#you also need the flour and sugar

[completeoveranalysis]

[3]

Evil Wolverine’s crimes continue.

Fai is expressing concern over the fact that both individual Sakura’s had a huge amount of power separately, but now together…?

AND THEN EVIL WOLVERINE INTERRUPTS HIM TO EXPLAIN THE FACTS THAT WE ALREADY HAVE, BUT IN HIS UNIQUE FONT. 

HELLO IT IS TIME TO RECAP ALL THE FACTS THAT YOU MAY REMEMBER FROM THE PREVIOUS PAGES THAT IMMEDIATELY PRECEDED THIS

SOULS GATHERED INTO OTHER SAKURA CLONES = DIDN’T WORK SO WELL

THIS ONE SAKURA CLONE IN PARTICULAR WAS EXCELLENT

STAMP THAT CLONE WITH ALL THE DIMENSION MEMORIES WE NEED 

ADD THE SUPER FEATHER THAT GOT STRONGER OVER TIME IN THE RESERVOIR FOR SOME REASON

COMBINE THAT WITH THE ORIGINAL SAKURA, MIX WELL, AND BOOM. 

You now have Super Goddess Sakura - the all purpose tool for all your universe destroying needs!

The place he loses me is when he says that Original ‘Sakura’ has the nature to take both of these things into herself. Which, I don’t know why she would, since the feather belongs quite specifically to a different soul, and I don’t know why she would absorb the body of her clone. Like, the Syaorans never absorbed each other, and Watanuki has always been fine when meeting Lava Lamp. 

Is it specifically because the body is empty? So it kind of drifts automatically towards a soul very similar to its original to merge with? And since The Sakura Clone's soul was VERY close to the original Sakura's, that meant she was able compatible with the feather even through she isn't missing any part of her own soul? Like an Extra Memory DLC she could have since the files were compatible, even though those memories aren't hers? Or something? 

I feel like I am being pedantic but he specifically says she has the ability to take both those things into herself.

If Syaoran had died but left an empty body behind would Lava Lamp have accidentally fused with it? Or is this a Sakura Specific Function that’s happening because of the Extreme Universe Powers that are being thrown around her?

Honestly at this point Evil Wolverine could just start adding any other random event he needed to make this work to the list and I’d just have to shrug and say Sure, Ok. Whatever you say. That might as well also be true now. 

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

What the food pantry on campus does:

- gives me snacks and drinks to supplement my regular groceries, breakfast stuff, maybe ingredients for 1-2 actual meals

What the food pantry is really bad at doing:

- giving me food I can make into proper meals for the week

Oh you want juice? Here’s 2 little juice boxes. Nothing else; they’re limited. You want pasta sauce? 1 can; limited. You want produce? 2 produce item limit, except for the apples which are starting to spoil. You can have all of those. You want frozen chicken? One container only. Oh, they’re all stuck together and frozen? Sorry, you can’t have two; no chicken, I guess. Pasta? One box only. Rice? Two small bags, max. Breakfast bars? Yeahhhh, those are a snack, and you can only have five snacks, total. But if you put those pop tarts back, you could have some! Oh, you want donuts instead? Sure! But that’s a bakery item, and you can only have one baked good, so you’re gonna need to put that bread back. You want ziploc bags? Here, have two. Not two boxes, two bags. Item limits. Sorry. You can come back next week!

How the fuck are people supposed to actually *use* these things for weekly meal planning if there’s not enough to last a week???

I swear I am grateful for these resources I’m sure they’re doing the best they can with what they have I’m just *frustrated*. I’m trying to spend less on groceries bc I can’t really afford them. It’s nice that the food pantry gives me these small portions to last me a couple days. But that still leaves several days with not enough food unless I’m really creative or go grocery shopping, and I simply do not have the energy or time to be really creative.

[naomiknight-17]

Ended up ordering online instead of going out shopping today because my back is sore and I am tired

But

For some stupid reason, when I signed into the site during checkout, it added items to my cart without notifying me. Items I had been looking at like a YEAR ago and totally forgot about, that were still saved to my cart

I didn't realize until I paid and got the final total and was like. Hey what the fuck

Luckily it's only like $20 of extra stuff but. What the hell. Why would it not have like a 'review cart' step or something to avoid this??? Oh. I know why.

Ugh

[subconsciousmysteries]

I'm in a forum group and they're telling a woman who "cooks with mostly grains" that she's got a healthy diet. I'm fucking LIVID

[angelp-official]

ETERNALFLOUR MENTIONED ‼️‼️‼️‼️ (Also poor Dark Cacao man, dressed up as the cookie who traumatized him) (Still adorable!!)

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

Biggest downside of baking is there is a mess and you have to clean it

[mariamblogs]

🚨HUMAN APPEAL 🚨🙏

Hello everyone , hope you are well .

We have run out of cooking gas a week ago, and the price of a gas cylinder is about 480 shekels (120 € ), also there’s no flour, it’s bag price is almost (150 €) , no salt - kilo of salt is almost (5€) - , no sugar - kilo of sugar is (9€) .

In addition there is my child’s needs:

-a pack of Pampers for 180 shekels (45€ ),

-3 cans of baby milk per month for 120 shekels (30€ ),

-warm clothes for the child about (100€ ),

-and a plastic cover for the tent to protect us from the rain costs about (200€ ),

I want to buy cleaning materials , such as :

-Bottle of shampoo 80 shekels ( 20€ ).

-2 Kilo of washing powder 140 shekels (36€ ).

-Bottle of dish- washing liquid 50 shekels ( 13€) .

****So i urgently need your help that I can go to the market and buy these very necessary supplies.

Note : Now , we are using fire for cooking and baking , and the price of a kilo of firewood is almost (2€ )

The flour we have , contains worms and weevils and is expired.

Thank you all, my friends. ❤️

Vetted by :

90-ghost here .

Gazavetters here .

@raccoon-in-a-hoodie @ezrazone @emathyst9 @wolfythewitch @queerdocumentary-blog @quecksilvereyes @anneemay-blog @angelslough @averagenotnormal @sleevesareforlosers @sinnamontrash @determinate-negation @dormimi-zzz @fuckyeahanarchistposters @gerbildine @generallyjl @good-old-gossip @heydreamchild @jezior0 @komsomolka @lesbianmaxevans @t-800terminator-blog @memewhore @cinematicjourney @freewatermelon0 @meshugenist @free-universe @free-your-mind @freepeople @gaxaly @gaza @gazanarchive @gazaboovintage @gofucktumblir @gofundmereach-blog @gofu @gofundmesharing @unreadable @factcheckdotorg @kidovna @usaproblems @irlandzkicukier @itlandscapes @helpfvl @hellprincess @heart @helpingg @dontrytoresurrect @doniabatata

[gothcatboygirl]

curious abt the label maker discourse 🤔

it wasn't really discourse, we were both just enthusiastically praising the benefits of having a label maker

[victorluvsalice]

-->And so, the never-ending quest to start filling up these shelves a bit more continued! Victor made some big bags of fruit sugar and potato flour, which I discovered to my delight DID fit on the SrslySims consignment shelves, so I put those out to sell later. Smiler then took over the bulk processor to make a couple of flavored milks (which they tried to put in the bathroom *sigh*) and a box of vegetarian MREs while Victor fizzed up some grape juice and then improved the infuser on the fizzing machine to make better quality products. And Alice concentrated on doing some more canning and preserving, making mushroom conserves and blackberry jam -- at least until the stove broke. Yeah, uh, I don’t think it’s a good idea to keep trying to can stuff on a stovetop with an OPEN FLAMING GAS JET on it! Alice didn’t think so either, and fortunately was able to fix it without issue.

-->Around that time, though, I noticed that Victor and Alice’s needs were tanking -- Victor was hungry and tired, while Alice was hungry and Furious thanks to her werewolf temperaments objecting to all the time spent indoors. And given Smiler was still without that much to do, I decided it was time to head home. But not before taking a few shots of the shelves -- yeah, fine, there’s still a lot of huge gaps, but they’re still looking better than they did before! Things are indeed coming along!

-->And so it was back to the farm for the trio, where I immediately noticed a bunch of the wind turbines were busted again. >.< I promptly put Smiler on repair duty and annoyedly checked the “bills information” to see how that was affecting our ability to build my desired electrical surplus. . .

And saw that said surplus had jumped from a mere 3 energy from before they left to 73. O.o Oookay, uh -- power issues finally solved? Mostly? We hope? Fingers crossed!

-->Anyway, while Smiler got the turbines back up and running, Victor had a BLT and made sure all the pet feeders were full for Shadow and Kelly before heading off to bed, while Alice went off for a hunt, coming back so full of Fury I figured it was easier to just let her tip over the edge into a rampage instead of trying to contain it. . .

[parfaitblogs]

over the moon ❀ s. reid x reader

in which a bout of insomnia prompts the usage of your arguably overworked baking equipment. 

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: fluff tags: established relationship. cliché flour fight into kissing... sorry... no i'm not. use of pet names. make out sesh (obviously).  word count: 1.4k a/n: also known as spencer and reader take on the margotlia bucket list for margovember!!! happy birthday to my lover @pathologicalreid!!! who has very quickly become my other half on this silly little side of tumblr. a prophet told me there are snickerdoodle cookies and a smithsonian date with our names on it in our futures ♡

"Honey, please tell me the light on in the kitchen is you getting a glass of water."

Like a deer in headlights, you're frozen in your beelined pathway between the fridge and the countertop of Spencer's kitchen, the carton of eggs in your hands preventing any attempt of a lie to him.

"Uh..." Your eyes lock with his, and he's visibly deflating upon spotting the pantry's baking ingredients arranged in front of you. "I'm just getting water?"

"I didn't realise you put sticks of butter into your water," he counters, voice meticulously picking apart your lie in front of your face. "Does that taste good?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sure," he nods his head, his feet carrying him over to you behind the counter. "What recipe have you chosen to victimise today?"

"Snickerdoodle cookies," you mumble, as his arms wrap around your waist, and his chin sits on your shoulder, eyes peering at your phone screen that had the cookie recipe open. 

"Any particular reason?" 

"I couldn't sleep," you explain. "Did I wake you up?"

"Yeah," he nods, and a beat passes where you mumble a quiet apology to him, before he's pulling away from you and picking up your phone. "Where do we start?"

It wasn't the first time you had baked instead of sleeping, and it certainly wasn't the first time Spencer had woken up to the sound of your hand mixer combining sugar and butter, or the oven timer dinging to accompany the smell of freshly baked muffins. In fact, he had become accustomed to not getting through an entire fortnight without at least one tray of baked goods taking up counter space. 

It was the first time he had offered to help you, though. He either accompanied you and watched you bake, or sat at his desk to get paperwork done (he said he should use the extra time spent conscious wisely). 

"You don't have to help," you're shaking your head, but he's already going to the sink to wash his hands. 

"You only slept for two hours before waking up to do this. I'd like to get you back to bed sooner rather than later," he answers, patting his hands dry. "I won't sleep until you do, anyways."

"Okay," you relent, staring at him almost stunned, before you return to the recipe you had up on your phone. "Um... could you combine the sugar and butter?"

Baking with Spencer Reid seemed to make everything a lot easier. Ignoring the obvious (the help an extra set of hands provided), his eidetic memory meant you could throw a step his way, and he'd know exactly what he was doing. Having asked him to add the eggs to his sugar and butter mix, he was already separating the yolk from the whites before you needed to say a thing.

"Have you ever stuck your hand into flour?" you ask him, and he lifts his head, eyebrows frowning together. 

"No. Why would I do that?"

"To know what it feels like," you say, dryly, though there isn't any malice behind it. "Have you never wanted to know what it feels like?"

"You can use context clues to figure out what it would feel like," he replies. "Correct?" 

"Spencer, you're entirely missing the point," you shake your head, and though he lifts his head from his sugar-butter-and-egg mixture to question you, he doesn't even remotely expect a large fistful of flour to explode across his chest. 

Then, you're laughing, and he's still battling with the initial shock of your flour attack for a few more seconds to laugh with you. But, when he does, he's almost mocking with it, and your face falls when he's putting his own hand into the container labelled flour, lifting it, and dragging his hand over your stomach. 

"Oh my God!" you say through a laugh, looking down at the smear of flour on your t-shirt. "Spencer!"

"Reap what you can sow," he retorts. 

So, you do.

You aren't too sure when the flour fighting gets more intimate. Somewhere between your fingers running it through his hair, and his hands landing on your ass, as he tugs you into him.

You're heaving, though the smile on your face is perfect, and he's certain he might be falling in love with you all over again. Cheeks stained in flour and all. 

"Hello," you sing, lifting your chin up to smile at him.

"Hi, sweet girl," he replies, ducking his head down to brush his lips against yours, and you pull a face at the faint taste of flour on them. 

Your finger lifts up to brush his lower lip, face growing concentrated as you brush the powder off it. "You've got a little... something..." 

"Do I?" he asks, condescendingly, and you're firmly nodding your head. 

"Yep. This is why I bake alone, Spencer Reid," you tut. 

His eyebrows raise. "I don't know if I want to even try to prove you wrong."

"I wouldn't recommend it."

"Duly noted. Anything you do recommend?"

You pause. "Kissing me might help in my journey of forgiving you for this mess."

If he's got any plan to defend himself, it crumbles beneath the words of your request, and his lips are stretching into a smile. 

"I'll do whatever I can."

His lips have a film on them from the brushed away flour, making them softer than they usually are, as he presses them against yours. Hands that were once resting almost teasingly on your ass lift to your hips, and your own drop to the countertop behind him as you lean into him.

As you usually feel in your slow moments like this with him, you feel your heart soar, your head tilting to the side as you accomodate his face being so close to your own. 

Arguably, his favourite thing about kissing you for longer than half a second, is the mewls and hums that leave your lips. Never too much to prompt anything more, but instead just enough to tell him just how much you enjoy kissing him. A feeling that is entirely mutual.

As soon as it starts, it's over. Which can't really be true, for you are panting when his head pulls away from yours,  and he's got that glassy look in his eyes that always makes your body warm. 

"We need to go shower," he murmurs, breath warm against your skin. 

You want to decline, just to stay standing right there in the kitchen with him, the urge to keep kissing him almost overwhelming. But his fingers have lifted to brush against a patch of flour on your neck, and you're surrendering at the feeling. 

"Okay."

Thus, forty-five minutes and one unreasonably long shower later, you were standing back in the kitchen, a bowl with cinnamon and sugar in front of you. Spencer's t-shirt hanging off your body — after you had expertly coerced him into letting you wear it — and a fork in your hands as you whisk the two toppings together. 

He's sitting on a stool on the other side of the bench, stirring the dough together after you had complained it was too thick. He argued it was supposed to be. 

Heading over to Spencer once the cinnamon and sugar was combined in a bowl, you mumble, "Okay. 'm tired," your head buried into the crook of his neck. 

"Yeah, weaponising that flour probably exhausted some energy," he muses, letting go of the wooden spoon to wrap his arms around you. "We still need to bake these, though."

"Cookie dough is yummy too," you retort, hand reaching out to pinch a piece of the dough. 

"Cookie dough isn't safe for you to eat," he answers, catching your wrist before you can get ahold of any batter. Upon seeing your pout, combined with the tired look in your eyes, he relents, letting you pick up a small piece just to eat. "How about we put this in the fridge, and we bake them tomorrow?" 

"I like that plan."

"I thought you would."

Helping him with the clean up consisted of you putting the dough in the fridge and cinnamon sugar in the pantry, and him doing... everything else. He didn't seem to mind, though, and his hands found their place on your waist as he walked you back towards the bedroom. 

"C'mon, sleepy girl."

He laughs at your incoherent grumble towards the name calling, letting you drag him back into the bed adorned with wrinkled sheets. 

"Thanks for baking with me," you say, voice layered with your exhaustion as you're curling up next to him. 

"Thanks for attacking me with flour."

"And I'd do it again."

your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡

[homunculus-argument]

Hii I'm asking you this because I've seen you post about Finnish grammar and stuff before. So I'm learning Finnish, and I also use duolingo because like free practice and duolingo keeps giving me this word but they refuse to translate it. Please I need to know what pulla means because in my native language it means dick and the duolingo characters keep asking for this mysterious pulla item with coffee and until I find out all my brain can hear is "i want coffee and dick please"

It's a type of finnish pastry, traditionally offered to visiting guest with coffee. A type of sweet bread roll made from wheat flour and flavoured with cardamom, generally with nib sugar sprinkled on top, as pictured above. They look and sound very simple, but they're surprisingly hard to make. Much like in baking bread, you've got to get the temperatures just right for the dough to rise, because yeast will die out of pure spite rather than let you succeed.

One particular reason why they're so iconic and beloved in Finland is because they take skill to bake and also don't keep well. They're delicious when they're fresh from the oven, but in 48 hours that delicious steaming roll is a solid dry rock that you could use as a makeshift hammer and tastes like crumbs and sadness. So in order to have them fresh, someone has to have baked them specifically for you, or at least the same morning.

You probably would have been satisfied with just the first sentence of this post for explanation, but I got started running my mouth and I'm having fun so I'm going to go on.

Pulla is one of those distinct cultural things that one grows up with that is so mundane and commonplace where you've grown up that it surprises you to hear that it's not universal. In finnish the term for a stereotypical idealised maternal domestic goddess housewife is "pullantuoksuinen kotiäiti" - literally "stay-at-home mother that smells like pulla". I've heard the expression used both as genuinely praising and snidely dismissive way to describe a woman who wants to be a mother and homemaker instead of having a career, but that's how much of a deal pulla is to finnish culture.

You can describe a person as "pulla-scented", and everyone can immediately picture what kind of a person this is. Someone who is a skilled enough homemaker to make good pulla, whose home is warm and welcoming because it smells like freshly baked pulla, which she has baked for you because she loves you.

I have plenty of things I was planning to do today and writing an essay about pulla was not one of them.

[devosin]

COOKING HAVEN, them cooking, cooking together with them, food tasting, everything you want in a food related fic <3

gender neutral reader / tooth-rotting fluff / crack taken seriously / entire twst cast / Aggressive flirting? Aggressive Flirting. / Really indulgent /

01. HEARTSLABYUL

Trey sighs, rubbing his forehead as he fights the will to stare back up at Ace's hands, as he struggles to chop the peppers on the cutting board, . . "Ace . .?", he calls out as softly as he can muster, and he stares up at him, "yeah?" . . "Take off the knife guard"

Ace stares at him dumbfounded, his head tilting slightly as he looks back at him blankly, "What?" he asks, "The plastic cover on the knife, Ace.", he looks at the knife blankly, then attempts to pull off the cover, his mouth opening to a round 'O' shape, when it comes off.

"Sorry, first time using . . err, fancy knifes." he says as he sets the cover aside, moving back to cutting the peppers as slow as humanely possible, careful not to cut his hands, "Well it feels like the first time you've cut anything in general, so I don't know what argument you're trying to make here." Trey spits back, slightly agitated with his slow movements.

Cater and Riddle, setting up equipment, mainly because Trey doesn't trust Riddle in the kitchen yet, . . he also doesn't trust either of them to be alone with the equipment alone, but together, it's different.

"Trey said to boil four cups of water?", Riddle states but it comes out in the form of a question because honestly he doesn't know what he's doing, "Like a coffee mug, right?", Cater asks holding up a small mug he found on the counter, "I think so, I mean what's the difference!" (There is in fact, a massive difference.)

After setting that up, where they may or may not have spilt water all over the counter; Cater runs a rag through the wet counters, cleaning over the leftover residue, "Didn't Trey mention something about, needing some yeast?" he asks.

Riddle thinks for a moment, "I think we'll be fine, baking doesn't need yeast right."

"Yeah you're probably right", replies Cater, as he stretches his arms, "I guess were done then", Riddle nods, "Mhm, wonder why Trey didn't give us more work."

"Yeah it's almost like he doubts our abilities in the kitchen", Cater states casually, "But were so helpful", "Exactly." (The delusional speaking to the delusional.)

Y/n, Deuce, and Trey baking together.

"Ok so the soup is boiling, I think we can try prepping the bread now?", Trey asks, "Sure thing", you reply, while Deuce helps tie your apron from the back.

"Just one problem . ." Deuce speaks up, finally letting go of the strings of your apron, and looking around at the ingredients laid on the counter, ". . . We're out of yeast." . . You pause, "doesn't all baking recipes, require yeast—"

Trey blinks . . "GOD FUCKING DAMN IT."

02. DIASOMNIA

Lilia looks over the recipe book, about one whole time before he deems it useless and throws it to the side (It lands in the trash, because clearly THE Lilia Vanrouge doesn't require such things), "Okay so we need some flour, oil, water—", he continues listing ingredients while Sebek goes out of his way to grab everything he mentions as fast as possible on the table.

"—Salt, sugar, lemon", Sebek reaches into the cabinet, before muttering, "Lilia . . we're out of salt."

Lilia pauses, thinking for a moment, his inner cooking genius coming together in his head, trying to figure out a swift solution, "We can just use baking soda . . I mean they're both white powders, right?!", Sebek pauses, thinking it over, "Yeah sounds perfectly logical."

Malleus, you, and Silver were in charge of making drinks for the picnic you had planned.

"Where's Silver?" you ask Malleus, while he washes the fruits you both bought the day before, "He fell asleep, I didn't think it would be polite to wake him up", you hum in response, bringing out the chopping boards and knifes on the counter.

You both started cutting mindlessly, while chatting away, "So, what are we making anyways?", he asks curiously, "Just a virgin cocktail of sor—ow—fuck!", you drop the knife, "Are you okay?" Malleus asks, ushering to your side.

"I'm fine, it's just a small cut, do you have a band aid?", Malleus nods, "Let me go get it!" (He proceeded to do everything alone until silver woke up and choose to finally help with cutting the rest of the fruit.

The picnic was outside, everyone helped set up the area.

"Lilia . . what's this?", you ask curiously eyeing whatever baked good was on your plate . . (It shouldn't even be called a baked good), "I don't know, I just mixed a few things and threw it in the oven, it's good no?", he asks curiously.

"I can tell", Silver mumbles, as you bump his shoulders slightly, "Ah yes, so good—So good in fact, I might just save it for dinner . . I mean Crowley, and his underpayment—"

"You can take all of it back to Ramshackle", Lilia suggests, "NO!—I mean, I couldn't—really . . it would HURT me." (He delivered a basket of baked horrors to your dorm the next morning.)

03. SAVANACLAW

Ruggie draws out his sigh, a scowl permanently placed on his face, as he stares at your pathetic attempt at cutting meat, "No—not like that . . you're wasting so much good meat", he mumbled the last part, he's trying to be nice, really, but there's only so much patience one can maintain at your mediocre cutting abilities. 

"You're massacring the meat!", he states firmly, as he finally shoves you away from the cutting board, and takes over your job, leaving you no choice but to move aside and let him have his way, "You know, this wouldn't happen if you . . just taught me how to cut the meat . ." you mumble out in protest, your hands laying at your sides. 

"I did", he responds dismissively, "No, you just handed me a knife and told me to cut", "Exactly, it's called immersive learning, something you're clearly not good at." 

You hold up your middle finger, "Fuck you", you bite back, but Ruggie doesn't respond back this time, focusing more so on cutting the expensive cut of meat he got off of Leona's Credit Card.

Leona enters the kitchen while you both were well near finished with kitting the meat.

"Morning", he yawns out, "So close, it's the afternoon", you blurt out, rolling your eyes at his overall casual demeanor, meanwhile you've been dealing with star michelin chef Ruggie's nagging all morning, from your cutting game, to how you can't just eyeball salt levels. 

"Close enough" he shrugs, looking over the counter, "Watcha' making?", he asks blankly, "Minced meat, clearly", Ruggie says in the most deadpanned way possible, pointing to your mess of cut meat, "Oh shit, who massacred the meat?" Leona asks, Ruggie looks at you. 

You cough, and look away, "I tried teaching them", Ruggie says in the most distraught tone he can muster, "Well clearly not well enough", Leona states bluntly, and you let out a small chuckle at Ruggie's expense.  

Jack comes in, awhile after Leona leaves the room, he greets you both and looks at the cutting board, one side of minced and mushed meat, and the other with perfectly diced meat, "Who fuck up the meat?", he asks bluntly, and Ruggie looks at you again, "Seriously, is it that bad!?" 

04. POMEFIORE

"Are you sure I'm doing this right?", you mumble out, as you continue mixing away, "You're doing amazing, trickster!" Rook exclaims, way too fucking energetically for it being 3am in the goddamn morning, your arms were practically falling apart, already aching from the school day, and now you're stuck on mixing duty, of all things that are involved in the glorious process of baking, mixing is the worst part. 

“Ah—I think we need more apples, give me a moment”, Rook walks out of the kitchen, and Epel finally lays back, stretching his arms, before looking at you, a chuckle escapes him at your expression, “You look like shit”, he says blankly, “wow, I didn’t ask”, you respond back, staring at him blankly, as he moves closer to you. 

You guys stare at each other for a brief moment, before he smiles and flicks your forehead, “Cheer up, you look like the goddamn walking dead”. 

You blink, and a smile takes over your features after probably hours, “Fuck you”, you mumble out, under your breath, but he doesn’t take any offense, moving back to his original spot. 

A couple hours later, the pie was in the oven, the lights were off, Epel was on the counter, you sitting down beside the oven, while Rook was busy mixing some sort of cocktail or something, surprisingly he’s good at mixing drinks.

“So anyways, Ace was like, ‘he doesn’t even have a hairline, why does he need a comb for’—”, you speak, moving your hands around as you recount your story, when something enters the room, something green, and your oven alarm goes off, ‘ring, ring, ring’, and the next thing you know, you, Epel were screaming and running behind Rook. 

“Oh, Good morning Roi du Poison”, Rook says in his cheery voice, and you both turn your face from him to the figure on the door, and then Vil flicks on the lights, groaning, “Why are you two still up, and why are you YELLING!”, Vil says, trying to stay as calm as humanly possible, turns out he gets up at the ass crack of dawn, and that his morning mud mask is a putrid green, things to note. 

05. IGNIHYDE

Ortho, sets the flour on the counter, you'd be surprised at both his speed and strength if you didn't know he was a robot, and you're also not in the position to focus on him right now. 

"Do I need to wear this?", Idia asks softly, as you tie the pink apron on him from the bow, making sure the strings come together in a bow, "don't you want to make your brother happy?", you tease softly, a chuckle escaping you as you watch his shoulders slump and he mumbles out a soft, "yeah . . ", the tips of his hair burn pink, he’s embarrassed. 

"Do you need help with yours?", he asks pointing to the white apron on the counter, you'd usually say no, but who are you to refuse when he already seems flustered over asking in the first place, "Yeah." 

Idia fiddles with the straps of the apron, struggling to tie a proper knot—"This isn't too tight, right?", he asks softly, and you nod. He ties a messy knot, that somehow holds together, you don't have to look at him to know he's embarrassed, you smile loosely, walking closer to Ortho, “Shall we start?”. 

06. SCARABIA

Kalim sits on top of the counter, headphones on, dangling his legs (he’s just a girl . . jkjk), as he watches you and Jamil cook. Too bad those headphones were soundproof, because what he thought was a cute interaction was actually World War 3 for you, “You call this a roti?”, Jamil asks you, trying his best to remain calm (he’s failing horribly), “Well it’s technically a roti . . “ you try and reason, the ingredients were the same . . technically. 

“. . .”, he pauses, taking a few deep breaths, trying to control his voice, which wasn’t working, “THAT’S A GODDAMN TRIANGLE”, you stare at Jamil blankly, “The roti has a good personality!” 

Jamil lifts the big pot full of water onto the stove, and sets everything up, probably because he didn’t trust you with many things, except pouring water into the pot, though he eyed you through the entire process, which at that point he could just do it himself, “Now put in the spices”, he says, as he watches bring out the turmeric jar. 

“How much?” you ask, as you take out the measuring spoons from the cabinet, “As much as your heart desires, only stop when your heart tells you to stop.”, he replies in the most serious way possible that you almost believed him. 

“Jamil?” you ask, “Yes?” he replies, straightening his back, “I meant the spices, not my love life, I don’t need advice from you of all people.”

“ . . . “ he pauses, “get the hell out of my kitchen . .” (He’s about to blow, actually), "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY—"

07. OCTAVINELLE

“Are you sure this is a reputable idea?”, you ask Azul as he looks through the ingredients Jade brought in for his new recipe idea, you don’t exactly understand why they asked you for your help, he has a multitude of workers to select from, but who are you to deny a cash offering, that’s just silly, Azul shakes his head, “Jade’s tastes are surely questionable, but he never fails when it comes to the Monstro Lounge.” he responds with a smile, his pen checking off everything in his list. 

“Why is Shrimpy here?”, Floyd asks curiously, leaning into the counter, placing his head in his hands, “To help, I guess . .” You respond, and Floyd shakes head, “No . . you need to eat”, Floyd says bluntly, “What? I ate!”, you snip back at him, confused at the sudden shift in topic, “No yeah, that’s why we asked you to come here, Floyd said you weren’t eating properly.”, Azul shrugs, as if this was just the most normal thing ever. 

And now you're here, on the table, eating something they served you, while Jade keeps you company, because apparently he’s not allowed in the kitchen for a month, after last week’s incident, which honestly you don’t want to know about. 

You take a bite of the pasta, they gave you way too big of a serving if you were being honest, but they wouldn’t take no for an answer, so you gave up trying to shut them down, you look up, and find Jade staring at you, “What?” you ask him curiously. 

“You have something on your face”, he says blankly and you quickly rub your face, trying to get whatever it is off, and he chuckles, “Kidding, you’re really easy to trick”, you frown but continue eating the food in front of you, “Hey . . Do you happen to know why Floyd calls you shrimpy?”, he asks, eyeing you curiously. 

You shake your head, no, "You wanna know why?", he asks casually, almost comfortingly but you try not to misread the situation, you nod, "Why?" 

"Because you're like a shrimp, tiny and weak, on the lower end of the food-chain—", you throw a piece of bread at him, "I'm kidding—Stop wasting the bread!", he says, as he moves away before you can throw more at him, "What's the real reason?", you ask again, "Because you seem weak and sad, I mean with how Crowley treats you and all—", he pauses, “he didn’t explain more than that, but you seemed lonely, like a lot of shrimps.” 

And that's when it hits you, like a truck, these fish breath assholes, care . . a lot . .  more than you give them credit for. 

commissions / discord server / (limited time only) personalized advent calendar

@ devosin , do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or adapt my work/theme without prior permission and or confirmation.

[p0orbaby]

👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻

May i request a blurb of reader who is the gf of Alexia and is also a baker and she is always baking more than necessary and forces Alexia and the barca team to eat all of them ...

Thank you

-

The smell of cinnamon, vanilla, and chocolate hangs in the air so thick it’s practically a fog. Alexia’s flat, usually pristine and minimalist, looks more like the aftermath of a Bake Off finale. Flour dusts every visible surface. Mixing bowls, spatulas, and piping bags have taken over the kitchen, creeping into the dining room. There’s even a smudge of frosting on the handle of the fridge, but you’ll wipe that later. Maybe.

Alexia had invited the team over for a low-key bonding evening—dinner, a couple of drinks, maybe some cards. You had other ideas.

“I just thought it’d be nice,” you’d said that morning, elbow-deep in dough, “to have a few little things for them to snack on”

Alexia had given you a look. The same look she’d given you after the sixth cake you’d made for her mum’s birthday. “Little things,” she repeated, sceptical.

“Just a couple of options,” you’d assured her.

Now, hours later, you’re carrying a tray piled high with lemon bars into the living room. The team is sprawled across Alexia’s sofa and chairs, clearly at home. Mapi and Ingrid are in a heated debate over Uno rules, Claudia is scrolling her phone, and Patri is valiantly attempting to play referee.

“Round three!” you announce cheerfully, placing the tray on the coffee table with a flourish.

Several heads turn, eyes widening at the sheer volume of baked goods.

“I thought round two was the end,” Ingrid mutters, though she’s already reaching for a bar.

“It’s never the end,” Alexia says, appearing behind you, arms crossed. Her voice is resigned, but there’s a glint of affection in her eyes.

You smile sweetly at her before turning to the group. “Try these—they’re gluten-free and vegan, in case anyone’s worried”

“Worried?” Patri says, picking one up. “I’m worried about needing to be rolled out of here”

Mapi snorts, shoving a whole bar into her mouth in one go. “It’s worth it,” she mumbles through a mouthful of lemon.

Alexia leans in, lowering her voice just for you. “You’re going to kill them, you know. Athletes can only take so much sugar”

“They’re fine,” you whisper back, dismissing her concern with a wave. “Besides, it’s not like you’re all training tomorrow”

“We are training tomorrow”

You blink, caught. “Oh. Well, they’re young, they’ll recover”

Alexia sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose, but the small quirk of her lips betrays her. She’s used to this.

By the time you emerge with round four—a towering plate of chocolate chip cookies—Clàudia is lying on the floor, groaning dramatically.

“No more,” she says, holding up a hand like she’s warding off an attack.

“These are a classic,” you argue, placing the plate down anyway. “Everyone loves cookies”

Mapi groans but still takes one, breaking it in half and passing the other half to Ingrid. Patri looks like she’s considering whether she can fit another bite of anything into her stomach.

Alexia sits beside you, finally giving up on trying to manage the situation. “You’re relentless,” she says, but her tone is warm.

“I’m passionate,” you correct, leaning your head on her shoulder.

“You’re something,” she agrees, stealing a cookie for herself.

The team might be groaning now, but by the end of the night, they’re all cramming Tupperware full of leftovers to take home. You pretend not to see Alexia slipping them extra containers, but the smug smile she gives you after is impossible to miss.

[xiao-come-home]

Even MORE pre-release Boothill. Please bear with me im doing my best,, slightly sug/gestive in one paragraph 🤸‍♀️

I've read somewhere that Boothill short-circuits when he's embarrassed AND I STAND BY IT. 1000%. I am here to spread this like a disease. His system is definitely able to process his emotions, but when you do something that makes his heart skip a beat, he freezes in his spot, his cheeks gain the most beautiful scarlet color... And then you hear the worst combination of malfunctioning robotic noises, AND then sparks fly off of him. Might have to wait a few minutes until he comes back...

Boothill might look like he's calm outside, but he just FEELS the blue screen coming when things get too heated with no break whatsoever or too much fluids go past the protective metal plates. His body stops in place, is absolutely unresponsive, and his eyes flash blue.

Don't worry though, your Boothill has a restart button, right in the middle of his upper back, hidden by his half-vest (or.. whatever that is). He might overheat a little bit though, so be careful not to give yourself unnecessary burns.

In rare cases when his blue screens get REAL bad, you have to stick a USB drive he gave you in those special slots he has on the left side of his hips to bring him back.

Boothill most definitely does not sleep, but gets recharged by electricity or fuel instead. Perhaps that's the reason for the hole he has on his back? Either way, it gives you an opportunity to "plug him up", which he hates, despises even, to hear from you when he feels low on energy (he still wants a goodnight kiss btw).

Boothill swallows bullets. He also spits them out when needed.. usually, he's very careful not to spit them into your mouth when you kiss, but gravity betrays him on his worst days.

Boothill probably works like Siri or Alexa when battles leave him a bit too wounded. You might wonder about something, say it out loud, and then Boothill just can't stop reading the first thing that came up on Google.

"What's the best recipe for carrot cake?"

"2 cups (260g) all-purpose flour, 2 teaspoons baking soda, ½ teaspoon fine sea salt—" Boothill gasps and covers his mouth, "1 ½ teaspoons ground cinnamon, 1 ¼ cups (295ml) vegetable oil, 1 cup (200g) granulated sugar—"

He just can't stop.

[bluesidez]

Can’t get Firefighter Miguel out of my head because of the Miggy discord.

content warning: nothing but fluff...for now 😗

word count: 1.3k, not proofread

Next ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅𓌉◯𓇋 Masterlist

Imagine you’re trying to get into baking or something and you’re not used to your oven AT ALL.

Cherry pies? Ruined.

Apple fritters? Apple crisps.

Chocolate chip cookies? Charcoal chip cookies.

Brownies? More like burnt brownie brittle.

Your process would be going so well until it was time to actually put your dessert in the oven and it was like your oven plotted against you.

You set the right temperatures. You pre-heated. You even placed things in the right part of the oven. How is it that everything goes wrong?

The only desserts that saw the light of day were the no-bake ones. You’re not sure how much more no-bake cheesecake you could take anymore.

The day that really sets it off is the day that you attempted to make a simple vanilla birthday cake. Your friend’s birthday was coming soon and you wanted to gift her one of those cute bento cakes.

Your icing is finished and delicious. You’ve been practicing the decorations all week and they were pretty cute! The cake just a few more minutes left to bake, then you could take it out to chill.

As you’re piping a bag of baby pink icing, you look up to see that the room is a little foggy. You turn in a panic and notice puffs creeping from the oven.

“No, no, no!!!” you cry as you turn to open it.

You can’t do anything but cough as a ton of smoke hits you in the face.

Your cake on fire. Orange and yellow light illuminating the oven.

You panic as the fire seems to grow brighter once it hits the air.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god!”

Where was your fire extinguisher? You tried fanning at fire with a towel, but to no avail. You couldn’t even get to the knobs to switch the oven off.

You step back, terrified. You felt like sobbing watching the flames take over. Why aren’t the sprinklers on?

By the time you run out of your house, the fire alarm decides it can sing its tune. You call 911 with a shaky voice, hoping they can get here faster than your alarm decided to make itself known.

You stand outside peeking through your eyes as you could see the flames grow near your kitchen window.

Thankfully the firetruck makes it in time, the firefighters working quick to get inside.

One of them asks is anyone else inside and you shake your head no, thankful that it was just you.

It doesn’t take long for them to put it out and come back outside.

“Are you ok?,” one of them comes to ask you. You look up to this tall, dark, and handsome man. He’s sweating a bit obviously from the summer heat and the fire as he takes his helmet off. His hair is curly and dripping. You ogle him a bit, watching his chest move up and down.

“Do we need to call you an ambulance?” he says, placing a heavy hand on your shoulder.

“Oh! No! So sorry, I’m still a little…winded from everything,” you say, embarrassed.

“Ok, well as long as you’re fine. Do you mind telling me what you were doing?” he asks.

You cast your eyes down. Here was such a fine man standing before you and you had on pajamas and a frilly maid apron with flour splattered on top.

“I was trying to make a birthday cake. As we can see, it completely failed,” you reply. “I don’t know what happened. I followed every instruction. The oven was set at 350 degrees.”

He tilted his head at you as you whined away.

“Is this the first time that something like this has happen?”

You shake your head no, “This is the 3rd burnt dessert in a week.”

“Hm. Well I’ll have the crew here check it out.”

An hour and some change later, one of the firefighters tells you and the tall glass of water, who learn is a captain named Miguel, that you have a damaged gas line.

“You’re really lucky that you were only getting blackened sugar. One more cake and that could have been the end,” Miguel says to you with hand on his hip and another on your shoulder. “And also, never open the oven if there’s a fire. If this happens again, turn the oven off and wait until it dies down.”

You felt your head nodding, heart beating at how awkward everything felt.

Miguel looked down at you again, “Do you have anywhere you can stay over night? Or until I can get someone up here to get this gas fixed?”

“My grandma lives a couple of streets down,” you say, cheeks heated at his intense eye contact.

“Tell you what, how about you settle there for the night and I’ll come back personally to help you grab your belongings tomorrow morning?”

“That would be amazing! Thank you so much. I’m sorry for all of this,” you gesture to your house.

“It happens. Nothing you did here was your fault. Besides, I’m the captain. Fighting fires is what I do. Now, how about a ride in the truck to your grandma’s?”

You feel giddy when he practically pulls you in the truck. No seats are left so you have to settle for sitting on Miguel’s lap, heartbeat racing.

The other firefighters try to hide their smirks and snickers watching their captain hold you so softly in his arms. One big bump in the road has you clinging to him to not fall off.

You straighten back up, embarrassed by the little slip. Miguel chuckles at your actions.

You pretend not to hear their wolf whistles as he guides you to your grandma’s front door.

Miguel knocks firmly, waiting with you until she opens it.

She’s about to fuss at you for not stopping by sooner until she looks up at Miguel.

“And who is this?” she says, a bit shocked.

“My name is Captain O’Hara. I just wanted to drop your grandbaby off. Had a little baking accident.”

Your grandma listens to Miguel as he explains the situation calmly and professionally. It doesn’t stop her from fussing over you, grabbing and turning you to check for any damage.

“I’m ok grandma. I just have to stay here while my gas gets fixed.”

She thanks Miguel profusely, “Son, what’s your favorite food? I’ll have it made and sent down there for you.”

Miguel laughs heartily. You’re about to tell him he doesn’t have to answer that until he beats you to it.

“Whatever your specialty is, I’ll take it,” he says with a sweet smile on his face and holding your grandma’s hands.

“Cap! We gotta another fire at the college dorms. Someone burnt noodles in the microwave again,” a firefighter yells from truck.

“Well if you all can excuse me, duty calls!” he says and runs back to the truck.

“I can’t believe you burnt a cake! Haven’t I taught you better? And you know you’re making him that food, right?” your grandma says as you step inside.

“Grandma,” you say, affronted. “It was the oven, not me! And he might not want to even eat what I make after this.”

“Hmph,” she says, with a click of her tongue. “Well, you better get ready to use this kitchen here. You need that man as a husband.”

“Grandma.”

“I have some ham hocks in the freezer, some turnip and mustard greens. I think the church sent me some potatoes. We need to go to the store too. You gotta get him through his stomach.”

“Grandma!”

There was a silence as you and your grandma stared at each other.

“So are you thinking pork chops or catfish to go with the side dishes?” she said, grabbing a pencil and an empty envelope.

You just groaned and crumpled in your chair.

divider by: @benkeibear ❤️‍🔥

the grandma convo is heavily inspired by my own grandma lol. tagging @miguelhugger2099 @kit-and-wolfe @huniedeux @ugh-ok-fiyn because I want y’all to see this 😗

[misswynters]

What a Mess!

featuring. sevika x reader

apart of the christmas special 2024 !

a/n. doesn’t have to be logical (if you don’t believe there’s baking in arcane, idk either) 😭 i also rushed this so if there’s any mistakes sorry :/

The kitchen was a disaster.

Flour coated every surface. There were bits of sugar and melted butter scattered across the countertops. You had gotten so caught up in trying to make the “perfect” Christmas cookies for Sevika that you hadn’t noticed how things were spiraling out of control. A bowl tipped over, spilling batter across the floor, and one of the trays had somehow ended up on the stove. The oven had beeped, and you had been so distracted by the mess that you hadn’t checked on the cookies in time.

You quickly wiped your hands on a dish towel, but it only made the mess worse, as flour clung to the fabric. Looking at your hands that still were messy, you heard a noise. In the corner of the kitchen, the sound of the front door creaking open had you freezing. She was home.

“Sevika!” You called, panic creeping into your voice. “I… I can explain.”

From the entrance, you could hear her footsteps grow closer. Then, the deep, calm voice you had come to adore rang out. “Explain? What exactly are you supposed to be explaining here?”

You turned to face her, trying your best to look nonchalant as she stepped into the kitchen. Sevika’s eyes widened at the sight in front of her. The kitchen was a warzone of spilled ingredients, broken eggshells, and half-baked cookies cooling on the stove. Flour dusted your clothes and your hair, looking like you’d been caught in a snowstorm. A yummy snowstorm.

She crossed her arms, leaning against the doorframe. “I leave for an hour, and this is what I come back to?”

You bit your lip, trying not to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. “Well, I was trying to bake you some Christmas cookies,” you said, eyes wide and innocent. “I thought I could surprise you.”

Sevika raised an eyebrow. “Surprise me?” Her lips twitched into a small smile, though it was clear she was trying to hide the amusement dancing in her eyes. “This looks like the aftermath of a disaster, not a surprise.”

“Come on,” you said, walking up to her and taking her hand, despite the sticky batter that had transferred to your palm. “I got a little… carried away.”

Her thumb brushed across your knuckles as she gave you an almost fond look. “A little? This is a whole new level of chaos.” She squeezed your hand lightly, a hint of affection in her eyes as she looked over the kitchen. “But, I have to admit, it’s kind of cute.”

You smiled sheepishly. “I may not be a pro, but I really wanted to make something special for my stubborn Sevi. Y’know?”

Sevika softened for a moment. “I appreciate the thought,” she said, looking around at the mess again. “Guess we’ll be eating cookies for days now.”

With a sigh, she pulled you close, brushing the flour from your cheek with the pad of her thumb. “Alright, alright. I’ll help you clean up.”

You gasped dramatically. “No! You can’t clean up! You must be super tired.”

Sevika chuckled, her deep voice rumbling in your chest as she embraced you. “I think I can handle a bit of flour. Besides, looks like you really need some of my help.”

You grinned and kissed her on the cheek. “You’re the best, Sev.”

“I know,” she said with a wink, but you could see the affection behind her smirk.

Together, the two of you cleaned up the mess, laughing about how ridiculously chaotic your baking attempt had turned out. Atleast you were able to somehow make the cookies look decent enough to eat. And when the cookies were finally finished which were slightly burnt on the edges but delicious either way. The you both sat down to enjoy them, savoring the moment.

As Sevika leaned back in her chair, she reached for your hand and gave it a light squeeze. “Next time, we stick to something a little easier, yeah?”

You chuckled, leaning your head on her shoulder. “Yeah. But, hey, I think this turned out perfect.”

Sevika looked down at you, a soft smile playing at the corners of her lips. “You always know how to make me smile,” she said, before stealing another cookie from the tray. It wasn’t never a perfect Christmas with you trying to bake something that somehow ends up creating a chaotic mess in the kitchen. But it was the one that always brought joy to the both of you.

Plus Sevika enjoyed the cookies.

taglist. @blckbny @ch-bl0gsss @b-lossm @fortluocha @ekkosh @limereance @wolfessa @themostlesbianever @simonapietra @1-800-fantasy @saikikittykusuo @sevikaishot @sugarplumz100 @chaostudi @wxwrites @m-0-mmy-l-0-ver33 @robzo4 @puppyphia @xreadersarchive @boom58 @d3adbrainer @kylorey25 @slutmeoutfortoge @yaeil @sapphicarribean @randomperson291 @mvistl @hellokittyfeenie @literallyimthenerdemoji @nikaachuuuu @prettysupplicant @iamaboringrattat