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clairelsonao3 · 2 years ago

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Top 10 Character Essence

It's tag game time again!

@tabswrites and @hollyannewrites challenged (and I do mean challenged) me to name my top ten characters "decided by their essence or meaning to you."

A challenge to give your Top 10 favourite characters, based on their ESSENCE. They have to be favourite characters that also have a deeper literary value, where you enjoy their specific role in the story, and this means that the list also should exclude characters that would normally count as favourites if for purely nostalgic reasons. They can be from film, tv, or written media, anything.

Thank you! I hope I fulfilled the challenge the way it was meant to be fulfilled!

Although TBH, I can't believe I'm even attempting to tackle this. I have to choose only 10? I think it goes without saying this list is not exhaustive, nor does it represent all of my favorite books/movies/media. I really did try to capture the question by focusing on "essence and meaning" (including how they've influenced my own writing and not just "random characters I like." I also have to attempt not to write an essay for each because we don't want to be here all night.

Charlotte Doyle (The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle by Avi) Rich girl in the early 1800s gets on a ship with a mutinous crew and an evil captain, joins the crew, defeats the captain using only her wits, miraculously makes it home, AND THEN DECIDES TO GO BACK TO SEA AND BECOME A SAILOR. I read this all in one sitting one night when I was about 15 (after avoiding it because I thought it looked boring) and then literally decided to reshape my entire life based on it (I'm not kidding). Yes, I actually took up sailing. Also, there's a hot sailor that she obviously has chemistry with but it's left unresolved, and no one has ever written a future fic about it to my knowledge, and that's a CRIME. So yeah, step right up.

John Bender (The Breakfast Club) He's not just the original '80s bad boy with a Dark and Troubled Past, but what most people forget about him is that he's also hilarious. It's a rare combination. Honorary mention to his love interest, Claire, and not just because of her name.

Fantine (Les Miserables by Victor Hugo) - Mostly the book version of her, though she obviously has a showstopping number in the musical as well. She was the sad, angsty character I needed during the most sad, angsty period of my life. She was a poor, lonely urchin who found fleeting love and happiness in the spring, got abandoned and pregnant in the winter -- and it only got worse from there. Also, apropos of nothing, at one point, I wrote a short story featuring a dog by the same name -- who, um, died.

The Artful Dodger/Dodger (Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens/Oliver & Company) - I'm including both the human version and the dog version of this character because I love them both (though I actually prefer the Disney movie, lol). They're both thieves with devil-may-care attitudes, with soft spots for those more vulnerable than themselves. Plus, the dog version is Billy Joel, wears sunglasses, and plays piano with his tail, which -- I don't care what anyone says -- will never not be cool.

Satine (Moulin Rouge) - She was the beautiful, sparkling, singing, dancing tragic sex goddess I so badly wanted to be. So much so that as recently as five years ago when I reluctantly dressed up for a Halloween party, I chose her silver-dress-and-top-hat ensemble.

Rick Blaine (Casablanca) The most endlessly quotable character from one of the most endlessly quotable and romantic movies of all time. He sticks his neck out for no one. Except, oops, wait, he does. The OG Hollywood antihero with a Dark and Troubled -- whatever, you know the drill. Plus, he's also my dad's favorite character in his favorite movie (and I discovered it because of him), and so this pick has sentimental meaning for me.

Leah Price (The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver) - When we read this book in high school, she was the least popular character, probably due to her unwavering love and support for her dad, even though he was a singular-focused religious zealot who destroyed his entire family by dragging them into the African jungle in an ill-thought-out missionary trip. And then she married a guy with some of the same qualities (but he was better, thankfully). But for whatever weird reason, I related to her most. Anyway, for class, I wrote and tried to perform a monologue where I played her but forgot 90 percent of my lines. Oh well.

Mary Lennox (The Secret Garden by France Hodgson Burnett, I found the movie version fairly meh) There were a lot of spunky, iconic childhood book heroines to choose from, but she was Mary, Mary Quite Contrary, and so I choose her. (I got told to "smile" a lot as a kid). Also, as I mentioned in a previous post, I was a Mary/Dickon shipper before I even knew what shipping meant.

Neal Caffrey (White Collar) - Does anyone remember this show? I have no attention span for TV, and this is probably the last scripted show I remember watching every episode of during its original run, which is saying something. Everything I know about being a con artist (in fiction, lol) I learned from this charming, charismatic art-forger-turned-FBI-consultant. I think he also has the honor of being the subject of the first actual fanfic I ever wrote.

Iris Chase Griffin (The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood) I also had to pick one character of my favorite author, so Iris gets the crown. She starts off the story as an old lady looking back to when she was forced to marry some rich asshole instead of the science fiction writer (with a past that was -- wait for it -- Dark and Troubled) who BOTH she and her sister loved, and meanwhile, her sister became a writer and when she died it was discovered that -- oh, just read the goddamn book, I won't spoil it for you here.

Honorable mentions, in no particular order:

Violet Westing (The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin)

Jack Kelly (Newsies the movie, NOT the stage musical)

Turonga Leela (Futurama)

Vicky Austin (The Austins by Madeleine L'Engle)

Jack Dawson and Rose Dewitt-Bukater (Titanic) I can't decide between them, so they're getting an HM.

Palaestrio and Milphidippa (Miles Gloriosus by Plautus) Same as above.

Michael Furey (The Dead by James Joyce) Who is, in fact, dead throughout the story -- but being alive wasn't one of the requirements.

I wish I could include a Star Wars character, but could never decide, so let's say, oh, all of them, except that one you hate.

In case the following people want to do what I did and spend several WEEKS on this fascinating but life-ruining (in a good way) tag game: @mysticstarlightduck @enne-uni @kixngiggles @obviousknife + OPEN TAG because you don't even have to be a writer for this one, so I'd be interested in hearing from anybody who wants to chime in!

#tag game #top 10 character essence #characters #writeblr #writeblr tag games

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linawritestwst · 2 years ago

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Hi, can I request headcanons with Riddle, Leona, Azul and Jamil with a gn so with PTSD from all the overblot incidents?

riddle, leona, azul and jamil x s/o who's traumatized from overblot incidents (gn!reader)

okay, so i wasn't sure if i should make these headcanons more angsty or more soft and i went "both is good". ALSO IT PROBABLY WOULD BE WEIRD FOR ME TO COME BACK WITH PURE ANGST. i hope you like these, anon!

riddle rosehearts.

♡ riddle knew about your problems and it made him feel so angry with other students, with crowley and.. with himself. why someone like you should deal with all this stuff? he's not saying that you're weak, but still, you don't know anything about this world, you don't know how it works, so why crowley made you go through all of this? and he still doesn't know how to send you back to your world?? riddle respects most nrc staff members, but.. he can't just watch the headmaster force you to do his job.

♡ riddle can't really control the other dorms, but if he sees a heartslabyul student trying to ask you for help, he distracts them and asks them what they need. after all, it is his job as a dorm leader to help his students, but also.. you don't need more problems. riddle is doing everything he can to help you get a break that you deserve. he also feels guilty, because he was the first overblotted student that you had to deal with.

♡ speaking of his overblot, riddle can't believe that you still fell in love with him after that. he was the one who started all this, he feels like it's his fault that you're basically forced to be a nrc therapist now. you told him so many times that it's not true and you don't blame him, but.. sometimes you can't help but think, what would happen if riddle never overblotted? or what if someone else took care of him? maybe crowley wouldn't force you to "tame the nrc students", maybe he would never think you're that special and you would be fine with it. when you first heard about your job as a ramshackle prefect, you got excited, even though you still wanted to go home. but you didn't want to deal with all these traumatized students when you have your own problems to solve.

♡ riddle knows that he can't stop students from overblotting or anything like that, but he still tries to help you with your job as a prefect. even if it's something simple, like listening to you rant about something stupid grim did today, riddle is only glad to help and keep you company. and if he notices that you're not feeling so good, he asks if you want to drink some tea with him today or simply spend some time together. he doesn't know much about emotional support, but he's trying his best!

leona kingscholar.

♡ leona made a lot of jokes about you falling in love with someone who overblotted before, but he really can't understand you. didn't he make you suffer a lot, didn't he cause problems for you in the past? and you just said: "yes. yes, you did, but i fell in love with you anyway." leona's reaction was simply: "huh. you're weird." but leona is grateful for you not leaving his side, he really appreciates it.. it's not like he's gonna mention it though.

♡ leona didn't feel much after he overblotted, sure, it wasn't the best thing to happen to him, but hey, he's alive and he's still here. overblotting is a twst version of dyeing your hair after having a mental breakdown at this point. but when he sees how it affected you.. yeah, he doesn't feel so good. like, he was the one who overblotted, why are you the one who always looks so sad and stressed? wait, there's more overblotted students for you to deal with? and you've been told that "you're the only one who can help them"?? okay, now leona is MAD.

♡ why are you doing crowley's job? you don't have any magic powers, you don't know anything about twisted wonderland and this overblot stuff is new to you, why did he choose someone who doesn't have any experience? yeah, leona is definitely gonna talk with crowley about that. oh, you say that it's pointless? oh well, he's gonna do it anyway, at least crowley will know how leona feels about this. and come on, at least someone has to tell him that you can't deal with all of this alone.. no, leona is not doing it because he feels guilty and he feels like he should apologize to you for causing trouble before.

♡ like riddle, leona is not that good at emotional support, but at least he can listen to you talk about your problems. "you're totally gonna fall asleep while listening to me" "shut up, y/n, i'm trying to be supportive". your conversations go basically like this: you mention someone else's overblot and leona is like "yeah, they could try and cope with their trauma in a different way" and then you mention leona's overblot and he's like ".. hey >:(" he's joking though, you're free to say anything you want about that day, he feels like he kinda deserves it.

azul ashengrotto.

♡ let's just say that pretty much everyone knows that azul is worried about you. and some people find it kinda suspicious. even jade and floyd went "???" after azul suddenly mentioned that they should do something to help you with your problems. like other overblotted students, azul feels guilty for making you go through all of this, you really don't have to be everyone's therapist here. azul did fall in love with you because of your kind and gentle nature, but it hurts him to see others (*ahem* crowley) taking advantage of you exactly because of your kindness.

♡ azul doesn't understand why you're still in a relationship with him, even when you start shaking every time you hear someone say "overblot" and when crowley tells you to deal with another overblotted student. why did you choose someone like azul? he even feels like he's kind of.. a burden to you. but you're still saying that you don't regret confessing your love to him and you still want to be with him. you like to call him your beloved troublemaker though. and how can you stop loving him after you see how hard he's trying to be supportive? he sends twins to you if you need help with anything, he always says that you can come to mostro lounge and talk to him if you need company and a shoulder to cry on.. you can't just stop loving someone like him.

♡ of course, azul does all of this because he loves you and he wants you to know that. but he also does this because he knows what it's like to go through so much trauma. azul doesn't know what would happen to him if he never met jade and floyd, so he's trying to give you the support that he needed during that time. he knows that it's not gonna be easy, it doesn't look like you're gonna be able to come back home anytime soon, but it sure looks like nrc still needs your help. but maybe, just maybe.. you will be able to overcome it. azul knows how strong you are, it would be more surprising for him if you just gave up all of a sudden. so please, believe in yourself more, okay?

jamil viper.

♡ okay, jamil knows that he can't make this about him, BUT. he can relate. he knows what it's like to deal with so much stuff and having no one to rely on. and he always reminds you that your feelings are valid. it's okay to be mad when there's so much going on and every single time something happens, people go "hey, y/n, do this for us". it's actually better for you to be mad than bottle your feelings up, look at those who overblotted, they did the exact same thing and it didn't end well. yes, you can use jamil as an example.

♡ so if you need to scream, do it. if you need to rant, jamil is here to listen. just don't suffer in silence, okay? people have to know about your problems, especially your loved ones, because they can't help you if they don't know what's going on. also it's just not healthy for you to obey all crowley's orders and be quiet about it. and you still have to deal with grim, he's definitely causing some trouble too. yeah, you're very strong for someone who's not even from twisted wonderland, but please, y/n, you have to take a break. even if it's a very small one, TAKE IT.

♡ jamil can be busy because of his responsibilities as a vice dorm leader, but when he's free, he's always glad to spend time with you or help you with something. helping you doesn't feel like a chore, it still feels like having fun with someone he loves and cares about. also, if he doesn't help you, then who's gonna help you? jamil often mentions that he doubts you can rely on anyone else but him, but.. he's kinda right. he really is one of the most reliable people out here. and you're happy to have a boyfriend like him, even if he also overblotted in the past.

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland imagines #twst imagines #twst headcanons #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader #jamil viper #jamil viper x reader

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unhealthyfanobsession · 2 years ago

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Angsty prompt with Nesta recovery arc: day of her wedding is soured when Cassian is once again distracted by Mor, whom she reluctantly invited as a bridesmaid per his request. Feyre has been more enamored with the wedding itself than reassuring Nesta’s nerves. Rhys is holding the check over her head even tho she insisted he didn’t need to pay. Amren is just being a bitch and souring the whole evening with her attitude against marriage. (Perhaps an omen?)

Finally done with being second, she sneaks out the back with The Valkyries in tow and a couple hundred bucks Eris gives her (was supposed to be a wedding gift but better suited as a runaway bride advance - he’s loving it! Much blessings and thank you for the drama!!) and roads trips to anywhere with her best friends. A weekend of clarity and a phone discarded in some church bathroom.

Creative liberties to the writer - you never disappoint!

Ok so if you squint then I kind of fulfilled what you asked for … I started with good intentions I swear but it just took on a life if it’s own! Always dangerous to give me creative liberty 😉

“You look so beautiful,” Elain smiled. She smiled and for a second Nesta almost believed her. Almost deluded herself into thinking that this happy, gentle, sweet, make no conflicts version of Elain was real and not just a facade she put up to avoid sharing Nesta’s fate.

Not that Nesta’s fate was bad. It was good, of course. It worked out. Everything worked out exactly as it was supposed to. Right?

Nesta placed her hand over Elain’s on her shoulder and smiled back, “Just like the drawings.”

Nesta pretended she didn’t see Feyre’s eyes flicker dark even as the first ounce of genuine light entered Elain’s.

“Drawings?” It was the first word Mor had spoken all day - a fact that Nesta had been, up until this second, extraordinarily glad of. She had invited Mor to her bridal suite (or whatever it was called for a mating ceremony) out of courtesy more than anything else. Respect for her relationship with Cassian - confusing and annoying as it was- and because she knew Mor was the sort of girl who would die to see a wedding dress before everyone else.

She was right on that score if the way the blonde’s entire spine straightened up the second Gwyn clasped together then final pearl-inlaid button was any indication.

“Nesta and Elain used to draw their wedding dresses on the back of sheet music when they were supposed to be studying piano.” Feyre’s delivery was simple and free of bitterness. Mor’s eyes were not.

“You didn’t joint them?”

“Feyre was never a fan of girly things like that,” Elain’s jaw worked hard with the force of her plastered on smile. “We asked her to draw a wedding dress with us once and she drew a huntsman’s cloak instead.”

Feyre grinned at the memory, “I did, didn’t I?”

“More practical, you said.” Nesta didn’t add that Feyre repeated the sentiment again once they were back in the cottage and her and Elain were fantasizing about their wedding gowns while Feyre was hunting.

“But you love beautiful dresses,” Mor half pouted. Yes, Feyre loved to go shopping and feel silks and dress in starlight with her new friends.

“I like wearing beautiful dresses when they are placed in front of me as Rhys and you do … I don’t spend my free time thinking of them.”

Nesta felt Elain’s hand clamp tighter on her shoulder. She squeezed back in acknowledgment. The shared frustration.

“I suppose you had more important thing to think about.”

Was this going to be the rest of Nesta’s life? Waiting for Cassian in a pretty dress while his family reminded her of every sin she committed as a child? Would he defend her? Would he tell Mor to stop, if he was here? Would these subtle jabs and hairpin pricks ever cease? Shouldn’t Nesta know the answers to these questions before she accepted eternity?

Choosing Cassian had never been easy, but it had always been worth it. His family though …

No.

Not his family.

Just Mor.

What did it say that Nesta trusted more entirely in Rhysand to defend her against Mor’s comments than her own mate? Rhysand who wouldn’t stop showering her in gifts and wouldn’t hear a single bad word about her from anyone. Rhysand who took a debt for a debt. A language he and Nesta understood completely. Rhysand who owed Nesta 3 lives that he would never repay. That she never wanted him to repay.

Cassian owed her nothing but himself. And it was enough. Cauldron and mother and wall and old human gods, it was enough. But … was it enough when he was not there?

That had always been the question, hadn’t it.

Hand stitched silk tightened around Nesta’s middle. Squeezing her organs together and trapping her nerve somewhere deep inside her rib cage.

A huntsman’s cloak, her little sister wanted.

Ironic, that so many years later she sent a huntsman to trap her wicked elder sister’s heart.

And of course he succeeded.

For a very long time Nesta convinced herself that it didn’t matter, if he trapped her heart or she gave it willingly. But suddenly, in this room, with Elain’s hand pressing down on her shoulder and Mor’s glare so thinly veiled and her sins splashed across Feyre’s face even on this day … suddenly, nothing mattered more.

“It’s ok,” Elain whispered. “Do it for both of us.”

Gwyn’s eyes shot up, bright teal reflecting off of shining white. Emerie stood where she had been watching quietly from the corner.

“Any summit,” her Illyrian sister said. “Any battle.” Her gaze flickered to Mor and the High Lady. “Any choice.”

And just like that, her organs loosened. Shifted back to their proper spot, floating free among her blood and muscle.

Nesta wanted to run, and if she did, more people in this room would cover her tracks than try to claw her back.

She was not where she was all those months ago. She was better. She was freer. She was … loved.

Loved by her sisters. Blood and found.

Loved by her brothers (in-law but every bit annoying enough to count as the real thing)

Loved by her mate.

Loved by … loved by herself.

And that made all the difference.

With one foot out the door, Nesta did something she never could have done a year ago. She admitted what she truly needed in that instant. “Everyone get out.”

They did. Without question.

And with a single tug of a golden string…

“Cold feet, sweetheart?”

#nessian #nesta archeron #nessian fanfiction #acosf #cassian #a court of thorns and roses #sarah j maas #nesta and cassian #gwyn berdara #gwyneth berdara #a court of silver flames #valkyrie #Valkyrie trio

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redemptionarcsucker · 2 years ago

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I couldn’t help but think about the line in ‘Retired’ where Helia thinks, “You’ve never trusted anyone anyway. You never will, you’re incapable of love.”

Does this mean he has a hard time loving people around him? It takes a lot for him to trust someone, but with Flora, in ‘Falling’ he says he fell in love with her. Do you have any headcanons on how or why he fell in love with her and if he struggled to come to terms with it?

Ahh thank you for the question! My literature major brain is screamingg

Just as a disclaimer, a lot of what I am going to say is based on the backstory I've sort of constructed from him, and may clash with the other ways that people have interpreted his character

You've made an extremely interesting observation by pointing out the demarcation of love and trust (which I didn't even notice whilst writing the stories), and I think that's actually the key to really understanding Helia's struggle when it comes to relationships. When Helia and Flora met for the first time, it's undeniable that both of them were immediately intrigued by each other. Flora, I think, figured out that she had feelings for him pretty quickly. She was flustered around him, asked Aisha to snoop around, and wrote that letter, and so on.

To me, Helia seems to have had a lot more difficulty really understanding what was happening in his head. The glimpse you get of his past in 'Retired' is sort of reflective of why - the man hardly had the time or space to be a normal kid or even a normal human, with friendships and relationships like other people his age. This is partly why Flora confessed first, because I think he was still struggling to understand his own feelings. For all the "sensitive artist" qualities people assign to him, Helia with a lot of his interactions, especially in the earlier seasons, seems to be extremely guarded and somewhat unsure of how to respond to things. (That's also why it's super cute that he shows Flora he loves her by giving her little presents all the time, because he does seem to slightly struggle with social and romantic conventions otherwise). Helia may have even been in denial about his own feelings to a large extent, which would be kind of ironic because as much as he wants Flora to respond positively to his mild (mostly awkward) flirting, he may have also felt a bit of relief that she did not.

But yeah, I think meeting Flora would have shattered his own self-perception until that point, though once in a while, like in 'Retired', he reverts quite strongly to that state of mind. It checks out that he's so hard on himself all the time, it would make sense that he's constantly anxious about screwing things up in his relationship as well.

So yes, I do think he has a hard time loving people, and an even harder time expressing his love. As I mentioned, gifting people things and giving them compliments to show affection is super interesting in that regard. I would think that Helia kissing Flora for the first time was a sort of reconciliation with himself as well, and (this is once again entirely me just making things angsty), with the lines he says in the 4kids version, something about moving on from the past and focusing on the future, it feels like he's talking about something even bigger than their current situation.

Now in terms of trust, I would think that it wouldn't completely align with his journey of recognising his love for Flora and ultimately realising that he was head-over-heels for her. Helia probably would not trust everyone he loves. Funnily enough, there's a line I wrote in a wip fic where he says that he doesn't trust anyone, but for the time being, he chooses to believe in them instead.

I think it would take him a long time to trust Flora, so long that it might frustrate her sometimes. Helia is the kind to dip out of a place when he's going through something, and as patient as she is with him, it would make sense that she struggles with the fact that he hardly seems to trust her with his feelings or pain, even when it takes a toll on their relationship. Helia is probably extremely aware of this, and that puts even more of a strain on both of them to try to make the other feel comfortable. I would think that this also makes him (over)think about whether he loves her in the first place, since it is disturbingly easy for him to leave everything behind, including her.

That's why I think Helia thinks himself incapable of loving someone, and undeserving of loving him. In 'Falling', Helia calls Flora the warmest person he knows, and I think that is why he fell in love with her, and what is so symmetrical about their relationship. Helia largely aligns himself with his darkness, but Flora represents the light that he could find with the future, the light he could find within himself.

#hope this made sense #tired as hell so i hope it makes sense to me tomorrow #anyway i love flora and helia hcs gimme more asks #winx helia #winx flora

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sweethartlullaby · 3 years ago

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spidey kook

let’s talk about spidey kook sweethartlullaby ꕤ masterlist

spidey kook in school: - literally the ultimate best with everything he does - he helps everyone to the best of his capabilities and has a flock of students admiring him every time - doesn’t really take the spotlight on things and is humble and respectful to everyone - he would constantly be asked to help tutor other students but - because of the incident where a girl started crying in the middle of a session because she couldn’t believe she was that close to him - he rejects it - he excels in sports constantly and earns big wins for his team - keeps in check with his grades all the time; and with grades like that, looks like that, and talents like that, he’s easily everyone’s dream person - of course he is part of the yearbook team and takes pictures of one student particularly too much namsaying - doesn’t really interact with said student because of how shy he is around them - is always tempted to reveal his identity to them but knows it’s too dangerous for them to know - drops hints but they never understand - he was scared people would realize his reflexes because of his spidey skills but everyone just gets amazed because honestly, what can jeon jungkook not do? - have i mentioned he is an absolute heartthrob? he doesn’t flirt purposely and leaves them hanging but he definitely knows how to catch their eye - whether it’d be by lifting his shirt to wipe his sweat during p.e - tying his hair a certain way - helping the younger students carry their books so his classmates talk about how great he would be as a father and husband - of course, he remains humble and tries his best to hide his smile when he hears these things

spidey kook in the streets: - sometimes he forgets to put on his mask and goes out with his whole spidey suit - when people start looking at him weird then he realizes - to save himself he winks and says “cool costume right? got it off amazon.” - he loves swinging; it is the ultimate way to get around - has to save his crush at some point amirite - he saves them and is perfectly fine but with the way they’re clinging onto him, he jokes about being hurt so they would stay with him a little longer and perhaps, give him a bit more attention - loves helping anyone, even if it’s the simple things such as reaching for things at the top shelf - or chasing after their running dog - or calming down a baby even if he has to give up his banana milk - he radiates goodness and kindness and anyone who meets him knows this - we all know spidey kook would not be afraid to sacrifice himself if it means protecting those he loves

following shit is depressive and angsty stuff so beware! - has to choose between his version of aunt may or his lover at some point - loves helping people so much because he mostly feels lonely and hearing people say they appreciate him is what drives him to get up and become spider-man, no matter how difficult it is - sometimes thinks that the only reason his lover stays with him is because he is spider-man and not because they really love him, although this isn’t the case - too innocent for the world and always looks for the good in people, even in his worst enemies - can’t bring himself to be mad at anyone but himself if he loses someone he loves - if something bad happens, his first thought is that it’s his fault - whether it’d be because he didn’t reach the place in time - or wasn’t paying attention to the police radio and didn’t catch the part where they said someone was in trouble - constantly burdened with the thought that he can always prevent someone from getting hurt even though this isn’t true - so selfless and loving to everyone but himself

A/N: that’s it! this is just a idk what to call it, a drabble? but i hoped you enjoy it and yes i really want to see spidey kook come true.

#jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook x reader #jjk bts #jjk #spiderman #spider man #spiderman no way home #the amazing spider man #andrew garfield #bts #bts fic #bts imagines #tom holland #tobey maguire #marvel #jungkook #spidey kook #kookie #sweethartlullaby ꕤ

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projectjasper · 3 years ago

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Hello ! I'm back !

Yesterday, the moment my clumsy ass accidentally pressed the ask button ( and i couldn't remember if i had pressed the anon button yet again ) my anxiety went 📈 and i couldn't come back to tumblr at all for the rest of the day lol. It's been two times already . Maybe i should change my Pseudoname to 'Clumsy Anon' now .

However, since you said you liked what was in there, let me present the edited version to the roundtable:

The (probably unrealistic) things im hoping for but may not happen at all:

•Pran standing up for Pat against Wai in the fight scene.

•Pat's friends adopting Pran bcz he stood up for Pat against his own friend proving that he actually cares for Pat.

•Pran's all other friends forgiving him (more like not being assholes) and trying to talk some sense into Wai but he doesn't listen so he becomes a bit of an outcast himself.

Things that I'm dreading but are probably gonna happen instead:

•Pran defending Pat against Wai but Pat's friends having none of it bcz "It's all his fault anyway. Wai is his friend. If they weren't dating this wouldn't have happened" And everything is just as shitty as it can get .

Even then tho, i still believe Pat's friends are gonna come around quicker than Pran's. And in the preview, Korn says that the seat is reserved for Engineering students only which might mean that he's upset that it's Pran (or someone from Architecture in general) Pat is dating instead of being upset bcz of him dating a guy .

Opinions ?

I'd also love to have your and the roundtable's opinions on if we may get these scenes some time in the future:

• PatPran waking up actually cuddling.

• An emotional kiss that's not pure Pain like that one.

That's all . Have a good day :)

(Ps. You are a part of the roundtable right ? So is it okay if i greet everyone, including you, together as the Roundtable ?

Pss. I can imagine PatPran performing this song together in front of everyone while stealing glances at each other with Gooey eyes the entire time. It's a totally cheerful song that just screams 'in love' and our brains need a break from all the angsty stuff .

Unreliable Anon

heyy, dearest unreliable anon!! your identity is entirely anonymous still, you did not forget to press the anon button - no fear 🥰

i would fucking ascend to heaven right away if pran stood between pat and wai and protected pat. imagine the potential parallel to the episode 5 fight - in some sense, pran was choosing wai there, he really showed how much he cared about him and his opinion in that moment, which kind of hurt pat. so imagine if this time around pran stands up for pat and for himself against this fucking dickhead? i would LOVE to see that!

i also think your idea about the friends might not be that unrealistic. we have seen none of safe or louis in the teaser, and safe seems like a really reasonable person (which i hope i'm right about), while louis is very much a herd sheep that follows his friends' lead, and the friend doesn't always have to be wai. as for pat's friends - we shall see, if the teaser is perhaps misleading and their reaction is different from what it seems, then i am also on board with your ideas on them 👀

i AM really hoping we get a moment with them waking up cuddling. we have all wanted an episode 2 parallel, and i think we still haven't gotten it. the beginning of episode 8 felt more like a parallel to the beginning of episode 5 rather than 2, so i am still hoping to see their more routine morning together (because - as in love as pat is - i am pretty sure breakfast in bed is not a daily occurrence, and we have been shown that pran already knows pat's actual habits, so it would be super cute to see how they are together on a regular morning).

as for another emotional kiss, i think that we might get one more, though i can't promise that it will be less painful...

also yes, i am a part of the roundtable 😌 and i love the song!! added it to our communal playlist 💛

#bad buddy #archer responds #unreliable anon

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ahjustroza · 4 years ago

Note

Hello, could you write an HC about an GN!MC who used to be a mob boss or run an illegal organization and the Mains 6 + Valerius' Reaction? Doesn't need to be angsty just dramatic

I wanted to go dramatic with the CGs lmao. Also, it got long and everything is under the cut.

Warning!

Headcanon includes the mention of murder, suicide, crime, and depression. So I would say it is NSFW.

Mob Boss MC Headcanons

Asra

He always knew it

He knows everything about you even the things you don't know about yourself

I can see you as the type of boss that doesn't create mass murders for personal gain

However, I can see thievery, blackmailing, and playing your games dirty

Maybe illegal underground market business in the red market (a version of the black market in Vesuvia)

You are smart but also have a soft spot

For him

And only him

Since MC canonically lives with him for a long time I can only picture you being a mob boss in your past before him

But your past is probably still haunting you

You don't necessarily need a tragic childhood to be a mob boss

I want to leave the reasons up to you but I refuse to believe you would be cruel and unreasonable

Because you are all amazing human beings

Many people get into this lifestyle by mistake, choice, or by someone else's force

Whatever reason that made you get into this lifestyle however did change you

You have trust issues, always on defensive mode, and always observing everything around you for possible threats or problems

But he came into your life and became the center of it

You told him what you did before moving to Vesuvia step by step

Not in one go

You tried to see how he would react to you

When you couldn't keep this secret from him anymore, you just told him

It was very impulsive of you

Highly surprising

You told him how you started from the bottom and climbed to the top

you told him how everyone in your home knows your name

How many people were your followers and how if you ask they will come and continue to follow you without a question

You did dirty work, you hurt people too

Violence is something he can not tolerate

At all

But just like you, he is also at the loss of words when any topic comes to the possibility of you leaving

He doesn't want you to go

And you don't want to leave

So expect him to stay away from you for a while

He will not speak of it out loud ever again

Never going to tell anything to even Muriel

No one has to know

Because you are now here and a different person

He will assume that you did what you did to survive

Just like his best friend...

When you lose your memories and slowly starting to gain them back

He is hesitant to answer any question regarding your past

But he knows that he has to

So he does

And you get involved in the red market

Asra is disappointed but you assure him that it is to find ingredients for your magic shop

He will never leave you, but he is not approving illegal business

Yet who he is to judge?

He made a ritual to bring you back by killing the Count of Vesuvia

So he is more on the stick close to you so that you won't get hurt side

Nadia

She will either use your connections for spy mastering or lock you up until she gets rid of your gang/illegal organization

But oh no she will not give up on you for being a simple mob boss oh no

She grew up into the royalty and probably dealt with and seen worst situations

She will not allow you to put yourself into any kind of danger and if she must she will put you on house arrest or even lock you up in dungeons

She dealt with a crazy husband before and she learned from her mistakes

So do as she says

She will give you two options, either listen to her or leave Vesuvia completely

Nadia will want her answer on the spot because if you truly want to be with her, you shouldn't need a lot of time to think about it

She will be even more dominant around you

She will make sure to remind you who has the power

If you leave Vesuvia she will never want to see you again

But she will be there personally to put you to the ground if you cause any trouble

If you choose to stay then you have another two options

You leave the business completely or run it for her favor

Provide him important information about the underground market and other organizations in Vesuvia

Yet that only can happen if you can hide your identity as a mob boss

So get creepy and wear a Tokyo Ghoul mask during business hours

I'd say if you chose to go disguise and spy on the underground for Nadia

You two will be the dictionary definition of the power couple

Like hot damn

Imagine

You live like royalty during the day and go be a mob boss during the night

She will even make you her spymaster if you are willing

Julian

He will volunteer to be your henchman (is this what it is called?)

Yeah

You have now extra trouble because he is not leaving your side

He will even find you more connections for business

He knows key people in different countries and cities

He knows roads to pass without getting caught

He did live this lifestyle for quite a long time after all

Minus the mob boss part

He is by no means not letting anyone he doesn't like to even have an audience with you

My man knows his way with people and not afraid to put up a fight for you

He is impulsive but useful in the underground world

He is a doctor without a license (or it is just a myth? who really knows...) so he was really doing illegal consultations on regular basis lol

He will patch you up when you get hurt and probably will teach you how you can make lethal damage to your enemy during a fight by teaching you anatomy

You will have to send him to horny jail whenever he talks about anatomy because he is a visual learner

And the best way he teaches anything is to show you

So lock him up

It's not like he will resist

He is good with reading body language too

I can think of Julian to be giving you the most understanding reaction when you tell him that you are a mob boss

He has a history (again I remind you)

So if he is in love with you, he is stuck to your side and yes he will still have his leeches with him

His plague doctor mask becomes popular underground too

If you didn't know better, even you would find him scary and intimidating looking during the friendly business hours

And Julian being Julian, he will insist that you find yourself a mask too

So that you will be a power couple

But make it romantic

However, this is the best scenario where you are just doing business in the red market by selling illegal goods, or being a Mob Boss Robin Hood

if you do unacceptable things, such as cruelty towards children and the innocent

And anything violent that including torture and murder,

He will end this all himself

Julian is dramatic but if he had to kill you because there is no other way to stop you he will

Then will follow you not too long after.

Portia

She will hate to hear that.

Portia is strong but fragile at the same time

She has a strong emotional connection to you and you are probably one of those people she trusts more than anyone

So when you say that you are a mob boss she is broken

Hurt and disappointed

But mostly confused

She doesn't know what to do with this

What to do with you, with what you have between the both of you

She loves you a million

But you are wrong with your life decisions

the good and the bad fights inside of her mind when she tries to make a decision

She will either leave everything behind and live a life similar to what her brother had to live

Or let you go to be yourself and get hurt

She will never forget you or never stop loving you

But she will be in a deep depression after you leave her

Most likely never recover

Because you broke the trust she gave you

So if you want her

If you want to be with her

You have to play your cards right

You are on very thin ice here

You can literally break her in a way without a return

So chose your life carefully

What do you want to do as a mob boss?

Will, you hurt people? Cause trouble and chaos? Torture the innocent and break families?

Or will you just do underground illegal trades and sales?

She can keep your secret if you just do your business in the red market

But she will not tolerate you causing harm to others

She will hate it but will stop you no matter the cost before you become the monster you two fought while falling in love with each other

You have her heart

But she has yours too

So she will not allow anyone else to stop you and do it herself

Because she is afraid for others to put you down in a painful way

She'll stop you rather gently

Caress your cheek while crying beside you

She will never forgive you but also will never stop loving you

You are her only big love and will remain like that forever

She will be the person she was while Julian was on the run

Always nervous and always having anxiety and panic attacks

She won't leave you no

No no no no.

She rather dies than spend a day without the thought of you not loving her

Being there for her

She refuses very strongly to let you go and also get caught.

So in this scenario, you two are still together and preferably alive

But she is in agony every second of the day

And you know that this is all your fault

Yet continue anyway.

Muriel

No.

He is not accepting this.

He will be furious and hurt so much that he will tell you to go right away

He trusted you and you betrayed him

There is not much to say for Muriel

He doesn't want to see you again

Even though he wants you

He dreamed about having a peaceful life with you

But he will not go over all the pain he had caused by violence and power

Lucio

You already know he is down

He will do anything for you

Destroy enemy mob boss?

Run the entire underground together?

Invade a city so that you can make the illegal legal?

Do you want someone dead?

Do you want him to arm people for you?

Recruit followers?

Done.

With the potential he has there is no option to stay peaceful in the underground business

Even if you just mention that you want to make a certain business

He'll take it as order the moment it comes out of your mouth

It will be scary

Terrifying even

You will be unstoppable

Valerius

Lmao you probably got him cornered and forced him to work with you

And he got so turned on that said yes on the spot

But made it look as he was the victim here

He seems to be distressed with your connection but secretly he likes the power you have

You do as you please, take whatever you want

And people in the palace have no idea

He knows that you are smart

Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to become a boss and run your business flawlessly

He'll support you financially of course

Under the table

But the real job he does is to give you information

He is also good at creating gossips and rumors as well

He is connected to the high class and works in the palace so it is really hard for people to make any kind of connection between him and you

He pretends to make investigations about your illegal business but what he actually does is mislead the palace

In return, you get him precious stuff

Expensive wine, silk clothes, anything he wants

Oh my god Valerius is your sugar baby and he doesn't even know

Whenever you tell him to see you he is there the moment he can leave his work

He likes to be around you but plays hard to get

He loves to see you struggle and frustrated

He will not give you away but don't expect him to go down with you if you get caught either

He cares about his reputation

The best he can do is to help you escape in a way people can't make connections with him

Then you will most likely become his sugar baby-ish for a while

He will boss you around but the second you remind him who you are he will act bratty

Oh does he likes being bratty

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sirenprincess15 · 3 years ago

Text

Please Don't Leave Me Chapter 13

Title: Please Don’t Leave Me

Author: SirenPrincess

Description: What if Aleksander hadn’t answered the door when Ivan interrupted the war room kissing? What if Aleksander and Alina had a bit more time to get to know each other before Baghra told her his true identity? Alina is the only one who can comfort Aleksander through his nightmares. Will she leave once she knows who he is?

This story is based on the show version and features a soft on the inside, hard on the outside Aleksander with an emphasis on emotional hurt/comfort and angst. If you are looking for lots of hurt!Aleksander thoughts, then this story is for you. Mal exists but pretty much solely to cause Aleksander some angst. Don’t worry. It will be a Darklina ending.

Chapter 1 is a missing scene at the end of Ep 4, and Chapter 2 takes place alongside Ep 5 and then diverges from canon there.

Pairings: Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov, bits of Ivan/Fedyor

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Grisha are oppressed in this universe, and I don’t shy away from showing the horrors of that. There may eventually be mentions of canon-typical torture (Fjerdan pyres), death of family members, and cruelty to Grisha children. It’s not the focus, but that backdrop is definitely there and comes up as characters discuss their past.

In this chapter: Angsty Aleksander considers possibilities for handling Alina now that she knows the truth. Fedyor discusses his relationship with Ivan. This chapter is a deep dive into Aleksander's thoughts and emotions as he fears Alina will choose to be with Mal.

Chapter 13

Aleksander stared at his favorite painting in the war room. It was a vivid picture of the sky with a vibrant sun; the rays flooded down into the dark sea. He gently reached his hand up to touch one of the rays, but it was just paint on canvas. It couldn’t actually warm. He wondered if this was as close to sunlight as his war room would ever see again. Alina was with the tracker, and surely she was never coming back.

Oh he was trying to convince himself that she would realize the tracker was no match for her, perhaps if he just let them meet and talk it through she’d figure it out on her own, but he knew he was fooling himself. Without any real hope, he’d gone through the motions--summoned the tracker for her, given him accommodations in a suite even, allowed them to meet alone. Now it was late in the night and Ivan was guarding outside the suite. He’d promised to send word to Aleksander if their heartbeats changed, for any reason. Aleksander tried not to think about that even as the image of the tracker putting his hands all over her body refused to leave his mind. Perhaps she would remember he’d been kind in 50 years when she realized the mortality of the tracker. Maybe it would only be 30. The tracker certainly couldn’t hold her attraction for long.

But if she chose the tracker, there was the dilemma of what to do about her power, and that was why he was already on his second bottle of kvas. He knew what needed to be done, but he wasn’t sure that his heart could do it. He would have to force her to use her power the way they needed. There really was no choice. The lives and safety of all Grisha depended on their powers. It wasn’t something he could just give up because she had a crush on her little mortal friend. The tracker would never agree to any of his plans, and Alina would listen to him. Aleksander was very much regretting not choosing that army accident for the tracker, but then there was the matter of possibly needing him for the Stag, which Alina had to have for anything to go right. Aleksander sighed and refilled his glass. Truly, the choices were going to end up being manipulating her into using her power as he saw fit or trusting David’s idea of how to get control of it. To manipulate her, he would have to use the tracker, which meant letting her be with him now. And, of course, there was still that unlikely possibility she might actually pick him. It was a laughably remote possibility, but his heart wouldn’t let him make choices that closed that option off.

He had been playing this game of long chess for centuries. He was well accustomed to making the difficult choices, to realizing you had to sacrifice something that meant a great deal to you to make it to the end game. This game was different, though. Everything changed when you truly loved one of the pawns and wanted to make her your queen.

He tried to focus his attention back on the painting, but all Aleksander could see was the look of hatred in Alina’s eyes when she called him the Black Heretic. All he could hear was her screaming about all he had done wrong. How would she look at him if he collared her and took control of her with David’s idea? How much worse might it be if he threatened to kill the oh-so-precious Mal to get her to do what he wanted? But he didn’t want any of those things. He wanted her to choose him, to help him defend all Grisha, together. The possibilities of how things might go if she didn’t wouldn’t leave his mind. He had seen now how she stared at him when she was filled with hate. Could he bear her looking at him like that to protect Grisha? Could he bear failing all Grisha just to get her to smile at him again? It was enough to fill his eyes with tears and make his jaw tremble, but even here, alone, protected in his office, he could not let himself let those walls down and feel. He was too dangerous when he let himself become overtaken with emotions.

A knock at the door startled him. It was well into the night. No one would come to disturb him … unless Ivan had sent them with news of Alina’s heartbeat. Was she having sex with the tracker right now? Surely the tracker hadn’t hurt her. He wouldn’t dare in his palace. Aleksander strode across the room to answer the door.

“Fedyor?” Aleksander’s voice rose with surprise. He paused a moment for the heartrender to explain his presence, but the man seemed quite flustered that he’d actually answered the door. “I do recall giving you specific instructions to get some rest because I might need you to guard Alina in the morning.”

“Um, yes, about that …”

Aleksander waited. Fedyor opened his mouth to speak several times, grimaced apparently at the words he was about to form, and then closed his mouth again. Aleksander raised an eyebrow in question but then tried to clear his head enough to analyze the behavior. The blush to Fedyor’s cheeks said he was embarrassed and it was clearly about something he didn’t want to admit. “You can’t sleep without Ivan,” he guessed.

Fedyor scrunched his face and shrugged his shoulders with unease. “I can’t sleep without Ivan,” he confirmed. “And if you’re truly going to need me in the morning, then you should know. But then I thought that if I am having trouble sleeping without Ivan, you might be missing Alina too. And maybe you might like some company? Ivan was worried about you.” He paused and shook his head. “Yeah, I hear myself now. I’ll show myself out.”

“You’re drunk!” Aleksander laughed. “You missed Ivan so much that you got yourself drunk.” And, yet, he was doing the exact same thing.

“A wee bit,” Fedyor said, holding up his fingers a small distance apart. “Am I going to be in trouble for not sleeping? I am in for it with Ivan if I upset you.”

Aleksander grabbed Fedyor by the arm and guided him in. “I should definitely reprimand you for disobeying orders,” Aleksander agreed. “Keep drinking with me and I will forget to do it.” He pulled a second glass from his desk drawer. It would have been Alina’s glass. Screw it all. He could work on having a well-oiled Grisha military machine that instantly obeyed any order tomorrow. Tonight, he actually could use the company.

“Drone on and on for me about the virtues of Ivan? Perhaps you will keep me distracted.” Aleksander tossed back his drink and then filled two glasses.

“You really love her that much, huh, sir?”

“We aren’t talking about me. We are talking about you and Ivan.” Aleksander tried to redirect, but his own thoughts were all over the place. “Did Ivan actually say he was worried about me?”

“He cares about you a great deal, sir. He’d prefer you to think he’s just a good soldier that has perfected anticipating your orders, but he considers you a friend. And, yes, he’s quite worried Alina will break your heart.”

His heart had been broken a long time ago, from betrayal after betrayal, from losing Luda, from seeing friend after friend die, from seeing his people suffer so severely for so long. Alina had just been the only one who could reach inside and hold together the pieces. Rather than cry about it, he had another drink. “You are not keeping up.”

Fedyor’s smile said he was more than happy to meet that challenge.

“Who else knows?”

“About …?”

“Miss Starkov not being in here. Have people started noticing?” It was silly to worry about bearing that humiliation. He was ancient. He could endure a few mortals noticing his girlfriend had left him. A few growls, maybe a few shadows at dinner time, and they would all snap into line and stop gossiping. Really, he had much bigger concerns to be worrying about, but perhaps because he did not want to think through those concerns any longer, he found it easier to focus on this problem that could potentially be solved.

Fedyor shook his head. “I have not heard gossip, sir, and believe me, when the Little Palace starts gossiping, I know. It’s not uncommon for the two of you to keep to your chambers and avoid meals. Only Ivan, Innessa, and I have been guarding her to know where she’s going. I think it will be a while before anyone notices anything amiss. Nadia would probably be the first because of her closeness with Alina. I could have her stationed at …”

“No,” Aleksander interrupted with a raised hand. “No, she is a good friend to Alina. In fact, I should encourage them to spend more time together. Give Alina a friend that is her future and not her past. Someone who lifts her up. Could you arrange for Nadia to invite Alina for some girl time or something tomorrow?” Perhaps that would get her away from the tracker. “Maybe Genya too.” He sighed heavily. “Unless Alina has realized Genya spies for me. I forgot to disclose that to her. I am going to be realizing things I hid and half truths I told her for some time. She thinks we should be 100% open and honest with each other on absolutely everything. Can you imagine?”

Fedyor nodded. “She does have a point. That is the best way for a relationship. It sounds hard, but there is something to be said for someone knowing you through and through to your core and still loving all of you the same.”

The words wounded as deep as the Cut could. Aleksander narrowed his eyes and stared at Fedyor with such anger, it was almost as if his gaze could cut back. Fedyor squirmed in his seat until he finally added, “Sorry, sir.”

“It’s fine,” Aleksander said. The pain was real, but it wasn’t Fedyor’s fault. Aleksander had thought Alina loved him. It was in her kisses, in her smile when he told a joke, in the way they made love. He had been so stupid to think that might mean that he could have what others had--true love, acceptance. He had thought that the problem with finding a true partner was his immortality. Alina had the potential to solve that issue, and it could have been amazing. He had almost forgotten he had centuries of shame that no one could ever possibly accept. It had never gone well when he had tried to confide in a friend along the years. The Black Heretic could never be forgiven. Ivan knew, but he was the exception, and Ivan accepted it only because he had seen so much horror in his own life. Aleksander was so dumb to think that Alina might possibly be able to accept him to his core, as Fedyor had said. Her rejection of his true self cut deep inside. It was a wound that would bleed and ache for centuries as he tried to learn how to function with her without her love. He could not blame her. His core was so dark, his mistakes so heinous, how could she possibly accept any of that? She had seen through to his core and hated what she saw there. Who could blame her?

“We are not drinking enough for this conversation,” he said while refilling their glasses and trying to shake off his dark thoughts.

“For what it’s worth, Ivan thinks you should just hold Alina down, force the Stag on her, and use David’s trick to gain her power. Then you don’t have to worry about her heart. I don’t know how he can say that. He would never do that to me. I don’t know why he expects you to be able to do it to her.”

“Ivan knows that the lives of all Grisha are dependent upon our using her power. We are trapped by the Fold, and our enemies are coming for us. Even our own people are turning on us. We need her to be able to protect all Grisha from persecution, death. He has seen … what happens when we don’t have that. And he knows that if we were to somehow lose control of her, her power, then they would come for us. He thinks we shouldn’t let the slaughter of all Grisha depend on a young woman’s whims, and he’s not wrong.”

“But you refuse because you love her?” Fedyor’s love for a good romance showed in his voice, even in his eyes.

“I love her,” Aleksander said without hesitation. “But even I would struggle to justify refusing for that reason alone. Using an amplifier to transfer power is a theory. Untested. We don’t actually know what that would do. What if it hurts her? What if it hurts her power, diminishes it? We cannot risk losing Alina’s power or the Stag. That amplifier is too rare to take chances with. Until David’s technique is proven, we cannot take the chance. I’ve authorized him to begin developing it. I will let him test it on a willing subject, but not Alina. I have a guard whose Grisha power never developed. He is a good man, and he is willing to sacrifice for our cause. His partner is Grisha. David will see if he can get it to work with a minor amplifier with them. Then, we shall see.”

“That is well thought out, sir.”

Aleksander shrugged. Thinking, strategizing, planning, those were his strengths. Love? This was all foreign to him, but not to Fedyor. Aleksander had an expert in a solid relationship right in front of him. “So tell me, Fedyor, if you needed to use Ivan’s power to save all Grisha, what would you do?”

“Then I would talk to him about it, sir.”

“And if that didn’t persuade him?”

“Then I guess I would talk some more. I cannot imagine … forcing, that would never work.”

Aleksander sighed. Fedyor was right, of course. Alina would never forgive him for forcing her if it came to that. It was just that it was the fate of all Grisha on their shoulders. “And if he preferred to just sleep with another man instead?” That stupid tracker would be the ruin of everything.

“Then I think I’d probably kill him.” Fedyor laughed. “The other man, that is. Heart attack seems perfectly appropriate in those circumstances.”

“That, I’m sure, could be arranged.” They both laughed. Better to fantasize about the tracker’s death than let his pain, loss, stress, and worry consume him.

The creak of someone in the hall pulled Aleksander’s attention. Ivan was guarding Alina and the tracker. With Fedyor with him, he wasn't sure who else might come to his chambers so late in the night. Just as he was signaling the danger to Fedyor, she appeared in the doorway and instantly took his breath away.

“Alina …” He hadn't expected to see her this evening, certainly not so late. What could it mean? Was she there to tell him off some more? To announce her plans with the tracker? The thought made him feel ill.

Her eyes took in the state of the office--empty bottles of kvas everywhere, a very drunk Fedyor jumping to greet her then stumbling back. “Okay, what is this?” She laughed as she tried to help Fedyor back to his chair. “I have to know what is happening here.”

Ivan appeared right behind her shoulder, only steps behind. “It appears General Kirigan is trying to get my husband drunk.”

“Or am I trying to get General Kirigan drunk so he stops stressing about what Alina is doing?” Fedyor slurred a few of the words. He flashed a big smile as he tapped his head as if he had this brilliant idea no one else had thought of.

“Sir, do you want me to stay with her or return to the tracker?” Ivan checked.

“Oh this is ridiculous!” Alina interrupted before he could even think it through. “Mal has been asleep for hours, he's not hurting anyone, and we don't need a babysitter. Let Ivan get Fedyor to bed to sleep this off. He is going to need it.”

She knew he never allowed her without a guard. Did that mean she was staying? He couldn't let his heart hope. He tried to read her intent before he finally turned to Ivan and nodded his approval. Ivan had to half carry Fedyor out the door.

“I didn't expect to see you tonight,” he whispered once they were alone.

“It's your turn to sleep,” she said matter-of-factly.

“You would still …?”

“Were the nightmares fake?”

He shook his head slightly to say no even as the shame of his weakness flooded over him. He wasn't sure how he could even fake something like that. “You know now what drives them.”

“And I really make them better?”

He gave a sharp nod. Her warmth was the only thing that kept them at bay.

“Then I'm here.”

“What does the tracker think of that?” He should hold his tongue, accept what she was offering, but he couldn't help wondering if she had been with him. Surely Ivan would have mentioned it if the tracker got her heart racing. Had his lips been on her? She was Aleksander’s soulmate, and she had spent the start of the night with another man.

“Mostly he thinks I should cut your head off in your sleep. I'm working on discouraging that.”

She wouldn’t. He knew that. She clearly meant it as a joke. “Do you love him?” The words were out before he could stop himself. The kvas was loosening his tongue, he realized. He knew better than to ask questions he didn’t want to hear the answer to.

She was taken aback. “He is my … home, family, support … comfort.” She was struggling to describe it.

There were a lot of words missing there, important words--passion, happiness, love, partner. Didn’t she notice that? “He makes you think that you are not enough, but you are. He holds you back, and you let him.”

She sighed. “I didn’t come here to fight about Mal. Maybe you need to sleep this off too.”

He wanted to push, to make her realize how wrong the boy had always been for her, how he had hurt her, held her back, likely without ever even intending to. But he also didn’t want to irritate her and didn’t want her to leave. “I’m sorry.”

She nodded. “Come on, let’s get you to sleep. A few hours at least, and then you can fetch Ivan to guard me again.”

It felt awkward somehow undressing in front of her now, but he certainly wasn’t sleeping in his kefta and leather. He turned his back as he removed them, but secretly, he hoped she was looking, remembering what they had, longing for it. He didn’t dare turn to glance behind his back to know, though. He feared if she was turned away, if she was repulsed by him now that she knew who he was, it would crush him. With his black sleeping robes on, he gave her warning before looking up. “Okay, I’m ready.”

She climbed into bed and motioned for him to join. It was almost as it had been before, except that everything important wasn’t. She didn’t trust him. He wasn’t sure if she even still loved him. Their bodies were the same, but he did not feel the same comfort in her as he pulled her to his chest. They were going through some of the motions to get him to sleep, but nothing was the same. There would be no sex. Tears filled his eyes as he truly realized all he had lost the moment she found out his true identity, not just the orgasm he would not have, but the intimacy with her, the connection with someone who could be a true partner, even the comfort of acceptance. She could turn on her warmth, but would it do the same thing if she was full of hostility towards him?

“Alina? I am sorry. And I love you.” Maybe it didn’t matter. It didn’t change anything at all, but he wanted her to know.

“I know,” she said and then softly leaned up to kiss his cheek. “I can feel that. I’m trying to figure out with you how to tell when something is real. Baghra made me doubt … everything. Your isolating me from Mal made me question all of your motives. But if I pay attention to our bond, I’m starting to be able to tell if you’re being genuine. So, we start over here, with my getting to know the real you and deciding what I think of the actual Aleksander. I’m working on forgiving you.”

He closed his eyes and thought through all of that. She hadn’t mentioned the Fold or being the Black Heretic again. Maybe she could, if not forgive, at least understand how that happened now. Perhaps she could accept who he was. Was that even possible? She was angry he had lied. She felt he had tried to isolate her. He supposed he had, but not truly isolated; he had encouraged the friendships with Nadia and poor Marie and Genya. He had tried to isolate her from her past so she could move on to her future, to shed the things that held her back. If the letters to Mal hadn’t been so self-depreciating, apologetic for being Grisha, perhaps he might have permitted a visit earlier. She felt betrayed because he had lied, kept things from her, and manipulated her. He couldn’t exactly deny that, but he had tried to manipulate her to accept herself, to be happy. It was clear, though, she did not appreciate being treated that way.

“I’m trying to be better for you,” he whispered. He knew he could never deserve her. He had made too many mistakes, done too many dark things, and was truly filled with darkness himself. And she was light. The tears that had been filling his eyes finally slipped out as the guilt of all of his mistakes weighed heavily on his heart. “You make me want to be better.”

“Aleksander …” she whispered, her voice full of worry. Because of their bond, she could likely feel the pain in him, all the regret. She looked up at him and reached to brush the tears away. “I know you are. I can feel it. I appreciate it.”

She pressed her forehead to his and just sat there, breathing with him, letting the power flow and call between them, bringing all the emotions back and forth for a while. She was confused, but she cared. Deep in there was this tiny thread of hope.

He wanted to make her happy again. He had made her happy once, hadn’t he? All those smiles and laughs. He could do it again if she was willing to give him a chance. He would try his best to be what she needed. Full honesty and openness were not things he was good at. His entire life he had been forced to lie to everyone out of necessity, for survival. But he would try for her. He would do anything to bring that lightness back to her heart. “I’ll be better. I’ll make you smile again.”

She shifted their bodies and pulled him to her chest for a change. The slow beating of her heart calmed him as she ran her fingers steadily through his hair. “Shh, shh, shh. No more worries tonight. Go to sleep. Just go to sleep. I’m here. Just rest.”

She’d chosen to be with him and not the tracker. She was here. It was all that mattered. Together, they could do anything.

#aleksander x alina #kirigan x alina #alina x aleksander #alina x kirigan #aleksander morovoza #alina x darkling #aleksander morozova #general kirigan #the darkling #darklina

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theimaginatrix27 · 2 years ago

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AU August: Tuvix lives, but at what cost?—Star Trek: Voyager

So this one I came up with a couple years ago, when I found out (I know this took me forever, I didn't move in those circles for ages) that a lot of people were super super conflicted about the Tuvix episode of Star Trek: Voyager.

My thoughts on the problem, before we get into it: I'm a Dragon Ball fan, moreover one who was very happy when Vegeto, and much muuuuuuch later Kibito Kai, defused when their fusions were believed to be permanent. Tuvix was a fusion. And I liked, and still like, both of his component characters. Yes, he wanted to exist. He never stopped existing. There is part of me that wishes Tuvok and Neelix at least remembered being fused, but I like them as separate entities.

That being said, if I could have had both Tuvix and his components when all was said and done, yes, I'd have been open to that. And although this will never canonically happen because those episodes were made in the fucking 90s, I did come up with a couple quick ideas for how it could happen, without there being any random tech additions to Voyager at the time to facilitate it.

Today's option is the angsty one, and I don't have the heart to attempt writing it out, hence its presence in AU August. But I'll throw it into the Tumblrsphere because sometimes I lack self-preservation skills.

The AU starts at any point between the whole Tuvix thing and the S4 thing where Kes left the cast and also yeated them 9000 lightyears toward home, for reasons that will become clear very shortly.

Voyager is flying through space when a battered shuttle approaches, apparently of Starfleet origin. They hale them. Tuvix appears on screen. He looks like shit.

"Captain Janeway."

"Tuvix," she says simply, while thinking How the hell is this real?

"Is there a version of me aboard Voyager, or did you choose to separate me?"

She doesn't answer, but Tuvok moves forward so he can be seen on Tuvix's screen.

Tuvix manages to hold it together long enough to say five more words.

"You made the right decision." Then he bursts into tears.

They allow his shuttle to dock, and he is a mess. He has injuries they need to take him to sickbay to treat, and while he's there they get the whole story. He's from an alternate timeline where Janeway chose to let him live, but Kes's grief over losing Neelix induces her powers to come into their full earlier than in canon, and while they're trying to deal with that, Voyager is attacked by someone (it doesn't matter who) and only Tuvix and an unstable Kes survive. At which point Kes expends all her life-force yeating Tuvix into another timeline (maybe spacetime is unstable in that area as well? I have not thought this through enough.)

So Tuvix lives on, but as the title of the post states, he's nigh crippled by survivors' guilt and blames himself for Voyager's destruction.

I could never write this and do it full justice. This level of angst is still beyond me at this point and just the thought of it makes me wanna hug him and let him cry all over my shoulder and tell him everything will be all right. And that's not what such a fic premise needs. If you want to sell this, it has to be done well.

Anyways, that's today's angsty AU done. Tomorrow, I will give you Tuvix Makes Three, the not-nearly-as-angsty alternative.

#ST:VOY #Tuvix #AU August #Tuvix Survives At What Cost #Honestly if you wanna adopt this and then torment me with beautifully-written angst-laden prose go right the fuck ahead

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obriengf · 3 years ago

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It's so hard to pick a single fic but ahhh I'm gonna go with 4, 9, 11 for Freaky Friday!

thank you for sending one in, my love, and thank you for choosing this particular fic!!

FREAKY FRIDAY - STILES X READER

4. What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Oooohh, it's hard to choose because I have favourite chunks of dialogue between characters. It's either between "She doesn’t believe in herself as much as she should, but I can see it. I want to be the person to show her just how strong she can be.” or “Just that next time maybe you shouldn’t trust that weird goth kid that hangs outside of the pharmacy dealing out fake ibuprofen.”

9. Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Yes, definitely. I wrote it with the intention of it being a comedy, like an episode of a sitcom how something vaguely bad happens, resulting in the body swap, but they change it back quickly. It wasn't going to be more than 3k. Now, it is angsty and over 7k. So that's a massiivvve difference.

11. What do you like best about this fic?

I like that with the big word count, it all flows nicely together. I like how the different scenes have been set and they transition well. I love the character interaction... my favouirte part - not just between Stiles and the reader, but between the pack as well, especially with Sheriff!! And of course the descriptions. I don't usually like to talk up my fics but I am immensely proud of this one.

SEND ME NUMBERS AND A FIC

#answered #stiles stilinski #stiles stilinski x reader #teen wolf

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life-rewritten · 4 years ago

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GIFTS OF BL! AKA CHRISTMAS GOODIES FOR BL FANS WHO LOVE ANGST, PASSION AND CHEMISTRY.

Merry Christmas BL Fans. I've been trying to be a bit more festive on here, and so I've decided to write out a gift box for every BL fans full of Christmas goodies and suggestions you might want to see based on different tropes, genres and plots in case you haven't caught up with them. Or just my opinions and ranks of some of my favourite BLS that are incredible for each category. So Yes I am a weird person who views suggestions as presents. Finding a new show with all the things I love that remind me of certain other shows that I already love is like a gift to me, I love binge-watching shows that make me happy, excited and is an emotional journey, for me the gift is falling in love with many other plotlines and finding a new passion that inspires or makes me happy just at the thought of the show. That's a great gift. So if you're like me here is the first Gift Box: Merry Christmas :) let me know what you think about these shows, are there other's you've seen? Add them to the box so we can all find new shows to love. Enjoy:

GIFT OF BL! The passionate, angsty and chemistry lovers.

Ahh yes, it's those type of shows, those shows where you find your self obsessed and crying over the incredible and crazy love story between two hot-headed people who are meant to be together but for some reason instead, they hate each other. I mean are we surprised? Haters to lovers always have this incredible sizzling fire on fire chemistry that is explosive at worst but also delicious to consume at best. They are the ride or dies, they're the fighters, they're the shouters, but they're always meant to be together. And not all angsty couples have to be haters to lovers, some on this list aren't, they're drawn to each other, by some inexplicable thing. This soulmate connection isn't as warm/ soft as you want it to be, but it's more firey and loud, it's in your face, and it makes you jealous because once they fall in love and learn about each other, it's unconditional and so effective. These kinds of couples form bonds where they need each other? At some path in their life, the other person is their person, to help them grow, to help them learn, to accept their flaws, to love themselves, to heal, to trust etc. This kind of bond all the time leads to something so beautiful and also an exciting experience worth always rewatching time and time again. And suppose you're like me and you love depth. In that case, these couples and plots normally have so much subtext and depth in their stories; people feel turned off at first by their surface interactions because the characters usually are incredibly flawed but actually you get to see a journey with them as they grow and become better. That's something I enjoy with all these shows, we learn so much about them, they feel real, flawed, messy but also just so exciting to analyse and question as well. By the end of the show, you're either emotionally exhausted in a right way about the love they have, or you're crying so hard because they found each other and became the best versions of themselves through it all.

Sorry, these type of shows are my favourite to discuss. And if you're like me, then I hope this list is a gift box for you to explore and find new loves in case you haven't watched some of these. Or nostalgia just to remember shows like these that touched you and made you so happy. Let's discuss about it.

Tharn and Type

Haha if no one knows me, you won't understand how obsessed I am with this show. For me, this show for both seasons is everything I want and more. Which is weird because this show can be viewed as an uncomfortable experience; toxicity, questioning about some moral issues, non-consensual confusion etc. The righteous me feels weird every time I have to recommend this show to people because it's very polarising. So I'll start first by saying the trigger warnings: there are conversations about r*pe, and non-consent in this show, questions about abuse and predatory behaviours in the show. If this really triggers you, this isn't a gift for you, and I get it.

But whilst on the surface this show seems like another toxic version of what makes BL hard to watch, with those tropes, I think people tend to misjudge this couple's story a lot. There are issues with the writer, and it depends again what your stance is on it. But for Me the reason why Tharn and Type are on here is because it's a ride, I think it's an incredibly written show, with fantastic acting despite the novelty of the actors, an amazing director and production despite the small budget and an amazing plot despite the first few episodes confusion/discomfort. This story is incredible, with a lot of layers. If you are someone who loves layers, psychological conversations about nature vs nurture, if you are someone who enjoys plot twists, and character arcs and development this show is for you. This couple will take your breath away; this couple will break your heart and repatch it over and over again with their longing, chemistry and love.

At the end of the day, Tharn and Type is a love story at the core, about two flawed people who find a love that gives: healing, comfort and strength. Some people don't see it like that but the way these two love each other, the journey they go through with each other even in the sequel is still amazing to watch and enjoy if you get it. It's why there are so many essays and analysis derived from this show; it's not us being Mame warriors as people would call it, it's us seeing what the story is showing, bringing out the forgotten details to light, making sure people understand the message of the show.

All people see in this show is fighting and then passion, but that's not what this show is about, it has angst the characters are authentic and flawed as humans are. Still, at the core, it has love, sweetness and a soulmate connection that makes you question everything about love and also want something like it ( I know CRAZY). It's like weird for me to say I want to find my Tharn to my Type, but somehow it makes sense, I really adore these twos love, and for some people, it's not like that, and that's okay. But for some others, this show is a gift, and if you're like me who always feels conflicted about some stories in BL lacking passion, chemistry, structured plots, with twists that make you have to rewatch time and time again, then this show is for you. It gives you everything you want in both seasons. But only if you are open-minded enough to see it.

Why it's a gift: The passion, the angst, the haters to lovers, the chemistry, the naturalness of the actors, the soft sweet moments that make you envious, the plot oh the plot, the excitement and conflicting feelings, the questions it brings, the discussion it gets, the love story at the core. It's everything for people like me For others: Others will love the chemistry and the passion between the two actors, may not see the message and view it as a guilty pleasure and may be triggered by many conversations in the show. But all in all, if you stick with this show, it'll always end up being a good show no matter what you feel about it. In terms of representation: I've seen a lot of LGBTQ who have appreciated Tharn and Type because of it's the courage to tackle specific topics on tv, some have praised the naturalness and focus on a character like Type who is incredibly flawed but incredibly understood because of his circumstance, a real character who makes mistakes, is stubborn, rude and angry but grows and learns to accept himself as he falls for Tharn.

Why R U

Another absolute incredible gift. Except warning, not the show haha. I honestly believe with my whole heart that this show would have been everything in 2020 had it been directed by better people, edited better and COVID didn't happen. This is why this show is like such a pain to me because I love this show so much, this show made me move on from my obsession with the previous s and found a new show like it which I wasn't expecting. And yet I still advise people not to watch the show.

The gift box here is to watch this show as an edit. So here is a present for you if you haven't seen this show, watch this (1-hour summary) modification of one of the couples in the show, and it'll make you so emotional. And then you can decide if you want to watch this show fully. The reason why I can't recommend the show to people is that I was not too fond of the cringe humour, the loud sound effects, the cuts in the story and the lack of attention to the other side characters.

But for Fighter and Tutor, I would die for this show. This show brought a gift to BL, and that's Saint and Zee as a couple. It's incredible. They are electric to watch on the screen, and they made me fall for this couple even more. But honestly, the reason why I love these twos story is again the plot; It's funny because again like the previous show, this show had a lot of subtexts and hidden depth others didn't understand, people again assumed from on the surface tit was a show about fighting and lust but it wasn't. It tackled the same conversations; internalised homophobia and how it affects you and shapes your actions, it showed a hater to lovers story where two people found comfort, strength and hope with each other. It had two flawed and exciting characters that you couldn't help but fall for. If I loved Tharn and Type previously, I've never wanted a love story the way I want what Fighter and Tutor have.

I mean it's incredible, the way Fighter shows up for Tutor in this show, their effect on each other as they fall in love, they're each other's catalyst to growth and hope, whether it's Fighter learning to fight for what he wants and choose his path for himself, confront his father and become less suffocated from the life he thought he had to live or to overcome his internalised homophobia that was slowly killing him, or it's Tutor learning to trust in life again, and growing strong and finding someone to lean on when he thought he had no one, or him finding his strength also to fight for what he wants, to become vulnerable and let people in, to hope for a new path and happiness. This show broke me. Honestly, these two are a gift for people who love passionate stories.

There is a plot there's so many hints and subtext to their love story, how they've both loved each other secretly for so long. Still, because of fear and homophobia they didn't act on it and turned it to hate for a while, how once they accept their feelings and become brave they know they're each other's forever, they're so pulled and obsessed with each other. And Tutor! Tutor is an incredible lead, he's sassy, he's confident, he doesn't take nothing from others, he doesn't let himself be in a toxic situation, he's powerful and incredible, and I loved watching him on screen. And Fighter may be annoying on the outside, but he's soft, melty, vulnerable and such a great boyfriend when he accepts what he feels for Tutor. Their love is incredible. It's unbelievable, so if you haven't seen this show click on the link and cry and fall in love.

Link Here Enjoy

Why it's a gift: It's a show you will fall in love with for these two, there's another couple you'll also fall in love with for different reasons, but for Fighter and Tutor their chemistry, angst and passion is so exciting to see. The way they fall for each other is also incredible; this show never fails to have moments that tug at heart and make you envious of what these two have, again this show has a completely rounded plot for these two, it's a romantic comedy, their edit is like watching a great movie and being affected. The show is also packed full of amazing actors, music and scenes that you won't want to forget. If you love skinship, SaintZee are kings of showing passion on the screen, mostly also unscripted, they became Fighter and Tutor entirely, and you can see their love ooze from them, and their longing drives you insane. But that's what an extraordinary, passionate story does. It makes you lose your minds at how great these two are, how breathtaking they can be and how much their love makes your heart melt and also race because it's like fireworks, explosive and beautiful and worth the view.

For others: This show may seem generic since it's set in a university and it's engineering (I'm afraid I have to disagree when people say stuff like this), the actual show directing is weird, it's cringy, and you may be turned off and distracted from these two's plot because it's not put together properly. There are moments that you may not clock on like the past flashbacks and what they are trying to tell you about these twos dynamic: so many people didn't get that they loved each other from the first time they saw each other but refused to accept it especially Fighter who pretended to hate Tutor because it was the only way to avoid what he was feeling for a while. There is a very long version of a beach vacation that seems like there's no plot. Still, it's just showcasing how in love these two are, and how much they realise what they have with each other, how much all their pent up attraction is finally exploding and showing at the surface i.e. they can't get enough of each other. It makes it all the more painful later when they have to break up because they literally can't part with each other, they need the other's touch, presence and more to feel safe and comfortable. If you love skinship; the beach scenes are the best moments for you, you will scream at how natural these two are. But you may just think that's all they have. In terms of representation: There are conversations about accepting who you are, and internalised homophobia is a big obstacle for Fighter and Tutor they learn to accept themselves as they fall in love. Fighter is incredible standing up to his father later and fighting for Tutor. It's just a great BL that people can watch as a romantic story and get lost in for a while, it's romantic, passionate and it doesn't feel uncomfortable or unnatural, there's a plot, and it has a happy ending. A perfect show to get away from stresses and reality for a while. That's why I love it.

Mood Indigo

Enough of the happy love stories that have happy endings; Suppose you love painful soulmate bittersweet endings with angst and passion. Mood Indigo is for you. Oh My When I say my heart broke so much because of this show, I mean it. My heart was damaged, I felt sad, but instead of feeling defeated as I do with other BLs with unhappy endings, this was so incredible? It was tasteful, the angst is there, but it's not like the typical haters to lovers angst. It's more dramatic in a different way; it's also touching, and again, the chemistry of the main characters is incredible and will make you scream.

You're rooting for them to make it, you're hoping they choose each other and yet you oddly understand despite being upset at how it ends. This a prequel to another series called the Novelist, you can watch both these two, and it would be a great time. The actors are incredible as with Japanese shows, the storyline is exciting, and as a writer, it's touching, and there are moments where it makes you want to cry. It doesn't feel as depressing as you think it would be (if you've watched the sequel) it feels oddly healing and real. If you like couples with immense longing, and passion for each other, with more self-discovering and deep conversations about themselves, this show is for you. Skinship and love are also more tasteful, and it doesn't feel lustful or crass. It feels like watching art, that's all I can say. And it does have a semi-happy ending depending on whose perspective you watch from; I've watched from both, I've cried at the Novelist because of both, I've also squealed at seeing one of the characters get healing and closure. I've smiled, but I've also watched another beautiful connection to grow. What these two have is special despite how they ended.

Why it's a gift? Realism and a lot of reflections and questions. If you like deep stuff this is for you, add a spice of chemistry and passion, and it's so beautifully done. Not all love stories need a happy ending, but there are some bonds worth finding and making and Kido and Kijima is one of those. Also if you're not a fan of happy fantasy endings and closures, this is for you, this is very real, bittersweet and it hit the right notes. It's worth watching and deciding how you feel about it.

For others: The story does feel slow as with a lot of Japanese BLs, sometimes you may miss out on the deep meanings and reflections the show brings so it may feel more moody and gloomy for no reason. If you love happy endings, then this may not be for you. You may end up disliking the actions of Kido or Kijima and may end up not understanding why people root for them and cared about their relationship.

In terms of representation: This tackles again you guessed it internalised homophobia, (IH) it's the biggest thing BLs like to tackle, this is more realistic and deep. It's very practical about life, and it's just a great show; cast, production and story that showcases an LGBTQ relationship.

History Trapped

Crime and mystery with a side of Passion, Angst and Haters to lovers?? You have History Trapped. This is just incredible. I remember judging at first because I was hesitant about how good it could be. But No, I loved History Trapped. I think it's one of the Best BLs out there, that does what it says it will do, it has an exciting plotline that you can follow and immerse your self in, but the love story is also at the core. I love all the actors in this show, and their chemistry is ridiculous, many scenes left me smiling and grinning from ear to ear. I love how the story is an angsty love between a cop and a gangster-like it's so funny to see how their two groups react to the love they have. I love the revelations and plot twists in the show, we have an exciting plot trying to uncover the mystery of the death between two people both connected different ways to our main couple. It's so good because it's just a nice story overall. The plot is good. The acting is good. The love story is good. And like every hater to lovers, the character reveals, and arc is deep and interesting to unfold. I also think the side couple is good in this show, also passionate and interesting to watch. Also 20 EPISODES?? Damn, worth it, worth it all.

Why it's a gift A unique BL not set in highschool. Angsty, dramatic haters to lovers that is incredibly beautiful and enjoyable on screen. Their chemistry and passion are addicting to watch, and the actors are great. The plot for the main couple is well written, fleshed out and exciting to follow. It is a ride of emotions, and it'll make you obsessed. For others: I really don't know why people would dislike it. Maybe the low budget but I think it makes up for it with the plot and characters. I do think the side couple's story is not as fleshed out as the main but they're a good side couple that is nice to see on the screen. Maybe the ending? It's not the sweet fantasy happy ending you expect, and from this writer, I think it's a pattern so no shock, but it's not depressing or defeating. It's okay.

In terms of representation: I won't say this is like a serious story focused on LGBTQ and issues, but I think that's why I like it as with my other shows, the focus is on the plot, the mystery and the characters, once they fall in love that's it, there's no deep questions or denial about what they are, and I love that. (Not sure about side couple there may have been some questioning) and it's a story with an LGBTQ couple falling in love and choosing each other despite being from being different worlds and opinions on what's moral/righteous. That's why I love it.

I told sunset about you.

Oh, Hi, ITSAY. It seems like I can't forget you or move on from this show. Haha. I've written long paragraphs about the other shows, but I feel like for ITSAY I don't have even to explain it just watch it. It's worth everything, the production is exquisite, the acting incredible, plot: deep and outstanding, the passion, chemistry, longing and ANGST: Out of this world. Remarkably for a 5 episode show, this show's couple broke me, made me cry for hours and made me addicted and obsessed with them. They were perfect for each other, friends to haters to friends to lovers again. They were fireworks, explosions, and more. And this show was art. Everything was tasteful; everything had meaning; everything had a purpose. This show was the definition of meta, and it made me so happy to analyse. Five hours will go by with this show; it's a gift honestly the best thing I can recommend to you. You will scream and shout and cry and feel jealous, angry, crazy and then you'll feel elated. No other way to put it. Go watch this show if you haven't.

Why it's a gift: Acting: Outstanding Directing: Outstanding Plot: Outstanding Meta: Outstanding Everything: Outstanding

For others: This show may feel draggy to some who don't like over dramatics, a lot of crying, a lot of moping, a lot of angst, but it's done by incredible actors who do them well. The ending of the show feels incomplete because after all the drama, angst, even if it's a happy ending which is great, it felt weird, rushed and empty. Like it was missing something so that might be a bit anti-climatic for you. Still think the show is worth it.

In terms of representation: Again we have IH, but this time we focus on a coming of age storyline and view how people deal with the influx of feelings, how it makes you lose your self, find your self, and know your worth. The characters all grow after being flawed, they find themselves and learn and question their sexuality for a lot of people it's relatable, there are potent discussions in the show about this and meaningful moments and scenes that make it worth it and perfect for LGBTQ +

Many more gifts I can't explain:

Where your eyes linger: Korean, ANGSTY, Short and incredible. Will leave you feeling a lot of emotions. Worth the 80 minutes trust me: bodyguard and spoilt kid story. Longinggggg and repressed attraction it hurts.

Together with me: Not the next chapter, I would avoid the next chapter. But the first together with me? Worth it. Angsty friends to lovers, questioning of IH, and CHEMISTRY, actors who are incredible in real life and also on-screen with each other. A bond worth seeing. You can catch them also on Manner of Death which I also would recommend: same thing Angst, Drama, Chemistry, Passion, Murder, Mystery. Gah MaxTul are incredible.

Friendzone 2: Skinship for days. Chemistry for days. A messy story that you need to look at the subtext for days. Very interesting to analyse incredibly real and flawed characters who you get to see grow. Watch both Friendzone 1 and 2; you may end up hating the couples because it's messy; cheating, uncomfortable moralities, etc., but it's a ride I would never forget.

Night Flight: Oooo a movie, gloomy, moody, realistic and also artistic. Will make you cry for days but worth it—incredible acting, a deep storyline that will break you but also make you feel something. Passion in a very different way from the others, it's not about skinship but about the love these two find as they realise they are each other's key to freedom one way or another. The angst is crazy, the situation is scary, but it takes your breath away and touches your heart differently. I would recommend hundreds of times over and over again. It's everything to me honestly, and I don't like bittersweet endings. Trigger: questionable scene r*pe and bullying and mentions of su*cide.

Theory of Love: Angst, Angst, Angst! Pain and tears all in one but guess what it's a happy ending. Haha fooled you; based on a great book Flipped, about the pain of unrequited love turning requited, flawed 3D characters you'll hate then cry for then love. An incredible OST! And the chemistry that keeps you on your toes. Worth it too. Lots of crying and shouting.

Untamed/Mo Dao Zu Shi: Angst for days, love in the subtext, censored but worth it, acting is incredible, a great plot that's not just focused on the romance, fantasy and all things nice, drama and pain, crying and deep, extraordinary characters, 3D villains, will change your opinion on a lot of BLs, incredible directing, production and cast. Worth it. This is an actual gift for a BL fan like read the book. I'll link the translation here as a gift, read the manhua, watch the anime/donghua, listen to the non censored audio drama (my fave). This is an incredible experience. It's a true gift and will talk about it when more I write my gift box for anime and fantasy fans.

Link For Book here - Have a great time with this it’ll make you obsessed

So this Christmas period whenever you want an alone time, rewatch these shows, cry and scream at these shows if you love this type of shows. Obsess and find your self lost in these shows, analyse and ponder on the meaning of these shows. And distract your self with joy and happiness at these shows. I hope these shows also end up feeling like a gift to you. Angsty, passionate couples are just great to see; they require so much depth to their characters, natural actors who aren't uncomfortable with showing passion on-screen and are devoted to their craft, and incredible plotlines that make you question and learn things about your self. Maybe I'm being dramatic, and it's not that deep, but these shows were worth it, and I hope you find one or you rewatch one that makes you happy this Christmas. Feel free to discuss with me about these shows, what did you like about them, what are your opinions, which are your favourite, what other shows will you suggest let me know!

Other Recommendations

GIFTS OF BL FOR FANS WHO LOVE DISCUSSIONS OF REPRESENTATION

#thai bl #bl series #bl drama #tharntype #december #christmas #japanese bl #korean bl #why r u the series #fightertutor #i told sunset about you #itsay

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