#yes people tell me things but i can't believe what they say
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Does Berk think Hiccup is frivolous in Httyd 1? Maybe a little bit aloof?
Stoick tells him to stop joking around in the opening scene of the movie, after the dagons have left. "This isn't a joke, Hiccup!" He tells him. And he tells him that after his rant about how he has things to worry about, like making sure the village doesn't starve in the coming winter, Hiccup answers to with a sassy "the village could do with a little less feeding, don't you think?" Which really only manages to make Stoick even more mad.
After their first lesson in dragon training, Gobber asks the class "where did Hiccup go wrong?" and Astrid's response is "he's never where he should be." I think she means it literally. Why is Hiccup, of all people, in dragon training? Ruffnut and Tuffnut make sense. Snotlout makes sense. Even Fishlegs makes sense. (especially since Fishlegs has already shown effort by memorizing the Book of Dragons, effort Astrid clearly approves of given her shock at the twins and Snotlout disregarding Gobber's order to read the book.)
But Hiccup? Hiccup McSassyPants? Who gets told that his village could starve in the winter and answers with "well maybe they should eat less"? Who steps outside during a raid and actually causes more damage than the dragons pretending he's capturing a Night Fury? What is he doing in dragon training? That class literally ended with Hiccup almost losing his life to a Gronckle.
This is further backed up when after she has to protect both herself and Hiccup from a Deadly Nadder, which happened because Hiccup wasn't paying attention the whole time, getting them both in trouble. (Which is because he's fixating on figuring out a certain Night Fury, but they don't know that. To them, it just looks like he's annoying Gobber with meaningless questions. Why are you asking about the Night Fury? The one dragon who's single instruction is "hide and pray it doesn't find you"?) She explicitly asks him "Is this some kind of a joke to you?"
Followed up by "Our parent's war is about to become ours. Figure out which side you're on."
Once again someone questions Hiccup about how serious he takes things. But it's more than that, she's trying to give him a wake up call! Wake up, Hiccup, our parents are actually fighting a genuine war here and someday it'll be your turn! Stop making everything a joke before you get yourself or someone else killed!
Astrid actually isn't as much against Hiccup at this point as people often believe. There are actually a few points in which she eithers feels sorry for him or tries to help him in her own Astrid-y way. (And if the deleted scene hadn't been deleted, there would've been an almost friendly conversation had between the two before dragon training even starts)
Let's also not forget Hiccup's and Stoick's talk before dragon training even starts. When Stoick shows some actual vulnerability by laying his son's life in his son's and Gobber's hands when he decides to give in and let Hiccup go to dragon training while he's off on a voyage.
Hiccup tells his father "I don't wanna fight dragons!" in a tone that is rather pleading. To which is father chuckles and says to him "come on, yes you do!"
Remember in the opening, Hiccup practically makes the claim that he lives and breathes to kill dragon, it's "who he is." And now he suddenly claims he doesn't want to fight dragons at all? Can't fight them?
Stoick keeps his tone light, telling his son that he will fight dragons, don't you worry about that, Hiccup. With Hiccup doubling down that he's very extra-sure that he can't fight dragons, which makes Stoick double down in return, his levity disappearing.
"Can you not hear me?" Hiccup asks, desperate to be heard.
"This is serious, son!" Says Stoick. Which makes this three times that Hiccup is explicitly told to take something serious. (And you can just see the disbelieve or realization in Hiccup's eyes as he's once again not being listened to.)
(Followed by Stoick telling him to act like everyone else and to stop being Hiccup, which gets him, you guessed it, a sarcastic remark from Hiccup.)
We know that Hiccup changed his mind about participating in dragon training because he found out he couldn't kill Toothless. (or rather, he can't kill the scared and the defenseless, as the Red Death would later show) But Stoick doesn't know that. Berk actually seems to know very little about Hiccup and that's why they think that he's joking around at all times.
I'm willing to bet that the "disasters" he causes "every time he steps outside" aren't much of a help either. (and I wonder how many of these are actually Hiccup's fault or if Hiccup happened to be involved, so the blame is just automatically put on him.)
And this isn't a post to bash Hiccup. I love him to death, I love his sass as much as any other fan. And I am very much of the opinion that Hiccup's sass is a defense mechanism.
His feelings get hurt, so he tries to hurt someone else's back. Like when he probably feels guilty about his father worrying about the village getting through the winter, so he makes that comment about how the village could eat less to offset that guilt. (Which again, only makes Stoick angrier.) And I think the proof is in the rest of the franchise.
Hiccup sasses the most when he's 15-16, a.k.a from Httyd 1 to DoB. But by the time we see him again in RttE (chronologically) he sasses a little less and in a friendlier and more playful context, but he has also matured to deal with his negative feelings differently. RttE is, chronologically, when Stoick actually begins to consider if his son is ready to be chief. He can see how much Hiccup has matured, especially when there's such physicaly distance between them. It's the equivalent of not seeing someone over summer break or watching someone go traveling and see how much they've changed when you reunite with them.
(also, he can knock Snotlout unconscious with a single punch, I bet that helps as well.)
But it is the way Hiccup chooses to defend himself, giving sassy comments (think "Thanks, I was trying!" to Snotlout's comment about the mess he made) to either painful comments about him or actual serious statements like the ones Stoick makes that still gets him in the feels that make him seem so shallow and unserious in the eyes of Berk.
Then there is his apparent history of crying wolf. When he actually does manage to shoot down a Night Fury, his father doesn't believe him and Hiccup explicitly says "this isn't like the last few times, I mean I really actually hit it! It went down!"
When you combine all of this, you get a teenager who doesn't appear to take anybody serious, including the lives of himself and others. Terrible traits to have as a person, let alone when you're the chief's son.
Somehow, a narrative of frivolity and aloofness was build around Hiccup that he just could not escape no matter how much he tried to crawl out of it. At some point, Berk put him in a box, marked it "jokester" and Hiccup's efforts to get out of that box only grew and grew. When his efforts failed, whenever he sassed back, Berk just pushed him even deeper into that box. Not looking further into what Hiccup actually needed or was trying to say.
Do I think Berk was right? Not at all, because this is all surface-level, things Hiccup legitimately says and does to protect himself and nobody realizes this.
Toothless doesn't speak a single word to him during the Forbidden Friendship scene, yet he can get across exactly what he expects from Hiccup (mainly "keep your distance, I don't trust you enough") without being mean about it. He doesn't snap, he doesn't bare his teeth. He just gives him faces that Hiccup understands. Only growling or hissing when Hiccup passes a boundary Toothless very clearly isn't comfortable with. (or, let's say, when his feelings are hurt, like when Hiccup steps on toothless' first drawing.)
And it's because he's not mean about it that he actually makes more progress with Hiccup in half a day than Berk does his entire 15 years.
And that's sad. That's what this post is about. About how sad it is that Berk takes Hiccup at a very shallow level and decides that must be his entire self as a person.
#and then somewhere during the movie#i think specifically when hiccup makes a stand against astrid and tells her ''no'' because he refuses to sell toothless out#that astrid also realizes there is so much more to him than she thought#and that is why she decided to see this through with him rather than go straight to stoick#i'm also thinking about that scene in rtte season 5#when astrid tells hiccup that she likes how sensitive he is#''don't tell that to stoick'' hiccup tells her playfully#to which she responds with ''oh i think he knows. everybody knows''#hiccup went from being seen as someone who doesn't care about anyone to someone who cares just a little bit too much#httyd movies#httyd#how to train your dragon#hiccup haddock#toothless#hicctooth#berk#stoick the vast#the haddocks#snotlout jorgenson#astrid hofferson
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
for all that us snape fans say how we love his character because he is flawed and complex, i find it disappointing how many of us can't extend that line of thinking towards lily, while pretending that young severus was entirely innocent. i've noticed this a lot recently and it's been bothering me quite a bit so i've felt the need to defend lily, or to be exact, analyse the downfall of their relationship without basically giving her all the blame and instead looking at both characters and especially lily more critically.
so. let's talk about the conversation between her and severus after the werewolf prank. some snape fans harshly criticise her in this scene because she insists that james saved severus and doesn't acknowledge how serious this prank was, while insisting that at least the marauders don't use dark magic.
and i agree that she should have been more on severus' side in this case. after all he could have died or gotten seriously injured, turned into a werewolf etc and she downplays the severity of the situation and generally doesn't acknowledge how the marauders bullied severus very much. so yes, she could have been a better friend here.
but at the same time, from her perspective, she was already noticing that severus was spending more time with his housemates, all of them aspiring death eaters, how he had always looked up to lucius and was slowly heading down that same path. how he didn't truly disapprove of his housemates disgusting actions towards muggleborns - her own kind. even though it's not entirely logical, since we see through the marauders that light magic can be used to do harm aswell, this also explains her dislike of dark arts, which these (aspiring) death eaters all were fond of and using to do awful things to her friends (and hogwarts also pretty much teaches that dark magic is pure evil). by this point she had most likely also experienced discrimination at hogwarts for being muggleborn. she knew the situation in the wizarding world wasn't favourable for her, and now her best friend was starting to agree with those people?
the next notable event was of course snapes worst memory (sigh, here i go talking about it for the millionth time). and i really don't like how some people on our side of the fandom talk about lily in this scene (of course, this is not all of us).
first of all we saw that she initially smiled upon seeing severus be bullied, and yes, this was honestly quite disgusting. we know that severus saw this and was rightfull hurt, and this very well could be the reason why he snapped at her. but that is her only 'crime' in this scene. because she then does quickly turn against james and this entire crowd and defends severus. only for james to insult and threaten her, and severus to call her a 'filthy little mudblood'.
now, people say she should have done more to defend severus, that her attempt was quite half-hearted. i don't know. maybe she could have done more, but she did tell the marauders to stop, you can't say she didn't try. some say she should have hexed james herself or bring up her prefect role (although i'm not sure it's confirmed she was one at this time). but say she was a prefect, her job would be to stop fighting, which she tried to do, not to get involved in fights herself. and you can tell that james is entirely dismissive of her and clearly won't let her stop him no matter what, even threatening her in the process. lily also genuinely seems to still hate him at this point in time, she is described to have been disgusted with him to the point where even harry questions his parents marriage. so i don't believe it's fair to say she was just 'flirting' with james here.
furthermore, people believe she should have forgiven severus for being called a mudblood. i used to agree that it wasn't that serious, but i feel differently now. because it wasn't just a word, it wasn't a one time mistake or slip up or even the first time she noticed that he was slowly turning into a future death eater. that's why i brought up their conversation after the prank. lily knows that severus' descend into the death eaters arms had been going on for months, years even. being called - not even just mudblood, but hearing the words "i don't need help from a filthy little mudblood like her" out of the mouth of her former best friend was just the final nail in the coffin. it was her confirmation that severus was finally too far down that road, and she, as a muggleborn, could no longer justify surrounding herself with him. so she abandons him at the scene, and i can't blame her one bit.
of course this post is not meant to be severus bashing in any way, he is and always will be my favorite character, but i don't enjoy pretending he was completely innocent, even his younger self. this is also not to excuse the marauders, as their bullying never had anything to do with severus possibly being a death eater and was really just for fun and because they could, and because he was an easy victim. but i truly believe that lily deserves some grace and also to be analysed as a complex character like severus, rather than painting her as one dimensional, either fully good or fully bad.
severus becoming a death eater is the tragic result of his background and surroundings, and when we analyse him we factor all of this in. lily was wealthier, had a better family, was pretty, smart and popular and had a good support system in and out of hogwarts. she couldn't understand why severus made the choices he did. maybe as an adult she would have looked back and understood it all better. but as it was, she was just a teenage girl watching her best friend turn against people like her and not knowing what to do about that. and what's also important to me to point out is that it was not her job to try and stop this, to try and fix him or whatever. it was first and foremost the adults in severus' life who failed him over and over again, not lily.
finally a lot of us can't understand how lily ended up marrying her former friends abuser and use this as an argument against her, but i honestly don't want to go too deep into this topic. i personally strongly dislike this relationship, because james treated lily herself like shit too, aswell as other people. we have to believe that he truly did change, even if there is not much to prove this. even if he did, i personally wouldn't have been able to forgive him. but i don't believe that marrying james makes lily a bad person by extension or anything. ultimately, if she was able to find happiness, i'm happy for her.
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Random headcannons that'll never be headcannons but I just had them and should share them with you
If Narinder was transmasc
- In his universe, Narinder would've shared this with Shamura and Shamura only, as he was still apparently a child to Kallamar and Leshy and Heket were "too innocent to understand"
- Shamura recieved him with arms wide open, letting him change socially and physically to match his gender identity, in little steps, so his silobings had opportunity to understand what was happening
- When he was finally in a sociably acceptable masculine form, as gifts, would start reviving his silibing's cultists, but also himself's
- Obviously this ended on the same timelime, this time, Lamb would be awfully surprised to notice that his master had a gentle voice instead of the raspy, low and scream-consumed voice of his, this because Narinder refused to talk a lot for not letting people think he eas too femenine
- The same story asnin CoTL would be played, except that when Narinder was on the floor of the Purgatory with a sword in his chest, Lamb noticed the scars of a long time ago era, thinking it was just because of a fight, decided to leave it like it was
- Obviously, if y'all like Narilamb, in this case, Lamb was passing by his partner's tent, when he noticed a quiet, weak sob on it, despite his rough looking exterior, Narinder was curling on the floor, Lamb let it slide for the moment, thinking he needed to get over something
TW: Can be slightly suggestive or triggering
- Despite his desire of enjoying a sexual time with Lamb, he couldn't bring up to tell him that he had not a matching genitalia to his "social body", and the first time they were just randomly pushing and shoving on teasing and saying comments, the thing got strong and well...
- Lamb at first was extremly confused, Narinder was awkward, trying to calm his rising anxiety, and as while Lamb tried to figure out, he got "The Leaf™" and rushed away
- After he found him, his concersation was like:
"I was scared, Lamb. I didn't knew it would upset you"
"Upset me? I mean, it was a surprise, yes, but i wasn't upset, I don't know what you've been through but I can assure you, you'll never stop being my partner over some; sexual matter"
"... Hey"
"Hm?"
"Thanks. For, accepting what am I"
"No problem, anytime you need"
- Of course, if you want to believe they or they don't had s word, it's something else, but we can't left eithout mentioning that Narinder's cramps and period always had made him a mess, and Lamb always takes care of him so he doesn't feels any alone, if he's on crusade, he always makes sure Narinder's gonna be alright 🫶
#cult of the lamb#cotl au#cotl narinder#cult of the lamb narinder#follower narinder#cotl lamb#idk what to tag lmfao#cotl fanart#transmasc#headcanon
22 notes
·
View notes
Note
Thinking about the characters who are still in MeAfterlife (Some of them have canonically seen people they were friends with die too)
Also that 4s can't even attempt the red line game because it would, at best, cause him to take back over the body.
Hi there!!!^^ Welcome, and thank you for your submission!!!!!! X] Strap in because you've given me THOUGHTS.
So we're gonna focus on 4S here because it makes my heart go pitter patter that he never attempts the red line game. He has been inside MeLife for a decade or so, almost completely alone before everyone linked to MeLife got deleted, (since it's not as though Mephone just went around deleting people he made, yeah? We don't know if he ever ended up meeting Box, but I hope they did meet.) and he never tried it. He never regretted giving his life up for Mephone4's. It doesn't get more the brothers of all time than, guys, idk what to tell you.
Onto the THOUGHTS. And by that I mean an entire AU has spawned. Gold star for you, anon!! Okay, please consider Taco and 4S interactions pls. Yeah big surprise my THOUGHTS are about Taco. Anyways, consider her not being revived post-Truth or Flare and meeting 4S inside of MeLife, yeah? One ex-villain who redeemed himself with his last act and one villain who believed she could never be redeemed and played her act until the bitter end. I'm cooking people. So, to clarify real quick, Mepad would absolutely not let this happen if Truth or Flare played out as it did in canon, so there would have to be a little tweaking here, but it's not too tough actually. Taco just doesn't turn him on. She can teleport without him being on, he himself says she didn't need to activate his consciousness to get the files for the challenge, so she just. Doesn't. Even in canon I think she does it in a, erm, moment of weakness in a sense, with her missing Mic's company and deciding to turn him on for someone to talk to. In this version she simply wouldn't let herself do that and shake off the notion of doing such a thing, continuing to stubbornly ignore her feelings. She does Truth or Flare with Mepad's body as her hostage rather than just himself, dies, and isn't revived. Mepad would be powered back on and get the details on what happened from Mephone4, who would conveniently not mention that Taco died. Being more caught up in the challenge/elimination/making sure Mepad is okay/the next elimination, the contestants wouldn't think about her revival until later, in which they could safety assume Mephone has already revived her while they weren't around since they have no precedent for him not reviving people at this point.
And then there's Taco. Dead. Wakes up in MeLife and honestly? Not very happy to be waking up at all. Was hoping for a more final death. Believes herself to be incapable of starting over in more ways than one, was kind of hoping to just be done with everything when she'd died. She'd wander around the void for a while, it's still mostly empty at this point so there's not much to see, run into 4S!!!!! And!!!!!!!! We see him having words of wisdom for Knife in the finale, and he could have some for Taco too!!!!!!!!!!! They would not be delivered as... gently as Mepad delivers his, but still!!! They've both been pretty shit!!!!! Hard!!!!! Especially with Pickle, interestingly enough!! I don't have an exact discussion for them to have yet since I came up with this au like 20 minutes ago when I read this ask but hopefully you guys are picking up what I'm putting down!!! They can talk, or Taco can be talked at, since she's still incredibly sad at this point, about redemption and being better and past mistakes and fhueifhuerifhruei. I need them to interact!!!!!!
So, either 4S could revive Taco on his own- he probably knows about the red line game and could throw her all the way over the line if he really wanted to. She is a rather throwable shape, after all. As well, he could probably approve her revival himself, in the way that Mephone had to press "Yes" to revive all the contestants in the finale. It's his hardware, after all. So he could have a nice talk with her and than throw her out back into the world (like that one vine)!!! Or, in the finale when everyone's been deleted, the two of them can meet up with everyone else. I do like this one because they get more time to bond and talk!!! More development for Taco!!!! And more pain for her because leaving MeLife means leaving 4S behind. So they end up finding everyone at the Wall of Them All and Taco finds out that Mephone created them!! She can not catch a break, my angel <3. "...I'm really gonna do it this time, 4S". Anyways. She probably wouldn't want to come back with everyone, honestly. She hasn't gotten to be rejected by Pickle yet, yeah, but she also didn't connect with Mepad and hasn't made up with Mic either. 4S is her only friend, she really doesn't see any reason for her to go back to life. 4S would though!!!! 4S would be pretty adamant on going back, and even if they haven't made up yet, I think Mic would also encourage her to come back!!! Despite their break up, Mic's yearning was still a 7/10 at this point, and either way she doesn't want Taco dead forever, and has been very worried about her especially since hearing about Truth or Flare. The fact that Taco wants to remain dead is also very concerning!!! So she and 4S end up saying their goodbyes and she plays the red line game <3.
I will stop here since this is no longer about your ask. Sorry!!!!! This is fun to think about though!!!! :D
#inanimate insanity#ii taco#taco ii#loomy's answers#inanimate insanity hc#ii mic#mic ii#ii mephone4s#mephone4s ii#4s ii#ii 4s#i dont really know how to tag him hope that's right#mepad ii#ii mepad#mephone4 ii#ii mephone4#mephone ii#ii mephone#loomy's aus#loomy's au#tacomic#ah shit did i make the tag plural#anyways sorry if this one sucks like i said it is very new and not as thought out as ones i usually share
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
@superiorsturgeon
I understand and agree. In the grand scheme of things, it means nothing. You are absolutely correct. However.
I've been in this situation. I used to write for a magazine. I was severely underpaid for the work I was doing and the knowledge I was bringing to the role. However, the editor was a racist, sexist, homophobic arse. Every article was an argument.
I stayed in the job because I told myself that when I DID win those arguments, I could bring more diversity to the audience. That the audience would benefit from learning more about some of these incredible women. And I think, on some level, that was true.
However, I also felt contaminated and a little ashamed to tell people I wrote for this magazine-- because so many people in my industry knew what he was like and what his attitudes were. I was barely paid anything for what would take over a month to research and write. But that wasn't the biggest problem. Eventually, I just felt like I was slowly being poisoned by staying. It felt like a fungus growing over my skin. I'd feel sick all the time when it was time to start researching and negotiating on what I was going to do.
Did my taking a stand and leaving make a difference to anyone except me? Nope.
Was I replaced without even a single thought? Yes.
Did I finally feel like I was no longer being contaminated by this man and his 19th century ideals? Yes.
It was very heavy weight on me that was keeping me on the bottom of the ocean. I cut the rope, and could finally swim to the surface. Did I save the world? No.
Did even one reader care that I left? Did the editor? No. Did the knot of poisonous anxiety finally leave my chest and stomach? Yes.
In a similar situation to Ann Telnaes, Prof Dorothy Bishop resigned from the very prestigious Royal Society because they've taken Elon Musk on as a fellow. She got nothing out of quitting. But she took her stand where she believed she had to, and I respect the hell out of here for walking away. (Please read the link on her name for her blog entry.)
I cannot speak for Ann Telnaes, or for Professor Bishop, but I suspect they both felt something similar.
1) for the person out there who is leaving the job, they're showing themselves as a person of integrity, and I have to hope that someone else with integrity will see that and approach them for a better job.
2) even if that does not happen, I genuinely respect anyone who is willing to burn their bridge and take a stand against something they know is wrong-- even if it gets them nothing. Integrity is not about what someone wins. 9/10, when people do something like this, they are doing it for themselves. And I respect that.
3) i can't speak for you, but when things are a complete hell hole, like right now, and all we see is corruption rewarded, and seeing domino after domino fall? Watching even one person --knowing it will fuck then over, knowing it could destroy their career-- stand up and say 'no?' I think that is important to see.
Yes. Grand scheme of things? Ann Telnaes walking out will do nothing to WaPo. They may lose a few subscriptions, but the world is not going to change much. Professor Bishop will be replaced, and life will go on. I don't think either of them are under any delusion that quitting will stop the corruption going on in the world. I certainly was not when I left the magazine I wrote for.
But if Ann can now sleep at night knowing she's done the right thing? If Dorothy can breathe because she feels she has done the right thing?
That matters.
To me, seeing the world burn-- and even one person who says 'I will not light this match' and walking away? That matters. If for nothing else but to believe that there is at least a few people in the world who will take a stand. Even when they know it won't change anything.
You are right. Ann will be easily replaced, just as i was. Dorothy has probably already been replaced. The world will move on, no one will remember or care next week. But Ann and Dorothy will probably sleep better at night, and so will I.
Maybe someone else will see this, and do the same. Maybe not.
Sometimes you don't save the world. You just save yourself. And sometimes that is enough.
Article from Washington Post cartoonist Ann Telnaes who has quit WaPo. Worth a read.
#ann telnaes#washington post#wapo#Sometimes you don't save the world.#sometimes you just save yourself#And that is okay#Prof Dorothy Bishop
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
dom, sub, top bottom, maso-sadist ... can you even know if you are any of these if you don't want sex??? can you know if you never interact with anyone ever? 🤔🤔🤔🤔
#so di non sapere#almeno quello lo so XD#this year in queer pride month i'm honouring the questioning side of things XD#moss text#non so manco che cazzo vuol dire niente#ma ok#i'm just having a word meaning crisis#sì ma niente di serio#anyway#this is not related to what happened today#I've been asking myself stuff for years XD#yes people tell me things but i can't believe what they say#sorry#my toxic trait is endless doubt about the definition of everything#emotions are not the same#also apparently i don't even know what the fuck a basic emoption is so#time to study what the fuck i am actually experiencing
0 notes
Text
8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)
#i guess it affected me more than i'd like to#i don't want to make people uncomfortable#and i am sorry if i did that with any of my posts i know they have been overly emotional and maybe a bit insane#it's true that i am trying to deal with losing and finding peace i am not very good at this due to my intense emotions#and my fear of loneliness and losing people. i am also in a very bad depressive episode. i am aware that this isn't an excuse for any#of my behavior. i never had a support system so dealing with all this on my own and getting no therapist who is willing to see you#it's a downer. guilt is eating me alive and my mental condition is the something that has ruined a lot for me but it has never before done#such a terrible job before. recovering from that and dealing with the aftermath of this is exhausting and has taken a toll on my physical#and mental health i know this post doesn't mean anything to most of all and is at best confusing but i guess it's my poor attempt#of avoiding that people will hate me. i don't want to self-pity more than i already did. but i do that all on my own already.#i know that life is so much more difficult than fiction and you can't expect miracles or believe in faith to fix anything#i know there is no cure to who i am. i can only try to navigate it better in the future. it doesn't mean that i can't regret what i did.#that i can't feel guilty about it. i know that won't change anything but i am also trying to get better and i understand if that's not#visible. i just have to believe that one day it will be enough for people to say 'hey. i know you are fucked up.#and you hurt me and you've been a bitch. but we'll work on it. i believe in you.' otherwise i have to believe that this loneliness#is all there is and that i'm gonna die hollow#i don't want much. i just want some patience and peace#i want to believe that i am worthy of love and that i can get a future. and yes. me talking about wanting a wife and this stupid apple pie#life... maybe it's cliche and stupid but i have been alone for years and i am so tired of fighting. is it so bad that i don't want to do#this alone? and that goes for friends as well. i want to cook for people built things and tend to a garden to take care of animals#and to create instead of destroying for once.#i don't know why i am still writing i guess when the dam breaks... again. i am sorry for ever making people uncomfortable or even hurting#them that was never my intention. i promise#so i really hope. whoever is reading this. i hope you are doing alright. i hope you had/have a good day. tell the people you care about#you love them and enjoy the little things. read that book. eat that chocolate or do whatever brings you joy. the world is so difficult to#navigate but you are doing such a great job by just existing. you are making this world a better place with the light you radiate#the last thing I want to do something I never can forgive myself for is hurting people#not only but especially the ones I care about. but beyond that those I barely know too because I care about you guys too#I just don't want that... I want to leave the world better than I found it but I'm having a hard time doing it due to this stupid fucking#brain of mine.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
everyone jumping to team kamala we will never experience true freedom in this country
#the democrats would vote for fucking hitler if he was a nice guy im convinced#allow me to break down this silly little “you can't focus on morals people's lives are at risk we have to vote blue to stop trump!!!” thing#first of all people's livelihoods are still at risk even when there is a democrat as president#did you forget about the immigration bill biden and harris signed? or you know a fucking genocide#and if people's livelihoods are at risk then shouldnt we vote with out morals? and you know not for the dems who are famously pro genocide#what is the point of voting if you can't vote for who you actually believe in?#and besides this what in this country was actually accomplished through voting? 99% of the progress made was done through violent resistanc#the only reason shit even made the ballot was because people showed they wouldn't accept things the way they are#which is exactly what you are doing if you vote for kamala harris AKA BIDEN'S FUCKING RIGHT HAND MAN#and you just sound like an extremely selfish person if genocide is not your red line#it just sounds like youre saying “yes they murdered palestinians in gaza :( BUT WHAT ABOUT US AMERICANS!!!!”#as if the democratic party has done anything to protect americans anyways. like my job as a voter is not to get the democrats elected#to mitigate damage caused by republicans. that is the fucking democrats job. it is their job to make me want to vote for them#and until they stop massacring men women and children in gaza they will never get my vote#the democrats could openly announce themselves as extreme bigots towards anyone that isn't a cishet rich white man (which they have before)#and you stupid asses will still tell us to vote for them. how evil do they have to be for you to finally consider another option?#and everyone else in the world gets to have other options but america noooo in america we can only have two parties or else you die#and when a democrat is elected and they send another 1 billion to israel i hope youre prepared to live with the blood on your hands#YOU WANTED THIS YOU ENABLED THIS YOU VOTED FOR THIS#the reality you won't face is that there are more options and you could vote for them but none of you are willing to take that risk#yet youre willing to risk the lives of palestinians the lives of transwoman the lives of every person that bitch threw into prison#you people are so hooked on stopping trump (the democrats meaner twin) youre willing to sacrifice everything you stand for#to elect someone who is just as bad as him but is “polite” while they do it. the democrats will never feel pressure to shift to the left#as long as you idiots continue to accept their move to the right. why should they stop the genocide in palestine when youve proven#you'd vote for them no matter what?#no one’s life improved from trump to biden and the same will be true for kamala but you can keep telling yourself they aren’t the same#i’ll be voting green bc that is what i believe in inshallah you grow a spine and do the same until we’re free from these two satanic partie#and dont tell us youll protest after she's elected what would the point be???#youve shown you'd put her in power no matter why should she respond to the pressure?
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Heylo my maggotsies... I'm sorry to do this but I have a thing that I really, really need to do (thank you Ash for helping me realise that) but I'm terrified to. so well. I'm going to make one of the posts (Neil reblogged me a couple of days ago so I feel pretty safe making one now since he only lurks by once in two weeks so this is as good a time as it gets to make a post and not expect many notes, yes I'm an overthinker and I'm actually scared of this getting notes).
Sigh. Here goes.
...I'm scared of even typing it.
Nope okay I can do this let's go.
If this post gets 1k notes, I'll look up jobs in design and film making that don't need a college degree.
2k notes, I'll sign up for an Alliance Francaise course so I can have another language on my CV, and I'll find a course that teaches me how to use design software.
5k, I'll look up distance learning alternatives, because just talking about physical college yesterday made me spend the whole morning and afternoon today in and out of nightmares screaming. Fuck.
10k, I'll tell my mum that I can't do the offline college. She's been talking to me about it, but I've been dodging because I'm not well-off and I really need to be earning and idk how to do that without college and I feel so guilty.
15k, I'll officially back out from the college (does that count as dropping out, if it hasn't begun? maybe half. i am a college and a half dropout, my 11th grade self would hate me and my 10th grade self would refuse to believe it).
I don't know what I'll do then. I don't know how to live as trans here in India, I don't know how to earn enough to be able to help my family, I don't know what I'm good at and I'm so fucking terrified. But. I spoke to @random-doctor-on-the-internet last night (I love you Ash you're such a fucking amazing human) and they made me realise that well maybe landing in a hospital with steroids to relieve an allergy attack because of exam stress isn't normal and so.
Well. Here I am. I know I can't do it, but I'm scared to risk everything, it's just not something people do here, dropping out. But also (TW s**cide statistics mentioned below the cut)... And so I've just. Got to do it, got to save myself and say no to college (cue say no to school, kids joke). Somehow be brave enough. And yeah.
To quote a financial express article: "In an alarming situation, a total of 7,62,648 suicides were reported in India between 2018 to 2022, Of this student suicides account for 7.6% at 59,239". Maybe if more people did say fuck you to the system here, that wouldn't be the case. That number could have been 59,240 (aside from everyone who wasn't counted and hushed up), that could have been me, and I don't want to put myself in that situation again. You know? Yeah.
9K notes
·
View notes
Text
I wanna talk about The Angel Who Would Be Crowley.
Because I had a certain set of expectations, which got thoroughly trashed in the first five minutes of S2, and my genuine response is, "Oh, fuck, yup. You're right. That's WAY better."
Looking around at GO fandom, I'm not alone in this. So let's talk about it.
Basically, a lot of people (myself included) believed that he was a high-ranking angel, and therefore as chilly and remote as every other powerful angel we'd seen at that point. We pictured Crowley-To-Be as long-haired, regal and imposing --and the fanart at the time reflected this. I'd link some if Tumblr didn't hate links.
Something like this:
We were collectively drawing on a few things --mostly, Crawly's appearance and general bearing in the Biblical scenes of S1--
--But also scattered hints of his importance, backed up by conspicuous absences in Heaven and a few profound displays of power. That's all better covered elsewhere, so I won't reiterate the arguments here. All I'm saying is: I think our headcanons were justified.
But it turns out he was this:
!!!
With his curly little--!!
And his neat white--!!
IT TURNS OUT, he was an angel who squeaked and squealed when he was happy; who flailed his arms around and made explosion noises with his mouth to explain nebulas; who preened when told his stars were pretty. Furfur, who knew him before the Fall, says:
"You used to jump on me back, little monkey in a waistcoat..."
(The use of a diminutive there, 'little'...oh, that fascinates me.)
In a pretty huge subversion of expectations, we're given these glimpses of an angel who was sweet, and joyful, and heart-meltingly silly.
In sum...an innocent.
(Perhaps innocent to a troubling degree.
We see how he troubles Aziraphale, during their first conversation. He starts looking around and behind them, checking to make sure that no one can HEAR the blithe and reckless things coming out of this angel's mouth. This angel who talks like he's never been reprimanded in his life; like it's never occurred to him that anyone would want to hurt him.
Before the Beginning, Aziraphale understood Heaven better than he did. The danger is plainly occurring to Aziraphale.)
So now, we the viewers are in on a cruel joke that Aziraphale has known all along, which is that this --THIS-- is the angel who--
*checks notes*
--did a million lightyear freestyle dive into a boiling pool of sulphur. For asking questions.
...Imagine you are Aziraphale, and everything inside you wants to believe Heaven are the Good Guys, and God is Good and Everything She does is capital-R Right...and now try to reconcile that. Keep trying. I don't think he ever totally managed it in 6000 years.
All this gets further complicated when we learn that, despite all of the above, we were still right. That sweet excitable babby up there?
He WAS a powerful and high-ranking angel.
That much is explicitly confirmed, with significant evidence that he could have been among the mightiest of archangels...
...Who apparently accosted his fellow angels for piggyback rides. And was remembered millennia later by those (now fallen) angels as something 'little.'
What does that tell us about who he was? Is?
Hell, Aziraphale has known to be wary of the archangels (and the judgements of Heaven in general) since before the Fall even happened. He chooses to believe they are Good; he can't fool himself into thinking they are Safe.
Yet he's absolutely certain that Crowley won't hurt Job's children. Enough to stand in a burning building and say to them, "I can't save you, but don't be afraid. I won't need to."
And what reason does he give?
("I know you."
"You do not know me."
"I know the angel you were.")
What does that tell us about who he was? Is?
("The angel you knew is not me."
But how is Aziraphale supposed to believe that, when he can see him all the time?)
tl;dr --yes, this is better. I love the tragedy of it.
'Innocence died screaming' and all that.
13K notes
·
View notes
Text
park avenue polyanna (social media au) - mv1
masterlist ||
Summary: The one where everyone is confused how Max, the resident villain of f1, has such a wholesome girlfriend.
Pairing: max verstappen x gallerist!reader (model used: random people i've found on the internet)
Warnings: none other than some cursing
Author note: okaaaaay, this is kinda all over the place but to be completely fair, i started it like a month ago and i finished it right after the singapore gp, so it has been a while, lol. miss charlotte york is here (my personal fav alongside samantha), so i hope you guys enjoy this one as wel!! we have one more to go, and boy is that one going to be fun to work on!
Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.
yourusername just posted a story!
yourusername
Liked by maxverstappen1, yourbestfriendsinstagram, f1wagss and 34,826 others.
yourusername: would %100 recommend pilates if you want to make a grown f1 driver cry because he can't handle the stretching!
user: please tell me there is video evidence of max doing reformer
yourusername: i can neither confirm nor deny these allegations against my beloved boyfriend
yourusername: but if i had to, the answer would be yes, yes i do
user: I LOVE YOU YOU ARE A NATIONAL TREASURE
user: she is probably the nicest people on earth and i can't, for the life of me understand how she and max are in a relationship
user: maybe we should stop assuming people's personalities and also speculate about their relationships bestie
yourusername: period!
user: thank you for giving us the best content on this app, queen
user: i will pay thousands and millions to see max verstappen do pilates
user: everybody say thank you yn for the best piece of information ever
view all 2,647 comments.
user: i just know some of the drivers on the grid are going to have so much fun with this brand new piece of information
maxverstappen1: not so simply lovely🙄
yourusername: but you were sooo cute
yourusername just posted a story!
yourusername
Liked by maxverstappen1, elleusa, f1gossipworld and 39,267 others.
yourusername: mandatory busy week recap
user: nothing to see here just subtly flexing her chanel kelly on us (i love you queen you're so iconic)
user: omg she works??
user: stop this right now you're embarrassing yourself
yourusername: i wish i didn't need to work but gotta feed the kids, you know? (max, the cats and my dog)
user: she might be the busiest girl in the world, but one thing about yn is that she is NEVER missing that pilates class
maxverstappen1: come back hoooooome
yourusername: soooooon
view all 3,456 comments.
user: i can feel it, she's going to be in singapore
user: manifesting this for the looks
yourusername
Liked by f1wagsupdates, maxverstappen1, yourbestie and 43,2647 others.
yourusername: lesson from this weekend: kill them with kindness, or in our case, with a no comment interview!
user: the look on max's face is so telling of the situation
yourusername: nothing a bunch of cuddles can't fix!!
user: this relationship is the proof that opposites, in fact, attract
user: i can't believe we got a max mention before gta 6
user: oh to be wearing vintage chanel and dating max verstappen
user: she is who i wanna be when i grow up (i'm 23)
view all 5,253 comments.
maxverstappen1: no comment
yourusername: not disappointed and not surprised
maxverstappen1
Liked by yourusername, redbullracing, landonorris and 601,3674 others.
maxverstappen1: i don't know what you are talking about i'm always nice
user: the duality of men
user: mad max to gentleman pipeline is actually insane
yourusername: can confirm that you are VERY nice
maxverstappen1: simply lovely
user: okay but are we winning the championship oooor??
view all 10,273 comments.
user: MAX VERSTAPPEN IN A SUIT, I REPEAT, MAX VERSTAPPEN IN A SUIT
user: this relationship confuses me a lot but i also love it so much
user: it's giving grumpy x sunshine to the extreme extents and i love it
#monzabee#formula 1 x reader#social media au#f1 social media au#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction#f1 x reader#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#formula one x reader#max verstappen social media au
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
I have been debating sharing this for some time, but with the new year weight loss ads amping up, I feel it's something I have to say. I'm worried for people's health.
Unless you've been living under a rock, you probably already know about people taking the diabetic drug ozempic for weight loss. You've probably heard the debates about the ethics of taking needed drugs away from diabetes patients and maybe even the side effect of "ozempic face." However, there is one side effect of taking these drugs that, in my opinion, people are not being warned about.
If you carefully pay attention to the television ads, you will hear them mention "pancreatitis" as a possible side effect. If you're like me a decade ago, that word probably means nothing to you. Let me warn you, however, it is no minor thing. My husband suffered from chronic pancreatitis for five agonizing years. The pain is beyond comprehension. Doctors who specialize in the pancreas describe it as the worst pain a human can endure. There is no actual cure. Little is understood about the disease, so treatment is difficult. Doctors who understand it are few and far between. It took my husband forever to get diagnosed. He went through multiple surgeries and procedures, but nothing worked. He had to go on an extremely limiting diet. If he varied from it in any way, he would have an attack. The only way to recover from an attack was to not eat at all for days, then slowly add in broth and jello. Did he lose weight? Yes. As a matter of fact, one day he stepped out of the shower, and I burst into tears at the sight of him. He was skin and bones - I could count every rib. Was it worth it to be thin? If you even ask that question, I'm concerned for your mental health.
They couldn't figure out exactly why my husband got pancreatitis. At that time, they thought only alcoholics and drug addicts got pancreatitis. This made it difficult to get compassionate medical care, unfortunately. Now they know that prescription medication (particularly diabetic medication) and high cholesterol can also cause it. Then there is another group - where they just don't know. But you better believe I would hesitate to take any medication that could cause pancreatitis. I would weigh my options carefully to assess if it was worth the risk. In my opinion, weight loss is not worth that risk.
My concern has been heightened seeing the Hers commercials for these drugs (under different names, but rest assured, it is the same thing). These commercials brag that you can get these drugs from Hers with just a simple virtual call, no questions asked. I wonder if people are fully aware of the risks of these drugs. I also wonder if we even know all of the risks yet. I also fear that the culture around these drugs could develop into an us vs. them mentality. That if it's so easy to be thin, why wouldn't you be? And some are getting dangerously thin on these drugs.
I know some diabetics who are on these drugs, and necessarily so. They tell me that it causes nausea when they eat. That's why they don't eat much. Again, that doesn't sound like a pleasant way to live. If you need it to regulate your blood sugar, that's one thing. But if you don't? Why would you do this to yourself?
My husband is now healed of pancreatitis. It was a miracle. You may not believe in that sort of thing, but I'm telling you, there is no other explanation. We had exhausted every medical solution, then the pandemic hit. We were concerned because hospitals were only taking life or death cases. What if he had a bad attack and needed an iv of pain meds? What would we do? Weeks passed - no pain. A month passed - no pain. Six weeks passed - no pain. He decided to grill a steak - something he hadn't been able to even take a nibble of in 5 years. I watched him take a bite, holding my breath. Nothing. He ate the whole thing. No pain. Five years later, still no pain. The doctors can't explain it, either.
So our story has a happy ending. Not everyone else's does. I hope people take the time to read this. If you do, please, please share it. I don't want anyone suffering needlessly.
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
[THIS IS GONNA BE HARSH
No way you're not assuming things in your favor and expecting your desires please, make it make sense.
I'm going to speak for all bloggers because I know some of them are tired and scared to say it. But don't come to me asking how to manifest, for the love of fucking God, READ READ FUCKING READ.
No way we are going to 2025 and your ass still asking how to manifest this and that.
Assume and let it BE, that's it. What do you want me to tell you? Jump five times and roll or something? There's literally nothing else to do.
Not only that, but those anonymous asking if the Law of assumption is real? Like, until this day, bro, get a fucking grip. Jesus Christ.
You're going post by post trying to find something that will click for you and not even applying it. You're wasting your time. I'm not saying you can't read posts or whatever, but if you're not applying it, then you're wasting your time.
It's annoying, yes it is. When are you going to decide enough is enough? Because me and other bloggers can make posts every single day, but at the end of the day, it's you. It's literally you. It's your choice.
Enough is enough.
we are literally going to 2025, enough is enough. Stop with the bullshit. You know why you don't have your desires right now, you know it, and I don't have to tell you.
Someone can spread a rumor about somebody without proof, and you will believe it.
There have been many times in your life where you assume things without proof. Yes, there have, and you probably don't even remember, and it manifested itself in the 3D.
Why are you waiting for the blogger to come back? Are they your God? Stop the glaze, please. It's getting too far to the point where you see those bloggers bigger than you.
They manifested a big house, so can you?? They're not special, I promise you.
They manifested appearance change, so can you. They manifested being able to shift every time they want, so can you.
You can talk to those bloggers in real life, and you will realize they're just regular people. They're not that special, I'm not that special.
It's really not that serious.
Because of the likes they get on their posts, it makes you think that they're bigger. They're just numbers. Knock it out.
Now, let me get real with y'all. There's no such thing as unrealistic or big desires. You're the one labeling it as unrealistic or big desires.
Do you really think that the 3D says something like, "oh no, I can't reflect that, it's too unrealistic and big"?
Do you really think that the 3D looks at your desires and says that? Think about it for a sec. Now, YOU tell me, do you really think that the 3D thinks that?
Or is it just you labeling them as big and unrealistic? You see how you're always the one who assumes things???
I KNOW, SURPRISINGLY RIGHT? Well, it shouldn't be a surprise to you. You should already know that.
I don’t want ANY ANON coming in my asks asking me dumb ass fucking questions when you can just get your ass to read and try to actually understand
It’s actually really easy to understand if I’m being fr
There’s many bloggers who literally breaks it down in the most EASIEST WAY to understand
So stop with the excuses.
Stop trying to look for motivation especially shifters Omds
Im gonna write another post on this im not done yet call me mean wtv idc it had to be said loa bloggers ARE TIREDD
And I also think that’s why the loa community is kinda dying.
#law of assumption#manifesting#how to manifest#manifestation#affirm and persist#dream life#self concept#instant manifestation#desired reality#manifest#shifting community#loassumption#reality shifting#loa success#shifting blog#master manifestor#void state#shifting motivation#black shifters#loa
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
established!vi x reader
vi tells you caitlyn asked her to join the enforcers. it doesn't go well.
"She asked you to join the Enforcers," you say blankly, staring Vi dead in the eye before you burst out laughing. Vi watches as you do, her expression painfully contorted into something oddly unreadable.
You laugh and laugh, waiting for Vi to join in with you until you realise that she can't.
You stop laughing and go emotionally, so quick that it's terrifying. Vi doesn't blame you, though and tries not to hide from the emptiness of your stare.
"I..." Vi starts, trying to find the words. "I can see where she's coming from."
"Bullshit," you reply immediately, rage building but not quite ready to burst. "That's bullshit, Vi and you know it."
Vi nods for a moment but then shakes her head, conflicted.
"Pow—Jinx has done so much wrong," Vi says, pained. "And I just know that my little sister would never commit the heinous crimes she's done." She runs a hand through her hair, sinking further. "Fuck, she wouldn't...she'd never do all that shit and not feel a single ounce of remorse—"
"Vi," You interrupt sharply, and that stops Vi, your tone deadly. "I don't think you understand all that has happened. I can't even believe that you would consider joining them." Your voice is rising. "After everything they've done to us!"
"You think I want to join them!?" Vi fires back. "I think I would enjoy being on their side. You should know me better than that!"
"I thought I did!" You yell, your rage now a burning inferno. "Vi, this isn't the way to do things. Yes, what Powder has done is beyond merciless, but you need to stop and consider why!"
"So she can kill more people?" Vi says, and it's so blunt that it knocks you in the stomach. "You and I both know... that Powder, our Powder, is gone. And the sooner we accept that... the better it is for all of us."
There's a moment of silence, heavy around both of you, and it's just...it's too much.
You can't believe it.
That Vi would just do this.
"...Okay," you say lowly, and you turn around before walking away. You hear Vi call after you, her voice getting louder and louder the further you go.
You turn around, look into her desperate eyes before saying, "you've made your choice."
And then you're gone.
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
HIIII!!! I just wanted to say that i really love ur writing! I've read ur traitor series and I can't wait for part 4! I'm a new author, and english isn't my first language, so it's sometimes very hard for me to write bcs i'm stil not that good, but ur fics have helped me improve<3💗!
thank you so much!🫶 im glad you’ve enjoyed the series! and speaking of part four, here it is :)
ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE
simon didn’t turn to watch you leave the gym.
he stood there, eyes forward, mask clenched in one fist. he could feel the blood drying on his skin. he made no move to wipe it away.
he didn’t blame you for your anger— he couldn’t. he understood the rage. had felt it himself a time or two.
but he couldn’t take everything lying down.
did he deserve your wrath, your fury? yes— and he knew that. there was no making up for what he did; he realized that, but why couldn’t you understand?
he’d never fully taken his walls down around you, and that was no fault of your own. he was a guarded man, and his past gave him every right to be.
he had been burned and broken too many times. he’d seen the people he loved murdered because of him.
he swore he would never let that happen again. he put those walls up, and you knocked some of them down.
but there were some you’d never gotten through, at least, simon told himself you hadn’t. there was always something he was holding back, a piece of himself he wouldn’t give freely. he told himself it was because he couldn’t stand to love you so deeply and then watch you leave.
but really, it was because he needed an out. he needed a way to justify his leaving if something ever happened— and that’s what got him here.
simon trusted the 141 with his life. he trusted his captain with his life. price had never led him astray; john knew his face well before any of the others. well before you.
and when someone you trust so deeply, someone you’ve followed for years, tells you that the person you love has betrayed your team?
you can’t help but believe them. and that’s what simon did.
the evidence was coincidental at first. wrong place, wrong time. but then, everything started to seem like more than a coincidence. pieces of a complicated puzzle were fitting together. things only you and the rest of the 141 would know were leaked.
and all the signs pointed to you.
and although he didn’t want to, simon couldn’t help it. the second price had confided in him that you may be the rat, simon began to distance himself. you had been confused, but he had offered no explanation.
price was the one to question you first. it was a heated conversation in his office, consisting of him showing you the evidence and you becoming furious at the accusations.
johnny came to you next, buttering you up with his flirtatious and unarming words before asking if you’d leaked information.
then there was kyle, who pleaded for the truth. he told you that a case was being built against you, and that if you came clean now, things wouldn’t be so bad.
simon never tried to talk to you about it. the other men would tell him what you’d said, but he had never gone to talk to you himself.
maybe it was pride. simon wasn’t trusting, not after his past. he had let the 141 in, had let you in. and now you were a suspected traitor, and he was angry at himself. angry he hadn’t seen it sooner; angry he’d let you in at all.
but maybe it was hurt. hurt that you’d done this to him, to the team, after knowing everything they’d been through. after stitching up wounds on the battlefield and taking bullets for one another. after sharing simon’s bed and whispering you loved him.
all he knew was that he trusted price. and as evidence built, so did the distance between the two of you, until you were tied to that chair.
and simon had taken his hurt, his anger, out on you. he wasn’t proud of it, and he knew now that he was wrong. but he was still a little angry. angry because you couldn’t see his side of things— not like he could see yours.
so, he was an ass. he didn’t apologize. he snuck flowers to your bedside but kept his distance. he told you to watch your tone because you were still part of the team, and speaking to price like that was only something an outsider would do.
and he told you that he’d spared your life because he had. anger had consumed him, and truthfully, you were lucky he hadn’t done worse.
even if he’d smothered his feelings for you with rage, he still harbored love for you, and that’s why some part of him held back.
he knew you would probably never forgive him. he had made his peace with that.
but he couldn’t stand the fact that you couldn’t understand why he’d done what he did.
the creak of the gym door opening broke simon from his thoughts. he pulled his mask back on before turning around and making his way to the door.
it took one firm knock on the door for price to answer.
the door clicked open, and price sighed when he saw simon, scrubbing a hand over his unruly beard before letting the taller man in. price turned, walking back to his desk chair, while simon closed the door behind him and locked it.
“this is a bloody mess,” the captain said, falling heavily into the chair. it squeaked at the sudden weight, old leather crinkling and crackling.
“doc came and saw me earlier, ‘fore she left for the night. told me about some new injuries, and yelled at me for letting that happen.”
simon didn’t speak. price’s eyes met his, and he sighed again.
“fuckin’ hell, simon. what the fuck did you say? doc said she had to stitch up both their hands.”
“doesn’t matter what I say,” simon spoke, eyes still on the captain “they won’t fuckin’ listen.”
price shook his head. “that’s not true, ‘nd we both know it,” he sounded tired as he spoke, dark bags under his eyes. he paused for a moment, then spoke again.
“spoke to laswell after you left earlier. she said she’ll try to speed up the transfer process. tryin’ to avoid more fuss, and im not fightin’ it any longer.”
“they’re part of our team,” simon spoke, tone rough.
price shook his head. “they are, but I can’t keep doin’ this. can’t keep pushin’ off transferin’ because of you lot. it may be better for us, but not for them.”
the room fell quiet. simon inhaled, exhaled. his fists clenched at his sides before quickly unfurling once more.
he didn’t have a right to be mad at you for leaving, but he was.
“laswell say anythin’ else about tha’ transfer?” simon asked.
price leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest. “not much. no word on where or with who, but even if she knew, doubt she’d tell us. for their sake.”
simon gave a small nod and made to turn, but froze as price spoke again.
“she did say she didn’t know if it would go through. they’d have to pass another eval.”
they both knew what that meant. if laswell said that, then she didn’t believe the transfer would happen. kate wouldn’t outwardly say it, but price had known what she’d meant.
pushing the transfer through wouldn’t matter if you couldn’t pass a physical and psychological evaluation— and laswell didn’t think you could.
although he wouldn’t admit it, price was unsure, too. torture was something that took an incredibly devastating toll on the mind and body.
but torture at the hands of your team? there was no telling the damage that that would do to someone. to you.
an honorable discharge was more likely. and, if that was the case, then your rage would likely grow tenfold.
you career, your livelihood, taken from you by the hands of the men you trusted the most. your family, cutting you up and pushing you out.
damned by your team and your country, regardless of everything you’d done for both of them during your service.
you were just another cog in the machine, one that had been damaged and discarded, and a discharge couldn’t make that any clearer.
he thought back to what you had said in the gym earlier, before you’d left.
‘you should have killed me.’
maybe he should have.
thanks to everyone for your patience! also just incase you didn’t see my post about it—
im no longer doing a taglist! my side blog @troiastitans will reblog my works from now on, so if you want to know when I post, follow that account and allow notifications!
as always, thank you for the love! (also I hope you all enjoyed a little peek into simon’s head!)
#cod mw2 fic#captain john price#gaz call of duty#soap call of duty#ghost call of duty#captain price#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#johnny mactavish#john soap mactavish#johnny soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick#John price#simon riley x gn reader#simon riley angst#ghost x gn reader#ghost x you#ghost angst#ghost x reader#ghost cod#141!reader#141 x reader#task force 141
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
LOA cannot be fake nor can you fail at it.
Yes, you read the title right.
Welcome to another LOA lesson coming from yours truly. I will be discussing today why The Law of Assumption can't be fake nor can you fail at it.
I recently got an ask, which I'm sure some of you read, where they said "the law of assumption doesn't work" and that it wasn't real and blah blah blah (no hate to the person who sent the ask in the first place btw). Babes, I'm going to hold your hand when I tell you this. You've been doing it your whole life. Yes, the one thing you lot find really hard for whatever reason, is something you've been doing forever and ever. It is how the very world around you, even exists in the first place.
The Law of Assumption is a LAW where everything you assume to be true, is true. Think back on things that have happened where you've been so certain this one thing is going to happen and then it did. That is an example of LOA. What are you reading this post on? Boom, an assumption. You believe you're reading this on your device, so that's how it's being shown. Still don't understand?
When you walk into your room, do you expect there to be nothing? Just an endless void? No. You expect there to be your room because you assume that, that is your room. Every single thing in your life is an assumption, you just weren't aware of it until now.
So why are you complicating it? You're just aware of your power now, so use it!! Stop procrastinating, stop begging other people to help you, simply just GET IT. You already have it!!
LOA cannot fail you, because it always has to show you what you focus on. If you want logic, it's because of something called the Reticular Activating System. It's in your brain, where whatever you tell yourself, you HAVE to see it. When you say to yourself, "Let me see if I can find anything pink in my room" your mind immediately looks at pink things in your room making you aware of it. That is RAS.
The point is, the more you consistently tell yourself something, the more you FOCUS on something, the more you're going to see it. How does this relate with LOA? Well, you're thinking in your favour, in your mind, you are thinking as if you have your desire. Therefore, your mind HAS to show you. That's it! It's THAT simple. You focus on the fact you already have it and boom, you'll have it.
#loablr#law of assumption#loassumption#manifestation#loa blog#loa tumblr#manifesting#shifting realities#the void state#shifting#loa advice#loa#loassblog#loass#neville goddard#shifting community#shifting blog#reality shifting#shifting motivation#desired reality#shifters#master manifestor#affirmations#self concept#law of attraction#how to manifest#manifest#dream life#void state#void
917 notes
·
View notes