#night night <3< /div>
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Astorvember Day 10 - DEMON
I might be slightly deranged but I caught back up. Got some insane ideas for tomorrow that this scene is setting up for (hope I can pull it off). This is set shortly *after* Astor had his chat with Herod. So we should be back in chronological order now (fingers crossed)
But yeah, when I was walking around looking for a good place for Astor to grow up, I was really interested by Ordorac Quarry (mainly because it raises so many questions). Who mined the quarry? Why is it abandoned? All that jazz
So, maybe Sandwich Joe is right--maybe it was a demon. Or maybe it did have something to do with King Rhoam Bosphoramus Hyrule. Nobody knows for sure, which means that stories abound
(and yes, that sketchy figure in the bottom left is Astor. Had to throw him in there somewhere <3)
#astorvember#astor#astor aoc#my art#had to throw in some rhoam discourse in there somehow#all my homies hate rhoam#night night <3
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Good night to all my lovely friends, and good night Shanks, in whatever hammock you've fallen asleep in. I love you all 💙
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I guess I got so much stuff worked on last night that I'm pretty exhausted this evening. I'll get back to commission work on the morrow. T_T
#night night <3#i shouldn't be so hard on myself - nearly all of this is big group portrait stuff that takes time!#i have a ton done on most of these commissions but because nothing is COMPLETE yet i feel like i've not done anything#need to power through one or two to the end just to get a W for my brain!#personal
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my boss texting me at 1:30am (she works at 9am tomorrow) while im playing a mario game asking me if i can come in at 11am and then sending me this when i say yes might be the highlight of my week
#and before you start wondering i know people are all ''never work when you dont have to'' on here#but i actually like my job and also money and i literally asked to pick up hours#im not giving in or whatever i actually just like my job and coworkers jhfkfjk#well anyways im going to bed bc i guess i work tomorrow now#night night <3#chat
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i don't think i've ever posted one of these on this blog before?? so yes, the time has come for me to do it lol. you know the drill, hit the heart to have dean thrown your way. lengths & verses will vary !!
#i got some new followers so i figured now would be a good time to post a starter call :3#esp since i have so muuuuch muse#but so little time to write cries#will probably start working on these on thursday night or friday only btw#anyways gotta go get some sleep now#night night <3#(⛧) out of the impala. | ooc.
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hngfh saint campaign pebbles...
TW blood and mild robot gore under cut
A bit of info uuuuuuuh he can't feel that arm and doesn't have a lot of control over it but he's living ig
#rain world#five pebbles#saint#boyfriend recovery au#small pathetic man#blood#mild robot gore#idk I personally think it's mild since it's kinda just one part and it doesn't look that bad#idk I could just be desensitized to it#night night <3
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no intro for thiz post becauze i can't think of anything witty at the moment
"Housewife Radio" – Ghost and Pals and hv tony
"Stich, sew, cut, pull // Stich, sew, cut and pull" – could allude to how . back when tony waz younger . before all the bad thingz happened . it waz a repetitive but pleazant life ; a cycle whoz repetition meant that everything waz okay ; pastel colorz and bright lightz prezent everywhere
"Stich, sew, I tried // Stich, sew, you're alive" – the breaking of said cycle ; not only doez thiz kickstart a new era of the clockz life . but thiz iz also the moment where the separation between "tony" and "antoinette" iz made – they are not the same . one haz been expozed to horror and the bitterness of life . and the other iz still childishly going through the motionz . unaware of what real suffering iz ; "antoinette" iz gone and . though shez alwayz going to be a part of "tony" . "tony" will never be her again
"FM comes in different colors, I believe // In the sewing machine I've lost myself // Memories inside my heart are here to grieve // Color-coded by the love he gave to me" – how . gradually . "antoinette" became sort of lost – falling deeper into grief and internalizing the belief that therez nothing to live for anymore – unable to handle the deep sorrow that came from holding onto memoriez of someone that . despite being cared for immensely . perished anyway ; no experience in tonyz life will be truly hiz own . az he iz the product of all the teachingz of hiz long-gone brother
"Ah, his voice, it speaks to me from the radio" – i feel like thiz iz an important lyric to pick apart on itz own . az tony lookz for anything that might bring the memory of hiz brother back even for just a moment ; he findz himself often hearing hiz brotherz voice when otherz – particularly sketchbook – are speaking . and sometimez even hallucinatez him ; anything to bring him back ...
"Every day, it feels like seams are more than torn" – the mental decline that tony had when The Event happened . and how it cauzed him to spiral for yearz and yearz on end
"Buttoned patchwork, thread that's tied in knots // Hand-sew everything with kind intention" – how antoinette tried to be there for her brother az much az possible ; in being unable to save him from something that waz so clearly inevitable . hatred for oneself beginz to stir within
"Liquid soundwaves pour from my eyes // My heart cries out to you in desperation" – once again . antoinette begging for him to come back . breaking down completely and hoping that something will bring back the only guiding light in her life
"Unmistakably, he'll return alive // His colors out to show again" – the appearance of sketchbook in tonyz life – the return of that bright light that gave him hope and reazon to live ; they're exactly what he uzed to be – therez no way they're not when they fulfill the same role and act so similarly – tony iz convinced that thiz must be him again . albeit different
"Black and white // And black and white // And black and white // And black and white // No blue, no yellow, green or red // The radio only plays in..." – again . the cycle that tony went through – although thiz time . instead of being one where hez reminded of the fact hez safe and comfortable and nothing bad iz going to happen – itz the constant reminder that life iz bleak . that it will never get better . that he will never be truly back and that he failed to protect and care for him in the same way his brother did for antoinette ; no color and no light in thiz constant purgatory
#also totally becauze tony likez to sew . he likez sewing and doing housework#y'know . when hez not ...#y'know#like me – lazy and tired and unable to get out of bed without sobbing and just generally empty and exhausted no matter what#hez so real – everything IZ dull and honestly i also wish i could go into hiding for hundredz of yearz#anyway . yeah i did spend another 40 minutez typing thiz out instead of writing my fanfic or answering askz from people trying to help me#say “thank you spooky – your input iz useless and actually fuck you and i hope your friendz die again” and thingz of the such#becauze i swear to everything i still hold dear . i can't#i just can't#again . im dizzy and i feel like im gonna throw up and my head and my eyez hurt terribly and i just really want to break my skull open#whatever#bleehhh :pp#spooky's soliloquies#dhmis#dhmis au#high voltage au#dhmis tony#dhmis hv tony#i do wanna say that separating tony from antoinette not only helpz me like . work out timeline detailz better . but also helpz hiz character#like . i wanna say that he learnz to accept the fact that he waz antoinette . but now he izn't#he learnz to accept that life haz changed him and that itz not a bad thing – he should be proud of how far hez gotten . how much hez evolved#hez different . but that curious . naive young girl will alwayz be a part of him . and that itz a memory of the past that he should cherish#and that CHESTERZ DEATH WAZ INEVITABLE AND HE SHOULD STOP BLAMING HIMSELF FOR IT#ESPECIALLY THAT#okay i think im gonna go to bed and letz cross our fingerz and hope i will not wake up and have my dinner splurging from my throat#night night <3
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really really loved the family stuff in this ep. it was absolutely essential to tai’s journey and to getting a resolution that made any sense. up until the last moment i was fully expecting tai’s dad to come out as gay, but in retrospect i think it was really important for tai to see that the love between his parents WAS genuine romantic love, like he feels for patts, and that even though they’re separated now it doesn’t mean they’ve failed. tai needed to hear them say they wouldn’t change anything, that losing one kind of relationship doesn’t have to mean losing that person altogether, and that they’re no less soulmates now (i.e. there’s no less love there now) than they were before, that bond has just taken a different form. and now he can go and get patts back free from the fear that if it doesn’t last forever it can only end in misery
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oh whoops it's 2:30 am
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You ever just doze off without meaning to and then wake up with a big blank in your memory and feeling like your brain lagged or somethin? Yeah me neither *cough*
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don’t wanna but i gotta eep early cuz i have 2 wake up early tmr ;-;
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*curls up into a little ball and falls asleep*
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okay but frfr imma donk out <3
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i am now going to stop shitposting and go to sleep <3 farewell
(watch me go back on my words and proceed to reread manhuas until tmw morning surviving only on red bull and sheer willpower)
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