#yes sometimes I’ll get “but does this hurt??” but when I say yes they apologize profusely and never do it again

[borathae]

Grief is a funny thing

"Grief is a funny thing. You think that you got over it until you are sitting on a random bench, on a random Monday night and it comes back to remind you that it will always be part of you."

Pairing: CEO!Jungkook x f.Reader

Genre: Angst, married life!AU, Hurt & Comfort

Warnings: OC graduated yaay!!, but it brings up old memories for her and she is in a state of guilt & grief, talk about loss of family and grief that won't leave, tears, but Jungkook is there for her and he is such a comfort, i love him a lot

Wordcount: 2.1k

a/n: sometimes i have the desire to write something angsty for the aaol!couple. listennn, i reread some of the main chapters again and i wanted to write something about OC's grief over her brother and how Kook handles her grief episodes. soo that's why this was created <3

You graduated. You actually did it. You are officially a person with a masters degree. You are something. The degree is at home where you left it. On the living room coffee table next to an empty glass of water. 

You can’t look at it.  

Nobody would get you if you told them that you don’t want to look at it, because it’s insane. You are aware of it. For years, all you dreamt of was being something one day. And then it happened and you were able to pursue your dream education and to graduate. You literally fulfilled your biggest dream, it should make you happy and it does, but it also doesn’t. Deep down in your heart you know the reason for it, but you aren’t ready to admit it to yourself yet. It would make you cry. You hate crying for negative reasons.

Your phone rings. This is the third time it does and you know that you can’t ignore whoever is calling you any longer. 

Your heart stings when you check their ID. 

Your Jungkookie is calling. You pick up, feeling guilty as you do. 

“Yes?”

“Oh my god, finally. Thank god. Where are you? I’ve been trying to reach you for what feels like hours. Are you okay?” Jungkook sounds distressed on the other side of the line. Understandably. It is currently one in the morning and you left without warning. 

“I’m okay, just went for a walk.”

“At one in the morning?” he sounds confused. Understandably so. You are normally sleeping at this time of day. 

“Yeah, well. Yeah, I guess.”

“It’s pouring buckets right now.”

“I guess it is.”

Silence on his side where he clearly tries to process what you are saying. 

“Where are you? I’m coming to pick you up”, he says in the end.

“Paradis. The bench in front of it.”

Another silence. Understandably. You never went back there again after quitting your job.

“Just…just stay there. I’ll be quick”, Jungkook tries to sound neutral, but the anxiety is clear in his voice.

“Yeah, okay.”

“I adore you.”

“I adore you too.”

The call ends. You shove the phone back into your jacket pocket and continue to stare at the sign while the rain pours down on you. Jungkook doesn’t need to worry. You weren’t planning on leaving this bench for quite a while. All of this studying about how to help people and you feel helpless. It almost paralyzes you and makes time pass in a blur.

Jungkook runs to get to you, getting wet even under the umbrella as the water slaps against him. He calls out your name. You turn your head slowly, looking at him with tired, empty eyes. 

“Oh my god, my love. You scared me so much. Why would you leave without saying anything?” he says, falling around your neck to hug you against him. 

Your body falls into him. He is warm and his hug is tight. He cradles the back of your head, twisting parts of your jacket with his other hand. 

“You made me worry like crazy. Please don’t ever do this again”, he says between little kisses all over your face and head.

“I’m sorry.” 

“Apology accepted, my love. Just tell me what’s wrong, please.” 

Now that he is with you and you are in his arms, the state of you is so clear to you. 

“I’m really cold.” 

“No wonder. It’s fucking November and you’re sitting here getting drenched.” He says, trying to warm you by rubbing your back. “Come on, let’s go home.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

You let him help you to your feet. You hook arms with him, hugging his arm with both hands. You even go as far as to rest your head against it. Jungkook holds the umbrella even though you and he are already soaked to the bones. 

“You’re worrying me, my love. What’s the matter?” he asks.

You and he walk back to his car at a slow pace.

“I don’t know”, you say.

“Why did you come here? Out of all the places?”

“I don’t know. I was at my old place too. It’s a storehouse for the restaurant these days.”

“Yeah? Well, I don’t really get why you’re here and what you’re doing. I’m sorry.” 

“I can’t look at it.”

“Look at what?”

“My masters.”

Silence. You can watch him as he processes what you said. You can also see how he is trying so hard to be supportive.

“Please don’t take it the wrong way, but why? I’m not judging, just having a hard time understanding this correctly.”

You cuddle closer. He always knows exactly what to say. It feels reassuring when he is honest. He might not understand, but he wants to. This is what unconditional love feels like. 

“Whenever I look at it, I feel sick. I fulfilled my biggest dream and I’m happy, but I also feel lost.”

“I see. Now I understand. It’s scary knowing that something as big as college is over, but didn’t you play with the idea of doing your PhDs too?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“See? It’s not over yet if you want to. You have all the choices in the world. You can open your praxis or pursue your doctor’s degree. You have all the possibilities in the world. I’ll support you in any of them.” 

“I guess.”

“Unless that’s what you’re lost with. Do you struggle with deciding?”

“I struggle with accepting the reality that I am something.”

“No, my love”, he gasps.

“I feel unworthy of it. I had this life”, you say, gesturing at the general direction of Paradis. “And now I have a Masters in psychology with chances of becoming a fucking doctor. It’s insane. I shouldn’t have this.”

“Yes, you should”, Jungkook insists loudly, furrowing his brows, “you worked so hard for it. I had to carry you to bed sometimes when you fell asleep by your desk because you were so exhausted from studying. Remember?” 

“Yeah.”

“See? You literally worked your ass off for it. You should have it, for fuck’s sake. You wanted it for years and I won’t let you feel like this now.” 

You and he stop in front of his car. He shakes you by your shoulders gently as if to shake you awake from your self-deprecating nightmare. 

“You’re intelligent, resourceful and hardworking, ambitious and resilient and you got your degree because of that. You are amazing and you worked hard for it. You deserve it.” 

You nod your head, but say nothing to it.

“Okay, my love?”

He looks at you. You look at your feet.

“Okay, my love?” he stresses, caressing your cheek gently.

“Jungkook, I miss my brother”, you confess what truly hurts so bad, instantly breaking into tears.

“Oh ___ my love, I’m sorry. Come here”, Jungkook gasps, wrapping his unoccupied arm around you.

You melt into his chest, sobbing into it while he holds you and comforts you. 

“He and I, we always fantasised about how it would be to become something. He always talked about sending me off to college one day. But he’s dead and he won’t ever see that I actually did it. He’s dead. Why is he fucking dead?”

“Oh my love. I’m sorry. Life is so unfair”, Jungkook gets out, crying with you.

“It hurts so bad. He was supposed to see me off to college and, and see me graduate.”

“He was. He really was”, Jungkook agrees, sobbing afterwards which gives you so much comfort. It feels so reassuring and comforting so cry with him. You don’t even mind crying for negative reasons when he is with you. 

“I feel so guilty. He was supposed to escape this life with me. We were supposed to get healthy and be happy.”

“You were, my love. But it’s not your fault. He wouldn’t want you to feel guilty for changing your life for the better.”

“I know, but it still hurts.”

You look up at Jungkook, spilling tears. He does as well, cradling your cheek.

“He was supposed to know you. He was supposed to walk me down the aisle and, and be happy for me because I fell in love with someone like you.”

Jungkook smiles, sniffling. 

“He was supposed to be there on my happiest days. Why did he have to die?”

“I don’t know and it’s so unfair.”

“It is. He, he was supposed to be there for me on those days. He was…” A sob interrupts you. Jungkook soothes it with gentle touches to your arms. “It hurts so much to know that he won’t ever see who I became. I will always stay this little, drug addicted orphan girl to him. It hurts so bad that I never became someone different to him.”

“No, my love no. I’m sure that his spirit is still somewhere out there and he watched you grow up and become who you are today, my love.”

“Do you really think that?” you ask, looking at him with child-like hopefulness in your eyes.

“I do. I’m sure he is currently looking down at you and he feels proud and happy.”

“I hope so”, you say and lower your head. Tears drip down from your cheeks. “Urgh god, I hate crying”, you get out, wiping at your own face aggressively.

“Hey no.” Jungkook stops you gently. “Don’t. You’ll hurt yourself.”

You look up at him while he holds your hands. He caresses your chin with the same hand, using his thumb for it.

“Let’s go home, okay?” he suggests in a soft voice. 

You nod your head.  

“Come on, I’ll drive.” 

You let him help you into the car. You stare outside as he drives off and you continue to stare outside as he drives through the city. It’s late and it's raining, which means that the streets are almost empty for a change. Jungkook doesn’t have the radio on. The purring of the car and the rain against the window are all the noises you hear. He has his hand on your thigh, giving you constant rubs of comfort. It’s warm and it’s nice.

You and he drove for a while when you break the silence.

“I’m sorry.”

He glances at you.

“For what?”

“For running off without warning. For being so ungrateful for my masters. For dumping all of my stuff on you.”

“I’m not even gonna play into this right now because there’s nothing for you to be sorry for”, Jungkook answers you with slight anger in his voice. He isn’t angry at you, but your self-deprecating use of words.

You hold his hand.

“I’m just so messy and you’re so good”, you confess. 

“You’re tired and you’re exhausted. Today was a very overwhelming day. Don’t believe your thoughts anymore, my love.”

You and he stop at a red light. 

“You love me, right?”

Jungkook instantly leans over to kiss you. First your lips, then your forehead.

“I love you so much”, he whispers, cradling your cheek and gazing deep into your eyes. “I love everything about you, even the messiest and darkest parts. I always have and always will.” 

You can’t bear to look into his eyes anymore, lowering your head shyly. The red light switches from red to green back to red again in the time you and he sit in the car and let his words sink in. The rain sounds calming as it hits the car. 

“What are you thinking right now?” he asks in a quiet, gentle voice. 

“A lot. Grief and guilt and, and… I guess, I’m thinking that I don’t feel overwhelmed anymore now that I talked about it with you.” 

“Yes? This makes me happy to hear. I’ll always be there for you. And I’ll always come and get you from wherever you run off to.” 

He makes you laugh. Jungkook laughs with you, kissing your forehead. The light switches to green. He takes this chance and drives off, holding your hand as he does.

“Jungkook, I wanna take a shower and then talk in bed”, you tell him.

“That sounds good. We’ll shower and then we’ll cuddle and you can tell me all about your brother.”

“But I already told you everything.”

“And? It won’t ever be boring to me.” 

“Oh.” 

A deep breath fills your lungs and as it leaves you again, you feel lighter. You rest your head against the window, looking at him. The rainy night city passes him, the changing lights paint the prettiest of artworks onto his face.

“You’re the best goddamn thing that ever happened to me.”

Jungkook squeezes your hand because that is all he can do right now in fear of looking away from traffic for too long.

“I can say the same about you, my love.”

[torikuna]

𝗺𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗻!𝗦𝘂𝗸𝘂𝗻𝗮 𝗮𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗼𝘆𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱

warnings: mdni, profanity, angst but also fluff lil bit lol, petname (doll), modern!sukuna x fem!reader (he’s around 25-26 yo, reader in early 20s)

your first meeting wasn’t very nice, but memorable. you were in a hurry to run errands, but suddenly you crashed into someone’s back and fell to the ground. you looked up and see a tall man in front of you, looking at you with cold crimson eyes over his shoulder, his hands in his pockets. in response to your apology, he called you a “pathetic, stupid bitch”

after that, you crossed paths a couple of times and somehow found a common language at Sukuna’s initiative. he probably said that you’re a “debtor” now because he forgave you lol

your relationship progressed slowly because it took Sukuna some time to understand and acknowledge his feelings

ofc he won't do that. you’re close to him because ��i’m still not tired of you” (his words)

he is a harsh, rude, manipulative, immoral, selfish narcissist

but these qualities partially disappear in him when it comes to you

he always walks around with a frown, cold and emotionless expression on his face, but inside he’ll worry about you

tsundere. ᐢ ̥_ ̫ _ ̥ᐢ…

is something bothering you? he’ll try to comfort you by stroking your head or holding you in his lap with his arms tightly around your waist. but he won’t be able to find the right words, so he’ll just solve all your problems himself

but sometimes he can say something like “brat, calm down, your tears are annoying me.” and leaves you alone

he’s very unpredictable and you’ll have to get used to it.

more about his caring side. he should always be aware of your well-being. are you feeling sick? tell him. are you hurt? tell him. he’ll do anything to make you feel better ᡴꪫ‎

he’s doing this not because he loves you, but because “don’t die, brat, i’ve a grandiose plans on you”

he likes it when your attention is completely focused on him, so he likes to spend time with you

usually you spend dates in restaurants. “get ready, i’ll pick you up at 8pm” and he’ll ask you to wear your sexiest dress so he can show you off

what if someone bothers you? "i’ll destroy the whole world for you." he’ll kill anyone who disrespects you. does this bother you? no, you love it.

actually, i don’t think he’s very jealous and argues with you about this, rather he has boundaries of what is permitted

his eyes are always on you, anywhere, so this “pathetic fucking trash” (men) doesn’t go beyond these boundaries

“did i give permission to touch her?” /he killed him/ㅠㅠ

when he's in a bad mood he'll just take you in that sexy dress to show everyone who you belong to

he’ll fuck you all night, leaving marks on your skin while you beg him to forgive you. your hands are pinned to the bed above your head etc

“you sorry? heh, five minutes ago you didn’t look like you were sorry”, “you’re only mine.. sigh that guy can’t fuck you the way i do. only i can touch you”, “i know you like it.. sigh you needy, dirty doll, just cum for me”

he’s possessive.

the next day it’ll hurt to walk ଘ(|lI.‸.)

he resolves other conflicts with you diplomatically, but sometimes he can be quite rude and impulsive

but this rarely happens, because after this he feels guilty. yes, he knows what guilt is, but he’ll never apologize :)

in general he rarely snaps at you, mostly his attitude is special, he treats you like a princess

while he hates everyone around, you can calmly come up to him at any time and hug him and he won’t mind

and also he protects you from curses, men and rude ppl around you

btw, when at night he pulls you closer to him, hugging you tightly while your head lies on his chest and you feel his heavy and even breathing, it’s not because he likes it, but because you need to be protected (that’s what he calls it)

people around you don't understand how you can date him, he can kill you at any moment. everyone is afraid of him

but not you.

he’s secretly grateful to you for your attitude towards him. you were never afraid of him, you always treated him with understanding and kindness

you’re the one who will show him what love is, you’ll teach him this. it’s “i don't believe in love” and “i’ll show you what love can be” trope <з

he himself doesn’t know what attracted him to you, but he knows for sure that you’re the only person who evokes a storm of emotions in him, making his heart beat uncomfortably fast, awakening feelings unfamiliar to him

and he finds it interesting. he finds you interesting.

[goldengleams]

Can you do a “things that make sense as a boyfriend” for jack please?? :)

here you go!!!

jack is definitely a softie

like he won’t admit it or ask to cuddle you but if you’re laying down in bed or on the couch he will for sure be laying right on your boobs

lowkey not great at texting back but he knows this so he tries to leave you little love notes around the house every once in a while to make up for it

isn’t a huge fan of pda but will always, always have a hand on your back at all times

also loves to walk like, directly next to you

like you’ll be out on a walk and jack is just…in your space

“j, move over, im tripping over you.”

“trippin, stumblin,”

“im literally going to shove you off the curb!”

jack is private but not shy

but it does take a while for him to introduce you to the fam because he’s nervous about the attention

but to combat this…

i feel like jack would pay attention to the videos you watch and where you’ve said you want to travel

“babe, wake up!”

“jack, it’s 7 in the morning, go back to bed!”

“fine, but if you want to get up, we can get on a flight to your favorite beach by noon.”

“…”

“you’re insane. but also yes, i am up.”

spontaneous when he has time!!

will always be down to try out new restaurants or walk around in nyc

im gonna go with you living in nyc/nj because i see jack with a city girl

you’re always teasing him about not knowing how to drive and always ordering rides instead of taking the subway

jack isn’t overly protective but he definitely wants to make sure you get home safe every night

oh to add onto the city thing

jack would 100% go do all of the christmas stuff with you

like he’s beaming when he sees your eyes light up at the sights of the busiest city around the holidays

mans lives to make you smile

definitely competitive

like is obsessed with watching sports and playing against you in fantasy football

already has stupid shit planned for you because he’s determined that you’re going to lose

“im only losing because you and luke were scheming against me!”

“better luck next time baby!”

not good at cooking but does like to bake with you

(side note: will literally never admit to anyone that he enjoys watching the great british baking show with you. never)

easygoing, so fights don’t happen that much

but he will get snippy with you around the beginning of the season

and if he’s hurt…

“jack, im just trying to help you, you put yourself in more pain trying to put your shirt on alone.”

“I don’t want help, ive got it. go away.”

will be the first one to apologize after a fight

gets emotional over you because jack cares about you a lot, just sometimes isn’t the best at communication

but once you guys talk he is smothering you in a big hug and wiping your tears away

ellen taught this man well obviously

lets you say what he wasn’t ready to hear before and like actually understands you

“I love you, always will.”

“love you too, j.”

Just a few thoughts for you!! Send in some more requests and I’ll try to do them in between my finals!!

[yikimiki]

Bbbbbrrrrrr ok how about some toxic relationship headcanons (mayhaps w make up sex?) forr Sukuna, Toji, Geto, Megumi if you accept multiples otherwise I'm be happy w/ whichever you'd rather write for !

Since it’s four characters I’ll write one big headcanon for each ♥️

⚠️ warnings: toxic/abusive relationships, smut, dark content, gaslighting, mentions of violence (not directed at reader), fem!reader, crying, make-up sex, possessive/jealous behavior

💕 toji: the absent gaps of your relationship makes you more anxious than you’d care to admit. Toji is there one day, showering you with love, with the most amazing sex, and then he’s gone for the next couple of months like you were nothing but a good time. You only know he’s alive when he shows up again at your door, dirty and needy, and takes your body like it’s his second nature — he always takes and takes, but never gives. He uses your house, eats your food, shatters your heart and leaves without an explanation. Toji fucks you deep, possessively, with the tone of a man who is used to violence, and you can do nothing but allow him to take it. “You’re all mine, pretty girl,” he mumbles one night, and you’re not sure you believe it. You ask him to stay, like you always do, but he ignores it — like he always does. “If I ever see you with someone else… fuck, I’ll kill him on the spot. You’re all fucking mine.”

💕sukuna: like the certainty that the sun will rise again tomorrow, he’s sure that you’re going to be his forever — so for you to dare (try) to break up with him… well, that just goes against everything he has planned. All the years by your side gone, crumbling to dust, because you think you know better than he does. Sukuna makes sure you’re going to remember this, that you’re not going to try anything funny again because: “You’re fucking mine forever, you understand? You’re the air that I fucking breathe,” He says, groaning as you clamp around him, tears staining your eyelashes. You’re broken down underneath him, whining and apologizing, but he doesn’t care. You have to learn. “Don’t you ever leave me again, baby, because I’m not letting you get away. Ever.”

💕getou: there’s a bloody, metallic taste on your mouth as he kisses you when he gets home, and you never ask why. You know Getou gets into fights sometimes, and he tells you they’re all because of you. He tells you that he hates the guys at your work, hates that you talk to other men — because he’s everything you’ll ever need — and hates that you flirt (yes, flirt) with them. Like they’d ever have a chance with you. Getou always says that you’re too slutty, even if you cover up, even if you promise you won’t talk to anyone else. Then he says you’re just pretty and stupid, that you don’t know what you do to people. “But I’ll protect you forever, princess,” he says, and you know from the blood on his face that he’s serious about it. “Just never forget who you belong to.”

💕 megumi: he’s quiet and direct with you, and that is a double-edged blade when it comes to Megumi. Sometimes, it’s good to know what he’s thinking, no secrets between you two, but then you step out of line and Megumi makes sure that you remember his words forever. “You know you’re going to be alone without me, right? No one is going to deal with your whiny, dramatic behavior like I do.” He speaks calmly like the wind, but it hurts, it hurts so bad that you cry and ask him to leave you alone. You don’t even know what you did wrong, but he doesn’t care to answer. “Quit it. I’m just being honest, not my fault you’re so annoying. Come here.” And you do. You always fall into his arms, into his bed, because it’s the only place of comfort that he allows you to have.

[estrellami-1]

If I Should Stay

Ngl, I kinda forgot I was trying to do this in alternating POVs. That… kinda failed for a minute. Oops. But here’s Robin! And Wayne!

Part 1 | . . . | Part 35 | Part 36 | Part 37

“How could I have him and lose him in the same moment?” Steve asks, and he sounds so sad that Robin wants to wrap him in a hug and about four fuzzy blankets and give him hot cocoa and kill whoever made him sad. Except, she thinks, that would be Eddie, which would really just make Steve even more sad-

She stops her train of thought.

“Want me to go yell at him again? It worked the first time,” she says, just a hint of a grin in her voice, and it works because Steve sounds further from tears next time he speaks.

They joke a little more, until she feels comfortable leaving him, and when he drops her off at home she barely drops her things inside before bolting to grab her bike.

She pedals hard all the way to Forest Hills. She’s about to dump her bike before she sees Wayne on the front porch, smoking, so she carefully lays it down instead.

“Afternoon,” he says.

“Hi, Mr. Wayne,” she replies politely. “Is Eddie home?”

He tells her no, that he’s gone to apologize to Steve, and invites her in for tea and a talk. She thinks for a second before mentally shrugging and accepting.

He holds the door open for her and begins talking as he grabs a mug. She’s delighted to see that the inside reads, You’ve been poisoned! and says as much.

Wayne grins. “‘S become a habit of mine, collecting these mugs. My momma always said there ain’t much a cup of tea can’t fix, and I’ve found she’s right. Plus, havin’ a fun mug lifts your spirits.”

Robin chuckles. “That it does.”

“Now,” Wayne says, turning to face her. “I’m guessin’ you’re here to kick my nephew’s ass again.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Sir.” Wayne makes a face. “I’ve got a good name that none o’you younguns ever uses. Call me Wayne.”

Robin giggles. “Will do, Wayne.”

Wayne nods. “Good. Now, ‘bout Eddie. You let me say my piece, and I’ll let you decide whether or not he deserves another kick in the ass. Fair?”

“Fair,” Robin agrees.

“Alright then. My Eddie’s not a bad kid, though I’m guessing you know that.” He pauses to take a sip of his tea. “Sometimes he does things without thinking them through, just like everyone. Sometimes people scare him.” Her hackles raise, and Wayne raises placating hands. “I’m not saying any of this is your Steve’s fault. All I’m sayin’ is, people do stupid things when they’ve been hurt in the past.”

Robin cocks her head. “Eddie was hurt?”

Wayne hums around another sip. “The details ain’t mine to give, but yes. He was. Just about a year ago now. I almost had a stupid reaction to what he told me.”

“What stopped you?”

Wayne shrugs. “Experience, partially. But you helped too.”

Her eyes widen. “Me?”

“Yup. See, Eddie’s real observant. So when he came t’me a few months ago, talkin’ ‘bout how he thought you were the same as him, I had an idea of the kinda person you are. No tolerance for idiots, at least those who aren’t your friends. Loyal to those who are. And I thought, now why would she stick around him if he’s that kinda person? And I came to the conclusion that he’s not. Or he’s not intentionally. So. Pair that with the way Eddie’d been acting, and I had a pretty good idea of what was goin’ on.”

Robin nods. “Y’know what Steve said to him?”

Wayne hums. “Somethin’ bout how he’d never been with another guy?”

Robin nods again. “Exactly. And to have Eddie react like that…”

Wayne sighs and tips his head back until he’s looking at the ceiling. “Lord knows I love that boy,” he murmurs. “But he sure does know how to get himself into trouble.”

Robin grins. “And how to get himself out of trouble?”

Wayne snorts and looks at her. “Outta the frying pan, into the fire, more like.”

Robin giggles. “Yeah, I kinda got that impression.”

Just then the phone rings, and Wayne raises a brow at it, then sighs and stands to answer it, waving Robin down when she starts to stand as well,

“Munson residence, y’got Wayne.” He hums. “Wayne’s just fine, son, none‘a that Mr. Munson crap. She is, I’ll hand it over in just a second. My nephew apologize to you yet?” A grunt. “Good. Here she is.” He waves her over, and she hurriedly swallows a sip of tea before hopping over to the phone. “Steve?”

“Hey. The little shit found Dart.”

Robin breathes out a laugh. “Jesus. D’we gotta kill it and live with his sad face now?”

“That’s the thing, though, is it did help. He fuckin’ domesticated the thing.”

“Okay, so which one of us is gonna tell him?” She asks, in a tone that means it’s gonna be Steve.

He laughs, “well I’m not gonna tell him.”

“The fuck you’re not,” she argues, “you’re his second mom, dingus, it sure as shit ain’t gonna be me.”

He squawks, “I am not his-”

She hangs up on him with a satisfying click and a smug grin.

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[steampunk-raven]

Me to a medical professional: I have pretty mild allodynia

Medical professionals, without fail: Oh, ok! Unfortunately I can’t do this procedure without touching you, but I’ll be as careful as possible! If anything hurts or is even remotely uncomfortable please let me know, and I’ll stop immediately!

Me to a medical professional: I have very severe haphephobia, which is a phobia of touch. I know you can’t do this procedure without touching me, but please be careful, because if not I will have a very bad panic attack and cause considerable harm to myself and anything around me. Also, I’m probably going to need extra support regardless, because it’s very severe and I’d probably have a panic attack regardless.

Medical professionals, without fail: Sorry baby, I know this kind of thing is hard 🥺 but you’re just going to have to be brave, ok? *proceeds to touch me as much as possible*

haphephobia and allodynia are a hilarious combo to have at the same time lol (also kinda fun to compare)

[nocturnalrorobin]

A little bit of Heaven

Nico Robin x f! Reader x Nami

Cw: Mistress kink, Sir kink, threesome, inappropriate use of Devil Fruit powers, toys. That said, the focus is on Aftercare.

Thank you, @lockes-woods , for all your wonderful stories, my friend! I hope you enjoy. 💛

Minors DNI

Hours. It had been hours. You always were so close, but Robin always stopped just before, just like Nami told her to. Nami laid on her back on the bed, a hand created by Robin held both of her hands above her head. You knelt above Nami, eagerly sucking and biting her nipple. Your clit was perfectly lined up with hers, two more hands created by Robin spawned out of Nami’s thigh, one held a needle vibrator that quietly buzzed between both clits, and the other hand thrusted deep into Nami’s pussy. Your arms were held behind your back by Robin's hand, and the both of you were connected by a double sided vibrator.

“S-Sir, Mi..” You couldn’t finish your sentence, a violent orgasm washed over you as Robin fucked into you from behind.

SMACK!

Robins spank on your ass brought you back from your high. “Oh my, such a naughty little flower.” She chuckled, clearly enjoying herself.

Nami lifted your face with her index finger and looked sternly at you. “Who gave you permission to cum little treasure?”

“I’m sorry, Mistress and Sir. It just felt so good. I’ll be good, I promise.” Both Nami and Robin smiled at each other.

“Can you be a good girl and give us one more? Me and Mistress are close too.” Robin rubbed gentle circles into your back, and you nodded. “Words dear.”

“Yes Sir.” You panted as Nami pulled you in for a kiss. Robin increased the strength of the two vibrators, hir hips smacking onto your ass cheeks each time they met. Nami hungrily kissed you while being fucked by Robin and feeling the vibrator on both of your clits and it didn’t take long for the three of you to reach your highs finally. Your bodies glistened with sweat, and the three of you collapsed onto one another completely out of breath. You cuddled close to Nami who was drawing soothing circles on your back.

Robin smiled at the view and got up to put on water for a bath. She poured in some soothing salts and bubbles. Next, she made sure to light some candles so you wouldn't need to use the bright lights and could just relax. She returned to the bedroom, took you and Nami by her hand, and led you to the bath. The tub was big enough to fit the three of you, and you sat between Robin's legs, which was your favorite spot, and Nami was opposite of you lovingly rubbing your feet.

“How are you feeling? Does anything hurt?” Robin kissed the crown of your head, and her arms were wrapped around you. Robin was worried that Nami’s endless bitemarks on your neck and breasts might hurt or that she herself overdid it.

“I’m fine, maybe a bit tired or rather exhausted, I guess. My nipples hurt a little, and maybe some of the bite marks might be a bit sore.” You thought for a second if there was anything else. “Otherwise I’m fine.”

“I’m sorry if I was too rough with you, my little treasure. I will make sure to take care of your bitemarks when we get out.” Nami apologized and gingerly kissed your toes. “But promise us that if it ever gets too much, you will use your safeword. Robin and I sometimes worry that you just bear it or are afraid to say anything because you think we would be disappointed.” Her brown eyes seemed to pierce your soul at that moment.

You felt heat rising to your face. You didn’t know this was a concern of theirs. “What? No! I love everything you do for me. If I really don’t like anything, I promise I’ll use the safeword.” You usually make sure to make aftercare of your doms as well, but maybe you neglected to tell them how much you enjoy it. After that, the three of you sat in silence just enjoying each other's company until it was time to wash up.

While you and Nami got comfortable on the bed, Robin went to the kitchen where she prepared snacks with Sanji and made tea for herself and Nami and a hot chocolate for you. She topped it with whipped cream and tiny marshmallows that were heart-shaped. Sanji, ever the caring cook, wanted to prepare a nutritious meal for his three mademoiselle, but Robin declined with a laugh. “You should rather take care of your Mossend. No?” She winked at him, and he tried to hide a blush. Their relationship was still new, and he easily blushed when someone said something. He helped her carry everything back to their shared bedroom and then excused himself.

“Here, my lovely little flower, drink up.” She handed you the hot chocolate and kissed your forehead. Then she went to Nami and smiled at her. “Here you go, Mistress.” She pulled her into a kiss before joining them on the bed with her own cup of tea. Robin looked at you the way you munched your little marshmallows before drinking the chocolate, she thought it was adorable. “The next Island is a amusementpark Island correct?” She asked Nami while looking at her mug.

“Yeah it is! But there is so much to do, part of the island is even just a spa, so it’s not just an amusement park, you can relax there too. There is also a waterpark and… “ Nami couldn’t continue, you interrupted her.

“Theres a part of an island that only focuses on kink, sex and has love hotels. In fact I booked us a room.” You said dryly while enjoying your coco. The mouths of your two lovers fell open. They did not expect that. “I also booked a room in the spa for the days after. You said we will stay for about a week so I thought we should use that time wisely and besides you are always so good to me, I want to return the favour and take good care of you.” You winked at them.

“Well well my little Treasure is full of surprises.” Nami pinched your cheek with affection.

“My. You are such a sweet thing. I love you, little flower!” Robin chuckled and pulled you in for a deep kiss. Nami did the same right after. The three of you spend the night talking, enjoying the snacks and cuddling with each other, until eventually you feel asleep in each other's arms.

[truebluehue]

ahhhhhhh! Jake sully with a pregnant mate. She'll just be all pouty and teary eyed due to hormones and just won't leave him alone. Sometimes she'll follow him around while he's doing his olo'eyktan duties and just sit there all sad untill he touches her in anyway. Sometimes she wants to cuddle, sometimes she wants him to lift her bump, sometimes her hormones are a bit crazy...She'll just be really clingy the whole pregnancy and emotional tbh 💀

sorry im late. had to get smokes. please take this drabble as an apology.

A small look into pregnant life with Jake.

Jake was the happiest man alive when you told him you were pregnant. The love of his life pregnant with a possible miniature you? How could he not be ecstatic! And Jake would do anything for you. All you had to do was ask. So when you randomly walked up to him with a pout, he was ready to start a war for you. “Ma’Jake, there is something I want to try but I need your help.” You stand next to him, rubbing your stomach in soft circles.

Jake immediately pauses what he was doing and rushes to stand. “What is it? Is it a craving? Is your back hurting?”

“Mawey. Stand behind me please. Good. Now,” you put his hands under your stomach, “lift gently.”  For the next 20 minutes Jake just holds up your stomach, content to just hold his whole world in his hands. 

But not every moment is this easy. Cravings? Jake is already hunting it down. Aches? Massaged away. But the clinginess is something he’s not used to, and apparently it’s his fault? “You seem more stressed when you can't see me. You’re protective of us.” You say during dinner one night. “Why stress the both of us.”

And yes maybe Jake does wake up sometime just to make sure you and the baby are okay.

Or he finds a way to bring you with him during his olo'eyktan duties.

Or tries to hunt as fast as he can to return.

He just wants to protect his little fortress. Even though that fortress currently gives him emotional whiplash.

“NOTHING FITS.” You try on and toss nearly every piece of clothing you own. You only calm when you find that ONE last loincloth that fits your bump. Jake doesn’t mention that it was actually his.

“Everything hurts and it's your fault. Though i do still love you.” Jake can only watch as you waddle away.

“Would you love me as a worm?”

“No.” 

“But what if I was a hot worm?”

“Worms aren’t hot.”

Sniffles can be heard. “But you told me you’d love me no matter what!”

Sighs. “I’ll still love you as a worm, but there will be boundaries.”

All in all, Jake wouldn’t trade his life for the world.

[apocalypticwafflekitten]

The Call

Ex!Catholic John MacTavish x Ex!Catholic Reader

A/N: This is kind of a Part 1.5 to my I Promise You, Bonnie, It’s Okay fic. I’m working on Part 2, but this happened in the meantime!

Original Imagine/Summary Thingy: The Reader follows through with their promise; Johnny makes an offer.

Warnings: 18+, No Minors, Mature Themes and Discussions*✨if you’re younger than 18 or have no age in your bio, I will not hesitate to block you.✨ Discussing Sex (not explicitly), Guilt Associated with Sex, Johnny having a massive crush on the Reader.

*While this part doesn't contain explicit sex, there are still mature themes and discussion about sex. I'm also labelling this as 18+ since Part 2 will be sexually explicit

Word Count: ~500 /Divider: @cafekitsune

Italics = Reader’s Dialogue over the Phone

Masterlist / Next Part >

“Johnny?”

He’s barely awake. It’s 3:30am. His grunt is groggy at best.

“I’m sorry Johnny. I didn’t mean to wake you, I mean, I guess I did, but I just got home and I— I feel guilty. So I’m calling. Like I promised.”

He sits right up, his nervous system lighting up at the sound of your voice - at what you said. He does his best to shake the sleep from his voice.

“Ye don’t need to apologize hen. I made you promise to call.”

“I know, I just feel bad. It’s so late.”

“I said I’d answer. No matter the time.” He says gently, hoping to reassure you.

He hears you hum over the line. You sound unsure. Johnny fiddles with the edge of his blue comforter.

“Where are ye hen?”

“Just made it home. Couldn’t stay the night.”

“Hookup?”

“Yeah.”

The line is silent for a moment and Johnny wonders what’s on your mind.

“Didn’t want to cry in front of a stranger.”

And fuck, if that doesn’t wake Johnny up. He’s one word away from bolting out of bed, throwing on the nearest clothes he can find, and heading to your place.

“What do ye need bonnie?”

Your breathing hitches over the phone, and when you speak your words are pushed out through a sob.

“I don’t know.”

“That’s okay. It’s okay hen. What are ye feelin?”

“Like…like I’m stupid. Stupid for thinking this time would be different. I thought…I thought getting it all off my chest would help. I thought telling someone who understands would make things better, but I was wrong.”

Your sob crackles through the phone and listening to you try to catch your breath to speak, and not being there with you hurts something deep inside of Johnny.

“I mean, talking with you helped. But not as much as I was hoping. Tonight…I didn’t even…I mean, they didn’t either. I had to stop in the middle of everything and I just…left. It hurt too much Johnny. I couldn’t stop thinking about what I told you.”

Johnny’s heart is in his throat. He can feel the lump and he can’t swallow it down. It’s like it’s pushing something up his throat - like something is trying to break free.

He’s not even thinking when he starts to speak.

“Y’know bonnie, if you wanted…I could help you.”

He can almost picture your confused face when he hears the tone of your voice.

“How?”

“You could come over sometime. Or I could come to you. Whatever makes you more comfortable. And we could…y’know—I’d be there for ye. Walk you through things; make sure you don’t feel guilty about any of it.”

Fuck, why is he so flustered? Why is it so hard to make a simple suggestion? And why aren't you saying anything?

“We don’t have to a’course! I just wanted to throw it out as an option. There’s no pressure at all and—“

“Johnny?”

He takes a breath.

“Yeah hen?”

“Come by my place tomorrow? Eight pm?”

Johnny’s heart skips and his whole body warms.

“Yeah bonnie. I’ll be there.”

[nalyra-dreaming]

Chryed3 said: Like you I like complicated stories with well layered characters and therefore have been drawn to the writings of Anne Rice. Prefacing by saying , even though the vampires are monsters, I love them for their imperfections—very human. I’ve been rereading the books and faithfully watching the TV series. Chef kisses to Rolin Jones team. Of course including the actors. I’m a Loustat cheerleader but also enjoy the other multiple relations throughout the series.

However, what I keep returning to over and over is Louis’ betrayal of Lestat. Having been on this planet myself for over 70 years and in a few relationships I know how devastated I was when a soon-to-be ex-lover had not been trustworthy, lied, and, or being too personal, just devastated me, the relationship etc. And then for Louis to silently agree to “We’re going to kill Lestat” had to break Lestat’s heart and soul. There’s no going back. (I know, Lestat can be very forgiving) But even centuries of living can’t change or annul that deep hurt.

But Lestat, monster that he is, is almost a sweetheart in that regard and I know we’re going to see it, but Louis needs to step up to the plate-. (having read the books I know he eventually does)

All of this to say , THAT is the moment I want to see. And that is when I’ll cry my eyes out in relief. Once again, I know we’ll get there but, gosh, sometimes I just want to slap Louis and say, “Snap out of I!” and I’ve never hit anyone in my life. That’s how great Jacob is doing his job and that’s how annoying Louis can be to evoke such feelings. No wonder Jacob asked people not to hate Louis. Jacob is doing such a great jog that whoa, it’s difficult not to be annoyed🙂

Love your blog. Sorry for the long post.

________

No apologies necessary :)))

And sending you a big hug for that emotional pain you have endured :/ I hope the wounds are healing, truly 💕

And yes - it had to break Lestat's heart to hear that. And I firmly believe that this is part of what sent him spiraling, though not all of course. But the pain of knowing the betrayal, before it happens? To wait for it? Stifling pain.

I think that is why "murder night" was almost a relief, finally. It happened, the dice were rolling, and with it came acceptance.

Louis says it in s1, but time offers perspective, and when Louis and Lestat will meet again properly - not at the trial I mean - then they both will have had time to reflect, to digest. To change, just a bit.

I mean, that is what happens with Lestat in the books, too, doesn't it. And Louis. They both get the time to let the feeling pass... and return to the longing for the other.

We, as mortals, usually do not have this extra time. We do not have 50 to 70 years we can sit back and just wallow in the feeling of betrayal, until it's diluted enough for us to move on from it.

Some people may be able to do it faster.

But I think it speaks for itself that even Lestat wasn't able to do it faster. I mean... we'll see it how they spin it at the trial, but even later, much later, there is still a certain pettiness between them, a certain grudge, that exists.

And in the show... I think one cannot quite say if the Lestat reaching out to Louis there via Armand (in 2x05) has already stomached the betrayal. Because it is one thing to have an acute point of worry, which this is, and another to forgive the other when they're back whole and safe and sound.

And so I think that... the decades apart is what offers them perspective. And forgiveness. Just like in the book.

And I think Anne was painfully aware when she wrote it like this. I'm not sure "we" could forgive like that. But... they, other than we do, have the time.

[heeheesang]

ʂƚɾαɳɠҽɾ ∂αɳɠҽɾ ₊˚⊹ ᰔ

four -> yn's past. (my apologies for the long chapter🥹)

“yn! that’s literally so funny what—“ byul, elle and i were cut off from laughing as we accidentally bumped into o ur seniors. “oh, sorry.” elle apologised as the three of us bowed as an apology for bumping into them. i looked up to see the three people i least expected to see, jay, ni-ki and jungwon.

“oh, please don’t worry about it.” jay reassured us as elle’s smile widened, meeting eyes with the older male as we bowed again. “aren’t you three auditioning for the new hybe survival show..? if i’m not wrong, you’re kim wonbyul.. kim elle..? and you’re yoon yn.” jay asked when the air became thicker.

“ah yes… we’re happy to meet you..?” i said, trying to form words since we were still new to bumping into idols and all. “was that a question or were you actually forming a sentence?” riki chuckled as i rolled my eyes playfully, “let her off riks, she’s new to this. well, we have to get going but it was nice meeting you.” jungwon said as he stared directly into my eyes.

what? does he wanna kiss me or something what’s with the attitude change?

i scoffed softly as i made an excuse, “sorry i have to attend to this.” i said rolling my eyes as i looked directly at jungwon. maybe i shouldn’t have done that, maybe i should’ve. that’s nothing compared to what he did to me in high school. he should’ve learnt his lesson by now, right?

“yoon yn. YOON YN!” elle yelled back for me as tears dropped down my cheeks, turnimg around as i faced her. “what.. elle. what is it? i’m sorry for acting up but.. i’m sorry go on with the dance practice without me, i’ll just see you next episode.” i said as i smiled through my tears, elle was about to open her mouth again but i just went up to her and hugged her, “i’m fine don’t worry about me.”

i walked past the walkways and got to a dark spot where i always went to if i needed to release my thoughts into space. i was wearing a grey tank with a beanie and some sweatpants as the cold wind brushed my hair, fuck i should’ve brought a jacket. i sighed and took out a stick, lighting it up as i inhaled a puff and let the smoke disperse in the air.

did i deserve that in high school? maybe it was a wake up call… but still, jungwon didn’t start a ‘call yn a slut’ chain, some stupid juniors did. maybe he isn’t all bad, am i thinking too much? jeonghan would hate me if i ever forgave jungwon this quick. jungwon didn’t really hurt me, just mentally and emotionally. again, it’s my fault for pushing him to be in a relationship with me… i knew he was emotionally unready or unstable a few weeks into our relationship so why didn’t he say anything?

“you know… sometimes it’s good to let your members know where you go. and it’s best to let your brother know where you went,” a familiar voice struck in my head as i snapped out of my thoughts, taking another puff of the tobacco flavoured stick as he sighs, “look yn… what i did back then—“

“please. no.” i cut him off as he pointed to the seat next to mine, i nodded and made a big space between us as i took yet another puff. “your friends and your brother are worried. they started coming after me because you talked about me..?” jungwon admitted as he sighed deeply and i nodded, “sorry about them.”

up til now, i hadn’t spared him a single glance. “yn, can we talk?” jungwon asked as he faced me, “we are talking.” i said, before he took my stick and threw it on the floor and used his foot to stop the fire from burning, turning me slowly to face him.

“please?” he said in a soft voice that i almost melted at, i nodded my head.

“i was stupid to say that you cheated, you obviously didn’t and i was at fault. i wasn’t very responsible as a boyfriend and i was seen with multiple girls and i said i had no time for our dates. i’ll be honest, i was jealous of seeing you spend more time with wonwoo than me.. so i made my schedule packed with tutees… i realised how stupid i was to think that i was in the right to tell everyone you chested and those juniors… called you names… because of me.” he took a deep breath to continue but i out my finger to his lips and shook my head with a deep sigh.

“look jungwon. i’m leaving that in the past, i’m happy, i’m glad you realised what you did wrong. i’ve tried everyway to avoid you but i guess the world just isn’t on my side. if we’re going to be label mates then, hello i’m yoon yn. what’s your name?” i said as i offered my hand, “yang jungwon, nice to meet you yn.”

“nice to meet you too asshat.”

masterlist | back | next

taglist! @rosas-in-the-garden @ilikekpop-c @aloloveswonie @jwonistic @drunkhee @h4918ymc @huieee @xiaoderrrr @ilovejungwonandhaechan @yourssincerely-mimi @n1k1mura @nnana2

hhs’ notes! double update!! omg the amount of support on this smau is insane like actually insane i love you all so much especially my readers from my last smau🥹🫶🏻 jungwon and yn making progress..! how do we feel? honetsly so much mixed feelings right now but like… better chapters to come that will cure our curiousity😭 as always, thank you for reading and enjoying this chapter, i’ll see you on the next chapter! i love you all so much mwah mwah mwah🥹🫶🏻🫶🏻

[midnightsslut]

the whole cardigan/Peter parallels are messing my head can u explain

okay so peter is actually one of my favorite songs on the album for this reason! I think it has parallels to a lot of other songs, not just cardigan. the first thing to get out of the way is the cardigan lyric about peter and wendy: ‘tried to change the ending, peter losing wendy.’ now, that line doesn’t make a ton of sense because peter losing wendy is the ending of peter pan (idk I’ve never seen it and never thought I’d spend this long thinking about them), but I think what she’s saying is that he tried to change the ending of *their* story to peter losing wendy. peter loses her because she outgrows him, while he remains a ‘lost boy’ forever. the cardigan demo has an alternate lyric where peter actually *leaves* wendy. this does not happen in the original story, and to me, it reads like betty (eh, I don’t think those characters existed when she wrote that song, but bear with me) is accusing him of trying to change their fate by leaving her. peter is meant to always come back to wendy. *she* is the one who eventually leaves him. either way, cardigan ends with them together. yay for betty and/or taylor.

now, peter was written 3-4 years later, and it is the conclusion of a story about outgrowing someone despite truly wanting them back. the ending was not, in fact, changed. she did outgrow him. very sad. I actually want to go lyric by lyric, but I’ll put a cut just in case.

Forgive me Peter

My lost fearless leader

In closets like cedar

Preserved from when we were just kids

Is it something I did

the song starts with taylor trying to figure out what went wrong. did she do something wrong to crush these dreams of theirs? she kept him in a closet of cedar (where unmarried women kept their belongings that they would want to take with them after getting married) in her mind, but things didn’t work out anyway. the first line being ‘forgive me, peter’ indicates that she is the one who pulled the plug, and she’s apologizing for it. again, she isn’t entirely sure what went wrong, which, to me, is a clear parallel to how did it end.

The goddess of timing

Once found us beguiling

She said she was trying

Peter was she lying

My ribs get the feeling she did

when they first met, the timing seemed to be perfect for their relationship (‘the goddess of timing *once* found us beguiling’), but that didn’t last. the goddess of timing claimed that she tried, but nothing could save them. taylor even wonders if she lied, which suggests a lack of faith in higher powers like fate or deities. this verse introduces timing as a major conflict in the story. ‘are you really gonna talk about timing in times like these?’

Said you were gonna grow up

Then you were gonna come find me

Words from the mouths of babes

Promises, oceans deep

But never to keep

peter went away, but he promised to come down once he was ready for a relationship. yes, this kind of applies to both of the main storylines on the album. you could take this to mean that they actually broke up a decade ago but promised to get back together, or you could assume there was some sort of break to their relationship, which she and joe did have. i kind of took it to mean that he wasn’t fully committed to the relationship, but he promised to be eventually. again, the renegade lyric, but also ‘i’m a fire, and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm if your cascade ocean wave blues come’ and ‘I’d hold you as the water rushes in,’ both of which are grand promises that neither party could keep.

Are you still a mind reader?

A natural scene stealer

I've heard great things Peter

But life was always easier on you

Than it was on me

he is charismatic. his magnetic field is a little too strong. he can read people. but he’s also fragile and inexperienced (‘he was a hothouse flower to my outdoorsman’). he may be able to read people, but things have been way too easy for him to ever understand a truly hurt person fully.

And sometimes it gets me

When crossing your jet stream

We both did the best we could do underneath the same moon

In different galaxies

And I didn't want to hang around

We said it was just goodbye for now

this is the thesis statement of their relationship to me. obviously, there’s the call it what you want parallel, but more importantly, it shows that the two people really wanted this to work. they just came from completely different places in their lives and perhaps the entire universe. this verse seems to reference the epilogue (‘resentment rotting away galaxies we created’ / ‘some stars never align’). they learned the right steps to different dances, if you will. she knew he needed time, so she left temporarily.

And I won't confess that I waited

But I let the lamp burn

As the men masqueraded

I hoped you'd return

With your feet on the ground

Tell me all that you'd learned

Cause love's never lost when perspective is earned

she does get with other men, but she keeps longing for him. she wishes that he would return with a grasp on reality and be the man she needs. if anything, the time away would give him the perspective he needs to ground himself. interesting parallel to ‘I said I don’t mind / it takes time’ in loml.

And you said you'd come and get me but you were 25

And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired

Lost to the lost boys chapter of your life

Forgive me Peter, please know that I tried

To hold onto the days when you were mine

But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light

this is just devastating to me. well, first of all, both matty and joe were 25 when they first met her, which, lol. the dreams they had together have expired now. it’s been too long. she cannot keep holding onto a love from almost a decade ago. he took too long to return. he lost his lifelong dreams to what was only supposed to be a chapter of his life. she tried to hold onto the days when he was hers, and everything was right, but she had to turn out the light at some point. this is the moment when she gives up on their relationship. she apologizes for abandoning the ship, but she must do it.

overall, I think peter is a story about two people who genuinely did everything they could to be together, but their needs and their growth no longer aligned. there’s a sense of acceptance and lingering fondness here. she did everything she could not to bolt, but the ending was the same.

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 50: Are We All Safe?

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

How is it possible to function on three hours of sleep? All night I toss and turn trying to relax but my mind is too full. Eventually I hear Thomas get up and leave. It’s barely daylight but I shouldn’t pay any mind to him. I can easily count how many apologies he owes. 

I throw in the towel and begin to make breakfast. Charlie is still asleep so the meal will just be for me. After a small portion of toast and eggs I try to distract myself with a copy of The Great Gatsby. Talk about the American dream being disintegrated into a shallow pursuit of wealth. Just like another certain someone…

Ring! Ring!

Who would be calling? I jump up and rush to the phone. Oh Lord, is it someone from home-?

“Is this Verena?” A familiar voice asks on the other end.

I gawk at the receiver. “May?”

“Verena, is that you? My, it’s good to hear from you. I wanted to call and see how you’ve been. I stopped by to collect Thomas’ horse. Um, pardon me for asking but the Americans that Curly told me about, they wouldn’t happen to…?”

Hearing May’s concern is a wonderful reminder that not all the rich and wealthy are heartless. 

“My family’s Irish side has made me a part of this too. The Italians are known enemies of the White Hand gang. I’m afraid my terms with Changretta are painted the same as the Shelbys’.” Unless… “That is unless I can arrange a diplomatic meeting to take the hit off my family.”

“I’m so sorry.” There’s a pause over the phone. “Does Tommy still treat you well?”

The thought of yesterday’s events makes my fist clench. Between his remarks on my family’s situation and Lizzie’s cold stare I’d say that this vendetta is starting to become more like a prison sentence.

“As good as any other employee,” I reply darkly.

“I see.” May pauses again and this time uses a more upbeat tone. “It was good to catch up. Pop by London sometime. We’ll go shopping.”

Somehow the ghost of a smile tugs at my lips. “I’ll put it in the books.”

I replace the phone and begin to go about my normal routine- All aside from looking for Thomas. I’m still too heated to hear any excuse he has. As for that idea from earlier… I could try. It couldn’t hurt… Could it? If I wave the white flag and ask to speak with Changretta then I could ask him to remove my family’s hit. 

“Veena?” Charlie asks from the sofa. “Are you sad?”

Lord bless him and his childhood innocence. “I’m okay, Charlie. Just… a little tired, ‘s all.”

“Do you want a nap?”

I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding and feel myself decompress onto the sofa. “Charlie, a nap sounds wonderful. Are you still tired too?”

“Yeah.” The young Shelby crawls up next to me and lays down facing me. “Veena, is mummy with God too?”

I move my arm over to rub his small head. “Yes, Charlie. Your mummy was a very kind person, and she loved you very much. She watches over you every day.”

Charlie’s tired eyes widen. “She does?”

“She does,” I repeat. “And I promised her that I would take care of you. Right now you need to sleep, alright?”

“Okay.”

His eyes finally close and I wait for him to fall asleep before letting my own eyes shut. Somehow sleep does find me, because when I open my eyes again it’s because Thomas is shaking me awake. Charlie is awake too and is clinging to his dad’s leg.

“Verena? It’s after six. Are you alright?”

After six? I slept a solid seven hours! I jump up in surprise to look at the clock but then remember I’m still cross at Thomas. I resume a tight posture and merely hum in response.

“Charlie, why don’t you go play with your blocks, eh? Or I’m sure there are some books to read.” 

Thomas ushers his son off and stands directly in front of me so that I can’t avoid looking at him or getting up from the couch. Of course Thomas can tell when someone is angry. Heaven forbid he can tell when I’m trying to love him. 

“Are you going to ignore me all night?” he asks.

“I don’t know. Are you going to apologize for speaking so harshly of my family yesterday?”

“Yes.” 

Thomas moves to sit next to me on the couch, looking at me with sincerity. His face tells a story of a man who’s frustrated with himself. Is he really going to say sorry? Can I bring myself to forgive him for not only mocking my family but also keeping me from talking to another man?

 “Verena, I’m sorry. You just need to understand that-”

“You are not the most empathetic person,” I say slowly. “I know.”

Something is wrong. Like Thomas once told me, no one apologizes unless they’ve done something else. The sound of his voice tells me he’s hiding something. He’s too stubborn to give in so quickly… What exactly happened at the office today?

“Something happened today,” I state bluntly and my face hardens with worry. “What happened?”

Thomas’ mouth drops slightly. “How-? You read me like a fucking book.”

“Thomas Shelby. Just answer me one fucking thing. Are we safe?”

If I had the idea of talking to Changretta then Thomas’ mind can’t be too far behind. This vendetta involves me too so if he makes any move to address it then I need to know. 

Thomas reaches across and takes my hand. “Yes.”

Does he mean everyone or just my family? “Are you safe?”

He holds up a finger. “That’s two questions.”

“Thomas Shelby!” I squeeze his hand tighter and can’t stop my brow from creasing. “You can keep me in the dark from whatever sinister deeds you concoct. I don’t want to know. What goes on in that boardroom is your burden. Whatever strike or uprising, it is brought on by yourself. I was hired for international relations and that is what I will work for. But that does not mean I stop caring for your safety. I do want to know that after all this is said and done that you will still be here.”

“And if I'm not?” Thomas challenges, still keeping a calm face. “If you could save your family by killing me, would you?”

My chest tightens and I fight to keep from crumbling into him. “You make it so easy to say yes. But you know I am no murderer, Thomas. Even if I don’t pull the trigger I will never arrange for you to be killed.”

There are far more dreadful ways of torture. If I ever want Thomas to suffer then I will walk away completely. We’ll see who’s angry when there is no one who will listen.

Thomas must believe me because his crystal eyes have a look of content sadness. If he has anything to say then it’s his own fault for staying quiet. As is mine.

“There is a meeting tomorrow I want you to be at,” the gangster murmurs. “At the hospital with Michael. Arthur, Ada, Polly, and Lizzie are coming too. See these?” He holds up a set of keys. "These are the keys to your car outside. You can take it to the meeting. Trust me, you will want to be there. Even if you’re still mad at me.”

“I will be there,” I promise. “Hopefully after a few more hours of sleep.”

“Yes, do sleep,” Thomas insists and gets up to let me have the whole sofa. “You shouldn’t have to go through this, Verena.”

He walks off to the kitchen. Did I hear him mutter ‘all my fault?’ Well, partially that is true. But it is also my fault for being dumb enough to come back. What have I accomplished? John is dead and I’m no closer to admitting my feelings than I was a year ago. Why does love have to be this complicated? I suppose another night of fighting for sleep might calm me down.

@meadows5

[vampdes]

— “SAY YOU LOVE ME!” [you want him to stop texting? stop sneaking into your house? stop proposing to you? oh darling, you must be joking! you love him, just as he loves you and nothing, he means nothing, will ever change that.]

GENRE. headcanons + short story, unhealthy fluff

PAIRING. delusional!yandere x gn!reader

CW. lowercase intended, entrapment, marriage, death [murder], unhealthy fascinations / infatuation / ideals, forced marriage.

NOTES. he’s an expert at being delulu, but he knows u love him so it doesn't matter lmfao <3 n yes, two yanderes in a row. hope u enjoy!!

“say you love me, [name]! say it, say it, say it! i know you do, i know it, so please, feed into my desires and say it! i’ll be all yours, just as your wish, if you say it! i love you, and i know you love me too! so say it dear, say it for your husband.”

DELUSIONAL!YANDERE who is infatuated to the brim with his darling! you are just entirely too much for him sugar!

he knows that when you tell him not to text: you want him to call! aaa, sweetheart! that’s so adorable ⁠♡ you always want to here his voice then, yes? you’re too much for him!

DELUSIONAL!YANDERE who knows your just as cute as you are naive! you say he’s a friend, but he knows that you know that the two of you are married! he proposed, remember? you gladly said yes and kissed him all throughout the night! he might just propose again to get such treatment from his darling!

sweetheart, you want him to stop following you? oh..well you could’ve just asked for him to be your house-husband straightforward! but you being so cute about it just makes him more excited!

DELUSIONAL!YANDERE who dreams of you. he dreams fantasies of you and him, knowing that they’re already true ⁠♡! yes, sometimes you beat around the bush to get him to stay [you didn’t even need to ask!] and sometimes you are a bit mean to him, yelling at him to get out and leave you alone, and you always throw the ring he gave you to the ground! proclaiming that the two of your will never be wed, not in a millennia—but, you are your mood swings don’t hurt him one bit, darling!

it just means he’s not giving you enough of something–attention! that’s what it is! oh darling, don’t be so moody just for him to give you some more attention! your way of begging is wonderful, but he does have to tie you up and put duct tape over your mouth sometimes, he doesn’t like your profanity :( and stop calling him ‘monster’! you wanted this, you begged him for his love! he’s not going to just take it back from you, you wouldn’t like that!

DELUSIONAL!YANDERE who believes that your ‘friends’ are in the way of the relationship you two have. he has heard the things they say about him: he’s sick, dishonorable, disgusting, even. and you don’t try to defend him, do you not love him? no, no he mustn’t doubt your love! if you did the same to him, he wouldn’t like it, so he must trust you wholeheartedly! however, your friends? they’re in the way, and he knows how to solve those issues.

DELUSIONAL!YANDERE who didn’t expect such a disrespectful response from his darling! just because he is coated head-to-toe in blood doesn’t mean you can’t hug him. darling, why are you backing away? why are you calling his a murder? you know how he feels about name-calling! stop these actions at once and just come here! come in his arms!

DELUSIONAL!YANDERE who knows in his heart that you’re joking. “they did nothing! they were just being honest, and you know that you’re a sick, monstrous bastard!” darling, what did he say about profanity? yes, yes, he knows that you haven’t entirely warmed up to the idea of marriage! but another reciting of vows should do the trick, yeah? nevertheless, another night in the basement should teach you that just cause he’s your husband doesn’t mean he tolerates any behavior!

DELUSIONAL!YANDERE who apologizes for his actions! he’s sorry, sweetheart, he knows you don’t like it in the basement. those cold, dark nights that you spend down there—those cold, dark nights without him. you don’t like it, and he’s sorry, but you had to be taught a lesson! you are not allowed to talk to him in such a way, no matter the fact he’s your beloved or not!

darling..darling? why are you crying? why are you pushing him away? “i don’t want this!” what? why are you motioning to him? he’s your husband, of course you want your husband! “please go, i don’t love you–i don’t! i never wanted this, i never wanted you! just because we–we had something in the past doesn’t mean we’re each other's future!” ..oh, so that’s how you feel? how you’ve felt this whole time? you’re not in love with him as he is with you, are you? no, you’re not. a lesson should be taught, no?

“you’re going to spend–” he shoves pillows and blankets down the stairs, along with a gallon of water and some frozen food, “–the rest of your days down there!” he says, motioning to the basement. he looks at you with a face of disgust and grabs your collar, ignoring your kicks and pleads for him not to leave you down there once again. he pauses, looming over you with the feverish anger within him boiling down, and looks between you and the door to the basement. it seems cold, dark, and freighting, you wouldn’t last a day in there with the food he gave you. so, he’ll give you a chance, a chance to be in a comfortable bed, a chance to be in his arms, and a chance to be with him forever.

“say it.” he whispered, kneeling down in front of you, placing his hands on the sides of your face, cupping it, “say you love me! just say it, and we can live within each other’s warmth forever and ever! i know you love me, you know you love me! just—just say it.” he seemed desperate, he pleaded for you to say three simple fucking words! why can’t you? just why? just fucking why?

was all of this fake?

“i–” sweetheart, you can do it! two more words love, just two more! “—can’t.” all this buildup, and for what? “i’ve given you chance after chance after chance! and you can’t give me this one thing in return?”, he sighs, letting out a disappointing laugh, grabbing your collar once again. he dragged you towards the door, a distasteful looks aligning his face as he looked at you. “one you learn that you love me as much as i love you, i’ll let back with open arms, okay darling?”.

he blew you a kiss, before swiftly locking the door shut. you heard the repeated clicks of the locks, even the occasional key, as he locked it. you banged on the door, scratching it, wanting your freedom to be handed back to you. but that would be a touch one to get, no?

you can’t have what you don’t give.

© CREDITS TO ur1nonlydan. DO NOT PLAGIARIZE, REPOST, OR COPY MY WORKS

[rhythmic-idealist]

Something I get out of characters like Tenya Iida is that the deal isn’t “it isn’t your fault.” Yes fanfiction likes to sometimes say that but it isn’t what’s going on between Tenya and himself, and isn’t what he hears from Shoto and Izuku.

Izuku even considers apologizing, and then goes no, that would be selfish of me and feel strange to him— he’s at a place in his journey where he would feel worse if I said anything that took his own agency out of it.

Izuku empathizes with making mistakes that hurt themselves, which made it harder for them to become the heroes they want to be.

Shoto empathizes with a past of having been someone you aren’t proud of. Stand up and be Ingenium, then- I’ll be the hero my mom always believed in now. Make your brother proud now. We do care about being someone for others so let’s just stand up now and do that. Let’s notice what isn’t useful and stop doing it.

He does need to understand eventually the system that failed him. And I think he does, when Ochako gives her speech on that rooftop. I think processing it relative to Izuku opens the door to processing that he’s a little like that, too, that some system failed him. If he didn’t think other people were in some capacity an important ingredient, we wouldn’t see him trying so hard to save other people from falling down his path.

But he did all that. “It’s not your fault” doesn’t come up. Shoto and Izuku do not look at Tenya and try to tell him it’s okay, you’re good, because we refuse to acknowledge that ugly shit that you absolutely did do. You were suffering and you made terrible, violent, selfish choices in response to it. You couldn’t see your way out of the feeling and so you did do all that.

It would wound him I think. Terribly. If one of them told him that it’s not his fault. If he thought that was the good they saw in him—it would be a lie. If Tenya can be good—and oh we have all seen him—then we accept the premise that he moves forward to do good, and it’s not “not his fault.”

He did choose that. He chose to, for catharsis, and he did not have to. He did do all that. MHA is about what do you do after.

[justicerikai]

Charisma House - Superhuman Sharehouse Story “Charisma” - #87 The Bus Won't Come

Please read alongside listening to the drama track on Youtube.

Let me know if I missed something!

TL note:

Iori calls himself a シルバーキラー (lit. A silver killer).  It’s the same way the term “lady killer” is used in English, except it’s more versatile in Japanese by applying it to different groups of people. Such as older men (おじさんキラー lit. old man killer), or if you’re a “handsome young man who seduces married women”. (マダムキラー lit. madam killer). Basically, in this case, senior citizens fall for Iori’s wiles.

Iori: No sign of the bus, huh

Rikai: ….

Rikai: …How strange. It should’ve come already…

Iori: Aren’t you thirsty?

Rikai: ….Ah no, I’m fine.

Iori: Doesn’t your butt hurt?

Rikai: Eh?

Iori: This bench is tough. Not to mention the lack of satisfactory service.

Iori: Here, you can sit on my lap if you’d like.

Rikai: I’ll pass.

Iori: No need to hold back!

Rikai: Iori-san.

Iori: ….

Iori: Lemme know if somethings bothering you then

Rikai: ....On the same line of thought, it does bother me how the bus hasn’t come at the appointed time.

Iori: I’ll go track it down

Rikai: No no no! Iori-san, please stay here.

Rikai: We’ll ride the bus together when it comes.

Iori: ….’Kay.

Iori: Lemme know if somethings bothering you then

Rikai: What about yourself, Iori-san.

Iori: Huh?

Rikai: You’re always preoccupied with the business of others 

Rikai: Isn’t there anything that’s bothering you, Iori-san?

Iori: ….Nah, don’t mind me.

Rikai: I can’t, please tell me if there is.

Iori: Eeeh~... I dunno… 

Iori: How there’s nothing I need to do, I guess. Keep thinking if spending my time like this is any good.

Iori: Being sort of useless and all that. Or more like I end up being fidgety over it

Rikai: Please don’t think of such things. You’re always supporting us from behind the scenes, no?

Iori: Really? I’m glad

Rikai: Just remember to keep yourself in consideration too sometimes.

Iori: Yessiiiir~

(Iori gets up)

Rikai: Are you going somewhere?

Iori: Got nothing to do so I’m going to look for something to keep me busy

Rikai: Did you even listen to me!?

Rikai: Besides I would much rather prefer if you stayed here with me! Iori-sa….

(Iori leaves and Rikai sighs)

(Terra walks by)

Rikai: Terra-san, where are you headed off to?

Terra: On a walk~♪

Rikai: Selfish as always…

Rikai: Why can’t everyone sit still and wait patiently. What am I supposed to do if the bus comes and leaves them behind in the meantime? 

Terra: Terra-kun won’t be left behind that easily

Rikai: ….

(Terra sits down)

Terra: The bus sure won’t come~

Rikai: My apologies, if only I had my act more together.

Terra: ?

Rikai: I haven’t been able to preserve order at all lately. As the leader, I feel responsible for my conduct.

Terra: What are you on, all of us would’ve perished with you long time ago

Rikai: Eh?

Terra: The fact that we like, somehow got this far is thanks to you

Rikai: Terra-san! Do you mean that!?

Terra: Yup, that’s why I can take it easy and go on a walk

Rikai: I see! Of course!

Rikai: I, the perfect man of society, standing proudly in the middle allows everyone to be free as they please to!

Terra: Uh I didn’t like, say that much….

Rikai: Yet in other words, an existence such as myself has the potential to sow chaos too on the contrary.

Rikai: Terra-san, education is difficult no matter the era we’re in.

Terra: What are you yapping about?

Rikai: Alright, I’ll give it my all! Rikai-oniisan shall not falter!

Terra: Where you going?

Toilet: To the lavatory

(Rikai leaves)

(Ohse and Amahiko walk by)

Terra: Amahiko, you already good?

Amahiko: Yes, I’ve surprisingly recovered quite well. Although I do still feel slightly sleepy.

Amahiko: ….The bus isn’t coming, huh.

Terra: I give up

Ohse: …Sorry

Terra & Amahiko: ?

Terra: Ghost-kun, what’cha apologizing for?

Ohse: Eh… ah, no…

Terra: No apologizing without a reason

Ohse: Sorry

Terra: Again

Ohse: …

Ohse: Understood.

(Terra gets up)

Amahiko: Terra-san, where are you off to?

Terra: Just a lil’ walk

Amahiko: Would you like to go together?

Terra: Nah, alone’s fine

Amahiko: Very well then

(Terra leaves)

Amahiko: Sigh… 

Ohse: …Um, please go to sleep. I’ll wake you up once the bus comes.

Amahiko: ...Ohse-san, you shouldn't overdo it yourself. You're tired too, no.

(Ohse running off on the road)

Ohse: You better show up soon… Bus…

Amahiko: Hmm~ ....To come… or not to come…

Ohse: Eh?

Amahiko: What would you prefer, Ohse-san?

Ohse: I’d… like to be alone.

Amahiko: Eh?

Ohse: Ah, no not like that! I didn’t imply a-anything else with being alone!

Amahiko: Fufu

Ohse: I messed up! I’m really just a piece of shit! I’m so sorry!

(Ohse runs away)

Amahiko: Ohse-san!?

Amahiko: …He ran away

Amahiko: ….

Sarukawa: Oi  Amahiko, you seen Fumiya ‘round?

Amahiko: I haven’t

Sarukawa: Where did that bastard run off to

Sarukawa: Came up to me like, let’s hitchhike so I stuck with him and then he poofed into thin air

Sarukawa: Forreal gotta get his ass at least once

Amahiko: Haha…

(Sarukawa sits down)

Sarukawa: When’s this damn bus coming. And why we gotta wait for sumn’ that won’t show up

(Sarukawa stands up)

Sarukawa: I’m gon’ run off on my own y’know!

Amahiko: …..

(Sarukawa sits back down)

(Amahiko smiles)

Sarukawa: ….Your ma all good?

Amahiko: …Yes, she made a full recovery one way or another

Sarukawa: Really, that’s good news

Amahiko: However…

Sarukawa: ?

Amahiko: Father ended up bed ridden instead.

Sarukawa: Puh- hahahaha! Hahahaha!!

Sarukawa: Forreal!? That old man’s got his shit fucked!? Amazing!

Amahiko: Eeh!?

Sarukawa: Fuckers that mess with ya deserve to get their asses beat!

Sarukawa: Now that’s what I’m talkin’ bout, hahaha, hahahaha!!!

Amahiko: Aha… Ahahaha…!

(Amahiko gets up)

Sarukawa: Mh, where you off to?

Amahiko: I’m going to search for Ohse-san

(Amahiko leaves)

Sarukawa:  ….

Sarukawa:  Fufu…

Fumiya: Kei

Sarukawa: Fumiya! Where the hell were ya!?

Fumiya: I finally got it

Sarukawa: Hah?

Sarukawa: Ah! Someone to hitchhike us!? Ya finally got them to stop!

Fumiya: Nah, got this giant stag beetle

Sarukawa: Hah?

(Fumiya shoves it in Sarukawa’s face)

Fumiya: Isn’t it cool? Look, a giant stag beetle.

Sarukawa: Stopstopstop

Fumiya: Looook, very big. So cool. Jealous, aren’t you.

Fumiya: A giant stag beetle, look, looook

Sarukawa: Aaah! And the hitchhiking then!? The fuck you playing around for!

Sarukawa: Owowowow! It’s pinching me! Bastard!

Fumiya: Hahaha

Sarukawa: ….!

Sarukawa: Wait all ya want, s’not coming

Sarukawa: I’m gon’ run off on my own, y'know! 

Fumiya: …I wonder if Ryuu’s fine

Sarukawa: Hell if I know, what’s gotten into ya

Fumiya: Would be nice if he was.

Sarukawa: Shuddup, ain’t nothing for you to worry ‘bout. Be quiet.

Sarukawa: ….It’s his problem to deal with. Ain’t nothing we can do ‘bout it.

Fumiya: ….

(Sarukawa stands up)

Sarukawa: ….! Where they at!

Fumiya: Eh? How should I know? You’re the one that knows about Ryuu-

Sarukawa: The giant stag beetles!

Fumiya: Eeeeh!?

Sarukawa: I’m so gonna find a way bigger one than yours, just watch!

(Sarukawa runs off)

Fumiya: Hahaha…

(Iori walks by)

Iori: Ah, Fumiya-san. Huh? Where’s everyone?

Fumiya: Dunno

(Iori puts down the bag of drinks)

Fumiya: Ah, water, where from?

Iori: Asked some people in the neighborhood and I received these.

Iori: Who knew I had the charms to woo over the elderly.

(Iori opens a bottle)

Iori: Okay, here you go

Fumiya: ….

Iori: …Hm? It’s fine to drink?

Fumiya: …Yeah, but let’s wait for everyone. We’ll drink together

Iori: …

Iori: ….Roger wilco!

Iori: Still no sign of the bus

Fumiya: ….Mhm

Iori: Wonder what’s gonna happen from now on

Fumiya: ….Mhm

Iori: Fumiya-san, what are you planning to do?

Fumiya: …Eh? Uh, nothing, haven’t decided on anything.

Iori: Really now~?

Fumiya: Being with a bunch of like-minded people, and passing the time away together is more than enough for me. 

Iori: Liar!

Iori: What just happened!? Eeeeh!?

Iori: Actually, where are we even going when we get on the bus?

Fumiya: Ah, about our next destination. Just so you know--

Rikai: Ah Iori-san, you came back, I was searching for you.

Iori: Oh, sorry sorry

Amahiko: Catched myself an Ohse-san~

Terra: You’re like, the worst!

Sarukawa: Your damn fault!

(Everyone’s being noisy)

Iori: Guuuys, there’s water. Please have a drink.

(Everyone sits down and drinks water)

Rikai: What… do we do…

Rikai: Should we walk?

Terra: Eeeeh~

Sarukawa: See? It’s gon’ be that after all, stupid

Fumiya: Lame

Ohse: Amahiko-san, will you be fine?

Amahiko: Yes

(Rikai stands up)

Terra: Eh! Are we seriously walking???

Iori: Not like we have much choice, it didn’t come despite us waiting.

Terra: Geez!

(Everyone standing up slowly)

Fumiya: …Then, we’re off?

Rikai: Guess we’ll depart

(Everyone sighs and starts dragging their feet)

Ohse: ….?

Ohse: Ah! A car’s coming!

The six of them: Wuh!?

(Everyone gets frantic)

(The car speeds by without stopping)

The seven of them: AAAAAAAAH!!!

Rikai: HELP US!

The seven of them: ASSHOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!