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calliecat93 · 3 years ago

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When I started TNG, the biggest curiosity I had was why Dr. Pulaski was so hated. I heard plenty about why, but at the same time I wanted to see for myself and be able to draw my own conclusions. Well now that I’ve finished S2, I think that I can safely state my opinion and the reasons why she had such a bad reception.

My general opinion is… Pulaski’s fine, but she got an bad start. She’s a very competent doctor who is devoted to her duty. She’s a bit of a smartass, but otherwise a friendly enough person. She’s a VERY much based off a certain CMO form a certain other Star Trek show that came out before this one, but we’ll get to that later. Pulaski honestly had a lot working against her and she just wasn’t able to get over them despite her actress Diana Muldaur (who played Miranda Jones in TOS) doing an excelent acting job. It ultimately ended with Pulaski being dropped all together and Crusher returning in Season 3.

While I understand the hate against Pulaski and can’t say that it’s unwarranted to an extent, I think that a lot of it that I saw was overblown. Now if people disliked the character, that’s fine. Everyone has different tastes and reasons for what they like and dislike and should be free to have and express those thoughts. But a lot of the issues with her that I had were taken care of very early on and she became much better by the end of her tenure. So why do I believe that Pulaski ultimately failed? Well I’ve come up with three explanations based off my own observations from watching the show and what I got from fandom consensus. Now this is all my opinion based on those observations and is not objective fact whatsoever, so take this with a grain of salt. So I believe the reasons that Pulaski failed are:

#1. She Is Essentially a Female Dr. McCoy… Sort Of: Pulaski was clearly heavily based on Dr. McCoy from TOS. She’s an middle-aged, somewhat world-weary doctor. She’s stubborn, grumpy, and doesn’t put up with anyone’s crap. She’s witty and always ready with a biting comment. She has the dedication to her job. She has the bantery relationship with the Science Officer, which we’ll go into that here soon. She is a doctor before she is an officer and that will always be her top priority, even at great risk to herself. She has a zero tolerance towards authority and isn’t afraid to talk back to anyone no matter how much they outrank her. She even outright has a hatred of teleporters that McCoy had. The parallels are all there. It may be why I’m a bit more lenient on her since McCoy is very much my favorite character in TOS and so far all of ST. But I think it is very much the root of the problem.

While Pulaski has several of McCoy’s traits, I think the writers really only understood McCoy on a surface level. They forget to include his compassion, his empathy, his humanism, his loyalty to the captain even when he opposes his actions, all of the things that make McCoy… well, McCoy. I don’t even know if the pacifism is there. Also McCoy had over 70 episodes of TOS and at that point five films (Undiscovered Country hadn’t been made yet). Pulaski had about 20 episodes and her relevance depended on the episode. McCoy had that as well, but he also had more material so we had FAR more time to get to know him. Pulaski didn’t get to have the time to gain that depth or care from the audience. Like… can I imagine Pulaski hypoing someone so that she can be tortured in their stead and it have the same impact that The Empath did? Can I see her counseling and assuring Picard if he’s having doubts like McCoy did for Kirk in The Ultimate Computer (okay tbf that would be Troi’s job but still)? Could I imagine any of the main cast being crushed about Pulaski dying of a terminal illness and choosing to stay on essentially a doomed spaceship with someone she just met and feel as gutted as I did in For the World is Hollow…? Honestly… given time maybe but in the end no. Now could I imagine McCoy risking getting an aging illness to possibly cure a child and others of it ala Unnatural Selection? Yes, albiet I think he’d be smart enough to bring protective equipment with him to be safe. Could I imagine McCoy telling someone like Data they’d be wrong to sit by a woman giving birth because he wasn’t human ala The Child? Hell no. Maybe he would if he was worried it would cause potential distress the one giving birth, but it sure as hell wouldn’t be because they’re an android. But I could imagine that someone who just saw McCoy as ‘grumpy doctor with a bad bedside manner who says witty lines and argues with the logical Vulcan character’ would get that interpretation. Thus why I think that Pulaski may have ended up how she did.

Now mind you I do think it IS a double standard to excuse McCoy’s dickish momemts and flaws, but demonize Pulaski for her’s. It’s like saying a man can be that way because it’s just expected of them and they can be forgiven, but a woman doing so or being assertice is wrong and they are horrible and unforgivable for having these traits or having flaws even if they correct them. That being said I do think that it’s more than that and it all comes down to the fact that TOS and TNG are two different shows with different character dynamics and ways of doing things. TOS mainly followed a Triumvirate (for the most part but that’s a different post entirely), TNG is much more of an ensemble. Pulaski didn’t have a Kirk nor a Spock to bounce off of or either let her traits shine or be kept in check like McCoy did nor did she really develop any unique relations for herself aside from maybe with Troi. We hear about her empathy and humanitarianism, but we don’t really see it on-screen like we did with McCoy. She has his surface level traits, not the deeper ones that the Triumvirate dynamic along his doctor position allowed him to showcase. In other words, Pulaski was put in a series that wasn’t designed for her while McCoy was exactly where he needed to be in order to thrive. It really speaks to how much the TNG writers didn’t really seem to get McCoy or why and how his character worked, which is strange since they got him right when he showed up in the series premiere. But maybe that was due to DeForest Kelley and him absolutely knowing the character he’d played for so long. But yeah they tried to replicate McCoy, and it just didn’t work with TNG’s already established character dynamics nor did they fully get the character that they were trying to recreate. If I want McCoy, I’ll go watch TOS or AOS. I didn’t need Pulaski for that.

#2. Data and Misconstrued Character Dynamics; This is in relation to the first reason and REALLY shows how much the writers didn’t think the dynamics through. We all know how much Spock and McCoy bantered. How they are opposite ends of the spectrum and how their perspective points helped Kirk in making his decisions. Well clealry they wanted to re-create that with Pulaski and Data. Makes sense, Pulaski represents the humanism and Data the logical. But there’s one big, BIG problem with that: Data is NOT Spock. A lot fo people have pointed this out, but here’s the thing about Spock. Despite whatever he may have said, Spock DID have emotions. He kept them suppressed due to the issues in his upbringing and that wasn’t necessarily healthy, but he did have them. And despite speaking in a calm manner, he was also an utter sass bucket, could be rude, and had no issue putting down humanity if he had a point to make. He and McCoy were very much equal in their bantering and yes maybe McCoy could go too far with his insults, but there was always an equal balance and Spock was also perfectly capable of starting/escalating their spats. There were also plenty of moments to show that in spite of it, they were still friends and cared a great deal about each other with probably the best examples of this being The Immunity Syndrome, Bread and Circuses, The Empath, and plenty of moments in others like Miri and For the World is Hollow… Those who have been following me know how much I love the Spock/McCoy dynamic and I could go all day, but the point is it’s a complex relationship that may seem like disdain on the outside, but is so much more when you examine it up close.

Data however? Data is intelligent and the Science Officer with a calm demeanor, but that’s about where the similarity between him and Spock ends. Data is an android. I do not believe that he is emotionless, he just has a different wiring that causes him to feel things differently. He’s never shown disdain towards humanity at least from what I’ve observed thus far. If anything, he actively seeks to understand it and emotions more. He actively has hobbies like Sherlock Holmes. He tries things like sneezing and growing a beard in an effort to understand more. Data is more or less a child with a child-like understanding of things and he doesn’t really understand social cues or things like humor, but he DOES have emotions and feelings. There’s too much on-screen evidence to say otherwise. He just has his own way of processing it. This is what makes Pulaski look so bad. When she calls Data a machine, says he can’t understand, and even purposefully mispronounces his name, she comes across as an outright bully. She is essentially bullying a neurodivergent child. Do I need to explain why that’s awful? Data, while by no means a doormat, isn’t the type to sass back or make any biting comments back like Spock would. There is no balance. There is no equal footing. There are not enough positive interactions outside the banter to show that there is something deeper there at the end of the day like Spock and McCoy did. Heck you can even compare how Pulaski and McCoy talk to Data via McCoy’s guest appearance in Encounter at Farpoint. He DOES make a quip about Vulcans when talking to Data and when Data points out he’s an android not a Vulcan, McCoy mumbles “Just as bad.” But immediately after he gives Data genuine heartfelt advice on treating the Enterprise with care. It’s clear that ultimately it’s McCoy being his usual grumpy self who’d be acting the same way towards anyone else and is otherwise perfectly civil and encouraging to Data. We’ve known him long enough to know this. Pulaski didn’t have that luxury, coming off as condescending towards Data at best and considering that she’s a doctor, it looks especially bad.

Now to be fair this only lasts for about four episodes. Pulaski does start catching herself by her second episode, and stops completely after Unnatural Selection when Data helps her and stays with her after she gets the aging virus. After that she’s MUCH moe civil to him, even defending his choice going against the Prime Directive in Pen Pals and was at his retirement party in The Measure of a Man. But clearly the damage had been done. Data is a very beloved character and by Oulaski’s intro had already been established and well-liked character. Data was treated equally and was valued as far more than just an android among the rest of the crew, Crusher included, so Pulaski coming in a season later and acting that way also didn’t help. The writers did not think through why Spock and McCoy worked and how to try figure out a unique dynamic for Pulaski and Data. Instead they just tried to copy TOS, and it utterly failed. It ruined Pulaski’s chances before she could even really start running. But I do believe that she could have rebounded and as I said, she DID get past it. She did relapse some at the end of the season in Peak Performance to the point I wanna say that maybe it chronologically happened earlier in the season, but even then she felt realized her screw up and apologized. It’s still an improvement from early on. But things just weren’t meant to be, which leads is to…

#3. She Only Lasted One Season/She Replaced Dr. Crusher: I believe that the biggest thing that worked against Pulaski is simple: she was cut after Season 2. Pulaski was created when Gates MacFadden left the show. I’ve seen conflicting reasons as to why, but regardless she left and a CMO was needed. IDK how popular Crusher was, but I had really enjoyed her. She was essentially the mom of the ship which added something different from TOS (wel McCoy was also the mom lets be real XD), had a son onboard which also added something new, was very much capable and devoted to her job, and was a badass when she got to use a phaser. Her being written out sucked, but that’s not necessarily a reason to hate Pulaski. But as I highlighted above, she just didn’t work. They tried to make McCoy, but without the dynamics and depth that let McCoy flourish. TNG is not TOS. Whenever TNG tried replicating TOS like with The Naked Now? It blew up in their faces. The key to a spinoff or reboot is to keep certain themes and tone alive, but to not just replicate what came before. TNG flourished when it began to find it’s own footing, and ultimately lasted four seasons longer than it’s predecessor due to it.

I genuinely believe that Pulaski COULD have developed into her own character and could have found her place the same way that McCoy did. But alas that didn’t happen. People wanted Crusher back, so they managed to get MacFadden to return and thus Crusher was put back in her rightful place. Because of it, Pulaski was just forgotten about. She didn’t get the chance to form her own character. She didn’t the chance to develop further and leave her early days behind. Why? Because she simply wasn’t given the opprotunity to do so. I can’t say it was the wrong choice, but it’s an utter shame because I do believe that Pulaski was on her way to improving. But it was too late. Her bad start with Data, her character not working in the TNG dynamic, and her replacing an already perfectly likeable character who did fit the dynamics all amounted to the character’s abrupt end. And because she didn’t get the chance to develop further and find her own path, her bad reputation has stuck to this very day.

In the end, the whole thing just feels like a waste. Pulaski had potential, but it just didn’t work in the end. I can’t say that I hate her. If anything, I feel bad for her. The writers failed her at the end of the day and by the time they tried correcting their errors, the audience had already made their judgement. It may have been for the best to just drop her and bring Crusher back, but I also hate seeing character potential just so utterly wasted. I hope that if any side material used Pulaski, they were able to find a much better direction for her. I can’t say that I love Pulaski. In a more TOS-like setting maybe she’d have worked better. But in the end I think that Pulaski was a decent character who just had too much working against her and they caused her to crash and burn. Just an unfortunate case all in all.

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#this is all mainly opinion so feel free to ig kre

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mypunkpansexualtwin · 3 years ago

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Surprise, surprise! A third timely post for pegoryu week! I'll definitely be passing the fuck out after this.

As per usual, bulk under the cut, link in the notes, and all my love to those who recommend it to their friends!

Ryuji was running, feet pounding against the concrete hard enough to rattle his teeth, cold air sharp against his face, lungs burning for a break as the shout echoed off the nearby buildings.

“GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE YOU DAMN BRAT!”

His old man was mad at him again, and maybe he had it coming this time, yelling at him the way he had when he overheard the grownups talking. But this was supposed to be a nice vacation for New Year’s with his grandparents in the country. His father said he’d taken the week off for family, and promised him he was gonna be better when the new year started. Turned out that was a load of crap; he didn’t take the time off, he’d been suspended for a week for turning up drunk on the job. Drunk and pissed off, just like he was now, not ten minutes after the first New Year’s countdown Ryuji had ever been allowed to stay up for. Bastard was never gonna change.

“I HATE YOU, YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!” Ryuji screamed back as tears blurred his vision. “GET AWAY FROM ME!” He had no idea which way he was going, half blind from crying and unfamiliar with his surroundings. Ignoring the string of profanity being bellowed behind him, he turned off the path and into the darker, wilder area behind the shrine. Why weren’t any of the adults nearby stopping his father? Why wasn’t anyone helping? Crunching footsteps were drawing closer with each step and he could feel another sob trying to bubble up out of his throat. The old bastard was too close and he could already feel the bruises he was gonna have when a hand caught him by the back of the shirt and hauled him back--

--into a nearby shrub. Panic was still too loud in his brain and he thrashed in his assailant’s grip before realizing that the hands holding him were too small, too soft, too gentle--

“Shhh,” A small voice soothed in his ear, soft enough he almost didn’t hear it over his father stomping through the undergrowth nearby. Part of Ryuji was too wound up, wanted to bite the hand over his mouth and keep running, but the rest of him recognized that’d just give away his hiding spot and get both of them caught. Instead he wrapped a hand around their wrist and felt them pull him closer. In spite of his old man being within arm’s reach and out for blood worse than he’d seen in a long time, Ryuji relaxed. Just a little.

After a few moments, his father muttered darkly under his breath and started kicking at some of the bushes around him. Ryuji gripped the wrist in his hand a little tighter as his father’s foot brushed their hiding spot. His mystery rescuer let go of his jacket to hold his free hand and squeeze it reassuringly. Seconds stretched on for ages as his old man got closer and closer, and Ryuji’s heart hammered in his chest like it was trying to break out and escape. Finally, another voice called out, pulling his old man’s attention away from them. One of his aunts had appeared long enough to drag her drunken brother away before he could embarrass the family any further.

A few seconds after they disappeared from view, Ryuji untangled himself and lurched out of his hiding spot. He dusted himself off after sprawling out clumsily in the dirt, then checked himself over; kinda dusty, a few scratches on his face from the whippy little branches he’d run though, and… Crap.

“Aww man, I lost one of my mittens. I only just got those for Christmas,” he grumbled.

“We can look for it on the way back to the shrine.” His mystery rescuer had apparently just clambered out of their hiding spot too. Ryuji was ready to wave them off and tell them to not worry about it, but when he finally got a good look at them it was like every word he’d ever learned went on their own vacation.

“Whoa… Are you an angel or somethin’?” He blurted instead. This kid definitely looked like an angel, with a pretty round face almost as soft as the wild black curls around it and grey eyes that looked like nighttime--stars and all under the moonlight--that were almost too big for their face. Way too pretty to be a boy, especially with eyelashes like flower petals and a voice as soft and sweet as a music box. Yeah, probably an angel, definitely a girl. Only seven years old and Ryuji had already found his soulmate. Hiding in a shrub. Wearing a Buchimaru hat.

Mystery girl blushed and giggled behind a matching Buchimaru glove. “No, I’m just Akira. Akira Kurusu, first grade. What does your mitten look like?” Huh, never met a girl named Akira.

“Uh, like this? It’s a yellow Featherman one.” He held up the hand that still had a mitten on, then awkwardly thrust it out for a handshake. “A-and I’m Ryuji Sakamoto, also in first grade! Nice to meetcha, Kicchan!” Akira took the handshake with a small, shy smile, blushing bright enough that she almost matched the red jacket she was wrapped up in.

“Um. Nice to meet you too, Ryuji.” She thought for a moment, then moved around to his side and took his other hand in both of hers, warm even through the gloves. It was his turn to blush. “Here, so your hand doesn’t get cold while we look for your mitten.” Akira pulled him along and he needed a minute to remember how to walk so he didn’t fall over. She seemed to have things handled guiding them back out.

“You came from this way, right?” She looked back and tipped her head towards a hole through the undergrowth where his father had crashed through. Ryuji nodded and she pulled him along a little more insistently, scanning the path for any flash of yellow.

“Thanks for savin’ me, by the way. Kinda thought I was doomed back there.” Ryuji scratched the back of his neck. Kicchan shrugged but didn’t pause their trek or her search for his mitten.

“You needed help. I had a hiding spot. Figured I could share,” she explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Like every adult he’d run past hadn’t ignored him.

Ryuji nodded anyways. It was them who got it wrong, not Akira. “Right. Why were you hidin’ anyways?” Something in his stomach twisted at the thought of her running away from a dad as shitty as his. His fingers tightened around her hand just a little; he was gonna protect her twice as hard if that was the case.

Kicchan picked up a flash of yellow sticking out from under a pile of dead leaves, then frowned when it turned out to be a hamburger wrapper. “Don’t lemme forget to throw this away,” she crumpled it up and stuck it in her pocket. “I was back here ‘cause the shrine was too loud. I come back here sometimes when I need quiet. Then I heard someone yelling and stomping around, so I hid. And then you ran by.” She turned back and smiled at him and wow. People talked about getting butterflies in your stomach around someone you liked, but he was pretty sure he had Mothra rampaging around in his gut. “Oh!”

“Huh?” Ryuji was dragged along as Akira jogged up to a tree that he’d whipped around hoping to shake the old man off. Then she reached up for-- “Oh! My mitten!” It had gotten stuck to the bark somehow when he’d pushed off of it. Akira pulled it down and presented it to Ryuji with a flourish and a grin.

He took it and quickly crammed his hand back into it, then wiggled and flexed his fingers until it sat right again. After several minutes of not having a hand in it, the mitten had gone cold. And his fingers felt even colder not wrapped up with Akira’s.

“Hey, uh Kicchan? C-could we still hold hands?” He asked. “Um! J-just so I don’t lose you and get lost! That’s all!”

Kicchan giggled again, just as red as her coat again as she held her hand out for him. “Sure thing, Ryuji.” One reassuring squeeze later and they were walking again. “But we aren’t very far now, you can hear all the people from here.”

Ryuji strained his ears listening, then chuckled nervously because she was right. “Oh. You can, huh? W-well, still. Better safe than sorry.” They swung their hands between them for a few steps. “Hey, is it okay that I’m callin’ you Kicchan? You’re just callin’ me Ryuji, I ain’t bein’ rude am I?”

“Hm? No, it’s fine. I, um. Like it,” she mumbled and tucked her face into her coat. “Your name’s just nice to say is all. Ry~u~ji~♪!” Akira enunciated his name in a singsong that probably would’ve sounded mocking from anyone else. But from her it just sounded like music. He couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up in his chest and the grin that broke out across his face.

“Yeah, well. Yours is nicer!” Ryuji declared loudly as they walked out of the trees and through the crowd of adults still celebrating. “A~ki~ra~♪!” He sang back, although not nearly as nice. Kicchan still seemed happy with it, if that smile was anything to go by. Like the sun breaking through the clouds and wow. Wow. He was gonna marry her when he grew up. Ryuji didn’t even care about all the people staring at them as they walked by, as long as he got to keep that smile.

“Ry~u~ji~♪!”

“A~ki~ra~♪!”

“Ry~u~ji~♪!”

“A~ki~ra~♪!”

“Ryuji!” The two of them jumped at the voice that rang out behind them. “Ryuji, there you are!”

“Mom!”

His mother skidded to a stop in front of them and threw her arms around him, squeezing him tight. “Oh, I was so worried, sunshine, I’m so sorry. Are you alright? Did he--?”

Ryuji wiggled free of her grip long enough to loop his free arm around her and return the hug. He brushed a hand lightly over a bruise above her eyebrow that hadn’t been there earlier, and she shook her hair over her eyes to try and cover it back up. That bastard. No need to worry her, then. “I’m fine, mom. I’m fast as lightnin’ remember? Plus my new friend saved me! We hid until Aunt Manaka got him.” Hana’s eyes flicked back to the kid holding onto her son’s hand, now trying to hide behind him. “‘S okay, Kicchan, it’s just my mom. She’s nice.”

Akira had tucked herself down into her shoulders and her voice was muffled through the collar of her coat. “H’lo. I’m Akira.”

Hana smiled warmly at Akira and held out a hand for her to shake. “Hello, Akira-chan, my name’s Hana Sakamoto. Thank you for taking care of my boy.” Kicchan took it cautiously, but stayed tucked behind a Ryuji who was awkwardly pretzeled from still trying to hold onto both of them.

“Y’r welcome. He’s nice, I like him,” Akira mumbled and took her hand back to cling to Ryuji’s arm with both. Ryuji blushed again and his mom grinned at him.

She straightened up and ruffled her son’s hair affectionately. “I like him, too. He’s a good kid. And so are you, Akira-chan. How ‘bout I treat you two to some cocoa and taiyaki to warm back up, and then we can find your folks too, kiddo.” Akira nodded and pointed to a nearby storefront that was still lit up. “Perfect! So I know red bean is Ryuji’s favorite, how about you?”

Akira was being quiet enough that even Ryuji, already at her level, still had to listen hard to hear her. “Chocolate, please.” There was no way his mom could hear her.

“Chocolate for Kicchan, please!” Ryuji relayed for them.

Hana nodded approvingly. “Chocolate and hot cocoa, I like your style.” She took Ryuji’s other hand and led them through the crowd to the convenience store taking full advantage of the New Year’s revelers. Ryuji and Akira stayed outside, still holding hands and leaned up against the wall while she went in. Better that than drag the kids through a bunch of unsteady adults bickering over snacks. She returned with a hot cocoa and a taiyaki for each of them after a few minutes and Ryuji and Akira finally, hesitantly let go of each other long enough to eat.

“Th’nk you,” Akira mumbled.

“Kicchan says thanks!”

“Just Kicchan, huh?” His mom teased.

“Wh- I do too!”

Hana laughed, then craned her neck to look through the thinning crowd. “So where are your parents--”

“Akira! Akira, there you are!” A woman with dark curls and grey eyes called out, striding through the crowd like a fish moving through water.

Kicchan straightened up and waved with her half-eaten taiyaki. “Hi mama!” She called louder than Ryuji thought she was capable of. “Where’s papa? I wanted him to meet my new friend.”

The woman, apparently Mrs. Kurusu, frowned that Adults Having Adult Problems frown. “He got called into work, apparently the man who was supposed to be on shift is indisposed,” she explained in the kind of tone that folks tended to use about his old man. “So we need to get going soon.”

“Awww.”

“I know, dear.” Akira’s mom turned to Ryuji’s mom. “Thank you for watching my son. Can I at least pay you back for the snacks?” She gestured to the three of them--wait, hold up, what?

“Your son?!” Ryuji yelped. Akira tilted her--his head at Ryuji in confusion.

“Yeah? What, did you think I was a girl or something?” He giggled, and it didn’t sound any different than before. But it was. But it wasn’t.

“Uh, yeah! Boys ain’t allowed to be that pretty! It’s illegal! You gotta like, go to Pretty Jail or somethin’!” Ryuji shouted and pointed an accusing mitten at him. Akira was still laughing at him, still smiling that smile that was still making his stomach all flippy. Their moms were laughing at him too; Ryuji’s loud and shameless in a way he hadn’t heard in a while, Akira’s in a soft way that just made Akira make more sense.

“That’s okay. I’ll just break out,” Akira shrugged, then looked up at his mother. “Can my friend stay the night? He’s really nice. And so is Sakamoto-san.”

Ryuji bounced on his toes a few times. “Oh! Can I?” Okay, so Akira was a boy. That just meant they could hang out more instead. Maybe he hadn’t met his soulmate in a shrub, maybe he wasn’t gonna marry Akira someday, but he could definitely go for a sleepover.

“I don’t think…” Kurusu-san started, but her eyes caught on Hana’s forehead and she hesitated. Their moms seemed to have one of those ‘Grownups Having A Whole Conversation Without Talking’ looks before she started talking again. “Actually, that sounds like a lovely idea, honey. You boys look to be about the same size. You can share one of your extra sets of pajamas,” she said more to Akira than anyone else. “And Sakamoto-san can come over for tea while your father’s at work. I could use the company.” The last bit was aimed at Ryuji’s mom with a smile, but the tone felt like when he was being told to do his chores. Don’t argue with me, it’s for your own good.

Hana smiled tiredly, then nodded and sighed. “Alright, alright, I know when I’m outvoted. I’ll follow you,” she said to Kurusu-san.

“Woohoo!” Ryuji pumped his fist and grabbed at Akira’s shoulder. “We’re gonna stay up all night watching Featherman!”

The other boy nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah! I got the whole box set for Christmas!”

“Sweet!”

Hana interjected with a hand on Ryuji’s shoulder to slow his bouncing, “boys, it is well past midnight, I’d be surprised if you didn’t fall asleep as soon as you’re in pajamas.”

Ryuji pouted up at her. “I ain’t ti--” he paused as he was overwhelmed by a yawn that almost popped his jaw, “--ired, I’ll be fine.”

Akira fell into step with his mother, then froze and whipped around to Ryuji. “Wait! I didn’t make my wish yet! We gotta make a wish at the shrine!”

His hand was ridiculously warm as it wrapped around Ryuji’s, probably from holding the cocoa that he’d hastily dropped in the trash. Before Ryuji could react, Kicchan had grabbed him and was dragging him back in the direction they’d come from.

“Akira!” Kurusu-san called sharply.

“BerightbackIpromise!” He called back to his mom as Ryuji stumbled along with him. They came to a clumsy stop in front of the offertory box and Akira started rifling through his pockets. He frowned at the crumpled burger wrapper he’d meant to throw away, crammed it back into a different pocket, then pulled out two five-hundred yen coins. “One for me and one for you,” he announced proudly and pressed one of them into the palm of Ryuji’s mitten. Rather than argue that he could pay for his own, because honestly he had no idea if he could, he nodded and closed his hand around the gift.

Ryuji watched Akira carefully, then did his best to copy his movements. He hadn’t really done this before without his mom to remind him how, but he knew exactly what he was gonna wish for. Marrying him was definitely probably off the table, but...

I wanna see Kicchan again after we leave.

A few minutes later, they were jogging back to where their moms were waiting for them.

“So, what’d you two wish for?” Hana asked and waggled her eyebrows at Ryuji.

Both boys blushed, looked at each other, and then quickly looked away before falling into step to leave. Their mumbled answers tangled together as they spoke at the same time.

“S-same as always, I guess.”

“‘S a secret.”

Ryuji hoped they wished for the same thing.

---

Three years later his mother divorced that deadbeat asshole, after advice from a stranger to save up behind the drunken bastard’s back, and the help of a lawyer named Kurusu. They had never had time before or a reason after to go back to that little town in the country.

---

Ryuji was running, feet pounding against the concrete hard enough to rattle his teeth, cold air sharp against his face, knee aching for a break as the shout echoed off the nearby buildings.

“Dammit! Screw that pervy teacher!”

“...pervy teacher?”

Ryuji whipped around to the voice behind him, already on the defensive. “What do you want? You plannin’ on rattin’ me out to Kamo… shi… da?”

He couldn’t help but trail off because he knew that face, nerd glasses or no; wild curls like storm clouds, grey eyes almost too big for the face they were set in, voice a hell of a lot deeper after nearly a decade but just as soft, and built in a lanky way that probably hadn’t been mistaken for a girl in years.

“Kicchan? The hell are you doing here?” Ryuji blinked a few times and watched Akira’s posture melt from tense apprehension to open surprise. Then he smiled like sunlight breaking through the clouds and wow. After all those years, there was Mothra in his stomach again. He had been putting off that particular revelation for a while, hadn’t he?

“Ryuji!”

#my writing #persona 5 #pegoryu week 2021 #pegoryu #the return of hana san!#uhh don't let the warning tags throw you off it is actually very sweet

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tilliwriteapine · 5 years ago

Text

The Power of Sacrifice

Okay *cracks knuckles*

I’ve had a few months to dwell on this. I think I’ll say something. Of course, I realize I am A: not a popular person in the Star Wars/Reylo fandoms, and B: not trying to change any minds. I just want to say my peace, considering the tags can be overwhelming with negativity. And that’s soul-crushing when you get hyped for a new fandom and it is basically a dumpster fire from the first day. And I have entered plenty of fandoms. Some nicely, some rather unceremoniously, others – regretfully. I’m also not looking for an argument – respectful discussion absolutely encouraged! Don’t go attacking others – and stop abusing the anon function!

I personally love, love, love The Rise of Skywalker. Does it have a shit ton of faults? Oh boy, does it ever. I’m probably still in the anger stage of the five stages of grief, but at the same time, I also have entered acceptance. (And that is only because the fanfiction and artwork post-TROS has been mind-blowingly amazing and wonderful and I cannot get enough of it!!!! I’m itching to get my brain and fingers to write my own!)

Because I love TROS, and honestly the entire sequel trilogy, I have to say something.

I’m deeply sad that the story ended the way it did. The movie as a stand-alone suffers greatly from missing details. I wish they would have just let it be three hours long, giving us a complete story. The last Hunger Games book, the last Harry Potter book, the last Twilight book all were split into two movies to tell the full story. I get why DLF did it in one – trilogy – but they should have had the respect to tell the story to its fullest extent. And from what I have seen of the comics and books, including tie-in novelization, there is so much more content to be gleaned from other sources OTHER than the movie – and that is disappointing. Don’t get me wrong, that sounds very much like a Disney move – money, anyone? But many will not get into the comics or buy the novelization or other books. It ruins what the story should be telling us. We got a disjointed film that paid poor regards to all the actors and every character.

I loved Adam Driver’s portrayal of Ben Solo. It was the most honest, gut-wrenching portrayal I have ever watched (and I’m a Spirk lover on the Trek side of the Stars, also directed by JJ Abrams… sigh). Adam brought everything to a character that has a horrific backstory, and I sob thinking of the pain and anguish of a fictional character. And I now have a newfound love for The Last Jedi when I long didn’t understand it (thank you tumblr for opening my eyes). Adam did a fucking fantastic job for what it is worth. How the writers/director handled Kylo Ren, and ultimately Ben Solo? Poorly. Adam deserved so much better than – THAT!

I think we can all agree we had hoped for something different for Ben. Anything but death. I hate death (and yet I’m A: addicted to it, and B: work with it enough because I’m an oncology nurse certified in hospice and palliative care) and Ben deserved far better treatment. Words would have been nice! (I know Adam is more into the non-verbal talent of acting, but ugh his voice is mesmerizing). A different kind of redemption – atonement for the things Kylo Ren did in terrorizing the galaxy, of finding himself again as Ben Solo, the last living Skywalker who had a chance to change the future of the disastrous history of the Skywalker legacy. An actual relationship with Rey. Oh, and maybe not killing the literal last Skywalker – when the movie is named The Rise of Skywalker. I love you, Rey, but even the Palpatine bit was an awful plot device (she is Rey Nobody, thank you very much. That’s a whole other post about the Palpatine BS…)

But as much as I had hoped for so much more – I’m still okay with Ben Solo’s death. Not in the I’m gonna stop crying everyday kind of okay, but the kind of reassurance that I see where the writers/director went with it and acknowledge the type of redemption and atonement that we got in Ben’s death. Many will argue that death doesn’t serve the purpose of redemption or atonement – and I don’t disagree. And of course, I wish Ben had been able to defeat the raging mental beast that kept him from believing he was loved and could have an actual future – but sometimes we don’t all get that far. As someone who has personally dealt with mental illness for about ten years now, on medication for at least seven of those years, and having been at the brink of suicide in my darkest times (just under five years ago), I get the swirling darkness and difficulty of climbing up out of the mental pit. What does this have to do with me being okay with the ending we were given for Ben Solo? There is SO MUCH that goes into climbing out of that mental pit that plot wise, the writers/director totally didn’t want to deal with it. Which is a fucking cop-out if I have EVER seen one (again, give us a three-hour movie!!! Problem solved -_-). But story wise, it makes sense in avoiding the mental follow-through Ben would need to achieve success post-Exegol, post-war. That excuses nothing – but I get it.

It wasn’t a senseless death in any regard. Many are calling it that, but I disagree that is was senseless. Ben gave his everything to give Rey life. He understood that the galaxy needed her more than it needed him – little lost Ben Solo, a past ravaged by pain, fear, regret, and death. Even in a happy future of long-term atonement and actually having a relationship with Rey, the galaxy deserved Rey more than Ben. That is not a narrative I necessarily agree with – but it is somewhat Ben’s point of view. Again, mentally, Ben had a lot he needed to struggle through – and in a moment when all hope was literally lost (Rey was dead), he took the power of life and death into his own literal hands.

Rey had shown him compassion and love in a moment of pure hatred when she attempted to kill him (and everyone is up in arms about that, but again, another whole post that isn’t this one), giving him back his life. And even with the novelization saying Rey tried to give him everything of herself, it was evident in the movie that Rey regretted the act of trying to kill him and softly whispered her confession I did want to take you hand… Ben’s hand. Remembering what she had done for him, Ben had nothing left to give her in a time of absolute anguish. Rey was dead. Except – he had himself. A boy ravaged by abuse, lies, and feeling utterly lost in a galaxy that feared him, further pushing him into the persona that became Kylo Ren. Ben Solo returned to being himself, freely himself (without the Kylo Ren mask) in time to realize Rey needed him more than anything else in the entire galaxy. So, he ran to her – literally ran, fought off the Knights of Ren, and came to stand with her against Palpatine. And then when she, with his strength and the mass of Jedi before her, defeated Palpatine, he felt her death and the galaxy stopped being real. No one was around to save them. It was Ben – barely alive – and Rey – dead. He did the one thing he had left to offer – himself.

It wasn’t a senseless death. Ben gave her himself. All of his love, hope, strength, courage, and joy. Dying for someone else is never senseless. The greatest thing in life we could ever aspire to is giving up ourselves for someone else. As a Christian, I believe deeply that giving yourself for someone else is the highest act of love and compassion, because Christ did that for me and for you by dying on the cross. Of course, giving yourself for someone else doesn’t always mean dying – but that’s a pretty huge way of showing your love and devotion for someone. Ben died for Rey – and he didn’t regret it. If he could do just one last act of love – it was to give Rey life in exchange of his own. The ultimate sacrifice. While the Force isn’t the exact metaphor for Christ/the Holy Spirit, it certainly vibes in a way that sparks that same feeling of spirituality and the fight between good and evil.

Every time I listen to the song “Faith” by Jordan Feliz, these lyrics remind me of Ben standing with Rey: Remember your rescue is standing beside you. He comes to her rescue, and then gives her his all. The very last breath within him was for her – it had always been her.

Of course, none of this takes into the fact that a Dyad in the Force is basically the ultimate soulmate connection and with Ben’s death, Rey is left with a literal gaping wound that will never heal. Yeah, that’s fun to – to think about… HELLA DEPRESSING.

Ben didn’t die in vain. For all the issues TROS has (more than just this post can describe), I will boldly defend Ben Solo’s act of selflessness for Rey Nobody. It isn’t the first time I have fallen in love with a character that turns themselves around and tackles scary shit head on. Eugene Fitzherbert gave his life for Rapunzel (Tangled). Kirk gave his life for Spock (Star Trek Into Darkness) and vice versa (The Wrath of Khan). Richard Maxwell tried getting himself killed for the right reasons (touchy subject, lol) (Adventures in Odyssey). Laurent gave himself up to spare Damen’s life, which almost cost Laurent his own head (The Captive Prince). Horatio Caine hunted down his wife’s murderer (CSI:Miami). Of course not all of these deal with redemption (Eugene and Richard have redemption arcs), but Ben Solo can safely tuck himself into my long list of loves for sacrifices made in the face of great peril and hopeless odds.

And honestly, WHY DIDN’T BEN SOLO BECOME A FORCE GHOST?!!! I think I’m most angry about that!

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alphaflyer · 5 years ago

Text

Meme (with corrections)

I was tagged by the lovely @cloud--atlas. And so I copied her piece, with the intention of inserting my own answers. But there were a couple of places I overlooked, leaving her answers in place... OOPS. I fixed one before people read the post but didn’t notice another, so I just decided to delete the original and repost the corrected version. APOLOGIES!!

AO3 name: AlphaFlyer

Fandoms:

The Avengers (Marvel Movies) (59)

Marvel Cinematic Universe (49)

Star Trek: Voyager (30)

Hawkeye (Comics) (10)

The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types (8)

Captain America (Movies) (7)

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV) (5)

James Bond (Craig movies) (4)

Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies) (3)

Thor (Movies) (2)

Black Widow (Comics) (1)

Ant-Man (Movies) (1)

Avengers (Comics) (1)

Note that most of these (like James Bond, Agents of SHIELD) tend to be crossovers with MCU.

Number of fics published:

AO3 tells me it’s 101, but “Moments” has like 32 distinct fic in it, so it’s more like 132.

Fic I spent the most time on:

Do long periods of inactivity allowing it to simmer in your subconscious count? That would be my two-season MarvelBang, “Seventh Crow”, which I started in the spring of 2015 and finished in the fall of 2016, mostly because of an intervening transatlantic move and family issues, resulting in resolute inability to write. Until my friend Inkvoices made me a fanvid, based on what she knew about the story, and sent it to me for Christmas.

Fic I spent the least time on:

That would be a tie between Savile Row and Five Times SHIELD Tried to Recruit Clint Barton. The first I cranked out over an evening, based on a tag game on LJ; the latter I wrote longhand in a boat while my husband and daughter were fishing, and then typed out/edited it in the evening.

Longest fic:

The top 5 spots are all taken up by Star Trek:Voyager fic, with #1 going to Off the Shoulder of Orion with a word count of 78,804. That was around the time when I started posting chapters before having finished a story, a gamble that ended up backfiring when I ran out of steam on “Proof of Life” (FFN only, so I won’t link to it here.)

Shortest fic:

Among the fic posted on their own, rather than in my Moments collection, that’s a tie between 3 Five-Plus-One fics, in all of which the individual segments are drabble length at 100 words each. The only difference between the three is the length of the author’s note, otherwise they’re exactly 600 words apiece.

Most hits:

Second Mouse, with 38,678 hits (unless you include FFN, where Skies Over Manhattan comes in at 49,169 - but that site counts individual chapter hits. “Skies” is second on AO3 with 23,579).

Most kudos:

Skies Over Manhattan, with 899. (Yo, Folks, can we get that to 900 plsntx.. :P)

Most comment threads:

Moments, at 253 (This is my 32-chapter ficlet collection, so people tend to comment on each chapter as it comes out). For a single story that came out all at once, it’s that energizer bunny MarvelBang, Second Mouse, with 103.

Most bookmarks:

Runaway winner is Skies Over Manhattan, with 330. Followed by Second Mouse with 208. Five Times SHIELD Tried to Recruit Clint Barton, In The Service and Double Deuce are in a virtual tie for third with 137, 136 and 135.

Total word count:

According to AO3, 980,381. Whoops. Seriously???

Favourite fic I wrote:

Oh, man. I hate that question. I'm really pleased with how Second Mouse turned out - nothing but good memories from my collaboration with Inkvoices who illustrated it; also pleased with the sequels and the reception it got from readers. And @hawksandspiders just did a detailed analysis of it on her DW account, which was totally thrilling and made me even prouder of it.

Another little one I’m quite fond of is my Voyager piece “Grace”, because of the rhythm and cadence I used to convey the sense of urgency in the story (a lot fewer people read it...).

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on:

Whoops - so an earlier version of this post left in a clip from @cloud--atlas‘ original post that I cut and pasted... No, I did NOT write “Red Star” although it’s one of the few threesome fics I genuinely like! Here’s my answer:

“Choices”. My very first fanfic ever. First ever attempt at writing, in fact. It’s a post-ST Voyager Endgame thing, detailing what happens to the crew (specifically Tom Paris but others as well) when they come home. It still holds up content-wise, but the dialogue is clunky in parts and the paragraphing atrocious. I haven’t had the guts to go back in and fix it, because it is my Firstborn and we need to own our mistakes and show how we’ve grown as writers somehow (also it’s in the top-5 Voyager stories on FFN in terms of “favourite” pings as it is, so it should probably be allowed to stand on its own). But whenever I look at it, I cringe a little at how much better it could be.

Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on:

Three words: Clint and Flerken. I keep rewriting that one though, so I’m not sure when it will see the light of day...

Also waiting for my @be-compromised “Remix” assignment!

#fic meme #fixing mistakes

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quinncidentallytoo · 7 years ago

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MATCH 😉😉 QUINN&RACHEL

WHEN: Day 91

WHO: Quinn & Rachel

WHAT: Quinn and Rachel are matched and they discuss family, vegetarianism, and Q’s youtube channel.

Rachel

Day 91 - Still searching, still wishing swipe left was an option on this app. Though if swiping right was an option, I’d certainly be doing that right now. You’re beautiful.

Quinn

Please. There are a lot of beautiful women on this app. I think it takes more than a pretty face to keep you interested.

Rachel

Which is why I’m still around after all these weeks. Hi, Quinn. I’m Rachel.

Quinn

That makes two of us. So tell me, Rachel, what keeps you busy when you’re not thinking of ways to improve the app?

Rachel

Hmm, well that depends on which Rachel you’re looking to get to know. Professional Rachel, or all work and no play makes Rachel a dull girl…

Quinn

Why don’t you give me a quick breakdown of both so I can make a more informed decision.

Rachel

I’m a business owner and then I’m a boarder. Which would you like to know more about?

Quinn

I don’t know. Are the two related?

Rachel

No, I do not own a skate or surf shop.

Quinn

Well now I’m intrigued, what kind of shop do you own?

Rachel

It’s a little of this and a little of that – our products are always changing and rotating – but always a celebration of the Bay Area. Have you ever heard of ApotheBerry?

Quinn

It sounds vaguely familiar.Is that you?

Rachel

Mhmm. We’re over on Haight. And vaguely familiar isn’t what I like to hear at all. We like to be known and remembered.

Quinn

Well, maybe I’ll have to come check you out sometime. Make it stick.

Rachel

But what about you? Tit for tat, Quinn.

Quinn

I am a content creator. Which is my attempt at making youtuber sound impressive. Did it work?

Rachel

I suppose so in the sense that I had no idea what a content creator was, but it did sound powerful. What type of Youtuber are you? I don’t really watch unless I’m catching up on some clip from a talk show that is apparently a MUST SEE. Which really for me just means Carpool Karaoke. But there’s a number of my staff that watch and follow bloggers that do makeup tutorials and…is called unboxing? I think that’s correct. I had actually matched with another user that did those sort of videos and…I think it’s called hauls? Either way, she recorded in the shop.

Quinn

Hauls are great publicity. Well, I mean, assuming she’s got a high follower base in SanFran. Still, kind of cool. My stuff’s more comedy/lifestyle stuff. I do a lot of Q&A’s, talk about LGBTQ+ issues…It’s whatever I’m inspired to do and the fans are asking for.

Rachel

Do you have a high follower base in SanFran? And what’s your url thingy?

Quinn

My url thingy? Quinncidentally.

Rachel

Thank you.If I stop responding it’s because I find your on air persona either a) irritating, b) fake, c) off-putting, or d) all of the above.

Quinn

But no pressure, right? Suddenly questioning every video I’ve ever uploaded onto my channel. [ after a few hours.] So….That bad, huh?I knew I should have erased that rap video from the internet.

Rachel

What? [ a pause ] Oh. No. My sincerest apologies. I’ve perhaps just slowly been perusing my way through your videography.

Quinn

Oh. It’s just after your warning I thought…Did my SanFran fan base just grow?

Rachel

Again, I apologize, though I’ll admit I’m quite amused that you apparently hold the opinion of a relative stranger in such high regard. And perhaps.

Quinn

I’m an internet personality, Rachel. My livelihood depends on strangers with an internet connection. So what do you think?

Rachel

I enjoyed your candidness during your Q&A videos. You didn’t translate as fake one bit.

Quinn

You strike me as the sort who isn’t easily impressed, so I’ll take that as a compliment. Way better content than haul girl, right? It’s okay, you can say it. It’ll be our secret.

Rachel

That’s some excellent gut instinct, Quinn. And different content, so it would be like apples and oranges. And she did record a video in my shop and it’s a glowing review, so that content? Not sure you can top that quite yet.

Quinn

I guess I’ll just have to up my game. You said you board, right? Maybe you could teach me?The internet loves to watch me fall on my ass.

Rachel

I do. Surf, skate, and every now and then I’ll trek out to the mountains and decide to test my balance and core strength in the snow. And do they? Did I just happen to miss that particular selection of videos?

Quinn

I’m just assuming.Then again, maybe it would be the instructor that catches their attention.

Rachel

Oh? Have I caught your attention, Quinn?

Quinn

Maybe. I’m definitely interested to know more

Rachel

I’m an only child, an early riser, and a vegetarian. 70% of the time I’d rather spend a night in than going out, or if I do go out, I’d prefer to spend my time in an intimate setting with a small group of friends. I love watermelon, take my coffee black, practice yoga, and please disregard that I buried the lead, but as Mary Poppins would say, I’m practically perfect in every way.

Quinn

You’re a vegetarian?

Rachel

That’s literally the only tidbit in which you’re going to comment? [ a beat ] Yes, I’m a veggie.

Quinn

I’m from the south. Even after all these years in SanFran it still takes me by surprise. I’m a homebody myself so I can appreciate your desire to stay in. Most of my outings are work-related or with my dog.

Rachel

What does that mean? The South? And you’re dog is quite handsome.Truly the real star of your show.

Quinn

It means I’m from South Carolina. Not that my parents are cousins. And he is, I know.What can I say? Gil really knows where his light is.

Rachel-

So you’re not just from the South, but also the East Coast. What brought you to the city?

Quinn

Is that like two strikes in your book? Honestly? I came for school but the being on the opposite coast of my parents was also a huge motivator.

Rachel

You don’t get along with your family?

Quinn

I like my sister? My parents are pretty conservative. It is what it is.

Rachel

Is that a question or a statement? So how do they feel about your chosen profession? And the topics you cover?

Quinn

A statement. She’s good people. Oh man. That’s a loaded question. We don’t really talk about it, but it’s that sort of silence that speaks louder than words ever could. But the first ever video I made and posted to the internet was me coming out to my parents. So I guess in a way I owe my career to them. Which they would hate, so it’s sort of strangely satisfying.

Rachel

Just one sibling then? Older? Younger? I don’t think I watched that one since I was going in reverse chronological order, but I suppose it’s a ‘must see.’ [ a long beat ] My mom’s one of my best friends.

Quinn

Just the one, yeah. Older. Nah, you can skip it. At this point, it’s kind of embarrassing. My content quality has seriously improved over the years.That’s kind of awesome, Rachel. You’re lucky.What’s she like?

Rachel

You telling me I should skip only makes me believe I really should check it out, if not just to witness whatever confidence you possessed to come out in that fashion. And I think so, yes. She’s beautiful and talented. If I hadn’t come into her life I think she’d be a star. Instead she trains them now.

Quinn

I wouldn’t say confidence so much as stupidity? I kind of e-mailed them the link and then turned off my phone for a couple of days. When I turned it back on… I realized it wasn’t just my parents who were responding to the video. I think she probably got the better end of that deal. And I think if she’s as cool as you make her sound, she’d probably agree with me on that.

Rachel

Definitely need to watch this video. And are you sure you have me that pegged after just a brief conversation?

Quinn

If you do stop responding after that, I’ll understand. My only defense is that I was young. And I don’t know.Call me cautiously optimistic.

#log: 01 #wink: rachel

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im2tired4usernames · 7 years ago

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was tagged by @golurkkoopa

LAST:

Last Drink:

Tea

Last Phone Call:

endocrinologist still getting used to my pump

Last Text Message: (I’m counting IM)

my friend olive

Last Song You Listened:

god damn it to hell Thomas the tank engine has been own all day and they keep playing some song about being " down by the dockside"

Last Time I Cried:

last night or early this morning

HAVE YOU EVER:

Dated Someone Twice:

that is databatable

Been Cheated On:

yes

Kissed Someone and Regretted It:

I didnt kiss him I said no and stop but he didnt care or liestion

Lost Someone Special:

yes very important people in my life

Been Depressed:

Who hasn’t in this economy

Been Drunk and Thrown Up:

nah I don’t and cant dink

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

Made a New Friend:

YES, the Vagaband and Birb bros <3<3<3

Fallen Out of Love:

Laughed Until You Cried:

YES

Met Someone Who Changed You:

yes but not for the best tbh

Found Out Who Your True Friends Were:

probably????

Found Out Someone Was Talking About You:

I mean??? I had a couple people on here post call out posts on why I'm problematic but other than that nah????

GENERAL:

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?:

Do you have any pets?:

1 cat named Kitca a Dog named Indiana Jones (indy) and a lone chicken survivor named Queen Fluffbutt nuggets

Do you want to change your name?:most likely no im slowly learning to grow into it

What time did you wake up this morning? :

1 am

What were you doing last night?:

babysitting :p

Name something you cannot wait for:

actually getting to hang out with my friends someday

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom:

Yes four and every one of them were kinda a dick

What’s getting on your nerves rn?:

currently just stupid drama going on right now

Blood type:

129 going down

Nickname:

pip???? I normally just go by linds

Status:

taken

Zodiac sign:

leo cusp virgo rising

pronouns:

she/they currently trying to figure that out

Favourite tv show:

dr who though I haven't kept up with it literally haven't watched a star trek series I've disliked yet though

High school:

homeschool

college:H

nah

hair color:

Black

Long or short:

it changes

Do you have a crush on someone:

Yeah,

What do you like about yourself:

im one hell of a baker and that's about it

Eating:

Nothing

Drinking:

tea

I’m about to:

do more laundary

Listening to:

my siblings fight over mario kart and the mariokart music

Waiting for:

the laundry to finish drying

Want kids:

Maybe I flip back and forth kinda been raising other people's kids since I was a little kid but having a lil family dose sound real nice

Get married:

yes very much so

Career:

animation I have stories I want to share with the world also voice acting and baking would be cool but mostly animation

FIRSTS:

First surgery:

golly I've had so many maybr my arm or guts dose oral surgery count?

First piercing:

ears

First best friend:

ree or julia

First sport you joined:

I was never put into sports

First vacation:

it was at a local lake I was maybe seven

First pair of sneakers:

who keeps track of that

WHICH IS BETTER:

Lips or eyes: eyes Hugs or kisses: Hugs are always welcome from friends but I wouldn't mind kisses from someone... Shorter or taller: Don’t care Older or younger: Don’t care Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic Sensitive or loud: I don't know what this means? Hook up or relationship: Relationship Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

Kissed a stranger: Nope Drank hard liquor: maybe like a curious sip to see what it taste like but it was gross so never again Lost glasses/contacts: Don’t need em Sex on first date: never im ace Broken someones heart: mmmm yes a couple times and I hate hate hate myself for it even if two of them kinda were scum suckers Been arrested: no but I've gotten kicked out of stores before Turned someone down: Yes, a lot actually I really hate it very much Fallen for a friend: Yes, a lot.

DO YOU BELIEVE:

In yourself:

nah

Miracles:

I really really really want to

Love at first sight:

not really

Heaven:

yes

Santa Claus:

not anymore stopped when I was twelve or thirteen my parents sat me down and told me it was all a lie and I've never been happy since

mmmm ima tag @bittersweet-mojo @chemical-hysteria @mindfulwrath

#long post/#personal/#tags

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iamartemisday · 8 years ago

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Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2- My Thoughts

I just saw Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.

First, let me just say I did not go in expecting much. The first movie is my least favorite of all the MCU films. I didn’t hate it, but I have a lot of issues with the characters and the storyline. The biggest thing is that I don’t like space adventure stories that much.

Like Star Wars vs. Star Trek? I say screw that. They both suck. (No offense to anyone who likes them, they’re just not my thing.) So Guardians of the Galaxy was always going to be difficult for me.

That being said, I loved this movie.

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

It fixed a lot of what I didn’t like about the first film. In Guardians of the Galaxy, I didn’t feel like the movie was trying to make me care about the characters. It was like they expected me to already care before I saw the movie. That might work with fans of the comics, but for someone like me who doesn’t read them, this was my first introduction to these characters. This was their origin story, and the point of an origin story is to make the characters in some way relatable before all the superhero shenanigans happened. Here they just skipped straight to the shenanigans. It was like watching a sequel to another movie that didn’t exist.

This time, I feel like they took the time to really establish the characters relationships in a way that was clear and natural. I cared about Gamora and Nebula, where in the first movie their whole rivalry thing felt tacked on and unnecessary. I cared about Yondu, where in the first movie he just seemed like a random comic relief jerk. That Yondu dies was the only spoiler I knew before seeing it, and I couldn’t understand why that was so heartbreaking for so many people because the first movie gave me no reason to care if he showed up at all, let alone had a big emotional dying moment of awesome. This movie fixed that issue completely. When he held Peter’s face and looked at him one final time like a proud father, it got me right in the gut.

Regarding the story, I like how self contained it was. Another problem I had with the first one is that it seemed more concerned with the larger MCU storyline than with the Guardians themselves. I understand needing to establish certain things for the benefit of an overarching plot, but not at the expense of the story you’re supposed to be telling now. The story of Guardians of the Galaxy was so thin I can’t even remember it right now.

I think there was an infinity stone. And a prison or something. Also the same copy paste space battle from the last twenty space adventure movies. Also pretty colors. Also seventies music.

String all of that together, and that’s the first Guardians of the Galaxy.

This time, it was like they finally had the space to focus on these characters, and they did a lot with that space. Far more than I expected. Enough that I can honestly say I would go see it a second time just to experience on the big screen one more time. I think this is how space adventure fans feel and it almost makes me sad that I can’t enjoy it as much.

Now lets get to the big one. The thing that REALLY put this movie over the top for me.

The biggest weakness of Guardians of the Galaxy one managed to be this movie’s biggest strength: the villain. Most of the time, I can’t remember Ronan the Accuser’s name. That’s how little an impact he made. I keep calling him Ronan the Destroyer. I guess I’m mixing him up with the robot from Thor 1. I will not have the same problem with Ego. I will always remember his name. I wouldn’t say he’s the deepest or most complex villain ever, but he is definitely one of the more interesting we’ve seen in the MCU.

Also I hate him. On a personal level, I hate him with every fiber of my being. But that’s good! Sort of…

Here’s the thing: I don’t know if they mentioned it in the first movie (if they did I probably forgot or missed it), but I didn’t know Peter’s mom died of brain cancer. If you’ve followed me for a long time, you might’ve seen one of the memorial posts I’ve made for my dad over the years. He died of brain cancer when I was nine. Not much older than Peter. I saw a lot of what he probably saw. I walked in on my dad having seizures more than once. He was lucky his mom was coherent at the end. My dad was basically a vegetable in his final days. The last time I saw him, I don’t know if he even recognized me.

That made the big twist at the end all the more of a gut punch for me. Ego gave her the brain tumor that killed her. Peter’s reaction of shooting the hell out of him and beating him to within an inch of his life later on wasn’t just a literal action to me. It felt somewhat metaphorical, like Ego had just become the cancer, and Peter was not only defeating a villain, but also the very cancer that killed his mother. Again, that’s just based on my own experiences, but I couldn’t help wanting to cheer when the revelation broke Peter out of Ego’s influence and then he went guns akimbo on the bastard.

Also I like that the movie confirmed what I’ve always suspected: Stan Lee is God.

#Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2 #anti-first film #I guess #Guardians of the Galaxy #Artemis reviews a thing

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cloudsaysthings-archive · 8 years ago

Text

tag

holy shit this is long. tagged by @walking-on-a-scream! thank ya!

answer all the questions, add a question of your own, and tag others!

1. Coke or Pepsi: pepsi

2. Disney or Dreamworks: Both? Both is good.

3. Coffee or tea: Coffee

4. Books or movies: Books. Unlike most people I don’t enjoy sitting for two hours watching a movie unless I’m really up for it.

5. Windows or Mac: Windows

6. DC or Marvel: Once again, both, both is good. I can never decide on this one.

7. Xbox or PlayStation: Xbox

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: Mass Effect, since I haven’t played Dragon Age.

9. Night Owl or Early Rise: Night owl.

10. Cards or Chess: Cards

11. Chocolate or vanilla: Both

12. Vans or Converse: Converse

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: After a quick google search... Trevelyan.

14. Fluff or Angst: Anyone who knows me knows I am an angst bomb.

15. There’s no 15 I guess

16. Dogs or Cats: AhhhhhHHHHHHHH both i cant choose

17. Clear skies or Rain: Depends on how I’m feeling, but most of the time it’s rain.

18. Cooking or eating out: Eating out.

19. Spicy food or Mild food: Mild.

20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice Yule/Christmas: Halloween.

21. Would you rather be forever a little too cold or a little too hot: It really depends on how cold or how hot “a little” is. I hate being cold and I hate being super hot, so I’d have to go with a little too cold because If I’m too hot, I get super fucking nauseous and it isn’t fun.

22. If you could have a super power, what would it be: Teleportation. Scientifically, it would be better than flying because I can constantly teleport in one place to give the illusion that I’m flying.

23. Animation or live action: Both

24. Paragon or Renegade: Paragon

25. Bath or Showers: Shower

26. Team Cap or Team Iron Man: Team Cap

27. Fantasy or Sci-fi: Sci-fi, but I really like fantasy too.

28. Do you have 3 or 4 favorite quotes? If so what are they? I have too many quotes to compile in one post.

29. YouTube or Netflix: YouTube

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: Harry Potter

31. When do you feel accomplished: When I help someone or actually complete something productive.

32. Star Wars or Star Trek: Star Wars

33. Paperback books or Hardback books: Hardback

34. Handwriting or Typing: Typing. Too much writing regularly strains my hand and I have horrible handwriting, plus I type super fast.

35. Velvet or Satin: Velvet

36. Video games or Movies: Once again, not a big fan of movies. Video games all the way.

37. Would you rather be a dragon or own a dragon. I would rather own a dragon.

38. Sunrise or sunset: Both, but I like sunrises just a bit more because it gives the chance of the sky looking absolutely fuckin beautiful.

39. What’s your favorite song: Right now, it’s Graves by Whiskey Shivers.

40. Horror movies, yes or no: Nah. Not a big fan.

41. Long hair or short hair: Short

42. Opera or theater: Theater.

43. Assuming the multiverse theory is true and that every story ever told has really happened somewhere, which one of the movie/book/TV show/game etc worlds would you pick to travel first: Probably the Star Wars universe or the Red vs Blue/Halo universe.

44. If you only had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? Grilled Cheese. Never get tired of that.

45. Older guys or younger guys: i cant really answer that?? 0 experience

46. If you could erase any show from history, what would it be: Bunsen is a Beast, definitely. Bring back Fairly Odd Parents and go back to their old stuff.

47. Singing or dancing: I’m horrible at dancing, so singing. And I’m somewhat decent at singing.

48. Instagram or Twitter: Instagram

49. Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit: I’ve watched neither but aren’t they same thing or?? am i mistaken??

50. If you could create either or a sequel or bring back any TV show/movie what would you choose: FAIRLY ODD PARENTS

51. Who is your favorite movie/TV show character that you are looking up to and why: Jyn Erso because I wish I had the guts to actually act upon things like she did in Rogue One.

52. If you were ever convicted of a crime, what would it be: Either homicide or killing some child abuser/anyone who doesn’t get the sentence they should

53. Anime- subbed or dubbed: I don’t watch anime, so I can’t answer that.

54. City or countryside: I grew up in the city, but I’m more of a country guy myself.

55. What book have you read over and over: I’m not one to reread books, but when I was a kid I reread this Christmas book called The Twelve Bugs of Christmas over and over again.

56. What is your personality type: God, I took it once but I don’t remember.

57. Would you rather change a moment in time or have a glimpse into the future: Change a moment because there are definitely many things I have fucked up that I would rather not have to remember.

58, my own question: A simple one. what is your favorite color? Cyan.

Tagging: @vkm11

#tagged for me #thanks for the tag!#walking-on-a-scream

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