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brown-little-robin · 3 years ago

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21: Conversation

part one | previous | next | masterlist | ao3

Max Crandall makes cherry scones with homemade frosting for lunch. He makes them because it’s a difficult recipe and he wants to be distracted. And also because he suspects that Thad has a sweet tooth.

Baking is a comforting ritual. Follow the recipe. Locate all the ingredients. Measure them out. Mix them. Roll them. Bake them. Set the table. It’s a process that, unlike most things in Max’s life, can’t go wrong.

Max finishes pitting and chopping the cherries and scrapes them into the bowl.

He keeps glancing up at the door, waiting to see Thad there. Dread sits heavy in the pit of his stomach. It’s difficult to talk to Thad even on a good day. After yesterday… after all the misjudgments Max made… will the boy even listen to him? Max has to earn back Thad’s trust, but he also has to talk to him about yesterday. Breaking things cannot be Thad’s response to stress. Not with the power he has.

What a mess. Max is glad—sincerely—that Thad finally found the release of crying. But what a mess.

He slides the scones into the oven and sets the timer. Soon afterwards, he feels Thaddeus sit up. He’s been sleeping on the floor under his desk for the last few days. It can’t be comfortable, even with the nest of blankets Thad has made. Max has been thinking of asking about that. He suspects that sleeping in a bed is unfamiliar to Thaddeus. He hopes that’s why he sleeps on the floor.

Even if his coping methods are… unorthodox… Thad is getting better. When Thad first came to Max’s house, he was only awake about seven hours each day; now he’s usually up an hour before noon, and he goes to bed sometimes as late as eight thirty.

Thad comes into the kitchen just as Max is setting out the silverware. He sits in his usual chair, hands in the front pocket of his hoodie, slouching.

“Good morning,” Max greets him, setting the tray of scones on the potholders.

“Good morning,” Thad responds.

Max takes the potholders off his hands and sits down. Thad’s yellow eyes follow his every movement. The skin below his eyes is faintly purple, like a bruise. The sunshine-yellow of his eyes should make him look young and happy, as they do in Bart’s face, but somehow his eyes only look… animalistic. Wary.

How should he start? What can he say that won’t put Thad on the defensive?

Thad says, very dryly, “So, uh… yesterday was a mess.”

Max laughs out loud.

“Yesterday was a trainwreck.”

And then Thad laughs, not his usual bitter bark but a series of helpless giggles that set Max off again, and Max has never heard a more beautiful sound in his life.

Their laughter dies down comfortably. Thad takes a scone and eats with his hands. The boy’s eyes slide rapturously half-shut; he licks the frosting off his fingers. He seems very young in his brief flashes of happiness.

Max gathers his thoughts and speaks.

“I need to apologize to you.”

Thad glances at him in surprise.

“I put you in a bad situation yesterday. I shouldn’t have taken you to the dentist’s office in town, and I should have saved the phone for a better moment. And then I picked you up with no warning… what a mess. I’m sorry.”

Thad takes another scone and starts pulling it apart in his fingers, morsel by morsel. After a moment, he says quietly, “I’m sorry too. For… freaking out like that.”

“I forgive you.”

A wince crosses Thad’s face for a nanosecond.

“I don’t know why I broke the phone,” he says. “I mean, I don’t want to talk to Bart, but I do regret breaking the phone.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” Thad says wryly. “But we’re going to, aren’t we?”

“Can you tell me why you did it?”

Thad hesitates, then:

“Are you going to take my speed?”

Ah, this again. It’s been a while since Thad has asked that.

“No, Thad,” Max says, as gently as he can.

“I thought you might not. Because I surrendered, right?”

Surrendered? Max supposes that’s accurate. Thaddeus had certainly been frightened for his life there in the soybean field. His snarl had looked so ferocious that it had taken Max a moment to realize what had happened when his body stilled, the lightning dying down.

Max had stared at Thad’s face for a moment, staggered by the trust Thad had given him, before he’d picked the limp body up.

“No, not because you surrendered, although that was very brave of you. Because… I believe you deserve a chance to learn how to live with your powers. You’re… learning. You’re not trying to hurt anyone. You might mess up, but you have me to help.”

Thad’s still picking at his scone, avoiding Max’s gaze.

“I was afraid… you thought I was… out of control.”

Out of control, like an animal. Max hates the Thawnes so much.

“You’re trying,” Max says, more fiercely than he intended. “It’s not about control. That’s not—Thad, you’re my child. I love you. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Thad suddenly puts the scone down and throws his arms up, covering his face. Max feels more than hears him gasp.

Max looks away, giving Thad what privacy he can. The boy has so little. Let him keep his pride.

The boy recovers quickly. Apart from that single choked breath, he doesn't sob; when Max looks back, Thad’s eyes are dry. The boy runs a hand across his face, a strangely adult gesture.

“Sorry,” he says wearily.

“You don’t have to apologize.”

Thaddeus closes his eyes.

“You’re allowed to cry here,” Max tells him. “It’s healthy to let your feelings—”

“I know,” Thad interrupts. “I know. Working through trauma and expressing emotions in a healthy way. I read the psychology textbook.”

“It’s different when you’re living it,” Max points out.

Thad snorts. He looks as if he’s going to say something for a second, and then he shakes his head.

“What is it?”

“It’s just typical. ‘It’s different when you’re living it’.”

Thad vibrates through his chair and stands up, walks to the counter, stops abruptly.

“Different when you’re living it,” Thaddeus repeats, intense, and Max suddenly gets it.

The boy is thinking of the long deception. Of that stolen life when he lived as Bart. Max remembers what Iris Allen told him once: that Thaddeus Thawne watched Bart’s life through cameras, studying him with a chilling obsession. She said that Inertia memorized her book, The Life Story of the Flash, and quoted it furiously at her when he’d introduced himself to her. She’d been afraid of him then. Knowing about Bart’s dark twin wasn’t frightening, she’d said, when she knew he’d fail in the end. And even in that moment when Inertia exploded into her house with the force of a hurricane, she wasn’t afraid of death. But the twisted clone had memorized her own words and turned them into a weapon. He’d changed the timeline itself. The fact that her book pushed him to change history, to come raging to the past at the wrong point in time… that had scared her. Who knew what could have happened?

They’d thought for seven years that it had changed nothing. They thought that Inertia had merely hastened his own doom.

Thad, alive, turns, fingers tracing along the counter, and paces the circle through the kitchen. Max turns his head to follow his path from the counter to the stove, turns and sees Thad go from the sink to the door and back to the counter, around the island, prowling like a restless tiger.

“I know they abused me,” Thad says, on his second loop around the kitchen. “I know I have PTSD and depression. I know causes and symptoms and recommended treatments in various theoretical frameworks. But I don’t actually understand it.”

“How so?”

Thaddeus snorts. Max realizes that in a way, Thad’s bitter laughter is like crying. It acknowledges the wrongs done to him.

“I’m an intelligent person, Max. I know I used to be better than this. I’m used to being completely in control, and then things happen like yesterday and I can’t control it. My body freaks out about nothing and I’m just a passenger for a ride. I know it doesn't make sense, what I do, how I react to things. But I can’t help it. My body has a mind of its own, so to speak.”

He speaks with humor in his voice, but Max isn’t fooled. The boy expects to be punished for this. And it troubles Max that he’s drawn a distinction between his body—his feelings, his trauma—and himself, the logical, controlling mind.

“Thank you for telling me. I know it isn’t easy, admitting things like that… I’m proud of you, do you know that?”

Thad keeps pacing, twisting his wrist in his hand.

Max adds, “And, Thad, it won’t last forever. It’ll get better.”

“And what if I don’t get better? What if I just keep getting worse?”

Max sighs.

“Honestly, it is likely that it’ll get worse before it gets better. But we’ll deal with whatever happens. I promise.”

Thad keeps walking, silent. His throat works as if he’s going to speak, or cry, and his expressive face turns pained, as it always does when Max promises him something he doesn’t know how to receive.

“Do you want to understand your body better?” Max asks.

“Obviously.”

“I have some ideas for you. One is that you could talk to an expert in trauma.”

Thad stumbles, catches himself with a hand on the stove.

“A therapist? You mean therapy?” he asks, incredulous.

“Why not?”

“Because I was Inertia,” Thad says as if it’s obvious.

“Thad-boy,” Max says softly. “You’re not… you’re not… of course you can go to therapy. Therapy is for anyone who needs to talk about hard things with an expert. I’d be happy if everyone I ever fought with went to therapy.”

Thad shudders. Then he snatches his hand away from the stovetop and walks on.

“Can we not talk about this right now?”

“Alright,” Max says, then adds, “I appreciate your honesty, Thad.”

Thad shrugs and turns on his heel to pace the other direction. For a moment, they’re both silent, Thad prowling, Max watching him, the anchor to his restless chain.

“You had another idea?” Thad asks.

“We could do some research on PTSD. How would you like to visit a library?”

Thad stops. He’s behind Max, so Max turns in his chair to look at him. The boy’s eyes are wide. He doesn't speak.

Max speaks softly to him.

“What is it?”

Thad speaks in a hushed voice.

“You’d… take me to a library?”

“Well, sure.”

“But I…”

Max waits until it becomes clear that Thaddeus isn’t going to finish. Then he says, “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think you’ve done anything in the last two days that deserves any sort of punishment.”

Thad huffs.

“If Bart had done what I—” he starts, and Max interrupts before that thought goes any further. “You’re not Bart. Can you honestly tell me that you set out to cause any harm yesterday?”

Thad looks down, swallowing.

“…no.”

“Do you want to go to a library?” Max asks again.

A little hope sparks in Thad’s eyes.

Max suggests the North Metropolis Public Library. It’s one of the biggest ones in America, and if Thad ends up living with Joseph Wilson, he’ll be fairly near it. Thad agrees immediately, and it’s all going wonderfully until Max goes to pick Thad up and remembers yesterday.

The tussle was horrible, as fast and frightening as any fight between speedsters but somehow pathetic as well. Thaddeus wasn’t fighting like a killer, the way he’d shown himself capable of in the speed force; he was flailing like a terrified child.

“Are we going or what?” Thad’s voice snaps.

Max comes back to the present with a start. The boy’s heart is beating fast against Max’s chest. Max counts down for him. Thad gets even tenser as he counts and his eyes squeeze shut, but they reach the library without incident.

Max has been to the Metropolis library before and enjoyed it, but it’s as if he’s seeing it for the first time again when he walks in with Thad. The sunlight through the glass walls shines in his eyes and turns his blond hair into a bright halo. Thad looks at the spiral staircase as if he’s never seen one before, tilting his head up and up to stare up at the second and third floors. The library is made of glass walls and white and blue walls and lights everywhere; it’s not a single room full of books but a huge building full of space and light and plants and seats and cushions. It’s a building of three stories, not counting the basement. Max leads Thad upstairs to the non-fiction section, where Thad makes a beeline to the psychology section. He must have the Dewey decimal system memorized. Of course he does.

Thad handles the books awkwardly, as if he’s unused to the size and shape of them. Did he have books before he came to the present? Probably not. He must have been like Bart, getting all his information through virtual reality. Except he did have at least one book, didn’t he? The Life Story of the Flash. Max wonders if he was given a physical copy of it.

The boy selects six books, then asks if he can start reading. They wander around together until they find a good location, a corner of the library with some comfortable-looking chairs where a few people are reading. Thad gravitates to the extreme corner and sits with his back to the glass walls.

“Have fun,” Max says. “I’m going to look for some books of my own, if you don’t mind.”

Thad nods, already opening his first book.

#oh the part about Iris and Thad changing the past? that's canon #and it was EXTREMELY terrifying #The Strange Redemption of Thaddeus Thawne

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ballsballsbowls · 3 years ago

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So the best/worst part isn’t, shockingly, possibly 2 root canals in less than a year

It’s not even the fact that no quick fix means I’ll be in pain for a few more weeks (I spent about 5 weeks from diagnosis to root canal last time plus a week or so post-procedure to recover fully) and it’s the sort of brain-blasting pain that makes life MISERABLE.

It’s that my dentist genuinely, sincerely, has no idea why this tooth is all screwed up or what could even be MAKING it hurt, as he says the piece of tooth that chipped off is quite small.

You have to picture this 70ish year old guy flipping furiously between 3 x-rays taking at various points in the last 8 months (including one in mid december) and going, “But I don’t see any indication of a problem, at all, here look” over and over.

I went through a LOT of feeling yesterday, but I think so many of them are....a kind of despair? Just “okay, so one tooth that was probably a textbook case of a tooth that would eventually need a root canal and had been a problem for years, sure. But this tooth has, until the past 3 months, been a non-issue except for the fact that I broke a chuck off a few years ago. So now it’s, uh, FALLING APART, and will probably need a root canal, if it can BE root canaled, and even if it IS that’s no guarantee against the tooth falling apart later, is uh...

it’s PRESUMABLY an effect of covid (and teeth falling apart, like CRUMBLING, is certainly seen anecdotally).

Trump should, specifically, pay for me to get a dental implant, is what I am saying, as his particular horseshit about vaccines and masks is why this area is the way it is and why I have been ill the way I have been ill.

#I can;t decide if it's worse to be told the tooth is too brittle to be saved #or if I spend the time and money and headache to save it to have it snap in half in a year or so and need an implant #I should count myself lucky that I have the money to pay for it and that I have any dental insurance at all this year

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reidecorating · 4 years ago

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Venus & the Sun

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

A/N: I felt compelled to write this because the thought of Spence hating mornings keeps me up - which then causes me to also hate mornings because I’m tired, it truly is a tragic cycle. also! here’s my masterlist!

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: Dragging a grumpy & sleepy Spencer out to a picnic on the water where the view was far more than he bargained for

Warnings: Early mornings A tiny bit suggestive, but predominantly just fluff galore <3

Whether Venus is named the Morning or Evening Star depends on what side of the sun it indwells. When the planet glistens and gleams from the eastern sky, it’s a telltale sign it’ll rise before the sun - namely becoming the Morning Star. If Spencer had it his way, he would not be awake before midday on a Saturday morning. If Spencer had it his way, he would continue to snore for some while longer, dreaming - visions of a maladaptive cottage in the Swiss Alps, a handful of mountain goats sprinkled about tufts of unmown alpine grass - certainly not giving a second thought towards planetary placements of a cosmos he never wished to be part of. But Spencer did not have it his way this morning.

She always called Spencer her sun, but he believed that if this were to be true, she was his Venus; arising from the left side of his bed, sparkling and lighting up the world, most mornings, before he had even opened his eyes. The way in which she looked at him made him believe that the ancient Romans had been right about a deity of Venus, a goddess of love and beauty, his proof being the woman by his side. After wheedling him out of the comfort of rumpled sheets, with saccharine kisses and promises of more, at six o’clock, on the dot, she swept him away in a direction he recognised as towards the pier. It was the last place he would go in his free time, but because he was with her, he didn’t mind. As they journeyed on foot towards the sea, missing the growl of the car radiator, it became noticeable how winter lingered in the air, chasing joggers and haunting places where the daylight was yet to reach, as if it had unfinished business even Spring couldn’t prevent it from completing.

Spencer felt no remorse towards anyone he hurt in the mornings. The time he spent existing, before half a litre of caffeine was sent down to his kidneys for filtration, angered him. She knew it, too. Always giving him space as he grumbled, with furrowed brows, at anything that moves, often resorting to giggling quietly and observing his shenanigans from a distance - usually involving a wrestle with a hot jug. As they walked, his fingers found the spaces between hers, grasping firmly to prevent the crisp air from streaming through to their bones. She chuckled at the tender action contrasting his expression. “What?” He scowled humorously. “Oh, nothing,” she suppressed a smile. The scowl turned confused. “You’re just very adorable, even when you despise me,” she teased. “I don’t despise you, I actually love you very much,” the sentence rolled off his tongue like a statistic, “I despise being awake.” At that, a grin broke across her face. “In fact, I think that being awake at this hour should be criminalised, I’ll pass the bill myself,”

“Good luck getting a representative to sponsor that bill, Doctor President,”

“I work for the government. I have connections,”

“And they say this democracy isn’t corrupt,” she grimaced, only partly joking. She saw his laughter in a huff of foggy breath at her comment. “Anyway, when was the last time you had a proper breakfast?” She asked. Spencer thought about it for a moment. Yesterday, if espresso and inhaling air particles counts, he thought. “That… is a… trick question, pretty lady.” The corners of his mouth twitched from behind where his coat collar stood upturned, sufficing in the absence of a scarf, knowing that any answer he provided wouldn’t impress her. Without response, she just held his hand impossibly tighter, walking the tiniest bit quicker.

An unwieldily wicker basket dangled from his fingers, knuckles blue from the early air while they continued on their stroll along the promenade. “You can dismantle the patriarchy another day, Y/N. Please let me carry this for you,” Spencer had asked, insisting she carried the picnic blanket instead. Prevailing winds raced to hide within the drapes of his trench-coat, hiking it outwards behind him in the dramatic way it might if he were on a runway. Over the phone line, she would tell him, “Careful, you may be tempted to leave the BAU if you get scouted by Prada,” whenever she knew he was sat in a budget-meeting hotel room in Los Angeles or New York, wrestling with chopsticks and a container of cold noodles and undoubtedly working a case after hours. Never did he believe her, always taking her flattery with a grain of salt. “Absolutely not. For Givenchy though, I definitely might consider it.” She recalled his response. He acutely remembered the way she’d laughed on the other line, yearning to be the reason she did, forever. Admiring her lover, she struggled to comprehend how everyone in the world didn’t see the same things she saw. He had a beautiful soul. That’s what shone through every crack in his skin.

Brine toothed sea mist had corroded bolts on the wharf over time, the slight stench of rusted metal taking their nostrils time to adjust to. She began laying down the thick flannel sheet over the dewy wood, careful as to not fall over the edge. “Now, I know you prefer sunsets, but trust me, after today you will change your mind,” she chirped, patting down the blanket. Spencer thought he preferred being alone, she changed his mind on that also, and so, he trusted her words unapologetically. “I’m sure of it,” he beamed at her, placing the basket down with a soft thud before cracking his, now, nearly transparent knuckles. “You look like you’re freezing!” She half whispered and half yelled, rushing to take his hands, cupping his much larger ones in hers and puffing out warm breaths of air in order to thaw his joints. After all, the jacket around her shoulders was one that belonged to him, it was the least she could do. Shaking his head at her actions, completely enamoured by the way she fiddled with his fingers to provide some friction, he turned to glance at the hills in the distance, the night falling and stars dissolving into day, like granules of sugar in hot tea. He looked back at her, catching her eyes, already gazing up at him. “I sense you’re about to tell me something I don’t know about sunrises,” she tilted her head. “Close,” he nodded, grin wider than the horizon before them, “I was going to tell you about Venus.” Pointing at the remaining speck of glitter in the sky, he wrapped an arm around her. “The ancient Greeks and Egyptians actually believed that Venus was two separate celestial bodies. A morning star, which the Greeks called Phosphoros, ‘the bringer of light’, and an evening star, Hesperos, ‘the star of the evening’. It wasn’t until a few hundred years later, that they realised that Venus was actually a single planet.” She nodded along, absorbing the new information before cupping his jaw in her palms to feel his lips between her own. “What was that for?” Spencer giggled after pulling away, not opposed to the action. “Just proving to the goddess of beauty and love that I do, very much, love a beautiful person.” The dawn breaking illuminated the rose flush on Spencer’s cheeks. “Fun fact, it’s actually the hottest planet in our solar system. Kind of…” he swallowed looking down at his shoes for a brief moment, “kind of reminds me of you,” he smirked, still an amateur to the skill they call flirting. Shaking her head at him, flustered, she sat down on the sheet motioning for him to take a seat beside her, before unpacking the basket.

A small fishing boat coursed through the water, its hull parting the ocean from Atlantic to symmetrical fountain streams, which were immediately pinned back into place, the way a cobalt fabric cut by the scissors of a seamstress would fall to her worktable. Sitting cross legged above the water, Spencer, from a large flask, poured two much needed cups of coffee, the bright pink ’S’ decorating his one making him raise a brow. She handed him a spread bagel, topped with fluorescent streaks of smoked salmon and cracks of pepper, on a small wooden chopping board, heart fluttering at how his jaw dropped slightly in excitement. “It’s Philly Cream Cheese, by the way, I know you love dairy but I made sure this didn’t have any in it anyway.” A soft smile settled on his lips. “Thank you,” he expressed his gratitude, “for all of this,” he clarified, as he finished chopping up various stone fruit into a woven basket. “Don’t mention it. I just wanted to spend more hours of the day with you,”

“That’s very sweet, but I see exactly what you’re doing. I hope you don’t expect that this’ll get me up at this hour every weekend,”

“Mhm,” a smug look made its way onto her face, “You already know I have other ways of getting you up early on Saturdays,”

“Oh? Okay, was that a-“ he had on an incredulous look, “I’m going to hold you to that,” he chewed down on his lip. She raised her eyebrows at his words.

“Cheers,” she held up her cup for a toast. “Cheers,” Spencer repeated, the soft clink of metal sounding over the crows of gulls overhead. They huddled into each other, watching the vibrance of sunlight meld together like dyes on an artists’s unwashed watercolour palette. Needless to say, she was not at all disappointed when the star of the morning finally disappeared, because a sky full of them could be found in the eyes of the man she called hers, and as he turned to face her, before his hand settled in her hair and apricot flavoured tongue reached her lips, she saw it, for a moment.

#maybe this is all i want #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds imagine #matthew gray gubler #mgg fanfiction #mgg fic #mgg #mine: writing

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anime-alyssa · 4 years ago

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purple scars. (d ragnvindr x reader)

i posted this on ao3 and forgot to move it here - so you get it super long and not 2 in parts. i’m thinking of continuing this, maybe?

thanks for reading and the support! i’m working on a xiao rn hopefully i can get my shit together

warning: contains some emotional trauma, implied r*pe but nothing is overly graphic. the second half is smut, separated by stars if thats what you want to skip to.

The bitter cold of Dragonspire finally started to fade away as you crossed over the bridge back into Mondstat for the first time in 10 years. You were bundled up to the extreme, having prepared for the cold, your sword on your back and jacket heavy on your shoulders. Your sword and your jacket were all you managed to steal away before you were able to escape your homeland, Inazuma. You were still dressed in the encampment clothes, your ID number splayed across the chest of the shirt and the boots too big for your feet.

You hadn’t wanted to be gone for 10 years - you wanted to only be gone for a few, to get your Electro under control. But when Baal placed borders around the country and started hunting down anyone with a Vision, life had become a living hell. You were placed in a prison camp and locked away from society shortly after, tortured beyond anything imaginable just for being born with a Vision. The only thing that kept you alive was the hope that one day, if you had gotten strong enough, you would be able to escape Inazuma to head back to Diluc, and Mondstat - were you really felt at home.

Diluc Ragnvindr was a mystery to everybody, except for you. You found yourself more often than not sneaking onto Dawn Winery’s premises when his father was not around and exploring each other’s bodies, like the horny teens that you had been. Sometimes you thought you could still feel the ghost of his fingertips on your skin at night - and tried to imagine that it was him when the Bakufu would do unspeakable things to you and the other prisoners. It was painful, and left you scarred - would Diluc even want you?

It had been 10 years - you had last seen him when you were merely 16 and he was entering the Knights of Favonius. The two of you fell in love as teenagers - no one expected it to be anything beyond that, but the two of you were convinced otherwise at the time. For you, it was still the same - you thought of Diluc every single day while you were in Inazuma. You could remember the day like it was yesterday - his heartbroken eyes, the cries you let out as you told him that you would be leaving, the way he held onto you.

“I’ll be back - I promise - I just - I need help that I can’t get here.” you sobbed into his chest. The Pyro users warmth was all around you as he held you in his room at Dawn Winery, his father out for the night, leaving the two of you bare in his bed.

“You better come back, or else I’ll go to Inazuma myself to get you.” his eyes looked down at you and your heart broke at the sight of him - Diluc was never a vulnerable person, but right now he was. One of his thumbs stroked your tears away on your cheeks as his lips peppered kisses up your neck. “I will never forget you. Ever.”

“Neither will I.” you said with a gasp, as Diluc had given you a night to never forget.

You had officially reached the other side of the bridge - the cold gone away and the warmth coming back to you. You thought about taking the jacket off, now way too hot with it on, but you didn’t want people to know where you had come from. You didn’t want their pity. There was a small camp with other adventurers and travelers around, the chef offering you food for free before you went on your way. It didn’t do much for you to quell the aching hunger you had and the shaky legs - you weren’t really the best fed and had been surviving off of fruit from trees. In short, you were in no condition to be traveling, clearly sickly and unwell. But you were not stopping now - you couldn’t. Not after all that you had overcome. You hadn’t forgotten about him.

A series of snarls from the side of you caused you to jump as you saw about four hilichurls coming right for you. You shrugged the jacket off and grabbed your sword, standing your guard as the monsters attacked. You fought them tooth and nail until your vision all but blacked out - you had hit the ground and heard someone calling for you.

“Hello? Wake up - Lumine - she needs help! Hey, wait - that’s an Inazuma camp uniform!” a high-pitched voice said to you. Your vision slowly came back as you saw a floating - fairy? You didn’t know what she was - but she was floating above you looking concerned next to a young blonde teenager. “Are you okay?”

“I - I don’t know. Need food - water - Di -” you managed to weakly say, feeling your world spin around you. The blonde teenager ran to the water source across from you - a lake? - to get you a drink of water as the fairy thing fished out something for you to eat. You felt like you were going to die - you were starving, dehydrated, but Diluc, you needed to get to Diluc.

“Here’s some water! Drink this, please.” she said to you kindly. You took the cup and quickly chugged the water, then taking the offered food. “My name is Lumine, and this is Paimon.” You gave them your name back, as they seemed trustworthy, as they sat down next to you and watched you. Paimon looked at you with sad eyes, seeing your uniform.

“Thank you very much. It’s been…. a while since I ate anything. All I have is this.” you said to them, continuing to eat. You were already feeling better, but by the way they were looking at you, you could tell that you were still quite a sight.

“You’re welcome - did you escape Inazuma? Paimon and Lumine were actually trying to find a way to sneak in.” Paimon had announced to you. You froze on the spot and looked up to them.

“What - no. Don’t go there. It’s dangerous - the camps - ” You felt panic start to bubble in your chest, your heart-rate increasing and breathing becoming staggered at the flashes of memories that flooded your mind. Paimon started calling out to you again, trying to calm you. She and Lumine had started to talk amongst themselves, looking at you trying to calm yourself as they made attempts to as well. You tried to remember Diluc - what you could of him, and slowly you were able to calm down. “I’m sorry - it’s just - it’s awful. I was there for 10 years, I was a prisoner.” You sat in an awkward silence before Paimon spoke up again.

“Hey - Paimon remembers that when you were talking earlier, you almost sounded like you were saying someone’s name.” she said to you.

“I’m - I’m looking for Diluc Ragnvindr of Mondstat - the Knights - or Dawn Winery - I don’t know where he is, actually. When I left, he was joining the Knights.” you said to them with a sudden hope that you hadn’t felt in years. Even in your journey, you hadn’t felt hopeful. There was always the chance of the Bakufu finding you and bringing you back or dying. But suddenly, you felt some hope.

“Oh - Master Diluc! Paimon didn’t know he used to be with the Knights of Favonius - that explains why he dislikes them so much now - but he does run Dawn Winery now!” Paimon said, floating happily. She paused for a moment - then looked like some gears had clicked in her head. “Wait a minute - you’re Master Diluc’s lost love!!”

“His what?” You asked. Lost love? Was that what the rumor was? But wait - if there was even a rumor, that meant there was potential that he still cared about you - still thought of you.

“What Paimon means to say is that Kaeya told us stories about when Diluc was… not like he is now. That he used to be much happier - and it was because of you.” the blonde traveler said to you.

“What - what do you mean? He’s changed?” You wanted to slap yourself - obviously he changed, it’s been years. But they made it seem like he was completely different - and he left the Knights? When Diluc was younger it was all he wanted to do, so he could protect people and help them. What had changed? You assumed you would find out.

“Paimon thinks we should take you to him to find out - Kaeya made it seem like you knew him better than anyone, so you would know more. Let’s go check Dawn Winery to see if he is there!” she said happily. You gave her a nod as you shakily stood up, feeling like you had a little bit more energy and walked with the traveler and her companion.

You learned about her on the way there. She woke up on the beach with no memory, but knew she was not from Tevyat. Her twin brother was missing and she was in search of The Seven to see if maybe that would be a way for her to find him, which explained why she wanted to go to Inazuma despite your warnings. But, she was Vision-less - a fact that shocked you as you could have sworn you vaguely remember her using Anemo during the fight. That little factoid made you feel a little better.

As you approached Dawn Winery, your stomach started twisting into knots. All of your anxieties came flooding back - would Diluc even want you still? Would he be appalled at the state of you? Would he be able to handle the extra baggage you came with now? Your mind reeled at Paimon babbled on about how maybe you would be good for Diluc to be happy, and how she was looking forward to the food the winery always had for them. You felt yourself fidgeting with the jacket, having put it back on to cover your uniform.

You saw his red hair from a mile away and froze in your steps. He had gotten taller, but god he looked the same. He pulled his hair back like he always had, muscles built out over the years. He couldn’t see you yet, talking to someone else across from him at the entrance of the winery. Lumine stayed by your side, the teenager having a big heart and concerned. However, Paimon floated on over to him.

“Master Diluc! Master Diluc! Paimon and Lumine have someone who was looking for you!” she said excitedly. You couldn’t help but admire the creature’s happiness, despite your nerves. You and Lumine walked forward as Diluc turned around - eyes going wide seeing you. Your breath hitched in your throat as you two made eye contact. It felt like all air in your lungs had just disappeared and you were unable to breathe.

Diluc slowly stepped towards you at first, not being able to believe his eyes. You could tell he was taking you in, observing your features and you to make sure that it really was you. You didn’t blame him for taking his time - you were unrecognizable from before. Your features had thinned out due to the years of neglect from the Bakufu, eyes sunken slightly inward and skin paled. You saw a flash of doubt flash in his eyes - or at least that’s what your brain wanted you to think - and you let out a sob. That seemed to do it for him as Diluc ran over to you in a flash, pushing anybody out of his way to wrap his arms around you.

It finally felt like you were home, in Diluc’s arms as he held you. More sobs wrecked your now trembling body, overcome with emotion as tears spilled onto his clothing. His grip on you was snug, but not too tight, treating you like you were glass and frail. He was warm, as he always was, while he held onto you like you’d disappear into thin air if he let go. You felt your knees give out, exhaustion starting to hit you, Diluc picking you up to support you. You tried to say something - to say anything to him, but the shaking and the exhaustion was becoming to much and eventually, you blacked out in his arms.

——

You woke up on a comfortable bed - so comfortable it almost didn’t feel right. You were sunk into one side with the blankets over you, body bare underneath. Had Diluc been the one to take your clothes off - did he see your scars? Your body suddenly felt good - there was no aching, you suddenly felt healthy? If that was the word for it. You shuffled in the bed, making an attempt to sit up, before you were promptly pushed back down.

“Lay down - please.” Diluc spoke to you. You turned your gaze over to him, laying next to you, half asleep and half dressed. You covered yourself underneath the blankets as he threw an arm over you, pulling you close to him despite trying to hide. “Don’t do that. Stop trying to hide from me.”

“Diluc - I’m - I’m not the same.” you stammered out. You felt his fingers dance over your bare skin and you gasped, instinctively jumping back. He retreated his touch upon seeing this, examining you again. “I’m sorry.”

“What did they do to you?” he asked. Panic bubbled inside of you once more as you tried to find the words to speak. You wanted to tell him everything. He deserved to know everything if he was still going to be with you. But for some reason, you couldn’t find the words. “Did the Bafuku do this - give you these?” His fingers grazed over the discolored scars on your body, purple marks from Electro attacks embedded into your skin forever.

“Yes - they would - they punished us when we fought back. All of us - but the females - they would - they’d come at night - ” Diluc let out a low snarl, understanding what you were implying without actually having to say it. “I tried to imagine it was you. Thinking of you is the only thing that kept me alive most days. It was awful - once Baal placed the orders to capture everyone with Visions, they found me in days. The painful part was that I was right at Liyue’s border - I was so close to getting out. That’s when I got this one.” You lifted your left arm, pointing to a series of purple numbers on your wrist.

“I don’t want to hear where they came from. It only makes me angrier that the damn Knights of Favonius didn’t even try to do anything to help.” Diluc said, cautiously wrapping a bare arm around you, testing the waters. You allowed him the contact - knowing that you were safe. You were safe with Diluc. You just needed to convince your brain the same thing, which would take time that he didn’t seem to mind. “It’s the middle of the night, let’s go back to bed. You need rest.” he said to you.

You gave Diluc a quick nod as you found yourself inching closer to his chest, resting your head on him. He was warm, as always, wrapping his arms completely around you and pulling you onto him. He never used to be one who liked someone on top of him, even you, and you had respected that - but now it seems like he wasn’t going to ever let you go again.

You didn’t mind as you attempted to fall into a dreamless sleep - but you were unlucky. Diluc was out in five minutes flat, but every time you tried to close your eyes flashes of the past would come back to haunt you. You weren’t sure if you got a wink of rest at all, until you found Diluc looking down at you, the sun out behind him. Your throat was dry and your face was wet. Had you had a nightmare? You weren’t sure if you had, since you weren’t even sure if you had fallen asleep at all.

“It’s just me - you’re okay. You were having a nightmare, I think.” he said, trying to say it in his calmest voice he could possibly muster. You blinked up at him confused.

“I - I don’t remember.” you said sadly, racking your brain to see if you could remotely remember, but having no such luck. Your brain was telling you that it didn't want you to remember, you think.

“You were screaming in your sleep. Almost shocked me, actually.” he said, throwing a light-hearted chuckle in at the end. You were not amused though, staring at him with wide eyes as you sat up slowly.

“I did? Are you okay?” you asked him. He looked at you like you had ten heads, confusing you until he spoke next.

“What - are you okay?”

“I think that answer is obvious enough.” You replied plainly. Diluc’s hand went to your chin, bringing your gaze to match his. His thumb lovingly and gently ran across your jawline, and you instinctively leaned into his touch. Slowly, you climbed up onto his lap, and he allowed you the comfort. “I think - I think I’ll be okay now, though. It’s just going to take some time.” You nuzzled yourself back into his chest as he hugged you snuggly, a hum leaving his lips.

“I’ll be here with you until it is, I swear it.” Diluc pressed a soft kiss on your forehead and you knew then that he meant it just like he did 10 years before.

*********************************************************************************

Slowly but surely, you started to heal, and it was all thanks to Diluc. The nightmares started to slowly fade away and with time, you were feeling happy again. You lived with him at Dawn Winery and took on some responsibilities to earn your keep (though Diluc always insisted that you didn’t need to do so), like helping the staff keep the place running and making sure that Diluc was on time to everything he needed to be. Which was a challenge, especially once you started to feel like your old self again (or what you could of your old self).

“One of these days, Charles is going to quit and then you’ll be stuck!” you said to him from on top of his desk, his lips on your neck as you let out a sigh. You weren’t quite mentally ready for much more intimacy, and he was okay with that, but you slowly had become re-accustomed to more touches. Diluc was letting you take the reins for what you were ready for and what you weren’t.

“He threatens to quit every day. He never does.” Diluc spoke against your skin, grunting as you finally pushed him away - and just in time, as Charles walked in to look for him. You hopped off and ran to find Adeline to see if she needed any help. Later on that day, you saw Charles again and he said that Diluc had been in a particularly angry mood for the past few hours. With a sigh, you had hunted him down, finding him in your bedroom.

“What’s wrong? Charles is going around saying you’re angry.” you said to him. Your partner let out a scoff as he turned back around to you, your eyes immediately going to his middle. You bit back a laugh.

“Don’t.” he hissed through gritted teeth, face burning as you stepped closer to him.

“It’s like you’re sixteen again.” you said with a small giggle. Before he could protest, you had him backed against the wall and his pants shoved down, solving the problem yourself. Charles saw you before he left for the night and had said Diluc was in a much better mood the rest of the day.

You had found out about Diluc’s night-time hero work as The Darknight Hero a week or two after you had returned. Originally, you fought him tooth and nail against it, for selfish reasons - but once he explained what had happened to him over the past 10 years, you gave it a rest and let him go on. With the death of his father and everything that had happened with the Knights and his brother afterward, you almost couldn’t blame him.

He had put a pause on it when you came back, but people started to talk and worry, and the Abyss Order picked up on it. He had to begin it again, and you worried every single night. Tonight in particular, he had been gone almost all night, and you were starting to worry. It was an hour or two more than what he was usually out, and you were alone in the Winery with your thoughts. To make things worse, it was storming outside so you couldn’t go out to look for him even if you wanted to.

A crack of thunder caused panic to rush through your chest - it sounded too much like Bakufu punishment for your comfort. You were snuggled under blankets, bringing your knees to your chest as you tried to push the memories away - another crack making an involuntary whimper leave your lips as the shakes came on. You hadn’t panicked like this in months - but the conditions of the storm and Diluc being gone for longer than he said brought it on, and you were nearly unable to control it.

The door opened and you jumped, not paying any mind to whoever it was that walked through the door as you fought to keep the memories at bay - flashes of them coming through in segments. You heard a curse and then running as you steadied some of your breathing, a hand coming to your face and forcing you to look at your lover. He wrapped his arm around you and brought you close to him, letting you soak up his warmth.

“You’re okay - you’re okay.” Diluc chanted to you softly. You nodded against his chest as you wrapped yourself around him back, his hand gently rubbing your back. He was right - you were okay. “I tried to get back as soon as I could after the weather rolled in, I’m sorry it took so long.” he apologized from above you.

“It’s okay.” you mumbled into him.

“No it’s not. I know how it gets - I should have known better.” he pressed a kiss to your hair after he spoke, guilt starting to rise up. Diluc had been overly cautious when it came to you since your return - within days he had memorized anything that sent you into a panic and was there to prevent it from happening. Until today, that is, hence the guilt. You let out a sigh as you relaxed into him.

“I know you want to protect me, but you can’t always do it, on top of everything else. I’ll be okay.” you said to him, taking your head out of his chest and bringing your lips to his.

He slowly reciprocated once his mind caught up to his body - realizing that you were initiating, something that hadn’t happened yet since you came back. His arms around you tightened as the kiss became deeper and more passionate, from a tiny little peck to open mouthed pants. Diluc was almost struggling to keep up with you, mind telling him to slow down for you but body betraying him, his need for you coming to the surface.

Diluc almost lost his mind when he had dragged you closer to him and heard a soft moan leave your lips as you landed on top of the tent in his pants. The moan seemed to be the signal that flipped the switch in Diluc’s head, as he flipped the two of you over, placing your back on the mattress as he towered above you.

“Are - are you sure?” Diluc asked, needing your complete consent before he went any further. A selfish part of him was hoping you’d say yes, but if you were to say no, he’d have no problem getting off you right now and going on with his night. It was all about if you were ready.

“Yes. Please Diluc.” you said back quietly. It was his turn to let out a moan at your begging for him as his lips went to your neck, softly leaving pecks up and down both sides.

“You tell me if anything - anything - is too much.” he spoke against your skin, coming back up to make sure that you understood. Diluc felt his cock twitch in his pants seeing your blissed out face, lust clouded over you from him. You let out a weak nod before he went back down with more vigor, sucking marks into your neck for all to see.

Fighting back wasn’t a thought in your mind as your body grew hot, clothes suddenly feeling restricting and your core in need of some friction. You hadn’t needed anybody in years, but right now, you needed him. Everything felt so right as his gloved fingertips pushed your shirt off your body, exposing your chest to him. The cool air made you shiver, but was soon replaced with the warmth of Diluc’s mouth pressing open-mouthed kisses to all the skin he could reach.

You managed to get Diluc to shrug his jacket off once you started to push it over his shoulders, pulling at his gloves next and discarding those. His mouth went back to its attack on your chest, finding one of your breasts and gently beginning to tug. A moan left your mouth as you tried to remember that your next mission was to get his shirt off. Your body was giving into him more and more as sparks of pleasure started to zoom through your veins and down to your core, slick starting to pool.

“Diluc…” you moaned out his name lustfully, spurring him on more. He pulled away from your nipple with a pop, panting as he almost ripped the rest of his shirt off his arms before going back down to pay attention to the other nipple. You continued to cry out, twisting underneath him as you filled with more and more need.

You felt his hands moving down your stomach, one resting on your hip while the other tucked under the waistband of your pants. For a moment, your mind started to reel and your heart raced - flashes of the past coming in. You were able to remember that you were with Diluc - you were safe, and you wanted him. Diluc noticed, immediately popping off you and gazing up at you.

“Should I - ”

“Don’t you dare stop.” you said, cutting him off. Throwing your arms around his neck, you brought his lips down to meet yours as he quickly continued what he was doing. Fingers dipped between your folds slowly, toying with your sensitive bud and making you moan against his mouth. With a small grunt back, Diluc slid two of his fingers into you slowly, beginning to pump. You sighed out his name as your hips ground into him, his lips moving back towards your neck as he panted against you.

“You’re so fucking perfect, baby.” he breathed against you, hips rutting against your thigh. You used your free hands to push your pants off, kicking them down your legs and leaving you completely exposed. The purple scars on your body reflected with the lightning outside the window and the candle light on the bedside while your body twitched with desire. Another moan left your lips as his fingers curled up into you, his thumb circling your bud making your walls tremble. “I need you. I need you.” he chanted into your neck, trying to use his freehand to fumble with his pants to push them down.

“Diluc…” you moaned as you started to meet his pumps, fucking yourself on his fingers trying to chase a high that you felt coming.

“I need to be inside you. Let me - I need it.” he stammered, continuing to finger fuck you until you said yes. You let out a cry as you felt yourself nearing the edge, body hot and sweat collecting on your skin. “Please baby - let me - ”

“Diluc, yes - fuck - ” As soon as the words left your mouth, he pulled his fingers out of you and finished pulling his pants down, kicking them off and letting them fall to the floor. You let out a whine at the loss before Diluc leaned down to kiss you again, gently using his knees to spread your legs wider and his hand that was in you to line his cock up with you. Nerves started to kick in ever so slightly, surpassing the need as you spoke out. “Be - slow - please.” you managed to say.

“Of course.” he said back, putting his lips back on yours as Diluc pushed the head of his cock into your hole. He let out a moan into your mouth, checking your face for any signs of discomfort before pushing in more. A whine left your lips at the feeling of being split open - it had been so long since you had someone inside of you that it almost felt like the first time again. Diluc pressed kisses to you, as some form of a distraction, as he continued to seethe himself inside until eventually, he was all the way in. “Okay?” he asked, bringing his gaze back up to yours. Diluc looked like he was absolutely holding back, restraining himself because you had asked. His face was red and he was panting above you already, heart racing with desire.

“Ye - yeah.” you said back to him. He let out a groan before he kissed you again, not moving inside just yet. His lips were warm against yours, swollen from all of the other kisses he had given you so far. Diluc wrapped his arms around you and brought you close to him, pressing your bodies together as you felt your need re-awaken. Your body was on edge, having him inside you but not moving - and you needed him yet again. “Diluc - you can move - please.” you begged.

“Fuck, yes.” he groaned into your mouth as slowly he started to rock his hips into yours, cock sliding in and out of you with ease. When he started moving, everything from before fully woke up again and you felt your muscles start to tense up, gripping onto his shoulders desperately as your moans started to fill the air. He took that as signal to start going faster and eventually, he started thrusting harder, with more purpose. A cry left your lips at the change of pace, feeling your body react by trying to move your hips to meet his.

“Faster Diluc - please faster.” you cried out. Your lover let out a loud moan at your plea, hiking your legs over his shoulders as he fucked into you harder, cock curving up inside you and hitting the spot that had you crying out his name. You started to shake under him, a warmth pooling in you that felt like it was about to bubble over. Diluc took your lips in his again, drinking up your moans as he pounded himself into you, the bed creaking and the sound of his hips meeting yours filling the room. You felt his cock growing harder inside of you with every thrust, your resolve close to breaking. “D - Diluc - Diluc!” you cried, tears streaming down your cheeks as pleasure started to overcome you.

“So good - you’re so good to me - so - perfect - fuck!” he said to you in a haze, a wanton moan leaving his lips as he felt your walls start to flutter around his cock. You let out a cry as you felt yourself nearly there - the pressure was bubbling and you were about to snap as the length of Diluc’s cock hit you right every time, his moans music to your ears and making your insides shutter. “Ah - ah - come for me, baby - come for me!” Diluc begged, now chasing a release by making you get to yours. You let out a whine - feeling yourself getting towards that edge - then a scream, feeling Diluc bring his hand down between your bodies to start rubbing at your clit. “Fuck you’re gonna - come - come!” he moaned.

“Diluc - Diluc - I’m - fuck!” you screamed out his name as white hot pleasure took over your body, feeling your walls finally clench down on him inside of you. Your eyes rolled into the back of your heard as you kept moaning, body arching against his and core still convulsing as Dilic continued to fuck you, now with a pace near brutal that had your orgasm being wrung out, overstimulation nearing. “Di - Diluc - ” you stammered as his fingers rubbed harder on your spent nub.

“Fuck - I’m - I’m gonna cum - so hard - inside - baby - ” Diluc let out one last loud moan as his hips slapped against yours, his cock twitching inside of you as his seed buried itself deep. He let out moans as he bucked his hips up into you, your twitching core milking his cock as he all but collapsed on top of you. “Fuck -” he breathed out into your neck, dragging your hips close again so he could keep pumping his high in your body.

You felt spent - exhausted. Eventually, you felt his cock stop twitching inside of you and Diluc pulled out, collapsing next to you. He brought the blankets over your bodies and pulled you close to him, pressing kisses to your temple.

“Are you okay?” he asked you. You turned to look at him, eyes wide with concern. You gave him a smile and pressed a kiss to his lips. Even after all that, he was still worried about you. You could argue that's what you loved most about him - that under the facade of not caring, he cared a lot - he was an emotional guy.

“More than okay.” you said back to him. He let out a hum as his hand trailed down to your abdomen - the area where you had the most scars from the Bakufu. Suddenly, you got what he was saying.

“I - well - I came inside. Are you sure?” he asked again. You didn’t really think about that in the moment, honestly. You weren’t sure how you felt about that one hundred percent - but you knew that you didn’t entirely mind it. You had gone through hell to get back with him because you wanted to be with him - you wanted to be with him completely.

“Yeah. I’m sure - I want to be with you, Diluc. That means… everything.” you said back. He nodded back down to you as he kissed you again, keeping his hand on you down below. When he stopped, he pressed your forehead to his lovingly.

“To everything.”

#diluc ragnvindr x reader #diluc x reader

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mylifeisactuallyamess · 4 years ago

Text

So I wrote a one shot. I watched the film 10 Years a few days ago and it inspired me to write a Star Wars version 🤣 it just focuses on Poe though let’s face it. This is me after all! Poe Dameron lover forever! I didn’t even name it anything interesting.

Yavin High Reunion.

Modern!Poe Dameron x Female Reader

Warnings: mention of divorce, mention of a child, angst! Fluff, smut NSFW 18+, alcohol, did I mention angst? Swearing and possibly a happy ending 👀 Apologises for any mistakes I cannot be bothered to reread it.

Word Count: 7759

You straightened your dress as you got out of the cab, passing money to the driver before turning to look down the high street of your old town. The sky was dark and the shops you had haunted most of your youth were lit by the garish orange street lamps, you smiled slightly as echoes of memories came to you. You had lived in this high street, spending holidays, or a few hours here and there after school, you could always be found here with your friends. But this was the first time you’d seen it since you left when you were 18.

You were late with everyone inside already, just the way you wanted. You placed a hand on your stomach as you breathed deeply trying to control the butterflies that fluttered manically inside you. As soon as High School had finished you left, the only person you really stayed in touch with was your best friend Jess. She had kept you up to date with what everyone else in your group of friends had been doing and you went through stages of missing them, longing for the summer days where you all hung out at the beach, eating picnics, barbecues and getting drunk as the sun finally set.

You closed your eyes briefly before turning to look at the hotel where the reunion was taking place. The grey bricks gave the impression it was a lot fancier than it looked but this hotel hadn’t changed on the outside at all. Music and laughter floated out of the open windows above you and again your stomach cramped nervously. Your last year at school had been a difficult one and you were ashamed with how you dealt with what happened….Jess had said he was coming and really he was the only reason you had come. Steeling yourself you finally took the last steps towards the entrance of the hotel pushing the door open and letting the warm air wash over you.

The foyer was empty, you wrote your name on a sticker and placed it gently on your dress, you could see some class mates had scribbled in the memory book already and you smiled slightly as you read it realising that no one had really grown up in 10 years. Stands displaying photos stood behind the desk and you made a note to come and look at those later. You saw a camera but no camera man and you wondered if that was better, you were leaving straight after this anyway. Your heels rang out on the stairs as you made your way towards the noise of the reunion.

As soon as you opened the door you felt overwhelmed, the beat from the music thrummed through you and you instantly headed towards the bar ordering a double gin and tonic to calm your nerves. You surveyed your surroundings, it had been decorated with the school colours and you winced at the mix of orange, white, red and black realising how much you hated the colours together. You took your glass as your eyes searched the crowd trying to find a face you recognised, well you knew most of them, older but you knew them as they danced smiling at one another. You spied another room and you hoped there was food in that one, you made your way round the edge of the room quickly slipping into the larger room. This room was quieter, long tables laid out with hot plates of food and round tables that were littered with little pockets of people as they caught up.

Some double doors lead outside onto a balcony and you saw the crowd standing out there, you’d never really mixed with them at school but one caught your attention. From where you were standing you could see him perfectly as he lounged on the sofa, his long legs taking up so much room, he looked smart in his suit his long dark hair hadn’t changed in the passing years but he had a serious look on his expression, gone were smiles he used to have at school. You froze as his hazel eyes caught sight of you and he tipped his head slightly in recognition. Kylo Ren had been the one you turned to all those years ago, he had been the one to drive you to the airport even giving you money and helping you get a job so you could flee. You thought about going over but then the blonde head of Phasma came into view as she laid herself all over him and you quickly moved out of sight. Not much had changed in 10 years at all. You felt sad and you debated leaving as you lost your appetite when all of a sudden you were grabbed. You grinned as her dark hair fell all over your face and she squealed loudly in your ear making you grimace in pain .

‘Jess! Ouch!’

‘Oh my god you came!!’ She almost screamed at you .

‘Yes yes! I told you I would!’ She grabbed you for another hug and you squeezed her back, oh how you had missed her! Video calls had nothing on giving your friend a solid hug in person. ‘Where is everyone else?’ You heard yourself ask and she smirked knowing you weren’t really bothered about everyone else. You just wanted to see him.

‘There’s another room, this one has desserts in so clearly we camped in there,’ she winked and you smiled back but your stomach just went into overdrive as she led you back into the bar and across the dance floor. Of course they were in the dessert room, he had such a sweet tooth. You saw them straight away and a wave of people rose to greet you, Finn was first lifting you off the floor as he squeezed the air out of your chest, then Rose and her sister Paige.

‘Aren’t you too old to be here?’ You whispered to her and she laughed.

‘I snuck in no one saw me,’ she winked and let Snap spin you into a dizzying embrace, he gave you a kiss on the cheek before letting your feet touch the floor again. Next you were embraced by his wife Kare, followed by the clowns of the group Beaumont and Ronith. The group parted as they all sat back down and your breath was taken from you as you laid eyes on the love of your life for the first time in so long. Everything melted away as his intense brown eyes blazed into yours, his curls a dark unruly mess on top of his head and you saw he still wore his Dad’s leather jacket; it just fitted him now, perfectly. He rested one leg on his knee, one of his arms was draped over an empty chair and he didn’t get up to greet you. You swallowed plastering a smile on your face and you felt eternally grateful to Jess as she dragged you over the tables to look at the cakes. But you couldn’t see them, your vision swam and you tried desperately to compose yourself.

‘Well, that was intense,’ Jess mumbled as she passed you a plate. You jumped slightly as you heard his rich laugh rise up from the group, you didn’t know you were going to feel this so strongly, the guilt ripped through you and now you really wished you hadn’t come.

‘He hates me,’ you whispered mindlessly spooning some chocolate cake onto your plate.

‘He doesn’t…’

‘Well he should,’ you snapped softly. You slowly walked back to the table with her heading for the empty chair next to Snap but Jess was just a step ahead of you leaving the only chair available was the one Poe had his arm thrown possessively over.

‘C-can I sit here?’ You were acutely aware the group was watching you both as they talked extra loudly trying to cover up the tension. He moved his arm and you slipped into the chair moving it into the table and slightly away from him. You were immediately pulled into the conversation as Beaumont started recounting some funny drunk story and finally you felt yourself relax but only slightly. Your skin tingled every time he spoke or joined it but it was never directly to you and you desperately tried to ignore that.

‘Oh god and then there was prom!’ Ronith blurted out and you instantly felt Poe tense up. A buzzing noise started in your ears as everything drained away, the memory replaying like it was yesterday in your mind.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, your hair looked amazing, your makeup was perfect and your dress was stunning hugging you in all the right places. You looked up at the knock on the door and you knew it was Poe, you bit your lip as you stood at the top of the stairs, your Dad letting him in. You couldn’t hear what they were saying but you didn’t care as Poe caught sight of you. His jaw went slack and his brown eyes widened as he swallowed nervously, your eyes raked over his outfit and his navy suit matched your dress perfectly. You slowly made your way down your hand dragging lightly on the banister until he stepped round your Dad a lopsided smile now spreading over his face as he offered you his arm.

‘You look stunning my love,’ he murmured before shooting a nervous glance at your Dad.

‘The limo is here!’ Called your mum and you both stepped outside, your parents took so many photos you tried to hurry them up but Poe was loving it. His eyes barely left you and neither did his hands, until the glare of blue lights chased away the descending darkness. You all frowned as an officer got out of the car along with Poe’s father, you knew something was instantly wrong by the look on Kes’s face.

‘Can we talk inside?’ The officer asked and your parents ushered you all inside. You had sat next to Poe holding his hand when they broke the news to him that his mother had died in a car crash, she was driving back from work hoping to catch him before he left for prom but she never made it. In that moment you had seen him break, completely fall apart before your very eyes and there was nothing you could do to help him. Shara had been a wonderful person and you adored Poe’s parents having grown up in their house as a second home. Seeing his pain had damaged something inside you and all you could think about was running away.

‘Am I right? You two,’ your eyes rose as he gestured to you both of you, ‘must have had a great time at prom we barely saw you…’ Snap punched Beaumont on the shoulder as silence settled on the table. You and Poe had never made it to prom, instead heading to the hospital so he could say a final goodbye. You got up, fumbling a quiet excuse as you hurried away from the group. You needed out, the noise cascaded over you from the bar and you could feel yourself panicking as you raced down the large staircase to head outside to the gardens. They were only small but you found a bench tucked away and you finally allowed yourself to feel. Tears slid down your face as you silently cried. You remembered everything, all the promises you made him saying you’d be there and help him through his pain but really you should have looked to yours. You didn’t even attend her funeral, turning to Kylo Ren of all people. His parents own a huge company and they got you a job in England, an apprenticeship and you took it, fleeing your old life and falling head first into a new one. Poe had every right to hate you, you hated yourself enough, hated for running out as soon as you could.

You had tried to forget Poe in England and for a time you did, you fell for someone and he swept you off your feet and you got married. But the cracks that started off tiny just got bigger and one of the last things he said to you was your heart clearly wasn’t in it. And it wasn’t, you’d left your heart here with Poe you just didn’t want to acknowledge it. You blotted your eyes trying to gather up the courage to go back inside when someone materialised out of the shadows, his hands in his pockets as he stood a few paces away from you.

‘Hi,’ he said as he stood awkwardly. You slid across the bench silently inviting him to sit with you and he did.

‘Hi,’ you whispered, clasping your hands in your lap as you turned to face him. ‘Poe…’ he shook his head interrupting you.

‘Let’s not,’ he looked up at the sky. ‘Let’s not drag that up.’

‘Good idea.’ You both sat together falling into a familiar silence but not really looking at each other until he spoke again.

‘So you went to England? Jess said…’

‘Yeah, I quite like it over there.’ He smirked slightly.

‘You have an accent.’

‘Poe Dameron I do not!’ His smile got wider as he ran a hand through his curls, a motion you had adored in High School and still did it seemed.

‘It’s cute.’ You swallowed as the butterflies restarted in your stomach and you tried to find anything else to talk about.

‘So what about you? What do you do now?’

‘I followed Dad didn’t I, became a mechanic but I work on planes rather than cars.’

‘Wow that’s impressive,’ you fiddled with the material of your dress as the next question fell from your mouth and even to your ears it sounded strained. ‘Got a wife?’ He looked down at his shoes as he shuffled them in the dirt.

‘Nope, apparently my heart wasn’t in it,’ he said bitterly and you froze hearing those words again, letting out a shaky laugh as he looked at you.

‘Well I’ve been told the exact same thing,’ he frowned as you glanced at him quickly. ‘My hus….ex husband said the same thing to me and he was right.’

‘Husband….you got married?’ You could hear the hurt in his voice and you felt the well of sadness threaten to rise inside you again.

‘Not that it worked out. I left my heart here anyway.’ He opened his mouth to reply when a shout caught both your attention, it was Snap.

‘Guys! We’re heading to Maz’s place, you coming?’

‘Yeah sure,’ you coursed together. ‘Though I want to look at the photos before we go.’ You smiled slightly at him as you stood.

‘Come on then.’ You followed him back inside and you joined Jess at a photo of the pair of you.

‘You ok?’ She asked quietly as she pointed out one of Poe and Snap looking all fresh faced and happy.

‘Yeah I’m ok,’ you replied. You paused at a photo of you all, Poe was standing next to you and he was looking down at you as you smiled at the camera.

How different your life would have been if you’d just stayed, but you had come across Kylo one night at the beach. About 1am in the morning and even though you weren’t what you would call friends you had been so desperate to talk to someone you had spilled everything to him and he gave you the way out you so desperately craved. You looked up as Poe came up behind you.

‘Come on, let’s get drunk,’ he suggested. ‘It will be like the old days,’ he said as he nudged you in a playful way. You went to step away when his hand caught your arm and he held you back from the group. ‘For the record, your ex husband doesn’t know what he’s losing,’ your breath hitched as his warm hand slid up your neck and he planted a kiss against your cheek, his stubble rubbing against you slightly before moving away and you fell into step beside him.

You noticed how suddenly the dynamic had changed between you, now he wanted to sit next to you, he followed you, his hand lightly touching you now and again as he spoke to you. You tried not to think about the way his body pressed against you as you all squeezed into two cars, the scent rolling off his leather was undeniably Poe and it made you swoon slightly. Finally spilling out of the car you gulped in some fresh air trying to curb the feelings you had creeping up on you.

The bar was exactly how you remembered it, dingy and dark perfect for making out in without getting caught. Your eyes were drawn to a booth in the corner and Poe saw you looking.

‘You remember?’ He murmured.

‘Of course I remember,’ you whispered in reply looking up at him. It had been the first place you’d kissed and right now you felt exactly as you did then as you caught up in his eyes, his scent, his expression.

‘Guys! Shots!’ You dragged your gaze away from the man next to you as you grabbed a glass off the bar, all downing the burning liquid before Jess gestured for another lot. You ordered a gin and tonic and took the glasses over to the empty booth, you slipped in and Poe slid in next to you. The rest joined and you couldn’t help the little flutter in your chest as he brushed up against you when he took his leather jacket off, his white shirt top buttons were undone and you caught sight of a necklace. Poe had never been one for jewellery and you pointed feeling curious.

‘What’s this?’ He pulled the chain out and you recognised the silver ring instantly. ‘It’s Shara’s.’ He smiled and let you take it in your hands, turning it over with your fingers as you felt how warm it was from being against his chest.

‘Pack it in you two! I want to hear all about England!’ You let the ring drop and your eyes flew to Poe’s in panic. You hadn’t told any of them except Jess you were married and you had only just told Poe you were divorcing.

‘Let’s get another round in,’ Poe said loudly trying to draw attention off of you but Kare was relentless.

‘Sure sure get some drinks, but I want to hear about it, you’ve been out there for 10 years not even heard a peep from you. What’s so captivating over there?’

‘Oh you know, I’ve just been working hard, I was offered an opportunity and I couldn’t pass it up.’ You rubbed your arm feeling a chill as Poe got up from the table, Snap going with him to the bar.

‘Doing what?’ You shifted uncomfortably as you looked at your friends faces.

‘Well, I help run the British side of the Alderaan Haulage company.’

‘Wait wait,’ said Beaumont holding his hands up. ‘You work for Kylo Ren?’ You could feel the blush creeping over your cheeks as Poe started heading back to the table.

‘He made me an offer I couldn’t refuse,’ you said trying to keep your voice low.

‘Is he still as much of a douche as he was at school?’ Poe’s attention snapped to the table at Ronith’s very loud question and you felt yourself die inside a little bit.

‘I don’t have any problems with him,’ you said shrugging.

‘But then he left you alone at school,’ sneered Kare. ‘He had a crush on you soooo bad,’ said Jess.

‘Who are we talking about?’ Said Poe as he slipped a drink over to you and sat back next to you, his shoulder nudging yours.

‘Kylo Ren,’ said Kare as Snap sat down gently beside her. ‘He had a crush on the traitor here.’

‘Guys that’s my boss you’re talking about and he just walked in,’ you hissed, sinking into your seat slightly as Poe flung a possessive arm around your shoulders. You felt surprised as the sudden obvious contact and you saw Jess smirk as she sipped her drink.

You all watched as the crowd piled in, they had been the popular cool kids at school, Kylo with his rich parents had ruled the year, Armitage Hux was still hanging onto his every word, Phasma still shamelessly thirsting after him. Then there were the guys, you and your friends had called them the Knights as they always surrounded Kylo like a beefy entourage, as if he needed protecting. Kylo clocked you before they swarmed the bar and you did a stupid hand wave in acknowledgement.

‘That was embarrassing for you,’ sniggered Jess as they all started laughing into their drinks.

‘Laugh it up fuzzballs! I bet I’m making more money than all of you combined!’ Thankfully that started a new debate and you sat back into Poe’s side as you let them argue. You shivered as his hand gently brushed up your arm, you were sure he didn’t even know he was doing it but you didn’t mind. You had daydreamed so much over the last few years and every time you hit a low point, memories of Poe had helped you through. Your phone buzzed and you cursed as the name came up on the screen.

‘I need to take this,’ you mumbled, climbing over Poe not even getting to enjoy the way his hands helped you out as all you could think about is why he was ringing now.

‘Hello?’

‘Mummy?’ You instantly grinned hearing your daughter's little voice.

‘Hey baby, you ok?’

‘Yeah,’ your 4 year old daughter's voice brought tears to your eyes and you remembered why you had hesitated in coming. ‘Just missing you mummy.’

‘I’ll be home in a couple of days baby. Is daddy being good?’

‘Nope, he won’t let me eat chocolate before bed.’

‘Well that’s good…’

‘Mummy...bye.’

‘Bye baby…’ you heard some rustling on the other end of the line and you frowned as you heard your ex husband speak.

‘So when will you be back?’ He demanded.

‘Well my flights in just over 24 hours then I’ll be home soon after that.’

‘I don’t see why you had to go…’

‘Yeah well maybe I needed a break from it all,’ you snapped, already feeling weary from talking to him.

‘I’ve got papers for you to sign.’

‘Can we talk about this when I get back? And not in front of Flick?’ You looked up at the night sky blinking back tears, fed up with the fights, the paperwork and hiding it all from your daughter as best you could. For now anyway.

‘Say goodnight to mummy it’s dark over there…’ you grinned at your daughters sing song voice before wishing her a goodnight and putting the phone down.

‘You ok?’ You wiped your eyes hurriedly as Poe stood by the door to the bar.

‘Yeah I’ll be in a minute.’ But he came up to you, pulling your hands away from your face.

‘I know you. I know when you’re upset. What did he say?’ You could hear a hint of annoyance in his tone and it warmed you inside that he still felt protective over you.

‘Not much, he was just reminding me I have papers to sign and letting our daughter say goodnight to me,’ the words left your mouth before you could think of what you were saying, not that you were ashamed of your child but you just wanted to have a night and be that person you’d been 10 years ago, now you thought with a heavy heart, Poe would look at you differently.

‘A daughter?’ His voice was monotone almost like he was trying to cover up his shock.

‘Yeah, maybe I should have brought her up before, I don’t know I just wanted to be me for a night.’

‘And you flew all the way out here to do it?’ He asked.

‘It’s been hell,’ you stated simply. You took a shuddery breath trying to quell the rising storm inside you but you felt Poe was the one person you could really be yourself around and at a touch of his hand your barriers fell. He pulled you to him and you cried loudly into his shirt, you hated this and you wished you’d never come but you so desperately needed to escape your situation at home even if it was just for a few days. You felt confused as you clutched Poe’s shirt and he just held you, ever dependable Poe. You pulled away not wanting to rely on him like this.

‘I’m ok, I just need to compose myself,’ you said sniffing.

‘Do you want to get out of here?’ He asked his voice slightly husky as he looked down at you.

‘Yeah I should probably find a motel or something.’

‘Come back to mine, I’ve got a spare room. You’re not here for long, call me selfish but we have some catching up to do. I want to spend time with just you.’ You looked at him, you wanted to, oh god you wanted to go. Your brain said no but your heart said yes and today your heart won.

‘Sure, I’d like that.’

‘Let me get my jacket, stay here. I’ll be subtle.’ He planted a kiss on your head and you closed your eyes still warring with yourself. You told yourself you deserved this, even if a small voice at the back of your mind said you were going to break his heart all over again. He returned within minutes, his hand firmly pressing against the small of your back as he led you away from the bar. ‘Jess clocked me,’ he said just as the door opened. He grabbed you as he darted down an alleyway, he clutched you to him tightly as he peered round the corner. ‘She’s looking for us,’ he whispered and you couldn’t help but grin remembering you used to this back when you were dating. He looked down at you, his hand coming up, brushing the hair over your shoulder before gently swiping your cheek, his thumb trailed softly over your bottom lip and you ran it through your teeth as he tickled you.

You gasped as his lips connected with yours, the kiss was quick as he pulled away seeing your reaction. Your brain froze as long gone feelings rushed to the forefront.

‘I can’t….I only have tonight. I have to go back…’ you whispered feeling sad that you couldn’t just get lost in his arms without hurting him. He rested against the wall with a sigh as he thought about what you said, his curls flopping over his forehead in the way you loved so much.

‘What if we just take tonight. Don’t think ahead, let’s just have tonight.’ His voice was low and you heard the edge of need in his tone stoking the fire inside you.

‘Just tonight…’ you whispered as his hand wrapped around the base of your neck pulling you to him but he paused, his eyes looking deeply into yours as his lips brushed you gently.

‘Just tonight,’ he whispered back. He pulled away dragging you into the night.

Once you were inside his house you felt nervous, like a teenager and your parents were away but they had expressly said no partners. Yet you broke the rules anyway. That’s exactly how you felt, the air of anticipation surrounded you both as you silently slipped your shoes off at the front door. His house was homely, slightly messy but you didn’t care, grinning as he grabbed some stuff to throw in the washing machine.

‘I’m sorry I wasn’t expecting visitors.’

‘You were never the tidiest person,’ you said following him into the kitchen and you couldn’t help the smile spreading over your face at the noise of indignation he made.

‘I am an adult! I can live how I like!’ You laughed remembering his Dad used to say that.

‘When you grow up you can live how you like, but until then! It’s my rules!’ You both descended into laughter as you finished off Kes’s phrase. He opened the fridge and pulled out some bottles.

‘What would you prefer, cider or beer?’

‘Ooh cider!’

‘Think fast!’ Your hand shot out as he threw the bottle at you and thankfully you caught it.

‘Poe Dameron! I was not ready!’ You said punching him gently on the shoulder, he held out his bottle and you took it automatically snapping the metal cap off with your teeth.

‘I’m glad that never changed,’ he said before taking a swig, his dark eyes trained on you. You snapped the cap off your bottle and took a sip feeling the cool fruity liquid flood your mouth. You were going to have a headache tomorrow.

‘Can I have a snoop?’ He shrugged and you slowly made your way to the living room. It was clear only Poe had lived here, you paused at the sofa, your fingers threading into the blanket thrown over the back. You recognised it instantly, your nan had taught you how to crochet and you had made a blanket with orange and white colours to create some circular patterns. You had been so shy giving it to him sure he was going to think it was stupid but he took it giving you a hug and saying thanks. And here it was 15 years later on the back of his sofa.

‘Poe..’ you looked at him leaning on the doorframe as he watched you.

‘It was all I had of you after you left.’ You took a steady breath at the sadness lacing his tone as you fisted your hand into the blanket. You took a long drink out of your bottle hoping to fight back the tears as you chucked your head back, the bubbles danced on your tongue and you tried to concentrate on that sensation but you could feel him behind you.

His hand took the bottle from your grasp and you let it slide from your fingers as you watched him over your shoulder. Next he removed your coat softly dragging it down your arms and you got goosebumps as his fingers trailed over your skin. He gently brushed your hair to the side and you had to bite your lip as he kissed the hollow in your neck. His hand tracked down your body as you leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder. You stayed like that for a moment as his arms tightened around you and he breathed softly against your neck, his nose buried in your hair. You could feel the tension building inside you and you shifted against him, biting your lip again when you felt how hard he was through his trousers already.

You could feel your heart racing as you spun in his embrace, you could feel the edge of the sofa digging into your lower back as he pressed into you. You slipped your hands into his leather jacket, teasing it off his shoulders and laying it down over the sofa. His hands went back to your hips and his eyes roamed over your face, your chest heaved as you studied his face. A face you had desperately missed, you slowly traced his lips with your finger and his eyes glowered at you with a smouldering heat.

‘I’ve missed these,’ you whispered gently brushing his soft curls away from his eyes and he leaned into your touch.

‘I have missed you. More than you realise.’

‘Show me,’ you whispered. ‘Show me how much you've missed me.’ His lips were on you in a second, his tongue in your mouth as he pressed up against you. The kiss was fierce, full of hunger and need as his lips caressed yours, his tongue possessing your mouth in a way that left you dizzy and wanting air. Your body trembled as you pulled at his top and he tugged at your dress straps, you pulled your arms out pushing it down to expose your breasts and the smoulder in his eyes made you press your thighs together in anticipation. A fire had awoken inside you, a fire only Poe could create. It felt like his hands were everywhere at once and you groaned loudly as he sucked on your neck, kissing that spot that only he had been able to find. You pulled your dress up your thighs and wrapped your legs around his hips pulling him closer as you leaned back slightly. His hands supported your back as his mouth trailed searing hot kisses along your exposed collarbone and you worked his shirt out of his trousers, sliding your hands up his toned back. You moaned as he stepped away, his hair disheveled from your fingers, his lips red where he had kissed you hard, his eyes glittering with heat and his chest heaved as he tried to steady himself.

He pulled on your hand and you slowly followed him as he led you upstairs, he looked back giving you that lopsided smile that was always full of unspoken promises. He pulled you to him, kissing you gently as he backed into the bedroom, he turned and shoved you onto the bed and you watched with hooded eyes as he undid the buttons on his shirt, pulling it apart before he crawled between your legs, which you opened to accommodate him. His hand slid up your body, trailed up your neck and he pulled you to him for another kiss. You pulled on him and slowly he lowered his body onto yours, his skin warm to the touch and you rolled your hips into his eliciting a groan from him.

‘Baby you’re so needy,’ he whispered as his hand slowly trailed up your inner thigh, gently brushing your underwear and you almost whimpered in desperation for him to touch you. He hooked a finger in the band and began to shimmy them down your legs, leaving a line of wet kisses down your leg as he did. You were so consumed by your need for him everything else flew from your mind as he grabbed your thighs and pulled them apart. The cold air teased your wet core and you weren’t even ashamed with how wet you were, your hips bucked as he ghosted a hand over your bundle of nerves. ‘Patience.’ His brown eyes raked down your hot and bothered body before he dipped down, his face pressed into your inner thigh and you wound your fingers into his curls. You gasped, your eyes closing tightly as his tongue licked up your wet slit, your back arched as you felt a finger nudge at your entrance. ‘You are so wet,’ he murmured with a moan as he pushed a finger inside you.

‘More!’ You gasped and he obliged with another finger stretching you slightly but you wanted even more. You groaned as you tossed your head to the side just concentrating on the sensations he was giving you and the third finger that stretched you perfectly. A groan ripped from your chest as he gently swiped a thumb over your clit.

‘God, you make the best noises,’ moaned as his head dipped down again and you tightened your grip on his curls as he began to suck on you. His fingers dragged in and out of you causing cries of pleasure to bubble up from inside you. Your orgasm came at you in a rush, pleasure flooding your body as you tensed around him, you could feel just one more suck, one more motion and he’d have you tipping over the edge. Your legs shook and your mouth opened wide as the tidal wave of pleasure rocked your core, it spread through you and momentarily you didn’t know where you were, just lost in the wave of pleasure as it swept you away. You hummed as finally your legs relaxed, he crawled his way up you, kissing you as he shed his shirt and trousers in a rush. You wiggled your hips at the feel of his hardness against you burning the skin of your inner thigh, slowly he entered you and you both groaned at the sensation as he pushed into you. You were both so wet he slid in easily, slotting against you like he was made for you. His hands swiped the hair off your face as he kissed you deeply, his hips finally moving as he settled into a steady rhythm. You zoned out to the noises he made, the way his chain jingled against you both, the little huffs and groans he made when you wiggled a certain way had you moving closer to a second orgasm quicker than you’d like. His face buried in your neck and you felt him falter slightly against you and you knew he was close. You slipped a hand between you gently rubbing your clit, his eyes met yours as he quickened the pace. ‘I’m so c-close,’ he stuttered.

‘Mmmm let go!’ He pressed his forehead against you as he pumped into you, bringing you both over the threshold, your cries mingling together as you both released at the same time. He sagged against you kissing you lazily as you both rested in the post orgasmic bubble with each other. You wrapped your arms around each other, enjoying the company but as the feelings trickled away from you both cold realisation set in that this wouldn’t last for much longer.

‘Poe…’ but he stopped you with a hand over your mouth.

‘You promised me,’ he kissed your cheek. ‘An entire,’ he kissed your other cheek. ‘Night.’

‘We best carry on then,’ you whispered as a smile crept over your face.

‘Have you got anymore in you baby?’ Before he could react you flipped him onto his back.

‘You have no idea,’ you said as you nudged his face with your nose kissing him gently.

‘Promises…’ he murmured.

You stood by the edge of the bed looking down at him still sleeping. As you had predicted you had a headache but what did you expect from mixing your drinks. You knelt down next to the bed, not wanting to wake him but not wanting to leave without saying goodbye either, not again.

‘Poe…’ you nudged him slightly. ‘Poe….’ He groaned one eye opening sleepily.

‘Is it time?’ You smiled to try and cover the tears that were threatening to well up in your eyes and you nodded. He looked at you for a moment before pulling you to him and whispering in your ear as he embraced you. ‘We said, just tonight.’

‘I know I know!’ He pulled back slightly kissing everywhere he could reach as he held your face. The tears fell silently as you kissed him back before getting up, time was marching on and you couldn’t afford to miss your flight. ‘I have to go...my flight.’

‘Let me walk you out.’ His fingertips were touching you the whole time until you were at the door when he kissed you. His tongue swiping your lips as he kissed you deeply, you felt the wall behind you as he tried to press as much of himself against you as much as possible and you tried desperately not to cry into his mouth. You felt awful, walking away yet again leaving him standing here alone. ‘I don’t hold it against you,’ he murmured as he tucked your hair behind your ear. ‘If I could have left 10 years ago, I would have.’ You cleared your throat before you spoke.

‘But I should have stayed…’

‘No. You did the right thing, I didn’t think so at the time but for you, maybe for both of us. It was the right thing.’ He lifted your head, your eyes locking with his.

‘But the life we could…’ he shrugged. His muscles rippling under his smooth skin as he held your chin.

‘So what? Don’t dwell on the past, it could have been a really great life or we could have ended up hating each other.’

‘But I love you…’ a sob gripped your throat and you fell against him wishing you didn’t have to leave, not knowing when you could come back.

‘I love you too, I always have and I always will, but.’ He placed his hands on your shoulders pushing you away as he swallowed harshly. ‘We said. Just tonight. You have to go back.’ You nodded miserably, he was right you did have to go back.

He opened the door and stepped away from you leaving you no choice but to head outside, your taxi chose that moment to pull up with a squeal of its brakes. ‘Your taxi is here.’ You nodded sniffing slightly as you looked at him.

‘Bye Poe,’ it was barely a whisper like you didn’t want to say it but you had to struggle out the goodbye this time. You owed him that.

‘Goodbye, my love.’ It took all your effort to compose yourself at the use of his old nickname for you, it was his way of saying he’d keep you close to him always and forever. As the taxi drove away you didn’t look back, you couldn’t or you’d break down, shriek at the taxi to stop, fall back into his arms and you’d never find the strength to go back to England. You pulled your phone out with shaky hands and looked at the photo of your daughter smiling up at you. You were going home for her. The streets turned into a blur around you as the taxi sped you away, back to your life and tearing you away from the one you wanted.

You opened your eyes as the weak sunlight streamed through your curtains highlighting the cardboard boxes stacked up in your room. It had been over a month since you’d got back from America and things had moved quickly, the papers were signed, the house was sold and you bought a small two bed for you and Felicity. She was with her father this weekend and in all honesty you hated when she left. You walked through the house in your baggy t-shirt cursing softly as you stubbed your toe on another box in the hallway, hopping the last few steps you managed to ease yourself into your chair and woke your computer up. With a sigh you checked your emails annoyed to see you had nothing to attend to at this ungodly hour on a Sunday. You slumped at your desk, laying your head on the table trying not to get sucked into the swirling whirlpool of dark thoughts that struck you whenever you were on your own, threatening to pull you in the murky depths of hopelessness. A ping made you sit up and you saw Kylo had sent you an email. Finally, you thought, something to do! But you paused at the words on the email.

You have this week off. Enjoy.

Regards

Kylo

You stared at the email, you didn’t book time off? You’d been working 7 days a week almost every week since you got back. Furiously you shot an email back saying he must have made a mistake but the response was almost immediate.

I do not make mistakes. Don’t make me change my mind.

Kylo

You sat back in your chair frowning, you had nothing coming up, no one's birthdays, it wasn’t Easter or Christmas, no school holidays….your mind spun wildly as you entered the kitchen putting the coffee machine on. You really had no idea why Kylo would give you this week off, maybe he was rewarding your hard work but it was so out of character for him.

You swiftly grabbed your coffee as a knock sounded at the door, you quickly ran a hand through your hair but you just successfully made it worse. You pulled the door open expecting to see you ex bringing your daughter home early but your eyes were playing tricks on you. Shock held you rigid, your fingers gripping harshly to the door but you didn’t register the pain shooting down your arm. You had no words as you blinked stupidly at the person before you all coherent thought leaving your brain as he grinned at your reaction.

‘My love, are you going to let me in?’

‘I — I, yes…..’ you finally managed to step aside noting the large bag on his back as he gently prised your fingers off the door closing it softly behind him. You still couldn’t process he was really here as he leaned against the door, his eyes heavy and weary after the long journey. ‘Here.’ You held out the coffee and he took it, his eyes darting behind you.

‘Is she here?’ You shook your head, your heart beating erratically in your chest as he took a step towards you. ‘So I can do this?’ He whispered as his hand slipped round your waist, pulling you towards him he kissed you deeply. You pushed away, your hand flying to your tingling lips as you stared wide eyed at him.

‘You’re here.’

‘I am, sorry it took me so long selling the house was a pain and convincing Dad this was the right choice…’

‘You’re moving here? For good?’ He turned to look at you, his dark eyes hesitant.

‘I can buy my own place until you’re ready..’

‘No.’ You grinned, a stupidly big grin as you stared at Poe Dameron in your hallway, in England. ‘You move in here, we have wasted enough time.’

‘Only if you’re sure?’

‘Of course I’m sure. Holy fuck you’re actually here?’ You let out a short laugh in disbelief.

‘Tired, but I’m actually here.’

‘Jess told you where I was didn’t she?’

‘For once, yes she did.’ He held up a hand moving towards the front door. ‘I brought some extra gifts.’ Loud shouts erupted from outside as you saw all your friends standing on your doorstep. Tears filled your eyes as you greeted them all.

This is what you’d wanted, your friends and the man you had loved your whole life in your life always. Bet you’re glad you went to that reunion now.

#modern!poe dameron #poe dameron #poe dameron x female reader #angst #smut #CW: divorce mention #CW: children mention #kylo ren #fluff #one shot #school reunion #my writing #mylifeisactuallyamess

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jadedlavendergemini · 4 years ago

Text

A Summer To Remember

Pt 2

Summary: Lexi Goldstein has one goal in her life, to be a model. Her boyfriend, who is inspired to become a big time actor insists on taking a break and working at a summer camp with the rest of their friends. What go wrong?

A/N: I’m so terribly sorry for the long wait. I’ve been extremely busy with both jobs. Thank you guys for giving me a great amount of support with my fics. I just wish I was able to update more frequently. As always, let me know what ya’ll think!

Tag list (if anyone is still interested) : @instincts-baby @lovelylangdonx @fckinsupreme @7-wonders @angelicmichael @dark-mei-rose @langdxn

Part one

—————————————————————————-

“Alright great job everyone!” Xavier exclaimed to the class. “Just remember I wont be teaching for a couple of months but that doesn’t mean you can slack off! I want every one to be ready to go as soon as I get back!”

The class slowly made their way out of the door, some stopping to wish Xavier a good summer break. He flashed his famous white tooth smile, waving them off. His eyes wandering to his girlfriend who was in deep conversation with Montana Duke.

“So how was the dick last night?” Montana asked bluntly, still stretching her legs. The blonde chuckled at her friend’s wide eyed expression. “Oh don’t be so modest, Lex. You’ve been smiling like an idiot since the both of you got here.”

Lexi just shook her head before crossing her arms and leaning in, lowering her voice. “It was very nice.”

Before Montana could get in one of her many responses, Ray had stepped in and placed an arm around both of the girls.

“Okay, enough with the chit chat and let’s get GOING. I want to get to RedWood before it gets late.”

“What is your deal with leaving the city so soon, huh?” Xavier made his way over to the group and shoved Ray’s arm off of Lexi.

“Like I said, this city is about to get crazy. Just want to get a head start, man.” He moved his other arm off of Montana and nervously wiped his forehead.

“Right, well we’re going to hit the showers and we’ll be ready.” Montana looped her arm through Lexi’s and took off.

After showering, Montana and Lexi met up with the boys in the gym lobby. Lexi fell into Xavier’s side on the couch. Chet sat opposite of them, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his thighs. Ray sat halfway off the arm of the couch looking on edge as per usual that week.

“Alright so the drive to RedWood should only be about two hours so if you guys need anything, get it done now because I’d like to make as less stops as possible.” Xavier said to the group.

The group all shook their heads and Ray jumped to stand.

“Nope!” He said enthusiastically. “Let’s get rolling!”

Xavier and Chet rolled their eyes as they began to stand to exit. Before any of them could even head to the door, the doors to the lobby opened and small brunette hastily made her way to Montana.

“Montana!” She exclaimed, practically shocking the hell out of the blonde. “I- can I still come with you guys?”

“Of course, Brooke. What’s going on?”

“You look shaken,” Chet chimed in, dropping his bag to the ground and stepping towards the girl. “Are you alright?”

The girl, Brooke, was on the brink of tears. “H-he came for me last night. The Night Stalker! He broke into my apartment, he tried to kill me!”

Montana nodded, and guided Brooke to the couch. “What? You’ve got to be kidding! Are you alright?”

Lexi moved from Xavier and ran to the nearest water machine to grab a cup for the girl. The group just stood by as Montana tried to calm her down.

“Are you sure that’s who it was, Brooke?” Ray asked. “Not just some random dude?”

“Of course it was him! He said,” she lowered her voice. “He said he wanted me to swear on satan.”

Xavier sighed, brows raised. “Damn, that’s fucked up. You’re still welcome to come though.”

Montana nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! Come with us, we’ll be out in the woods. You’ll be safe there with us.”

As Brooke nodded, Lexi made her way back to Brooke with the water. “Here drink and just breathe.”

Brooke took the water with a small “thank you.” She looked around at the group. “I- I packed a bag just in case-“

“We’ll get the van loaded, no worries!” Ray spoke, signaling the boys to follow him.

“Yeah, plenty of room.” Chet gave a small smile towards the brunette before leaving the girls to sit in silence.

Lexi stood up from where was kneeling next to Brooke. “I’m Lexi, by the way. You must be Montana’s new friend.”

Brooke nodded. “Yeah, we met yesterday in class.”

“Lexi is Xavier’s girlfriend.” Montana said. “And my best friend, well more like a sister.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Brooke spoke.

“Same.” It remained quiet again until she spoke once more. “So do you really think it was him? There’s a lot of crazy shit that goes down in this city.”

“It was him.” Brooke declared, sitting the plastic cup on the coffee table. “He said he was going to come after me!”

Montana held her hands up. “Brooke, chill. It’s gonna be okay. You’ll come with us to Camp RedWood and by the time we get back, the cops will have most likely found him.”

Lexi nodded. “Exactly,” she patted Brooke’s shoulder for reassurance.

Brooke nodded and stood. The two blondes stood with her and they all made their way out of the gym.

———————————ASTR————————————

The first hour during the ride was filled with laughs and promises of the best summer to come. Lexi sat close to Xavier in the front of the van as the others chilled in the back. Brook sat between Montana and Chet, still obviously on edge.

Ray offered some alcohol to the brunette in hopes of calming her nerves. “I still don’t really know what happened.” She managed to say before taking a swig from Ray’s flask.

“Face it, Brooke. You’re a badass.” Montana smiled at the girl.

“The cops are going to find him right?” Brooke asked, still in not convinced.

“I’m sure they will, hun.” Lexi turned around in her seat to give Brooke a reassuring smile.

“What’s better than a few weeks out in the wilderness? And get paid for it!” Montana said, bringing a hand onto the brunette’s knee. “Brooke, you’re totally doing the right thing coming with us.”

“Absolutely, it’s going to be a nonstop party.” Ray spoke next. “The kids, the camp. I’ve got us enough blow and weed to last us through the summer. And let’s just hope that we don’t have to take any drug tests.” Ray, Lexi, Montana and Xavier laughed as Chet huffed.

“No, it’s not fucking funny. Point zero zero one. That’s how much shit those morons said was in my blood stream.” Chet huffed and crossed his arms.

“If you haven’t figured it out yet, Chet was disqualified from Team USA. He peed a pharmacy, so they kicked him out of the Olympics.” Montana said to Brooke, who tried to keep her eyes from starting at the man.

“Come on, you can be honest with us. We’re all friends!” Xavier chuckled.

“But I didn’t do anything! I worked my ass off for that spot!” Chet whined, now moving to pull his shirt off. “I mean look at this bod. Have you ever seen a body like this?”

Brooke shook her head and replied quietly with a “no.”

“You’re embarrassing yourself.” Ray chimed.

“Yeah? What the hell do you got, huh? Let’s see it!”

Montana, who had been watching the whole exchange with smirk spoke. “Yeah, I’m up for a good laugh.”

Lexi giggled as Ray struggled to remove his shirt but managed to finally get it off. He flexed whatever muscles he had. “Eat my shorts!”

A bright flash from Montana’s Polaroid camera blinded him for a moment. She just grabbed the film when it finally printed. “For memory purposes.”

“It’s like the ad always says ‘there’s always room for jello.’”

Ray rolls his eyes and digs through his backpack something. Then brings out a little clear vial of a white substance.

Without a word he gestures it to Chet who hesitates but gives up.

“What the hell! It doesn’t matter what I put in my body anymore anyways.” He says before taking hit off his finger.

Chet passes it back to Brooke, who shyly declines. Which it was now handed to Montana who was obviously down.

“More for me,” she snorted what she could before handing it to Lexi. “And for Lexi.”

Lexi rolled her eyes before lifting the vial towards her nose. She took a big wiff from the line in which she poured onto her hand.

Lexi managed to trade the coke for one of Ray’s famous blunts. She sunk back into seat next to Xavier with the blunt placed in between her fingers.

The curvy blonde took two hits before holding it up to her boyfriend’s mouth. Xavier rolled his eyes at whatever chatter his friends were causing in the back seat. He leaned into the joint that Lexi had held up for him.

Not bothering to wait for him to release the Smoke he had inhaled, she moved closer and placed her lips onto his plump ones. The smoke from the joint seeking its way back into Lexi’s mouth.

The two didn’t notice their friends were watching. Ray, being the more playful friend, decided to call them out.

“Come on you two, cut that shit out before Xav crashes the damn van!”

Lexi only smiled bashfully and sat back in her spot in the passengers seat. That didn’t stop Xavier from taking his large right hand to squeeze her thigh.

And in a low voice, avoiding their friends. He whispered into her ear. “Don’t forget what I said about sex in the woods.”

Lexi just smiled “Oh baby, don’t tease.” She winked.

Not much longer the group arrived at what looked like an older, broken down gas Station. Which was kinda eerie to Lexi, considering her knowledge of horror movies with gas stations like this one.

Everyone had hopped out to stretch their legs. Xavier moved passed the gas station attendant.

“Fill her up. How much?” He asks the older man.

“About a quarter,” he responded.

“And the pay phone?” He asked. The older man grunted And pointed towards the back by a garbage dump.

Lexi settles for a coke from a soda machine nearby. She scraped together a dollar from the change from Xavier’s van.

“You guys want anything from the vending machine?” Lexi asks the girls who are busy stretching their legs and talking.

“Nah, I’m good.” Montana replied.

“No thanks, I’m good.” Brooke responded.

Lexi shrugged and headed back to the vending machine to get her drink.

“Actually, Lexi could you do me a favor?”

“What?” She grabbed her soda and joined Montana And Brooke.

“I don’t know if you could tell but I think Brooke here has a crush on our dear, pain in the ass, Chet. Does she have you blessing?”

“It’s not what you-“ Brooke was cut off.

“Brooke, I really don’t care about you and Chet. Just go for it. Honestly, we only dated for 6 months.”

“You don’t care?”

“Nope. Chet And I have moved on from each other. And now I have Xavier.” Lexi said, eyeing her man walking back towards them. “So have fun!” She giggled to Brooke.

“See? I told you not to worry about her!” Montana Schabe Brooke’s shoulder a shove. “Xavier let’s go! We need to start making a move if we going to get to RedWood before dark!”

“Did she say RedWood?” The old man asked.

“Yeah, camp RedWood. We’re all camp counselors there for the summer.” Brooke answered.

“Turn around. Go back to the city.” The old man responded. “They should have never opened that place again.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. How much do we owe you?” Xavier interrupted, his hand resting on Lexi’s lower back.

He helped her into the back of the van as Ray paid the gas station attendant.

“Xav, what is he talking about?” Lexi asks.

Xavier shakes his head. “Nothing. Probably some random shit he says to anyone heading the same way. Don’t worry ‘bout it, babe.”

Xavier hopped back into the drivers seat. Chet stole Lexi’s spot but she was glad to be in the back with the girls and Ray.

Xavier was just finding the right tunes for the rest of the drive when the old man slapped a hand on the hood, causing them to jump in surprise.

“You’re all gonna die.” He spoke in such a deep tone that gave Lexi goosebumps.

The blonde just winked. And drove them off back towards the way.

Lexi however, couldn’t stop thinking of those words. What was he talking about? How much of Camp Redwood did this man know about? Obviously something she did not. And she wasn’t the only one.

——————————-ASTRM————————————

A/N: I know it’s shorter than expected but I’ve already got chapter 3 going. Please let me know what you think.

#a summer to remember #ahs:1984 fic #xavier plympton #Xavier plympton x oc #cody fern #ahs

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pinkrelish · 3 years ago

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I Tripped and Fell in Love With You

Chapter Summary: Emi’s deepest insecurity is revealed without her knowledge. This leaves Obito with more questions than answers as he tries to keep it from affecting his relationship with her.

Chapter: 5/12

Words: 4.5k

Read: AO3 / FFnet

Chapter 5: Secrets

Obito woke up to Emi tracing little circles on the plains of his chest.

He curled his large hand over her hips until it cupped the other side of her waist and he rocked back, pulling her in, keeping her too close to witness the tragedy of flesh he hadn’t the courage to show anyone else, ever.

To most, this type of embrace was saved for lovers after a long night, but it was a surface level intimacy. Parts of him were hidden behind a wall of anxiety he wasn’t ready to tackle just yet, despite their breakthrough yesterday. He had opened up and she accepted him. Not only accepted him, she liked him.

Obito pressed his mouth to her hair. Maybe he was growing too attached too soon, but he wanted to experience her sunlight, to have her hold him, take care of him, soothe his worries away. He would do anything to have her raw kindness bestowed upon him morning, noon, and night. Well, he would do most things. Being vulnerable and trusting was not his forte.

What was left on the blanket should’ve grossed her out, but to Emi, it was evidence he was attracted to her. Carnally, emotionally, romantically, the specificity didn’t matter. Even if it was a weakness in the moment, it was a chance. A chance she could get under his skin, feel his love. Some relationships started physically and led to more. She had a chance for more.

Emi raised her head to force his lips to her temple. Each beat of his heart pulsed against her jaw; it was music to her ears.

“Good morning,” Emi murmured.

“Morning,” he whispered. He drew his leg up hers and tossed it over while sliding his hand up her shirt to her shoulder blades. The shirt moved up as he dug his thumb in and swept it along the length of her muscles, returning the favor for the massage. The fabric bundled below her breasts and their stomachs touched, mixing their body heat.

In their new position, she had to veer back to look at him, and he had to duck his head to see her tooth-aching sincere smile. Sun broke through the edges of the blackout panels, and in the low light, he smiled back

“I don’t even wanna check the time,” she said.

“Yeah, you’d have a heart attack.”

She groaned and pressed her cheek to where it begged to be, over the soft drum of his heart. It spiked at her exploring hands; one grazing his side, the other down the trail of thick hair over his abs.

He wriggled from her hands, poorly concealing his laughter. “Stop! Stop, that tickles!” Ever up to no good, Emi skirted her fingertips over the jumping muscles, cackling at his bucking. “That’s it!”

Obito ripped the blankets off of them and topped her, back hunched, hands poised above her ribs. His taunting had no effect. All gloat fell from his face. He stared down at her smirk. Her annoyingly alluring lopsided grin, confident she was triumphant despite being at his mercy.

“Go ahead, but remember where my legs are,” she said, prodding her knee on his inner thigh. “Plus.” She gripped the cushions of the bed and scooted down until her face was under his and her feet hit the side of the van. Gripping his chin, she pulled him in for a kiss, but just before their mouths touched, she held up a finger between them. “We have a lot to do today. First, I have to finish my registration and find my shipping container-”she held up a second finger, swiping his plush bottom lip”-Then we have to set up the tent.” He closed his mouth, giving three of her fingers a gentle kiss. “And finally, the fun part, sorting and tagging everything that needs a price tag. That’s your job.”

His eyes glinted at her, amused that she would not only distract him from exacting his revenge, but refuse to kiss him knowing how much she wanted it as well. “Sounds fun,” he said, muffled by her fingers.

They dressed with their backs to one another, listening intently to each rustle of fabric, imagining what it covered. Emiko’s stomach experienced a zing of excitement at the sound of his pant’s zipper. Obito couldn’t keep himself from picturing her soft curves under the baggy overalls. They obscured them well, but he knew the secrets of her body. After this morning, he could summon them in his mind’s eye at a moment's notice. Seeing her stomach sink and her back arch under him.. If they didn’t have a legitimate reason to get up, he’d take her up on her offer from yesterday.

“C’mon, slowpoke. It’s just a few streets up,” Emi said as she took down the blackout panels and started the van.

~~~

Emi flashed some pink papers to a man at the front gate of the largest parking lot Obito had ever seen. The van rocked on washboard gravel. Weather beaten neon flyers for past flea markets sealed themselves to the ground. She drove around for some time, peering at cars and rows of shipping containers. Giving up on her hunt, she parked and grumbled.

“Why don’t you find us some quick breakfast while I fill out the rest of my paperwork and find this damn container.” She rolled open the door, one foot suspended in the air. Her face narrowed in a glare at him in the kitchen. “And no candy.” The door shut with a bang at Obito’s sneer.

He’d show her.

Obito put up the bedding-avoiding eye contact with the comforter-and lifted the table into place. Digging through the refrigerator, he laid out all the ingredients he needed next to a large skillet on the stovetop. She never did remember to teach him how to work it, but the interface was easy to navigate; he cranked up the heat and started cooking the meal she made him the other day.

He couldn’t stop smiling. Cooking for someone else. A woman. One who could, and did, change his life.

The source of all his problems, and their solutions, opened the door and gasped.

“You’re.. Aw, you’re actually cooking!” Emi clasped her hands and swooned. She pressed her face against his bicep and observed him scraping a few burnt peppers off the bottom of the pan. “You’re the sweetest man. I think I’ll keep ya.”

He groaned at the pinching of his cheek, though it did nothing to assuage the grin from his face.

“I found my shipping container, so we can get started whenever,” she said, setting out plates for him to dole out the potato hash.

This time, Obito didn’t have to second guess if he should leave room for her to sit next to him on the bench. She sat first, leaving him more than enough room. Her hopeful smile was one he could stare at for days.

“You really do look so handsome in that flannel.”

This domestic life.. Living with someone, taking in their familiar comforts.. He would make it happen.

~~~

In a perfect example of their personalities, Emi jogged to the shipping container, black boots slapping the asphalt, messy bun bobbing up and down, and childish overalls jingling at each thud. The pair she wore today were dyed purple and painted with white daisies to match the ribbon in her hair.

Obito chose to stroll, cycling between watching her and eyeing the open containers full of boxes and people in faded t-shirts and jeans digging through them with shouts ranging from a deep chorus of “yo!” to “are you fucking kidding me?” They held their phones out to record whatever they were looking at. His gaze settled on Emi again. She was waving at two people standing outside a pair of white and orange metal boxes large enough to fit an entire family of elephants. Adrenaline spiked in his gut, quickening his steps. These were her friends and he wanted to make a good first impression, employee or not.

The woman waved them over as the man stacked boxes. Her hair was curled and secured into a ponytail. The jet black tresses gave the illusion she was paler than she actually was. The bearded man dropped the box in his hands and reached into the pocket of his leather vest to pinch out a cigarette and light it. His broad shoulders raised at the first drag and fell as he reached out a meaty hand to clap Emi on the shoulder.

“Good to see ya again, kid,” he said, blowing the smoke over Emi’s head. He looked at Obito and waved the cigarette. “I’m Asuma. This is Kurenai.” He pointed it at the woman, smiling pleasantly. “You must be Obito, the sucker helping Emi.”

Obito gave a wry grin. “Sucker indeed.”

“The things we do for women.”

Kurenai kicked a small cardboard box at Asuma’s leg. “If you have time to talk, you have time to sort.” Her glare mirrored ferociously on his sunglasses. “And no smoking around the clothing.”

Emi whistled while walking away from them, nodding at her open container, signaling Obito should follow. His mouth twisted up at the matching gold bands glinting on the bickering couple’s left hands.

Having no patience, Emi ducked her head out the container. “Hello? I didn’t hire muscle to stand around and chitchat. Especially with such a bad influence,” alluding to Asuma with her tone. Obito groaned, knowing he only stood there for an extra second or two.

Asuma‘s belly laugh teased him. “Good luck, son,” he said, stamping out his cigarette, obeying his wife’s orders.

Obito didn’t bother to hide his elation at his assumption, though. The wild prospects of other people thinking him and Emi were a couple were going exactly as planned. The more he could convince the outside world, the more he could convince her. He needed tangible hope that she wouldn’t leave him once they returned to Konoha. He couldn’t out-right ask such a thing of someone he just met, but if she fell for him, maybe he wouldn’t have to beg.

The bright sun stunned his eyes, forcing him to blink away spots as he entered the darkness of the container, and once they faded, his breath hitched at the sight of her.

Emi had opened a box at her feet, giggling and holding something up to her chest. “Cute, right?” The strappy red swatch of lace called lingerie was sheer, showing off her overalls through it. She held the cups to her breast and debated the size.

If her bikini left little to his imagination, this would certainly leave none.

Obito gulped and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Want help with the tent?”

“H-Huh?” Obito stammered, neck reddening.

“The tent.” She swept a hand at the blue canopy and metal poles he was seconds from tripping over. “Kurenai was waiting for us to show up so we could set them all up together.”

“Oh, yeah. Right.”

~~~

Emi’s strained arms shook as she waited for Obito to help click the last tent pole into place. Kurenai’s red canopy whipped in the wind. Asuma hefted sandbags around the legs to keep it in place.

A warm body pressed along her back. A scarred hand reached above her and completed the task, pole clicking into place. Emi let go, huffing and shaking the feeling back into her limbs. As she turned, a blur of black and red came into focus.

Being in Obito’s vicinity like this brought the same tranquility it always did. But picturing his body a different way, unclothed as it was this morning, lean muscle laying in wait, the swell of his chest, the warmth of his throat as she refrained from the insatiable urge to nibble the thin skin under his ear.

Emi closed her mouth before the drool leaked over.

Obito raised his eyebrows. He didn’t move away.

For the first time, she appreciated the charcoal black of his eyes. The color was unique to him. She could wax poetry of its depths.

His fingers brushed her arm up to her shoulder. They skipped over her neck to skim over her cheekbones. The movements happened fast in reality, slow as she savored them. He acted with purpose to trace her jaw and angle her chin upwards.

Nothing else existed. He was the only color in her life. Her eyes closed. Obito leaned in, not for the first time since they met. Nothing else mattered.

Asuma flicked open his lighter. The mechanism sputtered to a flame.

Obito was the first to recover. His hand left her chin to land atop her head. Like an awkward nuisance, he ruffled her hair. Emi’s abrupt anger seethed.

Obito’s face and tone changed from voracious wanton desire to impassive patronization. “Good job.”

“Oh, fuck off.” She swatted at him and joined Kurenai on her walk to the containers. Asuma covered his laugh with a hacking cough at Obito’s unfortunate case of nerves.

~~~

Emi dictated what Obito did through shuffles and grunts. She assembled the metal clothing racks at the speed of lightning while he opened boxes and sorted them into clothing types: t-shirts, mens outerwear, womens outerwear, baby clothes, and lingerie. She teased him about the last one saying as much as she’d love to watch him struggle to hang all the delicate bits of lace, he’d be better off shoving hangers in sweatshirts. Thus, he dug through the plastic tub of pullovers from long before he was born and hung them on the racks for her, placing the ones without price tags to one side for later.

Emi was too busy to notice. She searched through the boxes of tees on a mission. Panting, stiff fingers aching. Every so often she would unfold one, click her tongue, and toss it in the pile with the rest.

Until she found the one. It was kept folded and stashed away in her reusable canvas bag, of which was also promptly folded over to hide what was inside. Once she found what she was looking for, she flipped through the baby clothes, placing some in white trash bags.

Obito took a break for fresh air, not at all surprised to see Asuma doing the same but for smoking. Kurenai’s portable speaker echoed off the metal walls with intense drumming he swore pumped his heart faster. Asuma complained about being bossed around-then he winked at Obito, saying he liked it. Obito had no response but a simple stammer acknowledging he heard the man.

Hours later, sneezing from dust and in need of a shower, all four emerged and passed Emi’s phone around to order food.

Paper bags went tumbling in a cascade of brown onto the table in the van. The boys threw themselves on to the benches while Kurenai gathered cutlery and Emi filled glasses of water. Obito and Asuma mirrored one another, heads back, legs splayed, and arms draped across the back of the seats.

Emi sat as she normally did, not caring they had guests over. She cozied up to Obito until every part of their legs touched and her shoulders nudged his arm around them. A relaxed smile graced his face. He wasn’t sure what he was thinking, whether it was the pressure of Asuma’s eyes watching them under his sunglasses or Kurenai’s twisting of her wedding ring or Emi’s lax policies regarding public displays of affection, but Obito was overcome with an urge to show her what she meant to him.

He straightened himself up and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. It was a sorry excuse for where he actually wanted to kiss her, but it would do for now. A band-aid fix for earlier. Her friends looked surprised at the very least.

Kurenai placed everyone's order in front of them and the questions began. “So, how long have you two been dating?”

His arm retracted from her shoulders as if she scolded him. Reality dropped his love-sick facade. In two seconds, he’d have to hear Emi reject the idea of them as a couple.

Emi sat in silence for a beat, face blank, then broke out in her typical blaring smile that melted social tension. “Oh, we’re not dating!”

Her denial hurt worse than anticipated.

“How long have you two known each other? You seem pretty close,” Asuma asked, skeptical, mouth stuffed with tacos. Hot sauce fell out the back end, streaking his beard, and Kurenai was quick to hand him a napkin.

Obito answered, “We met last week.” Emi confirmed, nodding.

“A week..?”

Emi’s phone rang on the table and she jolted at the name on screen. “Sorry, gotta take this!” She leapt from the van, gravel crunching under her boots. Obito watched her through the back windows. She held the phone to her chest, pacing for a few seconds before answering.

“Are you..” Kurenai started. “I don’t mean to pry, but I assume you’re interested in Emiko?” She folded her hands on the table. Her demeanor had changed. She wasn’t quite glaring at him, but her lips were pressed and Asuma removed his sunglasses. Around his eyes were tan lines from goggles, giving him a raccoon-like mask. He balled the napkin in his fist. Their undivided intrigue on his love life sent Obito into a pool of restlessness.

“Oh, uh.” This felt like a job interview. His fork fell from his hand, sending a cube of tofu bouncing across the table. Drinking water proved to be a useful barrier for dissuading his mouth from spilling out the first embarrassing words that came to mind. He bought his time, setting down the glass. Now, he could answer with confidence. “Yes, I am.”

“We ask because..”

“It’s clear you like her,” Asuma finished. “I don’t know how well you two have gotten to know each other in only a week, but there’s somethin’ you should know about her.”

“She’s a wonderful person!” Kurenai rushed to console Obito’s confusion. “It’s just, this may explain some things.”

“If it’s about her husband’s death, I know.”

Kurenai smiled softly and placed her lithe, elegant hand over Obito’s scarred fist. “It’s great she told you that, but this is different. We’ve known her for years and you may have noticed how, eh, naive she is, and we don’t want anyone exploiting her.”

Emi’s lungs collapsed at the heavy sigh leaving her body and shoved the sweaty phone in the front pocket of her overalls. She closed the van door behind her, clicking on the fan in the kitchen. Everyone had finished eating and threw away their trash while her food sat cold and untouched. She ate it anyway. Stuffing it ruthlessly in her mouth in between breaths complaining about her client and her cancelled flight and the resounding gray-hair-inducing roundabout of booking new flights, hotels, not to mention, praying her luggage was handled appropriately. This sort of trouble wasn’t wasted on locals; this client was the one who bought out entire stocks of frilly dresses for infants to sell them in her home country. The money was worth it.

Everyone nodded politely, patiently listening to Emi’s venting.

Emi snapped her fingers and pointed at Kurenai. “Oh! Are you pregnant yet?”

Kurenai’s red lips twitched into a kind smile. The men’s wide-eyed stares reduced to grimaces. Asuma put on his sunglasses and Obito fidgeted, digging his heel into the toes of his other foot. “Not yet, Emi,” Kurenai said.

“My client’ll be here by tomorrow at 2, so make sure you go through the bags I put aside in case there’s any of the really good stuff in there you want.”

The laugh was hollow, trying it’s best to fill the room. “I’m sure I have enough clothes from you for the first three years of the baby’s life.” Asuma squeezed his wife’s knee to calm the stress on her vocal chords.

“Right, right.” Emi giggled, waving off the idea.

Obito spaced out as she ate the rest of her meal in silence. How didn’t he see the signs before?

The rest of the day was spent sorting, categorizing, and hanging clothing in order of size. Emi wrote the inventory number and gave it to Obito, who wrote the price and pinned it on the item. Their hands turned green with ink. She locked the shipping container for the night and climbed into the driver’s seat. “We’ll use my gym membership to shower.”

The water plastered Obito’s hair to his scalp. It snaked down his temple to the drain in one long string of droplets. It splashed and joined the whirlpool. He ran a hand down his forehead, disrupting the flow, and tried to compartmentalize the information from Kurenai and Asuma into two neat boxes: how he should feel, and how he does feel.

It shouldn’t be an issue at all; he should be able to continue treating Emi as he had since they met, and yet, he couldn’t help but lose the bite from his tone, keep his bitching to minimum, and mellow out on the grouchy exterior and be all around gentler to her.

Their hypothesis was just that, a guess. They didn’t truly know if anything was wrong with Emi, but as soon as they divulged their information, it made sense. A lot of what Emi did made sense.

And worse, he started to question which parts of her were real and which were a farce. Was her sunshine personality all an act?

~~~

Emi sat at the kitchen table waiting for Obito. Outside the metal walls, cars honked, dogs barked, kids rode by on skateboards. The debate in her head yelled above all of them.

Obito was withholding affection.

Analyze, decipher, extrapolate, examine. She did it all to their conversations over the past few days until she came to this morning. Their embrace. He returned her unfiltered adoration without apprehension. That afternoon, he almost kissed her on the mouth-unless she mistook his body language.

Then it was all taken away. He hardly spoke to her, looked at her, barely acknowledged when she would flirt with him.

She messed up somewhere. She did something wrong. Now, she had to fix it.

The door handle clacked, the wheels rolled. Emi put her best mask forward, digging deep to find all the love she had, all the excitement she felt in her heart to see his face again.

“Hey!”

“Hey,” he said, closing the door.

Emi’s smile never failed to brighten his mood. Until now. He passed her without a glance. She forged on with her plan, “I have a surprise for you. I was waiting to give it to you tomorrow, but I just can’t!” He hung his toiletry bag and towel in the bathroom as she moved past him to grab her canvas bag from the front.

“A surprise?”

She pulled out a folded black t-shirt, tossed the bag, and held it to her chest like a precious dandelion in a windstorm. Her eyes softened once he stared at her. His body seemed to droop, like his arms were leadened, dragging him down.

“I want you to have this. Wear it tomorrow, it’ll make people jealous.” She winked and handed it to him. Obito pinched the shirt on either side of the collar and held it up. It unfolded in squares, revealing the full graphic in waves.

“Emi..” Obito’s shoulders trembled, then shook, then caved forward as he brought the shirt to his chest. He repeated her name in a high-pitched whisper as thick tears streamed over his cheeks. He buried his face in the fabric, soaking it in big blotches. He swayed, face pained at the memories it brought forth. Hiccuping sobs left his mouth. His knees gave out when she wrapped her arms around him. Supporting his weight was no easy task, but Emi welcomed it. It was the affection she required. She earned it.

Obito came up for air. He scooped her up in his arms. For so long, he had been empty. And the emptiness was replaced by her. Her face filled his bleak thoughts, her warmth spread joy in his hollow chest cavity, her personality coaxed out the one he had lying under his mental illness, her body completed his like the perfect puzzle piece.

He set her down and ran his fingers through her hair, not caring it stuck to his wet face.

“It’s okay to cry, I’ll be here.” She made big strokes with her thumb to gather the tears. “You’re happy, right?”

“So happy,” he whispered, tucking her against his neck. “You make me so happy.”

“I’m glad.” The relief showed by her body going pliant on him, melding them as one unit.

“This was my dad’s favorite wrestler.”

“The way you lit up when you saw it a few days ago.. I knew I wanted you to have it. And, bonus, his flannel matches yours.” The wrestler had torn the sleeves off his, but sure enough, it matched perfectly.

They parted and Obito clutched the shirt, smiling at her unabashedly, letting her see the pure happiness she caused him.

She did it. She fixed it.

~~~

That night, Obito researched until he was rubbing his dry, itchy eyes more than reading. Everything lined up with the information in the articles, though now he was questioning if Kurenai should've told him at all. He was grateful to hear it, but it invaded Emi’s privacy and put more questions in his head than answers.

His arm had gone numb with blood loss by the time she peeped open an eye and groaned. The glow over his face went black as he noticed her coming to. The last thing he wanted was to confront her now, in the hours before her big event. She needed the rest. According to what he read, she must always be overwhelmed and overworking, hyper aware of all interactions and expressions and how to respond to anything and everyone appropriately. It must be exhausting, like the social anxiety he experienced, but several times more intense-because if she failed to read certain social cues, it would ostracize her. The few times her face went lax and her voice deepened foretold the trust she had in him to show her true self. But they were just glimpses.

“You should be sleeping.” She kissed his bare shoulder. He responded in kind, flexing the muscles where her lips stayed, and reached up to caress her cheek.

“I know, I know. Don’t worry about me.” A term of endearment stopped short on his tongue. He wanted to say it, but he needed answers first. Several of them. They could wait. Tomorrow-more appropriately, today-would be long for him, and no doubt, far more taxing for her.

Regardless if he should feel this way or not, part of it irked him. It betrayed every gut instinct to open up to her, and he expected the same. If she was hiding behind masks this entire time, did he fall in love with them and not her?

The negativity was clouding his judgement. He pushed the doubt aside physically, shaking his head. He’ll find time to ask her later and go from there. For now, he would continue to regard her in the adulation she deserved. Because she gave him a chance.

#obito #obito uchiha #obito x oc #obito x reader #naruto #naruto fanfic

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littledrummeraussie · 4 years ago

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At Christmas All The Roads Lead Home | part 2

Christmas morning finds Ashton and Y/N reminiscing about their very first holiday together – with both of their flights cancelled the strangers make the hasty decision to rent a room until they can leave for their own destinations. The pair soon finds out that there’s much more than they’ve bargained for when there’s only one bed in their hotel room. story masterlist. | masterlist. word count: 3488 words tags/warnings: past: an unhealthy load of flirting. food sharing. some heart-to-heart talks. snowball fights. there’s still only one bed. & present: dad!Ashton. fem!mom!reader. married fluff with kids and a dog. Christmas morning cuteness. tooth rotting fluff. nostalgia. a healthy load of teasing.

“Do you think we could eat some more of that cookie we’ve left out for Santa?” Ashton nodded towards the kitchen, a grin spreading across his face. “We could tell the boys the reindeers ate them.”

“Daddy doesn’t have a sweet tooth, the reindeers do,” you lovingly rolled your eyes at him, hands sliding onto his face to pinch his cheeks, making him giggle.

“There’s something else Daddy loves that’s sweet,” his eyes were sparkling with mischief, hands sliding under your thighs to pick you up, and you muffled your squeal against his neck.

Your arms wrapped around his shoulders as he stood up, blankets falling to the floor in a heap. Ashton squeezed your butt lightly, brushing a smiley kiss onto your lips before adjusting you up on his hips, bringing you over to the kitchen. He put you up on the counter and stepped between your legs, already reaching for the plate of chocolate chip cookies you have baked the night before while he finished decorating the house with the boys. Their giggles still rang in your ears as you recalled them chasing each other through the kitchen, tiny arms wrapping around your legs for shelter before Ashton picked them up, pressing a series of kisses on their cheeks and noses, making them squeal with laughter.

Ashton broke a cookie in half before putting it in his mouth, leaning forward so you can bite into it as well, your lips lightly brushing in the middle. A smile pulled at your lips at this and the memory of how sharing Christmas cookies became a tradition for the two of you, something that now you also did with your sons. When the first batch was done you brought one over to the three of them; Tyler and Henry were cuddled into Ashton’s sides, watching a movie together while Bailey napped at their feet. Your heart was ready to burst with love as you watched him breaking the cookie into three, carefully giving the boys their own portions before sharing the remaining piece with you.

“What are you thinking about?” Ashton pushed himself up on his tiptoes, playfully biting your nose as he leaned closer, and you scrunched up your face, pulling back a little.

“You’re so weird. Why did I marry you?” you reached for another cookie and broke off a piece, bringing it to his mouth.

“Dunno. Why did you marry me?” he accepted the cookie from you, munching on it as he spoke. “I mean, the sex is really good, so…”

“Yeah, it was only for the sex,” you chuckled, curling a leg around his waist to pull him closer. “No, I was thinking about our day in London. How you stole half my croissant at breakfast.”

“Hey, I shared my panini with you,” Ashton gave you a faux pout. “And it was a damn good panini, thank you very much.”

“Yeah, I know, I brought you there,” you stuck your tongue out at him before popping a chocolate chip in your mouth. “Guess this is why I married you.”

“Because of the panini?” he furrowed his eyebrows and you leaned forward, pressing a kiss onto the bridge of his nose, stroking your thumb over his scruffy cheek.

“No, silly,” you shook your head, smiling at him “Because not a day has gone by without you making me laugh. Making me fall in love with you even more.”

*****

It surprised you how easy it was to convince Ashton to have breakfast with you in a small corner café instead of your hotel’s restaurant. Maybe it was the promise of fresh coffee and the world’s best panini, or maybe the offer that this time it will be you paying for both of your food. Either way you couldn’t complain as you’ve made your way towards the breakfast place.

“So what are your plans for today?” he asked as you both settled down at a table, waiting for your orders to arrive. “Or do we just walk around London all day long?”

“I mean, you’re welcome to go back to the hotel but I’ve thought we could make the most out of this situation,” you shrugged, giving him a smile. “I mean, when was the last time you’ve seen a winter wonderland like this in LA?”

“Can’t recall,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “But you have to promise me you’ll join at least one adventure of my choice today.”

“I mean – you were willing to come and have breakfast with me, so I guess that’s the least I can do.”

“We were sleeping in the same bed last night, having breakfast together is just the next step,” Ashton sent you a wink, one that could only be described as flirty. “And anyways, you’ve promised me the world’s best panini. Now I don’t know how you know that, but I trust you on this one. Can’t disappoint me now.”

“It is the best, I promise you.”

Before any of you could make another comment the waiter has arrived with your food and coffees, making both of you focus on your breakfast. You needed to stifle your laugh as Ashton moaned around his sandwich, clearly enjoying it as much as you’ve thought he would.

“Okay, you were right. This really is the best panini I’ve ever had,” he took another bite of it, eyes almost rolling back from how much he enjoyed it.

“Told you so,” you sipped you coffee with a smile, lightly kicking his foot under the table. “I wouldn’t have brought you here if it wasn’t the best.”

“Yeah, yeah, but your croissant is looking really good too…” his gaze moved from your face to the plate in front of you, and you quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Nooo. Don’t you dare…” but you were too late – a mischievous grin pulled at his lips as he quickly reached across the table to snatch up your breakfast, taking a hearty bite of it. “Ashton!”

“That’s a damn good croissant too,” he munched on it between words, and you rolled your eyes at him, laughing at his antics.

“I’m really glad, but you just ate my breakfast,” you kicked his foot again playfully, and he curled his ankle around yours, making heat crawl up your neck.

“Here,” he placed his plate in front of you, giving you another smile. “You can have the other half of mine.”

“Giving up your panini for me? What a gentleman,” you took a bite of the offered sandwich as Ashton kept eating your croissant. “Guess we’re getting better at sharing?”

“Yeah, I think we are,” he rested his chin in his hand, still smiling softly at you.

Your legs stayed tangled together under the table until you’ve finished breakfast.

*****

“It was one of the best days of my life,” Ashton pulled you to the edge of the counter, wrapping both your legs around his waist as he hugged you, face hidden in the crook of your neck. “I never wanted it to end.”

“And to think we were both on our way back home…” you hummed in agreement, fingers slowly brushing through his curls.

“We were already home,” he mumbled against your skin, lips pressing a soft kiss on your jaw. “We just didn’t know it yet. That home is not a place, but a person.”

*****

“You know, there’s something I’ve wanted to ask you since yesterday,” Ashton’s shoulder brushed against yours as the two of you made your way back to the hotel.

“So why didn’t you?” you let yourself slightly bump into him, making him let out a chuckle.

The day was spent walking around London and getting lost in the snowy city, window shopping and buying whatever food or drink one of you started craving. Both of you ended up with a few trinkets and last minute gifts that you just couldn’t leave behind before Ashton treated you to lunch, claiming that he also knows places you have to try out. He shared stories with you about the time he spent in England, how snowball fights with the boys were his favourite past time around this time of year, and in the end he made good on his promise and dragged you out to ice skating even though none of you have done it in years.

“What were you doing here?” he finally asked, tucking his hands in his pockets. “I mean before you were meant to go home.”

“You really wanna know?” you chuckled and he nodded, making you continue. “One of my friends came up with the brilliant idea to have a singles trip. Guess her bucket list included something about hooking up with a British guy but she didn’t want to come alone, so she dragged us with her. We rented a house and just had fun there, or went out to meet people, you know. She did find herself a guy, and it looked kinda serious, so I guess it wasn’t for nothing.”

“But you were alone at the airport,” your path led you through a park and Ashton kicked one of the snow piles, not looking up at you. “Did something happen?”

“I wanted to stay for a day or two,” you shrugged then a moment later let out a sigh. “I didn’t actually want to go home.”

“Why?” Ashton stopped and blinked at you, the confusion clear on his face. “I’ve thought you couldn’t wait to be back in LA.”

“There’s nothing wrong with LA. Just… going home means I have to go home, to see my family, and those visits usually end up, well– let’s just say they care too much about my personal life.”

“Is there someone waiting for you at home?” he stepped closer, the toes of his boots touching your shoes, and you looked up at him, shrugging.

“Does the guy my parents want to set me up with count?” at that Ashton let out a breath, cheeks turning slightly pink as a smile pulled at his lips.

“No, I don’t think so,” he chuckled, and you did the same, slowly continuing your way back to the hotel. “What about here?”

“What do you mean?” you had a pretty good idea what he was asking, but wanted to hear it from him.

“Have you met someone in London?” his shoulder bumped into yours again, and you stopped, eyes meeting after a few seconds.

“Do you count?” you quirked an eyebrow, the slightest bit of flirt in your voice.

“Maybe…” it was Ashton’s turn to shrug, his face turning another shade of red as he kicked the snow with his boots, quickly casting his gaze down.

“Then yeah. Maybe,” you stepped away with a giggle, making sure you brushed against him. “Are you coming? I don’t wanna miss dinner, Irwin.”

Ashton shook his head with a little laugh, scurrying after you. He fell into step with you, quickly picking up your previous conversation about his early days in London as you made your way across the park.

“…and then Calum somehow locked himself out in his boxers and– Y/N? Where ar– fuck, that’s cold!”

You laughed as Ashton turned around, shoulders pulled up and jaw clenched as he realized you just hit him with a snowball. You already had another one at the ready, and you could see the flash in his eyes as he dropped his shopping bags, reaching for the closest pile of snow.

“Oh no, you didn’t…” he gave you a grin, aiming at you.

“I think I just did!” you shouted at him, giggling as he missed hitting you with the snowball just by a few inches.

“I’m gonna get you, you can’t run away!” Ashton suddenly started running towards you, and you shrieked with laughter as he chased you through the park.

You felt his arms wrap around your waist, both of you crashing to the ground in a fit of giggles, trying to catch your breaths. His pupils were blown wide, lips slightly chapped but so kissable as he pushed himself up, looking at you like it was the first time. A second passed, maybe two, then he collapsed next to you on his back, giggling again.

“Told ya I’ll get you.”

“You still couldn’t hit me with a snowball,” you poked his side which made Ashton laugh even more.

“God, you hit my neck! It’s all the way down my shirt! I’m soaked!” he let out one last chuckle before looking at you.

“You can shower first when we get back,” you smiled at him and he just nodded. “We don’t want you to catch a cold.”

“Can we go back now?” Ashton pouted at you, pairing it with his best puppy dog eyes, and you stifled another laugh, sitting up.

“Sure,” you reached for his hand, none of you feeling the cold around you when your fingers touched. “Come on, Australia. Let’s go home.”

*****

Someone started moving upstairs and both of you stopped in your tracks, listening to the sounds coming closer and closer to the stairs. A moment later you’ve heard a thump, and soon Bailey appeared next to you, stretching and yawning.

“Well, good morning to you too, boy,” Ashton reached down to give him an ear scratch, and Bailey nuzzled against his palm. “Is everything okay upstairs?”

The dog nudged Ashton’s knee before turning around and making his way to the door. Ashton leaned back to you, pressing a kiss on your cheek before nodding towards Bailey.

“I’ll let him outside. Don’t go anywhere.”

“Sure, hot stuff,” you chuckled, and Ash wiggled his eyebrows at you. “Bring him back for some biscuits!”

A few minutes later the dog was already back in the kitchen and you slid down from the counter, reaching for the treats he loved the most. You saw Ashton smiling as you crouched down to Bailey, petting his muzzle as he patiently waited for his treats. He nuzzled against your side before starting munching on the biscuits, taking them one by one from your palm.

“Who’s a good boy? Yes, yes you are, Bailey, you are a good boy,” you stroked his side as you talked to him, and Ashton joined you too, scratching his ear again.

“Did you know I’ve got him for you because you’ve told me you wanted a dog for Christmas?” Ashton caught your eyes over Bailey’s head, and you bit your bottom lip, blushing.

“I didn’t think you remembered,” you confessed. “I just thought it was a lucky coincidence.”

“No, I did remember. I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to get you a dog, and thought our first Christmas as the Irwins would be it. Of course, I didn’t know you were pregnant, in that case I would have thought about it twice, but I wasn’t about taking him to a shelter just because of that.”

“I’m still amazed you gave up your precious garden just so me and the boys could have a dog,” you gave the last biscuit to Bailey, and Ashton beamed, a blush on his cheeks.

“I love you. I love the boys. And I love Bailey. A garden is just a garden – but you’re my family, and I would do anything for you,” he squeezed your hand, and you tangled your fingers together.

“I couldn’t ask for more. And I love you too, Ash. So much.”

*****

By the time Ashton got out of the shower your dinner had been brought up to your room, so he settled down next to you, knees slightly pressed together as you ate your food. A blanket was wrapped around his shoulders, and you joked if he was trying to protect himself from another snowball, for which he just stuck his tongue at you.

“Really funny, Y/N,” he rolled his eyes, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

“I do think it was funny,” you stifled your giggle, and he poked your knee with his finger, making you laugh even more.

“You’re still weird. I kinda like it,” he said, almost as an afterthought, but before you could react to that he already moved onto something else. “What about the cookie? Did they send that up for us as well?”

“No, that was actually me,” you confessed, and you suddenly felt a bit shy and embarrassed. “I would say it’s a peace offering, but– it’s a Christmas tradition in my family.”

“Now you have my attention,” Ashton put his elbow on his knee, resting his chin in his palm. “You’re gonna tell me?”

“Okay, traditionally it’s a Christmas apple not a cookie, but it was easier to get this one,” you started, pulling your legs under you. “They say that those who are together at Christmas and share an apple then they are all going to spend the next Christmas together too. It’s something my family has been saying and doing since forever, and… I mean, it’s Christmas Eve and we’re both here and not at home where we thought we will spend the holidays and…”

Ashton reached for your hand and squeezed it, tangling your fingers together. He gave you an encouraging smile, nodding a little to go on.

“I just thought that– that this could be something that we could do? Just a little piece of home while we’re here,” you mumbled, not really daring to look up at him. “It’s silly, I know. I’m being weird, I’m sor–”

“No! No,” Ashton turned towards you, thumb brushing over your cheek. “It’s really lovely. I really like the sentiment behind it.”

You felt your cheeks heat up and you quickly reached for the cookie, holding it up for Ashton. He grabbed the other half and broke it off, never looking at the baked good but at you, even when he brought it to his mouth to take a bite.

“So – does this mean you want to spend next year’s Christmas with me again?” he chuckled, munching on his cookie and you shrugged, a small smile pulling at your lips.

“Who knows, we might get stuck at the airport again. In that case it’s good to know I have someone who’s willing to share his room with me.”

“If we’re both in LA next year I’ll make sure to share a cookie with you at Christmas,” Ashton winked, his other hand still holding onto yours.

“Sounds like a promise,” you chuckled, taking another bite of your cookie.

It was around midnight when both of you found your ways to your shared bed after watching a tacky Christmas movie or two. Ashton was already wrapped in his blanket when you came back from the bathroom, slipping under your own sheets. He propped himself up, cheek resting against his palm as he looked at you and you turned towards him, blinking up at him.

“What would be your ultimate Christmas present?” he asked, voice soft and curious. “What is something you hope to find under the tree?”

“A dog, maybe,” you answered after some time, a smile pulling at the corner of your mouth and you saw Ashton mirroring you. “I miss having one. Would love to have someone waiting for me when the day is over.”

“Yeah, they have that effect on you,” he reached towards you, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. “They are great company. I have one back in Australia – kinda miss little old Indie.”

“That’s a cute name. I would love to see them,” you rubbed your cheek against your pillow, getting comfortable. “What about you?”

“I have everything,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “The only thing I wish is to see my family. I really miss them, haven’t had the chance to go home since forever. I’m really lucky with my life and job, but family is family. They’ll always be on top on my list.”

“I’m sure we will be able to travel in a day or two. Snowstorms aren’t forever. You’ll be home before you know it,” your eyes moved to the window where you could still see the snow slowly falling. “And me too.”

“While I do miss being at home… right now I couldn’t ask for more,” Ashton whispered, and you knew there was something he wasn’t saying, something that you felt too.

“Me neither,” you shook your head with a smile, slowly closing your eyes. “Good night, Ash.”

“Remind me to show you a picture of Indie tomorrow,” he lightly chuckled, and you felt him brush another lock of hair away from your forehead. “Good night, Y/N. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” you mumbled, already drifting away.

You still heard Ashton quietly humming, something that sounded a lot like I’ll Be Home For Christmas, and you could swore you felt him moving a little closer before you fell asleep.

Morning found you with fingers lightly tangled together between the two of you, his touch warm and comforting, and – even in this strange city – feeling a lot like home.

------------------------------------------------

» part 1 » part 2 » part 3 » part 4

taglist.

@mymindwide @loveroflrh @sadistmichael @notinthesameguey @babylonashton @talkfastromance4 @dead-and-golden @fuckyeah5sostakemehome @karajaynetoday @myfavfanficsever @myloverboyash @suchalonelysunflower @sexgodashton @rebelwith0utacause @creampiecashton @irwinkitten @allthestarsandthemoon @castaway-cashton @spicycal @wontlastimokwiththat @luckyduckydoo @sunshineeashton @2fangirl4u @talkfastdrummer @pastelbabygirl19 @istantommoandtpwk @perfectlieirwin @thesweetness-irwin-archive @c-a-l-m-hood @youngblood199456 @tiannaxox2 @caffeinecalum @fanficsandotherthings @melanindarling

#ashton irwin #ashton irwin x reader #ashton irwin fanfiction #dad!ashton #afic: at christmas all the roads lead home #fiction time #series: at christmas

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pettyprocrastination · 4 years ago

Text

Panty & Bambi

Francisco “Catfish” Morales x Roller Derby!Reader

Summary: Helena Morales celebrates her 12th birthday at the roller rink, where she plays cupid for her kind father who’s attention has been captured by a confident skater that danced about the rink.

Warnings: profanity, uhhh mention of alcohol?? Frankie being a fucking BOTTOM about buff thick women lmao.

Word Count:2.9k

Perm Taglist: @honestlystop

authors note:Wrote this because I’m sad about not being able to do derby this season and i’ve been watching lots of bouts to comfort myself in it lmao. Big inspiration to @qveenbvtch who wrote a fucking MAGICAL javi rollerskating fic called Ring My Bell!! It’s so fucking good read it here !!!!!! Big thank you to my boo @captainsamwlsn for reading this for me ILY Thais so fkin much <3

“For her next birthday could your daughter pick something that isn’t fucking murder on my knees?”

Frankie stared at his friend and god father to his now twelve year old daughter under the flashing fluorescent lights of the roller rink before taking a sip of the cheap beer in his hand. “Don’t whine Santi.” Frankie laughed. “We both know you’d do anything for her.”

Which was true.

Helena had only been a baby when the group went to Columbia to take down Lorea. They had always been a close-knit group of friends, but what happened on that trip, that shit-show of a mission, made them appreciate having each other even more. They visited Tom’s family when they were able to, the first few months after his death his ex-wife wouldn’t even let them on the front lawn. She took to screaming and cursing at them for his death, they didn’t tell her about the teenage boy that took her ex-husband’s life to avenge his brother.

Tess did in fact get into Harvard. She sent Pope letters from time to time. She didn’t blame him or the others for her father’s death like her mother did. The boys couldn’t say the same for themselves.

But the family they did have, the sweet chunky cheeked little infant girl Frankie was proud to call his daughter? Oh they all worshiped her. Little Helena had them all wrapped around her finger from the moment they set eyes on her.

The men had been there for every tea party, fairy tale, and birthday. They watched her go from mashing cake into her mouth at one years old to laughing at a skate rink with her friends at twelve.

Frankie had been there for everything and his boys were there to help him.

He couldn’t say the same for Liana.

“Twelve years brother.” Pope remarked. Frankie groaned and let his head fall forward.

“You don’t have to tell me man. Where did it all go?” He looked out on the rink with a smile, watching his daughter skate with ease on the polished wood floors while Ben wobbled along next to her, looking more like a baby taking its first steps than a grown man.

“It feels like just yesterday I was changing her diapers, now she’s in eighth grade.” Frankie sighed, released the vice like grip he had on the neck of his bottle. “Fuck man, I’m not ready for her to go to high school, I don’t know what I’ll do with myself.”

“You’ll do what you’ve always done for her, ‘Fish.” Frankie looked up to see Will standing at his side, setting a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You’ll be there for her. Which is more than I can say about half of the dead beat dads out there now.”

“Dad!” She called out, her pigtails swaying as she turned to him, hands held out with a big grin. “Come on!”

Frankie ignored the pop of his knees as he stood up with a groan.

“I’ll pray for your back hermano!” Santi called out with a barking laugh as his friend slowly stepped onto the rink with shaking legs

Frankie couldn’t give his little girl the world no matter how much he wanted to, he was just one man. But damn if he wouldn’t skate with her at her birthday party.

Helena took his hand in hers as they skated, which he knew was more for his safety than hers. But he still felt his heart clench at seeing just how small his daughter’s hand was compared to his.

“How are you so bad at this!” She giggled upon seeing his knees buckle for the third time in two minutes. While Helena had taken to roller skates with ease, the same could not be said for her father, who clutched onto her hand like a lifeline.

“Mija, the last time I was on wheels like this was before I broke my ankle skateboarding.” A woman skated by them, the wheels on her skated lighting up a bright pink each time they made contact with the floor. You turned, skating backwards for a moment with a carefree smile before turning forward again.

Frankie’s knees buckled when Helena’s hip bumped against his.

“God-” His daughter snorted. “Maybe if you stopped staring at that lady and focused more on skating you wouldn’t be wobbling like an old man on a walker!”

His head snapped to his daughter like a whip, for a moment uncaring how he nearly lost his balance. “I am not-I wasn’t-did you just call me an old man?”

His daughter simply stared up at him with that smug little grin that he swore Santi taught her.

“She’s pretty.” His daughter noted, he spared another glance up, feet sliding across the floor as he did.

You skated around another couple, hips swaying to the song playing over the speaker and hands raised high over your head. You brought one foot in front of the other in a sashay along the rink, gliding over the floor with grace that Frankie couldn’t even try to get as he gripped his daughter’s hand for dear life while they skated along the inner rim of the rink.

His daughter tugged at his hand, which had gotten arguably more sweaty when he realized that you would be passing them once more. “You should say hi.”

Frankie shook his head and offered his daughter a smile. “It’s your birthday ‘lena.” He reminded her. “You should be having fun with your friends instead of worrying about your old man’s dating life.”

Helena tilted her head in thought before smiling and letting go of her father’s hand. “Okay!”

“Wait-wait!” Frankie shot his hands out to balance himself, without the help of his daughter he felt even more off-kilter and out of his element. “Where are you going!?”

His daughter laughed before joining her friends that had skated ahead of them. “You told me to have fun with my friends! So I’m going to!” She looked behind him and smiled so wide he felt his heart drop. “Have fun dad! You got this!”

“Helena Maria Morales if you don’t-” Frankie’s threat was cut off when his legs wobbled against, one foot shooting out to steady him, except he was on fucking roller skates, which only caused his foot to slide out from beneath him and send him tumbling onto the hard floor beneath him.

Had it not been for his skating savior that is.

You shot forward, one hand gripping the collar of his shirt meanwhile the other grabbed the waistband of his trousers to steady him. On instinct his hands gripped your hips like you were a life preserver and he was a man lost at sea.

“You alright there buddy?” Frankie simply stared at you, throat tight and mouth wide open as his bright wracked for a single thought, a single word to say to you.

“Jesus Christ.” Santi groaned from the other side of the rink. He and the other boys sat watching in equal parts awe and dismay at their friend being caught like damsel and then absolutely flounder in front of you. “Say something you idiot!”

“Oh this is painful.” Ben snorted. “I don’t want to look away!”

“I’m uh, yeah I’m good.” Frankie realized as you pulled him upright how fucking strong you were, and it made his knees knock together for a whole different reason. His hands tensed and he realized he was still holding onto your hips. “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine, really.” You held up a hand to silence him, his mouth snapped shut as if it were a trained command. “I know you aren’t some creep trying to cop a feel, I’ve been watching you skate for a while now.”

Frankie looked down at the floor. “Yeah well, the last time I was on wheels was when I was sixteen and tried to impress a girl at the mall by grinding on a rail with my skateboard.”

You slowly took his hand in yours and began to skate forward, slow smooth steps that he did his best to mimic. He was so focused on not falling he hadn’t realized that the pair of you were skating like a couple. “Did it work?”

“Fuck no!” He laughed. “I broke my ankle, lost a tooth, then she and her friends all laughed at me.”

You smiled at his story, noting the way the multi-colored lights bounced off his profile. “Well, I’ll do my best to make sure you don’t break an ankle or lose any teeth tonight, alright Bambi?”

Frankie’s feet wobbled again and tightened his grip on your hands, marveled for a moment at how soft they felt against his. “Bambi?”

“Yeah.” You offered him a slight shrug, he still wasn’t sure how you could skate around others with such ease while also maintaining a conversation, but was thankful for it either way. “You both have brown hair, both have shit balance-”

“Gee thanks.”

You giggled and flicked the tip of his cap. “Let me finish.” You scolded. “You both have shit balance, and you're both pretty fuckin’ cute.”

Frankie felt his heart race and his lips curl into a shy smile. He watched the colors that danced over your form like a kaleidoscope. “Well my actual name is Frankie-” The tip of his skate dipped forward, catching on the floor and sending him careening right into your arms. You kept your feet together at an angle to keep from falling, hands grabbing onto him as he barreled forward, arms thrown around you and nose pressed against yours. “-but I guess Bambi is pretty fitting too.”

“Well Bambi-” Frankie felt a tingle down his spine every time you called him that. A nickname so sweet and innocent had no business making him feel so hot under the collar. “How about we take a break from trying to keep you from falling flat on your ass and go sit down for a bit? If your daughter doesn’t mind that is.”

He looked over your shoulder, where Helena stood with two of her friends, smiling wide and flashing her dad two thumbs up.

“I don’t think she'll mind.”

```

“A pilot?” You whistled, leaning back in his chair. “Damn, you’ve got me beat. I’m just a high school English teacher!”

Frankie shook his head, toe tapping on the linoleum floor of the little snack corner of the rink that pair of you were sitting at. “Now I wouldn’t say all that. I mean, spending your entire day dealing with teenagers who definitely don’t want to be there? You must have the patience of a saint.”

You bumped your knee against his. “We’ll now you’re just trying to flatter me.”

Frankie held one hand up and the other over his heart, as if he were taking an oath. “All truth here, coming from a former AP English kid.” You gasped and held one hand over your chest and pretended to swoon.

“An honor student of my subject? Be still my beating heart!” Frankie snorted into his drink, which caused you to in turn laugh loud enough for the people in front of them to turn and glare.

He had always hated dating. It felt so forced, so uncomfortable. The icebreakers were only met with bland replies of women who clearly weren’t interested in him, and only became less interested when they learned he was a father. That or they would praise him for being so “brave” to raise his daughter on his own. What, as if he was supposed to walk out on her just like her mother did? It turned him off to the whole situation.

But this? Sitting in the tiny snack corner at a roller rink, sipping overpriced sodas and laughing loud enough to annoy people while staring at the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen? Oh it was better than any date at a four star restaurant he’s been on.

“Trust me.” He told you. “You would’ve hated me as a student.”

“I could never!”

“Oh yes you could!” He laughed. “I fell asleep in class all the time, never answered questions and uh honestly?” He pulled his hat low over his face with a shy smile. “If I had you as a teacher? I’d never get anything done.”

His eyes flicked to the sleeve of your shirt, seeing your biceps strain against it as you leaned over for your drink. The shorts you wore hugged the thick muscle of your legs and he felt his throat tighten up at the thought.

You smiled and pushed his cap up so you could see his brown doe eyes. “I’m gonna take that as a compliment, Bambi.”

Santi watched the pair of you, nearly nose to nose when you leaned in close to toy with his hat. He smiled and bumped Will’s shoulder. “Look at ‘em go. ‘Fish still has it.”

“That’s our boy.”

They had all gotten the call when Liana left, she had simply packed her bags in the middle of the night and vanished. Leaving Francisco and their six month old baby alone. They knew how much it hurt him to see her leave, how much he blamed himself and wracked his brain for how to fix it, how many times he called her and pleaded for her to come home. If not for him, for their daughter. Their little baby girl who wouldn’t stop crying because she was hungry and mommy was gone.

But to see him now, blushing like a school boy while talking with a woman who his daughter practically pushed him into, they all felt a swell of pride.

If any of them deserved a happy ending, it was Catfish.

“If he doesn’t ask her out-” Ben sighed. “I’ll kill him. Just fucking murder him.”

Sadly, just as Frankie was about to ask that dreaded question, if he could get your number or hell, if you’d like to get a drink sometime, a woman with bright pink hair poked her head over your table.

“Hey panty!” She called out and Frankie damn near got whiplash at that nickname. “Can you give me a ride home? My car is busted and my boyfriend can’t pick me up.”

Your shoulders deflated at her response and Frankie couldn’t help but feel a little prideful that you felt dejected to leave his side. “Yeah no problem Jammie.”

“Thanks!” The girl chirped. “I’ll meet you outside!”

When she left, Frankie turned to you with a slow smile, his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “Panty?”

“Ughh I know!” You groaned into your hands. “It’s not some weird nickname or anything it’s just my derby name I swear!”

Frank leaned back, eyes wide in admiration. “You play roller derby?”

You grinned, shoulders back and confidence oozing off of you at the mention of your sport. You tucked your hands behind your head and Frankie took that moment to marvel at the muscle that strained against your shirt. “Damn right I do. Not to brag but I’ve been the MVP for the last three seasons.”

It was absolutely a brag and he loved it.

“You know-” Your eyes flicked to his, shy and skittish. “-we have a bout, a game, this Saturday if you want to come. It’ll be here, at eight. You don’t have to-”

“I’ll be there.” He promised. The thought of you in those spandex shorts on skates, being positively brutal to other women on the track with that confident grin? Christ, he wouldn’t miss it for the world. “I’ve never watched roller derby before but, it’s recently piqued my interest.”

You smiled, raising your foot to knock it against his. “Well I hope it keeps you interested Frankie, because you’ve piqued mine too.”

Frankie felt a swell of pride in his chest at your shy smile and sweet words. He felt like a kid back in high school, trying his best to woo the girl in his biology class with passing notes in hopes of getting a date.

Only this time he had more experience and a lot less acne.

“Panty!” The woman shouted. “Lets gooo! I work the morning shift tomorrow!”

Your face fell. “Looks like that’s my que to head out. I’ll see you Friday though?”

“Fuck yes.” Frankie breathed out, before regaining his composure. “I mean uh yeah, yeah I’ll uh, see if I can make it.” You laughed and stood up from the table, turning on your heel at the final moment to press a quick kiss to his cheek.

“I’ll see you then, Bambi.” You purred, before walking out of the door and past His daughter and three grown ass men, who stood in a circle nearby like a bunch of gossiping old women.

Frankie didn’t even have a moment to realize you kissed him before his daughter bounded over to him asking eighty questions within two seconds.

“What's her name? Is she cool? She seems cool! Are you guys dating now? Did you ask her out? Did you get her number?”

He brought this daughter in for a hug, bringing his hand down on the crown of her head in a playful nuzzle.

“Alright speedy gonzales.” She laughed into his side and tried to wriggle out of his bear hug. “No more matchmaking, you hear me?”

“But it worked! Didn’t it?” His stern facade melted away at the excited grin on Helena’s face.He sighed, letting his chin fall onto the top of her head.

“We’ll just have to wait and see mija.”

His daughter whooped in victory, throwing her hands high in the air in celebration.

“That means it worked!”

#Panty & Bambi #frankie morales #catfish morales #francisco morales #francisco morales x reader #catfish x reader #frankie morales x reader #triple frontier #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #the meaning of her derby name will make more sense in the next chapter i SWEAR

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jpegjade · 5 years ago

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Mr. Loverman - Spencer

I’m back with a short fic! It’s more like a part 1 because I have some work stuff to do and i’m tired but I wanted to do something bc I didn’t put anything out yesterday. So here’s the first part of the fic. I’ll work on part 2 tomorrow

____________________

“I will still love you. I will love you till my heart stops beating and every day after that.” Spencer said, looking at you with such fierce eye contact that you almost gave in.

But this was for the best. You were tired of living like this, the constant fear and sleepless nights were affecting your life to the point of feeling like it was never going to end. Your anxiety was over the top and you couldn’t handle it anymore. You made the decision to break up with Spencer, calling off the wedding. You were glad that you hadn’t gotten too far into the wedding because it would have been harder to make a clean break. The only people that would know is Spencer’s team. It broke your heart that you wouldn’t see them again but you needed to do this for your own health and safety.

“Goodbye, Spencer.” You barely said, turning to walk out the door of his apartment.

You closed the door behind you, trying not to look back. You couldn’t handle the broken look on his face. You would cave instantly. You had to be strong.

That was 2 years ago. Today, it was different. You lived a different life than the one you did before. It took a little while but you eventually returned to a level of normalcy. You still looked over your shoulder, made sure you had the alarm on at all moments, and never went the same direction twice in a row. Some things you learned from living with Spencer turned out to be things that you would never forget. The paranoia was ingrained in you, obviously, but over the past 2 years, you were able to let your hair down a little bit at a time.

You were going home from work, once again checking the mail from the first floor of your apartment complex. There was something different about the lobby. For once, it was empty. It was always filled with people milling around. You guessed that it was just a slower part of the day but you didn’t think it would be this quiet, so quiet that the guards weren’t even there.

There was a package on the counter with your name on it. You assumed that it was one of your amazon packages since you ordered so much from Amazon these days. The only reason you left was for work once a week since everyone switched to working at home. You grabbed the box and kept going to the elevator. Only one was working, which was odd because when you left that morning, both were working. You stepped inside, followed by the really cute boy who lived on your floor. You smiled at each other before he held the door open for you as you arrived on his floor. “Have a good day.” You said, putting the box on the ground to unlock your front door. He nodded in your direction and kept walking to his apartment.

Putting the box on the table and getting situated, you opened it while trying to figure out what you ordered that would be so heavy. Maybe it wasn’t Amazon afterall. Getting the last bit of tape pulled off, there was a yellow folder on top with a post-it note that said, “Read Me.” This definitely wasn’t Amazon. You immediately dropped the folder and grabbed your phone, calling the only person you knew would handle this.

2 years later and Spencer continued to mourn. The days went by so slowly and you were always on his mind. After you walked out the door, it took him a month to recover enough to return to the office again. He kept your engagement photos framed on his desk, reminding himself what he was fighting for. He knew you weren’t coming back to him but he fought everyday to protect you. In his mind, every unsub was one less person that could hurt you. He fought tooth and nail and worked twice as hard as anyone else in every case. He wasn’t going to stop any time soon, either.

Spencer walked out of the elevator, tightly gripping his satchel. It was the anniversary of when he proposed to you and he couldn’t wait to distract himself. Pushing through the glass doors, Spencer looked at his desk only to find someone sitting in his chair, holding one of the framed photos that he treasured so dearly. He was about to say something when JJ intercepted.

“Spence, we need to talk about something.” She said, attempting to pull Spencer away. He was adamant that he was going to walk in a straight line and give that person a piece of his mind when you looked up. Spencer stopped moving immediately. He rubbed his eyes, unsure if he was just imagining it because of the day but you were still there when he looked up.

“Hey, Spence.” You said.

Your voice sounded just like the voicemails. He didn’t know if you remembered but you were wearing the cardigan he bought for you 3 years ago. Your hair was different from the last time he saw you. You looked sleep deprived and tired and you were here, in front of him. For the first time in 2 years, you were sitting in front of him.

“Hi, y/n.” He whispered.

JJ pulled his arm, leading him to another part of the room. She positioned him so his back was to you because all he wanted to do was stare at the love of his life.

“Spence, I’m gonna need you to stay focused in a second. And you can’t freak out.” She said. Spencer wanted so badly to turn around and see what you were doing.

“Is she really here? I’m not seeing things?” He said. He could hardly believe you were there. You were still wearing your ring. That meant something, right? Was there still hope for him?

“Spencer. Focus. She’s being hunted.” JJ said firmly. This was serious and Spencer couldn’t let his emotions get the better of him. But he did.

“What?” He said, immediately spinning around to look at you. You were cooling off a cup of coffee and smiling at Garcia.

“How did she get here? Who’s hunting her? What are we doing just standing here when we could be out there hunting whoever is hunting her? I’m not having another Maeve. We have to be proactive.” He said, panicking. He couldn’t lose you again. He already lost you once.

“We do have things in place to find the hunter. But I needed to tell you that you’re not working the case. Prentiss decided that it would be too close to you and your judgement would be severely crowded.” JJ said, treading softly.

“No. No, I have to help. I have to help catch this guy.” Spencer said, closing his hands into fists. He was pissed.

“Spencer, the biggest help you can be right now is being with y/n. She’s really shaken up and she needs the one person who knows her best.” JJ said, looking up at Spencer.

Spencer was quiet, a lag in his comprehension of his job this time. He was supposed to protect you while spending time with you. This was going to go either terribly wrong or incredibly right.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader #spencer reid imagine

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rohad93 · 4 years ago

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Werewolf in the hospital

As far as Halloween’s go, this one could have been better for her. It wasn’t often she ended an evening sitting in the ER, dressed as a werewolf, with a broken nose, but she couldn’t say now that it didn’t ever not happen!

The night had started fun enough. She’d been out with Gus and Willow at a party being thrown at one of their college’s many fraternity houses. One that was affectionately referred to as the ‘Illusion coven’ around campus because of its many resident students that were known for their penchant for pranks and being able to disappear without a trace when the heat was turned up in response, as well as a large handful of their students that were also members of the school’s ‘magic appreciation club’.

They of course, always threw the best parties, especially at Halloween.

This one had been no different. The music and lights could be seen from about two blocks away. There was a long line of students waiting to get in the front door, but luckily for her and Willow, Gus was a member, which got them through the door instantly.

The place was jammed packed when they finally arrived and Luz could barely hear herself think over the music that was trying to vibrate her teeth right out of her skull, but that didn’t stop her from making a beeline straight for the dancefloor with her friends in tow for the first hour. Excessive amounts of energy made dancing the perfect activity for her, even if she generally lacked any grace or coordination.

It was weird to finally be at one of these raging school parties after all the ones she had been purposely excluded from in high school.

After four years of being an outcast in high school and spending most Saturday night’s alone, watching anime or writing fanfiction to fill her spare time, she hadn’t expected her social life to really take off in college, though ‘take-off’ might have been a strong word for it. She still only had a handful of friends, but it was still a far cry from how she’d been a loner in high school.

Leaving to go to college out of state had given her an opportunity to start new, though she was still the same old Luz she had been her senior year, there were so many more people at her college with varying interests and backgrounds than her small-town high school where everyone had known each other since grade school and pretty much stuck together from the first grade on.

You release one nest of spiders at nap time and suddenly you’re branded for life as ‘that weird kid’. She didn’t like to admit how much that had really bothered her when she was a kid, but it just became the norm as she got older. It didn’t stop her enjoying life as much as she could, even if she had gotten thrown out of prom her senior year for wearing an otter onesie.

It was still nice to actually have friends now, one’s she could study with in the library or just have lunch with and not blink an eye when she said something totally bizarre, or at least bizarre by most people’s standards.

Meeting Willow, her dorm mate, and then Gus through her, had been a lifesaver and through them, she had met other student’s, some of which she shared classes with, like Viney, who despite being an upperclassman was only now taking her English comp basics so they worked together on group assignments, she was funny and easy to get along with. It didn’t take long for Luz to count her, along with Gus and Willow as her closest friends.

Viney was also dating Emira Blight, one of the infamous Blight twins, who were also members of the ‘Illusion Coven’, so she knew Viney was probably somewhere here among the many bodies packed into the large house, though the chances of running into her were slim.

She wasn’t at all surprised to see the copious amounts of alcohol that was everywhere either, that was one thing about college that TV had gotten right. College students drank; a lot.”

She watched three students doing a keg stand till beer squirted out of the guy on the kegs’ nose.

She snorted, grinning to herself and showing off the mouthful of sharp canines she had spent a good hour in the bathroom getting molded to fit too her teeth. She was, of course, the definition of a broke college student, attending entirely on a full scholarship, cause when you don’t have anyone to hang out with, you might as well study, and it was finally paying off, but she still had little in the way of personal spending money given her measly paycheck from working part-time at ‘The Owl House’ An owl themed diner just off campus owned by the most eccentric woman Luz had ever met, did not make for the most extravagant costume. But she made do with an old red flannel, ripped jeans, and some dollar store pointed ears and face paint. She had splurged a little on the fake teeth, she’d reuse them next year, werewolf was a classic after all.

Despite her less than ideal paycheck, Edalyn Clawthorne, or Eda ‘The Owl Lady’ as she was known around town, was good to her, letting her eat and drink for free or study there when she wasn’t working, and honestly, Luz kind of wanted to be Eda when she grew up. She was self-assured and didn’t care what anyone thought about her, not to mention surprisingly foxy for her age.

“You guys want something to drink?” Gus yelled at her and Willow to be heard over the pounding music and voices.

“Is there anything without an octane rating?” Willow questioned, as she watched an upperclassman drinking something straight out of the bottle at maximum speed.

After all, she and Willow were only nineteen, and Gus seventeen, he was crazy smart and had skipped a couple of grades. Luz had never had much interest in drinking, despite Eda sometimes offering her a drink from her flask with the Owl etched into the side.

She didn’t even know what was in it, only that Eda referred to it as “Mama’s magic Elixir’. She always said no and Eda would shrug and tip it back till it was empty.

“There’s punch, but I’d still be careful. Chances are good it’s already been spiked.” He shrugged.

“No thanks,” Willow shook her head and turned to look at something, the glitter on the wings of her fairy costume catching the bright colored lights overhead. She still hadn’t figured out what Gus was supposed to be. He was wearing a long red tube with a smiley face on it and long sleeves that went down to the ground that he flung about in excitement.

“I might take my chances on those snacks!” Luz shouted, eyeing the array of treats laid out on the table for the taking. She was willing to bet no one had spiked the cake and it looked really good from here. Gus grinned and Willow rolled her eyes, smiling. Anyone who knew Luz for any amount of time knew she had a voracious appetite and an even bigger sweet tooth.

“Yeah, okay, just don’t eat everything.” Gus laughed at her.

“No promises!” She grinned back before moving across the room, trying to slide between the bodies that packed every square inch of the place and get to the refreshment table. People were moving in every direction around her as the music blared and the lights flashed, it was a little disorienting actually, but she had her eyes on the prize.

She had just made it to the table when the crowd surged and sent her careening into someone else standing there, slamming into their back and making them spill their drink.

“Watch it, nitwit! A voice growled at her before stopping. “Oh, hi, Luz.”

Luz blinked, realizing who exactly she had just slammed into, and swallowed thickly.

Amity Blight, who she did not exactly start off on the best foot with when classes had started a few months ago but now had a much more friendly relationship with.

Amity Blight, the smart and talented girl she shared creative writing and literature appreciation with. Amity Blight, who Luz had a teeny, tiny, minuscule... huge, crush on.

Amity Blight, who was dressed prettily as a witch, complete with black and green striped leggings and a pointed black hat and, who she had just slammed into and spilled her drink on.

“Ah, I’m sorry, Amity!” Luz grimaced at the wet spot now in the middle of Amity’s black blouse.

“Oh, it’s okay, really, no big deal!” Amity waved a hand, snatching a napkin off the table and dabbing at the spot.

“You sure? I could go...get you something or…,” she started, unsure.

“NO, no it’s fine, really…,” she insisted and Luz frowned. She must have embarrassed the other girl, her face was tinged red as she wiped at the spot, and was trying not to look Luz in the eyes.

‘Mierda’ Luz cursed under her breath.

Clearly, Amity did not want to talk about the spill anymore, so Luz cleared her throat, drawing the young woman’s gaze.

“What are you doing here? You don’t strike me as the… party type,” she asked and Amity rolled her eyes and Luz’s chest seized up, wondering if she’d insulted her until Amity spoke again.

“I’m not, but my brother and sister are members here and all but forced me to come tonight,” she huffed. “I’d much rather be back in my dorm, studying for our quiz in lit appreciation Monday and not getting a headache from this music.” she frowned and Luz blinked.

“Oh, Mierda! I forgot about the quiz!” Luz slapped her hands to her cheeks and Amity blinked at her before laughing.

“It was written on the board yesterday and the professor sent out an email reminder this morning.”

“Ugh, I didn’t check my email today,” she groaned, squishing her cheeks.

“Well, you still have tomorrow to study,” Amity offered.

“There was so much material to cover though…” Luz groaned. “I’m not gonna sleep all weekend, I’m going to have to cram till I push out every memory of the third grade just to make room for it all.” She frowned, already thinking about all the coffee she was going to have to drink before Monday morning, and on Monday morning.

Amity was biting her lip, thinking, but decided to take the chance.

“You can come study with me. Only if you want that is!” she quickly finished, pushing a stray strand of dyed, half mint, green, half auburn hair behind one of her ears.

“Really?” Luz asked.

“Yeah, I was just about to get out of here anyway, I’ve had enough of the party…” she said, looking around at all the people crowded into the room.

“Yeah, I’d love to!” Luz jumps on the opportunity, cause why wouldn’t she. “Oh, I came with Gus and Willow…” she remembers her friends somewhere in the house.

“Oh…” Amity seems to deflate a little at that. “Maybe another time?”

“No, it’s all good! I’m just gonna go tell them I’m headed out. You, uh, wanna meet outside?” she asks and Amity is smiling at her again and Luz just wants to melt into a puddle on the floor as those amber eyes stare back at her

“Yeah, I’ll wait for you.”

“Great! I’ll be quick,” she promises as she runs back out into the crowd, looking for her friends. It takes her about ten minutes to find them in the living room.

“Hye guys, is it cool with you if I head out?”

“Where are you going?” Willow questions her.

“I ran into Amity, who reminded me we have a quiz in lit appreciation Monday and I really need to study and she offered to study with me, so…” she trails off, seeing the look Willow is giving her. The horticulture student is very aware of Luz’s crush, despite her never really saying anything about it. She does not count gushing to the shorter girl about how smart and pretty Amity is as ‘saying anything about it’.

“Why would you wanna leave a party to study?” Gus makes a face and Willow smirks.

“I think it’s more about who she’s studying with…” she says knowingly and Luz blushes as Gus blinks at her, confused.

“It’s cool, Luz. Go study with Amity.”

Luz does not care for the knowing way Willow says the other woman’s names, with a teasing lilt, but she’s not concerning herself with that for now.

“Thanks, guys, I’ll see you later,” She calls, already running toward the front door.

She doesn’t immediately see Amity, in fact, the yard in front of the house is empty, everyone inside.

Luz frowns, looking around. Did she get tired of waiting?

Her chest aches a little at the thought, shoulders slumping, and is just about to turn around and go back in the house when she hears something that does not match the thumping bass of the music inside, voices. She walks quietly around to the side of the house and peeks around the wall curiously, if college has taught her anything it’s that there are students making out anywhere at any given time and not to look too closely into dark corners where sounds are coming from.

Her eyes widen as she spots Amity right away, her back is pressed against the wall and a guy dressed in a toga is standing in front of her, leaning down over her. He’s not particularly big, but he’s standing uncomfortably close with his hands wrapped around both of her wrists, hands fisted, Amity is scowling angrily up at him. Luz’s brows furrow between her eyes and she frowns, walking over quickly.

“I said let go!” Amity snaps, trying to rip her hands free from his grip and he’s so close she can smell the alcohol on his breath.

“Come on, just a little kiss, it’s Halloween…” He leans forward and Amity turns her head away, sneering.

“I don’t care if it’s fucking Christmas!” she snarled. “I said no!”

“Hey!” Luz shouts standing just a few feet away now. “She said no!” she growled, lips pulled back over her fangs.

“Luz!” Amity stares at her wide-eyed.

“This is none of your business bitch, go howl at the moon,” he slurred before turning back to Amity and yanking on one of her hands. She yelps in pain as he jerks her and Luz is moving forward before she even knows it and her fist is connecting with the side of his face.

He goes fumbling backward, releasing Amity as he stumbles to his butt in the grass.

“Santa mierda, eso duele!” she hissed, shaking out her screaming hand.

“Come on!” Amity grabs her other hand and starts to pull her away but then the guy is scrambling to his feet and coming at her with a strangled yell and Luz does the first thing she can think of, she uses their joined hands to yank Amity behind her and then the guy’s fist connects with her face and her world an explosion of pain and crunching noises.

She’s only vaguely aware of Amity screaming her name as her back hits the grass and everything goes black for a second but then she’s quickly pulled back to consciousness by his hand fisted into the front of her shirt and her fight or flight instincts kick in and she’s swinging wildly at his ugly mug as quickly as she can.

Her hands protest every hit that connects with his stone-hard face but she doesn’t stop and he’s swinging back, but she can hardly feel it over the constant pain radiating from her nose through her whole body.

She just clenches her eyes shut and keeps swinging, punching him as hard as she can, but then there are more voices and two large burly guys have him in a stranglehold, pulling him off her.

Amity had dashed back inside to grab the houses ‘bouncers’ standing just inside the door.

“Oh my god, Luz!” Amity holds her hands over her mouth as she kneels onto the ground next to her, looking over her face in horror.

“Ugh…” is all she can manage and then Amity is grabbing her hand and helping to her feet and dragging her across the yard, fumbling, panicked through her purse before finally pulling out her keys. She unlocks the passenger side door of a small black sedan and carefully pushes Luz into the passenger seat.

“Keep your head tilted back,” she says before closing the door and hurrying around to the other side, and jumping in the driver’s seat.

It’s only now that Luz realizes she can taste blood and reaches up to touch her top lip and pulls her hand back to see her fingers covered in the crimson liquid.

‘Well, that’s not good,’ she thinks, but it definitely explains why her face hurts so bad.

She tilts her head back but can feel it dribbling down her chin and neck as Amity pulls away from the curb, much faster than the speed limit, Luz is sure as the tires squeal.

She runs her tongue across her teeth and feels a distinct lack of a point and groans, making Amity glance at her.

“I think I swallowed one of my teeth…,” she mumbles more to herself but Amity’s pained expression turns into a grimace as they speed down the road.

Which was how she found herself sitting next to her crush in the ER with her head tilted back and the front of her once white shirt stained crimson as her nose continues to bleed.

Halloween is apparently a very popular time for injury because it’s crowded and takes two hours for someone to see her, while they wait Amity fills out her paperwork for her.

“Birthday?” she asks glumly, and Luz tells her. She hasn’t said much since they left the party, she looks miserable, and that’s coming from someone who is doing their best impression of a fountain with her nose. She can’t stand that face Amity is making. “Allergies?”

“Lactose intolerant, so no milk IV’s,” she jokes, despite the incredible pain in her face. Amity starts to write but then stops, blinking, before turning to look at her grin.

“How can you joke? You just got beat up… because of me.” she frowns.

“No, I got my block busted because some guy was being a pendejo.” Luz frowns. “It wasn’t your fault, and I wasn’t just going to stand there and let him….do whatever he wanted!” she scowled, throwing up a hand.

Amity is looking at her with an unreadable expression, but before she can say anything they are calling her back.

“Oh goody, my turn.”

It takes forty-five minutes for them to tell her that her nose is broken, which she could have told them when she caught sight of herself in a mirror, a bloody mess and her nose pushed to the side at an odd angle. No wonder Amity had been so panicked and run all those red lights.

Putting it back in place is… not fun, and then the doctor stuffs gauze in her nose and splints the outside, telling her she needs to keep the gauze in for a week and then sends her on her way with a prescription for antibiotics and some mild painkillers.

Amity is waiting for her when she comes out.

“What did he say?” she stands as Luz walks back out into the waiting room and frowns at the splint on her face.

“It’s broke.” she shrugs and Amity grimaces as they walk out back to the parking lot.

“I am so sorry, Luz.” Amity frowned. “If I’d just…”

“Hey,” Luz cut her off, she wasn’t having any of that. “I told you, it’s not your fault, technically, I started that fight… didn’t win it, but I started it,” she laughed to herself.

“You are surprisingly chipper for someone who just got their nose broken…” Amity can’t help but smile a little at the other woman’s cheery disposition.

“It’s not the first time I’ve broken something you know. The first time someone helped me along, but hey! Besides, I helped you, and that’s good enough for me.” She smiled as they stopped next to Amity’s car. Amity has a small smile on her face as she unlocks the car. “I hope this is healed up by thanksgiving or my mom is going to have a cow…,” she mumbled as an afterthought. Amity giggled to herself.

“Come on, I’ll take you home.”

The drive is mostly quiet until they pull up into the parking lot in front of Luz’s dorm building. Willow is probably already back in their room.

“Do you think this will get me out of the quiz Monday?” Luz wonders aloud as she unbuckles and Amity laughs.

“Doubtful... but…, if you’re up for it, I feel like I should at least treat you to breakfast or something for what you did… we could study after?” she offers.

Luz blinks at her, finally realizing what exactly is going on. She was certain before when Amity had asked her to study that she was just being nice, but the way she looks now, fingers tapping anxiously on the steering wheel and glancing at Luz out of the corner of her eye, she finally catches on and curses how oblivious she is at times.

“Like… a date?” she asks uncertainly and Amity flinches.

‘Y-Yeah.” she jerks her head in a nod and Luz is silent for a few seconds too long it seems. “If you don’t want to…!”

“No! No I do, want to go on a date with you, yes!” Luz nods, too fast, it makes her nose throb.

“Really?” now Amity is turned to look at her, eyes wide, with a hopeful glint.

“Yes, absolutely.” Does she sound too eager? Probably, but she does not care, especially when Amity’s face lights up with that adorable little smile she’s seen on her face once or twice before in class when they talked and now she feels even dumber for not catching on quicker.

They plan for Amity to pick her up here at nine tomorrow morning and then Luz opens the door, but Amity stops her.

“Thank you, Luz… I don’t know what might have happened if you hadn’t shown up...” Amity says finally.

“Amity Blight, I will be your fearless champion anytime you need me too!” she declares, a fist on her chest. The bandages and bloodstains, as well as her nasally stuffed up voice, diminishes the gesture some, but Amity smiles adoringly at her none the less.

She hesitates a second before reaching across the console to lay a hand gently on Luz’s cheek before leaning forward to quickly kiss the other. Luz’s face erupts in red as her heart hammers in her chest.

“My fearless champion,” she agrees, cheeks a bright pink.

Luz’s face erupts in a grin.

Maybe the evening started poorly, but she can’t find it in herself to mind one bit.

#Halloween #Lumity #Luz Noceda #Amity Blight #Willow park #Gus Porter #fic #toh #the owl house #gay

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zevlors-tail · 5 years ago

Text

Lonely With You

Pairing: ProHero!Izuku x GN ProHero!Reader

Warnings: Self doubt, self deprecating thoughts/words, cursing, reader is very angry in the beginning and throws something if that’s a trigger for anyone (doesn’t throw it directly at anything or anything in particular), lots of crying on reader’s part, song fic, tooth rotting fluff at the end. <3

A/N: Song fic! Sports by Beach Bunny. I said I couldn’t write shit but here we are. I just one shotted this thing in the span of like 3 hours and in 3 more hours, I have to go into work with no sleep. :’) But really it’s fine bc I had motivation and I DID THE THING. I wrote something I kind of liked! I am obsessed with this song right now, so suffer with me I guess.

The second you stormed into the house and slammed the door shut behind you, Izuku could tell something was off. Sure, you had your bad days, but somehow this was different.

“Hi, love! How was your da-” Before he could even finish, you cut him off with an angry look and a short response.

“Fucking awful. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Izuku knew better than to take your short response personally, though he would be lying if he said it didn’t irk him in the slightest. However, you didn’t curse often, and using the “F” word usually meant you were at your wits end with whatever situation you were dealing with. He watched you as you strode past the kitchen with blind rage and threw down your headpiece to your hero costume. A piece of it actually busted off from how hard you had chucked it across the room, nearly missing his eye as it flew past him and making him visibly flinch.

Upon seeing his reaction, you immediately stopped in your tracks and snapped out of your fit of anger, concern for your partner taking over you instead. “Shit-! Izu, I’m so sorry, are you alright!?” Tears welled in your eyes as you panicked and checked his face over for any collateral damage, and when you could find none, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“I’m fine, Y/N. Are...you okay? I know you said you didn’t want to talk about it, but you look really...upset.” He struggled to find the right words for a moment. You looked upset, sure, but it was more than that. There was a foreign look in your eyes he hadn’t seen before, something heavy and dark lurking behind your usually bright orbs. His heart couldn’t help but ache for the look you gave him.

If you feel lonely, I could be lonely with you. Tell me baby, why do you seem so blue?

You broke down in tears within seconds, cries of frustration and anguish clawing their way up from your ribcage to your throat. Today had drained you for all your worth and made you feel utterly exhausted. But if you were being honest, this had been going on much longer than just a day. It just so happened that today’s events had been the last straw for you and left you feeling defeated. Months of self doubt and anxieties were finally catching up to you, and now you were paying the price.

Izuku wrapped his arms around you tightly and held your head to his chest as you hiccuped. “Shhh, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” He nuzzled his face into your hair before pressing a sweet kiss to your crown, his hand sliding to your back to rub comforting circles.

“I’m no good,” you managed between sobs. “I’m a terrible hero, and I should just quit while I’m ahead. I’ll never amount to anything useful. All I do is get in the way and cause problems for others!” You continued to cry while Izuku let you vent, although it took everything he had in him not to interject that all of those things couldn’t be further from the truth.

Why are we so complicated? Maybe love is overrated...

“I’m a failure. I failed my mission and if it wasn’t for Uravity...” You let out a strangled cry as you admitted what was weighing you down so heavily. “They almost died! They almost died, and it would have been all my fault! If I had just pushed myself harder, if I had done more, then- then- then none of this would have happened!”

“Oh, love...no.”

“I should just do everyone a favor and stop being a Pro. My manager did always say I was better as a sidekick, anyway,” you laughed bitterly at the memory, distracted only for a moment before returning to crying, albeit a little quieter. “I’m ready to give up. Everything I do is wrong... I don’t think I’m cut out for this anymore.”

I’m tired of waiting! I was never good at sports; save the games for the girls on the tennis courts.

Izuku sighed softly before cupping your face in his hands and gazing intently at you. “Y/N Y/L/N, you are not a failure. You are the light of my life and the best thing to have ever happened to me. Do you know that?”

You hesitated a minute while you sniffled and rubbed at your eyes. “Are you sure about that? Because I feel like I’m failing at everything... At being a hero, at being a friend, and at being your partner. I’ve been so stressed out lately that I’ve barely been able to pay attention to you. I’m so sorry, Izuku...” Fresh tears pooled at the corners of your eyes as your self doubt ate at you.

Say you need me, but lately you feel unsure.

“You didn’t let me finish.”

“Ah, I’m sorry-”

“Nope! No more apologizing, especially when you didn’t do anything wrong.” A small smile found it’s way to his lips as he spoke, “I’ve watched you grow from a student in the hero course with me into the wonderful person and amazing hero you are now, and I want you to know I’m proud of who you’ve become. You’ve been nothing but nice to Uraraka, Iida, and Todoroki, and you’ve done everything you can to support me and be there for me when I need you to be. You cheered me on and pushed me to do better when I felt like giving in so many times. Without you, I wouldn’t be the hero I am today.”

“That’s really flattering, but I think All Might was mostly responsible for making you the hero you are now.”

Come on to me, come on to me...I need more!

Izuku laughed a little as you smiled at your comment, though the pain remained behind your eyes still and his gaze was just as intense as before. He quickly regained composure and continued. “You’re not giving yourself enough credit, love. I was watching the live feed from home while you were on your mission, and from one hero to another, you did all you could with the hand you were dealt in that situation. You can’t place unnecessary blame on yourself for something that’s not your fault. You weren’t a hinder to them, and you didn’t cause them any further problems. I mean, unless you were the one who set the building on fire, but that’s not likely, right?” His teasing tone was meant to lighten the situation, but it seemed to have no affect against the worry and anxiety radiating from you. “Y/N.”

“Hm?” At some point you realized you had zoned out and starting daydreaming about all the possible ways the situation could have gone wrong. Izuku’s voice pulled you back to reality and away from your twisted reverie.

“I love you. It’s okay to feel upset and angry about today, about yesterday, about last month- and especially about that comment your manager made. Which, by the way, we need a new manager for you now, but that’s not the point. I want you to know that I will always be here to support and love you like you’ve supported and loved me. Your friends love you and support you also, you know. Uraraka was just asking me about you yesterday, actually...said you looked a little blue. Oh, and Todoroki wanted me to pass on a message. Something about an angry pomeranian? Are you two making fun of Kaachan again?” He gave you a pointed look.

“Well...yes and no?” You sheepishly grinned and laughed while he just rolled his eyes.

“Anyways, the point I’m trying to make is that you are worth so much more than you think. Your friends love you, I love you, and your fans also love you. You’re more than just a sidekick. You’re an amazing hero and an even better partner to me, and you are not and will never be a failure at any point in time. You did all you could to save those people, and if you hadn’t stepped in when you did, Uravity might not have been able to get to them after all. If you don’t want to be a hero anymore, then of course I’ll support you no matter what, but that’s not really what you want to do, is it?”

Deep down, you knew Izuku was right. There was no way you could step down from being a hero; you loved helping people almost as much as he did. Being a hero was just as much a part of you as your nose or your eyes or your lips. It was a second nature, something you couldn’t just give up on so easily.

“I want to help people and be a hero. I just...lately, I just don’t feel like I’m good enough.”

You sounded so sad and dejected still, and it absolutely broke his heart. Izuku silently promised himself to do everything in his power to make you believe in yourself again before racking his brain for ideas on how to further cheer you up. When you had bad days, there were certain things he did to comfort you and help you relax, but this seemed to be a bit more serious, and thus, required a more elaborate solution than the normal hot bath and back massage. Maybe...yes, that was perfect! It probably wouldn’t fix the problem long term, but it would be a good start.

“You are good enough, and I will always be here to remind you of that.” He leaned in and gave you a soft kiss. “Come on, let’s go relax in bed. I’ll even give you a ride there if you want.”

Your eyes immediately lit up as he turned around and crouched down so you could climb on to his back. As goofy as he was, you absolutely adored him. “Yes! You’re the best!” You squealed as he lifted you up with ease and locked his arms around the back of your legs to keep you nice and secure while he strode to the bedroom. Once there, he set you down on the bed before putting his plan into motion.

At the foot of your bed, you had a night sky projector that would cast the image of stars and planets onto your ceiling. Izuku had gotten it for you for your last birthday, and you loved it dearly. It made you feel content and relaxed when you were restless. Often times, you used it while you were in the bath or right before bed when you were having a rough night. It was perfect for occasions like this. Choosing the setting with the purple colored lights, Izuku powered it on and the two of you watched as your bedroom lit up all over. It was like you were really in space.

He made his way back to bed where you were currently snuggling into the giant comforter you both shared, a blissful smile on his face at the sight of you. You seemed to be feeling better already; you cuddled up to him as the little spoon as soon as he slid under the covers with you. He made sure to find a comfortable position for the both of you, and with the ambience set, there was only one last thing to do.

“If you feel broken, promise I won’t break your heart. If you shatter, I won’t let you fall apart. Why are we so complicated? Love’s a word I’ve always hated...”

You listened to him sing softly, the words falling from his lips effortlessly as he serenaded you with your favorite melody.

“I’m tired of waiting! I was never good at sports; save the games for the girls on the tennis court. Say you need me, but lately you feel unsure. Come on to me, come on to me, I need more...”

You closed your eyes and slowly drifted away from your worries as he sang. If every night could end like this, then maybe everything would be okay after all.

“It always feel like I need more... Jesus Christ, you’re so confusing! If we keep score, bet my money that I’m losing...”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“No, I love you more.”

You felt his laugh reverberate through his chest as he snuggled closer.

“Go to bed, Y/N.”

“Mmn...”

“If you feel lonely, I could be lonely with you... Tell me, baby, why do you seem so blue?”

#izuku x reader #izuku midoriya #izuku #midoriya #izuku midoriya x reader #midoriya x reader #bnha #mha #bhna x reader #bnha midoriya #bnha izuku #izuku x reader fluff #izuku x reader angst

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