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sprinkledmoonlight · 6 years ago

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no one’s gonna send me numbers so i’ll do them all for myself

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? idk maybe 2. You talked to an ex today, correct? no i did not. 3. Have you taken someones virginity? no (not yet) (jk) 4. Is trust a big issue for you? yes v 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? no 6. What are you excited for? literally nothing 7. What happened tonight? literally nothing 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? i think it’s disgusting when anyone does but it’s okay once in a while 9. Is confidence cute? yes 10. What is the last beverage you had? water always 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? 0 duh???? 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? i guess? 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? l.i.t.e.r.a.l.l.y. n.o.t.h.i.n.g. 14. What are you going to spend money on next? gas probably 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? NOOOOOooooooooooo 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? i mean maybe somewhat 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? bella 18. The last time you felt broken? eh idk 19. Have you had sex today? no leave me alone 20. Are you starting to realize anything? no? 21. Are you in a good mood? no 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? no jesus 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? yes 24. What do you want right this second? for my back to stop hurting 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? whatever i would be sad but whatever 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? yes 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? no 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? not sure? 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? really, truly, no 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? no 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? no 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? no 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? yes 34. Listening to? mr brightside (: 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? no i hate pencil 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? no and i don’t care. 37. Do you believe in love at first sight? no that’s idiotic 38. Who did you last call? doctor 39. Who was the last person you danced with? umm. probably pat. 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? because i was seeking attention and validity 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? oh shoot idk 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? no 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? always 44. Do you tan in the nude? no?? 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? i mean i guess yeah if i could take back of them that would be cool too 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? yeh 47. Who was the last person to call you? doctor 48. Do you sing in the shower? yes 49. Do you dance in the car? nnno 50. Ever used a bow and arrow? yes! so fun! 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? uhm college senior pics. 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? yes but they can be fun 53. Is Christmas stressful? yes but not overly 54. Ever eat a pierogi? no 55. Favorite type of fruit pie? apple 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? vet, teacher 57. Do you believe in ghosts? little 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? often 59. Take a vitamin daily? haha no 60. Wear slippers? usually fuzzy socks but sometimes slippers 61. Wear a bath robe? after da shower 62. What do you wear to bed? it depends. real pajamas. tee shirt and pj shorts. sweatshirt and sweatpants. 63. First concert? american idol season 4 tour with my parents?? if you mean actual concert, taylor swift 1989 tour with my sister 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? target 65. Nike or Adidas? nike 66. Cheetos Or Fritos? cheetos puffs 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? neither gross 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? oh shit. let me think. last kiss but i don’t like listening to that bc it’s too sad. enchanted but that will make me angry if i don’t currently have a crush. 69. Ever take dance lessons? i took lessons from the cheerleading team for a month in high school? 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? no 71. Can you curl your tongue? yes 72. Ever won a spelling bee? no but i won a definition bee 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? yes aw :( 74. What is your favorite book? hp 75. Do you study better with or without music? eh both are fine 76. Regularly burn incense? nooo 77. Ever been in love? yes 2x 78. Who would you like to see in concert? mayday again 79. What was the last concert you saw? mayday parade :( 80. Hot tea or cold tea? neither gross 81. Tea or coffee? neither gross 82. Favorite type of cookie? choc chip 83. Can you swim well? yes actually 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? yes 85. Are you patient? hahahaha no 86. DJ or band, at a wedding? whatever 87. Ever won a contest? i’ve won several scholastic contests, a few running races, and a raffle for bunny toys 88. Ever have plastic surgery? uhhh no 89. Which are better black or green olives? grosssssss 90. Opinions on sex before marriage? totally fine 91. Best room for a fireplace? living room?? 92. Do you want to get married? yes

#survey #personal

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monkeyspawnskydiamond · 3 years ago

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Don’t ask me to feel sorry for my rapist - Nina Funnell

Nine years ago I threatened to kill a man. I did not know his name or anything about him. And yet when I threatened to kill him, I meant it.

To this day I still wonder what would have happened if, by some fluke, the box-cutter had made its way into my own hand.

I wonder if I would have pressed the cold blade against his throat, as he had done to me just moments prior. I wonder if I would have found it in me to stab him as he lay there on top of me, strangling me, bashing me, indecently sexually assaulting me.

I still don’t know.

What I do know is that by threatening to end his life, I saved my own.

I know that if I hadn’t wrestled him for the box-cutter, if I hadn’t screamed and kicked and thrashed about like a wounded animal, I might not have survived the night.

I do not say this to imply that women who have acted any differently in sexual assault situations have done the wrong thing. On the contrary, a different perpetrator might have killed me on the spot for fighting.

So my story is neither cautionary nor instructive. It’s just my story and there is no way to tell it without including certain details.

I was 23-years-old and an honours student at the University of Sydney. I’d woken up that morning and showered like I would have on any other day. The only thing that was different about this particular morning was that it was the day of my honours presentation — a day I had been working towards for months. It should have ended in celebration and elation.

Instead it ended with me at a police station.

I’d gone out for some drinks after class had finished (yes, I was drinking, as women are permitted to do from time to time) and I was making the 20 minute walk home to my parent’s place in Sydney’s lower north shore.

I was a few hundred metres from my front door when I was suddenly attacked from behind.

A solid-built man I had never seen before had seized me. He held a box-cutter blade to my throat and began dragging me into an adjacent park.

I didn’t see or hear him coming as I was listening to music from earphones. (Later I would be told that this was just one of the many reasons why I was to blame for his decision to attack.)

He then said point blank: “I am going to kill you”.

He punched me in the face and the force of the blow was so powerful that it knocked me off my feet and onto my back.

I lay in the dirt, immobilised by fear, as he moved on top of me. They call this the “freeze response” and I have since learnt that most sexual assault victims experience this sort of shock and paralysis.

Then I felt the life being choked out of me. His hand was on my throat, my trachea was being crushed, and I could taste blood in my mouth. I was also vaguely aware of a deep pain beginning to grow in my shoulders and back.

Hours later at Gladesville police station I’d be photographed and swabbed. I’d be asked to go into a small room and remove my top. Once in there, I would examine my body in the mirror and find what would soon become dark bruising across my back — bruising that was apparently caused by large, protruding tree roots that had been grinding into my back while the weight of my attacker’s body pushed my flesh into them.

During the assault though, I didn’t process that sort of detail. All I could think was “How can this be happening to me? Is this for real?”

Then my mind went somewhere else altogether. I shut my eyes tight and an old, forgotten memory played like a video before my eyes. I remembered being a young girl, maybe six or seven years in age. I was standing in that same park and I was watching my older brother play soccer on the field. I remembered how at half time, I’d eaten quartered oranges with him and it had made me feel special that he’d included me and talked to me with his older friends around.

That was it. That was the simple memory that I shut my eyes and held on to. It seems odd, doesn’t it? That a man is trying to rape and kill you and you think about eating quartered oranges with your big brother.

I’ve since been told that my brain was valiantly trying to protect me from the trauma of what was occurring to me. In transporting me to another time and place — a safer time and place — it was trying to shield me from what was happening.

And yet, just as quickly as I’d slipped into that dissociative state, I slipped back out of it again. And when I did, I found myself looking directly into my attacker’s face which was only inches away from my own.

His grasp was still on my throat. I couldn’t breathe and couldn’t move. I felt a sharp pain across my body and I remember thinking: “I don’t want to die. Not like this”.

****

When it comes to sexual assault, women are forever being asked “why didn’t you say no?” or “why didn’t you fight back?”

As though a rapist would ever listen.

As though victims are the ones who should be responsible for preventing the violence we experience.

If you really want to know why most women don’t fight back, it’s because of one of two things: we are either immobilised by fear, or we assume that fighting back will make things worse. This is, after all, something that has been drummed in to us all from a very tender age.

But that night I did fight back, not at first, and not because I am courageous. The only reason I fought was because adrenaline took over and I had nothing to lose.

My mind had eventually caught up and computed that I was in a kill-or-be-killed situation. And if I was going to die anyway, why not fight the f***er? Get his DNA if nothing else.

I began thrashing and resisting, and then I exploded yelling “I’m going to kill you first”.

In for a penny, in for a pound.

I’ll never forget the look of shock and surprise on his face when I said that. What I don’t remember, is exactly what happened in the next few moments.

Again, this is not uncommon. The nature of trauma means that survivors often have memory gaps or recollections that don’t add up. One counsellor explained that if your memory is like a filing cabinet system, a traumatic event will effectively toss all the files onto the floor, mess them around, and then shove them back in.

Some files get lost. Others get out of order.

She also told me that she’s never once met a sexual assault survivor who had perfect, chronological recall.

Such is the nature of trauma.

And yet I’ve also been told that if I ever do go to court, defence lawyers will almost certainly try to use my memory gaps against me.

I can look forward to some smug lawyer arrogantly trying to discredit me by painting me as an “unreliable witness”. The fact that I’m even classified as a “witness” frustrates me to tears. I wasn’t sitting outside my body, eating popcorn watching this happen from the sidelines. It was painful. It hurt. I didn’t “witness” violence, I endured it.

I’ve also been advised that in addition to my memory gaps, the fact that I had been drinking that night will almost certainly be used against me.

I’ll be painted as licentious. As slutty. As stupid. As a liar.

But to be very clear, my memory gaps are not evidence that I am lying. To the contrary, they are evidence of the traumatic nature of the violence I have experienced.

So here is what I do remember from that point on. I remember a sudden feeling of lightness on my chest and an awareness that there wasn’t a heavy body on me anymore. I have no recollection of climbing to my feet but I do remember being in a standing position and noticing a small amount of blood on my hand. I remember wondering if it was my blood or his (this would later turn out to be a defensive wound.) Then I remember picking up my bag and reaching for my mobile and dialling triple 0.

****

I wasn’t technically raped that night. And boy do people love to remind me of that.

“I know what happened is bad and all, but he didn’t actually, you know, get it up you, did he?”

This was the question put to me by a male manager at my casual job, a week after the assault took place. My bruises hadn’t even disappeared but the implication was clear: if there’s no P-in-V, it’s not so bad, is it?

Sure, I’d been indecently sexually assaulted, physically assaulted, strangled, told I would be killed, and held at blade point. But in a phallocentric world, sexual violence isn’t measured by the trauma the victim experiences, but by the perpetrator’s assessment of the event: and if the penis didn’t get its way? Then what right should I have to expect the same supports and police resourcing that a “real rape victim” would get?

This wasn’t the only insensitive comment people made.

“You’re a pretty girl, you know. You could take it as a compliment that he selected you.” (This piece of unsolicited advice was kindly offered by a female journalist working for a women’s magazine).

“You have to admit Nina, you were pretty stupid for walking home alone”. (This gem was offered by an old friend I went to school with.)

One woman asked in all seriousness: “Do you ever think this might not have happened if you had a closer relationship with God?”

Another woman took the time and trouble to email me to inform me that she had real pity for me until, that was, she learnt that I had been “doing all the wrong things”.

Since then, I’ve been told it’s my fault for drinking. My fault for listening to music. My fault for travelling alone (as though women should only ever venture out in public if they are in the company of a chaperone).

People have called me a liar and an attention seeker.

I’ve had one stranger persistently request that I share the police photos taken that night with him.

I’ve had other strange men send me messages of sympathy, immediately followed up with a sunny little dick-pic. For condolence, I guess. (No, I do not want to commiserate with your boner).

I’ve had schools ask me if I will come speak to their female students about the “risky situations” that women put themselves in (no, I won’t, don’t ask me again).

I’ve been asked whether the problem lies in girls “not respecting themselves” (and here I was thinking that my assault happened because my attacker has no respect for women, for me, or for my right to live a life free of sexual violence.)

I’ve also had someone suggest that the poor guy probably “just had no money, otherwise he would have gone to a prostitute”. As though sexual violence isn’t about power and control at all, but a man’s simple desire to have certain sexual needs met.

Over and over I have been asked the questions that so many other survivors have also been asked: “What were you wearing? How much did you have to drink? Don’t you know how stupid you were being?”

And each and every one of these questions (and so many more) serve to silence women. They do this by deflecting attention away from the actions and choices of perpetrators, and by insinuating that women are responsible for the violence we have experienced.

And finally there was this remark made by some clever chap who wanted to discuss my attack online:

“What a conceited bitch for thinking she’s even worthy of rape. The guy just probably wanted to give her a good bashing in which case job well done.”

Charming stuff, isn’t it?

Of course, this is only a fraction of what women deal with when we speak out publicly about sexual violence. And in many ways my own assault was easier to speak out about than many others. That’s because I was assaulted by a stranger and there was physical violence involved. But most victims aren’t assaulted by strangers and rarely are there physical signs of violence, and this makes it even harder to be believed.

And this is why so women stay silent. Why so many choose not to report.

It’s also why perpetrators feel so entitled to keep on offending: because our society continually affirms for them that women are in the wrong. That women are untrustworthy. That stranger-danger rape is the only “legitimate rape”. That women make-up sexual abuse in order to assuage sexual regret. That the word of a man is worth far more than the word of woman.

Over the last week I, along with so many others, have read the extraordinary victim impact statement made by the young woman who was raped by Brock Turner behind a dumpster at Stanford University.

Her words resonate deeply.

In addition to exposing the systemic victim-blaming that occurs when survivors disclose, she has also elucidated all the ways that perpetrators attempt to minimise responsibility, shift blame and discredit victims.

Her analysis of how some media will humanise perpetrators (by including references to their skills, hobbies or interests) while reducing victims to nothing more than invisible, silent “others” is equally compelling.

And in her words so many survivors the world over have found recognition and comfort. They’ve also found the courage to speak out and own their status as survivor.

I suspect this is because she is radically rewriting ideas about victimhood.

In the cultural conscience, victims are often presented as broken, voiceless and downtrodden. At best, we are pitied. At worst, we are despised and devalued as “damaged goods”.

Yet though her victim impact statement she has debunked those stereotypes and advanced a new image of a survivor who is intelligent, articulate, analytical, insightful, bold, brave, reflective and persuasive.

Her words are resilient, strong, and hopeful. She reminds me that even though my assailant has never been caught, and even though I am yet to have my day in court, recovery and hope is possible, and above all, I am not alone.

https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/rendezview/dont-ask-me-to-feel-sorry-for-my-rapist/news-story/36d4af5f0cc287ba53eeb163bbe28841

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ineverhadmyinternetphase · 7 years ago

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Running Into You - No. 6

Installment number 6 in my series of AU oneshots about Dan meeting his favourite youtuber AmazingPhil for the first time.

AO3 link

Genre: Fluff, with a sort of 2009-ish feel (but it’s still AU)

Warnings: A bit of swearing and some mentions of low self-esteem but literally it’s just fluff

Prompt: Missent Text

Summary: Dan’s on his gap year, so naturally he’s spending most of his time lounging around on the internet, watching his favourite youtubers and scrolling through tumblr. When he gets an accidental text from an unknown number, he doesn’t think much of it, until a series of events start to convince him the sender might just be someone he idolises: AmazingPhil.

A/N: This draft is like 2 years old, but @agingphangirl convinced me to post this while we’re waiting for pinof. It’s epistolary form, so I hope it isn’t too confusing. Hope you like it ^_^

Phil’s texts are italics, Dan’s texts are in quotation marks

…

6. Missent Text

Where r u?

Sorry what?

Where r u I’ve been here 10 mins

…Am I supposed to be somewhere?

You said on dm you’d be here at 6, I’m getting cold ^_^

Um I’m sorry mate but you must have the wrong number

Oh crap!! Sorry!!

.Lmao it’s ok. Just checked my dms and nothing interesting enough to make me be outside in this weather sorry

Tell me about it x_x I’m freezing. But if you’re not peej then I’ll be here a while

Unfortunately for you I go by Dan

Oh. Well, hello Dan. Sorry for bothering you with my freezing antics

Nvm it’s cool

It’s more than COOL, it’s COLD enough for ICICLES

I’m sure ur exaggerating

No my nose is an actual block of ice

Where even are you? Unless you’re in the Arctic you might want to get that seen to

Sorry! Peej showed up eventually (the friend I thought you were). Turns out he gave me the wrong number. All sorted now. I promise not to bother you again

Honestly it’s fine. I probably need more human contact so you did me a favour

Haha, glad to be of service ^_^ also I was in Manchester. It’s so cold it snowed. My icicle nose is allowed

Manchester? That’s like waaaaay in the north

Not that far but cold enough for icicle noses :P

Yes yes ok you’re allowed an icicle nose

Haha thanks :P so where are you, if not in the north?

Reading

Ohhhh so a proper southerner

I guess you could say that

Well hello Dan the proper southerner

God no that makes me sound like a queens guard or something

Do you queens guard people have time to text?

We’re too busy dealing with the corgis and all that shit

I knew it 0.o

XD but really I’m sitting in bed on the internet lol

Actually same

Haha really?

Yep. Which sites you on?

Just the usual. Tumblr, YouTube. My favourite youtuber has a new video due out tonight

Nice ^_^

What sites are you on?

Currently uploading a video to my YouTube channel

You have a channel?!

Haha yeah ^_^

Which one? Would I know it?

I don’t know. It isn’t a huge deal but it’s fun

Yeah I mean I admire that. I’d love to have a channel

Why don’t you?

Idk too scared I guess

Awr ^_^ nothing to be scared about honest, it’s just you and a camera

And the whole of the internet xD

Haha I try not to think about that part 0.o thousands of people watching me

Thousands? Wow so you must be a pretty big channel

Heh I guess, maybe ^_^ so who are your favourite youtubers?

Oh man I have loads XD Smosh, community channel, AmazingPhil (the one I’m waiting for the new video), charlieissocoollike

That’s a good mix ^_^ my new video is 99% uploaded and stuck there x_x

Seriously? Your connection needs to sort its shit out

Haha yeah it really does. I think it’s being attacked by bees

Bees?

Or wasps

Seriously?

Tiny horned beetles?

Do they even exist?

Idk but if they do they’re attacking my wifi

I’ll send the insect spray

Haha thanks XD it must have worked as my video is finally uploaded!

—

…Great video. Especially the lion wedding, that was sweet

Haha thanks! Glad you liked it, took ages to get the dress on lioness. Plus my mum nearly walked in on me 0.o

Holy fuck you actually are AmazingPhil aren’t you

Um, well, yes.

Sorry.

AmazingPhil, FantasticPhil, Epic Youtuber

or just Phil if you prefer

I probably should have told you

Jesus shitting fuck I’m sorry for bothering you

Don’t be daft! I accidentally texted you first ^_^

Yeah but I bet you didn’t expect to end up with a weird fanboy. Um. Not that I’m a stalker I promise

Haha it’s ok Dan honestly

I’m not going to spread your number around or anything holy shit like I’m so sorry

Honestly, please don’t worry, it’s been nice talking to you ^_^ I appreciate you not spreading my number around though. I got lucky with you, don’t want to risk a creepy stalker finding me 0.o

Lmao I promise xD how do you know for sure I’m not a creepy stalker though

0.o I’ll set the bees against you

I’ll start running now

Haha

—

So out of curiosity how long have you been watching my videos for?

Oh um a couple of years now

Really? That’s awesome!

Yeah. You actually replied to one of my comments once ^_^ made my day

Aw haha that’s great, which video?

The toxic one

Oh my god >.<

Haha it’s a good video :P

I should remove it from the internet immediately

Don’t you dare! Your fans would be sad

X_x well this isn’t very fair if you know about me but I don’t know you at all

Well you know my name’s Dan

And you’re from Reading. Tell me more? ^_^

unless you don’t want to, that’s fine, I’m just curious

Haha no it’s alright. Um. I’m Dan. I just finished my A levels and now I’m taking a gap year

Oh cool ^_^ going to uni after that?

Probably. Thinking of law

Wow, that’s impressive

Haha we’ll see ^_^

Just checking but how old are you? I don’t want to be a creep 0.o

Lmao dw I’m 18 everything is legal

Phew XD Anything else I should know?

Well I’m currently undefeated at mario kart

What seriously? You’ve never lost?

Nope and I don’t plan to start :P

I’d beat you

I really wish we could test that theory

Haha that would be fun :P we could always test it over Skype sometime?

That’s probably really weird sorry

I promise I’m not a creeper

It’s ok, and yeah, I’d love to Skype sometime

Yeah? Yay! :D

Lmao you’re probably going to want to run a mile when you see me though

I doubt that very much unless you have like five eyes or something

Five eyes? Wtf XD

Idk you could be a giant spider

[insert pic] See? Not a giant spider :P

Oh wow yeah not a giant spider. I spy a cute guy :P

Shut up >.<

Nice hair

Lol I swear I had it like this before I started watching you

[insert pic] And here I thought I’d started a trend

Crap you actually are Phil >.< yeah your hair is cool enough to be a trendsetter tbh

Haha thanks XD and yeah I am Phil. Is that a problem?

Are you kidding me? Nope except I turn even more awkward than normal around people I admire

Aw well awkward people are the best. And at least there aren’t videos of you half-naked on the internet

You make a good point

—

Hey so I’m uploading a new video tonight but I can’t decide if it’s actually any good. Check it out for me?

Omfg are you seriously saying I get a sneak preview on an AmazingPhil video

Yes please ^_^ I might have overweirded. Need a second opinion

Omfg

just like

give me a moment

wtf

fucking hell

wow ok

I’m calm now

yes I would love to check your video for you

Haha thanks. It’s up as unlisted, [insert link] please be honest with me if it’s terrible

Wow man that’s awesome! I love how interactive it is!

Omfg seriously how are you this creative like you shouldn’t be allowed

Haha really? Wow thanks, I’m not sure about the shot angle though and the lighting is kinda terrible

Yeah ngl the lighting is bad but you can’t control the sun

You never know! I could be a weatherman. But you seriously think I should upload it?

[insert pic with thumbs up] totally I love it

Aw I forgot how hot you are. It’s going up tonight then

CUTE I MEANT CUTE

Gah I’m sorry

Haha it’s fine, getting called hot is never bad in my book ;)

Would you believe it was autocorrect?

Haha if you want :P sounds pretty unlikely though

I’m hiding in a pillow and never coming out

No! Then your subscribers will hate me for taking you away

[insert pic in a pillow] do you like my new home

XD don’t hide from me seriously like you have a video to upload

[insert pic] ok true it’s on 68%

Damn YouTube upload times

Tell me about it. Have you ever uploaded a video then?

Lmao there’s one of me being a boss at DDR

Yeah? Can I check it out?

>.< Um sure, I’m a lame nerd though

Dan, have you even met me?

Haha ok true :P [insert link] just don’t say I didn’t warn you

No one’s feet should be allowed to move that fast. You’re so good, I fall over whenever I try and play

Haha I could teach you

Please be my DDR master Dan-sensei

Depends what you give me :P

I’ve got Pokemon cards

I’m sold

—

[insert pikachu with a lion pic] this was too cute not to show you

Awwww! Rawr ^_^ where is that?

Shop called forbidden planet. I’m in London on work experience and went there on my break

0.o London? You’re braver than me, capital cities scare me

Aw poor Phil haha

[insert pic] do I look ready for work?

Very serious

Srs bsns

[insert scared face pic] I’ll take YouTube any day

Haha. Me too tbh. Law offices are big and dull

Why do you want to do it then?

Idk. Job security? Having a point in life?

Fair enough :P

You did English didn’t you? Sorry I swear I’m not a stalker

Haha it’s fine ^_^ and yeah, English language and linguistics. Then a masters in post-production

Wow that’s so cool. So you’re in your 20s?

22 ^_^ My masters is the only reason I know how to edit videos :P

I wish I could

Well I can always teach you

Seriously?!

Yeah of course, I reckon you’d be great at making videos

Really? Lmao I’m so awkward tho

That can work in your favour, trust me :P

Haha well if you say so, YouTube senpai

Listen well Dan-kun and you too will learn the ways of the YouTube

Haha you’re so strange

You’re just jealous

[insert pic] so much

Stop taking pics at work

But it’s so boring. At least send me one back, save me from the dullness

[insert pic] on my way to a meetup so might be a bit slow

Oh cool meetup like YouTube meetup?

I guess that must be fun

I’d love to go to one but too scared and awkward lol

Save me work is literally killing me

I can’t actually keep working here

ugh why did I ever think law was a good idea I’m going to die at uni

Whoops sorry I seem to have spammed your phone

—

Hey Dan, sorry! I forgot to bring my charger to the meetup so my phone has only just come back to me. I mourned it’s passing *plays lion king music*

Oh that’s ok

I really am sorry that I couldn’t distract you from your work

Lmao no worries

Don’t know if it’ll make it any better but I am working on a new video and lion says he thinks law is a very admirable career option

Tell lion thanks and I’d be even more grateful if he did my degree for me

He says sign him up where are you going to uni anyway?

Well I’m not there yet. I have to start applying soon

Looked around any?

Errrr I’ll get on that

Isn’t the deadline soon?

Yeah but I’m an epic procrastinator

Lion is very disappointed

Lion can suck my dick

Dan!

Lmao I was kidding

besides you’re 18 you have loads of time to sort stuff out

Yeah but I have literally no idea what I’m doing

No one does. That’s why you go to uni - to figure it out

You seemed to have it all together

Haha thanks, but honestly, I was just making stupid videos in my bedroom

does that sound wrong?

Lmao a little yeah

Oops

Dw lol if you’re a sexual predator you’re a bit far away to do any real damage

True

:( I’d rather you were nearer tbh

Even if I’m a sexual predator?

Lol I don’t really think you are though

Well I’m not

And me too, Dan

—

[insert pic] last day at the office today I literally couldn’t be happier

Lol I can see from your face

[insert pic] is it that obvious

Rawr

I’ll send lioness to aid you

Lioness not lion?

She’s much fiercer

Lmao probs true either way I’ll take help

At least soon you’ll be free

Yeah I literally can’t wait

Gonna do something to celebrate? ^_^

Lol all my friends are at uni

[insert pic] well Lion and I are proud of you

Aw thanks ^_^ I still forget you’re AmazingPhil sometimes

I’m deeply offended

no but really I’m just Phil and you’re really cool

sorry

Na it’s fine I just had to work

Oops XD

I’m hiding out in the toilets now so we’re fine lmao

and I have no issues with you being Phil

I mean it could be worse at least you aren’t a creepy stalker

I hope not. Also uploading another video tonight, I think you’ll like it

!!! Best celebration ever

^_^

—

So I may have been stalking you on Twitter and it seems your birthday is soon?

0.o stalker. And yeah it is ^_^

wait you follow me? What’s your Twitter handle?

Um. Yes I follow you. And this is going to sound very awkward and stuff but I kind of want to send you a birthday present

Omg Dan you don’t have to do that

Well I’d kinda like to so :P should I use your PO box?

Nah that takes ages to check, I’ll give you my actual address

I promise not to hunt you down

Tbh if it’s you I wouldn’t even mind

Omg

[insert pic with address] there you go

Lol is that a bank statement?

Yeah I’m so profesh

Phil! I could literally rob you

Well I trust that you won’t :P

Lmao you’d better

What’s your Twitter handle btw? You never said

Uh its danisnotonfire.

But please don’t judge me oh god I’m such a nerd

Dan honestly you’re the coolest person I know

sorry was that a bit much?

No! I’m just struggling to respond to the best youtuber out there calling me cool

Not just cool, the coolest :P wow you’ve commented on my tweets quite a bit

>.<

Sorry I never noticed you properly

You accidentally texted me I think that wins

Haha true

—

Happy birthday!

Thanks! ^_^ I have family stuff but I’ll talk to you as soon as I’m done

Sure sure have a great day!

— DAN OMG

YOUR PRESENTS

YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE YOU ACTUALLY SHOULDN’T

[insert excited pic cuddling the presents] you’re amazing

you’re so amazing

I can’t believe you

honestly you’re too amazing

how did I ever meet someone this nice and funny and cool and kind and cute and sweet

honestly

and I know you must be sleeping it’s like 2am but I have to tell you

OMG you’re too adorable

who let you be like this and you’re too far away :(

I wish you could be here so I could give you a thank-you hug

Wow I’m glad you liked them :P I’ll take a thank-you hug

What are you doing still up?

Can’t sleep how was the party?

GR8 M8! My parents embarrassed me in front of everyone

Oh no what did they do?

Got the baby photos out >.<

Lmao I’d love to see that

I was ginger

OMG for real?!

Yes >.< *hides forever*

That’s adorable

You’re adorable

Your mum’s adorable

Actually shut up

:P aren’t you too old for immature arguments now

Go to sleep

Lmao I’m glad it was good though

Thanks yeah it was rly good

Looking through the photos now

Any good ones?

Mostly drunk XD [insert pic]

Who’s that guy?

My cousin

Lmao ok I was about to say hands off

XD he was really drunk

You look a bit worse for the wear too

I may be slightly intoxicated

Haha tut tut Lester

Shut up Dan :P what is your surname?

Howell

Howell? Like a wolf?

Lmao if you like

Awooooooo

You’re so strange XD

AwoloooooOooooOOOOO

it suits you though

you’re very brown

XD aren’t wolves grey?

Well yeah

but like

you have their wildness

Lmao I’m taking that as a compliment

You should

you’re hot as hell

but so young and sticky out

like a baby deer

A wolf and a baby deer?

And eyes like an owl

You and your animal metaphors

None of those are quite right though

Like your eyes are too pretty they’re more like the night sky

but coloured with earth

You’re drunk

I mean it though

…I know

I wish I had eyes like yours

No! Yours are perfect

They’re big and weird

They’re deep and beautiful and I could swim in them all day

and I’m not drunk

I should be sleeping

You’re sleep-drunk :P which is actually a thing you know

Right I’m going to sleep

Noooooooo

We’ll talk about this when we’re both more sane

But I don’t want you to go

it’s quiet and sad when you aren’t around

and I’m cold here now

and it’s my birthday

Dan?

Happy birthday you idiot. Now go to sleep

night Dan <333

—

I’m so sorry about last night I had too much to drink

Haha it’s ok it was your birthday

Yeah but still

I’m so sorry if I made you uncomfortable

You didn’t. There’s nothing to worry about

Do we need to talk about this?

Um. Do you want to?

Kind of

But kind of not

I don’t want to make you feel awkward

I’m always awkward

Dan, for real. You know what I mean.

Yeah I think I do

Do we need to talk about it?

I think we’re both aware it’s there. Let’s just see where it goes?

Yeah ok sounds good. And no awkwardness?

None at all, I promise <3

Good <3

—

Hey Dan, are you still up for Skype at some point?

Yeah, sure ^_^ tonight?

Yeah! I’ll just finish up editing

Ooh, what’s it like?

Haha spoilers :P what’s your Skype name?

Danisnotonfire same as Twitter

Original :P

added you

‘AmazingPhil has added you to his contacts’ you’re just as original I see

Shut up and answer the call

—

So my eyes are even bluer on skype? :P

Haha shuddup

They’re even more blue in person

Are they even blue lmao they’re like 3 different colours

[insert pic] mostly blue

Greeny yellow blue

Very poetic

Shuddup :P

sorry I’ll stop

Please don’t

Lol fishing for compliments?

Well if they’re being offered

You’re impossible

That isn’t a compliment

You’re ridiculously strange?

I’ll take that

Haha of course you would :P

So what are you up to?

Actually answering a few texts for once, you?

Throwing around some video ideas but I’m bored now. Who’re you texting?

Some school friends who are at uni

Nice ^_^

Well. Sort of. It’s weird

Tell me about it?

It’s just they all have these lives that are moving forwards and away from home and leaving me behind

and I just

My ex is dating someone else and I’m in exactly the same place as I was when she broke up with me

And I’m not content but I don’t really want to go anywhere or do anything and I just don’t know what on earth I’m going to do with my life

Were you happy with them before school ended?

Idk. I thought so at the time. But I don’t think I’ve ever really been happy, not yet

It’s ok. You don’t have to know right now. And one day you’ll leave all of them behind too and move on to something better

I think I already am. Having you around is better than them

Sorry

Haha don’t apologise for being so sweet ^_^

Also I’m single now. And bi. Just to avoid confusion

I’m bi too. Probably

Probably?

Not a massive fan of labels if I’m honest

If I feel something for someone then that’s all that matters

Might be demi, might be bi, might be somewhere inbetween.

And I don’t want you to worry about your future, ok? Everything is going to fall into place

And if it doesn’t I’ll be around to distract you with more lame animal comparisons

Haha I actually love you

Me too <3

—

Get on Skype!

Ok it’s late you’re probably sleeping

it’s just

ugh I don’t know who else to talk to so I’m going to rant at your phone like a completely normal person

but mum yelled at me for not doing my uni application yet

but I just don’t know what to do I mean law yes but how do I decide where?

This is huge

and I don’t want to rush into it

but she thinks I’m going to miss the deadline though there’re months left

and I just

ugh

now she isn’t talking to me

Dan I’m sorry I was sleeping. Skype now?

I really don’t mind you spamming my phone, please do, always, I’d rather you had somewhere to talk about this stuff

And you know, Manchester uni is good. I could show you around

—

I spoke to mum about going to look around the uni.

She asked where I would stay.

I kind of told her I have friends at uni there.

It’s a half truth right?

Awesome ^_^ Um do you think she’d like to know the truth?

Probably.

Idk.

She might freak out and be worried

Because you’re meeting a random man you’ve never met before?

Lmao when you put it like that

Are you honestly ok with this? It’s fine if you’re not

No no I’m so ok. I want to meet you. Like properly

I want that too. So much

So it’s going to happen. I’m buying train tickets

Awesome ^_^ but your mum?

Do you think I should tell her?

I think she’d be happier knowing where you are

Yeah. Yeah I know. I’ll talk to her

Give her my phone number too. And my address

Lmao you after more stalkers?

Dan I’m serious I want you to be safe

You spoon

yeah I’ll tell her everything. She might not be best pleased though

Dw if she locks you up I’ll come rescue you

—

I told her

!!! And?

She said yes

OMG!!!!! I’m out atm but Skype as soon as I get back?

Yes please :P

[insert happy pic]

—

Hey Dan you should make a YouTube channel before you visit me

?? Really?

Yeah I mean you always say you want to. And we could do a collab ^_^

For serious?!

Yeah! I mean, if you want to

I’ve been wanting to do a Q and A for a while and it would be fun I think

Omfg

Is that a yes?

Hell yes it’s a yes

Um only problem is

How do I even make a video?

However you want ^_^ you’ve told me loads of good ideas

But they’re so lame lmao

They’re really not. I promise.

Why not start with an introduction? Then you can go on to your actual content

Omg but like do you really think I could?

Honestly! Yes.

My mum’s going out in a minute so I’ll have the house to myself. I could film

That’s brilliant! I’m about to head out with mum but film whilst I’m gone and we can Skype later yeah?

Ok wow

omg

Phil this isn’t working I sound so stupid

fucking hell I can’t do this

You can! Act like you’re on Skype to me

Can we Skype?

Still visiting my brother sorry :( tonight we will

Ok. I’ll keep trying

You can do it! Pretend the camera is me. Or any friend. It’ll help

Ok <3

—

Holy fuck Phil I have views.

And subscribers! So many subscribers!

Told you!!

This is because you tweeted it

No, it’s because you’re really bloody talented

>.< I can’t believe I did that

You did and you’re awesome and I’m so proud of you!

Can’t wait to collab :D

Me neither, if you still want to I mean

Silly, of course I want to. Best thing about this month

—

Um so a bit of a change of plan

??? Do I need to cancel the train tickets?

No no! Just

Turns out my parents aren’t going to be here the weekend you’re visiting.

Is that a problem?

Lmao no why would it be

are you planning to ravish me or something

>.< I don’t think I’ve ever ravished anything in my life

Well you can start with me ;)

Dan!

Seriously though. Is it ok?

Yeah. Honestly it’s great.

Are you sure?

Are you?

Yeah I mean honestly it’ll be nicer to see you without having to get around them

I just don’t want to weird you out

You won’t

I hope not

Phil honestly I can’t wait

:D me neither

where are you btw? Skype isn’t picking up

Oh yeah, my internet is down, sorry

:O no wifi?!

No wifi. I’m not sure how I’m going to survive

I’ll spam you with texts

Please!

Actually I have something better

[incoming call: AmazingPhil]

—

I’m at the train station and it’s super early I’m not even sure you’re worth it

Sorry! I’ll make it up to you with hot coffee and hugs ^_^

Ok yeah you are worth it

Aw :D

On the train next to an old man who’s threatening to fall asleep on my shoulder

x_X tell him to keep his hands off

Lmao yeah I’m sure you’d really sort him out

I could be fierce

You’re literally a muffin with an emo fringe

I’ll fill your bag with bees

I’ll tame them into my own personal army

Then you’ll be our evil overlord

Mwahahaha

Can I be on your side when you take over the world?

Your lion powers could come in useful so yeah I guess so

Awesome we can run the world together

Yes :P

ugh the train is running late

:( by how much?

Twenty minutes atm

I’ll still get to the station at ten to

Well it might be running quite late by the time we get that far north

I don’t want to miss you. I’ll be there <3

I can’t wait

Me neither

Stuck in Stoke now. Literally the weirdest station I’ve ever seen

Haha really?

Yeah. And it’s packed. I had no idea this many people travelled this early on a Saturday, I didn’t even know this time exists

It doesn’t and you’re travelling in some other dimension right now

Shut up :P

Just waved my parents off. I’ll head out to the station soon

I’m so nervous

Me too <3

Promise you won’t run a mile?

Promise. I’ll see you soon Dan

See you soon

—

#phan #phan fluff #phanfic #2009 phan #phanfiction #iwritephanthings #runningintoyou

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hitamory-dead-blog · 7 years ago

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I think you should totally post the hunting stuff!! I think it all sounds cool ;0

I’m glad you think so! It’s really cool to see how close you can get to animals without them noticing you! :D

Don’t worry! I won’t put anything graphic on this blog! Just trees n birds n shit being trees and birds and shit lmao (maybe there’ll be a few dead trees but like that isn’t because of me)

LMAO I’M GLAD YOU FIND MY BULLSHIT IN THE WOODS FUNNY xD

Speaking of which, this reminds me of the time I encountered a black bear in my 13-year-old weeaboo phase while out bowhunting and my first response was “Well I’m an anime character who needs to do something cool for my powers to be awakened obviously I need to drop the bow, pull out my knives, and knife fight this bear”

Honestly my weeaboo phase was the wildest fucking thing I’m surprised I lived this long.

Oh j e e z, that’s such a far cry from the way I live,,,in all honesty?? I’d send you a big bag of deer jerky if it wasn’t illegal to send wild meat to other people,,,,i think it’s illegal? I’m pretty sure it is…but I’d totally send you some!

I’m glad you can (sort of?) experience new things through my posts! I’ll be sure to post a lot of nature pics!

(I’d like to visit there at some point, to be honest! I don’t know how well I’d survive though,,,I almost went insane when I went on a family vacation to the state of Montana because of the h e a t)

O M G REALLY??? HHHH I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT SHOW IN SO LONG BUT YES I REMEMBER HER VOICE!

gvshgdHGVSHVH THIS IS SO COOL?? I was actually tired and cold af during that video which is when my voice goes like that but in reality, my voice cracks a lot when I get enthusiastic, I stutter, and I say ‘eh’ like a comma. Like, even other Canadians laugh when I talk at work because I’ll just be like “Cash, credit or debit, eh?” “Eh, you want a bag for that?” “How are you today, eh?” It’s ridiculous.

My voice also fluctuates a lot so I GET A LOT OF DIFFERENT COMMENTS AND COMPARISONS LOL

#answering stuff #long post #hunting #me voice #ethan-catnlatin #discordsadvocate #sweet anons!

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what-does-one-affects-the-other · 7 years ago

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What's your opinion on this robot harry?For me it's so annoying he can't even pretend to be excited for his own tour, his social media presence is such a turn off

Well I’m sort of digging myself a grave with this one, but since I haven’t seen a post I can fully agree with, here we go. Disclaimer, I actually study this at uni. I was the Social Media Manager for the planning and putting together of a fashion show, on all platforms. I just handed in last month a 6-months marketing plan that was based around social media promo. So I do have a bit of knowledge in this area. I am by no means an expert, but this is my future field of choice, so I like to think I’m at least educated.

The situation isn’t as black and white as people have put it so far. All I’ve seen is “he’s horrible at engaging with fans” and “he doesn’t own you shit so stop complaining”. The answer is a very big grey area in which Harry’s actual social media presence fits perfectly in my opinion. First of all, there’s two main templates we studied for marketing purposes this year, Gaynor Lea Greenwood’s promotion suggestions (2009) and Burcher (2013)’s Paid, Owned and Earned media concept. Long story short, the first one is your traditional marketing campaign and the second one relies more on social media and advertising on it. Now, I think Harry’s team went for the more traditional approach, and let me explain why.

Harry started distancing himself more and more from twitter and Instagram ever since the hiatus started.Even before, during OTRA and MITAM promo, most of his tweets were promo stuff, lyrics I’m not sure we fully understand even now, charity work, promoting friends or tweeting about holidays/important days or events. His fan interaction has been low for quite a while, and I’m honestly baffled people are acting like this is news. Looking through his Twitter in 2015, there are some tweets to fans, yes, but they’re very sparse.I counted about 12 in 5 months, most of them in September, when Perfect came out, and around the release of MITAM.His tweets were mostly thanks to fans for various awards and nominalisation, promoting the songs/album, some lyrics and, without fail, after every concert he tweeted a thank you for coming.

It felt more personal than what we have now (tho in all honesty, his tour hasn’t started yet and if we eliminate the OTRA tweets it’s already a different story), but Robot Harry has been a thing then, and people were riding along with it instead of condemning it to the extent they do now.But, the thing is, Harry didn’t have the entire burden of engaging with the fanbase like he has now.Louis, Niall and Liam always took turns in taking the lead in replying to fans and interacting with them, which allowed Harry to do his part and everyone was mostly happy.

And yet, I personally don’t feel this frustration many people feel. I think it’s quite interesting actually. A bold move that wouldn’t work for other artist whose career relies on people who live and breathe social media (maybe Beyonce or Adele, but they are in another league). I was very intrigued by Harry’s statement in the Behind the album video, in which he said that there was a time in his life when people knew everything about him, and he didn’t like it.He has been overexposed since 2012, his personal life splashed across tabloids, fake relationship or not.And now he disappeared for a year (and has been retreating into himself for at least 2) and he wrote this mysterious™ album, trying to see if people can listen and understand it without knowing much about the current him. In this context, having an album that surrounds itself in mystery and then doing 4 Q&As on twitter and 3 livestreams sends…extremely contradictory messages. I can, and will fault his team for presenting a dual image of Harry that sometimes makes 0 sense, for handling a lot of things so poorly, and for the entire Carolina mess, but I will say that his social media fits this old school mysterious rockstar image they’re showing of him. I also think his actual reason is very personal and very real, and I respect the fact that he didn’t compromise this choice he made for promo purposes.

His promo relied on more traditional channels. TV and radio appearances, print magazines, and most importantly, the secret gigs. Now, I’m sorry, but I felt entirely more connected to Harry running across London at 8AM in my pyjamas than by any twitter spree he’ll ever do. I never did this before. This reminded me of the stories my dad told me, of queuing up for days in front of the box office so he’d get the tickets when they went on sale. It was very old school and it worked for me. It was a phenomenal experience, something I will never forget. And he did this for us. All profits went to charity, he didn’t do this for money. And while I know this was for a few selected cities and a handful of lucky fans, it was intimate and it was special and I think everyone, regardless if they were there, or vicariously living through pics and videos, felt a connection to Harry. We got emotional on his behalf when he sang with his idol on stage 2 weeks later, you don’t do that for someone you have no connection to.

Now, the actual reason I’m happy with what we’ve got is that it is genuine from my POV. Liam is the perfect candidate for a comparison, since he also took a bit of a break from social media (not as heavy as Harry’s, but he definitely wasn’t as active as Louis or Niall) and his promo is as textbook as it gets. He slowly, but surely increased his activity since January, a few more tweets, a few more pics on Instagram.A big turning point was April when he posted 13 pics on Instagram, compared to 8 in March, 4 in February and 3 in January. His Twitter went through a similar process.Now, the moment he started posting more, I knew his music was gonna be out soon. It’s pure marketing. You start your campaign weeks before the actual launch, it’s only natural. Unless you want to drop it as a surprise, but that’s another discussion. Actually Harry did it too, with the TV ad, but that was ruined by the info getting leaked beforehand and everyone getting pissed off by that so whatevs. Now, Liam is going for the approachable celeb route. Streams, Instagram stories, snapchat, tweeting fans, loads of pics, videos with popular Youtubers. It’s nice and about as well handled as it gets (apart from that weird video release earlier than it should have been and Liam just generally being a bit…odd?off?idk how to explain it, but a lot of people feel the same way from what I’ve seen). It fits with the image Liam is going for, it aims at the right target audience. He’s not trying to enter a new market like Harry is. He’s consolidating his place in the current market from what I’ve seen (and I’ll admit I haven’t followed his promo as closely as Harry’s). Trying to imagine Harry doing this sort of promo doesn’t really work for me.

Niall has been present on and off social media ever since he came back from his trip last year. Literally, if I pull up the calendars people have been making each month, he doesn’t get more than a handful of days without doing something, so it’s unfair to compare him to the others, since he’s always around and posting and doing stuff.

Louis deserves a better team and I won’t have anyone uttering anything else in my presence, and yet somehow, despite Niall’s constant presence and Liam’s textbook engagement, I’ll never feel as connected to them as I feel to Louis. Louis’ tweets are the perfect mixture of absolutely adorable fan service (“our year” 😭😭) and some of the things he’s passionate about (tv shows, fashion, footie/sports). His promo for JHO was….I have no words for it and I’m gonna have a rage fit if I start thinking about it, but his overall persona is charming and endearing when he’s posting things himself. He created a real communication channel between us and him and he knows how to use it when he needs to send a message (warning selfies anyone?Only you?). There’s an actual analysis of Instagram stats that shows he’s the number 1 male account in engagement and overall likes and that doesn’t surprise me one bit. Louis is a smart businessman, he has a loyal fanbase who is here for him through thick and thin.

And on top of everything I said so far, none of them owe us anything outside the promo bubble. Apart from shoots, songs/albums/tours info and official announcements, they do not owe us anything. If they chose to share a picture from their home, that’s their personal space, and while it’s good for PR, amazingly good in a society that thrives from the feeling of knowing everything about everyone (like what’s your fave’s breakfast and how’s their cat is doing), it’s still a part they can choose to keep private and no one should be entitled to ask for more.

Have you seen Adele’s Instagram? It gives you this illusion of closeness to her, with make up free selfies, funny poses and landscape shots. Too bad literally everything is from touring and other official appearances right? There’s one picture of her home, and that’s to celebrate the end of the tour. Harry sort of did the same with the booklet pictures. He allowed you into his personal space in a controlled manner, just like Adele did. Only he did it in a different way. His promo is just different and you have to think a bit outside the box to see that he actually did a lot of things other artists do. Just a bit differently. Was it perfect?Fuck, no. Was it as bad as many people make it look like?Personally, I don’t think so. It was just different and people are entirely justified to see it as a good or a bad thing. I see it mostly as a good thing. Mostly.

#it accidentally took me 2 hours to write this #and I was very nervous to post it #cause I don't want to offend anyone #but I literally can't agree with any post I've seen so far #so please be gentle if you wanna scream how wrong I am #anons #answered

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thefakeathlete-blog · 5 years ago

Text

One Month Check-In

I did my first 5k in October of 2018. I walked the entire thing while pushing a baby in a stroller. That’s what that first picture is about. It’s funny to me that less than a year ago I was joking that I couldn’t even run a 5k, and here I am...figuring out how to be prepared for the half. And Taylor’s right, I can do it. Just move my legs. A lot of this journey for me is going to be around mental preparation. But more on that later.

It’s been about a month since I last posted and I have some thoughts I’d like to share. But I also wanted to add some pictures because this process so far has given me the opportunity to really enjoy nature and explore my city (see above post for nature pics).

Love Ya Body, Gurl

I’ve also gotten to work on my body confidence a little, which has been a longstanding goal of mine. I am in a much better place than I was a year ago with loving who I am inside and outside, but there’s always room for improvement.

I’ve always said that I prioritize comfort over everything else when it comes to what I wear, and that’s because I know my confidence will be there if I’m physically comfortable in what I’m wearing. Part of becoming comfortable in what I’m wearing comes down to sizing (obvi), but part of it comes with just wearing it. Just doing it. So I’ve been wearing crop tops and tank tops and other clothes that I used to be really self-conscious about wearing.

I have seen a marked increase in both my body confidence and in my wardrobe. Wanting to expand on this, I’ve started wearing shorts, crop tops, and even just my sports bra more often when working out (see above award-winning selfies -- yes I know my watch data is upside down). The area that I am most self-conscious about is my mid-section. The good ol’ muffin top/love handles/gut/stomach area, whatever you wanna call it. The second area is my chest because, to be frank, I just have big boobs, man. I get a lot of attention that makes me feel bad because guys will say something inappropriate about my chest, or girls will say that I’m showing too much or something, which I really can’t help. Ultimately, that’s a “them issue”, not a “me issue”, but it still makes it hard for me to be confident with how I look. Regardless, my point is that I’ve pushed myself to do things that are going to make me more comfortable with who I am and how I look. And, no surprise, nobody CARES that I have large boobs or that I’m “thicc”, or that I have love handles. Literally everybody just lives their lives. And even if they are judging me, nobody’s saying anything. So what does it matter?

Anyway, those are my thoughts on that topic.

Facts (#RealNews)

Here are the facts without my two cents.

I’m at the end of Week 4 of my training plan.

I still use Nike Run Club, but I haven’t tried the guided runs yet.

I am struggling with the mental aspect.

I am feeling less pain while I run.

I need to drink more water.

Gotta Getcha Head in the Game

While I feel my physical stamina and endurance is improving, especially since I’m early in the plan and it’s fairly manageable for any given person to do my current running workouts, my mental game is #lacking.

I force myself to run outside because treadmill running is the actual bane of my existence. I get bored and frustrated because time just c r a w l s by. So, I run outside! I used to run to music from my carefully curated (read: hype songs only) running playlist. But I found myself getting bored with music too. So I’ve started listening to podcasts while running. This helps the time go by faster. And yet, I still find myself checking my watch too much. “It HAS to be time for me to switch to walking, it’s been forever” is a common thought. Even though I KNOW I can run for like 45 minutes without stopping, because I’ve done it, 3 minutes seems impossible. And I KNOW it’s a mental thing.

So if anyone has any tips on how to get my mental game right, please send them my way. FR.

Also, pro-tip, 0/10 do NOT recommend listening to serial killer podcasts while you’re running unless you want to be paranoid the entire time.

Continuing down that topic path, I desperately need pod recs because the only one that consistently holds my interest right now is Crimes of Passion and Serial Killers from the Parcast Network, which aren’t going to work for the aforementioned reason. My boyfriend’s pod was working, but it was discontinued and only like 3 eps are available so that’s not gonna’ work for me.

So What’s Next?

I have to stick with the plan. It’s set up that way for a reason.

I’d like to find better podcasts. To all the podheads out there: PLEASE SEND POD RECS. Whether it’s comedy, motivational, stories, educational...I want them all!

I need to get my head right. Mental game is so important and that’s literally half the reason I signed up for this half marathon. Who has running/fitness/other mental tips that help them get in the zone? What gives you the self-confidence to keep at it and know you can make it? How do you overcome hurdles big and small?

#fit #fitspo #runway #new runner #atx #den #texas #journey #growth #progress #half marathon training #half marathon #race #train #training

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xranker · 5 years ago

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Questions About Hell I Never Thought to Ask When I Was Christian

0 Comments Questions About Hell I Never Thought to Ask When I Was Christian June 4, Hi and welcome back! As y’all know, I grew up as a very fervent Christian before deconverting around 1994 I deconverted because I found out the religion’s main claims simply aren’t true That said, for years afterward I kept finding more and more Christian claims that turned out to be equally untrue! Deconversion opened up a whole new capacity to make observations and ask questions that I’d never imagined while I was Christian And a lot of those observations and questions came up around the topic of Hell Join me today for a romp through the stuff about Hell I never even thought about till after leaving Christianity! ( James Lee ) The photographer isn’t kidding! — See here for a list of cities named for some variant of Hell This one’s in the Cayman Islands (I decided we’ll need a second part to this post about similar questions about Heaven Stay tuned for that one on Saturday. Also, it is very important to me to note that most of the following questions have hand-waving answers I guarantee any Christians reading this post that I’ve heard these false answers since deconverting. I consider them unsatisfactory Yes, even that one And that one) The Most Sickening, Cruel, and Evil Doctrine in a Religion Full of Contenders for the Title A lot of the really disgusting, grotesque, evil, cruel, stomach-churning gruesomeness in Christianity gets glossed over with centuries of iconography, re-framing, and very fine art and architecture Nonetheless, Christianity remains a very ugly ideology containing largely very ugly foundations Some Christians these days seek to de-fang and redeem this dreadful religion I don’t think it’s possible, but it’s their one lifetime to spend however they wish ( an it harm none ) And usually, they zero in quickly on Christianity’s most repulsive, sickening, and evil doctrine of all: the idea that a good and loving god who cherishes justice and compassion could ever send anybody to the afterlife commonly known by Christians as “Hell” Out of every evil doctrine contained in Christianity, Hell stands supreme as the worst of all of them The moment I know that a particular Christian believes in Hell as a destination for noncompliant humans, I know quite a bit about that person that they really shouldn’t ever want anyone to know Belief in Hell drives humans to do and accept evildoing that chills good people to the bone–and not only to excuse it in their own god, but to revel in the idea of him doing this to their enemies It also cows good people and terrorizes them into bending knee to this evil ideology and those who promote it No wonder early Christian evangelists pushed the idea of Hell so hard No wonder at all It allowed them to work all the dark deeds they craved, to brutally control those who might otherwise oppose them, and to gain power they did not otherwise deserve to wield Oh yes Hell, as a concept, has been most useful to Christian leaders–most useful indeed That’s why they push it hard even today– like John Piper recently did to parents , hoping they’ll impress their young children with the horrors he imagines exist in Hell (Check out his herpy-derp Jesus smile in the pic at that link Sick!) And Yet Hell-belief isn’t universal among Christians–even among the most extremist of them You’d think that evangelicals, having fused completely with fundamentalists by now, would be nearly-unanimous there However, according to the 2015 Pew Religious Landscape Study , only about 82% of them hold that belief The demographics involved are interesting, to say the least In 2016, LifeWay put out their own ( poor-quality ) survey about general Americans’ Hell-belief In it, they discovered that only 40% of survey respondents agreed with their official party line about Hell I don’t take this survey nearly as seriously as I do Pew’s, but it’s useful to gain an idea of general trends Chances are good that America is heading in the same direction as Western Europe in terms of beliefs It all makes me wonder if maybe people are starting to ask some serious questions about a belief that back in my day seemed as universally accepted as, say, belief in Germ Theory Back then, I didn’t even think about some of this stuff I didn’t even know how to formulate these concerns, much less ask serious questions about them First Off, Which Hell? First and foremost, I had no idea how many visions of Hell there are in religions from humanity’s past and present I thought only Christianity had a real Hell As it turns out, however, plenty of religions divide their afterlife into pleasant and unpleasant sections, sending the deserving to the pleasant one after death–and everyone else to the other Wikipedia presents us with a list of some of these Hells: Kur: the Sumerian afterlife Dark, dreary, and unpleasant A lavish burial and libations from family members could alleviate the unpleasantness A lake of fire: Egyptians believed that people who misbehaved in life were thrown there Ammit, a demon goddess called “the devourer of the dead,” ruled it Tartarus: the Greek religion’s place of torment for immoral people Anaon: a sort of Hellish place in old Breton folk religion , where the damned do penance Peklo: an old pagan Slavic Hell where souls atoned for their crimes Rotaimo: the realm of the dead of Sámi shamanism , ruled over by the god Ruohtta Anyone who didn’t live according to the religion’s principles ended up there forever Naraka: in Hinduism, where souls go for expiation of sins Hetgwauge: in the First Nations’ Haida mythology , bad people go to this dismal, unpleasant place to be tortured Among other punishments, souls there get to watch the lord of that realm eating their dead body. I could go on and on and on With so many hells to choose from, why would someone fear Christians’ Hell but none of the others? What makes Christianity’s Hell correct, and all these other Hells incorrect? And I should have wondered this I read mythology voraciously as a child–my family had books around like Bullfinch’s Mythology and the like Somehow, though, it never occurred to me to wonder why the Hell that my society overwhelmingly believed was real just happened to be the one worth fearing over all others How Does Eternal Torture Work Out to Justice? Most Christians who buy into the idea of Hell consider it to be an eternal destination full of absolutely nothing but torture . These same exact Christians also tend to think that when children die young or get born with catastrophic congenital conditions that are completely incompatible with life, all that horrific stuff happens for a reason–even if they don’t know what that reason might be Some of them punt to mystery Others default to sin nature (the idea that the supposed wrongdoing of Adam and Eve passed down to their children for all time; we’ll cover this bizarre, crazymaking notion in more detail soon) What Christians don’t tend to do is insist that these children deserved to suffer and have brief, horrific lives of pain. Such an idea is monstrous, even to them They also don’t tend to believe that these infants and children who die so young end up in Hell There’s a reason why so many Hell-believing Christians issue children a get-out-of-eternal-torture-free card Hell, as it stands, represents the most obscene injustice imaginable It lasts forever Those stuck there can never expect pardons Its pain is purely punitive, not rehabilitative, so it exists purely as a form of vengeance for what largely exist in Christian mythology as thought crimes (such as disbelief in the mythology itself ); going there hinges surprisingly little on how good and decent a person is during life Christians want the people who go to such a cruel fate to deserve it somehow –otherwise their god is unjust And even the TRUEST of TRUE CHRISTIANS™ know that infants did nothing to deserve such a fate Even to suggest such a thing around a dead child’s grieving family would likely provoke a reaction that’d end up on the evening news Why did I never wonder how an eternity of punishment for a finite lifetime’s offenses works out to divine, ultimate justice? Tasting Without a Tongue Of course, I’m getting ahead of myself bigtime. Nobody has ever found any objective support for the idea of any afterlife, much less the Christian conceptualization of it Near-Death Experiences (NDEs) remain subjective and highly-dependent upon their experiencers’ cultural beliefs about the afterlife The fact that finally broke me of the notions of Heaven and Hell is simply this: everything we think, feel, sense with our five senses (or six, as some scientists reckon it, adding in proprioception ) comes from the physical nature of our bodies These bodies, specifically The pleasure we feel from sex, eating, dancing, sleeping in, partying, cuddling our pets, running ultra-marathons, you name it: it derives from pleasant sensations striking our nerve endings, taste buds, visual cortex, and whatnot By stimulating our brains or feeding them chemicals of various sorts, we can be made to feel very strong and pleasant emotions We can do the same to alleviate many unpleasant emotional states. But our bodies die–and what makes us us no longer occupies them afterward In many old religions– like that of the ancient Egyptians –eternal life depended absolutely on the preservation of the body, because the soul reunited with it after death Christians generally believe that they’ll get all-new bodies upon reaching Heaven (though they can’t explain what age, gender, or appearance that body will have without making wild guesses) The problem with that idea is that a lot of what makes us us comes from quirks of DNA and conditioning of the bodies we possess right now And a lot of what many people like in this life, like sex, is stuff that the Bible tells us won’t happen in the afterlife The facts remain: we know of no way for people to sense things without a body We remain unable to demonstrate any human sensory perceptions that exist independently of our bodies Why did I not wonder how I’d feel anything without a body to provide the sensations to me? And why did I not wonder how losing this body I occupy now would radically change who I am as a person? Why Were the Christians Around Me So Sure About Who Was Going to Hell? Speaking of a dead child’s grieving family … When powerhouse Christian evangelist Billy Graham died , all kinds of other Christians knew exactly where his soul went afterward Most felt positive that he’d ascended to Heaven A few others, seeking notoriety, loudly insisted that he’d landed in Hell Ask Christians if a truly evil person is in Heaven or Hell, and usually they insist that this person went to Hell They do this even if that person experienced a miraculous conversion before death, like Jeffrey Dahmer did They don’t like imagining themselves sharing Heaven with serial killers, any more than they like imagining a Hell filled with the souls of those who died all too young Christians all appear to have very strong opinions about who is and isn’t in Hell When it’s the fate of someone they love, they’ll generally abstain from judgment or hope for the best Otherwise, they seem quite certain Indeed, I saw many of my peers gloating about the idea of people going to Hell They still do gloat about it , just like they have for many centuries Why didn’t I notice just how self-serving Christians’ opinions were when it came to who was heading for Hell? Why didn’t I notice how often their opinions meshed with their own desires and worldview? Not Without My Mother Now we arrive at possibly my biggest sticking point with Hell-belief This is the one I truly wish had driven me from Christianity, the one I wish had been my dealbreaker I wish it’d been my line crossed–my stentorian roar, my barked-out this far and no further It wasn’t But I wish I’d had the integrity, strength, and compassion back then for it to have been so Why did I not value my loved ones more than I did? Why was I willing to allow Christians to use my fear to separate me from those I loved most? These questions represent a regret that drives me to tears sometimes Every so often, it makes me bite my knuckles, moan fitfully to myself in near-sleep, shake my head as if doing any of this could ever deny those thoughts access to my mind Sometimes, it even works I was just a kid , FFS , so I try to be as gentle as I can with myself Immediately and always and at the end, Mom forgave me The least I can do is try to forgive myself Still, it gets to me sometimes I know damned well what she would have said if someone had tried telling her to abandon her daughters to Hell and enter Heaven without us She’d’a told ’em to stick it! But I folded immediately Why didn’t I notice anything weird about the way so many Christians utilize terror to sell a god of love? Seriously, THIS Is the Best This God Could Do? Part of what I’m talking about today is the Problem of Hell Christians named it that because they can’t satisfactorily answer it So they capitalized it and largely declared the whole shebang too mysterious to answer. Basically, it runs like this: Given that Hell is monstrous, evil, unjust, and in every way antithetical to the values of love, mercy, justice, and compassion, how in the world can any god who values that stuff allow anyone to go to such a realm? I can really see why some Christians opt out of the whole mess by renouncing the entire concept But Jesus clearly believed that Hell was a real place He also taught that it was somewhere people could end up going –even if they were positive they were going to Heaven But the idea of Hell gets even worse than that when we start wondering how an omnimax god could even have designed a cosmology involving Hell I’m not even a god and I could do a lot better than what Christianity has evolved over the centuries It’s beyond painfully obvious to me now that Hell exists in Christianity because its hucksters couldn’t sell the religion without it They still can’t. Hell: The Cage of Feral Rats, Lowered Over Christians’ Heads It hurts to think that anything could have terrorized me so much that I would ever forget what is most important I forgot every single value important to me: objective truth, compassion, kindness, community, integrity, all of it No more Not ever again Christians can keep their evil god and their disgustingly perverse doctrine of eternal torture for noncompliance They can use it to sever ties of their own–to rend mother from child, brother from sister, and lovers from each other But I know the tactic for what it is now Woe betide the next charlatans seeking to induce terror in me, hoping that fear will ensure an easier sale of whatever snake oil they’re selling See, thanks to Christianity, I now know exactly what questions to ask about whatever pitch they try NEXT UP: A quirky little 80s cartoon becomes relevant again–somehow What in the world?!? Join me next time and find out! Then we ask the big questions wondered about when I was Christian Read the full article

#Adam #America #basicchristianmaturityseminartopics #christiantopics #christiantopicsfordiscussion #christiantopicsforelocution #christiantopicsforyouth #JamesLee #youthdiscussiontopicschristian

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morgaine2005 · 8 years ago

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Tressia BACC: Round 7, Etinger

My computer actually cooperated well enough for me to play a WHOLE ROUND with NO CRASHING. Huzzah!

Now let’s introduce the last of Tressia’s new citizens: Kaytris Etinger.

Wave to the camera, honey!

Kaytris is a Romance Sim, and like Barran, she’s a Peteran. Her personality is 6/2/6/3/8, Pisces. She’s got a thing for facial hair and really likes creative guys, but anyone who dates her had better not be stinky. Like Kerrick, she’s not averse to the idea of getting married, but she refuses to tie the knot with anyone she has fewer than three bolts for.

She too has a custom LTW: Become Master Florist. In order to achieve this, she’ll have to earn a Gold Flower Arranging badge and found a flower shop that makes it to Level 10. (Shop. Stall doesn’t count. This is important information, because she’ll be bringing the stall she’s going to buy up to Level 10 so she has time to earn some badges.)

She lives at the same apartment block that Rhince and Carlyn Clainy call home. Her apartment is in the same building as theirs, too, just a floor below.

And here it is! In this pic we have the living room, dining room, and kitchen. (Open floor plan FTW!)

Skilling area of the living room (complete with flower station).

Bedroom.

And off to the stall!

First customer!

“Can I help you, sir?”

“Uh, I hope so. I’m looking for some flowers to give to my wife.”

“All right! Well, what kind of flowers does she like?”

“... Um ...”

We also get a visit from the reporter, because of course we do. Kaytris, I know you have no badges, so ... do your best?

Crett Sentio, being a Pleasure Sim, will be a great person for her to set her gender preferences with. Two bolts!

... Then I remember that she has 5 lifetime benefit points to spend. I get the Massive Attraction perk, and we have three bolts!

Ok!

“Can I help you find something, sir?”

“Oh, I think I’ve found exactly what I’m looking for.”

Three bolts! (Tirwyn Rikkes here is a Romance Sim, so I’m not surprised.)

First day of business goes very, very well. Kaytris is able to earn 13 stars without breaking a sweat.

And she earns her Silver Sales badge, too! Rhince gets to be her guinea pig for the hard sell.

After she finishes up, I send her to the faire lot for the usual round of cell phone, muscles, and picking up hot guys. (It’s still light out when she gets there, and I use the sethour cheat to keep it that way so my pictures won’t completely suck. Woot!)

Corbus Barivan is the teen who’s heart-farting over Kaytris here. Word to the wise, Corbus: if you want to live to adulthood, you might not want to catcall women with axes in their hands.

Also, the Massive Attraction perk is definitely doing its job. Everybody’s heart-farting over Kaytris. Even the Unsavory Charlatan took a minute to appreciate the view as he picked Corbus’s pocket!

“That poor kid got pickpocketed? Maybe I can help him out, now that I have muscles!”

Ok, two things, Kaytris. One: Muscles aren’t going to do much good when you only have one body skill point. Two: Do you really want a twelve-year-old walking around with an epic crush on you?

“... On second thought, I think the kid might be on his own. But I’ll certainly alert the authorities if I see anything!”

Good girl.

Back home, Kaytris spends some time practicing her pick-up lines charming banter ...

And weaving a tapestry. The more skills we have, the easier it’ll be to earn those badges.

And when night falls, I send her out on a date with Crett.

So here’s the deal. Since she has 3 bolts with both Crett and Tirwyn, I’m going to send her on a date with each of them and see which one she likes best.

Well, being enraptured by the other person’s conversation is always a good sign!

Then, because I’m curious, I have Kaytris ask Crett what he does for a living.

“I’m a Royal Physician.”

“Ooh! Mama always said to marry a doctor!”

Ok, couple things. One: There’s no royal family, so I don’t know who he’s being a royal physician of. Or to. Two: If you two did get hitched, he’d have to quit that job because it’s not opened up yet. Three: Even if it was open, I’d still make him quit, because I doubt that’s what he, as a Pleasure Sim, actually wants to do. And four: You’re a bin Sim; you don’t have a mama!

“... Well, if I did, she’d probably say things like that.”

Slow dancing. Naturally the dreaded Slow Dance Trifecta appears in her wants panel after this; i.e., wants to Lower Hands, Put Head on Shoulder, and Smooch.

Smooch isn’t even unlocked because Kaytris hasn’t had her first kiss yet, and the other two are doomed to end in rejection because their relationship isn’t that high yet.

Let’s see what we can do to get that relationship higher ...

Shy sims flirting are the cutest things.

Whoa. They’re not even friends yet, and Crett already has a crush.

Boy’s got it bad.

We get the relationship high enough for a Head on Shoulder to work.

Kaytris gets a crush just as she goes in for the first kiss.

GAH. (In case you can’t tell, GAH is because the evil warlock has just flown onto the lot.)

Unfortunately “gah” is a pretty good description of this date. Thanks to uncooperative wants and some bad luck (like Crett deciding he wants to buy a magazine and has to make his mind up about it ...), getting up to Dream Date is ... not on the cards.

It’s still a Great Date, though. And their relationship went from like 9/0 to 100/30-something. So, major progress!

Still, we’ll have to see how Kaytris’s date with Tirwyn goes on Day 2.

And then Crett, desperate to prove he’s not out of the running, drops off a Recalling Rug so that Kaytris will always remember their awesome time together.

(I’m not making this up; the little message said something very much to that effect!)

Anyway. Onto Day 2!

You probably can’t tell from his expression, but Kerrick and Kaytris have three bolts.

(I use ACR to put them in the friendzone. Let’s not mess things up for Shola and Kerrick ...)

Bronze cash register badge!

And Gold Sales badge! This is probably the only time in Tarik’s life he’ll be honestly dazzled by a woman.

... Who am I kidding, he probably gets dazzled by a woman every time I play a house with a woman with a Gold Sales badge ...

Kaytris gets the business up to Level 5, which is AMAZING. AND she gets her Bronze Restocking badge as well. Way to go, Kaytris!

And at home, Kaytris starts working on building up inventory for her future shop, and I get to see yet another of @cindysimblr‘s amazing Secret Santa presents for me in my own game!

That evening, I send Kaytris out to Sweets for the Sweet (same place she went with Crett) for a date with Tirwyn.

He actually gets her a networking perk practically straight off!

... It’s just a “Wow, you’re the coolest Sim I’ve met in ages!” message. Blah. Ripoff!

More flirting/being cute.

Slow dancing.

Tirwyn doesn’t get a crush on Kaytris as early as Crett did, but he still gets one on her before she gets one on him.

Kaytris is right behind him, though.

Coffee break!

And yes, Crett is on the lot. He doesn’t seem to notice Kaytris and Tirwyn being romantic, though, probably because of ACR. Thank you, ACR!

Unfortunately, even though I get this up to Dream Date, I don’t get Tirwyn and Kaytris’s relationship up much higher than Crett and Kaytris’s. That’s because Tirwyn cuts thing short because his needs (specifically bladder) are getting low. Despite me giving him plenty of time to go use the facilities. Grr.

... I’m going to have to do another round of dates with these two ...

And on that cheerful note, onto Day 3!

Crett stops by the stall, and since his lifetime relationship with Kaytris had crept up to over 50, one interaction is enough to make a Best Friendship happen.

Business is booming, so Kaytris hires this kid, Rhorven Jasor, to work the cash register. It frees her up to talk to the customers and earn stars.

Tirwyn stops by, and I figure it’s only fair for Kaytris to get up to best friends with him, too. Keeps him and Crett on an even level.

Back home, I have Kaytris do basket weaving instead of tapestry-weaving for creativity points, just for a change of pace. I’ve been having her collect reeds every day, so I might as well get some good use out of them.

And I do! This changing table will have to sit in Kaytris’s inventory for the foreseeable future, but hey, it’ll be cute to use it once she starts reproducing.

That evening, it’s time for another date with Crett.

If you can do the Caress of Doom successfully, it has to be true love, right?

Even Lower Hands is successful!

And it’s not long before Crett gets himself a red heart ...

And Kaytris isn’t far behind.

As for the rest of the date, my plan was to set them both loose on Free Will (within reason) and see if they decided to do some autonomous woohoo. I figured if nothing else, seeing if Kaytris got knocked up by either of them would make up my mind.

Except that didn’t work out. I was able to get them up to Dream Date no problem, but Crett then decided to buy a magazine and ended the date as soon as he’d paid. I think that’s probably because I have Paladin’s Customer Leave After Purchase in (because otherwise running businesses is an unholy PITA).

Friggin’ magazines, though.

Anyway. Tomorrow is another day - and another date, for that matter. To Day 4!

Day 4 being Sunday, we start things off at church.

Kaytris spends most of her morning making friends with Brother Cernin and raising her Faith. Then guess who shows up?

Tirwyn! That’s convenient; we can have the date right here. And if they can’t woohoo ... well, that’s only fair, since Crett didn’t get much of a chance (or at least didn’t avail himself of the chance he could have taken).

Another successful Caress of Doom!

Brother Cernin: “Er, should I be worried?”

Nah. There’s only a tent on this lot, so they can’t casual woohoo in that.

“Oh, that’s--wait, casual woohoo???”

Whoops, probably shouldn’t have let the good brother know that’s a thing ...

They sound like a pair of dying cats, but what can I say, the interaction is cute.

Another Dream Date done!

Kaytris finishes up her round making more flowers (she has 20 daisies so far ... and no bronze badge in sight), earning another creativity skill point, and taking advantage of the last bit of fall to earn a few cooking skill points, too.

And I’m still stuck on who she should end up with.

Kaytris:

... I don’t have the hacks for that, and it’s against your religion, Kaytris, but believe me, I’m thinking about it.

Right now I’m leaning more toward Crett, simply because he’s Kaytris’s OTP according to ACR. But we’ll see how she does on Free Will, wandering around town with both men available. Maybe the game will make up my mind for me!

Anyway, that’s enough from me for one night. Thanks for reading, and happy Simming!

#tressia bacc #tressia bacc: round 7 #tressia bacc: etinger #sims 2 bacc

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celebjar · 5 years ago

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Jeremy Clarkson’s daughter Emily Clarkson in Bikini – Instagram Photos 11-8-2019

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THIS IS MY FIGHT SONG 👊🏼🎤🕺 Got a lil distracted packing for NYC hahaha. Trainers and a neck cushion, really that’s all you need for a long haul flight& a marathon right?! I’ve actually been feeling hella anxious this week. It happened the week before Edinburgh too – it obviously has a lot to do with the very long run I’ve got hanging over me but I think it’s also because whilst I’m tapering, my body, and more importantly my head, misses exercise – I KNOW, WHO'DA THOUGHT?!! When I stop doing it for a few days I realise how important my daily sweat is for my mental health and without it I slip quickly back into negative thinking patterns and being that weird combination of having very “blerugh” energy levels but also being a massive balls of anxious nerves. So yeh I felt like an angsty slug today and I wanted to pull myself out of it COS NEW YORK BABY SO EXCITING I NEED TO DRINK THIS ALL IN!!!! This morning I asked for your best running songs ever (please keep sending them in, I’m making a massive playlist for the marathon that I will make public!!) and this came up loads. So I did what I do best. Took all my clothes off and gave my downstairs neighbours something to moan about. YOU DONT HAVE TO GO TO THE GYM TO GET SWEATY YOU KNOW?!!?! You don’t have to run a 10k or deadlift the equivalent of a child. You don’t need to SMASH a PB or push yourself until your heart falls out your arse. You can just jiggle if ya want. Here’s me jigglin. My body is AMAZING. And I’m about to put it through hell- the least I could do was give it some love before I do eh?! It’s (REALLY) easy to be critical of your body but its so much lovelier to be lovely to it. Here’s to my wonderful home. Soft and strong& brave and beautiful. Thank you for carrying me through my life and putting up with my CRAZY whims!! To be able to run is such a privilege. To have a body that allows me to do it is such a gift. I’m so lucky. Remind me of that at mile 18. NYC HERE WE COME! (I’m running TCS NYC marathon with @intersportrunning & @newbalanceuk)

A post shared by Emily Clarkson (@em_clarkson) on Oct 31, 2019 at 12:02pm PDT

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Were it not for the lil budgie smuggler underneath me here you ~might~ have been seeing a bit more of this gal on yer telly next summer. Alas, I chose actual love over a new range rover and a collab with misguided 🌚 hahahahaha I don’t know if it’s the done thing to talk about this but I had a phone call from some tv producers today and I’m absolutely dead/can’t stop laughing/ had to share because look at @katyaclarkson’s reaction – swipe 😂😂😂. So yes no Majorca for me. But let’s hope it’ll be someone else’s makeup free face/cellulite/give-a-fuckness instead, it’s about time reality tv turned a bit more real after all 🤷🏼‍♀️

A post shared by Emily Clarkson (@em_clarkson) on Oct 30, 2019 at 1:08pm PDT

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My head ballooning after getting all the likes on my sexc af edited pics 🤯 if you missed the piece I wrote last week for The Sun about the dangers of FaceTune, please read it, the link is in my bio. I know I bang on about this shit a lot, but it’s important. Not just for the mental well-being of Instagram users on the whole, existing on a diet of photoshop and impossible beauty standards to compare themselves to, but for the mental health of the individuals using these apps to distort their own reality too. It’s an entirely addictive process, the photoshop one, and incredibly toxic. Over 50 million people have downloaded FaceTune. That’s 50 million people who’s online image is very different to the one they see in the mirror. 50 million people who have eradicated their insecurities and as a result are further away than ever from embracing them. It’s very hard to love your real self if your online self is so much “better”. I feel passionately that it is not the fault of the users, only acting this way as a result of the extraordinary pressure on all of us to be perfect, but the fault of a society that perpetuates bullshit ideals. We don’t fucking need this shit. We are glorious. Absolutely glorious and the internet would be bloody lucky to see us in all of our natural gloriousness ✨ #fuckfacetune #effyourbeautystandards #selflove

A post shared by Emily Clarkson (@em_clarkson) on Oct 21, 2019 at 12:28pm PDT

Emily Clarkson in Bikini – Instagram Photos 11-8-2019 Jeremy Clarkson's daughter Emily Clarkson in Bikini – Instagram Photos 11-8-2019

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northpolenotes · 6 years ago

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Auntieviews Volume 2 : Perryn Ojevwe – The Marshmallow Aunt

Hello there fellow Aunts and Aunties. Welcome back to Auntieviews. In this volume, I’ll be featuring Perryn Ojevwe. Full disclosure, Perryn is not only a Mother of 3 and an Aunt to 20+ niblings, but she’s also my best friend and big sister. Perryn and I talk about anything and everything. In fact, we talk on the phone so much that sometimes we just stop talking altogether but remain on the phone in silence. It’s weird, but that’s sister life for you. Since I started my quest for fun, loving, and cool Aunts to interview, I thought, why not ask my sister? She’s been an Aunt for a long time, she’s quite active in her niblings lives, and it’s always seemed to me that it’s come naturally to her. It’s funny that even though we talk a lot (seriously, I can’t stress this enough), we never discussed Aunthood with one another. I know how much she cares for her niblings because I can see all that she does for them, but I never picked her brain about how she feels about it. So I sat her down (not really, she’s a working Mom. I had to email her A LOT!) and I got to the nitty-gritty of how she views Aunthood. So let’s get started with The Pern AKA Pepsi, AKA Mommy, AKA Perryn’s interview.

Background.

Perryn was raised in Oyster Bay, New York with me and my brother, Michael. She’s the oldest sibling of us three and also the only one with children. She was an only child for about 4 years before my brother came along and then roughly 2 years later, I popped out. She’ll often reflect on her glory days as an only child and freely admits to despising both my brother and me equally when we were kids. Despite her years of disinterest and disdain, the three of us have developed a very strong bond with one another. We went through our times of fighting as adolescents and short periods when we didn’t speak at all, but that’s just part of growing up. As an adult, I think our lives are fuller when we’re all together.

Perryn got married in 2008 to her longtime, long-distance boyfriend Pius and moved to Maryland to be with him (jerk). She lives there now with her husband and 3 of my niblings, Layla (8), Jayden (5) and Julian (3). My sister and BIL love magic shows, watching America’s Got Talent, and traveling when they can. Perryn loves reading spy novels (cause she’s an idiot – inside joke) and has a natural talent for making beautiful handmade macrame bookmarks. She needs these little pleasures in life because she has a very serious and mentally taxing profession. She’s a Clinical Social Worker. I don’t understand her titled either, but it means she does therapy and provides supervision to other clinicians who work with people with mental illness, sexual behavior problems, cognitive limitation, and a host of other things. As if that’s not tiring enough, she also works very hard raising my niblings. She tries to keep them engaged and active as possible, constantly cooking, baking, crafting, busing them to events and activities, and when she has a free minute, throwing them all in the bathtub for a scrub down. She gives tirelessly both professionally and personally. And yes, that might sound like a lot of Moms, but my sister doesn’t just do this for her own children. She does it for her nieces and nephews too, and that’s why I’ve chosen her for this installment of Auntieviews.

The Interview.

What is your background as an Aunt? How many do you have? How long of you been an aunt and how old were you when you first became one?

I first became an aunt when my best friend had her first daughter twenty years ago. I was 20 years old and my friend lived in Florida while I was up in NY. There was no facetime or skype or anything so I got developed film pics in the snail mail. I would send her silly things in the mail and looked forward to a physical visit once a year or so. Then came my Goddaughter a couple years later, the second child to my friend. She had a third, a son. In 2005 my cousin, who is like a sister to me, had a baby girl. I was 28 at the time. My other bestie had two sons and one I was there for the birth- honorary moment in life. My husband’s side started calling me Auntie from the moment they met me, but I didn’t feel like I was actually their aunt until bonding with the family. In fact, the children were a huge part of my being accepted by the rest of the family. There are now 26 living grandchildren on his side. Three are my children so 23 of them call me Auntie. Whoa! It’s a lot! And we are still growing, and about to have some great nibs on the way as the older nieces and nephews enter adulthood.

How old are your nieces/nephews now?

They range from newborn to 30. There are chunks of them. Ages 0-3 there are 6, 4-12 brings in another14, ages 13-17 has a collection of 5 and finally, 18-30 is 5 more.

It doesn’t matter how your niblings have come into your life, either by choice or relation, but most children refer to us as Aunts or Aunties. What do your nieces or nephews call you?

I’m called Aunt Perryn and Auntie Perryn, depending on which side of the street they are calling from. My side- which consists of my cousin’s daughter who I consider a niece and couple of friends’ children refer to me as Aunt Perryn. My husband’s side calls me either just Auntie or Auntie Perryn. Their culture prefers them to leave off the first name of the adult, but I, quite frankly like hearing my name. I don’t want to be lost to a title, I want my individuality to come through as do I of the other Aunts and Aunties around me.

Do you live close to your nieces and nephews or are you a long-distance aunt?

I live far away and always have. Over the years when all these babes have been born it has been very difficult being far away, but we make up for it when we do see each other.

How do you compare your role as a mother to your role as an aunt? If you can, describe some similarities and some differences.

Similar in that your heart never stops for all of them. You worry, you care, you experience joy, pride, in all of them. Of course (particularly in my case) you are closer to some than others. But all of them, blood or otherwise have moved into a special place and will never be evicted (unless convicted and even then…). With my children I know they see me as an enforcer and that my attention should be on them all the time no matter what. When I see the niblings because I live far away from them all, we are usually doing something social and so my attention can and will be on them for the entire time. I will be offering some sort of craft, baking, or game to do if we are not already at some children like rec place.

What are some of your favorite activities to do with your niblings?

I love to create with them. I like to do group activities with them and watch the glee on their faces. I love buying things for them and doing crafts or games – mostly with the assistance of my sister; whether she introduced me to the game or is right beside me lining kids up to put Vaseline on their noses so they can attach to it a cotton ball at the other end of the room. I also like to have open conversations with the older ones about things that they may not want to discuss with just anyone. I have comfort talking about uncomfortable things with adolescents so I try to be there in that way for them. When they are little I try to give undivided attention so that they can bond with me.

As an aunt what’s the biggest value you feel you bring to the family?

As an Aunt the biggest value I bring is silliness. I know that is simple, but sometimes we need simple. And baked goods. One thing I bring more as an aunt than as a parent is patience. I believe that I see my children as an extension of self too much and so many expectations can be higher without even realizing it in the moment, yet niblings I see as children in need of guidance and so I provide it.

What is one good piece of advice that you would give it to any new Aunt?

Spoil em. Being an aunt is so rewarding. Respect the parents’ parenting, don’t undermine the parent so you can continue to have a close relationship with the nibbling.

What is one of the biggest difficulties you’ve experienced as an Aunt? How did you overcome it if at all?

When I was a not yet a mother, it was a big battle for me to not judge the parents of my niblings and thought I had better answers to their styles. That was difficult. I probably struggle with that now as well, but on a much smaller scale as I have, for one, matured, and for two, I have children of my own and recognize how challenging parenting and making those decisions can be.

If you go back in time and give your younger and self a piece of advice what would it be? And why?

Stop making rules all the time. I think I lived too rigidly in my earlier years and I would tell myself it’s not necessary to try to control everything around you. That doesn’t make you vulnerable. Things are going to happen regardless of how many barriers you put up around yourself. Deal with it as it comes and roll with positivity. I love the Cheerios commercial- “good goes around and around and around…” I use it all the time now.

I was once told that being a Mom is all cake and being an Aunt is like icing on the cake. How do you feel about that comparison?

Having both roles in my life I understand what the person was trying to say. However, you could say that about being a father (as they tend to take fewer responsibility roles with children), the grandparents as they have raised their children and are now there for the fun stuff, and of course the crazy uncle. I think that person was feeling overwhelmed when she said that. Jealous that she couldn’t pick up and go when she wanted, feeling frustrated because almost everyone loves icing because it is sweet and fluffy, bring happiness. But, I believe, being an aunt is what you make it. If the ingredients you combine in your aunting tole are about injecting yourself into all the layers of the nibbling then you are the cake, the filling, the icing and the scoop of ice cream. Being an aunt is no joke. The way I play it, I step in when a parent is in need or not available. Icing can’t step in for cake!

If you had to compare your relationship as an aunt to a food what would it be and why?

If I were to compare myself as a food to declare my aunthood it would be a marshmallow. I’m squishy and huggable, and yet, I am firm enough to not just succumb. I’m a supportive role, that’s flexible to what is needed.

Final Thoughts.

I hope that you enjoyed reading Perryn’s interview of Aunthood. I realized from interviewing her that she’s been a role model for me as a Long Distant Aunt. We can’t always live close to our nieces and nephews because life sometimes forces us to be apart. However, that doesn’t mean that we Aunts can’t be active in their lives from far away. Little efforts go a long way, especially through the eyes of children. I can tell you as an outsider looking into her relationship with her niblings that she’s their go-to Aunt. When Auntie Perryn is in town they know what to expect: FUN, laughter, and tasty treats!

I’d love to hear from more Aunts! If you’d like to share your story of Aunthood please contact me using the form below!

[contact-form-7]

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iyarpage · 7 years ago

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How (and Why) to Get Everyone Sketching

If experience has taught me anything it’s that pictures are better than words, nothing aligns everyone’s understanding of a web design problem like a quick scribble with a sharpie (other writing instruments are available). It’s the quickest, easiest and cheapest way of making others understand your design thinking… so why don’t we do it more often?… in fact why doesn’t everybody do it?

Why?!

Maybe we scare people off? one thing we often fall foul of as UX designers is making our sketches impressively artistic (which is great – it lends them an air of creativity and makes them easier to progress “look at these beautiful sketches” etc etc) but we need to realise that this really isn’t the point of sketching. We sketch to quickly and simply convey information.

Often our ‘artistic’ sketches can make others feel like sketching is an activity reserved for creatives – more like a piece of art than a simple piece of information.

This creates a fear in everyone else that their quick scribble on a post-it note or napkin isn’t good enough, that the snooty designers might point and laugh and at it (sadly not always an unreasonable fear).

But it’s one we need to dissuade as much as possible—there’s huge value in getting all the people involved in any web design project comfortable with sharing their thoughts and their feedback visually.

If you still need convincing, imagine this scenario – a classic email ping pong conversation that we’ve all experienced before:

Client: Hey, Can you move the block to the centre. Thanks You: Hi, Yeah sure which block? Regards Client: Hello, Just the one at the top please. You: Hi, Ermm do you mean in the header? Client: Not sure, is the header the top bit? You: Yes the element at the top of the page with the hero banner and primary CTA Client: Sorry you’ve lost me, it’s the button you click that I want moving You: Ah right…which button? [crying noises]

Instead of 18 wasted emails of 2 difficult phone conversations and a nervous breakdown, imagine this being the conversation

Client: Hey, Can you move the block to the centre – like this. Thanks

So how do we do this? how do you convince ‘Brian from Accounts’ that he can, and should, sketch out his ideas for the new finance software?

How

So if the main blocker for most people is a perceived lack of artistic skills “I couldn’t possibly draw something I’m not a designer” right off the bat you need to make sure everyone knows that the neatness or attractiveness of a sketch is irrelevant. People need to see a sketch as just a quick and easy way to communicate certain things, with the emphasis on quick. One of my favourite ways to frame it with people is to politely ask “would you be able to do me a real quick rough sketch of that? Nothing detailed, just scribble it out and send me a pic of it?”

Usually this is enough for good old Brian from accounts to pick up a pen and give it a try but there can be others issues.

Logistics

With the remote nature of some teams and clients it’s rarely as easy as walking round to someone’s desk with the actual paper a sketch is on. Faxing it is a little retro and mailing it might take a while! But thankfully technology easily comes to the rescue, just encourage people to scan their sketch or even take a picture on their phone if needs be.

Easy to use software that allows digital sketching such as inVision also exists. These tools allow amazing ways to collaboratively sketch, but while they are indispensable to many UX Designers it’s always worth considering how daunting this might feel to the audience we’re talking about before suggesting it.

Not My Job

As we’ve discussed the biggest barrier to getting everybody on board with sketching is usually a fear of being laughed at—‘how stupid and quaint it is that Brian from accounts thinks he can design now.’

This is even more true of your senior clients or stakeholders—this stems from the fact that there’s something quite vulnerable about presenting things that you’ve drawn yourself. A CEO of a massive mega global organisation may be very comfortable firing off written directions in email form but sketching some feedback to go along with it won’t come naturally to them at all; it’s not their job.

To get round this one it’s a case of setting expectations and positioning a sketch as nothing more than a scribble, something that won’t be viewed based on its artistic merits or shared unnecessarily. What I’ve found works well in the past is to demonstrate this. By this I mean actually creating a super rough and ugly sketch yourself early on in the project to prove a point. Show everyone that it’s ok to share that ‘napkin sketch’ without fear of it being publicly mocked.

When

So now you’ve (hopefully) got everyone onboard with sketching is there a right and a wrong time to entourage it?

In truth whenever you’re involving others in your project you should be pushing people to express themselves through a quick scribble—communicating ideas visually just works better nine times out of ten. There are however points in a project where you’ll find you can get the best out of sketching as a methodology, in my experience there are 2 key areas that benefit most.

Ideas Time

Early idea generation is a fantastic time to be encouraging the quick iteration of ideas that sketching allows – ideally with everyone in the same room clutching a sharpie. You’ll find that by getting everyone actively contributing to the creative process, regardless of their role, will remove a number of project hurdles very quickly – it also has the unexpected benefit of helping you get buy-in from everybody if they feel like they had an active hand in defining your design solution. If they drew a little bit of it themselves – they’re invested!

A nice simple way to get people sketching in this kind of situation is to lay the room out so that everybody has a pad and pens sat in front of them begging to be picked up and used.

Feedback Loops

Any point at which feedback is being gathered is the other time where I’ve found you can get the most benefit from encouraging everybody to sketch. The biggest benefit you’ll likely see here is the wonderful time saving you can get from removing misunderstandings (and the inevitable frustration that comes with them).

Obviously receiving a tiny sketch of every single feedback point from every single stakeholder would quickly drive even the most seasoned UX Designers round the twist (basic feedback like “Change LTD to Plc in footer please” would rarely benefit from an accompanying sketch). Instead just try and make sure your stakeholders know that if they think that any of their feedback might be tricky to follow you’d love them forever if they attach a quick sketch or even print out the design/page/wireframe in question and scribble on top of it.

So next project, break out the felt tip pens and hand them around.

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