#yes thats the right amount of zeros

[thewonandonly]

LONGING FOR YOU

PLAYLIST : spotify

PAIRING : pro-baseball player!jaehyun x fem!college student!reader

GENRE : fluff, smut

PROMPT : "if you were my little girl, i'd do whatever i could do, i'd run away and hide with you." au

WC : 15,323 words

WARNINGS : strong language, sports medicine student!reader, reader used to play volleyball, teeny tiny age gap (reader is early 20's, jaehyun is irl age), greek life, jaehyun is implied to be a (former) frat brother (never officially states it), frat party, drinking/alcohol, there is a mention of puke/vomit, mention of overstimulating setting, cameo by yeri :3, mark, and johnny, consent is sexy, protection is hot, lots and lots of praise, BRIEF locker room sexual tension bc i had to, ig it can be considered a kind of sugar daddy au?, jaehyun has no rizz 🗣️, penetration (f), oral (m + f),

AUTHOR'S NOTE : jaehyun military enlistment 😞 jerma helped me write this thats why it took so long. forgive me for the horrendous explicit scene i quite literally have not written full length smut in so long. and also, jaehyun jaehyun jaehyun jaehyun jaehyun jaehyun. :3 that's all.

DISCLAIMER : the characters in this story are to be allusions to real people, and none of the situations, personalities, and actions found here should reflect reality. this story was created with zero intention to violate the images of the artists.

"Come on, come to the party with me!" Yeri groaned, tugging on your arm as if you were her mother and she was your child begging for a toy.

You sighed, rubbing your temples, "I would love to, but I've got work I've gotta do." It was the seventh time — yes, all in one day — where Yeri has asked you to join her at this giant frat party that her friend, Johnny, who happened to be the RA where said party was being held, invited her to. She would've loved to go by herself, but she planned to consume insane amounts of alcohol and would require someone with wonderful bedside manner, i.e. you. 

Yeri groaned, throwing her head back dramatically, "All you do is do your homework." She complained, "I'm sure the wonderful science behind athletic medicine can wait for one night off."

"I'm sorry, Yeri, but my entire scholarship is riding on this." You mumbled, watching Yeri groaned louder, as her head moved forward, trudging her way out your bedroom doorway.

You would be ecstatic to go to some lame party down University Road. You'd love to get drunk, hook up with some dude who is looking to hit. You'd love to take a break, but, unfortunately, your life after you graduate was already starting. You had 29 thousand dollars and two internships invested in your future. If you wanted to be an accredited professional in athletic medicine, you'd have to focus, and not get distracted or discouraged. 

But, then again, you're still young. You're only getting closer to the end, and Yeri is busy with her cheerleading career. You'd rather not lose this connection. Glancing at the clock, you noticed as the second hand tick away, sighing softly. It was thirty to 12. The night was still young.

You turned in your chair, calling to her, a small laugh escaping your lips as she looked at you with eyes that looked as if she was a kicked puppy, "I'll go."

Her face immediately lit up and she smiled, "You will?"

You held up your hands in surrender, standing from your cluttered desk, "You're right, as much as I hate to admit it. The world of medicine can wait."

"I'm so happy right now." She cheered happily, "Okay, I'll let you get ready. I'll take a quick shower and everything." She turned the corner into the hallway and you heard the shower run.

Sighing, you opened your closet door and analyzed the clothes on the hangers. You didn't have any "sexy" outfits, so to speak. Everything was strictly professional clothing, especially considering you had your internships around the corner. But, who could show up to a frat party in high rise, flared dress pants? Maybe it was time to break out the clothes you packed right out of high school. 

Once you tore through the boxes, pulled on the clothes, you could swear they grew tighter, which was normal; you were still growing, in more areas than one. You opted for sticking to the items you chose, for the most risqué look, considering it was a frat party.

Yeri was quick to get in and out of the shower, quick to get her makeup done, and quick to get dressed. You're sure she was going to be quick to get out the door as well.

You leaned against the wall to pull on your shoes, watching Yeri immediately grow frazzled as she struggled to find her keys, which were normally in the catch bowl, but was strategically hug up on the key hook earlier for convenience. 

The trip to the Pi Phi house wasn't far, but the blistering cold wind bit at your nose and cheeks as you and Yeri both walked down the road from your apartment to the frat house.

You both turned the corner, your jaws opening in shock. 

The Pi Phi house was huge, damn near 3 floors. And much to your dismay, it wasn't a new brother of the house at the door, it was two sisters from the Kappa Omega Pi sorority. They seemed nice, letting in quite a few people, until they turned away another girl. 

You looked to Yeri, sighing softly, "I don't think we're gonna get in." The small queue was moving quickly.

Yeri rolled her eyes so far back you were sure they'd get stuck, "Relax. If they don't let us in, I've got an in." She rubbed her hands together, the cold chill in the air slowly building, "God, fuck! It's fucking cold."

"Just don't think about it. We're almost to the front." You mumbled, stepping forward up onto the porch, watching the girl's faces drop at the sight of you after letting two guys inside.

They gave the two of you a once over, exhaling a deep breath through their nose, "It's six bucks to get in."

Yeri pulled out her phone, scoffing, "That's not what it says on the flyer." She turned her phone to the girls, giving a smartalick smirk, "And, besides, I know Johnny." 

The girls looked at each other, chuckling, "You know Johnny?"

Yeri crossed her arms, motioning to the open front door of the frat house, "Go on. Go get him."

One of the girls stepped inside, and walked out in seconds, a tall male peeking his head out, pulling a face at the girl, "Come on, you're really asking if Yeri can come in?" He nodded his head to the two of you. 

Yeri smiled at the girls, waving to them before turning to you and speaking over the music that grew significantly louder as you walked through the crowded hallways, "Those girls were definitely not girls girls."

"Aren't the Kappa Omega Pi sisters like really tightknit with Pi Phi?" You responded, watching your temporary escort split off from the two of you.

"Yeah," Yeri sighed, "Let's not worry about them, though! Let's just have fun!" She immediately turned a corner and you found yourself by your lonesome, squeezing past people with small whispers of "Excuse me's" and "Sorry's" before you finally made your way into the kitchen where it wasn't as crowded, but was definitely still filled with a few people. Pi Phi brothers and Kappa Omega Pi sisters were lined up along a wall where they took pictures together to show their love for their greek life. Your hand moved to grab at a bottle of Michelob Ultra, pouring it into the cup while you stared at the group taking photos. Maybe a social outing wasn't the best idea, considering the setting. You weren't much of a—

"Hey." Someone reached over and set the glass bottle down on the counter, laughing softly, "Your cup." 

You tore your eyes away from where you were staring, glancing down at the cup filled with foam from the beer, "Oh." You mumbled softly, glancing up at the person who was kind enough to take the empty bottle from your hand, "Thanks."

You watched him dump out the foamy beer into the sink, grabbing another plastic cup and beer, slowly pouring it out in front of you, "Here." 

"Thanks." You mumbled out again, grabbing the cup from his outstretched hand. It was dim in the kitchen, much to your dismay, only a string of Christmas lights you weren't sure the brothers ever took down from the passing holiday. You squinted your eyes to try to get a glimpse at who this person was for pouring your drink out. "I recognize you from somewhere."

"Damn, dude, what's taking so long?" A voice spoke over your own, at a much louder octave. He patted the guy on his shoulder, "Gotta celebrate your big game tomorrow."

Your brows pinched together as you assessed the voice, "Mark?" You questioned, your eyes squinting more, almost blinded by your lashes.

The shorter male turned to look at you, "Woah, Y/N, bro, I didn't even know you were here!" He smiled, laughing out loud, "What's up?" He asked.

"You're Pi Phi?" You asked him, waving awkwardly at him, "I didn't know you were part of the greek life."

"I didn't know you were either." Mark laughed again, "Bro, that's crazy. I didn't know you were in a sorority."

The unknown man turned to pour out some drinks, Mark's hand holding onto his shoulder for balance as people shoved their way through. 

"Oh, I'm not." You shook your head, taking a sip of the beer poured into the cup, "Yeri was able to get us in."

"Yeri's here?" Mark began to whip his head around, looking for the mentioned lady, "Dude, I didn't know she'd be here." His hand began to slap at the other's shoulder.

"Guess it's time you get over your fear." The other called to Mark, who grabbed three of the cups in his hand.

"Oh, I completely forgot." He motioned between the three of them, "Uh, Jaehyun, this is Y/N, she's in my athletic science class. The one I was telling you about!" 

The man, now named Jaehyun, waved his free hand at you, "Nice to meet you."

"Man, Y/N's, like, the smartest girl in the class! She knows a lot about that stuff." Mark nudged him, "Maybe once she completes her residency, she can be your primary physician." He teased.

"You play sports?" You questioned, taking another sip of the beer from the cup, "What do you play?"

"Baseball. Nothing too exciting."

"Does he play sports? He's in the ML." Mark seemed more excited about it than Jaehyun was, your smile growing as you saw Jaehyun roll his eyes. "ML means major league." 

"I know what it means, Mark." You laughed, "But, hey, congratulations! It must be nice." You smiled to Jaehyun, "Have you always wanted to play major league?"

Jaehyun shrugged, "Got scouted in high school. Johnny was the one who convinced me to accept it."

Mark laughed, "Well, hey, Y/N, it's nice to see you. If you want, we're gonna be at the couch with everyone." He used his elbow to motion over to the center of the house, "No pressure!"

You nodded, "Yeah, sure. I can help you carry some of the cups." You grabbed two of the cups from the counter in one hand, following the two of them back over to the couch where Johnny, Yeri, and other attendees sat, including the girls from the front door. You squatted slightly to place the cups down on the coffee table, wincing softly as you felt your knee creak.

"You okay?" Jaehyun, who wandered behind you to sit down, asked, his hand lingering on your back as you stumbled.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine." You laughed awkwardly, sitting down on the couch, "Old injury." You waved it off, taking another drink of your beer.

Mark found a spot next to Yeri, smiling softly as he greeted her and began conversating with her. You glanced at the two, chuckling softly as you watched Mark's cheeks turn pink.

You heard a jumble of words from Jaehyun, turning your head back to him, "What was that?" You leaned closer to him to hear him over the music playing over the subwoofer speakers.

"What from, if you don't mind me asking?" He repeated into your ear, his breath gently fanning across your cheek.

"I used to play volleyball." You shrugged, "Liberio, so, I normally fell on my knees." Your hand found it's way to the cap of your knee, rubbing it with your hand.

"Used to?"

"Yeah. I stopped playing after the injury." You laughed, nodding your head, "But, my doctor was really sweet. She actually helped me to study up until the entrance exam." 

Jaehyun nodded his head, "Well, I know myself and other athletes will be happy for your help." 

You smiled, laughing softly, "I hope." You turned slightly to look at him as he sat back against the couch, his arm resting over the back, "Do you like the major leauge?" Setting down your cup, you looked at him.

Jaehyun shrugged, "It's nice. I've been on a training regimen since I started. I mostly joined just cause I love baseball, though." He smiled, the cup resting in his hand on top of his thigh, "But, I mean, the coach and my teammates are pretty cool. And the pay isn't bad."

"I bet." You chuckled softly, "At least you get to do what you love." You smiled at him.

"How do you-"

"When are you-"

You both spoke over one another, both of you laughing.

Jaehyun motioned to you, "You go first." He reached his hand up to lean his head against it, looking at you.

"I was just gonna ask how you know Johnny and Mark." You shook your head, "I know you said that Johnny encouraged you to accept the scouting offer in high school. But, how'd you meet Mark?"

Jaehyun laughed, his hand reaching up to rub his temples, "Well, it's a pretty funny story." He started, glancing at Mark, who continued to talk Yeri's ear off, "He kinda joined the frat after finding out I was apart of it. I was only apart of it for a month, but, you know, sometimes people just get close."

"Well, if I do say so myself, it seems Mark is ecstatic that he knows you personally." You nodded to Jaehyun.

"I'm glad."

Yeri turned to you quickly, tapping your shoulder, "Hey, Y/N." She called to you, pulling your sight away from Jaehyun to look at her, "Wanna dance?"

You glanced at Jaehyun, and back at her, your mouth open and shutting like a golfish, "I-I really shouldn't... My knee."

Yeri groaned, "Come on! I love this song." She pouted, rubbing her hands together as she silently pleaded.

It was true, she did love this song. God, the amount of times she'd play this song in the car would make you nauseous. And you didn't have much of a choice when she pulled you up from where you were sitting to drag you into the crowd of people dancing to the music.

"How are you and Mark?" You called into her ear, the two of you holding hands as you both lazily danced.

Yeri glanced back at Mark, who was happily comversating with Jaehyun and Johnny, giggling like a little kid before she turned to you, "He's so much fun to talk to." She smiled.

You smiled back, happy to see her happy. "I'm glad." You responded, "Plus, he really likes you. You know he can't hide his feelings well." You glanced back at the three, glancing at your feet as you caught Jaehyun's eye.

Your friend smirked, laughing softly, "Oh, I see what's going on." She nudged your shoulder, which you rubbed with your hand as you looked at her, "You've got the hots for number 16." Yeri teased.

"What?" Your voice came out slightly higher, considering the assumption, "No, no." You shook your head, "I just met him."

"Doesn't mean you can't find him hot." She nudged you again, "Johnny told me he was expecting him to come tonight." She pulled out her phone, opening the tab of her browser to show you the search. "Jung Jaehyun, major league pitcher." In the middle of the crowd, you glanced between the phone and the man who sat on the couch, "Number 16." Yeri's finger clicked on a photo of Jaehyun, the front of the jersey embroidered with big red letters that read, "Sentinels".

"Wow." It's all you could say. You knew Mark said he was in major league, but you didn't think that major. You were thinking maybe small hometown baseball that made it big. "He even has a trading card?"

Yeri nodded, locking her phone before putting it back in her pocket, "He's big." She nodded her head, "Professional Sentinels player, going on his fourth year with the team."

You were flabbergasted. No wonder Mark was so excited telling you.

Standing there, you thought for a second, "If he's so big, why isn't anyone freaking out about him being here?" You raised an eyebrow.

Yeri raised her own brow, "You'll be surprised how many athletics students don't watch athletics." She hummed, nodding her head at her own statement.

"Okay, well, now that you told me this, I'll just feel like a gold digger." You rubbed your neck shyly, completely unaware the end of the song just as another one kicked up.

"Shut up." She scrunched up her face again, grabbing your hand to lead you back to the couch where you both were previously sat, "You're fine. You're nothing like a gold digger."

"Welcome back!" Johnny called, motioning to the couch.

Yeri sat the both of you down, smiling at Mark as soon as she got comfortable, taking the cup from his hand to take a sip.

You sat down, Jaehyun to your right and Yeri to your left. 

Jaehyun's whole hand covered the top of the cup he held, slowly passing it to you, "I held onto your drink while you were gone." He smiled.

"Oh, thank you." You nodded to him, taking a small swig of the drink, glancing at him shyly.

He wore much more lax clothing; a black long sleeved shirt and black cargo pants, various rings along his fingers and a silver necklace with an charm you couldn't quite see as it was flipped over. You glanced away, watching Jaehyun smile softly as you took another sip.

"What?" You questioned, blushing softly as he continued to stare.

"Nothing. Nothing." He mumbled, "Just... don't drink too much." 

You smiled softly, setting the now empty cup down on the table, "Don't worry. I normally only have one drink and I'm done." You sat back on the couch, looking at him.

You both sat there for a second, not saying anything. Jaehyun would glance over the back of the couch every once in a while, meeting the hands of other members of Greek life, making small conversations with them, or even sharing a few laughs as they conversed. Sometimes Johnny or Mark would join in.

Slowly, you felt your social battery slowly drain, and you whispered to Yeri to share where you'd be going; outside, in the expansive, empty backyard of the frat house, away from the music, crowds and smell of alcohol in the air.

You sighed softly as you relaxed against a chair in the backyard, glancing down at your phone to slowly recharge your own battery.

Yet, it seemed like despite being away, your thoughts and fingers lingered back to Jaehyun, typing his name across the keyboard into the search bar.

There were articles about him, fan pages, compilation videos of some of his pitches and plays. Professional photos and fan captures. He really was larger than life. 

The baseball uniform he wore was clean and pristine aside from the red dirt across the left side of his body, and after much digging, you found out that after batting, he'd reach a base by sliding. 

You found yourself diving headfirst into doom scrolling about Jaehyun, his career, what people thought about him. His record with the team was clean, and his ability was impressive. He was often claimed as MVP of his team, giving them several wins in their games.

The sliding door opening was enough to have you scrambling to lock your phone and set it down in your lap. You glanced behind you, finding it was nothing more than another guest at the frat party, gagging as they turned the corner to spill their guts. 

You pulled a face, standing up to move back inside to the party, the sudden smell of puke and alcohol mixing making you feel sick, mixing together just as you opened the door to step back inside. 

You recharged your social battery just enough to continue talking before Yeri wanted to leave, yet it dropped right back down again as the smell settled around you. Did it always smell like sweat? Did the floor always feel sticky? Did the counters have all those cups on them? 

Everything felt so overwhelming.

"Hey, are you okay?" 

It's the second time that voice has asked you if you were feeling okay. You pull your eyes away from looking at the scene before you to look at Jaehyun, whose eyes were softened.

"I was just about to check on you." He mumbled.

"I'm okay." You took a deep breath in, slowly exhaling, "It's a little overwhelming in here." 

"Yeah." Jaehyun chuckled, letting him step behind you to slowly guide you away from the big group of people, "Here. This way you can get the best of both worlds." Jaehyun leaned beside you against the wall close to the front door, holding the brim of his plastic cup with his fingers, glancing around at the group as it only grew bigger.

"Thank you." You whispered, crossing your legs as you leaned against the wall, "Hey, so, I know Mark said you were in major league, and... Yeri kinda showed me the google search about you."

Jaehyun laughed softly, "Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck, "Sentinels."

"Yeah." You nodded, looking at him, "Must be cool going places and getting recognized." 

He shrugged, "I mean, it's all the same. Often times people don't know it's me without a cap or a batting helmet." Jaehyun nodded, "It is pretty cool having a trading card, though." He smiled to you, turning to look at you.

"I saw that! Did you see how much someone's willing to pay for a signed one?" You chuckled.

"Yeah, I did." He laughed too, "Can't believe someone has that much money to spend on a piece of paper. Especially when I started not too long ago."

"Well, I mean, you do get that type of money." You nudged him, feeling your uneasiness quickly disappearing as you spoke to him.

Jaehyun shook his head, "Most of it goes to bills and taxes." A group of some Pi Pho frat brothers pushed by, forcing Jaehyun into you, his arm above your head to make sure he didn't crush you, "Jesus fu- Christ." He didn't finish the swear, glancing at you, "Are you okay?" He glanced at the people sprinting by, one slipping and dropping their cup of alcohol.

"I'm fine." You whispered, "Fine."

Jaehyun leaned his arm on the wall, right above your head. His face was close enough to see the details. He smelt good — like rose and ember; so much so that it was intoxicating. His dimples and his eyes as he smiled, the faint stubble along his chin and his upper lip. The necklace hanging from his neck, the emblem still flipped backwards; you were beginning to think he put it on backwards for it to face away from others. As you appreciated his features you realized that perhaps he was sculpted from marble by Michelangelo himself. 

The faint smell of alcohol from his red solo cup and a puddle of the spilled liquor from the brothers swirled around the both of you. The song changed beat and volume, glancing around the corner to find Johnny turning up the dial, the bass nearly blowing out your eardrums.

"Don't you have a game tomorrow?" You spoke into his ear over the music, feeling your heart flutter as he turned his head slightly so you didn't have to move much.

He chuckled, shrugging, "It's kinda tradition to visit before a game." He responded, his lips gently brushing against your cheek as he spoke.

You nodded as he moved back to his position, smiling at him, "So, do you always linger around the university or...?"

"No," He shook his head, and you can see the liquid courage glossing his eyes, "But, I mean, if I got to find someone as beautiful as you, maybe it's not a bad idea." Someone nudged behind him, causing him to straighten up with his chest hitting your own. He had you pressed flush against the wall, but he obviously wasn't focused on that as he glanced behind him, "A lot of energy for you students." He laughed as he looked back at you, "Must be nice to be young."

You laughed, smiling at him, "Aren't you only 27?"

"Well, yeah, but..." He playfully rolled his neck over his shoulders, "At some point in time, these old bones have to rest."

"And you decided to do that at an old frat house with a bunch of newly turned 21 year olds?"

He shrugged again, "Better than the old farts in the league." He glanced around the party, noticing multiple of the attendees either drinking to their restless end, making out with some of the bubbly blonde sorority sisters or passed out on the ground, table or couch. He noticed Mark talking up a storm with Yeri, and Johnny handing out more drinks to guests, "But, you're right. Wanna head out?"

"Yo-you wanna leave with me?" You stammered.

He laughed, "Yeah!" He smiled, his dimples making an appearance once more, "How rare is it that I meet a beautiful woman here among all these girls?"

You blushed at his compliment, smiling before nodding your head, "Yeah. Yeah, let's head out." You stood up straight, Jaehyun pushing away from the wall, "Let me just let Yeri know where I'm gonna be at." You stepped around him, making your way over to the couch where Yeri sat, "Yeri." You tapped her shoulder, and when she didn't turn around you called her again, "Yeri!"

"What?" She turned to you, "Is something wrong?"

"I'm heading out." You spoke into her ear, "With Jaehyun."

Yeri smirked, nudging your shoulder, "Come on, stop messing with me." She laughed.

"I'm not messing with you!" You chuckled, "Hey, you have my location, and maybe I'll be back tonight, most likely tomorrow morning." You gave Mark a wave as you made your way down the hallway once more.

"Use protection!" She called loudly as you walked off, continuing her conversation with Mark. 

You made your way back to where you and Jaehyun were standing previously, catching sight of Jaehyun in the kitchen, bidding Johnny farewell with a one-armed hug and an untraditional handshake. The two were laughing as they both finished up their conversation, Jaehyun walking straight towards you, "You ready?"

"Yeah. I'm ready."

Jaehyun took your hand in his own, guiding you out of the frat house. The silence of the night was a comforting contrast to the loud frat party you were both victims of attending. The rustle of the leaves, the sound of wind whistling. It was the only sounds you could hear as your ears adjusted to the noise disappearing. 

The street lamps gave you better sight of Jaehyun's figure. His arms were ripped, to say the least. He had veins crawling up from his hand to his elbow, and his hand was a little rough, calloused skin from swinging baseball bats for a lifetime. 

The two of you approached a fairly new car, but still a few years behind the recent model. Jaehyun unlocked the door, and pulled open the passenger side.

"Thanks." You whispered, settling into the seat. You slowly buckled in the seatbelt, Jaehyun gently closing the door just as the realization just set in that you were in the car with a national professional athlete. The butterflies began to fly from your stomach into your throat, and you were worried if you even spoke that you'd just embarrass yourself.

Jaehyun climbed into the driver's seat, sighing softly as he reached up to stick the key into the ignition, "Sorry. I didn't expect to bring anyone back with me, so, I brought my less inconspicuous car." He chuckled softly.

"No, no! It's fine. I mean, you're already one step ahead of me. I don't even have a license, so, I have no right to judge." You matched his chuckle, smiling at him. "Besides, there's something more humble about an old 2008 Honda Civic." 

Jaehyun let the car warm up for a second before he pulled off from the curb, his hand lingering on the stick shift, his foot lingering on the clutch. 

You began to admire his hands once more. He had slender fingers, his wrist was adorned by a silver cuban link bracelet, another vein wrapping around his arm and ending at his bicep. You could tell he's worked out, but not too much. I mean, he is a professional athlete for a living, so him working out wasn't much of a surprise. Just as he stopped at a stop light, you pulled your eyes from his form and glanced out the window. 

The both of you drove through the heart of the city, your eyes catching the bright lights as you stared at the window. It was a nice difference from University Road. The quiet melody of music played from the radio, filling the tense silence between the two of you. Jaehyun clearly kept the car in good shape. There were zero stains on the seating, the steering wheel and bulb of the stick shift were a little worn from where his hands rested, the radio seemed intact.

Jaehyun continued to drive, clearing his throat, "You can change the channel, if you'd like to." He motioned to the radio, before he quickly downshifted, "I have a bunch of CD's in the glove box."

You took the initiative to open the glove box, smiling to yourself as you saw the CD case, unzipping and opening it. You weren't sure if you were smiling because he seemed like such an old soul for keeping CD's for his older car, or because it looked like the CD's were all in alphabetical order. "Crazy Town?" You questioned teasingly.

There was a slight tint at the shell of Jaehyun's ear, chuckling, "What can I say? They're revolutionary." He looked into his mirror and over his shoulder as he switched lanes, glancing over at you as he saw you eyeballing him, "What?"

"Just never took you for one who enjoyed rock music like this." You continued to flip through the CD case, seeing various discs of music; including, but not limited to rock, pop, hip hop and r&b. There were more genres that you didn't really recognize and you tried to read the fine print to see if they printed it, but no luck. "I think it's definitely fair to say you listen to every genre."

Jaehyun chuckled, watching you insert the Crazy Town CD into the reader, his hand quickly moving to turn down the volume, "I just listen to music. Genre doesn't matter to me."

You smiled to yourself, slowly turning the volume up as the CD started playing. The silence felt less tense now as the music played between the both of you. Given the circumstances, you needed the tension to die down. 

You looked out the window, not recognizing the area you were in very well, but you definitely recognized the giant building on the side of the road; two tall buildings beside each other, the sign reading "The Hallows".

Jaehyun took a very gentle left turn into the roundabout, stopping right in the middle as he climbed out and passed the keys to his 2008 Honda Civic to the valet. 

"You live... here?" You questioned, staring up at the buildings.

Jaehyun chuckled, grabbing your hand in his, "Yeah." He smiled, "It's pretty nice. Out of the way." He guided you into the lobby of the building, and you were even more awestruck.

Everything in the lobby were either expensively vintage or expensively new. They even had a couch you would see frequently in a magazine you glanced over while you waited in line at the supermarket. A couch you could only dream of purchasing. For this condo — penthouse, seems more likely — complex to have 4 sets of a couch that only the richest people can afford already told you what to expect.

Jaehyun greeted the front desk attendant, calling the elevator for the two of you, his hand holding yours gently. 

A small chime was heard just as the doors to the lift open, and he motioned for you to step inside. You took a step in, glancing at every corner, making eye contact with the camera. 

Jaehyun sighed softly, clicking the floor button as he stepped inside, stopping just beside you. "Sorry if this makes you all uncomfortable." He started, "I realize now just how awkward it might be to show up here. Like I'm showing off."

"No, no, it's not your fault! You make your money the same way I do, you're allowed to spend it where you please." You smiled, "And sometimes where you please to spend it is at a gigantic apartment building, and that's okay." 

Jaehyun chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck, "I'm just enjoying your company so much, I don't wanna scare you away."

You smiled to yourself, messing with your fingers as you glanced down at your feet, "I'm enjoying your company, too." You chuckle, "A lot."

Jaehyun smiled brightly as the elevator doors opened once more, and grabbed your hand back in his own as he guided you down the hallway, swinging your intertwined hands as he walked. His free hand grabbed his keys and skillfully unlocked the door, allowing you to step inside.

Which you agreed to, and you were met with a large condo, with a window large enough to span across the wall of his condo. The skyline was bright enough to light up the wall straight across from it. There was a giant kitchen, a giant living room. The whole place was giant. 

Jaehyun tossed his keys into a catch bowl by the front door, flicking on the lights.

"It's..." You paused as you continued to take in the sights, "It's beautiful."

"Yeah, my... Johnny and Mark kinda got a little excited with an interior designer and they decorated it like crazy."

You smiled, taking off your shoes to set them to the side before you took a step further. "Did you always have the idea to have an open floor plan?"

"Well, no, but like I said, Johnny and Mark got excited." Jaehyun chuckled, "Gave me a bachelor's pad when I'm hardly even a bachelor."

"Live while you're young." You whispered to yourself as you admired the city line. Jaehyun stopped beside you, but his eyes lingered on your reaction, which he was generally pleased to see.

Jaehyun cleared his throat, his fingers pulling at the cuff of his long sleeved shirt, "So, Mark told me a lot about you." He started.

"Did he mention how I let him cheat off my papers?" You teased, turning to look at Jaehyun.

"No, no, nothing like that." Jaehyun laughed, shaking his head, "But, he did show me your SNS accounts." 

"Oh, that's embarrassing."

"I think you looked amazing." Jaehyun whispered back almost immediately, "But, you look more amazingin person."

"It seems like we both looked up each other."

Jaehyun shrugged, "That's why I wasn't as upset when you did it." He smiled, "Where was I going with this?" He mumbled to himself, "Mark really talked me up for this." 

The tension between you both returned. And it wasn't an awful tension. It was tension that was telling you that obviously something was going to happen. You didn't know how long or what Mark said to him, but you couldn't help but thank Mark for whatever length of time he's been talking to Jaehyun about you.

Jaehyun cleared his throat again, feeling like all the words he prepared for this moment had disappeared from his mind. His eyes that were once watching you turned to look out the window where you were looking previously.

"You don't have to force yourself." You whispered, smiling at him. 

Jaehyun smiled back, turning to look at the couch, "Come on, let's sit down." He sat down on the leather couch, and you could notice he was in his element.

You followed, sitting beside him. 

"You didn't have to come here if you weren't comfortable." He started, his hand finding your own, "I know it's pretty awkward to get picked up at a frat party, and I never meant to put you in a position where you didn't think you could say no."

"Oh, I didn't think of it like that." You chuckled, "Trust me, if I wanted to say no, I would've." 

Jaehyun leaned a little closer, drawing his bottom lip in with his teeth, "Can I kiss you?"

God, you've been waiting for that question all night. Nodding your head, you smiled as Jaehyun's lips pressed against yours. The hands you have been admiring for the last 30 minutes during the car ride were now placed on your hips as he attempted to pull you closer until you were practically on his lap. He tasted of Heinekien beer, and spearmint, and you began to question when and where did he get gum or mouth spray from. Despite the mix, his lips were soft, and they were tender against your own.

Jaehyun pulled away slowly after a moment of kissing you, his hands lingering on your waist, his eyes opening to look into your own.

You both shared a small laugh, a lingering peck placed on his lips.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do that." Jaehyun whispered, letting a sigh escape his lips.

Glancing at your phone's time, you chuckled, "Can't be anymore than 2 hours." You teased, "But, if it's any consolation, I've been thinking about it too."

Jaehyun rolled his eyes, "You really aren't aware of how much Mark's been trying to set me up with you." He whispered.

"Is that so?" You raised an eyebrow, "How long?"

Jaehyun sighed, running a hand through his hair, "Months, at least." He leaned his head against the back of the couch, the hair he pushed back falling back into his eyes, "He's been trying to set me up with you for the longest. Johnny, too."

You rolled your eyes, "You're telling me that tonight was one giant ploy to get us to finally meet?"

"No, no, definitely not. That was a frat party, through and through. But, I'm happy we could've met there." Jaehyun gently grabbed your hand, pressing soft kisses to your fingers.

"Are you always this romantic?" 

"Only with people I actually have feelings for."

"And that implies that there's people that you have had feelings for."

Jaehyun chuckled, "It does. But, none of them were you." He smiled, intertwining his fingers with your own. You looked at the size of his hand compared to yours, the length of his fingers compared to yours. Jaehyun had height, and his hands definitely matched that; slender fingers, thick veins, soft skin. His nails were well kept too, considering what he did for a living.

His words repeated in your head, and you had to stop yourself from smiling. To be desired and admired for that long, with nothing but Mark's words and your social media posts to hold him over. 

"Why didn't you just follow me and talk to me?" You chuckled, watching him kiss your hand and wrist.

"It's not like I have a personal account. I only have my professional one for work." He whispered softly, "Plus, I had to see if you were interested first. I'm not good at that over text." 

You rolled your eyes, "Excuses."

Jaehyun chuckled, "Maybe a little. I just didn't want to swing and miss." He smiled, "I have an idea." He sat a little closer, his fingers playing with your own again, "Why don't you come to the game tomorrow? I have one pass left."

"I don't know a single thing about baseball." 

"That's fine." He smiled, "I'm not expecting you to figure out the miles per hour of my fastball. I just... I think I'd do better with you there." 

"Who else is gonna be there?"

"Johnny, Mark, and your friend. Mark wanted to show off." Jaehyun's dimples made another appearance, and you couldn't help your heart racing behind your ribcage. "You don't have to say yes, but I'll be happy if you were there."

You thought for what felt like minutes, but in reality, it was nothing but seconds, "Yeah. I think it'd be fun."

"Unless we totally lose." He chuckled, "My only excuse would be that I was too distracted by you."

"Are you always this cheesy?" You smiled, shaking your head.

Jaehyun met your smile with his own, "I can be." He shrugged.

"It's cute." You whispered, "I'd love to see you play, Jaehyun."

Jaehyun was physically fighting his excitement, giving another shy smile, "Great. Great." He chuckled, squeezing your hand. "If that's the case, we should probably head to bed then. We've gotta be up early if we wanna make it in time."

"Right." Your hand reaches for your phone in your back pocket, and you open your contacts, getting ready to call a taxi to pick you up, "I can get a cab ride home."

"I was thinking..." He locked your phone, "Maybe you could spend the night here." He whispered shyly. 

"Oh." You thought for a second, "Oh!" 

Jaehyun chuckled, "Doesn't have to be anything more than innocent, if that's what you want." He stood up from the couch, your hand lingering in his. "Come on, I have some clothes you can wear."

"Please don't tell me you're gonna dress me up like Adam Sandler." You stood up, letting him guide you down the long hallway to his — once again — gigantic bedroom. The lighting was dim, and you would've thought he had the lights on the entire day if it wasn't for the sound of the switch flipping. There was a bay window adjacent to the bed set of velvety black duvet, sheets and dark stained bed frame. 

Jaehyun let you linger by the door while he wandered off to somewhere around the corner, only to return with a red dirt stained baseball jersey and a pair of sweats you were sure weren't going to fit you. "Here you go."

You snapped back from admiring his bedroom to grab the clothes, smiling at him, "Did you wash this?"

Jaehyun nodded, "Red dirt stains. Only way to get it out is power washing." 

"Good enough for me." You laughed, "Where should I change?"

"Oh! Right, right." He stepped behind you to guide you by your shoulders to the double bathroom, "You can change in here." He looked at you through the mirror, smiling softly, "And, if you aren't comfortable with us sleeping in the same bed, I can always take the guest room."

"You have a guest room, too?" You chuckled, setting the spare clothes he gave you on the counter.

"Yeah. The bed isn't as comfortable in there as it is in here, though." Jaehyun continued to watch you through the mirror before he turned his eyes away and walked out of the bathroom, "I'll let you get changed." He nodded, shutting the door behind him.

You took a little longer to admire the bathroom, your fingers running across the granite counter, the big mirror and the nice black sinks. He had a walk-in shower, lined with dark grey tile. You peeked around the sliding door to the shower, catching sight of a shower ledge where the occupant could sit. 

You smiled to yourself before you turned to start changing your clothes, pulling on the clothes Jaehyun was nice enough to offer. It smelled like him. And they were nice and soft.

You folded up the clothes you wore to the party, setting them to the side of the sink closest to the door, gently opening the door.

Jaehyun sat on the edge of the bed, standing up as soon as you stepped out, "Hey."

"Hi."

"They look better on you than on me." Jaehyun chuckled softly, blushing a soft pink, pushing his hair back with his hand, "I knew they would."

You raised an eyebrow, chuckling softly, "Is this your way of saying you wanna see me wear your clothes more often?"

"Yes, definitely." He wore clear framed glasses, andyou could swear you saw them fogging up from the blush growing on his cheeks. "I definitely want to see you in my clothes more often." He grabbed your hand in his own, squeezing it gently.

"We'll see." You teased, squeezing his hand back.

Jaehyun smiled, "Did you think... about...?" He pointed at the bed, silently asking. 

"If you want me to, I can sleep in the guest room." You started, "I mean, it's your bedroom. I am a guest."

"I have no issue sleeping in the guest room. The whole bed thing... that was a joke." Jaehyun cleared his throat, obviously tense. "The mattress in the other room is just the right amount of soft and stiff."

You had to stifle the laugh that threatened to leave. "Jaehyun, really, I don't have an issue sleeping in the guest room."

He nodded his head, "Okay, okay." He smiled awkwardly, "But, really, I wouldn't mind if you stayed in here with me. Just put this whole thing behind us." He laughed.

"Hm, that might be easier." You continued to hold his hand as you sat on the edge of the bed, "As long as you promise to not crush me."

"Don't worry. I sleep like a log. Fall asleep in one position, wake up in the morning in the same." He held up his hands in defense, "I also promise to try to keep my hands to myself."

"Haha." You laughed sarcastically, sitting him beside you.

"I'm just kidding. I'll keep my hands to myself if you want me to." He nudged you, intertwining your fingers together.

"And if I don't?"

Jaehyun raised an eyebrow again, glancing at you, "Then I won't."

You smiled, "Sounds like a plan." You let go of his hand to crawl up to the head of the bed, laying on your side as you rested on a pillow.

"What? Like you not wanting me to keep my hands to myself or...?"

You laughed, "Just come lay down. It's already almost 3am and you said we have to be up early, didn't you?" 

Jaehyun took off his glasses, setting them down on the bedside table, laying down on the pillow next to yours, a soft smile on his face. 

☆

You aren't sure when you fell asleep, and you definitely weren't sure about how you ended up with Jaehyun's arm over your hip, the alarm clock beside his bed blaring the god sound of the "Apex" ring tone. You slowly sat up, rubbing your eye and running your hand through your hair. You took a second to remember the scene of Jaehyun's bedroom before your eyes, turning your head to admire him. You were aware how odd it felt that you were allowing yourself to lay beside him in his bed, wearing his clothes. You weren't sure why you were doing this. 

You tried to convince yourself it was the alcohol you had the night before but you weren't even tipsy, let alone drunk. You could feel the butterflies flutter in your stomach as you thought about the night before, studying his face as he slept. You wondered how many people would kill to see this view. 

"Jaehyun." You whispered, leaning against your hand, brushing some hair from out of his face. 

"Hmm?" He grumbled, obviously half asleep.

"It's 8 a.m." You responded gently, quietly trying to coerce him out of his slumber, "We're gonna be late, Jaehyun."

Jaehyun groaned, pulling his arm back to his chest as he sat up and pressed the stop button on his home screen. He sighed, pulling his legs out of the covers so they could touch the ground. 

Some moment throughout the night, Jaehyun obviously pulled on a large white t-shirt and sweats, expelled the shirt from his body (evident by the white t-shirt thrown at the foot of the bed), and went to sleep. 

His back was muscular, his shoulder blades prominent as he stretched his arms above his head and in front of him. His fingers wiped at his eyes before he pulled on his glasses and stood up to stretch further.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked gruffly, turning to look at you, "I hope I didn't hog the bed too much."

You fought with your eyes as they wanted to linger on the happy trail below his belly button, settling on shutting your eyes as you smiled at him, "It was perfect, Jaehyun."

The sound of rustling sheets made you open your eyes to find Jaehyun on all fours, his face impossibly closer to you, "Good." He whispered, using a hand to pinch your chin with his thumb and index finger, "I've been thinking about kissing you again since last night."

Your cheeks turned red, and your heart raced in your chest. "Why didn't you do something about it earlier then?"

"You looked too beautiful sleeping." He smiled, "But, if you'll allow me, I'd like to do something about it now."

You smiled, "I'll allow it."

Jaehyun chuckled, cupping your cheek to press a kiss against your lips. His lips were still as soft as they were the night before, his hands gently as his thumb rubbed across the skin of your cheek. Despite it feeling like minutes, it was only seconds in reality until Jaehyun pulled away.

"Can I consider that my good luck kiss for tonight?" He asked softly. 

"Yeah." You chuckled, "And if you win, I'll maybe consider giving you a victory kiss as well."

"Sweet." He nodded, moving back to climb off the bed, making his way to the bathroom, "I'm gonna take a quick shower."

"Alright."

"I'll be back."

"'Kay." You smiled as he stepped into the bathroom and shut the door, immediately reaching over to the nightstand to grab your phone. 

You don't know what you were thinking staying the night when you didn't even have a change of clothes. You sent Yeri a quick text asking her to grab you a set of clothes, anything would do. Especially something warm. 

You can tell she agreed when she started calling you on Facetime, which you answered.

"How was it?" She asked as soon as the call connected.

"What do you mean?" You asked, turning down the volume as you sat back against the headboard.

Yeri rolled her eyes, sitting up in her own bed, "Come on, share all the details." Her screen switched to "Paused" and you could only assume that she was scrolling either on Instagram or Tw- "Holy shit! You're at the Hallows?"

"Yeah, that's the name of the building."

"Y/N, how out of touch are you?" Yeri started, her face returning to the screen, "The Hallows is where all the famous people live, like Lee Jongsuk and Seo Inguk."

"Well, if you're asking, no, I haven't seen anyone." You started, "The lobby looked expensive, though."

"I've gotta see this!" She stood up, "Okay, tell me what outfit you want then I'll head there."

Yeri entered your room at your shared apartment, opening your closet and turning the camera to show you different shirts, pants and other fabrics. You both took about 30 minutes of the call deciding on a good outfit, before you both settled on something.

"I'll be there in a few. What should I do when I get there?" Yeri asked, folding the clothes neatly into a bag.

"I can grab the clothes from you in the lobby." You nodded, "I'll see you when you get here."

"Bye. Love you."

"Love you, Yeri." You responded before ending the call. 

You heard the shower water come to a stop, and you fully expected Jaehyun to walk out of the bathroom but you sat there, staring at the door as he stood behind it. 

A text from Yeri came through your phone and you stood up, making a slow trek to the front door, which you opened and closed behind you. You remembered the door number, and the floor number, and you memorized the button you'd have to press to get back up. You suddenly felt awkward to even walk down into the lobby wearing Jaehyun's clothes, but the awkwardness melt away as you saw the area empty. Yeri was the only one there, recording herself for her Instagram story. 

She was too absorbed in recording the lobby that when you stood in front of her as the camera panned to you, she jumped, a yelp getting cut off just as she released the button. "Jesus, you scared the crap out of me." She said through a laugh, patting your shoulder. 

"Do I look that bad?" You questioned, grabbing the clothes from her hand.

"No, you don't look bad. You know me." She chuckled, I brought you some extra shoes too, so you don't have to worry about wearing the ones from yesterday." 

"You're awesome."

"It's really nice in here." She started, looking around the lobby, "I almost feel too broke to be here." 

You ran your finger over the clothes, chuckling, "I felt the same." You smiled, "So, how'd it go last night with Mark?" 

Yeri smiled to herself, "Well, I think it went wonderfully." She paused, playing with her keyring, "He asked if I wanted to come with him to Jaehyun's game today." 

"I heard." You laughed, "At least you'll have me to play wingman."

"You're coming too?" She smiled, "Awesome! Now I don't have to be so nervous." 

You laughed, "I've gotta get ready. Jaehyun's already in the shower and everything." You gave her a hug, "Get back safe."

"Text me if anything new happens!"

"Same with you." You called the elevator, watching her walk back out to her car, where you're sure she'd play her song of the week over and over until she got tired of it.

You retraced your steps as you stepped into the elevator, thinking of the night before as Jaehyun clicked the floor button to get you up to his place. The elevator stalled, then moved upwards. 

You felt the same butterflies in your stomach as you rode the elevator up, smiling to yourself as you glanced down at the clothes you held in your arms.

Could you even begin to consider this a date? You thought to yourself, It could be considered nothing more than just visiting Jaehyun's workplace. 

As the elevator stopped, you made your way down the hallway and stopped right outside Jaehyun's front door. You knocked on the door, waiting patiently for him to open the door. Which he opened, to him wearing nothing more than black sweatpants around his waist, his hair dripping droplets down his collarbones. 

"Hi." You looked at him.

"Hey." He chuckled, "I thought you left."

You shook your head, "Without my shoes?"

"Good point." He opened the door a bit wider for you to step inside, which you did.

"Yeri just brought me some clothes to wear for today." You motioned to the folded clothes in your arms.

"That's nice of her." Jaehyun smiled, "You can use the bathroom to change if you'd like." He closed the door, "I'm making something to eat as well."

You nodded, making your way to the bathroom in the hallway, quickly changing into the outfit Yeri and yourself picked out through the video call. It looked almost as nice as you thought when you imagined it. Sure, the black shirt was darker than the washed out black pants, but you think that added to the charm. You folded up the clothes Jaehyun offered the night before on top of the washing machine in the bathroom, slowly opening the door into the hallway once more. 

It smelled of maple syrup and coffee, and you took a seat at the island in Jaehyun's kitchen as you watched him cook. It was simple breakfast food; bacon, eggs and some rice. You spot the coffeepot brewing, the soft sound of the java hitting the glass pot. Jaehyun seems to have taken a step away from the kitchen to pull on a shirt to wear. 

"Thank you." You whispered softly as he set a plate down in front of you of the food, taking a bite of the bacon. 

Jaehyun smiled at you, taking a seat beside you as he started to eat his meal with you as well. It was silent, save for the water used to make the coffee coming to an abrupt halt. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, not at all. It was comfortable. Like sitting in silence together was comforting enough. 

As soon as you both finished, Jaehyun cleaned up, poured himself a quick cup of coffee after offering — which you respectfully decline, "trying to cut back," you'd joke — and grabbed the bags by the door that you didn't notice earlier. A giant duffle back, and a backpack that looked like it's been through Hell and back, littered with handwriting, even some quips from Mark and Johnny. You joined him in The Heights spacious garage, climbing into the newest Genesis model as he opened the door for you after he shoved his bags into the backseat. 

Throughout the car ride, as his phone connected to Bluetooth and changed through the songs, Jaehyun would grab your hand every once in a while, not paying much attention to it as he drove to the stadium. You didn't bother moving your hand. 

Jaehyun pulled into the back of the stadium, parking his car in some obscure area and helped you out. There were news tabloids, sports enthusiasts and paparazzi everywhere, and you felt your heart racing in your throat. But Jaehyun made quickly to avoid them, pulling you in front of him as he stepped through the door before the cameras started flashing. All you saw before it shut was a blinding flash.

Jaehyun sighed softly, adjusting the bag over his shoulder, "This is where we split off." He whispered.

You felt upset. You spent nearly the last 12 hours with him and for him to split off from you now for who knows how long felt so weird. You could tell you grew attached to him.

"Hey," Jaehyun chuckled, "The game doesn't start until 6:30, you've got the rest of the day to chill." His hand trailed down your arm before he grabbed your hand.

"I know." You chuckled, "I do have some homework I was planning to finish from last night, so I could do that while I wait."

Jaehyun smiled, "Great." He rubbed his thumb against the back of your hand, "Come on, I'll show you where you'll sit when the game starts." He began walking, silently passing you his jacket and let you sit down in the front row of the seats, watching as the field attendants chalked the dirt, and maintained the advertisements against the barriers. 

Jaehyun walked off after you sat down, giving you a wave as he walked off to where he needed to go.

You didn't realize how focused on your schoolwork you were until you felt the cold breeze and the loud chatter of other attendees. The stadium lights were turned on and the field attendants you saw hours ago were no longer there. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat as people push by your legs; unsure whether you should stand up from the chair to let people through or pull them up to your chest. You pulled on the coat Jaehyun had given to you earlier around your shoulders, waiting patiently by yourself for the other three guests to arrive. 

And when they did, you smiled up at them.

"Yo, Y/N, what's up?" Mark gave you a headnod, sitting on a seat only one away from you. Yeri and Johnny followed behind Mark. Your best friend taking the seat right beside you.

Johnny sighed, "You guys are gonna make the tallest, lankiest guy push through you all?" You could tell he wasn't irritated, clearly making a small joke as he stepped over your feet to sit in the seat beside Mark. He sat down with a sigh, adjusting the jacket over his shoulders.

Mark and Johnny shared a quip with one another, Mark sharing a boisterous laugh like he always did. 

Yeri nudged you, smiling sweetly, "So, what have you been doing while waiting for the entertainment to return?" She asked.

You held up your phone, the word document plastered on the screen, "Homework."

"Like always." She sighed, "You look nice."

"Thanks." You smiled, quickly saving the document before you shoved the phone in the pocket of Jaehyun's jacket.

You and the trio all spoke to one another, talking about school, interests and other things to fill the time before you caught sight of the teams walking through their thresholds.

Attendants around you all began to share chants of their respective teams, some going as far to shout out jeering taunts to fans of the away team.

Johnny and Mark seemed familiar with this, standing from their seats and clapping as the teams prepared with their coaches for the game.

You caught sight of Jaehyun laughing, the mit around his hand worn and clearly aging. He looked around the stands, waving to fans before he stopped and glanced at you, giving a small wave and shy smile. 

The crowd exploded with a loud cheer after he waved at you, and the teams were off.

☆

A little over four hours later, the Sentinels had yet another win under their belt. Johnny and Mark were critiquing the plays made by both teams, while you and Yeri were busy trying to understand what the hell was happening in real time. It was different for the both of you when you were watching the plays in real time without any type of commentary or slow-mo videos to show the play. 

The wind picked up during the middle of the game and you were thankful Jaehyun gave you his jacket. Although, you weren't thankful for the wind sending a foul ball straight into the barrier net to keep the audience members safe. You could feel your heart racing, turning to laugh with Yeri, who was also frightened.

As soon as the game came to an end, everyone filed out of their seats, making there way to food stands or tailgates in the parking lot, where fans celebrated the Sentinels victory. Johnny, Mark, Yeri and yourself opted to waiting by the locker room for Jaehyun to walk out.

You held Jaehyun's coat over your arm, playing with your fingers as you waited. Mark and Johnny were having their own conversation while Yeri stood beside you, doing some complex edit to the photo she took with you and the boys to post on her Instagram story. 

"Dude, I'm hungry!" Mark complained, leaning his head back against the wall, rubbing his stomach.

Johnny snorted, "Yeah, I bet you want that stadium hot dog."

Mark gave his usual chortle, hitting Johnny's arm in a playful way, "Shut the hell up, dude." He spoke through his laughe. 

Yeri leaned against the wall beside you, sighing, "Yeah, I'm hungry, too. I haven't had stadium nachos in years."

"Yeri, the last time you've had stadium nachos was at school at the football game last week." You teased, locking your phone as you looked at her. 

"Well, it feels like years." She mumbled, looking at Mark, "Wanna come with me?"

You could see Mark's eyes light up, nodding his head rapidly, "Yeah, yeah, let's go."

Johnny kicked off the wall, his hands shoved into his jacket pockets, "I might as well come, too. Don't want you two to get lost." He looked at you quickly, "Wanna come, Y/N?"

"No, I'm okay. I ate before I came." You smiled softly, "You guys go eat. I'll wait for Jaehyun so he doesn't think we ditched him." You waved them off.

Yeri held up her phone, "Well, text me if you want anything."

You nodded your head, waving to them as they walked away before you leaned back against the wall as you pulled out your phone to occupy the short amount of time. 

You were invested in the random video of how fossils were formed, blackhead videos, mukbang ASMR, and other interesting videos. And you would've kept watching if you didn't see the last of the team file out of the locker room, save for the dark haired male you came with. You watched the team leave, and you pulled a frown. 

You began to question what was taking him so long, but decided to leave it as it was. It wasn't your concern what was taking him so long. You were a guest.

You looked at the locker room door for a moment longer, and hovered your thumb over the pause button on the video about who knows what — you blocked that information out. And just as you were about to press play, your phone chimed and vibrated.

jaehyun:

no one's in here, if you wanna come in.

so you don't have to wait in the cold.

delivered 1 sec ago

You blushed; for one, it was the men's locker room. And second, you didn't know where your thoughts were going. All you could remember was this morning, where Jaehyun pulled open his front door with just a towel on. You kept the text open for a moment, before you approached the locker room door. You looked both ways three times. One look was too quick. The second, in case any one was approaching. Third, for extra measure. 

Your fingers held onto the handle for a second as you contemplated a little more, the metal handle cold from the breeze drafting through the open stadium. 

You pulled open the door, peeking your head in slowly, "Jaehyun?" You called softly, your voice echoing off the walls, making it seem louder than you intended.

"Over here." Jaehyun responded, and you quickly stepped inside, the squeaking of the hydrolic hinge echoing just as loud as the door latching behind you. Your shoes hit the ground as you stepped in further to find Jaehyun within the maze of lockers. 

And you did find him. He stood by a locker, a black Sentinels branded towel hanging low around his waist. It's clearly not like you haven't seen him shirtless, let alone half-naked. You saw both visuals this morning. But it was the fact his hair dripped drops of water down his back, over his shoulders, even down his face. The fact his back and arms were so muscular. And the very obvious fact that beside the towel, he wore nothing at all.

Jaehyun turned around briefly, chuckling, "Hey." He whispered softly.

"Hi."

He smiled to himself at your small voice, using his hand to keep the towel around his hips. He seemed... shy? More shy than you've grown accustomed to. You were thinking that it was definitely because of the circumstances of where his clothes were. He cleared his throat, "Hey, I just... uh," He started, grabbing your hand in his own and stepping a little closer to you, "I wanted to say thank you for coming to see the game." He squeezed your hand in his own, smiling shyly, "It's the first time I've actually had so many people come see me. Uh, in terms of VIP."

"I'm glad I could come, too." You smiled back, "I had fun. Plus, it was nice to see an actual baseball game in person, and not on a television." You tilted your head to the side as you thought, "Although, I didn't expect that many grown men to get excited when you waved."

Jaehyun laughed, "Yeah, they can get pretty excited." He smiled, "But, I think that kiss you gave me this morning gave me the good luck I thought it would."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He chuckled, glancing away for a quick second, "Does that mean I get that victory kiss you were talking about?" He asked softly, the hand that held his towel tightly was released, cupping your cheek with it. "You said you'd consider it."

You laughed, kissing his lips softly. 

Two days. Two days of electric tension bubbling between you guys was finally boiling over the top as you both kissed. You could tell Jaehyun was kind enough to act as the gentleman he always was for these two days, but from the way his hands wandered as you both moved your lips in sync was enough to tell you that he was desperate to touch you, to claim you as his own.

At first, he had one hand against your cheek, then both hands resting on your hips, then before you knew it, Jaehyun's hands trailed down your legs, and guided them around his waist as he lifted you up effortlessly and seated you on his lap as he sat on the bench in the middle of the floor. Jaehyun's lips never stopped moving against your own, his thumb rubbing your thigh through your pants as you straddled his hips.

Jaehyun parted from the kiss momentarily, glancing at your face as your lips grew swollen from the kiss. His hands moved from your thighs and found their way under your shirt, his thumb brushing against the skin of your stomach. "You look amazing." He whispered, placing open-mouthed kisses against your neck. 

You rested your hand against his neck as he kissed yours, your other brushing your fingers against his arm; over the veins you admired the night before, over the carpal boss of his wrist before he intertwined his fingers with your own again. Jaehyun's hips pressed against your own as his chest did the same with your own. 

"Jaehyun." You whispered softly, squeezing his hand in his own.

Despite the gentle whisper, Jaehyun had no intentions proceeding without anything more, pressing his lips to your shoulder through the fabric of your shirt, "Hm?" He hummed out, pulling away slightly to look at you, "What's wrong?"

"I just didn't think we'd share a moment like this in the locker room." You chuckled shyly, looking at him, "Not that I'm complaining, it's kinda hot, but..."

Jaehyun cupped your chin, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, "I understand." He whispered, "How about this? I'll get dressed and then we can head back to my place — or yours, I'm okay with either."

You nodded softly, climbing off his lap and sitting on the bench while he stood up to get dressed. He pulled on his briefs with the towel around his waist, loosening it to throw over his head and dry his hair. 

You looked around the locker room to avoid getting caught staring, admiring the red and black walls, the Sentinels logo in the center of the wall. You over analyzed every detail; how crooked the logo was, how some of the red bled into the black, even how there were smudges of paint left on the lockers. Maybe you were being a bit too critical; after all, you weren't an artist and sometimes mistakes happen. You began to beat yourself up because why would you criticize art if you couldn't even draw a stick figure, let alone a giant logo like the Sentinels had. Maybe you'd take an art class.

When you looked back at Jaehyun, he was dressed in his usual attire, the attire you were most accustomed to. The grey, baggy cargo pants, the black muscle tee, the backwards Sentinels baseball cap. He looks just how you were first introduced to him, and it was comforting. He grabbed his bags and wrapped his arm around your shoulder as he led you out of the locker room.

"Hey! There they are." Johnny called, a half eaten corn dog held in his hand, "We were looking everywhere for you two."

Yeri held the paper boat of nachos in her hand as she gave you a knowing look, biting into a cheese and jalapeño covered chip.

Mark breathed heavily, "I ran around the entire stadium looking."

Jaehyun chuckled, shaking his head, "You guys didn't have to do that." He smiled, "Well, we're gonna head out."

"Why don't we get something to drink as celebration?" Johnny suggested, taking a bite of the corn dog.

"Sorry. Have plans." Jaehyun shrugged, guiding you past the three of them. 

Yeri took another bite of her nachos, "Wear protection!" She called, more so to you than Jaehyun, or at least you think so.

"Dude, ew!" Mark's laugh echoed off the walls as you and Jaehyun walked off.

Jaehyun was on a mission trying to get you both to the car so you both could get out of there and relieve some sexual tension. Not only did he have to deal with some of the teammates of him stopping him, he also had to deal with team managers, coaches, and some fans of him that were begging for autographs and photos; which he gladly accepted, because he wouldn't be anything without the people who supported him. That continued the whole entire way as you both walked to the back of the stadium where he parked earlier in the morning. 

Jaehyun slowly peeked out of the door before he closed it as soon as he opened it, "Here." He whispered, swinging the backpack to his side and pulled out some sunglasses, "There's gonna be a lot of cameras flashing, so wear these and only look straight ahead." 

You nodded, pulling on the sunglasses. Jaehyun grabbed your hand in his own, and slowly opened the door again, guiding you out with him. And that's when you understood what Jaehyun meant; the flashes of the cameras were speeding in at one per second. Jaehyun was used to it, but you definitely weren't. He gave a nod, a wave, even a handshake to paparazzi, keeping you close to his side. There was a security guard that helped you both make way to the car. You wondered how so many people were able to obey one security guard, let alone with that many people.

The car was inches away from you both, Jaehyun's fingers grazing the handle to the passenger side door, helping you inside. 

"Jaehyun, is that your girlfriend?" A paparazzi shouted, continuing to take pictures, most likely blurry from the nudging and shoving from other paparazzi. Since when did athletes have the same amount of paparazzi as superstars. 

Jaehyun shut the door, giving you a smile as he shoved the bags into the backseat, "Yeah, she is." He responded to the paparazzi, shutting the door and let the security guard guide him to the driver's side. The security even went as far to check under, on top and inside the car's backseat. 

Once the security gave the go ahead, Jaehyun pulled out of the car lot, his hand immediately finding your own. 

"Sorry about that." He said, making his way back towards his place.

"Oh, it's okay." You took off the sunglasses he gave you, holding them by the nose bridge as you folded the arms, "I feel sorry you have to deal with that. No wonder you drive a Honda." You smiled.

Jaehyun laughed, "I meant saying you were my girlfriend." He glanced at you, pausing the music on his phone, "It's easier to say that than explaining we're in a talking stage, you know?"

"It's fine." You glanced at his side profile, "I know what you mean." You mumbled, "I don't mind. Being considered your girlfriend, I mean." You smiled to yourself.

Jaehyun smirked, squeezing your hand, "You sure about that?"

"Yeah."

Jaehyun nodded, playing the music to fill the silence. The music playing varied between The Weeknd, Lloyd, and even some underground artists you had no clue existed. But the one variation that they all had in common was that they were heavy intented with sexual innuendos and sexual tension. You have no idea if Jaehyun made a playlist with these types of songs or if they just happened to be playing on shuffle back to back. But either way, they were definitely setting the mood. 

Jaehyun pulled into the roundabout, grabbing his bags before passing his spare car keys to the valet and helped you out of the vehicle. 

"Why don't you park it yourself?" You questioned, reaching for the strap of Jaehyun's backpack and throwing it over your shoulders. You were genuinely curious, glancing up at him.

Jaehyun shrugged, "I don't know. They only allow employees out there. I guess it's the luxury part of the apartments." He guided you inside and to the elevator, clicking the floor button that you memorized from this morning.

You chuckled, "Do you like living here?"

"It's nice. But, I'm not much of a big house guy. I've never been interested in it." He leaned against the railing of the elevator, the duffle bag between his legs as you stood in front of him.

"So, why get a giant apartment?"

Jaehyun shrugged, "The commissioner of the team paid the lease if I agreed to join the Sents." He glanced down at his hands, "But, I'd much rather having a nice little apartment."

The elevator rung and stalled to a stop as you both reached the hallway, your hands never leaving one another's as he guided you to his door.

You felt the butterflies grow in your stomach, your heart beating in your throat and your hands clam up. Was now a bad time to say you can't remember the last time you've had sex? You really don't understand why you're feeling so nervous all of a sudden, you were both having a great conversation in the car and now, you felt like you were about to throw up.

Jaehyun pushed open the door, setting the duffel bag on the ground under the upholstered bench at the entryway, kicking off his shoes. You followed, setting the backpack down beside the bench and neatly placed your shoes next to his. You were trying to buy time to settle the butterflies in your chest by rearranging the shoes a little bit. And when you stood up, you gasped when you felt Jaehyun's hand on your own, once again. 

"If you're too nervous, we don't have to continue." He spoke in that soft voice, the same one you grew accustomed to since the night before. "I'm nervous myself."

You took a deep breath, sighing softly, "I'm nervous but... I want this."

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes."

Jaehyun stepped closer, your back pressed against the front door, he cupped your chin, his thumb brushing your bottom lip, "Can I kiss you? Is that okay?"

You nodded your head, "You don't have to ask."

Jaehyun kissed you — feverishly. Like a man starved, he pressed you against the door and kissed you like any man would with the woman they love. You felt his hands wandering again, squeezing your hips before wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you closer to him. 

His tongue found its way into your mouth, rubbing against yours. You could feel him through his pants, and he was hard. You so desperately wanted to touch him, but you didn't want to cross a boundary he might not like, so you settled for kissing him back as feverishly as he was.

A gentle groan escaped his lips as you pressed against him, a whispered "fuck" breathed into your mouth. He tapped his fingers against your thigh, silently telling you to jump up, which you obliged. He steadied you with the arm around your waist, and guided your legs around his hips as he held you effortlessly.

"You okay with moving this to the bedroom, baby?" He spoke with a gravelly voice, his lips swollen from the kiss. You felt the butterflies grow in your stomach again, your heart racing, and your panties growing wetter as he looked at you with those gentle, yet dominant eyes. You couldn't help yourself but nod.

Jaehyun smiled, carrying you over to the bedroom, crawling onto the bed and resting you on his lap as he continued to kiss at your skin, his lips trailing along your jaw, neck and shoulder. "Do you wanna continue?"

You nodded, your hand running through his hair, "I do."

Jaehyun smiled, pressing soft kisses across your face, "Okay, baby." He placed one soft kiss against your lips, adjusting his position so you were laying back on the bed, and he was between your legs. He reached over to the bedside table, pulling out a condom and looking at you softly, "Open it for me?" He chuckled.

You grabbed the packet and tore it open with your teeth, passing it to him, "Expecting a lot of play?" You teased, motioning to the box of condoms.

Jaehyun smiled, shaking his head, "Only if you want to." He nudged your leg playfully, "And I'm hoping after this, you're the only one I fuck."

You bit your bottom lip, smiling sweetly, "I haven't had any complaints yet." 

He set the condom off to the side, skillfully unbuttoning your bottoms and pulled them off your legs, throwing them off to the side.

"Oh, my—" You mumbled.

"I'll buy you a new one." He whispered, his hands pulling off his shirt, "Anything you need, I'll get it for you." His shirt was the second piece of fabric added to the growing pile of clothing, his hands pulling off your own shirt, "You're so pretty." He whispered breathlessly, "You don't understand how hard it was to keep my hands off you." 

"You shouldn't have." You smile softly, brushing your fingers through his hair as he kissed at your collarbone.

"I'll keep that in mind." Jaehyun's breath fanned against your chest, and he looked up at you, "You're so beautiful. I was hypnotized when I first saw you in person, I swear."

You laughed, "Did Mark push you to come pour my drink?"

"No, I took that initiative myself." He smiled, his fingers tangling in the waistband of your panties, "I was sick of waiting." He chuckled.

And you were sick of waiting. It's two days of complete sexual tension and it was almost painful waiting for anything more to happen. You can't remember the last time you had this much sexual tension with someone, let alone the last time someone desired you this bad.

"Jaehyun..." You whispered out, as he pressed kisses to your hip bone, "Please, I can't wait anymore."

He smiled, pressing a soft kiss to your hip once more, "You can't wait anymore?" He teased, "I spent months fantasizing about this, and you can't wait anymore?" He hummed.

"You know what I mean." You whined, feeling your cheeks blush as you leaned your head back against the pillows.

"Okay, okay, baby. I guess I shouldn't keep you waiting any longer." His dimples imprinted his cheeks, sitting up from between your legs and grabbed the condom from beside him, "You've been patient and I appreciate that." He dipped his hand into the waistband of his pants, his cock resting in his hand as he rolled the condom on, slowly pumping himself in his hand, "Fuck, look what you do to me, baby."

You wrapped your legs around his hips, using the heel of your foot to pull him closer to your heat.

Jaehyun's hand pressed against the pillow you laid on top of, guiding the tip of his cock into you, slowly pressing into you, "Oh, fuck..."

"Oh my god..." You whispered out, tangling your fingers through his hair as he pressed his chest against yours, pressing open mouthed kisses to your neck.

"I'm gonna start moving, baby."

"Mmhmm..."

Jaehyun slowly began thrusting into you, the tip of his cock pressing against your sweet spot, your toes curling and fingers tightening on the hair on the back of his head. Jaehyun's long eyelashes brushed against your jawline as he continued to press soft kisses on your neck, "So soft, so pretty." He whispers against you skin, his tongue wetting the plain, gently sucking.

Gasping, you rolled his hips up against his, "Jae," Your words come out shaky, the heat moving from your cunt up to your ears.

"Sensitive there?" He whispered, nibbling on the skin, his hand moving from your cheek to press between you two to rub his index and middle finger along your clit. 

"Fuck!" 

Jaehyun chuckled, "You're so wet, princess." He smiled, his hips continuing to press into your own, "God, I imagined how pretty you'd look underneath me for so long." His cock twitched against your walls, a moan escaping his lips, "Feels so good... Could keep fucking you forever."

The words you wanted to speak disappeared just as quickly as they appeared, listening to your thoughts echo Jaehyun as he continued to press into you. Silent babbles were occupied with whines and moans, clenching down on his dick as he moved. "Jae, Jae,"

"I gotcha, baby. I'm right here." He whispered softly, rubbing your legs, "Jae's right here."

You groaned as Jaehyun grabbed your hips, guiding you along his length, "So good..." You whined.

"I know, baby. Like you were made for me." Whispering in your ear, Jaehyun's fingers found their way to your clit once more, flicking it gently, "A pretty, soaking wet pussy just for my dick."

You jolt slightly as Jaehyun flicked you clit, a heat wave washing over your body as it blushed, simultaneously, goosebumps covered your skin from Jaehyun's words.

Jaehyun smiled softly, whispering sweet nothing against your ear, "So tight. It feels so good."

"Fuck, Jaehyun...." You whispered out, your throat straining as you attempted to speak.

Jaehyun's fingers worked against your clit, continuing the same pace of his hips, "Does it feel good, baby?" 

The words he whispered were enough to make your pussy jump, nodding your head. Glancing down at the bulge of your stomach, you couldn't help the moan escape your throat, "Oh, fuck." 

Jaehyun groaned, his hand lingering on your hip, "Look at you..." He whispered, more to himself, "Wanna fuck you everyday."

Jaehyun's voice was hoarse, his eyes staring into your own. He leaned closer, kissing your lips in contrast to the brutal pounding of his hips. He hummed against your lips, sliding his tongue between your lips and rubbed his own against yours. 

Jaehyun pulled away for a moment, looking at you, "Can I taste you, princess?"

It was a question you honestly couldn't refuse. You nodded your head, whining softly at his exit but allowed him to continue to kiss down your body, his breath fanning against your wet cunt.

Licking his lips, Jaehyun hummed softly at the white cream around your hole, "Shit..." He whispered out, pressing soft kisses against your sensitive clit.

"Jae!" You yelped as his lips pressed against you, blushing softly as another wave of heat covered your core.

Jaehyun smiled, the dimples on his cheeks making an appearance before he delved into you, his tongue licking your hole, savoring the flavor. 

You gasped softly and let your hands immediately slip through his hair, feeling the soft strands tickle the inside of your wrist. 

He was eating you out like a man starved, his fingers pressing into you as his lips and tongue danced with one another against your pussy. Jaehyun's eyes closed as he continued to thrust his fingers into you and taste you against his tongue, the cold of the ring around his finger soothing the burn of your body.

You could only handle so much more as he curled his fingers into you, gasping and whining as he teased the spongey spot inside you. Your pussy fluttered around his fingers, moaning softly, "Ri- Right there, Jae."

Jaehyun's fingers continued to rub against the spot, his tongue lapping up all your juices that dribbled onto his fingers like it was juice rolling down his hand. 

Your pussy sobbed as he continued tasting you and teasing you, feeling the warm coil break in your stomach, the creamy cum coating every line of his hand, covering the silver ring that pressed against your hole and leaving a white ring around the base of his fingers.

"Fuck," he whispered against you clit, moaning softly as he slowly moved his fingers inside you, "That was hot."

You whined shyly as he continued to press into your heat, his fingers never moving from the spot inside you, "Keep moving your fingers like that, and I'll cum again."

Jaehyun smiled, "I'm always up for a challenge." He teased, kissing your thigh, "Only if you are."

You blushed softly; how could resist such an invitation? You were so out of practice that you were out of breath only after cumming once, you had to at least repay the favor.

"Can I suck your cock?" You asked gently, sitting up on your elbows.

Jaehyun chuckled softly, moving his fingers out of your cunt, "Do you want to?"

You used this chance to adjust your position and lay across his lap, your mouth salivating at the sight of his cock, covered in the clear condom. You looked up at him with shy eyes, nodding your head.

"You gotta say it, baby." He whispered, his fingers brushing against your cheek.

"I wanna." You mumbled, entangling your fingers with his own.

Jaehyun smiled, leaning forward to peck your forehead, "Good girl." He whispered in your ear, "Go ahead." He guided you with his words, letting you roll the condom off his cock and kiss at the red cherry colored tip. A groan parted his lips as he settled his hand against your head. He didn't push, he just used it as silent praise, letting you take your own pace with what you were doing.

Yet, his hand on the back of your head almost gave you the motivation to do more; You wrapped your lips around his cock, slowly bobbing along the length, using your tongue to tease the slit of his cock. Your hand moved downward, rubbing against his sack, listening to his whines as you sucked him off.

Jaehyun glanced down at you, using his hands to move your hair away from your face and wrap it gently around his hand, "You're gorgeous." He whispered, as he admired your lips turning a swollen red, your flushed cheeks, your pretty fingers rubbing against him and your eyes lidded as you savored him on your tongue. 

Looking up at him through your lashes, you moaned at the praise, tasting the pre-cum leaking against your tongue. Pulling away with a thin string of saliva keeping you both connected as you took the moment to pump him in your hand, the pre-cum oozing from his slit.

"Fuck," Jaehyun leaned in closer, pressing his lips against yours to taste himself against your tongue, "You're so pretty." He moaned as your hand continued to move against his member.

You smiled softly, "You're not too bad looking yourself." You smiled, "Taste good too."

Jaehyun smiled softly, soft whimpers leaving his lips as you wrapped yours back around the cock head. Your finger traced the vein on the underside of his cock, drool dripping from your lips down his girth.

"Shit, f-fuck," He whined, "So close, baby. Keep going."

Listening to Jaehyun's sounds was enough to encourage you to continue until his muscles tensed, heavy pants escaping his throat. The taste of Jaehyun's cum against your tongue was like a hunger that you weren't aware you had sated. You had the taste linger on your tongue as you pulled away from his cock, swallowing the thick release.

"God, baby..." Heavy breaths, messy (but still insanely perfect) hair and flushed cheeks only suited him more, "That was perfect."

You smiled, laying back on the bed as you soak up the compliments.

Jaehyun lay beside you, wrapping his arm around your waist as he placed soft kisses against your neck, jawline, cheek.

You both continued to cuddle, letting Jaehyun fawn over you as you laid with one another until either of you fell asleep. You didn't mind being doted on. It was kinda nice.

copyright © 2024 thewonandonly. all rights reserved.

[makethemhoesmad]

liability(pt. 3)

pt 1. pt 2

only a couple months late, but here it is!!

i’m thinking there will be one more part, hopefully coming sooner

thanks to @imaginespazzi, @azzibuckets, @patscorner, and @barbspeaks for dealing with my copious amounts of yap

—

“it’s for the better,” paige says, for the third time. the first two times, she’d whispered it to herself, trying to make herself believe that it was true. now, she said it to nika, who had witnessed azzi’s erratic flight to and from paige’s place, and wanted to know what had happened.

“thats what she said? verbatim?” nika questions. that’s not the azzi she knows. the azzi she knows is the one that would fight, tooth and nail, to keep her and paige together. that, even if they were separated for years, decades, lifetimes, she would be determined to find her way back.

“yes, nika i told you it was crazy. i announce that im staying another year to play with the people i love and.. oh.” paige breathes out the last word, tucking her head into her hands as she realizes something.

“what, paige? why’d you say oh?” nika inquires.

“she thinks i should have left,” paige murmures, standing up. she begins to pace the room, speaking quickly to what seemed to be only herself, forgetting nika was even there.

“she must think that i’m wasting my career by staying here, she must think that it’s her fault and that she’s the one ‘ruining my career’ in her mind. typical azzi. she’s on a spiral right now, she’ll come down, probably. probably.” the last statement seems to bring paige back to reality, and tears start to well up in her eyes. she looks to nika, sniffling and asking, “how am i supposed to make her see that she’s not, and never will be a liability.

~

in another room on the same campus, yet somehow seeming miles away, azzi is alone in her room, curled up under her blanket that still smells like paige, in paige’s hoodie and paige’s sweatpants. she’s giving herself only tonight to grieve for what she killed, and then she’s going to try and move on. that’s what she keeps telling herself, to justify the way she’s sobbed on and off all night. she’s about to start another round when she hears a loud knocking on her door. grudgingly, she sits up and trudges out of her room, opening up the door.

“paige, what are you doing here?” azzi gasps, even though she knows full well why exactly paige has just knocked on her door a mere five hours after their breakup. 

“az, we’re still teammates. we have practice in two hours i don’t want you to ever think that you’re holding me back. i’m doing this because i love you, but also because im doing this for me.” paige says, her eyes glistening. azzi wants to take her back, right there. but she shouldn’t, she can’t. so instead, she says something she’s sure to regret.

“you know, paige, if you had just stayed healthy, this wouldn’t have been a problem.”

paige recoiled at azzi’s words, shocked at the harshness in her voice and the statements she made. in a moment of what she will eventually remember to be nothing but complete stupidity, she fires back.

“damn, i mean, if you hadn’t insisted on continuing to play after you fucked up your knee, you might’ve been able to figure it out instead of hurting it worse.”

“don’t do that, paige.” azzi says, her face going scarlet. “you do this when you get mad, hurt people’s feelings and don’t mean it.”

“i could say the same about you, azzi. we’ve played almost zero games together, and that’s the reason i wanted you here in the first place. it’s almost like i want to play basketball with my girlfriend, you know?” 

“ex girlfriend,” azzi corrects quickly. she slams her teeth together, trying to trap the words back into her throat. why did she need to correct her so quickly?

“so that’s what we’re playing at, then? we’re playing pretend? we’re gonna sit here and we’re gonna act like we haven’t lived in each other’s skins for five years? our families are best friends, azzi. we can’t lose all that because you got insecure”

and azzi doesn’t know how to answer that. she doesn’t have a rebuttal, doesn’t have a defense or a witness. it’s just her, her thoughts, and her now seemingly unexplainable reasoning to break up with paige. right now, really all she wants to do is fall into paige’s arms and cry until she feels better, because paige always makes it better. something tells her that paige might not want to hold her, right now, though. so instead, she takes a deep breath, firmly points towards her door, and demands, “out.”

ironically, if azzi had in fact just thrust herself it paige’s arms, they’d probably be reunited right now. but instead, paige is standing outside azzis apartment door, debating whether to speed home and put on her gym clothes and wait for azzi to leave for practice outside her door, or corner her after practice. corner her, paige thought, speed walking to her car and grinning.

[logicalbeanie]

Okay. Hear me out. This is gonna be very rambly.

Daredevil Persona AU.

Matt and Foggy in their college years so while its a little late we still kinda have the ‘rebellion against adults, taking justice into your own hands’ theming. The plot points of Fisk and other main arcs of the show are moved up years in advance (because I said so and this is my AU) so it’s during college but with them infiltrating palaces instead of irl vigilanteism.

And instead of having the people with personae on the team just be the other new york vigilantes and have like, foggy and karen be confidants, the team starts with Matt and Foggy, I guess sorta like Akiren and Ryuji. However, other DD characters also show up and meet them early, IE Karen and Claire, maybe Brett.

Josie and her bar is a confidant location.

Note: I have not finished the first daredevil show (i think im on episode 7) i’m 1 episode behind on Born Again cause i’ve been watching the first show, and have only read a bit of the comics. But I do have a good amount of spoilers via reading way too much fanfiction very very quickly.

Basically I don’t want as much focus placed on the other new york vigilantes making up the rest of the group. We’ll see which ones I decide to put in depending on what people say and how I feel as I watch more, this is mostly gonna be show inspired.

In terms of ‘is Matt a wildcard?’ yes and no, I went back and forth on this for hours. He’s not a full wildcard like Akiren is with the dozens of personas and ability to recruit others, but I guess more like Akechi where he had two for each side of himself, the day and night, but unlike robinhood which sort of turned out to be fake, he just has the two right from the get-go and thats about it.

Note 2: I’ve only played P5 and never actually quite finished it but do have all the spoilers as to the rest of the plot, I should go back and finish the game.

Matt would wind up in a palace first and maybe do one or two by himself, getting very beat up in the process, all while lying to Foggy, so we still have that hiding vigilante activities then reveal fight. But instead of the boyfriends breaking up, Foggy finds out by ending up in like, palace 2 or 3 with Matt and awakening his Persona.

On the note of the persona, he has Lucifer and Themis, who do Ei and Kou skills respectively, and no dia skills, cause he’s an idiot and is bad at taking care of himself, as we all know, no idea how he survives the first couple palaces he does alone.

For Foggy, I have no idea which main skill to give him, but he definitely is able to use Dia skills to help take care of Matt and make sure he doesn’t get himself killed. I feel like Karen would be garu though, Marci zio or frei. Elektra is there, but betrays them or dies, I dont know I haven’t gotten enough info on her yet most of what I’ve got is from fanfic but I generally hate her from what I have so far. So she fills like, sort of an Akechi role I guess.

Persona Ideas/ Team List So Far, might be too on the nose, also includes the transformation upgrade:

Agi (fire) Claire

Bufu (ice)

Garu (wind) Karen

Zio (electricity)

Kou (bless) Matt

Ei (curse) Matt Again

Frei (nuclear) Marci

Psi (psychokinesis) Elektra

Matt: Themis - Ichnaea, Lucifer - Satan (not the same as Akirens Satanael design, imma make a new one) | Ei, Kou

Foggy: | ,Dia

Karen: Detective Kate(or Warne) - Katherine Warne |Garu

Claire: Asclepius - Hepius | Agi, Dia (agi cause like, son of apollo, sun, fire, yeah)

Marci: | Frei

Brett |

Elektra: Nemesis - Rhamnousia | Psi (not sure about nemesis for Elektra, if anyone has a better idea let me know)

Gonna be frank I love Kate Warne for Karen, best idea ive had this whole ramble.

I have zero ideas for Foggy, Marci, and Brett’s personae, if anyone has any ideas, please say so.

A part of me is kind of tempted to either A, put this AU in a bubble and ignore most of the rest of the MCU and just kick daredevil and anything too closely associated with it to cut off around, or B, have this AU still exist in the MCU so the ‘regular’ superheros and vigilantes are just like ‘what the fuck is going on over there??? metaverse??? human subconcious???? what???’

Also, on top of that, their powers and sick fits are, to some degree, able to exist outside the metaverse, I’d have to find them again, but there were some amazing P5 fics that played with that kind of concept and they were so fun. It’d probably start with accidental skill usage and having to learn how to use those, until theyre able to summon the fits and persona in reality.

Note 3: We are not fucking around with the consequences of nuclear radiation with marci doing shit, I just dont wanna deal with the ramifications of that, so its gonna manifest moreso as like, small explosions, non radioactive explosions, or like, breaking things, shockwaves? I just dont wanna have to consider the ramifications on this one dude.

I am trying to hard to vibe check Foggy to figure out which skill works for him, but im drawing a blank, also Brett but I care less. kou and ei definitively taken by matt, psi definitively taken by elektra, agi definitively taken by claire, if marci is gonna move its gonna definitely be to zio, karen is very moveable from garu, go from there, i am open to ideas.

Should I add a Morgana esque little animal who can give exposition? are there any in the comics that would fit the bill? Cause in P5 they get pretty much all their information from Morgana, how do they know whats happening in this otherwise? Does Matt, in stumbling through the first 2 palaces alone, just pick stuff up overtime from eavesdropping and listening to villain monologues, until by the time foggy joins he sort of knows what’s happening and can explain it?

[loaisacult]

Hi, i saw your post and wanted to address the talking points. Firstly thank you for speaking out against all the fakers and scammers in this community! It is very much possible to fall into despair and give your life away to the tumblr fakers if you are not careful enough.

Now i am not saying LOA is not real, manifestation is completely real but there is no definite answer i can give how it works, it just does. I have personally gone through a spiritual awakening and thats only the cornerstone of my beliefs no matter how much loa/loa2/magick comes up. Its completely different from realization to discovering it on tiktok. Ik fellow shifters, shifter who arent in this community or anywhere found because they live their lives, here or elsewhere. Shifting is real, even reincarnation is real. But dont waste your time on throwing in on the void and ignoring your personal life. Tumblr and other platforms, and just the internet in general has soo much quantity of information, it makes it hard. Algorithms are designed to keep you engaged and show what you want to see. Obviously, everyone wants to make money, so they will cheat, deceive, lie and scam. Its up to u to decide what you want to consume. Being in this environment is very niche and it can get overwhelming because the nature of this topic is very very elastic and fluid. It is not structured like science or mathematics where you can find a concrete solution from a definitive problem, there are too many gray areas and it is relatively new. This information is guarded by the top and we have a very filtered versions of it. No wonder we struggle. Also people who charge money for this?! horrendous, please dont fall for this, it will not help in any way (obv exceptions are there but i think the majority is a scam, because in the end, all the effort falls on you and they can blame you. Take for example, going to a educational coaching classes where its ruthless and they take exhorbitant amounts of money in name of getting you the best quality of education whereas in reality they are gonna dump massive data on you (like videos/posts) and then tell you to follow and study, if you fail, its because you didnt try hard enough. SEE?! I have personally been here for years and it was not good as a young, naive and suicidal kiddo who was looking for a way out, esp during lockdown. I thought that i would shift away and forget all of this, but this is running away from life and standing still in front of death. Its useless, i learnt it the hard way, the period of my life immediately after lockdown was hell, because i was so deep in delulu world that it worsen the state of my external world here. Im not a perfect being here telling but the major thing i realised is that i have to led my life the best possible way, with my efforts and even with the help of manifestation. I trust subliminals forever though. it works like a gem. I, too saw so many of trump-shifting lmao, but its not a joke for some... I think most of us delulu girls think that future is gonna be better than the present, id argue start now. go the gym now, study now, work now, all these habits culminate over time and you should definetly meditate as this whole loa-magick-manifesting is highly spiritual, and find your own way of manifesting than coming here. I will not put my life on hold just to focus on the void again, i have wasted months on it and ik some are gonna say, you didnt do it right enough blah blah. But im gonna crave out my own path, idc it might not look like urs but im too stubborn to let go and i want a good life for myself and my loved ones. This is taking responsibility for your life. I am making a better life for myself in all 360 ways I can.

Yes. Loa is real shifting and the void state although I recommend researching them as shift = quantum jumping and the void state = zero point state or in Hinduism = Turiya state and while you do so also make sure you life is not going to shit because life being a hypothetical illusion doesn’t change the fact everything is real and suffer the prince of consequences under this “illusion”

[hana-bobo-finch]

Can’t believe I talk about Domitone so little considering I’m pretty sure she was the first part of pdbc I actually introduced on here………..anyway this should make up for it (MORE SLOPPY DOODLE PAGES + DISJOINTED YAPPING YAYYYYY)

i loves her oiugghhhgh……my little vessel for world building. the scraps of world building that are there because as you can see a vast majority of history has been erased and she is not having a good time over it. I’ve been thinking more about PDBC post the main story (if you could call it a story really lmao) and she’s been at the forefront of all that because she’s essentially the main character for the very short amount of time after almost everyone else dies/mysteriously disappears/avoids the public eye because they’ve had enough of Everything for a lifetime. in short she becomes a college professor to try to fix the field that she had such a horrible time in as a college student and document all of the. stuff she saw. but Uh Oh turns out that’s impossibly difficult as well because nobody believes her even though she has loads of evidence because it seems “farfetched.” she literally risked her life to witness a historic fight with numerous casualties but the future generations just look at her footage and first hand accounts and say “hmmm no I don’t think so this seems unrealistic. I think the footage was doctored”. There will be More about her soon because I’m working on some in-universe documents she authored about the events of the story written in retrospect (e.g. discussing the. bad. treatment of the bug people compared to recent years) (YES THATS RIGHT THE BUG PEOPLE (later renamed the furin-Insectoids or just Insectoids because the term bug-person was later seen as outdated) DO GET RIGHTS, EVEN IF ITS DECADES LATER YAYYYYY) DOMITONE ILYSM

also 🫵🫵🫵The Language 🫵🫵gonna yap so much about it get ready. I don’t think I’ve ever talked about it, and if I have it was extremely brief and probably very outdated, but there is in fact an archaic language that used to be spoken on Fincg island before it was. You know. Called that and thusly run into the ground by an incompetent egomaniac. The language fell out of use because its lack of sound grammatical rules and its limited vocabulary made it confusing and difficult to follow in more complex sentences (for example there’s no word for “the,” words can have vastly different meanings and you just kind of have to guess which one is meant, there are no pronouns except for “it” so again you just have to guess what the “it” is referring to (would be awesome if that was how it was irl actually zero gender norms everyone is an it)), so it was phased out and turned into the current spoken language (which does not currently have a name yayyyy for iffy worldbuilding). The original language’s name is technically Dailea/Dailish (directly translates to “all encompassing words”) but most people don’t know it actually has a name so they just call it The Language. Very few people actually speak it because it was made illegal, and on top of that a majority of the words and phrases have been lost, so the only way to actually speak it is to spend innumerable years trying to find every remaining word and piece it back together a word at a time. Although speaking Dailish is illegal, the inscriptions on currency are written in Dailish because who cares about rules. Most currency has the phrase “thas padai con enta Muzas” which roughly translates to “we will pierce through the hearts of the gods.” Dailish also has its own alphabet as you can see, which is also flawed and confusing because there’s no letter R, R and V are essentially the same letter in Dailish so again, good luck figuring out if that symbol is meant to represent a V or and R because that could make a huge difference in meaning. Even if you do manage to learn Dailish it’s very limited and you have to use a lot of euphemisms to get your point across. A lot of the phrases also are much different to English when translated literally. Just for funsies here is the conversation shown in the comic but translated literally (corresponding English letters used for the Dailish alphabet because obviously I can not type in it here despite making a custom font for it. sad)

“Thasa dalish con torin enn” — “I own a desire to pierce through your physical form”

“Barsil enntori?” — “unobscure the words of your being?”

“Enn” — “yours”

“Flet, thapado Dailea! Prororo enpada Dailish, aste thatori!” “It is true, I am able to perform the all-encompassing language! Fascinating you can person the all-encompassing language, in addition to myself!”

also for those curious the VILE, TOO VIOLENT TO TRANSLATE ARGUMENT basically just consisted of “kys” “no way, you crazed worm”

Also that is not the first or last time finch crashed his car. not by a long shot. Which is extremely concerning because there is literally nobody else on the road and the road is completely straight in all directions how does he keep doing this at a certain point it has to be on purpose right (it is not he is just extremely dangerous behind a wheel please take away his license it’s probably fraudulent anyway)

And 🫵🫵🫵🫵more yapping🫵🫵 I think I’ve only mentioned Toprumo in passing but he was the former ownder of the island, and Favre (who I’ve never mentioned before) was the one before Toprumo. The two of them were generally seen as pushovers who honestly deserved to have their positions usurped by some gourd headed freak because they put so little effort in actually leading but Oh Boy they have skeletons in their closet. The history on the pair is spotty but it’s believed Favre had an army of sorts of thousands that were known as the Disposables, as they were, in his eyes, completely expendable. Despite that he claimed he loved each and every one of his Disposables, in reality Favre saw them as essentially just a human shield at best and his little toy soldiers at worst. It’s believed Toprumo was one of the disposables who rebelled but instead of Actually Rebelling he just became a suck up to Favre to avoid responsibility and thusly inherited the power. It was believed for years that Favre was long dead but He Is Not. Information on the pair is spotty because every piece of history is but it goes without saying that finch does in fact know more about them than he cares to admit. DO NOT ASK HIM ABOUT FAVRE’S DASTARDLY DEVICE. OR THE FLESH POCKET. YKNOW WHAT JUST DONT ASK HIM ABOUT FAVRE IN GENERAL HE DOESNT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT

shoutout to Minerva. they are best buddies let it be known. they hate each other but Lovingly

she’s also in the background in one of the first doodles heckling Domitone because that’s just how she be sometimes. I think I’ve only mentioned Minerva once and she doesn’t really do a whole lot in the main plot but I love her anyway. please someone get her out of this rigid learning environment, she just wants to fuck around and make cookies but she’s been cursed with the good at math and science autism and has to “””have a lucrative career””” or “””help better the world””” or something stupid like that

[pumpkinsy0]

https://www.tumblr.com/pumpkinsy0/783290736707829760/whenever-i-talk-to-someone-about-how-i-dont-rlly

expound pretty please im curious bcs most people who read the book usually really enjoy the themes

ok lets hope i dont anger anyone bc i truly do not wanna argue, plus im kinda shit at explaining what i mean seriously, this isnt ALLLL my thoughts on it im speaking as general as i can, but its good enough for me to say outloud

tldr: i wish the whole “things are rough all over” discussion in the fandom had more nuance than just “we r all human so we should treat each other as such❤️” and ppl who defend the socs didnt immediately assume that u just dont get the book at all or hated the socs or whatever for saying u dont like it, bc truly thats not the kind of message to leave everything at. like i get Y they do it, talking about this can b a slippery slope, especially considering that its cherry who said it and this fandom is weird w female characters, i understand but id like to think we all have good media literacy and r pretty smart!!! if u want to truly fix the issues the book was exploring we need an actual discussion deeper than “just empathize and everything will come after” like what happened in the book, we can criticize the books message a lil bit ESPECIALLY bc its very important in the times we r in rn👍🏽

now☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽i DO agree that things r rough all over we all DO have our own issues HOWEVER COMMA!!!! to sit here and write off/ignore that one group ISNT more vulnerable than the other is being flat out stupid and dangerous. that is not “playing oppression olympics” for pointing it out nor is it “comparing trauma” it is a genuine fact that one of these two groups is being actively harmed and exploited by another, leaving them vulnerable in SOME way.

YES socs go through their own issues im NOTTT saying they dont and u will never find me saying they dont, but the greasers can go through their same exact issues (if not exact they go through it in some other form) AND systemic ones that add on other problems bc everything is quite literally stacked up against them. in fact we HAVE examples of this bc we have BOB and DALLAS as evidence of it!!! both of them exact parallels of having neglectful parents, they both act pretty much the same, but bob was doing it WHILE exploiting the system and u will still see ppl somewhat baby him every which way FOR having shitty parents and then shit on dallas all the time

like im not saying dallas sexually harassing cherry was less important and should b ignored however on the otherrr handdd ppl dont treat bob nearly killing pony and potentially johnny as seriously, this fandom is pretty classist. bob is not treated like a criminal to the degree dallas is in the book (which ok fine u expect that) AND in the fandom, so leaving that lesson of “we all go through shit” alone as is right there, has a part to play in it bc ppl feel they have to defend and excuse the shitty behavior of another rich character bc of what they went through and how it “might get skimped pass, grrrr did u not understand the lesson”

do u see what im saying here😭😭like truly what does arguing THAT solve, idgaf that that perm boy had neglectful parents??????? he tried to kill a poor orphan bc he knew he could get away w it and needed an “outlet”😭😭😭😭ppl use the socs issues and that ONE LINE!!!! W ZERO OF THEIR OWN THINKING PUT INTO IT, to EXCUSE instead of EXPLAIN the actions

lets all imagine there wasnt poor, middle class, and rich for a sec yea. bob is still white, ponys idfk whatever race other than white. bob was going after ppl who r not like him bc its not a secret that he can do things pony cannot do, all the damn time and suffer no consequence from it. if u do not take seriously what bob did, u would INADVERTENTLY b defending this as well (bc a disproportionate amount of poc experience poverty, but even if that wasnt the case, there is no difference between THIS and what actually happened in the book, its the same damn issue both times)

and yknow what my issue w that discussion doesnt rlly lie w the book, more so the fandom bc im not expecting a book written in the 60s by a white woman to have THAT much nuance towards oppression topics, im rlly not, its the fandom i kind of expected to talk deeper w it.

and dontttt take this as me saying the greasers arent also a lil fucked for beating up other ppl thats not right either, but this cycle is happening BC OF ppl who have more money than them pushing them away from having chances of bettering themselves

i understand a theme is supposed to b 1-2 lines-ish, but after the book is done we can form our own thoughts through our own knowledge of history class, a bit of math, and our own experience to expand on it to make sure we arent pushing “small” harmful things

grrrrr i hope u get what im saying here i give up💔💔💔

[glittercoconutbat]

Ignore (long rant)

The dbl community really takes the cake.

Why the hell do y'all act so damn stupid with your cc? Then complain about needing more when a update comes. Y'all will dead ass spend y'all cc the second y'all get anything over 500. But watch. Everyone is going to try to do what Im doing. I know it Because it always happens. Someone is going to see I have 100k+, I tell them my schedule, they try to copy but fail bc they have to summon every banner for no reason.

And yes there are ppl that like to collect all the characters but I'm doing MY OWN personal schedule. I'm not following a yt vid or anything. I only use my cc for frieza only. Nothing else. And no. B4 u say anything. No, I don't care for ranks. Yes ranks can get me a lot but I am content with my schedule. It's simple, not to grindy but enough to keep me satisfied and content. I already know some dork is going to try to coach me around and tell me what is and ima say this now. Idc.

Like I rarely see ppl with a amount over 10k and it's funny bc y'all say "10k is nothing now!" But that's all y'all bring to the table half the time. Hell not even 10k, probably 5k. 10k is on a good day.

And if this isnt clear I'm talking about the ppl who carelessly spend all their cc purposefully and complain. I'm not talking about a single 1k summon or a rotation or 2. I mean all 60k cc down the drain for basically nothing. Right b4 a event/anniversary too. And b4 you say "but ppl dont-" oh yes they do. Especially in Dokkan. They drop every last cc and dragon stone on some random banner. Not even getting the thing they want. And now they have nothing for the event.

And what do they do? Immediately go to somewhere and complain about how "it's hard to farm cc" or "we should get more cc often" or maybe y'all should just learn how to save? Stop spending your cc the second you get 300?

Also why the hell do y'all summon with cc when you have TICKETS? I swear y'all treat y'all tickets more valuable than your cc half the time. And don't say "but tickets don't give me a guaranteed pull" and? It's a low chance but it's not zero. Theres a low chance you can win the lottery but it's not zero.

I feel like Im the only person that plays this game that has common sense. Not only with the game but with the community. Tell me why everytime a new player joins someone just has to point out their "bad team" or some shit. No shit Sherlock. Ofc their team is "bad" they literally just joined. And when they ask for help they get clowned on half the time.

Like you niggas would do anything for a power trip. Thats the only reason why you could be acting like that. You see someone struggling and instead of giving helpful advice or trying to be kind y'all go on this fucking power trip trying to make the person asking for help belittled. Then y'all wanna cry about ppl leaving the game.

And these are grown ass men half the time. Your a 30 year old nigga telling a kid he's retarded bc his best unit is a sparking ssj3 Goku. Like grow the fuck up. You are not funny. You are not in a mean girl movie. You are not the main character. Just because you are on the internet doesn't mean your home training and manners gets to Disappear. And there are a lot of ppl like that too. And it's all grown. Ass. People. Not 18 or 19, it's People in their late 20s and shit. You should feel ashamed.

Honestly I can't wait to get all this cc and rub it in their cheap faces. Bc honestly y'all are horrible. Y'all don't save for shit but wanna summon every banner. Y'all want ppl to join but harass them into doing things your way. (Which is NOT how things work but ofc you think you're a Main character so im not stopping you) y'all dick ride meta so fucking hard to the point the devs have no choice but to release back to back op units or it's hell for everyone.

Thats the only reason y'all even fucking with shallot now. Bc he's op now. But just wait, and enjoy it while it last. Bc I know what's going to happen and it won't be pretty. (Basically everything is sweet then things will turn sour(like always))

Same reason why y'all fucked with ultra Goku black. Now nobody uses him anymore and he's now "bad". tf??? You ran that nigga on all your teams when he came out. But now the devs added something for balance and now all of a sudden it's bad? That's how we know half of y'all don't do shit but chase op meta. "Oh yea, it's good bc there is no way to counter him and we get to abuse this until the fucking cows come home, And we ain't got cows!"

The devs: *adds something to balance and counter goku black*

Everyone: Goku black is trash now.

Like how do you function? Just because you can't torment some random player it's no longer good? Just because you can't use something extremely broken in rank and effortlessly build your way up to a high rank it's not good????

If anything these are the examples of people that don't want to mess with you until you have something of value or something that can benefit them. And once you dry out you are tossed aside like an empty crawfish shell.

Anyway. Rant over.

[love-aholic]

Essay about Shrike being underappreciated because I'm going feral about the ep 4 preview

Starting off strong, Shrike was right on more things than Beebs was. In ep 1 he wanted to bail out on the contract because of Nobert's bounty which, morally it was wrong. Unless you paid REAL CLOSE attention to details we had no clue Nobert was royalty and not some poor bastard that some people wanted dead. But there would've been almost zero negative consequences and they would've been financially sound.

Now, morally Beebs was in the right. But at the end of the day, Shrike's plan would've led them to a better spot. Am I saying Shrike would use the 10 million pixels responsibly? No. But I am saying that it would've turned out 10x better for them. Not to mention Kara wouldn't be pissed off at them at the end of ep 3

Now moving on to ep 2, what happened is neither of their fault. But even Beebs said himself that he thinks Shrike is right. Now, once again Shrike wanted to bail out for selfish reasons. This time being it was too boring (or atleast that being his reason in the beginning) but there's not much to comment on ep 2 as both Beebs and Shrike had their suspicions so there isn't really any right or wrong party here. Shrike was just (unintentionally) quicker about it.

Moving on, Shrike is not a total idiot, he can just be childish or apathetic at times and he can get a job done. Shrike may have wanted to turn in Nobert because of selfish reasons but once it was decided that he has to escort him he never stepped out of the job or tried to trick the others into turning him in. We WATCHED him protect Nobert from Ricket, Tyneen, Scratch, and God knows how many people. DID YOU NOT SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE CHASING HIM WHILE THEY WERE AT THE RESTAURANT!??? (I know it's just a visual gag, but my point still stands)

And don't even get me started when they were at Oberon! I know the fight took place because well, they had to fight. But it was a 2 v 4 + unspecified amount of Fodders. The fight itself is unimportant here but remember we have a 8 ft tall Walranian, a 11? ft tall pirate lady, both are very strong. Plus an entire pirate crew (and Scritch and Scratch too ig) AND TELL ME WHO WAS HELLBENT ON GETTING NOBERT AWAY FROM KARA?? THATS RIGHT, SHRIKE!! He was tied up for pete sake and still went after Kara despite her A. Being a dangerous assassin and B. Not truly caring about Nobert's safety. He could've just said "welp we're done." But NAY, he ran after her anyway! Tyneen and Beebs likely could've easily broken the binds but at the end of the day it was Shrike who took down this assassin. Now thats a job (almost) well done! Almost...lol

Ep 2 they do finish their job with zero problems. But it wasn't until the fight I can say anything. Yes, Shrike absolutely lied about how they defeated her. But it's clear Agnes's reasoning on why she killed the Lythop didn't change at all in his version. So yes, Agnes was indestructible, BUT THEY STILL DEFEATED HER!! SHE WAS VERY MUCH INDESTRUCTIBLE AND THEY DID STRUGGLE BUT SHE WAS BEHIND BARS AT THE END OF THE DAY. If we can infer anything from that we can say that Beebs and Shrike are decent fighters

Short section here, but in ep 3 he literally saves Us's life without needing much instructions so it's clear he can easily infer of what must be done

Going back to Shrike being apathetic and childish it's clear it's not on purpose. (He has audhd your honor) there are times where he is reasonably mad but acts a tad outward or directs his anger at the wrong thing. Caring about his ship more than a genocide is definitely not the best look for him. Plus when he pulls one of the lythops out of his head and they started crying, he just shrugged it off. Alongside him commenting what happened in ep 2 as some "stupid job" is not the best thing ever. But he never once did any these things because he's mean spirited, just very dismissive

BUT ep 3 is by far the best examples of him just being apathetic. When he was watching El Bandito he wasn't really thinking about his surroundings (Beebs) and got annoyed when his show was interrupted, which was just him being apathetic here, not purposefully being a dick. (I do this so this is kind of inferring rather than actual evidence.) At the end of ep 3 he does become slightly more sympathetic and decides to watch his show in his room to not annoy anyone. Plus he is very visibly getting more comfortable around Beebs, meaning he'll likely think of his feelings more in the future.

He does all these things but he's held back by ONE TRAIT that everyone else defines him by, "childish"

SO CAN TYNEEN PLEASE KEEP HER MOUTH SHUT-

OH AND BEEBS AINT INNOCENT EITHER. IM NOT GOING TO PRETEND HE WASNT QUIET THE ENTIRE TIME!! LIKE DAMN, ATLEAST TRY TO DEFEND SHRIKE

[jenniefromdblock]

Drained

[Originally posted on JULY 21, 2021 ]

I rushed my mom twice to the ER the other day (7/16/2021) due to her complaining about an excruciating pain on her left side.

I woke up with her moaning in pain around 7am, so I immediately got up and packed a lot of disinfectants and my laptop (I had to work) and drove to 2 goverment hospitals’ ER. The 1st one just referred us to the 2nd, the 2nd just prescribed meds. They were prioritizing COVID patients, even though their ERs are empty (shoutout to the 2nd which is QCGH). I’m not going to comment on how they handled our situation because I know they have their “reasons”. Since Mom was still in so much pain, we went ahead to Capitol Med. Yes, I know it is private and expensive but fuck it. It’s Mom.

We arrived at around 11am (I had no concept of time, I just wanted the day to be over) and we were immediately attended to. Mom was hooked up to an IV (omeprazole at first, then liquid paracetamol), blood works, urinalysis, and xray were done. When I asked her, she says the pain was level 8 and went to intermittent. There were also times that it goes away. According to her urinalysis, they found specks of blood, so they Rx’d Mom to be CT scanned for suspected kidney stones. During that time I kept on asking her if she can manage the pain, etc. She was like meh, and we were already given prescriptions so we decided that we will sign the waiver to not perform the CT Scan at that moment (the reason and backstory later). We were discharged around 4pm.

I was able to settle a bit when we got home and go back to working. Not even two hours later, Mom was again writhing in pain and she was crying “Lord, please make it stop.” Her pain tolerance is so high that seeing her in that situation was very alarming, so thats when I decided to ask my sister to call an ambulance (I was no longer in the right mental and emotional state to drive at that moment) while I prepare the stuff we need in case she gets confined.

We were brought again to Capitol Med because at least they already know us, the guard was literally like “Uy, parang kanina lang…”. We agreed to do the CT Scan and results says the pain is caused by kidney stones.

Also, even though my Mom doesn’t feel anything, they saw an 8x12x12 benign cyst on her right ovaries. While the doctor assured us its nothing and can be treated easily, they referred us to an OB GYN, who explained the next steps for treatment to us.

Honestly at that point, I hear garbled messages. I can no longer process anything because all I worry about was how the fuck am I going to pay for the hospital bills because I am super bankrupt.

The Backstory: I was retrenched in December 2020 and we were trying to survive off my separation pay (which isn’t that big amount so if you ask me, no I didn’t even have the chance to enjoy it). In April 2021, I got a freelancing job and I am in contract until December, which I am very thankful for. But what I earn is just enough for the utility bills and monthly groceries for 3 people. Yes, I also have been the provider in this house.

I only have Php 1,000 ($20) in my bank account. I have 2 credit cards that I have not been using and been paying off so I can cut it.

But I had to. I maxed out the limit of my first credit card to settle the hospital bills during our ER Visit #1. I had no choice but to do the same for my second to pay off ER Visit #2, not to mention the prescribed medicines worth 2 weeks. Oh btw, the OB GYN consultation fee needed to be paid in cash, so yeah goodbye 1k. Before, I psych myself bankrupt but I still have like 10k+ in the bank. But now, I am literally, really, very, zero balance.

At this point I am not sure how will I be able to bring her to a urologist, another OB GYN session and possible operation.

Well, going back to the main story… we got home around 12am. Mom was still in pain but at least we know the cause. Also, the pain reliever works so Mom was able to sleep enough.

I am still mentally and emotionally drained. Most of all, financially.

So that’s how the day went.

[consummateprofessional]

Engaging The Community Part 1

Hello "Community" I am engaging with you, have you heard? No? That's because this is my first blog post and I have spent exactly zero time attempting to build a community of any kind. Now if I said "Hello community, I am building you and engaging with you simultaneously" doesn't that make more sense? Yes? You're wrong, it still doesn't make any sense, but we'll get there soon enough. Anyway thats my "hook", to use a little bit of 5th grade, persuasive essay, bullshit. But the hook can't last forever, if I'm doing this right, I'm about to begin my "Introductory Paragraph."

Anyone invested in the gallery side of the fine arts is probably familiar with some form of the phrase "engaging with the community", it is as present in calls for entry, as it is in the entries they're calling for. It seems as though any gallery worth a damn is neurotically concerned with the amount of engagement that the community is receiving, as if this speculative community is not a group of people, but instead a large dog living in a tiny apartment, ADHD symptomatic and morbidly devoid of enrichment. It is up to the brave souls, in the field of arts administration, to help these abused dogs by any means necessary. Maybe they're capable of doing that. The question to whom are they are doing this is probably something worth speculating about, and how they're planning to do it seems just as tied to the dog's well being. Those two concerns are what I will, hopefully, be describing.

If we're going to go about setting up our 501-C3 rescue shelter masquerading as an art gallery, we should probably figure out who the dogs are to begin with. "OH GOD" I hear you shriek from your seat on the subway "He's going to cite the fucking dictionary, he's just going to give us the dictionary definition of 'community' I knew he was a hack! A conversational tone is a RED FLAG" That's right, dumbshit, get ready for a hastily googled "community definition." According to the Oxford dictionary, community is a word with 3 definitions, which are subdivided into 10 contextual definitions, very useful, let me choose one that suits my purposes as a critic. I'll just go with the first one since its applicable to most situations, the 3rd (read: 10th) is exclusively about ecology, and the 2nd (read: 7th) is somewhat applicable but excludes aspects of the definition regarding physical space-- it makes sense to use that definition here (on tumblr), or on ...twitter? (Can I still call it twitter?) But an art gallery isn't (usually) a website, and is typically seen as serving its purpose in relationship to physical space as-well-as likeminded people. Anyway, the first definition of community is "A group of people living in the same place or having particular characteristics in common"(Oxford). You'll notice that this essentially applies to everything, in what world are we not engaging either with people in physical space or with people who have things in common? It kind of seems like the word community is, by this definition, too vague to be particularly useful in any regard-- especially in relationship to a business mission statement. So that was kind of a waste of time, unless, perhaps, I'm attempting to set up a point about intentionally vague language(?) Maybe you'll find out! Maybe! Anyway, since the dictionary definition was predictably useless, maybe the galleries I'm ostensibly talking about will offer something more substantial in their mission statements, artforum is a good place to go if you want big-name galleries to be advertised to you. Let's check out Marian Goodman Gallery's mission statement. For those not in the know, Marian Goodman Gallery is actually three galleries, one in LA, one in New York City (at the time of writing, the gallery is planned to move to Tribeca by 2024), and one à Paris. They're owned by Marian Goodman, who is a "Blue Chip" art dealer, which is actually a financial term and not an art term, but here basically means that she sells very expensive works of art and the work she sells can be trusted to be resold at a higher value than it was purchased at. In other word, the galleries she runs are incredibly well respected. Her mission statement (which actually doesn't make much sense given the financial aspect of her career but whatever) reads as follows:

"Marian Goodman Gallery champions the work of artists who stand among the most influential of our time, representing over five generations of diverse thought and practice. What makes the gallery singular is its enduring and deep-rooted collaborations and understanding with the artists—a bond that is concurrent with curators, thought leaders, and art institutions worldwide. The Gallery’s exhibition program, characterized by its caliber and rigor, provides international platforms for its artists to showcase their work, foster vital dialogues with new audiences, and advance their practices within nonprofit and institutional realms." (https://www.mariangoodman.com/about-our-gallery/).

I just finished washing my mouth out with soap, so now I'm ready to talk about this. Notably absent are the words "community" and "engagement" but that doesn't mean they aren't there! It just means we gotta dig around for, like two seconds, which we'll do but only after I make an extended point about how the first sentence is completely tautological. "Marian Goodman Champions the work of artists [...] the most influential of our time [...] over five generations." Okay, duh, of course they "champion" the work-- they're selling it, this is like saying that Apple champions the iPhone, or a used car dealer champions a 1997 GM Saturn. To state that these artists are "the most influential of our time" is true but in a weird kind of way-- the gallery represents 47 artists and among them are some very impressive figures, Chantel Akerman, William Kentridge, Christian Boltanski, Gerhard Richter (who actually ended his representation with them in 2022, in favor of the far more famous David Zwirner, which is an obvious and predictable career move, especially for an artist vocally interested in "winding down production"(artnet)). These are not artists to turn your nose up at, they're BIG names, they were also brought into being represented by the gallery well after they had already made a name for themselves. Akerman, for instance, had come into fame during the 70s and 80s as an experimental filmmaker-- the peak of her acclaim occurring in 1975, two years before Marian Goodman Gallery came into existence. I don't want to "throw" too much "shade" at Goodman, there is a certain kind of bravery to being born rich, then advertising already famous European artists to Americans who have never heard of them. But the artists were, without a doubt, already famous. Gerhard Richter, who is probably the most important artist ever to be represented by the gallery, had already been featured in the 1972, 1980, 1984 Venice Biennales as well as Documenta V (1972) and Documenta VII (1982) before he began his representation with Marian Goodman in 1985, these are incredibly prestigious art fairs and exhibitions, a baby could have predicted Richter's rise to international fame, especially considering it had already begun. None of this is to undermine MGG as an institution, it is absolutely noteworthy that this gallery was responsible for bringing prominent European artists to the States, but much of what it gives itself credit for within its about page, is actually the work of others, and is the reason that they began representing these artists in the first place. Finally the first sentence ends with "over five generations" which is just a way of saying "we've been around for a long time" and anyone knows what MGG is, already knows that, while it is impressive for an art gallery to be around for a long time, it certainly isn't retroactively impressive that a blue chip gallery is old-- thats kind of par-for-the-course. So now MGG and I are even, its website found a verbose and irritating way of telling its audience nothing while aggrandizing itself, and I've found a verbose and irritating way of telling you that thats what they're telling you while aggrandizing myself.

end of part one, in part two I'll finish what I was talking about in regards to MGG's definition of "community" and what it means for them to imply a kind of engagement. Maybe by the end of Part 3 i'll have made my point about exactly how much this is just meaningless puff, and perhaps another point about how it positions these galleries as somehow radical. I didn't know Tumblr had a character limit, otherwise I would've put this on substack. Too late to go back now.

[coffeishowifunction]

I am aware that people probably dont care but I said I would so here it is you guys!

I went to a disco a bit over a week ago and I am going to walk you through the joys of it. So I think I got home at around 5 and we (the friend I was going with) decided we'd do our own thing food wise. I got dinner and then at around 6 she got to my place, now when I tell you that she can do the most breathtaking things with her makeup so she looked like a godess. We got into our lovely, lovely dresses (I have always been more into jeans but .....I'm also a very vain individual so seeing myself in a dress for the first time in months was exciting I wont lie)

And as controversial as it is I am a clothes, makeup, hair kinda gal so thats the order I worked in. Now my original plan was mascara and lipgloss (Ellie didnt like that) so I was sat down in a chair and she did eyeshadow and bronzer. Dont quote me but i looked pretty when she was done so i dont mind.

As I mentioned I am vainnnnnn! And I have no issue admitting that we (Ellie and I lol) looked gorgeous.

So we kinda just hung around for a bit and took a sinful amount of photos of ourselves lol (as I'm typing this I have noticed that it is 00:03 so happy Halloween everyone) and we left the house at like twenty past eight to arrive at nine.

I wont bore you with the specifics I think we all know discos are loud lol. But I'll just summarise.

Straight away we met four of my best friends who I havent seen in weeks and I had an AMAZING night (lots of dancing lots of singing). To be honest I lost the plot a bit. ALL my friends have videos of me dancing to Miley Cyrus like there wouldnt be a tomorrow lmao. But whats a high achieving eldest daughter going to do except where a crazy short dress and dance till well past midnight. Everyone deserves to let loose you guys even if its once in a blue moon.

NOW I will make myself very clear there was no funny business on my watch. Zero. Again I am too vain for my own good so I will say that....there was some offers "Sorry I'm with friends" they all got the same answer. I will hold your purse and root you on, I will help you fix your lipstick and hair. But no way will anyone do the same for me, nope. Sorry not sorry.

I have been asked if I'm afraid videos might resurface when I run for president. The saddest part is the fact that my answer is yes. Hell yes I am. He was joking but seriously, I dont WANT to be President but sometimes how obsessed I am with all things being right or winning scares me and careers have been ruined.

Anyhow. Just to wrap up we left at i think half twelve I couldnt hear or speak a word. My legs were killing me (dancing queen much) but shoutout to Ellie's mum. She somehow found us a place that was selling pizza and cookies at one in the morning. So I wrapped up the night on Ellies couch with a dozen cookies a Coke Zero and the Beckham documentary.

And it was nice to know that I can step out of my comfort zone if I ever want to lol.

Happy Halloween you guys.! Nightt.

[poupeesdecirque]

Travel Blog ... Nicon 2023!

This was very not planned. I visited the Nicon in Hanover for a few hours on the 7th October (Con Saturday).

My reason was mainly to cheer for the dear Lotus.Diva (Insta, I know you have tumblr but I am not sure which handle?) who attended the Cosplay Contest.

I went as Nea and I learned I really need to restyle that wig. Nea is an easy character and I wanted to get rid of the negative Connichi vibes the cosplay had for me.

This is actually the second time for me to go to the NiCon. The first time was ... I think in 2008? I was there as journalist back then. Yes, you read that right.

I worked for an online magazine back in the day and got access to some conventions for writing reports, the NiCon was one of them. I just briefly remember the details from back then, as my coworker and I didn't stay that long. It's wild to remember that time, there have been so many things I did for the community in my country and all. I quit that job (it was just volunteered work) as I started my apprenticeship as teacher and I lacked the time to continue.

Quick travel to Hanover, I arrived a bit before the contest started, actually found the people I was looking for rather fast and sat down in the contest room to secure a seat.

The former performance was a musician who does gaming related songs? I.. think he was okay, it's just truly not my genre of music.

Guess here I am a bit pissed as we were ALL send out of the room before the contest started for whatever reason and it was hard to aquire a seat (thats why the majority even watched the musician in before... sigh). And you couldn't watch the contest when you didn't have a seat.

Here is the dear Lotus.Diva during their performance :D

I have zero knowledge of Genshin Impact but I had to laugh, it was very fun. Congrats on scoring 2nd place!

The overall contest was interesting to watch, the amount of courage to step on a stage to perform. Kudos for that.

I wasn't able to watch the full contest as somehow my brain started games on me and I noticed I needed to get out, I just hope I didn't miss too much.

I explored the area and con a bit. The park is really nice, I didn't remember it at all to be honest. It's a great location for a convention this size.

The artist alley and vendor room were on the smaller size and some were indeed also at the Connichi and Wolfscon, therefore not much for me to find and buy. I wasn't planning to stay too long as my dog isn't used to hold up too long and my parents weren't home to help out. Whoops.

I have to thank you for the time we walked around, I truly missed the times of just socializing through linking the same series and just sharing hobbies like cosplay. There was even a Lenalee Cosplayer, you gather them all, haha.

I love how supportive you are and even when I just stood there most of the time I can tell this day was great and I enjoyed it a lot. I'm looking forward to meet you and your partner again next weekend.

I am not sure if I would attend the Nicon again though as the program isn't my taste but it was fun to revisit it after all those years!

[ham-st4r]

bby pls it’s a crime to put “trash” and any of ur fics in the same sentence 😞💗 i finally had time to read it andddd ‼️‼️ honest feelings it was intriguing and omg i felt so bad for yn cuz hee own family was the one hurting her the most her mom was a poor excuse of a human. a waste of resources in the world 👹 and like wtf how could u look at hee and be like “meh imma js use him and then leave” I WOULD SLAP MYSELF OKAY? like what’s wrong with the mom 🫥

the whoep storyline was like soooo good aaaaaa they things they did behind the mom’s heehhehehe so hot. but when hee “broke it off” omgg my heart broke for them. not them both hiding the fact that they were hurting sigh the angst hit hard BUT IT WAS THE RIGHT AMOUNT CUZ WE GOT TO SEE JEALOUS STEPDADDY HEE AHAHAHHA he’s so possessive i love like imagine being called “my princess” “my girl” and he fucking claimed her pussy and her whole being essentially ‼️ (toxic behavior for irl men but it’s hee soooo we can turn a blind eye heheheh) and i loveeee how u made yn pretend like that disgusting bully was actually her bf js to make hee jealous ehehehhehhe they’re so silly i love them

however…there were some parts i feel like u could’ve elaborated or written more? BUT THATS JS CUZ I WANT TO READ MORE OF UR AMAZING WRITING 😣🫶🏻

oh and also one last thing (sorry) when hee said he had cameras all over the house so that they have evidence of the abuse and stuff 👀 so…he basically also has footage of yn and him fucking…all over the house…in all sorts of positions 👀 AAAAAAAA I SQUEALED IDEK IF THATS TRUE BUT IF IT IS IDK THATS KINDA HOT

Ok i’m done for now i js wanted to express how much i liked it 😞🫶🏻‼️💗

ily muah pls take care of urself 💞

Why do I lowkey like the mom tho? Lmao 😂 I mean she’s a bitch of course but the way she treated hee was like ?? I think I went overboard 😭 especially with the whole “you’re not her real dad” her to toxicity was off the charts

But then hee is kinda stupid for staying with her for so long but the poor man was so in love and just wanted his little family to stay together even if she was treating him like less than trash and giving him zero attention 😞

And same I had to take out so many parts cause the dots just weren’t connecting I still think I could have done a bit more of a backstory but by the time I tried I was too far into the story so I just had to go with it and do the best I could

The first sex scene was so so different from the initial one but I think the one I used was better

That being said though y/n has been through the mud ☹️ and the part where hee broke things off that’s what I wanted to go into more detail about but i couldn’t word it better to save my life (real) and I still can’t even describe it 😐

But overall I’m glad everyone seemed to enjoy it I’m just a little bit disappointed with this one 🫤

Thanks for the feedback I really do appreciate it you’re one of a kind 💙 hope you have a good day today!!!!

Btw yes them fucking is on camera too 🫣

[j-restlessgeek]

Hell yes, i love his soft see through silky outfits. The bows the lace the cropped outfits. 😩😩😩😩💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛. They all work so well for him. So beautiful. Especially in combination with his drumming.

His sweet tummy, exposed for everyone to see, that line that goes down his front, he has it in the back as well

Oh while we are on the topic of his back, look at his physique, his muscles moving under his skin, a skin that dotted in freckles and moles, each delicately placed as if kissed by the sun herself. He is a drop of sunshine in human form, he holds such a bright and intense light.

He also holds insane amounts of strengths, playing a concert on drums, yeah that needs some much stamina. Also knowing how to play drums to support a song without being too dominant or weak, thats a science on its own. And he carries the songs so well. I still was not able to listen to anything but the live album. You can here his drumming, its there its present, its supporting. I am dying, i dont know a lot about drumming but hell i go mad, i love drummers.

Also he can carry Kris across the stage and make it look like Kris weighs nothing to him.

Carrying him as if its zero effort. I am mildly obsessed. Thats the lie of the century.

Also he has this soft fuzz that seems to cover his entire body and makes him look out of this world when hit by light (cant find a picture right now)

Also this picture 🥹🥹🥹🥹💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛. Biggest heart eyes ever.

Could talk for hours, gushing over him. 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

Jure blast cause i am not done talking about our beloved talented kitty.

How is he real?!?!? How is he adhudhsvdcsrdtdrehfd.

Gorgeous and stunning from every angle. Have we talked about his side profile yet? 👀👀

Look at this, 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹. Again how is he real?!? His nose, his cheeks his eyes, its like poetry.

He can wear everything and it suits him so well.

So pretty and hot 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

I love all his smiles, be it filled with teeth or like this, soft.

Also his dimples!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, i love his fluffy looking hair so much. His face invites you to hold it gently. 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

I want a jure cam for future shows. How can you look at him and not be smitten (yes, people have different tastes) 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

He is just ahhhhgggfdfgh so so pretty like please never stop talking about him to me!! So talented, so amazing, so funny and gorgeous and just AHGGFGHFGH THIS MAN!

Oh dear that picture...it's so so pretty and just...wow. He looks good from all angles but this is just wow just wow! I love it when he wears silky shirts and see-through things and the bows around his neck because they compliment him so well and make his profile stand out even more!

I could talk about the demoni blouse for HOURSE because that thing is otherworldly OH MY GOD

And his SMILE OH MY GOD YES!! With the dimples? I am on my knees he is just so pretty. Like I wanna hold him and squeeze him and never let go. So so pretty.

He's criminals cute (。・ω・。)

JURE CAM YES PLS COUNT ME IN!

[funky-sea-cryptid]

Yo, I loved the Saintverse and I've got some questions but feel free to skip or ignore this ask if I'm being too curious! - what happened to yuno's elf, and the other elf spirits (luck's and gauche's, if they're part of the timeline), and charmy's wolf? - are... are the bulls, y'know, still there? - I loved the little bit of info you shared about the saints, could you talk more of their personalities & group dynamics?

HIII THANK YOU SO MUCH and of course not! you're not being too curious!!!

this happens after the elf arc (within the six month timeskip post arc) and rufel plays a. he sure is part of this (and is not having a great time) the only elf spirit in any of the saints would be yuno's elf and he's not conscious all the time (the only one in no.7 having a good time). as for charmy's wolf, the wolf is a spell like rouge so it would probably be hanging out with kelpie.

well. morris fused their souls together (or, tried to in 7's case) so,,, yes? but also no. they did undergo some brainwashing so. you know. take that how you will i guess? the saints are very much seperate people than their components

YES yeah it's. saints 1-6 are supposed to treat each other as siblings? and they do it's just.... they're the second most dysfunctional family in spade (first goes to the zogratises).

stella is the collective older sister (area woman has SUCH an alcohol addiction) and she gets along with ares because they make fun of each other for being so normal and healthy about this. the only person she will ever come to with her troubles is vesta and that's because vesta won't tell anyone. she adores her siblings but dear god are they obnoxious no she ISNT crying again leave her alone futhark

ares is THE emo girl of the house he's so fine and rational guys. he gets teased for never being able to keep anyone around and having zero rizz whatsoever like he hasnt come out of the bedroom covered in blood. he pretends he's Too Cool to have trauma but um. he is not. and everyone knows it. let him listen to mcr in peace. teamed up with stella (support/offense) or vesta (support). the only one who actively tries to help seven stabilize.

doleur is painfully self conscious so they tend not to talk much, but they engage in parallel play! it'll be near impossible to get them to admit they love their stupid fucking siblings but you know. It is what it is or whatever. they're usually teamed up with vesta or futhark (but mostly futhark because they're both MEANIES)

vesta is the REAL epic niisan they ARE the sibling that everyone comes to and they love it. everyone loves them they're literally a sweetie all the time and because they're so versatile they get put with all of their darling siblings! they have faint memories of not being able to connect with people so this is very nice!

futhark is MEAN they're the saint of condemnation and criticism for a reason and thats because when morris said he was god futhark said "didnt know god was a scrawny BITCH" but mostly because they're mean to everyone. although with their siblings it's how they show love so.

kelpie is the self professed baby everyone pick her up IMMEDIATELY right now. little touch starved attention demander. she ADORES stella and futhark and helps tease ares bc ares is fun to mock when he's off in his room being emo. she has fucking. five magical attributes and two of them consume mana so she's technically one of the most powerful saints. she's so clingy fr,,, she loves her siblings please pick her up she's just a baby (the amount of war crimes,,,, man)

yeah uhhh yeah! feel free to ask more :3c my dms are open

[stagemanagerssaygo]

Heaven and Hell: or my experience being a person of color in Disney’s Hyperion Theater

by Cooper Howell

Heaven and Hell: or my experience being a person of color in Disney's Hyperion Theater. #holdingtheateraccountable Im just gonna go ahead and be straight up. This is pretty scary to share. HEAVEN: Once upon a time Liesl Tommy cast me as Prince Hans in Frozen: Live at the Hyperion. And I was gooped. GOOPED. There was nothing in my prior history that gave any indication this was possible. Up until then every role I played had to do with my race. Every. Single. One. And even ones where it didn’t (Shakespeare or classical pieces mostly) I was always made aware that the novelty of me being a poc in that role that gave me the part. So much did I not expect to get this part that when I got the callback I rolled my eyes and didn’t take the actual callback seriously. I mean, there was a zero percent chance that Disney would ever let me play a Prince, especially when the dude in the movie is a ginger. But then I got it. And immediately everything I thought was possible about my career changed. My whole life I’ve never inwardly felt black. I’ve never inwardly felt white. I’ve always felt like I was Cooper, you know, on the inside. But whether it was every single white human in Utah reminding me that I was “the whitest person they ever knew/saw” (which DIDNT mean how white my skin was. It was how white I ACTED) or Mr. Johnson, my 7th grade drama teacher, telling me that he “wanted to put Velcro on the ceiling to see if I’d stick” or Mr. Smith, my high school drama teacher, saying “finally we can do black shows” as soon as I entered high school and then not casting me in roles because of the "optics" of it, or even my best friend in high school Tanner Harmon who called me "blackie", I was always reminded that I was an other. So imagine getting paid good money to put on that $10,000 costume and waltzing out to 4000 people a day to play a really amazing part. A fantastic, evil, complicated, person who sings a killer duet and then grabs the show by the throat with a vicious about-face monologue... and not once was my race ever mentioned cuz it didnt matter. What was being prized was Cooper, my talent, not my skin color that I never asked for. Heaven. Liesl MADE SURE, almost overly sure, that the poc’s in the cast felt equal. The kingdom of Arendelle, after all, is a make believe place. It can be whatever. From having Disney executives come and tell us that they were happy to have us there, to side conversations with John Lasseter, we were made to feel overly welcome playing the parts we were playing. She encouraged us to dive deeper into the script of a cartoon that I didnt really think much of until I was in it. We were encouraged to ask why. We felt seen as talent and not commodities. There were, of course, detractors. Gosh, I remember people at a party of cast members from "Mickey and the Magical Map" another show at Disneyland which features a princess and the frog number and many of those casts mates angrily claiming that “if that black girl Tiana Okoye can play Elsa than I should be able to play Princess Tiana” and then looking at me to confirm that was okay to say, not realizing that a) she’s one of my best friends, b) that I’m in the show with her also playing a role that wasn't created to be a poc, c) how racist that sounded, and d) why there's a difference there and why that wouldn't make sense. On Liesls final night I came up to her and said “I don’t know why you did it but thank you so much for casting ME in this part” to which she replied “you mean why would I cast a handsome, talented person in this role?” And I stuttered something like “well, I mean, I’m black. You know...” to which she tilted her head to her side and said “no. I don’t know why. Tell me why that matters.” And I had no answer. Seeing that I had no answer she smiled. That was the answer. There was no reason. On the spot my outlook about myself changed. Windows into what I thought was possible for me opened. -------------------------------------- HELL: And then Liesl went back to NYC and she was replaced by a man named Roger Castellano as show director. Rogers task, he told us on the first day, was to "change the show". We were not told what needed to be changed or even why, but that changes were on the horizon. You've got to understand: to a full cast of actors who had just spent more than three months dissecting a 60 page Disney script with a Tony nominated director like it was Shakespeare, we were initially emotionally/mentally/spiritually resistant to changes. But then it became clear that the spirit of collaboration was over, and the show changes were to be given without the same care, consideration, and thematic explanation of why they were being made. Everyones initial reaction was to push back, but when people who questioned their notes or their changes started getting days removed their schedule or being replaced entirely by a new actor, the Hyperion theater became a place where no one was allowed to speak out. Injustices were happening left and right and no one felt they could do anything for fear of losing their livelihood. And that's when the Frozen: Live at the Hyperion became a living hell. In my first note session with Roger he pulled me into a room with Domonique Paton, my best friend and incredible costar who played princess Anna in the show I was in. She just so happens to also be black. Almost all of Prince Hans’s scenes in the show are with her character and so most of my notes would be primarily based on those interactions with her. Earlier in the day I performed with a different (white) actress but it was the show with Domonique that I had a note session about. Imagine my surprise and dismay when, with how Liesl set up the show experience, we were told this: “WHEN THE TWO OF YOU PERFORM THE SHOW TOGETHER ITS TOO… URBAN.” Urban. What else could that have meant, do you think? He could have said maybe “too contemporary” emphasizing that we were maybe too modern in our speech patterns or movements. We weren’t. He could have said “too lax” or “too loose” meaning that maybe we were being unprofessional and goofy up there because we’re really good friends. We were not. The best me and Ms. Paton could think of was a 8 count moment of improv dance that me and Domonique decided to use as a synchronized moment of unity. It happened to fall on the line “our mental synchronization can have but one explanation” and thought, with the freedom that Christopher (the original choreographer) had given us, was appropriate, especially considering everyone behind us was doing the robot. As in the 80s robot. But he didnt clarify. He just said “WHEN THE TWO OF YOU PERFORM THE SHOW TOGETHER IT’S TOO… URBAN” And when asked what he meant he smiled with a little shrug and said "you can figure that out. You're smart." And thats how I became Black Hans and Domonique became Black Anna. My every moment onstage afterwards became about the optics of being a poc in that show. It was if I was suddenly made aware that I was LUCKY enough to be there and under any normal circumstances, or this new directors circumstances, me getting this part would have never happened. But the message was clear. It was especially clear when me and Domonique Paton shows together durastically decreased and made even more clear when the vast majority of the new hires were not people of color. But no one said anything. And made even MORE clear when, over the next few weeks, both Domonique and I got COPIOUS notes, ten times that of our coworkers that played the same parts. It was almost a game. In fact we did turn it into a game, seeing who would get the least amount of notes from him in a day. Our costars would even joke about it onstage with us, during the ballroom scene, and jokingly whisper "The shows been up 15 minutes. How many do you think you got today?" But no one said anything. And the notes were about all kinds of things. How we held our hand. If our inflections went up or down on a word. Which side of a couch we leaned on… which was fine! When you're an actor, thats the gig... until we started comparing our notes with the actors that played our same parts and none of them, NONE, would get the same notes. Our notes would be outrageously longer, the note sessions sometimes lasting 10/15 minutes. Others would get the “Oh hey, try doing this or that next time, okay bye” walk-by notes. Sometimes I would sneak into the audience and watch as some of the other Han's, some of whom changed lines, changed entire intentions of scenes, some of whom adding in all types of vocalizations and cackles and dance moves and what have you, and would receive ZERO notes. But I was watching them to see what was wrong with me. What was my performance missing? What am I actually doing to feel this singled out. And then I realized that the thing that was wrong with me was that I was a different color than the 5 other white Hans's they cast. And then I started getting notes about my penis. Most of the time these “penis sessions”, as I called them, were given in private rooms without another stage manager present. It was incredibly unpleasant and unprofessional. In fairness, those Prince Hans pants are TIGHT! And yes, Mr. Howell is indeed a party in the front and a party in the back, but so were a lot of those fellas. And thats where I put my foot down. If Disney was going to provide me with a costume it is not my responsibility to fix their problem, especially when other of my (white) costars had been given a dance belt for the same thing. But they never got penis notes. Private session notes about what their penis looked like in that show. Over and over again I was told to fix it, to not make it (my dick) so apparent, and that “if my daughter were younger I wouldn’t want her to come to a show you were performing at" all the more insulting considering his daughter, a cast member in the show, was a friend of mine and the loveliest person. He started demanding that I buy a dance belt. It was “my fault”, “my responsibility” …and thats where I took my stand. And then it really became hell. Penis sessions were now done out in the open. Once, he screamed at me, in the green room in front of all of my costars during lunch, about how incredible unprofessional I was, about how he was tired of seeing my dick, and that if I didnt go buy myself one I didnt deserve to be there anymore. Followed by a huge litany of notes. That doesnt compare to some of what Domonique went through and I invite her to share them if she’s willing. During this time I went to every stage manager in the building and told them about being singling out and about my penis. They all told me to write a complaint report and it would go to some place called "HR". Which I did. Numerously. More months passed. Nothing from "HR". Multiple cast members who witnessed my note sessions encouraged me to go to the HR themselves. I didnt honestly know what an HR was. As soon as it was explained to me by my allies even what an HR was I went to the head of HR at Disneyland herself and waited outside of her door. I asked her if she got any of my HR reports and she told me that she had received no HR reports from the Hyperion. Ever. And then asked me to fill out a HR form. As we went over it, she asked me some questions, and then set up a second meeting. On the second meeting she said that in order for my report to be given credence I would need witnesses to give their testimony. The witnesses, in fact the very people that told me to go to HR in the first place, said no. They didnt want to lose their jobs. In retrospect that might be the thing that hurt the most but, whatever... anyway, I was told "“well… without testimonies we’ll do an investigation and we’ll call you when we’ve completed it.” I never received a phone call. With absolutely zero protection from the stage managers from both the sexual harassment or my obvious racial targeting I (and others) were experiencing, not to mention that HR reports were doing nothing, aka not being forwarded, I thought about quitting. And when a white stage manager made a show mistake and laughed it off to the cast by saying an entirely offensive lynching joke, I quit. I didnt matter to Disney. How I felt and what I was being put through didnt matter. I was a commodity. My departure was unceremonious. Bizarre. 100% un-magical. I hung up my costume one last time and it was given to a new Hans, one who looked very much like me oddly, and stepped out of the theater. The park was playing “every wish your heart desires will come to you” and I remember laughing at how dead that song felt. The director has since moved on but still works as a musical theater director in Southern California. This one time 4 years ago I got to feel something other than my color for the first and only time in my professional career. It lasted from about March 2016 to July 2016 and never again since. I will never forget in those early days looking at all the beautiful princesses I got to woo and thinking “wow. I’m a prince right now.” Im sure that sounds stupid. But it didn't feel stupid. And a Disney prince! Yeah, a shitty prince kinda... I mean, he's a sociopath... BUT still a Prince! Especially special was being able to look in Dominique’s eyes and I could see the same glimmer of “can you believe we get to do this right now” reflected back. We never knew it was in the cards for us. My race always has and will always be part of my career equation and a determining factor of its projection. It will always be a determining factor in how im treated, by creatives, by people, by the those in authority over me, including the government and the police. #wasitmyskin

Copied in its entirety here from Cooper Howell’s public Facebook post: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10163696376095054&set=a.10151302685610054&type=3&theater