#yesterday was my first real break day so i chilled watching stuff

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Ive made through chapters 4-7 today and good god, I feel like i had basically nothing to say about acotar as I was reading it but with this book theres so much to talk about for some reason, its wild. Truly, I did not realize how much I liked Feyre in the first book until I was under threat of losing her

Now, I will say that Feyre seems in-character so far, shes still the same woman but traumatized, but I am worried for her. Tamlin is a whole different story though, SJM might as well shoot him dead right in front of me for how thoroughly hes being character assassinated. Like, if Tamlin actually cares about Feyre as a person and not just in a douchy, possessive alphahole way, which he should because Tamlin was not that kind of guy previously, then he would force Feyre to train so she can defend herself if necessary, not forbid her from it. Even if he didnt want her to use her magical powers, surely he would make her practice with her knife or with a sword or even with her bow just to be safe, because hes not always gonna be there

I think his actions do continue to make sense if you look at them from his perspective, but I also maintain that he's doing a really bad job at responding to Feyre. But also, its so laughably obvious what sjm is doing by having Tamlin say shit like "you were stolen from me", shes trying to paint him as some objectifying asshole. Even Lucien calling her "Tamlin's bride" feels like its part of all this, and I know Ianthe is gonna turn out to be a traitor and a rapist at some point, so it really comes across as an attempt to villify the entire spring court for its association with Tamlin

Speaking of Lucien, I genuinely think part of the reason Feylin is doing so badly in this book is that his dynamic with Tamlin is completely different now. For some reason hes all like "oh, my High Lord" instead of "my good friend Tamlin", he suddenly cant say a word against him when he was talking to shit to him just a few months ago in-uinverse. Like, if their dynamic was the same as it was in acotar, Lucien wouldve probably been like "hey man, I know youre stressed and I get it, I know what its like to watch the love of my life get brutally murdered I dont know what its like to have her magically ressurected again but thats neither here nor there, but Feyre is clearly not happy being inside all day and you need a break, go take her out on a date in the woods, I'll stay here and take care of everything, dont even worry about it" or gotten him to comprise with Feyre or chill tf out or SOMETHING but because theres suddenly this rigid hierarchy in the spring court in order to make the night court look better

Speaking of the night court, Ive heard some stuff about it feeling very orientalist but it still managed to completely blindsight me with its badness. Feyre got fucking harem pants to wear, really? And a short-sleeved croptop, and no fucking shoes, probably because Rhys didnt want Feyre throwing shoes at him again. That was the one moment in this book that brought me genuine joy btw, I would read a thousand fanfics about her just throwing shit at him

Anyway, speaking of my guy (derogatory) Rhysand Nolastname, hes so incredibly annoying I dont even have any coherent thoughts about him right now, like, if I were to write down what I think of him I would just write "he fuckinh pisses me off" over and over again. Im actually a really big fan of edgy shadow bois, but only if theyre like, sad and angry and closed off, if theyre like Rhysand and theyre all flirty and teasing and cocky and shit, theyre just annoying and nothing else. And the romance has barely even started yet, I cant imagine how much worse the flirting is gonna get later. Not to mention all these desperate and obvious attempts by sjm to make him sympathetic and morally good now, its honestly pretty pathetic

Now Im gonna be real with you, I didnt get a lot of sleep yesterday and I can feel myself and the things Im writing getting less and less coherent, so Im just gonna hit you with the very last of my thoughts bullet point style

The fact that Amarantha apparently didnt actually go rogue and it was all part of Hybern's plan feels misogynistic ngl

Ianthe's entire character already feels so misogynistic and slutshame-y and she hasnt even assaulted anyone yet

Something about Mor bothers me, I cant quite put my finger on it but its there. I think I do like her for annoying Rhys though

God, Im gonna have so much to say about the Illyrians but for now, its awfully bold of Rhysand to be like "they wasted no time throwing themselves before her feet" when THATS WHAT HE DID

Thats it for now

[duckislord622]

So on brand. Honestly. I said hi and vanished.

T.T

Hello again!

An update for anyone who bothers to read it, mostly for me tho lol

So.. life happened, shit happened. And both together did too. Some pointers-

I completed one year at college! 2nd year has started wheeee!! Summer break is ending soon so I'll be back to college in a few days.

Was watching YT shorts yesterday and saw one about tumblr. That revived memories. Had to come back :')

3. I came out to my father (I'm bi, actually). No I didn't do it myself, he read some chats between me and my bestie (<- long LONG story which we'll get into later maybe). He wasn't exactly chill, but it didn't go bad either. All in all, papa knows I'm not straight.

4. I.. got a crush on this guy for months.. we talked👉👈 (a lot) for over two months, told him I liked him (but also that I wasn't looking for a relationship) and he was pretty cool about it (YAY). So.. first time confessing to someone gone right hehe.

5. However.. dad found out about it over summer break and.. lets just say stuff went downhill Real Quick. Haven't had contact in two months with the guy (<- now that sucks)

6. Got jaundice. So I looked like mango ice cream for a good few days. But all well now!

[am3ricanj3sus]

4/26

song of the day:

today wasn’t so bad y’all. I actually found it pretty nice. I talked to js about all my friends and found out so many things.

today there was like a fight in the locker room and I was like omg…. I didn’t know the girls involved personally but there was like pepper spray and stuff involved. it was crazy. anyways. I learned how to officially use a sewing machine!!!! I tend to forget about the presser foot sometimes and I think that’s what messes me up the most. in second period we had a sub and he was kinda mean. he was chill mostly but like js another white man. he kinda looks like the guy for terminator. but the best was lunch tbh. my dad brought me chinese food from one of my fav places and I was so happy. I shared with my friends and we talked shit. in third it was basically the same thing. talking shit and eating. and I love my friends in that class and we feel really close at times but then their other friends come in and they up and leave and i’m js there like :( I don’t really care ik that there closer with them but they js leave. it’s whatever though. this time they included me in the convo!!! in fourth we had a sub too and she’s pretty chill cause she’s older. I only made like 4 plates this week when I was supposed to make 6 sooo erm. i’m js so tired of that class. like I love it it’s fun but I don’t have friends so it’s boring. anyways me and my mom were supposed to go to the school musical tonight but she got sick so we couldn’t. it’s whatever though cause we’re going tmrw night.

anyways. I watched millers girl and it really got me thinking. like ofc it’s bad if an older man takes advantage of a young girl. but I would never actually get with my tc. like that’s all pure fantasy. and I think people misunderstand that about having tcs. like most will never do anything about it since their tcs have like family’s and wife’s. mines pretty young so he hasn’t settled down and there’s that little hope of “oh i have a chance” but also like… girl wtf. like I said. it’s all a fantasy. but speaking of mr c. I only saw him once today wtf. and I didn’t even see him fully!!! he was coming out of the staff bathroom and looked my way (I was being loud asf) and I was talking to my friend about it like. i’m almost done with school. I graduate in a year. it’s whatever if I have a crush on him. it’s not like i’m gonna act on it. there’s times I wish I would but ik I shouldn’t and won’t.

anyways that other guy I had a crush on. man he’s being a bitch. he’s my friend and I love him. but he got a gf YESTERDAY and he’s like ignoring our friends. he’s been acting weird all day but jeez. and the girl he’s dating is nice. like i’ve had classes with her she’s chill. but he’s being like weird. I miss him. ik that he’s better mentally now more than ever. but I miss who he was before he lost his old friends and started dating her. but alas, there’s not much I can do.

now, i’ve had a crush on this guy, i’ll call him coco, since october. I don’t even know how it happened. I had 2 classes with him last semester and I didn’t even notice him till after fall break. he came to school with this hair cut and I was like omg… and I started to develop a crush on him before break. like the week leading up to it. I remember during a kahoot for history he took my spot at the top of the board and I went “who tf is coco?!?” (like the one tiktok but his real name yk) and my friend was like “that one in the corner” and I was like oh okay…;). and it kinda js took off from there. I spent 3 months like just crushing on him like crazy. I would answer questions and try and be funny out loud so that he would see me. but it has not worked. and i’m scared to talk to him. he’s like kinda weird tbh. but that’s for another time. I was scared since I didn’t have any classes with him for second semester but also glad since i could get over my crush. then the first day of the semester came. and I didn’t have a second period. so I talked to my councilor and she’s like oh let’s put u in second period english. i’m like yayaya cause it’s with a teacher I love. so I walk into class and i’m smiling and then boom. he’s right there. wtf bro bro. it was cool though cause all my friends are in that class too. my crush for him is still there but it’s slowing going away. I think everything he’s said about anything has just made me want to throw up. but he’s so pretty. like ugh. he doesn’t smile all the often and ugh. he’s so cute when he does. there’s this pic of his freshman year where he is trying to smile with his teeth but he’s like forcing it so he js looks goofy. I love it though he’s so cute like:(((((( but im never gonna tell him. i’d rather die actually. which it why i’m gonna go to bed.

[returntosaturn271995]

Thursday, August 31st: Last day of summer

Today I woke up ready to get back at it. After fucking around with my liver and life on Sunday and Monday, I spent yesterday and today getting more human and remembering my goals.

Water, work, and working out.

My cardio yesterday led to me passing out before midnight after watching the finale of "The Ultimatum" with Makenna while eating sushi. Today I did a 15-minute run while listening to Renee Rapp's new album and finishing my month of running strong. My pace was closer to 9 minutes than 8, but the point is I fucking moved and will likely get better while doing Sober September.

I also got back into meditation after my couple-day break, although that did mean saying goodbye to my 80-something streak. The focus of this one, as always, felt weirdly appropriate (almost as if I'm not the only person in the world with problems?). It was the idea of a "mood tunnel" and how your dispostion can color your view of the world.

Basically the classic freshman-year psych quote: "We don't see things as they are but as we are". This explains a drunken text I sent Kelly last time I was upset: "I worry that I was broken so young that I'm just unlovable. That's my big dark thing. I'm broken and people can smell it like dogs sniffing for coke at the airport."

This is both accurate and tbh pretty funny for someone who was in the mood tunnel I lovingly know as "Self-Pity". I'm not quite at the delusional optimism/progress tunnel I had been good about in July, but I feel grounded and like I can take on life even when sunshine isn't coming directly out of my ass.

Oh, and I was right. The love of your life doesn't ask you to go fucking mini-golfing on a first date. Seriously. I can't believe we let men out in the world with regular people.

Back on my grind, I cleaned the kitchen, took out the trash, and made goat cheese and jalapeno burgers for lunch while listening to a podcast about those silent twins who committed all of that arson until one of them died. Yes, I know true crime is problematic, but I was cooking for myself, give me a break!

After finishing up some work tasks and saying "Adios, Flop!" to my deeply unpleasant co-worker, Halle, I laid out on the back porch lounger and read up on all the political stuff I've been missing out on lately while Lumos roamed around sniffing things. Real talk: he's been so chill ever since Hannah got him on kitty-Xanax. (I kind of want to slip some in her food now just so she's less angsty.)

Current state of the world? Self-driving cars, they're fucking with history in schools...oh! and another white supremacist mass shooting set against the backdrop of Hurricane India because I do in fact live in a hellscape.

Honestly, considering what everyone's going through it's a miracle I still get out of bed and put on sunscreen.

My goals for this Thursday are not to spend a dime, do some yoga as too avoid shin splints, maybe cook myself another meal, and read more of Mathew McConaguey's book instead of just telling people I've read it.

[braverytattoos]

That is fantastically wonderful news!!!! GO CROATIA! Congrats to your team! Glad you got to have a wonderful, chill day while watching the win, seeing a friend play, and celebrating! Love it!

I had my Christmas gathering with my family yesterday. Dad, mom, siblings, in-laws, nieces and nephews...all 24 of us (and two people missing)! (A true Tomlinson family of 7 kids, haha) So today is my lazy day of Real Housewives of Miami and catching up on the wonderful advent fics.

I know you've been waiting to share a pic of Niall, hehe, so let's get to some questions!

Which movie or TV show do you quote most often? 

What's the first thing you'd buy if you won the lottery today?

What is your favorite Niall picture? 

Have a happy lazy Sunday!

-HP

YES!!! it was amazing, i stayed up all night with a group of fellow cros partying with my dad 😂 now we're just watching the local TV channel, the whole country is waiting to welcome back the team, so magical. wow a very louis christmas! i'm glad you had some family time, thats always important! omg, have you seen housewives of new york? i watched that whole season, i've yet to watch miami but my best friend LOVES IT.

i think it'd have to be breaking bad 😂 mostly the "gatorade me bitch" quote

AHHHH well i'd prob buy a plane ticket for me, my friends and any of my family who want to come to go visit croatia!!! i havent been since i was 11 years old and all this world cup stuff has got me missing it 😭

niall being a soft bf is my fav vibe;

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

i have been so all over the place today it’s not even funny like if i could just commit to one thing that’d be incredible

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Rainy Afternoon- Klaus Hargreeves x reader

Summary: It’s supposed to be movie night, though Klaus always seems to change that in one way or another.

Warning: fluff, smut mentions

Masterlist

Klaus gently grabbed your shoulders, his face inches from yours as he looks deeply into your eyes, “We’re watching Twilight.” He says softly in the most gentle and sweetest of voices, like he telling you he loves you for the first time or something of the sort.

You let out an amused snort, “No, we are not.” The words leaving your lips bluntly and with as much enthusiasm as a stick.

Laying sprawled out on yours and Klaus’ shared apartment bed, your eyes trailing over the chipped white ceiling as your cuddly man hugs your torso. You couldn’t feel happier or more loved right now in this very moment while a storm rages against the window.

It’s about three in the afternoon and the clouds don’t seem to want to move, nor does the sky appear to remain keen on halting its assault of never ending water droplets onto the city below. But that’s all well and fine with you and Klaus on this lazy Thursday.

So far the two of you have half successfully baked a chocolate cake and eaten mostly all of it for your breakfast/lunch like the health conscious adults you are. Then for almost two hours you both danced around the apartment like wild hoodlums, making sure to push all the furniture aside for safety and to better show off your fantastical dancing skills. After that rush of excitement and heavy physical activity, you both stuck your heads out the window to let the soft pattering of the rain cool you two off.

Once that was done, Klaus dragged your bum to the bedroom for some kisses and a needed cuddle session now resulting in the two of you laying in your casual positioning for the time being. The only sounds to be heard is the pouring of the rain outside and Klaus’ dramatic sighing he does when he wants your attention.

Though you’re trying to ignore it just to fuck with him, even so, it appears your man will not let the room stay in a peaceful quietness. With Klaus. Never.

“What if we had tails?” Randomly questions Klaus, the feel of his hard chin digging into your rips as he tries to look up at you for an answer.

Tilting your head down ever so slightly to meet his emerald gaze you smirk, “What if you shut the fuck up?”

Abruptly lifting himself off of you, you’re left slightly colder as his face feigns offense, “Rude.” He tisks in disapproval, “Y/N you kiss me with that mouth.” He giggles, moving to hover over you, both of his muscular arms to either side of your face.

Looking up into his green irises you can’t help the love struck smile that tugs at the corners of your lips, “You’re one to talk considering yesterday I was making you say a whole lot worse while we were...”

Suddenly his lips are on yours and the slight chill you might have once had is gone in an instant. He’s warm and welcoming as always, letting this moment take its sweet time as he slowly lowers himself flush against you.

Feeling the full weight of Klaus is a solid blessing, he’s warm and enough to cover your smaller frame which is always nice. Soon he’s caressing your hair as his legs fall on the mattress in between your thighs while he continues to move gently against your lips.

All to soon Klaus pulls away, resting his elbows against the bed as he stares deeply into your beaming gaze and almost swollen lips from the swiftly pleasant previous events. His hair is a usual mess, dark brown locks throwing themselves every which way. His unkempt mane is slightly longer then normal but you’re not complaining, gives you something to tug when you’re getting rawed into the mattress.

Without a second to spare he leans down to press a sweet kiss upon your lips before pulling away just as quickly, a mischievous glimmer to his eye that sends an electric bolt of excitement into your body.

Letting your finger tips lightly drag down the side of his handsome features, he closes his eyes as you smile, “I know that look. What do you have in mind we do next?”

Opening his eyes once more, he kisses your cheek, “Oh I have something very intriguing swirling through this wonderland.” He quips, ever so slightly pressing into you as he pecks the corner of your lips.

“Klaus.” You halfheartedly warn, “You’re treading on some very dangerous territory my love, are you even prepared?” You purr, sending shivers down his naked spine as you drag your nails gently down his back, causing the man to close his eyes in pleasure. “You are weak to my power.”

Leaning his head against yours, Klaus tugs at a small lock of your hair, “Y/N. You have no fucking idea.” He mutters lowly, oh you got him now.

“You are nothing but a simple weary traveler who’ve lost their way in the storm.” You whisper, “Wandering, lonely, desperate...”

“Y/N.” He warns, though there is no real threat that could make you fall back in fear, Klaus loves when you act like this. God you’ve got him by a string.

“A man alone is no way to live in this world. It’s a fortunate thing I have found you then, and taken you into my castle.” Your words are soft and sensual as your body begins to press up into his growing member, “Now look at us, how far things have gone from when I found you alone in the woods. Now you’re tiny and desperately in need of being touched.”

“Oh lord.” Mumbles Klaus as you tug at his tiny neon boxers, your lips dancing across his cheeks the whole time.

——

Panting from Klaus’ persistent love making capabilities that’s left you sweaty and slightly sore in more areas then your thighs. You take a deep satisfied breath, body nude and hot as you lay against the beds soft blankets, listening to the pitter patter of rain against the window.

Klaus is a sight to behold, with his hair a wild jungle and his body absolutely glistening in the neon lights of your room. He lays on his back next to you, eyes closed as his face reveals a big dumb smile blessing his handsome features for you and only you to enjoy.

His naked chest rises and falls in repetitive slow waves as he keeps a single hand protectively against your wrist that’s closest to him. You can tell he’s spent, giving all of himself to you in many positions and various places throughout the room is no easy feat. But you’re worth everything to him.

You blink up at the ceiling, immensely enjoying the feeling of being naked and completely vulnerable to the world in this very moment. Though the prying eyes of the universe isn’t a huge problem right now, you’re just grateful to have someone like Klaus who absolutely worships you.

He’s never made you feel like shit, never judged you, let you down when you needed him most, or mocked you for anything. He’s always made sure to keep you close and to never let his addictions get in the way of your love and deep friendship. Sure he’s struggled, but you’ve always been there to reach out a hand when he stumbles.

And for that he owes you everything, possibly even his life. Though he’d never want to fully admit that, he’s still a bit stubborn in those areas. But without a doubt he has always shown you how much you mean to him, and that means more to you then anything in the whole wide world.

Gently tapping your wrist, Klaus stirs from beside you, “Y/N.” He whispers, causing you to turn your attention over to him.

“Yes?” You whisper back, eyes trailing from his lips over to his emerald eyes.

He breaks out into a cute little smile when your gaze meet, “I’m hungry.”

“Me too.” You confirm, shifting yourself on the bed so that you’re now laying on your stomach facing Klaus, “I have a fantastic idea and it involves you going to get us something to eat.”

“Blah.” Complains Klaus with a pout, “Can’t we just order gummy worms? Oh, some of that Thai from Fifth Avenue?”

Shaking your head you chuckle, “I’m afraid not, they don’t serve gelatin sour candy or have delivery.”

“Tragic.”

“Well....we could go on a heist to the 7 eleven, you wanna join me?” You ask while gently twirling his hair with your fingers as he thinks of an excuse or hopefully a more positive answer.

“Ugh but the rain.” Whines your man as he throws his arm up to point dramatically at the window before it falls back onto the bed with a thwump sound. “Why do humans need to eat?”

Leaning your head down, you gently kiss his lips for a few moments to silence his dull excuses before pulling away once more, “Why do humans need to fuck?” You whisper to him in the darkly lit room as rain continues to softly patters against the glass.

Raising a brow, you watch as his lips shift into a grin, “Fair point my dear. Fair point.” He mumbles while reaching a hand up to press your lips against his once more. He tastes so sweet and delicious, but alas your stomach growls in defiance as it complains of your hunger.

Tugging on his hair, you lift your head up to give him a half annoyed look, “Stop kissing me. We need to eat something and the fridge is empty.”

Smiling cheekily he softly caresses your skin, “Why can’t I just eat you instead? I know how absolutely scrumptious you are.” Sweet talks Klaus in that compellingly sly voice of his that absolutely drives you wild.

Biting your bottom lip, you contemplate taking him up on that implied offer just as another pang of hunger curls in your body. “I’m thinking cheap frozen pizza. How about you hot-stuff? And anyways, what else you got going on?”

“Showing my girlfriend how much I love her on this fine day?”

“I like it, but wrong answer.” You reply with a smirk, “Now come on, let’s get some food so we can come back here and be lazy again.”

Klaus rolls his eyes, “Grrr fine. But only because I love you.”

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Wed 2 June ‘21

Louis sent a message to a fan looking for a hello after a major surgery-- “Get well soon mate. Sending you loads of love x”- and added that he hopes ALL of us are doing alright; I never doubted it Louis! Niall got a little more specific with his really lovely message today- “HAPPY PRIDE MONTH, BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. It’s your life, LOVE who you want to LOVE,” he tweeted! THANKS GUYS.

Liam though, Liam was all over today! He checked in on his way to play golf, on his way back from playing golf (with videographer Conor!), posted comments on discord, joined a new chat platform (Telegram; 5 minutes into Telegram and chill Liam was like OKAY it looks like we may need some moderators for this app lol YOU THINK?), he did a whole 25 min live, AND checked in even later to say he’d just had a shower and was about to play a new video game! New news of the day-- he is going to host a Veeps show showcasing new artists in July!! NEAT! His post about how his team forgot to turn off notifications on the phone they set it all up on for him on is really funny, YIKES; “this used to be an iphone now it’s just a bell” he joked, with video of the phone frantically chiming nonstop (“the power of you guys still blows my mind to this day”.) Also he said that he was very busy getting ready for June 15. Why, you ask, what is on June 15? UH? IDK?? He has so many things coming up? But that’s the NFT I think, which I KNOW a lot of people are mostly not that excited about but I will say that while I don’t care about the technology, I am excited to see Liam’s artwork he’s working on for it (which hopefully the purchaser will share with us), and Liam is truly so excited about the platform, he’s really trying to talk us into it. More on that in a sec...

But let’s get to the other parts of Liam’s live first. He has that new song coming, about which he said “it’s one that I’ve written the most on so far actually, as a single, I’m excited to say my own stuff for once a little”, love that. He’s still coughing but says he’s tested repeatedly and it isn’t COVID, and that he’s gone vegetarian recently, and he says the chat channels were inspired by seeing people using the veeps chat rooms even after the show ended, not wanting to leave. And he talks about 1D- about the notifs mishap he said “back in the band we used to wait for people we didn’t like to leave their notifications on and then we would like- oh make sure you follow this person on twitter! And then their phone would break for days- if someone did something that annoyed you.” HAHAHA where’s my masterpost of people who annoyed them 1D told us to follow, PLEASE? And also “it’s hard sometimes you’re watching people stories from afar that you used to know so well and that can be difficult… we’ve all felt this at different times me and the boys… it’s almost like missing a very dear friend a lot of the time but everyone’s so busy… I’d love to get us all in a room somewhere sometime” aww. But also he said he talked to Harry recently, “really a lovely call, he has a sixth sense for if I'm struggling or if one of us is in trouble, I spoke to him and it was a really lovely catch up. I have a lot of love for the man, he's really, really great"; well I wish Liam wasn’t stuggling but that’s lovely. And Louis too! "I spoke to Louis, I wanna say yesterday. We speak a lot, there's just a lot of laughing about random crap," he said, plus some Louis memories- “I can just hear his laugh in the back of my mind. We once broke into one of the stadiums in America and got chased by a woman… on one of those cop type things, a mall cop thing, and that was quite crazy. He also left me on my own while I was being arrested nearly by a French policemen that I had to push over… which that still scares me to this day. [laughing] That’s what friends are for! I helped him over the fence to get in somewhere, he left me with the policeman, who didn’t have a clue who I was and tried to arrest me even though I was just trying to go into my hotel.” UMM sorry I can’t hear anything past LIAM PUSHED OVER A COP?? Go ahead, make a list of ‘1D members most likely to fight a cop’ and if Liam isn’t DEAD LAST you’re just wrong and yet HERE WE ARE!! WHAT A DAY.

But alas rather than fighting cops now Liam is partnering with an entrepreneur (which I have had to type so many times in the last two days thanks to Liam that I guess I know how to spell it now they just keep SAYING it SO MUCH). Steve Bartlett said “the secret” is out, he recorded a podcast with Liam yesterday-- I’d call secret a bit strong, we had actually got that mate, but okay; he called Liam an entrepreneur and said “yesterday I recorded one of the most powerful, honest, REAL conversations on my podcast to date” and “if you love Liam you’ll love this.” I can absolutely guarantee you that is not true, I love Liam and already hate everything about this collab, but his wording does make me think we’ll get a bit of Liam’s trademark emotional spillage which I suppose I might appreciate despite this self help CEO guy being there too. Liam does have one thing to say that could sway me in this guy’s favor though- “he has the cutest dog ever” apparently! Anyway I may as well get used to him he’s suddenly everywhere-- Liam also patched him into his live to try yet again to convince us that NFTs are good by awkwardly relating it to “fans of boybands” by saying you know this could eliminate like fake tickets and such… Sure Steve sure but anyway he also says of Liam, “the guy you see on camera is the exact same guy off camera”.

Harry and Olivia were seen together in London (well, a grainy ass video of their backs was seen anyway), walking, with some people who look to be her parents and Harry’s PA (so romantic! Not at all work related!) I was initially skeptical of the claim that it was her parents since this fandom is obsessed with saying everyone is so and so’s parents (we’ll NEVER top the time the fandom was sure Harry was seen having lunch with Eleanor’s father though) but it actually seems like maybe it was. More for Harry to add to his collection, that man truly loves an extended family! I mean the whole thing is sketchy as hell, from the assurance that that’s DEFINITELY actually Olivia in the grainy video, FOR SURE, to the confirmation that that’s her mom with them which came when a blank insta page produced a random old picture of her mom in the same skirt, but like is it them, sure I imagine so, and people making sure we get the story anytime they’re together isn’t exactly new. In other news, Dave Meyers, director of the Adore You music video, says he originally pitched the Eroda story idea (“I have this idea, of you love- liking a fish”) to Katy Perry and the Black Eyed Peas, ASJKJASKL CAN YOU IMAGINE?

[miekasa]

winter break/skiing au with eren

↯ pairing: eren jaeger x (fem) reader

↯ genres and warnings: modern au (college), fluff, eren is an idiot but we all knew that, and yes i do think he’d probably be a good snowboarder or athlete in general tbh

↯ word count: 2.7k lol and it’s not even written out like a fic

↯ notes: this is based off of a request i got for meeting eren at a ski lodge. heads up i know next to nothing about skiing or any related sport, so bear with me on this. also this formatting is... headcanonish but also fic like?? in an alternate timeline, i could write this out as a fic, but my lack of knowledge about the subject + me wanting to try this format out resulted in this!

If he’s being completely honest, Eren wasn’t ecstatic to be going on this skiing trip with his friends in the first place, but he didn’t have much choice, seeing as he didn’t want to be the only one left behind for winter break.

Not to mention he’s a shit skier. He’s fine with a snowboard, so he wouldn’t be stuck on the bunny hills for a week, but that didn’t mean he was happy about it. After all, he was pushing to go somewhere warm for break. You know, since it was already freezing cold at home.

Nevertheless, he sucks it up for the sake of his friends’ happiness (and because he was severely outnumbered. Also because Armin had never been skiing and Eren really wanted to record him falling face first into the snow at some point).

As expected, it’s fucking freezing by the time they make it to the lodge, but at least Jean—resident organizer of this trip—had gotten them a pretty nice cabin with central heating, and a fireplace. It’s more of a house that they’re renting really, with enough rooms for the six of them.

Unfortunately the rooms were not soundproof so he was subject to hearing Jean and Connie staying up until the crack of dawn, and Mikasa throwing pillows at Sasha telling her to shut the fuck up. But at least he got to room with Armin, so it wasn’t all bad. 

Eren spends the first day just chilling around, still warming up to the idea of the trip (and warming up physically, because fuck is it cold here). The lodge itself has main, communal buildings with indoor activities—a game room, indoor pools, hot tubs, a buffet, the whole nine yards—that he spends time exploring.

He’s heading down to the indoor pool with Armin and Jean in tow, the rest of his friends opting to head upstairs for dinner first after their day of skiing; and that’s where he sees you. And, not to sound like a lovestruck idiot, but Eren thinks you might be the prettiest person he’s ever seen in his life.

In a cliche moment, he catches you as your head reemerges from out of the water, face dripping wet with pool water as you tread in your spot. Eren looks stupid—big, green eyes wide as hell and a little bit of a gap between his lips.

Jean has to smack him upside the head to get him walking again, mumbling about how Eren looks like the literal heart eyes emoji to which Eren simply pushes the taller boy into the water.

He looks back to spot you again (in a non-creepy manner of course), when a voice calls out your name—he’s presuming, by the way your turn your head.

“You’ll turn into a prune if you stay in any longer,” a short man with dark hair calls to you, a towel around his shoulder his mostly dry body, save for his swimming shorts that are still damp, “Come on, I don’t want get the shit end of the stick at the buffet.”

The short man’s words seem to make you chuckle, and a little reluctantly, you swim to the edge of the pool, taking his hand to get out of the water. Eren frowns a bit watching the interaction. You and the short man seem close—there go his chances of… well, he’s not sure exactly… uh… talking to you, maybe?

Whatever it was, you might already have a boyfriend, and from the way the rest of, who Eren is again presuming to be, your friends walk with you to the exit, it doesn’t seem like he’d ever find you alone again.

Oh well. He sighs, trying not to think much of it, and enjoy his time in the pool. (He fucking doesn’t because Jean gets his revenge and pushes him in the deep and even Armin his him with a pool noodle. Traitor).

Day two he’s finally going to to the slopes. On his way up in the lift, he can see Sasha and Connie stumbling down the hill while Jean laughs behind them, and Eren only shakes his head.

Yeah, maybe they shouldn’t have taken Sasha, Connie, and Armin with them on the advanced hills, but it was so much more fun this way. Although, to his credit, Armin was catching on quickly (no thanks to Eren or Jean; that was all Mikasa’s teachings).

Eren lets Mikasa work her magic with Armin. He straps on his helmet and goggles, and heads down first. It’s been a while since he’s snowboarded, but he’s still pretty damn good if he does say so himself. He even tries out a few old tricks and—not to brag—but sticks his landing every time.

Halfway down the slope, he can feel someone else boarding beside him—and he doesn’t think much of it, until they replicate his previous flip, landing a just a little in front of him.

Eren can’t see the person through their goggles, but from the way they look back at him before pushing forward, he can tell that they wanted a challenge. And who is Eren to turn down a little friendly competition?

The descent continues on with Eren and his mystery partner not-so-subtly flexing their own skills. Eren copies their flips and turns, and is amazed as he watches them copy his in return. 

He decides to kick it up a notch, swerving over to a small snow rap, to use the height it gives him to pull off his signature move—yes it’s called the Jaegerbomb, yes he did come up with it when he was eleven, and no he doesn’t regret because it’s still sick as fuck, shutup Zeke.

He sticks his landing, perfectly timed with the end of the slope, pushing his board forward to completely stop himself. He turns around, lifting his goggles, to give his copycat a smug look, when, to his surprise, he sees them pulling off something almost equally as impressive, and probably more complex before they land. 

Eren’s got the same stupid, starstruck look on his face as he did in the pool, as he watching their momentum come to a stop a little ways downhill from him, because, fuck if that wasn’t the coolest thing he’s ever seen.

Immediately, they’re surrounded by two other bodies, both of which sing their praises, probably for that last move. Eren knows he would. It’s only after your goggles are pushed up over your helmet and your turn around that Eren realizes its you! The girl from the pool.

If he was awestruck before, it’s nothing compared how he’s feeling now. No way you were the same person! But, he has to admit, if we were gonna get crushed by anybody on the slopes, he’s glad it was a pretty girl.

To his surprise, you make your way over to him after unbuckling from your board, and Eren has to quickly shake the stupid look off of his face.

“I guess I lost our race back there,” you say with a smile, cloudy air falling from your lips from the cold, “But I just wanted to tell you that your last flip was really cool! It must have taken you forever to master that.”

For the first time since arriving, Eren’s glad it’s cold as shit, because now at least he has a coverup for the redness creeping onto his cheeks. With a nervous chuckle, he finally responds, “Yeah, I’ve, uh, kinda been working on it since I was eleven.”

“Well it definitely payed off, I’ve never seen anything like it,” you cheer, and Eren is really considering passing out right now, but that would not be cool. Very uncool. So he doesn’t. “Have you been boarding that long?”

“Yeah! I mean, well, I’m only 21, so I guess not that long,” Eren says with a nervous chuckle, “Well—uh, I guess, like, ten years is a long time, but I—I used to snowboard more often when I was little with my family, then, um, you know college got in the way in stuff… haha… yeah.”

Okay, fine, Eren has never been the smoothest guy in the world, but he’s usually not this awkward either. But can you really blame him?—between your looks, and your skills, and the fact that you actually came over to initiate and carry out a conversation with him, he was a goner from the start.

“I’m Eren, by the way,” he continues, hoping to cover up his awkward stuttering, “And, uh, you must have been doing this for a while too? Your last move was sick, I’ve never seen anything like it!”

“(Y/N),” you respond with a smile. Luckily for him, you don’t seem completely turned off by his awkward demeanor, still as bubbly as ever. “Not really… well, kind of? Maybe a few years at this point, but my teacher’s been a real hardass, so I learned to pick up on things pretty quick unless I wanted to get turned into a human snowball,” you tell him, turning your shoulder a bit to point back at your friends, “If you think what I did was good, you gotta see Levi—he’s the short one yelling at the one with the pigtails. He taught me everything I know.”

Eren recognizes Levi as the shorter man who helped you out of the pool yesterday. He deflates a little—he’d kind of forgotten about him, and he isn’t too happy to be reminded of him again.

“Oh, I see,” Eren nods, glancing over at Levi once more, “He must be a pretty good teacher.”

“When he’s not throwing snowballs as a learning tool, yeah he is,” you laugh, “Anyways, I actually wanted to ask if you wanted to go at it again sometime. I don’t know how long you’re, uh, staying or anything, but racing with you was fun. Even if you did get a bit of a head start.”

“I’m here for the week, actually,” Eren’s eyes practically shine at the hint of competitiveness in your voice. He loves to be challenged, after all. “But I don’t mind giving it a go right now, if you’re going up again?”

Eren has to stop himself from grinning like an idiot when you accept his invitation. He thinks he’s finally in the clear when he hears the short man—Levi—call out your name again.

To his surprise, you beckon Eren along with you, and you introduce him to Levi formally. Levi has to look up to look at Eren, but Eren’s the one who shrinks under his gaze; an embarrassed flush creeping up his neck. Damn, your teacher (friend, too? not boyfriend, apparently, though?) is intimidating as hell, how on Earth do you take lessons from him without buckling in fear??

You point to your other friends—Isabel and Farlan—who are standing a little further away. The former of whom is attempting to make a snow angel while the blonde is enthusiastically recording and taking pictures of the events.

After introducing the two, you ask Levi if he wants to up the hill with the both you again (and no, Eren doesn’t pout when you extend the offer to him—he’s really working on this keeping his feelings in check and being a rational thinker and all that and if you ask him it’s paying off), to which Levi declines (thank god).

Not even because Eren would be bummed if you didn’t get that he wanted to spend some more time alone with you not just to snowboard, but also because he knows he’d fall flat on his face in front of Levi, and then he’d probably have to hide in shame for the rest of his trip.

“Looks like it’s just us then,” you smile at him, “Okay, we can head back up—I’m just gonna ask Isabel to trade gloves with me real quick, yeah? And steal a heat pack from her.”

Eren doesn’t know if he should follow you over to Isabel, so he kind of shuffles around where he’s standing, a few feet next to Levi. (And damn, is it just Eren or is it suddenly 50 degrees colder next to this man).

Eren’s avoiding eye contact and small talk—and subsequently avoiding any bubbling feelings or irrational false suspicions about Levi. Also, he sucks at small talk.

It’s Levi who lets out an exasperated sigh first, not even bothering to turn to face Eren before bluntly saying, “She’s single.”

Eren’s eyes go wide and he’s sputtering in embarrassment—also because Levi said it so loudly, what if you heard??—but he’s cut off again before he can even speak: “Don’t even try it, Farlan and I saw you drooling over her at the pool, too.”

Well, now Eren’s certain that the blush on his face and neck are not from the cold, but from his complete and utter humiliation. “Well, I, uh, I didn’t mean to—”

“You don’t seem to be too great at this, so I’ll take pity on you and tell you she likes you, too. Or likes you enough, at least,” Levi continues.

“I—she does?” Eren blurts. Okay, now he’s probably being too loud.

“She talked to you didn’t she,” Levi says, but the question comes out as more of a deadpan observation, “Look if she asks you about anything while you’re up there—or better yet, asks you to teach her anything, just take it as an opening, alright kid? Trust me, there’s nothing you can do that she can’t.”

Ouch. Eren reasons that Levi is probably right, he’s only seen you board once but you’re pretty incredibly but, still.

Wait does that mean you really were flirting with him before?? You’re actually interested in him???

He hears you calling out to him, and sees you waving, gesturing towards the lifts with a new pair of bright blue mittens on, and Eren barely has the coherency to wave back (stupidly, slowly, lovestruck, like an idiot).

Levi watches the exchange with a bored look on his face. He sighs audibly this time, untucking his arms from where they were crossed over his chest to pick up the snowboard at his feet. “Cabin 24C, east wing. Bring her back after dinner,” he says, hoisting the board under his arm before walking towards Farlan and Isbael.

Eren doesn’t even have time to ask him anymore questions—plus you’ve started walking towards the lifts and he’s obviously not going to leave you hanging.

He doesn’t and your little ski-lift, snowboarding kind of date goes well, even if he’s positive you did take it easy on him.

You’re the one to ask him to go up one more time, when Eren remembers Levi’s advice and finally musters up the courage to ask: “Actually, I’m a little hungry—do you, uh, maybe wanna head inside for dinner? If you’re still up to, we can come back later.”

And when the evening is over and Eren’s gotten your number, he does in fact walk you back to your lodge with your friends, and he thinks that even Levi gave him a look of approval before slamming the door in his face.

(It wasn’t really approval, so much as he’s impressed Eren had the balls and critical thinking skills to actually ask you out in the end. But it’s fine because Farlan and Isabel both loudly told him how happy they were to see you’d scored a date with ‘emerald eyes from the pool’).

Mikasa and Armin are less than impressed when Eren comes back to his own lodge at damn near midnight after having not answered any of their calls all day, but Eren thinks it was worth it, even if he does have a bruise from Armin poking him in the side with his ski poles.

Eren meets you at the slopes every day for the rest of the week, ignoring Jean and Connie’s claims about him being a simp. So what if he is? He’s the one snowboarding and sipping hot chocolate with the pretty girl from pool at the end of the day isn’t he?

He learns that the both of you attend the same university, but are in almost opposite programs. That makes sense, Eren thinks, because he surely would have remembered seeing you on campus before.

You even get along with his friends really well, even if you only get the opportunity to meet them once at the lodge. Eren is more than impressed, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen Mikasa warm up to someone so quickly. 

He thinks he’s pretty successful at meeting your friends, too. Isabel and Farlan continually reassure him that you do in fact have a crush on him (and maybe even persuade him try and kiss you before the week is over. Spoiler: he does, while it’s snowing and everything and it’s pretty damn great). 

On the last day of his trip, Eren takes you to the top of the hill with all his friends, and when you completely demolish Jean and leave him eating your dust, Eren thinks he might just be halfway in love with you already. 

[vintagedolan]

mixtape | track fourteen

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“Today’s lecture is on end of life. Death. Passing. However you want to refer to it, it’s about the process of a human being who was here, not being here anymore. And it’s particularly about your role in helping them go peacefully.”

Indy swallowed hard. 

The wound was still fresh. It didn’t matter that it was May. Bekah’s funeral could have been just yesterday. She could see the wood grain of the podium she’d delivered the eulogy at in front of her if she closed her eyes for a few seconds too long. 

Instead, she looked forward, found her professor in the front of the lecture hall. Dr. Ginn. A quirky woman, who seemed determined to live up to Indy’s first impression as she climbed onto her desk and sat with her clicker in her hand, legs criss-cross. 

“Now. Doctors and death, they don’t mix. If I had to guess, a doctor’s worst fear is death. They spend their whole lives fighting it. But nurses? We’re different.”

Indy liked the sound of we.

“For us, the priorities shift. As nurses, your job is just as much to push epi as it is to hold someone’s hand. And you are the one that makes that call. You are the last comfort that a lot of people have in their lives. You are the backbone for the family, for the friends who are there to say goodbye. And you are there to make sure your patient goes as peacefully as they can. That is the most important part of your job, hands down. And if that’s not something you can see yourself doing, then you need to rethink and probably change your career.”

The hall was silent apart from the clicking of laptop keys.

“Now. On that lovely note, let’s get started. A code blue, or as I call it, an ‘oh shit’...” 

A message notification appeared on the right corner of Indy’s screen as she opened her notes.

Coffee after class?

Indy smiled, and in lieu of listening for a moment, she let her mind wander back to February...

Grayson was really trying. But it was hard to break habits that he’d been so comfortable with since the first day that he met Indiana. It took so much mental effort to not hold her hand, to not brush her hair behind her ear - so much that Indy nudged him in the side as they walked.

“Where’d you go?”

“Sorry, just thinking.”

She had a good guess of what he was thinking about, or more specifically what he was waiting for.

An answer.

Indy could hear Nicole in her mind, telling her to be careful, to be careful with her heart. She thought of what her mother would say if she met Grayson as she walked beside him on the sidewalk. It kept her mind busy until they got to the familiar door that Grayson pulled open for her. If nothing else made sense, at least there was always Jet’s, with it’s comforting constant vanilla smell and that favorite blue chair that Indy beelined for while Gray went to the counter. 

Patrick looked ready to commit murder when he realized who was ordering, but Indy shot him a smile from across the store that softened him up just enough for Grayson to make it out with their coffees unscathed. 

“So he definitely hates my guts,” Gray mumbled as he sat down, making sure his back was to the bar. 

“He’s a protective one, you know this,” Indy teased as she sipped her coffee. 

“How soon did you start working here again after… after I left.”

“I gave myself a couple days. I definitely wasn’t at my peak on my first day if that’s what you’re asking.” She let out a dry chuckle. 

“Did you start here or the hospital first?”

“Same time. The tech job kinda fell in my lap, and I needed the money for rent. I only really came back here so I could afford therapy. They have a benefits package for all their employees.”

Grayson froze, but his cup quivered in his hand as he shook.

“I… because of…”

“No, no no, not because of you. I mean, I did talk about the stuff going on with her cause we’ve been having sessions but I was planning on going since graduation. I wanted to get a handle on the whole flying thing.”

The reason went unspoken, and Grayson’s hands didn’t stop shaking, though his breathing came a bit easier. 

“Is it going okay?”

“Yeah, I think so. I mean, haven’t really been on a plane to test anything out. But I did better than I thought I would when you were flying out, considering. So that’s a good sign. And my therapist is really nice, we’re a pretty good match.” 

“Good. That’s good.” It wasn’t lost on him what it meant that she still cared that he was on a plane. Hope riled in his belly and he beat it back down as best he could. 

There was a lull that was filled with the sounds of coffee beans grinding until Indy spoke up again.

“What have you been up to out in LA?”

Grayson swallowed. He looked at her quickly, her soft smile that made him feel like he could tell her anything, no matter how embarrassing it was.

“Honestly? I did fuck all. I mean, I did the basics I guess, with the companies and stuff. But I kinda let the misery have me. You did a hell of a lot better than me, that’s for damn sure.”

“I wasn’t doing great, believe me.”

“But at least you were trying,” he sighed, running a hand over his face. “And I caused all this, I didn’t really have an excuse.”

“It’s in the past now. Nothing we can do to change it.”

“For the record, I wish I could. More than anything.”

“I know.”

“I really am sorry Dee. I know it’s not enough, but I am.”

“I know that too.”

The next beat of silence was painful, and it took a moment for Grayson to realize that it was now or never. 

“Remember how bad our first date went? How I had that whole plan that just totally didn’t work?”

“The thunderstorm. I remember.” It made her smile, and she could picture every frame of it, from the ocean hallway to the remnants of apple juice on his lips.

“And I told you I was gonna save the real date for later.”

Indy nodded.

“Could we… can I do it now? Can I take you on a date?”

The thought brought butterflies to Indy’s stomach, but she blamed it on the coffee.

“Yeah. Yeah, that would be nice. What did you have in mind?”

“I’ll show you. Technically Jet’s was first on the list anyways, but the next part is a surprise.”

With that, she stood up and followed him out into the street.

They started their walk separate, but it only took a moment for Indy to grab onto Grayson’s hand. He told himself it was out of necessity so they didn’t get split up in a feeble attempt to keep his hopes from getting away from him. Still, his stomach fluttered high above the pavement as they enjoyed the setting sun and willfully ignored the chill of the wind whipping around the buildings of the city. Eventually, his plan unfolded when they reached the entrance of the Highline. It was one of Indy’s favorite places in the city, but she knew she’d never told Grayson that. He just knew her well enough it seemed. 

They walked in peaceful silence for a while, hands squeezed tight against one another’s despite the lull in the foot traffic.

Indy smiled at their luck when they finally found an empty bench with a nice view of the skyline. She tugged Grayson over to it and kept her eyes forward for a moment before she looked over at him. His eyes were on the sky, skin flushed pink from the pigment on the clouds or the chill of the wind, she couldn’t tell. It didn’t matter. He was beautiful, and he was hers if she wanted him.

Across the walkway, a young girl walked with her mom, who had a baby carrier strapped to her chest with a head of fuzzy hair just visible within it. The mom was rushing it seemed, and Indy realized the baby was crying loudly, sharp wails that became more audible as they passed by. The girl was dragging a small lion stuffed animal behind her, and Grayson watched as it slipped out of her hands and onto the concrete. 

“Joey! Momma, momma I dropped Joey! Joey!” The girl cried out, but her mom continued to tug her along as she reached back for her lion. 

Grayson was on his feet before Indy could say a word, jogging by and scooping up the small stuffed animal. He politely tapped the mother on the shoulder to get her to stop, then squatted down to the girl.

“Is this Joey?”

She nodded, her eyes brimming with tears as she held her hand out for her toy. He passed it over slowly with a smile.

“Hold on tight to him okay?”

“Okay mister,” she said, voice high and quiet.

And right then, Indy saw everything she ever wanted. She saw her kids, with Grayson’s hair and Grayson’s eyes and Grayson’s laugh, she could see him carrying them up to bed, see him dancing with a little girl standing on his toes in their kitchen somewhere, see him passing her a little stuffed animal. She could see him in every facet of the future she hadn’t let herself imagine since he’d left, but her fantasies came rushing back so fast it felt like she was floating.

As if she could ever want anyone else.

She reached over for his hand as he walked back over, intertwining their fingers and letting him sit down before she finally spoke.

“I love this city. I love this city so much. It’s always been all I really needed.” 

Grayson felt lightheaded as he prepared himself for what she was going to say. 

“I know,” was all he could say.

Indy took a deep breath and turned towards Grayson with a soft smile. She could see the apprehension in his eyes as he waited for her to say something else.

“Did I tell you that Devin came to see me while you were gone?”

He shook his head. 

“He came to check on me, since I wasn’t answering anyone.”

Grayson’s throat was tight as he pictured it in his head, the guilt overwhelming him. He reached over and squeezed her knee - a silent apology. 

“He helped me figure out that I want to go into nursing, helped me get my head on straight.”

“He’s a smart guy,” Grayson said quietly. 

“He told me I need to go for what I want. ‘Ask yourself what you really want the rest of your life to look like, and then do whatever you have to to get there’. That’s what he said. And I thought that’s what I was doing. I was going after a PhD, and my life in New York, and all these things I always wanted. Things I thought were really important. But they aren’t.”

He frowned. “Dee, your dreams are important.” 

“I know, I know, and I’m not saying I’m giving up on that. I just mean my priorities I guess. I had them twisted, and I was missing the most important thing.” 

She smiled his favorite smile as he tried to swallow.

He couldn’t make himself ask, just in case he was wrong, but she put him out of his misery after a moment.

“You. You’re the most important thing.” 

She was suddenly blurry as his eyes filled with tears.

“I’ve never been good at change, but you’re worth it to me. If being with you means spending less time in New York, then it’s worth it. And I’m sorry if I ever made it seem like you weren’t.” She was crying too, and Grayson lifted his free hand to her cheek, wiping each tear with his thumb.

“Never. You never made me feel like that. I was the one that ran, because I never wanted you to feel like you ever had to give up anything for me.” 

“Because you don’t realize that you’re worth giving things up for. You don’t realize how worth loving you are.”

He was fully crying now, a broken laugh making it’s way past his lips.

“Does that mean you still love me?”

She smiled.

“Never stopped.”

And she kissed him, and all was right in the world again for a moment. It didn’t matter that there were people walking by, and that their cheeks were wet from their tears. They were kissing and that meant that everything would be okay.

Any stranger that walked by surely had to feel the relief in the air when they pulled back and realized they could lean right back in without a single care in the world. He let go of her hand only to move it to her other cheek, to hold her steady there cradled in his palms as she kissed him between smiles - his whole world in his hands.

In that moment, he wanted more than anything to love her loud. 

He pulled back just enough to bring her up to her feet and then his arms were wrapped around her waist, spinning her around until she was breathless and the city was a blur behind both their eyes. And for the first time that he could remember in too many years to count, he didn’t care who could hear him, and he didn’t care who was watching. 

“I love you,” he said. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too. I missed you.”

Being back in each other’s arms was as easy as breathing. She didn’t stray an inch from his side, soaking in the warmth of his body next to hers as they made their way down from the highline as the city started to light up. By the time they made it home her toes were numb from the cold but her cheeks were still warm, seeing that every time they had to wait for a crosswalk Grayson ducked down to kiss her again.

When they got to the lobby, Grayson squeezed her hand.

“I gotta get something out of the truck, I’ll be right back.”

“You want me to wait here or head on up?”

He pondered it for a minute.

“Wait for me.”

She nodded. She always waited for him, after all. 

He disappeared out of the glass doors at a jog and Indy heard a chuckle from the side of the lobby. She looked over to see the receptionist smiling down at her computer. Indy prided herself on being a very low maintenance tenant, but she still smiled and waved to the woman behind the counter whenever she passed by. Her name tag read Cara in neat white letters. 

“Sorry if we were loud,” Indy said sheepishly. Cara laughed. 

“Just happy to see you smiling that’s all. I’m glad he’s back.”

Indy blushed bright red before she answered. “Yeah. Me too.”

Grayson was slightly winded when he came back, and he was grateful for the long elevator ride as he held the small gift bag in his hand. Indy pretended she didn’t see it like her mom had always taught her to when she received a gift. Still, her eyes flickered to it each time she knew she could get away with it, her curiosity getting the better of her. 

When they finally got inside the apartment he led her over to the living room by the hand and passed her the bag.

“I didn’t know how today was going to go, but I wanted you to have this either way. Figured you could put it on your shelf. When you’re ready.”

Indy pulled the tissue paper out and saw the rose gold edge of a picture frame. She pulled it out and her breath caught in her throat.

“Oh.”

Bekah was smiling. 

It warmed the whole image in a way that had Indy’s eyes burning as she tried to place the day. She was curled up on the bed next to Beks, but she wasn’t looking at the camera. Instead, she was looking at the girl beside her. Her little sister in a way, who was tucked away under her halloween blanket. 

“That’s the night we had the word search tournament, and you both schooled me,” Grayson explained quietly, wrapping an arm around her waist and squeezing at her hip under her sweatshirt. She remembered then, noticed the activity book in the corner of the picture. 

“I didn’t even know you took this.”

“I know you like pictures, I meant to take more of you guys. But I like her smile in this one. Yours too.”

Indy sniffled and leaned her head back onto Grayson’s shoulder. “You’ve made me cry twice now you know.”

He kissed her temple and moved a hand to her forearm.

S-O-R-R-Y

He drew a heart afterwards, and even invisible on her skin she could tell it was lopsided. It made her smile, and she soaked in the feeling of him next to her for a moment before she spun around to kiss him. 

“Thank you,” she whispered against his lips before pulling him in for a tight hug that had her up on her tiptoes when he wrapped her up. They held each other for a moment before Indy got an idea.

“I have something for you too. Wait here.”

Grayson kept his hands on her waist, thumbs rubbing over her skin underneath her sweatshirt. 

“Stay,” he pouted.

“It’ll just take a second, I promise. Just wait here.”

She kissed him quickly just because she could and disappeared into the bedroom, pulling the door closed behind her. 

He lasted about 45 seconds before he was picking at his fingernails. Then he was taking a few steps towards the door, fighting the urge to stick his ear up to it to see if he could get a hint at what she was doing. 

Another minute passed, and he felt like he was going to lose it.

“Indyyyy,” he whined. “You’re killin’ me babe.”

“You’re so dramatic oh my god it’s been like a minute tops.”

“One minute too long,” he teased just in hopes of making her laugh. It warmed his heart to hear it, even muffled through the door. It still felt like an eternity before she finally reappeared with her hands behind her back. 

“You know, you didn’t need to get me anything. Having you back is more than I deserve already.”

Indy’s laugh was louder this time since she was right in front of him.

“Who knew a Jersey boy could be so damn sappy,” she teased. “I don’t have a frame or anything, but here.”

She pulled out a piece of paper and passed it to him quickly, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet while she waited for him to read it. It felt like an eternity while she watched his eyes scan over the letters, seemingly missing the UCLA logo in the top corner.

“Did you… are you reading? Did you see it?”

Grayson looked up with a smile and drew a circle in the air around his face.

“Dyslexic,” he reminded her gently.

She bit her lip and tried her hardest to be patient, waiting until his brows furrowed in confusion.

“Wait… wait. What is this? UCLA? Nursing?” He looked up at her cautiously, trying to keep his excitement in check in case he’d misread. “What is this?”

“Well. There’s a lot of good nursing programs out there. And LA has some top notch hospitals too. Especially pediatric ones. Figured it couldn’t hurt to apply, and they’ve got a pretty good tuition coverage package, it’s close to your house, and-”

Grayson’s lips were on hers, his excitement palpable.

She kissed him back with a smile, relieved to finally tell someone about the grand plan she’d made in her head now that all the pieces had come together. 

“You’re sure?”

Indiana smiled. “You’re worth it. You’re what I want, forever.”

He kissed her again, making up for lost time and telling her everything he couldn’t find the words for. They walked backwards until the back of his legs hit the couch and she ended up crawling onto his lap, beaming down at him when they finally broke apart.

“You’re actually coming to LA. We’re gonna live there.”

“Guess I gotta start apartment shopping,” she mused.

Grayson rolled his eyes. “Shut up and c’mere.” 

He bailed them to the side until Indy was fully on top of him.

“I’ll build you a shelf for our bedroom. Fuck, I’ll build you 50 shelves as soon as we get there. Wait when do classes start, when do you have to move?”

“You’re cute when you’re excited,” she hummed, leaning down to kiss him again. It was slow and purposeful, warm in that familiar way as they remembered each other fully. “We’ll figure it all out,” Indy said eventually, scooting down his torso until her head could rest comfortably on his chest. She listened to his heart beat, a bit fast from either her presence or the coffee, she couldn’t tell. Either way, it was still her favorite sound, and as his hand moved through her hair gently, she knew she’d made the right choice, no matter where it took her. 

3 months later, the place it took her was the passenger seat of Grayson’s brand new tesla, which was delightfully cool despite the warmth of the incoming summer making the LA air dry and warm. Grayson held out a hand for her to pass her backpack, tossing it into the backseat as if it wasn’t weighed down with three textbooks. She pulled the door closed behind her and let her head rest back against the seat for a moment before she turned to him.

“Hi.”

He beamed, leaning over the console to give her a quick kiss. “Hey. Good day?”

“Long day, but yeah, it was fine. Got a shit ton of assignments per usual.”

“Hey, three day weekend next week though, and we’re going to New York. What’d you learn?”

“Oh you know, the usual. Meds, codes, diseases, death. Truly uplifting stuff.”

He reached his hand over to her thigh, rubbing circles with his thumb as his other hand moved the wheel effortlessly, pulling back out onto the road.

“Still want coffee? You didn’t answer.”

“Do I ever say no to coffee?”

“Fair points. Text E squared and see if they want anything.”

“They weren’t home?”

“No, they ran to the store, but they should be back by the time we get there.”

“If Eden went to Target without me I’m gonna be pissed,” Indy mumbled halfheartedly, typing out the text in their group chat quickly. “You know she’s gonna say she wants Jet’s.”

“Believe me I know, just ask Ethan. You’ve created a monster. We’ve gotta start asking Patrick to send beans in bulk or something, we go through them so fast now that she drinks it too.”

Indy just laughed and turned up the radio, unsurprised to hear Cudi from Grayson’s playlist he’d made for their car rides. It was routine now for him to pick her up from class, save her from the hassle of trying to find parking on campus. And it gave them some more alone time considering they lived with Ethan and Eden at the house. So, it wasn’t abnormal for Grayson to happily add 20 minutes to the drive to pick up coffee on the way home. Purdy’s was right down the street after all, and though their lattes weren’t quite as perfect as Jet’s, they held their own. 

“We should buy Patrick some fancy beans somewhere and take them with us next weekend,” Grayson mused. 

“You’re such a suck up, it’s not like he’s giving us free coffee,” Indy laughed. “You’re just still scared of him.”

“Fuck yeah I am! Every time we’ve gone home he looks like he wants to straight up murder me.”

She reached over to hold his cheek for a moment as she bit back her laugh.

“Baby. Patrick can barely lift a 50 pound box of syrup. Believe it or not, I think you could take him.”

He rolled his eyes but the comment wasn’t lost on his ego, especially when his girl leaned over to wrap her arm around his bicep and rest her cheek on it, enjoying the feeling of his bare skin left behind by his tank top. They ordered through the drive thru, surprised when neither Eden or Ethan responded to them. The car was peaceful, even more so when Grayson put it on autopilot and gave Indy more of his attention, trying to ease the stress he could feel coming off of her like it always did when she got out of class. 

“Tell me about your lecture,” he said, hoping talking it through would help her.

She sipped on her coffee as she spoke, starting without many details but eventually going more in depth as she got more excited. It was one of Grayson’s favorite parts of listening to her talk about the things she cared about, and even though half of the information went right over his head he listened intently anyways, tried to take it all in as the car drove them home.

By the time they pulled into the driveway, Indy’s coffee was gone along with her stress, and Grayson knew all the steps to running a code blue. He hopped out first, grabbing her bag from the backseat and slinging it over his shoulder as they headed to the front door.

The first sign that something was different was the quiet of the house. Any other time that E squared was left alone, Grayson and Indy would come back to the speakers blaring, a scary movie on the living room TV, or the distant sound of a headboard knocking against the wall. 

But it was dead silent, and the pair looked at each other before they scanned the room. 

“They’re up to something,” Indy muttered, peaking around the wall to make sure Ethan wasn’t going to scare them. 

“For sure. Something is off with Ethan, just don’t know what it is.”

“Oh, you got a feeling huh?” Indy teased, bumping him with her elbow. He took her waist in his hands and pulled her back against him, making her laugh as he tickled her and buried his face in her neck. He never got tired of having her so close - it was just as intoxicating as the first time. 

“Sorry you don’t understand the twin connection.” 

“Well, use your psychic powers to figure out where the fuck they are then.”

He closed his eyes for dramatic effect, smiling when it got the laugh he wanted out of her. Just as he lifted his fingers to his temple, a bang sounded from the backdoor, making Indy squeal and cling onto Grayson. He went to move her behind him until he saw the culprit - a tennis ball bouncing away across the yard.

“You’re okay, it’s just E,” Grayson breathed, relaxing and moving towards the door to find where his brother was hiding. They walked into the backyard hand in hand, following the sound of music coming from the pool, which was finally finished in the back corner of the property. 

Ethan was at the entrance, his biggest smile on his face as he waited for them to get closer. Impatient as ever, he started walking towards them, meeting them halfway across the grass. 

“Took you guys long enough to get home. We bought new stuff for the pool, come look at it.”

“E, bro, I told you not to buy random shit on your own,” Grayson grumbled, obviously weary of his brother’s interior design skills.

“Eden was with him,” Indy reminded him at a whisper.

“Just come on,” Ethan said, grabbing onto his brother’s hand and starting to drag him towards the pool.

“Jesus bro, calm down.”

Ethan ignored him, looking to make sure Grayson was bringing Indy along too until they made it around the corner where the small pool was in view.

“Surprise!” Ethan beamed, holding his hand out towards the water. Beside it on the concrete were some new additions.

Four loungers, a beautiful teal color with rounded contour that looked perfect for tanning. In fact, Eden was on one of them sprawled out in her bathing suit, and she looked so comfortable that Indy barely noticed the miniature fifth chair next to her at the end of the line up. 

Brain fried from class, it took Indy a moment to piece it together.

5 chairs. 4 people. One smaller than the rest.

“No way,” she gasped, hand coming up to cover her mouth. “Eden no way!”

Indy was already moving towards her best friend before she could get to her feet, ignoring Grayson’s confused calls of “what? huh?” from behind her.

“Yes way,” Eden sniffled, a nervous laugh coming through as she put a hand over her stomach.

“How far along? When did you find out?”

“A couple days ago, we went to the doctor to find out for sure this morning. She said we’re about 7 weeks.”

Indy pulled her in for a hug. 

“Wait. Wait.” Grayson was yelling now, catching on with no doubt a few hints from Ethan. “Holy fuck. Holy fuck, you’re pregnant?! She’s PREGNANT?!” He grabbed his brother’s face with both hands and shook him just barely. 

“I’m gonna be a fucking dad,” Ethan said, and Indy melted when she realized he was about to cry.

“You’re gonna be a fucking dad,” Grayson repeated, shaking him twice more before he pulled him in for the tightest hug Indy had ever seen them share. The girls watched them for a moment before Indy turned her attention back to Eden.

“How are you feeling with all this?”

“Well I’ve just started having morning sickness, my appetite has been super weird, vegan cheese makes me want to straight up die…”

“Right right, but I mean like… mentally. You okay? This is a big change.”

Even just standing there, the boy's excitement was slightly overwhelming, especially with Grayson literally running around yelling about being an uncle. She was sure that Ethan had been excited from the moment of a positive test.

“A very big change that we weren’t really expecting,” Eden said quietly, looking down at her manicured toes. 

“How are you feeling about it?” Indy asked again, reaching out to hold her hand. Eden squeezed tightly.

“Honestly? I’m fucking terrified,” she admitted. “And Ethan’s been great, it’s not that, it’s just… there’s a human in me. Right now. Just chillin’ in there.”

“Yep, there do be a human in there,” Indy laughed at her bluntness. “What are you scared about?”

“Everything. I’m afraid I’m gonna do something that’s gonna hurt them. I don’t know shit about pregnancy, like real pregnancy, and don’t even get me started on trying to push this thing out of me.”

“We’ve got a while to figure all that out. And you aren’t going to do anything that’s going to hurt them. You’re a good mom.”

“Jesus, a mom. Ethan keeps saying that but it sounds different coming from a woman. A fucking mom. You’re gonna have to teach me all the medical stuff… wait actually no I don’t think I even want to know what’s going on in there. I’ll just focus on figuring out how the fuck I’m gonna be a mom.”

“You’ll be great. And you’ll have Ethan too. Those two were pretty much born to be dads,” Indy said. They turned and looked to see Grayson hauling Ethan up to sit on his shoulders before running what she assumed was a victory lap around the backyard.

“Yeah… remind me of that for the next nine months. Regularly.” 

They both started laughing and pulled in for another hug.

“I’m so happy for you,” Indy sighed with the warmest smile, images of baby showers and Eden’s bump and the office as a nursery already spinning through her mind. 

“Love you aunt… Indiana? Indy?”

Indy scrunched her nose. “We’ll have to work on that one,” she teased, taking her hand and leading her over to their boys, who were still somehow yelling.

They both came running, but Grayson was faster, scooping Eden up and spinning her around so fast that Ethan was immediately scolding him, urging him to be careful.

“She’s not that delicate bub, it’s okay,” Indy reassured him, getting up on her tiptoes to give Ethan a hug. He squeezed her tight and whispered in her ear.

“She okay? You guys are the first ones we’ve told.”

“Just a little scared, like all pregnant people are. Totally normal.”

“Good. I’m glad you know, she’s been dying to tell a girl. Only so much I can do.”

She leaned back with a smile. “You’re doing great already.” 

Those words meant more to Ethan than she would ever know, but all he could do was smile and head back over to Eden, a hand across her tummy when she leaned up against his side. 

“We’re gonna tell Li when we’re all home next weekend, but Eden’s parents are coming over for dinner in a little while and we’re gonna tell them now so we can do it in person,” Ethan explained, pressing a kiss to Eden’s hair. 

“We’ll make ourselves scarce for the evening,” Indy offered, sensing the nerves already rising for Eden. She’d have enough of an audience. 

“Okay but first we gotta get a picture of everybody, we’re gonna make an album of telling everybody.” Ethan was already moving as he spoke, setting his phone up on the patio table with the timer on. They all posed with Ethan pointing excitedly to Eden’s non-existent bump before they all headed back inside, still buzzing with excitement. 

Grayson stayed particularly close as they gathered around the island, his hand resting on Indy’s hip as they all settled after a few moments. They all helped to straighten up the house in preparation for Eden’s family’s arrival, and Grayson appeared behind Indiana with a smile as she placed a blanket over the back of the couch.

“Date night?”

Indy had lost count of how many dates they’d been on, but those words never failed to make her stomach swirl.

“What’d you have in mind?”

“Well, I know you said you have homework so… Monty’s, secret beach… with flashcards?”

“You truly know the way to my heart.” She kissed him softly and followed him to their room to change into beach clothes. As she sifted through the drawers, she couldn’t help but look at the shelf. It was bigger than the one she’d had in New York, more sturdy with thicker wood and longer, able to hold more frames. 

That was a good thing, because there had been some new additions. The picture of Nicole, the baby picture of her and Charlie, and the engagement picture with them and Devin all stood tall beside each other. Down the line came the picture of Indy and Grayson at her graduation, the one where he was dipping her back slightly and wearing her cap. Then was Bekah in her hospital bed - it still made Indy’s chest tight when she looked at it. There were two new ones since then - one of the four of them taken by Lisa in front of their tiny homes, and another of all of them at thanksgiving that they’d finally gotten printed.

“We need to get that picture we just took from Ethan, I wanna put it on the shelf.”

“I’m gonna have to build you another shelf,” he teased as he pulled his swim trunks up.

“Think you’ll probably be building stuff for the nursery first.”

“Shut up, do you really think they’ll let me?” His eyes lit up and Indy laughed as she pulled her New York sweatshirt down over her bikini top.

“I don’t see why not.”

“Fuck yeah, that’s gonna be so much fun! What all do you need in a nursery though? I mean a crib, obviously. A dresser? Do you need a dresser for baby clothes or can you just stack them up cause they’re so tiny?”

“We can talk about it while we drive,” Indy redirected him, taking his hand and leading him out of their room, down the hall and out to the car before he could bombard the other couple of the house with questions. 

The excitement was palpable for the whole drive, buzzing within the cab as they made their way to Monty’s, ordered their vegan burgers and raspberry lemonades and snuck away to their secret place on the beach. 

Considering it was a Wednesday evening, they didn’t expect it to be busy, but they were particularly excited to see that it was completely empty apart from a few stray crabs that went scurrying away at the sound of their footsteps. 

Grayson set out the blanket that was always in the back of the tesla for trips like this and Indy set down their bags and drinks, getting everything settled so they could simply sit down and enjoy their meal.

It was peaceful, calm as the ocean lapped up against the sand gently and they filled their tummies. Grayson was done before Indy, per usual, and he basked in the last remnants of the sun while she finished her fries.

“Wanna swim?” Indy asked.

“Thought we were supposed to wait 30 minutes.”

“That’s a myth,” she teased, standing up to her feet and helping him to his. They walked down to the water quickly, gasping a bit at the cold of the water. Still, there was nothing that compared to the feeling of being in the waves, and Indy braved it. Grayson had every muscle tensed against the cold, but he’d follow her anywhere. Soon enough they were up to shoulder height water, kicking gently to get over the waves when they needed to, arms wrapped around each other to keep warm.

“I can’t believe they’re gonna have a kid. Were gonna be Aunt Dee and Uncle Grayson. What the fuck,” Grayson murmured, half distracted by the way the orange of the sky was starting to reflect off of Indy’s eyes. 

“It’s gonna be so much fun to have a little one around. They’re gonna be such good parents.”

“You know who would be even better parents? Us,” he beamed. He looked so beautiful when he smiled, and Indy ran her thumb along his jaw.

“Let me finish school and find a job before you go putting a baby in me,” Indy laughed, but her heart warmed at the thought. She remembered the little girl on the highline, and she wanted it for the two of them.

“You’re done in like a year and a half.”

“Correct,” Indy confirmed it. 

“I always thought I’d be married before I had a kid,” Grayson said, trying to bite back his excitement. 

She wasn’t sure if it was the bliss of the water around them, or the steadiness of his arms, or the fact that she always felt like she was home when she was with him, but in that moment, she knew.

“Okay. Then let’s get married.”

“Are you serious? You aren’t fucking with me? You really wanna get married?”

“Did I ever give you the impression that I didn’t want to marry you someday?” She teased.

Grayson could only laugh, and look up towards the skies and thank whatever angels were listening and watching for all that he’d been given.

He was pretty sure he knew at least three that were there with him. 

“I love you. I love you so fucking much. Don’t know what I ever did to deserve you.”

Indy kissed him. The feeling was mutual in the most effortless way, and there was a sense of peace that she wasn’t used to in that moment, knowing that everything would somehow work itself out and she would have him with her for the rest of her life. 

And for once, the timeline of her life wasn’t her priority anymore. She didn’t care what date she’d finish school, or when she’d get her job. And she didn’t care when he would propose, or when they’d find out they were having a child of their own. Because in all those moments, whenever they happened, he would be there, and that was all that really mattered at the end of the day. 

They kissed slow, quiet for a while, and as the sun dipped below the horizon Grayson carried her back out onto the sand. They wrapped themselves up in the same towel and found each other’s lips again, warm and familiar and safe as they lost themselves within one another over and over again. 

Her lips were chapped by the time they pulled away, both giddy at the realizations that they’d always know finally being said out loud. 

“How much homework do you have?” 

“Just studying, I can do it in the morning. What’s the plan?” She knew he wouldn’t have asked if there wasn’t something he wanted to do.

“I’ll show you. Just trust me.”

“Okay,” she answered without a second thought. 

Twenty minutes later, with salty hair and big smiles, they pulled up to a tattoo parlor. 

“I thought you got all yours from Alexis now?” 

“Gotta get this one tonight. Special day.” 

Indy looked at the neon signs, and the artwork on the walls through the window. She pondered it for a minute, and something in her told her to go for it.

“I think I’m gonna get one too.”

Grayson perked up at that. “Really?” He knew every inch of her body, knew it would be her first one.

“Something small. Something for Beks.”

He smiled and kissed her temple before he got out to open her door.

Indy went first. A small lightning bolt, like the one on Bekah’s headscarf. And, the thunderstorm of their first date in the city. She got it tucked away behind her ear, in the same place of Grayson’s triple threes. His angel number, and her reminder of both of hers. It didn’t hurt as badly as she thought it would, but Grayson sat beside her anyways, rubbed soothing circles on the back of her hand while he held it.

D-O-I-N-G G-O-O-D he wrote. 

“Thanks,” she smiled softly. “Bet you won’t even flinch during yours.”

“That's the idea. You can study while I get mine, I want it to be a surprise.”

Hers only took a few minutes, and her lecture material was at the back of her mind once the artist cleaned her up and moved over the Grayson. He grabbed his wallet from her backpack where he’d stowed it and Indy took a seat in one of the chairs in the lobby, occasionally turning her head towards the mirror so she could see her new ink. 

Across the shop, Grayson took his shirt off. 

“You can pull the letters from these, and I want it right here.” He passed over the stack of flashcards he’d snagged, sure that they’d be able to find what they needed. 

“Bitch of a spot,” the artist said quietly as he prepped over his ribs, but he just laughed. From the view of Grayson’s covered legs, he wasn’t sure there was any spot too painful for him. 

“She’s worth it,” Grayson said, closing his eyes and waiting. The sting of the needle was familiar, and it did hurt as he moved over each bone. But when he looked in the mirror, it was all worth it. He didn’t even bother putting his shirt on as he paid the artist in cash, including a big tip, and headed out to the lobby. 

Indy was sifting through her bag. 

“Looking for these?” Grayson held up a small stack of flashcards with a devious grin. “Sorry, had to borrow them for my tat.”

Indy’s brows furrowed, and she stood up, moving closer as he lifted his arm and showed her his ribcage.

In small handwriting, her handwriting, was the word ‘forever’.

“Right where you always trace it.”

To her surprise, her eyes started to burn.

“Gray…” She knew how important his tattoos were to him, what each and every one of them meant. 

“Consider it a promise. I’m with you. Forever.”

He ducked down to kiss her, and she smiled against him, hand resting on his torso right below his promise.

She liked the sound of forever.

[knightartorius]

wwdits 4x1 countdown!

the long post where i document every day until wwdits returns on july 12! all 60 days of misery, pain, hardship, love, joy, and innocence all in one place. why did i do this you ask? ………………..

60:

WWDITS ANNOUNCED NANDERMO REAL WE WON YES. YES. JULY 12 SAVE THE DATE. YES. YES. YES wwdits is upon us soon. i feel nothing but joy. WWDITS WWDITS YEAHHH

59:

The excruciatingly long wait until July 12 has hit. It’s starting to look dim. I am unsure if I will even live to see it.

58:

i started this on day 59 because i needed a way to get the absolute amount of soot off my heart from the 60 day wait and it is STILL day 59 as im writing this and i just cant wait til day 58 to say that im fucking dying. i cant. and theres going to be another wait for ofmd eventually and oh my goddd. im such an impatient person and i cant. its currently day 58 and i am watching flight of the conchords to cope

57:

i have decided to watch one critical role episode every day which will occupy about 25 days worth of my time. this may vary with school and summer break but i need a distraction. i am rewatching ofmd for the first time in a little while. this is terrible… i have school today as well which is stunting my coping abilities. not good. havent once been able to focus on anything because my head is just critrole ofmd wwdits on repeat i am dying… my critrole pacing is also already so off, im on like episode 4 and i shouldve only finished 2 or something like that. but i cant help but have the cliffhangers resolved

56:

day 56 has begun, and im starting to realize how fucking long this post is gonna be. and how long the wait really is.. obviously when you think of 60 days as 2 months it feels like not all that long, but when you break it down into days, and hours of days, thinking each time you update this post and whatnot, it makes it feel much longer. in better news, only 3 more days of school left!

55:

this being the last week of school might be slowing down time. it feels like the longest week on the fucking planet… after days 57-53 this should be smooth sailing. anyway speaking of school nobody is taking this shit seriously anymore, nobody is here and ive just been playing minecraft in class

54:

unsure if im now behind on critrole because i had to spend hours working on a “group” project from complete scratch due at *checks watch* 11:59 because my partner ghosted me… i also have another project due at *checks watch* 11:59 today and i wont be getting home to work on it until 8. this is pretty great idk. why did all this stuff fall on the last week of school im more stressed than ive ever been on a “chill week.” maybe if wwdits was back itd be better

53:

IVE BEEN SO BUSY ALL DAY RHAT I TOTALLY FORGOT TO UPDATE HII.. SCHOOL ENDED TODAY!! i finished me projects and all…very proud of myself for getting through this week kinda ok? forgot to add yesterday that in class we wrote letters to ourselves as graduates in english and i mentioned both ofmd and wwdits… more than once like they were plot points..loved writing it too. but yes summer is officially upon me!!!!!!! yeah baby

52:

first day of summer has sucked. woke up far too early (who wakes up at 7 in the summertime like the sun hadnt even risen) and now im sick..life is pain quote the nun

51:

so i absolutely underestimated how sick i was gonna get towards the end of the day, to the point where i only have a very hazy memory of the entire evening.. but its 1 am and i woke up from a nap i presume and i feel a lot better now. definitely a few days behind on critical role too, havent had any time to watch in between being sick as FUCK and school. we are almost through the first ten days of the wwdits wajt though!!!! im so excited im also getting a new phone today, ive had the same one for 4/5 years now and shes starting to be a little shit so. GOT THE NEW PHONE! (iphone 13) it is so smooth and the camera BUMPIN… it fits in me hand nice too. lord how i needed this baby. i also watched 25 minutes of morbius too, and its..absolutely unwatchable so i turned it off. i cant even watch it as a joke

50:

TEN DAYS DOWN!!!!!!!!!! the impossible task is starting to look…possible! in fifty days ill have the pleasure of saying…nandermo is real. but for now, all i can say is nandermo will be real in 50 days. im also starting to feel a little better? my throat is still killing me though. the one issue i have with this phone is that “autistics for otori emu” use to fit perfectly in one line of text but now its like

AUTISTICS FOR OTORI

EMU

and its kinda ugly. ill never change it though

49:

LOVE AND THUNDER JULY 8…july is gonna be a big month for taika god damn anyway I CANT WAIT!!!!! i wanna see this movie so bad….AHH.. also lowkey been inactive at the moment. not sure why

48:

watched the lighthouse last night, it was lowkey gay porn but i loved it. certified really good movie. anyway, im in a movie watching era of this countdown. except i watch like 1 movie a day every night. tonights is everything everywhere all at once! im very excited i hope i cry. didnt cry but still really enjoyed the movie! i wish they took a more “you dont have to forgive your parents” approach, cause they kinda just ignored the fact that evelynn was the one who broke joy, and her breaking joy fractured her in every universe… and like yeah joy was able to heal and forgive but she shouldnt have to forgive her mother just because she saved her. a lot of people with trauma have it in our brains (especially those of us with parental trauma) that we have to forgive our abusers and media rarely ever empowers those of us who are unable to simply forgive and forget, and this movie had the perfect opportunity to do that, but in a sense im glad they didnt also

47:

its morbin time. not really anything to say today, but its been cloudy for the past week and im wondering when im gonna get to see the sun again. the countdown is smooth sailing otherwise! OH WAIT ive been playing life is strange true colors and its been..fun?? idk ive also been playing the sims for fun again too which .. it has been ages since… i have a “legacy” going kinda but the first gens story is pretty fucked up so im just having fun with mods really

46:

kissed ryan and its the only choice ive been 100% confident about in this game. i love ryan. hes my one true love. they dont make men like this in the real. im also gonna retry watching morbius im obsessed with this movie + my bff is graduating today im so happy for him

OKAY MAYDAY THE WWDITS EPISODE TITLES JUST RELEASED AND. WE ARE 95 DAYS AWAY FROMA “The Wedding” it could be nandermo. it could and im scared (KITE FROM THE FUTURE: its not nandermo nandor is marrying a woman??)

45:

these past 5 days have been going so fast im scared. too fast almost. in like 30 minutes were gonna have wwdits 4 like it was nothing. also rewatching morbius second night in a row because my friend wants to watch it with me. hes morbing out oh my god oh shit. okay we ended up not watching morbius but i watched wwdits (2005) and 1) taika hot 2) the montage of people calling them fags is so..timely idk. but for everyone who always says “ah nz is so progressive” and acts like conservatism doesnt exist there and idolizes the countrys politics… reality check please. 3) taika hot like all the letterboxd review are about his hair and shit and yea i agree completely. but i made a post to my instagram story and tldr it was about how the wwdits franchise kinda encapsulates the changes in perception of queerness throughout the 21st century and honestly its one of the most interesting aspects to me while consuming all wwdits content

44:

hunt for the wilderpeople is a movie that i watched that broke me a bit. i didnt cry or anything of the sort but god i loved ever second of it. how will i live. anyway i think im officially over the ofmd grief but rather im shocked that the show still hasnt been renewed..not in like an awww boo hoo but like..what the fuck is hbo doing (KITE 3 DAYS IN THE FUTURE HERE: THIS IS SO FUNNY. THEY WERE WAITING UNTIL PRIDE MONTH)

43:

watching both top gun movies, was inspired by flight of the conchords. will be back. ok i only watched the og top gun but i did thoroughly enjoy it, and damn that movie is beautiful if nothing else + american psycho. and american psycho i loved a lot. also if youre wondering why im watching so many movies its a summer goal of mine to watch a lot of movies because i notoriously dont like movies as an artistic means and have watched like barely any movies proportionate to my lifespan and im trying to change that. i still dont like movies really but…oh well im glad im using this to watch some good films. my letterboxd is kite4444_1 if you were interested in seeing my ratings (they are wonky…and 3 means i liked/enjoyed it btw)

theres also a meteor shower tonight (allegedly) so im sitting outside at 1 am viewing the sky, ive seen 1 so far so dub! rare once in a lifetime experience in the wwdits countdown

42:

i really dont know how to break the meteor shower stuff up but its 1:30 am so its officially day 42. i saw 4 big meteors, a lot of little guys, and 1 orange fella so i consider this a big win.. i also just enjoyed sitting outside and watching the sky, i should do that more often honestly. literally did nothing today! W

41:

its pride month! happy pride month. also one month closer til wwdits..dub OH MY FUCJING GOD I JUST GOT THE NEWS. YES. YES. YES. YES OH MY GOD YES YES YES YES YES IM LITERALLY CRYING IM BESIDE MYSELF WITH JOY AND EVTASY I CANT oh my god i cant wait until i have an ofmd countdown god is so fucking real best day of my life nobody understands my joy rn GOD im crying so hard incant i cant i cant i just cried so hard IM CRYING AGAIN it’s definitely been like an hour or something but i cant think. i cant feel. hello #BestDayEver

season 2 requests:

1) bearded stede. dgaf if rhys says he cant grow a beard hes lying

2) jim and jackie romantic interactions… i read the vico interview and when they said maybe jim will find someone else during their separation to olu…my mind went bonkers

3) mary gets many gfs and they are poly and in love. doug is also in the polycule

4) izzy, jim, lucius, ivan, frenchie, fang need to be BESTIES. BFFs4L. and izzy and lucius you already know i want them together idc

KITE VS RAINBOW CAPITALISM: RAINBOW CAPITALISM WON

40:

ANOTHER TEN DAYS DOWN!!!!!!! YEAHHHH soon there will be no time left.. what the hell! pride month really is off to a great start and im ecstatic.. still not over the sheer high of ofmd 2 announcement but it also makes me fear season 2s existence. BUT GOD I CANT WAIT UNTIL I HAVE ANOTHER COUNTDOWN entiled “Ofmd 2 countdown” its going to be glorious and im going to be fucking FERAL. FERALLL!!!!

39:

watching muppets treasure island and ofmd season 2 looks CRAZY… anyway im watching this because apparently black sails has prior reading and i was not watching some old movie or the novel so muppets treasure island it is. i also need to stop writing these entries early in the morning (it is 1:45 am) because it throws my rhythm off..in better news though its all been good, im going to the beach tomorrow oh fuck it just hit me im going to the beach at peak ofmd fixation..its going to be all i think about NEVERMIND ITS ONLY FRIDAY I THOUGHT IT WAS SATURDAY? not going to the beach tomorrow cause we leave sunday im an idiot

38:

god i cant wait to go to the beach i need it. no pirate bullshit but i need to be one with the sea its been over a year since ive been there gah…my mom keeps being weird about it but you will not ruin my fun beach adventures!! i will walk for miles in one direction listening to music or something or talking to myself without a care in the world because i am one with the oceanside. i will cry for no reason walking my dog and thinking wow. this is what stede wouldve wanted. i cant wait to spend the next 4 days pacing with the sand between my toes as i ponder season 2 and what explorations of heartbreak means for each character. i will cry

also im on episode 3 of black sails and this shit is DRAMA??? like ofmg i was not ready also what is the ofmd/muppets treasure island/black sails pipeline because ive seen multiple fans with muppets treasure island profile pictures and how did i manage to fall down the same fucking hole

37:

BEACH DAYY!!!!!!! i cannot wait til we get there holy fuck [ x ] <- pics here! i also went and updated the layout of this post so ideally its easier to look at i REALLY need to stop writing these at 1/2 am because whyd i wake up and learn we aren’t even going until wednesday and my mom isnt even sure we can get reservations..if i dont go to the beach ill die like actually ill perish

WAIIITTTT WWDITS TEASER DROPPED [ x ] oh my god?????? this is the most unhinged the show has ever been and i cant wait

36:

nobody told me black sails was gay…like super gay this is insane. everyone is bisexual and they were so real for that. anyway im very much enjoying watching because the drama is real

also wwdits poster..wow 2 days in a row theyve been giving us content also renewed for seasons 5 & 6?!?!? idk why i had it in my head that season 4 was going to be the end but YES wwdits is goijg with me to college W…also on that note its crazy to me that ofmd and the like arent going to be finished until im in college…wow…im getting old

35:

we are almost halfway through the wait! god damn the past 25 days have felt almost nonexistent but regardless… beach tmw!!!!! for real this time. and as i said i will be at peace. i always thought if they were real id be a mermaid. and ill probably reincarnate as a lobster or something of the like.. i am one with the sea

also ever since that article about taika being a failure or sellout or whatever (i didnt read the article) made the typo calling jemaine “jermaine” i have carried the torch. he is now jermaine clement to me

34:

beach day beach day beach day… i cant wait for this “getting-to-beach” arc to end because this has went on for far too long… anyway, im gonna finish black sails either today or tomorrow and wow! what an adventure. the worlds longest origin story. i have enjoyed every minute of it!

33:

i finished black sails! also here are those beach pictures i promised [ x ]. other than that this trip has so far been pretty uneventful (not saying it will ever be eventful) but i am enjoying the sea view

also rumor has it ofmd season 2 should be airing around june/july of next year which is so insanely far but also very close. its also going to be insane comfort for me after i graduate i can tell +£~£

32:

going on a bender of listening to old 90s alternative rock songs i havent heard since i was like 10. and i still know 97% of the lyrics to all of these songs… my music taste has come a long way really. hot take though i dont understand why people bend over backwards to defend bjorks racism because her music is not even that good?? what is the appeal here. let her go

31:

havent had much to say recently but today is my last day at the beach… but now we are for real for real close to reaching that halfway point… i am quite geeked if i do say so myself

30:

WE ARE OFFICIALLY HALFWAY THROUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAHHHYHHHHHH BABY its been a long ass thirty days but im sure that its going to go by fast now? also because we seem to be getting a lot of random content (not just for wwdits but yk).. im quite ecstatic. i cant wait for my silly little tv show

later tonight i have a music listening event with my friend and i have to choose 5 albums for us to listen to and so far i have and otherwise i have zero idea

jyocho - the beautiful cycle of terminal

イツエ (itsue) - いくつもの絵 / many pictures

ABBA - voulez-vous

never mind apparently! it was supposed to start about 2 hours ago and im like 80% sure im getting stood up! oh well. i say oh well because im a bit used to it but also im fairly upset because i was really looking forward to thissss ahhhh

29:

getting stood up aside i think im sick AGAIN???? i think ive been sick like 50 times this entire countdown but also i have like 5 chronic illnesses and so it could be one of them. besides i feel bad but not too bad so ill live

i woke up with a super weird tender rash on the palm of my hand and???? what the hell. god is spiting me now that the countdown is on the downward path

28:

nah not sick but i was not feeling hot yesterday. im very excited though because my broccoli plants are looking very healthy after the trip (i was a bit worried theyd fucking die) but they are taking to the environment quite nicely. on the contrary i planted SIX cucumber plants and they are taking over my entire garden like a goddamn parasite. i dont even need tgat many cucumbers why did i plant six oh my god. also my onions should be harvestable soon… if youre wondering what all plants im growing: cucumbers broccoli red pepper onion spinach & carrots. very nature over here

also i am plugging flight of the conchords as one of my albums..! pay me jemaine

27:

DIDNT UPDATE AT ALL TODAY??? but omg my cucumbers were ready for harvest and theyre HUGE. i also started a worm bin today and i had to collect 2 worms on my own i hope they enjoy having sex and shitting for me but yeah. this is a beautiful thing. overall a great day i very much enjoy getting gritty in the garden

also fun sketchful.io night with my friend and now we have official plans to meet irl come january!!!!!! fat fucking double you

26:

do tumblr posts have a word limit…i feel like i mentioned this before but it comes more of a growing concern every single day. otherwise its a good day except me waking up to my dog having a seizure because i overslept my alarm for giving him his meds. in case you were wondering hes completely fine just a normal hiccup

also bios dont have a word limit either do they.. also layout change! i changed the color yesterday but today i moved the rant bio to be under the cut because i just cant part with it

25:

watched thor ragnarok so im officially up to date for love and thunder. i love korg no im not biased but also everyone who was like thor and bruce have serious couple energy are so right its such a shame he wont be in love and thunder. the “rom com” aspect with jane peter and bruce would be so hectic but also so good?!!? havent been hyped for a marvel movie since endgame im so excited

introducing a new conflict: me trying to watch fotc live in london without paying for hbo max. this has been an uphill battle and i signed up for the apple one free trial which gives me free apple tv and they said they had live in london on there BUT NO IT REDIRECTS YOU TO HULU AND HBOMAX. now you may be thinking “just sign up for hulu free trial” BUT HULU DOESNT HAVE IT EITHER WITHOUT YOU PAYING FOR THE HBO ADDON!!!! also i tried literally every pirating website i know and nothing. i feel like im fighting a goddamn war just to watch live in london idk

ok update: its currently 2:55 am and i found it on the pirate bay but obviously thats a torrenting thingy so tomorrow evening im going to relearn how to torrent so i can watch it. also last time i downloaded utorrent it absolutely wrecked my computer, managed to uninstall it but its still fucked up but oh well! anything for fotc

adding onto an already incredibly hectic log, i ended up not downloading it today because i didnt feel like getting out my laptop charger. it was one of those incredibly lazy days. but man if theres one thing this post is gonna do, its gonna make me realize how much of my summer i am spending RELAXING. its well deserved and this is my last high school summer so i should definitely waste the most i can because ill never get this again, but like.. come august the regret is gonna be reallllll….

24:

another day of completely forgetting to update this! im getting back into terraria and that has kept me mostly entertained all day. im so bad at it but i used to be cracked (kinda. i never got to hardmode cause flesh but)

to add, i have a 4 day streak going of eating toast late at night. the first 2 days it was tuna on this asiago cheese loaf and these past 2 days have been cinnamon butter on sourdough. very real

23:

days are flying by! wow. but my sleep schedule is so off it’s ridiculous. but today was even less eventful than yesterday, except i think im finally in my terraria groove and i even beat the eye of cthulhu + i wanna fight skeletron but like, i have no idea where his temple is and ive went so far in both directions

22:

i have whipped cthulhu’s ass thrice. he doesn’t even stand a chance! but i did attempt skeletron and got whooped so hard it’s ridiculous?? did they buff him since i last played like 5 years ago. also attempted the eater of worlds twice for some scales so i can make demonite equipment and CHRIST i keep having like sensory overload. also sorry for making three consecutive short posts where i exclusively talk about terraria but that is all im doing so we! will! have! to! deal!

also sometimes its so hard to tell if i wrote already. like i have no recollection of writing today but i think i did??? did i????

21:

21 days? THREE WEEKS?? three weeks ???? three weeks!!! i really am so excited. also i might be going to see lightyear soon with some of my friends who i haven’t seen in like 3/4 years! definitely not the most hype movie we couldve went to see but idc chris evans keke palmer and taika are all in there and thats all i care about. mm

I DREAMT ABOUT S2E1 of ofmd that they like released episode 1 early and it was so funny. i don’t remember much about it but stede and ed werent in the episode at all (but blackbeard was in the last like 15 minutes of an hour long episode, but i didnt even watch that part because of dream logic) and i don’t remember much at all but someone was in a white void with john silver. a completely different show. and they had to complete some kind of bullshit puzzle it was great the rest of the dream was mostly on the deserted island with the rest of the revenge and jim was there too but hell i dont know it was such a mess

also i never mentioned it but i watched guns akimbo like 2 days ago and jesus christ i haven’t recovered. the pacing never slows down and its balls like the movie is hot balls but it was so insane that like. i havent recovered

20:

TWENTY!!! FORTY DAYS DOWN WOWZA. that’s literally insane. its doggy bath day for me so im bathing the dog and he hates it but boo hoo stinky dog. maybe dont pee on yourself so often

also the plans are saturday!! i cant wait. and these are actually definitely go through so WWWWW

TRAILER DROP!!! WE GOT IT. POLYAMORY?!?! YES!! excited. thats all i can say

19:

time to get a little sad and vulnerable. got out of the house for the first time in awhile to go to my nana’s, she passed in late february and we’ve been working to sell the house and had a cleaning crew finish everything up before contracts were signed with realtors. and it was hella gutting seeing a home that has so many childhood memories emptied…or gutted i guess you could say, and today is the last day i’ll ever step foot in that house and it’s literally crazy. i dont regret not going up there as often as i could or anything but it is quite a sad conclusion to come to. it was a pretty productive day too, and im proud of myself! especially because ive been conscious about my productivity, motivation, and the like. so yay!

18:

i regret updating the tumblr app so bad..its so ugly now and theres so much to look at for what..i also woke up to some of the worst news imaginable for us americans, and like…idk

17:

yesterday was rough but i cant wait to see my bsfs so good vibes. great vibes even

it was fun!!!!!!!!!!! lightyear was..bad? it was very mid. but taika…so thats better. i gave it a 2/5 on letterboxd and the extra star was for taika so. but i feel so relieved i get to see them again because it really has been so long.. none of us have seen each other since we were 14!!!!!!!!! now we’re basically grown?!?!?

also ive been watching greys anatomy trying to catch up (for japril) and this show is so good but also extremely garbage… what do you mean deluca got stabbed in between episodes?? also these topical covid episodes are so tired and this is only episode 7 of a 20 episode season. if this whole season is covid themed ill kill myself because ive already heard the same spiel about feeling isolated and lonely and whatever. like yeah, everyone watching knows that, we all lived through the worst of it and have to deal with an unfinished aftermath. im so glad i waited to watch this because if at the high of the pandemic i tuned into this shit id be so over the show. but im attached to these characters and the neverending drama. im eating the tom and teddy stuff up!!!! i do want them to be together, i love tom and he deserves teddy. i quite like owen too and i feel bad for screwing him after he put in so much effort to make it work for teddy but thats exactly it. he shouldnt have to put up with her bs anymore (i like teddy too but girl)

16:

bored out of my mind.. so bored. thats all i can say today. bored.. i think im gonna force myself to start drawing again because i havent in months. i was in a bad burnout after art class so yk

15:

GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15!!!!!!! but KORACICK AND JACKSON LEFTttttt…. you can understand my pain. obviously it was for a good cause but goddammit!!!!!! ill miss you tom.. gone but never forgotten

14:

its day 13 but i completely forgot to update. it skipped my mind completely. i can’t remember anything that happened yesterday but teo weeks!!!!! two weeks left

13:

day 14 was an absolute blunder on my part. i knew missing a day was bound to happen eventually but man. that shows just how uneventful my days have been. i redownloaded genshin and this game is so boring even though i have all the inazuma and chasm stuff to do…but i hit 698?k with childe ult and that. makes me happy! back when i was into the game i was on a road to 1 million and this gets me about 7/10 of the way through…. im not p2w too so

I DISNT EVEN SKIP DAY 14. IM SO CONFUSED RN. YESTERDAY WAS DAY 14. IT IS DAY 13. god im such an idiot but im not going ro backspace any of this… late night phone call watching sing 2 and i got my best friend to watch some ofmd with me!! we are up to episode 6 but he fell asleep and i am so tored. also rsd is so awful like i love this show to death and when he doesnt laugh at something i want to cackle at i feel like im being stabbed brutally in the stomach? pretty sure hes enjoying it though. i feel glee! but the best part comes when i get to talk about every interview ive read, the story of how rhys was casted, because ive already had the honor of sharing tidbits like izzy canonically being the one who put the bows in eds beard in e5, and rhys taking sailing lessons while taika couldnt even read blackbeards wikia page… autism won today.

sing 2 was also an absolute blast, my friend asked if the little koala dude was voiced by the “guy who plays eddie from ofmd.” i was deeply confused, turns out he affectionately named stede ‘eddie,’ and no rhys does not voice buster moon. matthew mcconaughey does and he isnt even kiwi……. also i am like a rhys detector because that man is the voice of my conscious. it was a really great movie tho, like bono was in there and ??????? i love the sing franchise

12:

HAPPY JULY!!!!!!!! we are so close now. 1 week until thor, 12 days until wwdits, 4 months until greys anatomy, and about 1 year until omfd. its like everything is happening soon! also maybe i should stop thinking about time passing in my life relative to media i enjoy… but also it makes me happy. i watched boy (the taika movie) and that was another banger. taikas best talent isnt directing its finding insanely talented kids. boy is tonally similar to hunt for the wilderpeople but personally it lacks something in comparison? if i had to guess its because wilderpeople builds on family dynamics in a positive light while boy explores parental idolization and its wayyy too relatable at some points. its still a great film though 4.5/10 on letterboxd

11:

I think i counted the days wrong…? and now im weirdly confused and scared because it’s currently the 2nd and this is day..11? meaning this will end on the 13th as opposed to the 12th. this is so fucking scuffed and im not gonna edit anything i just have to live with my mistakes. maybe i really did miss day 14 though. im so confused?????? what happened. what went wrong.

anyway WE FINISHED OFMD TOGETHER!!!! he is not an izzy fan and im glad. hes also a jim/olu supremacist which like…yeah so true? now i just need to get him to watch wwdits and everything will be solved in the world probably

10:

TEN DAYS!!!!! (actually 9.) or maybe this is accurate but it goes to like 12:00 am july 13 which doesnt really count

anyway 5 am thoughts: been thinking about boy again and its growing very fond in my mind. i think letting the ending sit with me was for the better and i love this movie a lot more now (and i already loved it lots.) how cute

9:

watched mysterious skin and damn. in life youre either a neil or a brian and i am a brian so hard. nothing really remarkable to say today

8:

I DIDNT EVEN FUCK UP THE TIMING… the issue is that i always update this at like 5 am the next day and it throws everything off for me.. otherwise its the fourth of july i guess? nobody really celebrates this holiday anyway. its an excuse to grill and set off illegal fireworks and nobosy is thinking about the revolutionary war… also a bit of a rough time sociopolitically in the usa rn so. extra bunk holiday… i fixed up these star leds that have just been hanging on my wall for like 2 years and it added so much ambiance i love how my room looks now! its great

7:

forgot to update again except this time 2 days in a row hahahahahahahaha i was writing out the july fourth thing yesterday but got distracted and it never saved. i pulled itto today though!!!!!!’ im so happy but rest in peace to the next banner because im definitely not getting whatever character is on it. genshin is occupying my brain again and i dont like the inazuma lore but the characters have grown on me (mainly people i can associate with ayaka because shes one of my favorite characters all time) but others still have the personality of like a wet rag (cough raiden yae kokomi and gorou) IF YOUR FAV IS ON THAT LIST, FIGHT ME! id like to be proven wrong honestly! i want to like the characters! otherwise ONE WEEK! ONE WEEK! YEAH YEAHHH

6:

thor tmw!!!!! yeahhhhhhhh

that being all i wrote today tells so much. burn out isnt really the word because that seems like a real big overestimate but i am a bit exhausted of updating this, especially when i have to rack my brain for things to write? and i feel like im letting myself and others (despite me talking to a brick wall with this post basically) by not providing any interesting content in here. like that span of me playing terraria. how boring. and recently it’s been similarly dull. but luckily we’re coming to a quick end to this timeline with only a big 6 days left!

5:

its also a real struggle to scroll all the way down. thor today! thor soon. 2 hours until thor! yay. but also woke up to some terrible news that my dog *COULD* have cancer, we wont know really for another 2 weeks and then we wont know for certain until after a biopsy. sucks like shit though, that dog is like a brother to me. but…thor! thor is getting me through this

ITS SO GOOD. and say what you want taika did put gay sex in the marvel movie. korgdwayne forever. i cant even begin to comprehend how much i enjoyed that like tis so real. i am biased i am. but also i dont care what cishet people have to say about this movie. the queer rep was there and frankly its all i ever wanted/ask for

4:

OOPSIE DAISIE FORGOT TO UPDATE AGAIN. yesterday was fun. thor is my whole brain rn. thats all

3:

3 days left is so crazy. like this has been 58 days of sheer insanity and its coming to a close.

late night/early morning thoughts: im in such a prison built by internalized ableism and i know unmasking is possible but i never see myself able to escape this endless fucking nightmare. i want to be unashamed about all my autistic traits but its unbelievably difficult.. and so many people who i love and who love me don’t really know me even if they talk to me every single day because i barely know myself because of how far buried he is. and so thats another thing ill have to deal with

talking about anything is so difficult for me to do. crossing the barrier of mentioning anything im watching or reading is like climbing mount everest especially to people i havent known basically my entire life and its so awful? i wish it wasnt such a struggle to be. even when im not talking and if im just thinking about a hf/si i feel so awful and like im failing and i cant take much more of this. any of it, the shame, the self deprecation, anything

2:

SAW TOP GUN MAVERICK FINALLY!! im so glad i got to see it during the countdown its definitely part of the character arc ive went on throughout this post. what a tonal shift from yesterday also but wow only 2 days left! ive seen so many movies now… all i think of is movies anymore…. but its been a really good span of days recently i feel like summer is finally looking up! and soon wwdits is gonna be back with us like wow!!!! so much to look forward to im very excited. im always fucking excited for anything and everything. woo!!!

1:

what can i say that hasnt already been said, what a fuckin journey this has been and its soon gonna come to fruition. and also what a better way to send this off than I AM SICK AGAIN. thats the spirit of the countdown really. today is a chill day and tomorrow im gonna rewatch the 2014 movie for vibe reasons but like. im so happy and proud. wooooooo!!!!!

also i love walking around the house and hearing ra ra rasputin blaring loud on the tv cause the wwdits trailer. it makes me happy but im also remindes like oh shit this show is on cable tv. weird feeling? havent watched a show on cable in so long

0:

ITS OVER. THE WAIT IS OVER! i said most of the “sappy” shit yesterday but now its all official. im not gonna keep this going in between weekly episodes as a cheap way to keep this going. its over today. TODAY! gonna rewatch the movie in a bit probably just to get in a really vampiric mood but also the moon is full tonight iirc? what a coincidence (probably)

Well folks. thats the end there! just watched episode 3 so its exactly a week after this countdown so i think its a better time to write the conclusion, because its weird that it just cuts off. but there isnt a conclusion cause i already wrote it on days 1 & 0. see you next year when ofmd s2 is announced!

[narrans]

Everyone needs a little Hero | Hero’s Little Conversation

Hero spent the next few hours contemplating his interaction with the little girl, Maggie. It hadn’t occurred to him that humans were just and dangerous toward each other as they were for someone like him. He found himself asking so many questions about what their lives were like, Borrowers only being able to see snippets of what went on in their daily lives.

 Despite living among them all his life, Hero soon concluded that what Borrowers truly knew about humans was only a fraction of what really went on. They got their food from someplace which Hero thought he heard being called the “Market;” but what did that look like? This building was big, but was it the biggest? What happened when they were really sick? Where did they go?

 Hero stopped in his tracks on his way when he remembered his promise. Sam. The train of thought going from sick people ended with thinking about Sam. Was he okay? Did the coughing stop?

 At the moment, Hero was at the floor joists between where he would turn to go back home or make his way to the human boy’s room in the other apartments. His parents weren’t expecting him home anytime soon. And… I did promise. But was he ready? Sure, Sam promised he wouldn’t say anything as long as Hero came back, but there was that instinctual fear that Sam might’ve simply needed time to get things together to keep him.

 Hero shuddered at the possibility. He nervously glanced about to make sure no one was watching before looking back through his bags and supplies. No food rations and just a little water, but there are things I can use to escape if need be in here. Hero paused at that thought. Would he even have what it takes to escape if one of the humans he was trying to help did capture him?

 No. He couldn’t think about that, and the humans he was helping would never try to capture him. At least, that’s what he thought optimistically as he turned down the hallways to Sam’s room.

 ~~~~~^*^*^~~~~~

 Hero slid down the line he secured from the ceiling to his original perch on top of the bookshelf once he made it to Sam’s room. The human boy was currently sitting on his bed with something covering his ears and a device in his hands. The Borrower couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Sam seemed to have color in his cheeks once again and him being distracted let Hero belay to the top of the shelf without being detected.

 With a quick whip of the thread, the hook came free and landed on top of the shelf for Hero to use once again to reach the bottom shelf of the bookcase. The bold Borrower had determined that he wouldn’t get too close just in case while also upholding his promise. He never promised he would get close enough for Sam to touch anyway. Also, being on the bookshelf let Hero be close to eye level with Sam – another chip in his favor (and Hero loved chips).

 The bookshelf was set up so there were shelves in the top half of the furniture piece and a cabinet below. Where the top and bottom met created the perfect lip for him to stand, which is exactly what he did. The bed was just beside the bookshelf and the bedside table next to it, creating an interesting “L” shape.

 Hero slid down the braided line until he finally reached the lip. The line stayed where it was near the back of the bookshelf near the wall for easy access while Hero tiptoed to the middle of the bookshelf lip and stood as he looked past the enormous blankets and comforter at Sam. The device in the human boy’s hands was black with one side red and one side blue and, seemingly, possessed all of his attention.

 All of his attention, that is, until he sighed heavily, shoulders slumping, and set down the device in his lap to stare at the ceiling. Sam went to raise the device again when his eyes caught sight of the small boy he saw just yesterday afternoon. Immediately, his hands flew up to his head, dropping the electronic box in his lap, to push his headphones from his ears onto his neck – all while not breaking eye-contact with Hero.

 Hero watched the boy jolt into action, which made his heart jump and start mercilessly pounding in his chest. The Borrower boy held his breath reactively as that strange rectangular block was set down and the things from Sam’s ears were removed. His skin felt as though it were on pins and needles and squirmed under the human’s gaze. That little voice in the back of his mind warned him to run and hide, but Hero instead stood his ground. Heroes were supposed to be brave after all.

 Still, he was more than thankful that Sam was the one who spoke up first, not knowing what exactly to say to him now that he was standing in front of him.

 “Woah, you’re actually real.” These were dangerous words that sent chills up Hero’s spine. As his panic and nerves attempted to overthrow him, Hero took a calming breath and smiled.

 “Hello Sam,” he said, trying to speak up. “I… er… I’m back, just like I said.”

 Sam pulled the cushioned device off of his neck and set it to the side along with the colorful rectangle. Then, quite suddenly, began scooting down the length of his bed toward Hero. The rapid lunging motion made Hero’s heart skip a beat and instinctually he attempted to take a step backwards; however, his back was already pressed against the back of the bookshelf.

 The smile on his face must’ve changed into a look of sheer and instinctual panic because Sam suddenly stopped advancing when he was a couple of feet away. Sam’s eyebrows scrunched on his face as he squinted to better read the facial features of the sandy brown haired, green-eyed Borrower. The human boy now looked confused as the slightly panicking Hero tried to get a hold on himself.

 “Are… you okay?” asked Sam, now holding still. Hero swallowed dryly, a lump trying to restrain his breathing, and forcefully nodded.

 “Y-yes,” stammered Hero. “Just… startled is all. I didn’t know you’d get so close so fast. But it’s okay. Sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.” Sam looked mildly taken aback, a partial grin tugging on the side of his mouth.

 “You’re apologizing to me? After admitting I’m the one who spooked you. Wow, you’re weird,” said Sam. Hero felt his ears get warm and he averted his eyes. No one said being a hero would be easy. He thought to himself.

 Sam looked away and, after a nervous chuckle and seeing Hero’s reaction, continued. “Naw, I’m… the one who should say sorry. I just didn’t know if you were real or not and wanted a closer look. Sorry. And… uh… thanks for the other day. Finding my inhaler.”

 Hero felt the hair stand up on the back of his neck. His tensed shoulders suddenly seemed lighter, like a weight had bee pulled off of them. Thanks. I got a thank you. My first one!

 The fluttering nervousness and panic almost instantly evolved into excitement as Hero looked back up in time to see Sam looking up at him. This time, his eye-contact felt reassuring and a small swell of pride grew in Hero’s chest. Hero couldn’t stop the ear to ear smile he now had on his face.

 “You’re welcome. I’m just glad I was able to help in time,” replied Hero, hands clasped around the straps of his backpack.

 “Yeah, me too,” chuckled Sam. The boy cocked his head to one side and eyed Hero again. “So, what exactly are you? I mean, where did you come from? And why are you so small?”

 The human boy’s rapid firing of questions put Hero on the spot, making him feel a little nervous again. Hero had already come up with a few things he shouldn’t say for the protection of his family and his kind, but he wanted to be honest at the same time.

 “I… well. I’m from here. I’ve always been this size, but I’ll get taller soon. Maybe not as tall as you, but taller for me,” replied Hero, glossing over the first question which seemingly went unnoticed by Sam.

 “Wow, so you’ve always been…” Sam used his thumb and index finger to mimic Hero’s height. Hero nodded.

 “Yep, but I’ll get taller soon,” reiterated Hero. Sam bit his lip and nodded.

 “So, what are you called? Like, what are you?” Hero hoped he wouldn’t have to answer this question, but Sam seemed intent on knowing. He didn’t need to know about Borrowers. He just needs something to call me. At least, that’s what I hope anyway.

 “Well… I’m… uh… Hero,” said the green-eyed boy.

 “A Hero?” asked Sam.

 “No. Well, yes. I’m a hero, at least I’m trying to be, but that’s also my name – Hero.” Sam gave the Borrower boy another curious look.

 “You’re a hero? And your name is Hero? Don’t heroes have to be, you know, big? With capes and stuff? I mean, you don’t have a costume or powers or anything,” asked Sam. Hero bit his lip before puffing out his chest and standing just a little bit taller.

 “It doesn’t matter what size a hero is. A hero is anyone who can make a difference to someone else – and that’s exactly what I’m doing. You don’t have to have a cape or be big. There are people who don’t have those and help every day,” said Hero firmly and proudly.

 “Isn’t that hard for someone like you though? How do you even get around? Is it with that hook thing I saw you with last time?” asked Sam, drinking in Hero’s answers and giving him every ounce of his attention. Hero nodded.

 “Yeah, I use it to get around. I have to climb from place to place; and it isn’t that hard once you get the hang of it,” replied the Borrower. Sam looked at him in complete fascination and awe.

 “Wow, that sounds dangerous and really cool,” muttered Sam, now glancing away from Hero for the second time since his arrival. “I wish I could do stuff like that.”

 “Well, you can! I mean, it’s like I said. You can be a hero too,” encouraged Hero with a thoughtful smile. At this, Sam shook his head.

 “No, not really. I can’t do all of the climbing and stuff; plus my asthma gets in the way of pretty much everything,” muttered Sam, a hint of frustration in his tone.

 Asthma? What’s asthma? Hero’s bubbling curiosity from so many unanswered questions couldn’t be contained. He asked me a lot of questions. Maybe he could answer some of mine.

 “Hey, Sam, sorry for asking, but what’s asthma?” asked Hero. Sam glanced back up at his newfound green-eyed friend.

 “You’ve never heard of asthma?” asked the boy, to which the Borrower shook his head. “Wow, you’re pretty lucky then. Asthma is just a thing I have. It means I have trouble breathing if I get too excited or if I breathe dust or things like that. There’s a lot that happens, but mostly it’s just the breathing thing.”

 “Wow. I couldn’t imagine not being able to breathe. So, you can’t climb or run or anything?” asked Hero. Sam shook his head. “Not really. The doctors said I could grow out of it, but that might not be for years.”

 “Doctors?”

 Hero hadn’t realized he asked the question until Sam started to answer. “Yeah, they work in hospitals and take your blood and listen to your heart and breathing and give you medicine to take so you can get better.”

 Hero felt the color drain from his own face. “They take your blood?! Do they give it back? Or do they just keep it?” At this, Sam started laughing.

 “Yeah, that’s one way how they can tell what’s wrong with you. They look at your blood. They don’t give it back; and don’t look so worried, it’s just a little bit.”

 Hero had to admit he was completely fascinated. The thought of just looking at blood from a scratch and knowing what was wrong was astounding. Humans really were incredible.

 “So, a hospital is where you go if you’re sick and need to see a doctor?” asked Hero, to which Sam nodded.

 “Yeah. It’s not fun, but sometimes you get a sucker at the end, so I guess it’s not all bad,” replied Sam. “Do you not have doctors?”

 Hero shook his head, his sandy brown hair flopping back and forth slightly. “No, but w… I don’t get sick too often, so it’s not a problem.” Hero hoped Sam wouldn’t notice his partial slip-up.

 “Lucky,” murmured Sam. They sat in an odd silence for a minute or so, at which point Hero suspected it was time to leave.

 “Well, I’m glad you’re doing better now Sam. Um… I’m sorry, but I have to go now,” said Hero, taking a moment to readjust the pack on his back. Sam looked instantly disheartened.

 “No, don’t go yet,” pleaded Sam. “Can’t you stay for a little bit longer? We can keep talking or I can show you my game or get a snack. I don’t know. I didn’t tell anyone about you if that’s what you’re worried about. Do you really have to go?” Hero, bombarded with so many new and exciting options, wasn’t quite sure how to respond. He knew he needed to leave and that he shouldn’t stay for too long, but Sam seemed like he wanted someone to talk to.

 “Well,” started Hero. “Since you didn’t tell anyone about me, I guess I could stay a little longer; but then you have to let me leave. I have more hero work to do.” Sam, elated, grinned broadly.

 “Great! Which one do you want to do?” asked Sam. Hero thought for a moment. He knew Sam had a lot more questions, and Hero had questions too; but, he didn’t want to give too much away.

 “Um… why not show me your game?” prompted Hero as he sat down on the bookshelf lip, slipping his pin and backpack off to his side. Sam nodded and reached over to the small rectangular device he was holding earlier. The motion was so quick it made Hero’s head spin. He could only imagine how fast Sam could be if he put his mind to it.

 Sam hesitated, glancing at Hero before asking, “Is it okay if I get closer? That way you can see the screen?” Hero waited a second before giving his permission with a brief nod. Sam’s smile returned as he turned around, his immense back to Hero, and scooted backwards until his back was against the bookshelf like Hero’s back. What was once two feet of distance changed to two inches, but this time didn’t unnerve Hero like it had before. Sam was safe – at least that’s what Hero believed about the human boy.

 For the next half an hour, Sam explained the levels and the game. The Borrower learned this thing was called a “Switch” and had lots of games on it. One with “cars,” one with little rings, and one where you solve puzzles and farm. It was a nifty little device and, by the end, Hero felt a pang of sadness that he had to leave.

 This time, Sam didn’t resist and, instead, offered to help Hero leave instead of climbing to wherever he needed to go. Hero had to admit it was tempting to not have to scale the entire top half of the bookshelf, but just the thought of stepping onto a human palm made his insides weak with nervous butterflies.

 Hero thanked Sam for the offer but elected to climb instead. Sam was obviously disappointed but understood. It was perfect timing. Sam’s parents just arrived and were calling his name. The human glanced back at Hero and gave a small wave.

 “Bye Hero. Will I see you again?”

 “I hope so,” replied Hero as he tugged on the line to make sure it was secure.

 “Tomorrow?”

 “I don’t know. I’ll come as soon as I can, promise.” Satisfied with the answer, Sam nodded, pushed himself off of the bed, and left the room for Hero to ascend the line and vanish into the walls once again. The experience was a success in Hero’s mind. Talking to a human was still very scary, but Sam seemed to understand Hero wasn’t a plaything; and he hoped it would stay that way.

 Hero had heard stories from others about humans tricking Borrowers into coming out, talking, showing themselves, before being captured or persuaded to stay. Hero knew he was young, but he hoped he could make the right decision and stay vigilant.

Continue

Previous

Beginning

[angel-tries-to-write]

New life from the darkness: Light reveals the end

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan Rating: Teen and up Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Hanji Zoë, Eren Jäger x Mikasa Ackerman Word count: 3271 Genre: fluff, humor

A very free form in a very alternate universe, where Eren actually did nothing wrong, titans were defeated somehow else and all my main ships are real, alive and happy.

The day was exceptionally hot, to the point when even the slightest movement was making people sweat incredibly. Yet the work had to be done, but everyone was seeking even the slightest possibility of getting cooler, so when Connie got rid of his shirt, his friends followed his idea. It seemed great at the beginning, lack of clothes really helped to bear the temperature, but it quickly turned out that basically every person in this squad was incredibly good looking, so everyone who had any crushes, kept staring at them, while they should be working. Levi, being a master in hiding his feelings and pushing them aside, had to constantly remind them of working and it was the only thing that could actually make them do what they were supposed to do. Otherwise they all would just stare: Eren and Jean at Mikasa, Mikasa at Eren, Connie at Sasha, Sasha at food and occasionally at Connie, Armin at Annie and Annie at Armin. Only Levi and Hanji weren't that obvious, though it was possible to catch them stealing some glances.

At some point it turned out that this staring did some good, when Eren dared to stop what he was doing and approached Mikasa, who refused to take off her red scarf. It was still warm, despite being worn almost every day through all these years, so it was making her even more hot and not in terms of looks. Unfortunately she could be really stubborn sometimes. Eren was the first one to notice she didn't look good, therefore he decided to confront her.

“Mikasa” the young man spoke with his calm yet firm voice.

“What happened, Eren? Is something wrong?” she asked, looking at him. She was clearly exhausted, her face was all red and sweaty, it was obvious she was extremely uncomfortable.

“Yes. Give me that” he unwrapped the red scarf from her neck and while her black eyes were expressing shock and betrayal, she immediately looked better. “I understand and appreciate that you want to wear this, but it's way too hot for that and I'm not going to let you hurt yourself.”

“Eren, I—” she tried to protest, but her voice died down her throat. First of all, she knew he was right. Second of all, she realized that a very shirtless, very sweaty, very muscular and deadly handsome Eren was standing really close to her. Loose strands of his hair that escaped his bun were sticked to his forehead and neck, his turquoise eyes stared deep into her soul, his face was serious and worried, and beads of sweat were running down his broad chest and toned abs.

“You know I'm right” he stated gently, trying to show her he wasn't angry, just concerned about her well-being.

“Y-yes, I know” she admitted quietly.

“Oi, brats, get back to work!” Levi scolded them.

“I'm keeping it for now” Eren squeezed his hand around the scarf more firmly. “But once it's cooler, I'll wrap it up for you again, I promise” he smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear, and left to continue his work, before the captain got angry at him. Mikasa stared at him with loving gaze for a while, then picked up her task again. It was suddenly much easier to work, now that she didn't have her scarf. Maybe Eren was right, after all.

When the sun set, the air cooled down, so it was time to rest. Obviously after a mandatory bath, because Levi was ready to beat the crap out of everyone who dared to stay sweaty and smell. For the first couple of days they tried to keep the old rules, so they had to bathe separately, but after Mikasa and Annie called Levi out for breaking the rules himself by bathing Hanji, they decided to give up. Besides, through all these years everyone grew so close to each other, that nudity stopped being any taboo. After all there were more terrifying things in the world than seeing your friends naked. So when the evening came, everyone but Levi, who hated to bathe with others, and Hanji, who was too busy to bathe when everyone else did, were sitting in the cold lake, chilling after a tiring day. Jean, Connie and Sasha were talking about some weird stuff that only the three of them could understand, no one else was actually paying attention to them, Mikasa was washing Eren's long hair, Armin was lost in thoughts and Annie just sat next to him unamused, just like Levi she didn't like to bathe with others, but she was doing it for Armin.

“Why do you always do that?” she asked finally, looking at Mikasa. The black haired girl looked at her former rival, her expression was quite ambiguous.

“I simply like it” she replied casually.

“Washing my hair or testing captain's patience?” Eren chuckled, actually knowing the answer.

“Both.”

“He's always mad when he sees us like that. He knows we're breaking the rules and not breaking them at the same time.”

“That doesn't make any sense, you can't do those things simultaneously” Armin spoke, getting out of his own world.

“But we do. We are closer than it's allowed, yet we don't do anything inappropriate” Eren explained, but his best friend still wasn't convinced.

“I don't know, man. That still doesn't make sense.”

“Armin is right, that sounds stupid” Annie agreed. Suddenly Sasha stood up and left the lake, with no reason.

“Leaving already, Sash?” Mikasa asked, looking at her friend.

“I'm hungry” she answered, drying herself with a towel. Now that explained everything.

“You're always hungry” Jean rolled his eyes.

“Not always!” Sasha protested. “Just most of the time...”

“Right, because that's so different.”

“It is!”

“Stop it, Jean, leave her alone” Connie poked his best friend in the ribs with his elbow.

“Ow! What the hell, man? That hurt!”

“It didn't, stop being a crybaby, you've had worse.”

Eren opened his mouth to say something, but he quickly shut it, biting his lower lip when Mikasa pulled his hair. It worked every time. But apparently this time Jean was in the mood for picking up fights.

“I saw it, Jäger.”

“I didn't say anything!”

“But you wanted to!”

“What is your problem? Are you jealous again?” Eren looked at him intensively.

“He totally is” Connie laughed, shamelessly exposing his friend.

“Well, it's not my fault Mikasa loves me. You know you can't change her feelings, I've tried for years and nothing worked. And thank goodness, I was such an idiot” he smiled fondly, looking at his girl. “But I'm sure you'll find someone one day too.”

“Yeah, man, don't worry” Connie agreed with Eren. “Love is always unexpected, you never know who and when.”

“Fuck you. Both of you” Jean stood up and joined Sasha, who was almost fully dressed and ready to go.

“Ew. I don't judge, but I personally prefer girls” Connie joked, trying to not be obvious which particular girl he had in mind.

“Yeah, if I ever allow anyone do that, it'll be only Mikasa” Eren said more bluntly and shamelessly, making said girl blush. She pulled his hair hard enough to look him in the eye. “Ow, that hurts!”

“Good, it's supposed to hurt. Shut your mouth before you say something you will regret” she warned him, finished washing his hair and let him go.

“Alright, alright, I'll be good” he promised, sitting up. Armin chuckled, watching them. “What?”

“Nothing. I just remember how you always rebelled against anything she said, yelling she's not your mom, and now you obey her without batting an eye.”

“I've just realized it's better to listen to her instead of fighting and then admitting she was right, like I used to do.”

“You've clearly grown up since then” the blonde said, looking at his friends affectionately.

“We've all grown up. I can't believe how fast time flies. I feel like yesterday we were little kids, and now? Just look at us” Eren looked at his friends with nostalgia all over his face.

“I don't know. I prefer you now” Mikasa smiled lovingly.

“Alright, I'll leave you, lovebirds” Connie raised his hands in a gesture of surrender and left.

“I think I should be leaving too. I'm cold” Annie complained, but made no move, clearly waiting for Armin, who didn't take a hint.

“I can warm you up” he blurted out instead, then he realized everyone was staring at him with wide eyes. It was unlike him to say something suggestive, he was usually too innocent for that. “No, I mean... I don't... not like that... ugh” he tried to explain, but ended up stumbling over his words, so he quickly left the lake.

“Armin, wait” Annie followed him, she actually liked when he wasn't so innocent.

“Maybe not everyone grew up” Eren chuckled, watching his best friend's embarrassment.

“Or not everyone is as shameless as you” Mikasa pointed out.

“I'm not... Alright, you have a point.”

“Are you guys coming or not?” Connie asked, looking at the couple.

“Nah, we'll chill out for a little more, but you can go” Eren answered, closing his eyes.

“Captain will be furious when he finds out you're here all alone.”

“I'll gladly fight him if it's necessary” Mikasa shrugged.

“As you wish.”

They waited for a few minutes until the rest of their friends walked away, before Eren approached his girl and kissed her passionately.

“Quick, we don't have much time” he whispered, pulling her on his lap.

“Oh, I'm sure you can use all your time properly” she smirked and kissed him again.

When they came back, captain was indeed furious.

“Where have you been?” he asked angrily, his hands were crossed and his eyes narrowed. The scars on his face were making him look even more terrifying.

“Oh, we decided to take a walk and watch the stars, sorry for being late” Eren lied smoothly. Mikasa hid her face in a red scarf her companion wrapped up for her, just like he promised.

“Get off my sight before I chop you to pieces” Levi growled, not buying it in a tiniest bit, but he didn't want to fight about it. Mostly because he had heard Hanji's footsteps behind him. The young couple quickly did as they were told.

“A walk, huh? Maybe we should take a walk too?” Hanji smiled widely.

“Not even a word, four-eyes. Don't you dare.”

The remaining time they all spent resting and preparing mentally themselves for the next day full of hard work, so in the morning they could wake up and continue their job. The only difference was that this time Eren wasn't working with them. He was taken somewhere by Hanji, who claimed they needed his help. And that was only partially not true, they actually needed it, but they also chose Eren for a reason: they wanted to spend some time with him. After all, those kids, Hanji and Levi grew somehow close, to the point they were almost like a family. And Eren, being a titan shifter for the longest time, sharing Hanji's impulsive personality and being bound to the Ackerman, no wonder he was their "favorite child", even now. Recently they didn't have much time to spend together, so Hanji decided to change that.

“You know, we've never even had a chance to talk, just the two of us, since all of this happened” Hanji said, breaking the silence they worked in.

“Yeah. And we used to spend quite a lot of time” Eren smiled with nostalgia. “I kind of miss us hanging out.”

“How are you doing?”

“I'm fine.”

“I mean it, Eren. Look at me and tell me in the eye that you are actually fine” Hanji looked at him seriously, their good eye expressed concern. They ditched their eye patch to help Levi feel better about his injuries, so their own bad eye was in full display, but none of 104th seemed to care.

“Honestly... I've been better” he admitted with a sigh. “If it wasn't for Armin and Mikasa, I don't know how would I take all of it” he was so embarrassed he couldn't even look at Hanji.

“I understand. You know, on the one hand, I'm glad that titans are gone and we're finally safe, but on the other hand... I miss them” they smiled sheepishly when Eren looked at them surprised. “Don't look at me like that. I've spent so many years researching them and doing experiments, they felt like a part of me. I can imagine it must be hard for you too, since you've been a titan yourself.”

“And I hated it.”

“So did I.”

“But you do have a point. I guess I sort of miss it too, mostly being powerful. It's been so long that I find it hard to get used to being normal again. Last week Mikasa saved my leg from being chopped off, because I forgot I can't regenerate it anymore, so I wasn't careful enough. If she wasn't there... I guess she was right saying that without her I would die a very tragic and a very young death” he smiled fondly, thinking about the girl.

“You love her” Hanji grinned. “Don't even try to deny it. You have the exact same face as Armin when I ask him about Annie” they added, reading his expression.

“Armin and Annie...?” he asked dumbfounded, he was so occupied by his own relationship, that he didn't even notice his best friend's one.

“Come on, don't tell me you don't see it. They're obviously into each other, but they're both too shy to act. I've been their matchmaker basically since we came here and nothing works. Either they are too difficult and stubborn, or I am too bad at this. Then I'm so glad you and Mikasa did it on your own. Sometimes I wonder how I, with one eye and glasses, can see more than them, both with pretty good sight.”

“But we're not—”

“Eren, please, do you think me and Levi believed in your last night's "sudden walk" lie? We're not stupid, we know you had a date, or something” Hanji deadpanned, looking at the young man with a very done expression. “You two are as obvious as Armin and Annie. But don't worry, we're not going to punish you, in fact, we are happy that you are happy, as long as you are responsible. Just better be careful, and here's a little tip for the future: Ackermans are screamers, have that in mind” they smirked.

“Yeah, I know” he answered. It was the moment when both of their brains started actually processing what they said.

“WAIT NO!” they screamed unison, then stared at each other shocked.

“How do you know that?!”

“What do you mean you know?!”

Another silent minute has passed before Eren spoke again.

“So you and captain...”

“Not a word, kid. If you tell anyone, I'll murder you. And if you think you should fear Levi, you just don't know me well enough” Hanji was deadly serious, saying these words and they were actually scary.

“I won't tell a word if you won't. Me and Mikasa don't want any trouble either.”

“So we have a deal.”

“Deal.”

They worked in silence before Eren spoke again, this time about something else.

“Hanji-san... Do you think the others... I mean, other than Mikasa and Armin... Do you think they hate me?” he asked, still unable to look them in the eye.

“Why would you even think that?” Hanji asked with shock.

“When Armin told me Mikasa loves me, I couldn't believe it at first. Even when she confirmed it herself, I still didn't think it was real. How could she loved me, when even I couldn't love myself? I wanted to do terrible things, I wanted to commit a genocide! I actually believed it was the right thing to do and I really wanted this. If it wasn't for you all... I don't know what would happen. How anyone can not hate me? How can anyone ever love me?” he asked, with every question his voice was breaking more and more. It was clear he needed support.

“Come here” Hanji pulled him close and hugged firmly. “We all love you, Eren. Levi would never want me to say it out loud, but you are like our children to us. All nine of you — I'm counting Ymir and Historia — are a part of our weird family and we really love you. We were killing for you, we would die for you, we would do anything to protect you.”

“Yeah... Sometimes... Sometimes I think that captain was a better dad than my actual father. Even though he seems to hate me, at least he taught me useful things and actually helped instead of causing problems and disappearing” Eren admitted, wiping his eyes and smiling sheepishly. “And while I could never forget my mom or stop loving her, I think you are quite a good parent too. I couldn't ask for better parent figures.”

“I can promise that Levi would burst with pride if he heard that. You know him, he can be harsh and rough, but that's because he actually cares, he just never learned to properly express his actual feelings. I'm so proud of you too and I'm very honored to hear that you consider me a good parent, because I don't see myself as one” Hanji confessed, holding back their own tears. “It's probably good, I'm supposed to be your commander, not your parent, but I can't help but feel bad about it.”

“You shouldn't. You're not a bad parent” Eren assured.

“You're not a bad kid yourself. Or a bad person. Just because you wanted to do something, it doesn't make you better or worse, because you didn't actually do that. You have no idea how many times I just wanted to get Levi and run away to spend the rest of our lives in peace, just the two of us. But I never did it, even when I learned that he shared my dream. He wanted to peacefully settle down as much as I did, even more after I barely saved him, yet both of us knew that our duties were more important. So we stayed and it was so worth it. Now we know for sure that in a few years, once we are done fixing it all, our dream will become our reality. And that's all that matters, you know? That we didn't run away, no matter how much we wanted to.”

“I want this too, you know? To settle down with Mikasa and just live a normal, boring life. Maybe even start a family one day...”

“Good luck. I personally feel like we're a bit too old and too scarred to start a family, other than just the two of us and you nine, our adopted children. Besides, with small children even two pair of eyes aren't enough sometimes, while me and Levi together have one pair” they chuckled. “But it will be nice to finally rest. It was worth to wait and always go back to fight for this possibility.”

“Thank you, Hanji-san. For helping me to get it all off my chest.”

“Any time, kid. Now let's get back to work before Levi wanders here and decides to judge or punish us” they laughed, but both of them were fully aware that if he only wanted, Levi actually would do that. Unless Mikasa got involved, then maybe they could stand a chance. A little one.

[mayans-sauce]

Watermelon 🍉🖤

Gif Credit: @angels-reyes

Pairing: Angel Reyes x Reader

Summary: You send Angel a little video of yourself to tease him.

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, masturbating, daddy kink and just a lot of sinful, filthy stuff.

Authors Note: This was so fun to write! I feel like I’m just sinning left and right. I hope you like it! I definitely did🥵🤤

💖Masterlist💖

When you woke up you were alone in your bed. Angel had been leaving early these last few days to go to the clubhouse to prepare for the upcoming run. You got up and put on his shirt, going downstairs to get something to eat. While sitting at the breakfast table your mind started to wander to last night and all the wonderful things Angel did to you. Clenching your thighs together when your pussy started to throb at all the wonderful memories. In the corner of your eyes you saw the lollipops that you bought yesterday sitting on the counter and you just got the most wonderful idea. Getting up from the chair you went over and looked at all the different candy’s. Your eyes immediately drifting towards the watermelon shaped one. Grabbing it your sprinted towards your shared bedroom. Wanting to get just the right outfit for the little video you were planning to make.

When you got to your closet you started to scan for just the right thing to put on. Your eyes landed on the cute, pink bra that you only wore when you wanted to tease Angel and be his good little girl. Removing the shirt, you put the bra on and got rid of your panties as you really didn’t need them for the little show you were going to put on.

Walking towards the bed you laid down and with the help of some books you manage to adjust your phone so that it had a glorious view of your pussy and your face. Pressing record on your phone you got into position. Sucking on the tasty watermelon lollipop. Moaning out at the sweet taste of the sugar. You bring the lollipop down to your pussy and start circling your clit painfully slow. “Fuck daddy... it feels so good”. Picking up the pace you start to let out sweet whimpers and moans at the delicious feeling of the lollipop on your little jewel. “Are you going to let me cum?” you said sweetly to the camera. You brings the watermelon up to your lips again to suck on it before you bring it down to you tingling clit once more. “Mmm.. it taste so sweet”. Picking up the pace of the lollipop, you bring your other hand to your clothed breast. “Do you want me to cum for you daddy?” you said, the euphoric feeling so close. “Fuck I’m going to cum Angel”. But just as you were about to let go you stopped your movements, bringing the watermelon lollipop into your mouth again to suck on it for a few seconds. “Mmm.. it taste so good.. both the lollipop and my sweet little pussy that you love so much”. You let out a sweet little giggle at how fucking horny and needy you were for your man. “If you want me to cum for you like this Angel please let me know and I’ll happily do it”. You blowed a kiss to the camera and pressed end on the recording. Oh Angel was going to kill you for this. Picking your phone up you found his contact and started typing away.

~~~~

To Daddy💖💖

Just a sweet little video for you daddy. I hope you like it. I’m so fucking horny for your tongue right now🥵 let me know if you want me to continue☺️💖

*video*

~~~~

Pressing send you start to get butterflies in your stomach, wondering what his reaction was going to be.

Angel was currently at the clubhouse. Him and the guys were just chilling, drinking some beers. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Quickly he took up his phone and saw a notification from you. Opening the message he saw your text and a video that you had sent him. His eyes widened when he saw the dirty text you had sent. Assuming that the video was just as dirty he excused himself from the others, not wanting them to see what he clearly thought was you touching yourself for him. Once he got outside and there were no one around he open the video. His eyes getting dark with lust, and his jeans getting tighter as he watched you do those sinful things to yourself and calling his name so beautifully. Once the video ended he sent you a message. He was so horny right now and he wanted you to finish for him while he jerked himself off.

~~~~

To My Baby😍❤️

I’m going to Ez’s trailer and you are going to show daddy how you finish. Get yourself ready baby girl! I’m calling as soon as I get there🍆💦

~~~~

Your heart skipped a beat when you saw the message from Angel. You got into position again, your pussy tingling in anticipation. You couldn’t wait so you started to tease your clit a bit with your middle finger, the lollipop hanging from your mouth.

Once Angel got to the trailer he went into the little bathroom. Pulling his jeans and boxers down, he spit into his hand and started to stroke his cock, watching the video again that you sent him. He wanted to cum just by that video alone but he knew that you were waiting for him so when the video ended he called you on FaceTime.

You answered the call and he was meet with the beautiful view of your glistening pussy. “Fuck baby girl you a driving me fucking wild”. You let out a giggle, seeing the desperate look in his eyes. Oh damn you really got him hot and bothered. “Are you going to let me cum now daddy?” You asked in a sweet voice. “I want you to suck on that lollipop and then bring it down to your clit and make yourself cum like that. You think you can do that for daddy baby girl?”. You nodded you head.

You started to suck the lollipop into your mouth again while your finger was still teasing your clit, rubbing it in painfully slow circles. Bringing the candy down to your wet pussy. Wanting to tease Angel a little, you slapped the lollipop against your clit a few times, the sensation making you jump up a bit. Angel was tired of your teasing. He just wanted you to cum for him so that he could cum as well. “I’ve had enough of your teasing today little girl. Now rub that sweet candy on your clit and cum for me” he said in a stern voice. Doing exactly as he told you, you started to rub your jewel with the watermelon. “I want to see your cock daddy please”. He put the phone down so that you could see him stroking his cock and his face contour in pleasure. You moaned out at the sight. “I’m going to cum Angel”. “Fuck.. you look so beautiful like this baby”. Throwing you head back in pleasure, you were about to have you release. “Look at me baby. I want you to look at me while you cum”. Looking at him you started to circle your clit faster. “Angel I’m cuming.. I’m cuming”. “Let go baby girl”. You reached your climax, your head thrown back at the intense orgasm, your eyes clouded with starts at the delicious feeling. You heard Angel groan as white ropes of cum coated his hand. His other hand holding himself up against the bathroom wall. His pleasure just as intense as yours.

Both looking at each other as you came down from your high, the only sound that could be heard was both of yours heavy breathing. Angel was the first one to break the silence. “Damn baby that really was something” he chuckled out. Bringing the lollipop to your lips you sucked your juices of, moaning at your own taste. “It was really good”. “Baby if you keep sucking on the lollipop like that you are going to get me hard again”. You giggled out at how fucked out he looked. “Why don’t you come over here and fuck my pussy with that hard cock then”. “Fuck.. I just need to finish up something with the guys real quick and then I’ll be right over baby”. Wanting to tease him even more you brought the candy down to your sensitive clit again. “Hurry up then daddy” you said and then ended the call. “Oh you little tease” he muttered to himself, getting himself cleaned up and hurrying himself home as fast as he could so that he could fuck you into next week.

~~~~

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added): @starrynite7114 @sugary-x-sweet @everyhowlmarksthedead

[luckysevenwrites]

Did you seriously order a bright blue couch?

Y/n can’t stop thinking about their meeting with Johnny they had the other day and is over the moon when Johnny offers to come over and help them unpack. But they’re just freinds that it’s nothing more...

Part of the long term couples series 

Staring at your phone you will it to ring or to at least give you a ding letting you know that you got a text message. Yesterday when you had met Johnny you were surprised to say the least. You knew that he was from South Korea but had figured that he was still living in Chicago. You had not expected to see him in the same coffee shop as you in Seoul. Catching up with him was good though. No, it was better than good it was great. You always liked Johnny, you found him easy to talk to, and he was funny. When the two of you were in school together, he was always making you laugh. You were glad to find out that even with the years apart the two of you were able to fall right back into that comfortableness that you had shared.

           Which is why you were waiting for him to contact you. You could just contact him yourself. The two of you had agreed to stay in contact but you didn’t want to come off as needy. Besides, you were sure that he was busy. You didn’t know what being an idol all entailed but you figured it meant having a crazy schedule with not a lot of free time. Still, you wanted to see him again and you weren’t sure if it was because you had those old feeling for him coming back up or if it was because you were lonely, and he was the only person that you knew here.

           Groaning at yourself you push your phone away from you and tell yourself that if you don’t hear from him by the afternoon you can then message him. You’ll just ask if he is having a good day and if he would like to get together sometime. Keep it causal and simple you tell yourself. Moving into your living room you start to unpack one of the many boxes that liters your living room. You didn’t think that you would have that much to unpack since you were leaving most of your stuff in America, but you surprisingly had a lot of stuff delivered. You wondered if that was your mothers doing. She was probably worried about you not having enough stuff and convinced your father that they needed to send you more than what you asked for.

           Opening the box, you saw it was filled with clothes. Pulling it towards your bedroom you start to search for your hangers that you had bought the other day. It was as you were searching through your things that you heard your phone ping. Rushing towards your phone you try to hurdle one of the boxes and almost face plant it. You shove the box aside as you reach out for your phone and cannot stop the excited squeal that comes out of your mouth that is followed by a little dance of happiness. Johnny messaged!

Johnny: It was good seeing you yesterday. How did you sleep last night?

Y/n: It was good seeing you too. I slept fine. I’m still getting use to the time change but I’ll get there.

Johnny: What are your plans for today?

Y/n: I’m going to work on unpacking my things

Johnny: Do you want some help?

You bring your phone to your chest and dance around in a circle. Johnny wants to come to your place and help you unpack. Johnny Suh is going to come to your place and help you unpack. What universe are you in? How did you manage to get another chance at Johnny?

Y/n: that would be great!

Johnny: send me your address and I’ll come over with coffee

           You send him your address and smile down at your phone. Johnny is on his way to your place. Shit! Johnny is on his way to your place, and you have not even changed out of your pajama’s. You run to your bedroom and change into more appropriate clothing. For a split second you debate doing your make up and hair but remember what your mother told you when you were younger and something that you have always lived by, ‘show them the real you and if they don’t like that then that is their loss, not yours.’

           Moving back out into the living room you nervously move around your apartment. You tell yourself to relax this is Johnny. You know him, you talked to him yesterday and countless times before that. So, you need to chill out. You move towards another one of your boxes forgetting about the one in your room that needs unpacking and look for one that has things that can go in your living room. You find a box filled with books and picture frames and start to unpack that. As your breaking down the box you hear a knock on your door. Your stomach does somersaults as you make your way towards the door.

           Opening the door Johnny is standing there in dark jeans, a white t-shirt, and sunglasses. A coffee carrier is in his one hand. He smiles at you and all your nervousness washes away. You return the smile and move aside, telling Johnny to come in. He enters slipping his shoes off and making his way into your place. He sets the coffee’s down on the table, picking one up he hands it to you before reaching for his own. You take a sip of the ice coffee and sign in joy. You really love coffee.

           “Thank you for bringing me coffee. I haven’t gone and bought myself a coffee maker yet,” you tell Johnny as you take another sip of the drink.

           “That would have been the first thing I purchased. What did you buy over a coffee maker?” Johnny questions as he looks around your apartment.

           “A couch which should be arriving sometime today,” you tell him. Johnny hums as he moves towards one of your open boxes and peers inside.

           “Where would you like me to start?”

           “How good are you at putting things together?” Smiling at him you move towards the bookshelves that have yet to be assembled.

           “Great at it,” Johnny moves towards the bookshelves and gets to work.

           For the next few hours, the two of you work on getting your place unpacked and put together. You tell Johnny about all the different places that you have moved to with your family and how you are looking forward to having this job for a while and staying in one place. Johnny tells you how he became an idol and about his trainee days. You laugh at some of the stories that he shares with you and have him play some of his group’s music. You like it and make a mental note to watch the music videos when you get a free chance.

           “I’m starving and the couch should be here soon. Let’s order some food,” you suggest looking over at Johnny who is hanging up one of your pictures for you.

           “About time I was thinking that you were going to never feed me. I know of a place that will deliver to here do you want to look at the menu or do you want me to surprise you?” Johnny pulls out his phone and starts to place his order.

           “Surprise me,” you tell him. As Johnny is placing the order your couch arrives. The delivery men bring in the couch and set it in one of the few open spaces you have in your place before leaving.

           “Did you seriously order a bright blue couch?” Questions Johnny. He watches you pull of the plastic from the couch and throw yourself onto the overstuffed couch that is in fact a bright blue. It’s almost what some would call an electric blue.

           “I did,” you sing, “isn’t it great!” Johnny moves towards the couch he looks it over before taking a seat on it next to you. You swing your legs over Johnny’s thigh and snuggle more into your couch. You can tell that he does not like the couch, but you don’t care you loved it the moment you saw it. Sure, it doesn’t go with anything that you have in your place, but you still wanted the couch and it’s extremely comfortable.

           “It’s extremely comfortable but I would never have ordered it in this color.” He tells you. His face showing his disapproval at your color choice. You just shrug not caring that he hates your couch.

“It’ll grow on you and before you know it, you’ll be in love with my couch and will want one of your own.” Johnny shakes his head no and you just laugh. Just then your doorbell rings. Johnny moves your legs off him and answers the door.

           When he returns you have pulled your coffee table in front of the couch and are sitting on the floor, back resting against the couch. Johnny sits down next to you and starts to unpack the food. You look over the food that he is placing on the table. It all looks delicious, and your stomach lets out a loud growl. You blush in embarrassment as Johnny laughs at you.

           “Looks like I’m not the only one who was starving,” he hands you some chopsticks and the two of you dig into your food.

           As you eat you keep peeking over at Johnny. Watching him as he eats, looking at his hands, you tell yourself that you need to stop before Johnny catches on. Telling yourself that you can only glance at him one more time, you look up at his face and am greeted with Johnny staring right back at you. The two of you stare at one another neither of you willing to break eye contact.

           “You are so handsome,” you gush. Realizing what you just said your jaw drops and you can feel a blush spreading across your face, “did I just say that out loud?”

           “You did,” Johnny leans in towards you giving you a sly smile, “don’t worry though I like knowing that you find me attractive.”

           “I’m never going to live this down, am I?” You whimper as you bang your head down on the coffee table.

           “Nope,” you can hear the laughter in Johnny’s voice and while you are embarrassed you like the way his voice sounds. You’re about tell him if he keeps it up, you’ll never talk to him again when his phone goes off.

           Looking over at Johnny you watch as he reads the text message he got. He quickly types out a response. His smile fading a little as he types. Once the message is sent, he looks over at you. Resting his head on his hand he reaches out to you with his other hand tucks your hair behind your ear.

           “I have to get going. But I want you to know that I enjoyed today and that I want to see you again.”

           “I’d like that a lot,” you admit. “come on I’ll walk you out.”

           Together the two of you head towards the door. You watch as Johnny puts on his shoes. You open the door for him and step to the side to let him out. You lean against your door frame and Johnny turns back towards you. He looks you up and down and you wonder what he sees when he looks at you. Moving into your space Johnny tilt your chin up and he leans down towards you.

           “Just so you know I find you beautiful,” Johnny then steps back. He removes his hand out from under your chin and you watch as he walks away. Johnny finds you beautiful and he hates your couch. You smile thinking that this is the start to something wonderful, you can feel it.

[shelby-love]

STEFAN SALVATORE

Safely His

Requested: no

Prompts: none

Warnings: A bit harsh in the beginning (angsty)

Authors note: This is my first time writing a TVD oneshot. I'm sailing into the unknown and expanding my vocab yaay.

~

You walk out of the Grill on unsteady feet. The celebration round of alcohol you shared with Bonnie and Caroline made you tipsy but not tipsy enough for you not to be able to make your way back home.

You lean against the wall and fish out your phone. The light from your phone blinds you for a second before you turn it down and make out the numbers that indicate what time of the day it is. 11:23 P.M.

Not bad Y/N. Not bad at all.

Slowly but surely you're in front of your car with car keys still at the bottom of your purse.

"Maybe if you weren't such a lightweight drinker then you would be able to find your damn keys Y/N." You huff at yourself. When it comes to alcohol you should never ever be left unsupervised.

"Looking for something?" Someone asks from behind you. You freeze and stop rummaging through your purse. Instead, you grab the bottle spray with liquid vervain inside. It's kind of like your own pepper spray.

It works on both humans and the supernatural world you've come to learn about once the Salvatore brothers moved back to your hometown, Mystic Falls.

"Nope." You're quick to replay. Just as your brain commands your body to turn around the mistery person unleashes their inner beast onto you.

You're pinned against your own car with your mouth covered by the vampire's own hand. Your purse and the bottle of vervain dropped to the floor in the quick spur of motion.

"I'll have a great time with you." He whispers against your ear, his beard scraping the side of your face and sending chills of fear down your back. You've never felt this alone and cornered in your life. "I can smell your fear girl... But your blood is calling me more. It's such a shame you spiked it with alcohol. Now you'll have to pay for it in a different way."

The meaning of his words would've been confusing to you had you not learned about vampires from your own vampiric friends. You now knew exactly what he meant.

He was going to turn you.

Not because you deserved it or wanted it. But because of the fact that he was obsessed with this newfound power of his. This ability to take away someone's choice. To make them miserable for the rest of their lives.

He flushed you against his chest and sped over to the nearest lone spot he could find. A spot that would be private enough until he made you drink his blood and snapped your neck.

Fighting against him is impossible. Screaming is impossible because no one was around to save you.

Hoping that Caroline hears your whimpers of pain while she's surrounded by booze and music is already too much for you.

It's going to happen. And it's going to happen now.

You watch as he bites into his wrist and before you even get to let out a sound, his hand is replaced by his bloody wrist.

You refuse to let the blood travel past your tounge but he's twisting your throat in a way that makes you gag and swallow the blood immediately in order to release the pressure.

When he stops you close your eyes and wait for your neck to be snapped.

Instead, the man is no longer on you and instead he's on the ground. Bloody and neck snapped 90 degrees.

Your eyes search for your savior and you almost collapse in relief when Stefan appears in front of in a flash. Even in the night you can make out his features.

His hero-like hair, his dark eyes and beautiful facial features you learnt to adore from all the time you spent with him.

Your heart skips a beat and you allow him to cup your face into his hands. "I'm sorry I didn't get to you sooner."

You shake your head and throw your arms around him. After nesting your hand into the safety of the crook of his neck you allow yourself to be carried away to safety whilst whispering soft words of gratitude to the vampire.

***

You wake up in a place that's not your room and the more you look around the more you realised that you were in this room before.

This is Stefan's room.

You never really slept in his bed. Although you wanted to. The crush you had on Stefan was developing more and more as your friendship grew.

The sound of footsteps nears the room and you feel butterflies rise in your belly.

But then your eyes land on Damon and all the buttetflies leave in an instant.

"What do you want Damon?"

He smirks before fully leaning against the doorframe, his magically blue eyes taking in the sight of you in his little brother's bed. "Well...I heard about your little misfortune that happened yesterday. Thankfully my heroic little bro saved you and brought you here... To his room... So sorry if I'm a little bit surprised."

"Damon please leave her alone." You hear Stefan's voice.

"Whaat?" He acts fake surprised before smirking once again and wiggling his eyebrows for effect. "And leave her here to your mercy? No can do bro."

"Damon..."

"Alright, alright!" He throws looks between you and Stefan, who's hidden behind him. "I'll let you two lovebirds be."

When blush appears on your cheeks at his words, Damon takes it as a win. He mouths, you're whipped, before leaving you alone.

"How are you feeling?" Stefan comes inside the room with a cup of water in his hand and a painkiller in his other. He takes a seat next to you on the bed and hands you the water and painkiller.

"Better. Stefan, thank you..." You try to find the right words because saying thank you without any other words feels not good enough. But there aren't any other words than those two simple ones.

After all of the more dangerous things you've been through with your friends, this is the first time you felt truly scared for your own life. There aren't no words with which you would express your gratitude to him.

"You don't have to thank me Y/N." He replies simply and sits closer to you on the bed. When he places a hand over your and you don't pull it away, something in him switches. But in a good way. A very good way. "I don't want you to go through that ever again. No one should have to go through that."

It pained him to see you like this. It pained him to see you anything other than happy. It took him a near death experience with you to finally come to the conclusion that his feelings need to be out in the open. He knew that he wouldn't really loose you if you were changed last night but it didn't matter. You were going to be something he never wanted you to be unless you wanted it. And he knew you didn't want it.

"How did you know where I was?" You ask, unsure of that piece of puzzle.

Stefan shakes his head laughing. That part had to come out sooner or later.

"Caroline was very open about being drunk with you. And I know that your alcohol tolerance is..." He catches himself when he sees the murderous look you sent him. Any word other than horrible was going to work. "better than bad... So I guess I just wanted to make sure you got home safely."

You melted right then and there. He cares about me.

"And then I found your stuff on the floor. Including the vervain pepper-spray," He chuckles. "the rest you know."

"You really are a hero." You tell him laughing.

A somewhat awkward silence consumes the air around you as the two of you stay silent after your little remark.

"Stefan." ; "Y/N." Both of you speak up at the same time. Wierdly enough it brings a smile to both of your faces.

"You go first. I want to know your thoughts." You admit shyly.

Your words only make him scoot over on the bed until he's that much closer to you. "You want to know my thoughts? I want to kiss you right now."

And he does so. He cups your face in for a kiss you imagined a thousand times. He waits for you to return it and show him it's okay for him to do this.

And so you do.

You return it with the same passion, lulling him into it until you're both completely lost in each other. It's passionate and real. It's easily fifty times better than what your realest dreams could ever give you. It's a promise of love and safety. From Stefan to you and right back from you to him.

You forget about the world around you. The room, the day, the time and the event of last night leaves your mind completely. You occupy your thoughts with Stefan Salvatore. The guy that became your friend before he became your lover.

He pulls away just enough to look at your eyes and whisper. "You are something entirely else."

"Is that a good thing?" You whisper back in the same daze as he did.

"The best." And with that the last of his control breaks and he freely kisses you again and again after that. Making you feel amazing all over.

The next time someone tries to touch you in any way other than to shake your hand, things might get a bit messier than before.

Because you're completely and utterly safe now.

MASTERLIST