#i had plans to do i hate it here and I still do

[insomniadreamzz]

Hey I'm absolutely obsessed with your series about the reader having Jinx's child. I would like to ask if you could write a scenario where Jinx arrives at the hideout and the reader is breastfeeding the baby and Isha is laying down with her head resting on the reader's shoulder looking intently at the small figure in the reader's lap, something like Jinx joining them and after putting Isha and the baby to sleep they finally have some alone time and they have romantic but intense sex? Thanks♥️

For more context please read the previous part „Our Family“

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Our family part 2

G!P Jinx x Fem!Reader

Mentions of smut, G!P, fluff

It was already in the evening, Jinx was the whole day out of her hideout to do some work together with Sevika. You hated it when she was away, knowing it can be really dangerous out there especially when they had to go to Piltover and do some business there.

However, you spend the whole day taking care of Isha and your daughter Powder. playing with Isha while the little one was asleep and right now you were sitting on the couch, feeding your little one while Isha was laying with her head on your shoulder, seeming to feel tired now after a whole day of playing with you when you had the time to. Isha eyed her little sister all the time, she was happy to be a big sister and soon having someone to play with. It was exhausting but you loved your life.

Jinx finally arrived back home at her hideout, immediately smiling when she saw the three of you together, approaching you before placing a kiss on your lips and one on Isha’s temple. „Hey my loves, how was your day?“ She asked before sitting down next to you. „It was…very eventful.“ You chuckled. „How was yours? Did you have success?“ You asked in return, making her nod in response. „Yeah everything went just like planned. I am happy to be back to my family though.“ She mentioned, looking down at the smallest one here with a bright smile. „You three are the reason why I am more careful now and don’t try to bomb myself anymore when I get into serious trouble.“ Jinx said with a little laugh but you knew in fact it wasn’t funny at all.

Every time Jinx was close to lose she wanted to bomb herself and the enemy but that’s not happening anymore. She had a reason now to stay alive and it was you and the kids. A lot of things have changed in her life ever since she met you and you could say she was happy for once in her life. „I think little Powder is done now.“ You said, making the blue haired woman nod, watching you picking up the baby and pat her back gently. „It’s still weird hearing my real name but I gave it a better meaning. Powder is our daughter now and not my old self who…jinxed everything…“ You notice her voice getting softer, making you frown a little bit. „I know Jinxy. Don’t think about your past anymore, focus on the present. The Powder you were isn’t existing now. You’re Jinx and Powder is our little beautiful girl.“ You tried to light her mood up a little and you succeeded, Jinx smiled at your words. „Yes.“ She agreed with you and Isha crawled over to Jinx, hugging her tightly as a little yawn left her.

„Someone looks tired huh? Let’s get you to sleep.“ Jinx mentioned, Isha nodding while rubbing her eyes. You were busy rocking the baby to sleep while Jinx put Isha into bed. The past weeks you and Jinx made sure to make the hideoud ‚baby proof‘ putting up walls on the edges of the giant fan so none of the two girls would ever fall. Especially when Powder will start crawling one day. Better be prepared sooner than later. You even managed to create rooms in there so everyone had their little privacy. Everything was just perfect now.

Powder was finally asleep as well and you made sure to carefully and quietly put her into her baby bed, pulling the blanket over the little figure with a bright smile.

Once both kids were in bed sleeping, you and Jinx finally had their alone time. You both being in your bedroom as you got ready for bed but there was something on Jinx’s mind, you could clearly tell. „Is everything okay my love?“ You asked as you undid her braids, feeling there was something off. „I am good don’t worry. I am very happy and still I can’t figure out how I deserved this…how I deserved you, Isha and Powder. You can’t imagine how happy that makes me, having a family…“ You heard her voice crack in the end of her sentence, she was crying but this time out of happiness which made your eyes tear up as well. „You make me the happiest too.“ You said as you hugged her from behind, now nuzzling into her open, soft blue hair, inhaling her scent. You loved your girlfriend so much it was hard to describe it sometimes.

Jinx shifted, moving a little bit to face you before crashing her lips on yours, both of you kissing each other deeply and with so much love. It turned you on a little when she moved her tongue inside if your mouth, exploring every inch and playing with your tongue, you gave in with a hum, letting her dominate the kiss as you let yourself completely fall, letting her hands slip under your shirt and move up to your breasts, gently squeezing them which made you moan softly. „Jinx…“ You hum softly, breaking the kiss. She looked at you with a lustful gaze, making you blush. „We don’t need our clothes now do we?“ You said with a chuckle and in no time both of you got rid if your clothes, Jinx pushing you down on the bed as she hovers over you, her lips finding your neck, leaving hickeys and little bites on your sensitive skin, making you gasp and moan as you ran your hand into her hair. „Fuck…you know how to make me weak do you?…“ You whispered close to her ear, sending shivers down her spine as she then pulled back to look into your eyes. „Of course I know what my baby likes…“ She said with a smirk before continuing her work down your chest, starting to play with your breasts which obviously got bigger after having your child, giving her more space to leave hickeys and once she started flicking her tongue over your sensitive nipple, you let out another soft moan.

„I love you…“ You mumble under your breath, chuckling a little bit when her sweet soft kisses up your neck tickled you until she reached for your lips again. „I love you too.“ Jinx said in between soft little pecks on your lips. Your hands move down along her sides, enjoying to feel her body. Your hand reached down to her shaft, gently moving your hand up and down, wanting to make her feel good too. She moaned softly as well now as she felt the pleasure from your hand rubbing her shaft, her hips automatically jerking forward. „Fuck…“ She cursed under her breath. „P-Please rub it against me…“ You begged and of course Jinx won’t deny you. Your hands move back to wrap around her neck as she teased you with the tip first and then rub it between your wet folds, both of you humming softly at the good feeling. „Yes…good girl let me get it nice and wet for you before I fuck you.“

Her words made you feel even more turned on, moaning once she finally moved inside, thrusting her hips back and forth inside of you, making you moan more loudly. Jinx leaning down to shut you up with a kiss. „Shh…baby not so loud you will wake up the kids.“ She mumbled against your lips with a chuckle. You bit down on your lower lip, trying to keep quiet as she fucked you, her hands reaching for yours intertwining your fingers as she wanted to hold you, your legs wrapping around her waist. Both of you had intense eye contact, looking at each other with so much love and passion as soft moans left both of your lips, your pussy clenching around her cock after a while, making her feel you were about to cum soon. „Is my baby close huh? Good. Cum for me my love.“ She cooed before letting go of your hands, sitting up as she grabbed your hips before pounding inside of you in a fast pace, making you moan out, immediately biting down on your lower lip hard as you noticed you got a little too loud again, shutting yourself up. The view of Jinx pounding into you with her beautiful long blue hair hanging down her chest and a few strands of hair along her face, it was just so sexy it drove you over the edge, making you reach your orgasm as your cunt pulsed around her, legs shaking.

Jinx immediately leaned down again after you ride out your orgasm, kissing you deeply and passionately. „Shh…it’s okay. You did so well..“ She whispered against your lips, you slowly calming down from your high, knowing you still had to get her off. „Hnn…we are not done yet, let me make you cum.“

She pulled out of you, you getting on your knees as you positioned yourself so you were ready to suck her off. Your tongue gently swirling around her tip before taking her cock into your mouth, making her moan and grab your hair as you kept moving, taking her cock deep down your throat as you kept yourself steady by holding her hips. „O-Oh fuck…yes just like that baby…I am so close fuck…“ She said in between her moaning, instinctively moving her hips, accidentally making you choke on her as she finally came as well, releasing her cum inside your mouth. Of course you made sure to swallow it all, smirking once you pulled away and looked up at her as you were panting softly.

„God…I love you so much.“ Jinx said before cupping your cheeks and kissing you deeply.

You both were so in love it was hard to describe into words but your actions already showed enough. Soon you and Jinx made yourself comfortable as you fell asleep in each others arms, enjoying the warmth of each other’s bodies.

———

Should I make more parts of this Series? Do you like it? 👀

[ma1dita]

not your goddess

a 'partners in crime' installment - luke castellan x dionysus!reader words: 8k holy shit this is the longest fic for this series so far summary: (established relationship (uhhhh, well…)) The one where you both know the best of days eventually have to come to an end. Change in perspective is always good, but it makes you and Luke see your futures quite differently—you wonder if you’ll be together in it at all. (Luke Castellan x fem!Dionysus!reader) a/n: mmmyeah this is a songfic - goddess by laufey. references to waiting for godot by samuel beckett if you squint

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[ it always goes like this, could've predicted it || i'm so naïve to think you loved me for me, kissed as I ran off stage || you're too old to play this game, guess you're still growing up at thirty nineteen]

Once you open yourself up to someone and bare your soul to them in honesty, they get a choice whether they want to be with you or not. It’s as simple and as convoluted as that. Normal humans are complex as it is—but to be a demigod must mean to endure all of that and then some. Luke has been especially hard to reach lately, and trying to understand him feels like grappling wisps of smoke. You let him build his whole life around you without either of you realizing and suddenly the walls feel like they’re closing in. Though maybe he always knew that—Luke Castellan is always intentional, and always full of surprises. 

“We should run away from here.”

His voice breaks through the crunching of dead leaves underfoot on your trek to the stables. It’s hard to tell if he’s joking, even harder to decipher when your eyes meet in the dim light hanging above the Dutch doors that you walk through. 

The two of you move as if partners in an orchestrated dance, the steps routine and not needing instruction; you fill up the water troughs and he steps around you to grab the bag of feed while his other hand grazes your waist, beckoning you to the next task. Most days are like this now, plotted out perfectly from sunrise to sunset. 

To be content means that most of it is predictable, and some might call it boring, but it comes with the inner satisfaction that what the both of you share is only yours. 

It’s peaceful.

Neither of you has ever really had that—and in your own way, both of you want to hold onto it for as long as you have it. Like how comets are always predictable; the knowing doesn’t make them any less beautiful.

“Let’s go now then,” you chuckle lightly, not looking at him as you shut off the hose. Bowie, your pegasus, brays in thanks as he dunks his muzzle into the trough, splashing water at your ankles. The water is frigid, a chill crawling up your spine and when you look up, Luke’s already staring at you solemnly, almost blending in with the shadows that drape over the barn. He stands there leaning against the wooden fence with his sharp, stone-faced features carved out by moonlight.

“Baby?” 

Eyebrows furrowing, you take a step towards him and he’s eerily still, holding a hand out for you. His fingers don’t shake once you intertwine them with your own and he’s so sure of himself that his resolve is like a suit of armor. What a funny thought—him needing protection from you of all people, the girl he lays bare with most nights and who knows him at his most vulnerable. 

“What do you think? Do I look like I’m joking?”

Luke’s words creak like metal hinges—coming off abrasive at the sight of your resistant expression. Truthfully, he hates it when you look at him like this—like there’s something wrong about him that you’re convinced you can fix. You don’t do it on purpose, but he’d like to think that you don’t think of him as one of your little DIY projects. This is different, calculated—his plans for the both of you will map out the rest of your future.

“Are…are you planning to leave?”

Though you hate to make the comparison, he’s a lot like his father: a one-track mind with only him knowing what’s coming next. Luke just expects everyone else to keep up, and you’re left feeling like someone’s pulled the rug out from under you as he holds onto your wrists firmly in the dim light. He’s nervous, even if he doesn’t show it. You can still tell by the way his voice cracks, a melancholy sound like he’s pleading for you to understand a hidden meaning you must’ve missed in the past few months of bliss.

 “We are,” he corrects, before his voice begins to falter, “I mean we can. We…we should,” he says tentatively, and your arms jerk forward with the motion as you stumble into his grasp, “Think of it, babe. We could get out of here and do something great. Make a life for ourselves.”

You squint.

He’s not even asking, and that makes it worse, you think—it’s like he’s already got one foot out the door. You’re not sure if he even considered you possibly saying no.

Are you?

Entertaining frivolous conversations that your boyfriend has with you before bed is one thing—but acting on them? The truth is that you’ve never afforded yourself a future outside of the reality that you have now. You never thought you’d have this after everything—running across the country to find your father and make this family in nowhere New York. It wasn’t a possibility that your 14-year-old self would’ve ever dreamed of. 

But then it happened, and you count your lucky stars that it led you to Luke. This is your home; you built it from the ground up with him the day you both stepped into your roles and washed your hands of stupid pranks. And maybe what you’ve always dreamt of is something you already have now.

Is that a crime? To like your reality better because it’s tangible—not everyone needs to be the main character in a sweeping saga. You do have a life, and you’d like to say it’s pretty alright, all things considered.

“Luke,” you swallow, face scrunching up in the way it does when he knows you’re about to say no, “I mean what about our responsibilities? What about…”

It was cute back when you were fourteen, but he now finds that he hates the way your nose scrunches up when you disagree with something, and it always makes him feel stupid for even asking in the first place. Luke steps away, dropping your hands as he sighs gruffly, “That’s a shit excuse, you know that, babe.” Dust kicks up from under his feet and you think he looks like a child about to throw a tantrum. The pegasi whinny softly behind you, and if they could talk it would probably be something like, Oh shit. Like a flip of a switch, he’s erratic, something pent up inside of him is now uncontrolled.

“I mean what do you want me to say, Luke? You want us to leave? Just disappear and leave Annie and Grover… and my brothers? What then? We don’t have money or degrees, or anywhere to go to—”

“We could make do—I mean we’ve both done it before Trouble, and now we can be together without all this. We don’t need camp. Or the gods’ blessings, I mean what did they ever do for us?” 

He’s tired, you think—because the Luke standing in front of you right now isn’t anything like the one you know. Your Luke loves your campers as much as you do; he’s the type that gives piggyback rides and teaches the little ones how to swim in Canoe Lake. He prays at every mealtime—twice as long because you don’t see the point in it, and likes to fall asleep against your chest in the twinkly lights of cabin 12.

The Luke you know would never want to run away from the home you’ve both created for yourselves. Not without a proper plan. Luke always says that he loves making plans just as much as he loves you, which must mean a lot.

You already have what you want, for now. That’s the contingency of it—for now. You just don’t see it getting better than this; finding camp meant finding yourself, and that’s what your mother always wanted for you. Having a real shot of being a family, even if your dad drives you nuts, and the twins like to fill the bathtub with root beer, and Annie constantly demanding she prove that she knows the first 500 digits of pi comes with the path you chose. 

Family—it’s what you were promised.

“We’re not ready, Luke. I mean… the real world out there is a lot worse than getting a C in archery or avoiding bathroom duty. We’ve still got some growing up to do—what’s the rush?”

He’s testy now—jaw swinging the crick in his neck and he does this when he’s about to say something mean, like the words have to fight their way out of his mouth, “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

Luke watches you look cluelessly at him like nothing he’s saying is making sense and it’s so frustrating that it makes his head hurt. What happened to you—his free-spirited girl who would follow wherever he leads? You don’t know how crucial this all is—Luke needs to know…

He needs to know if you’ll still follow him wherever he goes, even if it’s away from everything you have here.

But maybe you both imagined growing old together quite differently then.

“You’re making it sound like I’m in over my head about this when I know you don’t like it here. Listen to what I’m trying to tell you,” he bristles, hand leaning over the wooden beam above your head, “This place is getting old. We’re getting old. I want everything with you. Can’t you see that?” It feels like he’s caging you in, and he makes it sound so simple that it makes you laugh.

“Of course I do. All I’m saying is we should think this through more. I mean…We’re demigods. I’m not saying we can’t handle it and I’m not saying no, but—”, you barely finish the sentence before Luke interrupts you again. 

The difficulty with Luke is that when he wants something, he wants it with his entire being. And he never goes down without a fight—even when its with you.

“But you’re not saying yes. Then what are you saying? That you wouldn’t be happy with me?”

Rolling your eyes, you swing yourself out from under his arm and start taking off your apron because clearly, work is not on the agenda tonight. You fling it onto the hook before spinning around to look at him.

“Stop putting words in my mouth. I am happy with you. Here. Where it’s safe. Where we have beds to sleep in and food to eat and the only real reason I have to look over my shoulder is to see if my dad’s bribing your siblings to sneak him alcohol,” you say half-jokingly, and it so badly misses the mark as you see his brows furrow deeper into his forehead. 

“Give me a break,” he seethes, your name rolling out of his lips like acid and he has more to say but doesn’t know if he should. But he’s already started something and you’re just waiting for him to finish it. He has a habit of doing this, rolling the words around in his mouth for dramatic effect. 

This is gonna hurt.

“Oh just spit it out, Luke. Don’t whine like a baby.”

“Your dad? He’s a fucking joke. Can’t stand him half the time and I don’t know how you do,” he starts, pacing around you like a boxer in a ring. You stand still as a statue, eyes lit and tracking him in the dark as he continues, “You know I’m right. He’s just keeping you busy because now that he has you, he wants to control you. And you don’t even get a pat on the back.”

“You do not wanna go there, I can promise you that.”

“Well, I am. Because I’m tired of watching you waste your potential. You used to be so…exciting,” His arms swing around him like feathered wings and Luke shakes his head, turning away from you to look at the moon, “I need you to care about our future too, okay? Cut the shit and be a real fucking person for once and not whatever this little puppet show you put on for your dad is because it drives me crazy sometimes. All the time. I’m losing it, Trouble. Can’t you tell?”

It feels like a blow to the chest and you take a deep breath to placate your feelings in case they’re tampering with his—and you find that the anger is all his own. Your words shoot out like a lit cannon in rebuttal, “This drives you crazy? I didn’t know it was so hard on you, Luke. Poor you, picking up after me when you literally offer to help,” you scoff, stomping over to get him to look at you since he’s so intent on having this conversation, “Do you think you get granted immortality for checking off campers on your attendance log?” He can’t have thought it would be that easy, can’t have imagined you wouldn’t get defensive when things don’t go your way. Because it’s been like that for a while now, and Luke’s been falling off pace with life here. He’s not the all-star golden boy he used to be. Deep down, you know that too; he only likes it here because you do. They say with anything the first year is the hardest—and although he wouldn’t change a thing with your relationship, this took work. Loving you was supposed to be his reward, and it’s as if he doesn’t know you anymore. 

He’s not sure he knows himself that well anymore either.

“Of course not! That’s exactly what I’m saying—all of this won’t help us, so why are we exhausting ourselves instead of focusing on what’s important?” He runs his hands through his hair, tugging at the curls to anchor himself to this argument. And now you just want to strike back, to be damned with the consequences. Real love is a mirror, and although it's your first big fight…sometimes it hurts to be seen better than how you see yourself, and it hurts less to inflict it upon someone else instead of admitting that it hurts you.

“Oh so I’m exhausting to be with, is that it?”

He rips his apron off and tosses it at you, “Yes. Is that what you want me to say? You want a bad guy, you’ll get one. I don’t know what to—” His anger has always brewed like a storm—quiet and rumbling under the surface until he’s ready to strike. It comes down all at once and you’re covered in it with no way out but through. You bat the fabric to the ground angrily.

“You wanna repeat that?”

He laughs, a mocking, snarling sound, “You know what, it makes sense now—you’re just like your father. It all tracks!”

Your jaw tightens, pushing through by giving him another chance, testing him. Daring him.

“You wanna say that again?”

The wind picks up at his feet as he spins around you so fast it almost gives you whiplash, “Don’t give me that bullshit.” He’s tired and angry, but you’ve never seen this other side of him before—this ferocity that was unleashed at the idea of you wanting something he might not. Maybe you both are too similar then, too stubborn to give in until someone breaks.

“Don’t talk to me like that, Castellan. I’m warning you. Just because your dad hates you doesn’t mean that mine does.”

He laughs. 

Luke laughs like you’ve just told him you’ve put Chiron in another dress and that pigs can fly but then he looks at you… He looks at you with his chestnut brown eyes and they’re just empty, boring deep into your soul.

“What happened to you?”

It’s a weird feeling, to know someone so well that you can see the other side of them they can’t see for themselves. You haven’t got a single clue.

“I grew up. You were there, Luke. You helped me do it. I wanted to be just like you—the role model, the one that people like, and what, now that I'm not just some crazy idea in your head you’re bored?” 

Your voice cracks and so does a piece of Luke’s heart. You’re too tenderhearted, too good for him, and everything about you sends shockwaves through his being. This is what he told Kronos—even if you had it in you to force the gods to kneel and listen, would you be able to make the jump? Luke blinks, tuning back into your words.

“I mean you’re not even asking. It seems like you’ve made your decision for us. What does that mean to you? Us?”

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, clearing his throat. His apology feels heavier than it should, and you can’t figure out why. He won’t let you find out if he even means it. 

“No, you’re not. You don’t even know what you’re sorry for, and now as soon as we’re happy, you get bored. You wanna talk about fathers, you’re just like yours too. Happy?” 

The words come out almost explosive, a shot in the dark and you didn’t think you’d say it, but you did. Thoughtless, without care, until it sinks into him like a sharp blade. Luke’s face hardens and you’re not sure how long he’s been standing so far away.

“Are we?”

It’s almost lights out and you’re still here arguing with Luke, so today was not as predictable as you thought it would be. Unease grips you by the scrap of your neck like a merciless kitten, holding on for dear life. This isn’t a feeling you should associate with the love of your life.

“What did you say?”

“Like you said, we’re demigods,” he says whispering your name, “what do we do now that we’re happy? That usually means something worse is coming up ahead.” Luke scoffs, half in disbelief at his own realization, the other half in defeat, “We’re meant for more than just being happy—that…this isn’t enough. We’re meant for glory, not shoveling pegasi shit and taking care of children instead of planning for a future with our own. This shouldn’t be the end of us.”

Your lip quivers, tongue in cheek and you need to touch something, hold someone, to remind yourself that this is happening. But you don’t reach out to him because if you get too close he’ll see the tears in your eyes. Grabbing the dandy brush, you trudge over to Bowie and rake it through his hair, mumbling, “I’m happy. I’ve got you,” you swallow, turning to Luke, “I love you.”

He’s already in the doorway, swinging the bottom panel closed with his hip as he looks over his shoulder, frowning.

“Is that all you’ve got?”

Bowie brays next to you and it sounds like someone blowing a raspberry when they’re tired of a situation—maybe you are going crazy and they do understand—but one thing you do know is that you can’t understand Luke right now. 

The truth is that love is a bunch of horseshit, really.

[ oh, were you surprised by me when you took me home? || When the glamour wore off, reduced to skin and bone || i can't even tell who you want to know || i'm a goddess on stage, human when we're alone]

Your knees hit the dirt again, falling forward onto your hands as you dry heave. In the blink of an eye, you feel Maimer resting against the apex of your neck.

“Yield.”

Clarisse La Rue has barely broken a sweat during this spar, and yet here you are at her feet feeling like today’s breakfast will make a reappearance on the arena floor. The younger girl rolls her eyes as she pulls you up by the leather strap of your chest plate, sighing at the unnatural pallor of your skin as she flops onto a bench with your dead weight following suit as your knees buckle.

“You know, I knew you said you were bad at this, but are you even trying?” she scoffs, throwing a water bottle at you that you fumble in your hands. Winning never feels as good when the other person isn’t putting up a fight. You gulp down the icy refreshment, shutting your eyes for a moment to escape the blinding sun as you mutter, “Never been a fighter unless necessary, Risse. That’s all you.”

“Alright, enough of this.”

Your eyes wrench open as you lean back on your forearms to look at the daughter of Ares. At thirteen, she’s a force of nature on her own and unlike anyone else at camp, Clarisse would never mince her words for the sake of others’ feelings. You needed someone to tell it to you straight.

“You know everyone can tell when you and Luke fight, right? I mean it rarely happens but when it does it always feels like the world is out of balance until you both fix it.”

You groan, throwing your arm over your face and unintentionally hiding from her. That couldn’t be true—the world does not revolve around whether or not a daughter of Dionysus and a son of Hermes had their shit together.

But Camp Half-Blood does.

“You’re lying, La Rue. It’s really not that deep.”

And then she looks at you like you’re stupid, which might be her customary expression for anyone else but to you—well, she at least respects you. For now, unless you keep whining like a badly written love interest.

“Gods, woman. You were so much cooler back then, what the hell happened to you?”

“Clarisse, it isn’t that easy—-” you grumble, putting your face in your hands as you stare at the dirt. Of course, you know that everyone knows, secrets run through Camp Half-Blood like running water. It slips through your fingers easily, soaking through the ground until everyone’s stuck in the mud. Your boots sink slightly into the softening earth and Clarisse realizes you’re crying before you do. 

Why the fuck are you crying? 

It was a stupid argument and it probably doesn’t mean anything but for once, you don’t know what to do. It feels stupid that your body decided to cry before your brain could come to the conclusion. This all feels so stupid.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to make you cry, weirdo,” she mumbles, unsure of what to do with a crying head counselor. Her calloused hands rub small circles into your back, and she can’t help but think you need more girlfriends your age. Scooting closer to you, she says, “What I meant was that you were way cooler when you didn’t give a shit about what people think about you, much less Luke Castellan. You’re starting to sound like you’re from 10, and I swear Sil is the only tolerable person from that cabin. Stop crying, please…”

You sniff, “Ugh… This is so dumb. Just lost myself for a second.” The statement rings true, and it bothers you more than you thought it would. There is so much more to you than playing the part of the agreeable girlfriend, the caretaker, the perfect daughter, that if you stared at yourself in the mirror you might not recognize who’s staring back. So many parts to play, and so little of you left.

“I guess, what I’m trying to say is,” Clarisse sighs, “and I’m no good at this feelings shit, but I think you need to remember that you’re allowed to be someone without him…without all of this. And you owe it to yourself to find out who that is.” You look up at her with watery eyes, tucking hair behind your ear as if it’ll help you absorb her words better. 

You can’t believe you’re getting sound advice from a thirteen-year-old, much less a child of Ares on matters of love. 

“It’s nice to be needed,” you mumble, “my greatest honor, I think. But it might also be my downfall.” 

Clarisse smiles crookedly like she’s watching you through a fresh set of eyes. There’ll be no words of this conversation once you leave the arena—the both of you have a friendship unlike most girls here at camp. Never touchy-feely, typical girl talk, but always what you need to hear. 

“How terrifyingly human of you. Yuck.”

“I can’t go on like this,” you groan, slumping further into your folded-over position and she sighs, going to take a sip from her water bottle before squeezing your shoulder.

“That’s what you think.”

[ you took a star to bed, woke up with me instеad || you must have felt so damn decеived when you made up a version of me that you thought you loved || but I am not your Aphrodite ]

When you were fifteen years old and he was just a month shy of it, you had somehow convinced Luke Castellan to run away from camp with you. 

This was back then. Just for a day—just for the tiniest taste of freedom. 

Luke had been at camp for almost a year, and Rye Playland sounded so much cooler than food service with the nymphs—which is one of the few things he would agree with you on. The both of you had kitchen duty for two weeks after getting caught attacking each other during Capture the Flag despite being on the same team, and it ended up with you ripping the fabric off the stick and chucking it into the middle of Canoe Lake. He’s lucky you didn’t lunge for his head, but the game was forfeit, and cabin 6 didn’t talk to you two for weeks because you threw the game. Including Annie, which was a surprising feat in itself.

After that day, you swore to never do anything Luke made himself in charge of and Chiron swore you two would never be on the same team again. You could remember D’s voice that day and how it boomed through the Big House, reminiscent of his father—a crackle of fury and impalpable seriousness that had Luke shaking slack-jawed in the chairs facing the mahogany desk. He’d never been told off by a parent before, much less an Olympian.

Taking it in stride even as the god threatened to turn you both into dolphins, you mimed the conversation when your father’s back turned, copying the odd quirk in D’s brow and conjuring a mouthful of grapes for teeth. You grinned at the son of Hermes like an idiot, a singular ripe sphere shooting out to make an audible thwack against D’s red Hawaiian shirt that made Luke laugh the loudest, ugliest guffaw you’ve ever heard him let out. He choked on his spit when the god jerked his head back to face the both of you like a comic-book villain.

Honestly, he might’ve peed himself a little. Just a tiny bit.

And the god of insanity himself was at his wits’ end—which is rare for him, very few things can get him to that point. Even less so with people. Pathetic, puny, little people he can drive to madness and violent death. 

But not his baby girl—you know every last nerve to step on, a lot like your mother sure, but still all him in every way it mattered. He loved it, even when he was mad at you like this. He just wasn’t good at showing it, and you knew that to some extent. Plus, you can’t take a man in a Hawaiian shirt seriously, much less a god.

So you and your self-proclaimed archnemesis (frenemy, Luke insists) find yourselves running down Farm Road before first light, leaving nothing but a trail of dust behind you as you rush to catch the LIRR at a stop two towns over.

It was a small amusement park filled with different money-grabbing oddities, tooth-rotting confections, and rickety, squeaking rides that the conductors could fold into suitcases at the end of the day.

Sketchy, but so much fun. You made Luke go on all the kiddie rides with you and screamed your head off like a lunatic; he apologized to the parents of a toddler and said you had too much sugar—but that was a lie, this was all you in your natural state. Berry chapstick, wind-tousled hair, and a smile brighter than a spotlight. And your laughter, oh, your laughter shook the walls of the funhouse even after you crashed into the fifth mirror being too busy poking fun at the wonder in Luke’s eyes because it was the first time he’s genuinely done something for fun and not out of necessity. It was nice, and so were you, for once.

It was the first time you’d let your guard down for him, he thinks back—watching you toss a ball so badly off target from milk bottles set across the booth. You twisted in his grasp (he doesn’t remember getting so close, Luke still swears he was trying to help you aim) pouting at him with those pretty plum eyes and he sighed so deeply you smelled the cotton candy on his breath. For a moment you wondered if he tasted like it too—and then the worker asked if you’ll be trying again and you went, “Hmm? Maybe he’d be better at it!”

Luke rigged the shot with the snap of his finger, all the milk bottles falling to the ground with a crash and he swore on his life he’d sell out every single one of these stupid games if it gets you to bite your lip at him like that again.

There isn’t a single hint of regret that passed that entire day—you were already in trouble, so you both figured that you might as well enjoy it. By late afternoon, your legs felt like jelly and it felt less like you dragging him around the fairgrounds and more like holding onto him for support (because there’d be no other reason you’d want to hold his hand, your stomach just felt funny…that’s all!) Luke was wolfing down a funnel cake, the powdered sugar dust getting all over his shirt and he looked up to see you staring at him with a shit-eating grin.

Hand pointed in the air, Luke simply shakes his head.

“Fuck no.”

But you always had a way of convincing him to do things (Luke is a sucker susceptible to double dog dares) and the both of you are surprised he let you because sooner rather than later, you’re sat knee to knee in a tiny, screeching Ferris wheel cart that inched 100 feet into the sky. The white paint was peeling at his fingertips and the air was warm—Luke tried to focus on that instead of the fact that he was in a metal death chamber in the sky.

“Never imagined a son of Hermes would be scared of heights,” you grinned, nudging him with your foot. You’ve folded into yourself, hugging your knees as you looked at him and he thought that he might be having a heart attack at the ripe age of fourteen and three-quarters. But the pink and purple rays of the waning sun framed you so nicely that he wished he brought a camera—he had the silly photobooth strips from earlier tucked into his pocket, but you looking like that; Luke had etched it into his memory for safekeeping. Not only was he able to breathe a bit easier, but if there was a memory he could materialize from today—it’d be you grinning maniacally through the bars of the cart, pointing at the city in the distance. 

“We’ve finally found something you’re not good at, golden boy,” you grinned, tilting your head to the side and inspecting him like he was a sad hamster in a glass ball.

“M’not scared of heights, I'm just scared of falling,” he reasoned, looking at the rusted floor. You were making your boots dance along to the beat of the fair music, tapping along to the cyclical rhythm. He was more scared of the lack of control he had at this moment—any of the other crazy rides, Luke had stood at the tiny gate next to the conductor holding the plush avocado he won for you, watching and hearing you scream for joy as the machines flung you into the air. The ones he did go on were relatively tamer, and by the third kiddie coaster, he realized that you probably whooped for joy just to make him feel better.

You kissed him on the cheek that day, so close to his mouth (but not close enough) when the Ferris wheel ultimately screeched to a stop. A necessary distraction, you said—but you weren’t sure for who. He tasted sugar-sweet and smelled like the late summer sun. You had never kissed a boy before, unsure if you’d even know how, or if Luke would even want to if you did.

The thought passed when you realized his fingers were clenched and white-tipped onto the guardrails and you…you’re terrible, so you started rocking back and forth, giggling until he yelled at you to stop, pulling you into his lap. 

The conductor thought you two were doing something way less innocent, and you both got kicked out of Rye Playland afterward—but you got your money’s worth.

Well, you both snuck in and Luke definitely pickpocketed someone’s mom.

All in all, it was a great day.

You fell asleep on his shoulder on the way back home, the Long Island Railroad car chilly with the AC. Watching you drool, he thought he might even like traveling again if it’s for fun like this, might even hate his dad less too. Luke threw his whole dinner into the hearth that night with a bright smile on his face even after Mr. D yelled at the both of you in front of everyone at the dining pavilion. After all, the only factor in his life that’s changed in the past year, an addition, if you must— was you.

[ you took me for a fool, you stole my youth, you wanted this so much || you watched me rise then killed my light || and now you know I'm not your fucking goddess ||  oh, i'm no goddess when i'm alone ]

Work is work.

That’s what you’ve both been telling yourselves throughout an already rough week gone even worse, but trying to avoid your significant other is an especially difficult task when you work together. 

It’s the simple truth—you can’t ignore someone you have to talk to primarily because of these two factors: 1. Capture the Flag teams need to be sorted by Thursday mornings to be ready to play on Friday afternoons, and 2. it is weird for campers to see you two not interacting with each other.

Well, it’s Friday now, and you and Luke haven’t talked since that argument in the barn. 

Kind of, but the times you have didn’t count—the past few days have been both of you talking around other people; not directly to each other. Last night at dinner, Chris stared at you like one does when their parents are thinking of getting a divorce, eyes flickering between you two and his cheeseburger. Luke was sitting next to you on the bench blankly picking the tomatoes off his sandwich and you were staring glumly at your slice of pizza.

“Is there something going on between you two?”

He was one of the few brave enough to be blunt about it. You and Luke were all-consuming, like a black hole. It’s hard for others not to notice the gravitational pull, but when it’s bad…. everyone and everything gets sucked in, whether they like it or not. 

“Lee was excited to hear that your cabin is teaming up with them tomorrow. It’ll be quite interesting, all of you with 7 and 9,” you said, wiping grease off the slice with a napkin. Luke’s head jerked in your direction at your words, “Dude what—Chris! I thought I signed off on working with 6? We don’t work with Apollo for a reason,” he hissed, leaning over the table towards his brother. Chris scratched the back of his neck, knowing Luke was right. Cabin 7 isn’t that good in all matters that involve stealth—the last time they worked with them, Austin was scatting under his breath and it got them ambushed by the red team. Opening his mouth to speak, you quickly interjected, “Well it’s about time to change it up—keeps things exciting, don’t you think, Chris?”

Luke sighed, redirecting his brother’s focus to him, “What do you think, man? I just think when it comes to battle strategies we should stick to what works.” Chris swallowed, raising his hand in the air; he was grappling at the edge of a cliff just trying to hold on to either of you—he looked around to see if there was a way out of this. Next to him, Ethan averted his eyes and played with his carrot sticks.

“Funny how that works for battle strategies and not other things,” you hummed around a mouthful of pizza, “Don’t you think, Chris? I just think that you never want to be predictable in these things. It makes everything boring. Or so I’ve heard,” you munched thoughtfully, daring the son of Hermes to break eye contact with you as Luke scoffed, tossing his napkin onto his plate before standing up. He walked off without a second glance, throwing everything into the hearth—plastic tray included, and stormed off toward the cabins. The rest of the table minded their business, shoveling food into their mouths. Chris choked on a french fry.

And you smirked, satisfied at the small win. 

But now, almost a day later tramping through the sodden dirt of the North Woods in heavy body armor, you remind yourself that it is so very hard to prove a point to Luke Castellan. He finds you halfway through the game as you hold onto the red flag post, standing tall at the vantage point and looking like a stone grotesque protecting the area you’re surveying. By the time you notice, a blur of cobalt whizzes towards you—knocking out the three Ares kids standing guard around the perimeter. You gasp, raising a hand sending vines hurtling toward the air until you see him hanging upside down by the ankles, wrapped in green leaves and purple bunches of grapes. Luke’s headwear falls to the earth with a clang.

“I’m not here for the flag!”

You rush over, dropping the pole and sighing, “Luke…you scared me! I thought you were with Beck today.” The blood rushes to his head as he looks at you all out of focus. Seeing you the other way around gives him a new perspective on things—the epiphany almost makes him ache, but that might also be the pressure pooling in his forehead. You brush your thumb against his cheek before letting him down slowly, and all he does is look at you.

“We need to talk.”

“Like, actually this time?” you mumble, hugging yourself as you watch the vines unravel from his limbs and sink back into the ground. You’ve always been a good actress and Luke was the best liar around—this shared penchant for fabricating the truth used to make you one and the same.

It is more obvious now that actors and liars are wholly different; actors live in an imaginary world given to them, while liars strive to create it for themselves. There’s that saying—don’t hate the player, hate the game.

Luke finds that he’s starting to hate all of it.

“Yeah,” he mutters, “we can’t keep ignoring this, Trouble.” It takes a special kind of sadness to feel lonely even when you’re with someone. You bite the inside of your cheek, feeling your spirit sink into the ground below you, almost resigning yourself to what will happen next. All the petty backtalk, the times you’ve crawled into bed with him already pretending to be asleep— it all comes down to this. There’s this French word that Annie had taught you a few days ago when you spent extra time snuggled up in her bunk, partially to catch up with your favorite girl and partially… to waste more time before going home to him. 

Énouement—-The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future and seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.

“Luke…” you start, watching him sheath Backbiter with a casual flick of his hand, “Would you go back if you could? Before…” Barely able to string your words together, he notices your lip quivering, “Did you like me more back then?”

“Baby…” he sighs, going to wrap his arms around you and you hold onto him in return at arm's length.

“I’m really trying…” you choke out, pressing your lips to hold in the onslaught of things you want to say. To understand? To apologize? The words die out on your tongue.

“I know. You’re always trying, Trouble. That might just be the saddest part.”

Wind whirls through your hair, pushing you against him for shelter as you gather your thoughts. In the silence of the woods, you wonder how many moments you’ve spent drawn to him like this for comfort. Luke’s always there for you, whether you like it or not. For better or worse—you wonder if there won’t be a lot of chances to hold and be held, and you can’t seem to let go.

“I didn’t change, okay? I’m still me. People don’t change, just like the gods don’t. I just don’t see us away from this,” you swallow, tracing a finger over his bicep to distract your burning eyes, “we can’t escape who we are Luke. Me and you. Isn’t that enough for now?”

He lets out a sigh and you know his answer; his shoulders sink low enough that your hold on him loosens ever so slightly. At this rate, you think it’d be easier if he’d just pull the trigger—maybe it would hurt less than this.

“I’ll change the gods’ minds and make them agree. They’ll know us, babe. The glory—”

Everything around you blurs as you hone in on your anger. This whole forest could go up in flames and you wouldn’t give a damn,”Oh FUCK glory! Just love me and that’s enough! Why can’t that be enough? Why can’t you stop running from me for once, Luke!” Your plea comes out like a wail and you push him away, feeling disgusted by what’s come of this conversation. You were never a beggar—the only thing left to do was kneel in the dirt and beg him not to break up with you. Before you can think of the irrational thought any further he shakes his head, almost growling, “How do you still not get it? It’s because I love you is why I can’t.”

“Listen, I love you too, babe. I just…don’t know if I like you right now.”

That’s not fair. He’s sacrificing the entire trajectory of his life and you can’t figure out if you like him? You don’t know the lengths he would go to, can’t fathom the obstacles he would conquer just to make sure that you and him have it all. And you’re not even trying to see it his way—to even imagine that he could make it possible.

Things couldn’t stay the same forever, that you could both agree on.

“You’re all talk, you know that, Trouble? You’re just mad that I want this life more than you. And you know I’d actually do what I need to do to get it. Would you?” he nudges you roughly, “Talk to me! This is your time to get it all out of your system. Say that I wouldn’t do anything for you. You know I would.” Fat tears are rolling down your cheeks; he hates watching you cry. It’s the whole reason he signed away his soul—he wants the world you live in to be a place where gods bow down to you and dry your tears, not cause them. Luke would topple Olympus in an instant if it meant you wouldn’t look at him like he’s a lost cause.

“That’s not fair, you haven’t even answered a single question I’ve asked you. It’s like you’re not even listening to me, Lu—”

“Not fair?”

Groaning, you turn away from him. The flag post you dropped earlier is long gone now—the game is still on and the world keeps spinning whether you like it or not. But you’re disinterested in all that now.

“Do you even hear yourself? To you, I’m still the girl on the Ferris wheel,” you sniff, wiping your nose with your sleeve. His hands squeeze your shoulders, begging, pleading for you to understand, “Is that a bad thing? You tell me you haven’t changed—I’m protecting her because you won’t. I’m getting her the hell out of here because I know she deserves more than this. Look around you,” he whispers your name against your neck, “We could forget all of this.” 

But that’s just not who you are. Your shoulders tremble as you hold them up under the pressure. Sure you could see what he’s saying—there isn’t a single future you can imagine without Luke in it. The house, the kids…but more than that you just want to belong somewhere. And Camp Half-Blood is where you belong. With him. 

“I don’t want everything, Luke. I just want you. And if you don’t want this, I need you to tell me now. Because I’m tired,” you warble, digging your nails into your palms, “ and I’m sick of this game. I feel like neither of us are winning.” You take a step back to look at him—sunlight filtering through his hair, eyes wistful and contemplative.

“Maybe we should take a break.”

And there it is. He’s already made his decision, whether he admits it or not. A horn blares overhead, followed by the sounds of cheering. You don’t know who won, and you don’t really give a shit if we’re being real right now. 

“Does it even matter?”

There’s a frozen look on your face like you’ve been struck by lightning, half between a crooked smile and subtle surprise. It’s a knowing look, Luke thinks, what he can see of you through half-lidded lashes and grief. He thinks years from now, if he even makes it that far, it’ll all come back to this moment in the North Woods, and you, the girl he was in love with at nineteen.

“It’s not even worth it now I guess,” he whispers. It makes you laugh—even your laughter sounds sad now. 

It seems that even breaking up with you is an inconvenience.

You sniff, wiping your face and looking around. Everyone’s gone already and Chiron will be looking for you two soon, “Then it’s not worth it. Because you say so… and we’ve got work to do.” Your watch beeps. 

Dinner service starts soon, but before you both head over to the pavilion, you and Luke are expected to set up the bonfire. He nods, loosening the straps of his chestplate, just something to do with his hands, “I know.”

“I don’t want to go. I’m not ready to leave this all behind yet. I’m still needed here.” Until your coming of age ceremony. Until your heart calls you elsewhere and your family can stand on their feet. 

Until then.

Somewhere, you hear Annabeth calling out to you, the melody of both of your names traveling through the trees. You and Luke turn your heads in that direction, before looking at each other once more. He licks his lips, “I know that. We should get back to it, then.” There’s no use doing this all alone, he thinks. And there’s a part of you that thinks there is no use for you when you’re alone.

“We should.”

Neither of you move. 

The winter solstice is tomorrow and there is much work left for the both of you to do.

—

I don’t understand how he grows colder from the same love that warms me. I didn’t know we loved differently—him partly, less and less, and I entirely. - JNH / @shatteredjuvenileday

[typewritingyip]

The Arcturus Missions

Part Twenty Three - Worrying the Medic

Part Twenty Two

———

Most mech suits were initially designed to have remote pilots, to not have a human being in the cockpit of the suit, hoping effectively for a drone. Clearly, that was not successful and the first countries to get functioning suits were ones who did not initially plan for that. Several other countries attempted that as their main strategy and in turn were delayed by the lack of progress. 

Those suits went on to help with modern design for perception and maneuverability for the use of pilots. 

Now, because of those designs most pilots have a widened visual perception, easier maneuverability, and enhanced UI. Unfortunately the new connections leave the pilots with the feeling of body dysmorphia. Both from the physical connection to the suit through their implants but also the visual, audial, and mental connection.

Scientists are still currently studying the effects of this on pilots, it is not currently in consideration to reduce the enhancements back to previous renditions for safety reasons, but new options are being considered for the sake of the pilots.

It’s unknown what this would do to pilots that have the ability to retire since the new generation of suits came about. 

—

Cosmic rust was not taken lightly among Cybertronian’s. Whenever it was mentioned around Hound or Breakdown it would remind them of the diseases that would run rampant through military units, but this was a lot worse than the flu. It was spoken about in revenant tones, more akin to cancer. 

Hound’s skin crawled and his implants burned. 

Megatron was the first one up and stepping lightly away, “Alright, we know what the regulation states. Medic smells or sees rust then everyone gets checked. Knockout?” With a deep sigh, Knockout nods, “Of course, so, whose first?” Hound glances up and that was the wrong thing to do, “I see I’ve got a volunteer.” He gestures and starts to walk away.

At first, Hound stayed put before Mirage gave him a look, “He meant you Hound.” Sighing slowly, Hound pushed off the bench and started to follow the medic. Even back on Earth he hated going to the medic let alone a doctor. 

Ducking slightly at the doorway, Hound moved into the medical tent, “You’re going to have to tell me if whatever I do is uncomfortable or dangerous Hound, I can’t read a person's visor, I’ve never been able to.” Nodding slightly, Hound moves and sits on one of the medical slabs, “Neither can I, Doc.” Knockout pauses and cracks a bit of a smile, “No one calls me doc anymore, they haven’t since the end of the war.” Hound tried not to smile, nodding a bit.

”And what do you mean, neither can you? Every single one of your kind, at least that I’ve met, has visors.” Hound chuckles lightly and shifts a bit, “Call it a feeling, we can tell in other ways how someone is feeling.” Nodding a bit, Knockout turns back around with a swab and dish, “Like an EM field, except you don’t have those either.” “Can’t say we do.” Knockout chuckles as he started to swab plating, frowning a bit after trying to get a seam.

Hound tries not to kick his feet, tries to sit still but it felt like he was back in the physical he had to take before the mission.

—

The room was white, not grey or blue but white except for the almost checkered floor. It looked like any normal doctors office but how could you call a doctors office one building over from where giant mech suits were stored normal. 

Hound shifted on the examination table, wearing his working uniform, after all he was just on loan to MECHA from the army, as much as he might like it here. 

Boots were shuffling through the hall and there were plenty of people talking outside, slowly he leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes for a moment. What he wouldn’t give to be back in his suit, it had been almost a month since it went in for the upgrades it would need for the Arcturus mission and pilot 2162 was covering his region. She was a fantastic pilot and doing her job well but he’d be more comfortable handling his region.

Then again, space wasn’t exactly his region and that’s where he’d be in a few months time. Sighing, he opened his eyes when there was a knock, “Come in.” The door opened and an older man came in, clipboard in hand and white coat swaying, “Oh thank god.” Hound sighed a bit and Ratchet looked up, rolling his eyes, “Third time I heard that today. Has Shockwave really gotten so bad you’d rather have my medical advice over his?” “Yes.” Ratchet rolled his eyes again.

Although Ratchet was a bio-engineer by trade, he did get his nursing degree before that, which was better than Shockwave and his medical school to any pilot. 

“Alright, well, your chart looks good and your vitals are typical.” It was hard to define anything about a pilot with the quantifiable normal anymore, “Everything else is consistent, I understand they have taken you off your SSRI and ambien?” Nodding a bit, Hound shifts, “Yes sir.” Ratchet hummed and tapped his pen against the clipboard.

Shifting a bit, Hound clears his throat, “I’m feeling fine and sleeping well, my side effects have been limited.” Ratchet hummed again before pulling up the stool and sitting down, grabbing Hound’s wrist for a pulse reading, “Yet, your resting rate is high.” Hound couldn’t help but chuckle, “Yes sir.” Barely sparing him a scowl, Ratchet grabbed the ear and throat light.

They went through the motions, Hound responding to statements or answering questions and Ratchet kept referring back to the clipboard, scowling deeply before rolling backwards to look at Hound square on, “Why do you want to go to space Hound? Hmm?” Hound chuckled slightly, “What do you mean?” With a glare, Hound held his hands up.

Sighing, Hound shifts and fixes his shirt sleeve, “I want to end this damn war Ratchet, I mean look at me. Look at all the pilots, what we go through, what we put our bodies through. The sooner it's over the sooner we stop getting put through the blender.” Ratchet’s gaze softened, “Hound,” “I’m serious Ratchet, this shit isn’t removable and we’re pilots till we die or move up, most of us don’t want to move up.” Ratchet gave him a look and Hound sighed.

“Don’t you think I of all people know that the technology isn’t removable?” Nodding, Hound runs a hand through his hair, “Ratchet, the list of pilots grows every day and there is a longer list of dead ones than active ones.” They hardly could look at each other, but Ratchet sighs, “I don’t want to see your name on the longer list Hound.” Cracking a smile, Hound shrugs a bit, “Come on Ratchet, don’t you have some faith in me?” “In you, yes. In those lambo twins? Never.” Hound laughed.

The room shifted a bit, turning from bright to nearly dull, ”Now, can you shift your weight to the other side for me?” Shifting on the table, Hound sighs a bit, “Sure Ratchet.” Everything was coming back into focus now, no longer was the same doctor's office on Earth but an oversized medical tent. 

“My name isn’t Ratchet,” “What?” Hound glances up and nearly startles at the sight of Knockout. Glancing around he cut the microphone to swear before turning it back on and clearing his throat, “Sorry, Knockout. Uh, Ratchet was my medic back on Earth. Has been since I became a pilot.” He nodded a bit awkwardly.

Humming, Knockout lifts up his tablet, “I’ll mark him down as your primary care then Even if he’s thirty lightyears from Cybertron.” Hound chuckled weakly and adjusted in his seat, shifting on the slab just enough, Knockout looks up, “Alright, base plating shows nothing, mind if I check the under plating?” It took a moment before Hound tilted his head slightly, “I’m sorry?” Knockout smiled, his smile even when kind was wicked looking.

He turned the tablet towards Hound, “Your under-plating, from Jazz’s schematic.” TO be fair, it almost looked similar to the blueprints for the suits back on Earth, but missing the cockpit entirely, “Do you mind if I take a look?” Shaking his head a bit, Hound shifted on the seat again, “Uh, no. Go ahead.” He cleared his throat as Knockout went around to the other side of him.

It was harder to not move when Knockout was behind him and prodding him, while pulling at his— at his suits plating. 

“Alright, I’m going to be removing pieces to scan them, is that alright?” Hound shifted a bit, “From back there, yes, you won’t be near anything terribly vital.” Knockout hummed and gently started to pull the plating away with precision only a medic or engineer could have. Hound was still sitting perfectly still, leaned back against the piloting seat.

All of that had been disorientating, just another symptom, another side effect that he now had to deal with. Rolling his shoulder a bit, he sighs before getting the alert to the missing piece of plating, “You got it doc?” Knockout hummed again and activated his scanner.

It was quiet for a minute.

“What in the name of Primus is this?” Hound tried to shift to look but Knockout had moved away from the direct cameras and was holding his plating, gawking at it, “What?” Knockout came around and showed him a piece of his plating, which was stamped with ‘Property of the United States Government’, “I have a translator for written language, why does this proclaim the plating property of your government?” Hound stared at it, the stencil familiar and sprayed on most military machinery.

It was hard to explain why it was sprayed on the inside of his plating, “Uh,” Knockout nodded before storming out of the medical tent, shouting, “Lord Megatron!” And Hound stayed put. 

He was still wracking his brain when both mechs came back in, Megatron was holding the piece of plating and had pretty well crushed it, taking a breath Megatron’s hands were shaking, “Why is this piece of plating attached to you?” Hound slowly sighed and nodded a bit, “It was a repair.” His voice was a little quiet, Megatron’s fist hit the wall, “Don’t you dare lie!” Hound jumped, he couldn’t help it. 

They stayed in silence for a moment, Hound stared at the pair before deflating slightly, “It was a repair, but it’s part of being a pilot. The numbers across our chests, the paint, all of it is for identifying the pilot in the armor.” Megatron nodded slowly, “Armor?” “It’s not removable, not after the testing, but because I was a military pilot it is technically owned by the US government. Same as any materials I needed in the army.” Hound was recording the conversation and sending it to Jazz, it wasn’t the best of stories but he was no writer or actor. 

Megatron moved over slowly, “So, these people own the plating you wear, put you through apparently incredibly painful testing, launched you into space without a way home, and expected you to die for data. Is that all correct?” Knockout leaned in, “They also reek of iron oxide, for a reason I have yet to find.” Hound’s implants itched, “That would be some of our lines, I’ll attend to the repair myself but it’s likely I have a small leak to my internal system.” Megatron threw his hands up before throwing the chunk of Hound’s plating across the room.

Wincing slightly, Hound sighed as Megatron turned back towards him, grasping his shoulders, “This was the other reason I wanted you in this unit, you don’t see your life beyond your so-called purpose and that is infuriating.” Sighing, Megatron pulled away before starting outside, “Mirage, get in here now!” For a second, Hound thought he heard a cube crack.

A second later the room went from being a medical tent to a get together just about, now Megatron, Knockout, and Mirage had joined Hound inside the tent. Sighing, Hound stood and rested his hands on his hips slightly, “What is this, an intervention?” Glancing at each other, Hound nodded slightly before starting out of the tent, “Now that the mystery of the rust is solved I’m going to get my internals to start patching the leak and get some sleep.” And he somehow made it out of there without being grabbed.

They barely had to spare a glance at each other, “Mirage, I want you to keep an eye on Hound.” Megatron’s voice was still rough with anger. Nodding, Mirage watched the mech go back over to where he’d been sitting and slump, turning off his visor, likely for fuel consumption while the internal repairs were happening, “Is he hurt?” He glances over at the two cons, frowning.

Both spare each other a look before Megatron shakes his head and Knockout shrugs, “We don’t know.” Mirage sighs slowly, “And how can he smell like rust if it’s not rust?” Knockout nods a bit and leans against the examination slab, “If what he says is true, it could simply be a mild corrosion of wires that have iron infused in them.” He shrugs weakly.

Mirage stared at where Hound was, before starting back out the medical tent and moving to sit next to the mech. His cube shattered on the ground but he really wasn’t hungry anymore.

Everyone was silent and staring, mostly worried about rust but also worried for Hound, you didn’t get visited by multiple people in medical at Knockout’s request unless you were dying. They were all sparing each other's looks, especially once Megatron and Knockout returned.

Knockout gave one glance around and swore, “It’s all clear you idiots, do you honestly think I’d let him back out here if it wasn’t?” Only a few people relaxed.

—

Bluestreak was sitting alone, the whole shuttle was lined with seats but he was sitting by himself. Maybe it was the big gun that he had leaning against his knee or the fact that most mecha wouldn’t normally be awake at this ungodly hour, while he seemed to have endless energy, but regardless Sunstreaker took the seat to his right with ease. 

Glancing up, Bluestreak’s face lit up with a smile, “Hey.” Sunstreaker smiled a bit and sat back, adjusting in his seat, “Hey yourself.” Then he sent a private comm invite, which Bluestreak joined near instantly, “I’m gonna unplug from the suit, so it’s going to look like I’m asleep but I still wanted to talk.” The visual input from inside his suit was offered to Blue, who also accepted that.

His smile was small and Blue shifted to lean back as Sunstreaker seemingly fell asleep, leaning his helm against Bluestreak’s shoulder. 

It took a second for Sunstreaker to get unplugged from his mech, removing the top part of his assistance suit and helmet before setting down near one of his internal microphones, “Can you hear me Blue?” Trying to hold back a smile, Bluestreak nodded slightly, “Yeah, I can hear you Sunny, I can see you too.” Sunstreaker smiled, “I wasn’t sure if that was going to work or not.” He brushed a hand through his curls, sighing. 

Bluestreak sat silently, waiting for Sunstreaker to get comfortable, trying to keep the smile off his face, “You disconnect cause that overuse stuff going on?” Nodding some, Sunstreaker grabs a container of food, “Yeah, Hound’s orders. It’s just to try and alleviate the symptoms.” Blue hummed and rested his hand lightly on Sunstreaker’s suit, just above the knee, “So, are you going to get some rest?” Shaking his head, Sunstreaker chuckled and opened the makeshift container.

”Nah, I’m gonna eat my lunch and talk to you. Ask about my new boss and all.” Bluestreak tried not to wince, nodding a bit, “Right, Ironhide.” He sighs slowly and Sunstreaker smiles a bit, sipping some very vibrant blue broth which was just shy of being sweet, “He that bad?” Blue bit his lip, “Uh, well, it's not really that he’s bad per say.” He sighed slowly.

Sunstreaker shifted his attention to the screen right below the camera, “But?” Bluestreak groans a bit, “I don’t think it was a coincidence that you were paired with Ironhide and Sideswipe was paired with Elita-One. Even before the last war, they were, let's say, involved with military affairs. Then during it they were Optimus’s best commanders.” Sunstreaker sighs slowly, setting down his food, “It’s because we're civilians, right?” Blue gave a barely audible answer.

Barely glancing at the camera, Sunstreaker got up to pace a bit, “Is he a hard-ass?” Bluestreak chuckled, “I’m sorry?” Sunny smiles a bit, “Is he grumpy?” “Very.” Blue continues to chuckle, rubbing his neck a bit. 

Whistling quietly, Sunstreaker shakes his head, “Damn, they were conspiring, huh?” Bluestreak shrugged a bit before clearing his throat, “Yeah, it would seem that way, but I think you got off better than Sideswipe did.” Sunstreaker glances at the screen, “Really?” Bluestreak hums, “Oh yeah, Elita is a little more rough around the edges especially to mechs over femmes. It’s not a thing but it’s about trust.” Nodding a bit, Sunstreaker hums. 

Blue shifts a bit in his seat, adjusting Sunny on his shoulder, “Sideswipe is going to be fine though, it’ll probably be good for him.” Sunny nods for a moment before shaking his head, “No, he doesn’t take to authority well. So, Ironhide the grumpy hard-ass, so, what do I need to know about him?” Blue smiles and closes his eyes, leaning back, “I don’t even know where to start.” Sunstreaker smiles softly, “Maybe from the beginning?” Blue grinned. 

“Ah well, I guess I could start with the old prime guard stories. Now, I wasn’t around for those. I wouldn’t come online for a few hundred stellar cycles at the very least.” Sunstreaker goes back to eating, smiling and nodding, sometimes it was just nice to be able to talk to someone or listen to someone without having to talk. He’d usually get that with Sideswipe but this was different and it made his smile turned from a nearly forced one to soft. 

———

A/N

So, this was not what I had planned to post today then I got busy, so it is what was done.

That does mean, on Monday, I might not be posting Part 24 but something else… we will see.

Also a bit of Lore stuff cause I posted it in a comment of the last chapter, the implants as we all know are foreign objects to the human body which our pilots bodies are at present trying to reject. So the reaction is slightly autoimmune but they are also dealing with a shock to their n system as they encounter new bacteria on all these new planets they are going to. They have some anti-biotics but nothing is perfect.

Also if you saw what was at the bottom of that comment… ☺️

Tags:

@lunarlei68 @whirlywhirlygig @loop-hole-319 @pixillandjester @alek-the-witch @not-a-moose-in-disguise @goddessofwind8water @neurologicalglitch @dersereblogger @pixel-transformers @mrcrayonofdoom @wireplaces @twilightfreefaller @original-blog-name-2 @devilangel657 @robbin-u @childofprimus @miniartistme @starwold @tea-enthusiasm @valeexpris606 @celticdoggo @bird599 @agentsquirrelsgotrobots @aquaioart @dimencreasatlas @thatwandercat @artdagz @seisha974 @starscreamloverfr @halenhusky309 @leethepiper @cat-cassette @blue-wrens @sirassban @astridkolch @cosmique-oddity @garbageenthusiast @osqindaxend @xervias @azulabutterfly @fryseem @spring-mc @echo-circuit @aghostsnail @wooblewooble @ask-glory-haddock-and-others @nonsscarpheap @magichats @iminahole247 @omgflyingderpywhale @pour1tin @thetrexartist

And once again thank you to @keferon for this amazing AU

[late4the-party]

Many things I want to say, I hope I won't forget anything. I'm not part of any mob. It's just me, one tiny blog that if people had taken the time to look at they'd see how little I post. Please, do take a look at my archive. At the beginning I had made only three posts about TDP. I'm not a blog dedicated to this show. If the first blog that reblogged my post hadn't done that I bet no one would had noticed my words. I didn't want this to blow even more so I had muted that post. I'm still getting notifications, so I guess the muting didn't cover my reblog too. I would like to mute the whole thing now because the more I reply the more it will really look as if I were part of that mob. And I don't have the time nor the interest in making a campaign against the show. I just wanted to speak my mind and that be it. Btw, taking a quick look I saw someone saying that if I don't like the show then just don't watch it. I did take it out of my list after I finished the season. I'm genuinely surprised when I read you saying that there's a mob wanting the cancellation of the show. At Rotten Tomatoes it is rated with a 100% likes. At twitter I just found three comments in Aaron's tweets. And a couple of videos at YouTube. All these expressing their discontent, not promoting cancelation. Maybe that mob is mainly just on Tumblr? If anyone reading knows of a website or an app that helps finding a person's comments on other people's posts on Tumblr, check me. I'm not on the look out for new posts related to the show, throwing hate on those who think different than what I think. I don't do that. I see your point in how my words are contradicting themselves. What I meant was this. If they have material that cannot be covered in say 5 seasons, they need 10. Ok. Go, present your project and leave it there. I don't like when they see their show doing good and then extend it more and more seasons. Stretching the story through filler episodes.

The show premiered in September 2018. That's 6 years, 4 moths ago. For 5 years, 10 months it was going to be 7 seasons long. People has complained about how the story slowed down after season 3. If there hadn't been filler episodes I would had thought "Ok, no biggie, they just didn't plan correctly". But those filler episodes,... it's hard not to think that they are trying to stretch the story as much as possible to get as many seasons approved as possible. To gain as much as possible. Filler episodes don't contribute to the development of the story. They build nothing or very little. Now, how to stretch the story and not get the fans bored? That's what I was talking about when I first wrote about them just giving us cute moments with our favorite ships. It's no secret Netflix in general only approves 3 seasons. They approve more only if a show is doing incredibly well. There have been many shows that even after ending in a cliffhanger they didn't get approved. This is no secret. Aaron cannot claim ignorance on this. They could had ended the story in season 7 as they had originally planned. They could had chosen not to slow the pace. They took the risk of not getting renewed. With that tweet Aaron is trying to get the fandom to pressure Netflix into approving more. Sorry but he do is manipulating the fans here. I think it's so clear I don't understand how people are choosing not to see this. About what you wrote about offering criticism. I did write a previous post mentioning some points about season 7. Previous seasons to that I didn't have the blog to write them on. In this previous post there's something that will be contradictory big time: Among other things I wrote how the show deserved a better planned ending or end it with a movie. At that point I didn't know Aaron wanted that 3rd arc. Someone's comment on my post made me aware of it. I checked his twitter and saw that message from him. My head went through all those thoughts that I explained after the Facebook screenshot. I got mad at him. Again, he could had chosen to stick to his original 7 seasons plan. (Sorry to be repetitive) If every episode had been loaded with things that were really building the story then I wouldn't had gotten mad. It would had been bad planning. I cannot see how this is not greed from his part. That's what changed my mind from "come on, at least one movie to give us closure", to "no, no green light so other show creators don't start doing the same". As I mentioned in my first post, this is not the first show to do this. There is one other who has been using this same technique. It is frustrating seeing a show starts being so good and then slowly turn into this. "What? Did I say 3 seasons? No I meant 7." Then on season 6 "Did I say 7? I meant 10". The story is affected by this stretching but most of the fandom are so obsessed they don't see that. They don't care. It's frustrating seeing this. Do you really think ATLA would had been as epic as it was if that same story had been dragged for 10 seasons? That's what I'm against of. That's my reasoning. @lawchan89 I never wrote that they don't deserve to have jobs. Don't change my words please. I agree that there is a lot of unhealthy toxic behavior is going on in social media. Believe me when I say part of me wishes there were no social media at all. Or at least that creators didn't listen to it. On one hand because there are some who have altered their stories just to do fan service. On the other hand because all that fanatism is what fuels this never ending series. "The fans are loving it! See how you can stretch the story!" I did say I didn't like season 7. And as I said before I had muted the notifications. (didn't know I also needed to mute my reblog or I wouldn't had seen both of your comments) I did remove the show from my list. I seriously think a future trailer could make me want to retake the series. There's a chance this will start more reblogs from other ppl. I don't want to keep this soup cooking any longer. So I may need to mute this too.

Thanks for reading.

It is normal to develop some emotional attachment to fictional characters in a TV show or a book. It is not nice of him to use that attachment to keep his show going, to keep making profits.

This is not the first time a show creator does this. They add beautiful moments with the couples that we love to keep us obsessed and asking for more. And there we go falling for this manipulative trick. I’m so glad I found that tweet by Alexandria. Be conscious of this people and have a little bit of pride in yourselves. Don’t let them use you to keep making more money.

Seven seasons was more than enough to develop a great story with a satisfying ending. I’m sorry but I hope Netflix won’t greenlight more. Creators and producers need to stop doing this.

[crowsofdarkness]

Soldat: Chapter Three

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Agent! Reader. Slight Steve Rogers x Female Agent! Reader

Content Warnings: language, 18 + implied smut, angst, fluff, kidnapping, violence.

Summary: Agent Y/N has worked alongside Steve Rogers at SHIELD for some time all while keeping a dark secret from everyone. Until one day that darkness faces her head on and she's forced to make a choice. Continue fighting along side Captain America? Or find her home once again with Soldat?

Authors Note: This was originally published on my old blog as a trilogy so I will be in the slow process of adding it to this blog. This is the first of the trilogy and will take place during The Winter Soldier. If anyone is interested in being tagged, let me know!

Tags: @globetrotter28 @sakuracyberhex @chinggay85-blog @bookofriverr @misatxox

Soldat Masterlist

The bickering had reached a whole new level of annoyance. Natasha wanted to jump right into the fight; for Nick. Steve wanted to think about a plan of action first. He hated not having a plan. And Steve’s new friend, Sam, was fine with whatever we decided; he was happy to help in whatever way we needed. I, however, did not want to do anything. I sat at the table in Sam’s kitchen with the rest of them, chipping away at my nail polish, trying to drown out their voices knowing they would try to make me choose a side. 

It had been one hell of a 48 hours. After Steve and I barely managed to escape Shield Headquarters, Natasha, and I found what was on the hard drive Nick left Steve; a location in New Jersey. Come to find out it was where Steve was trained for the war; pre serum. And what we found there was something that still wasn’t sitting well with any of us. 

Hydra had infiltrated Shield years ago thanks to Dr. Zola and had been creating weapons that could be used to eliminate millions of people all over the world. We had also found out who had killed Nick, granted I knew before any of them but decided not to tell them. 

The Winter Soldier. 

Once Shield had found us in New Jersey and after dropping a bomb on us literally, we made it back to D.C and were currently hiding out in Sam’s house. I was tired, hungry, and desperately needed a shower however everyone was bickering about what our next plan of action needed to be.  

I continued to remain silent, hoping that Steve could make the decision without me. I had seen a lot of shit during my years on Swat and in the FBI. I also faced a lot of scary things but nothing scared me more than the Winter Soldier and I was not about to tell my team why.

“Y/N?”

“Hmm?” I reluctantly looked away from my fingers and rested my eyes on Steve’s face. 

The bags under his eyes were heavy and his shoulders were heavily weighed with the guilt of everything happening. We both needed to rest before we did anything drastic. 

“What do you think we should do?” He questioned. 

They waited patiently for my answer, causing me to groan.

“Please don’t make me choose,” I begged while pushing away from the table, “I need some time alone.”

Ignoring their stares, I walked down towards one of the spare bedrooms Sam allowed us to stay in and fell onto the bed with a large groan. My body started feeling heavy, darkness starting to engulf me in sleep, and I almost succumbed when voices in my mind awoke me with a start. 

Soldat? What are you doing here?

You need to leave now. 

No, I’m not leaving you. I lo-

“Y/N?” 

Raising from the bed, I leaned back on my elbows and gave Steve a weak smile. He was leaning against the door frame, the muscles in his arms tensing as he crossed them over his chest. 

“Are you alright?” He asked. 

“Yeah. I’m sorry for snapping earlier. I haven’t slept in over 21 hours and my body feels like it’s been thrown through the ringer. I need a massage and a hot shower,” I admitted while rubbing my shoulder. 

Steve nodded towards the bathroom that was attached to the bedroom. “I was about to shower. You can go ahead.” 

Sucking in my bottom lip between my teeth, I took in his appearance, suddenly wishing I could see him underneath the stream of water. He was only wearing his jeans with a white tank top and I fought the urge to suggest that we should shower together. 

“Or you could join me. Save water, ya know?” 

Fuck. 

Steve’s eyes widened at the request and coughed, trying to hide the arousal that pooled in his stomach. “I’ll just use the shower in Sam’s room.” 

My cheeks burned in embarrassment when Steve turned me down and I simply  nodded before dragging my feet towards the bathroom.

 “Sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.” I mumbled. 

“Y/N-”

Steve’s voice called as I slammed the door shut behind me. A twinge of guilt pulled at my heart for snapping at him but I was embarrassed that I had even suggested that in front of him with everything going on. I should have been worrying about what our next steps were going to be, not having shower sex with Steve

Groaning out in pleasure, I let the hot water cascade down my body, the dirt and sweat rinsing away with ease. Not wanting to be rude and use up all of the hot water, I stepped out a few minutes later wrapping a towel tightly around my chest. 

“Y/N?” A soft knock sounded on the other side of the door. 

Natasha. 

“Yeah?” I called back. 

“There’s some fresh clothes for you on the bed. Sam said an ex of his left a bunch of her clothes here so they’re fair game.” 

Even though I couldn’t see her, I knew Nat had a smug smile on her face. 

“Thank you, I’ll be out in a minute.” I giggled. 

Once I knew I was alone again, I used my fingers as a comb to untangle the knots out of my hair before leaving the bathroom, shutting the light off behind me. My feet padded against the carpet but came to a halt when I saw the figure walk through the door, a towel wrapped tightly to his waist. 

Steve jumped a bit when he saw me, not realizing I was out of the shower yet. 

“Sorry! Nat said she had some clothes for me in here,” He apologized. 

“Of fucking course she did,” I scoffed. 

Silence fell between us as we both stared at each other. Steve’s hair was pretty damp still, water running down his broad chest, and I had to lock my feet into place to stop myself from running over to him, licking up the little drops of water. The sexual tension between us was getting thicker each second that passed and Steve had to discreetly adjust himself under his towel .

“Did the shower help?” His voice came out raw and husky. 

Licking my lips, I shook my head. “I still think I could have used some help.” 

Steve’s body went rigid and slowly nodded. “Sorry.” 

“Next time,” I jokingly suggested. 

“Definitely.” 

Steve’s eyes went dark with lust as they grazed over my exposed skin, as if taking a mental picture for himself. Feeling the desire pool between my legs, I pointed behind me. 

“I’m going to get dressed in the bathroom. Feel free to use the bedroom.” 

Grabbing the black leggings and the maroon tank top, I scurried into the bathroom, Steve’s burning gaze on my back. Once alone, I let out a few strong breaths to steady myself. 

I wasn’t sure what had come over Steve but whatever it was, I wanted to find out if it were his true feelings or just being caught practically naked that caused it. Biting my lip, I opted out of the leggings, deciding to just wear the tank top and underwear and after tousling my hair a bit, I walked back out into the bedroom, hoping Steve would still be there. 

He wasn’t. 

Letting out a disappointing breath, I pulled back the sheets of the bed, suddenly wanting nothing more than to take a six hour nap. I was about to crawl underneath when the door opened, Steve returning wearing nothing but sweatpants that hung dangerously low on his hips. His hair was brushed back, a few strands falling into his face, and he had a glass of water in one hand. 

He looked like a fucking dream. 

I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion. “I thought you left?”

“I did. To grab some water for you.” Steve placed the water on the bedside table before locking his gaze with mine. 

“Have we decided what the plan is?” I questioned. 

He nodded. “We’ve got a few leads we can follow. Sam suggested we rest up before though. We’re leaving in a few hours.” 

“Okay,” I responded. 

Steve stuffed his hands in his pockets before nodding towards the door. “I’ll come wake you up when we’re ready to go.” 

“Stay,” I breathed. 

He blinked before nodding, not bothering to ask if it was okay. He knew I didn’t mind. 

We crawled underneath the covers together, Steve’s body warmth immediately warming me up without me touching him. I went to turn my back to him but his arms engulfed around me pulling me into his chest. Not fighting it, I rested my head against it, absolutely loving the feeling of having a body pressed against mine. It had been years since I’ve been in bed with anyone and had missed the feeling of it terribly. 

“Is this alright?” Steve questioned. 

“More than alright,” I cooed.

We fell into a comfortable silence and I felt the darkness starting to take over when Steve started running one hand through my hair, the other tracing shapes on my bare thigh. His lips grazed the top of my head and his breath hitched when I placed a leg over his hips. 

“Is this alright?” I mimicked his question, the sleep slowly taking me. 

“Sweetheart, you don’t even have to ask.” Steve groaned. 

“Let me go you asshole!” I screamed pounding on the bars in front of me. 

“Shut up!” The guard spat towards me. 

“You’ve kept me prisoner for days now. I’ve told you before, I don’t know anything!”

“I said shut up!” The guard pointed his gun towards me, immediately shutting me up. 

Biting my lip, I fell against the wall of my cell, a sob escaping the confines of my throat. 

“SOLDAT!You’ve returned. Watch her. I have to take a piss,” The disgusting guard demanded of a man who I hadn’t noticed before. 

The man stepped closer to the slightly dimmed cell and my breath caught in my throat. The light cascaded his metal arm and I scurried farther away from him. 

“I swear I don’t know anything about Zola, please.” I sobbed. 

Soldat turned his head to the side, studying me, his hair falling into his face. He pushed away the strands of hair with his metal fingers before looking around the small cell. Using his metal arm, he ripped the door to the cage open causing me to scream. I crawled away from him but the cool fingers wrapped around my ankle, dragging me over to him. 

Sitting up in bed, I let out a large scream, eyes snapping open as I took in my surroundings. I was in the guest room of Sam’s house, taking a nap with Steve. 

Steve.

Looking to my left, I noticed the empty spot that was no longer warm, meaning Steve had left the bed awhile ago. 

“Y/N?!” 

Steve had busted through the door when he heard my screams and was kneeling in front of me. “What happened?” 

I shook my head, not wanting to get into details. “Nothing. I’m fine.” 

“The hell you are. Your scream woke the damn birds outside.” 

My eyes snapped to the doorway where Sam and Natasha stood, worrying etched over their faces. 

“I said I’m fine.” I reassured and tried to get out of bed before Steve stopped me. 

His hands gripped my hips, keeping me locked in place. 

“What the hell happened?” He asked, “And please don’t lie to me.” 

My heart fluttered at Steve’s worried eyes but I still couldn’t find the words to tell him about my past. 

“Please Steve, I don’t want to talk about it.” I begged. 

“Y/N, he needs to know.” Nat’s soft voice suggested. 

I looked at her dumbfounded but let out a low chuckle. “Of course you know. You’re Natasha-fucking-Romanoff.”

“I’ve known for a while now. I’ve just been waiting for you to tell them,” She admitted with a small frown. 

“Tell us what?” Sam asked. 

“Sweetheart, what are you talking about? I thought there were no secrets between us.” Steve squeezed my thigh. 

“It was something that happened way before I met you or Nat. I never thought to mention it because I didn’t think I would ever run into him again.” I quietly admitted. 

“Who?” Steve placed a finger under my chin forcing me to look at him. 

I clasped my shaking hands together and sighed, trying to find the courage to say his name out loud. 

“The Winter Soldier. Or I knew him as Soldat.” I breathed, “It was years ago, back when I was in the FBI. I was undercover in Russia gaining intelligence on a possible terrorist group run by Dr. Zola when I was kidnapped. Only at the time, I didn’t know what I know now about Zola.” 

Steve squeezed my hands. “How long were you a prisoner with them?”

“I stopped counting the days after ten. For all I know, I could have been held there for six months.” I revealed. 

“You didn’t know his name?” Sam asked, referring to Soldat. 

I shook my head. “No, the men only ever called him Soldat. It took me a while to understand what it meant; soldier.”

“That’s why you froze on the roof?” Steve suddenly started putting the pieces of the puzzle together. “He was the one who kidnapped you.” 

“God, no. He was my savior. He was the reason I escaped,” I assured them, “I don’t think I would be alive if it wasn’t for Soldat.”

Jealousy raged through Steve’s eyes at the mere thought of someone else protecting me, saving me. His grip on my hands tightened and I had to gently brush my fingers across his cheek. His face softened, only for a split second before he rose to his feet, his hands dropping from my hips. 

“He still killed Nick. So he’s not the Soldat you remember,” Steve’s demeanor and voice changed, almost with venom before he nodded towards Sam. “Have you heard from your informant?” 

Sam nodded. “He’ll be leaving lunch in an hour.” 

“Let’s suit up then,” Steve demanded, not bothering to look in my direction as he left me and Nat alone in the room together. 

“Man, jealousy does not look good on him.” She chuckled. 

“Whatever,” I mumbled before dragging my body to the bathroom to get ready for what I didn’t know would be the craziest, fucked up next couple of days. 

[yall-batman-fanfic]

Indiana Quinn! Harley Goes to the Temple of Doom | Bruce Wayne/Batman x OC!Magician

Synopsis: Inspired by the Harley Quinn show, here is a quick adventure where Harley kidnaps Vivian to help her get into a cave that’s believed to have some plant treasure based on a documentary she saw (which Vivian was a guest on). 

Vivian had many encounters with Harley Quinn and the Joker. Mostly as a hostage and being a victim of the man’s Joker Gas, and Batman would always come to save the day. Her relationship with the two clowns were not the best, especially when the latter was responsible for the death of Jason. She still hates him for it, and the fact he’s an evil-worshipping garbage. For Harley, it was complicated.

She remembered being a captive of Harley on one of her first runs as her own woman after breaking up with the Joker. Her whole gig then was to steal some jester jewel in the museum and it so happens, Vivian was the curator that day and she was the biggest hostage that Harley could get for a huge ransom. 

Batman swooped in and saved the day, but Harley got away.

After that, Harley established herself to be some sort of antihero, who the Batfamily would run into or ask for help in certain cases. 

This time… this time, Harley was… her game wasn’t exactly villainous but her way of doing it was concerning.

Vivian woke with a terrible headache. The last she remembers was heading to the cafe to get her afternoon coffee when suddenly the barista revealed to be Harley and WHACK! She was hit at the head with the woman’s mallet. 

“Mornin’, Professor!” Harley greeted her. “Had a nice nap?”

“I had better ones.”

“Sorry if this ain’t some fancy-shamncy bed with silk beddin’s and feather pillows like the one you have at home.”

“We don’t use silk beddings because it’s slippery when — Harley, what is this? Why am I tied up to the bedframe with fluffy cuffs,” she did not want to think how those were used before this “and why is the room moving around — I think I’m going to be sick.”

“First off, we’re on a yacht,” Harley answered. “Second, the cuffs are so you don’t run away. Can’t let you do that.”

Vivian sighed. She could easily get out of this but with her secret on being a witch, she can’t just do that. The best she can do is send a message to Bruce about this as discreetly as she could.

“Listen, this ain’t some villainous trap that I’m doin’, okay? Would you believe me that it’s for love?” 

Silence. One that was so awkward for Vivian that she couldn’t help but fill it in with a question of: “Really?”

“Yes! You see,” Harley held out her phone to show to Vivian. It was the photo of her and Ivy kissing. “It’s my and Ivy’s anniversary and I wanted to get her something really special!” 

“Well, that’s nice to know, and congratulations on your anniversary… but considering this is Poison Ivy we’re talking about… isn’t a botanist a far better person to abduct for whatever you have planned – not that you should be abducting anyone – but I don’t see any connection here at all. I’m a symbologist and a historian! I teach art history to college students!”

“You see,” Harley swiped her phone and showed the video she saved. It was a documentary that Vivian was a part of that discusses the runes of Gaia’s Temple in the Mediterranean Sea. “You said here that there’s this plant life that lives in those temples that dates back to prehistoric times.”

“I didn’t, I said, it was believed that that’s where the first seed of plant life had started, that’s why people built a temple for Gaia in. And that those plants are just about a millennia old” Vivian corrected. “Can you get me out of this so we can talk comfortably?”

“Right, but that’s the thing. There are also other researchers that said that the plants there are so old that it goes back to prehistoric times,” Harley continued. “Now, here’s where you come in. Getting the plant is going to be so easy, the hard part are the things you said at timestamp 21:43.”

She played the video.

Vivian cringed at the sight of herself talking there. She hates watching herself on TV.

It was believed that the temple holds the most sacred relic to life there is. So, a tribe from the Bronze Age created this temple that would keep thieves from taking it. They would set traps and mazes before anyone could get it. And as of today, that island is believed to be the Labyrinth of Daedalus.

“Please don’t tell me this yacht is heading to Greece,” Vivian said.

“WE’RE GOING TO GREECE!” 

~*~

Free from her bounds, Vivian was given some new and “sailing appropriate” clothes by Ivy. As promised, she didn’t put up a fight nor did she try to escape – not that she had a way of escape at all – and just sat there on the poolside with a margarita that was served by one of the henchmen she brought along.

It’s not like this plan was some diabolical one that would destroy the world, and besides, it won’t be long until Bruce finds out where she was and come in to save her. Better to let the Batman do it than her having to make a whole thing with her magic and try to confuse Harley that she doesn’t have magic at all. The woman is a renowned psychiatrist! She’ll figure it out!

“So, how’s marriage?” Harley asked, out of the blue and joined Vivian at the pool benches after her swim. This was a huge yacht. 

“What do you want to know?” Vivian asked, pulling down the dark glasses she wore.

“How does the hubby treat you, does he give you gifts? Do you do all the laundry? How about the kids?”

Removing her glasses, Vivian faced Harley and said, “Bruce is a good man and a good husband too. He gives me gifts but not too often, only when there’s an occasion or when he finds something he knows I’ll like. It’s more than just marriage, it’s really us being good friends too. We’re partners.”

“Just like me and Ivy!” Harley sighed whimsically and laid on the bench. “You know, I thought I had that with Mr. J, but he’s really just a fucking asshole.”

“I know the feeling. I mean, I didn’t have a boyfriend as psychotic as him, but I had bad ones before Bruce. So, it’s nice to find someone who loves you and cherishes you… and while you did kidnap me and gave me a bruise on the head, I can respect what you’re doing for Poison Ivy. But where is Doctor Pamela?”

“Oh, I got her on an errand run. And I told her that I just need to finish something overseas. You know, the usual.”

“So, anniversary, you got something planned other than kidnapping me so we can Indiana Jones this temple for a goddess’ plant of life?” Vivian handed her a mimosa that one of the henchmen gave her. 

“I am so glad you asked! I’ve been wanting to run this through you, considering you’re now married for a long, long time and I need your advice on how to do this right.” Harley jumped from her seat to Vivian’s and they were squished together. “I got this huge thing planned, where we have dinner in the swamp.”

“You don’t mean Swamp Thing’s swamp, right?”

“The very one! You know him?”

“Yeah, I do.” He almost killed her when she and John dropped in his swamp. 

“Right, so, after a very romantic dinner, we’re gonna have a nice dance in the moonlight.”

If there is a moonlight in that swamp at all.

Harley continues, “And then I’m gonna give her my gift and she can finally create her Eden and turn Gotham back to its plant utopia!”

So, it was in the name of love and for Ivy’s plant utopia which meant killing humans and destroying Gotham City. Love and evil. Batman needs to get her out of here. Now. Where is he?

Just as she was thinking of him, the Batjet appeared right on top of the yacht, and from the pod, the big Bat himself descended and took out the henchmen that attacked him and before Harley could do anything, like bring out her red and black bat, or Bruce taking her down, Vivian whispered a spell, not too obvious, that had Harley trip and falling to the pool. 

“Hello, my love,” Vivian greeted Batman with a kiss on the lips.

“You had everything under control?” Batman asked her.

“No, and yes if I wanted Harley to know about my magic, but no. Not really. Listen, just hear her out. Let’s all just sit down and talk about this for now and after that, we can go inside to talk about this.”

Batman wasn’t amused nor does he want to agree but he does and says, “Fine. We’ll hear what she has to say… you look nice.”

“Thanks, Harley picked it out for me.”

Harley resurfaced from the water, coughing, and gasping for air. “What the hell?! What just happened because I was sure I had it.”

“The wind?” Vivian shrugged. “Come on, I convinced Batman that we all sit down and talk about this.”

“But he–”

One look from Vivian and Harley was climbing out of the pool and sitting on the bench, still dripping wet from the pool water. And pouting. Sitting on the bench across her, Vivian gestured for Batman to join them but he only stood between them, ready to listen.

Vivian explained to Batman all that Harley told her, from the abduction and the plan to get the Gaia plant for  Ivy, but for the part where Ivy wants to build Eden in Gotham, and after finishing off, she waited for his response. 

“Do you really expect me to believe that this is all for your anniversary?” Batman questioned Harley.

“Yes! I mean, come on! Admit it, Bats, even you’ve done something like that — I mean everyone in Gotham knows you got the hots for this one,” Harley pointed at Vivian. “Why else would you come all the way here just to save her?”

“Because you abducted the Professor,” Batman pointed out.

“Whatever! The professor already said that she’s in. If you’re not, you better scram or I’ll make you!” Harley took her bat in warning.

Batman looked at Vivian and sighed. “Fine, I’ll join you in your trip. I’ll inform Robin on the change of plans.”

“And get the jet back to them?” Vivian shrugged.

Batman hummed in displeasure and turned his back to them and went to do his call. 

“So, is it true?” Harley said, getting too close to Vivian. “Are you and the Bat close?”

“He’s a friend, considering he saved me before and I’ve been consulting in other cases.”

“Don’t worry, Professor, your secret is safe with me – boop!” She poked Vivian’s nose. 

~ * ~

Later that night, while Harley made herself comfortable in the captain’s quarters, Vivian settled in one of the rooms in the yacht and changed to the pajamas that Harley provided for her tonight. It seems she was prepared for everything and gave her lingerie so, in her words, she could “have the night with the bat. What happens in the yacht stays in the yacht.” 

“Nightwing and Robin will be on standby with the jet,” Batman said as soon as he entered the room. 

“That’s a good idea. You can take off the uniform, you know, and relax a bit. I placed a spell to keep anyone from snooping or eavesdropping,” Vivian said as she brushed her hair.

“Viv, we’re still on a job.”

“I know, but it’s not like Harley has some world dominating plan.”

“Hard to believe.”

Sighing, Vivian dropped the brush and turned to face Batman to come out clean, but Bruce did notice the black, laced lingerie that she wore. “Yeah, there is some sort of world dominating part in it and it’s mostly tied up to their anniversary dinner. Harley wants to get Ivy the plant so Ivy can create Eden at Gotham. I couldn’t tell you earlier because Harley was there.”

Bruce sighed and sat on the bed in front of her. He pulled down his cowl and ran his hand down his face. “I’ll inform Tim and the others about this. I guess you don’t want to ruin their dinner.”

“Maybe there’s just something that they can do with Ivy’s lab to not trigger the plant-dominating in Gotham? Harley means well, and I don’t want her to think that we’re going against what she’s doing because of her history. If this is going to help with whatever it is she’s doing, I’ll forgive her for hitting me with the mallet,” she gestured to the bruised forehead. “And we can just get this plant and then go back to normal. Besides, I’ll admit, a yacht sailing across the ocean with mimosas is fun. I’ve been enjoying it.”

“You do know that we can do this on our own yacht, right?”

“I know… I guess I just enjoy bonding with Harley. It’s fun. Aside from the whole head bashing and kidnapping, Harley’s fun to have around, and she’s pretty sweet too. And it’s been a while since we actually did something like this, the only downside in this little “vacation” is you’re not here with me.”

Bruce reached for his earpiece and said, “I’ll be cutting off for a while. Can you handle things until tomorrow morning?”

He heard snickering at the other line. It was Dick, “I’m sure we can handle things here. I’ll have Red Robin look into Ivy tonight too. Have fun you two!”

“See you guys tomorrow, cutting you off now, Batman,” Oracle said and the comms went silent. 

Getting up from the bed, Bruce removed his cape and cowl, and the belt — placing them on the vanity — then picked up Vivian from the seat. 

“Since we’re practically stuck here until Quinn gets us to that temple, might as well make the best of this time.”

Vivian smiled and kissed her husband. “So, what are we going to tell Harley when she finds us leaving the room together?”

“An open relationship with the Batman?” 

“How exciting,” Vivian laughed as Bruce got her on the bed and started kissing her neck. “Remember the last time we had sex on a yacht?”

“It’s been a while,” Bruce admits. “Do you miss it?”

“Very,” Vivian pulled him up to kiss his lips. 

His kisses went lower and lower, from her neck to her breasts. He pulled down the lingerie just so he could kiss her every inch of the and take in one of her nipples into his mouth. Before he could go any lower, Bruce got up to remove his gauntlets and the top of his uniform. Half-naked, he went down and started kissing her inner thigh until she felt him kiss her sex, and ran a long and lingering caress with his tongue directly. When did he get her underwear off? She couldn’t remember. Each lick and kiss showed how much he’s memorized her, what gives her pleasure, what makes her moan and what would make her cum. 

But he doesn’t want her to orgasm just yet, he wants this to last longer and to make her pay for making him worry when she was obviously alright, despite the bruised head. 

“Fuck, Bruce,” Vivian breathed out, her hand holding his hair as he prodded his tongue inside her, then he did something unexpected. “What are you –”

He had flipped them over so she was practically sitting on his face. Embarrassed, Vivian tried to get out of that position but Bruce held her there and continued kissing her clit. She held onto the bed frame for support as she felt the knot in her stomach with how much stimulation he was giving her there.

“Bruce, come on,” Vivian panted. “You know that I feel bad when you ask me to do this.”

“You made me worry,” was all he answered and continued with his work, suckign her clit into his mouth, working it with his tongue. The feeling of it, the light touches and the teasing licks, had her arch her back and unintentionally move her hips to get more stimulation so she could reach her climax. 

He knew exactly what would get her to squirm in his hold. He wedged two fingers inside her, twisting it around as he looked for the spot that had her moaning his name loudly, all the while he traced her clit with the tip of his tongue. 

“Bruce, I…” Vivian whispered and held his hand. A signal that she was going to come. He growled against her sex and stops. “Why?”

Bruce flipped them over again and settled between her legs. “I might as well enjoy this, right?” He wrapped her legs around his waist and pushed into her. With one hand holding her waist and the other her wrist, Bruce thrust in fast, too fast, all the while he kissed her lips deeply.

Just like earlier, before Vivian could reach her climax, he flipped them once again, this time she was on top of him and Bruce held her by her waist, sinking her deeper, so he could have more of her.

“Ride me,” he said.

She obeys, sitting up and fixing her position, she started with slow and decadent stokes. Opening her eyes, Vivian watched as her husband watched as she fucked him there and felt him grow harder inside her. Her movements started to hasten and her descent harder, to help her, Bruce would meet her descent but that wasn’t enough. Vivian wanted to cum after he’s denied her that twice, taking his hand, she placed it between her thighs and said, “Please, my love.” He pressed down on her clit, making her moan. “Don’t stop.”

Fuck, he thought. He can’t stop now.

Sitting up, he met his wife’s lips again and bit her lip as she gasped when her climax finally came. Her eyes slid shut with pleasure, her sex clenching around him. It’s too much and this time he gave in to the overwhelming pleasure. 

Bruce catching Vivian with a kiss that slowed everything and had them settle back to that bed. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, if there was any way to be closer than that.

“That was…” Vivian panted. 

“A lot,” Bruce admits, still feeling himself releasing spasm after spasm inside her. “I’ve been pent up for a while now.”

“Me too… maybe we should thank Harley for giving us this break.”

“Maybe.”

Laughing, Vivian kissed her husband again and said, “You wanna go again?”

Bruce turned to her, smiling, and said, “Give me five minutes.”

~ * ~

Arriving at one of the islands of Knossos, the yacht docked at the old looking port that had the view of a temple above the mountain, Gaia’s Temple, and before that was a forest, lush, majestic, and mysterious.

“Do you smell that?” Harley took a deep breath. 

“The ocean,” said Batman.

“I smell true love and it’s just up that mountain,” Harley pointed her bat at the temple atop the mountain. 

“Actually, it’s something else,” Vivian stepped up, wearing the clothes that Harley provided for her, which reminded her of Evelyn O'Connell from the 1999 film, The Mummy. 

“What is it?” Batman asked her. 

“There’s the ocean and the forest, but there’s also a tinge of… sulfur?” She turned to Bruce, knowing what they were facing.

“You need to get your nose checked, Professor, because I ain’t smelling sulfur anywhere. Let’s go!” Harley jumped off the yacht and was marching towards the forest. 

“She’s going to get herself killed,” Vivian sighed.

“Then we’ll make sure she doesn’t die,” Batman jumped down and caught her when Vivian followed him. “Here, for protection.”

“Is this your collapsible sword?”

“Yes,” Bruce answered and demonstrated it. 

“Of all the things you have there, this is the coolest one there is.”

“AUGH! STOP EYE-FUCKING EACH OTHER AND LET’S GO!” Harley called out from the entrance of the forest.

“Harley! Wait, don’t go in there!” Vivian ran after her.

~ * ~

The path across the forest was supposed to be easy, Vivian has gone through the place before and got out unscathed, but this time they have been walking for hours now with Harley taking the lead and holding the map she nicked from the museum. Vivian wasn’t happy when Harley pulled out the map from her bag and recognized it.

“You took an ancient old map and glued it to an A3 paper so you can do a treasure hunt?!” Vivian exclaimed.

“I know, smart, right?” Harley smirked.

Before she could burn the forest, Batman placed a hand on Vivian’s shoulder and reminded her of their mission. Get the plant, get back to Gotham, let Harley do her anniversary surprise, and they stop Ivy. 

But now, even with the map they were running in circles.

“I think this is fake,” Harley said.

“It’s not, it’s the real deal,” Vivian told her.

“How would you know?”

“Because I do… This is also the same map we copied and printed so we can go around the place when we went in for the documentary.” She took the map from Harley.

“Then how come it ain’t working?”

“Vivian,” Batman approached her. “The sulfur, was it there when you came the last time?”

“No, that’s why I was…”

“Maybe it’s doing it on purpose, to throw us off guard. Gaia is the earth, and what happens if we continue aimlessly in this forest without food or water?”

“We die, then we turn to compost and return to the earth… shit,” Vivian sighed. Holding his hand, Vivian said to him, “What’s one more person to know, right?”

Batman nodded in agreement.

“Harley, do you promise that whatever happens in this little adventure stays here?” Vivian turned to the woman watching them with a smirk on her face.

“Yeah, I promise! I won’t tell your billionaire husband that you and the Bat were going all out last night too.”

“Harley.”

“I swear!” She crossed her heart.

“Alright,” handing the map to Bruce, Vivian focused and cast the spell to open the gate. “Into the light, I command thee.” Vivian transformed out of her Evelyn O'Connell outfit to the robes of the Phoenix, her red hair glowing flames, and her eyes bright gold. 

“Holy shit!” Harley exclaimed. “You-you-you got magic! You’re that Phoenix woman that I saw on TV last year, battling demons! Oh!” Her eyes turned to Batman. “So, does the Justice League have anything on work-relations? Do they allow this arrangement?”

Batman only glared at her. 

“This will scare away those assholes trying to trap us here. Follow me, I know the way,” Vivian said and took the lead.

“How?” Harley asked.

“Because I can sense them up the mountain. They want us to go there.”

Following the path and the scent of monsters and hell, Vivian got them through the forest and at the foot of the mountain that had a long and steep path leading to the top.

“So, can you fly us up there?” Harley asked.

“Something I didn’t discuss in my documentary,” Vivian faced them. “This island is a sacred place. This forest is actually the Forest of Dodona, and it’s where homo magi would come for their test of power. A millennia ago, practitioners of magic would come here as a trial by fire. They would cross the forest, which we did, then climb the mountain to the top where the temple is and take a bite of whatever fruit is up there where they will have a taste of the purest and most ancient magic. The island is magical itself, and it will keep you from teleporting to cheat. It tests magic users of their skills. You still want to go through with this?”

“Hell, yeah,” Harley said.

“Thought so,” Vivian sighed. “So, stay close.”

Their ascend to the top was long and full of trials. The mountain was actually a volcano that would let out steams that were both volcanic and hallucinogenic that reminded Vivian of the Oracle of Delphi. She won’t admit it but as they ascended she would see visions around her. Her mother would appear, telling her to come down and come home with her; John would appear to, telling her to just give up on this trials; Or Lucifer, she’s encountered the Devil a couple of times, and his cocky smile would always get her.

“Come on, Viv,” Lucifer’s illusion whispered in her ear. “Come on, forget about them, this can all end now. You know what’s waiting for you up there.”

“Shut up!” Vivian threw a ball of flames at his direction, but he wasn’t there. There was just the view of the setting sun and the top of the forest. 

“Whoah, there, Professor!” Harley said.

Batman climbed up to check on her. “Viv, is everything…”

“Yeah, just… you’re not seeing any visions are you?” Vivian asked.

Bruce shook his head. “No, and you? What did you see?”

“A lot… but I can push through. We’re almost to the top anyway. And trust me, this is just the beginning.”

They pushed through, climbing the mountain until they came to camp base at the first peak, just as Harley was to cheer, she fell silent when she saw what awaits them. A cave. No way up but through that cave.

“That’s the entrance to the labyrinth, and to the heart of the temple, the real work starts then,” Vivian told her as she drank from the flowing stream. “We rest for the night, then we go in tomorrow morning.”

Harley didn’t argue and said something about hunting a pigeon for dinner.

Their camping sight wasn’t the most ideal but they made due, Batman had taken off his cape and wrapped it around Vivian for her to use as a blanket tonight, and Harley was busy cooking the fish and rabbit she caught while they prepared camp.

“Here, Professor, have a bite!” Harley handed her the skewered fish.

Accepting the food, Vivian thanked her for it and dug in, and for a moment, she forgot about Harley and fed Bruce a piece. They both seem to forget because Batman scooted close to her and wrapped an arm around to give her more warmth. They only realized what they were doing and that they were not alone when Harley coughed.

“So, how long has this been going on?” Harley asked.

Vivian quickly moved away from Batman and went to eat on her own. 

“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. So, does the hubby know about the whole magic thing?”

“Yes,” Vivian answered.

“And he’s okay with it?”

“Yeah, he is,” Vivian kept her gaze on the ground to keep her from turning to Batman. “How about you, Dr. Quinzel?”

“What about me?”

“Tell us how you’ve been? I’ve been hearing stories that you’ve been helping out the Bats and some that are just out there.”

Harley groaned. “You helped them save the world once and people start thinking you’re a hero and have expectations! Geez! For the record, the reason why I helped them with saving the world is because I live in it and so does Ivy, and nothing more! What, you think I’m a hero too?”

Vivian shrugged. “I think you’re Harley Quinn. And you do whatever the wind tells you to do.”

“Nobody tells me what I do, Professor!”

Vivian laughed. “Why do you keep calling me Professor?”

“Because you are. Come on, just because I’m this doesn’t mean I respect you as a professor. I’ve read your works, you know, and I respect you just as I respect my Dr. Ivy.”

Vivian smiled. “I’ve also read your works too, Dr. Quinzel. You’re a good psychiatrist.”

“Thanks, but you can just call me Harley. I’m still a psychiatrist but that’s kind of like a part time thing.”

“Oh, you have a clinic?”

“Nah, just something I do with the people I work with. Bats here is even my patient!” She pointed at Batman.

“You are?” Vivian turned to him.

“I’m not,” Batman replied.

“He’s just shy.”

Later that night, as Vivian lay in Batman’s cape, she felt his strong arms wrap around her as he took his place beside her. Feeling her husband’s embrace, Vivian smiled and went back to sleep. 

~ * ~

They started early the next morning, packing water and food before they went inside the labyrinth. The walls were filled with depictions of the creation of the universe as told by Greek mythology, and as they pushed through there were trials they had to face, one of which involved the brains of the Bat to help her cheat their way through a solstice calendar. 

Using the light of her magic and one of Batman’s batarangs, they reflected the light to shine to the gem that serves as the key to opening the large stone gates. The doors opened and they passed through, which led them deep into the caves and up the mountain that led to more trails which each of them passed with their skills. Harley using her acrobatics, Batman with his wit and gadgets, and Vivian with her magic and knowledge in reading ancient Greek.

When they finally came to the top and at the end of the maze, they came to the final test. One that was related to Green Magic. To nature and life and death. 

“Gaia is earth,” Vivian said as she read the stones and the images on it. “For this trial, we must create life.”

“You sure you’re not pregnant after the other night?” Harley asked her.

“Not like that,” Vivian groaned. “I mean… look around, there’s no soil nor water, just stone. Just like Gaia, we need to create a life form from nothing.”

“So, how do we do that? You’re the magician here,” said Harley.

Looking around, Vivian studied the environment they had. “There’s a piece of sunlight there,” she pointed to where a small ray shone. 

“The sun is almost setting, we need to hurry,” said Batman.

“The Pomegranate seeds!” Vivian called for Harley. “Hurry!”

Harley spat out one of the seeds she’s been sucking on and handed it to Vivian. Now, they needed soil. Placing her hand on the ground, she started gathering the small amount of dirt she could get to create a soil pocket. Seeing what she was up to, Batman shoved himself to the wall to generate more dirt from the stone ceilings, more than enough dropped and Vivian placed the seeds inside, then with the small drop of their water, she started casting a spell to speed up the process of life.

She was the Phoenix, she should be able to bring life to that lifeless cave.

And she did. From that small dirt, a seedling sprout appeared and the doors that were closed opened to reveal an old tree atop the temple that bore a pomegranate at one of its branches.

“There it is!” Harley ran inside.

“Harley, wait!” Vivian called out to stop her but she was too late. From the ceiling a creature dropped down, a giant that towered them all. Antaeus. The giant. The son of Poseidon and Gaia. 

“You dare take from Mother’s garden?” Anteus growled.

“Harley!” Vivian pulled her back with her magical force before the giant could crush her with his fists. 

“I shall make you my offerings to Mother and place your skulls on the walls of her temple!” Anteus declared.

They kept evading Anteus’ attacks. Running across the place to get away. Batman tried using his gadgets to get to him, but no matter what explosive or weapon he had on hand, nothing worked. Every damage made by the giant would be healed instantly.

“Any tips, Professor?” Harley asked. “Nothing seems to work with him!”

“Anteus is son of Poseidon and Gaia… it’s Gaia that heals him! We need to get him off the ground!”

“And how do we do that?!” Harley exclaimed.

“Batman, Harley, can you immobilize him? I know how to do it,” Vivian asked the two.

“Yeah, we can!” Harley declared and jumped out, brandishing her knives and used her acrobatics to get close to the giant while dodging his attacks. Batman followed her, doing the same. The two slashed the giant at his Achilles tendon, immobilizing the giant and falling to the ground, before he could be healed, Vivian summoned the Phoenix and lifted him off the ground with her magical chains. He was heavy, put Vivian carried him with her magic to be elevated from the ground, not giving him a chance to touch one spec of soil so his mother could heal him. 

“Peels, suetnA!” 

The giant tried to fight it but he eventually succumbed to a deep slumber while suspended in midair. 

“Whohoo! Team Harley, let’s go!” Harley cheered and went to the tree to pick a pomegranate from the tree. “Want one, Professor?”

“I’m good,” Vivian said. “Let’s just go home.”

“Do we go the same way?” Harley asked.

“No, we use the other way. We leave the same way Daedalus and Icarus did.”

“By dying?”

“By flying, Quinn,” said Batman.

“Right… so, how do we do that?”

To answer her question, Vivian pushed her off the window and jumped after her, in mid fall, she used her magic to catch them and flew them back to the beach, with Batman gliding with his cape.

~ * ~

Back in Gotham, Vivian slumped in the bathroom tub and relaxed. It has been a long weekend with the trip with Harley, then dealing with the police report at the GCPD, then insisting that she wasn’t pressing charges, then Batman and the Robins stopping Ivy from using the Pomegranate seed to create her world-dominating-Eden formula. She deserves this break.

“I got you some snacks,” Bruce entered their bathroom and showed the bowl of snacks that he prepared in the kitchen. “And your drink.”

Vivian happily accepted the glass of scotch and thanked him. “So, how are things?”

“We won’t be hearing a lot from Harley or Ivy for a while after we stop the formula from getting finished. Gordon is still confused as to why you’re not pressing charges. And we’re handling the PR about you going missing, nothing too serious. And you?”

“The Dean told me to take a little break and rest, because what I went through is a lot,” she added air quotations. “And I also met with the psychologist for the trauma-something, which I do not need but thank you… and I miss my husband.”

Bruce smiled, placing the bowl of snacks on the table beside them, he sat on the edge of the tub and said, “We had the entire weekend together.”

Vivian got out her hand from the water and reached for his thigh. “What can I say? I can’t get enough of you.”

Getting up, Bruce took off his shoes, his trousers and shirt, then joined Vivian in the tub, overflowing the water. She squealed in laughter as he had her sitting on his lap, both of them naked and close to each other.

“I can’t get enough of you too,” Bruce said and kissed her deeply. “Shall we continue what we started that night in the yacht?”

“I wasn’t aware we weren’t finished then.”

“Oh, my love, that wasn’t even half of what I wanted to do with you.”

Just as Alfred as to bring Vivian a bowl of pretzels, which he knew she liked to munch on while having a long bath in the tub, he stopped on his tracks when he saw Bruce and her in the tub, laughing and kissing.

“Oh, my,” Alfred said and quietly closed the door to give them privacy.

[monsterlimbs]

BG3 did incredible at making the bad guys so incredibly sympathetic/empathetic honestly. Coming from someone who is so so so so insanely justice oriented, I feel BAD for all the villains and bad people in the game. I think they deserve better. I already made a post on Orin a second ago so now we're doing all the big bads because she reminded me how funny it is, for me who's so set on justice to be like "free my girl! she's not a good person or innocent I just think she deserves better" lol. So we're doing Gort's post!!!!!!!!!

Gortash was a normal child born to a poor family who couldn't handle it and, FREQUENTLY, told him he was a nasty child for being... a child. For sure he was being neglected, not just in the way of lack of food due to no money, but also socially so. So he turned to creating toys (productive instead of destructive!!!! good boy!) and they were... pissed? Oh, and remember, this little boy for sure had no friends so his only comfort was tinkering with scraps leftover from whatever projects his parents worked on in the shop.

And then, they sold Gortash to a fucking devil for some money (that hardly even did shit for them, imagine how angry he was to return and he saw them living the same life they led when he was a child, after HE was sent to HELL, so THEY could have a BETTER life and they didn't even fucking do that.) and he had to live his childhood in Hell, in constant abuse. How many gods do you think he prayed to, begging for freedom? And in this world, the gods are DEFINITIVELY real and listening, so how many gods do you think ignored him? Ignored an abused, sniffling child in the Hells, who up until this point has done nothing wrong and only wants to be safe, loved, and in a place he gets to tinker with some toys?

Whether you hate the man he became or not, just for a moment think of the child he was. Always told he was too bitchy and whiney for being a normal child, then sold to a devil, sent to Hell, abused to the point I honestly think it's a miracle he survived, ignored by tens of gods.

And then, he still had the strength to GET FREE, and find Bane, who made him even stronger. Made it so that HE'D never be the victim again. Made it so that he could not only never be the victim again, but that he'd thrive. That he'd be on top of the world.

Then he meets Durge, who I honestly believe to be his first friend (he, for sure, had no friends in his parents' home, and everyone in Raphael's House of Hope was either sentenced to do something weird, hated him, or just generally not his pal). And I also believe this to be vice versa as well. Durge has kinda been forced to kill everyone he loves, but Gortash, Gortash he CAN'T kill, because for once, Bhaal sees a man that's important to his own plan, sees a man that he can let Durge befriend because it's better for the plan. So they become friends, and I for sure believe that they were both manipulating each in the beginning but actually became REAL friends eventually (maybe even always manipulating each other, but in a mutual, "I see what you're doing and I raise your mild manipulation to major manipulation" back and forth, almost playful way). And they totally fucked, but I'm trying to be kinda unbiased here, so whether they were more than fuck buddies or not is not important here, but they WERE friends in my opinion. Not even in my opinion, it's fact, "He did miss this" is a legit quote from the narrator after succeeded an insight check. They respected each other, saw each other in ways they saw no other, because no other was so fucked up and evil that he could go "I killed a man yesterday" and be responded to in kind. Anyone else, and their stomach would turn. But they've found their other half in a way, a man of mental strength, self control (...ish), and general respectability. Someone they can both rant to without judgement! Truly, who else would listen to these two men rant about what they've done, WITHOUT setting the guards on them? Also, Durge was formidable and had Gortash's same goals so he liked that. Durge also knew to keep personal things and business separate, so even if he and Gortash had arguments and such outside of The Plan™, they managed to keep it under the table and focus on The Plan when important and Gortash liked that even more.

But this post is supposed to be less about Durge so anyway, then Ketheric's added to the mix and Ketheric doesn't share their ideals so much but when he's being kept busy, he's at least a good work dog in Gortash's eyes. The Plan's all coming together now, and Gortash is busy and stressed no doubt, but he's no one's victim, the world is in his hands, and he has a friend! It's perfect.

And then his friend disappears, and Durge's annoying little sister replaces him. But he knows to keep personal stuff and business stuff separated, so he tolerates her, binds her blades, and has to shoulder a bit more of the plan now (do you really think Orin is willing to be civil at all and talk through details of the plane with Gortash like Durge would? She's doing her part of the plan well and scaring the sheep into Gortash's protection BUT she's not going above and beyond like I think Durge did, so he's left to his own devices to sort through shit.)

And now!!! His buddy's back!!!!!! THANK GOD YOU'RE BACK DURGE I MISSED YOU I mean hello now you can kill your stupid little annoying sister and- why do you have a certain tiefling with you. dear god you're consorting with peasants Durge. you were so strong and cool before what are you DOING buddy. Even funnier if Durge is romantically involved w Karlach and adores her, because I PUT HER IN HELL AND NOW MY PRECIOUS LITTLE FRIEND IS KISSING HER WHEN THEY SHOULD BE KISSING ME I mean when they should be focusing on The Plan™. Even, even, even funnier if Durge is total resist and refuses to make a plan with Gort, because he totally thinks they're going to come to their senses eventually, and instead they just. kill him. At one point, he even says "No. You have to stop her. Do it! Now!", because he still believes Durge is on his side and would totally stop Karlach. After all, why wouldn't they when they "share so much history"?

But also, if they're a resist Durge but still w the plan... he's happy for them. Imo, ACTUALLY happy for them. He's like "oh you left your father? wonderful! now you don't have any master or urges to bind you and we can finally focus on getting that damned netherbrain back in our hands!" but he's cool w embraced durge too. because either way, as long as you have a pact w him, he's safe in his mind w you and he's happy you're taking over the brain with him. And he's totally willing to share his kingdom w you. In fact, he WANTS to rule together as kings, which in Bane's rulebook is the first bad thing ever. He's being a BAD Banite, just because he's kinda lonely and wants someone to rule w in my opinion. But not just anyone, someone Cool™ and probably evil so he can be like "my slaves over there are being so annoying" and then have his buddy respond w sympathy. ....Sympathy for him, not the slaves. Which. Is fucking awful and I'm glad he's not real for that fact. But anyway

If you follow through w the pact, and reach the boat and everything, he lets you hit him once funnily enough. And he responds so childishly, by kicking you back! It's so funny to me

And briefly off topic, but I believe he's so childish because the way he grew up sort of stunted his maturity. Like, he's smart enough and charismatic enough that he can put on a good face for the public eye, but the second alone he's biting his pillow, having massive tantrums when shit goes sideways, having his guards sentenced to death if they stare at him weirdly, essentially doing everything an angry child would when they've been "wronged" in their eyes

Now back to topic, you reach the brain and it immediately fucking kills him. For a man so set on being in control, no longer being anyone's victim, finally being free to do what he wants... it's ironic he dies in this way. And though he's, for sure, a completely fucked up dude, it's a little bit sad to me honestly.

[marinettesaltprompts]

A Forever Grudge

Prompt by @indigomarina

Prompt: What if Season 1-3 Marinette being nice/cordial with Kim and wanting Chloe to be better was just a ploy? In reality, she still pissed at Kim and Chloe for what they did and what he put her through. All this time, she’s had a secret revenge board she’s never told anyone (not even Alya and Tikki is shocked and terrified when SHE finds out). So when she’s finally decided the time has come to exact her revenge. Marinette sets it up, staying up days and nights for the perfect revenge.

This is Derision salt (but for Marinette), some kwami swap and a smidge of salt towards class salt.(This turned out to be longer than I thought.)

(There is some fanon discontinuity and some context: this Marinette is uncomfortable in episodes where she’s going to the pool like Gorizilla or Mr. Pigeon 72. Chloe’s redemption wasn’t cut off and she kept her identity a secret. Zoe isn’t here or at least hasn’t appeared yet, so Chloe’s still the go-to bee miraculous holder. The Derision flashback happens but the ‘Dark Humor’ stuff doesn’t happen. Kim’s genuinely become a better person by this point. Something similar happened with @socquelix ’s prompt, where Marinette ghosted Socqueline, so she’s not happy to see her.)

It affects her duties as Ladybug as she’s too exhausted to do anything outside of Lucky Charms and purifying the akuma. Thankfully for the civilians, Chat picks up the slack. When he asks Ladybug what’s up, Ladybug just says she has some planning. Chat firmly tells her to get some sleep before someone ends up severely hurt.

One day, Marinette falls asleep outside and slips up a ledge, thankfully Chat Noir gets there in time. Marinette is still fast asleep, so he takes her back to her house. He puts her on her bed, he goes to leave when he notices something on her table. Curiosity kills the cat and Chat reads the papers. He’s horrified reading about Marinette’s revenge plan. Creeped out, he backs away until he finds his schedule written down. Chat is terrified, he knew she was a fan, but this is too much! He keeps himself quiet as to not wake Marinette. He snaps some pictures and gets out of there.

The day of Marinette’s plan arrives but something’s wrong, Chloe and Kim aren’t where they’re supposed to be! All of Marinette’s plans either backfire or hit other students. It turns out Adrien had texted Chloe and Kim Marinette’s plan. Chloe confronts Marinette and Marinette yells this is payback for what she and Kim did. Chloe and Kim are appalled that’s the reason. Not because it wasn’t bad, but because Kim thought Marinette and him were cool and Marinette encouraged Chloe to be better. Marinette says she only said those things so they would think she was okay with happened. She hates them both and doesn’t give a damn if they have 'changed’.

Both Chloe and Kim are hurt/offended by this, so Chloe reveals something else Adrien texted her: Adrien’s schedule in her room! People are horrified and Marinette runs away.

Marinette runs into an alleyway and says 'Spots On’ but Tikki doesn’t come to her. Wayzz had removed the earrings when Marinette finally slept. Feeling truly alone, Hawk Moth is able to akumatize her into Princess Justice.

Like her grandmother Gina (Befana), she punishes people and 'rewards’ them as she sees fit. She rewards Juleka and Luka.

She punished Kagami, Rose, Mylene, and most of the class. Kagami because she took Adrien away, the others for believing Lila’s lies over her.

She’s about to 'reward’ Alya but Nino pushes her out the way and takes it instead. Alya is sad but gets away.

She catches after Kim, Chloe having managed to get away.

Adrien transforms into Chat Noir. Princess Justice gets upset, such a 'lazy superhero’ is here. Chat offended points out, he’s been picking up the slack for Ladybug. This gets Princess Justice upset and she and Chat duke it out. He gets his butt handed to him, wondering where Ladybug was. He has to retreat.

He runs to Master Fu’s. He explains things the best he can, but he’s hit with the bombshell that Master Fu has the ladybug Miraculous. He’s vague about why Ladybug can’t be there but tells him he needs to find replacements and use the other miraculous.

Adrien decides to briefly become Mister Bug. He also takes the bee Miraculous, the fox, the dragon, and the monkey. When Fu inquires what’s he going to do with Plagg, MB says he has a plan.

MisterBug finds Chloe and gives her Plagg. Chloe is confused but obliges. She becomes Golden Kitty. 

Mister Bug gives Alya Trixx to become Rena Rouge. Since Chloe has Plagg and Kagami’s been 'punished’, MB has to find alternates.

He finds Socqueline, an ex-friend of Marinette, and lends her Pollen. She becomes Mìfēng. They find Ondine, whose worried sick about Princess Justice finding her boyfriend, so MB gives her the Dragon Miraculous and she becomes Triple Threat.

Back with Princess Justice, she has Kim right where she wants him. Kim apologizes and pleads for his life, but Princess Justice wants blood. She’s about to punish him where a gust of wind blow her away and Triple Threat is able to save Kim. 

Kim doesn’t recognize his girlfriend, but is grateful for the save. Triple Threat and Mìfēng have some trouble since they’re using the miraculous for the first time, plus even Golden Kitty is a little rusty since she’s using a different miraculous. But they manage to distract Princess Justice long enough for Misterbug to lead Kim the monkey miraculous.

Misterbug calls for his lucky charm and out comes a heart shaped box. An empty heart shaped box. He’s confused until Kim points out he gave Marinette a box like that, but it was filled with spiders.

Misterbug shows up in the flesh to battle Princess Justice himself. Princess Justice yells about could an idiot like him hold HER miraculous! Misterbug is confused until it hits him! Marinette is Ladybug! No wonder she’s been so flighty for the best few times.

Misterbug gets over his shock and pulls out the plan, pointing out Kim is behind her. Princess Justice looks behind and HE’S RIGHT! Kim is there and holding a familar looking heart shaped box. Princess Justice runs after him.

She aims at him, but he keeps dodging! Finally she has him in an alley way, he dropped the box. Princess Justice decides she’s going to give him a taste of his own medicine. She opens the box…and nothing comes out. Princess Justice looked out to see Kim was gone and then felt a sharp pain hit her. She fell to the ground.

She sees Rena Rouge, who apologizes before saying 'NOW’. Everyone springs into action. King Monkey uses Uproar, so Princess Justice can’t use her reward or punish powers anymore. Misterbug tries her up with his yo-yo and Mìfēng uses Venon, making sure she can’t get away. Finally, Golden Kitty cataclysming the akumatized item, having Misterbug 'Miraculous Misterbug’ away all the damage.

Marinette growls before saying it’s not fair, how they got away with everything while she was left scared by everything that happened. Goldenkitty and King Monkey do look ashamed for a minute but Misterbug says that while what happened to her was terrible, that doesn’t excuse what did or tried to do to them.

Marinette is sent home without her miraculous. Everyone gives Misterbug back their miraculous. Adrien asks what’s going to happen to Marinette since 1. he knows her identity and 2. some videos of Princess Justice admitting to being Ladybug have come out and people have connected the dots on what that means.

Master Fu says he’ll figure something out and tells him to take care of Tikki in the meantime.

Back with Marinette, she’s been hearing whispers about her in school. Either how she was grudge bearing stalker creep or about how she was Ladybug. Most of her classmates won’t talk to her either or are no longer friends with her.

The civil ones are terrified that they do something they don’t like she’ll plan something terrible against them. And the angry ones are upset that Marinette is still mad about the Lila thing, pointing out that since Chloe revealed her board of Adrien’s schedule that that points their point she’s only after her out of jealousy if anything.

Kim and Chloe are surprisingly quiet, wanting this whole thing to be over.

Gabriel has issued a retraining order against Marinette, the news about her stalking having reached him, horrifying Marinette. Adrien feels sorry for Marinette but also now feels uncomfortable around her, so he allows this to happen.

Finally, Marinette asks Fu if she’s going to get Tikki back. He tells her no, not only because of her actions against others, but everyone knows she’s Ladybug. Marinette pleads, but Fu is firm.

Later Adrien is upset about how things are going when Luka comes up to him and comforts him. Adrien tells Luka he knew Marinette was a fan but didn’t know she was THAT intense about it. He also admits he feels sorry for Marinette (albeit more pity than sympathy). Luka admit he also didn’t know she was like this. But he tells Adrien it’s okay to be upset about how things went and that he can feel sorry for her as long as he doesn’t condone her actions. Adrien gives him a grateful hug and says Marinette was a fool to lead him on, making Luka flattered.

Eventually, another ladybug is found: Coccinelle. Tikki was given to Luka. So Plagg is back with Adrien and Chloe will become Queen Bee is the bee is needed. With the Miracuclass back to normal, Longg is typically assumed to go back with being Kagami’s holder. Although Adrien recommends Socqueline take the snake. He points out they could use Ondine in the future.

Together Coccinelle and Chat Noir now save Paris together.

[luv444saturn]

𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 pt.2

(Continuation, link to my masterlist for other chapters!)

TW - Blood, brief mention of infection, guns.

Authors Note - part two, I feel like I'm having way too much fun writing this, thank you so much for reading :3

That single word, more importantly the characteristics of the voice that said it, had chills running down your spine. “You don't listen well, do you?” Again, that awful voice sounded from behind you. Despite how badly you wanted to tremble or turn around or plan your defense, you made sure you didn't take your eyes off of the scope. “Eyes over here.” Now that voice, you had never been so relieved to hear Spencer speak. His voice was sharp, pointedly spoken at the man.

There was another thing about him. While you claimed you hated him, loathed his intelligence and his ego, you could never say you didn't need him. In one way or another. You needed him to prove you wrong, knock you down a peg. You needed someone to challenge your intellect. You needed someone to funnel your annoyance onto. That someone just happened to do the same things to you in return. It was mutualism at its finest, the symbiotic relationship sometimes devolved into parasitism if you allowed it. 

But right now you needed him so you knew you weren't alone.

You heard another gun cock, the sound filling you with a sense of dread. “Reid,” his name was almost strained, almost dying on your lips, “don't do anything stupid.” 

The minuscule shift in your tone, the only sign of vulnerability that showed through your cracking exterior. That calmness you had carefully constructed that he so desperately yearned to have. He hadn't mastered that mask yet. That was enough of a change to have him glance in your direction. Soon enough, the words 'don't do anything stupid,’ rang in his ears like a hymn. 

He did something stupid.

That glance, that single second that he wasted had wavered his focus just enough to provide this mystery man with a slim opening. An opening that was wide enough for him to take advantage of.

A pained sound, akin to a hiss, escaped Spencer's lips. Soon that idiotic move that he had pulled seconds before, you repeated. A glance. A single glance back to the agent who was clutching his hand with a strained expression, staring at the source of the gruff voice from a moment ago. “He's got my gun.” Spencer said, letting out a huff. It took everything he had to focus on anything but the pain in his hand, where blood soaked onto his skin, dripping through his fingers and down onto the ground below his feet.

You went for the walkie-talkie at your hip, but as expected, the man—safe to consider another unsub—had other plans. “We can't have that,” he clicked his tongue, “hand it over.” He approached with Spencer's gun aimed at you, kicking away your rifle so you had no chance of turning the tables. He was leaving you destitute, stranded in a dangerous position with no hope of clawing yourself out of it.

You watched him crush the walkie-talkie under heavy, paint stained boots. Spencer watched life practically drain from your eyes, the hope you had dissolving instantaneously. 

Spencer had always paid the most attention to people's eyes. Unconsciously taking in every detail, knowing precisely what emotion they captured. Because nobody, despite how mastered they were in the art of putting up facades, could hide their feelings through their eyes. Lips and faces remain still, unmoving, but everything they wish to show was perfectly displayed through eyes. He had come to know yours quite well, and this moment was no exception. 

The man pulled out his phone. Unlike the mistake both of you had made, his grip wouldn't falter on the gun, and his eyes wouldn't stray from his targets.

You took a single step towards Spencer, staring down at his hand that was still actively bleeding, trembling. He looked pitiful, like one of those puppies in those commercials that always made you tear up, and it took everything in you not to speak. You didn't have any words that were bubbling up in your throat, nothing, utterly silent. Wordlessly, you took his hand, observing the wound. A knife? That would explain how the man had taken his gun, and the hiss of pain it elicited from Spencer's lips.

Your fingers made quick work of his tie, feeling his eyes on you, you could practically hear the satirical, witty retort he wanted to say. One that would undoubtedly make you roll your eyes. But both of you had an understanding that this wasn't the time. It wasn't the time to make light of a situation, to distract yourselves from what was happening. His tie acted as enough of a bandage to stop the bleeding for now.

“Improper bandages can make wounds gangrene, even though it is important in the healing process to allow airflow, proper compression and coverage is crucial to avoid infection and tissue death—” Spencer began, silencing himself when he knew that he would only worsen your emotional state.

“Keep going.” Was all you said, voice hoarse and dejected.

Nobody had ever said that to him before.

Let alone you.

[irisinluv]

Ok so here’s the sitch. I binged chapters 1-15 of love and deep-space play throughs on YouTube, then realized I was invested, missing tons by not having the myths (?) and dates and cards and whatever else, so I am now playing the game for myself so I can have every ounce of lore and properly become hyper-fixated on this game.

Wasn’t sure if this should go here or my side blog but Caleb exists so it stays here.

Here’s what I’ve decided/my thoughts on everyone so far….

Caleb: I would fold in two seconds for that man. Scary soft dom vibes. Like I’d run away and he’d be like “☺️ it’s ok, it’s my fault for not making the place more secure, let’s make sure you’re not hurt and then I’ll cook you a meal and you’ve gonna sit right there on the couch and be comfy!🥰” and the would get that serious look and say softly, “But also- let’s not try that again? Ok?” And then if I tried to get up… def couldn’t. Idk why we were in a chair with wrist restraints when we were being interrogated. Mans whole Evol is gravity. His superpower is legit invisible bondage. Unless I’m missing something here. But. Man…. Toss me around like a rag doll… also not him in game asking mc if he should collar her.

Sylus: sugar daddy brat tamer. Lets you run around the n109 zone getting into trouble, but he’s always watching and he runs the place so when you get yourself in a tight spot he gets to swoop in and be like “mmmm, had enough of that yet kitten?” Oh and he’d totally be the clicker type. Like the counter where every time you click it the number goes up? Would just let you do your thing, you’d think you’re being sneaky, and then he’d show up at the end of the day like “42…. Damn. Hope you don’t have plans tomorrow” But then when you’re good….. mmm. Yea that man matches energy. You saw him give mc his card in game. That man just wants to spoil you rotten. I just know it. Even the twins are like “yo- that man’s feral for you, just chill here and ignore the crime stuff and let him make you his spoiled princess, ok?”

Rafayel: The whiney act he has is not my personal cuppa tea, but I feel like I need to give this man a chance when I get more into the game and lore. Cuz we all know that he’s not this aloof whiney ditz. He’s always got everything planned, keeps so many secrets, always gets us to go where he wants, do what he wants…. And then adds the whiney shit as a manipulation tactic. Still am confused that he’s a mermaid, and like, a god? And has a magic girl bond with mc? This is honestly one of the biggest reasons I’m playing the game for myself and really diving into everything instead of just watching play throughs of the main story. But. Yea, manipulative whiney rich boy who’s not actually whiney. Also so totally see this man laying down, arms wrapped around your waist as he uses your stomach as a pillow. Where he can look up as you with puppy dog eyes if you protest…. But also you really can’t move cuz his body is pinning your legs and his arms are not budging.

Zayne: Daddy? Sorry…. Sir? Sorry…. Doctor ? 🥴 no but fr, I want to take him to a cat cafe. I want to find a scruffy little alley cat that hates everyone except Zayne and casually will climb on his shoulders. Zayne will be there with his rbf as someone is talking to him, not showing any reaction and acting like you’re the weird one for being shocked as a cat suddenly appears on his shoulder. We will raise a cat together if it’s the last thing I do. I LOVE how cold presenting but deeply loving this man is. Did you see him when his rival tried to take us to dinner? Lord he was so icy smooth with it too, like yes sir turn down the peasants, doctors orders said I need more vitamin D…. Also I want that man to be a father. I want his babies. I want him to make them cute little snow animals and help me meal prep healthy school lunches (he would totally cut the sandwiches into little dinosaurs and make those themed lunches. Doesn’t care if he’s busy, will always be willing to spend the extra half hour making cucumber stars.)

Xavier: I won’t lie to yall I don’t like this man very much. I don’t know. He’s giving “I’m gonna pine from a distance cuz I don’t wanna hurt you” vibes. OMFG EDWARD CULLEN. XAVIER IS EDWARD CULLEN! yea. That’s my headcannon now “I can’t tell you why I’m so mysterious…. It’s safer if you don’t know…” *sparkles in the light* like sorry man has a light Evol, he literally does. And there’s a flower field scene I just did as one of his bonus thingies….. holy shit this fandoms gonna hate me for this but that’s it. They’re the same. I will continue seeking out things that validate this. Confirmation bias hates to see me coming.

Anyways. Love yall. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. Have to wait for the daily stuff to refresh cuz I need to be level 21 to start chapter 3, and I’ve done everything I can to earn xp already. I’m level 20, it’s so close it hurts. I just want to speed run the main storyline till I have Caleb around, is that too much to ask?

[fenya-scribbles]

Collide - Part 1

♥--------♥--------♥

Pairing: Non-Idol!Dancer!Hyunjin x Dancer!Fem!Reader

Other Characters: Non-Idol!bff!Minho, Non-Idol!Jisung

Summary: Dancing alongside Hyunjin is hard, especially because he seem’s to dislike you, but your best friend will not let that stop you. And maybe he also has other plans, who knows?

Genre: fluff, rivals to lovers

Content warnings: none in this one :) 

Word Count: 1,643

A/N: So, I had this idea while I was out on a walk. And I really wanted to write something for Hyunjin, because have you seen the man? He's occupying the first spot on my wrecker list of a reason. Also, yet again, Minsung is a thing here. This is obviously a part 1 and I will add links and stuff when I post the next part :) 

♥--------♥--------♥

The beat blaring through the speakers accelerated, marking the most difficult part of the choreography you were currently learning. It involved spinning and crouching and lots of footwork, and more often than not you lost your balance and had to catch yourself ungracefully with your hands in order to continue the rest of the dance routine. That’s how it went down again this time. You cursed under your breath, knowing full well that not only your instructor and best friend Minho saw it - your fellow dancer Hyunjin did as well. 

When the music stopped, the room was filled with the collective panting of you and the other dance students. You risked a glance at Hyunjin, all sweaty and gorgeous, his eyes fixed on you. Quickly, you turned away again, ears turning red. “Alright, that’s it for today”, Minho said loud enough for everyone to hear, “I’ll see you next week!”

Slowly, everyone scurried towards the door, except for you. You had to wait for Minho to pack up, since he was your ride. When Hyunjin passed you, your eyes briefly met again and he said with a devilish grin: “You’ll get it next time, leftie.” You huffed, but before you could throw anything back at him, he was already out the door. 

“Ugh, I hate him”, you said when you were finally alone with your best friend. “Sure you do, kitten”, he said with a knowing smile. “Oh, shut up”, you said, letting yourself fall onto the bench that went along the back wall of the practice room. “I didn’t say anything”, he said, his hands up in the air, before offering you his water bottle. You accepted, giving him a side eye.

“He calls me leftie, you know”, you said, “because of my two left feet.” “Which you don’t have.” “I still can’t get this choreo right.” Minho chuckled. “That’s because you keep staring at Hyunjin instead of focusing on your footwork.” You let out an exasperated groan. “Ugh, whatever”, you mumbled.

“So, have you thought about the spring competition?”, Minho asked after a short silence. You sighed. He’d been pestering about joining the competition since before it had even been officially announced. It was a yearly tournament hosted by the dance studio. Another one would be held in the fall. The winner would get some money and be spotlighted on the studio’s website and socials. Part of you wanted to join, to further your career as a dancer, but especially after today, you felt discouraged again. You just didn’t feel like you were good enough to enter a competition yet. 

“I don’t know, Min”, you said, “I think I should skip this one.” He furrowed his eyebrows in disappointment. “You still have a few more days to decide”, he said, “just think about it? For me?” Once again, a groan escaped your lips. “What if Hyunjin enters?”, you asked, “I could never beat him.” “You don’t know that, kitten.” Minho gave you an encouraging nudge. “You’re already better than most of my students.” You couldn’t help but smile at your best friends unwavering believe in you. He’d always been like that, which was why you had picked up dancing seriously in the first place.

Minho dropped you off at home, pressing a light kiss to your temple before you got out of his car. “Say hi to Ji for me”, you said, one leg already on the pavement. “Will do.” Minho waved as he drove way, and you made your way to your apartment.

A few minutes later, you enjoyed the hot water in the shower running over your sore muscles. And once again, Hyunjin invaded your mind. The way he moved had you awestruck every time. You’d tried to befriend him in the beginning, but he’d quickly started to throw dismissive comments your way, and so you’d given up your attempts. You didn’t know why he didn’t like you, but that combined with the effortlessness with which he seemed to master every choreography in no time, had you boil on the inside. He just did something to you and you didn’t like it. Or did you?

***

The next day, you found yourself in the middle of the grocery store, when your phone vibrated in your pocket. You pulled it out to see a message from Minho. “Ji wants to know if you want to come over for dinner tonight.” You smiled and send back an affirmative gif.

You loved having dinner at Minho’s place. He was a great cook and you also enjoyed spending time with his boyfriend. You’d been friends with Minho since before they’d gotten together and seeing their relationship build and grow had always given you immense amounts of joy. 

“Y/N!” Jisung flung his arms around your neck as soon as he’d opened the door for you. “I have to show you something!” He barely let you take off your shoes and coat before grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you into the living room.

“Look”, he said, grabbing an acoustic guitar from a stand next to the couch. “Oh, is that the one you’ve been telling me about?” He nodded and put the guitar strap over his head. “It sounds so good, listen!” You let yourself sink onto the couch as you listened to Jisung play a sweet, beautiful melody on the instrument. You marvelled at the way his fingers slid over the strings, as if he’d been born to do just that.

Minho poked his head in from the kitchen. “Jagi, can you serenade my best friend later?”, he said with a grin, “dinner’s almost ready.” Then his eyes went over to you. “Hi kitten!” “Hi Min!” You turned your attention back to Jisung. “It sounds beautiful, Ji”, you said with a warm smile. You meant it, but then again, anything Jisung did on any guitar sounded like heaven. He was a musician for a reason, after all.  “Let’s go eat, hm?” You got up off the couch and made your way to the dinner table, Jisung following shortly behind, after placing his new baby back in the guitar stand. 

Dinner was excellent, as always. The three of you chatted about everything and nothing, laughing over Jisung’s stupid jokes and complimenting Minho’s cooking skills.

“So, Min says you’re not sure about the spring competition?”, Jisung said eventually. You gave Minho a look, but he just shrugged. “I don’t think I’m in competition shape yet.” Minho huffed. “That’s stupid”, he said, “you’re one of my best dancers.” “But I’m not the best. I should train more. Maybe I can enter the fall competition.” Jisung narrowed his eyes at you. “You’re afraid of competing with Hyunjin, aren’t you?”, he asked with a smirk. 

You could feel your cheeks blush. “He hates me, you know”, you said, trying to defend yourself. “He does not hate you, kitten.” “Nobody could hate you”, Jisung added. You shook your head. “You don’t see how he talks to me, Ji”, you replied.

“So, he is the reason why you don’t want to compete?”, Minho asked. You shrugged. “I mean…I guess?” “That’s a stupid reason,” Minho said, a stern look on his face. “There’s still a few days do sign up, you know?” You shook your head. “Can you please just let it go, Min?” He let out a disapproving hum. “Fine, but I still think it’s stupid.” “Yeah, I heard you.” 

Thankfully, both of them dropped the topic for the evening, and after helping with the dishes, the three of you settled on the couch and watched a movie. And even though neither of them brought the competition up again, your mind kept wandering there again and again. And with that, Hyunjin took up residence in your mind again. Hyunjin, with his perfect eyes and his broad shoulders and his unfair ability to rock every hairstyle. Hyunjin, with his cocky smile and his fluid movements and his gorgeous laugh. You would never be able to compete with him. Never. 

***

A few days later you were walking through the dance studio’s hallway, when you noticed a presence beside you. “So”, an all too familiar voice said, “you signed up for the competition, huh?” You stopped in your tracks and whirled around. In front of you stood Hyunjin, looking down at you. He was so deliciously tall, you had to lift your head a bit to meet his eyes. “What?”, you asked. You were sure you'd misunderstood him.

“The spring competition, leftie”, he said with a smirk, “your name is on the list of contestants.” “What?!” You could hear Hyunjin chuckle, as you turned and sprinted to the blackboard that was positioned on the wall a bit further down the hallway.

You scanned the board, finding the list with the contestants for the spring competition - and there it was, your name, right underneath Hyunjin’s. It had to be a mistake. You did not sign up. There was no way your name could be on that list. Unless…

“Minho!”, you yelled as you flung open the door of the practice room. Your best friend was currently practicing on his own, stopping mid body roll as he watched you storm towards him. “You signed me up for the competition?!”

“You’re welcome”, he said with a self-satisfied smile. “What were you thinking?! I can’t compete! Not when he’s my competition!” “Breathe, kitten”, Minho said, placing his hands and your shoulders. “You’re gonna be fine. This is a big chance for you and I couldn’t let your stupid obsession with Hyunjin get in the way.” “Obsession? Min, I’m not-“ He raised his hand, interrupting you. “I know, I know. Just thank me later, okay?” 

♥--------♥--------♥

Fenya's Masterlist

[tokkiiibunny]

Chick Habit | Megumi Fushiguro

12: Yeah I Fuckin'Did It

Words: 1k

Mainlist

Yeah, I fuckin' did it, yeah, I fuckin' said it

Yeah, I meant it

Yeah, I'm here to kill it,

Maybe he got a little carried away by anger... For 5 years.

"You know exactly what you did, drop the act."

"I have no idea, really, I don't know what I did for you to decide to do all this but I think I at least deserve to be told, Why do you hate me so much?"

To megumi you were just faking and hated it, you should be begging for forgiveness, not acting like you didn't know a damn thing about what was going on.

"For what you did to Tsumiki." And you just felt even more confused because you had no idea what he was talking about, Who was tsumiki and what had you done to him?

"Who is Tsumiki?"

It was a genuine question and anyone could notice it, even Megumi, but that didn't make his anger lessen.

"Tsumiki Fushiguro, My Sister, The girl whose life you ruined."

"Megumi, I have no idea who Tsumiki is, God, I didn't even know you had a sister."

"Tsumiki, the girl you made life miserable for months, the girl you harassed to the limit, the girl you met on the bridge." And that's when it came back to your mind after so many years, now you knew who Tsumiki was but you didn't understand why Megumi related what happened to you, although those who had done it had been your friends, you had nothing to do with it.

"i-"

"Oh so now you remember." Megumi had a bitter smile on his lips, he hated you, he hated you so much that it hurt.

"I had nothing to do with it, I never met anyone on any bridge." It was true and honestly you had no reason to lie anymore, it's not that you had anything to protect, you had nothing left.

"Don't lie, damn it, your name was on that note, I saw it, you were the one who tricked it into going that night Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about." Seeing how you continued to act so confused and deny what happened only made him angrier, he hated that you acted like a fucking angel

"I know what you're talking about but because I found out what happened, Because you think it was my fault?" You spent months wanting to find a reason and now that he had given it to you you didn't know how he related to you.

"What fucking part of 'your name was on that note' don't you understand?" Megumi was aiming to yell in your face.

"They told me they used a fake name, they didn't tell me they used mine."

You tried to explain but to megumi you were still a liar.

"Don't act like you weren't a part of that. They were your friends, you were with them, you're not much different from them."

"Megumi I understand that you're angry but I was never part of that plan, I didn't even know about it until everyone found out." This time he was the angry one and you were the one who kept calm, not that you didn't care but you were too tired and didn't have an ounce of the energy needed to replicate the aggressive energy that megumi was having.

"Don't lie."

"I'm not lying to you. What other proof do you have other than that you saw my name there?" You saw how little by little his posture fell and his expression was transformed into one that you could not understand.  "None, because I didn't plan it, I didn't do it, I wasn't there."

"Yn..." 5 years, 5 years making up rumors about you, 5 years wishing to destroy you, 5 years Completely obsessed with you. All this and perhaps he was not right.

"So you did that for something you didn't even bother to confirm? You ruined my life for something you thought I did." You didn't have the energy to fight, but the more you reflected, the more upset you became. All this for nothing, all this because he was too angry to investigate further.

"They were your friends, that's enough to get you involved." As always he refused to accept that he had been wrong, there had to be something more, there had to be something that involved you, something that justified all this.

"I surrounded myself with the wrong people when I was 14 years old, I made bad decisions but I never hurt anyone, you did all this because I was wrong."

"I was angry! She's my Sister" Megumi didn't understand why he felt the need to justify what he had done, he had never regretted anything And he didn't want this to be the first time.

"yeah I understand that but It was 5 fucking years ago, you had 5 damn years to confirm it and you didn't, You assumed it was my fault and waited to destroy me."

"Yn."

"I don't want you to ever touch me again, I don't want you around, I don't want you toe even see me again."

"Just listen to me, You were their friend and-." He was losing his composure more than he would like and that defiant and cruel attitude was wavering.

"I was desperate to have friends! I had been alone all my life and I saw nothing more than the superficial." You didn't owe him an explanation, you didn't owe it to anyone, you were wrong, you were stupid but in no way did you deserve all this.

"Maybe you should have thought better of it."

Taglist:

"Maybe you should have thought better before doing all this to me."  You didn't want to talk about him, you didn't want to know anything about him, you were angry but you were also tired and it was because of him. "Get out of here megumi, please."

Taglist (open):

@soobinbunnie5 @anonymity-222 @hanakalovesbnha @starrysho @sylussss7 @Shortcakebbg @Szired @briezy04764

[nexstage]

Stars and Pyramids AU

Planning a new life

The first time Mabel saw someone shaking hands with Bill Cipher was during her first summer in Gravity Falls. Gideon, who had become an obsessive, callous jerk, somehow possessed the knowledge to summon the dream demon, and after doing it, made a deal with him to take over the shack.

Thank goodness they stopped him. Then, Dipper made a deal with Bill because she didn’t help him decipher the password of the old laptop they’d found. The contents of the note still sent shivers to her core due to how close she was to losing her brother. Which reminds her of the fire covering her pinky and Bill’s as they sealed the deal.

She had made a deal just like Gideon and Dipper. Did that make her a bad person?

But wait, Gideon did it because he was a greedy jerk. Dipper, because he was desperate and she didn’t help him due to the play to impress Gabe. What was the point of this deal? Helping Bill and his friends to escape a dying dimension; however, was that as bad as Gideon’s purpose or worse?

“Ehem, hello~? Earth to Shooting Star? Have you lost your mind already? I mean, great for you. The more madness, the better but let’s postpone the chaos party until we are out of this place.” Bill’s voice was the final hit that broke the ice of surrealist shock as she slowly accepted that yes, this was real. Bill reached out to her for help. Bill was desperate enough to ask for her help. They had made a deal already.

“…I… I made a deal with Bill Cipher!”

“Wow, kid. Thank you for the surprise. I know I wow you just like anybody else but trust me you’re not the first nor the last one. I can even tell you some dirty family secrets in exchange for another deal.”

Welp, now that reminded her why she must step up in her new role. “Whatever they are, I’m sure they’re lies. We must think of a way to get you all out of here. Any ideas?”

Oh, he had some. His mind traveled back to the many attempts to get the Rift out of Sixer’s hands only for his former pet to outsmart him every. Single. Time! His damn paranoia had leveled up each one of the defense mechanisms of the shack. Much worse, even if had deceived Shooting Star to lead him to the shack while he possessed Blendin, Stanford would’ve suspected the sudden appearance of a time police officer asking for the rift. Then he would’ve tackled him, shown the yellow eyes to everyone, and then shot the buffoon in the head.

What an irony, uh? That of all the people he was asking for help it had to be the same person who, unbeknownst to them, had ruined his plans. Oh well, at least Shooting Star wouldn’t screw this up. He hoped so.

“There are two ways,” He began. This was incredibly risky, saying a truth that he shared with Stanford without the fool knowing it but maybe it would gain him some points with his niece. Honesty points as she’d like to say. “One of them is in the hands of Stanford. He’s protecting with nails and teeth so it’s impossible to reach it. The other way is…a biiiiiiit controversial” ‘More like you’ll hate it because I did that to your brother’

“What is Grunkle Ford protecting?”

Ok, this might either push her more into his side or blow up in his face. “After he was brought back from the multiverse, a bit of the other side -that is, what was on the other side of the portal- was poured into your world. It’s like a little floaty mass of space and, to prevent its expansion, Stanford built a snow globe-shaped device to contain it. I called it the Rift; heck, I bet Sixer had the same idea. Anyway, he and I weren’t the only ones who know about this, your brother does too.”

Mabel’s eyes almost popped out of her sockets. “Dipper was told about it? Why didn’t he tell me anything?”

Bill laughed both cruelly and bitterly. “Welcome to the club of being wronged by Stanford Pines, kid! I mean, you think just because you inadvertently helped in bringing him back, he would be cool with you as much as he is with Pine Tree? Pffft, fat chance. Favoritism is the same as calculating pros and cons for him. And you don’t even wanna know how much he projects into you and your brother just because he can’t speak like a normal guy with Stanley for five seconds.”

He feigned watching his non-existent nails, peeking subtly at the teenager as his words penetrated her psyche. They were aware of what happened back then; what he said landed her into uncomfortable, painful memories. Memories she pushed away every time she was asked about Dipper, about his whereabouts and what he was doing.

She had to make up a convincing story for her classmates as Ford’s comment ‘Isn’t it suffocating?’ echoed in her head whenever she remembered Dipper’s choice of staying in Gravity Falls.

It didn’t get better with their parents’ divorce. They were so wrapped up in their own issues and staying as far away from each other as ever that Dipper being in Oregon barely elicited a reaction from them.

As the silence stretched, Bill glanced at Mabel wondering if maybe his movement might have hit a bit too hard. His suspicions were confirmed as the teenager bit her lower lip, holding back tears. He’d better put a stop on that or they’d be here forever.

“Hey, come on, Shooting Star. Cheer up!” One of his fingers lifted her chin softly. “So, Sixer thinks you’re not good enough, so what? It’s not that he’s better. I mean, the portal, where did it come from? His head? Nope! From mine. I gave him lots of ideas and an infinite well of knowledge.” Hey smirked in his usual salesman persona. “I can do the same for you.”

“…Cramming books and nerd stuff into my head?” She cringed at her response.

“If that’s what you want, sure. However, first, we need to find a solution to my relocation issue.”

The sadness in her eyes was replaced by determination as she recalled what she’d asked him moments ago. “You’re right. Well, the Rift is not useful if we can’t get closer to it, and I don’t want to get in trouble with…Grunkle Ford,” she mentioned his name almost inaudibly. “What’s the other way?”

This might get explosive. “…The other way, is that I possess some—“

“Oh no, you won’t! You even planned to throw my brother’s body from the water tower!!” Brilliant, she had to keep that in mind. Maybe the note was overdoing it although it was fun.

“I’m sorry, kid, but those are all the options I have. No wait, there is also building me a new portal but that would take lots of time, a huge brain, and going to Gravity Falls which may attract Stanford to our hideout, and bam! Demon hunting will be on the go!”

A lightbulb flashed inside Mabel’s head. “What about inanimate objects? Like action figurines or dolls?”

“Kid, that’s a great idea!” She smiled. “If you want to use me as your piece of entertainment on Halloween, which nope. I’m the host and soul of the party, not the clown!” She frowned.

“But can’t you make your own persona? You know, like a body to possess? Much better than taking over someone’s body.”

Bill’s eye twinkle in delight. “You are more clever than I expected, Shooting Star. Yes, there are some spells to create a body of any kind. Flesh and blood, crystal, rock, lava, you name it. But it needs some stuff: a place filled with magic or supernatural energy, specific runes, the vital force of the user of the spell, and a clear image of how the body will look. And seeing that we’ll also possess those vessels, the first spell must be connected to one of permanent linking.”

“Linking?”

“Possessing a body is different than to be linked to one made on your own. By linking yourself to a vessel, you make it your new body.”

“And what will happen with the old one? Does that mean you won’t be a triangle anymore?” Suddenly, a huge realization hit her. If Bill created a human body to inhabit, would that mean he wouldn’t have his powers anymore? Or would they be weakened? Weakened or non-existent, such an event reduced the danger of having him on Earth. And if the same happened to his friends, much better!

Bill, on the other hand, didn’t like where this was going. While escaping the void hadn’t left his mind, becoming a lesser being, powerless and vulnerable, made him gag. How could he keep taking advantage of idiots with his deals if he didn’t inflict fear on them or make a stellar first impression? His original form had everything he needed. Power, immortality, no need to eat, sleep, or even breathe. The whole jackpot!

Sure, he loved the sensations whenever he possessed someone but it was way more convenient than having a body on his own that couldn’t take a single hit. Humans were experts on fragility so what was the point of a body so squishy? Even jellyfish handle pain better than them!

He bet, no no, it was clear as water that Shooting Star might want to take advantage of such detail. Having Bill as Bill put a damper on her lame concept of “safety”; having him as a human would put both on the same level. As equals! Eugh! First dead than that!

‘Not if I keep some key details of the ritual secret from her though’, Bill contained his glee at the idea. Shooting Star wanted to help him be a human. Sure why not? But his new body would be created on his terms.

“Welp, kid, I think we have a plan in mind, don’t we? But if we want it to be successful, I must guide you through everything.”

“How? We can only communicate through dreams. And no, I won’t let you possess anyone.”

“Didn’t you mention dolls? I can use one of them and from there we can handle the rest.”

“Can I do it even if I’m not in Gravity Falls?”

“Unless you have some specific runes connected to the vessel, you can’t. Your home is too weak in magic standards, although it’s not impossible, there must be no one when we do this or we’re bust.”

“I’ll make you a plushie,” Uh, what? “You need to give me the runes, I’ll write them on paper and put them inside it. Then you can possess it.” Not bad.

“It has to look like me. If you color it green or whatever, I’ll burn your house.”

“You won’t. You’ll be a plushie,” She said it so confidently Bill would’ve been impressed if it weren’t for the slight anger and annoyance at her bluff.

“Put all your attention to this, Shooting Star. The runes must be written perfectly and in the next order.” He raised his hands, blue fire erupting from them, summoning a ball of azure flames that took the shape of strange symbols.

As Mabel memorized each rune, a part of her unconsciously wondered if Ford and Dipper knew about these symbols, if this was another lesson only they shared between them, or if she had been chosen to be told about spells and magic so ancient, so mysterious than not even her uncle could understand.

[siderealxmelody]

------

He'd been sloppy, too much staying within the wards. The Vennin were dead around them, he'd manage to thread some power into a a Wyvern to bend it to his will. Asteri magic he hated but he would use what he had. It had tore into his shoulder, his vision swam. He barred his teeth, he didn't need the healers here in Samara.

He cast outward, finally reaching her.

Come to me. I need you here. His magic was unlocked and he's struggling. He's involved with Lilith's daughter. That's -

He cut off, the pain lancing through him. He glared at the healer.

"Leave."

"Sir you're hurt and -"

"And I still have my fucking eyes. Out."

Here it hurt more, here the scent not having her was making his control snap. He bit back a cry as he forced himself higher. He exhaled, looking to Xaden.

"You're hovering. She'll come so if you're planning to avoid her I'd do it -"

"Sebastian you could have died."

He looked to Violet, Catriona leaned against the wall, watching. He tried to shrug and hissed. He pulled at the bond harder.

Come faster, what's taking you so long Natalia? I promise you you're pretty without dolling yourself up for me.

"Yes, but I didn't and we now have a Wyvern to practice on."

He'd taken them maybe not a hotspot but active enough to see how they work together. He'd slaughtered most of them with his lightning, taking a more daring approach to spear into the wyvern's mind to make it do his bidding.

This is what he got for wanting to show off.

"You're all afraid, you can't be afraid. You have fight smart and not let - "

Sebastian's lips quirked up and he winked, more relaxed with this version of Xaden. This one he knew and understood. Selfish as it was to know that, it made sense how he was. This was how Natalia had been just before her Culling Trials.

That gave him an idea.

"Well she isn't here to glare at me, so if you won't tell neither will I."

He would, he'd tell her everything. He cast again, sparks flexing over his fingers as he hit the wards again. If they weren't so damn useful with the Vennin he would have torn them down.

Sebastian looked to Violet.

"The wards are....they're artificially dulling the edge of it. He's been out since all this right? It's probably been more intoxicating, easier to harness and channel which was probably a problem if he can't control it."

He didn't like talking about Xaden as if he wasn't here, but if he wasn't going to ask the right questions he'd speak to someone was.

He grimaced and leaned back. He didn't now how sheltered Violet was of everything her parents had gone through - but he supposed this was going to be a shock either way.

"The process is systematic abuse. He's probably of the age that Natalia, I and your parents were when we did our, they're called Culling Trials. The Valg as a whole aren't...well they're not known for their kindness to about anyone. At 19 the 20 you're starved, hunted and forced to fight with your magic. The objective is not to die, and survive a week like that. They want their children strong and worthy of their House protection."

He held up his own hand, unglamouring the ring on his finger. The gem was the darknest a gem could go, an onyx with a sapphire in the middle, as if floating on an night sky.

"Here's mine, the sapphire is the gem of my Asteri magic. You still call them gods right? Never met Amarai but Malek was a peice of work according to my grandfather. The pearls represent my mate's court - Summer, she hand raised them for me isn't it pretty?"

He smiled wistfully at it before glamoring the ring back and leaned toward Violet.

"Before he even gets that far he needs to manifest his soul gem. It's probably onyx like his mother and I, the darker the gem the more power. The Pommel fliers have them still, I'm sure Catriona and Creon have their gems on their person somewhere."

He waved to the wards.

"The wards protect us from the Vennin but it dulls everything else. I can't speak to my mate and I can't access most of my senses till I'm outside of them. They way it feels outside? That's how it's supposed to be, wild and free."

He looked to his son.

"You can feel them right? That's normal, your mother can feel them, so can I if I was outside the wards. I have Valg blood through my mother, so you're probably very powerful if you can control it."

He rubbed at his mating mark, gods he missed her.

"You'd be at the age to feel your pull of your mate too, that would help you anchor yourself. Dragons don't like Valg, they used to hunt them for their scales and eggs."

He touched at Xaden's mental sheilds.

Is there anyone you feel connected to that isn't her? That calms the noise around you?

[merp-blerp]

A Gaylor/Kaylor Interpretation of "But Daddy I Love Him", Despite It Being Obvious, 'Cause Happy Pride

Overblown Analysis Under the Cut ↓

"I forget how the West was won // I forget if this was ever fun // I just learned these people only raise you // To cage you"

The opening line is a reference to a film called How the West Was Won (1962). I'm not well-versed in this film, but I know that older American Western films and the American cowboy aesthetic in general often represent male masculinity, and by extension, male heterosexuality, romanticized into picture-esque imagery of wealthy, cis, white, straight manly men ruling the West through violence. All this despite the fact that historically, many cowboys (not just boys/men, of course, so cow-folk maybe, if that's even a term) were broke queer people, often people of color, trying to survive. Similarly to Taylor, these individuals have had their queer history erased all for the sake of marketability and giving a general audience a more traditionally palatable and relatable portrayal of reality to consume. (For more on this topic, Kaz Rowe has two great videos on queer cowboy history and the queerness of cowboy movies, if that interests you.)

With "how the West was won" not being capitalized like a film title, it seems clear that while she's referencing the movie, she's not directly talking about How the West Was Won (1962). I think this line might hark back to "Cowboy Like Me", a song about Taylor (and her lover) swindling the public into assuming they're straight and the industry "rich folks" into thinking they'll abide by their rules forever. If she continues to beard and swindle she'll win the hearts of the general public more and more, or the hetero "west", but she forgets what the benefits of doing that at the unknowing cost of her happiness were. From my perspective, if Taylor forgets how the West was won, she's saying she forgets what the long-term value of hiding her queerness with straight narratives and beardings had in her mind once upon a time. She forgets if she ever found the beardings/stunts fun in her youth because she has now learned that "these people", likely industry people who have had hands in her career, only closeted her for their own money benefits, not truly caring about her at all.

"Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best // Clutchin' their pearls, sighing, "What a mess" // I just learned these people try and save you // 'Cause they hate you."

I think many songs or moments in TTPD are Taylor envisioning/anticipating what could happen if she were to come out. Obviously, the main source of bigotry against queer people is warped religious beliefs, so the "Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best" are homophobes in this reading, but considering Taylor's fanbase and the feminine names chosen, they could very specifically be swifties who are overprotective of Taylor. Swifties who do deplorable things in the name of protecting Taylor's honor, such as doxxing gaylors online because they disagree with them and see suggesting Taylor's queerness as immoral. These types of swifties will often call the act of speculation on Taylor's queerness "gross" and lean on the reasoning for that being that speculation is invasive, even though Taylor herself has never commented against speculation of her queerness in any way when she very well could if it bothered her. Therefore they have no actual clue if that's how Taylor sees it, it's just their homophobic opinion that the suggestion of queerness is gross and they project the opinion onto Taylor as if anti-speculation should be universal when it's not nearly that simple. They see the act of the Taylor sexuality discourse existing as a mess.

If Taylor is queer, seeing that a number of her fans find queerness disgusting would produce incredibly negative feelings, whether it's anger or sadness. While I don't think every anti-speculation swiftie has these particular feelings towards it (it's complicated and could have a post of it's own), some hetlors hate speculation because they know that it could be correct. If Taylor were out as queer she'd become a "queer thing" they couldn't enjoy the same way anymore; she wouldn't be their mirrorball anymore, and that's terrifying because for many that's Taylor's appeal. If she's queer she's no longer this bestie, big sister, twin from your dreams type of artist to hetlors, she's this "other" that belongs to "others". This subsection of fans try to defend her because they, consciously or not, hate the idea that an assumed "straight" woman could actually be queer and unlike them. And therefore they indirectly hate her. The real her. They'd rather have the brand Taylor Swift because they can relate to it more, so they don't want to see her. "You needed me, but you needed drugs more" (from "COSOSOM"). They try to "save" her from being seen/out 'cause they hate her.

"Too high a horse // For a simple girl // To rise above it // They slammed the door // On my whole world // The one thing I wanted."

Both the "Sarahs and Hannahs" and "Elders" exhibit a sense of superiority Taylor feels like she can't rise above by being simple. Many anti-speculation people see their opinion as the politically correct thing to do. Therefore it's superior to speculation in their eyes, despite the fact that speculation can be a critical step to finding other queers and even can be used as a form of coming out—letting people speculate. They're on "too high a horse". The attempted Lover coming out was very simple, with Taylor flagging rainbows without an obvious showing of potential contempt she had for the industry that closeted her, unlike TTPD, which exhibits much anger towards it. But the simplicity was partly why the coming out attempt didn't work. Taylor's general fandom still viewed her flagging as nothing because she didn't say anything and harassed gaylors while the SBs foiled the biggest part of her plan that would've freed her. In "I Hate It Here", Taylor mentions that she only "rise(es) above" her closeting in her fantasies for now. Instead of getting to come out, her closet door was slammed shut. Her identity, her whole world, was still in the shade of the closet.

"Now I'm runnin' with my dress unbuttoned // Scrеamin', 'But, Daddy, I love him' // I'm havin' his baby // No, I'm not, but you should see your faces"

The title of the song is pretty unanimously agreed to be a reference to The Little Mermaid (1989), which of course came out the same year Taylor was born. Arial yells this at her father when he discovers her hidden interest in the human Prince Eric before destroying her collection of human artifacts.

It's worth remembering that Arial in the film says that she is 16 years old, the same age Taylor was when her first album was released. Arial is still at an age where she would still be under her father's thumb, as she's a child, even if she doesn't feel like one. Meanwhile, Taylor is now in her 30s. She should not need her father's permission to have an interest in someone. The whole scene Taylor paints with these lyrics seems comical, Taylor running after and begging her father as her clothes come undone, maybe because she was caught in the act of making love to this "him", or she's going erratic and ripping her clothes off. Then she screams that she's having her apparent lover's baby. The story becomes more and more soap opera levels of dramatic till Taylor pulls the wool from over the listeners's eyes and reveals that it was all a lie once the facade becomes too crazy to believe unless you're gullible. It's easy to see just the "No I'm not" as a direct response to simply "I'm havin' his baby", but I think it's a response to the whole first half of the chorus. She's not a teen girl begging to be allowed to date, she's an adult.

"You should see your faces" directed at the listeners could be Taylor teasing about the shock on their faces at her wild story or the fact that it's a lie, but it could also be Taylor mocking the look of enjoyment the listener gets from her fake story, which represents her real life beard narratives. The dress unbuttoned story getting crazier and crazier seems to mirror how the real-life bearding narratives get more and more fantastical, at least in my opinion. With the current "Tayvis", Taylor is selling a high school fantasy of the popular cheerleader-type girl getting with the football boy, even though Taylor has never truly been the popular cheerleader-type in reality; she was a bullied nerd during her actual schooling days and has always portrayed herself as separate from the "cheer captain", instead being "on the bleachers" in "YBWM". Then there's the Joe vs. [Rat-dacted] narrative, where Taylor was reportedly head over heels for Joe for 6 or so years, with him not caring that she was famous and seeing her for her, till they suddenly "broke up" and the narrative changed to him stifling her. Then it changed again to her actually being deeply in love with [Rat-dacted] the whole time instead, with Joe simply being an elongated rebound type of relationship. And it gets even more confusing when you try to attach the original [Beard-DJ-dacted] → Tom Hiddleston → Joe Alwyn narratives into the mix. It's all just unraveling into less and less sense. Yet the Sarahs and Hannahs probably don't question a thing because the narrative is still straight, so what's there to ponder?

TTPD's first ever easter egg was "red herring", which is a tool meant to mislead the audience in storytelling, but an attentive audience member might be able to see past it, especially in time/hindsight. The dress unbuttoned story is a red herring to distract from the real story Taylor illustrates in the next half of the chorus, especially when the song is titled after the lie portion of the song. And by extension, in her whole career, all of Taylor's beards, many of the he/him pronouns in songs, lyrics like "your buzzcut and my hair bleach" in "Dress", and songs like "London Boy" and "So High School" are thinly veiled red herrings that keep up the surface appearance of straightness to distract yet invite the listener to dig deeper into the true queer stories in her music once noticed.

"I'm tellin' him to floor it through thе fences // No, I'm not coming to my senses // I know he's crazy, but he's the one I want."

Taylor now tells the listener what she's actually doing. She's telling her lover to run away, presumably along with her, especially with the song's end depicting the lovers returning to "town", but more on the ending later. The lover is still masked by he/him pronouns, but the story is still the truth. (While I do think the "he/him" in this song is in actuality a "she/her", it is interesting to view the first half of the chorus using "he/him" as a part of the red herring Taylor is telling.) In the lie, Taylor begs for her father's permission to love, but in reality, and in a lot of her music throughout her career, Taylor disobeys any disapproving peers and flees with her lover. They could either be fleeing out of the closet, or fleeing away from disapprovers. "Floor it through thе fences" reminds me of "And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences" from "Peace". The phrase "swing for the fences" means "to make a big effort to do something that is very impressive or important, but is difficult to achieve, especially if there is a risk of failure" according to Cambridge Dictionary. Both coming out and being in a glass closet can pose many risks. So Taylor telling her lover to floor it or rush through the fences could mean to run away quickly or have the double meaning of taking a big risk, like coming out or flagging when they should be closeted, along with herself doing the same.

The recurring storyline of running away and/or disregarding naysayers has appeared in songs like "Love Story", "Run", "Call It What You Want", "Speak Now", "MAATHP", "Down Bad", the unreleased "Better Off" from as far back as 2005, and so much more. Going against the grain is her reality. In her music she was never "Scrеamin', 'But, Daddy, I love him'", or just pleading to be accepted, but always running away, dreaming of an environment where she could be accepted, and refusing to come to her senses and just letting the cookie crumble passively. But her beards don't reflect the stories in her songs beyond the surface-level red herrings. The first half of the chorus is the flimsy public narrative, and the second half is the reality.

Taylor's lover is described by her as "crazy". Asylums are a recurring theme throughout this album. Historically and culturally people who were put into asylums were often dubbed "crazy" and mistreated rather than receiving the help they might've needed if they were truly in need at all, as some people who were put into asylums weren't even ill, just perceived as such, similar to queer people who are seen by homophobes as ill when queerness is natural. In this album, asylums represent the industry that raised Taylor and treated her like she was crazy. In the song "TTPD", both she and the lover call themselves crazy, so she and the lover are both in the asylum or industry.

From a specifically Kaylor perspective, Karlie Kloss, particularly in the years before meeting Taylor, has always seemed "louder" than Taylor. And not quite as disciplined in keeping her straight narrative(s) up properly (i.e. Kar recently posting an anniversary pic about being with Josh for 10 years when it's supposed to be 12 years by now. But who has she allegedly been with for 10 years as far as the public's known for sure...?). Through my interpretation of Tay's music, it seems like Kar is Taylor's driving force to potentially come out, as her albums up to 1989 seemed more keen on staying caged and being okay with it, but albums after that have felt like attempts to at least claw on the closet door. Being in a committed relationship with someone willing to be loud might risk Taylor's safety in the cage, so being with someone as "crazy" as Kar is a risk, but she's the one she wants.

"Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid // Tendrils tucked into a woven braid // Growin' up precocious sometimes means // Not growin' up at all."

Taylor mentions growing up precocious in at least 3 different songs on TTPD, this, "The Bolter" and "I Hate It Here". It's definitely something we're supposed to pay attention to. In "You're Losing Me" Taylor mentions being a pathological people pleaser, which lines up with her talk of trying to be the perfect "good girl" who didn't force herself onto people since childhood in Miss Americana. Often, AFAB people who behave this way are told that they're being very mature by being quiet, whether it's quiet in general or quiet on world issues instead of speaking up. As someone who also grew up precocious, it was always easy to get told you were doing a good job by just sitting pretty and never expressing anything. But these traits might begin to backfire the older you get as you suddenly realize that you never got to be a child, but you also weren't really an adult when you were called "mature for your age", so you might end up regressing in a way or just confused on how to actually be an adult properly.

If you're like me, you believe Miss Americana was originally meant to be a coming-out documentary, or a documentary meant to explain Taylor's journey with her sexuality, released after coming out, before those plans were foiled. Her early developmental years are likely a part of why she isn't out yet. She wants to come out in a very specific way that's more than "just saying it". Especially since theirs a lot at stake with her coming out the bigger she gets, the more employees she has to make sure get paid, and the more she has to protect her family. She can't be a "simple girl" and "rise above it" at the same time because the situation is way more delicate now than it was during the Lover era.

In Miss Americana and "The Archer", Taylor mentions feeling like she is stuck at the age she got famous, 16. If we see the lie of the first chorus representing her flimsy bearding narratives, then she could mean that she never grew up into being openly queer. Since she began writing songs, Taylor has always written her songs with the knowledge that one day they could be publicly heard. Even unreleased songs that are very queer-coded like "Welcome Distraction" still have he/him pronouns, just like the ones she writes to this day. Songs that don't have romantic he/him pronouns or are about a girl have always had plausible deniability, such as "Angelina" or "Question...?". Even if it's just a bit of that plausible deniability, heteronormativity makes it really easy to hide when you do it as well as Taylor does.

The mention of braids calls back to "Seven", a song in-part about childhood. Tendrils can be a part of a plant, which reminds me of "Please picture me in the weeds // Before I learned civility", which could be interpreted as Taylor being more wildly queer in some way when she was young before learning how to act straighter for her own good. Tendrils can also be stray pieces of hair, or metaphorically queerness, that was hidden in a straight, rigid braid. I also think this has to do with "Peter", a song I believe to be about Taylor apologizing to her inner queer child for taking so long to come out; when Taylor began hiding her queerness in her music, I'm sure she thought it would just be till the world was ready to hear her truth some years down the line. And if the song "Change" is anything to go off of, she might've been optimistic that that was soon. "I thought it was just goodbye for now // You said you were gonna grow up // Then you were gonna come find me". But here we are over 20 years after she began writing songs and she's still writing in the same closeted way, for now. The southern drawl (if that's the phrase I'm looking for), or her choice to use words cut short like "Runnin'", "'bout", and "ain't" during this song's most tense moments make this feel like her younger, pre-pop self-speaking up finally.

(As a bit of an extra tidbit, these lines really remind me of lyrics from "Welcome Distraction" that I think are meant to be, "A life and a plan and I wasn't gonna stray // Swore I’d never let a man in my way", but I get different results when I look up the lyrics due to its unreleased status. Younger and current Taylor possibly singing similar lines really expands on the never-growing-up aspect of this reading.)

"He was chaos, he was revelry // Bedroom eyes like a remedy // Soon enough, the elders had convened // Down at the city hall // 'Stay away from her' // The saboteurs // Protested too much // Lord knows the words // We never heard // Just screeching tires and true love."

The "he" being in actuality a "she" is the reading that makes the most sense for this song overall. With all the religious imagery in the song, religious elders would not object in this particular way so hard against a guy and a girl wanting to be together. It makes the most sense when Taylor's lover is thought of as another woman. If the lover is a woman, she would definitely represent chaos for Taylor, not necessarily because of her personality but through the way Taylor wants her and the trouble that want could cause. The lover was not a part of the plans laid. But the lover is also the celebratory feeling of being in love, and the celebratory feeling of pride you get from being queer once you've found someone who you can be yourself around and be proud of yourself with. Revelry.

If we think of the "elders" being the SBs specifically, than them meeting each other at the "city hall" could be them coming together to steal Taylor's masters, which recked her plans to come out the same day the news broke out.

Since I'm personally a late-stage Kaylor, I see the saboteurs saying "stay away from her" as the perpetrators and believers in the Kaylor feud, spreading the never-confirmed rumor that Karlie betrayed Taylor as if it's fact and being overprotective of Taylor by demanding Karlie stay away from Taylor since she's a "trader".

Alternatively, the saboteurs could be telling Taylor to stay away from Karlie, as even though there have been other rumored relationships with women Taylor has had, Karlie has always been the strongest suspect and the most well-known since Taylor was never really able to keep the straight facade up as well as usual around Karlie (i.e. Kissgate). I doubt this reading of the line a bit more purely because the lover has been constantly dubbed "him" through the song and it'd be odd to switch up here, but I thought it was worth mentioning. I'll move on with the former interpretation for this reading.

"Protested too much" is a reference to Hamlet by William Shakespeare. In the context of the play, Queen Gertrude says this as a reaction to Hamlet's play trying to weasel guilt out of her and mainly her new husband for marrying so soon after the original King's murder. When the queen in the play says she'll never remarry after her husband dies, Gertrude tells Hamlet, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks", meaning she thinks the queen in the play is putting on a front that shouldn't be believed. If Taylor believes the saboteurs are "protest(ing) too much" it could mean that she believes that they aren't being honest about their stance against the lover. That their hatred for them and calls for them to go away would falter if time were to prove their stance wrong. In "Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus", Taylor says "If you wanna tear my world apart // Just say you've always wondered", which I take as Taylor knowing that when she comes out, despite the strong rejection of her planting seeds to her truth right now, people will say that they had always suspected that she was queer once they feel socially safe to do so post coming out. If the lover in this song is Karlie, then it's not hard to imagine the saboteurs suddenly backtracking their hate in order to praise Kaylor and Karlie after Kaylor becomes publicly cordial again.

With "Lord knows the words // We never heard/ // Just screeching tires and true love" Taylor and her lover ignore the saboteurs's hatred and carry on with their love. Or they ignore the hypocritical words of "praise" for their relationship that'll come when they come out. I'm more inclined to believe the former due to the mention of "screeching tires", a car reference. I mentioned in my "Champagne Problems" analysis that vehicles often represent the closet/running away from the public for Taylor, so if she and the lover are enjoying "screeching tires and true love", they're making the best of their closet as they run away from the rest of the world for the time being, like how they do in "Paris".

"I'll tell you something right now // I'd rather burn my whole life down // Than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin'. // I'll tell you something 'bout my good name // It's mine alone to disgrace // I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing"

I believe Taylor is gearing up to come out, reveal at least aspects of her reality, and expose the harm the industry has done to her and maybe even others. This line syncs up perfectly with the "Burning Lover House" theory, with Taylor eliminating all the red herrings of her past albums and telling her truth. If Taylor's career and good name goes down the toilet due to her being herself, it'll be her doing and she wants to be in that much control of herself. The "vipers dressed in empath's clothing" are the fans who harass and harm people like Karlie all in the name of defending and "empathizing" with Taylor, even though Taylor has never okayed that behavior and has spoken against it. The vipers pretend to empathize with the situations they think Taylor's been in and her music, but their behavior shows they don't truly see eye-to-eye with her and what she stands for. She's done catering to them.

"God save the most judgmental creeps // Who say they want what's best for me // Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see // Thinkin' it can change the beat // Of my heart when he touches me // And counteract the chemistry // And undo the destiny // You ain't gotta pray for me // Me and my wild boy and all of this wild joy // If all you want is gray for me // Then it's just white noise, and it's just my choice."

Taylor calls out the "judgmental creeps" who hurt people in the name of her. Her asking God to save the "judgmental creeps" could be sarcasm, but I also know Taylor's a Christian (and maybe catholic. I know she grew up catholic), and as a queer Christian, I know that I tend to fully see homophobia as practically an illness, like how homophobes view queerness as an illness, and hope homophobes find it in their heart to overcome those ailments. I wouldn't be surprised if Taylor felt the same way.

The creeps "Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies" that Taylor will "never see". Doing something sanctimoniously is doing something in a performative way, calling back to the saboteurs protesting too much, being hateful only because it's so normalized in the community, and who are likely going to do a 180 once their hate is no longer in style for the times. If Taylor will never see these soliloquies then she could be saying that she'll never give them the time of day, the "words we never heard" from earlier. A soliloquy is a speech that's said when alone without listeners (they're also famously associated with Hamlet so that ties back to "protested too much"), so these creeps are essentially arguing with the wall, as Taylor turns a blind eye to them no matter how much the soliloquies are made to empathize with her or impress her because they do none of those things.

The creeps think their hateful soliloquies will change Taylor's truth. They think if they pretend Karlie doesn't or never existed in Taylor's life in any way and harass Karlie, then it'll change the reality that they secretly or unconsciously know is true, but it won't. The saboteurs and Taylor's closet-ers can't change who she is and what she has with her lover. If the Sarahs and Hannahs only want the straight, beard-narcotic-giving, grey Taylor Swift™, then their pearl-clutching just becomes white noise to Taylor, and it's her choice to be in screaming color, dazzling in the daylight.

"There's a lot of people in town that I // Bestow upon my fakest smiles // Scandal does funny things to pride, but brings lovers closer."

In my "I Look In People's Windows" analysis, I viewed the "town" as a metaphor for her tour locations and fanbase. Since she's of course performing on tour, Taylor's happiness could definitely be faked if she had to make it. She can do it with a broken heart and her fans wouldn't even notice. The amount of people inside the stadiums when she tours is massive, so it really is a lot. And if her beard is at the stadium, or "in town", she can give them all the fake winks and nods she needs to keep up appearances as the time to come out approaches. "Scandal does funny things to pride" has a double meaning. Scandal can take a shot at your ego or sense of pride. But queer scandal can also make you want/have to hide your urge to be openly queer and proud, as older queer celebs like Rock Hudson had to completely deny their queerness if rumors got out of control for their own safety. Still, scandal, or hardships, can bring lovers closer as they persevere through it.

"We came back when the heat died down // Went to my parents and they came around // All the wine moms are still holdin' out, but fuck 'em, it's over."

I like to see this and the incoming chorus as Taylor predicting the wake of the coming out. She'll burn it down, things in "town" or the fandom will be chaos, and then she and Karlie will return/publicly reunite in the afterglow of it all once the fandom's shock wanes. The narrative of this song is that Taylor and her lover ran away, disobeying Taylor's father figure rather than begging him, but when they return her family accepts everything. Taylor is still seen as at most a "PG-13" artist, accessible to children, so their parents, the wine moms, could still be upset once the heat dies down, wanting Taylor to be a sanitized image for their kids to look up to and still pearl clutching at her queerness. But fuck 'em, the pain of the closet is far behind her and her lover now. It's over.

"Now I'm dancin' in my dress in the sun and // Even my daddy just loves him // I'm his lady // And, oh my God, you should see your faces."

The lie is now gone, as Taylor gets to be joyous with her lover in the daylight, out of the shade, with her Dad accepting. She's possibly surprised by that, with the use of "even". She still mocks the creeps's outrage and shock.

"Time, doesn't it give some perspective? // And, no, you can't come to the wedding // I know it's crazy, but he's the one I want."

As mentioned before, the vipers suddenly backtracked their hate, as time proved their actions wrong, but no matter how much they might kiss up now, Taylor for the rest of the song continues to mock them with the post-chorus and outro. Especially with "Tayvis", her fans have been invited to vicariously and happily experience her "relationships" through her, despite her constant singing of private relationships and disapprovers. But the majority of her fans are not invited to her real relationship, the one she truly keeps private. No, they can't come to the wedding.

I like how "he's crazy" changes to "it's crazy". Taylor knows that the post-coming-out situation will be crazy, especially if she plans to expose an awful, buried side of the industry in some mass coming out with others as some theorize. But she wants her lover and the things that come with the freedom.

Thanks for reading!

[xxplastic-cubexx]

🧙‍♀️🐈‍⬛