#yknow honestly. i think any negative affects it might have are a lot better than being dead. and i get woreied abt money and my sister being

[be-good-to-bugs]

one day everything is gonna be better!

[molsno]

I’m skipping the middleman on that trans ask game and just answering all the questions myself <3

this is long so it’s under a read more

1. How did you choose your name?

in senior year of high school, while I was in french class, I was thinking about the word vivre, to live, and how it conjugated. I forget what tense it is, but one way of conjugating it is “nous vivions”, and it dawned on me that the name vivian is based on the word vivre (or its latin origin). of course, I already liked the name due to the character from paper mario ttyd, but knowing that it means life really spoke to me, as I think the ability to live is a precious thing that shouldn’t be wasted. I decided pretty much then and there that I would name my daughter vivian some day. well... then I got the chance to play a character in my friend’s danganronpa killing game, and I thought playing a girl would be interesting. granted, I also already knew I was an egg and saw this as an opportunity to try out my favorite name, so I created vivian tamochi. as you might have guessed, I loved being her so much that I made vivian my actual name

2. What gives you the most dysphoria?

um, hearing recordings of my own voice probably. I always think that I sound very feminine but then I hear a recording of myself and it sounds like a bad impression

3. Do you have more physical dysphoria or more social dysphoria?

more social I guess? actually yeah I think all of the dysphoria-induced breakdowns I’ve had have been because of social things

4. What do you do to perform self-care when you’re feeling dysphoric?

something that helps a lot is shaving, especially when it’s a fullbody shave

5. What was the first time you suspected you were transgender?

this is a bit embarrassing but it was honestly christmas eve 2018. I saw my little cousin (I think she was 8 at the time) wearing a pretty dress and I felt sort of jealous that I never got to do that when I was her age. I was so confused about this feeling that I told my trans friend kyra about it and after asking me to clarify what I meant she linked me to the egg_irl subreddit. that was the first time I seriously considered it

6. When did you realize you were transgender?

I told my friend amanda how I’d been confused about my gender and she offered to take me to goodwill to try on some clothes. I was extremely nervous about it while we were there and I really had to work up the courage to not only pick out some clothes to try, but also take them to the fitting room with me. but once I put on a skirt for the first time I stood there for like a solid 5 minutes just looking at myself in the mirror with the biggest happiest smile on my face. in that moment I finally understood what gender euphoria was. I couldn’t deny I was trans any longer, it was just a matter of working up the courage to tell people

7. What is your favorite part of being transgender?

um, probably that I feel like a person now. also the little things, like seeing my hips get bigger or looking at how long my hair has gotten. just little things to smile about!

8. How would you explain your gender identity to others?

um, I’m girl <3

9. How did you come out? If you didn’t come out, why do you stay in the closet? Or what happened when you were outed?

I mean it depends on who, but I decided to do it on national coming out day 2019, in my discord server with friends. basically I commented on it being national coming out day and reposted my intro in the introductions channel with my new name and pronouns. everyone there sorta saw it coming I’m pretty sure

10. What have your experiences been with packing or tucking?

I’ve tucked a few times in public. it’s uncomfortable for sure, but not terrible once you get used to it. the idea of it made me squeamish at first, I’ll admit. but since I haven’t had much excuse to go out in girlmode the past year or so, I haven’t tucked much

11. What are your experiences with binding or wearing breast forms?

the closest I’ve ever gotten to wearing breast forms is wearing a bra every day for..... almost a year now? it doesn’t serve much purpose other than letting me feel something there, though that is changing since I’ve been on hrt for several months

12. Do you pass?

I mean... probably not? I feel like I’m very visibly trans. there have been like two times where I’ve been gendered correctly in public (one in girlmode, one not) but those are extremely rare

13. What (if any) steps do you want to take to medically transition?

well I’ve been on hrt for 8 months now so that’s one thing. I want to get laser hair removal for my facial hair because that’s one of the biggest sources of dysphoria for me, but yknow. that’s expensive! according to my understanding my insurance supposedly should cover bottom surgery, but I’m honestly in no rush to get that. I don’t really have much bottom dysphoria, but it would be nice to get surgery some day

14. How long have you been out?

it’s been about a year and two months now...... time flies

15. What labels have you used before you’ve settled on your current set?

up until I was like 17 I was incredibly insistent on being cis and straight despite very obvious (in retrospect) signs to the contrary. around 18 I was very confused why all my friends were lgbt in some form and also I kinda started realizing I don’t mind dick, and I thought it would all make sense if I was bi. I identified as cis and bi for like 4 years or so but the longer it went on the more wrong it felt considering I had never once during that time been attracted to a man

16. Have you ever experienced transphobia?

surprisingly not really? the most transphobia I’ve experienced has been a result of automated processes like proctored testing or emails. of course, I’ve seen all the nasty shit that terfs say about people like me, but I’ve never been a victim of it directly

17. What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom in public?

if there is a universal restroom that I can lock from inside then I use that. if not, I sigh dramatically and sadly use the men’s room

18. How does your family feel about your trans identity?

truthfully I don’t know. my mom seems accepting enough, but with the pandemic going on I haven’t talked to her much. I know my sister is aware, and shockingly she seems supportive too, but we haven’t talked about it in depth

19. Would you ever go stealth, and if you are stealth, why do you choose to be stealth?

if I could go stealth I would. I’m sorry but I don’t want to be visibly trans

20. What do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans?

the sooner you start transitioning the happier you’ll be. by denying this part of yourself you’re just making yourself miserable

21. Why do you use the pronouns you use?

she/her makes me happiest. I’ve (against my will, mind you) used they/them and been called molsno in a group that I wasn’t out in, and..... it made me feel..... distant, I guess? it was better than he/him, but it felt much less personal

22. Do your neurodivergencies and/or disabilities affect your gender?

I mean...... yeah? as a trans lesbian it’s very easy for me to hate masculinity given how it’s instilled nothing but negative feelings in me literally my entire life, and being autistic makes it harder to understand how the things I say about gender negatively impact the people around me

23. What’s your biggest trans-related fear?

the fear that I may never be able to believe I can be loved as a woman, probably

24. What medical, social, or personal steps have you already taken to start your transition?

coming out nearly everywhere and getting on hrt!

25. What do you wish cis people understood?

I desperately wish cis people understood even the basics of trans issues. still to this day many cis people don’t even know the right terminology to use for trans people. they think “trans man” and “trans woman” mean the opposite of what they actually mean and that’s just so goddamn frustrating. many of them think transitioning is just bottom surgery and that’s it. like, they don’t know anything about hrt. cis people please educate yourselves on trans issues I’m begging you

26. What impact has being trans had on your life?

it’s affected many aspects of my life but I think the biggest one is that I feel like a person now. I always felt like a robot, or like someone putting on a performance before, but I feel like a human being now

27. What do you do to validate yourself?

ummm... not much really. I guess one thing that has helped is making my character astrid trans? because if I ever think something bad about myself I can stop myself and ask if I would think the same thing about her, and of course the answer is no.

28. How do you feel about trans representation in media?

it’s bad. trans women very rarely get any positive representation. like the only transfem characters that come to mind that I think were handled well were lily hoshikawa from zombieland saga and vivian from paper mario (although even that’s debatable given the english censorship about her gender and the way beldam abuses her in japanese). meanwhile nonbinary representation consists almost exclusively of aliens, shapeshifters, robots, etc. and trans men get literally nothing. like. trans representation is just so abysmal it’s not even funny

29. Who is your favorite trans celebrity?

umm....... I don’t really care about celebrities lol. if I were to answer this question it would be “oh yes I’ve heard of these people”

30. Who is the transgender person who has influenced you the most?

gosh, how could I ever decide? most of my friends are trans so it’s hard to say but if I had to answer.... my friends kyra and modeus were probably the most helpful when I was figuring myself out

31. How are you involved with the trans community, IRL or online?

mostly online

32. How do you see yourself identifying and presenting in 5 years?

I’ll almost certainly still be a woman, and hopefully my transition will have gone well enough that I’ll be able to pass

33. What trans issue are you most passionate about?

healthcare. the difficulty so many people face with getting access to trans healthcare is ridiculous and discriminatory. I’ve written essays for school about this topic and they were the easiest essays I’ve had to write because of how passionate I am about this

34. What advice would you give to other trans people, or what message would you like to share with them?

pick your head up queen/king/royal, your cat ears are falling down

35. How do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality?

well I’m white, able bodied, average weight, and I’m about to get a degree in computer science, so I have a lot of privilege that other trans people don’t have. I fully recognize that. it breaks my heart that so many less privileged trans people, particularly trans women of color, are murdered and never even get the justice they deserve. I wish there was more I could do to stop it, but privileged as I am, I’m only one person. I want everyone to be aware of who the major victims of transphobia are. look out for black trans women especially, they need your protection and support most of all

36. What, if any, is the difference between your gender identity and your gender expression?

not much. I’m a woman with a very feminine gender expression, when I’m free to be. the biggest feminine thing that I don’t do is makeup, but that’s more due to dysphoria rather than a distaste for it

37. Do you feel more masculine, feminine, or neither?

feminine uwu

38. What is your sexual and romantic orientation, and what are your thoughts on it?

I am a lesbian and that is very epic of me. I love girls and seeing girls in love makes me happy and imagining myself as a girl in love with another girl makes me even happier

39. Is your ideal partner also trans, or do you not have a preference?

I always hate admitting this, but due to personal reasons, my ideal partner is cis. this is mostly because I very much want to have biological children, and that’s simply not possible with another trans woman. I wouldn’t rule out an afab nonbinary person entirely, it just really depends on how comfortable said person is with femininity and also how they feel about dating a lesbian. if not for my desire to have kids (which is not something I’m willing to compromise on since it has been my lifelong dream) I would have a lot more options. truth be told, cis women kind of scare me, and it would be so much easier to date someone who fundamentally understands what it’s like to be trans. but biology is cruel unfortunately

40. How did/do you manage waiting to transition?

it was incredibly difficult. thankfully, it didn’t last very long. I only had to wait about 6 months, and most of that time was spent waiting until I was able to bank sperm because I didn’t want to risk becoming permanently infertile after starting hrt

41. What is the place (blog, website, forum, IRL space) you get most of your info on being trans or on trans related things?

ngl...... reddit. the trans boards have many, many helpful resources for transfem people. I don’t really go there anymore but it was immensely helpful in the early stages

42. Do you interact with other trans people IRL?

I mean..... yeah, but not very much anymore on account of the pandemic. I made a few trans friends junior year of college and we still talk occasionally, but it’s been several months since I last saw them all

43. Are you involved in any trans-related activism?

not really 😔

44. Free space! Answer any question you want, or make up your own question to answer.

“Wow Vivi how come you’re so epic?”

I was born this way <3

[wavemaker9]

At like 9:40 in the middle of work I realized I forgot about Arthur so let’s talk about Toni with that boy.

The funniest thing about these two is that like. SpUk was I think the very first aph ship I ever did RP stuff for and yet at the time I wasn’t really about the two being together. I was fine with it, but at the time I didn’t have a good grasp on Toni’s personality and I hadn’t known enough yet about Arthur’s and so all I really knew (vaguely) was the history between them and I didn’t think that’d be something Toni’d want to long term deal with. And honestly, to a point, same even now. but I’ve found there’s more to it over the years and started to like it more, unfortunately only after the window of being able to rp it, so f there.

I think the best way to describe the two is the same way avi and khep describe gil and ivan’s relay in dif AUs. Which is like “i’m fascinated by their more aggressive/competitive dynamic when they have this really negative baggage between them, but I also like their dynamic when they don’t have that and can just be buds.” Similarly arthur and toni can get along really well and be a relatively good match, though not so much in verses like nationverse and gta au where toni has such a harder time letting things go.

Toni isn’t as bad as kyle is about grudges, I will say that. Kyle will hold a grudge after he’s forgotten what started it in the first place; he doesn’t need to know why he was mad, he just needs to know he was mad. Toni is better in two ways about that. 1, if he forgets why the grudge happened or 1, has more information to justify why the other did this thing he’s mad about where he can understand it and be chill with it, he’ll be mostly fine with letting it go, or at least letting it ease enough to get along with the other person in a civil way. The issue is that even if he can behave nice about it, that thought lingers in the back of his mind. It’s another factor in him often not being able to truly relax because ‘yeah sure, we’re getting along and laughing and having a good time, and I may even just like them as a person, but /also/. But also i still remember.’ it’s a definite issue in nationverse and gta au with arthur. Probably more so in gta au probably? Nationverse a lot of time has passed and because toni’s trying to more actively be a better person, that helps him to want to push past those thoughts. Their rivalry in the old days and shit is something they can probably both mostly laugh about now, though, even if the laugh is a little bitter. Gta au is worse, though, def. That happened very recently, and toni’s still mad about it to a point which sucks because he did really like being friends with arthur so it’s so frustrating that he has to hate him now (plus arthur not coming clean about where he got his info from is also so frustrating), and in turn i picture arthur kind of treating the lingering hostility as amusingly childish? He keeps poking here and there because it’s fun and toni prods back, arthur nudges a little more, toni pushes, arthur shoves, and suddenly they’re fighting again.

Which is the other issue of like, god they can be so competitive. This is less so but still true in the more chill xovers but really bad in the ones like nationverse and such. In the chill ones they can kind of try to keep it chill and mostly to sarcastic banter. Nationverse it sometimes falls apart to fighting but they're also here for that when it happens, so. GTA AU it often falls apart to fighting and they’re like less here for it but still kinda here for it. I think they had a lot of fun with that before things went bad and loved getting into fights with each other, but it sours in that the fighting becomes less fun when there’s actual anger behind it so while it still happens if they’re around each other for too long in gta au (I think I had notes somewhere saying this is why i picture arthur not being included in many boys nights), it’s not as enjoyable.

I will say though, even in the more chill AUs, this isn’t helped either by arthur being much more reserved and such as he gets older. Like toni also chills as he ages, but he can still be passionate and emotive when he wants to while arthur is never /great/ at learning that sort of language to communicate. He can be romantic too and stuff, but it’s harder for him to express himself. It’s again why kyle grows up not really thinking that arthur cares about him much in so many AUs. Kyle expects signs of affection to the same level he gives, and arthur is so reserved and not as emotive that he can give the wrong impression very easily.

I guess a tldr summary is that arthur is probably somewhere on the line around gil? He has a lot in common with toni like mel does, but he’s not a super ideal match romantically long term either from his reserved nature or their active hostility depending on the AU, which knocks him further down the list.

Also, while we’re at it, might as well address the elephant that always feels in the room of spamano? Which I can just sum up pretty simply as like. Nationverse or anything similar where Toni raises lovi in any way, even if not related, it’s 100% off limits. Even in like nationverse, Toni’d feel uncomfortable about that, both because yeah there def would be that weird factor of age differences (even if ages are weird and relative for nations) + that experience of raising him. I don’t think Toni’d have /quite/ as much of an issue with dating other newer nations, like i don’t like spaoz but i did write that one fic because i could at least picture that, even if kyle’s even younger than lovi. Toni would still not be 100% chill with it and probably wouldn’t let anything last very long with a more recent nation, but i think there’s more of an issue there with having directly helped raise lovi. It’s funny because toni def has a preference for power. It’s part of his pride thing, being in power in a situation is his kink. But he wants that to be a consenting power thing, and consent of authority gets a lot harder to work out if the other person already grew up with you as an authority figure. Plus! Lovi’s personality in general factors into that too. A, toni feels too worried about being a good role model for Lovi and like. Trying to be a good role model for your love interest doesn’t make for a /great/ relationship most of the time even without the “i helped raise you” factor. B, again even outside of nationverse things, like I think Toni would be more chill with Lovi’s personality, and it’d fall into the same area as like gil or francis of like ‘this is fine for a friend doing it’, but it’s still not a personality that at least my toni would long term want to be around. His ideal for a long term relay is way more romantic than that, and I understand and stuff that Lovi’s aggressive is covering up affection and stuff and that he’s capable of being softer, but also like. I already talked about how Toni’s “gotta be the best” mentality is already exhausting in a relay, but imagine how exhausting “my romance language is lots of affection and positivity and expressions of love, and I have to constantly translate your dismissive/aggressive comments into what they /might/ mean”. Like this is leagues worse than Arthur even where instead of just seeming distant or cold, it’s coming off as actively hostile in most casual situations. it’s bad for communication and once again blurs that consent factor covered before because sometimes “get lost, fuck face” means i love you and sometimes “get lost, fuck face” just means get lost, fuck face, and it’s hard to read the lines there sometimes. Toni can be more tolerating doing that with friends in dif AUs, as we’ve seen with BFT and Arthur and Boys Night, but that’s not what he wants out of a romance, that’s more how diego rolls with a relay. In AUs where tehy don’t have a child-guardian history, toni /might/ have a small thing with lovi, but it would not be long term unless lovi learned to be more consistently communicative in a positive way, and that’s not guaranteed to be what lovi wants either so yknow. It just couldn’t last otherwise.

[justastraightupmess]

k whta about u there gracie how would u rank them from healthy to toxic and why does it differ from me or wh at

i mean i think most of it will probably be the same tbh but lets roll.

also its gonna be hard not to be influenced by their potential to be healthier but i’ll do my bEst. 

adonis / mitsuki 

i mean. as we all know. they are literally goals and everyone else should learn from them. such sweet hearts who really value each other and show their appreciation and care. they look out for each other and actually fucking communicate. these two are just so great and so pure?? i love them??? 

and now a big ass jump way way way way down bc these two ^^ are honestly the only healthy ones

bailey / quinten 

honestly they’re partly this high bc i dont know enough about them to see any faults yet rip,,, obviously quinten is manipulative and has self esteem issues. but bailey is kinda,,, too dumb to really be affected by any of the negative things that might come from quinten?? hes too naive and happy go lucky to notice hes just out there having a good time showering quinten with love and affection 

levi / touma

i’ve placed them a bit higher because while yeah, its not great,,, and its not really healthy, its still not exactly harmful?? like i dont feel like either of them is really actively hurting the other person. i mean levi is helping touma (/forcing him) to come to terms with himself and his sexuality. mind you levi is a very manipulative person and thats by no means healthy, and touma is a push over and lets him get away with waaaaaay too much. they need to communicate better as well instead of levi saying “lets do this/i want this etc” and touma going along with it. i also feel like levi doesnt value touma as much as he should (yet, big yet tho) bc he doesnt realize how real his feelings are. but like i said these two arent really hurting each other ?? so ?? 

indigo / valentine 

i mean yIkes yeah poor val is definitely carrying this team. indy is extremely destructive and has so many fucking issues. he really really struggles to let people in and does everything he can to push them away. the only reason why they’re even slightly okay is because val is so patient. im putting them under tou and levi though because the way indy treats val sometimes is pretty bad. indy can be genuinely harmful, he can say mean things and do things he knows will hurt val on purpose to push him away, i wouldn’t say he does this often though, only at times when hes feeling really bad and its almost like hes testing val?? that being said even normally indy is a pretty abrasive person, he swears and insults people a lot just in everyday conversation, when hes like that hes not intending to hurt val and i dont think he does so that okayish i guess but still not great. val puts up with way more shit than he should and its rlly only because he has such thick skin and patience that they word and dont spiral into proper fights and even more toxic behavior. but when indy is good, ina  good mood and feeling good he can be softer and more affectionate, he can try to show val in very very small ways that he does appreciate him. so thats why they’re a bit higher. 

luke / everett

listen they’re pretty close but i’m putting them below. mostly because of luke tbh like i’d say 65% luke 35% ev. honestly these guys indy/val and tou/lev are all pretty close. but anyway. these two are one of the pairs that really truly care so fucking deeply for each other. like luke loves ev, with or without any romantic feelings he loves ev so fucking much. and they obviously care for each other and appreciate each other, they do shit for each other. when they’re good they’re very good and if they were always good i’d put them a lot higher bc of the really strong bond they have with each other. buuuuuuut when its bad it gets real bad. and i think these two can be very harmful and toxic when it gets bad. on ev’s part it’d obviously just be his explosive temper, luke tries hard not to lose his temper and tries to calm the situations down whether hes in the right or the wrong, he has better control of his emotions (/better at ignoring them) than ev, but ev is much quicker to lose his cool and lose it for good, though he is definitely getting better at that. on luke’s part,,, yikes. when they fight and when they get pushed to the point of really properly fighting luke says some mean ass shit,. eg when he called ev a whore. its when lukes loses his tightly kept control over his emotions that a lot of his passive aggressive, judgmental shit from his upbringing comes out, bc he consciously works to keep that part of him down normally, but yeah it comes out when he gets real mad and he can be a real dick. and even when they’re not fighting luke is still pretty passive aggressive and to some degree unconsciously looks down on/did look down on ev. which is not nice

naoki / luciel 

yeah this is bc of luciel for sure,,, they’ll be up there when they get past his creepy ass behavior bc i think they have very good potential to have really good communication like adonis and mitsuki. but for now they belong down here bc luciel worships naoki in a very unhealthy way, and hes a fkin creeper 

dante / chikara 

im gonna put them second from last only because i dont think they are even at their prime of being toxic yet,, like i think it’ll get worse from here. bc right now i dont think either cares enough for it to be as bad as it can get. once it does then yikes,,, a lot of issues. 

andrew / daiki

im putting then right down here on the bottom because right now as it stands their relationship isnt benefiting either of them, its not making either of them better people and honestly rn its making them worse?? in the sense that, andrew is enabling and reinforcing daiki’s bad behavior, hes a pushover obviously and is letting daiki do as he pleases and walk all over him as he pleases regardless of how it makes andy feel. as well as that its making andrew feel worse about himself. before meeting daiki he was?? pretty content ig he didnt think that great of himself or anything but yknow. but now he feels like a plaything for daiki, he doesnt feel like daiki actually loves or likes him, he thinks daiki is just using him for fun until hes done with him. hes basically belittling himself to being nothing but a cocksleeve for daiki,,, and ofc that makes andrew feel worse abt himself. he feels like shit bc he likes daiki a lot but doesnt think daiki likes him back and he feels like shit for not putting a stop to it or making a stand kinda thing. buuuut yknow eventually he will and they’ll start getting better. idk if they will ever be near the top up there with adonis and mitsuki but they’ll at least be soooo much higher with time 

[quadratic-shipping]

Kay, new icon is Vriska’s dice cause the gradient was lame, and every Vriska blog halfway to sunday has already had every photo of her face as their icon twice. It also works cause of yknow liking dnd and stuff. one thing I really liked about my last vriska pic one was the negative space made it feel like it popped and I feel like this one has sort of the same thing going for it. Wow, it can be that deep. I’m just rambling cause it’s 3am and yet again I have stayed up this long. I can;t wait til it’s winter again so I can force myself back into a normal sleep schedule. I stayed up all night a couple nights ago, and that gave me one decent night of sleep so I might just try that again tonight. Rest put under the readmore because it’s irrelevant and sleep deprived rambling I wouldn’t dare subject my beautiful followers and browsers to.

While I’m here, posting a late night thing no one will see or interact with; thank god; I was cleaning and I came across one of those neck warmer things that legit just a tube you pull up your face to keep your nose from freezing off because Canada Winters, I never can use them because I always fog up my glasses, and I just wanted to say that Niqabi gals with glasses are so brave? Legit if I had to deal with my glasses fogging up I’d die, I’d rather lose my nose to frostbite than fog them up (like I go outside enough loll) so for them to deal with that everyday is like, legendary. I mean, I guess if you were pretty antisocial you wouldn’t have to deal with it much but still, point totally stands. 

While we’re on the positivity train? Lesbians? y’all really like Vriska HUH? Thank you for interacting, I appreciate, yall are so valid. I’m torn between “You have good taste” jokes and “Yall will just like anything w/ vriska in it” and either way it takes too strong a stance on my own content to feel good about it. Obvs goes the same way for all the NB and Trans ppl interacting, yall are also Excellent and I appreciate yall. Obvs I’m cis so I don’t have any real godtier takes or anything abt. gender, but reading your guyss stuff is excellent please keep making it.

Uh sexuality update; Still labelling as bi, IDK if I really want to date men tho, before I actually and FINALLY get a taste of the other side; please; because I feel like the problem with my relationships re; dudes is just that I can’t just be myself, I’m just 900000% in my own head about it and not even like; trying to be idealized, idk whats going on I just have a hard time connecting w/ them and it’s defo my fault so idk bro. IDK it’s fun to have crushes but dating is BORING from my very limited experience with only guys which is why a gf would be excellent. Or girl aligned partner. I feel like maybe what I’m attracted to is like, femininity, not necessarily femmes or women. IDK bruh it’s weird. doesn’t help I can’t even figure out how to get and keep friends LOLLL it’s 3am. Sorry

Honestly before I started vrisrose posting I felt so useless yknow cause in the vriska circles there are a lot of intelligent people who understand canon better and are overall smarter and better spoken so I just felt like everything I had to say was just old hat and not very interesting. But the thing I like about VrisRose is no one else is talking about it as frequently ( I was searching the tag and my blog came up in the recco’s for blogs up top and I was very happy) so I feel like, hey, this is my niche. That one engineer of useless inventions quote: The best way to become top of your field is to specialize:, I jsut love rarepairs so much! I think it’s such a great way to approach character analysis because no one exists in a vaccum so seeing peoples interactions and what people like is so fun!!!! I say, invalidating all my personal issues lollll

CHARACTER ANALYSIS! FUCK TALKING ABOUT INTERACTIONS OR ACTIONS ON THEIR OWN OR THOUGHTS OR HC’S, I STAND BY MY ONE TAAKO ‘vriska did nothing wrong’ QUOTE; Trying to understand what characters morals, and their opinions on certain things by analyzing their opinions and interactions in canon is 500x more productive seeming to me than other things. Like, say taako’s thoughts about vriska, V and Lucretia are p similar actions wise, and he was pissed at her but that was mostly cause of the personal connections, when it doesn’t affect him Taako doesn’t seem to have any moral objections to any of the icky moral stuff; think robot planet or whatevs where they were gonna genocide the place and lup was like no and that was like the only reason he didn’t I’m pretty sure, I’m not too big brained on taako or adventurezone either so don’t take my word; So I think that Taak’s would be chill with Vriska. Another thing? The Lucretia thing was like, giving up which Taako is not ok with and Vriska thigns were about not giving up so I do legit think he would be totally coool with her, even if she were real, unless obvs she hurt one of the seven bird red robe people and their new friends.

ISN;T THAT SUCH A FUN METHOD OF CHARACTER ANALYSIS? I’m not drunk or in an altered state just tired enthusiastic and with a lot of pent up thoughts. Speaking of which, this song just came on it’s “Slowdance with you” by the Marcus Hedges Trend Orchestra and it is SOOOOO good, it’s on a vrisrezi playlist I put on bc I’m rereading song of the pyre because it was vriska day and it’s super good soo so good. It’s on loop now, legit best

Quick detours before I lay out some more hs thoughts; 

Overwatch:

-Ben “Captainplanet” came out w/ a new article and I LOVE IT so much and I want hhis job so bad I wanna get into stats so much ahhh  please so good it’s giving me a , this is crude but it’s the best way I can phrase it, a math erection. I love math so much <33333333

-The Shock, my faves, are doing well and I’m happy for them! I hope they go 7-0, I believe in them! I’m lying I am so fucking nervous for literally every match they have they’re gonna 2-5 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Why am I so INVESTED? They technically could take first spot but that’s require titan’s to lose every match left and the shock to 7-0, but the thing is I thought that I wanted that but 

-then I watched the titans london match today, and I HATED the thought of titans losing. And losing so hard to other teams too, and I didn’t realize this but I think I do actually kinda like the titans?The thought of them not being a great team makes me sad. I think it’s like I really like them and shock as rivals, yknow, stage one and two, then this upcoming map? If Titans aren’t still Good in this meta it just sorta makes their rivalry not fun. Kismesis vibes is what I’m gonna say cause I’m TRASSSHHHHH pls stop my terrible hands from typing also if I ever saw actual ship stuff I would kill whoever made it. Like I’m not gonna check their socials or anything but if they’ve got a match against most teams I’d probs root for them. The Wolf section today was so funny lollll

-I think I might hate the London Spitfire. I have literally no reason to? I think all the players are good and I like them as people and I would never actively hate on them? But I’m like. Really mean to them in my head. I was so satisfied seeing htem lose to Florida, and Titans like IDK? Also they’re hella overrated so anticlutch jfc. Hate the franchise, love the players if that makes sense. IDK WHYYYYYYYYYYY

-Also I’m gonna miss tomorrows shock match and I’m so scared rip.

Misc: 

-Tripped backwards and somehow upturned my moms glass scale and it fell on my foot, that shit hurted.

-Oh My God I’m Projecting a million different things right now because I feel like this will not have an audience if you see this I’m begging you please don’t interact I’d die of embarassment keep the fact you’ve seen this a secret from me

HS:

-JFC song of the pyre is an excellent fic, I wish it would ever get updated it’s so fucking good guys

-I need to read more vrisrezi long form

-Non-sgrub vrisrezi is best vrisrezi

-My ideal Vrisrezi au would be like HS canon, diverge into non-sgrub and they completely fall out of touch, Killing Eve season 1, then Song of the Pyre. THAT is what I want.

-Killing eve season one and two would be an even BETTER VRISROSE AU AHHHHHH

-I once read a very good trollstuck rose but it was an eri-rose ship so basically what I want is that persons troll rose but paired with vriska. For how much I blog about it I’ve read very little vrisrose fic but almost everything I know comes from this fic. . Oh uh this is not the erirose fic that I read w trollstuck although it does unfortunately have erirose but I can excuse it when the vrisrose is this Excellent

Alright I’ve run out of hyper juice, have a nice night, sorry for posting thisssss

bye