#you can play fast and loose with the laws in this au

[dyinggirldied]

Undereage Superheroes On The Rise: A Morally and Ethically Cause of Concern?

It's supposed to be another clickbait news but it comes at the time when the existence of ghost was recently proved factual at a small town in Illinois along witha its dead teenage superhero, when the heroes of Paris and by large France accidentally revealed they weren't adults at all, not even close, when Spiderman was unmasked to be 16-year-old Peter Parker, when the Young Justice was wounded in a large scale attack.

Most of the people involved and not involved are not having fun.

(This is inspired by the Miraculous fanfic The Growing Pains of Child Soldiers by BloodWolf13, a fic which I recommend you read since it is very, very good. Hits all my whump and angst points)

[bubble-popping]

so that drunz au completely consumed my life since I read it so obviously I had to write more for it

tw for blood, sharp objects, murder, gore yk all the typical Drunz Things™

So, they'd been a little reckless. The favor of a God tended to do that to people. Punz was no different.

News of their merciless killing spree spread quicker than expected. The bounty on his head doubled practically overnight. But they weren't too worried. For half his life he'd lived on the run, evading the law and consequences as well as they could dodge arrows. A few extra hunters didn't bother them.

Not to mention they provided a steady stream of sacrifices for his God.

They got cocky. Played a little too fast and loose around sharp swords and crossbow shots. He used to pride himself on leaving every battlefield the same way they'd entered: completely unscathed. However, with the power of a God behind him, he simply didn't see the point in that effort anymore. Some cuts and scrapes were negligible. If anything, the little scars they became were evidence he'd survived each encounter.

In hindsight, it was only a matter of time before this mindset got them into big trouble. That trouble came in the form of a particularly skilled group of bounty hunters.

Punz hadn't noticed the one lurking in the tree branches, too occupied by the twin swordsmen gunning for his natural weak points and the potion-wielder turning the very ground he tread deadly. An arrow lodged into their shoulder from behind, causing them to stumble directly onto a freshly sharpened blade, clean through their stomach. The second soon followed, penetrating him in the side.

The swords remained long enough for Punz to cough up blood. When they finally retreated, he promptly collapsed to his knees, dropping their own weapon and clutching their abdomen. One of them roughly grabbed a fistful of sandy blond hair, forcing Punz to look up at them, and he seethed.

No one made them bow except their God.

They knew He'd share the same sentiment.

"For how high that bounty is, we really expected more of a fight, Punz." One of the twins smirked down at him, leaning casually against the other.

"Following that god has made ya soft," the one gripping his hair remarked.

He didn't dignify their jeering with a response, instead beginning to mutter the incantation his God taught them a few days into their arrangement. A glorified distress signal, complete with the piercing of his nails through their marked palm.

Just as the last words left his bloody lips, a hand wrapped around his throat and squeezed, cutting off their oxygen.

"None of that. Your god friend can't save you now."

"With one job, we'll eliminate our biggest rival and-" Before the twin could finish, several green threads sliced through every inch of his body. In seconds, he crumbled into a heap of a million little chunks. His brother screamed, and that too was interrupted by the same thing.

Punz had to stop himself from falling forward without the support. They strained to see what happened to the others, but the blood loss decided then to make them dizzy and blurry-eyed. That damn arrow was more than likely tipped with some poison that accelerated the process.

Still, even as his strength slowly gave out, he felt completely safe.

"Oh, fuck, that's so much blood," a pleasantly familiar voice whispered in utter horror. Then, Punz was being carefully positioned to a sit on His lap. He looked terrified. It didn't suit His pretty face. "Punz? Punz, can you hear me?"

"Where's your smile...?"

Their God blinked at them, bewildered. "Smile?? You're bleeding out, idiot! Where does it hurt?"

Punz grunted as he gestured shakily to the wounds, responding through clenched teeth, "They got me in two places, and the arrow-"

"Okay, okay, don't move too much. Save your strength. I've got you." Their God's hand slipped under their cloak to touch the worst of the cuts. They could feel the strings slithering into the wound and stitching up the injured organs. It felt very strange at first, then waves of warmth and pure bliss made all his tense muscles go slack.

They relaxed in His arms, leaning on His shoulder, a mere puddle of a human. Nothing bad could happen to them here, shielded from the world by large, scaly wings.

At this angle, he got the perfect view of his God. His bright green eyes, pupils thin-slitted and entirely absorbed in His work. The freckles that littered His skin, heaviest at His cheekbones and nose. His full lips with the tiniest peeks of fangs, now pulled into a taut line in concentration.

Despite His order, Punz reached up to cup His face and tried pushing up the side of His mouth. Their God startled, work momentarily pausing before quickly resuming as He fixed them with a stern expression.

"What did I say? And have you been staring this whole time?"

"How can I not? You're just so beautiful."

His God rolled His eyes, shaking His head, though not enough for Punz to let go. "You could at least pretend to be subtle."

"Why would I do that? I'd never hide my love for you."

"Devotion. Not love," He corrected.

Punz's brow furrowed. "What's the difference?"

"One of those is the appropriate feeling for a god from a mortal. The other just... isn't practical."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You... Humans have short lifespans. You should spend it loving someone that..."

"That, what?"

"That... that's also mortal. That can handle loving someone with such limited time."

Punz made a soft noise of understanding. He'd heard this sort of belief from Him before, ever since the first time he told his God he loved Him. They were determined to prove Him wrong. Now cupping His face with both hands, soft and tender, they poured all the sincerity they could into their voice, "I meant what I said. Truthfully, I haven't loved before, not like this, but I have heard of it. If what I feel for you isn't love, then I think I've found something totally new."

They positively beamed to see the faintest hint of a gilded blush on His cheeks.

He scoffed, swatting Punz's hands away and moving to suture the wound on his side. "You're delirious from blood loss. Please, hold still and be quiet."

Certainly, it got harder to keep his eyes open, but they both knew that's not why Punz said what he did. But Punz could wait. Even if it took the rest of their life, they'd make their God see just how loved He was.

***

Perfect. Absolutely perfect. Everything was in place. The bushes were pristinely trimmed. The miniature puppet sat pretty on the ornately sculpted wood altar. The bodies strategically placed, tied to stakes. The only task left to do was spill their blood. Fresh sacrifices for his God.

Several weeks have passed since that fateful night. Since Punz's life was turned completely upside down in the best ways.

They recalled those hours with such fondness. To change from years of rolling his eyes and scoffing at the mere mention of the divine to thinking about his God every second of every minute of every day. From killing to survive to killing to thrive. In the blink of an eye, all their beliefs had been demolished like a shoddy shack against a hurricane. Not only were Gods real, but they were truly as ethereal as they always heard. At least, his certainly was.

Dream embodied perfection in every sense of the word. (They still got giddy at the knowledge that their God had given them His true name. The ultimate symbol of trust and respect.) Beauty, grace, intellect, speed, strength, and so, so much more. It would take Punz the rest of his life to list them all and they'd already made the promise to devote that precious time to serving his God.

Even better, Dream understood them. Dream recognized his skillset and praised them for it. Dream gave them a cloak when the cruel world had stripped them nude. Dream provided him with the one thing he'd been missing since the day they were born: a purpose. No longer did they walk this earth simply chasing the next high-paying job, merely collecting the gold and jewels by that point in his career.

Murder was sewn into Punz's very DNA. Death was how he entered the world, crying unaware while his mother took her last breath. His father never recovered, blaming his only child for the fate of his beloved. At the ripe age of ten years old, they killed their old man in self-defense.

Frankly, Punz was surprised he made it that long.

Odd jobs were the beginning. Anything for enough money to buy his next meal. Mercenary work was the natural succession. They didn't make a lot of friends, much too busy just trying to make it to tomorrow.

So, to learn that all their efforts had attracted the attention of a God? Punz felt like the king of kings. Finally, finally, he got the recognition he deserved. He wouldn't dare squander it.

The muffled confusion of one of their victims interrupted their thoughts.

Ah, right. They were in the middle of something important. How forgetful of him.

He walked to the first, reciting the incantation they'd memorized by heart, and used the dagger Dream had so graciously gifted him to slit their throat. The grass was soft and moist under their feet from the storm yesterday, dew glistening on the rose bushes like diamonds. Petrichor and a faint floral fragrance hung in the air.

The one that'd awoken screamed around her cloth gag. He decided to save her for last. Dream mentioned something about souls tasting sweeter the more they suffered at some point.

Blood splattered on their face and cloak when he cut too deep on one of them. Thankfully, their concerns over dirtying the clothing were long quelled. Dream said He liked the look of blood sullying it.

Soon enough, Punz stood in front of her, the woman--who he recognized as the head priestess--now fully alert and absolutely terrified judging by the sheen in her big green eyes. Almost as green as Dream's. He wondered how Dream's eyes would look when He saw what Punz accomplished.

A few days ago, he'd discovered another group that claimed to worship the God of Chaos. More so-called followers. Punz instantly saw right through them. Their sacrifices were laughably mediocre. They offered animals. Dream loved animals! All their chants were wrong, the symbols they used were wrong, everything wrong!

Naturally, Punz could not let such an injustice continue. It was becoming disturbingly clear that no one knew how to properly worship their God. A pity, because he believed his God deserved all the followers in the world, but not if they were so incompetent.

They said their incantation louder than the last times, grabbing her by the hair and making a point to hold eye contact while his dagger plunged into her stomach. He dragged the knife up, slicing through muscles and organs, and smiled as her sobbing grew louder and her eyes squeezed shut. With a twist, they angled the blade to her left breast, hearing the grind of bone against the metal. They peeled back the skin, cut away the fibrous tissues, and slid their fingers under her lung to grasp her heart--a difficult task due to how slippery his hand was from all the blood. With a strong tug, he ripped the still beating organ from her chest. The last thing she saw before her head limply fell forward.

After that, Punz walked to the altar and crushed the heart between both hands over the puppet that sat on its smooth, lacquered surface. Red liquid drenched and stained the wooden doll, chunks of soft flesh landing in its false hair. A puddle quickly grew around it, Punz's way of returning the favor. The doll, designed in Dream's likeness, was a gift after that almost lethal encounter with those bounty hunters. It served as both an excellent cuddle buddy and a way for Dream to know what was going on at all times.

"You've gotten quite messy with your sacrifices, Punz."

They lit up like a kid on Christmas. Punz turned, a Cheshire grin on his face and blood still dripping from his fingers. "My Lord! I didn't expect you so soon!"

"I've come to know big sacrifices like this mean you want to show me something. What have you done this time?" Dream tilted His head, smirking playfully and crossing His arms. Once again, He blessed them with the privilege of seeing His gorgeous face. It was happening more and more, and Punz fantasized about what it could mean.

"Do you recognize any of these people, my Lord?" They asked, approaching slowly, watching for any signs that Dream didn't yet want him close. His body language was a lot easier to read without His typical cloak, now merely donning simple loose fabrics around his hips and shoulders.

His God scanned the bodies before shrugging. "Not particularly."

"I knew it! Nothing but liars and false prophets, the lot of them! Barely even martyrs, how pathetic. You wouldn't believe the things they did in your name, my Lord. They completely twisted what it means to worship you!"

Dream hummed. His lighthearted air dropped along with His smile. "Your ramblings are even more nonsensical than usual. How much sleep did you get last night?"

"Sleep?" Punz paused. "I could not sleep. There was too much to do. And, truthfully, I-I was so excited to finish all this for you and see your reaction. You told me you thought roses were the prettiest flower, right? So, I figured what better sacrificing spot than a rose garde-"

"Punz. Come here."

They didn't like that tone. Nonetheless, he got closer until he stood just a foot away. "Yes, my Lord?"

"I appreciate your efforts. The roses are lovely and the sacrifices are nice as always. However..." He brought His hands to cup either side of Punz's face and the human melted immediately. "Worshippers that ignore their own needs are entirely useless to me. So, as your God, I command you to..." Punz steeled himself, expecting the worst. A useless worshipper deserved nothing more than death in their opinion. They only prayed Dream would make it a quick one. "Please, take a nap."

Punz blinked at Him. "A... nap?"

"Yes, a nap."

"But, I'm not tired..."

"Then I will lay with you until you fall asleep."

"You'll lay with me?" He questioned, so full of unabashed hope.

"If that'll help-"

"Yes! Yes, that would be wonderful."

Together, they settled against a nearby tree, Dream's back to the trunk and Punz laying atop His plush thighs. Dream's skin felt so much warmer and softer than that of His puppets--though he cherished them just as much. Normal pillows would probably be ruined for them now.

"I'm sorry, my Lord. This must be such a waste of your precious energy..." Punz murmured in a remorseful tone, fighting the strong urge to play with Dream's long blond waves that cascaded from beneath His hood.

"Hush now. This isn't about me." Dream closed Punz's eyes with a drag of His fingers before combing through their hair. The human easily relaxed under His touch.

"You're too kind to me, my Lord..."

"You're not kind enough to yourself."

"My sincerest apologies. I've disappointed you... I will do better, I swear it on my soul..." Punz's sleepy mumbles continued, but Dream paid them no mind. He simply continued playing with his hair, admiring the subtle contours of his face and how the rays of sun highlighted the gentleness of each slope. He thought about Punz's refusal to wear anything except the cloak He gave them those many weeks ago, now dirty and bloodied and stinky, until Dream made him a full outfit. And He mulled over how careless Punz was with their health, even barring the bounty hunter incident.

Most of all, He worried that He wasn't able to fix any of it. His threads could slice through flesh like butter and stitch it back together as if nothing had happened, but His threads could not combat these natural processes. They were powerless against the basic needs for food, water, and rest. He could not cure Punz of being human, of being mortal.

At least, not on His own...

No, surely Punz wouldn't agree to that. This was temporary, a kind of honeymoon phase. He just rode the high of being favored by a God. Soon, they'd realize what a terrible burden it truly was, what a burden Dream was.

Dream had long resigned to this knowledge. It'd happened before. In the end, all mortals were the same, prioritizing themselves above everything else. (They had every right to, really, what with such fleeting lifespans.)

Yet... Here this human was, losing sleep and sanity solely to make a pretty spot for sacrifices to Him. Dream could feel it; the dangerous fondness growing in His body that only worsened with each new show of devotion. His last contract utterly crushed Him. It taught Him how to cry. He could only imagine what He'd learn if this went on...

Dream plucked the puppet from the altar with his threads. A mere wave of His hand flicked all the blood off. Then, He placed it in Punz's hands where they soon hugged it to their chest with the sweetest smile.

He was too selfish. To be loved felt too good. And to be loved how Punz loved Him... A better feeling simply didn't exist.

He'd indulge as long as He could. The inevitable hadn't yet come to fruition. Dream could cherish this, for now.

[madamegemknight]

I've finally watched the Muppets 2011 with my dad, and it was a blast!! I love its sense of humor (seriously, that Muppet man joke had me CACKLING), and it's so heart-warming in its simplicity and having a good time despite the trials the Muppets went through... I feel like I can't wipe this smile off my face (ehe)

Do you have any other Muppet or puppet media you'd recommend? I thought I'd ask you since you're the resident puppet expert, and I've been wanting to get into more puppet-related stuff :P

OH YAYYYY I’m so glad you liked it!!

And I do have other Muppet/puppet media I would recommend, thank you so much for asking (and gosh I am incredibly flattered you consider me the resident puppet expert). This is going to be LONG (sorry about that in advance), so under the cut it goes!

First off, I’d recommend the sequel to Muppets 2011, Muppets Most Wanted! It’s about the Muppets going on a world tour after getting back together in the previous movie, only for a criminal mastermind named Constantine (who looks exactly like Kermit) to hijack the tour, sending the real Kermit to prison and pretending to be Kermit so he can hide from the law and use the tour as a chance to steal the Crown Jewels. It’s a really great comedy heist that’s also an INCREDIBLE musical, and it has the same humor and sense of heart that Muppets 2011 has. I haven’t seen it in a while, but I have incredibly fond memories of watching it with my sibling when we were younger, and I think you would really enjoy it.

I would also recommend the original Muppet Show! I haven’t finished watching it yet (I’m on season 4 of 5 at the moment) but it’s a really fun show that serves as a love letter to old vaudeville theater and is just consistently entertaining. There’s no overarching plot and you can pretty much watch any episode in any order, though I would suggest that if you’re interested in checking it out, you watch the Harry Belafonte episode first - it’s regarded by a lot of fans (including me) as being the best episode of the series, and gives a very good idea of what the rest of the show is like.

(Also I HIGHLY recommend you watch the pitch reel for The Muppet Show, which you can find on YouTube here. It’s not essential viewing by any means, but it’s very funny and gives a bit of context for what the field of entertainment was like at the time the show was pitched)

The original trilogy of Muppet films are also absolutely stellar. The Muppet Movie is the story of how the Muppets got together, The Great Muppet Caper is essentially an AU where Fozzie and Kermit are brothers working for a newspaper and trying to prove Miss Piggy innocent of a jewel robbery, and Muppets Take Manhattan is essentially an AU where the Muppets were all friends in college and are trying to put on a show in New York. The original trilogy films are really fun in my opinion because they play fast and loose with what’s real and what’s fake; Kermit admits at the beginning of The Muppet Movie that it’s only an approximate retelling of how the Muppets actually got together, and the other two movies in the trilogy are telling completely separate stories than the main Muppet timeline, with The Great Muppet Caper even having an entire song devoted to telling the audience that it’s just a movie and that it isn’t actually canon. They all have INCREDIBLE soundtracks, too, the songs from these movies are some of my favorite Muppet songs ever.

Fraggle Rock isn’t really considered a piece of Muppet media anymore, since when Disney bought the rights to the Muppets they didn’t bother buying it as well, but it was originally a Muppet production and all of the stuff I watched as a kid referred to it as a Muppet production, so I’m counting it as a Muppet production still lol. Fraggle Rock is an absolutely amazing show on all levels; the puppetry is great, the songs are all stellar, the characters are so well-written, and despite being a show aimed at kids it never talks down to its audience, handling serious issues like death and prejudice with the respect they deserve. It’s probably best to go into Fraggle Rock as blind as possible (unlike The Muppet Show, there is an overarching story, though you don’t really find out that there is one until towards the end of Season 1) so all I’ll say is that it’s probably one of my favorite Muppet productions ever and that the finale, without exaggeration, made me cry for 30 minutes straight. There’s also a Fraggle Rock reboot called Fraggle Rock: Back to The Rock, and while I personally don’t think it’s as good as the original series, it’s still REALLY amazing and you can tell that the team working on it really cares about the og series. If you do end up watching Fraggle Rock, I’d recommend the reboot as well!

Getting into a bit more obscure territory here, but Tales From Muppetland: The Frog Prince is very near and dear to my heart. It’s a Muppet retelling of the Frog Prince fairytale, with the twist that the princess has been cursed by the same witch that the frog prince has been cursed by! The relationship between Prince Robin and Princess Melora is really cute, and it’s clear that the two of them really care for each other. I love the changes that it makes to the original fairytale, too; I mentioned the twist of Melora also being cursed, which gives her and Robin the chance to bond and leads to a very sweet song about finding someone who understands who you are and what you’ve gone through, but the story is also altered so that Robin explains why he needs Melora to kiss him instead of hiding the fact that he’s a prince from her - she doesn’t believe him, but I’m glad they made that change regardless. The witch is also a really fun villain! She’s reused from a previous Muppet production (Tales of The Tinkerdee) that was meant to be a pilot for a planned show but was never picked up, and I’m really glad she got a chance to shine in something that was actually officially released.

Sam and Friends is the first ever Muppet series, debuting in 1955, and while most of it is unfortunately lost media there are a couple episodes you can find online! I really like Sam and Friends (I have a book all about the making of the show), and I would recommend it both as a way to look at how far television puppetry has come and as just a genuinely very entertaining show in its own right - plus, the episodes are only 5 minutes long, so you can get through all the available episodes pretty quickly. My personal favorite episode is “Powder Burn,” a parody of the show Gunsmoke.

Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas is probably one of my favorite Christmas specials ever, despite me only watching it for the first time this past December. It’s a very earnest and emotional story about a family (Emmet Otter and his mother Alice Otter) living in poverty after the death of Emmet’s father. Both Emmet and Alice want to be able to give each other a good Christmas present, so they both enter the local talent contest on Christmas Eve in order to win the cash prize without telling each other. The soundtrack is done by the same man who did the soundtrack for The Muppet Movie (Paul Williams), and is just GORGEOUS - it manages to be silly and heartfelt at the same time, and does some really interesting stuff with the instrumentals, like having a kazoo solo during one of the more somber songs which somehow actually works! Like Fraggle Rock, it it isn’t afraid of tackling serious issues like death and poverty, and like Fraggle Rock, it made me bawl like a baby.

Finally, I would recommend both the documentary Of Muppets and Men and the Jim Henson Hour episode “Secrets of The Muppets” (I sadly haven’t watched enough of The Jim Henson Hour to give a proper recommendation, but from the little I’ve seen it’s very good). Both of these tackle the behind the scenes of working on the Muppets, with Of Muppets and Men being about the making of The Muppet Show specifically and “Secrets of The Muppets” being a general overview of the stuff the Muppets had done up to that point. I completely understand if you don’t want to see the behind the scenes workings of the Muppets (my mom doesn’t like seeing that kind of thing either and I get why), but if you do want to see it I can’t recommend these two enough. They do an excellent job at introducing and highlighting the skills of the troupe of Muppet performers, detailing specific tricks of puppeteering, and showing how everything comes together.

There’s definitely more Muppet media I want to recommend, but if I did so we’d be here FOREVER, and I still haven’t gotten to the puppet media recommendations! This list does serve as a pretty good starting point though - if you like Frog Prince and Jug-Band Christmas you’ll probably like the rest of the Tales From Muppetland specials, if you like one of the original trilogy of Muppet movies you’ll probably like the others in the trilogy, if you like Sam and Friends you’ll probably like the Muppets’ appearances on shows like the Ed Sullivan Show or the Jimmy Dean show that they made during that period, etc. Most of this stuff is on YouTube or the Internet Archive, but if you’re looking for something specific and can’t find it, let me know and I’ll do my best to locate it 👍

AND NOW AFTER 50 MILLION PARAGRAPHS WE ARE ON TO THE PUPPET MEDIA IN GENERAL RECOMMENDATIONS

I have to start this list off with my favorite movie of all time, The Dark Crystal. It’s a fantasy epic done entirely with puppets, and it is utterly gorgeous. All of the puppets are so detailed (I had the absolute blessing to see some of them when a local museum held a puppetry exhibit and the sheer amount of tiny details you can’t even SEE in the film are incredible), the world is so richly developed, the soundtrack is absolutely top-tier, and the amount of innovations in puppetry that this film causes are mind-blowing. There are traditional puppets, people in suits, radio-controlled puppets…the list goes on! I cannot recommend The Dark Crystal enough, it means so much to me and is probably the reason I’m so obsessed with puppets in the first place. It also has a prequel on Netflix called Age of Resistance - like the Fraggle Rock reboot, I don’t think it’s as good as the og, but it’s still absolutely stunning and the team working on it clearly cares about the world of the original film. Sadly, the prequel was cancelled after only one season :( I still recommend it if you like the film, but just go into it knowing that it’s gonna end on a cliffhanger.

The Little Shop of Horrors movie has an absolutely AMAZING puppet in the form of Audrey II, the film’s main antagonist. There are multiple Audrey II puppets, as the character grows throughout the entire film, and the biggest one required over 50 puppeteers to operate. There are no opticals or blue screens used for Audrey II (except for one scene at the very end of the film that they had to reshoot), and the effect is mind blowing. Little Shop is an absolutely incredible film overall, too, and thankfully doesn’t use Audrey II as a selling point or a gimmick - the puppet is incorporated very naturally into the film, and you appreciate the puppetry much more as a result.

I haven’t watched Labyrinth, but my sibling has and they really like it! From what I’ve seen of the puppetry, it’s really well done, and the movie seems very fun. Sorry I can’t give a better recommendation than that lol.

If we’re counting stop-motion animation as a form of puppetry (which I personally do considering the models are typically referred to as puppets), then I absolutely recommend checking out the work of LAIKA, which includes productions such as Coraline and Kubo and The Two Strings. I also highly recommend Wendell and Wild, made by former LAIKA supervising director Henry Selick, as well as Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio. All of these films are stunning, and they absolutely deserve the hype that surrounds them.

This one is a bit more preschool-centric, but when I was very little I was OBSESSED with Johnny and The Sprites, and having watched a bit of it again recently, I feel it still holds up somewhat for older audiences. It’s a show about a musician named Johnny who moves to a house in the woods in order to focus on his music only to find that the house is next to Grotto’s Grove, where a species of fairy-like beings called the Sprites live. The series is focused on Johnny teaching the Sprites about human stuff and the Sprites teaching Johnny about Sprite stuff in turn. It’s a very cute and charming show :3

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum is Mystery Science Theater 3000, a show about a man trapped in space with 4 robot companions and forced to watch bad movies as part of an evil science experiment. It’s very goofy and very immature at times, and 99% of the time you need a guide to understand the stuff they reference, but it’s great regardless, and despite being very simple the puppets are really well-designed. Unfortunately, one of the characters is named after the ethnic slur used against Romani people in the show’s original run; it wasn’t done out of any intentional malice and the creators changed her name when the show was revived and viewers expressed their concern, but if that sours your opinion on watching the original show I completely understand.

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared is a classic, and for good reason - both the original webseries and the tv show riff off of and play with the stereotypes of traditional children’s puppet shows, while still clearly respecting the art of puppetry and giving it their own unique spin. It’s definitely on the spookier/gorier side of things, so MASSIVE content warning if you want to check it out, but DHMIS is very good and I adore it.

And with that, this very very very VERY long list comes to an end. I definitely didn’t mention everything that I wanted to - there are some excellent pieces of puppet media, like Starkid’s Starship, that I just haven’t gotten around to watching and thus can’t properly recommend - but like with the Muppet section, I’d suggest using this as a starting point. There’s a TON of puppet media out there, and this is just scratching the surface!

I hope this list helps, and that you find something on here that you enjoy :D

[elvisabutler]

1k angst prompt “Did you really think it’d be that easy?” With your Elvis! Selkie au please

and never again i'll go sailing

fandom: elvis presley | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: t with brief implications of sex pairing: elvis presley x female reader word count: 4069 warnings: mentions of seal skin. me playing fast and loose with selkie myth. jerry is a werewolf. mention of gambling. mentions of the colonel. mentions of elvis's poor health. mentions of implied violence against other people. the reader briefly being concerned about violence against her. elvis's anger issues. fights in pools. author’s note: thank you for this anon! i apologize for how long you had to wait because i had a whole issue trying to write this. i do enjoy how it turned out and i hope if you're still reading this that you enjoy reading it! this was done for my 1k gala that's been closed since march, based on angst line “did you really think it’d be that easy?” this is based on/in the same universe as the selkie au i wrote. not required to read it but it makes things make a lot more sense. y'all know the drill, real elvis or austin elvis works fine for this despite the moodboard. also seriously anyone who likes this au earns my undying adoration. i truly never thought anyone would enjoy this let alone multiple people so it delights me to see it. i also thrive on comments as usual and welcome them into my askbox.

As it turns out detangling a man who signed away his life under what you feel were dubious circumstances at best was harder than it looked. It's a fact you shouldn't be surprised about, you figure, after all, since the very moment you laid eyes on Colonel Tom Parker across the table with your eyes peering at him over your cards. You knew he wasn't perhaps the most honest of men. You know that carny men were always slippery as snakes when it came to business. Once upon a time you had run into a lawyer who- while a piss poor poker player was actually quite competent at his job. Problem was that you never had quite clarified with him what branch of law he specialized in. His business card didn't even help on that front either. A voice inside the back of your head reminds you to point that out to the man. Partially out of the goodness of your heart but also in the interest of keeping the man practicing and under gainful employment, just so you could use of his services if need be beyond this particular day.

"His contract- it's- it's not ironclad, there's some wiggle room but it's a tricky one to get out of." You end up opening and closing your mouth several times before the lawyer- Aiden, you think his name is, takes pity on you. "You didn't think this was going to be easy did you?"

Your face hardens just slightly, a fact both Elvis and Aiden pick up on before Elvis lays a comforting hand on your shoulder and squeezes.

"Down, darlin'," he says before leaning closer so that only you can hear his next words, "down my yittle seal wife. Ain't gonna do us any good to have get angry and start barkin'. Leave that to me."

Your chest shrinks down from the puffed out position you were in as you side eye him, your words coming out a harsh whisper, "Hard to bark if you haven't been able to shift."

It's a cruel comment that you at least partially regret the moment it leaves your mouth. Elvis's face had fallen, hurt coloring his features before he plasters a smile on his face and looks over at Aiden. "Can ya help me though? Get me outta this mess- this lil trap he's got me in?"

Aiden looks between the pair of you and the papers in front of him and exhales. "I can but you have to give me a bit of time. Especially if you want it done right."

"I'm supposed to go on a tour in a month," Elvis frowns, "that too tight of a timeframe for you?"

"Depends, is your girlfriend going to be the one I'm having to tell that to or you?" He tries to quip but you aren't as good at gambling as you are without recognizing a person's tells. There is no way he can do this in a month but he isn't about to admit it to both of you.

You manage a hint of a smile before shaking your head. "Oh no, you'll be telling Elvis that all on your own. I won't have a thing to do with it."

Aiden looks at you suspiciously but manages to compose himself well enough to make it so Elvis doesn't notice- or doesn't care to pay attention. You figure he can sense that you know what he's saying is complete horseshit but for the sake of everyone involved it's best to just let it sit for now. It's best to let things sit and not press lest something blow up in everyone's faces.

The meeting goes for another ten minutes but it feels almost closer to an hour before you find yourself walking out with Elvis, his arm around your waist pulling you close enough that his nose buries itself in your hair as he murmurs to you. "Ya think he was lyin'? Think it's gonna be that easy for him to get it done that quick?"

"We'll see," you answer as you step into the car, not wanting to crush his hopes just this once, "we'll see."

In hindsight, not telling Elvis might have done more harm than good as you come to realize after the fourth argument in less than two weeks between him and the Colonel. You figure it's about the fact that he wants to be let go from the contract without paying an arm, a leg and Graceland to this man but tonight you realize the real reason. You realize that yes it's partially about that but it's also about you. It's about the skin.

"I told ya we've got it safe. She's keepin' it safe like she's supposed ta. Like ya were supposed ta, ya goddamn toad." Elvis's words are muffled through the door but you don't dare walk in to your shared room just yet. Perhaps it's because you want to spy a little or perhaps you're worried about his mood being taken out on you, not that he's necessarily given you the indication that he ever would do that. Normally he might somehow sense you're on the other side of the door but today he doesn't. It's silent for a moment except for Elvis's breathing and you almost make the move to enter before you hear another yell.

"Jus'- jus' lookin' out for me. That's fuckin' rich. Might've started out that way but keepin' the damn thing away from me damn near killed me. Ya would've fuckin' killed me if she hadn't-" There's a brief pause before he launches back into his tirade again. "No, I don't care that she lied 'bout it. Hell, she was gonna come clean. She- it ain't like 'Cilla, she's it. She's it and I wouldn't've known if she hadn't won it from ya. Jus'- Stop goddamn actin' like ya care. Stop actin' like my daddy."

The slam of the phone makes you jump on the other side of the door and finally has you turning the doorknob to get inside. Elvis is angry, it's clear as day from the tension in his shoulders, the way his chest- his glorious chest- heaves up and down with heavy breaths. It's clear as day and makes you feel surprisingly a little skittish as you walk up to him and place your hand on his shoulder.

"Calm do-" you start to say before stopping yourself, and making it so Elvis turns to face you, "breathe."

There's something fascinating in the way that Elvis relaxes at the request. You've known he doesn't take orders from anyone, truly and that if he doesn't want to do something and it doesn't involve his fans and performing? Oh, he won't do it. He is the quintessential ideal of you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. But this time, in this case he relaxes so quickly that you can't help but smile and move to give him a kiss in a show of thanks.

You open up your mouth to ask him what that was about before he cuts you off, seemingly reading your mind. "I knew he wasn't gonna wanna let me go. Knew he'd hate ya 'cuz even when- even 'fore I knew ya had my skin he wasn't a fan of ya. Made it worse when I took my skin back from ya," your eyes tighten and water at the memory as Elvis continues, "and he told me that it wouldn't be easy. Told me comin' back that bein' wit' ya'd be hard as anythin' 'cuz I wouldn't know if ya wanted me even if ya couldn't control me. Didn't have my leash. And he jus' won't let it go. Won't admit to himself that he ain't gonna have me footin' his gamblin' bill and lifestyle much longer. I- I'm real thankful for everythin' he did but-"

"You want to be free. You want to do what you want with your career." You finish off his thought for him and move to cup his cheek. "You know you're going to get that, right? You know I'm not going to let him drag you back here. We're gonna get you untangled and we'll make plans to go to let you tour and I'll come with you. You'll get to swim in the Northern European waters. Get to swim in the Mediterranean."

Elvis's jaw tightens as he grips your wrist. "Yeah. If I can 'member how t' shift. Mama'd be embarrassed to see me strugglin' this bad."

A laugh, a small little chuckle leaves your lips as you shake your head. "From what I've heard she'd probably be more mad at the Colonel for keeping you from your skin for so long to cause it. You- You're putting too much thought into it."

Elvis hums before moving away from you. "Ya- Baby, Darlin', ya don't get it. Ya my yittle seal wife and ya got a goddamn seal who can't show off. Wanna let ya have me swim beside ya, wanna have ya watch me swim circles 'round ya. Without that- I ain't a very good selkie am I?"

You want to tell him that's not why you're with him. That the skin doesn't mean anything to you. You want Elvis no matter what he is or how his body betrays him. You want him mind, body and soul because he's already captured yours wholeheartedly. It's hard to explain that though, hard to explain that even if he wasn't a seal you'd still have fallen for him. You're so lost in your own thoughts swirling around your head that you miss some of his words and only catch the tail end of his last words.

"Can't have ya leavin' me for someone else."

Your heart threatens to break in two at the implication, at the mere idea of leaving him for someone else. It's never been about the skin even if it might have pushed you two together in ways you're both so very unsure of. It's been about him wiggling his way into your heart through talking and kissing and coming back after he was given back his skin. It doesn't take you a minute before you're practically forcing your way into his arms, your arms wrapping around his torso and pulling him in tight. He needs to feel how your heart beats for him and how you may have never figured you'd fall for him of all the people but God, you have fallen so irrevocably in love with him that there's no turning back. He doesn't speak and doesn't move for a long while before you feel him nuzzling at your hair and hear the inhale of his breath as he murmurs a few words.

"Promise me you won't take home away."

Promise you won't take you away is what he means you think and you can't help but nuzzle into his chest, his chest hair tickling your nose just a little as you whisper back. "They'd have to drag me away."

"I can't do it like this. Ya know how many people are goddamn watchin' from their rooms?" Elvis manages to keep his voice down to not attract more attention but all it does it aggravate you more.

"Do you have a better idea that works? You told me you don't think the bath works and it's not like we can just go off to Lake Mead. There's a finite amount of options, Elvis." You mutter, running your hand across your face. "You want to practice trying to shift and tomorrow's shows are canceled. It's the perfect time to do it."

Elvis hates how nervous he sounds when he speaks again. He's a man who doesn't get embarrassed, who's been in the spotlight for damn near two decades- there's no reason for him to be so shy about this but it's different. Shifting isn't supposed to be done where other people can see it unless he trusts them. Only Jerry and you and maybe some of the Mafia are supposed to see. Family is supposed to see, not fans who want to catch a glimpse of Elvis Presley. "They're gonna see and it's gonna be-"

"It's gonna be what? Elvis, it is 11PM, I don't know who you think is being nosy and looking outside their window but it's just me here. It's just your goddamn seal wife trying to help you shift." Your anger and frustration are starting to get the better of you and you can feel your body heating up the angrier you get. "Just relax, Elvis."

In a flash Elvis is in front of you, his wet hair sticking to the sides of his face and the top of his head. Another time and you'd think this was the most attractive you've seen him for a while but right now all it does is frustrate you. "Can't relax with ya tryin' to yell at me. It's- goddammit, Y/N, ya don't- it's supposed to be easy. Like breathin' for me. And here I am struggling to even get one part of my body to turn the way it should."

Your first instinct is to push back at him, to remind him that you're not trying to yell at him but he's pushing every single one of your buttons and the two of you are far too alike when it comes to that. But you hear the frustration in his voice and the hurt that his body won't cooperate. He's been able to halt the damage caused by not having the skin for so long but he can't seem to reverse this damage. His body is still betraying him even after he gave it the one thing it was missing. Your chest twists a little at the realization as you watch Elvis tread the water with you in the pool. Looking at his face you're reminded of the little boy he must have once been learning how to shift from his mama and in that moment you swear you feel a cold breeze wash over you that has you shivering loud enough for Elvis to pull you close to him.

"Ya alright?" He asks, but there's this pleading edge to it, a desire for you to answer yes even if you're not.

"Just a little wind, E," you answer simply before moving to cup his face. "Did you really think it was going to be that easy to relearn how?"

His face is bashful when he answers and if you weren't still at least a bit frustrated with him you'd have laughed at how it turns him into what feels like a sixteen year old boy in trouble with his mama. "I did. I learned it once from mama. Should be able to 'member how."

A hum leaves your lips as you shake your head. "You also didn't shift for over a decade. You forget things, bury them down when they aren't useful to you any more. Just- breathe, Elvis. Relax and take a deep breath and try again. Picture you and I in Hawai‘i when this is all over. You swimming around me, nuzzling at me. Showing everyone I'm yours."

The pair of you shut your eyes together, just swimming next to one another, treading the water and breathing until you hear a splash that has your eyes shooting open. The pool is darker than you'd like but you had been able to see Elvis up until now. Your breath quickens as you quietly call out his name. You can't see him and there was that splash and the panic threatens to wrap around you before you feel a nudge against your leg. You feel a large nudge that's only able to be done by something not human against your leg and you look down to see what looks like a seal in the water. The only response that comes to mind is a squeal as you see him, delight overwhelming you before Elvis manages to peek his head above the water. The bark he makes at you sounds so much like his laughter that you can't help but laugh and pull him into a hug, ignoring just how slippery he is.

He shifts back quicker than you think he'd like but it's progress. It's a step in the right direction.

You were right about Aiden not being able to make it so Elvis didn't have to go on the tour and Elvis's reaction isn't pretty to say the least. He keeps himself in check purely because you're there reminding him that Aiden is trying and it's just one more tour. It's just one more grueling tour before he can take easier ones. Before he can take his time spending days at a time in cities if he wants. The reminder helps but once you're back to the hotel and the Colonel is knocking on the door you know what you're destined to deal with is Elvis's anger and depression over the matter. You have pressing issues you have to attend to and it's the only reason you don't stay up there during the meeting and why Elvis doesn't press.

Two hours later and you enter a dark room with Elvis reading something in the low light of a lamp by the bed. Any other time and you'd slink out of your clothes and climb in next to him but you choose to remain in your clothes and sit on the edge of the bed. "That bad?"

"That bad," he answers simply, turning a page with pursed lips. "Ain't gonna get a wink of sleep. Added one more date to make up for my foolishness and- I jus' wish ya were comin'. Know ya can't 'cuz there ain't a damn thing in our life that can be easy but- ya'd have made it better. Made it easier to handle. Ya gotta make him work harder, darlin'. Can't do another season like this. I gotta get outta here."

The aggravation and hurt seep into your voice despite your best efforts. You've known Elvis expects a lot from the people he cares about but you've been trying harder than anyone else to make sure he can run free. To make sure he can swim whenever and wherever he wants. You're the one in charge of his skin, you're his seal wife and he's damn near treating you like an actual one. "E, you don't think that's what I've been trying' to do? That's all I want for you. I don't want you tied down like you have been. I don't think you have many years left in you if you are. You need to be able to get out of this city permanently. Sure, you can come back if you want but not- you need to not be tied down and be forced to come back year after year. You deserve freedom."

Freedom to do whatever even if it means running off from you and finding someone who doesn't know about him being a seal. Who he can count on being in love with him without a skin binding them together. You don't necessarily want to be his legal wife but getting called his yittle seal wife hurts sometimes. As if all you're there for it to be another bodyguard for Elvis Presley. "I'm trying."

Elvis looks up from his book and notes the hurt on your face before setting it down on the nightstand and opening up his arms as a hint for you to cuddle up to him. When you do he presses a kiss to your temple. "'m just angry, darlin'. Keep havin' things get in our way and I- I felt like this with 'Cilla. Felt so in love and I don't feel like losin' that again. Wanna make a life wit' ya. Travel the world. Have ya meet my lil pup." His words trail off as he moves his hand down to your torso, not saying another word for a moment. "Wanna build a life that we can both enjoy, ya know? Don't wanna push ya away. Don't wanna- I jus' want things to be a lil easier for us. Ain't we been through enough already? Jus' need a break from God. Been askin' him for one."

You're not nearly as religious as Elvis but you've been praying for God to do it too. He deserves it and you like to think you do too. It's a simple request that just hasn't been fulfilled yet. You bite your lip before you speak. "Maybe it's coming soon. It's like your shifting, Elvis. Just give it time."

"Darlin', like ya said, I ain't sure I got a lot of that left."

It's funny how something about that night changes things. He goes on tour and gives brilliant performances and you hear about the articles and the reporters talking about how he's more invigorating than he has been in years and it fills you with warmth. He's showing off the man you fell for. The man who has all the energy in the world for his fans on the stage and off it. He's a man with a new outlook on life and it does something to you. It reminds you that all this is going to be for naught if he has to come back her to wilt. Aiden is more a little terrified of you after the second time you come by in less than a week, demanding an update better than he's working on it.

A judge has to get involved and you have to get Elvis's permission to use funds to keep things hush hush and out of the papers. This is a private matter for now, it doesn't need to be plastered everywhere, tarnishing his reputation and tarnishing the goodwill he's receiving. The judge as it turns out takes one look at the contract and the circumstances surrounding it and throws it out. Doesn't make the Colonel pay anything back and lets him keep small residuals of Elvis's income- a fact you're not a fan of but will concede to just as much as Elvis does. But they free him.

Elvis has to get a new manager and asks Jerry to step in at least for a little bit, just to smooth over a transition unless he wants to balance him and the Beach Boys. Jerry does and it's- it works better than you think it will as you watch the two men work together with an ease you almost envy. A world tour is planned faster than you think was possible until Jerry tells you everyone's had it in their back pocket without Elvis knowing. They only realized it might become a reality when they saw how you and him interacted. They saw a hope that they thought was gone for good.

The first night at Graceland is calmer than you think it would be and you find yourself against Elvis's chest, playing with his chest hair as you both bask in an afterglow that rivals the best of shows or the best of poker hands. Elvis voice rumbles in his chest as he speaks. "Finally get to do what I want when I want. Think it's gonna get easier now?"

"Maybe," you murmur, kissing his chest. "But, there's a quote, I think, that goes something like nothing worthwhile in life is easy. And I like to think all of this qualifies. Figure you and I do too." You pause. "I wouldn't complain if it did get easier though. It's been an exhausting time."

"Mhmm," Elvis hums, "think we oughta take a vacation after the new tour. One where I don't work. Hawai‘i and the two of us with Cilla and Lisa sounds-"

You cut him off with a kiss. "Sounds like perfection and like the easiest thing in life for us to do. Four months traveling the globe and stopping there for another month."

The smile that crosses his face is brighter than any sun and you can't help but smile back. "That- That's why you're the perfect seal wife for me. Goddamn brilliant woman."

"Goddamn charming seal." You quip back before he lets out an mock offended gasp and rolls on top of you as you both laugh until you're breathless.

It might not have been easy but it's worth it.

[cosmicoceanfic]

3 and 20 for the fic writers ask

Thank you!

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

This is tricky because I would play fast and loose with how I define a fic. To me, I would categorize my Revenant series (Darth Vader finds out about the twins right after New Hope and immediately defects about it) from the first fic to the end of the main arc with the Return of the Jedi story as One Big Fic. I know, technically, it isn’t, and I would be willing to quibble down to components about what story within that fic I like best, but to me, the main arc of Revenant is One Thing, and my gut impulse is to say that my answer is the main arc of Revenant. However, if I were obeying the letter of the law, probably “favorite singularity”, my Doctor Who Thasmin AU after Timeless Child. I think it’s the best paced, fairly in character, and probably the best I’ve handled an ensemble cast. The more people you add to a story the more I struggle under the weight of it, but I think everybody in the core ensemble of that fic gets time to talk, and what they have to say is mostly worthwhile. The sequel to favorite singularity, “if not for you”, was fun to write and I don’t think it’s bad, but it’s way more fanservicey and self indulgent than I tend to get in a piece, and I think I can justify just about everything that goes on in favorite singularity.

20: What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written?

Fuck, this is such a great question. God. It’s not one of the ones I made up myself. I write funny titles sometimes because it’s what the story calls for, but the funny titles never hold up to me (which, granted, may be because I’ve seen them a billion times by now). The best ones I’ve got off the top of my head are “mistreat your altar boys long enough and this is what you get” or “you’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loved you”, both from Revenant. Cry for Judas, which the former title is for, has Anakin Skywalker vibes to me, and I think it fits the tenor of that entry particularly well. Silver Springs, the latter title, is an all time favorite song of mine, but the title for that entry is crucial, because it was listening to that song and hearing that lyric that birthed that whole particular story for me. If I hadn’t been listening to Silver Springs in that moment, that story would not exist. Both are pretty tied, but I guess if I had to pick one, I would give it to “you’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loved you”, just because it really felt like divine inspiration when that story hit, and I love it when that happens.

Thanks for the ask! This was fun.

[tortoisesshells]

For the Uncommon questions for OCs: 12, 35, 43, and B (if you’re willing)

12. How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

Fantasize about bitching about it, and then ignore it until something distracts her long enough to forget about it.

35. How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

I don't think Nellie Treat is really most people's first port of call when something cool or exciting happens, but she tries to love what the people around her love, even when she doesn't get it.

In the case of not getting it, she'll at least try to figure it out for herself, on her own time and terms, which I do think can read as coolness or disinterest to people who don't know her well (and even to those who do know her well, at times!) - she's concerned with not appearing foolish or uneducated or like she's making demands of people, asking them to explain themselves.

43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

Serviceable. Vaguely puzzling by comparison to her observations of other people's varied sexual orientations, but not ultimately getting too much in the way of things.

B) What inspired you to create them?

There's a post that occasionally makes the rounds along the lines of Jimothy "is an Austen hero in a theme park ride movie" and I had notes about it - for me, the appeal of the character is that he does do quite a lot wrong, moral compass is pretty well shaky, but sure, I can work with (quoting P&P) him having been "given good principles*, but left to follow them in pride and conceit." as one particular manifestation of his larger character flaws.

In that vein, Elinor Coggeshall Treat came out of a vaguely Austen-heroine-shaped space in the narrative. Nellie owes no small amount of her original DNA to Elinor Dashwood (responsible older sibling to a younger sister, Mary/Marianne, emotionally locked-down, relentlessly practical, I even stole borrowed the name!), and especially in the first part of Customs, there's a lot of parlor drama (probably too much, for 1730s Boston, but ludicrous AU of a Disney Theme Park Ride Movie, I'm allowed to play a little fast and loose at times) & it's Nellie's ability to navigate it that counts towards her narrative survival. Still, she's not really that much of an Austen heroine - she's older, more established & isn't looking to (re)marry unless personally inclined to do so; she's also running a smuggling operation for reasons which include "greater profits" "it (the Molasses Act) isn't even good law" and "fuck this guy". Obviously the latter reason she comes to have some. uh. conflicted feelings about.

*: I don't actually think his principles are that good, but for the sake of argument, here: a person who has the ability to be good and even shows glimmers of it at times, but has so thoroughly twisted up (I would say entwined but people will throw things at me) his sense of self in his office that he will almost always default to what he believes he ought to do as the King's man, or what he is outright ordered to do even if he appears to personally disagree with it.

Uncommon Questions for OCs