#yes not her real name in this au but people call her like that soo

[rongrii]

I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM SKSHDJSKSOSOSSKSK

Yes sometimes i go willry sometimes i go…uh..springlora? Idk how it is called..And whatca gonna do about it? >>:))

Tried to make it wholesome because angst is for next time, k?

I like my Ballora design, and i think she turned out well. Even read some facts about her in wiki, it was interesting actually

[healpeony]

Love Story

Levi Ackerman x reader

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲; Levi's and Y/n love isn't accepted by many specially Y/n's parents, an Eldian and a Marleyan? a great represention of Persephone's and Hades love.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; profanity, angst, scene of smut (not explicitly described), violence, blood, being called whore (by her mother), homophobia (also used by her mother), spoilers.

Taglist; @icedkoffees

Note; she/her pronouns used for the reader as well as female anatomy. Also I'm using what Isayama said about how Levi would act shy around his crush and him being uncomfortable with sexual intercourse. And I also want to add that I don't know much about what happens when the Marleyans invaded Paradise, and I also added my own thing to help with my plot so this could be call a cannonverse!au.

PERSEPHONE a young women who's innocence was taken from her the moment she was kidnapped by her uncle, who fell in love with her. Despite her mother's (Demeter) attempts to fully get her back right away from the hands of her brother, it was too late that wasn't going to happened not after Hades persuaded Persephone to eat four seeds of pomegranate, which forced someone to have a connection with their captor, making them come back to them.

Each spring time Persephone would be living with her mother on earth, while in winter she was with Hades in the underworld.

Levi was the Persephone to Y/n's Hades, she being the one who used him and their love for each other was the pomegranate making Levi come back to her.

It's ironic how their love story started with y/n getting taken away from Marley, a place she called home.

Even though she wasn't necessarily kidnaped, she was sent away to accomplish a mission in a place called Paradise, she found it ridiculous how it was named that way when that land was full of devils.

Y/n was shipped to Paradise along with the warriors. She was going to infiltrate into the Survey Corps where she would hopefully sabotage every expedition without getting caught.

Her mission was to make sure none of the warriors get too cozy in the foreign place, and to focus on their mission, but it was impossible to do so when all the people who were described as devils, were actually just like them. Humans.

She was older than those kids being 22 when they were still 15, y/n loved them, they were like little siblings to her and it hurt when they lost Marcel, the jaw.

"Oi brat! Stay focused" the voice of her captain took her out of her train of thoughts

Captain Levi, he was called humanity strongest and was also what everyone called their only hope. At first Y/n didn't understood why he needed such a big tittle, but after being in his squad and witnessing him showing his skills and his hatred towards titans, she got why.

"I'm sorry captain" she saluted, which was dismissed by him

"You called what you did back in the kitchen, cleaning?" he asked pointing towards the place he just mentioned "There is dust everywhere, go and clean everything again, I don't want to see any dust in there again. That's where our food is made, you idiot"

Without another word he left, and when she felt like he was out of earshot, she kicked a chair, breaking it. He might be Humanities strongest, but he was soo irritating, so obsessed with cleaning. That's what they always did for the most part of their time.

"there is dust everywhere my ass" she mocked Levi's voice while looking around the kitchen she just finished cleaning minutes ago

She had made sure everything was left without a spot of dust, how in the world did Levi saw dust anywhere.

After she had cleaned the kitchen area, Levi had send her to clean the stables which took a lot of time since he told her to clean alone. It was already sun down when she had finished.

She was exhausted, her clothes were pooled with sweat and glued to her skin making her uncomfortable, she really needed a shower.

"Go take a shower" the sudden voice of the raven man scare the hell out of her

"Fuck Captain!" y/n yelled, putting a hand on her chest as if that would calm her speeding heart beat

"Go now, and then come to eat dinner with us" he continued, the blank stare he gave her when they made eye contact given her chills

"Yes, sir" she saluted, before leaving

The mess hall was well a mess, the cadets eat like animals. The same soup and bread they always eat, Y/n found it extremely annoying how the Military Police get all the meat when the Survey Corps were the ones doing the only brave work inside the walls.

"Y/n if you're not going to eat your soup can I have it?" Sasha asked

Oh, how much she wanted to say no, but she had a reputation to hold and she didn't want the soup anyway.

Y/n faked a smile, (one that everyone thought that was genuine) before saying "of course, Sasha" passing the bowl full of hot soup to the girl

"Thanks!"

Y/n felt how eyes were burning through her skull and turned her head to look down the table, just to see Captain Levi staring at her with a suspicious look in his eyes.

Oh shit, if he in some way found out about who she really was, she was fucked. The young women tried her best to stay seated, but her nerves didn't let her making her stand up.

"I'm exhausted, I think I'm going to sleep"

It wasn't a lie she was tired from all the cleaning, but she didn't want to sleep, she just needed to desperately get out of there.

When she was finally outside, y/n leaned against the wall, sliding down while taking a deep breath.

"You know, it isn't good to fake smile to your friends"

Y/n immediately turn around at the sudden voice of her captain, he did it again, he scared the living shit out of her.

"Captain!, Stop doing that!" her face felt warmer than usual for some reason

Was she blushing?

"Why did you do it? Are you sad?" Levi asked putting down a handkerchief on the ground before sitting next to her, looking over at her examinating her face

"Oh it's just stress" Y/n replied, praying that he would just believe her

"I see.." he turned towards the sky where the moon shined brightly along with the stars

What Y/n thought that would be a awkward silence, turned into a comfortable one. They just stared at the sky above them, it remind Y/n that she had a family waiting for her outside the walls and she was not going to disappoint them by getting comfy with the captain, even though she didn't know what his intentions were.

"I'm going to take a nap" she stood up, and called over her shoulder "Have a good night, captain" before proceeding to walk towards her room

"Good night, cadet..."

Y/n didn't know when it happened, was it when they continued sitting together and looking at the sky in complete silence, or was it when in some of those same nights they spoke more and more about each other's personal life (in none of those conversations she mentioned Marley, but still talked about her family). She didn't remember how her feelings for him changed, but they did.

Right now she was there, in the same spot on the wall with Levi next to her. They were even in first name basics with each other.

The raven man cleared his throat catching her attention, turning her head to the side to look at him she noticed how he was blushing.

"I.. I think is pretty obvious what I feel for— about you by now"

A surprised noice escaped Y/n mouth, she expected to have that talk with him some day, but not today or Levi being so straight forward with the subject.

The women could only nod, her brain still processing what he just said.

"I was wondering, if you felt the same.." his voice dropped to a whisper, while he looked down

"No" she shaked her head, making Levi looked up at her eyes widened with embarrassment at the rejection "Look, Levi.. it's just that I have done terrible things that you're not aware of. You don't want to be with me"

"Then tell me what terrible things you have done and let me be with you after your done" Levi said

"No, Levi you don't understand" tears pooled in her eyes, y/n didn't even remember the last time she had cry "I can't be with you"

"Why? Is it because of the terrible things you have done? Well guess what everybody has their own flaws, everybody in this world is an angel, at least until they get tired of the cruelty in it and let the demons take over" Levi grabbed her face between his hands, wiping the falling tears from her face "I want to be with you, wether you have let your demons take over or not"

Y/n felt the man lean in to place his lips to hers, they stayed pressed together without movement, before Levi pull away and kissed her again this time letting his emotions be known through the kiss.

Passion. Love. Care.

This is a moment in her life she would never forget not even when hers and the warriors mission is over.

Retaking of wall Maria

"I let you. I fucking let you in!"

Levi stood infront of her heartbroken, she told him, now he knew everything..

"Levi-" however she wasn't able to continue speaking since she received a kick right in the face making her fall on her side

She looked at Levi surprised, he had kicked her. Y/n knew she deserved, but it still hurt to have someone you loved hit you.

"You lied about everything didn't you? For what, to get information?" his voice was cracking slightly with each word he said "Was it necessary to use me for your stupid plans?"

"I didn't use you!, What I felt for you was real" y/n said defending her feelings

"I don't even know what is real about you anymore, is Y/n actually your name? Or is it just another lie?"

"It is my name.." she weakly murmured tasting blood in her tongue, she figured that her lip might have been split open from the impact

"Oh good to know"

Sarcasm tried to cover his hurt voice, which actually didn't work, since Y/n could clearly hear his shaky breath and it made her feel soo guilty.

"I hate you"

Those three little words were enough to make her world come crashing down, he hated her. Of course he did, it hurt so much but she had seen this coming, and she still didn't felt ready for it.

"I'm sorry, Levi"

That was all she said to him, before she was grabbed by a titan being controlled by Zeke, taking her away from the place where she meet someone who meant so much to her.

One thing that she was sure of was that

She will never forget Levi Ackerman.

Screams, that was what was heard everywhere. Kids either with their parents or alone were running desperately trying to find shelter, and that broke Y/n's heart.

She was tired of all the fighting, she was tired of pretending to be stronger than she felt. For once she just wanted peace and happiness, something that she didn't quite have the past four years.

How did they got here? That was one of the many questions going through her head, but one that she paid more attention to was the most important

Was he here too?

"There you are, piece of shit."

That voice, it was him. It might have changed, but she could recognize it everywhere, the same voice who used to startle her everytime they saw each other, the voice that bought her comfort, the voice of the man she fell in love with.

It was Levi.

Slowly she proceeded to turn around, the fear for what might happen next running through her veins. She was ready to be killed by him.

Finally she look up and saw the same man she fell in love with, the only change that she saw was the uniform, apart from that he still seem like he had the same height as before and from the look on his face he still had the same temper.

"Nice uniform, I like it" she told him quietly not knowing what to say

Levi scoffed at her statement, taking his blade out. So he was going to kill her.

"You can go ahead and kill me, might as well add another ghost to haunt you"

Did she felt fear? Yes she did, but she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing it.

"Shut up" that was his response, before he connected his blade with her cheek leaving a long but not deep cut "You're going to come with me"

"I'm not going anywhere!"

The last thing he told her was that he hated her, why would he want her to come back to Paradise?, Was it to use her for information? Or because he missed her? It was stupid to think of the latter question, but she was still hopeful.

"I'm not asking, you brat"

That was the last thing she heard before he knocked her out.

"How could you be with a devil?!"

Her mom's scream hurt her eardrums, Zeke had told them about how she had been in a relationship with a so call devil. That seem like the only thing Zeke could do apart from throwing rocks, snitch.

"You were send there for a reason Y/n! No child of mine should've or should be with one of those devils!"

"Mother, I'm so sorry it's just that it would be easier for me to get the information about them that I wanted"

That was a lie. She loved Levi, even though she didn't get the chance to say it to him. She did, and that feeling wasn't going to go away anytime soon.

Her father stood next to her mother quietly looking at her with disgusts as if she was the trash people get rid of because of the smell, she hated that, it hurt to have your own parents hating on you.

"So what? For a piece of information, you had to go and whore yourself in there?"

Y/n gasped looking at her mom shocked "What? No mother, I didn't do anything like that with him!" she argue

That wasn't a lie, Levi was uncomfortable with sexual intercourse, since his own mother worked in a brothel and he had been the witness of how much that act hurt his mother, he had trusted her enough to tell her that.

"Good, you still have your purity." her mom nodded, before letting out a sigh "At least it wasn't with a women, you would've been completely kicked out of this house young lady"

"Now go take a shower, make sure to wash away every memory in that land while doing so." her mom smiled softly her hand reaching out to touch her cheek, before hugging her "My poor baby, having to live with those devils for so long. Don't worry you're home now, you're safe with us"

What once was her home didn't feel like home anymore, her house was just a place, her home was the person she left behind in Paradise.

Y/n didn't remember how many days have passed or what was going on outside of her cell. She didn't know in what prison she was in, but just a few days ago it had seem like there was a whole damn war going on outside.

She hasn't seen Levi since he put her into the cell, and she was scared that something might have happened to him. She heard the door of the corridor open, Y/n stood up walking towards the bars to see who it was, it was Hange.

"Y/n" Hange nodded at her as if they were saying hi "He said your name, so we think it would be good if you saw him"

"Who are you talking about?" Y/n asking looking at them confused

"Levi"

Her heart immediately speed up, something happened to him. Her anxiety grew each passing second as she took step by step through the halls, Hange having a hold of her arm to make sure she didn't try to run away.

"What happened to him?" Y/n questioned scared for what the answer might be

"Explosion" was all they said, before entering a room that seems to be Levi's, there was only a nurse sitting in a chair probably just there just in case Levi needed something

"Thanks, you can stand outside. We would call if we need you" Hange told the nurse who nodded and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her, but not before throwing Y/n a look of disapproval about her being there.

Y/n ran to Levi's side as soon as the nurse was out, he had bandages in one side of his face, and on his hands. Tears started sliding down the young women's cheek while Hange looked at her with pity, but also cautiously not wanting her to do anything that might hurt Levi.

"Levi.." she whispered, even though

y/n felt bad about disturbing him from his sleep knowing how difficult it was for him to do so, she wanted to hear his voice, reassuring her that he was going to be ok "Everything it's going to be fine, right Hange? Tell him"

“Yeah, I agree with you y/n”

She didn't knew who she was trying to convince herself or Levi, but that didn't matter, because she felt a squeeze in one hand and immediately look down to see that Levi was the one holding it. Y/n look back up to his face seeing how his eye was open and he was staring directly at her.

Y/n smiled "Hey darling, you're okay now" she let out those word between sobs "— I'm sorry for everything Levi, for not telling you where I was really from, for letting you fall in love with me when I knew how it was going to bed. I'm so sorry for every misery that I have put you through"

Levi squeezed her hand again "- 's ok, I f—orgive you" his words came out has a whisper and he struggled to speak but she heard him clearly

Hange watched the scene playing out infront of them, they could see how much those two loved each other. They were like a puzzle, that could figure each other out, knowing each piece of themselves like the back of their hands.

It has been a month and a half exactly since Y/n had seen Levi in the bed witnessing how helpless he looked, she had never seen him like that and wasn't planning to anytime soon, since then she hadn't left his side.

He was currently touching her bare back leaving kisses down her neck, their naked chest pressed together, hot and sweaty.

"Levi..." she moaned softly

This was their first time being intimate, and she didn't want him to feel pressured into anything.

"I know what you're going to say, and I want to how much as you" he said before continuing marking her, claiming her as his

Each move of his hips against hers, reminded her of who she was with. The gentleness in his touch making her forget about the world around them. The softness of his lips against hers taking her breath away.

It wasn't just the pleasure that made Levi take the decision of doing this with her, this was his own way of showing how far he would go just to be with her, to come out of his comfort zone just to shower her with intimate kisses and touches that he and neither would she forget.

“I love you Levi”

Her skin was the canvas, and his lips was the brush painting each part of her body.

“I love you too...”

“You will come back with us immediately young lady!" her mother said trying to remain calm infront of the devils

The rumbling was over, Eren Yeager was killed. Paradise and Marley were allies, but that doesn't mean they have forgiven each other for what each have done. Many Marleyans and Eldians from Marley came to visit out of curiosity, while people from Paradise went to explore the world (if we are talking about visiting the outside world and finding new things as much as possible), but they never want to visit Marley afraid that they might get turn into titans and angry for what those monsters have done to other people.

"I'am old enough to make my own decisions, mother" Y/n had answered, wanting to remain as calm as she could

"His manipulating you isn't he?"

"How dare you!—" Y/n yelled, before regaining her composure, her voice going back to calm but being loud and firm at the same time "I love him, he didn't manipulate me into anything. It's bold of you to assume that, mother"

"We're your family, your place it's with us!"

Some of the Military Police who were there scoffed along with some of the scouts, they have warmed up to Y/n already, but the Marleyans didn't seem to accept that one of themselves loved an Eldian, specially from Paradise.

"You're my family? Then where were you when I needed you the most?, All I needed when I returned to Marley four years ago was my mother!, The one who an illusion of my mind created, a sweet mom who would love me for being her child, and not see me as an object" Y/n couldn't remain calm anymore she needed to let everything out "— The time I spent with him, I got to truly know what comfort was, what being loved and being needed felt like! And you—" with tears in her eyes she turned to her father who was quiet, like he always was "You're so afraid of mom that you don't even dare to speak for yourself!, You did nothing to help your own daughter!, You just watched as she was raised to be something she didn't want to be!"

She spoke out her mind finally letting out those built up words that haunted her, needing to be said "— I thank you for everything though, despite not given me the love that I needed, your own choices took me to where we are now. Without those decisions, I wouldn't have met Levi so I thank you, for what you both did" she smiled at them

Her mom stood there quietly, before turning around and walking towards the door, her father following close behind "Don't bother returning home" was all her father said

"I won't"

She was already home, she was standing next to it. Holding his hand, Levi Ackerman was the safe place she will always and forever need.

“— And they lived happily ever after”

Y/n closed the book, looking at the twins, her daughter and son who had fallen asleep half way through the story.

“Please tell me you didn't read to them the explicit parts”

The voice of her husband scared her and she turned to him, who stood by the door leaning into it.

“Of course not you idiot!”

She stood up turning off the lamp and given both of the children kisses on their head, before going out of the room with Levi.

“I still think we should publish this book” Y/n smirked, a mischievous look in her eyes

“Absolutely not”

Yeah, their Love Story had a happy ending after all.

This was so much fun to write! I wrote 4k words and I'm proud of that! I feel like my writing has improved in the past few days, and this might be one of the works that will show it, and I hope future ones show the progress too! Also I want to punch y/n's mother in the face.

Thank you so much for reading, you can support my work by hitting reblog or liking! But don't repost to other platforms!

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 31

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: At Waystation, pt 4/?

A/N: Soo sorry about the long wait! This was a very long and kind of tricky chapter to write so it took me longer than I would have wanted. But in a way this is (ironically) a good day to post this chapter as it's the Mother's day in many parts of the world today. (Happy Mother’s day Esperanza Valdez ;___;)

Before we head into this chapter, I want to give you guys a warning that it (specifically, the flashback in the beginning of the chapter) talks about what happened to Leo's mother, so in case you find that too hard to read, feel free to skip it. (If you have read HoO, I think you can somewhat guess what to expect)

Thanks for all the amazing support you guys have given me so far! ♥ It's what keeps me going! Now, enjoy, and remember that I'd really like to hear what you think because there's a lot going on in this chapter!

Words: 5550 (yeah, long one)

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: minor character death (talked about), be aware!

previous chapter / AO3

*flashback*

There was fire. So much fire.

Leo had been tinkering with his toy tools and drawing some simple blueprints in the living room when he had remembered that he had left his hammer into his room. He went to look for it and it took him a couple of minutes to locate it from under the unfinished toys and papers he had thrown around. Unfortunately, that couple of minutes had been enough for all hell to break loose in the living room.

He started smelling smoke and ran back downstairs to see where it came from. The wooden floor and several pieces of furniture in the living room were on fire, which seemed to have started from the papers he had left near the fireplace. Leo’s mind went completely blank like a machine that had just been shut down. The only thing that he was capable of thinking was: what do I do?

His mother had put a fire in the fireplace before she had left to run some errands because it had been a cold day. She had warned Leo several times to be careful with it, even putting a bucket of water and a smothering blanket nearby in case of emergency. But it was already too late to use them; the fire had already spread too far in the room. Because of his state of panic, it took Leo a while to manage to make decisions, but finally, his brain told him: get your phone so you can call mom, and run.

What his 8-year-old brain didn’t understand: he should have just left the building right then and asked a neighbor or someone to call the fire department instead. But Leo could only think how the very thing his mother had been worried about just happened and how she’d probably never forgive him for – no matter how accidentally – burning their home. He had vague memories of leaving his cell phone that he had gotten a few months earlier on his birthday into his room, so he ran upstairs as quickly as he could with his short, wobbly legs. However, the phone wasn’t on his desk like he had anticipated, and it took him a while to remember he had thrown it under the bed after getting frustrated with his homework; the words on the textbook they were supposed to read had not made any sense to him.

Once he finally found the cell phone and went back downstairs to leave the building, the fire had already spread so much that he could barely see anything from the smoke. Coughing, he tried to cover his mouth with his shirt so he could protect himself from the smoke and dash to the door, but he soon realized it was not possible. His road was blocked, and the only way for him to get out would be through the upstairs windows.

Leo didn’t have the time to figure out how to open the windows so he ended up breaking his bedroom window with a real hammer that he happened to find nearby. Shaking, breathing heavily and trying to avoid the glass shards, he looked down. The fall would be quite big, at least 5-6 meters, but he was no stranger to broken bones. The fights with other school kids had taught him a thing or two about that. He would still be more likely to survive the fall than trying to go out from downstairs; at least there were no stones or other hard objects under the window. He was so full of adrenaline that he didn’t even notice that his hands were bleeding; they had hit the broken glass when he had peeked out.

Finally, he managed to gain enough courage to climb up the windowsill and lift one of his legs over the edge. In the process he scraped himself some more in the glass and tore his pants a bit as well, but who cared? It was a very minor thing compared to his mother’s face if she’d find him dead in the house. For a moment Leo thought about all the blueprints and devices in development in the basement of the house, how hours and hours of his mother’s work would go to waste if the entire house burned down – but that was a thing to worry about for later. It was already too late to do anything but to try to escape.

With a huge lump in his throat as he imagined how his mother would hate him when she’d find out about the fire, Leo finally lifted his other leg over the edge as well, sitting on the windowsill with his legs hanging in the air. The distance between him and the ground seemed even bigger than it had earlier, but he had to do this. Slowly, he inched himself forward, hesitating a bit more, but the sound of the fire breaking something downstairs startled him and finally, he dropped down.

After that his memories started getting hazy. He fainted when hitting the ground and when he first woke up he noticed the pain in his left ankle and some blood coming from his forehead. He was laying on the grass, not unharmed but at least alive, and suddenly he got aware that he had to get farther from the house because the fire could easily spread to the surrounding grounds. He could only hope that a neighbor or a passerby had already called the fire department because he himself would not be able to do that, not with his dizzy head and the pain everywhere in his body. Before he passed out again, his last thought was: when would his mother be back?

The next time he was conscious, he remembered trying to drag himself forward with his hands. He could not stand up, and not even crawl, so that was the only thing he could do. Inch by inch, he got a bit farther from his falling spot, and by that time he also started hearing some distant sirens and human yells somewhere, but his mind could not comprehend what all of it meant.

After that, the next thing he remembered was being lifted from the ground by a first responder. The man tried to tell him soothing words, probably something like ‘poor child, it will be alright’, but Leo didn’t care. He wished the fogginess of his brain would just fade so he could speak and walk on his own feet and find out what happened to his mother – if she returned yet – but afterwards, he wished he would have never found out.

He kept slipping in and out of consciousness for a while, not really sure what was happening around him, until finally he woke up in the hospital. One of his legs and arms had been plastered and a bandage had been wrapped around his head. Already he wished he could have just ripped them off and run away but he knew that wasn’t possible. A couple of minutes later, a nurse finally arrived at his bedside.

“Oh, good, I’m glad you’re awake,” she said, testing his forehead to see if he had a fever. “You scared us there, young one.”

“It’s not me you should be worried about! Where’s my mom?! Hasn’t anyone told her I am here?” Leo demanded in a hoarse voice.

The nurse ignored his question. “Now, what is your name?”

“Leo Valdez,” he answered grumpily, glaring at the nurse.

“Good. How old are you?” the woman asked then.

“8 years. But how does that have anything to do with anything? I want my mom here!”

“Calm down, Mr. Valdez. We are just doing some routine tests. You hit your head pretty badly. Now, do you remember your home address?”

Leo, despite still feeling quite dizzy, got really angry about the question. “Yes, I do, but it doesn’t matter! There’s probably nothing left of it anymore! Because it burned down!” The tears finally demanded to get out of his system as he added with a tiny voice: “And I don’t know where my mom is.”

The nurse looked very hesitant for a moment. “I, um… You know, I think we are gonna complete this test a bit later. There are some people who have been wanting to see you.” She looked towards the door restlessly.

“Is it mom?” Leo asked instantly.

The nurse just shook her head. “You’ll see soon.”

She let the visitors in and left the room, closing the door behind her. Leo found himself staring at a firefighter, who he vaguely recognized as the same one who had carried him to safety after his fall. With him entered a police officer whom Leo had not seen before. Why would a police officer want to meet him, he wondered. Maybe they’d sentence him to prison for burning the house down?

“It was an accident!” Leo blurted before the men had time to say anything, trying to look brave even though he had just cried.

“We know, we know,” the firefighter tried to calm him down. “That’s not why we are here. We wanted to see how you were doing, and, um…” he looked helplessly at his companion.

“We have some bad news,” the police officer went straight to the topic.

“Is it about the house?” Leo asked.

“No, it’s about your mother… she’s gone.”

It took Leo a moment to register what the police officer had said.

“What?” he yelled.

“I’m sorry, but she is dead.”

Leo couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was already so panicked that denial was his only coping mechanism left. “Again, what?”

“It is true, young man,” the police officer stated matter-of-factly.

“But she can’t be! She wasn’t even home…!” Leo squeaked, trying to make sense of the situation in his blurry, shocked mind.

The firefighter spoke this time. “I’m so sorry, son… but he’s not lying. We found her in your house. The neighbor who called us had seen her go in before we arrived, and… when we got there… it was already too late.”

“But… but…” Leo had a very hard time getting any words out at that moment. “Why… why would she go in…? And… why didn’t anyone stop her?”

Again the visitors hesitated before answering. “This is just what we heard from a couple of witnesses, but… it seems like she had gone in to… look for you…”

Leo wished the sweet unconsciousness had returned to him in that moment, but that didn’t happen. Instead, it felt like something tried to pull his heart out of his chest. His mind was going through about a hundred different things at the same time: grief, anger, denial… and perhaps above everything else, guilt. It was his fault. It was his fault that the house had burned, and it was his fault that his mother had gone into the burning house. If he had been there to warn her… if she had known… But no, he had had to jump from upstairs to the backyard from where he had been harder to find. And then he had, only half conscious, dragged himself to a nearby trench where the humidity had protected him, being even harder to spot unless you happened to walk right next to it.

That meant that his mother had gone into the house thinking he was there… and she had died thinking he had died. All because he hadn’t listened to her, because he had left some papers on which he had been drawing too near the fireplace.

‘My fault. All my fault’, was all Leo could hear in his head on repeat. He noticed that the firefighter was trying to say something, but he could not register what. Leo didn’t ask him to repeat what he had said. Instead, he stuttered with a weak voice:

“You didn’t answer my other question. Why… didn’t anyone… stop her?”

The police officer sighed sadly. “From what we know, your neighbors had tried to tell her to not go in, that there was nothing she could do, but she refused to listen. The… smoke had already suffocated her by the time we arrived.”

Leo clenched his small fists, unable to focus his gaze anywhere. Everything around him was just a meaningless blur. All of a sudden, nothing mattered to him anymore. With his mother, Leo hadn’t just lost the most important person in his life, the only person who had ever really cared about him and understood him. He had lost his home, his safety, everything that he had loved. More to himself than to the men in the room, he sobbed:

“What's going to happen to me?”

And then everything went blank.

*end flashback*

…

When Leo woke up, he noticed he was breathing very sharply. He had to tell himself to slow it down a bit, trying to focus on the breathing instead of the dream he had just seen. Once he had calmed down a bit, he realized his face was soaked from the tears. The good feeling from the day before was gone, and suddenly he remembered all too well why he hated that holiday so much. His mother had died on Christmas day, 11 years ago.

The worst part about the nightmare he had just seen? It had actually happened. Sure, the details might have changed in Leo’s mind a bit because he had been so young when his mother had died, but most of it was true. The fire, the jumping, the people in the hospital, all true. When he had still been a kid, he had dared to hope that maybe someday the memories would start fading and it wouldn’t hurt so much. But now, 11 years later, he knew better. Thanks to the therapy and Jo, Emmie and the friends’ help, he did have moments when he managed to feel happy, focus on the future and forget the pain for a time being, but when it came back, it was always as intense. And it was especially bad on Christmas days, the anniversary of those horrific events.

‘Pull yourself together’, Leo told himself. ‘This is not what your mother would have wanted for you.’

‘No’, another, the evil voice in his head said. ‘But then again, if it weren’t for you, she would still be here.’

He groaned at himself and decided that it would be better to get himself up and moving rather than lay there listening to the voices. Sitting up, he combed his fingers through his messy hair in an attempt to tame it, with little success. After that, he wiped the tears from his face, trying to pretend it had never happened. Registering the voices coming from the living room, he figured some of his family members were already awake even though it was still rather early. They, especially Georgina, were lucky that they didn’t know what was going through in his head that day; it would have ruined everyone’s Christmas.

Trying to pull himself together and put on a happy face, he got up and washed his face in the bathroom quickly before joining the family. The moment he reached the bottom of the stairs, Georgina ran to him and hugged him.

“Merry Christmas, hermano!”

Leo patted her hair absentmindedly, thinking that Georgina was now only a year older than he had been when… no, he had to stop thinking about it. If not for anyone else’s sake, then Georgina’s. She deserved to have a happy day.

“Merry Christmas to you too, hermanita. Well, did Santa visit? Did he receive my memo on your behavior towards me this year?”

Georgina pulled away from him and folded his arms. “I’m not a little baby anymore; I know Santa doesn’t actually exist. But we did get presents! Even you, although I was kind of surprised about that.”

Leo clutched his shirt. “Ouch, Georgie! I thought you were on my side!”

The siblings continued bickering playfully as they waited for the others. They had a tradition in their house that everyone needed to be there for the present opening. Soon Josephine appeared with a tray full of coffee cups, gingerbread cookies and certain small pies she used to bake every Christmas.

“Where are the others?” Georgina asked impatiently as she started stuffing the cookies into her mouth and drummed her legs against the sofa. “I want to open the presents already!”

“Calm down, Georgie,” Jo scolded her. “Emmie is checking the cats and dogs because they also need care on Christmas day, and Calypso may still be sleeping.”

“Ugh, I told her I wanna start opening the presents early!” Georgina protested. “I’ll go wake her up if she isn’t here in 10 minutes!”

“You’ll wake who up?” Calypso showed up from the stairway. Hearing her voice and seeing her face, Leo forgot for a moment why he had been so upset earlier. Somehow her presence just had that weird effect on him. She was wearing a green holiday sweater knitted by Annabeth over her pajamas – pink with some small flower prints – and her hair was flying freely, slightly wavy because of the braids that Georgie had insisted on making the previous evening. Somehow even that casual look made her look adorable in his eyes and his throat felt dry for entirely different reasons than a few minutes earlier. Leo almost missed Calypso’s next words due to his distraction. “Sorry that you had to wait, Georgina. I was finishing up one last present because I wasn’t entirely happy with it.”

“No worries!” Georgina exclaimed. Apparently the last minute gift preparing was a good enough reason to be late in her books, because Leo knew that if he had been late for the gift opening, the little girl wouldn’t have forgiven that easily.

Calypso put her pile of neatly packed presents under the tree to wait and turned to the others.

“So, merry Christmas, everyone! If I am allowed to be honest with you, I don’t really know a lot about Christmas traditions… My family never celebrated it… But I want to learn!”

“We’ll teach you,” Georgina told her immediately. “It’s gonna be so much fun, you’ll see!”

Leo wished he himself could have been as enthusiastic about the holiday as Georgina was, but tried to keep the happy face on anyway.

“Cal, try some of those pies before Georgie has eaten them all.” He pointed to the tray Jo had brought. Calypso glanced at him suspiciously for a moment. “Don’t give me that look; I swear I didn’t make them. It’s all Jo and Emmie.”

“Fine,” Calypso agreed and took a bite. “This is really good!” she exclaimed once her mouth was empty.

“Told you. Now do you trust me?” Leo asked her teasingly.

“Hmmm. That’s still to be determined,” Calypso replied, but Leo could see her smile into her piece of pie.

As everyone waited for Emmie to return inside, they kept up a light banter as they ate their Christmas breakfast in the living room. Even Leo did his best to participate in it, and soon he did feel a bit better, although if someone had looked at him more closely, they would have noticed the smile on his face didn’t reach his eyes.

Finally, Emmie arrived together with Festus and Georgina instantly pulled her towards the Christmas tree so they could start the gift sharing. A grin spread across Leo’s face as well when he watched the little girl run back and forth as she delivered the packages to their rightful owners. This was now, he tried to remind himself. What happened in the past… was in the past and his mother would probably have wanted him to enjoy these moments.

Not that he’d ever know that for sure, the nasty voice in Leo’s head said again, and the grin almost disappeared from his face.

To no one’s surprise, Georgina got the most presents because even some family friends and neighbors had sent her something (that’s what happened when she got everyone wrapped around her finger, Leo thought), but everyone else got their fair share of self made gifts as well. Leo noticed that Calypso had three packages; one from him, one from Georgina who had insisted on making her own present, and one from Jo and Emmie. He found himself wishing she’d like what he had made; he had spent quite a lot of time on it.

Before anyone could start ripping their wrapping papers off the presents, Festus was given some treats so he wouldn’t interrupt the gift opening too much. Georgina got the privilege of getting to open hers first. She chuckled at Leo’s jokes in the photo album, which Leo took as a success, and squealed excitedly at the tiny dragon toy he had carved from wood and painted. Calypso had sewed her a detailed gryphon plushie, because Leo had told her that Georgina had recently gotten interested in the mythical creatures, a topic Calypso knew a lot about. The little girl hugged the plushie enthusiastically while Calypso promised her to tell her more about the Greek mythology later when they’d have more time. Emmie gave Georgie a tiny beginning of a plant that she’d get to raise on her own, and Jo, the practical person that she was, gave her a pocket knife for tinkering with a warning that she’d only get to use it under her supervision.

Leo and Calypso allowed Jo and Emmie to open their presents next. It was mostly practical stuff, like woolly socks, self made chocolate, and new tools (which broke the ‘homemade’ rule but Leo knew Jo needed them), but Leo had also tinkered frames for a photo of the Waystation family and asked Calypso to decorate it with her paints. The final result looked pretty good in his opinion.

Next was Calypso’s turn. Georgina had attempted to crochet a potholder for her because Leo had guiltily admitted that he may have accidentally ruined one of Calypso’s potholders while cooking something. However, since she was still a beginner in the handicrafts, the potholder had some room for improvement, but Leo could see from Calypso’s happy face that she appreciated the gesture. Leo had also told his mothers that Calypso really loved her flowers, so they gave her a white orchid in a pot that Jo had once crafted. Finally, she opened the gift Leo had made for her. He was biting his lip and tapping his fingers nervously even though he tried to act nonchalant as he watched Calypso’s reaction. Before she removed the paper, she knocked on the surface of the gift, trying to guess what was in it.

“Is this a tool box? So you could borrow mine when you lose yours?” She teased.

“Well, at least that would be useful, don’t you think? But hold your horses; it’s probably not what you think it is,” Leo hinted. Calypso gave him a quizzical look and Leo took that as a sign that she really had no idea what the gift was.

“I guess there’s only one way to find out,” she noted and started carefully removing the paper. Unlike Georgina, she made sure that the paper would still be usable on some later occasion. Calypso wasn’t entirely wrong with her guess; the gift was indeed a box of sorts. But it wasn’t for tools. Instead, it was a jewelry box; wooden, self made, painted rose pink, which happened to be Calypso’s favorite color. When she opened it, she noticed a small mirror on the lid with some text on it. The box also played one of those few songs that they both happened to like. Calypso traced her finger on the smooth surface of the box for a moment before she noticed that there was still something more in the box: a silvery bracelet with a letter C hanging from it. She took it into her hands and admired it for a moment before reading aloud the text that had been written on the mirror:

“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading the last one.”

“Um, yeah…” Leo was unsure how he should respond. Suddenly he got worried he had been too straightforward with that message, and Calypso wouldn’t appreciate it. “It was a quote, um, that I happened to stumble upon somewhere recently… But I thought it was quite fitting?”

Calypso looked at him straight into the eyes and for a moment Leo managed to forget that there were others in the room. It was as if she was trying to message him wordlessly that she understood the meaning of the quote.

“Yes, I think it works,” she replied slowly. “For both of us.”

Leo felt his ears getting heated and attempted to comb his hair over them with his fingers to not make it so painfully obvious. Given what day it was, he understood that it was ironic he was using that quote when he himself was struggling to let go from his past.

“True,” he had to admit, looking at the others nervously from the corner of his eye. “It’s… it’s something that we both should try to remember. Something we have in common, right?”

Calypso seemed to accept his explanation. “Right. Um, this box is really beautiful. You’ve seen a lot of trouble with it. The music and all… It’s really nice. Did you even make this bracelet?”

Even though Leo should have prepared himself for that question, he felt embarrassed to reveal the bracelet’s origins, afraid it might sound too sentimental. He rubbed the back of his neck and cleared his throat to get more time to consider his answer.

“The… the chain was from an old bracelet my mom had… My biological mom, I mean. I didn’t get to keep a lot of her belongings but this had survived… and my dear aunt didn’t want to keep it so I’ve been carrying it around as a charm of some sort. But the thing is, I don’t really need it so it was Jo’s suggestion that I could give it to someone who’d use it. She helped me make this,” he showed the C, “because I don’t really…”

“Want to forge anything,” Calypso finished for him. “Yeah. I understand.”

“Good. If you don’t like it, you can give it to someone else; I’m sure my mom wouldn’t mind…”

Calypso gave him an encouraging smile. “Oh, no! This bracelet meant a lot to you so it means a lot to me. It’s a really nice gesture, Leo.”

“You’re welcome?” he replied, kind of flustered by her reaction.

Calypso fiddled with the gift for a moment before turning her attention back to Leo.

“Would you like to put this on my wrist? I’d like to see how it fits.”

“Oh… alright!” Leo agreed, wishing he could say something that didn’t make him sound like a complete idiot. But then again, he reminded himself, wasn’t that what most people thought of him? And since when had he cared?

Calypso handed the bracelet to him and Leo took a very light hold of her wrist, as if afraid that he’d burn her skin with his hot fingers. He was so focused on his task that he even forgot that it was technically against the ‘rules’ they had set, but Calypso had initiated it so who was he to deny her request? He put the chain around her wrist with fumbling fingers and closed the lock. After that he allowed his hand to stay around hers a moment longer. He swiped the surface of the chain with his finger, also touching the back of her hand by accident (or maybe on purpose). Calypso looked up from their hands to him with a surprisingly soft expression that he hadn’t seen since that day when they had promised each other to try harder to be ‘just friends’. His brain sent sparks through his spine and he felt very warm all of a sudden.

“I… um… it seems to fit, doesn’t it?” he finally stuttered, looking down at the bracelet, Calypso’s gaze still lingering in his mind. He let her wrist go and already his hand felt much colder, as if it was missing something.

“Oh, yeah,” Calypso nodded, absentmindedly fiddling with the chain of the bracelet. “It’s small enough that it won’t fall but it’s not too small.”

“Good,” Leo said, a smile returning to his face. “Guess you’re just as tiny as my mom was.” He finally managed to bring out his more playful side.

“Have you looked into the mirror lately, Mister Super-Sized McShizzle? You’re not exactly a giant yourself,” Calypso teased back.

Georgina giggled at her response. “You tell him, Calie!”

“This Georgina here, though,” Leo grinned at her, “she must really have some giant blood in her. She uses my overalls in the garage sometimes!”

“I do not,” Georgina denied quickly. “They’re stinky.”

“Yeah? And you smell like flowers and rainbows,” Leo retorted and started tickling the little girl.

For a moment Leo was able to forget that he hated Christmas as he played with Georgina, but then someone reminded him that he still had to open his own presents. He looked at the pile he had gotten and thought briefly that he had gotten more of them than what he had expected. Georgina had drawn him a picture of him with Festus and sewed him a simple pencil case for his blueprint pencils. Jason and Piper had gotten him a book about weird mechanics facts. Percy had sent him a new orange t-shirt so Leo could return him the one that he had once borrowed after a workout (which, according to Percy, was ‘way too big for him anyway’). Leo’s moms had made him an awesome tool case where even the bigger tools would fit and baked some of his favorite goodies. Finally, it was the turn for Calypso’s present, though.

“What do you think it is?” Calypso asked, glancing at him curiously.

“My first guess would have been a pack of olives because you know how much I love those things… But this doesn’t feel like them. It’s mostly soft but there are some hard parts too. Maybe a bit like a backpack?"

“That wasn’t a half bad guess,” Calypso responded. “But I won’t tell you the correct answer; you can figure it out on your own.” She invited Leo to open the present.

“Okie, Sunshine, will do.”

He ripped the paper (which was Leo’s favorite shade of red) off notably less gracefully than Calypso had done with her presents, but his mouth opened involuntarily when he saw what was inside. It was a toolbelt, not looking like one of those belts that broke in his use after the first couple of days (Leo had a habit to load them too full sometimes), but sturdy, well made. Leo wondered where she had obtained the leather she had used in it, and hoped that it hadn’t cost her too much money. The belt had four different sized pockets for the tools and it seemed like one of them had something in it, but before Leo checked what was inside, he turned to Calypso:

“How did you know I needed one of these?”

“Probably because you’ve been carrying wrenches and stuff in your jean pockets and I’ve also seen your room and that’s enough for me to be able to tell you need a place for your tools,” Calypso smirked. Leo barely heard her answer. He didn’t want to admit aloud that one of the reasons why he was suddenly feeling so sentimental about a tool belt was because it reminded him a lot of the one his mom had made for him when he was a kid. “I hope this wasn’t too much trouble…” He noted more quietly than usual.

“It was not trouble at all,” Calypso reassured him. “I have sewed more difficult things. The leather was actually from one of my old bags that my dad got for me – which I hated – so I didn’t even have to buy a lot of the materials. Besides, you yourself made this,” she knocked the wooden cover of the jewelry box, “and I bet it was a lot more difficult.”

“Nah, it wasn’t…” Leo tried to protest and he noticed the others in the room had a hard time keeping their faces straight as they listened to the flatmates competing whose present had taken more time. “The music was probably the most complicated part.”

“Okay,” Calypso said, deciding to leave the debate there. “Hey, I forgot to mention that there is something small in one of the pockets. You could check it out now.”

“Alright, I will,” Leo told her. He reached out to the said pocket and found a small box from it. His smile instantly disappeared from his face when he realized what it was. Everyone went quiet for a while as they were waiting for his reaction.

“Why would you give me matches, especially today of all days?” He lifted his gaze from the box, his eyes sparkling angrily. Before anyone could say anything, he threw the box away and jumped up from his seat. Calypso’s sad face was the last thing he saw before storming out of the room.

[k-llama-llama]

Baby Cheese

TXT AU: 6th member

Sara x TXT

Sara has to stand up for herself during an awkward encounter.

A/N: Please check out my PATREON (patreon.com/kllamallama) for exclusive posts you can’t get anywhere else, as well as lots of other cool benefits!

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Masterlist and other Follow Me links in bio!

“Noona, you’re feeling okay?” Beomgyu tapped her on the shoulder as they walked off stage. 

“I’m good.” She promised, shrugging out of her jacket. “I’m just going to sit down for a second.” 

As soon as they entered the backstage area of the award show, Sara headed straight for one of the couches. She wasn’t really feeling that bad, but she wanted to sit down and collect herself for a few minutes. 

She sat down on the couch, happy that she was wearing pants and didn’t need to worry about adjusting her skirt as she settled into the cushions. 

“I’ll see if there’s food.” Soobin said. “You guys help me. Soo-ji, you’re good?” 

“Yup, go ahead.” She pointed towards a table in the corner. “I think the food is there.” 

The boys hurried off, and she smiled when she saw Taehyun grab an extra plate. Though she’d eaten before going out for the award show (Yeonjun had threatened to dismember her if she didn’t eat a sandwich), she was still starving, and honestly the table of tiny cheeses and carrot sticks was looking pretty delicious at this point. 

“Hi, you’re Sara, right?” A male voice said, a hand landing on her shoulder. 

She turned, finding a male idol smiling down at her. She recognized him, but she couldn’t place a name to his face, and was fairly certain that she’d never actually met him. Still, he was definitely interested in meeting her. 

“Yes, I am. It’s nice to meet you.” She bowed her head, hoping he would introduce himself. 

He didn’t, instead he dropped down onto the couch beside her. “This award show has been kind of lame, right?”

 “Oh, um…I don’t mind it.” She glanced over, hoping that the boys would be heading back. They probably knew who this was. Alas, they were still trying to spoon different kinds of dips onto their plates. 

“No?” He tilted his head. “We’re going to check out the dessert table in the other room. Do you want to come?”

 “No thank you.” She said politely. “I’m just waiting for my group….so…” 

“Ah, okay.” He stood. “See you around, I guess.” He walked around the other side of the couch and away from her.

 Sara shook her head, focusing back on her incoming plate of food as Taehyun set it in her lap. 

“You’re the sweetest.” She smiled as her sat down next to her.

 “I got you a little bit of everything.” He said. “I hope you feel better.”

 “I feel fine, but I’m sure this will be delicious.” She grinned, taking a bite of a baby sausage. 

“Who were you talking to?” Hueningkai asked. 

“I couldn’t remember his name.” Sara said. “But he seemed nice.” 

“I don’t know man, I asked her but she didn’t want to.” A conversation from behind the couch reached their ears. 

“It looked like she was waiting for you to go away.” Someone else said, a laugh in their voice. 

“I guess she’s too good to talk to us.” The guy who’d been talking to her grumbled. “Didn’t really expect her to be such a bitch.”

 They all turned around, finding the guy who had been talking to Sara relaying his version of events to his groupmates. 

“You know we can hear you, right?” Yeonjun said, causing them to face TXT. 

The guy shrugged. “Sorry, but it’s true. I was just being nice and she didn’t give a shit.” 

“Probably because she’s-“ Soobin started. 

Sara held up a hand, facing the guy herself. “I’m sorry if you thought I was being rude. I was just waiting for my group to come back.”

 “Please, you practically looked like you were falling asleep when I was talking to you. And then you didn’t want to come for dessert with us? At least pretend to have a real excuse.”

 “Her excuse is that she’s-” 

Again, Sara cut Soobin off. “I don’t need to explain myself to you. I didn’t feel like going. You didn’t introduce yourself to me so why wouldn’t I prefer to eat with my friends then with a complete stranger?” 

“You…I….” He sputtered. “You didn’t have to be so rude about the whole thing.”

 “I seem to remember being perfectly polite the whole time. You’re the one who’s being rude right now. If you’re going to talk trash about people, maybe don’t do it right where they can hear you.” 

“I can say whatever I want.” 

“Sure you can.” Sara smiled. “But go somewhere else and do it. Dessert’s in the next room.” 

She turned back around, picking up a piece of cheese and ignoring them as they walked away. 

“Was he being creepy when he was over here?” Soobin asked. 

Sara shrugged. “Not really. I just didn’t feel like going anywhere. If that was his attempt of coming on to me he really needs some practice.”

 “But seriously….” Yeonjun shook his head. “Since when do you confront people like that. You’re usually all ‘sorry for inconveniencing you and what can I do to make it right?’. I’ve never seen you actually call someone out.”

 “I call you guys out all of the time, what are you talking about?” Sara shook her head, trying to build a tiny cheese and cracker sandwich. 

“Yeah, but you’re normally mean to us. Since when do you do it to other people?” Beomgyu crossed his arms. 

“Aw, Gyu. You jealous?” Sara teased. 

“No.” He rolled his eyes. 

“I promise to be only mean to you from now on.” She laughed. 

“I don’t want that.” But he looked a little bit like he wanted that. 

“Whatever, Sara’s a bitch now.” Yeonjun stole one of her celery sticks. 

“Eat up so we can go raid the dessert table.” 

“Diets.” Sara warned. 

“There she is.”

[scarletwinterxx]

Timeless pt. 5 - Doyoung AU

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2020 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

PART ONE || PART TWO || PART TWO.5 || PART THREE || PART FOUR || PART FIVE || PART SIX || FINALE

“You’re late”

“What matters is I’m here, and I missed you too” I was greeted with an eyeroll by my dearest brother before giving him a quick hug, 

“Why can’t you just come home? I swear I feel like I’m a spy trying to sneak away every time I come to visit you”

It’s been a year since I took off, ran away, packed my bags and took the first flight out with no solid plan apart from wanting to be away from everything. It wasn’t the smarter move to do, but after the little talk I had with my mom it felt like I couldn’t think clearly while I was there. I needed to get away. Indefinitely. 

What was suppose to be a quick weekend getaway turned to a couple of weeks, which then turned to a couple of months until now it’s almost been a year. 

Jeno’s the only one who knows my exact location, he was also the only person I called before I took off. I know it was probably too much to handle for him but I knew I could trust my brother, and I knew I couldn’t just disappear without saying a word to someone.

I told my parents after a week I left, they understood my decision and took care of telling the Kim’s about what happened. I wanted to apologize to them in person for all the problems I caused, maybe when I go back. It seems that I owe a lot of people apologies when I get back. 

I know I had to come back eventually. 

“Joy noona was tailing me you know” Jeno’s statement made me look at him, sending a confused look his way

“She’s been asking me, no more like demanding to know where you are. I don’t know if I can keep her away for long” that made me chuckle, I was already impressed he hasn’t told her yet. I knew Joy could be pretty persuasive when she wants to be. My poor brother. 

“We lasted this long, you can do it for a few more weeks” I told him

“That’s what you said about a year ago”

“I know, I’m just not sure if I’m ready yet” I mumbled

“What exactly are you not ready for? to see Doyoung hyung again?”

At the mention of his name it felt like the world stopped turning for a second, enough to remind of something or someone I know I lost the moment I ran away. 

He didn’t deserve it. 

When I didn’t say anything, Jeno took something out of his pocket then put it on the table between us

“What’s this?”

“Anniversary present”

“Huh?”

“It’s been a year since you know, Doyoung hyung came by my dorm to drop that off. He knows I know where you are, he asked me to give it to you” Jeno said, he looked as if he was torn between giving it to me or keeping it to himself. I know he just want to help Doyoung out but he’s also wary about my reaction to this

“Are you not going to ask me how he’s doing?” Jeno asked, 

I wanted to. So many days I wanted to run back and apologize to him. So many nights I hold my phone wanting to dial his number and hear his voice again. But after what I did, I know I don’t deserve that. I don’t deserve him. 

“No, I don’t deserve to ask that anymore” I answered him, a sad smile on my lips

After that he didn’t push it anymore, we just talked about his studies, our parent and just spent the rest of the time catching up. 

“Call me when you need anything” He told me while we wait for his train

“Ofcourse, Thanks, Jen. See you in a few weeks” with one last hug we bid our goodbyes. Waving to my little brother as he boarded the train back home. 

It’s been a week since Jeno came to visit, I just got back from grocery shopping and was cleaning around the apartment when I saw the bag Jeno brought. 

The gift from Doyoung. 

I forgot about it, more like been putting off looking at it. 

Deciding to finally face the truth, I took the bag and sat down on the couch. When I opened it, there was a notebook and a small box, that was it. 

I took the box first, untying the ribbon to open it. I almost dropped it when I saw what was inside, it was rings. 

Our rings.

In the box were the rings we both chose to be our wedding rings and my engagement ring, the one I left behind. It felt wrong taking it with me so before I left I took it off. He must have found it at my old place. 

I took the notebook and carefully opened it, I already knew what was going to b inside it. The moment I saw it I recognized it, it was the notebook Joy gifted us and jokingly said we should write down our wedding plans in it. Which is what we exactly did. 

It’s been so long since I last saw it. Slowly and meticulously I looked at the pages one by one, a smile making its way on my lips unknowingly.

On the very last page at the very back I noticed there was something written, I recognized it to be Doyoung’s handwritting.

WIth careful hands I turned the page to read what was written on it,

I don’t even know how to start this letter. 

Hi sounds stupid. Hello even sounds more stupid. I’m not even sure if this letter will ever find it’s way to you or if you will read it if it ever manages to get to you. 

But either way can I just say, 

I miss you. 

There are so many things I want to say, so many questions I want to ask but right now I just want you to know I miss you. I keep asking myself if which was real, the time when you were here or the moment you just disappeared. I’m still not sure which one. It hurts too much to think about it. 

When I got back I went to your place only to see you were long gone, the only thing I found there was your ring. In that moment I knew. I’m not mad though, not anymore. 

I try not to think to much about you, I always tell myself today would be the last time I would but that’s a lie. I do it the next day all over again.

Today’s the exact day you left, today I’ll let myself miss you a bit more. Can I be a bit more sad today? You won’t be mad right?

When you’re ready, in your own time, place and pace, come back home. I’ll be there smiling at you. 

-Doie 

By the end of the letter I couldn’t hold back the tears, months and months of trying not to cry over this and it seems that this letter broke down the last of my resolve. It’s the kind of cry you try to control but you end up crying some more until the tears run out and it’s just pain in your chest. 

I must’ve have passed out out of emotional exhaustion because the next morning when I woke up I was still on the couch, I thought last night was a dream and I just passed out here but seeing the box on the coffee table and the letter on the floor was enough to tell me it wasn’t a dream. 

For a moment I was just staring at the box infront of me, contemplating on what to do. 

Feeling a rush, I got up and looked for my phone. Quickly dialing a number, it didn’t take long before the call was picked up. 

“Hi, Joy. I know I have a lot of explaining to do, but can you come and pick me up from the station?”

I’m still not sure what came over me, after my call with Joy I just packed a bag, took Doyoung’s ‘gifts’ then got on the next train back home. 

Now I’m outside the station, sitting on a bench waiting for Joy to come and pick me up. I’m so grateful for her, she didn’t even ask any question like I thought she would. I know she does have a lot of questions and was only holding herself back, but I could hear through the phone the concern and relief in her voice when I said I was coming back. 

At that moment it didn’t matter that I didn’t tell here where I was for a year, she was being the best bestfriend she is. 

“And she comes back from the dead!” I hear someone shout beside me, looking over I see my bestfriend walking towards me

“Hi Joy, I missed you too”

“You could’ve just told me your dream was to be a runaway bride I would have helped you set it up, getaway car and all that” that made me laugh a bit, she hasn’t lost her tenacity at all

“I wasn’t even a bride when I ran away, I just... ran away” I shrugged, she gave me quick but tight hug before pulling on my arm

“Whatever, just next time you tell me okay? I missed you too much” 

“I missed you too, Soo-Youngie”

“See no one calls me that but you! God I missed you so much”

The rest of the ride back to her place we just talked about everything that I missed, she didn’t pressure me to tell her what happened but I could she’s just itching ask me. 

“So where are you going to stay after this?” She asked when we settled in her apartment

“Seeing that my parents sold my old place, I’m not really sure”

“You acted as if you’re never going to return, I was convinced you were dead in a ditch somewhere when I heard your parents were selling your place. You loved that apartment!” she explained

“That’s a bit extreme” I chuckled at her statement, meanwhile Joy just sent me glares

“Extreme? you disappeared. Without a word. I had to corner your brother and the rest of his friends just to make him tell me you were atleast safe”

“Sorry” she was about to say more when I cut her off with an apology

“You’re right, that was extreme. I could’ve just been the adult I’m suppose to be and deal with it but I couldn’t. I needed to just... get away. I should atleast said a proper goodbye to you. Sorry for making you worry” 

Joy just looked at me for a couple of seconds before I know it she's crying, this is indeed a rare sight to see. There are only a handful of moments I’ve seen her cry, even during sad movies.

“Are you crying?” I asked her, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling a bit

“Yes I am! I really thought something bad happened to you! At first I thought Doyoung had something to do with it, I was so ready to beat him up but when I saw him I knew he was left in the dark much like I was” 

“Sorry, I really am”

“Don’t worry about it, I kinda understand your decision. I was just so worried about you” she said while wiping the tears away

“Go head, ask away. I know you’ve been dying to ask me stuff” I said then passed her the box of tissues. It was the least I could do for her, besides I do owe a lot of people explanations

“Where exactly did you go?” that was a good and expected question

“The first week I just went to my relatives’ hometown, it was supposed to be a weekend trip then turned into a week and then I just realized I didn’t want to go home yet so I called my parent and told them my plans. I called Jeno, told him not to tell anyone then I just went on trips by myself”

“Did you know we were asking about you?” she asked, a sad look on her face. I felt guilty all over again just like I did when I first ran off. 

“Yea, Jeno told me. When you still didn’t know he knew, Jeno would call when he can, he’ll tell me about what’s happening here”

“So all this time he knew where you were?” I nodded my head at her question

“I wasn’t just going to disappear without someone knowing, I promised my parents I was safe and that Jeno knew where I was”

“Are you not going to ask me about him?” Joy asked back, I just looked over at her before realizing what she meant

“I don’t feel like I can” I mumbled

“He told me you left your engagement ring” I looked over where my purse was, the ring sitting inside the box somewhere in there. 

“Couldn’t take it with me”

“I think that’s what broke his heart the most, it wouldn’t matter if you ran away with it. But when he saw that you left it, I think he thought that was it. You two were done”

Were we?

Are we?

“Would it make you feel any better if I tell you he stayed single the whole time you were away?” Joy asked, an unsure smile on her face

“Should it? I don’t want to assume he stayed single because of me”

“Oh please, that man has only had his eyes on you even when he didn’t know he did. What? Don’t act surprised, while you were gone I heard Sejeong tried to re-connect with him”

“How did you even know about that?” I asked, not really surprised that she did know it but I asked anyways

“We work in the same industry, news travel, people talk. I heard she got turned down hard though” 

“Joy” I squealed

“What? She was though, Doyoung pretty much buried himself with work I don’t think he’s taken a single day off in a year”

“I don’t even have to ask, you just tell me even things I’m not asking about” I told her to which she just replied with a smile

“Speaking off, I have a few more tea to spill..”

The rest of the night we just spent on catching up, it felt nice to talk to a friend like this again. It felt great to be back home.

The next day, when Joy went to work I also started my day off. 

There are a lot of things I had to do, if I put off doing it I might talk myself out of it and never get it done. Which leads me to my destination right now. 

“Thank you” I told the cab driver when stopped in front of the gate, holding the bouquet of flowers in one hand and the other clutching my bag tightly out of nervousness. 

While walking towards the front door, I almost wanted to run back and pack my bags again. Shaking those thoughts away, I knocked on the door twice and waited for someone to answer, 

“Just a moment” someone said from inside the house, then the door slowly opened

“Who is- oh Y/N” Mrs. Kim said, surprise written across her face

“Hello, Mrs. Kim” I gave a brief bow before greeting her

“I didn’t expect to see you, come in” she said opening the door wider, welcoming me to their home

“Yea, I just got back yesterday” I said

“Glad to see you again” she shot me a smile, leading to the kitchen

“I was just baking some cookies, I was bored and decided to try this new recipe. Do you want to try some, I can make some tea too” she offered, her motherly features were showing no trace of anger that I thought would be thrown at me

“Sure, that sounds lovely. Oh these are for you by the way” I said then passed the flowers to her

“This is beautiful, thank you”

She put a mug infront of me, a tray of cookies she just baked before taking the seat across from me

“What brings you here?”

“To say my apologies, for what happened, for everything. I’m sorry I wasn't even here to tell you myself”

She looked down at the table before looking at me

“Your mother and I had a talk, you know passing wisdom from one mom to another. If there’s one thing we both admit we did wrong, that was to ask the two of you to get married. We admit we’ve already put Doyoung under so much pressure since he was a kid, but he knows how to excel beyond those expectations. But asking him to give his future that way was just too cruel”

She looked at the bouquet I brought for her, a smile forming

“Those are my favorite flowers, by the way, Thank you” she told me 

“I know, Doyoung told me once before. I just remembered it, thought you might like it”

“Have you talked to him?” she asked, the look on my face must have been answer enough

“You should, if you’re worried that he’s mad then work it out. If you both have question for each other, then ask. That’s how you can make this work, if you want to make this work” she didn’t say it in a mean way, but in a way a mother will tell you how to do something correctly

“I’m sorry about the wedding too, we already planned everything and I ruined it”

“Don’t worry about that, you can plan a perfect wedding again but there’s only a few chances you’ll find someone you want to do it with”

I didn’t stay long after that, after our little talk I went back to the city. I already called my parents telling them I was back and that I’ll probably stay with them for a while but for now I was over at Joy’s.

I decided to stop by a cafe for some late afternoon snacks, I reached out to get my mug to take a sip of my coffee, when my eyes went up I saw a pair of eyes already looking at me. 

At first I didn’t know if I should smile or wave or how to react at all, in the end I just shot the other person a smile to which they returned with a curt nod. 

Looking around the cafe, it was a bit packed so there weren’t any vacant table left. There was however a vacant seat infront of me. 

I quickly looked down at my phone then outside, just anywhere else to avoid the awkwardness. 

“Is this seat taken?” I hear someone ask, 

Taking a deep but subtle breath before turning to answer her, 

“No, go ahead”

“Thanks, I’m just waiting for my order”

“Sure, no problem” I answered Sejeong with a smile. 

I don’t even have it in me to be mad at her, well I don’t really have a reason to. If anything she should be mad at me. 

I heard her clear her throat before speaking again, “I didn’t know you were back”

“Yes, I just arrived yesterday”

“Ah, that’s why Joy was rushing out of her office” she said with a lighthearted chuckle. The two of them worked at the same company, that’s also why Joy was always the first person to tell me something about her even when I don’t ask. 

“She must’ve have been excited to have you back” she added

“How about you, how have you been?” I asked her, out of politeness and to fill th awkward silence

“Good, just keeping myself busy with work” 

There was this elephant in the room that we were both trying to avoid, she looks like she wanted to ask but she’s too nice and clearly doesn’t want to invade my personal space. But curiosity got the best of her, 

“Can I ask something?” Sejeong said, I looked at her and it didn’t look like she had any other ulterior motive. Just like everyone else she just wanted to know what happened. She just happened to be more involved with the other party that’s about to be mentioned. 

“Sure”

“Back then, did you know about the engagement? I mean when we were still in college?” that wasn’t the question I was expecting so it took me a few seconds before I could give her an answer

“No, I didn’t know”

“Did you know Doyoung liked you way before that?” now that was a big revelation, the look on my face was enough answer for her. 

She shot me a smile, no bitterness or anger behind it. Just a gentle smile. I can see why Doyoung liked her. 

But me?

“No, I didn’t”

“He did, I don’t think he was aware of it too. I know he was a weird way of showing he cares, he’s not very vocal or showy about it but he really does have a big heart. And believe it or not, he has the biggest soft spot for you” she said, the last part of her sentence made her chuckle

“I don’t... I don’t think I get it” I said still a bit confused, just then a waiter came with Sejeong’s order, after a quick thank you she turned back to me

“He used to talk about you all the time, he would nag about how you were not takin good care of yourself and he had to remind you about that all the time. How he worries if you ate in time or if you got back to your dorm before it’s too late. When we started to date, I could tell he was trying hard not be that way but I can tell”

I wanted to say sorry to her, I’m not sure what for but I just wanted to

“Sorry”

“Don’t be, you shouldn’t be. I knew what I was getting myself into. I liked him, and for second he thought he liked me too. I guess he liked my company, we’re better off friends anyways”

“I didn’t know about all of that. Still, I’m sorry you were caught up in all this mess” I told her, she just shot me a smile again

“I though I had a chance, I had this little glimmer of hope because I was dating him but that only further proved something I already knew. Something Doyoung himself was just too scared to admit”

“He said he liked you because you were so much like him. you saw him for who he was” I told her, the words Doyoung told me before

“He likes himself best when he’s with you, I only saw what he wanted to show me. The two of you, you’re like two parts of one whole. You know how the other one thinks, even without words. A word of advice, if you would have it, if you want to tell Doyoung something just tell him. He may be smart but he could dense something”

I laughed lightly at her statement, knowing exactly well what she meant. 

“Can’t say I didn’t know that”

“This was nice, talking to you” Sejeong said

“It is”

“Anyways, I will be going now. They must be looking for me at the office” we said our goodbyes. Then I was left alone again. 

This time with some new found knowledge. 

And it was only my second day back. It wasn’t even Four O’clock yet but it already feels like it’s been the longest day for me. 

Looking down at my now lukewarm coffee, I quickly chugged it down. Looking down at my phone I decided might as well make the most of my day, my next day already set in mind.

There are only a few moments in my life where I just say ‘screw it, I’ll do it’. I admit I’m not the type to think that way. I liked planning things beforehand, spontaneity isn’t my strongest trait. 

Which is why I’m kind of regretting my current location. 

I’m now standing outside Doyoung’s apartment, contemplating on every decision I made that led me here. Feeling a bit frustrated with myself, I let my head fall on the door.

I didn’t think this plan through, my momentary confidence was long gone. I didn’t take into account the fact that Doyoung would probably still be at his office, he might even pull an overtime. Waiting out here was starting to feel like a lost cause. 

Feeling defeated, I repeatedly banged my head on the door. Not enough to hurt me but enough to hopefully knock some sense into me.

When I was about to do it for the fourth time, my head didn’t land on the hard surface of the door. Instead it landed on something else. Looking up I saw a hand in between me and the door. 

My eyes stayed on the hand, already knowing who it was. 

“Are you trying to hurt yourself or trying to finally knock some sense into your pretty little head?” I deserve that, I thought

“Did you just call me pretty?” I asked, finally turning to look at him. It wasn’t the time to joke around but I couldn’t help but say it.

Doyoung looked the same but also he looked better. I don’t if it’s because I haven’t seen him in a year but he looked better. Not that he looked bad before, I just can’t point it out but something about him seems different

“It wasn’t a compliment” he said with a straight face. 

Okay, I deserve that one too. He does have every right to be mad at me. 

“I’m sure there’s one in there somewhere” I mumbled, stepping away from the door so I wasn’t blocking his way. His gaze stayed on me for a few seconds before he made his way to the door. 

I was ready to have it slammed on my face but instead he turned back to face me

“I’m assuming you’re here because you have something to say”

“Only if you actually want to listen”

He didn’t say anything for a while, his gaze fell on the floor then back to me. It was like he was deciding whether he should let me in or not. To be honest I would absolutely understand if he wanted nothing to do with me.

“You have a year worth of explaining to do, I think I can spare some time”

[traumatizedkids]

Some fun facts, info and More about the S3 and the comic in general.

 I made this long ago with the S2 hiatus, so i decided to do the same again with new funfacts, and some new info about S3 (without going into spoilers of course, i hope you guys like it)

As you can notice, the new profile cards has a section called Logo, those logos are a new thing i added to the comic, What’s the purpose? They are made for pannels were the character’s talk but they are not in scene, this is an example from the new season:

When i announced King in Black i didn’t have almost any plans for the next issues, but i liked the Agony plot so i decided to make the story about that.

The Scene were Alec uses Jake as a Bat is a reference to the Blackbird Epilogue were it’s said Jake turns into a Bat of Intention releasing Andrew’s soul.

I wanted to elaborate more the scene were Jake is awakened from the illusion, but it was too many pages and i had to use the Bro thing, i am sorry if it was Lame, for me, at least it is.

When Alec met Hazel, i had plans to explain Alec dad’s were already dead, but i decided to not add that scene.

Alex (Hazel’s daughter) is 10, and She’s a Demi-Girl, 

The reason why i started to read Disney Chills was because i wanted to find new traumatized kids from a different media than the ones i already use.

In the moment i read Planet of Symbiotes: Toxin i knew Bren has to be in the team.

Millie was intended to appear revived for a Symbiote after KIB, but i discarded that because we don’t really know her fate and there’s chances she could came back in FF epilogues.

Hazel works as a Lawyer

I want to make season 3 more separate from FNAF, because this comic was turning into a FNAF comic more than a crossover.

The Bonnles came from a Joke i made long ago on Twitter

I suffered a lot in season 2 because i really wanted to use Dylan, but the idea of a Time skip was soo good to not use it, Return of the Kids was totally my fav moment.

Oswald’s Scar plot from Familiar Rabits is gonna come back on the Summer Special.

Traumatized Kids Island is gonna be 10 episodes long i dunno if it’s gonna be Weekly or every 2 days, i have to think that.

Sora Ogami was a character i loved to add and i hope to use it more in future episodes.

I already told that, i changed the Henry’s hairstyles to make them inspired in the actor Jared Gilmoire, the one who interprets Henry in Once upon a Time.

The real name of this comic is: Niños Traumados.

Not gonna lie, i want to add Sleeper in this comic, but i don’t know what happened with him in comics, i am worried :(

The reason i am redesinging some characters is to gave them a personal touch (and because their shows are over)

Dipper and Mabel were requested a lots of times, i hope to use them more on season 3 now i rewatched the show since years.

I dunno if someone get it, but this is a reference to Kingdom Hearts:

I have plans to do a reference to the original trilogy of FNAF Books.

I started this blog because an user called Puffy started to reblog the first 3 episodes saying she was enjoying them, i am very grateful for all her suppor and i love her reblogs, thank you so much.

This also goes for Hide, i dunno if you’re reading this, but thanks for all your support, i love to have you here.

Bren Waters and Dylan Brock are gonna be gooooood friends.

I think it’s pretty obvious, this is an AU, so i take some creative liberties for some designs and relationships, i still use the actual stories from the characters, but some things like Normie and Dylan friendship (who in comics stopped being friends in a comic that we don’t even know if it’s canon) are changed.

In King In Black 3 in the Adults plan i had plans to introduce the crystal gems, but i thought Connie would be a better idea so i could introduce her.

Yeah, Connie is gonna come back, also she accepted Steven proposal after Steven got corrupted again, 

There’s gonna be more adults on the Season 3

Not gonna told who, but one of the Founders members of the Meeting has appeared on one episode, not gonna tell wich.

Oswald loves more Springmatt than the Bonnles.

At first i didn’t wanted to confirm Chuck and Sam relationship, but then i was like: Why not?

Season 3 is ubicated AFTER The cliffs epilogue, but BEFORE Gumdrop Angel epilogue.

I confirmed 4 new kids, but i don’t deny maybe new kids would join in the future, someone wants to talk about dinosaurs?

What Oswald says about the name is already taken in KIB 1 is a reference about the fact there’s already a Symbiote called Agony.

At first i had plans to make art-trades with people to have variants of King in Black with another artist but i wasn’t brave enough.

I want to apologize about my shitty english lmao, sometimes i mess up the translation.

If you’re still reading this reblog with a #Yes

ok thanks, i aprecciate that.

sorry for this being so long lmao

For the people who read Disney Chills (and the people i hope i introduced to them like that ask someone sent me) i am aware about the Second Star to the Fright ending, but i wanted to use Barrie anyway, i love that boy.

Not gonna lie, i would love if someone makes a fanart or a dub of this series, if someone wanted to but was afraid to ask, you can, don’t be shy.

For the people who doesn’t knows, i am making an Into the Pit Graphic novel and a Dylan and Normie Graphic Novel, this comic is helping me to practice with Panel composition.

This is the first Splashpage i ever made, and i am very proud of it, i hope to make more on the future:

Goblin symbiote design was inspired in the Goblin Childe and the colors of the green goblin.

Some kids like Oswald are not going to have a Profile Card yet, that’s because Season 3 spoilers.

Im doing an Animatic about Dylan in the other Earth talking to Codex, at first it was a personal project, but i decided to add it to the traumatized Kids Canon.

When Robin is with the Cape on is because i am lazy to draw the body, sorry, i am human too lol.

I am sad no one got it, but that answer about the meeting room and a cat of the founder members was a Doraemon reference, yes, i confirm it, Nobita Nobi is in the 80s meeting.

At first i had plans to introduce Billy and Tommy into S3 but then for obvious reasons i didn’t (But i still can, maybe someday)

Steven’s weeding is gonna be a S3 arc, and it’s gonna be the last time we are gonna see Steven, it’s hard for me, but some kids have to leave in order to other to enter.

Welp i think i gave so many facts, this is a long list, i dunno if people is gonna fully read them, but if you did, thanks a lot for your interest.

Soon i will share more things in this acc, have a good summer.

[adellovesrowan]

RSA- I forgot about Adel’s phobia. If it’s any consolation, I’m afraid of most bugs (literally every bug except bees). JT has nosophobia (the fear of disease) so flu season is an absolute nightmare for her. When you mentioned Cherry and Adel’s similarities you said at the end “ they both have a thing for the teachers pet good girl nerds”? 👀 Wait is Cherry wlw as well? Who exactly does she have a thing for? She shares a favorite color (purple) w JT. Also I’d love to hear indo hcs for Dian 🥺

HSHSJS UR SO VALID bugs are scary lmao. and ohhhh poor jt😭 KFHAKJDKSJ i cant say, its a “trust me on this” situation😌 but yes cherrys a wlw !! ohhhh yes purple gang !! KDJKAJF ok ok well some dian hcs thats been in my mind for some time. if dian were a hogwarts student, he would be a gryffindor. shes a fighter and hardly ever gives up. also he curses like a sailor and a lot of times various indo curses make their way in and its rly unnerving when u dont know what they mean JDJKAJD. also dian calling her friends indo terms of endearment🥺 like abang / bang / bung ( brother ), mbak / neng ( sister ), kawan / kawanku ( friend / my friend ), etc. also him wearing batik would be chefs kiss🥺 hdhdhdhhd i love dian thank u

RSA- sometimes Thea gets mistaken for a lobosca-kim since she’s got white hair and pale skin like Chiara plus black eyes. I like to think Chiara is tall so Thea looks like her in that regard as well but no she’s not related to any of them. She also follows the wolf trend of obvious names. Her full name influenced her design since Galatea means “milk white” and in the myth, Galatea was originally a statue. Wait Thea as an art model for Badeea’s classes 🥺 oh my god she’d be so pretty <3

HDHDHSHDH OH I LOVE THAT ! pleaseeee thea is sooo pretty🥺🥺

RSA- the kids tried burying Dian in the sand once. It did not work for obvious reasons. Also what if Mina added violets or cherry blossoms to Cherry’s hair? Idk what Mina’s favorite flower is but her favorite fruit is mangoes bc they’re the first thing she knew how to grow. She grew other stuff before that but it was out of her control and wouldn’t last too long. JT’s favorite flowers are sunflowers so Mina grows them on her mom’s birthday and Mother’s Day. Mina growing plants when she’s bored.

LMAOOOABDJFBA OHMYGOD dumbass children. AAAAAHH HELLO THATS SO CUTE🥺🥺 MANGO BEING MINAS FAV IS SOO CUTE WTF. ohhhh minas so cute she loves jt so much🥺

RSA- I mentioned the former existence of Skyler and the angel au reminded me of her bc she had blue wings. So what if after the lines between demons and angels have been blurred there are kids with more colorful wings. It does make it more dangerous since people would be able to tell that they’re half demon half angel instead of just a fallen angel or demon. Bianca being homeschooled was cut out since her mom already teaches at a school in this au plus there’s not the ch 18 trauma

OHHHHH half demon half angel skyler !! 🥺 and YA so glad ch 18 wasnt actually real🙄😩

RSA- Rowan passing her scarf down to Cherry 🥺. Cherry wearing it every year during the winter and showing it to her friends. Finn absolutely loves it. When did cherry get interested in baking? Baby cherry with her parents 🥺. When Mina was a baby, JT refused to let anyone besides herself and thistle hold Mina for the first few months. Penny, Tonks, and Chiara convinced JT to let them watch Mina so that Mina’s parents could take a break. It was the least they could do for their old roommate.

OOOOO THATS SO CUTE i need to draw that sometime. id say she tried baking when she was around five years old ! with help ofc. HEYDHSHDHHD jt is very protective of baby mina omgg🥺🥺 god bless the hufflepuffs watching over the baby

RSA- I’m glad you like the idea of brown eyed haywoods. I remember I sent in an ask to a different person about picturing Penny with brown eyes and someone reblogged that with an edit of brown eyed Penny. I was going to include a link to that in this ask but that didn’t work. (The edit was by theatricalasshole. He did a great job on it). Also I saw the tags in the last post and I’m so sorry about sending so many asks!! I would say it won’t happen again but I never shut up so that’d be a lie.

YESSSS brown eyed haywoods are beautiful !! and NOOOO DONT WORRY DHDHDHD i dont mind getting lots of asks but its just taking me so long to answer bc i get distracted so easily and i didnt want to keep u waiting😭

RSA- the school in the early years with Rowan as the only teacher and twenty students like those schoolhouses in the olden days. We both know the school gets bigger as more people teach/study there but the small, cozy nature of the early years. Students growing up and some of them teaching at the school when they’re adults. Students and teachers having positive memories of the school after they graduate or retire. Wait Rowan in dark academia aesthetic/ fashion 👀

SCREAMS the early years sounds so good ohh its so cozy. its what they deserve😩 some good safe education. and YEEEEESS WE LOVE TJAT A LOT

RSA- I’m looking through my old asks and I’ve sent over twenty ( it’s more than that the ones that were bunched together were counted as one each) so thanks for listening to all this, it’s totally understandable if you don’t remember something. Hell I have a bad memory too. I do like reading your responses to the different asks they’re v thoughtful. Do you have a favorite character or idea or whatever from this au bc if so I could come up with more hcs about them?

HDHDHHDHSHD thank u for understanding and YAAA SAME. DHSHHS im glad u like my responses lmao i try to engage with everything u said bc theyre all good takes !! well we all KNOW who my fav character is ( its rowan in case it wasnt obvious LMAO ) but i rly like hearing ab whoever u want to talk about !!

RSA- so this is gonna be the last of this specific bunch of asks bc I don’t have that many ideas rn. Mara w bat wings. Chiara has taken in at least two Wolf cubs (borf and Finn) so I feel like she’s the type to take in strays. Dian gets seniority amongst her roommates since she’s older than their parents (he lived between 1956-1970, so he died when he was fourteen). This is a joke but Ebony from my immortal as one of the music teachers. She bonds with Mara bc they’re vampires (half for Mara)

mara w bat wings yes !!! HEUDUEHHS i love that somuch for chiara. OHHH POOR BABY😭 now i have the hc that dian used to be friends with adels mom, cordelia ( shes indonesian ! ofc i had to make adel half indo LMAO ). or maybe dian and delia are related who knows😩 i think itd be funny if they were related bc then adel, an adult now, would see dian, a fourteen year old ghost, and realize hes related to delia and be like bloody hell youre my auncle. SJBDNDHDHJS i just think its rly funny LMAO.

NOOOOOOOOOO WHY IS EBONY HEREE DJFKAKFNND ohmyGODD😭😭 HEHDUDHSHDHJSHRJEJ ohmygdo but anyway. good for mara😌

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

I love Fairy Tale AUs! And your sleeping beauty one was soo great! Could I request a Snow White AU with yandere EvilQueen!Diavolo x snow white reader x yandere prince!Bruno? Unless that’s too weird, thanks anyway!

Aww thanks

I'm going to upload this in two parts, as well as a few other requests I got but here you go

Fairest of them all pt1

(yandere Diavolo and Bruno X Female Reader)

Warning: mindbreak

"oh my dear... To soon marry the fairest in the land is nothing short of a dream come true" your captor chuckled as he pulled you closer by your leash. You simply let out a groan in pain.

"Yes my king... I've dreamt of marrying you for my whole life" you croaked to the the man with many title's The evil king, The crimson king, emperor crimson but he preferred that you called him by his real name, Diavolo.

You were convinced that you were made for him, you never knew why you ever testified against it to begin with. It was a sick form of Stockholm syndrome that you had developed after weeks of starvation in a cold cell but you now believed that you were the one at fault and not your captor.

"My love..." He cooed before grabbing out a knife, causing you to cower back.

"Don't be afraid, this is just to ensure that we'll be together forever" he explained to make you comply

"Now just lay down" he said and like an obedient dog you laid down on your back as the male began to strip you down.

He wanted to make sure that the fairest in the land was his and his alone, and what better then to litter you with scars... He intended to make sure that he'd be the only one in the world to see you as beautiful.

Slowly the pink haired male graze the blade against your body.

"Where oh where should I mark you first?" he chirped however you didn't respond, you were there with him but also far away in your own delusions. You loved Diavolo but you didn't want this.

"Maybe I'll carve my name into your stomach, that will let any man who tries to have their way with you know who you belong to" he said as he pressed the blade against your stomach, blood soon appeared like little red pearls as it pierced your skin. Tears formed in your eyes as you felt the harsh sting but you refused to let him hear your screams in pain, you were his compliant little doll after all.

He soon began to carve each little letter in his name nearly into your skin. You hicuped lightly as you tried to deny the pain until he finished but it almost felt like a burn as you continued to deny until you could hold it no longer. You screamed and cried but you did not dare to thrash in his grasp.

"My dear... You have taken it so well, just a little longer and it will be over" he cooed before kissing your forehead and carving the last letter.

He looked down at his name carved into your skin like it was a fine work of art.

"My beautiful girl, how you make me so happy" he cooed.

🍎🍎🍎

Bruno hated king Diavolo like many others in the his kingdom but as a prince he was obligated to attend  the soirèe that King Diavolo had organised. As he arrived he was given a mask from one of the servants. Inside he saw all of the luxuries that the king claimed for himself over the well being of his citizens.

Every masked attendee was of a higher status, generals, aristocrats, political figures or royalty. Many chatted away with drinks in hand or stood to admire all the works of art displayed around the palace but amongst all the crowd of masked stranger one stood out to the ravenette prince. A young (H/C) female who wore a black dress with red lace and a red mask with a white diamond pattern and black feathers.

The male approached her and became entranced by her beauty but soon it turned into disgust as the realised the golden bangles on her wrists were actually a pair of handcuffs, the golden chain draped along the ground and her elegant choker did not have ivory or jewels but another chain link which made it look more like a dog leash then a piece of jewelry.

Without a doubt the lady was a unwilling wife, not even a cocubine, just a slave. Yet the male still dared to speak to the young lady who's (E/C) eyes were hazy and lifeless.

"It's a wonderful night is it not?" Bruno asked in an attempt to start a conversation with you.

"Yes" you replied in a hushed tone.

"My name is Bruno Bucciallati and I am the prince of Bergian" he introduced himself with bow, you looked around before you spoke but we're quickly silenced by the rattle of your chains.

"Oh Prince Bucciallati it seems like years since I last saw you" a man in a similar mask to yours spoke to him in a voice of mocking delight.

"...and I see you have met my fianceé (Y/n)" he smiled as he wrapped his arms around you.

"Diavolo" you almost sung in delight, the life seemed to return to your eyes as you looked at him.

"You see Bruno my beautiful girl was considered as a treasure to here kingdom... They called her Snow White because she was the only child to ever be born alive on the first day of snow... They saw her as a blessing" Diavolo explained.

"they also saw great beauty in her... She was adopted into the royal bloodline and many saw her as a muse, many wrote songs and poems, many created paintings and sculptures to immortalize her beauty... Many all over the world claimed that she was the fairest of them all" he continued to brag, he had no shame in telling other of you like you were another trophy in his collection... You were simply another prize he had claimed from another conquered kingdom.

Bruno felt his blood boil, he knew what he thought of you all to well but he could only bite his tongue. You were a poor innocent girl that had been brainwashed into loving such a evil and cruel man. On the other had Diavolo knew that Bruno was already falling in love with you. He knew that you had a way of making people fall in love with you, even if it wasn't intentional.

A servant quickly broke the conversation between the King and Prince.

"Your majesty, the Huntsman of the east has arrived and is ready to speak with you" he whispered in Diavolo's ear, just loud enough for only him to hear.

"Take him to the drawing room on the west wing, I will meet him there" he ordered and the servant replied before leaving.

"I'm sorry Bruno but our reunion must come to an end, I have a few personal matters to attend to but I'm sure my dear (Y/n) is willing to keep you entertained until I return" Diavolo spoke as he handed Bruno the end of your chain before swiftly disappearing into the crowd as an orchestra hummed to life.

"Would you care to dance?" Bruno asked and you nodded in response as he took your gloved hand. As he lead you to the to the dance floor. He held you by the waist with his left arm while holding your hand with his right  as he gently took the lead of the waltz.

You tried your hardest to look away from the male, even if Diavolo had given you the permission to be with this stranger it still felt just as scandalous as if he hadn't.

"Have you ever done the waltz before?" Bruno asked.

"Yes... With my adoptive brother, but those times are long gone" you told him like your brother had died years ago but in reality it had only been a few weeks since he held you in his dying arm as you cried in fear and uncertainty.

And while you danced the night away Diavolo made his way to the drawing room. He open the door to see a masked man who's hair was as white as snow and pupils as red as blood amongst the deep black of his scelra.

"You requested my services your majesty?" He asked.

"Yes I did Risotto Nero, I have heard so much about you... I've been told that you are the best Huntsman in the land" he explained before sitting down, Risotto stood silently as he watched the king.

"I've heard you killed thousands... Men, women and monsters of many kinds, some tell me you have even slain a dragon" the king continued.

"However the job in which I'm tasking you with probably the easiest you've ever received"

"And that is?" Risotto asked.

"You see... I am to marry in a few weeks time however my future wife was a very persistent woman at first, she use to try to escape me... Luckily that has come to an end" he explained.

"I will have my guards take her to the forest tomorrow, they will then leave her there alone and that is where you come in. I want you to scare her, cut her up a little bit if you so desire. I want you to scare her to the point where she'll never leave my side" Diavolo concluded.

"And how much will you pay me?" The tall man asked.

"Oh so demanding... Well my offer is three bags of silver-"

"You expect me to do your dirty work for three bags of silver, it's an insult!" Risotto cut the king off with a scowl.

"A bargainer... Well maybe I could up it to five" Diavolo said but the male simply turn his back and headed towards the door.

"And a bag of precious jewels..." Diavolo added and Risotto turned back towards him.

"Will you take my offer now?" Diavolo asked and Risotto nodded in approval.

"Alright the it's set, I will have my servants show you to a room to stay in until the time comes.

🍎🍎🍎

"Where are you taking me?" You asked the guards.

"The king has ordered us to take you to the forest, he has a surprise waiting for you" one of the guards replied. Your conversation attracted the attention of Prince Bruno however soon his attention had shifted to the other hall in which was odd, surely the king would accompany his fianceé for such a thing.

Bruno silently stalked Diavolo around the castle until he saw him go through a secret passage. Bruno carefully followed, hiding behind any corner until Diavolo entered a small room with only a mirror inside, however the mirror did not reflect Diavolo but instead a man with long brown hair and deep red eyes. Bruno peered from behind the corner and watched.

"Hmm it seems you've let your little dove go, the question now is will she return?" The man in the mirror asked.

"I'm certain she will Illusio" Diavolo replied.

"You must be careful thou, if you seek to break the girl further she may just shatter like China... After all you can only break something so many times before it can no longer be fixed" the male chuckled.

"I'll have no need to break her again after this... Once the Huntsman of the east has done his job, I will no longer have to worry about such" Diavolo stated in a cold tone which shocked Bruno, may the king have possibly lost interest in the young lady and wanted to kill her off.

Bruno quickly ran away in search of you, hoping to catch you in time before the huntsman did. He ran though the castle and took one of the swords on display as he exited.

🍎🍎🍎

"Hello? Where did everyone go?" You called out as you realised that the guards had disappeared.

"Is anyone here" you called out again as anxiety built inside of you, had Diavolo found you no long of interest? Had he sent you to be eaten by wolves?

No it couldn't possibly be, Diavolo would come. You just had to wait and so you did. You waited with not a single word until you heard footsteps slowly approach.

"Diavo-" you called out as you turned your head only to see someone else.

[spnreactions]

15x18: Despair

Ahhhhh. 

Alright guys. I’m so pumped, but also so scared, because I couldn’t watch it live, and my mom and I are about to watch it on the app, but all of my friends sent me spoiler free reactions and I’m kind of freaking out now that I know how much they were dying. 

BUT ANYWAYS. 

Let’s do this. 

WAIT WAIT WAIT! 

That...that parallel...IS CAS GONNA FINALLY TELL THEM ABOUT HIS DEAL??!! 

MY POOR BABY AHHHH!!!! 

HE BETTER BE OKAY!!!! 

ARE THEY GONNA SHOW THE SPEECH??!! 

Oh boo. They didn’t show the speech. 

STOOOOOP! 

JUST RESOLVE IT ALREADY!! 

“Now.” 

Cas omg that’s not gonna help. I love you and I know you’re panicking, but no. That’s like when I’m having an anxiety attack and people are like “just calm down”. But anyways. 

Dean is panicking again OMG!! It’s nice to see him openly caring about his son again! <3 <3 <3 

I’m still a little upset with him, but that’s a good start. 

Jack noooo baby! We’re not doing that! 

Awww baby. :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

“Don’t let me hurt you.” I’M ALREADY ABOUT TO CRY OH MY GOD! :’( :’( 

“We’re not giving up on you.” THERE’S THE DEAN I KNOW AND LOVE!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

BILLIE GO AWAY!!! 

Okay actually save Jack. 

But also SHUT UP! 

Yeah? And? 

HEY! NOT NICE!! 

It was SAVED because of them! Shut up! 

Cas is so desperate omg. :’( :’( :’( :’( 

UMMMMMMM

WHERE DID HE GO??!! 

They’re all so worried ahhhh.

IS THAT THE EMPTY??!! 

Noooooo no no no no. 

That’s bad. 

No likey. 

..........

...........!!!!

NO!!!

NO NO NO!!! 

PLEASE TELL ME THAT WASN’T REAL!!! 

PLEASE TELL ME THEY’RE GONNA FIX THAT!! 

I WASN’T EXPECTING THAT SO SOON NO!!! 

Their faces. :’( :’( :’(

...maybe? That’s a good thing, right? RIGHT?! 

God, I hate her so much, but da** Lisa Berry is good at playing the villain. 

Really? WONDER WHY!! 

Haha me too Dean. 

...they keep saying “not without being summoned” in regards to the Empty and it’s making me nervous. 

...oh. 

Frick. 

Just give it back if it means getting Jack back. 

TELL HER OFF SAM!! 

Ugh. Her sass is so good and I hate it but I love it. 

BILLIE SCREW YOU!!! 

LEAVE THEM ALONE!! JUST LET OUR FAMILY BE HAPPY!!! 

OH THANK GOD HE’S ALIVE!! 

I WAS HOPING!! 

And I kind of figured, but a part of me was nervous, okay? 

BABY! <3 <3 <3 

...oh no. 

Big uh-oh. 

BABY RUN!!! 

I DON’T KNOW WHERE, BUT RUN!!! 

RUN!!! 

RUN RUN RUN!!! 

HURRY UP BOYS!!!

JACK IS IN DANGER HURRY THE FRICK UP!!! 

HA!!! 

YAAAAS SAM!!! 

We be petty in this house. 

...okay AND??!! 

YAAAASSSS DEAN!!! I LOVE MY PROTECTIVE DAD DEAN AGAIN YAAAAAY!!!! 

NO NO NO NO NOOOO! LEAVE MY BABY ALONE!!! 

STOP IT!!! 

BILLIE HURRY UP!!! 

“Interesting”??? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??!! 

OH THANK GOD! 

...that was close. 

Ummm...no. 

We’re not doing that. 

YAAAAASSSSSSS DEAN!!!! 

THAT’S MY BABY!!!! 

THAT’S THE DEAN I KNOW AND LOVE!!! I’VE MISSED YOU!!! 

YOU ARE OFFICIALLY FORGIVEN DEAN WINCHESTER!!! 

YOU ARE BACK TO SECOND FAVORITE FOR THAT MOVE RIGHT THERE!!! 

FREAKING YES!!! 

I LOVE THIS FAMILY!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

Awww...Jack. :’( 

Cas running right over to him. 

Most of Cas’s lines so far have been “Jack” oof. XD :’( <3 <3 <3 

Okay so...this is...kind of a good thing, right? Like, obviously, Billie is still an issue, and obviously, Chuck is still an issue, but the FAMILY is TOGETHER again!! This is GOOD!! Why are my friends so upset about this episode?? What could possibly happen? (Anything. Anything could happen. Why would I even ask that?) 

Wow. That’s an awesome camera shot.  <3 

The smoothness of that omg I love them.  

YES DEAN!!! 

I FORGIVE YOU!! SAM FORGIVES YOU!!! <3 <3 <3 

ALL BETTER!!! I FORGIVE EVERYONE!! THIS IS GOOD!! <3 <3 <3 

(I mean, he still kind of owes Jack an apology, but, like, based on his character, everything he just did for Jack was his biggest way of saying sorry. <3 <3) 

HE SNAPPED OUT OF IT BECAUSE OF YOU SAM! 

Also it’s true. 

OMG EVEN BETTER CAMERA SHOT NOW THAT THEY’RE BOTH IN IT!! <3 <3 <3 <3 

It’s okay! Because YOU GUYS are the heavy hitters! 

“To somehow.” <3 <3 <3 <3 

THAT SHOT! I CAN’T GET OVER IT!! <3 <3 <3 

...hoh boy. 

Billie is MAAAD. 

...no likey. 

AHHHH. 

HAVE I MENTIONED LISA BERRY IS REALLY GOOD AT PLAYING THE VILLAIN??!! 

CAUSE SHE’S REALLY GOOD AT PLAYING THE VILLAIN!!

OMG MY GIIIIIRL!!! <3 <3 <3 

AWWW!! SHE FOUND A GIRLFRIEND!!! 

THIS IS SO CUTE OMG!!! 

I know it’s AU!Charlie, but STILL!! <3 <3 <3 

“Like a date.” A date only hunters could do lol. 

I love it. <3 <3 

They’re the cutest omg. <3 <3 

“Rubbery trash eggs.” I LOVE HER!! XD XD <3 <3 

...what the...

...did she just...vanish?? 

....???? 

NOOO POOR CHARLIE!! She finally had another relationship! GOD DA**IT!! 

...poor Charlie. :’( :’( :’( 

I remember Stevie from the second episode of this season. I didn’t remember her name though. 

Awww...Charlie. 

...they don’t seem that surprised. Uh-oh...

...poor Charlie. :’( :’( :’( :’( 

SHE DESERVES A GOOD LIFE GOSH DARNAT!! 

Awww... <3 <3 

MY BABY LOOKS SO SAD!!! 

OMG THAT BANTER WAS ADORABLE!! XD XD <3 <3 <3 

PROMO PIC!! THESE ADORABLE LITTLE BOIS!! <3 <3 <3 

Awww...baby. :’( :’( :’( 

Baby it’s okay. We’d rather have you here, we promise. 

He’s choking up oh my goodness Alex how dare you be such a good actor. 

BABY YOU’RE HERE FOR US!! YOU’RE HERE FOR YOUR FAMILY!! <3 <3 

YAAAASSS CAS!!! 

“We care about you because you’re you.” OH MY GOD I’M GONNA CRY THAT’S SUCH A GOOD LINE!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 

Jack that should’ve made you smile so much more than it did please stop beating yourself up you deserve happiness and love and they’re giving it to you because they love you gosh darnat. :’( <3 

...awww...

YOU CAN BE THERE!! THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS!! 

AWWW!!! :’( :’( :’( 

“Me too.” AND THEN WITH THE HAND ON THE SHOULDER AHHH!!! <3 <3 <3 

They need to hug. 

Hug please. 

Dangat. 

That’s okay. I’ll still take that. Good scene. 

HA!

Well, okay, Sam. Don’t sugarcoat it. 

Okay but, like, gotta be honest...I don’t think it’s Billie. Cause...these people are vanishing just like Becky did...like Chuck made her. 

Charlie... :’( :’( :’( :’( 

Charlie no! It’s not like that. 

:’( :’( :’( :’( :’( 

...no likey. 

NO NO NO NO NOOOO!!! 

She has to be fine. 

GO GO GO!!!

My ending has Sam ending up with Eileen at the end. She better not be dead. 

Oh thank goodness. That’s a text thread. Good. 

But, like...if people are vanishing, what do they do? How do they protect her? 

....it’s gonna stop isn’t it.

FRICK!!

NO NO NO NO NO!!!

NO!!!

DA**IT!!!

IS THIS GONNA KEEP HAPPENING??!! 

IS THIS WHAT MY FRIENDS WERE TALKING ABOUT??!! 

THE WAY DEAN JUST REVS IT AND SPEEDS UP OMG. <3 <3 <3 <3 

Please Eileen...please let it be a fluke. 

...she’s not standing there. 

It’s not a fluke. :’( :’( :’( :’( 

HER BACKGROUND IS SAM OH MY GOD!! 

THEY WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER!! :’( :’( <3 <3 <3 <3 

GOD DA**IT SUPERNATURAL!! :’( :’( :’( :’( 

...poor Sam. :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( 

Dean’s little supportive “Sammy” oh my god. 

Oh my god Sam. :’( :’( :’( :’( 

I’m crying already ahhh. :’( :’( :’( 

Sam you’re so strong omg you poor thing. :’( :’( :’( 

HE DESERVES A GOOD LIFE TOO GOSH DARNAT!!

WAIT NO!! DON’T SPLIT THE PARTY!! BAD THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN WHEN YOU SPLIT THE PARTY!!! 

Okay that’s awesome though. 

But also don’t split the party. 

Well frick. 

OOH!! DOES THIS MEAN WE’RE GONNA GET SOME GOOD OLD DEAN AND CAS CONTENT? CAUSE THAT’S BEEN LACKING RECENTLY! 

Oh frick. Something is SOO gonna go wrong, with a hug like that. 

But also DEAN GIVING HIS BRO A SUPPORTIVE HUG OMG I LOVE IT!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

And Sam just leaning into it because he totally needs it but he’s trying not to break down but also that’s such a beautiful, subtle thing and I love it. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

That little look and nod just made a tear slip down my cheek (as if I wasn’t already blurry-eyed and crying). 

“Let’s go reap a reaper.” PROMO LINE!! <3 <3 <3 <3 

DONNA!! <3 <3 <3 <3 

Sam being a protective dad and being distracted by checking in on his son I love it. <3 <3 

I love my three protective dads in this it’s adorable. 

DUDE!!! 

JACK DRIVE BABY!!! 

OMG SAM I LOVE YOU FOR DOING THAT!!! 

HE’S DOING WHAT HE KNOWS WILL DISTRACT HIM AND CHEER HIM UP BECAUSE IT’S WHAT HE DID WITH DEAN AND GIVES HIM SOMETHING TO DO OMG IT’S SO CUTE I LOVE IT!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 

Whoa. That music change. That was intense. 

NICE SHOT OF DEAN!! <3 <3 <3 <3 

GO DEAN AND CAS GO! 

“Hiya kid.” “Hey.” So soft omg. <3 <3 <3 <3 

Awww baby... 

THAT HUG!!! 

IT WAS IN THE PROMO!!! 

AWWW DONNA!!! :’( :’( :’( <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

THEY BETTER BE OKAY!!! 

I’M GONNA BE REALLY MAD IF THEY’RE NOT OKAY!!! 

“Anything you need.” I freaking love Donna. She’s such an under-appreciated character. <3 <3 

MY GIRL! <3 <3 

YAAAASSS CHARLIE!! <3 <3 <3 

Poor thing...

But also I love you and I’m proud of you. 

God all of my favorite characters are suffering and losing so much I hate it. :’( :’( :’( :’( 

JUST LIKE BACK IN S14!!! 

Ha! Bobby omg. XD XD 

No. 

It probably won’t given our luck. 

Awww Sam.... :’( 

...there are kids in there. 

...which definitely means it isn’t gonna work. 

But I’m gonna be optimistic and let myself get crushed anyways. 

Awww Donna.... 

Awww Jack..... :’( 

UMMMMMM

....what?? 

What just happened?? 

That is so not cool. 

That is completely against everything Jack is what? 

No. 

Not okay. 

Don’t tell me he destroys anything he touches now. 

I don’t know how that would’ve happened. 

But no. 

....uh oh. 

That’s too easy. 

Run boys. 

OH MY GOD DID SHE JUST--

OH MY GOD SHE JUST--

“Hello boys.” HOLY FRICK I’M WHEEZING HOW DARE SHE MAKE ME LAUGH!! XD XD 

HA! 

GET HER DEAN! 

But also run because this is too easy. 

EEEEEE!! I DIG A BADA** DEAN!!! 

God she’s such a good villain, but also screw you Billie!! 

PROMO SCENE!!! 

DEAN HURRY!!!! 

YES!!!!

GO DEAN!!!!

GET HER!!!

IT’S CHUCK!!! 

I FREAKING KNEW IT!!! 

...dangat. 

We can’t do anything about that....

PROMO SCENE!!

SYMBOLS ARE GONNA LIGHT UP! 

YEP! I WAS RIGHT! 

I over-analyze those promos way too much lol. 

Wait...for what? 

It has to be! 

NOOOO. No likey. 

FRICK! 

DANGAT! 

I KNEW IT! 

NO NO NOOOO!!! 

OH MY GOD NO! 

THIS WAS IN THE PROMO! 

CHARLIE NOOOOO!!!! :’( :’( :’( 

BOBBY. NO!!!!

WE’RE LOSING EVERYBODY NOOO!!!

Oh no. 

No no no no no. 

Not Donna. 

Don’t you dare. 

Tell me it’s not true. 

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( 

HA! 

WELL TAKE THAT BILLIE!! 

ATTABOY DEAN!!! 

Wait nooooooo. 

That’s bad! 

Nope nope nope. 

Run you two. 

OMG that little moment. 

Cas stepped protectively in front of Dean, and then Dean immediately pulled him back and out of harms way. <3 <3 <3 

PROMO! 

BILLIE IS SCARY AHHH!! 

RUN YOU GUYS!!! 

Good call. 

But also how do you run from a cosmic entity??

Oh my god...

Jack’s face... 

Sam’s face...

:’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( 

DOES THIS MEAN JODY AND THE GIRLS ARE GONE TOO??!! 

OH GOD I DON’T WANNA THINK ABOUT THAT. 

Dean talking to himself. <3 

HEY!!!

STOP THAT!!! 

PROTECTIVE CAS! <3 <3 <3 <3 

BILLIE GO AWAY!!! NO ONE LIKES YOU!! 

SCREW YOU BILLIE!!! 

YEAH IT DOES, AND IT BETTER F**ING STAY THAT WAY!!! 

HA! 

YES CAS! WAY TO GET HIM OUT OF THERE! <3 <3 <3 

“I’ve got you.” <3 <3 <3 <3 

PROMO!

No. 

It’s never time. 

Shut up Billie. 

NO! 

LEAVE THEM ALONE! 

YES CAS!! 

SO PROTECTIVE I LOVE IT!! <3 <3 <3 <3 

YES CAS!!! WAY TO GO YOU AMAZING ANGEL YOU!!! 

...uh oh. 

PROMO! 

....no likey. 

Come on you two...you can do this. 

YES CAS! <3 

Dean...don’t do that to yourself. :’( :’( :’( :’( 

Not now baby. We need you. You need to be strong. You can do this. 

Awww Dean. :’( :’( :’( :’( 

I feel a big emotional scene coming. 

PROMO OMG NOOO! 

Dean honey. :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( 

Dean. :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( 

Cas’s look...

Dean’s so sad. :’( :’( :’( 

CAS HAS AN IDEA!!! 

The Empty??

Oh wait...

Is he...

HE’S GONNA TELL HIM!!

WAIT!!

WAIT HOLD ON A SECOND!!

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING CAS??!!

Dean’s face...

..........!!!!!

WAIT A MINUTE!!

WAIT!

A!

MINUTE!!

IS THIS DESTIEL??!!

IS! THIS?! DESTIEL?! 

OH MY GOD I’M GONNA CRY!! THE WAY HIS VOICE IS CRACKING!! 

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I’M CRYING!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( 

MISHA’S ACTING RIGHT NOW OMG!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

OH MY GOD CAS OH MY GOD MISHA OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!! 

“You raise your little brother for love.” :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

OH MY GOD CAS!!! :’( :’( :’( <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

....my reactions might wind up getting slim because I’m really starting to cry.... :’( :’( :’( :’( 

“Because of you.” :’( :’( :’( <3 <3 <3 <3 

“You changed me, Dean.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

WAIT NOOO!!! CAS NOOOO!!! DON’T DO IT!! :’( :’( :’( :’(

HOLY FRICK!!!

HOLY FRICK HOLY FRICK HOLY FRICK!!! 

GUYS!!!! 

IT FINALLY HAPPENED!!! 

DESTIEL JUST BECAME CANON!!! 

“I love you.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

“The one thing I want, it’s something I can’t have.” <3 <3 <3 

THAT IS DESTIEL PEOPLE!! 

IT IS CANON!!! 

TWELVE YEARS!!! 

AND DESTIEL IS CANON!!!! 

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING!!

WAIT NO NO NO I TAKE THAT BACK I DON’T LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING!!!

“Don’t do this, Cas.” :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( 

OH MY GOD NOOOOO!!!! 

THE HANDPRINT!!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( 

WTF!!! 

OH MY GOD!!!!

....

I can’t...

I can’t type...

I’m hyperventilating.

There are tears just streaming. 

WTF??!! 

DID THEY SERIOUSLY JUST INFINITY WAR THIS SH**??!! 

ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME??!! 

YOU HIT ME WITH CAS??!! 

AND THEN THIS??!! 

I can’t type...

.....

HOLY. 

FRICK. 

Just so we’re clear. 

I am writing this review portion. 

A good two hours after watching that episode. 

And I’m still crying. 

Even thinking about everything that just happened. 

What. 

The. 

F**k. 

WTF WAS THAT??!! 

DID THEY JUST--

DID THEY ACTUALLY--

*SCREAMS* 

Okay, let me try this again, and I’m gonna try extra hard not to burst into tears this time. 

That. 

Was. 

Epic. 

Oh my god. 

Between all of the s**t that’s going down in the world (and yes, I saw all the memes), THIS was the LAST thing I was expecting. 

DESTIEL.

IS.

CANON. 

CAS.

IS.

DEAD.

GUYS!!!

SERIOUSLY HELP!!! 

I...I can’t even process. 

Destiel is canon. 

Supernatural is Avengers: Infinity War. 

Jack destroys anything he touches. 

And meanwhile, Nevada is still counting votes, and Putin stepped down. 

Man. This is a day.  

Everything hurts. 

And I’m still crying. 

Okay. 

Despite all of the emotional trauma that this has caused, I’m going to try really hard to analyze this episode like I usually do. 

Let me just start with: wow. 

The cinematography in this was incredible, and Richard Speight’s acting was genius. Everything about this episode--visuals, music, set, everything--was just so brilliantly done and flowed so beautifully together. The scene changes, the transitions, the build-up of tension--it was beautiful. 

They hit those emotions right from the start, in big ways and subtle ways. Between putting beloved characters in danger, to killing some of them off entirely, to little hugs and smiles and words spoken, I was just as shaky and teary-eyed as I was last week. 

And all of it--all of it--culminated into one of the most beautiful scenes that this show has ever created. The amount of raw emotion that was in that Destiel scene was beautiful. The facial expressions of Cas and Dean were so clearly conveying how they felt--how deep Cas’s love truly was, and how scared and confused Dean was. The script. Those lines. The delivery. All of it put meticulously together, piece by piece, in a terrifying, emotional, tension-filled sequence that made something happen that the show has needed for years.

We finally got Destiel. 

And then to have it ripped away, just like that, because Cas was finally happy. Cas was finally happy because he told Dean how he felt, and because he could go out doing the one thing he’d always wanted to do--love him so much that he had to save him. 

Holy. 

Freaking. 

Cow. 

Look.

I was not a Destiel shipper from Day 1, okay? I wasn’t. I always saw their relationship as a brotherhood, and a friendship, and a special bond. 

But as the years went on, and I continued re-watching old episodes and comparing them to new ones, I started to see the Destiel relationship for what it was. 

And let me tell you right now: this scene? This was the final icing on the cake. 

If you didn’t already see the Destiel, then this...this should’ve done it. 

Because wow.

And while we’re talking about “wow”...

Misha Collins. 

Misha. 

F***ing. 

Collins. 

Holy god almighty. 

That was an INCREDIBLE acting moment. 

That was an Oscar-winning, Emmy-winning, stardom performance from a true legend. 

The way he conveyed all of that raw emotion, and the way the tears fell as he just let it all out. Every pronunciation fo every word was so deliberate and done in just the right way. 

And to end it all with the most satisfied, happiest look as his character gave his life for the man he loved. 

As he pushed his lover away and left a bloody handprint behind. 

Misha F***ing Collins is a F***ing Rockstar. 

Holy sh**. 

That could not have a been a better ending for Castiel. 

All of the parallels, and all of the callbacks, and everything that has happened between Cas and Dean came to a head in that very moment. 

And as much as I cried, and as much as I will still be crying for a long, long time...

It was beautiful. 

Then, after all of that, to just top it all off with everyone disappearing, Infinity War style, and to end on that scene of Dean crying, head in his hands, on the floor, weeping, his only remnant of his lost love staining his shoulder. 

And Sam and Jack, just staring into the nothingness that is the rest of the world before staring at each other, lost, and confused, worried that the rest of their family is dead and gone and they’re the only ones left. 

I have no words. 

I cannot describe how incredibly horrifying, and hurtful, and emotional, and beautiful that entire episode was. 

From start to finish, it was a true masterpiece. And I cannot say that enough. 

With two episodes left, I have no idea where this is going to take us next. 

I don’t know if Cas is going to come back. 

I have a feeling he isn’t. Not with an ending like that. At least, not in a way we might expect. 

But I do think we’ll get a resolution to the Destiel moment. I think Dean will have a moment where he wishes he could’ve had the courage to say it back, or a moment where all we see is him grieving, just as Sam grieves Eileen. 

And I wonder if, when all is said and done, Cas will come back in some other way--in heaven, or in dreams, or in some form. Because that would be a good way to do it, in my opinion.

But beyond that, I don’t know what’s next for Sam and Dean and Jack. 

I have a feeling that, like Infinity War (I’m sorry, but that’s totally what it reminded me of), not everyone will stay dead. My hope is that they’ll be brought back somehow. After all, that’s what our boys are all about, right?

But honestly, I don’t know anymore. 

Any theories I had about the deaths of future characters or the survival of others was thrown out the window by Cas’s death in this episode, and honestly, I’m going to be crying about that for the foreseeable future. I’ll never get over it, but at the same time, I won’t even not love it, because it was perfect, and with it came Destiel. 

That’s honestly all I can say. The tears are still falling, and my heart is still aching, but god da**it, that was a good episode. 

My Rating: 25/10 (These numbers are just going to keep getting higher and higher, aren’t they? I probably should’ve started lower...) 

P.S. I honest to god am still trying to process all this, so I’ll react to the promo tomorrow night. <3 

[smolcobie]

Forbidden Love | Haechan

Word Count: 6.203k

Warnings: Heavy making out | Fluff | Suggestive | Surfer!Haechan | Hawaii!au

↪ Summary: When you encounter your youngest childhood friend Haechan after years, you didn’t expect he would become the most forbidden, exciting and dangerous thing you have ever tasted.

MASTERLIST

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

It was New Year’s Eve when you took a long breath on your balcony. Another year over and you were looking forward to what would come next year, but you were tired, especially mentally. That year, in particular, you felt so lonely that the only exciting thing was when you used to go out to surf.

The Lee family had moved next to your house when you were only 6 years old. Always very receptive and spontaneous, you soon ran to find out who filled the newly made house next to you.

You lived in Hawaii, with houses near the beach, fresh fish scent, ice cream every week, and hula dancers always making holiday attractions.

It was a busy summer day when the Lee family arrived. As soon as you saw them, you wanted to be receptive, so you took some cookies (hidden from your mother) to the newcomer family.

“Aloha !!! WELCOME” You said smiling happily and Mama Lee felt touched by your cuteness.

“Look how cute! What’s your name dear?” Mama Lee said approaching you with a newborn baby on her arms bending down to talk to you.

“Y/N, but everyone knows me as Hula girl, because I’m so good with my hips, you wanna see?” You moved cutely making the woman laugh.

“You’re so funny! This one is Donghyuck, the youngest in the house, but our eldest son Johnny nicknamed him Haechan.” She said showing the baby

“His hair is spiky, how cute.” You laughed running your hand through his hair.

“Johnny come here to meet our new little friend.” The woman called the boy who was helping his father with some things.

He came running with his hair in the wind and jumping out of breath.

“Hi, I’m Johnny!” He arrived giving a happy smile that somehow warmed your heart.

“I’m Y/N, I live next door.” you pointed a finger at the humble house that you lived.

“Cool, I think we’ll be neighbors now,” he said excitedly making you feel welcome with the new boy. “Mommy, can I play with Y/N later?”

“Yes, honey, but only after helping Daddy.” The woman smiled as she saw how children made friends so quickly.

“Okay! See you later, Y/N!”

And with that, a long journey of love began in your life.

1 year later

It was a normal sunny day and Johnny had invited his best friend (you) to have ice cream on the beach.

“Can you believe that Haechan was crying yesterday because he wanted to use my Ferrari stroller that I got for Christmas and I didn’t let him? Babies are soo boring, they never understand these things.”

You were a good listener (largely because the food filled your chubby cheeks) and were always attentive to everything Johnny said.

“Maybe because babies are stupid,” you said, and Johnny laughed. “Really, my mom told me that I kept my mouth open, drooled, and liked to eat dirt when I was a baby. I couldn’t believe it when she told me that.” You licked the lips contented with the refreshing taste of popsicle.

“At least you don’t have a brother to wake you up in the middle of the night. What does it feel like to be an only child?” He asked thoughtfully.

“Lonely sometimes. I always wanted a little brother or sister to keep me company even if he or she cried” You said honestly.

“Ah, but you have me. You can use me as a big brother.” he said cheerfully at the thought, but you got annoyed.

You didn’t want him to be your brother. It felt strange to think of seeing the boy as a brother but you weren’t sure why.

“No! You’re my friend and period.” You sulked and crossed your arms.

Johnny just laughed and hugged you because he thought it was funny when you got angry

“Okay, I’ll be your friend forever, okay?”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

And you made a friendship pact that would last longer than you expected.

3 years later

Haechan was 4 years old and you got used to the boy since you took care of him regularly in exchange for some change as a nanny. It was Saturday night and you would usually take care of Haechan, but you had promised some friends from school and Johnny to go out for a beach bonfire.

At 10 a part of you already felt that you saw Johnny more than just a neighbor, and much more than just a best friend, but that night you were sure.

With a simple game of truth or dare, you had been challenged to peck your friend. For a moment you froze and didn’t know what to do, but the boy simply approached and sealed his lips as if it were nothing.

“These challenges are too weak, leave it to me and spare Y/N.”

Johnny said returning to the place while you remained shocked and with your pink cheeks.

And after having your first kiss with your best friend, you knew you liked him.

He was what you always have seen in the movies, the enchanted prince you dreamed.

At least until you grow up.

6 years later

Puberty soon arrived and Johnny became the popular and handsome island boy who had the attention of all the girls. You were a dancer from Hula’s local group and were very proud of what you’d achieved.

With his popularity, your friendship with Johnny had drifted off at school and talked only briefly during the week when you both teamed up with Haechan to surf on the beach.

Haechan had become the kind of boy who always admired you as a person and was inspired to be better. And whenever he could, he would help you with whatever you needed, even if you still didn’t understand what was going on.

“Do you really think I’m good at surfing?” He asked with his brown eyes shining.

“I’m sure. You’re 10 years old and you’re so much better than your brother who’s 17 and me with 16. You can be a pro.” You talked while you were at sea relaxing on the boards.

It’d become a habit for you both to always be at sea on Saturdays while the rest of the Lee family had left.

“Only you think that. Johnny says I should think of a real profession, like a doctor, lawyer, something like that.” He sighed, with his head down.

“Haechan, you should know your brother only says that because he can’t handle the high waves like you.” You said laughing and he perked up a little “Yeah, I know, but he’s so smart, I feel stupid around him. How can I understand math if I only think of music and the sea all day?” Haechan stared at the orange sky at sunset.

“You’re not stupid, you just have different talents. When you understand that Haechan, you’ll be able to reach out to your dreams and use the potential you really have.”

“If I try hard I can be as good as you are with dancing?”

“You can be anything you want Haechan, it’s just up to you,” You said kicking his surfboard “Now cheer up, please Sun.”

“Okay.”

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

That night, there was a special summer dance performance. The Lee family were the special guests you called to sit forward with your parents.

You were excited and eager to dance, especially because Johnny would be watching. One part of you wanted to do your best so he could see how determined you were, and the other to show that you were more than your brother’s babysitter in your spare time and just the childhood best friend.

Everyone sat down in the front row and Haechan seemed the most excited of all. He was always inspired by you, and you could tell he was your number 1 fan. The presentation would be simple and chic but lively with a few steps you had created with a solo near the end of the dance. You were nervous but after entering the stage all thoughts dissipated and you could only focus on one thing: your moment of shining.

As the minutes passed the audience got up and clapped to their feet before the presentation even ended. It was your moment and everyone was there to congratulate you, except Johnny who seemed to be gone.

You searched for the boy all over the place but didn’t find him. You thought he might be in the bathroom so you walked to the backstage to get your bag with your clothes to leave and came across a not so pleasant scene:

Johnny kissing a teammate who danced with you.

It was devastating.

For a girl to see her first love kiss another girl in front of her is a sensation no one wants to feel.

You picked up your bag and ran away holding back tears. Haechan from far saw you run and soon followed you feeling worried.

It was night time and you only wore a mini skirt made of green leaves and a top that showed the shoulders and a piece of your belly. Even a 10-year-old boy knew that it was not appropriate for a girl to be alone knowing that could be dangerous people around.

You stopped in a nearby park and sat on the abandoned swing and cried there.

Haechan arrived soon panting from the run and approached you.

He noticed that you were crying and said nothing, just hugged and comforted you for a few minutes until you calmed down and took a deep breath. Haechan waited by your side until you recovered completely and together returned home.

That day you realized the sad truth you didn’t want to see:

To Johnny, you were just a friend, and even though Haechan was a 10-year-old boy, he showed more concern than Johnny all these years. You came home that day disappointed that you had been shaken by a boy, but was determined to change.

3 years later

You and Johnny had graduated from school, which is when you decided to stay in Hawaii and become a local dance instructor, your passion, while Johnny went to law school in LA. That’s when you decided to get over him and live your life.

After Johnny went to college, you spent a lot of time with Haechan surfing, dancing or doing anything.

Since Haechan always kept you company, you never felt lonely.

“I heard you rejected Shivani at school today.” You said laughing while resting your feet in the sea

“How do you hear about these things? Damn such a gossip town.” He rolled his eyes.

“Why did you reject her? She was cute.”

“Because I don’t like her and I didn’t want to deceive her.” He said looking away.

Something he always did when he was hiding or lying about something.

“You’re hiding something from me. Tell me everything, I know that’s not all.” You said swimming closer.

“I’m not hiding anything.” He said twisting his nose.

“I get it… it’s because you have someone you like, right?” you said pushing the shoulder of the boy who turned red.

“It’s nothing like that…” It was so obvious that you just laughed internally.

“No need to be embarrassed, we’ve all had a first love. Even me.” You sighed.

“Mine is unrequited, but I have faith that one day she’ll notice me.”He said turning redder looking at the board beneath him.

“Maybe someday Haechannie?”

You smiled and the boy looked at you tenderly.

Little did you know he was talking about you.

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

1 week later Haechan had received a decisive email he’d been waiting for months.

Over the years he became the best of the island in hard surfing and decided to follow your advice and live like a pro surfer but the world was too cruel and dangerous for a simple 13-year-old boy and he knew it wouldn’t be easy.

He researched thoroughly and found that there were schools in L.A that offered scholarships for sporting competition winners around the world. When Haechan found out, he did what he didn’t expect himself to do: he entered the world surfing competition that would happen at the beach near his home.

The preliminaries would be at his home and the final would be in L.A. He was dedicated to win and go to specialize in L.A where his brother lived. Despite his fear, he was surprised to find that he had won the competition.

He became extremely known in the region and tried at a specialist school that trained young teenage sportsmen.

After months he received the email:

“We are honored to inform you that your application has been approved for L.A Sports School”

He was shocked, proud, anxious, happy, so many feelings at once, but sad.

He knew that if he accepted the application he’d be away from you. It was a difficult decision so he promised something there. He swore he’d go to L.A, be the best student and come back to show that he was no longer a boy but a real man to win you over;

So after a lot of thinking, he accepted his arduous destiny.

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

In the farewell at the airport, you cried, you’d feel lonely after all, Haechan had become a life company. You couldn’t deny that you’d inevitably suffer, but you wanted the best for the boy.

“Hope you become the best surfer out there and STUDY HARD OKAY?!?” You hugged him

“Don’t worry, I’ll make you very proud, old lady.” He said laughing and you patted his shoulder.

“I’m not old, I’m wise.” You laughed

“Y/N, I’ll make you a promise.” “What is it Haechan?”

“When I get back we’ll get married.” he said embarrassed and you laughed.

“Marriage??? You’re too young to think about it.”

“But it’s true. I’m coming back and we’re getting married.” he said cheerfully and you found him cute.

“Alright then, I’ll wait for you.” you smiled stroking his hair and he grinned.

“I’ll remember that!!” He said hugging you one last time and ran to the boarding “I’ll miss you, old lady!!!”

“I’m going to miss you too Sun!” You waved and the boy disappeared.

5 years later, present.

You woke up feeling your head hurt from the new year. You wanted to go on sleeping, but you knew you couldn’t, that day one would be special because Haechaan would be returning to Hawaii with his brother to enjoy the rest of their vacations.

When you arrived at the airport, you stayed waiting for your friends with great expectations. After all, you haven’t seen them for years. From far away you spotted Johnny and recognized him at first. He was older, a little more mature, but nothing had changed, the moment he noticed your presence he rushed to give you a warm hug.

“Y/N it’s been ages! I missed you so much.” He hugged you tightly.

“I missed you too.” The moment was soon interrupted by a distinct thick male voice.

“I missed you too, Y/N.” When you let go of Johnny you had to look up to see where the voice came from.

It was Haechan, almost six feet tall, his voice thick and his body changed. You were startled and your heart sped up suddenly.

“Haechan???” You put your hand over your shocked mouth.

“I missed you so much” He hugged you tightly, lifting your body off the floor and squeezing it. “You have no idea how much.” He said it in your ear making you feel nervous.

You didn’t know why you were nervous, but you felt something burn inside you every time he smiled.

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

Arriving home, you talked to Johnny while Haechan went to his bedroom to unpack his things.

“Wow, I missed Hawaii. The house hasn’t changed at all.” Johnny said sitting on the kitchen counter while you grabbed an ice cream.

“Your parents never changed the house so you could feel at home when you come back.” You smiled. “Maybe Haechan will feel like this, I’ll come back to L.A in a few days.” Johnny said and you were confused

“What do you mean? I thought you guys stay here during the holidays.”

“Unfortunately my office contacted me, a special case arrived and I’ll have to go back, but Haechan is here to stay.” Johnny said with a sigh.

“Haechan’ll be staying for good?” You said in a surprised tone

“He wants to do his senior year in Hawaii, and he told me he needed to fulfill a promise he made to you 4 years ago.” Johnny said leaving the counter.

“Promise?” “Yes, he said you know what it is.”

After a lot of thinking, you remembered the old cute promise

“He said he would marry me, but I don’t think he still thinks like he used to.” You laughed eating the ice cream in peace.

Johnny grinned thinking about the possibility

“Why not? I’d love to have you as my sister-in-law.” He said and you hit the boy.

“Very funny. I’ll call Haechan so we can go surfing, it’s been a while since we’ve surfed.”

“All right.”

You walked out of the kitchen and went straight up to Haechan’s room. You knocked on the door, but he didn’t answer so you decided to enter the room facing a scene that left you speechless.

Haechan shirtless in baggy sweatpants, drying his hair with a towel with one hand while brushing his teeth with the other.

“Oh, Y/N? I didn’t hear you knocking, I was taking a shower, the trip made me tired.” He rinsed his mouth in the bathroom and sat on the bed watching you who was silent.

“What? Why are you standing there?” He looked confused while you tried to compose yourself.

‘Since when did Haechan get so… hot????’  You thought, wanting to stick your head in the ground like an ostrich for thinking like that about the boy you used to babysit 'control yourself idiot, he’s just the usual Haechan.’

“Nothing, I was just going to call you to surf, but since you bathed you don’t have to.”

“Don’t worry I will, after all, I missed talking to you.” He said getting up and taking his swimsuit and looked at you who was still standing in place.

“Are you going out or do you want me to change in front of you?” He said looking at you with a smirk and you laughed nervously and left closing the door and running down the stairs.

'What’s happening to me?’ You thought trying to calm your breathing.

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

“I missed talking to you…” He said lying on the board receiving the sunlight, while you tried to look at anything but his tan belly.

“Me too, you didn’t even tell me how was in L.A.” You said sighing thinking about the years that passed

“It was cool, I made a lot of friends, I surfed a lot, I won some little competitions….” He said laughing remembering the time there.

“Little competitions you say the regional and world championships right? I saw that you have more than 1 million followers on Instagram, do not fool me.” You said feeling proud “I’m proud of you, I always knew you would go far.”

The boy opened his eyes and gave a laugh that made you nervous. “To be honest, only you believed that. My parents were afraid, but they knew that if I studied at L.A I would have a great chance of winning college scholarships.”

“And you won?” You looked at him expectantly.

“Sure.” He sighed. “But that’s not what I want to do with my life.” He said confessing his inner dream “I wanted to be a surf teacher here, teach kids so you know? Participating in competitions every once in a while is what I want.”

“Have you told your parents yet?” You said turning to face the boy.

“No, not yet, but I told Johnny.”

“And what did he say?”

“That I should be happy.” He smiled and sighed contentedly. “I don’t want to talk about it, it’s letting me down.”

“Just one thing, you could do that in L.A, why come here?”

“Because of you.” He said speaking as if it were obvious making you feel warmed up.

“What do you mean because of me? I was just your nanny, no big deal.” You said trying to get off the subject and he got annoyed.

“You weren’t just a nanny. You were so much more, you made me believe I could be who I am today, being a nanny was just a circumstance in life. I don’t even want to hear about that anymore.” He said angrily getting off the board and falling into the sea “Come on.”

You kept looking at him confused until he pulled your right leg and you fell into the sea laughing.

“I’ll kill you Haechan!”

“Then try it!” He said pulling you closer while you splashed water on his face and he put his hands in his eyes as if water had entered.

He stood still and you got worried

“Does it hurt? Sorry Haechan, I didn’t want it to get in your eye.” You came closer already saddening whilst he stood still.

“Say something Sun!” You were nervous, it was obvious, and when you went to take your hands from Haechan’s eye he took you by the waist and pulled you close, squeezing.

“I love it when you call me Sun…” His deep voice echoing inside your ears, looking into your eyes while he was smiling making you blush.

“I always called you that.” You said looking away breaking the eye contact.

“Why do you keep avoiding me?” He tugged your chin so you could look at him again “Are you nervous?” He stroked your chin, still holding you.

“Haechan, let me go or I’ll break you.” You said trying to look serious, and he let you out laughing.

“You don’t fool anybody Y/N, you know what’s going on here.” He laughed climbing the board again.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said straightening your hair as you tried to calm down.

“You’ll know soon.” he said and left to surf another wave.

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

You combed your hair whilst you looked in the bathroom mirror, sighing over the sink you thought you were going crazy. How could you be so affected by Haechan like that? He was practically a child who grew up together with you, and now he made you blush.

You wouldn’t admit it, but you knew you were attracted to him. Even after years, you never had a boyfriend, the only boy you’d liked was Johnny, and was too traumatized and afraid to think about dating someone right now. Not to mention that the island didn’t help much, the boys were boring and had nothing interesting to share.

You felt alone, needy, afraid, and scared of the recent thoughts about the boy who had been your cute neighbor all your life and had now reappeared as a man.

“It’s so confusing…” You sighed finishing the brushing of your hair.

You went downstairs thinking you could have ice cream to cool your head, the sunset was so beautiful you decided to stay there and enjoy it. You looked for the pots and found it in a cupboard that was a little tall yourself. You tiptoed up to reach and unsuccessfully, took a deep breath.

“My father really had to put these pots up there for fear of someone stealing us while they traveled? People aren’t going to steal something like that.” You muttered angrily and tried again.

While you were stretching, Haechan had entered the room without you noticing and seeing the girl’s situation, the boy came from behind and all you felt was him pressing your back, a strong hand on your waist and an arm reaching for the pots you wanted.

Your heart stopped.

“W-What are you doing Haechan?” You said shakily.

“Picking up your pots.” He grinned and turned to you “Why are you nervous?”

“I’m not…” You said swallowing hard

“Yeah.” He leaned against the countertop of the lockers, pinning you in place. “It’s obvious on your face, you can’t lie.” He laughed talking near your face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You move your nose when you lie, it’s your habit. You can’t fool me.” He said getting closer making you take a deep breath “And you didn’t answer me.” He looked into your eyes.

You just looked at him and said nothing. What would you say? You were having desires for the childhood friend? He was just a boy, just pranking you… That’s what you thought.

“You’re a child, Haechan. Stop it.” You said with the rest of her sigh and the boy scoffed.

“What did you say?” He said getting close to you.

“T-That you are a child.” You swallowed and the boy showed a hurt look.

“I’m not a child.” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I’ll show you, I’m not the child you used to care for anymore. I grew up and apparently I’m bigger than you.” He looked into your eyes deeply, it was obvious you wouldn’t look away, he was being honest there and mostly resentful.

“If you think I’m a child, then you’re blind and I’ll cure you of this absurd blindness.” He came close to the girl’s ear and spoke for the last time before retiring. “And when you realize that, you can’t take it.” He put his mouth to the skin under your ear and kissed there and left without saying anything else.

You let it out the breath you didn’t know you were holding. Your heart was pounding, the legs trembling and your breathing failed.

“What did I get myself into?” It was all you could think of.

It was night and a bonfire party was happening like it always repeated every New Year. You put on your best outfit, a beautiful white dress that was light and adorned your body perfectly. You put on a small sparkling earring and let your hair down, feeling light, but not calm.

Haechan was angry and you felt guilty for what you said. You wanted to apologize, but you didn’t know how to approach him.

After some thought, you decided to let the time decide and went to the party.

When you arrived you realized that there were many people there, but only one caught your attention. Haechan was standing looking at the sea, looking concerned and alone, and deep down you hated how your eyes found him so easily in the crowd.

You thought of approaching, but soon gave up when you noticed a group of girls surrounding him with some sheets and pens in hand. It was obvious that he was famous, you could never forget.

You were just a girl from Hawaii, and he was Lee Haechan: the star of the surf.

You decided to forget about Haechan and enjoy the bonfire. You sat on some log there and ate some snakes enjoying the loud Bruno Mars music, Finesse.

Everything seemed peaceful, but you seemed uncomfortable. You always felt alone, but at that moment you wanted to have someone, or more precisely, him. Your head ached from the thoughts you didn’t want to hear screaming, you needed some air.

But it was already outdoors, what could you do? Get out of there.

Deciding to go out, you marched in the opposite direction of the beach straight to some lifeguard wooden houses. It was getting darker, the breeze was colder with the twilight and you felt the hair on your arm lift.

You were a little tired so you decided to lean and rest against the wooden base of the nearby house. From afar could see the fire and the sea as well. Just behind you was your house, you seriously considered coming back and just sitting on the porch watching people have fun from afar. You felt sad and definitely wasn’t in the mood for partying.

The reason was simple, Haechan managed to steal your heart.

You sighed and felt the breeze beat harder sending chills through your body and decided to go home, it was getting dark and being there alone wouldn’t help anything. At least your cat Noah would keep you company in your house.

As you were about to return you noticed his presence, Haechan, with his hands in the pockets of his white pants watching you silently.

“Are you a stalker now?” You said nervously, trying not to look affected and kept walking home.

“I came to talk to you.”

“You’re already talking.” You looked at him one last time stopping in your path “What is it, Sun? Why are you so obsessed with me?”

“isn’t it obvious?” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Why do you keep pretending you don’t know?”

“I don’t know what?” You approached with your arms crossed.

“I love you.” He said with all the courage he had.

“What?” You laughed through your nose “You don’t even know what love is, I’m just a passing crush, I’m sure.” You said remembering how you felt about Johnny

“I’m not Johnny, Y/N.” He said softly “I didn’t go out hooking up with girls in L.A while you were here. I always thought of you” He took your hand “It’s not a passing crush when you like the same person for 4 years in a row.”

“I… I don’t know what to say” You looked around feeling your heart racing.

“Yes, you do.” He moved closer and looked into your eyes tenderly. “You know.” He caressed your face.

“No…” You took the boy’s hand away, feeling an ache inside your heart. “That’s wrong.”

“Do you want it or not?” He looked at you with decisive eyes.

“Haechan…” You said softly looking at him as he approached.

“I didn’t ask if it’s wrong or not,” He pressed his nose to yours making you smell the mint of his breath “I asked if you want to.”

You swallowed and looked up at the boy who didn’t wait for your answer and sealed his lips with yours.

He approached you by your waist with his left arm and with his right hand held your face as he slowly kissed you. He was so happy he needed to make sure it was happening, so he’d stop just to see you and then come back to your soft lips smile between the kisses.

It was strangely good, how an 18-year-old knew more about kissing than the men of you kissed your entire life.

He hugged you tightly and you laughed in his chest. “Don’t squeeze me hard, I’ll be out of breath.”

“You’ll be out of breath soon.” He said pulling you to your house.

“Where do you think you’re going?” You looked at him suspiciously.

“You’ll find out.” He smiled looking at you.

He barely waited for you to come in, he already closed the door with his back kissing you again, this time harder.

“You’re very beautiful.” He said laughing on your neck smelling your sweet perfume there

“T-Thank you,” You sighed with your eyes closed “You’re not so bad either.” The boy laughed through his nose at your statement.

“I see…” He just said that and kissed you again.

With his body, he pressed you carefully over the door and held your face with both hands, living the moment he had dreamed so much. He gave little pecks dragging his lips to your cheek and jaw. With his right hand, he moved down from your cheek passing through your neck to the nape of your hair holding it there so that he could kiss you better.

The left hand squeezed your waist while the boy’s leg brushed your thigh, making you breathless.

“W-Where did you learn that?” You tried to catch your breath that the boy wouldn’t allow you to have.

“Certain things you are born knowing.” He laughed and slowly kissed again, going in his own time.

His lips were soft and even if he kissed you harder, it was a beautiful contradiction at how his lips could be soft and calm even though he was stronger.

He released your lips by running his thumb there. It was a little swollen and red from the force it made.

“Open it.” He said with his deep voice echoing in your ear as he touched your mouth, which slowly opened following with your pink cheeks. The boy bit his lip trying not to laugh noticing how you had obeyed him.

Kissing you again, he boldly pulled you close. His right hand sliding down from your hair to your hip, while he felt the softness of your lips with his tongue. At this point, your head was spinning trying to focus on just what you were feeling because you were afraid of losing control right there.

The boy who didn’t want to wait anymore put his tongue in your mouth, which made you lose strength in your legs, causing the boy to sink his fingers in your hip to stay still.

You who got lost in the boy’s embrace, didn’t remember the last time someone had kissed you so intimately and had such patience with you. He was so cautious as if you were made of glass and could be broken with just one touch.

He walked back slowly pulling you with him, taking small steps while biting your lower lip pulling it for another kiss. With each step, he looked more desperate, even slapped his little finger on a piece of furniture, but he acted like it was no big deal, because all he could think about was that the girl he always wanted was right there in his embrace.

“Damn, you’re so perfect.” He said as he kissed your whole face going to your collarbone.

“I” The boy kissed the center of your neck “I’m just” pulled his lips to your shoulder “I.” You tried to speak but was always interrupted by your breathing.

The boy had a few extra celsius in his temperature, it was obvious he was having the moment he always wanted and had no one to disturb him, so he would enjoy it as far as he could.

As you approached the couch he let go of you, who let out a moan of indignation at the lack of contact, while the boy sat on the couch.

You stood looking at him feeling confused, red, and sweating a little because of the warmth of the place. You stared at Haechan who just smiled and made you even more embarrassed, trying to catch your breath.

Haechan tired of waiting for you, realized that you didn’t understand what he wanted so decided to facilitate for both of you.

“Sit down.” He patted his own thigh speaking as if it were obvious.

You lost your breath when you saw the scene

“W-WHAT?” You said in a slightly loud voice, obviously altered by the unexpected request.

“You heard.” He called you again, patting his thigh again. “Come.” He said in his deepest, lowest voice “Sit down.”

You that was now redder than usual decided to do what he had asked, feeling a little embarrassed but knew you wanted it too.

You approached slowly and the boy pulled you to his lap caressing your waist over the dress.

“You’ve been working out, right?” He said laughing looking into your eyes.

“What?” You looked at him incredulously. “How do you know?”

“You can feel it.” He said simple and returned to kiss the girl.

The hands on your waist drew you closer until you could feel every inch of the boy’s turned body. Your hands went to the boy’s silky hair that was so soft it got lost between your fingers, drawing him closer.

The boy who was most assured of himself dropped his hands from your waist to your legs around him. With each kiss it was increasingly desperate, it was too good to be just that.

His hands slowly explored the skin under your dress, slowly so you wouldn’t be scared and feel awkward. You who realized what he was trying to do pulled his hair lightly making him sigh in your mouth.

“I think… after all, you can’t always control everything.” You said smiling slightly at the boy who looked at you with desire in his eyes.

He answered nothing but just kissed you again and dug his nails lightly into your thighs rising to your hip, making you nervous. You swallowed hard, trying to keep yourself under control, but when he squeezed the spot, sucking on your neck and shoulder, you let out an involuntary sly moan from the deep of your throat.

The boy smiled at your skin and continued marking your shoulder trying to pull the zipper down of your dress from behind, and you were busy trying to remove the buttons on the boy’s blouse that didn’t come out easily.

“Oh dear God…” You said between sighs “I’ll be arrested.” You laughed at the thought of the police raiding the place the moment they were like that.

“Then just say I’m 18 years old.” He laughed, lowering the dress zipper as he slid his fingers down your back, making you blush.

“I think I’m going crazy…” You said approaching the boy’s neck where you felt the strong scent making you dizzy “But it’s worth it.” You kissed there melting the boy.

Haechan that desperately tried to help you with his own buttons, was busy holding you in his lap when he got up with the idea of ​​going to your room, but were disturbed by a red light that illuminated the dark place through the window.

“Is that the police?” You looked seriously at the boy and got out of his lap pulling the zipper of your dress while he fixed his hair. “He’s not a child, it’s fine.” You would repeat to yourself trying to focus on what was happening.

“Hey baby, that’s not it.” He said pulling you to see through the crack of the window “It’s your parents.”

“Y/N LOVE!! We’re home sooner.” Your mother screamed “Silence Y/M/N! You don’t even know if she’s there, let’s go inside silent.” Your father said closing the doors.

You both stopped your actions when you heard the familiar voices outside. Trying to compose yourself, you went into the kitchen opening the fridge pretending everything was fine (and in a terrible attempt to cool off from the sudden fire)

“I’ll finish this later.” Haechan said in your ear, giving you one last kiss on your neck, going out from the back of your house.

“I’ll wait.” Was what you said and smiled to yourself, with all the sensations you felt there.

He would definitely remember that forever.

▪︎

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Masterlist

[sooghostwriter]

Chef Soo. Three meals a day

Pairings: Do Kyung Soo x OC (Nameless, but I refuse to use Y/N)

Genre: Romance, AU (?), fluff, slow burn (?), crazy story, a tiny tiny bit of angst.

Dinner: Chicken Stew

The sample and the buyer

She was one of those young millionaires. She had just won her first million after opening her startup with her business partner. She always dressed well, not in high heels or two-piece suits, but she owned a Gucci backpack, and his friend Jongin said it was very expensive. She also had a very expensive smartwatch and phone. But those were the only rich person thing she had. She was sweet, down to earth, funny, and very polite. She visited his small restaurant when she got her first big deal and haven't stopped coming there since then. Almost every day of the week. By herself or with her coworkers. She never ordered anything, she only told him "Give me whatever you want, I trust you" The first time she did that, he almost had a breakdown. That was way too much responsibility. It amused him that she kept doing it after becoming a regular client. Kyung Soo never asked her why she did that, he didn't have the guts. After a couple of months of serving her whatever she wanted he began cooking especially for her. He knew she liked spicy food, so he prepared a special batch from that day’s menu and added wasabi to it. He realized he liked her when he began cooking just for her. A single portion, a dish that didn't figure on that day’s menu. Maybe a dish that he wanted to try out, or maybe that day there was an especially big abalone at the market so he would buy it and cook it especially for her. One day he almost got caught. She and another two coworkers came for dinner. They asked for that day’s vegetarian menu, and she only smiled at him. She didn't have to voice her wish anymore. That day he cooked her a portion of homemade ravioli. Then another coworker arrived and asked for her dish. He panicked for a while until he found the perfect excuse "That was the last portion, sorry" That was the only close call. In general, their relationship was very business-like. They spoke on first-name basis though, but nothing more.

---

She was walking down the street with Junmyeon, looking for the best place to celebrate their first big deal with the biggest app developer of the country. They passed by several bars, but they needed more than a beer. She stopped in front of a small entry with a small but elegant sign that said, Chicken Stew. There was a nice sent coming from inside the place and it looked cozy. The thermometer outside was marking some good 2 degrees, so they got inside without thinking too much about it. Inside there was an open kitchen and some tables scattered around the place. The place was really warm, decorated with simple pieces but very assertively. There were some tables free, one of them just in front of the kitchen. She dragged Junmyeon to that table and sat down feeling excited. She wanted to celebrate with her friend and colleague but also enjoy some good food. That night they settled for a bottle of good wine and two portions of Chicken Stew. They had a small but delicious menu available at night but they settled for the Chicken Stew because it was the recommendation of the Chef, Kyung Soo. 

--- Chicken Stew was Kyung Soo’s baby. At a young age, he had decided to become a chef. Not only because he wanted to cook, or because he enjoyed following recipes or coming up with his owns. He wanted to be a chef because he liked giving people food. Not only for their compliments. Watching a person sigh in happiness with the first spoon full of food, bringing spoon after spoon to their mouths too quick for their well-being was what filled him with pride. He saw his job as an art, although it could sound a little bit too full of himself it felt like art. But opening his own restaurant was an odyssey. No bank trusted a young chef. Rent was expensive and the price of kitchen supplies was only reasonable if that industrial kitchen was made of gold. It was impossible for him to open his restaurant with his savings and the money his dad could borrow him. He was about to take a job on a cruise, just so he could save money, when a friend gave him an idea. It was a new thing that had arrived in Korea, but it was already well known and popular around the world. Sperm banks. “My sister and her husband bought a sample from them, since they were having issues conceiving” His friend told him “Of course it is super secretive and all, the pay is super good, you should try it” And he did. Taking advantage of his privilege as a man. Because getting a sample wasn’t that hard, he had been getting samples since he was fourteen. The nice nurse gave him paperwork to sign, his check and a number and also made a very nice comment about his appearance and how healthy he was and how popular those kinds of samples were “Your sperm could be useful for you someday, so save this number, is the number of your sample” 1313. What a coincidence, it was the number of the place he wanted to rent, and it was perfect for his restaurant. So that morning after leaving the clinic, he went straight to the real state agency and put the deposit for his soon to be restaurant and then called his friend Jongin offering him a job.

--- Since she was a teenager, she had two dreams. Being her own boss and become a young mom. She always hated having someone telling her what to do, like everybody. And growing up with parents like hers, specifically a mother like hers, she always believed that becoming a mom before turning 30, a young mom, was the way to go. But to do that she had to become the boss first. It happened before she had planned it. She was 27 when she and Junmyeon got their first check for more money she could have ever imagine. As she put her signature on the contract she kept repeating to herself that today was day one of the quests of becoming a mom. When they entered Chicken Stew and she saw the cute chef behind the counter she thought to herself: I bet he could make some cute babies. 

--- It was very amusing to her how she never considered a man on this plan of becoming a mother. In a beginning she did. But every boyfriend was a disappointment. A one-night stand could do the job, and yes she could get pregnant, but also she could get a nasty STD. She considered inviting Junmyeon into the project. And she was sure he would help her. But she felt kind of shitty offering him to be a silent partner when she knew how much he craved to have a family in the future. But he gave her an idea that she could only expect from a businessman like him “In-vitro” He said as he was munching his dessert. It was lunchtime and they were seated at the back of 'Chicken Stew'. She had already finished her fettuccini Alfredo that Kyung Soo served her and skipped dessert because she was already full “I don’t know why you haven’t thought about it already, it’s way more expensive than meeting a guy in a bar but safer” “I never planned any of this with a partner actually, if there was one, good, but if there isn’t, good too” “You don’t want to wait a little bit though? Maybe Kyung Soo grows a pair and invites you dinner one of these days” She chuckled bitterly “Bold of you to assume that I don’t see this as a dinner invitation” She gestured to the empty plate “It’s not” “It is! He cooked for me!” Her friend rolled his eyes and patted her hand condescending “Don’t do that, he is going to think we are together!” “No he won’t, I came here with a date the other day” He distracted her for a couple of minutes so he could tell her about this date, but once Jongin came to ask them if they needed something else, Junmyeon came back to the previous discussion  “Look, I know that this relationship thing is not your thing, I’ve known you for years, when we were in high school I thought you were a lesbian, then I thought you were asexual until the first year of uni when you got your first boyfriend, that didn’t end up well…my point is that is not often that I see you showing interest in another human being…but also, you can’t stop your life from moving forward just to wait for a significant other” “This is all very cute, but where are you going with this” He cleaned his mouth, organizing his ideas because he was also a bit lost “My point is…I take back what I said before, get pregnant and pursue Kyung Soo, or don’t, just live your life, and if you want to become a mom right now, do it, I will support you” “I really want to be a mom” He saw her sparkling eyes “I know, you have been saying that since we were kids, so go ahead and do it, also, I know I’m your only friend so yes, I will go with you to the doctor if you need me” She thanked him, although she already knew that. When her friend left the restaurant, she stayed there looking on her computer for fertility clinics. There weren’t that many, but they all had a very good reputation. She was about to call one of the clinics when Kyung Soo interrupted her “Your friend already paid, I don’t want to bother you, but I’m about to close to prepare for dinner, but you can stay If you want” She looked around the place and noticed that she was the only one left “I’m so sorry I was so focused looking at…at something here I didn’t notice, I will be going” Kyung Soo put one hand on her shoulder stopping her from standing up, cleaning his other hand  in his apron nervously “Don’t worry, you are free to stay, really is nothing, I’m going to be back there working, you can stay” “I don’t need to go to the office and I really enjoy being here, so If I’m not bothering you…I think I will stay” He didn’t answer, only smiled at her and walked back to the kitchen. She kept looking at him from her table. She always did that when she went there for lunch, especially when she was there with a big group, in that way no one would notice it. She liked how focused he was. How organized he was. During these months of eating regularly at the 'Chicken Stew' she was able to visit the kitchen twice, and she was always taken away by how clean it was, even after lunchtime. Kyung Soo was a clean man. She liked that. Also, the food was unparallel. All the flavors merged perfectly. She was sure she had tried every single dish it was there to offer and they were all amazing. Several times she went to fancy restaurants with potential business partners and the food was never as good as Kyung Soo’s food. Kyung Soo was an amazing chef. She liked that. But going to the 'Chicken Stew' was also a great experience in terms of social interaction. One time when the place was packed with people she shared a table with a man who looked a bit under the weather to say the least. His appearance wasn’t the best. One of her co-workers asked him what was going on and he opened to these three strangers “I’m pretty much homeless now, I have been leaving in a net café for two weeks now, and the little money I have I use it to pay for that place, Kyung Soo met me in a very bad situation and brought me here for food, I have been eating here for three days, I have tried to pay and he stopped me from doing so, he gave me this look…you better follow what he says” He finished with a merry laugh. Then she heard several stories like that. A high schooler who went there to eat three days a week ended up being a hard-working kid with really crappy parents. An old couple that went there every Friday were two retired who sometimes had to choose between food or medicine. All of them eating for free thanks to Kyung Soo. He was a remarkable man. She loved that. She kept looking at him as he was chopping tomatoes. There was a peace around him. She barely knew him, but she was sure Kyung Soo was an easy-going guy, trustful, competent and caring. She wanted to know him and see if she was right. She wanted to talk to him. Hear his voice. Ask what his favorite food was. Why did he become a chef? Why Chicken Stew? She had so many questions. And Kyung Soo was right there, probably feeling observed by her. She stood up and walked to the kitchen counter, knocking at the steal surface as if it was a door. He looked up fighting a smile and asked if she needed something. She asked him if they could talk. Kyung Soo felt a rush of something taking over.  He knew she was coming, he hoped so after feeling observed by her for so long. He thought she wanted something else to eat, maybe the portion of Crème Brule she didn’t eat at lunch. He wasn’t expecting her to ask him to talk. He wasn’t expecting the questions. The need to know about him. He wasn’t expecting her laughs and interest. He wasn’t expecting how relaxed he felt answering her questions. He wasn’t expecting how easily he asked back. He wasn’t expecting to realize that she was maybe interested in him.

After that Kyung Soo was a little bit more open about his feelings. One time he cooked a chicken and tomatoes stew just for her and when her coworkers asked if they could have the same, he answered with the truth. He cooked that just for her, it was a personal portion. Everybody went silent and when he met her eyes, she was smiling fondly at him. He noticed once that her hair was getting on her way and she complained to her lunch mates about forgetting to bring something to hold it. And it happened often. She always found a way to fix it, a headkerchief or pencil. One day as he went with Jongin to buy something for his niece he found a cute hair tie with a cute chick on it. He bought it, ignoring Jongin when he asked him for who it was. The next day, when he brought her plate, he left the hair tie next to it. Thank god that day she came to eat by herself. He didn’t have the guts to do that with an audience. He walked away quickly and didn’t come back to her table. But a couple of minutes later Jongin came to him with a silly smile, raising a cheeky eyebrow “So the cute chick was for her?...You are so romantic…just so you know, she is wearing it” He lifted his head quickly,  and saw her slurping her ramen noodles, with her hair high in a ponytail with the yellow hair tie bright on her head. 

--- One Monday she didn’t come for lunch. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday passed and she didn’t come. When Friday came she asked her coworkers what happened to her. They said she was abroad because of work. Two weeks passed. He was missing her. Sighing around the restaurant, feeling weird without cooking that extra dish just for her. Jongin began to worry, bringing him his favorite coffee or taking him out during the weekends. But he was still feeling down. He missed hearing her laugh and the way she would mess with her co-workers. It was way too soon to feel lovesick. But that was exactly how he was feeling. The chick hair tie was next to the cash register waiting for its owner. Then one Friday night she arrived with Junmyeon. He had one arm around her shoulders and she looked like she had just cried. They sat at a table in front of the kitchen counter and in between sobbing she laughed happily to something he said. Kyung Soo felt a whirlpool of emotions. He was so happy to finally see her after so long. But he imagined a friendly comeback. An exchange of polite words and then he would bring her some food. But now he didn’t know what was going on. She was crying but she didn’t look sad. Her friend was beyond happy and laughed at her when she broke into tears again. And when he made eye contact with Kyung Soo, he waved at him, asking him to come closer. He felt insanely awkward standing in front of them, it was impossible to read the atmosphere there “Is everything ok?” He asked unable to hid how worried he was “Kyung Soo, everything is ok, more than ok, we came to celebrate, my friend here” His voice broke with a bit of emotion “My friend here just had a  pregnancy test at the bathroom of our office and she is pregnant” She heard her squeal, hiding her face on her hands and then looked up at him. She looked so beautiful. Her face was covered in tears, yes. But she was happy. So happy he could almost see a bright shine surrounding her “You are pregnant?” He asked, not sure why. He was happy to see her so happy, but a dark sadness settled on his stomach. You need two to be pregnant. He didn’t know she had a boyfriend. Or maybe it was Junmyeon’s. “Could you bring us a bottle of champagne to celebrate? Oh, you can’t drink…well, Kyung Soo and I can drink you drink some water” Kyung Soo moved in autopilot to the kitchen and brought a bottle and champagne and one of water and three glasses to their table. Junmyeon opened said bottle and served the drinks. He was as happy as his friend, which made the theory of him being the father even more plausible. He felt like biting his head off. She grabbed her glass, took a deep breath and made a toast “This is for me, my child and his or her father…sample 1313” Kyung Soo dropped his glass to the floor. He felt their stares on him and despite knowing that he had to move he just couldn’t. 1313 was a number he was very conscious about. How much coincidence could be involved in this entire situation? Did she purchase his sample? He was brought back to life by Junmyeon patting his shoulder nervously “I guess our friend is as surprised as us…Kyung Soo are you ok?” “Yeah, yes, yes, I’m ok, Congratulations” His hand was numb, still in the air and his glass in the floor spilling wine on his black shoes. Jongin came quickly to help him clean and thanks to that he came out of his stupor. He was hating himself violently now. He made a fool of himself. There was no way he could explain this behavior. A reaction like out of a soap opera. She said she was pregnant, and he dropped his glass of wine. This was ridiculous “Sis, you said sample? What do you mean?” His beloved Jongin came to the rescue and their focus changed from him to Jongin “Oh, well you see, I really wanted to be a mom, since I’m a little girl, and I want to be a mom now that I have money and a good job and I’m young, but I lost hope in men, no offense,  and I don’t have the energy to try right now, so I went to a fertility clinic and I got inseminated” Kyung Soo felt like fading. Cold sweat ran down his neck and back, there was no way this world was so small that the woman he liked got inseminated with his sample. No way. There was absolutely no way. Life couldn’t be this…bizzare. “Sis, and your sample is number 1313? As the number of our restaurant?” She looked at Junmyeon nervously looking for help “That is a huge coincidence right?” He tried to help with something that was believable “It was a good sample” She commented with almost a whisper. This sample talking was making her very uncomfortable, especially with these friends by proxy. Jongin smiled at her and took a long step, reaching for her with his arms, hugging her “I’m very happy for you sis, I hope you have a beautiful and healthy child” She hugged him back because his bear hug was too good not to answer it. Kyung Soo was outraged. Not because his best friend was hugging the woman he liked. He was shocked because now he had to hug her too. It would be awful if he just stood there. And there is no such thing as a congratulatory handshake to someone who announced her pregnancy, which will also disarm him. Jongin let go of her, holding to her hand patting it caringly and turned around sending him a wink. He was going to chop him to pieces later. Kyung Soo dried his hands on his apron and went to hug her. He didn’t know how it looked for the rest, but for him, it was an amazing hug. There were approximately two steps separating them. She took one and he followed. She raised her arms to his shoulders and he went for her waist, circling his arms around her pulling her softly against him. She rested her chin on his shoulder and sighed contently. Her hair tickled his nose, making him smile. He took a deep breath and said what he really wanted to say “I’m very happy for you, you should do want you want, and I’m glad one of your dreams is coming true” He rubbed her back and his head was shouting at him that the hug was long enough, but she wasn’t letting him go. So he didn’t either “Thank you Kyung Soo” She said, patting his back and cuddling deeper in his arms. She opened her eyes and saw Jongin exchanging stares with Junmyeon. They were both holding their laughs and being all giddy, Jongin clapping his hands silently and Junmyeon covering his mouth with both hands. Just then she realized what was she doing. She really didn’t want to let him go. He felt so warm and solid between her arms. He smelled amazing, a mixture of his perfume and the smells of his kitchen. His arms were strong but held her tenderly. His chest vibrated against hers when he spoke, and his words resonated on her ears. His voice sounded different, and the tone of his words was new to her. He sounded happy, yes, but there was a melancholy behind them. She didn’t want to let him go. And when she felt him move she could only tight her embrace. Could she start blaming the pregnancy for this? Pregnant women were…emotional, right? Her friend and Jongin kept sharing silly smiles and her long-time friend began making signals to cut it, mouthing “enough, enough” She jerked, waking up from her dreamy moment and let go of him, sliding her hands down her shoulders and arms. He held to her hands like Jongin did and sputtered “I hope you have a peaceful and healthy pregnancy too” “We can help you with that, right chef? Bring us what the nutritionist recommends and he will cook it for you” Jongin assured sweetly. She thanked him but made sure to take pressure away from him. Kyung Soo didn’t let her finish “I would be glad to help you with that” She smiled delighted, feeling a bit guilty, but not surprised by his words. That was the kind of man he was “Ok, can we eat now? I’m very hungry and we have to celebrate” “Jongin and I were about to close the kitchen, but we have some food left, we will prepare something fast and bring it to you” “Thank you, you two should join us” Jongin was about to answer, thrilled with the idea, but he stopped him by pinching his waist “We need to clean and prepare some things for tomorrow, but thank you for the invitation” He grabbed Jongin’s upper arm and pulled him to the kitchen “Hyung, hyung! What are you doing?” He complained on their way to the kitchen. He pulled him to the cleaning station that was away from the eating area and stood in front of him with his hands on his hips  “Do you hate me? Do you want me dead?” “No, no, why are you asking me that?” “Why did you do that?!” Jongin was frowning in confusion, and he knew that he didn’t do anything wrong, he was just a warm person, but he needed to blame someone now and vent a little bit “Why did you hug her?” Jongin’s face changed from confusion to understanding and a mocking grin took over his face “No, is not what you are thinking” Kyung Soo predicted “Since you hugged her I had to hug her too!” “So?” “So?! You know how I feel about her, that was the hardest thing I had to do, hug her and let…and let her go, and then you offered myself to cook for her” “Hyung, I was doing you a favor there, you were considering doing that anyway weren’t you?” Kyung Soo snarled and walked past him into the kitchen. He couldn’t stand another word from Jongin. He was too right. And it annoyed him. The night was cold and he was especially tired that day. Jongin’s steps were longer than his in their way to the flat they shared. He liked it like that, it gave him a bit of privacy. He was feeling like crap. On one side he was thrilled for her pregnancy. Because if she was happy he was too. He was sad she didn’t wait for him. But what saddened and terrified him the most was the possibility that sample 1313 was his sample. He felt guilty for not telling her, but also selfish because why did she need to know, the whole thing of going for the insemination was keeping this between her and her child. No man in between. He was terrified of the future, what if she began bringing her child to the restaurant, what was he going to do? And he couldn’t avoid feeling happy, he wasn't bothered by the idea of having a kid with her. There were way too many emotions swimming around his head and chest, he felt like crying “Kyung Soo, Do you care if she is pregnant?” Jongin asked stopping on his steps, but not turning around “Jongin” He called his friend, almost in tears. Jongin turned around alarmed “What? what is it? Don’t be sad hyung” His friend was pouting, rubbing Kyung Soo’s shoulders. Kyung Soo felt great relief when he could finally share what was hunting him “Jongin, I think that baby is mine” Jongin’s eyes went as big and round as the moon that night. After talking with his friend Kyung Soo went to his bed not bothering with taking a shower. The energy to be a functional human just wasn’t there. He lied in bed for hours thinking about her. About her happy tears and her warm hug. How he didn’t know too much about her but his feelings were still strong. He hadn’t exchanged a lot of words with her, but he has seen her through the eyes of the people around her. Her co-workers would talk about her a lot during lunch when she wasn’t there. Only words of care and admiration. About her tolerance, how open she was to share her time and knowledge, how good she was putting down small fires, but they never saw her raise her voice or being disrespectful. He also knew about her strength. How brave she was. How formidable she was. A woman who is successful before her thirties and just goes for what she wants, like becoming a single mother, for example, is a woman who behaves like no one. She doesn’t care what others can think. He always liked women like that. He never wanted to be a prince. He wanted to be a comrade in arms.

---

With all the commotion from last night, with her telling Kyung Soo and Jongin about her pregnancy, then hugging Kyung Soo for what felt like an hour and still, it wasn’t enough and then celebrating with her friend, she forgot a very important thing. She was only one month pregnant, and she wished to keep this as a secret until the three-month barrier. She went for lunch with almost all her workers and she was afraid that Jongin or Kyung Soo could make a comment, so she dashed to the front of the kitchen and found them mumbling in a corner, Jongin appeared to be comforting Kyung Soo. She called them so she could talk to them. They both looked at her with wide eyes and Jongin was the only one who could compose himself and come to her “Good afternoon! What is it sis?” She bowed at them and spoke in a hurry “You guys are the only ones who know about my pregnancy, could you keep it a secret from everyone please”

“Yes, of course, don’t worry, are you ok?” “Never been better, thank you” Jongin smiled at her warmly “Is he ok?” She whispered as she saw Kyung Soo walk out of the kitchen “Yes, I mean, he is very tired, but just that, you know business owner and suppliers, paying bills…is very hard, but he will manage, thank you for worrying” She was very worried indeed. She didn’t know Kyung Soo was having a hard time. It was stupid of her not to think that it was hard. He just never showed it. He always looked so stoic that someone could easily forget what he was going through. During lunch she tried to talk to him, but he was busy serving. He didn’t meet her eyes either.

She convinced Junmyeon to go to Chicken Stew for dinner “I was planning on going to the gym” “Why? What could you do at the gym? You are already in shape” He rolled his eyes at her and decided to come with her, he never once said no to her. Neither she “You wanna go see Kyung Soo?” “He was so weird today, he looked distressed and didn’t talk to me once, he was avoiding me” “You think you freaked him out with that hug you gave him” No. No, she didn’t. But know that her friend said it, she felt panic crippling up her back “Oh god, I fucked it up, didn’t I?” His friend was quick to calm her down “No, I was just kidding, he was super into the hug, ask Jongin, you both disconnected from this world, come on, you must have felt it” Her nose crinkled, smiling coyly “I did, you think he likes me” “Ok, let’s stop there, what if it is true, he likes you…so, what are you going to do?” “What should I do?” He looked at her frowning “Friking confess you idiot, or better, wait until you are 8 months pregnant and you can go rolling to his restaurant and ask him for a date” She kicked his shin and when he crunched down to rub the place where she hit him, she slapped his head “I’m being serious! Don’t mess with me!” “I’m not! Confess, what’s the worst thing that could happen uh?” “I feel like the stats are not on my side right now, I could wait a bit more” Junmyeon was going to answer back when his phone buzzed. His cheeks went rose with a smile as he picked up. She knew that face. She was about to go for dinner by herself “Is the girl from the other day?” She inquired with her hands on her hips, he nodded his cheeks still glowing “Ok, go, but if this is serious you better introduce her to me quickly, I don’t want jealous girlfriends” He hugged her quickly and walked away telling her to text him when she gets home. She kept walking, with the intention of still going to Chicken Stew, but her plans changed when she arrived at the restaurant. Through the big window, she could see that the place was full. There was a seat available in the counter in front of the kitchen, but something else stopped her from going inside. Kyung Soo. He was very busy attending tables and serving the dishes. She didn’t want to bother him with conversation. And if he was still tired or in a bad mood, she didn’t want to annoy him. But in reality, it wasn’t just about him. She didn’t want to see him ignoring her and being so weirdly cold towards her like that afternoon. It affected her more than she dared to recognize.

She made sure to go with company every time she went for lunch. In that way, she was busy with work talk rather than looking at Kyung Soo. Winding her head with ways to talk to him about more than what was she going to eat or if she wanted coffee or tea. She wanted to ask him how he was doing. She could ask Jongin, they were close enough to do that. But he was busy all the time. It was Friday, and at lunchtime, she asked Jongin what was the menu for dinner “We are not opening at night today, hyung as something to do at the kitchen” It was clear that Jongin didn’t know how to lie. He was too pure for that. But she acted as she believed him. Curiosity was killing her. She wanted to know why he was lying. That day she left work late. She had a ton of codding to do and she hated doing that at home. Especially now that pregnancy was begging to affect her energy. The office was for working and her house was for sleeping. If she was lucky she was going to be able to catch the last bus. She still had an hour left so she walked to the stop slowly, enjoying the autumn wind. When she passed by 'Chicken Stew' she noticed that the lights of the kitchen were on. She looked inside but couldn’t see anyone and the front door was closed. She walked around the building and found the back door slightly ajar. There was a murmur like music coming from the inside and a low voice singing along. The words sounded a bit slurred but the voice was beautiful. It was clear that no one had broke in to steal anything. She opened the door slowly and let herself in. This was her first time in his kitchen and it was incredibly intimidating. She walked slowly, deeper into the kitchen, looking around, her eyes and ears very aware of her surroundings. She called his name once but no one answered. The voice was still singing. She tried again and this time the music went off and so did the beautiful voice. Someone called her name. It was Kyung Soo. She walked around one of the kitchen counters and found him seating in the floor with an empty bottle of wine next to him and a couple of beer cans. His eyes told her something for sure. He was drunk. He called her name again and followed with a smile “You are here” He said entertained “How are you?” “Better than you I think, Kyung Soo…are you ok?” He shook his head and released a long breath “I’m not ok, I’m not ok at all” She kneeled down next to him, not sure of what to do or say, but at least she could give him some company in his drunkness “Are you having problmes?” “Yes, a huge one” “Can I help you with it?” He shook his head again, looking at his hands  “Is there anything I can do to help you? She insisted and waited a bit for his answer. He went silent, but his breathing and the way his shoulders moved told her that he was crying. She didn’t want to intrude so she just waited for him “There is something you can do…please don’t hate me” “Why would I hate you?” Her hand reached for his shoulder rubbing it “Because I’m…I just…I feel horrible, I shouldn’t tell you but at the same time, I can’t keep quiet, no when I imagine a future with you every night before I go to sleep, no when I can only imagine all the things that I want to cook for you and only for you” He was whimpering, cleaning his tears with clumsy hands. She didn’t know what to say, she was frozen in the spot. She couldn’t believe her ears. He was confesing. Drunk and between tears “Kyung Soo, why are you like this? What is this thing you want to tell me?” “You are pregnant, and you decided to get inseminated for a reason…and I understand, I really do, we are useless, women don’t need us to raise their kids, and if you were another woman I would just keep quite, but I like you and I want to be with you but…I can’t be with you with this secret, this lie hunting me” There was no logical answer in her head to what was going on right now. Her brain was split between trying to understand what had him so sad, process the fact that he said he liked her and what was this secret “Before you say anything let’s sober up a little bit ok? I don’t care what you have to say to me, if you say it drunk you are going to regret it and it could be harder for me to understand, stand up and let me give you some water and a cup of coffee” She tried to lift him holding his arm but he pulled away from her “I’m so sorry, forgive me please”   “Kyung Soo, please come with me and sober up so we can talk ok?” “Your baby” He began and a part of her reacted like a lion feeling attacked. Why was he talking about her baby? “Your child, you wanted to do this by yourself, you went to a clinic and you bought a sample, but this damn fucking world is so small…you had to go and buy from the bank where I sold my sperm right? 1313…why did you have to choose that sample? Tell me, why did you?” “I just liked the description of the donor and…it’s the number of your restaurant” He cursed under his breath, chuckling humorlessly “Yes, it is, the sample 1313 was mine” “Kyung Soo…” “I checked, I thought it could be a huge coincidence, but is not, I’m sample 1313, I’m so sorry” She stood up. This wasn’t good. This wasn’t true. It couldn’t be. This was too messed up. Kyung Soo hid his face on his hands, still sobbing. She didn’t have anything to do there. There was nothing they could do or say now. He was too drunk, and she was too shocked. She walked away, feeling horribly bad to leave him there like that, but she was incapable of doing anything, for him or for her. On her way out she ran into Jongin. They didn’t exchange a word, it wasn’t necessary. He got it immediately. She was thankful that Kyung Soo wasn’t going to be alone.

---

Only a few times before  Kyung Soo felt so helpless. This was probably the third time he got this drunk. First time when he broke up with his first girlfriend, the second time when his restaurant almost goes bankrupt and now this. The worst thing was that drunkenness never took his memories away. So he remembered everything that happened that night at his kitchen. Her worry, his bitter tears, every word he said, her face of horror and the sound of her heels walking away. He felt his chest torn apart when she left. Jongin came to his rescue, but what else could he do. There weren’t enough words of support, who could know how to act in this situation when it was such a bizarre one?

As he suspected, the next week she didn’t come to the restaurant. He waited for her at lunch and dinner but she didn’t appear. He wasn’t planning on going out of the kitchen if she actually went there, but just knowing that she was eating was enough. Only her coworkers came. Junmyeon didn’t appear either. Jongin asked what happened to their coworkers and they told him he was very busy and their other boss was sick. That was the worst answer they could give him. Was she really sick? If so, how sick? Was the pregnancy? Or what he told her stressed her and was now affecting her pregnancy? The worry kept getting into his nerves to the point that he had to throw away a whole pot of pure because he used sugar instead of salt.

After a week of anguish, Junmyeon appeared at lunchtime. He was about to close and there was only one portion left, hers. He greeted him warmly and sat at the kitchen counter “Sorry for coming too late” He told him, but he wasn’t only talking about the closing time “Don’t worry, I have a portion of Chicken Stew for you” “Perfect” Junmyeon waited for his plate and noticed Kyung Soo moving around nervously. He knew what happened that night in the kitchen. She called him first thing in the morning to tell him. It was a situation he couldn’t quite understand. But he did understand how weird and complicated it was. He wasn’t a cruel man. He wasn’t going to wait for his question, he knew how hard could be for him to ask “She has a lot of morning sickness everything she eats gives her nausea so I told her to stay at home” Kyung Soo left his plate on front of him and rested his hands on the counter, letting his head fall. He looked tired, but his shoulders looked relaxed, just a tiny bit. He turned around without saying a word and began washing rice and asked Jongin to peel some veggies. He was cooking for her. Junmyeon felt relieved all of a sudden. He wasn’t sure why he just thought about what a great man he was. Before he was done with his lunch, Kyung Soo had already packed a big portion of rice porridge and steamed vegetables “Could you send her this?” “Sure, I’m going to visit her today, but can we talk?” Kyung Soo sat in front of him, he already knew what he wanted to talk about. He knew Junmyeon was to her what Jongin was for him. He probably knew everything “She told me about the sample thing” “It’s that why she isn't coming?” “Part of it” He decided to be honest with him. He knew his friend and he needed some help “I can’t believe I told her that during those circumstances” “There are things you can’t say sober” He smiled, trying to make him feel better, and Kyung Soo smiled back, but it was clear he was just being polite “How is she?” “Very confused as you must be” “Is she coming back? Is she going to come here again to have lunch?” If his friend didn’t marry Kyung Soo someday, he was willing to do so. He deserved everything anyone could give him “Of course, yes, just give her some time, you use this time too so you can both decide what to do” “Yes, ok…just, could you tell her…I don’t know what I want to tell her” “Don’t say anything, I will give her the food and then when you are both ready you can talk” He didn’t know where all this maturity came from, but he could see Kyung Soo was feeling better, and maybe latter his friend would feel better too “Yes, that’s the best thing to do, thank you” “Don’t worry, and Kyung Soo, this doesn’t have to be too complicated ok? It wasn’t even an accident, it was just destiny” He felt unbelievable thankful for Junmyeon’s words. The least he could do was giving him that meal for free.

---

The next week she didn’t appear either. But this time Junmyeon made sure to tell him that she was better, but the doctor recommended full rest for some signs of miscarriage. Kyung Soo panicked. Jongin held his arm just in case “She is fine, don’t worry, the doctor said it was common, she would be able to come to work next week, please don’t worry, are you ok?” Kyung Soo sat down next to him rubbing his legs and fumbling with his fingers “That caught me unprepared” “I’m being honest Kyung Soo, she is fine now and the baby too, she is just being extra careful” “It’s just…I realized something just now” “Great, that’s good, what did you realize?” He looked at him and Junmyeon knew that this was the line he couldn’t cross. This wasn’t his business anymore. He took back is question. Kyung Soo wasn’t able to sleep well that Sunday. He knew on Monday she will be back at work and back at his restaurant. This was one of those situations where he really wanted to see her but was terrified to do it. He informed Jongin that he wasn’t going to open the restaurant for dinner time. He gave him his silent support and went back to work. The rush hour at lunchtime passed and she didn’t appear. Neither her coworkers so maybe there was something going on at the office. 30 minutes before closing time, they appeared. Junmyeon, the other coworkers and at the tail of the group, her. Jongin helped them put together two tables so they could all sit together and as he did so she walked to the kitchen counter rubbing her hands together and bowing at him. He looked over her shoulder and saw Junmyeon and Jongin standing together looking at them as if they were watching a suspense movie “How are you feeling?” He asked “I’m better now, Junmyeon told me you are aware of what was happening to me, were you worried?” Her voice was soft, filled with uncertainty as if she didn’t know how to talk to him “I was so worried…could we…could we met today so we can talk?” “Yes, sure, of course, I…when? Where?” “Come here when you are done with your work…could you?” “Yes, of course, I will be here around seven” Kyung Soo felt happy for the first time in weeks. Of course, he was still terrified but he could tell she wasn’t mad at him or distant. Her coworkers called her, so she bowed at him and went to heir table. They didn’t talk again after that.

She was punctual, she counted the seconds until it was time to meet him. She didn’t know what would come out from this. She was sure of what she wanted though. A solution for all this. Kyung Soo was waiting for her in front of the restaurant. This was the first time she saw him wearing street clothes. As expected, it was very simple. Dark jeans and a sweater. Stylish sneakers and his signature glasses. He looked very handsome. They greeted politely and Kyung Soo invited her to a coffee a couple of blocks down the streets. He made sure she was comfortable with walking “Is not as terrible as Junmyeon told you” She tried to give him some peace “I had some pain and a bit of bleeding, I went to the doctor immediately and they gave me medicine and whatnots, I spend two days in the hospital just so the baby could be safe and then at was back at home, is very common” “You must have been very scared” How could he know? She made sure to speak nonchalantly, trying to hide how badly that memory made her feel. She was very scared indeed, she was terrified of losing her child “Yes, I was, but I’m ok now, don’t worry” They walked in silence to the coffee shop and Kyung Soo guided her to a private booth. He thought the couch was better to seat down that a wood chair and it was way warmer there. They asked for two cups of tea nothing to eat, she was afraid food could give her nausea and ruin this moment. The cups arrived and the silence was about to swallow them both. Kyung Soo decided to act like an adult, speak with the truth and be honest, especially to himself “I’m so sorry for what happened” “For what are you apologizing? the sample mishap or the drunkenness” She ended with a smile, an honest smile from ear to ear. He giggled and rubbed his neck still embarrassed but not scared anymore “Because let me tell you, you shouldn’t apologize for neither of them” “I shouldn’t have said that drunk, it was so disrespectful” “Thanks to that bottle of wine you opened up to me sooner” She wasn’t wrong “And I prefer it like that…about the sample, it was a coincidence” “Would you have preferred for me to shut up about it” “No, no, I would have hated that, you were right, if we think about a future together, there can’t be a secret like that between us…I don’t think you would have been able to live peacefully holding that to yourself” Kyung Soo felt something like a wrecking ball hitting his stomach “You think about that future too?” She didn’t notice she was recognizing her feelings, she should have prepared for this talk in advance “I do…I like you too, I like you a lot…but the future that worries me right now is the one I’m going to live in 7 months” “I understand that” “Is not that you are not a priority or less important, but…our circumstances right now are complicated” Kyung Soo lowered his stare, looking at his hands organizing what he wanted to say. He wanted to be very clear “I like you too, you already know that, but there are two things between us, the love we feel for each other, and your child and I don’t want to say our child because that would be incredibly rude, I was never part of this equation, as you said, it was a mishap, but that doesn’t take the fact that…I can’t even say it because is not my place, but I want you to know that I would follow whatever decision you make because I’m ready for all the possibilities” “If I tell you that I want you to be the father and take your place in this equation, would you do it?” “Yes” They weight of his answer felt heavy on her chest “I had my doubts before, but when Junmyeon told me about the miscarriage symptoms…I feared for your child” He was still refusing to use the word our. She took her time before saying something. She believed him, but it felt rushed. She wasn’t yet clear with her desition and she was the mother. Kyung Soo couldn't be clearer either. It was so unfair for him. Of course, he would take his place of a father because he was the best human out there, but she always felt like motherhood was natural and fatherhood was a bit of an imposition. It sounded messed up, but that’s how she felt growing up “I don’t want you to make that decision just yet…this is not the optimal circumstance, you just needed the money, I wanted a child, we are in extreme opposites, so I don’t want you to feel forced to do this just because is what your values dictate to you” He made the intent to interrupted her but she stopped him “And I know that you could be driven by your feelings, but is still too soon, we are not even dating” He swallowed thickly. Deep down he felt like this wasn’t going the way he hoped for “As for us…I don’t think is fair for you to date me now” “why would you say that?” She chuckled bitterly “Because I’m pregnant Kyung Soo, the me you will encounter now is different, my mood is going to be weird as hell, my body will change, and I’m not going to be able to give you all my attention” He called her name sweetly “I’m not a child that wants your constant attention” “We don't know that” She joked and they finally laughed together, after a long time of tension “But I understand you…I said this before, it’s your decision “ “If we don’t date, would you still be there, I feel selfish asking you to wait for me…but would you wait for me?” “I was going to do it even if you didn’t ask for it” She felt all shy and giddy, he was so sweet and so good with his words. She felt like lying on the floor and rolling around “How much do you want me involved?” He asked with a tiny bit of confidence “As much as you feel comfortable” “That’s a very open answer” “Is the one I can give you now” Kyung Soo reached across the table and held her hand “Let’s not take more decision for now and let’s see with time, maybe you don’t want me at all or maybe you want my constant company” “Kyung Soo, that’s unfair” She felt like she was using him “It’s not, I’m comfortable like that too, I don’t want to force myself into you…but I have confidence that we will make it through” He squeezed her hand and she put her other hand on top of his “I hope you don’t think I’m not sure about my feeling for you, because I am, especially now, I just think…” “You are being careful, I can understand that…I’m just glad you are not pushing me away” “I’m glad too” The tea went cold as they kept holding hands, talking and trying to reassure each other feelings. She wanted to stay there longer, but he insisted that it was too late, and she needed to go home and rest. She didn’t resist, she liked how he cared for her. The third month passed by and her doctor told her that she was risk-free now. The symptoms weren’t as terrible as before. The nausea went away. But her digestive system was a mess. She never commented this to Kyung Soo, but it was clear that he had made some research because now he was cooking exclusively for her and the menu was fourth month of pregnancy friendly. Her constipation was almost under control and heartburn was a story from the past. One day she thanked him for it and his only answer was “I know how to take care of you” She played his words over her head for the rest of the week. It wasn’t as horrible as she thought it would be. Junmyeon’s new girlfriend was a gift from heaven. She took her out to buy new underwear since her boobs refused to settle in her old bras and would call her asking if she needed girl help wish was code for, help with anything that could make Junmyeon uncomfortable. She thanked every day for the teacher that sat them together in middle school which was the spark that developed their friendship. He was the brother she never had and the support she needed these days. She was so glad that his girlfriend understood their dynamics. Kyung Soo had nothing to envy from her childhood friend. They met during lunch and dinner, and he always took the time to talk to her and he never treated her like a sick person. Not like some of her coworkers. He just wanted to know if she needed something, what the doctor said and how she was feeling. She felt very tired all the time, and there were mornings that she just couldn’t get up. The changes in her blood flow made her feel dizzy most mornings. During those days she would work from home and every time at lunchtime a deliver guy will bring her food. A taste of the food told her that it was Kyung Soo’s. It began with him sending him lunch to her house whenever she didn’t go to work. But then, lunch began arriving at her office. She let it happen twice until she had a talk with him “Why did you do that?” He was chopping carrots as they were talking at the kitchen “Doctor said you shouldn't walk too much” “That's true, but is like a five-minute walk from my office to here and I use the elevator,  I think stairs are my real enemies” “There are stairs over there” he pointed at the street were in fact she had to walk down three steps. She rolled her eyes following him around the kitchen “If I can make your life easier…” “And I'm thankful, but maybe... I want to come here to see you” He came to a sudden halt and she collided with him. He grabbed her by her arms just in case “Oh... You do?” “Yeah” He looked down at his hands holding her and let her go. She liked how he touched her and helped her out of reflex “Ok,  sorry” “Don't apologize, I really really appreciate it, but for now is not really necessary, maybe when I go with maternity leave” He held his hand up, waiting for a handshake “Deal, but at least can I invite you lunch?” “No way Kyung Soo” “Come on!” She rested her hands on her hips and Kyung Soo could already recognize that as a sign that there was no place for debate “I can pay for my food, I would rather you invite that plate of food to someone who really needs it, like you have been doing so far” His eyebrows showed his surprise “How do you know about that?” “It was a secret?” “No, but it isn’t common knowledge either” “I spoke with several people who have been eating here for free, is one of the reasons I like you” Since that serious talk at the coffee shop, they never addressed their feeling again. It was both embarrassing and a bit unnecessary for now. Her confession there was a slip of the tongue. She didn’t regret it though. She knew her confession could make him happy. His bright smile told her so “I wanted to own my business so I could do that” He confessed, walking away from her, a bit shy. She followed him again, eager to know more about it. That afternoon she stayed with him as he prepared something for tomorrow's lunch. That afternoon he confessed that he has been cooking especially for her since they met. She wanted to stand up and kiss him, but she got dizzy again.

---

It was killing her not knowing if she was having a boy or a girl. It didn’t dictate what things she bought in terms of clothing or toys, but she wanted to imagine her child. Start dreaming about the exciting future with her or him. Her next visit to the doctor would be the one that would tell her. She was finally in her 5th month. Her tummy was bigger now, her pants were already a bit uncomfortable so she began using dresses and skirts. She began feeling little butterflies in her stomach, in a beginning she thought it was because of Kyung Soo, but she read somewhere that it was the baby moving. The symptoms weren’t too terrible, the dizziness was the only thing left. And she finally had big girl boobs. Her new bras were no good anymore. Yes, they hurt a bit, but she had a cleavage now. She took the day off that day. More like Junmyeon forbid her from going to work so she could have a calm day and then they could celebrate if he was going to have a niece or nephew. 

--- Kyung Soo woke up from a horrible nightmare with his heart in his throat. In the dream, he saw her and her child inside a glass case. He could see them but they didn’t see him. She was holding her child, but she didn’t look happy. She looked distressed and tired. The baby was sleeping but suddenly jolted in her arms and began crying. She did her best to stop her child from crying, but nothing happened. The baby was turning red and the sound was louder and louder. He wanted to help them. He felt that he could calm the baby. He wanted to take her child in his arms just so she could rest for a little bit, but he couldn’t touch them. He began banging the glass, looking for an opening but the more he hit, the thicker became the glass. He woke up with the sound of his alarm. He couldn’t stop thinking about the dream for the rest of the morning. He was outside his restaurant talking with the guys who brought him the vegetables for the week when Junmyeon walked to him, just to say hi, he was on his way to their office. He immediately asked for her, no shame “I told her not to come to work today, she as a doctor appointment at 10:00” That was in two hours “Ok, then I should send it to her house” “Don’t worry, she normally eats out when she has a checkup…oh! She is very excited because today she will know if it is a girl or a boy” He told him as he walked away in a hurry. Kyung Soo felt for the first time like he needed to be there. He wanted to be there. Of course, it had to do with the nightmare he had that night, but if the dream was a premonitory one, it was clear the glass walls represented himself. He was the one building them and staying away when in reality he wanted to be there. He wanted to know if they were having a girl or a boy. That was the first time he allowed himself to think about an us. He kept repeating to himself that If she needed him, he would go to her. He didn’t even have her personal number, just her secretary’s. Jongin hated that “Hyung, that’s so stupid, I have your number and we are not in love nor I’m expecting your baby, but we are friends, that’s why I have your number saved” He knew his friend was right, but the more he controlled himself, the more comfortable he felt. So he didn’t ask for her number. And she didn’t give it to him. In fact, he got the number of her office from a business card she gave him when she went to Chicken Stew for the first time. But now he wanted to talk to her, he wanted to go to her. He needed to do so. But his stupid self-control was too strong, so he went inside the kitchen ready to start cooking for that day's lunch. Jongin arrived a couple of minutes later merry as always “I met with sis at the subway, she was on her way to the doctor, hyung! Did you know? Today they are going to tell her the sex of the baby, she looked so happy! Although I was wondering, is it safe for her to use the subway?” He was too focused on Jongin’s words to notice that his hand was too close to the skillet, the burn in the palm of his hand woke him up from his long-time delusion that he didn’t need to be there. Instead of applying cold to his hand he took off his apron and began giving instructions to a very confused Jongin “Put everything in the freezer, make sure everything is off and close the restaurant for the day” “Where are you going?” “To see her” he shouted over his shoulder as he walked out the back door. He reached the main street and panicked for a second. What to do now? He had no idea where her doctor was, what her number was. He knew where she lived but it was too late. Her office. Junmyeon could help him. This wasn’t his first time there, so he walked inside Junmyeon’s office quickly, not caring about manners. He didn’t even greet him “I need her number?” “Fucking finally” Junmyeon chuckled a bit exasperated, scribbling the 9 numbers he knew by memory. He gave him the piece of paper and said nothing else, only wished him good luck. On his way out he called her, feeling his heartbeat on his throat. She picked up, her voice doubtful and when he identified himself, she went silent. So he didn’t lose more time. He asked her where she was, she said she was at the bank. She also told him what he already knew. She didn’t comment about what was going to happen in that appointment, but he could hear the excitement in her voice “Can I go with you?” He asked, making sure his voice sounded sure and decided. She didn’t answer immediately which took away some of the confidence he was trying to develop “Are you sure?  You don't need to do this”   “I do, I need to, May I go?” She chuckled in disbelief “I will love it” Kyung Soo released the breath he was holding, and almost felt like his knees would give up. She wanted him there “I will meet you at the hospital ok?” He stopped a taxi and told the driver the address she had just gave him over the phone.  

She sat at the waiting room close to the entrance so Kyung Soo could spot her easily. It wasn’t too crowded, but it helped her with her anxiety. Ten minutes after she arrived, Kyung Soo appeared at the entrance, looking at his phone. He was probably going to call her so she called him instead. He lifted his head confused and when he saw her his smile gave her so much happiness and made her felt so relieved that she had to stand up and met him halfway “Why did you get up? Come here” He locked arms with her and walked her to a line of seats that was empty. She was terrified of uncomfortable silence so she made sure to act normal, as normal as this whole situation can be “How did you get my number?” “I went to your office, and your friend gave it to me” He answered avoiding her eyes looking around with curiosity. She had so many questions. Why the sudden change? Why that day and not yesterday or tomorrow? She was afraid of asking and when she did, her voice was low and shaky “Why are you here Kyung Soo?” He finally looked at her, he was as nervous as she was, but in his eyes, she could see determination “I came because I want to tell you that I want to be here” He grabbed her hand softly, something he hadn’t done since that day they confessed, and they both craved madly “I need to be here, May I accompany you from now on, I know you can and will do all this by yourself, but I can’t” His voice loose strength by the end of the sentence, she didn’t want him to lose confidence or braveness regarding them, so she lain closer to him and kiss him on his cheek, and held there for a while giving him some warmth, clasping his hand harder. She heard him hold his breath for a second and then relax into her. She moved apart a couple of centimeters and whispered a thank you. She had a lot more to say, but this wasn’t the moment. The waiting room of a hospital wasn’t the place either. He looked bemused, but a smile was pulling the corner of his lips “That means I can stay right?” “I really want you to stay” “Great…um…when is your appointment” She looked at her watch, not letting go of his hand “In 30 minutes” “We arrived quite early…are you nervous?” She only nodded, her stare lost ahead. This was something she couldn’t get use to. The fear before every doctor's appointment. She always feared that her doctor would tell her something terrible about her baby. But in the past, her fear showed through locking herself in the bathroom with nausea or dizziness, breathing in and out just to try to calm herself down. She always went by herself. She began this by herself and was planning on finishing it like that. She never complained about the tiny panic attack she got before every appointment. And obviously she didn’t even dare to imagine Kyung Soo giving her company during those times. She should have suspected that his presence would bring some peace. She was still scared, but not terrified. His hand holding hers was warm, soft and it kept her distracted from whatever fear was dancing around her head. Maybe if she was closer he could take away all of the fears. So she moved closer to him resting her head on his shoulder. She thought it could catch him by surprise but on the contrary, he arranged his body so she could rest her head comfortably “Kyung Soo, Why did you call it Chicken Stew?” She needed a distraction for the next thirty minutes, and Kyung Soo was always a great one “Several reasons, it was the first dish I learned how to cook, it’s also my brother’s favorite, all my friends say it’s my best dish and is a dish that is always delicious” “Like your restaurant” “I hope that's the case” She lifted her head, resting her chin on his shoulder “It is, your food is amazing” He thanked her, scratching the back of his ear nervously “You think the baby will be a chef?” Since he was here, wishing to be part of this, they could start thinking about their kid “I doubt it,  I don't think babies can cook, but in the future, who knows” That was what she needed, an explosive laugh, an almost howl that made breathing hard for her, harder than normally “You liked that one?” He asked giggling through his nose “That was so funny, I imagined a baby with your cool apron and a knife” She had to cover her mouth not to bother the other people in the waiting room “My apron is cool?” Not cool, sexy, she thought but kept it to herself.

Her doctor congratulated her on her healthy gain weight and for the good numbers on her exams. She asked all the questions related to her symptoms and then invited her to lay in the bed so they could use the ultrasound “Doctor, before we start, can I go and call my…friend that’s waiting outside” She gave her a signal to go ahead and she opened the door nervously. She asked Kyung Soo to wait for her until she would call him. The conversations between her and her doctor were always way too graphic and she didn’t want Kyung Soo to hear them. But the ultrasound part was different. She wanted him there. He was standing with his hands on his pockets, some tension in his shoulders that could easily translate as nervousness. She called his name softly and he turned around, and with quick steps got inside the doctor's office. He greeted the doctor extremely politely and she invited him to sit next to her. As the doctor prepared her things, she reached for Kyung Soo wrist but he held her hand instead “Are you nervous?” He asked her again, but she was sure he was the only one nervous here. And with good reason, this was going to be the first time seeing their child. She said she was nervous, and asked him back “I think I’m going to fade, I’m so nervous” They laughed together and for the first time she felt completely relaxed at the doctor’s office. “Is he your partner?” The doctor asked as she poured the cold gel in her tummy “No,  but he is the father of the baby” The doctor turned to Kyung Soo with a bright smile “Oh, then congratulations father of the baby... Although I thought this was an insemination... “ She stopped her so she wouldn’t ruin the moment “It's a long story” From now on that was the sentence he would use whenever someone asked what was her relationship with Kyung Soo  “And we don't have a lot of time, I’m glad he is here, let's get to business” The doctor commented and held the probe against her skin. They both held their breaths until the doctor could get a clear image of the baby “So, we always say, it’s a boy if we see turtle and a girl if we see three lines, and in this case” She elongated the last sound as the image of their baby became clearer “We got three lines, you are having a girl” She began pressing buttons on the machine. And gave them some time to take it in. She looked at Kyung Soo but he didn’t meet her eyes. His eyes were stuck on the screen in front of him as the image of their baby kept moving on the screen. Now the image was clearer, head, hands, legs and arms, you could almost see her profile. She saw herself on him, in awe with what was happening. She was sure that for him now everything was clearer. It was like that for her. The moment she saw her baby for the first time was the moment she realized that she had made the right choice. He was probably feeling the same “Her size is right, organs on point, amniotic fluid and placenta are great, that’s all we have for now, a very healthy girl, is that what you were hoping for?” She always said that she would be happy with either, but deep down, or maybe not that deep, she hoped for a girl “Yes, actually, I wanted a girl” “Great! then what about the father, are you happy?” Kyung Soo had his eyes still stuck on the screen and when he spoke, his voice was soft and a bit shaky “She is perfect, our…our daughter is perfect” The doctor chuckled and looked at both of them with care “They all say that, and guess what? They are right” Eventually the doctor had to turn off the ultrasound, not without showing Kyung Soo what they were seeing, what was every shade and shape. When they were back to her desk, he was in a state of elation, to say the least “So, everything is great,  let's keep some precautions,  no stairs or excessive exercise, the baby is great, but this is the first one and inseminations require extra care, keep having your calcium supplements and no sex for at least one more month Ok?” She gasped and looked around awkwardly, Kyung Soo reacted very similarly. She could imagine how funny was for the doctor to watch this insufferable awkward couple “Oh,  so is not that kind of friendship, Ok, let's all move along, any questions?” They were both questionless, so they left the room quickly to avoid any more awkwardness. They were on the second floor, just one set of stairs. She was walking towards them, but Kyung Soo stopped her holding her waist, or what was left of it and turned around to the elevator. She was going to complain, it was only one set of stairs, but she preferred to enjoy being taking care of. In fact, the day was going great, having him there was amazing, better than she could have ever imagined, and going out of the hospital to part ways brought her down quite a bit “You need to go back to the restaurant?” She was determination itself, she was going to keep enjoying the rest of the day with him. She was sure the feeling in her tummy wasn’t her baby moving around her womb “No, I'm not opening today” “You wanna go for a walk?” Asking him didn’t feel as hard as she would imagine “I have a better idea, let's go on a date” Kyung Soo was trying to act cool, but she could see a slight twitch on his lips. He could be nervous or embarrassed. And she felt exactly the same. A hot rush went up her neck and settled in her cheeks. As before, she was sure it wasn’t the pregnancy. She tried to cover her cheeks with her hands, just adding more to the situation “How cute” He commented, imitating the gesture of her hands “Is my blood pressure, the pregnancy makes it weird, I'm not like this because the guy I like asked me out” “How cute!” He commented again between goofy laughs. He took one of her hands, uncovering her face and pulled her with him. He invited her for lunch to a restaurant that he really liked. She was famished and she felt like she could eat at least two dishes. When she told him that, he told her to go ahead. She really liked that. She didn’t do it, but she appreciated the support “I didn’t ask you, I’m still a bit in shock…we are having a girl, you wanted a girl?” There was some awkwardness in his question and it was understandable. She felt the same. Everything was very new and sudden, but she knew he was confident about it. He had show it “Yes, I hate to admit it, but I always imagine myself with a girl, you?” She regretted asking that, of course, Kyung Soo didn’t imagine anything, this wasn’t his plan, men don’t imagine those things. It was one of those women things “Of course the priority is health, boy or girl, if they are healthy is all that matters, but I was so, so happy when the doctor said it was a girl, the possibilities are so many with a girl” Any doubt about Kyung Soo’s intentions coming to the hospital that day was over. She didn’t know if he was there out of guilt, or just trying to do the right thing, but looking at him there in front of her, drinking his coffee with a soft smile on his lips, she knew he was doing this genuinely. She didn’t eat two plates, but she did eat a slice of cake and a chocolate chip cookie. During her pregnancy, she didn’t have a lot of cravings, but her baby really liked sugar “So she is going to be an active girl” Kyung Soo told her when she shared her food preferences with him “Oh no, I was hoping she could be like me, still as a picture, what about you? You ere a good kid right?” “My mom says I was until I went to school, but I was a good kid overall, I never got in trouble” She didn’t think otherwise “Were you a good student?” “No, I hated going to school, you?” “Same, I only liked math class, if it weren’t for Junmyeon who did all my homework and borrowed me his notes I wouldn't have made it…I was smart, but not the kind of smart schools needs” Kyung Soo tapped the table and pointed at her “That’s it! That’s it! We are all smart, but school only cares about one kind of smart, I’m glad you did well though” “We did” Kyung Soo riced his glass of wine and clinked her lemonade. She wished it was a glass of wine too. She sighed heavily drinking her last bit of juice. Kyung Soo asked her what was wrong “Remember when I told you that dating me wouldn’t be fair because the me you will encounter now is different, my mood is going to be weird as hell and all that? Well, that applies to this kind of things too, I can’t go for drinks with you and get drunk, we can’t go for walks because my feet are not dealing well with this pregnancy, we can’t go for long drives because my bladder shrunk, we can’t even kiss because I look huge!” And of course, she followed that statement by shoving the last bit of cookie in her mouth. She was half-joking, half being honest but Kyung Soo just took it seriously. Not completely though,  he wasn't laughing,  but an involuntary smile, maybe a shy smile, kept pulling the corner of his lips as he spoke "When I met you, you weren't pregnant and I liked you, now you are, and I still like you, with all the changes" She knew this time it wasn't the baby moving because she felt the tickles not only in her stomach, also in her chest, back and legs "It would have been perfect if you said that you liked me more now" "I like you more now " She laughed, but he didn't. She didn’t care if he was lying or if it was the truth, it felt amazing to hear that from him and that was all that mattered. Kyung Soo accepted when she offered to pay for the food but made her promise that next time he was paying. She agreed as long as there was a next one. He asked her what she wanted to do now as he held her hand, his body language always clear, the date wasn’t over yet "Since now I know we are having a girl, I feel like buying her a gender-specific something, wanna come with me? " "Really? Can I buy her something too? " "As long as you don't buy her a knife" He took a step closer to her, laughing merrily but stopped rather suddenly as if colliding with something. He stopped laughing and turned his head away. He went shy and uncomfortable all of a sudden. He didn’t let go of her hand but separated from her a little bit, not meeting her eyes until she called his name and pulled him with her to the sidewalk so they could go shopping. She didn’t understand why he acted like that. His change was sudden and caught her off guard. But it didn’t matter now. She was planning on thinking about it obsessively at night, but now she had better things to do, like keep enjoying her date. They walked a couple of street until they reached a strip mall with a baby clothing store. They got in, she was already used to go inside a baby store and buy whatever she needed. The amount of cuteness and little things didn’t shock her anymore. But for Kyung Soo, it was all new. He went straight to the girl section and his eyes moved from one side to the other, his smile a mixture between wonder and happiness. He grabbed a set of baby shoes, each shoe not bigger than a peach. He turned around and showed them to her “She is going to be this tiny?” “Hopefully not tinier than that, you like those?” He nodded looking at them in awe “I’m going to buy them for her” He pulled them closer to his chest and kept looking around the store, constantly commenting on how cute and tiny they were. She let him wander around as she picked a light pink onesie with delicate embroidered around the chest and the hospital bag to put all the things she would need for the day of the delivery. He asked why she needed such a big bag. The bag brought another issue.   Now that he expressed his need to be involved, he naturally had a lot of questions regarding the birth and the previous process. Was she living by herself? By the 8th or 9th month who was going to take care of her? Who was going to take her to the hospital? Was she having a c-section or natural birth? And after that, who was going to help her? The answer to most of those questions was Junmyeon. “He and his girlfriend are planning on taking care of me, the plan is that I will move to his apartment but since he has to work, his girlfriend offered to stay with me. We have the same job, so she is planning on working from home, I think I’m going to move there in a couple of months? I don’t want to invade their space” “I wish I could offer you my place, but I live with Jongin and I work 20 hours a day” She let him know that again, she wasn’t expecting anything from him “But I have enough time now to find someone who can replace me at the restaurant after you give birth, I think I can be more useful there” That sounded so nice. So very nice. Having him there to bring her calm and help when she was going to need it the most. Because now the harder thing to do was tying her shoes and maybe find the right position to sleep. But after their child was born…that was going to be hard with capital h. But still, the idea sounded too unfair for him, before she could refuse, Kyung Soo made her stand in front of her holding to her arms “It’s not unfair for me…I want to be there, please let me be there with you” Did he just read her head? It didn’t matter how bad she could feel for him and his current accidental situation, but if he honestly wanted to be there, she couldn’t deny him that experience. And she didn’t want to say no either. She wanted to be with him. She encircled his waist and brought her cheek closer to his chest. She thanked him. Her voice low as a whisper, her happiness clogging her throat, but she knew he had heard her. He hugged her tight and she felt his lips on her head. He wasn’t kissing her, but it was still warm and scarring in the sweetest way.  There was nothing else to say. He was planning to accompany her. The details could be arranged later, now they could only feel calm and confident that they were there for each other “What else do you want to do in our improvised first date? We already ate and then bought things for our daughter, What other things people do in their first dates?” Has Kyung Soo always being this funny. This was the second time that day that he made her laugh hard enough to make her tear up a little bit “I would love to do more things with you, but I’m so tired, I already walked enough, my feet are a bit swollen” He pulled away from her startled, examining her “Are you tired? Your feet hurt? Are you ok?” His wide eyes looked at her in concern but lost a bit of it when she smiled at him “I’m ok, just tired” “Then I should take you home” Her hands flew to his cheeks, caressing him “How can you always say what I need to hear?” He shrugged, looking down flustered. He was so cute. So incredibly cute. And she loved that of him. But he was also loyal, funny, smart, respectful, mature, the most selfless person she had ever met. Commit to this with her was the biggest proof of it. He stopped a taxi and helped her get inside. He gave the driver her address, and she kind of liked how he knew it by memory after sending her all those meals. The streets were already packed, red lights seamed longer. She took a deep breath preparing for the extra 30 minutes it will take them to go home. The inside of the taxi was warm, the driver was playing some nice jazz and the seats were soft, it was perfect for her tired body. She scooched to Kyung Soo's side and rested her head on his shoulder "Too tired?" He asked with a smile on his mouth "Yes, it was a very exciting day" "We have a long way to your place, rest" He arranged his body so she could rest more comfortably and grabbed her right hand, resting them on his thigh. His warmth sept into her being and comforted her "Kyung Soo keep talking, your voice relaxes me" She knew this could put him in the spot, and she also knew he wasn’t very talkative. But she didn’t need a Ted Talk. A simple description of his last visit to her parent's house, or what he saw on TV would do it. But he gave her more than she expected. He called her by her name all the time. Each question escorted by his voice muttering her name in a unique way. Sweet and familiar. As if he had christened you with it so he knew how to use it. She didn't fall asleep, to interested in Kyung Soo's stories, but her entire body felt energized by his presence and peace. He called her name again and vacillated for a moment before asking her “You think it’s gonna work out between you and me?” “I think it will, what we have is rather young, but I have trust in me and especially in you, why you ask?” He twisted his body to her side so he could cuddle her closer “It’s just…you are ones and zeros and I am fat and salt” “You mean we are different” He nodded “I’m ok with that, but what is really worrying you” She tried to move to look at him, but he stopped her, maybe he wanted a bit of privacy to express his worries “As you said, what we have is young, but there is a lot in the middle, not only our daughter but also how we reach this point, I feel like if this didn’t work it would hurt me so badly…so I wanted some reassurance from you, some extra hope” She wanted to turn around and kiss him, hug him, kiss his face and hug him again, he wanted to give him that hope. But he wasn’t done yet, his grip kept enabling her from moving “My feelings for you came so suddenly and with so much force, I pinned for you for so long, and maybe the way our relationship developed was not normal, but that doesn’t change anything about how I feel for you…I’m so sorry that I’m saying this here, but I guess the closeness gave me some braveness” “Don’t worry…Kyung Soo, If you are determinate to do this with me and at the same time love me and take me as your partner I’m into this too, for what I heard, we have walked the same path, at the same time…I also fell for you hard, and pinned for a while too…my only sin was to rush into doing this, if I have waited a little bit things could have developed normally” He chuckled next to her, agreeing with her, but not shaming her “I wonder…what if the sample I purchased had belonged to another man?...” He was quick to answer “Nothing would have changed, we would be here, In the same place, coming back home after finding out we were having a girl” It felt like a miracle. That moment felt like a miracle. Finding him wasn’t something that could happen as an accident. Someone or something for some reason considered that she was worthy of someone like Kyung Soo and put his restaurant on her path, and made her set her eyes on his folder at the fertility clinic. Nothing could be a coincidence. It was a miracle. She released his hand and passed her arms around his waist hugging him tightly. She was afraid of speaking, she might cry and turn this into a very cheesy movie. So, she only hugged him, she knew it was enough. As she predicted, it took them almost an hour to arrive home. She wasn’t tired any more thanks to the very fulfilling trip. The driver wished them a good night and good luck with the birth of her baby. It was very nice how everybody was somehow nicer with you when you were pregnant. They got inside the building holding hands, she was a bit cold so he made sure to bring her inside quickly. They kept chatting on the elevator, a part of her head a bit nervous about having Kyung Soo in her house, but calm. Kyung Soo looked relaxed, so that spread to her. She opened the door and Kyung Soo held it open so they could go inside. She tried to kick her shoes off but her laces were a bit too tight and crunching down to untie them was a bit of a shore “I will help you” He got down in one knee and undid the double knots of her shoes. He did it quickly and she stood in the step of the entrance waiting for him to get rid of his own shoes. She stared at the top of his head and her chest felt this yearning that was hard to understand or control. It was suffocating  “Kyung Soo?” He hummed his response, leaving his shoes next to hers, feeling at home “Before, when we were outside the restaurant, were you going to kiss me?” She felt a bit guilty for attacking like that, but his face was kind of priceless. Like a kid who was caught stealing candy. She waited for him until he could look at her “I wanted to,  but I thought it wasn't the right time” She imagined that much, the way he stopped himself was very clear “What about now? Is the right time?” She did her best to sound flirty, playful so he could relax, so he could see that these kinds of things don’t need that much thinking. And it worked because he laughed and looked up at her “It... I think... It is” Perfectly synchronized, as she moved her arms to his shoulders, he passed his around her waist. She liked the position, she was a bit taller since she was standing on the doorstep so he could look at his face perfectly, the right angle. His adoring gaze and an amused grin. There was a bit of nervousness, but how not to. She was sure she was looking at him with the exact same eyes. She tangled her fingers in her short hair, pulling him closer as she leaned down. She felt goosebumps over her skin when his breath fanned her lips. Her heavy eyelids closed when she finally felt his soft lips against hers. She lost the ability to breathe for a moment, not only for the shock but also because she focused on his kiss. She engrossed herself on his kiss so she could enjoy it and remember it for the years to come. If he could describe the kiss, she would describe it as Kyung Soo. It was just the kind of kiss she would expect from a man like him. It was paced, but deep. His lips warm, soft and enchanting. He was also playful, nibbling her lower lip and tugging it sensuously, as his hands slid up her back pulling her as closely as he could. It was new, but it felt safe. It was just like him. He kissed her slowly, making it last. The kiss was short but it felt longer. His eyes opened up slowly, looking up at her. They shined like she had never seen before and pulled her in. She followed them and kissed him again, just pecking them a couple of times. It made him smile and that was all she wanted. He was so close to her. Her hands moved to his nape caressing him, making him sight in contempt and then she framed his face, caressing his cheeks that felt warmer all of the sudden, maybe for feeling observed so closely by her “I was waiting for that” She whispered, caressing the corner of his lips “But I’m glad we waited for it” “We do everything backward uh? First I got you pregnant, then I kissed you” She snorted embarrassingly, making him laugh too “Should we get married tomorrow and then date?” He asked, and she only laughed. He tucked himself tighter, resting his head on her chest and she cradled him naturally between her arms, caressing his head “How can I get so lucky? although you might not feel the same, this was never your plan” She commented, although it was more like thinking out loud. She wasn’t expecting an answer “It wasn't, but I feel lucky too, I feel very lucky” She took a deep breath, the emotion clinging to her throat. She thanked him with a string of voice and he looked up at her, thanking her too. About 15 minutes had passed and they were still at the threshold, so she invited him in, holding his hands and pulling him in. She showed him around her flat, especially the room of their daughter. He was very interested in watching her tiny toys and tiny clothes. They shared a cup of tea in the living room as the night came. It was almost dinner time. She was hungry already. Double hungry “Should I prepared us something? Should we order?” She offered, just trying to be a good hostess. He looked a bit displeased, not to say offended “I can cook you something” He was already walking inside the kitchen “Really?” “Yeah, really, what do you want?” She didn’t need to think too much about it “Chicken stew, I love your chicken stew” He turned around grabbing her apron and tightening around his waist “Chicken stew it is” He grabbed her by the waist and kissed her on the cheek and then for the first time rested his hands on her belly. She had felt her baby move around the entire afternoon, the normal fluttering feeling, but for the first time, she felt a kick. A deaf thud, not a jab, but close. She jumped in surprise. They both looked at her belly and then up. They didn’t say a thing, it was clear what just had happened, and she was so glad he felt it too. He moved his hands over her stomach, slowly and with much care. And it happened again. She yelped in surprise. And he laughed merrily, that cute goofy laugh she loved so much. They stayed like that, looking at her tummy for a long time. Kyung Soo was silent, but he didn’t need to say anything to show how happy and dumbfounded he was. She wanted to say something but wasn’t sure what to say. She brought his head up, holding his face with care. Between all the emotions they felt at that moment, there was one that she felt a long time ago but it was new for him, for sure. That tiny movement that felt like an explosion for her was that last proof that all this was real. And that day Kyung Soo not only had felt the baby move but also saw her daughter for the first time. He must have felt like a soup of feelings, from happiness to fear. She knew that feeling well “We can order something to eat” She offered again, thinking he could have a hard time focusing, but he shook his head with decision “No, no way, now I have to cook for the three of us” He caressed her tummy for the last time, and the baby only moved around, she could feel it but was sure that he couldn’t. He kissed her on the lips, a soft peck that could still make her blush and then turned around, opening her well-stocked fridge. He told her to go to the living room and seat on her sofa. She was sure that for at least thirty minutes Kyung Soo would be completely focused on his cooking. On making his warm, healing and delicious Chicken Stew.

-END-

Notes: Last story from the trilogy. It took me a while, you know why, so thank you for the constant support. 

I saw this story somewhere before. A single mom that got inseminated meets a guy and they get married. Then her child needs a transplant or something, they make blood tests and stuff and bang! He was the real dad all along!!! That inspired this story. 

Because of my career, I know a lot about the development of the fetus in the womb, but little about how the moms feel, so thank you to planned parenthood.org for all the answers. 

Also, I don’t want kids.

[ahtohallan-calling]

chapter 5 of don’t read the last page is here!

[kristanna / m / multichap / modern au with actress!anna and vetstudent!kristoff]

He’d put the phone down on the counter while he made breakfast, but now that his hands were free again he still didn’t pick it up; after their initial awkward phone call, they’d started FaceTiming instead, and as much as he loved seeing her face, he was really glad she couldn’t see his right now.

“And I was soo confused, so I started telling her, like, ‘Seriously, Honey, he’s got this amazing blond hair that you just like, want to touch all the time and these big brown eyes and little freckles and plus I’m pretty sure he’s kind of ripped and I—‘ Kristoff, I heard the microwave go off already. Are you hiding from me?”

“No,” he muttered, his face turning even redder.

chapter 5

day 1

Sven was just stumbling into the kitchen when Kristoff came in. He frowned, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

“You look really happy for someone who just dropped off their girlfriend at the airport for a six-week trip,” he said, pouring a glass of chocolate milk. 

“Not my girlfriend.”

“Not the important part of that sentence.”

Kristoff snagged the bottle and poured himself a cup. “This is mine, by the way, so you owe me.”

“Fine, I’ll buy toilet paper l-- no, I know you, Bjorgman, you’re trying to distract me.”

Sven narrowed his eyes further, fixing Kristoff with a hard stare. He tried to look as innocent as possible as he went to rummage through the fridge, but then he remembered the way Anna had clung to him, the feel of her little hands in his hair, the press of her lips against--

“Oh my god! You kissed her!”

Kristoff stood, not bothering to hide his smile anymore. “Well, technically, she kissed me.”

“I fucking called it, man, I knew you wouldn’t be able to hold off that much longer.”

“We really did try.”

“You didn’t even make it a week, my guy,” Sven said amiably, meandering into the living room. “You tried harder at Mario Kart the other night. Which, by the way, I know you lost on purpose so Anna could win.”

Kristoff considered arguing, but then his phone lit up with a text from Anna, so instead he grinned and walked away to the sound of Sven sighing dramatically. “I heard that buzz! I know it’s her! Jesus, I’d say get a room, but--”

Kristoff didn’t hear the rest as he shut his bedroom door.

kris!! theres wifi i can text you

Im in first class look 

..

That’s crazy

They gave you champagne this early in the morning?

..

supposed to be for mimosas

but it’s like 5 o clock somewhere

specifically romania so

..

That jet lag is going to be rough.

How long is your flight?

..

10 hrs to london then 3 to bucharest💀

but i think my seat turns into a bed so ill try to sleep

theres sooooo many movies tho!

omg theyre bringing more snacks….i feel like a movie star already

..

You kind of are.

..

havent made the movie yet!!

oh the director is here he wants to talk ttyl

..

:)

---

day 4

For some reason, her hands were shaking as they hovered over the green button. “Just do it, Anna,” she muttered to herself. “It’s just Kristoff. He told you to call.”

Thanks to the time difference and long flights, it had taken most of two days to even get here, and on her first full day in Romania she’d been so overwhelmed with the film set and meeting her co-star Adam and talking to the directors and producers and costumers and cameramen that she’d completely crashed the moment she’d gotten back to her hotel room. She’d woken up in the middle of the night and sent Kristoff a quick text apologizing for not calling; he’d responded almost immediately, reassuring her that it was fine and to just call him the next day. At a reasonable hour, he’d made sure to add, not at 2 A.M. Go back to sleep.

She had, and then she’d nearly missed her alarm and hadn’t had time to call him in the morning, and then she’d been filming her first scene and been so overwhelmed by all of that that now it was nearly six o’clock, and it was the first time she’d gotten to look at her phone all day.

He’d texted her once at around 9 A.M. her time. Good luck today! You’ll kill it. Her heart had done a funny little flip at the message, simple as it was; every time she thought of Kristoff, it didn’t feel quite real, like it was just a daydream she would wake up from, but here it was, concrete proof that even literally halfway around the world-- more than halfway, actually-- he was still thinking of her, still caring about her.

The remembrance of that was what finally gave her the courage to hit call. She felt too nervous to FaceTime him, especially considering she was already in sweatpants and halfway through eating a bowl of pasta on her bed. He picked up on the third ring, sounding breathless for some reason.

“Hey! Anna! How are you?”

“I’m, um, I’m good! How are you? You sound kind of...out of breath?”

“Oh, yeah, you caught me at the gym, so I--”

“Oh! I’m so sorry, let me hang up and--”

“No, don’t! I’m almost done, just--”

There was a quick beep in the background, and a whirring noise she hadn’t noticed until now stopped. “Okay, sorry, we’re good.”

She couldn’t help but imagine what he looked like right now, with his hair hanging in his eyes and sweat dripping down his very well-muscled--

“Anna? You there?”

He’d just asked her something, but she’d been too busy daydreaming to catch it. Maybe it really was for the best she hadn’t gone for FaceTime; she probably would have been struck speechless at the sight of him. “Sorry, I was just-- sorry. Um. What did you say?”

He laughed softly. “I asked how your first day of filming went.”

“Oh! It was good, really good, actually. We filmed that scene I auditioned with, actually. They changed the bit about the cowboy boots.”

“Thank god. I don’t know anything about movies, but I know that was awful.”

“Oh, yeah, Adam-- that’s who’s playing Jesse-- he said they’d have to double his paycheck if they wanted him to say shit like that, and then we kind of improv-ed something else and it went really well.”

“That’s awesome!”

Anna felt herself blushing, just barely, at the sound of the genuine pride in his voice. “It was, um, it was nothing, really.”

“So how’s all of it going? Are the...um...honestly, I don’t know who all is involved in making movies. But are the other people nice?”

“Yeah! I really like the girl who does my hair and makeup, her name’s Honey. Isn’t that cute?”

Kristoff laughed; she could hear him starting the car in the background. Anna bit her lip. “Oh-- did you get to shower?”

“I will at home, don’t worry. Anyway--”

“You need to focus on driving? Yeah, I totally get it, seriously. Bye!”

She hit the red button and quickly dropped her phone. Her heart had been pounding the whole time; god, she was really out of practice with this whole thing. Embarrassment swept over her, and she buried her face in her knees; how the hell was this going to work when she was too self-conscious to talk to him for more than five minutes? God, she’d be lucky if he ever bothered to call her again after this.

To her surprise, the phone buzzed only a moment later. She debated picking it up for a long moment, then decided to go ahead and rip the bandaid off and snatched it up.

Just FYI, I was feeling really nervous, too. Want me to call you back after I get home and shower?

For some reason, tears started to fill her eyes as she typed a response. 

yes please :)

She showered, too, taking her time as she let the hot water work its magic on the tension in her shoulders, drawing in slow, deep breaths to steady herself. It wasn’t that every guy she’d ever dated had been bad, per se, just that it had been quite a long time since she’d been with someone who made her feel this nervous and excited and terrified and joyful all at once-- actually, now that she thought about it, she didn’t know if she’d ever liked someone else this much right off the bat. Since coming to L.A. almost two years ago, she’d had a string of bad luck with men, and it was strange readjusting to the notion that one would want to talk to her as much as she wanted to talk to him, that he actually wanted to hear about her day, that he saw right through all her embarrassing little defense mechanisms and somehow knew just what to say to make her feel better. Of course they knew each other, but this was something different, something more, as if she didn’t even have to say something for him to understand.

Her phone buzzed again ten minutes after she got out of the shower; with a smile, she picked it up.

“Hey, Kris.”

“Hey, Anna.”

“Ready to try again?”

“With you? Always.”

---

day 9

“So I was telling her, like, ‘I wish I had a recent picture of him to show you because he’s like, super super hot.’ And she kind of made this face and was like ‘that won’t make a difference.’”

He’d put the phone down on the counter while he made breakfast, but now that his hands were free again he still didn’t pick it up; after their initial awkward phone call, they’d started FaceTiming instead, and as much as he loved seeing her face, he was really glad she couldn’t see his right now. 

“And I was soo confused, so I started telling her, like, ‘Seriously, Honey, he’s got this amazing blond hair that you just like, want to touch all the time and these big brown eyes and little freckles and plus I’m pretty sure he’s kind of ripped and I—‘ Kristoff, I heard the microwave go off already. Are you hiding from me?”

“No,” he muttered, his face turning even redder. 

Anna giggled. “Then show me your face.”

He did so reluctantly; to his surprise, she didn’t laugh. “Kris, you know you are, like, super handsome, right? Seriously.”

“I’m, um, I’m just gonna—“

“I mean it. Like I get why you’re feeling shy about it and stuff but just know that, okay?”

He only nodded, feeling a little better, although his face was still heated. Anna, knowing when to leave well enough alone, smiled at him and continued her story. “Anyway, I told her all that and she just started laughing, and finally when I was done she was like ‘Anna, I’m gay’. And so then I showed her a picture of my sister, and I’m just saying, when we’re back in LA, we’re definitely doing a double date.”

—-

day 15

She didn’t know why she felt so nervous about telling him about it. She’d already texted him that morning telling him what scenes they were filming, and it wasn’t like it had meant anything; it was just part of the movie, and Adam was married anyway— but then again, it wasn’t that part that had really been bothering her. She still wasn’t sure until she was explaining it all to Kristoff, forcing herself to maintain eye contact as she held up her phone inside the blanket nest she’d constructed on her bed. 

“And like, he and I are good friends now, so that at least made it easier. And we were all in character and stuff, so, you know, it felt right, and then they started the fake snow going and we just did it, you know?”

“Uh-huh,” Kristoff said, his voice neutral. 

“That like— this doesn’t bother you, right?” she asked quickly. “Because seriously, it didn’t mean—“

“Anna, I know. This is literally your job, I’m not jealous or anything. But please tell me if I ever make you feel like I’m mad or something, because I’m seriously not.”

She let out the breath she’d been holding. “I— I know. I just...wanted to make sure. Because it still, like...still felt weird to me, you know? And I can’t figure out why.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “Have you done this before? Like, stage kissing and stuff?”

“Oh, yeah, lots of times. But this time felt kind of different. I just don’t know why.”

He considered it for a moment, looking so thoughtful she couldn’t help but smile, feeling a little flutter in her chest at the thought that he really and truly cared about helping her figure this out. “Enough about me, though, tell me about that crazy to-go order you texted me about. Did you end up getting to see the person who’d ordered it?”

They talked for so long Anna lost track of time, until she yawned so widely Kristoff stopped talking mid-sentence. 

“Anna, what time is it there?”

“Um...close to eleven?”

“What time did you get up this morning?”

“...four.”

He laughed softly. “Get some sleep. I’ll talk to you again tomorrow morning, okay?”

She wanted to argue, but honestly she’d been fighting to keep her eyes open for the last half hour. “Night, Kris.”

“Night, Anna. Sweet dreams.”

He said that every night, but the way he’d smiled tonight— she was thinking about it until long after she’d hung up her phone and closed her eyes. Then, suddenly, she sat upright and snatched it up again, typing furiously. 

figured it out...before, there’s never been someone i ACTUALLY wanted to kiss instead 

..

:)

I wish it had been me, too. 

—

day 21

hey kris!!! sorry i know it’s the middle of the night there so i hope this doesn’t wake you up but i set an alarm on my phone for the exact time and as of like 10 seconds ago we’re halfway there!!!!!!! 😊😊😊

To her surprise, a response came just a few minutes later. 

:) Knew we could do this.

—

day 23

“I got my class schedule today.”

“Yeah? Show me!”

He held it up awkwardly to the camera, and she squinted at it. “Oh, wow, that’s a lot of blocks. Are you still going to work at Starbucks?”

“Yeah, I’ve been there the whole time I’ve been in school. Just work less hours on weekdays, usually pick up some early morning weekend shifts.”

“Oh, that sucks.”

He shrugged. “It works out. I, uh, I’ve got some scholarships that cover most of my tuition, so then it’s, y’know. Rent money and stuff.”

Anna frowned, feeling suddenly acutely aware of how much money she was making for a lot less work. “Will you have, like...any free time?”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” he said quickly, suddenly sounding nervous. “I promise I’ll still have time to hang out with you and stuff, just--”

“No, no that’s like-- shit, that’s not what I meant, Kris, I mean I kind of did but like-- I’m not trying to like, pressure you or--”

“No, I get it, I--”

“No, I mean like school is way important and you like--”

“Seriously, when I say we can--”

Anna took a deep breath. “Okay. You talk first.”

“I, um. I don’t want you to think, like, I won’t make time for you or something, though. Um-- that was all.”

She smiled, wishing she could be there in person; it was so much easier to reassure him when she could just squeeze his hand. “Seriously, that’s not what I meant. I was just worried about you, ‘cause that’s, like, a lot of stress. So if there’s anything I can do to like, help or whatever, just...just let me know. Like...with anything.”

“Seriously, I think it’ll help a ton to just have a pretty girl keeping me company while I study.”

She felt her cheeks turn pink. “What if I end up wanting to distract you?”

Now she wasn’t the only one blushing.

---

day 30

“Miss you.”

“Miss you, too.”

Tonight, there wasn’t really anything else to say.

—- 

day 34

He’d stopped leaving his phone on silent overnight; it was silly, really, but he always had a tiny fear that maybe something would happen over in Romania while he was asleep, and maybe Anna would need to reach him, and there probably wouldn’t be anything he could actually do...but still.

Despite that, though, it still took a lot to wake him, so when his phone went off one night close to three in the morning, he nearly missed the call. “Hello?” he mumbled sleepily, putting it to his ear.

He heard a familiar little giggle. “It’s FaceTime, Kris. I’m sorry to wake you up, I just-- I really wanted you to see this.”

“Oh-- hang on.” He fumbled for his glasses on the nightstand, sliding them on and blinking blearily at the screen. “Um...where are you? I just see, like...the ceiling?”

“Oh-- that’s cause I gave my phone to Honey, just a second, and she’ll show you.”

The phone was lifted up suddenly by a pretty woman with bronze skin and dark hair thrown up into a bun. “Nice to meet you, Anna’s boyfriend.”

He wondered if she could see him blush even in the dark room. “Nice to meet you, too.”

“Okay, okay, I’m ready!” he heard Anna chirp from somewhere. “Turn the camera!”

Honey did with a laugh, and Kristoff sat upright, his eyes wide. Anna was in a deep blue ballgown that fit perfectly to her torso before flaring out into a long, shimmery skirt. Her hair was down, set in curls that shone especially bright against the dark color of the gown, and she was smiling so brightly he thought his heart was going to burst.

“You look beautiful, baby,” he said, half-convinced he was still dreaming.

She was quiet for a moment, and then he realized she was blushing bright red. He heard Honey giggle, and then the phone was being handed back over to Anna. “You’ve never called me that before.”

“What, beautiful? I definitely--”

“No, I--” Her blush deepened. “Kris, are you wearing a shirt?”

He glanced down. “Oh-- uh, no, I’m not. Sorry, I didn’t think you’d be able to see without the lights--”

A mischievous glint was twinkling in her eye. “Trust me, Bjorgman, there’s nothing to apologize for.”

Now he was blushing, too. “Um-- so you’ve got to be filming something special today, right?”

“Yeah, the big ballroom scene. I just...I really love this dress, and the way Honey did my hair and stuff, and I, um...I wanted you to see.”

He smiled softly. “I’m glad. You really do look so, so beautiful.”

She opened her mouth to say something else, but then he heard Honey call, “Hey, Anna, say bye to the boyfriend, they want you on set in five.”

Anna turned back to the camera, looking suddenly nervous. “Kris, are you my boyfriend?”

“Do you want me to be?”

“Yeah.”

He grinned, no longer sleepy. “Okay.”

Anna laughed. “Okay?”

“Hey, it’s still the middle of the night, and I’m still kind of speechless after seeing you in that dress. Cut me some slack.”

“Go back to bed. Sorry I woke you up.”

He yawned. “I’m not.”

---

day 40

“Look! All packed!” She grinned, turning her phone quickly around the room to show off her only slightly overstuffed suitcases. “And ready to come home!”

“Do you think you’ll miss it?”

“No, I mean...it’s beautiful and all here, but it’s still not home.”

Kristoff grinned at that. “You still want me to pick you up from the airport?”

“Um, is that even a question?”

He laughed. “Just making sure! I mean, six weeks is a long time, don’t know if you got tired of me.”

“Kristoff, the second I get back to LA, I’m like, jumping on you again and kissing the fuck out of you.”

He waggled his eyebrows. “And then?”

She could tease him, too. “And then you’d better hurry the hell up and take me back to your apartment so I can show you how much I missed you.”

“....Jesus Christ. Why does waiting two more days suddenly feel so much longer than the other forty?”

[noona-clock]

Which One? Ji Soo - Part 6

Genre: Coffee Shop!AU

Pairing: Ji Soo x You

Warnings: Use of the word ‘Soccer.’ I know non-Americans hate it, and I apologize. But I am American. What can I say? 🤷‍♀️ Oh, and also mentions of alcohol.

Prologue, Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, Epilogue  | Words: 3,951

“Go out?” you asked, your own voice sounding foreign to your ears. It was a bit squeakier than normal, but... what about this situation was normal?

Ji Soo, a very handsome coffee shop owner, had just asked you out.

I mean, you’re pretty sure he was asking you out!

And, like... you couldn’t stress enough just how handsome he was.

So... definitely not your average Saturday night.

“Yeah,” Ji Soo assured you with a nod. “Go out. Like... get dinner? Or see a movie?”

Yeah, he was asking you out.

But there was just one thing stopping you from saying ‘yes’ immediately.

“Do you... have time to go out?” 

Ji Soo chuckled softly, his lips tilting into a half-grin. “I, uh -- I asked Joo Hyuk to cover for me tomorrow night. Last Sunday was pretty slow. I guess people don’t want all that caffeine before they have to wake up on Monday morning.”

Oh, wow, that made your heart flutter. He had prepared for this and everything!

You opened your mouth to say that you would love to go out with him tomorrow night, but -- you stopped yourself.

Because there was just one problem.

“I... actually already have plans tomorrow night,” you said, your brow furrowing. “There’s a game at 7, and I have season tickets, so --”

“A game?” Ji Soo asked. He was clearly confused by what you’d just told him. “Season tickets? What kind of game?”

You weren’t surprised by how surprised he sounded. You were kind of a technology geek, so why on Earth would you enjoy sports?

“Soccer,” you explained with a tiny smile. “The Tigers. I have season tickets. My dad passed down his love of the game to me, and one of the first things I bought with my first real paycheck was a season pass.”

The expression on Ji Soo’s face was still one of confusion, but now there was some amusement mixed in there. “Huh,” he nodded. “Soccer. I had no idea.”

For a split second, you felt bad because you had to turn him down... but then you suddenly had an idea. You gasped slightly, your eyebrows shooting halfway up your forehead.

“Do you want to come with me?” you asked excitedly. “I can see if the seat next to me is open.”

Ji Soo also raised his eyebrows, and you thought maybe he would decline, but the grin tugging at his lips gave you hope. “Yeah? Yeah, of course, I would love to come. That sounds awesome, actually.”

Your heart fluttered for probably the ten thousandth time tonight, and you had to bite your lip to keep from smiling like the biggest goofball.

“It starts at 7,” you told him, clutching your laptop to your chest. “Should I pick you up here at 6? We can get food at the stadium.”

Ji Soo slid his hands into his pockets, and even though you couldn’t be absolutely sure, you had an inkling that the expression on his face was just as hopeful and giddy as yours.

“That sounds good,” he nodded. “I’ll be waiting outside right at 6. I know how you like to be on time.”

Oh, boy. First, he had prepared ahead of time to go on a date with you. And now he was promising to be on time because he knew that’s what you like?

The date wasn’t for another 21 hours, but you were already labeling it The Best Date Ever.

“Yes, I do,” you agreed with a soft laugh. “You’re right.”

“You should probably get used to saying that, by the way,” he said casually, taking one hand out of his pocket and reaching out to open your car door for you.

“Saying what?”

“You just said I was right,” he clarified. “You should get used to saying that because I’m right 99.9% of the time.”

You shot him a look which clearly said ‘Oh, yeah, right.’

“It’s true!” he argued, his eyebrows raised earnestly. “You’ll see, it really is true.”

You turned and ducked into your car, setting your laptop on the passenger seat and your bag down on the floor. “Okay, whatever you say,” you sighed, biting back a playful smirk.

“Drive safely,” he said as he leaned slightly against your open door. “Let me know when you get home?”

“I live less than ten minutes away,” you reminded him, chuckling softly but also awkwardly. It had just been such a long time since anyone besides Jane had made a request like that.

“Yeah... but still. Let me know.”

“I will,” you assured him with a nod. And just before you got into your car, you added a quiet, “See you tomorrow.”

Once you were fully and safely seated behind the wheel, Ji Soo gently closed your door and stepped back to allow you to reverse out of the parking spot. He stayed there as you drove away, lifting up one hand in a wave as you pulled out of the lot.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy, oh, boy.

A date.

Tomorrow.

With Ji Soo.

Obviously, the first thing you did after you got home -- besides texting Ji Soo about your safe arrival, of course -- was call Jane.

You had barely gotten a whole sentence out before her high-pitched squeals filled the air. And your ear canal. You literally had to pull your phone away to protect your eardrum.

“I TOLD YOU!” she cried. “Didn’t I tell you?!”

“Yes, you told me,” you sighed, remembering just the other day when Ji Soo said ‘I told you so’ about your car troubles.

...Okay, now that you thought about it, Ji Soo and Jane were almost eerily similar. They both loved to tease you, they both were quick to point out when they were right, they were both incredibly kind and sweet, they both made you laugh, and... they both made you feel good about yourself.

When they weren’t embarrassing you, of course.

No wonder Jane had been able to predict the course of events between you and Ji Soo. They were practically the same person!

“And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed,” you told her as you held back a huge, goofy grin.

“Gotta get some beauty rest before the big day tomorrow,” Jane squealed. “Not that you need it, but it’s always a plus to use a little less concealer. Night!”

“Good night, Jane,” you murmured affectionately before hanging up the phone.

After you got ready for bed, you settled in under the covers and got out your phone to look for Ji Soo’s ticket for the game tomorrow. Even if you couldn’t find one right next to you, you could trade yours out and find two together easily enough.

Just as you pulled up the ticket app, though, you got an Instagram notification.

TheMugShop (The Mug Coffee) is now following you.

Ooooooh.

You hastily pressed the banner alert, and your phone switched over to the Instagram app, heading straight to TheMugShop’s profile. First things first, you clicked ‘Follow back’ right away. They only had three followers so far (most likely Ji Soo, Joo Hyuk, and now you), but you were sure that would change fairly quickly.

Their bio read:

        The Mug, your favorite locally-owned coffee shop. ☕️         7a - 9p

        all photos taken by @yourusername 

And, to your surprise, there was already a picture posted. It was the picture you and Ji Soo had edited together tonight, one of a green tea latte since it was your beverage of choice (and because the green color was just so pretty) so you quickly clicked on it.

The caption made you both roll your eyes and laugh out loud.

“🍵❤️we like you a latte ❤️🍵come visit from 7-9 and try our green tea latte, a customer favorite”

You would bet five bucks Ji Soo had come up with that. You’d have to remember to ask him tomorrow.

Here’s a question for you:

Why are dates always in the evening?

Most of the time, people are nervous to go on a date. Especially a first date.

So, why would you subject yourself to going through almost the whole day waiting to meet up? Why would you spend hours and hours in anxiety? Why didn’t people just say ‘Hey, let’s meet for breakfast’?

Maybe you would start a new trend. Morning dates!

Except it was too late now. You’d bought a ticket for Ji Soo for the game tonight, and you couldn’t very well change the kickoff time.

If tonight went well, you would bring it up for a second date. Although, you weren’t sure when a second date would happen. Ji Soo worked at the coffee shop every single day from 7-9 -- or at least, for now. They couldn’t afford to pay you to take pictures for them, so surely they couldn’t afford to pay a part-time employee.

To be honest, though... you didn’t care. You were more than happy to just go to the shop, have a drink, and see Ji Soo, even if just for a few minutes at a time. 

But you were getting a little ahead of yourself.

You would see how tonight went and then start worrying about the future.

Somehow -- some way -- you managed to get through the better part of the day without freaking out. You cleaned up the rest of your place since you’d cleaned up your kitchen yesterday, and that alone successfully distracted you for most of the morning and afternoon.

Plus, you kept busy keeping up with the Tigers on Instagram, watching videos of them getting ready to play and getting hyped for the game.

By 5:45 that evening, you were all set and ready to go, donning your team jersey with your favorite player’s name and number on the back, as usual.

You were semi-fine -- meaning not extremely nervous -- until you turned into The Mug’s parking lot and saw Ji Soo waiting by the entrance for you.

Oh, god.

When you pulled up to the front, Ji Soo lifted a hand and grinned at you. He opened the passenger door once you stopped and slid into the seat.

“Hey,” he greeted, sounding far less nervous than you felt at the moment.

“Hello,” you replied. Since you were behind the wheel, you had an excuse not to look over at him. You’d basically seen him as he’d stood outside the shop, and you could tell he looked extra good tonight. You weren’t sure how that was possible, but... apparently, it was.

“How are you?” he asked as he reached back to grab his seat belt.

“I’m excited for the game,” you told him. You decided to leave off the fact you were nervous for the date.

“You’re not nervous for the date?” he asked. You didn’t even need to look over at him to know he was smirking.

Of course. Of course, he knew what you were thinking. He was your best friend in male form!

You felt your cheeks warming as a shy smile tugged at your lips, and you shook your head slightly in disbelief. “Well, yes,” you admitted. “But it’ll be fun.”

“Yeah? I’ve never been to a game before, so I’m curious.”

“Wait, really? You’ve never been to a game?”

“Nope.”

“Like any soccer game?”

“Any soccer game,” he confirmed with a chuckle. “Joo Hyuk has, but apparently, it takes a pretty girl to convince me.”

Awesome. Not even five minutes into the date, and you were already blushing wildly.

“They’re really fun,” you assured him, trying to hide a shy grin. “I mean, I think they’re really fun. Obviously. Hopefully, you’ll have a good time.”

“Oh, yeah. I think I will. I had a good time when we were editing a picture, so I definitely think I’ll have a good time tonight. As long as you’re there.”

Okay, you couldn’t hide your shy grin any longer, and you could feel Ji Soo’s eyes on you.

Judging by the car ride alone, you were in trouble tonight. If Ji Soo kept saying things like that, you were pretty sure your lips would get stuck in this little smile for the rest of your life.

“Have you always blushed so easily?” Ji Soo asked, reaching over and poking your cheek gently.

“Yes,” you chuckled. You shrugged your shoulder to try and push his arm away, but it was more of an instinctive reaction than anything.

“It’s cute,” he murmured. “Like, just on your own, you’re beautiful. But when you blush it’s just so cute.”

“Oh my gosh, can we not talk about me anymore?” you asked with just the slightest whine in your voice. But you still had that smile on your lips; honestly, you were for real on your way to smiling permanently. All because of him!

Ji Soo obliged, though, and he (somehow) managed not to make you blush the rest of the way to the stadium. He asked about the rules of the game, and that kept you talking for the whole ride.

By the time you parked, walked to the stadium, went through security, scanned your tickets, bought some pizza and beer, and found your seats, the team was out practicing on the field.

Ji Soo asked who all of the players were, so you pointed out each one, telling him what their name was and which position they played.

“Who’s on your jersey?” he asked with half a mouthful of pizza.

“Ah,” you muttered, feeling your cheeks blush for the first time in almost half an hour. “Number 16, Martinez.”

Ji Soo’s eyes searched the field, and they narrowed slightly when he found the number 16 jersey.

Of course, you liked Martinez because he was a good player...

But... you would be lying if you said he wasn’t the best-looking guy on the team.

Ji Soo turned his narrowed gaze over to you, and your eyes widened innocently.

“What?” you asked.

“I’m onto you,” he murmured, sounding utterly serious (which you knew meant he was teasing).

“What are you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

You shook your head, still keeping up the innocent act as you ate your pizza.

Ji Soo simply smirked at you, and you had to look away because it wasn’t possible to eat properly if you weren’t breathing.

Once you had both finished your pizza, the game was just about to start. You took a quick gulp of beer as the team came back out onto the field in their uniforms. You stood from your seat and clapped, cupping your hands around your mouth and cheering along with the crowd.

Ji Soo stood up, and you were reminded just how tall he was. Most of the time, either one or both of you were sitting, so it was easy to forget that he not only had the face of a model but the body of a model, too. Tall, slim, but you could tell he was also muscular.

As the national anthem played, Ji Soo leaned over and casually rested his elbow on your shoulder.

And, if you can believe it, it made your heart flutter.

So, literally, everything this guy did had some sort of effect on you, I guess. Even if he was just resting his elbow on your shoulder.

Plus, he smelled really good. He always seemed to smell good, even though he worked pretty much all day, every day.

After the last note of the anthem rang through the stadium, you gulped down your anxiety and leaned just a little bit closer toward your date.

“You smell really good,” you told him, raising your voice over the din of the crowd.

Ji Soo simply smirked before reaching out and wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into a hug.

You were so tempted to just bury your face in his chest, but he had already let go before you could give in to the urge.

Thankfully, the referee blew the starting whistle so you could turn your attention to the game instead of how good Ji Soo smelled. Or how amazing just that one, quick hug had felt.

“Okay, you have to tell me what’s going on,” he said, his voice suddenly close to your ear.

You nodded and began your commentary, making sure to stay close to him so you didn’t bother the people around you. You told him what was going on, you answered any question he had, and you also still managed to react to the game as you usually did.

The first time the ref made a somewhat questionable call, your brow furrowed deeply and you yelled out your disagreement.

“OH, COME ON, REF!” you cried. “THAT WAS A FOUL! ARE YOU BLIND?!”

Now, obviously, you weren’t the only one who was yelling at the ref. But the way Ji Soo was looking at you right now, you might as well have been.

When you glanced over at him, a bit of a guilty smile appeared on your lips. “What?” you asked, chuckling.

“I had no idea you had this side to you,” he laughed. “You just seem so... sweet.”

“I am!” you countered.

“You just asked the referee if he was blind,” Ji Soo pointed out. “That’s not sweet.”

“Well! It was a clear foul!”

You went back to watching the game, but you felt Ji Soo lean in close, placing his lips right by your ear.

“Don’t worry,” he told you. “I like it.”

You simply pressed your lips together, your cheeks blazing.

Since the two of you had opted to buy food before the game, you decided to stay in your seats during halftime while almost everyone else in the stadium left.

“How do you like it so far?” you asked, reaching down to pick up your beer and down the last of it.

“Honestly, it’s a lot more fun than I thought,” Ji Soo admitted. “I don’t know why I always thought soccer was boring, but it’s really not.”

“No, not at all!”

“Joo Hyuk is going to be so pissed,” he chuckled.

“You’ll have to go to a game with him to make up for it,” you grinned, nudging him gently with your arm.

“As long as you come, too.”

“What?” you laughed. “Why do I have to come?”

“Because you’re the best commentator. I feel like I know all about soccer already! ...And because you are ridiculously cute when you’re yelling at the players.”

“Be quiet,” you muttered through your smile.

“It’s true!”

You shook your head, rolling your eyes in amusement.

Before Ji Soo could say anything else, Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” started blaring through the stadium speakers.

“Ooh, Kiss Cam!” you cried, tapping Ji Soo’s arm and pointing up to the jumbo screen hanging from the ceiling. “I love the Kiss Cam.”

“You do?” Ji Soo asked, sounding surprised.

You turned to look at him, nodding -- but then you froze.

Oh... god.

What if... what if the two of you were put up on the screen?

Oh, no no no no no.

Ji Soo would love it, surely, but...

It would be so embarrassing!

The cameramen had no way of knowing this, but it was just your first date! You had only hugged, and it had only lasted less than a second!

Your heart started hammering as couples came and went on the screen, and you could sincerely say you’d never been so nervous watching the Kiss Cam. Every time a new couple showed up, you held your breath, letting it out gently when you realized it wasn’t you and Ji Soo.

When an older couple finished kissing, the Kiss Cam logo came up and the announcer asked the crowd to give all of the couples a round of applause.

Oh, thank god. You had survived.

“Aw, man,” Ji Soo lamented, shaking his head. “I was hoping we would be on it.”

Of course, he would hope that.

Instead of letting him know you were not disappointed in the least, you simply reached over and patted his arm. “I’m sorry,” you said. “Maybe next time.”

“Next time?” he asked, eyebrows raised. “You think there’s going to be a next time?”

You stared at him, blinking, your mouth slightly agape.

Uh...

Ji Soo smirked and lifted his arm, moving to rest it around your shoulders. “There better be a next time,” he smirked.

You couldn’t help but let out yet another sigh of relief.

And then... you settled down in your seat, leaning into him and tilting your head to rest it against his shoulder.

When the game was over (a satisfying 2-0 win for the Tigers, thank goodness), you and Ji Soo shuffled out of the stadium with the rest of the crowd. You headed up the stairs ahead of him, and as the people filed out with you, you felt Ji Soo’s fingers grasp yours.

Thankfully, he couldn’t see your face, but you would be surprised if he didn’t know you were blushing right now.

When you got to the top of stairs, instead of letting go of his hand, you linked your fingers through his more firmly. Ji Soo squeezed your hand as he walked beside you, and you shot him a shy grin.

Eventually, you made it out to the parking lot, and once the two of you were settled into your car, Ji Soo told you to drop him back off at the coffee shop.

“Joo Hyuk is still there, so I figure I should help him clean up some.”

“Can you please apologize to him for me?” you asked as you threw your car into reverse and began to back out of your spot. “I feel bad that he had to work by himself.”

“So, you feel bad for going out with me?” Ji Soo teased.

“No!” you chuckled.

“Don’t worry,” he assured you, reaching over and resting his hand on your thigh briefly. “We’re talking about hiring a part-timer. Hopefully. If business keeps up, we should be able to. And we can pay you for the pictures.”

“No, Ji Soo, I already told you that you don’t need to pay me. The free drinks are more than enough.”

“See? That’s why I thought you were sweet,” Ji Soo pointed out. “But then you started yelling at that ref. Now I’m afraid to ever get on your bad side.”

You simply laughed, shaking your head as you began the drive back to The Mug.

When you arrived at the shop, you pulled up as close to the door as you could since there were no other cars in the lot. You put the car in park and, a bit nervously, you turned toward Ji Soo.

“Thank you for coming,” you said softly. “I’m glad you had a good time.”

“No, thank you for inviting me. I never thought our first date would be a sports game, but that’s one of the things I like about you.”

“...What do you mean?” you asked shyly.

“You’re full of surprises,” Ji soo told you with just the slightest of smirks.

For probably the millionth time tonight, you blushed.

And you wondered if there would ever be a time you didn’t blush around Ji Soo.

“Hey, so...” he continued. “I don’t really want our first kiss to be in the parking lot, but... if you wouldn’t mind...”

Well, the blushing certainly wasn’t going to be letting up anytime soon, was it?

He was asking you if you wouldn’t mind kissing him?

Really?

You didn’t let yourself think too much about it because you probably would have talked yourself out of saying ‘yes.’

And... you wanted to say ‘yes.’

So, you nodded quickly.

Part 7

[fallingin-like]

november 8

i just had a growth spurt (took so long, my tippy toes hurt) by @tallsinspace [requested by @gluupor]

see which other fics i’m reviewing this month! / my review request post!

maybe i’m biased because i like kid!fics but i loved this fic so so much. i love the way that andrew and aaron interact, both with each other and the other characters. the characterization on this was amazing and it’s such a hilarious and fun read!

i just want to start and say that i love this fic so so much. your writing style is so fluid and easy to read. there are a lot of writers where their fics are good, but something is missing and you can’t tell what it is. they don’t have weird plots or bad dialogue or anything, it’s just not the same. your writing is not like this. instead there is a sense of ease. i’m just carried along for the ride and i know it’s going to be good and it feels so comforting to know i’ll be taken care of. you inject subtle humour through tiny mannerisms of the characters and by slight word choices that don’t seem to make a difference, but just add this extra little something to your fic. and you have not as subtle humour so basically you’re just really good at writing a funny fic. i mean, even your summary is great. 

bits that i really enjoyed (although i just want to insert the whole fic):

“andrew says right over aaron’s body, voice ominous. aaron yelps, sliding up against his headboard in fright.” right off the bat this is such a great intro! it really sets the tone for the fic and tells us some info. it’s funny and i like that

”’i just told you,’ andrew says, impatient at having to repeat himself. ‘nicky is planning things, and we need to counter-plan.’” this is an early example of the great characterization you have. this mini-version of andrew still has traits that canon-andrew carries, but scaled to something that makes sense for a child. the impatience, thinking ahead to prevent nicky from doing the thing, so good.

astronaut lamp! it’s a cute touch that tells us more info about what kind of child aaron is, but also what kind of guardian nicky is.

”aaron remembers. nicky invited matthew boyd from aaron’s class over and andrew gave him so much halloween candy that he had a sugar crash and threw up in the bathroom. he cried. his mom had to come get him. it was really bad.” something about this story i find so great. i like the kids version of the columbia trip, it sounds exactly like something kid!andrew would do. also the last sentence does so much to add to aaron’s voice and also seems like something a child would include in their retelling of a story. i love the short sentences.

”andrew says his teacher, mr. wymack, is also really annoying, but he gets angry at aaron whenever aaron says it too, so andrew probably likes him.” cute!! what a classic kid thing to do (and also a classic andrew thing to do)

-the whole bit that’s also included in the summary is so perfect. the overreaction to a playday. how dramatic the twins are.

”’but we’re brothers in real life,’ aaron says to the empty room.” oh my goodness i love this so much. it’s so telling of the rocky parts of their relationship that they still have to work out and it feels so sad

”she’s really smart, but whenever aaron tries to ask for help, she always goes red and starts chewing on her hair, and the conversation dies there.” CUTE!!

”he hears a squeak and then a thump as katelyn collapses on the ground” DOUBLE CUTE!! these kids are so adorable!! oh my goodness. and so dramatic i love the way you write them

i really like the idea of aaron constantly asking for passes to go to abby and andrew asking to see bee. it must be so comforting to them to have a safe place that they can retreat to during school after being alone for so long.

”unfortunately, nicky thinks mr. wymack is ‘kinda cute in a dad way’ so andrew can’t say he’s friends with kevin, or there’ll be a playdate again, and everything will go very badly for everyone” THIS IS THE BEST SENTENCE. nicky is hilarious as always and it is so funny to see the twins have such a deep understanding of everything to be fully in control. i can just imagine them, writing out baby causal loop diagrams to try and see how one action will affect other things.

andrew and aaron switching places in class with only neil and katelyn being able to tell? amazing

”he’s in my class because he hates you and wanted to get away from you. are you happy?” MY HEART BREAKS A LITTLE BIT AARON NO also i can totally imagine him saying this in his little kid voice, all pouty and annoyed.

the dilemma bit is soo cute oh my goodness

”you can copy my answers even though you’re mean and terrible and you tried to lie to me about andrew” I LOVE YOUR VERSION OF KID NEIL SO MUCH he is still the sassy boy that we all know him as and so wonderful

”besides aaron had been the real victim, because that was his candy he was saving for later” aaron is so melodramatic this is the best thing ever

ANDREW READING WIKIPEDIA ARTICLES IN THE DARK ON NICKY’S LAPTOP AS A KID IS NOW CANON I REFUSE TO BELIEVE ANYTHING ELSE (yes i know nicky and andrew didn’t know each other as children but sTILL)

”last time they came, he had found a massive picture book of outer space, and he and andrew had claimed entire galaxies for themselves, named stars after each other” this is the most precious thing i have ever read. bonding moments between the twins that are this soft are rare in the fandom but underrated because it’s so good. also i love how this matches the astronaut lamp

ANDREW RECITING SHAKESPEARE TO AARON bless these boys

”aaron had yelled his own name across the library, as stupid as that sounds now, and andrew for whatever reason, had called his own name back, to the outrage of every librarian in the main room” excuse me but this is the only way the twins can meet again, sorry i don’t make the rules. i think this is my favourite twin discovery i have read ahhHH you’re so good

”andrew doesn’t lie, but if you don’t believe him, he doesn’t talk either. nicky’s comment has guaranteed an evening’s worth of silence from andrew, which isn’t the worst thing in the world, but is counter-productive” wow this is such an andrew thing to do. he must have been taught through his life in terrible terrible homes that no matter what he says people wouldn’t believe him. it must have been so exhausting constantly being told you’re lying even if you’re not. it’s always so heartbreaking to read about these coping mechanisms he must have developed at such a young age to try and protect himself

”’he’s good at math,’ andrew finally says. ‘and he’s the fastest runner in the grade.’” ANDREW YOU’RE HAVE A CRUSH THIS IS SO CUTE

”’i was the weird kid for a while and i’m excellent.’ nobody responds to that.” NICKY OH MY GOODNESS

nicky buying andrew any lock he wanted no questions asked is the softest thing ever :”) what a perfect thing as the foundation of their relationship

andrew reciting either stories or horrible facts about pirates oh my goodness your characterization is spot on i cannot get enough of it

”andrew doesn’t smile but he does a happy kind of bounce when he sees the chocolate chips have been arranged into a frowny face” this is such an iconic line. you’re actually a legend

exCUSE ME AARON BEING THE MOST POPULAR BOY IN CLASS AND ANDREW THE MOST ATHLETIC my brain just exploded what a wonderful way to end the school year!! and then andrew saying he would rather hang out with aaron,,, i- have no words

”he thinks i need friends badly because he’s afraid i’m developmentally stunted thanks to my terrible parents” nicky’s response is perfect for this but this is the most neil thing eveR. he’s also so mature. what a kid.

wow finishing the fic with the twins making a deal that allows them to hang out/form relationships with other kids and yet means that they will reconvene at the end of the day and stick together?? amazing. i just. this is so so good.

i really like that you did this through aaron’s perspective. it adds something to the story-telling that i think is nice. i’m generally indifferent to aaron, but this fic really endeared me to him. i also appreciate that this is a fic where their relationship is as good as a relationship between twin boys can be (a little bit rough, but overall they have an understanding of each other and will work together to accomplish something).

this whole fic was fun and lighthearted, but clearly really well thought out. i think it takes a lot of talent, skill, and time to have it read in such an easy way. you paid homage to canon events/details but molded it so that it fit so perfectly into this au. this was really cute, i’m always attracted to kid!fics, i’d love to see more from this au! i think you did a good job fitting the characters into the kid version of themselves. i liked that they weren’t dumb little kids with no personalities, because kids are so hilarious and full of attitude. and, it’s really interesting to see nicky in this caregiver role (although he is also like this a little bit in canon, we just don’t get to see it work because the twins are less receptive), i like that he’s doing his best and it’s actually working. for once, the twins have a safe and welcoming home where they can be supported to be who they are and have someone who will protect them.

this was such a delightful read, i loved it when i first read it, and i loved it again while i was rereading to write this. you did such a good job with the characters, the dialogue, the humour. i really can’t describe how much i enjoyed this. thank you so much!!!

[cooltrainererika]

Hetalia Emblem: Once Upon A Hallowed Night (pt. 1)

(Note: This was originally posted yesterday, October 20th, but due to typos, I have reposted it. It is still probably a bit rough, but hopefully there’s less glaring errors. I was also intending to release fic 2 yesterday, though it will be released later today, the third one probably won’t see the light of day for a while)

Hello! This is my entry for this year’s #hetaween #hetaween19/20! The prompt is 10/20; “Crossover”. And I have delivered! At least part of it!

However, this requires some explanation; this takes place in my Samuraiverse/Flagverse AU, or “Hetalia Emblem”, a theoretical Hetalia x World Flags (if you don’t know, it’s this: world-flags.org) x Fire Emblem crossover game. Basically, it’s Hetalia characters, World Flags outfits and weapons (as well as certain character elements; they will become apparent as you read along), and Fire Emblem gameplay, story elements, and lore elements. Unlike “Alt-talia”, the AU I usually write in, I’m thinking I might use characterizations closer to canon instead. Though they still may be slightly different.

So I saw the prompt, and thought this was a perfect place to spread my AU more. Basically, this is a human AU taking place in a Japanese medieval setting with international elements. A summary can be found here: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/DarthWiki/HetaliaEmblem (Or in my post on the subject)

Now, this requires minimal knowledge of Fire Emblem, though some spell names and skills (basically things that can enhance a unit on the battlefield) and such might be referenced. (Also, if anyone wants to use this AU, go ahead! Please!)

And tonight, I have for you not one fic, but a batch of three! First, a spiritual tale. Second, a fun trick-or-treat story with a twist. And third, an action story (hopefully)!

Also these are being released separately so I can hope to get one out the door by the end of today. Though oh well, it’s the 20th in most of the rest of the world.

Also, this is an idea for a support conversation somewhat modified to fit the holiday. If you don’t know what a support conversation is, they’re conversations that you can unlock between two characters to make them bond more, making them perform better around each other in battle. As such, it was the one I was most sure about. This is based on their C to B conversations, I think (since D conversations are a thing in this game).

I also haven’t decided fully on some names, or whether to use different names than Alt-talia, for those who were never given names or have inaccurate ones. However, I have decided to use the ones here for the time being. And Matthew keeps getting called by his full name because everyone’s name is spelled out in kanji in-universe, and in Japanese “Matt” doesn’t make much sense as a nickname for “Matthew”. Also, while a character mentioned in this fic has a name in Alt-talia, here I decided to keep him unnamed. It is kind of debatable if they’re the same character after all…

I’ll also say that many of the characters here, especially the focus characters, don’t have a set costume design or weapons, but will be assumed to be sword users for the time being until further notice, since it’s most likely they are.

And since these were kind of rushed, they may not be best written. So yeah… sorry about that. The second one in particular may kind of meander a bit.

A final note: this IS NOT shipping! Almost no shipping happens in Hetalia Emblem (so no S conversations in this game), as such pretty much all interactions are platonic by default.

Without further ado… Trick-or-Treat!

……….

On the night of the last day of the tenth lunar cycle, when the harvest is ripe and the harsh winter is nearing, the realms of the mystical and spiritual and this realm are at their nearest point, so close the barrier between them almost nonexistent; it is this one night of the year which is prime time for the departed to see those they had left behind, and for the mystical to give us a visit…

Closure

He had found her some ways away from the camp, bathed in the smoky aroma of incense, her pale hair seemingly glowing in the moonlight.

“Ms. Natallia?”

She turned, the ghouls departing.

“What do you want?”

The boy flinched a bit, but then continued to move towards her, revealing his face. Not that it mattered; his white kimono had made that quite obvious.

Yong-Soo hesitated, his face flushed a shade of pink, sputtering.

“H-hey, Ms. Natallia! Erm… it’s me again.”

“What do you want? Don’t waste my time again.”

Her voice was curt, cold.

The boy straightened himself out, shook his head, and cleared his throat.

“I won’t. You can talk to dead people, right? I mean, I heard that you have powers like that, despite not being a mage or anything, and…”

She could see exactly when his face turned uncharacteristically serious, she observed. Somewhat perplexing.

“Yes? And?”

“…I need your help.”

Natallia simply blinked.

Yong-Soo took a deep breath and continued.

“I need to tell you something.”

“…”

“…Hyung Yao isn’t my real brother. I used to have a biological brother. A twin brother, actually…”

A brother?

His normally cheerful, jolly voice had a tinge of pain behind it that was small, but as apparent as the luminous moon above. For whatever reason - though she knew why deep down - she felt her heart being tugged at.

“…But one day, he just disappeared. He was gone. I don’t know what happened to him. …I spent a year looking for him, but… I never found him.”

“…”

“I want closure. I don’t know if he’s dead or alive. But, if he is dead… I want to at least say goodbye to him.”

No response.

She turned.

“Please… please…”

The teenager’s voice was starting to break, but he didn’t care. He briskly bowed, his head down low.

“Please… Please, I only-“

“Come with me.”

The dancer lifted his head immediately, just as the woman was starting to walk away.

His face lit up, his eyes becoming misty from the shock and joy at her words.

“Thank you! Thank you!”

———

The air inside her tent was heavy with incense, the ominous glow emitted from the small fire in front of Yong-Soo and the sticks of incense giving the dim tent a warm glow.

“What is his name?”

“It is-“

Once she had heard it, she simply nodded, calling upon it thrice in a hushed whisper.

Nothing.

“…He isn’t here.”

“What does that mean?”

“Even if he is dead, he hasn’t visited you. Yet. Now, quiet.”

The boy immediately straightened himself again, nodding

“Yes ma’am.”

————

Natallia had been silent, deathly silent. Even he wouldn’t dare raise a sound. It had felt like time had stopped. Despite the warm glow of the flames and incense, he felt chills; not just any, but a strange chill from within and without. He could have even sworn he saw glowing, fire-like orbs flicker around her.

————

Ion felt the spiritual energy; what kind of dark mage would be if he weren’t. It drifted ambiently in the air, but radiated from a certain, definite place.

It seemed Huong Lien felt it as well, the mage having poked her head out of her tent, her two familiars floating around her frantically, apparently either in distress or hyper-energized by the high concentration of mystical energy.

Somewhere on the other side of camp, Arthur could be heard loudly complaining about a headache.

Ion felt he now had a good idea as to why Yong-Soo seemed so excited when he had heard from him she could see ghosts…

————-

Connecting with the spiritual realm was a strange experience that was unlike any other. It was like being in one place but everyone, trancelike but alert.

On this day, when the other realm was the closest, however, the process was made easier; relatively, at least.

Neither she nor Yong knew how long she had been there, but in time, she found herself fully back in their realm.

Yong’s anticipation reached a boiling point. He couldn’t take it anymore. He had to know.

“…So? Did you find him? Was he-“

“He wasn’t.”

His face started to light up, but with a hint of hesitation, as if barely holding himself back from hoping just yet.

“So… so he’s so alive? He’s still out there somewhere?”

“Yes.”

Tears pricked the dancer’s eyes, as the information fully soaked into the teen’s brain.

Natallia hadn’t noticed herself make a rare, small smile at the sight, though not that he noticed - he finally broke down into tears of joy, repeating “He’s alive! Gods, he’s alive!” to himself.

“Congratulations.”

“Damn it, why did he leave me for so long?! That dastard!”

———-

By the time Yong had left, thanking her profusely of course, she had finally realized she had been smiling.

Natallia couldn’t remember the last time she had felt this… happy for someone outside her family.

But it was as if she saw some of herself in this annoying dancer boy.

Some of that scared, lonely girl and her sister as they called out into the cruel, unforgiving howls of a certain snowstorm.

[littlefrenchfryesblog]

The Balcony

Fandom: Assassin's Creed

Pairing: Jacob Frye x Reader

Characters: Jacob Frye, Evie Frye, Arno Dorian, Connor Kenway, Edward Kenway, Ezio Auditore Da Firenze, Mario Auditore, Maria Auditore, Ethan Frye.

Words: 1.797

Modern AU

Summary: The reader tries to suicide herself before and all of the gang knows it with a class. Because she just ran from the class when she remembers it. And she changes someone's life because of what she lived.

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           Finally, Jacob breaks up with Teressa and starts to join you guys you seemed happier than usual and everybody can see this with just one look in your eye.

           So, when your days go normal in the cafeteria it's just because Jacob puts an arm around you and Teressa can't look you because you're in his protection. When the last class comes, you and Evie sit next to each other as always. You didn't know what the subject is, and you are happy with it. When Ms. Lane comes to class wich she is your biology teacher she says the subject and your memories came back to your mind you just start to terrifying and your hands start to shaking. She simply says ''Reproduction in humans'' and when Evie sees your reaction to the subject she asks with worry in her voice ''(Y/N) are you okay?'' you answer her question with a shaky voice ''E-Evie I-I'm not good.'' and your body starts to shake too. Jacob notice it when Ms. Lane came to class but he didn't say anything because he didn't see anything suspicious until now and when he saw your hands shaking like crazy and your body starts to shake too. When you start to play with your hair and look like you terrified he thinks he needs to step into the moment. ''(Y/N) Are you okay?'' When he tries to reach you, you pick your stuff and your school bag and run out of class and start to run out of school.

                  You were remember everything. The Balcony, the wind passes your hair, the last thought you have. ''When people say you're worthless, that does not mean you are worthless. When people say you're a wrong person, that doesn't mean you're a wrong person. That's just prooves they are just stupid.'' you try to forget it when you came to the home. Henry's mom (Henry's family is your volunteer family because you are an exchange student) gratefully welcomes you with a warm smile on her face. And asks ''Why you are here? The school isn't finished.'' you ignore her. You didn't want to remember it. You go to your room and change your clothes. When you finish changing your clothes you call your friends from the country you live in before you came to study (The Countr You Want To Study). Thankfully your friend answers you. ''Hey (Y/N)! How is going?'' You answer your friend with tears in your eyes, ''Actually, nothing is good (Your Friends Name) our biology teacher talks about Reproduction in humans and I start to freak out!'' When you start to tell her what happened she shocked too. ''Oh my god (Y/N) Sorry, but that's bad.'' You answered her ''I know (Y/F/N) but I don't know what should I do so, I called you.'' Then you heard the doorbell rings and you try to guess who came to your house. And when your friend continues to talk but you ignore her. And you knew who came, your friends and their family. You feel bad about what you did. When you think about that Henry comes to your room and calls you downstairs. You wipe your tears in your eyes and go downstairs.

          You see all of your friends with worried eyes, especially Jacob. When dinner starts, Henry's mum called your parents even you say to her ''Please don't call'em. I'm okay.'' but she always answers you with ''No. You're not. And we need to find out what is it.'' So, your dad answers it with ''(Y/N) Has three friends in that time. One of them left (Y/N) first. After that friend, (Y/N) sad two friends left. But you know three is just a number, but two means togetherness, coupling. So, they turn their back to (Y/N), But when (Y/N) finds out, it's too late. They break her just like they breaking a walnut. (Y/N) came to me and say ''I become so numb. I'm paralyzed. I can't take it. I don't know what to do.'' So, we take (Y/N) To a psychologist with soo many sessions, we discovered can't make it but when we realize it, the (Y/N) we knew is gone.'' He waited a little bit. ''(Y/N) tried to suicide herself after this.'' And everybody looks at your dad with shock. Evie says ''Is this real?'' with tears filling her eyes and Jacob looks at you. Your dad continues ''What happened? do you take it normally if your friends betray you.'' and little silence again. ''(Y/N) jumps from the balcony and..'' You raise your eyebrows to your dad for telling him to stop. He ignores it and continues to his sentence, you took your hands together and put them to your mouth and look down when he continues, ''The iron bar enters to her stomach and damage wall of the womb and it affects the fertility soo seriously. It makes trample down the possibilities to make a child for her.'' so you stand up from the table and run to your room and start to cry. you don't want to remember it. Not after a minute Jacob comes and tries to relax you.

             When you stop crying he hugs you tightly and you feel like you're in where you belong. After ten minutes you heard a scream and it says ''Please don't jump! Please!'' So, you turned to Jacob and say '' Thank you, Jacob. But I think we should look for what's happening.'' he shakes his head and says '' Are you sure you're okay love?'' you shake your head and he says ''Yes let's look for it.'' so you two go and look for what's happening.

              You can't believe your eyes. A girl you think seven years young from you tries to jump through a balcony. So you ran to the woman who begs for her to don't jump. she said ''She tries to suicide herself please help her. She locks her door.'' you run to the house and Jacob catches your arm and says ''What are you doing?'' you answered him with worry in your voice ''I'm gonna break the door and stop her. Please, Jacob, I do that fault and that makes my life a mess. I can't let her do it to herself like me or the far more worst thing. Are you coming with me or not?'' he comes with you and you guys enter the house. Jacob says '' Are you seriously thinking to break the door?'' you say with hurry ''Don't be stupid of course I won't if we do something like that she simply jumps from the balcony.'' When you come to the room there's her dad tries to break down the door. you pick your Kirby grip from your hair. Thankfully you do a bun to your hair on that day. So you open the door with it. Jacob simply says ''Wow! How do you do it?'' you answered him ''The escapade I do when I was a child.'' when you entered the room the dad tries to come too and you say ''no, wait for a minute.'' ''But...'' yo answered the dad ''Stop and listen to a reason.'' then you and Jacob get into the room and close the door. She was at the balcony parapet and she was crying. you come near her and say ''Hello, Hello I'm (Y/N) (L/N)'' She shouts at you ''Don't come close! Don't come close or I'm gonna jump!'' she shouts with a cry. You remember yourself when you jump from the balcony. ''Okay. Okay, relax. Relax, you're soo young. What old ate you? (Ten less from the age you are)?'' She answers you ''Tell that to my dad. I talk so much, I cry, I blandish. Don't let me marry. I'm gonna study. Look, they're trying to marry me with that pig. Without shame...'' She cries even harder than before and looks down from the balcony. You let her continue ''Yes. Continue I'm listening. I'm listening. Tell me.'' She continues ''They are going to the gynecologist to check me. I want to die. You don't understand, die.'' You try to stop her ''STOP. STOP. OKAY, OKAY okay. Wait for a minute, please wait for a minute, please, Relax. Please. What's your name?'' she answers ''Clara.'' you repeat ''Clara. Clara look this is the second floor so if you jump you won't die, become permanently disabled. Even now, they are not caring about you, what do you think they're gonna act to a permanently disabled Clara? If you jump your skull can break, maybe your waist will break, maybe your legs gonna break, maybe something far worse than these things. But you won't die you will become a person who always needs special care. Withal these people who are inside. Do you understand me?'' and she shakes her head. ''Come, look I'm gonna talk to your dad. I'm not gonna let you marry, nothing will happen like that.'' She answers with a loud cry ''Is it easy? How will you do it?'' you answered her ''I will gonna make it. No one can touch you. No one will make you do something you don't want to. I promise'' she answers ''They can. You don't know them.'' you answered surely '' And you don't know me, Clara. If I make a promise I will keep it. Please, take a chance on yourself again. When people say you're worthless, that does not mean you are worthless. When people say you're a wrong person, that doesn't mean you're a wrong person. That's just prooves they are just stupid. Please.'' She looks you with hopeful eyes ''Promise?'' you answer with a smile ''I promise. Everything will be perfect. You're not alone. Look, I'm here I won't let them make you sad.'' And you give your hand to her. And she took it. And you hug her. And you left the balcony.

            You talk to her dad. And you intimidate him and her family. You left the house with Jacob. Every time you ask him he is always in shock. He looks you with lovely eyes every time. And on that day He promises himself that he is gonna tell you that he loves you one day. And It's soon.

             When you call Clara one month later, you're happy when you see her study.

P.S: I’m gonna make Arno Dorian x reader for his birthday I want to do it today but I’m busy with this story.so I think I’m gonna start to write it today but I think I’m gonna post it tomorrow.

I want to make a series about how Jacob and the reader how they met and how Jacob confesses his feelings to the reader. If you want a series like that, make a comment and say yes so I can start to write it ( ^^*)