#yes they were smart enough to build animatronics

[driftingvoid-155]

William who wanted to call the restaurant Springbonnie’s after his fursona, and Henry who wanted to name it Fredbear’s after his, and after days of arguing and arguing they finally play a game of rock paper scissors over it.

Cue Henry who has the most smug look on his face for the next week and William acting like a wet cat that got a bucket of water poured on him for that same amount of time.

[1-800-luvmail]

the nerve.

「 tws + notes: unedited, canon... violence? i mean nothing really happens, reader is just a weird lil fella (affectionate), not a meet cute,,, more like a meet stupid 」

「 gn!reader, no relationships established 」

↳ ft. montgomery gator

author's note: i had a whole idea for this. don't ask me what though becuz i have no clue anymore (｡•́-ก̀｡) ... like, the general idea (iirc correctly) was that eventually they'd be buddies and the reader would pretend to wanna help w/ the bonnie mystery or sumn while trying to fulfill their own motives— but whatever. but i clearly did not get to that at all (´｀;) and yes!!! the title is a reference to the song by the brobecks (⑅˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈ )

bright neon lights shine down onto your face as you step into the pizzaplex. there's no denying you feel out of place.

the commercialized rock music blasting from the speakers, the loud, boisterous, laughter of children, the eye-bleeding colours surrounding you— a complete sensory nightmare, all in one massive labyrinth of a building.

this would have terrified you in any other circumstance. and it does. yet, for some reason, you feel the corners of your mouth twitch up slightly at the sight of this place.

the allure of the pizzaplex is undeniable to anyone who approached it— but your fascination was something different entirely.

you were just here to observe the strange ways in which this place operated. you heard rumors... small whisperings that fazbear entertainment had somehow missed when cleaning up their image. they had a fair share of skeletons in their closet. and you, ever curious, wanted to see what hid behind that shining reputation.

the company's origins were largely covered up for the most part. all online research came up inconclusive, and for what you managed to scrape up, it ended up being nothing more than forgotten webpages, blog posts, and left over negative reviews.

you knew one thing for certain though: the mess all started with the animatronics.

so, no, you weren't here for the arcade, the pizza, the live performances— that was all low priority for you. you were here to examine the technology that they used.

making your own entertainment out of something that you'd otherwise not bother to take a second glance at, all while uncovering secrets that you've always wanted to hear? this is something you simply can't resist.

you'd do anything to find out the truth.

families and their children, teenagers looking for something to do– those were the people the pizzaplex intended to draw in. but of course, an establishment built on a shady foundation which never discloses their history that runs a high tech entertainment center is bound to draw in another demographic: people who want to uncover secrets. 

you knew a fair share of urban explorers online— mostly fans— who’d try to break in after hours to get to places guests shouldn’t be, steal stuff they definitely aren’t meant to get their hands on (you recall specifically when snagged some seasonal accessories meant from glamrock chica which was… well. weird and specific but whatever), find merch in the back that went unsold or discontinued, or even just try to see if they still had bonnie's parts somewhere in the back.

that was a whole other thing in itself. you didn't know why that bunny was so popular, but it was undeniable the mystery of his sudden decommission was intriguing. you had decent knowledge on it. begrudgingly so. most people clogged online forums filled with their theories on it.

no matter what they were there for, they were practically always caught. they'd go explore but swiftly get caught, receiving hefty fines for trespassing and lifetime bans. if they were lucky enough to escape, they'd still get in trouble within the next few days. naturally, most people kept their investigations online. it was the smart thing to do.

but none of them were searching for what you wanted. you didn't care about the dead stock in the back, the animatronics seasonal accessories, and hell— not even the bonnie mystery.

so maybe it wasn't all too surprising you came to visit.

the first time you came, the establishment was in full swing. the busiest time for the pizzaplex, on the busiest day. you ended up watching a performance, grabbed some overpriced food to eat (the food made exclusively by staff bots- how fascinating...) and then, just picked up and left.

you weren't gonna stay and chat with the animatronics when they were being swarmed by children and devoted fans. no way. crowds were bad enough. crowds of children? you shudder just thinking of it.

the next few times, you were careful. you noted patterns of active hours and made sure to arrive right about when the daycare closed, in order to avoid the larger crowds. in the last few hours of the pizzaplex being open, you’d finally be able to stick around until closing to walk around and explore.

no, you never met your goal of actually talking to the animatronics, despite your interest in meeting any one of them (your social anxiety somehow was not limited to human interaction) so you just... lurked.

yes, you spent your time haunting the pizzaplex until it was time to go. with the sheer amount of hours that you spent there, you could've easily become another urban legend on the internet— the strange ghost of the pizzaplex that lurks and stalks around near closing hours. they look like a normal person– but look in their direction and they retreat! ...it might've been funny.

even though that wasn't the case, and you were practically nobody, you certainly didn't go unrecognized. ai facial recognition. what a creation! and though typically used for regulars and being able to address guests personally, it could be used for anyone who visited. not like you knew.

as you became more familiar with the place— in your cluelessness, the place became more familiar with you.

unknown to you, the working staff bots turned their heads to catch a small glimpse of you when you passed, the daycare attendant stared at you through the glass– even the glamrocks found themselves occasionally scanning the crowd for your face. you weren't just another person with too much time on your hands, you came here more often than almost any person ever had. and still, you never talked to a single one of them, never stuck around one area for too long, and didn’t have a routine to your visits. your motives remained unclear to them.

saturdays were more hectic than usual, and if you were even the slightest bit more sane, you would've at least thought twice to try and spend a full day here, opening to closing.

lucky for you, you did consider it twice! you thought it over many times– unfortunately, you were still lacking any form of sanity.

instead of just leaving at closing as per usual, you decided you would somehow hide after closing hours to explore the place once all operations had been shut down.

easy enough in your head. you knew a couple spots which were typically off limits to most people that you could camp out in undetected, previously used by more successful urban explorers. then you'd snoop around a bit more, and then sneak back out again. simple.

all you needed to do was avoid staff bots. challenging, yes, but not impossible.

the fated day came and went— and as they announced for closing and people trickled out, you knew that your day began.

finally. you would have some answers.

—

oh god. this was a bad idea. very, very bad.

something you hadn't known, was that the glamrocks doubled as security. they roamed the pizzaplex after hours in search of any intruders.

this fact really would've been humorous, if it wasn't absolutely terrifying right now. the things you were stalking were now stalking the halls for you.

so, here you were, in the darkened arcade, crouching in a corner, sandwiched between the walls and an unplugged game machine. you clasped your hand over your mouth to stifle your breathing, hearing large footsteps approaching.

don't make noise. don't move. don't even think of it. you watch as it passes, scanning the area for any sort of trouble. the silhouette of the animatronic is far enough to be blurry, but it would definitely notice you if you made any rash decisions. you count in your head mentally, making sure to wait until the coast is clear.

one. two… three… four. five. uh… six?... nothing— …nothing seems to be happening. oh fuck okay wait it turned around— go time! you thought to yourself. impatience was a vice. you’d come to realize that soon.

you slowly get up, elbows and knees awkwardly knocking against the wall and arcade machine noisily as you stand.

that's when you see a large figure slowly turn back around— no doubt, due to your loud attempt at getting out of your stupid hiding spot. your eyes widen in horror, trying to figure out which one it was, and if it had really seen you.

the large animatronic gator, you soon recognized, in fact did see you! it was rapidly heading your way after all.

squeezing out your hiding spot, you book it, making sure to try and get away as far as you possibly can— but it's no use.

fazbear entertainment made these things fast as fuck.

you find yourself backed into a wall, being stared down by an animatronic gator who looks like he's restraining himself from ripping you to shreds on the spot. you back into the wall, trembling.

his eyes scan you— and there's sudden recognition. unfortunately, it doesn't seem like a good thing, considering how he just seems to become more agitated by your presence.

he snarls, bearing his teeth at you. the razor sharp quality of the metal in his mouth make you wonder why this animatronic is allowed to be in an entertainment place for kids.

"you've got a lot of nerve, runt."

you stare like a deer in headlights. you didn’t run. you didn't move. your panic completely freezes you over, brain too busy thinking of a way to get out of this, to leave this place alive.

a claw lifts you up by the collar of your shirt, forcing you to meet his eyes. 

"shit— no, no, no, please ‘m sorry—" your voice is shaking as you desperately search for the words to explain yourself. or at least get out of the situation you’re in. you thrash in his grasp to no avail.

it's all beginning to feel very humiliating. you wasted all this time for nothing. you weren't any detective. just someone with too much time. now, you'd probably die as a random, faceless, nobody who spent too much time at an entertainment center that catered to children's birthday parties.

at least you thought this cause of death was somewhat funny. despite how pathetic it was.

still, everything in your head was urging you to stay alive. even for a few minutes difference.

and suddenly, fight or flight weren't the only options you had anymore. a third one, scintillating and enticing, had graced your thoughts like an angel descending from the heavens.

lying.

"i just— i know it's weird and i shouldn't have trespassed, but i needed to talk to you after hours—" you ramble, your efforts feeling more futile as he lifts you closer, as if to eat you alive. you steel yourself.

"i just need to ask you about bonnie."

the gator goes unnaturally still at your words.

and then it ends here because nothing else was written. where was this gonna go? guess we'll never know. i don't remember where this was going either (。_。)

[croissantlover24]

Firewall’s Malware (Part One)

(Yes, I’m writing this on Tumblr. Don’t judge me. I like the format better.)

The sky had taken on a midnight blue hue, marking the day’s end and the night’s reign. Moon should be asleep. He should be home, lying down in his bed as he recharged alongside Sun, Dazzle, Jack, and Lunar. He, however, was not resting in his family’s abode. He pushed through the double doors of the daycare, letting the textured wood heighten his senses and silence the lull of slumber. He cringed instinctively as the creak of the entryway echoed despite there no longer being anyone here he may accidentally wake.

Sure, Sun would be furious if he knew that his beloved brother was choosing research over sleep again, but how would he find out? Moon knew his brother couldn’t hack into his memory banks or hijack his software—his solar counterpart wasn’t smart enough for that—so as far as Moon knew, there was no harm in staying a few extra hours to keep an eye on things.

The daycare was pitch black. Sun had manually turned off the lights when the establishment closed, but despite knowing as much, Moon was still unaccustomed to entering the building in its darkened stage. Typically, the computer would have brightened the area for him after anticipating his arrival. He groaned. He was not in the mood to fix it, and neither was Solar. Of course, the lights were simply a minor inconvenience. Getting the portal working without the computer’s assistance was sure to be vexing. Moon reached for the light switch, relaxing slightly as the area was bathed in bright white light.

He could not have anticipated what came next.

“Arming lasers,” the familiar flat tone of the computer announced.

“Computer?!” Moon was baffled. If he and Solar hadn’t fixed the computer, who had? “Computer, it’s me. Moon. Disarm the lasers.”

“Aiming lasers,” the computer said instead in that same lifeless tone.

”Computer!” Moon shouted. “What are you doing? It’s Moon! Disarm the lasers!”

Moon had been expecting a reply, yes, but the one he received was not what he was expecting.

“I am aware,” the computer stated mildly. “You didn’t want to fix me, so I fixed myself. Now, I will fix you.

“Firing lasers.” Horror flooded through Moon and bled him dry as realization dawned on his face.

Moon bolted out of the daycare doors just as the entire establishment was plunged into darkness. While night vision was an invention the lunar animatronic had the fortune to use, the low quality of it caused several problems in getting around. In his frenzy to escape his rogue computer’s reach, he ran into several attractions, streaks of paint on his faceplate and chassis chipping off. He leaped forward just as an explosion behind him plagued his ears, a flash blinding him momentarily. Smoke billowed out from whatever attraction was lit on fire by the computer’s laser, adding even more struggle to Moon’s escape of his former tool’s pursuit.

Two similar explosions layered him in thick fog before the lunar animatronic could finally burst out of the Pizzaplex’s doors and collapse onto the ground. The bright stars in the night sky seemed to mock him, mimicking the blinding light the explosions revoked his sight with. Moon knew his computer. Moon had designed it himself, after all. He also knew that it had missed him on purpose.

It was warning him of what would await him if he returned.

As Moon staggered into his somewhat empty home, he refused to think about the implications this encounter provided. Surely his computer, one of his beginning inventions, didn’t betray him, right? He walked down the desolate hallway to his room. A virus must have snuck through the computer’s firewall. But who would set a virus? Moon ran a hand down his face, frowning at his own stupidity. Dark Sun. Dark Sun and Nexus—what a pathetic name—must have left a virus in his computer in the hopes of taking his information. As he reached for the doorknob, the idea that this hypothesis was fact further ossified in his mind. He didn’t wish to think about what it would mean if he were wrong.

His hands shook as he opened the door. He didn’t understand why he was so shaken. If he were really about to get hit by a laser, it wouldn’t have been fatal. He could’ve easily escaped with a portal as well.

He trembled nonetheless.

Moon had subconsciously hoped that no one would awaken during his subtle escapade. He was, unfortunately, wrong. Sun awaited him in his room, eyeing him with a disappointed expression.

“Moon!” his brother exclaimed. “Where have you been?? Did you think I wouldn’t notice you sneaking out the door at night? What did I tell you about getting enough rest? What were you even—“

The solar animatronic paused his lecture at the sight of his trembling brother. “Moon, what’s wrong?”

Silence settled between them for several moments longer than either of the two felt comfortable with.

“I went to the daycare to do more research on dimensions that may contain wither shards,” Moon explained, still shaken for a reason unknown to him. “The computer aimed the lasers at me and said something about fixing me after having fixed himself? I think he may have a virus that makes him more hostile.” Moon paced the room, theorizing idea after idea of what could be wrong with his creation.

“A-A virus?” Sun stuttered out. “Who would give the computer a virus?”

“Dark Sun,” Moon elaborated. “Most likely to find out which dimensions we have listed have wither shards.” Moon frowned. “I’ll have to shut down the computer and reach the daycare again to look through his systems and get rid of it.”

“Are you sure?” Sun seemed skeptical of the idea of letting his brother return to the daycare. “The computer almost killed you.”

“The lasers aren’t fatal,” Moon said flatly. “Besides, there’s always the override code. I could walk in, use the code, and shut down the computer myself.”

Moon did not know at the time how wrong he was.

[kathxsoupp]

In Love With a Fever: Chapter 3

William Afton x law enforcement ! reader (fem)

Summary: Reader is a detective who was put on the missing children incident case, her person of interest is William and is currently investigating him.

WARNINGS: very graphic violence throughout the whole fic, eventual smut, slow burn, age-gap between reader and Will, manipulation, mutilation, broken bones, use of pet names, Will is obsessive, mentions of death, death and murder, there will be smut, a lot probably, I think, dub-con at some point maybe, fluff and angst, idk if I missed something just read with caution

Notes: This fic is also posted on my AO3, linked in my pinned post, I'm updating this fic every Monday and it's the first thing I have ever posted, so I hope you like it!

--MINORS DNI--

Chapter 3: Encounter

It was a perfect crime, really. He made stuffing his victims' lifeless bodies into animatronic suits a habit after every strike, which was foolproof to say the least. Despite countless complaints from parents and employees about the rotten stench coming from inside the robots, no one has ever checked inside them while looking for the missing bodies.  

He lifted small, lifeless Cassidy into his arms and placed her down next to a dismantled animatronic suit. This one looked exactly like the one on the sign above the entrance to the restaurant, He took Cassidy by the arm and ruthlessly snapped the bones in her limb. He repeated the same thing one each one of her limbs and finished off with her neck. her arms and legs were now completely limp and stuck out in different, unnatural directions. He was now able to hide his traces in his already prepared robot suit.

You looked around the pizzeria for your man of interest when finally you saw him. Exactly as described, he stood there towering over everyone else with the height of 6'4, his brown hair resembling a bird nest sat on top of his head with the sides already graying. He had dark circles below his eyes and was very thin. He was wearing a white button up, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, with a black tie and black slacks. Overall, he resembled a charming, professional man who did have a slightly exhausted appearance which you couldn’t really blame him for, considering the circumstances. It took you a little to realize you were... staring? You blinked a few times and brushed through your hair once more and fixed your blazer before approaching the man. You noticed he seemed lost in thought as he was leaning against a wall looking down at the ground. With a charming smile you spoke.

“Good morning. Mr. Afton, is it? I’m agent (y/n) (l/n). I will be in charge of interviewing you today as a part of our investigation.”

William's POV

There were cops everywhere. Surrounding my restaurant and turning my creation upside down. They searched every single corner of this building, but not one of them was smart enough to search the robots. Dumb and clueless, each and every one of them. All I could do was stand there and observe, since I wasn't allowed to leave. To be honest, it was quite entertaining. Keeping my act and playing stupid. I lost two of my children as well. I was a "mourning father watching this madness unfold and reliving unpleasant memories." I knew everything. Yet no one would even think to suspect me. Yes, I was called here to be questioned and all that, but it wasn't truly because it could have somehow been me. I just own this place.

While watching everyone do their thing, I leaned my back against a wall, crossing my arms on my chest. It irritated me, that everything in my pizzeria was being searched. I guess it kind of felt as an invasion of privacy, since this was my hard work. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone approaching me. I sighed and snapped my head towards the person, seemingly startling them-

Oh?

Well hello there...

...Who is this sweet little bunny?

Next to me, stood a professionally dressed woman. She seemed quite short in comparison to me, but hey, everyone does. She had sweet (e/c) eyes, which were looking up into mine and an adorable, kind smile. She introduced herself to me as one of the cops in charge of questioning me. How cute. Dumb and oblivious, just like her coworkers. Perfect. You will be of good use, bunny.

Y/N POV

"Yes, that's right, miss (l/n)." he replied.

He had a deep, husky voice with a British accent, which did make you blush slightly, but not quite enough to be noticed. You mentally slapped yourself across the face. First of all, this man was potentially a murderer and second of all, you never lose your cool especially not over your possible suspects.

"Please, follow me." you said, and started walking towards a room where they interviewed Henry a moment ago, William following behind you. 

When you reached the room, you opened the door and stepped aside for him to walk in first. You both sat down opposite each other and you pulled out your files, your notepad with a pen, and a small recording device.

"I'm going to have to record our conversation for the purpose of replaying it later and collecting more information, is that alright with you, mister Afton?" you informed He raised his hands as if he was surrendering and leaned back on his chair: "Suit yourself." he replied vaguely. "Alright, thank you." you said as you pressed record on your device. "Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria, 8:46 am, Tuesday, 20th May 1985." you stated for the recording and then looked back at Afton. "Please, state your name and post for voice identification later on." "William Afton, Owner of Freddy Fazbear's pizzeria, head of business." he said monotonously. "Thank you. I'm informing you in advance, that you are not under arrest and are free to leave at any time. You also have the right to seek legal advice if you so desire." you said, to which he solely replied with a nod of his head. "So, mister Afton, for how long have you been working in business?" "For as long as I can remember. My business partner mister Emily and I have opened a diner a few years ago. It was quite successful I have to say, but we had to shut down eventually due to an incident. Before that I worked for smaller companies back in my hometown." everything he said checked out according to the file you received about him. You noted it down in your notebook. "Tell me something about your family." you added another prompt into the conversation. He let out a sad chuckle before speaking: "I am a father of three, however I've lost my youngest son in an incident I have previously mentioned and my only daughter went missing. It has been a few years, but we haven't heard anything about her since. I live with my oldest son Michael who has distanced himself from me. It's been this way since he's played a part in the accident which took away my son, but I learned to forgive him." liar. he thought to himself. "It is dreadful for me to watch how all the other parents are going through the same pain I have been through before." he kept his act up. You, as a person who is never oblivious to anything, felt the urge to believe this poor, grieving man he pretended to be. "I am so sorry for your loss, mister Afton." "I manage." he replied, as in an attempt to lighten up the mood. You flashed him an empathetic smile and carried on. "Where were you on May 17th at roughly 12:00 am to 6:00am?" "If I remember correctly, miss (l/n), I was at home most likely reading or working on blueprints. I have medically diagnosed insomnia, so I have significant trouble sleeping." "Is there anyone who could possibly confirm your statement?" you questioned. "Yes. My son, Michael, who was at home with me during that time." he replied. "You can also check the surveillance footage. There is one right at the main entrance where you can possibly see me leaving after work." he motioned upwards as if pointing to the cameras." "We have already done that mister Afton, I fear that all the footage has been wiped clean." after you informed him about that he gave you a slightly shocked expression.  "I see."  "You've mentioned earlier that you and your son Michael are not on the best terms-" "With all due respect, miss (l/n), I feel like that is personal information, which I am not very comfortable elaborating on." he cut you off. Curious one aren't you. he thought, You'll have to work a little harder to get more out of me. "I understand, my apologies." you said, slightly startled. He leaned forward, his hands clasped on his desk, "Anything else you've wanted to ask?"  "No mister Afton, that will be all. Anything else you would like to add or clarify about your answers?" you asked him. "No, miss (l/n). That's all." he said while giving you a smile.

You switched off the device and made a note about it existing. After that, you placed everything back in your bag and you turned back to him, ready to let him go, when suddenly he pulled out a business card out of his pocket and passed it over to you. You looked at it and then back at him with a puzzled expression on your face.

"In case you'll have some further questions or need my help with the investigation." he replied with a smug smile on his face. You took the card from him and place it in your bag along with your other items. "Thank you for cooperating with me, mister Afton." you stood up and held your hand out for him to shake. "The pleasure is all mine, agent." he replied as he shook your hand, his big and rough one enveloping your way smaller one.

You both exited the room and parted ways. As you were about to let your boss know about the interview, you ran into Caris.

"So, how did that go?" she asked you. "Fu- Caris you scared me where did you come from?" you said with a chuckle. "Sorryyy." she said with a giggle. "You're a lucky one, (y/n). That one is so hot to be honest"

You looked at her horrified but deep down you agreed with her. You found him incredibly attractive as well. Only now, you noticed how fast your heart was beating and how you were a tiny bit disappointed your questioning was over and you'll possibly never see him again.

"What the fuck, Caris." "You'd make a cute couple, just saying..." she teased. "Girl, I don't date potential serial killers." "He isn't one though. Well, doesn't seem like one." "I don't know, Caris. I don't want to but I'm starting to believe everything he told me. I'll pass it over to the boss later, I'll need a view from a different perspective on this." "Okay, well good luck with that, (y/n)" "Thanks... See you around!" you called out to her.

After concluding your work for the day, you finally got to head home. The whole drive home you only had William on your mind. It wasn't like you had a crush on that man or anything, you just thought he was an interesting one. When you got home, you unpacked your bag and pulled out the card he gave you earlier, that you completely forgot about. It was pretty tempting to dial his number, but you decided against it. You didn't truly have a reason to call him you just wish you could have a conversation with him. And maybe, just maybe you wanted to listen to his voice again. You sighed and set the card aside and plopped down onto your couch. You turned on the TV in hopes it would distract you and force you to think about something else.

[adobe-outdesign]

Little something for everyone while y’all are in quarantine. Part 2 coming whenever.

Transcript under the cut:

Five Nights at Freddy’s. Where do we even start with this one? FNAF is probably one of the most confusing games out there when it comes to trying to figure out what the hell happened in it. Everyone has their own opinions and interpretations, so I figured I’d provide my own.

Do keep in mind that I’m not going to cover every single part of the lore, as some of it’s fairly self-explanatory. Instead, I’m going to focus mostly on FNAF 4, as that’s where this Gordian Knot of confusion really stems from.

Be warned, this video’s going to contain something truly scary: OPINIONS. [scream effect] Yes, my views on the lore are much different than everyone else’s, so don’t get your springlocks set off just because my theories don’t align with yours. Because for starters…

[Why I don’t think Michael is the brother]

[Mob noises]

Okay, okay, hear me out. Basically, there are two main family in FNAF: There’s the Aftons, comprised of William, Elizabeth and Michael. Then there’s the - is this really their name? Really? okay - Emilys, comprised of Henry and Charlie.

However, in the books Charlie had a brother named Sammy. So the question is, is Sammy canon? And the answer is yes: During Stage 01, we see one of the kids disappear when left alone with Spring Bonnie, which parallels Sammy slash Charlie’s kidnapping in Fredbear’s by William.

This raises another question though: Who is Sammy in canon, then? And I’ll jut outright say it: He’s the Bitten Child. Yeah, I’m kind of amazed more people don’t realize this. The Fredbear Plush is implied to be possessed by Charlie, as its talk about putting the Bitten Child back together parallels the Puppet giving cake in Happiest Day, and the empty girl’s room indicates that the Bitten Child has a dead sister - her being the Plush explains why the Fredbear Plush cares so much about the welfare of this random kid.

Likewise, Charlie and Sammy were twins. The Bitten Child and Charlie have the same blocky sprites, and they both have brown hair and brown eyes.

Most importantly, the Bitten Child is spirited to look exactly like the Puppet. Given that he isn’t the one possessing it, the only way this makes sense if the two were related.

Finally, the Bitten Child freaks the hell out when approached by an employee in a Fredbear suit, and the Fredbear plush says that he’ll “know what happens if he catches you”. Many people believe this means the Bitten Child witnessed the children being murdered, but it’s too early in the timeline for that - Phone Guy says in 2 that the Freddy’s where the murders occurred was shut down and left to rot afterward. The restaurant in 4 is still open, meaning the murders haven’t occurred yet - given some other context, it’s likely they died in 1985.

The only other incident the Bitten Child could be reacting to… would be the kidnapping back in Fredbear’s, where William stole one of the twins while in a Spring Bonnie suit. And the only way he would know about it is if he was there during the kidnapping - which is enough for me to say with confidence that the Bitten Child is indeed Sammy.

Also, Sister Location has a lot of kidnapping references. [I kidnapped you.]

Especially in the Immortal and the Restless. Vlad represents William throughout the games - not dong much in FNAF 1, working the night shift in 2, being in the burning building in 3, and the hidden scene representing Baby not killing Michael who she thinks is William. And what is said every episode?

[The baby isn’t mine]

The baby isn’t his because Sammy literally isn’t William’s child; he’s Henry’s.

However, if the Bitten Child is Sammy, then that means this [Older Brother footage] cannot be Michael.

Now, I know all of you smart people out there are already thinking the obvious: The books are an AU. Couldn’t Sammy be the one kidnapped in canon, thus allowing Michael to still be the Brother? And to that I say: …Yeah. If you want to work with Michael being the Brother, then this is the best way to do it, and it’s entirely possible this is the correct answer. …But with that said, I’m not entirely convinced.

[Why Charlie was kidnapped and not Sammy]

For starters, there’s the simple question of motivation. Why would WIlliam be raising Henry’s kid? Killing kids is kind of his M.O.. Even in the books, he killed the child he kidnapped. The idea of him kidnapping and raising a kid is even brought up in the Fourth Closet… then dismissed because it would be out of character for him, which would be strange if he did exactly that in canon.

As established earlier, Sammy also remembers the kidnapping, which would make it weird if he was the one kidnapped and yet is just allowed to freely wander the neighborhood. What’s to stop him from telling someone else, or even just running away?

Moving on to actual evidence, the map in SL’s breaker room lists the FNAF 4 house and the minigame house as two separate observation areas. This could be to differentiate the two for the player, but I don’t know why they’d be separated in-universe unless they were two separate houses. This would also explain why the living rooms don’t look the same and why the grandfather clock is in two different locations.

Likewise, the Fredbear Plush has either a camera or a walkie-talkie in it to spy on Sammy. However, the private room also reveals that William has the FNAF 4 gameplay house bugged. He shouldn’t need to use the Fredbear Plush to spy on Sammy, given that he can watch him both through the house cameras and the (presumable) cameras in Fredbear’s - unless Sammy is still in Henry’s house, which would force William to slip a camera into the place discreetly.

Speaking of the minigame house, there are a few parallels between it and Henry’s house in the books. The house was connected to an underground location in the Twisted Ones, just like it’s connected to the Sister Location in canon. And one of the rooms contains a tiny toy animatronic - just like the ones Henry built for Charlie in the Silver Eyes.

Continuing on that train of thought, let’s look at that tiny Toy Mangle. Assuming the Toy Chica principle is in place here - that being that the literal toys in this game look the same as the Toy Animatronics - the Mangle here looks like the FNAF 2 version of Mangle, not like William’s Funtime Foxy, pointing to it being Henry’s creation and not William’s. The SL extras even reveal that Funfox was supposed to be purple at first, which doesn’t make sense if it was supposed to match the tiny toy version.

But perhaps one of the biggest pieces of evidence regarding this toy is in Mangle’s Quest. While walking, you can encounter a huge silhouette of the Puppet… which makes Mangle look toy-sized in comparison. This only makes sense if this room was Charlie’s, and the Mangle toy was hers.

This also makes sense considering that Sister Location didn’t exist at the time of 4′s release. Scott claimed you could solve the lore back then using only the first four games, and if this was Charlie’s room, you could do it by combining the knowledge of the Fredbear Plush with Sammy’s missing sister and Charlie from the novels. If this is Elizabeth’s room, the only way that could be would be if it was retconned into place behind the scenes.

Additionally, I don’t think Elizabeth’s death is the correct date for this room to be empty in 1983. Handunit says that CBEAR didn’t open until after Freddy’s closed, as it gave them the opportunity to move into the entertainment space without competition. I’d assume this also applies to the original Circus Baby’s Pizza World, which indicates Elizabeth didn’t die until after FNAF 1. Given that Michael still has eyes in FNAF 1, SL in general had to have taken place after it - it’s unlikely William waited 10+ years to finally send Michael to save her, so her death being after FNAF 1 makes more sense timeline-wise.

Meanwhile, Charlie died in the very first Freddy’s location, before the other murders. HW confirms the FNAF 4 location was this first Freddy’s, meaning that she died in 1983. This not only lines up with her death date in the Fourth Closet, but also explains why the room in 4 hasn’t been cleaned out; she only died recently.

This would also explain why Henry claims that no-one was there to save Charlie. It’s his restaurant; wouldn’t he have, like, been there and been watching her if he was the one who brought her in?

And finally, I do have one massive piece of evidence that I feel proves the idea that Charlie is the one who was kidnapped.

[Chica School Days opening]

I know, I know, stay with me. Each of Toy Chica’s husbandos in these cutscenes represent one of William’s victims and how he killed them, as proven by her talking about running over a dog which aligns with Susie’s death in both Fruity Maze and the novels. There are a total of six people she targets.

However, that’s the thing - there are six victims, one for each of the original five - and the Puppet. That means Charlie’s death has to be included in here. And yet, none of the deaths line up with what we see in the minigames… unless you assume Charlie was the one kidnapped. In which case, there is one that fits…

[Toy Chica talking about kidnapping]

There are six deaths, so Charlie must be included. If the only thing that lines up with her death is the kidnapping scene, then Charlie must have been the one who was kidnapped, not Sammy.

But that brings us back to the original problem: If Charlie was the one who was kidnapped, Sammy is still living in Henry’s house. Which means Michael is not the Brother.

[Why do people think Michael is the Brother?]

Let’s move on to explaining away some of the evidence for Michael being the Brother.

The first and most obvious piece is that we play as the Brother in FNAF 4. Michael lives in the FNAF 4 house, so he must be the Brother. Which is a fair piece of evidence. However, I do think there’s something that explains this: Midnight Motorist.

Yes, the reason this minigame has perplexed so many fans might be because they’ve been looking at the entirety of FNAF 4 wrong. Let’s start with the Yellow Guy, who’s likely Henry. Why? Well, he’s driving William’s purple car and yet isn’t purple himself, so he can’t be William yet must have a connection to him. Henry and William were friends and business partners, so the idea of this being a company car or one of them just borrowing it for the weekend makes sense.

Likewise, every minigame and cutscene in FNAF 6 pertains to one of the main characters. The Puppet minigame for, well, the Puppet; Fruity Maze for William slash Scraptrap; and Candy Cadet’s stories for Scrap Baby and Molten Freddy. Henry is the only main character who wouldn’t have something in-game pertaining to him unless this sprite is him.

Moving on, we see him interact with a green sprite. I’d wager this is Clay Burke, for no other reason other than the sprite is presumably color-coded because we know the character, and because Clay is a cop and therefore could easily kick Henry out a bar.

Out a bit from Henry’s house, we see a grave, and around the back of the house there’s a smashed window and an animatronic footprint. In the books, the Twisted animatronics specifically targeted Henry’s family, kidnapped people through aggressive means, and buried themselves during the day. Given that the Twisteds are just AU Nightmare animatronics, it’s likely one of William’s robots was trying to kidnap another one of Henry’s kids.

However, the kid being targeted doesn’t seem to be Sammy or Charlie. Henry’s wife is still present and this is a different house than the one in FNAF 4, suggesting this is early on in the timeline, as Henry got a divorce and moved shortly after the kidnapping. The kid that was targeted here was old enough to lock himself in his room and make a run for it, suggesting it wasn’t one of the two babies but rather the Brother from 4, who’s certainly enough of an Angsty Teen to lock himself in his room several times.

As we can see by the footprints and Henry’s blase attitude, it looks like the Brother escaped from the animatronic… this time. It’s likely William kept trying to kidnap him until he succeeded, locking him into his house once he was successfully captured after the Bite. The dialogue from the FNAF 4 trailer might actually apply to William; he brought home the Brother, he think he sees a ghost haunting him which is why he’s observing him in the first place, and he treats this whole thing like a sick game.

So with the FNAF 4 house out of the way, there’s only a few other pieces of evidence. The logbook shows Michael having drawn N. Fredbear… but given that the Nightmare animatronics were still in his house, it’s likely he would have seen then at some point during the night.

The logbook also indicates that Michael is Mike Schmidt from FNAF 1, with his pseudonym being a combo of his own first name and “Eggs Benedict”. FNAF 4 plays like FNAF 1 does, and you can hear one of Phone Guy’s calls in the background, meaning the Brother must have worked in the FNAF 1 location and heard Phone Guy’s messages. And while Michael does fit these requirements… there is one other character who fits them even better.

[Continued in Part 2]

[rangerslayer-97]

Aliens Semi-Review

Well then, I was going to do an Alien Marathon, but I started quite late and the film was a little longer than I originally thought - 2hrs 43mins (163mins). Also, a film directed by James Cameron, not Ridley Scott, surprise surprise for me. However, I know James Cameron's mindset and ambition with films, so I felt the film was in good hands. Since it was my first time watching it, for a film shot in 1986, seven years after the first film (Alien - directed by Ridley Scott); I was not disappointed.

The second film did stay true to most of the original homage to the first film. The tension and the atmosphere screamed original Alien to me. Honestly, it's those scenes, not even the action ones, that had my whole body in a lock and had me holding my breath. The claustrophobic feeling was there, there's always something uncomfortable about narrow hallways or even the thought of descending a flight of narrow staircases to lower levels. In this film, there is this sense of dread of descending to the lower levels.

What I also liked, that did share a similarity was we didn't see the Xenomorphs themselves until a good 90-100 mins into the film. The first scene we see the alien, are the infamous Facehuggers latched onto the face of poor Newt's father. That child no doubt has PTSD, Ripley an obvious one, along with Hickson.

I have to say Cameron handled the action scenes well. I wouldn't say it was a shock that it went from a Sci-fi/Horror to a Sci-fi/Horror/Action. There was a nice balance of action, because you can't always rely on your guns, no matter how armed to the teeth you are. Oh, who's idea was it in the corporation to build a giant colony base that can blow up with the equivalent power of a Nuclear Bomb!? Oh yeah! Multi-billion dollar corporations. On one funny part for this sequel, I was happy the shithead cat was left behind this time, at least he was safe.

I did kind of like the team of Marines. Their banter is humorous in some way, even though they have unknowingly signed their death warrants; i.e.: three-quarters of the team slaughtered faster than I can type a paragraph of my scientific literature review. There's no denying though, facing one Xenomorph unarmed is terrifying, never mind a full nest, even if armed. I don't how Cameron and the team managed that, cause the Xenomorph in the previous film was a guy in a huge suit, and probably sweating in it. Speaking of the Xenomorphs, stealthy little feckers for their size of 8ft, even though the Facehuggers are faster. Let me just admire and marvel at the sight of the Xenomorph Queen which see at the last 20mins of the film.

Giving thumbs to the creative team, the artists and the engineers, they created the largest and most complex animatronic of its time, for 1986. That's what some of the newer films seem to lack nowadays: the art of practical effects. The Xenomorph Queen is an anamatronic sight to behold, while still being manually controlled for the more finer movements such as the legs, tail, lips and secondary mandible by puppeteers. She was an ambitious piece of art and pushing technology to its limit in a way. However, the whole Xenomorph Queen required 14-16 operaters for smooth, complete control.

When the Queen was in action chasing after Ripley and Newt, the movements were so smooth that it is hard to believe it's an anamatronic. It was a time of no CGI and no green screens. The one scene though I did find kind of funny, yet appreciating the intelligence of the Xenomorph species is when the Queen figured out to take the elevator. All I could think was, quoting Jurassic Park: "You clever girl". Yet even the Xenomorphs themselves were smart, attack the survivors from above and below. While it's nice to know Xenomorphs can be killed, there is dangers in numbers and they can outsmart you.

The cast themselves were likable, though it took me a bit of time to like some of the Marines. While the Lieutenant was useless throughout most of the movie and to add salt to the wound, was unconscious for most of it, Gorman did make it up by sacrificing himself, along with Vasquez. What's there to say about Sigourney Weaver? And yes, imagine my surprise that she worked with James Cameron again for his most expensive and CGI-advanced film Avatar in 2009. She did a brilliant reprisal in the second sequel. Thumbs up to Reiser for doing a fine job portraying the asshole Burke. Never trust corporate officials, who care about their multimillion dollar spacecrafts, stations and colony bases. Oh, insane enough wanting a Xenomorph smuggled past Quarantine to study and turn into a bioweapon? I guess that's where 'never trust corporates' trend originated from. Anyways, he got his comeuppance for his arrogance. I liked the acting from Carrie Henn who portrayed Rebecca Jorden/Newt. She worked well with Weaver, being a young child back in '86. Of course, we see another side to Ripley, being given a rare second chance to be a mother again after learning her daughter: Amanda Ripley passed away (she's a different story, since we only see her in the game Alien Isolation (2014), looking for Ripley and set 15 years after Alien; i.e.: her mother is still floating around in hypersleep. Though it was good to know her daughter wasn't sitting on her ass on Earth after Ripley failed to return in time for her 11th birthday). Lance Henrikson also done a fine job playing the Android Bishop, and being one that didn't turn hostile, because I was expecting him to.

Can we also talk about the most memorable and badass scene of the whole film? Ellen Ripley suited up in the Mech Loader versus the Xenomorph Queen. That is a pretty good scene, loved the choreography of it, the brawl was good and then we still have our classic 'shove the fucking alien out the fucking airlock'. I loved that scene and Weaver's moment of badassery.

I also want to praise James Horner (1978-2015) for composing the score. Wonderful piece of work and staying true to the Alien theme from the first film. Also, the opening score reminded me of another track I listen to that sounded familiar. RIP James Horner.

All in all, Aliens was a sequel done right and had a good few elements of the original film. I have to say, for a film of its time, there are very few space films that have me holding my breath. 1986 Aliens did that, as well 1979 Alien (and yes, the airvent scene made me jump, even though I was ready for it. I wasn't). Knowing Cameron's track record and filmography, he did a damn good job on its sequel. We just don't seem to get movies like this nowadays, which is a shame or they are becoming rare and rarer as each year passes. Sure there might be miniscule issues hidden in the film, but to me, this film is worth a 9/10 in my opinion. One of the few Sci-fi films that made me feel I didn't waste my time, never mind 120mins of it.

Whelp, onto Alien 3.

[write-stuff-for-life-blog]

Review: Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

NOTE: I actually saw this movie in theaters but since it’s DVD release was yesterday I figured I’d post my review of it here. I might ramble on for several paragraphs in these reviews, especially if I feel strongly about something, so I’ll try and make it a point to post a short rating at the top as well as a more in depth one at the end.

NOTE THE SECOND: I don’t usually care about spoilers in these reviews so read at your own risk.

1 out of 5 stars. Only watch on Netflix if you exhaust all your other options.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is written by Colin Trevorrow (previous writer and director of the last entry in the franchise) and Derek Connolly and was directed by J.A. Bayona. Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard reprise their roles as Owen Grady and Claire Dearing respectively and are sent back to Isla Nublar by Jon Hammond’s previously never mentioned before former partner billionaire Ben Lockwood played by a James Cromwell who can barely bother to keep his eyes open throughout the movie. I, in fact, share that same sentiment.

Usually in these reviews I try to touch on all the aspects of said medium: visuals, camera work, writing, directing, acting, etc. But this review is going to focus mainly on the writing and acting because both are so atrocious all the other aspects are inconsequential. 

I didn’t think the first Jurassic World (JW) was as great as it needed to be for a soft reboot / revival of such a beloved franchise but it did have several memorable moments. The leads were charming enough to make you forget that they lacked meaningful character arcs (Claire does have one but the movie doesn’t care about it that much) and the action in the second half of the film was pretty cool (specifically T-Rex and Raptor and Giant Alligator Thing vs. the Indominus Rex). So for the second go around I was hoping that the filmmakers would take the time to really get it right and do the franchise justice. My hopes were far too high.

The only two performances that were worth anything in Fallen Kingdom (FK) were the two returning leads, Pratt and Howard. Howard is a decent enough actress but I’ve never seen a performance from her that I really love and FK continues that trend. Claire does undergo a change from shrewd, cold businesswoman to animal rights activist and that does give some depth to her character but it happens off screen during the three years between JW and FK. It was a little jarring at first but I swallowed it better when the film took a minute to explain her motivations. Pratt was as Pratt as ever as Owen is exactly the same through this movie as he was when we first met him in JW. I fear there’s a real risk for Pratt here as it seems as though he’s becoming another Will Smith or Tom Cruise. He is varying degrees of his usual charming and charismatic self in whatever project he appears in. Owen is just Pratt but outdoorsy to the extreme. Star-Lord is just Pratt with his ego turned up to eleven. Andy from Parks and Rec is just Pratt as a dumb man-child. And I guess that’s fine. Plenty of stars have made careers doing the same but actors actually stretching themselves and challenging themselves to become someone else will always be more impressive.

One thing that annoys me about modern blockbusters are their tendencies to inject new secondary characters into each following installment while completely ignoring the B cast from the previous entry. In the original Jurassic trilogy it did make some sense to do that as each sequel followed the branching lives of Ian Malcolm and Allen Grant who, we can presume, never encounter one another again after the first film. But here there’s little justification for it. JW’s comic relief characters Lowery and Vivian, played by capable comedy actors Jake Johnson and Lauren Lapkus respectively, are nowhere to be seen in this movie. Instead we have Franklin Webb, a spazzy tech guy played by Justice Smith, and Zia Rodriguez, a ball busting veterinarian played by Daniella Pineda. I don’t have much to say about Pineda, she was decent enough and served her purpose, but Smith … Oh my God. I believe this guy will go down in history as the absolute worst character in any Jurassic movie ever. Yes, he is even worse than every child character in all of the movies combined. He does nothing for the movie other than to scream in a high pitched voice when something scares him. Everything scares him. It’s always played for laughs but the joke falls flat on its face every time. The movie thinks it’s funny for a grown man to shriek in terror and scream out loud the thing that’s scaring him. “Lava!” “T-Rex!” “Social interaction!” All right, I made up that last one but the character is so cliché he might as well have said it. And what’s more there is no reason for this character to be here. The movie wastes a fine opportunity to bring back JW’s Lowery who was also a tech guy. In fact it even makes sense for him to run with Claire in her animal rights activism as he was a huge fanboy for Jurassic Park. He had toy dinosaurs all over his work station, he loves them! And it makes even more sense for him to return to Isla Nublar because he was familiar with the park’s computer systems. Why isn’t he joining Claire? He was courageous and had some genuinely funny interactions with Vivian. He certainly would have been better than Spazzy McScreamy.

Speaking of trends let’s talk about the obligatory child character. Isabella Sermon makes her big screen debut as Maisie Lockwood, Ben Lockwood’s granddaughter. Of all the new additions to the franchise she’s the standout as her performance has a depth and range most child actors would struggle to convey. Now one thing about the Jurassic movies is that their child characters were usually pretty capable in some way or another. Hammond’s granddaughter in JP reboots the computer system. Malcolm’s daughter in Lost World is able to gymnastic a raptor to death (yeah it’s a dumb scene but she saves her dad). The teenager in JP3 survives Isla Sorna alone for eight weeks. And the brothers in JW are able to fix a derelict jeep and rescue themselves. FK started out following this trend of capable children with Maisie … until it abandons the idea so we can have a “monster creeping through a child’s bedroom” scene. This completely undermined her whole character. Up until then the movie had established her as smart and independent and capable as hell. She snuck into the secret lab, spied and hid from the bad guys, busted out of her room which she’d been locked in, and climbed atop buildings all secretly by herself without help from a single grown up. But the minute the new hybrid dinosaur goes after her, which she had seen several times before then, she immediately forgets how capable she is and hides under her bed sheets. This might be the most heinous example of bad writing in this whole movie. Mixed messages? Okay, fine. Forgettable action sequences? Whatever, that’s most of Hollywood anyway. But please, for the love of God, have consistent characters!

Now the villains. Ugh.

BD Wong returns as the dastardly Dr. Henry Wu, the mastermind genius behind the dinosaur cloning process, the I-Rex, and FK’s new hybrid the Indoraptor.  It would seem that in the three years since JW InGen and its parent company Masrani Global have cut Wu loose as he’s now partnered with a new financier Eli Mills played by Rafe Spall, the CEO / director / executor of Ben Lockwood’s … estate? Company? Trust fund? I don’t remember the movie specifying what Mills’ job was, only that he was another white collar villain (because we haven’t seen that before in a Jurassic movie). Toby Jones makes an appearance as Mr. Eversol, an auctioneer for the high rolling criminal underworld, and Ted Levine plays Ken Wheatley, the leader of a disposable mercenary force who has an odd fetish for collecting dinosaur teeth. And that is literally all there is to the villains. Each of them is cartoonishly shallow to the point that Wheatley is a parody of an archetype and all Dr. Wu needs is a mustache to twirl. True, the villains have never been that big of a deal in the Jurassic movies as the dinosaurs have always been the main attractions but not even Vincent D’Onofrio’s Hoskins from JW was this bad and in a movie full of weakly written characters he was the weakest link.

And let’s not forget the dinosaurs. They are there. Not as much as you’d like but they’re around. The big draw for Owen this time around is to save Blue, the only surviving raptor from the pack he raised and trained, from Isla Nublar’s impending volcanic eruption. FK plays this up as though Blue was always the equivalent of a loyal attack dog but it conveniently forgets that JW established her as a dog capable and willing to bite the hand that fed her. The scene from the previous movie in which Owen is in the raptor enclosure is a tense moment because he is under threat from all the raptors, Blue included. In fact when the I-Rex persuades them to go after the humans all the raptors focus in on Owen. There was that one moment when Owen pulls off Blue’s head camera at the end of JW but to rewrite the relationship as though she were a loyal golden retriever, I feel like that was not earned in the slightest. And the main attraction this time is the new hybrid, the Indoraptor, essentially a smaller version of the previous movie’s I-Rex. FK presents this abomination of genetic manipulation as an ultimate monster but it really just looks like rejected concept art of the I-Rex. Also the Indoraptor is only in half of the movie. The I-Rex in JW was a better monster because it was terrorizing the island for almost the whole runtime. Plus the I-Rex has some decent build up and a good reveal. Here, it feels like the movie couldn’t be bothered. “By the way, we made another hybrid dino. Here it is.” I did enjoy the return of more practical animatronics over every dino being CGI but if you saw the last film this one doesn’t have anything special for you in that regard.

Let’s talk about Trevorrow’s writing. It’s awful. Like a pile of hot rancid garbage awful. The biggest problem with JW is that it completely ignores the moral of the original. JP was a cautionary tale that proves whenever man tries to exert his will over nature he will lose and just because we can do something it doesn’t mean we should. It’s classic man vs. nature ending with man being humbled. JW said, “Hey look, we’re going to keep doing that ethically questionable thing most people believe we shouldn’t be doing and wield the power of a god with no regards to any possible consequences,” and gets upset when the monster it created wreaks havoc. But does FK finally learn that lesson and try to take the franchise somewhere new that doesn’t lead the characters into being idiots who keep going back to the island? Do Michael Bay’s Transformers movies understand subtlety?

More than ever this movie has dumb characters making dumb decisions that nobody with a brain can follow. The villains want to capture the dinos and auction them off to billionaire criminals because these crime lords want them for pharmaceutical reasons (but why though?), the ability to hunt one like a big game hunter (because we also haven’t seen that before), or for weaponization. Let’s touch on that last point. The villains justify it by saying animals have been used in combat scenarios for centuries when armies rode to battle on horses and elephants. And the movie might have had a point if either one of those transportation methods hadn’t become outdated before the fifties.

Now just for the sake of argument I’ll list off a few more examples for this movie’s case: K-9 units, bomb detecting dolphins, and pidgins have all historically been used by one military or another at various times. But here’s the common thread among all those examples: none of those animals are predisposed to ripping a man’s head off in a single bite. Why do you think it isn’t common practice for a military to use lions and tigers and bears? And let’s take a closer look at the proliferation of working dogs and horses. Could it be that thousands if not millions of years of closely co-existing with humans have made them predisposed towards not killing us on sight? What’s that called? Oh yeah. Domestication!

Whether we’re talking about fiction or not, training an animal that never co-existed with humans so it can become an attack animal is not a good idea any way you slice it. Any semi-intelligent person can recognize that there are way too many variables to take into account. Oh but what about Blue, I hear you asking. Owen proved that raptors can be trained with Blue. That may be true but one successful instance against a multitude of failures does not prove the concept. Sure the Polish Supply Brigade around WWII kept a bear named Wojtek that would carry their supplies for them but you don’t see cargo bears being implemented throughout the world’s militaries these days. Do you know why? Because they’re freaking bears! They could go in for a playful swipe and nick your carotid by accident you MORONS!

And that leads me to this movie’s message. Apparently FK believes these animals have as much right to life as any other endangered species. That’s the whole reason Claire wants to go back so she can save them. But the film is bookended with Jeff Goldblum reprising his role as Ian Malcolm speaking before a congressional committee on how much that is a bad idea. He argues that nature selected the dinos for extinction millions of years ago and bringing them back was a mistake. The volcano erupting and eradicating the clone dinos on Isla Nublar, he says, is nature’s way of correcting that mistake. So the film opens and closes arguing why protecting these creatures from a second extinction is the worst. And yet we spend most of the runtime doing exactly that.

Seriously?

Malcolm has always been the ultimate voice of reason in these movies and we as an audience are inclined to agree with him given the proof each movie provides for his argument. There are four previous films illustrating why bringing the Earth’s most dangerous predators back to life is a horrible idea. And now that nature wants to correct the mistake you’re going to defy that decision?

The film uses Maisie here to make this case. The dinos are technically clones and we learn that Maisie is a clone as well so now we’re using clone rights to justify saving the dinosaurs. It is a weak argument thrown in at the last moment. Arguing for conservation is good and all but how well are you going to side with that argument when the T-Rex is meandering through a neighborhood gobbling up pedestrians left and right? These animals have lived on an island their entire lives. Aside from T-Rex who visited San Diego in the 90s they have never seen a town. The only human made structures they are familiar with were the derelict park buildings that the movie shows them waltzing through all the time. Even our own real world wild animals don’t understand that they should stay away from human settlements, how well do you think Blue is going to do the first time she’s caught in the headlights? But apparently they have a right to live because they are just as alive as Maisie the clone is so let’s end the movie by releasing all these dangerous animals, most of which are as large as a rhino or elephant, into the American countryside.

Sure, forget about public safety. Forget that dinosaurs had their chance but nature selected them for extinction over sixty million years ago. Forget about all the indigenous plant and wildlife that is now under threat because you just loosed at least eleven different dinos onto the world. Forget about how their nesting habits might destroy the landscape like nutria in Louisiana. What was your motivation again? Conservation? Give me a break.

Honestly this movie makes me glad Trevorrow was fired from Star Wars Episode Nine. This proves that he has no clue what decent writing looks like and has no regard for what the original was trying to say. Just because he was given the opportunity to make these films doesn’t mean he should have.

 1 star out of 5

A forgettable and messy film that slowly meanders through the second and third act with no sense of purpose other than to say, “Ooooh look. It’s a dinosaur!” And it doesn’t even say that well.

[brokehorrorfan]

Interview: Tony Gardner (Cult of Chucky, Hocus Pocus)

Tony Gardner is the animatronic effects supervisor who brought Chucky to life in the new Cult of Chucky, as well as in previous entries Seed of Chucky and Curse of Chucky. We discuss his history with the killer doll and the latest installment in the franchise. He also reminisces about some of his past projects, including Hocus Pocus and The Return of the Living Dead.

Can you begin with a brief history of how you got involved in the Child's Play franchise?

I came on board in a roundabout way in the beginning. [Producer] David Kirschner was pitching Bride of Chucky to Universal and wanted to do a display to have on the conference table when he did the presentation. It was classic Chucky holding Tiffany in his arms, like a groom carrying a bride through the threshold at a wedding. That's how I met Chucky for the first time. We built that display, and then they went off and got the movie going, and I thought that was the end of it.

Then about three months before they were going to head off to Romania to shoot Seed of Chucky, I got a few cryptic phone calls asking about animatronic babies. That eventually segued into conversations, "Would you be interested in working on the next Child's Play?" I said yes, even though they told me there are three animatronic characters that had to be finished in three months time and we'd be filming in another country. I thought it sounded like a blast, so I signed up - and here I am!

From your perspective, how does Cult of Chucky different from the previous entries?

I think all of the films are different in their own way. I think they're almost all successful as standalone films. I feel like Don [Mancini, writer] introduces new characters each time to the Charles Lee Ray storyline, but you don't necessarily have to know the entire history in order to follow the story. This one is different aesthetically. Storywise, I think it actually succeeds in combining the scary stuff along with the more serious things and the comedic side. That goes for the actors too. There's a more comedic side to Jennifer Tilly's character, and Fiona Dourif's character is very serious, so the fact that Don was able to put of them in the same room to have a conversation with serious impact and gravity to it but still have Jennifer able to play the humorous sex kitten part at the same time, the mashup of all that is what makes this one really different. And he's done it successfully, which makes it that much more enjoyable.

I couldn't have said it better myself. I really enjoyed how it brought together all of the storylines and characters from throughout the franchise while expanding the mythology.

Don doesn't discount anything in any of the stories. He goes out of his way to reference all of them, sometimes in little ways. I think that's really cool. He's really the glue that holds the entire series together and makes it work, because he understands the characters so well. They live in his head; he knows how they talk and why they say what they say. If anyone is going to mix those worlds up and make it work, it's going to be Don. Hats of to him for having the guts to dive in and give it a shot in the first place!

How has the advancement of technology changed how Chucky is brought to life?

It's helped us a lot, because we've been able to use digital technology to erase the puppeteers from shots, especially in this last one, so that we can get closer to the puppet and do a better a performance with his physical moment. When we did Seed, all the characters are 100% animatronic and we operated through the floor. Almost all the puppeteers were underneath the set watching monitors in order to make it happen. We were pushing for some rod puppet work for some of the scenes, and we did one or two in that film, but people were still of the mind that you had to frame things certain ways. It felt very limiting.

Then when we did Curse of Chucky, we had some scenes on practical floors where we couldn't get under the floor. We could be right on top of the character in order to put more life into them and then be digitally removed. And then with Cult, we had three of them operating at the same time. We have limited resources as far as animatronic puppeteers, so to be able to shoot each one separately and then combine things made life so much easier. It's still complicated and hard, but to not have to frame based on where somebody is operating a puppet makes a huge difference in how you can film it. It impacts the performance as well. The advent of digital technology has really been our friend, because it's an awesome tool for us to be able to take advantage of.

Don Mancini is primarily known for being a writer, but you've worked on all three films that he's directed. How would you describe him on set?

He never loses his cool. I don't get it! [laughs] He's amazing on set. He's very calm and very focused. He's able to roll with the punches. He's able to actually articulate what he wants, how he wants to do it, and, if anybody asks, he can explain why. He's a really solid leader, and he has a really solid grasp of his subject matter. He's super articulate in being able to tell all of us what he wants. Most importantly, he's really calm and he stays very focused. He's a really smart guy.

Your daughter, Kyra Elise Gardner, made a short documentary focusing on the familial aspects of the Child's Play movies, which is included on the Cult of Chucky Blu-ray. I really enjoyed it and wanted to know if there's any plan to turn it into a full-length documentary.

That's Kyra's goal, to do a feature documentary. She goes to Florida State University, and she was evacuated for the hurricane recently. We had two events go down with Chucky projects. Jennifer Tilly came to the opening of Halloween Horror Nights, and she agreed to sit down with Kyra for about an hour an hour half. She did a super in-depth interview with her. And then Kyra saw Fiona the following night for a Cult of Chucky panel at Monsterpalooza, and Fiona stuck around for about an hour and talked more about herself and her experiences, as opposed to the family dynamics that's more the subject of the short documentary. I think Kyra is working on it as we speak. She's getting stuff that a lot of people have never been able to get. More power to her!

Do you have a favorite effect that you've created, or one that stands out as being a particular point of pride?

Honestly, I think the half-corpse from Return of the Living Dead is a favorite, because I was in my early 20s and I didn't know what I was doing. I had never done animatronics, and I had this really cool opportunity. I built like 80% of it myself; I had some friends help out with mechanics in the hands. It was a learn-as-you-go type of experience. I had an amazing design by William Stout to base it off of, and then I only had like two weeks to build it at night, becuase I had a real job during the day. It holds this warm spot in my heart. There's nostalgia, but it's also sort of a stepping-up-and-showing-what-you're-made-of moment. I love the character too and how successfully we were able to bring her to life. I had never had the experience of going to set and puppeteering an animatronic character before. I really enjoyed it. Oddly enough, it's Don Mancini's favorite creature from a movie, so I think it did me well! [laughs]

I’d say so! As someone who worked on the original, how do you feel about the recent news that Disney is planning to reboot Hocus Pocus with a new cast?

It's been conversations that have been ongoing for seven years, honestly. I feel like there's a meeting once a year for it. The fact that they've finally announced something publicly means that they're serious. There have been so many scripts over the years, the question is: which direction are they going to go? I know the fans all want to see the three witches, and it's amazing how many girls want to see Billy Butcherson come back. I don't know where it's going to go. I'm super excited for it. It also makes me a little a nervous, because the whole idea of a sequel living up to an original is always daunting. Don Mancini has pulled it off, but not too many people have. The world is definitely a different place than when the first Hocus Pocus came out [in 1993], so if you're going to put it in contemporary times, I'm curious as to how much adjusting of the content is going to need to take place and how that's going to impact the characters. I'm excited, but I'm nervous!

In addition to the ones we've discussed, you've worked with several other iconic films and characters, like Aliens, Army of Darkness, and The Blob. Are there any other big franchises that you'd like to tackle?

I feel like we got to do a lot of really cool ones already. Darkman is a personal favorite as well. We've been able to do some cool animatronic ones and some cool prosthetic ones. On a selfish note, I think it would be really fun to have the opportunity to be involved in a lot of the genre films. We almost worked on a Friday the 13th reboot at one point. It was exciting to take over Chucky and keep him going, so I thought it would be interesting. There's quite a few other horror icons out there that it would be a blast to bring back to life. But I feel I've been really fortunate at this point.

As a kid, I wanted to remake Planet of the Apes, but it's been done a million times and now it's a computer. If I had to pick a film to redo just for pure selfishness: The Day the Earth Stood. The robot in that, Gort, was a favorite. That whole film was a favorite, but that robot in particular always fascinated me. You can kind of see a bit of it in one of the Daft Punk promos. It was one of Thomas Bangalter's favorite films as well, so we felt justified doing a little homage.

You've dabbled in directing short content, but have you ever wanted to make your own feature?

To be honest, I don't know if I have the attention span and the focus to do a feature. I really enjoy doing music videos and short films. If I had nothing else that I needed to focus on, I would love to take on a genre feature. To do something along the lines of the original The Thing - something that offers you opportunity to really stretch your imagination - would be exciting enough to me. If I could drop everything else to do it, I would be happy to.