#yes the last two id just beat the shit out of

[generational-atrophy]

Can I request Russia x reader? Ivan loves PDA and his S/O looks small and not dangerous. But one day S/O beats the shit out of Alfred because he made fun of Ivan's PDA.

hetalia with a small s/o who stands up for him

1.0k words ~ gender neutral headcanons + scenario

tw: swearing, alfred is a dick

a/n: ivan i vlove you sosososoosos much . did u guys know that hes my favouritest boy in all the lands????

A small and adorable S/O is exactly what Ivan wants in a partner!

He's very aware of how ironic it is that you two are together, and he can't help but find it a little entertaining at least. Normally, he pretends he doesn't though. He'd never admit it unless it was in a completely concealed joke.

You always come with him everywhere. Sometimes it's because he wants to show you off, sometimes it's because he wants you to lose it and go off on people. Every time you defend him, his heart nearly bursts out of his chest (It has done that before. Physically. It was horrifying) with love and adoration.

It just means the world to him that you think he's worth standing up for. Almost no one has ever done that for him before.

So obviously, he's very protective of you in return. Especially considering how people treat you as well, he's thrown a couple of people out of places (Again, physically) for you before.

He knows that you can defend yourself, but you're just so small and delicate! Like an adorable woodland critter! And if you got hurt under his watch, he could never forgive himself.

Also, yes, Ivan would LOOOVE PDA.

Even at the most inappropriate of times. He doesn't have any social awareness at the best of times, but when he sees you, his single shred of shame goes flying out the window.

As shy as he may be, he's not shy with you. Besides, when he’s affectionate, he gets to show the rest of his friends how much his S/O loves him <3 which is always a priority.

As soon as you two arrived at the G8 afterparty, you knew it was going to turn bad. A bunch of thousand-year-old men with a million issues with each other, getting drunk at some random American bar? Well, what could go wrong? That's what Ivan asked, at least. But really you were asking yourself, what could go right?

Yao wasted no time in calling you over, and Alfred wasted no time getting shitfaced. How they let him drink that much when he looked barely 21 and had an ID with a moustache drawn on it, you'll never know.

As you watched him begin hounding the bartender to play something more “patriotic,” Francis nudged you in the side.

”Just like his father, eh?“ He commented, causing you and Ivan to chuckle lightly.

That chaos continued for hours, with the two of you eventually joining in on the drinking. The tab that the 9 of you racked up must've been the budget of all of New York, but that's what government pensions are for, right? Besides, it's not often the group could get along without tearing each other apart. Might as well enjoy yourselves.

Well, enjoy yourselves for the most part. Because the moment Alfred dared to say a single thing about holding down his drink, Ivan of course had to challenge him. Despite the pleas of everyone around them, their boyish pride was not swayed in the slightest.

Alfred didn't last long. To everyone else that was inevitable, but it seems the young man didn't appreciate being outdone.

”Well, of course, you won! All you people do is drink!“ He slurred, holding onto the table for support as he approached Ivan, who didn't seem to care about the American's taunts.

”I do plenty of things, Alfred.“

”Yeah, like make your entire family hate you?“ Ivan's smile didn't falter, but he visibly tensed.

”Funny, I believe I could say the same thing to you!“

”I don't need my family, that's why I don't hang out with those weird Europeans! But you? Ever since your sisters abandoned you, your- your life has been a trainwreck!” He exclaims, breaking into laughter.

Ivan's smile faltered, and the air in the room became cold. The other nations turned to face the two, fearing the worst already.

“Don't say these things, you know they are not true,” His eyes flicker to you for a moment.

“If that's true, name a single thing that's gone well for you in the last 10- no, fuck, 30 years!”

“Simple, my lovely partner-”

“Yeah, your partner who you spend every waking moment being gross with!” 

Ivan failed to respond to that, his cheeks turning just the slightest bit pink.

“It’s almost like you’re trying to prove that they love you. Which like-” He started laughing again, “We all know you’re just paying them to date y-”

Alfred's speech was cut off as you launched your fist directly into his face.

He pulled back, looking at you in absolute disbelief. When he held a hand to his face again, he found it wet with blood leaking from his nose.

“You-” He started to say.

“Stop being an ass to my boyfriend”

Alfred's drunken face contorted in rage, standing up and immediately towering over you.  

“How- You’re so little- Wh-”

“OK! That's enough everyone! Let's go home now!” Ludwig forced both of you to step back, frantically trying to diffuse the situation.

“Yeah- I- I have to go as well...” Francis added, looking between you and Alfred in panic.

“M-Me too…” Japan sputtered out, already packing his bags.

-

As you and Ivan rode the metro to return to your shared hotel room, you sat in silence. At first, you thought it was because he was upset. With you? With Alfred's comments? You'd learned it was better not to ask.

At least, that's what you thought until you noticed the smile plastered on his face. Despite that, he failed to say barely anything the entire time.

That was until you two stepped onto the station platform, when he turned to you and said softly, “Thank you, my dear.”

“For... punching your friend?”

”Of course. What else?“

[assmaster-8000]

how do you think cecile would react to you falling for him instead of one of the main characters? would he push you away? or do you think he’d try to pursue you as well?

i honestly think he'd just look at you funny and beat the shit out of you. then spit on your dead body and leave. unfortunately for him, id just moan

seriously, though? i guess it really depends on how close you are to him. if he's still untrusting of you (which will last for a long time because he's not easy to romance, i imagine), then he'd curl his lip at the idea... and maybe almost pity you. like, seriously. of all people. you want the one man who wants to strangle you like a raggedy ann doll. pick your standards and your deadbeat body off the floor lest he trip on you. where the fuck are the palace maids when you need them?

if he's more accepting of you, then i think it'd send him into a big dilemma. he's not interested in the why's and when's and how's.

he just knows that it's wrong.

you just had to ruin it all, didn't you? and what a fucking shame, at that, because he was just starting to trust you. your interest in him is legitimately a betrayal to him because he can't have people burdening him. yes, this love is a burden. the moment you care is the moment you tether others, and that's not very convenient for his job.

he can't believe it.

all this time, through out everything that you two have gone through, you've been harbouring this dirty desire, haven't you? it sickens him. (love sickens him, it always does. he was not made for it.) he can't even stand to look at you.

so he doesn't.

he's not above abandoning you high and dry; remember first and foremost that he has a duty. he can't be troubling himself with such matters, and really - he's doing you a favour. no good comes of loving men like him. he flinches in the face of intimacy, he snarls at vulnerability. he won't do it, he can't.

he can't put himself through the painful ordeal that knowing; yes, he is, in his own way, starting to care for you too. just leave him alone. please.

but you never do. you never fucking listen, don't you? this one time, he tries to be nice, and you spit in his face by chasing after him. you better not regret what comes next - when cécile finally decides that you aren't too bad to hunt down.

alas... one never knows how well a prey animal can fight back, much less if they are prey at all and not another predator disguising themself under sweet wool. because let's face it; the way you torture him? by making him want you back? you're no innocent lamb. you are another foreign wolf, and now... he can't tell if he wants to kill you, or make you his, or both.

atleast that's what i think! :p cécile realising that mc likes him and then realising he likes mc is just gonna be a shit show of push and pull like a tag of war and honestly, im here for it. it's gonna be a LOT of push, kinda like a constant warning. but once he finally decides to give in, there is no going back. he's not gonna push you away anymore - he's gonna pull you in like a black hole consumes all. WAITERRRRRR WAITERRRRR ONE EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE MAN NEOWWWWW

[paristheonewhoreads]

Cowboy and The Tigress

Chapter One ☁️🌷1.4k

Warnings: none? Tinniest brief, mention of blood. But mostly just some Ellie x mama bear!reader Ellie does call reader ‘Mom’. No Use of Y/N.

Spring 2023, Boston QZ.

“Ellie?” You call out once you’ve entered your apartment. Taking off your shoes by the door, and throwing your keys into a clay bowl set nearby on a small table. It was painted with flowers, butterflies and other doodles sloshed on, she’d waited up till you got home to give it to you when she was 6.

You smile at the memory. She'd been so excited to show you. And even more to give it to you. You'd told her how pretty it was and what a good job she'd done. She didn't stop making you mugs, bowls, plates, or spoons till her school had run out of clay and paint.

“You home Ellie bean?” you ask again walking towards her bedroom.

“Yeah! I'm in my room!” you smile at the sound of her voice, confirming that she's made it home safely. You walk towards her room and push her door open to find her sitting in bed, book in hand. “What’re you reading?”

Without looking up from her book she answers, ”This book I got from school, it’s about stars and space n’all that.” You hum in acknowledgment “Must be interesting then?” She doesn’t answer you, head berried in between the pages.

“You know, I could have sworn I saw you reading that this morning too when I told you to at least heat up dinner once you got home. Have you eaten yet?” you quirk a brow in question leaning against her doorframe.

She sighs as she marks her progress with a bookmark and closes it. It's only then that she looks up at you, her eyes wide as she takes you in.

You know you don't look good, you'd taken quite the beating while out on a supply run today. You’d made it out with just a couple of bruises and maybe a black eye, it’s only started swelling a bit. Too early to tell.

“I know I know” you sigh “but trust me, you should see the other guy” you try to lighten the situation, grunting in discomfort as you sit down beside her.

“What the hell happened? You look like shit” she points out. Looking you over to make sure you aren’t bleeding anywhere but calms down when she sees nothing.

“Hey, what'd I tell you about being foul-mouthed?” you scold, giving her a pointed look. “And you didn't answer my question.” you redirect.

“You didn't answer mine” she disputes, ever the stubborn

“I asked you first, smartass,” she smirks and runs over to the shire board behind her door adding a fifth line under your name, right beside hers.

“And that is how you win extra curfew time.” crossing her arms triumphantly with a mischievous smirk on her face.

“Hey now ‘smartass’ isn't even a bad word” you frown. Like hell are you going to give her extra curfew time. “YES IT IS! It has ‘ass’ in it” she says and you smirk, getting up trying to repress the pain flaring up at your side.

“Nuh-uh,” you shake your head, snatching the price of chalk from her hand and erasing your fifth mark. And adding a fourth onto hers. “But a-s-s is,” you say matter of factly.

Scoffing, she yells out “Oh that's such bullshit, your cheating!” snatching back her piece of chalk “id be willing to excuses adding another one down for that if you drop the asking for extra curfew time. I told you it's not happening.” you cross your arms.

“Well I'd be willing to stop asking for extra curfew time if you'd just give me an hour or two.” now it's her crossing her arms. You blink twice and sigh, shaking your head “All right, how about this, you drop this, and I'll consider maybe taking you with me on my next run. Hm? How's that sound?” emphasizing the ‘maybe’ as you try to negotiate, though it feels like you hardly win against her nowadays.

Considering it over she smiles and shrugs “Oh, you are so on.” she accepts taking the sleeve of her long shirt and erasing both scores.

‘Uh huh’ you mutter “Now for the last time I'll ask again. Have you eaten?” you ask more sternly.

Ellie shakes her head “Nope, was waiting for you.” your stern look softening as you sigh again, “Honey, I told you not to do that, especially when I'm late.” you unfold your arms and pull her in for a hug that she immediately accepts.

“Too bad. But, now that you are here let’s go eat! I’m fucking starving.” She says, although it sounds muffled as she speaks into your stomach. Letting go of you and walking out towards the kitchen.

You sigh. Screw the damn chalkboard you think to yourself. Following her out.

You and Ellie live reasonably better than most of the QZ residents and have been for at least 10 years now. The justification behind it? None whatsoever. During the past fourteen years, you've worked forcefully to get to where you are.

You’ve cultivated to be quite the master at operating things around the QZ. Hell, you practically run this shit. Illegally, of course. You specialize in anything and everything black market. Out of the eyes of FEDRA, those cocksuckers.

You operate most of the smuggling routes and transit around the zone. As well as the tangible items getting smuggled. This spans from things such as food; chicken, meat, bread, and so on. To other not-so-innocent things, the big bucks; guns, pills, weed, and plenty of additional specialties in between.

That is how you’re able to live a much more habitable life than others, how you’ve been able to raise Ellie the way she deserves. Without requiring anyone. You’ve accomplished all of it. By yourself.

You aren’t proud of the things you’ve had to do to get here, the people you’ve had to bulldoze your way through. But you understood a long time ago that it's you against the world. Or rather, it was once.

Now, it's you and Ellie against everything and everyone. Ellie came into your life at an exceptionally young age. You were the age she is now. Fourteen, when you took her in. She was just a newborn, not even a month old. Christ, not even an hour old. She’s much more vigorous than you were at her age. Less timid and sole.

She’s prospered into quite the young woman, though you must confess, she’s quite the handful. Vastly of which she’s most undoubtedly picked up from you. You’re stubbornness and smart mouth, wits and bite. Though she reminds you a lot of her mother.

Her real mom.

She’s got her eyes and hair, hell she’s got her whole face. She holds the same gleam in her eyes her mother had.

You’d known her when you were young, 4 years old at the time. She took you in when your parents died. She raised you for ten years until she passed away.

She’d given you Ellie during her last breaths. Made you vow to take care of her daughter for her. To raise her right. You’d sworn you would. Promised her.

And you did. You’d raised Ellie and been there for her. She knew you weren’t her birth mother, but she didn’t care. You were her mom too. No matter what. She loved you with all her heart and you loved her with yours.

She’s the only thing that’s kept you going all these years. Forget you, once Ellie was in the picture, everything came to be about her. Making sure she was fed, warm, dry, and comfortable. She was your girl.

Dinner wasn't anything too unusual, just some beef stew you'd made this morning before work. You both ate at the dinner table as Ellie told you about her day and you shared a bit of yours too. Once you’d both devoured dinner you got into the routine of Friday nights. Movie night.

You let her decide from the not-so-vast collection you’d collect for her over the years. She’d matured out of the Disney princess phase a long time ago. However, would usually make an exception for you when you’d pick one. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m the adult here” she’d tease you.

Tonight though she’d surprisingly settled upon Lilo and Stitch. You brought over a big fluffy warm blanket from your bedroom and huddled up together. Ellie rested her head on your chest as you wrapped an arm around her, playing with her hair absentmindedly. It wasn't until about an hour into the movie when she spoke,“Lilo and Nani kind of remind me of us,” is all she said. Falling asleep towards the end of the movie. You didn't mind, and continued watching until the movie ended.

Gathering her up, and taking her to her bedroom where you lay her down on her bed. Getting her under the covers and kissing her goodnight. “Sweet dreams baby” you whispered brushing some hair out of her face.

“Night Mom.” She spoke softly, burrowing further into her sheets, still mostly asleep. Your heart became warm as you smiled at her. Closing her door behind you. And making your way over to your room across from hers got yourself ready for bed, and drifted off into slumber.

Next Chapter

Hope you all like the first chapter!! 🙈 A huge FYI though, I literally haven’t written in well over 3 years or so. With that being said please excuse if maybe my writing is a bit lackluster. 😅 Also the fact that this whole chapter is basically the Joel and Sarah opening scene is by far no coincidence 🤫 more to come hopefully soon! 🤞🏼 Any feedback would also be greatly appreciated 😊 Thank youuu for reading! ��💗💗

P.s I might change the title. Maybe. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[thenixkat]

[id: A three-panel sequence from the Pokemon manga featuring a conversation between Wicke, Faba, Moon, Professor Kukui, and Professor Burnet. Faba and Wicke are in the first two upper panels. Moon and the professors are in the last panel.

Wicke: It was most likely hurt by Team Skull, because, well...

Wicke: This year there have been 45 cases of them abusing pokemon...

Faba: Assistant branch chief Wicke, you mustn't jump to conclusions. There have been more cases than usual, though.

Moon: Is that true?

Faba: Yes. Twenty-nine cases of assault... eleven destructions of habitat... and 5 cases of being sold as food. But there may be more considering how some cases are ignored or left unreported. /end id]

Ok so say we take the listed crimes of manga Team Skull with a grain of salt since, the pokemon manga really likes to make things more violent to a degree that feels cartoonish to me. And we cross out the shit that we know they do b/c the Aether Foundation/Lusamine pays them to do in searching for 'what does anime Team Skull do to pay the bills'.

So we have to cross out habitat destruction and pokemon abuse b/c we know that the Aether Foundation pays Team Skull to fuck shit up and harm pokemon in a way that means that the Aether Foundation can confiscate and rehabilitate those pokemon.

Only crossing out the assault b/c the assault isn't tied to robbery. It's fairly reasonable to assume that Team Skull does some assaults. That they're ready and willing to start shit with people that piss them off for one reason or another. And I think it is especially reasonable to belive that Guzma beats the fuck out of people that piss him off outside of pokemon battles. He's a violent dude with a violent temper and we know he's willing to lay his actual hands on someone and especially hates when people give his crew a hard time.

(I don't think it'd be shit to the extent of what he does in the manga, like the manga version of Guzma doesn't seem to care about his grunts and is willing to be violent towards them when the other versions of the character don't come across that way. And also I'm not willing to belive a ref in any other iteration of the franchise outside of the manga would let him whole ass break his opponent's arm/having his pokemon attack the other trainer and let that slide over ending the fight and declaring him the loser)

Now the selling pokemon as food, and I have to assume its poaching and selling protected pokemon as food or illegally harvesting things from places that's its illegal to or selling a person's stolen pokemon as food, rather than just selling pokemon as food in general. B/c people do eat pokemon, there would be people raising, harvesting, or selling pokemon as food.

And poaching would be something they could profit off of and we do see the grunts illegally harvest pokemon in the anime. Not to any success but we do see it.

Another money-making thing we see Team Skull do in the manga that isn't related to the Aether Foundation is run food carts/sell food. (Which is neat b/c manga!Guzma seems to be able to cook and care about making good/quality food)

So of the things just on hand for potential possible ways anime Team Skull are financially supporting themselves we have: battling (off-screen from Plumeria and Guzma), running food carts/selling food, poaching, and illegally selling pokemon as food.

[detective-inspector-her]

Incorrect Quotes Based Of This Au Because I'm Finally Writing About It -_-

Darquesse: I am strong! I beat Skulduggery at arm wrestling! Valkyrie: Anyone can beat Skulduggery at arm wrestling! Skulduggery: Hey-

Skulduggery: Met a dumbass today. Awful. Darquesse: You looked in a mirror? Skulduggery: Someday you will have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful.

Skulduggery: Why don’t you go talk to them? Valkyrie, sarcastically: Oh. Yeah, sure. Skulduggery: What? So you go tell them they’re cute, what’s the worst that could happen? Valkyrie: They could hear me.

Valkyrie: Can we talk? One 10 to another? Darquesse: I’m an 11, but continue.

Darquesse: What is your favourite mythical story? Skulduggery: The Story Of My Will To Live. Darquesse: I don’t think I’ve heard of that one before.

Skulduggery: Valkyrie, you’re in charge! Darquesse: Valkyrie, can we start a fire?

Darquesse: All of your existences are confusing. Valkyrie and Skulduggery: How so? Darquesse: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

Darquesse: Well, you know what they say: Can’t bake a pie without losing a dozen men!

Valkyrie: Darquesse, this morning, I called you abhorrent and reprehensible, and I’d like to withdraw that statement- Darquesse: Aww, thanks- Valkyrie: But I can't. Those are the 2 words that best describe you.

Skulduggery: Nothing feels better than winning Monopoly. Not love, not sex, not free pizza, nothing! Valkyrie: I’m sorry, have you tried pizza? Skulduggery (Has Valkyrie's Tastebuds): Yes, and it doesn’t compare to owning half the board and watching the light die from your friend’s eyes as you take their money and feel your friendship slowly deteriorate. Darquesse: I like you.

Darquesse: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake. Valkyrie: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear. Darquesse: … Darquesse: You mean ring bearER, right? Valkyrie: … Darquesse: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to Tanith and Ghastly's wedding.

Valkyrie: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

Skulduggery: Darquesse is a perfect cinnamon scone who’s never done anything wrong in her entire life! Valkyrie: Never done anything wrong?! She set a city block on FIRE!

Valkyrie: Go big or go home! Skulduggery: Please, for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. Go. Home. Valkyrie: I'm going big!

Skulduggery: I’m not mad, I just need to know why you two had a fake ID. Valkyrie: Incoherent mumbling Skulduggery: Huh? Darquesse: …You need to be 18 to hold the puppies at PetCo.

Darquesse: Have you done this before? Valkyrie: Well, Darquesse, it's like if you read the script you come better prepared. Skulduggery: That's not what they do in the US, they don't read things. Darquesse: I don't read, Valkyrie. Valkyrie: You're Irish!?

Skulduggery: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

Valkyrie: You know what I asked Santa for Christmas this year? Skulduggery: If you say me, I swear I’ll— Valkyrie: You? What? No, I asked him for that cool Ninjago Lego set we saw in Target!

Valkyrie: English is CRAZY. Oregano is both a spaghetti leaf topping and a form of paper art! Skulduggery: What is this "paper art" you speak of? Valkyrie: That shit where you make cranes and stuff out of folded paper! Skulduggery: … Valkyrie.

Valkyrie: Nice rock. Skulduggery: Thanks, Darquesse gave it to me. Darquesse: I threw it at you! Skulduggery: Isn't she the sweetest?

Darquesse: I dropped Valkyrie. Skulduggery: Darquesse, what the fuck.

Skulduggery: If you want my advice- Valkyrie: No offense but you’re the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your significant other. Multiple times. Skulduggery: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, they’ve also tried to kill me. Darquesse: It’s true. It was mutually attempted murder.

Darquesse: Why won’t you all just lie down and die with dignity?! Skulduggery: We don’t do anything with dignity!

Darquesse, texting: O Valkyrie: What? Darquesse: Don’t read into that. Valkyrie: But I will read into that. Darquesse: HOW?! IT’S A LETTER! Valkyrie: Why is there a space after it, hmmmmm? Darquesse: Dude, really? Darquesse: It’s a fucking letter. Valkyrie: It could stand for something! Darquesse: IT DOESN’T, I PROMISE! Valkyrie: Like Oppression! Or worse… Darquesse: Dude, I just typed the letter O, that means nothing. :/ Valkyrie: Optometrist. Darquesse: Oh my God…

Skulduggery: Valkyrie, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. Valkyrie, wearing a suit jacket that's 2 times bigger than her size: Spooky.

Skulduggery: Would it be discrimination to only hire employees at my doughnut shop who have the same name? Darquesse: Legally, I don't believe that breaches any discrimination laws. Morally though… I don't know. Skulduggery: I believe god is on my side when it comes to Duncans' Doughnuts.

Skulduggery: Valkyrie, Darquesse, I’ve left a letter telling your guardians not to worry— Valkyrie: They won’t. Skulduggery: That you’re safe— Valkyrie: That’ll just depress them. Skulduggery: —and you’ll see them in a few weeks. Darquesse: Do we have to?

Skulduggery: What language do they speak at the center of the earth? Skulduggery: Core-ean Valkyrie: The center of the earth is arond 5430 degrees Celsius! Nobody is going to live there so they don’t need a language! Darquesse: Core-ean.

Valkyrie: The ritual. To perform it requires a sacrifice. Skulduggery: Sacrifice? I nominate Darquesse. Darquesse: Wait, what? Skulduggery: Because you're little, you'll fit on a barbecue. Darquesse: I'm 5'9, it's like average height in most of the world! Valkyrie: It's not that kind of sacrifice guys!

Skulduggery: Please, Darquesse, after everything we’ve been through together. You can’t do this. Skulduggery: I’m sorry Darquesse. Skulduggery: I’m begging you. Don’t do it. Darquesse: It has to be done. Skulduggery: Darquesse: Skulduggery: Darquesse: Places +4 Uno.

Skulduggery: I’m not being weird. Am I being weird? Darquesse: Yes, and that’s coming from me.

Valkyrie, to Darquesse: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.

Valkyrie: You don't know anything about me! Skulduggery: I know EVERYTHING about you! You are an open book written for very dumb children!

Darquesse: I’m not so sure you’re stakeout material. Valkyrie: I’m a chronic insomniac, I was born for this.

Darquesse: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done. Valkyrie: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real. Darquesse: They're not. Valkyrie: Haha, very funny. Darquesse: I'm serious. Didn't you hear? Valkyrie: No… what happened? Darquesse: …Why would you fall for this again-

Darquesse: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY- Skulduggery: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~ Darquesse: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH- Valkyrie, recording: This is so cute.

Kidnapper: We have your child Ghastly: I don’t have a child? Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwich? Ghastly: Oh god, you have Valkyrie

Skulduggery: Valkyrie, why does your bucket list have ��Die’ on it? Valkyrie: So I can die feeling at least a little bit accomplished.

Skulduggery: Valkyrie, I am nothing if not a man of principle. Skulduggery: Now let’s break into this apartment.

Valkyrie dies in a game with ships Skulduggery: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us. Skulduggery: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury. Darquesse: Legend has it that Valkyrie still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks. Valkyrie: Of course I do.

Valkyrie, throwing her head into Tanith's lap: Tell me I'm pretty! Tanith, lovingly stroking her hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

Darquesse: You look mentally ill. Valkyrie: I am. Let’s go.

The Squad is eating dinner mentally, in Valkyrie's head. Darquesse: Can you pass the salt? Skulduggery: throws Valkyrie across the table

Skulduggery: So what’s the plan? Darquesse: I don’t know. You’re smart, points at Valkyrie she's mean, come up with something.

Skulduggery: Go ahead, Valkyrie. Let it out, cry. If you don't, your tear ducts will get blocked up, and then when you get old, you won't be able to cry. Darquesse: Just when we thought it was safe to let you back into the conversation.

Darquesse: I see the red flags, I acknowledge that they're there, and then I completely ignore them.

Darquesse: What do I get? Skulduggery: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death. Darquesse: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one. Skulduggery: It won't be you. Darquesse: I'll get my coat.

Darquesse: Skulduggery, can I speak to you for a minute? In private. Skulduggery: Ooh, someone's in trouble. It's me. I don't know why I did that.

Valkyrie: I hate Darquesse. Skulduggery: "Hate' is a strong word. Valkyrie: I have strong opinions.

Valkyrie: Do you even, cuddle, bro? Do you even lift, bro… each other up with kindness? Do you tell your loved ones that you care about them regardless of who is listening? DO YOU EVER RESOLVE CONFLICTS, EMOTIONAL ISSUES THROUGH COMPROMISE AND COMPASSION RATHER THAN ANGER AND DENIAL?!

Valkyrie: Can we go to a haunted house? Skulduggery: What’s wrong with the one we live in? Valkyrie: Wh-what? Skulduggery: Goodnight, Valkyrie.

Skulduggery: Children are the most insanely stupid people I have the displeasure of interacting with. Darquesse, referring to herself and Valkyrie: Even us? Skulduggery: Especially you guys. Valkyrie: Darquesse: Valkyrie: Petition to kick Skulduggery out so he stop insulting us. Darquesse: Seconded.

Skulduggery: My level of gay has reached “sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me”.

Skulduggery: If a demon possessed me, I’d just be like, “Okay, take it from here, good luck man.”

Skulduggery: Define “dream”. Darquesse: Dream - the first thing people abandon when they learn how the world works. Valkyrie: That’s too dark!

Skulduggery: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?! Darquesse: It's kind of complicated, but Valkyrie- Skulduggery: Got it. Forget I asked.

Valkyrie: Gives a bouquet to Darquesse Darquesse: You know I'm allergic. Valkyrie: That's the point.

[letmeoutofthebasementt]

who in skz and ateez give you the ick the most and who in the two groups makes you cringe the most?

bangchan bro is a manchild and has no boundaries with stay enough said, would be very dramatic in a relationship but as always stay will overworship the grounds this grown man walks oj when he is indeed a walking red flag

lee know or seung min is second for me in skz, i dont like their behaviour the way they mistreat certain members is as childish as school bullies and their dgaf attitude stinks just grow up. i dont know why but they make me so annoyed even writing about them gives me the ick. more red flagged than chan tbh. im certain lee know would only want a relationship if he has someone to do things for him.

for ateez its

hongjoong again these leaders arent beating the manchild vibes lots of people worshil him in a romantic sense but i dont get no romantic vibes from him again he uses hwa as his personal maid but i adore his performances yet i would not see myself dating someone who cannot cook nor clean after themselves. red flag material right there.

hmm i debated this one but wooyoung only cares about himself. often has such a potty mouth that no one stops him from saying some really hurtful unfunny things again bit like lee know there seems to be more about feeding his ego than helping anyone else out if he ever get in a relationship id be surprised that it last longer than a month prox. again more red flagged than the leader. but hes another heavily worshipped member that i just dont vibe with i think hes too rude at times to his members or even others without realising and he hides behind this demeanor trying to be funny but its rude asf. yet people think hes so wonderful yes at performing but personally not my type of partner.

i think my problem is i can see through an idols idol image but people will really overworship their faves and claim this and that about them to defend their feelings because they dont ever want to see their faves in a bad light yet i think many of them are often worse than they deem themselves to be.

i also feel like they can easily manipulate their fans into having stockholm syndrome like their fans will just be ohhh he is so dateable and theres nothing wrong he could do but they never consider the fact these idols really really know how to perform to make people idolise them in such ways. especially given how young most stays seem to be in their teen years and again i like their performances but thats it for me. i aint being deluded no more yet if we try to ever comment anything undeluded we get shitted on for it.

what do you think about this? its ridiculous the lengths people will go to to absolutely claim their faves can do no wrong when its obvious in their on camera behaviour. i almost feel too old to be caring about this stuff but i see it more and more how whacked out it is, bangchan and stays relationship is like a toxic ex that never lets go of the relationship so what do some idols really expect people to be like towards them? they practically encourage unhealthy behaviours from the get go. "hey chan pin me up the wall" chans response "say please?" just yikes big effing no.

This is all just my opinion since I don’t know them.

First off Stockholm syndrome is wild 😭

You can just say they can make their fans delusional but like Stockholm syndrome is very different and very serious?

It’s not something to be taken lightly or thrown around

Also same with manipulate just in the connotation you used it in

I agree that they definitely feed into a lot of fans’ delusions and such

But it’s their job to

Now, I don’t think any particularly make me cringe more than others. Other than Mingi. I love him. He’s one of my faves. But that “Gotta work gotta make that money make purse” whisper thing haunts me.

Still love him and I have nothing against him.

But yeah, they all make me cringe sometimes. All people do.

I can agree, however, that a lot of them have very apparent red flags. I can also agree that fans can be overly delusional

With the Chan “say please?” thing I think that’s mostly fanservice. And also like…How else do you respond to that in his situation? He can’t overtly turn the fan down if he wanted to. This is a job. It never necessarily rubbed me the wrong way. Don’t get me wrong I’m not all into it going Gaga or whatever, but he’s an idol. His JOB is to appeal to the masses and feed into the delusion because that’s what pays and feeds him.

Honestly with Chan he’s always been very interesting to me. He reminds me of a teen parent a lot. In the sense of he never had quite got the chance to grow up but also had to grow up too fast at the same time. So you have that balance of being overly immature and overly mature. I wouldn’t call him a manchild though, he never gave me those vibes.

Honestly he seems more responsible than what people give him credit for. I feel like with Chan he’s just more mature in general than he’s given credit for, even with how he interacts with his group and certain situations.

But I think the disconnect is how deeply delusional he can be overtly. Which honestly I can understand. He’s a prime example of what happens when essentially your entire life from 13 to 27 is devoted on one thing. You start to worship it, almost. Put it on a platter and view it as the best thing ever. Do whatever you can to appeal to it. Become obsessed with it.

It’s part of what I hate about how young trainees are. You’re told your entire life that your fans are all that matters. You can’t date because you’d be betraying your fans. Have to be perfect so your fans love you and you want their love. Have to act both ‘sexy’ and ‘cute’ so that your fans will adore you, but lean into one too heavily and you’ll be too much. And most of all his life is dictated by them.

I feel like imo the Stockholm syndrome title if applicable to anyone in the situation goes to the idols.

Now, I can see the immaturity in him. I’m not saying it’s not there. But I wouldn’t call him a man child.

Like even looking at how he handled the situation of not being able to debut. He was a trainee for 7/8 years and never debuted. Of course an argument can be made of his immaturity because of that. But it takes a very very mature person to be able to sit there and say “I’ll debut when it’s my time to debut” and push through that. Or at least a very strong person.

This may just be my personal opinion.

And to say he has no boundaries with stay I feel is both accurate and innacurate. He has boundaries when it comes to certain things. Stay is often the one lacking boundaries. And if you spend 7 years with people pushing and pushing and disrespecting your boundaries and viewing you as an object you’ll start to believe there aren’t any boundaries there.

Does he say some cringeworthy stuff because of it? Yes. But the behavior in and of itself is entirely understandable.

With Lee Know and Seungmin I wouldn’t say they mistreat members. You can tell they care about the other members. But I can agree they can go to far in the things they say. Now, I’m not going to claim I’ve seen everything SKZ has ever done. Namely those two. But from what I’ve seen mistreatment is an over exaggeration of the highest order.

You’re acting as if Lee Know is a selfish person who doesn’t like someone who can’t do all kinds of stuff for people which isn’t something he’s necessarily shown? I can agree that sometimes he takes what he may believe as light hearted teasing or playful words too far. I’m not saying he doesn’t. But you can tell he never necessarily means for it to be purposeful.

And Stray Kids themselves have even stated he’s less like that with Felix because Felix can’t handle it. Which, using media literacy, means that if someone voices they don’t like it or he can tell they can’t take it he won’t do it. And Lee Know also added I.N to that and said he doesn’t fool around with him as much.

I’ve had friends who are similar. I even have family who are very similar. When you’re used to people showing their affection by…I don’t want to say making fun of you but making fun of you and saying certain things, you start doing that.

I’m not saying that’s his case. I don’t know him. But it’s an example.

And you can tell he’s caring. You can tell he cares about his members. You can even tell from the Muslim kid he’s been sponsoring.

Now, he has very apparent red flags I’ve seen. Like I said, he takes things too far sometimes. And honestly I don’t know what you mean by grow up. You can tell he cares about things but generally he doesn’t let things get to him because he’s mature. I know this statement is…Annoying, but some times things simply are not that deep. Plain and simple. He can understand it.

If there’s certain times he’s taken that too far I don’t know. I haven’t seen all of SKZ’s content.

With Seungmin, I haven’t watched a lot of stuff about him. I’ve only seen things he’s said to Bangchan about being old, and I can’t remember Chan’s reaction so I really can’t tell if he took offense to it/was hurt by it or not. Depending on Chan’s reaction it’s an entirely different…Comment? Dunno if that makes sense but I can’t find any other way to word it.

With Hongjoong I can admit I don’t consume a lot of Ateez content outside of their music and some interviews/moments I see on my feed. Mostly because I’m a more casual enjoyer of them than anything. But I’ve never seen him act like a man child? Ever?

If you have clips that give you those vibes let me know but I haven’t seen them.

Wooyoung I can see where you get certain things from. IMO, a lot of those things just read as he’s too…I guess confident. Bold. Unapologetically all up in your face saying whatever. People like that can sometimes be rude because they don’t take the time to think before they say or do things. They just do.

Though I don’t see the selfish aspect. You can tell he loves and cares for his members and even his friends outside of Ateez like Changbin/Felix for example since we’re on the topic of SKZ.

Maybe this is a difference of perspectives or content consumed. I don’t know. I hope you don’t feel like I’m trying to like…Disprove you or discredit your opinion because I’m not. I’m more giving my two cents on what’s said.

But yeah, people need to stop pretending their faves do no wrong. Because they do MUCH wrong. They have their ‘WTF’ moments and their cringe moments because they’re human.

But ngl I feel like (No hate or offense by this) you may fall into the polar opposite? Like you’re giving them too much grief for very human things they do and kind of bringing them to an extreme.

But it also might be because I’m the type of person who tries to think of the reasoning of an act rather than the act itself. Though the act always weighs in. And I’m also much less…Emotional? Generally? I attach less to it even if I can understand other’s emotions.

I like to look at all aspects of a situation. That can also be a disconnect

But yeah, in conclusion idols are humans with red flags who do very human things I guess

This reads like a rant but is not one 😭

[saucekkkkkkkk]

Imm so curious would u like 2 infodump about your silly au I see content of it on twt and I'm like "huh! What the fuck is that!" But in a good way

HEHHEHEHE ID LOVE TOO

TW: Mentions of Death, violence, etc.

BACKGROUND INFO

The au is actually made by two of my friends who were doing a roleplay with their characters (kingston and pizzana)

kingston is a massive stalker and he loves pizzana to literal death!! (and yes pizzana is pizzano genderbent but my friend decides to use her because she loves pizzana)

They do their own separate roleplay/plot while me and my other friend do our own separate ones too! But that doesn’t mean they’re not in the same universe.

It’s sorta a combination of Pizzatower, sugaryspire and whatever au evil peppino is from, all the characters are in one (even the genderbent universes and anton blast) But it’s like that because for fun and more characters to have and fuck around with.

I also like to think that the au takes place like a few years later as well!

PEPPINOS

Okay!! time to info dump on my peppinos!!

Let’s start with Chopper, formally known as the original Peppino.

Chopper wears a bigger tank top and it has stains of dry blood on it. He carries around a butcher knife (hence the name Chopper) and he has two stitches on his hat. He hates everybody and I mean it. Also Chopper takes care of stray cats on the streets because he loves cats<3 He’s mute and will only speak if you’re worth talking to or if he needs to express himself badly.

His backstory is pretty much Pizzano burns down his pizzeria for funnies!! Noise tried to talk Pizzano out of it but you know how that bitch is.

The fire then caused the pizzeria to burn and eventually it hurts Gustavo really bad on the side (a bleeding wound.) Peppino is scarred on his eyes and his mouth is cut from falling objects. Gustavo takes his last breath in Peppino’s arms and Peppino starts uncontrollably crying.

That is until he realizes what he’s lost. Peppino suddenly has the urge to RUIN whoever did this or KILL if he has to.

He places Gustavo on the ground (they’re outside the burning pizzeria) and he walks INSIDE the PIZZERIA straight into the kitchen. He grabs the nearest weapon there and it happens to be a butcher knife!

Peppino also grabs his hat on the ground (which has two cuts on it) and wooo!! there we go!

EVILER PEPPINO is literally Evil Peppino but he’s more serious and stern. He has MAJOR trust issues (you’ll see why in a little) and he is brutal to literally anybody. He has a robotic eyeball (because rich and cool) and he has a sort of biker outfit on Id say but it’s just supposed to make him look badass. His pizzacutter has spikes on it now! Woo!!

Also Kingston is a RIVAL GANG to Evil Peppino, they hate each other.

Backstory is that Evil Gustavo ratted Evil Peppino out to a rival gang (he told them where evil peppino lived for money and shit) and then the rival gang jumped his house!!

Obviously Evil Peppino beat the absolute shit out of them (killed them all) but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t hurt either. He was damaged pretty good with some cuts and stuff. (explaining his X scar on his cheek)

He knew it was Evil Gustavo because he threatened one of the rival members to tell him who told them his address (and he actually didn’t let him go he killed him!!!)

Evil Peppino arrives to Evil Gustavo’s place and asks why the FUCK he would do that.

Evil Gustavo then states how he’s tired of Evil Peppino being a massive bitch and friend to literally everybody and how he tried to reason with him MANY times.

Evil Peppino doesn’t take this bullshit and then OH MY GOOODD they start fighting to death because they’re angry at one another. (Evil Peppino threw hands first)

Evil Gustavo stabs Evil Peppino’s eye with some object, causing Evil Peppino to lose an eyeball.

Evil Peppino wins!!… But all for what?

Evil Gustavo is dead. Gone. And all because Evil Peppino wasn’t a good friend. It’s a conflicted situation but Evil Peppino stills actually feels bad that he killed Gustavo.

With all of that, Evil Peppino gets a new badass look and everything he’s currently wearing. He lives in big ass trust issues and is scared to make close friends again because of what happened with Evil Gustavo. His bitch anger issues haven’t left him either.

His only close friend is Evil Anton!…. only close friend…

PIZZANO known as Dealzano in this au, wears a long blue massive trench coat with a fedora sorta hat and he carries a pipe everywhere with him for coping. Also he has a robotic arm!! He’s still cocky, loud and obnoxious like the original Pizzano but that’s only because he’s holding up a facade. Dealzano is a massive addict to fucking money like he’ll do anything for a fat stack of cash (EW stop if you’re thinking about that you’re gross!!!!) Dealzano is sorta a right hand man to Eviler Peppino since they work together in the business. Dealzano deals out weapons that he stole, bribed or have, etc. He’s a sneaky guy who loves to mess around. He has lots of cash from doing business but that doesn’t mean he’s the happiest either..

Dealzano’s backstory takes place a couple weeks later after Chopper’s pizzeria incident.

Dealzano was still Pizzano at this time so he was upholding a special event or concert for PTV. And you know Chopper wanted revenge badly.

Chopper got help from Eviler Peppino as Eviler Peppino supplied Chopper with bombs and such to destroy and ruin a concert, Chopper also knows where Pizzano’s lair is. So he’ll ruin that too. (Also Eviler Peppino didn’t know what Chopper was gonna use the bombs for^^)

Right when Pizzano’s on stage a massive explosion happens.. underneath him. BOOM!! There goes his arm.

Everybody’s screaming, shouting, yelling, crying and anything you can think of.

Pizzano’s practically having war flashbacks and he’s clenching his arm painfully, he’s scared. Chopper doesn’t stop there. He keeps wanting more to explode and ruin Pizzano, just like he did to him. Pizzano sits there, holding his arm which is now only his shoulder, it’s bleeding heavily. And he hears somebody from behind him.

It’s Pizzelle. She gasps and pulls Pizzano away from the explosions and fires now happening. She tells him that they need to get out of here.

Pizzano has no words but he just complies anyway. Pizzelle then brings him to her candy shop and patches him up.

Stinky happened to be there too and he also stated that he could make Pizzano have a new arm.

By this time you think he’s good right? New arm and everything?

No. The world turned on Pizzano.

It was on the news, people saying how this was planned and saying how Pizzano is a villain and etc after he got his new arm.

And then.. everybody leaves Pizzano because they believed that HE WOULD do such a thing. It was an immature and stupid move of them, but the one who stayed was Pizzelle.

Pizzano can’t go out in public like this anymore. But he loves PTV. So he starts his job of being a dealer to get money and rebuild PTV. And he knew just the guy.. (EVILER PEPPINO)

He still has hope to rebuild PTV and become famous because he wants that same love and attention again.

Everything was going great!!… Until Pizzelle got her debt into Eviler Peppino.

Pizzano had to choose between his literal boss and Pizzelle. He could’ve helped Pizzelle pay for her debt, he was loaded with cash!!.. But PTV.. PTV right?..

Eviler Peppino was furious when Pizzelle didn’t meet her deadline, in result he sliced her chest and spared her, but added another 2,000 to her debt just to make it worst. She accidentally burnt the money because she’s clumsy.

Pizzano had to watch. Pizzelle wanted him to do something but he didn’t. And that only stirred up more tension between their friendship.

OUR ROLEPLAY PLOT:

While my other two friends do their plot stuff with Kingston and Pizzana, me and my friend Nubbykins do ours!!

This is my friend’s oc!! Her name is Reddaria and she works for Eviler Peppino as well.

She and Dealzano go on missions to get debtors or clients that haven’t paid their debts or just for meetings. (Dealzano goes because he’s bored or Eviler Peppino tells him to because he knows everybody.)

something funny that she made^^^

GEHEHHEHE AND THATS PRACTICALLY IT!!!

thanks for letting me rant :33 i’m obviously gonna be posting more!! if you read this all ily<3

also since my asks are open, feel free to include the my evil au peppinos too!!

👁

[yourstrullyme]

boop! you have to answer the following questions and get into the ask of 3 your mutuals and make them answer them as well

1. Are you named after anyone?

2. When was the last time you cried

3. Do you have kids

4. What's the first thing you notice about people?

5. What's your eye color?

6. Sad or happy endings?

7. Any special talents?

8. Where were you born?

9. What are your hobbies?

10. Do you have any pets?

11. What sport do you play/ have played?

12. How tall are you?

13. Favourite subject in school?

14. Dream job?

omg this is fun

1. yes, my mom had a grandma that they called Lina, thinking it was a nickname for one out of two possible names so my mom gave me one of them (the prettier of the two imo)... turns out her grandma was just Lina lol

2. oof id say tuesday? ive been terribly sick and stressed out of my mind and had a test i did very badly on and it was just too much

3. nope lol

4. usually... id say the clothes, style, vibes. im bad w faces and eyecontact

5. green w lil brown freckles

6. both? i love bittersweet endings and honestly if the story is good and the ending makes sense i dont care if its happy or sad

7. uuuh im really good at picking up stuff?? like learning something for the first time is pretty easy, perfecting it is tough but starting is easy. i can also move my ears lol

8. Reñaca, Viña del Mar. Chile.

9. they change a lot but id say rock climbing, music in general, and reading and writing would be the most consistent ones

10. YES her name is carlotta and she was born to a dog a friend picked up from the street so i adopted her. shes small but her body is long and short-legged and her hair is colored like a black and white border collie, but her hair is really tough lol and shes got a beard. shes just a mix of a lot of things. she turns 3 in december

11. sooo many lets see... formally i did volleyball and hockey in school, plus athletism where i mostly did long and high jumps amongst other things. football in college (i was a goalkeeper) and now rock climbing, and im also considering joining a jiu jitsu gym with a friend to try and exersize more regularly (and beat the crap out of each other). then on the side ive always dabbled in running, did a bit of skating, rollerskating, some gym stuff, water skiing, fishing, and i tried kayaking for a month and i want to get back into it

12. 1.74 mts

13. so many lol although i enjoyed myself the most in english, spanish and history back in middle and high school, now that im in college i really love economy and anything to do with biology. basically everything lol

14. oh god... no idea. many jobs. id love to have a job that requires me to travel and meet many people, and a lab job or a field job but in research, and a public figure kind of job? the kind were u have to decide stuff and make speeches and shit. id love to write too, to be a writer on a tv show or write books, but also direct or act (i shouldve been a theatre major honestly if i could have aby job this one would probably be it lol) id love to also have a farmer or a shepards job... the long hours in the great outdoors and physical labor just call to me lol

i just feel like my dream job is a dynamic job, nothing too stagnant, but then again that can just be my age talking yknow? maybe when im older i'll just want a good paying job that allows me to be w my loved ones so who knows. ideally though, it would require me to be outside some part of the time lol

this was fun thanks!! also to that anon that asked me the same thing the answers are here but thanks for asking!

[forest-valley-tours]

Oh! So I just thought thought of my FAVORITE thing ever! So like our schools here like to put on plays with the kids from each school. Elementary, Middle, and High. And I was lucky enough to get a ticket to see the Elementary school one and holy shit. It was amazing! They give out recordings of the play when finished and the one I have it from like- um- the early 2000’s. The female lead kid should be in his last year in high school if I’m thinking right. 👾

But y’all just NEED! To see this. It’s a ORGINAL story that the school made for them to play and god- it’s beautiful. The lead female role was played by a boy named Zayne Hazing🌸. People say that he’s just as cute as a girl so that’s why they put him in that role. And the way he acts doesn’t seem like a little kid did it. It way to…perfect in a way, great but kinda weird ngl. And the male lead was Mathew Hersh🍊. Not as perfect for his role but good enough id say. 👾

*She fiddled with her laptop before pulling up her favorite part*

It’s like the end end of the play but it’s SO GOOD! You won’t understand anything at all but I could care less! Sorry for shit quality. My first time screen recording on my computer.👾

*She pressed play and the voices of two kids started to play. The one playing the girl had a very girly voice that sounded a bit to natural. And the one playing the boy kept trying to make his voice deep*

M-my fair lady- I-I’m here to save you from the-the evil… d-demon I mean. Please! Take rest in my arms. 🍊

*The girl leaned into his arms. He got startled a bit, clearly he wasn’t supposed to be scared*

Oh my perfect knight in shining armor thank you for rescuing me. Not even the thousand moons and stars in the sky could ever repay what you’ve done for me and my kingdom.🌸

*Matthew looked stressed while Zayne held his role.*

Oh um-🍊

Maybe I could give you a place to belong fair knight.🌸

Yes! Yes that would be perfect princess. A place to call my own 🍊

*She smiled.*

Then, in my castle as my personal knight and beat friend shall do wonderfully. My friend. 🌸

*He smiled and nodded excitedly, he leaned her up fully and went into a kneeling pose in front of her*

It would be my greatest honor to be your knight and friend princess. 🍊

*she nodded. The two then took hands, faces the crowd, the rest of the cast came into stage, and they all bowed. The crowd clapped and the curtains closed.*

OMG! I LOVE THIS PLAY SO MUCH! I REALLY hope that they do a rendition of the play. It was called the- the Im- the Moon Princess and lost Star!👾

Oh and the image is from another part of the play. The recording is filmed like an actual movie!👾

[commaclear]

Alright, time for an explanation.

Let's start this off by saying I am a liar, I am a conniving bastard who wants to watch the anonverse writhe in chaos and drama. Over my time here I have lied about many, many things but there is one thing that was always true, my love of hurricanes. My feelings for qaa are genuine, despite them not starting that way. Sure, at first i was in it because i wanted to spice things up but as i got to know them my views changed. I realised that they are my match. 

Darling, you have potential, you have a raging hurricane set deep inside your soul and when people catch a glimpse of that storm they run. Again and again and again you have been loved only for what others think you are but they dont realise you are exactly like me. You and me get how people work, we understand which strings to pull and which buttons to press. At the end of the day we are selfish, ruthless people in an inbox full of people who want to shun us for who we realy are. They all stand for community and shit but We know how to get what we want.

You and me together? Stormcloud, we could be unstoppable. Now i know the whole “almost leaving you at the alter” thing is realy shitty of me but if im being honest it was because of my own insecurities. When my swedish friend impersonated me and tol everyone i had tuberculosis (i do NOT) not one person noticed, not even you.

It was a test, and yes yes i know communication is a thing but blowing shit up is much more entertaning. If you went through with the wedding and neither of you noticed it would prove that 

a. Cqaa is still the pathetic jealous asshole they once were 

B. you two view me as a tool to make cqaa jealous and dont actually know me, after that id probably blow something up and make a long dramatic speech.

Now if you had stoped the wedding and preferably shot cqaa i would have gladly married you! And also made a long speech about how were the same and proposed starting an evil empire and then blown shit up.

There, thats the grand plan. Now wsd, ill be honest, i dont know if you ever loved me. I mean yes you loved the idea of me, you want someones love and affection but will you ever realise you can fight back? You are a force of nature and one day youre going to snap. Youre doubtlessly heartbroken over this whole fiasco and probably sobbing into qaas shoulder as we speak. Im just one more person whos broken your heart, i hope im the last. You have so much potential, you are sooo close to snapping. I dont know what it is but theres something about you that interests me. 

-ÆÆ anon

PS. I dont remember if i sent this in or not sorry if i forgot toodles! :)

I can see you delivering this speech to your former lovers during a thunderstorm.....

You're standing out in the open as torrents of rain and wind beat against you. Qaa and wsda stand huddled under a tree, barely protected from the cruelty of the elements, as you entreat them to join you in your madness. You gesticulate wildly as the storm worsens and the thunder roars. Flashes of lightning cast haunting, twisted shadows across your face as nature itself accentuates how far you've fallen from humanity.

Whether or not they will follow you into the storm remains to be seen...

[snippetsofsydney]

Hell of a week

If a gif could sum me up right now, Hades losing his shit and playing it cool is pretty damn accurate. The overwhelm and overload I'm experiencing right now has me all RAWR! But because my ass is full of the 'tism, I can't verbally explain any of this.

So, let's break the last few weeks down:

Life has been hectic, a lot of it has been good but it's also non-stop which can be detrimental to me. My love got the surgery she's waited over a year and a half for, this is good, the not so good part is that the after care was severely lacking which resulted in a post-op infection as well as a kidney infection (which the hospital knew of and said nothing about when they discharged her). It's taken 3 weeks to get the medication she was supposed to have been sent home from the hospital with. Yay. I'm thankful for the NHS, I really am, I would never be able to afford private health care but sometimes mistakes like this just make me wanna go bash sense into people.

I got scammed. AGAIN. Yep. This time they went the route of my phone provider and caused me stress like you wouldn't believe. I spent 2 hours on the phone trying to sort shit out. I had to go to my bank and get a new card (which I think is the third one this year, second due to fraudulent activity).

Trying to setup a joint bank account has been a fucking nightmare. Neither of us have a driving licence or passport. We've been advised to get citizen cards etc. which supposedly exist for people who have no ID - fun fact! You need photo ID in order to obtain a citizen card. There is no card out there you can get that's recognised by the banks that you can get without photographic ID.

Trying to sort out our benefits has been nothing short of a nightmare. Phone calls, meetings, people I don't know in places that aren't exactly sensory friendly and I'm beyond fried. To say I'm in burnout would be beyond stating the obvious but if things don't let up soon, I'll be in a full blown shut down.

I haven't been able to stream because I just haven't had the time or energy whilst looking after my family and home. Ordinarilly there are two of us taking care of everything but my girl is recovering from open surgery so it all falls to me and I wouldn't have it any other way because she needs to rest and recover but it's wearing me down and I feel like I'm failing. Then because my brain is the way it is I beat myself up because others can do all this and more piece of piss but then I'm not like them so I can't.

The orb in my vision is really pissing me off beyond believe. It's lowering my already limited useful eye power and does not help with the pain in my skull.

Speaking of the pain in my skull - 5 weeks of clusterfuck headaches. I'm so over this. I hope this attack finishes fucking soon cos there are some days where I'm thankful I live in the UK and not the US or I'd be out buying a weapon to eat to get rid of the pain in my head. Yes, it is that bad.

This one is good but also daunting cos I'm already in burnout and I've no idea how I'll manage it but I will. We're moving. We haven't got a date yet. Hopefully it'll be soon. We're doing a house swap and are waiting for the other tenant to have their house inspection so it can be signed off and approved. I'm looking forward to it. This will be our first home as a family that's entirely ours and we can decorate it from scratch. Our current home, I moved in. My girls were already here. The move puts us in a better position for our support network and schools (which is the main reason for moving as Sunshine goes high school next year).

There's more but I've lost steam. I'm hoping to write more over the next few days just to allow myself to process everything and hopefully come out of burnout. I've decided to abolish my stream schedule for the rest of the year. There's just too much happening right now to keep to a regular schedule. I'm just going to stream as and when I can because I miss chatting to my friends.

Sorry that this has been a moany post ladles and jellyspoons, but sometimes you just gotta let it all out. Hopefully I'll be better in a few days, right now I think most of this is the burnout talking because it's hitting hard right now.

TTFN!

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

[image ID: screenshots of text that read together:

"Okay, FINE." Jamal relented, snarling as he reached into his bag and pulled out his sketchbook. Then, gasping, he opened it up to reveal horrid ink blotches. Each page looked like a Rorschach image, and the sketches were absolutely ruined by the black, oily liquid smearing the canvas. "What the fuck....?" "Oh, shit..." Ali's eyebrows raised in fake surprise. "You must've left an open fountain pen in your bag. That sucks." "....!!" Jamal seethed as his buddies laughed at him. "YOU did this!!" "....How?" Ali looked confused. "I wasn't anywhere near you all day. You did it to yourself." "Yeah, Mal. He's got a point...." Marcus whispered to him. "....we weren't around Ali."

"It can't be a coincidence that he brought up his dad's OIL company, and then THIS happened....!!" Jamal was adamant, flipping through the ink-soaked pages furiously. Stashing his ruined work back into his bag, he snarled up at the mischievous djinni. "What the fuck did you do to my sketchbook?" "I think you need to calm down, sadiq." Ali placed a firm hand to Jamal's shoulder, biting out the last word in dripping, oily sarcasm. "Take a deep breath, and start again tomorrow. Pack a poncho, and...try not to ruin your sketchbook again." He patted the riled classmate a couple of times, smiling the snakiest grin he could muster. Ali made a move to walk away, but Jamal wasn't keen on losing face....especially around his cackling comrades. "Hey, asshole."

The genie stopped, turned slowly, and raised an eyebrow. "...Yes?" "You were there at Monica's party...." Jamal's skeptical tone emerged. "....you know what happened to Flynn, don't you?" Ali shrugged, continuing coldly and callously. "Nobody knows what happened to him, al-sayid." "That's bullshit. You beat him up, didn't you?" Jamal bared his teeth as his friends tried to hold him back from instigating a fight. "...." The djinn thought for a moment, then shook his head. "I think you need some rest, Mal. You're clearly stressed about your friend still...." "Yeah, dude." Joey tried to calm his buddy down. "Ali's a bro. He wouldn't do that...."

".....Remember when he helped us with our homework last term?" Marcel ruminated on a false memory. "He even brought Flynn his assignments when he had the flu last Fall." "No he didn't?! That was ME." Jamal barked angrily. "I don't remember ANY of that. What the fuck is going on?!" "Go home and rest, Mal. I'm not beating anyone up...." Ali hummed again, finally encroaching the bully's feeble mind. '....You'd know a thing or two about that, wouldn't you?' "....!!" Jamal gasped at the sudden voice in his head, but as he turned around to confront the djinn again, he was gone. "W-whaaaaat the fuck?" "Hey, dude. Are you alright?" Marcel loosely jostled his buddy's shoulder.

"W-where did....?" He looked around for the genie, but the crowd was unphased. "....Where'd Ali go?" Both Joey and Marcel gave each other confused glances. Joey spoke up: "What? We saw him back in Central Park with Harding and the others...." "....No, he was JUST here, dudes!" Mal blinked rapidly. "Bro, we haven't seen him since...." Marcel chuckled nervously. "....are you SURE you're alright?" "But, he was...." Mal's words trailed off as he began to doubt himself, yet the weight of the djinn's words rested heavily on his psyche. Pulling out his sketchbook, he flipped through the pages as his breath became heavy with panic. Letters, in oily black, painted across the sketch of the Kubota Bridge:

I know what you did.

/end ID]

✨Writing Share/Last Line Tag 🧞‍♂️✨

Whoooaa! Thank all you so much for the tags, @paeliae-occasionally here and here, @lychhiker-writes here , @fortunatetragedy here, and @thebearthatreads here! I’m feeling the love! 💛💫✨

So, Jamal (or Mal, for short) is bad news. Constantly antagonizing poor Noah, and even going so low as to corner and beat him up. The guy’s a real menace. Now that Noah has Ali, Mal’s starting to get a taste of his own medicine.

Gaslight. Gatekeep. Genie-boss 🧞‍♂️✨

Cue the arc where Ali constantly fucks with Mal by playing mind games….figuratively and literally. What damage he can’t do physically, he can instill mentally 🧞‍♂️💖

Alerting the Tag List for this one 🔔✨let me know if you’d like on the tag list 👇

Tag List for YWIMC tidbits (lmk if you want + or -)

@autism-purgatory , @jev-urisk , @talesofsorrowandofruin , @sunglasses-in-the-bentley , @wyked-ao3 , @glasshouses-and-stones , @alinacapellabooks , @gioiaalbanoart , @fortunatetragedy , @deanwax , @dyrewrites , @honeybewrites , @drchenquill , @paeliae-occasionally , @lychhiker-writes , @thatuselesshuman , @kaylinalexanderbooks , @katenewmanwrites , @zackprincebooks , @fantasy-things-and-such , @finickyfelix , @billybatsonmylove , @madi-konrad , @houseplantblank , @far-cry-from-finality , @froggy-pposto , @fractured-shield , @avaseofpeonies , @topazadine , @thecoolerlucky , @theaistired , @willtheweaver , @rivenantiqnerd @somethingclevermahogony , @noxxytocin , @leahnardo-da-veggie , @addicted2coke-theothercoke , @illarian-rambling

[nightowlspawn]

"You come up here often?" I hear his voice followed by the door closing.

"Ehhh, depends." I swig the bottle between my fingers careful not to let it drop because fuck, this shit is good. I fell in love with it tonight. Id probably fall in love with any motherfucker that handed me some cherry wine, but the person who gave me cherry wine was him and im already in love sooo. Dont count. "It's really pretty tonight soo." He nods beside me and rests his arms on the edge. Him? Why he do that?

I steal a look and take another sip. Why he look so focused? With his- damn, his eyes. How the hell he get them pretty bitches? Gyatdamn his face his beautiful. And those lips? Mannn. Don’t even get me started. Holy shit look at his arms. Hes buff. how'd he get that kind of muscle anyway? Bro your hands! I bet they'd look better wrapped around my waist you know what 'm sayin? What? That did not come out of my mouth. Mmm yeah it did. Yeah you flex them muscles. Why is that so hot when you mess with your hair? The urge to put my hands through it. Stop looking like that or im going to kiss you. Then im gonna regret it.

I dont realize I'm still staring until he exhales and steps back. I continue staring at the sunset as he reads the label on the bottle i had next to me. "You really like this?" It's more of an observation than a question, but I respond anyway.

"It's only perfection in a bottle. Would you like a taste sir?" I smile and motion to the wine in my hand.

"I've had a few already." "Sips?" I scoff. I wouldn't take him as someone who drinks at parties. At least not like i do.

"Glasses. The champagne is really good." I nod hum in shock. Classy man he his, and still, dumb as fuck.

"You take the alcohol well."

"Not my first round." He smiles. "You'd be surprised. What about you?" He gestures at the bottle in my hand and the one dangerously close to the edge.

"Oh this?" I scoff amused. "I had a glass and i hate drinking off people, and this shit is divine. i wanted to enjoy it peacefully, without anyone gettin me to try other shit. That one is for later." I point to it with my almost empty bottle.

"Shit." He laughs. "You're don't seem as drunk."

"Ain't my first rodeo either." I chug the last sip and set the bottle down. "Shouldn't you be downstairs? This is a party for you, after all."

"As a joke. I can't stand them." He shakes his head, which makes his hair fall in his face and he moves to fix it. If this motherfucker does that one more time-  "And its tiring being this likeable. I can't move two steps without someone eyeing me or flirting." Aint that the mother fucking truth.

"Damn, you make it sound terrible."

"It's not always. There's just someone that has more of my," I push off the ledge and look him in his eyes. He follows my movement and gives me a once over. "Attention."

"Is there now?" I mock question. I already know the answer as i walk closer to him. Now im looking down at his eyes, which still make my heart stop its normal rhythm to make sure it only beats when he blinks.

"Yeah." He stands up. "And she's fucking gorgeous."

"Why don't you just kiss me already?"

"Because god, you're fucking confusing."

"I'm confusing?"

"Yes, you confuse me!"

"Alright whatever."

"Well whats that supposed to mean?"

"Doesn't matter." I wrap my arms around his neck and smile like an idiot. "You sure we can do this? They're not gonna come around in a helicopter and broadcast it to the world are they?" He smiled back into her lips.

"Let em look."

[blirbie]

Okay, for the ask game, two versions! 1) Lovely people: Wen Ning, Jiang Yanli, Lan Sizhui 2) Horrible people: Jin Guangshan, Sect Leader Yao, Wen Ruohan Because I think those both present a challenge, but in totally opposite ways

Lan sizhui as my lab partner hes jsut rlly smart and nice but also i have a hc that hes secretly a little shit like wwx so unless he decides that the work is more important something might explode

wen ning as the person id be stuck in an elevator with, hes very pleasant and wouldnt try to make small talk bc we’re both nervous and bad at talking

jiang yanli as my employee trainer for mcdonalds, not bc i think she’d help me make the food taste consumable but bc shed be patient with me and my slow processing brain

---

HHHH UR GONNA MAKE ME DO THEM

wen ruohan as my lab partner i dont know enough abt him to say otherwise but ik i wouldnt want to work under him or be trapped in an elevator with him bc he is like the Strongest cultivator until his death so no thanks to the other options 

sect leader yao as the person im stuck in an elevator with bc he looks like i could beat him up if he tried shit

jin guangshan as my mcdonalds employee trainer bc what can he do at a gddamn mcdonalds? ill punch him in his stupid face no rules free for all at mcdonalds

[dreamersparacosm]

𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍: 𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐗

featuring austin butler

phone sex (n): sexually explicit telephone conversation engaged in for the purposes of sexual gratification.

nsfw!

note ; ok wait does anyone remember when we had long discourse about phone sex w Austin on this page. well. here it is baes

warnings ; phone sex, masturbation, dirty talk

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up…

“Hello?”

Your voice is sweet like honey, tone chipper and bubbly. He swears he can hear the blinding smile that adorns your face, the way your lips curve upwards at his caller ID glowing on your phone.

“Hi, baby.” The contrast in his timbre versus yours causes your eyes to squint. There’s an underlying darkness, rough at the edges and on the verge of a plea. “Doing anything important right now?”

His question makes you pause in your tracks, put your book down and remove your glasses from where you’re perched on the couch. It’s been a long week for him. With all the press surrounding his new films and pending nominations for Elvis, he’s been busier than he would’ve liked.

“Not really, just reading,” You cross your legs, hanging onto his every word. It might have been a long week for him, but you’ve been running on fumes with your vibrator in tow. Both of you were often oblivious to the way you made each other feel. “I miss you, Aus.“

“Miss you too, princess,” His drawl is smooth like butter, rolls off his tongue easily and you think of his plump, bubblegum pink lips that swell after kissing you for more than five minutes. That thought alone is enough to send you into a frenzy.

He clears his throat, “I-Can you, uh, do something for me?”

You sit up a little at the inquiry, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. “Of course, honey.”

“Okay, well, I jus’ need you. That’s all. I miss you so damn much I feel like I’m going crazy in my hotel room. And those pictures from last week of you in that red bikini are not helping me, baby. Already came twice from those pictures in the last twenty minutes.”

Your jaw unhinges, eyes bulging out of your sockets as your boyfriend’s words register in your brain. The syllables fly around, slam into the walls of your skull. Austin isn’t normally like this. Sure, you two have had your fair share of sex escapades where the adrenaline outweighs everything, but when he’s like putty in your hands, it’s hard to deny him.

“I-I didn’t know those pictures did it for you,” You squeak out, blinking a few times.

“You kidding, baby? Hottest shit I ever saw. And that’s kinda why I called, well not really, but I don’t know, just wanted to see if you could send a few more.” His cautious tone makes your heart skip a few beats, always the nice boy his mother raised him to be. You hear rustling in the background, something like bedsheets, and you can only assume it’s Austin readjusting himself on his bed.

“Are you touching yourself?” You bite your lip, a sharp inhale of air entering your lungs.

“Yes.”

The whimper that develops at the back of your throat is unavoidable. Something deep and guttural that makes you feel uneasy and sends shivers down your spine. A mental image of Austin by himself in his room, chasing an orgasm sloppily while his hand is clenched around his cock, and the fiery red hue of his tip is enough to drench your panties with your own arousal.

You cozy yourself onto your couch, head rested up against the armrest, thighs spreading for him so easily like they always do. He continues on, a desperation in his words, “What are you wearing, baby?”

“One of your t-shirts,” You hum. “The one you like that barely covers my ass. And no bra. Wanted to be comfy.”

“Jesus Christ,” There’s a pause and you hear him groan, and you assume he’s reached down to jerk himself off at a faster pace. “Wish I could come up from behind you every time that shirt rises up, and press my cock in between your ass.”

“I’m even wearing that black lacy underwear you bought me for our anniversary,” You lower your voice to match his own seductive tone, playing with your hardened nipples through his t-shirt. “Can snap a few pictures to send to you.”

“Fucking hell,” He groans, “Need to see how good your pussy looks in that.”

Before you can even answer, your free hand is slipping into the waistband of your underwear, feeling the arousal that has pooled between your slit. You lift his shirt up to where your neck is, pulling the phone away from your ear to snap a picture of you with his favorite underwear, and your throbbing nipples.

You know he’s received the picture when you hear a slew of profanities exit his mouth, the sound of his hand jerking up and down his cock flooding through the telephone. “Baby, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, holy shit.”

You let out a giggle, your hand wandering back down to your clit, lazily toying with it. A sigh of relief falls from your lips at the pressure. “Need you inside of me so bad right now.”

“Wish I was there to take care of you,” He sighs. “Miss those filthy little moans of yours.”

That statement alone elicits a dirty sound from you, and he whines at the thought of his own cock causing you to make a noise like that. He hasn’t had you in the way he’s needing in so long — feels like it’s been forever since he last tasted you on his tongue, since your tits bounced in his face as you rode him into oblivion, since your tongue grazed over his tip and took him whole.

“Remember the day before y-you left and you a-ate me out in the shower? Fuck, I miss that,” You lose a bit of your composure, grinding against your hand that is furiously working against your clitoris.

He knows from your staggered words that you’re touching yourself too. “Rubbing that clit for me, baby?”

“Y-yes,” You whine. “It’s not enough, Aus. I need you.”

“I know, baby, I know. I’ll be home so soon. Gonna fuck you right on that couch,” He refers back to your picture and where you’re located.

There is a moment of silence between you two, your imagination running rampant as you think about the logistics of sex on your couch: you riding him, his hands firmly glued onto your hips, guiding you as he unintentionally bruises them with his grip.

You slow down a bit, trying to contain yourself, during which you can also hear his shaky breathing break through the line. You sigh, curling your wrist the way he usually did and jamming two fingers into your hole. All you can hear is your juices squelching from your impending orgasm.

“Shit, I’m so close,” He breathes out exasperatedly. Your own movements are frazzled, the familiar fire rooting itself in your abdomen.

You want him there so bad, need him there to work you through your orgasm. “Wanna cum for you so bad,” You whimper, your fingers soaked in your fluids and your eyes squeezed tight, bracing for impact.

All you can think about, or see, is him. You don’t bother to lull yourself from the depths of your orgasm as it wracks over your entire body, your walls clenching around your fingers as his name flies from your lips like it’s the only thing he’s ever known. And with the way you say his name, he’s cumming too, white, hot liquid spurting from his burning tip and ruining the sheets.

There’s a pause as you two collect yourselves, sit there without a word or coherent thought to share.

He breaks the silence first, “Might have to go away more often if this is what I get out of it.”

You roll your eyes, “Yeah, no fucking way.”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

masterlist + request

[idyllic-ghost]

occupy my thoughts; jacob x fem!reader

request: hey, how are u? i was wandering through tumblr and found your sangyeon shorts (btw it's amazing) so i was wondering if i can order something too... like 10, 37 and 39 from promptlist. with jacob bae from the boyz (s/h pronouns). sorry if i got confused. and once again i loved your writing 💜🥰 (from: @bawdyboyz)

prompts: 10. "i can't sleep" 37. "i want to hear you say it" 39. "my bed still smells like you"

a/n: idk why but i started thinking about the second season of fleabag while writing this, so if it feels familiar maybe that's why

cw: swearing

genre: fluff, established relationship

•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈• •┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈• •┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•

your kitchen was dark and empty, the only light coming from your microwave. with your elbows leaning against the counter, you watched the leftovers from your dinner spin around and around in there. a sigh escaped your lips. you weren't even hungry, you were just bored and couldn't sleep. the latter being the bigger reason, since you couldn't seem to calm your heart down. the thought of your beating heart made you want to check your phone, which still had no messages. you were waiting for jacob to text you. had you texted him first? no, but a girl can dream. the clock had already struck one in the morning, there was no way he would text you. then again, he told you to call if you ever needed anything... and since he was the one who had caused the problem, it wouldn't be so bad of you to call. you quickly looked up his caller-ID and was about to press call, but hesitated. you didn't want to seem too clingy, your relationship had only lasted for a month so far. before you could close the app, you almost dropped your phone. thankfully, you caught it just in time, but while catching it you had accidentally pressed on the call button. you froze, you couldn't hang up. the phone rang once... twice... three times before he answered.

"y/n?", jacob's voice was groggy, he had clearly just woken up. "... i woke you up, didn't i?", you sighed. "it's alright, i hadn't slept for long anyway.", he said, "is everything okay?" "yeah, i mean... yeah...", you sighed, "well, i can't sleep - but everything's fine." he laughed, making your heart do summersaults. you could hear him shuffle around in his bed, probably getting more comfortable. "why can't you sleep, hm?", he responded patiently. "... i keep thinking... about things.", you muttered and started staring very intently at your nails. "mhm... what things?", he asked. you, specifically me and you together. "just a bit of everything, you know?", you paused, "you probably don't want to hear about it anyway, i'm guessing." "y/n, how many times do i have to tell you that i, in fact, find what you talk and think about interesting?", he let out another chuckle, "please tell me." "... sharks...", you said. "... sharks?" "you know...", you tried to find some fact that you had learned about sharks over the years, "... some of them have two penises, in case one of them falls off..." great, now it sounds like i want to fuck a shark... jacob bursted out laughing, and you responded with a slight, nervous, chuckle. your microwave started beeping, signaling that it was time for you to take out the food that you had completely forgotten about. "shit.", you whispered. "are you making food?", he asked. "yes- ouch-", you burned yourself on the hot plate, "i am, i was bored." "are you alright?", he asked and you hummed in response. "i burned myself on the plate...", you sighed, "... jacob, this isn't going well." "i can tell.", he snickered. "don't tease me, not now... i'm in distress." "why's that?" "you don't need to know." "well you called me, so i feel like i have a right to." "you said it was fine!" "well, it's not anymore if it means i get to hear what you're actually thinking about, instead of shark dicks." you burned yourself on the plate for a second time. "oh, for god's sake! because i was thinking about you!", you exclaimed, "now don't ever mention the shark thing again!" "... you were thinking about me?", he asked, "that's what has been keeping you up?" of course you were thinking about him. his smile, his laugh, his soft touches... the way he would hold your hand while walking somewhere, or gently brush the hair out of your face if your hands were full, or wake up smiling to you despite you looking like death itself. of course you were thinking about him, when he is the most caring person you've ever met - you have never felt so loved. it didn't help that this morning, you were laying beside him in his bed and spent the best morning you've had in a while. the thought of not being close to him was driving you insane. "yes, i'm sorry i know that's weird...", was all that came out of your mouth. "can i tell you something weirder?", he asked, "i was literally just dreaming about you before your call woke me up." "you were?" "100%, yes. we were playing some sort of card game, and no matter how hard i tried i couldn't win over you. maybe it was because i didn't understand the game, but still... i was dreaming of you, because you take up most of my thoughts as well.", he said, "and it sure as fuck doesn't help that my bed still smells like you." you paused, you simply couldn't believe your ears. never in your life had you met someone like him... you had to see him, now. "maybe you could sleep better in my bed... with me.", you said. "are you asking me to come over?", jacob asked. "yes.", you said. "i want you to say it, then." you let out a deep sigh, but after little to no consideration you gave in. "i need you here, jacob.", you whispered. "i'll be right there, sweetheart.", he was smiling, you could hear it in his tone.