#you can have it headcanons
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Pregnancy cuteness stuff for you can have it (cause that's a ways off and I keep thinking about the cuteness of iiiiit)
If you don't want to know what cuteness lies ahead, feel free to skip this!
Feyre and Rhys are very adamant about getting reader pregnant- they try as often as you let them, and they're both firm believers that an omegas pleasure increases fertility
Your scent changes slowly, but once it's noticeable the two of them are all over you, constantly scenting you
Doctors visits are a weekly occurance for you, sometimes twice a week if one of them is fussing over a symptom you're having (usually Rhys)
Morning sickness is no joke, and one if not both of them are always there, holding your hair back
If one of them leaves your side for more than an hour or leaves the house, they bring you back a gift or treat.
Once you start having cravings, Feyre and Rhys go above and beyond to get you what you need- including cooking or baking for you (well, Feyre sits on the counter with you and looks cute/gives you aaall of the attention while the two of you watch Rhys)
When you sleep, Rhys and Feyre sleep on either side of you, Rhys closest to the door. They keep one hand on your bump at all times no matter which position you sleep in.
Once they can hear the baby's heartbeat, Feyre spends at least a half an hour with her ear to your stomach listening every day. When Rhys is feeling stressed and tired, the two of you curl up on a couch together, with you sitting on one end (with a pillow, of course) and Rhys laying with his head on your lap and an ear against your tummy.
They become even more protective, even going as far as to growl at any alphas that enter your bakery, until you finally break and put an end to it. They grovel a bit, and tone down their aggression towards everyone who comes within ten feet of you.
Once you start nesting, Feyre is always with you. She helps you do everything, coaxes you to eat and forces you to bathe even if she has to drag you from your nest (as much as it hurts her to hear you cry). Rhys brings replacements of fabrics every few days, and they switch them out while you're asleep. Rhys brings food for the both of you, and anything he thinks of that you might want- from cute stuffies to books to tea and treats.
You start having emotional outbursts after a couple of months, mainly over your alphas- how cute, pretty, sexy they are, if they get you something you cry about it until they hold you and stroke your hair.
When you're finally in labor, Feyre and Rhys are absolute messes. They take turns sitting behind you and supporting your body, but for every tear you shed, they shed one too (or more).
I'm just obseeeessed with these threeee I'm so excited for everything about this series! I can't wait for possessive, jealous Feyre and worry wart Rhys. I love them so much alreadyyy and I haven't even written them yeeeet
#you can have it#you can have it headcanons#feysand x reader omegaverse#feysand x reader#poly!feysand x reader#tato talks#feysand x pregnant!reader
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thinking about your older bf!simon that cannot cope with being far from you.
when you’re in the shower, he’s sat on the lid of the toilet on his phone (watching those rug cleaning videos) enjoying your faint singing under the stream of water, the smell of your body wash on the cloud of steam- ready to pass you a towel or get your back.
when you’re at your desk, working from home or studying, he’s just on the other side of it reading the paper with one outstretched leg tangled with both of yours. he’s dead quiet when you’re on a call, just happy to be around.
when you’re doing laundry, collecting the clothes in the hamper and crouching to stuff them into the washer- turning around and accidentally colliding with a thick wall of muscle.
“sorry, love”
he steps aside but you can hear his soft footfalls as he continues to follow you throughout your home.
when you’re both watching something on the couch, what starts as his pinky locked with yours turns into his arm around your waist. that turns into your head on his chest, which culminates with you falling asleep in his lap with his cheek on your head and soft snores emanating from his lips.
when you grocery shop, you push the trolley but his chest is to your back, arms either side of you and hands clasped over yours on the handle. you can thank his military training for his uncanny ability to tell exactly when you’ll stop walking.
when he wakes up in the middle of the night, on a rare occasion when you’ve managed to slip out of bed without him realising, he’s immediately in a panic calling your name.
“in here, my love”
as soon as his heart settles, he realises the bathroom light was probably a dead giveaway. you’re taking a wee, you’ll be back in a minute.
that doesn’t stop a sleepy simon from leaning in the doorframe, shielding his eyes from the big light as he waits for you to finish up.
even on the short walk back to bed, you can feel fingers twisted in the back of your shirt- almost like you’re leading the way.
minute you’re both on the mattress, you’re being wrapped up in his arms, slotting you perfectly into the curve of his front- almost like you’re made for him.
(and you are)
#idk idk IDK i just want to he needed by him#he’s so big and strong and independent he spends his whole life doing things himself#doing the hard stuff on his own- i like to think at homes he’s needy#and i like to think you let him because he deserves it#doesn’t have to be big strong soldier at home he can be a little whimp#older bf!simon#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley blurb#simon ghost riley blurb#simon riley drabble#simon ghost riley drabble#simon riley headcanon#simon ghost riley headcanon
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I think about this call so much
#like why did he say it like that#he's my favorite misterious silly guy#this can also be non au if you just headcanon Papyrus having holes in his hand because dadster#but I'm posting it here anyways#papyrus#undertale#forgettable-au#undertale fanart
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Call this the Whoopsie AU (it's barely an AU)
I mean. Narinder never explicitly SAID the Lamb would stay dead... :3c He probably should have been more specific. >:3c
Part Two:
Well. The Lamb tried, but...sorry, Nari, the crown hates you now. Shouldn't have been so quick to lend it out, I guess. :D
Aaaand Part Three:
'Isn't he just adorable?' -The Lamb, probably, while their followers smile and nod and internally scream at the brand new hellcat they now have to share living space with...
Anyway, nothing says 'Dead To Me' like following a person around to loudly remind them of how dead they are to you. Right? Right. Narinder's got this all figured out. <:]
#fanart#comics#cult of the lamb#cotl#narilamb#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#cotl yellow cat#this is my headcanon and i'm sticking to it#the lamb is a goofy stabby-babby goober and narinder is just a grumpy asshole who constantly velcroes onto them for hella snuggles#look - if you've been trapped in the afterlife void for over a thousand years - you are GONNA want a fuckton of snuggles#that's just science#the scribble comic i did with narinder and the yellow cat can technically work as part four i guess#only instead of the lamb Going Gremlin at the attempt to steal their other followers' devotion#they just comin' at him for Rad Cuddles OuO#someday i will draw these two with the proper height difference i imagine them having#today is not that day#today is also not the day i pin down exactly how long i want narinder's tail to be#(but i want it to be Very Long - just because)#there are inconsistencies here and there and probably some mistakes but i have been working on these for a week and i am So Tired guys#EDIT: haha yeah i forgot to color in narinder's fukken ears again#fuk :)#EDIT 2: i fixed it but it's probably too late at this point lmao#EDIT 3: THE LAMB'S FUKKEN HORNS JFC#i am not editing this thing anymore cuz i need sleep and the mistakes are already out there *dies of artist mortification*
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People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again
#My art#One Piece#Long post#Sir Crocodile#Nico Robin#Alternatively panel 5 would've been a close up of Crocodile's face from Robin's POV where he looks like he's giving her a death glare#Not intentionally he's just a big scary bastard with a Resting Murder Face and Robin is a small traumatized child#But I wanted to focus on the silliness of the moment so you get the goofy version instead#IDK man there's just something very funny to me about the idea of Robin just randomly info-dumping about a subject she's read about#And Crocodile being like ''?????????????????????? The fuck you talking about??''#Robin leaves the ship's kitchen and Crocodile just stares at the tomato like ''...It's a fruit? Forreal?''#(Meanwhile Robin is sweating bullets like ''I called his favorite vegetable a FRUIT right in his FACE he's going to KILL ME'')#Robin grew extra feet from the bottom of her feet to reach the counter and that actually isn't me trying to explain bad art away#In the original Papadile comic there was a panel of Robin doing the dishes with extra feet to reach the sink but I cut it out#(It was a stress relief comic I did not feel like drawing a complicated background in detail) (BUT YES I THOUGHT OF IT)#Nico Robin Age 11 is *more* than capable of cooking Crocodile just does not trust her with his food. At least not yet#She did start doing the dishes unprompted and continues to do so (mostly out of fear). Croc told her she didn't have to but allows it#IDK a lot of people seem to headcanon Crocodile as incapable of cooking and like. Surely Mr ''I don't trust people'' knows how to cook#Like he doesn't have to be a master chef or anything but and maybe he enjoys not HAVING to cook (pain in the ass with one hand + knife/hook#But surely he can cook decent enough. SURELY#Botanists don't @ me I know the ''tomato is a fruit'' thing isn't fully accurate this is just a silly little haha comic
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* e.g. in interviews/social media saying things like "I played this scene as x character being in love with y character" making it canon that x loves y, or "I view x as bisexual" even if they aren't bi within the show itself, or just general statements on backstory/details that aren't included within the show
#i'm a definite no#i've thought this before. like an actor saying they think a character is bi isn't the same as the character being canonically bi#i've been thinking about it a lot with how many 911 fans have taken what lou's been saying about tommy in cameos and stuff as canon#like you can agree with an actor or incorporate their perspective into your analysis or headcanons#but ultimately to me canon is what's shown/said on screen#polls
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18+ mdni; gn!reader
thinking about roomie!suguru, who steps out of the bathroom with just a towel hanging loosely around his waist. it's dangerously low and his happy trail is... leading your eyes to a forbidden place. water droplets cascade down his temple and his neck, his scarred chest and his toned muscles.
he finishes drying his hair with another, smaller towel before slinging it over his shoulder. he gives you a warm smile. there's still a bit of sleep in his tired eyes but he looks fresh, he looks good.
(he looks more than good.)
the morning light shines in through the small window of your shared kitchen and he hums at the smell of coffee. you're an angel leaning on the counter, hands busy with preparing your drink as he steps inside.
he chuckles. he asked you a question but you didn't hear it. he smells so fucking good; the smell of his shampoo and his fancy conditioner wash over your senses and it's easy to forget where you are. his eyes flick behind you before walking over to you with a smug little grin.
he bores his sharp purple eyes into yours – he loves how you react to him. he doesn't shy away from it, he's cockier than he looks. he loves the attention, he loves to be in your spotlight. he wouldn't care so much if you were a stranger, if you were a random person on the street ogling away, ut you're neither of those things, are you? no, you're something else.
he exudes warmth as he towers over you, his head tilted down to keep his eyes on you. he wants to play with you a little – he loves the way you're staring up at him right now. eyes big and wide, lip tucked under between your teeth. he's good with people, he can read them like a book and you're no different. he sees you swallow a dry lump, he sees you grace him with a flustered smile as you try to brush by the fact that he caught you admiring him red handed. he sees the way you're taking deeper breaths than normal, surely just to keep your composure. he can't wait to break you.
his arm reaches behind you to turn off the coffee machine with a small click.
"wouldn't wanna make a mess this early in the morning, now would we?"
melting. crumbling. falling down to your knees. you hate how much he teases (you love it), you hate how patronizing he sounds (it's hot). he's the only one that can get away with it – a charming smile that hides his deepest desires of sinking his teeth into little lambs like you, soft eyes that hide the need to watch them unfold before him.
his gentle hands long to hold, long to keep and covet. he thinks about you a lot; your shared mornings and afternoons, your exhausted naps and bitter rants about your days. shy gazes and lingering touches, stupid jokes and the cute little hidden sounds he keeps hearing from your room in the late hours. he's being patient, he's warming you up.
he's just as infatuated with you as you are with him. he's just more subtle with it.
or is he?
because you've heard him, too.
you don't know whether he's doing it unknowingly or he's actually trying to make you go insane – whichever it is, you are ready to bend at his will. soft groans accompanied by a steady slick pump; you didn't mean to listen in. you just wanted to make sure he's okay!
ear against the wooden door, you listened to him think about you. your name was on the tip of his tongue, but it was too early for that. he wants to smear you with his honey, he wants to drag you in but he needs to wait for it. this is perfect.
he did know you're were there.
he heard the floor creak, he heard the cutest gasp that left your pretty lips. fuck, you're perfect. his head was lolled back as he stroked himself to the thought of your wide, doe-eyes. how flustered you'd be, how flustered you were in that very moment. he imagined your trembling hands and your stuttered words and his dick twitched in his palm.
he thought about inviting you in and just making him watch as a form of punishment, for being a little pervert. he shuddered out a laugh and watched a glob of pre-cum cover his own fingers before mixing with the saliva and spit that's covering him already. he thought about making you sit between his legs so he could jerk off right in front of your beautiful face, he thought about your wobbly lips, your teary eyes. the way your thighs would press together.
your fingers would itch and twitch and he'd make you place them on your legs. he wouldn't want you to touch. yet. maybe he'd make you apologize and maybe he'd make you kiss the tip. he thought about how good you'd smell, how good you'd taste. another raspy groan crawled up his throat and you were about to cum untouched behind his door. like a creep.
he loves it. he's proud of you, he wants to push you even further. he wants to see what else he can make you do. this is exciting and he can't wait to devour you whole as a reward after he's done bullying himself into your body and your mind. utterly loved and corrupted—
— you're meant for him.
#SUGURUUUUUU I HAVE BEEN NEGLECTING YOUUU I APOLOGIZEEE I LOVE YOU SOOOSO MUCH#where'd i get the inspo for this? i listened to deftones in the shower😌😌😌😌😌#i love this suguru btw#HE'S STILL A LOVERBOY THOUGHHH#but he's a sneaky little thing you know#he likes to play with his prey before he goes in for the bite#the love bite ofc#ALSO headcanoning him as the biggest deftones listenerrrrr lani and salem are you hearing meeeeeeeee#we're gonna have one big makeout sesh!!!!!!#sugu#geto#geto x reader#geto drabble#geto x you#jjk#geto suguru#geto suguru drabble#wtf mickey can write#geto smut#geto suguru x reader#jjk geto#jjk x reader#jjk drabble#bro i can't make sense of present and past and future apparently#my apologies
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Golden Boy (and Silver Girl) for the Kintsugi AU.
#zutara#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#katara#atla fanart#atla art#prince zuko#zutara au#kintsugi au#kintsugi#fire lord zuko#katara x zuko#zuko x katara#katara fanart#katara art#katara of the southern water tribe#zutara fanart#zutara art#Lore update!#Despite adopting Kintsugi as their official practice to promote cultural superiority; Kintsugi is not inherently Fire Nation#The other nations practice Kintsugi as well. Though ever since the War started it's much more uncommon to see outside of the Fire Nation#The Earth Kingdom seal their scars in bronze. The high nobles consider it to be unbecoming so it's much more common in the middle classes.#Kintsugi is much more well received in the SWT than it is up North. The NWT believe it to be barbaric. A foreign practice adopted by the...#...less civilised South. You can imagine the outrage and scorn Katara received when arriving North with a quite noticeable silver scar.#It is the seal of a Southern Warrior. She got hers during the same raid that took Kya. Hakoda himself has quite a few...#While Sokka tried to give himself a Kintsugi scar (it did NOT go well)#The Air Nomads didn't practice Kintsugi! Theirs was a naturalist approach. Your body is yours to cherish and protect just as it naturally is#These ideas were shared with me by some amazing people! If you have any headcanon or idea regarding this (or any) of my AUs let me know!#It makes me so happy to inspire you! Even if it's just a little. I'd love to hear all your thoughts and rambles!!!
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Tav, using their Pet Owner Voice: What have you got in your mouth? What are you eating? Drop it! Drop it right now!
Scratch: [whines and drops Wyll's boot]
Owlbear Cub: [guiltily spits out Boo, alive and unharmed]
Halsin, currently a bear: [drops a half-eaten salmon and makes an indignant noise]
Astarion: [startles at the raised voice, lets go of Tav's wrist, reclaims it and goes back to his breakfast once he realises they're not talking to him]
Gale: [chewing faster]
Tav, sternly: Gale...
Gale: [reluctantly spits out a powerful magical artefact into Tav's outstretched hand]
Tav, muttering under their breath: Can't have shit in the Gate.
Gale, ruefully rubbing the back of his neck, also under his breath: Gods forbid a wizard do anything
#bg3#incorrect bg3#bg3 headcanons#they have all been the target of What Have You Got In Your Mouth at least once lmao#gale dekarios#halsin#astarion ancunin#scratch the dog#owlbear cub#tav#can also count as#bg3 prompts#this is likely not as funny as i think it is but it killed me how many of them this could apply to
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y’know what? fuck you. *UNGRAYSCALES YOUR ISATS*
no wait come back there’s greyscale versions under the cut :(
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#odile more like. oteal. gottem#anyways color headcanons!!! these’ve been brewing in my head for a little while#especially euphrasie. i genuinely didn’t process everything being in greyscale until after she was introduced#my color headcanon for her was so engrained within me that i didn’t realize she wasn’t colored#everyone else came pretty easily. except for odile#i don’t really see her wearing like. saturated colors?#i just defaulted to teal because i like tinting black hair teal#her purple-ish shirt was supposed to be like. a subtle hint to her being half vaugardian#since all of my vauguardians have warmer color palettes#but idrk how well that translates. oh well!#im like 90% sure i chose purple for mira because of plums. even though mirabelle plums aren’t purple#but by the time i realized that her colors were set in stone in my brain#i’d go on about design details for the others but these tags are already outrageously long as is#so uh. oops. can you tell i like talking about character design
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oh yeah i forgot to post this here too
#can you believe this is the first time im drawing actual drone nori and not cori#hopefully you cant cause it is#i think im Getting A Grip on my artstyle again#hopefully#headcanon nori never got her right glove back after getting it cut off so she only has the left one#its small but let me have this#she is a gamer. and she respawned. perfect#not as intricate as my other posts but im tired and dont have many ideas bite me#art#murder drones#murder drones nori#yeah thats about it for relevant tags i think
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DP x DC: The Most Dangerous Card Game
Ok so Danny has essentially claimed earth as his. And he is fully aware that there are constant threats to the planet. Now he can’t stop a threat that originates on earth (that’s something he’ll leave to the Justice league) but he can do something about outside threats. Doing some research on ancient spells, rituals, and artifacts, he cast a world wide barrier on the planet to protect it from hostile threats so they cannot enter. This will prevent another Pariah Dark incident. However, barriers like this come at a price. You see, there are two ways to make a barrier. Either make one powered up by your own energy and power (which would be constantly draining) or set up a barrier with rules. The way magic works is that nothing can be absolutely indestructible. It must have a weakness. The most powerful barriers weren’t the ones reinforced with layer after layer of protective charms and buffed up with power. Those could eventually be destroyed either by being overpowered, wearing them down, or by cutting off the original power source. No, the most powerful barriers were the ones with a deliberate weakness. A barrier indestructible except for one spot. A cage that can only be opened from the outside. Or that can only be passed with a key or by solving a riddle. So Danny chooses this type of barrier and does the necessary ritual and pours in enough power to make it. And he adds his condition for anyone to enter.
Now the Justice league? Find out about the barrier when Trigon attempts to attack, they were preparing after he threatened what he would do once he got to earth. How he would destroy them. The Justice league tried to take the fight to him first but were utterly destroyed, so they retreated home to tend to their injuries, and fortify earth for one. Last. Stand. Only when Trigon makes his big entrance…he’s stopped.
The Justice league watch in awe as this thin see-through barrier with beautiful green swirls and speckled white lights like stars apears blocking Trigon and his army’s advance. The barrier looks so thin and fragile yet no matter how hard the warlord hits, none of his attacks can get through and neither can he damage said barrier. That’s when Constantine and Zatanna recognizes what this barrier is. Something only a powerful entity could create. For a moment, the league is filled with hope that Trigon can’t get through yet Constantine also explains that it’s not impenetrable. And clearly Trigon knows this too for he calls out a challenge.
And that’s when, in a flash of light, a tiny glowing teenager appears. He looked absolutly minuscule compared to Trigon and yet practically glowed with power (this isn’t a King Danny AU though).
And that is when the conditions for passing the barrier are revealed. And the Justice realize that the only thing stopping Trigon and his army from decimating earth. The only way he can get through….is by beating this glowing teenager in a card game.
Not just any card game though. The most convoluted game Sam, Danny, and Tucker invented themselves. It’s like the infinite realms version of magic the gathering, combined with Pokémon, and chess. And Danny is the master. So sit down Trigon and let’s play.
(The most intense card game of the Justice league’s life).
After Danny wins, this happens a few more times with outer word beings and possibly even demons attempting to invade earth, yet none have been able to beat the mysterious teenager in a card game. Constantine might even take a crack at it and try to figure out how to play. He’s really bad though. Every time this happens, the Justice league worry that this might be the time the teenager looses. Yet every time, he wins (even if only barely).
Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker have gotten addicted to the game and play it almost daily. Some teachers might seem them playing the game are are like ‘awww how cute’ not realizing this game is literally saving the world. Jazz is just happy they aren’t spending as much time on their screens playing Doomed.
#DPxDC#Kizzer55555 ideas#Danny makes a card game to save the world.#Technically he worded the ritual so that they had to ‘beat’ him as those are the most powerful barriers and most reliable.#keys can just get lost or stolen (like the one to Pariah’s Coffin)#A riddle would be useless once someone figured out the answer. Like how no one takes the sphynx seriously anymore.#(Sorry Tuck. But it’s true).#And there is NO WAY Danny is just leaving a hole open for anyone to pass through. No thank you!#So…beating him. But it’s not like Danny wanted to fight so…he edited the ritual a TINY bit. Card games are good. Much less painful too.#Danny Tucker and Sam made the most complicated card game they could imagine.#It’s based on their strategies for fighting ghosts. Capturing them in thermoses. And MUCH based on a on field battle strategy.#It often requires spontaneous thinking on the spot. So Danny? In his ELEMNT. It doubles as practice for his actual ghost battles too.#They had SO much fun making this.#Sam added an entire series of plant cards that act as traps and healing ointments and duds that just take up the field.#Tucker added legitimate hyroglyphics combined with Latin as well as English and ghost speak.#Yes. You actually have to speak that language to play. With proper pronunciation. (Amity Parker’s think the three are talking gibberish.)#I headcanon Sam and Tucker are fluent in Ghost.#Constantine WILL figure this game out SO HELP HIM!#Some of the cards also have combinations related to constellations either in name or placement on the board.#By the way the board is based on a Hexagonal summoning circle with Rhunes along the edges#And the placement of the cards on the board and on what rhune MATTERS.#Also the cards move disintegrate and have certain abilities. Think of Harry Potter Wizard Chess.#But they are normal when Danny plays at school. This is just for ✨effect✨ Against invaders.#Danny faces multiple opponents. He also halts alien invasions.#While Danny COULD stop crime on earth he’s not sure how to fight a normal human and hold back so he sticks to ghosts.#The Justice league are going crazy trying to figure out who this entity is and after deep research are convinced this is some sort of#Ancient being who has protected earth for millenia. They have paintings on ruins and everything.#Danny is not aware they think this.#Raven starts praying to Danny as if he is a god and wrangles the other Teen Titans into doing so as well. Danny is still unaware of this.#Danny is not a King or an ancient. Just a very VERY strong ghost.
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“honey” is such an ‘old married couple’ nickname. i usually hate pet names, especially for percy and annabeth, but i’m not gonna lie guys…. i kinda love the thought of them sometimes referring to each other as honey?? like, i can just hear it. “honey you know i respect and value your opinions so so much, but can you shut up for like 2 minutes?” “honey you know i love you and your great plans, but can you not get us fucking killed?” “hey honey can you use your sword to cut the tag off my dress?” “wise girl, honey, why is nico asleep in our guest room… again?” peak romance? i think yes. also annabeth is from the south, so it actually makes so much sense.
it’s so unexpected, but also so fitting?? idk for some reason i love it. just me? send help
#whoever comments/reblogs the best incorrect percabeth quote using honey wins#i’m not sure what the reward is#idk maybe you can ask me the most unhinged and uncomfortable question and i have to answer it#or something else idk#but i love them calling each other honey#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth#chalice of the gods#pjo#heroes of olympus#percy jackson and the olympians#rick riordan#riordanverse#pjo headcanons
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silly comic based on a time i struggled to read live on stream :thumbsup:
context clip compilation below ASDASDFASA
(cw for brief mention of hospitals/strokes)
#in stars and time#isat#isat odile#isat siffrin#isat spoilers#<- not big ones but the convo this stems from occurs on 3rd floor before king act 2 so#cw hospital#cw stroke#<- brief stroke talk in the clip thats why#odile i am so sorry for making u deal with the fact that i cant read#or just input words?? where there arent any??? i dont know why i do that????#these streams have made me realize i sometimes just autofill words when reading SAFADDA#also random side headcanon i was thinking of while drawing this#is odile speaks alot with her hands?#idk why i just think its fun?#and kinda makes sense as someone who has travelled a lot thru different countries?#personal observation but you can convey/tell a lot without knowing a much of a different language via body language#as someone who grew up with family who spoke a different language that i do not speak LMAO#especially hands!! those say a lot!!#reading body langauge/tone helped me a lot when guessing if what was being talked about a good thing or not#tho tone to a lesser extent since uh it can be hard to tell at times i think ASDFDA#so it makes sense to me???#the art of pointing in general location is a universal skill i think?? yea#to a lesser extent i think siffrin might do this? but more subdued/under the cloak so#the cloak ends up getting in the way 90% of the time so no one can actually see that lmao#okay tag talk over#no stream time today because weather boooooo storms
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Reverse trope
where instead of the Bats forgetting that they’re adopted (something actual adoptees do on occasion and is hilarious) they forget that some of them *cough Damian cough* aren’t
_______
Jason in the heat of a probably ridiculous argument: Yeah well YOU’RE adopted!
Tim just as invested in said argument: So are YOU! We all are!
Damian who had previously been quietly watching this unfold while he drank his tea: Actually I’m not
Tim and Jason who didn’t realize he was there but are already DoneTM: …… Damian continuing to sip his tea entirely unbothered: :)
Damian: Because I’m not an orphan-
Jason: ok, yoU KNOW WHAT-
____
or like in their group texts (that we know they have thanks to Nightwing (2016) #79)
*Steph changed the group chat name to “Bruce Wayne’s Personal Orpanage”*
Jason: Really?
Steph: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Steph: It’s the truth Damian: Both my parents are very much alive
Steph: Shhh you don’t count
Cass: Mine too Duke: Technically so are mine
Barbara: I still have a dad so there’s that
Steph: YOU GUYS ARE RUINING THE JOKE
Tim: Stephanie aren’t BOTH of your parents alive???
Steph: KNOW WHAT? FINE
*Steph changed the group chat name to “The Technicality Police”*
Tim: well that’s more accurate at least
Steph: :)
_____
Damian in his 10th argument with Tim of the day: That’s- this is-
Tim in full Antagonizing Big Brother mode: I’m listening
Damian -a Gen Z and best friend to Jon Kent- extremely frustrated: This is such Motherless behavior!
Tim taken aback: [voice cracking] W-what-?
Damian who didn’t mean to say that but doubling down anyway because his bloodline doesn’t believe in admitting mistakes: THIS! This is such Motherless behavior!
The rest of the family who is also motherless: :O
Cass whose been spending way too much time with Meme Queen Stephanie Brown and not involved in the argument but finding it entertaining regardless: [nodding along seriously] Facts
Tim: [visibly betrayed] CASS WHAT-
A video copy of the interaction gets sent out anonymously to the entire family. Barbara is the prime suspect but there is no proof as of yet (and they will never find any)
Steph, Cass, and Duke continue to respond “Motherless behavior” everytime one of the bats does something they deem questionable/insane. It is said often
It only stops when one night in the middle of patrol. Batman is in full Dark Knight mode (possibly in the middle of threatening someone) and descends from the ceiling into the middle of a warehouse drug deal, dark cape billowing out behind him-
and Steph just automatically whispers “Motherless behavior” forgetting her com was still very much on
She immediately realizes what she said and frantically apologizes but it’s too late.
Bruce just- Blue Screens. Completely stunned into silence
Dick -who was unfortunate enough to be the one teamed up with Batman tonight- is fighting for his life to choke back his laughter
Jason doesn’t even try to stop his and has collapsed to his knees from lack of air from how hard he’s laughing. Cass try’s half heartedly patting his back to help to no avail
The criminals are terrified into surrender from The Red Hood just laughing hysterically at seemingly nothing while Batman just Stands There
Damian ends up being the only one still functioning enough to continue arresting everyone, though he is privately amused and strangely proud
Tim and Barbara have saved both the com recordings and cowl footage to at least three different servers and sent it to absolutely everyone before Batman even recovers
Duke finds out second hand the next morning and is furious he missed the chance to see it in person. He declares he is moving to the nightshift so it doesn’t happen again. (He is all talk and goes to bed by 9 pm)
Bruce bans the phrase for life and promises swift and server punishment to anyone who dares to use it again
#Like it’d be so funny#Imagine them on mothers day#Damian at unnecessary volumes: I AM LEAVING TO GO TO VISIT MY MOTHER NOW#Damian: WHERE SHE LIVES.#His brothers on their way to the cemetery or smth: ._.#Damian still going regardless: BECAUSE SHE IS ALIVE#I just know Damian “Certified Mama’s Boy” Wayne would be such a menace about it#And Duke Babs Steph and Cass would so help fan the flames#batfam#dc comics#fanfiction#headcanon#chat fic#Can you tell I read them often#And yes adoptees forget they’re adopted#I have a friend who has on multiple occasions started to tell me about something that “ran in the family”/something in her family history#Before she’ll remember she’s not actually blood related#someone has probably already done this#But I still thinks it’s very funny#No I don’t think Jon would say motherless behavior to someone#But I do think he’d know the phrase and teach Damian#I just imagine he educates him on all the Gen Z lingo don’t ask why#crack post#100% a joke dont take it seriously
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*Bruce and 9yo Dick playing chess*
Dick: Okay, I'm gonna take your pointy, sad-faced guy for my horsey guy.
Bruce: Stop, stop. *pointing to Bishop* What is this piece called?
Dick: I call him Dwight.
#can you tell I'm rewatching Psych for the millionth time#I have COVID :P#boooo#batman#bruce wayne#dc universe#dc#batfam#dick grayson#dc robin#nightwing#batfamily#richard grayson#batman headcanon#psych tv#psych 2006#incorrect batfamily quotes
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