#yes very unrealistic

[detectivebambam]

hey btw Wymack recruiting people no one else bothers to look at also means recruiting the two incredibly good players who are considered "too short".

fyi.

YOU CAN ONLY PUT 30 TAGS???

[mickittotheman]

hii 🤗 for the kiss trope: Gallavich and 11 or 49

Hi!!! 🤗🤗🤗

49. ...out of necessity

Ian sighs, drumming his fingers against sun bleached red plastic. Debbie pops out of the water for the millionth time, shoving her soaked hair out of her face and turning to beam at Ian excitedly. He gives her a stained smile and a halfhearted thumbs up.

Okay, yeah, he could probably be more enthusiastic. That had been a pretty impressive flip. 

But he’s tired, and he’s bored, and he feels like he’s cooking in the sun, the shade of the ripped umbrella above him not nearly enough. By the end of the summer, he’ll be nothing but one big freckle. 

It's a good gig. They need the money. He’s been trying to avoid the Kash and Grab, trying to avoid Kash. The pay is decent, and his siblings get free admission. He’d been excited about the prospect of maybe helping someone, maybe saving someone, maybe being the hero for once.

So far, he’s only had to save the occasional bee, and, on one notable occasion, a rat.

He sighs again. Gazes at the water longingly. He wishes he could jump in. He wishes something exciting would happen.

He scans the surface again, scans the perimeter, looking for trouble. It’s busy today. Crowded. Probably because it’s hot as fuck.

There’s a few people from school he recognizes, but there's one group in particular he’s been eyeing, one person in particular.

Mickey Milkovich.

Ian’s never actually talked to him before. But he’s seen him. 

He leaning his back against the fence, smoke wafting up from his lips to the “No Smoking” sign posted just above his head. He’s hot as fuck– in every sense of the word. He’s wearing all black. Black tee with the sleeves cut off, black ripped jeans, black heavy boots. He’s in the shade, but Ian can see the sweat glistening on his skin from all the way over here, and it’s kinda making his mouth water.

He swallows. Looks away. Inevitably looks back.

Mickey’s sister is sunbathing face down on a lounge chair, a skimpy black two piece on her steadily reddening skin, a handful of boys drooling over her, only kept at bay by Mickey’s glare. One of the other Milkovich brothers is there– Iggy? Colin? Ian can never tell them apart– but he’s preoccupied, having ditched guard dog duty in favor of rubbing sunscreen onto some college girl’s back.

He forces himself to focus on the water again. If a kid dies because he was too busy thinking with his dick he’d never live it down.

He’s trying so hard not to look. He blames that on why he misses the initial commotion. When he finally glances over at the sound of raised voices Mandy is standing up, a red mark the shape of a handprint on her ass and a murderous expression on her face. Mickey is already decking the one Ian assumes is the culprit.

Shit.

Ian fumbles for the little whistle around his neck.

Mickey whips around at the shrill noise with a glare, and the other guy seizes the opportunity to shove Mickey into the pool and run.

There’s gasping. Some yelling. A few people scatter, not wanting to be around for when Mickey clambers out and goes fucking ballistic.

But Mickey doesn’t clamber out. He sinks to the bottom in a mess of flailing limbs. 

Shit. 

Ian is in the water in a heartbeat. The shock of cold against his flushed skin is jarring, but he barely pays it any mind. Mandy had jumped in too, and together they manage to haul Mickey up and out and onto the searing hot pavement.

“Shit, Mickey, come on you stupid shithead,” Mandy mutters, smacking at his face.

“I need you to move,” Ian says, and he’s distantly shocked by how calm he sounds.

She doesn’t put up a fight like he was expecting, just scrambles back to give Ian room.

He’s only ever had to do this on crusty foam dummies, but miraculously, muscle memory takes over. He starts compressions. Quick, quicker than you think they should be but not too quick, deep but not too deep. He reaches thirty. Moves his hands up, tips Mickey’s head back, ducks down.

He barely has his lips sealed over Mickey’s when Mickey gasps.

It’s not as romantic as it is in the movies. 

The first thing Mickey does is turn his head and cough up a mixture of chlorinated water and bile. The second thing he does is start biting out curses and kicking.

“Shit,” Ian hisses, scrambling out of range of Mickey’s heavy boots.

“Mickey, Mick, stop,” Mandy scolds, slapping at Mickey again. 

Mickey’s gaze darts around, taking in the situation, the way Mandy is pale and wide eyed, the fact that his clothes are soaked through, the people standing around gawking. 

His skin goes pink. He scowls mutinously. “What the fuck are you people looking at?”

People look away so fast, Ian wouldn’t be surprised if they had whiplash.

Ian laughs, nearly giddy with adrenaline and relief. “Come on. I can get you a towel.” 

And some privacy, goes unsaid, but Mickey picks up on it anyways. He drags himself up, unsuccessfully trying to bat away Mandy’s and Ian's arms as they hook under his shoulders. 

They find the second lifeguard in the locker room with a fresh hickey on his neck and a giggling blonde clinging to him. He goes wide eyed when he sees them, shoves the girl away unceremoniously. “Holy fuck. What happened?”

Ian rolls his eyes. “I’ve got it covered. Will you please just go do your fucking job while I handle this?”

“Don’t need your fucking help,” Mickey grouses. Ian and Mandy ignore him and wrangle him into sitting on one of the benches. “Where the fuck is Iggy?”

“He went to chase after that guy. I’m gonna go grab our bag before someone steals it.” Mandy pats Mickey on the shoulder once. Turns to the door. Pauses with just one foot out to look back.

She bites her lip. Drags her gaze up and down Ian’s form, lingering on his lips, on his still heaving chest, on where his wet swim trunks are clinging to him. “Thank you. For saving my brother. I owe you one.”

“Oh. Oh.” Ian feels his ears go red. He occupies himself with fumbling around in his locker for his towel. “Uh, thank you, but it was nothing, I–”

The door slams shut, Mandy already gone.

“Shit.” Ian sighs. Closes his eyes for a moment. Rubs at his forehead.

Mickey eyes him skeptically and snatches the towel Ian holds out to him. “You know by ‘owe you one’, she means a blowie, right?”

Ian burns even redder. Doesn’t quite manage to keep the grimace off his face. “Yeah.”

“What? You think you're too good for her?” Mickey sneers, bristling like a porcupine.

“No, no! She’s just. Uh. Not my type.”

Mickey glowers at him. Scowls. “What are you, a fucking fag or something?”

Fuck. Mickey wouldn't kill the guy who just saved his life, right? 

Right?

Mickey scowls even harder when Ian flounders. Brings his tattooed fingers up to rub at his mouth. “I oughtta cut your fucking tongue out for putting your goddamn lips on me like that.”

“Trust me, I didn’t exactly enjoy it,” Ian snarks, and he swears, he swears, he sees something like disappointment flash through Mickey’s eyes. Something like hurt. 

His breath stutters. He swallows hard.

“I mean. I didn't exactly get the chance to.”

Mickey freezes.

Ian holds his breath.

Mickey stands abruptly. Tosses the towel towards Ian's chest. Stomps towards the door. 

Oh.

Ian deflates a bit.

Well. Could be worse. Mickey could have straight up murdered him.

Mickey pauses just inside the doorway, one foot out. Looks back. Shoves his tongue out to lick at the corner of his mouth. Looks Ian up and down with a cocked brow. “I owe you one.”

Ian’s eyes widen, but Mickey’s already gone.

send me a number~

[lemonbubble]

damn, people really still have opinions like "this eldritch horror game where your paranoia manifests into real literal tentacles that kill you has an unrealistic amount of women and people of colour in it" and think that's a real proper criticism that should be taken seriously, huh?

embarrassing tbh.

meanwhile, cool and interesting people who are worth listening to are saying things like "hey you ever notice how ingfell resident never uses gendered pronouns when referring to her partner? they could be someone of any gender! that's really cool, i love that :)"

[torgawl]

me: *installs a fun little dating game*

day 3 of playing it: *mc's family dies in an explosion*

[alicepao13]

There is an AU that's been living rent-free on my mind since Hudson and Rex's S06E08, about Charlie being an actual inmate and meeting Sarah who is the prison's doctor. Charlie is in for beating up someone who hurt Rex or something like that (Rex isn't dead, he's like, living with Jesse or Joe, or even Jack, until Charlie gets out) and he's got like, a few months left of his sentence but things are getting worse in the prison so he keeps getting sent to the prison infirmary.

And yes, it would be unethical of them to date, but as Sarah keeps uncovering as string of corruption inside the prison which is one of the reasons Charlie keeps ending up in the infirmary, things get worse for her too, until she almost ends up injured herself. So with Charlie's help (plus the SJPD's), they pretty much uncover all the people behind it, Charlie gets his sentence reduced to time served, Sarah quits and, well, happy ending with them becoming a couple and happy re-uniting with Rex lol

[rxttenfish]

i love it when miranda gets to be stupidly dramatic over nothing. currently in the fic she's wildly upset that aaravi didn't compliment how nice the letter she wrote breaking bad news to aaravi was. she put extra effort making it sound all nice and everything!

[wannabepapa]

Imagine yourself as a fantasy priest for a fertility god. Spontaneous divine pregnancies all the time, a temple of people to help you, revered for your body~

being able to live my life as a priest for my beloved god, carrying the divine love that grows into children for those who can otherwise not have their own? sign 👏 me 👏 UP 👏

do i get to meet with and speak with my god? how was i chosen to be a divine surrogate? do i also get to carry their children if they desire to grow their own family?

i have so many questions

[randomjreader]

Are threezo completely over the top? Yes. Would I absolutely hate them if I met them irl? Oh definitely. Am I completely invested in them in a boss and a babe? Unquestionably, 100%, I need so much more of them on my screen asap.

[lunaechaos]

feeling like an italian housewife in her 40s: played burraco the whole afternoon while drinking gin and then went biking around the lake and got some sorbet on the way back

[indecisive-dizzy]

I’m settling for DearDollops but FlowerLanguage will definitely be used too :DDD

Jealous Eddie? Like, I have an idea of when they were younger, Eddie got a bit jealous whenever Daisey showed interest in other people

He obviously never stopped Daisey from seeing other people, but he always got a little jealous

And years later, they’re now in a poly relationship with Howdy and Frank, everyone wins lmao

DearDollops is a classic when making ship names haha the tride n true slapping names together. and it rolls off the tongue lol their names are so good together

mmm jealous Eddie, it feels ooc but it is a fun concept to play around with!

just wanting to keep his bestie (and crush?, side eye) to himself, sigh. Eddie is too respectful and sweet to interfere yeah, no matter how jealous he gets

the Poly end goal is hilarious and wonderful <3 just smooth them all together with all the love hehe

[tatortatshima]

empty head empty heart absolute exhaustion

[alphacrone]

wine should taste more like grape juice.

[parelmoer]

.

[nerdyfangirlingbooks]

I've had a stupid merlin au idea stuck in my head for days now and I know I'll never get around to writing it the way I want it written but I kinda wanna try anyway even though I am 100% of the target audience

[quatregats]

1, 14, 15, 26, 30 :)

What song makes you feel better?

"Fatou Yo" by Touré Kunda is a throwback to an album that I grew up listening to, but it's such a sweet and happy song that you can't not feel better listening to it <3

14. Whats something upcoming that you’re excited for?

I'm going to be a TA this semester for the first time and I'm so so pumped, I've been wanting to teach for ages and while I have no idea how I'm going to fit my classes and teaching duties together I'm really excited about it.

15. Comfort food?

Pasta with ketchup and the really good whole-milk mozzarella, plus steamed broccoli with salad dressing. Don't worry about it, I was a picky eater as a kid and these were some of my favorite foods then.

26. If you could live anywhere with anyone you want, where would it be and who would you bring?

Oooh, definitely with my three closest friends with whom I really need to live again, and I don't know where I'd live? I like the city I'm in now, or possibly moving back to Boston, or possibly somewhere in Catalonia or Wales or the Basque Country but I'm really not that picky as long as it's pretty walkable and connected. I do want to live in a really weird old house with all kinds of secret rooms and elevators and such though.

30. What do your hobbies look like?

Too many :') I think you see a lot of them on here, but besides writing and drawing and studying languages I also theoretically play piano and violin and like making miniatures. And printmaking. And bike riding. And growing plants. And I still have more things that I want to take up because I'm a fool. I need to develop an interest in things that aren't hobbies tbh

Thank you for all the questions! This was very fun <3

[skitarii-boi]

anyways here is a fuggin sprite of a witch i made whilst learning game development

she has a few eight frame cycles but im not gonna try to figure out how i post a gif on here