#yknow the more i think about it the more obvious it becomes to me that this is very much likely something thats been mentioned and talked-

[bogos-bint3d]

*rocking back and forth nervously* ok.......... okkkk.........,.........

[skrunksthatwunk]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 龍が如く | Ryuu ga Gotoku | Yakuza (Video Games) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Majima Goro & Sagawa Tsukasa Characters: Majima Goro, Sagawa Tsukasa Additional Tags: Genderfluid Majima Goro, Mentioned Saejima Taiga, he's not here though, majima gets dress coded (devastating), Solitary Confinement, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, yeah this one's not pretty sorry guys, Homophobia, Mental Breakdown, thinking about sagawa's sparrow thinking about sagawa's sparrow thinking about sagawa's sparrow th, featuring an oc: majima's shitty unnamed landlord, Abuse, look i don't know how to classify it in particular but it's. Not Good. You Know How It Is With Them, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, in a very traditional sense like. the warnings are no joke, Hurt/Comfort, In The Worst Way Possible, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, ooh yeah forgot those tags exist. need those for sure, THE PLOT CAN ALSO BE DESCRIBED AS FIVE NIGHTS AT MAJIMA'S PLUS BONUS NIGHTS, also majima accidentally almost gives himself a gay earring situation, which. in hindsight is not explained well, basically around that time gay men used to wear an earring on their right ear, to signal that they were gay. majima's is on his left he's just scared, and sagawa is either messing with him or an old fart who doesn't know hip gay things, take your pick, Relationship Study, Canon-Typical Violence

Summary:

"Woaahh, hold up there, Tiger. What's going on here?" Sagawa said. "What?" Sagawa reached for his face. Majima tensed up as Sagawa's hand brushed the taut cord of his eyepatch. He couldn't tell what he was doing until his hot, sweaty fingers pinched his earlobe. "You pierce this yourself?" "Yeah." "God, it looks awful."

or, in short, majima gets dress coded and sent to gay baby jail

HEY I UH. I MADE A FIC IF YOU GUYS WANNA READ IT. NO PRESSURE OBVIOUSLY

[thegnomelord]

Ok, so I loved your dragon reader/ dragon price fic. The detailed courting rituals got me thinking about how different members of TF 141 react to a s/o who has different courting rituals than them.

The one rolling around in my mind rn is Gaz (which I'm pretty sure is a harpy or bird hybrid of some kind) with a dragon reader.

So Gaz tries to court reader through a more fancy version of pebbling. But, instead of giving cool rocks and sticks, it's gemstones and weapons. Yknow, expensive/fancy things that Gaz thinks the reader might want to add to his hoard.

Btw do you have an anon list? If so, is 👑 anon available?

I don't have an anon list yet but you're welcome to be 👑anon!

It's cool to think how they'd try to court you. I hc that werewolves, and Johnny by extension, are really straightforward. Like sitting way too close, hands roaming over your body, trying to lick into your mouth and going "Hey wanna make more of us?"

Ghost, the poor thing, is completely fucked bc he was human before becoming a wraith, how the Hell is he supposed to know? Que him going through Wikipedia articles and watching documentaries of your species courting and mating (having to rub one out imaging you and him in that position ofc) and just stumbling through the whole courting thing.

CW:NSFW

But Gaz? Oooh Gaz—

Safe to say he's fallen ass over tits for you.

It's the way you take care of them, of him, of the monstrous strength used to defend them turning velvet soft when Gaz needs emotional support that has his harpy hindmind demanding to lock you down before a competitor snatches you away.

Only problem — you're not a harpy. And Gaz has no idea how courtship works, as when he asks Price about it (under the guise of just being curious) the old fart just gives him an amused look and tells him to figure it out.

Though harpies and dragons are two different species, he figures there must be some similarities, so he figures to listen to the old fairy tales about your kind and looks for the shiniest thing he can find, because Harpies court by giving gifts and dragons like to hoard and both of them like shiny stuff right?

You're confused like Hell when one day you wake up to find a silver ring with a shiny amethyst sitting on your windowsill. You know for a fact it's not yours as the instinct to catalogue every item in your hoard is as old as the draconic blood running through your veins and you'd remember if you had it.

When you make sure it's not stolen and no owner can be found, (because who'd wear that type of ring in a military base?) you decide to keep it, failing to notice how the way Gaz's pupils get bigger when you put the ring in your pocket.

It is a nice ring, the shine of the gemstone tickling your brain in a pleasant way. The military doesn't allow dragons to have large hoards, most of the items you've gathered over the decades and centuries safely hidden in vaults, but it feels good to have a small hoard in your den.

You expect this to be a one off event. But. No. Every few weeks you find a new thing on your windowsill, from gems to guns to additions to weapons you've expressed you'd like to get. Each new thing leaves you scratching your head, annoyance growing bit by bit as there's never enough scent on the items to track the culprit down and it's not like you can turn the base upside down looking for them (again).

You're unsure how to feel; it's obvious someone is trying to court you, but it definitely can't be Price because no dragon would go about it like this. But you have to admit it's nice to be desired, regardless how odd the method may be.

Then you notice how Gaz has started acting. . . different. He'll ruffle his feathers and flutter his wings more than usual when you two are alone, purposely stretch more often to make your eyes naturally draw to him, sticking to your side as he talks about everything and anything under the sun.

You're also not a fool. You can figure out it's a harpy's way of trying to show off, but without any open hostility you can only assume he's trying to court you. And you let him, you like his presence and the sound of his voice, the way he gives you a lopsided smile and the way his dark feathers shine like onyx gems when the light hits them juuust right and the way he flushes and stutters when your tail wraps around his leg.

Then one late evening when you're doing paperwork you catch sight of something behind your window in the corner of your eye. Like a flash you're opening the window, your clawed hand gripping Gaz's hand before he can scatter.

Gaz's wings spread out wide, a surprised squawk leaving him as he looks into your slitted eyes. "Uh-, I, eh- Hi?" He says, gulping, his newest gift, a very shiny ruby, held in his hand. But what draws your eye are his dark feathers.

You let out an amused snort, "Hello." You purr, leaning in so your faces are close, enjoying the way he flushes from the proximity. "So you're the little thief that's been visiting me."

Gaz's feather puff up to make his silhouette twice as big, his eyes narrowing, a hurt and angry look spreading across his features. "I'm no thief!" He says, insulted that you'd suggest he can't get you gifts on his own. "I-"

"You are," You hum, reaching out your other hand to hold his jaw, and even with his anger he feels his mind croon at how softly you touch him. "You're in the process of stealing my heart."

"Oh." Is the most intelligent thing he can come up with, his pupils blowing wide like he'd just seen the shiniest thing in his life. "Oh."

"Yes," You shrug and pull your hand back to yank one of your scales out of your shoulder, giving it to him as you take the ruby. "Keep this safe for me, yeah?" You hum and then you let him go, going back to your work while he's left dumbstruck, clutching the scale close to his chest.

When it finally settles in his head that you'd just given him a gift, that you'd reciprocated, and given him a shiny gift, oh he's treating that scale like it's the most precious thing in his world. He keeps it close to him, cooing to it in the privacy of his room, keeping it on his pillow so he can fall asleep with your scent in his nose.

He also doubles down on the gifts, but now he's very open about it, to the point you'll have him randomly come into your office to give you something shiny or another weapon, preening so prettily when you praise the thing he's brought back, nuzzling into your neck and fluffing up his feathers. His heart swoons when you show him the small hoard you've made with all the things he's brought you, and you end up spending the entire evening with him cuddled up to you, chirping happily.

"Hey, can I see that scale I gave you?" You ask after a couple of weeks, curious to see how he's treated it.

"Uh, sure." Gaz can swear his heart's beating like a war drum as he watches you inspect your scale, checking for scratches or cracks.

But you find none, it's still as shiny as the day you'd given it to him. Maybe even shinier.

You smile and before he can do anything you pull him close to you by a hand on his hip. "Very well done, little thief." You hum, kissing him. Gaz melts against you, not even your lips able to muffle the happy chirps and croons that escape his chest.

You spend the next few months getting familiar with each other's bodies, lazy evenings spent with your clawed hands preening his wings, Gaz steadily melting into the bed with every brush of your fingers. Kyle taking a few extra minutes in the morning to rub his face between your wing, chirping and crooning.

Harpy mating season comes around and you're caught off guard when you come to your room to find your covers and pillows and entire wardrobe on the ground, turned into a makeshift nest with a very naked, and very horny, Gaz sitting in the middle of it.

His eyes are hazy but he knows you're there the second your scent hits his nose, the most desperate sound you've ever heard leaving his lips, bruised from how hard he'd been biting them to reign his noises in, to keep them only for you.

"Mate-" Kyle whines, shuffles in the nest that has the pretty gems he'd gifted you strewn amongst the fabric, "-need you, please- I-"

One more needy sound is all it takes to have you tumbling naked into the nest in record time, deep guttural purrs answering his pleased coos. He presses flush against you, seeking out your mouth, whole body burning up and his thighs shaking, his cock rock hard.

"I got you, pretty thief." You rumble, pulling him into your lap, his wings spreading out and feathers puffing up, as if he needs to make himself look even more desirable. "What do you need Kyle?"

"Need you," Kyle whines, pawing at your own erection, desperate fingers shaking as he strokes you, "Please- hurts, I need- mate."

You shush him with sweet kisses, your hand sliding down to very carefully stretch him open while avoiding injuring him with your claws, your mind purring at how willingly he opens up for you, wings and limbs shaking as he whimpers against your lips, his mind steadily leaking from his cock.

"You're alright," You calm him when you pull your fingers out, positioning him so your cock head rests against his entrance, not missing how Kyle preens at your strength. "Going to breed you right, gonna take care of you."

"Yes, yes, yes!" Kyle moans are loud as you steadily push your cock into him, his walls clamping down on every inch of your length. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank- mate." His claws dig into your shoulders, clutching you tight as you bottom out in him, his hole clenching you in sync with his ragged breathing.

"I'm here," You hum, barely able to think, "Just relax, let me take care of you." You say, feeling him relax into you, and with deep purrs and lots of praise you begin to fuck him, moving him like a fleshlight on your cock, letting him moan and groan and scream his heart out uncaring who hears it, your ancient blood singing at the thought of his noises being a testament to your abilities as a mate.

Then the tight heat and the scent and just Kyle has your mind forgetting how to think, your body moving on it's own to show Kyle he'd picked a good mate.

[irradiatedsnakes]

little billy is an existential threat to dialtown's very universe and i can prove it: a game theory

i dont trust this little beast.

prior to the roger dlc i didn't think a whole lot of him. he's fun, he's funny, the whole colossal billy bit is great. but i didn't consider him much, his greater role in the story. his whole fabron-virus deal in the roger good route got me to reconsider..basically everything about him, including stuff on the extras pages & his appearances in mingling scenes in ch3.

i think that little billy is aware of dialtown's universe/reality on a level most characters aren't, more similar to gingi and god. colossal billy, on some level, i believe is absolutely real, and has connections to the nothing beyond the edges of dt's reality. a few points, ordered from (imo) least to most substantiated:

1. billy is one of few characters that ever break the fourth wall

dialtown has a lot of fourth wall breaks. gingi, in some fashion, is aware of the various branching routes the game can take, it references other routes frequently, they're aware of the merged-ch3-timeline being weird in some sense. they're responsible for the vast majority of fourth wall breaks in the game. god, of course, does, like his UI-hijack during one of the mingling scenes. other than those two, fourth wall breaks are few and far between (i think norm does one?), so i think it's significant that billy does it at least twice.

firstly is the mingling scene where he keeps interrupting mingus from having the last word in, specifically referencing the screen fading to black:

secondly, and i think more notably (since mingus does kind of do it herself there), is in the roger route, in the ending where you swallow the usb stick and shit yourself and die. in addition to all the other ominous bullshit, there's this line:

which, yeah, end card. not much else to say there.

admittedly, i do think this is the weakest point here on its own- as mentioned before, mingus and norm do break the fourth wall on their own at some point in time, i believe once each. that being said, i do think it helps build a case for billy's awareness of dialtown's reality as we move forward to the next points, and is very relevant in the context of the rest of billy's everything.

2. god is afraid of little billy (and given who else god is afraid of, that worries me)

okay, so, god. fascinating guy. i think some of the most interesting stuff about him is what unsettles him. according to god, time in dialtown's universe works like a straight line- rather than how we might usually conceptualize the branching paths of time (or, say, branching routes in a visual novel) like a tree, time in DT is a straight line. a timeline begins, happens, ends, and another begins, happens with minute differences, and ends, so on.

god isn't omniscient, he's just a guy whose been around for an unfathomable amount of time, experiencing timeline after timeline, start to finish. he knows things that are about to happen (mingling gravel bit) because he's seen so much shit that basically everything becomes predictable.

ergo, the things that scare god are things that he can't predict, things that he doesn't understand. case in point, he finds gingi's existence as being exclusive to dt's timeline unsettling:

what else is god scared of? well, callum crown, of course.

whatever callum did to enact the dialup is something that messed with the very fabric of reality- so much so that god himself is beholden to the objecthead rule- and that "scare[s him] shitless".

yknow who else god is scared shitless of?

yeah.

3. billy is directly linked to enc0unter, plus the whole event in which he Hacked An Entire Man

firstoff, just to go over the enc0unter connections here.

most obvious is the eyes and teeth motif, and the images in the background (seen on the monitors in fabron's room and omair's shop) being THE enc0unter image, which has been said to be representative of weak spots in dialtown's (crumbling) reality. keep this passage in mind for later.

worth noting, fabron's font while possessed is special elite- the only other time in the game this font is used is in enc0unter's scene. in addition to the literal eyes and teeth images being used, the motif is reinforced in fabron's dialogue, further drawing a connection between colossal billy and enc0unter:

("many eyes always watching", notably, also being something scrawled on the side of norm's shack, presumably by norm, alongside the warning about not drinking the water (on account of the lead). "many eyes always gazing" is also one of the possible menu quotes that can appear.)

keep the big blink line in mind for later.

i think the severity of what billy was able to do with his little virus is also notable. like, and i don't think i can put enough emphasis on this, little billy hacked a man. he hijacked a human person's entire shit. he made images appear on broken monitors that weren't plugged in. he made a virus so powerful it instantly spread to every computer in town. it fucked up the radio, it fucked up the phone lines. you shouldn't just be able to do that- billy has a frightening amount of power.

3.5. a couple other scattered observations

3.5a in dietown, little billy immediately goes full eldritch. additionally, regular-timeline billy appears to be in some way aware of this, as his codename in the ransomware is xXBelothXx, little bel'oth being his name in dietown. worth noting dietown tracks are also used for the ransomware scenes.

3.5b color symbolism is extremely important in dialtown, chief among that being the use of purple (and green, but especially purple). all of the members of the mingling (save for god) have some element of purple in their designs- for most of them, that's clothing: stabby and shooty and abel all have their suits, bunny has his shirt, while theoroar has his bandana. billy's head is purple- the only one whose purple element is PART of them and not just something they're wearing. given the significance of purple in the rest of the game (glados voice) i just thought that was interesting

4. pulling it all together

so, what does this all mean?

well, dialtown's reality is in trouble. the constitution of dt's universe has been in trouble for a long time- hell, the wormhole existed even before the dialup. but i think it's safe to say that whatever fundamental rule of reality callum grabbed and fucked around with to enact the dialup in the first place has had knock-on effects for the stability of the timeline (remember that whole thing about how timelines have definitive starts and ends? yeah).

i believe billy is a symptom of this breakdown. when fabron is possessed he says "the big blink" is coming.. now, i don't know if billy is truly something From Beyond or if he's just some shithead kid who somehow got a glimpse into things people shouldn't see (i favor the latter, personally), but the way i see it.. i think what little billy calls colossal billy, is, or is closely related in some fashion to, enc0unter.

enc0unter is nothing. it's beyond the edge of the universe, all the Somethings, it's the opposite of things existing.

which, imo, is why it's represented by eyes, teeth, and faces.

when the dialup happened, eyes, teeth, faces- these things ceased to exist. they were deleted from reality, they became nothing, so that's why the nothing IS the eyes and teeth of everyone on earth, why it's eyes and teeth that appear where reality wears thin and begins to crack.

i don't know exactly what enc0unter is Doing, or what the culminating event, the bomb-under-the-table exploding, the big blink is going to actually look like. but i don't think it'll be good, and i think that billy is very interested in that eventuality.

now, billy's own personal motivations? pure malarkey. i don't think he's part of some big plan, or anything like that- his favorite activity is tormenting the cashier at the local cinema, and his big scary hackerman deal was intentionally foiled by just removing a usb stick from a computer. he sets the town on fire just for fun. little billy just wants to see the world burn for a laff, and i fear that when "the big blink" does come, that might be exactly what he gets.

thanks for reading. bozo

[ponyboyssophie]

Love iconography in Sorry We're Closed (2024)

As the Angel of Love in this game is represented by a horse-chimera, there was a lot of care put into using horses to symbolize love & relationships. There's the obvious theme of Dream Eater plastering his realm with paintings, statues, and artifacts about Chamuel and other random places like the crypt using his visage too, but I'm mostly gonna talk about something a bit more abstract.

Sorry We're Closed uses hearts as its primary symbolism for love; but it also uses a less mainstream visual motif to show us how it matters to the characters. Horse. :)

To start with, each episode of Dying Petals starts out with a shot of a horse painting, before zooming out to bring in the characters.

Shots of the characters talking will usually be accompanied by one or two paintings. This is where we first see horses associated with relationships.

[There are TWO SEPERATE paintings behind them, yknow, just in case you don't notice the first.]

You might know that the story represents Michelle's love life, (quite literally as Epiphany is played by her actual ex; the story mimics their conflict and break up) but this room also becomes the place where Michelle solidifies her destiny, whether she chooses new love, her ex, or something else.

Also, notice how the painting behind Canary is much bigger than the one behind Epiphany. This is still true when accounting for perspective.

Although the biggest (and brightest) horse painting is off-screen.

You can see it behind Chamuel on the final day, next to his door that allows you to choose love.

The Carousel.

In the scene where we watch the duchess execute a woman for lying about her 'love' for the Duchess to save her life, there is a carousel-style horse in the background.

This is, I believe, the first time we see this horse carousel, and it appears with a bleeding heart. An empty spot where there used to be something. Love is not here.

The Duchesses room.

On the outside, you see paintings of Dream Eater and Chamuel.

I used to think a lot of the paintings around the game were random - like maybe they were just filler. There's a lot of repetition of the same images over and over again, but I've come to understand it is its own visual language.

The Duchess seems to place a big focus on these two around the hotel - who are "quite infamous" in the supernatural community. There's the obvious connection to taboo love here, but I think it's also an example of a demon being able to resist the change of love. Which might explain the hierarchy here of Dream Eater being on the top/larger. More value is placed on Dream Eater, who holds onto the past.

[Spoilers for inside the Duchesses room]

Straight off the bat, you start to notice a trend in this room. This is where I started picking up on the meanings behind certain pieces and noticing the emphasis on horses throughout the game, especially in regards to the Duchess. It might feel like maybe they just like horses - having a picture book with horses or framed paintings all over their room seems like more of an interest, but it continues to entwine them in the language of love.

Also - I won't go into this too deeply but the repetitive paintings of the Duchess, especially the close ups of their eye/features, is a parallel to the fractured, disjointed images of Chamuels face that represent his 'mortalisation' and get more and more frequent (and also, violent) the further he gets into his struggle with love. It implies to me that the Duchess has already begun this process, or at least reflects how they've been fractured by love as well.

Ironically, the picture of the lead singer of Michelle's favourite band, who they brought to the hotel to make her feel more at home is right next to it. It's not mentioned if the Duchess was already a fan, or if they checked it out because of Michelle/how much they love her outfit (fish fight shirt included!) :)

Here we see the horse with the bleeding heart again.

Over their clean, neat bed which is kind of a mix between elegant hotel opulence and rusty torture chamber imagery (the case on the left side of the bed..... if you know you know). Their room itself is a beautiful illusion that seeks to cover up for their one weakness, but it still shows through.

You also find some assorted Duchess-themed artifacts.

Notably, the missing heart fragment. T.A.D says this is "said to be what remains of the Duchesses heart after the incident."

(There's also the presence of Dying Petals in the Duchesses room, but that's a topic for another post.)

I also find it interesting that they has these on their shelf. A visual reference to Dream Eater fighting himself, maybe?

[Also, Bonus A La Mode games reference. Or, the Duchesses version of the warriors that I've just now realised is a reference to the devs logo]

Hotel Ascent is when things start to get more... surreal.

There's a repeated trial throughout this area where, to pass to the next room, you have to charge your heartbreaker before shooting the heart of the horse statue. The first instance of this is also accompanied by a literal anatomical heart you have to shoot to charge it up.

Usually, it's aggressively defended by giant roller-spikes and/or enemy hordes. The Duchess doesn't want you to break past their barriers and into their heart, that's for sure.

This is the opening scene for the final boss fight.

The statues stay in the background for the whole fight. Notice how these ones no longer have arrows jutting from their chests.

(We also see these weird abstract horses from the start of hotel ascent again - even they have a true form which can only be seen with the third eye.)

Other uses in the game.

I think Dream Eater's Palace would take up wayy too much, so I'll skip it. It's already something that is canonically brought to attention in-game so Iif you've played it of course you'll already know how obsessed this guy is with, uh, horses, and what that says about him. :)

There is also a picture of Dream Eater (a.k.a "a forlorn being") in the church where Benedict and Robyn (the OTHER angel/demon relationship) spend most of their time together. You can imagine it's not on the side Beloved chooses to hang around haha.

Oakley doesn't have anything in his diner as far as I know, but Darrel does have two paintings of the earlier picture of Duchess riding a horse in his bar.

He has other Duchess paintings also, likely because they're his boss, but this feels very in-place in the bar for a reason.

It does mean that all three relationships in the game have some connection to Dream Eater/Chamuel imagery. Some of it may be coincidence, but I thought I'd mention this anyway as it solidifies the connection to love.

Okay fine I'll talk about the crypt.

The examples/relationships I've used here are romantic in nature, but it's worth noting there are excessive amount of Chamuel statues in the crypt as well. A crypt that belonged to a broken family, that has mostly covered up it's traces of said family after Gabriella took revenge on her parents. Traces of angels are systematically replaced with demonic imagery, as though Gabriella was insulted by the appearance of love being featured so heavily throughout her families tomb. You might see love in the past (using your third eye), but it's disappeared/fractured.

So what's up with the horses?

I already kind of mentioned this at the start, but in this fictional world the concept of love and horses are pretty much inherently linked through Chamuel, so I appreciate how they leaned into this by making it sort of a cultural concept of love.

Horses can be seen as a symbol of love historically, but generally the cultural zeitgeist uses something a bit more fragile and delicate, like doves or rabbits.

It reminds me of Disco Elysium, where love is understood through the lungs rather than the heart due to it's association with Dolores Dei; a pseudo-religious symbol who was just a deified historical figure. Changing what love 'looks' like in a way that serves the story. It shows how well-intergrated Dream Eater and Chamuel are in the world-building and story. They represent the fear of change, and the consequent leap of faith you need to embrace that change. Something the Duchess needs.

Why not use horses? It still feels childlike and nostalgic. They're strong, lively creatures who still exist as prey animals to be hunted - the Duchess doesn't want to be hunted. They want to hunt.

And, life didn't really go that way for them.

By the way I lied earlier, not every episode of Dying Petals has a horse painting. In the Duchess route, during the final episode when Epiphany and Canary break up, they are cramped into the only corner of the room that doesn't have horses. I guess Michelle really did move on from Leslie. :)

[askthefamous8]

Even if I haven't been very active lately, 9 years is still pretty significant- happy birthday to the blog!

So like Percy up there I'm gonna do so dome reflecting. This blog's where I've often done that for some reason, but here's the tl'dr for blog related stuff.

• I would like to keep drawing stuff but feeling generally unsure in myself, and I'm wondering if all the years of fandom harrassment have caught up with me • I have one big project in mind, I've been dipping my toe into what I'd need to do it. No spoilers but it was one of the first things I played around with this series, so do with that what you will • If I can keep myself drawing, I want to use more of the original source material since I'm struggling with original ideas. So stuff like redraws, hOpEfULlY even animatics, just like what originally got me so into trains yknow? Because that's fun and sparks joy. And that always goes down a treat with you guys so bonus • As always I appreciate you guys not coming after me for being so inconsistent

The rest of this is me doing what Percy's doing in the drawing and reflecting, as there is indeed much 2 think about. It's also a little sad and venty so, there's your warning there.

.

Ok so obviously a busy year, we moved into our new house that we actually own, I spent most of the year planning our wedding, and then got married. Big stuff. Also! I came off antidepressants in the summer. I've been on them for...basically as long as this blog, 6 months after I started it I think. Which also means I'd been on antidepressants my entire adult life. Feels like a big deal and I guess I'm still adjusting.

Another big thing, but sad, is that my dog died about two weeks ago. If you follow me on twitter you'll have seen her but she did make an appearance here a few Halloweens ago

I got her when she was 13 and had her 8 years after that. So that's been difficult. Unrelated to that (probably), but I just feel...really mediocre. And before you point out the obvious, this has been present even before I came off antidepressants. But yeah just... mediocrity. In myself as a person, how I look, what I draw, my whole life really (barring my marriage thankfully). What have I achieved? I'm 26, I'm not working, I don't feel well, my art isn't good (I don't think so anyway- like yeah it's technically fine I guess but it's not, and has never been, very stand-out or impressive). And lately art doesn't bring me the same joy it once did, and I'm wondering if all the years of harrassment from this fandom (mostly the twitter side, tumblr's been pretty good to me) has finally caught up with me and put me off the whole thing. Or worse, that I just don't have as much of an interest in it anymore. I don't think I'll ever be like "ok yep I'm officially done with this blog" because I'm so stubborn but idk. I want to make things and be creative, I want to make more train art, but it doesn't feel the same. I don't know what's wrong. What do you listen to? What you want vs what you feel? I still enjoy train stuff, I love going to Awdry Ex every year. It's been like this for awhile. It's not even like I have a strong feeling of what I'd rather be doing as far as careers go. And even if I did, oh yeah I'm sure my two degrees in animation will be very relevant in another field (sarcasm). I feel adrift. My sails are open but there is just no wind. Planning my wedding gave me something to do and work on and just, feel useful but now that that's over I feel lost again. Losing my dog, who had become the center of my life because of how vulnerable she had become, hasn't helped.

On the more creative side of things, I also don't really know what to do with this blog's story either. The show's ended as far as most people are concerned, and I kiiinda wrote myself into a corner because once Thomas turns 18 he's going to leave for university, and that sets off this whole arc with James but basically the problem is it involves characters leaving and for some reason that feels like a no-no here. Don't get me started on the timeline lol. But Thomas works on a railway on Sodor, that's how it has to be...right? I guess I'm sort of at a crossroads of, ok do I want this to be close to the source material, and thus easily digestible to newcombers? Or do I want to make it more and more my thing and distanced from the source material? I doubt there's many new people coming since the series ended. And even then, there's a lot more humanization artists around now than when I started, so it's not like I'm filling a niche anymore. Just to be clear it's fine and also good that there's more humanization artists, variety is good, I just don't feel as "needed" anymore (which is 100% in my head and not an actual role that belongs to me or something). I started this blog when I was 17, so my interests and what I relate to have changed obviously. The character designs certainly have. It's never followed a super rigid story plan, but the core of it has always been the central cast doing things on Sodor. I however have always had a scene/project/animatic/whatEver in mind for when this 'series' would '''officially''' ''''end''''. But then what comes after that? I've always tried to run this blog like they are Real People that You interact with. But in real life there is no ending to the story, there's always more stuff to come. You get married, and it's wonderful, and then life goes on. The credits never roll. So maybe that's what I'm having trouble coping with...the progression of time. Ah, my old nemesis. I've always had trouble with letting go of things. There's nothing to say that I couldn't still draw stuff after the series "ends". I guess any story after Thomas leaves could be like... a sequel series or a spin off or something. Spin-off of a spin-off. Famous 8 All Grown Up. Famous 8 Qurter Life Crisis. Who knows. I certainly don't.

I've also been really into an original project unrelated to this but those don't get as much attention and while I'd like to do something with it one day, I don't feel very confident in being able to make that happen right now. But you know... as far my as art not being super spectacular goes... I think my individual talent has always been is my ideas, like the writing side of things. And then brought to life with my art, which normally isn't anything to write home about but is good enough to convey the idea and be not-awful to look at, lifts both of them beyond what they were individually. Maybe that's what I should focus on. Maybe that's wishful thinking.

So....idk. Idk what I'm doing but I'm trying to be gentle on myself and just let myself continue to drift, to heal from this heavy loss, and then in the New Year I'll try and pick myself up. Then there will be no more big once-in-a-lifetime events coming up, no more just-moved-into-a-house-and-oh-no-there's-a-bunch-of-things-that-need-attention-NOW scenarios, and no more big holidays for awhile. I guess we'll see.

If you read all of this I am so sorry but also thank you for reading my ramblings. And thank you for being around, whether that's been for a few months or for several years, but especially if it's been several years

[mothiir]

yknow what??? fuck it. im not even gonna turn on anon. IM NOT EVEN GONNA DO IT!! because at this point you'd clock my ass a nautical mile off for who it is just bc im gonna ask for exactly what you caught me for on anon LAST TIME.

SO,,,, haha,,,, heyyyy mothiiiiir,,,, pllllleeeasse more nasty ass rabbit/emp headcanonnns OR writing or anything,, you always cook and im one starving ass loser.

thank you ily and your writing once again ok ok ok BYEEE

cw: angst, not what you intended but this got me thinking about the emperor and then uh. we got this. not set in the little rabbit verse, which will soon become obvious. playing loose with the canon timelines because i don’t know exactly how the burning of monarchia went down.

—

—

Monarchia burns — and three days later, Guilliman and his sons make planet fall.

—

It takes a great deal to surprise a Primarch, and yet here Guilliman is, blinking at the charred rubble of your former capital, struggling to find words.

“Say that again,” he says, at length. You sit up from your prostrated position, lifting your head just enough to address his shins rather than the ground.

“There is no penance great enough for the crime we have committed against the Emperor and the Imperium,” you say, your voice soft, but ringing clear. “There is no punishment that we do not deserve for such blatant defiance of the Imperial Truth. I can state that we were misled — which is true — and that we were ignorant, but that is no excuse. All I can say is that when I discovered that my Lord Husband was acting in defiance of the Emperor’s wishes, I acted as swiftly as I could to remedy it.”

It makes even less sense the second time around. The once-glorious city is wreathed in flames; the sun blotted out by a miasma of smoke. The same story is repeated across the entire planet. A revolution almost overnight — temples torn down, idols cast into the sea, believers put to the sword. The few Word Bearers that remained had died at their posts; they had slaughtered thousands of their kinsman, but died all the same. Bears torn down by hounds.

“You did this,” he says. You shake your head minutely. Your hair — once a glorious braid almost to your waist, always ornamented with some fancy that Lorgar had gifted you — has been chopped into an unkempt bob around your shoulders. Guilliman vaguely remembers a tale amongst Lorgar’s adopted people: of a queen who had lost a great battle, and shorn her locks in penance.

“No my lord. I did nothing. My people acted against the rot in our ranks. They carved it out.”

“Millions have died.”

“It is no great loss that those who would espouse the evils of theology perish,” you say, your voice as flat and featureless as a windless sea. “All I ask is that those that remain…”

For a moment, emotion returns to your voice, colouring it.

“All I ask is that some of them be spared. Please.”

You lift your face for the first time since his arrival. Your lips are lined with blood, shadows hung beneath eyes sunk deep into their sockets. In the space of three days, you seem to have aged decades — from a fresh-faced woman in the bloom of youth, to a crone who has seen the ending of all that she loves.

—

The seas do not boil. The sky does not burn. Another battle is brought to a shuddering, decisive end as the Ultramarines join on the side of your rebels — no, you cannot think of them as such. They are not rebels; they are vindicated. They are fighting for the truth, for what is right and good. They are crusaders.

You — you are not a crusader. You are not sure what to call yourself. Lorgar called you a goddess; a title that always disquieted you, but you accepted it, for his eyes shone so when he looked at you, and he made love to you as though you were the only thing that mattered. Now, you have lost count of the number of men and women who have died for referring to you as such.

You are not a widow either. Your husband lives, though you do not know where he is. Once, Lorgar pressed his hand to your chest and felt the thrum of your heart against his palm and said that no matter where you went there was a golden cord that bound your heart to his; that no void nor fire could split asunder what was joined in love.

You dream that you wind a golden chain around your hands, pull it taut, and bite until your teeth chip, until your tongue bleeds, until it frays into dust on your lips.

—

When you meet the Emperor, you press your forehead to the cinder-warm flagstones that used to be a marketplace, and you wait for death. You know, in a distant dreamy sort of way, that you should be afraid, but you are not. You accepted your death what seems like a lifetime ago — in reality, it is less than four days since you gave the order to start burning the temples.

The irony of it all. People answered your call to arms, to not-so-holy war, because you are Lorgar’s bride, because you are the woman once called goddess. And what did you do with the power that he gave you? You ordered that his greatest works be destroyed.

But what else could you have done?

Colchis is your home. And in his arrogance — in his endless childish arrogance — Lorgar would have let it burn to ash rather than do as he had been bid. Did he truly believe his father a god? If so, why would he not obey his commandments as soon as they were given?

Thinking this way hurts you — not only because it stirs anger like a wounded animal in your breast, but because it throws into stark relief how Lorgar’s mind contained chasms and corners you never saw. How even though you gave yourself to him as completely as a woman can, he always kept parts of himself hidden from you — but you will not waste time delving into that labyrinth. His beliefs are inconsequential. Only the facts matter. Lorgar worshipped his father as a god. Lorgar was told to stop. Lorgar did not.

You visited the day of judgement upon Colchis before the Emperor got the chance, betting everything on a single desperate gesture. You do not regret it, though you will dream of the dying wails of your people until the end of your days. If you had not acted, all would have died. Now, maybe — just maybe — some may live.

“The girl acted in the best interests of her people,” the Emperor says, and it is only then that you realise precisely what was happening: he was rifling around in your head, subtly enough that you could not see the intrusion; mistaking his exploration for an ill-timed moment of navel-gazing. All at once, pain rushes into your knees and thighs, knife-like cramps. How long have you been kneeling there?

Then, inexplicably, a wash of frustration: girl, he calls you. Girl. You are staring down your third decade of life — nothing for one such as him, of course, but really.

Girl. You carved out your still-warm heart and laid it on a flaming altar and he refers to you as girl.

“Stand,” he says, and you obey, fighting the hysterical urge to snort with laughter — you’re exhausted, swooning, and starting to feel the after-effects of the universe’s most powerful psyker reading your thoughts. Blood drips down your chin. “I am satisfied with the efforts of your loyal Imperial citizens against the primitive cultists.”

“Thank you my lord,” you say, keeping your gaze fixed on the ground — thus missing entirely the swift, puzzled look Guilliman gives you, for ‘I am satisfied’ is more praise than the Emperor normally gives anyone.

(And perhaps it is just a trick of the light, or the wild shadows cast by the afterglow of battle, but Guilliman swears that just for a moment his father smiles.)

“Heracles,” says the Emperor, addressing one of the gigantic golden sentinels standing to attention beside him. “You will escort her aboard the Bucephalus. We will speak further when I have dealt with my son.”

The golden sentinel inclines her head, and you try your best to stay upright, your legs shaky as a newborn colt. You do not think of what the Emperor will do to Lorgar; you cannot.

“It goes without saying,” says the Emperor, almost as an afterthought. “But your marriage to him is annulled.”

Eight years. Your life; your heart; that golden cord. What love has joined together, none may tear asunder - except that is not true, was never true.

“Yes my lord,” you say.

[nightcolorz]

So you seem to be the Armand expert and I have a few questions!

So what are the clear differences between like the book and movie and show Armand like what facets of the characters remain and which facets changed?

Also which aspects of each interpretation do you like? (Like what show Armand difference do you like) and which aspects of book Armand do you wish they would include in a future season? (Hope I’m making sense!)

AHH TY!!! (Being called an Armand expert is my favorite thing lmao)

I assume when in comes to book vs show vs movie u are asking me to talk about the changes of the character that r less superficially obvious (so u don’t expect me to just list height and age and ethnicity differences and be done with it lol). But either way, to start out, book Armand is Ukrainian, 5’6, ginger, cherub like, was turned into a vampire at 17. Show Armand is Indian, 6’0, lean and muscular, turned into a vampire at 27. Movie Armand is Antonio banderas, lmao.

I think the change that most significantly alters the adaptations of Armand from book Armand is the age change. In the books Armand being turned into a vampire as a teenager is essential to everything about him, backstory and personality wise. To keep Armand the same while aging him up you have to do a lot of substitutions that justify why he is like that that don’t include “he has the mind of a teenager”. What they do with show Armand is kind of like, imagine if there was an adaptation where the writers wanted Claudia to have a similar core conflict as she did in the books but she was aged up to be turned into a vampire when she was an adult. How do u keep the essence of the tragedy that way?? And the what the show does is, it justifies Armand being 27 by in some ways reducing his maturity and prolonging his trauma so that a similar affect to being mentally a child comes about anyway. Show Armand isnt physically a child like book Armand is, but bcus of his trauma he thinks like one. Instead of an adult trapped in the body and mind of a child he’s a child stumbling around in the body of an adult, which is rlly interesting. With this, I get the impression that book armand is more mature, self reliant, and well rounded than show Armand is. Which is funny considering he’s the 17 yr old lmaoo. But rlly, book Armand’s emotional problems and his stunted growth come from outside factors, it’s almost like a psychical disability in a way. Show Armand isnt psychically stunted, so to make the character conflict work he is just extra emotionally stunted. So he’s less functioning, in a weird way, then book Armand.

book Armand is also an angrier character then show Armand. Book Armand has mountains of betrayal and hurt and anger stored in his 5’6 ass body. He has that teen boy spite streak, yknow. Book Armand is very psychically violent and confrontational. The way he preforms violence is often very methodical, he’s the ripping wings of a butterfly type. Show Armand has some of these traits, but his violent tendencies are seemingly more controlled than book Armand, who is genuinely unhinged. Show Armand has a stronger reign over his behavior and acts out of anger less often. He is more so just looking to survive than to kill and maim. I think one of the most book Armand scenes in the show was definitely Armand torturing Daniel in episode 5. Violent torture coming from a strange place of childlike curiosity and betrayal is a big thing with Armand throughout the book series.

But despite the violence, book Armand is genuinely more mature then show Armand. He’s more confident, self reliant, and adult by the 80s than show Armand is in 2020. While show Armand has been living with Louis for 77 yrs and hasn’t experienced life ever when he’s not clinging to someone else, book Armand is able to rebuild himself and develop into a functioning independent person. I do think show Armand will become more and more like book Armand as the show progresses, however.

movie Armand is a different character entirely lmao. He’s basically just Armand in the first book taken out of context and played by antonio banderas. He has as much individual character as an audio book narrator lmao. His lack of backstory and older casting that alienates Armand from his core traits and motives makes it hard for me to see him as anything but a watered down extension of book Armand lol.

my favorite part of show Armand is Assad’s wet cat performance, lol. I love how they keep Armand’s book backstory broadly the same and flesh out and add parts that make it more interesting. And I love how they made Armand a person of color, that is probably my favorite change made in the show in general. I love that book Armand is a teenager, and it’s a shame that I’ll never see an adaptation exploring what that means for his character, but I’m happy with how amc is re inventing the material to be just as interesting. I hope they start to include the nuances of book Armand introduced in queen of the damned (aka: the autism). The revelation that Armand is oddly whimsical, earnestly curious, and fascinated with being a part of human society is what I think is essential to humanizing and endearing him to the audience.

ty for the ask!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for buying a lesbian pride to shoo a man away?

English is not my main language, apologies for mistakes.

I (19F cishet) have this friend (19M cishet) who ended up falling in love with me. We share the same class, we've known eachother for like 3 months.

He never outright confessed, but is constantly trying to go on dates with me, everytime I mention I want something he offers to buy it for me (even if expensive), leaves class whenever I leave even if he has no reason to. There are more signs and it's becoming a problem, because I don't like him that way back.

Nothing wrong with him, I'm just not feeling it. But because he hasn't confessed, I can't reject him. I have social anxiety, and rejecting someone is hard, even more if I don't get the confession, because a part of me will always think "what if he's not actually in love and his friendship manifests like that?" Which makes me feel like some egotistical asshole.

I've tried to send some signs I don't want anything, like always giving excuses (some of which are very obvious lies) to not hang out with outside college, but he keeps persisting. I'm not sure if he has hope or is just gullibe.

So I've thought of buying a lesbian pin and putting it in my bag. It wouldn't be out of place (have other pins) and I don't think anyone would doubt it (I've been mistaken for a lesbian b4 and I've never talked about anyone about whether I've had boyfriends).

He's not homophobic so I'm sure he'd stop trying after that. That way I avoid direct confrontation and won't have to deal with the awkwardness of rejecting a person (it would be hard to still be friends after yknow). After using the pin for a while I'd give it away to a friend who's actually lesbian.

My bestie advised me against it saying that not only I was being dishonest to him, but buying the pin would cause me problems in the long run.

So I'd like to hear what tumblr thinks as well as advice. Thanks for reading.

What are these acronyms?

[beneathsilverstars]

i do think it makes sense for isabeau and loop to kinda hate each other at first....

like loop tried to kill siffrin when he was already sick and weak. even though loop lost or decided not to go through with it, isabeau still witnessed the aftermath. and he's so protective!! yes loop is also siffrin but that makes it MORE of a betrayal. like if siffrin tried to kill mirabelle or smth yknow, it's fucked up for someone you love to attack someone you love. but maybe if it was actually siffrin he would find it easier to understand the weird situation and forgive them - but loop is a different person now, and they're a person who's mean to isa's siffrin!

and then on loop's side, you've obviously got the jealousy (isa likes siffrin, not me) and attempt to create distance (this isn't my isa, just a fake copy). but you've also got loop's feelings towards their own isa, which could be pretty complex at this point. kinda depends on your headcanons for exactly what loop's og timeline looked like, but. they could be mad that og!isa never tried to confess like new!isa did, was loop!sif not good enough? or they could be mad at themself for not realizing isa liked them in their own timeline even though he was being more obvious, like, i fucked it up worse than stardust did and this isa is just a constant reminder.

loop is just very upset about many things, and i think isa would make the next easiest target after siffrin, bc he's strong and kind - easier to lash out at than anxious mirabelle or young bonnie or intimidating odile. plus, since romance has more cultural precedence as a sharp dichotomy that leads to jealousy, it might be easier to channel their feelings through that simpler lens (isa will never cuddle me like that bc he's not dating me, and never will bc he already has sif) rather than the more nebulous concept of friendship jealousy with its wider range of possible conclusions (maybe mira would tell me secrets like that if i worked to become closer friends, but maybe she never would. oh god now i have to figure out what i actually want and what i'm willing to risk to reach for it). so it's easier for loop to focus on being mad about the more straightforward thing that they clearly can't have.

anyways what i'm saying is loop and isabeau keep glaring at each other over siffrin's head bc obviously they both sat next to him at the dinner table even though that regrettably means they're stuck being near each other.

[evillandscaper]

Okay guys I'm gonna do a breakdown of a few of my personal hcs for the main 3 of both s1 and s2!!! This includes little doodles of how I draw em differently !!!

Let's start off with Olive :3 there's a LOT under the cut.

Okay, so Olive's really active, right? To me, she's always been brains AND brawn. So since she's out in the sun all the time, she has a tan!

She's also lightly scarred in my version, if you look carefully. Those were gathered out on cases. I hc that she has a LOT of battered uniforms that Otto sews/embroids together. Also, if you squint, you can see my version has light eyebags. It's not that she doesn't sleep, she's just fed up with everyone.

Her hair is messier! She comes into work all prim and proper, but leaves it all disheveled. If it's a more tiring day, she'll run her hand through her hair. Also, red hair tie instead of black, just cause I find it cuter.

Miscellaneous hcs:

- Olive is half Quebecois, half Vietnamese

- Her last name is Tremblay

- Her full name is Olivia, she just shortens it

- She's terrible at English and can't write an essay to save her life, but is very good at analysis

- She eats green skittles first, and thinks the purple ones are awful

- For their halfiversary, Otto got her an olive branch shaped tie pin that she wears whenever she feels fancy

Next up: OTTO!!

The urge to change his hair was carnal in my soul. It's the Asian canon event. It happened to me, and it happened to him. Just to make things a little bit more fun for me to draw, I let his hair grow out a little bit... yknow the awkward stage after a bowl cut grows out a bit? Yeah, that.

Downturned eyes! Just so he and Olive can contrast a bit more. He's soft, she's sharp. They're silly!!!

I also make sure his mole is always at least partially visible. It's such a cool part of him, and I can't believe they cover it up most of the time in canon...

Miscellaneous hcs:

- He always has his blazer undone

- He's an excellent cook, but becomes immediately incompetent once someone is watching

- He's strangely good at identifying plants, and has a habit of picking edible ones and eating them straight from the ground

- He's good at English! Not the best, but better than Olive

- His last name is Garcia

- For their halfiversary, Olive got him a cast iron pan. He doesn't use it to cook, and instead swings it at anyone who makes fun of him or Olive

Next up: OSCAR!!!

I honestly don't have much for Oscar. I love him, but don't think about him that much.

He has messier hair and is just a LOT more disheveled in general!!! Close your eyes in the bullpen at any given moment and I bet you could hear something in the lab blowing up.

He's perpetually sweaty. Damp palm guy. Maybe that's why he keeps dropping gadgets...

Miscellaneous hcs:

- He's very bad at telling the time. On vacation, he'll never know what day of the week it is

- He knows how to play the otamatone surprisingly well. He can make them talk, and has conversations with one the way one would with a sock puppet

- He never knows what significant figures to use, so he ends up just ballparking everything and just not measuring in general. Maybe that's why everything in the lab is always blowing up

- He has a full denim outfit saved up for formal occasions. I'm talking denim hat, shirt, jacket, pants, shoes, all denim

- His last name is Collins

OLYMPIA NEXT!!!!

Okay so there's a lot of hearing me out you guys will need to do.

Anna Cathcart is half Chinese and half irish!!! Thus, I gave Olympia monolids to accentuate that factor. I also downturned her eyes and thinned her "lashes" to make it more obvious that I'm portraying her as wasian!

I gave her freckles and rounder glasses for the vibe. She's just a soft character to me, and I really want to make her look the part.

She's got messy hair!! It's based on the little half fringes she had in very early s2, which I thought were adorable. Her ponytail's also higher just so she looks different from Olive!!

Miscellaneous hcs:

- Olympia knows floriography, and will get very hurt if you give her the wrong flowers

- Conversely, she thinks she's being really rude if she puts a tansy on someone's desk to show that she's upset and will feel bad about it all day

- She always carries a little salamander named Josh in her pocket

- She can speak Yiddish

- She has a massive storage of those flippable sequin shirts and has one for every occasion

- She put her hair into a ponytail bc of Olive (this one is courtesy of @/starboundsingularities!!!!!), but the more she found herself, the higher up she tied it

- Her last name is Carter-Ng

Next up: Otis!!!

I draw him a little sickly for no particular reason. He's just silly like that.

He's not that different from canon tbh! I have his hair in an undercut because I think it looks cool on him (plus it's easier to draw), and he has eyebags because of ... the vibe.

He has a notch taken out of his ear due to an injury! From what, he won't say .

Miscellaneous hcs:

- He listens to royalty free music unironically

- He's going through his Alan Walker phase

- He has barely legible handwriting, but can draw surprisingly well

- He types like an old man, with the "............" and everything

- His last name is Otis. His full name is Otis Otis. This one is also courtesy of @/starboundsingularities I love it so much

Last but not least: OONA!!!!!

She's really going through it.

Fun fact: Olivia Presti has curly hair!!! That means that Oona should have curly (or at least wavy) hair... but she doesn't. Which is honestly so sad.

But I can always mitigate that, so I draw her hair wavy. I guess it's more extremely frazzled than wavy, but it's the same effect in the end.

EYEBAGS. She doesn't sleep after The Incident. She also has downturned eyes, just because she gives off that vibe.

Miscellaneous hcs:

- Oona is a regular customer of a local rage room

- She knows how to use a crossbow to a mildly terrifying extent

- If a flight of stairs has a railing, she'll slide down it. She almost always ends up falling

- Her last name is Silva

- She says she knows how to speak Polish, but she only knows a select few words and doesn't know what they mean. They're all curse words.

- Subsequently, Oona is banned from several Polish restaurants across the city

That's all!! They're all so silly :3

[ropebunnykant]

aw, man. i actually don't like conflict or negativity, and i hate that some ppl seem determined to pit the couples against each other in the first place, but i've seen/read two things in particular today that have got my hackles up (the poll being one) so i'm gonna say it: i don't think i've seen a single post that enthuses about kb at the expense of fs (maybe one anon but that's bout it), whereas the number of times scrolling through the tag i've seen ppl feel the need to crow about how much more invested they are in fs, how fs are carrying the show, etc. - yes, we all vibe with different characters/dynamics and that's fine - vibe away! nay, enthuse away! but, shocker, you can actually do that without invoking your lack of interest in kb (which, frankly, is your loss!). and, since i'm being blunt, there are, imo, two fairly obvious main reasons for the scale of the disparity (so beyond general variation in taste), and neither are particularly flattering for those in question, so i'm not gonna say them out loud! and that's because i recognise some things you can just keep to yourself, and that way everyone gets to have a good time! sorry to be bitchy, but when stuff like that is in the general tag it's hard to avoid, and even though i know i should just brush it off (cos everyone's entitled to their wrong opinions!), it gets me down nonetheless.

yeah, i'll never understand the need to pit them against each other for one reason or the other tbh. like you said, everyone has their own feelings and opinions and sometimes you're just gonna be drawn to one couple over the other, or one character over the other! i know i personally enjoy both fadelstyle and kantbison, and i adore all of our main four characters in their own ways. it's funny cause in the first few episodes, i was sort of flipping back and forth in terms of who i was more invested in, which was honestly a shock to me because while i have enjoyed joongdunk in the past, their shows and characters haven't compelled me in the same ways that firstkhao's have, so i went into thk figuring that they would be the ones to hold my attention the most. and while that did end up being the case, fadel and style have ALSO become beloved to me in their own ways and there was even a period in the beginning of the show where i was MORE invested in them! but kb have definitely captured my attention the most and again, it does just come down to personal taste - i find the layers of their story to be personally more compelling, and i find kant's character specifically to be incredibly fascinating because of the absolute lack of agency he really has in anything he does up until now.

but again, it's all a matter of personal taste. i recognize not everyone is going to view these characters the same way i do or have the same attachment, and that's okay! and it's very odd to me the way that a lot of people who prefer fs will choose to hate on kb or flaunt which one they prefer more. like if you post about the things you love, we'll get the message either way without you needing to bring down the other pair and make others feel bad for enjoying them. i don't think anyone before now has really questioned which couple i prefer, but the only time i ever actually acknowledged that (outside of this ask) was to say that i was SAD fs didn't interest me more because i do genuinely enjoy them as characters, but kb take up so much of my brain that i just can't focus on them as much.

and it's not to say if you wanna be a hater, you can't be a hater, like that's fine. but at the same time idk. people that DO like those things don't wanna see that when they're just trying to enjoy the tag of their fave show, yknow? but that's also why i at least prefer to keep to my dash instead of going into tags, cause i prefer keeping it to those i trust to keep it tasteful than those that will go into main tags and shout their hate for things from the rooftops sjdfsdkj

[trashbag-usa]

it feels like a lot of people have given up on fully connecting ISWM/Engie Mark to the wider lore (aka WKM) since IRL Mark straight up told us he wasn't Actor.

but not only am i a stubborn son of a bitch, but yknow what Mark also said?

"Engineer Mark isn't Actor Mark, but Actor Mark just might be Engineer Mark."

so hear me out, y'all.

preamble; if you saw this in a yt comment section, no you didn't. (that was also me i didnt steal this i prommy-)

i have this entirely insane theory about iswm that Engineer Mark is actually Damien, but only sometimes.

the most obvious places i can spot him is in the abandoned ship with the candles ("captain needs their sleep" and whatnot), as Old Mark (specifically in the empty diner), and most definitely as the "Mark" we see as part of the finale, the one who realizes he was wrong.

Actor is allergic to admitting fault so I Don't Believe That's Him.

this explains the thematic focus on sleep and rest in these scenes, things told to Damien and told to US by DARK several times.

("Don't remember" anyone?)

speaking of Dark, it explains why he isn't there. we DO however see the suspiciously Darkiplier-esqe Ms. Whitacre, which it isn't controversial to say atp is CLEARLY Celine.

that is, until the universe does its final kablooey and Dark as we know him, Damien attributes and all, comes to take the warp-crystal.

and besides, think about it.

given Actor's whole goal in all this, as laid out in the Damien Project, do you REALLY think he would write a story in which all problems arise from HIS OWN NEGLIGENCE? NO!

that would make him a villain, and all he ever wants is to be portrayed as the hero, literally for eternity!

but you know what i think he would do? set up a farce for the most troublesome of his "co-stars".

you, the viewer, want genuine choices? you want to have some real control over the story? some responsibility? FINE.

everyone looks to you, but under your leadership everything goes wrong, no matter what. you don't know why, but you're actively villinized and the harder you try to go back and fix things, achieve an "ending" on your own, the more people HATE you. the more the thought that maybe there IS something wrong with you specifically will stick in your mind as a possibility.

all these options, but none of them "right", creating MORE suffering instead of fixing it just to find that ever elusive end.

damien wants control of the narrative? he wants his old friend, you, the District Attorney to be released from his eternal story and given back to him? FINE.

here's his role back in earnest, given the possibility to engage and choose instead of intrude and twist like usual.

(yes, i do think Damien/Engineer is genuinely going down his own hopeless path while we find our own. in one of the descriptions leading to the final "Hold On/Let Go" confrontation, it says "you're not the only one making choices. you're not alone, you never were".)

he is allowed to fight for the safety of others, side by side with his closest companion, just as they did when they were alive.

BUT, the twist is Damien becomes a genuine villain. in his quest to do the altruistic thing and help at all cost, he is personally responsible for the death of LITERALLY EVERYONE EVER.

this is a personal hell for someone like Damien, as seen from WKM, all he ever seemed to want was help others and guide them towards peace.

for his actions/leadership to fail so unthinkably catastrophically, seems like the exact hell a bitter Actor would want to subject his "old friend" to for meddling. :/

Actor sets the stage for a theatrical punishment game. Mayor and Attorney, together again, taking an impossibly long stay in a personally crafted hell for the horrendous crime of ever even thinking they'd be worthy of ✨️staring roles✨️.

Actor turns you two against each other, and once Damien is brough down to the depths of despair and you have finally learned that true responsibility can lead to catastrophic, painful results, we're brought back to our proper places.

you go to a proper ending, with the Engineer role now being played by Actor once and for all, and Damien once again becomes part of Darkiplier, pocketing the warp-crystal to plant on the box in Heist.

Engineer isn't Actor, it's a role he plays when it suits him and his goals, to make his enemies suffer. he's willing to be Damien's understudy, if only for this purpose.

but at the end of the journey, Actor becomes Engineer to take in the fruits of his labor. ..and maybe invite you to a Heist while he's at it.

BUT HEY, THAT'S JUST A

very long winded """theory""" that is pretty much only insane fanfiction-

[idle-compy]

okie dokie!! here's my live reaction if anyone's interested

ep 1:

ooh a recap jwcc didn't have these

theyre little setup looks cozy comfy ngl

the roar competition 😭

DAMN KENJI ANGST STARTINF EARLY

BROUGHT UP CAMP CRETACEOUS

"has me feeling like my old man... like an 'ex-Kon'" KENJI

"isn't a little soon to be making jokes about ur deceased father" "nah"

kenji and this dang lettuce

risking it all for some potato chips omg

gotta give it to kenji he IS sneaky

THE YASAMMY PHOTO ❤️

these guys just been chatting for over a week but some screams during a little storm got the attention of the crew?? they're shit at they're jobs ok

omg that scene where ben and Darius are serving face for no reason

ik we've been seeing pics of it BUT THE WET HAIR ANIMATION MWAH MWAH

not rhem becoming ship hands

THE EGGGSSS

and the start of kenjis death wish GAAHHH

so much blood omg

THE GALLILIMUS SCENE NOOOO

mama... a majungasaurus behind you

darius saving that captains ass... and be tries to throw them overboard..

now darius with the death wish Jesus christ

oh this scene is animated super cool

not that mf just sliding in the crate

rip eggs pt 2

RIP KENJI PT 2 GODDAMNIT

Australian man coming in with the sense

kenji open up PLEASE

AND THERE SHE ISSSS

ep 2:

bens so desperate to charge that thing

oh so that's why he's keeping the secret that makes sense

poor ben tho imagine seeing that

yaz wondering if ANY of her friends are ok atp

ZAYNAAA

I thought the jacket removal would be later in the season hmm

ben is such a terrible secret keeper omg

not them ab to move these ppls pets

"baby bumpy ur in charge"

KENJI KISSIMF THE EGG

wait those stegos protect the farm I feel this setting up smth

i love this little gallilimus sm

geba was it??

SHE LEDT THE CASE EXPOSED AND OPEN??

kenji messing with darius they're such brothers

this woman's known yasammy for just a couple minutes and alr protecting them

BEN CLINVING THE TREE LIKE HED DO ON NUBLAR

and still no signal

yknow at least yaz is honest

camp fam doing what camp fam does best

"get out of here you off brand alligator!"

KENNI WITH THE DEATH WISHH

rising the stegosaures YES QUEENS

"but they're not our enemy any more than any animal is" preach

goddd bens so conflicted

you can see the pain in his face omggg you can tell he doesn't want to lie

ep 3:

BROOKLYNNNNNNN

RONNIE DID SAVE HERRR

THE HANDLER IN HER MEMORY

"as luck would have it ur my second amputation this week" ronnie omg

oh she's cryinggg 💔

FLASHBACKKKKKM

THE PARASAUROLOPHES oh she's visiting kenji

damn just driving thru em ok girl

VIDEO CALL MY BELOVED CHIDREN

NOOO DANIEL

at least we van see what they talked ab

yeah brooklynn call his ass out

ooohhh she's playing him isn't she

the lead up to the break up omg

SHE WAS TEXFINF HIS FATHER WHEN THEY BROKE UP

THE CASHHH

MEMORIES WITH DARIUS NLW

"something I need you to see" hmmmmmm

oh darius has fallen hard at this point

"if he loved you half as much as I do" DARIUS OH NO

oh he doesn't know how to save this GAAHH

"unless" DARIUS PLEASEEEEEEEEE SHES FRESH FROM A BREAK UP

yknow what idk if I'd be able to face her ahain after that either Jesus christ that was painful to watxh

OH THE WOODS SCENEEE

THE PERSON SHE WAS TALKING TO WAS HACKEDDDDDDD THIS WAS A SET UP

I mean I think we knew ir was a set up BUT NOT LILE THAT

THE RAPTORSSSSSSSSS

THE HANDLERRRR

the allosaurus saved her then got blamed for her death ??? 😭

I feel like ronnie being the other person she was talking to was so obvious but I'm glad it was confirmed

ahhhh the fake death confirmation

"I might have smth to take the edge off" ronnie pulled out alcohol I know it

TIME SKIPPP

"5 second rule"

honestly love that they're showing the process of her adapting to her new limb difference

ok she just changed her hair FAST bc wdym her funeral

nvm they must've held the funeral off bc her arm is healed

"maybe can we go see my friends and family?" What happened to that

"hey fam what's up?! notice anything different? it's the hair!" she's so unserious

EWWW ITS ONE OF THR EVIL DPW MEN

Can't remember if it's Jared or Jensen

"if they start causing problems I'll take care of em" talkimf ab her friends

so they weren't originally being hunted?? was that one theory ab ben snooping causing them to be right???

and in that moment brooklynn decided to remain dead didn't she

ooohhh she left ronnie

ep 4:

ooh a dln mission

OH FACE REVEAL

earnests little jiggy jig

MALTA

"it always lands in-" WHEREEEEE RONNIE WHERE

OOHHB BEN WATCHUNG WHAT THE DLN IS DOING

must've cauhjt up to the current timeline

also they must change clothes constantly throughout the season bc he's already in the grey tee

him debating messaging brooklynn omg

OH SHOOT HE SENT IT

Also brooklynns username??? Ester stone callback

ben debating leaving his friends to find brooklynn???

IS DARIUS CREATINF ANOTHER FIELD GUIDE

oooohhh sammy in the family feels I NEED TO KNOW WHAG BAPPENEEDDD

THE TRACKER

SOMETHJNF HAPPENINF TO THE DLN

"take em out to the field and wait for my signal" earnest are u ab to kill ppl

YAZ RUNNING FOR FUNSIES

Theyre definitely feeling like they were back on nublar

WHO JUST KIDNAPPED GEBA

KENJI WHAT IS THIS SONG

I missed u silly kenji tho

OH SLMEONE KNOCKED HIM OUT AND STOLE THE EGGS NO

brooklynn stays messing with ppl

YEAAHH HER SAVINF RHE CLEANINF CREW WE LOVE MORALS

she was talking to literally random ppl in the hang on scene??? after all my analyzing??

random man handled that well

HE CALLED HER SYD

UGLY CRYINF TO MSKE HIM UNCOMFORTABLE

"what did you want me to do?! fight rhem all off???? I only have one arm!!"

it is just bad thing after bad thjnf goodness

zayna joining them omggg they're 6 ahain

ooh brooklynn tricking his ass yes queen

oooh dubai

ep 5:

"well she needs to learn that sometimes life is a cruel mistress" "she's 14"

ben bringing up he and kenjis gyropshere accident omg

BROOKLYNMS ONLINE

not ben wrecking rhe boat

BENS USERNAME

bumpy_2015 CAN HE BE MORE OBVIOUS

Anyway BROOK GETTINF HIS MESSAGE???

"damning files" 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 /jjjj

ITS DADDYS GADDY

OOOHHH SHES PRETYY

is it the broker tho

I did not watxh dominion but she looks kinda like soyona santos

OOOHH BROOKLYNN FOHND A WAY IN

kenji and ben already beefing good lord

he is SUCH a terrible liar

WHYD KENJI END THE BRACHI SOUNDS LIKE THE KLIMPALOON

OOOH SOMETHJNF UNDER WATER

And now the brachis are spooked

IT IS SOYONA

RAPTOR

wow kenji risking hjs life again JESUS CHRIST MAN

all of their genuine looks of concern

that's a sick painting tho

"so much more precise than a whistle" soyona and handler beef

SOYONA KNOWS WHO SHE IS

OH SHE GOT OUT OF THERE

ig why they shared all those clips now bc tbjs is NOT playing out like I thought it would

to be so anti phone ben sure is attached to that phone

Sammy assuming bens gotta take a shit bc he ran off 😭

BROOKLYNN VIDEO CHATTINF HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMAMMAMAMMMMMMMMMMMM

BROOKLUNN TELLINF HIM TO KEEP HER A SECRET LIKE HE ISNT CONFLICTED ENOUFHHHH

SHE DELWTWD HER ACXOUNT GAAAHAHHHHH

ep 6:

IS BEN HAVJNF A PANIC ATTACK

THEYRE STARTING RHE EP LIKE THIS???

oh ok it was a mini panic

now yaz has TWO boys to be worried about

"I think I need to tell you somethjng...?" He doesn't know what to do :((((

THE UDNERWATER CREATIRE

DO THEY NOT KNOW HOW DANGEROUS HIPPOS ARE

mangoes are the cure to all

KENJI REACHING HIS ARN INTO THE HIPPOS MOITH???

Not it eating the phone

OHHHB BROOKS CUTTINF EVERYONE OFF SHE BLOCKED RONNIE

they've talked ab pooping twice now omg

yaz throwing kenjis problems onto darius omfg

sammy has grown so attached to zayna

SAMMYS A VEGETARIAN

IS THAT A CORPSEEEEEEE

oh ben is in an absolute panic omg

OOOH YAZ KNOWS HES KEEPIMG SECRETS

"all my proof is gone! dissolving in the stomach of a weirdly aggressive beast!"

why is everyone just throwing stuff on yaz rn 😭

PTEROSAUR

OH SKMETHJNF FUCKINF ATE THE PTEROASUAR IMMEDIATELY

SUCHOMIMUS

OH HO HOBHOOOO BROOKLYNN HAS THE DINO LASER

KENJI WITH THE DEATH WISH

YAZ GETTING CHASED BY A HIPPO??? IS THAT JOW SHE ENDED UP ALOME

OH DARIUS AND KENJI DONT KNOW YAZ DIDNT GET ON THE OTHER BOAT

KENJI GOT INJUREDDD

OH YAZ GOT KNOCKED OUT

BROOKLYNN AND HER MANUPULATING

OH IS BROOKLYNN GONNA END UP IN AFRICA

KENJIS SHOULDER IS JUST CADUALLY DISLOCATED??

HE JUST POPPED IT BAXN INTO PLACE LIKE IT WAS NOTHINF?????

NOOO HE WAS AB TO OPEN UP

THEY LEFT YAZZZZZ

she passed out in such a slay position tho omg

ep 7:

ooohh this has gotta be the yaz ep all the reviews were talkimf ab

THEY AINR TURN AROUMD FOR HER YET???

oh well the suchonmimus won thag battle

YAZ GIRL RUN WHIKE HES SLEEPINT

maybe it's just me but the flashlight is not thag important

THE ANIMATIONNNNNN WE CAN SEE HER TREMBLING

"well look who it is, the kenjinator" "my main man benny" why are they so awkward

"heyyyyy how are u doing... champ?" "champ? what is this what are u doing" the dialogue is so funny

thus soeech??? darius u used to be so good at this

"ahhh!! my socks are soaked"

YAZ DID ALL THAT FOW THE FLASHLUGHT AND ITS DEAD?????

oh there it goes

AND THERES DIMORPJOFONS???

AND THE FLASHLIGHT FELL RIGHT TOWARDS TBE SUCHOMIMUS SOMEONR FIVE THIS GIRL A BREAK

KENJIS OPENIMG UP BUT AT WHAG COST

HE BLAMIMG HIMSELF FOR YAZZZ

"I don't know how much more I can take" KENJKIIIIIIII :((((

KENJI BEN HEART TO HEART I've waited years for this

"WHO YA TRYNA HIT SAM???" "LEAVE A REVIEW LATER"

LIONS

YAZ HE SEES U

OH FUCK HES GOT HER

YAZ GOOOO

ok the sucho left her alone

NOW SHE HAS TO DEAL WITH LIPNS????

WAIT WHAT JUST KILLED THE LION

MANUNGUSAURUS

"MOVE YOUR BUTTS"

SHIT ANOTHER STANDIFF

SUCHO JUST CADUALLY GOT KILLED ON SCREEN LIKE THAT??

this scene is so menacing

kenji in between the gfs 😭

YASAMMY HUG

BROOKLYNM TEYINF TO CALL BEN AND THE PJONES GONE

ep 8:

kenji being protective over yaz 😭

OH IS THIS THE EP KENJI FINDS OUT

"you are not leaving me behjnd!" zaynas so real

also love the continuation that other ppl can here secret talks

OH POOR LEASHED DINOS

kenni finally realizing what he's doing to himself 😭

KENJINA HUGGGG

bro activities is laying on the ground together

damn those chains were pathetic

why are they all going into suspiciously dark areas

IS THIS A DINO FREEZER??

OH NO ITS A GENETUCS LAB

oh zayna clocked him

OH THE SHIP CAPTAIN

OH CAPTAIN LANG JUST GKT JILLED OK

THIS SVENE IS SO WELL DONE?? SO OMINOUS

OH SOMETHINS DOWN THERE WITH THEMMMM

they'd make terrible cheerleaders

OH THAG POOR BABY HAS NO EYES

THIS PLACE IS CRUELLLL

THERES RHE PROMO IMAGE

GEBA BABY UR OK

DARIUS RUN

DARIUS IS STILL DOWN THERE JFC

OH HES HOLDIMG OMTO THE OUTSIFE

"I knew u didn't hate me!"

SHIT DARIUSSSSSSS

BENS IN AN INTERROGATION ROOM KENJI CAN SEE HIM THIS IS HOW HE FINDS OHT ISNT IT

IM SORRY HE SEES BROOKLYNN WALK IN ON BEN??!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

BROOKLYNMS HERE?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?@??@?@

ohhhh this looks way wrong to kenji doesn't it

"She's alive? You knew?"

the interrogation set up eas an insane way to do thaf I loved it

ep 9:

I've been so drawn in on this ep I just realized I haven't been reviewing

anyway

BROOKLYNM SAVED THEM IN THE PIT THING

WILL WE GET TO FIND OT WHAT HAPPENED TO DARIUS

YEAH HE MADE IT

DAMN RHE OTHERS SAW HER TOOOO?!??!?!?!?!??

THIS MAN INTENTIONALLY CREATED THE EYELESS BARYONIX???? EVILLLLL

HE FED HER LIVE HUMANNNSSS?!?!??!?!??!??!?!?!

oh rip evil scientist man

OH WE HET TO HEAR BEN AND BROOKS WHOLE ARGUKMENT

"stop looking at me like that" :(((

ep 10:

FINALLEEEEE

fuck mu headphones are dying

BEN AND KENJI ANGST

OH SHIT KENJI BROKE THE GLASS WHAT IF HE HIT BENS FACE

OOHH KENJIS HURT

"after that we'll" "do something stupid? prpbably?" "probably"

EVIL SCIENTIST MAN LIVED???

omg are the acrociraptor and the baryonix communicating

YAY SCIENTIST MAN IS DEAD

oh kenjis trust is broken

BROOKLYNN HAVJNF TO HEAR HER FRIENDS SCREAM THIS IS CDUELL

WHEN WILL THRY REUINITEEE AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

ZAYNAS DAD TO THE RESCUE

SHES GOJNA BLOW IT UP AND KENJI AND VEN ARE SFILL IN THEREEEE

oh ok they drove their asses outta there

"nuh uh u don't get to talk" oh kenjis bitter

CONFRONTATIONNNNNNNNNNNN

ooohhh what's brooklynn gonna do

SHES LEABIFN THEM AND TAKIMG THE EGGGS???

SHE GAVE THEN BHNPYS EGG AND LEDT????????

THATS IT?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!???!??!?!?!??!

[biblicallyaccuratecrow]

ouroboros rambles chapter 2

you guys seemed to like the chapter 1 rambles, so here is chapter 2!

[spoilers for isat and twohats below the cut]

i would like to start by saying that we all need more mirabelle POV fics in our lives. she deserves only the best.

I always really liked how Mira didn't just. get over act 5? like, the things that siffrin said were hurtful! yes! and she loves him! even after that! but it doesn't erase the pain and the conflicting feelings regarding it, especially because of the no-spoilers rule... which we will get more into i proMISE! in any case I was focused a lot on the fact that Mira post canon is dealing with a Lot, what with everyone still believing that she was chosen by the Change God and yknow. saving Vaugarde, and Siffrin's overall condition doesn't help! She wants him to be okay and safe, and she has already shown that she feels immense guilt over not being able to help siffrin during the loops, so I kinda leaned hard into that.

The entire party is about to be So Tired Of People.... especially The Introverts (Odile, Mira, and Siffrin)...

The fucking cart thing came to me out of fucking nowhere. I have no idea where or why that bit came around.

Siffrin sleeping habits analysis. siffrin sleeps all curled up like a cat most of the time? theyre small scrappy, but not really the most physically strong (before the loops), and i imagine more than a few years of traveling alone would train him to be ready to protect themselves however they can, even in their sleep. I think that this eases up a bit as they get comfortable with the party, which leads to them being able to sleep "normally". but of course, that is how they wake up in the loops. negative association and trauma from waking up back in the meadow..... i don't imagine they'll be going back to that any time soon.

I do have a Full Catalog of Siffrin's injuries (because im actually insane) but that will be talked about in my chapter 3 rambles. for now though, all im gonna say is that Siffrin definitely kept the stars hidden. In my headcanon, healing craft only works when you can actually pinpoint a wound, internal or external. I'm more inclined to believe that siffrin healed them up the best they could on their own after to hide them.

Ohhhh odile. my beloved. i have so many feelings about her and how she processes siffrin's issues postcanon. feelings i will not get into until next chapter. sorry lmaoooooo. All you gotta know for now is that once she starts seeing things, she can't stop. the signs appear everywhere, and she very quickly puts the pieces together from that point. All it takes is one domino to start the cascade, and Odile is the kind of person that WILL get to the bottom of it all, no matter what it takes.

Mira's guilt. Oh man. There are some ways in which her and Siffrin are very alike, and this is one of them. She's justified in being mad, yes, but that doesn't erase the fact that she doesn't want to BE mad. She hates it. because she knows now that siffrin was suffering. She defeated the king, saved vaugarde, but the cost was her friend's health and happiness. siffrin said that they were happiest they'd ever been with the party... and yes, siffrin loves them all deeply, but she never could have wanted that love to come at such a great price.

Mira has gotta be TIRED. girl healed siffrin a grand total of (checks my page of notes from act 5) six times. with very little cooldown. and that was AFTER deflecting the ONE SHOT KILL attack from the king (which, even with the carrot method shield, does at least 1/4 damage) and unfreezing siffrin....ough. let her rest!

i love torturing isa using his crush. its so funny. bro is a disaster. brain completely short circuits at the thought of siffrin in his clothes i can IMAGINE IT SO CLEARLY.... odile is gon abe homophobic soon /silly

Siffrin's wish... this scene was really important to me. Just for clarification (and this will become a LOT more obvious later), I don't really regard this scene as Siffrin getting over what happened? Because he definitely isn't. But they have already literally let go of their wish, and I wanted to explore a more… intentional version of that? its long-lasting effects are still there, mentally and physically. it doesn't just go away. But it has served its purpose and this is my way of showing the transition point from the loops and their future with their family.

Also!!! the idea of mourning something that no longer serves its former purpose, a life you cannot get back. Siffrin can never go back to who they were before their wish. They have been fundamentally changed as a person. And while the wish did bring good things, the flipside is that it also dismantled their entire worldview and life in its entirety. They died from this wish, suffered because of it, but the meaning behind it remains, and i think that this scene kind of shows the idea that siffrin still feels compassion for what it originally meant to them. its a bittersweet reality.

[teecupangel]

IDEA: Desmond gets turned into a creature of your choosing, just has to be able to “write”. And yknow how we always go with the ‘his writing becomes illegible’ thing? What if all of his writing is unreadable except the word “Desmond”. Drop him in with Ezio and watch the chaos unfold.

I was thinking what creature we should go for and my brain just went ‘screw it, go with Slime Desmond so we don’t have to think if the creature can actually use a quill or if he’s using his hands to write’.

Then my next thought was “Wouldn’t it be funny if Desmond could write ‘Desmond’ but he can only write it in a specific language that Ezio doesn’t know? Like… the Isu script?” but you know what would be funnier?

Desmond had always been an intelligent creature.

He used his strange body structure to make creative shapes that Ezio would be able to decipher and understand. He was the best scout and planning partner to have.

His uncle believes Desmond was a descendant of the slime ‘companion’ the legendary Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad supposed had.

If he was, Ezio could see why everyone believed Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad was the best mentor the Brotherhood ever had.

Desmond made everything so easy that Ezio knew he needed to not depend on him too much. He needed to be able to stay on his own feet. To show that he was a formidable Assassin in his own rights.

That was why he asked Desmond to stay in Monteriggioni while he went to the Vatican to finally confront Rodrigo Borgia.

He focused on the safety of his family, knowing it was Desmond’s soft spot.

And it worked.

Desmond stayed and Ezio went to Rome alone.

And then he heard Minerva’s message.

‘Desmond’.

She specifically said Desmond’s name.

Desmond wasn’t a usual name and…

It was the only ‘word’ Desmond could write.

So when he returned to Monteriggioni, he briskly walked towards Desmond and crouched in front of him. Desmond’s entire body seemed to be vibrating slightly and Ezio pointed at him as he asked in an almost panicky tone, “Desmond?”

Desmond created too slimey appendages and pointed at himself, waving the tentacle-like appendages furiously.

“Desmond!” Ezio repeated and Desmond began to vibrate more noticeably.

“Desmond!” Ezio said cheerfully and Desmond started bouncing in front of him in pure joy.

“Why is my brother repeating Desmond’s name?” Claudia whispered from behind them, looking both confused and tired already.

“I’m not entirely sure…” Mario answered as he rubbed his chin.

“Ah, of course!” Ezio grabbed Desmond midbounce and held him in his arms before turning to face his family and allies. He recounted Minerva’s message and what he had seen, making his allies wear different expressions on their faces.

When he got to the part where Minerva specifically said Desmond’s name, Mario’s eyes widened as he asked, “Nipote, are you saying…”

“Yes.” Ezio raised Desmond to his eye-level as he proclaimed…

“Desmond is a messenger like Minerva! He keeps writing the name Desmond because he is looking for him!”

Desmond’s happy vibrations immediately stopped and then…

WHACK.

A tentacle appendage suddenly appeared from Desmond’s body and smacked Ezio behind the head, making the Assassin yelp in surprise and let go of Desmond.

Desmond quickly hopped away from them and went straight for the secret door that would lead to the Sanctuary below.

“What? What did I do? Was it supposed to be a secret, Desmond?!” Ezio followed the slime, already knowing it would be sulking behind the statue of Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad.

… leaving his family and allies back in the office who stared at the secret entrance.

“…………. well… who’s going to tell him that Desmond is angry because the obvious answer was he’s the Desmond in the message?”

“I will respectfully decline. For one, I don’t want to argue with Ezio about how that idea is foolish as this Desmond is meant to be alive centuries from now to save the world.”

“O dio mio, does that mean our Desmond used to be Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad’s Desmond?! Is Desmond immortal???”

“I’m going to bed. Wake me up once my brother stops being stupid.”