#some of the writing in here is gonna seem weird given the events in canada

[river-phillips]

No Competition | Feat. Chad The Werewolf

After returning from Canada and getting her wound all magically healed, River finds herself exploring her new neighborhood. Finding the local gym, she decides to pay it a visit. However, she wasn’t expecting to find a surprising competitive streak...and maybe a new job?

Chad loved his job. He was proud of his gym, he was impressed with his staff (even though they were still looking for some fresh meat; a couple of the personal trainers got married and moved to the Bahamas because they got picked for an episode of 'House Hunters: Beach Life'...but Chad wasn't jealous, nope) and most of all, he was very pleased with himself. Almost. As he murmured slogans of encouragement to the gym rat he was spotting, Chad was a little distracted by his own mirror image. Was one of his pecs getting saggy? "Is that ten yet?" the weight trainee gasped, arms trembling under the dumbells. "What? Oh! Oh yeah bro, yeah you're - here lemme take that for you- " Chad reached to grab the dumbell with his right hand, but then switched to take it with his left. The side with the droopy nipple. "Walk it off brah, then 15 minutes on the stairmaster and hit the showers. Yeah!" He towel flicked the trainee's ass. "Remember to hydrate! It's legs tomorrow and I ain't gonna go easy on you, a'ight? Get it, brah. Go for it run, run RUN!" As the gym rat fled to the machines, Chad returned to studying his own reflection. He began to do some standing chest presses with the heaviest dumbells on the rack. "Pain is the cleanser. Perfect body, perfect soul. Pain is the cleanser. Perfect body, perfect soul."

River had visited a doctor in Soapberry after getting back from Canada and gotten her wound healed up with the help of a little magic. It had cost her a little extra, but she needed to be in top shape for her upcoming fight. She’d called off work again. Work at the docks was slowly killing her. Repetitive work. Unsatisfying and boring. She loved the physicality of it though. Loved that it kept her fit. She'd probably never been in better shape in her life than she was right now. Even if her anxiety often made her feel powerless, it was hard to deny the effect that toned, strong muscles could have on her confidence. She felt powerful physically, even for the small thing she was. As she walked through her neighborhood, she spotted a gym she'd never seen before. Not because it was new, but because she hadn't really taken the time to properly explore the neighborhood yet. “Weight For It”. Heh, funny name. She could appreciate a good pun. With that fight in the Underground coming up soon, she needed a place to train... and at least she knew she had a place to keep her body in check even if she quit her job. She really didn't even need one, at least not for a while, with Ash around...but she didn't want to be a charity case either. Then, she spotted the sign on the door of the gym and got a little closer. "Help Wanted: Personal Trainer". Hmmm. Before her mind could plant any doubt, River pushed through the door and into the noisy lobby of the gym. She approached the desk before her nerve disappeared, which was happening quickly, noted by the stammer in her speech. "I s-saw the sign out front. You're looking for a p-personal trainer?" The receptionist stood, almost a foot taller than her and built like a wall, giving her a look. Not judgement, really. Just amused. She swallowed nervously. "I'm interested in applying..."

The receptionist was a gatekeeper of sorts - and maybe she came off as a little intimidating, but she was Chad's brother's wife's cousin and so he really couldn't say no when she needed a job. Plus, she was hella stacked, from her strong neck down to her flexing ankles. (Maybe Chad had asked her out on a date once - casual like, and he even offered not to pay for her, because he heard women liked being independent or something. She turned him down, but he considered himself one of the good guys and therefore didn't resent her for it. He was pretty cool about it, if he said so himself). Regardless, before the receptionist could respond to the stuttering short creature before her, Chad's keen werewolf ears overheard the word 'applying'. "What? Rache, yo Rache! Bring her ovah hear," Chad beckoned, putting on a New Jersey accent for no reason other than the fact that he really liked Jersey Shore. "Yooooo ayyy, yo you want to apply? For what? Tow - towel girl?" Chad chuckled, sneaking a glance at Rachel to see if she'd laugh. She gave Chad a pity smile, and returned to the front desk, leaving River and Chad alone. Chad grunted. "Step into my office..." he said, then looked around, arms spread in mock-surprise. "Oh! Looks like we're already there. Because this gym is like my office," he kindly mansplained to River.

When the exaggerated New Jersey accent ripped through the gym, River suddenly had second thoughts on this whole thing. What was she getting herself in to? She let Rachel the Receptionist guide her over to the yelling man by the free weights, and he was immediately making jokes about her wanting to apply. Yeah, this was definitely a bad idea. "No, for the personal trainer position," she said, evening out her tone as best she could, though it was still a little shaky. Her nerves and doubt was being overpowered by her stubbornness in that moment. This guy seemed like a meathead and she wouldn't let him laugh on her expense. She shared a meaningful glance with Rachel as she departed and left them alone. "Good one," she said, sprinkling in a little sarcasm through her smile. "So, about that position..."

Chad eyed River, realizing belatedly that she was serious. He popped his hips from one side to the other, sucking his teeth and assessing her. "I'm Chad, this is my gym," he finally said. "And you are...?" Chad decided to walk around River in a slow circle, two fingers tapping against his lips a la LL Cool J (but not nearly half as cool, not that Chad realized) as he assessed her. He couldn't quite tell how fit she was under her clothes. "What do you know about positions, uh-heh heh, uhhhh little girl?" Chad chuckled again. Fortunately he was so gym-centric he wasn't referring to anything salacious. Waving his hand towards the weight machines, he asked in a pleasant and condescending way. "You even know how you use anything here? It's all real really very complicated, yo."

"River," she answered. River didn't like to be judgmental of people if she could help it, especially when she first met them, but in light of all the things he'd said and done so far....of course his name was Chad. She simply raised her eyebrows at his vulgar comments. "Of course I do," she asserted, deciding to leave the 'little girl' comment alone. Usually insisting you weren't little and immature just made you look more little and immature. She started to point at the machines, naming off their technical names and the muscle groups they focused on one by one. She'd been pretty interested in anatomy in school, and the only way she'd stayed in shape on the road and hadn't turned into a beach ball from all the greasy diner and junk food was getting time in at gyms all across the country with their 'trial membership' programs. When she was satisfied she'd proved her point, she turned to Chad, a smug smile curling at her lips.

Chad blinked at her, his patronizing smirk slowly fading into a near-comical open mouthed face. One might even call it the quintessential 'o'-face coined by Office Space. Eyes big, mouth round, and even the frosted tips of his well-waxed hair seeming to wilt slightly as River methodically listed so thoroughly. "Yeah. Yeah but - yeah but - but -" Chad said, because in all honesty some of the muscles that River listed were new to Chad. He started to laugh and clap his hands (or tried, but his rotund chest got in the way). "Oh man bruh! Did you like make up some of those? Because I'm pretty sure they ain't actual..." Chad glanced over at Rachel, who shook her head slowly, confirming that all of River's anatomy knowledge was accurate and real. "Oh. I guess...well you know your stuff, what're you a sports science chick or something? I took a class once....it was...uh..." Chad struggled to regroup. "Uhhhh....okay uh, you got a like a resume or something River-girlie?" But Chad didn't want to read, reading was boring, so he sucked his teeth again. "Never mind the resume shit, let's...oh I know! I'll pretend to be a work out newbie and you can show me what you'd do to train me." Chad got into character, putting on a timid face and turning his feet inwards. "I've only done zumba classes. Um. What's a kettlebell?"

River felt her teeth grit at being called 'girlie', but let it go. The look Rachel was giving her was one of understanding, but also gave her the sense that if a girl like that was still around this oaf of a man and put up with him, he couldn't be all bad. He sure wasn't showing any good qualities yet. She took a deep breath and nodded, going along with the roleplay he'd stared. "You've only taken a zumba class? Well, a kettlebell is not where you should start then. We should keep up the momentum you started in zumba and do some cardio first, after some stretching." She smirked, guided him on some simple stretches, and then stepped on a treadmill, motioning for Chad to step on the one next to her. If there was one thing being a selkie and swimming your entire life did, it was keep up your endurance and give you killer lung capacity. Out in the cold air she might not have been able to keep her breath on a hike with Rye, but here in a temperature controlled environment, she knew she had this guy beat. She started a warm up jog on the treadmill, quickly cranking up the speed to a full on run.

Chad was not a sprinter, or a cardio guy really. He did his cardio out of necessity, but most of his time was spent admiring himself pumping iron. But Chad's competitive spirit was always in full-gear, and at first it was mostly to show up the short girl and send her off without a job but hopefully with a year gym membership. But once River kept accelerating, Chad knew he was unable to compensate. His werewolf stamina could only take him so far - "Oh ow ow ow - chafe - chafing -" Chad panted, hitting the button on the panel to slow the treadmill down, and eventually he waddled off, hands inserted between his thick thighs. With a heavy sigh, he squatted there, letting his werewolf healing rid the chafing between his thighs, as he plucked his shorts back down. Sweating profusely, Chad grabbed his water and gulped some down, spraying some on his face. He laughed and wagged a finger at River. "You got one up on Chad, I'll give you that one. You wouldn't do that to any of the members right?" Chad drank more as he thought, and motioned to the water fountain so River could drink as well. She knew her stuff about the machines, and she was clearly fit, but Chad had one last test. Once he'd drank enough, Chad dropped to the mat. "If you can beat Chad in push-ups, you got yourself a job." Why on earth Chad started referring to himself in third-person was beyond anyone; one might argue when he was insecure, he chose to disassociate. But everyone knew Chad was hardly that complicated. Once River was on the mat beside him, he began to do push-ups, counting out loud as his face gradually turned a beet red.

Once Chad had given up, River calmly hit the button to slow down the treadmill and graceful trotted off. Probably the most graceful she'd been out of the water in a long time. "Of course I wouldn't. But I thought you could handle it," she countered, adopting a diluted version of the same condescending tone he'd been flinging her way so far. She raised an eyebrow as Chad started to talk about himself in the third person, but wordlessly followed him to the fountain to drink. Compared to him, she was barely winded, her cheeks only a little red. When he challenged her to push ups, she audibly chuckled. "Really? That's all I have to do?" Quickly dropping down beside him, she started up the push ups on his count. Her upper body strength was probably her biggest asset here, and she had a lot less weight than him to lift up with each push up. Chad's face started troubling shade of red. River felt her own face getting hot too, and her biceps were burning, but it was a good burn, and she had no problem continuing. "You doing okay over there, Chad?" she asked, a little sarcasm slipping through.

"I'm doing great, you try keeping up!" Chad wheezed, but he didn't relent. Once he hit around 70 push-ups though (a small crowd had gathered loosely around to watch and cheer them on) he paused, then collapsed with a loud whoosh noise. The people applauded the winner who was, clearly, River. "Wicked reps, bro," Chad said - and really, it was his highest form of praise. Laying on the mat, he mopped his face with a towel first, then looked around at the members who'd gathered. There was excitement in their faces, an atmosphere of friendly fitness that Chad truly did aspire towards despite his goombah bravado. And he was at least savvy enough to recognize that the goodwill was all generated by River, who seemed just as competitive as he was. He sat up, then jumped to his feet and waited for River to stand up too. "Lose the stuttering and you can start on Monday if you like" Chad announced, holding out his meaty hand to shake her much smaller one. "I expect my personal trainers to have the confidence you showed just now, or else no one's gonna listen to you. And we put our trainers through training first, so we're all on the same board. You...uh...so you wanna fill out the papers and all that?"

River couldn't help but smile wide as Chad fell to the mat, doing a few more push ups before doing the same herself. It was only then that she'd noticed the small crowd that had formed around them. Usually she’d have been embarrassed by that realization, but right now, it was actually making her smile. One of the members of the crowd tossed her a clean towel, and she mopped the sweat off her face before standing to join Chad. She was a little taken aback by the mention of her stuttering, not even noticing she hadn’t faltered at all since Chad had started to challenge her. The competition had actually fueled her confidence instead of killing it like usual. “You got it,” she said, gripping his hand and surprised when her voice didn’t falter now that the competition was over. She was still riding that high it seemed. “Uh, yeah. Let’s do it!” She looked around at the members that were slowly dispersing now. Future clients, actually. She looked back to Chad with a smirk. “We have a pool right?”

As a werewolf, Chad did have a certain fondness for selkies. His Gramps had a legend that selkies were once wolves....or was that the other way around? Anyway, it was a cool story that made selkies and wolves seem like brothers. Selkies, of course, being the slightly weaker, kind of roly-poly brother, like Canada was to America. He could see a lot of Canada in this River, as he pumped her strong little hand. "Yeah, alright! Let's get this done!" he grunted in enthusiasm following her enthusiasm. He added an extra grunt of emphasis and strode over to the reception desk, nodding his chin at Rachel. "Yo, Rache, get me up one 'a them - oh. You yeah those things," he said, when Rachel already produced the clipboard and application form to River. She smiled and said, "Welcome aboard the SS Chad." Chad laughed so loud, it was as if Rachel told the joke of the century with that witticism. "Good one, Rache. Ain't she a cut up?" He leaned against the counter, 'idly' flexing his biceps as he answered River. "Yeah we got a great pool. Once you finish that, I'll take you on a tour of the place and then Rache will handle the rest of the paperwork for you. Once you're here for a couple weeks, we'll get you your own water bottle and towels with your name on it, we got all the benefits here, River. Yeah." Looking around proudly, Chad then repeated Rachel's words, "Welcome to the SS Chad!"

[stupidpianist]

16 october 2018

08:00: Turned off alarm, “forced self” not to go back to sleep immediately by thinking, “if you win this battle, you’ll start the day off with a victory, not a defeat,” realizing the latter part of this sentence was redundant, but unable to stop myself from thinking it anyways.

Apologizing to all my “liveblog fans” for the low quality liveblog yesterday, was still feeling very under the weather for almost the entire day. After the last update, I lay down in bed, thinking I was just going to “rest my body a little,” and then, like, literally a second after I lay down, I fell into the deepest nap, which lasted just under four whole hours. I guess my body was a lot more exhausted than I thought?? Regardless, the day felt distinctly “over” after that nap, so I looked at things on the internet (music reviews, YouTube, you know, “the usual”) until around midnight, showered, fell asleep again at one am. Feeling good about that, that I got so much sleep yesterday, like, so much.

Might explain why I woke feeling refreshingly “refreshed” for the first morning in a long time. Still coughing A LOT, but definitely feel a bit less sick than yesterday.

08:10: Turned off alarm for second time after lying in bed with eyes closed, sometimes alternating to eyes open, staring blankly at ceiling. Turned to my side and checked phone, which I keep charging on the nightstand to the right of my bed (the right if you’re lying down on it, not facing it). Briefly checked Facebook, Instagram, skimmed news headlines, checked weather.

08:12: On Tuesdays and Thursdays I have to make an 8:30 class in “McMed,” the medical building situated near the base of one of the ways to get up Mount Royal, so it’s a bit of a trek, and it’s a good twenty-plus minute walk from my apartment. I’ve found that if I power walk, I can get there in around seventeen minutes, depending on how long my strides are. So I need to “hustle,” gotta “hustle my butt to class,” gotta “push my butt up that hill.” Glad the weather is feeling like autumn, but the temperature is, characteristic for Montreal, “dropping rapidly” already… I fear it won’t be “sweater weather” for much longer...

Stood from bed, then, in an “extremely efficient manner,” I feel, in fluid, unstopping motion, put on brown corduroy pants, black short-sleeve t-shirt, flannel over shirt, “bunny sweater” over flannel, filled water kettle with water, set it to boil, went into the bathroom to “assess the situation” of how I looked, splashed water on face and hair, brushed teeth, placed yerba mate bag in mug, poured hot water in mug, put on boots, then sipped from almost-too-hot mate while taking a selfie of me sipping from it to put on Instagram story. Thought, “nice, nice, good job,” while stepping out apartment, knowing I would make it to class on time, and that I was atypically feeling ungroggy, though also a bit dim and unmotivated, though also unstressed, probably a result of the emotional stunting effects I always feel when I have a cold.

08:34: “Made it” with a minute to spare. Sitting in the furthest back row of the large lecture hall. Hey, between you and me, this is actually the first lecture in this psych stats class that I’m going to sit “all the way through.” I know what you’re thinking, please don’t think it, because I already am. I’m such a terrible student, I know, and I’m wasting so much money. The professor for this class is so efficient, and also so empathetic; she took a break partway through the lecture to ask us humorous questions from an old survey given to Americans, like, twenty years ago, including things like: “do you put on your socks and shoes in the order sock-shoe-sock-shoe, or sock-sock-shoe-shoe,” and “do you twirl your spaghetti when you eat it, or do you cut it into pieces?” I laughed “heartily” when nobody raised their hand for sock-shoe-sock-shoe. That order does seem hellish, to a significant degree, to me, at least, though the actual survey of Americans two decades ago said that around a third put their feet-things on in the order sock-shoe-sock-shoe. What the hell.

Got first assignment back and laughed again when the TA who graded it didn’t give me points for the question which I knew I answered inefficiently, though I wrote next to my answer, “I know this is, like, the least efficient way of solving this, but I am so tired please cut me some slack.” Worth the loss of points, in my opinion. At least it gives the graders something to laugh about through the endless hours of mindless marking? In my English midterm last semester, I just rewrote all the questions I didn’t know the answer to, to things that I could actually answer, like, I’d change “Name three German Romantic poets who influenced…” by crossing out “German” and writing in “English,” then writing the answer to the new question I created.

Found myself “pleasantly enjoying” this lecture, but still finding “complete lack of enthusiasm” in knowing I’d have to finally force myself back into the practice rooms to “tickle the ivories” after not touching them for three days as a result of debilitating cold. Picturing Sylvester Stallone saying “this… is not gonna be fun” in his usual gruff delivery, then grimacing slightly, and standing up from previously seated position.

09:49: Thinking, “onto the practice rooms,” while walking to practice rooms. Weather feels “brisk,” like a Subaru commercial. Thoughts while walking: -Going to start referring to eating/drinking as “taking things to the face” -Would people really not wear ripped underwear? re: another survey question asked in class -Maybe I need to “get caffeinated” before practicing, need to update liveblog anyways -Dude vaping Juul-like device, remembering that Juuls are now officially shipping in Canada, except Quebec -Cannabis is going legal in one day here, seems so surreal

Making decision to stop at Tim Hortons on the way to “take a large coffee to the face.”

10:04: Holy crap the line at Tims is almost “out the door,” there’s no way I’m gonna wait for a coffee, heading to Java U instead.

10:10: Mission successful. Large light roast coffee in hand, chosen over dark because of its higher caffeine content. Chose maple milk to put in for the first time ever, feeling “cheery” and “full of grins.” Gonna drink it while updating liveblog in music library, then practice.

10:46: Hey, what’s up, I’m just finishing up today’s first liveblog update!! Now I’m going to post it!! Then I’m going to walk to the practice rooms and practice for a few hours!! Today is going well, I hope your day is going well too! Wow!! I’m thinking the word “wow” a lot today! Wow!!! Here’s some more Kero Kero Bonito lyrics to brighten up your day if it’s going bad, or make it even brighter if it’s going well!! I love you! 

I got so much time today I got hopes and dreams and plans all yet to be made So look out the way 'Cos I'm coming through now I got something to do And I'll try As I might To keep up with the light 'Til I'm into bed for the night

I got so much more to say I got books and tapes and canvas bearing the weight But they're not arranged 'Cos it takes too long and I'm still moving on But I don't Even know Where I should be trying to go So I guess I'll follow my nose

And I can't help but think about If the sun ever stays down Will I notice or will I Just be sitting around Ticking a list off Rueing what I said wrong But dawn still greets my windowpanes And as long as I shall Wake up in the morning I got plans

I got so much time today I got so much time today I got so much time today I got so much time

13:40: Okay, so, a good almost-three-hour session. My hands felt like mush for the first hour-and-a-half, which was expected, but after going through the Beethoven and part of the Alkan, they felt strangely not as bad as I thought they would. Feel like I was “hyper-focused” for the first ⅔ of the session, and then only “sort-of focused” for the final third, but it was overall really nice.

Feeling skeptical at how smoothly today is going… Where’s the catch? What’s going on? Something bad is brewing on the horizon, isn’t it… Oh heavens look, it’s me thinking pessimistically again, I’m really not a pessimistic person, why do I keep doing this. Have to “reel in” this sort of behaviour. Today is going well and I’m putting in effort towards having a productive day, and sometimes that effort aligns with chance events that cumulate to a smooth, sometimes even “good” day, that’s all, right?

Gonna “call it” on this session, feeling energy/focus storage for piano “depleted.” Feeling semi-proud of myself for making it to nearly three hours without feeling “depleted” earlier, usually my sessions are most productive capped at two hours, and then if I try to continue I end up wasting more time than I actually use practicing. Might return to the practice room again today before going home, I really should be doing at the very least four hours, but maybe I’ll keep today at three hours, just because starting up again after a few days of not practicing and immediately jumping back to four-plus hours might be a little hard on the tendons/joints?? Is that just me making excuses for myself? I’ll see how I feel after my next class, I guess.

Walking to McLennan now to study a bit, see ya soon.

13:54: At workstation in Cybertheque. Weird “phasing” effect going on in my head right now, like, sounds are slightly off-balance? Not that they’re louder in one ear than the other, like, sounds sound dizzy to me, right now, if that makes any sense… I’m not describing this well…

Stomach in a bit of pain, a result of having coffee on an empty stomach and not eating anything yet today. Maybe I’ll get something cheap before class starts at 17h. Yeah, I think that would be the best option… Don’t think I’ll “last” til the end of class if I don’t. Do I go get food now, and then try and study?? That seems like a waste of time going back-and-forth so much, maybe I’ll try to “tough it out.” Yeah, okay, that seems the best option, gonna start studying now, wish me luck.

14:27: Oh no, oh no, seems impossible to “scrounge up” the motivation needed to study effectively, I’m just reading more on Ghost right now, this is bad, this is bad, don’t do this to yourself. Maybe this can be counted as the “study break” between practicing and studying?? Maybe I just won’t be able to get any studying done during this little chunk of time? I’m fine with that, I’m fine with that, I think… Still have time after class ends at 17:30 to study, can always study at home, “in the comfort” of my “tiny abode.” Shoot shoot shoot why didn’t I bring Knausgaard with me, now I don’t even have any reading material. Oh! Oh! I can read Megan’s Liveblog from my phone!! Yes yes okay, perhaps I’ll just “nip on out” for some food, then, and then head directly to class? That might work…