#you can just have different attraction types to different genders. it's simple!
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NOOO WHY'S THERE BI LESBIAN EXCLUSION IN THE ORIENTED AROACE TAG.
#DUDE. YOU'RE LITERALLY IN THE ORIENTATION THAT IS MASSIVELY BUILT ON THE SPLIT ATTRACTION MODEL#AND YET YOU CAN'T EVEN COMPREHEND THAT ALLOS COULD HAVE THE SPLIT ATTRACTION MODEL?????#(not saying all the bi lesbians are alloallo just trying to point out op's foolishness)#(also there's probably people identifying as bi lesbian for reasons other than that which is also valid#but pointing this out because it's in the oriented aroace tag)#like. it won't cover all the nuances but i can think of an extremely simple explanation for bi lesbians existing#you can just have different attraction types to different genders. it's simple!#dw i'm not getting too angry at this i'm just baffled by their chopt logic#anyway. bi lesbians are extremely valid and if you don't agree get out#queer discourse#<- not looking for any debates here just tagging for filtering purposes. get gone if you disagree. or think and change your mind.#tw discourse#cw discourse#if anyone knows the specific tags people have filtered for mspec and bi lesbian discourse let me know#just hovered over their accounts to block them. the asker is a minor so i guess i can understand them being stupid#but the answerer is 24 you should have developed critical thinking and common sense by now#rancid takes#<- gonna use this as a general tag for filtering
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people fixate on bi-lesbians as being problematic despite bi-gay men existing (as well as any and every combination of sexuality and romantic attraction you can think of) because terfs and radfems deliberately don't want bi women to associate with lesbians and are deeply invested with framing attraction to men As Bad. a sentiment which has invaded queer culture inside and out, intentionally And incidentally.
people fixate on straight cis aromantic men when straight cis aromantic women exist because framing aromantic people as inherently predatory and dangerous by the simple nature of existing is easier to do when you intentionally force the association with predatory dangerous behavior displayed by (and associated with) misogynistic men.
people are still bigoted against bi-gay men and woman aromatics (and any flavor of trans within these groups), but pay attention to the way these conversations are Framed and it's clear the way gender essentialism is being used as a tool to control the narrative.
radfems' gender essentialism says you're supposed to think men are inherently scary, inherently take advantage of women, so Naturally (it is assumed) a man who is sexually attracted to women but not romantically attracted them Must Inherently be predatory and scary. and now you're being asked to take that feeling of unease you've been manipulated into feeling and associate it with the entirety of a sexuality.
bi-lesbians are threatening to radfems because they want to draw inherent lines between these two groups. insist that attraction to and with a man is inherently dirty and dangerous. the same reason why "gold star lesbian" is a radfem concept. if it turns out that the lines between sexualities, between identity as a whole, is blurrier than they want it to be then that Must be framed as inherently dangerous.
if a single Kind of a marginalized group is being singled out to convince you that this group is dangerous or that they don't belong It's For A Reason. they're trying to manipulate you based on Biases (their biases and the ones they hope you have). the reaction to this isn't to abandon the type of person they're convinced are the worst of these groups, it's in solidarity.
aromantics who are men aren't any different from aromantics who are women, bi-lesbians deserve to live in peace just as much as bi-gay men. don't let people control the narrative Either by cutting down vast array of experiences that exist within any given identity, Or by convincing you that particular kinds of people within your communities are lesser than.
#discourse#long post#gender essentialism#sexism#transphobia#aphobia#trans unity#queer unity#inclusionism
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Laios x Fat Reader HCs (reader of nonspecified gender with boobs and pussy)
18+ 😈
First of all. It's been said but. Fat is totally his type. real and factual and canon 100% i stake my life on it
i mean, he's not that superficial. Laios will fall for someone's personality and not their body. but trust, if he's walking down the street and someone attractive catches his attention so much so that all he can do is think "waow.... theyre really hot......" and stare (and he will stare, unsubtly and without shame, like, he'll turn his head as he passes you by and then trip over his own feet or walk into a lamppost or smth) then that person guaranteed has a lil more fat on their body
if youre uncomfotable with your body..... get comfortable. he's a handsy lover. he wants to touch you and feel you. and he's not shy about loving the way you squish under his hands and in his arms
its not even necessarily an erotic thing much of the time, when he feels you up and pokes and prods you (gently) all over; it's a simple pleasure to his brain to feel the warmth and weight of your breast in his open hand, to press your tummy and pinch the fat on your hips between his thumb and fingers, just to watch the supple flesh deform under his touch and bounce back into place. he'll trace up and down your stretch marks because he likes the way the skin texture feels different there, and touch the pads of his fingers to the dimples of cellulite on your butt and thighs just to feel how your skin embraces his fingertips. he can be pretty mindless about it, his hands drifting across your body as you lie together (yes, he uses you as a stim toy)
of course if you hate this kinda treatment that much, he’ll stop. he won’t torment you. but if, say, you ask him to only touch you in ways and places that dont remind you of your fatness too much, he’ll have an intuition that its because of feelings of insecurity whether you say so or not. and it makes him so so sad because all he wants is to show you how wonderful your body is to him, how delightful it is to touch you in all your softness, how the very presence of you squished up next to him is such a comfort that its all he can do to grab at you and pull you closer and closer to him in crushing embrace- there is no part of you that is so disgusting that Laios wouldnt want to explore.
on the topic of insecurity. if youre feeling bad about the way you look, whether its just a bad image day, or if you find out that you gained some weight and have to get new clothes made from the tailor, he will reassure you. but it will not be a tactful and gentle kind of reassurance, he’s not going “noooo baby but youre still so beautiful tho 🥺.” boy is so so delighted to inform you of all the reasons why its GOOD that youre fat. he has like a whole presentation prepared and he’s talking a mile a minute about how he loves that youre not afraid to eat a full days worth of nutritious meals, and how its good to put on weight to crawl the dungeon, about the energy you expend doing all that walking and fighting and the calories it takes to get revived if you die, talking about how you can go longer in the cold before succumbing to hypothermia and longer without food before youre incapacitated by hunger, how having a thick layer of fat means your vital organs are better protected from slashing and stabbing and blunt force damage alike, getting more passionate as he goes on. and by the time your eyes are glassy and ears are fuzzy from all the knowledge he imparted upon you he grabs you by the shoulders, fingers digging into your deltoids, glowering down at you with a look of such intensity that you shrink away, he finishes his rant with a deathly seriousness: “and….. it makes you really sexy, too..!”
and he does think youre so so fucking sexy; congratulations because it genuinely doesnt happen often! ususally he's too busy thinking about monsters and dungeon ecology and how to make his next incursion below more successful.... if you're reading to this point still somehow thinking that by "fat" i mean "exclusively chubby" then don't worry... i mean, yes he will drool over your cute little tummy pooch and your thick thighs, and he daydreams about sucking your full, round boobs - but he also starts sweating the first time he sees the way your breasts sag under your shift, he wants to taste your skin, he wants to leave bite marks on your back rolls, and side rolls, and he wants to dive in the folds of your belly, and when he sees your luscious pubic mound he gets dizzy and lightheaded because all the blood is going to his cock-
he'd happily die suffocating between your thighs
don't feel anxious about the way you smell around him - you don't, at least no more than anyone else after a long day of walking, but if you did, Laios is a known freak and he's totally into that. you'll never forget the first time you found this out; you were enjoying a simple embrace with him before washing up at the end of the day, your arms thrown around his neck as he leaned down and pressed his forehead into your shoulder, inhaling deep a few relaxed breaths before something changed, his body tense underneath you. you almost pulled away to ask what's wrong but - he grabbed you at the elbow and outright manhandled your arm to stop you from pulling away or pinning your arm to your side, and it's then that you realized to your utter mortefaction that he'd stuck his nose in the crook of your arm and was sniffing your armpit. you almost made a fuss asking him what the hell is he doing?!?! except for the fact that chilchuck was over in the corner organizing his pack and marcille was facing the wall combing out her hair in the mirror and neither of them have seemed to notice anything and you would never, never, never live it down from either of them if you were to draw their attention. but ultimately you couldn't help the way your heart softened to your big weirdo man when he finally pulled his face out of your pit, flushed red to his ears, his irises a thin golden ring around his wide dilated pupils, as he breathed out "I dunno why, but it smells so good..."
when he eats you out, he's literally huffing your pussy scent. he takes his time smelling you as he kisses his way down your thighs. and when he's buried in your folds, sometimes it's almost concerning and you think there's something wrong. is he starved for air, can he breathe down there??? (i did say he'd be happy to die there....) no. thats just how into it he is. one time you ask him what it smells like to him, thinking maybe his perception is significantly different, perhaps because of his hormonal profile or something, and he pauses to think for a moment before elaborating: "it smells like, musky and animalic... a little sweet, and kind of funky, like a little sour and salty almost like sweat, it's so great!" maybe not what you expected, but he only sounded more and more giddy about it as he went on.
he can tell roughly where you are in your cycle based on your smell. this comes far enough into your relationship that nothing can surprise you anymore.
he just loves watching you as he fucks you. the way the shockwave of each thrust ripples throughout your whole body, your tits jiggling back and forth with each gasp of pleasure, and the way it sounds so obscene with your wetness spread out over your plush thighs clicking when his hips make contact and when he pulls away. theres no time or space in your head to be self conscious when you're making those sweet uh uh uh uh sounds every time his cock bottoms out inside you. he loves to pull back and watch it happen, the way his shaft glistens with your slick between your pillowy lips, savouring the stroke of delicious pleasure shooting through his nerves as he glides back in, watching as his pubic bone meets your cushiony mons and the way you shake under it all, your body so completely open to him, he could hardly imagine a more erotic sight or a more beautiful person to share this part of him with
thats all i got for now hope u enjoyed <333
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Mind if I ask for a yandere romantic concept of Luffy from one piece, please??? He needs more love and I'm desperate XD 🦢
I am HOPING I did this man justice. Hope you enjoy it either way though.
Extra Concept About Rivals Here
Yandere! Monkey D. Luffy Concept
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Stalking, Clingy behavior, Jealousy, Manipulation, Violence, Attempted murder, Blood, Delusional behavior, Dubious/Forced relationship
I feel Luffy struggles to entirely understand romantic love.
He cares for his crew and loves them like they're found family.
Yet with you, the feeling seems... stronger?
He doesn't entirely get it, Even when Sanji attempts to explain it.
Although, knowing the cook, he probably explained it like some romance tale.
Which just left Luffy a bit confused.
Let's discuss yandere type.
I can definitely say Luffy is a protective yandere.
He's caring and can read you well.
Naturally, like with most of his crew, Luffy would move heaven and Earth to protect you and see you smile.
He just enjoys seeing you smile.
I'm pretty sure he'd do anything to see you happy.
Luffy seems like a simple character.
He doesn't think things through, he's reckless, oblivious at times, carefree...
But he cares a lot about those he views as family.
Simple minded maybe, yet he's a loyal and compassionate leader.
Luffy's obsession would manifest in a simple way at first.
He doesn't think much of it.
He's excited to be around you, always wants to spend time with you, he's protective of you when you explore new islands...
He's oblivious and doesn't see anything wrong or special about this.
In fact, his crew may notice his behavior before him.
To anyone else, it looks like Luffy has a crush whenever he stares at you longingly.
He's usually always smiles and laughs, yet with you he seems extra excited.
Others may also notice Luffy being more... clingy.
He's extra affectionate with you.
There's many times Luffy will pull you into hugs and neglect his other crewmates.
It's like whenever you're around, he latches on to you.
He doesn't see anything different or wrong with it too.
Even with jealousy... He understands he gets upset when he sees others so close to you.
But he doesn't entirely understand why other than thinking you could be hurt?
Or maybe he knows he wants your attention, but isn't sure why.
He's quite the clueless and oblivious yandere at times.
He might have a better idea of it later after the timeskip.
But until then he just thinks you two are really close friends or something.
It's not like he's ever had a proper example, y'know?
He's seen flirting, kissing, attractive people...
Yet he just doesn't get it.
I feel this man is not only clueless when it comes to romantic feelings and dating... but also anything past that.
He just knows he likes being around you, he likes holding you, he likes it when you smile...
He hates sharing... He gets anxious when away from you... He feels he has to follow you around...
Recently he's been staring at your lips lately, which is a bit weird...
I feel someone would have to explain to him what he's feeling.
Hell, even if you were flirting with him or was just being affectionate, he's confused.
Although he often finds himself thinking back on it later.
Once it's explained to him, he has a better idea on what he's feeling...
Then his obsession goes into overdrive.
He's now curious on how to properly explore such feelings towards you.
He may even ask you about it.
He isn't sure what couples do, so maybe without your knowledge, he'd just treat you like you're already together.
As he's properly understanding his feelings, Luffy does not let you go.
He's clingy and craves attention from his obsession.
His hugs are suffocating due to his anatomy.
That and ever since he learned what his feelings could mean... He gets into fights with his crew and others more often.
It usually happens when you're talking to people and there's some playful language.
It might not even be flirting.
Only for Luffy to appear out of nowhere with a glare.
He becomes like an irritated guard dog at times.
I'm pretty sure Luffy would kill a man if left unsupervised.
He's easily jealous and also can easily be set off.
When it comes to protecting those he loves, Luffy would do anything.
He doesn't care much about blood on his hands.
What he cares about is you being safe.
Or to be more specific... safe, happy, and by his side.
As stated in a previous concept, you should probably start prying him off people when he's set off.
If you'd like them to live.
You'd have no idea about you two "dating", but Luffy's convinced dating is just what you two have been doing this whole time.
Although, you get hints when he asks about what partners and couples do.
When you answer, his response is simple and oddly innocent.
"Can we do that?"
Even if you try to let him off easy, he doesn't believe you.
He's admittedly a bit cute with how affectionate and clueless he is.
But he's just so dangerous.
You don't expect him to hurt you, yet those who aren't you are an entirely different story.
Luffy would never let you leave the crew.
Even when the timeskip happens, He will latch onto you.
He's pleading and refuses to let go.
Good luck prying a rubber man off you.
He's just going to coil tighter until you give up.
Luffy probably kidnaps but doesn't consider what he did to be that.
Manipulating you onto the boat with guilt trips and force isn't kidnapping in his eyes.
Again, he's oblivious and clueless.
Beating someone to a bloody pulp isn't attempted murder to him.
He's just protecting you and showing that you're partners!
Partners must be loyal to one another!
That's what he's heard, at least...
God FORBID another crew or island takes you as a hostage.
Luffy would demolish them to take you back.
He can have bloodlust when he's pushed.
Overall, I always saw Luffy as a rather clueless and oblivious yandere.
He's affectionate, clingy, some may call him cute and loyal...
Yet even when clueless half the time and not intentionally malicious or possessive, he is a dangerous man on the seas and land when it comes to you.
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OMG! imagine a spencer x reader where they are super flirty and the team goes out to the bar and they finally kiss!!!
Late Nights and Long Overdue Conversations
Spencer Agnew x Reader
A/N this is a sort of short one but it’s sweet and simple. i struggle so hard with ranting flirty banter but i also find it so funny because everyone tells me i have a flirty personality. I will be switching back to writing these in the format of using ‘you’ instead of ‘they/them’! I will continue to make these gender fluid friendly for all of my pals though:) also, thank you so much for the support here recently??? I got a notification saying that I reached over 500 likes and that is fucking insane to me. I cannot thank you guys enough for reading these and showing them love<3 i love you guys loads!
Also, remember, I’m ass at editing these. So, overlook the mistakes.
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The week had been beyond stressful for everyone. Everyone was constantly in shoots from 7am-7pm, working nonstop. There were photoshoots going on, video shoots, announcements going up for different kinds of merch, literally everything you could think of. It was finally Friday and a few people from the office decided to go out to this bar, that is near the office. Erin, Chanse, Angela, Courtney, Spencer, Trevor, Arasha, Shayne, and Y/N all stood on a sidewalk, waiting to enter the bar.
“Is she coming or not?” Chanse asked looking around at everyone.
Amanda had agreed to come as well but somehow disappeared before anyone had the chance to talk to her.
“I’m not sure, shoot her a text and ask.” Angela said looking over at Chanse, who stood between Trevor and Shayne.
“Actually, don’t. I just got a text from her.” Courtney said giggling and holding her phone up. “She says, “Have a great night. Sorry for disappearing but I was ready to get home, get my ass in bed in comfortable pjs, drink some wine, and watch this new true crime documentary I found.” She also sent this picture.” Courtney holds up phone up for everyone to see and everyone just laughs and shakes their head at Courtney. It was a photo of Amanda sitting in bed with a huge wine glass, looking like that stereotypical aunt that is the drunk at family get togethers.
“Hey, Y/N. It looks like you don’t have any competition tonight.” Erin mumbled in your direction while elbowing you and wiggling her eyebrows.
“What do you mean?” You ask confused.
Everyone looked in your direction and just chuckled. “Amanda is always going on about how attractive Spencer is. Now, you can take her place for the night and tell him yourself.” Erin said, shrugging her shoulders and stepped into the bar with everyone following.
You just tried to brush her comment off but the end of her sentence really stuck with you. “You can just tell him yourself.” Something about Spencer really is hitting differently tonight. He isn’t wearing a hoodie for once. He was wearing a striped short sleeve with a jean jacket and corduroy pants. He always looks adorable whenever he’s wearing comfortable clothing but he just looks really hot tonight.
Everyone grabbed drinks from the bar then split up. Erin, Chanse, Angela, and Courtney took shots then ran to the dance floor while Shayne, Spencer, Trevor, Arasha, and you grabbed a table over to the side.
“I just realized, I don’t think I have ever seen you drunk before, Y/N.” Arasha said while watching you take a sip of your margarita. “You’re like the shy, reserved type.”
You laughed for a second and shook your head, “That’s a good thing though. I’m a hot mess whenever I’m drunk.”
Spencer immediately jumps into the conversation, “You’re always a hot mess.” He stopped for a minute and just stared at you. “That was supposed to be a compliment or like, you know, calling you hot. I realize though that it comes off as an insult.”
Everyone, including you, lost it over Spencer sticking his foot in his mouth. “I didn’t take it rudely. I guess I know what you mean.” You snorted and took another sip of your margarita. “You’re a hot mess yourself.”
Shayne, Trevor, and Arasha got into their own little conversation, so Spencer turned a little to face you. “I’m shocked you aren’t over there with Erin and Courtney. I’ve noticed in the past you’re always glued to their sides whenever we’ve gone out.”
“As Erin said, I gotta be right here, making sure to constantly just remind you how hot you are.” You said nonchalantly and taking a drink while trying to not smile.
Spencer’s face got red but you didn’t comment on it, you just found it kind of odd. “I mean, I definitely am not complaining if it’s coming from you.”
There was some kind of weird tension in the air between the two of you but you didn’t think twice about it. You were both a little tipsy, so it was probably just the drinks.. right?
You could hear feet come running up beside you and felt hands on your bicep. “Y/N, you have to walk outside with me, Angela, and Erin. We need fresh air but we don’t want to walk outside alooooone.” Courtney whine from beside you.
You just laughed and stood up. “Well, Mr. Agnew, sorry to cut our conversation short but it looks like I have to go for a minute.”
Spencer looks at you dead serious and in the chosen voice says, “I hate to watch you go but love to watch you leave.”
Courtney started giggling like crazy and started pulling you towards to door to walk outside, where Angela and Erin were standing. The four of you walk outside and sit on these two benches that were off to the side of the building.
“So, what was that in there?” Erin asked giving you a suggestive look.
You looked at the group confused. “What was what?”
“Y/N, don’t act dumb dude.” Angela said then chuckled loudly. “You know exactly what she’s talking about.”
“I was just having a conversation with Spencer.” You said looking around and avoiding their looks.
“I was just having a conversation with Spencer.” Courtney said in a mocking tone, “You looked like you were practically drooling over him and he was staring at you hard.”
You sat in silence for a minute debating on to comment on it or not but then decided fuck it, the guys aren’t around. This is your opportunity to just talk about it.
“Okay, I might have some feelings for him.” You mumbled covering your face, “I don’t want to talk about it thought because I know he doesn’t feel the same.” You got up from the bench and started pacing.
“What do you mean he doesn’t feel like the same?” Erin asked and was looking at you as if you had two heads.
You stopped in front of the bench, facing the three in front of you. “He totally doesn’t feel the same. He only sees me as a friend.” You paused for a second again before deciding to just spill it all. “Guys, I have it fucking bad. Anytime I come into work, I’m always so excited to just talk to him. I feel like a little schoolgirl with a crush. I always want to be around him. He makes me feel so safe and never makes me feel stupid whenever I go on my hyper-fixation rambles. He’s just so fucking attractive, it gets under my skin. His stupid curly hair that I just want to run my fingers through. Don’t even get me started on his hugs. Anytime he has given me a hug, I just want to stand there in his arms forever. He always smells so good too. I know there’s a running bit that he smells like death sometimes but he has never smelt bad. Oh my god and don’t even get me started on..” You quit rambling realizing all three of the women in front of you look like they’re about to throw up and that’s whenever you feel like there’s someone standing right behind you.
“He’s right behind me, isn’t he?” You asked, quoting the meme.
“Uh, let’s walk in guys. I’m getting a bit cold.” Erin said standing up alongside Courtney and Angela.
You slowly turned around to face Spencer. “Heeeeey.” You said in defeat and just flopped down on the bench.
“Hey, sorry. If I knew you were confessing your undying love for someone, I would’ve just waited before coming over here.” Spencer said while shrugging his shoulders and sitting down beside you.
“Ha ha, very funny.” You responded glaring at the guy beside you. “You don’t have to act like you don’t know that I was talking about you.”
Spencer looked at you shocked for a minute then just laughed, “Wait, so your whole little confession thing was about me?”
“What all did you hear?” You asked putting your head in your hands.
“I’m not gonna lie, I did figure out it was me whenever you mentioned my ‘curly hair’ and the running bit that Shayne and Amanda joke about on the podcast, about me smelling like death.” He says sinking down a little in his bench.
You turned a little in the bench to face him and just started rambling, “I’m so sorry if it made you uncomfortable. I completely understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore or be around me. Erin just asked me and I just broke and started talking about all of the things-“
Spencer cut you off, “I don’t want to be friends anymore.”
You could feel your heart sinking and you immediately got sick to your stomach till you noticed the smile on his face.
You couldn’t focus on what he was saying because all you could think about is why is he smiling? He hates you now, doesn’t he? He’s never going to trust you again. Your thoughts were cut off by something warm on your face and that’s whenever you snapped out of it. You come to it and realize Spencer has his palms, holding your face.
“You didn’t hear one word I just said, did you?” Spencer asked laughing at you and squishing your face a little in the process.
You shook your head no slowly since his hands were holding your face.
He didn’t say anything. He just leaned forward and pressed his lips on yours. It was like everything froze in that moment.
It took a moment for you to process what had just happened before you leaned forward again and kissed him again quickly.
“Wait, so you do feel the same way?” You asked, staring at Spencer like a child who just found out they were going to Disney World.
“No, I just kiss my friends after they confess their feelings. Of course I do, you dork. We can talk all of this out tomorrow whenever we’re sober alright. Let’s just head back inside and get plastered. Deal?” Spencer said while standing up and offering you his hand.
“Deal, it is quite cold out here.” You responded taking his hand.
He let go of your hand for a moment to take his jean jacket off. He holds his jean jacket out to you and gets this shit eating grin on his face.
“Here, you can wear this. I was getting kind of hot anyways. You can smell it all night since you apparently like to be a little weirdo and smell me.” He says trying to not laugh.
“That’s not what I meant!” You got defensive and tried to explain yourself before you noticed Spencer was silently laughing to himself.
“I was teasing you. Now, let’s head back inside and get bullied by everyone for finally not being wimps and admitting our feelings.”
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Opposites attract | MV1
pairing: max verstappen x technical theater!y/n (they/them)
summary: you visit max after a long tech weekend, which is in time for the miami gp
warnings: fluff, google translated dutch (so sorry), me geeking out about my profession, maybe accidental OOC??, suggestive
a/n: reader is AFAB gender neutral! request open! sorry in advance cause there's no proofreading, im dying like a man. also first time writing don’t kill me ❤️
wc: 1.3K
Tech was the best and worst time of the year. The best time since the actors, director, crew, and creative all come together to finally put the show together. The best time because the show is officially handed over to the stage manager. It was also the worst time because of such long hours, lots of hold, and the stage manager’s sanity is holding on by a thread.
The first day wasn’t so bad. You arrived at the theater at 8am. You found your table and laid everything out. Your ASM and PA, your life line and team members, made sure everything else was set up. The other technicians arrived at 9am as they stated on the schedule and finally actors arrived at 10am. You had everyone in a circle introducing themselves to the new group: name, pronouns, role, fun fact. Then the director stated you guys would be going from top of the show and this was your time and your rehearsal. It was long but quick.
The second and third day were killer though. It was painfully slow as techs were. You spend most of your day here. Stage managers were the first ones in and last ones out and this tech was a 10 out of 12 (breaks for lunch, obviously, but you spend literally 12 hours in a dark theater just stopping and going while they add lights, sound, props, costumes, etc.) What’s worse is because you’re running the show you have to stay on top of everything, unless an emergency of course.
That includes not being able to really talk to your boyfriend.
You and Max were very keen on communicating and checking in since both your jobs were so demanding. Sometimes you guys could talk for hours while others it was a simple ‘hi dear, hope you have a good day’ ‘hi schatje, hope you’re sleeping well’ but when you were in tech it was a miracle if you sent a good morning text to inform him you were alive.
It’s around one am when you arrive back to the housing provided by the theater. By the time you get ready for bed it’s one thirty. You’re exhausted and your body is so desperately craving the sleep it’s been lacking but you will yourself to check your phone.
10 am:
Good morning, schatje ❤️. I hope you have a good day at tech today.
12pm:
Make sure you eat something today, please. I know how busy things can get sometimes. I’ll send you money to eat. I cannot believe the theater isn’t providing food for you or the crew. I can call them and give them a piece of my mind.
3pm:
Why did tech have to land on this weekend? It’s different with you not here. Are you watching at least?
…you know I can pay for you. You don’t have to work if you don’t want.
5pm:
Practice was okay. The random rain shower made things interesting for sure. Not my best time but I managed.
I miss you.
10pm:
I love you Schatje. I’m going to head to bed. Wish you were here with me. ❤️
Your heart pulls reading the messages. You quickly type out a few replies to Max:
Hi darling, I’m okay Yes, I made sure I ate today. No you don’t have to call the theater. It’s fine.
That’s called a sugar baby, darling. Not that I wouldn’t mind… I miss you too. I wish tech was over already so we could talk more :(
Well that’s Florida for you. But I’m sorry. I bet you still did amazing. I love you too. I’ll talk to you soon love, sleep well ❤️
You put your phone down after and let yourself drift off to sleep.
—————————————
“Alright Jonathan, I’ll talk to you later…bye now.”
Pocketing your phone when the conversation ends, you shuffle around your room as you get dressed. You’re thankful practice and qualifiers are late in the day giving you the extra sleep you need. Checking yourself out in the mirror, you do a spin. Sneakers, skirt, and one of the many fan designed Red Bull shirts you bought. This one was based off of Taylor’s Swift ‘Eras Tour’ but instead had pictures of your boyfriend and said ‘Verstappen’ instead. Grabbing your sunglasses, bag, and paddock pass you triple checked everything before heading off on your adventure.
Arriving to the paddock you easily scan in and navigate your way through. You keep your head down eyes glued to your phone and nobody really bats an eye to you. Thank god. You didn’t want the surprise to be ruined. Your eyes scan before you find the Red Bull garage. You slow your steps as you scan the garage not spying your boyfriend. A frown pulls to your lips as you step in, sunglasses being pushed to rest on the top of your head as you find Christian.
“Christian,” you call out with a smile as the principal turns. You make your way over and give him a quick hug.
“Oh Y/N,” Christian says and you see relief wash over him, “thank god you’re here. Max has been a fucking terror so far.” The remark makes you laugh, “I’m serious! He’s been extra grumpy since we arrived. I had to threaten to ban you from the garage to get him to tone it down. Handle him. Please.”
“I will when I find out exactly where he is.”
“Driver’s room.”
“Thank you. Promise he’ll be ready for tomorrow.”
“He better!” You hear Christian call out as you leave the garage. It does not take you long to find Max’s room and you know on the door.
You hear some shuffling and swearing in Dutch before the door swings open. You’re met with a “what?” and a scowl which causes you to smile brightly. “Fancy seeing you here,” you tease and watch Max’s scowl fall as it takes him a moment to process before you’re yanked forward.
You crash into his chest and laughs. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you bury your face in the crook of his neck as he hugs you tightly. He pulls away as he cups your face.
“I—schatje! What are you here? I thought you were working all weekend?”
“Between rehearsal and tech, we reached 42 hours. Jonathan said it wasn’t worth calling equity up to try and get overtime. So, he gave us the weekend off,” you beam and burst into laughter as he smothers your face in kisses, smiling widely.
“I’ve heard you’ve been very grumpy these past few days,” you remark through giggles.
“I have,” he replies bluntly, “you’ve been so busy and this Grand Prix has been testing my patience,” it’s his turn to bury his face in the crook of your neck. Your eyes flutter close and you let a breathy sigh escape feeling his lips leave feathery kisses along your neck.
“Max..”
“Missed you,” Max mumbled through kisses as he works his way up your neck to your jaw, “missed my good luck charm on my arm,” he kisses along your jaw, “missed having you wait for me in my driver’s room,” he makes his way up to your bottom lip and nips, “we have so much catching up to do..”
Turning your head away, giggling, “you have practice and qualifiers to get through first, mister,” You say earning a very small pout from the Dutchman, “how about, you place top five for qualifiers and I’ll spend the night at your hotel.” You let a finger gently trail long his jaw, down his neck, and to his chest before he drops.
Max follows your finger eyes darkening as he sticks his tongue out slightly to lick his bottom lip. Looking back up at you, “and if I get pole?”
Smiling innocently, you bat your lashes, “why do you think I wore a skirt?” A voice rings out for Max. Max groans as he squeezes you. He leans down to kiss your cheek before murmuring in your ear, “I expect you back here after qualifiers, bent over, skirt up for me.”
A shiver runs down your spine. He smirks and you want to wipe that smirk off his face. The voice is closer and you quick Max a quick peck with a grin, “good luck, sweetheart.” You purr softly and turn out of his grasp and disappear to the motorhome to enjoy the last few hours of your ability to walk.
#starlight library presents;#mv1 imagine#mv1 x reader#mv1 fic#mv1 x theater partner#starlight library fiction#max x technical theater partner#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#formula 1 imagine#f1 imagine#f1 reader#f1 fanfic#max verstappen smut#mv1 smut
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There's two types of people who use transandrophobia to decribe transmascs' and trans mens' experiences:
- Simply specificity, language used to hone in on a specific way being trans affects people who just happen to be men
- As both the above and as a springboard to discuss how societal misogyny, radical feminism, gender stereotypes, and bioessentalism affect all people who can be pecieved as men or masculine by others, and how bigotries compound in meaningful ways with stereotypes and bigotry surrounding maleness and manhood
Like. Half of you are saying "maleness is a hollow experience which is standard, and exists in opposition to gendered oppression, and transandrophobia is therefore when dudes experience misogyny and transphobia"
and half of you are saying "Being percieved and/or transitioning towards male uniquely affects how I am treated, because, for example, how people perceive my blackness or mental illness or kinkiness or femininity is compounded with my manhood in ways that don't usually happen to gender conforming cisperi women"
Which are two fundamentally different approaches to transandrophobia as a concept. One suggests that maleness is a simple downy layer of privilege that coats a person through their male life, and the other acknowledges that a man (or somebody perceived as masculine/male) can experience oppression in ways that those NOT perceived male may not.
Only one of these interpretations is intersectional. Black individuals who are policed more hashly when interpreted as masc know they are risking dangerous experiences when transitioning to male, as has been discussed before on here (to no avail). Male or percieved male people with personality disorders are treated as more dangerous than women with similar symptoms, and are sometiems diagnosed with different disorders entirely based on percieved gender differences. This affects transmascs too, especially considering the already dire state of queerness in psychiatric institutions. Being a male birthing parent is a whole shitshow of transphobia because men are not supposed to give birth, and transmascs are lucky to access related healthcare at all, let alone access it without being ceaselessly misgendered and treated as a stigmatised 'other' to deleterious affects on parent and baby. These are just a few examples, there are many more ways maleness can screw a person over. And that's not to say that female privilege is a thing instead of male privilege, but rather to emphasise that men are not supposed to be minorities. Men are not supposed to be assaulted, men are not supposed to be outliers, men are absolutely not supposed to be trans.
When a man is autistic, he's not just autistic, he's an autistic male, and that makes him more likely to be killed by cops (especially if black). When someone says "you claim you're not ableist but you're scared of the homeless x on a bus talking to xself", they always say the person is a man, because that sounds more significant (and cops think so too). Consider when a person's rape/abuse is considered to not be all that serious due to the victim being male, or when a man's attraction is considered to be more exploitative than a woman's, or when a fat man is considered more creepy/sexist than a thin man or a fat woman. Consider why so many caricatures of evil and creepiness are men with deformities. Consider the fact that men's bathrooms don't have baby changing tables, and that a man may get less support from others after their child's death than the mother might. Maleness can negatively compound with things like minority status, vulnerability, aggression, sexuality, etc. in ways that screw that person over, both in social spaces (such as queer communities that dislike/distrust maleness and masculinity, or how isolation affects men harder), and in more tangible ways, like their rates of suicide and being murdered.
There are tangible ways in which transitioning to male can negatively affect a person's life even if you remove (hypothetically, not really possible) the transphobia element, and these also constitute as worthwhile topics of discussion. If you think maleness is the lack of gendered oppression, then you're not intersectional in your feminism at all. If your life as a male is genuinely sunshine and rainbows (apart from the transphobia if trans), then good for you, genuinely that's great, but not everyone lives in a radfem fantasy world.
Being unable to tell the difference between men talking about mens issues/liberation, and right wingers talking about oppressing women more, isn't feminist. It's ignorant and antifeminist. (MRAs don't care about actual mens lib, and are actively worsening it because they are sexist and opposed to gender lib. You guys know that, right? That male and female liberation aren't oppositional or binary, but the same gender liberation that is entirely oppositional to patriarchy?)
These men and mascs talking about issues facing men aren't ignorant womanhaters who deny misogyny and want ultraprivileged men to be coddled, they are good faith members of your community with experiences just as varied and valid as yours. Treat them like it.
#“men can't handle having privilege” mfs when they realise they experience less lethal violence in a police confrontation#when their cancer treatments aren't inaccessible. when they don't have to fight for custody of the kid they gave birth to#“sexism doesnt affect men. i am very smart and well read. minorities trust and like me”#the people who think the existance of misogyny means men don't experience sexism are gonna have a real one reading this lmao#you may now make shit up about me not believing in female oppression or something#go ahead. put a bunch of words in my mouth. i won't reply#transandrophobia#transphobia#intersectionality#mens liberation#you'd think people would be more open to the idea that being percieved male can screw someone over huh#but no. back to essentialism and talking about aspects of living human beings like they're pokemon strength/weakness charts#“if men have issues then that implies women aren't oppressed” <- weirdly common opinion. also oppositional sexism and black n white fallacy#like. this is 101 feminism stuff. this isn't a bold new rare take on maleness. it's just thats sexism is popular on tumblr#this has been a known take for generations of feminism you just flatten men into a vaguely oppressive force#trans rights#intersectional feminism#mens issues#plus testosterone is so controlled that DIY is almost impossible and will get transmascs thrown in jail#my custom trans tshirts should come today#i'm mocking the hypothetical sexists in the hypothetical replies but genuinely i think mens lib is having a big hayday on tumblr now. yay#i love us all#stay safe#i hope this is coherent. it's not exhaustive and it's super long lol
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“To Be Better”
Big Brother!Yoshida x Gender Neutral Reader
(Tw: Sexual Abuse, Rape, Incest, Mild Smut, Mental Health, Suicidal Ideation)
A/N: I told myself I would finish this today and I did against my better judgment. This is not fully proofread and a bit different in comparison to other things I’ve written. Not heavy on the smut but definitely heavy. Idk. This isn’t good. Goodnight <3
Your older brother Yoshida is the brightest star to ever shine in your family. He got into all of the top universities (and every school he applied to for that matter) he’s smart, he’s attractive and everyone loves him to pieces, even those he’s only said one word to. He’s that type of guy. Too charismatic for his own good. A revolving door of people interested in being with him. Not a single flaw on his pretty skin.
Then, there’s you. You’re born second, but that doesn’t make you any where near close to second to him. Somehow, even with there being only two of you, you fall further down. You’re not placing in a race with him. You graduated two years after him, but no one from your extended family showed up like they did for him. You had a few friends, but were otherwise known as Hirofumi’s younger sibling. Your existence felt like an inconsequential blip when you were so eclipsed by him in every aspect of anything you did. He is the sun, but to say you’re the moon would be a lie.
So, it felt nice to graduate. To leave the school where every one knew you as a his shadow and the comparisons never ended. It felt nice to go to a community college where no one knew you and forge your own identity.
Even with him out of the house two years before, you still weren’t as free from him as you have been recently. You’re healing as of late. His winter break visit has come and gone and you’re getting better. This summer will be better. There’s just you and sure, you still live with your parents who always compared you to him, but now your lives have almost completely diverged. They have to, after all the work you’ve put in to getting better about being his shadow.
Of course, it’s not as simple as him having disappeared at university forver, though. It cant be your happily ever after. He comes home over his breaks and this one is no different.
The summer air is hot. It’s unpleasant and almost inescapable. There’s three popsicle sticks on your desk and the ceiling fan of your room is going as fast as it can go. It’s working desperately to cool you down with its gentle whirring, but still, you’re sticky with a light cast of sweat as you lay silently on your bed in wait.
You know he’s here. His voice flows proudly all through the house as he greets your parents and asks where you are and why you haven’t come to see him. You can hear him padding down the hall. Your brother has a distinct walk. It’s heavy and light all at once, like he’s waltzing his way to your door. A distinct feeling of dread punctuates each and every step.
As the door to your room swings open, you’re greeted by that same gut punch of a smile that you hadn’t been unfortunate enough to see since winter. This time it’ll be longer. The summer is too long.
“What?” It’s not really a question. Just something to make him go away.
“What?” He repeats back to you. “You’re not excited to see me?” Hirofumi… his voice is like silk; like he’s got it all figured out. It’s no wonder he’s got everyone fooled.
…
Usually it’s the summer heat that keeps you up all night, but tonight it’s him. You can’t see him, but you know he’s there and for that reason you haven’t left your room all day. His presence is an ache in your brain and the dryness of your mouth. This was supposed to be easier.
For the first time since he’s been back, you walk as quietly as possible out of your room praying that he isn’t awake. When you pass his room there’s no light coming from under the closed door and not a sound to be heard.
He’s asleep. Thank god.
You take a breath of relief and hurry yourself through the house, but as you round the corner into the kitchen the lights are on and he’s there. Closing the cabinets after putting up one last dish. And there it is. That sickening smile as he spots you.
“You didn’t eat dinner with us.”
You ignore him and pull open the refrigerator. All of the foods been neatly wrapped up and nicely stacked in small containers. You don’t check them to see what’s inside. Instead, you pick at a bunch of grapes and shovel them into your mouth one by one. There’s nothing to be said. You’re dealing with this well enough.
The grapes are ice cold and pop deliciously in your mouth. This is the best thing to happen to you all day. You needed this. You deserve this. Until, it’s interrupted by a large hand on your shoulder.
You stiffen.
“Don’t-” You turn and smack his hand off of your shoulder.
“Why are you acting like that?” He asks. He’s trapping you between his body and the ice cold inside of the refrigerator. He’s so close. Too close. You can smell him. He smells so fucking good. It’s sweet like fresh cut grass and natural like the wind traveling over the sea. It’s sickening. He’s making you nauseous by being in your space. A headache is forming. He shouldn’t be this close.
Your hand shoots out between the two of you and pushes at his chest before you even realize you’ve moved. You retract your hand like you were burned. “Move.” It’s quiet but stern. He doesn’t budge in the slightest. A look of confusion paints his face.
“What is your problem?” He steels himself.
For a second you almost believe him. You almost believe he’s truly lost and he doesn’t know why you’re acting like this towards him.
“You were fine when I came back over the break in winter.”
Right. Winter. You don’t even want to think about it.
He pulls you away from the refrigerator with a tight grip on your arm. You here it click closed and your brain stops working at the sound. He’s been treating you like this forever. Like a rag doll. For a second you let it happen. You have half a mind to let him do what he’s always done, but with the better half you pull away from him. His hand feels like it should’ve left burn marks in every spot he’d touched.
“Leave me alone.” You want to scream but it comes out as a hushed cry. Your nails dig into his forearm and he lets you go. You stumble back into the counter and you don’t even feel the pain that accompanies it.
“You don’t like me anymore?” His smile is confused. His eyebrows are furrowed. He pretends not to know what’s wrong.
…
You’re dealing with this the best way you know how.
He’s not here, in your room, but somehow he’s everywhere. His smell lingers in there air. Somehow it feels like his hand is still wrapped around your arms. You can’t get rid of him even in the quiet of your own room.
You lock the door. You unlock it. You lock it again.
You flick the light on. You flick it off. You flick it on again. You leave it off.
You start to try to lay back down, but you can’t bring yourself to touch your bed. Not with Hirofumi all over you.
The only solution is a shower.
The water burns just right against your thigh as you step in. You needed this. You weren’t ready to see him again.
Your body is trembling. How long have you been like that? Are there tears in your eye? You can feel your throat tightening up and wetness streaming down your face. Why are you crying? He didn’t do anything to you.
Maybe you shouldn’t be treating him like this. You liked him in the winter. You liked what happened then. You’re fooling yourself into thinking you’re the victim. After all these years, you’re not the victim.
Like a bullet in the chest it hits you all at once. So many years of him fight to the forefront of your thoughts.
Even as you scrub your skin you can feel his hands all over you. You’re sure the soap smells like him. You hold the soap to your nose and the thought goes away. It doesn’t smell like him.
You think about the winter. Your unlocked door. An invite for him to come in. You scrub at your skin.
You remember the heat of his body against yours. When you would beg him to stop. You scrub.
His hands gripping at your chest. Your quiet discomfort as you let him. The tears that rolled down your cheeks and the the way he kissed them away. You’ll clean him off of you even if your skin turns raw.
You can’t breathe. The tightness in your throat is getting worse. You’re sure you’re bawling. You want this to end. To go away. You need to go away.
Your knees buckles under you and when they crack against the shower floor the world becomes clear again. You can hear yourself sobbing. You can feel that the waters too hot against your skin. It’s too much.
A knock on the door comes as you rush to turn the water off.
“Are you okay?” Hirofumi’s voice lingers on the other side. You can smell him again. “Y/N~” He sings your name out with the beat of his second round of knocks at the door. “Do you want me to come in there?”
You’re still crying. You can’t catch your breathe. Your pleads for him not to come in are stuck in your throat.
You hear him say your name again. Then, the door starts to inch open. He can’t do this. He can’t. He can’t. He can’t.
“GO AWAY!” You scream out before you knew you could speak again. The door clicks shut. Footsteps sound further and further until they disappear. Relief. You melt in to the wall of the tub. He’s gone.
There’s no telling how long you stayed there; a mess of sopping wet hair and skin, but you eventually pull yourself together and rush to get your pajamas on. The long pants. The long sleeves. They tug against your wet skin and make you sweat already.
You look in the mirror; into your bloodshot eyes.
You can never brush your teeth enough. It’s like his tongue is always in your mouth. The taste of his breath lingers. The inside of your mouth feels like his. Too much like his. Your lips are so chewed up trying escape the feeling, they crack even more when you brush your teeth. You brush until your gums bleed. Until your mouth feels as raw as your skin. Until the taste of iron replaces him. Until you can sleep at night. The taste of him will come back. It always does.
…
Your parents don’t sit down for breakfast unless he’s around. Your mom doesn’t cook unless it’s for him. You don’t exist outside of him.
You push your food around your plate and tune them out. He’s sitting across from you and you’re not looking up unless you have to. You’re not hungry this morning. You don’t want to be here.
“Why don’t you want to learn how yo drive?”
The question sounds pointed at you. You stop, to listen again.
“You know…” You stop hearing his voice, but you’re sure he’s still talking. You keep looking down at your plate. “…really, I’m your big brother I should.” You can hear that fucking smile in his voice.
“That would be great, wouldn’t it, honey?” Your moms hand rubs soothingly over your thigh. You almost get the urge to cry again, but you can’t. “Hirofumi could be a great person to teach you?”
You look at her, confused.
“He can teach you how to drive. You should really learn. And maybe look at his new car.”
“It’s really nice.” Your dad cuts in.
He has a new car.
“It’d be great. To make new memories and stuff, right?” Hirofumi looks so endearing. The sun coming in through the window surrounds his body in soft morning light. Of course, he’s glowing. He casts a shadow over your breakfast plate.
“I’ll learn to drive on my own time.” You stuff your mouth with eggs.
Your mother insists that you let Hirofumi teach you. She’s like that. He’s her favorite. He does everything right the first time.
You leave breakfast early and leave them to their golden child.
You lock your door. You unlock it. You lock it again. You check the handle. It’s locked.
Your pajamas are suffocating you. It’s only going to get hotter from this point in the day, but you can’t change. You turn your ceiling fan on. You can breath.
You open a book and try to forget.
By the afternoon, the house falls silent. You leave your room and check all around the place. For each room you flick the lights on and of again and again. Not a soul. Tension relieves itself in places you didn’t know you had it. After checking all the locks, you sprawl out on the couch. Let them be gone forever.
…
You’re burning up. You’re sweating. You have a headache. The tv is on, but there’s some other noise. The couch suddenly feels too small.
“Do you want to go in my room?” Hands tap your cheeks to wake you. Your eyes struggle to open. Your mouth doesn’t move. Again. “Do you want to go in my room?” His face is far above yours, there’s brightness in his eyes, but they remain pitch black. His bangs are still too low. “It’s cooler in there. You’re sweating a lot. C’mon.”
He grabs you. Hoists you in to his arms and you latch on to him. You let him carry you. He loves to carry you. You’re so easy. So so easy. Why are you letting him do this.
“Hiro-”
Nothing.
“Hirofumi…”
“Hm?”
“Please take me to my room. I don’t want to do this.”
“It was fine a couple moths ago. Wasn’t it?”
You shake your head. You never liked it. That time you thought if you tried to enjoy it you’d hurt less. If you finally smiled and gave him what he wanted willingly it wouldn’t be as bad as all of the times before. It worked in the moment, but like every time before it came back to haunt you. You can’t do it again, but you don’t argue.
You let him lay you down on his bed. You go limp. You can’t run. You’ve never been able to stop this.
You think you say his name out loud, but if you do, he doesn’t answer. You ask where your mom’s at. Nothing. Your pajama pants are off. You hear yourself say stop. His hand smooths over your underwear.
There’s a moment of darkness and suddenly you’re both naked. You’re pushing at his muscles. His mouth is leaving wet kisses down your body. You swear you’re begging him to end this. There’s something of a cry for help in there. He can’t do this again.
“You wanted this last time, remember?” He breathes over your sex and drags his tongue across. Your body reacts as if you were struck by electricity, but you feel nothing. There’s just a strange wetness between your legs.
He can’t seem to remember the times before when you said no. All the times that came before the winter. When his hands traveled down in to your uniform. When you told him he didn’t need to kiss you before his graduation speech for good luck. When you said you didn’t want to know what he’d taste like. There were so many rejections, but he just can’t be a good brother.
He can only remember when you begged for him at the park last winter. When you let him climb in your bed and rub himself against the curve of your ass. When you licked his semen off the palm of your hand and kissed him hungrily. He can only remember last winter.
You were so scared. You thought you could face your demons head on.
He’s inside you. He’s so deep inside you. His tongue lick’s at the salty tears and sweat on your cheeks. His lips interlock with yours and you don’t kiss back. Not this time. You feel nothing and everything. Every vein dragging in and out of you. Every fingernail digging into your waist. The muscle in his chest where your hands aren’t pushing any more. Every breath he steals from you. But you don’t feel it.
You’re trapped eye to eye under him. His bedside lamp is dim, but you can see his face so close to yours. He’s tearing you apart from the inside. You have to be dying. You want to die.
“Hiro… I’m going to kill myself.” You manage between tears, broken moans and unstable breaths. “Please stop. I’m going to die. I’m going to kill myself.” It all pours out of your mouth like a flood.
“No. I’ll take care of you,” He says as he lays kisses along your throat.
“No. I’ll die.” You sniffle. “I’ll just die. I promise. I can’t do this. Please stop.” You might be screaming. There’s no way for you to tell. He’s slamming in to you harder. You can see it. You can’t feel it, but you know it hurts. Then it all stops. You can’t see anymore. There’s nothing. Again.
He’s there. Laying on your stomach when you come to. You feel sticky. Like your body’s covered in slime. Gross. Like you’re wrapped in spiderwebs. Like your brother’s been inside of you. Like this has been going on for as long as you can remember.
You try to push him off of you. You’re still naked. You don’t want your pajamas back anyway. You just want the shower. You push at his head and try to slide your body from under him. His scalp is wet with sweat.
You just want to shower. He won’t budge. His smell is seeping deeper into your skin by the second.
He turns to face you.
“Mom and dad are out all night. We have time.”
You give up. You’ll never be clean again.
#my head hurts.#man idk I was kinda venting when I wrote this#tw: noncon#tw: rape#tw: abuse#tw: trauma#yoshida smut#yandere yoshida#chainsaw man smut
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I've been reading ACOTAR again these last days and I can't stop thinking about Elain, as a person, and Elain with Lucien.
I've been out of the fandom for a while, and I think we're completely missing something big with the ship war going on with Elucien and Elriel. I think SJM has an insane opportunity to give such a message to her readers. I'm mature enough now to take some steps back on the story, but it might not be the case for everybody. At least it wasn't the case for my younger self.
Elain gets a lot of hate because of misogyny, right? Because she's traditionally feminine, loves her flowers and her baking, is a very social person, and isn't a strong empowered warrior protagonist. I'm not saying those carcters are bad. They are necessary to break gender stereotypes and inspire girls to do what they want in life and not to be afraid to be themselves if they don't align with the stereotypes. But I've noticed that this type of caracter has become so mainstream now that it has lost its meaning and is no longer a perspective of choice but an expectation.
This ship war reminded me of Twilight. If I remember right, Bella says at some point that choosing between Edward and Jacob is more about choosing what version of herself is the one she wants to be. So, of course, she chooses an extraordinary life, rebels against the norms, and becomes a vampire. That's good for her. It carried the right message at that time.
But with Elain, SJM can completely change that message around. If Elain chooses Azriel, she chooses an extraordinary life too. She gets to become an active member of the Night Court, probably will be trained as a warrior or a spy at some point and become a revelant political figure with her seer abilities. That's an attractive life, and would probably allow her character to evolve a lot. But it once again perpetuate that idea that you have to become a very warrior type of character for you to have some value. So we're teaching teens that they have to be extraordinary for people to love them and value them, putting a lot of pressure on them, and encouraging them to, in the end, embody the new stereotype of women that we have created.
All the beauty of the idea lies there. If Elain chooses Lucien, she won't have to have that dark, alluring life but can choose an ordinary one. She won't be expected to stop her gardening, to act or speak differently. She doesn't have to completely change her personality, and she is still loved and cherished, but for exactly who she is. Even if she can become that super cool person, but not in alignment with herself. It could show that you can be loved even as an ordinary person with an ordinary life. That quiet lives are just as important as epic ones. And that a simple life can still be filled with happiness and beauty. It's a tolkienesque idea, but it's so important to celebrate ordinary lives.
If SJM writes Elucien, she can create a whole spectrum of representation. You can be a queen, a warrior, or a lover, and each of them is just as good as the other if it feels right to you.
And, by writing all of this, I don't even want to take part in this Lucien vs Azriel thing, or even go deeper in the characters. It's not about the characters themselves. There are a lot of amazing people who have done precise analysis of the canon text already. I just felt that it was important for me to share it somewhere, and I've seen no one talking about it already.
Please don't hesitate to interact with this post because I would love to talk about it with someone. Thanks for reading if you made it that far :)
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𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐀 𝐕𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧 • 𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐫
Part One
Roman Bridger x AFAB!Reader
The day Roman first laid eyes on you, he knew he had to have you. There was something about you that he couldn’t quite put his finger on, and usually, he was good at reading people off the bat. But you were a different story. Naturally, you only opened up when necessary, not letting people in if you didn’t have a reason to. So you were guarded, and Roman didn’t like that. He wanted to worm his way into your life, no matter what it took.
If that took delving into his twisted past again in order to get to you, so be it. AFAB - (assigned female at birth) someone who is born female but can identify with she/her or other pronouns. reader pronouns are gender neutral, so people who use any pronouns can read, but female anatomy will be used and described in this fanfiction eventually.
request: Please could you write a Roman x reader where she is only supposed to be an extra in his movie, but he becomes obsessed with her and starts doing whatever it takes to make her part of the main cast so he can get much closer to her. by anon.
Can you do Roman with s/o that's an actor/actress? If you don't I'll cry myself to sleep :) by @hell0r0ck
warnings: none for this part!
word count: 1300
author's note: sorry it's kinda short, but I felt it was a great place to naturally stop. I do want this to be a few parts long, so we shall see how long it gets lol! thank you to those who sent in requests (: I'm happy to be writing for the Scream fandom again <3 if you enjoy this and want me to continue, please reblog/ like/ comment!
series masterlist | masterlist | add yourself to the taglist here
this fic has been cross posted to ao3.
ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ʀᴇᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴏɴ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ, ᴀᴏ3, ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴇ��sɪᴛᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ɪɴ ᴀɪ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀs ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʀᴛɪғɪᴄɪᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴏɴ.
You’re about to do a simple audition process in order to be an extra in the new Stab movie. There’s not much to it- just getting into hair, makeup, and costume and then blending into the background when ordered to do so. You’re pretty good at becoming invisible already, but you’re still nervous. The movie's director is attractive, in your humble opinion, and he’s the one who conducts the auditions. So you’re most anxious about doing something embarrassing in front of him. In your self-absorbed imagination, you hope, for whatever reason, the director notices you out of everyone here. But the chances of that happening are astronomically low.
You’re in an area full of other random people auditioning to be extras, possibly around fifty people altogether, solidifying why you won’t be so much as blinked at. You managed to snag a seat earlier when you arrived before people began pouring into the studio. You’re squirming in the chair anxiously, switching which leg to cross over the other often, and playing with your hair without noticing.
“Are you okay?” someone from next to you whispers.
You glance over to your right and see a small girl around your age studying you with concern.
You nod, “I’m fine. Just kinda nervous.”
“I can tell,” the girl smiles gently, offering a hand, “I’m Sage.”
“Nice to meet you. I’m (Y/N).”
“Is this your first time auditioning?” Sage asks, her eyes curious of your answer.
“Nope,” you shake your head, “I’ve been in plenty of shows and movies.”
“Then why are you so worried? You’ve got this!” the chipper blonde grins.
You hesitantly chuckle and lean in closer to her to whisper, “I think the director is cute.”
“Roman? He’s alright. Not my type, but he’s really nice! I’ve worked with him before.”
“Really?” you raise your eyebrows, intrigued to learn more about Roman now that you know his name.
“Yeah, he directed some shitty horror movie about a year ago, and I was one of the random bystanders that got killed. He always made sure all the extras were the best they could be. I doubt half of these people here will make it because he’s really picky,” Sage rambles.
“Good to know,” you say, now even more nervous than before.
The room suddenly hushes, and everyone looks in one direction at whoever caused the silence.
“Welcome to Stab 3, everyone! I’m Roman, and I’m the director. Let’s get started.”
Everyone is ordered to a set where we all stand aimlessly and talk to each other or walk around. According to Roman, anyone breaking their character or not looking convincing enough will get booted. Upon his signal to begin, we all take random places around the set and pretend to be nobody. Piece of cake. There are placeholders for the actual main actors reciting lines for the scene we’re practicing to make it more natural. You avoid your eyes from anyone specific other than Sage, pretending to be deep in conversation with her. Roman walks around the set like a ghost, dismissing people here and there. He has a hand on his chin, rubbing it inquisitively as he studies everyone he passes. A group of girls giggles at Roman when he walks by them, to which he then dismisses them off the set. You avert your eyes back to Sage quickly before he notices. In your vision field, you can see him walking in your direction.
Sage notices your staring and looks at you knowingly before learning her throat, “So have you heard?”
“Heard what?” you say, trying to remain in character the best you can as Roman inches ever closer.
“There’s a masked killer on the loose,” Sage looks around nervously, quieting her voice.
“Seriously?” you furrow your eyebrows, half wondering if she was actually serious or if she was just playing her part, “Do they know who it is?”
Sage shrugs as Roman stands by the two of you, watching with a slight gleam in his eye, “No one does. We just have to make sure to stay safe. So if you go anywhere, don’t go alone.”
“I wouldn’t be caught dead anywhere alone,” you chuckle, rolling your eyes playfully, “No pun intended.”
Roman stifles a laugh, “Good job, you two. I’ll see you on the real set soon,” he winks.
You look at Sage with wide eyes as he walks away, and she pats your shoulder with a smile, “I told you that you had this in the bag! Besides, I know Roman enough to know that he thinks you’re cute.”
You try not to snort, “And how do you know that?”
“He’s still staring at you.”
Trying your best to look casual, you scratch your neck and turn around slowly, darting your eyes around to avoid direct contact with Roman. Your eyes land beside his face, where you can see him sneaking a peek at you before turning away.
“Told you,” Sage snickers, “Now come on, let’s blow this popsicle stand now that we have the parts.”
The two of you head over to the area where other extras which have been accepted are sitting. There are about 20 of you, while a measly 10 remain on the set. After 15 minutes, 5 more dwindle over to where you and Sage sit and converse.
“Alright, my extras,” Roman smiles as he approaches the group of you, “I’ll see you bright and early on the actual set tomorrow at seven sharp. Don’t be late.”
Everyone cheers and talks amongst themselves as you and Sage stand up from your seats, brushing yourselves off before making your way to the exit.
“You two,” Roman stops you both right at the stage door, “I’ll be keeping an eye on you. You guys seem too good to be extras.”
“Roman, you know good and well your team wouldn’t allow some random extras to be in the main cast. So keep dreaming, pretty boy,” Sage rolls her eyes with a laugh, “We’ve been down this road before. I’m not into major acting.”
“What about them?” Roman points to you, and you nervously cave in on yourself momentarily under his direct gaze.
“Uh,” you stutter, looking between Roman and Sage, “I don’t know. I guess I’ll see how it goes tomorrow first,” you shrug.
“Alright,” Roman grins, “See you tomorrow.”
You nod, suppressing a smile. Once Roman is out of earshot, Sage squeals quietly.
“You two so like each other,” she giggles, pushing the door open.
“Remind me to block your number when I get home,” you say jokingly.
The following morning, you try your best to refrain from rubbing your tired eyes after having makeup applied to them. You’re standing at the coffee cart on set, clutching a cup of hot liquid as your eyes gloss over. Someone walks into your peripheral, waving their hand in front of your face.
“Are you there, sweetheart?”
Snapping out of it, you squeeze your eyes shut quickly before blinking rapidly to clear your vision. Roman is standing in front of you in a flattering button-up, a small smile on his lips.
“Sorry, just a little sleepy this morning,” you laugh nervously, pulling the cup of coffee closer to your chest before taking a cautious sip.
“That’s alright. It’s a slow day today, not much to film with many extras, so if you want, you can chill out on the sidelines,” Roman suggests, and you shake your head.
“Nope, I’m here to work. I’ll wake up here soon,” you take a large gulp of the hot, caffeinated beverage.
“A good attitude to have!” Roman grins, patting your shoulder, “See you on set later, then!”
Little did you know, you’d see Roman more than just on set. And he’d be seeing you everywhere you went. Everywhere all the time.
#Roman Bridger#roman bridger x reader#roman bridger x reader smut#Roman Bridger smut#Ghostface#scream#scream 3#Ghostface!roman#ghostface x reader#ghostface smut#ghostface x reader smut#floralcyanide writes
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Matchmaking Overhaul
The matchmaking system is used for the sake of peacefully eliminating your rivals by convincing them to fall in love with another boy. While the idea is generally nice and helps add romantic aspects to the game, it’s still lacking significantly, I believe.
I already put down brief ideas about rewriting the “crush” system, and just like that, these ideas will be just as brief and unofficial. This, of course, means that I can change my mind at any time and may add or take away from the ideas I’m documenting now.
(As per usual, more explaining and a brief art piece below.)
First, I’d like to talk about the benefits of matchmaking students OTHER than the rivals. Hypothetically speaking, let’s say that one of the “patrol” students, like Himari on the first floor (who also has the capability to apprehend you), gets in the way too much. Of course, speaking from Himari’s current functions, she truly isn’t that much of a threat, but I digress. If she had more obnoxious patrolling functions, then matchmaking might be a good way to keep her from patrolling at a certain time. Say you matchmake her with another compatible student, and in the mornings, instead of patrolling, she begins spending time with that student elsewhere instead.
With that explanation out of the way, I want to talk about compatibility. If you want to matchmake someone, you should have all of the necessary information for both parties. The necessary information in this case would be- the student’s likes, personality, type and thoughts on dating. Currently, you can chat with students or drag them around the school to learn their interests, which is time-consuming but still rather simple. If it’s to be time-consuming, it should at least include multiple unique actions that doesn’t include waiting in a room for the student to find their way inside the room with its poor programming.
A good idea could be offering a student gifts, asking them questions, or just generally spending time with the student. What you learn can depend on the student’s personality, their willingness to speak about their feelings, how chatty they are, and what exactly you ask about.
Back to the compatibility, though. Putting it into a simple idea, two students who all like cooking, drama, nature, art, and socializing would be pretty compatible. But again that’s very face-value. What if, say, Gema and Akane had the same likes and dislikes. It doesn’t mean that they’d be compatible at all in terms of dating or even bring friends because of how different their personalities and lifestyles are. Akane is meant to be uptight and likely keeps romance to a minimum if not completely silent as a subject, and Gema has proven that his “type” is either anime characters or unique fashions like the gyaru girls. Both of them can be found attractive in their own right, but if their personalities and appearances aren’t compatible with their preferences, they likely wouldn’t get together. Or at least it would be very difficult.
This leads me to “types”. While having a preference in terms of appearance (think Osana with Taro), it doesn’t guarantee that the student will only date a student who holds all of those physical attributes. However, it does help the player decide what possible candidates may be. As you all probably read recently, I’m unable to add same-sex relationships due to my religion, but in the game, it’s likely that some students will have a preferred gender to date, which could also help the player narrow down their options.
Also, allow me to comment on something else. As you may know, some characters have canon friendships in the game, like Osana and Raibaru, Sukubi and Rojasu, and Saki and Kokona. In my story, one of the friendships is Saki and Kenko. While they are good friends, I doubt that they would be compatible due to their different lifestyles. They can like the same things, like each other’s appearance, but Kenko might desperately prefer someone who takes better care of their body, which Saki does not do.
I think that all of what I’ve discussed thus far could be somewhat used for some sort of matchmaking system. As I said, I admit that I wasn’t able to put this in quite effective words. It all looks messy as I’m re-reading it, but that’s likely due to my lack of sleep. I plan on putting some more effort into this in the future, definitely when I’ve actually gotten some shut eye.
Although my religion restricts me from making certain things possible, I encourage other creators to possibly put in their thoughts and make art regarding a revamped matchmaking system. Maybe put in characters that you think may be compatible and why. Do they have different likes and dislikes from the canon information? Is their personality different, thus making them compatible with different students? I’m always curious to see such things in this community.
(I realize his pose looks a bit strange. He's meant to be tying his apron. 😔)
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hello im confused🙃
is there a term for when you dont feel like a specific charicter, but that you were supposed to live in a specific place?
i feel like im from oz (from the books), and i dont know if thats what hearthome means or if thers another name for it.
also kinda feel like an embodiment of the oz books (by l frank baum atleast)
but this could all just be an escapist want due to the oz books being my special interest
or is it possible to kin a charicter thats a difrent sexuality? im still learning about alterhuman/otherhuman stuff
I can't provide the answer for your questioning as your identity is something only you can define and I can only be a guide so you can understand a little bit and find the answer
First of all, labels aren't necessary! I know wanting to label yourself is a good way of self understanding and to make sure others can understand you, but it's important to remind yourself that you're not obligated to label yourself and if you want to go out and don't use labels at all and just go around explaining how it feels and is to be you or not even try to explain it is totally valid
Now back to the topic, you do multiple questions so I'm going to go one by one and then give my own conclusion
Hearthome
Meaning: a term for when you feel a strong, familiar connection to a place, real or fictional, in which the place/location feel like home
So to make it simple, hearthome is a way to describe a familiarity and connection to some place to the point it feels like home
Genderbodiment
Meaning: a gender system related to being the embodiment of something, can also be a gender by itself relating to being the embodiment of gender
So to make it simple, this is an umbrella when your gender identity feels related to something specific to the point of being the embodiment of that something
Eiment
Meaning: an alterhuman / nonhuman term for being an embodiment / embodiment of something
So to make it simple, is an umbrella term for alterhumanity when you feel/are the embodiment of something, someone, somewhere
Emsoul
Meaning: a term for when you are the embodiment of something or you view something as the embodiment of you.
So to make it simple, is being the embodiment of something/someone/somewhere or viceversa, something/someone/somewhere being the embodiment of you
Placekin
Meaning: pertaining to all of those who identify as a place, be it real, extinct, fictional, spiritual, conceptual, etc
So to make it simple, is an alterhuman identity when you identify as a place or location, not entirely being the embodiment but being the place, if that makes sense
Copinglink
Meaning: a type of otherlink adopted as a coping mechanism for trauma, stress, mental illness, or any other ailment
So to make it simple, is an otherlink identity when you adopt the alterhuman identity of your choice (character, species, object, place, what you want) for coping purposes
Xenonature
Meaning: when someone has a strong connection to something to the point it becomes part of them
So to make it simple, this means the connection you have with something is so strong it becomes part of who you are, doesn't matter what it is
Otherspin
Meaning: an alterhuman identity that's influenced by someone's special interest, it can be used with another alterhuman labels
So to make it simple, this means the influence of your spin into your identity, this is more of a descriptor as you can use it like "I'm a therian otherfix" or with some other labels
Kin with different orientation
Your alterhuman identity isn't linked with your sexual or any kind of attractional orientation, there's no thing such as a rule on how you can feel or perceive your kinning, so that's not a rule
You can have different sexuality, gender, orientation, likes and your own individual identity separate from your alterhuman one, so don't be scared of saying "My kintype is x thing" just because you don't align with certain things of your kintype
As I said, I can't give you the answer on who you are, I gave you some labels/umbrellas I think you might fit or so you can search for a foundation to start searching by yourself
Also yes, you can have multiple terms and umbrellas at the same time, so if you feel connected to all of this terms I just described you you can use all of them, after all is your identity and it isn't harming you or anyone, plus an alterhuman identity can be so complex and unique as you want
I don't know more terms that can fit into your criteria as I'm not a complete expert on the topic, tho if you want a more specific term you could ask me and I'm willing to make a new one
I hope this did help and sorry for taking so long to answer, have a nice day/night!
#myceliumhelps#answerasks#myceliumyaps#coining blog#alterhuman community#alterhuman#alterhumanity#otherkin#otherlink#copinglink#xenonature#hearthome#otherspin#otherfix#placekin#genderbodiment#nonhuman
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could you try to explain what a lesboy is to me in dumbed down terms because i actually have no idea. not a single clue or brain cell rolling around in my head that knows what in the absolute fuck a lesboy is. not in like a mean way or anything I'm just genuinely confused and google does not help. I like the stuff you post and all but it feels like a puzzle with like an entire pizza slice taken out of it when I have no absolute idea what in gods nonexistent holy asscrack the things you reblog half the time are even about...
Lol that's fine, I half expected this to be on the contradictory labels blog I have but I'm always surprised when it's on my main one.
There's different types obviously like multigender lesboys, like a Bigender person who is literally just a lesboy cause they are both a man, woman and a lesbian and that's what I identify as.
Then trans men lesboys, simple terms, most of the time trans men's first label is being a lesbian and that's a whole running joke of the "lesbian to trans man pipeline" (I think?) some trans men don't feel queer after finding out they're a trans man cause it feels invalidating, but some (trans men lesboys) do still feel queer, especially ones who have been in the lesbian community for YEARS probably and definitely do not feel straight, I do follow some guy on TikTok like that.
Gender non conforming woman using man as .. well as a gender non conforming thing, they could be the type of Lesboy that isn't actually a boy- and Yeah there's some lesboys who are boys and some who aren't.
Butches- which trans men can be butch if they want to, and the Bigender folk and the gender non conforming part but that is a main reason for some people.
I have heard of trans women using boy as a "fuck you thing" like "haha I will boy as a reclaimed thing." I never see anyone talk about it, however.
Also systems, yeah have heard that.
So uh..short words or dumb down, multigender folks, trans men who still feel queer with their attraction to women (like not even close to how a cis man can feel) people using as a gender non conforming thing, lesboys who aren't actually boys and butches.
Here's an actual good definition tho... I just wrote my own cause it'd feel half assed if I just throw the LGBTQ wiki in here.
Boom 💥↓
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there are things you cant change and you shouldnt hurt yourself trying just to please other people. and that's okay as long as you're respectful about it. i dont like dick and i probably never will and that doesn't change how i treat trans women with no bottom surgery nor does it make me see them as anything other than women and if that makes you see me as a transphobe then there's nothing i can do about that 🤷♀️ there is never a situation where its ok to pressure people to have sex in a way they're not comfortable with and if you cant understand that then idk man get better soon
I told you to stop replying to that post but if you want to do this out in the open then sure we can do that
your claim that “conservatives tried to force me to like dick” is based on an essentialistic, extremely transphobic and patriarchal understanding of what a penis is. Conservatives don’t want you to “like dick” they want you (and all trans people) to remain in the closet, get heterosexual married, be Christian, and make babies. That’s not a command to “like dick” that is a demand that all people conform to white western cishet gender norms, and conflating the two is fucking transphobic! You are imbuing a particular body part that people have with deep political, social, and sexual meanings, and those meanings are deeply transphobic in general and transmisogynistic in particular. “Liking dick” or “not liking dick” is not a coherent or useful way to describe a person’s attraction to an extremely broad range of people. If someone said “I’m only attracted to people with vaginas” that would be an insane and obviously transphobic statement because it means that there is some level of sexual interchangeability between cis women, trans men without bottom surgery, trans women who have had it, and certain types of intersex people, and that there is something fundamentally different with people who have a penis that makes them essentially unattractive.
“Genital preference” is an extremely loaded and fraught term. It is the site of particular types of sexual violence against trans women specifically. It is based on the assumption that attraction to the rest of a person’s body and their genitals can be fully disconnected from one another, that genitals hold some essential quality that can be judged on an attractiveness scale regardless of the bodies they’re attached to, that what genitals a person has prescribes a very specific and narrow set of sexual acts that can be engaged in. This is transphobic rhetoric, full stop.
And for the last fucking time I’m not “pressuring” anyone into having sex with people they don’t like. Nobody is telling you to “hurt yourself” into liking a penis. You are getting ridiculously angry at a random trans person online describing the problems with “genital preference” as a framework and spouting virulently transmisogynistic rhetoric to justify said anger. The things you have said and are saying to me right now are insdistinguishable from the transphobia cis people spout, even the progressive ones who say they’re supportive but they just can’t get past how disgusting and unattractive our genitals are. You are having a temper tantrum about the simple claim I made that transphobia is deeply bound up in how people view sex with particular types of bodies, and your reasoning for why I’m wrong is “well because I feel like it” so why should I take anything you’re saying remotely seriously?
I’m done replying to you. Fuck off
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From @raginrayguns:
More generally, I think I have a much more uh. I don't know what to call it. I think lots of ethics and aesthetics does and should cash out in very "practical" stuff like having money and not dying, you think it's much more arbitrary and "practical"-sounding justifications are ad hoc. But also my view leaves a lot of room for like, simple pleasures that are part "behavioral loops" that result in practical stuff. Like, don't just clean your house in order to avoid getting sick from black mold etc, tidy it and make it look nice and decorate it. Don't just take care of your health, instead try to make your body more to your tastes not just in health and function but also in appearance and gender expression. Objectivists are like this too, that's why there's so much sex and partying in Atlas Shrugged and the evil dictator is a slob (it keeps mentioning that his shirt has a droopy collar and he doesn't get it starched).
So, for me, it's not exactly that I think ethics and aesthetics are especially arbitrary in actuality, it's more that I think it's better to model them that way.
Like, in reality I do think that a lot of the desires that people have cash out to a small-ish set of "practical"/"visceral" desires, things like self-preservation, desire for food, for sex, for companionship, for admiration, for entertainment, etc. And even a lot of these basic desires share an evolutionary origin, e.g. we evolved to want food because that urge is useful to keep us alive and so on. But, speaking about any individual person and why they seek out food, their answer isn't going to be "because I want to survive, and I rationally concluded that food is necessary for that". It's mostly a pre-rational urge, they're hungry so they seek food. It's effectively axiomatic. This is evident in the fact that they may eat foods which actually aren't good for their survival, like junk food, because those foods taste better or sate their hunger better, etc. People also usually have a desire to survive, which might be strong enough to motivate them to stop eating junk food, but it's certainly best to model these two desires as separate things, individually axiomatic and sometimes conflicting, even though in a biological sense they derive from the same place.
Right, so, I assume(?) you agree already to some degree or another with the above, it seems pretty necessary for modeling human behavior. But I think that what I do is basically to extend this model to more types of desires, even those that indeed may be rationally derived from more "basic" ones as above. Like, if someone tells me they want to live in a snowy, cold weather place... maybe it's because they feel better at that temperature, or they like the smell of pines, or they are more attracted to the way people dress in cold-weather climates, or whatever. Probably it's a complicated mix of a bunch of factors. Unless I know them really well, I can't model all that. So it's useful to just be like "what they want is to live in a cold place; noted" and treat it as basically an axiom.
I guess this is all really tied up in the way that I see ethics generally, which is something that I think about as like, diplomacy, negotiation, an attempt at finding a satisfactory compromise between different people with different wants. So it's useful to think in terms of "what demands are people laying out? What's on the bargaining table?". I can't possibly model everyone's internal reasons for wanting what they want, what I need is an understanding of what people seem to want, and knowledge of how they're willing to trade some wants off against others. Obviously internal modeling can help with this, but at a certain point it's not practically achievable. You just gotta take people's word for it.
Right, so, that's part of it. But the other part is that I think this kind of, uh, official agnosticism towards where desires come from is useful for dealing with psychological variation. Because while it's true that lots of people's desires seem to cash out to a small generating set common to most of us, I think it's also true that some of our desires cannot be derived from this set, and furthermore that perhaps most of us have at least a few desires of this type.
Like, a big part of this is informed by being unusual in various ways (I don't love "neurodivergent", but it's true), and having to argue with people to get my needs met.
A lot of people seem really dedicated to their own substantive system of right and wrong, derived from what they think the wants and needs of "ordinary" people are. Often I'll have some need that is not covered by this, and I'll go "look, I have need X, I'm happy to go out of my way and do Y to accommodate the fact that I am asking you to be considerate of X, let's figure out something that can work for both of us". And their response is very often something like "no, [according to my substantive ethics] it's unfair of you to ask X, and it would also be unfair of me to ask Y ". So what's happening here is that their dedication to this substantive system is getting in the way of them making a compromise that would be good for everyone. And I then need to frame my own need X in terms of some substantive things that they already endorse, make it comprehensible within their system, before they take it seriously as a negotiating point. I find things much easier when people are willing to skip the substantive analysis step and just go straight to "ok, you want X, I want Y, let's negotiate".
So that's really where this is coming from. Yes, I think the bulk of human desires seem to derive from some fairly small set of axioms/terminal goals/whatever, but I also think:
It's really hard to know what exactly is in that set, and to usefully predict what people's on-the-ground desires will be from it, because modeling people psychologically is hard.
There is enough psychological variation in people that an individual's own personal set of terminal goals may differ from the consensus set in a morally- or socially-relevant way, and this happens often.
And so if you see ethics as being about negotiating some sort of "ideal" compromise between different people with different desires, it's better to imagine that anyone could walk up to you one day with basically any old want and be prepared (at least in some philosophical sense) to be able to handle that.
Uh, something like that.
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My preference headcanons for every MLB character! (🌈 Happy Pride Month 🌈)
Note: These are MY personal preference headcanons for the characters. Take it with a grain of salt. Our opinions are allowed to differ, but please respect mine and I’ll respect yours.
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Marinette: Bi, Female Leaning. I see her going both ways, but the reason why I see her female leaning is:
I personally just like that idea! ❤️
It seems that she’s more comfortable with girls than boys (I know that doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s attracted to girls, but eh. Still like the idea).
Her crush on Adrien seems comphet to me (yes, that can happen to Bi people too).
She can be that “preppy queer” archetype.
Adrien: Pan. I was THIS close to making Adrien Bi (female leaning), but I settled with him being Pan. Why? For the sole reason that I see Chat Noir as Pan (and Adrien IS Chat Noir lol). It makes sense 😄 I’m also starting to see him as Gender-fluid.
Alya: Bi, Female Leaning. Listen, I ALWAYS saw Alya into girls, even before her and Nino got together in Animan to be honest with you. But according to canon, it seems like she’s even Straight or Bi, since she’s shown attraction to boys. I mean, she COULD be a comphet Lesbian, but meh. I don’t want to erase the possibility of her being Bi because of her attraction to boys too. We need more Bi rep. 😜 So basically, I now see her as Bi, but female leaning. She prefers girls, but Nino is a sweetie pie 😊
Nino: Bi, female leaning. Nino prefers girls more, but he doesn’t mind dudes either 😉 I actually ship him and Adrien together. If it wasn’t for the love square and DJWifi, I think Nindrien would’ve been more popular.
Chloe: Closest Bi, comphet. Some people might see her as token Straight or a closest Lesbian, but I’ve finally decided that she likes both genders equally. Similar with Marinette, I just see her crush on Adrien as heteronormativity/comphet and also because she’s confusing her plantonic love for him with romantic.
Zoe: Queer. Tbh, I don't know right now. We don't know if she's gay, Bi or anything else, but we DO know that she's queer. She hasn’t shown any interest in boys in canon yet, but I don’t want to throw out the possibility of her being Bi/Pan yet either. 
Sabrina: Closest Pan. Sabrina is the type who thought that she was just an Straight Ally who doesn’t care who’s with who when it came to other peoples’s happiness. Love is love after all. Eventually she finds out that SHE HERSELF doesn’t care either when it comes to HER preferences lol 😂
Luka: Bi, simple but obvious 😌
Kagami: Pan & Demi. Use to see her as Bi (female leaning), but she doesn’t care as long as she can have a strong connection with them. I also see her as a Polyamorous Demi. She’s fine with being in a relationship with more than one person, but only if she has a strong connection with them. When you think about it, I guess that kind of makes Mari and Adrien Polyamorous too since Adrigaminette is my OTP3 huh? 😅
Rose: Pan. Rose loves everybody and anybody. She doesn’t care who it is 😊
Jeluka: Lesbian. I don’t really see Jeluka with any males and I don’t think that I ever did. She’s my little goth Lesbean! 😊
Kim: Bi. He’s perfectly fine with both, as long as he’s having fun 😄
Max: Biromantic Ace, Male Leaning, use to see him as Pan, but I see him more as male leaning now. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t mind girls though. Ones who are kind, sweet or/and match his intellect 😊
Ordine: Straight. Meh, I don’t really see her with females 🤷🏾♀️ Ordine ships like Kagami, Alix and Aurore etc. don’t interest me. Might change in the future, but I don’t know.
Mylene: Bi & Demi (male leaning). Her and Ivan together are pretty cute, and I don’t put it pass her to be interested in other boys too. But she is queer.
Ivan: Straight. Ivan was the first character in MLB that I saw as Straight lol
Nathaniel: Bi. I don’t ship him with anyone anymore, but that doesn’t mean he’s not a bi-bean to me 😛 I’m pretty sure he’ll find someone one day.
Marc: Gay, Trans, and Gender-fluid. I don’t really see Marc with girls anymore, so he’s gay now 😛 Also, I know he’s already Androgynous, but I also see him as Trans & Gender-fluid.
Alix: Aromatic Lesbian & Bigender. Like with Max (Ace), Alix was confirmed Aromatic, but I still do see her as a Lesbian. I don’t really imagine Alix being in an long term relationship, but she is interested in females. I did headcanon her Bi in the past, but I don’t really see her interested in any boys anymore tbh
Lila: Pan. She doesn’t care who it is, as long as she can manipulate them to her advantage…🤷♀️ Don’t get me wrong though, I do imagine Lila being capable of love and falling for someone, but not immediately.
Aurore: Lesbian (Comphet). I don’t ship her with any boys at all, and all my ships with her are with girls.
Mirelle: Bi (Comphet). Similar with Aurore. Also, I also ship them on the same level as Julrose.
Gabriel: Straight, but I don’t like the idea of him being the stereotypical homophobic parent. He’s a shitty person and parent, but it’s not because he’s homophobic. I did see him as bicurious in the past tho lol
Emillie: Bi. Meh, she gives off that kind of energy, even if she’s been in a coma 😜
Natalie: Bi. I like the headcanon that she’s a Bi woman who had feelings for Emillie too, as well as Gabriel (formally). I don’t know how true that is now, but meh. Still my headcanon.
Ms Mendeleiev: Lesbian. I see her being into women solely for the reason that I shipped her with Bustier lol 😅
Miss Bustier: Bi, but now just Queer. Similar with Zoe, we don't know if she's gay, Bi or anything else, but we DO know that she's queer/sapphic. 
Socqueline: Queer/Sapphic. We most certainly know she’s into girls, especially cute preppy ones that so happen to attend the same school that she use to attend, sees her as a role model to the point where she adapted her hairstyle, is into fashion, works at her parents bakery and unfortunately tends to have crushes on boys who are dum-dums instead of also acknowledging her obvious attraction to girls! 😤
..Wait wha-?
Fei: Lesbian. Plain and simple. Makes sense.
Felix: Like Zoe, I’m not absolutely sure yet. But I do see him being part of the Ace Spectrum.
The other characters I don’t really care about enough to have preference headcanons for. So if you want to know my preference headcanon about them, ask me.
#miraculous ladybug#ml#mlb#miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir#miraculous#miraculous tales of ladybug and cat noir#miraculousbeezcentral#marinette dupain cheng#adrien agreste#chloe bourgeois#alya cesaire#nino lahiffe#zoe lee#sabrina raincomprix#luka couffaine#lila rossi#kagami tsurugi#mlb shipping#ml shipping#ml headcanons#pride#pride month#lgbtq#lgbtqia
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