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tsuki-sennin · 1 year ago

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*Deep breath* Wahahahaha~! Make way, peons! It's a festival, a festival I say! Coming to Sorashido City whether you like it or not! Wahahahaha! So... Princess Elle of Sky Land is feeling great sorrow? Well now... we can hardly have that now can we?

This tremendous sweet sixteen for Hirogaru Sky PreCure! Is it a worthy telling of such an iconic legend?

Oh, by the way, by the time you're likely reading this, it's the birthday of our very own Tsubasa Yuunagi~!

By the way, here be spoilers! You'd best tread with caution!

-Everywhere I go... I see his face. Tarou-san...

-Bwuh? Oh yeah, Ranborgs.

-And Captain Shalala just dipped.

-By the way Sora, I'm very proud of you for kicking so much ass last episode, you were awesome.

-Ageha, now hardly seems the time for puns.

-The birthday boy grits his teeth.

-Hello, Yoyo-san.

-"What's their fucking deal, Grandma?"

-Light and shadow. Heaven and Hell. North Carolina and South Carolina.

-Ohhhhhh!

-K

-Kira Kira Energy.

-...this feels oddly familiar.

-An apothecary~!

-Papa, Mama, yes~!

-Aw :(

-Kanashimi o taiji shite yu- No Tsuki! Restrain yourself. It's not yet time.

-Uhhhhh, theme song! I forget if I talked about it yet, but it's delightfully hopeful and (as expected of a Toei franchise) masterfully composed. The percussion especially is immaculate, a good percussion section knows exac

-Onitaijin.

-Ohhhh, puppet show~!

-Pretty Princess Butterfly.

-You are very based, Tsubasa. I forgive you, you filthy crimin- *Smack!* Focus!

-Momotaro~!

-We must hurry to Onigashima.

-Well, we could retell the story with an odd cast from previous seasons... Love/Peach would make a good Momotaro just off her name alone, you could make a strong argument for casting Kokone/Spicy or Akira/Chocolat as the dog, Asuka/Flamingo of course could be the pheasant as it's a neorinthe like a flamingo...

-I'm not quite sure who'd be the monkey in this case. ...Ako/Muse, perhaps? I'm genuinely not sure, I only started watching Suite a little while ago, but she does give me monkey vibes. Minori/Papaya'd make a good substitute if you don't think that counts though.

-She shreep

-Puppet play~!

-Don! Don! Donbura ko!

-Don Elletaro~! Fully formed and armed to the teeth!

-Prop recycling~! Wouldn't be a Toei production without it, huh?

-Well, you know how it is, Mashiron! Everybody loves to play with the tropes of fairy tales~! It's why we as a society love Shrek so much. And RWBY... and I guess if you're me, Saber.

-Yooooo! Nippon Ichi!

-Dango~!

-Furry Sora Jumpscare!

-Keep your face out of the kibble and we'll be just fine.

-Free Bread~!

-Elleeeetaro Zan, Elletaro Zan!

-And now... a Haiku.

Light from the blue sky

Caught in the shining prisms

Rainbows gayly form.

-Y'know, Shinichi would be giving Mashiro girl advice. And she'd go for it.

-We're all going pretty quick, eh? Mmmm... Momotaro had to do a bit of walking after.

-...there is a surprising (read: distressing) level of similarity between Tsubasa (Yuunagi, moderate amount of issues) and Tsuyoshi (Kijino, lots of issues).

-Y'know, male character in a predominantly female role, used for comic relief fairly often, being wildly popular among fans on Tumblr... all I'm saying is you might wanna keep an eye on Wing's love life. For his sake, and ours.

-We laughed, we cried, we had wacky misunderstandings, we had insane romance subplots, people died and came back, Kaito was there...

-To the port!

-Onigashima! Where the ogres gather.

-Ohhhhhhh

-There's something about the Underg, huh Granny?

-Elletaro's companions stand resolute in spite of their fears.

-This is the good stuff.

-...apparently the princess isn't quite a big fan. ...give it a few more minutes, it'll be really good.

-Here comes creepy Battamonda~! Who... most assuredly is not a Noto analogue. That's probably better reserved for Captain Shalala or from a certain perspective Kabaton.

-Oniiiiiiiiii~!

-Ageha may be voicing the Oni, but she's definitely no Haruka. ...if anything, she's much more of a Jiro type. Arguably even more so than whatever Fifth Cure we'll be getting.

-Hirogaru-ki!

-The special effects are ruined! Your suit budget is in shambles! The shippers are going apeshit!

-She walks!

-She speaks!

-She's done it!

-Baa~!

-The cloud has lifted.

-For Elletaro! Princess Elletaro~!

-...so uh... where're Sora's parents in all this?

-I don't mean to ruin this nice moment, but I find it a little concerning that they don't seem to have been appearing much.

-BIRDS

-"What up, fellas?"

-Instead of kidnapping, Battamonda prefers a spot of murder.

-Whoa, perfect catch!

-Hell yeah, Prism Punch!

-I love how floaty these fight scenes are.

-Down they go!

-Eat my ass, Battamonda.

-Keep moving forward! The princess says so!

-Wahahahahahahahaha! Shine on, dear companions!

-Whoa! Flash Bang!

-Man, the Sky Mirage just seems like a really neat little toy to play with.

-Into the mirror~! Okay!

-Mermaid Aqua Pot Moment.

-Have you considered maybe you're just a moron?

-Thank you again, Elle-chan.

-Walk style.

-Elletaro-san~! Elletaro-san~!

-Bread...

-So let's get the party started~! Don Don, Iitokomikke~! Tokuige! Ni mune harou ze Brother! WOO!

-Ah, uh, outro, outro! Very catchy, love the rhyme structure, the Butterfly teasing is making me seethe and cope, get your skinny ass in there already babe.

-Mashiron must run! And never look back!

-Now if you excuse me, I do believe I have an installment of a certain other franchise to get back to. One that also involves floating sky kingdoms, ancient legends, knights and heroes, a pig-themed villain, wildly bucking franchise conventions, gender stuff, and horrifying underground monstrosities.

-...look I could've just said "Zelda" and there'd have been no question, but that's okay, see youuuuuu~!

#Hop! Step! Jump! Hero Gals Dream of the Everlasting Sky!#hirogaru sky spoilers #hirogaru sky pretty cure #hirogaru sky precure #precure

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demetriandelibinaryboyfriends · 2 years ago

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I posted 1,052 times in 2022

That's 538 more posts than 2021!

154 posts created (15%)

898 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tugboatdaddywolf

@ivyace

@hallandoates1970topresent

@ancientson

@taguelfright

I tagged 1,038 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#demetri alexopoulos - 546 posts

#eli moskowitz - 508 posts

#elimetri - 479 posts

#demetri cobra kai - 463 posts

#binary boyfriends - 461 posts

#hawk - 423 posts

#hawkmeat - 362 posts

#cobra kai - 154 posts

#allvalley100 - 148 posts

#miguel diaz - 141 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#eli is a fae because you simply cannot tell me that anyone who does their hair like that doesn't have fae energy like. at least a little bit

My Top Posts in 2022:

Season 4, Episode 6: An Extremely Chaotic and Incoherent Review

My favorite episode!!! GET READY FOR HEAD FULL MANY THOUGHTS

The Good:

"Kicks Get Chicks" *is the gayest episode in the entire season* Kicks get DICKS more like

"Sure, we're good for the occasional inspirational moment, but we're not exactly center mat material" HA, love that this fucker is self aware

He knows he's the Comic Relief Guy and he embraces it fully

"He who shall not be named" absolutely LOVE how Demetri just fucking despises Robby now but is trying to be lowkey about it so as not to stir the pot

If he could I'm pretty sure Demetri would pummel this man six ways to Sunday

Once again reminding everyone that Robby paralyzed and nearly killed Demetri's best friend, betrayed his and Demetri's dojo, and then held down and forcefully shaved Demetri's other best friend

Yeah he wants to like...murder Robby at this point honestly

I can't blame him, either--if someone fucked over my bestie, my dojo, AND my crush??? I would indeed be out for blood, yes

The way Demetri looks CRUSHED when Daniel's like "I know you're missing your friends but we have to put the past behind us" :( :( :(

He just wants his boyfriend back god bless

Wow no wonder Tory's fucked up, with an aunt like THAT

GOOD LORD

This season is kinda making me love Tory, I'll admit

I never thought I'd see the day but here we are

SIAHDZUIYVDX JOHNNY TRAINING IN A PLACE WITH BLACK MOLD

Could this man BE any more delightfully unhinged

Johnny Lawrence's dojo marketing will never NOT be hysterical

"Smack-dab between the pipe supply and the burned-down Chuck E. Cheese" SIR

"I'm asexual" WELL at least we exist on television, right???

I guess this is the queer rep we get for Season 4, RIP

YOOOOO IT'S MY GIRL MOON

"I can't do the whole physical aggression thing" Remind me again why she and ELI FREAKING MOSKOWITZ are meant to be compatible at all??? Literally what even would they talk about??? Well REGARDLESS, can't help but admire her staunch determination to be a pacifist in a high school singlehandedly spearheading the local karate wars

"She's the best athlete in school and she's not afraid to get into a fight" Okay don't get me wrong, I'm still seething over Moon and Piper breaking up, BUT I do find it absolutely HYSTERICAL that Moon apparently has a type

Even funnier that Yasmine lowkey fits her type too, which is apparently mean, cocky bitches who don't take shit from anyone

Oh SHIT, Sam catching Amanda talking to Tory??? This boutta get JUICY

OKAY HERE WE GO HERE WE GO

BASEMENT SCENE LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO

See the full post

79 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

Season 4, Episode 10: An Extremely Chaotic and Incoherent Review

The Good:

LISTEN

YOU CAN'T JUST HAVE THESE GUYS PULL OUT THE MOST APT STAR WARS PREQUEL MEMES OF ALL TIME

AND NOT THINK I'M GONNA SHIP THE SHIT OUT OF THEM

DID ELI REALLY JUST SAY DEM SHOULD PULL AN "IT'S OVER ANAKIN I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND" ON ROBBY

WITH A STRAIGHT FACE

I can't with this man

I can 100% not tell if these boys are memeing or actually taking karate advice from the Star Wars prequels but honestly??? I fucking love it either way

Dumbasses (affectionate)

ALSO the absolutely doe-eyed way Eli looks at Demetri when he says "you're taller!!" Yeah you like your men taller, don't you, short king?

Come to think of it Eli has been basically nonstop giving Demetri doe eyes all season

Maybe that's just what his face looks like?

Nah he's still kinda smug smirking at the beginning of the season

But he does become very apt at looking like a sad puppy

I swear this fucker still looks at Demetri like he hung the sun though

Ohhhhh Demetri just going RUTHLESSLY at Robby fills me with LIFE

Demetri Alexopoulos and Robby Keene mortal enemies WHEN

Still morbidly satisfying to see all that paralysis, shaving, and dojo-betraying beef explode out of my boy Demetri in one fell swoop

Oh shit!!! The head kick!!! The THROWDOWN!!! We are at last seeing a glimpsed of the unhinged Demetri I have craved for so long, keep being scary my love

DID HE JUST DO THE "COME AT ME BRO" HAND MOVEMENT

OH HE IS SO PISSED

Seeing this gay nerd be aggressive and intense as hell is ascending me into nirvana

He has found his inner craving for violence and destruction, and I think that's very valid of him

Truly he and Eli are kindred spirits in ways S1 Demetri never could have imagined

You gotta love some irony

He's gone from yeeting out of every bad situation to being like "this dude shaved off my boyfriend's gay-ass hairdo and now I'm going to beat him to kingdom come"

You know what that is? GROWTH

Poor Daniel though, he's like "Oh no :( :( :( My karate sons are fighting :( :( :("

See the full post

80 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

Mr. LaRusso says anyone can be the hero, but I’m not Batman! I’m more like Alfred. You’re Batman!

***

Y’all thought I was gonna watch Season 4 and then NOT do a moodboard of The Basement Scene??? Preposterous. Completely absurd. Literally just gave me too many Vibes to work with for them not to be utilized.

Tried for more grayish/neutral colors for this one! Hopefully it’s not too boring ^^; I wanted to match the general energy of the scene, and both Demetri and Eli seem to be feeling kind of sad and empty here, SO.

Very happy I found a picture of “I love you” written in binary code ;_____;

Also, it has been said, but I’ll say it again: You have Demetri look at Eli like that, and...what??? Expect me to buy Demetri isn’t deeply in love with him??? To buy that Demetri Alexopoulos’s feelings for his best friend are nothing but platonic??? I respectfully disagree, and also, you are an idiot.

The top left pic is what should’ve happened after the basement scene XD

Pic credits available upon request!

82 notes - Posted January 24, 2022

“They were expecting to find Miguel Diaz. What they weren’t expecting to find was love.”

Imagining of Season 5 in which Demetri and Eli go on a totally straight and totally heterosexual Dudebro road trip to Mexico to find their best friend. Unfortunately, when you’re trapped in a car with someone for hours on end, you might have to start confronting some feelings you wish weren’t there.

Well, everyone, I caved. I fucking caved. I said so many times that I wasn’t going to write CK fanfiction because GODDAMN if I don’t have too many WIPs in other fandoms, but like. The desire to write a homoerotic road trip fic was just too damn much.

I’ve never tried formally writing these two before, so I have no idea if it’s any good, but GOD did I try lol. Not much plot here, mostly just Vibes, gay tension, and missing and worrying about Best Boy Miguel!!! Also written partly out of spite because I’m just constantly seeing Miguel/Demetri friendship erasure in the fandom and it’s gotten me HEATED, so now I’m writing about Demetri going off to find Miguel in Mexico and internally monologuing about how worried he is and y’all just gonna have to deal with it. Fun fact: Miguel and Demetri love each other, and I will not hear otherwise under any circumstances :D

Also I can’t believe I’ve been in this fandom over a year and it took fucking writing this fic to realize Demetri has an extremely bad case of generalized anxiety disorder D: Like he worries about every all the time and honestly? Same

Uhhhhh CW for mentions of human trafficking, even if it’s done in jest (they’re teenage boys after all, this is the kinda thing teenage boys joke about lol) and some zesty...physical references, but the sauciest thing they do is make out because I’m asexual and do not wish to write smut XD

Fic is under the cut!!! Be warned, it is a 4k word longboi!!!

EDIT: There is now a sequel here as well!!!

***

“I cannot even begin to tell you how unsafe this is.”

“Uh huh. Go on.”

“I’m serious, Eli! We’re parked out in the middle of nowhere in a desert that never ends and the only signs of civilization are those cars going by on the highway at like 90 miles an hour. This is how people get kidnapped. And used for…I don’t know, human trafficking or something.”

Eli rolls over from where he lies next to Demetri on the car roof, scowling at him. “You think the traffickers are going to want you?”

Demetri scoffs, offended at the implication. “I’ll have you know I am a catch! The hottest girl in school thought so for a while.”

Eli breaks into a smirk. “Didn’t Yasmine like…use you as a beard, dude?”

“That’s not—she’s not—she didn’t—look, it doesn’t count if she didn’t know she was lesbian until after we got together!” Demetri splutters, gesturing vaguely as he attempts to arrive at a point.

“Wouldn’t that make it even worse?”

“Still speaks volumes to my suave disposition that she had no issue appearing to be dating me.”

“I’ll never understand it.” Eli turns away, gaze flicking back up to the stars.

“As I was saying.” Demetri stubbornly goes on. Someone has to knock some sense into Eli Moskowitz—access that logical coding brain he knows is in there somewhere. “Just because we’re a little ways off the main road doesn’t mean someone isn’t going to see us parked out in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. They could still come out here, break into the car, and do—well, whatever they want! It’s not like anyone would hear us yelling for help. We should have gotten a motel room.”

Eli snorts. “What, are we throwing hundred dollar bills around like we’re Terry Fucking Silver? It was hard enough mooching enough gas money off my mom. Besides, we know karate. If anyone comes after us, we could take them.”

Demetri rolls his eyes. “Right, my bad. I forgot I’m under the protection of the latest AVT champ.”

“Damn right.”

“I’m holding you to that, by the way. If we get kidnapped, and you can’t fend them off, I’m going to be really mad.”

“Completely understandable.”

A lull passes over the boys. For several moments, there’s no sound but desert wind, the hum of crickets and cicadas, and the sound of distant traffic. They had pulled off onto some dirt service road and driven for a while before they arrived and parked at what Eli decided was “the perfect sleeping spot.”

“I can’t believe you’re not tired,” Eli pipes up. “You’ve been driving like…all day.”

Demetri shrugs, car roof cool against his neck and shoulders. The sweltering daytime heat has long since faded from the metal.

“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t know when I’d get the chance to stargaze again. It’s kind of hard with all the light pollution. I remember we used to try on your trampoline, and whenever we’d get excited about a particularly bright one, it would turn out to be LAX’s newest outgoing flight.”

“Yeah, there’s a lot more going on out here. Might as well enjoy it.”

See the full post

175 notes - Posted January 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Binary Boyfriends S4 Fix-It Fics That I Need Immediately

WHAT UP BINARY BOYFRIENDS NATION, WHO’S READY TO WRITE SOME FIX-IT FIC???

Apologies in advance if any of these have already been done, but consider!!! I am always down to see more!!!

Psyche! Its turns out Yasmine and Demetri both are absolutely aware that they’re gay and are 100% faking a straight relationship to seem more cool and normal! The only reason they sell the horniness so well is because they’re both theatrical motherfuckers and wanna see how much they can overdramatically ham it up to fool the entire school into thinking they’re heterosexual

Demetri attempts to stand up for Hawk with Chris and Nate! Make no mistake, not because I think it would work, but because Demetri sometimes has 0 tact when he gets angry and I think the fallout would be very funny

Demetri and Hawk spar, but Hawk accidentally hits Demetri too hard!!! Angst ensues!!!

Demetri and Hawk spar, and they get all amped up on adrenaline and suddenly one is shoving the other against the dojo wall and making out with them!!! The entire dojo sees them and it’s very funny

Demetri jumps off the building!!! And brags about it to Hawk!!! Hawk looks at him with heart eyes because he’s a badass!!!

Alternatively, Demetri tries to jump and lands on the mattresses. He has to go to the hospital. Hawk visits him and switches between heaping on adoring praise for being so ballsy and yelling at Demetri for being so stupid and scaring the shit out of him.

Bonus points if Demetri literally only jumped to impress Hawk

Demetri and Hawk being utter and complete overprotective karate dads to Nate and Bert

Like remember how they both adopted them as their sons??? LET’S DO SOMETHING WITH THAT

Demetri dyeing Hawk’s hair in the bathtub and it’s very intimate and they keep aggressively tryna No Homo it

I think this may have already been done but I am literally always down to see it again

POV: You’re a Cobra Kai goon about to help the scary Keene kid shave off some dude’s gay-ass purple mohawk when there’s a crash and the most gangly, uncoordinated dweeb you’ve ever seen busts in through the tattoo shop window

You’re like “who’s this clown”

But “clown” as in horror movie clown specifically, because this interloper has a mildly to moderately unsettling look on his face

Cue the unsettling clown saying “Evening gentlemen :) :) :) Hope you’re not about to do something you regret to my pal Eli here :) :) :)” in a really quiet and calm tone of voice, which is. DEEPLY terrifying

*cue Demetri breaking into the world’s hugest and most horrifying slasher smile*

And he unleashes nine levels of hell on the Cobras, because he deserves to

Bonus points if he steals the razor and goes just a BIT slash-happy on them

Or strangles Kyler with the belt thing he was holding Eli down with

I just think Demetri should be allowed to completely fucking lose it and become the scariest motherfucker you’ve ever seen when someone messes with his boyfriend Eli Moskowitz

No really, just stop what you’re doing and imagine Demetri chasing Kyler through the tattoo parlor with a shaver Shining-style like “HEEEEERE’S ‘METRI!”

Like would that fuck or WHAT

On a related note, Demetri going full Slasher Movie Villain on the Cobras to get revenge after they shave the ‘hawk would also be acceptable

I think he should bring Miguel along too, I think that would be neat

Just a couple of best bros going to inflict unspeakable violence on the ne’er-do-wells who brutally violated their other best bro, don’t mind them

Demetri still gets to be more unhinged through

Because a) that’s his fucking boyfriend whose hair they’re avenging and b) Miguel has already gotten to be scary on many occasions!!! Let Demetri have a turn!!!

See the full post

181 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

...okay so not nearly as funny as last year's (where my 2nd most popular post was my dumb Scott Pilgrim shitpost) but I'm very pleased with my longest tag. It's very correct and absolutely hysterical.

Wild that I apparently posted more than I did at the height of my 2021 hyperfixation. I guess Season 4 and my frantic desire to ramble about everything will do that to ya.

AKAJSDIPVFOU LOOK AT CHAPTER 1 OF THE ROAD TRIP FIC MAKING IT INTO MY TOP 5 GOOD FOR HIM GOOD FOR HIM

(Obligatory reminder that all 6 chapters of the road trip fic are on my AO3 SummerPhlox if you want to read/comment there lol)

YO CONGRATS TO MY BLORBO DEMETRI ALEXOPOULOS FOR BEING MY #1 TAG OF 2022 I'M SO PROUD OF MY SON GOOD FOR HIM

And my other blorbo Miguel Diaz making the top 10 tags too, we love to see it <3

Happy almost-2-year-anniversary to this blog lmao what the fuck I thought I'd have a little mini baby hyperfixation on some nerdy karate gays and then I'd go about my business but irl plot twists are more wild than any movie I've ever seen because somehow I'm still fucking here

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #demetri alexopoulos #miguel diaz #binary boyfriends #eli moskowitz #elimetri #demetri cobra kai #hawk #hawkmeat #cobra kai #hawk x demetri #demetri x eli #demetri x hawk #eli x demetri #gonna go ahead and add all the Elimetri tags since they're like 90% of what I post about #and here's a collection of shitposts about them lol

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max--phillips · 8 months ago

Note

Also! If you are curious, I also know quite a bit of Jedi/Sith lore from the Old Republic era back. Ship schematics (every ship in the star wars universe are my babies, I go feral for the different times and its Christmas to me when they introduce a whole new ship).

I also know a lot about Miralan, Togruta, and Chiss!

I guess the short of it all is, Star Wars has consumed my entire life and I know WAY to much about it.

I even know about the logistics behind the (albiet bullshit) return of Palpatine. Legends actually gives a great reasoning and its so fun to look up. The sith were crafty litte fuckers.

So I am always happy to just infodump to hell and back about it. 😁😁😁 -YLTE

Yooooo nice!! I like to think I’m pretty versed in Star Wars stuff in the eras covered in the movies (though to be fair I’m significantly less so about the sequel trilogy era lmao) but hell yeah! Despite being a BioWare devotee I haven’t played any of their Star Wars games which I feel like I should because they are quite loved . Hard agree on the Sith thing tho I used to read the Star Wars Legacy comics from dark horse and . Frankly my feelings about Darth Talon should’ve been one of the many times in my formative years I should’ve realized I was queer but that is neither here nor there

Anywho I may have 2 pick ur brain abt the ships bc I am running into an issue with a fic im rewriting where I need Din’s razor crest replacement to fit two adult humans and baby . But I want it to be as similar to the N-1 as possible without just saying “yeah it’s a ✨special✨ two-seater N-1 lmaoooooo so if u have any ideas,,,,, pls send them my way 🥲

#max answers questions #tori answers questions #anonymous

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shooks-stupid-stuff · 4 years ago

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YOOOOO!!!!! I've finally come up with a question that doesn't make me feel like a complete idiot for asking it!!! I've always wondered what specifically f!Berkut said to au!Berkut but that thought process just lead to other things. When f!Berkut uses his special Rinea shows up for a moment. I have to ask did your au!Berkut see that Rinea? Does au!Berkut feel guilt whenever he looks at Rinea even though he didn't actually sacrifice her to Duma? That's all thank you for your time! ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

ok so first off i just wanna say, sorry for taking a few days to get to this but i wanted to give myself time to let the ideas simmer and uh... do research-

SO! to make this easier to read imma answer each question individually, one at a time

and uhh hopefully this isn’t unnecessarily long lmao-

1. What specifically did F!Berkut say to AU!Berkut?

ok so first off, and this will apply for like everything in this post, as this au is connected to FEH, all the voicelines/forging bonds convos/etc. will be treated as canon. with that said, in the c conversation for the forging bonds f!berkut was in, he pretty much refers to normal berkut as ignorant and weak. but, knowing berkut he would probably be disgusted with f!berkut, and confront him with something like “i’ll never stoop to your level of needing to rely on someone else’s power >:[” and then f!berkut just replies with something very taunting and mildly ominous (tbh the first panel of this dumb comic i made kinda demonstrates what i mean rlly well, which is ironic bc this comic is lowkey one of the reasons i made this a whoops) and then berkut is just like “wh- what are you talking about” and f! berkut just dips and/or gets told off by the summoner, but berkut is already shook at this point-

so yeah i hope that made sense-

2. Did AU!Berkut see Witch!Rinea?

short answer is probably not. long answer is though she does show up in f!berkut’s special art, she doesn’t show up with his map sprite (though how sick would it be if she did, like how b!micaiah has yune with her) and, going back to forging bonds as well as several other various f! berkut lines, f!berkut is actively looking for rinea (or more specifically, his rinea), and since in sov he recognizes witch!rinea as rinea in the cutscene before the f!berkut fight, i think it’s fair to say she isn’t there. however, he does atleast find out about her when he makes b!/l!/v!alm (any of em work bc all are post-sov events (to my knowledge)) tell him what the fuck happened.

3.Does AU!Berkut feel guilty, despite not sacrificing rinea?

ok so, he definetly does, but it’s a bit complicated. rather than the guilt decreasing with time, it actually increases with time during the actual events of sov (like acts 3-5) because despite his best efforts, berkut is really having a hard time changing things, and the impending sense of doom and dread (tm) just keeps getting worse. as far as post events of sov goes, initially he’s just like “oh god it’s over” and starts to finally let go of the guilt, but then uh oh shit’s getting not good (see: this post if you haven’t read it already-) and here comes the exestentail dread again, and moreso than guilt fear. just pure fear that he’s going to lose control and hurt rinea, which is obviously the last thing he wants. but yknow the guilt also comes back, but in a moreso “oh god did i fail to fix things” kinda way.

so yeah! that’s basically it! and like,,,, thank u so much for the questions and being interested in my au it means so much to me ;v;

[it wont let me tag you so i hope you get the notif that i answered this h-]

#shook responds #do i have a tag for the au #i dont think so-#w e lp #the berkut au saga #it does now #just sov things #i still have no idea where i wanna go with the au plotwise post the stuff in the other post but #the ideas will come... i hope #but like srsly thank u for the ask sm dude-

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the-nysh · 5 years ago

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AHHHH! Just got back from finally seeing Heroes Rising! 8D Oh man, that was definitely a big-screened flashy action movie to experience, with great class cohesion and teamwork, and especially with Deku and Kacchan as the stars. Going in, I already knew what was going to happen (couldn’t resist spoiling myself silly), but it still had me chuckling along to all the fun nods/refs to things and grinning like a huge idiot by the end of it. :D More details and extended impressions as follows:

It really gets me that nowadays we can just…waltz into a theater and watch subbed anime movie screenings (which was the version I saw) alongside other current films. :O That’s just amazing to me. Cause gosh, back in the day, that was either completely unheard of, or you had to drive 100miles to a fancy arthouse theater just to see dubbed releases of -only- Miyazaki movies (with month-long reserved/ordered tickets). This is so much preferable now (it’s a very good thing!), and I certainly hope this trend for more accessible anime content continues!

Anyway, saw the movie with family: sister (only watches the anime) and mom (never seen any bnha, but wanted to be included anyway~) At first we had the entire theater to ourselves at a 9:45pm showing, until like 5 min before, then several other groups came in. (So hhhh ;o; had to refrain from making any loud reactions/commentary otherwise.)

Some of the best comments from my mom were how she kept leaning over to me and asking where the ‘guy with the wings�� (Hawks) was. X’D This is great and hilarious to me. He only showed up a few times to investigate the villains, figure out what’s wrong, and fly over with pending professional help to the island. So to my mom, it was a matter of ‘when will he come to save the kids!?’ Aha nice. His Japanese voice was deeper than expected, but I could still hear the Mumen Rider (opm) inflections from his voice actor. :D Definitely excited to see more of him formally animated in the series. Later, my mom also commented how the villain (Nine) was good-looking, buaha! (I mean hey, Shiggy was there too! 8D) I’d given her a crash-course on bnha lore before the movie, so it’s amusing to me how these were some of her unique takeaways. She also felt how after Deku told the kids ‘you can be a hero,’ that they already were cause they demonstrated that same bravery. :’)

For my sister, by the end she was like, ‘they should have just done fusion!’ Noting how Deku and Kacchan already went with the dbz looks, so heh why not. :P She noted how odd it was that Kacchan could use OfA immediately (when it took Deku several hours to…digest the hair before it could set in), so I had to clarify it was transferred by blood this time. She also wondered how Deku could gain even greater power with OfA after transferring it, and welp it’s mostly movie magic so whatever, but I could not resist flat-out saying, ‘BECAUSE THEY SOUL-BONDED~’ (And that’s as far as I was openly willing to push it with the bkdk agenda, guahaha.) Lingering convos included stuff about OfA mechanics (more odd inconsistencies with the vestiges somehow willing it back) and me mentioning Hori’s original idea to end the series with, all that good stuff. But most of all, to even have the movie tie back into the main (manga) storyline cleanly somehow, these types of explanations/solutions to things had to be done anyway, so it’s honestly another whatever/no big; it works as a self-contained flashy movie. (And honestly not as bad as some impressions made it seem; instead, how certain things wrapped up here felt negligible to me.)

As for ME, woohoo oh I definitely liked it and had a fun time! :D I didn’t know if I’d get the chance to see it in theaters (schedule conflicts) but ayyy I felt it was worth it! Immediately from the intro car-chase with Endeavor (yooo), it was all high-budget, quality action movie stuff. The two kids were endearing with active roles which I appreciated. I was also greatly impressed by how cohesive and responsible all the classmates were. You could just tell how closely they knew each other (and their quirks) and could work efficiently as a well-oiled unit when disaster strikes. Evacuating and providing for the islanders and coming up with elaborate battle plans, and all without any adult heroes present. :O Each had their moment to shine, with some very cool class combo moves too. Favs were Uraraka and Sero’s boulder throwing spam, and Kiri bodily shielding Todo from a hugeass high-beam laser like in Evangelion (YOOOOO?!?! that was cool!) Dark Shadow with wolverine claws was pretty sweet too.

Of course, personal favs were the Kacchan (+Deku) moments. Deku was a good babey throughout but…but KACCHAN. ;A; Featuring the shades of Kacchan I love to see. :’D (Also Denki said a line like, ‘Kacchan of the Bakugous’ buahaha wtf!) When he’s silently observant (listening to Deku talk to the kid about their hero dreams, to the point his popsicle melts off ;o;), intensely serious (making it very clear to the kids he’s for real about efficiently working as a hero after they mess around/cry wolf with him), gruffly supportive (encouraging Deku in his own way to ‘make it his own’ asap :’3) and…he’s still got his signature short fuse temper of course (that explodes in comical ways, heh even my mom laughed at him) plus the awesome moments when he frees himself from a villain then promptly beats his ass. 8D But…I personally loved the smaller, but very telling, protective moments. Like when the girl signaled Deku was in trouble, Kacchan was immediately RIGHT THERE to blast Nine in the face (omgg), how he caught/saved the girl when she went flying (while Deku was on the attack instead), AND my fav: how when they were both fighting Nine, Deku got distracted worrying about the other classmates fighting elsewhere, but Kacchan kicked him out of the way from getting hurt by lasers (so ahhh!! he’s actively looking out for Deku and staying on top of things so they both keep their heads in the game. :’D) Just MANY good Kacchan moments to appreciate. <3

AND then the big bkdk handhold, OfA transfer, epic + emotional team up. (Ever since the first previews/impressions, I’m still stunned they actually did all that on the big screen!) At this point I was internally squealing and had the dumbest grin on my face but didn’t even care. 8’D I WAS READY! Nakamura’s animation was like…byuuujjgghh *brain turns off* Honestly it was hard to even SEE what was happening on screen besides huge swathes of molten heat and green electricity flying everywhere, totally and awesomely over the top. Ahaha definitely worth seeing again just for that! I got feels for the ‘it’s fine if it’s you’ line :’))), and in the aftermath, loved it when Deku’s first thought upon regaining consciousness was to ask All Might if Kacchan’s ok. (omggg heh, Deku pls! :’D)

Overall, the movie had a simple, straightforward storyline to follow, fantastic action and teamwork to enjoy, and plenty of tidbits and character moments for current fans to heartily eat up. No question about the Kacchan and bkdk service as well. Left me feeling very giddy as a fan and glad I was able to catch it in theaters. Now I can’t wait to see when gifsets of all those fun moments get made!

#bnha #heroes rising #bkdk #anime spoilers #commentary #long post #FINALLY ;A; i got to see it for myself in theaters #oh boy now that was fun and exciting (with lots of good expected kacchan + bkdk service for current fans)

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acuppellarp · 5 years ago

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Welcome (back!) to A Cup-pella, Ace! We’re excited to have you and Aria Abrams in the game! Please go through the checklist to make sure you’re ready to go and send in your account within the next 24 hours.

OOC INFO

Name + pronouns: Ace + She/Her/It Age: 32 Timezone: CST Ships: Ari/R&B soundtrack playlists, Ari/Chem Anti-Ships:Ari/Being Ignored

IC INFO

Full Name: Ariana Noelle Abrams Face Claim: Alexandra Daddario Age/Birthday: 24 / November 19th Occupation: Writer/Director/Creator The Untitled Abrams Project/Assistant at A24 Films Personality: passionate, silly, stubborn, creative, insecure, awkward, empathetic Hometown: East Cleveland, OH Bio: Ariana Noelle Abrams was something of a quiet child. Since birth, she hardly ever cried. Though she was very happy, the permanent smile didn’t stop the worry her parents held. She seemed content to play alone but both her mother and father hoped she’d grow out of that. Their miracle baby was destined to be their only baby, so they tried to walk that fine line of protective versus overbearing. One day the small family of three were sitting in front of the television when a commercial came on with dancers and some form of pop-hiphop song. A teeny three year old Ari jumped from her seated position on the floor and began to dance along. She laughed and moved to the music, and even as the commercial faded into the program they’d been watching the little girl kept moving. Dance it was, her mother thought.

Ballet was the first choice that came to Evelyn Abram’s mind, but she quickly learned that tights and tutus were not Ari’s idea of fun. On a long walk through the dance studio, it was her daughter who informed her of just what type of dance she wanted to do. Ari was stopped in her tracks by the sound of the heavy base and rhythm. The little girl squealed in excitement before taking it upon herself to run into the class they definitely hadn’t signed her up for. Ari began taking hip hop dance lessons the next afternoon, suddenly the once seemingly shy girl became filled with light. Her personality began to shine through. It warmed her mother’s heart honestly, even if she didn’t understand the ‘hip jams’.

Ari always held her own in a diverse sea of dancers, and she was respected for her skills, which meant the world to her. She was honestly very talented, and she worked her little butt off. Her instructors began to notice and suggested competitions for the young girl to enter whenever one they knew Ari would be interested in came up. She was a regular face on the Ohio competition trail, and even if she didn’t always win, she always stood out and had a blast. Three days after her tenth birthday, with her third place trophy in hand, Ariana sat in the back seat of her mother’s car singing along to Beyonce’s crazy in love. That’s the last thing she remembered before waking up in the hospital, unable to move her legs.

Not only did Ari have to begin to learn to maneuver life without the full use of her legs, but she also had to deal with her family being uprooted. Turned out her father’s insurance didn’t cover as much as they would have hoped, and the medical bills started to pile up. Noah Abrams made the decision to move his family to NYC for a better job opportunity. It was more than most kids could handle all at once, and at first Ari didn’t handle it. She fell back into her silence, she’d lost the voice that dance help give her. She in that chair unmoving staring at the television, most days, until her mother had enough. Evelyn took her little girl on a stroll, they talked and they cried and they watched the sunset together. Ari only wished she’d had a camera to capture the yellow and orange waves.

Things slowly but surely began to get better for Ari. She still loved dance and music and she and her mom came up with ways to continue to be involved in that world. She found her dads old video camera and started a little business, recording dancer’s audition videos. It was bitter sweet but the sweet always won out. Once Ariana got a little older and was able to get around the city better her business grew, she was recording all the special moments in the lives of people who could afford a professional camera crew. It was one of her few friends who suggested finding a way to put her own written work on camera. And Ari, of course, thought that was a grand idea.

Comics sort of saved Ari when she was feeling her worst. Getting lost in worlds where people could go from ordinary to extraordinary with a simple spider bite. She imagined herself, the hero, flying through the sky saving the damsel in distress. It wasn’t long before imagining became full on written works. Her first original film, The Adventures of Calico, had her putting a cape on her family cat, and filming her fending off GI Joe in Barbie’s honor. A regular masterpiece.

Ariana wrote and filmed her way right through high school, where she collected a couple of like minded outcast friends along the way. And that hard work and creative exploration got her an acceptance letter from Columbia University’s Film School. She was able to make art in the city she loved most in the world (not that she’d been many other places but still) and study under some of the most well respected in the film world. It was all just a load of fun.

Now Aria has a BA, a butt load of student loans, a pretty successful web series and she truly had hold of her voice. The American dream. Calico 2 to hit theaters in 2025.

Pets: N/A

EXTRA INFO

[ This is for the masterlist, but also a fun little way to get to know your character! ]

Ari Bombostic /@Rollinwmyhomies/ I make the movies and I make the ladies smile. The former I do on purpose the latter generally on accident but I take it anyways. Call me Director Abrams

Five latest tweets:

@Rollinwmyhomies: Yooooo I’m holding auditions for a very special project must be human and able to make chicken tacos. HMU if youre interested

@Rollinwmyhomies: Nikons are so pretentious *pulls out my bomb ass Nikon*

@Rollinwmyhomies: I just popped a wheelie in Time Square. I’m ready for wheelchair basketball finales!

@Rollinwmyhomies: Call my Ari, but I honestly don’t understand the saying Have your cake and it too. Because don’t you have your cake, then eat it? That’s how that works.

@Rollinwmyhomies: Who’s mouth is watering for The Birds of Prey movie ✋

#accepted

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whatscallion · 5 years ago

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Sorry for just now getting back to you! ❤ Aunt Flow has been a bitch this month. 😭 We're two years apart AND WE'RE BOTH ARIES?! It's like we were destine to be friends! 😃😃 I haven't read The Wicked + The Divine, but I've heard nothing but good things about it. Adding Doomsday Clock to my list now. Currently I'm reading everything Nat related, Skin&Earth (Dynamite Entertainment), GLOW (IDW Publishing), and rereading Fraction's Hawkeye. I usually read more, but that's all I have time for atm.

well, see- i’m also not so hot at responding LOL. that said, i hope your shark week got better!! AND YOOOOO ARIES4LYFE. i scrolled through one of my discord chats the other day and saw something along the lines of how i claimed i was calm and then “headbutted” someone. not that i’ve done that irl. i have decked someone tho. and omg, The Wicked + The Divine is just incredible. it’s such a solid comic. UGH SO GOOD. and ooo nat-related, eh? i’m a sucker for chris samnee’s nat tbh. he ships buckynat hard so like, he does a lot of commissions and just drawings of them. much like seb, he’s co-captain of that ship, giving us proper content.

Skin&Earth sounds familiar, but i’ma look it up anyways. GLOW sounds familiar too. a friend of mine got into Saga and wants me to read it soooo i’ll probably do that between semesters. fraction’s hawkeye is like, the only proper hawkeye too lbr. i’m tryna think if there’s any other comics i’ve read…old man hawkeye is really good. i’m also reading old man quill which is turning out pretty good too. i wish i was following war of the realms, but that might be something i do after the arc reaches its climax since it’s such a huge arc. domino’s hotshots has nat in it so ofc i’m reading that one. uhmmmmm pearl is a good one, even tho it’s bendis.

i can’t think of anymore! i’ve been wanting to read the umbrella academy since i was told it’s pretty different from the series on netflix ( which i loved ).

i hope you’re doing well!! LUVS.

#askme #stephanie love #<3 #fam

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puppyrogue · 6 years ago

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//I guess this is a ‘Good Bye’ ?

** THIS MIGHT BE A BIT OVERDRAMATIC (until we know for sure how this is gonna go)... BUT, I JUST WANTED IT TO BE POSTED, JUST IN CASE.**

I live in Europe, and you guys might’ve seen this post flying around..

Which means I might, along with my fellow European role players, have our content deleted...? And won’t be able to see any content from you, either.

So... if/before this happens, I wanted to Thank You All, from the bottom of my heart for following me, interacting with me, having great threads and making wonderful friends through these years. It really means a lot to me and I will remember all of you, forever. And have memories of our times here. (I might save everything, print it out and keep in in a safe lmao WHAT A CRIMINAL)

I’ve role played Axel for about... well, it’s close to 5 years now. It’s insane. It’s been a great ride.. some ups and downs, like everyone has, but happily mostly Amazing times.

Some of you have followed me– we’ve been mutuals since day One. And I just want to say, I love you and thank you for sticking around, even though we might not have played much together, or at all. Just reading each others interactions has been great and you are all doing such a great job, I hope you know that. Be proud of your character, and your work.

I’m really not good with good bye’s... fucking.. separation anxiety. But I’d like to Highlight some people that have been an honor to play with and some that I have absolutely adored just stalked throughout these years. (this is in no particular order, I love each and everyone of you ♥ And I wish I could write something about everyone of you, but... I don’t know if I have time. I might be shut down at any second and this point hah!)

@samscudder – You’re the most amazing artist, amazing writer and story teller. You have an incredible imagination and I hope you continue to use that fantastic mind of yours. You’re a great person, friend. Honest, fair, smart and kind. And you’ve had such patience with me, and the way I’ve portrayed Axel. When it’s not have been nowhere near Canon, you’ve been OK with that, or given me feedback to help and you’ve taught me a lot of things I didn’t know, you’ve helped me and answered the most stupid questions, and I just fucking love you. ♥

@roguette-skater – We started playing pretty early in my DC Comics years, when I had just started to read the Flash comics and fell in love with the Rogues, and Axel. I was impatient and made a rp blog without having enough knowledge about this little brat, but you were fine with it. And for that, I’m very very grateful. I was new to OC’s but reading your character Louise, I was just amazed by her and instead of having her and Axel ‘meet for the first time’, went with that they had basically grown up together. I regret nothing. It’s an amazing sibling relationship and I thank you for creating such a wonderful character. And thank you for letting me play with you. ♥

@i-still-quote-twain – I want to, of course, Thank you as well for letting me play with you. And apologize for have bothering you so much with my damn obsession that is Mark/Axel. Also thank you for it. The artwork you created of them is my absolute favorite piece and I want to thank you for tagging me in it. It means a lot that you took some of your time and energy to draw it. I didn’t even know that you were, but it was hiiiiighly appreciated and thank you thank you thank you. It’s been an amazing time, and amazing, funny, emotional threads we’ve had and I have adored every single one. I hope you have too! ♥

@perfectedrobin – Dan.. Dan, dan, dan... I don’t know what more to say than a sincere Fuck You.

Hahaha!

Nah, You are like... I don’t remember how we started talking, but when we did, we just clicked. That sounds so romantic wtf. hey if I get a dick will u date me

I love the “hateful”-playful-sarcastic-friendship kind of thing.. and we have that. (Or maybe you do hate me. The fuck do I know.) But anyway, Damian and Axel. The hell is all that about. It all started with a joke, and then the joke became more of a joke and it became a hot fucking joke. I love it. It’s not what I usually like for Ax, him having his fucking Daddy Kink and all.. but Damian and Axel, their impossible fantastic duo, as ..friends??? and two dudes, opposite side of law and morals, but still not that different at all, working together... it’s perfect. It’s been a fucking pleasure, man. ♥

@exrogue – Bells, the Shane to my Ryan. Digger couldn’t have been portrayed this well by anyone else, in my mind. Holy fuck, dude. Your writing and your portray of the damn drunk is A+ in every category and when we first started writing together, I was a nervous wreck, but you turned out to be just as strange of a fellow as I am and boiiiii we need to hang someday. I’ll come down, alright. We should do some ghost hunting, bruh. Wheeze around a little bit. We should bring @i-still-quote-twain as well. Unsolved Fan, there too. It’d be great. And you could laugh at me being the more ridiculous kind of Ryan than Ryan. Imagine that. Anyways... Thank you for putting up with my shit ♥

@one-rogue-army – Gosh, your writing and your character and amazing development of him and mine! It’s been such a great time writing with you. A lot of Ax’s character development has been thanks to Tony, and I’m really glad you wanted to play with me. Humor and Angst, it’s two of my favorites, and you’ve given me both! Don’t ever change, because you are one of the kindest people I have ever had the pleasure to meet. ♥ @mamasbvy – Yo, yo, yooooo... Boii, have I loved playing with you... I wouldn’t have dreamed of Axel getting some actual loving and from someone who truly means his best. I am absolutely stunned by your character and I wish he was real, because damn, son. D a n g. Thank you, for everything. These two has it all, and that is exactly what they need. Your writing is inspiring and I hope you keep it up, because it really pulls you in to the story. I will love this ship and carve it into the wood of my own casket. Wow that’s bizarre but I love you, and again thank you ♥

@queryxecho – THE MOMS TO MY BOY. You’ve given me such jooooooooy to play Axel and to have him play son around your girls. He has really appreciated their help, toys, their caring and scolding, everything. And I have really appreciated chatting with you, having great times and discussed important and not so important things in life. It’s been amazing. You are amazing. ♥

– Now, like I said, I can’t write down a Love Confession Letter to each and everyone of you, but I am just as happy, grateful and honored to have seen you guys on my dash, and written with you and stalked your blogs with a heart eyes emoji face. Thank you. Thank you and Thank you so much for giving me these memories.

♥ such babes ♥

@flashgotthis @darkmeditation @justakansasboy @fasterthansupes @fastestboyalive @impawsiblegar @tinytrickster @thisisntaruba @mr-riddler @promiisekept @legionrunner @blxckisblxck @atlantisking @aquarad @elextrospeed @erogues @aequitcs @blowhardking @comiiics @chosexearth @corvidamned @dawnofspeed @dcficit @dcnouncepcnguin @foolish-pleasure @goldieglider @greenlizardboy @halfspeeds @impulsiveycuth @jester-of-genocide @junglebcrn @lucklessprincess @lessthanmortal @nctaredshirt @rudolphwest @reluctant-reflection @redxeyedxmonster @sclsticed @speedyarrowed @smallspooky @strsmore @titansinmycrosshairs @theredwonder @weather-warlock @yellowskinnedwackyman @young-justice-newbies I apologize so much if I have forgotten anyone, I follow many blogs, and so many of you have multiple blogs, too and you fricckkiinn confuse me btchez. I have only tagged one of your blogs, though, I hope that is ok ♥

Again, Thank you... ♥ I hope things will get better and I, together with the rest that this concerns, will be able to come back someday.

Have a great life and do what you dream of doing! Don’t let people bring you down, and if they do, climb the fuck up again, baby! ♥

See ya’ later, Snuggle Bugs! ♥

– Fox out ~

#oocshit #long post #gosh there's a lot of hearts #gross #!!! Important !!!

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river-phillips · 7 years ago

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No Competition | Feat. Chad The Werewolf

After returning from Canada and getting her wound all magically healed, River finds herself exploring her new neighborhood. Finding the local gym, she decides to pay it a visit. However, she wasn’t expecting to find a surprising competitive streak...and maybe a new job?

Chad loved his job. He was proud of his gym, he was impressed with his staff (even though they were still looking for some fresh meat; a couple of the personal trainers got married and moved to the Bahamas because they got picked for an episode of 'House Hunters: Beach Life'...but Chad wasn't jealous, nope) and most of all, he was very pleased with himself. Almost. As he murmured slogans of encouragement to the gym rat he was spotting, Chad was a little distracted by his own mirror image. Was one of his pecs getting saggy? "Is that ten yet?" the weight trainee gasped, arms trembling under the dumbells. "What? Oh! Oh yeah bro, yeah you're - here lemme take that for you- " Chad reached to grab the dumbell with his right hand, but then switched to take it with his left. The side with the droopy nipple. "Walk it off brah, then 15 minutes on the stairmaster and hit the showers. Yeah!" He towel flicked the trainee's ass. "Remember to hydrate! It's legs tomorrow and I ain't gonna go easy on you, a'ight? Get it, brah. Go for it run, run RUN!" As the gym rat fled to the machines, Chad returned to studying his own reflection. He began to do some standing chest presses with the heaviest dumbells on the rack. "Pain is the cleanser. Perfect body, perfect soul. Pain is the cleanser. Perfect body, perfect soul."

River had visited a doctor in Soapberry after getting back from Canada and gotten her wound healed up with the help of a little magic. It had cost her a little extra, but she needed to be in top shape for her upcoming fight. She’d called off work again. Work at the docks was slowly killing her. Repetitive work. Unsatisfying and boring. She loved the physicality of it though. Loved that it kept her fit. She'd probably never been in better shape in her life than she was right now. Even if her anxiety often made her feel powerless, it was hard to deny the effect that toned, strong muscles could have on her confidence. She felt powerful physically, even for the small thing she was. As she walked through her neighborhood, she spotted a gym she'd never seen before. Not because it was new, but because she hadn't really taken the time to properly explore the neighborhood yet. “Weight For It”. Heh, funny name. She could appreciate a good pun. With that fight in the Underground coming up soon, she needed a place to train... and at least she knew she had a place to keep her body in check even if she quit her job. She really didn't even need one, at least not for a while, with Ash around...but she didn't want to be a charity case either. Then, she spotted the sign on the door of the gym and got a little closer. "Help Wanted: Personal Trainer". Hmmm. Before her mind could plant any doubt, River pushed through the door and into the noisy lobby of the gym. She approached the desk before her nerve disappeared, which was happening quickly, noted by the stammer in her speech. "I s-saw the sign out front. You're looking for a p-personal trainer?" The receptionist stood, almost a foot taller than her and built like a wall, giving her a look. Not judgement, really. Just amused. She swallowed nervously. "I'm interested in applying..."

The receptionist was a gatekeeper of sorts - and maybe she came off as a little intimidating, but she was Chad's brother's wife's cousin and so he really couldn't say no when she needed a job. Plus, she was hella stacked, from her strong neck down to her flexing ankles. (Maybe Chad had asked her out on a date once - casual like, and he even offered not to pay for her, because he heard women liked being independent or something. She turned him down, but he considered himself one of the good guys and therefore didn't resent her for it. He was pretty cool about it, if he said so himself). Regardless, before the receptionist could respond to the stuttering short creature before her, Chad's keen werewolf ears overheard the word 'applying'. "What? Rache, yo Rache! Bring her ovah hear," Chad beckoned, putting on a New Jersey accent for no reason other than the fact that he really liked Jersey Shore. "Yooooo ayyy, yo you want to apply? For what? Tow - towel girl?" Chad chuckled, sneaking a glance at Rachel to see if she'd laugh. She gave Chad a pity smile, and returned to the front desk, leaving River and Chad alone. Chad grunted. "Step into my office..." he said, then looked around, arms spread in mock-surprise. "Oh! Looks like we're already there. Because this gym is like my office," he kindly mansplained to River.

When the exaggerated New Jersey accent ripped through the gym, River suddenly had second thoughts on this whole thing. What was she getting herself in to? She let Rachel the Receptionist guide her over to the yelling man by the free weights, and he was immediately making jokes about her wanting to apply. Yeah, this was definitely a bad idea. "No, for the personal trainer position," she said, evening out her tone as best she could, though it was still a little shaky. Her nerves and doubt was being overpowered by her stubbornness in that moment. This guy seemed like a meathead and she wouldn't let him laugh on her expense. She shared a meaningful glance with Rachel as she departed and left them alone. "Good one," she said, sprinkling in a little sarcasm through her smile. "So, about that position..."

Chad eyed River, realizing belatedly that she was serious. He popped his hips from one side to the other, sucking his teeth and assessing her. "I'm Chad, this is my gym," he finally said. "And you are...?" Chad decided to walk around River in a slow circle, two fingers tapping against his lips a la LL Cool J (but not nearly half as cool, not that Chad realized) as he assessed her. He couldn't quite tell how fit she was under her clothes. "What do you know about positions, uh-heh heh, uhhhh little girl?" Chad chuckled again. Fortunately he was so gym-centric he wasn't referring to anything salacious. Waving his hand towards the weight machines, he asked in a pleasant and condescending way. "You even know how you use anything here? It's all real really very complicated, yo."

"River," she answered. River didn't like to be judgmental of people if she could help it, especially when she first met them, but in light of all the things he'd said and done so far....of course his name was Chad. She simply raised her eyebrows at his vulgar comments. "Of course I do," she asserted, deciding to leave the 'little girl' comment alone. Usually insisting you weren't little and immature just made you look more little and immature. She started to point at the machines, naming off their technical names and the muscle groups they focused on one by one. She'd been pretty interested in anatomy in school, and the only way she'd stayed in shape on the road and hadn't turned into a beach ball from all the greasy diner and junk food was getting time in at gyms all across the country with their 'trial membership' programs. When she was satisfied she'd proved her point, she turned to Chad, a smug smile curling at her lips.

Chad blinked at her, his patronizing smirk slowly fading into a near-comical open mouthed face. One might even call it the quintessential 'o'-face coined by Office Space. Eyes big, mouth round, and even the frosted tips of his well-waxed hair seeming to wilt slightly as River methodically listed so thoroughly. "Yeah. Yeah but - yeah but - but -" Chad said, because in all honesty some of the muscles that River listed were new to Chad. He started to laugh and clap his hands (or tried, but his rotund chest got in the way). "Oh man bruh! Did you like make up some of those? Because I'm pretty sure they ain't actual..." Chad glanced over at Rachel, who shook her head slowly, confirming that all of River's anatomy knowledge was accurate and real. "Oh. I guess...well you know your stuff, what're you a sports science chick or something? I took a class once....it was...uh..." Chad struggled to regroup. "Uhhhh....okay uh, you got a like a resume or something River-girlie?" But Chad didn't want to read, reading was boring, so he sucked his teeth again. "Never mind the resume shit, let's...oh I know! I'll pretend to be a work out newbie and you can show me what you'd do to train me." Chad got into character, putting on a timid face and turning his feet inwards. "I've only done zumba classes. Um. What's a kettlebell?"

River felt her teeth grit at being called 'girlie', but let it go. The look Rachel was giving her was one of understanding, but also gave her the sense that if a girl like that was still around this oaf of a man and put up with him, he couldn't be all bad. He sure wasn't showing any good qualities yet. She took a deep breath and nodded, going along with the roleplay he'd stared. "You've only taken a zumba class? Well, a kettlebell is not where you should start then. We should keep up the momentum you started in zumba and do some cardio first, after some stretching." She smirked, guided him on some simple stretches, and then stepped on a treadmill, motioning for Chad to step on the one next to her. If there was one thing being a selkie and swimming your entire life did, it was keep up your endurance and give you killer lung capacity. Out in the cold air she might not have been able to keep her breath on a hike with Rye, but here in a temperature controlled environment, she knew she had this guy beat. She started a warm up jog on the treadmill, quickly cranking up the speed to a full on run.

Chad was not a sprinter, or a cardio guy really. He did his cardio out of necessity, but most of his time was spent admiring himself pumping iron. But Chad's competitive spirit was always in full-gear, and at first it was mostly to show up the short girl and send her off without a job but hopefully with a year gym membership. But once River kept accelerating, Chad knew he was unable to compensate. His werewolf stamina could only take him so far - "Oh ow ow ow - chafe - chafing -" Chad panted, hitting the button on the panel to slow the treadmill down, and eventually he waddled off, hands inserted between his thick thighs. With a heavy sigh, he squatted there, letting his werewolf healing rid the chafing between his thighs, as he plucked his shorts back down. Sweating profusely, Chad grabbed his water and gulped some down, spraying some on his face. He laughed and wagged a finger at River. "You got one up on Chad, I'll give you that one. You wouldn't do that to any of the members right?" Chad drank more as he thought, and motioned to the water fountain so River could drink as well. She knew her stuff about the machines, and she was clearly fit, but Chad had one last test. Once he'd drank enough, Chad dropped to the mat. "If you can beat Chad in push-ups, you got yourself a job." Why on earth Chad started referring to himself in third-person was beyond anyone; one might argue when he was insecure, he chose to disassociate. But everyone knew Chad was hardly that complicated. Once River was on the mat beside him, he began to do push-ups, counting out loud as his face gradually turned a beet red.

Once Chad had given up, River calmly hit the button to slow down the treadmill and graceful trotted off. Probably the most graceful she'd been out of the water in a long time. "Of course I wouldn't. But I thought you could handle it," she countered, adopting a diluted version of the same condescending tone he'd been flinging her way so far. She raised an eyebrow as Chad started to talk about himself in the third person, but wordlessly followed him to the fountain to drink. Compared to him, she was barely winded, her cheeks only a little red. When he challenged her to push ups, she audibly chuckled. "Really? That's all I have to do?" Quickly dropping down beside him, she started up the push ups on his count. Her upper body strength was probably her biggest asset here, and she had a lot less weight than him to lift up with each push up. Chad's face started troubling shade of red. River felt her own face getting hot too, and her biceps were burning, but it was a good burn, and she had no problem continuing. "You doing okay over there, Chad?" she asked, a little sarcasm slipping through.

"I'm doing great, you try keeping up!" Chad wheezed, but he didn't relent. Once he hit around 70 push-ups though (a small crowd had gathered loosely around to watch and cheer them on) he paused, then collapsed with a loud whoosh noise. The people applauded the winner who was, clearly, River. "Wicked reps, bro," Chad said - and really, it was his highest form of praise. Laying on the mat, he mopped his face with a towel first, then looked around at the members who'd gathered. There was excitement in their faces, an atmosphere of friendly fitness that Chad truly did aspire towards despite his goombah bravado. And he was at least savvy enough to recognize that the goodwill was all generated by River, who seemed just as competitive as he was. He sat up, then jumped to his feet and waited for River to stand up too. "Lose the stuttering and you can start on Monday if you like" Chad announced, holding out his meaty hand to shake her much smaller one. "I expect my personal trainers to have the confidence you showed just now, or else no one's gonna listen to you. And we put our trainers through training first, so we're all on the same board. You...uh...so you wanna fill out the papers and all that?"

River couldn't help but smile wide as Chad fell to the mat, doing a few more push ups before doing the same herself. It was only then that she'd noticed the small crowd that had formed around them. Usually she’d have been embarrassed by that realization, but right now, it was actually making her smile. One of the members of the crowd tossed her a clean towel, and she mopped the sweat off her face before standing to join Chad. She was a little taken aback by the mention of her stuttering, not even noticing she hadn’t faltered at all since Chad had started to challenge her. The competition had actually fueled her confidence instead of killing it like usual. “You got it,” she said, gripping his hand and surprised when her voice didn’t falter now that the competition was over. She was still riding that high it seemed. “Uh, yeah. Let’s do it!” She looked around at the members that were slowly dispersing now. Future clients, actually. She looked back to Chad with a smirk. “We have a pool right?”

As a werewolf, Chad did have a certain fondness for selkies. His Gramps had a legend that selkies were once wolves....or was that the other way around? Anyway, it was a cool story that made selkies and wolves seem like brothers. Selkies, of course, being the slightly weaker, kind of roly-poly brother, like Canada was to America. He could see a lot of Canada in this River, as he pumped her strong little hand. "Yeah, alright! Let's get this done!" he grunted in enthusiasm following her enthusiasm. He added an extra grunt of emphasis and strode over to the reception desk, nodding his chin at Rachel. "Yo, Rache, get me up one 'a them - oh. You yeah those things," he said, when Rachel already produced the clipboard and application form to River. She smiled and said, "Welcome aboard the SS Chad." Chad laughed so loud, it was as if Rachel told the joke of the century with that witticism. "Good one, Rache. Ain't she a cut up?" He leaned against the counter, 'idly' flexing his biceps as he answered River. "Yeah we got a great pool. Once you finish that, I'll take you on a tour of the place and then Rache will handle the rest of the paperwork for you. Once you're here for a couple weeks, we'll get you your own water bottle and towels with your name on it, we got all the benefits here, River. Yeah." Looking around proudly, Chad then repeated Rachel's words, "Welcome to the SS Chad!"

#chatzy #thank you to lori for being the perfect embodiment of Chad the Werewolf #some of the writing in here is gonna seem weird given the events in canada #but we pre wrote this like a week ago and i didn't plan ahead whoops #timelines are hard just roll with it pls

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theabominableblogger · 7 years ago

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Rewatching “Revenge of the Sith”

Ohhhh yeahhh, I’m going there.

My apologies in advance because this post is so long...

*silently boogies out to 20th Century Fox jingle and ends up throwing popcorn everywhere*

*mouths along to opening theme*

WAR!

“Evil is everywhere.” Dude, this is Star Wars we’re talking about...

Just a heads up, I am so freaking glad that we have The Clone Wars because honestly, it has a lot more flowing character development when it comes from jumping from “Attack of the Clones” to this movie, especially Anakin.

Lens flare!

Holy snot how many Republic ships are there?!? Did the Separatists come with every single ship imaginable? Is that why?

Aaaaand that’s a dead body.

The hell are those things?

“Nothing too fancy.” Says the man [Obi-Wan] who dramatically drops his robes whenever possible.

*imitates the buzz droids*

“IN THE NAME OF-” Finish the sentence, Obi-Wan!

R2′s taser thingy looks like the Twelfth Doctor’s sonic screwdriver.

What if they didn’t notice the shield in time?

Boom! End of saga. Cue end credits music.

Ohhhh this asshole.

WHAAAATTT’SS THE SITUATION, CAPTAINNNN???

*imitates the droids saying “Roger roger”*

How come Anakin and Obi-Wan aren’t getting jostled around when the elevator car first stops?

*quotes the entire “No loose wire jokes” conversation in the elevator*

Is that the same freaking chair that’s gonna pop up in “Return of the Jedi?”

Anakin and Obi-Wan fight Dooku but every time their lightsabers clash, it’s Obi-Wan going “Hello there”

Did Dooku just backwards kick Anakin away? Oh my God...

DEW IT

*Anakin kills Count Dooku* Well done, prequels. You done didn’t use your Christopher Lee effectively enough.

ALL BATTERIES FIRE, FIRE!

Wilhelm Scream!

*imitates droid saying “Reversing stabilizers...”*

Holy crap, you can actually see Grievous’s face kind of twitching with anger when he commands the droids to level out the ship. Dang.

Freaking Obi-Wan’s little yell of horror when he wakes up...

*ugly cackles*

*quotes the entire ray shields scene*

I cannot freaking believe that the TV show took the time to make freaking sure that Anakin never met Grievous until this movie.

Actually, yes I can. They have a goddamn script continuity department.

How come one of them didn’t take one of the electrostaffs?

The Separatist flagship just tore in half when it entered the atmosphere and yet I remain completely unfazed.

“8 plus 16...” Pfftt, what the heck does that mean?

Guys, I think I found the origin for the Dramatic Hair Flop of Angst in TCW

Pretty sure that’s the Millenium Falcon at the bottom hangar

“Oh, I’m not brave enough for politics.” *cough cough*

Obi-Wan gets a whole freaking bus to himself. Chaos will ensue.

How has no one noticed Padme just hanging out next to one of the pillars?

“There were whispers... that you [Anakin] had been killed...” Really?

Anakin’s reaction to Padme telling him that she’s pregnant is actually really good.

Wasn’t there like a deleted interaction where Anakin first accused Padme of sleeping with someone else while he was gone but then they decided that was not that great of an idea?

The music that plays when Grievous exits the shuttle is pretty sweet

*imitates Grievous saying “Yes, Lord Sidious?”*

*claps with each word* This is not how you write romance, [George] Lucas!

Oh I didn’t realize that you could actually hear Anakin’s robotic arm move when he puts his face in his hands

“How long is it gonna take before we start being honest with each other?” You [Padme] should have asked that before you two got hitched in the first place.

Ladies and gentlemen, the absolute worst therapy lesson in the history of Star Wars: Yoda telling Anakin to basically get over himself and accept the sudden, incoming death of the people he loves.

“What must I do, Master Yoda?” MOTHEREFFING IGNORE HIM!

“Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” NOOO, OH MY GOD...

There’s actually a whole video by Pop Culture Detective that went into detail how terrible the Jedi Council were when it came to giving Anakin emotional support.

“Be careful of your friend Palpatine.” And your pal, Friend-patine.

I just noticed that there are less chairs in the Jedi Council room

“The Council doesn’t like it when he [Palpatine] interferes with Jedi affairs.” Then why the heck don’t they confront Palpatine about it?

Holy crap, I just realized that this movie came out 13 years ago.

“Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo...” Was that really “holding” though?

Anakin’s delivery of “At last!” sounds like Darth Maul when he said “At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi” in the first movie.

This entire opera scene should be a dead give away to Anakin learning about Palpatine being the Sith Lord. The minute Palpatine even said the word “Sith” should have raised a few red flags...

This entire Darth Plaguesis explanation is so good and ominous. Just the minute Palpatine finishes the story and tells Anakin that there are other ways to gain that sort of power, you can just gradually feel the dread setting in for the rest of the movie. You just know something bad is gonna happen (besides Anakin becoming Darth Vader)...

Look at the way Obi-Wan’s sitting in his chair!

Oh my God... the Wookies just did a Tarzan yell...

Headcanon: he’s [Anakin] checking for updates about the Siege of Mandalore

OK, everyone craps on the Utapau storyline with the fight scene between Obi-Wan and Grievous but I actually think this is one of the best parts in the movie.

I love the design for the Pau’ans

GUYSSS I LOVE BOGA SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!

Someone get me a plush animal of her on my desk pronto!

HELLO THERE!

GENERAL KENOBIII... YOU ARE A BOLD ONE...

That pose though!

That spinning helicopter move Grievous does while stalking toward Obi-Wan was always really cool to me. A little extra, but still cool.

ARMY OR NOT... YOU MUST REALIZE... YOU ARE DOOMED!

Oh I don’t think so!

*imitates Obi-Wan using the Force to throw Grievous*

Wait, so how many times has Cody had to hold onto Obi-Wan’s lightsaber when Obi-Wan freaking drops it?

Death Star plans?

Big question: so how old is Anakin here? He’s 19/20 in “Attack of the Clones” and there’s at least a one or two year time jump in S3 of TCW.

Yo, that means he was like late 30s/early 40s when he died in “Return of the Jedi.” Well shoot, man...

Yeah, Obi-Wan, let’s freaking kick the crazy homicidal cyborg. Great idea.

Is Grievous just covered in gasoline or something because he just went up in flames *snaps* just like that.

Ohhhh this scene with Anakin and Padme looking at the windows of their respective places is really good...

Look at freaking Anakin here!

George Lucas deserves any and all sins for the bad dialogue for Anakin because Hayden Christensen can really act when he’s not given any dialogue and he’s just told to react.

So, with that, henceforth, there shall be no dissing Hayden Christensen on my blog.

I AM THE SENATE!

Dramatic window break!

Palpatine’s lightsaber just freaking deactivated as soon as Windu kicked it out the window

Wowwww... the prosthetics on Palpatine look.. bad....

UNLIMITED.... POOWEEERRRRR!!!

I just realized that Anakin kind of walks over to Palpatine on his knees before he pledges himself to Palpatine

Why Darth “Vader” though? Is there any special reasoning for that?

AN: Holy crap, there’s an hour left and Anakin has just turned to the Dark Side...

Pfftttt....

THESE SHOTS THOUGH

Man, I need to download more tracks from this soundtrack...

You can tell that that’s green screen behind Cody

*in best Palpatine impression* Execute Order 66!

Nooooooooooooo, Boga!

Aaaaand everyone dies and it sucks now!

Ughh, Aayla Secura...

NOOOOOOOOOO PLO KOONN!

What planet is that?

Here’s my question: in Rebels, how the heck did Thrawn get Gree’s helmet? Was there an imperial campaign out on Kashyyyk and he found it somewhere?

That small matte painting shot of the Jedi Temple burning is actually really pretty now that I see it again

Yooooo can we talk about this padawan though?

Kashyyyk has twin moons...

So what happens to Chewie after this and before the Han Solo movie?

Heeeyyyyyyy I know that kind of ship!

“Have faith, my love [Padme]...” Uhhhh... Padme should have picked up on how... off that line was

How has NO ONE in the Senate (besides Organa and probably Mon Mothma) picked up on Padme’s pregnancy?

*imitates Palpatine* Mustafaaarrrrr....

“Could be a trap.” It’s Star Wars. There’s always a trap.

What’s that planet right next to Mustafar?

Random xylophone scales!

Yoda is taking no prisoners!

Where are the lightsaber/balster holes in the younglings? Yoda said that they were probably killed by lightsaber so where are the marks on their bodies?

Yellow eyes...

“So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause.” Best. line. Ever. Someone send flowers and chocolates to Natalie Portman.

“I've recalibrated the code, warning all surviving Jedi to stay away.” Aaaagghh and we see it in Rebels and in the Last Padawan comic!

Don’t mind me casually dying

I just noticed that gradually throughout this movie, you can see Obi-Wan get grey hairs in his sideburns

*Obi-Wan sneaks onto Padme’s ship to Mustafar* Where did he come from?!?

“You [Darth Vader] have restored peace and balance to the galaxy.” *in best Anakin voice* OK... now what?

“And together, you [Padme] and I [Anakin] can rule the galaxy! We can make things the way we want them to be!” Wow, “The Last Jedi” is just smackin’ me in the face right now

Anakin... you’re breaking my heart!

That is just extremely bad timing on Obi-Wan’s part

YOU HAVE DONE THAT YOURSELF!

Your new Empire?!?

DEMOCRACY!

“Only a Sith deals in absolutes.” A what?

That’s a pretty nasty lisp you have there. Might wanna do something about that.

You know how this Yoda vs. Palpatine fight could be more amazing? Just add helium

Honestly, for the BIG DEAL fight between Anakin and Obi-Wan, it just goes on for a little bit too long.

Plus when it’s intercut with the Yoda vs. Palpatine, the latter is way more entertaining (hello, two most powerful peope going head to head with actual Force lightning being involved?)

Are they [Anakin and Obi-Wan] just kicking each other with the Force now? Wow...

NOT EVEN HITTING EACH OTHER!

Seriously, they’re just banging their lightsabers together and calling that a fight. C’mon... actually try to hit the opponent!

Duel of the Fates!

*Palpatine throws the Senate chairs at Yoda with the Force* So I threw the Senate at him!

Honestly, you could cut out this whole balance thing on the sinking balcony and mining buildings/walkways

Commander Fox?

ExPLOsions...

Noooo... cut this out...

“Into exile, I [Yoda] must go. Failed, I have.” And yet people complain about Luke doing the exact same thing in the sequel trilogy

You’re not even trying to hit each other!

FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, THE JEDI ARE EVIL!

IT’S OVER, ANAKIN! I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND!

YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!

“You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you.” Uuuggghhhh....

I actually read somewhere that Ewan McGregor actually asked George Lucas to change the line to past tense instead of the original present tense. Which is sad, so thanks Ewan.

Can’t you just put out the fire with the Force?

How did 3PO and R2 get an unconscious Padme on board?

Where is this?

*Palpatine’s shuttle lands in Coruscant* It was a dark and stormy night...

Y’know, at this point, me comparing Anakin being repaired and transformed into Darth Vader and the creation of Frakenstein’s monster is almost inevitable at this point...

Stupid question, but what’s the significance of the names “Luke” and “Leia” concerning the themes present in the movies? Or is that up to people like me who enjoy the meta to find that out?

He [Darth Vader] just killed that medical droid next to him...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Do not want....

“...[Qui Gon] learned the path to immortality...” In the TV show!

I like how the last line in this freaking movie is “Oh no!” and it’s from 3PO...

Triceratops rams!

The design for Padme’s funeral garb is actually Iain McCaig’s favorite concept art

How did they develop TIE fighters so quickly?

Oh my God, the dude they got to play Tarkin... oh God...

Definitely not Peter Cushing

*gasp* Leia’s theme!

Random eopie noise!

Oh my God, “Binary Suns”...

Obi-Wan’s like “Great, now I gotta help a pair of random, separate Force-sensitive teenagers and their astromechs in the near future...”

Wait, they put Ewan McGregor in top billing?

“With Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu” Thamuel El Jackthson!

Holy crap, I forgot Joel Edgerton plays young Uncle Owen

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demetriandelibinaryboyfriends · 3 years ago

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Season 4, Episode 6: An Extremely Chaotic and Incoherent Review

My favorite episode!!! GET READY FOR HEAD FULL MANY THOUGHTS

The Good:

"Kicks Get Chicks" *is the gayest episode in the entire season* Kicks get DICKS more like

"Sure, we're good for the occasional inspirational moment, but we're not exactly center mat material" HA, love that this fucker is self aware

He knows he's the Comic Relief Guy and he embraces it fully

"He who shall not be named" absolutely LOVE how Demetri just fucking despises Robby now but is trying to be lowkey about it so as not to stir the pot

If he could I'm pretty sure Demetri would pummel this man six ways to Sunday

Once again reminding everyone that Robby paralyzed and nearly killed Demetri's best friend, betrayed his and Demetri's dojo, and then held down and forcefully shaved Demetri's other best friend

Yeah he wants to like...murder Robby at this point honestly

I can't blame him, either--if someone fucked over my bestie, my dojo, AND my crush??? I would indeed be out for blood, yes

The way Demetri looks CRUSHED when Daniel's like "I know you're missing your friends but we have to put the past behind us" :( :( :(

He just wants his boyfriend back god bless

Wow no wonder Tory's fucked up, with an aunt like THAT

GOOD LORD

This season is kinda making me love Tory, I'll admit

I never thought I'd see the day but here we are

SIAHDZUIYVDX JOHNNY TRAINING IN A PLACE WITH BLACK MOLD

Could this man BE any more delightfully unhinged

Johnny Lawrence's dojo marketing will never NOT be hysterical

"Smack-dab between the pipe supply and the burned-down Chuck E. Cheese" SIR

"I'm asexual" WELL at least we exist on television, right???

I guess this is the queer rep we get for Season 4, RIP

YOOOOO IT'S MY GIRL MOON

Even funnier that Yasmine lowkey fits her type too, which is apparently mean, cocky bitches who don't take shit from anyone

Oh SHIT, Sam catching Amanda talking to Tory??? This boutta get JUICY

OKAY HERE WE GO HERE WE GO

BASEMENT SCENE LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO

I've got a lot to say here but I'll try to organize my thoughts somewhat

FIRST OF ALL, I am absolutely delighted that my headcanon that these two have been friends since kindergarten and can easily let themselves into each other's houses is correct!!!

Also Demetri's gay ass is obsessed--I have a lot of long-time childhood friends, and I don't have the location of their spare house keys memorized XD

"You should really think about increasing your security given, you know, THE KARATE WAR???" Not Demetri still being the most overprotective goddamn boyfriend I've ever SEEN

He gets pissy at his friends whenever they do (or suggest) something dangerous that could get them hurt, and it's kind of hilarious but also adorable

He cares so much but has like 0 tact in showing it, bless his soul

The overprotective pissiness is turned up to eleven with Eli though, which is pretty gay

I knew so many dudes in high school who were obsessed with and idolized Batman to a weird extent so like

A very confident "YOU'RE BATMAN!!!" from a guy who seems to be one of those Batman-obsessed boys is uh

Basically a love confession

"Oh, I forget, you're not a DC guy" losing my MIND, I can't believe absolute edgelord Eli Moskowitz isn't into the kind of dark, gritty shit DC is constantly putting out XD

Plot twist of the century honestly

"Forget Batman, you're The Hawk!!!" Hey um check and fucking MATE, haters who threw shade at Demetri for being a bad friend because he never fully accepted the "Hawk" persona

He wouldn't use that as a means of trying to build back Eli's confidence if he hadn't learned to embrace "Hawk" at least somewhat????

And like even if he's still not the biggest fan of "Hawk," he thinks talking about that is what'll make Eli happy and help cheer him up and feel better about himself

He just wants Eli to be his best, happiest self ;__;

"I just proved I was an asshole. To Moon, to Miguel...especially you." Gonna point out that he listed what I think are the 3 most important people to him and he emphasized Demetri

THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HIM AFTER HE SAYS THAT OH GOD THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HIM

And I could swear his voice cracks a little, like he's legit getting choked up just thinking about all the fuckery he subjected Dem to

This dude still has so much guilt festering in him about what he did to Demetri, fucker loves Demetri so much ;_;

"I forgave you, remember?" Dem of course we remember you giving in to Eli's puppy dog eyes in all of 2 seconds because you're deeply in love with him

OPE my homebody Demetri literally says he doesn't give a fuck how Eli does his hair, he still thinks he's the shit regardless

Sorry "Demetri only accepts Eli and not Hawk" truthers, y'all are wrong again

He loves all versions of Eli Moskowitz, he just doesn't want him to be an asshole actually

Which seems reasonable to me

Tfw when you say "Miyagi-Do needs you" but what you really mean is "I need you"

Gay gay homosexual gay

Okay I read some steaming hot takes about Demetri coming to emotionally blackmail Eli to join Miyagi Do or whatever, but...no??? The dude is clearly just panicking and venting and also has no filter at all when he's stressed

Like everything here just seems like panicked word vomit to me, he doesn't seem nearly controlled enough to come in with some devious plan to trick Eli into joining his dojo :/

The whole ramble when Demetri first comes down into the basement reads like he's having an anxiety attack tbh

Can't really blame him, since he's dealing with the stress of worrying Cobra Kai is gonna wipe the floor with him AND his recently-traumatized best friend going totally fucking AWOL

And Demetri seems like the type who snaps and lashes out when he's worried and/or stressed, and like I said, that could account for the absolute lack of any filter he has here

Hence "WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK??? IT'LL GROW BACK!" Certainly not the most tactful thing to say, but Demetri is way too anxious to think before he blabs, it seems

Ah, so it's the "That's just great, you're choosing Eagle Fang over your best friend" line that everyone's getting hot and bothered about

Honestly I chock this one up to anxiety-induced word vomit, too...like Demetri is kinda just rambling and speaking his mind and his panicky thoughts are going BRRRRRRR so fast that he's definitely not stopping to consider if he's coming across as an ass

And anyways, like...considering Johnny DID help mold Eli into a dude who fully embraced toxic masculinity and bullied the shit out of Demetri, I...don't think it's that unreasonable for him to have reservations about Eli going back to Eagle Fang :/ Like I don't blame him for not wanting Eli to go back to a situation that brought out some of the worst in him

And also like??? Eli fucken dragged Demetri through the ringer and Demetri only just got Eli back in his life a few months ago, of course he would panic if he thought Eli was gonna leave him behind again!

And maybe even lash out and be a bit of a dick, cuz ya know. Homeboy's not perfect

So Eli saying "I'm not going BACK to Miyagi-Do" instead of "I'm not JOINING Miyagi-Do" implies they've discussed Eli joining MD before. I do feel like this needs to be its own scene to clarify, but it's still important to note

So no, he's not tryna guilt trip Eli into joining MD out of nowhere, he's following up on something he and Eli seem to have previously talked about

The "OH SHIT" look on Demetri's face when Eli says he quits KILLS me. Like that's his wakeup call that oh fuck, this is THAT serious and he looks absolutely horrified that Eli has hit rock bottom so hard he's resorted to quitting that has essentially become his favorite thing in the world ;___;

"Yes I will be awake" "NO SENSEI BE WOKE" Johnny Lawrence you are literally always going to make me just lose it

"What about nonbinary and genderfluid?" "Yes fluids are CRUCIAL, if you don't hydrate, it affects performance" He a little confused, but he got the spirit!!!

Also headcanon that Moon is genderfluid but isn't publicly out yet--Piper was one of the only people Moon came out to

Hence why Piper is so quick to make sure Johnny is including genderfluid people! You dun best believe she’ll still defend her ex-girlfriend’s honor

My main reasoning here is that Moon is the most transgender name I have ever heard in my entire life

Highkey love seeing Miguel and Johnny's relationship at its best again. I missed them so much!!!

Honestly good on Sam for standing up for herself!!! She's highkey right that her parents haven't really been listening to her or trying to properly address her trauma

Like for FUCK'S sake, the girl has PTSD!!! Put her in therapy!!!

Oh HELL yes, Amanda backstory!!! Let's fuckin GOOOO!!!

Oh shit, she got arrested??? PLOT TWIST OF THE CENTURY

I mean given that she married someone as chaotic and hotheaded as Daniel this shouldn't actually come as a surprise but STILL

Oh damn, I was wrong!!! I thought Amanda took pity on Tory because she saw some of young Daniel in her, but she actually sees a lot of her younger self in her ;___; Okay okay okay okay I need a minute

Lowkey they're right that "bad kids" just get told the same thing over and over and it's never gonna help course-correct

"She's not the only one who needs a wake-up call" *cuts to Eli in a depressive funk fully believing he can never do karate again* CIMENA

"You put me in a situation where I had to join the dojo" this is probably the kindest possible way to put it, considering said "situation" was "threatening me and then attempting to beat me up over a Yelp review" XD

Ah, so I see Demetri has regained some semblance of tact! Guess the worst of the anxiety attack finally passed, now that he's had the chance to take in that Eli is in fact safe (if having quite the Sadboi Hours) and not kidnapped and beat up by Kyler and co.

Uhhhhh not Demetri telling Eli that him getting Dem into Eli's special interest was the best thing that ever happened to him

Like you telling anyone that them getting you into something they liked is the best thing that ever happened to you is just so Extra and over-the-top that it's extremely difficult not to read as romantic because like

I've had a lot of friends get me into stuff over the years, and I never looked them dead in the eye like "YOU INTRODUCING ME TO THIS THING WAS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME"

Anyways tl;dr Demetri is in love

Duh

ALSO Eli's wide-eyed, pleasantly surprised look when Dem says karate is the best thing that ever happened to him, MY HEART

Oh god oh why oh no Eli looks SO FUCKING SAD when Demetri starts talking about Yasmine

Thanks I hate it

I know that look, that's the EXACT expression I make when my crush starts talking about their crush

*Bart Simpson voice* "You can pinpoint the exact moment his heart rips in half!"

"It's not gonna be as exciting if you're not there" I stg this fucker Demetri just sees the world through this sad, destitute, mopey lens when Eli isn't around and then Eli shows up and suddenly everyone upped the color saturation by like 500% and everything is all vibrant and fantastic

Again, this dude is in love

Also the way he looks at Eli when he says it, MY GOD

YOOO THERE WE FUCKIN GO THERE'S THAT SHOULDER SQUEEZE

"Scuse me" *Eli proceeds to have 0 issues with Demetri getting all up in his personal space and practically cuddling with him* Yeah, these dudes are GAY

Like Demetri is LEANING on this man like a giant cat and Eli is just like "I have no problem with this"

"I say a lot of things" God you sure do

THERE'S THE SQUEEZE THERE'S THE SQUEEZE THERE'S THE PRECIOUS SHOULDER SQUEEZE

I'm going feral actually

You tellin me this dumb video has 15k views??? I'm betting this is a viral meme in certain niche circles

And there's definitely some YouTube community who ships them

THESE IDIOTS CAN'T SING

Also are you telling me Demetri made his codename "zer0" and Eli's codename "the 1" and he's NOT in love with Eli???? Uh HUH

Like it's the perfect manifestation of Demetri's cripplingly low self-esteem (wouldn't be surprised if the dude really did consider himself a "zero" of sorts) and him fully indeed believing Eli is in fact The One (romantic)

And he's right!

Also can we appreciate just how INTO IT Eli is getting in the video??? Like this dude has literally always had a hammy, overdramatic side, it's just that prior to them meeting Miguel, Demetri was the only person who could bring it out ;__;

Absolutely HYSTERICAL that Eli is still so deeply and personally offended at the mere idea of being a "loser" XD

The utter HORROR on his face when he says it, I can't with him

"Because this is who you are" "A loser?" "My BEST FRIEND" *sobs*

Also I'm very certain that Demetri could potentially have made other friends and wasn't actually "stuck" with Eli before Miguel showed up, but he just straight up never wanted anyone but Eli as his best friend

"I know you think that mohawk defined who you are, but it didn't. Not to me. Eli, Hawk, hell, call yourself Cornelius for all I care. None of that changes the fact that you're my Binary Brother." ONCE AGAIN CHECK-MATING YOU FUCKERS WHO THOUGHT DEMETRI NEVER ACCEPTED THE HAWK PERSONA AND ONLY WANTS TIMID SADBOI ELI

He LITERALLY just said "I don't give a shit what you go by or how you wear your hair, nothing can ever change what you mean to me"

ALSO "Eli, Hawk, hell, call yourself Cornelius for all I care." basically confirms that Demetri would be down to call Eli Hawk if that's what he really wanted!!! And the hopeful look Eli gives Dem when he says "Hawk"!!!! Like I think this is the first time Eli truly realizes that Demetri fully accepts him no matter what he goes by and how he chooses to present himself and he's so euphoric about it and I think that's beautiful

Also they deadass did the "I'll take care of you." "It's rotten work." "Not to me. Not if it's you." convo with Demetri and Eli I am SCREAMING

Also ALSO my headcanon is that Demetri actually started calling Eli Cornelius as a joke and then it turned into a legitimate pet name when they started dating

"Whether you're number one...or zero" My homeboy Demetri really just said "I will take you at your best AND your worst" in Nerd

The way he looks at Eli during this entire exchange kills me, this man is so in love I'm getting secondhand pining just from looking at his big sad eyes

Actually kind of loved the Daniel-Robby interaction here because like. Daniel isn't trying to make excuses for Robby here or be like "it's okay, I know you still have a good heart!!!" Like he's done trying to be a "savior" guy and he's basically saying "do what you want, it's your life" but at the same time, he still cares enough to give Robby a warning

"I heard what you did to Eli" (threatening)

Hell yeah, Scary Daniel has entered the chat! EXCEPT

"I'm not here to judge you." Okay, well I am. Get over here Robby, I'm going to beat your ass

OH HELL FUCKING YES, AISHA ROBINSON MY LOVE

I know she's only going to be here for like 2 minutes but her presence fills me with an overpowering calmness and serenity that somehow convinces me that everything will be all right

"I broke a kid's nose" Legit forgot what an incredibly badass queen this woman is. I stan

Okay I've seen some people complaining that the writers seemed to forget that Tory and Aisha were friends too BUT I raise you that after Tory tried to basically murder Sam in the school fight I feel like it's not that whack to think Aisha would side with Sam

Like Tory went after Aisha's childhood best friend with lethal-seeming intent TWICE, it's not all that unreasonable to assume Aisha would cut ties with Tory after that

"But Tory was a better friend to Aisha!!!" Okay but Aisha and Tory were friends for like...a couple months at most, and Sam and Aisha had been friends for years and just happened to be going through a rough patch when Cobra Kai came to town. I feel like a few months of on-and-off falling out aren't really enough to cancel out a lifelong friendship, or make you suddenly not be concerned about your estranged friend's actual safety. Or side with the girl relentlessly attacking said estranged friend.

Like this coming from someone who does indeed enjoy Tory x Aisha, yes, but I do think it's important to keep things in perspective yn

"These are the same overprotective LaRussos who made me wear a helmet on your trampoline" OKAY THEY WOULD

"She's my bestie. My new school bestie, you'll always be the OG" SCREAMING CRYING SOBBING

GOOD GOD I'VE MISSED THEIR FRIENDSHIP SO MUCH

We were ROBBED I tell you ;___;

Okay I fuckin love that Aisha went "I'm gonna take all this karate bullshit I learned and use it for the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP"

And she's right!

When will Aisha return from the war??? I need her

Pretty sure she has one of the only brain cells in the valley and they desperately need it right now

I want Sam and Aisha to keep in touch and bond over their appreciation for Johnny's chaotic yet proactive life advice

PLEASE I need it

Also this fucker Johnny Lawrence really wanted to crossdress Mitch and thought no one would be fooled

As of last scene I NEED to see Sam and Aisha's reaction to this

All of Miyagi-Do chanting "MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT" is so funny because we know damn well none of these guys are the ones who truly want Demetri's meat

If you catch my drift

"DAMN IT" I’ll bet Demetri's more anxious and high-strung than usual because he feels bad about having to leave Eli to wallow in his sorrows in his basement and go to karate practice ;__;

OH so Eli decides to join Miyagi-Do to be with Demetri, despite literally all his other close friends being in Eagle Fang??? Fellas, is it gay to join your Totally Platonic Bro's dojo full of people who are still kind of mad at you because you want to help your Totally Platonic Bro out in the AVT that bad????

Not Demetri looking at him with huge doe eyes in the background ;___;

"Is it Eli or Hawk?" "Doesn't matter, I'm just here to do what I can to help out the team" Nice to get an official confirmation that basically throughout S4 Eli has never fucking minded when Demetri called him Eli instead of Hawk

Legit have seen people upset he's cool with going by Eli again, and like??? I'm pretty sure him not feeling like he has to have a cool nickname to kick ass at karate is a good thing actually???

Like ffs let him embrace softboi Eli!!! Let him be gentle and vulnerable and true to himself, even the parts that aren't all hardcore and macho!!! He can cry at sad movies with his boyfriend Demetri and still pound your whiney toxic masculinity-obsessed ass into the ground, actually!

I SWEAR I heard Demetri's voice crack at "it's good to have you back, man"

Do I see tears in his eyes??? Is he HAPPY CRYING???

Demetri stop being so in love and so painfully unaware of it, it's making me embarrassed for you

HOLY SHIT SAM TELLING TORY OFF WAS LOWKEY TERRIFYING

But in the BEST possible way

Still feel bad for Tory, but like...SAM. QUEEN. Taking 0 shit from Tory and I am HERE FOR IT

"I'm coming for you, bitch" *evil smirk* YOU ABSOLUTE SAVAGE

Aisha was like "respond to your problems with love!" and Sam actively chose violence instead, kind of love that for her

The Bad:

Damn, these fuckers really dedicated 3 whole minutes of screentime to an AVT board meeting instead of. You know. Hawk's trauma. Or why the fuck Moon and Piper broke up. Or what Yasmine actually does with her time aside from being thirsty for Demetri. Or Daniel tryna deal with some recent manifestation of his Terry Silver trauma. Or Demetri hunting down and beating the shit out of/attempting to beat the shit out of Kyler and Gang. Or Carmen getting to do something independent of her son-and-boyfriend-related storylines. Or literally anything else

Can you tell I'm a little pressed

Also I stg they're just using the separate gender division thing as an excuse to milk even more drama out of the AVT

Like the stakes are already high enough, y'all don't need to kick them up even HIGHER and complicate the plot even more, like

We already have like 7 arcs going so let's introduce a new conflict/arc instead of working on resolving the ones we already have going

Also it's like

"What hamfisted excuse can we use to introduce more badass female characters for Woke Points so we don't have to give the ones we already have any depth whatsoever?" (Yes I'm talking about Moon and Yasmine)

Literally would not even be hard to flesh them out A TINY BIT but the show just said "no thank you, they don't properly exist as people outside of their relationship to these two gay nerd boys"

Also they’re depriving me of a Demetri-Tory fight and this is an unforgivable crime

Demetri was literally so ready to throw hands with her when she threatened Eli last season, and now we shall never perceive it

Disgusting

I just want overprotective boyfriend Demetri to fight everyone who threatens his mans

ALSO Sam deserves to beat the shit out of Kyler. As A Treat

Yeah I sure do remember that shit he pulled in S1

You try to feel up my girl and slut-shame her??? She deserves to beat yo ass like never before

And anyways we’ve seen multiple times that Sam and Tory can and do hold their own in fights against boys

So what gives, Cobra Kai???

I definitely feel Robby hatred emanating from Demetri but I would like to feel even more

This man has grievously wronged Demetri thrice now, as discussed above, and I think it would be fun if Demetri got on a warpath to absolutely destroying Robby Keene

Is it OOC, considering that Demetri is often rather violence-averse? Perhaps, but consider: I want him to find his inner darkness and become very scary

Speaking of which, why is Sam the only one who is super pissed and vindictive??? As if Demetri WOULDN'T be

Listen, being fight-averse doesn't extend to when your best friend who you're in love with gets pinned down and shaved

Ah, so the LGBT rep this season is acknowledging that asexuals, nonbinary people, and genderfluid people...exist???

Wow, such great rep, I'm shaking and clapping and cheering

Very convenient for the writers that their rep didn't include actually writing any LGBT characters

Also we still haven't gotten any fucking reason or explanation as to why Moon and Piper broke up

Like if they're gonna split up the only LGBT couple in the show, the very fucking LEAST they could do is tell us why :/

Was Piper becoming too much of a jerk for Moon to be okay with??? Did they clash because of Moon's staunch pacifism and refusal to get in a physical brawl ever??? Who the hell knows??? Definitely not us

Probably not the showrunners either

They just needed to set up the stupid Hawk x Moon plot that they're dragging out of the grave like a horrible gross heteronormative zombie

Okay as much as I love the basement scene I 1000% feel like there was a scene missing between the hair-shaving reveal and the basement scene

Like are you really telling me that Demetri didn't check in on Eli once until after he'd already been AWOL for a cool minute??? I simply do not buy it

And like it doesn't even have to be an Eli-Demetri scene, it could be something as simple as Demetri talking to Chris and being like "hey have you seen Eli? He hasn't been at school and he's not answering his phone. And he hasn't been to a single practice since...well, you know." And Chris is kinda confused like "No, I haven't see him at school, but wouldn't he be going to Eagle Fang practice???"

Cue Demetri explaining that he and Eli had previously discussed Eli potentially joining Miyagi-Do if the dojos split, so Demetri expecting Eli to join Miyagi-Do doesn't lowkey come out of nowhere

THEN Demetri asks Miguel if Eli's been at Eagle Fang practice, and Miguel is like "No, actually...I'm starting to get really worried tbh" and reveals Eli hasn't been answering Miguel's texts and calls either

And THEN Demetri busts into Eli's basement like "WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN"

They seriously could have replaced that AVT board meeting scene with this bit and it would have made everything 4000x better

ALSO like. Why is Miguel not concerned at all about Eli regularly bailing on practice??? They're buddies--I'd expect ONE line of worried dialogue being like "Where's Hawk at?" at the very LEAST

Anyways like I mentioned before I feel like there needs to be some kind of explicit confirmation that Eli and Demetri previously talked about Eli joining Miyagi-Do if/when the dojos split, because otherwise Demetri being fully under the impression Eli's going to come back to MD instead of EF seems a little out of left field

Okay, wow. WOW. They seriously could not let Demetri and Eli have ONE scene

ONE GODDAMN SCENE

Without having Demetri bring up Yasmine to very insistently remind us that he's straight -___-

How even is Yasmine "the girl of your dreams" dude, her only personality traits are "hot" and "makes a sassy comment once every 7 years"

"None of that changes the fact that you're my binary brother" Damn they're seriously trying so damn hard to convince us these dudes have a "brotherly" relationship and simply will not accept it's never, ever going to work

Also did they seriously No Homo Demetri and Eli twice in one scene

Of course they fucking did

They know damn well there's gay tension but still deny it at every turn to appease the creepy homophobic conservative fanbase

For shame, homophobes! You've messed up a perfectly good queer-coded karate show is what you've done!

Look at it, it's got heteronormativity!!!

Regardless I can't help but get some amusement out of the fact that the writers are constantly trying so desperately hard to convince us Eli and Dem aren't gay because their interactions are just that inherently fruity

Y'all fighting a losing battle, we all know damn well they're gay

Hey Daniel I know Robby is your ex karate son but you absolutely should judge him for the shit he pulled with Hawk actually

Forceably shaving someone's head in an attempt to destroy their self-esteem is not very punk-rock at all

Also they really be treating Daniel's Terry Silver trauma like Trauma Lite

Like they're barely doing anything with it at all :/

If it's meant to be the reason he's being kind of a self-righteous jerk this season, then like??? They could talk about that??? They could explore it more and what the long-term effects Silver had were???

But nah, just one uncomfortable convenience store confrontation and that's all we need I guess

They GAVE me my Aisha Robinson??? Only to take her away again??? This is unspeakable cruelty and I am going to scream

Okay so like. Devon seems cool, don't get me wrong. But also can this show fucking CHILL with introducing new characters???

Like we are on SEASON FUCKING FOUR we have PLENTY of characters and arcs to work with already!!!

Also Cobra Kai Writers Stop Introducing New Female Characters Because You Don't Know How To Write Your Existing Ones Challenge

WHAT is this weak-ass bro-hug shit, I know my boy Demetri and he would absolutely CRUSH Eli in a hug, sorry

Maybe he doesn't wanna be TOO gay in front of all his MD friends but boy it is FAR too late for that

Damn the gayest episode is behind me now, idk what to do with myself :O

Guess I’ll have to create some Elimetri and YasMoon content

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