everyone. He looked surprised when he saw Hannah. Smiling, he introduced himself.

“Hello and Shalom. I am Rabbi Simone Isaac. And you are...?”

Hannah smiled back. “I am Hannah.” She had covered her head with a silk scarf.

After guiding her to a seat. The Rabbi went to the back of the building. Large chandeliers hung down brightening up the space. The Ark lay on a raised wooden pedestal in the middle of the wooden prayer platform. Torah scrolls were stored here. The Rabbi climbed the two stairs, removed one of the large scrolls, holding it high above his head with both hands. He walked around the prayer platform, reciting prayers in Hebrew. After the service ended, Hannah managed to meet the Rabbi again.

She learned a lot after their hour long conversation. Most of the Jews here were from the Bene Israeli community, that originated on the South West coast of India, just South of Bombay. Some were Baghdadi Jews and a few had Afghani connections. Most of them spoke Marathi, Urdu and of course English. Many had left in 1948 one year after the Partition of India and the birth of a new

Nation; Israel. By the mid 1960’s the population had further dwindled. Most left for the U.K., Israel and even India. This was now 1972, India and Pakistan had just gotten over a major war. The border was closed between the two countries.

Hannah was seen regularly at the Synagogue; attending Shabbat prayers, weddings and social events. She had even attended two funerals, where the dead were laid to rest at the Jewish cemetery not too far from the Synagogue. She got to know most of the families, made close friends with some of the women, hosting many parties and get-togethers at her home. Her own

children also attended prayers at the Synagogue every Saturday. She would supply the community with Kosher wine, grape juice, etc., even medical supplies.

As she grew closer to the community, and came to know several of them wanted to make the ‘Aliyah’ to Israel, especially the younger generation, she devised a plan: Travel to Israel for Pakistanis was not allowed (passports were stamped as such). But many had immigrated to

Israel via Iran and India. The bizarre idea came into her head one day. She would drive with two or three Jews to Lahore and then drive across the border at Wagh, hiding them in the trunk of the same consular car.

“Are you insane?” her husband asked as she prepared for the trip. “What if you are caught? What if they are caught? Even if you do, what will happen to them in India? They could be arrested there!”

Hannah smiled but said with confidence . “They will not stop a foreign consular car. In India I have made arrangements with the British Embassy in Delhi. They will be given British Passports. The ones who want to immigrate to Israel can do so as well. There is a representative from Tel Aviv who will be in Bombay end of the year. They are inviting Indian Jews to immigrate to Israel.

When the day arrived, Hannah and two young women and one man, got into the Mercedes and bid tearful goodbyes to relatives. The long drive to Lahore took about two days, with stops along the way. Hannah also took the family pet dog along for the trip. The morning before crossing the border, she hid the two young women in the trunk of the car. The rear middle armrest was removed

and plastic pipe fitted to allow cool air from the air conditioner to reach them in the trunk. The young

man was given a consular uniform with a badge and would act as the chauffer.

They drove to the border. It was heavily guarded with signs posted along the fence. Guard dogs began barking at the car. The guards took a walk around and noticed Hannah’s dog in the back seat. They asked her to roll down the window.

“Australian Consulate General, with official business in Delhi.” she told them, holding out her passport. “This is my chauffer and these are his papers”, she added handing them his passport.

After informing her that she would be allowed to cross, they refused to let the chauffer through.

She looked up at the guard, half annoyed.

“I cannot drive! Do you want me to walk to Delhi??”

He appeared confused for a second. After consulting with a senior official, he came back.

“You can both go through, but at your own risk. We cannot be responsible for your safety, or the safety of the driver.” With that he handed back the papers, opened the gate and let them through.

On the other side, she encountered similar problems. “I can’t walk to Delhi!” and an annoyed look finally got her through.

“I have to make this trip two or three times a year. Make a note of my name and my number plate.” she said, as they slowly drove away from the border.

The two young women made it to the U.K. The chauffer had to return with her to Karachi, so as not to raise suspicion. She made several such trips back and forth. Things became more relaxed at the border crossing. The chauffer made it out to Israel after the third border crossing. Hardly any Jews remain in Karachi. Many of them married into other communities, changed their religion or just left for good. Many years later, a journalist interviewed the Karachi Jewish community who had settled

in Israel in a place called Ramleh. They had set up a new Synagogue and named it Megan Shalom after the one in Karachi. When one elderly man was interviewed he had tears in his eyes.

“I miss Karachi. I was born there, I miss the place dearly. What really hurts is that I can never go back for a visit. Never!”

Thanks for reading,

Wayne Croning Oct.24th 2019.

(photo is courtesy of Haroon Haider blog)

[ladystylestores]

Dior Debuts Exhibition and New High-Jewelry Collection in Shanghai – WWD

https://pmcwwd.files.wordpress.com/2020/07/dior-shanghai-21.jpg?w=640&h=415&crop=1

SHANGHAI — It was a rare night at the unveiling of Dior’s “Designer of Dreams” exhibition to see more than 700 guests gathered in one place.

As China has slowly recovered from COVID-19 over the past few months, fashion brands have put on cocktails, intimate dinners and even a concert here or there. But the Dior opening at the Long Museum was the first truly large-scale fashion event of the year here, a full seven months into 2020, and the crowd turned out with gusto.

The exhibition was originally planned for May, but finally made its debut on Friday. Shanghai is the third destination for the retrospective after Paris and London — officially open to the public on July 28 and running until Oct. 4 — allowed by the fact that the city has managed to dodge the second and even third COVID-19 outbreaks that have cropped up in cities like Beijing and Hong Kong.

All in all, it has been a very busy week for the French house. The day before the exhibition opened, the brand showed digitally its cruise collection inspired by Puglia and right after the opening, it had planned its largest showing of high jewelry for its VIP clients, also in Shanghai.

Exhibition curator Oriole Cullen, speaking by phone due to ongoing travel bans, laid out just how much of a logistical feat it was to set up while the team was spread across China, Paris, London and Montreal.

“The team at Dior created nearly 80 individual films for colleagues in China to explain how the archives needed to be dressed,” she said. “It was 10-hour Zoom calls every day with China in terms of the install.”

Because the Chinese audience is most familiar with the modern-day Dior, Cullen said it was a purposeful choice to place a piece from Maria Grazia Chiuri at the front to greet visitors along with the facade of 30 Avenue Montaigne. Inside, 275 haute couture dresses are on show, arranged in 14 themes ranging from the New Look, Christian Dior’s life, highlights from the six subsequent designers that have led the house, and conceptual favorites like Versailles, the atelier, gardens and the label’s many moments created with Hollywood stars and royalty.

Dior’s “Designer of Dreams” exhibition in Shanghai.  Matjaz Tancic/WWD

To adapt the exhibition to the market, Cullen said the brand consulted with Hung Huang and tapped into its collaborations with Chinese artists such as Xu Bing, Lin Tianmiao, Gao Weigang, Wang Guangle and Yan Peiming, and editorial photography over the years featuring Dior by Feng Hai, Leslie Zhang and Gangao Lang.

While some artworks like Lin’s “Procedure” installation had been commissioned by Dior for earlier shows, Gao, for instance, had created an installation art piece inspired by the J’adore perfume that involved creating a tiered, gold pyramid-like structure atop which sat a spherical moon, representing the feminine.

Christian Dior’s personal exploration of China was also showcased, manifesting in looks named Pékin, Chinoiseries, Nuit de Chine, Hong Kong and Bleu de Chine. The founder also paid homage to Chinese calligraphy through ideogram-printed dress and his use of jacquard.

On Saturday though, the house changed tack to pamper its high-jewelry VIPs at the Amanyangyun. Over the next three days, ensconced in the neoclassical Chinese resort located on the far outskirts of Shanghai, the brand planned to entertain more than 100 guests with cognac and tea tastings, yoga, Ebru workshops, and origami making.

Come evening, the jewelry would be presented beside the resort’s river in a cocktail presentation format on models in 16 flowy Grecian couture looks designed by Chiuri and followed by a dinner in a long gazebo re-created to resemble a French garden.

Dior presented 16 new couture looks at the presentation.  Matjaz Tancic/WWD

But some VIPs were not waiting for the full effect. By afternoon, pieces from the colorful tie-dye-inspired jewelry collection were already being snapped up and taken out.

“The inspiration was tie-dye fabric, a pattern that has been used quite a bit at Dior by various designers of the house. I thought it was interesting to replicate the effect with jewelry,” explained the house’s longtime jewelry designer Victoire de Castellane, also by phone interview.

“I love working with color, I love imagining movement with color,” continued the designer, who has explored new combinations of stones over two decades in the position — building a vast fan base along the way. Many pieces in this collection focused on one color, offering it in various gradations, including a deep blue ring in white gold that carries a cluster of diamonds, tanzanites and sapphires or a similar one anchored with a prominent emerald with various hues of tsavorite garnets gathered around one side, adding asymmetry — and lightened with a row of diamonds. 

Dior’s high-jewelry collection presentation in Shanghai.  Matjaz Tancic/WWD

“I played with the idea of dye, as if the stones were dye that introduced streaks of color and gradations of color,” she explained. 

“With tie-dye, there is white space — I did this with diamonds, the white part is symbolized with diamonds,” noted de Castellane. 

“I found it quite amusing to do this with jewelry,” she concluded.

The designer agreed that the new jewelry recalled a previous examination of color, the “Gem Dior” collection, which worked bright stones into stark pieces meant to represent pixels. But here, the exploration of color is more gentle.

“It’s a bit softer, with different movement, as if the colors mix and move, whereas the previous one was more mineral and more static,” she noted. 

Conveying this softness were pearls — a key element of the collection.  

“It was the first time I used pearls,” laughed de Castellane. 

“I am fascinated with pearls, in antiquity, they were called the tears of Venus — the symbolism of the idea that Aphrodite, or Venus cried in the sea and the tears became pearls. I find it such a lovely story,” she said. 

Dior’s high-jewelry collection presentation in Shanghai.  Matjaz Tancic/WWD

A pair of earrings had a large white pearl — perched on the top of one side, and set on the bottom of the other earring — offsetting a cluster of small diamonds and a large ruby.

“I’m also fascinated by the roundness of pearls, they’re like small, silky spheres, next to the gemstones that are bursting with color,” explained de Castellane.

“I find it very beautiful to set them against one another — the softness and tenderness of the pearls with the forcefulness of stones,” she said.

She also used colored pearls—including pink, golden and pistachio pearls — to bring new forms of color. The golden pearls served as the focal point for a pair of long earrings, with rows of various cuts of diamonds snaking around them, fixed with yellow gold. 

“When it comes to the size of the stones, I always like to maintain a lot of freedom, I enjoy mixing different forms and volumes — this is what makes things more lively, and less static,” said de Castellane. 

“I like the idea of mixing cushion cuts, oval shaped stones, round cuts — there were a lot of small, round stones — bringing them together in a way that creates movement and turns,” she explained.

While pearls normally sit at the center of traditional jewelry, the designer rearranged them, nudging them to one side of a ring, or plopping them on top of a cluster of stones, including a pink sapphire the same size, like the proverbial cherry on a cake — but on an earring.

“In traditional jewelry, the pearl is often at the center of a piece — here, I put it to the side, to show that it is something more than just a classic centerpiece,” noted de Castellane.

As for colored stones, she said she drew on the whole range customarily used by the house, rattling off a few — emeralds, rubies, various-colored sapphires, tanzanites, tsavorite garnets and paraiba tourmalines.

There were no opals, however.

“It’s funny, I didn’t use them this time — I didn’t need them,” she said.

Dior’s high-jewelry collection presentation in Shanghai.  Matjaz Tancic/WWD

Commenting on the abstract nature of the collection, which contrasts with some more figurative ones in the past, inspired by the architecture of Versailles or daisies drawn by Christian Dior, to give just two examples, de Castellane noted she enjoys exploring different styles.

“Some clients like figurative pieces while others like abstract ones,” she noted. “I like a mix. In life you can have different personalities, different desires depending on the moment — I find it’s important,” she said.

“There are some things I might love at a given time, but then I will look for change, and maybe come back again to the things I liked before,” she said.

Making jewelry helps to serve as an antidote to anxious times, suggested the designer.

“It allows people to dream a little,” she said. 

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[baileysayswhat]

I know I kinda did a recap already from Oct ’18-19 – and I was going to write one of my rambling, lovable, GIF-heavy recap posts but I kind of like this bullet points idea.

I looked back through my calendar and feel like 2019 had a lot of wonderful in it. It was a solid year. Here’s a chronological look:

January

Rang in 2019 by watching Millie & Stanley, 2 cantankerous and lovable neighbor pugs. Also got food poisoning.

My first MINt team (Dec ’18-Feb ’19): Abominable SnowMINts

Playing with Pinafore (Nov ’18-Oct ’19) at CSz

Volleyball w Apple buds on team “How I Set Your Mother”

Continuing to teach Level 1 Krav Maga classes at Titan Gym

I go to work on Polar Vortex day! It’s pretty quiet.

February

Promotion to Senior Sales Executive at Grubhub

I’d only been there 10 months!

Flew to Phoenix for family time

Decided to visit the AZ office since my boss was in town too (for actual work)

Then worked in the office for 3 days

Work paid for my flight back

I felt v. v. fancy.

My parents drove 3.5 hours each way for me to see the Grand Canyon. On first sight walking up to the rim I cried. How is anything that vast and majestic? Whew. Full stop.

Sedona was wonderful and kooky and I need to go back.

Visit to best/favorite KBBQ – Cho Sun Ok – in Chicago with Neal AND we went to a concert – Dean Lewis & SYML

  March 

Started Crossfit at Windy City Strength and Conditioning

KBBQ at the same restaurant – Cho Sun Ok – 2 weeks after Neal BUT with Kalin.

I still don’t know how this happened but my stomach ain’t complaining about it.

Started final ID class w UW-Stout.

It will be the hardest class I’ve ever done in my life.

I just don’t know it yet.

Due to this ^^ took sabbatical from teaching Krav at Titan Gym

Flew to Dayton to see Trace/Dinah and Xander/Abs (PLUS YOU, COTY) and I’m so glad I did.

April

Took a Music Improv workshop through MINt with Alex

I sang a song about how I still have a Washington State Driver’s License but mid-song realized it was really was about how I missed home and cried in public, in a workshop. I’M FINE.

Went to a Cubs game IN A BOX for work

Yes, it was v chill and fancy.

Cast on second MINt team: BlooMINt Onion

Alex & Jake from the Little Rock crew came to Chicago

We get Old Fashioneds at the Broken Shaker

This is the best Old Fashioned in the city. I am convinced.

I will not be moved.

Interviewed for dream job while still in school for said job field.

Got dream job.

May

Started dream job

Saw Hamilton w Josh.

We are in the second row.

I immediately want to see it again. I do not.

It closes in 2 weeks (aka Jan 15, 2020) from now LETS GO

Bekah Brown (and Potato and Sully) in town!

We roam and nap and laugh.

Sat in with Oh Cecelia at iO twice

Being asked to sit in is bananas nice and I have done it several times this year with different teams. Thank you everyone for your trust in my make-believe!

Went to PHX for work to train 5/13 class

Do not feel prepared as I JUST started said job.

People are v nice.

I got upgraded to a suite and neither of my 2 bosses did. BIZLIFE.

Abby (L&D Boss) and I do not eat bread bowls from Panera by the hotel pool, WHICH I WAS PROMISED would happen. Still sad.

Officially resigned from Titan Gym/teaching Krav due to new job

Originating dream job position and possibly traveling every 2 weeks for it just wasn’t good for students, for the gym or for me. But I miss y’all.

Saw Falsettos (Broadway) show

it was NOT a comedy

I was NOT prepared

AND if meme photos of me crying on the train alone after ever come out it is Todd’s fault. The end.

Finish/graduate from UW-Stout’s Instructional Design Graduate Certificate program

I survived the aforementioned hardest class in m’life.

Genuinely sad/miss my group TO THIS DAY.

June

Mom & Dad come to Chicago –

Father’s Day

Field Museum

Architect River Cruise

CHICAGO HOT DOGS!

Had huge audition for something I really wanted. Felt good about it. Didn’t get it.

Did a 5 Things CSz workshop

July

Performed for the first time w Ben, Nicole & Nate as music improv team AirBRB

Had lunch with Toni Berry, writer, bud, fellow Sagittarius, former Apple co-worker

By ‘lunch’ I mean we hung out for like 4 hours. WE ARE LONG WINDED.

Decided to apply (and got) a workshop spot with RIFF; a music improv short form show that performs at iO.

Did improv set in a church service with Susan

it was a planned set; we didn’t just jump up and start, I swear

Lunch with Jenean, former work wife and also, strangely, my first time eating poke

I now love poke

WHAT TOOK ME SO LONG

Fly to Washington to drive to AZ with Mom & Em

August

4-Year Chicago-versary!

Me and the Bean are very happy together in a committed relationship over halfway to a common law marriage

Drive from Lynden, WA to Phoenix, AZ in 2 long days with Mom & Em

YES TWO DAYS

Teach 2nd training class in AZ for 8/5 class

Abby, L&D boss and of the 2 women I report to leaves the company. I hate this but still love her.

Sit in with Goat Milk Goddesses to perform at the Women’s Funny Fest at Stage 773

Dana comes to see me!

She’s the best.

I try my first Pole Dancing class at Brass Ring Chicago

Due to a Groupon I bought 6 months before that was about to expire 3 days later. I keep it up through EOY.

Compete in music improv competition “Verses” at Second City with AirBRB – we lose to some of my favorite people on Home Entertainment so I’m ok with it.

2nd RIFF show!

September

Audition for Anarchy, another music improv team

I don’t get it

But I know a ton of people in the room

I’m ok!

Speak to my UW-Stout instructor’s class about being hired to work in ID/Learning & Dev field as a Sales Trainer right out of our program.

Feel v accomplished.

Toggle from Crossfit back to LSAC gym by my house

Y’all CF is cool BUT MY WALLET WAS SCREAMING.

Play volleyball for Fall Season with people I met in Spring Season at Lincoln Park High School.

Catherine (Sales Boss) the second woman I love working for leaves the company. I hate this but love her.

I got her some goodbye cookies that Carrie makes and they are PERFECTION (see pic below) support Carrie she does amazing work and a percentage of every order supports a different charity every month. HERE IS HER LINK I LOVE IT. 

I got myself a massage. I am stressed/sad about the boss situation above BUT NOT THE COOKIES.

I got it on Groupon, I am fiscally responsible.

Start meal plan service to eat Keto for the month of October (officially 9/30-end of October).

Not fiscally responsible but IT IS OK.

Keto doesn’t let me eat fruit as as a Washingtonian this is a crime I do not like.

Make it the 30 days, lost 10lbs in Oct.

I get a new boss to report to on the Learning Team side at work. He seems cool although I don’t know it yet.

October

Final Pinafore show at CSz. I have the sads that this core group of people I love is done.

Yes, yes, I know we can still play together

IT WAS A GOOD BITTERSWEET THING

I know all things must end I used to watch Lost

Started some personal training with Brian at LSAC

I warn Brian I am a talker.

Brian makes me do weird double kettlebell swings. I am not good at it right away and hate it.

Literally all I do is try to make Brian laugh to get my mind off of sweating.

Guys, don’t worry. I got plenty of sweating in still.

Started an Olympic Weightlifting class with Keith at LSAC

I AM SHOCKINGLY GOOD AT THIS.

Thank you to the Crossfit gym and also Coach DeHoag at LC, I guess.

Cry at work 3x in one day after feeling overwhelmed w my 2 bosses being gone and the announcement we are upping our hiring aka much bigger training classes.

1. After a meeting

2. In a stairwell mid-afternoon

3. In first 1:1 with new boss

Is this a record and if so please get me a medal

I go to DC for the first time and get to hang with David, Bekah, Adam & Dana (and Millie)

I needed this.

Performed in Hocus Pocus Redacted at the Music Box as Allison.

 Yes, yabbos

November

Work tells me they approved hiring a 2nd person to do my role; we begin applications/interviews

Robbie becomes 2nd trainer at work and I begin trying to explain how/why I do what I do.

Audition for CSz & cast onto new Rec League team: Potluck

Watch Heather, Dan & Jess’s Bloody Christmas Carol show

My friends are fancy and sing & dance really well.

I came straight from a volleyball game and am very sweaty smushed next to strangers in this small theater.

See Robbie Ellis’s truly hilarious orchestra with Ben.

We fancy dress up.

We are seated in the front row.

We did not know we would be in the front row.

Thanksgiving week is my first week ‘off’ of training since starting my job on 5/1; I get so much work done and also contract a cold.

I do nothing except sit in my apartment alone for Thanksgiving, make myself mashed potatoes and I love it.

December

Record size massive training class (for us)

I am responsible for the learning & logistics of 20 people and gain (probably) 17 gray hairs.

Work approves a 3rd (Arizona) and 4th (Philadelphia) trainer; applications & interviews begin

I start seeing a therapist – it helps.

Nothing specific; I’m just noticing circular behaviors as I look back over my shoulder for 30+ years.

Added to the ensemble of RIFF

After performing as a sub several times since that workshop in July!

I’m added in the same class as Ben, Sarah & Will who I feel so honored to sing (and rhyme) with.

I fly home for 12 days to Lynden, WA

I turn 32 sitting at home, surrounded by my family.

I tell my family I plan on climbing Kilimanjaro in October 2020. I announce it at my birthday dinner so I can’t back out of it. NAME IT AND CLAIM IT BBS.

Yes, another blog post will come to flesh this ^^ out.

Performed with Upfront Theatre’s ensemble, including Ryan Stiles, for the 2nd time in Bellingham on the day after Christmas. My family is there seeing me do what I love and I am happy.

2019 Overall

Performances – with Pinafore, with MINt teams, RIFF and so many other opportunities to sit in and play with teams. Feeling grateful.

Shows – I saw countless shows; CSz matches, iO & SC improv, staged shows, musicals, Broadway, even just at movie theaters! Ya girl is stuffed full of stories. Also I have crazy talented friends.

People – I saw family 4 times! That’s almost a record for one year! Lunches, grocery store runs, shows and coffee times with so many friends too.

Health – Got my first ever stitches (shoulder), which was a weird first to have post-30. Overall healthy but somehow got food poisoning 3x this year. Probably won’t be asked to be on Bear Grylls show because of it ever.

Work – very happy to be working in the Learning & Development field as a trainer, instructional designer and general weirdo. Finally. GH has been very good to me.

Mental state – I’m pausing here and looking around my house, just thinking about this one.

I’m proud to be taking steps to correct patterns and behaviors that are unhealthy. Seeing a therapist that gives homework to work on between sessions is great.

I’m improving at recognizing progress as progress even when I wish the progress was bigger.

I’m proud/terrified to be setting the goal of climbing Kilimanjaro in October 2020. It scares me and excites me. More to come on this!

I’m thrilled to be an ensemble member on a long-term team. This has been a goal since I got to Chicago – I don’t need to drive my work to SNL or Mainstage. I just want to be on a consistent team of talented friends that I laugh with and improve my skills.

Hiya, 2020. Let’s go.

She’s Solid. I know I kinda did a recap already from Oct '18-19 - and I was going to write one of my rambling, lovable, GIF-heavy recap posts but I kind of like this bullet points idea.

[newsbiteswithjennysok]

Oct 25, 2019

1. A leaked transcript has revealed the candid remarks of office-rental company WeWork's new executive chairman at an internal meeting, where he told employees facing layoffs that they would be 'taking one for the team'. Marcelo Claure, a SoftBank executive who took the reins at WeWork this week as part of the Japanese investment firm's bailout of the startup, made the remarks in a staff meeting Wednesday. Fielding questions from anxious staffers at WeWork's Manhattan headquarters, Claure addressed inevitable layoffs, founder Adam Neumann's staggering $1.7 billion exit package, and employee fury over stock options that are now worthless. The staff meeting took place a day after SoftBank, WeWork's largest shareholder, took over the company and installed Claure as executive chairman. It committed an additional $9.5 billion to the roughly $10 billion SoftBank has already sunk into the startup.

Sources close to WeWork have mentioned a range of figures for possible layoffs in recent weeks, from as few as 2,000 to as many as 5,000.

The job cut will amount to just under a third of WeWork's global workforce, and about 1,000 of the cuts will hit employees such as janitorial staff, according to a source cited by the Financial Times.

'Are there going to be layoffs? Yes. How many? I don’t know,' Claure said in his opening remarks at the staff meeting, according to the transcript.

Claure said that anyone who was laid off would 'leave with dignity'.  

'It’s always painful. You know, they’re never, it’s never a day of joy, right?' he said later in response to an employee question.

'But it’s something that whoever is laid off, they’re going to know that they’re taking one for the team to make sure this company thrives in the future,' he continued.

2. Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez are doing their part to prevent child hunger. The couple revealed they have donated a year's supply of food to a school in Tennessee, after hearing how teachers there banded together to feed a hungry student.  

Elementary school teacher Brooke Goins revealed on Facebook earlier this month that she enlisted the help of her fellow instructors to buy food for a pupil who did not have enough to eat and was relying on the school for sustenance.

Moved by the story, Jennifer, 50, and her fiance, 44, announced Thursday they had decided to donate a year's supply of food from Tiller & Hatch, which they are both part owners of.

3. Jeremy Renner's ex-wife feels threatened by the Avengers actor and is seeking protection in their bitter custody battle, legal documents have revealed.  Sonni Pachecho, Renner's ex, has filed more documents requesting that upcoming depositions should take place in a more secure setting, giving her a separate room in the courthouse.  In the documents, Pachecho said that Renner threatened to kill himself and her, claiming that their daughter, Ava, 6, would be better off an orphan than to have her as a mother. They also said that Pachecho has requested a separate room where her depositions and the depositions of Ava's nanny can be taken, adding that she wouldn't feel safe without it, according to TMZ.

According to earlier court documents, Pachecho said that Jeremy was at a club in November last year, high on cocaine and booze, when he began talking about killing her.

She also said that he put a gun in his own mouth before firing a bullet into the ceiling when Ava was asleep nearby. 

Sonni also submitted some of the couple's text messages as evidence. Some are included below;

Sonni to Renner: 'I would just like to know if you have my things, my passport etc. because if not I need to file a police report because I am worried someone took them'

Renner: 'I swear I just saw it somewhere. Maybe my safe perhaps. I can't be sure.'

Sonni: 'If you can check that would be great. Thx.'

Renner: 'All Good here. Think about my offer. We can negotiate'

Sonni: Can I grab my things before bed please? I have an apt. with the DMV and need my belonging.

Renner: 'I told you the terms in which I can help you.

Sonni: 'And these terms are what? I have a trip planned to my family can meet Ava for the first time,again she will be 2 in march. This is insane. You know how excited I am.... what do you want? I need my belonging (sic) back. You are not allowed to take someone's personal property.

Renner: 'I have no idea what you're speaking about. Everything is safe as far as I know.

Sonni: 'If you keep acting like this I will get another party involved. You are not mature enough to handle this alone so I need to take action.

Renner: You said you already did. You started this unpleasant sink by saying that. I now (sic) how to defend myself. You drew first blood. Sorry.'

Sonni: Ava's passport is in your safe along with mine.... why are you holding my stuff hostage? Let's be adults and not make this a public matter.

Renner: All is safe. And your threats are noted and acknowledged.

Sonni: We both deserve better so let's set each other free.

Renner: Ha ha ha. I have NO idea what you're saying but you're funny.

Sonni: Your (sic) welcome for your 2 hour long massage last night. And thank you for dropping me off on the road today and not even getting in contact to see if I was safe.

Renner: Are you a victim all the sudden? (sic)...Put your claws away tiger. Nothing to scratch here.

Sonni: I'm never a victim. I'm strong as (sic) women (sic) that puts up with your bipolar episodes.

Renner: I'll put your victimized excuses in my pocket with the REST of them... by the way calling the kettle black. YOUR family is touched by the bi polar disorder. I only pray that this  unfortunate gene isn't passed to our baby.... You can run. But you cannot hide Pacheco. 

He allegedly told someone he 'could not deal with her anymore', and he 'just wanted her gone'.

She also alleges that the Avengers actor abuses drugs and alcohol and has a history of emotionally and verbally abusing her.

The former couple had agreed to joint custody, however, Sonni is now pushing to be the sole carer for Ava and only allowing Jeremy supervised visits.  

Renner allegedly hit out at Ava's nanny, threatening her with his suicide.

'Because of you [the nanny]. You're the reason I pulled the trigger. Do you think if my blood and brains are all over my bedroom floor, do you think you would be living this lifestyle in this mansion,' the nanny reported Renner saying, according to TMZ.

Renner has denied all of the allegations against him and fired back in his own legal documents, saying his wife is acting out of spite because she is bitter that they broke up.

He said he does not abuse drugs or alcohol and says he even submitted to random drug testing to prove it.

Renner also, according to TMZ, hit back at a disturbing allegation he says his ex is making - that he sexually and physically abused Ava.

He says she used to brag to friends about 'bagging an Avenger' and that she plans her attacks on him to coincide with the release of his movies so that she gets the publicity.

The star added that she was 'obsessed' with demonizing him.

Renner and Pacheco married in 2014, a year after Ava was born. They separated the same year.

Last year they reached a new agreement on child support to last through 2020.

The star was originally paying $13,000 a month, but now if his yearly income exceeds $2.3 million, five percent will go to his ex.

Under the agreement, his payments to Pacheco will never exceed $200,000 per year.

Any excess will go into an account for their daughter.

With funds initially going towards her education, any money left over will be hers to use freely once she turns 27.

4. For the third time in two weeks, actress Jane Fonda was arrested while protesting climate change in Washington, DC after vowing to protest 'every Friday'. But she wasn't alone. Star of NBC's The Good Place, Ted Danson, was also handcuffed during the protest, which took place on the steps of the Capitol.Photos captured Fonda, 81, dressed in a long red coat, black trousers and black shoes - and in zip-tie handcuffs, raising her hands up as if in triumph. Meanwhile, Danson, 71, was pictured laughing in the same handcuffs while wearing a grey flat cap, a grey sweater, a grey jacket and blue jeans. Fonda's arrest marks the third Friday in a row that the actress has clashed with police during a protest in the nation's capitol.  

According to Capitol Police, Fonda and Danson were 'among 32 people arrested for allegedly unlawfully demonstrating in the intersection of East Capitol and First Streets'

Earlier in the day, Fonda and Danson were seen walking along signs that read 'Climate Action Now' and 'Green New Deal Now' - a nod to New York representative Alexandria Occasio Cortez'a proposed legislation to tackle climate change.

At one point, Fonda herself held a poster that read: 'Get in Motion/Save our Ocean.'

The two were arrested during an event called Fire Drill Fridays, which are organized by Fonda in an effort to get politicians to address climate change.

Capitol Police released a statement on Friday afternoon that read: 'Fonda and Danson were among 32 people arrested for allegedly unlawfully demonstrating in the intersection of East Capitol and First Streets.'

The demonstrators are being charged with crowding, obstructing or incommoding, which are classified as misdemeanors.

Fonda says she's relocated to Washington, DC - at least, temporarily - after being inspired by climate change activists such as Greta Thunberg.

5. New footage has emerged of disgraced producer Harvey Weinstein’s controversial visit to a Manhattan event — showing a female comedian bashing him as the “Freddy Krueger in the room” during her set.

“I’m going to name the elephant in the room. Do we know what that is?” comedian Kelly Bachman told the crowd gathered at the LES Downtown bar on Wednesday for Actor’s Hour — an event for young performers.“It’s a Freddy Krueger in the room, if you will. I didn’t know that we have to bring our own mace and rape whistles to Actor’s Hour,” Bachman continued to loud boos from men in the room.“Shut up!” one man can be heard bellowing.“This kills it as group therapy for rape survivors,” retorted Bachman, herself a rape survivor, to cheers from women in the audience. “They love it.”

Weinstein’s visit to the event made headlines Thursday when actress Zoe Stuckless was caught on video tearing shreds into him before she was kicked out by security. “Nobody’s gonna say anything? Nobody’s really going to say anything?!” she yelled, pointing a finger at Weinstein, according to a video posted to her Facebook.Weinstein — who has been accused of sexual misconduct by more than 70 women — sat in a dimly-lit booth flanked by several women and kept his head bowed as Stuckless ripped into him. “I’m going to stand four feet from a f–ing rapist? And nobody’s going to say anything?” Stuckless yelled, throwing up her hands before she was escorted from the bar.

A spokesperson for Weinstein told The Post the scene was “uncalled for, downright rude and an example of how due process today is being squashed by the public, trying to take it away in the courtroom too.”

[themomsandthecity]

Original Wicked Stars Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel Look Back on Show's 15th Anniversary

Fifteen years after Wicked took Broadway by storm, its original stars Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel have reunited to celebrate the Stephen Schwartz-penned musical’s legacy in NBC’s A Very Wicked Halloween — and they’re telling PEOPLE all about it. The two actresses and Tony winners will host and perform on the show, which was taped on Oct. 16 at New York City’s Marquis Theater. They’ll be joined in the NBC special by a cavalcade of special guests — including Ariana Grande, Adam Lambert, Ledisi, Pentatonix and members of the past and present company of Wicked — to help celebrate the music and the magic of the show. Chenoweth, 50, and Menzel, 47, were last back together in 2016, when they performed a duet from the show for the first time since they hung up their broom and wand after the 2004 Tony Awards. Wicked opened on Broadway on Oct. 30, 2003, and has gone on to become a cultural phenomenon — winning over 100 international awards (including three Tonys) and earning over $4.6 billion in global sales, with performances in over 100 cities across 14 countries around the world. Over 55 million people have seen the show worldwide. Based on the novel by Gregory Maguire, the musical tells the story of the witches popularized in The Wizard of Oz, but from their perspective. Book writer Winnie Holzman adapted the tale, while Schwartz penned its Grammy-winning score. Songs like “Defying Gravity,” “Popular” and “For Good” have gone on to be come mainstays in the musical theatre lexicon. A film adaptation of the musical has long been in development at Universal, with Variety reporting in August that the movie currently has a Christmastime release planned for Dec. 20, 2019. No casting has been announced yet. Before hosting and performing on the special concert event, Chenoweth and Menzel sat down with PEOPLE and looked back on their time together in Oz. PEOPLE: What has it felt like to return to Wicked? Chenoweth: I never thought I’d be in anything that lasted 15 years, let alone 15 seconds. Nothing lasts this long. This has lasted longer than any of my romantic relationships! It’s amazing. Menzel: It feels profound. It’s an honor to have this opportunity to commemorate Wicked, but it also forces you to look back on your life and see what the experience has taught you, where you’ve come from, what your journey’s been like … I feel very emotional and reflective. You both set the standard for these characters that countless actresses around the world have worked to meet since. Was it as perfect of a fit right from the start? Chenoweth: Right from the start! Very few times in our career do we have a hand-in-glove moment, and Glinda was mine. I just thought when I read it, ‘This is my part! And if anybody else plays Glinda, I’ll kill them in their sleep! Menzel: I remember I had to learn ‘Defying Gravity’ for my callback, and I started learning at home and I was crying to my ex husband who was working on it with me at the time. I really wanted it so badly. I would get chills when the music would start and the intro! I had no idea what it would become but I knew it was something special. I needed this role to teach me something about life that I needed to learn. What did you love about watching the other in the role? Chenoweth: I loved watching Idina find Elphaba. We weren’t given the rules, we just had to find it. And that process — the things that didn’t work, the things that worked — that was a joy to be up close to witness. Menzel: The good thing about working 8 times a week together is you get to see someone who is incredibly talented do their thing and learn from it. I learned from a comedic genius. Second to second, moment to moment, she’s just spontaneous and has such a feel — an arithmetic feel — for comedy. Do you miss the green, Idina? Menzel: Yeah… not so much. It was sometimes a pain in the ass, but sometimes it was great to get into character. I actually feel really beautiful in the green. The green, the way that they created the makeup look for it was very goddessy. I felt pretty Vogue in it. What about you, Kristin: Do you miss the bubble? Chenoweth: I was shocked when I woke up after I left that I still didn’t come and go by bubble. Where’s the bubble machine? What happened. I loved it. I had three minutes alone on the way up. It was slow moving and I was able to take those three minutes and really do my pre-show ritual — to get mentally prepared for what was to come. Tell me about your favorite memory from working on the show. Menzel: I would say probably opening night with Kristin. We had been workshopping the show for many years, and you never know with a show if it’s going to come to fruition. You go through all of these incarnations — and most of the time, shows go nowhere. So to finally be standing up there with her hand-in-hand, taking a bow, and feeling the love for the audience? That was really wonderful. Chenoweth: That was our Madonna moment, opening night in San Francisco. Imagine Madonna, 1986, at Madison Square Garden. In my mind, that’s what it was. We knew then this was going to be something special. But it wasn’t until all the little girls showed up at the stage door, dressed in pink and green, that I realized this was bigger than just our little show. This was telling them something about life they needed to hear. And it’s had that affect on audiences for all these years. Did you take anything with you when you left? Menzel: Ooh I think I stole a couple things. I have my black hat, I have a broom, I have a green baby … I have a lot! Chenoweth: I cannot confirm or deny what I have in my apartment to this day. I may have a wand but I cannot confirm or deny … RELATED VIDEO: Go Inside Broadway’s Wicked for 15th Anniversary Production You both sing songs from Wicked still in your solo concerts. Are the fans just as excited as they were on opening night? Menzel: And then some. You know, it’s amazing because growing up, theater and pop were very separate. And ever since Rent for me, things have started to move in the direction where everyone just wants to hear good music, it doesn’t matter what it is. For us, even if our song isn’t played on the radio, if we can hold a microphone out and the audience can sing an entire verse back to use, we feel like rockstars. Chenoweth: When I sing ‘Popular,’ there’s just that first note from the piano and they clap. I don’t even have to sing! I get applause. So I love it. What advice would you give yourself back then, now? Menzel: Stop apologizing and believe in yourself — believe that you are a good actress. I struggled with that doubt andI wish that I would have really learned to own who I was earlier. Chenoweth: I had fun, for sure. I had a good time. But I wish I would have just enjoyed it a little more. Don’t think about what’s next — just stop and have fun. A Very Wicked Halloween: Celebrating 15 Years on Broadway airs Oct. 29 (10 p.m. ET) on NBC. http://bit.ly/2PpfNtO

[sharondemarko-blog]

It Wouldn’t Go Away

(Reprinted from Shades of Style magazine)

By Sharon DeMarko

The boy became a man and then a father.

The girl became a woman and then a mother.

Both shied from revealing tortures endured as Residential School inmates on reservation exile, at different times and in different places.

All this man and woman had in common was the school/the reservation … Until their children grew up and devoted their lives to cultivating what colonization tried to brainwash.

Native Designer DeMontigny Defines Chic

           Angela DeMontigny’s reputation as an Aboriginal Fashionista celebrated worldwide peacefully avenges, in part, her father’s unchosen role in Canada’s darkest colonial hour.

           “My dad was a survivor of a Residential School. We didn’t know about it until later on. He was reluctant to talk about it (when we were growing up). I grew up in suburbia in Vancouver.”

           During two decades devoted to studying her Cree/ Métis heritage, clothing design, art creation, and intensive advocacy, Angela laid a highway connecting the Indigenous cultures that Residential Schools strove to eradicate, to today’s audience hungry for authentic, innate beauty with power and purpose. She describes her growth as natural evolution, rather than a deliberate plan to achieve some definable goal.

           “I’ve always been kind of a bridge … I try to teach true artistry, show people things that are different, the spirit of the person that went into a garment … Art is very spiritual, mystical …”

           DeMontigny, the name, reflects an ancestral link to France where today’s President Emmanuel Macron emphasizes politically what Angela conveys artistically – designs/ideas that tap into the human spirit’s potential through the patterns of history, shaping and reshaping belief systems, as well as wardrobes and room décor.

           She describes DeMontigny Boutique Gallery, seductively titled “Native Canadian Chic” on her elegant website, as “a collection of items that tell a story”. Here, a shopper for one-of-kind clothing, in rich sensual textures and blazing colours sculpted to the body, becomes a student of this nation’s  first peoples and their customs. As well as acclaiming her direct lineage, Angela draws inspiration from Canada’s other two official groups, First Nations and Inuit, in all, hundreds of societies offering inspiration.

           In this Hamilton emporium of Indigenous Luxury, a day can be spent without seeing it all. A man might fancy the hand-painted Eagle Moto Jacket; a woman desire the Summer Wolf Raw Pendant; a child grasp the card identifying the 7 Grandfather Teachings from Anishinaabe and Aboriginal Peoples: truth, respect, love, courage, honesty, wisdom, humility.

           Angela’s generous with gallery space, showing family-wrought flatwork by Loretta Gould, a Mi’kmag painter/weaver from Waycobah First Nation and her husband Eliot. Polished primitive images symbolize visceral moments – Dance With Buffalo, First Love, Creator Protect Me – in colourations common to Native Chic’s eclectic collection.

           Colour has traveled a long road since first made 60,000-80,000 years ago from ochre and iron clay, but Nature still sets the palette. From the sky, blues of turquoise, ultramarine, fire opal… The sun sets in scarlets and rises in pinks and corals. Yellow springs from bumblebees and butterflies. Parents of purples, chief colouration this summer, range from lilac to plum.

           Boutique inventory represents Angela’s old-as-the-ancients practice of cooperation over competition. The gallery partners with photographer Annette Paiement, Hamilton Arts Council Executive Director, to create limited edition postcards which helps buy supplies for the Water Protectors movement.

           This fashion powerhouse combines touchable leathers and stroke-me suedes with gold, silver, other metallics, and details like fringe, lace and embroidery cutworks, appliques and hand beading. Leathers acquire such malleability, they form evening dresses, even customized wedding gowns, engagement rings and IT bags. Men, women and children wear her designs, often uniquely created for and with the individual wearer, as well as readily wearable on shelves and racks.

           Diverse media have followed her career, ranging from Women’s Wear Daily to Outdoor Life Magazine. Accolades sweep from CTV's Success Stories to the National Aboriginal Achievement Awards, and the Calgary Stampede Royalty. Documentaries and music videos unveil her talents. It seems the only person unimpressed with her achievements is Angela herself. She loves people and wants the best for all, welcoming and making time for new acquaintences as if they’re fast friends.

           Angela honours her peers, producing such showcases as FashioNation - L'Oreal Fashion Week; Fire & Fashion - Planet IndigenUs; and the inaugural Aboriginal Fashion Week during the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver.

She never stops. Her next new Capsule Collection launches during South Africa Fashion Week, Oct. 23-27 for men, women and trade stagings; Luxury Design PopUp Nov. 1-3.

It’s Cool to Warm Yourself in the Blanket of Understanding

              Slide into the Blanket Exercise to put on the weight of loss carried by Canada’s Indigenous Peoples.

              Created in 1995-96, the year Residential Schools at last closed, this poignant take on parlour gaming has been played by thousands of Indigenous and nonIndigenous men, women and children in spaces as small as dorm rooms, large as St. Catharines’ Farmer Market.

              Inviting, as opposed to threatening, participatory enlightenment avoids the risk of ordinary protests. You are acting out, not arguing. Besides, blankets are prettier and friendlier than placards.

              Spread enough blankets to accommodate all players across the floor. Invite your guests to pick standing spots on the coverings. As facts are read from provided scripts, gradually fold the blankets toward centre until players huddle with no place to go. (Complete instructions are online at kairoscanada.com)

                Inventors named the activity Exercise because it is neither gametime nor playtime. It is a compassionate, emotional and intellectual lesson about the games government played with the lives of its original citizens. Incremental blanket shrinkage represents lands and rights denied as colonization dehumanized First Nations, Inuit and Métis peoples.

              Blanket Exercise takes about two hours, one for recititation in retreat, followed by Talking Circle, when participants share insights gleaned during seizures of symbolic properties.

           The Venerable Canon Valerie Kerr, recently retired rector of St. John the Evangelist at Stamford, expertly conducts the ritual as part of her role as Archdeacon for Truth, Reconciliation and Indigenous Ministry. When Anglican hierarchy created this ambitious position, it was Val they first picked to help heal relationships with Aboriginal Peoples, her people. Then Vice Rector for St. George’s at St. Catharines, Val was appointed two years ago, but has directed the shrinking blanket/landgrab ceremony for two decades, long before it became fashionable.

           She’s adamant that “the church needs to be accountable,” in a compassionate way – “We’re all God’s children.” That’s backed up by St. John’s motto: “The Church Where Children are Seen AND Heard.”  Children immediately come to mind in talking about her mission. “We still have a lot of work to do … a lot of our youth are really angry … People say ‘Youth are our future’. Youth are our now!”

           Velvet-brown, big round eyes comically rolled up, long blondish hair fashionably tip-curled, Val leans back in her lounge chair for a pensive moment. We’re in a spacious reception area, off her office overflowing with books, papers and Val doesn’t seem to have lived an angry youth. “I know the church did a lot of damage to a lot of people, but in it I, found a safe place.”

           She finds anger a repressed fear.

           Like Angela DeMontigny with her father, Val had to coach her mother into talking about mandatory deculturalization. Unlike Angela, Valerie grew up on a reserve.

           “When we moved to the city, Mother was very concerned about what people would think. There was also denial until, eventually, there was reconciliation and we could talk about the past.”

           Angela DeMontigny. Valerie Kerr. Two daughters in diverse fashion unite in the common cause of both reconciling and restoring the past in the present.

 Complete blanket instructions are online at kairoscanada.com

[samsaraproject]

Project Diary (Keep Editing)

OCT.17th

After being split from our original group, we immediately discussed other ideas. I put forward the concept of doing something weird which would have meaning and interpretations. I suggested two videos which involved masks. One a video including a cultural Japanese mask, and the other a mask of a fish. Both the masks serve different purposes but still resinate a disturbing sense of weirdness. With their being two Chinese individuals apart of the group we discussed the possibility of incorporating Chinese culture, beliefs and animals into our idea. Yet still we are unsure of the creative method to make our project a media frontier. However the ideas including masks have intrigued us in the little time we had to recreate our idea. 

A mask can be representative to a culture, religion, emotion, historical-event or story. A mask can also be simply used as a disguise. Allowing for a mask to portray certain things can represent a vary of meanings.

With two Chinese members of our group we could use Chinese text to tell a hidden message similar to the use of the Japanese used here.

Generally we were intrigued by how such masks with little significance on their own can create a very weird and disturbing display when put on the faces of humans in a particular context and setting. The fish mask was from a very short music video lasting only 48 seconds which saw a hooded person in a realistic fish mask in various outdoor settings next to a rocky coastline. Their is text used within the short music video however it is all in Japanese making it an even more curious piece of film. In the description box however it states.. 

“BIRDS BELONG TO THE SKY. FISHES BELONG TO TO THE SEA. BUT SOMETIMES... YOU JUST DON'T BELONG ANYWHERE.”

Thus the video itself is deliberately representing a intriguing character within a very random setting to be entirely thought provoking and weird. The title is simply called “Hauntitled.”

OCT.25TH

Relating our inspirations back to Chinese culture. We considered that Buddhism (a major religion within China) has beliefs related directly to animals. ‘Samsara’ is a Sanskrit word that means “wondering” or “world” and refers directly to the rebirth cycle belief within ancient Indian theology (and in this case Buddhism). Samsara is more commonly known as reincarnation, in which a human is reborn into the being of a particular animal after death. Within Buddhism, a Buddhist must strive to break this cycle of death and rebirth by attaining nirvana which is the highest form of enlightenment which the Buddha achieved through meditation. Once attaining nirvana, the cycle of rebirth stops. 

Some ideas we went through involved portraying a person as there reincarnated self (or the self that was to come of there reincarnation). This would involve them wearing the mask of an animal that is to represent ones coming reincarnation. We could either have this character display arrange of emotions, body movements and social actives in public or simply have them doing little to nothing in which the focus point would be the setting and the mask. 

Preferably we would want to film in a natural setting with a range of plants, to represent a non-human wild atmosphere in which this half-reincarnated character displayed themselves in. (Kew Gardens was a recommendation). The story to this character could be deep in emotion or could lack emotion altogether. The character could be coming to grips with his future reincarnated self or have little empathy towards the fact he is to become of this creature when he dies. We could also use translated Chinese text to symbolise or literally tell a hidden story behind the character or setting. 

The animal mask itself would also reflect the cultural beliefs surrounding the meaning of the animal.    

For example: 

Owl (猫头鹰) - harbinger of death                                                                     Panda (熊猫) - symbol of Man                                                                       Monkey (猴) - driving away evil spirit                                                                  Eagle (鷹 or 鹰) - strength                                                                                        Fish (魚 or 鱼) - abundance and wealth (the fish is also one of the eight Buddhist symbols of good fortune).

To define and isolate the character we would use a range of different shot sequences involving close ups and far out shots to resemble the disconnections from humanity.

NOV.2TH

As we decided our idea, we listed the things we need to do in the nearly future.

Things to do:

- Research on story

- Ideas that we came up with

- Storyboard

- Each person's role

- Which method we are using and why

- Timeline on what we have done e.g. days we shot, equipment we bought

NOV.6TH

Methods into the Media frontier

When we agreed on the idea, we began thinking of methods in which we could make our piece a media frontier…...

1. Translation

The main one which we all agreed on was translation. Some Buddhism language is even hard to understand in Chinese.  An advantage to this was that we have to Chinese members which will help when it comes to the translation.

We found few sentences as our video enlightment in English. Kinnie translated them into Chinese version in an ancient Chinese way. She tried to translate into the Buddhism language as well, but it is too hard for her. She tried hard to make it shorter and clearer, just like the ancient Chinese. Old School.

These are the sentences we translated: 

Animalistic by nature 人本兽性

Humbled by thought  敬人者 敬之志

Searching for peace and happiness within a wild body  用野性寻求幸福安康

Internal desires crushed by mindful control 自我意念击溃一己私欲

Superior control at heart and mind 省身克己

Visibly enlightened to those unfortunate 以贤为政方能哀民

Mindfulness and control has compounded the hassled mind克己慎独方能明善其身

No thought of confusion, only wisdom fills mind 警心涤虑方可得其三昧“

Meditation has awakened the mind 慎思而明智

2. Masks

The second one we counted mask in our frontiers as well. The reason why we choose these two animal masks as our character is because of the Chinese history. We convergent Chinese culture into Western culture, thinking how we can let the audience understand much easier. This is a very  interesting experiment.

Nov.14TH

When looking for masks we went to Camden to see if we could find ones of a pig and monkey.  for this we went to the shop Escapade, however the masks were too expensive as they were around £30 which is not worth it as the mask would only be used for the shoots. At the end we agreed on looking online for masks as we imaged they were cheaper than in store and we were right.

The Day we went to Camden

The masks we finally chose

NOV.21TH FIRST FILMING DAY

When talking about a location we didn't really know any places in which we would be able to film. All we knew is that we needed a park where there were plenty of empty spaces and trees to create the setting of a forest. However we were not sure how we were going to gain access to a buddhist temple of some sort to start record at. Then a group member (Jossue) knew a park (battersea park) with many trees and a temple which matched our story.

First day at set we started looking at different parts of the park and picked out the most ideal ones for our project. The main ones were the Temple at Battersea Park and Kew Gardens. Understanding that we needed permission to film at Kew Gardens, we decided that filming at Battersea Park would allow us to be more flexible.

Temple in Battersea Park

Rose Garden in the Park

First day shooting

NOV.28TH DEC.3RD DEC.5TH FILMING DAYS

Filming all together took about 3 weeks using a range of different cameras to get the best range of footage. The masks were generally easy to work with however the pig mask had no eye sockets wide enough for me to view out of. So acting with the pig mask was limited. The monkey mask was also hard to see through however it the eye sockets were wide enough. Costumes as well were hard to find as costume shops only offered kids style fancy dress outfits unsuitable for our characters. We came to the decision just to wear a white hoodie which has a cultural Chinese Yin-Yang symbol of Taoism on it resembling Taoism a philosophy close to Buddhism. Chinese text was also underneath the symbol making it more culturally fitting for our video. The range of different shots vary from wild scenes of behaviour to peaceful calm scenes in which the body movement of the characters is smooth. 

The location of filming is to be viewed as like a mind palace. A place in which the characters are finding themselves throughout natured environment. The Buddhist temple is to be viewed as a place within the minds of the characters to which they have come to naturally through controlling themselves and bringing their consciousness to a more enlightened status. With the original story of the Journey to the West being deeply complex in the plot and character detail, we decided to keep the elements of seeking enlightenment and searching for a place to find this particular enlightenment. With the story including Buddha and attaining Buddhahood, we decided to use the temple (with status of Buddha) as the iconic scene for the characters to dwell upon.

Test shooting

DEC.8TH-DEC.11TH EDITING DAYS

Within editing we would use enlightening phrases, translate them into ancient Chinese styled phrases and include both English and Chinese translations in order to represent a sense of changing mindfulness amongst the characters. 

The editing itself took about 3 days to edit, originally the video was too long as we used long clips which we were fortunately able to cut down upon. The quick clips allow for the viewer to be more engaged in the motion of the characters, as the filming took place more or less around the same space, and with longer shorter snappy clips the viewer is lead to believe that their is a linear flow amongst the video. The filming around the park did take place at different parts of the park, however we had only a general sense of when and where these shots would be included in the final edit. However we always intended the temple shots to be included last, and for their to be a clear transition between the characters finding the temple.

About Music:

The music is made by Aidan himself so there is no copyright. 

The music  invokes a sense of awareness and change amongst the visuals, whilst attaining a weird basey sound which keeps the mood of the video relatively ambiguous and up for interpretation.

Links of information: 

http://www.shenyunperformingarts.org/learn/article/read/item/y3sCsCFkRu4/journey-to-the-west-classic-chinese-literarature.html

http://www.vbtutor.net/xiyouji/journeytothewest.htm

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-39728636

http://www.historyofmasks.net/mask-history/

http://www.historyofmasks.net/mask-history/history-of-chinese-masks/

http://www.historyofmasks.net

http://www.nationsonline.org/oneworld/Chinese_Customs/animals_symbolism.htm

[davidsilvercloud]

Terry David "Butch" Silvercloud, Visual Artist, Photographer, Physicist.... This is my naked life.............................

Tuesday, 24 October, 2017.  Today is my birthday.  Me, and the United Nations, are both 73 years old, today.

Can't say I'm the least bit thrilled about being old.  I'd rather be 15, thank you very much.  Oh well.  You may end up old, too, one day.  It's a crap shoot out there.

I'm finding I tire more quickly, lately  Part of that is my age, the other is a drug I now take for my joint aches.  I have Arthritis and old injuries to my neck, back, and right knee.   On the whole, I'm feeling pretty good, these days, under the circumstances.  I try to stay in shape with regular exercise at home.  I've been doing nude selfies the past several years since I began a treatment program for my health issues.  I try to shoot boner shots, too, but am finding it easier on some days, than others as I get older.   If you have ever done nude selfies, you will know that boner shots can be hard to do.  I'm a photographer and have had lots of practice doing male nude photography.

=========== Butch teaches you some things about art.

Paris was the centre of great change in the 1850's...  The entire city was being torn down and rebuilt, the Paris of wide boulevards you know, today.  Anyhow, among the many changes going one were some really big advances for painters.  Hog's hair brushes with metal bindings meant wide, flat brushes were suddenly available.  Another big advance was the paint tube, developed by Winsor and Newton.  One could carry paint around with less concern about losing it all... it used to be stored in pig's bladders or similar body parts.  Portable easels were available and 'plein air' painting was born.  It didn't make it easy, trudging all that stuff around, but a group of friends/painters made it their mission to 1.  paint outdoors, and 2. paint large... outdoors.  They were to become known as the "Impressionists".

The Impressionists didn't give themselves that name.  It came from a news article about one of their first shows... salons, of their work.  The critic meant to 'dis them by saying their paintings were mere 'impressions', not 'real paintings', as it were.  They became known as The Impressionists, and the publicity was excellent.  People liked the stuff, or found it scandalous.  Most of them, the Impressionist group, were not very well off, but a couple of them had some income, or support, and they helped each other.

I could go on with interesting things, but here is something that will change your view of Renoir, forever.  So, here's the deal.  Renoir was one of the original 'Impressionists'.  His parents recogized his artsy talents, early on, so when he was 14, he was sent off to a porcelain company to be a working apprentice.  He took to it really well, and got to be really good at it... so good, he eventually bought his parents a house with his commissions.

Now, here's the thing.  To be good at painting tiny little plates, bowls, etc., there are tricks to learn, to be sure.  One requires a deft and steady hand to do the work.  The paintings are done with tiny little strokes of colour... many, many, many, many strokes.

Now... the next time you look at a Renoir painting, imagine it a bit smaller, on a plate.   That is, essentially, how he got his style, as it were.  His friends were quick to lift his ideas, and they all looked at old master paintings for inspiration.  Painters do that.  Picasso really liked old Roman and Greek pottery for the designs on them.  You can readily see that in paintings, once you know that.

Oh... before I go.  Monet was one of the original Impressionist group.  He is often confused with Manet, who lived at the same period.  Manet was from a well to do family and was expected to grow up to be a judge, just like his father and grandfather.  Manet had other ideas.  His work was not accepted by the Accademy for the annual Paris Salon, so an alternate Salon took place, at the same time... the Salon de la Refuse.  Manet showed his work there.  One can't help but speculate that daddy and grandpa had something to do with all of that... funding the show, as it were.

Monet really liked to be well dressed... it's easy to see why the two of them are so, easily, confused with each other.  Monet did well, enough, to get his own painting boat.  Paintings of Monet, in his boat, show him wearing white outfits, which might seem odd for a painter to do, but the river had rules about what colour clothing boaters had to wear.  Weird, huh?  Usually, painters wore a dark blue, or black coat smock, to avoid any colour being reflected onto the working canvas when they were close to it.  You will notice that, in paintings of some painters, the painter's dark smock... or coat.  You see the same thing on modern day movie sets... workers often wear black so they don't show up in reflections, in the final film, by accident.  Professional photographers and assistants usually wear black in the studio.

Bye from Butch, for today.  I'm 73, today, 24 Oct., 2017.  Bright, sunny day in Vancouver, today. =============

[ethanalter]

Inside 'The Perils of Punky,' the 'Punky Brewster' episode that scarred you for life

[Ed. Note: This post was originally published on Oct. 20, 2015. With Halloween approaching, we thought it was the ideal time to revisit an episode that kept you up nights as a kid.]

Hey…has this image been given you nightmares since your childhood?

  How about this one?

  Don’t worry; you’re not going crazy. You just had your mind warped by Punky Brewster as a child. That’s right, Punky Brewster: the otherwise adorable series chronicling the misadventures of a spunky orphan named Punky (Soliel Moon Frye), and her adopted father, Henry (George Gaynes). Exactly 30 years ago today, on Oct. 20, 1985, the beloved ‘80s series aired a two-part Season 2 episode that ventured into more horrifying territory than your average kiddie sitcom. Do a Google search for the episode’s title and you’ll find articles like “The Unexpected Horror of Punky Brewster” and “How Punky Brewster Traumatized a Nation,” not to mention Reddit threads where now-grown viewers share their memories about which scene freaked them out the most. (That first picture up top is a perennial favorite.)

“So basically, you’re saying that I scarred an entire generation?” asks Art Dielhenn, who directed “The Perils of Punky,” the terrifying episode in question. “I’m sorry! I wasn’t responsible — I was just taking orders.” Having already directed over 20 episodes of Punky Brewster prior to “Perils” (Dielhenn helmed the majority of the shows first two seasons, nearly 44 successive episodes in all), he approached it as he did any other installment. In fact, the only thing that really scared him during production was the thought of missing his deadline. “It was a challenging episode, and as the person tasked with getting it done, the size outweighed the task of making it scary,” he explains. “So it was a very different experience making it than the experience you describe having seen it.”

  Actually, the first half of “Perils” isn’t so different from standard Punky fare. While on a camping trip, the titular heroine and her pint-sized pals — including chipper Cherie (Cherie Johnson), haughty Margaux (Ami Foster) and nerdy Allen (Casey Ellison) — get separated from their adult guardians and wind up inside a dank cave. While telling spooky stories to pass the time, the spirits of a Native American tribe approach them and charge Punky with the task of defeating an evil creature that lurks deep within the cavern.

Part 2 is where things get creepy, as Punky experiences a series of bizarre encounters that grow increasingly nightmarish as she approaches the end of her mission. First, she crosses paths with a man whose body parts are strewn in pieces around the cavern, leading her to christen him as — what else? — “Mr. Pieces.” (The fact that Mr. Pieces is played by instantly recognizable character actor, Vincent Schiavelli, just ups the weird factor. Dielhenn doesn’t recall the exact circumstances of Schiavelli’s casting or what it was like to direct a scene-stealer of his copious talents. “I doubt I had to do much,” he says, matter-of-factly.)

  After that, the gang is set upon by a giant spider, which wrestles Punky to the ground, while Margaux, Allen and Cherie remain stuck to its web, screaming. Fortunately, Punky regains the upper hand and she dispatches her foe to the arachnid afterlife with a well-timed tomahawk blow.

  Next up, the villainous spirit tests her lingering fears of abandonment, first by spiriting away her friends — replacing them with dancing skeletons or monsters with glowing red eyes — and then showing her a manufactured vision of Henry spontaneously deciding that he’s through being a dad.

  But Punky endures these various trials, and finally comes face to face with the architect of her would-be destruction, a glimmery phantom with Freddy Krueger-esque claws and a sinister voice, provided by none other than series creator David W. Duclon. Although the ghost tries to break her spirit once and for all, it winds up withering in the face of her pluck. Punky saves the day and is promptly reunited with her friends and father. It’s also revealed that her whole quest has just been part of her campfire ghost story, although a final shot adds an “Or was it…?” sting to the proceedings.

  Seen today, “The Perils of Punky” will likely inspire more laughs than screams, which is how Dielhenn characterizes the mood on set. “We always tried to make the set as fun and playful as we could for the kids. They would be going to school and then they’d come to set, and their buoyancy, kindness and desire for fun played into every scene.” One of those playful kids, Cherie Johnson, confirms his account. Now 39, the actress (and Duclon’s niece) remembers how her 9-year-old self cracked up. “I remember laughing at the spider,” she tells Yahoo TV. “I was on the spider web laughing with Amy and Soleil. We were like, ‘This is so lame.’”

The supernatural perils of “Perils” must have seemed extra-lame to Johnson considering that she and her co-stars were already seasoned horror movie fans. Every weekend, she’d have slumber parties with Moon and Foster during which they’d watch flicks like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Omen, while their parents cooked up big pots of blood-red foods like spaghetti and chili. “We would gross everybody around us out, but we were having the time of our lives,” Johnson says, laughing. “We were just different kinds of kids I guess, because we knew it wasn’t real. When we were shooting ‘Perils,’ we knew there was a props department, and we probably saw them making the spider and hoisting it up on its wires. So I don’t think the crew was worried about us being afraid. If anything, they had to be afraid of us trying to jump and play on it!”

  Like Dielhenn, Johnson is surprised to hear that “Perils” left such a deep impression on viewers. “I’ve never watched it in its entirety,” she confesses, likening the experience of revisiting any Punky episode to watching home movies of herself in kindergarten. “My mother still has the molding of my head that was used for the prop with the red eyes. My brother put it on his face recently and I hadn’t seen it in thirty years, so I was like ‘What is that?!’” Johnson’s primary memories of the shoot are the days they filmed on location in the wilderness, before shifting back to the show’s soundstages on the NBC lot for the extended sequences within the cave. Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show was housed on the same lot and Johnson says that she and Frye would often run into celebrity guests at the commissary. “One time we met Cyndi Lauper, and she put us on her tour bus and dressed us up.”

Reflecting on “The Perils of Punky” thirty years later, both Johnson and Dielhenn now have the distance to recognize why it might have triggered youthful fears amongst its audience. For one thing, the episode spoke directly to one of the essential themes of the series and a primal childhood terror: the idea that your friends and family would reject and desert you. “That theme was explored in many episodes,” says Dielhenn, who went on to direct episodes of such sitcoms as Silver Spoons and Head of the Class, before seguing into his current occupation as a professional career coach. “Punky and Henry would have many conversations about wanting to be with her mother and whether Henry would accept her and does she feel safe. There was a fundamental honesty in the emotional life of the characters, and that’s what I liked about doing the show. I haven’t thought about ‘The Perils of Punky’ for thirty years, but scanning it again, I can see how it could have been impactful for kids. No question.”

“Perils” also remains a generational touchstone because there are so few episodes of children’s television that are quite like it, especially these days when so many family friendly shows got out of their way to avoid upsetting or offending young viewers and, more importantly, their parents. Johnson, who continues to act while also juggling careers as a producer and author, has a 14-month daughter and has observed first-hand how the genre has changed. “I think a lot of it is made for adults and not kids anymore. Our generation was exposed to more than this generation is; everyone is trying to shield their kids. [Children’s shows] don’t talk about serious subjects in the way that we used to. They’d probably be scared of doing something like ‘The Perils of Punky’ now because too many people would complain. But I think it’s funny that, 30 years later, this is what sticks in peoples’ minds.” Nice to know that we can all share a laugh about giant spiders, dancing skeletons, girls with glowing red eyes and boys with crooked teeth and lifeless eyes…

  On second thought, no. Still freaked out.

All four seasons of Punky Brewster are available on DVD.

More Halloween stories from Yahoo Entertainment: MVPs of Horror: ‘Gerald’s Game’ star Carla Gugino on the scene making people pass out TV’s lost Halloween classics: 6 specials from beyond the grave Make a DIY ‘Spiderman: Homecoming’ suit from a few cheap items on Amazon