#yes this is a good use of my cell service and phone battery life

[pockettgcf]

we've lost power in the hurricane! the house is safe and sound for now, just lots of wind and rain, so we're finding ways to entertain ourselves

gege and san lang are busy observing a frog that has found its way behind the window screen. san lang is probably telling gege frog facts as we speak.

[wuxiaphoenix]

Hurricanes: A Brief Suggestion

I’m writing this inspired by a full-on double facepalm the other day watching a tow truck haul wrecks out of a gas station. People, when it comes to hurricanes, like any other crisis situation, the first rule is don’t panic.

(The time to panic is when you are trapped in your attic and the house is still flooding. Don’t be those guys.)

So. Yes. When I was writing this, there was potential for Helene to hit somewhere on the Gulf Coast, at the time predicted to most likely be somewhere in the Big Bend area. Which practically means anywhere from Mississippi to south of Tampa, but hey.

I live down here, so I check all my hurricane supplies before the beginning of every hurricane season. Meaning yes, June. And then I just keep rotating stuff like bottled water, nonperishable food, batteries, etc. That way when something is predicted to be heading this way, I just pick up a few extra things to round out what we’ve got and call it a day.

...This is also why I never let the car get below half a tank. Trying to find gas after a hurricane is Not a Good Idea. First off, the roads may be covered in debris that can shred your tires, water that can sink you, or other nasty problems. (Including alligators.) Second, the stations may not have power to pump. Third, they may be out of gas. It’s happened. Especially with people grabbing all they can to run generators full blast.

So if you’re not local and you find yourself in the path of a storm? Again, don’t panic.

First, check your elevation. Google Maps often has this info. If you’re above about 14 feet, and not right on the shore, just take a breath. Storm surge is unlikely to flood you - and that is the biggest killer. If you have height, and the place you’re in is more solid than a trailer, then staying put may be the best policy. It’s definitely safer than getting on the road at the last minute.

This does not apply if you depend on medications that need to be stored at standard room temperature. If that’s your situation, go. Just go. Hurricanes wreck power grids, always, and the life you save is definitely going to be your own.

Second, if you’re going to evacuate, do it at least 24 hours before landfall. Hopefully 48. The sooner the better. Roads clog up very fast - especially when everyone who does live on the coast decides to bring their boat too. Drive carefully, do not speed, and remember too many people around you are... agitated. To say the least.

Third, if you’re staying put, make sure you have plenty of water. You can fill empty bottles from the tap before the storm hits, for one. You don’t just want it for drinking - though you’re going to want a lot for drinking, especially if there’s no power and no air conditioning. But you also want water to flush toilets, brush your teeth, and sponge off for cleanliness when there’s no shower or bath. You may even need some for handwashing clothes, depends on your situation.

Fourth - hand can openers. And bug spray. You may get windows broken, and the bugs will be everywhere. You’ll essentially be camping inside; even if power lasts through the storm it may go down after when they have to turn main lines off to fix breaks.

Fifth, think of your pets, if any. How would they fare with no power or running water? Either prep for them or prepare to evacuate with them. Note that many emergency shelters will not take pets in. Plan accordingly.

Sixth, communications. No power means cell phones may be of limited use. How will you communicate with neighbors? Local emergency services? Worried relatives out of the state?

There’s more, a lot more; you can find specific hurricane preparation advice on most county websites in the Gulf states. But this should hopefully get you started on what problems you face!

...And maybe start thinking about how you’ll deal with everyone who didn’t think ahead....

[thealvininkwell]

Easter Sunday

I'd been camping my whole life, taking in the sights, the sounds, the smells, just admiring nature and forgetting about all of my problems. It was always something I did with my father when I was younger, but he passed away unexpectedly when I was twenty, so I tried to find a way to do one last camping trip with him.

See, every year around Father's Day, we went to one specific campsite in Appalachian Kentucky. It was secluded enough to where cars and any other motorized vehicle couldn't get through without having serious issues. We liked that. Sure, it was a little more risky if something were to happen, but it gave us time to just bond and catch up. The year he died, I was living in Pennsylvania, so I had to pass through Virginia to get back home to Kentucky, a mistake I wish I'd never made.

All was well, until I hit a city called Clifton. Clifton was a small city of about 200 people. Coming from a small town myself, I loved passing through there normally, even though the cell service there was non-existent.

I forgot to mention I had gotten a late start. Instead of leaving at 9A.M. like I'd planned, I would up on the phone with my mother for several hours just talking about Dad. I didn't get going until around 5P.M.

Where I was in Pennsylvania meant I had a near-twelve hour drive, with Clifton being about three or four hours in. While there, my car started to have some mechanical issues under Colchester Overpass, a small bridge for trains with a short tunnel for one-way car traffic.

My car wasn't exactly in the best shape to begin with, but lights flickering on the dash as well as my headlights was not a good sign. I don't know much about cars, but I remember my dad having this problem once, too. I found out later it was a bad alternator.

My car stalled perfectly under Colchester Overpass. "Shit," I remember saying. Instinctively, I grabbed my phone to call AAA. Of course, there was no signal. I got out and started walking to try and get some signal of sort when I came across a small cottage. It seemed older, maybe late 1800s construction, and had a beat up front porch, like someone had been chopping at it with an axe.

I took a step forward, being considerate of the 'private property' sign. "Excuse me!" I called out, "I'm sorry to bother you! My car broke down just a little ways north of here under the overpass!"

Behind me a male voice spoke out from in the woods, "Can you read?" His voice was clearly aggravated.

"Yes, sir." I replied, "I just need to call a mechanic and I'll be on my way."

After an uncomfortable silence, I turned around saw a figure in the treeline. It was dark, but I could still make out a set of ears, bunny ears.

I was paralyzed, I wasn't sure what to do. Thankfully, something snapped me out of it. He started running towards me. No, not running; sprinting.

I tore off towards my car. It wasn't in great shape, but I had a good battery, so it should've started. Getting in, I turned the key and prayed. The engine roared and I floored it toward the figure, and that's when I saw it.

He was wearing a bunny suit, a beat up, bunny suit with red stains around the hands. What horrified me the most was the fact the eyes were gouged out and I saw his eyes. Brown, dead, psychotic eyes. He sidestepped my car and I heard a loud thud!

Driving until my car gave out again, I probably got twenty or thirty minutes down the road and checked my phone. Thankfully, it had service. My first call was to the police, reporting the incident.

They told me the little house had been abandoned for almost two decades, but they had gotten similar calls about strange activities in the area.

The second one was to AAA. I got a tow truck and they hauled me to the nearest mechanic after removing the hatchet from the back of the car.

As for the "Bunny Man", I have never passed through Clifton again.

[hillbillyoracle]

I've been seeing some similar themes in the tags on this post and wanted to respond to a few of them.

"Do people really not have a device that can act as a radio?"

When I talk about "a radio," I do not mean a device that can also listen to radio stations. A car, a laptop, etc. I mean a dedicated radio - whether that's a little pocket size one like I have or an old school cd/radio boombox (ideally with back up batteries) or a hand crank emergency radio - things like that.

The reasons for this are that I think people would benefit from having a radio in their home to listen when they would otherwise use a streaming service and in emergencies when internet and cell towers often to go down and listening via data is a no go.

I think there are people - and it's not just younger people, it's all ages - who almost don't believe me when I say that those things often fail in emergencies or they think it happens to emergencies that don't tend to happen to them. I've heard stories of towers failing in mild snow storms (Texas Snowstorms 2021), wildfires (Canadian Wildfires 2023), and mass shootings/violence (Boston 2013). Hell, windstorms (no tornados) knocked our internet out for almost a week last spring.

So yes - very few people in my life at least have a dedicated radio.

"I don't have the space."

Check if your phone manufacturer and carrier have unlocked your phone's FM capabilities. Mine hasn't but many do. If so you can use an app like NextRadio to tap into it. Test without data to confirm it's actually working. Congrats on the new radio in your pocket!

If you have even a little space, pocket radios are a great option. They get great reception for their size. I am literally living in a walkout basement surrounded by retaining walls so thick I struggle to get internet from our router - but I can get crystal clear stations from 50 miles away. Unfortunately, most still take batteries so it's a plus if you already have some rechargeable batteries or space to charge them.

If not, some mp3 players (some of which are real tiny) and Walkman style CD players also have FM radio capability and usb-c or mini charging. The quality is a little lower in my experience but if you're in a city or other ideal spot to get signal, then it should work fine.

"You can listen to right wind talk shows and pick apart their arguments." or "You can listen to all the unhinged right wing takes people are hearing in your community."

If you want to listen in a genuine attempt to empathize with and understand the media ecosystems your neighbors are in - I think that's a great endeavor honestly.

If you want to listen to pick things apart, prepare to fight with people in a way that will never change their minds but make you feel "right" and "good" - don't. I mean obviously I can't stop you but like - don't.

Like I am a longtime Leftist, but I don't even listen to Left wing talk radio. Because just like Right wing talk radio, it's meant to keep you angry to keep you listening. It's meant to scare you so you feel like listening will keep you safe. It doesn't really matter what side of the political spectrum it's on, it's not great for you.

Give a shit about your nervous system. Don't self harm it. Hypervigilance isn't productive, it kills.

For those who are curious this is my radio - wish I had a better link but even the company website sends me here.

Not the cheapest, it was a birthday gift. I upgraded to the reel antenna later since it gives me a little more flexibility in my small, underground room lol. I don't usually listen with headphones personally but they work just as well as an antenna. I use eneloop rechargeable batteries that my partner found deeply on sale one Black Friday.

You Should Get A Radio

I want to convince you to get a radio. It can be a pretty cheap one - you can sometimes thrift them even - just something to listen to the music and shows that are literally streaming completely for free all around you right this very moment.

Libraries get a lot of love - deservedly so. They are such a frugal resource for entertainment and the community at large. I would argue that radio is very similar.

Find New Music

Radio can introduce you to music you never would have run across otherwise. Spotify and the like have a goal of getting you to listen for as long as possible. This incentivizes the alorgithm picking your music recs to stay very safely within your known listening profile. But since a radio station is broadcasting to a large number of people, not you individually, you're more likely to run into music you personally wouldn't have picked but actually enjoy.

Not to mention that if you're in the US at least, you're very likely within range of a public broadcasting station which not only has local and national news, but various music shows as well - World Cafe is a treasure. College radio stations, if you have one nearby by, can be hit or miss, but in general, it is a great way to find local and very niche music you wouldn't hear played anywhere else. If you're in a city, you very likely have a couple of hyperlocal low power FM stations - many who serve communities who don't speak English and who have their own unique music programming. I also enjoy a lot of the adult contemporary and "oldies" stations I can get near me.

The Ads Aren't Targeted

On most stations, you'll hear some ads. Some stations you'll hear more than a few. But none of those ads are based on an ever growing mass of information being collected about you and your listening habits to decide what specific ad you're most likely to actually act on. They're just...an ad. When you turn it off, it can't follow you around until you actually buy it.

Also, if you're listening to local stations, a lot of the ads are for local businesses in your community; places owned by your neighbors and the people you live with. For me, it's been a nice way to be reminded of what places exist in my community since I usually go to my regular haunts and nothing else.

Frugal and Fun

Radios can be pretty cheap. I see them in thrift stores pretty regularly around here and you might be able to try Marketplace for one. Mine was a birthday gift and I paid a little more to upgrade the antena later. Mine uses rechargeable batteries but I think they make ones that are just straight up rechargeable now.

Since I can't control the music, I'm not turning to it to skip through music or pick a different playlist or look up a given artist I want to hear because I just remembered they existed. I'm more present, whether I'm just listening to the show or pairing it with something else (recently it's been knitting or solitaire games).

Similar to the way that libraries can be one way you decrease your reliance on subscription culture, radio is another. Especially for public broadcasting stations, the programming is always changing, there are new shows every week, and there are often ways for you to get involved. It's another form of entertainment that often gets overlooked.

It's Screen Free

Not much to say here. It's just a big plus to me. I'm trying to take more breaks from screens and make the time I do spend on screens less addictive. I like that I can throw on a radio station and listen to a show without ever having to resist the urge to check email or something.

Vital in Emergencies

Have you thought of how you'd get information during an emergency if the internet goes out? Radio is a great option and still regularly saves lives. In the event of emergencies, local radio stations are often some of the very first people to get information on where shelters are being set up, where resoruces are being distributed, and how to stay safe through the course of the event. Depending on the event, emergency managers will actually bring in radio equipment to keep broadcasting going if there's been damage to a tower and even set up temporary/mobile station up to get the word out if there's not a local station they can partner with.

On days when the weather isn't looking so great, I often have the weather band radio turned on so I can get the latest NWS forecasts and hear when a watch is issued - phones usually only get warnings unless you go out of your way to sign up for more. And out where I live, I usually don't even get those since cell signal is spotty.

It's a great investment in your safety that you can also enjoy whenever.

Conclusion

Buy a radio. Especially if you're looking to get away from subscriptions and cut costs. You can own your radio - you can't own Spotify. It's also just something I think everyone should have since it's such a vital resource in emergencies.

ETA: I am a young millinial. I grew up with radio and remember a time before the internet so I'm not saying any of this as if I'm discovering it. It's more I've been not only enjoying it a lot lately but reminded that a lot of people aren't aware of everything it offers so I wanted to share that in case it was news to anyone.

[dancing-the-hellfire-rumba]

Seen ✓ - 2

Pairing: Sam x Fem!Reader Warnings: light anxiety Word Count: 2.2k Series Summary: On her way home, Y/n finds an abandoned, cracked phone on the sidewalk. Anxious about the well-being of its owner, she picks it up and texts the first contact she finds; Sam. A/N: Chapter 2! Our pals are kicking it off already. Can you smell the chemistry? The rOMANCE? LESSGO

Pictures used in this chapter were found on google images :)

Beta: no one.

Catch up! : Part 1 Masterlist

Chapter 2: overthinker.

From: y/n_andrews85 To: D_impala67 Subject: I have your phone. That sounds creepy. I don’t think there’s a non-creepy way of writing this. Whatever.

Dear Dean, is it?

I just wanted to let you know I found your phone at the bus stop the other night. I wasn’t planning on holding on to it, really, but I got worried that you may have been in trouble, and then you never really looked for it either so, I don’t know, I figured better than someone who’ll snatch it and leave, you know?

Anyways, that’s why I’m emailing. I snooped through it a little, sorry, hopefully you’ll understand it was kinda necessary? Maybe we can arrange something so I can get it back to you. This girl, Jamie, keeps sending me (well you technically) topless photos of her. It’s not really what lights my candle. I’m assuming you’d like it back too.

I hope you’re safe. Looking forward to hearing back from you!

Y/n Andrews

-

Do you believe me now?

oh god

you didn’t

Sure did

wow. just wow.

you just handed his ass back to him holy shit!

last time he called, he said he dropped his phone while walking back to his motel, so

he’s okay.

That’s good, I’m glad he’s safe.

I was planning on including something along the lines of “This would’ve been easier if you were an active member of the 21st century and used social media”

But I figured the Jamie thing was motive enough?

yeah. topless Jamie? that’s something else.

Don’t be getting any ideas, dude, I don’t do nudes lmao.

oh god, no i didn’t think that

you did not just type lmao though. how old are you again?

oh god, you’re not 14 or something right? i don’t know what that would make me.

Don’t worry about it, I turned 16 last week.

…

are you serious?

Lmao, no, I’m kidding. I’m twenty-two.

But I think the word you’re looking for is a creep. Oh, and an ageist.

ouch.

Haha, I’m joking.

Lighten up, what are you, ninety?

hi pot meet kettle.

Shit I walked right into that one.

also i’d like to think i don’t text like a ninety-year-old man. could be wrong though

to answer your question i’m twenty-four.                                

Twenty-four huh? I assume you’re done with college, no?

Or- wait, I guess not everyone goes to college.

Yes, this is me fishing for information.

well… i kinda dropped out.

decided to go on a road trip with my brother.

things went a little south I ended up continuing the family business.

Damn, college drop-out ey? Where from?

Also, Family business? What do you do?

Is this too interview-y? I’m sorry, I don’t mean to snoop.

you’re good.

stanford. pre-law.

and my brother and i are private investigators. that’s why he’s not in Kansas with me. he’s working a case.

Daaaaamn. Stanford AND a lawyer? And now working as a PI? You’re pretty smart, then.

an ageist and a generalist? i didn’t take you for such y/n.

Fuck, okay, you sound like a lawyer too.

hahahah

so what about you?

What about me?

are you in college?

Oh yeah! Film school. My dream has always been to be a director. It’s rare to find someone who loves movies more than I do.

that’s really cool.

hey i’ve been meaning to ask.

Thinking of me, Sam?

…

Do tell.

how come you were walking home through a park in the middle of the night the other day?

Ooh, I was coming back from work.

I’m a bartender and I had a late shift on Friday.

oh I see. That makes sense yeah.

I’m sorry to cut this conversation short, but I’m legitimately three seconds away from falling asleep. I’m gonna hit the hay.

See you later, Sam :)

See you, y/n :)

A smile creeps on Y/n’s features at the thought of more conversations with Sam. He has given her something to look forward to, something to make her a little more excited during her boring every-day life. As she tucks herself in under her covers, eyelids heavy enough to droop involuntarily, the last thing she thinks of is him, the clever, sassy, twenty-four year old college dropout on the other side of the cracked phone screen. The overwhelming urge to get to know him overtakes her as she succumbs to sleep

--

So

Do you believe in ghosts?

that’s… random.

May be

why do you ask?

Idk, just wanna get to know you better.

that’s what you ask people you want to get to know better?

Yes?

Are you avoiding the question?

no

i do. believe in ghosts.

You?

So do i.

Well, sorta. I guess I believe in souls more than anything.

hm?

Well… I guess I hope (more than believe) that we are more than our corporeal selves.

In the sense that, it’s comforting to me that when we die, and our bodies stop working, we don’t evaporate.

I guess.

yeah I understand.

i don’t know. i guess i wanna believe in science more than anything but i know better.

How do you mean?

call it a hunch.

Oh c’mon, it’s gotta be more than that.

Sam…?

Y/n huffs out a breath, gnawing at her lip. She hopes her anxiety isn’t right, that Sam isn’t sick of her silly questions and existential dread, and is actually doing something. Perhaps his battery ran out.

...Sure.

She was doing something too, before she decided to text him. Eyes falling on all her books and notes, spread around her like ugly, depressing, anxiety-inducing flower petals. There’s a blanket over her legs, chilly fall weather seeping through her bones, and there’s a half empty pizza box in front of her. She’s full and the left overs are kept for her sister, Emily, who’s currently locked up in her room.

Damn it. Y/n is stressed and tired, and now her distraction is refusing to reply. This sucks. She hates the crawling, awful, gooey feeling of cold anxiety gripping every beat of her heart and stupidly convincing her he’s purposefully ghosting her, because he doesn’t like her.

Not knowing what to occupy herself with, she heads to take a shower. In the back of her head, she knows that she’ll probably not study any longer, so she takes it upon herself to sink under the hot water and wash thoroughly, trying to get her mind off Dean’s phone. When her feet step out of the shower and she has towel-dried herself as best as she can, she tosses her wet hair in a haphazard bun, and gets dressed.

Books stack under the rickety, stained coffee table, and she grabs her sketchbook, her favorite pencil, as well as her and Dean’s phone. She shoots Connor a text, arranging a hang out of some kind, and opens her little booklet, when a text vibrates Dean’s phone.

hey i’m sorry i got caught up in something.

It’s alright.

She doesn’t press the ghost subject, because he doesn’t seem into it and she really doesn’t wanna make him dislike her any more than he possibly already does.

The empty page of her sketchbook daunts her. With a tight grip on her mechanical pencil, she urges her creativity pumps to use some gasoline, but they seem limp and dead, and once more unwilling to help her. As her eyes fall on Dean’s phone, like a light bulb out of a cartoon, she gets an idea.

Hey, this might sound creepy, but what do you look like?

She stares at the phone. This feels like a risky question. God, if he wasn’t done with her before, he certainly must be now. But then, he surprises her.

why do you wanna know?

I’m in the mood to sketch some, and my creativity has officially left the building.

Care to help a girl out? Maybe your literary descriptions will spark something in me lmao.

i didn’t know you sketched.

Yeah, sometimes. Nothing great though, I promise. I’m certainly no Picasso.

i mean you don’t have to be picasso to sketch well. and you don’t have to sketch well to sketch at all.

Yeah, may be.

I don’t wanna pressure you into anything, you really don’t have to humor me.

If you do feel like it though, don’t send me a picture. Kinda wanna spark some life into my brain cells.

haha i will. only if you show me the finished product tho.

You’ve got yourself a deal :)

She simply cannot believe he has just agreed to this. Her breath is caught in her throat.

so.

what do you want me to start with?

Just whatever. Idk, tell me about your face.

well

i have brown curly-ish hair that reaches my ears. uh, my eyes are hazel.

Okay, that’s a start.

What’s your nose like?

it’s a bit pointy. thin i think?

Jawline?

sharp? i guess?

this is by far the weirdest thing i’ve done.

Lmao, yeah, this is pretty weird.

Exciting though.

She shouldn’t have said that. Fuck, that is definitely overeager.

yeah it is.

Her stomach feels floaty at his response.

Eyebrows?

uh

normal?

How do you classify “normal” eyebrows, exactly?

i don’t know? they’re simple i guess.

Are you implying complicated eyebrows exist out there?

…

Elaborate, Sam. Are you shy? Do you not have eyebrows? Are they bushy? Or too thin? Or pointy?

i’m telling you they’re average.

Sam

what

You officially suck at this.

oh fuck off how would you describe yours?

Y/n proceeds to write a cohesive sentence that includes adjectives apart from “normal” and “average”. Words like bushy, thin, arched and curvy.

well shit yeah i guess i do suck at this.

i think it’s not a skill i mind not having.

That… is a confusing sentence.

just… draw them however. what difference can eyebrows make?

Oh you have no idea.

Okay, last thing.

Do you have a fringe?

yeah but not for long. i’ll probably let it grow out.

Okay, I can do something with that. Thanks :)

no problem

Her creativity is finally servicing her according to her commands, and Y/n puts pen to paper and scribbles messily. Line after line, they curl and sit on the page, forming a smile with thin lips, a sharp jaw, a pointy nose. She has to guess the eyebrows a bit, and the eyes are more cartoonish and generic than she likes. In the end, she gets anxious at the prospect of having to show him, and gives him a hood, so she won’t fuck up the hair.

Okay, I’m done.

that was quick, actually.

Well I didn’t have much to go on.

Sam doesn’t reply. She worries he might have misinterpreted her teasing tone.

Gimme a sec, I’ll send it over.

Ugh, Dean’s camera is such shit. Do you mind if I send it from my phone?

no go ahead.

[Y/n has sent a picture]

As you said, it didn’t take long. It’s really not the best.

that…

is actually not too far from the truth

it kind of looks like me from two years ago

wow, really?

yeah.

and it’s honestly a pretty good sketch. good job.

Thank you :)

Sam doesn’t say anything after this, and she huffs. Her head falls back on the couch, and she stares at the ceiling. She should go to bed soon, it’s getting late.

isn’t this strange?

Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit oh shit, she thinks. He’s regretting this. He doesn’t like her. He’ll stop talking to her and that’ll be it.

Why does she care so much? It’s a thought that passes through her mind. It hasn’t been long since they started talking and, after the near-kidnapping encounter, they’ve been having nearly daily conversations, but that still doesn’t mean much. She knows barely anything about him.

She guesses, she wants to get to know him better. He seems like the type of guy she’d enjoy hanging out with and she has so far. Stopping any kind of conversation would surely feel like a loss. She’d have to go back to her boring routine. This is the most exciting thing she has allowed herself to do in years.

A part of her feels rather lame for finding such a thrill at something so trivial. She’s talking to a stranger, and that’s all it is, but the prospect that he could be anyone at all, and she’s never even seen his face… well… It feels refreshing, new. Scary in an adrenaline-rush kind of way.

What is?

us. texting.

isn’t it a little odd?

I guess it is a bit.

I mean we’ve only known each other for, what, a week? And a half?

yeah.

should we stop?

I don’t know

Do you want to?

The extra moment his reply takes to arrive makes her want to vomit.

no

Then there’s your answer.

okay then

can I save you in my contacts?

Sure, go ahead.

I just did too.

alright.

Okay :)

I’m sorry, I have to go.

I guess I’ll text you later, Sam.

Go be whoever Sam Something is.

it’s winchester.

Like the shotgun?

yup.

That’s BADASS. Can you even get more badass than this? Pre-law, now a PI, and you’re named after a shotgun? Damn dude.

Well, it’s nice to meet you Sam. I’m Y/n Andrews.

Haha thanks.

nice to meet you, too

goodnight Y/n Andrews.

Night Sam Winchester :)

--- Part 3

A/N: Thoughts? How are you liking the newer version of this? right after I post it, I’m gonna delete the other one.

Taglist:

Old Can You See The Stars taglist: @shutupiminlooove @sammysgirl1997 @kymberlytorres @bambi95-blog @demonic-meatball @thekarliwinchester @littlekay15 @li-m-ii  @thinspo-isuppose @carryonmywaywarddemigodwitch @ellen-reincarnated1967 @moonlitskinwalker @marichromatic @illuminatus42 @lazy-author @mirandaaustin93 @hauntedsiriel @pilaxia @devilgirlsarah @nobodys-baby-now @captiveties @calamitychaos @midiocris @wordswillscream​

Sam taglist @kymberlytorres @theboykingsam @depressed-moose-78 @andi-mendes-barnes @captainmarvelcorps @nerd-in-a-galaxy-far-away @nellachain

[garciaswebhistory]

Crushed; Reader x Spencer

warnings: mentions of torture, rape, possible death

summary: the one time you take off a case and your boyfriend goes, he ends up as a hostage inside of a violent, religious cult

based around S4, E3 timeline “Minimal Loss”

Vacation time. An unknown concept of a job for an FBI agent, especially a BAU member. Every day, the air was sick with energy and adrenaline as the constant cases flooded in.

Of course, as you looked down at your wrapped up foot that had been itching like crazy for the past five and a half weeks, you realized how boring vacation was. Especially when your boyfriend had gone back to work, even though he hadn’t wanted to. 

But his job needed him and his brain more than you needed him to give you a massage every five minutes and follow you around like a lost puppy.

 Always a conference call, neighborhood serial killer, an issue with the public media, or the occasional terrorist kept everyone on their toes, and it was addicting. How or why would anyone ever want to leave?

Sure, seeing a dead body at least twice a month, or the occasional fear of being taken as a hostage was always there. The fact that your life was more at risk than others, or that it was more common to get shot than not on the daily?

 Again, good reasons. But that was what kept you coming back day after day.

You were 25, having joined the BAU three years ago, and like the adrenaline junkie you were with a thing for men in uniform, you fit right in. Not to mention your team that was more of a family then your biological relatives, and your wonderful boyfriend and now fiancé Spencer Reid.

He was 30, with a baby face, sharp jawline, and curly brown hair. He was a doll baby, sweet and sensitive but could take down someone if he had to. You two were just perfect for each other, and it was obvious to everyone who saw you two in the same room. 

You gravitate towards one another, smiling, winking playfully, giggling, and playing footsies. You two were like small children with one another… best friends and the love of each other’s lives.

Just two nights ago, he had proposed to you after 15 months, 2 weeks, and four days of being together (you knew this thanks to your lover boy computer), so you had given him the obvious answer. 

Some would have said that you were moving too fast, but that was just the life of a federal agent who put their lives on the battlefield for the sake of others on a regular occasion. Never once had you questioned him being your soulmate, and you never would. 

After him being kidnapped and shot multiple times, and you being raped and tortured horribly on separate occasions, life just was too precious for you to beat around the bush. Plus, even 

Rossi said that he knew what a failed relationship looked like, and that failed relationships didn’t cook with one another, draw faces on each other while sleeping, or put their lives at risk for one another. 

Again… soulmates. :)

Maybe that was why you had been so happy when you had taken a pregnancy test just minutes ago and had now found it positive. You ran to the couch, trying your best to ease your broken foot that was so close to healing. 

Grabbing your phone, you opened it to dial your boyfriend’s number when the tv in front of you caught your attention. You always kept the News on when Spencer was gone, fearing you’d miss something. Plus the missing people reports and traffic jams in your city were no news to you.

“Here I am, right outside of an underground facility in La Plata County, Colorado that is said to be hospitalizing a cult. Among the cult are women, children, and three child services agents held hostage who went in earlier to do a wellness check. Federal units are doing their best to get everyone out safely but so far the progress has been minimal. I will have more on this story as we continue this.”

You stopped cold, remembering JJ give the evaluation of the case to everyone just hours before you had to say goodbye to the team. It was a call from a teen girl about underage marriages and Cyrus, the cult leader, taking advantage of his young, female followers. The cult was on a ranch, and was its own society basically. 

You had wanted to go, but had been told to stay home by everyone on the team. Spencer had wanted to stay with you, but he was a valuable part of the plan. He was to go with Pretniss and a real child services agent to disguise themselves and not cause any panic. But now… He was a hostage.

You dialed Garcia’s phone, knowing that she would be the one most likely to have their phone and not be preoccupied, although that was already a long stretch. Fortunately though, you remembered that you were Garcia’s third favorite person after her boyfriend and Morgan. 

“Thank you for calling Fairy Godmother and Gizmos, your fairy godmother speaking.” She chimed in, sounding stressed but like she was trying to put on a brave face. “Hey, it’s Y/n. I’m sorry to call like this but I need to know what’s going on.”

You could head typing on her keyboard before she cleared her throat. “Alrighty, here’s what we know but it’s not much. Reid and Prentiss went in with another agent to check out the call and then there was a raid we weren’t aware of. Right now, they don’t have any reason to hurt any of them. I- What? Oh god, oh god.”

You suddenly became terrified, screaming into the cell phone as your eyes laid glued onto the tv screen. “Garcia? What? What is it?” You asked as you heard her heavy breathing on the other side. “Hotch gave me access to their radio so I can listen in, and… they just… Oh my god.” You hated the pause, wanting to both hug and kill her in that moment.

“One of the agents got hit in the raid, but they’re not saying which one. Hold on, I’ll forward you to Hotch.” You heard her clicking her keyboard even more. “Oh and Y/n? Whenever you get in touch with our boyfriend, tell him I’m going to kill him if he doesn’t come back in one piece.” 

“Not if I do it first.” You heard Garcia chuckle at your response, but you didn’t feel like smiling even though she was trying hard. Spencer was in danger. You stayed on the phone until you heard Rossi’s deep tone.

“Hello? Agent Rossi.” He picked up on Hotch’s phone, and for a second you thought Hotch was in trouble too. “Rossi! I… I need you to tell me what’s going on. The news isn’t giving me anything and I… I don’t know what to do. I knew I should have come.” You began crying, letting the hormones control you.

“Hey, listen to me. Reid needs you strong. We all do. Reid is in there, but we have no reason to think he’s been injured.” He tried to explain, but it didn’t help the tears streaming down your face. “What about Cyrus? He said one of them got hit.” You heard a sigh from Rossi and began crying even more.

“Yes, the agent Pretniss and Reid went in with died. But it wasn’t the cult’s doing. I don’t think they’re going to hurt him.” Rossi tried to make you feel better, and he did, but it only gave you more questions.

“What do they want with them?” You asked as Rossi sighed. You could tell he was just at a loss like you were. “If we get the women, children and our agents out, Cyrus knows that we will have no reason to hold back. He has to keep them alive or else he’s as good as dead.” 

“Just… bring him home Rossi. All of you better be at the agency tomorrow at 7 on the dot. Please. I’ll call you back if I hear something happens.” You began to hang up before you heard Rossi chuckle lightly. “Yes mam.”

You sighed in relief as you grabbed a pillow and hugged it against your body, squeezing it tightly. All the times you had taken Spencer for granted, telling him to go to work and not waste his time with you. 

Now, all you wanted was to be in his arms. You wanted to comb through his hair with your fingers and give him a massage for once. Did he know how much you loved him? Did he know how obsessed you were with him? How you would trade places with him right now without a second thought. 

God, you should have gone. Fuck your bad foot, you could stand there and watch. You could watch a building from a safe distance like all of them were doing. You could even go in, and maybe they would take it easy on you and not suspect anything if they saw you were injured.

Anything was better than having your one and only in a building of armed, mentally disordered people with secrets and something to die for. You gripped the pillow tighter, and began silently crying again. You just wanted him there. Was that too much to ask?

Finally, the News updated. “Live from the source. After speaking with the federal agents, it is known that one of the two alive hostages right now is an FBI agent. I am looking right now at the ranch, which is circled with SWAT vehicles. We can only hope that this won’t be the bloody battle it’s leading up to.”

You froze, dropping the remote and watching the back of it snap off, sending the two batteries rolling across the floor in opposite directions. Your immediate reaction was the call Rossi, and with your hand shaking, that’s exactly what you did. 

“We saw Y/n, we saw. I don’t know how they knew that but it’s… it’s not good.” Rossi confessed. losing your attention for a minute. “H- Is he going to die? Are they going to kill him? Rossi answer me!” You yelled into the phone, hearing muffled yelling but no answer.

“I’ve got to go Y/n. I’m sorry. I’ll call you back when any of us can talk.” And he hung up on you, leaving you feeling empty and alone on the couch that you had once sat on with Spencer, in the apartment you both paid for. You glanced at your stomach and sighed, putting your hand on it.

It looked normal now, but in just weeks it would become obvious. When would you take off work? When would you tell the team? Who would be the godfather and mother? When would you tell Spencer? Would you ever even be able to tell Spencer?

No. You slapped your hand. You can’t think like that. You have to be strong. For Spencer. For yourself. For everyone.

You held your legs to your chest and put your phone down, staring at the tv and then at your phone. Please give me an update. Please give me something. 

Hours passed, and although the News did hourly updates, the only change was that it was now nighttime. Finally, you picked up your phone and dialed JJ, knowing she’d be updated on everything and possibly free.

“Y/n? How are you holding up?” She asked, and you again were reminded why JJ was the BAU’s voice to the public. Her soft voice could almost convince you that your boyfriend and team’s life wasn’t at risk.

“Nobody is answering my calls and I’m so scared JJ. I… Just tell me straight. Please.” You explained as you heard her sigh on the other end. “Reid and Pretniss were questioned and Pretniss confessed that she was the FBI agent. She got beat up pretty bad.”

You felt relieved, but also guilty for feeling such. Poor Emily had confessed to save your boyfriend from a painful fate, and you would remember to give her a nice gift if and when she came back. 

“They gave us almost half of their people, and we don’t know why. Right now, we think they’re going to commit mass suicide. There’s no evidence that they’re going to hurt Reid. Just… Just relax.” JJ tried to comfort you, but you still felt uneasy. 

“I just… I…” You stared at the tv as they were doing another hourly update. It looked like nothing had changed. That was, until a large light hit your tv. You put on your glasses with regret of taking your contacts out, and then stared at the tv screen in horror.

A large explosion replaced where the church had sat, and it took a moment to register that the explosion had been the mass suicide JJ had just told you about. “Oh my god!!” You screamed, dropping your phone as you raised your hands to your mouth.

“Y/n? Y/n? Answer me!” You heard the phone click as JJ hung up, but you didn’t care. You stared at the tv, and couldn’t help but feel your heart drop. Spencer was inside. Pretniss was inside. JJ would have told you if either of them had come out. He would have called you surely.

“N-No.” You stuttered, unable to grasp the concept that he was gone. He was hurt. He was… dead. No… You were about to cry out, but your phone began buzzing, snapping you out of it.

You grasped it slowly and brought it to your ear with your shaking hand. “Hello?” You spoke, feeling your voice quiver from the sobs threatening to come out. “Y/n? It’s Hotch.” You nodded, realizing the let down when you realized it wasn’t Reid, but your boss.

“Everyone is okay. I just called to tell you that.” You froze, just holding the phone without noticing the man on the other line trying to get your attention. “What time are you getting to the airport?” You asked, already getting your shoes on. 

“Six thirty, why?” Hotch asked, but you had already hung up. You fixed your hair, put in your contacts, and grabbed the keys, ready to go.

The car ride to the airport was long, but the wait inside the building was even longer. Every minute felt like an hour, and every brown-haired man in the building looked like Spencer from afar. You just needed to see him. You wanted to see him.

You would have called him or texted him, but you now knew he was on a plane, and you just had to wait.

Finally, though, six-thirty came, and you prayed that Hotch would stick to his word like every other time. You waited at the gate, and after checking it three times in five minutes, you knew you just had to play the waiting game of misery. Around you, airport security and employees gave you pitiful glances as you paced, sniffled, and tried to hold yourself together.

Slowly though, you began to sink into your seat and drift off into a light sleep, only to be awakened by your boyfriend. “Hey Baby.” You murmured before closing your eyes again.

Wait.

“Oh my God, Spencer!” You jumped up and wrapped your arms around him, dangling like the shorty you were. “I… Oh my… I hate you so much.” Spencer laughed lightly, feeling your grip around him tightly. “I… I thought you died. I thought… I’d never see you again.” You began crying, finally letting all your emotions resurface. You felt his grip on you tighten as he lowered you back to your feet.

“You were inside and then I saw the bomb and I-” The tears kept you from talking as you buried your face into his chest. “I hate you so much.” You whispered, holding onto his shirt tightly. “Don’t ever leave me again. We need you here.” You looked up at him as he stared at you with confusion. “We?” 

You patted your stomach and grinned slyly. “I-I’m pregnant.” You confessed, watching his eyes light up with happiness and surprise. “Y-You’re kidding. That’s… Oh my god!” He looked overjoyed, lifting you up by the waist and twirling you around.

“I’m going to be a Dad!” He shouted, the few other people around the terminal giving applause. “Oh my gosh, there’s so much to do. So much to buy. So many people to tell. I have to read all those parenting books!” Spencer began to pace around before you brought him back to reality with a hug. “Just kiss me to start.”

[h2omyeon]

You Were Beautiful (KJM x reader)

Summary: You had been in love with your classmate Kim Junmyeon for the last year and a half. You finally find the guts to tell him the truth about how you feel, but at the wrong time. (PS: Chanyeol makes a cameo in this story and Junmyeon is an Art History major!)

Pairing: Junmyeon x Female Reader

Tags: College Student Junmyeon, Art Hoe Junmyeon, bittersweet stuff

Warnings: Mentions of suicide towards the end of the story (not in this chapter)

Word Count (in total): 8.5k

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is my first ever story I wrote and published on here. Feel free to leave comments and I will try to publish each chapter weekly! This story is based off of a combination of dreams that I had which included people who weren’t Junmyeon and Junmyeon himself during the beginning of this whole COVID pandemic (AKA: when things began to fall apart). Like the world that I was living in at that time, this story/dream is just as (I hope to believe) chaotic. I also apologize if there are a ton of plot holes in the story because it was based on a dream and I could not think of any filler parts. Enjoy!- PS

PPS: This is the second to last part of the story and yes, I have written the entire thing already! Because of some personal stuff that I have related to work, I will not be publishing the last chapter until August 16th. I hope you all have enjoyed the work up to this point!

Read the previous parts here: Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 

Chapter 3: Natural Delivery

Your alarm rang; it was D-day. You couldn’t believe you kissed him, the man of your dreams. You smiled even thinking about, but then a rush of sadness hit you because he was going to leave you all from today. It was 6:30 in the morning when you woke up and you could hear Junmyeon and his family starting to pack the stuff in the car and talk to one another in Korean. 

Before leaving for the airport at 7 that morning, your sisters had groggily said goodbye to Junmyeon and he had given them $40 each to spend. He thanked your mother for being so kind and helpful; you and your father were in the car watching him say goodbye. You had a letter in your hand you wrote to Junmyeon before last night, explaining everything you had felt for him and gave him some pictures you two had taken at various photo booths throughout the city. 

The ride was occasionally silent, except for when your father and the older Kim’s would engage in conversations about politics and asked Junmyeon about his flight details. Mr Kim played some music; “Me Gustas Tu” by GFriend blasted through the car speakers and you all (except your father, who didn’t know the song to begin with) began to sing along while you and Junmyeon did the chorus dance hand movements. It was ironic that on the day the person you liked was leaving, this was the song playing. 

“Did you know our nephew was an SM trainee?” Mrs Kim asked you and your father. You both shook your heads. That explained why he was so good at dancing. 

“Aunty, it was for a month,” he replied in Korean, then said: “Yeah, all I did was not get sleep and train all day for something I didn’t know if I actually wanted to do.” 

You all chuckled then went silent, while watching the traffic. You sang along to the rest of the song alone, while Junmyeon looked out the window and then looked at you while you were singing. 

“Y/N, you sing so good!” Mr Kim stated. 

“No, I just like this song a lot, Mr Kim,” you gushed. Junmyeon smiled at you; you smiled back. Junmyeon was definitely a better singer and knowing that he was an SM trainee confirmed the reason why he was so good. 

“Your pronunciation isn’t that bad, Y/N. You kinda sounded like Yuju when you sang at that moment,” Junmyeon said. You didn’t know the members' names, but you were honored. 

After a few more songs and more stories from the Kims and your father, you had finally reached JFK airport. You helped Mrs Kim and your father take out the bigger luggages onto the trolley cart; Mr Kim hugged his nephew for one last time and told him he loved him and how much he was going to miss him. You watched Mr Kim sadly walk into his car and think briefly, knowing his nephew will have to go through the difficult training he went through himself, before entering the airport. While at the airport, you all decided to grab some breakfast. 

Your father and Junmyeon fought on who would pay for breakfast; Junmyeon gave in and your father had paid for the quick breakfasts you all ate from the Dunkin stand. 

“I’ll miss Dunkin Donuts,” he admitted as you all walked to the baggage check in stand. 

“There aren’t any in Korea?” Your father asked. 

“No,” Mrs. Kim and Junmyeon replied at the same time. 

“There are Starbucks,” he disclosed. “They’re way better in Korea though.” You rolled your eyes, remembering the debate you two once had over this topic. 

Once you reached the baggage check in, you all were no longer allowed to go with him past that. Junmyeon checked in his big bags and was given his boarding pass; the flight was at 10:30 and it was 8:00. Before walking into security, Junmyeon said his goodbyes to Mrs. Kim in Korean, thanking her for all she had done these three years. Then, he went to you. 

“I will miss you a lot, probably the most out of everyone here. I said all my thank yous and I love yous last night, but I really love you and always have, I really do. Thank you for everything and I really hope to see you again. Think of me,” he said with a smile. You hugged him tightly; he was so comforting and from today, you would no longer feel that warmth. You were going to miss him deeply. Tears formed in his eyes and you all were about to cry. 

“Stay safe, serve well and don’t forget to call and text us when you get there, Junmyeon.” Mrs Kim said. He walked to your father while you sipped your iced coffee and silently cried. 

They both looked at one another in silence. You knew your father loved Junmyeon like his own son; they had an immediate bond. “Hey, buddy, I know we didn’t talk a lot, but I saw you make my daughter the happiest she had been in a long time. I haven't seen her smile and laugh with anyone for a while and I’m happy it was with you,” your father said. “Good luck with your service and if you ever need any help, you know where to call,” he addressed with a smile. He gave Junmyeon a big hug and they embraced briefly. 

“Thank you for accepting me into your home whenever I needed help. I felt protected and welcomed by you all. And I will definitely call whenever I need your help,” Junmyeon replied to your father.

“That’s what fathers do, right?” he replied with a fatherly chuckle. You all laughed. They hugged again and he walked up to you. 

“Stay safe, okay?” you said, holding his hand while thinking about last night. He assured you that he would stay safe and that he would call you as soon as he got to Korea. Both of your smiles disappeared from your faces when you let his hand go. You all looked at one another in silence. 

“Hey, let’s take a picture,” you suggested. The rest of the clan agreed; you asked a young French woman to take the pictures on your dad’s cell phone. After a few pictures, Junmyeon hugged you all for one last time and walked towards security. You put his letter in your pocket and walked out of the airport alongside your father and Mrs Kim once he turned into a tiny figure in the entrance towards security. 

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The ride home was overcast with sadness and silence; you cried most of the way home. You felt like you were Elio Perlman in Call Me By Your Name after Oliver had left; your father held your hand the whole way home while he looked out the window in silence. Mrs Kim tried to console you from her passenger seat as best as she could. 

“That boy was like glue,” Mrs Kim said. “He brought two families together without realizing it. Thank you to the both of you and your other family members for making our nephew Junmyeon feel welcome, I really mean it. He talked about you all as passionately as he did about those art pieces he studied in school,” she continued. 

“He was a special kid who made my daughter the happiest-” your father admitted. You had fallen asleep by then, while the elders continued to have a conversation about Junmyeon and based on Mr. Kim’s experiences, how his life will change after the military. 

You were asleep for 30 minutes when you were awakened by a buzz coming from your pocket. It was a text message that had come from Junmyeon, but just as you were about to read it, your phone battery had run out. 

“Junmyeon said he is on the plane and that he will miss us all.” Mrs Kim said; she was talking about the text she had received. You accepted that he would be gone for a long time and that you needed to live your life the same way you would if Junmyeon were there. 

To pass time before you went home to live your life post-Junmyeon, you began to sing some songs in your head and one of the songs that popped up was “For Life” by EXO. You thought about the lines: “Never gonna let you go, giving you my heart and soul.” You initially heard the song in 2016, during a New Year’s Eve party your cousin Tiffany had invited you to and imagined some random celebrity as the love of your life you would pour your heart and soul for. Little did you think at that time you would ever find yourself giving up your heart and soul for someone in real life until you met him.

Another hour of traffic ensued and you fell asleep again, this time your father fell asleep as well. You could faintly hear Mrs Kim was talking to her sister in law (Junmyeon’s mother), wishing her a happy birthday, with Mr. Kim saying happy birthday as well before falling back asleep again. 

By the time you woke up, Mr. Kim reached the neighborhood parking lot and after scurrying around the lot to find a spot, he parked his car next to your father’s. Just as you were all about to leave, your father’s cellphone began to ring; it was Angela. She never called your father unless it was an extreme emergency. Angela worked at the airport as a cashier at a duty free perfume shop on the weekends. 

“Hello? Angela, what’s wrong?” Your father asked. 

“Mr. Y/L/N, I tried calling Y/N’s phone, but she isn’t picking up and neither is Junmyeon.” you heard Angela explain through the phone. 

Did he miss the flight? You thought. Your brain spiraled into a frenzy and thought of every possible situation. He spoke English very well, so he was able to understand the announcements and by now he should have flown out of New York; it was 11:00 AM and his flight left at 10:30, a half hour before. You all had left the airport at 8:30. You couldn’t hear the rest, but based on your father’s face, it was not good news. 

“What happened?” Mr Kim asked your father. “Is everything okay? That Angela girl is crazy, but she would never call unless something bad really happens.”

“There’s been an accident.” 

“An accident?” you asked. 

Your father took a deep breath. “Angela called me to say that a plane crashed outside of JFK fifteen minutes after it went off the runway. The flight left earlier than it should have and everything was deemed as fine, but somewhere along the way, the plane’s engine started to act up and despite doing an emergency landing, the plane crashed and caught fire.” he explained  

“It landed in some construction site and based on the severity of the damage and what she heard through word of mouth, it seems like no one survived the crash. She doesn’t know what flight it was yet, but she will call me and let me know.” 

“Oh my god!” Mrs Kim exclaimed. “Let me call Junmyeon. Oh, I hope he is okay!” She tried calling him multiple times; it went to voicemail each time. 

There was no report of bad weather today, you thought. But it did rain last night, so it might have been partially because of the weather. You felt like you were living a fever dream; you were on cloud nine twelve hours ago and now you felt the end of the world nearby. 

“Honey, he already left. You can’t call him.” Mr Kim explained to his wife in Korean. Mrs Kim’s face turned pale in worry that her beloved nephew was dead the moment he was supposed to leave; Mr Kim was consoling her on the quick walk home. They both began to call everyone they knew, including your mother. You and your father were both too stunned to say anything.  

Your mother and sisters had reached the Kim residence after hearing the news from Mrs Kim, and your father went to go use the bathroom. Your mother, and the Kims talked to one another frantically. 

“What happened?” your youngest sister Molly had asked, sitting on the same bench where you and Junmyeon had confessed your love for one another less than 24 hours before. 

“A plane crashed and we don’t know if it might have been Junmyeon’s flight,” you explained. 

“Bro,” Natasha exclaimed. “You really believe Angela?” 

“Angela may be strange at times, but she is not a liar,” you snapped. “This is serious, Natasha!” 

They were just as stunned and by then your father had come back from the bathroom. You all prayed in silence that Junmyeon was okay and it wasn’t his flight that had gone through that tragedy. 

A few moments later, the phone rang as soon as your father reached the house and you all sat on the porch in worry. It was Angela. You picked up the phone immediately, while everyone watched you in worry. 

“Hello?” you uttered. She indicated that based on the information provided to her fellow employees and supervisors, the plane that had exploded was going to an Asian country, although which country and airline it was, she did not know yet. She also said that there were survivors, but did not know how many there were. After a minute’s silence, she got back on the phone and told you the flight number of the plane that had crashed. 

“There is good news and bad news: There are about twenty survivors out of the 178 people on the airplane. They have, unfortunately, not found any more survivors and yes they are still looking. They are being taken to nearby hospitals  as we speak and for now, all other flights have been delayed.”

Angela took a deep breath before she shared the news of the flight. She was a journalism major, so it was natural for her to deliver news, good or bad; despite her natural strangeness, she was able to successfully deliver bad news without crying and good news with a panned face. However, her voice changed, which meant it was definitely serious. 

“It was Junmyeon’s flight to Seoul that crashed onto the construction site.”

Part 5 (and final part)

[uzumaki-rebellion]

“Wet Sugar” [Part 19 of 30]

Summary: Erik teaches Yani a lesson and change is in the air...

NSFW. Mature Audience. Smut.

"Sunshine & the rain Sunshine & the rain I'm feelin that pressure, now, now I'm feelin that same old round and round I can't go forward

I need a boost to catapult me high feels like the come up is way too tight chokin and squeezin' my life, every time"

Joi—"Sunshine & The Rain"

Yani knew Erik watched her from the security cams when she left for the night. She made sure to walk in front of all visible optics in case Neal was lurking for her too. Huntsman commenting on her relationship with Erik frightened her. Did Klaue know about it too?

The thought worried her all night when she slept at Leona's apartment. When she arrived back at the compound to cook breakfast and prep for the dinner meal, she stayed in the front house the entire time. It wasn't until the men left for the day to explore island bars that she even took a bit of time to walk down to the cove to relax. Erik was gone with the men. She had hoped that he could stay behind with her, but he made a point of driving the others into town. She asked him to pick up bottled water and extra batteries just in case they needed them.

The sky was even grayer when the men returned late in the evening. She ignored them all, including Erik. The standing freezer had an abundance of nickel-sized scallops and prosciutto. Yani cooked thin spaghetti noodles with fish sauce and fresh garlic with the scallops and tossed together an Italian salad with the thin slices of cured ham. This particular crew wasn't particular or even cared for dessert, so she watched them eat her food and quickly cleaned up after them when they were done.

She heard Erik talking to the others in the front house den. He was encouraging the men to leave early in the morning before the storm arrived, but the captain of the boat had trepidations about sailing back to Florida. Erik mentioned Puerto Rico but there was grumbling. The point became moot when one of the men turned up the view screen and the weather report was dire. The storm had grown and would pass by the island sooner than originally predicted.

The men would stay longer.

Erik sent her a text.

Go home and don't come back here until I tell you. Get to safety with your family.

She quickly texted him back.

If it gets bad, the safest place here is under the middle house. There is a large crawlspace there right under the kitchen window outside. The panic room is only for you. No one else.

Hug the baby for me.

Yani put together a to-go plate for herself and slipped away from the grounds without the men noticing.

Her Aunt and cousins made plans to stay in a shelter and she packed up pull-ups and baby food for Sydette and a small clothing bag for herself. Piling blankets in her car, she drove herself, Sydette and Twyla to the church shelter they had used since she was a child. It was better to be safe than sorry, and the other islanders who thought the same were already hunkering down for the night. As a child she had survived a Category 3 storm, so she was only slightly anxious with a Category 2 on the way.

The entire night she listened to prayers, a short sermon from the Pastor, and soft whispers from all around her as they all waited to see what the next day would bring. She dozed off around two in the morning but was abruptly woken up with Sydette clutched in her embrace as the wind howled outside the church. It was seven in the morning but darkness surrounded them.

Yani sat up and looked at Leona and Twyla.

"How bad is it?" she asked.

"We were lucky. The hurricane died down and didn't even come near us. Right now we are getting the tail end of a strong tropical storm. Praise God. Them say it'll pass through by evening," Leona said.

Yani exhaled with relief.

She changed Sydette's pull up and cleaned her hands with hand sanitizer before opening up a jar of baby food.

"We should go home," Twyla said.

"I think we should stay until we know for sure it is safe," Leona said.

Yani checked her cell. Erik sent a few texts while she was asleep. It looked like he was awake all night by the number of messages he left for her and the baby. She texted him back letting him know her family's plan to stay at the church longer. She was glad that their cell phones still worked.

Food was served throughout the day and by early evening, the winds had died away leaving a summer rain and the winking of sun rays peeking through the last of the clouded sky. She packed up her things and drove back to Leona's.

There was a time-sensitive notification in her emails that jumped out at her as she contacted relatives in the states to let them know they were okay. Although cell service worked on the island, it was crackly and hard to hear when they tried calling overseas.

The email was from the University.

A nursing student had dropped out of the early summer track for three online classes and Yani was offered the spot because of her high entry test scores. She accepted quickly and took a deep breath. She was going to start school sooner than expected. It meant she could qualify for three prerequisites for the newly created nurse/midwife track she wanted to get into. It also meant she had a shot at entering the accelerated program that was opening the following Spring.

It was happening.

Her career goals were coming to fruition.

Yani took a moment sitting in front of her Aunt's desktop computer in the living room. She touched her chest and felt her heart pounding. As long as she kept up her grades she would succeed. Gratefulness swelled inside of her. The time Erik gave her to relax and do some self-study on her own made her feel confident accepting the early start. She could do this. For herself and her baby.

She grabbed her phone.

"Killmonger."

"You and the baby good?"

Hearing his voice made her eyes water. She was glad she didn't face chat him.

"We're fine. Back at Auntie's. Killmonger…I get to start school early."

"Yeah?"

She spilled out her good news and Twyla walked in on her and saw the joy on her face. Her cousin's hand rubbing her back at the news made Yani feel happy.

School would start in a week.

She was ready.

###

Erik didn't allow Yani to return to the compound until the mercs had left.

He baked her a cake to congratulate her on her early start for school, and he damn near ran to her car when she pulled onto the property with the baby. His hand gripped her neck so tight once he had her in his arms. He didn't allow Sydette to leave his side once he had her back with him. The mercs leaving along with the storm made the compound feel light and free again.

Watching Yani eat the cake he made while feeding some to Sydette calmed his nerves. Their first night back together had them all cuddled together in one bed, and he spent the rest of the week spoiling Yani with fancy food, back rubs, foot massages and nights out with her friends while he looked after the baby.

Her last night going out before she started her classes found him cooking oxtails the way Leona showed him how to do it and attempting to make a decent batch of stew peas and rice. Sydette ran around him in the kitchen of Klaue's main house while Yani got showered for her evening of fun. He made the food for Yani's return because she was always starving after a late night out.

Packing the food up into the fridge, he gathered Sydette's overnight bag and carried the baby into the master bedroom.

"Aye Sweet Pea, say bye-bye to Mama. Kiss!" Yani said holding out her hands for Sydette.

Draped in a fluffy white bathrobe and face unmade, Erik watched Yani give smooches all over Sydette's face.

"Be a good girl for Twyla," she said.

"Be back," he said.

Taking Sydette away from her, Erik drove to Leona's and handed the baby over to Twyla. By the time he made it back to the compound, Yani had on her make-up and her clothes…

"The fuck you wearing?"

She stood in front of the master bedroom vanity mirror primping and smoothing oil onto her platinum-colored hair. Face beat like a Boss Bitch, her eyes dragged away from her own visage and gazed at him.

"What you mean?"

"Bend over."

Yani leaned forward slightly and the short form-fitting white shirt she was wearing like a mini dress raised up and he could see the underside of her ass cheeks clear as day.

"Nah…nah…put some pants on or get something else on—"

"Serious?"

She sucked her teeth at him.

"You ain't got no panties on—"

"Yes, I do."

She lifted up the dress higher and he saw silky white boy shorts.

Erik twisted up his lips. He didn't want to be that dude. He didn't want to sound or look like an insecure pooh butt. Women could wear what they wanted. He appreciated women who dressed sexy and were confident in that sexiness.

However…

"Yani, these niggas be ruthless in the club. Why you gotta have so much ass out? You know they gonna push up on you…I can see your cheeks, girl—"

"Barely. Just tell me you don't wahn mi grindin' on niggas—"

"I don't want you grindin' on niggas with that dress on."

"I'm not changing clothes."

She put her hand on her hip and her eyes challenged him to say different.

He fell back and watched her slip on her heels and grab her small purse.

"Who's picking you up?"

"Lesonne. I'm catching a cab back if I get tired early…stop trippin'. It's really not that short…"

His eyes dragged down to her thighs. He could see the tops of them. The dress shirt flared out on the sides hanging low enough to cover her hips, but the cut still showed a lot from the front and back.

Let her show off in peace.

The click-clack of her silver heels on the tiled floor broke him out of his thoughts of making her stay home with him. He seriously thought of going with her, but she was so bubbly gossiping with her girlfriends that he had to figure out why he was so agitated about a dress. A stupid dress he would've lusted over himself had he seen her in a club with it on. He would've been one of the men pushing up on her if he didn't know her.

She checked her phone.

"They're on their way," she said.

He followed her up to the main gate of the compound, and the longer they walked with her ahead of him, the more time he had to look at her hips twisting as she walked, her thighs all out teasing him. Erik felt that gnawing need to control what was happening. He reached out and stroked the right curve off her ass.

"Don't have them dudes—"

She brushed his hand away from her body.

His eyes narrowed and he pulled her arm back toward him.

"Are you listening to me?"

"I'll be a good girl."

She said the words, but the twist of her lips told him otherwise. He reached behind her and slapped her ass. Hard.

"Ow!"

She punched him in his chest.

"I'll be up waiting for you."

"I may not be back until early tomorrow."

Now he was really irritated.

"So what was the point of me taking Sydette to your Aunt's? We were supposed to have a grown- up night together before you start school—"

"I told you that I wasn't sure when I would be back—"

"You said no later than one or two."

"Well, it may be later than that—"

"So we not fucking?"

She checked her cell and fixed the thin white belt that cinched her waist.

"We'll see how I feel when I get back."

She rubbed his arm and turned around to show him her backside. Jiggling her cheeks, she giggled at him with her teasing.

"See, now you're being mean," he said.

He took his flat palm and smacked the shit out of her rump. She yelped and rubbed her ass.

"Save that for when I get—"

He yanked her panties down and slapped her vulva.

"Killmonger!"

Her hands tried to block his.

"Take them off."

"They're going to be here—"

"Take them off."

They heard Lesonne's car roll to the front of the gate, music blaring, tires screeching to a halt. Yani's phone vibrated in her purse. She pulled it out.

"Tell her you'll be out in a minute," he whispered.

Her fingers swiped her phone screen and she put her cell back in her purse.

"Panties."

Yani stepped out of her tiny boy shorts and held them. He moved up against her and traced his finger along her lips, the red matte lipstick rich on her mouth. He bent down and kissed her, serving her his warm tongue and he felt her body go limp against his.

Slipping two fingers between her legs, he separated her folds. She tugged on the bulge in his jeans. Inserting his fingers into her pussy, he thrust in and out slowly making her squirm. Her hand made his dick lift up so that it pointed at her.

"You wore that dress just to fuck with me," he whispered.

Her eyes were glassy and her pussy was dripping. The sticky fluid from her body made squishy sounds. He kept manipulating her folds until her legs shook. She vacillated between biting her lips, staring down at his fingers, and closing her eyes as he varied the depth and speed of his digits inside of her.

"Erik…fuck…"

"You come home at a decent hour so I can get in all this. Hear?"

Yani bit her lips as she tried to stifle the tiny groans coming from her mouth.

"I should fuck you right now, right here," he said.

"They're waiting…"

"So."

"Huuhnnn…"

Her hands rested against his chest, her warm fingers, pushing him back.

Hooking his fingers, Erik tapped on her walls and let his thumb flick over her clit.

"I should pick you up and let you slide down this dick. Fuck you standing up—"

"Stop!"

Yani removed his fingers from her slit and stepped away from him.

"Let me get going. I'll let you have it all when I get back."

He spun her around and pushed her against the gate. Dropping to his knees he pulled her soft ass cheeks apart and shoved his entire face into her pussy lips.

He heard Yani's hands slam against the metal gate bracing herself and she pushed her backside out giving him even more access to her private parts. Sliding his tongue along her outer labia, he licked his bottom lip that was wet with saliva.

He heard faint sounds escape her mouth as she tried to keep quiet as her friends waited on the other side of the gate. Shoving his tongue deep inside of her, Yani rocked her hips back to smash her ass into his face and he loved it. He gripped his dick through his pants and squeezed his balls to keep himself from cumming. He wanted to be knee-deep in her walls when he did that.

Removing his tongue, he let Yani's ass strike his face, getting his beard drenched with her sweet fluids. He had her soaking wet. It was time to make her pussy submit. Erik became a flurry of fingers and wet tongue kissing as he licked her engorged labia like icing off a cake. Bathing her pussy with his saliva, he dragged his tongue along all the sensitive parts that made her melt in his mouth.

"Daddy gon' chop this peach up when you get back."

He felt the heavy throbbing weight between his legs and before the surge from his balls could overtake him, Yani shuddered while his lips sucked on her clit, her release making her plump vulva spasm.

"Pussy sloppy, baby…"

He licked up all the excess juices that poured from her and kissed her folds gently, his full lips pressing against her skin, still feeling the slight spasms from the tail end of her orgasm.

"Watch yourself," he said.

She pulled her panties back on while he stood up and adjusted his dick. He was so horny for her.

"Just gonna leave Daddy like this?"

She rolled her eyes and he opened the gate for her.

His erection grew more rigid as he watched her walk away from him and get into the car.

Such a tease.

###

Erik surveyed some gun schematics on his laptop. It was nearing midnight and he was restless. He had tried to watch porn earlier, but none of the women he saw online excited him enough to rub one out. All he had eyes for was Yani and that mini dress. He took out some weed he got from Kendall and rolled a tight one. The baby wasn't there so he felt cool about indulging.

His cell buzzed and when he checked it, there were a series of pictures that Yani sent him. A few group shots with her friends, but a few with men at the club posing with her crew, and sure enough, that fucking dress was doing too much.

He went back to looking at gun designs and another text blew up his phone.

A video.

Yani and her girls dancing, but Yani was winding on some Rasta looking clown who was pressed up against her.

"See, this the shit I was talking about," he grumbled.

It didn't matter. He was going to use up a whole bottle of lube when she came home. A long drag on his herb had him toasted. Shit was potent as fuck.

The clip was only a minute long but long enough to let him know she was buzzing and showing off. Her girlfriends were egging her on and just as tipsy and feisty as she was.

He texted her.

Slow your roll, Ma. For real.

You not my daddy, lol!

She sent him more pictures, trying her best to be provocative. He didn't fall for it.

It wasn't until he saw a thirty-second video clip of another man grinding on her and patting her vulva through her dress that he jumped off the couch.

###

"We run tings. Tings nuh run we!"

The Flourgon song made Yani's hips dip, and she watched the crowd dance while she sipped on her apple martini in the V.I.P. section she reserved for her friends. It was ladies' night, and this particular club was a diverse mix of locals and white tourists. She liked the booth they were set up in. They could see what was happening around the club, but other patrons couldn't see what they were doing.

All of her friends were happy for her, and she was cutting up in the club with them, feeling powerful and ready to take on the world. Bottle service was popping and she was given extra drinks for free because of her connection to Kendall who had performed there the previous weekend.

The music switched to R&B and Yani followed her friends onto the floor and they became ridiculous with their dancing. She kicked off her heels and swung them in her hand as she downed shots and sang off-key to the music with her girls.

She took out her cell and took more video shots to send to Erik. She posted two pictures on her social media page of the group shots she had in their V.I.P. booth. On her way back to her section, she stopped by the bar to order hot wings and potato poppers to snack on and soak up the liquor in her belly.

Stepping near her booth, Lesonne tugged on her arm.

"Is that your man?"

Yani was confused by the question until she saw Erik bee-lining his way toward her. His lips were tight when he reached her group.

"There she is, Miz fatness."

The gruff island voice startled Yani as a man she had danced with earlier rubbed up against her, his hand sliding around her waist, his locs falling against her cheek.

In front of Erik.

Her man's eyes lowered to stare at the stranger's hand and Yani moved up on the single step that led to her booth to separate herself from the man. Her friends filed behind her, their eyes taking in the whole scene.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

Erik shoved past the other man, his shoulder knocking him aside.

"Aye!"

"Fuck you want?" Erik said.

The stranger looked Erik up and down, and what he saw made him move along without another word.

Yani's friends stood away from them, leaning against the railing that separated their section. They looked out onto the dance floor. The tone of Erik's voice made Yani nervous.

"Why yuh here?"

She eased him into a corner of their section where no one on the floor could see them too well. But her friends could hear everything.

"You tryna be too cute. That's why I'm here. Got niggas touching your pussy in public—"

Yani heard her friend Milah let out an "Ooh…I knew it."

His eyes were on her dress again.

"Please. Don't make a scene, man. Not here. We're having a good time. You didn't need to come down here to tell me that. Coulda texted—"

"Nah, you wanted this attention."

His eyes were blazing. She caught a whiff of weed from his breath.

Lesonne placed a shot glass into Erik's hand.

"Drink up. It's a celebration," Lesonne said.

Erik tossed back the tequila and Yani moved over to the railing to watch the crowd and divert Erik's attention. She was shocked when she felt his palm strike under her ass. He pressed up against her and let his hands grip the railing, trapping her there. His hot breath tickled her ear as he leaned in to whisper.

"Didn't I tell you to watch yourself before you left? You think I was playing?"

"It was nothin'."

His hand reached down and clutched at her mound.

"He had his hand on you like this. Bitch, I can feel how fat your puss is through this dress. You let that nigga touch my shit."

Yani's eyes darted to the side. All four of her friends had their eyes glued to the dance floor, but she knew their ears were stinging from Erik's words.

"Let's talk about this at home—"

"No."

His voice was raspy against her ear.

"You tryna get fucked in the club?"

Now he was getting loud. She tried to turn around but he kept her in place, his groin shoved hard against her ass. She turned her head and his lips met hers. He wasn't gentle with her mouth, but he was gentle with his hips rocking into her. He dropped his right hand down and wiggled his fingers under the front of her dress and slipped them down her panties. The stimulation from his fingers across her plump clit had her mewling and pushing back against him. The blood in her body thrummed hot as his tongue slid against hers. No matter what happened between them, his kisses always disarmed her.

Her head dropped forward when his fingers sunk into her pussy.

"This what you wanted?"

"Ooh."

He was digging deep.

"I saw you out there dancing. All this big ass out in the open…"

Her friends pretended not to notice, but they could hear everything. Even her wet folds being assailed by his hand.

Erik removed his hand from her slit for a few seconds, and she felt him unzip his pants and lift up the back of her dress. She gripped her fingers around the railing. Two of her friends slipped away to the dance floor. The other two stood rooted, heads facing forward. Erik yanked her panties down to her knees.

Her skin felt tingly and once she felt him lining his glans against her opening, she accepted what she had done. She wanted to incite his ardor. She wanted to flaunt her body to get him enflamed for her. She wanted him begging for her pussy. At home.

But no.

He drove all the way across the island, walked into this club so he could-

"Fuck, Killmonger!"

His dick stretched out her opening, and from the angle he entered her, the head of his dick tugged down on her clit and the sensation shot out a hot ripple of pleasure up to her nipples and down to her toes.

From the floor, if anyone looked up, they would simply look like a couple hugged up watching the action. Erik kept his hands gripped on her waist as he rocked into her.

"Fucking slut."

His words slurred in her ear.

"Look at your friends. Making them watch Daddy fuck you like this."

Her eyes flicked over to glance at Milah and Lesonne who stayed behind. Milah's eyes were brazen and aroused watching Yani get pounded in public. Her eyes trailed down Yani's body until she was staring at Erik's dick pumping in and out of her.

"Shit, Yani. Yuh nasty. Him beating up that pum pum," Milah said.

Erik dragged her over to the back of the VIP section and away from her friends, his dick still rooted deep within her. He grabbed her arms to balance himself and really started to thrust. Yani chewed on her lips trying to keep quiet, but a few cries got out, drowned by the loud bass thudding throughout the club. Her balance was thrown off when he released her arms and she reached out to hold onto the wall.

Erik yanked her underwear back up as he pulled out.

"Be still."

She whimpered as he placed his erection between her thighs and jerked off his load into her panties. He swallowed the grunts in his throat as the last of his semen spilled out.

"Pull your panties back up," he said.

Yani did as she was told, her soaked underwear sticking to her vulva. She smoothed down her dress and still felt the thumping of her clit. She turned to face him and he zipped up his pants.

"Let somebody touch my shit now, girl."

He looked at her friends who avoided eye contact with both of them and left her standing there. They watched him move through the crowd, his swagger so acute that Yani had to pour herself a glass of champagne and gulp it down.

Panties filled with cum and a face filled with embarrassment, Yani said nothing to Milah or Lesonne.

###

Erik was reading in bed when Yani returned to the compound. He'd been at the house for over an hour before she came back.

She showered and crawled onto the bed next to him. He ignored her, even though she was butt naked. After a time, he put the book on the nightstand and looked at her.

"Rest of the night was cool?"

"Yeah."

His eyes tried not to stare at her body too much, but he couldn't help it. Her face looked pouty. He pinched one of her nipples.

"You fucked me in front of my friends."

"So. They didn't look bothered by it. They say something?"

"Not really."

"You need to apologize to me."

"For what?"

"Making me come out there. I had shit to do here. But you got out of pocket. Stole some work time from me."

Her fingers stroked his naked chest tracing the skin between his keloids.

"I'm sorry."

"Nah. Not like that. You know what I want."

He pulled the covers back from his body and lifted up his dick. Her fingers clasped it and she lowered her head and wrapped her lips around it.

"Damn," he hissed.

Once she had him standing at attention, her fingers slipped between her legs and she fondled her clit.

"Get it ready for me. You got some making up to do."

Her mouth sucked and licked up and down the sides of his length and he groaned from her loving tongue swiping against his balls. He reached for the lube next to his book and slathered his dick with it.

"Turn around. Sideways," he directed her.

He tilted his hips to the left slightly and Yani lowered her ass, her fingers holding open her labia.

"Slide down Daddy's dick, baby."

She was on her hands and knees and he had the pleasure of watching her entire side view as she bounced on his dick. His left hand rested on her ass cheek.

"I'm sorry, Daddy."

"Show me."

Her breasts jiggled and he reached over to play with her big nipple. She had a steady rhythm.

"You gon' let some other nigga touch my pussy again?"

Her lips curled up and she shook her head vigorously when he started thrusting up into her.

"What? I didn't hear you."

Her hand reached back and touched his side.

"Ooomph…Daddy!"

He was stretching her out real good.

"Answer me."

He slapped her backside. She leaned down on her elbows and pressed her face into the mattress. That wouldn't do. He grabbed her arm and pulled her to face him. She plucked on her nipples and pushed her breasts together for him. Her pussy was squeezing him while he let her do most of the work. He slapped the side of her hip and her eyes shot open.

"You betta answer me—"

"I won't let no one touch my pussy…just you…just you."

"This pussy is so good…you liked it when Daddy fucked you at the club, huh?"

"Yeah."

"You liked your friends watching me dick you down, huh?"

Her pussy clenched around him.

"Yeah, you liked that shit. You liked them seeing what you get all the time. Daddy's big dick all in your fat pussy."

She was wailing as she bounced on his dick. He played with her nipple and watched his thickness split her good. He lifted up and held her back, widening his thighs so he could get his balls all up in her ass. He held her in that position for a long time, punishing her folds until she was begging him to let her cum.

"Don't you ever let me catch you with some other man's hand on this pussy. Hear me?"

"Yeah!"

Erik pulled out and pushed her onto her stomach. He climbed on top of her and inserted his dick once more. He gave her slow thrusts until her fingers were clawing the pillows.

"Cum on me, Yani."

She screamed his name and fell apart on his dick. He didn't wait for her to finish as he sped up his pace and then pulled her on her knees so he could watch her rock back onto his length.

"Had all my cum in your panties…"

"Yeah…"

"You liked that, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

He groaned out loud.

"Cum in me, Daddy."

"Whatchu want Daddy to do? Tell me again…"

"Cum in my pussy…"

"…fill your pussy up?"

"Make a big mess, Daddy…"

"Like I did at the club?"

"Yeah."

"Wet your pussy up like I did those panties?"

"Please—"

"Tell me—"

"I want you to wet my pussy up. Make a big mess like you put in my panties—"

"That's what you want?"

"Yeah."

"You like it when I make you sloppy—"

"Yeah."

"Give you a big cream pie—"

"Mmmhmmm."

"Ah shit-!"

It never failed. Talking to her while watching the sexy dimpling in her ass, her thighs striking his, it never took long for him to let go whenever he was ready. He ejaculated, the tight pulling on his balls letting him know he had emptied out another huge load.

He stayed in her pussy for the rest of the night, fucking her until she fell asleep in his arms. The bottle of lube was empty like he thought it would be.

###

Erik worked hard to get a workable mock-up of the weapons he wanted to convert with the vibranium. He found it hard to concentrate for the last few weeks because he and Yani had both been busy. Sex was infrequent, and she was gone from the compound a lot. He thought her online classes would keep her close, but it actually took her away. She started a study group with a few other online students on the island and met with them three times a week. Her courses were time-consuming and her energy was spent on assignments, getting high grades on her quizzes and tests, and caring for Sydette. She was mentally drained by the end of the day and was often knocked out by the time he joined her in bed at night.

He felt displaced.

Their life had been perfect, but now he was losing her to school.

When her midterm rolled around and they were easing into August, she dropped some news on him that upset him. The apartment she was going to share with her roommate was available and the leasing agent wanted her and her roommate to take it right away or risk losing it to another tenant. She wanted to move out right away. Her roommate was ready to get the apartment too.

She told him while he took out braids from Sydette's hair on the porch.

Yani was going to settle on the other side of the island with the baby, leaving him at the compound alone.

As always, when it rained, it poured.

While Yani went out for several days with her roommate to buy furniture and cookware for her new apartment, he received word from Klaue: he was coming back to St. Thomas.

Early.

###

Chapter 20 Here

Tag List:

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@allhailqueennel @bartierbakarimobisson @cpwtwot @shookmcgookqueen @yoyolovesbucky

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@scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @bugngiz @stariamrry  @honeytoffee @meilintheempressofdreams

@tyees @eye-raq @writerbee-ffs

[redrobin-detective]

A phone rang. Usually this wouldn’t be unusual. Except that it was a pay phone. And it was the third one that had rang when Billy passed it. Yes, the area of town he was in was poor enough to have multiple pay phones that were still in use. Billy glared at it. Once was ignorable. Twice was a coincidence. Three times was a pattern. Maybe the League had finally figured out who he was and was using the creepiest way possible to tell him. Maybe Doctor Sivana had also figured out who he was and this was a trap of some sort. Either way, better to get this out of the way. He picked up the receiver. “Hello?”

“Billy.” The voice was deep, way deeper than Doctor Sivana’s nasally one. It was most similar to Superman’s, but it didn’t have the same uptilt, and it was much growlier. “Thank you for picking up.”

“You’re welcome I guess. Who is this?”

There was a beat of silence. “Jason’s father.”

Billy’s eyebrows disappeared into his bangs. “Oh! Um, hi.” This was the first time he’d ever heard Batman’s voice, the first time he’d had any indication that he existed beyond Jason’s fond grumbling. “It’s nice to finally speak to you sir.”

Batman sighed. “It’s nice to speak to you too. I just wish it was with better news.”

“Sir?”

Batman sighed again, except it sounded wobblier this time. “I don’t know… you probably haven’t heard. Jason…” There was a long pause. Billy could hear Batman breathing through the line. It would be creepy, but it sounded like Batman was trying not to cry. A stone of dread formed in Billy’s stomach. “Robin is dead.”

Billy dropped the receiver. No. No, it couldn’t be true. But Batman wouldn’t lie to him. For all of Jason’s complaining, he talked highly of his dad. Billy knew Batman was a stubborn, gruff, overachieving perfectionist and an emotional brick wall, but he was also kind, smart, loving and honest, or at least honest about the important things. Billy scrambled for the phone. “I… I’m sorry. For your loss.”

“Yes. Thank you. And I’m sorry for yours.” There was a minute of silence. Billy didn’t know how to fill it. He felt numb. Like his fingers wouldn’t work if he asked them to. “I… The funeral. It’s this Saturday. You were important to him. I would like it if you were there.”

“Yes! He was important to me too. He was my friend…” Days of playing video games flashed behind Billy’s eyes, of running through an empty Watchtower, eating pizza on Fawcett’s tallest building. “I won’t miss it.”

“Thank you. Will you need transportation? I can have you picked up.”

“No, thanks. I can make it there myself.” It would only take a few minutes for Captain Marvel to fly to Gotham. “What time?”

“12pm.”

“Right.” He’d check at the library what time that was in his time zone. Or maybe he’d arrive three hours early, just in case. “See you then.”

“Thank you. You’re a good boy Billy, and I’m glad you were his friend. Thank you for bringing him happiness.”

Billy’s throat closed. He nodded, said, “Mmhmm,” between closed lips and hung up. Then he slid down the side of the phone booth. He wrapped his arms around his knees and cried.

***

It was raining. The funeral was small. Billy. Jason’s dad and grandpa. A guy with glasses and a trench coat. A lady in a wheelchair. And the priest. Apparently Jason’s birth mother died at the same time as Jason. She was buried in the plot next to his.

There was more food at the reception than Billy had ever seen in his whole life, but he didn’t have any appetite. He picked at his egg salad sandwich until Jason’s grandpa sat down next to him. “Hello. My name is Alfred Pennyworth. I’m-”

“Jason’s grandpa.” It was probably rude to interrupt, but Billy was tired. He hadn’t slept well. “Jason told me.”

Alfred looked surprised. Then he pressed a hand to his eye. He sniffled. When he spoke again, his voice was thick. “Indeed I am. Master Bruce isn’t feeling up to speaking to anyone, so I am making the offer for him.”

“Offer?”

“Yes. In light of your closeness with Jason and your current situation, Master Bruce would like to know if you would want a place here.”

Here. In a literal mansion. Food whenever he wants. New clothes. But… “Thanks. But I need to stay in Fawcett. They’re counting on me.”

Alfred nodded. “I understand. As does Master Bruce. In which case, he asked me to give you these.” He held out a cellphone and a card. “The phone is programmed with Master Bruce’s cell number as well as mine. The battery only needs to be charged once a month. And it will have service anywhere. And a gift card to Bowls Bistro.”

Billy raised an eyebrow. “That fancy place in the Southtown Mall?”

“Indeed. I researched all of the eating establishments in Fawcett and determined that Bowls Bistro is the healthiest option, while still being quite delicious.”

“Thanks.” He pocketed both. Bowls was ok. Or, the dumpster food from it was. Maybe it was better fresh.

“The gift card will be topped up constantly, so don’t worry about running out.”

Billy nodded. Alfred wrapped an arm around his shoulders and gave him a squeeze. In his embrace, Billy managed to finish his sandwich.

He took a few days off heroing. He felt bad, but there also wasn’t any big emergencies for him to step in on. Then he did a couple of days work just in Fawcett. A week after the funeral, Captain Marvel took a deep breath and stepped inside the Zeta tube.

It was just Hal and Diana on duty. Diana took one look at him and asked him what was wrong. “A good friend died,” was all he could say.

“Oh no,” said Diana, and,

“Was it someone we knew,” asked Hal.

And Billy started crying. Because Jason was good and light and his funeral was so small. Because he deserved to have more friends than he could count, but he only had Billy and a pen pal. Because Jason was gone, and none of these people would know how amazing he was.

And Diana held him as he cried.

***

By @loxare, Read your Isolation AU fic and then wrote this instead of sleeping

AND I’M CRYING INSTEAD OF CLEANING UP BUT WHAT’S YOUR EXCUSE.

[girls-scenarios]

As The Snowflakes Fall

Idol: Rosé (BlackPink)

Prompt: ski trip with blackpink!!! reader gets hurt while snowboarding and has to stay at the cabin. rosé being the lovely lil angel she is, she decides to stay with reader while the rest go skiing and snowboarding. then, there's a snowstorm and reader and rosé are stuck in the cabin for a bit. rosé confesses her love to reader and there's a lot of hot chocolate, cuddles, and fluff!!!! tysm i love all of your writing! <3

Writer: Admin Kiwi

A/N: It’s actually snowing where I live now (and I’m very over it but that’s not the point) so I thought I'd go ahead and write this now while I had the inspiration right outside my window. I hope you all enjoy! 

Snowboarding was fun. You loved flying down the snow covered mountain and feeling the wind whipping against your scarf as you took in the landscape below. Even when you fell, it was fun, because it didn’t hurt as much as it did on skis and you could usually get right back up and keep going.

Usually was the key word, because there you were, stuck in the cabin watching the other girls get ready to go as you elevated your foot, because you’d managed to hurt yourself while trying to do a trick.

“Do you guys have everything you need?” Rosé asked as she handed Jisoo her bag. “Foot and hand warmers, goggles, water?”

“Yes, mom,” Lisa called, and the other girl shot her a look.

“Excuse me for not wanting you guys to die when I’m not there.”

“Opposed to when you are there?” You watched their playful banter unfold, eyes moving back to Rosé. She’d taken off her snow gear from earlier and was now dressed in an oversize sweater and leggings, and even though she looked cute, you felt a little guilty.

“You don’t have to stay here with me, Rosé,” you said, looking over at her hung skis. “It’s my fault I got hurt anyway.”

“I’m not just gonna leave you here,” she said, shaking her head and giving you a smile. “What if you needed something and I wasn’t here? And anyway, it looks like there’s a storm coming so I don’t mind staying nice and warm with you.” You smiled back at her.

“Well, I guess I can’t argue with that. Be careful girls.” Lisa nodded, hoisting her snowboard up into her arms and giving you a thumbs-up.

“Don’t worry, if it starts to storm we’ll be near the resort so we can just take shelter there until it’s over.”

“We’ll be careful,” Jisoo said, smiling. “You two be careful and stay warm as well. We’ll be back soon.”

“Bye guys!” Jennie waved as she opened the door and the two of you waved back, watching as they filed out the door. Once they were gone, Rosé turned to you and grinned.

“What do you say I make us some hot chocolate and we turn on the fireplace and watch some movies?” Just the thought of it made you feel cozy, and you grinned back, reaching over to grab the remote.

“I’ll find the movies if you promise to give me whipped cream on my hot chocolate.”

“It’s a deal.”

-

It only took an hour for the storm to hit. The snow began to pick up and the wind whistled so loudly that it drew both of your attention from the movie on the tv. Just like the news had said, a storm had blown in, coating the windows with thick snowdrifts. Biting her lip, Rosé stood up and walked over to look out the window. Or, at least she tried to, since most of it was covered.

“I hope they got back to the resort in time to get out of this storm. It’s bad out there.”

“Let’s see if our phones work,” you said, pulling out your cell. The service was bad, but still there, and you typed out a text to the group chat.

(Y/N)-Are you guys inside?

It look a little while for anyone to respond.

Jisoo-We are. They had a warning go off so we all got inside before it got too bad. You’re both okay too, right?

Both of you let out a sigh of relief and Rosé rested her head against your shoulder, making your heart jump. “Good. Now I don’t have to worry.”

At that moment, the tv died, cutting off in the middle of the movie as the lights turned off. You blinked. “Well, I’m very glad this isn't an electric fireplace.”

After a few minutes of searching and some fumbling around, the two of you were back on the couch in front of the blazing fireplace, bundling up in blankets with bottles of water and flashlights on the coffee table. It was already cold in the other parts of the cabin, but you couldn’t complain too much. Not when Rosé was cuddled up next to you, shoulder pressed against yours.

“Well. Now that we’re warm, what are we gonna do for entertainment? It’s not like we can use our phones, we need to conserve battery,” she said, a slight whine in her voice as she rested her head on your shoulder. You chuckled softly.

“I mean, we could talk.”

“I know, but I’d still like to finish our movie.”

“Am I that boring to you?” Your tone was joking, and you obviously weren’t serious, but she sat up and looked at you anyway.

“You aren’t boring at all! Don’t say that! I love talking to you.” You could feel your face heating up, and you were glad that the light was dim enough to hide it.

“Oh. I’m glad to hear that, I love talking to you too.” For a moment, both of you were silent, faces flushed and warm in the cold of the storm. And then she cleared her throat and shuffled even closer to you, looking at the fire.

“Actually, I’ve been meaning to tell you something. And I guess there’s no better time than now.” You raised your eyebrows, and hope swelled inside your chest, but you pushed it down, not wanting it to show.

“What is it?”

She bit her lip before looking over at you and giving you that soft, sweet smile that you’d come to like so much. “I like you, (Y/N). More than as a friend. And I feel like we’ve been getting closer recently, so I wanted to let you know.” A smile that you couldn't stop spread across your face and you held her hand under the blankets. Even the cold air tickling your neck seemed to be chased away for a moment.

“That’s good to hear, because I like you too.”

“Oh,” she breathed, and she was so close that you could see the sparkle in her eyes. “Good. Does this mean we’re dating?”

“If you want to, yeah.” The space had suddenly gotten smaller, like it was just the two of you in the world.

“I want to. I also want to kiss you, if that’s okay.” You let out a laugh and she giggled as well, dissolving the tension that had built up in the air.

“That’s okay with me.” She leaned in the short distance and your eyes fluttered closed as your lips met hers. Despite the chilly air, she was warm, and tasted of hot chocolate and whipped cream.

As she pulled away, the lights flickered back on and the silence was replaced by the whir of the heater turning on and the tv blinking back to life. The two of you looked around, and she glanced back out the window. The snow had stopped blowing sideways, and at some point the wind had settled down, leaving in quiet and peaceful once again.

“What just happened?” She asked, looking back at you with wide eyes. You shrugged your shoulders, letting the blanket fall away as the room began to warm once again. The fire still danced in the fire place, a little dimmer now, casting a small shadow across the hardwood floor. The movie the two of you had been watching continued from where it had left of, a distracting backdrop to the room, but your eyes were still focused on her.

“I don’t know. But I’m glad it did.” There was no need to huddle together for warmth anymore, but neither of you moved away, content to stay just like you were. Rosé glanced at the clock on her phone before putting it away and turning all of her attention back to you.

“They might be home soon, but let’s just stay like this until they do.”

“No cooking dinner for them to eat when they come back?”

“We can do that later. Right now I just want to cuddle and kiss you.” She gave you that sweet smile and you found yourself falling back into her, forgetting everything that existed outside that cabin. It was just you and her in that moment, and you were happy to keep it that way for a while. Smiling, you leaned in, all too happy to kiss her again.

“I can’t argue with that logic.”

Dinner could wait for a while.

[branlovestowrite]

Reunited: A Stucky Story

I recently fell down the Stucky wormhole after @dracosollicitus started posting her Stucky WIP What’s Left of Kisses (side note, go read that when you’re done here). I’ve read a lot of Stucky stories in the past two months, but I couldn’t find one that had them reuniting in a modern-day, non superhero setting. After a while I decided I should write it myself. I added in Shuri/Bucky BroTP because I LOVE them as besties, as well as a little Jessica Jones/Bucky Barnes friendship because I love JJ and want her in all the Marvel stories. And of course, the women of Marvel ship Stucky and take measures to throw them together. This is my first Stucky story, and, if it’s a ship you’re into, I hope you’ll like what I’ve come up with.

Title: Reunited

Rating: T for mild language and brief mentions of sex

Summary: Bucky Barnes never thought he’d see his childhood best friend, and source of his first heartbreak, Steve Rogers ever again. He is thrown for a loop when Steve ends up working for one of his new clients. What happens now that these boys are together again? Can Bucky finally overcome his nerves and confess his true feelings to Steve?

Also on AO3

On a typical Wednesday morning, Bucky Barnes walked into work, completely unaware that by the end of the day, his life would change forever. That morning had seemed like a normal day in the office. The coffee was stale, the old donuts sat untouched and unmoved, and Shuri was teasing him just like she did every day. “Hey Bucky!” she yelled from across the room. “Yes?” He asked, the corners of his mouth twitching with amusement as he approached their shared workspace. Shuri’s brown eyes sparkled with mirth. “Peter and I are in an argument-” “More like a disagreement,” Peter interrupted, his head poking above the cube wall. “An argument,” Shuri continued “about what dating was like before cell phones. I figured you could help me settle it.” “Really?” Bucky raised his eyebrows in response. “I’m not that much older than you guys. I got my first cell phone in high school.” “But that was old tech,” Shuri clarified. “No dating apps; limited texting. What did you do when you had to… call… people?” She said the word ‘call’ as if it offended her. “I don’t know,” Bucky replied, “I just called them.” He dropped his messenger bag to the floor and sank into his desk chair. “What even is this argument about?” “I say people didn’t… have sex,” Peter explained, a flush rising up over his cheeks and ears. “I mean, that is, they didn’t have sex as soon. They waited longer. Since, you know, they weren’t sexting or sending-” he cut himself off as the remainder of his face turned the same shade as a tomato. Shuri gave an exasperated sigh. “Dick pics, Peter. The phrase is dick pics.”

Bucky groaned and hung his head, his chin length hair falling around his face. “You know, we are working…” “Anyway! I say that even if they couldn’t send dick pics, people still found ways to get nasty because people have always found ways to get nasty.” “What did I just walk in on?” Shuri’s brother, their boss and owner of the company, T’Challa walked up with a concerned look on his face. “Do I need to call Okoye?” “No, please, sir,” Peter fumbled. “Ha!” Shuri laughed. “Peter’s scared of HR!” “I’m not scared of HR; just Okoye. She can be so tough!” “Please make them stop,” Bucky pleaded, turning to T’Challa. Their boss only laughed in return. “If you find a way to make my sister stop, Barnes, you come let me know. I haven’t found one yet.” He walked on, continuing his morning lap of the office. After a minute, as Bucky was bringing up his email, Shuri pushed her chair over to his desk. “So, old man, what did you guys do?” Bucky stopped his perusal to reminisce. He remembered rushing home to get to his computer and see if Steve was online. They would chat for hours via AIM, unless one of them had to get off the computer so a parent could use the phone line. When they each got cell phones they would call each other at 9:00pm sharp, when minutes were unlimited, and talk until one or both of their phone batteries died. A flush grew on his cheeks as he remembered the not-so-innocent turn their conversations sometimes took. While he never did anything explicit with Steve, he thoroughly remembered some of the thoughts he’d had during those conversations; thoughts he’d been too afraid to express. And the things he did with other people, in an attempt to get Steve out of his head. “Shuri’s right.” He said, looking at Peter. Shuri smirked conspiratorially. “Oooo… Bucky got nasty!” “That’s all I’m saying,” Bucky replied, turning back to his screen. Bucky worked for Wakanda Tech, or WT as the employees called it, a startup taking the corporate communications world by storm. T’Challa inherited the company from his father, but most of their recent products came directly from Shuri’s designs. She was a wunderkind, with an innate understanding of technology that put people twice her age to shame. And somehow she managed to combine her technical ability with a personality that was warm and engaging. It was impossible not to like Shuri. Bucky considered himself lucky to have landed a position at WT. Most of the employees were in their early 20’s. He was a random outlier, having met Okoye, their director of HR, at a job fair for veterans. Okoye was not your typical HR rep. She had a strict no-bullshit policy and had no issue with calling out her employees when she felt they were in violation of that. But she was also fiercely loyal and dedicated to the success of WT, having grown up alongside T’Challa. Okoye had an eye for talent, and she saw something in Bucky, even if he didn’t really see it himself. He worked as a implementation manager, helping get new clients on the platform once they’d purchased a license. Bucky had an eye for organization, a direct result of his military training. His personal life might be a mess, but he knew how to get other people in order. Once Shuri and Peter settled their dispute, the office became quiet, although a hum of anticipation still hung in the air. Today was a very important day for WT. T’Challa had been in discussions with Tony Stark about bringing their product to Stark Inc. If they landed this contract, there would be a huge bonus for everyone. Negotiations were almost complete; Stark was coming by later to hopefully sign the final documents. Bucky couldn’t calm the anxiety that crept up his spine. He never liked brash, overcompensating men like Stark- or at least the way Stark was portrayed in the media. When he was younger, he’d stopped more than a few of those types from beating Steve to a pulp. He’d learned to live with them in the Army, being surrounded by meatheads who preened like peacocks to hide their insecurities. He’d had his fill of guys like that during his time in the service, and did his best to avoid them now. Unfortunately, there was only one other Implementation Manager at WT, Peter, and he was too green to take on the Stark job. Like it or not, Bucky would have to be in the room with Stark later that day, and he’d most likely also have to suck up to the man. His stomach roiled and he skipped lunch, hiding out at his desk while he nibbled on a few crackers.

The day kept moving like a freight train, and, before long, it was time. The quiet, efficient atmosphere of WT was turned on its ear when Tony Stark walked in. Bucky watched from the safety of his desk as Stark was greeted by T’Challa. “Mr. Stark,” the always professional entrepreneur began as he shook Stark’s hand. “No no,” his guest interrupted, “if we’re gonna work together, you gotta call me Tony.” The man spoke his words in a rapid clip, as if he didn’t have time to breathe properly between syllables. “Very well, Tony: welcome to Wakanda Tech.” T’Challa gestured proudly around the office. “Small operation you got here, huh?” “We believe in a flat organization structure, to maximize efficiency.” “Great use of buzzwords there, pal,” Stark replied, placing his hand on T’Challa’s shoulder. Shuri chose that moment to stand from her desk and extend her own hand to Bucky. “Shall we go in?” “Do I have to?” Bucky whined petulantly. “Yes!” she scolded, looking much older than her 22 years. “Get off your ass and come with me.” Bucky straightened up and grabbed his tablet, standing to follow the younger woman. They headed to the conference room and made it inside just before Stark and his entourage entered. “This must be Shuri!” Stark exclaimed, greeting the lady on question with a hug. Shuri halfheartedly returned the gesture before pulling away with a smile. “It is good to meet you, Mr. Stark.” “I already had this conversation with your brother. Call me Tony.” Shuri smiled politely in response and then turned to Bucky. “This is James Barnes. He is the Implementation Manager that will be working on your account.” “Jamie!” Tony said, patting the other man on the shoulder. “Tony,” Bucky returned with a bemused smirk. “Finally someone who gets it,” Tony said with a smile. He turned to the people surrounding him. “Allow me to introduce Pepper Potts, my right hand and the only reason I have any success in this world.” A tall, willowy redhead nodded her head toward Bucky and Shuri. “And this is Rhodey, my other right hand and best friend in the world.” The man in question smiled tensely at the group. “And finally, this is-” “Steve,” Bucky said in awe, looking up at the last member of Stark’s party. “Steve Rogers, from my legal team,” Tony filled in, a little deflated. “I’m sorry,” he said, pointing between them, “do you two know each other?”

“Bucky and I go way back,” Steve said, his smile still as devastating as ever. He flashed his blue eyes at Bucky, and the other man felt himself get weak in the knees. “Bucky?” Tony asked with a smirk. Bucky grimaced. “My full name is James Buchanan Barnes… but my friends call me Bucky.” “Splendid!” Tony said. “You didn’t tell me you knew someone who worked here, Rogers.” “I didn’t know I had a connection,” Steve replied warmly, still looking at Bucky. “It’s been a while since we talked.” Bucky gave Steve a shy smile. “A lot has happened since we last saw each other.” They stood like that, staring awkwardly at one another while butterflies danced in Bucky’s stomach. Finally, T’Challa intervened. “Shall we get started?” he asked as he gestured toward the table. Bucky wasn’t sure how he made it through that meeting in one piece, but, in spite of the awkwardness he felt, the meeting was a success. Stark seemed keener to sign the contract knowing there was a personal relationship between a member of his staff and someone at WT. As soon as the meeting adjourned Steve pulled Bucky aside.  

“You look good, Buck.” “Thanks,” Bucky said, refusing to meet the other man’s eyes. Steve had changed so much since he’d last seen him, He was at least a good foot taller, with much broader shoulders. Bucky had to actively try not to drool. “You do too, but… I thought you were smaller.” Steve chuckled and scratched the back of his neck. “I had a growth spurt right after I moved away.” “You look… really good,” Bucky said. He took in Steve’s chest and thick arms that filled out his jacket just right. His mind wandered to the last time those arms had been wrapped around him in a hug, when Steve was thinner and shorter. He couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel now to have them wrap around his body; to get lost in that strong embrace. “Bucky?” Steve asked, meeting the other man’s eye. “Huh? Yeah?” Bucky came back to himself with a jolt, cursing his train of thought. “You wanna get a drink later? Catch up?” “Yeah,” Bucky replied as a brilliant smile bloomed across Steve’s face. “Yeah, I’d like that.” Steve gave Bucky his card, adding his personal cell number and making Bucky promise to call him. Then he had to go, and Bucky was left standing there, feeling dumbstruck. He heaved a sigh the moment the room was clear. He was so, so screwed. ~/~ “What the hell was that?” Shuri asked the moment he got back to desk. “What are you talking about?” “Um… how about the way you eye-fucked Stark’s lawyer the entire time? Although it seems to have worked in our favor. We should pimp you out more.”

“I did not ‘eye-fuck’ anyone,” Bucky protested. “Steve’s just an old friend.” “Right… ‘friend.’ You know, it’s 2019. You don’t have to use euphemisms anymore.” “I’m not covering anything! I’ve never tried to hide my sexuality. But Steve was never like that. We grew up together.” “From the way you were looking at him, it seems like homeboy ‘glowed up.’ You gonna go for it?” “Nah. Steve’s not into guys. He’s a heterosexual, all-American boy,” Bucky replied, unable to hide the tinge of sadness in his voice. “You might want to reconsider that opinion,” Shuri replied. “What makes you say that?” “Because he spent the entire meeting looking at you the same way you were looking at him.”

This new information distracted Bucky for the rest of the day, and he had trouble focusing on even the most basic of tasks. Finally, at 4:55, he decided he couldn’t do anything else, and began to pack up. As he flipped through his portfolio, the business card Steve had pressed into his hand fluttered to the ground. Before he could retrieve it, Shuri scooped it up.

“Steve Rogers gave you his card, did he? And he wrote his personal number on there?”

“Yeah… he mentioned going to get a drink.”

“So call him!”

“Yeah… I will. Just… I need some time. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Steve. A lot’s changed. I’m not the same kid I was in high school.”

Shuri’s gaze softened and she placed a gentle hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “I think the issue is actually that you’re a lot more like that kid than you realized, and seeing an old friend brought it all back.”

Bucky huffed a sigh and gave her a wry smile. “As usual, you prove how much smarter you are than me.”

“You heading out. Bucky?” Peter asked, poking his head over the cube wall once more.

“Yeah Pete. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Actually, would you be free to head over to Nick’s with me? I wanted to ask your advice about something.” His gaze shifted to Shuri and he gave a scowl “ Away from interfering parties.”

Bucky laughed. “Alright Pete, yeah. Let’s do it.”

~/~

Steve Rogers was an adult. He’d graduated early from Harvard Law and landed a lucrative position at Stark Inc. before he’d turned 25. So influential was he in that role that he’s ended up becoming one of the principal members of the legal team at the company 18 months later. Steve was on lists like “30 under 30” and he didn’t like to brag, but he was considered in some circles to be a ‘big deal’. So why did he currently feel like a nervous teenager waiting by the phone?

He’d tried to play it off, but seeing Bucky earlier that day had thrown him. Bucky had been his best friend for the majority of his young life. He brought school work when Steve was sick and sat by his bed, helping to keep him entertained. As they got older, he’d helped protect Steve when he got into fights he couldn’t finish. He’d been there in good and bad times. Losing Bucky in his life was a blow Steve had never really recovered from.

After the meeting, he’d wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day catching up with his friend, but there was too much to do. He cursed himself for not getting a commitment to meet the other man somewhere later on. Leaving the planning up to Bucky filled him with anxiety. Steve did not like to wait. He was not a waiter. He was a doer.

At five-o'clock his phone finally rang, the caller an unknown number. He felt his heart pounding in his chest as he pressed the ‘accept’ button.

“Bucky?”

The voice on the other end of the line gave a dry laugh. It was definitely female, so not Bucky. “No, this is Shuri.”

It took a moment for his brain to catch up with the name. “Oh, yes, from WT, right?” It was a bit strange that she was calling his personal line, but he wasn’t going to be rude. “How can I help you?”

“This isn’t business related, Mr. Rogers.”

“Please, call me Steve.”

“Yes, Steve,” she replied. “I thought you might want to know where Bucky Barnes is heading for an after work drink.”

“Oh, well if he wants me to join him, I’m sure he’ll call me and give me the place.” He pulled his phone away from his head to look at the screen, silently hoping there would be another incoming call.

“No, Steve, I don’t believe he will. I have worked with Sergeant Barnes for two years, and I know when he is vacillating. This is one of those times. He needs a nudge in the right direction.”

“I don’t know if that’s really-”

“Trust me Mr. Rogers, he would not call you of his own accord.”

This felt wrong to Steve, a violation of his old friend’s privacy. “I mean, if he doesn’t want to call me, he doesn’t have to. I’m not going to force him if he doesn’t want to.”

“No, he wants to. Of that I am sure.”

“What’s your aim here?” Steve asked, his tone changing as his suspicion rose. He didn’t want to insult the young woman, but he was starting to wonder why she was so invested in telling him where Bucky was going to be.

“I don’t mean any harm. I only wish to see my friend Bucky happy, and I know he’ll talk himself out of calling you if left to his own devices.”

Steve sighed as he took in her words. He wanted to believe that Bucky was more confident than that, but the last time he’d been in contact with his friend, he’d had the same impression. “Tell me.”

She gave him the name and address of the bar where Bucky was heading.

“Are you sure he’s gonna be there? Maybe he’s just going home?”

“He’ll be there. Our coworker Peter is going with him to make sure.”

“Is everyone at WT in on this?”

He could practically hear her smile on the other end of the line. “Just get there, Mr. Rogers. As soon as you can.”

~/~

Seeing Steve earlier in the day brought back a flood of memories for Bucky. Steve had been his best friend for his entire childhood, all the way through to the summer before their junior year of high school. He and Steve did everything together. They grew up alongside one another and had been closer in many ways than Bucky was to his own flesh-and-blood sibling.

But Steve was more than just a brother. He’d been Bucky’s first love. At the same time that he was just starting to realize his sexuality, he simultaneously realized that he was head-over-heels for Steven Grant Rogers.

When they were younger, Steve had been overlooked by nearly everyone. He was the smallest kid in class and had a slew of health problems that were the likely culprit for his stunted growth. Most prominent was his asthma, followed closely by a spinal curvature that led to him wearing a back brace for a few years. He had poor eyesight with color blindedness, which he wore thick glasses to help correct. And he had a weak immune system that caused him to get sick, and therefore miss school, all the time.

None of the other kids wanted to play with Steve. They were irritated with his inability to keep up when they ran. Or how he would break into a coughing fit in the middle of a dare, freaking everyone out with the fear that one of their cohorts might actually die from one of their stupid stunts.

Bucky was the opposite of Steve. Rambunctious and outgoing, he’d been friends with nearly everyone. He always had kids asking him to play. But Bucky only ever wanted to hang out with Steve.

He couldn’t remember the exact moment he’d first felt drawn to Steve. Bucky had known the other boy since the first grade, but they weren’t in the same class until the third grade. Because they lived in the same building, Bucky would often bring homework for Steve to do when he was out sick. At first, Steve’s mom had just expected Bucky to leave the work and run off, as other children must have done, but Bucky was precocious little fuck.

“How’s Stevie doin’ Mrs. Rogers?”

“Oh,” she’d replied, genuinely surprised at his question. “He’s getting better. He’s in his room, but he’s up and reading.”

“Can I go say hi to him?”

“Sure. Let me just poke my head in and let him know you’re here.”

Steve had seemed just as surprised at Bucky’s appearance as his mother, but welcomed the company.

“Whatcha readin’?” Bucky asked, pointing to the comic book in Steve’s lap.

“Oh, um… X-Men.”

“Killer! I like X-Men too! Who’s your favorite? I like Wolverine.”

Steve smiled at Bucky then, a real, genuine smile, and launched into a diatribe about how his favorite was Professor Xavier because even though he was in a wheelchair, he was one of the most powerful of the X-Men, but he still used his power for good, taking in young mutants and helping to guide them.

From that day forward, Steve and Bucky spent almost every afternoon together, talking about comics, movies (they once had a very heated debate about which trilogy had the superior Harrison Ford performance: Star Wars or Indiana Jones), and, when they were older, girls.

One afternoon, when they were 12 and sitting in Steve’s room, the blond turned to his friend and very innocently asked “You ever kissed a girl, Buck?”

“Yep,” Bucky replied nonchalantly, only half listening while he flipped through a comic book.

“What?! No way! When did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Bucky looked up at his friend and cringed. “It’s not my proudest moment.”

“When was it?”

“At Sharon Carter’s last birthday party. She wanted to play ‘spin-the-bottle.’”

Steve got a dreamy look at the mention of Sharon’s name. It was hardly a secret that he had a thing for the girl. She was kind to Steve, but had no inclination toward him. Steve had actually been invited to that party, but hadn’t been able to go because he was recovering from a wicked bout of bronchitis.

He looked back to Bucky with a goofy smile. “Who’d you kiss?”

Bucky’s face went red at that.

“Who was it?”

Bucky bit his lip for a moment, deliberating what to say, before finally deciding on the truth. He never usually kept secrets from Steve, and this one had been eating him alive. “I kissed Sharon.” He watched in horror as his friend’s face fell. “I’m sorry man!” Bucky continued. “I know you like her, and I didn’t want to, but the bottle landed on me when she spun it, and it was her birthday party, and I didn’t want to reject her in front of everyone.” He huffed a breath as he paused.

Steve, being Steve, gave him a gentle smile. “It’s okay, I get it.” His smile broadened into a grin. “How was it?”

“Kind of embarrassing,” Bucky admitted with a groan. “We went into a closet, and I was so nervous that I just barely gave her a peck. I couldn’t touch her because my hands were so sweaty. I didn’t want to gross her out.”

“Well maybe there’s hope for me yet.”

“As long as you can kiss better than I did.”

“Doubtful,” Steve snorted. “At least you’ve kissed someone once. I’ve never kissed anyone.”

Bucky got a wild idea then, and didn’t have the good sense to censor himself before blurting it out. “Wanna practice on me?”

“What?” Steve’s face was a mixture of shock and confusion.

“I mean, we’re buds, right? Let’s just practice with each other. Make us more ready when the next time comes.”

“Um… okay.”

Although his first kiss was technically with Sharon, Bucky always considered his kiss with Steve to be his first true kiss. It ignited feelings in him that he didn’t quite understand. He had a hard time looking at Steve the same, once he knew how soft the other boy’s lips were.

Steve eventually did get to kiss Sharon. Despite her initial reluctance, she decided to give Steve a chance and they even went steady for a few weeks in the eighth grade. But beyond that, Steve never had much luck with girls.

He remained smaller than all the other guys in their class, and ended up being the target of more than a few bullies. But Steve was scrappy. Although he was small, he could take a hit, and refused to run or stand down when confronted. Bucky always teetered on the fine line between when to let Steve stand up for himself and when to intervene to make sure Steve didn’t get seriously injured.

Bucky continued to hang out with Steve, even as he was taunted for it by the more popular kids in high school. He didn’t really care what anyone else said. Steve was his best friend.

One night during freshman year, when they were talking on the phone, Steve was whining to Bucky about how he would never have a shot with another girl in his life.

“You’re great, Stevie,” Bucky’d said, more than a little annoyed with the situation. “The right girl will come along eventually. She’ll see all the good in you and not worry about the other stuff.”

“I wish I could find a girl just like you, Bucky.”

That caused a lump to stick in Bucky’s throat. He’d decided to never tell Steve how he felt, knowing that Steve didn’t reciprocate his feelings. Bucky was terrified of destroying their friendship. He swallowed thickly before replying. “You do?”

“Yeah. You’re my best friend, Buck, and you always see the best in me. I’m so glad I have you.”

“I’m glad to have you too,” Bucky choked out in response. He’d almost decided to confess his feelings then, but Steve sighed and changed the subject before he had a chance.

“What about you, huh? I heard Lori’s got a thing for ya’.”

“Well, um… I think I might be gay,” Bucky replied, in lieu of confessing. He had been deliberating for some time on how to share this with Steve. He knew Steve, and knew his friend would never reject him, but, nevertheless, he braced himself for a bad response.

“Oh yeah?” Steve simply replied, and Bucky was immensely relieved to hear the smile in his friend’s voice.

“Yeah,” he sighed in relief.

“Okay man, cool. You got your eye on anyone, or just been thinking this for a bit?”

“Just been thinkin’ it,” Bucky admitted, not quite ready to tell Steve that he only had eyes for his best friend.

That had been the extent of Bucky’s coming out for another year, before he finally confessed to his parents and friends. He ended up going on a couple dates, had a few kisses, but never dated anyone seriously until after Steve moved.

The summer before their junior year, just after Steve turned sixteen, a bomb dropped in his world. His father, who had left his mother heartbroken when he was just a baby, suddenly died. Steve was shocked to learn that his dad had left him a house and a sizable amount of money. The house was in Indiana, and he was contacted by the grandfather he never knew he had to come out for a visit.

That summer ended up being a turning point for Steve. He got into a medical trial that ended up helping him overcome several of his physical ailments. Sarah went out several times to visit her son, and ended up really liking the area. When the summer ended, Steve’s grandpa asked if they would consider moving there. The house was nice, and Sarah would be able to make more money as a nurse if she wasn’t paying rent. And Steve wanted to get to know his family. His only concern was leaving Bucky.

“Come on, man,” Bucky’d assured him. “We got lots of ways to stay in touch. You ain’t getting rid of me.”

So Steve had gone, and although he never said anything, Bucky’s heart broke that day.

At first, they’d stayed in touch much the same way they had during the summer, through email, phone calls, and instant messaging, but, as the school year progressed, they began to drift apart. Steve had new friends. Since he wasn’t sick all the time and missing out on everything, he had an easier time meeting people. It was a fresh start for Steve, and Bucky didn’t want to keep his friend from his new social circle.

So, instead, Bucky dealt with his heartbreak in self-destructive ways: drinking heavily, experimenting with drugs, and losing his virginity to a random encounter at a party. He had lots of sex during his last two years of high school, with boys and girls. The further Bucky fell down the rabbit hole, the less he would talk to Steve. In the end, he screwed his grades up so bad that he barely graduated and didn’t have any college offers or scholarships to speak of. Directionless, he’d opted to enlist in the Army.

Enlistment had been the final thing to sever his connection to Steve. They had separate lives, and Bucky just assumed there was no chance he’d ever run into the other man again.

~/~

Bucky sat in the bar, trying not to lose his shit on Peter. He really did like the younger man, but he could be a bit over eager at times, like a puppy. Today seemed to be one of those days.

Peter got up to head to the bathroom, and Bucky decided to approach the bartender and order something harder than the beer he’d been nursing. As he stood there, waiting for his drink, he heard a surly voice speak from behind him.

“Barnes.”

“Jones,” he replied, turning to face the newcomer. Bucky liked Jessica Jones, even if she was an acquired taste. She was a PI that he’d met in this very bar, when she’d caught him on a date with a cheating husband. Jessica didn’t want to blow her cover, but after she had the pictures, she pulled Bucky aside and clued him in. Bucky had no idea his date was married, and thanked God that he hadn’t slept with the man.

“What are you doing here?” Jessica asked, the hint of a smile playing across her face. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Yeah, I haven’t been going out much. It’s cheaper to drink at home and don’t have to wear pants.”

“Can’t argue with that logic.”

Bucky considered her for a moment. Her dark hair hung down past her shoulders, and she was dressed in her usual armor of a t-shirt, jeans, boots, and a leather jacket. But something was different. It could have been a trick of the light, but she seemed to have taken a little more care with her makeup. Her brown eyes looked bigger than usual thanks to her artful eyeliner. And she wore a dark lipstick that set off her creamy skin beautifully.  “Something’s changed about you, Jones. What’s going on?”

She schooled her features and gave him a stern look before breaking out into a full-on grin. Bucky couldn’t stop his small gasp when she smiled. She was truly beautiful, but her usually sour disposition tended to put people off.

“Okay, who are you and what have you done with my friend Jessica?”

“Shut up,” she replied, shoving his shoulder. “I’m on a date.” She nodded her head to the table behind her, where a gorgeous man with tan skin, jet black hair, and a neatly trimmed beard sat, watching them with interest.

“Damn girl,” Bucky replied, looping her arm with his own. “Does he swing both ways? Cause if so, send him my way when you’re done with him.”

“Oh fuck off, Barnes,” she laughed, freeing her arm.

Bucky relaxed for the first time all day, forgetting his nerves about Steve in his excitement for his friend. “You look good, Jess. Happy.”

“Thanks.” She glanced at something just over Bucky’s shoulder. “Well, I just wanted to come say hi since I haven’t seen you in a while. I’m gonna go back to my date and let you get back to yours.”

“Oh, no, I’m not on a date, just here with Pete from work.”

“Yeah?” She leaned in close and whispered as quietly as she could in the din of the bar. “Then who’s the blond beefcake two stools down who keeps staring at you?”

Bucky turned his head suddenly to see Steve sitting there, wearing a smirk and looking positively delicious. He’d removed his jacket and unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt, exposing the hollow of his throat. Bucky bit back the sudden urge to trace the other man’s adam’s apple with his tongue. “Oh my God… that’s Steve. I didn’t call him. How’d he know I was here?”

“That’s Steve?” Jessica asked, and Bucky automatically hissed at her to keep her voice down. He had shared the story with her one night over drinks, and she knew all about the torch he carried. “Well, Mazel Tov and all that,” she said with a wink. “Let’s get coffee sometime and you can tell me how good he fucks. And um…” she leaned to the left slightly, presumedly to check Steve out, “maybe we could arrange a trade.”

“Fuck you Jones.”

Jessica had already turned away when she called over her shoulder “We tried that, remember?”

Despite his annoyance, Bucky managed one last smile while he flipped her the bird, before gathering his courage to turn around and face Steve.

~/~

Steve watched Bucky with interest as he turned away from the stunning brunette he’d been talking to. He couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of the ease between them. It was obvious they weren’t lovers, but they were friends, and Steve missed having Bucky as his friend.

Bucky downed the shot he’d ordered and left the glass on the bar as he sauntered over to Steve. That was really the only way Steve could describe his walk. He didn’t seem as confident as the Bucky Barnes of their childhood, but he sure as hell knew how to fake it.

“Either you’re stalking me or Peter slipped something in my beer and I blacked out, because I don’t remember calling you.” Steve felt his cheeks warm as Bucky spoke. He took a minute to process the words, realizing they were harsher than the tone Bucky used to convey them.

“Um, right… well, Shuri called me and let me know you’d be here, so I thought I’d stop by after work and see if you’d be up for that drink.” He hadn’t looked Bucky in the eyes yet. “I can go, if it’s making you uncomfortable.” He moved to grab his wallet and pay for his beer.

“No, Steve, wait,” Bucky said, with a chuckle. “I was fuckin’ with you. Don’t go. I’m glad you’re here.”

“Yeah?” Steve’s lips spread wide in a grin and he finally looked up to meet Bucky’s gaze. What he saw there was heart-stopping. Bucky always had the most beautiful eyes, their color a cool gray-blue that changed from icy to steel depending on his mood. Right now they were brilliant, even in the dim light of the bar. And they were complimented by an amazing smile.

“Yeah,” Bucky replied, not breaking eye contact.

They stood there for a few seconds, just drinking one another in, before the spell was broken by the approach of Bucky’s coworker.

“Hey Buck-” Peter began.

“Shit! Pete! I’m sorry man,” Bucky replied before Peter could finish his sentence. “I abandoned you. I just ran into a couple people, and-”

“Yeah, man, no problem,” Peter replied. “I was actually gonna say I gotta split. My buddy Ned called and he needs me to come over.” Bucky raised his eyebrows at that, but before he could say anything, Peter sputtered on. “I mean… not ‘needs me’ like that, needs me. Ned’s just a friend. I mean… not that I have any problem with dudes, but Ned’s got a girlfriend and I’m kind of into this girl we went to high school together, and-”

Bucky interrupted the younger man’s diatribe. “Pete, it’s okay. You didn’t say anything to offend me.”

“Phew, that’s a relief,” Peter said, literally wiping his hand across his brow as he said the word ‘phew.’ Steve’s nerdy heart went out to the younger man. He could definitely remember being just as awkward in his own youth.

Peter swiftly made his exit, and Bucky ordered a fresh beer, abandoning the one he’d had at the table he was sitting at with Peter. He settled onto the stool next to Steve.

“So, bigwig legal guy at Stark Inc. at 28, huh? How’d you manage that?

Steve blushed again and looked down at the bar top. “I met Tony in college, and he took over his Dad’s company just as I was finishing law school. He contacted me and asked me to interview for a job on their legal team. I wasn’t about to turn down an opportunity like that. After I got the job, Tony told me he needed to clean house and that he wanted someone with his ear to the ground in legal. I helped him catch some bad actors, and when their positions were vacated, Tony asked if I wanted to take one.”

“Damn, that’s quite the story.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of unbelievable, right? Little guy from Brooklyn like me ending up here.”

“Yeah…” Bucky trailed off as he took a swig of his beer. “I always believed that little guy would go places.”

“That means a lot coming from you, Buck.” Steve looked over at the other man, his eyes soft.

“I never stopped believing in you, Stevie,” he replied, his voice soft.

“So…” Steve said after a pause. “What about you? How’d you’d end up at WT?”

“I met Okoye, the head of their HR, at a VA job fair.”

“Yeah? I remembered you enlisted after graduation. How long did you serve?”

“Six years, three tours. I was planning to retire, but I got injured on my last tour and was medically discharged.”

“Shit… What happened?”

“IED. Not a very big one, but enough to do some serious damage to my left arm. I was a sniper, and I couldn’t keep doing that job if I couldn’t hold the gun steady.”

“Oh damn… I’m sorry to hear that man.”

Bucky looked at Steve for a second, his eyes watering and his upper lip quivering. Steve felt his heart speed up at the thought of his friend’s pain. He started to stand up to give the other man a hug when Bucky’s face broke into a huge grin.

“You always were so gullible Stevie.”

“You jerk!” Steve replied with a laugh as he settled back on his stool.

Bucky pretended to look hurt. “What? Me? I’m not the one laughing at a wounded veteran, ya’ punk!”

“Yeah. yeah, asshole.” Steve tilted his beer to take a swig, his eyes never leaving Bucky’s. When he placed the bottle back down on the bartop, his smile faded a little, becoming wistful. “I’ve missed you, Buck. What happened to us?”

“I’m an asshole who doesn’t deserve nice things, that’s what,” Bucky said, suddenly looking anywhere but at Steve.

~/~

“What the hell does that mean?” Steve asked, and Bucky felt his heart constrict a little more. Sweet Stevie, always caring so much about everyone else.

“Look… it was a long time ago. Let’s forget I said anything. Tell me more about you.”

“No, Buck. I don’t want to forget it. What did you mean? If anything, I’m the asshole in the situation since I left.”

“No, Steve, no.” Bucky suddenly felt panicked at the thought that Steve would ever blame himself. Without thinking, he grabbed Steve’s hand in his own. “You could never be an asshole. You have always been the kindest, most selfless person I know. You going to Indiana was a good thing, wasn’t it? Without that, you might never have gotten healthy, and I doubt you could have afforded law school if you and your mom stayed in Brooklyn.”

“Then why? Why did we lose touch? We were always so close. Even when I had nothing, I had you.”

Bucky cringed. Even after all these years, it physically pained him to keep anything from Steve. “It was all my fault. I became a mess those last two years of high school. I was a drugged out loser. I barely graduated. You didn’t need someone like me dragging you down.”

Steve’s face softened and he squeezed Bucky’s hand with his own. “You would never have dragged me down. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to help you. It sounds like you were really hurting back then.”

“I was trying to find something.”

“What was that?”

Bucky looked up at Steve then, his eyes a bright cornflower blue, expressing his earnestness. “You,” Bucky replied, unable to tear his gaze away. “I was trying to find you.”

“You knew where I was, Bucky. If you needed me, I would have come back in a heartbeat.”

“I didn’t want to tear you away from your new life. You finally had everything you ever wanted. How selfish would it have been if I’d asked you to come back because I was working through a little bit of depression?”

“But, other than my ma, no one has ever been more important to me that you. I would have done anything to help you.”

“Naw… you had a new life. I remember those pictures on Facebook. You had that cute little girlfriend. The blonde one, kinda looked like Sharon. What was her name?”

“Kate,” Steve said with a small grin. “I think the main reason I first talked to her was because she reminded me of Sharon.” Bucky made to pull his hand free, but Steve kept his grip strong. “But what did you mean when you said you were trying to find me?”

“I…” Bucky sighed deeply and looked at the floor. “I wanted to find someone to take your place in my life. So I wouldn’t feel so empty.”

“Did it work?”

“No. Every person I hooked up with just made me feel more alone, but I kept trying. I must have slept my way through half of the teenage population of Brooklyn, but no one could hold a candle to you.”

Steve suddenly got very still. “What do you mean, Bucky? We never hooked up.”

Shit , Bucky thought, there goes my big fuckin’ mouth gettin’ me in trouble again. He looked up to meet Steve’s eyes once more, his mouth gaping like a fish out of water..

“Bucky… did you… did you want to be with me?”

“I… uh…” fuckfuckfuck “Um… I mean…” He felt his face flushing crimson red. “Shit. I never meant to tell you that Stevie. I’m sorry. Fuck… Let me just.” He grabbed his wallet out of his pocket and threw down whatever cash he had on hand, praying it was enough to cover his drinks. He’d just humiliated himself in front of Steve. The last thing he needed was to also stick him with the bill.

Steve stared open-mouthed as Bucky turned and walked as fast as he could out of the bar, heading for the parking lot. He was unlocking his car door when he heard Steve calling out his name.

“I’m sorry Stevie. Please… let me go home and hide for a while. I can’t deal with this right now.” He realized he was babbling, but it was like a dam broke and he couldn’t stop. “We were just reconnecting and then I went and fucked it up. Damnit… I am so sorry Steve. Please can we just forget I said anything? It was a long time ago and-”

He was cut off abruptly when Steve surged forward and captured Bucky’s mouth with his own. Bucky was shocked momentarily before his reflexes kicked in and he kissed back, Steve’s lips just as soft as he remembered them. He moaned softly as Steve’s hand grazed up his neck and over his jawline. The kiss seemed to drag on forever, a heavenly meeting of plush lips and velvety tongues and light nips of teeth. Bucky felt himself swoon a little inside.

When they finally broke apart, their chests panting, Steve brought his other hand up to cup Bucky’s cheeks. “You still talk too fuckin’ much,” he growled, and Bucky laughed before leaning back in for another kiss.

“I didn’t think you liked guys,” Bucky said in awe when they separated once more.

“Bucky… I have been gone for you from the moment you kissed me when we were kids. I was just so afraid to tell you then and lose you as a friend.”

“You punk… we could have had so much more time together if you’d have just said something!” Bucky chuckled as he pulled Steve’s body closer to his own.

“If I’d have said something? You’re the chatterbox you jerk! You should have told me how you felt.”

“I didn’t want to lose your friendship either.”

“Shit… we gotta get better at communicating with each other if we’re gonna make things work this time around.”

“Why don’t we start practicing on Friday? Will you go out on a date with me, Stevie?”

“Yes,” Steve whispered before closing in on Bucky for another mind-blowing kiss.

~/~

The next morning, when Bucky walked into work, Shuri was standing in the middle of their shared workspace wearing a self-satisfied smirk. “Did you have a good night, Bucky?”

Bucky tried to look offended, he really did, but he’d spent the night having pleasant dreams of kissing Steve at an outside table of a restaurant by the waterside. He smiled at his coworker. “I did.” He shrugged off his backpack and sat at his computer.

“How is Steve?” She asked as she followed him. “Will you be seeing him again?”

“You really don’t do subtle, do you?”

“I don’t have time for such things. Do you have a date or not?”

“Yes,” he replied, unable to hide his grin.

Shuri squealed with delight and danced in place. “Bucky’s gonna get nasty!”

“Just don’t send him any dick pics,” Peter mumbled from the other side of the cube wall.

Bucky blushed in response and Shuri cackled. “It’s too late for that, Peter!” she called back. “Did he send you one back?”

“I’m not saying anything about that, Shuri.”

She chuckled and took her seat at her desk. “As a sign of your gratitude, I fully expect your first daughter to be named after me.”

“Well, I was planning to do that anyway,” Bucky said with a grin.

“Damn right you were.”

Bucky looked up at his monitor and began to peruse his email. A minute later a notification popped up on his phone with a text from Steve.

Can’t wait for tomorrow night.

Bucky was unable to hide his grin as he picked up his phone to send a response.

If you enjoyed this, I’d really love a like, reblog, or comment (or all three!). Thanks for reading!

[dreamersscape]

The Raven Cycle: A Liveblog (Part 4)

(Let’s just pretend the gap since my last installment was a much shorter and more reasonable period of time than it has actually been, shall we? I tried to make up for it with the length of this edition. Suuuuuper long post under the cut.)

Me, reading TDT’s opening quotations: Okay, yes, good. Taking things out of your dreams into the waking world. Got it.

Me, reading the last quote: ‘I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven’t got the guts to bite people themselves.’?

YOU UNDERSTAND NOTHING OF MY PEOPLE, AUSTIN STRINDBERG. GET THEE HENCE.

‘He always returned with gifts, treasure, and unimaginable amounts of money, but to Ronan, the most wondrous thing was Niall himself. Every parting felt like it would be the last, and so every return was like a miracle.’ RONANNNNNNN. (Is it weird that it feels like Ronan is supposed to be my favorite bc he seems closest to my type and goodness knows I can relate to the grieving-a-father feels, but that’s not really the case so far? I love him dearly, but it feels like I should love him more. Weird? Not weird? I dunno.)

*carefully takes notes about the alleged details of Ronan’s birth because I know now every minor detail is actually Very Important*

‘Theoretically, Blue Sargent was probably going to kill one of these boys.’ Oh, good, it’s only a theoretical death. Glad we got that sorted out. Guess I can stop worrying about it now, right? :P

'Adam’s hand glided over her bare elbow. The touch was a whisper in a language she didn’t speak very well.’ I really like this line! Also, somewhat sadly, relateable.

'It had five tiny white buttons: four arranged in a cross shape, and one off by itself. To Blue, that fifth button was like Adam. Still working toward the same purpose as the other four. But no longer quite as close as the others.’ Oh, so we’re going to make my heart hurt over Adam Parrish in the first ten pages of the book. Fine.

'In that moment, Blue was a little in love with all of them. Their magic. Their quest. Their awfulness and strangeness. Her raven boys.’ Aw, those lines sound familiar. ;) And we’re all right there with ya, Blue.

'The dorms were emptier than they would’ve been during school term, but they were not empty.’ Whoops unrelated-to-TRC-but-nevertheless-on-brand feels ahoy.

So it’s been long enough since I read TRB that I can’t recall if I had any particular feelings about Declan then, but definitely feeling pretty sympathetic towards him now, what with his father’s seeming dismissive attitude toward him and the assault from this Gray Man. Also, have I read the word Greywaren before? Not sure.

Oh. So Ronan is the Greywaren, then. Guess that answers that.

’Mom is nothing without him’? Woooow, Declan. Wow. A bit less sympathy, now. (Maybe there’s something about their mother I don’t know yet, but still…)

’Creature was a good word for him, Ronan thought.’ Oof. He’s gonna make me eat my words, isn’t he? I already said I love you dearly, Ronan!

And now he’s gonna divert himself from his unpleasant thoughts with an external distraction. Oh good. That doesn’t mirror any of my other favorite characters at all.

'Back then, it had surprised Ronan; he hadn’t realized yet that Gansey could persuade even the sun to pause and give him the time.’ [drags a hand slowly down my face] Don’t do this to me, Maggie. Haven’t you already put me through enough with Adam and Gansey?

'His thoughtless expression was one of wonder or of pain; with Gansey they were so often the same thing.’ Well that–that’s a sentence.

’“Ronan, there’s no reason for that,” Gansey said sternly, as if Ronan had hurled a toy on the floor.’ Gonna start listing all the mom-friend!Gansey moments, 'cause I gotta.

'He laughed enough that Chainsaw abandoned her paper shredding to verify he wasn’t dying.’ This is cute, other than the implication that Ronan genuinely laughing is a all-too-rare occurrence.

’“So what you’re saying is you can’t explain it.” “I did explain it.” “No, you used nouns and verbs together in a pleasing but illogical format.”’ Hee!

I half expect tired-of-potential-and-only-being-useful-needing-something-more!Blue to break out singing ’I want much more than this provincial life/I want adventure in the great wide somewhere/I want it more than I can tell’ and I don’t say that at all in a disparaging way, that’s just what it made me think of. It’s a very understandable desire on Blue’s part.

’“Jane!” Gansey said joyfully.’ I will never tire of this. :)

'When she returned, she leaned on the table beside Adam, who touched her wrist. She didn’t know what to do in response. Touch it back? The moment had passed. She resented her body for not giving her the correct answer.’ So! Freaking! Relateable!

'Kavinsky headed directly to the large table in the back, and the postures of the other boys all changed drastically….Gansey stood, leaning against the table, and there was something threatening rather than respectful about it.’ I live a protective!Gansey appreciation life.

The Gray Man is quite a character.

Ummmm so chapter eight just hurt my soul a whole lot? Here’s a list of the culprits:

'He’d spent just two hours at the easiest of the jobs — Boyd’s Body & Paint, LLC, replacing brake pads and changing oil and finding what was making that squeaking noise there, no, there — and now, even though he was off, he was ruined for anything else. Sticky and sore and, above all else, tired, always tired.’

'The only rub was, Blue was another troubling thing. She was like Gansey in that she wanted him to explain himself. What do you want, Adam? What do you need, Adam? Want and need were words that got eaten smaller and smaller: freedom, autonomy, a perennial bank balance, a stainless-steel condo in a dustless city, a silky black car, to make out with Blue, eight hours of sleep, a cell phone, a bed, to kiss Blue just once, a blister-less heel, bacon for breakfast, to hold Blue’s hand, one hour of sleep, toilet paper, deodorant, a soda, a minute to close his eyes. What do you want, Adam? To feel awake when my eyes are open.’ (This hurt less than the 'to go home, to go home, to go home’ passage, but ONLY JUST.)

'He’d already seen the ignored, unopened envelope emblazoned with Aglionby Academy’s raven crest. For two days he’d been stepping over it, as if it might disappear if he failed to acknowledge it.’ (Ah, hello avoidant coping skills, my old friend.)

’[Adam] ached inside.’/'He still ached.’/'his spine aching, shoulders aching, soul aching’

'They stared at each other, both hurt.’/'He tried not to let it sound like he was still hurt, but he was, and it did.’/'She tried not to let it sound like she was hurt, but she was, and it did.’

’What do you want, Adam? He didn’t even know.’ (T.T)

'His wide eyes and gaunt face peered back at him, troubled but not unusual.’

I’m so done, he thought. No more. Please, I can’t take any more.’ (SAME.)

'The difference in tuition between this year’s and next was twenty-four hundred dollars. That number again. It couldn’t be a coincidence.’ (SERIOUSLY THOUGH, I CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE GANSEY/ADAM TENSION/CONFLICT/FIGHTING. WHEN DO WE GET TO THE GETTING BETTER PART?)

'They couldn’t hurt Gansey. Nothing could hurt him; people who said money couldn’t buy everything hadn’t seen anyone as rich as the Aglionby boys. They were untouchable, immune to life’s troubles. Only death couldn’t be swiped away by a credit card.’ (Oh Adam honey, you don’t even knooooow. :()

Adam! Some people show and feel love through acts of service! It’s not an inherently bad thing! Concern and the desire to help are not the same thing as pity!

Also, Blue’s “Then don’t be pitiful!” response was kinda strange, even for an impulsively perturbed remark? Just felt weird.

'She was looking at the box that served as his nightstand. Somehow it had moved several feet away from the bed. The side was badly dented, its former contents scattered violently across the floor. Only now did he remember the act of kicking the box, but not the decision to kick it.’ (Crap.)

'He calmed enough to remember that if he waited long enough, carefully analyzing how it felt, the emotion would lose its inertia. It was the same as physical pain. The more he tried to mentally decide what made pain hurt, the less his brain seemed able to remember the pain at all.’

'He’d never escape, not really. Too much monster blood in him. He’d left the den, but his breeding betrayed him. And he knew why he was pitiful. It wasn’t because he had to pay for his school or because he had to work for a living. It was because he was trying to be something he could never be. The sham was pitiful.’

'Some nights he lured himself to sleep by imagining how he would word the favor for Glendower. He needed to get the words exactly right. Now he rolled phrases around his mouth, desperately reaching for one that would comfort him. Ordinarily, words would tumble and lull through his mind, but this time, all he could think was Fix me.’ (On a related note, I’m dead.)

'He had a strange, disconcerting feeling that he couldn’t trust his senses. Like he was tasting an image or smelling a feeling or touching a sound. It was the same as just a few minutes before, the idea that he’d glimpsed a slightly wrong reflection of himself. Adam’s previous worries vanished, replaced with a more immediate concern for this ragged body he was carting around in. He’d been hit so many times. He’d already lost his hearing in his left ear. Maybe something else had been destroyed on one of those tense, wretched nights.’ (*Spontaneously revives to continue worrying myself to death over Adam Parrish* WHY CAN’T I TAKE CARE OF HIM?)

'Ronan, Noah, and Gansey were at the Dollar City in Henrietta, loitering. Theoretically, they were there for batteries. Practically, they were there because both Blue and Adam had work, Ronan’s shapeless anger always got worse at night, and Dollar City was one of the few stores in Henrietta that allowed pets.’ These stupid codependent teens.

“Hello? Oh, hey,” Gansey said to the phone, touching a notebook with a handgun printed on the cover. The oh, hey was accompanied by a definite change in the timbre of his voice. That meant it was Adam’ [tries to feel the joy I deserve at this past my intense anxiety about the probable clashing over the tuition thing]

'Ronan rested his forehead on the topmost shelf. The metal edge snarled against his skull, but he didn’t move. At night, the longing for home was ceaseless and omniscient, an airborne contaminant. He saw it in Dollar City’s cheap oven mitts — that was his mother at dinnertime. He heard it in the slam of the cash register drawer — that was his father coming home at midnight. He smelled it in the sudden whiff of air freshener — that was the family trips to New York. Home was so close at night. He could be there in twenty minutes. He wanted to smash everything off these shelves.’ He and Adam both want to go hoooome and I wish I could provide that for them and turns out I am actually Gansey.

'“Glitter,” whispered Noah reverentially, giving it a shake.’ Truly Noah is their light in the darkness. I LOVE HIM SO MUCHHHH.

'Farther down the aisle, Gansey suggested to the phone, “You could come stay at Monmouth. For the night.”’ Like I said. Also, I really, really wish I could hear both sides of this phone conversation.

'Sometimes Ronan thought Adam was so used to the right way being painful that he doubted any path that didn’t come with agony.’ I mean, fair. And heartbreaking.

'Gansey’s back was turned to them. “Look, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Ramirez? I didn’t talk to anyone at the church. Yes, twenty-four hundred dollars. I know that part. I —”’ Oh no. It’s happening.

'But one of the marvelous things about being Ronan Lynch was that no one ever expected him to do anything nice for anyone.’ I would hug you Ronan, except there is now more Adam 'n’ Gansey friction and I’m really bad at handling it!

'Abruptly, Ronan’s entire body went cold. Not a little chilly, but utterly cold. The sort of cold that dries the mouth and slows the blood. His toes went numb, and then his fingers….Then Noah reappeared in a violent sputter, like the power crackling back on. His fingers clutched Ronan’s arm. Cold seeped from the point of contact as Noah dragged heat to become visible.’ Oh, so Noah can do that with Ronan too? Because of his greywaren-ness?

'“I lost …” Noah struggled for words. “There wasn’t air. It went away. The — the line!” “The ley line?” Gansey asked. Noah nodded once, a sloppy thing that was sort of a shrug at the same time. “There was nothing … left for me.”’ Not allowed. Just saying.

'He didn’t say, Or maybe something terrible happened to Adam that day he sacrificed himself in Cabeswater. Maybe he’s messed up all of Henrietta by waking up the ley line. Because they couldn’t talk about that. Just like they couldn’t talk about Adam stealing the Camaro that night. Or about him basically doing everything Gansey had asked him not to. If Adam was stupid about his pride, Gansey was stupid about Adam.’ Yes, we know. :)

'From Ronan’s room, he heard Noah’s laugh. He and Ronan were throwing various objects from the second-story window to the parking lot below. There was a terrific crash.’ Having witnessed my younger brother doing basically the same thing once, I can vouch for the authenticity of this teenage-boy activity.

'Once, he had dreamt that he found Glendower. It wasn’t the actual finding, but the day after. He wouldn’t forget the sensation of the dream. It hadn’t been joy, but instead, the absence of pain. He couldn’t forget that lightness. The freedom.’ Yeah, don’t we all dream about the absence of pain. *buries face in hands* OH GANSEY BOY.

’“Do you want me to talk to her?” This was something he definitely, 100 percent felt certain in his guts that he had no interest in doing. “I’m really bad at talking, Gansey,” Adam said earnestly. “And you’re really good at it. Maybe — maybe if it just comes up natural?” Gansey’s shoulders collapsed; his breath fogged the glass and vanished. “Of course.” “Thanks.” Adam paused. “I just want something to be simple.” So do I, Adam. So do I.’ This right here? This A Whoooole Lot. Is there anything you wouldn’t do for Adam if he asked, Gansey?

'Noah slouched in. In a wounded tone, he said, “He threw me out the window!” Ronan’s voice sang out from behind his closed door: “You’re already dead!”’ OH. MY. GOODNESS.

’"You should come over.” “Not tonight,” replied Adam. I’m losing him, Gansey thought. I’m losing him to Cabeswater. He had thought that by staying away from the forest, he’d keep the old Adam — put off the consequences of whatever had happened that night when everything started to go awry. But maybe it just didn’t matter. Cabeswater would take him regardless.’ I dream of the absence of pain!!!

'His skin shivered and crawled, and he realized it was crawling with hornets, the ones that had killed Gansey all those years ago. There weren’t many this time, only a few hundred. Sometimes he dreamt cars full of them, houses full of them, worlds full of them. Sometimes these hornets killed Ronan, too, in his dreams.’ Oh, Ronan.

’Arbores loqui latine. The trees speak Latin. “You’ve done this before,” she said. Time was a circle, a rut, a worn tape Ronan never tired of playing.’ Huh. Has Ronan been dreaming of Cabeswater for years and years?

'Curled on the mattress, [Adam] covered his face with his summer-hot arm. Sometimes, if he blocked his mouth and nose, just this side of suffocation, sleep would overthrow him.’ THAT DOESN’T SOUND HEALTHY, MY BOY. :(

'He was awake enough to think of the invitation from Gansey. There might be an internship in there. Adam knew it was a favor. Did that make it wrong? He’d said no for so long that he didn’t know when to say yes….He hated the careful way Gansey had asked him about it. Tiptoeing, just like Adam had learned to tiptoe around his father. He needed a reset button. Just push the reset button on Adam Parrish and start him again.’ I am sad. (But maaaaybe he’s starting to reconsider the idea that he can never accept hep of any kind?)

'After he had exhausted this line of thought, Ronan gave in to the brief privilege of hating himself, as he always did in church. There was something satisfying about acknowledging this hatred, something relieving about this little present he allowed himself each Sunday.’ Oh, Ronan.

'“Hey, pal,” Matthew whispered. He was the only person who could get away with calling Ronan pal.’ Awww. :)

'Matthew Lynch was a bear of a boy, square and solid and earnest. His head was covered with soft, golden curls completely unlike any of his other family members. And in his case, the perfect Lynch teeth were framed by an easy, dimpled smile. He had two brands of smile: the one that was preceded by a shy dip of his chin, a dimple, and then BAM, smile. And the one that teased for a moment before BAM, an infectious laugh. Females of all ages called him adorable. Males of all ages called him buddy. Matthew failed at many more things than either of his older brothers, but unlike Declan or Ronan, he always tried his hardest.’ Whoops, I’m attached.

'Ronan had dreamt one thousand nightmares about something happening to him.’ *rubs heart*

'A lady reached over the top of Noah to pat Matthew’s head fondly before continuing down the aisle. She didn’t seem to care that he was fifteen, which was all right, because he didn’t, either. Both Ronan and Declan observed this interaction with the pleased expressions of parents watching their prodigy at work.’ Once again: Awww. :)

'Blue very much liked having the boys over to her house. Their presence at the house was agreeable for several different reasons….And the third reason was that it suggested permanence. Blue had acquaintances at school, people she liked. But they weren’t forever. While she was friendly with a lot of them, there was no one that she wanted to commit to for a lifetime. And she knew this was her fault. She’d never been any good at having casual friends. For Blue, there was family — which had never been about blood relation at 300 Fox Way — and then there was everyone else. When the boys came to her house, they stopped being everyone else.’ THEY’RE FAMILY NOW. <3

'Crossly, Blue realized that Gansey had now called her Jane so often that it felt strange to hear him say her real name.’ Embrace it, Blue. Embraaace it. :D

'He hid the insatiable wanting well, but now that she’d seen it once, she couldn’t stop seeing it. But he wouldn’t be able to explain it to Maura. And he would never really have to explain it to Blue. It was his something more.’ Awww. :)

(Sorry this liveblog is devolving mostly into either EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE or But this is cute! and if that is starting to become boring…)

’"What did they die of?” “Mom always said ‘meddling.’ Gansey completely forgot they were being secretive and let out a tremendous laugh. It was a powerful thing, that laugh. He only did it once, but his eyes remained shaped like it. Something inside her did a complicated tug. Oh no! she thought. But then she calmed herself. Richard C. Gansey III has a nice mouth. Now I know he has nice eyes when he laughs, too. This still isn’t love. She also thought: Adam. Remember Adam.’ 1.) I hope this line of rationalization works out for you, Blue. ;) 2.) I am still feeling torn, though. Blue and Adam are cute together. 3.) I’d be okay with a Blue-Gansey-Adam OT3 though.

'Maura frowned. In a low voice, she said, “I think I need to have a conversation with that boy.” “Someone does,” Calla replied, heading up the stairs. Each stair groaned a protest for which she punished the next with a stomp. “Not me. I’ve outgrown train wrecks.” Blue, alarmed, said, “Is he a train wreck?”| Her mother clucked her tongue. “Calla likes drama. Train wreck! When a train takes a long time to go off the tracks, I don’t like to call it a wreck. I like to call it a derailment.”  From upstairs, Blue heard Calla’s delighted cackle. “I hate both of you,” Blue said as her mother laughed and galloped up the stairs to join Calla. “You’re supposed to use your powers for good, you know!” After a moment, Adam said to her, without lifting his eyes, “I could hear y’all, you know.” Blue hoped fervently that he was only talking about Maura and Calla and not about her kitchen conversation with Gansey. “Do you think you’re a train wreck?” “That would mean I was on the tracks to start with,” he replied.’ I would just like to say that I am miffed by this passage on Adam’s behalf. Thank you.

The chapter where Mr. Gray comes to 300 Fox Way was… interesting.

'Gansey, a furious sun, glowed from the other side of the universe, his gravitational pull too distant to affect Adam.’ WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME MAGGIE I CAN NEVER RECOVER.

So yeah, I just read the part where Adam is thinking back to how he and Gansey became friends and I think my heart just burst from emotional overload.

'Sometimes Adam wondered what would’ve happened if he hadn’t stopped that day. What would be happening to him right now?’ Sometimes, Allan wondered what would’ve happened if Robin hadn’t stepped out of the trees that day. What would be happening to him right now? SORRY, I HAVE A PROBLEM.

Also, it only just occurred to me that Allan and Adam are A-names and Robin and Richard (even if that’s not what Gansey goes by) are R-names. This makes me so unreasonably happy!

'Gansey was giddy now that they’d decided to go back to Cabeswater. He hated nothing more than standing still. He ordered Ronan to put on some terrible music — Ronan was always too happy to oblige in this department — and then he abused the Camaro at every stoplight on the way out of town. “Put your back into it!” Gansey shouted breathlessly. He was talking to himself, of course, or to the gearbox. “Don’t let it smell fear on you!” Blue wailed each time the engine revved up, but not unhappily. Noah played the drums on the back of Ronan’s headrest. Adam, for his part, was not wild, but he did his best not to appear unwild, so as not to ruin it for the others.’ REEELATABLLLLE!!!

'Adam felt like he was watching it all from outside. He felt like he was about to catch another image, like a flick of the tarot cards he’d looked at earlier. Was that someone standing by the side of the road? I can’t trust my eyes.’ Leave him aloooone. :(

'Gansey leaned back, head thrown to the side, drunken and silly with happiness. “I love this car,” he said, loud to be heard over the engine. “I should buy four more of them. I’ll just open the door of one to fall into the other. One can be a living room, one can be my kitchen, I’ll sleep in one …” “And the fourth? Butler’s pantry?” Blue shouted. “Don’t be so selfish. Guest room.”’ He’s adorable.

Huh. Cabeswater’s gone!

'Adam felt that the Pig’s status perfectly encapsulated how he felt. It was not really dead, just broken. He was held inside the question of what it meant for him if Cabeswater was gone. Why can’t things just be simple?’  While this is a legitimate concern, Adam, to be fair, just a few moments ago you were worrying about was going to happen when you returned to Cabeswater for the first time after your sacrifice. Poor guy’s anxious over everything. :/

'Ronan leapt out of the car and slammed the door. The thing about Ronan Lynch, Adam had discovered, was that he wouldn’t — or couldn’t — express himself with words. So every emotion had to be spelled out in some other way. A fist, a fire, a bottle. Now Cabeswater was missing and the Pig was hobbled, and he needed to go have a silent shouting fit with his body. In the back window, Adam saw Ronan pick up a rock from the side of the road and hurl it into the creeper.  “Well, that’s helpful,” Blue said tersely.’ 1.) [Fond but exasperated] Oh Ronan. 2.) I appreciate your reaction, Blue. You’re not wrong.

'“I’m calling Declan,” Gansey said. “And telling him to bring a battery.” Ronan told Gansey what he thought of this plan, very precisely, with a lot of compound words that even Adam hadn’t heard before. Gansey nodded, but he also dialed Declan’s number. Afterward, he turned to Ronan, who leaned his cheek hard enough against the top of the window to make a dent in his skin.’ Please stop dealing with difficult emotions/situations by causing yourself pain, Ronan, honey.

'Gansey rounded on Adam, clutching his own headrest and looking behind him. “Why is it gone?”’ Why is my mental picture of this so endearing?

'Declan’s Volvo glided up, as quiet as the Pig was loud. Ronan said, “Move up, move up” to Blue until she scooted the passenger seat far enough for him to clamber behind it into the backseat. He hurriedly sprawled back in the seat, throwing one jean-covered leg over the top of Adam’s and laying his head in a posture of thoughtless abandon. By the time Declan arrived at the driver’s side window, Ronan looked as if he had been asleep for days.’ Oh, Ronan. What am I going to do with you?

'And as he sat there, observing the set of Declan’s shoulders and the way his eyes looked, he realized something startling. Declan was afraid. Probably it wasn’t apparent to Gansey, who was fairly oblivious, nor to Blue, who didn’t know what Declan looked like ordinarily. And Ronan’s feelings about his older brother were like blood in the water; he wouldn’t be able to see through the bilious clouds. But to Adam, who’d spent a fair amount of his life afraid — not only afraid, but trying to hide it — it was obvious.’ [Gansey voice] I am right to have Allan feels here and I will not be made to feel bad about it! (Also, in blast-from-the-past news, I’m really close to finally done with putting my anxiety-and-Allan thoughts into words and I’m excited for that.)

I love when Noah senses one of the other boys is in distress and goes to them and does his ghostly best to comfort or assist them. <3

'He thought about the day he’d been stung to death by hornets and lived anyway. Gansey ran over the memory until he no longer felt the thrill of hearing Glendower’s name whispered in his ear, and then instead gave himself over to feeling sorry for himself, that he should have so many friends and yet feel so very alone. He felt it fell to him to comfort them, but never the other way around. As it should be, he thought, abruptly angry with himself. You’ve had it the easiest. What good is all your privilege, you soft, spoiled thing, if you can’t stand on your own legs? ’ OH HONEY :( (But Noah does try!)

'“It’s not just the blood,” Ronan said. His chest moved up and down with his breath. “Something else got out, too.”’ Uh-oh.

Phew. They dispatched the nightmare creature while remaining mostly unscathed. Although they needn’t go around asking each other, "Are you murdered?” with the reply, “I think so.” anymore, please.

'“There was another one,” he said. “It got away.”’ Well, that’s not good!

'“It’s for the distasteful thing,” Gansey said. He plucked at the T-shirt with deprecating fingers. “I’m rather slovenly at the moment, I know.”’ [Fond, amused sputtering]

Oh, they’re going to the Barns!

'Gansey, a bit of the gallows in his voice, advised, “Poke its eye.”’ [Confused, taken-aback sputtering]

'“It feels the same as when you guys lived here,” Gansey said finally. “It seems like it should be different.” “Did you come here a lot?” Blue asked.  He exchanged a glance with Ronan. “Often enough.” He didn’t say what Ronan was thinking, which was that Gansey was far more of a brother to Ronan than Declan had ever been.’ Brothers <3<3<3

'Ronan loved it so much. He nearly couldn’t bear it. He wanted to destroy something.’ That’s…one reaction to profound love. (Yes, I know. Profound love for something that’s been stripped away from you.)

'“Ronan Lynch,” he said. It was the voice Ronan couldn’t not listen to. It was sure in every way that Ronan was not. “Stop this right now. Go see your mother. And then we’re leaving.”’ More Mom-Friend!Gansey.

'Ronan walked directly up to her, close enough to see that she had not changed a bit since the last time he had seen her, months and months ago. Though his breath moved the fine hairs around her temples, she didn’t react to her son’s presence. Her chest rose and fell. Her eyes stayed closed. Non mortem, somni fratrem. Not death, but his brother, sleep. Blue whispered, “Just like the other animals.”  The truth — he’d known it all along, really, if he thought about it — burrowed into him. Blue was right. His home was populated by things and creatures from Niall Lynch’s dreams, and his mother was just another one of them.’ Huh.

'My soul’s in enough peril as it is.” At this, Gansey’s face turned to a genuine frown and he looked as if he was about to say something. Then he just shook his head a little….“She didn’t try to see the future. It’s not something she became; it’s something she is. I could just as easily say that you’re evil because you can take things from your dreams!” Ronan said, “Yeah, you could.” Gansey’s frown deepened. Again he opened his mouth and closed it.’ Same, Gansey. Same.

'Ronan looked at him. That look, Blue thought. Ronan Lynch would do anything for Gansey. I probably would, too, she thought.’ If only he knew it. *rubs heart*

'Blue and Gansey exchanged a look. Blue’s look said, I’m so, so sorry. Gansey’s said, Am I the pretty one?’ Bless his cotton socks.

'Ronan thought of what Declan had said all those months before: Mom is nothing without Dad. He’d been right.’ Okay, but does Declan know about this stuff and how it works?

'Ronan interrupted the silence. “Cabeswater. Cabeswater is a dream.” Calla stopped rotating. “You don’t have to tell me I’m right,” Ronan said. He thought of all the times he had dreamt of Cabeswater’s old trees; how familiar it had felt to walk there; how the trees had known his name. He was tangled in their roots, somehow, and they, in his veins. “If Mom is in Cabeswater, she’ll wake up.” Calla stared at him. Silence was never a wrong answer.’ Okay then.

'But those words of Declan’s needled Ronan: She’s nothing without Dad. It was like he knew. Ronan wanted badly to know how much Declan knew, but it wasn’t like he could ask him.’ No, that would be too easy.

'“Says you and Dad were both dreamers,” Matthew said, “and you’re going to make us lose everything.” Ronan sat very still. He was so still so quickly that Chainsaw froze as well, her head tilted toward the youngest Lynch brother, purloined tuna sandwich forgotten. Declan knew about their father. Declan knew about their mother. Declan knew about him.’ Curious. Very curious.

The Gray Man is going to Monmouth Manufacturing!

'He had spent forty-eight hours more or less awake and restless and then, on the third day, he had bought a side-scan sonar device, two window airconditioners, a leather sofa, and a pool table. “Now do you feel better?” Adam had asked drily. Gansey had replied, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” “Hey, man,” Ronan said, “I like the pool table.” The entire situation made Blue apoplectic.’ Tag yourself; I’m Adam with a dash of Ronan. Pool tables are cool.

’"You are still wearing those incredibly stupid boat shoes, and of all the things that you have bought, you still haven’t replaced them!” Gansey, bewildered, observed his feet. The movement of his toes was barely visible through the tops of his Top-Siders. Really, in light of recent events, these shoes were the only things that were right in the world. “I like these shoes.”’ Update: he’s still adorable.

’[Gansey] exchanged a glance with Adam, because it had to be done’ 1) What does this mean? 2) I love them SO MUCH!

'In some parallel universe, there was a Gansey who could tell Blue that he found the ten inches of her bare calves far more tantalizing than the thirteen cubic feet of bare skin Orla sported. But in this universe, that was Adam’s job. } He was in a terrible mood.’ Oooooh. 👀

'So these were the people Greenmantle had warned him about. Fellow seekers of the Greywaren, whatever it might be.’ Curious and curiouser.

'Blue cheerfully spit a mouthful of brown water on his boat shoes. It pooled in the canvas over his toes. “Good God,” he said. “Now they’re really boat shoes,” she replied.’ Blue’s crusade continues.

'He knew what it was. He just didn’t know why it was. He said, “Well, that’s a wheel off the Camaro.” And it was. It looked identical to the wheels currently residing on the Pig — except this wheel was clearly several hundred years old. The discolored surface was pocked and lumpy. With all of the deterioration, the elegantly symmetrical wheel didn’t appear that out of place beside the shield boss. If you overlooked the tattered Chevrolet logo in the middle. “Do you remember losing one a little while ago?” Ronan asked. “Like, five hundred years or so?”’ Aggressively the Most Curious.

'Blue held his gaze, unflinching. Crisp, she replied, “None at all.” And it was a lie. It should not have been, but it was, and Gansey, who prized honesty above nearly every other thing, knew it when he heard it. Blue Sargent cared whether or not he was interested in Orla. She cared a lot. As she whirled toward the truck with a dismissive shake of her head, he felt a dirty sort of thrill.’ Oh, you kids.

'“Hey, Noah.” He was too busy being ghostly to attend to her, however. Currently, he was engaged in one of his creepiest activities: reenacting his own death. He glanced around the tiny yard as if appraising the forest glen containing only himself and his friend Barrington Whelk. Then he let out a terrible, mangled cry as he was struck from behind by an invisible skateboard. He made no sound when he was hit again, but his body jerked convincingly. Blue tried not to look as he bucked a few more times before falling to the ground. His head jerked; his legs bicycled. Blue took a deep, uneven breath. Though she had seen him do it four or five times now, it was always unsettling. Eleven minutes. That was how long the entire homicidal portrait lasted: one boy’s life destroyed in less time than it took to cook a hamburger. The last six minutes, the ones that took place after Noah had first fallen but before he actually died, were excruciating. Blue considered herself a fairly steadfast, sensible girl, but no matter how many times she heard his torn-up breath seizing in his throat, she felt a little teary. Between the twisted roots of the front yard, Noah’s body jerked and stilled, finally dead. Again.’ I feel w o u n d e d.

'They wandered to the door like that, a pretzel of dead boy and not-psychic girl.’ Don’t even look at me!

'Gleefully, Noah said, “There’s a pool table now! I’m the worst at pool ever! It’s wonderful.”’ THIS SWEET CHILD IS GIVING ME EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH.

'Gansey, pacing next to his ruined miniature Henrietta, set his eyes on Ronan. There was something intense and heedless in them. There were many versions of Gansey, but this one had been rare since the introduction of Adam’s taming presence. It was also Ronan’s favorite. It was the opposite of Gansey’s most public face, which was pure control enclosed in a paper-thin wrapper of academia. But this version of Gansey was Gansey the boy. This was the Gansey who bought the Camaro, the Gansey who asked Ronan to teach him to fight, the Gansey who contained every wild spark so that it wouldn’t show up in other versions. Was it the shield beneath the lake that had unleashed it? Orla’s orange bikini? The bashed-up remains of his rebuilt Henrietta and the fake IDs they’d returned to? Ronan didn’t really care. All that mattered was that something had struck the match, and Gansey was burning.’ #JusticeforMiniatureHenrietta

'“Don’t say anything stupid to him,” he told Gansey.’ Did I read that right? Did Ronan really just advise Gansey to be careful?

'The Gray Man recalled the buzz of his phone and patted his pockets. His phone was missing, however. Maura Sargent had stolen it while they were making out. In its place was the ten of swords: the Gray Man slain on the ground and Maura the sword driven through his heart.’ Interesting. Sorry that always seems to be my reaction to the Gray Man, but there it is.

[fulldreamsahead]

Cold Feet Cold Body

So we have our players, 3 girls and two boys. In my dream they did not have names so I will just retroactively give them names that I think fit them. My name is Maria. My female friends’ names are Tina and Janine. Tina is a dyed blond with her roots showing, she likes to do smokey eyes but never really washes away the rest of her makeup correctly and it always ends up looking a bit too smudged. Janine is a yes girl with a big mop of curly black hair on her head and warm-toned skin, she is always beautiful and on point. I never get to see myself but in snippits of movement I can see I have dark-ish skin and thick dark colored hair. Our men are Travis, a man who looks like Adam Devine in a Anders Holm-style hat, and Jared his associate, a man that is tall and jacked.

Our plot begins with me being invited to be a bridesmaid at Tina's wedding. We’re living in a relatively metropolitan area that is skirted on all sides by farmland (much like DFW) and her dream, even though she has NO REALATION WHATSOEVER to the country, is to have the ultimate country wedding. She has always liked the idea of barn raisings and such. In her wedding preparations she has become a 'country girl' and even adopted a slight southern twang even though she is from California born and raised. I find this detestable but am very polite and smile through the fields of fake. I want to believe Janine is my guiding light, I try to take her aside to talk about it but in dipping my toe into the water I realize that she cannot even tell the difference and is just elated to be maid of honor. I am at a loss. While preparing for the wedding realize the most perplexing thing; I have not met or heard of the groom, a man by the name of Timothy. For some reason I find it weird that no one is allowed to slang it to Tim, his visage seems too elegant and I am suspicious. Timothy is apparently loaded and rents us out a mansion-like air bnb in the middle-of-nowhere farm country to do our wedding preparations. The wedding itself will be held at a neighboring farm, ONLY 20 miles out and the preparations there are going smoothly. The groom and the groomsmen will be staying at that location, but it is not as updated as our location, and he wanted us to be pampered and have a girls spa weekend prior to the Sunday wedding.

  On Friday morning we arrive, I park and find mysterious Timothy helping his beloved move all her things into the air bnb. It turns out he is actually my high school boyfriend TIM who dumped me after cheating on me with some 'skank' at a party. I found out via an old friend Bernice, who had been at the party and showed me photos of him macking on some blond chick in a skimpy pink tube top and then taking her into one of the bedrooms. We do a flashback of the scene and me dumping him while pouring an entire route 44 over his head. Back in the present I make pleasantries with him. He doesn't seem to remember me but I am not surprised. It's been about 11 years since then and we only dated a few months in freshman year. Tina giddily grabs his arm to officially introduce us and of course Janine asks the stereotypical question of “how did you guys meet?” It turns out that Tina was the 'skank' at the party and we have another flashback revealing so. She refers to the 'me' in the story as 'some bitch' that she gladly stole this hunk away from. She says they lost touch after their one night stand but then by fate they met up again about 6 months ago and the sex was 'just as good'. I am furious, I have been friends with Tina since high school. I know for a fact she knows what I went through, she was with me while I was ugly crying in the high school bathrooms. I am already on edge when she brings out a dog. A big fluffy husky who turns happily at the sight of his owners (Tina and Timothy). My fists clench. That is my dog. This is where it gets really strange, apparently. I lost my dog earlier that year having a bad time (maybe there can be a bad year montage at the beginning of the movie) and Tina offered to help me look. She was the one who insisted that I finally give up after about a month, but I was heartbroken nonetheless. I mention that out loud that he looks just like my Archduke Ferdinand. I can see the cracks in her glass smile as she says “oh hun, not this again, I just loved your sweet pooch so much I had to get one of my own! Is it too soon?” She turns to Timothy to ask him to take the dog with him and I insist it's ok. I have a sure fire way of figuring it out, I just need a moment alone with the dog. After hauling in the rest of the belongings, I say goodbye to TIM much to his discharge.

  We spend the rest of the morning setting up the house and taking stock. There are some farm animals in the house and, while from the outside it looks like a regular old fashioned country two story, on the inside it is a totally decked out fully modern gorgeous property. The backyard has endless greenery rolling up to a crashing wave of cedar forest lining the property. There is a gnarly hundred-year-old oak tree on the eastern half of the property. As Tina is setting up her expansive makeup collection in the bathroom and Janine has decided to lay down on the couch and take advantage of cable, I met up with 'Fluffykins' in the yard. When I had Archduke Ferdinand, I had him micro-chipped. Out here in the middle of nowhere I can't actually get it checked to see if he’s mine but I do remember that he was mistakenly micro-chipped in his butt instead of his back due to his eagerness. I doubt anyone else would make a similar mistake. He follows me eagerly (remembering me?) and I go to investigate a local shed on the property. Opening the door looks like a scene out of a horror move; you see my silhouette power stance in the doorway of the dark and cobwebbed palace of yard instruments. While a stud finder can't identify any microchip information, it can ping you to its location in the dog. A quick swipe over the butt and I hear the ping. I drop to my knees and shed a few tears and hug my dog. He struggles and licks my face in confusion. After I am able to recollect myself I am furious, the rages of Satan burn in my eyes and we have a montage of some stupid things that Tina has done to me over the years. “Oh yeah, those bangs totally suit you!” “No girl that dress does not make you look fat.” “Oh honey, there is no way a man can resist a girl with frosted tips.”

  Oh why did I let her go with me to the salon more than once. This 'bitch' has been ruining my life for years and I am done. I breath in, sigh, and Ferdinand follows me out of the shed and I lock up shop. I go inside and put on my customer service smile and greet Tina who whines at me and asks me where I have been. I tell her that I was just getting some fresh air and she makes a note about how she doesn't want the humidity to throw off my hair because we all have to look in sync. The corner of my mouth twitches but I stay focused.  I ask about food options and she sighs haughtily saying she couldn't get the host to feed us so we are going to have to send someone to go get food. I offer quickly and she thanks me with a fake sickly sweet sound. Everything about her looks like a cracked up doll: the eyes too big, the smile too painted on, and I can't take it. I go down to a local 'grocery store' or shall I say dollar mart and pick up what can be turned into meals for us for the weekend. This is where we meet Travis and Jared. They are bumming it in the back of a pickup in the parking lot, drinking monster energy drinks and doing chew. I put my bags in the car and approach them. They begin to puff out their chests like birds to hit on me and I stop them right in their tracks. “Hey fellas I have a fucked up idea, want in?” They deflate immediately and seem a bit scared of how abrasive I am. I tell them the gist of what is going on and Jared is particularly passionate about taking another person’s dog. I thank him and I ask him if they could pull a little Texas Chainsaw Massacre and come over to scare the shit out of the girls tonight. That will teach Tina to be in a place she doesn't understand and crack her fake-ass exterior. They seem reluctant so I offer them each 50$ and they are in. The plan is they go at the house Strangers style, with no intention of actually entering the house and we will disconnect the phone lines prior. I make a mental note to unplug the girls’ phones and tamper with the lock screens to keep the brightness on so they lose battery and we are 'trapped'. They understand their limits and not to hurt anyone and we are golden. I give them the address and we are set. 

I return with the food and Tina nitpicks my choices while Janine makes the best of it. The rest of the evening is uneventful, while Tina complains that she wishes she had catered a sushi platter to us instead of the burgers we were forced to eat because the meat goes straight to her non existent flat ass. As it gets dark I put my phone plan into action and convince the girls to watch a horror movie to really set the mood. We watch Friday the 13th and at 11 p.m. the fun begins. I hear the boys shit truck putter by on the highway, they honk just driving past the house to alert me that they will be parking down the road and on their way. The movie still has 15 minutes and this could not have been planned better. As the movie winds down the boys make it to the property. First they disconnect the power. The girls scream in the dark and I follow suit, I’m a pretty good actor after years of putting up with Tina's bullshit. As we head as a group for the breaker box outside the house, a light hung just above the small scary shed to make it even more erie is still on and tall Jared is standing under it in a mask. Tina is terrified and runs back inside the house, Janine pulls on my should and screams we need our phones. We run back in, lock the door, and the girls run for their cells phones finding them all to be drained and dead. They also cannot seem to find the cords to their chargers. Tina immediately blames me for my shitty unpacking for some reason and I snap at her in the heat of the moment that her dumb-ass fiancee must have misplaced them! Janine is crying, poor girl, she does not deserve this but she is an innocent bystander in what must be done. Ferdinand is pacing by the back glass door whimpering. Tina asks him what's wrong. He barks and a sickle shines just right and scratches down the glass. The girls freak out and run around the house. Tina makes a beeline for a neighboring bedroom instead of the master for some reason. Meanwhile the boys are laughing outside about what a good job they are doing, they are over in the barn with the other animals laughing about why a sickle is even on the property. “Are they harvesting wheat like the slavery ages?” Travis has a great idea to let the animals out and Jared is skeptical, he doesn't want them to get hurt. Travis says “Why would they? It’s a closed property. They'll probably just run amok.” So Jared agrees and they open the barn and all the cages. The horse runs out first and they snicker about which windows they should harass next. 

Back in the house shit gets real when Tina pulls out a fucking gun from the top of the extra bedroom closet on the second floor. Both Janine and I are twice as on edge. “When the fuck did you get that?!” Janine asks (a huge anti-gun person). Tina says “Shut the fuck up Janine, you know they could have stopped Sandy Hook if the teacher would have been armed.” Janine is furious and Tina loads the gun and holds it loosely in her hand, the two of them bicker and I am panicking. I have to tell the boys to get out as soon as possible this has gone tits up and that is when I here a smash of glass downstairs. Tina takes front position and we all get dead silent. I panic realizing we never set up a safe-word and knock over a decorative vase in the hallway. Tina pivots the gun at me and I shout a little too loudly for her to GET THAT FUCKING GUN AWAY FROM ME, hoping to alert the boys and also scolding myself remembering that I told them specifically not to come inside the house. We reach the bottom of the stairs and we hear some non-specific crashing in an adjacent room, we move around the corner and see nothing and then, jump-scare, it’s the fucking horse, his eyes illuminated red with the flashlight we found in an upstairs bathroom sink cabinet. Tina fires the gun instantly, missing the horse and the thing goes fucking nuts, kicking and neighing destroying everything. We collectively lose our minds and scatter. The boys are on the east of the house and contemplate if that was a gunshot. Jared says “This shit is too much” and that they should bail. Travis agrees and as they pass the gnarled oak they hear a sound and turn. It’s a mother raccoon. Jared punches Travis for scaring him and comments on how cute it is. Travis tells him to fuck off and screams at the animal hoping to scare it off for scaring him. It full on attacks him and he runs careening around the corner of the house with Jared cursing under his breath to help him.

A lot of other high-jinks ensue over the night and in the morning we are all wrecked. Especially Tina whose hair is a rats nest and her smokey eye has become a smokey face. We trapped the boys at some point and somehow by the grace of god they do not blame me, they just say they were trying to have some fun with city girls and something about gentrification of air bnb in the area, surprising everyone with their wit. I took the gun away from Tina and am rubbing my temples with it in my hand. She was too trigger happy anyway. I end up sighing and saying fuck it and come clean about everything, going from screaming to tears, Tina is sympathetic and right when we are about to make up there is a crackle in the tree line and something gray comes running at us in full speed. In total automatic reflex Tina grabs the gun an fires at it thinking its the raccoon, but its Ferdinand, he is hit. Everyone goes into fast motion at that point, we bring him to the vets office and in the waiting room Tina and I have a screaming match and everything comes out.  

Unfortunately like most dreams there is no real ending... Though I wish there was... 

[ivythewitch]

Hurricane preparedness, survival, and cleanup tips from a Florida Witch

Hurricanes are really scary. Especially if you aren't used to going through them year after year. Here are some tips to help you before, during, and after the storm.

I've lived in Florida for about 12 collective years. I lived here in 2005 when the big nasty Wilma completely wrecked my island. I've got knowledge, please use it!

Prep for staying put

When they state that your area is going to be impacted, OR its more than a 50% chance of impact, start your prepping. Don't wait. Not only will people be in Panic mode if you wait, the stores will run out of the things you need most. Bread, water and soups are the first things to flyoff the shelves. Not to mention batteries and candles and such.

Make sure you have everything you NEED packed up first. Things you need includes your passports or driver's license birth certificate anything important for your house such as a copy of your lease or utility bills or deeds Etc prescription copies and things like that. This does not include the $200 painting hanging on your wall that's what insurance is for.

Put all of those items double bagged in gallon-sized zip-top plastic bags and put them with your suitcase and the stuff you can grab at a moment's notice if needed.

Next thing to have is enough water for 3-5 days PER PERSON. Let's be real, none of us drinks the recommended amount of water, but we should still have it on hand. You're gonna be hot when the power is out, so you'll drink more. Gallon jugs, small water bottles are great. You can also fill up pots and pans from the tap if your water is relatively drinkable (most places should have decent filtration) and have those ready to go for pets or for emergencies.

Also, fill your tub or tubs with water. Use this for bathing, washing dishes or cleaning up spills that occur while you're waiting out the storm.

Food: most fresh fruit and vegetables can handle a couple days without refrigeration, have those on hand in moderation. Leafy greens and broccoli need to stay chilled so avoid buying these if you can. Cucumbers, carrots, bananas, Apples, oranges, tomato and avocado are really good for you, relatively affordable for most budgets and can survive without being cold.

Canned goods. Avoid Campbell's concentrated soup unless you plan on having extra water needed to make them not taste like pure salt. Have a can opener that works by hand. If you wouldn't eat it normally when times are fine, don't force yourself to buy it because a checklist says so. Buy what you like and you'll be fine. Keep in mind that whatever you eat will most likely be cold, so avoid cream based soups and chowder. Those just sound gross cold.

Nuts, dried fruit, applesauce, and chips are good snack food that don't need special storage.

Don't forget to grab extra stuff for your kids and pets too.

Weather proof your house. Plywood or shutters on the exterior, towels and plastic on the interior with the blinds shut tight. your windows become dangerous glass bombs during a storm. Don't take any risks.

Sandbag for your doors. You can make these yourself with cat litter, flour, salt, etc. Youtube has tutorials.

Prepping to evac

Just because you're leaving your home, doesn't mean you don't need the above. You do, but it needs to go in the car with you. Prioritizing what's actually important is key here.

Your important documents need to be loaded in the car first. Put them in the glove box now.

All the food and water you've got from the above, load it in the car next. If you have pets, load their crates if and only if you can still get yourself, your kids, and whoever else in plus their suitcase of necessities. If you know you have a massive pooch and he can't fit his crate and your stuff in, leave the crate behind. Put his tags on his collar and when it's time to go, load him in with the family and have someone who is capable, have a massive lap friend.

Here's what to pack in your bags to take with you: clothes for a week, socks and Undergarments for 2 weeks, tennis shoes, workboots if you have them, any flat, comfortable closed toe shoe is key.

Personal hygiene.this doesn't mean your makeup and your blow dryer and your vanity mirror. This means toothbrush, toothpaste, razor and shave cream, hair brush, hair ties, eye glasses, etc. If you have room after you pack all that. Great, bring what fits. But pack for SURVIVAL before anything. "But I can't live without my urban decay lipstick collection!" Yes, YOU FUCKING CAN.

Now that your getaway car is loaded up, protect the house. Do the plywood and stuff listed above.

People tend you your dishwasher is water tight. They lied. HOW EVER dishwashers are still great to keep valuables that don't come with you in one place. They're reinforced with surrounding cabinetry and their doors often lock shut, making it hard to open without unlocking. Waterproof your valuables, place them inside and if you do happen to get flooded, you'll know you can locate all your items together in one place and hope for the best.

Keep in mind, items are replaceable, your memories and lives are not.

Tell family you can trust your evac plan. And tell a neighbor too. Cell phones may go out and it's good to know someone knows where you're at.

When your home is secured and your car is prepped, IF THERE IS TIME, check on any disabled or elderly people in your neighborhood. Make sure they're evacuating or have a plan.

Put all valuable paintings, furniture, electronics etc on top of counters, in plastic bins, in the tub, make it hard for water to get to them.

Before you leave, manually turn off your power. Do it. Your house could be full of water when the power comes on, and that means water in your outlets which means fire. I speak from experience here folks. Turn off your power yourself. Throw out or take the food in your fridge and freezer. Turn off your power.

Lock your doors. Sand bag your exit and head on towards safety

After the storm

When emergency services or whoever says it's safe to return, you may return. Don't badger them, don't yell and scream. They know you want to go home, but if there is a powerline down on the road by your house, it's there job to tell you to wait. Let them keep you safe.

If you stayed, wait until at minimum 24 hours after the storm passes to venture outside. Power lines, trees, and other storm debris could make it dangerous to venture out. Take the dog out if you need to, but stay off the roads unless it's a life threatening emergency.

Bring protective clothing if you know there's been flooding. Closed toed shoes are key here, as are face masks and gloves. There's feces in that water which means feces in your house. Be safe.

Most likely if your home was flooded, you'll have to remove drywall to prevent mold.

Restock your hurricane kit for the next one with anything you consumed in the storm. Beware that even if you are able to get home for cleanup and damage control, supplies may be short for a few days so be prepared.

Good luck my friends! Stay safe

[theaspiringwanderess]

Packing For The West Coast Trail; Essentials, Clothing and Food

Return to My WCT Story | Booking: Reservations/Transport | Clothing, Essential Items, Recommended Items, Optional Items, Food

You Don’t Need The Kitchen Sink - Trust Me

Packing is a BIG deal for the WCT. It’s a lot to pack and there’s the pressure of not getting caught without the essential gear while keeping it all at a manageable weight. My first WCT trek I vastly over packed a 53lbs bag! It killed my hike and was hard on my body and most of the extra was food I hated, which was the worst. My second time I managed 38lbs and it went down dramatically as I ate! I packed everything on each list below (minus the book which i forgot and the GPS which I didnt bring) and still kept it at 38lbs including my food. Always opt for the lightest version. Cut size where you can, even the smallest items eventually add up (ex. some people cut off tooth brush handles, I have a rain shell instead of a full jacket, a double foam sleeping mat is much lighter - but bigger- than a blow-up mattress, an ultra light single unit stove, etc)... One spork for all and all for one spork!

Clothing

The proper clothing is a key factor in keeping you dry, warm/cool and happy. It’s important to keep it light weight but you also must be certain it’s functional for your needs. In 2016, my sister brought a rain jacket she tested and thought was waterproof. A full day of beach hiking in pouring rain later, not only did she learn the hard way it was not, but poor girl was cold, soaked and shivering too hard to do anything but shiver. Be 100% sure about your gear. You also want to be selective about fabrics. Avoid cotton, which retains moisture, and feather/down which loses its loft (heat trapping ability) when damp. Merino wool is a great bet to stay warm and dry and is the best option for socks and sweaters. Synthetic, sweat-wicking active wear is light weight and dries quickly for the daily hike. I also prefer my leggings and shorts to have a zip-up pocket or two. 

I pack my clothing in a waterproof stuff-sack, and I put tanks in one small ziplock, underwear and bras in another, and pjs in a third so they stay dry, clean and easy to find. I keep a safeway bag for dirty clothing and my lesser used items at the bottom (towel, bathing suite).

I always pack my sleeping bag in a garbage bag every morning before it goes in my pack. In the event I fall in a creek... or the ocean?... it’ll add a level of extra water-proof protection. I also re-waterproofed my Lowa hiking boots for the first time ever... this is their second visit to the WCT after all. And, as a random side note, don’t plan to wash your clothes on the WCT. I’ve seen so many people make this mistake. Trust me, nothing that gets wet will dry. EVER. If you have a sunny day, air it out, dry it in the sun, pack it up in a ziplock.

It’s important to note everyone has different needs. You might be ok with 2 pairs of hiking socks! Or one pair of leggings... This is just what worked best for me based on the experiences of both my trips. Customize your WCT adventure-wear as you see fit ;)

3 tank tops, active wear / workout (sweat wicking, not cotton!)

2 pairs of leggings, active wear / workout (seat wicking and stretchy for flexibility and comfort with zip pockets)

2 pairs of workout shorts (sweat wicking and stretchy, w/zip pockets)

3 pairs of merino wool hiking socks

1 pair of wooly socks to sleep in (in case you get cold)

2 pairs of sock liners (major blister prevention technique)

PJs: 1 tank top, 1 merino wool sweater, 1 pair merino leggings or light weight sweat pants

1 or 2 long sleeved sweater(s) active wear / sweat wicking (to wear under your rain jacket or as a warming option in morning) *I took one, but in the event you’re sweaty or expect a lot of rain, 2 is advisable.

3 pairs of underwear active wear / workout (or merino wool if you want to splurge) *for women 7 panty liners (1 per day) to extend your underwear life.

1 bathing suite top (use a pair of used shorts for bottoms and you’ll double their use and wash them at the same time!) ... or dudes wear just your shorts of course!

Essential Items

*For your emergency kit it is extremely important to bring allergy and pain meds. Unexpected reactions and injuries happen all the time. On my Murtle Lake canoe trip, my friend had a terrible reaction to the abundance of mosquitos for the first time in her life and I myself, not having allergies, have come away from the WCT with skin infections and allergic reactions. On average 80-100 hikers a year are emergency evacuated from the WCT due to injury or inability to continue.

1 good hiking backpack with hip belt & chest strap & RAIN COVER

1 pair waterproof hiking boots high top - comfortable, already broken in

1 pair hiking gaiters (protect against ticks, bugs, keeps pants, legs and boots dry, shields mud!)

WCT Trail Map, Tide Tables (provided by parks staff)

WCT overnight pass copy (in a ziplock bag somewhere safe)

$160 minimum cash for water taxi, crab shack, chez moniques (in a ziplock bag somewhere safe)

1 pair ultra-light sandals

1 waterproof rain jacket

1 towel (very small, microfibre recommended)

bear spray

single size cooking stove (I love my jetboil flash lite)

cooking stove fuel for 7 days (2 small cans or one large 230 g can)

long handled spork (this titanium one is the shiznit!)

emergency whistle

emergency kit (gauze, medical tape, various sized bandages, disinfecting/antibiotic cream, a few tabs of common medications such as tylonel, asprin, allergy treatments like benedryl or reactin).

2 regular toilet paper rolls with cardboard tube removed (in a ziplock)

Fire Starters:

1 lighter & 1 flint striker (learn how to use it! This is a great video)

Dependable fire starter (2 or 3 tiny balls of dryer lint rolled with a small amount of unscented vaseline inside a ziplock bag work great in wet weather and will burn for 10-15 mins)

sunscreen

2 (1 litre) water bottles OR 1 bottle and a 2 litre camel back water bag

Water purification tabs (my go-to is Pristine brand). Ensure they are the 30 minute variety (not 1-3 hours). Alternatively some people use a UV light but this does require batteries and adds weight

tarp, lightweight

paracord (15 m or 50 ft)

2 carabiners, 1 that can hold 50 lbs, 1 small light (for random things)

1 sleeping bag, synthetic fill (ideally good for +5 celcius)

1 waterproof tent with rainfly (*I have a cheap 2 person waterproof coleman tent with a tarp bottom that I later bought replacement aluminum poles for. The poles made a 5lb tent a 3lb tent - impressive investment. I pack the poles and my friend the tent body = 1.5lb/each)

cell phone (I use my phone camera a lot so I brought 2 backup chargers. Solar charging is not an option given fog)

3 extra large black garbage bags and  

3 large ziplocks (for trash, as an emergency poncho, keep feet dry in wet boots, the uses are endless)

1 pocket knife

1 flashlight

sunglasses

closed cell foam sleeping pad or light weight blow up mattress pad

1 watch, battery or wind-up water proof or at least resistant - digital watches can get damaged when wet or expensive watches ruined)

1 poop trowel.. yes you read that correctly - the plastic kind

1 bug spray (there weren’t many bugs, lots of wind though!)

2 travel sized hand sanitizers (for covid & as well after nature’s call)

1 emergency blanket

1 small soap or body wash (environmentally friendly brand)

1 travel toothpaste & toothbrush [small]

gloves (fingerless mesh back type for weight lifting is best)

neck gaiter (*instead of a hat - can double as a hat)

Other Recommended Items

unscented lip balm... you don’t want to smell like a walking buffet

1 light weight sleeping bag liner to keep sand and dirt out (I prefer silk)

ball cap or foam visor *non-water absorbing (this can be worn on a sunny day or under a rain hood to keep rain off your face).

1 emergency plastic poncho

1-2 hair ties (it gets wet and windy and they double as pack ties!)

sweat band

baby wipes (good for cleaning your face, or dishes...)

a small book or time passer (don’t bring a giant novel)

Items I’d Consider Optional

rain pants (*optional as long as you have a long waterproof rain jacket. gaiters provide extra leg protection or if its warm don shorts! skin dries)

small camera with good battery life (not necessary if you use your phone)

pen and paper for notes or emergencies

small GPS or Spot satellite device

1 waterproof phone case (if you bring a phone)

1 extra light pillow (optional - i had one this time but usually use my sweater)

Food Recommendations

On the WCT you are expending roughly 3000-4000+ calories per day. That’s more than double the average 120lb marathon runner going hard for 2 hours if they ran 12 miles. You are Climbing, Hauling, Pushing, and your feet are operating at the agility level of “expert cat on steroids”. So, essentially you NEED the calories. But packing the right amount (and weight) of food is challenging. I’m happy to report this time I ate it all by the end so it was the perfect amount. If you find you are running low or forgot something, you might be able to grab it from the Nitinaht crab shack and likewise if you over pack you can leave extra food there for someone else. But please, do NOT leave garbage.

**Note, I must, must stress - DO NOT leave garbage on the trail. There is no garbage removal service. Parks staff do not remove it and with covid there are fewer staff in general. Garbage is a major bear attractant and you put others at risk leaving it behind. 2021 is a year with only Canadians allowed on the WCT and the amount of garbage was appalling.

The WCT, and island in general, is VERY humid. It’s best to bring items in individual packages, otherwise things clump or mush. On our first trip, my sister brought important medications that melted and became extremely difficult to take. My advice is to pack any daily meds you must bring in the plastic containers with individual days. This way if something similar happens to you, you can still be safe knowing the amount taken.

Additionally, I work with a very simple but effective system of ziplock bags. This keeps everything fresh, organized, and easy to find as you go. I have one large ziplock for breakfasts, one for lunch & snacks, and one for dinner. As I finish breakfast I move it to the bottom of my bear bag and put lunch/snacks on top for easy access and so on - Ta-da!

I consider lunch and snacks the same thing as we never stopped for a cooked meal mid-day. In 2016 my sister talked me into doing dried lentil dinners and it was the WORST (... for me, she loved it!). It made it hard for me to want to eat, which was a big set back. I have this vivid memory burned into my brain from our first trip of an adorable father - daughter duo whom we criss-crossed a lot. One rainy day he had her tucked up under a tree eating the most delicious looking meat and cheese sandwich and my instant thought was ‘awww, so cute... I’d kill you for that sandwich though...”. Who knew a sandwich could insight such murderous intent?!

My lesson learned was when it comes to physically demanding, multi-day hikes, pack healthy but also things you enjoy eating. I strive for light weight first and foremost. I love fruit but it doesn’t pack well, so items like fruit leathers work well. Real, individually wrapped, cheese sticks are a great too; by day 5 they get soft or oily, but they never go bad (harder cheeses like cheddar are naturally preserved), so I stick to 4 or 5 day cheese supplies. My ultra-favourite hiking snack - individual wrapped rice crispy squares! I pack 2 per day... and a couple extra for desserts! I never packed enough of each junk food to have one for every day, instead with treats I generally aimed to have 4-5 of each and mix it up. In between hikes, I also spend some time picking up and trying different types of nuts. Don’t get me wrong, peanuts are good, but after 4 days they get pretty boring. I often pop into a Winners or Home Sense store and look for enticing types of nut mixes and I’ll keep them in my car to snack on and decide if its a keeper.

Im also very careful about toothbrushing too because prolonged periods of hiking without proper dental care wrecks havoc on your teeth.

Ok! Down to the nitty-gritty! My dinner ziplock has 1 dinner for each night and sometimes a hot (dehydrated) dessert. And I have a small ziplock for items like my toothbrush, toothpaste, body wash slips, and anything else that might need to go in the bear bag. Again, I’ll preface this by saying its important to note everyone’s needs are unique and based on the experiences of both my trips, this is the food I packed.

Breakfast Ziplock

7-8 easy breakfasts (i pack 1 peaches & cream oatmeal for each morning and an extra in case we missed the bus).

coffee - starbucks via’s have been my favs! but nescafe also makes individual coffees and a fab toffee nut cappuccino option!

sugar and powdered creamer (individual pkgs) & tea in a smaller ziplock

a smaller ziplock for toothbrush/paste, body wash etc

Lunch / Snacks Ziplock

bag of beef jerky

individual (real) cheese sticks (usually cheddar, or a hard variety works best, soft cheese goes bad faster)

a few bags of different varieties of nuts (*lemon sea salt almonds, tamari nut mix, cilantro lime cashews, Dare brand Vietnamese coffee flavoured macadamia nuts)

2 bags snack sized hawkins cheezies

5 individually pkgd M&M’s chocolate & oatmeal cookies (*the M&M cookies were crumbly, the oatmeal squished but stuck together!)

16 Rice crispy squares - my ultra-fav hiking snack, individually wrapped (2 per day + couple extras)

4 fruit leather bars in a smaller ziplock

4 snack sized oh-henrys in a smaller ziplock

2 bags Stinger caffeine gummies & 2 capsules Nuune electrolyte/caffeine tabs in a smaller ziplock

Dinner Ziplock

1 dinner for each night and sometimes a hot (dehydrated) dessert

Presidents Choice brand (bagged) vegetarian chili *this was a new try for me, normally I advocate for dry only food because wet is messy, can leak, is heavy and can go bad fast. BUT! I ate this the first night on the trail so it was gone quickly, and it stood up to the abuse and was only $3!

AlpineAire potato cheddar soup (dehydrated) is my fav dinner. fast, hot, make in the bag, and tasty!

2 Stove Top brand stuffing; cut a small hole, let out the air, retape. write water and instructions on the bag. Throw away the box. (*mix with 1 pkg gravy)

1 Instant mashed potatoes; cut a small hole, let out the air, retape. write water and instructions on the bag. Throw away the box. (*mix with 1 pkg gravy) - FYI this is a BIG meal, make only what you can eat or bring a smaller amount if you cant eat the whole thing.

3 pkgs reduced salt gravy mix

1 Nomad Nutrition vegetarian shepards pie dehydrated meal.

1 dehydrated dessert hot option (maple rice pudding this time!)

Return to My WCT Story | Booking: Reservations/Transport |

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Amazon.com: Nokia Lumia 930 International Unlocked Version – White, no warranty

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Top reviews from the United States

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Reviewed in the United States on March 12, 2015

Verified Purchase

I bought this to replace my iPhone 6 on T-Mobile. While it does work on T-Mobile I knew going in that I’d be losing LTE which sucks but since it supports HSPA+ bands for T-Mobile I figured it wouldn’t be that bad and it would tide me over until there was a better WP flagship. I’m so glad I bought it though, yes the internet is a little slower but this is by far the best phone I’ve ever used.

First off the design and the materials used are amazing. It feels like something you’d expect to come from Apple, except somehow better. It’s super solid and expensive feeling. It looks absolutely amazing, super high end.

The camera I wasn’t expecting to be that amazing but it totally blows the iPhone 6’s camera away! It’s kind of hard to take a bad shot with this camera.

Overall, even if you’re on AT&T or T-Mobile and have to go back to 3g or HSPA+ do it, it’s well worth it!

Reviewed in the United States on December 30, 2014

Verified Purchase

Great phone. The speed on H+ network protocol is perfectly fine for web browsing if you are going to use AT&T networks. Thinner and lighter than the 920. Has the wireless charging and the 5 inch screen is just about perfect. This phone is fast works well. The 8.1 interface works well and I quickly adjusted to it. One nice feature is the screen mirroring. I have a Samsung TV and I can mirror to the TV flawlessly. It was darn easy to do, just make sure your TV has this function. I like the fact that you can change the size of your icons and they “rotate” or they rotate graphics like pictures from your album and the like. Was pretty straight forward to move files to and from the phone to my PC as well…this is a huge plus, was able to copy my ringtones, music and pictures with no problem.

Reviewed in the United States on March 14, 2015

Verified Purchase

I have been using this phone for over 2 weeks now and I can say that all the Apps that I had on the Samsung Galaxy S5 and LG G3 are on this phone (hint: from the windows store) and they actually work a lot better. I notice no lag and a very fast and fluid experience. One thing I really enjoy that Android and Apple Phones don’t have is the extremely loud speakers, Built-In Pedometer, and Amazing 20MP Camera.

I don’t need the 20MP camera but in dark and low-light conditions, it outperforms many flagship android and cyanogen phones. I think the only competitor to this phone (in terms of camera quality) are the Apple Phone 6 and HTC One M9

Great Windows Phone and will get upgraded to Windows 10 later this year which is a plus.

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Reviewed in the United States on September 26, 2015

Verified Purchase

Hello, my old phone was an Samsung galaxy, (Android) I liked my phone and it was easy to handle. But I was looking for something new. I use at home and at work windows on the computer and I was curious about how the windows phone works. After studying the tests about the Lumia 930 I decided to buy it and try it out by myself. I wasn’t expecting that this phone is so easy to handle and work with it! That surprised me so positive that I can recommend this phone to everyone who is ready for something new!!! In the beginning it’s an little bit confusing, but you get it really quick. I use my new phone with ATT and it works really well! I don’t have access to 4G LTE, what maybe would be an issue for someone, but still in 3G+ band you get an downstream until 6mbps. What is good and for me enough. If you are connected to your wifi, you get the maximum what your line can do, over 60 mbps with charter spectrum. About the phone self, it works fast and its more able to customize than my old Android phone. The camera is amazing and the tools what you get to edit your pictures are awesome! The navigation is doing a great job like google maps. And you see the speed limit now what I really like. Cortana, the virtual assistant works fast and you can train here to control the phone per voice only, that’s so need if you drive your car. To cut the long story short, the Lumia 930 is an awesome phone what works really fast and what’s easy to handle it. I would buy it again! Perfect job what Nokia and Microsoft did here!!! The only thing what they have to improve is the app store, but that’s an different story. Thanks…

Reviewed in the United States on November 18, 2014

Verified Purchase

I love this device – it is everything that you would expect after reading the specs, and then some more 🙂

I have had multiple windows devices – but this one clearly blows everything else out of the water, its simply amazing!

Pros: Great screen and display (go out and read under the sun for an amazing experience about sunlight legibility) Camera Audio/Video experience

Cons: Battery life could have been better, but maybe expected, given the power needed for its huge screen

Reviewed in the United States on March 24, 2015

Verified Purchase

This is the 3rd Lumia phone I’ve used and it’s truly an amazing device. it’s very quick, the display is great, the camera is awesome. Cortana has become a ‘can’t-do-without companion. Only negative I can think of is the lack of compatibility on the 4G service with my ATT. But I can honestly say, coming from a Lumia 1020 from ATT, I can rarely notice the difference. I have (on several) occasions streamed Netflix movies on its H+ and it works great, no lag at all..

Reviewed in the United States on December 23, 2014

Verified Purchase

I’ve had a lot of phone, Heck I’ve had both the iphone 6 and the Galaxy S5 this year, but this phone imho beats them all. Its amazing. I live the sturdiness and how nice it feels. I might like a slightly larger screen on it, but its amazing either ways. People complain about the windows phone ecosystem not having enough apps, but I’ve never looked for an app there that i could not find (official or unofficial), and the unofficial ones work better a lot of the time. (check out 6nap!) I love this phone. Its amazing.

The seller was also prompt and it came in even earlier than I expected.

Reviewed in the United States on June 19, 2015

Verified Purchase

I love the phone. Everything arrived as advertised. I do with the Windows Store had more/better apps. I absolutely love the display and functionality of the phone. Lack of Amazon Music app, and other apps that I used to use often, is annoying. I hope this gets sorted out before I have to switch phones.

Top reviews from other countries

M. Edwards

5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 4, 2016

Verified Purchase

Good phone and good value.

Amazon Customer

5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars

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Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 25, 2016

Verified Purchase

Great phone great price fast delivery

bakmek72

5.0 out of 5 stars Windows phones are the best, and Lumia 930 is the best high-end smartphone …

Reviewed in Canada on October 4, 2015

Verified Purchase

Windows phones are the best, and Lumia 930 is the best high-end smartphone made by Nokia. Solid and very fast. The screen resolution is great, very sharp, and perfect size. The seller Double-in has great customer service and the best price in Canada.

Matthieu Laperrière

5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars

Reviewed in Canada on August 17, 2015

Verified Purchase

Great Customer services, do recomend

Gary Bowers

5.0 out of 5 stars Rarity and Security

Reviewed in Canada on November 24, 2014

Verified Purchase

The Nokia Lumia 930 is the last high-end smartphone made by the legendary Nokia with MSFT OS, making it rare. It also has a number of features that place it a cut above other phones. First, it has the Windows 8.1 OS with standard Office products such as WORD, EXCEL, POWERPOINT, and ONENOTE now in open source. It also has Outlook.com with Onedrive preconfigured. The processor is 2.2GhZ, almost twice the speed of an average phone, and the display is at the 1920×1080 standard of HDTV. Then, the camera has a 20 mega pixel Carl Zeiss lens with autofocus that works at above average range. The most interesting feature of this phone that differentiates it from other smartphones is that it has a built in hard drive of 32GB size. This means that at levels of reasonable use, a removable micro SD card is not actually necessary. This is an additional security measure protecting against the event of a stolen cell-phone. The Nokia Lumia is compact in size, and has a removable battery. The battery power is comparable to a high-end AA rechargeable. You will love this phone.

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Amazon.com: Nokia Lumia 930 International Unlocked Version – White, no warranty

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