#you can learn so much about salem that you never needed to know
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okay fun fact. i have a very accommodating and patient DM and for our one (1) campaign i have played 4 different characters AND they all have some sort of ran away from a previous relationship drama in their backstory.
i think there's a theme. because i can't help my self, little blurbs about them.
felicitous: dragonborn fiend warlock. switched from him because our party got TPK'd and my DM was like... you could just change classes and i was like. no no it's okay i have another character. but funny thing about feli is that he's my character that 1) faked his own death to get out of marrying his childhood sweetheart 2) not only faked his death but made a pact with some sort of demon 3) the faked death was literally an explosion at his family home. dramatic.
tazskan celdes: dragonborn paladin, oath of ancients. worshiper of milil, lover of poetry. he's the childhood sweetheart feli faked his death to get away from. he ended up having a brief fling with the tabaxi in our party (who's player i uh. kind of? dated? for a little bit). so taz got axed when i broke up with them because it was just too fucking awkward.
light where briars bloom (briar): tabaxi twilight cleric of ilmater. my wonderful he/him lesbian who's name was stolen from a character in warrior cats that i adored (briarlight). i originally had him as like a 30 yr old weirdo but as i played him i was like. guys. what age does briar seem. and everyone answered way too quickly. 18. 19. 20. and i was like. okay. lemme. rework that. anyway. briar started out as a cleric/fighter but then he got like. 5 near death experiences in a row and i was like. eli can i reclass him to full cleric because he thinks he's like the second coming of christ. and eli was like. okay yea. then shortly after i had briar have a crisis of faith over hurting people and he went home to his dads in waterdeep.
and finally salem vulfrik my beloved. scourge aasimar path of the beast barbarian. he transforms into a werehyena when he rages. he has zhentarim connections. his family was killed while he was out finding himself when he was about 18/19 and he has such intense survivor's guilt over that 30-ish yrs later that he has never processed or looked at. he had a four siblings. one of them a twin.
he had a complete spiral in his late 20s and knocked someone up and then fled neverwinter when they tried to baby trap him. his introduction to the current party was him getting attacked by a magical tree. he died and had a dream his family was calling to him and forgot his twin's name.
he watched the guy he has a crush on (frederick) get eaten by an aboleth and literally went inside the aboleth to get his body because he's train of thought was. the party can fix him. he then paid a planetar to resurrect frederick. he has not told frederick this. he asked frederick to scry on his ex because he's afraid cultists might be trying to hurt his kid (that he knows nothing about). he's the worst kind of mess.
he's trying to be better but it doesn't come natural.
he bought our party wizard/warlock, maeve, a new hat because it got destroyed in a fight and it was his way of coping and being like. she's not actually dead she can't be i have to give her this hat. he sees the druid, yera, as a surrogate sister but would die before admitting that.
he's 43 years old.
he's my babygirl.
#.asks#there is some word vomit under that read more#you can learn so much about salem that you never needed to know
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i love finding out how big this world is. my girlfriend has only visited boston a handful of times, but i grew up here. i told her we'd be going to do the tourist traps in salem, and she said - which salem?
to be fair to her, there are a lot of other states that have a town named "salem." and i think there's some evidence that the witch trials actually happened in what is now called Danvers. but the thing is - she thought "salem" was like, a made-up thing. there wasn't actually a salem, massachusetts - like there isn't a gotham city.
they don't talk about it that much where she grew up, is the thing! and this made me laugh. a week ago she was talking about her hometown and said something akin to "well the museum's kinda like the one in richmond," and i had to explain i still had no frame of reference for what the hell this museum was like.
i love finding out what knowledge i take for granted. i used to live with 5 other women. 3 of them were from south korea. they had to take, like, a solid fifteen minutes to explain their birthday system to my gay math-blind ass, laughing as they did.
that same month, our roommate from denmark taught me the danish word for wreath by accident - she'd been talking about decorations, used krans, and i'd been able to figure it out through context. i just picked it up and kept talking. our entire house used krans as the word. she came home and slammed the door one evening, mock-angry, shouting: you motherfuckers! it's a - a wreath!
and how often do you use certain words, anyway! i am cuban, so i was raised with certain spanish words sort of sprinkled in there; but never how you'd think. in middle school i asked someone to pass me the recogedor - in a completely american accent, like i was speaking english. i hadn't registered it as a spanish word. i mean, how often in school do you actually use the word "dustpan" - i'd only ever heard it in the context of cleaning my house.
there are places that you grew up that you, just, like, know. that you assume everyone knows. there are things and people and "common knowledge" that you have that, just, like. doesn't exist for me. i don't know what you call your public transportation system, but in boston we call it "the T". our train cards are called charlie cards because of a song where a father accidentally abandons his family, which was written because our system of transportation. in boston, most people would snort and say everyone knows that, kid.
i think you and i should go on a long walk - it's getting dark early these days and we need any sun we can manage. tell me about the first time you saw snow. tell me about the stuff everyone knows about your home. tell me about the cities "everyone's been to," about the food "everyone's already tried." who knows. maybe it will feel nice to you - watching someone learn about it for the very first time.
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Just Pretend-sixteen
*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*
Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader
Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.
Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.
Authors Note: Please listen to Eyelids by PVRIS during this chapter. Thank you very much.
Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)
Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @koskeepsake @bngurngheart @shilohrosechicken @emzandthevoid
READER
With the notebook in my lap, as I sat cross-legged on my bed with Salem curled up next to me, purring away, I watched intently my laptop screen. My heart pounded so hard in my chest it made it hard to breathe. Noah and Jolly were currently performing a live stream on Veeps and from the moment I clicked on the video, I couldn’t stop staring; with his long hair cascading down his face in perfect waves. His face stone with concentration but yet soft with the features I loved.
“Do you think he’ll mess up like the last stream he did?” I asked Salem while scratching his belly.
Noah’s voice was something extremely distinctive, not just anyone could hold a tune or lit a candle to how he sounded. The way he effortlessly went through every emotion in his body. I looked at Noah as he was pretty still, with thick hair and soft eyes, and he swayed so gracefully that it almost seemed as though he was gliding. I’ve seen beautiful men before; men who caught my eye, but to my mind, they usually lacked the traits I found most desirable. Traits like intelligence, confidence, strength of spirit, passion, traits that inspired others to greatness, traits I aspired to myself, all the traits he had.
I hung off the cliff for Noah for a long time until recently, when I fell to the depths below.
It sparked something in me as I watched Jolly and Noah’s performance. I wanted to do something like this too; to showcase my real voice. I was better without Trey; the band was better. Trey wasn’t the end-all, and I wanted to prove it further. I understood the fans; I knew their positions; I understood their inner turmoil and their panic. Change is actually horrific under some circumstances, not all, but surely a few. This one was big.
Hollow Souls was never supposed to be a 3 piece. Hell, we didn’t even have a guitar player and our tech had to fill in when we recorded My House. Which is why I was learning how to play guitar so I could take Trey’s place. A lot of change within a few months and while it was scary, it was also exciting. But that didn’t stop me from questioning once again if we needed another person. What if I wasn’t strong enough to do this alone? Just the three of us?
What the hell were you worried about, angel?
I was thinking so heavily about what Noah texted me. He was proud of me. Of me! And my friends. That woke me up, he always could. I wanted to grab my phone to call him, and ask him for more reassurance. Our 2:30 conversations were slim and in between and I was struggling with that. I didn’t want to push my luck; he had Bailey.
Bailey.
Bailey.
I rolled my eyes, at the memories of the party. Ridiculous. I was tiptoeing around Noah; I knew if I called him I’d so desperately try to stay on the line. But what if she showed? It was killing me.
Therefore, I was hesitant to perform Eyelids; I was worried Noah’s reaction would warrant further frustration, considering he was in the arms of someone else. I couldn’t handle it because it fucking hurt seeing him with her. I wanted Noah to myself, as selfish as that sounded. I could only hope that in the discovery of my lyrics, he’ll at least know I meant everything we did and said that whole tour, meeting him changed my life for the better; before I hurt him.
I miss him and I only wished I was in his arms.
As the livestream ended, I smiled warmly as Noah and Jolly waved goodbye at the camera and then tried to focus my attention on the paper in my lap.
Amongst the idea of our own live stream, I couldn’t help but want more out of me. It was small; it was something just dying to purge out. However, the more I looked at the lyrics on paper, the more it didn’t fit; it wasn’t me. It was as if these lyrics were meant for someone else.
Letting out a deep breath, I sang a harmony I thought would fit with the lyrics. “Evened the scores, then I let it all go fall apart. And every step forward put a little more sword in your heart, yeah. Looking sideways when I say I’m okay with the past but I’m afraid of what I might say if you ask.”
The more I read it, over and over. It was good; I’ll say that. But, surely it didn’t belong to me. I could feel that. But I didn’t give up yet. I wrote another verse, hoping this one would speak more of me.
“I did it to myself, tried to be someone else. I let it tear me down, and I'll never be the same. I did it to myself and tried to be someone else. And you didn't notice 'til I finally got, finally got away.”
Fuck, even singing these lyrics didn’t feel right. My heart knew that this didn’t belong to me, it was meant for someone else.
Making a rash decision, I pulled out my phone and clicked on the name I needed help from.
“Hello?”
I perked up at the accent immediately. “Jolly! Hey, it's me. Y/N.”
A light chuckle echoed in my ear. “I know who it is, doll, I have caller ID.”
“Ok don’t be smart,” I teased.
“Sorry,” he laughs, “What do I owe the pleasure?”
I bit my lip, wondering how he would take my idea. It sounded rash in my head but if anyone were to listen to my idea; it was Jolly.
“I have something to run by you. Well, actually a few things.”
NOAH
My knee bounced as I sat in my chair, phone gripped tightly in my hand, as I glanced at the clock on my computer.
2:28.
It has been almost a week now since our last 2:30 call and the last one was short as she was running around Japan with her dad. Things were awkward to say the least at the party the other night and I wanted to make sure that things between us were still good.
Good? What’s considered good anymore? You’re dating someone else, dumbass.
Ignoring the voice in my mind, I let out a deep breath before clicking on Y/N’s name; the ringing echoing loudly in my quiet room. It rang and rang and rang. It went on like this for a few more times until, eventually; I hung up the call with a groan. But I wasn’t ready to give up yet and I typed out a quick message to Malcolm.
ME: Is Y/N around? I tried calling her.
Malcolm: Yeah, she’s been in the shower. Has been in there for a while- too long, maybe shaving or some shit. I’ll have her call you.
An audible, deep groan, fell from my lips as I leaned my head back against the headrest of my chair when the thought of Y/N in the shower.
Naked, water, and soap ran down every inch of her unholy skin.
“Shit,” I cursed when my dick twitched in my sweats.
“Noah.”
Y/N’s voice rang in my ear as my eyes fluttered shut, hands in fists on my thighs. My vision was so vivid as if I was in the shower with her, our wet skin ablaze as I wrapped my arms around her from behind to bury my face into the crook of her neck.
“Angel,” I breathed while my palm pressed against my hard cock in my sweats.
My hips raised from the chair as a moan crawled out of my throat, my hand now all but ripping out my dripping cock from my pants. It was red and thick with the mere thought of Y/N in the shower. Gripping it between my fingers, I slowly pumped up and down, thumb grazing over the pre-cum that leaked out from the slit and circled it around the head of my cock.
“Noah, I need you.”
Her name fell from my lips as a prayer while I leaned farther back into my chair as my hand worked faster, the grip around myself tightened as the orgasm buzzed in my lower stomach. The burn felt so good but it wasn’t enough; I needed something else to help me over the edge.
I pulled the extra skin down tight, cock standing straight up in my hand, as I let out a strangled breath. My orgasm was right there, but I wanted to edge myself longer; I didn’t want this vision to end.
Y/N rubbed the soap over every inch of her skin, her fingers teasing over her nipples as he head fell back, water spraying into her mouth.
But after that vision, another one came to mind which made my hand work in faster strokes. Y/N on top of me with her hands gripping my braids as her mouth fell slack with ecstasy. I consistently became a time traveler of that night, the night she rode me into oblivion. A night I’ll surely never forget. Even in these moments, my mind goes there.
“Fuck. Shit.” I cursed as a shock shot from the base of my spine to the top when my body went stiff, orgasm so close to destroying me.
I jerked when my phone buzzed against the computer desk so I stopped my actions but kept my grip tight on my aching cock to realize Bailey was calling me.
Ignore.
With my phone still in my hand, I quickly went to my photos and clicked on one of my favorite pictures of Y/N; from the day we spent on the beach. She was staring straight out into the water, a small smile playing on her sweet, plump lips.
Fuck, I wished those lips were strangled around my cock.
Once the phone was set up directly in front of me, I leaned back into my chair again and worked my hand in fast short strokes, the orgasm once again burning low in my belly.
“Noah.” Y/N’s voice echoed in my mind again.
“Shit, angel. I’m gonna-fuck,” I groaned low, the noise barely audible as it crawled out of my throat when my release finally washed over me.
Cum shot all over my hand and onto my pants but none of that mattered; my dark eyes were stuck on the picture on the screen. Until a different picture appeared which had me cursing and wiping my cum covered hand on my pants before tucking myself back into my pants. Just a simple phone call from her had my dick aching again.
With a few steady breaths, I ran my clean hand through my hair before answering the FaceTime call; Y/N’s bright smile warming my heart.
“Hi Mochi! I didn’t mean to miss your call. I was in the shower.”
She was sitting on her bed, water still dripping from her wet hair, and internally I groaned when the same thoughts as earlier came creeping back into my mind.
“Oh yeah? You-uh-feeling clean?” I flushed while shifting in my chair.
“Well, yeah,” she chuckled. “That’s what a shower is. Water, soap.”
Naked, I know the drill.
I cleared my throat. “Right. Anyway, can you talk or is this a bad time?”
“Actually, I was going to send this in the group chat but since I have you on the phone, I figured now would be the best time.”
I raised a brow as my heart pounded widely in my chest, wondering what she was going to say.
“Veeps offered Hollow Souls to do a stream as well! So I wanted to make sure you were free to watch it, maybe? Totally fine if you can’t, I know you might be busy with-.”
“I’ll watch it,” I rushed out, not missing a beat. “What time?”
“Oh, in about 2 hours?” She bit her lip, hopeful I’d say yes.
My dick throbbed as memories of moments before her phone call replayed in my mind. “I’ll have the tv on standby downstairs, angel. We wouldn’t miss that shit for anything.”
Y/N smiled brightly as she brought Salem into view of her phone, his green eyes staring directly into my soul. “Salem thanks you for the support.”
“I miss him, we really bonded while you were gone,” I smiled a bit.
“Well, you can come by anytime to hang out with him; or me,” Y/N added the last bit slyly.
“Count me in, angel.”
READER
Once dressed, almost ready for the live stream, I was rummaging through my sock drawer to find a pair of socks when my fingers brushed against something soft. My brow raised as I pulled out two small velvet boxes, my mind immediately going back to my birthday.
Biting the inside of my cheek, I opened the box, and a gasp left my lips as the silver necklace and matching bracelet shined under the light of the room. It wasn't anything over the top and there were no diamonds but that didn't matter to me. I wasn't one for over-the-top jewelry, this simple chain and bracelet were enough.
With wet eyes, I gazed up at Noah, who had a nervous look on his face as he fiddled with his wooden rosary. "Do you like it?"
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into my embrace, burying my face into his neck. "I love it, Noah. Thank you so much."
With the haste of break up, the end of the tour, the move, and everything that happened between Noah and me, I almost forgot about the jewelry. I've stared at this bracelet and this fucking necklace for a while now. To think I had almost forgotten it, I shook my head at the thought. I couldn’t, things that were meant for us to find their way back. Well; at least that’s what I told myself. I yearned for him, his comfort, his gaze. I didn’t plan on falling in love with him. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. I gasped when I realized what that burning feeling in my heart took over my entire existence each time I thought of him or saw him.
I love Noah.
I nearly stumbled on my feet as a breath fell from my lips again. “It’s too late now.”
With shaky hands, I opened the box, my heart skipping a beat. It still took my breath away as I opened the box, clasping on the necklace first then the bracelet.
“I have to admit, Salem” I turned towards the mirror in my room so I could stare at my reflection while the cat sat on my vanity. “Noah did pretty well.”
There was a knock on my open door, and I gave a small smile towards Jolly. “Hey.”
“Almost ready?” He asked.
“Yep.”
He then taped a finger to his neckline twice. “That’s a nice necklace. Who gave you that?”
“It was a birthday gift,” I shrugged nonchalantly.
The corner of Jolly’s mouth turned up in a grin. “That’s not what I asked.”
Ignoring his comment, I slid into my slippers and led him out of my room down to the dining room where we set up earlier.
Jolly first arrived a few hours ago for our daily lessons before helping me set up the stream. After I watched theirs almost a week ago, I asked Jolly if he could come over to help me with my stream. I couldn’t play guitar but we could practice the two songs I wanted to perform.
Chase and Malcolm asked if I needed them for this but I could tell they already had plans. Even though this was a Hollow Souls set, it was more of an acoustic version so Chase on drums and Malcolm on bass wasn’t needed; hence why I asked Jolly to help. First off, who else was better to teach me how to play guitar than him? I knew the basics, but he was helping me hone in on my skills. Second, I needed to talk to him about something important.
As I finished making things were in order, Jolly sat on his chair to strum the first few notes of If I’m There on his guitar.
“Feel comfortable enough?” He wondered.
I nodded while looking at the laptop to make sure the stream was ready; all I had to do was hit the live button.
“Yep. We’ve been practicing every day. It helps I have a great teacher,” I beamed at him. “Thanks for this, Jolly. I didn’t know who else to ask and I know you’re Noah’s friend first.”
Jolly shrugged. “You’re my friend as well, doll. I help my friends and that’s something Noah knows and understands.”
Silence fell between us for a long moment until he hesitated.
“How did you feel about our new single, honestly?”
My shoulders went rigid for a second before I shrugged. “I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?”
“Y/N don’t take this the wrong way, but you can’t be that dense. You know it was about you, right?” Jolly asked.
“I-,” The words died in my throat.
Jolly raised a brow. “Yeah, so tell me. How do you feel about it?”
“Are you my shrink now?” I crossed my arms over my chest, one last ditch effort at shielding myself from admitting the truth.
“No, a friend,” he sighed while setting down the guitar.
Defeated, I fell into the chair with a groan. “I-I feel sad. Noah must fucking hate me.”
“I assure you, he doesn’t,” Jolly said.
“How can you be so sure, Jolly? He went and found someone else. He’s clearly writing how he feels too. I hate feeling like this.” I sat with my hands folded in my lap as I chipped away at the nail polish.
“So talk to him, because I can tell you right now, Noah’s not head over heels for this girl. I think you know deep down what he’s trying to do.”
I refused to meet his gaze as I shook my head. “I don’t know what you mean. I can’t-he seems happy.”
“Y/N,” Jolly sighed. “He’s not happy unless he’s with you.”
“Then he needs to tell me that,” my eyes snapped up towards him. “I was going to express some things I’ve discovered but-.”
Jolly raised his brows. “Discovered what?”
For a split second, I thought about telling him but decided against it. “It doesn’t matter, I can’t mess anything up for him. I need Noah to need me. It works both ways, Jolly.”
“Y/N you’re not understanding you’ve got it all wrong-.”
“Can we move on, please? It hurts enough to think about him with someone else the last fucking thing I want to do is talk about them,” I let out a shaky breath as my bottom lip wobbled.
Jolly gave me a weak smile. “Sure thing, doll. Did you want to go live?”
“Actually,” I bit my lip before reaching over to the table to grab a piece of paper. “There’s something I want to run by you.”
When he nodded, I handed Jolly the paper. “I wrote it about Trey but the thought of recording it scares me. It’s deeper than what I typically write and it's not me. I thought about selling it but that didn’t feel right.”
I watched intently as Jolly read the lyrics, his eyes taking in every inch of the page, the smile on his lips growing with each pass.
“Doll, this is,” he shook his head. “Amazing. Are you sure?”
Our eyes locked as I nodded. “It’s not a Hollow Souls song. But Bad Omens on the other hand, I know you guys can give it the justice it deserves.”
NOAH
“SHUT UP!” I bellowed while tossing a pillow towards Jesse, who was talking extensively to Orie about some shit that didn’t matter. “The live stream is about to start.”
Jesse caught the pillow mid-throw and smirked. “Excited, are we?”
Flipping him off, I sat on the couch with a beer in one hand and my phone in the other, sending another text to Jolly. He’d been M.I. A all day, and we were wondering if he was going to join.
“Has anyone heard from Jolly?” I asked.
Orie shrugged. “I thought he was in his room.”
“We went to lunch earlier,” Michael said while walking into the living room, bowl full of random snacks in his hands before he set them on the coffee table. “But he said he had some things to take care of afterward.”
Just then the stream began and Y/N’s soft voice echoed through the speakers.
“Shit, are we live? Wait, I probably shouldn’t swear on this.”
We all shared a laugh until we saw who was sitting next to her.
“Hi everyone! It’s Y/N from Hollow Souls. You might have noticed that I have a friend here with me today,” Y/N adjusted the headphones before she motioned to Jolly who sat on her left. “Jolly from Bad Omens.”
Jolly waved to the camera. “Hi.”
“I guess that’s what his errand was,” Jesse said while throwing some popcorn in his mouth.
Ignoring him, I wondered why Jolly was with Y/N right now. I wasn’t jealous he was with her. I was jealous that I wasn’t there instead. She looked breathtaking with her long hair pulled back in a tight bun to showcase the sharp features of her face, her plump lips glistening with the lip gloss she must have applied before the stream started. Her bright eyes shined with the excitement of what she was about to perform which in turn made me sit up straighter in my spot on the couch, a proud smile on my face.
“So, the reason Malcolm and Chase aren’t here is because this set is more of an acoustic one. I recently saw some friends of mine do something like this and wanted to try it,” she smiled over to Jolly.
“I’m here for moral support,” Jolly said.
“He’s actually been teaching me guitar the last week because I wanted to do more for this band since we kicked Trey out,” Y/N revealed.
At the mention of his name, I felt my face twitch but kept it as stone as I could, not wanting to give anything away to the rest of the guys. They were the only three of the entire group that didn’t know the truth about Y/N’s relationship with Trey.
“Did you know Jolly was teaching her guitar?” Jesse asked me.
I shook my head while running a hand through my hair. “I had no idea she wanted to learn. I mean, I knew they had to figure out a guitarist moving forward but didn’t know she wanted to play.”
“She didn’t ask you?” Orie wondered.
I shrugged, wondering the same but did my best not to dwell on it as I went back to watching the feed.
“So, I’m going to sing two songs for you guys today. The first one is a cover, and the second is something new. It’s nowhere near ready for release but it’s been weighing heavy on my heart the last few weeks since I wrote it.”
Y/N adjusted her headphones before glancing over to her laptop. “Woah, the chat is going crazy you’re here, Jolly.”
He hummed in amusement while tuning the guitar. “What are they saying?”
“Where’s Noah? When is the collab with Bad Omens coming?”
Y/N snickered before looking back at the camera, giving a wink. “I don’t know. Noah has my number.”
Quickly pulling out my phone, I pulled up the stream to add something to the chat.
“Oh, look who joined the chat. Jolly, Noah is wondering if you could bring pizza home,” Y/N laughed as she read my comment.
I chuckled to myself as we saw Jolly roll his eyes. Then Y/N read my next comment, her cheeks flushing red; something others might not have noticed. But I did. I watched and analyzed everything she did with a careful eye.
The comment I sent in the chat was something simple; something only a few of us would understand.
We can talk about the collab during our next phone call.
She shifted in her chair, a hint of a smile on her face. “Well, my first song might sound familiar to a lot of you. It’s my first time performing it but unlike Noah did last week, I won’t mess up the words.”
Jolly broke out in laughter before playing the opening notes of the song; one I recognized immediately even though I knew which one she meant before Jolly played the first few notes of the song. There was only one song I messed up on a livestream recently. If I’m There.
Her beautiful voice stung deep into my veins as I fell back on the couch.
“Oh. Shit,” Orie spoke. “No offense, man, but Y/N kills your lyrics.”
I nodded, numbly as I agreed with him. It was as if my lyrics were made for her voice, the sultry tone of it sending chills all over my body. She gripped the microphone with a soft touch and my cock twitched as I remembered earlier up in my bedroom.
As she got to the verse I messed up on my own livestream, Y/N’s eyes opened to throw a quick wink and smirk toward the camera when she sang it perfectly; almost annoyingly perfect.
I felt a pair of eyes burning into the side of my head and briefly tearing my gaze away from the television; I shot Jesse a look.
“What?”
He pursed his lips while shaking his head. “You haven’t stopped smiling since she came on the screen. You look like a kid that was given free rein in a candy store.”
Rolling my eyes, I focused back to Y/N just in time as she sang the last two lines of the song.
“And if you're there to catch me when I fall then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all,” she breathed before pushing away the microphone from her a tad.
Shit.
This was different than Hollow Souls. The softness of the song was fucking made for Y/N and something she needed to do more of.
“Fuck yes,” she beamed but then smacked a hand over her face. “Sorry, didn’t mean to swear. I’ll add it to the jar Malcolm has on top of the fridge.”
“He doesn’t?” Michael chucked.
I nodded while taking a long drink of my beer. “He does. I saw it when I was there taking care of Salem. Thing is empty but fuck is in their everyday vocabulary so you know they’re not adding to that shit.”
Noticing she was reading the comments once again, I quickly typed out one.
Great job, Y/N! Feel free to cover any of our songs. I’d always watch it with a proud smile.
Even though she didn’t say she read it, I knew she did with the way the corner of her lip raised and the way her eyes crinkled at the sides.
“Alright, the last song is a new one. We do plan on having it on the next record but it will sound different from what you’ll hear right now. My friends, thank you for watching. This one is called Eyelids.”
This had me sitting on the edge of the couch, elbows on my knees, as excitement filled me.
“I'll face my fear of the evening once I get used to this feeling. I can't sleep. That's when you're torn away from me. While I'm dreaming I feel you leaving.”
My jaw fell slack, hearing the rawness in her voice with the pure emotion being poured out of her soul.
"I'll face my fear of the sunrise when I wake up with your hand inside mine. It's hard to say good morning when it's followed with goodbye. Just wanted to say good night.”
Something glinted on the screen, which immediately took my gaze away from her face down to her neck, my heart and breath catching in my throat. I remained silent as my body leaned closer to the television.
“What are you doing, man? Did you forget your glasses?” Michael joked.
His voice was a white noise as I moved from my spot on the couch to the coffee table, now sitting directly in front of the screen.
What the fuck?
Is that?
I inched closer and closer to that television, I couldn’t hear what was being said to me as I scrunched my face up and began squinting.
No, it can’t be.
“Our eyes fighting the light but I'm not ready to say good night, ooh. I try and hold on tight 'cause it's just not time to say good night. Say good night.”
It hung almost a little well above her cleavage, that beautiful silky neck- my eyes moved quickly to her wrists.
“Let me see,” I muttered under my breath.
I made an inaudible sound from my throat, mouth peering a little open.
She was wearing them; both of them. My heart raced even further, longer, more rapidly.
I was feeling a lot of things at once; I didn’t quite know how to place them. I needed a beer. I needed to talk to my shrink. That’s what I should do, because the panic was setting in, this ache was almost unbearable.
Why, why would she want to wear them after everything? Even now?
I’m hurting her right back, aren’t I?
Everything has become a puddle of mud, a mess of my volition now. I did this. All I could think while seeing the jewelry I gifted her, all I could hear while listening to her voice was “Maybe, just maybe I’ll come back to you.”
She was occupied by her own complicated thoughts - you could tell from the way she was squinting and moving her mouth.
Maybe I was imagining things. Maybe until-.
“I'll face my fear of the cold nights when you leave me behind. I felt your hands in my hair. I felt your breath on my neck. Yeah, I need to feel you again. Just wanted to say good night.”
My body went still, all the air taken from my lungs, as I watched her lips move. Her own personal conflict was clear in the way the muscles in her jaw tightened and her eyes screwed shut.
No, it couldn’t be.
She didn’t.
Did she?
Was this about us?
No, I’m overthinking this.
“Our eyes fighting the light but I'm not ready to say good night, ooh. I try and hold on tight 'cause it's just not time to say good night. Say good night.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Orie smack Jesse on the shoulder and motioned to the stillness of me; still unmoving.
“Our eyes fighting the light. But I'm not ready to say good night, ooh. I try and hold on tight 'cause it's just not time to say good night. Say good night.”
I could see Jolly vibing along to the lyrics next to Y/N but it didn’t matter. Nothing else mattered more than this moment right here as I watched her pour every feeling about that night into this one song. My heart fell deep into the pits of my stomach when I saw her grip the necklace, playing with it between two fingers.
These eyes are closed again for yet another night I wake up and I can feel you by my side. But I can't find you in the dark when you're so far. Yeah, that's the hardest part. Here comes the hardest part.
My eyes dropped slightly in tangent with my shoulders.
Our eyes fight the light. But I'm not ready to say good night oh. I try and hold on tight 'cause it's just not time to say good night. To say good night.
As the last lyric faded into the air, there was a hushed recording playing some words in the background; another small thing I picked up on.
“I mean in what world do I go to sleep after you and wake up before you? I don't even know how it happens. Well, I hope you're having sweet dreams. And you call me when you wake up.”
Fuck.
My bottom lip trembled when I recognized that voice. It was Y/N’s, and it wasn’t just any kind of recording. No, it was a voicemail she left me while she was in Japan. It was right after I missed one of our 2:30 calls. I was asleep but once I noticed she called me less than an hour later; I listened to the voicemail before quickly calling her back.
“Okay, that deserves a curse,” Jolly said. “You fucking killed that, Y/N.”
She was beaming with pride. “Holy shit, guys. You don’t understand how long I’ve had this festering inside of me. It feels so good to get out.”
Y/N clicked on the laptop to read through some of the comments, a small frown pulling at her lips.
“Oh my god. Are you and Trey getting back together?! You were so perfect. No, we’re not getting back together. I grew up since the breakup; I became a savage. But not everything is about fucking Trey. This is just a song about a really awesome guy. That’s it.”
I was still, like a statue, unmoving and unnerving as Joly and Y/N said their goodbyes before the stream ended; a black screen mirror back to me.
Jesse leaned forward in his chair. “Noah-.”
Hearing my name broke me out of the trance and without saying another word, I jumped up from my spot on the coffee table and took the stairs two at a time, my footsteps thundering throughout the house before I slammed myself into my bedroom.
Tears threatened to spill, burning at the corners of my eyes, but I held them in with a choked sob as I ran a shaky hand over my face.
I didn’t know what to make of anything anymore. Maybe just romantics would call this a twisted, toxic beginning to a love story while the cynics would call it a tragedy. In my mind, it’s a little bit of both, and no matter how you choose to view it in the end, it doesn’t change the fact that it involves a great deal of my life and the path I’ve chosen to follow and that I- I love her.
Ripping the drawer of my desk open, I rummaged through the useless crap, already knowing what I was looking for. I tossed the velvet boxes to the side and cradled the jewelry, my large hands encased them. I pressed them on my forehead and let the tears finally spill to the floor as I fell to my knees, resting my back up against my bed.
I cried; actually fucking cried.
The necklace and bracelet shook in my hands as the sobs wrecked through me. I haven’t cried like this in a long time mostly because I hated being this open and vulnerable. It made me sick, knowing that I wasn’t able to protect myself from these feelings right now. I spent my entire life protecting myself from these feelings only for Y/N to sink her claws into me in the best way possible.
“I love her,” I choked out through sobs, realizing what I felt earlier. “I fucking love her.”
NOAH
I wasn’t sure how long I kneeled on the floor, jewelry grasped deep in my palms as it dug into my skin. But it wasn’t until there was a soft knock on the door that pulled me from the despair. Red, puffy, bloodshot eyes glanced up at Jolly, whose shoulders fell as he took in my state; tears dried to my face and hair a mess from running my hands through it.
“Noah,” he muttered.
“Please leave me alone right now.” I whimpered lowly, refusing to meet his gaze again.
“No. Jesse said watching her perform Eyelids fucked you up. What’s going on?” Jolly kneeled in front of me.
“I can’t-,” I choked on a sob. “I don’t want to deal with this.”
Jolly rubbed his jaw. “Was it the song or the jewelry?”
My eyes snapped up to him. “How did you know about the jewelry?”
“You used the band card to charge it, goof. I see everything,” Jolly gave me a small smile.
“Fuck. Sorry,” I sighed.
“It’s okay man, it’s okay,” he reassured me with a strong grip on my shoulder.
“No, no, it’s not. I’m tired of feeling. I want to disappear, just disappear.”
Jolly now gripped both of my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. "No, you don’t. Don’t say that shit.”
“I just mean I wish it wasn’t this. Y/N’s been giving me mixed signals.” I mumbled.
“Have you thought you’re doing the same? You’re literally hanging out with another woman out of spite,” He raised a questioning brow.
I leaned my head against the side of my mattress. “She won’t tell me how she feels, I’m trying to show her. I’ve always tried to show her.”
“There’s a saying.” Jolly paused, trying to think of the right words to say. “We are defined by what we do, not just nice words. However, I think you’ve shown enough, Noah. It’s time you use your words.”
“I don’t know how,” I admitted with a shaky breath after a long beat of silence.
“If you’re not comfortable talking about it with us, Noah. Talk to your therapist about it- but this has to stop. It’s draining you.”
I saw the way Jolly’s mouth twitched, his own emotions close to slipping through his own mask, but he held it stronger than me.
“Once you’re in a better place, come to the studio. I have something to show you.”
I nodded. “Sure, yeah. Might be good for me to write something.”
Jolly gave one last squeeze to my shoulder. “Love you, man.”
“You too. Thank you.” I smiled.
NOAH
An hour and a long shower later, I walked down the hallway toward our studio with a new tune in my head. The lyrics were loud in my mind as I played with the new bracelet on my wrist, twisting it between two fingers.
“There’s not another way don’t let me go, don’t dig another grave today,” I sang under my breath as I walked through the door.
Jolly was sitting on the couch in the room, guitar on his lap and notebook on the floor at his feet. He looked up as I walked in and had a nervous smile on his face.
“Hey, you better?”
I gave a small nod. “Yeah. What’s this?”
As I sat on the couch next to him, I went to reach for the notepad before he placed a foot over it, blocking me from retrieving it.
“Y/N gave me something earlier. I really like it but wanted to run it by you, if you were comfortable,” Jolly said hesitantly.
I tensed, not knowing how to feel. I wasn’t comfortable with whatever Jolly needed to show me but knowing it was from Y/N eventually made me agree.
He removed his foot so I could grab the notebook, eyes immediately scanning over the lyrics on the page.
Evened the scores, then I let it all go fall apart. And every step forward put a little more sword in your heart, yeah. Looking sideways when I say I’m okay with the past but I’m afraid of what I might say if you ask. I did it to myself, tried to be someone else. I let it tear me down, and I'll never be the same. I did it to myself, tried to be someone else. And you didn't notice 'til I finally got, finally got away.
My heart stuttered in my chest as I licked my lips. “Wow, that’s impressive. When did you find the time to write this? Usually, that's my wheelhouse.”
“Noah cut the shit. You know this isn’t my work. I just told you, it’s Y/N’s,” Jolly sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose.
“I’m just being a dick.” I snorted a laugh while bumping his shoulder with mine.
“Yeah, you are. Now what do you think? We can use this, no? As inspiration, maybe?”
Suddenly the lyrics I sang a moment before walking into the room played in my mind again; I hummed them under my breath, adding it to the lyrics Y/N wrote.
“One second,” I muttered while pulling out my phone.
ME: You sure you want us to have your lyrics?
Y/N’s response was immediate.
Angel 🪽: Nobody could do it better than you guys. You’ll give those lyrics the justice it deserve.
Leaving the message on read, Jolly and I worked tirelessly to rework the lyrics together and when I felt we were in a good position with them, I reached for my phone again. There was still a lingering feeling festering deep inside of me, that I wanted to make sure Y/N was fine with.
ME: I’m taking creative liberty for this, are you good with that?
Angel 🪽: What's mine is yours, Noah.
Yeah, not everything.
#noah sebastian#noah sebastian and reader#noah sebastian x reader#noah sebastian reader insert#noah sebastian smut#enemies to lovers#right person wrong time#starcrossed lovers
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While I’d love to hear six hours of discussion, perhaps we can hear your top 10 reasons you like Ironwood? Don’t want you to lose your voice after all my fellow Dadmiral friendo
Look I stream for 6 hours straight some days but that’s beside the point lolz. Also sorry this took so long. Life has been a thing.
1. James feels…human. I know the point of characters in stories is to make them feel alive and to immerse you into the world I know. But stay with me there are just little details like James adjusting his tie and little laughs at R/WBY’s antics that just make him feel more real.
2. James is strong. And not just in the physical sense but the emotional one. Between him in volume 3 holding it together despite the world falling apart around him and him taking on all of Atlas and Mantles hatred and vitriol while trying to protect them is incredible. Everyone hates him despite him trying his best and it’s both incredible and heartbreaking to see.
3. James is compassionate. I am not even slightly referring to volume 8 that bullshit is not canon at all just no. After watching Yang with his own eyes break (who he thought) was an innocent students leg unprovoked after the match ended and his aura was down, he believed her when she said she saw him attack first. He assumed the best of her even when all evidence showed that she was being malicious. Or in volume 4 when Weiss accidentally summoned a Grimm that attacked someone, he stood up for her or after Ruby failed to stop Cinder in volume 3 (? Or 2 can’t remember for sure) and he told her she did well and she took action which is what huntresses do. He is strict but he shows kindness to people.
4. He’s kind of silly sometimes. He’s normally very strict so it makes his funny moments stand out more. Like when he laughs when the girls admit they stole an airship or when he grins at Winters comment about how he couldn’t pay her to smile for the cameras.
5. He’s not a good public speaker. Now I can hear you say “but wait, he speaks publically all the time and while yes he does, he also does the equivalent of error 404 when things don’t go exactly as he mentally prepared beforehand and we see this in volume 7.
When the girls don’t react at all to his announcement that they’re all huntresses now he just freezes because this man needs to preplan everything and he did not have a plan b prepared and panics and it’s so relatable I adore it so much.
6. He’s awkward. While similar to the last point, people can suck at public speaking and still be able to converse well with people in a smaller setting but sometimes James seems to even be a little awkward even in less formal moments.
7. In early volumes he was allowed to make mistakes and still be a good person. I like it when characters are allowed to make a mistake and still be seen as a good guy. People make mistakes and screw up but that doesn’t make said person evil. Sometimes we can’t fix something or stop a bad thing from happening or even make a decision that winds up causing more problems. But the intention of the decision is the important thing. James wanted to protect people in volumes 2 and 3 so he brought his army because he had a feeling Salem was up to something. Cinder used said army to cause even more chaos but at the time the narrative refused to demonize him for this and allowed people to understand what his intentions were. That’s way more compelling than the narrative twisting itself to try and somehow prove the mains are always correct and never make mistakes. Learning and growing make stories interesting.
8. James is willing to make the tough decisions. Time and time again we see James making really difficult calls to try and navigate a war that most people don’t even know they’re fighting. He makes the plans to transfer Ambers Aura to keep it from Cinder. He pulled his armies from the other kingdoms to try and maintain peace, he decided to focus on Amity instead of the wall to try and restore global communication, he decided to try and save who he could when he was put between a rock and a hard place. He made the tough calls and stuck by his decision and that is admirable.
9. James trusts people. After James’s talk with Glynda she took his advice to heart and was more open and honest with people. When Winter tells him something is going on at Haven, he takes her word for it. When Ruby and co lie to his face he trusts their word. He trusts Yang when she says she saw Mercury attack her first during the Vytal Festival. (Despite what the narrative tries to tell us) James gives people the benefit of the doubt and is willing to trust people.
10. James is an incredible fighter even without a typical offensive Aura. Pretty self explanatory but James is able to go toe to toe with some dangerous adversaries and hold his own despite not having a special “super power” like everyone else does. Or even a special weapon really he kicks ass with just a pair of guns and that is so badass of him lolz.
And a bonus more meta point because I want to talk about this so there. But one thing I loved about Ruby and James’s volume 7 fallout is that we can see exactly how and why each of them made the decision they did during that breakdown. On one had we have Ruby who is full of hope still and sees the best in the world. She lost her friends and is still dealing with the trauma of that and doesn’t want to ever lose anyone else again or let people suffer a loss like she did during the fall of Beacon. On the other we have James who is equally traumatized from Beacon but in a very different way. He did his best to fight back against Salem and it was in the end used against him and caused even more pain and suffering. He’s terrified of going toe to toe against Salem again and wants to protect what he knows he can until he knows they are able to take on Salem. It’s realistic and painful and neither side is really a perfect option. It’s a bad situation and we can see how the characters respond to it and it feels in character and real and I wish that we got to see that writing continue into volume 9.
Sorry again for how long this one took! As I said life’s been all over the place and chaotic and it still is but I got a burst of motivation so I decided to finally type this out.
#rwde#james ironwood#ironwood protection squad#pro james ironwood#pro ironwood#general ironwood#general dadmiral#dadmiral ironwood
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TROP SEASON FINALE SPOILERS!!!!!
Elrond, my baby, my little guy, my poor soul.
DWARF RANT:
King Durin, may you rest in the Halls of Aule with honor.
I've seen a common theme in this series: people who had lost their minds, but found them in the last moment of shocking clarity that was (almost) their last noble act.
Celebrimbor, cutting off his thumb to escape (Which was very "I'm honoring my Uncle Maedhros" core, which I very much appreciate) and saying, "Whose will is the mightier?"
I can go on another rant about that phrase and the implications, but that was last episode.
King Durin III awoke the balrog, literally Durin's Bane.
Prince Durin and Disa's kiss was iconic, fyi.
Prince Durin tried so hard to help his father, but in the end, he couldn't stop him. Well, he alone couldn't stop his father; what truly set King Durin over the edge was the knowledge that his son might die. King Durin saw the balrog, something that he had willingly called forth, and went, "Holy shit, get the boy OUT". And how did King Durin get his boy out of the balrog's fire? He sacrificed himself.
Throughout this entire season, I have seen nothing but poor parenting from King Durin; he never listened to his son's advice; he literally shoved him away, and into a wall (My first thought was, "CHILD ABUSE!!! CHILD ABUSE!!!! GO GET DWARF DFCS!!!"). But here, we see the true affection King Durin had for his son.
The cataclysm that brought King Durin clarity was not anything his son could have done by himself, but the knowledge that his son was helpless. King Durin was not going to let his son suffer something of his own making, so he charged the balrog.
And then died.
HUMAN RANT:
Okay, so Kemen (I finally learned his name, unfortunately) needs to get off of his swampy ass and tumble into a grave. It'd be so simple; Isildur just needs to *grab by lapels* *shift three spaces to the right* *drop in hole*. Simple! Easy solution! Would the Valar be very happy? Probably not, but hey! We'd get rid of Kemen!
And I do appreciate Earien's technically treasonous act for her father; by now, she is a pretty prominent figure in Numenorean politics; the right hand of the king's right hand.
And you know what confused me?
The way Pharazon---I'm not calling him Ar-Pharazon, he doesn't deserve that---gathered up all of the RELIGIOUS LEADERS of the Faithful and said, "Yeah, sorry you're conspiring with Sauron, aka the DEVIL so you and all of the Faithful are to be arrested. Sorry."
One of the main things that always strikes a cord for me is religious freedom; when these wrongs are shown in this show, it makes me SO angry, because people should be able to practice their faith freely, regardless of whatever religion the government favors.
The sacking of Nienna's temple, the prosecution of the Faithful in earlier episodes, and now the legit imprisoning of people who are Faithful.
Recently, I have been reading "The Crucible" in class, and we have been discussing the causes and effects of mass hysteria, one of the contributing factors of the Salem Witch Hunts. I feel like there might be bought of mass hysteria going around Numenor now; the king/queen-ship is a major dispute, the Faithful are being arrested, major political and social leaders of the community have been imprisoned. People can likely accuse others of being Faithful (Even if they aren't) because of petty rivalries. In the Crucible, Mr. Putnam accused George Jacobs, his neighbor who had lots of land, of witchcraft, so that he would be able to purchase his land.
How many people in Numenor would face a similar dilemma?
Would Mr. Smith the Sailor accuse Mrs. Johnson the Tailor of being an Elf-Friend because her tapestries looked a little too much like those of Vaire? But it doesn't matter that Mrs. Johnson's only daughter is of marriageable age and Mr. Smith has had his eye on her. But who would be watching that if Mrs. Johnson was an Elf-Friend?
All of these factors are the most basic ingredient for a good ol' bought of mass hysteria; my English teacher doesn't watch this show, but I'm tempted to tell her the similarities.
then, to Isildur.
I thought Theo and Isildur's hug was very nice.
Theo was like, "Ah, yes, I shall bid my friend farewell after discussing the traumatic deaths of our mothers. I wish him well!"
And Isildur's like, "Why is the kid who hated me yesterday wanting a hug???"
I always got bad vibes from Estrid. I get swearing servitude to Adar in exchange for your life, I get that, but.
I never felt comfortable with her and Isildur's relationship. I get that she wasn't able to decipher her feelings for Hagen, her betrothed, until she met Isildur, but seriously. I also know that Isildur has an "unnamed wife" (SCREW THE NOT NAMING OF FEMALE CHARACTERS IT MAKES ME ANGRY), so I know he's gonna get somebody EVENTUALLY, and before Numenor sinks.
But then, Isildur and Estrid started MAKING OUT in Theo's kitchen. Like, bro. THAT'S NOT YOUR HOUSE!!!! Do that ELSEWHERE!!!!! Better yet, don't even do it!
And then, that slimy bitch Kemen had to stroll up, all, "Yeah, we'll put the watchtower there, knock down a few houses to do it." And then, he tries to be all buddy-buddy with Isildur, who obviously realizes that something is a bit off.
Then, Kemen drops the ball, saying that his father is wanted for treason, Queen Miriel is no longer queen, and "low men" are not allowed in Numenor.
First off: very classist of you, go kill yourself, Kemen.
Second off: Isildur learns that the woman he saved from the fire is no longer queen; is he thinking that his sacrifice, everything that he's endured in Middle Earth, has been for naught?
Third off: Kemen mentioned Earien. Does Isildur know that his sister has gotten a little racist in his absence? How will he react to seeing his sister betray their entire family by literally trying to put them all in prison (Anarion, Elendil, AND Isildur)?
Kinda happy that Estrid wasn't going to Numenor. Don't like the circumstances, but I'm glad that she isn't going.
I also think that Earien is coming to her senses; she might not have wanted Miriel on the throne, but now, Pharazon's tyranny is affecting HER. HER family is being prosecuted. HER father is wanted for "treason". HER people are at risk. Earien is getting a rude awakening to this thing.
I also think that its interesting how that guard left when Earien told him to; it shows how people in power are STILL defying the law in Numenor, all because, "Oh, she knows the king's son."
Of course, Earien did this for a good reason, but it still demonstrates the corruption of Numenor's political system.
Then, Miriel and Elendil. As I was watching this my mom, I was like, "Hey, do you ship it?" and she was like, "Oh, yeah" and I was like, "Good, my assumptions are not unfounded."
So yeah, Anarion, Isildur, and Earien are going to be getting a step-mom, good for them!!
What messed me up was when Miriel was like, "No Elendil, you must go, I will stay." Like Elendil (And us) were under the impression that she would remain with the Faithful; Elendil draped the cloak over her shoulders and she didn't flinch, she listened to his plan, but when the time came to make the decision she stayed. Frankly, I don't understand WHY, but go off girlie, I guess.
ELVES:
Okay, so Galadriel getting the refugees out of Eregion, I really liked; in cannon, Galadriel and many of Eregion's fled Eregion and headed south. Then, Galadriel gave up the Nine to save the refugees (Iconic, Queen Behavior), and we see Adar, leaning against a fallen tree. Is he injured? Is he hiding? Has his hand been conveniently cut off by some guy on an eagle? What happened?
After dismissing the orcs, Adar turns around. At first, I didn't see any difference (I'm not very observant, sometimes, alright?), until I looked a little closer. His face was no longer scared and burned; his hair seemed thicker, cleaner; he looked less gaunt. The ring had healed him.
And then, Galadriel asked for his name, but he evaded the question, like a little BITCH.
"Adar was the name I chose for myself" blah, blah, blah, bah, JUST SAY MAKALAURE YOU IDIOT!!! Sure, there are some details in cannon that don't line up (Maglor wasn't strung up on Thangorodrim, Maedhros was) but here's the thing: not only has trop changed a few things, it made some things more accessible.
In trop, Elrond and Elros were found by Galadriel after the Third Kinslaying, not the sons of Feanor. Celebrimbor was supposed to be tortured for TWO YEARS before his death. Celeborn is still supposed to be present.
I also have a cannon-probable idea for Maglor being Adar; in Maglor's trauma and grief at loosing his last and first brother, could he have not clung to his brother, in all aspects? Maglor may have curated this story of hanging from a cliff because that's what happened to his brother, that idea is what keeps him close. The things about being with the orcs and Sauron, I can't really explain for this idea. That's just about as far as I got.
But Adar WILLINGLY returned the ring to Galadriel, proving that he truly meant to defeat Sauron with elven help. But then, there is an injured Uruk nearby, and Adar goes to help; he might not even be able to heal him, but he will be with that Uruk in his last moments.
And then.
The Uruk, Glug, I think? leapt up and stabbed him. All of the others followed suit. It was a mirror to Sauron's own death in the first episode: betrayed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed---
You get the gist.
By the end, Adar is well and truly gone. He raises his hand to touch one of the orcs, his children, and calls them such, but the orc stabs him again, one, final time.
The entire situation is disheartening; sure Adar might have been willing to risk his "children" in his hunt for revenge against Sauron, but he cared about them, well and truly. In exchange, the orcs killed him for his kindness.
In the end, I really do want to know who Adar was before his chaining to a mountain. Did he have a family? People he loved? He must have come from Cuivienen, so he probably did.
I also wonder where he would go after death. Now that his hroa (Physical body) is well and truly... extinguished, where will his fea (Spirit) go? Do orcish fear (Spirit, plural) go to the Halls of Mandos, or somewhere else?
Adar looked vaguely elven; he could walk in sunlight, unlike his children. I feel like he should go to the Halls of Mandos; he did many terrible things, but were they not in the pursuit of good?
Then, Celebrimbor's death (These are not in the order of the scenes, just what I remember).
We see streaks of blood on stone floor, and we know something has happened.
Then, there's Celebrimbor, BEING USED AS TARGET PRACTICE, with arrows in his arms. Sauron stand over him, grim, and he wants to know where the rings are. They bicker and banter, there's some (un)healthy badinage, and Sauron STILL says that Celebrimbor's pain is HIS fault, that Celebrimbor brought this upon himself. Even though Celebrimbor is well and truly destroyed, Sauron STILL wants to have Celebrimbor guilt-ridden and full of self-loathing. It sickens me.
And then, Celebrimbor has something to say. He says, "forsee", and Sauron stops. I doubt Celebrimbor has had many visions of foresight, but the line of Finwe is not without them; did Miriel not have a vision of foresight to name her son Feanaro? Was Galadriel not gifted in seeing versions of the future? So it is possible, especially since Celebrimbor is SPOT ON. It WILL be one ring that brings about Sauron's downfall, and Sauron will fall. Sauron realizes this, and runs him through with a spear. Celebrimbor is lifted onto the pillar (Which is what I think we're going to get as the Celebrimbanner, unfortunately; I would have loved to see his cannonical death) and finally dies.
Then, Galadriel and Sauron's duel. Sauron turns into different people to try and fool Galadriel, but by now, she is used to trickery. He turns into puppy-dog-eyed Halbrand (Annatar was literally just Halbrand in a heat-damaged wig and shaved, Celebrimbor should have seen that IMMEDIATELY). Then, he's Galadriel herself, depicting her darkest, most evil deeds and desires. Then, Celebrimbor, mocking her for her retreat. Franky, I thought he was going to be Finrod as well, but alas, it was not so.
And then, he stabbed her with the crown (rude) and Galadriel, salty to the last, PRETENDED to give Sauron the ring. Very slowly, just to watch the pride and greed flash in his eyes, and then, "If I can't have it, then neither can you." Not what she said, but what she MEANT.
And girlie does and Elwing. Too many people in season two have dove off of cliffs; Elrond failed to beat the mama's boy allegations by jumping off a cliff with an object of power (In this case, three). And I was wondering if these guys actually thought that Ulmo was gonna come in clutch and turn them into birds. I mean, he did it for Elwing, so why not her son? Why not some other random person jumping off of a cliff?
In the end, Gil-Galad approaches (I'll get to that part in the beginning with Gilly and Elrond, hold on) and knows that Galadriel cannot be healed. She has the Second Age equivalent of a Morgul wound. It festers with dark magic and cannot be healed.
But who do they have?
THE healer!
The top dog of his graduation class from Lindon's School of Magical and Physical Healing!! Elrond Peredhel Earendilion whatever other name you give him! He's THE healer! Just standing there!
So of course, Mr. Healer is all dramatic, like, "No, we can heal her" through the power of friendship of course, and perhaps these magical rings.
I do think it's interesting how the rings will heal scarring and a Morgul wound; I think they only heal physical wounds, not those done to the spirit (Fea).
And then, we appear in a grassy, bright area, with Gil-Galad watching over Galadriel. He says that it is safe, a sanctuary made by the rings. This is, of course, the beginnings of Imladris, Rivendell, the Last Homely House. In cannon, Elrond and refugees of Eregion fled north, and founded Rivendell.
The river down the center HAS to be the Anduin, I guarantee it.
When the offer of the sword or shield pops up, I though that Galadriel would choose the shield; after all, this series is basically about how Galadriel went from a brutish, hyper-angry, traumatized elleth to a proud, wise, kind Lady of Lothlorien. I thought she would choose the shield, protect what her people had lost so much of, but she remains silent. Gil-Galad chooses the sword.
That scene of the elves raising their fists in defiance felt odd to me; even the children were seen raising their hands. Elves reach their majority at approx. 100 years, so what are these children, who have never seen battle and bloodshed except for that day, doing, wanting to wage war? It reminds me of Feanor and the unrest of the Noldor; a people that knew no bloodshed, and in their innocence, went to their deaths. It worries me.
Alright, one of my favorite parts: Elrond and the Scrolls.
Elrond, Gil-Galad, and Arondir are brough to a city square and we see orcs piling scrolls to be burned. Elrond, who is obviously a scholar, I mean look at him, is outraged. Not only are these the last ties he has to his cousin Celebrimbor, they also hold invaluable scientific information; it's like destroying the elven version of the Library of Alexandria.
Then, my baby boy Gil-Galad is at sword-point (Very scary, but I know what his doom is so I wasn't THAT scared), and just barely saved. Ngl, I had thought Arondir had died in Episode 7, so it was good to see him still kicking!
My favorite parts were Celebrimbor and Annatar's scenes and Elrond's dismay at the scrolls. I would also like to say that I think Gil-Galad slayed in every scene he was in.
Well, then. I must go google when Season Three is expected to show up.
#silmarillion#galadriel#celebrimbor#elrond#the rings of power#trop#trop season 2#rop season 2#i love celebrimbor#gil galad#adar rings of power#adar#rant post
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I think it's a hallucination
I think that the Salem Seven's bugs bit/stung the group as they flew through them because, otherwise, what was the point of including that in the episode? It didn't do shit to stop them. It would have been more effective for that one Salemite to stay there, blocking them with her body. She may have caught at least one of them or slowed them down for the others to catch up.
So, assuming they did get bit/stung by those bugs and assuming they are, in fact, all hallucinating:
They're not all hallucinating the same thing.
This episode was mainly Agatha's hallucination, obviously. She's the one they most want to punish. I guess she never explained why their parents died, or they were just too upset to care why it happened, just that it did happen. It's said that they were young, so how young are we talking? Younger than Agatha, most likely. Maybe they were babies and toddlers, being cared for by other parents/ family members, who filled their heads with the same vitriol that led to Agatha's attempted execution by their mothers.
Honestly, Agatha should have adopted them all and turned them into her little army of baby witches, but she didn't. She was probably also scarred by the experience and then literally meeting Death (aka Rio Vidal, the love of her life) and got distracted.
But that makes me think that, maybe, when a witch is killed in a duel, it's expected for the witch to wipe out the children, to end the bloodline with that witch. And Agatha Harkness showed mercy to these babies. She allowed them to live, which eventually became her biggest regret.
Showing Humanity is one of Agatha's biggest regrets.
That explains so much about this woman, I swear.
Anyway, hallucinations.
Agatha's is an embodiment of everything she has ever feared:
Losing Control - Agatha cannot rely on other people. She learned that, probably, at a young age because her mother despised her. She kept Agatha alive despite her claims that she knew she should have killed Agatha when she was born. I cannot find shit about her father, but he's never mentioned so maybe he wasn't in the picture. Hard to believe Evanora wouldn't have been married before having children but idk. Bitch is crazy. Anyway, Agatha knew that she couldn't rely on anybody: not her mother, not even her own coven. She was alone in the world, even when Rio came. She tried not to rely on anybody. Being possessed means relying on others to save her.
Her mother - this old fucking crone. I cannot stand her. Just in, like, six minutes of an episode, I have beef with an old ghost. This woman terrorized her daughter from the moment she was born. She "knew" she was evil (then why didn't you kill her, Voldemort? she was a baby. all you needed was a knife. or just leave her somewhere without food?!?! lying bitch...sorry) and yet raised this child, torturing her, punishing her for shit she probably had no control over. If Agatha had a father, he definitely didn't protect her. Probably didn't love her, either. Poor Agatha had such a rough start. And this bitch CONTINUES to try and torture her daughter. WTF just die.
Her coven turning on her - trauma, trauma, trauma. Agatha can be callous, but she has shown each of them kindness while they've been on the road. But still they immediately turn on her, frothing at the mouth to punish her, to leave her behind with her mother. Agatha shows genuine fear for the first time and the only one who has empathy is Teen. And Rio, I think, because both Rio and Agatha know that she can't actually do anything to Agatha, and even if Agatha dies, that they'll be together.
Involuntary Power Grab - I believe Agatha when she says that she couldn't control it when she took Alice's power. The same thing happened to her as a young witch. She didn't know that she could do that, that that was something that could happen just from people blasting her with their magic. But, of course, she knew that nobody would believe her. Even the teen boy who had been so enthralled her is blaming her for what happened to his friend. It's grief, I know, but still.
Agatha cries "I can be good" and it breaks my heart (Kathryn better get an Emmy for this one) because this is a middle-aged witch (I'm guessing, Idk how old witches get, but this iteration was probably 20 when they tried to kill her in the 1600's so...eh) who is begging for understanding and forgiveness, for them to take her with them because she is so fucking terrified of her own mother.
And then she inadvertently kills a member of her coven. A member who was trying to save her while the others stood and watched. She didn't mean to do it, didn't want Alice to die, but who's going to believe her based on her past? Nobody.
I believe the also worst fears were for Teen, who had gone into this practically worshipping Agatha, and then he was seemingly proven wrong about her. What everybody else said is correct; Agatha is power-hungry and cares for nobody. She's just a remorseless killer.
Or it could be another part of her own fears. Finally, she has somebody who gives her praise (besides Rio) who has heard all the legends and likes her, anyway. Teen treats her like a hero, like a powerful witch, and goddammit does she care about him. She cares so much about this child, who has become almost like a stand-in for Nicholas. And the way she tries to explain to him, desperate for him to understand her? Ugh, my heart.
I'm gonna trust that Jac Schaeffer knows what she's doing and that the next episode is going to be a sort of Part 2 to this. That we may see either the other hallucinations or what really is happening here.
I, personally, cannot wait.
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I think I've recovered enough from watching the episode to actually say something about it, or at least more than I managed right afterwards.
I loved it.
It's great to see chibi-ish!Ruby used for comedic effect again, for the first time since Volume 1 I think. First acting playfully mad with Yang, and then in her excitement at the boba.
On that note, it's great to see and hear Ruby excited again. It's impressive how high her voice can go without breaking, especially considering Ruby's VA's normal voice seems to be lower pitched than Yang's voice.
I'm not surprised Ruby's uncomfortable with the cult that has sprung up around her message to Remnant. She always wanted to be a normal girl, if one who became a huntress, which is a fairly normal thing in Remnant. Especially for someone born to a family of them.
It's good to see that refugees from Patch can set up their business in Vacuo, and even better that it lets Yang and Ruby carry on the tradition they had before Beacon. That it was something they did with Tai also ended up revealing why he isn't there with them: he's on assignment, according to Qrow. What is more important than being in Vacuo, where the majority of Remnant's population is gathered? And more important than being with his daughters, who he might have heard were presumed dead and miraculously reappeared.
I've seen the suggestion that Tai's guarding the Crown aka Relic of Choice, but I've also seen the great point that if that's the case and Salem finds him, there's not much he can do to stop her, no matter what his Semblance is. Although I guess Raven might feel that he's in danger and open a portal for him to escape through. It's not confirmed that's how her Semblance works, but it explains how she knew when Yang needed saving in Volume 2.
Anyway, back to Yang and Ruby! I love that Yang brought up what happened in the Ever After. That she's understands, or at least understands enough after what Yang herself has been through, and the important thing she gets across to Ruby is that she's not alone. That she's not going to carry the weight of leading them alone. Not anymore.
It's also important that they've figured out a code word to signal that Ruby needs help, because she doesn't always know how to reach out. I figure that they will tell Blake and Weiss about that, or it could confuse them:
Ruby: "Boba!"
Weiss: ...
Blake: :3 ???
Yang: Hugs Ruby. "I'm here for you."
Weiss: "Is. Is this another weird Xiao Long-Rose thing?"
What I particularly appreciate about it is that Yang acknowledged her mistake but didn't actually apologise for it, and Ruby didn't mind that. Because the important thing isn't saying sorry, it's changing things so that Ruby never feels that alone again. Actions speak louder than words.
It's also equally important that Ruby recognised she still has issues saying when she needs help. They're a team and they need to work together.
It just reinforces RWBY's message of hope, and to keep moving forward, and that no one is perfect but that they learn from their mistakes.
Asjhgsdkjghfdkshjkakjhdhlsj FEELS AUGH
Also that last line kinda hints that Ruby likes to go shopping with Yang, but they haven't got around to it. Shopping for new outfits, perhaps?
#RWBY spoilers#RWBY Beyond#Yang Xiao Long#RWBY Ruby#the sisters Xiao Long-Rose#the sisters of all time#deadbeatbirdmom posts
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what do you think about the summer is on salems side theory?
i mean... in the event that summer is alive, her being on salem's side is the most likely explanation why she hasn't returned or why she, essentially, faked her death. and like, the seers have only ever been shown to be used to communicate between two people, and salem was talking to someone unknown at beacon, so. the list of characters who have not only met salem, but narratively would have a reason to keep hidden is pretty damn short—no pun intended.
now, whether summer being on salem's side is because she ultimately agrees with whatever salem's plan is, or because she's going through her inner-circle mandated breakdown at the worst plausible time and place and making some bad choices because of it, who's to say. at the moment i'm leaning towards the latter, but the fact we don't know much about summer and what she was like—and thus how she might have changed over the years—makes it hard to say for certain.
like. okay, summer is a Good Person™ based on what has been said about her... but what does that actually entail? like, did she have "no killing under any circumstances" rule? or anything else like that that she would have changed about herself as she head out to her mission with raven? has she gone over "the end justifies the means" side of things?
because if we're to believe that summer was and still is a good person with a reveal incoming that she's been working for salem this whole time she has supposedly been "dead", you look at all the destruction and death salem and her plans have cause on remnant and it's like... cool. cool cool cool cool.
there's also a third option that's kind of an offshoot of summer working for salem because she agrees with her—or should i say, "agrees". one thing we did learn from the flashback is that summer is scary good at lying, even when it obviously pains her might i add, so considering that her goal was to defeat salem—"if i do this right"—, if things didn't go exactly to plan, well... those plans might have also changed if her goal stayed the same.
the relics can be used to "change the world", and while ozpin would have never taken them willingly out of their vaults, salem very much wants them. so all summer needs to do is play along for now—lying to salem about her true motives would certainly be a walk in the park compared to her teammates—and then just, seize the opportunity when it comes, and attempt to fulfill her original goal.
like, in a roundabout way, while others might think she's dead, in reality the mission never ended. it's still going, it just took longer than she expected.
tl;dr: yeah summer working for salem makes sense, but her motivations for doing so are up in the air.
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@tumblingxelian tag from here
#OK I'd legit love to hear your take on her interactions with Oscar
oh i think about the interrogation scene a normal amount
something i want to underline before diving in is the conspicuous discrepancy between the eloquence and spoken delivery of salem's soliloquies in V1/V3 (internal monologue) versus her dialogue (verbal speech). it's especially noticeable in juxtaposition with ozma's V7 soliloquy versus ozpin's dialogue, where no such discrepancy exists; oz talks the way he thinks, he's an excellent orator and even in casual conversation he's well-spoken and charismatic.
whereas salem... thinks eloquently and often poetically ("nature's wrath in hand, man lit their way through the darkness..." or "it's true that a simple spark can ignite hope, breathe fire into the hearts of the weary..."), but speaks with minimal rhetorical flair. her speech is also sometimes a little stilted or just very, very deliberate in a way that does not sound natural; and there's times—her conversation with cinder in V5 is a particularly noticeable example—where what she says circles around what she means.
"working with bandits? keeping ruby alive? what's the point? we're strong enough to take what we want by force!" / "never underestimate the usefulness of others; take leonardo. he was one of ozpin's most trusted, but now... hm. you will have the power i promised you when the time is right, but remember that it comes with a cost. if ruby rose has learned to harness her gift, you must take care to protect yours. there's only so much i can do to aid you."
<- its like. instead of just saying it, salem says examples supporting the idea she's trying to articulate. if a conversation were a math problem, salem shows all of her work but doesn't give the answer. and she does this A LOT.
none of the other characters in the story are like this—which means it isn't, like, a problem with the writers failing to write cogent dialogue. it's a deliberate character choice for salem specifically.
anyway, prior to the interrogation scene, salem only appears in contexts where she is either addressing her subordinates or—in V7—giving ironwood the terms of her siege. on two of these occasions, she get interrupted with unexpected new information (ozpin is back, ruby rose used the lamp) and in both cases, salem abruptly ends the conversation and either kicks everyone else out (V6) or leaves (V7).
and i think that's worth noting in relation to this scene, because the interrogation veers off script very fast and we get to see salem, um, Trying Her Best.
so!
as far as salem knows, oscar is gone. she expects—prepares for—a hostile and painful confrontation with ozma. when oscar wakes up, she's huddled against a pillar in a shadowy corner with an arm curled around herself and her head low, staring fixedly at conjured shadows of her dead children. she is Not Okay.
but when she speaks, her tone is conversational. almost cordial, once she's past the withering sarcasm in "my long lost ozma... found at last." it's affected! it's not real! she's reciting words she planned and probably rehearsed beforehand—which i think is likely the case for most of her little speeches. she's a poor speaker.
except... it's oscar. salem twigs that he isn't ozma the instant he talks, stares at him for a couple seconds without no visible reaction except that her mocking little smile fades, and:
snarls and grabs his face and yanks him down to get a better look at him—the mask just shatters. there's lots of ways to interpret this, but i'm inclined to take it as salem recognizing that this isn't ozma and then second-guessing that instinct and grabbing him because she needs to be absolutely sure.
"you can pretend, boy... but you're not fully him. not yet, at least." her tone shifts on every clause, from almost a growl to relieved to just sort of resigned. and then she drops him, exhales, steps back:
and just... stands there gazing into the middle distance for a couple seconds. like—oscar being here was not a possibility she even considered until it happened and upon finding herself in this situation her reaction is basically, "...um."
and then she's like
well... :)
perhaps you and i can have a better working reLaTiOnShiP.
...
...
oscar, >:[
was it? :\
laying aside the dire understatement of referring to what happened between her and ozma as a bad "working relationship," you can like. hear. the crash box crashing in her head as she says this. her tone swings from sweet and gentle to sardonic to coldly indifferent—and then she follows this by swerving right back into cordial neutrality. hrgkhsj her affect just goes haywire
and i think that happens because this is just so far out of expected bounds that she can't figure out how to say what she needs to say to get herself back on track. her speech smooths out again as soon as she segues into her questions, because she knows what she planned to ask ozma and she can tailor that to oscar instead.
but getting there? dial-up noises.
the hysterical part though is that it's really obvious this awkward verbal jumble isn't indicative of internal confusion or uncertainty, in that salem knows what she's going to do—her chosen tactics are clear and entirely coherent. she:
calms herself down and backs off.
states her intention to play nice if he cooperates.
both implicitly and explicitly differentiates him from ozma to indicate she understands he's his own person and can and will set her rage and bitterness with ozma aside to treat oscar fairly.
which is precisely what i meant in the OP, about salem having the necessary grasp of human nature to be—in theory—a formidable manipulator but lacking the social dexterity and charisma required to put it into effective practice. like, tactically this line of attack is very shrewd, but her awkward, erratic delivery cuts the legs out from under it because she sounds utterly insincere.
⭐️ she tried.
continuing on—salem first explains the context regarding what she needs to know about "the beacon relic" (sidebar, does... salem even know what it is? this is the only one she refers to this way. the lamp, the staff, the sword, and "the beacon relic"), all in a fairly amicable tone except for:
"if i know my ozma" <- she's implicitly positioning herself and oscar on the same 'side' against ozma. this follows from her deliberate rhetorical separation of oscar from ozma and also the basis of her strategy in coaxing this information out of oscar. the reason she's taking the time for this little prologue is not to help oscar understand why she captured him necessarily. she's (trying to) set out the rules of the game she is playing. trying to, because she's doing her showing-her-work-but-not-giving-the-answer thing again.
here's what she means:
"perhaps you and i can have a better working relationship. oscar, was it?" -> i can work with you because i know you're not him. "if i know my ozma, he has used some means of deception to hide [the relic's] location differently from the others." -> ozma lies. i despise him for lying to me. i expect you to prove to me that you're not like him in this specific way. "i need to know where it is." -> i want an honest answer.
salem knows he isn't going to tell her where ozma hid the relic, if oscar even knows that information; she doesn't expect or even want him to tell her that yet, necessarily. rather, this is a test. she wants to see if oscar will try to deceive her.
"that's not something i know about." he passes.
immediately, salem rewards him for being honest. "of course." she removes her hand from the hound's shoulder and moves away.
"he would keep that one guarded as long as possible." she also takes the opportunity to reinforce that she sees oscar as a separate individual and insinuates that ozma is actively keeping secrets from both of them.
and again, this is a cunning approach because:
oscar is scared and uncomfortable. he quite clearly anticipates that salem is going to get angry and hurt him as he says he doesn't know the answer. so when she accepts "i don't know" without hesitation and physically moves out of his personal space, it creates these feelings of surprise and relief.
that emotional reaction is the key to salem's strategy here. first she tells oscar that she will be reasonable if he cooperates, then she clarifies her expectations ("don't lie.") she asks a question knowing full well that he either can't or won't answer it. he says "i don't know" and braces for retaliation, but instead salem goes "okay" and turns down the heat. she's demonstrating through her actions that she's going to play fair.
"how about something easier, then? the password for the lamp."
she doesn't expect him to tell her this one either. not yet. it's another test that builds from the first. she's established that "i don't know" is a safe answer (as long as it's true). what salem's fishing for him to say now is "i'm not going to tell you that."
why? when she walked away, she left oscar hanging from the hound's jaws. salem lowered the heat—she didn't turn it all the way off. the point of all this is to teach oscar how to play her game, and the last rule he needs to know is that "i won't say" is also a safe answer. had he given her that answer, the hound would have set him down and withdrawn to lay down in the entryway.
only then would the game truly begin. the idea is to draw oscar into something like a real conversation and gradually get him comfortable saying things like "i don't know" and "i won't answer that question" by cultivating trust. once that rapport exists, it becomes really easy to turn the discussion around by asking oscar why? why not take the risk of trusting her with this or that information? after all, she's been nothing but polite and reasonable. does he truly still believe she's the evil monster ozma made her out to be? she gave him the benefit of the doubt... can't he do the same for her?
salem wins by convincing him she's a person he can negotiate with. that pulling this off would be the ultimate fuck-you to ozma only makes it more satisfying.
of course, that's not what actually happens. (partly because salem talked a circle about the "don't lie" rule and oscar—who hasn't spent the last four volumes seeing that his woman yells and flips tables when she's lied to—didn't pick up the hint.) instead, he tries to deceive her again and salem lashes out.
<- the physical violence gets all the attention from the fandom, and i do understand why, it's nasty and protracted and made to be viscerally unpleasant to watch, but. it's only a placeholder, something salem does while she considers what she's going to do—and say—to hurt him in a way that will never heal.
ok.
salem gets that oscar isn't ozma, didn't ask to become him, and feels desperate to retain his own identity distinct and separate from for as long as possible. she knows how ozma's reincarnation works, what this curse does to his hosts. it's not hard to figure out that it is a horrifying, traumatizing ordeal for the souls he's "paired" with. this is why she makes such a particular point of differentiating between oscar and ozma.
"the lies come out of you so easily." ("if i know my ozma, he has used some means of deception...")
why does she caress his face like this? to make him remember her like ozma does. "like-minded souls, indeed." you can pretend, boy, but so much of you is him that you remember even this.
the torture is just the preshow. this is the cruelest, most devastating thing she could possibly do to him, and salem knows it. she gave him a pass on pretending to be ozma, and he threw the second chance back in her face by lying to her again; she's furious and upset and she wants to HURT him.
this is how porous the boundaries between you and him have become. this is how close you are to being him. this is how little of you there is left to lose. like-minded souls, indeed.
like.
she does this to fuck with his head and it horrifies him so much that oscar spends the remainder of this arc actively choosing to endure being hazel's literal punching bag rather than let ozma take over or try to escape using ozma's magic. in 8.6:
OZMA: I’d like to express again that this is my burden to bear, not yours. His grudge is with me. OSCAR: No, it’ll be even worse. He’s holding back with me, I can tell. OZMA: I understand. I do. But you’ve done so much already. The least I can do is give you a break and try to get us out of here. OSCAR: We can’t leave yet.
they go back and forth, oscar proposes trying to flip hazel, ozma agrees it's worth a try. when hazel comes in, ozpin goes "oscar, please"—and because oscar doesn't respond, it's ambiguous whether he gives ozma control or if ozma shunts him aside again as he did at haven academy.
either way, the next we see of oscar after the interrogation scene is ozma entreating oscar to let him take over and oscar going no no no, that'll make it worse, no i don't need a break, i've got a plan, no no we have to stay here. and while his reasoning is cogent... this is a fifteen year old boy who's spent the whole day getting beaten up by a guy three times his size, and he actively wants to stay and be tortured more rather than let ozma front for a while.
and then in 8.9:
OZMA: I think this plan to divide may have run its course. It’s time we start thinking about a way out; not having our cane certainly limits our options, so… OSCAR: No! I don’t like what happens when we use magic. Every time we use it, I can feel us merging faster. I'm not ready for that.
the deeper truth gets spoken aloud.
this is not a new thing with oscar—his emotional core has always been existential dread—but framing it in this way, set against hours and hours of brutal torture that oscar insists is the less bad option, represents a massive spike in the intensity of his horror.
because salem Did That.
anyway the interrogation scene is great. 10/10.
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MORE BOOTLEG DUCKTALES ‼️team science (oops! all identity issues!) edition
team magic here
archimedes gallas / gyro = more like other versions where he's nice but this man is carrying SOOOO much guilt. insane amounts. his entire character is focused on how much his self-worth is down the drain (also hes being haunted by the narrative (phoebe/della)). also he's half japanese. based off the onagadori
cherry pekin / huey = has a similar problem to archie where she has overwhelming feelings of needing to seem mature, and responsible, where she overworks herself
sydney eggtooth-diazi / fenton = REALLYY wants to seem like a Professional Normal Dude. repressing EVERY urge to wear silly ties. sees morality in a black and white sort of way and it WILL cause problems later. he puts archie on a pedestal and its super obvious and it just makes archie more mentally ill
salem milly / gandra = planning to really lean into how she joined fowl bc they were the only ones that supported her. mainly the contrast with how the Main Family supports each other with unconditional love, the love she has is purely conditional, and she's constantly convincing herself that she Wants to do bad things, and that she doesnt care about these people, because despite how she says she only listens to herself, shes stuck to FOUL, and thats her 'family'. based on mille fleur d'uccle
frankie loon / fethry = IT IS PART OF TEAM SCIENCE‼️ after getting back to mainland after being alone at sea for four years, he joins as a janitor. pulling back the marine biology in the sense that he is interested in EVERYTHING. man of a 10000 copies. winning the idgaf war (DOES care abt how his family is disinterested in his interests but its FINE because HE cares its fine its fine. he's accepted he'll be alone). its presence WILL send everyone else into a shock about their identity. hopefully it'll happen vice versa as well
widget-time-tech / widget / gizmoduck / lil bulb = theyre being consolidated and also theyre lil bug guys now!! i dont care if you hate bugs theyre cute as shit!! widget is Usually in the little ball, but also helps control the suit with sydney. it still has anger issues so it'll make things harder for sydney rather than just silly incompetence. and it was DEFINENTLY made to be a superhero ai. no other purposes. at all. certainly not messing with the fabric of time. just helping the ppl of the town :)
mad clucktor / mad clucktor = iwhile he IS a villain he isn't necessarily a bad person. hes a physical manifestation of the part of archie that WANTS to be alive! that KNOWS his worth! he doesn't have to work himself to death to make up for his guilt!
and he's the reason why toby is even active. why he's back
toby / boyd = cannot be normal abt this sorry
he was made to be archie's idea of the "perfect boy". the perfect kid. what he wants to be what he WISHED he would be growing up. hes happy, he can do everything right, he's intelligent, he's strong. his existence is free of human doubt and anxiety, he's the perfect boy and if he was in archie's place everything would be fine
but it isnt! he gets used! toby's used for evil through no fault of his own. but he becomes a symbol of things that are "wrong" about archie. toby didn't resent anyone or be upset with how people treat him. toby doesnt have his own needs. he can do whatever people need him to do. toby was his symbol of hope but becomes a symbol of how everything with him goes wrong. he becomes an unachievable goal that archie is trying to be to make up for the existence of toby!!
and so the only way for either of them to be "truly human" is when archie learns that he doesn't have to be perfect. he never had to be. even if he's made mistakes, he still deserves to LIVE!! he doesn't have to hide his pain and discomfort for anyone!! and its okay for toby to be toby!
#dt47#ducktales#ducktales au#dt17 au#duckverse#plant talk#should i tag mainline ppl for this. would that be ok#sooo not normal about these people they drive me INSANE#gladdy/oliver oca was the reason this started THESE PEOPLE ARE KEEPING IT GOING!!!!!!! MY GOD#redesign
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My personal ranking of all of the episodes directed by Matthew Gray Gubler
1. Mosley Lane, 5x16: the first episode directed by MGG and arguably one of his most iconic. The carnival themes along with the actual story created a really stressful but engaging watch and I loved watching the mum be proved right. The line ‘he was alive yesterday’ really sealed the episode for me.
2. Mr Scratch, 10x21: I love dark and creepy episodes, as you will see from this list, and this episode was perfect. The horror movie aspects added to the mind games that were being played on both the audience and the characters were insane. I loved how the lighting in this episode remained dark so the audience never got any reprieve from the horror. We also had to grieve each character at some point.
3. The Lesson, 8x10: this episode was so gruesome and I don’t normally like gore but this was done in such an interesting and terrifying way. I loved the ballet scene and the end when Hotch is walking through the fake ‘audience’- both such beautifully haunting scenes and I loved how we were put inside the unsub’s delusion.
4. Lauren, 6x18: arguably one of the most iconic episodes for Emily Prentiss’ character. I really loved how this episode opened a lot of things up for Prentiss as a character and also allowed for a lot of things about her to be explained. I also loved the reveal about Doyle’s son and it really left me on edge and questioning a lot.
5. A Beautiful Disaster, 11x18: I really deliberated this ranking because I wanted it to be higher but didn’t know where to place it. I’m not easy to make cry yet this episode had me sobbing. It was so intense and Morgan’s departure was done so beautifully, I honestly didn’t know what to do with myself after watching it. MGG really perfected his craft with the set out of this one.
6. Tall Man, 14x05: this episode is amazing because you can see the influence it takes from the real life Slenderman case which made it really eerie but interesting to watch. I also loved that the episode was JJ centric and we got to learn more about her and her background with Roslyn and her parents. This episode really made me adore JJ’s character even more and AJ’s acting was incredible (I know that isn’t a note about MGG’s directing but I just needed to give AJ her credit because she was insane).
7. Heathridge Manor, 7x19: the old Salem themes with the medieval dresses and the old rituals? Stunning. The visuals for this episode were amazing and the story was so interesting. The end when she hallucinates and we are left with the image of her alone on the doorstep; my Lord.
8. Elliott’s Pond, 12x06: this might not be the right word for a Criminal Minds episode but it honestly felt kind of cosy? With the 80s horror themes and the overall lack of death, this episode is more wholesome than other Gubler episodes whilst still maintaining his classic spark. The end of the case itself was really emotional and heartwarming and I’m glad that MGG gave Hotch’s character some semblance of a goodbye because we know how close he was to Thomas Gibson.
9. Blood Relations, 9x20: probably the most messed up episode ever. Picture every dark theme you can put into a piece of media and you get this episode. It honestly made me feel sick and I think that’s why I liked it so much; I like episodes that make leave an effect and this one definitely did that. I can’t even describe what happened in this episode without getting banned but oh my. This only isn’t higher because I preferred the storylines in the previous episodes.
10. The Capilanos, 13x17: this episode had a good premise and I think the introduction where there is no music and you’re left with the odd squeaks of the clown was amazing. I liked the calls to IT, my only issue with this episode is it had the opportunity to be really tense and scary but the middle chunk of the episode just wasn’t. The end of the case was good though and it started to pick up a lot.
11. Alchemy, 8x20: this episode had a good storyline and the visuals definitely had influences from horror movies such as The Shining. The only reason it’s not higher is because it didn’t hit me as hard as the others, but it’s still a really good episode to watch.
12. The Gatekeeper, 9x07: the storyline was good, it just felt more like classic Criminal Minds than a Gubler episode. The main star of this episode is the team bonding that we get to see with Rossi helping Reid grieve Maeve and then the karaoke scene was so beautiful.
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(I'm writing this after painting for 10 hours straight, so I hope it makes some sense, lol.)
I've been thinking a lot about My Stand-In while painting today, and how I have different expectations of this story than some comments I've seen here and some reactions I've watched on YouTube (I've learned my lesson to avoid MDL like the plague, so I, fortunately, have no idea what's going on there). But I especially thought about why I don't particularly mind some of the things that have happened or haven't been addressed in the series so far. And I realized it's just a part of who I am and what I'm used to.
As someone who was raised on Days of Our Lives (which is weird because I'm not American), I don't mind things like the kidnapping or the transmigration in My Stand-In (and that the transmigration might never be addressed or explained).
I mean, I'm used to kidnappings, people being possessed, and long, lost, dead people coming back to life. That's just a normal Tuesday.
I don't need a revenge plot to be satisfied with the series. I don't even want a revenge plot (it would be very out of character for Joe). Fortunately, I'm pretty sure this isn't the story they want to tell.
Furthermore, in my opinion (colored by being raised in the delulu land of DOOL), I don't even need the transmigration to be addressed or explained for me to enjoy the series. I don't need Joe's feelings about what it's like for his soul to live in a new body. I don't need him to deal with the repercussions of being in a new body (that might not even be the story they want to tell). I don't need any of that because I'm used to ludicrous shit (especially the fun ludicrous shit). And I'm used to ludicrous shit that doesn't always get addressed or explained.
(I get that not everyone was raised on DOOL, and good for you if you weren't. So if you need to have the transmigration addressed, that's great. Be disappointed if it isn't. You have every right to be. Don't mind me and my ridiculous soap opera preferences.)
That's not to say that My Stand-In is ludicrous, because it isn't. It's a pretty normal story for someone like me who was raised on soap operas (and whose tolerance for ludicrous stuff is pretty high).
I mean, even if Joe is kidnapped for the umpteenth time and kept in a golden cage (yes, Stefano and Marlena, I'm looking at you), I'll have a blast with it. But I'm pretty sure this will never happen in My Stand-In.
Even if May has drugged Tong to get herself pregnant with his child (and that being the reason they get married) only to find out years later that it's actually his brother's child (btw, does Tong even have a brother?) (Yes, Sami, Austin, and Lucas, I'm looking at you.), I'll have a blast with it. But I'm pretty sure this will never happen either.
And even if Ming's dad turns out to be a Stefano DiMera-esque character and Sol turns out to be Joe's half-brother (because shit like that is normal in delulu Salem), I'll have a blast with it. But, again, I'm pretty sure this will never happen.
My Stand-In is no soap opera (unfortunately). But I enjoy the heck out of it as it is right now anyway. And I would enjoy the heck out of it even if it became completely ludicrous.
The only thing that disappoints me at this point is that Joe 2.0 doesn't even have white eyes even though he's possessed by another person's soul... (Yes, Marlena, I'm looking at you again.)
On a more serious note, though (let's see if I can pull this off, lol).
Based on what I've seen so far (and since I'm only on chapter 41 in the novel, which is around the end of the 4th episode, I don't know much else about the source material), I feel like the story they want to tell us is more about Joe's role as a stand-in in all the different parts of his life, about how unfair life can be, about grief, second chances, and an obstinate refusal to giving up.
I still don't think they will give us a revenge plot. I feel like the farthest they will go is for Joe to resist Ming and make him grovel for as long as possible (as he should!). They might address parts of the transmigration later. But, again, that's not really important to me.
I'm more interested in Joe mourning his old body/life rather than figuring out how his new body works. But that's just me.
I'm more interested in Ming losing his shit in his grief, repeating old patterns, and (hopefully) breaking those patterns when he gets his shit together. But that's just me.
I'm more interested in the chaos (more catfighting between Ming and Sol, please). But that's just me.
Hell, give me more of the blind shaman, who evidently sees clearer than Ming does (why did that idiot take off the glasses he wore before he left the country?! He clearly needs them...). He is more interesting to me than whatever Joe might be feeling being in a new body. Please, oh wise man, tell me more about what you see! And speak in riddles because I love a good old mindfuck. But, again, that's just me.
If a golden cage shows up or Joe 2.0's eyes start to change color or children show up claiming random people as their parents, I will probably start talking about how ludicrous this series is (but I'll still have such a fucking blast with it). This will never happen, though, because My Stand-In isn't a soap opera.
Do I need My Stand-In to be more unhinged to enjoy it? No, because I already enjoy it as it is. Do I mind if it gets into ludicrous territory? Absolutely not. I'm raised on that shit.
My Stand-In can practically throw whatever it wants at me (or not) and I'll just sit back and enjoy the ride. Because I already do.
(Btw, I Googled the cage in DOOL and I can't believe I remember that it was golden! That storyline was from 1996?! I was around 10 years old when I watched that shit (since my country was 3-4 years behind in the release of the episodes). It must've made a real impact on me, lmfao! Also, I love that when Supernatural fans raved about Jensen Ackles, I just knew him as Eric Brady, lol!)
#I wrote this after painting for 10 hours straight#so it might not make sense#the things that pop into my head when i'm in right brain land#my stand in#my stand in the series#thai ql#thai bl#thai series#my shit
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marvel's midnight suns | misc quotes 1
I will not be howling at the moon any time soon.
Have to say, for a haunted Transian Castle raised on the cursed grounds of Old Salem it's pretty cozy.
I really should up my homeowner's insurance.
You smell... wrong.
You know what they say. All work and no play... is how we ended up with Ultron.
We invented stealth.
I don't actually care, but they need to stop moping. So. Can they play with your dog?
Admit what? That I feel a sense of admiration and respect for a fellow teammate?
Yeah, I didn't figure someone so great and powerful would be into a book club.
You're hung up on the were-roosters... Alright, let's hear what you got.
Is this visit business or pleasure?
How’s your mental health? A good portion of this “darkness hunting” game is mental health and processing intense situations.
But, hell on Earth isn’t a garden stroll.
I’ve spent decades experimenting and putting it together. Any of ’em interest you?
I’m telling you. I don’t know what’s coming next, but I do know when the shit hits the fan with Chthon...
You’re acting like I did it for fun...
Comfortable? I’ll never be comfortable around that monster. . .
You’re turning out to be one of my favorite people. . .
Why do you think? They take vicious killers and present them as tragic and misunderstood.
It’s just... Off, somehow. I swear, the moonlight on a clear evening is too dim for this time of year...
Was your first thought about killing me?
What I’m asking is, if I lost control, would you stop me?
Let’s talk about how your mother just turned one of my best friends against us.
These people look to me for guidance, but it feels like I’m stumbling around in the dark.
Just the fact that you are willing to learn means you’re on the right track.
So how do I tell him I’m totally cool with being best pals without scaring him off...
It wouldn’t take many guards to secure the building. So the question is: What else are they doing in there?
It’s not big enough to swim laps. Its only real purpose is for lounging and soaking up the sun.
It figures she’d send you. Did she tell you I want nothing to do with it? Because I still don’t.
Every time I think I’ve got my mind wrapped around this conflict, I get thrown a curveball.
But right now? I want to let you know how proud I am to be serving alongside you and watching your leadership.
Maybe this is what we’re supposed to be doing, fighting an endless war.
What do you make of our chances to get out of this mess in one piece?
That’s an easy question with a complex answer. Tell me this–what type of leader would you follow?
I always did what I thought was right. No more, no less.
Well, not so much fish as that ginormous, invulnerable sewer monster that swallowed the Sanctum.
I’m told I can be rather persuasive when I need to be.
It’s all just starting to blur into one big giant green gamma mess…
I’m having it right now and-wait. I think… oh no. Did I feed my cat before I left?
Would you have been able to take the shot? Because I don’t think I could’ve.
I’m going to be up all night trying to make sense of it, see if it helps us find our way back into the Sanctum.
But the more I see him in action, the more I think he might be an okay dude.
I’m telling you if I have to spend one more hour scanning digital maps…
All you have to do is be ready to fight for what you care about when the time comes.
Yeah, I know. Nasty artifacts like that aren’t known for their safety features…
I have to admit, I don’t think you’d be such a formidable poker player. Yet another reason to respect you.
This is the life, licking it with the legendary Hero, and kicking said legendary Hero’s ass at a fighting game.
Believe it or not, I don’t have a lot peeps I can call friends, not close ones at least.
I feel like you get how just how heavy all that extra baggage…
Sadly, the sense of wonder eventually wears off like most things.
… Sorry if I’m ruining any romantic notions of space travel.
I’m not just my powers. Sometimes I like to take it slow…
I’ve tried blindfolds, facing away from the board, and one-finger throws. Perfect score, every time.
The forbidden nap, if you will. Mercenary work is a grab bag of awful stuff…
Because looking at it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
I can play nice all day when we’re out there kicking bad guy booty…
Uh, haven’t you listened to anything I’ve said? Money!
I forgot. You aren’t as self-aware as I am…
Well, your friends have been avoiding me like the plague…
He waved goodbye and peaced out to live a life of solitude…
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And as a bonus because I felt it wouldn't fit with my last ask: It is mean to say Blake's character development when it comes to being in a relationship might have gone backward? I mean, you would think after Adam she would want to be more upfront with wanting to stand on equal terms with Yang. But Blake mostly went along with what ever Yang wanted in Vol 7-8. It makes her advice to Nora feel hallow and that she's back to where she was before she met the others. The only difference is that Yang is a way better person then Adam. I know I've probably brought this in an ask before, but it's something that I've thought about in recent days. Blake really got the short end when it came to her character.
I saw both of your questions so I’m just gonna combine them in this post.
You’re right about Blake not having much of a personal investment to Salem. That could’ve been solved by making Adam run back to Salem with the other villains in V5 instead of completely divorcing him from the main plot. There’s irony in him working with humans but they could double down on him simply wanting the world and enemies to suffer. I would’ve paid money to see Jacques’s face hearing a soldier say “Adam Taurus is in the manor.” You can argue Weiss needed more of reason at the beginning but that remedies itself by her learning Winter is supposed to be a maiden. She doesn’t need a specific villain. Her reason is making sure her sister doesn’t get murdered.
As for Blake’s relationship status, o stand by my opinion it makes the most sense for her to want to be single for a while. Nora’s character arch is a very nice message, but it honestly should’ve gone to Blake who needs it more because the entire show makes Blake act based on the partner they attach her to.
V1-V2 had her act based on what Adam trauma and she only stopped because Yang told her to get a grip. Her even finding the WF was with Sun’s help.
Blake wasn’t planning on doing much or letting people help her in V4 without Sun kicking her butt into gear for the next volume; also implying a little bit of romantic behavior since V1. Then V6 has her trying to be a good partner to Yang and once again deal with her ex. After that traumatic experience, the show has her flirting with Yang. I know V7 has time skips but the flirting started after the haircut which was only a few days after V6
The decision to tell Robyn was brought up and pushed by Yang without any say from the other teammates which personally bugged me. Yang is obviously a better person than Adam by far but you can make the argument Blake gravitates to strong willed and outwardly passionate people, which creates an environment where she has less agency, or more likely to be a follower. Especially in later seasons because she would actively be trying to be a better partner instead of a better teammate to all.
So yeah I also found it a little odd for her to be one saying “You have to know who you are outside of the other person” when the audience doesn’t really get Blake making strong decisions and statements that come from her own way of thinking and not outside sources. Her strongest choice was cutting the train to leave the WF.
Nora’s never had a problem telling Ren and her friends when she thinks something is dumb or wrong and that they should be doing something else. She took the lead in the V6 conversation telling Jaune to heal, and is perfectly fine slapping Ren to his senses when he needs to get a grip.
If you read this far, just know I actually like bmblb and I think Nora’s development was sweet, but I really wish Blake stood up on her own more often.
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Mentioned characters apart from Leonova and Kalerich belong to @corneille-but-not-the-author @soupedepates @azeler @hel-phoenyx @thal-ent
______
When I finally get back on the ship’s deck, I'm all alone. My hands are sore, my hair is unkempt, my dress is wrinkled and the sweat on my forehead made my make-up run down a little. My entire body aches, yet I know I won't have much time for rest. The rest of the crew is still partying at the casino, and they ought to stay there.
“Welcome back. You sure took your time.”
As always, coming from Kalerich, it's a statement. Not a reprimand. He would never dare, and he better not, because I'm not in the mood. His eyes widen a little in surprise as he sees me.
“... You lost.”
Yes. I lost. Splendidly, in fact.
“You don’t have to rub it in.”
I knew the fairy was a distraction. If it weren’t for her, I surely would have won. For her, and Tyrfing Harkyrsen’s sheer luck. I suspect one of the others aided him. How, I don't know.
At least, I got to see his face distort when I mentioned how he never told anyone about what happened. Traitors always get their punishment, one way or another, and this one is particularly twisted. Accepting a bet to save his old friend but not even being able to look the current ones in the eyes, how very hypocrite.
My brother gets closer, attempts to fix my hair. I let him.
“Well, you still look like you had a good time somehow. Did you?”
A good time, huh.
I suppose I did.
That little unwinding with the fairy… Domhildr, did feel good. Maybe I was a little too rough, but well, I took all the necessary precautions and even accompanied her back to her ship. She did give a magnificent performance, during the game. It’s my fault for underestimating her.
It was so impressive I even promised her little crew I wouldn't harm her.
I promised.
Am I going soft?
No. I just can’t afford to die yet, is all.
And I would die, if I killed her.
“It was… fun.”
Fun. That's something I didn’t have in a long time.
Not just the sex, but the rest, too. It was fun. I had fun. Until I lost.
But what did I really lose?
Meili’s stone-cold face when I talked about his eye was delightful. Oli seems open to learning new spells. I had a good time with Domhildr. The game with Tyrfing was the best I’ve had in a while. The little show Valentina Salem offered with that knife was certainly admirable.
So what do I lose, except a trivial amount of money, and…
“What about Brynja?” Kalerich asks.
… Brynja. Of course. That was the deal, wasn’t it?
“Well. I’ll hold up my part of the deal. As soon as she wakes up, I'll let her know she's free to do as she pleases.”
Free to do as you please. Ha. That isn’t a sentence you hear a lot coming from a Delavriskov. None of us is truly free, after all, not even me.
No matter how this duel ends, Brynja might never come back on the ship. That's a shame. She was a good asset.
But I can't control love, now can I? If I could, it’d be much easier.
The card of the Great Snake, buried in my deck, seems to sneer at me.
“I’m going to get some shut-eye. You should too.”
I’ll escort Brynja tomorrow, and I bet Kaizarz Laangfisk will not be pleased to see me. So intent on protecting his little friends, on doing what’s right.
But what will be if not two monsters looking at each other?
“I’ll miss her. Brynja.”
I blink. Kalerich spoke slowly, his eyes scrutinizing my face, searching for a reaction.
“Will you?”
…
I don't reply.
Does it matter?
Will I miss her?
Maybe, for a while. But then I'll move on.
Missing something, somebody, isn’t that all I do, either way? What’s one more?
Isn't that the real curse of being on this boat? To miss?
“I’m tired, and I am going to be very busy tomorrow. So if you’ll let me get to bed, I'll appreciate it.”
Kalerich stares at me for a while, then shrugs.
“Sure. Remember that you can always talk to me, if you get sad.”
Sad?
Ridiculous. I don't get sad.
I close the door to my cabin, breathing slowly. This won't do. I need to get my magic under control.
You know what you are.
You know what you lost.
Look at you, struggling to get it back.
Look at them, how they have it all. You could have had all of this.
But you're too far gone.
Ignore the whispers. Ignore them. They’ll go away. You're the one in control.
Jealous, Leonova ?
Going soft, Leonova?
Something shatters against the wall. Some glass trinket I bought and just destroyed. They are no different.
Calm. Down.
You’re in control.
You don’t lose. You never lose.
Stay focused, Leonova.
Work won't finish itself.
Miss. Miss. Miss.
They are everything you missed.
#noa writes stuff#lysara#leonova#she's a very sore loser#and so oh so deep in her own denial#creature that can never be satiated“#:)#odyssey of the liberator
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Weekly tag Wednesday !!
Thank u for the tags @spookygingerr and @especially-fuk-u !!
Name: dean :D
Age: 18
Your time zone: EST
What do you do for work: I’m in school right now so nothing, but this summer (probably in a couple weeks) I’m working at a pool store and maybe an ice cream shop
Do you have any pets?: yes!! I have a calico cat named Salem, she’s my best friend and so cute I love her so much
What first drew you to the fandom: I kept seeing clips of shameless on TikTok, I finally caved and started watching it over the summer, and I got hooked ever since (averaged a season and a half in a day), lurked around the fandom for a while but then started majorly interacting. I’ve never been normal about anything I’ve ever consumed, this is no exception (autism goes brrrr)
Morning person or night owl?: night owl baby!! Earliest you’ll get me up is 10am, I’ll go to sleep around 3-4 am (I also have insomnia)
What are your hobbies?: any type of art or craft, I paint, sew, draw, bookbind and just random miscellaneous stuff, my last art project was making spikes for my jacket from soda cans. I also read, like, a lot, mainly fanfiction bc special interest, but also I love non fiction (essays, memoirs, political theory) and some fiction (I love love love horror), I’m a major Jack of all trades, just constantly looking for something new to try
How tall are you?: 5’6” baby!
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?: anywhere warm and with a beach, I love summer and I’m built for it, I’ve considered New Orleans a lot for some reason, maybe California but I also hate west coast culture so um there’s that
Favorite color: yellow !! My and my siblings were color coded to prevent fights, and yellow was my color as a kid and it’s just stayed my favorite, and people always unanimously agree yellow is a color that Suits Me, saying i have yellow and sunshine energy, it also just best on me compared to other colors
Favorite book: this is such a hard choice, im going to say the perks of being a wallflower I think, ultimate comfort book really, but I also love to talk and think about Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
Favorite movie?: it’s a horror movie called the empty man, it’s SO weird and SO fucked up with the most normal and sane horror protagonist
Favorite fic: I could never choose, one I’ve been thinking about A Lot is the origins of girldadism, but I also love meanest hunk of woman and enemy lines I’ll recommend them till the day I die
Favorite musical artist: I love love love Green Day i could talk abt them forever I’m going to see them in concert this summer and I’m SO freaking excited, honorable mentions are Noah kahan and old dominion
What is your average screen time so far this week?: 8 hours and 10 minutes. Higher than I was expecting considering all I’ve been doing is studying
What’s the first app you open in the morning: Spotify! I need music all the time ever, it helps me get going in the morning on weekdays, and on weekends either tumblr, discord, or Instagram depending on who’s texted me
How long have you been on tumblr: I think this summer will be 6 years?
finally (and i know this one is hard) tell me a fun fact about yourself: I’m learning my third language (Ukrainian) and planning a fourth (French, probably in college (I’m so done with Spanish bffr)) I also make my own recycled paper! I think that’s always fun to mention
I’m tagging:
@mickeym4ndy @astaraels @em-harlsnow @mickittotheman @transmickey
@transmurderbug
@atthedugouts @jademickian @liza420
And anyone else who wants to !! Ur welcome to do so !! And no pressure, you can otherwise consider this a friendly hello, fist bump, dap, and/or an “I’m thinking of you”
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