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lululawrence · 6 years

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lululawrence’s May 2018 Fic List

Click here for previous months’ fic lists

And we’re back for another month of reading! I didn’t do a lot of writing this month, but I read a LOT so this list is long! So buckle up, and let’s look back on the amazing fics I read this month! (There’s a lot of Tomlinshaw, but I promise there’s Larry too! Keep reading and don’t give up on me pls hehe)

but tonight (you’re on my mind) by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 There’s a lot of Tomlinshaw on this list this month because I was wanting some awesome banter and high angst due to lack of communication and who does that better than Tomlinshaw? ANYWAY, this fic was almost too much for me hahahaha! Anitra has a way of writing that makes you feel every bit of pain and the anticipation building up to where I knew it was going was killing me, but DAMN was the resolution of it all amazing! If Tomlinshaw is your thing, defo give this one a try.

Know You Know You Got It Bad by @taggiecb / taggiecb This one had me cackling but also horrified at the amount of WOW THAT TOTALLY CAME OUT WRONG and misunderstandings, and that is exactly what made this such a fantastic ride. Another fab Tomlinshaw to read, should that be your thing!

Do You Smile To Tempt A Lover by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 A MUSEUM AU WHERE NICK PAYS HOMAGE TO PAINTINGS OF MAGGIE SMITH AND JUDI DENCH AFTER OGGLING LOUIS? Yes please. Featuring matchmaker Zayn. AND Louis secretly writes erotica during his lunch breaks? This fic is sooooo fun. A defo Tomlinshaw read.

A Royal Wedding by @reminiscingintherain / reminiscingintherain This short ditty is SO CUTE!!! A short and sweet Larry meet-cute surrounding the royal wedding. It is the best little fic snack to leave you feeling good!

We Used To Wait by @magicalrocketships / sunsetmog I read this as I was on my period and started it around 1 am. Both of these life decisions I do not recommend, because I ended up just shoving a tissue between my face and my pillow so I could keep reading without creating a puddle on my pillow as Nick freaked out in the hospital over Louis possibly not surviving. All the same, the fact I kept reading despite all of this should be one of the highest recommendations. This fic destroyed me and put me back together again in all of the best ways. A Tomlinshaw must read.

Somebody Hurt You (I Know A Place) by @writsgrimmyblog / writcraft I...well looking back on this I thought this fic was a lot shorter than it actually is because I devoured it so fast and it reads so well I had no idea it was 20k. ha! So, that being said: Tomlinshaw featuring amnesia. There’s a few of these coming because I NEEDED IT sorry not sorry. The structure of the fic was beautiful too!

loose lips sink ship all the damn time (not this time) by @mediawhorefics / MediaWhore THIS FIC OMGOSHHHHHHHH I loved it. Gosh I loved it. Secret relationship AGAIN, forced outing, exes to lovers, ALL THE EMOTIONS! The way Nick was written too just had me in LOVE. Sigh. Another fab Tomlinshaw with some incredible structuring that allows you to watch the relationship begin and fall apart all while seeing them come back together again. (I promise, there’s more Larry coming, please don’t give up on me lol)

The Disgruntled Novelist's Bodacious Pornographer (or, that time Nick and Louis were rival romance writers) by aliferuined This fic had me laughing so hard on my porch while my son played with bubbles he actually climbed on my lap to see if I was watching a funny video. I was crying and wheezing. This was just... the most hilarious. Tomlinshaw, again hehe

wait for me to come home by carissima TOMLINSHAW TIME TRAVEL!!! And it’s done in such a beautiful way! It completely satisfies all desires for knowing what happens where and I just LOVE it!

Once every day your life starts again by blackmustache This fic also features Tomlinshaw amnesia (see a theme for me? lol) and soccer aid and secret relationships and Jay helping them find each other again, which is lovely!

Nobody compares to you by @headband-husbands / fallenflowercrowns (meggiewrites) Larry returns! haha It’s all Larry from here on out on the list, promise :) Tumblr AU! Canon Compliant! Best Friends to Lovers! What more could you want in a fic? I honestly don’t know, which obviously means I loved this one lolll

Seeing Blind by @sugarbabyomega / zedi BLIND ALPHA LOUIS, SAUCY OMEGA HARRY! Gosh this fic just. WOW. It flips between POVs and gives such a full and lovely feel for the entire thing. Involving surprise early heats! No Strings Attached hook ups that turn into Feelings! What could go wrong?? hehehe A new favorite A/B/O for me!

Stay Close, Hold Steady by @jaerie / jaerie THIS FIC FAM! It is one of my fic babies that I didn’t write. hahaha My random ramblings to Jenna as I drove in the car back in March might have helped form this amazing fic and I love it so much. “Brothers” A/B/O Larry fic involving finding your lost family, gender presentation, and so much more. Read while listening to The Tide. It’s a good choice. Promise.

Among Friends by @theficwritersblock / secretswekeepxx This fic, y’all. I’d never seen the film it was based on, so I was a bit wary going into it but IT WAS SO GOOD! SOOOO GOOOOOD! Be prepared for the pain, the ridiculousness, stupid boys, and love conquering all. Duh.

And I Will Steady Your Hand by @icanhazzalou / kiwikero Another great A/B/O fic! Keri pulls out all the stops with late presentation support group amazingness and the changes and confusion/frustration that come with them, especially at a time of life where it feels like EVERYTHING is changing. It’s such a great fic. Defo read it.

All That You Are by @iamasphodelknox / asphodelknox Y’ALL. This fic. It’s historical fiction at it’s finest. WWII soldier OT5 and Shawn friendship and period typical homophobia and dreams and relying on each other and love and I keep talking and it’s just not enough. All the love for this fic. It is art and beauty and wow. Defo read it.

Getting Naked on Camera (NOT CLICKBAIT) by @velvetnoodle / velvetnoodle (goldfishsunglasses) This little thing had me giggling. A great, light little fic to help you smile on a hard day!

Bijou by @fullonlarrie / FullOnLarrie Lauren did such amazing things with this! Micropenises. Who knew? I didn’t until now, but I can’t wait for the other fics that will eventually be a part of this!

my favourite colour is you by @velvetnoodle / velvetnoodle (goldfishsunglasses) SO CUTE. MUCH CUTE. ALL THE CUTE. It’s so soft and lovely and a happy place to escape.

Slow Hands (Slow Days) by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry This fic, y’all. Farmer Harry, Vet Louis. Softness. Country living. Good friends. It feels so lovely and yet I couldn’t stop giggling at the slow hands aspect of it. haha Defo recommend reading this to understand what slow hands has to do with any of this.

Your Shadow Running Round by @harrystanslouis / harrystanslouis This fic is lovely! So lovely! Stupid boys who made stupid decisions and have to fix things are a soft spot for me, and that is definitely featured in this fic.

Run With Your Mind by @larryandgaystuff / larryandgaystuff (cnd8544) Another great story with such a great connection to the song it was written for! Full of stupid boys with feelings they aren’t talking about even though they really should. Maybe that was this month’s theme. Next month’s should be communication. HAH!

Took Me by Surprise by @becomeawendybird / QuickedWeen This is a fic that Molly teased me with the idea for AGES ago and when it finally came to fruition I was not disappointed! Such an amazing read and a fic all around! The kid aspect was so believable and wonderful and just a lovely added bonus to the entire thing.

All My Friends Are Here by abrighteryellow This was the cutest fic! Pub quiz hosted by Harry becomes more than just a little appealing to Louis, despite the fact he doesn’t want it to be. A short little meet-cute to make you smile!

Mars Needs Irishmen by @fakedeepplantjerker / kassio Listen. This is a fic where the relationship tagged is Niall and Space. It’s got a great narrative structure and the story is so lovely! I really enjoyed it. So fulfilling and a great read!

maybe by @gaycousinlarry / momentofclarity This story!!! Two little nerdy boys who don’t think they have a chance with the other falling for each other anyway? Yes please. A beautifully fulfiling story considering how few words there are!

Beat the Odds Together by @ireallysawanangel / crimsontheory Cute! That’s all I can really say. It was so cute! A short little thing with surprising amounts of emotion packed in.

walk down our aisles first by @jumperlouis / musketrois (B_kate) THIS. WAS. SO. SWEET. I keep saying that, but these short fics for the short fic fest gave me life when I was dealing with stress from my mom’s big open heart surgery and the aftermath of that. This was was particularly lovely as a meet cute with a slight twist to it that I really enjoyed.

Redwood Seedlings Prefer Full Sunlight by @polkadotsvstripes / polka_stripes Girl!Direction short fic featuring a meet-cute! I really enjoyed this one too. A fun quick read that also makes you hope they make it work hehe

Sea of Love by @kinglouisxxviii / theweightofmywords Mermaids and Princes! What more could you ask for?

If Anyone Knew by @marastarfar / StarFar Listen. This was one of the first A/B/O fics I ever read, and it was a WIP. A WIP I thought had been abandoned but then the amazing Mara almost made me cry by completing it! This fic is so great. Please be warned though, there are a LOT of triggers and it very much is a dark!fic in many ways, so be cautious before jumping in. Worth it if you can handle it, though! A great read, as StarFar’s stuff always is.

tell me what you need by @disgruntledkittenface / disgruntledkittenface This fic!!! I laughed hard enough to have my husband pause his movie and take out his headphones to ask me what in the world was going on lollll The pacing of this fic! It had me gasping and having to pause reading on numerous occasions so I could see clearly enough to keep reading. Definitely up there as one of the funniest fics I’ve ever read.

Not yet a breach, but an expansion by @kinglouisxxviii / theweightofmywords GOSH THIS FIC! Heartwrenching and beautiful and so powerful in so few words! How?!?! I have no idea. Gorgeous and an amazing twist on soulmates.

when i'm pipe and slippers and rocking chair by nightwideopen Whoops. I lied. Another Tomlinshaw. Whatcha gonna do? This was such a cute little thing, though. Such a fun little established relationship fic hehe

head over feet by @kinglouisxxviii / theweightofmywords This fic was so good I went yelling in my GCs until I could find someone who know the tumblr associated with this AO3 and then I immediately ran and began screaming at Caryn, okay? Please read it. Love yourself. Read this fic.

Wish You Were Here by @undersummerstars / alittlewicked SELKIE HARRYYYYYYY!!! I need all the selkie Harry fics. Amazing. This one absolutely did not disappoint. I loved it and it made me crave more.

Surrender to Seduction by @laynefaire / Layne Faire (HisDarlin) Layne’s tag “fast and loose with canon” had me giggling but those giggles stopped as I read this fic because the way she writes has such power and draw I was immediately in the story. A great read!

Until You Use Me Up by @fullonlarrie / FullOnLarrie OKAY LISTEN. Before I knew this was Lauren’s I read it and was just like FANNING MYSELF. It was so hot and so well done and amazing. It was just...amazing.

AND THAT, in reverse chronological order (because apparently that’s how I roll today), is a list of the fics I read and loved this month! Thank you to all of the amazing writers who shared your amazing works with us! You provided me with so much help in difficult days and entertainment.

Please spread love to the fandom writers and leave them comments and kudos on their fics! I’ll be back next month with what will likely be a much shorter list lollll

#mine #my fic rec #fic rec #fic writer appreciation #28th appreciation #fic list #may 2018 fic list

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toyahinterviews · 3 years

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TOYAH ON MEMORY LANE 80's WITH HAYLEY PALMER 25.7.2020

HAYLEY: Hello and welcome to the Memory Lane 80’s show on Spotlight TV. I'm Hayley Palmer. Really good to have you here with me today. Great news! We have got more 80's pop royalty with us today. Oh yes! It’s Toyah Willcox and here is what happened when I caught up with her. Toyah! It’s fantastic to have you on the show! TOYAH: Hello, Hayley is so lovely to see you! HAYLEY: Aww, you too! You look lovely and bright and colourful today TOYAH: Well, I found it really important during lockdown and even in semi out of lockdown to dress up. HAYLEY: Yes, you're right. Absolutely. TOYAH: I don't think I've even had one pyjama day. Just literally I am going to get up and I'm going to wear my favourite clothes and I'm going to act as if the world is as normal

HAYLEY: Oh, I love this! You'll be so ashamed to me. I've had a couple of pyjama days ... eating Doritos. Don't judge me (they both laugh) But anyway, I know you been really busy in lockdown, haven't you? TOYAH: This is a very weird and I hope not a distasteful thing to say, but lockdown has being really OK for me and my husband. We’re both writers, so I've done about five children's books, which have just kind of silly nonsense, rhymes, things which I've illustrated. I'm doing a solo album and I get about 50 requests a day from people who just need geeing up and I have no problem with geeing people up. I really love doing it, so it's been very busy and it's helped me realise that I'm not ready to go back to gigs where I have to share the dressing room with my band. There's no toilet backstage and the stage is sticky with beer. I've realised no! I'm going to go back into art centres and theatres and festivals! It's really helped me sort myself out.

HAYLEY: Brilliant! I've also been watching your YouTube channel as well. It's "Toyah At Home", isn't it? TOYAH: Yes. "Toyah At Home" every Saturday, which brings my music to the fans and then on Sunday what I started as a thing to keep my husband Robert Fripp - oh got my glasses on! I’m going take them off ... HAYLEY: No, I like it. I like it! TOYAH: Do you like it, shall I keep them on? HAYLEY: Yeah! TOYAH: This is a first! ... To keep my husband, Robert Fripp, who's a world acclaimed guitarist, King Crimson, played with Bowie on “Heroes” and “Scary Monsters” ... to keep him engaged with the outside world. We've been doing quite ridiculous dance videos which he enjoyed. HAYLEY: They’re not ridiculous, they’re brilliant! I've seen them TOYAH: Good good. So that's all on Toyah official Facebook (NB She means Youtube) and it's been very, very rewarding for all of us.

HAYLEY: Just fabulous. We're going play out your first song “I Want To Be Free”. Talk us through the lyrics. Is it right that you actually started writing this when you were 14 at school? TOYAH: Yes, I'm severely dyslexic. You don't get over dyslexia, but what dyslexics are utterly brilliant at doing is bluffing their way I think to the top jobs in the world. Trump is probably dyslexic. He's definitely dyspraxic. So you've got wonderful artists ... I think Gary Numan could possibly be dyslexic. We find a way of acting normal within the world. So at the age of 14, I realised I should not be at school because the three R's were never going to work. I should have been at drama school or a music school, so in a maths lesson I was just writing down these words “I don't want to go to school, don't wanna be nobody's fool. I wanna be me, I wanna be free” and that's the birth of that song.

HAYLEY: Wow, I love that! I think I was the same in math as well. My parents always wanted me to get a C and I always got a D so it's not good,Toyah. We're going to play “I Want To Be Free”. Top Ten in 1981. Here we go. (Video plays) I want to talk about how it all started for you because I just look at you and I just think, wow, you're just born to be on stage - but it hasn't always been that way, has it? TOYAH: Not really. I was born in Birmingham, my family never believed I could be in show business. I'm ridiculously small. And when I was young, I had a very pronounced limp because I had one leg longer than the other, which is now being corrected. It was corrected when I was 51 and I'm now 62. HAYLEY: Wow, you look amazing by the way! I want to know your secret!

TOYAH: I've been through quite a lot, so movement and music as two related things mean a to me thus I was born to be on stage. I was born to be a performer. I was very lucky that the head of Pebble Mill, which was where BBC was based during the Birmingham period, up from about the 1950’s into the 70’s. The head of that building said to my parents “your daughter is dyslexic. She is a star in the making. Get her out of normal school and put her in drama school” and he got me into a Birmingham drama school.

And I never looked back and within a year I was the youngest member of the National Theatre in London. I starring in a play with Warren Clarke, Kate Nelligan and then I went on to work with Derek Jarman. I made a movie with Katharine Hepburn, directed by George Cukor, who directed “Star Is Born” with Judy Garland. And then I ended up at these really high end art places - ICA, the Royal Court Theatre.

I had a fabulous beginning in acting, but all along I was developing my music because I realised that if I was going to become a singing superstar, I had to do it young. I couldn't leave it on the back burner as a hobby. I had to go for it hell for leather.

HAYLEY: Yeah, because your voice is just incredible, it's almost operatic, isn't it?

TOYAH: I studied opera. Even though I don't think I fitted into my school, they taught ballet which is why I went there to help me with my disability, to give me balance and strength. It also taught music, which is the only O level I got. And it taught me opera. So my first singing lessons which I had - two weeks with German and Italian opera. HAYLEY: God! Toyah, you'd be so ashamed with me - I can't sing a note. Honestly, I've tried on this programme before. TOYAH: Really? HAYLEY: Yeah, maybe you could give me some lessons, Toyah! (laughs) TOYAH: I don't believe people can't sing because people can express so you may say you can't sing, but there is a form of music out there that you would fit. HAYLEY: Wow! I would take that! We’re going to go into your next song. “Thunder InThe Mountains” I really feel like this is when you are bringing in the punk energy here, don’t you, Toyah?

TOYAH: Yes! Totally bringing in the punk energy. I had started my career in 1976, the end of - into 77’, so I was very much a punk rocker right through to 1980 and the majority of my audience was serious punk rockers. So I felt I needed to bring that energy with me into the new wave into the New Romantic because my first international hit was 1981, so that's a long career before you have commercial success. So “Thunder In The Mountains” (sings the song) I mean, it's all about pogoing. It's all about rebellion, so it's very much bringing punk into the 1980’s.

HAYLEY: Well, we love it. Is bringing back a lot of happy memories, I know, for our viewers. Here is “Thunder In The Mountains”. Number 4 in 1981 (Video plays) We've got a question from one of our viewers, Simon. He wants to know what's your favourite TV show that you've worked on because he's just been watching you on “Invasion Planet Earth” and said he really enjoyed that. He said it was very well made. TOYAH: Oh, that's so lovely. That was a crowdfunded movie and it was made for £60 000 and it just looks so good and I loved doing it. I did it as a favour to the director, Simon Cox, and I sang the outro song as well, which is excellent song. So what’s my favourite TV programme I've ever worked on? This is such a difficult question to answer because everything I do I tend to love with a passion.

Doing “French and Saunders” at the end of the 80’s singing “Because The Night” with them on a huge wooden wheel in the background distracting me was a joy, but I would say they are slightly pipped to the post when I did Kenny Everett (below)

HAYLEY: Oh wow! Totally brilliant! TOYAH: He was just a master and you might be realising by now if you've watched my my clips on Sunday is that I love comedy. I don't think I'm a stand-up comedian but I think or like to think that I do have slightly good comic timing. So to be on Kenny Everett and to watch a master. Wow! It was fabulous!

HAYLEY: Fabulous! I want to know have you ever recovered from your challenge on “I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here” because I was watching it last night and I was like my goodness you are brave!

TOYAH: Thank you! It was a pretty mean thing to do because they put me in a cesspit, but what they also did is they used a chemical that stayed on my skin for five days and that chemical smelt of sewerage so they then put me back in the camp where no one would come near me.

What I experienced doing “Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here” was that all the beautiful women and there were many - you had Daniella Westbrook, you had Catalina ... there was quite a few others, but they were all beautiful. They all got helped when they needed the gunge washed off them. With me ... I walked into the camp and everyone parted like that – like the great waves. It was like “we're not coming anywhere near you, you smell!”

HAYLEY: But you got five stars, didn’t you? TOYAH: Yeah, I did really well. HAYLEY: Yeah you did! Well, we loved it. TOYAH: Another thing - I went into the jungle weighing about 7 stone 10 pounds and I came out weighing seven stone. HAYLEY: Aww yeah, I don't know how you do it. TOYAH: Well, it was a fabulous diet! HAYLEY: Straight to the Versace hotel afterwards though. That’s the reward! TOYAH: Yes! HAYLEY: Next song, “Brave New World” is just brilliant. Talk us through the memories for this.

TOYAH: This is produced by Steve Lillywhite, who was married to Kirsty MacColl and Steve Lillywhite then went on to produce U2. I'm very very proud of this song and it's off an album called The Changeling from 1982, which is about to be re-released at the end of this year or the beginning of next year. It's a very mature album for me, and this single is a very mature single and the video has won awards around the world. It was a ground breaking video. It was one of the most expensive videos to be made at the time with £32,000. But to put that into perspective, I think three years later Michael Jackson made “Captain EO” for the Epcot Centre for $10 million, so that shows the journey of video. This was the beginning of video, the beginning of MTV. MTV had only been launched in August of 81’, so it was ascending, but I'm really, really proud of this. HAYLEY: Yeah, I love the video to this one. From 1982 here is “Brave New World” (Video plays) Now we have got a quick fire 80’s quiz for you

TOYAH: Oh good! HAYLEY: She's ready to go! So - favourite TV show from the 80’s? TOYAH: "Young Ones"! HAYLEY: Ah! Good Choice! A thing you wish you could bring back from the 80’s? TOYAH: There’s 2 things. JR of “Dallas” or the rah rah skirt. HAYLEY: Oh yes! I like that! Best outfit from the 80’s? That's going to be hard for you because I'm pretty sure you've got an amazing wardrobe! TOYAH: Yes, my designer - she was called Melissa Caplan. She made everything by hand, but she made me a dress that was actually a Japanese Samurai outfit, so it was a Samurai armour, but made in cotton, which she painted. It was utterly beautiful. I still have it and I still love wearing it.

HAYLEY: Ah, we love that! Favourite hairdo from the 80’s? Again (Toyah is furiously poining at her hair) I mean how can we decide this? TOYAH: You've just seen it – “Brave New World”. The pink and orange hair, standing up. For me … I nailed that one!

HAYLEY: You did! I just haven't got the confidence with my hair. I wish I did because it makes you feel so different, doesn't it, when you dye your hair TOYAH: You look beautiful, you don't need to dye anything! HAYLEY: OK. And best thing a fan sent you from the 80’s? TOYAH: I've got it here. This (a ring) arrived in a book from a palace in Saudi Arabia. It was a princess. She was a huge Toyah fan and obviously summered in the UK in London, the way the Saudi royals do for six months and she sent me a book and I opened the book and it was hollowed out and in it was a necklace and this ring and she said “I'm not allowed follow music but I absolutely love you” and that was about 1984. HAYLEY: God, it’s just beautiful! Oh how lovely! TOYAH: So I treasure that HAYLEY: Yes, I bet you do. Well, your next song “It’s A Mystery”. Yes! My favourite. This is your first appearance on Top Of The Pops. That was an instant hit, wasn't it?

TOYAH: And you know, it was hit because of a very lucky mistake. Melissa wasn't ready. Melissa Caplan, my costume designer, wasn't ready with the outfit I was going to wear and if that outfit was ready I'd have been leaping around the stage the way I normally do. So I wore instead a beautiful dress (above) by a designer, male designer called Brown, I can't remember his first name now, but he did all of Bowie's clothes for the “Heroes” album. And I just looked demure and beautiful, and there I was terrified on the set of Top Of The Pops, singing “It’s A Mystery” and just keeping still because I was in a dress and didn't know how to wear that dress as I never wore dresses. That I think was the winning factor that for the first and only time in my life I was really feminine because of that dress and it gave me a hit HAYLEY: Well, it did give you a huge hit! Here it is from 1981 “It’s A Mystery” (Video plays) Oh, Toyah! I could talk to you all day! It’s gone really quickly!

TOYAH: It does go really quickly, doesn't it, Hayley, when you're having fun! HAYLEY: Yeah! Let’s talk about the new projects because I know you've got a little bit of inside information for us, haven’t you? TOYAH: Yes, we're doing a Rewind tour and it's going to be a drive-in tour. So I can tell you the dates (reads the dates) Now, if those go well, we're going to carry on through September. That’s drive-in and they've managed to organise it that people can get out their cars and dance, which is quite a new concept because previously you had stay in cars, which is very unappealing. So that's Rewind. HAYLEY: This is such exciting news. I'm delighted because obviously everyone has had things cancelled, but it does look like things are coming back and things are being rescheduled.

TOYAH: Excuse the pun, but it's a brave new world and there's a lot of us out there who are just willing to perform. And also, I've got a movie coming out. “To Be Someone” which is nothing to do with “Quadrophenia”, but it does star myself, Leslie Ash, Mark Wingate, Gary Shail, who happened to have been in “Quadrophenia.” And it's a gangster comedy, so that's due out as well. Another another movie called “Give Them Wings” - which hopefully will make it out into the big world this year. At the moment it's at the Venice Film Festival. HAYLEY: Great stuff and we will definitely keep our eyes open for that. We’re going to leave you with “Sensational” of course, because Toyah has been sensational on today's show. Toyah Willcox, thank you so much for your time and your energy. You’re an inspiration to us all! TOYAH: Yay! It’s a pleasure!

#toyah #toyahwillcox #toyah willcox #toyah interview #toyahinterview #toyah2020 #toyah 2020 #thetoyahwillcoxinterviewrachive #the toyah willcox interview archive #toyah online #toyahonline #memorylane80s #memory lane 80s

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fanblubbering · 7 years

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So the ““pro-life”” Zootopia comic is a meme now eh? Well I know this blog has been sleepy on the essays for a heavy minute but hey, guess I’ll give my two-ten cents on “I Will Survive”.

First let’s link to the original comic so people can actually read it in its entirety.

https://borba.deviantart.com/art/I-Will-Survive-01-669500569

All done? Cool. Heads up, I’m going to be Mr.Unpopular because I got positive things to say about the comic and critical things to say about our fandom but hey: what’s the use of running an anonymous blog talking about Zootopia if I’m not going to state my actual opinion?

I’ve been scrolling through Tumblr and unsurprisingly fans are very salty about it. Tumblr’s political compass being well known, I’ve seen a grand total of zero..ehh… pro-pro-life posts? And that’s not a problem: just humorous in the number of posts acting like there is a dialogue going on.

We got our “don’t make Zootopia political” posts and while I agree as I enjoy Zootopia as a foreign world in the same way I wouldn’t want the such topics intruding in Warcraft or Tolkien or any other fantasy setting: this fandom is the pot calling the kettle black with that proclamation. What they mean to say is “Don’t bring right wing politics into it.” I’ve spoken -at length- before about Zootopia’s message: yes it’s an important one, but it’s neither unique, nuanced, or exclusively belonging to one side of the political spectrum.

Still this is Tumblr and I’ve seen the characters become puppets for every left wing talking point under the sun to no detraction. These are the “important” and “controversial” topics to the audience but inevitably its preaching to the choir and so were totally expected in any given fan fiction/art and as such fail to actually be “controversial”.

While some put (more) blinders on and rag on its art style, a great factor in its gaining infamy is the fact it IS well this is so drawn. That it is not an un-skilled sonic style, how-to-draw crayon anime labor to push an agenda. The artist is skilled and the project, like it or not, shows intense effort and conviction to push through despite the overwhelmingly negative reaction. That much should be respected by everyone.

As for the topic itself: again this just shows what people really want. People claim they want “deep” and “intense” stories, but in truth people are satisfied with their no-drama boring coffee shop AUs all things considered. It’s understandable, people naturally hate being cruel gods to worlds they love but the stories are driven by conflict and thats what you found entertaining and fulfilling in the first place. This is, obviously, an emotional issue, I don’t even like the word “political” in this case. It seems more fundamental than that.

I’d really rather not talk about the elephant in the room but I’ll give my observations on the rants I’ve seen. (In)famous comedian Louis C.K had a special recently where he stated: “Abortion is either like taking a dump or committing murder” and its again disappointing but not surprising that people who talk of understanding all time not only fail but refuse to even try to comprehend the other side. Because even acknowledging there is some form of counter-argument is the equivalent of death to our monkey brains.

There is a reason Nick is a Catholic and talks of sin. Ultimately this isn’t an issue of science, it’s a matter of faith. If you believe in souls, odds are good that you believe souls are vested the moment conception. If you don’t, then odds are good you’re willing to push up personhood to some other point in development. And that’s it; playing science is merely an attempt of parley. With that line of reasoning it’s actually rather surprising there aren’t more bombings and shootings of clinics in the U.S, to think babies are being murdered casually every day. I dare say it’s even an odd rusty-medal testament to many a Christians’ non-violent conviction considering the reasons and frequency of terrorism from another abrahamic religion you might have heard of.

But let’s talk about this comic and its apparently pro-life lean.

That riiiiight, IT ISNT PRO-LIFE. And quite frankly that was obvious for anyone who approached it with a shred of objectivity. I’ve read much detraction for the apparently wonky dialogue and self-defeating argument, people failing to consider that perhaps presenting a fair representation of both sides of the argument was an intentional decision and the artist wasn’t actually trying to convince the audience of anything.

What we have is a story, a story with drama based around arguments that shatter real lives and relationships daily. Not every story needs a message, a moral, some lesson that needs to be preached at the audience. Someone goes hunting, they are lost in the woods, and they triumph and make it out: this can be a good story, even one of self discovery, but it doesn’t need to try and shift the opinions of the audience on anything in particular.

Nick wasn’t presented as right, he wasn’t presented as even sympathetic because you’re not supposed to take his side. Judy’s concerns about the child harming her or killing her, or detracting from her career are presented as valid because the artist didn’t intend for them to be invalid. There was not an obvious resolution because there wasn’t supposed to be. Something a real pro-life or pro-choice comic would have had. If pro-choice, Judy would have prospered and Nick would have fallen. If pro-life, we would have seen Judy facing harsh consequence.

In the end people have been shitting down this artist’s throat over nothing. Well, more precisely they’ve been raging monkeys because they thought she belonged to other side. So congratulations:

17 notes · View notes

docmurph12 · 4 years

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Ok. So two parter on CATS coming up. POSSIBLY a three parter depending on how long it takes to get through background. Here we go......

So my first request review comes from my good friend. I'm not sure how this is going to go, because I'm going whole hog on this one, again in the interest of pure objectivity.

My understanding of CATS is this. It was a Broadway musical based very loosely on T.S. Eliot's "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats". My friends in and fans of the theater community have told me there isnt really an intended overriding plot. The Wikipedia page I found begs to differ, but they insisted it really is just a collection of vignettes, told through the perspective of a cat. Simple enough? I believe so. Now, I also understand this stage musical to have been adapted a number of times, largely for Broadway and for specific actors and actresses, with the noted exception of the film CATS (2019). Yes that one. Yes I intend to watch it. On purpose. But wait there is more. The 2019 film was trashed nearly universally but everyone before they finished the trailer and after the film was released and viewed. Most people said the performances were fine but visually it was recieved as, to put it simply, fucking wierd. I saw one review that said it was released unfinished, with a CD character model floating into the middle of a scene out of context and with no animation, a mess with texture rendering (apparently Ian McKellan has a scene where his fur just doesn't show. Like the texture is flat. Like it looks like it was published on a floppy disk alongside the original Doom). Not to mention the myriad questions that seem to come up in conversation about the character design choices as a whole. Jesus, how bad is this thing??

My resources tell me a BUNCH of super important contextual things about this one, most important of them being that this is SUPER META Broadway at it's best. Like this is the most Broadway that has ever Broadway'ed. This could be a good thing (one of my favorite musical pieces is fucking everything from Les Miserables), or it could be a bad thing (anyone that knows me knows that with notable exceptions I am NOT a big fan of musicals AT ALL, which is strange for me given my proclivity for weirdness, good storytelling, and music). This is going to be fun for everyone I think so strap in folks. This is going to be a wierd ride through furry land with a guy that wants nothing to do with it, lol. (SCORE, looking like 2 parts)

First I'll be looking at CATS (2019), because I am a glutton for punishment, and my wife says that the best way to get through this is to chew through the shit sandwich first, and then to get through the good stuff, so the good stuff is what sticks. I'm not sure I am going to enjoy either part, but I am open to it so here we go. I'll try to keep my writing as live as possible, per usual.

RIGHT AWAY, as I'm completing the Amazon rental purchase, this cast is fucking loaded. Taylor Swift, Jennifer Hudson. Judi Dench, Jason Derulo (wait, he acts too? Maybe his part is the worst part in this, I hate his music worse than I dislike Taylor Swift), Idris Elba, Ian McKellan, Rebel Wilson, and more. And that doesnt even include any love for people I am not familiar with that might carry some star power over from Broadway. So this thing is loaded for bear with acting heavies. That said, I really don't understand the comic appeal of Rebel Wilson. I don't think she is funny. You already lost me with Taylor Swift and Jason Derulo. All that said, this cast roster looks expensive.

Ok I am a minute and 47 seconds in and my first thought already is what the hell am I listening to? If this was originally put together in the 80s, and its either loved (ironically I guess?)or reviled, why would you stick with the same musical choices as instrumentation is concerned? I'm guessing I am going to have more on this later.

So completely inconsequential to the actual review the word jellicle as it relates to cats is totally ruined thanks to my learning of a word not in may people's vocabularies. Farticles. Thanks to my cousins for that one.

Alright, so full disclosure. I am not a fan of Rebel Wilson. I enjoy aspects of characters she plays, and she can be funny at times, but when your whole act revolves around one aspect of you (in her case it is that she is a large woman. Seriously its like every joke in all 3 Pitch Perfect movies) it says a lot about your ability to tell a story or joke. That said, it is so nice to not hear Rebel Wilson tell fat jokes. She is genuinely talented. It's hard to watch her in this cat suit (? Cat body? Cat war crime? More later), but it's interesting to see someone explore another side of their craft.

The sound design is...off. I'm not sure how else to describe it. You can LOUDLY hear body parts hitting set pieces. Footfalls, people jumping and grabbing on things. Like seriously you can hear it over the music. It sounds like someone got lazy in the mixing room, or they were trying to make it feel more like a stage production. News Flash. It doesn't make it feel like a stage production. It makes it feel like nobody in the production staff cared as much as the actors. I am beginning to suspect that ALL the money on this movie was spent on casting. And concept art.

I am genuinely confused by the choice to have only a couple cats wear clothes, and when they remove them, their fur looks exactly like the clothes they removed. I'm finding myself looking at things they did that wasted money. Money that could have been spent anywhere else to improve this thing.

All things considered, I could watch Idris Elba play the title character in Jaws, and enjoy it.

I'm pretty impressed by the entire cast's commitment to everything they picked up from their movement coaching. It is obvious that they were trying to incorporate a lot of typical feline movement and habitual aspects, even going so far as utilizing ballet movements for some of the dancing (probably because it is more "feline", to use the word again.) Nobody has really slipped yet. It's pretty impressive.

I think the thing that has me most surprised throughout is that this thing has the ability to elevate some (Rebel Wilson, Jason Derulo, Francesca Hayward, Jennifer Hudson, the VFX artists) and drag others through the dirt, (Judi Dench, Ian McKellen, Idris Elba, the VFX artist team), most times in the same scene. It's crazy how on one hand someone truly can astound you with their performance, blow you away with a wonderful rendition of a song some people know well, and on the other hand you see wonderful, well established actors really putting their asses into a performance that has no way of doing them service because there isn't anything there. For comparison, look at Ben Kingsley in Ghandi, or Lucky Number Slevin, versus his performance in Bloodrayne. It's really hard to watch these respected thespians work their asses off for something that won't ultimately pay off for them because it doesn't have the capability to.

Ok so halfway verdict here:

This was a fucking mess. Now I didnt see the original theatrical release, so I have no idea how truly barrel bottom things got here. I CAN say, that I can see the bones of what this is supposed to be buried in the mess of cat shit (see what I did there????).

The concept of the costuming is essentially what I imagine it is for the stage show, but seeing it in it's execution is.....disturbing. The movement coaching was pretty solid and worked well with the dance choreography, but in combination with the actual character design there is an implied sexuality in the feline-ness that makes you uncomfortable, but not in the thought provoking way, just in the "forced to look at naked people covered in cat fur for an hour and a half" kind of way. Like I was even kind of into Idris Elba's performance of Macavity, until he took off the hat and trench coat and now I'm just watching a naked Idris, but with cat ears and a tail. To be honest seeing this throughout the film really took you out of the immersive aspects of it. Not to mention that while lighting was ok, the actual character models pasted on the motion capture actors moved strangely, sometimes the faces were disjointed with the heads, sometimes textures looked unfinished (not as bad as I thought it would be but I know people that could do better than that on their computers at home.) Just a jarring experience visually overall.

The score was ugly and dated too. Or maybe not the score, so much as the instrumentation. Sound design was atrocious throughout, it seemed like the intent was to make it feel more like a stage production, but if that's the case, why go the route they did in terms of set design and all that? Being able to hear hollow flooring under heavy footfall, or people loudly slamming hands into bars they need to grab to catch themselves, or the piss poor choice in instrumentation, the whole thing feels like B roll for the DVD extras. You know what actually did great in updating the music for a more immersive experience? Aladdin. Check my first review out for more on that one.

So halfway verdict? I say a rough D. I dont see myself going back for this one, but I'm not unable to see the appeal. I just am sort of anticipating the 1998 Broadway production (part 2 of this review) so I can see what this is really SUPPOSED to be. Watch for part 2, coming later!

#cats #cats 1998 #cats the musical #broadway #movie #review

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therewillbesparkles · 6 years

Text

baseball jewelry

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0 notes

tsukifairy · 6 years

Text

baseball accessories

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0 notes

curiouskarenscapers2017 · 7 years

Text

As I promised, my diary I wrote and sent to my friends and family, before the awesomeness of FB and blogging, on my year’s teaching English in Taiwan. I’m not changing anything as this is what I wrote then and want to keep it that way. Enjoy!

Welcome to the all new Taiwan Times. This publication has a limited release of once a month, so don’t lose out, get your copy now!

1 Aug 2004 – Opening Special – 5Nt$

Puffy and red-eyed I disappeared into the customs queue, only to discover they don’t exchange rands for $ on the departure side, officially I have left SA soil. Anyway, can always change it in Hong Kong or at Taipei airport…..right?

So on the Cathy Pacific plane I got greeted curtly but friendly by red and yellow hostesses and secured myself a cozy corner with, as usual, a vacant seat next to me for my guardian angle. I started reading my JM Auel novel Shelters of Stone until we were circling Jo’burg, up, up and away. The dry brown grass slowly gave way to more green lush vegetation as I flew over Nelspruit and then….weeeeeeeee the big blue Indian ocean! First time out exploring this side!! Behind me the African continent, ahead of me, the big blue unknown. Weird, about an hour or three into the 13hour flight I see land. Stretching out across the horizon. Did we turn around at anytime? I didn’t feel anything! How weird! Then I started going through my geography lessons, Madagascar is just off the coast, but that’s only an island, surely this is not it! We probably flew for over an hour and the land just stretched out forever! I couldn’t believe it, and yes it was Madagascar! It was one of the few times…..I was totally taken by surprise geographically speaking! My word, what a huge country! Mountains, sand, desert looking areas and tropical fringes as we neared it’s east coast. Well, I will have to come visit this place soon!! I thinks it’s bigger than the whole of Taiwan, I’ll check and let you know!

Then …….only the wide blue expanse known as the sea. How small I feel now, like a mozzie hovering over a swimming pool…..an Olympic size swimming pool! Started reading my book, when I discovered everybody busy watching something. Now because of my position in the plane I was situated at an isle that does not have a seat in front of it. No TV screen except for one mounted up on the wall to my right. A safety video was playing as in our new airplanes. When it finished, I watched and waited……hmmmmmm interesting…….the guy next to me had his tray table out, wait, it’s not his tray table, it’s a TV screen. I fiddled and pulled and eventually found it hidden on a aluminum arched arm. Ha!!! Gotcha! Then the manual, yeaaah right, me and a manual……..what does this button do……….so on page 5 of the manual select this button for movies, sports etc. FINE! A few minutes later I had the world at my fingertips. My, how technology livens up a flight these days. I had a choice of Premier movies, Blockbusters, stuff for kids (only watched (The Emperor’s Groove)the lama movie once ….ok!) Games etc,etc. Watched Hildago x2 and Man on Fire once. Couldn’t sleep properly, only dozed as we cruised at 890km/h 37 000ft up. Lovely. In the early morning hours we flew over Phuket, what a sight!!! It looked like an alien life form sprawled out web like on the black velvet. The city lights outlined the whole island, small insects attached by orange byways. Then nothing. The strange Northern sky stars were visible as we passed through clouds and into clear indigo skies.

Breakfast was served at about 1 am SA time, 7am theirs and I looked down to see the South China Sea. I tired hard to spot any pirates but I think we were to high up……I could have sworn I…..no, no not to sure…… Anyway, next moment mainland China loomed and we flew into Hong Kong. Aaaaahhhssoooooooo!

As the clouds cleared a very alien land revealed itself. Mountains of Cape Town’s Somerset West area covered with lush green vegetation of KZN dotted with skyscraper clusters of white buildings. Each cluster had about 3 to 5 skyscrapers bundled together to form little sky scraper honeycombs of apartments. Difficult to see how high they are but any of our buildings look like squatter camps compared. My eyes can’t focus well today as I think I’m still sleepwalking, but roughly 100 floors up, divided by a central horizontal level, others look like they have a base of a shopping center with 5 spikes of apartments on it’s back.

As we flew in we crossed an amazing bridge that looks like thread holding the supporting beams up. Like those forms we used to make at school with threads around the nails in a board. Stunning. Lot’s of boats and freight ships up and down the harbour entrance.

It looked as if we were going to land in the sea when you suddenly see the runway jutting out into the sea…..coool!!!!!

You don’t get the impression that’s it’s over crowded here at all. Lot’s of green. Actually reminds me of Jurassic Park – Ilsorna Island. The temperature when we landed was 27C. The airport is huge, over 80 gates. This is why I say everything happens for a reason, I land at gate 66 and my departing gate is 4. So if it wasn’t I would have to walk from one end of this massive airport to the other!!! To see the shops, take pictures at every flowerpot because they have orchids in them, for pa etc. Definitely walked off the 13hours. This is a shopping paradise! Duty free is to die for! Went to the restrooms to freshen up and found an addition to my other novel I’m compiling – 101 ways to flush a toilet throughout the world – Today we tried the “self flushing” function, or what I like to call the “auto pilot flushing function”. Please check your packaging before purchase to make sure the box reads APFF, if it does nor say APFF it does not have APFF (Intel jingle here). Walk in sit down, stand up and leave – flushing will occur automatically/by itself……..cooooolllll!!! Ok, ok,ok just one more time!

Anyway, sitting waiting for my next flight to my island destination! They have an announcement system…wat skrik vir niks! A lady’s voice with a posh English cum Irish accent is used on the recording (like our voicemail on the cell phones…you have one new message…) It announces passengers still to board, but instead of the lady saying the passenger’s name a Chinese person had recorded the names and repeats it twice. Eg. Lady: Would passenger …….Chinese person: Yin Lung Chaw, Yin Lung Chaw….Lady: delaying flight CX450 to Beijing board at gate 4. Then everything get played again. It sounds something like Dory in Finding Nemo, speaking whale……..

Anyway, updated my report before my memory function shuts down…Don’t know how I’ll look like getting there and still going straight to the parents function —-that story’s for later! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

As we approached Taiwan, 1:10min flight, 399miles/h, 803km/h, the south side of the island is beautiful, out of the exotic island books. You can see the continental shelf and islands in clear blue water, as you travel up North toward Taipei, you pass some of the bigger cities. The clouds around each city had a weird haziness to it. Like a brownish glow amongst the white. The next city darker more hazy, less cloud. Until we reached Taipei. I thought we were flying into a storm, or at least raining weather. Then I slowly realized it’s pollution. My word. As the plane descended it was like flying into a dark cloud and you couldn’t see a thing! Once we landed it looked a lot like a Durban sized airport. I arrived, through customs and got my luggage. I was met by a Chinese guy with a placard with my name on. It felt like Jo’burg airport and a bus of Chinese tourists had just been dropped off.

Waited a while, while he collected 3 other people. Then we got into a kombi/Caraval looking VW with tinted windows and little curtains…..hmmmmmmmmm. By this time my bum was numb and here I was sitting in the taxi driving to who knows how far away. And boy did we drive and drive and drive……… Eventually a further 2 hours later, back South down the island, we arrived at Chang Hwa (also spelt Changhua), the town the school is situated in. We stopped outside the Sesame School. Cute. Hot and very humid, 32C and who knows what % humidity, using my built in KZN humidity counter I would have guessed well into the 80 – 90%. I could barely get out of the taxi! He unpacked my bags and they left while I met the staff.

Jane was the girl at the reception. I also met Judy, the owner and two other teachers Nellie and Yvonne. All very friendly but I just wanted to drink water! Got an iced green tea instead….hmm refreshing!!! Then they asked me to take a seat! What!!! I have been sitting half my life…it feels like it ok!…..no thank you! I asked if I could go walking outside while they organize stuff. MacD greeted me in Chinese just across the road. About an hour later a Canadian teacher David dropped me off at the apartment where I met Jake, the security guard at the complex gate.

The area is relatively clean but quite crowded with buildings. Reminded me a lot of Nigeria, just much cleaner and neater. Millions of Taiwanese signs with no English translations greets you merrily as you look down the street, the people here are bombarded with signage and become blind to any new signage! The roads are good and at least they have robots, although a red light means yield up to a point. No stop signs anywhere.

The apartment also reminded me of Nigeria and we arrived at no 2 on the 10th floor. An Interesting ,Chinese art work, metal gate adorned the front door. As I arrived my room mates were expecting me and we all greeted each other cheerfully. Abby is a girl from Edmonton, Alberta Canada and Teri is from Parktown Joburg. I was going to be just fine. They are the coolest!! Got my room, about my townhouse lounge size, green. Sorted my stuff out and crashed on the bed.

They were going to the graduation ceremony which I was invited to, but because I had suddenly had a choice, I declined and asked if I could just lie down for a short while. Woke up some time during the night, around 7. They came back, we had a bottle of wine and started chatting away, telling me everything I wanted to know and more! Then they invited me out to their monthly jol, which I started off declining but ended up accepting….I might miss out on something man!!!

We were sorted. Teri lent me 2000NTS for now and we got a cab from the security guard at the gate. Got into the cab and Teri showed him where we wanted to go from an add in a magazine. Taichung is the town next door. Much Like Pretoria from Midrand or Toti from Durban. Communication is a bit of a hassle here as most don’t speak enough English to communicate! We eventually phoned the club and handed the phone to the driver to ask for directions himself! And we were off!!!

The Pig Pen was out destination. Cool! 200NTS to get in and the party started. NTS is about 1 – 5. So 200 NTS is about R40. I am proud to say, in my state I actually made it and upheld my reputation for leaving last! We left the club at about 5, went outside into full daylight, had a hotdog on the street for about 100NTS without the roll and got a cab home!

Teri disappeared and we got stuck with an Australian guy that was there on contract. We met some cool people at the club! American, Auzzie another Canadian and an Irish guy called Gary, a teacher at our school, and a gay Chinese guy called Twingo who works for M.A.C cosmetics. All sorts!

Danced sokkie at one stage with the American guy who was into the gay Chinese guy, as sweet as can be. He thanked me for the couple of dances later and Teri disappeared again with Clark Kent (no, only a guy that looked like Clark Kent). We supported Smirnoff by drinking Black Ice, very nice, Teri organized a few Sambuca shooters and we had a jol. People only go out very late at night, usually at about 11pm.

We eventually got home and wound up with no keys, Teri had them! So at about 6:30 in the morning Abby and I were looking for the locksmith that usually opens their door for them and we had breakfast when we couldn’t find him. The little side street eating place, was a place I think I would never have found under normal circumstances. We had a chicken pita “effek”. We went back to the apartment and crashed in Gary’s apartment for a few hours until about 11:30 when the locksmith was open, on a Sunday nogal. After about 30min we were home free. I showered, washed my hair, watched TV and slept from about 3pm until Monday morning. The girls had a braai that evening but I was left to recover, it’s the age you know!!!!

All rested and ready for my 1st day at school! Another weird similarity with Nigeria is their bread. Its sweet. There is water available outside in the street at a little pump against the wall. You buy a plastic reusable container that takes about 10litres or so for NTS70 and you can then refill at these pumps for NTS10. It’s like a self service fuel pump. Point the nozzle into the container, put in your NTS10 and suddenly the water flows. Thought it wouldn’t stop before it reached the top but, exactly the right amount fills the container and stops.

Got up had toast and started sorting my room to make it more homely. Got a table and cupboard from the spare room/store room and unpacked all my clothes etc. It is very hot here, the fan goes full blast 24/7. My hands and feet are suffering from water retention and I’m seldom hungry – good will lose weight quickly! I only need and want to drink water constantly!

I only start at the school at 1 o’clock and stay there until 9pm for the week. Can’t wait, saw pics of the school and the kids and know we’ll have a good time.

Teri has been here 1,5 years and Abby 6 months. There is a stunning place called Nanoi out of town that is beautiful, with trees etc. Not much of that around here. We’ll do that soon as I have some money. Things are very cheap here. Food etc. NTS 20 + rent NTS 3000 – NTS 5000 and a cell phone prepaid option NTS 600 with about NTS 400 free airtime. I’ll find out more about that. But laptops and cell phones are relatively cheap, a bicycle NTS 1 000 and scooter from NTS 5 000.

My first day at school – I was cool! I was assigned to Abby to show me the ropes. She showed me how the lesson plans worked etc. IDCS prepared me well for following structure! Then we went to class. About 10 Chinese kids. All Chinese here, don’t really talk about anything Taiwanese…..interesting. Kids are the same the world over! Infact these kids were very similar to many of the people I trained – so grown ups are like kids….eeeeuuureka!!!!

The naughty one, the quiet one, the over achiever, the under achiever etc.etc.etc Great fun. One of the kids, who by the way all have an English name assigned to them when they start here, Stanley was quite a handful, he’s one of those who just looks naughty before he even is! Anyway, he was getting a tad out of hand. Extremely hyperactive……….I wonder if they know about ADDS or have any treatment for that here? Anyway, Abby asked him to go sit next to me to help him relax and quieten down. It worked like a bomb. I scare them already! Staring at me as if I was some kind of a strange alien like being from another planet…….wait…..I was!!! Shame, he did exceptionally well in his little exercise we had to complete. And after him Luke joined me with pretty much the same result. Clearly Fear is not a factor for me!!

My body is doing all kinds of weird things in this hot and humid and polluted atmosphere. I’ve gone a funny swollen white, not wearing jewelry because you can’t get it off. Had puffy eyes on Tuesday morning and felt a bit queasy. The girls say it’s different for each person. They had worse!

Last night I finished at about 9, weird but nice to have a shift from 1 – 9 everyday for 3 months….or rather that’s the idea. Saturday’s from 10 – 4. I walked home all relaxed, popped in to what I hoped was a Supermarket, and it was, and checked out the stuff. Very cheap drinks etc. NT$ 8 for a cool drink about R1.50 and lots of it! Just as well I did the logo quiz that did it’s rounds on the internet a while back – because Lipton written in Chinese doesn’t say Lipton. But the red and yellow logo kind of did. We’ll get there! Very nice shop with tons of stuff. Hair colour is available for NT$ 100 (Loreal +- R20) Should have just bought it here instead of paying R50 – R70 at Dischem – all part of the learning curve!!!

There logo’s with Chinese writing is quite cool if you’re into the Chinese theme. Maybe I can do up one of my rooms back in SA with Hello Kitty lamps and hello kitty toothpaste and hey what about a Hello Kitty bed set and Ko Bo Bear toothbrush etc.etc.etc.etc.etc Shoppers paradise!

I’ve had mixed feelings about this place throughout the last few days. From – oh no it’s like Nigeria to cool food – chowfan, stunning flied lice with veggies and a surprise meat – no not that type, but sometimes it’s chicken and sometimes it’s shrimp etc. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I think I did expect it to look like a typical Japanese rural set up – the romantic version. Greenery, calmness etc etc. But I’m feeling much better about it now that I’ve gotten involved with the living here.

A note on the cars here, 90% of all cars are either some dark colour like black/blue but all have tinted windows right around, windscreen etc. – very cloak and dagger looking. Eventually found out that there is no weird and sinister reason for it, just the extreme heat. Lots of the cars also have curtains in the windows. The major ranges are, Toyota, Mitsubishi, Mercedes (they call it Benz), Mazda and Suzuki. Very few BMW’s. I cry a little each time I see one….like mine!!!!!booooohoooooooooooooo

Anyway, so I had my first on the Wednesday (28/7) – a bit nerve wrecking, weird and fun all together. I felt worse than I ever did training grown ups!! The kids are a tough crowd. But it went relatively well and the Thursday double class was great! I had a ball and was on a roll! The kids loved me even the naughty ones. Probably until they know me better.

Anyway, a few new habits I had to learn quickly: 1. I leave your shoes at the door. There are always shoes everywhere and nobody takes anybody else’s….cooollll. Even umbrellas at the shops. They have an umbrella grid outside the some shops, you stick it in there and when you come out, lo and behold it’s still there! 2. Speak like an American……..yeeeaaahh right, no really, oh….ok then! This I thought would be easy, because I love accents! But after a day or so twanging and drawling my mouth felt funny! I could get away with most sounds normally, it’s all the American sounds like a and r that influence their phonics studies. The worst part is the spelling!!!! To after 34 years spell colour –COLOR killed me!!! THIS IS WRONG, did you people know that??? Flavor, Habor…..eeeeeeeeuuuuuuwwwwwwww!!! I have to force the hand to omit the u……shame, that’s why I email and do the Taiwan Times in British Based English! AND ORGANIZE!!!!!! Really!!!

I had a lovely cooler walk home the one evening in the rain. Got a nice yellow raincoat from the girls that fit over my backpack as well, I look like the Michelin man now in yellow!!! At least no car can miss me!!!

No point in wearing closed shoes or anything but slip on or strap on shoes. Totally relaxed. I was way too dressed up for here. T-shirts and short are the order of the day – this is where I start realizing I am getting older!!! Too many corporate positions later…where you have to look professional or at least smart casual. Here it is whatever the weather dictates, the hotter the less or shorter. But no strappy things allowed. I am actually thinking of getting a few dresses……eeeeuuuuuww. I think however I’ll stay with the smart casual look, that’s more me!!

Went to the shop on Wednesday to buy bread. People aren’t into bread here, weird. Couldn’t get a full loaf of bread anywhere and then to ask for brown bread is unheard of. They have a 711 where they usually buy bread from and weird pastries…but divine!!! The only bread they have is like a delicatessen where you get a bag with 6 slices of something at NT$ 37 expensive. The girls said there is a bakery down the road, will check it out sometime.

I have a favourite food!!!! Chow Fan and a lemon type juice they mix at the juice bar borough. Softly lemon tasting with little seeds in it that look like tadpole eggs. They are cool to chew!!!!!!!!! Another unusual thing here is that unlike our ice cream truck with it’s memorable tune, the garbage truck has a tune. I ran outside to get an ice cream and was instead greeted by a “trash worker” not a garbage man – trash worker

Went to McDonalds for lunch. They have a Mc Rib burger/roll meal for NT$109. Stunning – look out for it in SA soon!!! A roll with ribless rib meat on a whole grain bun – jummy!!!!

We had my first teachers meeting the Wednesday night at 8:30. A weekly occurrence. I was formally welcomed. They have a power point presentation with the relevant points to discuss and 15 min later the meeting was over. I need to teach somebody some Power Point techniques.

The kids here are still up and going to these after school classes till 9pm. Even the little ones 5yrs and up. I couldn’t believe the energy they have at this hour!!!HECTIC.

It was a stunning day the Thursday morning, I could see the mountain from my room, clear and hot. Probably because of last nights cleansing session.

The channels here are HBO, AXN, Star Movies and a few other we don’t really watch. Discovery Channel and National Geographic is in Chinese with Chinese subtitles – thanks for that!! But I can at least watch the pictures go by. AXN is like SABC 1,2,3 even changes between programmes are similar. HBO is more movies. Watched XXX for the millionth time, and enjoyed every minute! Will have to get used to it. Not much time for TV though – I’m at the school from about 10am to 9pm soon it will be 9am – 9pm, they have plans. Saturday I went to the opening of their new school. Per scooter again!!!! I’m getting the hang of it now. I need to learn to relax behind the person riding because it’s not me in control! We met with the parent as well as new students, great fun. Outside the school they decorate the entrance with huge round wreaths. It looked like a funeral palour but then I realized it is festivity wreaths. People drop it of at the school to whish them good luck and good fortune. Red and gold are the colours of luck and fortune. Parents bring flower arrangements with a red ribbon/banner with gold writing on. Very interesting. Looks like a huge party. The round wreaths are nearly a meter to 1.5 m in diameter with red, white synthetic flowers and decorations. Probably about 6 – 10 of them outside and in the street along the side walk. After that I saw them around town where ever something was celebrated or good luck was whished upon the shop or house.

Saturday afternoon at about 4:30 I was back at home cleaning up a bit with the Beagle Buddies at my heals.

I met another SA friend of Teri and Abby, Nicolene and they went out partying at about 11:30pm. I watched movies and went to bed, woke up at about 9 and was told we are meeting Judy (the owner) at about 3 for a meeting about the new school and kindergarten. We lazed around a while and took a walk down to the school. Nobody was there and we waited a few minutes before heading back home via a different route. Saw a stunning temple on the way. Will take some pics. Got to the flat and Judy phoned. We met her after 4 at a place called Hola Amigo. They greeted you “Hola Amigo” as you enter. Very jazzy, lounge type look and feel to it but very nice. Décor very Jo’burg!

Monday 2/8 was hectic and confusing. Not too organized as to the new material to use with the new semester. But a few days of improvising eventually lead to the successful end result of knowing what you’re supposed to be doing.

The girls were in a bit of a slump the last few days with all the changes and uncertainty as to what positions they are to be moved into etc. Teri to the new school and Abby taking over the kindergarten with me. Me doing the kindergarten, ESL and Sesame street. Well see what happens.

I was still hunting down banks day after day with no success.

On the Tuesday night as I got home around 9:30. I met another SA teacher. Hennie Malan. We got talking immediately and he wanted to introduce me to the other teachers not of our school – nogal Afrikaans people. An older crowd��…my age! I know what you were thinking there…… Watchit!!!!! I’m looking forward to gooi the taal a bit!A new teacher Ryno from SA arrived today and he’s Afrikaans……good opportunity!

It’s weird how you substitute certain Afrikaans words for certain situations when only the Afrikaans word kan explain it. Like today I found myself telling David, the Canadian teacher about something that was VREk ver….oh sorry….very far…naaaaah not the same! What a language we have!!

Abby felt a tremour the other day as we stood in the office. I didn’t even notice although I felt weird and everything felt “thick”..don’t know hot to explain it. The air was tight/thick……weird!!!

Anyway must look at maybe getting a place of my own in a new building, maybe on the 4th floor or 2nd floor, not the 10th! Less further to fall…..just incase you know.

I’m bursting with anticipation to travel. This Hennie guy had just come from a weeks holiday in Thailand. Stayed in 5s tar hotels for 6 nigths and how much did it cost him?…..a meager NTS 5000 not even R1000!!! The deals here are apparently the best. Because of a very small apartment culture 24/7 the people want to splurge on their holidays! Will have to check that out….maybe we can all rather meet there for a week…..pack the bikinis.

One very sad discovery I made here was that people don’t EVER tan!! Can you believe it!!! EVER! Apparently it is their culture to try and be as white and pure as possible. There is even discrimination against the darker coloured Chinese people, these are usually working class, or spend most of their time outside in the fields or rice paddies. Not pure. Interesting, I’m ranking in at the sub worker level without starting!

Well, I am definitely getting a scooter!!!!! What a rush!! Had to ride one yesterday for the first time because of Teri having had a bumper bashing on hers. This is where you start it, this is where you brake, this is the petrol and here’s your helmet!!! Go!! It’s like riding a bike only I never got to the motorbike part, I skipped it for the 4wheel vehicle. But well, let me tell you, ma’s going to love it!! Wind in your hair that sticks out, helmet hair and the occasional bug in your face. Reminds me of the movie Me Myself and Irene but the freedom to get around…faster, is the best!!! And left hand driving as well…on the road…not on the scooter! Man you can’t beat it!! Better than a car here because you can stop anywhere, park anywhere etc. etc. Needless to say I got hopelessly lost and a ride that would normally take 10min or less took me 45 min! I was late for the class and it was getting dark. I said to myself, myself, I have a feeling it’s down this road, I took a right and voila it was there. Probably a block away from where I was busy getting lost. But I did find, after many days of searching the land, the bank I was looking for ICBC! A pitty that I couldn’t do my banking then, because I will have to find it again!!! I suppose that’s the best way to find your way around. The only concern I had while getting lost was that nothing is in English or the people on the street don’t speak enough English to direct you if you asked for directions!! AND no cell phone!!! I’m going to have to organize!

Just got my massive paycheck of R1000 for my 1st weeks work and had a slightly depressing evening. Got home had a glass of red wine and went to sleep. The next day I had to get to the other school again. Every Wednesday from 2 – 4. I was going to cycle there but instead….somebody…lent me there SCOOTER!!!! Wendy a Chinese teacher did! Weeeeeeee, I’m OK now! Did I mention poor Amy had no petrol in her tank left after I returned her scooter? No? well I bought her a chocolate and she refused my money. Wonder where I can go with Wendy’s Yamaha SV today AND get this it has a remote!!! No WAY!!!! Like a car remote but only for a scooter!!! What next!!!??? Ma – I’ll get you one of those! Press the remote on your way to the bike and it starts for you…..over there!! Where it’s parked while you’re over here still walking over there!!!!…teeeeheeeheeee Then you switch it off via the remote. A tweet tweet and it’s off and locked….no no really!!! Troes bob!! I just need a cool helmet!!

Went on an outing Friday 13/8 to the swimming pool. Let me explain. It’s more of a water world under roof. Two buildings. One is more a spa. They have the usual pool with 8 lanes then an extra one with about 3 lanes or so and a small section with little pools all over, with different types of spa’s. Ones a Jacuzzi, one’s salty etc. Steam rooms and saunas very well organized with little seats per person in the spa pools. The outside building has the super tube inside that ends into a big play pool. A normal Virgin Active style pool as well next to it. They have 2 cool water canons mounted next to the play pool – I had to try it out!!! Got em all good and solid!!! Who da woman!!! They begged me to stop! It’s your birthday, it’s your birthday

What a jol. I didn’t swim, we had to watch the kids! Eventually the kids were pulling up my jeans so that I could walk into the pool until knee high! Too cute!!! Let me tell you what else this spa has….but let me just take a few minutes to tell you what karaoke means to these people. The karaoke bars or rather palaces dot the country side like chicken pox. It’s called KTV bars here and they are a religion all on it’s own. Back to the spa, you might ask why Karen did you tell us about the karaoke…well dear reader in the spa upstairs where you get dressed or undressed are two very fancy massage chairs and low and behold 2 bible looking A4 sized leather books with gold writing. As I turned around, there it was. A big screen TV with a coin operated pad to select your song and two huge microphones. I took a picture. Just incase your partner on the massage chair has no music to relax to. Now, I’m not the real gung-ho karaoke singer type and will ONLY participate kicking and screaming in the name of fun. Boetie, this place is for you and your gang and Erica!! I’m sure I can organize an amazing system here for you guys for next to nothing.

This weekend I’m getting a sim card, can’t go on like this! Will let you know as soon as possible.

Well I did it, got a sim card on Saturday 14/8 on the IF network – Far East Tone and set everything up. What a feeling of telecommunication freedom. Got my number 091 740 9954 and checked out the cellular info on their packages. Very cheap and very good because there are so many provider and networks. Competition is fierce!!!

Some Taiwan Cellular info: Got my SIM card on Saturday 14/8 and their airtime expires 6months after your 1st call. 2 Packages available are the Regular and Leisure airtime packages

Peak times are Mon – Fri 08:00 – 23:00 and Sat 8 – 12 at NT$ 0.2/sec. Off peak are Mon – Fri 23:00 – 08:00 and Sat 12:00 – Mon 8:00 & Holidays at NT$ 0.1/sec You pay to retrieve voicemail at NT$ 0.06/sec. But they have a chat room on the network and a multi way chat room where up to 20 people can chat via sms.

We were all getting very excited about our teacher’s weekend away to Kenting. The southern most tip of Taiwan. The days were flying past. Ryno is cool and we all get along very well. Good to be able to have a guy friend to chat to when the girly talk gets too much!!! It’s like having boetie here. Ryno is a year younger than Jacques.

Finally the weekend dawned, I’ve done my 13 hours a day since Monday and I need a break!! We packed on Friday night and were ready for the trip!

Woke up at 6:00 and got ready to leave!! We got to the school and the bus was ready and waiting. We got some supplies from the 711 because Mac Donalds was closed! Anyway got on the bus at about 7:05 and got settled …. at the back of the bus….as usual. Four TV screens in the bus, looking like one of our Indian Tour buses. It was comfortable and the movie that started was “The Chronicles of Riddick”. I nearly died, my kind of movie. 5 min later they stopped it and changed it to Harry Potter The Prisoner of Azkaban. Oh ok then. Cool to see the countryside. Very green with rice paddies and bamboo. We stopped about 2 hours later in Pai Ho – white river! The most stunning flowers/lotus lilies etc. Like a bit of a fleamarket. The most amazing Lotus plantation with large pans of the most beautiful blossoms in different colours ranging from shades of whites, yellow, pink to deep purples. I then also realized that I saw seeds at a few flower shops and shows I didn’t know existed until now. Now I know! The lotus blossom after losing it’s petals, the small seed pod is left behind. They take the seeds out and cook it or use it in dished etc. They also put the seeds into gut, like our boerewors and you eat it cooked. Look a tad doggey but it’s quite nice!

Tastes a bit bland and meelerig but good. The seed pods are then dried. It looks like a filled cup with empty sockets in where the seeds go. The lotus leaves are used in dishes too. We left White River and about 30 min later stopped at a small hall in the middle of nowhere. – called the Blackwood Museum. A stunning root/tree stump adorns the entrance.

As we walked inside it was a hall with about 20 -30 round tables in with about10 chairs per table. We were the only ones there until about 10 min into getting our food. Then the typical Chinese tourist buses filed in and within 20 min the whole hall was packed with people. The food was interesting. I have a new favourite food. A fried crumbed prawn in a lotus leaf with a seafood dressing on. You eat the leaf as well.

Excellent!! The funny little seed worsies were in a good sauce, which probably made them more exciting. When it arrived at the table it was on a hot plate, sizzling away! But initially I had my doubts as to what it was and what part of the little animal it came from!! They make stunning sticky rice with mushrooms in a big brown leaf. We finally arrived at Yoho Beach Resort at about 2:30 – we were ushered into the sports bar and waited.

Being South African and needing a break from the karaoke on the bus…yes that’s right you heard me, the whole little setup with microphone plugs etc all for singing your heart out from the comfort of your chair!!! We regrouped and decided to go explore while they decide who’s key is who’s and what everything means. It was 3 o’clock and we were wasting precious tanning time!!! We got our key went to our room, got dressed in our cozies, and went to the beach! Stunning place, well organized and definitely geared to cater for the masses.

People were everywhere, it thinned out as we headed for the beach. No Chinese on the beach, infact there was nobody on the beach but a few fisher man. We found a little path leading to the beach, past the beach volleyball court and the little security booth. We finally got to the beach and stared in a confusion of mixed feelings. 1stl the sea was a stunning array of blues, lights mixed with dark blues. Beautiful! The next thing was the coral reefs above the water line, little shallow rock pools everywhere…stunning!! The problem was that there was about +-100m of coral reef between the beach and the deep blue sea!!! We couldn’t believe our eyes!!! We couldn’t get anywhere near the water on this little PRIVATE beach!

So we found a huge driftwood tree trunk, unpacked our stuff and lay down, our toes just reaching a small rock pool’s warm water. It’ll do! We sat and watched the sun go down, drinking Heineken Ryno brought after a while. All our opening bottle tricks came out when we realized the beer wasn’t screw tops! Who doesn’t make a screw top bottle in this day and age! Really!!! I remembered the lighter trick and nearly killed Teri’s lighter in the process opening 4 bottles of beer!

Anyway it was all worth it and we watched a stunning sun set and made our way up to the swimming pools at about 6:20. Went down a super tube ride that makes Toti’s one seem like a bath tub!! First you think this is nothing, sliding from side to side about 3 times or so then it just totally throws you into a confusion of turns you think your body would follow but noooooooo, you come out the end spinning like a bullet leaving the barrel…..cool!!! Let’s do that again!! Once I find which way is up! We lay around in the pool until about 7:15 and were down at the BBQ buffet at about 7:45…typical. We ran to the room got semi better dressed and were ready for our braai! We got to the table, said hello to the Chinese teachers already there, eating their rice, noodles and other Chinese food and headed straight for the meat section!! The place wasn’t really and enclosed building, rather a gathering place with sleeper tables like at the Firkin or Keg and Chopstix.

All outside in the open. Well, all I had was about 6 stunningly braaied to perfection, juicy lamb chops! My word, they can braai!! Ryno went for 3rds and 4ths, he said he was savouring the moment and didn’t want to let go!! We were thinking of organizing take aways or a few dozen doggy bags, but I don’t think they would be too happy with that! It cost us about NT$780 per person. It was time for the rugby soon afterwards and we were checking out the local sports bar in the hotel. Can you believe that a sports bar doesn’t have the only channel we wanted. Also the only proper sport channel in Taiwan. Star sport. We moaned and tried to check all the TV’s. Even the concierge tried to help when he saw our desperation! But nothing! Great, outside the hotel we would be able to get other channels as the hotel has a limited amount. No transport but thanks for the thought! So we did the next best thing….get someone to sms us the scores while we sit on the beach, drink Heineken and watch the stars like true SA rugby supporters. Worked out extremely well. The spectators/fans, the beer no TV and a n sms every now and then. Needles to say we celebrated as if were there!! The best!!! Ended our supporters party at about 2am and went to bed at about 3. Woke up at around 9, packed our bags and had to meet everyone in the foyer at about 11:50. The girls went last minute shopping for shoes. Beautiful shoes here! We said goodbye, got on the bus and was on our merry way back to Changhua. Stopped a t the fish market again on our way back, I got some more peanut butter brittle type stuff, we watched Garfield the movie, tried to sleep and then some Chinese cartoon…Doraemon. A kind of Pokemon cat figure the kids love here! Between Spiderman and a combination of Fire Dinosaur and fire dragon Doraemon barely holds his own!! I’ll attach a picture if I can find one!

We got home at about 7:30 and found out that we will receive 2 Canadian girls in our already crowded apartment. Went to sleep as soon as we got home. Thank goodness there was no KTV on our way back. Everybody just wanted a quiet trip home….or rather the Canadians and South Africans did!

So the week began and what a hectic week it was! I was paste every night. The Canadian girls never came to stay and they left the Tuesday to find something else. Something about their agent telling them they would be earning NT$15000 more than they eventually found out they would. Not fair! We haven’t seen them since. But somebody saw them going for their medical at the hospital in Taichung. Everything went back to normal. I’ve been riding the bicycle to school these days after Gary had to go to Thailand because his Visa expired before he could get his ARC. Ryno was or rather is in the same position. He got a 30day visa and his time is closing in. The problem is a change in the system with regards to the processing of ARC’s. Where it used to be in Taichung next door they now have to mail documents to Taipei and they can’t check up either. A bit like throwing a rubber ball against a wall in a dark room and waiting for it to hit you at some point. Teri is nearly on her way home to Jo’burg for her well deserved holiday after a year and a half. So the list grows as I write…bring biltong, marmite, real cheddar cheese etc. Not too bad, prices for Pantene are cheaper here for bigger bottles and some other things are similar in price. Will check at the big Carrefour store. It’s like a Hypermarket or Makro and apparently you can get everything there, like a full loaf of bread! Will take my notebook and write down some prices.

We just went through a double typhoon warning session last week with the one Typhoon Aere being the only one really affecting us here in Central Taiwan to West Taiwan. If you get a chance and are interested have a look at the website http://www.tealit.com they have everything on teaching in Taiwan on their site as well as a map of Taiwan where you can see where Changhua and Taichung are and Kenting where we holiday’d. Also on the weather section you can see the weather for the next 7days and on the Typhoon report section all the movements of typhoons are noted, quite cool!! It is exactly like a cyclone in SA. Lots of rain and the school gets semi closed if it’s official.

Anyway, enough for now. Hope you enjoy the first edition as I need to find a way to post the pictures or send them without too much disruption to your PC!!!

Cheers for eers.

Taiwan Times Vol 1 As I promised, my diary I wrote and sent to my friends and family, before the awesomeness of FB and blogging, on my year's teaching English in Taiwan.

#Changhua #englishteacher #Exploring #sightseeing #taiwan #teaching #travel

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