hystericalend

[hystericalend]

this is extremely underdeveloped and just a random thought but imagine sieun was the one put in the coma by beomseok instead and suho is the one who has the ep8 crashout.. suho so at his limit-- BEYOND his limit, he forgets everything abt "not crossing the line" and actually fucking kills beomseok

by accident. i don't think i could see him genuinely murdering someone in cold blood but i do think suho is physically very capable of killing someone accidentally. that's what the line is for. that's what the mma training is for. it's surprisingly easy to kill someone, when you're blinded by grief. easy as beomseok's head hitting the corner of the desk and not getting up when he hits the floor.

accident or not, beomseok is dead and everything very quickly spirals out of control. maybe a beating could be covered up, but murder? murder has him put in juvenile prison.

and how fucking SAD would that be?? sieun's future on hold, suho's forever tainted by the blood on his hands. and there being this huge, gaping divide between them. suho rots in prison hating himself for not seeing the signs earlier, wondering if he could've changed things if he'd known, wishing he could've been there to protect sieun, fucking hating himself for crossing the line and killing the boy that he should've helped before it ever got to this point.

he asks his grandmother to visit sieun and keep him updated, desperate for any news about his condition. every week it's the same. still in the coma. no idea when he'll wake up.

and suho tries to be good. he needs to be on his best behaviour, show remorse, be compliant and respectful and show that he can be rehabilitated so that he can get out and be by sieun's side where he should've been before it ever got this far. but the longer he's in prison the harder it is. he gets beaten, spat on, shit-talked, abused by both the inmates and the prison guards who should be keeping order, not stoking violence for entertainment. but suho's killed someone. he deserves this company.

be good. get out. be with sieun.

"so i was talking with one of the guards," -- one of suho's cellmates. the broken ribs are from him. the bruise colouring suho's cheek is from his friend snickering at suho from across the room. "and they happened to let slip what you were in here for. murder. didn't think you had it in you!"

suho hadn't told anyone. no matter how much they beat him. the "showing remorse" part of his plan to get out as quickly as possible is easy. the guilt hurts more than anything anyone in here could do to him. he tries to keep a straight face. he can't let them get to him. not now.

"but they also told me something else," the guys laughs. "that before you killed that guy you put someone else into a coma. what was he? practice?"

be good. get out. be with sieun.

"you know i've only got a couple months left," he goes on. "you want me to give the vegetable a visit when i'm out?"

he leans in close and grips suho's jaw, forcing his eyes up to meet him.

"maybe i could finish him off for you."

suho tried so hard to be good. he really, really tried.

but people just keeping crossing the fucking line.

nobody messes with suho after he beats 2 of his cellmates so badly they're both hospitalised for several fractures and faces so fucked up they'll never look the same. it doesn't make things better. every week he gets the same news. sieun is still asleep and suho is still in prison.

alone.

[hystericalend]

hello hello im back on my sieun has an all-girl friend group in university hc and today i offer: how exactly i think sieun got dragged into the group in the first place

(more here and here if ur curious abt my previous yapping)

so. sieun has this one early morning lecture that heis always on time for because he wants this particular seat. it's not too close to the front but not so far that he can't hear the professor, perfect distance from the windows etc etc. he picked his seat the first day and has sat there every single lecture since. that's his seat.

there's this girl that sits next to him. she greeted him brightly on the first day and introduced herself, initiating some polite small-talk. he didn't totally give her the cold shoulder (his friends have softened him up enough in that respect) but he's not exactly friendly either.

then one day, sieun shows up late to class, (very rare for him, but that morning a certain someone wouldn't let him leave their bed) but when he gets there, his seat is taken. there's a boy he's never seen before sitting where he always does, very obviously pestering the girl sitting beside him. aka. the girl that is always sitting to sieun. this boy is leaning into her space, greasy hand on her arm, talking and talking and talking despite the very obvious signs that she is not interested. she looks uncomfortable, almost scared and they're not friends, and sieun has barely spoken a word to this girl beyond lending her a pen once or twice, but...

he walks up to them, stares down the guy and without any introduction or greeting just says "that's my seat."

the guy is obviously like ?? uhm hello? but sieun doesn't stop glaring and just repeats. "you're in my seat. move."

and (if it isn't already obvious) mr seat stealer is an asshole, so all he does is laugh and just say: "last i checked there weren't assigned seats. go sit somewhere else."

but sieun doesn't budge. he stares the guy down, pen in hand, and says "move."

the guy makes a show of finding him stupid, huffing and muttering curses under his breath, but it doesn't take much more before he's averting his gaze and standing up to slink away.

when sieun slides into his seat after he's gone, the girl immediately pulls up close and goes omg omg thank you SO much he was so creepy and wouldnt stop bothering me you're a lifesaver. sieun just looks at her straightfaced and is like "ok".

despite him being dry af the girl takes the incident as the ice-breaker to start talking to him so whenever they meet in class she's always like "morning sieun-ah!! how are you??" and despite him him not matching her energy in the slightest (he always responds "fine" and sits down without another word) she isn't deterred and keeps making the effort to be friendly to him.

then one day after class has wrapped up she goes "hey sieun-ah, you know? i feel like i never got to thank you properly for you saving me that day.. you should come with me to a cafe or something and i can buy you a drink!"

and ofc sieun is like "no. it's fine." but like we saw with suho and yeongyi and then with baku and eunjangz he just gets... dragged along anyway.

so he's at the cafe with her sitting down drinking their coffee and some of her other friends happen to come in and see them and are like OMG WHO IS THIS CUTIE?? IS HE UR BOYFRIEND??

and before sieun even gets to shut it down the girl is immediately like no!! i'm just buying him a drink bc he saved me from the creep i told you guys about <3 and hearing that the girls immediately clamber to sit with them and gush over sieun like omg!! that was so nice of you!! she told us about you, you're yeon sieun right? engineering? and sieun is just like... yea...

he ends up staying there for almost an hour getting peppered with questions from all the girls about increasingly personal information, and it's overwhelming yes, but? they're actually really nice? when he answers most of their questions with a blank stare they don't press or get pissed abt his lack of energy they just.. fill the silence with their own answers, making an effort to get to know him without being overbearing. they also make it no secret they think he's cute as hell.

"you have this whole grumpy cat thing going on," one of the girls says. "but i can tell you're really warm-hearted."

sieun goes home that day with 5 girls phone numbers in his phone that have personally-picked strings of colourful emojis affixed to their contact names and he's.....

not mad about it.

when he sees main girlie again the next time they have their morning lecture together she goes "hey me and the girls are going to study in the library after this do you want to join?" and sieun just goes "sure"

(suho is working today and won't be free for hours. he has time to kill anyway)

she looks surprised when he says ok, but it quickly changes to a bright smile and she goes "awesome!! ill text the girls"

when they go to study hall and get their stuff open on the table, he can't help but expect something similar to his past group study sessions. i. e. him studying, and all of his friends doing anything but and disturbing him heavily in the process.

but the girls?? actually study?? like yes they laugh and chat for a bit but they don't bother sieun and do their fair share of notetaking between the scrolling and gossip. i mean of course it makes sense that they care moderately about being good students considering them having gotten into university (a very presitigous university at that) but sieun is kind of impressed. he misjudged them a bit, he thinks. and they're... actually kind of nice to be around.

so sieun just. keeps being around them.

once it becomes very clear that he isn't resistant to their friendly advances the girls eagerly pull him into the fold. he gets added to a groupchat (to which he reads, but never replies) and attends weekly cafe dates and bi-weekly study sessions in the university library. he very quickly becomes close with all of them, as a group and individually, softening up more and more. when they're at their weekly cafe date filling each other in about the latest gossip about who's in the talking stage with who and what happened at the party last weekend sieun actually makes the effort to ask "who?" "what happened?" and the girls lose their minds bc sieun-ah!! you care!!

and its nice. ofc he's still friends with eunjangz (and something more than friends with suho) but they're all on different paths, and he doesn't get to see them nearly as often as he did when they were going to school together. he wasn't lonely at university (he could never be lonely again like he used to be now that he has people waiting for him and constantly blowing up his phone) but his days studying at university are quiet. it's nice for them to have a little colour.

and if anybody dares to fuck with them, they won't know what they're getting into.

(+ bonus ++ suho and eunjangz seeing sieun get notifications from people who have pink hearts and glitter emojis in their contact names like?? who tf?? and sieun is like oh thats _____ from uni. and they're like?? SINCE WHEN ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH GIRLS??

baku immediately wants their numbers ("just one sieun please!!!!"). juntae and gotak are just baffled by the fact sieun was able to make friends other than them. suho acts like he's not jealous even though he very much is.

sieun decides then and there that his two friendgroups should NEVER meet.)

[hystericalend]

weak hero

[hystericalend]

wasn't going to post abt it here bc im ..shy but i wrote a shse oneshot that explores suho's headspace post coma and the latent body image issues he has bc of the muscle atrophy. explicit, 6k, title from how to disappear by radiohead (which i recommend adding to your suho angst playlist if you have one)

give it a read here if you think that might interest you :)

[hystericalend]

hes so stupid... (affectionately)

[hystericalend]

I'm not sure how some people think Suho can't stomach excessive violence. He's simply disciplined. His ‘don't cross the line’ doesn't necessarily stem from moral discomfort but most likely from being an MMA fighter where you're trained to not accidentally kill your opponent in a fight. Because some of the moves taught can absolutely do that. You need to be well versed in the techniques you're using so you don't break an opponent's limbs or worse, their neck, during a match. Knowing when to stop is a must. Suho's likely applying that very principle to any fights he's in. He has the knowledge, training and foresight to see when an altercation might become fatal. Sieun and Beomseok however, do not. They crashout with no thought given to the possible grave consequences of their violence (seen clearly with Beomseok in episode 7). Suho therefore tries keep them from going too far.

[hystericalend]

stop because it actually makes me feel ill everytime i rewatch.. the fact that maybe if they had priorisited getting him help straight away he might never have fallen into that coma. And that, even after waking up from his coma almost two years later, he won't be allowed to talk abt what happened to him because they forced his grandma into silence so his hospital bills would be paid.... ahn suho you deserved so much fucking better.

suho lying on the ground, not breathing, surrounded by businessmen deciding what they should do with his body for god knows how long will never not break my heart he was just a kid

[hystericalend]

shse on a ice cream date except neither of them know it's a date

[hystericalend]

was talking with a friend abt weak hero and we birthed a semi-joking hc that juntae is really into bl and yaoi and how maybe he brings some mangas to the hospital for suho as an effort to bond..... and maybe one of his bl mangas was accidentally left in the pile.... and maybe suho is intrigued by the cover that looks nothing like all the other manga juntae brought him so he picks it up and-

warning. this got way too long. read at your own risk

SO we know juntae's friend group before sieun was all the anime losers so it's not too far of a stretch to assume that he's also into anime and manga and probably has since he was a kid, and when he was 12 or something he accidentally stumbled across a bl manga not knowing what it was. at first he was freaked out bc ?? why are these boys kissing. why are these boys- woah, hey wait. hey wait a second. why am i feeling things. why do i like this.

and boom, juntae the fudanshi is born.

fun. fun. but going deeper, bl manga also being the catalyst for him realising he's gay. he starts buying his favourites and soon has a huge bl manga collection that is actually super meaningful to him because it's his outlet for his queerness that he doesn't get to express elsewhere. and yes he loves baku and gotak and sieun and YES he feels entirely safe with them, but baku and gotak are wrestling each other dudebro straight boys and sieun is emotionally unavailable 99% of the time so even tho he trusts them entirely, he's not sure he's ready to tell them he likes to read abt boys kissing. (and that he'd like to kiss boys too, if any boys were up for it.)

so anyway, he's happily gay and in the closet reading his yaoi, living life, and then everything changes when sieun's friend wakes up.

it's mind boggling to him when he meets the boy in wheelchair, to see with his own eyes the boy they've only heard about in quiet, solemn snatches. he's alive. and holy shit sieun is crying?? oh my god sieun is SMILING???

it takes a while for him to get to know ahn suho properly. the eunjang boys have seen throughout their friendship with sieun how important suho is to him, and think it's probably best if they have their space. they have it for a while, but then a few weeks after suho wakes up sieun tells them suho wants to get to know his friends, so they all nervously crowd into ahn suho's hospital room and introduce themselves.

ahn suho is pale, thin, and looks perpetually tired, but he's alive and he smiles when juntae introduces himself, and juntae's heart aches.

they start accompanying sieun to his suho visits, sometimes all together, sometimes one at a time, and slowly they get to know suho better. one day, it's just sieun and juntae, and while they're sitting with suho talking sieun stands up and says he's going to get them something to eat. juntae immediately panics bc fuck he's never been left alone with suho before?? what if he says something weird?? what if something goes wrong?? but before he can protest sieun has already left the room and it's just the two of them

in an effort to make things less awkward juntae is like, so... how have things been.... and suho immediately goes fucking BORING that's how. and juntae is like ahhhh yeah i can't imagine there's much to do here..

cue suho ranting abt being super bored now that he's gotten so much better and is conscious all day, having nothing to do in between physical therapy. juntae nods along being the empathetic listener he is until he is goes hey maybe i could bring you something? do you like manga?

and suho is like hell yeah i like manga. you got any slam dunk? and even tho his reading taste leans more towards suckin and fuckin than dribbling a ball juntae does have some sports manga sitting at home that gotak lent him so he's like yea! i'll bring it to you

juntae being juntae he doesn't waste time and he's at suho's hospital room the next day with a bag full of mangas like!! hello!! i can't stay but here's the manga you asked for :)) and suho is like damn that was quick thanks juntae.

juntae isn't there when suho goes through what he brought him, finding one manga that doesn't look like it has much to do with sports.

baku and gotak are busy with basketball practice, so the next visit is just juntae and sieun again. the minute they get there suho immediately starts complaining about how he's starving and goes sieun-ah, can you get me some food? plsplssplps. juntae has seen sieun subjected to similar teasing from baku with a 0% success rate, but as he watches sieun is up out of his seat and heading to the cafeteria without another word.

as soon as the door shuts suho turns to juntae with a grave expression on his face.

suho: juntae... i read your manga

juntae: oh!! which ones? did you like them? :D

suho, dramatically pulling the bl manga out of his hospital gown: this one

obviously juntae freaks out immediately and tries to think of an excuse like OMG GDSKJGHDSKG AHH ACTUALLY THAT'S MY SISTER'S I DONT KNOW HOW THAT GOT IN THERE AHAHHA SORRY THAT'S SO AWKWARD but then suho just looks at him dead in the eyes and is like.. can u get me more

and that's how juntae discovers that ahn suho is gay as fuck.

before they can have any real conversation abt it sieun walks in and they both go suspiciously quiet, suho all like ah! sieun-ah! you're back! (not subtle at all) but sieun is sieun so he doesn't press them and they start eating what he got from the cafeteria and talking normally.

the next day, juntae goes to the hospital again. alone.

juntae, slamming open the door to suho's hospital room: U WANT MORE BL??

suho: yea

juntae: WHY???

suho: cause i'm gay

juntae: UR GAY????

suho: yuh

juntae: ME TOO!!!!!

suho: ayo no way!

juntae: YEA :D

suho: :DD did u bring more of that manga with dudes kissing tho

juntae did, in fact, bring more.

like yes this is lowkey a crack hc but it's so cute to imagine juntae and suho having this secret friendship founded on their bl manga book club. juntae being busy with school so they exchange numbers so suho can text him live commentary as he reads and juntae will get texts from him throughout the day like "ayo this shit is fire" and "THEY HELD HANDS" .. and its mostly all fun but as they text more they actually get? super close?? and bc i personally hc suho as knowing he was gay since he was pretty young but not rlly telling anyone its super sweet to imagine him and juntae both finding their first queer friend in each other? like finally having someone to talk to abt stuff like when they first discovered they liked boys, crushes growing up n all that stuff.

juntae admits that suho is the first person he's ever come out to and that nobody else knows he's gay not even sieun and suho tells him that sieun doesn't know he's gay either and juntae is like?? how?? i feel like you guys know everything about eachother and suho is like well yeah it's awkward cause i feel like if i tell him i'm gay i also have to tell him i'm in love with him yk and juntae is like.. you what now..

bc like. he knew. he's not fucking blind, he KNEW there was something queer going on between those two but to have it confirmed so bluntly makes his brain short circuit a little and he immediately goes??? oh my god you have to tell him?? but suho is like ahhh it's complicated... and juntae is like?? HOW?? he literally waited for TWO YEARS for u suho he definitely loves you.. and suho hasn't told anyone this, but as silly as it sounds he's genuinely gotten really close to juntae through the little gay book club thing they have going on that he feels like he can really open up to juntae so he ends up sharing his insecurites abt his condition and still being in the hospital and not wanting to make a move or start something when he's still healing. and juntae is super accepting but assures him that the minute he's ready, sieun will be waiting for him. there's no doubt in his mind that sieun loves him back.

JUST LIKE!! everyone always goes on about suho x baku besties post coma suho x gotak besties but am i crazy if i say i think suho's taste in friends is the quiet ones? like if we look at beomseok and sieun as a pattern i genuinely think juntae would be the one suho would be the closest to among eunjangz aside from sieun, especially if you're like me and look at that connection through a lense of queer solidarity.

AND HOW CUTE IS THAT!! suho and juntae becoming extremely close in private until it inevitably shows outwardly and baku gotak and sieun being absolutely baffled by it?? juntae accidentally dropping in conversation "oh suho told me..." "suho sent me this...." and sieun being like?? since when did you have his number??

and it's so funny to picture sieun being maybe a little bit jealous of their connection bc?? what do they even talk about? how did they get so close?? and trying to be subtle and Not Affected he mentions it to juntae one day offhand like "so how did you and suho get close?" and juntae isnt about to out both of them by saying "he read my bl manga" so he's just like oh you know, we talked. and sieun externally is like, ok cool, but internally just screaming WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU TALK ABT???

(you, sieun. they talk about how suho is in love with you.)

idk, this is a mess. i just think that juntae and suho would be bestfriends and not enough people are talking abt it. if you made it this far you get a cookie (ily)

[hystericalend]

eyes don't lie

[hystericalend]

you ever think about how suho never told sieun that beomseok tampered with his motorcycle. about when sieun asked what was wrong with his leg, suho smiled and said, "It's nothing. don't worry about it," and never told him that beomseok almost got him killed. about how as sieun kept trying to reach out to beomseok and reconnect, suho watched on knowing that beomseok hated him enough to want him dead, but stayed silent and let sieun try because he knew beomseok still meant something to sieun.

cause im thinking about it. a lot.

[hystericalend]

I got restless.

[hystericalend]

guardian angel 💫

[hystericalend]

shse as childhood friends

[hystericalend]

is this not how the scene went?

[hystericalend]

thinking about that final scene in weak hero class 2 again and it’s just... wrecking me. the way suho looks at sieun—so casual, so soft, like no time has passed at all. like they’re just picking up a conversation from yesterday. there’s no anger, no grief in his voice, just quiet warmth as he asks about sieun’s friends. and it’s such a simple question, but it matters. it means something. because suho knows sieun. knows how alone he used to be. how hard it was for him to let people in.

and then sieun—god—he says yes. yes, those are my friends (in his own way, of course). and suho smiles. like really smiles. not because he thinks it’s about him, but because he’s genuinely happy that sieun wasn’t alone while he was unconscious. because the boy he once stood beside, fought beside, nearly died beside, actually found someone else to hold him up when he couldn’t do it anymore. suho missed so much, lost so much—but in that moment, you can see the relief settle in his eyes. like maybe the world didn’t completely fall apart in his absence.

meanwhile sieun is just barely holding it together. his eyes are glassy, lips trembling at the edges, and you know he’s been carrying so much—grief, guilt, rage, loneliness—all of it, knotted up and buried beneath that dead-eyed stare he’s worn all season. and now suho’s awake. suho’s alive. and sieun doesn’t have to hold it all by himself anymore.

and then it happens. he smiles. not the bitter kind. not the tight, polite kind. a real one. full and genuine and so achingly familiar. the same smile he only ever gave suho in class 1—pure and light and a little boyish, like he forgot for a second that the world hurt. and in that one look, you remember exactly who he used to be. who he still is, somewhere under all the blood and bruises and loss.

it’s such a short scene but it says everything. they found each other again. maybe broken. maybe changed. but not beyond reach. never beyond reach.

[hystericalend]

continuing my sieun having an all-girl friend group in university hc ,,,, none of the girls in his friend group are romantically interested in sieun but they are VERY interested in who he is romantically interested in, so he's constantly being pestered abt what his type is or if he's dating anyone or if he finds that girl pretty or, sieun-ah she totally smiled at you, ask for her number!!

at first he mostly ignores them but finally he can't take it anymore and just goes "stop. i'm already dating someone." that ofc IMMEDIATELY backfires bc they all refuse to let it go and want all the details of his "mystery girlfriend" that he's been hiding from them. sieun tries to put it off but eventually their relentlessness makes him cave so he just, pulls out his phone and shows them.

all the girls eagerly crowd around his phone only for the person on the screen not to be a pretty girl, but to be? a boy? he looks around their age. long dark hair, arrogant smile, one eye squeezed shut in a flirtatious wink at the camera. he's hot, really hot, actually (damn), but ?? who is that?

sieun totally straight-faced just says, "my boyfriend. ahn suho."

it takes the girls all of 2 seconds to adjust to the fact that sieun essentially just came out to them and immediately jump to protective friend mode. they demand a time for them to meet this “ahn suho” bc they simply must to determine whether this man is worthy of their dear sieun-ie. (he is.)