#you actually just have to beat the whole level within 60 seconds

[dravidious]

You are certainly quite cool

After having experienced the glacial progression pace of Runeterra for so long it is THRILLING to be able to 100% an entire world in Ultrakill in a single morning. It turns out that real games don't try to drip-feed you tiny bits and pieces of progress in an attempt to take as much of your time as possible!

[casliveblog]

Custom Toonami Block Week 157 Rundown

Spy X Family: It’s the season finale and you know what that means: actual plot progression! It’s time for Donovan to actually visit Eden and Loid gives a rundown of why he can’t just crash into the place despite being Lupin the Third on steroids. Now see this whole time I thought the plan was to assassinate Donovan idk where I got that idea but that’s what I assumed. But apparently it’s actually to just get in his good graces and ply him for info which seems completely unrealistic given the guy doesn’t step outside except for alumni shit, like this is why real operations usually gun for people a couple ranks down on the chain of command for info gathering given Donovan has Lupin Mask detection devices surrounding him at all times. First Anya tries to follow Damian and confront Donovan herself but she eventually has to dip out but not before reassuring Damian to have courage and face her father because she fucks up all the time and her father still loves her so even if he fucks up occasionally he should have faith in his dad too. This gives Damian the motivation to not back down on meeting his dad and keeps Loid’s operation going. He pretends to run into Damian accidentally while looking for Anya’s keychain she got last episode and luckily Donovan actually shows up to meet his son. So Loid gets to introduce himself and apologize for Anya decking Damian the first day of school (ironic that Anya’s very first fuckup is the only thing that gives him literally anything to talk about here) Loid vents about his frustrations raising Anya and Donovan’s like ‘yeah bro kids suck’ and Loid plays it off like ‘yeah they do but I try to talk to them on their level and meet in the middle’ and boosts up Damian as a good kid to try and draw them closer to each other while making sure Donovan remembers his name and face. It’s not much but it’s a foot in the door and outlines Loid and Donovan’s different perspectives on the prospects for the future, Donovan thinks only of how communication fails because you can’t really trust anyone and Loid is constantly seeking to understand everyone as much as possible (usually for spy shit but still).

Inuyasha: Naraku and Sesshomaru keep fighting and Naraku repeats his tactic of ‘If I let Sesshomaru beat me up enough then all my blood and guts will just eat him and shit’ from the last time they fought because Sesshomaru is OP and even the main villain can’t beat him really. Problem being Naraku’s blood is made of Super Venom and  will literally melt anyone that gets within ten feet of it which is bad news because there’s three very squishy humans and one moderately squishy half demon who’re about to get soaked in the stuff. Hosenki tells Inuyasha he needs to cut him down to get his power and break Naraku’s barrier and there’s a cool parallel of Sesshomaru and Inuyasha both saying ‘nothing else matters’ but Sesshomaru’s saying it about destroying Naraku despite the fact it may cause Kagome, Miroku and Sango to die but Inuyasha’s saying it about saving them even if it means losing his chance to gain Hosenki’s power. Hosenki’s moved by Inuyasha’s compassion and gives him a pass on the ‘cutting through unbreakable adamant’ thing and busts himself open so Inuyasha’s Wind Scar to wipe away Naraku’s miasma also carries the adamant shards and just fucking IMPALES Naraku and it’s SO SATISFYING because he’s been so fucking smug since Mt. Hakurei but like between Inuyasha making 60% of his body adamant crystals by impaling him and Sesshomaru’s followup turning his body into what’s essentially a fine paste, it’s really nice to see. Kagome even gets to use Kikyo’s arrow to shoot the jewel shard and purify it so he can’t take it with him while he runs away. Even Narkau says if he had fasttraveled like a second later he’d be really dead. Honestly as a kid I remember thinking it would’ve been fine if it just ended there like even by Naraku’s standards that escape was weirdly marginal, like everyone important was there and got a good blow on him but we still have Hakudoshi and shit to deal with so of course we’re not done yet. Though I gotta say the Adamant Barrage is one of my favorite Inuyasha moves like it’s just so visually cool looking and it just completely no-sells the ‘no but stronger barrier tho’ arms race that’s been going on for the past like fifty episodes. Though I also gotta say this is where they start leaning into the Tessaiga gaining new powers from defeating demons as something the Tessaiga inherently does and I’ve always assumed this was a retcon made at this point because the Wind Scar and Backlash Wave seemed inherent to the sword itself and the barrier crystal seemed to be a special case tied to the properties of the bat demon’s blood jewel itself but apparently this is the point where they’re just like ‘nah it gets new abilities whenever it kills a strong guy but only when it’s plot relevant because we don’t want it shooting lightning after he kills the Thunder Brothers or some shit’ and I think it’s like an editorial mandate that Shonen series have mechanics to keep throwing new powers into the mix because that’s what happened with MHA and it’s just kinda strange despite me liking the Adamant Barrage and Meidou Zangetsuha (not the biggest fan of the Dragon Scale though).

Yu Yu Hakusho: This is a weird episode, just kinda gonna say that up front. So Yusuke’s been training with the demon monks for a year but Raizen’s on his deathbed and snaps and decides to try to eat Yusuke because apparently he’s demon enough for Spirit World to be mad about him being in the human world but human enough for Raizen to eat I guess. Still they fight a bit and he’s even with Yusuke despite literally being ten minutes from dying. Yusuke snaps him out of it and he gives his backstory about why he doesn’t eat humans and it’s legit the most half-assed ‘a girl healed my wounds and didn’t immediately want to kill me so I fucked her’ story like Togashi’s usually a lot better about these, it’s so paint by numbers and it’s legit a one night stand where she takes off her shirt and is like ‘btw I’m poison so don’t eat me’ and Raizen’s so struck by her boldness and titties he literally says he ‘had no choice’ but to fuck her, like don’t get me wrong I’m a sucker for some impressive titties and a confident girl too but he gives Yusuke WAY too much detail about how he fucked his great great great great great great grandma and then decided to never eat humans again because they sex was just THAT good, like there was no grand romantic development to their relationship or playing at having a deep connection like he fucked her and then fucked off and then she died giving birth to his demon baby like holy shit that’s such a paper thin excuse plot like I could get better motivations out of a filler story. Anyway now that Raizen’s unloaded his story about unloading into Yusuke’s grandma he tells Yusuke Yomi’s a prick and Mukuro’s probably the lesser of two evils and fucking dies on the spot. Ever the rebel, Yusuke decides that the first thing he wants to do is go visit the person his deadbeat dad told him was impossible to reason with and, meanwhile Kurama and Hiei are counseling their new masters about what a wild card Yusuke is and not to underestimate his dumbassery because it fucks everyone up in the end.

Jujutsu Kaisen: It’s time for a good old-fashioned flashback arc! The first part of the episode is a big semi-unrelated setpiece about young Utahime and Mei Mei going through their own PT/Eternity Devil shenanigans and it’s pretty fun and does that weird anime rotoscoping thing which I’m not sure if I love or hate but it’s all a setup for Gojo and Geto’s introductions which is pretty nice since last week we got a good bit of foreshadowing for their backstories with the movie. The interesting thing here is when they’re talking to each other they both seem to have the exact opposite opinion of their current day selves with Geto being the one vouching for protecting the weak and Gojo going for strength above all else so from the outset we essentially put in high relief that this is going to be a story about Geto’s fall and Gojo’s rise to meet where their standards come to by the time of the movie/series. The main plot goes down and basically as I understand it the dude that’s the leyline for all the barriers and shit has to get fed a specific human every few years so his immortality still registers him as human and doesn’t go ‘wait this fucker’s 2000 years old, better make him a buddha’ because enlightened people are notoriously shit at actually having empathy for the existing world or doing anything to actively help people since the material world is fleeting and all that. So it’s kind of ironic that a bit of ritualistic sacrifice keeps him away from enlightenment but they liken it more to something like Orochimaru taking on a new host (or Gojo’s Digimon example but I don’t find that quite as useful). But yeah the catch is the sacrifice is a young girl who I’m sure won’t inevitably change the outlooks of two young men at the crossroads of life, though she’s also being hunted by a group of evil sorcerers and another group that can’t actually do shit but has lots of money to pay people to do shit and also one of the guys they’re paying is Megumi’s dad who everyone’s simping for I guess? I really like how effortlessly quirky and lighthearted a lot of the writing for this part is, like it’s goofy and unique but not in a sweaty way like a lot of the bigger stuff tries to be nowadays, really sells the previous generation being just as big of dorks as the current one.

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off: So this is a weird series and I’m not entirely sure how I’m gonna go about breaking this one down considering it’s a lot more ‘vibe-centric’ for lack of a better word. There’s a lot of jokes that are probably better if you’re reading it as a comic or willing to stop and go back to read subtitles but I don’t have the energy for all that so I’m bound to miss a few. But yeah I think the premise for this one is fairly well-known already, it’s a quirky lovestory that gets all the people too isolated to be hipsters but too extroverted to be Goths going with its charming characters and unique/blatant references. It’s kind of funny that the romance between Scott and Ramona is the core because as far as I see it so far it’s a relationship where both people are the Manic Pixie Dream Girls which is kind of a fun dynamic, though it does fall into the normal romantic comedy traps of Scott trying to orchestrate a meeting and obsessing over a girl but it skirts away from being too stalkerish in the end. They kinda have like half a date and immediately almost fuck which makes me feel like a bitter loveless old person that hates romance because that seems unrealistic to me that they’re just randomly gonna hop in bed that quick, I’m from the ‘don’t kiss until the third date’ era of romantic comedies so like not saying it’s a terrible way to do things and it is nice they showcase both of them backing down and putting up and taking down barriers of consent but like I said it makes me feel old and bitter because this seems to be escalating WAY too fast. That’s kinda how I feel about a lot of this like I feel like I’m about a decade too old to romanticize being unemployed and mooching off a friend and being in a go-nowhere copyright-infringement named band but I am enjoying the vibe in general. But yeah now the actual plot comes in with the Gendo Ikari ripoff (because apparently every anime ever has to have one of those now) and the League of Evil Exes (I’m just kind of amused that they self-identify as evil, like idk why that’s so funny to me they’re so serious about it) and I do like how it seems like because Ramona herself is relatively closed-off we learn more about her through the path of each person she’s dated which is kind of a neat way to symbolize the path of truly connecting with someone which does kind of ease some of my worries about how quick they jumped into things. The first guy is just a random fleeting fling from middle school and I imagine there’ll be more progression and complicated relationships as we go (though damn Ramona’s 23 and she’s already dated seven people worth mentioning? Like that’s not too outlandish but that still seems above the norm at least) Anyway the first boss apparently has magic and turned Scott into tokens so… guess we’re going full magic next time… Also between this and Yuji in JJK and a few others there’s an odd number of anime that just have it like ‘oh yeah the protagonist was just kinda already good at fighting to begin with’ to get around them having to learn the basics of fighting.

Ranking of Kings: I’m kinda checking out on these honestly at this point, like I know I complained last time about this whole season seemingly being filler but yeah it’s just not as interesting retreading the small time lapses in the original story like making a Naruto filler arc but on purpose for some reason. This time all this is supposed to happen during the time Bojji’s heading back to his kingdom even though that was supposed to be a rush trip and they still barely made it back in time to save his mom, glad to know these detours almost cost Hilling her life because Bojji was fucking around with random bandits and spirit dogs. The first short is about Bojji and the Underworld Knights making camp in the canyon and ending up helping out a random family with a bandit problem while hiding from a giant t-rex like monster that just turns out to be the Underworld Captain sleepwalking and moaning. The second short is about them running into those spirit dog things they saw with the Big Lipped Alligator Moment guy from the start of Bojji’s journey (also Kage talks about it like he was there, like technically he was in Bojji’s bag but I can’t be bothered to check if he would’ve been in a position to see any of that shit but I’ll take his word for it) and yeah it’s the standard Avatar plot of ‘the spirits are angry but you gotta talk to them instead of fighting’ it’s fine it’s just really short and doesn’t go very far like a lot of these have been doing.

Vinland Saga: Season 2 starts off with the story of Einar, a young Englishman in the middle of a tragic backstory when JUST after he finishes rebuilding his village after it got pillaged, it gets pillaged AGAIN and his mom and sister die and then he’s shipped off as a slave. It’s kinda funny because when he says he’s from England I’m just guessing it was Vikings that did the pillaging given how the cultural climate of England was at the end of Season 1 it was basically free game for them, so it’s not Thorfinn’s old crew cause they’re all dead but it’s something very like his old crew that creates Einar’s origin story. Einar tries to take to heart his mom’s message about living well being the best revenge and always rebuilding after devastation but turns out living as a slave fucking sucks, who knew. Thankfully he’s at least sold off to people that while not exactly nice they are pragmatic and want the slaves treated well enough that they’ll look good enough to sell well to some rich assholes that probably won’t beat them too much which is probably better than being stuck in a foreign country with no food or money, like idk I assume Einar could at least figure out something to hunt but it’d probably be really rough and his escape attempt ends hilariously quickly when he runs out of food and tries to go pilfer some. He’s eventually broken in to trying to be a good slave just to stay alive and honor his mom’s ideology of trying to rebuild. He runs into Leif who’s looking for Thorfinn because apparently Thorfinn somehow got mixed into the slave trade after season 1 because I guess he’s just trying to go down the checklist of everything Thors was trying to save him from becoming. But yeah the sheer love that Leif is showing to try and save Thorfinn even now really gets to Einar and he puts in the last bit of effort to be sold off to a seemingly good-natured man with a HUGE farm. Like you know, owning people is never great but this guy at least seems like he’s not gonna beat the shit out of his guys for no reason and Einar is slowly starting to convince himself that he can live without his freedom and accept his fate. That’s when we find out Thorfinn WAS sold as a slave to THIS SAME GUY, and he’s fucking JACKED now, like it’s a big reveal of how old Thorfinn’s gotten given Leif didn’t look that much older and was still looking for Thorfinn as ‘short and blonde’ but the Netflix pic for Vinland Saga is legit older Thorfinn so that was spoiled a bit.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #201

Welcome to Fate and Phantasms Season 2! With our vacation over, we're gonna hop straight into the queen of beasts and pranks, Anastasia! Since she gets a lot of her power from a fictional character, making her a Silverquill Warlock just makes sense. Kinda. Check out her build breakdown below the cut (but expect Lostbelt 1 Spoilers), or her character sheet over here!

Next up: We're going whole hog!

Race and Background

Viy is... something else entirely, but Anastasia is clearly a Human from a Variant timeline, a.k.a. a lostbelt. This gives her +1 Charisma and +1 Intelligence, proficiency in Sleight of Hand to sneak rocks into snowballs, and the Elemental Adept feat to ignore cold resistance and bump all cold damage dice up so the minimum they can roll is a 2. We get a disappointingly small amount of snow and ice in this build (turns out Demons are mana hogs), but this'll make sure the ice you do get has some bite to it.

Ability Scores

Make your Charisma super high this time, you're good at messing with people and dealing with extraplanar monsters, both of those are charisma for some reason. Dexterity is next for a better chance at playing practical jokes on people. You gotta be sneaky and have fast hands, that's dexterity. Your Intelligence is also pretty high, you have to come up with schemes to act upon them. Wisdom's decent, but it's not like Yaga are good liars anyway. Your Constitution isn't great though, turns out you're weak to bullets, but we're dumping Strength. Nobles typically don't turn to heavy lifting, and you died when you were 17, so that's two strikes against the "buff Ana" theory. Finding out she died at 17 also makes the degree to which a certain part of this fandom gets horny for Anastasia waaaay creepier. Like, they probably don't know she's a kid, and that's FGO's fault, but still.

Class Levels

Aaanyway, let's start leveling! As a 100% Silverquill Warlock build, you'll find the pen is mightier than the sword! And the pen, in this metaphor, is a terrifying demon. The swords are still swords. You get Wisdom and Charisma save proficiency, as well as Arcana and Religion. Your doll's into the former and your boss is super into the latter. Not Kadoc, the guy who's actually in charge. Warlocks get Pact Magic, letting you cast one spell per short rest. You'll get more & stronger spell slots as you get stronger, but they all recharge on short rests. Grab the cantrips Eldritch Blast for casterballs, and Frostbite for ice. You also get first level spells like Armor of Agathys for a protective layer of ice, and Hex, Viy's first attempts at creating weaknesses. You deal an extra 1d6 necrotic damage to the target each attack, and they get disadvantage on one kind of ability check. If they drop to 0 HP, you can even move the spell over to a new sucker for up to an hour. The fun doesn't stop there, though! Your subclass makes you an Eloquent Apprentice, giving you proficiency in Deception and Insight, plus you get the Vicious Mockery cantrip to demoralize enemies. You can also use Viy's eyes to plant Silvery Barbs into enemies, weakening them and strengthening your allies at the same time. You can force a creature to re-roll a successful attack, check, or save, and take the lower roll. If the new roll fails, you can then give another creature effectively advantage on an attack, check, or save within the next minute. You can use this as much as you want, but after succeeding once, you'll have to burn a spell slot to reuse it before the end of a long rest. You... don't have many of those.

Second level warlocks get Eldritch Invocations! Grab Armor of Shadows for not dying, and Lance of Lethargy to make your eldritch blasts extra icy! Now they slow down someone you hit once per turn. You can also cast Unseen Servant so Viy can carry stuff for you!

Third level warlocks get the Pact of the Chain, so you can have your little dolly now. You also get a second level spell, Hold Person! It's not cold damage, but it does frost over a person and make it easier to beat them up!

Fourth level warlocks get their first Ability Score Improvement, so bump up your Charisma for better spells! You can also cast Mind Sliver to mess up people's minds, and Ray of Enfeeblement to weaken them further.

This level you get third level spells like Spirit Shroud! More slowing, and more cold damage! You're also a Sign of Ill Omen, letting you cast Bestow Curse once per long rest.

Sixth level silverquills can summon Viy in his big shadow form thanks to Inky Shroud! You learn the Darkness spell, and you can cast it for free once per long rest! If you cast it for free, you can see through Viy, and he'll deal a bit of psychic damage to creatures that start their turn in him. If you want him to be a bit less smokey, you can Summon Shadowspawn, creating a shadow guy that can beat people up an deal cold damage and scare people!

Fourth level spells! Grab Elemental Bane to make your cold spells even colder once a turn. You get another invocation too, and Devil's Sight will let you see through all sorts of darkness, even if it isn't Viy.

Another ASI! Max out that Charisma for super strong spells! You also get Raulothim's Psychic Lance, which deals a buncha psychic damage if they fail an intelligence save, and it'll incapacitate them too if they fail. That freezes them up just enough that they can't take actions or reactions. They can still move around, but they can't do much to help.

Fifth level spell time. Ice don't care about what it's freezing, so grab Hold Monster. You also get the invocation Ghostly Gaze, which'll let you see through solid objects, up to a minute per short rest!

Tenth level silverquills can add an Infusion of Eloquence to their spells, changing the damage type to Psychic or Radiant. Any creature hurt by the spell takes extra damage, and is also charmed (radiant) or frightened (psychic) of you until your next turn. You can do this proficiency times per long rest. Slap it on a spell that does damage over time like hex and you're in business! It's a shame that it takes the ice out of your spells, but it'll really weaken some enemies! Also, grab Prestidigitation. The only thing better than a rock in a snowball is a rock in a snowball that'll disappear after you throw it!

Eleventh level warlocks get a sixth level Mystic Arcanum, letting you cast the spell once per long rest. If you want more Anastasia goodies, grab Investiture of Ice to freeze up your foes. If you want more Viy goodies, grab Eyebite to weaken your enemies with just a glance. Either's good.

Now that your charisma's all good, use this ASI to bump up your dexterity for better sneaking and AC! You can also Mire the Mind (tho really you're more miring the body, with ice), casting Slow once per long rest.

You get a seventh level MA now, so pick up Power Word Pain. If a creature has less than 100 HP, it'll be super hurt, with a speed of 10' maximum and disadvantage on all attacks, checks, and saves, other than constitution. If it tries to cast a spell, it also has to make a save or it wastes the slot!

On a completely unrelated note, fourteenth level silverquills learn a Word of Power. (It's actually two words? idk) You can invoke Deadly Despair in an enemy who fails a roll due to your silver barbs, giving them vulnerability to a damage type until the start of your next turn. Alternatively, you can use a Selfless Invocation as a reaction, giving a creature resistance to the damage they're taking, and you take as much psychic damage as the damage that gets through. This one's why Silverquill beat out the undead warlock; now you can take a bullet for the ones you care about!

Fifteenth level warlocks get an eighth level MA, so grab Maddening Darkness for even more spooky smoke. a 60' radius sphere turns into darkness like the other spell, but creatures that start their turn in the sphere make a wisdom save, taking a bunch of psychic damage if they fail. Your eyes get even better thanks to your Witch Sight, letting you see through shapeshifters and people with magical disguises. People tend to keep that stuff hidden for a reason, and now you get to find out!

Use this ASI to bump up your Constitution. A lot of your spells need concentration, so it should probably be a bit better. Also, this gives you 16 HP instead of 1; Hit points get changed retroactively.

Seventeenth level warlocks get their big ninth level spell! Grab Imprisonment to freeze someone away forever! (Okay, not for "forever" ever, but a really long time.) If the target fails a wisdom save they're trapped, and don't need to breathe, eat, drink, or age. It also can't be found with magic. There's a lot of options, but you can probably talk your DM into letting you ice someone over. There are three ways the target can be set free if they fail the save: 1) A ninth level dispel magic, either on the prison or on the material component you used to cast the spell. 2) You try to make another prison using the same material component. That's a no-no. And 3) a special condition you set, accepted by the DM. The condition has to be reasonable, and possible to happen.

Eighteenth level warlocks get one more Invocation, and the Chains of Carceri will make you just a bit icier. Now you can cast Hold Monster at will, if only against celestials, fiends, and elementals. You can only cast it on the same creature once per long rest.

One last ASI, so bump up that Constitution again for more HP! You also get one last spell; it sucks we can't go back and grab the other sixth level spell we want, but you can grab Fear instead. Viy's a pretty creepy dude.

The capstone ability of the warlock class makes you an Eldritch Master. And by that it makes your patron an Eldritch Master, because you have to spend 1 minute begging your Viy to use this feature. It recharges all your spell slots for free, but you can only use this once per long rest.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

While it doesn't have as many spells as fire damage, ice damage is still a pretty solid pick to specialize in, and thanks to Elemental Adept there's only a very small number of creatures that can slow you down. Just don't play this character in Icewind Dale, and you'll be set.

You have plenty of ways to debuff your foes, ranging from slowing them down, freezing them in place, frightening them, charming them, and weakening their attacks and saves. Unlike Abigail, you diversify your status effects, and you can still deal plenty of damage at the same time, with powerful spells and the ability to shove vulnerabilities into people as a reaction. And those debuffs are both effective and flexible! Spells like Vicious Mockery plus your Silvery Barbs let you tank any kind of save the enemy tries to do. Elemental Bane works for all sorts of damage types, not just cold, and Bestow Curse literally just lets you do whatever you want if your DM signs off on it.

Your Eyesight is incredible, with the ability to see in the dark, through walls, and even through magical disguises. You can pull apart mysteries pretty well with those peepers.

Cons:

A lot of your spells require Concentration, which you aren't that good at. It also means you have to pick one and stick with it for the duration.

On a similar note, being a pure warlock build means you only get a maximum of 4 spells per short rest. We took a couple invocations to help with this, but it's still a small number of slots.

While you can be terrifying on your own with Viy's assistance, it's clear a lot of your features work better with teamwork, so fighting on your own can be a little awkward. For example, deadly despair lasts until the start of your next turn, so if you use your silvery barbs to block an attack, you won't get any damage out of it.

[monstersdownthepath]

Spiritual Spotlight: Angazhan, the Ravenous King

Chaotic Evil Demon Lord of Apes, Tyrants, and Jungles

Domains: Animal, Chaos, Evil, Plant Subdomains: Decay, Demon, Fur, Growth

The Complete Book of the Damned, pg. 18~19

Obedience: Ingest hallucinogenic jungle plants and then beat a complex rhythm on a large drum made of human skin and bones while chanting prayers to Angazhan. Benefit: Gain a +4 profane bonus on saving throws against diseases and poisons caused by exposure to the jungle or inflicted by creatures native to jungles.

Heurgh, Angazhan has some pretty restrictive requirements here, and his Benefit really only works against a single environment, making Angazhan one of the most environmentally-locked deities since Dagon! It’s fitting, considering Angazhan is basically only worshiped in Darkest Africa the Mwangi Expanse, a massive and terrifying jungle he’s had his six-fingered hands buried deep into ever since humanity began settling the land. Since worship rarely ever leaves a jungle home, any player character wanting to serve the Ravenous King had better make sure they’ll be sticking close to the vine-draped homeland, or they’re just completely out of luck! Not just because they lose out on the benefit above, but because they lose out on a good number of Boons too!

anyway, it’s a difficult alignment to set up for and keep a secret, if you’re trying to hide your worship of the Tyrant King. You COULD pass off the drum as being made of animal tissues, but the loud chanting to a known and famous Demon Lord and the fact you’re likely to be seeing stars and colors due to your Hearty Breakfast is much harder to explain if someone kicks your door in. The fact you need both jungle drugs and a drum means this Obedience is utterly ruined if you get robbed or have your equipment stolen, though at the very least it’s easy enough to replace your belongings... if you’re in a jungle. If you’re not, getting a new drum is simple, but a visit to the black market may be necessary to restock on your Hearty Breakfast.

The benefit is notably weaker than other benefits of a similar theme; a few deities are generous enough to give universal protections from poison and disease, but Angazhan punishes you for going where he cannot tread. Fitting for a tyrant who likes having people under his thumb, but annoying for someone trying to actually extend his reach. In a jungle area, however, it’s MUCH more impressive than it looks in a vacuum; many, many, many, MANY horrors within the deep and mysterious tangles rely on poisons or disease to fell their enemies and their prey, so the added protection will always come in handy!

Boons are acquired slowly: the first once you reach 12 hit dice, the second at 16, and the third at 20. However, the Evangelist, Exalted, and Sentinel Prestige Classes can be entered as early as level 7; doing so grants you the Boons at levels 10, 13, and 16 instead. Servants of demons may also take the Demoniac Prestige Class; you don’t get the Boons any faster than E/E/S, but you may select which Boon set you get, and you get cool demon-related powers!

------- EVANGELIST -------

Boon 1: The Jungle Consumes. Gain Pass Without Trace 3/day, Tree Shape 2/day, or Spike Growth 1/day.

‘Consumes’ indeed; Spike Growth can render a frankly offensive amount of terrain completely inhospitable (ten 20ft squares!), shredding 1d4 HP off every creature trying to pass through a single 5ft square and threatening to halve their movement speed for a full day every time they take damage. As anyone who’s played as or fought against a Druid can attest to, Spike Growth is useful for exactly two things (slowing an enemy’s retreat or advance) but it’s amazing at doing so. The sheer amount of terrain the spell covers and the length of time it covers for (an hour per level) makes useful for stopping everything from a charging dragon to a charging army... provided your foe has less than 4 DR. In order to halve someone’s movespeed they need to actually take damage from the growth AND fail a Reflex save, meaning even the meager DR 5 you’re likely to encounter at levels 10+ is enough to make Spike Growth completely irrelevant.

If you can use it against a foe who’s not immune to it, though, it’s absolutely stellar. Moving through even a single 20ft square triggers four separate Reflex saves to avoid having one’s movespeed halved for a full day, and--as written--the halved speed can’t be undone with Fast Healing or Regeneration, the victim MUST find a Cure spell. Perhaps the biggest downside is that using it to its fullest potential--that is, to cripple a charging swarm of foes--is unlikely to happen, delegating it to crowd control versus a small amount of enemies.

It’s leagues better than the niche Tree Shape, but Pass Without Trace also has its merits, hiding up to 10 people from sniffing noses and prying eyes for half a day, letting you and your allies effortlessly vanish into the foliage. Indeed, all three of these spells are extremely useful in the jungle setting Angazhan demands you remain in, so if you ARE actually hiding around in the Mwangi Expanse, all three of these can be genuine picks depending on if you plan to be a trapper, a stalker, or a sentree that day.

Boon 2: Canopy Crawler. Your feet become prehensile and apelike, allowing them to act as a second pair of hands for every purpose except wielding a shield or weapon, such as to execute somatic components, to aid in climbing, to hold objects, and to maintain your Dexterity bonus to AC while climbing. In addition, you gain a climb speed equal to your walking speed +10, and can attempt a Climb check in place of the following checks: Acrobatics checks to swing or leap between branches and vines; Stealth checks to remain hidden within trees, and you can move at full speed through them without penalty; and Stealth checks to snipe from trees, the penalty for doing so reduced by 10. 

The way this ability is written in the book is kind of a mess, so I tried my best to shuffle it into a more easily digestible form.

Anyway: Freaky monkey feet! For all your freaky monkey feet needs! One of the more unique Boons in the game, and unlike most highly unique Boons, this one is still highly useful! While your handfeet can’t wield weapons or shields, you can use them for more or less anything else while your actual human hands are occupied. Sleight of Hand? No, my friend, I’m on a completely different level.

The big star here is the free climb speed, which automatically gives you a meaty +8 to Climb checks, making the various skill checks it replaces much, much easier to exploit. You become an expert of gorilla... guerrilla... Gorilla Guerrilla Warfare, soundlessly moving from tree to tree and hurling spears or firing arrows with nary a peep but for the whoosh of the weapon through the branches and leaves, moving from position to position as easily as playing hopscotch. Even if you never invested in Stealth at all, you can suddenly pour ranks into Climb and become an ersatz Rogue for the party, leading a silent charge against the foes of the Ravenous King’s cult. 

Side note, this ability combines beautifully with all 3 of the spell-likes from The Jungle Consumes, as your brachiating movements put you above Spike Growth, Pass Without Trace makes you utterly impossible to nonmagically track if you attack at night, and Tree Shape lets you become a horror movie villain that vanishes the instant it appears you’re about to be ‘caught.’

Boon 3: One With The Jungle. While in the jungle, you gain blindsight to a range of 60 feet, you gain a +2 insight bonus to AC and on saving throws, and you are never flat-footed or surprised. You ignore cover and concealment caused by natural features of the jungle, as the very plants and stones twist out of the path of your attacks and spells.

An eternal Diet Foresight if your reward for remaining in the Ravener King’s grip, but this ability--unlike Canopy Crawler--is entirely blank if you adventure outside of your god’s chosen locale, a punishing loss of an otherwise incredibly strong defensive ability. Being impossible to catch by surprise is good enough on its own, especially at levels where enemies can have Sneak Attacks exceeding +4d6, poisons that cause people to hemorrhage ability scores, or fatal grappling embraces, to say nothing of what happens if a spellcaster gets the drop on everyone. The +2 to AC and universal bonus to saving throws will struggle to make a difference, but it’s a rare insight bonus and will thus stack with all your existing bonuses... and, of course, it lasts forever so long as you remain in a jungle.

I enjoy that the jungle will shuffle aside to let you shoot and swat your enemies without penalty, making my ‘treetop sniper’ suggestion in Canopy Crawler even more viable. Now, as long as you can see even the smallest portion of your target, the natural world will bend and sway to avoid your blows so that they always strike true, letting you attack enemies without the possibility of them retaliating unless they begin cutting down the whole jungle... at which point they’ll have much bigger issues than just you.

------- EXALTED -------

Boon 1: Jungle’s Wrath. Entangle 3/day, Bull’s Strength 2/day, or Summon Monster III (1 fiendish ape, 1d3 fiendish advanced baboons, or 1d4+1 fiendish baboons) 1/day.

Bull’s Strength is always nice to have to give the beefy members of your party, giving them an extra +2 to attack and damage rolls for ten or so minutes at a time, among other bonuses. Strength bonuses are some of the most boring but practical things you can hand out, because you never know when you’ll just need to do something as simple as moving a large rock or hit something for 2 more points of damage than normal. Having it at twice a day means it’ll likely carry through the most important battles or puzzles you’ll face.

Entangle, however, tends to be the better option here. See everything I said above about Spike Growth? Paste that here, as well, but trade off the damage for the ability to grapple everything trying to move through the 40ft radius(!) of plantlife you’ve affected. In some ways it’s better than Spike Growth, utterly halting the movement of anyone heading through it if they fail their save rather than halving it, and being difficult terrain even if the victims succeed, which halves their speed anyway.

Seeing summoning abilities on a Boon is usually good, but the painful limitation of only being able to summon various demon apes means it severely lacks its normal Swiss Army application. It’s only really good if you need either a distraction, or something heavy moved, both of which could be accomplished with Entangle and Bull’s Strength without it being tied to a creature with subhuman intelligence. At the very least, apes have humanoid hands and can thus perform tasks very few other summoned creatures could do, such as wielding weapons.

Boon 2: Summon Child of Angazhan. 1/day as a swift action, you can summon an Advanced Fiendish Girallon, 1d3 Advanced Fiendish Dire Apes, or 1d4+1 Advanced Fiendish Apes as if you had cast Summon Monster VI.

In spite of my mockery of the Boon above, the ape restriction here is anything but painful. ... well, it’s painful for anyone who’s not you, mind. An Advanced Fiendish Girallon is a CR 8 monstrosity with enough damage output and resilience from the Fiendish template to punch above its weight class. A Girallon is a four-armed, Large-sized ape beast with five attacks (and Rend!) a round, with enough agility and maneuverability to run down fleeing foes or chase them through just about any terrain easily.

It’s also your best option among the summons; the Dire Apes and normal apes are nice, but the chance of summoning a single Dire Ape or a meager 2 fiend apes means a Girallon is the best go-to unless you need a lot of bodies rather than one large one. The Fiendish template is really what gives this ability the oomph it needs to shrug off most of my criticism of Jungle’s Wrath, granting even your normal apes a bit of Spell Resistance and elemental resistance to Fire and Acid... though, notable, both the normal ape and the Dire Ape have too few HD to gain the advanced benefits of the Fiendish template, and none of the creatures here have high enough Charisma to make the Smite Good ability granted to them useful, even with the +4 to all ability scores from Advanced.

Perhaps the biggest gold star this power has, however, is the fact that it can be used as a swift action. You can instantaneously flank an enemy with a murderous gorilla and then stab them in the back when they rightly turn around to look at said murderous gorilla in disbelief, or you can blast them with another spell, or you can do any number of other things with the distraction you’ve just created. Don’t forget that Summon Monster VI also has a range of Close, letting you hurl a demon gorilla at an enemy from 25+5ft/lvl away. The downside, however, is that SMVI also has a duration of a meager 1 round/lvl, meaning you’ll often run into the issue of saving the use of this ability, often until you no longer need it.

Boon 3: Jungle’s Might. You gain a +2 profane bonus to your Strength score and a +2 bonus on Fortitude saving throws.

Useful but boring. It’s moderately better than most stat-buffing Boons thanks to the additional Fortitude bonus, but final Boons typically give +4 bonuses, not +2. There’s no flash or pizazz here, nothing to really expand upon, so lets move on!

------- SENTINEL -------

Boon 1: Tyrant’s Roar. Gain Command 3/day, Sound Burst 2/day, or Suggestion 1/day.

I almost got mad because I mistook Sound Burst for a different, much worse spell. Nope! That was sonic scream or whatever, one I’m so unimpressed with I didn’t even bother looking it up. Sound Burst is significantly better, anyway, able to stun a small crowd of enemies in a single casting, which is exactly what you--as the Sentinel--want to happen. Either because you’re holding back an enemy(/ies) for your allies to get into place, or because you’re holding them still so you can get in close. The damage it deals is pitiful, but it’s automatic even if they succeed against the stun effect, and you never know when 8 damage to up to a crowd will make a difference!

Like most of Angazhan’s blessings, it gets better if you’re in a jungle, as the hostility of the Mwangi Expanse means invaders are likely to be clustered together as tightly as possible to prevent attacks from all angles. Punish them, hard.

Command is in-character for the Tyrant King, and it rewards creative uses beyond the ‘come,’ ‘stay,’ and ‘drop’ commands, though those serve their purpose well enough. I’m quite partial to KNEEL, which fits Angazhan rather well! The only problem is that its low saving throw scaling means it’s unlikely to affect enemies that matter, and in combat it’s often much better to just rush in and start slapping. Out of combat Suggestion is king, though it’s an odd choice for someone who tends to force people to follow his orders through violence and threats rather than relying on coercive and subtle magic. Personally, I’d let the Face of the party or the dedicated enchanter rely on Suggestion, and carry Sound Burst around for those times you need to explode people’s eardrums.

Boon 2: Reign of Terror. You add your Strength modifier to Intimidate checks (this does not stack with Intimidating Prowess or similar feats and abilities) as well as your Charisma modifier. Once per minute, you may use Intimidate to demoralize a single creature within 30ft as a swift action, or all creatures within 10ft as a move action. When using Intimidate to demoralize a creature in this way, if your result exceeds the DC by 5 or more, the creature is frightened for 1 round and then shaken for the normal duration; if your result exceeds the DC by 10 or more, the creature cowers for 1 round, then is frightened for 1 round, and then is shaken for the normal duration. When you use Intimidate to demoralize an ally, instead of being shaken, that creature gains a +2 morale bonus on attack rolls for the appropriate duration.

While normally Boons are built to be taken advantage of by any class within the margins of those who can enter the Prestige Classes in the first place, sometimes you get one that forces you into a specific path. This one highly, highly rewards having both a high Strength and a high (or at least neutral) Charisma, and focusing a feat or two into making your Intimidate as high as possible can see you sending squadrons of enemy combatants scattering and trampling one another to get away from you. I love, love, LOVE that there’s no per-day use restriction on this power, only that it can be used once per minute, meaning you can bring it out in more or less every fight you encounter.

Exceeding the victim’s Intimidation DC by 10 or more causes them to cower, a status affliction barely above paralysis in how terrible it is to be suffering, opening them up to a whole round of being beat on without any ability to retaliate. Even if they survive the round of helplessness, they’re forced to run from you and use whatever resources they have available to get as far away from you as possible... which can be a blessing or a curse depending on what they were carrying and how badly you wanted it.

Being able to Intimidate a single foe as a swift action or a whole crowd surrounding you as a move action is strong, especially if you can bolster your prowess enough to always score 10 higher than their DC (a challenge, but not an insurmountable one)... And even if your enemies are immune to being intimidated either because they’re mindless, starved, or immune to fear, you can use this ability to give your whole team +2 to attack rolls for 4+ rounds. It’s more of a consolation prize than anything else, but note that the final sentence does not say “in this way,” meaning you can use Intimidate normally without needing the 1/minute bolstering to give your allies a bit more accuracy! Wasteful, but viable!

Boon 3: Unchallenged Tyrant. When you perform your Obedience, designate a number of present and willing creatures equal to your Charisma modifier; these are your Thralls. This designation lasts for 24 hours or until you next perform your Obedience. 3/day, you can infuse all Thralls within 50 feet of you as a swift action, granting them a +4 bonus to their Strength and Constitution scores and a +2 bonus on initiative checks, and granting any teamwork feats you have as bonus feats *for an number of rounds equal to your hit dice. If a Thrall dies within 50 feet of you at any time, you gain the effects of Death Ward (CL = half the Thrall’s Hit Dice, to a maximum of CL 20th).

*this ability originally had no listed duration, making it quite awkward and insanely powerful. I’ve added one that makes sense.

Oh, not bad! Another reward for buffing up your Charisma! Even if it’s just to a +2 bonus! And it’s a fine one, too, letting you enchant your allies with a discounted Barbarian Rage, including a bonus to initiative checks to help them move before your enemies even know what’s happening! THREE TIMES a day!!! And--wait, wait, there’s more? You also transfer ALL your teamwork feats to your Thralls? Teamwork feats are pretty powerful but wholly rely on your allies being willing to give up their own feat slots for them, and they utterly fail to work if you aren’t working together or become separated by enemy shenanigans. This ability (along with the Inquisitor’s Solo Tactics) turns those empty feat slots into something truly game-changing due to applying them to all of your Thralls at once. This means that, even if you don’t or cannot join in the fight, they can still use teamwork with each other, and all you need is one of them to be nearby to make use of feats like Lookout (if one of you can act during the surprise round, all of you can), Precise Strikes (+1d6 damage if you’re flanking an enemy)... or, perhaps the most useful of them, Coordinated Charge, allowing you and your allies to all charge the same target.

It doesn’t take a genius to see why Coordinated Charge is one of the best you can use with this ability, as the +Strength and Con bonus means you can turn even the weakest member of the party into another source of damage however small. It also means all of your melee battlers can get into the fray immediately, and if used in combination with Lookout, it can turn an enemy ambush into a pile of severed limbs and broken armor before they even realize what they’re up against.

I also like that if any of your Thralls die, you get a free Death Ward. If you know you’re going up against a necromancer or an Undead with Energy Drain, making an incredibly weak but tasty-looking creature one of your Thralls and sending them in to die is one less spell slot your Divine caster needs to use on you. I’m amused by the idea of blessing one member of your Sack Of Rats and just crushing it in your hand if you ever need a ward. If you have the Charisma for it, definitely try it out!

You can enter Monkis World here.

[hellyeahheroes]

Playing Doreen Green in Dungeons & Dragons 5E

New year, some bad things out of my system, time to try coming back to regural activities before this year crushes me again. And I know a perfect way. Let’s make a build for d&d, since I haven’t done one of those in a while, using a Marvel character that bings cheers, joy and friendship whenever she goes.

Steve Ditko had an... interesting idea what Squirrel Girl should look like. Funny how people who say modern take on the character disrespects vision of artists who drew her traditionally attractive never seem to think these guys themselves disrespected Ditko’s vision, isn’t it?

Goals: As always I’m lifting the template for this from Tulok the Barbrarian, so let us start with what we actually want from this character. First of all, we need to be able to beat the ever living crap out of everyone. Second, we need to show our foes mercy and hopefully get them to change their ways. Finally, we need an army of squirrels.

Ability Scores: Usually I go with Standard Points Array - 15, 14, 13, 12, 10, 8 - because it is the simplest way. But this built will starve for Ability Score Improvements so I decided to, just like a guy from whom I’m ripping this whole idea from, cave in and use point buy. This will be simple take, however - we will replace standard array’s 14 and 10 with extra 15 and 8 

Strength: 8- not something we need to be honest. Doreen is good at everything but in D&D we need to prioritize the most important things.

Dexterity: 15 - Doreen is quick and swift as some sort of squirrel....girl...

Constitution: 12 - if someone does manage to hit her she can actually take that hit and keep going.

intelligence: 8 - wish it was higher but again, we cannot have everything. Yet.

Wisdom: 15 - Squirrels love you, you have senses of a squirrel, you survived Savage Land like a champ.

Charisma: 13 - your have a thing of talking your enemies out of villainy, as long as no one runs in to kick them in the head while you’re at it, which is rude.

Now for D&D’s equivalent of species, Race. It is unclear if Doreen is a mutant or not but I feel like trying to stray away from Variant Human a bit if we can. There is not enough animal-like things about Doreen to make her a Tabaxi, so we’ll go with Swiftstride Shifter from Eberron. You gain +2 Dexterity and +1 Charisma, Darkvision allowing you to see for 60 feet in dim light as in bright light and in darkness as in dim light, but without being able to discern colors, proficiency in Perception and Acrobatics skills, extra 5 feet of movement, Common, Quori and third language of your choice (pick something campaign relevant) and an abilitty to shift into more bestial form as a bonus action, granting you temporary hit points equal your level + your Constitution modifier, another extra 5 feet of movement and an abilitty to move 10 feet away without provoking opprtunitty attacks as a reaction whenever an enemy ends their movement next to you.

Backgorund: Build a custom one for skills in Animal Handling and Persuasion, none they offer speaks to me.

Class levels: We will start as a Monk, gaining proficiency in Strength and Dexterity saving throws, simple weapons, shortswords, a set of artisan tools of your choice and two skills - Athletics and Stealth would be my pick.

1st Level Monks gain Unarmored Defense and Martial Arts, which all work as long as you’re not wearing armor or carrying a shield. As we see from the picture above, it would be hard to call a jacket and shorts an armor. You can add your Wisdom (WIS) modifier to your Armor Class alongside yoru Dexterity (DEX) modifier, you can substitute your DEX in place of Strength for attack and damage rolls of your unarmed attacks and you roll a d4 for the damage and you can spend your bonus action to make an additional unarmed attack. You can also use simple weapons that aren’t two handed or heavy and still get these bonuses

2nd Level Monks gain Ki Points, whose number is equal to your Monk level and replenishes on short or long rest. You can spend 1 ki point to make two unarmed attacks as a bonus action or take Dodge or Disengage actions as a bonus action. You also get unarmored Movement, meaning that when not wearing armor your speed busts up to additional +10 feet.

There is an option for Monk to also gain an additional abbility allowing you to between each long rest choose one martial weapon that isn’t heavy or special and you’re profficient with to treat as a monk weapon. This isn’t something Squirrel Girl would use, I’m only bringing it up because it was added in a book Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything. Tasha, also known as Iggwilv, is considered one of greatest villains in d&d. So it’s a good think Doreen has this whole thing about befriending and trying to reform villains because from next level on we’re gonna be best friends with Tasha and her cauldron. Consider Tasha your Kraven.

3rd Level: We will switch to a Ranger, getting proficiency in Knowledge Nature and we will grab variant Ranger features from that Cauldron. Deft Explorer makes you Canny, doubling proficiency bonus you add to one of your skills, I’d go with Persuasion so that you can convince people like Kraven to switch sides.

You also get Favored Foe - it lets you mark an enemy you hit with an attack for 1 minute or until you break a concentration check (as with spells, it is a Constitution Saving throw you make while taking damage, you need to beat either 10 or a number equal half of damage dealt to you, whichever is higher, or you lose focus). During this itme whenever you hit the target for the first time in a turn you deal an extra 1d4 of damage. You can mark a foe total number of times equal your prficiency modifier betwen each long rest.

4th Level: 2nd Level Ranger can choose a Fighting Style. Let us reach to that Cauldron and grab Unarmed Fighting, which lets your fists deal 1d6 + your Strength modifier damage, 1d8 if you use two hands and 1d4 a turn to a creature you’re grappling.

You may wonder why we picked it if we already have Martial Arts? Well, let us talk about Rules as Intended (RAI) vs Rules as Written (RAW) - the idea that the way rules in a game are written may not necessairly reflect what the author wanted and reason behind many, many, many rules debates in history of RPGs. As Intended you should use your Martial Arts dice with your Martial Arts attacks but as written there is nothing saying you have to. Talk with your DM  how they feel about it and if  they side with RAW, you can now deal damage like 11th level Monk - 1d8+your DEX modifier. If not, grab Blind-Fighting, which makes your senses so good you can effectively “see” creatures within 10 feets of you even if you’re blinded or in darkness and even notice invisible creatures who aren’t succesfully rolling stealth to hide. Only total cover (like, a wall) stops this, giving you some sweet Squirrel Senses.

Remember when Doreen beat Wolverine? I do.

2nd Level Rangers also get to learn spells. You know two spells of 1st level and have two spell slots you can spend every long rest to cast them.

Longstrider for 1 hour adds 10 feet to your speed. For those keeping track at home that’s now 50 feet while shifting.

Hunter’s Mark requires a concentration but let’s you as a bonus action mark a target and deal it extra 1d6 damage on every hit you deal it and have an advantage on Perception and Survival checks to find it for the next hour or until you break concentration. It it drops to 0 hit points on your next turn you can move it to another target as a bonus action. It’s Favored Foe but better. Mostly because Favored Foe originally was just Hunter’s Mark but many players felt it was too powerful and asked Wizards of the Coast to nerf it in official surveys. To the utter bafflement of everyone who discuss this game online. If I felt more political I’d make a joke this is the first case ever of silent majority being a thing but after last 4 years I cannot force myself to make it funny.

5th level: 3rd Level Monks can Deflect Missiles, letting you use your reaction to catch a ranged attack that would hit you, reducing its damage by 1d10+your Monk Level+your DEX Modifier. If you reduce damage to zero you can spend a Ki Point to send it back at the attacker, making ranged attack treating missile as a thrown monk weapon you’re proficient with.

You also get too chose Monastic Tradition and Way of Mercy from Tasha’s Cauldron will let you both show mercy to your enemies and kick some more ass. You gain Proficiency in Medicine and Insight, letting you read on villains what problems may haunt them and how to help. You also get Hands of Healing, which let you for one Ki Point as an action heal a creature an amount of hit points you roll on your Martial Arts die. You can also not spend a Ki point and replace one of your Flurry of Blows attacks with this. Doreen is kind enough to help patching up beaten enemies. Also, Hit Points aren’t meat points, they can reflect someone’s will to fight. So I don’t see why you shouldn’t use it to cheer your allies up if their spirits are down - Doreen is cheerful and friendly, she is a delight to have on a team and is sure to keep the morale up. Flavor it as a good pat on the back from your Squirrel-loving pal.

Also, you get Hands of Harm. Letting you once per turn and for one Ki Point deal extra necrotic damage on a single attack, its number equal your Martial Arts Die+ Your Wisdom Modifier.

6th Level: 4th level Monks get an Ability Score Improvement, add +1 to your Dexterity and Wisdom, and Slow Fall, letting you reduce amount of damage you take from a fall by five times your Monk level. You can refluff this as gliding down on your flying squirrel gear.

Wish it could help me find better version of this appriopriate picture.

7th Level: 5th Level Monk gets an Extra Attack, letting you attack twice as a part of your action. You also get Stunning Strike, letting you spend a ki point to make the target suceed a Constitution saving throw or be stunned until end of your next turn. And your Martial Die bumps up to 1d6 - we do not use it for Unarmed attack but we do use it for other stuff, so keep a track on it.

8th Level; 6th Level Monks’ strikes become magical for the purpose of overcoming damage resistance and immunities.  Also, your Unarmored Movement bumps up by another 5 fee, it’s not total of 55 feet of movement.

Way of Mercy gets Physician’s Touch, which also let’s you remove a single  blinded, deafened, paralyzed, poisoned, or stunned condition from a creature you use Healing Hands on or apply poisoned condition to target of your Hands of Harm. No idea how that works. I mean maybe Doreen punches someone so hard they get nausea? And knows first aid?

9th Level; 7th Level Monks get Evasion, meaning that when you make a Dexterity Saving Throw to avoid damage, if the effect says you take half damage when you suceed, you instead take none. You also get Stillness of mind, letting you end one effect causing you to be charmed or frightened on yourself. Makes sense, Doreen clearly is not afraid of anything or anyone.

10th Level: 3rd Level Rangers gain an additional Spell Slot, an additional Spell and one extra Spell from Primal Awarenes class feature - that last one you can cast once per long rest without spending a spell slot. 

You also get to pick Ranger Conclave. Swarmkeeper can summon a swarm of squirrels to aid you in combat. Whenever you hit an enemy with an attack you can dicide to make Squirrels bit them for an extra 1d6 piercing damage, force that enemy to make a Strength saving throw or be pushed away from you by 15 feet or have yourself moved up to 5 feet in any direction except up or down. You also get Mage Hand cantrip, except made of squirrels and an extra Spell you know. So for full list of spells you get:

Jump Triples your jump distance, it lasts for 1 minute with no concentration.

Speak with Animals let’s you talk to animals for 10 minutes, also no concentration required.

Faerie Fire let’s you set up lights on a 20-foot cube, making lal creatures in it roll Dexterity saving throws or be outlined, nuliffiling invisibility and giving everyone attacking them an advantage. Sadly, it requires concentration.

Mage hand can let you make a hand out of Squirrels that can carry objects no heavier than 10 pounds and do viarious tasks except for attacking or activating magical items. But this is effectively you sending a pack of Squirrels on an important quest.

11th Level: 8th Level Monks get an Ability Score Improvement, cap your Dexterity.

12th Level: 9th level Monks can now move on vertical surfaces and walk on water like Jesus as long as they don’t end their turn there. Which is good since canonically Doreen is a poor swimmer.

13th Level: 10th Level Monks gain Purity of Body, making Doreen so powerful she can punch poison and disease away from her body. I’m sure she’s still social distancing AND SO SHOULD YOU!

14th Level: 11th Level Monks' Martial Dice bumps to d8 and Way of Mercy let’s you now replace all of your Flurry of Blows attacks with healing and neither that nor touch of harm cost you ki points anymore. You can still only do the latter once each turn.

15th Level: I was sitting on 4th level of Ranger for so long, we’re taking it now for an Ability Score Improvenet....or rather a Feat. Magic Initiate let’s us learn two cantrips and a 1st level spell from the Wizard Spell list we can cas once per long rest.

Prestidigitation let’s you do small things more for mood than anything else, you can fluff it as squirrels helping you.

Message let’s you send someone a message only they can hear and let’s them reply. It’s your phone, basically.

Find Familiar allows us to conjure a squirrel that we can talk to telepatically or see through its eyes. It cannot attack but it can flank and take help action to give us an advantage on attack rolls and when it dies it doesn’t, instead it vanishes until you cast this spell again.. We can even decide to see through its eyes. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, we have Tippy Toe!

Tasha also grants you Martial Versitality, allowing you to change Unarmed Fighting to Blind-Fighting now that your Martial Arts Die caught up to it. This is the reason we waited so long for this level.

Level 16: 12th Level Monks get an Ability Score Improvement, invest in Wisdom for better Hands of Healing and Harm and Unarmed Defense.

Level 17: 13th Level Monks get Tongue of Sun and Moon, meaning you can now speak any language. I have no idea how in character it is but I could see Doreen learning extra languages to make more friends.

Level 18: 14 level Monks get Diamond Soul making you proficient in all saving throws. And you can spend a ki point to rerol a failed saving throw. Meaning now you can more or less tank everything bad guys throw at you, fireballs, Hold Persons, shove action.... And your Unarmored movement increases one last time, giving you speed of 75 feet.

Level 19: 15th Level Monks get Timeless Body, making you immune to effects of aging and no longer needing food or water to live. I kinda struggled to justifyu this one, then I remembered old Squirrel Girl from the future who is still kicking butts so here, you can now grow up to be her

Level 20: We will finish on 16th level of Monk and final Ability Score Improvement to round up Wisdom.

Before we go further let me take a moment to address possible alternatives Variant Human could let you grab Tippy Toe at first level and grab a Tough Feat. 

3 levels in College of Rhetorics Bard could allow you to be really good at talking to people by making you unnable to roll lower than a 10 on Persuasion, Bardic Inspiration you could use to both support your allies and make your enemies worse with unsettling words, an extra skill, expertise in two more skills and spells like Calm Emotions, Enchance Ability, Heroism, Animal Friendship, Vicious Mockery and  Tasha’s Hideous Laughter for puns. But I admit I could not fit them in any way that didn’t feel awkward, they did not mesh well with everything else and cost too much other features I wanted. If you want to go this way I recommend being Variant Human, taking Magic Initiate at first level and putting those Bard levels after Swarmkeeper Ranger ones, final build would be Monk 14/Ranger 3/Bard 3. Both this and previous bullet point would be fully legal under Adventurer’s League “you can use Player’s Handbook and one other book” rule.

Another option were two levels of Rogue for Expertise in Nature and Animal Handling and Cunning Action to decrease your Ki Points economy problem. 

Finally I didn’t go for Path of the Beast Barbarian despite it letting you grow tail because that tail stabs people - something your do not.

Anyway, time for Overview:

Pros: First of all, Mobility. you have movement of up 75 feet, meaning with dash you can move 150 and with double dash 225 feet in one turn, ways to move out of enemy range and even move up walls or over water. Second, you make a lot of attacks and between Hunter’s Mark, Swarmkeeper and Hands of Harm can deal consistent damage and you have Tippy Toe to ensure you keep hitting. Finally you’re plucky heart of the team/backup healer, pretty good Party Face and a skill squirrel, making you a very good party member, someone others benefit from very much.

Cons: Your HP is somewhere below 140, which means that only vew hits or one big need to hit for you to be in Power Word Kill range.  Second, your Intelligence and Strength are low enough you may fail some nasty saving throws even with Diamond Soul. Finally you have a lot of abilities that use Ki Points and Ranger spells that regenerate only on long rest, meaning you may run out of resources pretty fast if you’re not careful. 

Overall, however, I do think this is a good build. You’re hard to hit, you hit hard, you unleash fury of squirrels on your foes and you can take care of yourself. Just remember you have many abilities that benefit your allies and play a very social character - d&d is a game best enjoyed as a social one - get some friends and fight evil.

-Admin

[crystalnet]

Top 5 007 Films

Click through for the definitive guide to the crème de la crop of the greatest spy-thriller saga in all of film history!

#1. North By Northwest (1959)- A staggering achievement for every artist and performer involved. Directed by peak middle-period Hitchcock, and written by Ernest Lehmen, this production stands as a defining role for both Carey Grant and Eva Marie Saint alike. Released only 6 years after the inception of agent 007 (still a creature of spy-thriller novels at this point, another 4 years out from the silver-screen debut), Grant’s performance would leave an indelible mark on the collective unconscious and would surely go on to influence the likes of Connery’s own portrayal years later. 

Case-and-point for why Grant excels here is his undeniably amorphous quality. Sure he’d proven his sheer on-screen magnetism for decades by this point, but the dynamic quality of his “character arc”--as the kids like to call it-- in this film speaks for itself. He goes effortlessly from buffoonish in the introductory and more comical part of the movie, to suave and inter-personally-entangled in the middle third, to finally making good on all the romancing and endangerment that the character is thrust into by the final frame. 

Meanwhile Eva Marie Saint undergoes multiple transformations herself-- a feat pulled off by both her deft acting and the writing/directing alike. She sets a precedent for Bond fatales that isn’t fulfilled for years and years by Bond’s own franchise in that she maintains complexity-- and more importantly agency--  until the last. 

Lastly, Hitchcock himself with Lehmen’s script is able to craft a narrative with visual thrust which balances humor, tension and pacing better than most of his very finest productions. The well-loved cropduster chase-scene is a masterclass in tension and directorial pyrotechnics, and all the heartbreak and salacious revelations that unfold from that moment onward seal the deal for this film as pure unmatched brilliance. 

#2 Charade (1963)- A year after Connery’s debut as Bond, a lighter thriller shows a possible alternate-universe for the franchise; one in which Carey Grant maintains his stranglehold on the archetype in lieu of the mad Scotsmen himself. 

Director Stanley Donen and writer Peter Stone, clearly taking some inspiration from Hitchcock’s work with Grant, tease out one of the actor's greatest performances in the process, and similarly to North By Northwest, it has equal-parts to do with Grant’s acting as it does the air-tight screenplay and the myriad twists and turns found within. 

If North By Northwest starts from a hijinks-ridden tone and works its way towards spy-thriller seriousness, Charade stays madcap and light-hearted throughout its runtime, while only hinting at the tension and stakes that one would come to be accustomed to glimpsing in a proper 007 endeavor. 

The fantastic chemistry between Audrey Hepburn and Grant throughout maintains an emotional center around which a whole satellite of criminal and comic figures can orbit in perfect narrative symmetry. 

The suspension of clarity when it comes to the nature of Grant’s character might be the ideal pocket from which this renowned thespian operates from, keeping both the audience and Hepburn’s character guessing until the final moments of the runtime. And as the mystery unfolds, Donen is sure to center Paris itself as the immaculate stage from which all of this cinematic pleasure plays out. 

#3- To Catch a Thief (1955)- This film may have traces of North By Northwest-in utero (with plenty more influence for Charade in store), but it's still a phenomenon of its own kind. Hitchcock, working from a John Michael Hayes-penned screenplay is able to catalyze a wholly different kind of thriller from what he’d go on to accomplish with Grant later, and the elusive, mysterious atmosphere would have echoes in masterworks such as Vertigo just a few years later. 

While the plot-beats and the atmosphere may differ heavily from North, the strange twists and turns of Grant and Grace Kelly's characters echo that of Grant and Saint’s roles in the aforementioned film, if perhaps in inverse. Grace Kelly brilliantly-- and a bit psychotically-- somersaults from the role of a mute wallflower, to a coy would-be detective and thrill-seeker, to that of a scorned-- if confused-- romantic throughout the runtime; finally settling as a willing participant to Carey Grant’s ex-cat burglar escapades. Grant’s character is anything but the everyman that he would go on to portray in North, while Kelly’s is far more complex-- and potentially much more unlikeable-- than her character in the then newly minted classic Rear Window.

The coastal French Riviera is the setting for this reverse caper in which nothing is as it seems and everything is worth questioning. The script has aged a bit more roughly than other Hitchock masterworks, but the atmosphere-- well supplied by the natural beauty of the Riviera and the green-tint filter of Hitchcock’s nocturnal lens alike-- are a fantastic foundation on which Grant and Kelly flex their adroit acting chops. Grant-- here a still-lithe middle-aged career-criminal-- holds every card except that of Kelly’s heart, and that romantic tension alone sustains the pacing expertly. 

#4- The IPCRESS File (1965)- Tracking down a blu-ray for this early spy-thriller classic is tough but, hey, Michael Caine as the thinking-man’s Bond? Sign me up! 

#5 From Russia with Love (1963)- Okay, okay, I give. I’ll give you freaks what you want. A taste of legitimate MI6 realness. This is the grade-A real deal, and it may not feature the stabilized quality-control of Roger Moore’s era or the unwieldy set-pieces of the Brosnan/Craig eras (or the darkness of Dalton’s stint) but it is the follow-up to the premiere of Bond as we know it, and its influence would ripple out for over half a century and counting. 

If the previous years’ Dr. No was a test-run, then Russia was proof-of-concept and more. Connery--now equipped with the toupeé he so quickly developed a need for between productions of his premiere as Bond and this--rises to the occasion and makes good on the promise of the first film and then some. 

In this outing, we find a lot of ‘firsts’ for the long-lived series: the first gadgets, the first larger-than-life villains and the first-- if not long-lived in this case-- signature vehicles. While the Bentley Mark IV would soon be replaced, the other tropes start to take root. The first sequel in a decades-long series has a lot of responsibility to shoulder in terms of solidifying what aspects of the series will continue ad infinitum, after all, and From Russia largely does a fantastic job of it. 

Daniela Bianchi-- an actor too Italian to not be dubbed reportedly-- does an excellent job as an early Bond-movie heroine with some depth, but is outshone largely by Kerim Bay, played by phenomenal Mexican actor Pedro Armendáriz. 

Armendáriz as a British consulate in Istanbul makes a fantastic second-fiddle to Connery’s Bond and fills shoes that often aren’t filled at all-- those of a proper side-kick’s, if not mentor’s that is. His role along with the equally show-stopping villain-de-juor Donald Grant, played by an incredibly menacing Robert Shaw, are the highlights here. 

Indeed, his fight-scene with Connery in a train-car towards the end is one of the unique pinnacles of the film and sets high standard for future showdowns. Elsewhere, we find many of the highs that we’ve come to associate with the series at large: rollicking adventure, suave and shady dealings, tension abound et al. And also some of the lows: indeed, towards the middle we find a belly-dancing scene and a Romani cat-fighting scene in close succession which both exemplify the detached misogyny that often factors into much of early Bond. This, on some level, must be expected from the series I suppose-- a transgression readily accepted by actual 007 films yet not found in any of the progenitors that rank higher on my own list, alas. 

Following the fantastic fight-scene-- a culmination of shenanigans in Istanbul and Connery’s budding-yet-relunctant romance with Bianchi-- we have a North By Northwest homage, except with a helicopter in place of a cropduster, as well as the destruction of a sex-tape of Connery and Bianchi, and that's pretty much the movie! It’s almost a perfect Bond flick.

Runner-ups:

Goldfinger (1964)- Incredibly cast and acted villain, an extended golfing sequence and the debut of the iconic, tricked-out Aston Martin DB5 many would come to associate with the Connery-era films. Sure there’s a bit of rape, but it was the 60s! (so sorry)

[Also the original 'Casino Royale' (1967) and 'A Fish Called Wanda' (1988) almost made the list.]

The man with the golden touch, indeed. Sorry for trolling so hard and.... Bond forever~

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 512

Looking for a way to spend Mother’s Day? Well, we here at Outlander have the perfect idea! Celebrate with the women you love by watching us gang rape grannie!

This episode is like the perfect storm of everything that is wrong with Outlander. The cast and crew saying it’s their strongest episode yet when it’s basically artsy gang rape. The CYA trigger warnings when the story would have worked perfectly well without including yet another rape. The kool aid-drinking fans yelling at and acting holier than thou at the fans who rightfully call out the massive problem this show has with rape and assault. The fans yelling at other fans because It’S iN tHe BoOk so it has to be included. The fans yelling at other fans for wanting to follow the books but not wanting rape every 0.5 seconds. The fans yelling at other fans to fuck off if they don’t like the show. The women in the cast throwing out trigger warnings while the men are radio silent or wanting the gladiators to face the plague and fight for their own amusement. It literally has everything.

And I am tired.

I’ve been in this fandom for six years and have had quite a journey. From first discovering the show and immediately devouring the books. The honeymoon period where I could headcanon out all the problematic bits. The getting deep into the fandom nonsense. The getting out of the fandom nonsense. The judging the fandom nonsense because it’s funny and they’re all idiots. The getting sick of the fandom nonsense because it’s not even fun to judge the dummies anymore. The becoming more and more aware that it’s impossible to whistle past the problems in the books and the show. The sticking around, holding out hope things might turn around and the initial magic could be recaptured. And finally, the giving up.

The books are trash. The show is trash. There are a handful of good scenes in each which can be enjoyed on their own, but as a whole, holy shit this stuff is not good. (Seriously, I tried to do a Fiery Cross reread before the season started. I started like a year ago and am still only at Jocasta’s wedding because I just don’t care enough to actually get through it.)

Which brings us here. I am tired. I have already ranted and raged and yelled and swore and wrote far too many words about the gratuitous overuse of rape in the Outlanderverse. It fucking has its own tag for fuck’s sake.

So here’s a recap. And then I think I’m done looking at this show in detail. Not because the idiot fans insist on coming to my notes to tell me to fuck off if I don’t like the show. Not because the crew are condescending douchecanoes. Not because the author is a misogynist garbage heap. But because spending an hour of my time for a few weeks out of the year to write these things isn’t worth it. I did it for as long as I did because it took so little time. So why not? But yeah, it’s not even worth that tiny commitment anymore.

And to the people who I know will @ me about how no one was forcing me to stick around and I could have quit any time, yeah, no shit captain obvious, I know that. Fuck off already. I stuck around because I really liked the little corner of the fandom that I’d found. I made some awesome friends. Most of those friends have since quit the fandom. I’m really glad to have them in my life outside of this little corner of the internet. And it was a fun writing exercise. I don’t really like the show anymore, but I enjoyed building an argument about why I don’t like it and think it’s bad that has valid points behind it. Especially considering how blindly overly adoring a bunch of the fandom is about it. But now I think I’d rather consume Outlander content as pretty people in pretty period costumes in gifsets. Or like, on in the background but not really paying close attention. Why not quit altogether? Because to quote the great Ron Swanson (I’m halfway through a Parks rewatch and I just love that show a lot ok.), I can do what I want. And besides, there’s like a fucking library’s worth of fics that I haven’t read and have been meaning to. And I like the characters enough to want to keep reading about them in stories that are better than the canon. (Bless you fic writers, blesssss.)

So. Was this whole ramble self-indulgent and overly serious for a fucking TV show? Absofuckinglutely. But please see the aforementioned Swansonism.

Alright, fuckos. Let’s do this.

This is a Roberts brainchild, isn’t it. *checks credits* Yup. Knew it. This feels very much like a Roberts special. In that he is probs quite pleased with himself but like, it’s crap.

Yes, we ARE doing ANOTHER rape story! But look! It’s a disassociation montage! It’s the ‘60s, get it?! There are callbacks! An orange from the king in season 2! A vase from season 1! A rabbit from season 3! An amber-looking dragonfly! Jamie with the young hair spouting off book lines! ApPrEcIaTe MuH aRt! We are so good at finding new and creative ways to rape our characters! Fuck off, twatwaffle. You are the worst.

Like, does Roger feel left out at this point? He’s only been hanged. Literally everyone else has either been raped, been sexually assaulted, or been threatened with rape and/or sexual assault.

“But it’s not gratuitous! Look! They’re all so different! Jamie’s was overly graphic and he got a half a season to brood about! We manged to not show much of Fergus’ (but still showed a thrust) because he’s a child and it was just a plot device for Jamie and not actually about him! Mary’s was about Fred! Claire’s with the king was about Jamie! Jamie’s with Geneva was shot like p0rn! Marsali being threatened by the sailors was to motivate Fergus! Bree’s was about the other people in the room and Roger! Claire’s really has no purpose because she’s already been kidnapped and beaten, and that is super traumatic, and we’re gonna wrap it up with a bow by the end of the episode!”

This fucking show, guys. This fucking show.

Bonus points* for the Black character spouting off the superstitious stuff.

*By bonus points I mean this show, and the books are absolute shit on matters of race. The books especially.

The cast and crew have 100% heard everyone’s thoughts on the overuse of rape in the Outlanderverse. And their response has been to include more and more of it. We had a whole season of one character’s arc being about her rape and literally as soon as that was resolved, they gang rape another character. It really does tell you as much as you need to know about them. Lazy. Fucking. Cowards.

Kidnapping not enough trauma? Let’s add some gang rape! Gang rape not enough trauma? Let’s add visualizing that your daughter and grandchild are dead! Just like Fred died! This show really brings trauma p0rn to a whole new level.

Called the Bree and Roger shit.

This scene with the men rallying to go save Claire is like another layer of fuck you. Bree, you stay home, men, give your hero lines and let’s have a getting ready montage. Because your hero moment is what this is really all about. And your manpain about killing someone. *screams into a pillow*

The petty side of me is happy that it was Fergus and Young Ian who are with Claire when they find her and not Roger. Her two sons...

Why yes, I am judging all of the fans who like get their panties all wet over Jamie being like “It is I who kills for her.” Like “yeah go ahead and rape and beat Claire within an inch of her life if it means the big strong man gets to come in and save her and say something intense.” Fuck off and go take a hard look at yourself and what that says about you.

“Was there an Indian there?” “Nope, he wouldn’t help you because LiOnEl but somehow was able to peace out when it was in his interest. Because he is as bad as the ones who actually raped you.”

The Bree and Claire hug makes me both sad and angry. I want to hug them both and take them out of this fucking place and tell them that they’ve been done dirty and deserved fucking better from the writers.

Glad Marsali gets in on the hug. Claire’s two remaining daughters.

Claire’s “I have fucking survived” speech is like the one time she she actually talks about herself not in relation to a man. It’s about her. Claire. HOWEVER! It is epically fucked up that a woman needs to check off all the trauma she’s endured to show she’s a strong character.

So. Fucked. Up.

The fact that we’re spending time on Roger’s manpain about killing someone also really tells us a lot about the show’s feelings toward women. Yeah, killing someone is a big deal. It’s normal and expected to have feelings about it. But the juxtaposition of Claire’s speech about all of her traumas with Roger being like yeah, I killed a guy who had kidnapped, beaten and raped your mom is like, read the room, bro/writers.

The fact that the men put Claire’s rapist in her surgery, her space, her place of healing, where she is able to be most herself, makes me want to punch each and every one of them in the throat. Like seriously. Fuck each and every one of them.

Also Lionel is like cartoonishly terrible. Not that nuance has ever been this show’s strong suit. But like come the fuck on.

Marsali killing Lionel is the one thing about this episode that I didn’t hate. The men are all like “We kill for Claire! Let’s all rally in this montage and go do the manly thing of defending the woman!” Marsali is just like, yeah, that’s my Ma you fucked with. She shows some agency. She doesn’t do it in a performative way for the other men or for Claire like the guys do. She just knows this fuck needs to die, knows it’s gonna be hard for her and might damn her soul (don’t worry Marsali, all that religion crap is bullshit), and does it anyway.

Marsali’s arc has been my favorite of this whole fucking series. The one bright spot I was hanging on to all of this season especially.

Her quick scene with Jamie doesn’t bother me like Roger’s does. Because Roger is like oh no, I killed a guy! Can you forgive me? For killing a rapist? Like fuck off, bro. And Marsali is like yeah, I killed a guy. I hope I’m not damned for it, but the guy needed to die so I did it.

Also like, Richard had potential to not be cartoonishly bad. But like nope. “He reaped what he sowed, but cLeArLy I’m gonna need to escalate this further. Because manly men can’t let shit go.”

Fuck all men, tbh.

*googles how to emigrate to Themyscira*

Jamie’s speech that’s like supposed to parallel Claire’s can fuck all the way off. Giving him the last voice over just underscores how this was all about men. Not Claire. But the men. Fuuuuck everything.

Look! Everything’s fine again! Back to normal! Peaceful for a bit! With a cheesy af on the nose storm coming! So you know something bad’s coming! In case you forgot!

And Jamie got a book line. So it’s all good now.

And don’t worry about Claire, y’all. She feels safe now. Her and Jamie fucked it out.

It’s amazing, in retrospect, that I ever let this story suck me in so much.

Happy Mother’s Day! See you on the other side of the hiatus.

[heartlessconviction]

Kingdom Hearts: Melody of Memory. Pleasantly surprised however not worth £60

So I’ve beaten Melody of Memory and I’ll be the first to say, it surprises me just how fun this game is. I am not fond of Rhythm games to begin with and as you may already know I am exceedingly critical when it pertains to the KH series as a whole. I think most of the games are flawed in a game design and mechanical standpoint. And I’ll be bold enough to say the series has been getting progressively worse since KH2FM dropped in 2007. Re:Mind redeemed KH3 somewhat yet we are 11 patches in and Guard is still fucking broken so you be the judge there.  There really isn’t much I can say since the gameplay really doesn’t have any level of depth towards it, you hit the notes on time with the beat essentially. You have a melee attack which is placed onto the 2 bumpers and one face button, you need all 3 since at some point you will need to hit notes simultaneously. The most depth you will get is in the Gliding and avoiding attacks, upon the track some heartless will try to hit you and by jumping over these it counts as a beat in any given song, you will also need to utilize the jump since certain heartless can only be hit whilst in the air. At parts in a song you will also need to glide and manouver your character into green notes, but the same basic rule of thumb applies here.  Later in the game you will come across deep dives and boss fights, which force you to also use the analogue stick to hit notes, but at the end of the day you are just tackling a song. The amvs that play are pretty scripted and in these segments they can become extremely distracting as the notes tend to blend in with the video in the background. This only applies to the Deep Dives and the boss fights, but it can become a pain in the arse when you miss a note due to a white flash lingering within the video and it tricks you to press the button a tad early.  In terms of story the game is pretty bareboned, I will say this now. If you are playing this game strictly for the story and you have no interest in the Rhythm game genre. Save yourself 60 dollars, the new story content is held towards the end of the 8 hour campaign, for the rest of it Kairi is pretty much summarizing the events of the Xehanort Saga. Poorly I might add as so much context is stripped away from these summaries. If this is your first KH game, do not go into this expecting to understand the events of the previous Saga. These summaries are designed to pad out game time, they do not serve as passable representations of the last 15 years of the series.  There are far more effecient ways to experience the story as a newcomer via The Story So Far HD Collection Bundle. MoM fails heavily in this regard. {I’m not going to go into depth on the new Story content as this isn’t a spoiler review or anything.} In terms of playable characters you have 4 teams, consisting of 12 characters as a whole. A Sonic Heroes predicament, all of the characters function the same and whatever miniscule difference they have is strictly cosmetic. At some point in a few worlds you will have guest characters with you, but again they function the same.  A disappointing aspect of this Team System is that the Team Members are locked and with no ways to customize them, perhaps mods for the Switch will fix this. However for the base game each member is locked into a particular team, so you are unable to change them around.  For example you cannot put Sora, Roxas and Xion within the same team. I do not understand why this hasn’t been included as timeline plotholes cannot be used as an excuse, as you can face any of the bosses with any of the teams. So you could have Team Days face off against KH1 Ansem. Admitingly its a small omittance since the teams are merely cosmetic. Yet as we know cosmetics whilst insignicant to the gameplay itself does hold merit to a games content and overall value when it pertains to replayability and customizability.  Teams and Team Members:  Team Classic: Sora, Donald and Goofy Team Days: Roxas, Axel and Xion Team 3D: Riku and Dream Eaters Team BBS: Aqua, Ventus and Terra The song selection is something I adore and hate at the same time, you have classics such as:  Sanctuary Simple and Clean The 13th Dialema The other Promise Another Side/Another Story {Deep Dive} Vector To the Heavens Even One-Winged Angel makes an apperance. Yet there is a shocking absence of KH3 representation, you have Let it go and a few other songs. {Around 8 in total}  But considering the fact I actually prefer a lot of the KH3 variations of the songs its disappointing they didn’t make the cut. Especially the masterpieces from the Re:Mind DLC. Above all of that for a lot of the songs they use the original PS2 renditions rather than the remastered variations from the HD remixes which... Why? They are inferior in comparison imo.  Even so, Let it Go in japanese is fire.  As a whole this game surprised me, but I do not think for a second that its worth the 60 quid asking price. Its amazing to have a homage to all of these amazing tunes from the series thus far, nevertheless for the story content whilst it isn’t as halve arsed as Re:Coded. Its not enough to justify the price tag. Rhythm games are not for everybody and that is perfectly fine, people aren’t getting upset because KH has a Rhythm game. They take issue with the fact lore is locked behind the paywall, and yes whilst you can just watch the cutscenes on youtube like most of us do with Union cross and Dark Road, it just isn’t the same experience that you would get from experiencing the cutscenes yourself after a tough challenge. If this game was 30, which I whole heartedly believe it should have been. I would be a tad warmer in my critique.  Unfortunately that isn’t the case, from a gameplay standpoint this is truly a quality product. Its just overpriced, now if they included the KH3 songs and the Re:Mind songs within the base product maybe that would shift my stance, however I have a suspicion they are going to try and milk those for DLC. If not great but it just feels like something Square would do at this point. No Simple and Clean Ray of Hope Mix is not included. Yeah, it baffles me as well.  The conclusion in which I will sign off with is this. Despite my feelings on the games price tag, It has succeded in fundamentally changing the approach in which I listen to music going forth. Upon playing this overtime my brain slowly started to recognize the patterns and began to pick up on the subtle nuances that the majority of these songs contain. Small features of a particular track you wouldn’t even think about on a casual listen can be indispensible in building up to the grander narrative of a song, the slightest of mistakes can cause the melody as a whole to fall flat and this was something I had to come to grips with and adapt to when going for the full chains.  Even now when I listen to songs in my free time, these small details are easier to notice and I feel that I am presented with a whole new experience with some of my favourite Songs. It is like I am truly experiencing them for the first time once more and that is something I will forever attribute to this game. 

[dontasktheradiodemon]

Makeup Session

Follow-up to a discussion (link to part of it) where @sluttyspiderpolkacock agreed to trade some venison sausage to Alastor if he agreed to get in drag. And then this follow-up discussion. So Alastor showed up at Angel’s room to get his makeup done, and also preemptively sulk about the fact that Angel thought he didn’t WANT his makeup done.

Angel

Something felt off. Tone was hard to read through text. It certainly didn't hold a candle to Angel's forte reading the body, but he was nonetheless possessed by conscience to descend the grand stairway to collect the aforementioned head from the freezer. Much as it shook him to his core to be using his precious palettes on the thing ( _mental as well as physical in the sense that he couldn't help feeling Vaggie's same shiver when the eyes locked on him_ ) , the spider found himself blending the finishing touches off a perfect cadaver's smoky eye before reaching for a radio. " Hey Smiles, if ya up, getcha grinnin' mug in 'ere. I got somethin' ta show ya. "

Alastor

Instead of responding, the radio crackles and plays a stanza of a 50s song with a female singer: “* Now if I call him on the telephone, and tell him that I'm all alone, by the time I count from one to four, I hear him knock, knock, knock, knock on my door—*”

Knock, knock, knock, knock. It’s the Radio Demon.

https://youtu.be/MeT9Glm_Jgg

Angel

" Hehe, very cute, Al. " Angel left the radio playing on his vanity and repositioned the head before going for the door. " So I did that practice run ya wanted, " he said lethargically with a flourish toward his station, " Not that I don't do up faces like yours on th' regula', but since ya _insisted..._ " Leaving the door open, he returned to the head and held it up to present his work in the light. " I went an' did it. Ya still game fa this look? "

Alastor

Alastor stepped in just enough for the door—pushed by who-knows-what—to swing shut behind him. He glanced over Angel's makeup station before focusing on the head. "Decided the head was useful after all?" he asked dryly. He glanced over the look—seemed like just smudged eye shadow, mascara, and lipstick, all basic black—and after only a second or two said, "It's fine."

Angel

" Usefu-? Nah, nah this was fa you! " he explained with a pull of his vanity seat to offer, " Bone structure's actually... _not_ that big a deal. With contourin', ya can pretty much create any shape ya want. A course, only within' the ma'gins a ya face, but even then ya can do a helluva lot. I once _completely_ erased my peripheral eyes fa a client. They got definition, but ended up lookin smooth as a bambino's ass. " Angel caught himself rambling with a sigh. Alastor only gave a fuck about the venison. He was wasting his time. _But---_ " ... What I _do_ wanna check out is ya skintone, though. I'd guess youse neutral all th' way through, but since we ain't human anymore an' the inside a the wrist trick ain't so reliable, I'd haveta experiment with ya cheeks. "

Alastor

"I said you could chuck it out if it wasn't useful." He unlatched his hands from where he'd clasped them behind his back, took the offered seat, hooked one ankle over the opposite knee, and sat perfectly straight. Very professional, not terribly welcoming. "I prefer the shape my face currently has."

He glanced at the head again. "Yes, well, that's why I decapitated somebody who matches my complexion." He paused. "I suppose that didn't last after freezing him, though. But how much skin tone matching do you need to do with black eye shadow and lipstick?"

Angel

" Ya ain't up fa foundation? It's beauty base level one, Sweetie, it evens ya out an'... " Angel hummed and took a moment to lean in to judge his skin. " ... Ya know what? Ya don't even need it. Youse one a the lucky ones. Who would a thought ~ ? " With a shrug of his shoulders, he took a knee and pulled a package of wipes from a drawer. " Should clean ya up some, though, just ta make this whole process easier. " He opened them up, a puff of a fresh, sweet scent emanating from the package. " Allow me, uh. " Eyes flickered to his posture. " Or you wanna handle it? " he asked, " No harsh chemicals or anythin', just clean an' good fa ya. "

Alastor

There's the slightest narrowing to his eyes that suggested he wasn't quite sure what "foundation" was, but, whatever it was, he didn't fully trust it.

The squint didn't quite go away when Angel withdrew the option of foundation; but he did offer some actual conversation. "I don't think my skin's entirely natural. Never looked into what's changed about it, though."

He glanced down at the package. "Go ahead." And, after a moment, he uncrossed his leg, leaned forward, and planted his elbows on his knees to give Angel easier access to his face.

Angel

He fluttered a short series of disbelieving blinks, not expecting him to pass any opportunity to take up something easy enough to handle himself. Nonetheless, he put on his professional poker face and started with gentle sweeps from his forehead. " Ok, close ya eyes, " he instructed as he continued.

" Whatcha meanin'? Ya sittin' in front a me while soundin' like youse comin' from a cell tower miles away. Ain't nothin' natural about the lot of us, anyways. "

With that, Angel started looking  little more closely for indications of what he meant. " I don't... _think_ there's anythin' weird about it. And that's comin' from a perpetually peach-fuzzed _bitch,_ " he joked, " Ya tellin' me givin yaself a full body once over wasn't the first thin' ya did when ya dropped 'ere? "

Alastor

Alastor tisked to himself at Angel’s surprised blinks; the sound didn’t emerge from his own mouth, but as a click coming out of the still-on radio nearby.

“No, the *first* thing I did was look for pants. But of course examining my body was the second thing.” He shut his eyes obediently. “I mean it doesn’t act quite like skin is supposed to. Not in a way that’s ‘unnatural’ but ‘artificial.’ Doesn’t react to substances it’s supposed to, doesn’t smell like skin—” He made a vague, dismissive gesture. “Natural side-effect of being dead, no doubt. Never you mind. It doesn’t need foundation, I’m sure that’s all that matters.”

Angel

Angel couldn't help blowing a raspberry, but managed to duck and cover in time to avoid any inadvertent spitting.

" Right, _right_! Not _everyone's_ lucky enough ta have long luscious _fluff ~_ " he teased, quickly discarding the wipe before bringing out his choice of liquid liner.

" E'ryone's got their own musk. _Believe me._ Yours ain't the _worst._ If it does anythin' weird with my shit, we'll play it by ear. Open. " Angel uncapped the liner and drew a thin line on the back of his hand for Alastor to see. " This shit didn' come around until the 60s, but it sure beats melting a pencil with a lighter and sufferin' minor burns fa a killer cat eye, " he laughed before motioning for him to close his eyes again via his own.

" Don't worry. Ya good enough not ta need foundation. Ya probably ain't even gonna need much lip, either. Ya smile's gonna be takin' care a most a that. What _I'm_ gonna be havin' fun with _here,_ is givin' ya some pretty dramatic eyes! "

Alastor

“I know I’ve got my own musk. My musk smells like a machine, not a person.” He wasn’t kidding; he smelled like the interior of a secondhand electronics store, all burning dust and hot electrical components. He could hardly ever smell it himself, but he knew his scent.

He examined the liner briefly, then shut his eyes again. “I can handle the lipstick myself, when it comes to that.”

Angel

" Ok! I'll do it with ya so you can copy me, " he asserted, moderately chipper. Angel then habitually reached to steady his chin as he approached the first sweep, but stopped himself in favor of taking the challenge without any unnecessary contact. Instead,  he braced an elbow upon his vanity and shut his left eye, as he did while aiming down iron sights. " Ya ever done it before? Or like, watched ya mammina? "

Alastor

“I’ve done it. Not in a while and I’m not quite as good without a stencil, but I’m not a complete embarrassment.” He does an admirable job of holding his head still while talking. “I expect lip stencils aren’t a thing anymore, are they? Can’t recall the last time I saw one.”

Angel

" Perfectin' the cupid's bow ain't no easy feat ~ " he commented as he worked, followed by a chuckle.

" They fell outta practice when people sta'ted realizin' they was mostly fa white chicks who ain't _got any._ _My_ theory is chola liner's some genius _shade_ about it... _Badumtss~_ "

" Can't imagine you'd be able ta see what'cha doin' if ya tried usin a stencil _now_ though, with that huge smile a yours takin' up half ya face!  "

Amused with himself, he paused to chuckled a moment before the rest of what Alastor said processed. " _When_ 'ave ya done it before? "

Alastor

“Well, they work just fine on Creole gentlemen, too.” That liner joke is a mix of references a little too specific for Alastor to get, so he let it pass without comment. “No, of course I can’t see what I’m doing smiling like this. Why do you think I’m going to do my own lipstick?”

The corner of his mouth twitched wryly at Angel’s question. “Oh—pfff.” The huff came out as a burst of static as he rolled his eyes up and tried to remember. “Mainly the twenties, some in the forties... smattering of times since then... seventies or nineties or aughts—don’t think I ever did in the eighties. But probably only a dozen times in the last fifty years. Like I said, ‘not in a while.’”

Angel

" I know e'ryone _loves_ the 80s... " he groaned, " Unpopular opinion, but _somethin'_ went pretty fuckin' _wrong_ in that decade... " There's a twang of personal resentment to his tone, sharp as the glinted gold off razor clenched teeth.

" Ok, open up an look up so I can do the bottom. "

Though it disappeared just as quickly as he snickered at his own innuendo, further still as all eight eyes lit up.

" AH! So ya fuckin' DABBLED! What ELSE ya been holdin' out on me with, Al? Ya 'ad fun dickin' with drag? Would ya 'ave done it more if ya 'ad the chance? Figure bein' the fuckin', RADIO DEMON's a full time job, but wit' THAT kin'a title... ain't no one gonna be fuckin' wit' YOU. "

It did occur to him that the lack of frequency would answer his question, but he shoved the logic aside for his own wishful thinking. His fluff started to shimmy with excitement and he halted his work in favor of steadying himself on the ground as he were readying a running start.

Alastor

“I spent the 80s in the 10s. Missed most of it.” He opened his eyes and looked up.

“I’ve done it as much as I’ve cared to.” A shrug. “You know I have a skirt, I’m on the record as having sung a drag queen’s part on a musical album—and yet you’re surprised I’ve done drag? What did you think the skirt was for, flagging down taxis?” He scoffed. “I’m sure you must think I’m just another one of those *tediously* defensive men who have allergic reactions if anything even slightly delicate brushes their skin.” There was an edge to his voice that matched the tenseness in his posture since he’d come into the room.

Angel

" Nah-nah-nah, if youse anythin' it's fuckin' nothin' _I've_ ever known. " Angel smoothed himself out, taking a moment before cursing his season and getting back to work.

" Less than a musical number afte' learnin' youse this Ove'lord level hotshot who ate fuckin' cities fa breakfast, you were in th' kitchen treatin' the whole house ta dinner. If ya gonna kick my ass fa anythin', I know it ain't gonna be fa the same reasons I gotta be watchin' my back on th' streets, Da'lin'. "

He then sat back on his mile-long haunches to judge his handiwork from a distance. " Alright! Step Two's done! Whatcha think? "

Alastor

Alastor regarded Angel skeptically for a moment; but then finally relaxed a bit, some of the tension draining out of his shoulders. “And yet you were so convinced that I was looking for ways to wiggle out of this little meeting.”

He turned toward the mirror, studying the eyeliner. “Fine so far.” After a pause, he added, “You don’t think the smudged eyeshadow is going to be too much on top of my natural eyelid color, do you?”

Angel

" Youse a _dealmaker ~_ " he sang as he collected his shadow pallette, again showing Alastor test strokes on the back of his hand, " Wigglin' through loopholes what th' likes a ya do. Like an art. But th' kind that has fuckin', hidden scary shit subtext in th' background that haunts ya fa decades. An' I wasn't about ta let ya wiggle ya skinny ass outta _THIS~_ "

" I'll... " He scrutinized the shades before settling on a sparse swatch with subtle hints of glitter. " Work off whatcha got. Change a plans. I'm doin' ya lips a da'k red and enhancin' the natural shade a ya lids. "

Alastor

"You're right, I *am* a dealmaker. If I was that opposed to getting a little paint on my face, do you think I would have agreed so readily for nothing but a bit of sausage?" He scoffed again. "I agreed to your terms because there was no downside to them. Congratulations on managing to insert a downside that didn't previously exist in the terms—I wasn't expecting to get publicly accused of being too cowardly to wear makeup."

He eyed the new swatch doubtfully. "Do you have one that's less sparkly? Sparkles aren't terribly... me. I mean," he gestured at his ridiculous red getup, "that's not to say I'm not *flamboyant*—but I'm not *that* kind of flamboyant."

Angel

" Alright, alright, I'm sorry. I'll make it up t' ya an' take ya t' work wit' me sometime. _Not_ ta do wit' whatcha thinkin'. I'll show ya where I been gettin' all my shit, but ya _cannot_ be fuckin' seen. "

His conscience screamed, alarm bells wildly ringing throughout the backstage of his brain.

" New deal? " he asked with a new selection of charcoal grey, " I'm startin' ta think ya deserve better than a single color palette. It'll go with ya- I mean, MY, bowtie. "

Alastor

"*Thank* you!" At the apology, Alastor immediately brightened. "That's hardly necessary—but, I admit, I do wonder what you *are* going to pull out if 'what I'm thinking' has already been ruled out."

Alastor glanced over the newly proposed color and a game show bell dinged his approval. "How many palettes does one need to just cover eyes and lips?"

Angel

" Well, that last venison treat I got from th' street, but at work... we got a lot more where that came from. A candy store fa cannibalistic radio demons, " he joked, " Kiddin'. Specifically _not_ fa cannibalistic radio demons. Unless ya gonna _pay,_ but I doubt ya gonna be interested in th' usual package deal anyways. I'll just take ya in through the back. "

" Close ~ " Angel instructed once again before sweeping his brush, " As many as there are different tastes in th' world, Sweethea't. Not e'eryone's satisfied doin' or wearin' th' same thin' fa all a eternity. It gets _borin' ~ _ "

Alastor

"*Do* you? Maybe I was a little hasty when I decided the porn industry doesn't have anything that would appeal to me!" Laugh track. "I'll take that under consideration."

He closed his eyes. "I can hardly wear all of them at once! And I don't exactly have plans to do this again any time soon."

Angel

" I already introduced ya ta hentai. Am I gonna have ta show you vore, too? " A snicker. His crusade to find Alastor's niche interests had already been put to rest.

" That's a _shame ~_ Guess I better make this count then, ah? Ya gettin' mascara. By th' time I'm done wit' them lashes ya gonna be able ta clear a room wit' a couple bats. "

Alastor

"I've heard that one already! And ever since then, have been haunted by wondering what my rare voluntary victims get out of offering themselves up." He stuck out his tongue, bleh.

"Oh, good. I always enjoy clearing out a room with nothing but my face."

Angel

Angel couldn't help a flurry of giggles as he reached for his go-to wand. The _Radio Demon_ was _cute._

He applied the mascara generously, taking care to smooth out any clumps as he went. Bittersweetly, he sat back and kept himself from nitpicking any details to touch up for the sole sake of drawing out the process.

" Well, there ya 'ave it. The face of a _"Cha'min' Demon Belle"_ in ya _own_ right. Almost. Lemme find ya a bran' new one. Brushes an' applicators I wash, but lipstick goes directly on. "

Alastor

Alastor opened his eyes and leaned in toward the mirror to inspect the results. Angel was better with mascara than him. No surprise, really.

He had a new accent on when he next spoke: "Well! I do declare, you have done a simply *marvelous* job!" It was very much charming demon *Southern* belle, and he'd quite clearly practiced it before. He switched back to his usual voice before continuing: "I don't mind scraping off the last layer of germs with a hankie, it worked fine for us in New York." But he wasn't going to *complain* if he got a fresh one.

Angel

His jaw slacked. Of _course_ the amount of time and attention Alastor must've put into his voice would add up to him being able to pull off such a _sound_ outside his register. Much as Angel tried, he could never get nearly as close to sounding that _feminine,_ clear as a  _bell,_ pun intended. He was as much endeared as he was jealous.

" ... _Damn, dude,_ " was all he said on the matter before busying himself with his lipstick drawer. He pulled out his own favorite alongside a brand new burgundy shade, wordlessly breaking the safety seal and tossing the plastic.

" It's all yours. Now look. "

Folding his secondary elbows over the surface of his vanity, he joined Alastor at the mirror and twisted the cap. " Ya can go for whateve' shape ya want. Flat, pointed bow, rounded bow, a shape shorter than ya natural smile that looks like ya got a permanent pout. I like ta call that one th' Betty Boop... "

He flashed his eyes over as he racked his thoughts. " Pointed bow prolly best fa a big smile. They'd round out on they own with ya stretch, " he explained before beginning to draw out the shape on his own lips.

Alastor

Alastor cleared his throat with a rumble of static and winked at Angel. "Still convincing, I hope." Of course it was still convincing. He'd heard himself.

He'd wondered how he was going to make it look good with a smile—he always had trouble with that part. *Pointed* bow. Made sense. He watched closely as Angel demonstrated.

Angel

Angel rolled his eyes. All eight of them. " Yeah-yeah, _that's_ the word. _Convincin' ~_ " He snickered with a wink of his own and made a couple faces in the mirror.

" Yeah, pointed bow'll do it. Don't be afraid ta exaggerate some. It ain't gonna look as ridiculous as ya think it will so long as ya own it. If it ain't feelin right, ya can always take some edge off with a claw. No 'arm done. "

He then rested his chin in his palm to watch him in the mirror. " _Go fa it ~_ "

Alastor

He watched until Angel was done—even copying Angel's hand motions with his own, tracing his tube of lipstick in the air—and then he said, "Got it." He sat back and made a twirling gesture with one finger. "Turn around. No facing me and no facing any mirrors facing me."

Angel

" What- " He rose a brow sky-high. " _Seriously?_ C'mon, man, it's not like ya _strippin'_ in 'ere. " Nonetheless, he obliged with a turn to his bed and a dramatic drop of his face into a pillow before giving Alastor a sextuple thumbs up.

Alastor

Lightly, Alastor said, "Everyone's entitled to their quirks. This one's mine." He waited until Angel was flopped before turning back to the mirror and pursing his lips.

He looked so *tired* when he wasn't smiling. The eye makeup really didn't do anything to hide that. He tried to focus on his lips instead of his eyes, copied the motion Angel had done, and examined the results. It took him a few tries to get an outline that looked alright when he smiled, and then he filled it in. Not bad, he thought. Made his fangs stand out more.

"All right. You can come inspect the results." Alastor glanced at Angel, face down in a pillow, and added, "If you haven't smothered yourself."

Angel

Angel twisted back around, a vague pile of pink striped limbs promptly realigning into a comfortably casual lounge.

" _Hey ~ !_ Not BAD, Mista _Twelve_ Times ~ ! " he complimented with a snap of his fingers, " That's gonna getcha e'rythin' I got left, uh-kay ~ ? "

Folding his arms behind him, he got up and leaned about Alastor on all sides to appreciate all angles of his ( for the most part ) work.

" ... ... Next time ya do anythin' like this, take me wit' ya, ah? "

Alastor

"Even without the skirt?" He'd put the Southern belle voice back on. "Well, bless your heart! Aren't you the generous one?"

He stolidly endured the scrutiny—this was the least pleasant part of the whole process, *the scrutiny.* "It's not something I do often, remember—I don't get much out of it. But if a reasonable opportunity comes up, I'll keep you in mind."

Angel

Angel stepped back with a sheepish laugh, test-stroked hand over his mouth. " Fine, fine, I won't put ya through anythin' else. Ya can 'ave summa my venison wheneva ya want. Youse a good sport ~ "

His many arms then made quick work of cleaning up his vanity. The head could go away later.

" Here, ya can take these, too, " he said with an offer of the rest of the makeup wipes, " Fa after dinner. An' any other time ya feel like freshenin' up. They _do_ work _wonders_ on _blood ~_ "

Alastor

"Do they! How handy." Those were going in... nope, his pockets were currently occupied, that was where he was stowing the glut of spare bow ties he'd suddenly acquired. He dropped the makeup wipes through a little portal, they could hang out in another dimension for now.

Angel

The corners of his eyes rounded wide at the sudden sight. " Didja just...? " Angel vaguely gestured towards the floor, still in the midst of processing what he just saw. " Give my shit ta HENTAI? He even HAVE a face? "

Alastor

Alastor laughed. "I'm sure he'd find some use for them!" He got to his feet; they were about done here, weren't they? "But, no! I've got more than one little dimension I can open up. That one happens to be—well—more or less my travel trunk, I suppose. It has too much in it for me to call it a handbag!" He opened up another small portal and fished out a saxophone. "This wouldn't fit in your average clutch, would it?"

Angel

Angel snorted. Of all the nefarious uses he could've been seeing of his power, he had to witness the storage unit. " Ahh I getcha I getcha ~ " he said as he pulled a pistol from his fluff and fussed with the magazine, " It ain't no entire fuckin', _dimension,_ but pretty damn close. I can fit a _lotta_ shit in 'ere ~ Once shoplifted an entire Christmas dinner! " He then put it away and looked at the portal, a curiously conniving smile stretching his face. Without much thought, he picked up the head, gave it a toss, and dropped to peer into the portal like a wishing well. " ... _Oh shit, it's actually GONE!_ " he exclaimed, eyes sparkling in amusement before his experiment.

Alastor

"Really! Just in your fur, or is there some sort of magic—Wait *don't—*!"

He tried to seal up the portal. It was slightly too slow to keep the head from falling in. He stared aghast at the point where the portal had been, then glowered at Angel. "You don't see me chucking half-thawed meat into *your* wardrobe!" He opened a smaller portal again on Angel's vanity, leaned over to peer in, then played an annoyed buzz as he sealed up the portal and opened a new one in midair just above eye-level so he could reach up into it from below. "If I have to take everything out to clean it, you're helping."

Angel

" I like ta call it _AbracaBIMBO-!_ " The spider erupted into a flurry of giggles and raspberries, arms clasping his stomach as he rolled on the ground. " I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I wasn't thinkin'! I just! 'AD TA TRY IT! " Swiping his tears, he looked up into the portal and sprung up. " Wait, that leads t' ya closet?? I'LL GET IT! " Angel then shoved his head and primary arms into the space and began fishing for leverage to pull himself through.

Alastor

Alastor grabbed Angel's shoulders to jerk his head down out of the portal, but the portal wasn't quite high enough and Alastor wasn't quite tall enough to keep Angel's arms out of it. "Either you remove your arms now, or I fish them out in an hour so the doctors can try to reattach them to your stumps. Your choice." The portal narrowed threateningly.

Angel

" What's the big _secret_? " he echoed into the void before popping his head out, " Ya said you'd make me help ya _clean!_ What's the big idea wit' not lettin' me sneak a peek _now ~ ?_ " Angel almost whined. Singular ( and he presumed inadvertently _punk_ ) as the Radio Demon's fashion sense _seemed_ to be, if he kept a skirt in there, the curiosity surrounding whatever else he could he stowing into an endless void all but _killed him._

Alastor

"And if you tell an acquaintance he'll help you clean your room, does that mean you'll hand him items and tell him where to put them, or does it mean you'll give him *carte blanche* to pull open all your drawers and paw around in them?" The portal sealed shut and reappeared on the other side of the room; the lights dimmed briefly as Alastor called up one of his shadows to dig around for the head instead. Apparently it wasn't safe to keep it within arm's reach (or throwing distance) of Angel.

Angel

" _Cart lunch-?_ " His brow tweaked but his eyes rolled shortly after. He's got to be the cagiest person he ever met. " Alright, alright, _jeeze,_ " he groaned as he folded both sets of arms, " So if I get outta the _Acquaintance Zone, **then**_ could I see ya closet? " Angel posed the question with air quotes, resigning himself to the fact that he'd either have to start controlling his second nature assholery, or make apologizing to him a habit. Neither sounded fun, but the latter sounded painful. Much _more_ painful.

Alastor

"*Carte blanche.* Permission." Alastor considered the question for a long moment. "No."

The shadow pulled out the head. With a gesture from Alastor, it threw it down on the bed. "What did it land on?"

The shadow half pulled out a wire laundry basket full of books (which now also contained the face wipes). Several disembodied voices muttered disapproval as Alastor facepalmed.

And then immediately un-facepalmed to make sure he hadn't smeared any makeup on his glove.

Angel

Narrowed eyes and pursed pout, Angel merely watched the head land. It wouldn't have been the grossest thing on his sheets. He'd start caring again if Fat Nuggets woke up and started nosing it.

" What? I get blood on ya diaries? " he teased, " Ya got a whole fuckin' secret dimension in there. Why don'tcha keep books in a, _I dunno, **bookshelf**_ instead a a _laundry basket?_ "

He was one to talk, having repurposed every possible thing in his room as a hanger.

Alastor

Alastor gestured demonstratively at the shadow, which pulled the top book out of the basket: a massive tome bound in black hide, held closed with three locks, and sporting an eyeball on the cover that looked alarming like one of Alastor's. The eyeball blinked and rolled around until it fixed on Alastor and Angel. "*Yes,* actually." Alastor gesture dismissively; the shadow dropped the book in the basket again and shoved it back into its separate dimension. "Because bookcases are harder to haul in and out of a small portal than baskets and boxes."

Angel

Angel blinked intermittently. He was running out of feet to eat. " ... Took ya mo'e fa a talker than a writer, " he commented dryly, eyes gluing to the floor as he pondered just how much of a _jerk_ he could be even when he wasn't actively _trying._ He drummed his fingers over his arm. _Questions, apologies, questions, apologies._ He was beginning to tire _himself_ out as he spaced and spiraled into his lack of grace. He couldn't hear a thing for a hot second.

Alastor

"I am. But talk is temporary, and some things need to be recorded. Recipes, rituals, messages..." Had Alastor managed to shame Angel? Give him a moment to bask in the awkwardness. Ah yes, this was where he was at home: making people uncomfortable.

Then he broke the silence. "Lucky for you, that particular book happened to be the only one in the basket that *likes* blood."

Angel

" ... 'Scuse th' FUCK outta me: _what?_ " He was conflicted as to whether he was more relieved or _disturbed._ Now his brain isn't going to be able to rid itself of the thought of certain inanimate objects _also_ enjoying his pain for a good while. " Ya feed ya feelin's _blood?_ " A second too late he realized he was stating the obvious.

Alastor

"Not *often,* no; but it helps keep its skin supple and rejuvenates some of the wards running inside." He shrugged, like this was a totally normal and not at all weird thing to say about a book.

Angel

" Wa'ds like- _oh,_ " he pieced. Literal bloodbaths in the spa were no secret. That much made sense to him. " So, uh... welcome? " Angel smacked on a wide, hopeful grin that left his eyes.

Alastor

"Ha! No, you're not winning points for this. Consider yourself lucky it wasn't leaking and didn't land on something more delicate." He gestured toward the door. "Now, before we have any more mishaps?"

Angel

" Ya can't blame _me,_ ya walkin' _Funhouse a' Horrors,_ " he scoffed with a strut towards the door. He opened it with a deep flourish, completely forgetting about the rotting head in his bed. " Afte' you. "

Alastor

"I can, I should, and I will."

Was Angel just going to leave that there? Well, if he'd forgotten about it, far be it for Alastor to remind him. He swept out the door past Angel, pulling his belle voice on again to say, "Such a gentleman!"

Angel

Chuckling, Angel canted his head to watch the demon walk out before turning back to his room.

" Be good, Nuggsie! I'll feed ya afte'- _oh fuck._ "

With about the same amount of thought as before, Angel swept the head out the window with a calculated rond de jambe before taking after Alastor.

Alastor

And off to get his hard-earned sausage.

[weightlosspros-blog]

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Step 3 – Meal Timing: These meal timings designed to reverse diabetes type 2. Many people don’t know that one of the significant rules of defeating diabetes is eating the right food at the right time.

This section contains a 60-second breakfast tricks to help you stay full and active all day. This breakfast meal includes healthy and tasty snacks to keep you satisfied.

A dessert section also included in this step that you can use without feeling bad.

Six Things I Like Most In Diabetes Freedom:

Helps In Controlling Blood Sugar Naturally Many studies have shown numerous diabetic patients able to keep their blood sugar level in a normal level with the help of dietary changes and losing weight.

You can also work closely with a nutritionist or doctor to set up a proper plan for you or you can use strategies and plans provided inside the Diabetes Freedom program to make changes in your life and control your blood sugar levels.

Easy Nutrition Plan That You Can Follow: A good and healthy nutrition plan should not make you feel restricted and deprived. You don’t need to completely cut off carbs from your life to make impressive dietary changes.

The nutrition plan you will get inside this program is divided into three parts and include meal-timing strategies and meal plans. It is easier to stick with this nutrition plan and get results quickly.

Helps In Weight Loss:

This is the most important benefit I like in this program. When I was overweight, I lost 15 pounds in a month just by making some dietary changes in my diet and without exercise. You may lose some pounds by using nutrition plan provided in the Diabetes Freedom.

According to John Hopkins Medicines, losing just 5 to 10 percent of the body weight can provide a positive impact on the blood sugar level and lower the risk of diabetes by 58 percent.

Freedom From Medicines And Shots: We all know diabetes medicines and insulin shots are just a ‘temporary fix’ to normalize blood sugar and the long term use of these medicines create many negative effects on the body.

For example, a popular diabetes medicine, metformin causes kidney problems, metal taste, and dizziness. Similarly, insulin shots can drop a person’s sugar level to an extremely low level which is dangerous and needs to be treated immediately.

Relatively Inexpensive: For creating this Diabetes Freedom review, we bought this program for $40. However, on our last visit to the official website, we found the author is offering a $10 discount. This means you can get the whole program in just $30.

This is a huge benefit for people who are interested in this program and what to try it out. However, we don’t know how long the author will continue to offer this discount.

Even without this discount, we feel that Diabetes Freedom delivers more than its actual value. And don’t forget you get four VIP bonuses if you get it now.

Good Testing Period: You will have sixty days to test this program and see if it helps you or not.

Within these sixty days, if you don’t see any positive changes in your body or in your blood sugar level or if you don’t like it for any reason, you can get your full money back.

To get your money back, all you have to do is to send a single email with the title ‘Refund,’ and you will get a list of few steps that help you to get your money back within 24 hours.

My ‘Diabetes Freedom’ Review Verdict

So, here I am, with almost 1000 words in this Diabetes Freedom review, by now, you can see this program delivers, in fact, it OVER delivers for what you’re paying for. Up till now, I never admitted in public; I am a diabetic.

I definitely want to give this program a high rating because it teaches methods that are practical, simple, and easy to implement. Before going through this program, I’ve secretly tested my sugar level and taking pills.

This Diabetes Freedom program gave me the confidence to take good steps, and finally within four weeks of following this program, by post-meal glucose level went down from 245 to 200 level. I am pretty sure I will get it to the normal level this year.

I am recommending this diabetes reversing program to my friends and family members.

My final recommendation is to pick Diabetes Freedom from its official website, follow it for at least four weeks and then come back here again to let us know what you think about it!

      [Visit The Official Website Here to Order Now!]

Diabetes Freedom Video Review

Content Credited by:  https://thediabetesplans.com/

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #89: Beowulf

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we’re making the King of Savagery, Beowulf. The bare-knuckled swordsman is equally good with his weapons, his fists, and his leadership skills.

Check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

Next up: Here comes the bride!

Race and Background

Beowulf is definitely a Human, and being a Variant Human will help us wield two beowulf-sized weapons at once with the Dual Wielder feat. This gives you +1 AC while dual wielding, the ability to ignore the lack of a light property on your weapons for the purposes of dual wielding, and the ability to draw or stow two weapons at once for fewer complications. Hrunting and Naegling are many things, but light isn’t one of them. You also get +1 Strength and +1 Charisma, and Insight Proficiency. 

Beowulf is a skilled fighter and sailor, making him a Marine. This gives him Athletics and Survival proficiencies. He’s also a really good king, but that’s as far from backstory as you can get; we’ll pick it up later.

Ability Scores

You’re the original dragon slayer and you can tear monsters’ arms off. Safe to say, your Strength is pretty high. You’re also tough enough to wrestle monsters in the first place, and survive a dragon long enough to get off some last words, so that’s Constitution sorted. Good kings inspire the people, so let’s get the Charisma up there too. Your Dexterity isn’t super great, but it’s not like you avoid hits. Your Wisdom sadly couldn’t be that high either, we just needed other things more. Hopefully the Insight proficiency makes up for it. Finally, dump Intelligence- you’re not too badly affected by your Madness Enhancement, but you were never one to think things through anyway.

Class Levels

1. Barbarian 1: Starting off as a barbarian nets you a whole lot of HP, plus Strength and Constitution save proficiencies, and proficiency in Intimidation and Survival. You try telling me that guy ain’t scary, you’ll just be wrong.

You also get the ability to Rage, adding extra damage to your attacks, have advantage on strength checks and saves, and you resist physical damage. You also get Unarmored Defense based on your constitution and dexterity. You don’t wear armor. Or a shirt, for that matter.

For this build we’re calling Hrunting a Long-sword and Naegling a War-hammer. They’re both big enough that normal people would wield them two-handed, but you dual wield them instead, because you’re just that good.

2. Barbarian 2: Second level barbarians can make Reckless Attacks, giving you advantage on a turn for all attacks at the cost of giving everything advantage against you until your next turn. Try killing everything before that happens. You also get a Danger Sense, giving you advantage on Dexterity Saves you see coming like, say, a dragon’s breath weapon.

3. Fighter 1: Popping over to fighter nets you a Fighting Style, and Unarmed Fighting lets you throw away those children’s toys and settle things like a man, dealing 1d6 bludgeoning with a one-handed attack or 1d8 with both hands free. You can also deal 1d4 damage at the start of each turn to any creature you’re grappling.

First level fighters also get a Second Wind, healing you as a bonus action once per short rest. Now you’ll be able to stay in the fight even longer!

4. Fighter 2: Second level fighters get an Action Surge, adding an extra action to your turn once per short rest. Multiclassing right out the gate means your extra attack comes a little late, so this’ll have to make up for it. Though you already get an extra attack kind of thanks to dual-wielding...

5. Fighter 3: Beowulf may be rough, but he’s still a natural born leader, so the Banneret subclass from the sword coast isn’t that out of left field. Unless you have no idea that the Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide even existed, in which case you’re in good company along with WotC.

Regardless, when you take the subclass you get a Rallying Cry. When you use your Second Wind, you also heal up to three creatures within 60′ of you, if they’re your allies. Those creatures regain your fighter level in HP if they can see or hear you.

6. Fighter 4: At sixth level we finally get our first Ability Score Improvement, which we’re using to get the Crusher feat. This increases your Strength by 1 point, and once per turn you can push a creature 5′ away if it’s large or smaller and you’re dealing bludgeoning damage to it. Also, if you score a critical hit with a bludgeoning attack, all attacks against that creature are made with advantage until your next turn. So you’re really good with your fists and Naegling now.

7. Fighter 5: Fifth level fighters get an Extra Attack, bringing your total attacks per turn up to three while dual-wielding or five with an Action Surge.

8. Fighter 6: Hrunting was feeling a little left out from that last ASI, so use this one to pick up Slasher. This gives you another +1 Strength, and hitting a creature with slashing damage reduces its speed by 10′ once per turn. Critical hits with slashing damage cause the creature to have disadvantage on all its attack rolls until your next turn.

9. Fighter 7: Seventh level Bannerets become a Royal Envoy, giving you Persuasion proficiency and doubled proficiency with persuasion checks. You can talk freaking Yaga into making you their king. Admittedly most of that was beating the shit out of them, but that’s just yaga diplomacy at work.

10. Fighter 8: I swear we’re almost done with feats, just pick up Inspiring Leader for one last boost in your leadership skills. Spending 10 minutes giving up to six creatures a pep talk gives them temporary hp equal to your level plus your charisma modifier. You can only use this on a creature once per short rest, so save it for the dramatic conclusion. Also, make sure you DM doesn’t try to actually make you do a ten minute speech, that would be very long.

11. Fighter 9: Ninth level fighters are Indomitable, giving you a second chance at a failed save. You can use this once per long rest, so I’d save it for something you should’ve made. Failing a wisdom save sucks, but you weren’t going to pass it anyways, trust me.

12. Fighter 10: Tenth level bannerets have an Inspiring Surge. When you use your Action Surge, a nearby creature of your choice can react to make a weapon attack if it can see or hear you. That’s right; not only do you get extra attacks, but now so does your party.

13. Fighter 11: You get another Extra Attack for even more stabbing/hitting per action; three with your fists, four while dual-wielding and using your bonus action, and seven while dual wielding and using your action surge.

14. Fighter 12: Now that all the feats are out of the way we can finally focus on ability scores with this ASI. Bump up your Constitution for more health and AC.

15. Fighter 13: At this level you get another use of Indomitable per long rest. Yeah I know it’s not that interesting.

16. Fighter 14: Use this ASI to bump up your Dexterity for better dex saves and AC. If you haven’t been going up against a lot of dex saves, feel free to move this over to constitution instead, it’s up to you.

17. Fighter 15: Fifteenth level bannerets become a Bulwark. When you use your Indomitable feature to reroll a failed Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma save, an ally within 60′ can also reroll their save. Now rerolling wisdom saves might make sense; two mind-controlled party members is rough.

18. Fighter 16: Use your last ASI to finally maximize your Strength for the best swordplay and boxing you can have.

19. Fighter 17: You get an additional use of Action Surge and Indomitable, because they totally didn’t run out of ideas for main class features back at level 11.

20. Fighter 18: Your capstone level sees your Inspiring Surge get just a bit better. Now using Action Surge lets two allies attack instead of one, so you can lead an entire army into the fight.

Pros: 

Persuasion expertise, intimidation proficiency, and a decent insight means you can serve as a pretty good party face in an emergency.

You don’t need armor, and your weapons are more a formality than anything else, so you’re always ready for a fight.

Your abilities help the party just for doing things you’d be doing anyway, helping you turn the tide of a battle just by being that kickass. That’s not just your class abilities either. Crusher and Slasher can seriously hinder an enemy’s movement, protecting squishier party members.

Cons:

Like a majority of berserkers, you lack ranged or magical options. High level enemies might be a problem if you don’t pick up any magical weapons.

Your wisdom is low enough that you shouldn’t be using Indomitable charges on it, but one of your features is specifically about rerolling soft stat saves. Wasting your own save to help another party member might be worth it, but there’s less painful ways to do that.

Literally all your weapons are versatile, but you only have two hands. If you want to maximize damage in any one weapon you’d have to drop the rest to do so, but that gets rid of your versatility. It’s a balancing act.

[blue-maiden4]

OPINION OF POKEMON SWORD/SHIELD

Now that I’m finally done with the game I can give all my honest thoughts and opinions about it!

I repeat: THIS IS A PERSONAL OPINION SO DON’T COME AND THROW HATE OR SOMETHING JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T AGREE WITH IT

Oh, and there’s gonna be spoilers of the game

Now let’s begin with this thing that is going to be super long! (Putting it under read more)

First of all, this game was a wild ride. I really had fun during the whole adventure! I really don’t know where to start....

Soundtrack

 Dear lord they really outdone themsleves with it! It was amazing! It’s impossible for me to pic a fave ❤❤❤. From the battle themes to the overworld music, they made the whole journey better (though now that I think about it the did an outstanding job with the battle themes, they literally fill you up with hype and make the battles exciting)

Nevermind, my fave would  be the Second Phase of the Eternamax Battle.

Gym Challenge/Pokemon League

I. LOVED. IT.

At least the gym battles and torunament. They really knew how to include the Dynamax dynamic in them and made battles more exciting, add the whole ambience where you can hear the crowd screaming and cheering, and you get awesomeness.

And the idea of making a tournament where you have to battle the other challengers (the ones that made it to that point) and then gym leaders (some of them) before facing the champion, it just so original and like in the Anime.

I really hope they keep doing this in future games because it is better than only facing up four strong trainers and then the champion.

And did I mention how they make the Gym challenge a big deal? Seriously, people are ACTUALLY checking on you since the battles are apparently transmitted on TV or something, and people are rooting for you.

This region really gives Pokemon battles the importance it deserves, considering is one of the main aspects of the game and it’s world in general.

Difficulty

The game surely improved in this aspect (maybe not that much, but it’s better than in S/M), but they need to work in the AI.

Now, if I only I hadn’t accidentaly over-leveled my team, my pokemon would have probably been between level 52-60 (I always do some grinding before the League, so I’m not extremely under-leveled)

And when I refer to accidentally, I actually mean that I used the EXP candies which made my team reach level 70. (Just so you know, the champion’s pokemon are from LV 60-64)

So, if you want to make the game a little bit harder, don’t use the candies, and if you do, don’t use too many of them, espcecially the M and L ones.

Rivals

-Marnie: She got so little development, so I can’t really say that much about her.

-Bede: He is such a jerk, but I ended up liking him, he had some nice development. (He’s finally doing what he wants and at least accepting a little bit more his role as a Gym Leader)

-Hop: FINALLY! A FRIENDLY RIVAL WITH GOOD DEVELOPMENT! At the beginning he was annoying (just a little), but after he gets depressed ‘cause Bede said he put his brother to shame and blah blah blah, I really felt bad for him and wanted to hug him (And beat the shit out of Bede). And then after I defeated him on the tournament and looking how he was sad/angry but then accepted it, damn I seriously wanted to hug him even more. Then there is the post game, where we see the peak of his development, where he finally chooses his own path, but is still going to keep on battling....I’M SO PROUD OF MY BOY

Wild-Areas

They better keep the whole thing of the Pokemon roaming on the routes, ‘cause it’s awesome. But the way Pokemon appear as you move through the place....It’s so weird. They pop out of nowhere, there isn’t even like a slight animation or something. Though the same thing can be said for every section in the game. (I crashed TWICE against the Onix in Motostoke, cause I forgot where it was and with this pops out of nowhere thing well....)

I also find it weird how some Pokemon that are found in the water just jump out of it and that’s it (but this doesn’t apply to all of them luckily)

TM’s &TR’s

Okay, I’ve got mixed feelings with this one.

Now, remember how they made all TM’s reusable? Well, now only some moves are TM’s and the rest are TR’s.

And what exactly are TR’s? They are the same as Tm’s excpet that they can only be used ONCE and the only way to get them is as rewards of a Max Raid.

Honestly, this pissed me off (and it still does), but since Max Raid’s gives you Exp candies and objects that can be sold for money (like Star pieces, Nuggets, Comet shards...) it makes the search of some specific TR’s less painful (still it’s annoying, you have NO IDEA how long it took me to get the Ice Beam TR, and there’s a lot more moves that have become TR’s and that are the most useful and strong)

Poke-camp (or whatever it’s spelled)

Seeing your team interact with each other it’s fun, sadly it seems that my WHOLE team is ANTISOCIAL so I’ve never got to see that much how they get along -_-.

Story

Now this is one of the game’s flaws.

The story well...you literally know nothing about it ‘til the end of the game. You practically keep going with the adventure and then boom! Stuff happens.

Though I’m gonna say the Eternatus arch was cool, they at least executed well that part, heck it was the most epic part in the game but that was the only thing, but the story in general wasn’t well executed.

Graphics

They only need to improve in some of the animations and the look of some things. Other than that, the game looks good.

Pokedex

I’m gonna talk more specifically about the cut of some Pokemon.

First, you are all exaggerating. The cut of Pokemon wasn’t that bad, for heaven’s sake, I didn’t even feel it at all! 

Yeah it sucks what they did, but it’s nothing that can’t be fixed in the future.

And the Pokemon that can be found within the game aren’t that bad, some of the new Pokemon are really good as well.

(I can’t believe they made zigzagoon a good Pokemon, seriously, once that little guys evolves into Linoone and Obstagoon, it becomes a BEAST in battle)

Dynamax

At first I didn’t know how to feel about this mechanic, but I can say they knew how properly implement it in the game. (Though it is really OP, if you ask me)

I think that’s all, but I’m sure I left out some stuff

These games are good, and people are just throwing hate for stupid reasons (well maybe they’re not that stupid and have a point). But the game has potential that only needs to be improved.

I personally give it an 8/10 (or 7.5/10)

[gruntydiecast]

Casting Call: Vector W8

First off, I’d like to apologize for the fact that I’ve not been updating my Tumblr lately. I’ve been busy at work and haven’t had time to write something. To make up for this... I’m writing quite possibly one of my longest posts yet.

By popular demand, this is the casting you chose on Instagram for me to document: the Vector W8. Grab some popcorn, a drink or some music... and enjoy the read. This is also in some ways a car that time forgot, but it’s not a concept car... but I can break the rules because I made them.

When it comes to cars of the ‘80s, there is a debate as to what the best car of the era was. Many say it would be either the Lamborghini Countach or the Ferrari Testarossa. But I have something that is neither of those things. Today, we’re going to take a trip down memory lane and explore the car that attempted to elevate a small company to the dizzying heights of the supercar realm. This... is the Vector W8.

First, here’s a bit of background. The W8 was manufactured by a company known as Vector Motors, then known as Vector Aeromotive. The company was founded in 1971 as Vehicle Design Force by Gerald “Jerry” Wiegert in Wilmington, California; we’ll get to the full history of Vector in a post in the near future because it is honestly very interesting.

In essence, the W8 was a highly refined version of the Vector W2, one of the company’s initial prototypes (the “W” in the name stood for “Wiegert”). Wiegert wanted to put the W2 into production, but an economical downturn prevented him from doing so. However, by the ‘80s, Wiegert had eventually secured enough capital through public stock offerings and even various lawsuits, allowing him to chase his dream: to build his ultimate sports car, designed and built by his own company.

Design inspiration for the W8 (and by extension the W2) came from this green car: the Alfa Romeo Carabo (Hot Wheels actually did a model of this way back when). Its sleek, futuristic and aerodynamic design was perfect for Wiegert, especially with the aerospace theme the company was going for in the ‘80s.

Combining the sleek looks of the Carabo with the geometry and technology of fighter jets of the time like the F-15 Eagle, F-16 Fighting Falcon and F/A-18 Hornet, Wiegert and chief designer David Kostka set out to create what would be quite possibly the most insane supercar of the ‘80s, and probably still is now: the Vector W8. The term “Aeromotive Engineering” was used to describe the process of manufacturing this car, for the car used the newest and most advanced aerospace materials when manufacturing the W8.

The car passed the mandatory DOT crash tests and emissions tests. It used a semi-aluminum monocoque chassis which was epoxy bonded and riveted using 5000 aircraft-specification rivets with an aluminum honeycomb floorpan. The body was made mainly of carbon fiber and Kevlar. The car featured scissor doors, like a Lamborghini.

The beating heart of the W8 was this: a highly-modified aluminum resleevable 6.0L Rodeck twin-turbocharged racing V8 with variable boost pressure. The engine produced 625 horsepower and made 649 lb⋅ft (880 N⋅m) of torque at 4,900 rpm at 8 psi of boost pressure, and as if the Rodeck V8 couldn’t get any more ridiculous, it featured TRW forged pistons, Carrillo stainless steel connecting rods, stainless steel valves and roller rocker arms, a forged crank, a dry-sump oiling system with three separate filters and braided stainless steel hoses with anodized red and blue fittings. This engine sounded mad; click here to hear a Vector starting up and revving.

Yes, you heard that correctly; variable boost. The boost for both turbochargers was adjustable from 8 to 14 psi through a dial in the interior. And speaking of which, let’s talk about that next; because, if you thought the engine was already mad enough, the interior is on a whole other level.

As you can see, the interior of the W8 is mad. Fighter jet-inspired screen? Check. A million buttons everywhere? Check. Gauges? ...no check. And hang on... is that what I think it is? A Turbo-Hydramatic 425 transmission?

Yep, that’s right, and that just makes the car a lot more insane; this ridiculously powerful 6.0L Rodeck V8 was mated to a 3-speed Turbo-Hydramatic 425 automatic transmission. Next to it on the right was the handbrake, sort of shaped like the throttle on a fighter jet. Due to the placement of the transmission and the handbrake, the driver side doorsill is very, very wide, making it a bit tough for the driver to get in and out of the car. You will also notice that there are buttons on top of the gear stick. I’ll get to those now.

As if this car couldn’t get any more ridiculous. This is the screen of the Vector W8, with four different settings (controlled with those four buttons), marked “Main”, “Performance”, “Performance” again and “Chassis”. This is the “Main” screen, showing the odometer, fuel gauge, speedometer and tachometer.

This is the first “Performance” screen, showing engine temperature, oil pressure and temperature, the tachometer reading and various other metrics.

The third screen was the second “Performance” screen, showing the transmission pressure (because it had a torque converter) and transmission temperature as well as battery voltage.

The last screen was the “Chassis” screen, which showed a picture of the W8 which updated in real time when a door was opened, when the engine compartment was opened and so on.

On the other side, you will notice that the W8 doesn’t actually have a partition between the driver and passenger side footwells. So it is a little awkward. This car also has no glovebox; in its place is a... CD changer?

Yes, that’s right. The car came with an in-car stereo... and a Sony CDX-A2001 ten-disc CD changer which graced the entire right side of the car’s already insane instrument panel. This was a nice innovation, although it did came with one drawback; no passenger-side airbags. Good luck if you get into a crash riding shotgun.

Back to the interior though. It was upholstered in premium leather and suede, with electrically adjustable leather Recaro seats and featured a premium air-conditioning system. Some driving amenities such as power steering were excluded. The seating position for the driver was made slightly towards the center for better drivability.

The rear of the W8 was dominated by lines, and the rear sightline... wasn’t very good, mainly because of that gigantic wing. The license plate holder is located on the left and apparently may have been an afterthought. “TWINTURBO” is seen gracing the back.

The car also features a trunk which is just behind the engine.

As for the front... oh, right, the headlamps. They’re not pop-up... they’re pop-DOWN.

The car also has a storage cubby up front, although really, it wasn’t much.

Also gracing the front were windshield wipers, as you would expect on practically every other car. However, there wasn’t just one, nor was there just two: there were THREE. A moonroof was also standard. It also had sliding side windows like a race car, as well as power-adjustable side mirrors.

The logo on the side of the car was the only thing that really gave any indication as to what manufacturer it was.

The car had unique six-spoke “turbine” wheels fitted to Michelin XGT Plus tires; the car used 255/45ZR-16s in the front and very, very strange 315/40ZR-16s in rear. These wheels were apparently of a bespoke design made to the driver’s specifications. 

In terms of suspension, the W8 featured double A-arms up front and De Dion tube suspension at the rear, located by four trailing arms that stretched all the way forward to the firewall. The W8 used 13-inch vented disc brakes with Alcon aluminum 4-piston calipers.

In terms of performance, the Vector shined; it claimed to be able to do 389 km/h (242 mph) and a 0-60 mph (0-97 km/h) time of 3.9 seconds. These numbers were never officially tested, but if true, these are very impressive numbers for the time. Okay, enough about the W8’s performance and figures; let’s get to the part you’ve been waiting for, the history.

The W8 was first introduced in 1988 with a sticker price of about $185,000, priced within striking range of European competitors like the Lamborghini Diablo.

One high profile owner of a W8 was this man: Andre Agassi, although he ended up giving the car a bit of a bad rap. Agassi had insisted that his car be delivered before it was fully prepared; Vector agreed to this on the condition that Agassi not drive it and keep it in storage as the car was adjusted for the various emissions regulations in place. Agassi did not listen and drove it and ended up burning the rear carpeting due to an overly hot exhaust system; Agassi ended up requesting for a refund, which was ultimately granted. I’ll let you decide who’s at fault here.

Car And Driver magazine also tested the W8, but couldn’t complete testing because all three cars they were sent somehow managed to break down in different ways, leading to even more bad publicity. However, not all is bad as Road and Track magazine waxed lyrical about the Vector, praising practically every aspect of the W8’s performance.

Vector was still going strong in 1993, selling W8s; however, Wiegert was already planning for a successor. That successor was to be known as the AWX-3, better known as the WX-3 (Hot Wheels also made a model of this one too), where the name stood for Avtech Wiegert eXperimental, 3rd generation.

I’ll get into more details of the WX-3 in a later blog when I receive my WX-3 from the United States. Production of the W8 ultimately came to a halt in 1993 as Wiegert attempted to put the WX-3 into production; however, as the company was engaged in a hostile takeover by a Bermuda-based Indonesian company known as MegaTech, production never resumed and Vector entered a sharp decline. I’ll get into the rest of that history in another post.

In total, twenty-two cars were produced; seventeen of which were customer cars and five of which were prototypes. The car is now worth over $1 million today; so, if for some reason you ever see a car that looks like this on the roads, drop everything and take as many pictures as you can, because you have just seen one of only twenty-two Vector W8s. Okay, now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way, let’s get to the reason why you’re here.

This... is the Hot Wheels version of the Vector W8. Named the Vector W8 Twinturbo in the Hot Wheels lineup, this casting was first introduced in the 2012 HW Boulevard series in the Ahead Of Its Time sub-series. This casting was designed by Manson Cheung.

The base of the W8 features no mention of “Vector” anywhere; instead, just the SKU is displayed: W4831.

The sides feature the text “VECTOR W8 TWINTURBO” and nothing else. Black lines streak across the back to represent the engine cover.

The rear fascia is nice, although my only real gripe is a lack of rear detail apart from the engine cover.

The front fascia is also well done, with “VECTOR” and “TWIN TURBO” on the windshield, although a lack of detail on the body apart from the side reflectors leaves me wanting more. The interior is painfully cramped so I can’t get any good photographs, but what I see are the Turbo-Hydramatic shift lever, the steering wheel, seats and molded pedals (those pedals are part of the base). The distinctive screen and CD changer are absent from the instrument panel, but of course, you can’t have everything.

Folks, I believe you may have heard of the term “One-Hit Wonder” before. This is exactly an example of that; the W8 only saw one release in the HW Boulevard series and has not been seen since. As a result, prices for the Vector have been steadily climbing on eBay and I don’t see them going down for some time; why don’t you take a look for yourself?

I hope this long writeup has given you a better idea on this turbocharged thrasher, and what is quite possibly my new favorite supercar from the ‘80s; step aside, Lamborghini Countach. As usual, I’d do something like this any day.

This article is the first in a three-part series I will call The Vector Saga. The series will document the W8, the WX-3, and the history of Vector Motors as a whole.

[pcttrailsidereader]

April is the Worst Time to Start the PCT . . . Here’s Why

This is a perennial question that has no right answer.  That being said, it is an important decision for each individual to make based upon snow pack, skill level, tolerance for crowds and need for solitude, pace, and, of course, when you need to be done. Daniel Winsor offers his perspective and outlines a number of considerations.

This post seems an appropriate follow-up to the October 29 post about the changes to the permit system for 2020.  It will become increasingly important because these changes will make skipping the High Sierra and returning later more difficult given new permit regulations.

By Daniel “Beta” Winsor

…ok, ok, so maybe it’s not the absolute worst time. December, for instance, probably deserves that title.

I thru-hiked the Pacific Crest Trail in 2017, starting on March 26th. But if I did it again, I’d start a week earlier.

Heresy, I know.

Because April 15th, plus or minus a few days, has traditionally been THE time to get on the trail headed north. Last season, those permit dates were the first to go, within minutes of the permits opening up. You ask a group online for their opinion, they’ll tell you mid-April. You read a book on the PCT, you’ll get the same answer.

It’s not a very good answer.

Now I’m not saying it can’t be done, obviously many people have started in April over the years and did just fine. I’m proposing that more people think about starting in March, specifically the last two weeks of March. Here’s a few of the rationales behind starting in April, and why March is almost always a better answer.

1. Snow in Southern California

Specifically Fuller Ridge near Mt. San Jacinto and then Mt. Baden-Powell later on. Honestly, there’s not much too worry about here.

I went through Fuller Ridge on April 5th on one of the highest snow years in recent history… and it was about five miles of low angle snow. People were getting through without any snow gear (not recommended). For me, it was slow, but manageable, in microspikes. Hikers with crampons used words like “cake” and “joke” enough to make me wish I had crampons.

People summit Mt. San Jacinto in the winter. You just hiked over a hundred miles to get to Fuller Ridge. You can most likely handle walking along a peripheral ridge for a few miles in the spring.

Mt. Baden-Powell is along the same lines as San Jacinto. The snow is steeper, but only slightly, and longer, about ten miles. Many of us managed just fine with microspikes, but those with crampons ran across with a common theme of “was that it?” once they were off snow again.

If there’s ANY snow in the Sierra you’ll be dealing with (a.k.a. every year that isn’t an extreme drought year), don’t fear the small patches of snow in SoCal. Get your ice axe and crampons out and go boost your confidence. Never used those things before? Go learn! It’s a great opportunity to figure out if you feel ready to tackle Sierra snow or if you need to flip up north to avoid the white stuff.

There is MUCH chatter about those first snowy obstacles. This is the first time you’ll likely see the word “impassible” crop up online…

Low angle snow is never impassible with the right gear.

2. Snow in the Sierra Nevada

If you start the PCT in March, then there will be a ton of snow in the Sierra, right?? Yes and no, it really depends on the snow year.

During high snow years:

…such as 2011 and 2017 (and 2019), starting in March puts you in Kennedy Meadows in late April or early May. Most people will need a few days to put their gear together before entering the snow, then you’ll enter into the Sierra in the first or second week of May. At a comfortable pace in the hard, firm snow, you’ll exit the Sierra in the first couple weeks of June.

Does that sound early? It is, BUT you get to leave the Sierra before the melt happens in mid-to-late June when crossing creeks becomes a harrowing, dangerous obstacle. Traveling on snow isn’t (terribly) dangerous, crossing creeks is dangerous. Snow is slow, but you’ll keep moving safely forward. Swollen creeks have the potential to turn you around or even kill you. Many of the creeks, up to 80% of them, are possible to cross on snow bridges during the month of May after heavy winters.

Unfortunately, a well known rule-of-thumb is to leave Kennedy Meadows on “Ray Day”, which is June 15th. Hikers who followed this guidance in 2017 damn near gave themselves a death sentence. Most who went into the Sierra in the month of June were forced to bail. Some even died.

Go when the snow is still snow.

During low snow years:

…such as the drought years from 2012 to 2016, March is still the better answer. You aren’t racing to get to the Sierra before the melt happens, but seeing the Sierra in at least some snow and solitude before the crowds move in on the John Muir Trail portion of the PCT will be the highlight of your hike.

An earlier start gives you the gift of time also. The Sierra is an incredible place, most hikers consider it their favorite section of the whole trail. Nobody should be running through it. There’s plenty of monotonous hiking in the hundreds of miles ahead to push mileage.

There’s great trail towns and side trips all along the Sierra also, take more zeros! Like Bishop, California? Stay there a couple extra days. Mammoth is great spot to go skiing in June! You’ll hike right by Yosemite Valley, an incredible side trip to go play tourist for a day or two.

3. It’s too cold.

I’d actually flip this concern and consider it too hot to start hiking in April.

Starting in late March means you’ll be hiking through Southern California section mostly in April. The hottest and most waterless sections of the PCT happen 3-4 weeks after you start, just before getting to Kennedy Meadows.

Water is a big factor here too. Seasonal water sources in Southern California start dwindling in early May, some even earlier. Without those intermittent water sources, you have to carry more water. Some stretches can be 7-8 liters, even more if you’re hiking slow. The most I had to carry was five liters, which turned out to be excessive.

Water caches are a personal enemy of mine (more on that later), but they are a (wrongly) heavily relied on source through those hottest sections, sometimes getting hikers in trouble. Caches tend to be well stocked very early in the season, even before they’re really necessary, but many run dry as the folks who were maintaining the caches don’t have the time/energy/money to keep them stocked the whole season. Earlier hikers have a better chance coming across water in the water caches.

TO BE CLEAR: NOBODY SHOULD BE RELYING ON WATER CACHES.

I apologize for all the capitol letters, how annoying. But anyways…

If you start in April, you’ll be walking through 90F days in May with disappearing seasonal water sources and questionable water caches. Starting in March, you’ll be walking through 70F days in April with every seasonal water source flowing and freshly stocked water caches.

One of those sounds a bit better than the other, right?

Oh, but you can just hike through the night to beat the heat? Uh. There’s cool stuff to look at out there. Why would you want to miss it? You could just stick a treadmill in your basement, stop showering, and turn off the lights if that’s all you wanted out of your thru-hike.

…although you’d also have to pencil in some off-treadmill time for the psychiatrist.

As for the cold, if you have a 20F sleeping bag, you’ll be fine. My coldest morning in Southern California was 23F near Big Bear. But then I was sleeping back in the 20’s the last few days in Washington! If I had started later, I’d have been spending the last weeks on the trail even colder, through snow storms and other garbage that NO ONE wants to backpack through in the final weeks of such and long, exhausting trip. The beginning of any thru-hike is the time to be uncomfortable, not the end.

4. There aren’t any trail angels or trail magic around in March.

Wrong. One of the best parts of hiking in the early season is that you’re one of the first PCT faces most people are seeing. You’re ahead of the “herd” of hikers, so businesses are still happy to see you. No asshat thru-hikers (yes, these exist) have come along to put a bad taste in anyone’s mouth yet. You’re still a novelty in trail towns. You’re the ONLY hiker at bars and restaurants. People haven’t seen PCTers in a while, so they want to say hi and buy you beers and give you rides. You know what people want to do when they walk into a bar with 20 thru-hikers? Probably leave after they throw up, because why would a hiker shower first when there’s hot food waiting?!

Big trail angel stops are still psyched on the season starting. You’re in places like Hiker Heaven and Hiker Town with less than 10 other people, not 50 or 60.

Just like thru-hikers, trail angels get worn out as the season goes on. By the end of the “herd”, there’s fewer and fewer trail angels around. Earlier season hikers easily have it the best when it comes to trail angels, and this continues all the way up to Canada.

5. I’ll miss the bubble of hikers if I start in March!

Uh. Good.

Not that all thru-hikers aren’t amazing people, I made many incredible friends on my thru, but think about what happens when there’s 50 people starting the trail every day for weeks before you and weeks after…

What are the odds that perfect campsite is free at the end of the day?

When someone leaves a couple six-packs of IPA’s as trail magic, what are the odds there will be one left for you?

Ever tried hitch-hiking along a road with 20 other hitch-hikers?

You like solitude? Hopefully you’ll get over that.

I don’t mean to say that a ton of thru-hikers on the trail is a bad thing, but some people like it, some people don’t. I prefer a tight-knit group of hikers I can get to know, but spend as much time alone as I want. That’s what I got by starting in March.

Final Consideration: Permits

Note: See the updates to the Permit system in the October 29 post. These changes have occurred after Daniel Winsor wrote this piece.

This upcoming year is the first time permits will be given out in November, before anyone has any idea what will happen during the upcoming winter! This is understandably frustrating for 2018 thru-hikers.

So what’s the safe bet if you’re not particularly good at telling the future? Once again: March.

If you go with an April permit and we have a dry winter, you’re in for a hot, waterless desert section. If we see another high snow year, an April permit will put you in the Sierra right when the rivers get dangerous.

If you go with a March permit and we have a dry winter, you’re in for a pleasant desert hike with decent water sources. If we see another high snow year, a March permit will give you choices: head straight through the Sierra on hard snow before the melt, flip up to Hat Creek Rim while it’s still pleasant, or drink beer in Bishop hoping it all melts (which this year, it oddly did).

The earlier permit thing sucks. No way around that. But if you’d like to play it safe, March is the way to go. The beautiful advantage to starting early is that you can always take more zeros. If you start too late, you can’t insert time into your hike if you need more.

All considered, you have to choose your starting date based around many more factors. Time off from work, time away from loved ones, financial limitations etc. The most important thing about choosing a start date is to allow as much time as possible for your journey. Nobody wants to death march through such an amazing trail. Take your time, stay uninjured, and go camp next to that gorgeous lake! A core regret of many thru-hikers is not allowing themselves time to thoroughly enjoy the trail.

Starting in March will give you that time.

[lemondice]

Rock Band: Something I’m thankful for

In keeping with the theme of Thanksgiving week, I thought I would give a shout out to a video game franchise that’s had an enormous positive influence on my life and my hobbies, that being Harmonix’s Guitar Hero/Rock Band series of games.

When I was 14 or 15, I got Guitar Hero 2 for my birthday and immediately fell in love with it.  I played through the entire game on easy, then medium, then hard, then expert, struggling at each new difficulty level and often getting stuck on specific songs, but ultimately beating the entire game and 5 starring the vast majority of the songs on expert.  They had a remarkable variety of music from all decades and subgenres of rock, and as someone who hadn’t listened to much outside his parents’ collection of 60s CDs (all of which do still hold up as great) they exposed me to a very wide range of new artists and songs to fall in love with, and began my habit of having a pretty broad, eclectic taste in artists.

2 or 3 games later, Rock Band came along, and when I got the drums, a whole new world opened.  I loved the physicality of them, and I loved the sense of accomplishment that came from how close they were to the real instrument.  I also loved the brand new learning curve - hand and foot separation was an entirely fresh challenge that took quite a while to master but paid off when I did.  By pure coincidence, my grandparents happened to be moving to a smaller house around this time, and asked my parents if I might want their drum kit - so now there was an actual kit to make mayhem on too!  I began by playing along to songs I had learned in Rock Band, or sometimes even while watching a Rock Band chart, but within a year or two I had moved up to rocking out to anything in my headphones and making random weird projects (that sounded about as good as you’d expect a project with just drums and melody-free vocals to sound)

Throughout college and the years immediately following, I never joined a band - I was too busy in college, and too worried about not owning a drum kit or car with me in Chicago in the years afterwards.  But through it all, while I would practice on a real kit about once a week, I was still playing hours of Rock Band drums and staying sharp.  Finally, after I met my girlfriend Mia and formed Lemon Knife with her, we’ll still play it for fun, and I’ll still use it to warm up if it’s been a little while since actually drumming and I’ve got a gig the next day.

So this post goes out as a big thank you to Harmonix for making such an awesome, skill-teaching game that’s had a definitive, positive impact on my life.

As some additional content, here’s some thoughts on why the design of Rock Band appeals to me so much as a gamer, and some thoughts as a drummer on what the biggest differences are between Rock Band drums and actual drums.

In terms of design, I think the key gameplay element of Rock Band (and most similar rhythm games), in addition to the physicality and the music, is that each challenge is designed to lead to a great curve of mastery.  You play the game as a series of songs, each of which:

- Is generally less than 5 minutes long, so if you have to restart and try a song multiple times, it’s not a huge frustration point.

- Can be replayed at will.  In addition, most of the games will let you go into a practice mode and practice specific sections of a song.

- Has a variety of levels of success beyond a simple Yes/No (if you’re trying to beat the song, you can make it farther; if you’re trying to 5 star the song, you can keep track of your score and how it’s improving even before hitting the 5 star mark)

- Is fair and unchanging.  There are no random, punishing elements, but equally important, there are no catchup elements.  If you play the same song twice, and you get 150,000 points the first time and 200,000 points the second time, you unequivocally did better the second time.  If you fail a song 10 times in a row, you won’t get any extra powerups the 11th time you play it - you’ve got to beat it for real.

Those 4 key elements make it particularly engaging, as they mean that success and failure are a real matter of practice and experience, practice and experience that the game lets you get by replaying a song as often as you like, so that when you succeed, it feels like pure accomplishment.  I look for those in other genres of game as well (I particularly can’t stand many mobile games for this reason - a lot of them have catchup mechanics to keep players hooked that take away the core challenge.  If I know that I just beat a level because the game lowered the difficulty, there’s no satisfaction in it for me).

Finally, here’s the biggest differences between Rock Band drumming and real drumming, beyond the obvious (like plastic toy vs loud noise-making thing):

1. Your left foot is not used in Rock Band, while on actual drums it gets used to open and close the hi-hat and make hi-hat clamping noises (I’m sure there’s an actual term for these) or for double bass in metal.

2. Dynamics don’t matter in Rock Band - however you hit the drums is okay, as long as you hit the right ones.  On actual drums though, a lot of variety in the sound, especially on songs with a mix of volume levels, comes from dynamics, and you can’t just barely graze the right drums and produce anything sounding good.  There are even a lot of beats that rely on accented notes for their structure.

3. Related to dynamics, while actually drumming you may need to grab cymbals to silence their ringing and get a less sustained tone.

4. Finally, a big one is that in Rock Band, the parts are all there, waiting to be played, while on actual drums you have to come up with a beat, fills, and variations yourself.

Bit of a rambling post here, but all variations on a theme - hope you enjoyed it!  Next time, I’ll be talking about Lemon Knife’s upcoming record, I Know That This Is Vitriol.

[ofcaramelandcoffee]

dude omg i just had the best experience playing ffxv yesterday. my lil promptis heart is more than happy right now

i've been doing the menace quests (the second dungeons behind the locked doors) and i was trying to finish up the last one at costlemark. which, in this dungeon, you cannot use items. thankfully, ignis has a healing technique, regroup, and you can use heal casts that redtore your full hp. but if anyone goes down and needs a phoenix down? you're just gonna have to wait until the battle ends and they're revived on their own, bc you can't use items

i was having some SERIOUS trouble with a room that had two elder coeurls (level 93). these bitches have an ability called instant death. you don't even get to the danger stage, just straight up need a phoenix down. then, there's the boss. bilröt. basically just a level 99 jormungand. same attacks and everything

now here's where the promptis comes in

for BOTH of these fights, gladio and ignis went down. (most likely due to being melee fighters.) it was just prompto and noctis fighting

for the elder couerl fight, i managed to kill one of the coeurls soon after they went down, and had to work on the OTHER coeurl with only prompto. i put his recoil technique on him, and used a shit ton of heal casts. and of course used the armiger whenever it was available. AND SURPRISINGLY, IT WORKED?? they worked SO WELL together after ignis and gladio went down. like i s2g these two completed each other with their fighting techniques. noctis was able to keep out of the way by warping, while still attacking with daggers (elder coeurls are weak to daggers and swords), and prompto stayed out of the way bc of ranged attacks. and using the recoil technique so often, they were able to do a shit ton of damage and save each other from getting hit with instant death. i actually managed to get out of the battle with most of prompto's health still in tact

for the fight with the bilröt, ignis and gladio went down QUICK. neither of them would use their heal cast i gave them, so they died within the first few hits. leaving only prompto and noctis fighting. prompto got beat around a bit, would have to use his heal cast sometimes, but all in all, noctis and prompto did another terrific job??? prompto was able to use his piercer technique a LOT and stayed out of the way with most of the attacks. noctis had to save his ass a few times, pulling him back from being in danger, but otherwise prom stayed out of the way. and AGAIN they worked so well together, they were able to bring it down all on their own

and throughout this whole dungeon? through all 60 floors? link strikes with prompto were the most common

these two just? work so well? together?? their fighting styles meld so damn well, and if they really work together, they can bring down some powerful fucking enemies. i was level 101 when i fought both the coeurls and the bilröt. i only had items that boosted health to be 9999. i didn't have any others. no boost in attack, defense, or magic. save for what food i gave them. all of that work was entirely THEM

i wouldn't have survived that dungeon if prompto didn't stay alive. because of him, i pulled through and made it out alive. and now i can't stop thinking about times where only prompto and noctis were able to keep fighting, and totally kicking ass

i wish i could've recorded it but... that would've been such a big file and long video