#yes this is about I want you to love me by Fiona apple

[c0ffinshit]

Simon (John Q.) SFW AND NSFW Headcanons

a/n: i knew yall would like that so here are so hcs that i had that i can now share with the world

warnings: controversial, mentions of pussy eating, me speaking my truth

SFW:

okay, first off, this man claims to HATE modern music but… he has a soft spot for Fiona Apple

listen, this man is madddd and if he were a woman he would be a mean butch lesbian

he always drives you everywhere

even when you’re like “babe i can drive its fine” he’s like “no, i’ll drive”

he tells people his favorite movie is something film bro-y like fight club, but his favorite movie is something like little shop of horrors or when harry met sally

sorry im projecting

honestly, he is bad about talking about his emotions like homie doesn't have the words for it so he just gets angry

BUT he learns a lot from you about that

actually, you learn a lot from him too

he talks so highly of you, even before dating

like always talks about how he can hardly have a good and controlled day without you

if you two are a long distance away, he'll always call you and talk about your day

but even then, you two will stay on the phone for hours, just talking about whatever and how much you miss each other

always tries to be a sweet boyfriend and make you breakfast

expect he will burn it and the kitchen will be on fire

i will say this: simon is a sensitive boy, esp with people's emotions like if you're sad and crying about something you called 'stupid' he'll still hold you and tell you how not stupid it is

he HATES when you're upset, esp if he can't do anything to help you

he'll just sadly watch you til you feel better

and when you do, he'll get you your favorite blanket and stuffed animals and kiss you like the good bf. HE. IS.

sorry, my daddy issues are on full display *sobs*

definitely doesn't like it when you call him babygirl or pookie

even as a joke

the man doesn't get that

my man has an old soul IM SO FR

like he doesn’t really like modern TV or music

movies… that a different story

HE FUCKING LOVES MOVIES.

especially if it is like a movie musical or high fantasy (like lotr or hobbit)

maybe a comedy but like a comedy from like the '60s that is probably super offensive now

nfsw under the cut

NSFW:

first off, do i agree with the top allegations for simon? kinda.

listen listen, i only say kinda because of the fact that this man has angry ISSUES

like if you are being a brat, this man doesn’t hold back definitely into spanking for this reason

OKAY I HAVE A THING… when you two do it together, he is very… parental (if that makes sense)

like yes he is daddy we know but like he is the type to whisper “this is for your own good” as he spanks you

two words: BODY. WORSHIP.

this man will kiss and touch your body like it's your last day on earth

AUGH AND AND the look he gives you when he’s inside you FUCKKKKKKK

the look is filled with so much love and gratitude for you okay like this needs to be stated at all but like 8 inches

the type of 8 inches that hits against your cervix in the right way

AND ANOTHER THING when you two first get together, his libido is very low

which also means he is very easy to take care of

soooooo if you wanted to just do a blowjob, you hypothetically could

but then, like three or four months into dating, HORN DOG.

you're surpised when he isn't pressing against your while cuddling

but if anything, you’ll be the one getting head, not him

THIS MAN IS PUSSY WHIPPED.

like he will grab your thighs and pull you closer while eating you out he lovesssss hearing your moans when you're under him UGH

dude but like on the rare time like he will bottom, its lowkey kinda…

JOHN Q IS A SWITCH AND I WILL CONTINUE TO SPEAK MY TRUTH

this mfer groans like no tomorrow when he does bottom

soft,,,, begg…ing

like “you’re so good.” and then under his breath its “please keep going.”

also that boy has a praise kink with hints of degradation

am i saying that because i wrote a whole fic about it? yes. fuck yes.

im chewing at the bars of my enclosure

he gets so blushy when you look at him with your fuck-me eyes

COMMUNICATE WITH THAT BOY.

tell him what you want

tell him where you want it

tell him about your fantasies of him

he loves hearing your voice, especially when you talk in a soft and seductive voice

listen, the only reason i kinda don’t agree with the top allegations is because i believe JOHN Q IS A SERVICE TOP.

i've made my point very clear about that throughout this section

[osamucide]

⊹ THE FIRST TASTE

LET IT BEGIN, HEAVEN CANNOT WAIT FOREVER . . . ft. Osamu Dazai

wc: ~3.6k

cw: NSFW CONTENT—MDNI (I BLOCK AGELESS+BLANK BLOGS), ada+masc!reader, reader has a tongue piercing, pet names (pretty boy and cutie for u), romantic and sexual tension, established flirtationship->new relationship?, a lil alcohol, making out, oral fixation/finger sucking, oral sex (Dazai receiving), cum eating (Dazai lol), patheticzai makes a spectacle of your shyness even though he can't just ask for what he wants good thing u have telepathy with him /j

reid: trade w my sweet friend @rossithepixie / @selfindulgentpixies who masterminded some beautiful osareid art for me <3 (if u havent seen it yet dw i will be reblogging it a million more times but also check out rossi's work neow cause he's super talented). thank you for trusting me with this rossi—it was such a blast to do a little lovesick dazai desperately chasing ur cute lil self into a corner (i listened to fiona apple's song with the same title a lot while i wrote this—is it obvious? lol). i hope u enjoy so much <3

It’s a cute little habit of yours. Unconscious, he knows, but that makes it no less cute. No less dangerous. 

Everyone notices you do it—Atsushi pointed out the jewelry poking from your mouth with awe when he first caught you fidgeting with it (“People can have piercings there? That’s so cool”)—but Osamu highly doubts anyone finds it nearly as charming, as endearing as he himself does. After all, he’s the one consistently wheeling over next to you on his chair to fold his arms under his chin on your desk and admire you unashamedly while you tie a loose end around a sentence in whatever report you’re writing before even thinking about turning your attention to him. 

So diligent. 

That’s another cute thing about you. You've been a star worker, really, since you started. In the months since you got hired, your reports have been nothing but thorough and on time; even your first steps into fieldwork as a detective have been spotless, practiced, as if you already know this work like the back of your hand. You’re personable yet serious, easygoing and dedicated all at the same time, continually proving your worth as a voice of reason and contribution around the meeting table as well as a supportive, kind, all-around more than pleasant coworker on and off of crime scenes. Not to mention, your ability’s nothing to scoff at.

You’re a true asset to the Armed Detective Agency. 

Which is why Kunikida’s glaring Osamu down again, threatening him silently with an HR department that unfortunately doesn’t exist—because, yes, you are for all intents and purposes perfect for this workplace and the blond man will simply not have you driven off by his partner’s insufferable tendencies. 

Even Kunikida’s wrath, however, is scarcely known to deter Osamu Dazai, and that is why, when he notices you doing it again—toying with the metal bar through your tongue in an absentminded display of your oh-so-coveted concentration on and application to your task, he scoots himself right over, rowing on his heels, brushing admonishing stares like he might dust off his shoulder and settling next to you, chin in his palm, feet knocking into yours beneath your desk. 

As expected, you don’t turn to him immediately. All the better. Gives him a few seconds more to admire you, your parted lips, the glint of the metal and your pretty teeth against the natural light streaming into the office on this lovely day, made all the lovelier by the vision of your adorable expression.

But when you do, it’s melt-worthy. 

“Hi, Osamu,” you mumble, turning your eyes to him and tucking your tongue back in to offer him that sweet but aware, workplace-appropriate smile that makes him grin even further. You’d have to be naive not to know he wants to strip you of that professionalism, but you make sure to give him time of day in only the most graceful way when you’re both at the office; for as charming as he is, and for as much as you must shyly admit you find him endearing just the same, you don’t turn a blind eye to his cunning nature. 

And like so many things, it’s a bit of a game that he enjoys—seeing what he can do to crack that competence of yours. 

But today he’s restless, so he punches low from the jump. 

“Hi, pretty boy,” he purrs, gaze searing into you. Signature. 

And just like he hopes, your brow raises and you look away, pursing your lips to mask your reaction to his antics. He usually toys with you a little longer before he brandishes the pet name he knows all too well gets your cheeks glowing pink in an instant—and that’s exactly what they do. Your coyness can’t hide that. 

“Eager today, are we?” you fill the silence with the lighthearted accusation, busying yourself on your keyboard so as to fight off the squirming you’re sensing will be futile to escape this afternoon.

“Yup.” When he pops the p, he nudges your ankle with his own. 

But in your busying, the tip of your tongue flicks out again, and Osamu’s seemingly-aimless display of fluster-inducing attention surges toward its goal, which he’s been contemplating for a few days now, actually: getting you out of this stuffy office (or the all-too public nearby bar you’ve started frequenting with him after hours, strictly as friends it seems—if friends tangle their fingers together after a few cocktails and then don’t make mention of it the next day, anyway) and into his dorm, which he actually tidied up because he calculated with most near-certainty there couldn’t possibly exist a world in which you’d turn down such an invitation. So he hopes, anyway. For as player as he acts, the way you make him feel sows seeds of doubt in him and his usual methods of seduction. You know full well how sincerely captivated he is by you… right? You must. You have to. 

“You know,” he continues, “I was wondering…” 

Mincing his words is never part of his plans. Unless, of course, it’ll draw a desired outcome closer than being direct will. But now, Osamu finds himself almost hesitating, with no prior inclination to do so; he’s wondering, not thinking, like he seems to do so much when you’re near him, and he doesn't know if you fully realize it, but you might have more control over… whatever this is between you than he does.

You tilt your head, still turned to your screen, as if it begins to occur to you. 

“...Drinks at my place?” he spits out—pointedly dropping the “double suicide?” intonation so it’s clear he’s serious—before he can give any more indication that he’s slipping.

When you look to him again, Osamu’s filled the space of his doubt with that low-lidded grin once more.

“Tonight?” 

“Tonight? Oh—” You clear your throat in a way that sounds oddly affirmative, as if you’re trying to keep it from bubbling out too soon. You’re so assured in everything else you do around here, so Osamu, ever the contrarian, regains his balance on the premise of your shyness. When you go to confirm, you’ve all but lost your teasing lilt. The flush on your face doesn’t miss him. “Yeah, that’d be nice, Osamu.” 

Nice. If he didn’t have an image to upkeep, he’d leap up and fistpump the air like a cartoon character. Perhaps, if he were more in tune with his hand-to-god emotions, he’d crumble to the floor in a ball wondering what the hell he’s getting himself into.

He doesn’t do this. He doesn’t clean his dorm, much less invite romantic prospects over to it. You’re new territory in the way he feels freshly determined not to mess up, so he keeps himself composed behind that smile. “When are you out of here?” 

“I can be out of here whenever you’re out of here,” you mumble, your lips pressed into a smirk you won’t let unfurl fully. He wishes you would. He’ll get you to. If he had it his way, he’d whisk you out of here now, clock be damned, and pop open that red dessert wine he picked up specifically for the event in which you would land on his uncomfortable little couch with your tongue lingering in, hopefully, closer proximity to his own. He’s seen you tipsy; you don’t suppress that air of sheepish enthrallment so much when you are, and he’s impatient for it. He needs more of you.

But it’s three in the afternoon, and Kunikida’s abruptly dragging Osamu by the collar of his shirt like a puppy on a leash to roll him back over to his own damn desk, muttering something about how if he had any decency he’d leave you the hell alone and if he wasn’t going to contribute anything of worth to the Agency’s productivity yield, the least he could do was not disturb those who are. 

This makes you chuckle fully as you shake your head. Osamu eats it up—and he doesn’t hide it, eyeing you with something most akin to yearning in his gaze. You have such an effortless knack for putting hearts in his eyes in a way he’s not used to. 

The rest of his shift dawdles by; as a way to pass the time, Osamu volunteers himself to run out and pick up the Thai takeout for those who will be clocking out later than he hopes he will. Kunikida so graciously (read: reluctantly and irritatedly) let him order on his card, so he claimed it as repayment; really, he needed to get out of his desk chair. 

He feels insane watching you play with that piercing of yours, his stack of unfinished reports (or, pre-construction paper planes) serving as no distraction. 

He delivers your spring rolls to you with a wink. He eats his pad thai and fools around on his desktop. He watches the sun streak down the window.

He actually considers getting some work done. It’s nearly torture.

He gets up to leave the second the clock strikes eight. If he was bad at focusing on work before, you’ve ruined him. 

The implication’s all too clear when you’re stepping into the evening air behind him. You don’t mind—it’s evident in your reserved but knowing smile, the one he so terribly wants to unravel. 

His place is threadbare, but cozy. You curl yourself up on one of the two couch cushions while Osamu sets two empty glasses and a bottle on the low table before you—he’s eager, too, for the wine; he’s aching to dispel both your timidity and his anxiety that it feeds. Maybe it’s just that he can’t seem to handle himself positively spiraling over you while you remain enchantingly reticent, quiet in the desire he knows flows between you both. Usually, he’s the one with all the self-control. Tonight he’s counting on you missing the tremble in his fingers as he pours. 

“Kunikida’s such a hardass, isn’t he?” he muses while he tucks a glass into your hand and draws himself up onto the couch, facing you, leaving a respectful but still considerably involved distance between you. Your knee almost touches his. “Berating me for something as little as asking such a cutie to come over for drinks. It’d be more criminal not to, I think.” 

You chuckle at his dramatics, taking a sip. It’s sweet, red. You remind him, “We are coworkers, Osamu.” 

He cocks his head, drinking deeper than you do, with a thoughtful look on his gorgeous face. He hums and reminds you, “We’re not just coworkers.” 

Your chuckle becomes a giggle—one less dubious than the short, amused headshakes you save for the office—and with your next question, he knows he’s pulling you in. You’ve been dancing around each other long enough; he’s warm, trying not to overflow when you speak—you finally sound ready to acknowledge what’s been turning him into a mess for you when you hum and press skittishly. If he had a tail, it’d be wagging. 

“What else are we then, hm?” 

Your bashfulness reads so seamlessly as effortless wooing—he wonders if you’re so purely humble, or actually a mastermind of coquetry. The way you keep yourself veiled, thinly enough to keep him pining for more of you but staunchly too so that he constantly doubts whether the cat or the mouse has the upper hand, turns him to mush—absolute pathetic mush—and he answers a question with a question. You’ve got him going against all sorts of personal philosophy. 

“What else do you wanna be?” 

The answer gets lost between shifting hands, closing space, conversation and jokes that relax further and further as you both stabilize into one another over the following hour or so. A couple more glasses of wine are poured, drank, tasted—at some point in the blackening night you end up astride his lap in the dim lamplight with your glass in triumphant hand, tucking his hair behind his ear while he cups your face, simpers out another remark that makes you blush and wave him away; Osamu looks at you with something you can only construe through your buzz as pure want. Coming down from laughter that screws your eyes shut—he’s never short on humor, which is one of the things you think you love—love? about him, you say it aloud, tell him you do in fact love that about him and if he was all pure want a moment before, now he’s pure shock. 

But he plays it off in his way; you watch the intricate way he takes no more than a half-second to collect himself, just tipsy enough to get snagged on the words love that about you that the half-second seems a feature-length film to you—one you would watch over, over, over again. 

Osamu slides four fingers on one side of your jaw, thumb on the other—holding your chin gently but firmly in place so he can bore like fire into you.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” he asks, half sincere, half flirtatious. Your gaze scatters momentarily beneath his; you take a second, copy his recovery.  

You hesitate before you say, “I think I have some idea,” fully sincere, fully flirtatious. When you pinch your bottom lip between your teeth—not an unconscious habit but an intentional move in this game—he thinks this is what middle school boys must feel like the first time they get close to their crush. It sickens him so sweetly, like he’s swallowed a lump of sugar. He wants more. 

Your breath coils around his between your noses, between your mouths. The wine in your glass sloshes and settles.  

“Can I tell you what drives me crazy?” he breathes. 

You nod like you’ve been waiting lifetimes to know. 

He answers not with words but a touch to your lip—a stroke back and forth that leaves you parting for him. He leaves feather-light fingerprints on the sharp of your front teeth, pushing, slowly, forward until the hot muscle in your mouth cradles his thumb and he’s touching that devil-sent piercing of yours, the ball all at once cool and warm as it twirls to evade him.

“This,” he whispers, chasing the metal back and forth. “This drives me crazy.” 

You don’t respond with anything but suction, a soft bob of your head like you understand, and a hmm.

Osamu thinks he might implode beneath you. 

His attention has hardly ever felt so streamlined as when you search his face, circle his thumb, wet it for him to retract and drag down your chin while you draw your brow together like you miss it—his eyes are all yours, wide and waiting and holding the answers to all the questions drifting around, surrounding both of you. 

The kiss is searing as he pulls you into him—or, hardly has to, rather, as your eyes flutter shut and you lean to meet him, five of your fingers matching his grip but on his shoulder while you suffocate that mingled breath so it becomes mingled spit, mingled tongues. He worms himself past your lips, into you—he almost moans when the tip of his own tongue brushes across the jewelry sitting on the pad of your tongue like a pearl in an oyster. He’s finally cracking you open. It makes him smile wickedly into you. 

Your arms locking around his neck leave him rolling into you hotly, asking for you with anything but words which escape him again now—so uncharacteristic, but he’s lucky you’re both too entangled to notice, for words aren’t necessary right now; he’s ushering your wine glass out of your hand, setting his, too, onto the table so you can wind your fingers in his hair and tug, prompting the sweetest gasps that you echo back into him while he guides your hips across him. The fervor either of you holds is indistinguishable from the other; you grind, he grips you, the harder he grips you the harder you grind and vice versa until he’s biting down the column of your neck toward absolution. 

He mutters your name through an umph; you pick his lips back up the second he goes for air, and he goes for your tongue. When you pull back to observe him, mirroring you in kiss-puffiness and staccato breath, he’s wild between your eyes and your lips. 

“That’s all for you,” he tells you when he grabs your wrist and guides you to palm his cock before you hit him with another question for the ages—one that will not receive a verbal answer but a noise from his throat he swears he’s never heard himself make before.

“Wanna feel it?” 

God, has he ever wanted anything more in his life? The erection he’s built up just from kissing you, moving you against him, is all the evidence either of you need. 

Regardless, Osamu’s nodding fervently, chocolate locks swaying. 

So, you take your turn kissing down him until you’re pooled at his feet, between his knees, with devoted fingers undoing the button on his pants; the task at hand, so sweetly and circularly, has your tongue poking out in concentration as you work his waistband down. Osamu twitches at the sight—he doesn’t mean to mutter you’re so fucking adorable but he does, he does. It’s your turn to grin wickedly as you take his cock out, your turn to tease with your thumb on his drooling tip, your turn to explore with your mouth. 

You’ve had the reins all this time, really—from the first day you sat at your desk, making that attentive face. He must be the luckiest sucker in the world to have ended up here, with your shining eyes watching him fall apart as your honeyed lips guide him toward sweet devastation. 

The first stripe you lick up his underside sends Osamu’s head flying back, jaw falling slack on the end of a breathy “fuck!”

And he feels every stride of your tongue piercing when you wrap your lips around his tip and swirl. 

The sounds you draw from Osamu’s open mouth are like song; diligent in this task as you are every other one, it’s hardly a minute before he’s tangling his fingers in your hair, crooning your name between broken praises that come naturally as you hold him, lick him, look up at him with eyes that he thinks could turn him to stone—if only you had been evil, that is, but realistically, you can’t be anything other than an angel. 

“Pretty boy, you—” 

At that name, you groan. Take him further. 

And through how good it feels, he laughs. 

“Oh, you like that? Huh?” He could pull you off him if he wanted a response, but you’re too heavenly to interrupt—anyway, he already knows how you feel about pretty boy. 

You hum around him—another sensation that sends him reeling with oh, god on his lips. 

“That’s it… Feels s’good on me. Unh—yeah, like that…” 

Indirectivity and grandeur has always been something Osamu considers himself a professional in—everything you do throws him for a loop and the way you bob up and down does him no favors. He whines in the way he does when he’s already going to finish all too quickly, but the fact that it’s you bringing him to his end—his cute coworker he’s been pining after since your first day on the job, the one that’s inspired such foreign feelings of wonder in his long-gone-cold heart—has him unreservedly bucking his hips into your mouth as you rake your nails down his thighs, ardent in this undertaking, bobbing frantically like all you’ve ever wanted was to have him noisy and messy underneath you like this. 

“‘m gonna—oh, fuck!” 

But he doesn’t have to tell you; you feel him, spasming on your tongue against the otherworldly friction your jewelry provides—his true downfall, that thing, and the image of you formed around it—you pursue his climax like a predator pursuing prey, pulling away to give him that false sense of security as you rise to your feet, pounce back over him and kiss him so intensely while you handle him, jerk him to orgasm between your bodies; Osamu’s hoarse, aching as he humps the hole you make with your fist and chants yes, yes, yes, please! into your mouth, tasting metal, never wanting it to leave.

He settles into soft panting as you draw your fingers up; he’s beginning to speak— “You’re so—” but you’re cutting him off so he can suck your fingers, taste himself and the way you’ve shattered him so beautifully. And he does, he laps like a man possessed, obsessed with the flavor of himself if only it’s leaving your skin, before you let him continue. “You’re incredible. You and that piercing.” 

You huff out a laugh, but it’s true. He’s convinced you’re a dream in every sense of the word—how did he get so lucky, no—how did the earth get so lucky to have you dropped upon it, right here in Yokohama, doing such scandalous things with that godly mouth of yours? 

“I try,” you quip with a half-shrug, smiling softly, kissing him just so. 

“Do you, now?” Osamu Dazai, who so often loses those good things before he can really grasp them, takes note of another new sensation—unwavering resolve, in the amorous sense—and concludes that if he can help it, this dream will not slip away so quickly. He can’t possibly send you back up to heaven.

He grabs your hips, pulls you onto him. 

Everything you are—all hard working, handsome face, sweet disposition, and tongue ring—he’s wanted it for so long; it would be nonsensical, a tragedy, to let the same evening air you stumbled in on steal you away again.

This is a dilemma he doesn’t have a solution to; not immediately. 

But he speaks anyway, smirking and toying with the button on your pants, overwhelming your frame to put your back to the cushions—turn you into a mess for him.

“Your turn, pretty boy.” 

[madwomansapologist]

YOU LOVE BLOOD TOO MUCH (BUT NOT LIKE I DO) | RYOMEN SUKUNA

awakened in a new era, ryomen sukuna found endless opportunities to hurt and maim others. he also found you, a sorcerer with an ever-expading soul bonded to oaths of pacifism and self-control. allured by the strength you decided to hide, sukuna realized this era could be far more fascinating than he expected.

PAIRING: ryomen sukuna x reader, satosugu, itafushi, chosoyuki, mechamiwa, nobamaki, inuokko, shokohime, hainana, momomai.

WARNINGS: fix-it; no major character death; canon levels of violence, blood and gore; in character ryomen sukuna; eventual smut; enemies to lovers; slow burn; cannibalism, hurt/comfort; murder couple; awful villains and insane sorcerers; miwa is not useless + i'll add more as we go.

THEIR SHARED PLAYLIST: ptolomea by ethel cain / i am an animal cannibal by mysteron / strangers by ethel cain / tear you apart by she wants revenge / void in blue by glare / me and mr wolf by the real tuesday weld / rule #34 by fish in a birdcage / oxytocin by billie eilish / killing butterflies by lou bliss / that unwanted animal by the amazing devil / relay by fiona apple / nowhere to go by bad omens

TAGLIST: @snowsilver2000 @mysteriouslysweatynight

tell me if you want to be tagged!

BELLA'S NOTE: we're solving plot points with power of friendship, mlm/wlw pairings and a gun toji handed me by accident. think of a dead character. wrong, they're alive. yes, even that one. yes, specially that one. yes, thank you for remembering about this random guy, he's also thriving. in this series i want to explore the quiet moments of jujutsu kaisen, battles within clans and how being perceived as a monster since birth can push people into paths they otherwise wouldn't cross. and blood. a lot of blood. and, of course, i want to make those characters happier. they deserve it. they will suffer a lot before reaching that point, but it'll be worth it.

check it on ao3! ★ check the pinterest board!

ARC I. FEARSOME WOMB

i. a blinding glimpse or the one you politely offered your heart to the king of curses in an attempt of mocking him.

ii. postpone or the one you threatened to obliterate satoru gojo.

iii. the first night or the one ryomen sukuna contemplated suicide.

interlude or the one ct is explained.

iv. three is a magic number or the one with unsupervised kids with knifes.

v. know who to call or the one you tried to protect yuji itadori.

vi. whims or the one ryomen sukuna changed his mind.

others to be add!

all rights reserved to © madwomansapologist

[spring002]

now playing. . . across the universe by fiona apple

scaramouche doesn't understand your antics and how you always manage to pull out a "what if" question out of nowhere. of course, he does reply to all with them, with truth. he remembers when "will you still love me if i was a worm?" was trending and you were reposting on tiktok cute replies to the question. however, when you asked him that question, he said, "no."

you were incredibly distraught, "what do you mean??" he laughed at your demise until he noticed how you were fed up with him. "sorry, excuse me, let me explain."

you glanced at him with a look that only said, "explain yourself."

"okay, i wouldn't love you still if you were the worm. i'll love you as a worm while you're a worm. well?"

"that is so cute but question, so you wouldn't want to turn me back into a human???"

he pinched his nose bridge, "aiya, what was the point of asking, name? and yes, i would turn you back into a human with the resources from ei."

"just asking if you would love me the same." you said with a sigh.

he exhaled a laugh before pulling you into his arms, his hands resting on your waist. you rested your chin against the nape of his neck, the very end of his hair tickling you. you can feel his warmth from his hands against your back. "i would love you the same regardless of what form you take."

you smiled against his neck, kissing it lightly, "you're so cute, honey. it's the same for me."

it's 3am, you and scaramouche is already in bed, but you're wide awake and still thinking about the alternative universes trend on tiktok, "do you think we would still be ___ in different universes?" you know you had gotten the answer you liked from scaramouche, but you just need one more answer to this question and you'll fall asleep peacefully. rolling to his side of the bed, your body stopped at his. you poked his cheek, "honey..."

he peeked with one of his eyes before opening both, "hmm.. g'morning?" his hair was sprawled out on the pillow and his hands snaked underneath the comforter, bringing you closer to him. his hands were so much warmer than your body, maybe because you're wearing a t-shirt. you curled closer to him, stealing a bit of his warmth.

grabbing your phone, the blue light reflecting on your screen, you checked the clock, around three fifty. you replied "it’s not morning yet but i have a question again."

he already guessed it from your tone. "is it from tiktok again?" gosh, do you ask so many questions specifically from tiktok? probably if he was able to guess it again. you nervously laugh,

"unfortunately."

"ask away."

scaramouche was piecing together the random tiktoks you have been reposting and the question from earlier to see how you were trying to ask a question about alternative universes. "so what you're asking is that do you think we would be together in every universe?"

you nodded, although he couldn't see it, he heard the folds of the blanket shift. "i don't think we would be together romantically every universe. but it doesn't matter how many universes there are. there will always be a version of me standing by your side, romantically, platonically, beyond the forms of humanity and even as pixels, 3x3 apart."

you chuckled as you rolled away from scaramouche. he knew he made you flustered from just that. "honey, come back, are you flustered?"

"nooo???"

"c'mere." of course, you were pulled back by scaramouche. "let's go to sleep."

"don't you want to hear my answer?"

"i don't have to. i know what you mean," he rested his chin on your shoulder as your legs tangled with his.

"but i want to express it."

"then go ahead."

"i think you're right. we wouldn't be together romantically every universe. but every other universe, i'll be there for you too."

"very original, name."

"well, you took the words out of my mouth."

[hrrtshape]

　　　　　　　　　. . . ౨ৎ hi. hello. bonjour. guten tag if we're spiralling. i’m emma unless we’re entangled via trauma or mutuals, in which case you may call me emmy or ema (pronounced like an unfinished scream). russian-lithuanian by blood, chronically overstimulated by nature. gemini sun, virgo moon, libra rising, which translates astrologically to “high-functioning mess.” i can and will spiral over a comma. seventeen years old, though spiritually, i’m somewhere between a 19th-century consumptive poet and a divorcee in a robe. i shift like a woman possessed. tumblr’s unofficial barefoot priestess. patron saint of deleting things before anyone sees them.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀┊  

at my core, i am a girl. a myth. a concept. a joke. a well-dressed calamity waiting to happen. i require adoration and soy milk. i belong in a lost sofia coppola film, i require soju before noon, i need to drink coffee because it’s a blood pact. i am, unfortunately, very online (cue kendall roy screaming). i am, as they say, not like other girls. i am significantly worse. that's a joke that probably didn't land. i am like every other girl.

also . . . borderline personality disorder. which is to say, the tragic heroine starter pack. i self-mythologise. i romanticise. i give dinner party monologues that make people a little nervous. and i am a radfem. the “read dworkin and marx before you open your mouth” kind. not the twitter-core terf goblinry.

what else. you want more....lore (hehehe)? fine. . . i am one part rococo hysteria wax figure, one part existential malaise aka a girl...interrupted. a human time capsule of yellowed paperbacks and missed calls. send me a pigeon. my favourite philosopher is kafka because he was sad about it. joan didion’s ghost lingers over my shoulder, whispering, “be meaner.” i have a lifelong feud with nabokov, but i still need him to call me “talent and genius” or i will die....

　　　𝓂y favourites & more about 𝓎ours truly . .　୨୧

i like . . . the bell jar (sylvia plath is my parasocial twin flame who i'd slap for her problematic stuff and then hug) , novels that leave you psychologically marooned (ada or ardor or bust) , kafka, but specifically his love letters (preferably sobbing in a letter) , david lynch’s entire neurological structure. ariana grande's eternal sunshine is weirdly healing to me . . specifically hampstead , imperfect for you & ordinary things.

　　tom blyth owns my brainstem. coryo lives in my ribcage. and billy, don't. i will cry.

jazz records crackling at midnight, a cigarette i'll never finish, fiona apple clawing at a piano. or when songs have an out-of-sync piano at the end with a voice crack. mm.

my letterboxd top four is a gender reveal :  the virgin suicides, pride and prejudice (keira knightley supremacy), twin peaks: fire walk with me, umbrellas of cherbourg. bonus mention goes to wild at heart because chaos is sexy smexy.

　　　　　i know letterboxd for tv shows doesn't exist ( </3 ) but my favs would be 　　　　　succession , twin peaks , south park & sex and the city.　

fun fact !! i have read 120 books in the last year. yes, this is a flex. yes, i am available for recommendations. yes, i will judge you for your taste in prose. jk jk........

　　𝒸haracters most like me . .　୨୧

i ,　FLEABAG ( fleabag )

ii ,　CLEMENTINE ( eternal sunshine )

iii ,　JULES + RUE ( euphoria )

iv ,　THE MAIN 3 IN ONE < / 3 ( fight club )

v ,　ROMAN + KENDALL ( succession )

vi ,　LUX LISBON ( the virgin suicides )

vii ,　LISA + SUSANNA ( girl, interrupted )

　　　. . . basically if she’s unwell and dressed cute, i’m spiritually aligned.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀��⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣳⣿⠁⠉⠛⣷⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⣷⡾⣯⣿⣿⠀⠀⢀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⡇⠈⠫⠟⢿⠀⠀⣼⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣯⣿⡿⠛⢿⢿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣯⣖⣂⣤⣄⣤⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣞⠟⠿⢯⡯⣿⣟⠉⠁⠀⢸⣼⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠹⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⢻⣿⡿⠀⠀⢀⣏⣟⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣷⣧⡀⠘⠛⠃⠀⣠⣞⣿⡯⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣄⡄⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣟⣮⣦⡀⡀⣴⣷⡟⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⣟⣛⠛⢿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⡤⣄⣤⣤⣄⣾⡟⠀⠀⠁⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⡏⡏⠉⠉⢿⡇⠀⠀⣴⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢯⡮⡦⣀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢭⢯⣵⣿⠿⠶⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠵⠻⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

　　𝓈hifting journey & 𝒹ni . .　୨୧

i started in 2020, mid-quarantine, back when scripting a hogwarts dr was a federal mandate. god bless those early drs, locked forever in the archives of bad decisions. shifting and i have had a tumultuous relationship (think burton and taylor, but with fewer diamonds). burnout, life, the occasional existential crisis. these things happen. but i am back. rebuilt. turbo-mode. stronger, better, equipped with elite-level scripting and a healthy disregard for this plane of existence and its people.

i have shifted. multiple times. for extended stays. my favourite dr i'm residing in is my better cr // socialite dr (five months in, not that i’m counting).

i never wanted to make one of these, but people insist on being people. so: the standard exclusions apply (homophobes, racists, et cetera). special mention: if your dr involves sex work and you haven’t scripted out the inherent misogyny, kindly exit stage left. also, if you are weird (and not in the endearing, jean-paul sartre chain-smoking in a parisian café way, but in the way that makes people file restraining orders), you will be blocked. i will summon every dark force available and have you banished to the shadow realm.

be normal. be smart. be unbearably, catastrophically chic. and for god’s sake, read a book.

[person4924]

hi !! i’m sam !! and that’s all u need to know but there’s more under the cut !!

(also im trying to make this aesthetic and cute but idrk how so if u have any tips pls pls pls !!)

yes i’m sad (secretly a dinosaur)

basic info

i’m sapphic of some sort!!

she/they pronouns. for now. gender is hard guys (just like-)

i’m a minor. so please don’t be fucking weird.

i’m american (even worse, the midwest 😨) unfortunately but literally as soon as i fucking can im booting it and moving to norway

i’m like 90 percent diagnosed with autism, and i’m pretty sure i have ADHD and beautiful princess disorder. so u all should basically fall on your knees and kiss me now

i play soccer (defense usually but i like offense more) and lacrosse (i suck balls but it tis The Lesbian sport, so) currently but i also usually play volleyball but i missed the season sooo

im a huge psych and cinema and music and literature nerd so !! basically im gonna be broke by 30

i do have a queue set up that’s mostly reblogs so if you see me reblog one post and then leave for an hour it’s probably that !! want my blog to live on if i die unexpectedly ✊

i have a sideblog that is currently a confessions blog but it might change cus no one actually does it!! but if u would like to do a (general) confession then it is @just-a-little-lad4924

i have another sideblog that is for analysis’ !! i mostly do characters and songs but i’ll do pretty much anything (send me a request please please please please please) it’s @person-speaks

just general facts about me !

my personality type is INFP-T

i have 3 cats!! one at my dads, her name is graci (after gracie abrams ofc) and she’s about a year and a half, and 2 at my moms: regulus (guess who named him!! 😱) and libby and their siblings and are currently abt 3 months !! i could yap abt them forever i love them all sm

my favorite color is dark green (call me a faggot and istg), fav season is fall, fav holiday is christmas or halloween, fav animal is cats or sharks or moths or jellyfish

i appreciate tone tags and try to use them as much as possible

im always bored so asks and everything are super duper cool !

fandoms: harry potter (fuck jkr !!), MCU, KOTLC, marauders, boy meets world, it, osemanverse, paper girls, teen wolf, owl house, shameless, stranger things, andi mack, tlou, riordanverse, brooklyn nine nine, new girl, grishaverse, community, dawsons creek, bojack horseman, criminal minds, dead boy detectives, the maze runner, descendants, arcane, squid games, the sun bearer trials, yellowjackets, the wilds, aftg (only halfway thru trk tho!)

also special mention to shows that arent fandoms but i am/was obsessed with: glee, scooby doo, ted lasso, everything sucks!, atypical, octonauts, will & grace, himym, parks and rec

can u tell i don’t have many friends.

fav movies (not counting fandoms): my girl, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, little rascals, empire records, bottoms, nimona, little women, 500 days of summer, benny & joon, beautiful boy, call me by your name, lady bird, stand by me, RWRB, addams family values, the breakfast club, spiderman ITSV/ATSV, the outsiders, luca, the perks of being a wallflower, dead poets society, big daddy, the edge of seventeen, heretic, 10 things i hate about you, not another teenage movie, juno, we live in time

+ fav musicals: hamilton, tick tick boom, come from away, descendants, the greatest showman, jatp & more i just can’t think of

once again. i have very little friends. and very many issues.

fav artists: gracie abrams, taylor swift, noah kahan, mitski, boygenuis, julien baker, phoebe bridgers, lucy dacus, hozier, the head and the heart, conan gray, RKS, queen, harry styles, the fray, olivia rodrigo, coldplay, billie eilish, maya hawke, bo burnham, chappell roan, the smiths, the revivalists, addriane lenker, lorde, fiona apple, alex g, ani defranco, radiohead, montell fish, lizzy mcalpine, maggie rogers, girl in red, gigi perez, ethel cain,

just general interests: poetry, art, writing, sitcoms, stand up comedy, greek mythology, the sky (like the stars, moon, sun, etc. astronomy metaphors are my everything), moths, jelly fish, ocean animals in general, pretty much just animals in general, 90's movies, cinematography, annotating, musicals, actors, spider man, psychology, analysis (of anything really), true crime/criminology, cannibalism, pop culture

comedians i like (i currently only have 2 but im planning on collecting more so!! also recs please??): bo burnham, hannah gadsby

video games i play/have played: minecraft, fortnite (im not a fortnite kid tho guys i swear), roblox, broken age, the big con, forager, goat simulator (fav 🙏🙏), tlou, spider-man, hogwarts legacy (thrifted dw)

fav books (also not including fandoms): the perks of being a wallflower, the outsiders, i fell in love with hope, ill give you the sun, and more but i dont remember the names atm !

my fav ships (buckle in! i apologize.): wolfstar, jegulus, jily sometimes, pandalily, dorlene, rosekiller, drarry, jeric (bmw), reddie, charlie/nick, tara/darcy, tao/elle, lister/jimmy, pip/rooney, kajemac, sterek, isaac/stiles, malia/stiles, lumity, gallavich, ronance, solangelo, valdangelo, kinda percico, dianetti, wesper, kanej, trobed, joey/pacey, ralvez, spencer/ethan, kindaaa moreid, painland, newtmas, jaylos, harry/carlos (idk the ship name), robin/barney, caitvi (i like to call them violyn tho !), jayvik, 307 (i think that’s it??) or jiyeong/sae byeok, phoenix (aurelio/teo), andreil, jerejean, taivan, lottienat, mistynat, frostbite (jackieshauna), jeff sadecki/mike wizowski (this is a joke pls)

i might have missed a few but these are My Guys. /gn

links!

spotify!! - my character playlists are my pride and joy and reason for living, i could write essays about how each song could specifically fit the character and situation. anyways!!

discord

airbuds - idk if anyone uses this but if u do add me!!

ao3 - plspls ignore my bmw and marauders fic! they were awful but i do not have the heart to delete them

pinterest

tiktok - this is my alt that i blocked all my friends on and i have like my fandom shit but i don’t post that much and im barely on tt to begin with but yeah !!

letterboxd

i have a super duper cool discord server that u should totally join too… link

i have a tagging system

sam shut the fuck up - og posts

asks!!! - asks

crazy? i was crazy once - big lists and essay things, basically me being a fandom freak

sam sings :O - lyric/music posts

and i think thats it!! if anyone has any ideas of things to add then yeah !! or how to make it look prettier cusss uhhhh yeah.

oh yeah and this is an official @i-luv-multiple-ppl fan account so !!

and creds to @cafekitsune for the dividers!!

[diyasgarden]

Meeting Patrick post 2012 when he’s on tour. Is he doing great? No of course not, but somehow you end falling in love with him anyway. Simultaneously the best and worst decision of your life.

And I want what I want / And I want / You / To love me / You

No one in your life get what you see in him. He's a failing tennis player. He seems to be going no where in life. They all just assume the sex must be amazing, and while that is true, you know it's deeper than that. Patrick is magnetic to you. You don't know what about him makes you want him so badly, but you want to his in every sense of the word. You want his love, simply because it is what you want. There is no logic to it. There never will be.

And I know that you do / In the dark / I know that you do / And I know that you know / That you got the protector to pick me up / And I want you to use it / Blast the music / Bang it, bite it, bruise it

It's not that he doesn't love you. You know he does. Even when he doesn't say it out loud. You can tell by little things. The way he looks at you. The way he reaches out to touch you. The way he is in bed. So yes you know he loves you, but when all you get are these small little moments, you feel desperate for more.

Whenever you want to begin, begin/ We don't have to go back to where we been / I am the woman who wants you to win

You're perceptive enough to know there is probably a reason why he's unable to be loud about his love for you. You can tell he's been hurt, and even if you don't know the details, you know it's the type of hurt that takes decades to heal. You're willing to keep your relationship as it is. There is nothing overtly wrong with how it is, but you know it doesn't have to be this way. You won't hurt him like like the people of his past. Can't he see that? You want to be there for him. You want him to succeed. You want him to be happy. Is he blind to this? Sometimes it feels like that. You wish he could see it as clearly as you feel it.

And I've been waiting / Waiting for / You /To love me / You /You

You'll wait for him. You know you will. He's the only one who makes you feel this way. And to some extent you know he needs you. You know he loves you, even if he can only show it in his weird way. So you'll wait. It's okay. It's worth it for love like this.

[rafeslittlevixen]

OBX SEASON 4 RANT

SPOILERS AHEAD

This is just my opinion on how this played out, so lets get into it

Rafe and Sofia: I love both of them (Drew and Fiona) but, the storyline is straight up a fanfic, they took the most common fanfic of Rafe and said "yeah, lets do that his redemption arc". I do think Sofia is great for him, does he deserves her? absolutely no. He was so far beyond redemption the only way he could´ve had it was by going to jail or dying, just like Ward did. They were adorable, don´t get me wrong, that version of Rafe was amazing and I know he was trying to change for her and be a better man, and have what Ward had. But I don´t think he actually loved her, he cares about her, she was what he thought was perfect for him, what Ward would want, but then again, Rafe does not know what love actually is, he cares about her in a way he has never cared about anyone, but I do think it was just for the looks and what would people say. As for Sofia, she cares about him, I would say she is really close to loving him, but if she truly loved him she would have never sold him out to Hollis and Groff. If she had truly loved him she would´ve told him about it when he proposed, I know she kinda didn´t let her, but come on, she had to know it was gonna come back to bite her in the ass. So idk, do I think they made a cute couple? yes, but it was bound to happen.

Pope and Cleo: That was the dumbest decision he has ever made, I get that he wanted to protect JJ cause that´s his brother, but come one everyone know you don´t attack a cop. I think its a bit unrealistic that he got away by enlisting, but also I think if that was the only option it is gonna be great for him. I do think Pope has let go a little through the seasons and I love it, but I think that was out of character for him. Cleo, my baby; she IS a though cookie, she´s been kinda on her own her whole life, I do think she would have figured it out but she did not have too. Pope is, in my opinion, the stable thing she needs. Also, him killing the guy who killed Terrance was also out of character but it made sense and also the reaction he had. Do i think it´s gonna haunt him for life? yes. OH AND THE NO GOODBYES CLUB???? adorable, i love them and their little clubs, they ate this season.

Sarah and John B: I knew she was gonna be pregnant, but the fact that the Pates didn´t let her mention she had a choice, does not sit well with me. John B being terrified of becoming his dad was so good, it gave him a complexity and that makes you see a character growth. Also John B being so protective of Sarah was so adorable, the way he looked at her when they were looking for that apple for her to eat in Morocco was adorable. ALSO SARAH BEING BABY ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO MARRY HIM WHEN SHE WANTED WAS SO CUTE, I LOVED IT. I also wanna thank Cline and Chase, because they do care about this characters and their relationship. Jarah would have sufferd so much if they had not remain professionals.

Pogues and Rafe: The way he safe them???? I get it he wanted his 400k back but also so out of character for him? I loved it but also i know they dont trust him and thats completely fair, but also, after that scene, you guys know which one, thats not the way to make him part of the core.

Sarah and Rafe: my babies, the whole season both of them have been wanting to talk about everything or at least they wanted each other back. I do think both of them would work together to get back Wheezie cause wtf is that that she´s with Rose??? I never actually thought she adopted them. Rafe just wants his family back, or whatever he´s got left from it. I think that after finding out what a backstabbing bitch Sofia is, (Fiona yo te amo hermana, pero Sofia si está bien wey) he was terrified of also trusting the Pogues and thats why he acted the way he did after Sarah saved him, but also finally listening to Sarah and what actually happened in El Dorado and what she told him about being the only family they have left? I do think he is gonna be better and he is gonna be protective of Sarah now, because he knows its only the three of them and he does not wanna lose any more people. Drew and Cline carrying the show yet again.

JJ and Kie: what a fucking mess this two are, the body dobles while being just sitting down near each other in Morocco? The handshake when he was leaving with Groff? They had a great chemistry during season one, the slow burn they were building and how he was pinning after her and he had to watch her be with John B and Pope? He slowly opening up to her? He going crazy when she was kidnapped in Barbados? The reunion after she escaped with Rafe? Saving her from Kitty Oaks? I don´t know what went wrong, but the fact that in most of their scenes they looked fucking uncomfortable makes me sad. She knows she loved him, she was trying to distract herself from him because he was so tough at the beginning, it just makes me fucking sad the way it all ended. Also, no shame to Bailey but I cried more during that scene than she did.

JJ and his parents: where do I begin? He deserves so much better, he deserved a happy ending. I think they also ran with the theory of JJ not being a pogue, but just because they took Rafe´s fanfic they thought that it would be too obvious if they made him a Cameron. He had such a rough life, if this had not happened he would still be JJ, he was so out of character the second part, and I get it. They tried to make us hate him for the way he was acting, but just as he and Kie knew they would not do what Groff was telling them, we know JJ. But also, he was a loved baby, Larissa loved him so much and he had a family. I know everything would be so different if she wasn´t murdered, but if she was able to leave fucking Groff and being with Luke, I do think JJ would´ve found his way to John B and Pope eventually. He would also probably already been friends with Kie and Sarah, and maybe the just maybe he would not have been an ass to the pogues. I do think Luke cared about him, but the resentment toward Groff and taking care of a child who was not even his made Luke that way; but also he probably only cared about him because he liked Larissa, so he felt that he needed to care about JJ for Larissa to care. Fucking Groff, he made Ward and Big John look like parents of the year. I know he only probably had JJ to keep up with appearances but the fact that he played him like a fucking violin??? I know there are a shit ton of mess up things in this show, but that one takes the cake. HE COULD´VE WALKED AWAY WITH THE DAMN CROWN, JJ GAVE IT TO HIM TO SAFE THE FUCKING LOVE OF HIS LIFE AND HE STABBED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM JUST BECAUSE??? no, that´s fucked up.

Idk, if JJ died because someone did not wanted to be in the show anymore I think that speaks volumes in terms of how the set works. The fact that they had to kill the fucking glue of the group and both of the actors involved on the onscreen couple could not act professional to keep it going is crazy to me. If you were on the whole Nina and Ian debacle back in the day, you know how bad this things can get, but the fact that we have a real ex couple remaining professional after a public break up and having their onscreen couple getting married and having a kid speaks on the level of professionalism those two had. I´m more pissed for how JJ was handle than Rudy leaving the show, we all saw it coming, and I do think we all went into the season with the feeling JJ was gonna die but we also had hope of being wrong. I´m so sorry JJ, you deserved so much better that what was written for you, and how the actor who played you handle things.

[clydesavage-thefox147]

CW//Suggestive Content?

I don't think we realize just how dirty Janus' Spotify Playlist is. We've overlooked it so much. In this little analysis post, I wanna point out the handful of songs that show the sluttiness behind the Snake-Man because damn this playlist shows he can't keep it in his pants. You thought Remus is dirty..you haven't seen Janus...

First is "I put a spell on you" By Nina Simone. This song is believed to be about the poisonous and hypnotic throws of love. The dedication and devotion of love. Specifically a jealous love. Of wanting someone who doesn't want you. I'm not exactly sure who this could be directed to. It could be directed at Roman but I think there's another song that hints to that. Could be Virgil but again, there's another song that could be that as well. Overall a sexy song regardless, come on, it has the word Daddy in it ffs.

Second is "Evil Night Together" by Jill Tracy. This song is believed to be about seduction in the darkness of life. The art of manipulation through allure and enticement. Feeling of intimacy beyond ordinary and the unknowns of seduction. Embracing darker parts of yourself instead of holding back. This song to me seems directed at Roman and what Janus did during SvS. Enticing him with the happiness of the callback and the positive praise he's always wanted. Keeping Roman on a leash of temptation for the betterment and self-desire of Thomas achieving his goals and dreams. With lines like "Who's gonna make you a hero?" It only just further shows that.

Third is "Cabaret: Don't Tell Mama" from Cabaret, which features Liza Minnelli. This song is about a young women who has an active nightlife working as a nightclub erotic dancer and performer. She doesn't want her conservative mother finding out about her exploits so she pleads for no one to snitch. It's interesting here because Liza Minnelli is in this and Roman wanted Liza as a wedding performer..and Liza wears an outfit very similar to something Janus would wear...I think you see what I'm going for here.

Fourth is "You're a Cad" by The Bird and the Bee. This song is believed to be about a woman falling for a man, knowing he has a bad reputation. She knows this man wants to be better but she doesn't see a point in him doing so since it's never enough. Even hinting that she could be worse than him, making them perfect for one another and partners in their chaos. She taunts and teases him "Tug at your line" , "Wait by the phone", "You're reckless with my heart" all lines alluding to the fact of attraction. She could and would waste her life on someone she knows is bad for her, she doesn't care. This song is 100% directed at Virgil. With lines like "So now you want the whole world to notice that you've come around, now you expect we'll see how you're really so much better now" and "What's the point pretending that you could be a better man? Just give in since you always end up right back where you began" all hint to Janus being aware of Virgil's departure from the Dark Sides and his attempts to be better and change but he knows Virgil will always fail. Virgil in response with "Ignorance" on his own playlist shows that he thinks Janus is blind to his change. But yeah, very "loving" song towards Virge dontcha think?

And fifth and finally is "Criminal" by Fiona Apple. This song is believed to be about a woman who used her sexuality to exploit and manipulate a man. She feels regret for doing so even if it's what she had to do. This song is basically the musical equivalent of saying "I've been a naughty boy, punish me". Another song seemingly directed Roman. Showing Janus does feel bad for doing what he did to Roman despite it being for the greater good. He knew Roman was sensitive and insecure but that's how he knew to get to him for a betterment. Yes, he knew it was shitty but it had to be done. It also hints to still lingering feelings. Like "oh I'm so bad to you, a villain you say, well why don't you punish me since you like that" You could say it's also directed at Patton with a line like "I've been careless with a delicate man" but that could be Roman or Patton honestly.

So with all of that said, it seems Janus is quite the whore. I mean 2 songs directed Roman in a provocative manner. And 1 song directed Virgil. And just the overall seduction and temptation of these songs shows his slutty nature. Snakes are even common symbols for sexuality. This snake man knows how to play his deck and dick right...or dicks if you believe that lol

[iamgonnagetyouback]

hihi! okay so just to start off i absolutely LOVE and adore your work. as an amateur writer, i look up to you sm; you’re literally amazing!! (especially the way you write enzo bro omg)

i’d like to request a cry-at-the-counter combo please!! i think the biggest thing with me rn is the fact that i feel so hard to love it’s insane 😞 i went to an event with some friends and they were getting asked out, some even brought dates (it was NOT a bring-a-date type thing) and i just felt so lonely in terms of romance compared to them. along with that, im avoidant attachment so it’s like… if something is going good i’ll ruin it for myself and the other person which just adds to the idea that i am not an easy person to deal with. it’s like the fiona apple song where she’s like, “and i know i’m a mess he don’t wanna clean up,” if yk what i meannnn.

i’d like to request lorenzo berkshire for this ask and if possible have him as a romantic interest (if not don’t even fret,, i’ll love it anyway)

anywayayaya yeah thanks for listening to my ted talk, and thank you in advance! i’m excited to see what comes next from you :)

☕ cry-at-the-counter combo — 'handle with care' lorenzo edition ☕

flavour: romantic delusion with a splash of self-sabotage, sunshine in human form who calls your mess “charming,” and forehead kisses that say “i’m not going anywhere” even when you’re already halfway out the door

a/n: omg stop that’s so sweet ♡ i’m literally gonna cry. the fact that you look up to me??? unreal. thank you for being here ilysm ‹𝟹

📦 he keeps a 'safe box' in his room for you you once said you feel like you take up too much space in people’s lives. so lorenzo? he makes space on purpose. he keeps a little box of your favorite things in his room — hair ties, that lip balm you always lose, a sticky note with your comfort show written on it. it’s his way of saying you belong here, you are wanted here, you are not temporary

🎧 he sends you voice notes instead of texts because he knows that if he texts “i love you” and you’re in avoidant-mode, you’ll overthink it. so instead, you get little lorenzo voice notes like: “hey. just heard this song and it made me think of you.” or “i miss you. that’s all. you don’t have to say it back. i just wanted you to know.”

📚 he never treats you like a project this is so important. he never tries to fix the avoidant stuff. never makes you feel like it’s a burden. when you pull away, he gives you space — but leaves little breadcrumbs back to him. a playlist. a silly meme. a muffin from your favorite café. he always makes it easy to come back without shame

☀️ you try to joke about being unlovable and he just blinks at you like you insulted the sun “i’m not saying i’m unlovable, but i am saying if i were a sim, my traits would be emotionally unavailable and paranoid,” you mutter. and this man?? this man just frowns like you told him someone kicked a puppy. “don’t say that.” “what, it’s true.” “no, it’s not.” “yes, it—” “it’s not,” he says, a little firmer, and he pulls you into his chest like you’re a person worth holding. “you’re not hard to love. you just think love has to look a certain way to be real.”

⭐ you panic when things go well and he just shrugs like. okay. try again tomorrow you ghost him for a day because you got too soft and that triggered your fight-or-flight response (you chose disappear). he texts you “hey, you okay?” and doesn’t push. when you come back two days later like “sorry. i was being weird,” he hits you with: “it’s okay. i knew you’d come back.” you?? short-circuit. “you’re not mad?” “nah. you do that. i just wait till you stop spiraling. want a smoothie?”

🦋 he will literally sit through your 3am rants about how you think you’ll die alone because you flinch when people like you and he’ll be like, “okay but hear me out. i like you. and you haven’t flinched yet.” “yeah because i’m already spiraling internally. you’re just not seeing it.” “well, spiral into my arms next time. they’re right here.”

🧣 he’ll call you out when you’re mean to yourself “i’m a mess.” “okay and? you’re my mess.” “i feel like a burden.” “you’re a weighted blanket at worst. that’s not even a burden, that’s a comfort item.”

©iamgonnagetyouback౨ৎ please refrain from copying, translating, or reposting any of my work

[mytaping]

“ well pin me up & call me pixie , it ‘s an intro .ᐟ.ᐟ “

“now i want someone badly…”

ᯓ★ a sweet girl’s confession of identity

⟢ baseline : dolly / ali . seventeen , she / her / hers , lesbian, far-left , enfp , southern , iraqi - american , 5 ‘2.5 , certified #1 shirley temple 🍒 fan , oc maker (proud mama of mallory morgan 🪶) && blitz writer , aspiring registered travel nurse , super interested in pop culture and odd symbolism in poetry . be warned : i love to block people who disagree with me ! this is my page , you will not make me feel bad on my page !

⟢ series : yellowjackets , supernatural , arcane , new girl , the office , friends , house md , hannibal , ahs , shameless , criminal minds .

⟢ cinema / theatre : little women , bones & all , ladybird , the perks of being a wallflower , priscilla , pearl , juno , call me by your name , scott pilgrim vs the world , beautiful boy , heretic , but i ‘m a cheerleader , when the streetlights go out , 10 things i hate about you , girl interrupted , bottoms , the virgin suicides , heathers , hamilton , grease , hairspray , mean girls , sweeney todd , cabaret , rocky horror picture show , ride the cyclone .

⟢ music : jeff buckley , radiohead , fiona apple , the marías , syd matters , billy joel , david bowie , lizzy mcalpine , adrienne lenker , role model , malcolm todd , leith ross , simon & garfunkel , lorde , clairo , paramore , taylor swift , sophie thatcher , beabadoobee , lana del rey .

⟢ masterlist : under construction 🚧 !

⌗ FAQ :

‘ are your dms open ?? ‘ … yes ! my dms are open to anyone and everyone , i love making friends :))

‘ are you taking requests ? ‘ … i am always taking requests for anything ! keep in mind i may not get to them right away as writer ‘s block hits me painfully hard , but i do see them , & i ‘ll most likely dm you updates on it if asked !

‘ why are we not mutuals ?’ … i dunno baby , i always follow back ;)

.. ♡ & ⤿ to be mutuals , comment to be on the taglist !

[adharaantheia]

Songs that I associate with my Deities;

Lord Apollo:

☀️ Would That I - Hozier;

☀️ Somebody To Love - Queen;

☀️ Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles;

☀️ Which Witch - Florence + The Machine;

☀️ Closure - Taylor Swift;

Lady Athena:

🦉 Paper Bag - Fiona Apple;

🦉 Dear Arkansas Daughter - Lady Lamb;

🦉 The Fruits - Paris Paloma;

🦉 It's Nice To Have A Friend - Taylor Swift;

🦉 Labour - Paris Paloma;

Lord Eros:

🏹 Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen;

🏹 Mr.Loverman - Ricky Montgomery;

🏹 The Archer - Taylor Swift;

🏹 Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) - Edison Lighthouse;

🏹 Don't Blame Me - Taylor Swift;

Lady Aphrodite:

💕 Riptide - Vance Joy

💕 Doin' Time - Lana Del Rey

💕 Lover - Taylor Swift;

💕 007 - Tabber feat.Syd;

💕 You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift;

Fun facts about my Deities playlists:

- I searched for weeks the name of Would That I because I thought it had so much Apollo's energy and I've always felt that I was closer to him when I listened the quote of this song on tiktok;

- Whenever I listened to Labour with Lady Athena's, her candle's fire was always moving. I like to think that we bonded a lot with this song;

- Lord Eros has one song of Teen Beach Movie on his playlist, and yes, it's "Falling For Ya" lol;

- Lady Aphrodite has SO MANY Taylor Swift songs, it's like, a lot of songs but I still think that all of them matches her energy;

I have a lot of songs on their playlists, but I wanted to share at least 5 of each playlists in case any of you want to make a devotional playlist to the Gods. I hope this helps and just put whatever song you think it fits them/you think they'll like 💕💕

[serenewrap]

my oddly specific marauders modern au headcanons

if james is white (and even if he’s desi but especially if he’s any degree of white) then he’s the kind of white person who knows all of the lyrics to the childish gambino song bonfire and gets a little too into it every time it comes on (not saying the slurs of course but he just likes the song like WAYY too much)

i firmly disagree with the headcanon that sirius listens to popular music from the current day i feel like his playlists are almost exclusively pre-1990 i also know he’s incredibly annoying about it too like bro was disappointed that remus and peter already knew who david bowie was because he wanted to *introduce* them to him - he likes sufjan though because everybody likes sufjan

james and remus are only children, peter is the youngest, sirius is the oldest but people who don’t know him think he’s the youngest (it drives him crazy but regulus thinks it’s funny), mary is also the oldest, lily is the youngest, dorcas is the oldest, and marlene is a middle child (i know a lot of ppl headcanon her as the youngest but hear me out it just make sense

don’t love the headcanons about the boys having crazy high body counts i feel like they’re far too dorky but i feel like marlene is absolutely ran through (respect tho) - adding onto that i feel like she’s one of those gay ppl who always knew she was gay like didn’t struggle w coming out at all

peter is a bit of a film bro and his letterboxd is IMMACULATE - if he has a flaw it’s that he quotes pulp fiction all the time and they’re all a little sick of it,,,he and mary watch movies together because everyone else finds their in-depth shot for shot analysis annoying

if lily is a lesbian, in her comphet era her taste in celebrity men was INCREDIBLY normal and that’s what got her clocked. like yes babe, i really believe that chris evans and george clooney are your number one celeb crushes! on the other hand, mary’s taste in celeb men would have her put on a watchlist (she spent about an hour arguing with sirius about jared leto)

regulus loves fiona apple that’s it that’s the tweet james is not a fan but he’ll pretend for regulus’ sake (his music taste is shockingly basic so none of the guys ever let him have the aux)

black bros are both terrible drivers,,,james taught reg and it almost killed their relationship and sirius is just accident-prone

casanova remus as a headcanon is kinda ooc (In My Opinion obviously if you like it go crazy) but i feel like remus is one of those people who’s genuinely oblivious about being attractive like,,,he’ll be completely unaware that people are flirting with him/are interested in him,,,obviously this sends sirius to Places

dorcas is BIG into arts and crafts like one thing about her she does not play about those little projects (and remus likes them too they do them together)

[cathynstuff]

✨🎶 when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers (positivity is cool) 🎶✨

@probablyreadinsmut thanks for the tag, love!!

I have tricky uranus/saturn synastry and composite with basically everyone (my own fault for being all uranus and saturn) so struggles and distance are to be expected as part of any significant relationship. Every source says those are big deal breakers. Guess what? I REALLY emptied oceans with a home-made spoon and tore down mountains with my hands. So baby, if love is in Hong Kong, I'll fucking learn how to swim.

(read baby baldwin's "nothing personal" for the "don't k* yourself, time will do it for you", aka essay #3, but stayed for the fluff!!!)

Yes, Toni Morrison, my strangeness, naiveté and craving for the other half of my equation is definitely the consequence of my idle imagination. I'm trying to redirect it to my watercolors and dissertation.

Now one from my hot-girl-home-country because I'm getting more into latam studies/literature these days. Your homegirl is now all about decoloniality (all my mutuals are foreigners so I believe Eduardo Galeano will forgive me for the almost exclusive use of the english language). By the way, WATCH "I'M STILL HERE".

This one because for some reason I consider it a sexy song. It makes me think of california in the 70's with mustangs and mustaches, salt air and way too many cereal k*llers around (bad pun, forgive me). Neat guitar solo as well.

And Chaka Khan because:

#1 it's fire and I feel badass listening to it.

#2 I am trying to work on my self-esteem because Joan Didion said it's not social anxiety but lack of self-respect. Your babygirl must be suffering from the most severe stages of alienation from self because to me having to answer an e-mail feels as if I am being chased by a hungry tiger. My brain's amygdala been working overtime since the early 00's, poor thing.

___

That was it!! Books and music are too tied together in my brain so they always come out together.

Tagging @itwasntimethatdidit40 @slimybeth69 beautiful mutuals and writers who feed me with beautiful fics that light up my life like the sun on a cloudy day (honorable mention to @probablyreadinsmut, already tagged!! Show me more of your fav songs!!)

Show me your playlists and nobody will get hurt 🔫🥸

Ps: God, I love how tumblr allows me to fangirl. Awesome.

[n3onstroke]

HURT: a sans au x female oc fanfic.

author ramble: noel is the mc, third person bc i can’t write in anything else, noel is a fucking simp for error but i can’t blame her, that man is sexy ong, BISEXUAL MC YES GOD, noel has a gender crisis idk, she uses she/her for now tho, lots LOTS of cursing like noel has no filter, mainly bad sans but i might toss ink and a couple others in there idk, she’s a monster, MC is NOT human 😅😅, zombie mc YESSSS, mc is sick of everyone’s dumbass questions, physical illness suffering mc, mc has OP magic, mc used to be human but shhhhhh 😵‍💫🤫🤫, mc has non-binary shape-shifting older sibling 🤗🤗, lots of trauma, sarcastic and passive agressive mc, she’s a likin park fan, schizophrenic mc, fucking batshit mentally ill crazy mc undercover, gore, light body horror, bad flirting, too many puns go away, humour, eventual romance, mc fucking loves baking, mc loves cheese and diet coke, neol fucks around and finds out, W’s in the chat, FUCK IT INKS A LOVE INTREST TOO, Noel does NOT like ink at the start, error loves that, bottom mc on my soul she is, tsundere mc??, she’s korean and so is her older sibling, english is not her first language, google translate, she’s so sexy, asexual / not really into / considering sex oc?? asexual (????) i don’t even know, the furthest i’ll probably write is making out / a little touching but that’s it, HYPERSEXUAL older sibling lol, dust and nightmare know korean, noel when dust speaks korean: 🤭🤭😵‍💫😵‍💫😣, noel when nightmare speaks korean: 💀💀😒😒🙂‍↔️🤨, is my error bias showing with this or no, noel is a type 1 diabetic, she’s also lactose intolerant but loves cheese idk, she also is fucking addicted to chai drinks, chronic insomina, like it’s so bad this bitch is CHUGGING nightquil while dream’s and nightmares powers don’t do SHIT. possesive everyone besides Noel because she isn’t crazy (lie), yanderes?? yeah probably, oh my god this is so long, killer being her number one opp (also a massive flirt), nightmare being an asshole for like…99% percent of the time, dust just being husband material, horror force feeding her idk, cross being husband material too (i love him holy shit he’s so FINE GAWDDD), error being a little shit and making noel lose her shit, kind of ooc error because im crazy about them, all the skellies use he/him fuck u, i’m fucking in love with error, the brainrot help, mc hates this shit, mc sleeps with stuffed animals, mc loves horror movies, mc is actually really smart, ERROR HAS FIVE TONGUES HOLY SHIT!!!, NOEL PULLS ALL THE BITCHES ON ACCIDENT????

GENERAL RAMBLE: INTRODUCTION CHAPTER, CURRENT PROGRESS 0/45 CHAPTERS.

TW FOR ENTIRE STORY, BUT CHAPTERS WILL HAVE THEIR SEPREATE TW’s!!!

PLAYLIST:

POCKETFUL OF SUNSHINE

BY NATASHA BEDINGFUL

HELL YEAH

BY JULEZ SANTANA, AUGUST ALSINA

PITBULL TERRIER

BY DIE ANTWOOD

LOCKJAW

BY SIR-MIX-ALOT

USE YOUR HEART- INTERLUDE

BY SWV

ANIMAL ATTRACTION

BY SHE WANTS REVENGE

MONOLITH

BY TWIN TRIBES

WHY’S EVERYBODY ALWAYS PICKING ON ME

BY BLOODHOUND GANG

THE MEAT GRINDER

BY JAPANESECOFFEE

BROWN SHUGA

BY SIR-MIX-ALOT

FARBEN (ALARM MIX)

BY ORANGE SECTOR

LIVING DEAD GIRL

BY ROB ZOMBIE

TRON CAT

BY TYLER THE CREATOR

SERIAL KILLER

BY SLAYYYTER

GOTTASADAE

BY BEWHY

YOU ARE ALSO LIKE ME

BY NASTYONA

CREEP

BY RADIOHEAD

LEAVING TONIGHT

BY THE NEIGHBOORHOOD

NO MORE

FREDDIE DREDD

ICH WILL

BY RAMMSTEIN

HOLY DIVER

BY KILLSWITCH ENGAGE

FLATLINE

BY JUSTIN BIEBER

CARRION

BY FIONA APPLE

WALTZ (BETTER THEN FINE)

BY FIONA APPLE

GET HIM BACK

BY FIONA APPLE

GIVEN UP

BY LIKIN PARK

THE DEVIL IN I

BY SLIPKNOT

POINTS OF AUTHORITY

BY LIKIN PARK

WITH YOU

BY LIKIN PARK

NIGHTMARE

BY AVENGED SEVENFOLD

BURRIED ALIVE

BY AVENGED SEVENFOLD

DIVA

BY BEYONCE

SONG 2

BY BLUR

TAKE A LOOK AROUND

BY LIMP BIZKIT

PARANOID ANDROID

BY RADIOHEAD

HAND ME MY SHOVEL, I’M GOING IN!

BY WILL WOOD AND THE TAPEWORMS

RAH TAH TAH

BY TYLER THE CREATOR

JUST

BY RADIOHEAD

AESTHETIC:

Tags:

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Newspaper by Fiona Apple is an INTENSELY Kauri and Vince song

I too used to want him to be proud of me And then I just wanted him to make amends I wonder what lies he's telling you about me To make sure that we'll never be friends

And it's a shame, because you and I didn't get a witness We're the only ones who know We were cursed, the moment that he kissed us From then on, it was his big show

I grew concerned, when I saw him start to covet you When I learned what he did, I felt close to you In my own way, I fell in love with you But he's made me a ghost to you

Oooooh yes

Fiona Apple is always there for my angst needs