#yes this is what I've been doing instead of asks
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factual-fantasy · 3 days ago
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25 Asks! Thank you! :}} 🐬
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@stargirldrawsx3
Oof, that's a tough thing to answer/explain.. Motivation to draw OCs.. uhhhh..
I guess I sometimes just picture them in my head and think "man that would look really cool if I drew it" And then I.. draw. it. 💀
idkkkk-- my apologies, I'm not the best at explaining art stuff. My motivation for drawing/creating OCs just comes and goes. Idk what sparks it or haw to spark it artificially. If I'm not feeling motivated to draw OCs I just draw fanart or other OCs that I do feel like drawing.. sorry i cant be more helpful here! <:(((
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Thank you! :DD And I've been drawing for literally as long as I can remember. Some of my earliest memories are drawing stick figured in my school notebook in my back yard.
Of course though I cant really tell you the estimate of years without revealing my age <XD but I can say that its a very long time! :))
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YES SIR MR ANON SIR! WILL DO SIR! 🫡🫡🫡
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He's an interesting character to me. :0 Aside from his voice being a bit annoying at times. (He sounds like Finn the human but more theatrical.)
Something I've noticed is that it seems like a lot of other characters dump a lot of stuff on Gingerbrave and depend on him to help them. I always wonder/feel like he's got a lot on his plate. I'm surprised he doesn't act more stressed or seem tired at all..
This has made me think of angsty scenarios where Brave gets hurt or sick and has to rest for a few days. But he just cant. He's gotten so used to helping people and always being asked for help that he doesn't feel like he can just sit around and do nothing.
I wonder how much of his self worth is pinned on being the helping hand or the hero. I wonder how he would feel if he suddenly became a "burden" to his friends or Pure Vanilla..
Over all I don't mind his character. He's pretty neat! :))
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@wolfie-777
Tbh..? I didn't really like them <:(
The characters voices in Indigo park were so theatrical and annoying to me that I could hardly focus on the game. I just kept thinking "pleasestoptalkingpleasestoptalkingSHUPUPLLOYD" Also I wasn't a fan of the characters of indigo park being.. living creatures..? They looked uncanny and unrealistic.. how did they even get there-
I would have liked indigo park more if their voices weren't so theatrical and if they were big animatronics or something instead..
Secondly Finding Frankie. I liked the concept actually. Having this fall guys type gameshow thing with a grand prize was cool! And all the parkour gamplay was really unique and fun!
But then Frankie came along and broke the fourth wall. "I'm here to make the game more interesting and spark fan theories!" It took me right out and made the game feel cheap. Then of course the characters are these big monsters with blood that makes no sense... I would be more immersed if they were just big animatronics that went rogue.
All in all, not the biggest fan of these two games 😅
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Thank you for all of this <:)) I'm trying my best to get past these bad health days and get back to drawing. Its been really tough but i hope to come back soon.. Just not to the Octonauts fandom <XDD
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@vivicantdraw
:000 You like my handwriting?? :DD Why thank you! That's very sweet of you to say! :))
Also, that's a great drawing of Barnacles! :00 And akjwendfjef XD The thieves just on fire in the background XDDDD
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I wouldn't count on it <:( I never even finished the show when I was really into it... but hey its always possible I suppose-
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Thank you.. I'm trying my best to just move on and keep drawing. But ngl this has really sucked. My health has been weighing me down so much for months, and now all this art theft and blatant disrespect on top of it? I've tried drawing on my own time but this art block has just not let up.
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@chromchill
I'm doing my best to draw privately, but I hadn't realized how much I relied on peoples nice comments for motivation. This art block has been killer.
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@bred-by-insanity
Awe! Cute dog! :))
And thank you.. I'm doing my best. But man this just sucks.
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I will never accept anyone's excuses for disrespecting my, or other artists boundaries.
And yeah, thank you.. I miss people interacting kindly with my Octonauts stuff.. But its not worth all the theft. Same with FNAF. I've decided to just draw those in private.
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Well don't get me wrong, my FNAF stuff gets stolen, traced and copied a lot too. The Octonauts ones just happen more frequently. 🙄
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(Referencing this post)
XD Yeah he got out eventually
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I do not, I'm only found on here on Tumblr! (And my YouTube channel that I never post to)
Remember, if you find my artwork anywhere else, it is 100% stolen every time. No exceptions.
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@misfortuneandflamingos
AAAA THANYOUU!! :DDDD
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<XD Thank you. And yeah the world just be broken like that 😔
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I've seen fanart of those things, but haven't looked into it myself :00
Also thank you!! :DD
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(Link in ask)
Thank you! I'm hoping to find ways to post some TADC stuff soon <:)
Also wow- I see the resemblance! But this is the first time I'm seeing this character, its purely a coincidence :0
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Link in ask
Aww!! I love Sylveon 😭💞💞
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Thank you, and don't worry- I see what you were getting at <:)
I'm doing my best to move on from this and I'm working on getting my confidence back. I think I just needed a big break from Tumblr to just indulge and games and stuff.. I'm hoping to return soon.
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(Referencing this post)
XDD I'm glad you like it! :DD That one was really fun to draw 🤣🤣
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@smil3y-f4c3
Hmmm... good question.. Well, my favorite is Dusknoir. I can see Bibi liking Sylveon... hmmm.. Jangles probably likes weird or funny looking Pokémon, mayyybe Mr Mime..? I can see Cici liking Mimiku.. as for Gerald I can see him having a surprising interest in pokemon like Xerneous, Dialga and Deoxys. Maybe Xerneous being his favorite.
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@smg6-the-memer
I'm hanging in there as best I can <:/ I hope you're well! :))
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@neo-metalscottic
Oof, been there buddy! I hope you have a speedy recovery. <:) As for me I haven't been doing so great. Have had some rough health days recently and lost a lot of my confidence about posting my artwork online. It feels like every time I check here someone has sent me yet another stolen piece of art I made. I've spent my time just screwing around on Roblox to get away from it all 😔
Now Mario and Luigi: Brothership.. I've heard of it but haven't played it myself. I've been meaning to watch someone do a playthrough of it sometime <XD
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nerdallwritey · 20 hours ago
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About to Strike (Part 2)
***IMPORTANT! PLEASE NOTE: This is Part 2 to Part 6 (it makes sense, I promise) of my Beauty and the Bard series! Find Part 1 of this chapter here. If you'd rather read it all in one go, it's also posted to AO3.
Summary: “Oh,” he said smoothly, his features settling into a seductive smirk. “Giving me a ring so soon, my sweet? I’m flattered.” He plucked the ring from your hand and attempted to slide it onto his fingers. “Alas,” he sighed dramatically, “it’s too small - something I've never had trouble with in the past.” You made a face and smacked him lightly on his bicep, causing him to laugh. He caught your hand in his and examined your fingers. “I suppose you’ll have to wear it instead.”  He slid the ring onto your pinky gently.  It was a perfect fit.  The two of you stared down at it for a moment, a quiet tension hanging in the air. “Mine,” he breathed, turning the ring over and over around your finger.  “Yours,” you confirmed, bringing a hand to his cheek and looking him in the eyes. OR You and Astarion have a room to yourselves at the Last Light Inn. What happens next?
Pairing: Astarion x f!reader Rating: 18+ Word count: 21.3k (This particular part is 10.6k) CW: smut, reader is new to sex,piv sex, oral (male receiving), hand job, vaginal fingering, mentions of Astarion's past trauma, blood drinking, mild angst, protective Astarion, soft Astarion, whimpering Astarion, porn with feelings, reader is an idiot (and a bard), so is Astarion (not a bard, just an idiot), lots of party banter, AND JAHEIRA!! Spoilers: Minor spoilers for Act 1 and 2 (in-game dialogue, plot points, etc.), as well as Astarion's plotline Also posted to: AO3 Last chance to go back to Part 1 of this chapter!
a/n: So sorry to be posting another tumblr two parter. Once I started writing, I simply couldn't stop. Thank you if you made it this far! Your reward is once again smut! I hope you all enjoy :) (Thank you to @kermitwazowski for beta reading!)
The room was fairly cozy; a full sized bed was made neatly in the back left corner by a door that led out into the wrap-around porch that surrounded the inn, while an upholstered couch sat in front of a large window, and a storage chest was hidden behind an ornate screen, full of alchemical materials and a few gold pieces. 
You set your backpack down and removed your armor, taking note of the contents of the room and pausing when you saw Astarion on his hands and knees by the bed. 
“What are you doing?” you asked, shutting the curtains on the window and raising your eyebrows at him as he held his ear to the ground. 
“Shh, shh, shh, quiet darling,” he said softly and knocked on the board below his ear. His eyes lit up when the wood made a hollow sound. “Just as I thought!” He sat up on his knees and pried at the edge of the board until it lifted to reveal a small hiding cubby for valuables underneath. He flashed you a winning grin before reaching his arm down into the hole blindly.
You sat on the bed to get a better angle as you watched and leaned forward to brush your hands through his hair. 
“Aha! Found something!” he said assuredly before retracting his arm to share his findings with you. He opened his hand to reveal a crumpled letter and a tarnished ring. 
You snorted. “A thrilling yield,” you said, patting his shoulder, “well done.”
Astarion let out a frustrated exhale. “Maybe the ring is worth something?” he tossed the letter aside, which you picked up and scanned quickly. 
“This Ketheric Thorm guy seems to be no joke,” you said absently, reflecting on the contents of the letter. The author wrote of feeling stuck at the inn on their way to Baldur’s Gate, and of how the people from the nearby village were on edge whenever they were asked about Ketheric. It had clearly been written long ago.
Astarion had one eye closed and inspected the ring closely. “Yes, yes, he’s a brute and a hellion, blah blah blah, we can worry about that tomorrow.” He opened his eye again and turned to you. “Tell me, dear, what does this say?”
He handed you the ring, which was ice cold when you held it in your palm. You sensed that it was full of ice magic, and took a closer look at the inside of the band. A series of names had been scratched out, one after the other. The last word, however, was untouched, and not a name.
“‘Mine,’” you read aloud. 
Astarion was already up and looking for more items hidden within the room. “You don’t need to lay claim to it,” he said, inspecting an emerald ring that he found on the dresser, “it’s worthless. You can have it.”
You laughed. “No,” you said, getting up and walking over to him. You held the ring between your thumb and index finger, angling it in front of his face to where the inscription could be read in the candle light. “Mine,” you repeated. 
“Oh,” he said smoothly, his features settling into a seductive smirk. “Giving me a ring so soon, my sweet? I’m flattered.” He plucked the ring from your hand and attempted to slide it onto his fingers. “Alas,” he sighed dramatically, “it’s too small - something I've never had trouble with in the past.” You made a face and smacked him lightly on his bicep, causing him to laugh. He caught your hand in his and examined your fingers. “I suppose you’ll have to wear it instead.” 
He slid the ring onto your pinky gently. 
It was a perfect fit. 
The two of you stared down at it for a moment, a quiet tension hanging in the air.
“Mine,” he breathed, turning the ring over and over around your finger. 
“Yours,” you confirmed, bringing a hand to his cheek and looking him in the eyes. 
His hand came up to meet yours and his eyes were half lidded when you closed the distance and kissed him fiercely. Your tongue flicked out to prod at his bottom lip and he gladly opened for you with a rumble low in his chest. He pulled you closer by the hips and shuffled you backwards toward the bed.
“Mine,” he repeated between breaths. “You’re mine,” he growled and pushed you backwards with enough force to make you fall onto the bed. You yelped gleefully and repositioned yourself to be more comfortable as he climbed on top of you. He continued to kiss you eagerly; all over your face, jaw, and throat.
“Aren’t you…” your breathing was heavy and your heartbeat thrummed in your ears, “aren’t you scared of hurting me?”
Astarion paused his kisses and pulled back to look at you. “Are you complaining?”
“Not at all,” you exhaled, pulling him back down by the collar of his shirt and kissing him clumsily as you threw your arms around his neck. 
He moaned weakly against your mouth. “I’ve missed you,” he said, moving down to drag his fangs along your throat. 
“Bite me,” you sighed, angling your head to give him better access to feed. 
“Ah, ah, ah,” he cooed and clicked his tongue. “If this night continues how I think it’s going to, then I’d rather taste you-” he moved his mouth to your ear and said lowly, “-while I’m inside of you.”
You shivered and threw your hands over your face, whining pathetically. “From anyone else, that would have been terrible.”
“Mmm,” he hummed as he nuzzled his nose along your jawline. “But you can’t leave now. I’ve given you a ring, which you’ve foolishly accepted.”
“Ah,” you nodded slowly, “trapped by societal expectations. Curses!” You held your fist up to the sky, cursing no one in particular. “Though, that means you’re trapped with me, too.”
Astarion continued kissing you, making a noise of affirmation against your mouth. “A shame, considering I can’t stand you,” he rolled his hips, causing you to inhale sharply when you felt how hard he already was. “Ignore that, that has nothing to do with my hatred for you.”
“I can tell,” you teased, palming at his shirt. 
He took the hint and sat up to pull the fabric over his head.
You watched him, your eyes roaming all over his unfairly beautiful body, until they landed on his left thigh and you gasped. 
“You’re bleeding!” 
“I’m what?” Astarion looked himself over, but fell backwards when you sprang off the bed to run towards your backpack.
“You’re bleeding,” you said again, shuffling back over to him with your bag in hand and rummaging through your belongings to find the salve and bandages you’d been using on your own wound. 
Astarion now saw the crimson stain on the front of his leg, complete with a slash through the fabric of his pants. “And I just mended these,” he sighed.
“Take them off,” you instructed, tapping his right thigh.
He smirked. “Are you sure, darling? You might like what you see.”
You gave him a look that said “I’m being serious,” and he groaned.
“Fine.” He stood and undid the clasps of his trousers before shimmying out of them and dropping them ungracefully onto the floor next to him. He sat back down on the bed and you did your best not to stare at his erection. He rolled his eyes. “It’s not going to bite you,” he said. “Though I certainly intend to.” He raised his eyebrows seductively.
You nodded absently at his comment, to which he muttered, “Oh, you’re no fun,” and began to assess his wound. It looked as though it had stopped bleeding hours ago, but the fact remained that he had gotten injured in the first place. You got up again and walked over to the wash basin in the corner of the room to retrieve water to clean the blood. 
“When did you get this?” You knelt in front of him with the wet cloth and began to gently dab at the injury. “Why didn’t you say anything?” 
He shrugged, watching your hands. “I suppose I got it from one of those cultists we battled earlier. But my armor was too dark to see the blood.”
“You didn’t feel it?” you asked.
Astarion laughed humorlessly. “I’ve felt more pain in my life than anyone should ever have to.” Your hands froze at that. He sighed. “I may have felt something slash me, but obviously it wasn’t enough to take me down.”
“Obviously,” you smiled up at him sadly. 
He looked back at you fondly and brushed his fingers across your cheekbone. Then he furrowed his brow. “If I’m not mistaken, you know a healing spell or two that could make quick work of this scratch.”
It was hardly a scratch. An injury like this would have downed a weaker man. Or at least made it harder for him to walk. It wasn’t a very deep wound, but you had no doubt that it had been painful.
You felt your cheeks go red. “I do have some healing spells…”
“But…?”
“But… you took such good care of me while I was healing, I feel like I should return the favor.” You looked back up at him shyly. 
He was watching you smugly and sitting back on his hands. “Go on then,” he nodded his head towards the salve you were about to spread over the wound. 
You pressed your lips into a line and focused on covering the entire injured area tenderly, but effectively. “I can still cast a healing spell if you’d prefer.”
“Oh no, dear,” his laugh was real this time, “I’d much rather experience your soft touches and longing glances than one quick blip from the weave.”
“I always knew you only wanted me for my soft touches and longing glances,” you teased. 
“Call me old fashioned,” he shrugged with a smirk. 
“Astarion!” you gasped, reaching for the salve and spreading a generous amount on his thigh. “You shouldn’t call yourself old. You don’t look a day over two hundred and fifty!”
“Very funny,” he narrowed his eyes at you. “But I’m not two hundred and fifty!”
You tilted your head, concealing a smile. “You’re not? My apologies.” 
“And to think I was going to allow you to have sex with me tonight.” He sat up and crossed his arms. “Pity. Your loss.”
As an act of rebellion, you reached forward and squeezed his cock through his underwear. Astarion let out a pathetic whine and his entire body tensed. 
He looked at you and furrowed his brow. “Warn a man, would you?”
“Sorry,” you said genuinely, hiding behind an awkward smile. 
He bounced his left leg, bringing your attention back to the wound. “Now hurry up and wrap my damn leg.” 
You nodded and began to wind the bandages you’d collected around his thigh. “Is this tight enough?” you asked after a few wraps. 
Astarion nodded, once again watching your hands. “Yes, darling. You make a marvelous nursemaid.”
Your eyes wandered as you continued to wrap the wound. His thighs were more muscular than you’d ever noticed. Being this up close and personal with them made you appreciate just how powerful he was. You’d never admit that to him, lest it go to his head, but in these past weeks since you’d met him, all the running, and fighting, and crouching in preparation to strike enemies, had really paid off. 
Hesitantly, you leaned forward and kissed the tender skin on the inside of his thigh. 
He inhaled shakily in response. “Easy,” he said on an equally shaky exhale. 
Slowly, you placed another kiss inside his thigh, higher this time, all the while still wrapping his wound. You watched his face intently.
He was focused completely on you, his pupils blown wide.
You kissed him again, even higher. “Does that feel nice?” you asked.
“Don’t be si-illy,” he rolled his eyes but his voice caught when you kissed him again. “Of course it feels nice.”
“Good,” you smiled and licked a stripe from the middle of his thigh, up to the top, bringing your face dangerously close to his bulge. You were pretty sure you saw it twitch.
Astarion shuddered. “Gods above…”
You tucked the bandage into itself and tugged it a little to make sure it was sturdy. When you were satisfied, you stood up fully and wrapped your arms around Astarion’s neck.
“There,” you said quietly, stepping between his legs. You watched his mouth before finding his eyes again. “All better.”
Astarion nodded wordlessly, watching your mouth in turn.
“Tell me next time you’re hurt,” you leaned your forehead against his.
“Careful what you wish for, darling,” he purred. “I may willingly step in front of an arrow if it means I get to have your attention all to myself.” He went to kiss you but you pulled back with a laugh.
“As if you don’t always have my attention.”
He smiled and shrugged. “Sometimes you speak to the others.” He pouted, adding, “It’s awful.” 
You mirrored his pout. “Poor thing.”
He pulled you closer by the hips and kissed your clothed stomach. “Enough stalling,” he reached for the hem of your shirt. “I’ve waited long enough to have you again.”
When he went to pull your shirt up, you halted his wrists. He looked up at you curiously.
“What’s the matter, my sweet?”
You took a step back and fiddled with the hem of your shirt. “It’s nothing.”
Astarion raised an eyebrow at you. “Somehow, I don’t believe that.”
You exhaled through your nose. “It’s just that… well… I know you’ve seen every part of me-”
“Yes.”
“-and that you liked what you saw.”
“Oh, yes.”
“But now…” you waved your hands through the air, trying to say what you wanted to say without sounding stupid. “Now I’ve got this scar.” You held a hand to the wound on your right side. 
It had been a few days now that you’d gone without wrapping the injury. The skin had healed and no longer bled, now it was just a matter of stretching and continuing to let your body heal itself. But it also meant that you saw the remnants of your near death experience every time you looked down. Not to mention the twin wound on your back. You didn’t like seeing the scar, which honestly could have been much more gruesome, but it only served as a reminder of how badly you’d messed up that day. You hated remembering the terrified look on Astarion’s face when he cradled you on the battlefield, or the way he held you close as he ran for help. The whole thing was just… ugly.
And yet, Astarion laughed. 
“You seem to forget who you’re talking to, darling.”
You scrunched your nose at him. “Your scars are a horrible reminder of everything you’ve gone through at the hands of that horrible man. Mine are from a mistake I made that scared the hells out of the person I l- care for the most. You’re a survivor, I’m just… a problem.” 
“Dearest, you’re someone who also survived.” Astarion stood from the bed. 
You avoided his gaze. “But it’s my fault it happened in the first place. You didn’t sign up for this.” You gestured to your torso and rested a hand over where the scar was hidden under your shirt. 
“No,” he said softly, bending to kiss your neck. “But you’re someone who I’ll choose again and again, regardless of some trivial blemish.”
You froze and watched him pull away, noting that soft look in his eye that you loved so much. “Really?”
He rolled his eyes and placed his hands on the hem of your shirt again. “May I?”
You twisted the ring on your pinky to distract yourself. “Okay.”
Astarion bent to kiss your lips softly, then carefully pulled the shirt over your head. 
The scar cut diagonally across your appendix region, pink and shining ever so slightly in the candle light.
“Do you know why I love this scar?” Astarion sank to his knees before you, never breaking eye contact with you. 
Your breath caught in your throat. Instead of making some sort of snarky remark about what he’d just said as a means of deflection, you merely shook your head. 
“I love this scar-” he leaned forward to kiss the tender skin, “-because, like your heartbeat, it means you're still here.” He kissed across your stomach. “With me.” He took your hand and fiddled with the ring on your finger. “Mine.” He looked up at you smugly.
You let out a breathy laugh. “You’re going to be insufferable about that, aren’t you?” 
“Absolutely,” he said, narrowing his eyes seductively and standing up to kiss your mouth again. 
You whimpered lamely when he slid his tongue into your mouth and turned to push you gently onto the bed. Once you were comfortably lying among the pillows, he climbed on top of you again and continued kissing you slowly. 
“Are you okay?” he asked against your lips.
“Uh huh,” you exhaled, wrapping your arms around his neck. 
“Good,” he whispered, and rolled his hips against your pelvis, reminding you of his desire.
You tangled your leg around his. “Astarion…” you sighed.
He was kissing across your jaw, rolling his hips slowly. “Yes, sweet girl?”
“I want to try something,” you placed a hand on his chest to gently signal for him to stop his kisses.
“Oh?” he smirked. “Feeling experimental, are we?”
You nodded shyly, then pushed lightly on his shoulder to get him to pull away from you. “Take my spot,” you said, sitting up and gesturing for him to lie down where you had just been. 
“What are you planning?” he asked with a smile and obediently took your place at the head of the bed. “Riding me again? Bondage of some kind? Or perhaps something you read in one of Shadowheart’s cheap paperbacks?”
You sat back on your knees between his legs. “I told you that you took such good care of me when I was hurt,” you rubbed your hands up and down his thighs, careful to avoid his wrapped cut, “now it’s my turn to take care of you.”
Astarion raised an eyebrow. “Is it, now? And I’m assuming this doesn’t involve wrapping some other wound I haven’t noticed.” 
You shook your head. “Do you trust me?”
He let out an amused breath through his nose. “Of course I do.” Then he added, “But don’t make me regret it.”
You grinned at him and marveled at the way he watched you, so open and unafraid. It made your heart soar. You cleared your throat. 
“I’ll need your help,” you dipped your head bashfully. 
“Anything,” he said, not taking his eyes off your face. 
You leaned forward and kissed his clothed cock.
“Ohhh,” he sighed blissfully. “You’re very sweet, darling, but you don’t have to-”
“I want to,” you said, kissing him again.
Astarion closed his eyes and arched his back a little, chasing the warmth your lips left behind. When he opened his eyes, he looked almost embarrassed by the neediness his hips had given away.
“Please,” you said softly. “I want nothing more than to take care of you, my love.”
He remained silent as he considered your offer.
“Show me how,” you hooked your fingers under the waistband of his underwear and felt him shiver beneath you.
Then you watched the mask go up with a seductive arch of his eyebrow. “Yes, I suppose we can give it a try,” Astarion said, his voice airy and detached. 
You immediately crawled up the bed to hover over his face. He looked back at you with a alluring smirk. “Hey,” you said, kissing the corner of his mouth. “It’s me.” You brushed his cheek with the back of your knuckles. “You’re safe.”
Astarion stared at you before shaking his head mildly and smiling. “I know,” he said. “I want this.”
You bent and kissed him deeply, reaching a hand up to massage the tip of his left ear. 
He moaned quietly and you felt his hips bump yours, seeking friction. “Please,” he whispered.
You gave him a sideways smile before shimmying back down his body and hooking your fingers under his waistband again. 
“Wait,” he interrupted. 
You paused. “What’s wrong?”
He pouted - something you realized he did quite a lot, now that you thought about it. “I miss your breasts.”
You snorted and crawled up to him once more. “Would you care to do the honors?” You hovered above him, low enough that he could reach behind your back and undo the clasps of your bra. 
“More than anything,” he murmured. Almost as soon as he answered was the clothing off your body and on the floor next to the bed. He sat up a little and took one of your nipples into his mouth.
“Hey!” you laughed and pushed him away. “Bad.” You pointed a scolding finger at him. “I’m supposed to be pleasuring you.”
Astarion smiled, half lidded. “Apologies, darling. You’re too delicious, and I’ve missed your taste.”
“Yeah, yeah,” you deflected and tried once more to travel down his hips. “Is this okay?” you asked, once more hooking your fingers under his waistband.
“Yes, my sweet.” His voice was soft and genuine, with the slightest twinge of eagerness. 
You nodded and pulled at his undergarments, working them down his hips and onto the floor next to you. When his cock emerged, it was red and swollen, leaking precum at the tip. You tried not to look intimidated by this new, somewhat daunting task that laid before you, but Astarion saw your expression and laughed. 
“Is it as pretty as you remembered?” he asked, barely containing his mirth. 
“Gorgeous,” you teased. “Now tell me what to do.”
He laughed again. “Well, when I was pleasuring another man, I’d start with my hands. They usually enjoyed that.”
You tilted your head to the side. “But is that what you like to start with?”
“I-” he paused. “A good question. I was rarely on this end of things. But… Yes, I do enjoy your hands on me. You’re warm. And you moisturize.”
Now you laughed. “Glad you noticed.”
“You’re wonderfully soft, my dear,” he confirmed. “Now… do you remember what I’ve shown you before?”
“Yes,” you said and reached forward, taking his shaft into your hand and squeezing slightly. 
“Ah,” Astarion shut his eyes and smiled. “Good.”
You moved your hand upwards towards the head and twisted, gathering some of his precum and spreading it down his length as you brought your hand back down. 
“That’s it,” he said softly, his eyes still closed. “The tip is particularly sensitive.”
You nodded, not that he could see you, and raised your hand up again to swipe your thumb over his slit.
“Oh, yes, that feels amazing,” he opened his eyes to watch you with a lopsided grin. “May I show you something?”
“Please,” you said, pulling your hand away. 
“No no,” he shook his head and lifted himself up with one arm. “Give me your hand,” he held his out and you allowed him to guide you back towards his cock. “Right here,” he said, leading your hand to the underside of the head where it connected with his shaft, “feels marvelous when you stroke it gently. Like this.” He took your thumb and ran it over the skin lightly, back and forth. He exhaled, blowing cool air into your face before lying back down. “Just like that,” he sighed, his voice gravelly. 
Feeling brave, you kept lightly stroking the area and spat into your free hand before wrapping it around his length and pumping up and down. 
Astarion inhaled sharply at the sensation. “I see you’re not completely in the- ah- the dark.”
You smiled. “I may have been reading some of Shadowheart’s cheap paperbacks, yes.”
He laughed airly. “You’re adorable.” 
“Am I?” you asked mischievously before repositioning yourself between his legs so that you were now lying on your stomach, your hands never stopping their motions. You leaned forward and replaced the hand at his tip with your tongue, swiping back and forth repeatedly. He tasted of salt and sweat and something that you’d describe as distinctly Astarion.
His body jerked involuntarily. “Why you…” He leaned up to look at you and noted the glee in your eyes. “Cheeky,” he chuckled. 
You kissed the tip of his cock and licked at his slit, which was still weeping precum. 
“Unf,” Astarion whined. 
You hummed lightly. “Does that feel good?” Your left hand was still pumping up and down, and you bent to kiss the underside of his cock.
“Yes,” he sighed, reaching forward to twist a hand into your hair. “But darling,” he squeezed his eyes shut, “I may need more.”
“Would you like my mouth?” you asked bluntly.
He eyed you curiously. “Do you really want to?”
You rolled your eyes and licked his slit again. “No, clearly not.” 
Astarion laughed shakily. “Then, if you’re offering, there’s nothing I’d like more than your mouth.”
“Good,” you smiled. “You’ll have to help me. There’s only so much a paperback can teach you.”
“I don’t know, what you were doing felt pretty good,” he smiled.
“I’m being serious,” you said. “I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel.”
“How sweet,” he twisted his hand more tightly into your hair. “Of course I’ll help, sweet girl.”
You turned your head towards his hand in your hair and kissed his wrist. “What first?”
“First,” he said, “you need to relax. Let go of the tension in your shoulders.”
“Okay,” you nodded and focused on relaxing your muscles. “I just want to get this right.”
“And you will, pet, but I can promise you that this will be much more enjoyable for both of us if you’re out of your own head.”
You scoffed. “Me? Thinking too much? How dare you.”
“Mmm,” Astarion hummed teasingly. “My mistake.” He took in your eager expression and chuckled again. “Rather than trying to fit me in your mouth all in one go, I find that it’s quite useful to tease first. Like what you were just doing with your kissing and licking. That feels remarkable.”
“Kissing and licking,” you repeated. “Got it.”
“And then,” he continued, “when you think you’re ready, you can slowly start taking me into your mouth. But be wary of your teeth and choking.” He thought for a moment before adding “And pay attention to me.”
“Is that not what this is?”
He gave you a mildly annoyed, but unsurprised look. “Yes, clearly. I mean, listen to your partner. Their voice and body will usually give away if they’re feeling good and what they like best.”
“Kiss, lick, mouth, careful of choking, listen to you. I think I can do that.”
“Teeth, darling,” he said, flashing his fangs, “don’t forget to mind the teeth.”
“You never do,” you teased.
He smiled, but you observed some hesitation in his face. “Really, darling, you don’t have to-”
“Shush,” you said, sitting up on your knees and leaning forward to kiss his mouth. “I want to do this. You deserve to be taken care of for once.”
His eyes were nothing but fond when he bent upwards to kiss you. “Alright,” he murmured.
“Tell me if anything feels bad,” you said, repositioning yourself between his legs. “So help me gods, I’m going to make you come tonight.”
Astarion laughed. “I believe in you, darling.”
You kissed his tip again and returned your hand to pumping his shaft once again. 
“Yes,” Astarion breathed, “hands are good too.”
Boldly, you started licking long, languid strokes with the flat of your tongue up and down the head of his cock. 
Astarion’s hips jerked involuntarily. “Very good,” he groaned.
You planted a kiss where your tongue had just been, then removed your hand to lick a stripe from the base of his length up to the top. You blew softly on the saliva left behind and smiled when his thighs tensed and heard his breath catch in his throat. He sighed out your name, a blissful look on his face. You alternated between kissing and licking and paid close attention to areas that had Astarion bucking his hips, or biting his lip, or moaning softly.
His hands tightened in your hair when you licked a particularly sensitive spot. “Gods,” he focused his eyes on you, “you’re wonderful.”
You kissed him once more before saying, “I’m going to try taking you now.”
Astarion’s breath caught again, this time with anticipation. “Go slow, darling. There’s no rush.”
“Don’t you have dinner plans?” you deflected with a joke, trying not to get too in your head before taking him into your mouth.
Astarion groaned. “You are my dinner plans, you rotten woman.”
“We should stop talking now.”
“Agreed.”
You took a deep breath to slow your heart rate, which had Astarion chuckling again.
“Honestly darling, if this is too much-”
Before he could finish, you wrapped your mouth around the head of his cock and swirled your tongue in a circular motion, causing him to gasp loudly and arch his back in surprise. You giggled at his reaction, the vibration of your voice further causing him to clutch at the sheets beneath him. 
“Oh…” he breathed. “More of that, please.”
You did as instructed and added your hand to pump up and down his length. He let out a small cry of pleasure in response. You gave an experimental suck and were delighted to be met with an even louder cry of pleasure.
“Darling,” he moaned, “you’re a natural.”
You hummed a “thank you” and lowered your head, attempting to take more of him into your mouth.
“Ah,” Astarion squeaked. “So warm.”
Your hand continued to work the base of his cock while you took even more of him, experimenting with your limit. When he bumped against the back of your throat, you felt yourself gag, and pulled back.
“No,” Astarion whined, “come back…”
“Sorry,” you wiped your eyes to rid yourself of the tears that had involuntarily gathered at the corners.
He watched your hand, still pumping up and down. “Don’t apologize, dear, just come back to me.”
You studied his face, which was relaxed, save for the mild distress caused by your mouth leaving him. “You’re enjoying it?”
“Can’t you tell?” He took your chin in his hand and smiled fondly. “I think you know me well enough by now to know if I was faking it.”
You nuzzled his hand. “I would hope so.”
“Please darling,” he whispered, “you’re doing so well. Give it another go.”
You smiled, thrilled that you were able to do this for him and that he was actually enjoying himself. “Any tips for gagging?”
He brushed his thumb over your bottom lip. “Well if you’re nervous that I don’t like it, throw that thought away. The sensation of your throat constricting is heavenly.”
“Good to know,” you nodded.
“But if you don’t like the sensation, I’ve read that squeezing your left thumb can help reduce your gag reflex. And it’s worked for me when I’ve tried it.” He held up his left hand and demonstrated wrapping his other four fingers around his thumb. You swapped your left hand, which was still slowly stroking him, with your right hand, and mirrored the motion. He nodded. “That’s it.”
“Okay,” you said with a newfound confidence. You dipped your head back down and kissed the head of his cock again before taking him back into your mouth gradually.
Astarion threw his head back, a fangy smile gracing his features. “Ahh…” he exhaled.
You felt him twitch in your mouth and giggled. The vibration of that once again had Astarion humming pleasantly. Rather than seeing how far you could take him this time, you took a decent amount before lifting back up and bobbing back down. You repeated this a few times, trying to take more of him with each bob of your head. 
Astarion twisted a hand into your hair again and whined out your name. “So good… so good for me.”
When his tip bumped the back of your throat this time, you squeezed your thumb and found yourself not as rattled this time. Emboldened, you started taking even more of him, despite the tears gathering in your eyes. 
“Oh gods,” he whimpered when you let your right hand move downwards to start fondling his balls lightly. 
You hummed again before popping off of him to catch your breath. Astarion’s chest was rising and falling heavily, and the smile on his face was nothing short of euphoric.
“You better not stop,” he said through a laugh.
“Those of us still living actually need to breathe, sorry,” you licked along his shaft again before returning to bobbing up and down, with him down your throat. You swallowed involuntarily, which had him whimpering again and bucking his hips deeper. 
“Ah,” he moaned quietly. “You feel perfect. I could have you like this forever.” 
You hummed an affirmation, making his hips twitch again. 
“Don’t you…” his breathing was still labored, despite his lack of breath, “Don’t you dare make a… snide remark about being together… forever.”
“Mmm,” you said, sounding an awful lot like “Aww.” You pulled back up and swirled your tongue around the head again.
“Oh…” he moaned again. “You’ll have to… show me… the paperbacks you’ve been reading.”
You gave him a thumbs up with the hand that wasn’t currently fondling his balls and brought it back down to slide it up and down his thigh softly. Goosebumps emerged on his skin and he inhaled sharply. 
“I’m close, darling girl,” he brushed his hand through your hair encouragingly before fisting it tightly again. “Keep going.”
You could feel with your tongue as you bobbed back down that he was more rigid now than when you’d begun. He was also twitching more frequently and bucking his hips to chase after your mouth. 
He ran his free hand through his hair. “Where shall I-?”
You gave him a brutal suck before popping off with a filthy sound. “Not sure I’m ready to swallow yet,” you admitted shyly, despite a string of drool connecting you to him. Your right hand was back to twisting around his length.
He loosed a breathy laugh. “Understandable.”
“I suppose on my chest?”
He laughed again. “You- ah- suppose?”
“I don’t know!” you exclaimed. “Is that sexy? I’ve never been cum on before.”
He smiled fondly and thumbed over your lip again. “You’re always sexy, pet.”
“Liar,” you laughed, “you’ve seen me drool in my sleep.”
“And what a sexy drooler you are,” he teased.
You scowled. “Ew, don’t say that.”
He groaned, but not at your remark. “Really darling, I can’t hold on much longer.”
“Right,” you said, “chest it is.” You returned your mouth to his cock, kissing it sloppily before taking him back into your mouth as much as you could. 
You decided to start humming “Bard Song” while moving up and down, a callback to the night of the tiefling party, when he’d hummed an offkey version for you. 
“Ohh, please,” he whimpered pathetically at the humming sensation mixed with your hands on his shaft and thigh, “please.”
You took that as encouragement to hum a bit louder.
“More,” Astarion whined, “faster.”
You squeezed your hand around his length a bit harder and started increasing your speed. He, in turn, was letting out louder, less censored moans.
“Good,” he breathed, “such a good girl.” His hips began bucking wildly and you did your best to remain where you were. “I’m going to- ah- darling,” his eyes rolled back before he shut them and reached to tap your shoulder, signaling for you to stop.
You pulled back to hover over him and watched as he began stroking himself furiously. Wanting to spur him on even more, you began massaging the tips of his ears, which had him calling out your name before spilling all over your chest and his abdomen. 
The sensation was sticky and warm, and you were surprised by just how much of it there was. Normally you’d try to avoid a mess like this, but seeing the intense focus turned to pure bliss on Astarion’s face made it all worth it.
He opened his eyes and gave you the most radiant smile you’d ever seen. “Oh, darling,” he sat up and kissed your mouth fiercely, “that was incredible.” 
“I’m glad it was to your liking,” you smiled against his lips and kissed him again. He pulled you closer, making your chest press against his. “Oh!” you yelped, pulling back and observing how his cum on your chest had transferred onto his chest.
Astarion brought a hand up to his face and swiped it down his features as he laughed. “Not the worst thing I’ve been covered in.”
“I will not be asking you to elaborate,” you said.
“Nor would I want you to.” He sat up a little. “Let’s get you cleaned up, beautiful.”
“No, no, no,” you held a gentle hand to his chest and made him lie back down. “Allow me.” You rolled off of him and walked over to the wash basin in the corner.
Astarion sat back up to watch you. “Well,” he said airily, “one could get used to this sort of service.”
You found a clean cloth and wet it thoroughly. “Get used to it, pretty boy,” you walked back over to him, “you’re not in this alone anymore.”
“I suppose I’m not,” he chuckled. 
You began to wipe Astarion down, ridding his chest of any unwanted substance before moving down to his stomach. You gasped when you felt him lean forward and lick your chest. “What are you doing?”
“Just helping to expedite the process.” He smirked at you. “I’m not done with you yet.”
“How kind,” you said, pushing him back. “Um… did you want me to do that to you?”
Astarion blinked a few times. “Oh, no, certainly not. I mean, unless you want to!” He searched your eyes, but you scrunched your nose a little at the thought. “Yes,” he chuckled, “I find the process to be rather… I don’t know… It’s not my favorite thing. Much too salty.”
“Then… why are you doing it now?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted, watching your hands clean off his stomach with the cloth, “other men liked it when I put on a bit of a show when it came to cum.”
“Well, I’m not other men.” you said, dramatically gripping your breasts firmly in both hands, then regretting it when they came away sticky.
He laughed. “Let me help you, dear.”
You allowed him to take the cloth from you and observed him thoughtfully. “Just so you know, you never have to put on a show for me.”
He met your eye, looking at a loss for words. 
“I mean,” you said quickly, “you can if you want to, but you never have to. I like you, and it’s not because of how great you are at sex.”
“Ah,” he nodded, “so you finally admit it.”
“Shut up,” you slapped his bicep gently. “You know what I mean.”
He sighed and looked at you fondly. “What ever did I do to deserve a sweetheart like you?”
“You’ve always deserved this kind of care,” you said, brushing your thumb across his cheekbone. “I’m just sorry it took so long for me to find you.”
He pressed his forehead to yours and spoke softly. “You really took your time, didn’t you? Selfish.”
You snorted and pushed him away, a devilish grin on his face. “That’s a new one, by the way,” you smiled. “‘Sweetheart.’”
He began to wipe your stomach clean, paying extra delicate attention to the area around your scar. “Like that one? There’s plenty more in the arsenal. Let’s see…” He bent and kissed your neck. “Sweetheart… sweetie… sweetness…”
“I’m sensing a theme here,” you laughed, running your fingers through his hair.
“You’re delicious,” he murmured next to your ear before biting it gently. 
“Oh, you haven’t eaten!” you exclaimed, suddenly remembering that you’d asked him to bite you earlier. 
Astarion nuzzled your neck with his nose before pulling back. “Relax, darling. I haven’t forgotten. But you have, it would seem.”
“What do you mean?”
Satisfied with how clean the both of you were now, Astarion threw the cloth back towards the washbasin. “I mean,” he brought his face close to yours, “don’t you remember when I said I wanted to taste you?”
I’d rather taste you while I’m inside of you.
Right.
“Still?” you asked.
He nodded. 
“But…” you furrowed your brow. “If this is about feeling like you owe me, cut it out. That’s not how it works anymore.”
Astarion whined. “Darling, this is the first night I’ve been in a proper bed in months. This isn’t about payment, this is about allowing my to finally fuck you properly.”
You were taken aback by that. “So… what were all those other times?”
Astarion quirked his mouth to the side. “Well, those were still me fucking you but… in the woods.”
You snorted. “You’re an idiot.”
He crashed his lips into yours desperately. “Please,” he moaned. “I need to feel you again.”
“Are you,” you smirked, “begging?”
“Darling, if I was begging, you’d know.”
“And if I say no?”
“I won’t beg,” he said, looking down his nose at you. “But don’t say no.”
You rolled your eyes fondly. “Okay, tough guy. If you’re still up for it, then so am I.”
“Excellent,” Astarion placed his hands on your cheeks and kissed you fiercely before flipping you onto your back. He hovered above you, still kissing you deeply, and you felt his hands reach for the waistband of your pants. He hummed into your mouth by way of asking permission, and you hummed back an affirmation. He pulled away and undid the ties on the front before pulling both your pants and underwear down at the same time. 
“You are fast,” you remarked. 
“Practice, darling,” he said before crawling on top of you and kissing you again.
“Are you even,” you said between kisses, “ready for another round?” You looked down and saw that he was already getting hard again.
“I’ve missed you,” he shrugged and kissed your throat. “It’s impossible for me to not want you right now.”
“Oh,” you said, genuinely flattered. “I’ve missed you too, my love.”
He moaned against your throat and rolled his hips against yours. “Say that again.”
“‘I’ve missed you?’”
He clicked his tongue. “Well, obviously,” he rolled his eyes. “No, the other thing.”
“‘My love?’” The phrase was met with another roll of Astarion’s hips. 
“Yes,” he whispered. “I’m yours,” he reached for your hand, which still had the ring on, and twisted it. “And you’re mine.”
“Yes, my love,” you sighed, wrapping your leg around his hip to pull him closer, “I’m yours.”
“My beautiful girl,” he bumped his nose against yours affectionately. 
You gasped in surprise when you felt him slide his fingers through your folds.
“You did miss me,” he teased. “Shall I help you feel good, darling?”
“Please,” you breathed, wrapping your arms around his neck. 
He continued to slide his fingers between your legs, spreading your slick and preparing you to take him. “No funny business tonight,” he said. “No new positions or experimental moves. I just want to feel you around me.”
“I can agree to those- ah- terms.” You stuttered when his thumb began circling your clit. “Whatever you want.”
He looked at you with an overwhelming fondness before kissing you sweetly. “Thank you, darling.”
It was then that he stuck a finger into your core slowly and you gasped, tightening your arms around his shoulders and squeezing your eyes shut. 
“Shh, shh, shh,” he cooed, “I’m preparing you to take me, my sweet. You’re going to do so well.” He began to pump the finger in and out of you slowly, curling it just so. When your body relaxed, he picked up the pace. “There now,” he said, “you’re doing so well already.”
You nodded and watched his hand move between your legs. “You can go faster.” 
Astarion smiled and picked up the pace on his pumping and circling your clit. You tensed in pleasure. 
“I’m going to add another,” he said, looking you in the eye. “Ready?”
“Yes,” you nodded and tightened your grip on him once again when he inserted the second finger slowly.
“Okay?” he asked, making sure you were alright. 
“Careful,” you said, causing him to halt his motions, “you’re being awfully nice to me.”
“Don’t ruin this,” he said flatly, and pumped his fingers into your core harshly.
“Ah!” you exclaimed with a laugh. “Sorry, sorry!”
He leaned forward and kissed your mouth again. “You’re forgiven.” When he pulled back, he scowled. “For now.” 
You laughed. “How generous.”
His fingers suddenly brushed against the spongy spot inside of you and you keened.
“There,” you moaned. “That felt amazing.”
“Good,” Astarion smirked and focused his attention on hitting that spot over and over with some force, all the while circling your clit.
That familiar tightening in your stomach started to make itself known, and you moved one of your hands to grip Astarion’s curls. “I’m close,” you said.
“Very good,” he purred and increased the pace of his hand once more. His other hand came up to tangle into your hair and he started kissing you deeply.
Your hips rolled against his hand, chasing even more friction. “Astarion,” you whined.
“Come for me, darling,” he murmured next to your ear. “You can do it. You made me feel so divine earlier, I know you can come for me too.” 
“Keep talking,” you said, squeezing your eyes shut and willing your climax to overtake you.
He chuckled lowly. “It’s been so hard keeping my hands off you while you were healing this last tenday, sweet girl. All I wanted to do was rip your clothes off, and get my mouth on you, and touch you everywhere.” You whined and bucked your hips. “I adore you, precious thing. I promise I’ll protect you from now on. So that I’ll never have to hold back again.”
The words, combined with the brutal pace of his fingers and thumb hurdled you over the edge and into your climax, which had you calling out for Astarion and gripping onto his back.
“I’m here,” he cooed. “You’re so beautiful when you let go.”
As you came back down and caught your breath, you smiled at him. “I missed that.”
Astarion scoffed lightheartedly. “And here I thought you liked me for more than how fantastic I am at sex.”
“I lied,” you teased.
“Oof,” Astarion held a hand to his heart. “If my heart were beating, surely it would break.”
You sat up and kissed him swiftly. “I adore you too, dummy.”
“I know,” he said pompously and you reached behind you and whacked him in the side of the head with a pillow. “Ow!” he exclaimed, and you laughed at the way his hair became disheveled. “Come here, you,” he growled, pinning you back on the bed and kissing you deeply once more. He ground his hips against yours, allowing you to feel how hard he had become. 
He pulled back and looked into your eyes with unrestrained desire. You looked down and saw him aligning himself at your entrance. 
“Ready?” he asked sincerely. 
“Please,” you rested your forehead against his. 
He pressed into you slowly, making you inhale sharply before you relaxed into the sensation. Astarion, meanwhile, appeared to be struggling. He’d paused, and his eyes were shut tight.
“Are you alright?” you asked, caressing his hair and brushing against the back of his ear.
“Huh?” He opened his eyes with a start, then smiled down at you seductively. “Oh, yes darling, why wouldn’t I be?”
You pursed your lips. “We can stop if something is wrong.”
“No!” Astarion’s eyes widened. “No, that’s not necessary. I’m just… overwhelmed, I think.”
“By…?”
He rolled his hips slowly and closed his eyes again. “You feel so good. It’s been too long. And I’m still not used to… this.” He opened his eyes and used his chin to gesture towards you. 
“What, my excellent breasts?” you deflected, feeling scrutinized under his gaze.
“While, yes, they are excellent,” he reached forward and squeezed your left breast for good measure, “you know that’s not what I meant.” 
“Yeah, I know,” you said quietly. “But what exactly… did you mean?”
He sighed. “I’m still figuring that out. It’s never felt this way before and I… forgot.” He rolled his hips again and your eyes fluttered closed.
“F-forgot?” 
“How good this can feel. How good you feel.” He reached for your hands and tangled your fingers together with his on either side of your head. “We’re going to go extra slow tonight. I want to savor this.” He kissed you, his tongue sliding into your mouth before he started thrusting his hips at a leisurely pace.
You moaned into his mouth. “Take your time.”
“I plan to,” he said, caressing one of your thumbs with his own. 
The two of you remained like that for a few quiet moments, the only sounds being your hitched breaths and skin slapping against skin. 
“Mmm,” you hummed, a pleased smile on your face. “This is nice.”
“This is nice,” Astarion agreed, biting your ear gently.
You sighed dreamily. “What would you usually talk to your… um… previous partners about? During sex?”
He pulled away from your ear and furrowed his brow. “Must we talk about others at a time like this?” He wet his thumb in his mouth sensually, and brought it down to your clit. 
You gasped and arched your back. “Of- of course not. I just like hearing your thoughts.”
Astarion smirked and leaned forward again to kiss your jaw. “Couldn’t you use the tadpole for that?”
You wrapped a leg around his waist. “I- ah- I guess. But it feels wrong to do that without your permission.” 
He growled against your throat and thrust into you harshly. “You always know just what to say.”
You laughed. “Liar.”
He thrust into you again. “Normally I was just trying to make the other person reach the finish line, so to speak. I’d say or do whatever was necessary to get them there.” 
“And you?”
“Oh, perish the thought. My needs were never at the forefront.” 
“My love…” you whined.
“People are much more willing to follow you around after you’ve brought them to the peak of pleasure.” He laughed a little. “Kind of like how you won’t stop following me around.”
You scoffed with a smile. “Do not compare me to someone you had to sleep with. And you’re the one who begged to be inside of me earlier. Not to mention when I had you in my mouth.”
Astarion thrust into you again forcibly. “I did not beg.” He thrust once more, changing the direction of his circles on your clit with his thumb. “Although I’m fairly certain I could get you to beg.” He flashed his fangs at you.
“Oh, please,” you said on an eyeroll.
“And there we have it,” he smirked. “I win.” 
“That was not me begging.”
“I heard a ‘please,’ didn’t I?”
“I loathe you,” you said, throwing your arms around his shoulders and pulling him down for a kiss. 
“I’m a magnificent bastard, aren’t I?” he took your other thigh and hiked it around his waist, making you lock your feet together. “Oh,” he moaned loudly, “I never want to leave this room.”
“We-”
He pressed a finger to your lips. “Do not list our many incomplete tasks right now, I beg of you, my darling.”
“You what?”
“I beg- oh shut up.” He withdrew himself from your cunt and slammed himself back in, coaxing a gleeful moan out of your throat. “Can’t you say anything sexy?”
“Hmm…” you thought aloud, closing your eyes when he began kissing your jaw again. “Sometimes, when I see how beautiful you are, I’m just dumbfounded.”
He chuckled. “Me too.”
“But I love talking to you, more than anything.”
“This isn’t really the kind of ‘sexy’ I had in mind, but do go on.”
“Even now, as you’re finally fucking me on a bed, I’m just as thrilled to hear your voice.”
Astarion gave you a questioning look. “High praise from a bard.” 
You kissed his bare shoulder. “You’re not trying to impress me, you're just… here with me. As Astarion.”
That made him pause for a moment. “Oh, believe me, dear, Astarion is trying very hard to impress you right now.” He rolled his hips at a slightly different angle, hiking you up closer to him. 
“Well- ah- it’s working. Great job.” You leaned up to kiss him and he chased your lips as you laid back in the pillows. He continued kissing all over your face and down your neck. He paused when his nose bumped the base of your throat.
“Darling?” 
An unspoken question.
“Hungry?”
He nodded against your skin, searching for a good spot to strike.
“Take what you need,” you whispered. “It’s yours.”
“Thank you.” You heard him inhale before the piercing coldness of his bite entered your veins. Your entire body tensed before you were overcome with the familiar pleasant numbness. 
“Oh, Astarion,” you groaned, raking your fingers through his hair. 
You could feel how slowly he was drinking from you, almost in time with how slowly he was still thrusting into you. He kept letting out tiny whimpers of delight, excited to finally taste you again. 
“You’re heavenly,” he said, pulling back momentarily as if to catch his breath. “I almost forgot how much I love your flavor. So sophisticated and sweet.” He dove in again, first licking the wound before biting down and continuing to drink. 
“Take as much as you like,” you sighed, bucking your hips when his thrusts started to pick up some speed. “Just don’t kill me.”
He chuckled against your throat but didn’t let up. He resumed letting out little noises of pleasure, and brought one of his hands up to paw at your breast. The other was cradling the back of your head affectionately. 
You could feel his cock growing steadily more rigid within you, the more Astarion drank. His speed was also steadily increasing, with thrusts becoming much more frequent than the slow passionate movements they’d been at the start of the encounter. 
“Astarion,” you whined, feeling yourself become more lightheaded than his usual feedings. 
“Mmf,” he said articulately before pulling back from your throat and licking the wounds to soothe the mild pain and clean excess drops of blood. When you could see his face once more, the tips of his ears were dusted a light shade of pink, and you swore there was more color in his face. His radiant smile was back, and he looked at you as if you were the sun itself. 
“As good as you remember?” you asked, laughing lightly at his expression.
“Better,” he said, surging forward to kiss you. You welcomed the coppery tang of your blood on his tongue happily. “Now, if you don’t mind, a reward.”
“Hey-” you warned.
“I want to,” he insisted. “Besides, it’s not just for you.” He laughed. “Can you imagine? How selfish are you?”
You rolled your eyes. “Let’s see it then.”
He smirked and moved over to your ear, murmuring, “I’m going to make you come again, sweetheart.” He pulled away, looking proud of himself. “That name works in a few ways actually. Because your blood is sweet, and it comes from your heart. And because it’s quite an endearing nickname.”
You nodded. “We’ll work on your tight five and get you a slot in the Laff Riot at the Elfsong once we’re back in Baldur’s Gate.”
“Oh, hush you,” he said, quieting you with a kiss. “I feel great,” he smiled down at you, returning his hand to your clit as he continued thrusting into your core. “Don’t ever almost die again.”
“I-” you gasped at a particularly pleasant thrust, “I’ll try.”
“Good girl,” he purred, bringing his forehead to yours. “Tell me, darling, how can I help you?”
“My boobs are feeling pretty neglected, if I’m being honest.” You gave him a sideways smile. 
Astarion rolled his eyes. “‘Boobs,’” he mocked. “I suppose I can do that.” He smirked before lowering down to your left breast and teasing your nipple lightly with his teeth. His left hand came up to massage your right breast as his right hand continued to circle your clit. He sucked at the bud of your nipple rather harshly, causing it to pebble in his mouth and his tongue swirled around it greedily. 
You arched your back in pleasure and tried pulling him closer with your legs still locked around his middle. He hummed against your skin and turned his attention to your right breast with his mouth. 
“You’re so good,” you said wistfully, your eyes closed. “I love this.”
“Ah luff thish too,” he said, licking around your right nipple and making you laugh. 
“Keep going,” you said, tapping your foot against Astarion’s bare ass, encouraging him to thrust faster. 
He let out an amused breath through his nose before picking up the pace as requested. His thumb on your clit sped up as well.
“Oh gods…” you moaned, digging your nails into his scalp. You could feel yourself getting close again, just a little more and you’d be tumbling over the edge into your climax. “Talk to me,” you said desperately.
Astarion lifted his face from your nipple. “About what?” 
“Anything,” you looked at him pleadingly. “Say something sappy.” When he gave you a stupidly seductive look, you amended “And mean it!”
His face immediately fell, but his pace didn’t falter. “I need to think about this for a second.” 
You laughed. “You don’t have to, just keep going. I’m close.”
“Is this like when I made you come by telling a joke?”
“I didn’t-” you rolled your eyes. “Yes, it’s exactly like that.”
Astarion nodded dutifully and thought for a moment. “I could say something about how in these accursed shadow lands, you are my light?”
You were squeezing your eyes tight, trying to reach your peak. “That could work. Ah!” Astarion bit your nipple again lightly. 
“Hmm… no, feels too sappy. Oh.” It looked like something dawned on him. He bent forward again to kiss your neck and whined when you pulled lightly at his hair. “Earlier,” he said, sounding out of breath, “when Jaheira likened you to my mate,” he almost spat the word, “I didn’t… entirely hate it.”
You opened your eyes and looked at him. “What?” 
He nodded against you. “I like… having you around. And if some old druid likens that to procreating bears or whatever, then so be it.”
You smiled. “That might be one of the sweetest things you’ve ever said to me.”
“So come, gods damn you! I want to come too!”
You laughed. “Kiss me, dummy.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled his face to yours. He moaned into your mouth when your tongue slipped past his lips. “Yours,” you murmured. 
Astarion growled, kissing you deeper. “Mine.”
With a few more circles of your clit and another brutal thrust from his hips, you fell into your climax, feeling him coming not far behind. Your cunt pulsed and fluttered around him, sending bursts of pleasure throughout your body. He moaned your name before collapsing on top of you, thoroughly spent. 
He smiled at you lazily. “Well darling?”
You blinked at him. 
“Performance review? From a humble bard such as yourself.”
You laughed. “The critics at the Baldur’s Gate Gazette will sing your praises for years to come.”
“Outstanding.” He kissed your chest before carefully pulling out of you and getting off the bed. 
You watched him walk to the washbasin and wet a fresh cloth before coming back and wiping down the space between your legs. 
“Here,” he said, handing you his discarded shirt from earlier.
“Are you sure?” you asked, taking the shirt and watching him wipe himself down with the cloth. 
“It smells like you when you sleep in it,” he said earnestly. “But would it kill you to move less in your sleep? You might ruin the neckline.”
“I’m going to purposely stretch it out now,” you joked. 
“Menace,” he said, sounding scandalized, before tossing the cloth towards the washbasin and pulling on a pair of loose cotton pants from his backpack. 
“Those are new,” you remarked.
He crawled onto the bed and tucked himself into your side. “Now that I’m sleeping on a bed, the protection from the leather against dirt is no longer necessary.”
“How practical,” you said, turning to face him as he pulled the blanket over the both of you. “And where did you find them?”
“I may have stumbled upon them in Gale’s belongings.”
You snorted. “You’re the menace.”
“And you like me so much,” he teased, scrunching his nose at you.
“I do,” you smiled and poked his nose before yawning.
Astarion chuckled. “Did I tire you out, darling?”
“Don’t give yourself too much credit,” you said, “we killed a pretty big spider earlier.”
He snorted. “I believe they’re called driders.”
“Tomayto tomahto,” you closed your eyes and scooted forward to snuggle into his chest.
Astarion hummed a vague agreement and wrapped his arms around you. “Goodnight, my sweet.” 
“Sleep well, my love. I hope you had fun tonight.” You didn’t open your eyes and instead bent forward to kiss his bare chest.
He exhaled through his nose. “That I did. Thank you.”
You smiled against his skin before your features relaxed and you drifted off to sleep. 
~~~~~
Above your sleeping form, Astarion stared at the wall, unblinking. 
A million thoughts were running through his mind, all of them revolving around you. 
He’d forgotten how good sex could be. He’d convinced himself that he was okay without it while you were recovering, and for the most part, he was. He was happy, even! Staying by your side all day and simply enjoying your company and silly commentary had been more than enough.
But in that time, he’d forgotten.
He’d forgotten how his feelings for you might interfere and make things… better. 
Could it always be like this?
He looked down at you, breathing steadily in his arms, and took your hand in his. He observed the ring on your pinky and twisted it a few times. He took it off of you and slipped it back on a few more times. He brought your hand to his mouth and kissed it repeatedly.
He was in big trouble. 
You’d said and done things tonight that made him feel… loved. And he’d basked in it like the sun was still high in the sky.
He’d been mulling over his feelings recently, but not really. Why should he when things were good the way they were?
The problem was that he no longer wanted things to just be good the way they were.
He wanted more. 
And he wanted you to feel as loved as he did.
Wait.
Oh no.
He was in love with you.
Fuck!
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mossygirl333 · 2 days ago
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Could I request for Boba Tea - body worship with Astarion with female human reader please?
AN: Coming right up! Hot and fresh <3
Bakery Order: Boba Tea - body worship
Astarion x human!wizard!reader
Tw/Cw: smut, porn w/plot, Astarions Lowkey a munch, some blunt dirty talk, mentions of weight and gaining weight, intimate, established marriage
SMUT UNDER THE CUT!!!
The room was dimly lit, candles flickering silently in the corners. Settled in front, a giant ornate hearth, the fire crackling and causing you to squint your dry eyes. Deepened shadows, tall and looming lined the walls.
The Inn was nice, clean, expensive but you had been travelling for months. Astarion told you that you needed more rest. Everyone did.
"Darling, you keep pushing yourself. Those silly little spells wont do anything when you have bags under your eyes the size and color of dead coals. Now rest in this nice place and let me pay for Utamo's sake!"
A snort of laughter left your lips as you remembered his words, settling into the bear skin rug, fur thick and soft under your hands. Halsin was...quite surprised when his room had one as well. And quite uncomfortable.
"Whats so funny my dear?" The door quietly shuts beside him, settling down a goblet of wine. His blood red eyes settling onto your form. Lithe but strong, graceful and regal he was. But those hands could snap a neck and tear a tendon quite easily.
Those fangs under those sly smirking lips could do a lot more too.
A shudder ran down your body, barely suppressed as you finally met his eyes. Curling up in your quilt a bit tighter. "Just thinking is all. About Halsin and his shock."
"Ah yes, that nature obsessed hunk." He jokingly gags, sliding in beside you. Opening up your arms, Astarions joins you under the covers. Ring gleaming in firelight. "I'd rather you just focus on me instead. The pretty one, maybe?"
"I thought the pretty one was me?" You ask, staring down at him as his cheek pressed against the curve of your breast. Nose nudging against the cleavage.
"I think we're tied." He snickers, pressing a tender kiss to your jaw. Pausing for a moment before pressing another one. "You smell good my dear."
"Me or my blood?" You raise a brow, tracing his neck with your nails, before burying them in his white locs. Thick and curled, gentle against your palm with the smell of his bar soap.
"Aren't you made up of both? But as much as I love your blood...I'm not exactly looking for that tonight." He trails his eyes down, palm gently resting on your thigh.
"I've gained weight." You curtly state. Sighing as you watch his hand sink into your thigh.
"Happy weight."
"Still weight."
"It looks good."
"I doubt you can even pick me up anymore."
He huffs, and grabs your chin. Making you look at him. Expression slightly soured and exasperated. "Shush! By Lathanders light, shush! Enough with this nonsense, I'm not going to listen to the woman I love insult herself like she's some cow. Because you aren't. You...You are beautiful. Understand me?"
You pause, sighing and locking eyes with him. Watching as the firelight flickers across his sharp features. Strong nose, round ruby eyes filled with slight hurt and thin lips pulled down into a pouty frown.
"It's just hard. Looking different than before. I'm afraid I won't be pretty to you if I change too much." You admit. The insecurity slightly bubbling up. It was true. Pants are slightly tighter now. You needed a size up in your bras and to be honest, looking at everyone else, you felt like the only one who's gained some.
"I don't care if it's 3 pounds or 300, you...you my dear are the most stunning, beautiful woman in this entire city. In the entirety of Faerun, I have never once witnessed a person who so similar reminded me of the sun. Hell, I hadn't even remembered what the sun looked like before you. Before this all. Why would I abandon the woman I'm marrying, the woman I want to have children with for something so daft as weight? Do you take me for an idiot?" He cups your jaw, forcing you to look up at him. Eyes full of sincerity and softness, hands cold but gentle.
This was what Astarion was to you. And what you were to him. The sun and the moon. A yin and yang situation that played on like prose poetry. Bright smiles and sharp tongues. Magic and madness. Lives played out like chess games by their masters but broken free. The white piece and the black piece. Now off the boards, no longer tied down by it. No longer held under cruel scheming hands.
They had each other.
And they wanted each other.
You hadn't really noticed he was kissing you until your back hit the bear skin rug. Snapping out of your daze, hands coming up to his face. Whispers between kisses sent between you, breathless and quiet, neither of you could hear each other.
But it didn't matter. You just needed to know he was there. And that was all you needed.
His knee nudges your thighs apart, his lips trailing down your neck. Pulse thumping under them. Soft and cold, undead but how his heart burned for yours.
Slightly hitching, you make room for his body. Thighs sliding up to rest on his broad shoulders, his hands pushing up your shirt. Desperate to get to the hot plump skin underneath, tongue darting out to taste it. Trailing down new stretchmarks he stops at your pants. Eyes coming up to meet yours again.
Quietly nodding, he situated you so he could toss aside your garments. Shorts and underwear dangerously close to the fireplace.
You laugh, reaching over and snagging them away. "Dummy."
"My bad, my love. Wouldn't wanna burn your knickers and start a panic, imagine that. Gale runs into a half-naked you and my face shoved in your cunt while the hotel burns down."
A shudder of arousal seeps down your core, now dewy and dripping, an opened flower full of nectar for your lover.
He sighs, lifting you up slightly, breath thick against your folds. Watching. Waiting. Before the tip of his nose nudges against your clit.
A whine leaves your lips, thighs squeezing against his temples as he groans. Mouth hot and heavy against your pussy, fingers denting into the plush fat.
"Feel so fucking beautiful wrapped around me, my love-" His tongue slips into you, licking up stripes. Collecting that tangy slick on his taste buds.
You squirm slightly but his hands keep you there. Nose buried in your clit, taking huffs of your smell. Desperate for more. "Please, darling, hold still, let me taste you."
You slowly grind yourself against his face. Riding the bridge of his nose. He chuckles, slipping his fingers in gently. Hips jerking, two digits curling and searching for that spot.
The pads of his fingers find it, spongy and warm. Pressing up into you, the coil in your belly growing tighter and tighter.
Mewls left your lips, drawn out and high pitched, Whining and writhing beneath him as he devoured you.
It wasn't so different than when he fed. Laid down and swallowed whole. Desperate and wanting to quell the fire in his bones. To feed the beast inside of him. But instead of bloodlust, a curse from his cruel master, it was the sexual desire and lust of a man. A craving only you could stop.
The coil snaps, slick flushing into his open mouth as he licks you clean. Shushing your pleasure filled cries, riding out the waves of heat and shock.
He pulls away, chin glistening as your thighs tremble. Let down slowly.
"Shh my dear....God you did so well. Look at you!" He giggles, pressing soaked lips to yours. Tangy and sweet, your slick heavy in his tongue. "Glowing I tell you. Orgasms suit you well."
You were pliant and soft, eyes heavy and content. Barely able to muster a breathy laugh before melting into his embrace. His body laid beside you.
"I love you." A whisper finally leaving you, enough breath entering your lungs to speak.
"I love you more, my dear."
AN: OMG OMG OMG I THINK THIS IS THE BEST THING I"VE EVER ACTUALLY WRITTEN????
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sopaprimordialy · 21 hours ago
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Boppers, hear me out.
Victor is Luther's father.
Ok, now, you might be thinking: "what the actual fuck are you talking about?" Well, in this essay I'll expose favorable arguments to my theory/theses/head canon that, in the album, the police officer Victor is Luther's father. Keep your radio tuned tight, boppers, bcs I might be crazy OR I might be onto something.
(There will be spoilers)
1. First of all...
For context, Victor is the cop that kills Fox. He's played by David Patrick Kelly, the actor who plays Luther in the original movie, The Warriors (1979). This alone is a huge reason for me to believe that they are somehow connected, BUT THERE'S MORE!
I think we already established that what a character claims to be their reason for doing something is not always their real reasoning, or, at least, not the entirety of it. I do believe Luther kills Cyrus because he enjoys the chaos and has a lot of hate in his heart, as Swan wisely says, but I don't think that's all.
We have hints among his lines that he's also misogynistic and racist. "Well, duh?" You might say, because there were few white men who weren't those things by the time this story takes place, but sometimes we may underestimate how heavy this stuff weighs in the narrative. If he really likes chaos that much, why not kill, Idk, a police captain? That would certainly create generalized chaos just as he likes, but instead, he deliberately targets marginalized groups' leadership — he kills a black woman, a powerful black woman who was trying to unite her community.
She was obviously an obstacle for the cops to keep up with their oppression towards these groups because unity is strength, and all they don't want is strong communities that knows their rights and won't accept to be chased down like animals when they've done nothing but trying to survive.
In the very first track of the album, the question "but is Cyrus atractin' police action?" Is asked. The answer we find further on, especially when the police invades Van Cortlandt Park right after she's killed, is: *yes*, of course she is.
* Also, the timing here is too convenient, don't you think? Just like the police knew exactly when to attack, when the desperate crowd would be disorganized, when they would be easy prey... anyways 😛
2. That weird af phone call
Now that we have established that there would be a lot of interest on the police's part to have Cyrus killed, let's move on to the next topic.
Suddenly, without any further context or this being ever mentioned again, Luther talks to *someone* on the telephone. This happens in the album, and in the movie as well, it is not confirmed who the hell Luther was talking to on that phone call. I've already seen some people theorizing that he has contacts inside the force and that he's talking to them, and I agree, but I think he's not talking with some random cop, I believe he's talking to Victor.
Come think with me: how did Luther instantly knew Ajax had been taken by the cops ("Holy shit, Warrior down [...] Picked the wrong fight / now she's in for a long night", I'll talk about this later btw), and most importantly, what exactly was Victor doing at Union Square's station?
Let's compare this approach with Barnes' one at the park.
Barnes was alone in the bench, and only when Ajax approached him (and started beating the shit out of him), he called for police reinforcements. It didn't feel planned, even tho he was trying to bait them to come closer to him, I think it was much more about sexual harassment than him actually intending to arrest them. With Victor, however, it doesn't feel like a random encounter.
"Officers are on the scene". This line repeats a lot during Reunion Square, that alone indicates that there are a group of cops there, like they've been called. They knew the Warriors, specifically the Warriors, would be there, and why was it so important for them to get the Warriors if they're just a "likkle Coney Island crew"? Because Luther would be FUCKED if the Riffs reached them alive.
Of course, the Riffs could just not believe the girls, but he was not willing to risk it — after the phone call, Luther tells Cropsy the Riffs wanted the Warriors alive, but they don't. And he was right, wasn't him? Cleon being alive and telling the Riffs the truth was the only reason for him to be caught and... well, we don't know for sure what they did to him, but we can imagine they weren't gentle.
That being said, we have strong evidence that Luther was in touch with the cops, else he would have no way of knowing Ajax was grounded. And Victor needed a reason to be there as well; not only an informant, but also a motive, and if we consider the theory that he was talking to Luther, we have both things.
3. Trust in the impunity of a daddy's boy
During the entire musical, Luther thinks he can get away with about everything. I atribute that not only to the fact that he's a white man targeting women of color, but he must also have other reasons to believe he's immune to justice of any kind, and there's where I start to try to convince you that he's Victor's son.
I mean, when Cropsy shows that he's worried the Riffs would go after them, Luther, rather ignorantly, responds with "they're looking for the Warriors, remember?" As if the fact that the Riffs are going after the Warriors is enough for him to believe they would never even think about interrogating them, trying to find the murder weapon, etc.
This behavior suits someone that has never been held accountable for any misdeeds at all, and who would fit this description better than a cop's son?
Let alone that Victor is a captain. He holds even MORE power within the police. Being the son of a cop, even if you're a fucking gang member, you'd feel safe enough to do just whatever the fuck you want without even thinking about the consequences.
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Like, how many times he could have been caught doing something illegal, just tell the cops "do you know who my father is?" AND IT ACTUALLY WORKING? I firmly believe he was the one to inform the cops about all of this — the gathering, the Warriors' location, and the fact that he needed daddy to arrest the women who could potentially cause something to happen to him, because the Riffs are not the police, they'd not give af abt who his father is, even someone like him would have to be a little worried about being taken by them.
4. Fox & Luther — Parallels
I bet you did not see that one coming. "What do you mean there's something in common between Fox and Luther specifically that makes Victor killing her an interesting parallel with his (supposed) son?"
Well, games. That's kinda it. Old games.
So, there are only two characters that canonically like games in the musical, because they actually mention them: Fox ("A-yo I'll take you on an Odyssey like Magnavox") and Luther (with his multiple references to Pacman during the entire thing and other game expressions, like "I was at the top of the screen when I took that shot")
The Magnavox Odyssey is actually mentioned on the movie (according to my own father. I confess I don't remember this part, but I trust my nerdy father who actually have a connection with old consoles to notice that) by the Lizzies (fem version of the Bizzies), and Fox was not even there at the moment. Actually, movie Fox does not have a lot of... personality, if you ask me, he was kinda irrelevant. Anyways, even if Lin and Eisa wanted to reference this specific part in which the Lizzies offer to play Odyssey with the Warriors to lure them, why not have the Bizzies saying that? Why Fox?
Because that would be a bitter irony in the future. I might be crazy, BUT HEAR ME OUT, Victor killing a young woman that shared his son's interest for games was a foreshadowing for him being responsible for Luther's death as well — because he failed.
This is other thing they share: they failed. Victor failed to stop the Warriors from going home, Luther failed to kill Cyrus and blame the Warriors with no consequences, they failed together at silencing them, and this CAUSED Luther's (probable) death.
5. A gang member who endorses the police?
Ok, this last section is based in my belief that, even tho the crews fight and have their diferences, they all share a common enemy: the cops. That was the reason for them to accept the truce after all, the cops are their common enemy.
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But somehow that doesn't feel true for the Rouges.
First of all, they killed Cyrus, which obviously means they were not in favor of the truce. But why? They sure would suffer from police brutality too if they were a normal gang. And we can all agree that they are even more violent than the average gang (I mean... have you listened to their leader?).
Also, this line intrigues me.
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I mean, "picked the wrong fight"? It is clear that Luther's view is biased to take the cops' side. In this case, one could argue that his misogyny would play a big part on him diminishing Ajax's will to fight against an abuser. Anyhow, I think that this evidences that, even tho he's a gang member, he has a strong connection with the police.
CONCLUSION
I think we can all agree that Luther has something going on with the police, and I hope I have convinced you that he has something going on with Victor specifically.
It is possible to argue that their connection is only "tactical", or even go as far as to say that they are friends or something (tho, I don't think that's possible. One thing about brats like the Rouges: they don't go well with old people, with all due respect. I don't personally see this working as a friendship), but I'll stand with the father-son relationship till the day I die!!
Thank you for reading this madness and please lmk what you think! If there's something that doesn't make sense, if you have your own theories... I mean, I'm far more invested in this than I ever thought I would be, please give me more content 🙏🙌
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litnerdwrites · 2 days ago
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It's not so much that they wanted to help, as it is how they went about it. The only ones with, arguably, selfless intentions, that genuinely had Nesta's best interests at heart, were her sisters. Even then, the IC's, namely Rhysand's, personal issues with her tainted it just a bit.
There's also the issue of us having little to no clue what Nesta and the IC were doing for the past, like, year? This has more to do with the writing, I think, as it goes against one of the biggest rules in writing, 'show don't tell'.
Putting aside the atrocity that was their intervention, the whole idea of putting her in the HOW, sequestered away from society, with no way to come or go of her own volition, is a very extreme measure. But her condition doesn't imply that such a measure is necessary. Are her coping mechanisms unhealthy at best? Yes. But she hasn't sown any signs of being addicted, or even overly dependant. If she was, there'd be withdrawal symptoms, and going cold turkey, especially with substances like alcohol, is very dangerous. She would've been in no condition to train or work, had that been the case. She also would've needed to be under the care of a healer, or medical professional of some kind. But she wasn't. Again, this could have more to do with the writing, but looking at plot only, it was severely mishandled.
Leaving her to handle it alone, and spiral, for like a year or so feels like an extreme measure to take. However, locking her in the HOW is an even more extreme measure, so I wonder where and when they used... Normal methods?
And even if it was bad enough that she was unfit to be in society, she should've been handled by a medical professional. Or at the very least the councillor that they mentioned having, but Nesta never saw for some reason. Instead, we have one guy who only ever validates the worst things she's ever felt about herself, and the other who finds amusement when asking if the first guy pushed her down the stairs.
By the end of the book, her whole character arch leads to her realising that she needs to earn the love of her sister, mate and father, all of which is incredibly concerning.
The entire thing was poorly thought out at best, and incredibly abusive at worst.
@casualbuttercupblog Nobody (or at least nobody that I've seen) is arguing that they should've let her be for another year, but outcome of that would've been just as bad as the outcome of ACOSF was. In different ways, perhaps, but still just as bad.
I think this covers a few of the broader strokes of my issues with it, but I'm happy to have a bit more of a conversation about it, if you want.
Will never understand the people who clain the Inner Circle should have just let Nesta keep spiraling instead of helping her. Because "it's mean to put her on house arrest." But you know. The first 14 months of leaving her to spiral worked. I'm sure another 14 would've been GREAT for her.
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amee-racle-ofmyown · 11 months ago
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the heist!mark brainrot is consuming me…, just imagine mark n the viewer meeting for the first time as little kids to shoplift candy or smth together ╥﹏╥
the (brain)rot consumes!! I can relate
my dear anon... LISTEN. I am a big advocate for childhood friends captaineer, it's one of my favourite headcanons, but a childhood friends AU for the heist partners? that's something I hadn't considered until now. and it's adorable. I had to write something for it asap because I was INSPIRED. I hope you enjoy💖 thanks for sparking the idea!
Heist!Mark x reader (not explicitly romantic at all it's more about the friendship in this one) | Words: 1,317
You are in the kitchen of your shared home base, unloading the groceries your heist partner has just bought, when you pick up a bag of sour candies, smiling quietly to yourself. He's always been a fan of them.
Turning the packet in your hands, an old memory drifts to the surface of your mind:
You don't remember exactly how long ago it was, but you couldn't have been much older than maybe ten.
Your father was busy working, and had reluctantly sent you to the store with a small list after you insisted you could handle it on your own.
You slipped the folded piece of paper out of your school bag and scanned the list of items. At the bottom was a note that read, ‘Remember to stay hydrated, kiddo! :)’
You walked around the supermarket collecting the few things on your list and placed them in your trolley. On your way to the checkout, you passed through the candy aisle and slowed to eye the products on display.
‘Aren't you going to get anything?’
Your head perked up, shocked at the sudden voice addressing you.
There was a boy next to you with dark hair, looking at you inquisitively. He seemed to be about your age. He might have even been slightly shorter than you.
You must have been standing here for longer than you realised if it had prompted him to ask you about it.
You shook your head.
‘Why not?’
‘Oh, um. My dad only gave me enough money for what we need,’ you said timidly, showing him the list.
‘Ohh, that's too bad.’ Then, a small yet undeniably mischievous smile appeared on his face. He glanced discreetly up and down the aisle. ‘You know you can just — ’ and he took one of the small packets of candy off the shelf and slipped it swiftly into his pocket.
Your eyes went wide, stunned. Both from the fact that he was suggesting you steal, and at the speed and subtly with which he'd enacted the crime, as if he'd done it dozens of times before, if not more.
‘What are you doing?’ you spoke in a harsh whisper.
‘It's no big deal,’ he said in a lower voice than before, but one that still felt entirely too loud. He slipped another bag into his pocket.
You did not want to associate with this boy any longer.
You pushed your trolley away and towards the checkout, handing your items to the cashier.
You were unhappy to find the boy waiting for you when you exited the store, shopping bag in your hand.
‘What do you want?’ you asked, a little standoffishly, frowning at him.
‘There's no need to be rude,’ he said with a small pout. ‘Y'know, I think I might have seen you at school a few times.’
To your dismay, he followed along as you started walking home. When you pressed him, he simply said, ‘Hey, I'm not following you! I live down this way too, I promise!’
As the two of you walked, he chatted annoyingly by your side. What was more annoying was that you found you didn't mind his presence. You were a quiet kid and you didn't have many friends. Having someone to walk home with you was kind of a nice change of pace.
Just as you thought this, though, you immediately chided yourself mentally. You and him were not friends. You weren't going to be friends. This boy was a criminal and he wasn't even sorry about it.
You frowned in thought.
Oh no, what if he got caught? What if you went to juvenile jail for being an accomplice to theft? What would Dad say? What would Mom say? What if—’
‘Hey, are you listening to me? You haven't responded to anything I'm saying.’
You simply sighed as he pulled you out of your thoughts.
‘Are you still mad about the candy? I told you it's not a big deal.’
You stopped as you realised you were approaching your front door. The journey seemed to have gone a little faster than usual.
‘Really?’ you finally replied in an exasperated tone. ‘That was no big deal for you? That was stealing. Stealing is wrong.’ You couldn't believe you had to spell it out to him.
‘They won't notice a couple tiny bags of candy are gone. My mom says big companies that own supermarkets are greedy. They make loads of money anyway and don't pay enough taxes.’
‘Does your mom know you're a thief?’
‘W- well, no, but-’
‘That’s what I thought.’
He looked a little disheartened.
‘Please don't tell anyone. I'm sorry if I upset you,’ he said quietly, looking down.
You hadn't really expected an apology from someone like him. You sighed again.
‘I won't tell, but don't expect me to just go along with it. And don't act like we're best buds all of a sudden. We don't know each other. You don't even know my name!’
‘Well, what's your name?’
You gave him a slightly surprised look before telling him your name, albeit hesitantly.
‘Look, I have to get going now…’
You fumbled with the shopping bag as you reached into your coat pocket, feeling for the house key, when you suddenly felt something that wasn't there before. It made a crinkling sound beneath your touch.
‘You didn't.’ You pulled the candy out of your pocket. ‘When did you—?’
The boy grinned at you.
‘I thought you could have one of mine.’
‘I don't want your stolen candy!’
‘Judging by how you looked at it earlier, I think you do. And besides, stolen treats taste better!’ he called out, already walking away.
‘Wh- SHH!’ You hoped none of your neighbours had heard.
‘I'm Mark by the way! See ya, buddy!’
You stood outside the front door, dumbfounded.
Finally you let yourself in. Your dad wouldn't be home yet for a while.
You put the shopping away and sat down at your kitchen table, staring at the stolen goods in front of you.
You could try to put it back but… that would be more suspicious.
You figured, the deed had been done. There was nothing you could do now, so you may as well make the most of it.
You tore the edge of the packet and popped one of the candies in your mouth, savouring the sweet and sour combination on your tongue.
Maybe Mark was right. It did taste extra good. But maybe it was just because you'd been craving it.
What a weird kid.
‘Stealing is wrong, huh…?’ you mumble under your breath. You look down at the candy in your hands. It's not the same brand as the one from back then, but you imagine it tastes more or less the same, from what you remember.
Present day Mark is the one to pull you out of your musings.
‘Hey, what's with that face you're making? I know that look, buddy. Are you contemplating your life choices??’
You chuckle softly.
‘Just… got reminded of something. I suppose I got lost in nostalgia for a moment.’
‘Oh yeah? Penny for your thoughts?’
You turn and smile at him.
‘This just made me think of an annoying little boy stealing candy from a supermarket. And his reluctant acquaintance who ended up getting dragged into his antics for the foreseeable future.’
It takes a second for it to click.
‘Ohhhhh.’ You watch as realisation turns to him smiling fondly at the memories, which turns to him snapping his attention to you with a fake-offended look.
You laugh at his expression.
‘Wait, hey! Annoying?!’
‘Mhm.’
‘Excuse you, I was a wonderful, sweet and positively charming child.’
Your laughter rings out in the kitchen, full of mirth, and he shakes his head at you with a familiar lopsided grin, and you are so grateful for the cheeky little boy who approached you that day.
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doyouknowthemossinman · 1 year ago
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decided i had to make a new cover photo for danny's playlist, might as well post it here too <3
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sanguisxferox · 20 hours ago
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"It's the truth though." At least, with the stranger, 'cause Leto feels like even if he was forced to lay bare in front of the vampire, he'd still feel safe. "Sorry cause that was a bit too much, but guess I've said worse." He admits, but his breath catches in his throat when Levi leans down and when he mentions Leto blushing—a soft red shade comes back to his cheek. The Underboss rubs the back of his neck with his free hand, chuckling. It sounds almost timid. His gaze lifts up again and catches Levi's—he smiles back gently. Has he ever seen someone more beautiful than this man, seriously?! Everything seems to be so organic between them—two birds dancing together without thoughts; just instinct. The next day, he'll question his own sanity, but tonight, the world has stopped for them both and he'll savor every fucking single second of their time together.
Leto feels Levi's gaze on him, but even though he'd done the same earlier, his mind cannot wrap itself around the idea that what Levi is saying could be about him. But he feels the squeeze to his hand as he talks about his father for a moment—a hand he doesn't want to let go of. He doesn't know it yet, but he'll always feel these butterflies in his stomach as they hold hands; even 15 years from now. He's too excited to let the vampire talk and when Levi asks for confirmation a out the seashell, he nods. "Yes. It's not much, but something to remember—" me. Leto doesn't expect the little shell to stay in the other's possession for long, but he likes to humor the idea that it will. Though, tonight would be a time he'd never forget; a moment engraved in his memories forever—the beginning of a great friendship and his first time beside the love of his life. "It's a good place to keep it." He chuckles, not taking the promise seriously.
"Yes, you. Who wouldn't want to know about you?" There's confusion in his own question. There's something so fascinating about the vampire—Leto is actually shocked he managed to get his attention and even more that Levi followed. "Anything you're willing to share, really." Because he'll take in everything the other man sas with a sponge. A frowns appears on his face as he listens; he wants to embrace Levi and apologize at the unfairness of not remembering his own family. Leto had very limited time with his parents, but he'd still take that over not remembering. "Do you miss her? Or like wish you could see her agaon." He asks concerned about Levi's life that sounded so lonely. I promise to say at your side as long as you'll allow it—he silently promises the unaware vampire. "Really?! It sounds fascinating! Which place have you loved the most?" Leto is genuinely fascinating—most of his travels have been work related.
When his hand is grabbed again, he realizes that it had been gone for a moment and it strangely saddens him for a sec. Levi is so gentle and it melts him—that is until he hears Levi call Suresh is grandfather. He knows it has to be an honest mistake, maybe the noise around them had made the vampire hear incorrectly, but it makes Leto bursts out in laughter. It's so pure and joyful; almost boyish. He laughs so much that tears corm at the corner of his eyes. "Godfather. Though, he is ancient!" He takes a deep breath, calming himself. "Thank you for that—I haven't laughed like this in forever!" Levi is really something. Another squeeze comes and this time, he hears the questions, but doesn't respond right away. Instead, he leans up to kiss the vampire again. "It's so easy talking with you. Thank you for being—you!" He murmurs as he breaks the kiss. "When I'm not helping my father manage his businesses, I spend as much time as I can at my animal sanctuary/shelter. Gotta admit that I love animals more than people. Probably cause I'm half werejaguar half shapeshifter. My favorite food? I love beignets and French crêpe with salty butter and maple syrup. And savory, cook me wagyu steak on the grill and I'm a happy man. And not really for that club. What about you? What do you love doing when you settle for a moment in one place?" Leto smiles at Levi, wanting to hear him talk more—he love his voice. "And hat about your favorite food, other than blood, cause that's cheating! And was it your firs time at that club?" He wants to know, cause he'd make a habit of going it that was a regular spot for the vampire. He gazes around for a moment and nods. "As much as I can. It's always peaceful for me. Especially when I'm feeling down and down want company or when I'm lonely." He gazes back up at Levi. "Do you come often in New Orleans?" I want to see you again.
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Levi usually had a hard time being captivated by something, let alone someone, but every so often it did occur. It was hardly ever another person, but Leto had him under a spell that Levi never wanted to come out of. It was strange because they had only just met, but that kiss made him feel something he never knew possible. And he wanted to feel it again, and again. The comment about being taken makes Levi lightheartedly laugh, "Cheeky." He liked it. "Why are you sorry? Perhaps I like you being a little cheeky," he leans in a little, "especially if it makes you blush." Blushing was one of those rare things that actually made Levi giddy, even more if he was the root cause behind those flushed cheeks. As the conversation carried on it shocked him how easily it was to joke with the other, as if they have been long time friends long before tonight. Honestly, it just made him want to be around Leto even longer.
He follows on cue with Leto when the other turns and begins to run. It’s been a while since he ran along side someone like this; carefree and at full speed. His gaze flickers between watching their course of movement over to Leto as they ran. If Levi thought the man couldn’t become even more enchanting, watching him become carefree proved that wrong. He wondered what had caused it, what the guy was thinking about, and where they were going. Normally if someone asked him to leave some place and go somewhere more private it was always because they were about to get physical. But, when he was brought to the lake, Levi was surprised that didn't seem to be the case tonight.
It’s really beautiful. And now it was Levi’s turn to look at the other, softly smiling to himself, “Yes, really beautiful.” As Leto speaks, Levi listens attentively to his every word. His gaze traves down to their hands, taking in how perfectly their hands fit in one another, before looking out at the lake. His brows furrow hearing the other mention the death of his father, not even thinking twice about it, his hand gives Leto's a gentle squeeze. But just as he was about to say something the other is pulling him towards the pier, and the vampire easily follows. Levi is curiously glancing up at the pier they were standing under before his attention is drawn back to Leto's words and the seashell in his hand. "For me?" Levi's voice is soft, as is the smile that appears on his face, and he reaches out to gently take the shell in his free hand. No one had ever given him anything before, especially nothing as beautiful as this. He made the choice right there and then that he would keep this seashell forever. He looks up to meet Leto's gaze, still smiling, carefully tucking it in his front shirt pocket, "It'll remain close to my heart in here." Levi didn't know it then, but that seashell would become one of the most important things to him. It would help him in his darkest of times and when he was in a sticky situation that seashell would remind of a reason to find a way out.
"About me?" He probably sounds more confused than anything, but he's just never had anyone like Leto before. Anyone who cared to know about him or tell him the things Leto had told him this evening. "I'm not even sure where to begin." He gives a little shrug, "I was born in France...somewhere. I was in the army, and I know that much. I wish I could tell you about my family before I was bitten, but I don't remember them. I don't even have a picture of them. The woman who bit me was named Reyna and I was intended to be a solider for her. Unfortunately for her, I'm too much of a wild spirit and she couldn't tame it. I haven't seen her for over a hundred something years." He looks back to Leto, smiling, "I enjoy traveling. I love visiting new places, learning their culture, being among new faces, and learning the stories those places have to offer." And it's always a bloodbath because I have no self-control, but he left that part in his head. He takes a step closer to Leto, reaching out to take his hand again, "I'm sorry to hear about your father, Leto. I really am. I can't even begin to imagine what you and your family went through with that. But I'm happy to hear your grandfather was able to give you that love again." He gives another gentle squeeze to Leto's hand, "And don't ever apologize for being excited, love. It's actually very cute. Plus, I'd love to know more about you. What's your favorite thing to do when you have down time? Your favorite type of food? Do you visit that club often?" He gestured around them, " Do you come here often?"
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ereborne · 8 months ago
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Song of the Day: March 26
"Songs About Rain" by Gary Allan
#song of the day#you might think that this is the opposite of 'Groovy Little Summer Song' but nope! closer to same because (drumroll)#they are one of the very best categories of thing: Country Songs About Country Songs#I love them. I adore them#'Songs About Rain' is one of the strongest and best examples of type I have (also 'Cheatin Songs' by Midland. impeccable)#'and it sure ain't easin my pain / all these songs like / Rainy Night in Georgia / Kentucky Rain#Here Comes That Rainy Day Feelin Again / Blues Eyes Cryin in the Early Mornin Rain#they go on and on and there's no two the same / oh it would be easy to blame / all these songs about rain'#what a gift. what a delight. legitimately hard to sing this song in a mournful voice because it makes me so damn happy#anyway as you might glean from how this is posting at 3 pm my time: my sleep schedule is /fucked/#I did have part of the bad conversation with my boss on Monday (immediately followed by garden times#which so overtook me that I spoke only about the garden and good spring feeling in my song post. what a blessing the garden is)#but mostly what happened is I said 'hey it is technically possible for me to make this but it will not help it will not do anything useful'#and my boss said 'but you can make it' and I said 'yes but we shouldn't. it will be a waste of time' and she said 'make it by Thursday'#and I said 'I absolutely cannot make it by Thursday. if I finish instead this better thing I've already been working on--'#and she said 'no we don't care about that thing. make part of the useless thing. by Thursday morning'#and I said 'if I bring you part of the useless thing and part of the good thing and I directly compare them in front of you--'#and she said 'we'll look at whatever you have Thursday morning but it's the useless thing we care about'#so the meeting is scheduled and I'm going to plead for the life of my better thing and probably the best I'll get is permission to do both#which is. I mean the useless thing is going to be a time-waster for sure but at least it won't be actively detrimental to anything?#it'll be fine I'll make it be fine. the inherent problems of when your boss doesn't actually know what you do for them I guess :/#(also maybe. maybe if it comes down to it. maybe I'll just make the good thing for myself and use it to make my own life better#and someday maybe they'll ask for a project that works and then I'll be able to dramatically unveil it but either way I'll benefit from it#hmm maybe yeah)
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arklay · 2 years ago
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MISSED SEEING YOU ON MY DASH LEAH I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL 💙💙
aaaaaa thank youu bones 🥺🥺💖💖 i have been experiencing the horrors but i'm starting to feel better and like i could probably have the energy to scroll again lmao i have so much stuff to catch up on though i'm like oh no...
#asks.#nuclearstorms#honestly was really nice to be off of here for a while cause it was just bringing so much like pressure and negativity into my space for#some reason?? and like stepping back after everything that happened last month was so so needed omg... but i missed seeing you!! and all my#lovely moots!! i think too december in general is the worst month ever in existence i am not a fan of her <3 but yes hehe i have a#specialist appointment tomorrow so i'll be so conked out when i get back but might try to do some picrews afterwards 🤔 bet you didn't miss#my ramblings though omg i have some stories. like okay. so i have almost all the achievements for stray right? but i was doing#speedrun and making great time for the achievement and then i broke the facking game in the second last chapter. like. are you joking me???#and i reloaded checkpoint. nope. restarted chapter. nope. i just broke clementine and i don't even know how but rip i guess i'll try that#again soon!! OH also i 100% re4 as well... idk if i mentioned that on here i can't remember what date that happened but i beat highest#difficulty. you can say i'm somewhat of a gamer myself. but am feeling a bit better and like i think too like cause i've been active on twt#but i think too it's tagging posts instead of just like clicking a button like i was so so tired that i just couldn't even be in the like#okay i need to organise things mode? idk if that makes sense but yes hiii hi hello!!! i have all like tracked tag things in queue rn just#in case like anyone was wondering!! i have seen them!!#and i hope you're doing well also!!! 💖💖💖
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do-you-have-a-flag · 10 days ago
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Text recounting of the full events below but oh my god please watch this person explain the wildest thing happening to them
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[image text]r/trueoffmychest post by CptnSpaceCase
Today my aide cooked what should not be cooked
I have to get this out, because today feels like an actual nightmare I keep expecting to wake up from.
I'm disabled, and need help with stuff around the house. Today was the second day with a new agency and new home health aide, "Tina." I set it up so she would come by in the morning while I'm sleeping (insomnia is killer), and I texted her last night what I would need done today.
One of those things was to roast some precut squash I'd gotten so I could have it with my salads and pasta. I was very clear in my instructions: what it looked like, where it was in the fridge, how to use the oven, how to cook it. I also have a roommate who was up and told her she could ask them for help if she couldn't find anything. Or come get me if truly necessary.
Now, I have three pet ball pythons. They eat rats that I thaw from frozen in the fridge in a reusable plastic bag. Yes, that's where I'm going with this.
Tina couldn't find the squash, and so, obviously, that meant she should roast the first other thing she could see that was technically also encased in plastic, in a completely different area of the fridge. The FUCKING RATS. In butter and salt, in my nice baking dish.
And like, that's insane all on its own, but if you're going to cook any animal, you should at least clean and skin it first, right??? Like, do the crazy, disgusting thing properly so I can respect the effort, instead of sticking them in as is. Fur and guts and all.
And the smell. Good God baby Jesus the SMELL. It woke me up and had me gagging the moment I opened my bedroom door. Definitely not squash. Or food-smelling for that matter. At first I thought the squash had spontaneously rotted overnight and she'd tried to cook it anyway. That would have been slightly less insane and much preferable.
I had to pull it out of her what she was cooking instead when she said she couldn't find it (it was in plain sight), had to open the oven and see my snakes' dinners in place of my own and still couldn't process what the fuck was happening, what I was looking at and smelling. I don't like yelling at people and generally avoid it. Today was a day for exceptions. And at the end of my half-crazed, dissociative rant, I told her to get the whole dish and its contents and herself out of the fucking house. And to not come back.
Suffice to say, I've contacted the agency to report it and am requesting a new aide. Now I'm sitting at a cafe trying to calm down and eat something despite the scent memory that's taken up permanent residence and turning my stomach. The whole house reeks like musty, sewage-dipped pork that had been left out for a whole day before being cooked in rancid oil, and I'm not sure Febreeze is gonna cut it. I don't want to go home. 🫠😭
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corvidiss · 1 month ago
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#smile at people #a majority of the time people will smile back and you win Human Points #learn how to compliment people and do it often #Normalcy is a perspective that changes depending on who is looking but kindness and a positive attitude shows the same view to everyone #basic politeness with a little extra effort is amazingly difficult at times #but it goes MILES
Genuinely good advice from @aroace-get-out-of-my-face
can someone recommend some beginner normal behaviors for someone looking to become normal
#life advice#autistic stuff#and anybody who finds this hard which is pretty much everybody#would also add learning the functions and skills of small talk#yes i know i know it's evil it's horrible when nobody told you how#but get this: it's just social glue#it's the human equivalent of hyenas lowing to each other or crows clicking to each other#it's just “hello i exist you are in my social circle i accept your existence and please know that i don't hate you”#and it's got some fairly basic first-level rules too!! You intiate the greeting (Hello/hi/howdy/good evening/etc depending on context – yea#that dependency can be a bit trickier to learn but if you think of social structure it helps; e.g. this human supposedly ranks higher than#me and has not spoken to me before so i need to say “hello” instead of “wassup”)#and then you say “how are you?” or the less formal “how's it going?” (meaning: *I am initiating small talk*) and they will say “I'm alright#you?” (meaning: *I accept your move to small talk and value your input*) and you say “I'm okay” (NOT meaning: I am actually okay – but#rather *I appreciate your acceptance of my move to small talk and respect you so I will complete this ritual*)#in some cases people will go into a bit more detail – typically in response to “How's it going?” or “How've you been?” rather than “How are#you?” (in less formal contexts e.g. between friends) – and say something like#“Yeah I'm doing alright; had a lot of stuff on this week so I'm looking forward to a break!” and this is where you employ your Sympathetic#Vocalisation (“mm yeah” (solemn. nod head towards them at medium speed a couple of times)#BUT. you do not dwell on this. they will probably ask you “what about you?” afterwards and here you say something like “I'm good; I've got#some pasta I'm looking forward to eating tonight” (or any other bland mundane thing about your life. note: you CAN lie. not extravagantly#but you can say “Yeah I'm great; been busy too but gotta stay on your toes eh?” when you actually want to collapse right now#generally people react well to either positivity or wry humour at your negative experience#like: either bring out something that's a minor good thing and refer to that (see example character's “looking forward to a break”)#or if that's too fake for you you can mention something you're struggling with light heartedly (see: staying on toes example)#generally though people do not want to actually discuss each other's lives here. just social glue! just the “I acknowledge you and wish to#instigate/reaffirm a social bond in this situation so we can then get onto the real stuff or leave with stronger social connections”#anyway that's like the first basic step it; does tend to get a little less straight forward the further you go in#but I've found it a great skill to learn#and once I realised it was in fact a skill just like ice skating or acting or writing i was like ahah! i can learn this!!#and show off like a kid on a skateboard every single day!
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almadelsur · 1 month ago
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💋 The Secrets One Keeps
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summary: You're in love with jj but he's with kie, so in moments of pure desperation you often find yourself turning to the person he hates the most...rafe
warnings: some good old angsty pining, very very slight smut if you squint, fem!reader, one or two uses of y/n, plz let me know if I missed anything
a/n: SHE'S BACKKKK, so I've decided to completely reformat and re-post this fic with a few tweaks and editing considering i first wrote this like 3 years ago, and yes for those of you who have been asking, I fully intend to finallly continue this fic....more info on that later ;)
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・
JJ’s eyes change the moment Kiara steps into any room. Immediately his presence is ripped away from your immediate atmosphere, popping the little bubble you'd spent all afternoon crafting as he sprung up to greet the olive-skinned enigma that captured his affections.
“Kie!” The joy in his tone was incomparable to anything he’d directed at anybody else. Nothing could draw out such happiness from the blonde. You hated that about her.
In an attempt at self-defense, your brain shut itself off. Shielding you from processing the scene in front of you, your emotions ran cold like cement pouring down and across your neurons. It was the only way you could survive such a beating to your heart.
You figured that by distancing yourself mentally, you wouldn’t have to raise suspicion and distance yourself physically. In reality, you knew the real reasoning was your inability to stay away from JJ but the facade helped you cope.
“Hey J” she embraced him and his body relaxed around her as if she was the only source of his happiness. The only way he’d find alleviation from what he perceived as a shitty life being through her. “Sorry I’m late my parents had me running like crazy at the wreck today.”
Scattered greetings filled the air from the rest of the pogues, yet you could only focus on the way his eyes fixated on her like she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
“Here come sit baby” he offered her the seat he had just previously been place holding. What you thought had been quality time with your best friend, presented itself to you now as momentary attention to pass the time until his actual desire arrived.
Settling herself down and offering you a wide smile, her shoulder bumped against yours gently as a sign of acknowledgment.
“Hey dude” she directed at you, but you didn’t reply. You just couldn’t bring yourself to pretend. Not today anyway. Instead, you offered her a small smile, it was minimal but it was the best you could do under the circumstances.
“Yo" A crumpled tissue paper flew at your head, jj attempting to refocus your attention on him, "didn’t you say you were gonna get some water or something?” He spoke up, the scheme evident in his tone.
“um yeah I guess” You lifted yourself up and took a few steps before jj used the opportunity to slump himself down where you had been sat and sprawled his arms across his girlfriend’s shoulders.
“snooze ya loose sucker” he joked as he turned to Kiara to start up some mindless conversation. Leaving you behind in the dust.
Your teeth gritted as you focused on making your way to the kitchen hoping the distance from the scene unfolding would lift the iron grip on your heart.
You made the fatal mistake of glancing back and you were met with the image of jj nuzzling up to kiara in a picturesque display of love. The lump building at the base of your throat indicated that it was your time to get the hell out of there before you broke down in front of everyone. 
“Shit guys, y’know what I just realized I gotta go” You spoke quickly, your tone matching your pace as you rushed to the exit of the chateau. 
“You’re still coming to the party later though right?” John B asked, not tearing his eyes away from the screen in front of him. 
“Mhm yeah sure” you opened the door ready to depart. 
“Shit I forgot about that! Me and jj are gonna be late, we got dinner at the wreck tonight.” kiara added as you stepped out, unable to control the escape of a rogue tear.
“Date night babyyyy” You heard JJ cheer before you slammed the door behind you. 
“Is Y/N okay? She seemed a bit off.” Kie nudged JJ as she questioned. 
JJ furrowed his eyebrows momentarily. Glancing out the window, he saw you jog away from the house, and a brief flash of worry flashed through his mind. As quick as it came, it dissipated. He shook his head figuring that if there had been something wrong, he’d have been the first to know. 
“Nah she’s okay don't worry.” he offered to kie.
Boy was he mistaken. 
——————————————————————
“Fuuuck me” you moaned out, sinking into him one last time. You were hot, sweaty, and heaving as you pulled him out of you.
“I thought I just did” Rafe taunted leaning back to lie down, arms crossed behind his head causing his taut abdomen to flex.
You scrambled off the bed, picking up your garments and shoving them back on your body forcefully.
“What, no pillow talk?” He tried again.
“Rafe..” you trailed off. Whenever you’d finish fucking, you’d struggle to even look at him. The self-hatred flooded your body as soon as the orgasm poured out.
“Hey you called me” he eyed you intently but you knew he didn’t actually care. To rafe cameron everything was just a game. At this point it was pretty much common knowledge. “In fact” he moved closer to you so that he could speak directly into your ear “It’s always you that calls me.”
“Don’t be a dick” you stood up and eyed your heels contemplating whether you could face the walk back in them. “You know it makes me feel like shit.” It might have sounded brutal but that’s how things were with rafe.
“Yeah, it’s like you punctuate your orgasms with self-hate.”
“I'm a pogue, rafe.” You argued back as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“So? Kooks and pogues can fuck you know.” You couldn’t comprehend why you were even having this conversation. Why now, why tonight.
“Yeah maybe, not you though.” You didn’t want to tell him the reason explicitly.
“I fuck pogues.”
“You fuck anyone.” The words came out almost instantly and without thinking, yet rafe took no offense.
“Exactly so what’s the issue?”
“The issue is, rafe.” You paused trying to find the words without actually having to say the words. “The issue is that if my friends found out they’d hate me, probably more than I already hate myself.”
He just chuckled, the look in his eyes changing as he figured you out.
“What's funny?” You challenged.
“You don’t have to bullshit me princess.” He looked up at you with a devilish glint in his eye. “You just don’t want jj knowing about your little escapades huh?” Bingo.
“He’s with Kiara.” You shrugged him off.
“Uh huh, you like him but you can’t have him.” Every word he spoke striking a nerve deep within you. “So you’re fucking me to fuck him over.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” You grabbed your heels and shoved them on, wincing as you buckled them up.
“Don’t I?” He threw his joggers on lazily as he stood, the level dynamics changing significantly. The older boy towered over you. “Where are they tonight?”
“Back at John B’s, we had a little get-together.” You crossed your arms. More often than not you usually called rafe after a few drinks left you feeling lonely. “Sorry, your invite must have gotten lost in the mail.” You attempted to jab at him with sarcasm yet he clearly held the upper hand with his line of questioning. 
“So all of them are there now?” He stepped towards you.
“Mhm,” You lied.
“Even jj?” Moving closer until your neck was craned upwards to meet his eyes.
Taking your silence as an answer, he reached up and ran his palms across your upper arms, prompting you to uncross them.
“He was uh- him and kie should be getting there soon” You mumbled.
“So would i be wrong in guessing, that might have prompted your call then?” You let yourself be guided by his movements leaning your neck further back as his hand trailed up to your jawbone.
“rafe…” you called out insignificantly.
He leaned in and pressed his lips against your neck, right over where he could feel your pulse, and pressed down.
You couldn’t help the gasp that left your mouth. Because as much as your heart belonged to jj, rafe was just so fucking good at raising your temperature.
“Round two?” He mumbled against your neck.
“Yeah..” you attempted yet it came out as a whisper. He grabbed you swiftly and lifted you, moving you across the room and throwing you down onto his bed, crawling on top of you in a predatory manner as he did so. As your back hit the bed, the ringing of your phone brought you back from the haze he had you under. 
“Wait rafe stop stop” you pushed him off and grabbed the screeching mobile, pressing it up to your ear. “Hello?”
“Dude, where are you?” The sound of jj’s voice came through over the pumping sound of music and party chatter. “Me and Kie just got back and John B says no one’s seen you for like over an hour.”
“Oh I’m uh, I had to go do something for my mom” The lie pouring out of your mouth caused rafe to chuckle which was of course met by a slap from you signaling for him to be quiet.
“Oh well, when are you getting back? I have to tell you about this date. You’re gonna be so proud of me I actually think I’m ready to tell Kie I love her” you screwed your eyes shut as he spoke.
“Yeah I- you know what I can’t make it back my mom needs me to stay and help out but uh I’ll see you tomorrow or something.” You hung up before he could even reply, throwing your phone down uncaring of its state.
“What’s wrong? They getting hitched?” Rafe spoke up from behind you.
You turned to Rafe, the fire in your veins pushing your arms to grab him, roughly pulling him back onto you.
“Just shut up and fuck me rafe.”
And fuck you he did.
——————————————————————
The next morning you woke up to the sight of rafe’s bare back. Not much of a cuddler, you figured.
Quietly you pushed the covers off and began to dress yourself back up. As you got to your shoes you sighed and shook your head, as if there was any way in hell you were going to walk home in heels. You scooped up your shoes and your now-cracked phone shaking your head, slightly ashamed at your outburst.
Without even a second glance at the sleeping body you were leaving behind, you made your way over to the door. As you turned the knob and stepped out to leave, a husky voice spoke up.
“I’ll keep my ringer on for you babe.”
You rolled your eyes looking back at him, “Fuck you rafe.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m counting on.” He didn’t even open his eyes as he answered, instead just rustling around in the bed and turning to the other side, once again facing his back to you.
You scoffed as you exited. Your internal rant clouded your vision, body on autopilot with an excellent self-navigation of the Cameron house from the countless times you’d made this exit.
“Y/N?” The gentle voice wiped your thoughts clean as the shock stilled you dead in your tracks, slowly turning to come face to face with none other than Sarah.
“Sarah” you drawled out. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s my house?” Her head was cocked to the side, equally shocked to see you.
“No I just mean- I thought you were spending the night at John B’s.” You forced the small talk, avoiding the topic of why you were here, sneaking out at 8 in the morning.
“He had to work today, did you spend the night here?” She glanced up at the door of rafe’s bedroom.
“Umm-“ There had only been two other instances where you had been at a complete loss for words. The day jj told you he and Kiara were dating, the morning after your first sexual encounter with rafe, and now this.
“Are you sleeping with my brother?!” She whisper-shouted, eyes wide as the realization hit her. Busted.
“No?”
“Oh my god!” She grabbed you by the wrist and dragged you to her room, slamming the door as soon as you were both inside. “How long has this been going on?!” Her tone was loud and her hands wild as she interrogated you.
“Just a little under a year.” You sat on her bed and looked at your lap as you spoke. Reminiscent of a child being scolded.
“A year?! Oh my god!” She repeated. “Who knows about this?!”
With that, you looked up at her desperately. “No one. No one knows so please don’t tell them.” You didn’t have to name names for her to know who you were referring to.
“Are you two like” she paused “together?” She scrunched her nose up, disgusted at the thought of her bully of an older brother dating anyone.
“No god no. It’s just sex” you were just as uncomfortable as Sarah was, having to tell her about boning her older brother.
“Disgusting.” She turned away from you with her arms crossed, looking out the window.
“Look I’m not proud of it okay? Just-“ You sighed “Just please don’t tell anyone” pleading again.
Sarah let out a long sigh and uncrossed her arms. She walked over to you and joined you on the bed, her eyes showing concern mixed with something you couldn’t quite place your finger on.
“I thought you were into jj” she spoke softly, there it was. Pity.
“Yeah well, jj is with kie and instead of sitting around wallowing in self-pity, I decided to do something about it.” As the words left your mouth, you realized how weak the explanation was.
“So you just use rafe to bang the jj out of you.”
“It’s not like Rafe cares, if anything he’s also using me.” You tried to reason.
“I don’t doubt that. But I mean, that’s- It’s not healthy, you’ll never move on if you don’t actually process your emotio-“
“Look Sarah, I don’t need to do any of that shit okay? What I have here works, when I fu- when I’m with rafe, I don’t think about jj.” Tears began to swell in your eyes “Sleeping with rafe helps me forget about everything, even if it’s only for a little while he uh- he makes me feel good.” To an extent, there was truth behind your words, while you and rafe fucked the rest of the world went away. It was only after, that the crippling self-hatred hit you along with the return of your immense feelings for jj. 
Sarah shuffled over and threw her arm around you. “That’s not good for you, it’s just momentary. It’s easy and it's a cycle, you’re never going to get better going down this path. Especially not with rafe.”
“Rafe he’s- he’s not that bad.”
“Yes he is. But i bet it gives you satisfaction fucking him knowing jj hates him. Feels like revenge right?” She’d always been so perceptive your Sarah, you hated how she could see right through you.
Tears ran down your cheek silently. “You’re not gonna tell anyone right?” You sniffled.
She gave you one of those classic salt-of-the-earth Sarah Cameron smiles, the kinda smile that would light up any room she walked into. “Takin' it to the grave babe.”
A loud beeping caused both your heads to whip towards the window. “Shit, I completely forgot I was supposed to go on the HMS with pope and jj, we were gonna chill there until John B and Kie finished work.” She rose to her feet and extended an arm towards you. “Wanna come? Or we could drop you home if you’re not up for it.”
With a sigh you took her hand and pulled yourself up, walking beside her as you mentally prepped yourself to face the blonde you desperately pined for.
“Well rise and shine campers.” jj yelled out of the window of the drivers seat.
“Y/N! Where you been dude? you totally bailed last night.” Pope was next to speak as you and Sarah filed into the Twinkie. As JJ began to drive you avoided any form of eye contact in his general direction.
“I had to go help my mom out, blackout at mine again.” You didn’t even look at pope either, instead focusing your attention on the blur of trees and houses pacing by the window as JJ sped down the winding roads.
“Isn’t that what you were wearing last night?” pope, observant as always, pointed out.
“Uh yeah, I didn’t really get any time to change cause…”
“I called her last night when I got home, I was so drunk I don’t think I was ready to stop the party.” Sarah covered for you.
“Yeah I wrapped up helping my mom out and then this one calls me talkin bout a sleepover or something so I didn’t exactly have much time to change.” 
Thankfully pope had lost interest as soon as he had asked the question, otherwise, your overcompensating ass would have been caught out straight away. You always had to add to the lie until you felt like you had sold it completely.
Keeping your eyes trained on the outside meant that jj’s frown directed at you through the windscreen mirror went completely undetected. He always knew whenever there was something up with you and right there and then he knew something definitely was.
“Hey, you okay?” He didn’t need to address you explicitly for you to know he was talking to you.
“Yeah just tired.” You shrugged him off in an attempt to distance yourself from him yet again.
He knew you were lying but he didn’t understand why, you never lied to each other. Apart from John B, the pair of you were closer to each other than with anybody else in the group. You’d been best friends since kindergarten, and since then you’d sworn 3 things to each other.
1- You’d always share your snacks.
2-You’d always be best friends even if you argued.
 3- You would never ever lie or keep secrets from each other.
Of course, as the both of you grew older the rules became more and more lax. The snack sharing was limited only to when you felt nice enough and sometimes you’d go for days without making up if you had argued particularly badly. Having kept two friendship-breaking secrets from him, the childhood rules seemed pretty insignificant by now.
“Mhm,” he responded, flickering his eyes between you and the road. “Are we taking you home to change first?”
“Yeah, I don’t know if I’ll join you guys afterward though.” You chewed down on your nail anxiously as the tension from being in the same space as jj paired with the guilt from having fucked rafe prior, suffocated you.
JJ made a face as he focused on the road, something was wrong with you and he’d be dammed if he wasn’t going to put his everything into finding out what that was.
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imjustheretotrytohelp · 1 month ago
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People really do not give a fuck about Arab boys and men's lives. For more than a year now we've seen the constant dehumanization of Palestinian men and how their lives are deemed worthless.
I've been talking for a while now about my friend Mahmoud Jomaa (@mahmoudjumaa1238) and his difficulties fundraising for even a small goal. He has been at it since March and only recently reached his first goal after months of stagnation, but now we're back at a stage where he doesn't get anything for days on end.
And when I open his fundraiser to take a look at the progress and how little support he gets, I can't help thinking about how a french cop who killed a 17 years old Algerian boy was able to fundraise 1.6 million euros in around a week. A racist cop can become a millionaire by shooting point blank an Arab boy (named Nahel) in little more than a week but Mahmoud can't raise 20k in 7 months to survive a genocide.
Please let that sink in. Do you realize the violence this difference displays? How much villanization and dehumanization we fostered in the Global North to get here? And yes, it's not only the US, Europe has greatly contributed to the current climate of Anti-Arab hate, which in turns facilitate the current escalation of the genocide of Palestinian people.
That's why I can't believe I still have to come on here and ask people to donate to Mahmoud. Yet it makes sense : people just don't give a shit and that's it. They don't care that he already had to evacuate from the North of Gaza because of the constant attacks. They don't care that he is in an area that is currently very dangerous. They don't care that he lost his house, his university, his friends and family members, he is an Arab man. We shouldn't care, we should instead support the cop or the governments killing them right?
This has to stop, his life is worth that of any of you reading this post. I'm sick and tired of having to ask for people's help and constantly explain what he is going through when I shouldn't have to. He needs money to survive, that's it. That should be enough!
So please, help him. Share, donate and make your own posts to promote his fundraiser. He was supposed to reach 15k last month yet he has been stuck at around 12k for weeks. You CAN change that, so don't stay complacent please!
DONATE HERE
Vetted by @/gazafunds
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jensthwa · 4 months ago
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show & tell (SMG x reader).
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part of the love's an uncharted path universe ★.
SUMMARY:
You have known Mingi since you both were fourteen. You’ve been by his side through thick and thin and you would do anything for him, really, considering he’s your other half. When he has an unfortunate bed experience and asks for your help and you say yes, he starts considering that, maybe, you’re just the best friend a guy like him can have.
PAIRING: best friend!mingi x afab reader.
GENRE: childhood best friends to ?
WORD COUNT: 8k.
WARNINGS: SMUT ☽ (MINORS DNI) attempt !!! at comedy, wooyoung being a little shit, hwa being the voice of reason, sex talk, pet names (love and also dude and bro but in a sweet way), mingi scaring the sense out of you, descriptions of female anatomy, kissing, dirty talk (sort of), teasing, a little bit of voyeurism, fingering, squirting, almost getting caught, unresolved feelings.
NOTES: had to do a lot of research for this one, so i figured nothing better to post as my first fic here! this is 100% self indulgent, as all fics should be, and i think i've re-read it so many times that if you find a typo or something that just doesn't make sense, you can blame it on english not being my first language i guess lmao. i hope you enjoy it and if you do feel free to send to my askbox/reblog/type in any feedback or thoughts! <3
POSTED: july 18th 2024.
masterlist. / part two.
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“Delete her number right now!” 
“She's such a bitch for saying that to you…” 
“And over text too? Wow.” 
“Yeah, no, I didn't like her from the start.” 
Wooyoung’s living room comes to life once again that morning, voices echoing and insults flying out, all towards the girl Mingi’s seeing. 
Was seeing. You're sure she's out of his usual rotation with the lovely shit show she just caused. 
You stay silent, your eyes fixed on your best friend's expression, on his red cheeks and apologetic eyes because everyone told him that girl was bad news. 
He should've listened to you when you told him you liked her friend better. She was a sweet girl, clearly had a thing for Mingi. 
Unfortunately, Mingi has a type. And that type always ends up breaking his spirit one way or another. 
But you stay silent, letting your friends have their little rants about how much of a bitch she is for hurting Mingi's ego like that, until he covers up his face with his hands and lets out a frustrated whine. 
“That's enough, everyone. I think he got it.” You smile a little and everyone turns to you, Yunho’s chest heaving and everything but Seonghwa (who also kept his mouth shut all this time) interferes before anyone else has the chance to start again.
“You know you shouldn't feel ashamed for that, right?” he asks Mingi, who slowly lowers his hands to his lap and looks at you for a brief second. You nod, confirming what Hwa says “No one is born knowing everything and she shouldn't expect you to know how to make a girl squirt.” 
“Jesus Christ,” Mingi whines again, closing his eyes “Don't say it like that.” 
“How else should I say it?” Seonghwa is confused but he laughs a little bit and turns to you. 
Being the only girl in the room, you think everyone it's expecting you to pick your friend up and join them in their insults but you can't (for Mingi’s sake). Instead, you let out a sigh “I mean, it's hard to even make it happen on your own without any help, Mingi. I don't know what the fuck she's on but…” shrugging, you extend your arm to pat him in the shoulder two times “Hwa’s right.” 
“So you do know?” 
“Woo—” Hongjoong reprimands right away and you turn to Wooyoung, confused.
“Huh?” 
“You said that it's hard making it happen,” he explains, smiling because he just found a new target for the next few days “So you must know.” 
Talking about sex with them was never difficult, it didn't make you uncomfortable whatsoever but you know what Woo is doing. 
You look down at Mingi before answering though and his eyes are glued to the carpet, begging for the topic of his unfortunate encounter with that bitch to die on everyone's tongue. 
So you take mercy on him. 
“Oh. I mean… Yeah.” You shrug once again, leaning back against the cushions on the couch while Wooyoung claps like he just heard the most hilarious joke ever. 
“You truly are amazing.” 
Rolling your eyes, you get up from your comfy seat “Sure. But it took a lot of practice and the whole ordeal was frustrating for me, so, again, I don't know what the fuck she was on,” you say again, smiling down at Mingi before taking a few steps towards the door “It's noon already, by the way.” 
“Shit.” Woo gets up quickly from his spot on the floor and everyone else follows suit. 
“Alright, everyone out! We have a midterm to cheat on.” San calls out and everyone takes it as their sign to actually leave (not just hang around the apartment) and continue with their days. 
This reunion was a little impromptu, just because Wooyoung texted everyone begging to come over and hang out with him and San before their online philosophy midterm. 
“And by that he means that you need to stay,” Wooyoung hugs Seonghwa hard, almost begging him with his eyes “We didn't study… Don't look at me like that! Please?” 
“I'm not doing your fucking midterm for you!”
You chuckle, leaning on the door and waiting for your ride home to get his shoes on. When you look down at him again, Mingi mouths a thank you and you blow him a kiss. 
When you get downstairs, you swear you still hear Wooyoung begging his senior to take the test for him. 
Everyone is quiet in the car. You can tell they're tired from exams and life in general, so you don't press them with questions and just let the music play in the background while you look out the passenger window and, eventually, at Mingi. 
His grip on the steering wheel lets you know he's a little more affected than he let on back there. But, again, you say nothing. 
You know better than to pressure him into telling you his feelings. 
Mingi and you have been friends forever. He lived a few houses down from yours, becoming your first friend when you moved to the city. You both were fourteen when it happened, so you've known him long enough to know what happens when he gets his heart broken. 
Not that Mingi loved that girl or anything, but he never really took embarrassment well. He didn't when the first girl he liked rejected him in front of the whole ninth grade class and he didn't when his pants ripped in the middle of the stage while performing a routine with his dance team on senior year. 
You stood by his side every single time and every single time he waited to sit down and let everything out, collect his feelings and talk to you through his frustrations. You really loved that about him, because he never said anything he regretted just because he was upset at the moment. 
Maybe that's why you two have been friends for so long. Opposites attract, or whatever your mother told you one time. 
In reality, you think it's because you two complement each other well. 
He knows when to speak his mind and you're kind of impulsive, heart on your sleeve and sharp tongue ready to defend your and your loved ones honor if needed. 
That's why it takes a lot of strength for you to not pull up that girl's number from his phone and give her a piece of your mind. 
One by one, you drop your friends off in different parts of the city and when it's time to go into your own house, you circle the car and Mingi rolls his window down.
He reads the look you give him a little too well, so he opens his mouth to stop you but you shake your head. 
“Call me, come over or just let me know if you need anything,” you start before he says anything “If you need me to beat her up, I can do that too.” 
He huffs out a laugh “You don't even know how to fight, love.”
You sigh at the nickname, he's been using it since the time you told him you had a crush on his friend, way bsck in highschool, and that you were positive you were going to get together and he would csll you love because that's what good boyfriend's do. 
Turns out, you weren't exactly his friends type. Neither were the other girls in your school. 
“I don't give a shit, I'll do it,” You two smile to each other fondly for a few seconds and then you tap the top of the car “Thanks for the ride, dude.” 
“You’re welcome, bro.” He rolls his eyes, annoyed because he hates when you call him that, but waits for you to get inside either way. 
And in the solitude of your room, you wait. 
You distract yourself with papers that are due in a few days, you start studying for your finals even though they're months away and you even go downstairs to say goodbye to your parents when they leave for a fancy dinner with their colleagues before you hear your phone ring. 
Mingi's FaceTime comes right on time, because you were getting really anxious from the radio silence on his end. 
“I have a small query for you.” He puts on an accent that makes you grimace immediately and he laughs at you. 
“Ew. Never do that ever again,” you beg, going back upstairs to your room “Go ahead.” 
“How do you do it?” 
“Excuse me?” 
“How the fuck do you make yourself squirt, love?” 
Oh. 
Definitely not the conversation you were hoping to have with him. 
It caughts off guard and you stammer your response “Um… You— I mean, it's not really a thing I can explain.” 
“You have such a way with words, though.” 
You stare at him through the screen, annoyed, and he just laughs again “Don't make me come over and beat you up.” 
“Alright, alright,” his giggling dies out and you distract yourself from the heat you feel creeping over your cheeks while putting away your statistics prep for the quiz you have next week. There's a bit of silence and then you hear him sigh “I do really want to know, though.” 
“If you're asking me this to then go over to her house and prove her wrong, I'm not telling you shit.” 
“No! No, that's not it at all,” he defends himself quickly when you turn your head to the camera, scowl in your face “When she asked me to do it, I really did try to make her, you know…” 
“You said squirt so freely a minute ago, Mingi,” you tease, smiling, but at his expression, you give in “What exactly did you do?” 
“I tried to, you know, do it like they do it in the movies,” he demonstrates his point with his free hand, his middle and ring finger down on his sheets, pressing and moving side to side “And she was enjoying it and she came, but nothing really… came out.” 
“Wow, first of all: you make her come and she has the nerve to give you shit over text? I hate her,” you shake your head, disappointment written all over your face “and second of all, that was a terrible mistake.” 
“What? Going like this?” He does it again and you roll your eyes, laughing a second later. 
“No, dude, trying to porno your way into making her squirt.” 
“Oh.” His movements on the sheets slow down and you grimace again. 
“Please stop doing that,” you beg and he snaps out of his thoughts to look at you through the screen. You take your phone and move to the bed, resting your head against the pillows with a huff. 
You ponder for a moment. You're sure telling him what he wants to hear it's not really a threat to your friendship, but it's also something that's very personal and intimate. You can talk about sex with Mingi and the other guys, sure, what doesn't mean you tell them about your sex life. 
Maybe that's why Wooyoung was so excited earlier today, because you spilled something that involves you directly and not something vague and general like you usually do. 
“Would it give you peace of mind if I explained it to you?” You ask, your voice barely a whisper as you sit straight on the bed. 
Your best friend takes what feels like a lifetime to respond and, when does, it's in a hushed tone as well “Please.” 
You groan and you comply either way, trying to find the right words to even start “Okay, I'm going to be very technical about this.” 
“I wouldn't expect anything else from you.” 
His teasing tone makes you glare at him for a few seconds before dismissing it with a click of your tongue “The very first thing you need to make sure happens, is that you wash your hands—” 
“Yes, Y/N, I'm not a virgin,” he huffs this time, annoyed “I know all of that, just skip to the part where I make her squirt.” 
“Jesus, fine! I also want to clarify that this works on me and I'm not really sure if it'll work on anyone else, alright?” he nods and you look away from the screen because you're not sure how to look him in the eyes “The first thing that I do— The first thing that you need to do,” you correct yourself quickly “Is make sure she's comfortable. And I mean, the space. Towels, water bottles… She needs to hydrate a lot.” 
“Hydrate… a… lot…” You turn your head to the screen and your jaw goes slack at what you see. 
“Are you writing this down?!” 
“I’m making sure I don't forget anything!” 
“You're unbelievable…” You let out under your breath and take a deep one before resuming the, apparently, class “Squirting can be confused as peeing and—” 
“Shit, hold on.” He interrupts and you hear his mom’s voice at the door, asking him something you can't really catch through the shitty airpod audio “It's just Y/N… I'm not really saying anything so I don't understand how I'm being too loud for— Yes ma'am.” 
You try not to laugh because he's literally being scolded right in front of you. 
Old habits die hard, and Mingi's mom loves to put him on the spot. 
Your laugh dies hard as well, because the next words, for some reason, make your heart drop to your ass. 
“She's telling me to either cut it out or go to your house, so… I'm coming over.” 
“Oh, I— Hello?” Your lockscreen mocks you because the call literally ended before you could tell him to go and fuck himself “Shit.” 
You don't know why you panic, but you do. You tidy up the room, you change your pijamas into something more presentable and you try to remember what were you telling him before he pulls open your bedroom door. 
“Mingi! Fuck, you scared the shit out of me “ you're panting, hand over your chest. 
He’s also panting, like he runned to get to your house, but he looks dumbfounded by your reaction “Your mom literally gave me the spare keys in your presence.”  
When he steps closer, you notice he's wearing cologne and that his hair it's a little wet, still, so you figure he took a shower before calling you tonight. 
Which means he probably wanted to sleep everything off, like he usually does, but whatever this is made him call you. 
“Yeah! But I thought you— Nevermind.” He shrugs and gives your hair a kiss before he moves to sit at your desk, the same way he usually does when he steals your laptop and notes to complete his assignments for the few classes you share. 
God. Somehow, you wish he was doing just that so it brings back some sense of normalcy. Maybe then, your heart can calm down enough for you to understand why this specific situation has your senses going insane. 
You sit back down on your bed and try to get your heart back to its place in the meantime. 
“They're not home, right? I didn't see your dad’s car.” 
“Company dinner.” 
“Ah.” He nods and you both fall in uncomfortable silence. It shouldn't be awkward, but it kind of is, even if you laugh when he pulls out the notebook he was writing on from underneath his oversized shirt and steals a pen from your pencil case, it's still a little weird. 
You gulp. 
“So, squirting can be confused as peeing.” He recalls the last thing you said with a smile and then he turns to look at you for a second “Go on.” 
You're grateful he's taking notes all of the sudden. He's turned to you, so you have a clear view of his back and you can freely take a grounding breath before continuing “It can make you feel very uncomfortable if you think you're going to pee yourself and that's really why most women don't squirt in the first place.” 
“You sound like you're reading a text book.” He confesses with a laugh. 
“I told you, I'm being very technical about this— Besides, I did my research when I was trying to…” you gulp again “You know.” 
“You said squirt so freely a minute ago.” Mingi teases you the same way you teased him earlier and you squint your eyes in return. 
“Very funny. Anyways… Yeah, when you feel that, you usually tense up. You need to relax before even making it happen,” he nods, writing it down quickly “I also read that, depending on the person, you can confuse the liquid with, like, usual… arousal? Yeah, arousal” you sound more confident the second time you say it, unsure on how to call it because you never really explained anything related to your vagina to anyone else. 
He turns to you, confused ���So… If she doesn't squirt a lot, how can I tell if she did it?” 
“I guess you'll notice it in her reaction?” You shrug and then cough a little to try and get rid of the sudden lump on your throat “I mean, it's not my case, so I wouldn't… I wouldn't know that.” 
Mingi, because -you guess- hates you, just raises a brow and looks you over one time before turning back to his notes. 
“A-anyways,” you cough again “It's all in her g-spot. It happens because it gets stimulated and that g-spot it's like…” you, once again, try to find the ideal words to explain “It's like the upper wall of the vagina? No, no, that's not right,” you see him draw a line over what he clearly wrote down on the paper and you laugh, apologetic “It's more like the, uh… Like the front wall of it.” 
“Front wall?” 
“Y-yeah?” you offer, nervous and unsure “I mean… Ugh, let me explain again. Something that you need to take into account is that you can only find it if she's really, really turned on.” 
“O… kay.” 
“Sort of like when you get hard we, uh, also get hard. Just differently,” you notice he's no longer taking notes when you turn to him again and the room is suddenly very hot. 
The AC’s on, right? 
Fuck. 
“And apparently it only really shows up when you're really aroused. The g-spot, I mean,” Quickly, you're up from your bed and walking around it, fetching your water bottle and taking a big gulp of it with your eyes closed. 
Mingi clears his throat a second later. 
“So it feels hard to the touch or…” 
“Not really, um… It kinda feels like a berry.” 
He laughs “What?” 
“Yeah, it's kind of soft but it has a texture to it too. And we, uh… have this gland that fills up with the liquid— Kind of like a prostate gland! Yeah, that's what that article said,” putting even more distance within Mingi and you, you sit back on the bed, just on the other side “If you try to do it before it fills up, you end up with nothing. That's what frustrated me the whole time I was learning how to do it.” 
“You didn't drink enough water?” 
“No, no— It fills up when you get really turned on. And when I was trying, I was trying way too hard and didn't, uh… I didn't do a lot of foreplay before trying, s-so.” You nod, finishing the explanation in a softer voice. 
Your cheeks feel hot and you swear your upper lip is sweating a bit. Why would you even say that? 
“Y-you didn't touch yourself enough or…?” 
“Exactly, I didn't, I just… Tried t-to stimulate it. Wasn't even wet enough so I used, uh, lube.” 
“Oh… Lube. Sure, okay.” He nods again, and then moves his hand over his face, looking away for a second “And then?” 
“I'm not really sure how to… Give me a second.”
What were you even telling him before exposing yourself like that? Before the tension in the room skyrocketed in a suffocating way? You're not sure. 
Oh, foreplay. Okay, what's next? 
“Fingering,” you say out loud when you remember and at the sudden word Mingi turns to you, eyes wide and you stumble over your words yet again “Y-you need to finger her to stimulate the g-spot, duh.” 
“Don't duh me, Y/N, I'm learning!” 
“Sorry!” 
“Okay! Now what do I do when… fingering.” 
That makes you frown. You're not really sure what to tell him next. So you look straight ahead and, unintentionally, move your ring and middle finger the way you do when you're touching yourself. 
In the silence of the room, you audibly hear Mingi’s breath hitching and that draws you back to reality. 
When you look at him, his eyes are solely focused on your fingers. 
“I don't really know how to explain this next part.” You sound apologetic, your lips tensing into a straight line. 
A bit passes. 
And then another one and another one where Mingi looks at you with a weird, foreign expression on his face. 
So you open your mouth to apologize to him, but he beats you to it. 
“Then show me.” 
You swear you never even heard him sound like that before. Or maybe you have, the tone of voice similar to when he just wakes up, low, grouchy, as if his throat might be dry. 
It just never affected you this way. 
“W-what?” you blink hard, a few times, trying to focus on whatever the hell is going on. 
“Show me how you do it… I-if you want to.” 
“Mingi!” 
“I just— Look, you don't have to,” he says right away “If you don't want to, you can forget I ever asked but I'm so… curious”, he says, getting up from your desk chair and planting his knee into the bed “And I'm also really butthurt over what happened. I want to learn but I don't really have anyone else to ask.” 
“What about, uh… Minseo! Yeah, what about her?” you offer quickly, also getting up. 
“San's ex?!” 
“I don't know any other woman that you also know, Mingi!” 
He gulps and breathes heavily, gathering his words, his thoughts, just like he always does and you remember: This is Mingi. Your Mingi. The Mingi you've known for years and care about more than anything. 
“I'm asking you because I trust you,” he says, looking you over once again “And because if I fail, you're not… going to make fun of me for it.”
There it is. 
You soften at that and he seems to relax at your reaction. His demeanor lets you know he's not just saying that because he wants to see you touch yourself, he's being honest. 
So you decide to be honest, as well. In a whisper, because your voice will tremble and give away how strongly you feel about his request. 
“I've never done it in front of anyone before.” 
“So no one has ever make you—” 
“No,” you confirm before he even gets it out and you sigh “I never ask for it and I haven't really… I've only slept with—” 
“Hangyeol.” He nods and scrunches his nose in disgust at the memory of your highschool boyfriend. They never really got along and it was a shame, because Han was a great guy, he just wasn't the one for you. 
“Mingi,” you walk over to him and he straightens up his spine “This could really… I mean, there's no getting rid of me on this lifetime, buddy,” reminding him makes him smile and you do as well, nervous, your body on high alert “But this could mess us up.” You finish in a whisper. 
“I'm not letting that happen.” He says back, eyes scanning your face before zeroing on your eyes “There's no getting rid of me either, love.” 
That nickname is going to be the death of you, you're sure. It makes you suck in air you very much need at this moment. 
Fuck it. 
“I'll… get the towels, then.” You smile a little even though your cheeks are burning and you feel a little dizzy while holding his gaze, but you don't back down. 
Before you move, though, he stops you with his hand holding your waist “I know where they are. Stay here.” 
You could literally melt right now. And you know it's a short trip to the downstairs hallway closet from your room, so you make sure you strip your duvet before things get messy. 
You should go to the bathroom, too, to clean yourself up a bit before Mingi finds out what you find out when you sit on your bed. 
You're so wet. 
And it's so fucking embarrassing, because you're not supposed to feel this way for him, for this.
Because, if anything, this is clearly just an educational experience.
And if Mingi’s excited look when he re-enters your bedroom tells you otherwise, you're choosing to ignore it for the clearly educational experience’s sake. 
“These will do?” 
You take the two mismatched towels and place them on the bed right away, not even looking at him. 
“Yep.” 
You think he nods but you're not sure, you just caught a glimpse of him moving towards your desk while you pretend to fix the towels in the bed to perfection. 
“Okay, so… You need to, uh, be comfy and shit. Drink water, you just did that a few minutes ago…” when you turn to him, he's reading his notes like he's actually about to conduct an experiment and you chuckle before shaking your head “The… The foreplay part should be next, right?” 
“Right…” you drag out, biting the inside of your cheek before he looks back at you. 
“You look really tense, Y/N,” he deadpans, looking down at his notes again “You need to relax so it can happen, right?” 
“You're about to see me touch myself and you think I can relax?” 
“Oh,” he frowns, immediately and then blinks a few times to refocus, you think “I'm not the one doing it?” 
“Uh… Yes? Later? I thought you wanted to see me first, y-you… You asked me to show you…” 
You can feel him think, the gears on his brain twisting and you think he's going to backpedal at any second because he's not really saying anything. Then you see it, the moment the image crosses his mind. 
And the next second you have him in front of you, towering over your form and then he's not.
Getting on his knees, he tentatively places a hand on your knee and parts your legs so you can make room for him to touch the end of the mattress with his chest and raise his chin just enough to make you think he's asking you to kiss him.
Oh God, you want to kiss him. 
His voice is a sweet murmur when he speaks again “Show me how to get you there, love,” he sounds like he's pleading, like he's begging you to instruct him and your breath catches when he moves his hand up your thigh “What do you like?” 
Your mouth moves before you can even think “Kiss me.” 
You don't even notice you're leaning forward until his breath fans against your chin and he tilts his head even more so that your noses touch. 
“How do you like being kissed?” 
You breathe out a laugh, a little annoyed by his constant questioning “Figure it out, Mingi.” And then the last thing you see is his smirk before his mouth presses against yours. 
It's not what you expect. If anything, you expected him to take the lead. Han used to do so, all the guys you've ever kissed did it as well. You don't really know why his patience surprises you, but it does and if your heart could race even more, it would. 
Because he waits for your guidance, waits for you to grab his shirt and jank him closer, waits for you to sigh against him and then returns the gesture when he feels your fingers move upwards and tangle in his dark hair. 
His mouth is complying to yours, his tongue is exploring it and wetting your lips in the process and you've never felt this good with anyone before. 
That's something you'll need to unpack later, but your brain disconnects when your best friend lets out a noise the second his hands touch your waist under your shirt and you forget, for a split second, that the point of this is to have you on your back pleasing yourself for him to learn. 
Because you want nothing more than to hear him make that noise again. 
The kisses grow needy and so do you when he trails a path with his wet lips from your chin to your neck and the next thing you know is that your back is against the towels you laid down before and his mouth is kissing the valley of your breasts over the cotton of your shirt. 
You look down and it takes a second for him to feel you staring before he looks up at you “Should we take this off?” 
Your voice gives away how gone you are when you reply a simple yes and your shirt is on the floor the next instant. 
Now, you're sure this is not the first time Mingi has seen you in your underwear. You both have gone swimming before and he has walked into your room a million times while you're getting ready. You're even sure he's seen you walk out from your bathroom in this specific bra before… But he's staring at you like it's the first time he's been able to trace the way your breasts spill a little bit over the fabric of this old bra you decided to wear today, like it's the first time he's allowed himself to enjoy it. 
Like it's the first time he's allowing himself to feel any sort of attraction for you. 
“Fuck,” you whisper, shallow breath hitting his cheek when he returns his mouth to your jaw “Let me… Come here.” 
You scoot up until your head rests against your pillows and he follows, resting his body weight on his side and chasing your mouth when you turn your face to him. 
You should speed this up. There's no way you're not going to feel like shit if tomorrow you wake up and remember you're letting yourself enjoy this more than you should. 
There’s no reason for you to lose your breath when his fingertips trace softly the skin under your breasts or for your legs to grant him access so quickly when they reach your belly and bypass every other part of your body before going straight in between them. 
And he notices it too. 
“I don't know why I asked you so many questions before,” he starts, turning his hand so that he back of it and his nails start caressing the inside of your thighs through your sweatpants “I know what you like. I pay attention to you whenever we're talking about sex with the guys.” 
You frown, about to remind him that you never speak directly about your own experiences but he continues his ministrations, giving your other thigh attention “I usually watch you closely in case any of it makes you uncomfortable, but I notice your reactions when they speak about something that you like.” 
Oh. Heart on your sleeve, your biggest flaw. 
“Like that one time Woo was going on and on about marking and you couldn't stop fidgeting on your seat…” his nose traces your jaw softly before his teeth take the skin underneath it and you gasp just enough to prove him right “Or that time Yunho said he hated teasing because he's an impatient little shit” he chuckles, his index finding the spot next to your mound and going down slowly until his knuckle graces the crevice where your leg and your hip connect “and you defended it until we had to stop you guys from yelling each other over it…” 
Your breath shakes and your eyes close at the sensation “Mingi…” 
“Am I wrong?” 
You shake your head no and you can all but hear him smile when he speaks again. 
“Of course I'm not.” 
You open your eyes and expect him to look at you the way he does when you're unable to defend yourself against his quips, but he's not. His eyes are following his own actions and his bottom lip is pulled by his teeth when he takes the fabric of your sweatpants and pulls it up, enough to give you some friction where you need it the most. 
“Can I take this off?” 
“Fuck, y-yes.” 
Joining your shirt on the ground, you're left only in your underwear while Mingi is fully clothed and it bothers you out of nowhere. 
“You're so wet already…” he observes and you blush, puffing some air and covering your eyes with you hand. He just laughs “That's a good thing, it means that I'm doing okay.” 
He's doing more than okay. Damn all the experience he has and the way he reads you so well. 
But his sweet tone gives you some clarity and you support your weight on your hand to fix your position on the bed. 
“Alright, let's… resume the lesson before my parents get home.” 
“They probably won't for now. The company dinners last until like… two in the morning, usually, right?” 
“That's when they decide to go out for drinks.” 
“Your mom always wants to go out for drinks.” 
“Let's not talk about my mom right now!” you beg and he laughs again, making you chuckle alongside him and you're glad he's talking all of this -the kissing, the teasing, the sweet-talk and the wet patch on your underwear- so well. 
The awkwardness from before dissipated the moment he got on his knees in front of you and all that followed was this lovely tension you're dying to keep between the two of you forever even though you shouldn't. 
“Show me, love,” he pleads and you sigh, his mouth finding your cheek for a quick second, encouraging you “And then you can show me how to make you feel good, too.” 
You stare at him for a few seconds “Damn, you're good,” he shakes his head and you smile, getting rid of your underwear and pushing the quick moment of embarrassment being bare with him in the room gives you “Remember that this is what works for me, okay?” 
He nods and then props himself up so he can see it better. 
You take a second before your fingers dive into your wet folds and, when you do, you gasp at the feeling. 
You've never been more wet just for kissing and teasing before. What the fuck. 
You do what you usually do when you're alone for a while and try to contain yourself from moaning because Mingi's eyes keep moving from your fingers to your face. Then, you remember you should be talking him through it, as well. 
“You see how I'm building it up?” you start, chest heaving and he hums as his reply “I'm not trying to make myself come but I'm kinda just… edging myself a little bit.” 
“Edging,” he repeats and then hisses when he sees your thumb pressing into your clit just how you like it, making you sigh heavily “I know all about that, that's good.” 
“Y-you do?” 
“You'll be surprised,” he smiles, proud of himself. 
“Okay,” you continue, taking a deep breath “Then you know about prepping, too,” he nods “So, a finger first…” you say, swallowing hard when your index makes its way into your cavity without much effort. 
Dragging back and forth for a minute or so, you're incapable of containing yourself any longer. Air leaves your mouth in pants and your eyes close when you drag the pad of your finger upwards, locating your g-spot with ease because you're used to it.
“And then, two fingers.” 
“Mhm.” 
“Look at the position of my hand. I read that these two fingers work the best because they're longer than the rest, although…” you look at Mingi's hand over your belly. You didn't even noticed before this that he was touching you, but he is and his thumb is tracing a pattern that both relaxes you and sends shivers down your spine “I'm sure that it won't be a problem for you, huh?” 
He sends a cocky smirk your way and you would've smacked him if you weren't so… preoccupied. 
Pressing your precious spot and then dragging back and forward, you stop the movements altogether. It felt too good, way more than good and it's a different sensation of what you're used to. 
And it's all because of him. 
You look at his side profile, his eager eyes commiting to memory what you're doing to yourself, probably taking mental notes now that his notebook is long forgotten over at your desk and… 
He deserves this. He deserves to be the one to have this, just tonight. 
You hate to leave what feels like it's about to be your best orgasm in the hands of someone who's just learning, yet alone a man.
But Mingi is not just any man. 
“Mingi,” you call and his curious eyes leave your heat a second later “your turn.” 
“Did you… Did it happen? I didn't see anythi—” 
“No,” you interrupt him, your fingers leaving you and you turn to him, your clean hand finding his face “show me what you learned.” 
His mouth parts, but you have a newfound confidence and a glint in your eyes that is new, so nothing comes out. 
“Prove that bitch wrong.” 
That seems to do it. 
His eyes go from being confused to spark with determination and want and electricity runs through you again because he seems so relieved he gets to touch you sooner than expected. 
Shyness and nervousness buried six feet under, you both smile to each other before you feel him. 
His fingers gathering your wetness, his thumb finding your clit with ease and expertise. 
“Wettest pussy I've ever touched.” You can tell he's a little lost in the heat of the moment but it's okay. So are you. 
Fuck. 
It's been way too long since someone else touched you this way, so you all but melt at the circles he draws on your clit. He paid close attention before, because he's touching you just the way you like it. 
“That feels so good…” 
“Yeah?” he asks, dark eyes finding yours before a particular stroke forces you to close them. And then he gathers enough slick to insert his ring finger inside and you can't help the moan that slips past your lips. 
You lift your hand to cover your mouth, but Mingi clicks his tongue in feign disappointment “I want to hear if I'm making you feel good, love. Don't hold back on me just because this is unconventional.” 
The worries die altogether with that. 
And now that you have free reign to stop containing yourself, you don't know how to stop. 
It's not long before his index joins his other finger but he doesn't go for it right away. He fucks you slowly, allowing you to get used to the unfamiliar stretch of his way longer, way thicker digits until they slide in and out with little effort. 
His pace picks up after what feels like ages and your hand fists his shirt for the second time tonight, nodding and moaning in encouragement. 
“Deeper,” you instruct “curl them upwards and go deeper, you'll feel it then.” 
He obeys immediately, his chest heaving and his mouth parting in delight when he finds it. The pad of his finger presses down on it tentatively and your grasp on his shirt hardens.
“Is that it?” you nod and he does it again, which earns another moan “What do I do now?” 
Before you completely get lost in the feeling, you decide to drop the step by step bullshit aside and give him the full instruction in hopes that he'll remember it all without fucking up: “What works for me is pressing… Fuck, yeah, just like that a-and then…” you take deep breath “Just a little harder… Yeah, then rub it in a circular motion while maintaining that same pressure… Fuck, Mingi!” 
He's a little too good at following instructions, because he touches you like he's been doing this forever and soon you feel the familiar swell, the usual buildup of it all and he's taking you over the age like it's nothing. 
You forget how to speak, you forget how to tell him what he needs to do next and so, when you finally explode, you take his wrist and place his two fingers over your clit. 
When you move them side by side, he lets out a fascinated giggle but knows exactly what to do. 
A second later, your release is coating your thighs and the towels underneath you and you don't register anything else because your ears are ringing. 
Did you lose consciousness for a second? It feels like you did. 
That was the best fucking orgasm you've ever felt in your entire life. 
And when you come back down, you only register the sound of your breathing and plump lips kissing your face, his fingers stopping their pace once he realizes you're done with it. 
Opening your eyes, you stare at your popcorn ceiling for a second. Then, you look at Mingi who's already staring at you with a what the fuck just happened expression. 
It makes you laugh. Softly at the beginning, post-orgasm bliss takes over but then Mingi laughs too and your whole chest swells with inexplicable pride. 
You don't think twice before kissing him again. When you realize you did it, you pull back and blink at him like he didn't make you see stars three seconds ago. 
“That was…” his eyes do the thing he usually does. You never notice it until now, but he scans your face so frequently you've grown used to it, but now… It feels different. His teeth nip his bottom lip and he shakes his head before speaking “Come here, love.” 
And then he's kissing you again, slow, intimate, beyond the stupid lesson you just taught him. 
But you don't mind it one bit. 
You sit up, getting on your knees on the bed and basically forcing him to do the same. Ignoring the gross sensation of the wet towel underneath you, you pull him further into you until his chest presses against yours, until his hands roam your body and settle on your waist, securing the embrace. 
This time, when you pull away, there's this whole unspoken new thing between you. 
“That was…?” you press, smiling a bit, pulling both you and him back to reality. 
Right now, with you half naked and his hard-on pressing on your belly, it's not the time to discuss your feelings. 
“Possibly the coolest thing I've seen,” he starts, giggling when you roll your eyes “and the hottest thing I've seen, too,” you shrug, dismissing his stare because it's making you feel hot all over your body, again “and I'm really, really grateful you said yes, love.” 
The soft tone he uses to say the last bit relaxes you and you nod, deciding it's not the time to tell him you never even came like that on your own. 
Instead, you decide to grasp this intimate moment and extend it as much as you can. You can see Mingi is not expecting it when you reach his sweatpants and let your shaky thumb trace the outline of his cock. 
Closing his eyes, he lets out a pleased sigh before he grabs you by the back of your neck and rests his forehead against yours. 
“This is supposed to be purely educational, Y/N” 
“Is that what you want it to be?” you softly ask, pulling your hand away but then his hips buck and chase after your touch, making you smile despite the emotions swelling in your chest “Let me help you… Please…” 
“Fuck, don't beg me, love.” 
“Don't make me beg, then.” 
What the fuck are you even doing? 
“Y/N, I—” he stops suddenly and you're too lost in the moment to notice why. 
But then the sound of keys and a door closing downstairs scares the fuck out of you and you push Mingi away without thinking it through. 
He lands with a thud on your bedroom floor, next to your discarded clothes. 
“What the fuck, Y/N?” he whispers-shouts, both shocked and offended, but you're getting off your bed and picking up your clothes and the soaked towels so you don't really care about his feelings right now. 
“Bathroom. Now.” 
You're so blessed for having your bedroom right next to the upstairs bathroom. And so blessed that it is your bathroom and you don't have to share it. You’ll get on your knees and thank your gods afterwards, but right now you can only think one thing.
Don't get caught. 
Lord knows you'll never hear the end of it if Mingi walks out of here with a hard-on. Your dad will kill him, your mom will cheer because she loves the idea of you and Mingi together and you'll probably pack your bags and move away if it happens. 
When you lock the door behind you and make a quick show of putting your underwear and pants back on, you hear Mingi chuckle. 
“We can always tell them we're having a sleepover, Y/N, you didn't have to karate kick me off the damn bed!” 
“Hush!” But he just keeps giggling at your very obvious flustered state.
You're about to rip him a new one when he takes two strides, backs you against the bathroom sink, and catches your lips in a quick, sweet kiss and all your worries dissolve just like that. 
“Guess they didn't go for drinks after all..” 
“You think?” cocking your head to side, the smile on your lips can't be fought at this point. 
He returns it and leans in for another kiss, longer this time and you sigh against his mouth before pulling away because you really, really shouldn't be doing this right now. 
You hear your mother calling your name and then footsteps up the stairs. A murmured she must be sleeping and a hum from your father before they pass the bathroom door. You truly only relax when you hear their door closing at the end of the hallway. 
“Okay, we're safe now.” 
“When were we ever not safe?” 
“When I was half naked on my bed, Mingi!” 
He shakes his head with a smile and takes a step back. 
You clear your throat. 
“I really did want to help you out but—” 
“Raincheck?” he asks and at you hesitation to say yes, he continues “If you want to. If you don't, it's okay. We… We'll figure it out, okay?” 
“Okay.” 
He smiles again “Good, uh…” 
Mingi seems unsure on what to do next. Feeling the same, you decide the best thing to do is to get him out of here. 
Opening the bathroom door, you carefully peek into the hallway, taking his hand in yours and beckoning him to follow you down the stairs, trying to make as little noise as possible. 
“Shit, your shoes…” you whisper. 
“I don't think they noticed if they didn't barge into the bedroom to check on us like they usually do, love.” He returns, in the same tone. 
That does nothing to ease your mind, but he makes sure to put them on quickly and then grabs your shoulders, shaking you in a teasing manner. 
“Quit worrying, Y/N. I can feel you thinking.” 
Of course he does. There's no one, in this world, that knows you better than him. 
It makes your heart flutter and it shouldn't. But you're getting on your tippy toes and stealing a parting kiss before you think about it too much. 
It's irresponsible for you to do so, but Mingi grabs your waist and extends the duration of the kiss and suddenly you don't give a fuck about your parents or anyone else finding out about this… shift in your dynamic. 
“See you tomorrow?” he asks against your lips and you nod. 
“See you tomorrow.” 
And with that, he leaves. 
You lock the door and practically run to your room after. 
What the fuck have you done?
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If you read all the way down here: THANK YOU SO MUCH. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated and since it’s an open ending (sort of), let me know if you want a second part! 
© jensthwa, 2024.
4K notes · View notes
shotmrmiller · 9 months ago
Text
pornstar au
f!reader x simon 'ghost' riley
3.7k words (sorry)
tw: teacher-student relationship but it's just a scene for porn. explicit. horrifyingly so.
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You burst into the classroom and stride purposefully towards your professor, who is seated in his leather chair, engrossed in his work. Impatiently tapping your foot, you waited for him to finish marking essays. However, after 5 minutes, your patience with this unbearable man ran out.
"Professor."
He hums, a deep sound coming from the back of his throat yet doesn't look up from what he's doing. A real piece of work, he is. How fucking aggravating.
"Professor Riley," your voice takes an irreverent tone.
The hand that had been writing non-stop comes to a sudden pause, and he finally directs his attention to you. Meeting your gaze, his dark eyes are hooded, his lips set in a firm line. His job is to literally deal with students, yet he dares to look annoyed.
"Are you gonna tell me what's wrong 'r am I gonna have to learn how to read minds?" he states.
Taking in a calming breath, you clench the crumpled essay in your hand. "Can you explain to me why you failed me on this? I did exactly as you asked!"
He must know precisely what you're talking about because he simply turns back to the papers on his desk.
"Tha's your problem. You did exactly as I asked, with no thought behind it. Just wrote the bare minimum, if you can even call it writin'. It's copy-paste," Professor Riley sets the pen down and leans back in the chair.
"I need ya to use tha' head o' yours when in this class. Otherwise, you'll fail the rest o' your classes too."
Fucking hell.
Professor Riley shifts in his seat, seemingly done with the conversation, and finishes, "If tha's all."
Shit. Your pause is too long, and the director calls it. Fuck.
"I'm really sorry, Ghost, I didn't mean-" Your words of apology dissolve into thin air as his strong hand finds its place on your hip— giving it a gentle, but firm squeeze.
"S'all righ', love. Mistakes happen. Matter fact," his eyes drift from you to behind you to beckon someone with two fingers. "C'mere, you."
It's the set assistant, and he's brought the script with him. Ghost swiftly stops him from handing it to you, instead pushing it onto the assistant's chest. "Won't be needin' tha', thanks. Tell the director tha' we'll be ad-libin'. Now sod off."
The assistant follows his command in haste, scurrying off to follow Ghost's instructions.
"Hey," he murmurs. Your eyes meet his, feeling the intensity of it quickens your heartbeat. "Say whatever you like, just remember to follow the storyline, alright?"
Follow the storyline. In porn. The irony isn't lost on you, but you bite the side of your gummy cheek to keep from laughing. "Yes, sir."
He drops his hand from where he held you slowly, seemingly almost reluctant to let go. "Ready?" Ghost's thin lips curl into a smirk when you nod at his question. "Good girl."
Your fingers tightly grip the flimsy material of your uniform skirt at his praise, and warmth pools in your lower belly.
His good girl.
A high-pitched voice cuts through your thoughts, signaling the restart of the shooting. You exhale a long breath, unclenching your hands in the process.
Action.
"If tha' all." Ghost reaches for his pen when you frantically grab onto his Oxford sleeve.
"Wait, Professor, please! I can't," you stammer, "I cannot fail this class! My parents would kill me if I studied abroad only to flunk. The tuition—"
His tone is authoritative as he abruptly cuts off your lengthy excuse. "Enough. Nothing can change the mark I've given you."
Your ears pricked up at his wording, and the corners of your lips pulled up into a roguish smile. "No?" Ghost stills before turning to face you, countenance blank. "Nothing at all, Professor?" With a coy tilt of your head, your wide, doe-like eyes meet his as your fingertips trace an alluring path from his forearm down to his knuckles.
"I really can't convince you in any way to change that grade for me?" You lean on the edge of his wooden desk— skirt so short it doesn't even graze the surface of it— and lightly curl your hand around his pointer finger. "It can be our little secret, Professor Riley," you purr.
Ghost lifts a single brow, and settles back into his seat, arms crossed over his barrel chest as his eyes travel from your feet to your exposed cleavage, fixating on the soft skin peeking out from your uniform top.
"Please?" his hushed voice reverberates inside your skull. "I promise to be a good girl."
That catches his attention, eyes flashing to yours, the fire behind them hot— you hope it burns you.
"'Sat, right? Tha' changes things now, doesn't it?" Ghost rolls his chair back, away from his desk, and spreads his thick legs apart in invitation, arms resting on the rests— the dictionary definition of casual. "Convince me then, pet."
"Yes, sir." Sauntering to stand in between his legs, you swallow thickly— the bulge in his groin was quite frankly, intimidating. You've had large, but this was in a league of its own.
"You gonna do it from up there? I know I'm bigger than average but not tha' big." A huff escapes from your lips. A whole comedian.
Knees pressed into the cold, tile floor, you expertly undo the button of his trousers and with his help, pulled them down along with his pants— just enough for his cock to spring free.
Bloody fucking hell.
His cock is monstrous. It rested against his belly, heavy and thick. The pink tip slightly peeking from under his foreskin. There was a groomed thatch of coarse hair at the base, and his balls were also heavy— one hanging lower than the other.
Ghost leans forward and cradles the underside of your jaw with one large hand, fingers gently caressing the delicate skin of your cheek, while the other pumps his rigid cock in anticipation. "Not scared, are ya?" His grin was wicked. "I promise it don't bite."
Grabbing his wrist, you maneuver his hand so that his thumb now rests on your soft lips. "Might not, but I do, Professor." And catch the tip of his finger between your blunt teeth, the subtle sting of it making him hiss.
"Perfect, pretty girl," he says, almost inaudible. His words of praise are for you alone— not for the scene, nor the camera. You peer up at him through your lashes, mewling softly at the expression on his face.
His brow was set, hooded eyes sultry, a rosy hue across his cheeks and nose, and lips parted as he panted quietly.
Delicious.
Ghost then pushes his thumb further into your slick mouth and hooks it behind your bottom teeth, delicately pulling you closer to him as he tips his head down— taking his thumb out with a pop. His warm breath fans across your face as he moves closer until his lips connect with yours. He slid his tongue into your mouth, tasting of frosty mint and his own unique taste.
Your hands come up, fingers digging into the meat of his thighs when he grasps your wrist and moves it to the focal point of his desire— his breath hitching when you give his cock a firm squeeze. Ghost bites your bottom lip before breaking away, a guttural noise escaping him when you begin to stroke him. "Tighten your hand around—" he breaks off, moaning against your kiss-swollen lips when you comply.
He threads his fingers through your hair that sits at the base of your skull, curling them into a fist and tugging back— craning your neck, hair pulled taut.
"So obedient. Jus' f'me, love?" you hum cheekily, a mischievous grin spreading across your face.
"Would you hold it against me if I said no?" he chuckles under his breath, the grip on your hair tightening marginally.
"I'd say tha' you're lyin'." He sucks in a breath when you press down lightly onto his slit with your thumb. "Cheeky."
He loosens the hold he has on you, feeling your scalp prickle with tender relief, and relaxes back into the chair. "All yours, sweetheart."
That light wasn't getting any greener, so with a grunt, you shifted your weight, ignoring your aching knees, and wrapped your lips around his cock.
Barely.
The salty bite of his arousal and musk spread on your tongue as you took him in deep, stilling once he hit the back of your throat.
"Fuck, look at me."
Slightly tipping your head back, you do as he says, your throat closing around him as he slips in even further.
"Fuckfuckfuck," a hiss, "such a hot little mouth, just swallowin' me righ' up." Your lungs burn with the lack of oxygen, forcing you to pull back to gasp for air. Ghost squeezes himself at the base and taps your cheek with his saliva-coated length.
"A dirty slag like you, jus' takin' me like a professional. Tha' what you are? A professional cock sucker, love?" he taunts. Your pussy clenches when he calls you a slag, pressing your thighs together in the hope of some friction; Something to alleviate the throbbing ache in between your legs.
Ghost with eyes as keen as ever, notices. Damn.
"Oh? Little harlot likes to get degraded, does she? Reminded of her place? How I'd love to teach you exactly where you belong, but tha' wouldn't be you convincin' me to change your bad grade, now would it?"
His cock taps on your swollen lips. "Another time, hm? Now open. Make me see reason."
Ghost's wish is your command. With enthusiasm, you take him in your mouth, slowly bobbing your head, place a hand right under your lips, and twist with every push and pull.
It's sloppy, spit covering your hand, dripping down to his balls. Your jaw aches, a burning pressure a little under your ear, but what gives you the strength to continue is the loud moans coming from Ghost. He holds nothing back, his hand engulfing the crown of your head while he gently pushes you down. A performer down to his very bones.
You were about to pause the recording, the pain in your mandible and knees almost becoming too much when he suddenly pulled you off of him.
"Wha—?" Ghost seizes you by the upper arms, forcibly bringing you to your feet, disregarding your pained whimper, and places you on the sturdy desk.
He's curling his fingers into the waistband of your frilly knickers, slipping them down your legs and pocketing them. There's a quiet popping sound when he bends his knees, going eye level with your bare cunt.
In a hushed tone, you say, "This isn't part of the scene." Ghost drags his eyes from your glistening slit to your face, gaze suffocating, smothering the very air in your lungs.
"Just a taste, love." He curls one hand under your thigh, lifting it to perch it on the edge of the desk, the other he throws over his strong shoulder. The only sound in the room is your soft moans as he expertly slides his warm tongue through your slick folds, sending waves of pleasure through your body.
By god does he eat pussy like it's his job. Peering down at him, you can't stop the sounds that spill from your mouth when his tongue visibly splits your pussy lips open, flicking at your clit, lapping up your arousal like it is honey. You take hold of his short hair, tugging at the strands as each swirl of his talented tongue pushes you closer to your peak.
His eyes cut to yours when he presses a thick finger into you, drinking in your desperate expression as you keen, begging for more, blabbering about it being so good, yet not enough, please god more.
Ghost curls his finger, only taking a second to find your sweet spot, and pushes— bursts of light flashing in your peripheral vision. You begin to rock your hips unconsciously, chasing your ecstasy, and Ghost simply flattens his tongue, letting you grind against it.
You teeter on the edge of bliss, a tightening in your stomach, right under where his finger is. Shaky exhales leave you, the leg that's on the desk visibly trembling from the tension that threatens to snap you in half.
He presses a kiss to your sodden pussy, and croons, "Gonna come f'me?" You jerkily nod.
"Yes fuck yes, I'm gonna come for you, just for you, Professor Riley pleaseee—" your blathering turns into a high-pitched squeal as he lightly sucks on your pearl, hips lifting off the desk as a blinding orgasm crashes into you, pleasure bursting through your very core, cunt pulsating with every wave of ecstasy around Ghost's finger.
He wastes no time in rising to his feet and slotting his mouth over yours, the taste of your slick strong, potent on his tongue. Ghost breaks away, his breath smelling of your desire. "Exquisite, like ambrosia. Addicting."
Ghost's hand cups your sensitive quim and whispers, "Think you can take me? Tha' orgasm took a lot outta ya."
Silly question. "I'm a big girl, Ghost. I can take it."
He licks the front of his teeth and glances down to where his hand rests. "Course you can, love. Turn around f'me."
Your movements are sluggish as you turn over onto your stomach, rising to the tip of your toes as you present yourself to him.
Ghost grabs the sides of your waist, and flips your skirt up, tucking the edge into the waistband of it. His hands palm your cheeks, thumbs digging into the meat of your ass to spread you open, completely exposed to him.
"Fuck me if tha' isn't the prettiest sight I've ever had the pleasure of seein'." He doesn't acknowledge your scoff as he spreads your hands out, placing them flat on the table— enveloping your hand with his own, intertwining his fingers with yours.
His leans over your semi-prone body, cock gently prodding at your entrance, gliding easily through your folds. "Ready?"
Arching your back, his tip slips inside, just barely. That's your answer.
You can hear the smarmy grin that spreads on his face, and wanted to snark back but you're rendered mute when he pushes in. Your eyes cross at the stretch of his cock, a feeling so sublime you know that no one will ever be able to duplicate. Your fingers tighten around his as you mewl when he bottoms out, hips flush against your arse.
Ghost sucks in a breath through his teeth when you shift your weight, and whatever you did has him sliding in deeper— turning his hiss into a guttural groan. "Fuck, you have no fuckin' idea how good you feel."
Probably not, but you have every idea how good he feels.
"You okay, love? Took me so well like you were made jus' f'me. So warm and soft, tight like a vice around my cock. Pretty pussy split wide open, stuffed full of me." He speaks unfettered filth to you, dripping over your ears like molasses, thick and syrupy. Your head feels heavy on your shoulders— dizzy, drunk on his scent, his cock that's got you tearing at the seams.
Then he begins to move, pulling out until an inch remains inside, and pushing in until he's nudging the plug of your womb, feeling a deep pinch under your navel.
This is what it's like to get fucked by Ghost. The one everyone covets after, hoping he drags down the very heavens with his bare hands and lays it at their feet. And here he is, fucking you. A newbie, a fresh face no one knows yet, a name that'll probably never grace the front page.
You doubt his motives are altruistic, but goddamn does it not matter; Not with the way he's carving a space inside of you that only he will ever fit in, or the way he's curling his free hand around your neck, thumb pressed right over your racing pulse.
He lowers himself until his strong chest is to your back, his teeth nipping the tip of your ear. "The moment I saw you gettin' fucked by Johnny, I knew I had t'have ya." Your walls clamp down on him involuntarily, wrenching a pained noise from him. "Fuckin' hell, I knew this pussy would be magical."
Ghost's lips skim over the shell of your ear before pressing a chaste kiss on it. "Lemme hear how good I make ya feel, pet. Don't hold back on me now." He grinds into your arse, going in so deep that it feels like he's trying to push past the entrance of your womb. "S'alrigh'. I'll jus' have t'pull 'em outta ya."
He releases you, placing both hands flat on the desk, on either side of your shoulders. "Take em for myself, make 'em mine." Straightening all the way, he digs his fingers into the soft flesh of your waist.
"What a view. Perfection." He rolls his hips, rhythm languid, loud squelching noises coming from where he fills you. "Drippin' cream all over my cock, pet. Can't tell me this isn't 'cause of me."
How the fuck can he still talk? How is he coherent? Why isn't his brain turned into mush like yours is?
"Fuckin' ya speechless, am I? Oh, sweetheart, but I'm barely gettin' started." Ghost slowly pulls out, and curls his hand around your shoulder, nudging you to turn over. "On your back, now."
You lazily flip over, hair sticking to your sweat-slick skin, and he hooks his arms underneath your legs and drags you to the edge until your arse hangs from it. "I wanna see that pretty face when you come." He wastes no time in sheathing himself back inside your swollen channel, walls fluttering at the invasion.
Ghost hooks one leg over his shoulder to lean forward, pinning you to the desk with his upper body, and maneuvers your other to wrap around his wide waist. "That cock drunk look on your face makes my balls tighten, what a fuckin' expression you've got, christ," he growls. "Knowin' I put it there makes it all the better."
He gives you a chaste kiss on the lips and gives you a smile that is all teeth. "Now let's make you sing."
Grunting, he straightens. plants his feet firmly, stance wide, and begins to fuck you. The videos of the famed Ghost you saw are nothing, nothing, in comparison to real life. His full weight is behind every spine-jarring thrust, it makes your teeth clack, it rattles your brain inside your skull. He does it so perfectly because at no point do you feel any discomfort, not even a twinge. It's all a pleasure that blazes, an all-encompassing heat that threatens to swallow you whole, burn you from the inside out.
His cock punches the breath out of your lungs, wails clawing out of your throat, and it's so good, so fucking good— god, maybe he is god, you don't know, everything is so blurry, hazy—
All senses focus on the sudden touch between your legs, an expert thumb drawing tight circles on your slippery clit and there's no way you're going to survive this—
"There she is, the girl I saw in the video. Tha's an expression I see in myfuckin' sleep. Give me what's mine, pet. Let me feel you, cream all over my cock."
He's relentless in his pursuit of your climax, a wave of pleasure so intense, it just might drag you out to sea, drowning you.
Ghost, the fucking god of sex, stops his ministrations to spit on your pussy. Spit. From his full height, a glob of warm saliva drops to your mons, and he smears it with his fingers over your pussy lips before rubbing your clit. His thrusts slow in pace, turning into a firm snap of his hips, making sure you feel every ridge of his cock, and in less than a minute, your spine arches off the desk.
Your mouth opens into a silent scream, lids snapping shut as you break underneath him, warmth gushing from where he's continuously sinking into you, a steady, slow rhythm that never ends.
"Came all over me, didn't ya? Bet you didn't know you could even do tha'."
You didn't.
"Jus' for tha', I'm gonna give you somethin' in return, yeah? A little reward for bein' so good," he praises.
Your tongue is heavy in your mouth, swollen and thick, and unconsciousness creeps at the very edges of your mind.
All you can do is lie there and take it, his sloppy thrusts, his harsh panting until he moans, "'m close, so fuckin' close," and with whatever remnants of strength you have left, you use to squeeze him tightly— unwilling to let go because his come is yours now, you've earned it.
"Come in me, Ghost," you whimper.
That does it. He slams his hands on either side of your head and borderline roars out his release, cock twitching inside of your used cunt, filling you with his spend.
Cut.
Ghost's breathing is labored, a harsh pant that fans over your overheated skin, damp with sweat.
His brows are furrowed, his eyes squeezed shut, gulping in air and shivering in the aftershock of his climax.
To be fucked by Ghost is to see the Garden of Eden behind your eyelids.
Now you understand. You understand why he has no equal. He is unparalleled.
Jesus Christ, you're fucked. So, so fucked.
He slowly opens his eyes and peers down at you with a wolfish grin.
"Perfection."
--
A week later, your video with Ghost is the most viewed on the entire website. Not one other video even scratches the bottom of where your video sits.
Ghost truly is the king.
Curiously enough, your friend is the one who lets you know that Mr. life-altering cock himself never kisses during work. Not once in any video of his has he ever kissed, apart from a short pressing of lips to skin.
Your heart traitorously flutters at the thought of it meaning something more. Catching feelings when you get fucked for a living is not the move. But there's no stopping it from misbehaving, especially when you receive another script, to make another video with Ghost.
Another. one.
Fuck. Fuck!!
You cannot wait.
@mishaglass
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