#you breed with the mouth of a goat

[shallowseeker]

Are we yay or nay on Cas getting the pop culture download from Metatron?

Chaotic neutral on two conditions: (1) Cas hilariously misrepresents or misinterprets key details from said download of information.

(2) He knows something Dean doesn't, and it drives Dean insane.

[howldean]

highly unpopular opinion we need to stop making everything about physical appearance and dick size in insults it’s pointless

[norrisainz33]

Private || CS55

☆ summary: the internet is buzzing when carlos is caught with a mystery girl during summer break

☆ pairing: carlos sainz x female!private!reader

☆ fc: none, pics from pinterest

☆ warnings: ever so slightly suggestive, you are responsible for the content you consume

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F1Gossip has made a post

liked by user12, yourbff, user1 and 77,829 others

F1Gossip: BREAKING Carlos Sainz has been caught leaving restaurant in Madrid with mystery girl. Sources from the restaurant have said they do not recognize her.

view all 3,456 comments

user1: alright internet do your thing

user2: when will it be my turn

user3: maybe she doesn’t want to be recognized!!

user4: this!!! lets respect everyone’s privacy

user5: you know that isn’t gonna happen f1twt is a different breed

user6: alright walk with me here. remember the girl who was at the spanish grand prix that was photographed having a conversation with carlos and he looked all giggly and happy and hugged her in a way that felt very not casual but we all just collectively assumed she was an influencer and to ignore her? this girl kinda looks like her

user7: now you might be on to something here

user16: seems like a stretch

user8: quick someone search the photo and see if she is an influencer

user9: from all i can find she’s not. i think i found her insta it’s ynuser and it looks like carlos, charles, some other wags and lando all follow it but she only has like 300 followers.

user10: oh that has to be her! the girl in the profile pic looks just like this girl and everyone follows her so it has to be

user11: i can’t find any other information on her other than the insta profile

Your messages

ynuser made a post

liked by carlossainz55, alexandrasaintmleux, yourbff, landonorris, and 101 others

ynuser: calm before the storm (storm of fans who found me in under 2 hours and are flooding my follow requests)

view all 26 comments

yourbff: you think you just fell out of a coconut tree??

ynuser: 🥥🌴

carmenmundt: welcome to the club gorgeous 🤍 you’ll get used to it (eventually.. maybe…. not really)

ynuser: at least i have you ❤️

carlossainz55: my beautiful princesa 🥰

ynuser: my 55 😍

landonorris: they found you quicker than i did and i had a head start

ynuser: you eventually got here mate

scuderiaferrari: does this mean you’ll join us in the paddock next weekend then?

charlesleclerc: leo wants you to meet you y/n

ynuser: i guess if leo and admin want me there i can be brave

carlossainz55 made a post

liked by charlesleclerc, scuderiaferrari, ynuser, landonorris and 976,432 others

carlossainz55: summer break you were so good to me. now let’s win some races!

Vacaciones de verano, fuiste muy bueno conmigo. Ahora vamos a ganar algunas carreras.

view all 801 comments

user11: i’m foaming at the mouth

user13: vacation carlos hits different

user22: that old money charm 😫😮‍💨

user14: 3RD PIC 3RD PIC 3RD PIC

user16: OMG IS THAT Y/N

user17: looks like it 😭

scuderiaferrari: can’t wait to have you back on track 💪🏻

landonorris: smooth carlos, real smooth

carlossainz55: they don’t call me smooth operator for nothing!

user15: lando please share with the class

user17: my goat

Carlos Sainz and rumored new girlfriend, Y/N - everything you need to know

By F1Gossip Contributor

Rumors have been swirling around the paddock this week as summer break comes to a close and the drivers are set to make their return this weekend. Ferrari driver, Carlos Sainz, was caught at the beginning of the break leaving a posh dinner with a mystery girl. Since then the pair have been spotted out at dinner again, in a coffee shop and even driving around in Monaco.

Fans have been speculating that the mystery girl is, Y/N Y/L/N and the most recent sightings of the two in Monaco all but confirms this.

Now you may be wondering - who is Y/N? Y/N is your normal corporate girly by all accounts. Our sources have shared that Y/N met Carlos by chance one night in Australia while she was on vacation and he was out celebrating with some drivers. Not much is known about her - she’s from [home country], works as a [insert job] and has been with Carlos for at least a few months now. Currently all of her socials are private.

Carlos soft launched their relationship via instagram just a few days ago. We have to wonder - will we see Y/N in the paddock this weekend?

ynuser posted a story

view story replies

lilymhe: YAYA please come to williams asap

ynuser: on my way 🏃🏻‍♀️

carlossainz55: race days look good on you mi amor

ynuser: 🥹 thank you carlito. i think i like this whole race weekend thing

carlossainz55: good because you’ve got passes for the rest of the races this season and every season after that 😉

scuderiaferrari: bellisima

yourbff: please remember me when you’re a niche micro internet celebrity ❤️

ynuser: ill never forget you

F1Gossip has made a post

liked by user11, ynuser, user14, yourbff, and 23,456 others

F1Gossip: BREAKING Y/N Y/L/N has made her instagram public! Looks like she is joining Ferrari this weekend to cheer on Carlos.

view all 438 comments

user17: beautiful aesthetic queen omg

user18: no bc she’s goals

user19: you don’t understand shes perfect 😭

user20: clout chaser

user21: right? she’s gotta be after the money

user23: she has a literal university degree and a full time job. i think she’s doing just fine without him

user12: screaming crying throwing up

user13: brb taking notes from Y/N

ynuser made a post

liked by carlossainz55, scuderiaferrari, yourbff, landonorris and 103,556 others

ynuser: hes so pretty when he goes down on me 🎶

view all 673 comments

user12: the absolute power move that is that caption

user13: this being her first public post is iconic

carlossainz55: making quite an entrance now aren’t you 😂

ynuser: what can i say 🤷🏻‍♀️

scuderiaferrari: guess it’s time for media training!

user19: noooo don’t train the spice out of her 😭

landonorris: thanks for the visual mate

user14: LANDOSNDK

ynuser: 🤭

alexandrasaintmleux: great song choice 🤭

ynuser: thanks for the inspo 😉

user10: god i’ve seen what you have done for others

୨୧┈୨୧

☆ a/n: thanks for reading! likes and reblogs are appreciated

୨୧┈୨୧

© norrisainz33: please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform

[funniestpersonalivefr]

masterlist

general headcanons

resident evil music headcanons

tits, ass, or thighs (resident evil men)

tits, ass, or thighs (resident evil women)

first kiss (resident evil men)

first kiss (resident evil women)

aftercare (resident evil men)

aftercare (resident evil women)

plus sized fem reader (leon, ada, claire)

girlfriend who's never had an orgasm (leon, chris, and carlos)

singing headcanons

albert wesker

relationship headcanons

only you (smut)

hold me closer dear

it couldn't hurt

by your side

the cold can't help but melt away

don't wanna let anything go to waste (smut)

snuggling headcanons

all that attitude (smut)

opposites attract

couldn't leave you

leon kennedy

missing you (smut)

i just wanna be yours

baby you're the baddest (smut)

flame that never dies (smut)

throat goat leon (smut)

sweetheart (smut)

chris redfield

some face sitting with chris redfield (smut)

god, you're divine

smoke break (smut)

don't they know it's the end of the world

and i could taste it on her lips when we kissed (smut)

tear you apart (smut)

a sight to see (smut)

best way to start your day

i will never leave you

ready for him (smut)

snoozing

don't wanna stop (smut)

a slip up (smut)

some spanking with chris (smut)

how lucky (smut)

thigh riding with chris (smut)

how do you do this?

it's not your fault

carlos oliveira

a morning after with carlos

some breeding with carlos (smut)

ethan winters

coming soon

jill valentine

relationship headcanons (nsfw included)

i watched you change

such a brat (smut)

you look pretty when you're desperate (smut)

claire redfield

relationship headcanons (nsfw included)

with you

honey (smut)

wearing nothing but glitter and lashes (smut)

pretty girls

heartbeat, my heartbeat (smut)

dirty little secret (smut)

missing the sound of your voice (smut)

such a pretty mouth (smut)

rebecca chambers

relationship headcanons

princess

ada wong

what are you in for (smut)

sheva alomar

• coming soon

jill x claire

thinking of you (smut)

aren't you so pretty (smut)

[constantly0lost]

Okay I haven't written in literal months, but i was inspired by the little blurb about otter harvey at the bottom of @sashiavi 's goat Harvey post, so enjoy a ramble. Alot of my sleep tired brain escaped into this, sorry for how sloppy this is, i just wanted to vocalize my thoughts or my head would have exploded. I would carry 19 of Harvey's children if asked, peace.

CW: bit of a breeding kink, i reimagined/softened the mannerisms of otters during sex cause MAN, male otters SUCK, other otter things (harveys hydrophobic hair), lactation kink, me being a simp for this man, UHHh, shitty writing :)

Otter Harvey who gives you special things that made him think of you. From rocks to acorns to mushrooms to flowers to leave and so on, and being so blushy when he gives them to you, because its just acorns but it means so much to him. And he swoons when he finds out you kept them all.

Otter Harvey who holds your hand while y'all sleep, even though you're as close as two people can physically be without fusing together. He knows logically that you can't go anywhere, and even if you did, you'd be right back in his arms, but it feels so nice to have his hand on yours.

Otter harvey who eats sea urchins in secret, not because of someone finding out he eats them, but because he has to yank one out of Vincents mouth after he saw Harvey eating them, and he didn't want to cause anyone any extra undue stress.

Otter Harvey who has to take showers with slightly more intense temperatures so that he can actually wash his hair, otherwise it rolls right off of his hair. The only time he won't is when you take a shower with him, because he doesn't want you to be uncomfortable because of him, and even then, after you get out he'll change the temperature so he can actually get clean.

Otter Harvey who, if you end up having kids, is the best fucking dad. He teaches them literally anything and everything, and sits at the table responding to their toddler gibberish with full blown sentences. He takes them to school, plays anything they want, and is a total pushover sap for them, no matter what happens. (He is also 110% a girl dad)

Otter Harvey who bites higher up on you than he probably should, but he can't help it when you make him feel such mind numbing pleasure. So now you have hickeys on your cheeks, lovebites around your nose and mouth, along with all the marks he leaves along your body.

Otter Harvey who has such a rampant breeding kink that on "bad" days, he'd fuck you over and over until he's so drained he's lightheaded and overwhelmed, and he feels guilty for fucking you like that, even though he's still inside of your puffy cunt.

Otter Harvey who can't help but moan and whimper as he fucks into you, digging his nails into your hips as your pussy seems to suck him deeper, your walls clenching around him in a downright mean way as he bites and sucks anywhere he can get his mouth to.

Otter Harvey who often and loudly verbalizes how he wants to stuff you full right as he's about to cum, drilling the head of his cock harder into your spongy walls.

Otter Harvey who, when he gets jealous, will hold you down by your neck, or might even just hold you down by your hair, as he drills into you, harder than he normally would dare. His mouth turns downright filthy, spewing the nastiest words you'll ever hear in your life, as he hefts your leg over his shoulder.

Otter Harvey who can, will, and has spent hours buried with his face between your legs, looking up at you with those pretty eyes in search of your approval. He wants you to pull on his hair to guide him, wants you to pull until his scalp burns.

Otter Harvey who whines so damn pretty when you ride him, his cock kicking on your hand as he eyes roll back, his nails digging into your thighs. He mumbles whispered gibberish, which could almost be pleas, but are too garbled to fully make out.

Otter Harvey who will suck on your tits until you produce a few beads of milk, which he gratefully laps up and swallows like it's heaven on earth. Of course afterwards he gets anxious, wanting to make sure it's not galactorrhea, and wanting to make sure you're healthy.

Otter Harvey who would bend over backwards to make sure your happy, who would wait on your hand and foot so that you feel properly appreciated. He loves you, and knowing you love him back is all he needs.

FUCKING OTTER HARVEY IM GONNA RIDE HIM IN MY DREAMS TONIGHT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

[ananke-xiii]

"It's funnier in Enochian!"

One thing I wish the writers continued on SPN is the "Enochian jokes".

I mean, one of my headcanons (well, not so much of a hc but we don't see it in later seasons) is that Cas keeps trying to be funny translating jokes from Enochian to English (just like the famous "You breed with the mouth of a goat") and people generally be like "WTF???" but then one day Sam actually gets one of those damn jokes (after so many years something just clicks) and the whole bunker is like "OMG this really really happened", like that would be THE signal that Cas is officially part of the family lol

I dunno, I find that laughter brings people together like nothing else can and I also understand the struggle of trying to be funny in another language (like, some stuff is just funnier in my native tongue and it's frustrating that it doesn't translate, you know?).

Anyway, I find it silly and cute and I wish we had more of these silly little moments <3

[al6nst]

Hibiki Wataru Breeding and Bondage kink send tweet

goated send tweet

dont threaten me with a good time, nsfw‐streamer hibiki wataru .

mdni, 18+, nsfw content under read more

synopsis : your boyfriend, a famous porn streamer hibiki wataru, has invited you to his first anniversary stream, As his manager, you had no choice but to agree, but you didnt know you were agreeing to this.

sketch info : smut, cursing, bondage, breeding, gn reader, praise, kissing, overstimulation ( undescribed previous rounds ), you call hibiki hii to yk, save face. more creampies than imaginable, size kink

"'Who's the special guest'— " wataru repeats, "well, mm.. would you like to see them?"

the smell of sex was pungent and oddly sweet— the sounds of your breathy moaning and satisfying noise of coins being sent as WATARU held your masked face to the camera. You bite his thumb as it enters your mouth, staring into the lens, "hngh.. hii~ eek, hello, im.. fuck.. hii's manager." Your arms are secured to your collar. Your legs are wrapped around his waist, loose rope red hung loosely on your thighs and knees as his hips stutter. "so good."

He adorns a sly smirk on his sweat covered face. "You feel it all, dont you? fufu.." And he's right. Your eyes are rolling into the back of your skull as his cock slides in and out of your hole. his other hand is on your left thigh, drawing patterns on the soft, plush skin. "nh, should i snap a few photos, hm, hm~?" he teases, pinching your cheek. Wataru postions the camera to your entrance, it focuses on your swollen entrance and how it wrapped around and tightened on watarus flushed cock— his base is covered in a mix of his cum and lube, his length has a sheet of your shared juices staining the flesh every time he pulls out. you moan, shaking your head rapidly, "ugh, wait. hii, a second, please!" Your back and legs aches as he folds your legs over your shoulders, stretching your body in unimaginable ways.

— your hooded yet so round eyes, and still so soft as you look up at him, eyelashes fluttering, blinking away tears that blinded you so nicely. "so good f'me, hehe.. you like taking my cock, dont you?" he grins, moving his hands down only to have them graze angsinst your most sensitive parts "please— come on, more." You shakily beg your voice nothing but a whisper under the resounding squelch of your messy cum filled hole. wataru smiles softly, his hands are steady and quick, skilled enough to make the rope in your tummy snap. your toes curl as cum around him hard, mewling a thank you as you choke out a sob— hes really big, filling you up to the brim. his cock is kissing your g-spot with every thrust, wataru holds your hand as he shoots ropes of his cum in you with soft moans of your name.

his balls slap against the curve of your ass as more of his cum drips out as he pulls out again, your thighs quiver, and youre left unable to think. "One more round, what does everyone think?" he squints at you, waiting for you to nod. "And of course, let's ask my beautiful, pliant manager." Before he pushes himself back into you, he works dutifully on tying your legs together, securing your arms to your sides and right above your stomach. a bow knot is tied in the middle of your chest once he finishes. he rubs his tip on your slick hole, pushing his member into you with ease, his cum making it easier. you hiccup pathetically, gritting your teeth as drool spills from the side of your mouth. "Shit.. ah, hngh.. 'taru, please," begging for something, anything— you throw your head back, grinding into his onslaught of steady yet impatient thrusts. everything felt so much more real, you cant help but squirm and you feel something stronger in your stomach. "mm, last one, you're doing so good, stay still." his voice is soothing in your ears as he kisses its shell, with almost quivering hands, he pushes against the bulge in your tummy, you squeal, "no, no! dont press it.." your shaky moans drowned out by the obsene, wet squelch of your hole as you came around him again, your cum spraying out of your hole as you squirt again. " what a mess youve made of yourself, dear " wataru snickered.

his pelvis smacks into your butt and he holds your head up. kissing you "youre doing so good, so good!" with every word has a thrust to go along with it. the more you squirt, the messier your torsos and the camera get. "hic, dont move! hii, please, noo!" he smiles crazily at your messy state and pulls out, stroking his cock desperatly as he cums on your thighs and stomach, painting your skin white with glee. "Ah.. msnager, so good.. thank you, everyone, signing off for tonight." he mumbles into his mic, turning off the camera and shutting down stream before he lays next to your exausted body.

uh teah yjisnone ss hkrjble. i had so many fyas go perfect thsi but i didnt lol ill remake ti soon im sorry anon you gotta read this mediocre writingb im gonna eat myself alive

[bigfan-fanfic]

Quiet on the Path (Male!Witcher x Jaskier)

Hello! can i request a jaskier x witcher male reader?

tw injury mention

"Is he... going to keep following us?"

The bard had dared to hope that Geralt was an outlier when it came to general chattiness among witchers, but apparently he was among the more talky of the breed.

Being nearly speared through the gut by the branches of a leshen had not improved Geralt's dour demeanor. Luckily Geralt was aware they were skirting the general territory of another witcher.

He had not spoken a single word, this other witcher. At first Jaskier assumed they spoke in magic ways, but soon realized the signs they used were not the typical Witcher signs.

Jaskier had found himself thrown bodily from the little cabin this witcher had resided in while he healed Geralt with concoctions and herbal remedies.

Jaskier never thought he'd miss Geralt's gruff and blunt stoicism, but it was better than completely being stonewalled.

In any case, they had left when Geralt was well enough to travel, although he had spotted the silent witcher following them.

"He's an old nanny goat, worse than Vesemir." Geralt rolled his eyes. "He didn't think I was better enough to ride yet. He'll follow us for another fortnight, at least."

"First off, only you could try and make such a giant of a man seem less intimidating by calling him a nanny goat. Second, how in the living hell did you get all that? He hasn't said a word since we arrived!"

Geralt's face bordered on disappointment, and Jaskier felt an unfamiliar twinge of shame. "I thought a bard would be the first to know that words are only one way to communicate ideas."

That week is the most frustrating of Jaskier's life. There are no words spoken, but the conversation, for once, is one that the bard cannot follow. Geralt and his silent companion move their hands almost too quickly to be seen, clearly using a language of signs that Jaskier cannot hope to decipher.

Geralt is more animated than ever, laughing his deep raspy laugh and leaning back in contentment, and Jaskier practically growls at not having the secret of how to get Geralt in this mood revealed to him.

He keeps attempting to catch the silent witcher off guard, to trick him into speaking. He knows he's not deaf, because there was a smirk when he asked a whispered question to Geralt, asking if this witcher was one of his brothers.

But nothing happens, not until Geralt has gone off hunting, and the silent one is left alone with Jaskier as they make camp.

Jaskier can barely abide silence, so he talks as much as he can. He asks questions but doesn't even leave space for answers.

To be honest, it sounds almost as if he's on the verge of a panic attack by the time the witcher's massive hand clamps over his mouth, stifling the flow of words.

"Are you done?" the witcher smirks, and Jaskier shudders at the sound of the voice.

He nods, unable to get any words out.

"I tend not to speak. I use my hands instead. But your... interest. It is... intriguing."

When Geralt returns to camp after the hunt, he's not entirely surprised to find Jaskier pinned down flat as the witcher kisses him.

"Well, that's one way to shut him up." Geralt laughs. The witcher sits up, still straddling Jaskier, placing a hand back over the bard's mouth despite a protest.

I like him. I'm keeping him. he signed.

Geralt only chuckled.

[fantasy-anatomy-analyst]

heyo! i was wondering, do you have any general guidelines or tips on how to make goatfolk/goat-like humanoids? like, things that based on your judgement should be essential to their physiology and/or society. your opinion is highly appreciated and valued! ^^

sure! I'm going with a really standard domestic goat as reference here, but there are many breeds of goat with their own distinct features, so don't take this as the only way to design goat people. some goat breeds don't really have horns or the little beard, or they have floppy ears instead of tall ones, etc. sheep and goats are also very closely related and have a lot of features in common! sometimes what you think is a photo of a goat is actually a breed of sheep! So you kind of have to decide which specific goats you want to use as a reference point.

image description: faded photos of a goat and some close ups on a goat's face and hoof, all outlined in red. notes on the photos point out specific features. horns, short body, horizontal pupils, cleft lip, and even toed hooves. end description.)

I think the facial features here are probably the most important to keep in mind, as they'll be the same for any goat breed. they all have eyes with horizontal pupils and they all have that upper lip with the cleft. I tried to look up another word for that, because cleft lip also refers to a congenital condition in humans and animals where there's a split in the upper lip and possible the palate of the mouth. a lot of animals like goats and rabbits and cats have this sort of line dividing their upper lip into two parts. it's also called a philitrum, but we use that word for the dip between a human lip and nose as well. unfortunately an internet search for "what do you call it when animals have that separated lip thing going on" mostly turned up information on the congenital condition and how to treat it in livestock and pets. so i don't know if there's a better term for it other than a cleft lip. either way, it is a very recognizable feature on goats and I think it helps make a goat humanoid look more goat-like.

(image description: sketches of an anthropomorphic goat, with a close up on their face. They are short and chubby. end description.)

This is a design that leans heavier on the goat features, but you can go for something more humanoid, like a satyr. depends on what your end goal is for the design!

as for their social and cultural aspects, here's a couple of articles on goat behaviors:

article 1

article 2

important details to keep in mind:

goats are foragers, they wander around to find food and they're well known to have very broad diets, including the ability to eat some things other animals avoid, like tough thorny vines.

goats tend to have a lead female, also known as a doe, guiding the herd. a lead male, known as a buck, will usually bring up the rear. the lead female makes decisions about where the herd will go, the lead male guards the back and is very defensive.

a herd of goats usually has a hierarchy going on and they will defend their own places in that hierarchy. age, sex, and horn size are common determining factors.

goats are climbers, and they'll climb anything including each other. baby goats are especially active about this.

goats headbutt each other for various reasons. this includes establishment of hierarchy, defense, and play.

so goat people might have a matriarchal system, with males as guards while females are guides. they may have a culture centered on fighting as a form of social communication and entertainment. they could be nomadic as well. their dance style is probably very acrobatic, jumpy, and reflective of their fighting style.

those are just a handful of ideas off the top of my head! i hope it's helpful and i wish you luck and fun as you design your goat folk!

[leupagus]

Team Stark, Team Targaryen, Team Black, Team Green, whatever. I'm on Team Let Shireen Have Nice things

x

Sansa's horse's name was Ninny; he had one blue eye and one brown, which Northerners thought was lucky.

"More likely means he's deaf in one ear," Father remarked. Ninny's ears, which seemed to hear well enough, flattened and he nipped at Father's horse. (If it had a name, Father either hadn't asked or didn't want to tell her, since he'd ignored her question when they'd first mounted.)

"I think he feels insulted, Your Grace," Sansa remarked, pulling Ninny's head back around and settling her arms more comfortably around Shireen's waist. She'd been kind to let Shireen ride with her, since most of the Northern horses were needed to carry two or even three soldiers apiece, along with whatever equipment they could drag out of the snows. Mother and Lady Melisandre had chosen to ride two of the surviving Southern horses, but Mother had said there wasn't room on hers for both of them.

So instead of riding in the back of the train, Shireen was next to Father near the front, just behind the beautiful banners that snapped and curled in the breeze. It was still bitterly cold, but Sansa's cloak was warm wrapped round them both and she had even brought a pair of Northern boots for Shireen, with the fur thickly lined on the inside. Only the right side of her face was chilled, tears pricking at her eye. Sansa said they would make camp late tomorrow at this pace; her stormseer had promised them blue skies and clear nights. Shireen had hoped this would make Father — not happy, since she had only rarely seen him so, and never since Uncle Robert had died — but less unhappy.

Instead, it had turned him surly, the sort he only got when he had been frightened about something. He had been like this once when she had gone sailing with Devan in his little skiff and it had capsized, sending them laughing into the calm waters of the western bay. They had managed to swim toward land, pushing the hull of the boat before them, and had found Father and Ser Davos wading out to retrieve them. Davos helped Devan drag the boat in, laughing all the while, but Father had picked her up and carried her to shore, holding her so tightly she could feel her bones creak. "Get to your rooms and change," he'd ordered, all but dropping her to the stony beach, and for the rest of the day had scowled and muttered whenever she'd spoken.

She could not think why he was acting this way now, but she had long since given up trying to coax him out of his sulks the way she could Ser Davos. Instead she asked Sansa more questions — about the Wolfswood, where she and her army had hidden themselves, and about the Goldgrass Coldblood horses that Northerners rode.

"Not just Goldgrasses," said Sansa. "The mountain clans breed and ride their Breakstone Garrons, which are even better than the Coldbloods when it comes to surviving the winters. They're more like goats than horses — they eat like goats, too," she added with a wrinkle to her nose. "The other day, a Garron managed to open Lord Flint's saddlebags and ate his linen smallclothes."

Shireen covered her mouth to hold in her giggle, but Father had dropped behind them to speak with Davos a few lengths behind. "Was Lord Flint very cross?"

"Oh, yes, but you can't throw a horse into the stocks, even if he does eat your underthings."

[violetpurpleviolet]

Supernatural , Season 5 , Episode 17

99 Problems

It’s nice to see someone else have to tell Sam and Dean about the apocalypse

and Sam and Dean are like “You’re telling us?”

Ahaha Cas’s voice mail “I don’t understand , Why should I say my name?”

Everything’s becoming more and more.. war..y?

It’s nice they have backup, and it’s cute that they don’t expect it , but they have it here.

Is Cas drunk? Oh I thought Angels can’t get drunk. Okay drunk Cas is SAD. Also did he drink the entire liquor store? He’s so SASSY.

“You breed with the mouth of a goat” Is that .. you f*** a goats mouth??? In - Okay Cas.

“Sam of course is an abomination” Hahaha I love this Cas.

wait wait , How is Dean suddenly a servant of heaven? Ooh noo.

Dean left. :(

If Angels make deals?contrcats? are they obliged to follow like demons? If Dean does ask for Lisa,Ben,Bobby and Sam to be protected will they be?

Also university is killing me (save me)

[civilight-eterna]

OOOOOH.. any of the hunters + irene breeding kink for request

(because you're a goated polyshipper like me...you get laurentina/irene/skadi sandwich. love and kisses)

...

Perhaps Irene's time with the Abyssal Hunters had neutered her fears in a way that others had not experienced. She has always been one to speak her mind in the first place, and when she observes-on multiple occasions!-Skadi dismissing herself from a talk with Laurentina the moment Irene arrives, she begins to wonder at it. Laurentina's musical giggles and the barely-masked scowl it incurs from Skadi sit Irene with the all-too-familiar sense of having things unsaid about oneself in thinly-veiled secret.

She's been singled out before, during her studies. She should be used to it.

But perhaps, she expected a little better of her newer peers.

So she steels her resolve and confronts her directly, on a whim, in the corridor.

"Skadi. You have been avoiding me, and I would very much like to know why."

"I've been avoiding you because I want to get you pregnant."

A beat.

"E-Excuse me!?"

This time, Laurentina is the one to excuse herself. She grins and hoists the hem of her skirt with a sweeping curtsy and a mirthful smile, dipping around from Skadi as she exits the conversation-

Or at least, she tries.

"Y-You! You stay put-you're, you owe me some explanations too-" Irene fumes, her face burning hot, still reeling from Skadi's blunt remark.

"Oh my, such an aggressive little birdie today. But I don't think staying would be very wise of me-"

Irene did not think it possible for Skadi's face to ever entertain an expression that could plead for mercy. And yet, that is exactly how she looked as she turned her gaze to Laurentina with haste.

"Please."

It takes Irene aback to see her ask so plainly, even though saying things plainly is what she knows her for.

Laurentina smiles and acquiesces, much to Skadi's visible relief.

"Then let's take this conversation somewhere more private, shall we?"

...

"-It's something of a leftover gene with our less-Aegir side. It's quite troublesome, especially for a certain Orca that says things as she thinks of them." Laurentina finishes the explanation, mercifully succinct, and without too much teasing.

"It's frustrating," Skadi's voice is tense, cutting in sharply, "I don't even have the anatomy to make it happen. But it aches all the same."

"...I see." Irene wonders whether it was the best idea to have this conversation in Skadi's room, in full view of the bed.

Not out of any concern that something would-happen. She just thinks-

How awful it is, to be without control over one's body. How painful, to have to resist those urges, to constantly expend energy in such a way.

And...

How flattering, that all this time, what she'd mistaken for being made fun of in secret had turned out to be admiration, even if it were only because of some physiological response.

What should she even suggest?

"Is there nothing I can do to help?..."

Irene doesn't realize she's wondered it out loud until she glances up and sees Laurentina hide a smile behind her hand.

"Or-I mean!" Irene's face warms instantly as Skadi regards her, "It-doesn't need to be me, if you don't want-"

"I do."

"Excuse me?"

"I am attracted to you. You bled two weeks ago. You're fertile-"

"H-H-How do you-?!"

"Sharks can tell." Skadi answers her outburst calmly. Laurentina's smile is wider, if a little guiltier for it. "And-"

"I-I'm-" Irene's mind reels, feeling like she's reacting to each point in halved time. She doesn't even have the chance to be outraged or indignant-it's all just shock.

Skadi closes in, her presence slow and calm, like she's come to some determinations about her in the last few minutes on her own.

"-Willing. Aren't you?"

Skadi's hand closes around one of Irene's, and she brings the back of it against her mouth.

Irene has been aware of her shorter stature for some time. In general, but especially compared to her new colleagues. She beholds Skadi with quietened awe, the sleek angles of her cheekbones, the texture of her lips against her fingers, the velvet-steel look in her eyes.

"Y...Ye...s."

"But I would break you apart." Skadi says seriously, "Even without something to put inside of your-"

"Aa-ah-! I get-I get the jist!"

I'll die if I hear another word of this!

Laurentina, her fingers curled beneath her chin, tilts her head and shares her musings.

"Suppose you just...went through the motions until you were satisfied? I could help."

"Help how?" Skadi's brow furrows.

"Relax, no need to be so territorial! You said as much yourself-you'd break her apart. If I were beneath her, to counterbalance you, you should be able to really cut loose."

"I wasn't being-"

"I know. But it's cute when you get flustered. Right, little birdie?"

"I-It's no laughing matter. Skadi is in considerable pain, no? And this is-"

-Sacrilege, if the church ever caught wind of this arrangement-

"-fine with me. I just want you..."

Irene trails off, glances up into Skadi's eyes. Back down again.

"...to feel better."

...

It's not wrong to help someone who is hurting. Surely, there were-contingencies, for this sort of thing.

Irene knows very well there are not.

But there should be. It's not the church's fault they had no way to conceive of all of the ways in which her people might suffer, when the scriptures were written.

She rapidly realizes that there is absolutely no justification she could offer, to herself or any higher power, for as to why she agreed to be held down against Laurentina's supine form as Skadi doubles over her and grinds, hard, between her legs.

But she soon becomes more concerned with more mortal matters.

All of Skadi's weight is anchored into her hips, and she ruts into Irene through their clothes like she's chasing her very bones. Laurentina writhes beneath her, rolling her between them, easing the worst of the pressure, but the sensation is suffocating.

Her hands scramble for Skadi's shoulders, and she can feel Laurentina's thighs pressing into her backside as she cocoons her with her body.

"Hhhah, you're close?" Laurentina coos, and Skadi groans into Irene's neck, closing her between them like a vise-

My...ribs are going to crack, Irene thinks numbly, and her head dips back over Laurentina's shoulder as a strangled cry rumbles out of her chest, She's going to break every bone in my body, if this keeps up-

Skadi's hand clutches her suddenly beneath the knee, hiking it up as she grinds closer, harder than before.

"S-Skadi, you're, g-going to kill me-!"

Those must have been the magic words, because Skadi's voice pitches and her entire body shudders, rolling with the aftershocks as she slumps over Irene, breathing hard. Something in her was sated, Irene can tell that much.

She's breathing hard too. There's a little too much humidity between her legs to all be sweat, and she pants, desperately-

"-It's, it's hot-"

"Take these off next time then." Skadi's voice is slightly muffled over her shoulder. She doesn't move a muscle.

"N-Next time?!"

"Mmhm."

Laurentina's hands are drifting, silky-soft, beneath her skirt, pressing and poking at her thighs.

"Oh, see." She hums as Irene winces, "I don't even have to see here to know that she's all bruised up."

Irene whimpers, and Skadi nuzzles her, just below her ear.

"...Sorry. Really."

"D-Don't worry. Just save your strength."

"Mmhm."

It's funny. Irene thinks. Anyone else, I would expect to say something about the obvious divide in our abilities, would point out how strange it is for someone like me to tell her what to do. But she doesn't sound disingenuous at all.

"You too, brave little birdie." Laurentina's legs tremble beneath hers, and she takes a shivering breath that makes Irene wonder how she managed to take on everything at once. "Not even my finest clay can withstand such pressure-you're truly a resilient medium of your own right." Laurentina's dexterous fingers slide up around Irene's shoulders, gently kneading them, releasing tension, "That being said, you'd probably appreciate a slightly...softer touch? I promise I'll be careful with you while Skadi sleeps it off."

Irene sighs, tilting her neck into the touch.

She has nothing to say for Skadi having fallen asleep already-she'll be joining her soon.

[merakiui]

OMG with your caption of "milkshakes at monstros lounge is about to taste 10x better with Jades secret ingredient" made me have a brain rot.

IMAGEN FXCKING FLOYD DRINK IT AND NOW WANTS IT STRAIGHT FROM THE SOURCE 😭 in that fic you said that we were first passed to Floyd but he was too bothered so we got handed to Jade. So imagen he somehow find out and now wants us in the same position that we are with Jade but with HIM.

Or Azul is also a degenerate so taking a book from Jade we go back to working for him tasting his potions that for some reason also made us lactate..

OR SOME OF OUR FRIENDS SEE/HEAR WHAT GOING ON OR MAYBE WE TELL THEM AND THEY TRY TO "help" US BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH WE WHERE ALREADY MILKED IT STARTED TO FILL UP MORE TO AN UNCOMFORTABLE LEVEL AND THEM BEING OUR BFF AND "totally not weird or have feelings for us" CONVINCE US TO LET THEM HIM. While it's either but them sucking or playing with our nipples with a bowl under to not make a mess 🤞☺️💕

OH AND IMAGEN THEY FIGURE OUT THAT THE REASON THE MILKSHAKES TASTE BETTER IS BECAUSE OF THIS AND OUR BFF STARTS USING THE MILK THEY GOT OUR FOR US FOR THEMSELVES 🤭 now they self proclaimed themself our lil helpers (or milker).

Now we can also have multiple BFF and they all help us at the same time too to get all that fullness out of us 🥰

-Yours truly, the annon that you awakened their lactation kink onces again 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

YES YES AAAAAAA OTL

(cw: yandere, brief nsfw mentions, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, lactation, female reader, brief mentions of pregnancy)

Floyd and Azul are so incredibly fake. T-T they only want you when you start producing milk. Most fake fans ever, switching up like that… Floyd complains about how lucky Jade is, and Jade has to tell him that it was Floyd who wanted nothing to do with you in the beginning. He’s merely looking after you as you’re now his contractual obligation, though he would be lying if he said he wasn’t attached to you. He’s become rather enthralled. Jade has written the potion recipe down, even perfected it after some more trial and error (which you were more than happy to assist with) and so now he has a potion that’ll have you lactating for at most a full day. <3

Floyd’s too impatient to fill bottles and jars up, so he’ll just pull your shirt open and tug your bra up and take it straight from the source with his greedy mouth. I like to think Jade watches the both of you so fondly, so happy that his favorite people are getting along well even if you’re squirming and telling Floyd to be more gentle, to slow down, to put his teeth away.

Azul goes absolutely insane when he learns of that potion. You can’t tell me he also wouldn’t have the biggest lactation kink ever. It ties in nicely with the breeding kink. Jade has him sample some dishes made from your milk, along with a glass of your milk, and he’s easily able to tell there are notable differences. He asks if this is goat’s milk rather than cow’s and Jade smiles deceptively and says he’ll show Azul who to thank for the delicious ingredients. He brings Azul to you, where you’re currently trying to deal with your swollen, leaky tits while Floyd is doing everything he can to try to steal at least one sip. If only you could see the dollar signs in his eyes… Oh, you’re so marketable! He could definitely capitalize on this.

Now that Azul knows of this, it’s over for you. But before he decides to sell your milk or use it for Mostro Lounge dishes, he wants to touch and squeeze and fondle you. I imagine he just stares at you for the longest time because his brain is short-circuiting trying to remind himself that you aren’t pregnant; this is just the result of magic. You aren’t pregnant or filled with eggs, but you could be. You’re not pregnant. He’s never fucked you before. But what if… Azul milks you once and out of sheer instinct he places his hand over your belly and mumbles something about how he can’t wait to be a father. (pathetic tako delusions…)

Imagine they give you the potion so often that you start to lactate on your own, if only a little. Magic definitely has more of an effect on your body because you can’t use it or sense it like mages can, so it’s definitely possible it might do something to you internally. Imagine being with Ace and Deuce and you leak through your shirt and you’re so embarrassed trying to explain what’s happening and Ace is poking fun as usual, while Deuce is in shock like, “Milk comes from women?!?!?!?! The store-bought milk I drink,,,,,, came from a woman????” Deuce already had a lot of respect for you, but now he is a million times more respectful because it can’t be easy filling all those milk bottles. (Deuce, never change. You are a sweetheart.)

Ace will want to sample directly from you. He teases you a lot, squeezing your breasts just to watch the wet patches on your shirt become larger and more noticeable. Deuce thinks that the two of them should bring you to someone who can help. Ace supposes that’s fine, but before that he needs a taste. Be a good best friend and let him taste you. There’s nothing weird about it. Best friends help each other out all the time. Ace and Deuce bring you to Trey because he’s responsible and oh-so-wise, and Trey also has this moment where he just stares at you, mouth slightly agape, before he has to clear his throat and quickly act normal and relaxed and calm and level-headed. Did I mention how relaxed he is? You cannot lactate around Trey. He will want to use your milk in the sweets he bakes (Riddle’s strawberry tarts are about to be so delicious), but he’ll also want you against the counter while he fucks you against it, pretending the both of you are married and he’s knocked you up and you’re lactating in preparation of the baby. He’s so not normal about this; he’s so down bad.

The brain cell duo bring you to Housewarden Riddle and he is overcome with so many emotions. Riddle is so flustered and he snaps at Ace and Deuce to cover you while he figures out what to do next. But you know Che’nya’s probably lurking around, and if you happen to be outside and a pair of invisible hands grope you and you’re suppressing moans while milk trails down your tits…… Riddle is fighting a losing battle here. He has never been so,,,, conflicted. So acutely aware of the female form. So immersed in how you sound when Che’nya’s teasing you. Riddle wants you and your milk so bad, but he has to be polite and respectful. He will help you and after the fact he will not think about it again. He will not lie awake at night, staring into the darkness and wondering how it might feel to drink directly from your breasts. For once the Octavinelle trio have done something good, even if this good thing is the byproduct of dubious behavior.

Ruggie learns of this and you know he’s going to want in. Let him have a taste, won’t you? He couldn’t get breakfast because he was running all around for Leona. He’s parched! Likewise, Leona probably hears of it from Ruggie or he catches the gossip from his dorm members and now he’s demanding Ruggie to bring you to him. Leona’s much more composed about the entire thing. He’ll tease you a little with a cocky smirk, asking if you like being in the spotlight like this, if you like his hands on you, if you like being milked and treated like a commodity by some (Octavinelle). Leona actually handles you very gently when he milks you. He respects women and their bodies, so he doesn’t want to hurt you or cause you any discomfort. Sometimes he thinks you’re pregnant (which could also be another reason why he’s oddly sweet to you), but he quickly reminds himself that that wouldn’t be possible because if you were pregnant it would be with his child and his child only. If you point out his behaviors, he’ll gruffly tell you you’re delusional and that he’s not doing this for your sake. It’s just his means of having access to a little snack when Ruggie’s taking forever to bring him his lunch.

Though Malleus can’t sense life within your belly, sometimes he’ll think you really are pregnant when he sees you lactating and he thinks of how pleasing it would be to raise little ones with you. He visits every night, not only to see you and spend time with you, but to help should you be kept awake desperately trying to milk yourself empty. Malleus is also gentle when handling you, his voice so soft and fond when he speaks to you, praising you and calling you all manners of endearments to show you that you should not be self-deprecating or disgusted with yourself. He thinks you are absolutely perfect; this is nothing to be ashamed of, nor does it make you unsightly in any way. He’s probably kissed you while his hands were cupping your breasts. There’s something so intimate in kissing while he’s touching such a special, sacred place. Every day the temptation to sweep you off your feet and away to Briar Valley consumes him. He could build such a happy family with you. Lilia certainly encourages it.

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Someone uses the spell that turns them into an animal for a day. What are they and how do they react?

Undertale Sans - He's a blobfish. Welp. That happened. He can't really do anything about it. He's just... there. Strangely, though, he thinks it's not that bad. He's even a little sad when he has to go back to his normal form. It was an experience.

Undertale Papyrus - He's a goose. He's even more loud now, and scaring everyone around. To help Undyne realize he's Papyrus, he actually picks up a knife, to show her he's civilized. Undyne takes that as a threat and now Papyrus is running for his life, screaming, terrified she's going to roast him or something.

Underswap Sans - He's a sloth. He's so frustrated about this. He wants to do things, he really wants to! But everything is just... SLOW. SO SLOW. He wants to scream, run, and jump everywhere but just moving an arm is killing him. He's not going to survive. Please someone save him!

Underswap Papyrus - He's a Tenessee Fainting Goat. You know, these goats who faint at any source of stress? Welp. That doesn't change too much from usual. Except now Blue is having the fun of his life scaring the hell out of him just to watch him fall over, paralyzed. That's actually not funny :( He doesn't like it.

Underfell Sans - He's a very pissed-off hippopotamus. He can't think clearly anymore, all he knows is that he's angry and that he feels like he has to charge anything moving too close. He sent a lot of people to the hospital that day, including his brother and Undyne, then the King and the Queen they called in despair for help to control him. Red is the strongest monster ever created like that. But, as soon as he's returning to normal, he's in big trouble.

Underfell Papyrus - He's a shoebill. He has an angry face, he can makes gun noises with his mouth and he can stare right through your soul for hours. Everyone hates that. At least, it's fitting. Edge feels so powerful. He made three kids cry already and he intends to make many more run in fear before the end of the day.

Horrortale Sans - He's a big round panda. He doesn't know what to do with his body and won't stop knocking on everything in the house, despite Willow begging him to go outside. He just wants to curl up somewhere and sleep but he's just so big that nothing is comfortable. After some time, desperate, he goes outside and grabs a terrified cow to make a pillow.

Horrortale Papyrus - At this point, he thinks the universe hates him. He's a giraffe. Somehow, he's even taller than a normal giraffe. Obviously, since he can't hide because of his size, he got captured and pushed into a zoo, where an old giraffe matriarch didn't stop to parade to breed with him. He prefers to not talk about all of this anymore. Worst day of his life, he even got fined in the morning for entering the giraffe enclosure without any authorization, despite him screaming he was the giraffe all along. Hard day.

Swapfell Sans - He's a peacock. He was fine with it until Rus harassed him to fan his tail again and again and start making random people pay to enter HIS house to see him parade and take pictures. He's not against easy money, but he knows he won't see the color of that money and that's basically abusing his situation. So, after two hours, Nox decides he has enough and starts attacking the children, making them run in fear and terror. Once they're all gone, he attacks his brother lol. Rus has to hide in a tree to escape him. Nox waits for him silently on the floor, staring into his soul.

Swapfell Papyrus - He's an elephant seal... His nose is way too big and he can't do anything except rolling on himself and be loud to complain about the situation. He's too big to fit into the house, but he transformed there. He's literally stuck in the bathtub as Nox threw him there with blue magic to get him out of the way. He's splashing water pathetically, waiting for this nightmare to end.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He's a llama. He's mad. And he won't stop spitting at anyone really. Unfortunately, Coffee saw you can ride lamas on Minecraft and now they're wandering in the city because Wine can't say no to his brother, and certainly not like that. A police officer asks Coffee to put him on a muzzle because he's too dangerous and bite three people in the park who tried to touch him lol. Wine can't believe Coffee agreed. He feels so humiliated.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He's a fly.... Wine is so scare he might die he locks him in a jar for the day. Poor Coffee is flying in circles all day long, bored. It's not like he can even say he's bored so... Eventually, he falls asleep and spends the rest of the day. The only problem is that his foot stays stuck inside the jar when he grows up again and he has to go to the hospital to take it off lol.

[zweetpea]

Zhongli x reader The Dragon of Geo (Spicy, no smut)

Summary:

The classic tale of a young lady and a dragon, but with a twist. AU no deities, or Tevat (I’ll still use Liyue and the Qixing just for convenience), no Archons. And I made Shenhe an Adepti because I thought that thematically it fit better. Also female reader.

Notes:

Warning: not for the kiddos! Has foul language and mentions of heat and breeding. And if you want me to write you smut based of the sultry scene feel free to ask.

Feel free to request any genshin ideas

Ao3 version here

Once upon a great beast roamed the sky. His scales, as brown as mud yet they sparkled like crystals. His hair as thick and shiny as gold yet it was softer than silk. His claws as sharp as rocks yet somehow held a gentleness reserved for the mortals of his land. And did he ever love his mortals. Hewent by many names, Rex Lapis, The Great One, Mighty Dragon of Geo, the children often called him Zhongli, but my favorite name for him has always been Morax. Something about it just presented power and authority. To me it screamed “I am your protector! You are mine to love! Though the seasons may change and life caries on for mortals, I will be here to protect you always!”

But those were the foolish wishes of a young girl who knew nothing of the world. A girl who was enchanted by the glimmer told to her as a child to keep her innocent.

He protected us for a millennia, but a century ago he decreed that unless he was given a bride by sunset he would ravage the land. The Qixing gathered everyone together to see if there was anyone who was willing to go. In the end they had to draw up a lottery since no one volunteered. Five years later he demanded another girl. And another after another five years. Some mothers or sisters left instead to protect their family, some had to be carried away screamed and crying. When I was fifteen years old I even witnessed a girl ask that she be escorted there in a carriage with a beautiful white dress. She was convinced that she was going to die and wanted to be pampered and treated like a princess in her last minutes.

I was never convinced that he ate them. I thought that they were a part of his harem and he got bored with them eventually. But it was undignified and unlawful to let a woman marry a man after she had been deflowered, lest she be a widow.

Anyway, it’s now five years later. Liyue is waiting on a letter from one of the four Illuminated Beast. This time 15 years ago Xiao came. He was a beautiful black and teal eagle (A/n: Don’t question the animal forms). 10 years ago Yanfei a lovely salmon pink deer came. 5 years ago an adorable little blue goat named Ganyu arrived with the letter. So this year should be the elegant white crane Shenhe.

Right on time she flys down with the letter in her mouth. I inform her of my name, how I knew her and the other Adepti’s name. “Don’t worry Shenhe, there’s is no need to go back to the others. I’ve been informed that I should wait here until the letter arrives and if it never came I was to return at the end of the day. I am the new bride of the dragon of Geo.”

Well truth be told the reason that I didn’t want to go back to the others was because I had a plan to stop all of this. In the back of my traditional dress I hid a dagger. I’m not much of a fighter but I figured... someone had to try? I guess? I dressed modestly as I figured that he would like it enough to not eat me immediately. If I died in battle I was going to take down Rex Lapis. I don’t need the praise, and I just want my people to live peacefully oblivious lives. In a few centuries this nightmare will become folk lore. A cautionary tale to spook children into being good. It’s finally going to end. I wonder if they’d get most of the details accurate, maybe they’d try to scope out the cave to try and find more details.

We walk out to the middle of the wild and into the mountains. The cave of the beast. Surprisingly it had doors. They’re beautifully sculpted and chiseled with various pattern that made me stop and gape at them in awe.

“This way, young one.” Shenhe motions with her wing. The doors open slowly and I enter the unnatural dark cave.

Once they close lanterns illuminate the corridor and standing before me was a gorgeous woman with long white hair that fades to black at the end, tied in a beautiful braid. “Who...?”

“Right my apologies. It’s still me Shenhe. In the cave myself, Xiao, Ganyu, and Yanfei take on more human characteristics. Come on, we mustn’t keep the master waiting.”

She leads me to the end of the corridor and into a large room. It looks like it had to be a thrown room due to the throne at the far back on top of a short flight of stairs but it feels as if someone could throw a party in here.

“Shenhe. You’ve returned earlier than usual.” A deep voice from behind a burgundy curtain called. His glowing gold eyes peer through the semitransparent cloth. She kneels to him once we reach the bottom of the stairs.

“The mortals came prepared, this time.” She informs the man on the throne. Gold and brown plush pillows surround him as he lay there waiting for his next plaything.

I kneel too to show him that I am as loyal and docile as his servants. “Shenhe you are dismissed.” She exits the room and he rises from his throne and draws back the curtains. “Rise my bride. Rise and look at me.” I do as he commands. I gape with wide eyes at the man before me. Long thick black hair pulled back in a ponytail, he had on a strange white outfit that showed off his chest and yet was like a skirt at the bottom. His arms were black at the shoulder and gradients to a yellow at his hands, I wonder if that was natural or part of his clothes. He starts to descend towards me as I’m standing there like an idiot. He chuckles, his voice even more sultry. “Like a little bunny caught in her predictors sight.” In the blink of an eye he’s behind me, holding my dagger to my throat. His hood most likely fell off as he dashed for me. “You are the only one who has ever tried to kill me. Others have begged or tried to bargain. Some I’ve even fed to Xiao because they only cared about the prestige of becoming my wife.”

“Your eyes... the legends and one own imagination cannot do them justice. I’ve imagined them thousands of times. How could I have hated these beautiful ambers for five years?” I looked up at him as he leaned over me.

“Excuse me? Did you just ignore what I said? Maybe I wasn’t clear enough. Women who try to seduce me are fed to my servants.”

I’m off in lala land and can’t fully register his word. “My father’s probably told me your legend 100 times when I was younger. If you’re going to kill me please let me die with your eyes being the last sight I see.”

“100 times? I could never fathom hearing something 20 times let alone that many.”

“Ironically I am your 20th bride.”

“Do you think that makes you special?”

“That’s for you to decide. Are those horns real?” His horns came up from his head and slanted back then curled back towards the front. I turned around in his hold.

“Yes they are, and they’re vERY—” He cuts himself off as I grab his horn. He groans at the contact dropping my dagger, it clangs as it reaches the ground. “—Sensitive.” He grabs my hips and nearly grinds our waists together. He breathing is heavy as he layers his head on my neck and guides me up the stairs. I almost trip a few times as I have to walk backwards. “If you ever do that again, you won’t be walking for a week.” He pushes me down on his throne. He pins my hands above me.

“Was- was that supposed to be as erotic as you made it sound?” My face feels hot and is undoubtedly red.

He looks at me surprised and then angry. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t take you right here, or better yet call in the Adepti to watch as I fuck you dumb on my cock like the whore that you are?”

“Morax, I know that you probably won’t care but I’d like to ask you a question before you deflower me.”

He looks a bit surprised, probably because of the name I called him by. “... this better be good.”

“Why did you ask for a bride?”

“Why? Why?! I don’t have to tell you anything!!”

“Okay. I’m ready.” I say nonchalantly. This caught him off guard.

“Excuse me.”

“You granted me my question, and from the stories I’ve been told Morax keeps his word. You told me you were going to torture the poor Adepti by forcing them to watch us propagate.”

“Do you just believe everything that you’ve been told or read in a book?” His face like the fabled Jueyun Chili’s.

“I was actually also wondering about those stories. But you’ve only permitted me with one question, so I guess I’ll never know.”

“If you were so curious about me why’d you try to kill me?” He lets me sit up.

“I mean, you are quite well known for your brides going missing and never coming back. It would be stupid not to have some kind of protection, whether or not it would work is a whole different argument. I figured that if for some reason I changed my mind I should still have some protection.”

He smirks at me. “I don’t think that’s you wanting to kill me is the truth. Not anymore at least. You wanted to convince yourself that you would be the hero. But what you really wanted was answers. Answers to the questions that you’ve been tossing and turning in your sleep about. I can see it in your eyes. The was they sparkled when you went to grab my horns. The way you looked over my body as I came closer to you just a few minutes ago. The way you were ready to use your last boon on something that should be so innocent, just so that you could get the answers that were just eating you alive.”

Could he really read you like an open book? One with the letter printed big and bold? “Okay, you forced me to face a truth I really didn’t want to confront. What does this mean now? You know that I won’t try to kill you, you know that I don’t want your power, and you know that I’m not gonna beg for my life or try to bargain for the sake of Liyue. So what will you do now?”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve had someone who’s interested in history and my stories stumble into my life. I’d like to keep you around for now.”

“What happens when you don’t want me anymore?” He walks back to where he dropped my dagger and comes back with it. He makes a slit on his palm and smeared the golden blood on my forehead in a single line.

“I make this contract to you that should I get bored of you that you may leave this place and never return. Once you wash off my blood the contract with solidify.”

(A/n: just go with it)

“Well what happens if you take my virginity then get bored of me? It wouldn’t be proper for me to marry another.”

He makes another slit on his palm as the first healed already. Then drags another line across my forehead. “If I am to take you, let our first contract become null and void and I will make you my wife.”

“Does this mean that I may ask you anything that I want?” My eyes widened probably sparkling.

He chuckles. “How about you go explore while I um... ahem, straighten up.” He gestures to the tent in his pants.

I blush and look away. “Right! So Um, bye!” I run from the room to the door on the left of the main entrance to the throne room.

<><;><><>

I didn’t see him again until dusk that same day. I got well acquainted with the rest of the rest of the adepti in their human forms. I also found water to wash off his blood. He found me wandering around and brought me to a bedroom.

“This will be your room. Mine is just across the way if you need me.”

“Thank you.”

“Think nothing of it. This is my only article of clothing and if we were in the same room then I’d be too overwhelmed by that little body of you little bunny to resist.”

“Um, will I have more than one piece of clothing?”

“I’ve already asked Shenhe to get your clothes from your father. I believe that some of the other citizens have given you presents as well. Something about this being a change for the better.”

“They probably think that if I’m moving my clothes here that you’ve accepted me and won’t seek another bride at least for a few decades.”

“By then who knows what invention they will make to stop me. I might be done for.”

“I don’t think so. You’re the oldest documented creature in the world!”

“And yet you still wonder why I want a bride.”

“Your lonely?” He goes into his own room and closes and locks the door. “But what about the Adepti!”

“Good night bunny.” He says through the door.

“That not my name!” I shout my name to him.

<><;><><>

3rd person POV

When Shenhe reached Liyue she was confused about the what the people were doing. Most were celebrating. But there was a lone man in the background shaking and trying to stay calm. When she arrived the celebration stopped dead in its tracks and everyone looked panicked.

“Where is the new brides father?” No one new who she was talking about so she informed them that a new bride had offered herself up. The brides father steps up to Shenhe and asked what happened to his daughter. She asks for your clothes and tells everyone that the girl was alive and well.

After that everyone ran back to their homes and grabbed something nice to give her for the new bride. They all tagged the gifts so the bride knew, who gave her what.

<><;><><>

1st person POV

I found the gifts in my room. Very pleasant silk clothes and finely made hair pins, combs and brushes. A few even sent toys. ‘Wait, they think...’ I thought as my face heated up. ‘No, no. Get those disgusting perverted thoughts out of your head girl! He’s just keeping you around for entertainment!’

<><;><><>

The next day at breakfast I started asking him questions.

“So if you only fed a few to Xiao what happened to the rest?”

“Well I either got tired of their nonsense and killed them or they ate a Jueyun chili and died. The ones I fed to Xiao I turned into mice first. And the rest of them who left behind bodies were buried.”

“They’re real? Jueyun Chili’s I mean.”

“Of course.”

“Are they really as hot as a thousand fires?”

“Oh no, it’s more like ten thousand.” He chuckles.

“Are you making fun of me? I really am curious!”

“I know. You’re just too cute Little Bunny.” He smirks. “They are spicy enough to kill a mortal with a single bite. Even the smallest nibble would kill a fragile soul.”

“Are you going to set a limit to how many questions I get to ask you per day?”

“Why would I do that? That would just restrict my fun!”

“I just don’t want to make you annoyed.”

“You are very interested Little Bunny.” He chuckles again, as I blush.

“Are your arms... naturally like that?”

“Yes.

...it’s how I look because I my dragon form.”

“Right, Shenhe mentioned that in this cave you all transformed into human like beings. Why is that? What is it about this cave that allows you to transform.”

“I was the only one able to shape shift. They all longed to have the ability to have a human form. I carved these halls and cast a spell over this place that allows them to transform into whatever human form they desire.”

“I’m happy for them!”

“As am I.”

<><;><><>

After a four months I was still living with them and it was reaching near my birthday.

“Hello Morax! Do you want to know why today is so special for me!”

“I’ll bite, why?”

“I’m 21 today! It’s my birthday!”

“Birthday?” He looks confused.

“Well yeah! Mortals have this tradition called a birthday where we celebrate the day that we were born and how many years we’ve been alive!”

“Well good Birthday to you then.”

“Silly! Mortals say happy birthday and whoever is having the birthday receives presents. So can yours be you telling me stories from the millennia that you protected Liyue? Please?”

He looks at me like I’m crazy. “You are certainly interesting. You can ask for anything and you ask for that?”

“I wasn’t sure that if I asked any other day that you would tell me stories.” I look down in embarrassing.

He pulls me onto his lap as he sits on his throne. “I’ll tell you anything that you want if you tell me what else you want for your birthday.”

“Um, well I guess... the only other thing that I’d want is to maybe go outside. Only for an hour or two. It’s just, I haven’t been out since I moved in and I’d like some natural sunlight.”

“I’ll do you one better. As long as myself or one of the Adepti are with you, you can go out anytime.”

“Really?” My eyes shine brightly. He nods. “Thank you so much!” I squeal and hug him, as well as giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“Do you want to go now?”

“Just let me hug you a little longer.” I request a bit embarrassed.

<><;><><>

It’s getting close to a year now and I’ve noticed that Morax seems withdrawn from me.

“Hey. Morax? Rex Lapis? Zhongli? Are you okay?” I knock on his door and don’t get a reply. Xiao is walking past when he decides to pull me away from his masters room. “Hey what was that for?”

“You’ve made it farther than most. Except for one. Guizhong, the first bride.”

“What happened to her?”

“The legends you’ve been told are wrong. Guizhong offered herself to the master. She was much like you. Curious, fearless, trusting but not naive, but the biggest difference is that she could tell him to back off. You just let him tease you like a masochist.”

“Okay so why isn’t she here?”

“He had never had a lover before, he was possessive over her. And as time went on she started to hate him. And she flung herself off of the balcony in his room.”

“Oh my goodness, poor Morax.”

“On top of all of that she was his first love.”

“Xiao please, help me get in there! I want to let him know that I won’t leave him! That I want to stay with him!”

“Luckily I have the only other key to the masters room. I have to warn you though, he’ll be in his dragon form but it’ll be only a tenth his true forms size.” He unlocks the door and I rush in to the lavish room. It’s the most beautiful room in his palace. He lays motionless in his dragon form. Around his bed. In this form he huge. 50 feet long, brown scales, gold locks and curly horns. The legends really don’t do his majestic beauty justice.

I rush to his side and hug his head in my arms. He’s very thick though so I can’t get my hands all the way around. “I’m here, and I’m not going to leave you. You’re stuck with me whether you like it or not.”

He lets out a small roar, something akin to a whimper.

<><;><><>

I’m in my fifth year staying with Morax, and I’m madly in love with him.

On this wonderful day all of the Adepti are running around the hall in a panic.

“Ganyu what’s going on?”

“Well um... maybe you should stay in your room for a few days to about a week... and lock the door... and hide if someone tries to come in.”

“Ganyu, where is Morax?”

“Please for your own safety stay away from the master this week.”

“But-” before I could ask her anymore questions she rushed off. ‘Morax what are you hiding?’ I thought. I know that it’s rude to go into someone’s room without their permission but I am supposed to be his bride so surely an exception can be made just this once.

I slip through the door and the room is almost pitch black save for a few candles. His balcony door is closed and his curtains are drawn. I hear rustling around the room and feel arms snake around my waist. “What are you doing here, my cute little bunny?” Morax’s voice sounds strained, and yet hungry. Husky and low and so sultry. As he spoke that into my ear his hot breath hitting the shell I almost melted right there.

“Morax? What’s going on?”

“Seems there are stories that even my little scholar doesn’t know. Once every 100 years or so I go into heat, it’s a time period called breeding season. You seem so ravenous right now.” He groans in my ear and suddenly I feel my underwear becoming damp. “Don’t you know how rude it is to enter someone’s room without knocking? I think that you need to be punished.”

A small squeak was all I could muster as he threw me over his shoulder and walked me over to his bed. He dropped me down onto it and made quick work in getting rid of my clothes, leaving me in only my underwear.

“Naughty little thing aren’t you.” He teased as he felt my slit through my underwear.

“Morax, please. Stop teasing me, and just fuck me.” I whimper.

“Eager are we?” He smirks.

“I really love you and I want this. Please, let me help you. I want to help you, I want you!”

He blushes at my confession and gently smiles at me. “Whatever my love wants, she will get.”

<><;><><>

“Do you think that I’m pregnant?”

“I’m not sure. I fucked you good though.” He teased.

“Yeah and I can’t feel my legs.” I deadpan.

“What a shame. Looks like you can’t leave then.” He snuggles closer to me as the week of his breeding period is over.

“I love you.” I tell him.

“I know you’ve practically chanted it this entire week.”

“Well you better get used to it because you promised to marry me if we had sex.”

“I’ve known for a while now that I wanted to marry you.”

“Does that mean that I can touch your horns whenever I want?”

“Didn’t you get enough of that this week?”

“I like your horns, I find them very cute and so smooth.” I smile as he flushes red.

“Given the chance to become immortal and live with me forever, would you take it?”

“Staying young with you forever? Yes please, where do I get this immortality?”

“The Valberry. A single bite will give you keep you young forever and you will get to be with me, forever.”

“Really? Screw til death do us part! I want you to myself forever!”

<><;><><>

“Do you Rex Lapis, The Great One, Mighty Dragon of Geo, Zhongli, Morax, take this woman to be your wife for eternity?” Yanfei asks.

“I do.”

“And do you-”

“I do!”

“She doesn’t even need to think about it, that’s what I like to hear! I now pronounce you husband and wife.” We embrace is a long loving kiss.

All of Liyue cheers at the sight of their protector finally being satisfied.

After the wedding we went back to the palace and Morax lays me down on our bed and crawls on top of me.

“I hope you’re ready for me to fuck a baby into you.” He licks his lips with his long dragon tongue.

“We don’t have to rush anything we’ve got all this time in the world.” I smirk at him.

“I am your protector. You are mine to love. Though the seasons may change and life caries on for mortals, I will be here to protect you always. I love you bunny.”

“I love you too Morax.”

[whatevermakesyoubreak]

🔪❤️‍🔥 a few (lot) of my personal illumi sfw/nsfw headcanons:

> these are strictly regarding my illumi x oc [ft. hisoka and chrollo] fic, sic infit, (which is essentially succession ft. the zoldyck’s & a bit of a romcom starring illumi), so yes— some of these will be ooc & a few of them include lira so if u don’t like her, keep scrolling idk.

- actually has the most unhinged sense of humor. sassy as FUCK but it’s hard to tell because he speaks as if he’s being completely serious. he finds a lot of things funny— especially things he shouldn’t— but just doesn’t express it unless he absolutely cannot keep a straight face anymore. (we all remember his goddamn sea lion laughing face, right?)

- is actually quite dense when it comes to anything besides assassination. not at all stupid, just… dense.

- however, illumi is a man with a plan if nothing else. he rarely if ever will go into a situation with no preparation, research, etc.

- he likes movies! all genres too— anything from thrillers, comedy, art house, classics, horror, romantic comedies, dramas, foreign films, etc— he likes them all, but only if they meet his standards. (i.e, he hates slasher films because he finds them unrealistic, some films are too artsy for him, and he has trouble understanding some romantic dramas). his favorite series is the Hellraiser series— he took lots of inspiration from Pinhead. (the movie him and Lira were watching in chapter 2 was Requiem For A Dream!)

- this motherfucker has a DIRTY mouth. i firmly believe that he cannot form a single thought without there being some form of profanity involved. however, he doesn’t express this unless he feels comfortable around someone, i.e, Lira, Hisoka, his family. he’s a master of code switching when around upper-class people, but goddamn— Kikyo should’ve been washing his mouth out with soap instead of stringing him up tbh.

- that dirty mouth of his carries over to… other areas as well. says the FOULEST, FILTHIEST and NASTIEST things during sex & you wouldn’t expect it at ALL.

- hair pulling and boobs. that is all.

- switch. enough said.

- speaking of sex, he’s hung like a fucking horse & knows it.

- also, that stoic, inexpressive & unemotional exterior of his? yeah, that shatters like glass the second this man gets horny. like he fully gets stuuupid cock/pussydrunk. he can’t even think properly anymore. he’s feral— slurring his words, drooling, begging— you name it, all while saying the filthiest shit. once he’s there, he’s there. y’all don’t wanna hear me you just wanna dance, but he’s a mess. he’s so repressed otherwise there’s no alternative than but to be the epitome of actual depravity.

- when he subs, he is a big baby, whiny, brat boy who wants to be used, bullied, and to also be told how pretty he is. he wants it messy too— as filthy and depraved as possible. he’s a fucking perv lowkey.

- when he doms, he doms— but not in your average ways— he definitely likes manhandling his partner as well as when there’s a considerable size difference (like Lira’s short ass lmao), because he likes the literal primal feeling of control it gives him.

- contrary to popular belief, i think he’d enjoy a bit of attitude as well from his partner— just so he could condescend the fuck out of them— of course. “what happened to, ‘more Illu,’ and, ‘please, Illu?’ I thought you wanted me like this...” could be considered a brat tamer?? maybe??

- as i said, he’s a huge dirty talker, but he’s more patronizing and condescending than outright derogatory. he’s also surprisingly good with giving praise, but if HE’S getting praised? gg’s goodnight & goodbye— that man is now officially whipped.

- he has an oral fixation & is an absolute MUNCH/THROAT GOAT. and he’s sloppppyyyyy with it too omg. (this is literally canon, cuz why tf was he licking those needles???)

- simultaneously has a breeding kink and is TERRIFIED to knock someone up before marriage. oh, illumi.

- a true bisexual, and has no preference. it truly depends on the person for him.

- mommy issues & daddy issues. like… bad. like… the enmeshment and parentification are real with this one.

- genuinely hates his father but can’t admit it to himself. he won’t even allow himself to think that way. it would literally make his brain explode from the cognitive dissonance.

- fairly indifferent towards his mother, but subconsciously latches on to any sort of nurturing/female care he can get due to never receiving it as a child. this shows heavily in the speed of development with his relationship with Lira.

- even though he does not like his father, he appreciates how his father and mother’s relationship functions. he ultimately respects women— perhaps to the point of putting them on a pedestal.

- i think he’s actually a bit of a romantic in the way he wants to do everything regarding his partner(s), especially with how badly he wants children and a family of his own— it’s just very very verrrryyyyy repressed & tainted with darkness and possession. but, once he loves, he loves for life. in his own illumi way, of course.

- he’s a heavy drinker. he’s not an alcoholic, but he definitely drinks more than he should, especially after jobs. prefers scotch on the rocks to anything else, but absolutely will not turn down a fruity/sweet drink either. someone please give this man a pina colada.

- drunk illumi is a menace to society, and he has to consume quite a bit of liquor in order to get there— hence why it rarely happens— but once he’s inebriated, that man is the most unfiltered and clingy bastard there is. there is nothing keeping him from speaking his mind at this point and it’s either offensive or hilarious depending on who u are.

- eats like an amusement park raccoon when he’s away from home. literally no idea how he’s so strong when his diet is 80% sugar, 10% booze, and 10% grease.

- doesn’t actually spend that much time on his hair. uses very high-quality products, but otherwise, he’s just genetically blessed. he can let that shit air dry.

- he DOES care about his hair though— when Lira singed the ends, he was PISSED. he also cares a lot about the rest of his appearance. he likes being called pretty— why wouldn’t he keep up with his looks?

- he likes when she braids his hair. sometimes they wear matching twin french or dutch braids while training. Kalluto is lowkey jealous because his hair is too short to join in.

- he has a skill for applying makeup & wigs on himself and others. before he mastered his abilities, he used to disguise himself the old fashioned way.

- he secretly really wants to dress Lira up like his own personal doll, i.e, do her makeup, hair, pick her outfit, etc. not for any weird control reasons, but genuinely because he thinks she’d be cute. he values his life too much to ever tell her this.

- illumi is actually not the best at hand-to-hand combat. he’s an assassin, not a fighter. his job is to kill, not win. by no means is he unskilled, but when compared to others who ARE masterful close quarters combatants, i.e, Lira, he is only above average. (only ‘above average’ like that’s supposed to be bad lmao)

- has an eidetic memory & pretends to forget things in order to catch people in lies.

- is actually not as socially inept or awkward as he comes off. he’s had to do his fair share of seduction and deception in his line of work, so he knows how to charm people to an extent if he really wants to.

- however… his version of flirting with someone he actually likes is staring at them very hard from across a room. he thinks this is him being obvious btw.

- he likes to watch the clouds in his spare time. literally for no reason. he just finds it relaxing. he also likes the sun, contrary to his appearance.

- he does a lot of things for no reason, tbh. he feels rather lost without having someone to assassinate, due to any drastic sort of individuality being discouraged during his upbringing and never really having developed a hobby, so besides stalking Killua, occasionally entertaining Hisoka, and before he met Lira, he tended to do random things in his spare time on a whim.

- he doesn’t like the ocean, snow, or rain, particularly because he hates being cold and wet at the same time. kind of like a cat. has heated bathroom floors for this reason.

- he doesn’t kill for pleasure. he lacks the sadistic tendencies that people like Hisoka, Lira, & Kalluto have. he simply kills because it’s his job, he likes money, & he sees it as his duty as a Zoldyck.

- he is actually a lot more rational and compassionate than he lets on. compassionate may be the wrong word— he just tries to give his targets quick deaths and doesn’t prefer to see anyone suffer unless they’ve angered him. he also won’t kill anyone if he deems it pointless or isn’t getting paid.

- however— he will do anything, and i mean ANYTHING to get what he wants. very machiavellian in nature when he’s focused.

- he doesn’t consider Lira or Hisoka to be distractions even though they quite literally are. he’s a hypocrite, but we all love him for it.

- his love language is gift giving. he will buy someone he cares about anything they look at for more than two seconds.

- he also values quality time. he will follow Lira around like a cat just saying and doing nothing, only wanting to be around her.

- he wants to get married. like, actually married, not just killing-contract married.

- he also wants children. plural.

- scorpio sun, capricorn rising, cancer moon. (ooooh that moon/rising opposition SHOWS)

- can be somewhat traditional when it comes to gender roles, which is rather ironic given his choice in partner(s). he believes it’s the man’s job to protect and provide, and has no issue doing so, even if it’s done in the most deranged ways.

- he cannot remember the majority of his childhood, only bits here and there.

- ptsd? more like P! T! S! D!

- he likes people that can get under his skin. he enjoys banter.

- notices everything, and i mean EVERYTHING. he is extremely observant, but quietly and carefully holds on to the information/patterns he sees— just in case he needs to use that information against someone.

- he has EXPENSIVE taste— forget designer, i’m talking custom made couture and shit like that. designer to him is like loungewear.

- he actually prefers dogs to cats. he wouldn’t be opposed to having a smaller dog of his own one day, but can’t currently because Mike would eat it. he doesn’t hate cats, however, he just doesn’t like how they all seem to want to play with his hair.

- actually, i think he rather likes all animals. not in a Lira-esque “i love animals because it’s fun to imagine what they’d look like with no skin,” type of way, but actually likes them.

- while he likes most animals, he has an irrational hatred of birds. literally zero reason for this. maybe jealousy?

- he values usefulness and patience in his partners and also finds their homicidal tendencies exasperating, especially Lira’s. he does not want a weak partner, nor a victim.

- when it comes to his relationships, he is very very possessive, to the point where it should be scary. however, Lira is also insane and just finds it sweet.

- while obsessive and possessive, he has absolutely no interest in abusing his partner in any way. the thought itself disgusts him. he didn’t see his father do that to his mother outside of training, so why would he ever do that to his own partner?

- when it comes to his partner, he wants to see them happy and safe, not insecure and miserable. like, he saw Lira get insecure ONE time and almost self-destructed and proceeded to basically glitch in order to change her mood.

- he would rather be alone than with someone who didn’t meet his standards.

- he’s either really good at communication or really fucking bad. no in-between.

- he’s not a big cuddler— he’s the type to just lay his entire body weight on top of someone— but just because it feels nice to him. he doesn’t really care if he’s smothering the other person— if he chose them, they should be strong enough for him, right? he does make an exception occasionally and allows Lira to hold him, but that’s typically for access to her boobs… so. he prefers having her sit in his lap, or alternatively, sitting in Hisoka’s lap himself.

- his hair moves on its own a lot— not only when he’s angry, but also whenever he’s feeling anything intense, i.e. lust, euphoria, etc. it can range from the way it whips around when he’s bloodlusted to just stirring as if he’s standing in a gentle breeze.

- hates wearing shirts at home. he’s in expensive lounge pants and nothing else— maybe a tank top and crewneck sweatshirt if he absolutely has to— but other than that? shirtless lumi always.