#yes. i turned her into a molecule because i am still TOO EMBARRASSED TO SHOW HER OFF FULLY. but here she is…

[lauraeggotama]

new f/o, no elaboration.

[fullycakedup-brownie]

Thank you, lemonheads

Disclaimer: non-pandemic AU; winter setting; fluff; a pinch of spice to make everything nice; swearing; Length: 3906 words; Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen AU; Characters: Yuuji/Sukuna x Black!Fem!Reader

The alarm did not go off at 7 am since it was Saturday, yet your eyes have been wide open for about one hour. The sun rays brought light on the ashy winter sky and you lazily shifted in your bed to check the time. How is it only 7:47 while I feel I’ve been laying here forever? You asked yourself in a deep sigh before you threw away the blanket and sat up on the edge of the bed. A life-saving decision you had taken the night before when you braided your hair, for not a single molecule in your body was able to deal with those shoulder-length thick curls after you wasted your night staring at the ceiling. Your body has developed a habit to wake up around 1 am for no particular reason and have you losing your mind over it. Usually, you managed to fall back asleep quickly, but that night between Friday and Saturday you just couldn’t. No one was online on any social media platform, you knew it would take you more time than available to pick one of the thirty million shows that you wanted to catch up on and you didn’t want to fuck up your night completely, so you forced yourself back into slumber. But now it was morning, your eyes tired and your body heavy.

With your mind set on still having a wonderful free weekend, you rummaged through the cabinets in the lovely apartment you had been thrilled to finally afford, in a futile attempt to grab a bite. You breathed deeply while counting down from ten after finding exactly half of a package of Lemonheads and some leftover seafood on a plate in the fridge. The initial plan was abandoned with the calamari as you headed for the bathroom, knowing for a fact that a nice scrubbing session during a dangerously hot shower will whoosh away all the fatigue and annoyance.

Fresh smell, moisturized gleaming skin, proud dark-brown eyes staring at you from the mirror made you put on a cheeky smile and leave the bathroom barefoot. One step into your bedroom and your stomach almost shouted at you. Ah, I do gotta eat something. McDonald’s it is, then. You were quick to agree to yourself and also to get dressed and leave the house. It has been snowing for a few days so the pavements were covered in a dense layer of white wonder, which made you decide to walk to the breakfast provider, instead of driving there. It wasn’t that far and you also loved the city landscapes.

The neon-yellow combat boots contrasted considerably with the red coat and drew the attention of the entire crowd inside McDonald’s, including one specific young man that was sitting alone at a table in the back. He watched your silhouette walk by a group of boys that didn’t even try to mask their reaction to your looks as you headed to the line to place your order.

“Even I know that it’s not nice to stare,” Sukuna talked all of a sudden, startling poor Itadori and causing him to sink his head deeper in the hood.

“Shut up, someone could hear you,” the boy whispered, looking down on his tray to avoid being heard by other customers.

“Is that the girl you’ve been going on about lately?”

“What girl? There’s no girl. What girl?” Yuuji panicked a bit, the heart racing in his chest letting Sukuna know he was right. Again.

“It’s not that hard. Just go there, what the fuck are you so scared about?” The otherwise thoughtless demon cared to push his host up on his feet.

Swallowing his anxiety along with the gallon of saliva in his mouth, Yuuji left his table, threw the sandwich’s wrapping paper in the trash bin when he passed by and stalled in your proximity on his way out. He just wanted to see you better than he could do it on the high school corridors in the lunch break, but blame it on the coincidence theory, that was the exact moment some Lemonheads slipped from the pocket of your black cargo pants when you pulled out your phone. That was a chance he was not willing to sacrifice. He dropped in a squat, picked the wrapped candies and smiled at you.

“I think you dropped these.”

You turned your head in the direction of the familiar voice only to find the cheerfully grinning pink-haired boy that you could’ve sworn you would fight anyone for.

“Hi. Oh, yes, thanks,” you replied in a pretty much measured tone and grabbed the candies from his palm.

“I’m Yuuji, by the way.” The shot was fired and his blood started boiling under the tension of his mind analyzing all the possible ways you could’ve answered to him. You could’ve laughed, whooshed him away, cringed at his boldness, pulled away or even cut his words. But he did not expect you to shake his hand, with a big smile plastered on your face.

“Alex here. Hi. Do you wann-” the number of your order appeared on the big screen and you paused your question, “-be right back at ya,” you smiled at Yuuji and went to the lady waiting with your bag.

As soon as your eyes got away from his face, Itadori let out a brief silent sigh and filled his hoodie pocket with his fists. This is good. I can do this. What if I ask her out? He was deep in thoughts when a lady shook his shoulder. “Young man, are you ordering, or just blocking the line?” The “I’m tired of you teenagers’ attitude” look on her face disturbed Yuuji and he left the spot, joining you at the front desk.

“Wasn’t you supposed to tell me you were out of the pancake meal? Why did you take my money then?” You tried really hard to hold back some yelling, but a vein on your forehead was definitely popping out.

“What’s the matter?” The boy asked, stopping next to you.

Pure sarcasm on your face when you looked from the staff girl to Yuuji. “I shall be starving to death today.”

“Miss, we can give you something else for the same amount. My colleagues weren’t awa-“

“Just give her a refund. We’ll be fine,” Yuuji stepped in and had both you and the other girl confused.

She gave your money back a bit half-hearted, and truth be told, you were feeling like that too, not only because you were hungry, but man, you loved the pancakes and the bacon and the eggs.

“Where are we going?” You asked, following Itadori out the restaurant after he motioned you to do so.

“I always wanted to try this food, instead of the usual fast-food.”

You had no idea what he was talking about, nor where he was leading you, but your guts weren’t agitated. There was something about that boy that screamed “safety” in your ears. The trip to the unknown food place he was taking you was short and you didn’t really get the time to make any small talk. Yuuji turned his body to face you, suddenly spreading and lifting his arm high up, a cheeky grin on his face when he exclaimed, “I present you ‘Gyros’, my new obsession.”

The fact that no word came out of your mouth as you stood in front of him, with your eyes blinking quickly, wiped Yuuji’s smile away. His confidence took a hike when his hands dropped from the air, where they were pointing at the ‘Gyros’ sign. “Should we just go back to McDonald’s?” He asked, rubbing the back of his head and frowning bashfully, not only because your glare fixed him, but also because Sukuna was laughing powerfully inside his mind.

“You. You have no idea where you just brought me,” your voice sounded more serious than you intended, so you giggled on purpose to loosen the tension because Yuuji looked like he was about to pass out from embarrassment. “Boy, relax. I was kidding-“ you barely held back a laugh, “-this is not my first ride with Gyros,” you finished and rested your palm on his shoulder. The pressure in his chest got released once he realized your playful attitude and he redirected his attention to placing an order he was about to pay for entirely.

Food hits differently at the standing tables and so do conversations. There you were, eating one of your favourite foods, chatting with your newest pal and enjoying the view of the tall city buildings that surrounded you. Once he found comfort in your presence, Yuuji opened up and he appeared even cuter to you than he did before. His eyes would gleam when you found his stupid jokes funny and his loud laughter would join yours when you gossiped like two best friends. The cutest thing about Itadori that you found yourself adoring was that he closed his eyes every time he bit on the gyros. You allowed a discreet smile to form on your lips as you admired him and he wasn’t aware of it. No matter how big of a portion you would’ve bought, it couldn’t take you an eternity to finish up your plate. You actually finished yours sooner than the boy, to steal a few more seconds of watching him perform such an automatic and usual activity as eating because he looked so precious doing it.

“Here, help me up.” Yuuji’s voice pulled you out of your daydreaming just as swiftly as the fry that he pushed into your gaping mouth. You chomped on it instantly and caused Yuuji to laugh at your confused face. “Listen, are you busy today? I was wondering if we could wal-“

“Yes, let’s go,” you answered almost instantly, chugging the rest of the Sprite in the paper cup and grinning back at Yuuji who was once again flustered.

The boy’s face flushed red and he smiled at you right before wiping his lips with a napkin and gathering all the food wrapping. “Where do you want to go?” You asked, watching him have a brain glitch for having to wipe his hands on his pants because he has thrown away all the tissues.

“I was thinking of arcade games, but we don’t have to if you don’t want to, I mean…” Yuuji suggested in a low voice causing Sukuna to roll his eyes aggressively. You are even dumber than I thought, brat. The poor boy shook his head to get rid of the voice and by doing that he missed your reply.

“Hey, did you hear what I said?” You shouted, thinking that he didn’t hear you because of all those car horns on the street.

“Yeah, no, sure. Of course, we can do that instead.”

“Bruh, you’re damaged!” You shouted again and started laughing. “I said I will destroy you in the arcade,” you continued, still full-on laughing, the slight touch of your hand on his arm sending him your cheerful vibes.

“If you say so, let’s test it.” Yuuji caught some courage and sped up the pace. “Can you run in those?” He pointed at your boots and chuckled when you threw him a very offended look.

“Excuse you, I can beat you to it!” You accepted the challenge and sprinted away from Yuuji. His light-brown eyes widened in surprise and he started running.

No, you did not win the race. He was already inside RedLine VR when you managed to arrive at the doorstep, barely catching your breath. “I-… I need- … whoa… where did you get that stamina from?” The mock-neck long-sleeved top was practically suffocating you.

“I don’t know. Guess I’m gifted.” Again rubbing the back of his head bashfully, that boy could not be cuter. Or so you thought.

He led you inside the place and even helped you take your coat off as you cracked your knuckles in preparation for beating Yuuji’s ass up in video games. The coloured light from the video game’s display reflected in your gold hoop earrings as much as they reflected in your wide-open gleaming eyes. His eyes spent more time taking in the shape of your face and the colour of your skin more than they did on the actual screen. You unknowingly made him bite his bottom lip when you let out a different type of chuckle. You wanted it to sound devilish, but it didn’t come out quite like that.

Imagine her moaning with that voice, Sukuna busted in Yuuji’s mind, his own rather full of your image, and caused a deep blush on the kid’s face. It was annoying how much affect you had on Yuuji, and he tried to not look at you like that anymore.

Itadori was good at sports, not games, and you won countless rounds leisurely. Each time you shouted your victory, you clapped your hands in delight and made a funny face to Yuuji. He faked slight envy at first, his pathetic whines giving Sukuna a real headache, but eventually, your general happy state made the boy smile. If somebody observed him, they would’ve figured it out in one second that you completely entranced him. As funny as it was to see him struggling to fight you for the first place in the game, you grew bored of the arcade and suggested you went somewhere else.

“Do you want to go to a park?” Yuuji asked, his mind quickly mapping the area for the closest park.

Too many people around, huh? An evil chuckle hit the corners of the poor boy’s head and he tried to keep his secret hidden furthermore.

“A park sounds good, Yuuji. Can I call you Yuuji?” Only after you said it out loud, you remembered about the Japanese courtesy and, feeling a bit weird, you made yourself busy with putting your coat back on.

“Yeah, sure, you can call me Yu-,“ “Daddy,” his voice was cut off by Sukuna’s who whispered loudly enough for the teens around you two to hear.

“YUUJI!” He tried to mask the demon’s voice and covered the mouth on his cheek instantly. “You can call me Yuuji.” He swallowed hard and then smiled as if nothing happened.

“You’re weird, but cutely,” you said with a cheeky smile as you made your way out the room.

He followed soon after scolding his so-called co-inhabitant and walked by your side, between you and the busy road. You took your time walking to Winnemac Park since it would’ve been too much of a bother to take the bus for only one short station. Once inside the park, you felt like the world around you changed: there was undisturbed snow everywhere, Sun was slowly going down and it was silent. Your romantic side emerged and you hung your hand on Yuuji’s forearm. Your affection was electrifying, and even if he didn’t see it coming and hadn’t prepared for it, the boy accepted it gladly by sticking his hand in the hoodie big front pocket, to help your hand rest better on his arm. Fifteen minutes of walking through town have been filled with school gossip, laughing and “get-to-know-you-better” stuff, but as the cold settled down, you both became quieter.

“Hey, look.” You left Yuuji’s side by a couple of steps and you squatted down to grab something from the pavement.

“Wha-“ Boy didn’t stand a chance against your mischievous snowball attack. “Oh, you did not!” He laughed and leaned to the side to gather some snow for his part of the game.

The war was set into motion. Yuuji found it admirable that you managed to dodge many of his shots even while you almost choked on your own laughter. He loved to see you smiling and having a good time, especially because it was due to his actions. For a second, he got lost again in your smile and the snowball that you threw hit him right in the face. The hand he held a snowball in was frozen above his head, as he had prepared to throw it at you before falling in trance. He had no reaction whatsoever and it worried you a hell lot.

“I’m so sorry, Yuuji, are you ok?” You rushed closer to him and wiped the snow off his face with gentle and burning hands.

When his eyes opened, you hated yourself for falling into that old trap. His arms circled you abruptly and he intended to make you fall in the snow, but you proved more agile than he thought and you escaped. Your freedom didn’t last long, though, for he tackled you. Only, he didn’t see that you have reached the margin of the sidewalk and you would’ve fallen on your ass if it wasn’t for his strong grip. He looked astonishing towering like that over you, and not only the situation was somewhat hot, but you also hated to see him win the fight. One of your legs jerked fast and cut Yuuji’s balance, making him fall over you in the snow. Light-brown eyes met dark-brown ones and the imminent sparkle tied your insides in a tight knot. His face was so close to yours that it had you imagine what would happen if you kissed him right then and there. Yet, none of you two moved a muscle, except for the throat muscles who kept gulping timidly.

Alex and Yuuji are in a tree. K-i-s-s-i-n-g! Sukuna’s words echoed in Itadori’s mind and they added to the closeness between your face and his, making him blush deeply. He stood up slowly and helped you on your feet too. Again silence as each of you cleaned the snow off of yourselves, avoiding the awkward moment.

“So, what now? I’m not cold anymore.” You snapped out of it and gave your best to look as normal as before in front of him, even if your stomach had a watermelon-sized hole inside.

“It’s getting late and I don’t really know the city that well at night. You want me to walk you to a bus station or something?” He asked, barely holding his composure in front of you while Sukuna yelled in his mind nonsense like You’re a chicken. A loser. Fucking lame-ass, stupid motherfucker. You could’ve kissed her. You should’ve kissed her! I should’ve taken over the control and kissed her right there!

“Sure. I don’t live far from here actually, you can walk me home if you want,” you suggested, hoping that he won’t interpret it the wrong way.

The weather became surprisingly harsh after sundown and your little coat didn’t do much in protecting you. Instinctively, you neared Itadori more, lured by the warmth his body radiated. As you balanced your gravity centre from one leg to the other, constantly moving your hands to try to keep them from freezing, your hand brushed against Itadori’s, which was hanging loosely by his body. He definitely felt it because you saw his jaw clenching, but he didn’t bring it up. So you did it again.

Oh, man, she’s got balls bigger than you, Sukuna mocked his host and then proceeded to laugh. You’re not gonna do anything about it?

Your ring and middle finger brushed the side of Yuuji’s hand softly as you two continued walking. When his pinkie interlocked with yours, you were no longer cold. The hole in your stomach filled with butterflies and you could feel your heart pounding against your chest. You hated yourself for being that flustered and weak, but from the way his other fingers circled your hand, you knew the feelings would only get more intense. The dark fell rather quickly and you found yourself squeezing Yuuji’s hand, to which he chuckled.

“Are you afraid of darkness?” He asked in a low tone, caressing the back of your hand with his thumb.

“L-lol, no,” you stuttered a bit but smiled as you looked up to Yuuji, who was just teasing you with a gentle look in his eyes.

The way back home is always shorter and you reached the front door of the building you lived in with a lump in your throat. It was time to let go of his hand and maybe, who knew, let go of that moment too. You didn’t know much about Yuuji other than he was a foreign exchange student, who came for who knows how much time in Chicago, he liked Gyros as much as you and he had a lot of running stamina.

“Well, this is where I live, so… see you at school?” You asked sheepishly, slowly growing aware of the blush on Itadori’s face that was now visible because of the street light close-by.

Do it, brat. Do it now. Don’t be a pussy.

“Listen, Alex… Today has been a very nice day and I’m glad you dropped your candies.”

You scoffed at his hilarious confession and attempted to pull your hand away from his, but just as before, in the park when he caught you, Yuuji’s grip remained firm. “No, let me hold it a bit more,” he whispered, taking a step closer to you.

JUST DO IT ALREADY! You’ll thank me later. Sukuna could hear all of Yuuji’s thoughts and feel the desperate hollow in the boy’s chest. He couldn’t take Yuuji’s reticence anymore. Black marks began appearing on Yuuji’s cheekbones and chin and as soon as he sensed his conscience being ripped from him, the boy shouted. “Ok, ok, I’ll do it!”

“Uhm, I didn’t ask you anything… What’s wrong?” You squeezed his hand once more as you tried to understand what was just about to happen to his face and why he screamed like that.

“Ignore that. It-it’s a long story and I’d rather not tell it now,” Itadori released your hand and stared at you dead in the eye. “How mad would you be if I kissed you right now?”

Your face caught fire. Your ears were burning and your stomach was doing front flips. You barely got to whisper anything before Yuuji’s palms grabbed your cheeks and he slammed his lips on yours. They were soft and warm and he kissed you so slowly that it had you melting in his arms. Your own lips parted to welcome him just as hungrily as your hands tugged at his hoodie to keep him close. He pulled back, eventually, and you smiled at each other in the surprise of what just happened. His forehead leaned on yours and the way you burst into laughter made Yuuji laugh too.

“I hope I didn’t ruin today…” he whispered, rubbing your cheeks with his thumbs, but not parting from your figure yet.

“I can’t wait to see you again, boy,” you cooed, stealing another peck from him before you turned to enter the building.

You barely walked up the stairs with a grin splattered on your face and increased heart rate and once you entered your apartment, you slid down your door and laughed alone for a couple of minutes. That just happened and you were there and he was there and what’s gonna happen now? In the same way, Yuuji called himself an Uber and got inside with palms sweating and a happy frown on his face.

“Finally taking my advice. She was too cute to waste, man. If you didn’t take the chance, I would’ve.”

“Sukuna shut the hell up. I kissed her first.”

I just want to thank @half-baked-biscuit for writing this fanfic for me that I sent in as a commission. I really do appreciate her writing a black fem reader and her taking the time to write this amazing fluff with yuuji/sukuna. I love you bitch T^T. Also credit to the artist for the picture above @hinamie. This was an amazing design so I just had to use it! Please like, reblog, and comment :3

Heres the link to the original post of the artist: https://hinamie.tumblr.com/post/635380113076355072/th-designs-in-this-show-r-god-tier-thank-u-jjk 

Taglist: @half-baked-biscuit @siriusimie @mangobxbbletea @corduroyrose

[hunnybadgerv]

Memorable View | Mass Effect | Guardians in the Darkness

Summary: A relaxed stroll brings up happy memories and turns into heated exchange that sends Nyx and Kaidan rushing home for a bit of peace.

a/n: I have no idea if this was a prompt, or just popped up, but I started it back in 2018 and then just let it sit. So, I went through it a few more times to polish it up. I can’t believe I haven’t posted more about Nyx and Kaidan.

Read on AO3

Memorable View

-1-

Slow strolls through the wards became part of their ritual. In a way it could be calming. On the Citadel, you could barely tell there was a war on. At the same time, that exact fact could be immensely frustrating. Kaidan’s hand in hers managed to keep those darker thoughts at bay. He gave her a squeeze and Nyx grinned up at him.

“I love that smile,” he told her.

“Good, because it’s all yours.”

A low chuckle passed between them. His fingertips grazed the line of her jaw when he bent to brush his lips against hers. “I’m a lucky man.”

Nyx’s grin took a mischievous tilt. She poked him in the ribs. “Yes, you are.”

Using their clasped hands, he pulled her closer, only releasing her in order to drape his arm over her shoulder. His lips brushed her temple when she slipped her arms around his waist. Her eyes flitted around the space, taking note of the location. It was a force of habit, her life made her threat assess every place she walked into, every person she met. Even in the arms of her lover, it was something she struggled to turn off completely.

“We’ve been here before,” she said, loosening her grip around his middle. Her hand reached up to take hold of his, which dangled over her shoulder and she pulled him toward the lookout point. “Remember?” she asked, glancing back at him as her pace quickened toward the railing.

Nyx Shepard sighed through her nose. The flutter in her chest reminiscent of that day that seemed like so many lifetimes ago brought a tender smile to her lips. The warmth of Kaidan against her back stood in stark contrast to the cold metal beneath her palms.

“Big place,” Kaidan whispered against the shell of her ear. His lips pressed against it softly.

“You do remember.” She released the balustrade, trading chilled metal for the hand slipping around her middle. Encouraging his grasp on her to tighten as she curved herself against his chest.

“How could I possibly forget?” His laughter curled around her, vibrating through his body into hers. “It was the most embarrassing moment of my career up to that point.”

Their laughter increased as they held one another close, staring out at the vast expanse of the Citadel’s arms. “It hit me like a truck,” she breathed as she leaned completely against him, wholly faithful that he’d hold her steady in any storm.

“How?” he laughed. “You knew I was interested in you that first night before we even put out.”

“I know. I just figured maybe the uniform would turn it off,” she admitted, studying the massive space station around them. It was shocking how similar those two moments seemed in her mind.

“Didn’t work for you,” he teased, resting his cheek on her head.

“No. I guess I just hoped your willpower was better than mine was turning out to be at the time.”

Kaidan chuckled again. “Clearly, not.” He pressed a kiss into her hair, shaking his head just a little. “You were so calm about it though. Just—” his body tensed, his voice taking on that note of command “—lock it down, Marine.”

Nyx turned in his arms; the movement bringing his gaze to meet hers. “Actually,” she said, emphasizing the word by pressing her hands up the muscled plane of his chest, “I said I appreciated the thought. And I did. I still do,” she told him, her fingers tracing along the sides of his neck.

“Well, I still think the Council is lucky as hell to have you as a Spectre.”

“Luckier now that they have you, too.” Nyx inched closer, her voice softening.

Kaidan mirrored her, closing the distance with a measured pace of his own. “Not sure I could ever fill your shoes.”

“You don’t have to. You’re making your own mark.”

The tip of his nose brushed against hers when his head tipped. “Just glad I can do it by your side again.”

“So am I, Kaidan.” Her gaze flitted over his face, as if she could memorize every detail. “I love you. Never stopped,” she admitted.

“I know. Me too, Nyx,” he said, the words rushing past his lips before they met hers.

Their arms tightened, as if physics might somehow bend around them and allow them to force every molecule of anything from between them. The kiss, which started gentle, quickly threatened to consume them both. His hips pressed hers against the railing, his body curving over her as they refused to let the kiss break.

In the beginning of their relationship, they moved with the caution of the unintiated. They foolishly believed there would be time later to show the other how they felt, how much that person meant, how they esteemed and respected them. Compartively, now, at the tip of the spear, they didn’t waste time. Didn’t hold off for later what could be done and said in the moment, because better than anyone they both knew the truth of the adage that tomorrow was promised to no one.

A gasp drew them apart, though not too far. Between panting breaths, his lips brushed hers.

“Let’s go back to the apartment,” Nyx mumbled, her fingers twining in his hair. Heading off any possible argument at the pass, she added, “We still have time.”

“Yeah, let’s.” His eyes darted from side to side without his forehead even leaving it’s resting place against hers. With a resigned sigh, he kissed her once more, harder than the sweet pecks he’d been tasting her with while he contemplated a plan. Not more than a moment later, with one arm still around her waist, he guided her toward the taxi call.

Nyx stretched on her toes to plant tender, wet kisses along his neck while he tapped out the request on the console. She used her grip on him to gain her a bit of extra leverage when it was needed.

As the console’s AI voice chimed, “Transaction confirmed. Your car will arrive in two minutes,” Nyx nipped at his adam’s apple.

“A lifetime,” he muttered. He pushed his hands through her hair, prying her from his neck for their mouths to meet once more. Her lips parted in response to his open mouth. His tongue plunging against hers when they met once more. His fingers tangled in her hair, cradling her close, as if to keep her from escaping. But that was the farthest thing from Nyx’s mind.

“Humans,” a gruff voiced scoffed in passing, but neither paid the comment any mind. At that moment, they had the only thing each of them needed. The chiming of the console barely more than a minute later proved more successful in distracting them from one another.

 -2-

“No driver,” Nyx observed, flashing Kaidan a cheeky smile over her shoulder as she climbed into the backseat. She patted the seat next to her with a lift of her brow. But it was the way she bit her bottom lip that sent Kaidan’s mind into a frenzy. Every fiber in him wanted to snatch that lip from between her teeth and suck it into his mouth where he could nibble at it himself.

Damnit, he thought sliding into the offered spot. The door barely closed before she scooted closer, but he wouldn’t want her anywhere else. His hand covered her cheek and he got his wish. She freed her lip, just in time for him to capture it. Her hand fisted in his shirt, letting his teeth nip at her plump bottom lip before he let go only to capture her entire mouth.

Her leg draped over one of his, and his hand moved over the muscular curve of it to her rear. With one arm around her waist and his other hand grasping her ass, he tugged her onto his lap; her legs tucked on either side of his thighs. The weight of her against him felt vital—it anchored him there in that time and place. The shift of her hips against his broke their kiss with a moan on both their parts. For a moment, Kaidan wondered what he’d been thinking pulling her into his lap. When his teeth, found purchase in the thin skin of her neck, wrenching another sigh from her lips, he remembered—leverage.

His hands skimmed her ribs as he alternated wet kisses and sharp bites toward the neckline of her blouse. Her heavy breathing echoed in his ears, along with his own racing pulse. He pulled a button loose when his chin rested in a makeshift net of fabric, exposing more of her decadent skin to his ravenous explorations.

Nyx’s hand caught his, when he moved to undo a second. “We’re not that far from home, Kaidan.”

“Far enough,” he teased, tipping his hips up against her as his other hand kept her from rising beyond the temptation of feeling him against her.

“Damnit, Kaidan.”

Her hands tipped his chin upward; her lips met his hard. His hand moved from her buttons to cover her breast, squeezing it in his palm as he let her control the kiss. Kaidan encouraged the movement of her hips, the hand still on her ass tightening with each rock of her body against his. He welcomed every thrust of her tongue into his mouth. With greed, he swallowed the moan that escaped her when he rolled her nipple between his fingers.

Their destination might not be far enough for them to have sex, but it didn’t mean that he couldn’t get her close. He popped another button loose on her blouse, his hand ducking into it to hook a finger on the lace of her bra. Breaking the kiss, his attention shifted on a dime as he dragged his tongue over her newly bared skin. His amber eyes turned up toward hers as he flicked the tip of his tongue at her pert nipple. The soft chuckle in her throat shuddered. Her head fell back with a gasp, when his mouth wrapped around it.

Kaidan hummed in approval when her hands fisted in his hair. She held him fast, like her survival depended on the way he teased her breast. Desire spurred the way her hips worked against his, her body teasing against his straining cock. He wanted to feel her against him, skin to skin. Wanted to strip them both bare and worship every inch of her before anything pulled them out of this bubble of stolen normalcy and lust.

That would require patience. Sure, he possessed it, but employing the will to enact it was a different story entirely. Leading with his tongue, he traversed the swell of her body to the valley between her breasts. The hand on her rear gave her another encouraging squeeze, prompting her hips into another languid roll that left him groaning against her dewy skin.

“Kaidan,” she whimpered.

His eyes flicked up to meet her gaze. He loved the sight of sex on her—lips swollen from his kisses and her own teeth tugging at them, parted just so in an effort to entice his tongue to push past and steal the breath right out of her lungs. Her hands loosened in his hair, but he didn’t make the dive, not yet. His hands changed places, one rising to pull her blouse to the other side as the fabric teased toward and caught on the nipple he’d already teased hard. Another begged for his attention.

Sharp, white teeth puckered her rosy and plump bottom lip once more with the shift of her clothing. He dragged his tongue along the lacy edge of her bra. His fingers skimmed her ribs, inching closer to his goal. Kaidan’s amber gaze focused on her, unwavering, as he tugged the fabric beneath her other breast. He stared at her when he slowly shook his head, letting his lips barely brush over the sensitive peak before him.

Her breath shook; her attention as rapt on him as his was upon her. His tongue darted out to flick the nub and she cried out. He did it once more, the reaction not nearly as marked. So, he dragged the flat of his tongue over her skin to the tune of her languid moan. Greediness motivated his attentions, the need for her pleasure, to hear her let go of everything except what they shared.

“Approaching Destination. Thank you for choosing Citadel United AirCar Services. Enjoy the rest of your visit. Locally, you can find fine restaurants, gaming establishments, and popular entertainment venues, including the Armax Arsenal Arena, where the best in the galaxy pit themselves against some of the Milky Way’s most challenging forces,” the automated voice stated. The electronic voice cut through the sound of their heavy breathing, but did nothing to deter Kaidan from his task.

Shepard, however, must have maintained far more self control than Alenko would have liked to allow. Her fingers tightened in his hair once more, but this time her movements were more demanding than enticing. She tugged; he hissed and her nipple fell from his mouth as he stared up at her. “We’re almost there.”

“Almost being the key word,” he replied, pinching her moist skin.

“So bad.”

“Only when you’re involved.”

“Likely story.”

“Fact,” he argued, lunging toward her.

With a bright peel of laughter, Nyx sat back on his lap. Her hands tightened in his hair for a flash, before releasing their hold and carding through the strands. She attempted to smooth it back into place as best she could. Kaidan proved far less cooperative, letting his hands tease over the bare skin she’d yanked his mouth away from moments earlier. Every time her breath caught, he grinned; until she batted his hand away and righted her lingerie. She leaned forward and kissed him. When it broke, just as their taxi slowed and maneuvered to drop them just outside the apartment building, her buttons were refastened; though her appearance remained a bit disheveled once she slipped off his lap.

 -3-

The door opened onto the bright neon of the Silversun Strip. This part of the Citadel buzzed with life and activity no matter the hour. Nyx hurried out of the vehicle and held her hand out for Kaidan’s, which grasped hers tightly in reply. Just that chaste touch kept her pulse racing. Of course, it didn’t help that he left her nipples aching, and now pressed against the lace of her bra they screamed for the warmth of his mouth and smooth touch of his palms. Every inch of her skin seemed to crave his attention, she buzzed with anticipation—for a private moment in the elevator ride, for the quietude of the apartment where they would both be able to toss all sense of caution to the wind and drown in one another.

Nyx felt her mouth turn downward when they neared the elevator bank to find a quartet of people also waiting for the lift. Kaidan stopped behind her, the firmness of his chest against her back made her shiver.

“A shame,” he mumbled against the shell of her ear.

A smile curled her lips and she turned. Slipping her hand behind his neck, she pulled his ear toward her and he allowed it. “Lucky you. I had retaliation in mind.”

Kaidan pulled back, grinning at her. “We could always wait for the next one.”

“Or we could take this one and I can get your clothes off sooner.”

“Roger that. I like that plan better.”

When it arrived, Kaidan slipped into the rear of the lift car; Nyx pressed their floor on her way to join him. She stopped in front of him. Her hand nearest the wall left the railing when the car started to move. Then she leaned against him, Nyx took a chance at retaliation. His whole body stiffened when her fingertips grazed his inner thigh.

Her teeth clamped down on her lips to suppress her laughter when he inched backward. A thud resounded as his heel bumped the kick plate, signaling the limits to his escape.

“Nyx,” he whispered into her hair, as if the warning might detour the upward track of her hand.

Certainly, he could have grabbed her wrist before she pressed her palm against the length of him. He covered the rumble in his throat with a cough, and her grin widened. Kaidan’s thick hand clamped down on her hip and pulled her against his chest. It didn’t keep her from teasing him, but then he knew her weaknesses as well as she knew the touches that would drive him insane.

“Payback.” The lazily drawn out syllables of his taunt rumbled down her spine.

When the elevator made its first stop, she leaned back and looked up at him. “Bring it, major.”

He clasped her chin and pressed a hungry kiss to her lips in a fervent answer to her challenge. Thankfully, the elevator didn’t empty before they reached their floor, or Kaidan might have just hacked the car and trapped them there intentionally. She slipped her hand into his and pulled her lover in her wake, not that he needed any further encouragement to stay on her heels.

The apartment door opened with a quiet swish and Kaidan’s arms wrapped around her almost instantly. He growled low into her hair, before he bared her neck and bit her at the junction of her shoulder.

“You know you started it,” Nyx said with a hiss. She turned and draped her arms around his shoulders.

Kaidan hummed against her lips, sealing their mouths in another deep kiss. “I’m going to finish it, too,” he promised.

“Then stop talking about it,” she said, laying her hands on his chest and pushing his back against the stone wall just inside the entrance. She held his heated gaze, fingers moving quickly to loosen his belt. “And do it.” With that challenge, she inched his waistband down.

A moment of indecision on his part gave her all the advantage she needed. Uncovering his stomach, she dotted kisses across the topography she knew well as she sank to her knees before him. He pushed her hair away from her face staring down at her. When her lips parted, so did his. The flick of her tongue against him curled his mouth into a smirk.

“Beautiful and devious,” he started, the final S fading into a quiet hiss as the flat of her tongue traced his length from base to tip. “This,” he said, swallowing when she guided him into her mouth, “is not quite what I had in mind.”

She didn’t give him an answer, at least not a verbal one. No, she limited her response to gentle sucks, dexterous licks, and the restrained use of teeth. It earned her a bevy of low and delicious moans that only spurred her along and prompted gentle hums that she knew drove him wild. Kaidan didn’t take his eyes off her, couldn’t; it was part of the thrill, how much he enjoyed watching her, watching them. From the subtle shift of his hips, which he strained to control, to the way his fingers threaded through her hair, tightening when her creative tongue or adroit fingers found just the right combination of touches, she could sense him inching closer. She waited for him to decide if she’d finish him there and then or if he’d pull her free.

A hint of saltiness hit her tongue, and she shifted, squeezing her thighs together tighter. One palm pressed up his body, slipping beneath his shirt along the slope of his chest. His shoulders pushed into the wall, his hips pressed toward her, deeper into her mouth. Her other hand moved along his shaft as her lips teased at the tip of him.

“Nyx,” he groaned at her.

Her thumb hooked in the hem of his shirt, bearing his chest, or at least as much as she could without stopping. Her decision made in the greedy echo of her name. His voice carried a telltale hint of desperation, even though she knew it for the polite warning it was. He always warned her when she went down on him. No matter how many times she dropped to her knees for him, no matter how many times she let him come in her mouth he still told her that the pleasure rose in him, still gave her the chance to detour her course.

Her tongue swirled the sensitive crown with a hum in her throat. It clung there like a question. Inquiring, as if he had more to say than just her name. It wasn’t the real purpose of the sound, however. She knew Kaidan, knew what he liked, knew what drove him past the edge, like the vibration now surrounding through him.

That electric warm amber gaze stoked a flame within her. With a fist tightening in her blond hair, his eyes finally slipped shut. His head pressed back against the stone wall, his hips jutting forward and bucking into her mouth. She welcomed it, the weight of him on her tongue, the pulse of him between her lips, the musky flavor that coated her tongue and throat as he came. Swallowing, she watched him, watched his climax shift through the tight muscles of his abs and ripple further. His chin fell and his heady, inviting gaze met hers once more with a smirk.

“I need to taste you,” he admitted, his tongue flicking across his lips.

Raising one knee, Nyx pushed herself to her feet, her body skimming his. “How about tasting you?” she asked, the tip of her tongue brushing his lips as he loomed over her.

His tongue dove past her lips in reply. Her arms fell comfortably around Kaidan’s shoulders, while his closed around her body. When he lifted her off her feet, her legs circled his waist, ankles hooking behind his back.

The toe of his boot resounded off the frame of the sofa when he located it, then he set her on the edge of it. Still, the kiss did not break. Her legs loosened, draping on either side of him, while his hands moved from her ass to the fly of her jeans. He wasted no more time. Nor did she, once their lips separated. She pulled up each foot in turn, shedding her boots to facilitate the removal of the clothing he quickly unfastened. Kaidan straightened, pulling the soft blue t-shirt over his head and letting it fall.

Staring at the way his arms flexed, Nyx traced her fingers over his skin until he jostled her in his effort to disrobe her. She tried to balance on the back of the sofa, but the manhandling dropped her over the edge when he yanked the pants along the length of her legs, lifting them both straight into the air to accomplish their removal completely. Laughter bubbled up from her, but her blue eyes didn’t leave his face once the brush of denim left her skin. Bending her knees together, she rested her bare feet against his stomach as she laid across the sofa cushions at an odd, upside-down incline. His warm, calloused hands rested on her knees, shifting them so that her feet found purchase against the cool leather. It was a progression of motion she couldn’t strip her gaze from.

With a gentle press, he separated her knees, baring her core to his ravenous gaze. “Kaidan,” she breathed a tingle alighting over her flesh. He hadn’t even touched her, but the way he stared at her, every inch of her, she could imagine the ghosts of so many enticing touches he’d lavished upon her. “Please,” she gasped without really knowing what she wanted most.

Soft kisses landed on her knees as his fingertips skimmed over her skin in an ethereal manner. In sex, he moved like he did in the field with deliberation and consideration. With precise kisses and measured bites, he inched toward her overheated core.

Her breath shook in her body, when he finally dragged a single fingertip over her labia. It went right to his lips, his tongue flicking against it as she stared. His other hand tightened on the inside of her thigh. “So wet,” he breathed, the exhale coasting across her body with a chill

“You have that affect on me,” she admitted. “And you’re so damn gorgeous when you climax.”

His hum rose, dark and tempting, as his fingertip traced the same line once more. She could feel the easy way it glided against her, inching deeper with each pass and plucking at her hooded clit before retreating to trace a circle of temptation around her entrance. The pace of it was maddening, but the traces of Nyx’s conscious attention mainly focused on keeping herself from sliding into the floor rather than finding a retaliatory way to tease. She grasped the cushions tightly to anchor her body under his attention.

Breath catching in her throat, she didn’t dare blink when he leaned closer. His fingers opened her, exposing her clit to his consideration. The flick of his tongue against her created a shudder of surprise in her body, despite her anticipation of just that motion. When his lips wrapped around the excited nub, a breathy moan escaped her. Her head fell back, savoring his attentions, including the way his finger still teased through her folds as his tonge teased her clit. One foot shifted and she pushed it down his back.

Rather than trying to take retribution or exact some kind of control over it, Nyx basked in it, in his attention. From the tip of his tongue and the heat of his mouth to the firm push of his fingers into her and the way he hooked them against that rough spot inside her. Kaidan played her body toward an explosive crescendo. She writhed, face going bright red from the combination of excitement and the effects of gravity. Then he pulled away just before she reached the pinnacle. His hands moved over her legs, toward her knees then back toward her pussy, which he bypassed to trail up her stomach.

“Kaidan,” she gasped at him, surprise and inquiry warping her voice as well as her countenance.

“Not yet,” he told her wearing a smirk as he fisted his hands in tails of her blouse. “Close your eyes.”

It took more than a beat, but she complied. The movement of his hands jostled her as a chorus of tiny buttons thudded off soft surfaces and bounced across harder ones. Then he knocked her feet over the edge of the sofa, leaving her in a giggling heap.

After righting herself, she peeled off her destroyed blouse, and unclasped her bra, tossing it aside as well. All the while Kaidan achieved his own nudity. Then he hopped over the back of the sofa, and landed near her on his knees. One hand grasped her ankle and dragged her toward him, her bottom squeaking across the leather in a way that dissolved them both into giggles. His smile still brightening his eyes when he leaned over her; his body covered hers.

With one hand between them, he drew the tip of himself through her folds to tease and inflame her skin once more. “It’s not polite to tease. I thought politeness was the Canadian claim to fame.”

“Oh, well, I’d hate to defame every one of my countrymen,” he chided against her lips. As he pressed a kiss to her mouth, his hips thrust flush against hers, filling her in a single stroke.

She gasped into his mouth, but he refused to let the kiss break. Her leg draped over his hip as he tilted into her again, another sharp stroke that earned an incoherent chirp. He swallowed every single sound that escaped her lips as their bodies found a fervent rhythm. It finally broke when he shifted. Staring down at her, he perched himself on one knee between her legs; his other foot falling to the floor for more leverage.

Kaidan gripped her thighs. Nyx, however, couldn’t take her eyes off him—the roll of his body, the movement of the muscles under his glistening skin. “So hot,” she muttered, popping her hips to meet his with the same kind of fervor she might have used if she’d been straddling his lap.

“I know,” he agreed. Judging by the growl in his voice and focus of his gaze moving over her bare skin, she doubted they were talking about the same thing. Not that it mattered.

Relentless, he didn’t let up, but then neither did she. With his body out of reach, her hands teased across her own skin, caressing her breasts and pinching her nipples as he made her moan. They wanted the same thing. His hand slipped between them before he covered her body with his again. The heat of his skin as much as the pluck of his fingers against her clit sent her head spinning. She pulled his lips to hers, burying her hands in his hair as her tongue slipped into his mouth.

Her moan deepened with the crackle against her skin. He echoed it, a similar sound reverberating deep in his chest. “Yes,” she muttered against his neck with every snap of his hips. She could feel it in his body as well, in the rapacious rhythm and the way he swelled inside her. His teeth tugged at her bottom lip, her nails digging into his back and his neck, as every muscle in her body tensed in an instant of pause before she shattered around him.

“Fuck, Nyx,” he groaned against her mouth when she cried out. Her lips covered his; she swallowed every grunt of his finish, holding his face in her hands as he filled her.

Her heart jackhammered against her ribs, when he collapsed atop her, held up only partially by the elbow he got in place just in time. She could feel his heart beating a powerful staccato within his own chest as their kiss deepened. Kaidan took it over once more, his tongue gliding against hers, deep into her mouth as if claiming her as his own; Nyx only opened herself wider to it, to him. With every passing day, she loved him more; and while she didn’t know where the future might lead, she knew one thing. They had one another. Here, now, and for all the tomorrows she could claw from the grip of fate and the Reapers.

Read on AO3

[datawyrms]

Dannymay2020 Day 31: Free Day (ghost sword fight lets go)

It was for science, a good cause. His life would be so much better if he didn’t have to hear his parents gleefully discuss ripping apart some mindless ectoplasmic scum molecule by molecule. Right now though, he was remembering the other reason he flinched in horror when having to take his parents anywhere. Complete embarrassment. One extra downside to ghost powers: knowing you actually can just have the ground swallow you up in shame, but knowing you really, really shouldn’t. When your dad is sitting with sodas strapped to his head and waving a foam finger with your friend’s name on it, it got very tempting.

He’d almost prefer dealing with an ecto gun. “Dad, you’re actually going to pay attention, right?”

“Course I will Danny-boy! That goth friend of yours will kick that ghost right back to its own dimension, and I’ll be watching.”

The half ghost groaned, crossing his arms. “Dad.”

“And totally see if it’s actually a fight with rules. I did listen, son! It’s just good to see young people taking up ghost hunting!”

“This isn’t ghost hunting!”

“Right. Your friend is just going to clobber a ghost with a sword. For Science!”

Well he wasn’t wrong exactly, but it wasn’t helping him not regret every second of this stupid plan. “It’s more Sam’s doing the ghost a favour, and Sam’s doing me a favour by letting us watch. Sooo don’t go calling the ghost scum or anything. Please.”

“Hmmhm. I did read your notes son. You think I’d come with no weapons if I thought your observations were shoddy?” he clapped the boy on the back, who had to struggle to not fall over. “Still gotta root for your friend kiddo!”

Yes. Yes he did, actually. Yet asking his dad to maybe be a little less enthusiastic was like asking the sun to maybe be a little less bright. Pointless, and possibly amusing to anyone overhearing you. “She manages without a cheering section most of the time,” he felt the need to point out before heading down the hill to check in with Sam.

“I don’t know what I expected. Not that, that’s for sure.”

“Tell me about it. I didn’t think he’d do anything but scowl from the hill because he’s worried about a dastardly ghost. Sorry.” he rubbed the back of his neck, eyes flicking between his friend and the bright orange blight on the hillside.

“Nah. Arlas will probably get a kick out of it anyway, she likes having an audience,” Sam shrugged, fiddling with the lightweight wooden sword. “I have a few new tricks. Who knew Star of all people would like fencing?”

“Did she swear you to secrecy?”

“Bought my silence by being a pretty good practice partner,” her grin faded somewhat “Guess I’ve been buying into their ‘popular’ shtick too. She’s not that bad.”

“Then I’ll pretend you didn’t tell me. You don’t think she’ll try and talk to Dad, right? That could get ugly real quick.”

“She might. She knows to keep the whole met in the ghost zone thing quiet, but I can’t promise much else,”

“Well I can’t promise he won’t call her putrid protoplasm so we’re totally doomed.”

“Maybe we can make it sound like good natured ribbing?”

“With what ribs?” Danny smirked in spite of himself

“Oh shut up you. Go worry about not turning invisible trying to hide from your dad or something. I’ve got this.”

He nodded, backing off to head back to his expected spot. He wasn’t meant to know the ghost well, after all. He did notice the ghost showing up before anyone else, but forced himself to act oblivious.

“Oh, there’s the spook! You mentioned the heavy leg armor, these ones can’t do the leg shapeshifting thing, right?”

Danny blinked. He’d actually read and paid attention to all of it? “Yeah, that’s right. It can be pretty heavy since they don’t have to walk much with the whole flying thing, apparently.” his eyes flicked to his Dad’s face, trying to figure out how the man felt about Sam and this ghost greeting one another in friendly terms. He didn’t look angry, so maybe it was a good sign?

“First to three hits is what you said, right?”

Man this felt weird. Answering things about ghosts without constantly worrying he’d be called a ghost for it. “Sam’s pretty sure five would take too long. Either because she gets tired out, or a ghost hunter barging in.” Something he had almost done three times, but he couldn’t mention that bit.

Jack kept his eyes fixed on the two, leaning forward even as he slurped from the ridiculous soda contraption. “That’s how she wins, right son?” he pointed as Sam blocked a swing and danced backwards, forcing the knight to give chase. “She outruns em and can go for smaller openings.”

“How did yo-yeah. That’s usually how, since she can’t just fly after her…” How could he pick up on that and not his son literally falling through things for a month?

Arlas looked as if she might have caught on to Sam’s usual plan as well, backing off instead of pursuing after another failed clash. He honestly had zero idea what to do in that situation that wasn’t ‘shoot ecto blast’, but his friend seemed to have a decent idea, feigning a left swing before jabbing forward at a much greater speed.

“Ha! Lookit that, already winning!”

“You’ll distract her if you cheer louder.”

“Nah, your little friends are tough!”

He did seem to be right, the boisterous cheering when Sam had the upper hand not earning as much as a glance from the fight. Sam did shoot Danny a look at the boo his Dad made when Arlas managed to turn a block into a strike Sam couldn’t defend against in time, and he could only shrug. Hopefully the knight wasn’t too annoyed at the blatant favoritism. Or maybe she expected it, being a visitor and all.

Still, making it through the combat without having to stop his Dad from trying to capture or hurt the ghost was pretty good. Even if it was still really weird to have him just watch. He personally didn’t even need to watch the fight, watching Jack was more than enough indication on how things were going. Okay, maybe he was a bit paranoid, watching just in case he had to do some split second overshadowing. Moreso now that the ghost apparently wanted to say hello to the watching human, to his complete dismay.

“Oh, so it is a family thing! What interesting armor.” Arlas said, looking at the bright orange jumpsuit. 

Jack did seem a little surprised at the possible complement, hiding it with a nod. “Always need to be prepared!”

Danny manared to peek out from behind his fingers. Dad hadn’t threatened her. That was progress. That was good! Him possibly wondering why she thought jumpsuits were a family thing was not good! Sam’s advice of remembering not to turn invisible suddenly seemed very useful.

“Still I hope it was a good show. Sir Manson is still a bit too fast for me, but I’ll figure out a way around that soon, you’ll see.”

“You could just lose the armor, you’re way better at planning than I am.” Sam pointed out, earning a laugh from the ghost.

“If I plan to work in it, I must be able to beat you in it! The extra preparation can only be a good thing. That, and I can use the same trick on the others if they get overconfident.”

“So you consider being a knight as a job? You could do something else if you got bored of the sword swinging gig?” Jack asked, hand on his chin as he watched the floating knight.

“Of course! There are plenty of things to do back home, but who wouldn’t want to help protect the Queen? It’s not like I cannot retire when I no longer wish to do it.” she paused, looking up at the sky as if searching for an example. “I suppose you do not really have proper communities of ghosts over here, just the stronger sorts or the occasional animal?”

“Nope. We just get the town attacking beasties”

“Ah, well who doesn’t? Troublemakers will be troublemakers.” she shrugged easily, apparently not considering herself a ‘beastie’.

Jack considered the answer, the loud slurping sound rather at odds with the pensive look on his face. Surely he didn’t think this ghost would make up an entire fake backstory, or be perfectly fine with losing to a human in a fair fight while being ‘mindless’. “So the Fentons are known over in your world then?”

“Well I wouldn’t say unknown. The outfits are pretty memorable! Yours more than your son’s. He is your son, I think. That’s the right term?”

Of course she had to bring up his jumpsuit. That he never wore. Because it was on his ghost form. Sam’s wince in sympathy did not help.

“See Danno, even the ghosts think you need more colour! Even Jazz’s is blue, maybe we should get you an orange one.”

“Maybe. Mine’s fine, thanks.” he managed to speak, hoping he didn’t sound too much like he’d been internally choking.

Sam took up damage control before her friend managed to be more suspicious than a wolf in a sheep pen. “Well, I’ve got stuff to do, and Arlas does too. See ya Mr. Fenton.”

The ghost did seem a little put out to not continue to chat, but took Sam’s lead, turning invisible before making her way back home.

“Not even going to try and scare anyone while she’s here huh? Interesting.” Jack commented. “Certainly a lot to think about kiddo! Our little researcher,” he ruffled Danny’s hair, earning a grunt from his son. “You think you might be able to arrange talking to some of these other ‘non-violent’ ghosts?”

“Oh. Yeah. Probably? Not right away, but sure.”

“Great! I want to see for myself if the stories line up. If they do, then we’ll need to figure out why only the blobs and animals showed up before the portal.” he got to his feet, apparently wanting to go write things down in the lab right away.

“Because they were the only ones dumb enough to leave the ghost zone without a portal to go home with.” Danny muttered “The smart ones wouldn’t risk it,”

“Right, you scrawled that on the back of your folder. Which ghost told you that again?”

In truth? Frostbite. Yet he didn’t have a way to explain that. “Phantom.”

“Well you can’t use yourself as a primary source son, that’d be considered speculation.”

Danny could only stare. Whoops.

[mmmatchasay]

one step ahead

this was requested by @lesbian-kiwi a while back (sometime last year) but I never got around to posting it. I’m not too sure how I feel about this but I rewrote this twice and I still feel dissatisfied with how this turned out to be. I hope everyone enjoys this regardless the mistakes and my dissatisfaction. 

words: 1513 words

pairing: spencer reid x reader

summary: you thought you were sly but spencer proves he is one step ahead of you.

You saunter casually in to the pantry, holding your mug like it was the only thing that kept you grounded (in truth, it is the only thing that kept you from hightailing it back to your desk). “Hi, Spence.” You greet the Doctor, whom you had actually seen walking in to the pantry and mainly the reason why you have found yourself here in the pantry.

Spencer looks up from his own mug and when his eyes land on you, he gives you a smile. A smile that leaves your heart racing, knees shaking, and you curse him (half-heartedly, of course) for having such a beautiful smile that makes you incredibly soft and mushy. “Hi, Y/N. Getting a refill?” He motions to your mug and you nod your head. Spencer makes some space for you to stand beside him and you swallow the lump in your throat as you took the space beside him.

“My mum sent over some Green Tea she got when she went to Japan for a vacation so I figured I should try it out. Mum’s very picky with her tea so I think she must have really liked this.” You tell him as you showed him the green tea bag you have in your mug. Spencer leans over slightly to look and half of you wanted to flinch while the other half simply wanted to lean in – you can smell his cologne and it sends shiver down your spine.

Spencer nods his head, leaning back. “Green tea is loaded with antioxidants and nutrients that have powerful effects on the body and it is also about 30 percent polyphenols by weight, including large amounts of a catechin called EGCG and this substance can reduce the formation of free radicals in the body, protecting cells and molecules from damage. Drinking three to five cups of green tea per day seems to be optimal to reap the most health benefits…” Spencer trails off when he notices the look of awe (and is that admiration he sees?) on your face and suddenly he feels shy. He clears his throat and looks at his own steaming mug.

Snapping out of your adoration for the Doctor beside you, you cannot help but let the smile on your face grow. “I didn’t know any of those so thank you for sharing, Spence.” You point out and when he looks at you shyly from the corner of his eyes, you almost poured hot water on your hand instead of your mug, but you didn’t. So, you had saved yourself from the embarrassment. “So.”

Spencer looks at you curiously.

You clear your throat. “I heard Emily couldn’t make it for the movie thing the two of you have planned.” To be honest, you only heard about this from Garcia because she would not stop talking about how sad Spencer had looked when Emily had to cancel due to her Ambassador Prentiss flying in.

“Yes, we were supposed to be watching this Russian movie I came across and thought we would enjoy.” Spencer informs you. He had really been excited to watch Ballad of A Solider and since the film festival is conveniently showing the 1959 movie, Spencer had wanted to watch it with Emily seeing as she also enjoyed watching movies (regardless of the language). “According to the synopsis, a young Russian solider earned a medal but asked to see his mother instead and it is supposed to recount his journey of various kinds of love during wartime.”

You nod your head, hanging on to every word Spencer had just said. To be honest, you are probably going to regret this sometime in the future but since the opportunity is presenting itself, you swallowed your pride and turn to look at him. “Do you mind if I join you instead? I know I am no Emily, but I happen to be free.”

Spencer’s eyes lit up. “Really, Y/N?” A smile appears on Spencer’s face when you nod your head to his question. “That’s really great! I was really looking forward to watching the movie ever since I came across the flyer for the Russian Film Festival. As far as I know, we don’t have a case tomorrow so, is it too soon if we go right after work?”

Your heart races against your chest and you nod your head dumbly. You hadn’t exactly expected Spencer to ask you so soon – then again, you reckon he must have been really excited to watch the movie. “Sure, that’s fine with me too.”

Spencer beams at you. “Looking forward to it.”

Spencer still has a smile on his face as the two of you walk out of the outdoor theatre – the night was really nice, not too humid nor too dry. It was just perfect, surprisingly. He looks at you and the smile on his face widens even more. “Thank you for coming with me, Y/N.” He informs you shyly and you give him a smile that manages to steal his breath away. You aren’t privy to this information, but Spencer has found himself developing feelings for you for a while now. If Spencer had to place a time, his attraction to you had probably started when you actually listened to him when he began rambling away about facts and genuinely looked like you were interested in what he is talking about. When he started hanging out with you outside of the office, Spencer had been elated to find out that you are such a fun person to be around with. With your cheery disposition and your attitude towards life in general, Spencer finds himself always looking forward to whenever the two of you can exchange stories or facts about this and that.

You, on the other hand, are starting to feel slightly guilty because not only had Spencer bought the popcorn and drinks for the movie, he had also paid for your ticket. The two of you are currently walking towards the car park which was a block or so away from where the film festival is happening and despite not understanding an ounce of Russian, you had actually enjoyed the movie (you made up dialogues in your mind in place of what was actually said). “It was nothing, Spencer. Thank you for agreeing to bring me along.” You tell him, seeing your cute car in a distance.

Spencer smiles. “I enjoy spending time with you, Y/N.” He really does; Spencer swallows the lump in his throat before he calls out your name, stopping you from heading towards your car. You raise an eyebrow at Spencer. “Actually, there is something I would like to tell you.”

You slowly turn to face him.

“Actually… I had been too afraid to ask you out so Emily and I came up with this elaborate idea of Emily not being able to come with me to this festival and of course, Penelope, the romantic that she is, wanted in on our plan and well, you see, I just…” Spencer trails off slightly, gauging your expression. To his surprise, you are staring at him in shock, but Spencer can also see the blush starting to creep over your cheeks. “I like you, Y/N. More than just a friend that is, if you needed any more clarification.”

You must have entered twilight zone somewhere in between the outdoor theater and on the way to the parking lot because you definitely did not see this coming! You always had an indication that Spencer might share the same feelings as you however you didn’t want to be too full of yourself and assume things – only to end up in disappointment so you tried your hardest to just play it cool. Now, hearing all of this from Spencer’s very own mouth, you are convinced that your face almost resembles a tomato.

But before Spencer could even continue talking, you cut him off. “I have a confession to make as well.” You rub the back of your neck sheepishly and Spencer looks taken aback by what you had just said before he looks slightly wary and apprehensive. “It’s nothing bad!” You quickly rectify but Spencer still looks wary. So, you take a deep breath and exhale. “I, uh, actually I don’t understand Russian at all. Not an ounce, nope.” You shake your head but when you see Spencer about to open his mouth, you lift up your hand to stop him. “I have a massive crush on you, Spencer and I just didn’t want to ruin our friendship because what if you hadn’t liked me back?”

Spencer furrows his eyebrows before he shakes his head. “No wonder. There was a point during the movie when I turned to look at you and you looked completely lost, Y/N. You should have told me you didn’t know Russian – there was also a showing with subtitles.” Spencer informs you but then he clears his throat. “So, can I walk you to your car?”

You blink a couple of times and nod your head, a smile appearing on your face. “Of course, Spencer.”

[kainna15]

Lend Me Your Sanity

https://www.fanfiction.net/~kainna15

Chapter 4

Jasper waited eagerly in Chemistry Lab for Scarlett, unsettled by how long it was taking her. Alice had promised him she would deliver him his mate on time to their last class together. Math was a blissful blur to him, watching Scarlett out of the corner of his eyes taking notes and doing classwork was a mundane joy he was glad to experience. She wasn’t lying when she said she found math fun, she seemed enthralled in her work and from what he could tell she seemed to excel in it. All too soon calculus ended and he found Alice whisking away Scarlett to gym and promising to walk her to Chemistry afterwards as well. He had to admit to himself, he was childishly mad that she stole his time with Scarlett. It should be him walking her to class after all. Now he was sat at his chemistry table, staring at the door in hopes of catching sight of auburn hair. Almost as if God heard him, he saw Scarlett being ushered into the classroom with Emmett not to gently pushing her while Alice giggled at the doorway at their antics.

Jasper bristled at the sight of another male touching her, his instincts screamed at him to show the other male who exactly the alpha was. With slow breathes he managed to calm himself down, it was only Emmett and he was pushing her to his table anyways.

“Go sit next to Jasper, Ms. Faye doesn’t care about the seating arrangement.” He heard Emmett whisper to Scarlett as she hesitated in coming over to him. Jasper felt her anxiety spike up although she calmly took the seat next to him and playfully glared at Emmett as he rushed out of the classroom.

“You know, he’s right.” Jasper addressed Scarlett as she started to slowly pull out her notebook and pen. Jasper caught sight of her beautiful eyes watching him and he quickly continued with what he was saying. “We can sit wherever we want, even on lab days.” He smiled at her as if he were telling her a secret. “She doesn’t really care about anything.” He whispered as the teacher he was speaking about walked into the classroom.

“Really?” Scarlett replied before taking a careful look at him. “I actually wasn’t sure if you would want me to sit by you.” She admitted softly, breaking eye contact with him quickly as Ms. Faye started speaking.

“Scarlett welcome to Forks! I hope you enjoy your senior year here.” Ms. Faye’s greeting was short and sweet and all Scarlett did was reply politely before class continued.

“Why would I mind if you sat next to me?” Jasper asked in a hushed tone as Ms. Faye started to draw molecules on the board. Scarlett, who could list endless reasons why Jasper wouldn’t want to sit next to her, simply shrugged her shoulders and bit her lip. “You can sit next to me whenever you want, I won’t mind.” Jasper whispered this last comment before returning his attention back to the teacher. He could continue talking but figured getting her in trouble the first day might not be the best choice, they did sit in the front row after all. Jasper was delighted in feeling her emotions take a positive turn. A glance out of the corner of his eye showed a shy yet pleased smile on her lips and his ego swelled in knowing he caused that. Taking an unnecessary deep breath -fuck she smelled good- and swallowing the venom that pooled in his mouth because of it, he settled in his seat at an angle that would provide him with view of her and the board.

He watched Scarlett throughout class while he half-assed taking notes, only to make it seem as if he were actually paying attention. He watched as she drew molecules, much better than Ms. Faye was doing, and highlighted key words with multiple colors so by the time class ended, her notes looked more like a study guide than class notes. Scarlett noticed Jasper staring at her notes and a sheepish smile came to her lips while she tucked them away in her bag.

“Chemistry is my worst subject, if I don’t study hard I’ll fail.” Scarlett’s admittance brought back memories of New Jersey, sitting in her room for hours alone with only her homework for company. She honestly wasn’t that smart, sure certain subjects she excelled in naturally; like Math, but she received good grades from the rest of her classes simply from studying. Even French, although fluent now in it, she had to practice speaking for hours to perfect the accent. She wasn’t smart, she was trained. What else could she have done to entertain herself back home when her friends were all scared away by her mother?

“I could always tutor you if you need it.” Jasper hurried out the question, desperate to have some time with her after school hours. Scarlett hesitated, she was used to saying no. No you can’t come over, my mom doesn’t want anybody over. No, I can’t stay after school I have to be home. No, I can’t go out to eat, my mother won’t let me. But, her mother wasn’t here anymore.

“Sure, I’ll let you know when I’m panicking about my grade.” Scarlett joked instead, hoping her hesitation wasn’t heard in her voice. She tried to control the blush on her checks, hoping that she would eventually stop blushing everytime this handsome boy asked her something.

“Well, let me know.” Although the blush on her face appeased his masculine pride, he still hoped she would agree soon. He had no choice but to settle with her answer and instead of letting the disappointment take over, grabbed her bag from the floor and slung it over his shoulder.

“I’ll walk you to your locker.” He instead insisted and lead her out of the classroom, his hand hovering over the small of her back. Jasper would soon prove to her how stubborn he could be about carrying her bag and she was left walking next to him, awkwardly silent as she searched for something to say. Glances every so often at each other soon turned into a accidental eye contact. Blushing from being caught, Scarlett cleared her throat in search of something to say. Jasper’s triumphant smirk was lost to her as she looked anywhere but at him.

“Are you happy to be back?” Jasper spoke instead and watched curiously as her beautiful eyes turned to up in thought.

“I always knew-“ She began softly as she searched for the right words. “That a place didn’t really matter to me, it’s who I’m with. So yes, I am

happy being back here with my father again. But honestly, Forks is just the background to me.” Scarlett finished with a cheeky smile. Jasper felt warm when she spoke, the idea that she valued people over anything else impressed him and left him hoping that someday she would be able to feel that way about him.

“Well I’m glad you’re happy to be here at least. Forks is a little more boring than you would think.” Scarlett reached her locker then, searching in her pocket for the slip of paper containing her combination. Finding it, she put in the combination, ignorant to Jasper’s stare as he quickly remembered it for future reference. He handed over her bag with a charming smile that made her heart stutter and face ignite. Jasper’s grin widened, his eyes never strayed from her face as she exchanged her books and slammed her locker shut.

Jasper then walked her outside to the student parking lot, all the while they stayed at an awkward silence. Jasper; who was too busy staring at the poor girl, didn't realize her discomfort. His eyes studied her every movement and his mind was lost in thought as he watched her run her hand through her hair nervously.

“Um-Thanks for walking me.” Scarlett managed to finally say. Jasper broke out of his thoughts, the grin that seemed to play on his face all day grew wide.

“My pleasure.” His southern twang came out making Scarlett’s heart race with affection.

“Scarlett!” A familiar voice called her from the parking lot. Jasper and Scarlett’s head snapped up at the call, Jasper more so since another male was calling her.

“Dad!” Scarlett exclaimed once she saw her father waving her down a few cars over. Some of the other students snickered at the scene, finding it embarrassing that the new girl’s father came to pick her up from school. Yet, for the first time in a while Scarlett didn’t care. She was delighted that her father surprised her and Jasper was simply happy her mood took a turn.

“I got to go, but I’ll see you tomorrow.” Scarlett spoke quickly to Jasper, placing her hand lightly on his forearm and sending him an apologetic smile. Jasper could only nod. The feeling of her warm hand touching him sent his senses into overdrive, her scent invaded him again and it took all his power not to pull her to him and never let go. All too quickly her hand was gone and so was she, running off to the only other male that Jasper would ever be comfortable with taking her attention.

“See you tomorrow.” He whispered, watching as she unabashedly jumped into her father’s arms for a quick hug. They spoke quickly about getting a bite to eat before getting into their separate cars and leaving. Jasper stood where she left him, his forearm still burning from her touch.

[a-black-pegasus]

Growing Pains

Part 1

Peter grows! And all that follows afterwards.

________

"Peter! Oh my god! Are you ok?!"

Tony Stark and Peter Parker were in the lab, working on a new spider web fluid, one that could swell to become stronger and more grippy. In the process of making it an explosion had happened and Peter was caught in the middle of it.

He was thrown back, the webbing exploding all over him. Thrown to the floor he slid across the room till he hit the wall, leaving him in a crumpled heap.

Tony rushed over, panick filling his veins as he pulled the webbs off of Peter.

"Peter, Peter oh my god! Are you ok?" He gasoed as Peter stirred awake. Peter groaned and grabbed his head.

"...Oooowwww...." Moaning he sat up briefly, before slumping back down. Tony caught his head before it hit the floor.

"Oh god."

Stark immediately rushed peter to the emergency room, where they found nothing wrong to Stark's immense relief. When peter woke up he was released.

But the chaos had only just begun.

At first Peter didn't take much notice when his jeans felt to tight, and when his shirts seemed small. His aunt had brushed it off as a growth spurt and said they would go shopping later.

But then three days later, when stark had finnally let him come back to the lab—

"Where you always this tall?" Stark chuckled, as he eyed Peter, who came up to his nose.

"huh? Oh." Peter sighed. "Aunt may says I'm going through another growth spurt." He replied.

Stark pursed his lips. "Really? Well ok, it's just... Never mind."

However they couldn't ignore it the next day, when peter was as tall as stark.

"Ok something is going on, are you wearing lifts in your shoes or,....where are your shoes?" He said gesturing to Peter's feet.

"I am wearing shoes! Flip flops count as shoes!"

Stark shook his head. "Ah no they don't. Not in a chemical filled lab. Where are your normal shoes?" As he looked at Peter he could see that his clothes seemed short on him. "Your clothes are way too short, and are you as tall as me?"

Peter shrugged nervously. "Growth..spurt?"

"Well this is one hel..lllo of a growth spurt." He waved off Peter's snickers.

"Mr. Stark you can say hell I'm not a twelve year old."

Tony faked gasped placing a hand over his mouth. "Peter! No cursing! And you are a twelve year old. Come on," he waved him forward. "I'm buying you new clothes— and no you can't refuse! I can't take you seriously like this."

"Mr. Stark—"

"No, I'm not listening to you, laalalala..." He smirked, and headed for the elevator, an embarrassed Peter following behind.

They came back at full of clothes and then some. Peter kept thanking Mr. Stark over and over again.

"Forget about it kid, it's no problem. Go change and we can get back to work."

The new clothes barely half a week, when peter returned three days later even taller, a full foot over Stark.

"Somethings up." Peter and his aunt May sat on a couch in Stark's living room. Pepper and tony faced them on the other couch. "Peter keeps growing, and I think I know why." Tapping the coffee table between the couches, the glass surface projected a blue screen filled with dna molecules.

"When I was working...and Peter was helping me through his internship." He coughed. "There was a small incident, that didn't hurt Peter at all because he's a man and can handle tough work right Peter?" He rambled nervously, shooting him a look. Peter, nodded.

"Mr. Stark....she knows." His eyes flitted to his side where aunt May sat.

Pepper held her forehead and sighed.

"You need to work on your subtlety." May rolled her eyes. "What's wrong with Peter?"

Tony snorted. "Well to put it simply, he's growing... At a very increased speed." He swiped his hand across the screen. "And it's getting faster. By my calculations if he keeps growing, he's gonna need to move out of the city." The screen showed a picture if the size ratio compared to a bus. If Peter reached the size shown, he could have used the bus as a bench.

"And I don't know when it will stop. But I'm working on something, and I will cover any and all expenses he needs, materials for clothes, food, shelter...." He sighed. "Any questions?"

"I have one." Aunt may raised her hand. "What were you two working on when it happened?"

Tony quickly swooped down at the question. "Um that's classified, and Peter is under contract, so don't go trying to dig answers out of him.......Even if you already know." He clapped his hands together. "I think what we really need to focus on is where are we going to put Peter once he gets this size?"

Pepper stood as Tony sat, and swiped up on her tablet, an image popped up to the monitor. "We are modifing a recent commissioned storehouse. It should be sutible to live in, in three to four weeks."

"Which should be a full week before Peter's bigger than a bus!" Tony added swiftly, ignoring the glare from both Pepper and Aunt May.

"I also would like Peter to stay here for now, so that we can work on making a cure for him." He turned to May. "You're welcome to stay here with him if you like, we have plenty guest suites—"

Aunt may held a hand up. "I can't, I have a job that we'll still need when peter gets better." She shot a look to tony. "He will be getting better, yes?"

Stark held his hands up. "Of course. We have the best doctors and scientist I know on the case!"

What he failed to mention was that the doctors were from Shield, and the scientist was Bruce banner.

"This is crazy tony." His shook his head. "I mean, this is why we use safety guidelines!"

Stark wanted to roll his eyes. "This coming from the Jolly green giant."

"That happened despite saftey procedures!" He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "How long do we have?"

"....Four weeks."

"Four Weeks?!" Bruce echoed.

Tony made a face as if to say "What do you want me to do about it?"

Bruce groaned and started studying Peter's most recent blood tests.

A week passed, and Peter was banging his head on every doorway.

"Hi Mr. Bann-Ow!" He had tried to say hi to the scientist at the kitchen table.

Bruce couldn't help but chuckle, that had to be the fourth time he seen Peter hit his head this weekend! "Hello Peter, how are you feeling?"

Peter rubbed his head, a slightly embarrassed smile on his face. "Good, I'm doing good!" He gave a small laugh. "I'm kinda hiding from the doctors." He admitted guilty.

Bruce frowned slightly. "Peter, they're here to help you."

"I know.... but.." he fidgeted nervously, sitting on the floor instead of the chair. "They're kinda.... Overwhelming."

"Overwhelming huh?" Bruce set his cup aside. "If me, or stark were with you would you feel better?" He offered.

Peter looked up a tad hopefully. "...yes— but I don't want to bug you."

Bruce stood and took his cup to the sink. "I don't mind, and I'm sure tony doesn't either." He stopped short. "Wait... I thought tony already sat with you when you had appointments?"

Peter bit his lip. "Well... sometimes. He did all the time, but I think he gets busy. Aunt May comes over as much as she can, but she has work to so..."

That didn't sound right to Bruce. Tony would have quit his job if it meant Peter would be ok.

"Well, I'm here, so let's go. We'll get this over with quickly ok?" He patted Peter's shoulder.

Peter smiled a bit. "Ok, thank you Mr. Banner."

________________________________

Thanks for reading!

As always feel free to leave a writing prompt and I'll do my best!

@nightmarejasmine @tiefling-trickery @sammie-skele-turtle @gatlily @misfitsgalaxygt

[coffeeshopreads]

Chapter Reveal for The Unrequited

Title: The Unrequited

Author: Saffron A. Kent

Genre: Contemporary/Erotic Romance Cover Design: Najla Qamber Designs

Release Date: July 13, 2017

Blurb

Layla Robinson is not crazy. She is suffering from unrequited love. But it’s time to move on. No more stalking, no more obsessive calling.

What she needs is a distraction. The blue-eyed guy she keeps seeing around campus could be a great one—only he is the new poetry professor—the married poetry professor.

Thomas Abrams is a stereotypical artist—rude, arrogant, and broody—but his glares and taunts don’t scare Layla. She might be bad at poetry, but she is good at reading between the lines. Beneath his prickly façade, Thomas is lonely, and Layla wants to know why. Obsessively.

Sometimes you do get what you want. Sometimes you end up in the storage room of a bar with your professor and you kiss him. Sometimes he kisses you back like the world is ending and he will never get to kiss you again. He kisses you until you forget the years of unrequited love; you forget all the rules, and you dare to reach for something that is not yours.

NOTE: Please be aware that this book deals with sensitive topics like cheating and death. 18+ Only.

ADD TO GOODREADS

Check out Saffron's website - it has been updated and specifically made for THE UNREQUITED

Pre-order Links

99c for a limited time

AMAZON US / UK / CA / AU

Thomas & Layla's First Kiss

It’s Saturday and I’m at The Alchemy with Emma, Dylan, and Matt. We find a table in the middle of the room and Emma thumps the big bag of goodies down on it. It’s prompt night for the Labyrinth and Emma is in charge of producing the prompts.

“Explain to me one more time why you need this giant-ass bag again?” Matt says, taking off his coat and hanging it on the chair as he takes a seat.

Dylan gives him a disdainful look. “She’s got her prompts in it, dumbass.”

Emma smiles in pleasure, her eyes on the bag as she looks for something. It’s adorable how shy she is in front of him when she’s normally so self-assured. Dylan and Emma have gone on a few dates this week. Turns out, Dylan loved the tangerine. I knew it.

“And why can’t you show them a picture or something on your phone?” He bumps his shoulder with mine. “Back me up here, Layla. This freaking bag is a monstrosity.”

“I don’t have a problem with it, actually,” I say. “It’s kind of fun to look at something while writing about it.”

When Emma told me about the Labyrinth’s prompt night, my first reaction was panic. I didn’t think I could be a part of it. I wasn’t prepared. I haven’t even read all the books I own.

Reading has become a vital part of my life, now. In the past week, I’ve only roamed on the street once. I haven’t been to Thomas’ house at all. I stay up late reading. There’s so much to discover, and I’ve been living inside this fog for so long. I feel like time is running out on me. I’ll probably die before reading all the books out there.

I try to calm myself. I’m here to be a part of something greater than me—art—and I don’t have to be perfect. The only thing I should be worried about is seeing Thomas.

It’s been six days since I cried in front of him, told him my ugly love story, and sort of licked his hand, trying to taste him. Since then I’ve seen him all around campus, at Crème and Beans with Nicky, in the corridors at the Labyrinth when Emma dragged me to a play reading. I’ve even seen him in the park, at the bench, the one time I went out at night. He was smoking and battling with himself, as usual, and I was hiding behind the tree. 

It’s like he’s everywhere. My secret keeper. The one person who knows what I did.

And he is disgusted by me. He never looks at me. To him, I’m invisible. Somehow, this hurts even more because deep down I thought he could relate to me, but he doesn’t.

I really am a freak of nature.

The front door of the bar opens and in strides Sarah Turner, followed by Professor Masters and Thomas. The snowflakes swirl behind his back as he enters and the door swings shut.

“Hello children,” Professor Masters greets us in a jovial voice as he saunters forward. There is a chorus of chuckles and Hi Professor around the room.

Without paying attention to anyone, Thomas breaks off from the trio and heads for the bar. Sarah throws him an annoyed look but Professor Masters steers her toward their destination.

Thomas orders a drink and sits on the barstool, his long legs straddling the small seat. He takes off his jacket, revealing a plain grey t-shirt that stretches across his shoulders and biceps. His jean-covered thighs bulge as he bounces his right leg with impatience.

The bartender sets down a chocolate martini in front of him and I look away, embarrassed. His weakness for chocolate awakens something raw and melty inside my stomach. I haven’t thought about what I’ll do come Monday. Will I go back to class? Will I hide and never show my face again?

Emma gets up from beside me, greets the room, and explains the instructions. She digs inside her bag and fishes something out. “So the first prompt is this bottle of hot sauce. You have to write a short poem, no more than twenty lines, with whatever comes to mind when you see a red bottle with H.O.T. written on it. I’m going to pass this around for a bit so you guys can look at it.”

My first thought is that I hate hot sauce. I’m more of a sweet-loving person. In fact, I’m the only sweet-loving person in my family or the families I’ve had over the years. My mom, Caleb, my dad, Caleb’s dad, even Henry—they all shy away from sweet things.

The thought of Caleb makes me aware of the phone in my jacket pocket. Since those missed calls at Crème and Beans, he’s called several times, but I haven’t picked up. I was hoping he’d leave a message or something so I’d know what it’s about, but he hasn’t.

Why does he keep calling me? As impulsive as I am, a strange fear is keeping me from taking his call.

Emma bumps my elbow and tells me to get writing.

Right, hot sauce. I nibble at my pen, trying to think…no, trying to feel. How does hot sauce make me feel? H.O.T. Feel. Feel.

I close my eyes and the first thing I see is Thomas’ face. His beautiful, intense gaze. How every molecule of my body, every inch of my flesh burns when he is near. How he has the power to change the weather, cold to hot.

Gasping, my eyes whip open. Thomas Abrams is a fire-breather. He breathes flames and lust, makes me forget everything and say yes. Yes to obsession. Yes to stalking. Yes to insanity. Yes to licking.

With shaking hands, I begin to write and capture him in words. The pen moves and the words flow out. They keep flowing without my knowledge. All I can feel is the heat seesawing through my body.

Next thing I know I’m jolted by Emma’s clap and shrill voice. “All right guys, it’s time to stop. Put down your pens.”

Murmurs escalate and the room breaks out in conversation, as Emma asks someone to volunteer their poem first. With flushed cheeks, I pocket my small notebook. While the entire room is busy, I get up and shuffle into the hallway in the back. I need to get to the ladies’ room and calm myself down.

I rub my arms at the unexpected chill in the dank hallway and take a deep breath. My legs can barely support themselves. Is this how poets feel when they put feelings into words? Is this how Thomas feels? It’s like bleeding. It’s like running for miles and running out of breath.

Before I can reach my destination, I’m being hauled into a dark, tiny room. I don’t even have time to squeal before the flimsy wooden door is shut, and I’m surrounded by a very familiar heat.

It’s Thomas.

He has me trapped inside what looks to be a storage room, his hand banded around my elbow, pushing me back against the dank wall.

“T-Thomas.” I’m panting. “What… What’s happening? What’re you doing?”

His chiseled face is a study of thick shadows and thin slices of light under the flickering yellow bulb. The only bright spots on his features are those fire-starting eyes of his. I can smell the delicious smoke rising from my body, can feel the sting.

Now that the initial shock is gone, my body sags, relieved to be the center of his attention after days. He sees us. There are things to worry about, I know that, but I can’t muster the energy to.

“Thomas?” I whisper when it’s clear he won’t say anything. “Wh-What are you doing?”

His breaths are choppy, short jabs of air inhaled and exhaled as he stares at every inch of my face. “Do you still love him?”

“What?”

“Do you still love that guy?”

“I… Yes.”

“How much?”

My breaths match his, succinct and sharp. I study him, this man in front of me. There’s a hint of vulnerability to him. His usually cool persona is frayed. Is it because I told him my story? Maybe he relates to me after all.

“Thomas, what’s going on?”

“How much do you love him, Layla? Do you love him so much that you hate yourself? That you can’t stand your own sight? Do you constantly think about how to fix it? How to make it better? How to be better?”

He isn’t merely frayed—he’s coming apart. Naked agony dances on his features. It’s too bright and glaring. It’s too similar to mine, but I’m not worried about that right now. I’m worried about him.

“Yes,” I whisper. I lift my hand and press it to his stubbled face. His cheekbone is arched and high, seemingly made of granite as it pulses beneath my palm. “But I’m so tired of it,” I admit, and his eyes flare. Fire-breathing eyes. I wonder why I didn’t notice it before. It’s so obvious now. They never fail to start a fire in my soul.

He crowds me against the wall, as if sinking his hard body into mine, but there isn’t any touch involved. His frame sort of hovers over me, heating me up, jumpstarting my nerves. I’m a mesh of live wires, firing lust and adrenaline. I’m sticky as sugar and drunk as whiskey.

Thomas arranges his body and places both his palms on the wall, caging me in. The vein on his bicep becomes taut, a purple string tugging on my senses.

I watch him watch my parted lips, and suddenly, it’s the only piece of my body I can feel. My mouth, throbbing, puffy, swollen with the need.

“Me too,” he whispers, almost to himself.

I wasn’t meant to hear it, but I did. Again, I’m hit by a storm of desire to kiss him better. It’s a tornado, an avalanche in my body, and in one breathless moment, I decide to go for it. It’s okay. I can take the blame for it later.

I break the rules and reach up and kiss him. A feathery peck on his plump lips, it’s a kiss of solidarity, a kiss that intends to tell him I understand—but one isn’t enough. It only manages to ratchet up my lust. So I give him another, this time on the corner of his mouth, and then another one on his jaw.

It’s not enough, these small, barely-there touches. I want more, but I won’t take it. I’ll be good; I’ll only give.

Abruptly, he fists my curls and stops me. I look at him fearfully, ready to apologize—not for the kiss, but for being the kisser. His gaze reflects passion, stark, raving need, and I shiver, despite wearing layers and sweating with his heat.

“Are you trying to kiss me, Layla?” he rasps, flexing his fingers on my makeshift ponytail.

He couldn’t tell? Blush rises to the surface and I know I’m glowing like a neon sign. Swallowing, I nod. “Yes.”

He inches closer to me, still not touching—as impossible as that is—but infinitely closer. “You want to kiss me, Miss Robinson, you do it right.”

Oh God, does he have to call me that? Now, here? My spine arches on its own and my heavy tits graze the contours of his shuddering chest.

“H-How?” I ask innocently, belying the daring action of my body. His stern, professor-y voice is doing things to me, making me wild, uncontrolled.

For a second, he’s silent, just watching. I’m afraid he’ll back out from whatever this is, whatever insanity we’re about to commit—but then I sense the shift in the liquor-laced air as he opens his mouth and growls, “Like this.”

Twisting my hair in his grasp, he swallows my lips in his mouth. He sucks on the shape of my sensitive flesh and all I can do is let him. I put my palms on his shoulders, feeling the heated muscles under the soft material of his t-shirt. His chest shifts and slides over my breasts, like a wave of water. I want to be drenched with it. I want every drop of his sweat, his lust on every inch of my skin. I pull him toward me so he can crush me with his massive weight.

He doesn’t budge though. He stands there, unfazed, still devouring my lips, immobile. His tongue thrusts in and licks me from the inside—the roof of my mouth, my tongue, my teeth. He is after my essence, the special taste that lives deep. He growls when he gets it, my flavor, and the pressure of his grip on my hair increases tenfold.

It’s painful, but not enough to tamp down my arousal. I give up my attempts to bring him to me. Rather, I go to him. I lift my leg and wrap it around his waist. My hands creep up and lock around his neck. I climb him like an ivy, toxic and poisonous and shameless.

I press my body to his and kiss him back with everything I am. I pour my soul into it. For these few moments, I become a balm to his pain.

But it doesn’t last long. My selfishness and my need for him take over. My core starts leaking and it becomes hard to remember I’m only meant to give, not to take.

I rotate my hips, searching for that magical friction against the ridged planes of his body. Then I feel it—his erection against my upper tummy. It’s huge. Hard. A heated rod. It’s alive, and when I move against it, I feel it throb. A tortured moan rips out of his chest.

Thomas tears his mouth away from me and even my soul mourns the loss. We stare at each other, gasping for breath. I’m still clung around him and his cock is still nestled between our aroused bodies. I adjust my thigh around his hip, and it throbs with the small movement.

“Don’t fucking move,” he tells me, emphasizing it with a tug on my hair.

“Okay.” I swallow. “I’m sorry.”

A pained chuckle. “For what?”

“I made you kiss me.”

The legendary tic makes its appearance at the heel of my words. It drums on his jaw like a secondary heart, or maybe a time bomb. “You did, didn’t you?”

Unable to talk, I simply nod.

In answer, he lodges his thigh between my legs and presses on my core. It’s an electric shock multiplied by a strike of lightning, and I almost burst into flames.

“Wh-What…” I try to speak but he increases the pressure, eliciting a moan from me.

“Why?” he whispers, noting my lusty reactions. “Why did you make me do it, Layla?”

“Because I—”

Again, he repeats his movements, reducing me to wordless, needy moans. What is he doing?

“Because you what?”

“Because I do this kind of thing. I-I’m selfish and bad…” I moan, doused in shame and arousal. “I take what I want because I can’t control myself. I don’t want to.”

“And you want me, don’t you?” When I don’t answer, he tugs on my hair sharply. “You want me, Layla.”

It’s not a question, but still I nod my head. Yes, I want him. I’ve wanted him since the first time I saw him. I want him more and more with each passing day. I want him because he’s like me. He’s in unrequited love and I want to save him, somehow.

His eyes shine with satisfaction, a sense of victory at my answer. He loves my desperation and it makes me hornier.

We’re so fucked, my omniscient heart says. I agree.

“I can do whatever I want with you and you’ll let me. Isn’t that right, Layla?” He licks his lips as if savoring his own words. “I can tell you to jump and you’ll ask how high. I can tell you to strip and you’ll strip as if your clothes are on fire.”

“Yes,” I moan.

He rewards me by grinding his muscular thigh and my cunt pulses. My lust-addled brain commands me to move, to chase the friction, and I do it. I slide up and down his maddening leg, digging my nails into his scalp as the pleasure mounts.

I feel the angry and rhythmic jerk of his cock on my stomach and I love it. I love the fact that I’ve shed all my inhibitions and am reduced to this, a lust-drunk puppet. I love that it gives Thomas pleasure. He isn’t sad anymore, or vulnerable.

Yes, I love all that.

His pain has become my pain, and it’s going to make me come on his leg. I watch Thomas with hazy eyes. I watch the arrogant slope of his flushed cheeks. I watch his dilated pupils, his wet, parted lips. All the while, I’m moving, humping his leg. Up and down. Up and down.

“Of course you will,” he rasps. “Will you come for me, Layla?”

I jerk out a nod. In the back of my mind, I know how wrong this is, how shameful, but I can’t stop myself. As Thomas said, I’ll do anything for him in this moment.

My movements are haphazard now, jerky, epileptic. I want it so bad. I want my cum to gush so hard it seeps through my panties and leaves a wet patch on his jeans.

The graphic, vulgar thought pushes me over the edge. Hard and moaning, I come, just the way I wanted—no, just the way he wanted. I was simply following his orders. My mind is filled with cotton and shooting stars and static. I want to bask in it forever.

Oh God, it’s so good. So good.

The pressure on my body eases. I don’t feel his muscles between my legs, and the harsh grip on my hair has vanished. In the wake of my orgasm, Thomas has let me go, and in turn, forced me to unwind my body from his.

I’m still recovering from my climax, leaning against the wall for balance, but I try to focus. Thomas is watching me, intensely, his flaming eyes working double-time to take me in, his hands on either side of my head.

“Do you understand what I’m telling you, Layla? Can you hear your heart beating? Is it trying to pound through your chest? Do you think you can control it? Tell it to calm down? Your hips are still shaking. I bet you’re still leaking cum, aren’t you? Do you think you can control any of that?”

I shake my head.

“Yeah, that’s right. You’d be surprised to know how many things aren’t your fault at all.” His eyes bore into mine, as if telling me the importance of his declaration.

For a second, I can’t make the connection between what he’s telling me and what happened here, but then I get it. He’s absolving me. He’s rendering me blameless for kissing him, for making him kiss me. I wonder if this absolution includes what happened with Caleb. Am I free of those sins too?

My heart scoffs. Are you kidding? We tricked him into having sex.

“I saw you,” I blurt out without thinking.

As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I know in my bones that this will destroy whatever kindness he’s harboring toward me.

“Through the window,” I add, because I can’t handle not being blamed.

Everything is always my fault. The broken vases at home. Muddy footprints on the tile floors. The missing bottles of liquor from the cabinet. Caleb’s missing underwear. The fact that he ran off to college a month early and won’t even visit home. The fact that I shoplifted, drank and drove numerous times, crashed parties, broke my mom’s ice sculpture.

It’s all my fault. It’s just like me to do those things. I want Thomas’ accusation too.

“I saw how lonely you were. I saw the anger on your face, the way you…the way you paced around the room, like you were trapped.” The scene plays in my head: his frantic steps, his hands tugging at his hair.

Then the scene changes and I’m outside his bedroom window. “And-And then you were with her—Hadley. I… You were talking and you looked so sad and angry, and then she left. I kept watching your back and your shoulders. They were so tight and I could see the effort it took you to keep yourself together. Then you picked up a vase and I thought you’d throw it against the wall, break it, because I know your heart was breaking, but you held on to it. You set it down gently. You were better than me. I-I could never have done that.”

Nothing moves on his body. I don’t know if he’s breathing, if he’s even seeing me.

“Thomas, I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to see it. I…”

Then he shifts on his feet and the overhead light slashes his face into two halves of shadow and light. He appears beastly, like an animal with bright eyes and hard face. For the first time since I began my confession, I feel a tinge of true fear.

I can see he wants to do something, maybe harm me physically. His body is taut with violence. He looks bigger, enlarged with the barely leashed control. For a second, I think he does lose control. His hands jerk and ball into fists, but then he takes a shallow, choppy breath.

“Stay the fuck away from me,” he says softly, deadly.

 With that, he marches out of the storage room.

Author Bio

Writer of bad romances. Coffee Addict. White Russian Drinker. Imaginary Ballet Dancer and poetess. Aspiring Lana Del Ray of the book world. I'm a big believer in love (obviously). I believe in happily ever after, the butterflies and the tingling. But I also believe in edgy, rough and gutsy kind of love. I believe in pushing the boundaries, darker (sometimes morally ambiguous) emotions and imperfections. The kind of love I write about is flawed just like my characters. And I hope by the end of it, you'll come to root for them just as much as me. Because love, no matter where it comes from, is always pure and beautiful. 

Author Links

WEBSITE FACEBOOK FACEBOOK GROUP NEWSLETTER TWITTER

PINTEREST AMAZON GOODREADS BOOKBUB

Giveaway There is a giveaway for a $15 Amazon gift card ENTER HERE

[whole30problems]

Day 21: 1/21/17

I had some major revelations today that I’m excited to share with you. But first we must go through the boring routine of me listing what I ate at every moment of this day.

Breakfast

I made a brussels sprout potato hash! I didn’t know what that meant either, but it was good. I think I was more afraid than I should have been of it burning, so it was a little mushier than would have been ideal, but otherwise a great (and easy) breakfast.

Lunch

In lieu of going to a women’s march (I know, I’m sorry, don’t @ me) I decided to spend today indoors with my favorite woman, my best friend Lauren. We went to a grocery store in her neighborhood (I traveled all the way up to the Bronx, so in that sense I am brave and should be commended - that’s a three hour round trip!) and got ingredients for a Greek salad because it was the only thing I could think of that I could eat and that isn’t very annoying to make.

She was very impressed with my chopping skills and encouraged me to take photographic evidence:

I need bigger cutting boards like this at home. Know what else I need? Some monster fucking serving bowls, because I am never going back to a normal sized bowl for salads again. Look at this thing:

So much room to maneuver! The salad was ok but would have been better if we’d stuck with romaine. We got baby romaine which it turns out is not at all the same thing and doesn’t do as good a job soaking up the dressing, so it was a little much. But it did the trick!

Then we relaxed with some unsweetened tea and did what any sane people would do for fun: we put on a documentary about sugar.

HERE IS WHERE MY REVELATIONS START PILING IN.

We watched Fed Up (which is on Netflix). It’s generally about the state of food in America, but talks a lot about sugar and what it’s doing to us. It featured a bunch of kids who are obese and have early onset diabetes and who are really sad and scared about not being able to lose the weight. It was upsetting.

Here’s my (probably over-simplified and slightly wrong) interpretation of the message in this movie. Americans used to eat normal food and be relatively healthy. At some point, the fitness craze struck us and we decided that fat was bad and we needed to start exercising and stop eating fats of all kind. To keep selling garbage, the junk food companies stripped their garbage of fat. To ensure it still tasted good so people would keep buying it, they added a bunch of sugar.

It has since turned out that eating fat isn’t that bad for you and doesn’t actually really make you fat, but we’ve all become addicted to sugar in the meantime. (The movie mentioned one study where “cocaine-addicted rats” consistently chose sugar water over cocaine water. That’s how addictive sugar is.)

Sugar makes you fat. It also makes you tired and depressed, which means you sit around a lot, which makes you more fat. I just googled “why does sugar make you fat” and here’s a very easy to understand explanation:

This molecule is not a natural part of metabolism and humans do not produce it. In fact, very few cells in the body can make use of it except liver cells. When we eat a lot of sugar, most of the fructose gets metabolized by the liver. There it gets turned into fat, which is then secreted into the blood.

The problem is that sugar is now in EVERYTHING. Michelle Obama tried to fix this with her original “Let’s Move” campaign (fun fact: this was originally meant to mean let’s move into action, as in, hey food companies stop feeding everyone sugar), but it ended up getting converted (guess by who) into a call for Americans to start exercising more to burn off their fat instead of eating any differently.

Anyway. Revelation #1: I don’t want the asshole food industry to trick me into eating food that’s bad for me. During this process, I’ve been really enjoying not thinking about food all the time. Yes, it takes me more time to prepare it, but it means I’m not spending all my time in between meals being hungry and thinking about what to eat next and craving things and having sugar crashes. I eat something and then I live my life until it’s time to eat again.

The recommended daily intake of sugar used to be like 10 grams. Now for some reason it’s been upped to 25-40 grams (depending on gender). I’m going to try, even after the Whole 30, to stick to 10 or less grams per day. (For a reference point, if you drink one coke, that is more sugar than you’re supposed to have in a day. This shit is messed up.)

Dinner

I’m a little embarrassed to show you what I ate for dinner, because it looks kind of gross and also sounds kind of gross, but it’s what I was in the mood for. It is mashed up hardboiled egg, avocado, lemon juice, and salt and pepper. I dunno.

I had planned on coming home and relaxing and watching a show I like (like Crazy Ex-Girlfriend or This is Us), but decided instead to continue my masochistic streak. One of the things I’ve been really curious about diet-wise is animal products. I am really unclear on whether meat is great for you or bad for you, and whether cheese is ok to eat. So I watched Forks Over Knives (which, now that I look at their website, *might* have just been propaganda to buy their products, but whatever).

This nice film is all about how animal products cause cancer and heart disease. It showed what cholesterol does to your arteries, which super grossed me out and rendered me unable to finish my cholesterol-laden gourmet dish pictured above. (So I kinda didn’t have dinner. I tried.) It promotes a plant-based diet, which if you’re keeping track leaves me officially nothing left to eat but raw lettuce. There have (allegedly) been a ton of studies showing that not only does eating too much meat harm you, but that reverting to a plant-based diet can actually repair your arteries and cure a lot of serious illnesses.

Again, there was talk of a nationwide scheme spearheaded by the food industry to get Americans to eat more meat. We all got scammed into believing that it’s an important part of our daily diet because it’s the only way to get protein, but that isn’t true. Apparently plants have protein (?) and come without the extra dose of unnecessary cholesterol.

Revelation #2: I need to get serious about watching my cholesterol. I tend to default to red meat for every meal (my friends will tell you my favorite meal is a big ol’ steak), and also tend to eat larger portions of meat than I should. I’m going to make an effort to limit my meat consumption (and have chicken or fish instead when I do), and I’m also going to stop defaulting to eggs every morning for breakfast.

This movie was promoting a zero-meat lifestyle, which I don’t think I can stick to (at least not initially), but one of the points they made was that in places like Japan, meat is used to flavor a dish - not as the main part of it. For example, you can use a few pieces of meat on top of a bed of rice (and probably use less meat for everybody at the table than I usually eat in one meal). I think I’m going to shoot for that.

Anyway, it’s been a heck of a day. Erik just got home and I cried to him about how we need to stop eating meat so he doesn’t die of a heart attack. He tried his hardest not to roll his eyes and reminded me that being healthy is all about having everything in moderation (which is why this post is a little more level headed than I was originally feeling), but agreed that we can do better at being mindful about what we’re eating and continuing to limit sugar and red meat after this diet is over.

I also cheated again and weighed myself again. For the past week I’ve been wondering if that weigh-in was a fluke (it was early in the morning, idk) but nope: I’m still at 127. 

Here’s the other thing (revelation #3). Right before we started the Whole 30, I was the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life. My jeans weren’t fitting right and I was avoiding a bunch of clothes that didn’t feel loose enough, and I was really frustrated and sad about it. I felt like this was just my destiny, to keep getting fatter as I get older. But now that my jeans fit great again and I don’t feel fat in my normal clothes, I’m reminded that my fate is in my control. And I wasn’t getting fat because of my age, or my demanding job, or because I’m lazy (although yes I should exercise more). I was getting fat because I was eating like shit. 

The running motto of the 2nd movie was “Don’t live to eat; eat to live.” And to summarize my ramblings here, I think I finally agree.

I like not being fat. I like having energy throughout the day. I like being able to sleep. I like having clear, healthy skin. It is becoming very hard to remember why eating a block of cheese or a bowl of cereal or a couple of cookies used to feel more important than any of those things.