#yes yes i know it's his body he can do whatever tf he wants

[shirtlessradfahrer]

watch him not perform or release Traffic, not give any album updates, force me to look at that for all three shows I’m attending and then immediately release the song, the album, and go back to black after I leave mid-July

[wannabeanotter]

FUCK STICK (BOTTOM TO TOP; FUCKBOY/JOCK TF)

Fucking tops. It's Friday, nearly midnight and instead of dancing I'm stuck in the washroom at a gay club, hiding from some shithead.

"Tops, right?"

Next to me is a tall guy in a flannel shirt. He's pretty hot, but, urgh, he's the last thing I want to be thinking of right now.

"Yeah," I try to sound chatty, but it's clear I'm pretty annoyed "How did you know?"

He turns to me and crosses his arms, grinning, "Oh, you know. What happened? I bet you have loads of guys chasing after you"

It's true. I mean, look at this ass

"Urgh. This guy grabbed me from behind and started grinding against me. Can you believe it?? He didn't even ask, all I did was wink at him."

"Hmphh, you winked at him? Sounds like he was giving you what you wanted. You know, all you bottoms are the same. Needy. Demanding. Seeing real men as just dumb grunting animals. Maybe that guy was trying to do you a favour?"

I groan and turn around to leave "Oh, fuck you." Just what I need, another smug shithead.

He heckles me from behind. "God, twinks like you are so fucking lame. Maybe we're fed up of being nagged all the time?". He sounds kinda angry, but I ignore him, and roll my eyes.

"You know what, grab your dick."

I freeze, and my eyes go wide with shock. Why am I so shaken? That's not the worst thing I've heard at a club. I try to move but I can't, I just sputter, "Wh- what?? I'm not doing that"

He grins, "I'm not asking"

I feel something pull against my pants, but I look down and see it's my own arm

"WHAT THE FUCK! Are you... you're doing this?" My arm creeps down, playfully running my fingers over my tight stomach, and slips down through my waist band.

"Haha, yeah I am bro. So, bottom bottom bottom. What to do with you. What if I open your eyes a little?"

I, I start to shake. Something in me feels good. Beefy guys start to flash through my mind, and whatever's taken over my hand knows what it's doing down there. Athletes, wrestlers, big bulges in tight clothes...

"Here's the thing. There's enough brats like you around here bro. Someone's gotta do something. Think of it like, uh, giving back to the community."

The images in my mind start to change. The models get smaller, swapping out athletes for tight twinks in tighter shorts. Instead of biceps, I'm thinking of big, curvy asses, and my hand... I can't control myself. I wanna grab someone, anyone, and start grinding.

But then, one of my crushes slides by - Jason, a HUGE wrestler on my college team. Biggest pecs I have seen in my life. Thank fuck, finally, a real man. He looks at me with his big, brown eyes and oh my god, my heart flutters. I look up at him and in my mind I start to walk towards him

The guy in the flannels shirt is egging me on, "Go on, do it." How does he know what I'm thinking? Whatever.

I reach out, and Jason smiles. That big, goofy, handsome grin... and then he turns around. He gets down on the mats, on his hands and knees, raising his big, firm ass into the air. I'm looking right at it.

I squirm. "Oh god. No. No no no no no"

"Uh, actually, yes." The guy in the washroom grins. "I want you to be a dumb, grunting animal, you will do that for me. Are you starting to understand?"

I lean down over the sink, but in my fantasy I fall against Jason. I hold him tight, pinning his big sweaty form down against the mats. At first, there's barely anything I can do to control him - he's WAY bigger than me, but soon I start to feel... bolder. Firmer. He tries to roll me over, but I slip my arm around his shoulder and a vein pops up over my bicep. My legs strain and my glutes start to stretch. Fuck, my whole body is throbbing.

I grunt, and slam him downwards, which gives moment to catch my breathe. Does he feel less sweaty? I wipe my forehead. Wait, am I more sweaty?

"Yeah bro. I know what you're thinking, I know how much you love guys after they've worked out. Damp clothes, that manly smell... it's exactly what every bottom wants these days. Now it's yours"

We twist around each other, and I reach my arms across his body. Wait, all the way around? His shoulders have gotten smaller, thinner... twinkier. And, well, mine are the opposite. He lunges, but I grapple him. All the mass has gone from his legs, meanwhile, my biceps are big enough to crack a skull.

"I want to make you a real fuckboy, you know? Someone who just thinks with his dick. Gym, sex, gym, sex, gym, sex... I want you to always be turned on, I want it to control you, I want you to never get a break."

I've got him, firm between my legs. Jason's tiny now, the same size I was 2 minutes ago, and I start to grind my bulge against his soft, bubbly ass. Fuck. Fuck! It's so good. This is the best fantasy I've ever had in my life. I want to fuck him so bad.

My whole body is throbbing, shaking. Blood is pulsing through my, through my everything. Fuuuuuck. I feel almost dizzy. Everything about this almost feels real. I go to lift up my shirt, but it's gone, and I run my other hand over my stomach. It's like I can really feel the abs

I cum. Oh my god, did I just cum in a... a washroom at a night club? And, I was thinking about topping a guy??

"Ahem". I turn to stare at the guy next to me. He looks pleased with himself. Very pleased.

"There bro! How do you look?"

I look in the mirror, and it hits me like a fucking brick. My body... my clothes. Oh my god, everything's gone. THAT WAS REAL? I look like some stupid fuckboy. Am I a stupid fuckboy? Is that a JOCKSTRAP? My jeans are gone, now just a pair of shorts. Very short shorts. Is that it? Is that all I'm wearing? Over the top of my huge pecs I see my converses are gone too, swapped out for some worn down gym shoes.

This can't be real. If it is, my boyfriend is 100% going to break up with me. How do I even explain this? That I'm like, ripped now? No, wait... that's not it. I try to imagine him topping me but, but, fuck, it feels so gross. A total turnoff

"Of course you don't want to let him top you. You're not a bottom anymore... that's kind of the whole point."

But he would never let me top him. But maybe we don't need to have sex for a while. That wouldn't be so bad, would it...

"AHAHAHA, sorry, with your new sex drive? What part of a fucking animal don't you understand"

There's no way he would want to stay with a horny fuckboy, but, but...

what if I am a stupid fuckboy? I'm already thinking of a nice, tight twink. I'm not that interested in him anyway - he's too tall, too beefy. All the guys I saw earlier are racing through my head. The skinny guy I danced with with the great ass, that cute short one by the bar... urgh, he had those perfect legs, that cute crop top, tight stomach... I bite my lower lip and reach down...

"NO!!"

I start hyperventilating. "This isn't me. I'm not a jock, I am ABSOLUTELY not a top. And," I lift up my arm, "there's no way I actually smell like this"

He laughs, like he's having the fucking time of his life. Maybe he is. "HAHA, sorry dude, yeah you do. And, yeah, you are. Think of that fuck stick like a gift, not just to you, but also to every cute boy you see on grindr. You'll get used to it, trust me"

His words flood my head... I imagine scrolling through the app in bed later, looking at the sea of boys all desperate for me... I reach down again...

"NO! Fuck! Make it stop. Why are you doing this to me?!!"

He pauses for a moment, then sighs and shakes his head. His expression... he's looking at me like he thinks I'm stupid. Does he think I'm stupid? No way - this motherfucker!

"Really? I know I fried a few wires up there dude, but you cannot seriously be asking that. Why do you think I'm doing it?"

"I - I..." I can't find any words. I really don't know. I just don't fucking get it. He's ruining my body, my LIFE, and for what? Fun? Revenge?

But he laughs, and looks at me. I'd think he was being pitiful if he wasn't grinning so fucking hard.

"Bro," he says, "I'm doing this because I think it's hot."

My heart sinks. "You're doing this because, because it fucking turns you on? Don't you give a shit about me at ALL?? I'm going to lose my boyfriend, I'm trapped in this horny, sweaty, disgusting body..."

"Just stop complaining. You know, so what if you don't get in a say in this! Sometimes you just gotta take what life gives you, and right now that's a huge fucking cock"

I feel like I'm about to burst out crying. He grabs my new, boyish face, and pulls it up towards his. "So, yah! Glad I could clear that up," he laughs, "Look, ok, this isn't gonna work if you're gonna be such a fucking loser about it. It's also not gonna work out if you don't work out - you gotta be going to the gym from now on. Those biceps, those pecs... you're chiseled like a statue and I'm not gonna let those new muscles go to waste. You need to be in there DAILY."

He gives my cheeks a squeeze, then lets me go. I clutch my face. It feels different, unfamiliar. Am I crying?

"URGH, bro, will you just quit looking at me like that. Puppy dog eyes, I shouldn't have made you so fucking handsome... Look, I'm gonna give you one last chance, ok: cheer up, right fucking now, or else I'm gonna have to do some rewiring. Right now, all your decisions are being made up there", he flicks my forehead, and then he smirks and grabs my crotch. "But, if I flick the switch, this guy gets to do all the thinking. You'll be so dumb, so horny, HAH, you'll be drooling over your own dick. A real fucking animal. Got it?"

If I don't get a grip, it's over for me. But what do I do? I gulp, and try to swallow my tears. I wash my face a little in the sink. He stares down at me, and the two of us stand in silence. It feels like forever, but it must have been just a minute.

I look up at him, and let out a squeak. "Yeah. You're right. I got it"

"No." he says "I don't think you do."

Damnnnnn, look at these pecs. Fuck, what was I doing? Whatever, I gotta get back out there. See if that blonde guy by the bar is taken. Just thinking of him and his ass makes me wanna... I grab my crotch, and let out a moan.

Wait, is that cum? Yoo how did I not realise. I clean myself up and slide my waistband back over my jockstrap, letting it snap into place against my cum gutters. I flex, and light shines off my glistening, sweaty muscles - if someone were to see me now, they'd think I was a greek statue. These strong, firm thighs, the perfect curve of my glutes... these shoulders look like they were made by fucking Michelangelo.

Nah, I'm way better than that. A statue doesn't have a dick. See you at the club, bro

[forsworned]

⠀⠀⠀˗ˏˋsexy stretching ft. johnny 'soap' mactavishˎˊ˗

꒰ঌa/n໒꒱ not my normal content but i told u guys i'd be doing whatever tf i want on this blog now, no longer putting limitations on what i feel like writing. enjoy for any fans of soap :) (edit: i went back and used a eng to scot slang traslator to make it a bit more accurate lmfaooo, so i hope that kinda helps)

꒰warning(s)heavily suggestive꒱

Trips to the gym on your days off were routine and habitual, nobody to join your sessions which was your own doing. It felt distracting to have a gym partner. if you needed to be spotted, you'd just ask the nearest soldier. Simple. No fuss, no muss. This time, however, Soap had decided that he wanted to yoke in on your excursion to the facility. 

"C'mon, ye never lemme join." He whined, as he paced behind you trying to match up to your quick stride. Always in a hurry, always with purpose.

You exhaled softly through your nostrils as you peered over at his sheepish grin and stopped in front of him. He looked absolutely mouth-watering in his white compression short sleeve tee that carved into every muscle of his body and hugged his delicious arms, his dark grey 5in shorts clung to his slutty waist that he paired with a matching set of compression shorts that peaked underneath. "I never let anyone join me."

"Sae, lemme be th' first." He beamed, adjusting the strap of his duffel bag on his shoulder. You could only roll your eyes as you silently agreed and he could honestly jump for joy at this point. There was no use in telling declining him because he wouldn't shut up about it until you did anyways. It wasn't that you couldn't say no to him, but something about the way he would flash you that cute grin, thick dark lashes that framed his cerulean eyes that didn't allow room for a 'no' from you. Some part of you felt like Johnny knew that. Using his charm and witty, suggestive comments to win you over. It wasn't hard, like, at all.

You dropped your duffel bag with an unceremious thud and began your stretches, Soap mimicking your every move. Another huff left your lips.

His dimples deepened as he chuckled. "What? We're s’pose t’be partners."

"Alright, jeez..." You ran a hand through your hair as you grabbed a mat and set it on the ground. "Make yourself useful and help me stretch my legs out then."

He eagerly agreed as he sat on the opposite side of you to begin your high kicker's stretch, spreading your legs in a 90 degree angle with your feet pressing against his. You quirked a brow at him with amusement at his less than 90 degree angle leg spread. "Is that as far as you can go?"

He scoffed. "Listen, ‘m not flexible lik' ye. Ye'r a lass."

"That's sexist."

"That's basic anatomy."

You gave him a wicked grin before using your foot to extend his stretch, which earned a very satisfying yelp from him. "Get flexible, Sergeant."

Regardless of the dirty look he shot you, he offered out both of his hands to begin your portion of the stretch and if you hadn't been so damn limber it would've definitely cost you some PT time.

"Damn, [name], y’r flexible as hell." Surprise and admiration in his tone as he reclined your form to the fullest extent. The tip of your nose reaching the mat. He felt like he was simulating a slinky. 

"I know." You rise up from your position as he relinquishes you to switch. "Your turn." You gave him the most sinister, spine-shudder inducing grin before clasping onto his hands and extending him beyond his own limits. His breath caught in his throat for a moment preparing himself for the most asshole-tearing, toe curling stretch of his life. He couldn't even make out a word. Just a single droplet of sweat hitting the mat that had sent you into a fit of laughter.

"…jesus pumpin' christ…[name]. I think ye might've torn me a new arsehole." He groaned, as he started to feel the burn.

"Well, these are the consequences of being my gym partner. Gotta get you right." A smug expression on your face as you observed sweat forming on the base of his neck, soaking the neckline of his Under Armor compression tee. 

He chuckled. "Dinnae git a' sly wi' me, [last name]."

"Or what? You're in quite a compromising position, Johnny." You emphasized his nickname in a taunting manner that made the grin on his face spread. 

"I'll show y’ a compromising position." He muttered under his breath.

"Say again?" 

He mumbled a 'nothin' that you mentally noted but didn't argue with. You were merciful enough to slowly let him out of the painful position you placed him in and a sigh of relief escaped his lips. You surveyed him behind your hydroflask as he reached for his hand towel and patted himself down. "Breakin' a sweat, already?"

He flashed you a mischevious grin. "You're gonnae sloch yer words, Sergeant."

You simply ignored his remark as you laid your back against the mat, his strong hands gently grasping at your ankle was only a ruse in comparison to the painstakingly slow, burning stretch that he was inflicting on you. It illicited a small yet entirely involuntarily breathy moan that passed your parted glossed lips with brows that furrowed in an almost all too lewd manner. He hadn't noticed that his crotch was positioned right at your middle and you felt his hardness press up against you. Tension seemed like it saturated the gym air even through the heavily ventaliation. You couldn't help but feel flustered as warmth spread not only to your cheeks but to your groin. As you attempted to sit up from your position, Johnny held you still. "Hips down, Sergeant."

Body rigid and eyes wide as he proudly knelt over you, towering over your form. Primal instincts were nearly about to take over as he admired the way you were beginning to break a sweat. His hands firm on your ankle as he shifted his bodyweight onto you once more, a small huff leaving your mouth not going unnoticed by his curious gaze. He peeked at you under heavy, dark lashes as he keenly observed the way your body shuddered, now convulsing against the mat and his pressed form. Paltry, muffled  whines stumbled out of your mouth completely against your will as he stretched your leg past its original limit. He was practically splitting in you half as he urged his half-chub against your clothed sex. It wasn't difficult to note through the thin cloth of your leggings.

"Tha’s a deep stretch, lassie. Ye sure ye kin handle it?" His Scottish accent was sexy and breathy as if he was in you, stretching your walls. The question didn't feel like it was concerning the calf stretch anymore. 

One too many shaky exhales and a few more drops of sweat later, you could finally muster a, 'yes'. A shit-eating grin spread across his lips and you could only curse him in your mind. No, no, not under your breath. You were now in the compromising position that he was muttering about just a few moments ago. You could curse yourself for allowing him to tag along with you.  Damn him. 

He unwillingly tore his gaze from you for a moment when the realization of you two being out in public dawned upon him, but as he scouted the area it was minimal and still. Only a few soldiers were on the floor, completely zoned in on their own workouts and spread far away from you two. Far enough from any prying eyes and his hungry expression went right back to you, eyeing you like you were mere prey. "Jus’ tell me when." He murmured, elongating your leg even further down and you could look at him with scrutinized eyes as another whine passed and a shudder went up your body. Johnny loved the way you gazed up at him. Lips agape as you struggled for breath, drool slighting the corner of your lips, knowing that at any moment you said anything but, 'yes, sir', or 'no, sir' would end up with nothing but torturous pain. 

But you liked that. You liked, loved even, the way he pushed all your buttons without fail. Helpless and bashful under him. An unsteady breath left his lips as he focused on you and the way your body contorted so sapidly for him.

So, so dirty. He thought to himself. His eyes studying the way you swallowed hard. He wanted to taunt you even more, but Johnny decided to be clement as he relinquished you slowly allowing you to breathe again. You drew a large, labored breath as you sat up not able to look his way as he chuckled at you. 

"You're an asshole." You hissed, as you took a large swig of your drink nearly feeling like you were going to choke from how fast your heart was beating.

"'n' ye liked it." He raised his brows at you, imitating your gesture and taking a sip of his own drink. You averted your gaze, feeling your cheeks warm as he chuckled at your embarrassment. Johnny absolutely adored teasing you, and you welcomed it. 

[saetgvia]

genshin boys when you’re sick

characters: lyney, wriothesley, gaming, xiao, alhaitham

established relationship, nicknames (sweetheart, missy, etc)

tw: mentions of food, mentions of snot (is that a tw??), lmk if i forgot anything

———————————————————————

lyney

- *sniffle* ‘GET INTO BED RIGHT NOW MISSY’

- cares abt u very much

- a lil TOO much sometimes

- he just doesn’t want you hurt

- so the moment you show signs of sniffling you’re magically transported to the bed to get some rest

- he will FAWN over you

- kinda frantic ngl

- cooking

- magic show to cheer u up

- ‘i know the medicine tastes bad, but it’ll help you get better’

- older brother mode ACTIVATED

- lynnette and freminet are so weirded out by their usually chipper brother being like… this

- will take care of u until u get better

- whatever you need, he has <33

wriothesley

- tea

- he makes u tea

- and is overall a funny person

- like lyney he’ll want you to get as much rest as possible and yk cook for u and stuff

- ‘i’ll use my cryo vision to make the cold leave your body!’

- gets sigewinne to check on you because he has a MELUSINE DOCTOR so ofc he’s gonna ask her to check on youu

- lots of forehead and cheek kisses

- always makes sure you take medicine!

- cuddles!!! to make you warm!!!

- yea <3

gaming

- cOOKS FOR YOU THE MOST

- i think all the boys would cook and clean and take care of you

- but NONE better than gaming

- except maybe thoma

- but we’re talking about GAMING here

- he knows like 50000 people so you can bet he’s calling in favours

- ‘hello? yes remember that time a killed a bunch of hilichurls for you? yea can you make me soup? my partner’s sick.’

- tries to keep your energy and spirits up

- walks to get fresh air

- unlike the others he doesn’t really want to keep you in bed all the time bc he knows it can get irritating

- so he’ll spend time with you :))

- does the chores so you don’t have to worry about them

- overall i love gaming gaming best boy

xiao

- ‘…tf’

- ‘[NAME] DON’T MOVE A SLIME IS POSSESSING YOu- oh. it’s called a cold? and your body mAKES SLIME TO KEEP IT OUT??’

- humans are weird

- poor boy doesn’t know what to do

- you can bet he’s feeding you almond tofu

- and going to zhongli and cloud retainer etc. for advice

- ‘i can kill demons and protect teyvat… but i can’t help you feel better’

- sad boi

- so ofc you comfort him and everything

- makes sure you take your medicine all!!! the!!! time!!!

- doesn’t wanna leave your side

- caring and slightly confused bf but so sweet :(

alhaitham

- he’s so calm

- lyney’s total opposite

- cooking, chores, he does the lot

- provides better alternatives than the store antibiotics and they help u get better so much faster

- rare unserious alhaitham moment he claims it’s his love

- maybe it is!!

- reading sessions together!!

- u both reading books or him reading to you

- such a perfect bf

———————————————————————

a/n: hope you enjoyed this one <33 smashed it out today after some depressing valorant LOL be back with more soon and pls reblog so more people can see my work!! my taglist is now open so if you want to join just drop an ask <3

[thepringlesofblood]

in honor of the suffering game graphic novel coming out, I would like to introduce this argument from the podcast (suffering game pt 3) that got cut from the novel (understandably)

In the first battle in Wonderland, Taako wants to cast the spell "Flesh to Stone" on a regenerating poisonous slime.

Griffin disallows this, saying that slime isn't flesh.

Justin retorts that the slime is its flesh.

Travis argues that since the slime is sentient, its slime counts as flesh.

Where do you stand?

Other considerations brought up in the argument:

if the slime has skin, does that make it flesh?

Griffin notes: "if this thing had flesh it would be a bag of skin full of fuckin’ goo." to which Justin replies "What’s holding it together then, Griffin? Surface tension?"

The spell description uses the term "flesh".

Considerations I came up with:

Merriam Webster defines flesh as "the soft parts of the body of an animal and especially of a vertebrate"

the spell description for Flesh to Stone (as of 7/23/24) reads "If the target's body is made of flesh, the creature must make a Constitution saving throw."

ik griffin's the dm so whatever he says goes, this is about the argument itself, not who gets to decide what happens

clarifications below

clarifications

if you agree/disagree for multiple reasons listed, pick the PRIMARY or MOST IMPORTANT reason.

if you think flesh-to-stone could work on a slime, but not in this instance, you can pick "depends/nuance/secret 12th option"

ignore for the moment whether Taako had the spell slots for it. we all know he casts too many 6th level spells in the suffering game for it to be kosher. we're choosing to ignore that.

the adventure zone also generally ignores material components so we are too (his arcane focus would act as a substitute in this instance anyway, as the components are "a pinch of lime, water, and earth")

[luvv4j4ybe11]

I'm tired of being horny,I want love😭😭

can you give us some fluff headcanons with teyam,please??🥹

YES OML! I love writing headcanons sm😭

Warnings~ none! Enjoy the fluff everyone<3

★ Neteyam is the type of mate to make you stay in bed on a rainy day, no matter if you guys have things to do or not. He just loves spending time with his girl.

★ speaking of which, his family completely adores you. They’re always asking for you to come over and spend time with them(mostly neytiri and Jake saying this bc you’re literally like a daughter to them)

★ tey absolutely ADORES whenever you spend time with his family, especially his siblings and ESPECIALLYY with tuk, you act so well with all of them that it makes him want to give you a family of your own.

★ his love language is definitely acts of service, words of affirmation, and physical touch. So definitely expect to be gifted with things you’ve always wanted while he’s hugging you and whispering all sorts of praises and I love yous into your ear.

★(this hc is for human!reader) if your ovulating/on your period, he will never leave your side, always giving you whatever you need since he knows how painful your periods can be. (And also because your smell gets stronger, and he doesn’t want any of the males in his clan thinking they have a chance with you. Because they don’t.)

★ speaking of this, he definitely is extremely protective of you. Like, yes he knows you’re fully capable of handling yourself, but he just can’t help it. You’re his girl, how could he not protect you?

★ if you need an example of how far this man would go for you, just remember that one time where he came home with bloody fists and a bloody nose because he overheard a group of boys sexualizing you(lo’ak jumped into the fight too bc he didn’t want to hear you or his parents lecture him about leaving Neteyam by himself to get beat tf up😭)

★turns into such a baby when he’s tired. Poor boy will come home completely exhausted, it’s so obvious in his features it makes you sad. He’ll grumble when you ask him how his day was, hurriedly taking off his uncomfortable garments and picking you up and carrying you to the bed, placing you down on the soft pillows before placing all of his body weight onto you. You let out a little huff from the suddenness of it, but it turns into a giggle when you feel him smoosh his head into your boobs.

★“Awh, what needy little babyboy. Just needed some cuddles, hm?” You’d tease while placing a kiss on his forehead, left hand rubbing his scalp soothingly as your other hand trails down his back in a content motion.

★(hc for modern!au) you guys would definitely do a whole bunch of couple TikTok’s tg, and literally everyone loves you guys sm

★ would secretly learn all your favorite foods and make them whenever your sad/on your birthday.

★ does this thing if your walking past a group of people that make you uncomfortable, he’ll put himself between you and the group, so he’s acting as a barrier almost

★ loves the sound of your voice/laugh so much, And it SHOWSSSS. lo’ak made fun of him one time because teyams tail started wagging when you laughed at a joke he made

★ also loves carrying you/manhandling you (gently ofc) js bc he likes to see the surprise on your face whenever he does. All those years of training and building his strength being put to use frl🙌🏼 he also does it bc he has a strength kink and size kink..BUT WE ARENT GONNA GET INTO THAT!!

★he has a sweet spot in the middle of his scalp that makes him purr really loud and kick his leg slightly, you found out about it one of the many times he fell asleep on your chest. You never told him you knew about it though because you know he’d probably get embarrassed, but whenever he does fall asleep on your chest you always massage that spot just to giggle at his reaction.

★(black!reader hc..so me!) love to play with your hair and braid it, also loves to participate in your wash days. Like this mf will be more hyped to wash your hair than you are(you barley lift a finger during your wash days because he insists you just sit down and relax while he does everything)

★ made a wash day playlist with all your favorite songs on your phone without you knowing, so when you asked him where the playlist came from he just giggled at you before telling you where it came from. (You cried and hugged him because..he’s a fucking sweetheart?)

★ always talks about starting a family with you, and the look in this man’s eyes whenever he talks about it is completely adorable. You’re literally the love of this man’s life

A/N~ I need a man like teyam frl🥹 also I’m flattered you guys love my neteyam works sm, it really means the world to me<3 but could we mayhaps send in requests for different characters? I’d love to hear what you guys have in mind for them. Other than that tho, stay safe and hydrated. I love you guys sm💕

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Taglist~ @tallulah477 , @hotdsworld , @itchaboi-itchyboy , @blue-slxt , @etherial-moon-blog , @criticallybella , @rivatar , @aperiraa , @professional-yapper , @plooto

(If you’d like to be added to or removed from my general taglist, lmk by commenting on this post or sending me a dm! And if your tag isn’t working please check your settings💕)

[training4theapocalypse]

PLEASE do what Scots actually say I’m so curious

Soap x Reader Scottish Dialogue Inspo

To celebrate Burns Night, here are some realistic smutty Scottish terms and some general stuff to do with relationships. Feel free to use this if you find it helpful 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Disclaimer: my tiny country is made up of countless accents and Soap is canonically from Kilmarnock but his voice actor is from Elgin so who TF knows what he’d actually say.

I also don’t think you need to write in Scots either - I’m Scottish and I don’t (unless am absolutely ragin aboot somethin’) but I can see why you’d want to for Soap’s dialogue. 

Behave yersel’

This is easy - it’s just ‘behave yourself’ but it can be used as a smutty admonishment.

“I’ll sleep on the couch - you take the bed.”

“Behave yersel’,” says Soap, unfastening his belt.

Bonny / Bonnie

Spell it whichever way you like. This is primarily an adjective but I see it used as a noun in fic. All. The. Time. It was used a long time ago as a noun - and maybe it still is further north - but where I / Soap are from it's really only used as an adjective these days.

“What do you think of the new recruit, Captain?”

“Aye, she’s bonny, awryt.”

But use this sparingly - and only to describe a person as a whole and not individual body parts. (e.g. you wouldn’t say “Your tits are so bonny.”) 

Darlin’ / Doll

The two most common pet names I hear from men here. It is ROUGH as anything and makes me melt. Ughhhh. 🥵

“D’ye like whit ye see, doll?”

Fuckin’ hell

An exclamation that’s pretty ubiquitous across the UK. Soap would 100% say this after sex or if he was surprised by something that made him horny. From clips of Soap I’ve seen I know he says “Steamin’ hell” too but I’ve never heard this IRL.

You sit in Soap’s office, perched on his desk wearing your new lingerie.

He opens the door and freezes, jaw on the floor.

“… Fuckin’ hell.”

Gads 

This is a very specific Kilmarnock / Ayrshire thing (which is where Soap’s file says he’s from). And it comes from a very old-timey phrase ‘egads!’ which is hilarious to me.

Gads can be used as an exclamation for something shocking (OR something cringe depending on the context).

“You honestly think that I snuck into your room because my bed was uncomfortable? I want you to fuck me, Soap.”

He swallows. “... Gads.” 

Gantin’ for it

AKA Gagging for it. Juvenile way to describe being horny. Soap would probably say this about himself in a jokey way. 

“You alright, Soap?”

“Aye, aye. I’ve just been gantin’ for it ever since that new lassie joined.”

Lassie / Lass

Girl. Younger. (Pop off age difference fics)

Missus

Literally “Mrs” but surprisingly not just used to refer to your wife. Really commonly used to refer to a girlfriend.

“Look, whatever the missus wants she gets. Awryt?”

Wee (insert expletive)

Literally call me whatever you want as long as you put ‘wee’ in front of it. Wee bitch, wee slag, wee slut (omggggggg). 

Soap tuts, as you writhe against his thigh. “Yer an impatient wee thing, aren’t ye?”

Anyway, that's all I've got for now- if I think of any more, I'll add to this. You don't need to credit me if you actually use this - I like to think of it as service to my country 🫡

P.S. This made me realise I've only ever had sex with Scottish people so maybe some of this is just normal sex stuff and not Scotland specific???? HAHAHAHA

P.P.S. I was getting really into the dialogue so I've written a short fic about Reader x Soap.

[behoright]

boyfriend! braden schneider in bed

the way nobody asked for this….. go blame @hoesforthecanes

warnings: smut and sexual situations obvi. 18+! onlyyy

- dsjfhksdf SO

- sweet boy Braden

- the most monogamous person sorry

- he loves that you’re his girl and his girl only

- in every sense

- very protective a lil jealous

- nothing that guys can’t talk about but yes it does bother him if other men look at you because

- “you’re mine.”

- not necessarily in an aggressive way but he’s very territorial let’s say

- oh but he has the biggest heart eyes for you

- he wanted to make sure he really really liked you before trying anything

- like the fact that you’re his girlfriend turns him tf ON

- so yes he did make sure to ask you to be his girl properly and directly

- and yes he did wait until then to take you to bed

- and he is so sweet

- melts in your mouth sweet

- i feel like he’s sort of always staring at you a lil bit

- but when he wants you

- he CANNOT take his eyes off you

- wherever you guys are you will feel him staring, burning into you

- if you ask him anything ???? The lights are on but there’s no one home

- he can only say yes or no

- “You… alright, babe?”

- and he just nods slowly and he keeps studying your face

- thinking about all the ways he can have you

- the wheels are just endlessly turning in there

- like you KNOW you have to go home because this man has tuned everything out

- if you don’t go home soon enough he’ll start to get touchy

- like veeeeery touchy

- he does not! Care! He will straight up grope you in public

- squeeze your ass while his body is fully against you….

-…. At the grocery store. He cannot compute anything but you rn

- in bed he’s really just as tender

- he really loves slow sex especially after a date or something

- Braden like to soak up everything when you guys are together

- no pun intended

- he loves sex w you and he’s very present for every single moment

- more of a sensual person than a sexual one tbh

- he does love to be inside you but also everything else that hints or regards sex drives him crazy

- so he can make out with you for hours

- he loves it when it’s slow and romantic or hard and sloppy and needy

- he loves feeling his tongue run against yours like there’s something about that

- it makes his cock so hard so quick

- when you run your hands on his skin

- like if you rub his thighs or his hips it makes him crazy

- he loves it when you grind against him too

- or feeling your underwear soak through ???? Oof

- you’ve made out while just touching each other over your underwear for hoursss

- a big big talker

- you cannot quiet him down in the bedroom

- words just come out of him

- whether he’s fucking you or eating you out or whatever it is

- LOOOVES to talk into your skin

- “You’re so pretty when you moan like that.”

- talks into your pussy constantly

- literally with spit dribbling from his lips

- “You’re so fucking gorgeous. you taste so good, baby, it drives me wild.”

-“i can feel you pulsating against my tongue, my girl.”

- loves to praise but ummm loves to be praised more

- if you tell him he’s doing a good job…. Game over

- it turns him on so much that his whole body twitches as his cock gets harder

- it’s almost too much to take for him

- he gets lightheaded seriously

- whenever you tell him how good he’s making you feel/how good it feels/etc

- he squeezes his eyes tight tight

- because he doesn’t want to be distracted by anything and just focus on your words and the pleasure

- “you’re so good to me, B. No one has ever made me feel like this.”

- if you keep the talk going he starts to shake

- like telling Braden that he played well when you meet him outside of the locker room is dangeroussss

- he’d get so blushy jskdfhklasjd

- foreplay is his thing

- there’s been times that you two have cum multiple times simply from playing with each other

- and he’s so good with that

- 69…. A favorite of his

- he likes it that you guys touch each other at the same time

- all of this meaning that you guys can go at it all night

- def loses track of time buried in between your legs

- and he LOVES to cum more than once

- he figured out if he can get past the initial overstimulation it feels so good to cum again

- he’s figured out a way to have a good pace when you guys fuck or play so that you’re both at the edge of overstimulation but not there and it’s titillating

- sex is always always always hours long he’s not a guy that messes with quickies

- it’s sacred time between you two

- if he goes in with heart eyes he comes out of it with even bigger feelings for you. The goal is always to bring you guys closer no matter what the physical outcome is

- his kryptonite is teasing tho

- he’s the most needy when he’s horny

- teasing would drive him insane

- he has this insane belief that maybe if he waits it out he will feel less horny

- but it never happens that way. The more he waits the harder he gets

- until his cock is so swollen

- like a dark, deep red, throbbing swollen

- that he can’t take it anymore

- he doesn’t like to take anything from you but he’ll def voice it

- “baby, please, let’s go home”

- “I fucking need you so bad”

- “you want to feel what you’re doing to me? Touch it, baby, no one’s looking right now.”

- all muttered in your ear while he checks around

- and when he’s needy he gets

- whimpery

- any little touch or praise makes him whimper

- audibly !

- or groan too. Like the deepest groan

- that being said

- when he’s traveling…. His biggest nightmare

- porn will simply not do it for him he could care less about any random ass video

- he loves getting nudes from you but will never ever ever ask

- he needs your FaceTime dates

- NEEDS them

- or he loses it

- mentally he’s not there without the daily FaceTimes

- this man is so golden retriever cute he’ll set up his phone and everything

- he was actually really shy to ask you first so you guys had a talk about it

- the first roadies you’d send each other snapchats with the audio ON

- the amount of snaps you’ve gotten that the camera is shaky because he’s coming so hard but he still tries to keep it in focus :’)

- until one day he just FaceTimed you

- “baby, I just, I fucking miss you so much, I’m going to explode.”

- “look how fucking hard you made me, and you’re not even here.”

- and he’s fully naked on the hotel bed flushed flushed flushed and sweaty

- “nothing will do it, baby, I need you. i need to see you, please.”

- so whiny it’s endearing

- you stripped for him and touched yourself on FaceTime and he came so so quickly

- so now it’s kinda exciting when he goes on trips because you know it’ll be a lil different in the best way possible

- when he gets really desperate he-

- “I’m going to fly you out, fuck, I don’t fucking care. I’m flying you out, I need to touch you.”

- while he’s pumping at his cock so feverishly

- his legs twitch too and seeing every muscle move involuntarily while he grinds up into his hand…

- makes you lose it

- being in the hotel does not stop the talk

- “Can I see you? let me see, doll.”

- “Please touch yourself for me, baby. Look how pretty your pussy is, god.”

- “I’ve been edging all day for you, baby.”

- “i can’t wait to see you, princess, i can’t wait to be inside you again.”

- and when he cums

- oh

- it’s like the world shakes

- his head fully goes back into his pillow

- eyes fluttering stuck on the ceiling

- mouth slack open

- and the loudest, deepest groan you’ve ever heard

- he does not give a shit about any chirps

- like not only single fuck given

- it just feels too good

- giggles after he cums kfhaskjfh

- 10/10 you guys

[personasintro]

i know mentioming kiko triggers most of the readers but i think yall should grow tf up like shes my roman empire and i think about her a lot u know 😔😔 when this chapter, where she told jungkook the truth, came out i hated her just like others and i was like "shes so evil like how can she do this to jungkook". but as time passed i just realized that shes the realest character because if i were in the same situation i might have done the same thing(?) Like i dont know exactly what id do but because of fear i couldve done the same so i cant really judge her. like we all know having a child is a big responsibility and she was scared and of course she wasnt ready for this and obviously its her body and her choice and she did whatever she thought was good for her. I think throwing a mud at her and criticising her is too much because she suffered enough already and i truly dont understand why do yall hate this woman so much?? I mean yeah she shouldve told jungkook everything because jungkook really deserved to know and we all knkw he would understand her and her choice but she was scared and not ready. Like we cant even imagine the pain she was going through because as i mentioned before having a kid is a big responsibility and she was the one who had to carry the baby for 9 months and give birth and everything and she was not ready. like yeah jungkook would be on her side but so what?? his support would be a great help but mothers still have to go through pain, fear, uncertainty and so many emotions and i think men would never get this (im sorry, i know jungkooks an amazing man but he still wouldnt get it okay???) and i trully feel sorry for her and of course the way she handled the situation was so wrong and i do not support her for that, for example, for lying to jungkook, breaking up with him without telling him everything, then lying to him that she cheated 😭😭like she was so stupid for that and she made him suffer so much like imagine u told him u cheated on him and he still wanted to give u a second chance,even though he was in so much pain??? like i understand him and yes he deserved to know everything and she was so wrong for getting back to him and still makkng him believe she cheated but I feel so sorry for both of them and i really understand kiko and her fears and im her apologist because everyone makes mistakes and obviously she wasnt a perfect person. I hope she will be happy in the future because she dont deserve all this pain.

thank you for sharing your thoughts on this! we've had quite a lot conversations about her character and to be honest, she might be one of my favorite characters i've ever written. not because I love her or anything, but because she's so interesting to me. and i've said this before many times, but i guess people perceive things differently based on the point of view which is completely understandable – if the story was about them, kiko being y/n – some opinions and reactions might've been different. i do believe there would be many opinions of what she did and it being not right, but i guess readers would show more mercy with the way of how they talk about her character or they would definitely not use so many curse words ahaaha

[eldritch-spouse]

*goes up to tce staff members* "excuse me sir...can you put a baby in me-"

Morrell would JUMP at the opportunity 💀 idk how tf vinnel would react, probs would smack us upside the head and call us a perv. I'm scared at what nebul and Santi would say/react 😂😭

(Yes I got this idea from a clip of the impractical jokers lol- would vinnel would love them or hate them?)

[Mmm I don't know what that is, sorry anon.]

Morell just drags you away by the neck. He's so fucking hard he can't even speak because all the blood in his body rushed to his cock and his tongue is numb. How many do you want, baby mama?

Gallon is... More shocked than anything. Definitely extremely flattered but you're not having a kid this soon. He'll make you feel like you're pregnant by the end of the night though.

Santi enjoys breederism as a kink, so you're definitely getting bent over (people around be dsmned) and fucked for hours on end. He'll excuse it by saying you can't really be sure it took with just one round, can you?

Grimbly chokes hard. No?? Yes?? He wasn't ready for this. He's not ready at all. He's still living his babygirl years you want a kid? Fuck. He can't really say no to your sweet pussy, and the thought of you becoming even hotter as your body accommodates for maternity- Oof.

Vinnel gets soured by the reminder of his pseudo-infertility. But really, it only serves to incense him into making a big impression as he pounds into you from almost painful positions and giggles about you being such a brainless fucking sow that you'd drool at the though of being constantly knocked up by him.

Nebul is an undead, he's not putting any sort of child in you. But he can humor your lusts, so long as you properly beg for the privilege of carrying Master's child. You'd give your whole body to him, wouldn't you? Even your womb. All of it.

Patches breaks the bad news to you. No babies, his nuts are kind of useless. But please, tie him up and drain him- Why not scientifically prove that he's really infertile by making several impregnation attempts? Make sure he's crying and wincing from every orgasm by the end of it.

Belo can't breathe for a couple of seconds. A child?? A baby?! He sinks to the ground and undresses immediately. Use his body for whatever you must, take as many children from him as you want- He'll fill his Lady however many times you command him to if it means making this a reality.

Sybastian does not fucking hesitate. You barely finish the sentence, he's already on top of you and rutting at your ass while his claws scrabble for the hem of your clothes. He's going to put so many fucking babies in you, get ready, oh you better get ready for the breeding of a lifetime.

Fank-e just calls you silly. He can't put babies in you, but you can always adopt (a roomba)! He wonders if you'd find his oviposition attachment satisfactory for tonight however. The eggs glow in the dark, you know?! It'll be so fun!

Krulu calls you an audacious animal for coming to him so brazenly with your fervid, unfiltered lust. But... It does make him rumble in great pleasure to know that you would offer your body and womb to him at the drop of a hat. As you should, sweet lamb. Now come, you're dysfunctional like this and he needs to fix your hormonal mind.

[pinkhoodi]

this color, no this color !

✎ᝰ — spider crew help y/n dye their hair !

♡⃕ — 1610!miles, miguel, gwen, hobie x black!reader

♡⃕ — genre + warnings: fluff + no warnings

♡⃕ — a/n: we are so back with atsv !

꒰ HOBIE BROWN ꒱

Ꮺ dying your hair with hobbie was a…mess. don’t get me wrong it was fun as both of you can make it but overall a mess

Ꮺ hobie introduced the idea of dying your hair to you actually. though when it came to the colors, he was indecisive just as much as you were so you two went to the beauty supply store and picked whatever color looks cool enough on you. I would say that you and hobie either picked polar opposite colors (you picked autumn colors meanwhile he went for a neon scheme) or picked something of similar color schemes, no in between

Ꮺ thankfully hobie knew how to deal with detangling and setting your hair up for the hair dye. he was very careful with the detangle cause he knows how tender-headed you can get. also before the putting the dye, he would consistently ask you if you really wanna go with this color and gave in when you threatened him

Ꮺ hobie would try to dye your hair in a more artistic way or something he knows suit your aesthetics. if you don’t have an aesthetic, he would def go off vibes and what kind of aura you carry around. but at the same time, he’ll ask you for some inspirations of how you want your hair to colored

Ꮺ during the process, he would have a reality show or his playlist playing in the background. sometimes he’ll hum a new song that’s in the works or tell you the progress his band is making

Ꮺ ngl, hobie can get a bit rude when dying your hair. only cause he wants this to come out exactly how you want it, not cause you can’t stay still….trust me !

Ꮺ in the end, hobie is complimenting tf out of your new result. he would smother you in compliments and think it’s one of the best pieces of work that he has done, no doubt

꒰ 1610!MILES MORALES ꒱

Ꮺ listen…he’s clueless just as much as you are. in his defense, it was your idea to do something spotaneus to your look and why not dye your hair? did he think you were crazy? …maybe ! but it ended being so much fun

Ꮺ miles have thought about dying his own hair before but having both parents be poc…yeah he knew better. not only that, but it’s already bad enough that he sneaks out for his spiderman duties, he do nawt need to make it worse with a new hair color

Ꮺ but for you, he is more than willing to help you dye hair. he just hopes that you have permission and you’re not sneaking out to do this. other than that, he is happily walking around the beauty supply store like a kid in a candy store while you’re looking for the hair dye. he’ll often come up to you and ask if you need this pomade or need this sort of gel

Ꮺ the night before miles did some research and called you to consult on what you need. he would screen share to show his pinterest board of color inspo (he’s lowkey a pinterest feen but that’s for another time), especially with your hair type. most of the phone call would be “okay but what about this?” “are you sure?” “so you’re telling me you’re not going with this?” miles just say you wanna dye YOUR hair like that…

Ꮺ but the experience was more than fun. you two’s favorite show was playing, he was telling you about his latest spiderman adventures, he’s rambling about any and everything he could think of. sometimes it would be silent when miles is fully focused or he’s asking questions to see if he’s doing it right

Ꮺ mile’s is your biggest cheerleader after it’s all over. after he takes a massive sigh and stretches his body, sometimes he forgets how tiring natural hair can take, even though he’s natural himself

꒰ GWEN STACY ꒱

Ꮺ just as bad as miles and maybe worse since she’s not familiar with your hair type. yes, she has dyed her hair before (more than likely multiple times) but she doesn’t wanna give you chemical damage or end up having you balding. which leads to her doing intensive research of what colors you should try, which box dye to buy, and how to apply the dye to your hair. listen, it was her and youtube for about five hours

Ꮺ she would be a tad bit hesitant when you asked her if she wanna helps you. she made sure that you asked her and not hobie who might be a better help than she could ever be. you reassure her that it won’t be as scary as she’s making it to be

Ꮺ now when it comes to buying the hair, please hold her hand while yall in the beauty supply store. it’s not that she’ll wander off but she is def intimidated being in there. she has a face of confusion on her as she browses on the products laid on the shelf. also asking questions on why you refuse to buy the lesser priced box dye. oh gwen baby…

Ꮺ gwen would offer to buy your stuff :). she learned how pricey it is to buy hair products from your many rants of having natural hair, so she’ll offer to pay half or at least a good amount

Ꮺ throughout the process, you guide gwen how to detangle and part your hair. she’s taking her precious time and going slow until she has enough confidence to speed herself up

Ꮺ all throughout, she would throw compliments and how she’s excited but very nervous on how the results will be. any result that would come, she know you’ll look good :)

꒰ MIGUEL O’HARA ꒱

Ꮺ now of all people you could ask…jk jk. when you asked, the man heavily side eye you and thought you were going through a phase. like no miguel, i just wanna change my look. he’ll ask if you’re sure that you wanna dye your hair or what’s wrong with the color you have now

Ꮺ but at the same time, he does accept the offer to help you cause who is he to deny some quality time? ngl, he lowkey became more excited to do this more than you were but he would never admit to it

Ꮺ miguel, as well, doing intensive research on what products works best for your hair type. he even offered paying for the more pricey dyes until you assured him that not all twenty-dollar box dyes works the best for natural hair. one day he’ll realize that for all hair care…one day

Ꮺ while shopping for the products, he keeps an eye on you so you don’t go over the budget that he made sure you set in place. when you show him a product that you both know you don’t know, he’ll go into lecture mode until you motion him to stop talking and put the product down. ofc miguel pays for everything and he doesn’t wanna hear a ‘I’ll pay for it’ from you so it’s best to just accept

Ꮺ I would say he doesn’t really need guidance on how to handle your hair cause he’s helped with your hair plenty of times. but from time to time, he would ask if he’s hurting you or if the hair is soft enough to work with before beginning the dyeing process

Ꮺ while dying your hair, he would allow you to ramble on while he listens. he would let you take control of the entertainment aspect of the pastime, but you settled for music. also, while you’re on your rant, he would plant small kisses along the back of your neck <3

Ꮺ in the end, after the washing and drying, you don’t allow him to see the end result until you’ve seen it and settled with it. even if you’re not satisfied with the result, he kisses your forehead and tells you that he’ll help you fix it. beforehand, he’ll often say that you look beautiful with your new color

♡⃕ mia back in her atsv era 🧏🏽‍♀️?? please i miss writing for these niggas

♡⃕ lemme know who was your fave :p

𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐏 💗: 1 thessalonians 5:16-18

© 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟦 𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗄𝗁𝗈𝗈𝖽𝗂. 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽

[eywamygoddesswrites]

— 𝓱𝓸𝔀 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓽𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓬𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾'𝓻𝓮 𝓸𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓭 — (multiple x fem!reader) | 1

pairing: avatar men x fem!human!reader

tags: just men taking care of the reader during her period, can be seen as platonic/romantic

warnings: like one pussy joke and that's about it HAHAHAHAHA

a/n: neteyam, lo'ak, ao'nung, and rotxo are aged up! this is for the men characters since i don't want it to be too long. the ladies of avatar will have their own post because let's all be honest, we love women. also i made this 'cause it's currently shark week and everything hurts ;-;

also sorry for the lack of any new fics. i'm hella hella busy with school and i have duties next week (just 3 days) but i will be in the hospital with no data sooooo yeah :cc and the rest are regular f2f classes. i hope y'all understand.

also, happy one month everyone!! i've been posting for one month now and i hope we continue this flowery road together 💙 anywhos, i hope you guys enjoy!

word count: 1.3k

jake sully

this man was a human in his previous life, he knows what the fuck he was doing

when you got your period in the middle of work, jake (with his strong avatar senses) caught a scent of you

he asked norm where they keep women's pads and norm pointed to where they were

he got some pads and getting a few more stuff that you liked

some chocolate bar, a venti cup of coffee/juice/tea, and a heating pad

you were surprised when he stood beside you with said stuff in his hands

then you finally got the idea

oooooooohhhhh… is it that time already?

yes, baby girl. but don’t worry, i’ll help you

he goes with you until you reach the lady's comfort room

he gives you the pads and tells you to holler for him if you need anything else

waits for you while you do your thing

younger!jake would rock back and forth on his feet and bite off the skin of his lips (a habit i canon him of having) while he waited by the door

older!jake would go to get the stuff he forgot if he forgets and comes back before you knew he even left

once you were done, he suggests you take a rest now before the cramps start

you told norm this and being the great friend he was, he lets you go rest

jake would be there for you like your personal cocoon

he would massage you abdomen, lower back, head, or wherever you felt pain in

would get you whatever that is you need

just honestly the best in the bunch since he knew what human women go through

neteyam sully

you yo daddy’s son !!!11!1!!

but for real, he’s like a mini jake with neytiri’s face and her nurturing aura

he learned how to care for human girls because of his dad

literally cried when you first got your period since he thought you were dying

but jake reassures him it’s a normal thing human girls go through (since na’vi girls and women don’t go through this | i agree with the fanon that na’vi women don’t get periods)

would learn basic human anatomy just so he understands what was happening during your periods

kinda scared because of the side effects of periods

would do anything and everything just for you to be comfortable during your monthly bleeds

since na’vi bodies were a lot warmer, he uses his hands as heating pads to put over your abdomen

would purr when you’re on his chest as he massages your lower back

sings his songcord to you to lull you to sleep

kisses are a must with this man

would litter you with kisses to make you smile and feel better

he just loves you :ccc

lo’ak sully

obviously, like neteyam, he knows that human girls get their period

he’s similar to neteyam but a bit different in his approach to periods

he didn’t really know what he was supposed to do at first

like, should he massage you or should he not because it might worsen your pain

do you like chips or chocolate more?

what pussy size you got because there are so many pad sizes—

tAMPONS ARE A THING WHAT—

lowkey scared of that thing and why tf does it go in?!>!?!

still, his effort counts really

it’s the thought that counts

he still helps you around (even with the smallest thing like grabbing a cup of water)

would follow your commands especially when the pain is unbearable and you need assistance

he would stay with you in your room even when you sleep just in case you wake up and need help (even if you told him it’s okay to go home and rest. he insists on staying)

would go to norm and ask for extra gas air when he runs out of it

would bring you some pandora fruits because weirdly, you crave them more than the regular food you eat

would treat you greatly 1000/10

tonowari

like his son, he didn’t know what periods are so he asks his friend jake about it

upon learning what they were, he immediately goes into his ‘teddy bear’ mode

he would be cuddly as fuck

like  c u d d l y  cuddly

a cuddle bug for sure

he would always bring you fresh food to eat

would help around your home despite being a busy man himself

would treat you as if you were a porcelain doll

would weave you a reusable period underwear (with the help of ronal) so you can just clean them and reuse them

would do your laundry and wouldn’t be bothered by the blood stains at all

when you need him (especially when you’re a lot emotional), he would stay with you until you feel better

doesn’t matter if you fell asleep. he will do his duties once you wake up and say that you’re feeling better

only then he would be comfortable enough to leave to tend to his duties

would ask tsireya and ronal to look after you especially when he’s a lot busier and can’t go to you physically

overall like my man jake but a lot more domestic

would recommend to everyone

ao’nung

he didn’t understand what a period is and why you got them because he didn’t care at first

you’re a sky person, the cause of distruction

but you were different (or whatever jake sully and his kids say)

but the more time he spent with you, he must at least learn what you go through, being your period

it was weird that you had to go through this every month until you become old

like, his mom and sister never got these so why were your kind cursed with them?

would ask jake or his kids what he can do to help you out

you stayed in a makeshift house with regular oxygen so you can eat without having the stupid mask on

ao’nung literally didn’t like the mask he has to breathe pandora air in but after one time that he didn’t use them, he didn’t like the feeling so he uses them religiously when he’s with you

he would bring you gifts and meals he caught so you don’t feel too isolated when you don’t leave your home

would ask you constantly what you were feeling and if you feel uncomfortable at every moment of the day

are you okay? does you abdomen hur—

i’m fine ao’nung!!

would still ask for confirmation if you’re really really okay

would carry you every time you leave your house (even if you went out to walk and stretch your legs)

shy with physical affection (hugs, kisses) so the most he can do is carry you

call it his love language in a way

rotxo

he was absolutely lost when he sees you bleeding. like neteyam, he thought you were dying

he thought he would never see you again

but when you explained that human women bleeding was normal, he was like:

dude, that must suck so bad

it does, rotxo, it does

but still, he wants to help you out the best way he can

like the other metkayina men here, he would bring you food to eat and bring little trinkets to make you feel better

since metkayina bodies were a lot cooler than omatikaya bodies but still warmer than human bodies, he does his best to warm you up

he stays with you as much as he can just so he can help you

craving for a certain fruit? he’ll get it for you

need a soothing cream from ronal? he will get it for you

you feel tired? he can go into your home, use the stupid-looking gas mask to breathe and stay with you longer, and keep you company

he’s just a sweetheart man give him compliments pls

taglist: @nyotamalfoy @hanhanartz @murderousmushroom @myvath @iwaslikeblah

— part 2 with the avatar ladies here

[gojos-fr-bae]

𝔚𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔰 𝔇𝔬 𝔓𝔱. 2 (ℜ𝔢𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔡)

Part 1, Part 2

Pairing: CEO!Gojo x Fem!Lawyer!Reader

Warnings: Cussing, Drinking, A slap (or punch, I don't rly remember) Toji in his boxers bc why tf not. only a tad bit of angst at the beginning, the rest is pretty chill, Not proofread (honestly, are we shocked)

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N:😌🤭🏃🏿‍♀️😍😎😋

Minors DNI

You were seated outside with your boss who had long calmed down but still clutched your arm tight, his head still buried in the crook of your neck. You were sure that people were already questioning your disappearances and you were sure you would return to some distasteful rumors. First he saves you a seat next to him and then you both run off somewhere for almost half an hour. Fuck, this is not good.

“S-sir, I think we need to leave.” you murmured softly, not wanting to startle him in this fragile state.

He simply just hummed and nuzzled deeper into your neck.

“Mr. Gojo I’m being serious, please let go of me, we need to leave.” You stated, this time your voice is much firmer. 

Finally getting the hint, he pulled away from you, uttering a soft apology and  letting go of your hand as he stared down at the ground. Although his bangs were blocking his face slightly, you didn’t miss how dejected he looked. 

You were about to say something but got startled by the door leading inside opening abruptly. Your heart sank for a moment before looking up and noticed that the person who opened said door was Nanami, Gojo’s personal assistant. Even though you didn’t know him too well, from your interactions, he seemed nothing like his boss so you still held onto a string of hope for your reputation.

He looked at you and Satoru, his eyes traveling from you to Gojo before he sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“Miss,I’m so sorry for whatever it is that just happened, he’s probably just drunk.

“Oh, umm, yeah, it’s okay…i guess. I’m just going to head back inside if that’s fine.” You replied, getting up and quickly collecting your bag before heading for the door.

“Yes, of course, please, go ahead.” Nanami pointed towards the door and you couldn’t get out of there faster.

As you made your way to your seat, you didn’t miss the stares and whispers of everyone in the room. Great, just as you expected, everyone is probably making disgusting assumptions about you and at this point you wanted nothing more than to get home.

~

You sat on the island, hair in a mess and wine bottle in your hand while Toji worked at the stove, making you a grilled cheese. He was wearing nothing but his boxers and his body was covered in hickeys and scratch marks. To anyone else the scene may have seemed confusing yet for you, this was almost routine.

“And he wouldn’t let go? Toji asked, trying to wrap his mind around the story you had just told him about your awful night.

“YEAH, CAN YOU IMAGINE! I had to wait for his assistant to come bail me out and now everyone thinks I’m a slut who only got the job because I’m sleeping with the boss!!” You shouted in frustration before downing a big gulp of your wine.

“And what’s so wrong about that?” Toji asked, smirking at you while he slid you your sandwich. You just trolled your eyes at him. 

“Well unlike YOU, that’s not the type of image I want to uphold.”

“Yeah, whatever you say sweetheart. Anyway, you didn’t fuck him did you?”

“Ew, OF COURSE NOT!!”

“Then what are you so worried about, the rumors will die out. Everyone will forget about this shit after his next scandal so just hold out for like, a week or two.”

“Ugh, that’s easier said than done.”

“What's happened has happened princess, nothing we can do about that except move on, now is there?”

“I guess not,” You sighed.

“Exactly. So stop worrying your pretty little head over this.” He said before pressing a peck on your forehead and making his way to his room. “Don’t drink too much, you still have work tomorrow.”

You couldn’t do much but groan at the thought that you might have to see that man again. What the heck did you sign yourself up for?

~

You were sitting at your desk when the quiet  room suddenly filled with murmurs. You raised your head from the work you had buried it in to see what was causing such a stir. Your breathed hitched as you saw your boss, Gojo Satoru himself, walking up to you with a big fucking bouquet filled with a variety of flowers, half of which you had never seen in your entire life.

You tried to look away but your eyes had already met and you could only brace yourself for what was about to transpire.

Gojo walked over to your cubicle and gave you his signature blinding smile.

“Hey sweets, thanks so much for last night. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, as a matter of fact, I saw these through the shop window and couldn’t help but think it was meant for you,” a lie. Satoru had stood in the shop for hours painstakingly choosing all 162 flowers in that bouquet. But you didn’t need to know that. You reluctantly took the flowers from him, instantly regretting it when you heard everyone in the room gasp simultaneously. Oh shit. Why me! Why me! What did I do to deserve this! Those are all the phrases you were screaming in your head as Gojo leaned down to whisper in your ear.

“Also, come to my office at 1pm, okay?” His deep raspy voice said in a hushed tone, sending shivers down your spine. 

He then stood up straight and winked at you, before strutting out the room.

You immediately dropped the flowers on your desk and ran to the washroom and locked yourself in a stall. If you knew this job would come with so much bs you would’ve never taken it.

This isn’t like you. You really can’t be letting a man like him get under your skin.

Just then, you heard the washroom door swing open and heard two voices come in.

“Oh my gosh, did you see how that slut reacted when she saw Mr. Gojo walk in?” The first one quipped.

“Ugh, I know right, and did you hear what he said!? “Thank you for last night” I mean gosh!” replied the second.

“She probably only got the job from fucking him, did you hear that they’re paying her 50K!?”

“Girls these days! What kind of punch does she need to be packing under that ugly outfit of hers for her to seduce Mr. Gojo. I mean he’s WAY out of her league.”

“Mhm, it’s like seeing a literal god go out with a rat that was run over by a tricycle!”

They both began to cackle loudly and you finally snapped. You burst open the stall door and they turned around to face you in shock. They didn’t have time to process it though as you landed a harsh slap with all the force you could muster across their faces, walking out before they could even utter a word. Serves those bitches right.

You just went back to your desk and kept your head down, waiting until 1pm FINALLY but unfortunately arrived.

You slowly made your way to the top floor, before walking to his secretary’s desk. She looked up at you before speaking.

“He’s waiting for you, just go in,” she snarled, chewing her gum obnoxiously loud, her nails tapping away at her keyboard.

You just rolled your eyes at her before pushing the big office door open, closing it behind you and turning to face Gojo. He had his feet kicked up onto his huge desk, floor to ceiling windows making up the wall behind him, the bustling city of Tokyo laid out behind him.

He looked at you from behind his glasses, sirking cockily.

“So, you came,”

“Didn’t really have a choice considering everyone’s been treating me weird and like shit because they think we fucked.” you snapped at him.

“And what’s so bad about that?”

“Being treated like shit?” you questioned in disbelief.

“No, people thinking we’ve fucked. If anything, we probably should. Let’s give them something to REALLY talk about.” He replied, winking at you. The gall this man had.

“Sir, with all due respect, if that’s all you wanted to talk about then you are wasting my fucking time. I’ll just leave if-”

“No! No, don’t leave, that’s not what I asked you here for,” He said in a slightly panicked tone, standing up from his seat. “Look, I just wanted to, umm, thank you again for last night,” he said smoothly, regaining his suave persona.

“Were the flowers not enough because me, the rest of the employees and probably the whole world thought it was wayyyyy more than enough.” You replied in slight annoyance.

“What? No, of course not! Infact, I spent all day thinking of the best way to pay you back, and I finally got it.”

“And what may that be?”

“A shopping spree!!” he shouted, doing jazz hands at you.

“Sir, that is completely inappropriate and-”

“I’ll let you get whatever you want, no spending limit, it’s all on me” He cut you off, waving his AMEX in the air.

You wanted to say no, you wanted to say no so fucking bad. But your closet was in desperate need of a makeover, so was your bedroom, and your house. It was a golden opportunity, and no one in their right mind would say no.

“Fine, I’ll meet you at the mall at 6pm,”

“Oh no no no, that’s way too far away, come on, I already cleared you for the rest of the day, come on, let’s go!” he said in a chirpy voice. Skipping towards you, he grabbed your hand before dashing out of the room with you.

You were in for one heck of a day.

***

You were now in the basement parking of the building. Satoru slowly walked you to his reserved parking slot in which was parked a black, sleek mercedes. Your eyes widened at the sight and Gojo just smiled at your reaction, feeling his ego get boosted by tenfold.

“You like?” he asked, opening the passenger door and motioning for you to enter. You just ignored it, sitting in the car as he closed the door and ran around to the driver’s seat.

It felt so wrong. Not just the fact that it was you’re in your boss’ car, but the fact that it was a really expensive, really fancy car.

“So, are you ready to go?” Satoru asked, gazing at you.

“Sure. Why the fuck not!”

Part 1, Part 2

© gojos-fr-bae

[rzyraffek]

Platonic yandere yautja x human child reader

Aww dad yautja😊 I didn't write for yautjas in months!! Hopefully u enjoy it!! Also i used they/them for kid. No tw, only cuteness and wholesome dad figure yautja👹 request open

Dad yautja with human kid

Bro is confused ??? Tf??? Why is there a child here??

He either found them abandoned in middle of nowhere or accidentally killed their perents, by 'accidentaly' i mean ofc he wanted to kill them he just didn't know there was a child nearby and now he feels bad

Kinda finds human pups ugly😭 why are you so smol and loud wtf

Dad!yautja after he kinda adopts y/n he gets too overprotective! Like dude won't leave their side at all, especially when you guys are outside; dude will pick them up and just carry around.

Can't cook to save his life, he kinda set kitchen on fire. And humans cant eat raw meat, so now you are on fruit diet for now (and veggies)

Had this parental instinct to teach them everything, how to shoot, find food, basic self-defence, overall taking good care of themselfs. But he kinda likes that he has to provide for them, it gives him control yknow

When he carries them around everywhere! He acually lets them sit on his shoulders or just hang on his neck😓😍

Cant say no to those cute big eyes! Yes he will let them 'decorate' his armor (with glitter and stickers) and he will let them paint his nails and he will lisen to them gossip about their friends.

If his kid is a little artist and walks up to him and says "papa i drew you!" He does not care that he looks like a lizard nor that they didn't color it perfectly. Dude is purring, picking y/n up and he carries this drawing in pocket everywhere

Other yautjas say that he spoils them, but he disagrees! Your a HUMAN baby, i mean yeah your basically one of yautjas now but!!! Your tiny! And your skin is so squishy!!!

He had to learn how to comb their hair cuz at some point y/n simply refused to cut it (me too lil guy) and he respects them so much he won't just do something against them

Kinda wishes he could understand human body language more

Also about body language i can imagine kid just kinda mimicing yatuja body language and habits. Like dad!yatuja will say "child please go to bed its late" the kid will just angry respond with a hiss👹 "hsssss👽🦎" "?????" If yaujtas had eyebrows, he would rise them

If y/n is a girl, and she has her first period? Dude panics! HUHH WHAT BLOOD??? FROM WHERE!?? UHHHH????

Dude tries to be a perfect father figure, he tries to have similar intrests with his kid so they can connect more, but if y/n is totally not into hunting, collecting, nature themed stuff, Yautja is more than happy to catch up with whatever teens are into this days, but he will judge the hell out of tv shows (if they watch any)

I kinda forgot it suppose to be yandere so it turned out to be just wholesome im so sorry

Understands that kid needs privacy but he will just go invisible mode and lurk in shadows! Like what if somone attacks you??? Or worse! What if you meet some humans that he doenst like??? What if they will tell y/n all lies about what 'bad war crimes' he commited and what 'murderous' his kind is!! Those are lies pls dont lisen to humans

No boy/girlfriends!!! Nuh uh!! Your his little baby you cant go doing all those... things... with some human. ugh! this person probably can't even hunt for you!! Or give you nice treasures!! Or build a pretty nest!! Why would you like them my child?? Look at all those trophies i gathered for all those years! You should stay here!

He loves the fact that he lives in some wild ass jungle and y/n cant leave him due to all those dangers around, plus he loves that y/n will always stay tiny(in comparison obviously) and weak so be basically needs to provide for them! Right???

I used x reader tags ONLY to reach bigger audience

[thestarfishinjootsoffice]

Can i request Hannibal with a child reader that is super geeky, really dorky. they know a lot of trivia and will randomly drop in facts that nobody asked for like:

“Hey did you know that house flys hymn in the key of F?”

"I mean this saying kinda lost its meaning because (explains) but go on."

They also got big ass glasses too because why not, let’s feed the stereotype :)

I have no idea what that means 😍

NBC Hannibal with a geeky dorky trivia knowledged child! Reader

He finds you so adorable. You reply on him alot probably.

Like whenever you get nervous or shy around someone and get so awkward and just proceeds to run and hold his legs/torso from behind him and on the outside he looks calm but on the inside he's clutching his heart and trying to stop himself from falling down onto his knees.

He loves you but wouldn't know how to feel if you told him random disturbing facts like.

"Dad?"

"Yes Y/N?" He smiles at you.

"Did you that there's a diseases which makes you unable to fall asleep ever and there's no way to cure it and not even sleeping pills would work and the only way to get rid of it is by either by ending yourself or wait for your brain and body to die from exhaustion and it's caused by extreme high levels of stress and anxiety?"

"..." He takes a moment to proceed what you just said to him.

"Um.. No.."

"Oh! And did you also know there's an infection that makes male flys want to mate every hour of the day and they do it so much to the point their schlong falls o-"

"Okay that's enough." His smile falters completely as he sighs at how and where tf did you learn this.

Also would support in whatever your hobbies are Or activities you do.

He also adores your big ass glasses, thinks they look adorable on you. May or may not sometimes compare you to the 🤓 emoji

Protective AF. Oh some people were bullying you and you told Hannibal about it? And now they're reported missing? Don't worry, it's just a coincidence! But i do wonder where father got so much beef.. Well it is beef after all.

Will buy you anything you want, be it books, clothes, new glasses.. Whatever you want you got it! How could he say no to your adorable face?

100/10 ‼️

[the1975attheirverybest]

Concept inspired by the video of Matty getting angry. Reader is at a bar with friends and Matty is supposed to meet her here, some guy stars bothering her so maybe she texts him but she doesn't want him to worry so maybe she just asks him if he's on his way and when gets there he immediately sees what's going on and go in full protective mode. I imagine him saying something like: the lady here is clearly not into you or something like that.

Offfff. Can I say I’m still watching that video of him being mad at the dude in the crowd and…it gets hotter and hotter every time. From every new angle tiktok supplies me with….

Like maybe she’s tried being polite about it and said that she’s meeting someone, but the guy took that as a random excuse to get rid of him, so he’s more insistent now, and making her increasingly uncomfortable. She clutches onto her drink and sips on it, hoping that maybe if she orders a refill, the bartender will notice and help her out or something. But she can’t get through it fast enough. She pulls out her phone, awkwardly texting Matty

Are you almost there?

He writes back, be there soon! Everything alright?

She just responds with a “yes.” And Matty doesn’t know what to make of this exchange. So, when he arrives, he’s looking for her as soon as he walks in, then he sees her and it all clicks in his head. He’s enraged, fists clenching by the sides of his body as he squeezes past all the tipsy people around to get to the bar.

He goes up to the guy, from behind, and she sees him, her face instantly relaxes. But before she can even say hi or signal that her person has arrived or anything, Matty is tapping that douche on his shoulder, like, kind of aggressively. “Hey, man, I think she’s made it pretty clear she’s not interested in…all this” he gestures vaguely at the guy. “So, why don’t you fuck right off, yes?”

The guy is PISSED. He starts rambling about how Matty thinks he’s better than other men cuz of his dumb little tattoos and his childish haircut, and he’s just kinda like “what the fuck do you think you are?”

Matty’s suppperrr smug in the moment. He just grabs her waist, pulling her into him, and kissing her lips “her boyfriend is who I am. Who the fuck are you?”

Of course, the guy starts to walk away, mumbling under his breath that she’s a slut and she was “leading him on” by not mentioning she was with someone, or whatever, not like she asked him to leave her tf alone a billion times.

Matty is fuckin losing it. Nobody’s gonna insult her in his presence like this. She keeps begging him to just let it go, but he’s in a mood now. So he goes up to the guy, stops him, towers over him (like the short king that he is) and reaches his arm behind the guy to lean over the bar. But the guy thinks Matty’s reaching his arm to, like, hit him or something, so he’s flinching and losing it. Matty just whispers in his ear. “Say another word, and I don’t mind getting arrest to teach you how to talk to women.” Then pats him on his shoulder as if they’re besties “we good? Alright. Enjoy your night, mate.”

And walks away…