#you act the way Sunday envisions you

[heechwe]

dancing with our hands tied ↦ sjy

⋆ pairing: sim (jake) jaeyun x fem!reader ⋆ word count: 7.7k ⋆ genre: semi-angst, fluff, smut (18+/mdni!) ⋆ tags: brothersbsf!jake, minor age difference, college au, friends with benefits, secret relationship, light choking, semi-public sex, oral (f + m receiving), fingering penetration, unprotected sex (please practice safe sex folks). ⋆ synopsis: What began as a simple friends-with-benefits situation with your brother's best friend has turned into something deeper, and you now find that your emotions are more complicated than you initially thought. ➸ bless @temptaetions for giving me so much amazing dialogue to work with and @sweetvenomnet for getting me through finishing this monster!

You did not envision Sunday morning sitting across from your brother, concealing the bottom half of your body with your comforter and Jake next to you in bed. Jay’s face is a jumble of shock and anger, fists balled at his sides. You’re unsure if he’s ready to kick his best friend’s ass or throw him out by his neck, or both.

“How the fuck did this fucking happen,” Jay yells.

Well, you think, the beginning is a lot easier to explain than where we’re at now…

The first night you slept with Jake six months ago was like any other. Jay, your older brother by two years, was home with his best friend for the weekend. They had bonded over their freshman year as dorm buddies and Jay immediately inserted Jake into the family. “He’s like the brother I never had,” Jay would say when people would comment on them being attached at the hip.

It was not unusual for the two of them to stay over at your parents’ house when they were back in town. The university was more than three hours away. If they tried to drive home the same day, it would only end in a headache thanks to the rush-hour traffic. 

It was nice to see Jay succeeding though, his footsteps being ones you’d hope to follow in one day. He had it all figured out, while you were anything but decided. Still unsure about what to do now that you had graduated, you chose to stay home and attend community college in the meantime.

But Jay occasionally being back in your presence meant he had to fulfill his annoying brotherly roles, like boring you with tales of campus and admonishing you for risqué outfit choices.

Like that night.

He stopped you short at the door with judgmental eyes scanning up and down your dress. “Absolutely not.”

You scoffed and pushed him out of your way. The dress hugged your curves just right and the color fit your aestethic. You knew when you bought it that the length wasn’t ideal for everyday wear, but it was perfect for a night out. Jay wouldn’t tell you otherwise. “You don’t have to act like Dad, dude.”

“Listen,” he said, rolling his eyes. “We all know you’re a woman. You don’t need to prove it with a little black dress.”

“Unless you’re blind, this dress is blue,” you mocked him.

“You know what I mean, smart-ass! You’re not leaving wearing that!”

“What’s going on,” Jake called from the kitchen.

“My sister’s about to walk out of the house in a napkin,” Jay responded, sarcasm dripping from his mouth.

“You’re such a prick,” you said, crossing your arms.

Jake sauntered into the sitting room, a bag of chips in his hand. He was taken back by the outfit, his eyes slowly trailing down your body. His Adam’s apple bobbed as Jay continued on his tirade about modesty to nobody but the air.

“You look pretty,” Jake said finally. He popped a chip in his mouth.

Your cheeks turned red instantly. Jay’s best friend wasn’t unattractive to look at, not in the slightest, so hearing him say such a thing even in quick passing made your body tense.

Before you could thank him for the compliment, Jay coughed like he swallowed his own spit.

“Did you just say she looks pretty?” Jay asked in his best friend’s direction.

Jake chomped down on another chip. “What,” he said, his mouth full.

“If I heard that right, you just said my sister looks pretty in her dress.”

“Yes?” Jake’s expression morphed into confusion as your brother’s face went pale.

“Do you have a death wish?” Jay asked.

“Bro, c’mon—”

“No, seriously. Do you?”

You backed up towards the door, making sure not to clack your heels too hard on the tile to be noticed.

Jay, however, sensed your escape. “I meant it! You’re not leaving without putting something else on.”

“Seongie, stop being an asshole. I’m gonna be late,” you whined.

“Dude, all I said was that she looked pretty,” Jake butted in.

Jay turned his focus back to him. “You said the girl you fucked at that club on Fifth was pretty.”

“Bro, I’m not gonna fuck—” Jake ran his free hand through his hair, smiling in incredulity at the ridiculous conversation. “Just trust me.”

“Finish that sentence.”

Jake scoffed, mouth agape. “What the hell, man?”

“Finish. The. Sentence. Jaeyun.”

“Okay, if you’re done being weirdly overprotective and Jaeyun’s done taking back his compliment, I have a happy hour to go to.”

Jay was so preoccupied with Jake at that point that he barely registered your words and your exit from the house. Before he could protest again, Jake interrupted him.

“I’m not going to fuck your sister, Jong,” he says.

“Thanks, that’s reassuring,” Jay responded.

As you closed the door, you heard Jake say, “But if she fucks me, that’s a different story.”

Despite walking down the cobblestone pathway, you heard Jake’s cries from your older brother whacking him. Jay screamed, “You sick fuck!”

Your cheeks felt hot when you finally got inside of your friend’s car. You greeted them with a smile when you sat in the back seat, but your mind kept playing back Jake’s words. He must have had enough pickings on campus and in his hometown to keep him satisfied. He didn’t need to put his effort or interest in you. There’s no way that he would, right?

Five hours later, the clock just shy of 1 AM, you stepped quietly inside to not wake your parents. Tiptoeing up the stairs to your room, you didn’t see Jay’s bedroom light on, certain he was fast asleep. That gave you some relief knowing he didn’t stick around to admonish you for not listening to his forceful advice.

What you weren’t expecting was Jake to be sprawled out on your bed, his body akin to a limp starfish. He had been scrolling endlessly through his Instagram feed until you creaked open the door to your room.

A silent scream jolted your pulse. “Jaeyun, what the fuck are you doing here?” you asked.

“Jongseong told me to wait for you. He wanted to make sure you got home safe,” Jake said absentmindedly, like being in your bed is a natural occurrence by now.

You suppressed the urge to roll your eyes. “Helicopter Himbo couldn’t do that himself?”

“He linked up with some girl he knows…Dahyun I think was her name?”

You sighed. Of course Jay had to hook up with his high school ex when he had no other options to exhaust. You thought Jay had higher standards than that at this point in his life, but he was still Jay.

You nodded. The soles of your feet throbbed from wearing your heels longer than you intended to. You tried to hide the pain on your face, but Jake was quick to walk over to you and feign concern.

“You okay?” He asked.

“Yeah. I’m just slightly buzzed and I’d like to see the inside of my eyelids and forget how bad my feet hurt right now.” You released a breathless laugh. “You can text my doofus of a brother and tell him I’m in one piece.” 

You practically motioned your head towards the door, but Jake only smirked in response.

“Well, first things first, let’s take these off.” Before you knew it, Jake leaned down and began unbuckling the clasps of your stilettos for you. The sight made the alcoholic buzz running through your veins mutate into something sensual. You felt the ache between your legs as Jake’s fingers caressed the skin of your ankle as he was taking off your shoes for you, and immediately you remembered who he was.

This was wrong, and in no way going to happen. Not with someone who your brother confided in and loved so dearly. No matter how it felt every time you looked at him, or if he did intimate things like this that made you question everything.

“I meant what I said earlier you know,” Jake whispered. “And I wasn’t trying to take it back when Jongseong was grilling me about it.”

“I get it. He can be intense sometimes,” you mumbled.

“But you did look pretty. Fuck, you still do.” Jake chuckled to himself and positioned your feet out of the shoes and onto the carpet floor. The fabric felt cool against your toes, and instinctively you released a pleasurable sigh.

“So much better,” you moaned, smiling. “Thank you.”

Jake stood up, his grin infectious. “My pleasure.”

Neither of you moved, and admittedly you were glad Jake hadn’t made his exit yet. In the blur between your gratitude and onslaught of confusing feelings, the tether between your head and your body loosened. 

Then you were kissing him. You were kissing your brother’s best friend and enjoying it very much, an amalgamation of all the passing glances you threw at him when Jay wasn’t looking and the semi-flirty conversations coming to a head in your lips and tongue.

Jake was kissing you back with the same fervor, his hands roaming to the curve of your ass and groaning in your mouth at the sensation of your bodies touching.

“Fuck,” Jake swore and pulled you in tighter, clutching at the hem of your dress.

In a tangle of fingers and lips, you almost didn’t register the feeling of your mattress against your back and the cool air on your skin when Jake pulled the dress down your body. But you did relish in the feeling of his tongue between your legs and how deliciously he slipped inside of you afterwards. And by that point, there was no time to regret and worry about what would happen next. All that mattered was the present and savoring it.

Three weeks after that first encounter, it was easy to forget it ever happened. The next morning, Jay and Jake had gone back to campus without a word. That was normal for them, seeing as they woke early and didn’t want to disturb anyone in the house.

For you, it was a bit disheartening, but it proved exactly what you knew. It was a mistake and a potential repeat was nonexistent. “Jeong’ll never find out and this can stay buried,” you told yourself.

Jay was too busy with his studies to respond with anything but one-word answers to your texts after that, so you gave up initiating anything. Jake, however, began texting you often to either greet you in the morning or say he hoped you were having a good day. It was sweet, but you didn’t read too deep into it. You replied in kind and left it at that.

Then, the boys came back one Friday afternoon in Jake’s Tahoe, and your nerves were live wires at their impromptu arrival. You had not seen Jake since that night in your bedroom. You felt the heaviness of guilt when you welcomed Jay home with a hug. A secret shouldn’t have had the power to eat you alive,  but it did all the same.

And it didn’t help seeing Jake either. His smile took you back to the hours you had spent together in your bed. It was a kaleidoscope of memories. His hands on your hips, his whispers in your ear, his mouth in between your legs— 

“Yo!” Jay waved his hand in front of your face. “I asked if you could help us with the last duffel bag.”

“Yeah, of course,” you said, walking over to the trunk. Jake’s shoulder brushed yours as you moved past him, and you couldn’t help the way your breath hitched. If you weren’t deluding yourself, you could’ve sworn you heard his throat catch in the same way.

You decided to leave the house that night, meeting up with a classmate to take your mind off of what was waiting at home. The Uber driver was polite, not bothering you as you were lost in your thoughts. Thankfully, the tequila sunrise you gulped down numbed your thought processes long enough that you could unwind and converse without rambling on about the situation you were in.

Then, you heard the ping of your phone and saw Jake’s message light up the screen.

Received at 11:23 PM: I’m picking you up. JS doesn’t want you taking an Uber when you’re not sober.

You sighed and typed back a reply with the hand not holding your drink. The words might have been mistyped, but you knew the message would get across to him.

Sent at 11:27 PM: im find u dont ned to come th last guy w nice.

Received at 11:29 PM: Sure. I’ll be there in 15.

You groaned. Jake could be as stubborn as your brother; it was no surprise the two of them became such good friends.

When Jake’s arrival came closer, you said goodbye and walked out of the bar, kicking your feet on the sidewalk gravel while you waited.

His truck’s lights came into full view a minute later. You got inside without a word, leaning your forehead against the passenger window. Just because he was being stubborn didn’t mean you had to be okay with it.

“Have fun?” Jake kept his focus on the road, but he sounded sincere when he asked about your night. While your heart swelled at the tone of his voice, it made the thoughts you tried so hard to suppress creep back in with full force. You were at a loss as to what to say. Honesty was off the table, but you weren’t capable of pulling your heart from your sleeve.

“I was. Not anymore.” You pouted.

You didn’t let him respond to your comment, instead looking around at his car’s interior and changing the subject. “I didn’t expect you to own a Tahoe.”

“What do you mean?” He asked with a chuckle.

“It’s so much space for one person.”

“Well, it was my dad’s truck. He gave it to me before I left for school. Now, I use it to go hiking and stuff with my dog, Layla.”

You smiled and leaned into the seat, looking at him. “That’s hard to believe.”

“That I have a dog or that I actually do physical activity? You’ve seen my body.”

You giggled and turned away. “I guess both. I’ve always wanted a dog, but Jungseong’s allergic. My parents thought plushies were a good compromise. And it all makes sense now. You can’t be that handsome naturally.”

Jake laughed harder. Without warning, he put his hand on your thigh, the feeling foreign yet incredibly welcome. You hummed in pleasure at the sensation. While you would’ve loved to enjoy the moment, your logic kicked in at the scene playing out in front of you.

“Jaeyun, you can’t just do that.”

“Why not? I wanted to,” he confessed, squeezing the curve of your knee. He moved his hand slowly across your skin.

You bit your lip and shook your head. “Just because you want to doesn’t mean you should.”

“Are we still talking about my hand or something else?” You gave him a stern but cutting look, the Are you kidding me evident in your eyes. It made Jake curse into the open air. “Fuck this.”

Jake pulled off into a vacant parking lot of a convenience store, one lamppost barely lighting the surrounding area. He put the car in park with an aggressive fist on the stick shift.

“Okay,” he started. “You want to talk about that night? Let’s talk about it.”

He inhaled a breath. You were terrified of what was unsaid and what he planned on saying, but you knew it was better to put it to rest sooner rather than later.

“I’m not sorry for what happened that night. I liked it and I liked you.” He looked directly into your eyes, his pupils dilating with extreme vulnerability. “I like you. And I’d like to repeat that night as many times as you want, but you’re my best friend’s sister and I don’t know how to accept those two things being true at once.”

You were taken back, his words the ones you wish you could have said to him before he left that morning. You tried to stamp down the truth many times since then, but Jake feeling the exact same way made you realize it wasn’t wrong to want what you wanted.

And Jay didn’t have to know everything.

“I do too,” you responded. “I like you too, and that night is all I’ve been thinking about.” You felt the knot in your stomach loosen, smiling in surprise from his confession. “And I would like to have more of those nights, for sure. In more than just my bed.”

Jake smirked and leaned in closer to you, lips ghosting over yours. “So if I said I wanted to fuck you in my car, you’d let me?”

You didn’t respond to that question with words, both of you knowing the question itself was rhetorical. You pressed your mouth to his hard.

The kiss was a clash of teeth and tongue, the act a desperate plea to pull each other closer after weeks of not being together. Now that you had Jake where you wanted him, you weren’t letting him go. 

Jake palmed one of your breasts over your shirt, and you partially broke away from his mouth to moan. He swallowed it, tugging on your bottom lip with his teeth.

“You like that?” Jake asked, his voice husky.

“Fuck yes,” you said, knowing it was the truth. Nothing felt better than his touch on your skin.

He grabbed the side of your throat with his free palm. The other was hovering over the waistband of your shorts, his thumbs deftly unbuttoning them and dragging the zipper down.

“Tell me now if you don’t want this,” he panted. “And I swear I’ll stop.”

You shook your head vigorously. “If you stop right now, Jaeyun, I might just have to kill you.”

Jake gave you a crooked smile and kissed you again, harder than the first time but just as pleasurable.

His fingers dipped into your underwear, and you both groaned when he found your clit. He was surprised that the little amount of foreplay already made you this wet. You were just glad to have his fingers where you needed them the most.

You moved your hips in rhythm with his digits, the figure-eight patterns he was drawing into your skin creating stars behind your eyes. You released numerous whimpers and gasps into Jake’s mouth as he kept rubbing up and down your pussy, your clit receiving the most attention.

But it wasn’t enough.

“Jaeyun, I need you inside of me, please,” you begged. You gripped onto his shirt tightly to emphasize how bad the desire was to feel him stretch you open.

He nipped your lips again. “Climb in the back seat, baby.”

Jake followed in suit as soon as you moved from the passenger seat to the back. Once he sat down, you had his pants around his ankles and the head of his dick lined up with your entrance, your panties moved to the side to make room for him.

The fullness of his cock filling you to the hilt made your eyelids flutter. Jake knocked the back of his head into one of the headrests, the groan that left his mouth so beautiful you wished you could’ve replayed the sound on loop.

“God, you’re so tight.” He pushed his hips up further into you, the tip kissing your cervix. “It’s fucking incredible.”

You moaned in agreement. Beginning to grind his hips into yours, you licked and sucked the spot behind Jaeyun’s ear. You remembered how much he loved it the first night you had sex, and he loved it even more now that you were partially in control riding him.

He bucked up into you here and there, but for the most part, you were setting the pace. The sounds of your skin slapping against each other as well as both of your moan-laced expletives filled the back seat.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Bounce on this cock. Show me how much you want me.” He trapped your hips with his hands, holding on tight as you continued to grind against him.

“I want to come so bad, Jae,” you gasped. “Please make me come.”

Jake took his index and middle finger and found your clit again. He circled the nub with tenderness as you continued to ride him without mercy. He knew he could come at anytime with how well you were touching him and taking all of him inside of you, but he had no problem waiting until you found your pleasure first.

You felt the orgasm creeping up on you, starting in the pit of your stomach and ready to come to the surface. You begin to grow sloppy with your rhythm, and Jake took extra effort with his fingers to push you over the edge.

“Let go for me, love. Come all over me.”

You cried out, clutching onto Jake’s hair hard as you rode out your orgasm to its full capacity. Jake let go in that same moment, painting your insides white and cursing the entire time at how good it felt.

When you sat down next to him in the back seat, both of you sated and breathless, you knew the path forward was uncertain. And sure, a million questions still lingered in your mind, but you stored them away without a second thought, refusing to let them ruin your current happiness.

This led to where you were with Jake for the past six months, having sex every time he was in town and even sneaking off to visit him when you had the chance. He would pick you up in his truck and hold your hand across the console the entire drive to and from his student apartment. The two of you were skilled at keeping your trysts out of sight from Jay both in your hometown and on campus, the local spots he wanted to take you to and your favorite hometown stores not ones Jay frequented often.

At the same time, Jay had gotten back into a relationship with Dahyun, but you were optimistic for the both of them this time around. He seemed to be really happy, as were you, although he didn’t know the reason why. Dahyun would hang out with the guys and you when she got off work, and the four of you would drink and watch movies together like any other couples would.

The only part that didn’t fit such a picture perfect image was the fact you and Jake were not a couple at all. You slept together and did most things boyfriends and girlfriends did, but there were no labels. It was as if saying it out loud would make it real, and then you’d have to confront the biggest hurdle of all: telling your brother. And you were determined to put that off for as long as possible.

One morning, as you made breakfast in the kitchen for all three of you, Jake slid in behind you without you noticing. You gasped, feeling his chest against your back. “Jae, you can’t do that!”

“Couldn’t help it. Smelled pretty good in here,” Jake responded, kissing the spot that joined your neck and shoulder together, his hair tickling your ear in the process.

“I know, I can’t wait to eat it.”

“I was gonna say the same thing.” Jake smirked.

“Jae,” you reprimanded him, grinning. “Jongseong could come down at any second.”

“But he’s not. Last time I checked, he was still asleep.” The curve of his lips touched your collarbone, making you shiver.

“And when was that?”

In that moment, you both heard Jay yelling “I did it!” in tandem with his quick steps down the staircase. You both split apart in record time. Jake pretended he was searching for a drink in the fridge while you flipped the fried egg in the pan.

“I finally did it,” Jay exclaimed, a wide smile on his face directed at Jake.

“Did what?” Jake asked.

“I got you a date with Dahyun’s cousin Jihyo tonight. Dahyun’s been dying to go out to this new restaurant downtown, and I know you’ve been lacking in the pussy department lately.” You felt the saliva in the back of your mouth hit the wrong pipe, and you coughed.

“You okay, sis?” Jay asked, grabbing you by the shoulder.

“Yeah. Just choked for a second, sorry.” There was nothing wrong with Jake going out; he had no obligations to you. Yet, at the same time, the thought of him finding someone new felt like acid on your tongue.

Jay turned back to Jake, excitement filling his features again. “Come on man, you haven’t picked anyone up in what? Five months? Either your game got terrible or you’ve been holding out on me about some new chick.”

You plopped the fried egg on the plate next to you and motioned for Jake to pick it up. “Over medium, how you like it.”

“How do you know his egg order, freak?” Jay questioned you with a chuckle.

“I asked him this morning, dingbat. While you were snoring in your room and told me to leave so you could get your beauty rest.” Jay gave you the middle finger but you didn’t pay attention to him. You looked back at Jake with shy eyes. “You want toast?”

“No thank you,” Jake said with a smile that didn’t meet his eyes. You could tell when Jake was uncomfortable. His entire body grew stiff at the thought of being roped into a double date with a stranger.

But, avoiding suspicion, Jake said, “Sure man. Can’t promise I’ll be into her, though.”

Jay smiled and patted his friend on the shoulder. “I’ll take it.”

When Jay ran back upstairs to call Dahyun with the news, Jake dropped his plate back on the counter. He suddenly pinned you against it with his hands on your waist, forcing you to look at him. “I don’t have to go on this date if you don’t want me to.”

You shook your head, the faintest frown on your face, hoping it looked more like an expression of indifference. “If you don’t, Seongie’s going to ask more questions. Besides, we’re not together. You don’t have to ask for my permission.”

“That’s not what I’m doing.” He furrowed his eyebrows. If there was one emotion you didn’t show him often, it was ice. But if the alternative was being emotionally exposed in that moment, you would choose the former.

“You know what I mean.” You broke free from his grasp, swallowing the bitter taste in your mouth. You turned off the stove and threw the sizzling pan into the sink. “Hope you have fun.”

Jake waited for you to elaborate, but after a minute of silence, he admitted his defeat and walked out of the kitchen. It cracked a piece of your heart to be so cold, but what other choices were on the table?

Once he was gone, you grabbed your phone from your pocket. Typing out the number in your mind and pressing the call button, you hoped the man you were looking for answered.

“Sunghoon?” You spoke, relieved he picked up. “I need a huge favor.”

“Do I have to?” Sunghoon groaned, straightening the collar of his polo shirt. “This is so ridiculous.”

“Hold my fucking hand, Hoon, or I swear to god I will tell Professor Choi you used my essay on Machiavelli for your paper.”

He released a low, agitated sound and put his hand in yours, squeezing your palm in retaliation. You smiled and walked into the restaurant. 

You didn’t go all out with your outfit. A simple dress and denim jacket fit with the atmosphere of the Brazilian barbecue joint Dahyun wanted to check out. Sunghoon also followed your instructions to the letter, looking presentable without trying too hard.

The hostess made you both wait fifteen minutes or so for a table. Even at 9 PM on a Saturday, past normal dinner time for most folks, the business was still bustling due to the word of mouth from their grand opening a week ago. It didn’t take long though for you to find Jay and Jake sitting at a table in a corner booth. It was like Jake’s presence in any tiny or expansive space was a magnet, pulling you in without giving you space to put up a fight.

“So that’s the guy,” Sunghoon stated, staring at Jake next to your brother. “He’s cute. I see why you’re in love with him.”

“Shut up!” You laughed and smacked him in the chest. He pretended to act hurt, smiling the entire time.

Your Humanities classmate might have been too sarcastic and vain for his own good, but you knew he was a good friend and would always come if you called. And while it was purely platonic, he didn’t mind playing the part of the arm candy for another free essay.

In the midst of your shared laughter, neither of you saw both Jay and Jake walking over to you. Jay’s cough pulled you out of your trance, and you stood stock still at the sight of Jake’s clenched jaw and crossed arms, immediately dropping Sunghoon’s hand in the process.

Jay said your name in annoyance. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Hoon and I have class together, but we decided to have dinner after studying,” you say with a smile. “Funny we’d be at the same place as you guys!”

“You have my location, dipshit,” Jay said with a stone face.

“Just because I have it doesn’t mean I look at it,” you said in your defense.

Hoon held his hand out to both men, but you knew it was bait specifically meant for Jake. “Nice to meet you.”

Jake clenched his jaw even tighter. You thought he would break the bottom half of his face if he kept it up. To your surprise, he grabbed Sunghoon’s hand like a pure gentleman. Jay did the same.

You immediately felt so small. It didn’t have to be this way, trying to pull a front for this guy that wasn’t even yours. If it took this much effort to be exclusive, a title you didn’t fight for to begin with, maybe it wasn’t meant to be.

When Sunghoon let go of Jay’s hand, you grabbed him by the bicep. “We can just go somewhere else. We’ll probably wait another hour before getting a table if we stay, anyway.”

Jay agreed. “I had to book this in advance, so she’s probably right.”

Jake looked directly in your eyes when he said, “Hope you have fun.” Mirroring your words from earlier, Jake’s were laced with spiteful sarcasm.

Sunghoon put a hand on the small of your back and guided the two of you out of the restaurant. It took everything in you to not turn back and reveal it all in that stupid restaurant, but you circled back to your initial thoughts. What would it do attempting to claim him now? It was already pointless.

You didn’t make it home until midnight, spending the night scarfing down Chinese with Sunghoon in his apartment and watching old seasons of New Girl together. It was a bitch thinking about what it would be like when you got home. Jay would quiz you on Sunghoon and his motives or Jake would get defensive on what you were doing with the guy to begin with. Or both.

The last piece of advice Sunghoon left you with as he drove off was to “be honest” with Jake, if that was any bit as simple as it sounded coming out of his mouth.

You stepped inside your house without a care for your noise level, knowing your parents were off on an overseas conference for four days. And what were the chances the guys had gotten home by now?

 But, like the first night you had spent together, Jake was waiting up for you in your room, sitting stock straight with his hands in his lap.

You didn’t freak out or feel shocked by his presence. You were glad to see him actually, but greeting him with anything but a hello would have been inappropriate given the last few hours.

“Hi,” you began.

“Why have you been gone so long?” His voice was clipped, matter-of-fact but laced with authority. The mixture of sadness and anger in his face surprised you. Jake was always fun, silly, casual…never like this.

“I lost track of time.” It was the easiest answer to give him, even if it wasn’t enough to assuage his concerns. “We just ate takeout and watched sitcoms.”

He nodded and stood up. Walking closer to you, the emotions on his face registered to you so clearly now. The anger was simply misplaced pain, unsure where to go but in front of you for an answer. “What do you want from me?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m asking you what this is, what are we doing here?” He ran a hand through his hair. “Seeing you tonight with that dickhead was all I thought about while eating that churrasco and listening to Jay’s dumb jokes. And if that’s against some unspoken rule, I need to know.”

You gulped down a heavy bubble of air. It was now or never. Choose to either lose the guy you had spent so much time with by keeping your feelings to yourself or risk him breaking your heart by being vulnerable.

“I don’t want you going on dates with anyone else.” You beginning with that wasn’t perfect, but you were out of ideas.

He nodded. “Okay.”

“Sunghoon’s a friend, but you’re my best friend. And you make me feel like nobody else ever has.” Your lip quivered. “I feel like an idiot for not saying it before, but I’ve liked you since the second Jay introduced all of us to you. And maybe all you want out of this is exclusive sex and I’m even more of an idiot for saying all of this but—”

Jake caught your mouth in a perfect kiss, effectively shutting you up. A tear passed between your lips, but he was all you tasted. He pressed his forehead to yours, eyes bright and expression full of mirth. “You’re a beautiful idiot, but still an idiot for not realizing I feel the same..”

You gasped. Grabbing his shirt, you pulled him back in hungrily.

The subsequent kisses and touches were ripe with the things you didn’t know how to say in words but could easily express with your body. Every kiss on his jaw told him how enraptured he made you feel. Each pass of your hands exploring his naked skin expressed why you saw nobody but him in the most crowded room. And when you took him into your mouth, you hoped Jake knew why it was so easy to fall for him and want nobody else.

“Just like that,” he said, tenderly grabbing your hair as you stroked what you couldn’t fit past your lips.

It didn’t last long. Jake pulled you in his arms and said, “I want to be inside you.” 

Jake held you as you sunk down onto him. Your legs were wrapped around his waist as he sat on the edge of the bed, rocking his hips up into you. No matter how many times you had sex, it still felt incredible feeling all of him fitting around the spaces inside of you. You wished he could occupy them forever.

“Fuck,” you exclaimed, clutching the hair at the nape of his neck. Your bodies were slick, foreheads touching but slippery from perspiration.

But it didn’t matter how loud you were being or how sweaty your skin became. All you could focus on was the words that came out of Jake’s mouth. “God, I love you so much.”

It didn’t make you slow down, instead riding him faster and kissing him fervently in response. You mewled into his mouth, feeling yourself coming undone quickly.

“I’m gonna come,” you announced.

“Right there with you, sweetheart. Come with me,” he said, and so you did. You felt the warmth of him inside of you in tandem with the downfall of your orgasm, siphoning every drop until you were spent.

When you were lying next to each other, however, you remembered those three little words that slipped from his mouth.

“You said you loved me,” you stated in post-coitus bliss, covering half of your face with your comforter.

“So what if I did?” He was glowing, and it only made you smile harder. “So what if I do?”

You smirked and pecked his lips sweetly, nipping his bottom lip. “I love you too, you goof.”

You woke up next to each other that morning, both in a euphoric daze despite your fatigue. You also took into account how you now held the title of Jake’s girlfriend, a majority of the reason why you were a thousand leagues above cloud nine. Jake showed his joy in the form of his tongue pressed to your clit. 

But it didn’t last for long.

You weren’t fast enough to cover yourself when Jay barged in asking whether or not you had seen Jake at all. Little did he know he would find his best friend in the last place he ever expected.

Which led to now, your brother interrogating the two of you like you committed the worst crime humanly possible. In a way, you could see why he would think such a thing.

“So you kiss my sister—” Jay starts.

You cut him off, grabbing Jake’s hand. “I kissed him first.”

“Then you decide to hook up in my car.”

“It was actually my car.” Jake counters, squeezing your fingers with his own.

“And now I find you guys here in your room”—Jay looks directly at you—“just doing whatever the fuck you were doing before I came in.” His face is red from the shock. “How long has this been going on?”

“Six months,” Jake says.

Jay takes a deep breath of air into his lungs, his body rising and falling at a rapid rate. He’s probably grateful your parents can’t hear him yelling. Otherwise they’d come in and ask more invasive questions while you’re not in the position to answer them, half naked and all.

“And where was I while you guys were fucking behind my back?” Jay asks, darting his eyes between the both of you.

“Hanging out between Dahyun’s legs?” You hypothesize, throwing your other hand in the air. “How the hell are we supposed to remember?”

“And you expect me to believe you kissed his scrawny ass first?” Jay asks you.

“Dude, you’ve seen me shirtless,” Jake remarks, rolling his eyes.

 “True, but it’s not much of a show, bro.”

“Seriously, this is not the point!” You yell, placing your face in your hands.

“Yes it is! You’re my sister!”

“And she’s my girlfriend,” Jake interrupts, “so you need to get your head out of your ass and stop acting like she’s not capable of taking care of herself.”

Jake stands up to Jay, the two of them face to face with each other in a way you expected when your relationship came out of the shadows. You don’t want Jay to feel betrayed, but at the same time, it will kill you if Jake gets hurt trying to stick up for you.

“My priority will always be looking out for my family.” Jay turns to you, disappointment clear as day in his eyes. “No matter how I’ve shown it, I didn’t expect to be branded the bad guy for wanting to protect you.”

Jay slams the door on his way out. Tears prick your eyes, silence permeating the bedroom.

Jake sits back down next to you and places a few kisses on the curve of your shoulder. “Believe it or not, but I think he took it better than I thought he would.”

“He hates me,” you sob.

“He doesn’t hate you. Maybe me, but never you.” Jake takes your hand and kisses the inside of your palm, tucking it gingerly between his fingers. “Nobody could ever hate you.”

“I need to fix this, though.” You swiftly kiss Jake’s lips before standing up to get dressed, throwing on a pair of gym shorts and one of his shirts you stole. When you go to Jay’s room, it’s empty. But you hear the faint notes of a guitar from somewhere on the first floor of the house.

You walk down the stairs to find Jay strumming his favorite Yamaha in the living room, the one your father brought home from a trip to Japan for Jay as his graduation present. You step towards his spot on the couch quietly, but he’s already too adept at sensing your presence. He stops playing but says nothing.

“Hey,” you say.

“Don’t.” Jay’s voice is gruff. “Don’t ‘hey’ me right now.”

“Well, if you’re looking for an apology, I’m not going to give you one.”

The two of you are silent, unsure where to take the conversation next. What was there to say? Yes, you felt guilty for keeping Jay in the dark, but either way, the situation would hurt him. His best friend and his younger sister falling in love is not ideal, but feelings couldn’t be fought. All the same, the deceit sat in your stomach like a stone, begging to be thrown away.

You sigh and sit down on the love-seat, adjacent to Jay’s spot on the couch. “I really like him, Seongie,” you confess. “No. I, actually—I love him.”

Jay looks directly at you for the first time, his eyes a bit puffy. “Are you happy?”

“What?”

“Are you happy? Does he treat you well?”

You laugh. “I mean we’ve only been a couple for about 12 hours, so—”

“You know what I mean, asshat.” The two of you share a laugh together, the mood much lighter than before. “Do you see a future with him?”

You nod. “Yeah, I do.”

“Then I can’t get in between that. I just wish one of you would’ve fucking said something.”

“And I would’ve, but you know Jaeyun.”

Jay nods. “He’s a wimp.”

“No,” you shake your head, smiling. “He just didn’t want to hurt you either. He loves you, and I love you, too.” You run a hand through your hair, contemplating your next words. “I’m just not a baby anymore, Jongseong. I know how to handle things.”

Jay nods, sniffling. “I know. It’s just…hard.”

“What is?”

He puts his guitar by his side. Clapping his hands together, he tries to brush off whatever emotion is surfacing. “It’s nothing, I don’t know. Stupid, probably.”

You move positions to sit closer to your brother, placing a hand on his knee. “Nothing you say to me could ever be stupid.”

He knocks you in the shoulder with his fist lightly. “It’s just—when did you get so grown up? You gotta stop doing that.”

“If I did, I’d be dead.”

“True.” Jay chuckles. “I’m sorry for freaking out.”

“I’m sorry for keeping it from you. And I hope you and Jaeyun can talk, too.”

“We will. For now, I’m just glad we did.”

Nodding, you open your arms for a hug, a hug that Jay gladly accepts. It’s a tight one that encompasses both a white flag of retreat and a sincere love for you that you forget to remember sometimes in the midst of his teasing and admonishment. You now know, more than ever, it’s his way of protecting you and proving he cares.

And you’re grateful to have both him and now Jake by your side through all your successes and slip-ups.

“You don’t seriously think I’m okay with you wearing that dress again now that you have a boyfriend, right,” Jay asks. “I’m even more against it because Jake will have a heart attack.”

You chuckle and twirl in the mirror, checking the back of your dress to make sure it’s sitting right on you. “He thought I looked pretty in it the first time.”

“Well now, he’s not worried about you looking pretty. He’s worried about other douchebags checking you out.” Jay flips the page of his book, trying to feign a nonchalant expression. “I’m just saying, he’s still my best friend. I know things.”

You poke your tongue out at your brother. The doorbell rings and you rush to answer, your heart beating at a vigorous pace in your chest.

Once you open the door, Jake’s standing there with a bouquet of flowers and a lopsided grin on his face. When he sees your dress, however, his smile falters a fraction.

“Oh my god, Jay was right!”

“I usually am,” Jay yells from his space in the sitting room armchair.

Jake looks confused, but the realization dawns on him in a flash. “No, you look beautiful. It’s just…a bit short, don’t you think?”

You pout, crossing your arms. “I spent so much time getting ready, Jae.”

“I know, sweetheart.” He takes his free hand and rests it on your hip. “And everyone will be able to see that. I just don’t want to have to fight anyone off at the restaurant.”

You giggle. Going in for an impromptu kiss, you smell the traces of his cologne. The scent could make your knees buckle, but you try to stay confident and lull your boyfriend into submission. “I’ll only be looking at you. And I can defend myself just fine, baby.”

Jake’s bottom lip juts out. “So, I can’t convince you to change?”

You shake your head, grinning.

Jay sneaks up behind you, making you gasp. “If she isn’t gonna listen to her brother, she’s definitely not gonna listen to you, man.”

Jay and Jake exchange a handshake. You’re relieved their relationship has recovered from the reveal of your relationship, but you know that means they have the potential to gang up on you more out of their misguided sense of protection.

“I have the advantage though. She’s in love with me,” Jake sing-songs, kissing you on the cheek after doing so.

“Regardless,” you say, “I’m wearing the dress.”

Jay rolls his eyes. “Just change, for fuck’s sake.”

Jake nods. “Pretty please?”

“Not a chance in hell, boys.”

[gracieheartspedro]

Somewhere With You

Part 4 of How Long

pairing: f!reader x brother-in-law!joel miller

FIND Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 HERE!!

description: sleeping with your exes brother is one thing, but envisioning a whole life with him? that's a dangerous game. but you did it. now you're here, and tommy is fucking pissed.

word count: 5.3k

warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, pre!outbreak joel, there is smut in this part!! fear of being caught by sarah?, unprotected p in v, oral sex (f receiving), joel is a CONSENT KING, dirty talk, overstimulation, titty fucking (yw caly), light violence, tommy is literally evil.

author's note: jesus christ i'm so glad I am finally here with this. I feel like finishing this is my greatest success in life lmao. I will probably continue this series but this is the last part for a while. I appreciate everyone's love on it and I can't wait to get more stuff out to y'all!

“Are we going to have a celebration when we get home?”

Joel laughs, “Yeah, we can. What did you wanna do?”

You just listen to Sarah list off all the possible ways to celebrate winning the tournament. The movies, going to the mall for new jeans, going to the local ice cream parlor every night of the week. Joel shakes his head at that one as he turns the truck onto the highway. You have your knees up to your chest, the zip up Joel let you borrow hanging off your shoulders. You had complained about how cold you were all weekend, so Joel shut you up by tossing you his zip up. You haven’t taken it off since. 

The sun was setting over the horizon, drawing the Sunday to a close. You had to work in the morning and you were dreading concluding the weekend you spent with Joel and Sarah. 

Everything with them seems natural. It felt like family. 

You did not want to face tomorrow, especially when there was no set plans as to when you would be hanging out with them again. 

Luckily, Sarah has not mentioned much of anything about what she saw early Saturday morning, so there was no awkward tension. The only time it came up was when you all were tired from Saturday’s events and you arrived back to the hotel room.

“You two sleeping together tonight, too?” She asked, her eyes heavy with exhaustion. She wasn’t even trying to be rude or demeaning, she just wanted to know if she could fall asleep in one of the beds without being stirred. 

“Yeah, you can have that bed hun.” Joel answered. 

Sitting on those horribly uncomfortable bleachers and cheering Sarah on had taken a lot out of you, so you were ready to throw yourself into the plush mattress, too. 

You watched Sarah throw herself onto of the comforter, sinking into the pillows face first. It makes you giggle while you grab your pajamas to change. 

Joel nudges you while you dig through your duffle, “No funny business tonight, ma’am.” 

You shake your head, his comment making your stomach turn upside down with nerves. You smack his chest with the back of your hand, “No duh, asshole.”

Sarah puts her headphones on, drowning out Joel’s humming to an old country song. You just stare ahead, watching him speed pass car after car. His truck revs every time he does it which makes you clench your knees a bit tighter. 

“In a rush, dear?”

The nickname makes his heart race.

He taps his fingers, trying to act like that nickname doesn’t drive him insane. “Want to make sure to get you home so you can be rested up for work in the morning.”

“That’s mighty sweet of you, but take your time. I’m in no rush.”

He eases off the gas a bit, taking your advice. 

“You talk to your Mama lately? She still likin’ Maine?” 

It wasn’t a question you were expecting coming from Joel. You had told him about your mom around the time that she moved away, however long ago that was. You truly didn’t expect him to even remember.

“We talk every week, she likes it there. Wants me to come experience a winter there, so I may go up for Christmas,” You explain, remembering back to conversation you two just had last week. She wanted you to feel what fluffy snow felt like and maybe go skiing with her. 

It makes Joel’s heart sink a bit. Not because you would be visiting your mother, but instead you would not be here to spend Christmas with him and Sarah. He had already planned on making a spot for you at the dining table. 

“That’d be nice,” He licks his lips, contemplating if he should say what he really wants to say, “‘M bettin’ she misses seein’ your beautiful face everyday.”

You smile, your cheeks burning hot at Joel calling you beautiful. You knew you had to throw him off and give him a sarcastic response to keep him on his toes.

“Gonna freeze my ass off there. May have to borrow some of your flannels.”

He chuckles, tilting his head towards you, “You already havta’ have about four of my t-shirts, now that hoodie. You wanna raid me some more?”

“If I’m remembering correctly, you said I just had to “get with you” to get clothes,” You’re whispering, leaning into him. You don’t want Sarah to hear the words you’re speaking to her father, “How many times do we need to go at it before I get one of those denim jackets you own?”

He peers over at you. You smirk, quirking one eyebrow up.

“You with me to get my clothes or somethin’?”

“That and other things,” You tease, pulling away, leaning your back against the seat again. 

Joel peers into the rear view mirror. Sarah is asleep, her headphones blasting her favorite pop album. He tilts his head towards you, his eyes not leaving the road, “You’ll havta remind me of those other things when we get home.”

He could get used to always having you in his passenger seat. 

-

Sarah was dead asleep in the backseat, so you both decided to get all the stuff from the back inside before nudging her awake. You quietly shut the door, grabbing Joel’s one bag from the driveway and slinging it over your shoulder. 

You follow close behind him as he unlocks the front door and places Sarah’s stuff on the staircase. 

The idea of having to leave made you want to scream. You didn’t feel like driving home and laying lonely in your own bed. You didn’t want to resume your boring life at work. You just wanted him. 

This weekend made you realize that you really couldn’t live without him. You’re not only comfortable around him, but he’s exciting. He cracks jokes and compliments you when you don’t expect it. Those couple of months without him were still months he was plaguing your mind, even though he wasn’t physically around you. 

You snap out of your thoughts quickly. You start watching Joel’s muscles restrict over his gray t-shirt and it’s enough to send you to your knees. You didn’t even realize how crazy he was driving you. His messy curls that were trapped under a hat most of the weekend are finally loose and curling up his neck. And the way his jeans hugged his ass while he walked away from you? You didn’t know how long to could refrain from telling him you needed him, right this second. 

“I may call out tomorrow. Too tired to sit on my computer all day and run reports,” You say while he wonders back to you from his bedroom down the hall. You’re hoping it leads to an offer.  

He nods, tossing his keys on the entry table next to you,“Yeah, I am off tomorrow. Have to get this house in order and make sure Sarah actually wakes up for school in the morning.”

No offer. Maybe you could propose it?

“Maybe I could just spend the night.”

The air is thick instantly with tension. You can hear the hitch in his throat. Once you say it, you realize how desperate you must sound. But you want to be able to lay next to him again. You want and need him. 

“If that’s what you wanna do, sweetheart. I don’t mind none. Love havin’ you here.”

He grabs your waist lazily, pulling you into his chest. The connection sends chills down your arms. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to you to think I’m being needy.”

He doesn’t even hesitate, he just bows his head to capture your lips with his, giving you a slow sensual kiss. You move your hands up to his neck, pulling him down further into you, eager to be close to him. 

When he realizes that’s where it’s going, he pulls up for air. 

“Lemme go get the last couple bags and get Sarah inside.”

As he says that, the door flings open behind you. A sleepy Sarah blinks at both of you, shaking her head instantly when she sees her Dad’s arms wrapped around you. You push back, flinging yourself backwards and away from Joel. 

“Can you lovebirds do that somewhere else,” She groans, while rubbing her eyes, “Don’t need another sibling created right in front of m-”

“Sarah Jane!”

-

You smile when Joel drops onto his mattress with a huff. 

“So…” You drift off, crawling onto Joel’s lap, “You come here often?”

He chuckles, his hands beginning to trail your waist.

“Come here quite often, actually,” He jokes, his hands resting right under your shirt and on your hips. “How about you?”

You hum, “Not really. Maybe a couple times. Would love to come around, more though.”

“That so?”

You lean down, using your fingers to pull back his brown locks and pivot his head upward. You kiss him gingerly, smiling at his small groan.

You pull away, “I’d love to come to your bed every night, Joel Miller.”

The guttural moan he makes sends a rush to your core. He grabs the nape of your neck and brings you back down to his lips. He takes control of your movements, switching positions by gently laying you back. He leans over your body, his lips carrying the weight of his emotion. You’re scrambling though, tugging at his shirt, trying to rid it off his body. He pulls away to throw it off his body, motioning you to do the same. Soon, you two are completely naked.

“I never get sick of this view,” He rasps, his eyes raking your body. 

You smirk, “Back atcha, babe.”

He positions himself on top of you, his lips lingering on your neck and collarbones. 

Joel’s kisses are always intentional. It’s like he knows every pressure point on your body. His lips are always wet and supple, dragging across your soft skin. 

When his mouth reaches the skin around your breast, you start to arch up for more contact. He grabs your stomach, pushing it softly down onto the bed. 

“Patience, baby,” He mumbles, kissing the same area on the other breast. You jerk up again, absentmindedly.

“Can’t help it,” You whine, trying not to sound so desperate. 

He clicks his tongue, “You can and you will.”

His lips wrap around your nipple and you just watch with hooded lids. His eyes are closed, so focus on teasing every inch of your body. You can feel the slick pool between your legs at the sight. 

“Joel, please.”

He releases the pink nub, “What, baby? Use those words.”

“I want you all over, Joel.”

“Yeah? Where? Here?” 

He grabs your breast roughly, making you mewl. 

You finally gesture down. Your hand slides between your legs, dragging up and down your own slit. You gather as much slick as you can, bringing it up to Joel’s surprised expression. 

“I see…” He brings your fingers up to his lips. You gape at his next actions, amazed that he’s so filthy. He takes your two fingers and licks them like a popsicle. You audible sigh as he sucks on your fingers like a man starved. 

“You goin’ to be extra good for me?” He asks when your digits escape his mouth. 

“Always am.”

Your voice is shaky when you say it. It makes Joel smirk. He loves when you sound ruined.

“Love hearing those words come out of your pretty little mouth.”

He crawls down your body, peppering kisses from your stomach down to your thighs. You watch him closely as he props your thighs over his shoulders. He does not waste time, diving straight into your divine center. You try to refrain from screaming his name, knowing Sarah may not be asleep yet. You clap your hand over your mouth while he licks your sensitive clit. He lays his tongue flat, pressing into you as he shakes his head back and forth. When he does that, you yelp into your palm. 

“Mmm, baby girl wants to be loud so bad,” He chuckles darkly, using his fingers to spread your lips, “You wanna be loud for me huh?”

“Yes, please, God,” You pant, “Need you in me, Joel.”

“Yeah? Lets stretch you out a bit,” He doesn’t even give any warning when he sinks his fingers inside your pussy. “Gotta make sure you’re nice and ready, baby girl. Want you to cum before I stick this cock in ya.”

You swallow, letting him take the lead like usual. You liked it this way, when he ravishes you with his abilities and you get to cum several times. You never had sex like this in your life, especially consistently. 

His fingers curl inside you, pumping in and out. You can hear how wet you are, the wetness sequelching against Joel’s fingers. Your pussy is graced with his tongue again while he fucks you with his digits. It’s like it’s pulled out of you. The orgasm sends white hot flashes to your vision. You know you’re saying something, but it’s no word in the English language. 

When you come back down from euphoria, Joel’s ontop of you again. He’s kissing your cheeks, mumbling something about how beautiful you are when you cum. 

“Joel, please,” Your hands grab onto his biceps, “Want you inside me.”

His cock drags along your navel, as he situates himself between your legs. 

“Yeah? Always so eager,” He grabs his cock with his free hand, “Wanna try something a little different?”

Your stomach drops, “Like what?”

He toys with your nipple with his pointer and thumb, “Always wanted to fuck these.”

You smirk at the thought, your stomach finally at ease.

“You want to fuck my titties, Joel?”

“If you’ll let me,” He squeezes your boob gently, “Think these things are perfect. Want my cock right between them.”

You nod, “Fuck ‘em then, baby.”

He pulls you up, practically shoving you on the ground beside his bed. He wasn’t being aggressive, just guiding you to follow his lead. You sit on your knees, watching up at him as he pumps his cock over you. You use both hands to push your tits together. He grins as he touches the head of his cock to your hard nipples. 

“So good for me,” He groans, slipping his cock between your cleavage, “Obeyin’ me and doin’ everythin’ I want. My fuckin’ dream girl.”

He starts to fuck your squeezed together tits as you stare up at him with a completely spent expression. You dribble some spit down between the break in your breast to lube up the area. Your pupils are blown and you feel the wetness of you slit soaking the skin of your legs. You can tell by the look on Joel’s face that he could cum at the sight of you. 

But he stops and instead, grabs your bicep and tosses you back on the bed. You watch him crawl up between your legs, his face untamed and filled with anticipation. 

“Need to cum in that pussy,” He pumps it a couple times before slipping in between your pussy lips, “Do you need me to put on a condom or anything? I don’t have to fuck you raw every time.”

You bite your lip, “I like feeling every part of you, Joel. I promise.”

“Mmm,” He hums, sinking his cock head inside you, “Love to hear that, baby.”

You circle your hips, practically fiening for him to sink all the way into you. He takes the hint, plunging into you with one snap. Once he’s finally sheathed in you, you groan out which only instigates him. He draws out and back in, his pace painstakingly slow. You grip onto his forearms, digging your nails into them. Maybe he will take the hint that you need it faster. 

But, no.

“Words, darlin’. Tell me what you need.”

You choke out the words, “Faster. Harder.”

He kisses your lips, shushing you as his tempo picks up. He wants to feel the vibrations of your moans. He knows if you’re too loud there may be listening ears, so kissing you will hush the sounds of pleasure. He sits up and repositions, grabbing the back of both of your legs, practically folding you in half. You smirk in delight, watching his furrowed expression focus on your body’s reactions. 

“This pussy is mine,” He huffs, watching himself plow into you, “All fuckin’ mine. Ya know that?”

“Yes,” You manage to peep out, “It’s yours, Joel.”

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” He spreads your legs, opening you up nice and wide. His thumb finds your responsive clit, circling it with the momentum of his hips, “Cum for me, baby. Soak this fuckin’ cock.”

Your body reacts in the way he finds so satisfying. Your hips lift up as the climax takes over, your whole body shaking at the ecstasy he brings you. He doesn’t let up, chasing his own bliss. You are so overstimulated, you are just gasping for air. He starts to falter, his pace slowing as he coats your insides with his cum. 

You start to chuckle when his body practically collapses onto you. His sweaty curls stick to your perspiring cheek. You find yourself kissing his temple, practically thanking him for fucking you so good every time.

He stands up, his half-hard dick slipping out of you pain-stakingly slow. You whimper at the feeling, still a mess from your orgasm. 

“God, you are perfect,” He mumbles, his hand slipping down your bare thigh, “Could fuck you every day for the rest of my life.”

You are still awestruck by the interaction, you don’t even know you’re saying it, “Why don’t you?”

He smiles while he helps you sit up, “I will. Now let’s get you all showered and ready for bed, huh?”

“Yes, please.”

-

Luckily for you, your body naturally wakes up at 5:30AM. You creep out of the bedroom, making sure not to stir Joel awake. You find the house phone and call your boss, letting her know you were “sick” and needed to use a sick day. She just mumbled a “whatever” and you hung up, heading back to the warmth of Joel’s bed. 

Joel wakes up as soon as you crawl back into bed, but he knew he had to get up and make sure Sarah got ready and off to school, anway. He cuddles you for a bit, watching you nod back off to sleep. He let you sleep in while he cleaned up the house a bit. He tries his best not to much too much noise, not wanting to rattle you awake. 

You did wake back up when you heard the vacuum. You pull yourself together, putting your hair up into a bun as you stumble out of the bedroom. Joel stands in the living room, not even aware you’re behind him. He jumps when he notices you in the threshold, turning off the vacuum. 

“Mornin’ sleepin’ beauty,” He laughs as he wraps up the vacuum cord. 

“Mornin’ handsome.”

You watch him roll the machine back into the hall closet before taking note to how nice and clean the house looked. 

“Looks good in here,” You mumble, noting how every surface looks dusted, “It’s missing one thing. You have a vase?”

He silently nods, looking at you confused.

“Go fill it with water, I’ll be back.”

You walk towards the front door, swinging it open as you begin tip toeing to Joel’s side garden. He had started it with Sarah years ago, and for the most part, it was completely overgrown. Some flowers still bloom in the Texas sun, so you pick the prettiest from the dirt. Once you have a bundle, you practically jog inside to show Joel your bouquet. 

“Hmm,” He smirks, “Didn’t think we needed flowers.”

“Well, you do.”

He shows you the vase on the coffee table, letting you take on the responsibility to make it pretty. He watches you carefully, your tired eyes trained on the task. 

You were his dream girl, truly.

Once you’re satisfied with your arrangement, you make a grand gesture. 

“Beautiful, baby,” He beams, wrapping his arms around your waist. He drops down onto the couch, pulling you into his lap. 

“Who me or the flowers?” You joke.

“Both.”

You give him a lazy kiss, smirking into it. 

This part of life with Joel is so domestic and perfect. You two could create this little world and live in it forever. He appreciated your silly antics, knowing how neglected this side of you must have been with Tommy. He didn’t care about the small gestures like Joel did. 

It was so reassuring being with Joel. He praised you like you had never been before. 

As you pull away from his lips, you hear a door slam outside. Before you could even react, the front door swings open into the house. You sit on Joel’s lap, turned away from the front door, completely dumbfounded.

“What is going on here?”

His voice scares you. You don’t even want to turn around in Joel’s lap to face him. Joel slowly helps you out of his lap, his eyes never leaving Tommy’s. 

When you finally turn to face Tommy, his eyes are wild and bright red. He looks like he hasn’t showered in days, his longer hair greasy and standing in all sorts of directions. It’s not his appearance that scares you, it’s the energy he’s brought into Joel’s living room. It’s the same scary tension you experienced when he lashed out on you before. 

Joel finally speaks up, clearing his throat. “What do you mean?”

But Tommy isn’t talking to Joel. He’s looking at you. 

“Are you fuckin’ my brother?”

He’s pointing at you, his finger waving at you like an adult who’s scolding a child. You open your mouth, but you can’t say anything. Your throat is dry, the shock and terror taking ahold of your vocal chords. 

“Tommy, we aren’t doing this.”

Joel puts himself in between Tommy and you, ensuring he doesn’t creep closer to you. You want to believe Tommy would never get physical with you, but the way he looks now, you’re not one hundred percent positive. 

“That’s not what I fuckin’ asking, Joel. Are you two sleepin’ together?” 

His voice is booming, bouncing off every corner of the room. It makes you shrink three sizes. 

Joel places his head up, warning him silently not to get any closer, “Tommy-”

“Answer the fuckin’ question!”

You want to curl into a ball. You knew this would fucking happen. You knew he’d go insane. 

You look at Joel finally. You realize your eyes were trained on Tommy in terror, unsure on how to console him. Joel licks his lips, rolling his eyes a bit. You just nod, trying to answer Tommy’s question without saying anything. You didn’t want him to realize how shaky your voice was. 

Once he gets confirmation, all hell breaks loose. He’s pushing on Joel with his chest, screaming expletives at him. You stand in the corner of the living room, your body practically wedged between a lamp and the couch. You want to become one of the dustbunnies on the floor boards, not wanting to be apart of this situation.

“You’re a fuckin’ asshole! You fucked my girl-“

Before he can even finish the statement, Joel becomes a brick wall. He’s staring down at Tommy now, all the while snot is running down at his little brother’s face. He looked pathetic. As he nudges Joel’s chest, he hardly moves a milimeter. Joel doesn’t even hesitate when he says the next words. 

“Not your girl.”

You truly cannot believe the words coming out of Joel’s mouth. You knew what he was insinuating and it brought chills up your back. Tommy’s movements completely halt and he stands there in a stunned silence. Joel’s jaw is slack, his eyes trained down at Tommy. It’s a stand-off. 

Tommy crooks his head to the side, like he’s stretching it. “You want to pull that shit now, Joel? I knew you wanted my sloppy seconds the moment you told me she was at your house that night.”

Being referred as “sloppy seconds” makes your blood boil. It’s so dehumanizing. 

“Stop talking about her like that,” Joel warns, his voice a whole octave lower. 

“No,” Tommy growls, his gaze finally falling on you again, “You’re a whore. Just like your stupid sister.”

You swallow hard. It’s finally your moment to shine. The burst of adrenaline chorusing through your veins finally propels you forward, pushing Joel out of your way. 

“You’re the town whore, Tommy Miller. You fucked your way around Austin and then came home to me every night,” You are shaking. Luckily, your voice isn’t wavering, “You lie. You cheat. You are a decietiful little shit. And I’m so glad you are because if you hadn’t slept with my sister and told me, I would have never realized how terrible you were to me all these years. I wasted so much time on babying you.”

The vein in his forehead is bulging and it makes you smile a bit. 

“If I could go back in time, I would’ve saved my fucking tears and ran the other direction.”

He has the audacity to giggle, “Instead you ran right into Joel’s arms.”

You don’t hesitate, “You never gave a damn about me, he actually did. I should’ve taken the hint the moment he brought me flowers for my graduation, and you showed up with a flask.”

“You graduated college! Big fuckin’ deal! Get over yourself!”

Now you’re laughing. 

“Bite me, Tommy,” You reach out and grab his t-shirt, pulling him into you. It makes Joel super nervous how close he is to you. He knows Tommy’s temper and how easily he will snap. He doesn’t know the next words about to come out of your mouth. 

“You cheated on me, you fucking loser. I told you then we were done that night, did I not? What I did after that point is not your business. I’m not yours anymore. And your brother, he treats me real good. Way better than you ever did. He can actually last, unlike you,” You smack your lips together, “He can fuck me better than you, that’s for sure.”

Joel’s eyes widen at the words. Tommy looks completely dazed, but as soon as the last line leaves your mouth, he pushes you backward, right into Joel. You squeak at the contact, your brain registering that he actually put his hands on you. Joel quickly grabs you from tripping over him, and places you behind him quickly. Tommy reaches out for you, but Joel stops him meer inches from your face. 

“Fuck you!”

Tommy tries to throw his hand at Joel’s head next but it’s quickly stopped by Joel’s forearm. Instead of Tommy continuing the fight with you two, he takes it out on the new flowers and vase you just put out on Joel’s coffee table. He uses all his force, grabbing the vase and launching it towards the wall. The glasses shatters, water splashes on the wall, and pieces of flowers litter the floor. 

The action sends Joel pushing Tommy backward and against the wall. You want to yell out for them to stop, but all that comes out his Joel’s name. 

When he pins Tommy to the wall, he finally turns to you. 

“Don’t.”

It’s the only word you can say. You’re shaking, your eyes welling with tears. Joel knows you don’t want to see him demolish Tommy with his fists, so he thinks quick. He grabs Tommy’s collar, dragging him out the front door. 

You follow far behind, not sure what Joel’s gameplan is. 

Tommy is yelling, telling Joel to unhand him. Joel just tightens his grip. 

“Coming into my house, talking to my girl like that. Fuckin’ disrespectful little shit.”

“Fuck you, Joel,” Tommy yells, his voice probably waking the neighbors. Joel launches Tommy’s body into the front yard, right near the flower bed. You watch from the doorway, wanting to keep your distance from the confrontation. 

“Remember when you had temper tantrums when Momma told you no as a boy? Nothings changed. You’re an immature little brat.”

Joel reaches down into the flower bed, grabbing the hose. Tommy is still on the ground, scrambling to get up. Joel does something so unexpected, it makes you yelp. He starts soaking Tommy with the hose. 

“Yeah, like the girl said before,” He aims towards Tommy’s face, “bite me.”

Tommy starts to spit up water, jumping up and away from the stream of water. Instead of tackling Joel like you anticipate, he just shakingly wipes his hair out of his eyes. 

“You two are sick. Fuckin’ sick. And everyone will know about this.”

It makes your heart sink to your stomach. You don’t really care if anyone knows anymore. You knew this was going to be the worst part, but its the way he makes it sound like a threat. 

“I bet they will, I just don’t give a damn.”

Joel sprays him while he stands up, making Tommy groan and yell out in annoyance. Joel just smiles, sickly. 

Tommy storms off to his truck, dripping wet from the shower Joel just gave him on his front lawn. Joel tosses the hose back into the garden, satisfied with his work. You two stand there, watching Tommy do a burn out and speed off down the road. You breathe out loud, your hands finding your face. Joel glances between his neighbour’s houses, ensuring there is no one outside watching the events unfold. He did not care if they did watch, but he knew you would probably care. 

He grabs ahold of your shoulders, guiding you back inside the house. Your eyes instantly fall on all the shattered glass and flowers as you walk inside. Joel ignores it and brings you into the kitchen. 

Your mind is racing. You knew every word you said to Tommy was right deep down. But the girl you were, she wouldn’t have instigated his rage. She would’ve sat there and took every word he said to heart and believed them. 

But the girl you are now, that girl is completely ruthless. You are petty. You are harsh. You are angry. 

You kind of scared yourself. 

“Joel-”

“No baby,” he mutters, “You better not say what I think you’re gonna say.”

“Joel, we can’t d-”

“We can. Because fuck Tommy. Fuck everyone,” He grabs your hips, letting his hands settle softly on your curves, “I want you. I want you so bad. I am not lettin’ you get away. Tommy can tell everyone in the fuckin’ world about us, and I won’t fuckin’ care. What he says doesn’t reflect you. You did nothin’ wrong. Okay?”

You swallow. You know he’s right, but you’re so scared of all this fallout. You don’t want it to scare you away from Joel, but it’s nervewracking to wait around and anticipate all of the chaos that will follow this incident. You did not want to tear apart a family. It’s the same feeling you had the morning after you first slept with Joel.

You’re scared to have him because of what it means for him. It means weird holidays and weird stares at grocery stores. It means you will be known as his brother’s ex girlfriend never just his girl. 

You don’t realize it, but you’re staring past Joel. He tilts your head towards him, making your eyes connect. 

“I love you, okay?”

His words make your heart flutter with relief. Maybe that’s what you needed. You needed him to finally say those words. Because those words were hanging in the back of your mind, simmering, waiting to be said.

“I love you, too, Joel.”

[9w1ft]

i declare

thinking about the tortured poets department the song, and the charlie puth line, and how maybe like, the act of declaring he should be a bigger artist helps place the song into the greater timeline.

because it’s a sort of weird thing to say in 2024 of an artist that’s no longer up and coming.

charlie puth got his start in youtube in the late 2000’s and released his debut single in february 2015. and leading up to that he had several EP’s and promotional singles. it made me curious, at what point might the people en masse start to pay him attention? i checked google trends and as you can see here he gets a huge jump between the 2014 and 2015 data.

(he then gets a further jump toward 2016 when he did a promo single featuring megan trainor, and then doing “see you again” with wiz khalifa. (coincidentally this song becomes one of the guest duets featured in the 1989 tour movie))

and i was looking around at articles from this time period, when i ran into this tasty morsel:

so i clicked on through

take a little ride with me

so to summarize, charlie puth had his breakout star peak over the course of roughly 2014-2016, during which he was up for an award at the 2015 MTV VMAs. he doesn’t win, and in fact, he loses out to taylor herself! later on in the article it talks about him going to an after party and hanging out with taylor selena and others. so it had me thinking, i could almost imagine taylor talking with her friends that year or that night, or even declaring to charlie himself in the wake of his loss and her win, in a giddy manner, at the party they are reported as having talked at, that he deserves more success than he gets. in this way i came to the conclusion that the timeframe of 2015-ish (rather than 2023) really fits the spirit of the lyric “we declared charlie puth should be a bigger artist”

and

yes.

yes fam.

the 2015 vmas was that vma’s.

that vmas.

let me pull quote an excerpt from the billboard article as i included above, just to emphasize:

4:40 PM: Charlie has the good fortune to walk the carpet in the wake of Taylor Swift’s gaggle of supermodel friends, including “Bad Blood” star Karlie Kloss, leading photographers to alternately yell “Charlie! Karlie! Charlie! Karlie!” as if it were a hectic version of Name Game. While on the carpet, Puth chats with multiple news outlets, and later he says of the dealing with the paparazzi, “It’s amazing that we view people in unnatural states and just love it. I don’t really understand it — it just makes me very uncomfortable. But, whatever. I’m so appreciative to be here.”

such a fun convergence of events, don’t ya think?

and just a few extra points i thought i’d add:

first, i don’t know how many of you remember how taylor was behaving that evening, but don’t you think she was giving major golden retriever energy??

both in how she was chasing after karlie that night,

and also… call me crazy but, her hairstyle??

(also she’s in a houndstooth print, har har)

and i can kind of envision this taylor, who brought the whole bad blood music video crew as her entourage, having more than several bars of chocolate at hand for everyone that night, but ending up eating them all herself 😆

and another thing that helps tie the song to this time period (maybe some of you have guessed?) the line “who else decodes you?” is extra apt because… *da da-da daaaaa*

🤗 karlie had just embarked on her coding journey!

on a more solemn note? i don’t think it requires too much of a stretch of the imagination to see “but you awaken with dread” “i chose this cyclone with you” among other lines pointing to the new layer of stress taylor probably was harboring around being with karlie in public. because this is all taking place in the year directly following kissgate 🥺

so there you have it folks! this is why the tortured poets department is a kaylor song to me 😌

[c0la-queen]

I absolutely LOVE your writing, it's so nice to see eddsworld content especially this good <33 can I request Tord with a very shy partner? No pressure ofc, take your time!

Thank you!!! My neurons were absolutely firing with this piece, for realsies. It may not be exaactly what you envisioned? And I was trying not to make the Reader be the stereotypical "uwu im so shy sowwy" kind of shy? You know what I mean? Either way, I hope you enjoy, and if its not quite what you wanted, PLEASE feel free to send me an inbox message letting me know !!!

Run, Rabbit, Run. | Tord x Shy! Reader

Warnings: Mostly Tord's POV, not the fluffiest? it has a happy ending, but Tord is naturally a kind of fucked-up person.

---

Tord had a problem.

He doesn't have problems often, and certainly not problems he can't solve.

It wasn't every day that he wanted to be around someone - craved it. He acted like he only tolerated his roommates, kept the truth locked away under thick layers of steel.

But you. He sought you out, needed you like it ached. Your presence.

You, however, ran from him. Every time. Fled like a rabbit that had caught a glimpse of the stalking wolf. Scurried back to your burrow, safe and protected by densely packed earth. Where he could not reach you. It grinded at his patience, made him clench his jaw hard enough to crack a tooth. He walked into a room, you found an excuse to walk out. It was a constant among the chaos and unpredictability of their house.

The one thing that he needed like a dying man, and he couldn't have it. You wouldn't give it to him.

A problem.

He was going to fix this problem, if it meant the death of him.

And who was he but a stubborn man?

--

His opportunity came during a lazy Sunday afternoon.

The other three were all out, running errands and such. You were still home. Doing laundry, from the sound of it. He wasn't surprised, you liked to use Sunday as the day to do your household chores, reset for the coming week - not that he had been paying attention to your habits. No. Just coincidence.

From the garage, he could hear you. The wall that his workbench sat against was one that was shared with the laundry room, so it wasn't difficult. If he sat still, focused enough, he could practically imagine it. You, in your crop t-shirt and little sleep shorts that you always wore when you did laundry. Hair pushed out of your face. Dancing along to the music that he could hear playing from your phone - doing those silly, awkward dance moves that you did when you thought nobody was looking.

He wanted to be there. It was selfish, he knew. But that little undamaged piece of him sitting in his chest longed to join you. Insert himself into the little life that you had carved out for yourself in their house. Slot his own being so nicely beside your peace and quiet. You were so… unlike him. You were soft, sweet. Like the skolebrød of his childhood. You were vanilla and sugar. Unmarred by anything horrible in the world. That self-centered part of him wanted to take. To clamp his jaws down around your hind legs and sink his teeth in when you tried to escape.

Tord was moving before he even realized it.

You had moved out of the laundry room. Your music faded as you walked further into the house. If he remembered correctly (That phrase tasted bittersweet on his tongue. As much as he craved you, he didn't want to admit how actively he was chasing you. A wolf that resented the rabbit.) you would set about doing the dishes after depositing your empty laundry basket in your bedroom.

His mouth was dry. So he moved to the kitchen. To get water. (That's what he would tell you. That's what he would tell anybody who asked.)

The switch from the garage to the house was always jarring to the senses. The garage was cold, unprotected from the autumn chill. But the house was warm. Welcoming. Safe. (You were inside.) It was like sitting under a hot shower after catching hypothermia.

He stopped in the doorway.

There you were. In the kitchen. Dishwasher open. Your smartwatch was discarded on the kitchen table alongside your phone and water bottle. Music was still playing from the device's speakers. You were, just as he guessed, wearing your crop tee and shorts. (The collar was hanging low on one of your shoulders, bearing the skin to his vision. His hands itched.) You hadn't noticed him yet. Little rabbit unaware of the danger that lurks in the forest underbrush.

It was something beautiful watching you in your own little world. In public, you were so small. Reserved. Put a cork on your personality so that nobody could truly see who you were. To you, it felt like security. If nobody had access to your identity, then nobody could take it away. Nobody could judge you. Even home, with the boys, you were less than yourself. Not to the same degree, but still limited. They didn't take offense to it, they knew it wasn't you distrusting them. It's just how you were. But here, when you thought you were alone? The cork was removed and he loved to watch the bottle overflow.

You spun on your heel and nearly dropped the bowls in your hand from how hard you flinched at the sight of him. He could see the way that you drew in to yourself, made yourself smaller.

"Oh, um, hey. Tord. I didn't… realize you were home."

There was something tight in his chest at the way you looked so nervous. You shifted in your spot, looked anywhere but at him. He wanted you to look at him.

"I am."

You only answered with a soft 'oh' before turning back to the dishwasher. He remained still, watching. Clearly, you were looking for a way out, a chance to flee. Something he wasn't going to let happen.

"I should probably-"

"You keep avoiding me."

Your head shot up, looking up at him with wide, pretty eyes. He dug his fingernails into his palms.

"What? No, no I haven't- I haven't been-"

"Do not lie to me."

It was cruel, yes, but it gave him the desired effect. You clammed up immediately. Shoulders slumped. Gave him just a little inch, but that was all he needed to take a mile. He stepped closer. You stepped back.

A snarling, drooling, hungry wolf, closing in on its prey.

Your back hit the counter. He stepped forward again.

A trembling little rabbit, cornered with nowhere to go.

He stopped a foot away from you.

"I have tolerated this for months. For months I have watched you run from the sight of me alone. As if the very idea of being in the same room as me is too much for you to bear. Do you even have any idea what you do to me? Do you know how it kills me?"

He could feel the way that you tensed up. A spike of anger stuck into his chest, burning hot. You weren't looking at him. You were looking at your shoes again. He forced his words out of his throat in the form of a growl.

"For fuck's sake, look at me. Look at- Look. At. Me."

Frustration boiled over, bubbling and spilling over the sides of the pot and he wasn't able to put the lid on it fast enough. He reached up and grabbed your jaw, holding it firmly between his index and thumb. Forced your eyes to focus on him. Only him.

A sick part of him preened at the little gasp that came out of your throat.

But you kept your eyes on him. Good girl.

"Tell me why you have been avoiding me."

His voice was softer now. He hated how much pain he could hear in it. How it trembled. He had hoped you wouldn't notice. But you did. Your mouth opened. Then closed. You swallowed thickly. Then you spoke.

"I thought…. thought you didn't like me."

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Him? Not like you? How could you think that? He could only hate you as much as a hunter hates Mother Earth for blessing him with food.

"You just… always seem so.. annoyed at me whenever I try to talk to you. And you never really… really talk back.. Just kinda… give short answers. I thought you found me annoying. I didn't want to keep annoying you. So I just… just backed off…."

He took a moment to process that. Let it all sink in.

He couldn't help it.

Tord began to laugh.

Through his laughter, he noticed you pout, heard a soft whine leave you. A groan ripped through his laugh at the sight. As if his body was working on autopilot, he surged forward. Pressed his lips to yours. He felt your gasp against his lips, then felt your melt into the kiss. You kissed back.

When his oxygen began to run short, he pulled away. Not too far, though. Kept his forehead pressed flush to yours. Took in the sight of you. You, panting softly, lips swollen from the kiss. Looking up at him through your pretty eyelashes.

"I have never hated you, kjære. I am… aloof. I have a resting bitch face. You are not the first person I have unnerved. But.. you are the first that I have wanted to be close to. If you would have me."

Courtesy. Formality. Tord was a stubborn man, and when he managed to get a taste of blood, he clamped his jaws down tight and didn't let go.

And this rabbit laid down in his teeth willingly.

You smiled.

"I'd like that. Yeah."

[sweeterhoni]

MINORS DNI! have this before i drop the full fic somewhere between friday - sunday, this week!

not proofread. this snippet will be deleted before the full fic is out ! first part's pinned in my blog .

childhood friend!jake x afab!reader . r18 and sensitive topics (religion + dub-con themes)

wednesday came, and the field was packed with students. mostly women, who prepared banners with jake’s name.

it wasn’t enough for his drive, he appreciates all the support as he bowed a thanks to the crowd but his eyes search for you. he was desperate to see you with his last name and number, he wanted to see you brand yourself as his unknowingly.

the players whistled, it indicated your arrival. it was easy to spot you, you were everyone’s favorite and there was a huge number of guys who crushed on you. jake never liked that fact, even if you show no signs of interest in them. it just never sat right with him. he visibly showed his upset when you covered his jersey with a jacket. he strode and stopped completely in front of you, prompting you to get closer to the rails.

“give me your jacket” and it wasn’t a question or suggestion, he demanded. tapping the rail before having his arm stretched out, you complied in fear he might mess up later’s tryouts. without another word, jake retreated to his corner and started his warm up.

this little interaction left you dumbfounded, he watched how your mouth formed an o. he sucked in a breath with his fists clenched, he wanted to hover his thumb over your lips and command you to suck– he wanted to but he can’t.

not when your eyes glossed over the field, concerned if jake was in a sour mood or if her presence would make the tryouts go haywire. jake caught sight of your restless figure, you sat away from a friend and settled by the railings he figured you were nervous, probably overthinking the outcome of the tryouts and he found himself host a coy smile when realisation hits. he was all you can think of.

it became a boost to his drive but he was sure he’d also get hard if he’d envision you being fucked while you wear his jersey, and it wasn’t hard for jake to not have these thoughts. you entice him in ways you weren’t aware of and he wanted to indulge in it, if he gets to fuck you later.

. . . . .

the tryouts went smooth, now you’re seated in jake’s car after being promised that an ice cream date would be the best way to celebrate.

but only that? jake woudn’t settle for that. you knew him, his achievements were always celebrated in a grandoise way. so what exactly does jake have in mind?

would you have to spend thousands for the ice cream?

you arrived at a conclusion that your wallet might cry, you shivered and played with the hem of jake’s jersey. how innocent.

on the other hand, jake wanted to make you cry. he wants to make you beg, to introduce you to a world where he can be the only god you worship. ice cream was a cover up, he’d take you back to his apartment and devour you. his eyes would catiously glance to you, watching how you bite your lip and showed signs of anxiety. your eyes, there were tears threatening to fall and — oh how he loves the way you turn your head to the side to wipe the stray tears.

jake started wondering if you’d turn away from him when he starts fucking you. he wondered if you’d bite your lip or whine and let the neighbors know that their favorite angel was screaming for her new god’s name. he wondered if you’d ever been touched, let alone, fucked?

will he be the first?

he felt his pulse race, his hands were shaking in excitement at the mere thought that he would be the first to break you. in a hurry, jake gripped the steering wheel and accelerated.

“jake!” you whined in shock, you huffed and breathlessly repeated his name.

fuck. jake no longer knows if you were scared or if you were pleading. do you know? could you hear his thoughts?

it was driving him insane. if you knew and played along his act, or if you really don't know... jake just can't think straight when all he wants is to have your body on his. he ached, this time, it was unbearable. he had to act, you were already there. why would he wait any longer? when you look like you're ready to take him in right then and there.

“dove.. princess.. let me touch you.”

he spoke, his breathing was heavy and he flushed a dangerous shade of red. he looked angry.

“you trust me right pretty girl? come on, move.”

[merp-blerp]

A Gaylor/Kaylor Interpretation of "But Daddy I Love Him", Despite It Being Obvious, 'Cause Happy Pride

Overblown Analysis Under the Cut ↓

"I forget how the West was won // I forget if this was ever fun // I just learned these people only raise you // To cage you"

The opening line is a reference to a film called How the West Was Won (1962). I'm not well-versed in this film, but I know that older American Western films and the American cowboy aesthetic in general often represent male masculinity, and by extension, male heterosexuality, romanticized into picture-esque imagery of wealthy, cis, white, straight manly men ruling the West through violence. All this despite the fact that historically, many cowboys (not just boys/men, of course, so cow-folk maybe, if that's even a term) were broke queer people, often people of color, trying to survive. Similarly to Taylor, these individuals have had their queer history erased all for the sake of marketability and giving a general audience a more traditionally palatable and relatable portrayal of reality to consume. (For more on this topic, Kaz Rowe has two great videos on queer cowboy history and the queerness of cowboy movies, if that interests you.)

With "how the West was won" not being capitalized like a film title, it seems clear that while she's referencing the movie, she's not directly talking about How the West Was Won (1962). I think this line might hark back to "Cowboy Like Me", a song about Taylor (and her lover) swindling the public into assuming they're straight and the industry "rich folks" into thinking they'll abide by their rules forever. If she continues to beard and swindle she'll win the hearts of the general public more and more, or the hetero "west", but she forgets what the benefits of doing that at the unknowing cost of her happiness were. From my perspective, if Taylor forgets how the West was won, she's saying she forgets what the long-term value of hiding her queerness with straight narratives and beardings had in her mind once upon a time. She forgets if she ever found the beardings/stunts fun in her youth because she has now learned that "these people", likely industry people who have had hands in her career, only closeted her for their own money benefits, not truly caring about her at all.

"Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best // Clutchin' their pearls, sighing, "What a mess" // I just learned these people try and save you // 'Cause they hate you."

I think many songs or moments in TTPD are Taylor envisioning/anticipating what could happen if she were to come out. Obviously, the main source of bigotry against queer people is warped religious beliefs, so the "Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best" are homophobes in this reading, but considering Taylor's fanbase and the feminine names chosen, they could very specifically be swifties who are overprotective of Taylor. Swifties who do deplorable things in the name of protecting Taylor's honor, such as doxxing gaylors online because they disagree with them and see suggesting Taylor's queerness as immoral. These types of swifties will often call the act of speculation on Taylor's queerness "gross" and lean on the reasoning for that being that speculation is invasive, even though Taylor herself has never commented against speculation of her queerness in any way when she very well could if it bothered her. Therefore they have no actual clue if that's how Taylor sees it, it's just their homophobic opinion that the suggestion of queerness is gross and they project the opinion onto Taylor as if anti-speculation should be universal when it's not nearly that simple. They see the act of the Taylor sexuality discourse existing as a mess.

If Taylor is queer, seeing that a number of her fans find queerness disgusting would produce incredibly negative feelings, whether it's anger or sadness. While I don't think every anti-speculation swiftie has these particular feelings towards it (it's complicated and could have a post of it's own), some hetlors hate speculation because they know that it could be correct. If Taylor were out as queer she'd become a "queer thing" they couldn't enjoy the same way anymore; she wouldn't be their mirrorball anymore, and that's terrifying because for many that's Taylor's appeal. If she's queer she's no longer this bestie, big sister, twin from your dreams type of artist to hetlors, she's this "other" that belongs to "others". This subsection of fans try to defend her because they, consciously or not, hate the idea that an assumed "straight" woman could actually be queer and unlike them. And therefore they indirectly hate her. The real her. They'd rather have the brand Taylor Swift because they can relate to it more, so they don't want to see her. "You needed me, but you needed drugs more" (from "COSOSOM"). They try to "save" her from being seen/out 'cause they hate her.

"Too high a horse // For a simple girl // To rise above it // They slammed the door // On my whole world // The one thing I wanted."

Both the "Sarahs and Hannahs" and "Elders" exhibit a sense of superiority Taylor feels like she can't rise above by being simple. Many anti-speculation people see their opinion as the politically correct thing to do. Therefore it's superior to speculation in their eyes, despite the fact that speculation can be a critical step to finding other queers and even can be used as a form of coming out—letting people speculate. They're on "too high a horse". The attempted Lover coming out was very simple, with Taylor flagging rainbows without an obvious showing of potential contempt she had for the industry that closeted her, unlike TTPD, which exhibits much anger towards it. But the simplicity was partly why the coming out attempt didn't work. Taylor's general fandom still viewed her flagging as nothing because she didn't say anything and harassed gaylors while the SBs foiled the biggest part of her plan that would've freed her. In "I Hate It Here", Taylor mentions that she only "rise(es) above" her closeting in her fantasies for now. Instead of getting to come out, her closet door was slammed shut. Her identity, her whole world, was still in the shade of the closet.

"Now I'm runnin' with my dress unbuttoned // Scrеamin', 'But, Daddy, I love him' // I'm havin' his baby // No, I'm not, but you should see your faces"

The title of the song is pretty unanimously agreed to be a reference to The Little Mermaid (1989), which of course came out the same year Taylor was born. Arial yells this at her father when he discovers her hidden interest in the human Prince Eric before destroying her collection of human artifacts.

It's worth remembering that Arial in the film says that she is 16 years old, the same age Taylor was when her first album was released. Arial is still at an age where she would still be under her father's thumb, as she's a child, even if she doesn't feel like one. Meanwhile, Taylor is now in her 30s. She should not need her father's permission to have an interest in someone. The whole scene Taylor paints with these lyrics seems comical, Taylor running after and begging her father as her clothes come undone, maybe because she was caught in the act of making love to this "him", or she's going erratic and ripping her clothes off. Then she screams that she's having her apparent lover's baby. The story becomes more and more soap opera levels of dramatic till Taylor pulls the wool from over the listeners's eyes and reveals that it was all a lie once the facade becomes too crazy to believe unless you're gullible. It's easy to see just the "No I'm not" as a direct response to simply "I'm havin' his baby", but I think it's a response to the whole first half of the chorus. She's not a teen girl begging to be allowed to date, she's an adult.

"You should see your faces" directed at the listeners could be Taylor teasing about the shock on their faces at her wild story or the fact that it's a lie, but it could also be Taylor mocking the look of enjoyment the listener gets from her fake story, which represents her real life beard narratives. The dress unbuttoned story getting crazier and crazier seems to mirror how the real-life bearding narratives get more and more fantastical, at least in my opinion. With the current "Tayvis", Taylor is selling a high school fantasy of the popular cheerleader-type girl getting with the football boy, even though Taylor has never truly been the popular cheerleader-type in reality; she was a bullied nerd during her actual schooling days and has always portrayed herself as separate from the "cheer captain", instead being "on the bleachers" in "YBWM". Then there's the Joe vs. [Rat-dacted] narrative, where Taylor was reportedly head over heels for Joe for 6 or so years, with him not caring that she was famous and seeing her for her, till they suddenly "broke up" and the narrative changed to him stifling her. Then it changed again to her actually being deeply in love with [Rat-dacted] the whole time instead, with Joe simply being an elongated rebound type of relationship. And it gets even more confusing when you try to attach the original [Beard-DJ-dacted] → Tom Hiddleston → Joe Alwyn narratives into the mix. It's all just unraveling into less and less sense. Yet the Sarahs and Hannahs probably don't question a thing because the narrative is still straight, so what's there to ponder?

TTPD's first ever easter egg was "red herring", which is a tool meant to mislead the audience in storytelling, but an attentive audience member might be able to see past it, especially in time/hindsight. The dress unbuttoned story is a red herring to distract from the real story Taylor illustrates in the next half of the chorus, especially when the song is titled after the lie portion of the song. And by extension, in her whole career, all of Taylor's beards, many of the he/him pronouns in songs, lyrics like "your buzzcut and my hair bleach" in "Dress", and songs like "London Boy" and "So High School" are thinly veiled red herrings that keep up the surface appearance of straightness to distract yet invite the listener to dig deeper into the true queer stories in her music once noticed.

"I'm tellin' him to floor it through thе fences // No, I'm not coming to my senses // I know he's crazy, but he's the one I want."

Taylor now tells the listener what she's actually doing. She's telling her lover to run away, presumably along with her, especially with the song's end depicting the lovers returning to "town", but more on the ending later. The lover is still masked by he/him pronouns, but the story is still the truth. (While I do think the "he/him" in this song is in actuality a "she/her", it is interesting to view the first half of the chorus using "he/him" as a part of the red herring Taylor is telling.) In the lie, Taylor begs for her father's permission to love, but in reality, and in a lot of her music throughout her career, Taylor disobeys any disapproving peers and flees with her lover. They could either be fleeing out of the closet, or fleeing away from disapprovers. "Floor it through thе fences" reminds me of "And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences" from "Peace". The phrase "swing for the fences" means "to make a big effort to do something that is very impressive or important, but is difficult to achieve, especially if there is a risk of failure" according to Cambridge Dictionary. Both coming out and being in a glass closet can pose many risks. So Taylor telling her lover to floor it or rush through the fences could mean to run away quickly or have the double meaning of taking a big risk, like coming out or flagging when they should be closeted, along with herself doing the same.

The recurring storyline of running away and/or disregarding naysayers has appeared in songs like "Love Story", "Run", "Call It What You Want", "Speak Now", "MAATHP", "Down Bad", the unreleased "Better Off" from as far back as 2005, and so much more. Going against the grain is her reality. In her music she was never "Scrеamin', 'But, Daddy, I love him'", or just pleading to be accepted, but always running away, dreaming of an environment where she could be accepted, and refusing to come to her senses and just letting the cookie crumble passively. But her beards don't reflect the stories in her songs beyond the surface-level red herrings. The first half of the chorus is the flimsy public narrative, and the second half is the reality.

Taylor's lover is described by her as "crazy". Asylums are a recurring theme throughout this album. Historically and culturally people who were put into asylums were often dubbed "crazy" and mistreated rather than receiving the help they might've needed if they were truly in need at all, as some people who were put into asylums weren't even ill, just perceived as such, similar to queer people who are seen by homophobes as ill when queerness is natural. In this album, asylums represent the industry that raised Taylor and treated her like she was crazy. In the song "TTPD", both she and the lover call themselves crazy, so she and the lover are both in the asylum or industry.

From a specifically Kaylor perspective, Karlie Kloss, particularly in the years before meeting Taylor, has always seemed "louder" than Taylor. And not quite as disciplined in keeping her straight narrative(s) up properly (i.e. Kar recently posting an anniversary pic about being with Josh for 10 years when it's supposed to be 12 years by now. But who has she allegedly been with for 10 years as far as the public's known for sure...?). Through my interpretation of Tay's music, it seems like Kar is Taylor's driving force to potentially come out, as her albums up to 1989 seemed more keen on staying caged and being okay with it, but albums after that have felt like attempts to at least claw on the closet door. Being in a committed relationship with someone willing to be loud might risk Taylor's safety in the cage, so being with someone as "crazy" as Kar is a risk, but she's the one she wants.

"Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid // Tendrils tucked into a woven braid // Growin' up precocious sometimes means // Not growin' up at all."

Taylor mentions growing up precocious in at least 3 different songs on TTPD, this, "The Bolter" and "I Hate It Here". It's definitely something we're supposed to pay attention to. In "You're Losing Me" Taylor mentions being a pathological people pleaser, which lines up with her talk of trying to be the perfect "good girl" who didn't force herself onto people since childhood in Miss Americana. Often, AFAB people who behave this way are told that they're being very mature by being quiet, whether it's quiet in general or quiet on world issues instead of speaking up. As someone who also grew up precocious, it was always easy to get told you were doing a good job by just sitting pretty and never expressing anything. But these traits might begin to backfire the older you get as you suddenly realize that you never got to be a child, but you also weren't really an adult when you were called "mature for your age", so you might end up regressing in a way or just confused on how to actually be an adult properly.

If you're like me, you believe Miss Americana was originally meant to be a coming-out documentary, or a documentary meant to explain Taylor's journey with her sexuality, released after coming out, before those plans were foiled. Her early developmental years are likely a part of why she isn't out yet. She wants to come out in a very specific way that's more than "just saying it". Especially since theirs a lot at stake with her coming out the bigger she gets, the more employees she has to make sure get paid, and the more she has to protect her family. She can't be a "simple girl" and "rise above it" at the same time because the situation is way more delicate now than it was during the Lover era.

In Miss Americana and "The Archer", Taylor mentions feeling like she is stuck at the age she got famous, 16. If we see the lie of the first chorus representing her flimsy bearding narratives, then she could mean that she never grew up into being openly queer. Since she began writing songs, Taylor has always written her songs with the knowledge that one day they could be publicly heard. Even unreleased songs that are very queer-coded like "Welcome Distraction" still have he/him pronouns, just like the ones she writes to this day. Songs that don't have romantic he/him pronouns or are about a girl have always had plausible deniability, such as "Angelina" or "Question...?". Even if it's just a bit of that plausible deniability, heteronormativity makes it really easy to hide when you do it as well as Taylor does.

The mention of braids calls back to "Seven", a song in-part about childhood. Tendrils can be a part of a plant, which reminds me of "Please picture me in the weeds // Before I learned civility", which could be interpreted as Taylor being more wildly queer in some way when she was young before learning how to act straighter for her own good. Tendrils can also be stray pieces of hair, or metaphorically queerness, that was hidden in a straight, rigid braid. I also think this has to do with "Peter", a song I believe to be about Taylor apologizing to her inner queer child for taking so long to come out; when Taylor began hiding her queerness in her music, I'm sure she thought it would just be till the world was ready to hear her truth some years down the line. And if the song "Change" is anything to go off of, she might've been optimistic that that was soon. "I thought it was just goodbye for now // You said you were gonna grow up // Then you were gonna come find me". But here we are over 20 years after she began writing songs and she's still writing in the same closeted way, for now. The southern drawl (if that's the phrase I'm looking for), or her choice to use words cut short like "Runnin'", "'bout", and "ain't" during this song's most tense moments make this feel like her younger, pre-pop self-speaking up finally.

(As a bit of an extra tidbit, these lines really remind me of lyrics from "Welcome Distraction" that I think are meant to be, "A life and a plan and I wasn't gonna stray // Swore I’d never let a man in my way", but I get different results when I look up the lyrics due to its unreleased status. Younger and current Taylor possibly singing similar lines really expands on the never-growing-up aspect of this reading.)

"He was chaos, he was revelry // Bedroom eyes like a remedy // Soon enough, the elders had convened // Down at the city hall // 'Stay away from her' // The saboteurs // Protested too much // Lord knows the words // We never heard // Just screeching tires and true love."

The "he" being in actuality a "she" is the reading that makes the most sense for this song overall. With all the religious imagery in the song, religious elders would not object in this particular way so hard against a guy and a girl wanting to be together. It makes the most sense when Taylor's lover is thought of as another woman. If the lover is a woman, she would definitely represent chaos for Taylor, not necessarily because of her personality but through the way Taylor wants her and the trouble that want could cause. The lover was not a part of the plans laid. But the lover is also the celebratory feeling of being in love, and the celebratory feeling of pride you get from being queer once you've found someone who you can be yourself around and be proud of yourself with. Revelry.

If we think of the "elders" being the SBs specifically, than them meeting each other at the "city hall" could be them coming together to steal Taylor's masters, which recked her plans to come out the same day the news broke out.

Since I'm personally a late-stage Kaylor, I see the saboteurs saying "stay away from her" as the perpetrators and believers in the Kaylor feud, spreading the never-confirmed rumor that Karlie betrayed Taylor as if it's fact and being overprotective of Taylor by demanding Karlie stay away from Taylor since she's a "trader".

Alternatively, the saboteurs could be telling Taylor to stay away from Karlie, as even though there have been other rumored relationships with women Taylor has had, Karlie has always been the strongest suspect and the most well-known since Taylor was never really able to keep the straight facade up as well as usual around Karlie (i.e. Kissgate). I doubt this reading of the line a bit more purely because the lover has been constantly dubbed "him" through the song and it'd be odd to switch up here, but I thought it was worth mentioning. I'll move on with the former interpretation for this reading.

"Protested too much" is a reference to Hamlet by William Shakespeare. In the context of the play, Queen Gertrude says this as a reaction to Hamlet's play trying to weasel guilt out of her and mainly her new husband for marrying so soon after the original King's murder. When the queen in the play says she'll never remarry after her husband dies, Gertrude tells Hamlet, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks", meaning she thinks the queen in the play is putting on a front that shouldn't be believed. If Taylor believes the saboteurs are "protest(ing) too much" it could mean that she believes that they aren't being honest about their stance against the lover. That their hatred for them and calls for them to go away would falter if time were to prove their stance wrong. In "Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus", Taylor says "If you wanna tear my world apart // Just say you've always wondered", which I take as Taylor knowing that when she comes out, despite the strong rejection of her planting seeds to her truth right now, people will say that they had always suspected that she was queer once they feel socially safe to do so post coming out. If the lover in this song is Karlie, then it's not hard to imagine the saboteurs suddenly backtracking their hate in order to praise Kaylor and Karlie after Kaylor becomes publicly cordial again.

With "Lord knows the words // We never heard/ // Just screeching tires and true love" Taylor and her lover ignore the saboteurs's hatred and carry on with their love. Or they ignore the hypocritical words of "praise" for their relationship that'll come when they come out. I'm more inclined to believe the former due to the mention of "screeching tires", a car reference. I mentioned in my "Champagne Problems" analysis that vehicles often represent the closet/running away from the public for Taylor, so if she and the lover are enjoying "screeching tires and true love", they're making the best of their closet as they run away from the rest of the world for the time being, like how they do in "Paris".

"I'll tell you something right now // I'd rather burn my whole life down // Than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin'. // I'll tell you something 'bout my good name // It's mine alone to disgrace // I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing"

I believe Taylor is gearing up to come out, reveal at least aspects of her reality, and expose the harm the industry has done to her and maybe even others. This line syncs up perfectly with the "Burning Lover House" theory, with Taylor eliminating all the red herrings of her past albums and telling her truth. If Taylor's career and good name goes down the toilet due to her being herself, it'll be her doing and she wants to be in that much control of herself. The "vipers dressed in empath's clothing" are the fans who harass and harm people like Karlie all in the name of defending and "empathizing" with Taylor, even though Taylor has never okayed that behavior and has spoken against it. The vipers pretend to empathize with the situations they think Taylor's been in and her music, but their behavior shows they don't truly see eye-to-eye with her and what she stands for. She's done catering to them.

"God save the most judgmental creeps // Who say they want what's best for me // Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see // Thinkin' it can change the beat // Of my heart when he touches me // And counteract the chemistry // And undo the destiny // You ain't gotta pray for me // Me and my wild boy and all of this wild joy // If all you want is gray for me // Then it's just white noise, and it's just my choice."

Taylor calls out the "judgmental creeps" who hurt people in the name of her. Her asking God to save the "judgmental creeps" could be sarcasm, but I also know Taylor's a Christian (and maybe catholic. I know she grew up catholic), and as a queer Christian, I know that I tend to fully see homophobia as practically an illness, like how homophobes view queerness as an illness, and hope homophobes find it in their heart to overcome those ailments. I wouldn't be surprised if Taylor felt the same way.

The creeps "Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies" that Taylor will "never see". Doing something sanctimoniously is doing something in a performative way, calling back to the saboteurs protesting too much, being hateful only because it's so normalized in the community, and who are likely going to do a 180 once their hate is no longer in style for the times. If Taylor will never see these soliloquies then she could be saying that she'll never give them the time of day, the "words we never heard" from earlier. A soliloquy is a speech that's said when alone without listeners (they're also famously associated with Hamlet so that ties back to "protested too much"), so these creeps are essentially arguing with the wall, as Taylor turns a blind eye to them no matter how much the soliloquies are made to empathize with her or impress her because they do none of those things.

The creeps think their hateful soliloquies will change Taylor's truth. They think if they pretend Karlie doesn't or never existed in Taylor's life in any way and harass Karlie, then it'll change the reality that they secretly or unconsciously know is true, but it won't. The saboteurs and Taylor's closet-ers can't change who she is and what she has with her lover. If the Sarahs and Hannahs only want the straight, beard-narcotic-giving, grey Taylor Swift™, then their pearl-clutching just becomes white noise to Taylor, and it's her choice to be in screaming color, dazzling in the daylight.

"There's a lot of people in town that I // Bestow upon my fakest smiles // Scandal does funny things to pride, but brings lovers closer."

In my "I Look In People's Windows" analysis, I viewed the "town" as a metaphor for her tour locations and fanbase. Since she's of course performing on tour, Taylor's happiness could definitely be faked if she had to make it. She can do it with a broken heart and her fans wouldn't even notice. The amount of people inside the stadiums when she tours is massive, so it really is a lot. And if her beard is at the stadium, or "in town", she can give them all the fake winks and nods she needs to keep up appearances as the time to come out approaches. "Scandal does funny things to pride" has a double meaning. Scandal can take a shot at your ego or sense of pride. But queer scandal can also make you want/have to hide your urge to be openly queer and proud, as older queer celebs like Rock Hudson had to completely deny their queerness if rumors got out of control for their own safety. Still, scandal, or hardships, can bring lovers closer as they persevere through it.

"We came back when the heat died down // Went to my parents and they came around // All the wine moms are still holdin' out, but fuck 'em, it's over."

I like to see this and the incoming chorus as Taylor predicting the wake of the coming out. She'll burn it down, things in "town" or the fandom will be chaos, and then she and Karlie will return/publicly reunite in the afterglow of it all once the fandom's shock wanes. The narrative of this song is that Taylor and her lover ran away, disobeying Taylor's father figure rather than begging him, but when they return her family accepts everything. Taylor is still seen as at most a "PG-13" artist, accessible to children, so their parents, the wine moms, could still be upset once the heat dies down, wanting Taylor to be a sanitized image for their kids to look up to and still pearl clutching at her queerness. But fuck 'em, the pain of the closet is far behind her and her lover now. It's over.

"Now I'm dancin' in my dress in the sun and // Even my daddy just loves him // I'm his lady // And, oh my God, you should see your faces."

The lie is now gone, as Taylor gets to be joyous with her lover in the daylight, out of the shade, with her Dad accepting. She's possibly surprised by that, with the use of "even". She still mocks the creeps's outrage and shock.

"Time, doesn't it give some perspective? // And, no, you can't come to the wedding // I know it's crazy, but he's the one I want."

As mentioned before, the vipers suddenly backtracked their hate, as time proved their actions wrong, but no matter how much they might kiss up now, Taylor for the rest of the song continues to mock them with the post-chorus and outro. Especially with "Tayvis", her fans have been invited to vicariously and happily experience her "relationships" through her, despite her constant singing of private relationships and disapprovers. But the majority of her fans are not invited to her real relationship, the one she truly keeps private. No, they can't come to the wedding.

I like how "he's crazy" changes to "it's crazy". Taylor knows that the post-coming-out situation will be crazy, especially if she plans to expose an awful, buried side of the industry in some mass coming out with others as some theorize. But she wants her lover and the things that come with the freedom.

Thanks for reading!

[doumadono]

For sinful Sunday : can we please get a possessive! Muzan 🫣🫣

A/N: It's quite unanimous that Muzan's possessiveness knows no bounds! Just envision the sheer fury that engulfs him when you dare to disobey or display a hint of brattiness 😩

SINFUL SUNDAY

Muzan closed the distance between you with just a few brisk strides. His long fingers wrapped around your throat swiftly, pressing you firmly against the wall. His crimson eyes were wide, scanning you intensely, and his breaths were heavy.

His lips slotted against yours harshly. The kisses rough and desperate, leaving you breathless. His fingers tightened around your throat, and when he finally pulled back, you gasped for air, your chest heaving.

You were well aware that Muzan was upset - he always was when someone was playing with you, as you were his favorite plaything. He had a possessive streak and often expressed his displeasure at "having his toys taken away."

His hands slid beneath the hems of your dress, his hungry fingers finding their way to your panties and tugging them down your legs until they slipped down to your ankles. With haste and a sense of urgency, Muzan unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, his movements a bit sloppy as he fumbled with the belt in one hand. Despite his furious demeanor, he had no intention of releasing his grip on your throat.

“Please don’t be mad, please, Muzan-sama, I really didn't mean to be all flirty with Douma and…”

“Tsch!” He clicked his tonuge, “Shut up.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, a reaction you knew Muzan found arousing. He grasped your hip with his free hand and plunged himself into you. Although the situation wasn't ideal – pinned against the wall in a corridor leading to the resort's ballroom, the risk of being discovered was significant – you couldn't care less. It had been so long since you'd felt the full, thick length of Muzan inside you that you couldn't care less. “Muzan! Ah!” You gasped as his grip got tighter.

His forehead rested against yours.

You closed your eyes tight, squeezing a few stray tears down your cheeks.

“No, no, open your fucking eyes," Muzan ordered, churning his hips upward into you. “You’re gonna look at me when I'm fucking that pretty, tight cunt of yours."

You opened your eyes and met with his intense gaze. He frightened you as much as he aroused you.

His voice seethed with anger and desire as he continued to thrust into you. "You think you're tough or something? Being all flirty around those fucking bastards I regretfully call my employees? Huh?" Muzan's question was punctuated by a lascivious lick of his lips.

“N-no!” You trembled as he thrust into you again harshly. "I was just… Being… Polite!"

His hips moved with increasing urgency, the rhythm of his thrusts becoming more frantic. The feeling of his cock sliding against your walls sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body, and you couldn't help but respond with moans and sobs, your lips locked in a passionate kiss with his. Muzan's desire and desperation were palpable as he claimed you.

"I’m so sorry, I’ll be good I swear.” You felt your cunt flutter with another upward jolt of his hips.

Muzan's strength was on full display as he effortlessly lifted you and wrapped your legs around his hips. His thrusts became even more primal, a raw and urgent rhythm that left you gasping for breath. He was relentless in his pursuit of reminding you of your place, his kisses growing sloppier and his breathing heavier with each passing moment. His grunts and growls filled the air as he pounded into you, his balls slapping against your exposed cunt. Muzan spoke through gritted teeth, pressing his face to your ear, “You’re not going to do act like a cheap whore ever fucking again, understood?" Muzan was loud when he came, filling the hallway with his breathy moans and shuddered whimpers. His body trembled with every pulse of his cock, pumping you full with his thick spend.

The intensity of your orgasm left you gasping for breath, your body shuddering in waves of pleasure.

As Muzan reached his climax, his moans gave way to deep, heavy breaths. Afterward, he stepped back, releasing his grip on you. However, the lingering sensation of phantom fingers around your throat persisted.

Muzan took a moment to help you pull your panties back up before swiftly arranging his own clothing, securing his pants with his leather belt. He then cupped your cheeks tightly in his hands, staring intensely into your eyes. His lips were pressed into a tight line. “You gotta stop this shit, or I’m going to be very dissapointed, you understand? You belong to me."

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Sins

Regulus Black AU

Request:  i dnt rlly have a fleshed-out idea on this nasty request but what abt a smut fic on regulus but he's a priest. ik its insane but i thought of regulus black/paul atreides wearing the clerical collar thing and oh my god he looks so hot

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: Mature- smut, religious smut fic

AO3 Link

A/n: I left his open where I could possibly write future parts if there is any interest. 

_____

Everything that Regulus ever did was for a reason…at least that was what he told himself. Growing up as the second son in a home where he was obviously unwanted had led Regulus into thinking that nothing happened by chance. Everything was planned. Everything happened for a reason. Sometimes the reasons weren’t always 100% clear but a reason was, nonetheless, there.

That was what led Regulus to become a priest. It seemed completely illogical at first but after a few years, Regulus felt as if he had made the best choice for himself. He no longer dealt with his horrible parents. For once, he was part of something good. Regulus also, for the first time, felt as though he belonged.

It didn’t take long to get used to the “lifestyle.” In no time at all Regulus fit into the priesthood perfectly. He enjoyed the rigid schedule, the church's various affairs, and the need to feel wanted. Sometimes the feeling “wanted” part involved listening to people’s rather concerning sins they committed or lonely elderly widows who cared too much about their herd of cats. Regulus learned to push his once sarcastic and easily annoyed ways aside and learned to have more empathy for the poor widows. Sometimes as simple as “there there” was all the poor women needed.

All of that changed one Sunday during the month of May. It was a typical Sunday mass. A typical Sunday where Regulus sat listening to his superior read the day’s message. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary as Regulus’ eyes scanned the congregation before him. Regulus had quickly learned who were regulars and who only turned up when they had done something and were in need of God’s forgiveness. For the most part, everyone seemed to be there…and then Regulus’ eyes landed on…you. The new face…The face that had been plaguing Regulus’ dreams for the past 2 weeks…the face that Regulus envisioned running his hands over before kissing the plump lips that had begged for his attention…the fact that he could throw away everything for.

Regulus quickly looked down at his lap before muttering a quick prayer for forgiveness. Human or not, he wasn’t supposed to look at a woman like this. He wasn’t supposed to think of a woman like this. Regulus had pledged his life for something greater. Now here he was acting like even more of a sinner than someone who slept with multiple women a week.

This isn’t supposed to happen. I’m not supposed to be lusting after a woman.

Regulus swallowed his thoughts before bravely looking up at you again.

Father, she is beautiful.

Regulus once again quickly chastised himself for that thought. While he was free to admire his father’s creations that didn’t mean he was supposed to be thinking about having you beneath him.

Until you turned up 2 weeks before, Regulus had always assumed that he was asexual. He had never had much of an interest in sex. In fact, it seemed repulsive to Regulus…then you showed up. You showed up with your parents in a soft light blue dress and bashed the sexual desire right into him.

You had come to visit your parents for a few weeks, from what Regulus had gathered. Your parents were what Regulus considered “A+ Catholics.” They were the type that showed up from whatever even the church had. Both husband and wife were kind, thoughtful, “normal” people. You were the daughter that moved to the US to become a ballerina. Now here you are causing Regulus internal chaos.

All of that led to Regulus’ current predicament…he stood hidden in the shadows watching you. You had come to drop off a box of clothing donations at your mother’s request and Regulus was the guy that had to talk to you.

Over the years, Regulus had learned to put his shy nature to the side and talk to people without much difficulty. That wasn’t the case today, however. Today, Regulus had no idea how to talk, how to think, or what to do. He knew that he would have to face you eventually but for the moment he was fine being in the shadows.

“How am I supposed to talk to the girl that is making me wake up with a raging hard-on? How am I supposed to not focus on her lips, her breasts, her hips…anything… Father, forgive me.”

Regulus silently thought before telling himself to get a grip. You were just a woman and soon enough you would probably be back on your way home. Regulus could forget these feelings…until the next visit. Hopefully, by then, Regulus could have better control of his mind.

Taking a breath, Regulus pushed himself out of the shadows and moved to where you stood.

“You must be Y/n.”

Regulus said in a smooth soft tone. You turned to face him with a kind smile.

“Yes, my mother asked me to drop these things off…father….”

“Black…my name is Regulus Black.”

You again gave him a smile. The young priest before you was definitely pleasing to look at. Pleasing wasn’t even a good enough word. He was downright breathtaking! You swallowed looking him over in hopes that he didn't catch you doing so. Everything about him was perfectly polished…from his perfect curls to his without a wrinkle uniform down to his perfect hands…

Fuck, he is too pretty to be a priest.

You didn’t take back that thought. This man could get any woman that he wanted yet here he was in a position where he couldn't actually do anything…damn shame. You should have been embarrassed or felt bad about these rather unholy thoughts but you weren't.

“Pleasure.”

You replied, keeping your eyes on his. Regulus was quiet a moment as he tried to think of something to say. Staring at your lips or your perfect legs wasn’t going to be helping him any.

“Is your grandmother well? Your mother had mentioned that she was off-color last week.”

Regulus asked. Asking about your grandmother seemed to be the safe option.

“She is feeling much better. Apparently it was a bit of a cold. Mother called me acting as if she was on death’s doorstep and ordered me to come home. Grandmother tends to do this a few times a year. I think she looks for a reason to get everyone in the house.”

A small smile played on Regulus’ lips.

“Your grandmother is amusing. So where are you visiting from again?”

“Las Vegas.”

You replied. Regulus nodded.

“That’s right. Your mother says that you are a ballerina.”

You slightly chuckled at that one. Your mother wished that you were a ballerina.

“Not exactly. That’s what my mother wants me to be. That was what got me to America but I didn’t stick with it. I’m a showgirl.”

Sweet merciful crap!

That was the only thought that Regulus could get through his mind. He couldn't even get a word out. You were a showgirl…probably half-naked at any given time…All Regulus could envision was you dressed in a skimpy bodysuit and high heels.

Father, help me.

“I perform in a casino on the strip. I’m not an exotic dancer or anything. I’m my mother’s disappointment.”

You replied as a soft blush came over your cheeks. Regulus quickly forced himself to start talking.

“No judgment, whatsoever…I’m my mother’s disappointment also so I understand.”

You seemed genuinely surprised with his reaction and Regulus had to congratulate himself on now totally blowing it.

“You’re the first that hasn’t said something judgmental about it. My parents are totally embarrassed.”

“Sometimes parents, even meaning well, don’t have all of the right answers or solutions.”

Regulus said, softly. You brushed a strand of hair from your face sending your sweet scent right in Regulus’ direction. It only took one breath for him to be love drunk from your scent alone.

“You are definitely right about that one.”

20 minutes later, the two of you were still quietly talking. Had the situation been different and he was actually “available” you had the feeling that you would have had the offer of a date…which you would have accepted. You liked Regulus already. Everything about him seemed “perfect.” It wasn’t only his looks but his soft voice and kind demeanor. He was shy…shy and decent.

A decent guy wasn’t something that you came across often. You were used to the kind of guy that made lewd comments to you on your body. Regulus, even though he was looking, didn't go that far. You knew a lot of his was probably because of what he was. He probably had no interest whatsoever. You were just the daughter of a member of the church.

And then it happened…neither Regulus nor yourself was sure who initiated it but the two of you were kissing. This kiss was different from any other kiss that you had shared with someone else. This kiss felt...forbidden, wrong, yet so right at the same time. You sighed as Regulus slowly slipped his tongue into your mouth.

Where did a priest learn to kiss like this?

You thought, savoring the moment until Regulus snapped back into reality and stepped away.

His face instantly went scarlet. Regulus was in an internal panic for a moment. He kissed you! He kissed you as a man was supposed to kiss his wife. Regulus kissed you and he was NEVER supposed to do that.

“I am so sorry…I don’t know what came over me.”

Regulus stammered. He wondered, for a moment, if he were dreaming. Would this be just another dream where you vanished not long after the kiss and he woke up aching?

When you didn’t vanish and he didn't wake up, Regulus knew that he was awake and he had, in fact, kissed you.

“I am in trouble.”

He thought before your soft voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“It's okay…I mean, I’m not complaining. I’m only curious where you learned to kiss like that?”

Regulus shifted uncomfortable a few times before speaking again.

“I had kissed a few girls before I became a priest. Apparently I haven’t forgotten that skill. We shouldn’t be doing this.”

Regulus said. You watched him with a small smile. Your eyes were gently fluttering between his face down to the obviously noticeable hard on in his black pants.

“You don’t seem to want to stop.”

You commented. Regulus closed his eyes before speaking.

“No, I don’t want to but I have a job…a promise I made…I have a purpose.”

Regulus was relived when you didn’t torture him any further. In fact, you seemed almost too understanding.

“As you, father. This has been interesting.”

You replied before moving to leave but was stopped the moment Regulus spun you around and pushed you against the wall. Soft hands locked around your wrists as he raised them above your head.

“Don’t go. You have been teasing me for the past two weeks. Don’t you realize how hard it is to say no?”

Regulus murmured against her lips. He had gone back in for a kiss but decided to savor the moment. From your sweet scent to feeling your body pressed against his, Regulus wanted to make this moment last as long as he possibly could.

“You don’t have to say no. I know you aren’t supposed to do this but what’s one little mess up? We all make them…priest or man on the street…everyone sins.”

You replied, watching the frown on Regulus’ face. He didn’t reply for a moment before standing back up straight. Glancing over his shoulder, Regulus made sure that no one was watching the two of you. He was thankful there was no one but knew that this needed to be taken someplace more “secluded.”

“Come with me.”

Regulus ordered before wrapping his hand around your wrist. He guided you to a quiet office off of the church sanctuary and locked the door as soon as you were inside. Once satisfied that the two of you were indeed alone, Regulus pulled your body back against his.

“You’re right, everyone messes up but I’m not supposed to mess up like this.”

You slipped your hand down to wrap back around his and pulled it up to your clothed breast. Regulus didn’t move at first but after you cleared your throat his hand tightened.

“Something tells me that you want this sin, Father.”

You commented, in a seductive tone. Regulus chuckled before continuing to grope your breast through your dress.

“I suppose that I do.”

He replied, giving you the initiative to continue. You stood on your tiptoes to press a soft kiss to his lips. Kissing your way down his jawline to his neck, you stopped at the collar of his shirt.

“Shall we stop and forget this never happened?”

You asked. Regulus frantically shook his head.

“Don’t stop.”

He whimpered. You stroked one hand down his chest. Stopping at his belt buckle, your eyes rolled back to his, as if asking permission.

“Keep going.”

Regulus ordered, wondering where this sudden surge of bravery came from. Your hand went back to his shirt and gently undid each button. Regulus shrugged his shirt off as your arms wrapped around his neck. He closed his eyes and savored each kiss that you peppered down his chest.

Is this how a woman is supposed to really make a man feel? Is this really so forbidden?

Regulus thought. He could definitely get used to this. The feeling of your hot lips on his skin was indescribable. This was the best feeling that Regulus had ever had…physical attention…this was heaven!

Regulus’ eyes snapped open the moment that you stopped touching him. His mouth dropped when he realized that you were on your knees before him. Your eyes were locked on his face as you moved to cup his erection. When Regulus’ body pulsed under your touch, you couldn’t help the little smirk that formed on your face. It hadn’t taken long at all for your own desire to come roaring back. You sighed feeling the lewd thoughts come right back to your mind.

Damn, he feels huge!

It had been so long since you had actually slept with someone. You were as desperate as Regulus appeared to be for some physical affection. The wetness was starting to slip from your pussy and down your thighs

Regulus quickly reached down and unbuckled his belt. You weren’t moving fast enough for his growing desperation.

“Don’t stop.”

He said, softly. Regulus moved to kick his pants off leaving the only layer of clothing preventing you from getting your hot lips on him was his thin boxers. You didn’t wait a moment longer before pulling the hem of his boxers down and his cock sprang free.

He is huge!

You thought looking at the size of Regulus’ cock. Regulus groaned when you wrapped a hand around his shaft.

“I’ll make you feel good.”

You said in a lust-filled tone before wrapping your mouth around his cock. Regulus’ head fell backward as your tongue drifted over the head and down to the vein on the underside. What you were doing with that sweet yet sinful tongue of yours was enough to make him moan.

You wanted to take more of Regulus into your mouth but were stopped when Regulus reached down and gently pulled you back to your feet.

"Lust is one of the cardinal sins, and now you've made me lust for you. I have wanted you from the moment that you first stepped foot into this church. Now I’m taking what I want…and I don’t care what anyone says. Take your dress off, love.”

You didn’t have to be told twice. Regulus kept his eyes on you as you gently slid your pale pink dress off. The lust once again started flowing through him as the swells of your breasts came to light followed by your bare pussy.

She’s not wearing any knickers!

Regulus’ mouth dropped at that thought. Your bare pussy was one of the most beautiful sights that the young man had ever seen. Forget the immaculate cathedrals and Vatican City…nope, it was your naked body!

“May I touch you?”

Regulus asked. Forget the fact that you had just given him a blow job, he wanted to make damn sure that you wanted him before he even thought of touching you.

“You may.”

You replied, waiting only a moment before Regulus quickly stepped forward. His right hand reached up to cup your breast. His long fingers teased and tweaked your nipples before going back to greedily cupping the whole thing. You sighed enjoying each teasing motion until Regulus picked you up and placed you on the table to your left.

Regulus swallowed before going back in for another small kiss then moved down to your breast. Never in a million years did Regulus ever think that he would be sucking on a woman’s breasts IN THE CHURCH of all places yet here he was. His tongue traced over each dusty bud before gently nibbling. Your body jumped slightly as Regulus went back to suckling.

You had become aware of Regulus’ cock nudging your clit with each of his movements.

“Are you thinking of what you want me to do to you?”

Regulus asked, looking up from his place. Where his sudden surge of bravery and bedroom wisdom came from, he did not know but he was thankful for it.

You nodded, feeling the heat spread through your body. The thought of Regulus’ long, thick cock filling you up with no mercy made you ache even more. He would indeed stretch you and you longed for it. You longed for his cock stretching your tight cunt until you were made just for him. Every sinful thought made you wetter and wetter, and the warm ache was becoming insatiable.

"Do you want me to touch you?"

Regulus asked, his voice deepening.

“Yes, Father.”

You cooed, making Regulus tremble. He chuckled before running a single finger down your wet slit. Regulus swallowed as he watched your juices seep from your body. He gently spread your legs, biting his lip, as your soaking fold spread. Your clit was glistening in the warm lights of the room.

“You’re so wet. All of this from a little making out and a blow job?”

You could only nod a moment before recovering.

“Looking at you caused this too. You’re so handsome…and that body…enough to make me a whore in church.”

Regulus chuckled.

“I suppose that we have something in common”

Regulus moved to kneel between your legs. His gray eyes were now hyper-focused on your wet cunt.

“I want you to kiss me there.”

You said, hoping it sounded more like an order. Something told you that this was Regulus’ first time. As much as you wanted to be in control, you decided to let him call the shots. He deserved a good memory to think back on in the coming days. Regulus licked his lips before moving forward. He placed his tongue on your opening and licked teasingly up to your clit. You gasped under him wanting to buck your hips.

Regulus, meanwhile, was savoring the taste of your juices on his tongue. Moving to suck your clip into his mouth, Regulus slowly pushed two fingers inside. He didn’t want to but his mind went back to the porn that he had watched as a teen. Shamefully, he didn't find it at all appealing then but now…he tried to remember the moves the men in the film used on the women.

When you cried out and your ships bucked upward, Regulus knew that he was doing something right. It only took a few more licks and you were spamming. Your tight pussy clenched around his fingers. You cried out as an orgasm began to rip its way through you. Regulus quickly pulled out his fingers and replaced them with his tongue. He lapped up your juices as if he were a dying man that had found an oasis in a desert. Your pussy wouldn't stop convulsing as he lavished your body with more and more attention.

Moving to his feet, Regulus looked down at you with lust-filled gray eyes. His pupils were blown as he took his cock in one hand and rubbed it over your clit. You gave him a nod before spreading your legs wider.

“Please fuck me.”

Regulus waited a moment before gently shoving his entire cock inside in one thrust. The both of you moaned together at the delicious stretch and burn caused by his cock splitting you open. Regulus started to thrust inside, faster than before, making your breasts bounce each time. The sound of skin slapping together filled the room as Regulus moved to once again hold your hands over your head.

The two of you moaned and whispered little reassurances of just how good this felt. Each movement of his cock made your core ache.

“I’m close.”

Regulus moaned against your mouth. He knew that he wouldn’t last long. Never having sex before made him realize that he had no control over his orgasm. He would come inside of you a lot faster than he wanted to.

“Come, I need to come too.”

You gasped as Regulus’ thrusts began to get sloppy. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath as your orgasm tore through you. Your cunt began to spam around Regulus’ cock pushing him over the edge. His cock jerked before spurting rope after rope of thick cum deep into your pussy.

Neither of you moved for a moment. You were the first to make a move. Reaching up, you pulled Regulus back down for a lazy kiss. He smiled against your mouth, enjoying the feeling of his half-hard cock still being lodged in your body.

“That was amazing.”

You whispered. Regulus moved to say something but stopped suddenly when he heard someone calling his name. The two of you froze for a moment before quickly dressing. Regulus turned his attention back to you.

“Take the second door and take a right, that will get you out of here without anyone noticing.”

You nodded before quickly putting your shoes back on. Turning your attention back to Regulus, you stroked a finger down the bridge of his nose as the door handle began to turn.

“Thank you, Father.”

You whispered before rushing out of the room.

The next morning, you walked back into the church. You were hoping for another repeat of the previous day's events. Maybe this time, it could end with a little more cuddling and a lot less hurrying out.

Regulus looked up when you stepped into the sanctuary where he was quietly getting this ready for the next service. When he didn’t smile or let any emotion come across his face, your heart began to pound. Something about the look on his face made your heart pound.

“Y/n.”

He greeted you with a formal tone. It wasn’t the tone of the man that you had made love with the day before.

“Regulus…It's good to see you…I was wondering if you would…”

Regulus held a hand up.

“Yesterday shouldn’t have happened. It was a mistake and I should have never given into that temptation.”

Regulus felt instantly guilty at the stunned expression on your face. He never wanted to hurt you but he felt as if he had to.

“You seemed to feel differently yesterday.”

You replied, feeling a surge of annoyance come through you.

“Yesterday I was tempted and gave into a sin that I promised to never commit. I’m sorry, Y/n but I have worked too hard to throw everything away for a showgirl. You must understand that I am a priest not some boy toy for you. Perhaps you should…”

You held a hand up.

“You’ve made your feelings clear.”

“Y/n…”

You didn’t wait to give Regulus a second to talk before turning and walking from the church without another word. Maybe you were foolish for hoping that something would come from this. You were foolish for thinking that maybe Regulus would be more than just a priest…maybe it could have been love? Would you ask Regulus to give everything up based on one day of passion-filled romance? No, but what if it could work out?

Not now….

You thought before disappearing down a busy street and out of sight.

______

@amelie-black @justfinishthis @jessyballet @knreidy1 @georgeweasleydumbhoe @criminalyetminimal @jsjcue @ell0ra-br3kk3r @livshifts @mimisparkle12 @teletubiswszpilkach @golddustwomann @siriuslyceleste @bxcndd @stelleduarte @millies0bsimp @coffeeaddictednymph @readtomeregulus @rogue-nyx88 @i-love-scott-mccall @s-we-e-t-t-ea @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @f4iryluvy @buttercup-beeee @panpride @saramaple @missgorldafirst @gugggu6gvai @jag9000 @quinis @haroldpotterson @yousmellllikecaca @mentally-unstable-hoe @goldensunshineshit @aurorasnape12 @ad-astra-again @padf00ts-l0ver @rubyroscoe1 @lucasfilms77 @spideyxalmighty @dumybitch @ravenhood2792 @play-morezeppelin @melaninnbarbie @marichromatic @lostarc24 @un-lovesherself @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @moldy-old-boot @hankypranky @summer-novak @emiwrites3reads @shaylybaby2032 @li0nh34rt @tas898 @untoldshortsofthefandoms @deanwherescas @shitfaceddaniel-blog @sprnaturallover @wontlookaway @mycuddlycorner

[teriteriteriteriteri]

random thoughts on penacony because it instantaneously became on of my favorite quests in anything ever:

Love that Sunday's character is set up to tackle one of the most central questions in all philosophy: why do people fight for their servitude? His answer? Because they are weak. In act 1 and 2 of his opera video essay to try to convince us of his views, we see people who are liberated physically and materially, but still enslaved mentally. Sunday's ideal paradise then envisions a world where you ARE imprisoned, but you believe wholeheartedly in your freedom. So freedom is good, but those who gain freedom tend to run back to their chains. It is both the weak and the strong that perpetuate the cycle. What's interesting is that Sunday does not believe an all perfect god can solve this issue either. A true benevolent god is concealed, self sacrificing, and is fundamentally human.

Will try to sum up some of his core tenets later, and try to pinpoint where it falls apart.

Lots of parallels with Kevin, of all people. His god complex is nothing like Otto, who is fundamentally selfish.

They really distilled all the interesting things about religion (read: paradise, need for the world to adhere to human logic and whim) and put it inside of an unsettling young priest.

Love Sunday's dramatic reenactment of his philosophy. The reality tv show moral dilemma, the dramatic philosophical reenactment of Penacony's history. The final fight taking place in the grand theatre. The fact that for him this is a philosophical war, he wants to win people over by proving he's right, and he has thoroughly broken down and put together his entire thought process in hopes of it being foolproof. EASILY my favorite villain.

I feel like getting at least a CG or something of the siblings' planet getting nuked would have given Sunday's arc the final push it needed to fully shine. You can only get to those levels of deranged only when witnessing insurmountable terrors, and for us to truly understand, I feel like we needed to be shown it, as opposed to merely being told what happened.

The bookend with Acheron's questions is just, absolutely perfect. We begin with questions and by the end of the quest we emerge with resolute answers. I LOVE it.

Acheron serving as a foil for the entirety of Penacony's themes.

I need to replay it so badly, but its way to fucking long. I will reread the whole thing when it gets transcribed in the wiki or something. more thoughts WILL be had.

[ms-m-astrologer]

The Week Ahead: December 4-10, 2023

Lunar Phases

Tuesday, December 5, 05:49 UT - Last Quarter Moon, 12°49’ Virgo

The key phrases for the Last Quarter lunar phase are “turn away” from what we’ve been doing, and “tear down old structures that no longer serve us well.” We might want to look at our daily routines and habit patterns, for what ought to be jettisoned.

Saturday, December 9, 07:16 UT - Balsamic Moon, 1°56’ Scorpio

The key phrases for the Balsamic lunar phase are “let go of the past” and “envision the future.” The way a snake sheds it skin - shuck off that outgrown past.

Void of Course Moon

Monday, December 4, 02:11 UT (Leo) - 03:50 UT (Virgo)

Wednesday, December 6, 13:50 UT (Virgo) - 15:35 UT (Libra)

Saturday, December 9, 01:05 UT (Libra) - 03:35 UT (Scorpio)

Retrograde/Direct/Etc.

Pre-retrograde shadow: Mercury/Capricorn, Juno/Virgo

Retrograde: Vesta/Cancer, Jupiter/Taurus, Chiron/Aries, Uranus/Taurus, Neptune/Pisces (until Wednesday the 6th), Eris/Aries

Post-retrograde shadow: Saturn/Pisces

Transiting Mercury has its “greatest eastern elongation” on Monday the 4th, 19:34 UT, at 3°32’ Capricorn. A similar feel to the Last Quarter lunar phase - some old thought pattern or habit needs to go.

Transiting Neptune stations direct Wednesday the 6th, 13:20 UT, at 24°53’ Pisces. We are now a little clearer about our true vision.

Transiting Mercury enters its Storm on Saturday the 9th. This acts like the retrograde - even though Mercury is technically still moving forward. Expect some of the typical Merc Rx shenanigans to crop up.

Ingress

Monday, December 4, 18:51 UT - transiting Venus enters Scorpio

Venus moving through this sign wants truth and honesty above all things. Charm and good manners don’t cut it, any more - we want something deeper.

Et Cetera

There are two Opportunity Periods this week:

Wednesday, December 6, 06:17 UT - 13:50 UT. “Use this time for high productivity.”

Sunday, December 10, 17:03 UT - Monday, December 11, 08:57 UT. “This OP during the Balsamic Moon should be used for clearing up emotions and deep thinking.”

The Moon is waning, and Mercury is on the verge of a retrograde station. This makes it a good week for us to rest up, if we can. As the calendar year draws to its close, and as we near the Capricorn Solstice, we’re probably in a more reflective mood, anyway. It isn’t a good time to start anything - we need to wait for the Cap Solstice at the earliest, for that - and if you want Mercury to be direct, you’ll have to wait for the Capricorn New Moon on January 11.

[puppypawprintce]

1740 words - gen

2/?

snily friendship, nightmares, severus loving potions class, angst

cw: self loathing

ao3 link if you'd prefer ♡

One, two, three, four - four ounces of Moondew, the herbal green fluid joining its brethren of finely pulverized Unicorn Horn, Syrup of Hellebore, and Stewed Mandrake. The greenish blue substance simmers in the cauldron. Severus couldn't be more focused if he tried, his careful hand stirs its contents while slowly adding in 12 ounces of Honeywater. It beginning to shift to a much warmer shade of amber. The sweat beads by his brow and the steam emanating makes his skin feel false, like wax paper, disgusting.

There are an abysmal amount of ways to screw up an elixir, and he'll be damned if any of the infinite creep up on him today.

When he woke up this morning he'd been excited-an immensely rare sight for the student-to work on his potion of anti-paralysis. Something about it all intrigued him, and he knew he'd wanna pocket some bottles for safe keeping.

Professor Slughorn had begun giving him heads up on what his class had in store, often lending extra books and indulging in the boy's curiosity.

"You could be a great Potions master one day you know." And Severus had known, being one of the only people to carry around tiny bottles of his own creation was somewhat of an ego booster. All the more fun in Herbology and all the more easy to take care of himself.

Maybe just 4 this time.

Other students in the room seem bored, not meeting much a reason to be brewing such a potion in the first place. It must be nice to walk in for the grade alone; Severus finishes pouring his honey-like antidote and runs his fingers through his hair. Everything always feels so sticky around cauldrons, his wrists hurt.

"Okay everyone, clean up for today." Slughorn's voice flits past Severus' ears, crackly and friendly as ever. "Keep this recipe in your repertoire.. Never know when Petrificus Totalus may sneak up on you."

What an understatement. Severus wouldn't be leaving Slytherin Dungeon on Sunday unless absolutely necessary, He wrings his hands and envisions a peaceful evening ahead of him, Saturdays bringing a sense of calm. It's just a trek back to his room and he can finally fall to his pillow and take a nap.

"Hey Sev." Lily's velvet voice acts as an invisible wall he walks into. Her eyes meet his as he takes a second to really catch up in his mind, and Lily's hands fall on his shoulders like knocking over old books. She just barely exceeds him in height, her freckles highlighted by the scattered warmth in her cheeks. "You look exhausted! Did you sleep at all?"

"I slept." He answers, voice croaking like he hadn't been awake the past hour. "Not enough though. I've been planning a long nap all day."

The arms of a warm floral cinnamon hold him tight and it's oh–so familiar. Everytime Lily hugs him, Severus doesn't quite know what to do. Does he hold her back? Would it be embarrassing for her if his hands grazed her hair and does she ever stop to think that it may ruin her reputation to be seen with whatever he is—so close to her lungs and– Why can't he just live in the moment? She always sees right through him in a way that no one else does. Perhaps it's because they've known each other for so long.. Perhaps he's just not the best at hiding his shadow. It's so easy to know a terrible person when Heaven on Earth stands directly next to you.

"I've been having some nightmares. Not too many, but some." His shoulders stay tense. There's never enough time with her, even if he were capable of simply standing here with more confidence he'd still have that voice in the back of his head screaming into the canal that connects his ear and up to his eyes and through every vein that reaches his brain. Spilling acid of it's disgusting to be seen and you ruin everything you touch. It's a shame really, his work in class shows otherwise. Good wizard, bad person. Nothing can change that.

She squeezes him ever so slightly, her fingers going to pet his hair before she brings him back to an arms length apart. There's a face of worry; he hates when she looks at him like that.

"I'm sorry." It's not fair, sleeping is supposed to be a time to rest. The one time when nothing else matters except just laying there unmoving, and trying not to go crazy when the loneliness veers its ugly claws. "Mind if i ask what about?"

Severus shakes his head. It's not like he has to hide this sort of stuff from her.

"It's just mum. She's much busier now, I never know when I'll see her. If it's for one month or one minute." Chest rising and falling, he doesn't expect to feel his throat tighten. He only cries when he's tired. "Sorry I need to go."

"Naptime?"

Please take care of yourself.

He nods and whispers a quiet "see you later" before quickly finding his way around the Hogwarts corridors. It always feels empty when he runs away from her, and whenever she says goodbye. He's always hoping for something better to come up, but he knows it's not logical to think that way. To wish and wish for anything to become perfect, for his life to grow into something he's not and will never be, for things to be different.

Reaching the common room, Severus doesn't say a word to anyone. He heads straight past leather sofas and flickering lamps, through the diamond-shaped door. He lands in the carpet of his room and the way his body hits his mattress feels like a rolling pin grading on his bones 10 times over. He'd exerted himself today, and it hadn't even been a full day's worth of classes.

Counting to 112, his hands grip the 2 layers of blanket he's buried himself in and the world around fades to a depressing gray, warm but far from inviting. Sometimes he wishes for a cat to accompany him with soft paws and a gentle purr.

Other times he just wants to stay asleep 'til Christmas comes.

______

Waves and waves of saltwater fight to pull him under, stinging his eyes and blocking his breath but he can't let them win. It's not a choice, but a responsibility, his long sleeves make it exceedingly hard to move and when he reaches this small puppy in front of him he's counting to 100 hoping they'll reach the shoreline before his lungs and limbs give out. She's shaking, and all he can do is wonder where his mother is.

Eileen had been in the water too, the fury of nature's pool hoisting uncertainty in every direction. Severus looks around, running past several people he can't recognize and it's starting to frighten him. Where'd she go? Is the beating heart he's carrying in his arms meant to be here? It's all a haze, a dreary haze.

They're all suddenly together, Severus ripping the paper wrapper off his straw and their waitress brings in a rack of many books. Eileen doesn't seem to even see Severus, she chatters and laughs but doesn't quite look at him, his brain hammers and drills and he just wants her to say 'I've missed you.'

You don't want to be here do you?

It hurts, hurts more than the water pulling him under and the times he's fallen down the stairs when wanting to skip out on Church and she still won't look at him. It's only when they're in his room and he runs into her arms that her voice is aimed directly at him, the small form she can barely hold on to.

"Why do you wish to be around me when I've been so wrong?"

Severus can't stop crying.

"I miss you. It doesn't matter what you've done, I still miss you."

This hug feels like he's fallen into their burning fireplace in the dead of Winter. He knows she's slipping away. She's always slipping away.

"I can't.."

His head pounds. The feeling of chills play through his shoulders and up his neck, it's a wonder that he's still submerged in fabric of green and silver. He can feel his eyes straining with remnants of salt when he opens them and it's only a little shocking when a rough palm collides with his forehead.

"You haven't got a fever, at least I don't think.."

Regulus has no sense of personal space.

"I'm not sick," Severus responds in such a way, he doesn't know if it's even audible. "Head.. hurts."

As if he were struck by lightning Regulus flings his entire arm back to then hang by his waist, presumably what he'd be doing if he hadn't gone to check Sev's temp status. His place next to his roommate's bed is awkward, and Severus is too wracked with leftover pain and confusion to care.

"Is it 7 already?"

"Nuh uh. Still 5:30." Regulus checks his wrist as if he remembered to bring his watch to school this term.

"More sleep."

And then Severus is out again, the tension in his forehead fading once he's breathing steadily and Regulus can't help but stare for longer than any normal person would. Disgust rises in himself because he doesn't feel like he should bear witness - he sighs out with thoughts racing. It'd be so easy to tease him for everything, but easy isn't what he's about. It's not like he's out to start wars. Only out to finish them.

Everburning candles lead the way out of the room in their spot on the small coffee table, almost like a glowing sign pointing him out. No one else is in here, though that shouldn't surprise him. Leave it to Severus to be the only Slytherin avoiding everyone else like the plague.

Once he can't justify standing around any longer, Regulus picks up a small book from under his bed and snakes his way back out from whence he came. A grimace forms on his face when the door has the audacity to screech and his head whips back to make sure it hadn't been a disturbance. Pangs of empathy, it's not something he knows yet. But maybe one day it'll make sense. And maybe someday it won't feel weird, weird that he stared with not much reason.

He's gotta write this all down.

[consanguinitatum]

David Tennant's Obscure Performances: His Involvement with Read Not Dead (pt 4) - The Insatiate Countess

And here, my friends, is the fulfillment of my promise - the last of the four threads about David Tennant and his involvement with the Read Not Dead (heretofore called RND) project at Shakespeare's Globe. This will concern the second of the two unattributed plays David did for RND and is the last of the two never-before-talked-about-in-the-fandom plays he did with them. If you feel like you need to catch up on the first three parts and understand a little bit of the history behind the Read Not Dead project before continuing with this one, go here for the first part about Edward III, here for the second part about The Fleer, and here for the third part about What You Will. Then come on back!

With all those links out of the way, we can continue with the last of the four plays - and the second one which I believe new to the David Tennant fandom.

When we last left our intrepid Scots thespian David T., he'd just wrapped up a staged reading of John Marston's What You Will for the RND. He had managed to fit the reading in between the April-May 2002 and the July-August 2002 runs of his then-current hit play, Lobby Hero.

Between then and November of 2002 (the next time he stepped on the Bear Gardens stage to do another RND staged reading) David had been seen on a number of other projects. In 2002 alone he'd been featured on an episode of Foyle's War and in the short film Nine And 1/2 Minutes by Josh Appignanesi. Lobby Hero had got him noticed; his star was on the rise. He was getting busier (and he'd get busier still when his next two plays, 2003's The Pillowman and 2005's Look Back In Anger, as well as his seminal role as Peter Carlisle in 2004's Blackpool, would catapult him into the public consciousness.) And - of course! - Doctor Who was also barreling down the pipe. But all that was still in his future.

David Tennant in (clockwise from top left): Foyle's War, Nine And 1/2 Minutes, The Pillowman, and Look Back in Anger

No, for right now it is Sunday, 10 November 2002, and we're along for the ride as David arrives at the Globe for the morning's balls to the wall rehearsal of the Tony Bell-directed John Marston play, The Insatiate Countess, before getting on stage at the Bear Gardens Theatre. We don't know whether David signed up for this one (or any of them, for that matter)! If so, he received his script a few days before, but if he was drafted at the last minute he would've received his script only hours before taking the stage that afternoon! Either way, he was surely up for it.

In the previous thread on What You Will I spoke about playwright John Marston. But this play - The Insatiate Countess - is a mystery wrapped in an enigma. Marston started writing the tragicomedy in 1608 and had the first act and part of the second written before - oops! - he was thrown in jail. Following Marston's imprisonment, the play languished for a while, and when Marston was released and took holy orders he wanted NO part of finishing it. Two other writers took it upon themselves to finish the draft: actor William Barksted, and Lewis Machin. This multi-authored approach caused significant issues - the other authors juggled the names of the characters, for one - and suffice to say, it really isn't a "finished" play in the way we'd envision the meaning of the term. It finally got published in 1613.

Scholars have had a lot to say about the play's provenance, and there are many different editions of it. It's also widely studied because it's been acknowledged as highly unusual for its time - since it shows female characters driven explicitly by sexual desire.

According to UK Theatre Web, The Insatiate Countess is "a play dripping with innuendo from its very first lines [as] sexual obsession leads to murder as Isabella, widowed Countess of Swevia, wastes little time in remarrying before running off with another man. And then another. And yet another." And, as is usual for plays of this period, there is also a second comic plot going on. "Meanwhile, two new brides coolly frustrate their husbands' wife-swapping attempts at revenge."

So...if the uniqueness of The Insatiate Countess has intrigued you and you'd like to read (one version of) a full text of the play, you can find it here:

That link will take you to the version of the play used during the RND performance reading.

But back to that staged reading. When RND staged it in November 2002, they stated "it was the first performance of the complete play - tragic and comic plots together - since the 17th Century." David played the role of Rogero, Count of Arsena and Massino, later Isabella’s lover. The actors all donated their time to the project for free.

And here (again thanks to the Globe Archives) is the cast list from the digitized programme for the 10 November 2002 performance:

In February 2020, the Shakespeare Institute Players (their student theatre company out of Stratford) performed The Insatiate Countess, by William Barkstead and Lewis Machin, from a draft by John Marston." There appears to be no full version available online, but here is a short snippet of it if you'd like to take a listen:

And with that, my patient listeners, we wrap up the history of David's four interactions with the Shakespeare's Globe Read Not Dead project, which brings dead plays to life. While David did only four plays, the Read Not Dead project continues to this day.

One last postscript: the performance of The Insatiate Countess was recorded - as were all four of David's staged readings with RND - though I haven't listened to it (and sadly, the archive notes the start of the audio is cut off.) You can listen to the recording of the performance and others from the series, as the recordings are archived in the Globe Archive and Library in London. Access to the archive is available by appointment only for professionals and academics affiliated with institutions of higher education.

I've listened to Edward III and The Fleer, but have yet to hear What You Will or The Insatiate Countess. On my next trip to London, I'll be sure to make time to listen to both - even though some of the audio is missing on both of those, that's all right. I'll listen to them anyway!

I hope you all have enjoyed traipsing with me down the memory lane of David Tennant's works at the RND. 'Til next time!

[elizaellwrites]

UPCOMING: Chapters 11 & 12

I'm currently putting the final touches on Chapters 11 & 12 and will be publishing them on Sunday or Monday. In the meantime, here is an excerpt from Chapter 12...

A faint sound awoke him from his musings, leaving him frozen to listen. Slowly, the distinct pattern of heavy footsteps echoed in the front of the council building, growing closer. They were familiar, awfully familiar, and as they continued down the hall and toward the doors of the center, Jacob could feel his heart tightening in his chest.

His mind was at war at the halt of the man in the corridor, just outside. Part of him wanted to run, to disappear as if he had never returned, but he knew he couldn’t. It was too late and there was nowhere to go.

His clock had run out.

The door opened, revealing the large figure looming on the other side. Sharp bronze eyes set on him at once, shadowed by his heavy brow line. The headmaster’s grayed-brown hair was combed away from his face, revealing the sharp curve of his features while he scowled in contemplation at his son. He stepped into the room, folding his hands behind his back as the door swung to a close behind him. A passing glance could pass the man off as calm, but the tense stance of his broad shoulders told a story of silent fury. He wore his council robes of blue and tan, yet Jacob could envision the consuming black of his battle armor instead.

The gold in his father’s eyes sparked and Jacob could feel the encroaching perspective on the wall of his mind. He tightened his jaw, holding his boundaries while trying to keep his being free from any signal of his true emotion. “Father,” he addressed plainly, unable to keep the small amount of gravel to his voice.

“Jesan,” His true name was a cold curse upon his father’s lips; yet spoken as if it was not. “I’m glad to see you’re recovering from your injuries.” The headmaster’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he cast his gaze down before rising to meet his again.

Jacob was silent, watching the carefully constructed mask of his father.

Maishear looked across the room to the figures of Anna and Seniar, a flare of anger visible for a split second before it was snuffed out. “I would like to speak with you if you’re feeling up to it.”

The request was no such thing, and the building pressure of his father’s prying within the confines of his mind spoke louder than anything he could say. “I will come when I’m fully healed,” Jacob told him, twisting his face in a convincing act of pain as he shifted himself on the cot. “I feel a bit disoriented right now,” he raised his fingertips to his brow, running them lightly across his temple.

His father’s eyes flashed again, the corner of his mouth jumping in the way that stirred Jacob’s insides. “You’ve been fully healed,” his tone was that of an exasperated dad, chiding. “So, come along.”

He cursed internally, withholding the urge to glance at Merul who had clearly been the one to reveal the truth to the headmaster. He swung his legs free of the cot, standing slowly as his legs were truly unsteady; though if he stumbled, he wouldn’t say if it was for a convincing show or not. “Can I change first?” He played along, gesturing to the healing center’s spare clothing that was far from his size, the shirt falling halfway to his knees, designed for one that was much larger and more vertically blessed than he.

His father looked him up and down, the internal debate ending quickly with a curt nod. “I expect you to be in my office in ten minutes,” he raised his eyebrows, holding eye contact for an extra second before turning away.

Taglist: @hxad-ovxr-hxart, @the-printed-words, and @my-cursed-prince. If you'd like to be added, please let me know!

[dankusner]

Reunited San Antonio rock band Girl in a Coma teases new album

A reunited Girl in a Coma -- from left, Phanie Diaz, Nina Diaz and Jenn Alva -- is working on a new album and will be playing live again.

Girl in a Coma shared an old video on social media Sunday as well as some news — the band will be releasing a new album.

The video was a performance of the song “Invisible” recorded for Austin radio station KUTX in 2014.

“Sunday Share! ‘Invisible’ recorded for KUTX Austin,” the post on Facebook and Instagram read. “A super rad song that will makes its way back on to our set and later, new album.”

Drummer Phanie Diaz confirmed the news by email on Monday.

“Yes we are working on (an album)!” Diaz wrote. “We also have a tour in the works. We signed with doitbooking agency. We decided to get back together due to the overwhelming response of people when we did the final shows. So many stories and love, and we as a band just talked everything out and decided to reform and make more music not just for the love of it but for the love we received.”

Diaz added that the band would the first show of its new phase soon, and that it would be in San Antonio.

It’s the latest and strongest sign of life from Girl in a Coma, the beloved San Antonio rock band that broke up in 2018.

Since then, singer Nina Diaz has been working on her solo career and the rhythm section of Diaz and Jenn Alva on bass have formed the core of the punk band Fea.

Fea has a short tour set for September and has been working on a new album. Nina Diaz recently released a cover of Fleetwood Mac’s “The Chain” with Diego and Emilio Navaira’s band Ready Revolution.

Girl in a Coma reunited in 2023 for a short Texas tour which it called its “Final Curtain” shows. They then played a one-off show earlier this year as part of the revived La Semana Alegre music festival.

“We joined the crew that has their final shows,” Nina Diaz joked in an interview with the Express-News in April. “Every couple of years, we’re going to say, 'THIS time, it’s the final show.' ”

At the time, band members said they were not writing new material for Girl in a Coma and had no plans to get back together more formally.

That seemed to change in July when the band announced they were planning more gigs.

“I know we said we were done but you guys have overwhelmed us with so much love and messages that we decided to play more shows,” they wrote in a post on July 16. A follow-up post about two weeks later indicated the band was planning shows in Texas as well as a mini tour.

Formed by childhood friends, Girl in a Coma broke out of San Antonio in the mid-2000s after catching the ear of Joan Jett on a SiTV show spotlighting unknown bands.

From 2007 to 2011, they released three albums and an EP on Jett’s Blackheart label that showcased Nina Diaz’s fierce, emotional vocals driven by a bristling rhythm section of Phanie Diaz on drums and Alva on bass. The music sounded like a punky take on '80s alt rock — the band’s name came from the Smiths song “Girlfriend in a Coma” — with nods to their San Antonio roots.

Aug 5, 2024

ACE OF BASS

When it comes to pleasing the ladies, Girl in a Coma's four-string slapper uses her softer hand

Oct. 19, 2007

San Antonio alt-pop trio Girl in a Coma teased us this summer.

They had just released their "Road to Home" video — starring lip-synching wonder Amanda Lepore — and were booked on the Vans Warped Tour.

The Diaz sisters Nina (vocals) an d Phanie (drums), and lesbian bassist Jenn Alva, were on a three-day swing through Texas: San Antonio, Houston and then Dallas on July 13.

But at the last minute, the all-Latina act crossed off their Dallas gig?

And we felt stood up.

On Friday, however, they're headed back North Texas.

Any resentment will most likely be forgiven, because Girl in a Coma's music is like a throwback to The Smiths envisioned by Joan Jett.

Actually, Morrissey's musical director produced their demo disc, and Jett released their debut album "Both Before I'm Done" on her Blackheart Records label.

Earlier this week, Alva answered some tawdry e-mail questions that only the lone queer in the band could answer.

How come Girl in a Coma bailed on the Warped stop in Dallas? We didn't bail. It was just a miscommunication. Actually, we were never supposed to be scheduled to play [the Dallas stop].

What's the best bass line to seduce a lady? Anything by Les Claypool — not! Bass lines don't really work. But when it comes to seduction, maybe play some Travis or Air.

You're a bassist, so the fingertips on your left hand are probably calloused. Has a sexual partner ever complained that your meat hooks are simply too rough for her va-jay-jay? I don't use my left hand.

If lesbian bass virtuoso Meshell Ndegeocello and you dueled over the same gal, who'd win? Meshell — I don't duel for girls.

Who came up with the excellent idea to use Amanda Lepore for the "Road to Home" video? Nina came up with the idea to use a transsexual. So why not use the world's most famous sexually reassigned wonder? By the way, Amanda is incredibly sweet and a professional lady. Nothing too crazy went on at the shoot. If Amanda made a pass at you, could you take the ball and run with it? Or is she not woman enough to handle a gal like you? I don't think I'm women enough for her. What do you promise to do at your Denton gig that you've never done before? I promise to play the all songs correctly.

[jackblogsthings]

Quantum Leap Manifestation - Instantly Shift to a New Reality!

Whether you're looking for a career or financial breakthrough or mastery of an entirely new language, musical instrument, or just a cure for your body, mind, and body, a quantum leap can be essential to achieving your dreams. This powerful visualization technique fills your mind with inspirational clarity and motivation, giving you rocket fuel to accelerate your manifestations. What Is a Quantum Leap? A quantum jump can be described as a massive shift in your lifestyle. This is manifesting on steroids, and it happens quickly! You can make the quantum leap by focusing on what you would like to accomplish, visualizing it and trusting your psychic sense. This technique of manifestation is unique because it requires a total belief in your abilities and letting go any notion about how you will arrive at your destination. It can be a challenge for some to give up the belief that they don't have all of the answers. However, the secret to quantum leaping is believing in yourself. A combination of meditation and visualization is another way of achieving quantum leaps. This can help you get into a state of deep meditation while also imprinting your desires onto the fabric of reality. You may also attempt quantum jumping by removing the "shoulds" out of your life and accepting your discomfort. How can I take an quantum leap? Relax and imagine the new life you'd like to live. Imagine yourself with a brand new career, a more fulfilling relationship or having the capability to manage your own full-time business. It is being able to imagine them as someone who possess the traits that bring the new realities into their life. A TikToker with the name kadyroxs has posted a video on how to accomplish this. She suggests that you visualize some kind of window or bridge into another reality in order to skip timelines. She asserts that this is effective as well as focusing and engaging in a spirited manner. The most important thing to remember in quantum jumping is that it's not just time that differentiates the different people who live each desired reality. It's also energy that needs to be balanced. It's essential to be able to feel, think, and act according to the way that you envision for yourself.

How Much Time Does it Take to Make an Quantum Leap? It could appear that it takes a long time to get a quantum leap however, it is not the scenario. It's just a matter of persevering over time. This strategy will help you to accelerate your personal development dramatically. However, you must be committed to the process and remain steady until you achieve the results that you want. Quantum leaps require unwavering faith in yourself, therefore you must practice this technique with a sense of passion. It's not an easy task to do this, and you will likely have some bumps throughout the process. But don't let these deter you. You can achieve your goals if you continue to follow this approach. Start by getting clear on your deepest desires. Imagine yourself in the world you'd like to experience. Write down your goals. Make use of Quantum Leap Manifestation to create this new reality. This powerful technique will infuse your mind with an uplifting sense of motivation and clarity that will aid you in achieving your goals more quickly. What can I do to create an Quantum Leap? Manifesting your dreams requires a mix of positive thoughts, visualizing and being consistent in your actions. You are able to leap a mile but it will require patience and time. If you want to lose some pounds, for example you'll have to get rid of junk foods, cook in large quantities on Sundays, and exercise regularly. It isn't easy to sustain a new habit but if you are committed to the program, the results will be worth it. Quantum leaping is a method that uses meditation and visualization to open up the possibility of alternative realities and the desired outcomes. It is important to remain focussed on the goal you want to achieve and visualize it clearly in a relaxed state. If you can do this, you will begin to look for opportunities that can bring you to your goal. You can also learn how to connect and establish a connection with your personal Quantum Angel helper, which aids you in making better choices and encourages lucky coincidences for your greatest potential. Watch the YouTube video