#you can SEE that they're truly in love now

[abby118]

This still hurts. They often say you can fear things so much you unintentionally will them into existence... one of Viktor's fears was being forgotten, not contributing to the world in a way that would make a difference.

And you might say he still went down in history, which is true, in a way, but they remember the Machine Herald. The one person who knew the truth, who knew Viktor, died with him and is now seen as the saviour, as the defender of tomorrow, rightfully so, but the people of Piltover (and Zaun) don't have the full context of those events.

Jayce would hate being the only one credited for their work. He would never have been able to pursue his dream without Viktor. The dream would not have existed without Viktor and Hextech would never have been invented in the first place had Viktor not stopped Jayce's attempt and supported him. That is what happened in the reality Ekko found himself in; Jayce had died and Viktor soon followed because their lives are inextricably bound. There was no cure for his terminal illness with Jayce gone.

Jayce always saw Viktor as his equal on an intellectual and individual level, he saw him as his partner, regardless of his origins and his disability. There is freedom in being seen as a person beyond an illness but seeing someone completely apart from disability, it's easy to lose sight of how deeply they're affected, not just as a struggle or a motivator but as something that completely alters world view. He often forgot Viktor was from the undercity, maybe not consciously, I do believe Jayce was aware of the problems related to Zaun, and the prejudice directed towards Zaunites, but he never quite grasped the full extent of how it affected Viktor. It took Jayce getting disabled and walking a similar path to Viktor's to truly see the world through his eyes, or as close to it as one can get. It took him a fall into the depths of Zaun and a crushed leg, hitting rock bottom in the literal sense of the word, and then having to climb up into Piltover, just like Viktor did, to realise he had unintentionally been overlooking how different Viktor's world was. All those years he had been facing struggles invisible to Jayce and Jayce could never have known because he saw him as an equal, he was still detached from the experience because loving someone with a disability and living with a disability are two things. That is why his words mattered so much. It wasn't coming only from the place of love (whether platonic or romantic that doesn't matter, really, though I'd say it was clear enough) but lived experience.

People's worst fear is often others seeing them the way they see themselves and Jayce did, and it changed nothing. He still loved him the same. "-but you were never broken, Viktor" didn't mean 'You are one of us', it meant 'You are yourself and that's enough, it has always been enough' and there is a difference in those statements. To someone who, despite believing in his work's worth, didn't particularly value himself, there must have been a difference.

The Hexgates were theirs.

You know what I hate? The irony of Viktor teasing Jayce for signing every page of his notes during their first meeting, with the implication that he is afraid someone else might claim his work for themselves, only for Viktor's name to then be erased from the Hexgates documents by the end of Season 2 and their work attributed to Jayce alone.

Like yes, in retrospect, they should have signed every page together, and maybe even put some unremovable watermak on their blueprints so Viktor's involvement couldn't be ignored.

[fakesimp]

A Gift — ft. Lighter

Fluff ; Established Relationship

A/n — Happy birthday Lighter, my love, my Champion.

You're stumped, you have no idea, what to give to the champion. Left wondering if he even remember his own birthday, he should be, right? ..right?

And now here you are, feeling restless as you watch him fight in the ring, winning every single one like the champion he is. Sometimes will glance down to you who's in the crowd, watching him landing punches to his opponent.

It's 4 days before his birthday, Burnice somehow slip up a party conversation for Lighter 3 days ago, you didn't know what the party was for until she told you that your beloved Champion's birthday is coming up. Leaving you in slight panic since you had forgotten about it and have no idea what to give him, now you feel guilty for not remembering his birthday.

So now, your attention is divided into two, watching him in the ring whilst also trying to think of what to give to him. And everything clicks after you got everything planned, it's not too much, not too fancy, but you believe this is enough for him. He probably won't be too fond of anything too fancy right?

So a new day arrives, the first thing you do in the morning, is admiring your man beside you, leaving a short kiss on his forehead, before leaving the bed— well that was the plan till he pulled you back down, postponing your plan for a bit.

"Where are you going at such early hour? I thought we're gonna be all cuddly and things today." He said, seeming a bit sour at the thought of you leaving so early. His arms around your waist, preventing you to leave the bed. "C'mon, just a bit longer. M'tired, can't you pity this champion for a bit?" He let out a groggy chuckle at his own words, "You're the one that's being unexpectedly clingy, not that I'm complaining.." You lowered yourself down, pulling his head close to your chest as you ran your fingers through his hairlocks. Earning a satisfied hum from the male in your arms, maybe you can relax for a bit and start your plan a little late.

After postponing for almost 3 hours, huddled in bed with him, now you're on your way to the flower shop in Lumina square, Dew Gardening Shop. Planning to buy a bouquet for him, and will take the bouquet on his special day. You ponder what flower to buy though, it took you a good while to figure out what flower to buy and you end up with multiple, Red Orchids, Red and Pink Carnations, Red Tulips, Edelweiss, and The classic red roses.

They're mostly red, you chuckled at the choices, maybe his red scarf truly made him so identic, you couldn't even go anywhere without associating the color red to him. Red equals Lighter. After you're done, you told Orchidea that you'll pick them up exactly at 27th.

The bouquet is done, now it's the present, you tried to go here and there, for almost 2 days, you couldn't find it, and you finally relents and asked for Caesar's help to find it.

It's a bell, A Guardian bell. For him.

Thank the God's above the girls helped you finding one, and bought one for you, Burnice was so ecstatic when she knew you're preparing a present for him, though you are feeling quite, not well with the choice you did.

"Hey, it's okay, it's the thought that counts. You preparing a gift for him, i bet he's going to feel all giddy receiving one from you" Lucy said, patting your back as you stare at the small gift that's already wrapped tidily by you. "Yeah! I bet Lighter will love it! Maybe he'll even show them off too." Burnice added, the girls truly made you feel better.

"Thank you guys, I appreciate it. A lot."

And so the day of his Birthday arrives, your eyes flutter open at the sound of your alarm, turning it off you turned to the man beside you, who's sleeping facing down, wearing absolutely nothing on the top, exposing his back for your eyes to see.

The sight of his scars adorning his skin, made you slowly trace your fingers on them, feeling his muscle tensed up under your touch. You then heard a grumble coming from him, he turned his head to you. His hair is literally covering his face. Making you chuckle as you brush them away, "Good morning My Champion." You greeted him, scooting closer to kiss his temple. His arm draped over your waist, pulling you close, he pecked your lips. "Morning.." he replied groggily, you can never move on from how hot he sounds every morning.

You ran your fingers through his hairlocks, hearing him letting out a content sigh as he nuzzled his face to your neck. "Are you leaving early again?" He asked, it's because the last few days you really left him at such early hour, leaving this needy man all alone in bed. Though he didn't want to bother you about it, so he let you go. But today he seemed a bit more clingier than usual, he doesn't seem like he's going to let you go anytime soon.

Last night before you part ways with the girls, you asked them to bring the bouquet for you, somehow your guts are telling you in the morning the man himself won't let you go.

And it actually happened.

"No," You play with his hair as you reply in a whisper, "I've done what I need to do, we can spend the rest of the day together." You added, earning a soft hum from him. "Caesar told me that I'm getting a day off today, I don't know why, I can't really argue with her so, I don't know what to do now." He kissed your neck after he explained his situation, it was you who asked her to tell him to get a day off today. You love her and the girls for being such an amazing wingman.

"Well, I also don't know what to do, maybe we'll figure it out as the time goes on." You press your lips on top of his head, now what you have to do is to wait for the perfect moment to give the present.

But when will that time come? Is it okay to give it to him now? You feel the excitement building up for giving him the present, but at the same time you feel nervous for his reaction. Afterall what you bought for him is something small, but as the girls said, it's the thought that counts. And the present you're planning to give holds so much meaning for bikers like them, since they ride so much into the dangers.

Ah, whatever! You pouted and shook your head, you poked his back, making the male that's currently on your chest wiggled slightly at that action. "What?.." "Get off for a minute, I need to get something." He didn't move for solid 10 minutes, until he begrudgingly move himself from on top of you. "You're not leaving me again now are you?" "No Lighter, I'm just getting something from the wardrobe. Wait there okay?"

His words made you chuckle, he really such a loveable man. Making you want to spoil him with love, much love. You went over to the wardrobe, rummaging through them trying to find that small wrapped gift for him, after you found it. You hid them away from his sight, you saw him laying there, on his sides, the blanket covering nothing, just from his hips all the way down to his foot.

His bare chest exposed for you to admire, his messy hair, his eyes looking at you with so much love and tinged with curiosity. "What you got there?" He asked, his eyes following you as you walk over to his side of the bed, sitting by the edge, he looked at you. Waiting, for your explanation at least.

But just as you're about to explain, someone's knocking by the door, making both of you just jolted in surprise, "I'll get it, stay in bed." Lighter was just about to hop off before he just lay back down again chuckling.

Closing the door of your shared bedroom, you hurriedly went to the front door, it was the girls, smiling at you whilst holding the Bouquet you ordered from Orchidea, "Thank you so much." You whispered, hugging them for a moment before stepping away, earning a whispered good lucks from them before they leave.

Walking back to the bedroom, holding the Bouquet, standing by the closed door, you placed the small gift in between the flower. You contemplate for a moment, should you just walk in or do you call him to go outside. After a good minute of contemplation, you decided to go in, only for you to see the door swung open with him looking down at you holding the Bouquet in hand.

"I," He blinked, staring down at you. "Wait, what day is it today, did I miss our anniversary—" "Lighter no, you dork." You let out a hearty laugh as you hid your embarrassment behind the bouquet. "It's your birthday, I couldn't get you anything.. so I bought you a bouquet and .. that little gift"

You heard a small 'oh' from him, soon enough you felt his rough hands brushing against yours as he took the bouquet off your hands, he stared at the flowers, and then at the gift. Curiously shaking the tiny box, he heard small jingles. "You didn't have to," he said before leading you and himself to the living room, sitting down by the couch together. He put away the bouquet as he stare at the small gift in his hand, "Is this what I think it is?" He asked, you simply shrugged and smiled at him.

He raised a brow, before sighing lovingly at your lack of response, slowly he unwrap the gift, he was so careful with it as if it was the most fragile thing. The moment he sees what the gift is, you see how his lips parted slightly, taking out the bell, he sway them in between his fingers. Hearing a soft ring from it.

"it's not much but I—" "I love it." He beat you to it, "I love it so much, I, thank you." He look over at you, "I'll place this on my bike," he went over to you, sitting on the floor. He pulled you by the waist, "Lighter—!?" The position is so weird at first, but you work it out, you're sitting by the couch, him literally draping half of himself over your lap, hugging you by the waist. "Thank you so much," He said again,

Oh my god, is he, crying?

"Oh Lighter," You immediately coax him to get up, hugging him properly as he slightly shook in your arms, cooing at him oh so gently as you pat his back and put your hand at the back of his head. "I never thought you're gonna react like this over a bell—" You whispered, you felt his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you close he whispered. "You will never believe me when I say, I have been waiting for you to give me that bell for so long, I thought, Maybe I should just give it up." He admitted. Making your heart clench, you hug him closer, his face buried at the crook of your neck.

"But now that I have it, I, I don't know what to say," You can feel his body tremble as he took a deep breath, "... Thank you, so much.." He thanked you for the nth time. You then heard another whisper that made your heart skipped a beat—

"I love you, please don't ever leave me."

"I won't, and will never be. I love you too, Lighter, My Champion."

©fakesimp . 2024 ; Do not copy/translate/use for ai

[boiling-potato]

".... although I wonder why your hatred is so strong as to be against every member, with trickster I understand but with the rest? My oh my I just don't understand you my friend" -viktor

....

Headcanon is Viktor can see through everyone's bullshit, including Casimir so he can't really hide any of his true feelings around Viktor,,, and it kinda annoys Cas a little of how smart his friend is lol

Also, side note but I just realized,, when I was making this it kinda dawned on me that Trickster,, is such a terrible friend/master here. Think about it, she does in fact replace every single one of them, she takes people who suffered and put them in a house full of murderers to be either; becomes a murderer themselves or become a victim. And once she puts them there, she kind of disappears for a couple of years not caring if the person survives or not. The reason why the original members become who they are now is she doesn't realize that what she's doing is wrong, she doesn't realize that what they're doing to her is also unhealthy. The reason why Trickster doesn't like being there is once she comes back, her family doesn't let her back out for a couple of years, wanting her to also stay with them forever, also killing her and tormenting her all over again but she thinks it's normal to have a family like this.. Yeah, I guess I just wanted to rant about it hahah

Anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY (and a late Christmas) TO MY DEAR FRIEND, LILAC!! (aka @dackychansworldofhoshino ) Buddy I know we haven't been friends that long but we're really glad to have you here, being part of the milkshake mansion and also being one my sweetest mootss~!!! Hope you enjoy your special day with the people you love and loves you back!! And again, happy birthday!! (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡🎄🎄🎁🎁❤️❤️💕💕‼️‼️✨✨

-----

Casimir, Trickster and the Milkshake Mansion belong to yours truly, me~!

Viktor (the guy with the braids) belong to our birthday boy, @dackychansworldofhoshino !!

Luck (the cute guy with wings) belongs to @lucytsukii !

And Felice (the curly haired cutie!) belongs to @chipi-chupi-chips !

[lovscb97]

— nerd!chan drabble #1

part 1 / part 2 / headcannons

synopsis: the aftermath of what happens between you and nerd!chan following the events that take place in part 2

tags: nerd!chan x cheerleader!fem!reader, established relationship, lots of fluff, lots of kissing, nerd!chan being a cutie, oral sex (f. recieving), unprotected sex (plz do not), basic lovemaking, aftercare, etc

wc: 1.70k

add. notes: idk why i wrote this n how tf it got so long. those pictures (i cannot upload them rn idfk why. if they r uploaded by the time u r reading this then good for us if not then i'll kms) seriously did a number on me i think tho bcs holy fucking shit man he looks so good. like i adore this man to death n beyond GRRR!!! anyways enjoy :3

. . .

saw chan's latest post and now i can't stop thinking about how the pictures are extremely nerd!chan universe's bangchan coded.. specifically, they're the type of photos chan would post the day you guys finally get together, on the first day he gets to call himself your boyfriend at last.

he's long dropped you off at home and is still reeling from the excitement of everything that's happened after the game, not to mention that he was so giddy to the point he ended up texting all his friends about everything that happened, making sure to repeat how he finally, finally!!! got the girl of his dreams at last. his joy is to the extent that when he gets home, he can't stop thinking about you, thinking about how you sounded and felt, thinking about the way you'd straddled his lap in his beat up car, thinking about how you'd kissed him breathless, just thinking about you.

when he's in the safety of his room behind locked doors, he positively melts against the wall, crumbling to his feet with a lovestruck grin on his face as he repeats everything that went down an hour prior and quite literally changed the trajectory of his entire life if he's being honest. when his phone pings with a message, he's immediately shooting to swipe for his texts, giggling at the sweet messages you've sent him to remind him once more that you love him and can't wait to see him tomorrow. he'd reply back with a goofy smile and kick his feet, of course, before impulsively making the executive decision to once again, stalk your instagram.

when he pulls up your account, his heart clenches against his chest, because there you are, plastered all over the feed with your beautiful features that he's fallen for over the last few months. the way your hair cascades over your shoulders, how your face is lit up and beaming in every post he looks through, your uniform or even casual clothes clinging to your body perfectly in specific uploads— everything about the way you are makes him feel dizzy in the head. he genuinely can't fathom the fact that you're all his starting today and onwards.

the next day when he sees you, he thinks he might ascend onto a different dimension. he's all dazed and in awe when he approaches you, softening at the way your eyes brighten after falling on his figure, watching with honey dripping as you parade up to and crash into him with your arms wrapping around his waist on instinct, no less in public. when he hugs you back, he can smell the familiar scent of your perfume and shampoo mixed together, burying his face in an effort to cling onto you like he's often dreamed of. though he's a bit pouty when you eventually pull away, he thinks you you make up for it by leaning up to press a gentle kiss to his cheek and grabbing his hand to drag him away for a late lunch date.

the hours pass with you and him spending as much time as you can together to make up for however much you'd lost avoiding each other and sneaking around in private previously. chan does his best to pay attention to what you're rambling on too, something about your professor marking you down for a test when you'd answered correctly, but he truly can't seem to focus with the way he's so down bad for you. everything you do, everything you say, everything you are in general makes him want to swoop in and kiss you silly.

so, he does.

it catches you off guard when he leans over the table you're both sat at and connects your lips together, but you're no stranger to his affection (okay, maybe you are a little), so of course, you kiss him back, giggling against his mouth with him. he thinks your laughter might be his favourite sound in the world.

as the sky turns to orange with the sun dipping down, chan allows you to tug him around campus, going with you to the library to pick up a book you needed for your class and accompanying you to the university cafe where he insists on paying for your drink. you both eventually end up back in your dorm, with you letting it slip mid-conversation that karina would be at her parent's house today. the seemingly little tidbit makes him freeze in his place, but he brushes off the lewd thoughts entering his mind in favour of continuing the impromptu and innocent study session you decide to hold in the middle of your side of the room. he tries, he really does, to concentrate on the material he should ideally be preparing for his next exam, but you look so cute focused on the text you're busy highlighting that he can't resist reaching over to graze his thumb over your palm softly. you look up at the sensation of his touch, cheeks tinting pink at the way your boyfriend is staring back at you.

and so, it doesn't take very long for the two of you to get back into locking lips once more, chan hovering over your sprawled out body as his mouth ghosts the skin of your jaw, neck, collarbone, shoulder, everywhere. you swear he's gotten more bold ever since you started dating, but one glance at the burning red of his ears is enough to make you chuckle. when he asks you what's so funny, you simply shake your head, wrapping your arms around his neck to yank him in for another kiss that leaves both of you practically levitating.

chan makes quick work to have you cumming on his face after that, languid swipes of his tongue flicking against your clit and swirling at your entrance as you let out the cutest whimpers he's possibly ever heard. when his wet muscles wraps around your sensitive nub and sucks, you see stars, clenching around nothing with your juices gushing down his chin as you spray everywhere. when your boyfriend rises to meet your gaze, glasses fogged up and stained with your release, looking like he'd descended from heaven itself, you can't stop the meek "need you inside, please" that leaves you from escaping. it makes his eyes widen, but he's stripping off his clothes in record time at your plea, causing you to laugh quietly in the darkness of the room, save for whatever light is streaming through the curtains.

when chan finally does enter you, despite having done so multiple times, you gasp. you still get butterflies from the feeling of his cock stretching you out, and he still can't shake off how his stomach swirls in delight at the way your warm walls basically suck him in. he moves slowly but surely, deep thrusts hitting every right spot that has you keening and shaking under his hold. his words are barely above whispers, filled with nothing but loving remarks and reminders of how much he adores you and can't believe you're his. he babbles about how lucky he is to be yours, and how he's never going to let you go, to which you breathlessly huff out something about how you'd never want to go anywhere anyways. that sentence coupled with the way your doe eyes blink up at him is enough to send him hurdling to his climax, triggering your own. you both lay there in the comfort of each other's arms for a while after that, snuggling into one another's skin and exchanging short kisses.

it's only after a few moments pass that chan gets up to clean you off, tugging his clothes back on along with the glasses he'd tossed on your bedside table before wiping you down with a wet cloth. the way you look at him as he tends to your needs makes him flush bright under your gaze, which only has you tittering and sitting up to kiss him once more.

by the time everything's done and he has to go home, chan lights up with an idea, lacing your fingers in his and rushing you outside the doors of the student accomodation. he flashes you a grin that makes you weak in the knees, ruffling his hair to slide his hat on before passing you his phone and posing for the camera. you're confused what this has to do with anything, but you click the pictures for him anyways, heart fluttering at the way he beams at the lens, or rather at the fact that you're the one behind it. when you're done, he thanks you with a smooch to your forehead, shrugging off his jacket to wrap it around your frame despite it being one too many sizes big for you. he buttons you up to the end, throwing his head back at the way you look so tiny compared to the clothing you've got on, which only makes you roll your eyes regardless of the smile that creeps up on your face at his joy.

it's only when you've said your goodbye's and shared a last few kisses of the day that you find yourself back in bed, wrapped up under chan's clothes and inhaling the scent of his cologne that brings back memories of today. when you open your phone, you're hit with his notification in an instant, eyebrows furrowing in confusion when you read him asking you to check his instagram but doing so anyways. you think your heart stops when you see what he's referring to.

chan had tagged you in the photos you'd taken a few minutes prior to seeing him off, but not just that, he'd captioned it too—

@.gnabnahc: thank you for being mine, pretty girl.

hot infatuation floods your system at the words he'd used, and for some reason, it dawns on you now of all times that chan is yours. he's yours. all yours. you can't stop the smile that graces your features at that realisation, replying back to him with something cheesy. safe to say, you drift to sleep that night with thoughts filled of your precious boyfriend.

in conclusion, chan may be smitten, but you're just as bad as him, it seems.

. . .

comments and reblogs are always appreciated! <3

[izzy-the-chaotic-gremlin]

I'm not gonna lie, being on the internet is lot less fulfilling than it used to be, like, talking with my IRL friends it's a lot more fulfilling and fun as I can actually see their reactions to my OCS and stories, and they also generally like my stories and I can truly tell that they like it I don't have to just hope that they're not lying to me like I do on the internet, hell I've even been thinking about completely restarting my pizza tower blog and replacing it with an original blog with original characters, same timelines, same, personality just different names and designs, plus the story that I have planned for it is so original and on its own that I don't want to have it depend on an ask blog or role-playing or have it being AU of a game, I wanted to be on its own and honestly, I love chatting with y'all and it's the highlight of my day at times, and I love ranting on here it's just, it's not nearly as fulfilling as I needed to be, I'm sorry, just know I will continue ranting on here posting Oc stuff and other stuff I just probably will be a lot less active with a lot of it.

I love y'all. I'm sorry if I disappointed you all with this info, I don't mean to hurt any of you, I'm simply just stating the truth, just know that I will always be thinking about you guys and be talking to you guys as much as I can as I truly do care about yall💕

⬆️ this is me right now

@random-obsseser @mrfellsans @chaotichyperfixations @cutechan555 @luigigirl12

[guardian-angle22]

This or That: Tarlos Edition -> Season 1 sexy times or Season 2 sexy times

[stromuprisahat]

metvmorqhoses:

Let’s not forget that this grand declaration of love, the “I see you now” (which would have already been top cringe in normal circumstances) is only coming right after the entire country has started to see the said “old friend” as a national treasure and a literal saint lol could it be that the idiot only started to “see her now” because literally everyone else suddenly started to see Alina as special? Worth seeing now? One has to wonder lmao

all of Ravka:

Malyen: I see you now...

sad-outsider:

I think this is from R&R, but I could be wrong🤔

albediz:

Well, I'm not sure either, but I think they're referring to a chapter of ruin and rising. Ruin and Rising Chapter 16 - "I looked down, brushing petals off of the desk. “Did you ever notice me at Keramzin?” He was silent for a long moment, and when I glanced at him, he was looking up at the glass ceiling. He’d gone red as a beet. “Mal?” He cleared his throat, crossed his arms. “As a matter of fact, I did. I had some very… distracting thoughts about you.” “You did?” I sputtered. “And I felt guilty for every one of them. You were supposed to be my best friend, not…” He shrugged and turned even redder. “Idiot.” I think that would be it, but Mal said she feels "guilt" not "shame". Unfortunately, I have this chapter recorded in my memory since it is where Mal and Alina have sex and it is quite depressing.

Thanks. I'm glad I didn't get to it yet.

You can tell he's supposed to be cute by how red he gets. I suspect he might be holding his breath to fool Alina, because it's funnier explanation than "LB's trying to make it heartwarming and adorable by suddenly presenting Malyen as awkward and shy, when some of us remember how he treated Alina previous two books".

But hey- he didn't mean it. He just couldn't bring himself to ask out the only girl he truly wanted. 😉

Thinking about it- this shows the seeds of two cases of terrible gaps between writing and expected perception- Wesper and Zoya.

To keep it short (I wrote about both elsewhere.)- Wesper is presented as a cute relationship, yet when you look, they're a variation on "If he bullies you, he likes you.". Zoya gets traumatic past and a garden for dead people she previously didn't care about to make her vulnerable and tender on the inside. Deep, deep down. Please ignore her mean, cruel behaviour.

Besides, if a guy acted the way Malyen does in a situation like this, I wouldn't interpret it as a shared vision of married future, I'd suspect him he was jerking off above my sleeping form (since there wasn't that many to pick from, and Alina likely believes she's never supposed to touch her nether parts, so she won't even think about that option).

The fact that Malyen felt ashamed of the feelings he had for Alina already tells us a lot about these supposed feelings.

In reality, who would want to fall in love and date a stick...

Hey nonny, next time add a quote or at least a chapter please, because I'm not sure which of his star moments you're refering to. I don't think he ever speaks about shame- that's Alina's domain.

What I DO remember is his surprise he misses his "oldest friend", which like... okay, who wouldn't be shocked to care about losing something they took for granted?

Forgive the sarcasm, but I'll never cease to be baffled this is supposed to be peak romance. I miss my own bed, when away from home. You're telling me he didn't thought he might feel the same about a PERSON he spend most of his life with? One he ALLEGEDLY ~cares~ about?!

That whole scene leading to his great declaration lies somewhere between laughable, pathetic and repugnant. I've already done its analysis, but let's try again:

“Did you miss me, Alina? Did you miss me when you were gone?” “Every day,” I said honestly. “I missed you every hour. And you know what the worst part was? It caught me completely by surprise. I’d catch myself walking around to find you, not for any reason, just out of habit, because I’d seen something that I wanted to tell you about or because I wanted to hear your voice. And then I’d realize that you weren’t there anymore, and every time, every single time, it was like having the wind knocked out of me. I’ve risked my life for you. I’ve walked half the length of Ravka for you, and I’d do it again and again and again just to be with you, just to starve with you and freeze with you and hear you complain about hard cheese every day. So don’t tell me we don’t belong together,” he said fiercely. He was very close now, and my heart was suddenly hammering in my chest. “I’m sorry it took me so long to see you, Alina. But I see you now.”

Shadow and Bone- Chapter 19

“Did you miss me, Alina? Did you miss me when you were gone?” Looking for assurance Alina DID miss him. Which could be innocent, except his next sentence makes it sound as if she chose to leave of her own free will. To abandon HIM.

“Every day,” I said honestly. “I missed you every hour. Trying to outdo Alina in how much. It's pretty childish- Malyen is no poet going for hyperbole, even unintentional, it's as if Alina's feelings weren't enough. HE's the one giving more (and deserving greater appreciation).

And you know what the worst part was? It caught me completely by surprise. Yup! Here's the one on how much did he value her company before she became important to others...

I’d catch myself walking around to find you, not for any reason, just out of habit, because I’d seen something that I wanted to tell you about or because I wanted to hear your voice. Again, another half-innocent sentence, that grows much more negative in context of his previous and following (S&S!!!) behaviour towards Alina. He doesn't seek her out because he enjoys her company, but because he's used to her unwavering presence. It's about what she can do for him.

And then I’d realize that you weren’t there anymore, and every time, every single time, it was like having the wind knocked out of me. Yes, that happens, when you lose a constant in your life, but that doesn't mean you love or care about it. It might be about a comfort of rutine.

I’ve risked my life for you. I’ve walked half the length of Ravka for you ... now he's listing what she should be grateful for as if she asked for any of it. Knowing Alina at this point, steady glance in her direction would be enough, but that's no grand gesture, is it?! This makes me think how often Alina has to listen to the list of what he gave up for her post-R&R. How often he seeks loud appreciation of his "sacrifices". Happy home indeed.

... I’d do it again and again and again just to be with you, just to starve with you and freeze with you and hear you complain about hard cheese every day. So don’t tell me we don’t belong together, Again, this one started nice... for Malyen to fuck it up with the last sentence. That one isn't reassurance. That's an order. What if Alina only wanted to be friends? The excerpt above follows Malyen's anger over Alina's performance at Winter Fete: That night at the palace when I saw you on that stage with him, you looked so happy. Like you belonged with him. I can’t get that picture out of my head. What if Alina realized Baghra was lying and wanted to regain Aleksander's trust? What if she found someone else? What if she decided she has plenty on her plate as it stands, so she won't start a romantic relationship with anyone? The next book will show us neither of those options are an option, when Malyen's concerned. He'll guilt-trip her into being with him want it or not.

And here comes the cherry on the top- I’m sorry it took me so long to see you, Alina. But I see you now. I don't need to be mean to say too little- too late. Hell, Alina could (should) have! This sounds like he's expecting a pat on his head and a badge of honour for his accomplishments. Admitting he wronged her in the past shouldn't earn him a clean slate, he should first change his ways. Not to mention he'll soon prove "see" and "accept" are a whole different beasts.

Geez, it gets worse with every re-read!

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

My hot take is that marcanne has as much potential for toxic yuri as any other calamity trio ship and it's not nearly as soft and fluffy as one may think

[finncakes]

:/

[starflungwaddledee]

it's awfully refreshing to see a rise in malevolent galas again, and i'm preeet-ty sure your popularity's playing into it. grrrrrrr yes! let that boy kill! let him scheme and conspire! let him wreak havoc like the true planet-destroying fiend he is!

waaahaaa i'm so delighted to hear it! i will be completely honest, i was extremely nervous to post that very first comic with him in (where he was undeniably malicious) because almost every other headcanon i'd seen of him at that point is that he is Just Misunderstood and Actually A Good Guy or, at the very least, perhaps currently acting out but still Redeemable With A Heart Of Gold

and those are amazing too! not a single piece of shade on those characterisations; they are genuinely cathartic tropes and i love to see them- for him or anyone else. but it made me quite scared to have to just be like... 'anyway he is extraordinarily and wilfully cruel in my headcanons and stories!!'

so it really means a lot to me that you enjoy this characterisation!! and that you think possibly it's having an impact on other folks' characterisations in a positive or refreshing way! that's such an honour! i was scared people would loathe my storytelling or characterisation of their favourite blorbo (i still fear it, ngl) or even think that i like... don't like him. but the thing is that i love him. i love him to bits and pieces and because of how much i love him i've done him the ultimate honour of assigning him Irredeemable All-powerful Villain and allowed him free reign to bite and kill

[astarlightmonbebe]

slightly hot take (?) but personally i felt the reactions in ep 17 were all in-character and justified... don't have the time to get into it, but it boils down to the fact that knowing something logically =/= knowing it emotionally

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

i would like to stop experiencing the full spectrum of human emotions every day please. putting this out into the universe

[icewindandboringhorror]

Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol

[keeps-ache]

good morning and merry christmas !! aesthetic photo of my cookies be upon ye

[koka-mi]

vent under the cut you don't need to read if you don't want to!!!!!!!

I honestly hateee opening up or oversharing with ppl. it's kind of like eating for me where it feels okay in the moment but then afterwards I just feel awful. it feels like I'm attention seeking or saying someone else's experience isn't valid for some reason and it sucks. I don't do it at all with ppl I just met but with friends I tend to get carried away with it sometimes,,,

It hurts even more because I've been distancing myself from ppl bcz I'm scared of this exact thing happening. People have messaged me before, saying I seem cool and they want to be friends. And I get happy in the moment, but then I get really anxious about accidentally getting too comfortable and blurting out personal things, because then their opinion of me will wane and they'll think I'm annoying or ungrateful. So I subconsciously begin to distance myself and take a while when responding to messages, because I'm scared of getting too comfortable with them. But now I'm anxious that they think I'm cold or distant and that I secretly don't like them. It's just a lose lose situation mannn </3

I have so many DMs I've put off responding to, and I've stopped talking in servers as much bcz I'm scared of getting close with ppl in them. I really feel bad for it, though. I've drifted from friends bcz of that and it sucks because I genuinely love them a lot. I love everyone I talk to a lot and they always make my day better--I just wish I could be the same for them. I feel like it's a chore to talk to me. I honestly don't know what to do. It's even worse when I get close to someone bcz they like what I make/post because again, now that they've seen how I really am and I've opened up, they more than likely see me as annoying or a bad person. Like it hurts enough whenever we become friends naturally talking, but if it's with someone who's seen me at my "best" and has seen things I work on or stories I've created, they ofc associate me with those things, and their expectations of me are through the roof. So when I disappoint them it hurts a lot more. I hate getting attached to people it hurts so much

[pagesofkenna]

Just said "sheesh, Kenna, you're the smartest person I know" out loud while reading your tags on the FMA Truth and Ed's atheism post. Then I realized that Indiana probably doesn't care as much for this information as you might lolol

honestly i'd originally written a really annoying ramble about gods in fiction under that post and now i'm so glad i deleted it to write that much more succinct breakdown of my thoughts on the matter