#you are not whatever job you pick
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furiousgoldfish · 5 months ago
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How do I decide a career field?
I mean my entire self esteem, self worth and self confidence is destroyed. I hate myself. I don’t think I’m capable of doing anything. I like art, even though it’s very hard for me to do I’m pushing myself to explore as much as I can. I am thinking of going into data analysis but it’s so overwhelmingly scary for me.
I have an MD, but i can’t pursue it because of my mental health issues.
Okay so I might not be the best person to talk about this, because I figured out that career just isn't important to me when I'm just trying to survive, so I don't think any field is worth chasing or putting effort into, for me at least! Job is just something that gives you the means to get survival resources and that is it.
Otherwise I really relate to what you're saying, I also don't feel like I'd be good at any field, don't feel like I'm made for anything and can't see myself doing anything specialized seriously. It's also very difficult to choose a field when you've never gotten to try bunch of things, never had experience doing stuff and you don't really know what you'd enjoy, what you like, or at least what doesn't feel too stressful, overwhelming and impossible.
It's incredibly impressive that you have a MD, that alone signifies great endurance, persistence and intelligence on your part, and it's awful that mental health issues prevent you from doing anything related to it (I feel the same tho, my degree is in the closet, never seen or used at all lol)
I think the best way to decide is to talk to people who work in various fields and ask them what their day-to-day work is like, and figure out where you see yourself, where you fall in easily, or at least what seems doable, not too stressful, not overwhelming. What doesn't make you hate yourself. I'm just doing cleaning but I couldn't be more pleased because it's very obvious when I've done well and it's so low stakes that pretty much nothing can go wrong. Nobody ever complains either. In fact yesterday I got a text message from a client saying I did amazing, I mean that kind of stuff is ideal to my mental state.
I think we're raised to believe that our career needs to be something very significant, something that creates a place for us in the world, the proof that we're useful to society and that we made something out of ourselves! We need to show off our success and our identity needs to be tied to what we do. And we need to be good at it and make a difference in the world with it.
Well in the current capitalistic climate, this is bullshit. The only socially useful jobs are the ones which get no recognition, no social acceptance, no praise, no acknowledgment, in fact you're looked down upon if you just do manual jobs that are incredibly necessary to keep the society going.
The jobs where you can reach high success and high paycheck - are the ones that make rich people richer, and that is not what I'm about. I mean it's not what anyone really wants to do, but it's the only thing that is considered successful and admirable, and I hate it, don't want to participate in it, makes me want to run away from capitalism.
And also it's a myth that you need to be really good at your job because people do bad jobs constantly and get paid and they don't feel bad at all, lots are bad on purpose and use their jobs to do evil, and get away with it, so there's no pressure to be perfect at your job. If it gets done thats all that matters.
So if you can find anything that just fulfills the purpose of getting your survival resources to you, go for it. If you feel like data analysis is what makes you pleased and happy, go for that. If art makes you feel good, you can do that too! You don't have to have only one job, you can change jobs multiple times during your life, it doesn't need to define who you are, you are not here to serve the society, you're here to survive and you can do your job for yourself only. It's supposed to serve you, not the other way around. You don't exist only to do your job. You exist to be safe, and happy, and fulfilled, and safe. A job is supposed to do this for you, and it doesn't matter which one, as long as you're not being tormented by stress and fear, it's fine.
So what I'm trying to say, the world should not pressure you into making a quick decision, you should take your time trying out stuff and finding what works for you, and what doesn't make you feel awful about yourself. And also if it helps, everyone has a sort of a low confidence when only starting! Everyone is bad at everything when they're starting. Confidence will come with experience, when you see yourself getting better at something trough the years, you will get a chance to gather some faith in yourself and know you're doing well. You can follow any interest you have, regardless of how well or bad you're at it, as long as it can secure you some income. It's okay to be bad at first too because everyone is kinda bad at first.
Also, I've seen some people incredibly confident in their work while doing an awful job at it, it was pretty scary. Like they were doing active harm to society and didn't understand how anything actually worked but boasted about how capable they are because they were picking up a high paycheck. When I think there's people like that, and then others are worried about not being good at anything, it makes me stunned. I truly believe that no matter what you do, you'll never do as much harm as some high-paid people out there.
I hope you don't have a horrible time deciding anon! It's a difficult spot in life for anyone, so don't worry if it takes a bit of time or if you choose something and then quit, it just brings you a step closer to what you actually like doing, and it's a good thing to try things out and pick out the one that works best for you.
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turtleblogatlast · 4 months ago
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Something I really like is that April’s constant stream of odd jobs she goes through is somewhat reflected in the boys as well. Like, you have April working at random pizza places or getting a crane license or being fully willing to apply for a job at a place clearly made out of cardboard. Then you have the boys as well who do anything from working as a basketball mascot, building a massive dog park, being waiters, getting a whole band gig at a theme park, etc, etc-
Main difference is that April actively applies for these jobs (and is hopefully paid for the short time she’s in them) whereas for the bros the jobs usually find them (and they practically never get paid.) It doesn’t even stop at jobs either, they just seem to casually amass skills in general.
I don’t know, I like how both April and the turtles are just so ready and willing to do things. Sure, they’re not always good at these things, but they do them readily! In a way, being heroes is just another job (well, more like volunteer work/vigilantism/another fun activity) that they initially took on because of their general sense of “why not?”
They’re very willing and open to trying out new things despite their tendency to revert back to what they enjoy (and how commonly trying new things ends up going wrong), and I think that adaptational interest of theirs really helps them be well rounded in multiple regards.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#like not even just jobs these characters just like to go out and do things!#even if they’re initially not interested they’re so curious and stuff that they’ll do it anyway#I wonder if April being as curious and incredibly open minded as she is rubbed off on the boys growing up#and they like…osmosis’d this personality trait from her to be like ‘yeah sure whatever’ to any antic#I also just think that they’re bored teenagers with a TON of time on their hands so they like to just live it up#I think the boys always had the desire to go out and apply themselves but meeting April likely pushed them more#y’know I wonder#what if April narrowed down just one job when in college and she actually managed to keep it#like…almost as a form of growth - she narrowed down jobs and careers and schooling as she hit early adulthood?#it’s kinda reflected in raph as well - originally so open and for goofing off but now much more singularly focused on hero stuff#kinda a sad way to look at growing up but it works here#because you have the three younger sibs still readily doing other things#not as focused on responsibility or singular paths#it’s sad because adulthood absolutely does not mean not being open to other things#but at that time in your life sometimes there’s a pressure and unwanted responsibility to pick a path y’know?#and it’s a relief to learn that actually there was never just one set path with one set trail you always had to stay on#and I think that’s reflected in how raph at the end of the movie opens back up to playing around and doing things for the fun of it
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aroaceleovaldez · 7 months ago
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actually in hindsight why did Rick repeatedly have Piper solve all the ghost problems on the Argo II when. Hazel was right there. A daughter of Pluto. who by all logic should be able to control ghosts even a little bit. like, we know she has at least some of those types of powers. she just never gets to actually practically use them. ever. and then when there are zombies Hazel once again. does not get to use her powers about it. what.
#pjo#riordanverse#hazel levesque#does hazel EVER use necromancy powers? besides *maybe* a little bit when working for gaea to raise giants?#though that was pretty explicitly mostly geokinesis#where is hazel's necromancy cmon#but like. ''oh no people are getting possessed. i know! PIPER! FIX THE PROBLEM WITH YOUR CHARMSPEAK''#''rather than oh i dont know HAZEL. THE PERSON WITH GHOST POWERS DIRECTLY NEXT TO ME.''#heck Hazel is very familiar with people being possessed. her mother was for. awhile.#why not just have hazel go ''hm yup. that's possession if i've ever seen it. hold on i've got this'' and then she uses pluto powers#you cant even use the excuse ''oh but she wouldn't know how to-''#she's been hanging out with her brother Nico ''Ghost King'' di Angelo for what. eight? ten months? something like that?#and one of her major things is that she's pretty good at picking things up quickly and has highly honed her powers#you're telling me nico never told her ''btw just in case: if you ever need to exorcise a ghost from someone just idk smack 'em''#like why is the exorcising ghosts piper's job#and why with the zombie apocalypse was it like ''oh no we can't do anything until apollo comes over to help us or whatever''#''if only we had a CENTURION WITH NECROMANCY POWERS. like a CHILD OF PLUTO OR SOMETHING''#''WHOSE BROTHER VERY FAMOUSLY GOT A ZOMBIE AS A BIRTHDAY GIFT''#and its like. yes hazel does ultimately play a significant role in stopping the zombie problem#but functionally COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO HER POWERS?
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xreanimatedcorpse · 1 month ago
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Doodle so i can move on.. sorry Esprit I’ll get back to you…
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Anyways. This is why I think ravens might fit,,, traveling in pairs like partners? Quarrelsome, but devotion to their families? It feels very Esprit de Corps.
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thepersonperson · 5 months ago
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Backstory theory for Sukuna? I wanted to say Kenjaku and Tengen too but let's just stick with Sukuna for the sake of your sanity
(Written as of JJK 262 using TCB scans and raws. Click images for captions/citations. I want to see how poorly or well this ages.)
I already kind of went into how I think Sukuna’s birth occured answering this ask, and we know for a fact he was born as an unwanted little wretch. But that's not really a full backstory. I was a conjoined twin truther before the reveal so I'm definitely deranged confident enough to propose something.
What is Sukuna's deal anyways?
When I say Sukuna and Gojo are twin flames, I'm referring to how their internal logic and their narrative framing are very similar. For this reason, I believe how they respond to trauma is also similar.
Much of early JJK is a different reread knowing Gojo's specific trauma. His use of the childish Boku as his personal pronoun, his obsession with sweets, having Infinity on all the time, his avoidant attachment style, and his fierce desire to ensure teens enjoy their youth...all these little trauma-induced quirks hidden in plain sight, sometimes as humor, are now depressing reminders of what Gojo went through. You also start to see how paranoid he is about another Toji incident with how he treats Miguel and Hanami...
Sukuna's backstory has probably been set up in the exact same way. It's likely that most of Sukuna's actions and attitude are influenced by some unrevealed/hinted at trauma. Since he and Gojo are twin flames, I'll try to piece it together using Gojo as the blueprint.
Sukuna's Way of Speaking
In the same way Gojo's manner of speaking is unusual for his age, Sukuna speaks really weird even compared to other incarnated sorcerers. If you're not aware, Japanese pronouns do not carry gender, but they do indicate how the speaker views themself and the person they're talking to. (This wiki summary table is quite helpful for this sort of thing.)
Sukuna's personal pronoun is 俺 (Ore) which is very informal, rough, and masculine. And he uses お前 (Omae) as the you pronoun for others which is either a casual thing amongst peers or indicates the speaker's higher status. (It's probably the later given how arrogant Sukuna is.) These are also the same pronouns Yuji uses for himself and others. But because of his personality, we can infer that Yuji uses Ore because he's a sporty boy from the countryside and Omae because he's friendly and views everyone as equals. Same pronouns, but completely different characterizations that get lost in translation.
Sukuna also uses 貴様 (Kisama) as the you pronoun for Gojo. Historically, this was a formal way to show respect and then it evolved into an ironic hostile insult sort of thing, much more rude than Omae. Since Sukuna is 1,000 years old, uses Omae for Yuji, who he hates, we can reasonably assume him using Kisama for Gojo is the formal version. (This would be another very funny instance of Gojo thinking Sukuna hates him but he’s actually trying to be nice.)
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All of Sukuna's pronoun usage combined with his personality suggests a very tough and rude individual, which he is. However that rough speaking style is exactly why his frequent use of flowery language, double entendre, clever wordplay, art references, and puns is bizarre.
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The weird way in which Sukuna uses words is most known by how he speaks to Megumi during their fight at the detention center. (I'm paraphrasing all this person's translation work for this.)
Sukuna uses the phrase "misetemiro" which is commonly translated as "show me/show me what you’ve got". The caveat here is that the "mi" of "misetemiro" can be written as 見 or 魅. When using 見, translating as "show me" is most accurate. When using 魅? The better translation is "bewitch me/enchant me/charm me/fascinate me".
Sukuna, of course, uses 魅, which means he's saying "enchant me" when he uses "misetemiro". It should be noted that this exact phrasing is used for Mahoraga before it cuts off Gojo's arm. (This is apparently what what Sukuna finds to be enchanting. Violence against Gojo Satoru.)
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The thing is, Megumi heard Sukuna say "misetemiro", so he likely assumed the common meaning "show me". This is either a case unintentional misunderstanding or Sukuna making his true feelings dubious. That in of itself is the best example of the double-meaning wordplay Sukuna gets up to.
Sukuna seems to be really fond of puns in particular (very old man of him). He calls Yuji 小僧 (kozō) which can be translated as brat, but it also means young/novice monk.
He also uses extremely outdated words. (An example of which was provided by this user.)
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You have all of these conflicting speaking mannerisms balled up into one character. It's as if a gangster/ruffian majored in Literature Arts. And that’s precisely why I think he was of low status at birth.
Sukuna's Upbringing
We all know Gojo's Limitless Cursed Technique (CT) is a literal and metaphorical barrier between him and other people. His technique is his isolation. And how it developed informs us directly of how his interpersonal relationships changed with it.
Back when Gojo only had Blue and Infinity had to be manual, it meant that he had downtimes where he was vulnerable. That physical vulnerability doubled as emotional vulnerability and Gojo was able to form a close relationship with Geto and befriend Shoko. After he awakened, Infinity could be on nonstop. Gojo became untouchable to everyone at all times and it destroyed his relationships.
In the same way Gojo's CT compliments his changes from child to adult, I believe Sukuna's CT does the same.
As we all know by now, Sukuna's Shrine or 御厨子 (mizushi) could be referring to a Buddhist shrine used for storage or a imperial palace kitchen. I think it’s both at the same time. To me Sukuna's CT indicates he initially cooked for the emperor and then became an object of worship at a shrine. But I have some additional caveats to this theory.
We know that Sukuna learns by mimicking others. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say he picked up on formalities while being near nobility if he was of low birth. But how did a lowborn like Sukuna get near nobility in the first place?
So historical Japan had a social caste system called Ritsuryō (you can read more about its application in the Heian Era here). The upper class was called Ryōmin (good citizens) and the lower class was called Senmin (low citizens). Amongst the lower class there are the following subcastes:
Ryōko (dedicated to the imperial family or guards of imperial tombs)
Kanko (dedicated to public ministries)
Kenin (servants of high-ranking families)
Kunuhi (slaves of the court)
Shinuhi (slaves of families)
I think Sukuna was a Kunuhi or court slave during his time as an imperial cook. That would give him access to the higher art forms directly or by listening in while also explaining why his speech appears to be a mesh of two completely different backgrounds. (If he were of noble birth, his personal pronoun would likely be Watashi, Waga, or even Ware-Ware like most snobby upper class characters in Japanese media.)
Another trait of the slave class is their forbiddance from having a registered family name. Both Sukuna and Uraume use full names as a show of respect. The fact they only use single names for each other suggests that they have no family names at all and fall under this low class category.
The other thing to note about this caste system is that class mobility in both directions was possible. To what extent I'm not sure (there’s not a lot of in depth literature in English), but this would allow for Sukuna to rise from a lowborn status and fall back to it as the Disgraced One.
In summary:
Sukuna is born and branded an undesirable. (Some of his tattoos match up with markings for both criminals and outcasts. Particularly the single band around the wrist labeled Hinin, a term that translates to non-human used for the lowest social class.)
Sukuna is taken into slavery where his talents start to show. (Durable, 4 limbs, and quick learning make for great labor exploitation.)
Sukuna, as a slave, eventually finds himself working in the kitchen for the emperor where he meets Uraume, who is there under similar circumstances. (Heian nobles were fascinated by commoner life and sometimes took peasants into the palace for entertainment/exploitation. Please read this entire thread on Heian commoner life it’s very good.)
They rise through the ranks together because of hypercompetence.
Eventually Sukuna becomes so strong that he becomes an involuntary saint/warrior monk. (Heian nobles mobilized monks for rituals and maintaining power.)
The court nobles start a smear campaign out of fear of his power and lowly upbringing, which causes Sukuna to have his Joker moment and start eating people. (Based on the mythological Sukuna stories.)
Sukuna's Theoretical Coping Mechanisms
After Gojo endured the fallout from Toji and Geto, he developed coping mechanisms to deal with it. They're all quite unhealthy to be frank—Gojo is very stuck in the past and seems to be in a near-constant state of trying to relive it, but better.
Those traits were all initially introduced as gags. It all made Gojo appear like a very strange, childish, and questionable adult. In retrospect it's all tragic. So with that in mind, I want to examine some of Sukuna's traits that could be a manifestation of past trauma.
It goes without saying that being a slave is traumatic. And the coping mechanisms developed to deal with that level of dehumanization don't go away if someone escapes it.
Sukuna's extreme aversion to being told what to do and self-centeredness reminds me of the ex-slave character, Izutsumi from Dungeon Meshi. She starts out as a slave paraded around as a circus freak after being experimented on before she's sold to a wealthy clan and forced to be a retainer. A curse is placed on her to keep her from escaping in the form of a tattoo around her neck. When she finally frees herself, she is very cat-like in her selfishness, poorly socialized, and abrasive. (Also she is canonically aroace!)
If you noticed, her personality sounds like a description of Sukuna's, so I'm left thinking he has some variation of that backstory (kind of like a combination of Toji and Geto's). It would fit with him being an unwanted child, explain his bizarre manner of speech, and give him a pretty good reason to be the way that he is.
In the same way Gojo used Hanami to relive his trauma but control the outcome, I think Sukuna uses Binding Vows relive and conquer his enslavement. The vows he constantly makes and breaks with himself are a show of control over thing that hurt him.
When binding vows are first introduced, it's by Sukuna and with chains. In the anime the chains constrict Sukuna until they destroy him.
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This imagery is rather oppressive in nature. Similar to a prisoner's chains or a slave's chains. (And it's quite common for prisoners to be used for slave labor too.)
I've previously discussed how I view Kenjaku as someone who exists through nonconsent and causes others to relive their trauma. Gojo's sealing illustrates how this kind of manipulation works. And since Gojo's twin flame is Sukuna, I believe Kenjaku did something similar to him.
We've already established how much Sukuna hates taking orders from people and how much he wants to fight Gojo. Everything he has done for the past 6 months was for Gojo. And guess who stops him from obtaining what he desires? Kenjaku through a binding vow.
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Sukuna also calls Yuji an 檻 (ori) which can be translated as cage. The type of "cage" ori can refer to is either one for animals or for criminals. Kenjaku pretty much created Yuji to contain Sukuna in this manner.
So we have 2 forms of restriction encroach on Sukuna's boundaries in a way that would be reminiscent of slavery. If Sukuna and Uraume are former slaves, their treatment of Kenjaku and each other makes sense.
With Uraume, Sukuna is gentle and reassuring. He faces towards them when speaking and will initiate conversations, going out of his way to praise their work. This seems a bit out of character given how harshly Sukuna treats others, even those he respects.
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Uraume is constantly apologizing to Sukuna in a way that suggests in the past they were punished severely for the slightest mess up. Given their relationship and how little Sukuna cares when they're not perfect, I don't think Sukuna was the one to make Uraume feel this way. If they're ex-slaves, this constant groveling would read as trauma response, and Sukuna's reassurance would be him showing consideration for someone who went through something similar.
With Kenjaku, Sukuna never makes eye contact, often has his back turned, and only responds when spoken to. Uraume is constantly pissed at Kenjaku's presence and tries to keep the two separate as much as possible.
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Whatever binding vow Kenjaku has wrapped Sukuna in is clearly upsetting to the both of them. I imagine those were the tools used to subjugate people within the Jujutsu hierarchy. Wait I don't need speculate on that point, Yuta already did this for me when he was forced to execute Yuji via a binding vow with the higher ups.
And you know who else might have suffered the exact same way? Uro.
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And boy is Uro strikingly similar to Sukuna, enough for Yuta to notice. She had no name, was groomed into being a weapon by nobles, discarded after being used, and is now someone who toys with sorcerers as she tries to become her own person while scorning bonds/love.
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And if you recall, Sukuna obliterated the Fujiwara Subjugation Clan and Uro isn't really mad at him for that.
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Not just Uro, but Ryu is similar to Sukuna as well in his hunger and seeing others as meals to satisfy him.
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These parallels seem deliberate and may hint of how Sukuna was treated in the past and what his true motivations are. Uro seeing the incarnation as a chance at a second life as her own person is probably how Sukuna feels. But you know. Both of them are beholden to Kenjaku so that “freedom” came with a steep price.
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What separates Uro and Ryu from Sukuna is that they acknowledge exactly why they're here. They reflect on their old lives and take action to address their problems. Sukuna seems to be in some kind of state of denial.
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I have no doubt Sukuna is serious when his ideals don't go beyond himself. What's troubling is how unaware of why he feels this way. He won't even acknowledge his hunger for an equal which is obvious to everyone else. He also doesn't seem to know why he incarnated, dodging Kashimo’s question on it entirely. It reminds me of Gojo, who despite being blatantly motivated by Geto and Toji, never shows it except in fleeting instances. And those instances are either internal or deliberately vague to whoever is hearing it.
I think this is because acknowledging he experienced weakness at one point in his life is admitting that he can be put in a position like that again. That can be a scary thing to confront. Gojo doesn't deal with the fact he can be made vulnerable and does everything in his power to prevent it while pretending nothing is wrong. Sukuna is doing the same thing when speaks of the past as briefly as possible and crushes anyone who might have power over him.
Uro herself kind of puts that motivating trauma in the back of her mind until Yuta's Fujiwara heritage and ideas trigger her. Not wanting to recall your life as a nameless slave and having it incidentally brought up by the phrase "live for others" kind of sounds like the beef Sukuna has with Yuji.
And imagine if Uro was trapped in Yuta’s body, where this lucky individual, born free, decides to become a Cog of his own volition. She would probably never stop hating him. (I think Sukuna is mad Yuji chose the life he escaped.)
This would also fit well with his initial view of heriarchies. As long as he's the strongest, he doesn't have to worry about becoming a slave again.
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And in a way, this is also him showing concern for Gojo. You’re this strong and letting these fudgers push you around? Kill them.
I also think that's why this Yuji quote is going to age poorly.
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I don't think Sukuna ever had the chance to live normally. This would also make this exchange really interesting.
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Sukuna suggesting he has suffered more than Yuji fascinates me. Of all the things that could possibly be worse than what Yuji went through, I think existing as a slave and being subject to discrimination since childhood would make for a pretty compelling case.
Rejecting Love as Cope
I’ve been on about how Sukuna hates on love as a cope in other posts. I think the former slave angle gives a little more weight to this idea, his poor social skills, and general aversion to other people.
Love is a type of tethering to another person. Sometimes it results in marriage, a legal contract that binds you to another with a myriad of social expectations. If Sukuna is a former slave, his aversion to that sort of thing is only natural. Relationships of anykind are a bond that comes with restrictions.
I keep bringing up Yorozu because analyzing the ways in which she upsets Sukuna is useful for understanding him. Sukuna is most dead-eyed when marriage comes up and he sees losing as the same thing as death. The common problem here is Yorozu’s desire to control Sukuna’s life.
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If you know anything about ex-slaves, it’s that they would rather die than go back to that.
Sukuna being the strongest means that no one can ever hold that kind of power over him again. And like Gojo, he believes human connections and love are a point of weakness that need to be discarded to obtain absolute strength. If Gojo is using that excuse to run away from others, Sukuna is using it too.
Despite rejecting all forms of love for the sake of self-preservation, Sukuna expresses cravings for it in very roundabout ways. Usually with how he mocks it.
Another puntastic bit of foreshadowing with Sukuna and Yuji’s binding vow, Enchain also doubles as a discussion about love.
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Here's a link to the full poem and context of it.
In summary, it’s about a soldier who is on the brink of death, having lost nearly everything after being abandoned by those in power, lamenting the happiest days of his life with his love are ones he can never get back. (Kind of sounds like how Sukuna ruins Yuji’s life.)
Sukuna canonically reads literature about love and he will use that knowledge to torment people. That’s pretty interesting for someone who hates it. There’s also the underlying theme of exploitation and discardment in this poem that reflects how Jujutsu Society treats sorcerers. And in both cases, the strength to survive and love can’t be had.
Sukuna calls Kashimo greedy for wanting both. But much much earlier Sukuna warns Yuji that there are consequences for being greedy.
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I really wonder why he believes that.
Jujutsu Society and Labor Exploitation
The other interesting thing about Izutsumi is how aimless she is after learning the modifications to her body are irreversible despite obtaining freedom. She simply doesn’t know what to do with this. And that makes sense. Grand ambitions take a backseat when all you know is surviving. Her development involves slowly learning how build relationships with others that aren’t exploitative and coping with the permanent changes to her body. And it only comes about because the people she finds herself with are other social weirdos who give her the space and time to change.
That’s what seems to be the problem with Sukuna. He doesn’t have a space within sorcerer or non-sorcerer society where he’ll be accepted and won’t be exploited. But I don’t need to tell you that, Nanami will.
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He’s miserable as a sorcerer or not. Might as well pick the one he is good at.
Later he recounts exactly what made him come back.
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And if you noticed, his listlessness after escaping Jujutsu and “I always thought that having a 'purpose in life' had nothing to do with me” is very similar to Sukuna’s boredom and “I'd never though about it. ...Ideals. Desires that go beyond oneself”.
It’s weird that Nanami and Sukuna have similar realizations about their place in society while arriving at completely different ways to deal with it. I think that’s intentional.
From an interview with Gege:
"If there was one thing worth mentioning, it's that no one has the ultimate truth. The “good guys” and the “bad guys”. Some seek to kill the hero out of pure selfishness, but others are led to this decision by logical reasoning. If no one is really right, then no one is wrong either. Each character is guided by their own ethics."
I've interpreted this quote as the author telling me to consider the characters as having similar motivations, but completely different methodologies and logic driving their actions. With that in mind, I have concluded the following:
Every single character that’s kind of insane has recognized the same problem. Japanese work culture sucks. It grinds you to dust, leaves you with no freetime, and even corrodes your identity under the guise of collectivism. “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.” is the go-to Japanese proverb to justify conformity to this suffering. Uro calls it out exactly.
Toji and Maki are beaten into place, used as scapegoats, and isolated by their families for being born wrong and staining the Zenin reputation by existing. Toji decided the solution was killing sorcerers and leaving Jujutsu society. Maki decided the solution was killing her family (she did nothing wrong) and building a better Jujutsu society with allies.
Geto, Nanami, and Gojo all broke from overwork that isolated them and never allowed them to grieve. Geto decided the solution was killing non-sorcerers and leaving Jujutsu society. Nanami decided the solution was leaving Jujutsu society and doing non-sorcerer work. Gojo decided the solution was reforming Jujutsu society and eventually killing the higher ups (based).
So despite all these different solutions, some of which are indefensible, I understand exactly why they became that way. They’re dealing with labor exploitations and dehumanization without the theoretical framework to be productive about it. (Gojo is the closest person to discovering what a union is.)
Geto snapped from a single traumatic event coupled with the knowledge that his labor would be exploited until he joined the mountain of sorcerers’ corpses. Though he was introduced as a mass murdering lunatic, there were always hints of how badly he wanted sorcerers to be free of exploitation. (Karl Marx could’ve saved him.)
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Sukuna experiencing the most egregious form of labor exploitation, slavery would fit into these themes nicely I think. It's the ultimate form of dehumanization—becoming a literal commodity for people to sell, trade, and break. (And him deciding to be this wild about it would be understandable to me at least because I truly believe in the John Brown solution for slaveowners.)
Sukuna is fond of Megumi, Maki, Gojo, and Jogo. Megumi was sold by his father to a clan, the Zenins tried to make Maki subservient for being female, Gojo was bossed around and run ragged by the higher ups, and Jogo was puppetted around by Kenjaku. All of these characters are powerful individuals that for one reason or another were shafted by societal constraints that had them exploited by others weaker than them. Since Sukuna likes people similar to him, it's not a stretch to assume he’s recognizing their hurt as his own.
And just like Geto, instead of abolishing the hierarchy that subjugated him, Sukuna has chosen to sit atop it to escape. But unlike Geto, Sukuna doesn't dream of a world where he enforces it. (The guy clearly hates having responsibilities and doesn't want to be a ruler. He just wants to do what he wants whenever he wants. You know, having freedom.)
Sukuna existed within a society where it was acceptable to own people if you were strong enough. The fact he treats Uraume, a voluntary servant, so well and refuses to keep slaves speaks volumes. Sukuna may live for himself but he clearly has some form of ethics about it.
Wait, what about Megumi’s subjugation?
Well, sometimes people are hypocrites. Nanami, Mr. Would’ve Loved Unions and outspoken labor critic, is content with pushing all the work onto Gojo, who has suffered in the exact same way he has.
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Maybe it’s resentment for his Gojo’s birth making curses stronger and therefore harder to deal with. Maybe he sees Gojo as everything wrong with Jujutsu and is lashing out. The point is, I don’t know why Nanami made the exception to his rules for Gojo and that’s why I’m clueless on where Megumi fits into this theory.
I’m not sure if Sukuna intends to keep Megumi as a puppet forever. For the sake of his own entertainment, he’ll probably release him after ingesting his final finger if Yuji can’t separate them first. And in a very twisted way, his treatment of Megumi could also be seen as a cruel training regiment. Sukuna thinks suffering and isolation brings strength. That’s how he’s justifying whatever happened to him.
But on the other hand, maybe he won’t. Because now Megumi has the blueprint for surpassing him. Defeat means being a slave again and Sukuna can’t have that.
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asleepinawell · 2 years ago
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EVEN THE GREAT LOUISOIX!!!!
Aurum Vale has emerged as the winner of everyone's least favorite ffxiv dungeon (see all the poll results here) and now it will face off against the infamous Praetorium
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so here it is: would you rather wipe in the first room and watch your teammates stubbornly stand in morbol breath attacks or sit through gaius' ten hour long speech yet again?
my personal opinion is that the ludicrous xp bonus for msq roulette should NOT be considered when choosing, but I can't stop you
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identitty-dickruption · 6 months ago
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the thing is. I understand why dyadic trans people cling to the "sex is biological + gender is social" dichotomy. it's a very comforting dichotomy for a lot of people! sex is something that feels natural and biological so it can take some really hard work to deconstruct it. whereas, if you continue to take sex for granted but separate it from gender, you gain this cool new way to explain your body and your experiences. like I said. that's super comforting for a lot of people
but unfortunately for anyone who might feel comforted by that dichotomy....... it is actually worth the hard work of dismantling and deconstructing. you're never going to be able to fight for real liberation by continuing to parrot the idea that sex is natural. you're going to keep on reinforcing intersexist (and often transphobic) ideas about the world unless you can really properly understand the ways that sex is just as social as gender
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stressedmonster101 · 11 months ago
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ok gen question abt tma.
why the archives. like girl archival is such a lame job. no fucking wonder you got a wet cat of an Archivist, someone who works in archival is inherently gonna be a wet cat. ask stupid questions (who wants to work in my archives?) get stupid answers (the most pathetic Special Little Boy to ever work at your institute)
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writeouswriter · 2 years ago
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Reading a fic that's so well written I wish I could close my eyes and just let the descriptions and atmosphere wash over me, but the dilemma with closing my eyes is, well, I then would not be able to continue reading this fic, now would I.
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andy-clutterbuck · 2 years ago
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get the man a fan ✨
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icewindandboringhorror · 6 months ago
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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risingsunresistance · 11 days ago
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my boss texting me at 1:30am (she works at 9am tomorrow) while im playing a mario game asking me if i can come in at 11am and then sending me this when i say yes might be the highlight of my week
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tbcanary · 2 months ago
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gonna preface this by saying i really love the current ongoing bop run and it is one of my favorite comics right now.
okay. with that out of the way i gotta say. it’s wild to try and have a birds of prey without oracle as the guy (feminine) in the chair. that’s the entire point of the operation. the lineup changes and the goals change but first and foremost the birds are the limbs that oracle uses to shape the world and make her vision reality. and to try and have the “birds of prey” when she isn’t in charge of it just feels so strange!
i do think there’s a way to recover this but i’m not happy about it being the situation to begin with because obviously it all comes back to editorial deciding that Babs is batgirl now, right, and regardless of what bop’s creative team may or may not want to do, that’s how it works. which is bad and irritating as hell with regards to continuing this run.
and like thompson has worked around it beautifully, don’t get me wrong, but at this point the team feels very disjointed and it needs. some kind of guiding hand. someone to direct them. in the first arc maps/meridian had all the answers and could point them in the right direction, and honestly, I thought that worked! it felt very birds-like. “go do this, i cannot tell you why or how” is exactly how the birds have always been directed.
and like idk i guess if babs has to stay batgirl (which. again. do not want.) then maybe we need to run with that. it might be kind of fun to see the mantle of ops director passed on to maps. let her be the guy (feminine) in the chair directing them to do things. it isn’t a perfect solution but it would feel a little more like a classic birds of prey dynamic than having everyone as a field agent making decisions on the fly.
this team works best when someone is behind the scenes holding all the cards, and the team members just have to trust that one person and follow them. that’s the core of it.
anyway. I’m just waving my hands around here. all things considered it’s a good run and I enjoy it but the Barbara Gordon Is Batgirl agenda continues to wreck my shit in a distinctly non-positive fashion.
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another weekend, another job rejection!
#and now no more positions are open to apply to! for now at least. some more will probably drop soon. fuck i hope so.#love just. being fucking unable to even make it into the interview phase for my extraordinarily lofty career goal#Of Working In A Fucking Library#just. so thrilled.#kazoo noises#anyway tomorrow morning i have to find a time to talk to my rabbis bc if i dont figure shit out i have to pick between becoming jewish or#graduating on time and i have fucking NO ONE i can talk to this about and ive used up like all of my good will in all of my personal#relationships already and i am So Fucking Sick of feeling mean and petty and evil all the time but my options are either fucking smile and#be noticeably fake optimistic when i get called on my bullshit or burn like all three of my last remaining bridges#i just dont see why i cant even make it to interviews. like i can accept not being the right fit or whatever. but like. it really kinda is#everyone but me whos employed by now.#man. like listen. its not my professors fault. i get that i've got her in a bad position.#but she said ''sometimes we have to pick between sources of joy'' like MAN--#do NOT speak to me about that. absolutely the FUCK not.#you! are employed and have been in this field for over a decade and i work in a grocery store with no sign of luck changing.#i need to be in this section bc 1) im not fucking doing academia with a gun pulled on me#2) i need to actually get some kind of professional experience since its clear i can't actually get a job on merit so i guess i will pay to#go further into debt#anyway no one is around to talk to me about this and i hate bitching to my friends about how fucking hopeless i feel all the fucking time s#everyone please look away from my diary posting and think of me as sexy and fun and bubbly <3333#like. its literally no ones fault so i should not be this fucking resentful.#and yet.#yeah im probably not getting classed as a good person for another several years. shame. ive always wanted to be good.#library travails
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theflyingfeeling · 6 months ago
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yes it's just me whining about the same thing for the billionth time, pls just scroll past nothing new to see here 👋
#i just want to enjoy the summer but i feel like i don't deserve to if i'm not constantly trying to become employed again 😭#''apply for jobs then? problem solved'' uh-huh yes but!! i also hate applying for jobs#job seeking can be so incredibly humiliating#first i have to send them a letter BEGGING to be invited to an interview#and then i have to try and convince them that i am actually competent and good at my job even though you have my cv right there#and then afterwards they call me to tell me they found someone who they liked better than me#(or rather someone who was more competent than me judging by their work history etc.)#it's like ''yes we are hiring but not YOU specifically lol''#like. at school if you take a test you get the grade you deserve based on how you did in the exam.#it's something you can actually directly affect yourself#but if someone who's applying for the same job with me has more work experience or whatever they will get hired over me no matter what i do#(at least that's how it usually works on my field)#in which case it doesn't matter if i do well in the interview or nah. bc the other person was always going to be picked for the job anyway#and yes one could say i can then be satisfied if i did my best but it's little consolation when i'm still unemployed!!#and so every time i apply for a job and get rejected it feels like a personal failure#and to avoid that feeling of failure i want to avoid applying for jobs altogether#so yeah. being active in job seeking is more likely to relieve me from this misery but job seeking is ALSO misery. so 🤷‍♀️#that on top of the fact i don't even _want_ to apply for all the open positions on my field#but i feel obliged to because it's what i have a degree on. and when i'm unemployed i don't have the luxury to choose which ones i apply fo#i can't afford to be picky#I DON'T DREAM OF LABOUR I JUST NEED MONEY TO LIVE BUT I ALSO DON'T WANT TO DO JUST ANY JOB! I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THAT!#i don't want to come home crying from work every day because i hate every single aspect of my life INCLUDING my job 😭#when this semester i actually HAD a job i didn't mind waking up to every morning 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair#to conclude i don't deserve to enjoy myself in the summer because i'm not doing enough to fix my unemployement situation#(just like i don't deserve to feel sad about being lonely because i don't work hard enough to maintain deep friendships#but that's a crisis for another day! stay tuned ✌️)
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rxttenfish · 3 months ago
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i absolutely cannot let myself get started on another fic until im at least onto chapter 5 of caecilian but the temptation to write something of aaravi taking miranda monster hunting and describing the entire EVERYTHING there is real
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#miravi.txt#mostly in the duality that is#what aaravi actually does as a monster slayer and the context that it exists within both in her own life and within the world#and with the fact that miranda doesnt actually sincerely identify as a monster nor care about that divide#to her this is landfolk on landfolk problems that merfolk have absolutely no involvement in#she only gets labelled a monster by landfolk who care about this and using criteria that wasnt made with merfolk in mind#and goes with it because really shes trying to do her job and serve an ambassador role and Whatever#its the same as her picking a gender basically at random. there wasnt a none of the above option that was offered nor applied#to her aaravi is basically a mercenary and thus her feelings are the same as a mercenary#shes not meaningfully different than anyone miranda already knows through bellanda#and aaravi has. complicated feelings about it.#aaravi has complicated feelings about all of this#miranda occupies a role like aaravi herself where she fails to fit into either side of a duality#but aaravi also has a rising guilt about her involvement that she has to explain to miranda in the first place#and all of this parallels miranda's role as princess too#about how little aaravi knows about her atrocities and what shes done and what it MEANS for her to be what she is#as someone who was never subjected to it and has no context for how bad it really is#theyre very much two sides of the same coin tbh#very alike each other but in opposite contexts#which tbh is part of why they work so well#its the combination of understanding and support and yet just enough challenge to stop them from buckling down harder#theyre able to call each other out because they know personally exactly whats happening in the others mind#which is also why i dont like ships that just wholeheartedly encourage aaravis whole everything without understanding whats going on#the same as why i hate ships and endings that have the other person just joining miranda as royalty#like. no. no these are not neutral endings here. you do not get to absolve anyones involvement here.
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