#you are a tenured professor

[spohkh]

my brit lit professor fully unironically literally definitely has ADHD and i am afeared for how this class is going to go. bc holy shit you cannot teach a class on the 18th century being that all over the place. please im begging you slow down. sit. sit down. why are we listening to a bob dylan song. stop writing random words on the whiteboard. stop interrupting students reading passages to go on a 15 minute rant. please please please for the love of god. why are we listening to bob dylan AGAIN.

[demonzoro]

none of this is proofread but here's my ideal modern au for the goth fam. wall of text incoming, sky is blue, etc.

mihawk: World's Most Reluctant College Professor. history/archaeology. reluctantly employed because his place of residence (half-wrecked castle) is owned by the university and one of the terms for him to live there for free is to teach classes. initially hired as a publicity stunt that petered out. actual respected swordsman in the modern age but the reality is "swordsman" is... not very lucrative. really important to me that he is forcibly employed while having gigantic unemployed energy.

his ass is not showing up to a lecture hall unless under extreme duress (shanks showing up to his place unannounced again🙄). fully aware his papers are only taken as a credit filler (robin lectures the papers that are more practically applicable). almost exclusively "teaches" by emailing out reading lists and assignments. actively trying to get his students to drop his paper so he can do fuck-all for the rest of the year.

zoro: phys ed major. he's so serious about his main courses as well as mihawk's stupidly niche paper. probably the first person the "Dracule Mihawk Teaches Here!" publicity stunt has worked on in years. has trouble with the heavy focus of book-smarts this paper requires but powers through it best he can until mihawk sets some indecipherable tome as part of a reading list and zoro is like. okay. you leave me no choice.

he fully shows up on mihawk's doorstep at 9:44PM on a tuesday night brandishing this tome. mihawk answers the door because he is two bottles into his wine.

zoro, furious that this piece of shit tome has no audiobook alternative: this. YOU. explain. NOW. mihawk: a student. at my doorstep. did shanks blab to you. zoro: your address is publicly listed as a minor tourist attraction. mihawk (<- didn't know that): hm. come in.

zoro is treated to a full drunk history session and the supermarket gift wine mihawk has been avoiding but accidentally opened. he wakes up the next morning and zoro is still there in one of the guest rooms. he's like what are you doing here and zoro is like. i don't have a whole day to waste getting back to my dorm i need to do your assignment.

mihawk, fully aware the dorms should only be a max twenty minute walk away: interesting. get out.

safe to say, zoro thinks visiting mihawk's home is easier than emailing him. which is true in some ways since mihawk takes small joys in putting unread emails straight into trash.

perona: fashion major OBVIOUSLY. really interested finding vintage/archival sewing patterns/designs and modernising them. LOVES using essays as outlets for her rants. blase on everything else in life but takes her course so seriously. HATES zoro ever since he almost made her fail an assignment because he had checked out a book she needed and held it for fucking aaages.

similarly zoro hates perona bc she almost made him fail an assignment by hogging the only lightbox on this side of the campus that makes it possible to read some of the archival material mihawk puts on his impossible reading lists.

zoro gets lost in mihawk's castle and meets perona in-person for the first time outside of a name on a booking sheet and they have a huge stupid argument. zoro storms off and accidentally finds mihawk again this way and he's doubly mad because he can't believe mihawk has been chasing him away all this time while letting another student just live in the east wing.

mihawk (<- didn't know that): there's a what.

turns out perona just said "umm dorm fees? rent? in this economy? there's a wrecked castle 20mins away from campus it's free real estate". and she's right. she also finds out mihawk has staff access to archival materials not readily open to students and she immediately whips out a wishlist.

anyways i imagine perona graduates and becomes a fashion designer. zoro decides booksmarts is not for him and drops out to focus fully on a professional athlete career or make his way as a stuntman. models for perona on occasion. mihawk fully quits his job after those two leave bc they were the only ones in years that made it interesting. retires but robin recommends him as a consultant to the museum society and he does some work there. ALWAYS calls zoro or perona if he's restoring smthng cool he thinks they would love.

jfc are you still here. i kiss you on the lips

[pathetic-gamer]

love Remedy's commitment to putting Alan in fun little outfits, but giving him a messenger bag and tweed suit is so fucking funny. bestie where r u going? what r u carrying? textbooks? joseph campbell's The Hero With a Thousand Faces? u have a lamp in there.

[cosmicnovaflare]

Exactly a month late to the 1 year anniversary. Shez and Byleth from Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes.

I’m going to be honest. I bought this game because the reveal trailer of the ex protagonist beating the crap out of the new protagonist for 10-12 chapters was hilarious. I have no regrets, this is by far my favourite warriors game.

[posallys]

i will NEVER not be pissed that most colleges cost about 40k A YEAR on average and that if YOUR PARENTS make over 120k AS A GROSS INCOME you're practically immediately disqualified for need-based aid???? like do you really believe anybody can afford to throw an entire third of their annual income to their kid's schooling, when they probably have several thousands of dollars in loan debt themselves??? in THIS economy??? eggs are fucking $7 a dozen where i am right now but GOD FUCKING FORBID i get any financial aid because "well your upper class" NEWS FLASH 120K IS THE NEW MIDDLE CLASS AND JUST BECAUSE MY PARENTS MAKE OKAY MONEY NOW DOESN'T MEAN FUCK ALL WHEN I CAN REMEMBER ALL THE NIGHTS THEY DIDN'T EAT WHEN I WAS GROWING UP BECAUSE THEY ONLY HAD ENOUGH FOOD TO FEED ME AND MY SISTERS I need to hold everyone involved at gunpoint because i really don't think a single fucking one of them understands "oh but you have money :/" there's literally a reason i work FULL FUCKING TIME while double majoring and it's because my parents can't even send me money for fucking groceries, let alone fork out FORTY FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS GOD DAMN YEAR for a degree that'll be FUCKING WORTHLESS in three years anyway i worked my ASS off and graduated with a 4.7 to get scholarships because i knew that's the only way i'd realistically be able to afford school. and then the fucking fafsa goes "oh but you have money in your savings! you can pay for your own school" bitch i have 4k and it's for my fucking rent!!!! my parents have like $600 in savings do YOU SEE THE ISSUE that's what being forced into credit card debt for 20 years fucking does it puts you in an unescapable hole so even when you're making good money YOU DON'T GET SHIT!!!!!! NOT TO MENTION THE ABYSMAL CREDIT SCORES MY PARENTS HAVE SO GOOD FUCKING LUCK TRYING TO GET LOANS FOR ME!!! COSIGNER? I'VE NEVER HEARD OF HER IM GOING TO KILL PEOPLE!!!!!!

[astriiformes]

Dying a little bit because the source I've been spending the most time with (other than Burton) for my melancholia project is Johann Freitag's 1678 Kurtzer Bericht von der Melancholia Hypochondriaca, which is a fascinating, fairly dense read that clearly has a lot of valuable information, but the thing is:

My German is already not amazing, and this is Early Modern, Fraktur-printed nonsense that I'm really struggling through

There is like no scholarship on the author or the book. Which really makes me want to write about it, since it would probably look good to consult a lesser-known source instead of just re-treading ground everyone else has already covered (like Burton), but also. Especially with my limited German. How do I do that confidently.

And this is a one-semester undergrad research project, not a PhD thesis or anything, so I really don't know how far I should try to chase it, but the part of me that yearns for grad school is going bonkers.

[clarascuro]

ive been seeing the word "feyre" in a bunch of tiktoky romantasy adjacent dressmaking videos and I assumed it was like a fandom word from some ya book I haven't read. I realized today it's supposed to be "fairy".

[riverstories7]

Can I rant for a minute? Authors, if one of your characters is an academic, do some basic research. Your adjunct professor will not suddenly get tenure if they publish their magnum opus. Your associate professor probably already has tenure and isn't at risk of being fired unless they commit misconduct—in which case their rank doesn't really matter. Job titles vary from country to country: professor means something very different in the US and the UK. I've been thrown WAY out of immersion in at least two books this year by stupid errors that might have been fixed if ANYONE involved in the writing or editing had done a Google search or talked to an academic.

[nablah]

for once i'd like people not to infantilize me just because i'm obviously disabled and polite and petite and "feminine" and asexual

[thehours2002]

I teach a lot of gen z young men of color and I feel myself starting to panic about how much I need to totally recalibrate my pedagogy when it comes to teaching literature through a lens of gender.

[transfaguette]

i kinda hate when bad things happen to successful and well liked people. but mostly because everyone is like "oh what a tragedy" and then when they pull thru they get to talk about perseverance or whatever but if the same thing happened to a "failure" like me and you can't pull through then ppl just think you deserve it lol.

[archivistic]

I just finished The Chair (netflix) (yes, I realize I'm many many months behind everyone else) and the most unrealistic thing about it is that any of the faculty ever stops monologuing

[geryone]

hi hannah! hope it’s alright for me to ask this, but would you say getting your masters was worth it? i have one year left of undergrad (also in english) and sometimes i think i’d lkke to continue my education but idk… going in debt for it seems awful, esp when college teaching opportunities are near non-existent (even more so when taking into account how colleges are only increasinf in shuttinf down). plus honestly im kinda just. finishing my essays for the sake of finishing them as of now. which. i know would not fly in grad school. LOL. would appreciate your thoughts immensely x

I don’t regret getting my masters but I do honestly think that I could go back in time I would have made the choice to wait. If you’re not feeling a pressing need to do it, there is no harm in revisiting the idea of going back to school down the line! I did my grad program because I knew I wanted to get my masters eventually & didn’t know what to do with my life at that point but I didn’t necessarily enjoy it or really care about the work I was doing. It sounds like maybe you should explore other avenues! You don’t want to spend all that money just to drag yourself through getting your degree

[g4rchomp]

I remained in contact with my thesis supervisor and when I told her I was enjoying working in retail despite the absolute shit pay she said 'oh my daughter works as a cashier part time and she's amazed by the money she's making!' and I had to remind her that her daughter is a 16 year old with no bills to pay and I'm a whole adult

[megkuna]

sorry just been seeing a weird backlash against academics from leftists too like was the right-wing backlash not enough lol. i'm not sure when professors became a ideologically homogeneous group intent on upholding """cultural hegemony""" for either political side. like sorry but nobody reads academic monographs except for other college students/faculty omg ......... and whatever influence they actually have in the classroom is probably overstated