#yes it is that stock image with the gun

[faneth]

its hard to run from yourself in designer heels

[thatoneluckybee]

im gonnw piss in youre inbox 😍😍🫶😜

DON'T MAKE ME SHOOT.

[npdflowey]

causing chaos is my favorite activity

[vitaminseetarot]

PAC Pick a Picture: Yes or No (or Maybe) 💚💙💜

Hey y'all, I'm back in time for the end of May with another pick a card reading. I thought that since it's been almost a year since my last yes or no reading, that now would be a good time to do my second one. Today, perhaps because of the last day of Mermay in part, I'm inspired by the colors green and blue (and some purple thrown in). I'll be using Mermaid Tarot for this reading. 🌎🧜‍♀️

Below, there are 12 images for you to choose from in a random color assortment, from left to right. Take a deep breath, pause, and relax all tension in your body before deciding what your question is. There are a lot of piles to choose from, so if you have a lot of questions, feel free to select them one at a time and read in any order you want.

Pile 1 - Hot Air Balloon Pile 2 - Peacock Tail Pile 3 - Plumbago Flowers (Light Blue) Pile 4 - Azurite Pile 5 - Grass Field Pile 6 - Lily Pad Pile 7 - Damselfly Pile 8 - Gentian Flowers (Dark Blue) Pile 9 - Blueberries Pile 10 - Blue Jay Pile 11 - Butterfly Pile 12- Mountain Bluebird

apologies for the misalignment in pics; this stock photo collage was initially for fun

Pile 1 - Hot Air Balloon

IX Hermit, 9 of Swords, 6 of Swords, XIII Death; 24 - Heal Thyself, 15. Adrift in Shallow Water

This pile is a No. You may be wanting to move forward with something, but the energy I'm picking up on is too closed inward and focused on the worst possible outcomes. You may need to detach from the situation if a decision is called for. Answers will more likely come to you when you are given the quietude and privacy needed to listen to your inner guidance system. It knows a lot more than it may let on, but you won't be able to hear it amidst the chaos.

"Take a few deep breaths and reconnect to your inner peace." This card is talking about using mindfulness to recenter the self. It is very difficult to make important decisions and move forward from a place of anxiety. Things are more likely to move in the direction you desire when you make plans from a calm and positive outlook. Once you're fully ready to move on, the tides will turn for you.

Pile 2 - Peacock Tail

4 of Pentacles, 4 of Cups, 6 of Cups, 7 of Pentacles; 13 - Awareness, 5. Change Direction With Ease

For you, this is a big Maybe. Your reading starts with two 4 cards which can indicate a state of stagnancy and lack of motion. With 6 of cups, you may be more focused on what's happened before than what could happen next. Remember that cycles don't always repeat themselves perfectly and giving something another go can reap potential success if you put in the proper dedication for it.

"You may be in for a surprise." 4 of Cups can talk about unforeseen surprises around the corner, so if you're able to keep your mind more ahead into the present and future rather than the past, you may be prepared to catch this surprise. This surprise could be the key to allowing things to flow through to a more desired resolution. Stay present for what's to come.

Pile 3 - Plumbago Flowers

XIX The Sun, XVIII The Moon, 3 of Cups, Queen of Cups; 7 - Clear Aura, 49. Be Insightful and Established

So this is a definite Yes with the Sun card coming out first! But then the Moon card popped up, which definitely surprised me. This combo doesn't often happen a lot! I think with this particular yes, you may be very excited to jump the gun and celebrate. But the Moon wants to remind you that as alluring as it may be to throw caution in the wind, it's important to keep your emotions leveled and even keeled. Your friends or community may also be affecting the choice or outcome; never mind their energy and stay true to what's in your own cup. Your intuition will guide you.

"Ground and realign your energy." Give yourself a clean fresh head start and look before you leap into anything. Lighten yourself from heavier energies. Make decisions from a place of solid reason rather than through the emotional frenzy that may surround you.

Pile 4 - Azurite

4 of Pentacles, Page of Swords, 2 of Cups, 5 of Pentacles; 14 - Grace, 42. Gentle Moderation

This pile is a very likely No. When I drew these cards, it was like rapid fire. All these cards came out at once. I feel there may be a lot of impatience, especially with the 4 of Pentacles. You may feel you've been waiting too long for something to come to fruition and you may be getting frustrated by the lack of results. With Page of Swords and 2 of Cups, I sense that there is an important lesson you must grasp before you can move ahead with this. It may have to do with communicating to your partner, friend, or coworker, or even asking for assistance.

"Take your time." Time is greatly emphasized in this pile. Before I drew this card and I saw Grace, I thought, "grace period." So you may be in or soon getting a grace period which will allow you to have the ability to ease back and think carefully about how you want to go forward. I get that it sucks when things don't show up when we've desire it for so long, but the cards want to remind you that you have more time than you think to get the results you're after.

Pile 5 - Grass Field

Knight of Pentacles, 8 of Cups, I Magician, 9 of Swords; 30 - Practical Intuition, 5. Change Direction With Ease

This pile looks to be a No, for at least this moment. This is something that may take a while to accomplish, but because you may be holding on to something no longer needed, it could be taking longer than necessary. The Magician card wants to remind you of your power to take control of the situation. Do not listen to the fears that disguise themselves as your intuition. Practical Intuition is about grounding your psychic energy into the material world. Remind yourself that your intuition works for you, not against you. When you're able to let go of old fears and worries, you'll be able to step forward with more confidence.

"It is a time to reconsider what you are wanting." Take some time to get clear on your intentions before you work your magic. The more you paint your worries as being realistic, the more likely they are to become real. Use your intuitive gifts for your benefit. You are not powerless in this situation. But it's ultimately up to you to change how this will all play out!

Pile 6 - Lily Pad Page of Wands, III of Swords, X Wheel of Fortune, 8 of Swords; 9 - Self Acceptance, 29. Empower Yourself

This pile is a Maybe because I almost took out the World card after 8 of Swords. I think with this pile, you need to take account of who you are and what you're capable of doing. You may get this sense that things are totally out of your hands and up to the universe to decide, but the cards are advising you to not default to that reasoning with this question. While it's one thing to recognize when things are out of our hands, this should not be confused with helplessness.

"Allow yourself to be the strong, beautiful person you are capable of being." I'm getting that some of you may be really harsh on yourselves when things don't turn out right. But resorting to negative self talk when things go wrong and positive talk about the universe when things go right, is an imbalanced way of perceiving this. You are powerful, and this situation can resolve itself in part thanks to your efforts. But you must be kinder with yourself to see this power first.

Pile 7 - Damselfly

XIII Death, XI Justice, XVIII The Moon, Page of Wands; 13 - Awareness; 3. In the Light of the Moon

This pile is a No. Something must be done away with here, something must be remain in the past. This is something that needs to occur inevitably, even if it's hard. Whatever it is, things seem to not be going to plan. Ultimately, this No will be in your personal favor, though it doesn't seem that way right now, because letting go will set things into better balance. You may be feeling lost with this, uncertain of how to proceed. But you are gently being guided to your next chapter in life. It's okay if you are feeling down right now, allow yourself to process the emotions (even if you're feeling disconnected from emotion) by doing what you find enjoyable to you as this all unfolds.

I find it interesting how the full moon shows up three times in this reading. I find this magically significant. Do you by chance work with lunar magic, or do you simply follow your emotional energy closely as the moon waxes and wanes? The number 13 appearing twice is also to be noted here. I'm getting that this will have to do with some kind of specific timing, like 13 days from now, or on the 13th of a month. Pay attention to your dreams for further insight and clues. Don't be afraid to shed the old to welcome in the new. Even if this doesn't work out, you carry so much magical potential in you that whatever comes next will be nothing short of wondrously transformative.

Pile 8 - Gentian Flowers

King of Pentacles, 2 of Swords, X Wheel of Fortune, King of Cups; 25 - Truth, 42. Gentle Moderation

This is a likely Yes, but there are signs of some wavering here. The message I channeled was to be true to yourself no matter what decision you may take. You may be dealing with too many conflicting opinions weighing in on something that may be important mainly for you. I'm getting practical needs vs. emotional needs. You must come to your own conclusions about how much you'll factor in one need compared to the other. If you decide both that are important, then you will need to figure out how to get the two needs to cooperate.

"Pressure from others or yourself can be released by renegotiating what you are trying to accomplish." One King to hold the wheel, the other to hold the compass. You are both the guide and the driver of this choice. Once you come to conclusions about what your personal Truth is, let that be your map to a more harmonious outcome.

Pile 9 - Blueberries

XII Hanged Man, 5 of Cups, Knight of Pentacles, XV The Devil; 29 - Nurture, 26. Where You Need to Be

This pile is a No. I'm getting a lot of nervous energy from this pile, I'm needing to take my time and breathe between each card. It may help for you to also take time out and breathe deeply. This could be something that has been stressing you out, keeping you in limbo. This is your sign to take it easy. Be gentle with yourself. You're being asked to see the difference between needing to be patient for things to manifest, and needing to rely on your own energy to overcome this. But you cannot use that energy if you cannot see it for yourself.

"Have faith the Universe will take care of a current concern by providing the best possible outcome for all involved." Just because something doesn't turn out now doesn't mean it won't be for later. You're on the right path, don't let this temporary situation sway you. In the meantime, your current focus needs to be on personal self care. You must tend to your garden and provide yourself with the healing you need to take on the things that are within your grasp.

Pile 10 - Blue Jay

2 of Wands, Ace of Wands, King of Swords, IV The Emperor; 21 - Shadow Treasures, 7. Dancing in the Rainbow

This pile is a strong Yes. You got what it takes to see this through. There is a passion lighting up from within you, and by keeping your head high and focusing on the outcome you desire, you will be given the tools you need to succeed in this. But all this won't happen on its own. You are being asked to do a majority of the work and organizing needed to pull this off. This may be a solo effort for the most part. But rest assured that you got the motivation and integrity to do it right.

"Break free from whatever you feel is holding you back." Your mind, the King of Swords, may try to freeze this fiery passion by giving you reasons that it isn't plausible or reasonable. But the 2 of wands says "this and more." Release the dichotomy of being rational and enthusiastic and embrace both, for they both have gifts to offer.

Pile 11 - Butterfly

8 of Cups, Page of Wands, King of Cups, Page of Swords; 3 - Strength, 5. Change Direction with Ease

This one is a soft Yes. It seems like there is something you need to work through first, however. You may be feeling like you need to hone in on specific skills or internal resources for the best results. You need to be confident in yourself that something must fall away if you want to begin a new with something else. Make peace with where you are now and see that you have an inner reservoir of talent and ambitions to tap into.

"This is a time for change, shapeshifting, or your soul's evolution." There is something telling you that the next stage to come will help you grow and become more well rounded. You've already mastered the art of staying calm under the tension of seeking greater and greater heights, now it's time to play into your passions and find new ways to learn and expand your knowledge.

Pile 12- Mountain Bluebird

Knight of Cups, Six of Wands, XI Justice, VIII Strength; 6 - Freedom, 11. Persistent Drive

This one is a strong Yes. Now is the exact time to make the move. Try to visualize or imagine your most desired outcome, first. Which one makes the most sense to you. Which one utilizes your greatest strengths? Which one gives you the emotional freedom to pursue your goals while abandoning all restrictions from the past that still try to tie you down? And, last but not least, which one recreates that joyful spark that lights up the dreams within you? Step out into the world and don't be afraid of a little bit of risk.

"See what you desire and move toward that goal." Be completely sure of where you want to go or want to do next. Set a practical target, one that you can easily see. Take a calculated risk, but don't get cocky or too brash. If all goes well, stay humble and pass the good vibes on.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™

[iveneverdoneanythingwrong]

Porsche would make a great Head of the Minor Family

So I was starting my 579042th KinnPorsche rewatch and had gotten to one specific scene in Episode 1 when it hit me: Porsche is really the only character in the show suitable to run the Minor Family (Vegas fans, don't @ me, I will explain).

Let's take stock of the lay of the land and the major players:

(Warning: image and gif heavy)

The Major Family

The Major Family can mostly be summed up in one word: Corporate. The survival and profitability of The Family is the overarching goal of this organization and as such, each person not literally in the Family cannot really be irreplaceable and no one can afford to think they are. Individuality is not encouraged in service to the Major Family. All the bodyguards wear the same western style uniform (though most will have a small spin on it). They live in a cult-like atmosphere (another meta entirely) and are always at work even when not on duty. Their ability to interact with the outside world is controlled by the family, their hobbies, their food, their associations, their ability to express themselves, their very being is controlled by the family; absolutely no distractions. They are in an hierarchy so rigidly enforced that Chan only has to raise his voice to regain control when things get a tiny bit rowdy with the introduction of Porsche.

The Minor Family

The Minor Family is basically a gang. They're not regimented. They wear their own clothes. They have women in skin tight dresses hanging around. They have open access to the outside world. They drink alcohol while in the compound, they slouch and relax and play games. They might be able to work well together, but in no way could they accomplish any kind of long term plan or cooperate with the Major Family (who give them legal cover) without a strong hand.

Which is provided by Gun, who presents himself as one of them - the clothes, the dinning table in the court yard, the shared meals, the relaxed atmosphere when not actually on duty. But though he plays at some kind of equality, his people know that he views them as expendable. They live in a cognitive dissonance where their everyday experiences say they are Family and appreciated, but know that this is only a façade. We only see it once, but even just approaching Gun with the very welcome news of his hated brother's death is immediately met with the smiling physical abuse that he hands out at even imaginary signs of disrespect.

The Heirs

Gun has taught this form of management to Vegas, who plays up to Porsche about caring for his bodyguards and then forcibly uses them as literal meat shields during the coup. We see absolutely no relationships between Vegas and his guards at all. Vegas would have to unlearn all he's been taught by his father, completely remap his relationship with his employees, and work together closely and amicably with the Major Family, who he has be taught his entire life to see as the enemy. All of these things would take years in therapy to accomplish.

Contrasted with Kinn who perpetuates the cult due to his father's manipulations but breaks it regularly once Porsche's arrival reminds him of his own personality and management style. Not only does he know that Pete has a grandmother, he even has her number in his phone. He goes to Pete for advice for how to talk to Porsche, and doesn't seem uncomfortable at the idea that he would need help from an employee. He indulges Arm bugging his suit on Porsche's behest. He protects his own bodyguards in the coup. (Is Kinn an idiot? Quite probably, yes.)

Porsche

Porsche from a young age was basically forced to be head of his own family. Sure, he had an "uncle" there, but he did basically nothing. Porsche has been responsible not only for the goals of the family but also for the means of attaining those goals.

He wasn't regimented, like Korn, and he also wasn't abusive, like Gun. In fact, he was very lax in his family, with only one overarching boundary that we can confirm: loyalty. It doesn't seem matter how much you fuck up, so long as you remain loyal to him and his. You don't have to actually contribute much of anything to earn his affection, his protection, or a place at his table. You just have to not fuck him over.

And that's why Porsche would make a fantastic Minor Family head. Thee himself admits he wasn't any use to Porsche growing up. He "invested" all the money in "crypto", which Porsche sees as just a mistake. It put the family at risk, it made it much harder for Porsche to achieve his goals, but it wasn't done maliciously so Porsche is content to let it go and still let Thee try to be useful in other ways.

Until Porsche discovers that Thee has been lying to them. Thee has betrayed Porsche and Chay. He has not had their best interest in mind and just been making mistakes. He's been actively, knowingly, making things worse. And the scene that showed it all was this one, where Porsche goes from this:

to this:

Even as a civilian, Porsche demonstrates the mindset necessary to run a Family, and not just any Family but specifically the Minor Family. Unlike Gun, Porsche is easy going. He is relaxed. He will also absolutely cut his uncle off with nothing at the first betrayal.

He's is absolutely the type to eat with his employees as close to equal as social positions allow and actually mean it. The gaslighting atmosphere of the Minor Family under Gun would be truth under Porsche. He would treat them as Family so long as they maintained their loyalty. Within weeks of being introduced, Porsche managed to turn at least some Main Family bodyguards (the closest and most trusted!) into his assets. Pete volunteered for a very dangerous assignment to protect Porsche.

Arm assisted Porsche not only in spying on his boss, but also in coming up with codes and protocol for Porsche's benefit in case Kinn does something Porsche doesn't want. Pol and Arm eavesdrop on a meeting not only with Kinn but with Korn and relay the contents of that meeting to other bodyguards we haven't met because they were so invested in Porsche's love story.

Since Porsche has been kidnapped into the mafia, he been trained and had his moral boundaries violated expanded in relation to violence. He already had the ability to bring out loyalty in people just by being himself and now he has an innate understanding of the fine line between I'm Not Mad, Just Disappointed and violence as boundary-setting, which I think would make for even more cultish fanaticism from his men than Korn's studied manipulations.

Thankfully he has a loyalty to Kinn that could never happen with Vegas, making them an absolute power couple of the Thai underworld.

[foodfightnovelization]

My Foodfight! Collection: Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Foodfight!

So here it is, here's my Foodfight! collection. Since I've been writing this blog for over a year now, I thought it was worth finally showing off all the merchandise I've collected during that time, as well as talking about the relationship I've developed with the movie over the course of my many posts. But first, the collection- from left to right, we have the Cinnamon Sleuth cereal box (yes it's fanmade but I still think it looks cool enough to be included), the Junior Novelization that started it all, a Daredevil Dan plush, a Dex Dogtective plush, a copy of the movie on DVD, the Deluxe Sound Storybook, a Polar Penguin Plush, and 18 inches of Cheazel T. Weasel.

The plush toys are especially interesting- I don't think I've really discussed this before, but they all have a tag on the back stating they're not to be sold at retail... I guess these were only intended for arcades and carnivals as prizes, which is where they ultimately ended up, but I've heard at least one person who worked on the movie claim these were being sold in stores as well. So... chalk that up to another unsolved mystery, even if it's not a particularly interesting one. If I had to guess, the Playmates action figures and more detailed plush toys I talked about a while ago were meant to sold in stores, but the deal fell through and somehow these cheaper Nanco plush toys ended up there instead, on top of arcades and carnivals as originally intended. Maybe Nanco just produced so much stock, anticipating the movie to be a big hit, then when it got delayed time and time again they had to sell them off however they could. I know these Nanco plush toys come in a BUNCH of different sizes- for instance, I have an 18 inch Cheazel, but there are smaller variants that show up on eBay every now and then. Speaking of Cheazel by the way...

About 10 years ago, a small child in Nebraska got stuck in a claw machine trying to win a Cheazel plush, with the incident even making the local news. You can read all about it in the above link- thankfully he was fine and nobody was injured, but it's just crazy to me that something Foodfight!-related was picked up by the news media and that there was a kid out there who wanted a Cheazel plush so bad he was willing to crawl into a machine for it. It's also a testament to how, after the movie came out, these plush toys were EVERYWHERE- there are so many stories of people finding them at local carnivals, and it's why a lot of them are still showing up on eBay to this day. I wonder if the Cheazel plush I have now is the same one this child tried to win many years ago...? Probably not, but it's certainly a possibility.

One more thing about the toys while I'm still on the topic- I know I've mentioned it before, but a bunch of concept art and prototype images for the Playmates plush toys and figures were found among the recently shared files from the Foodfight! tie-in game, and I just thought I'd share them here for anyone who hasn't seen them yet. While I love the idea of Dex Dogtective's Price Gun and the Daredevil Dan Crash N' Spin Plane, I've gotta say.... the plush toys we actually ended up with are WAY cuter. I know they're just prototypes, but look at how bulbous Cheazel's eyeballs are, it's just offputting. Granted, the character is equally if not more offputting in the actual movie, but when you compare it to the Nanco plush...

I mean just look at him, he's adorable!! How could you not like him, how could anybody like him? The tongue sticking out, the dopey expression on his face...he's just a rascal, a scamp, a mischief maker. I think in general the Nanco plush toys are by far the most visually appealing versions of the characters, partly because they're soft and huggable, but also because they all look really friendly and gentle in a way the designs never really did onscreen, even in the early footage.

Anyway, as for the rest of my collection, there's not a whole lot TO say about it that I haven't already said- I've already discussed the novelization and Deluxe Sound Storybook at length, I made the Cinnamon Sleuth box myself, and the only notable thing about the DVD is that one of the Chapter Select options takes you straight to the end credits. And so I instead wanted to take this time to talk about how Foodfight! has affected me over the past year.

When I first found the novelization on eBay, I just KNEW I had to write about it. Nobody else was talking about it, it was the only copy available for purchase anywhere, there was no other mention of it on the entire internet, and it seemed like no-one else even knew it existed. I was inspired by Ryan North's B To The F blog, in which he reviews the similarly obscure Back To The Future novelization, feeling this could be my very own "B To The F" moment. That kind of moment only comes along once in a lifetime, and so even though I was in the middle of an incredibly stressful move at the time, I bit the bullet and started my blog anyway. Ever since then... it's like Foodfight! exploded, all over the internet. A large part of that was of course thanks to Ziggy Cashmere's incredible work on ROTTEN: Behind The Foodfight, but it still made me feel like writing about the novelization opened a Pandora's Box of Foodfight! material across the world, or like I was living through an ARG designed just for me. I made a fangame, interviewed a cast member, I even got a speaking line in the aforementioned ROTTEN, and the more I wrote the more Foodfight! news seemed to come out. Every time I thought we'd found everything there was left to find, something new would come up and I'd be pulled right back into it. And through all that...god help me, I actually started to like Foodfight!.

To be clear, I still think it's a bad movie. As a matter of fact, it's one of the worst movies ever made. BUT...it's the greatest movie STORY ever told. Everything that went on behind the scenes, all the scrapped tie-in products, videogames, crazy anecdotes about the director, it all coalesces into something much greater than itself. In the same way, it felt like writing about Foodfight! allowed me to be a part of something greater than myself too. I got involved with a community of like-minded fans, was lucky enough to able to share previously lost media with the entire world, connected to the internet in a way I hadn't in years, and did something nobody else had done before and will likely never do again. Maybe THAT'S the real Foodfight!...no, I really mean it. When you dedicate enough time and passion towards something forgotten and obscure, it takes you on this special kind of journey that's hard to describe, but you come out the other end with this genuine appreciation for it you couldn't have found anywhere else. Like if you didn't care so much then maybe you would never have got it, but you did and so you you really DO understand. Like at the end of Be Kind Rewind, when Jerry and Mike can't save the video store but it doesn't matter because through making their movies they brought the community together and shared a story in the way only they could. Maybe that's what this was for me, sharing a story in a way only I could. To date, not a single other copy of the novelization has surfaced anywhere... it really does feel like it was my destiny to write about it. Even if I stop updating this blog someday, I'll never forget about everything I went through writing about Foodfight! The Junior Novelization...but for now, here's to another year.

[wjbs-aus]

Hey so like, I wonder if TF2 Tumblr people know about the Hot Dogs, Horseshoes & Hand Grenades "Meat Fortress" crossover's unique weapons?

Basically there's this really in-depth VR gun simulator and it had an official TF2 crossover a while ago that's still getting new stuff added for it, and along with the default TF2 weapons (plus beta-inspired grenades with some original ones thrown in, and alternate ammo types for most weapon types, none of which I will be covering in this post for image-limit reasons) it also has a bunch of custom weapons made specifically for it!

Also yes, as you'd expect, they feel kinda weird to use compared to the more realistic options the game is based around.

Images and details below (both of which are from the wiki, since taking decent screenshots in VR is painful and also I don't remember everything about them because there's like 20).

(Please note that I'm using the wiki's classifications for what class each weapon belongs to; some of the "All Class" ones do seem to fit with specific classes, but they aren't counted as such. Sorry. Also the wiki is a Fandom one. Again, sorry.)

All-Class

All Rounder

Type: Battle Rifle

Calibre: 10.5x35mm Dutch

Inspiration: MAS 49/56

Backfielder

Type: Machine Pistol

Calibre: 11mm Mannchevskikovovichidev

Inspiration: N/A (based on the default TF2 pistol)

Big Boomer

Type: Break-Action Shotgun

Calibre: 2 Gauge Long

Inspiration: N/A (possibly the Doom 2016/Eternal version of the Super Shotgun, which lacks a stock)

FireWalker

Type: Machinegun

Calibre: 13x59mm Ogden

Inspiration: M1918 BAR

Noisemaker

Type: SMG

Calibre: 12x22mm MC

Inspiration: Vz.61

Ol' Reliable

Type: Pump-Action Shotgun

Calibre: 7 Gauge Stout

Inspiration: N/A (based on the default TF2 shotgun)

Pas De Deux

Type: Derringer

Calibre: .58 Ultralong Rifle

Inspiration: N/A (although it kinda looks to me like the Model 6 XL?)

Sound Check

Type: Semi-Auto Pistol

Calibre: .52 AMP

Inspiration: M1911A1 (name is a reference to a running gag in the developer-update videos)

Stone Thrower

Type: Assault Rifle

Calibre: 9x45mm Classic

Inspiration: AR-10

Vulture

Type: Semi-Auto Pistol

Calibre: 10.1mm SHhhhhhh

Inspiration: PSS Silent Pistol (it isn't in H3VR, so have a Wikipedia.)

Scout

Duckhunter

Type: Lever-Action Shotgun

Calibre: 13 Gauge

Inspiration: N/A (based on the default TF2 scattergun)

Pyro

Signaler

Type: Flare Gun

Calibre: 50mm Flare

Inspiration: N/A (based on concept-art for the TF2 Flaregun)

Demoman

The Long Shot

Type: Grenade Launcher

Calibre: Sticky Shell

Inspiration: N/A (based on the default TF2 Stickybomb launcher)

Heavy

Aerial Denier

Type: Machinegun

Calibre: 18x50mm Packawhollop

Inspiration: literally just a pair of GAU-19/A barrels slapped onto the default TF2 minigun

Sniper (who has the most weapons for some reason?)

Snag Sanger

Type: Bolt-Action Rifle

Calibre: 18x50mm Packawhollop

Inspiration: N/A (based on the default TF2 sniper rifle)

The Last Bit

Type: Bolt-Action Rifle

Calibre: 18x50mm Packawhollop

Inspiration: N/A (based on the default TF2 sniper rifle but it's been obrez'd look at it it's adorable!!!)

Bushranger's Boon

Type: Submachine Gun

Calibre: 12x32mm Dingowhomper

Inspiration: N/A (based on the default TF2 SMG)

Engineer

Rosie

Type: Battle Rifle

Calibre: 5mm Rivets

Inspiration: Remington Stud Driver Model 450 (which is obscure enough that you'll have to look it up yourself)

Medic

Medical-180

Type: Carbine

Calibre: Syringe

Inspiration: American-180

Spy

Le Petite Liaison

Type: Revolver

Calibre: .366 Ultramagnum

Inspiration: N/A (the H3VR wiki says it's a modified version of the default revolver, and I kinda see that, but there's enough differences that I kinda doubt that)

[umbrylcrow]

I haven’t seen anybody talk about this yet so...

Luis’s gun is a Mauser C96, a semi-automatic pistol (for anybody who doesn’t know what a semi-auto firearm is, it is a repeating firearm that has an action mechanism that automatically loads a following round into the chamber to prepare it for subsequent firing. however, the gun does require the shooter to manually pull the trigger to discharge each shot unlike a fully auto gun where the trigger can be held down).

In particular, he uses the M1916 Prussian variation. That variation was named the Red 9 due to the large red 9 burned onto the grip. This was because the M1916 took 9mm rounds instead of 7.63mm as the standard. The 9 was put on the gun to remind the users not to load in the wrong ammunition. (Note: If you load the wrong ammo into a gun, it can stop the gun from firing and damage the firearm).

The Mauser C96 guns were manufactured in Germany from 1896 to 1937 but remained in use in military service until 1961 despite the fact that after WWI, the gun was considered outdated. 

The gun could hold ten rounds at a time.

Unlicensed copies of the Mauser C96 were also manufactured in Spain and China during the first half of the 20th century.

As shown below, there is nowhere to insert a mag into the gun as the magazine base is closed and solid and there is no release switch. This is because the Mauser C96 has something called an internal magazine.

That part just before the trigger is the box mag and there is an opening at the top of the gun above the mag. To load a Mauser C96, you need to use a stripper clip which is a speed loader whose purpose it is to hold cartridges together for faster reloading.

To fully load a Mauser C96, you need to take the stripper clip, load it into ammunition clip feedway as shown in the image above and then push the rounds down into the magazine with your thumb. Be careful, however, when reloading, as an incorrect reload can close the bolt on your thumb.

The Mauser C96 also has a detachable stock. The stock gives it the stability of a short-barreled rifle.

Due to the shape of the grip, the Mauser C96 was nicknamed the ‘broomhandle’ whilst in China it was nicknamed the ‘box cannon’ due to the shape of the magazine as well as being able to be holstered in its own stock.

To apply the safety on a Mauser C96, one must have the hammer up (if reloading the Mauser, you cannot apply the safety onto the gun) and then push the safety up as well which draws the hammer away from the firing pin. Reloading the Mauser is a bit scary because if you are not careful with the gun, you can accidentally shoot yourself or somebody else. Always point a gun away from you and others, no matter the firearm you are carrying and practice trigger discipline.

To actually fire the gun, of course put the safety down and then cock back the hammer.

The Mauser ejects cartridges upwards so it is possible for the cartridge to come back and hit the shooter. Reminder: Bullets are EXTREMELY hot and if you are hit with a freshly fired one, it can burn you.

The Mauser C96 has a pretty good reputation for its accuracy and range. But I’m sure you all are more interested in knowing how it does power wise given Resident Evil 4 has it as the most powerful handgun in the game.

Yes, the C96, and in particular the Red 9 that Luis uses, is powerful. A Mauser can shoot clean through a watermelon (a watermelon and a human head have about the same density).

However, whilst many enjoy firing a Mauser, it’s not exactly a good handgun. It has some problems, including a propensity to jam, and I’ve seen plenty of comments of people saying it’s awkward to use.

I’d say that Luis likely uses the Red 9 as a memento from his grandfather as I can’t think of another reason Luis would be using the gun (not to mention he’s a scientist, not a fighter so another reason he might have grabbed whatever to defend himself and he likely learned how to use it and the rifle he has in Mercenaries from his grandfather).

(I know a lot about guns but am no expert so if anybody has any corrections, let me know!)

[wuxiaphoenix]

On Writing: History and the Fantastic

I love fantasy and SF worlds, where weirdness abounds and there’s a new monster or alien around every labyrinth corner. But I favor grounding the fantastic in as much history, science, and biology as you can handle. It adds depth and backstory to your world, and there are plenty of readers out there hungry not just for entertainment, but for information. When they read a story, they want to learn something.

For me, learning the history of Northeast Asia started with Blockbuster and Samurai X.

Note, prior to that I’d seen some anime; Sailor Moon, Monster Rancher, a few others. But they were all dubs on TV, and I had no idea they were anything beyond “new cartoons”.

(The internet was not something I could get easy access to at the time. Or I’d have found out otherwise.)

Samurai X, though - that was something completely different. The animation was beautiful, the swordfights like nothing I had seen before, and the apparent historical details (samurai and people in late 19th century uniforms, really?) were intriguing enough that I wanted to see if they were anything close to real. And so started my poking into manga (Rurouni Kenshin first, others later) and early modern Japan.

(Blockbuster is also how I got to see Gundam Wing, Princess Mononoke, Howl’s Moving Castle, and Spirited Away. I miss that store.)

Finding out that the Bakumatsu was real, not an invention of the writer, and samurai had indeed been running around killing each other with swords (and guns) about the same time as the American Civl War was... well. World-shaking isn’t exactly accurate. But it certainly shook up my view of history.

I also admit to a deep sympathy with anyone who wants to tell the rest of the world, “get off my lawn and stop bothering me”. In the long term it doesn’t work, other humans being first-class botherers, especially if they think you might be weaker than they are. But the impulse is real, and relatable.

This led to a lot of digging. A lot, and probably pulling out every book in nearby libraries related to that place and time.

Eventually this led to the MDZS animation, and then various c-dramas and k-dramas. Unfortunately library books on Ming, Yuan, Qing, Goryeo and Joseon are... locally nonexistent. But between internet niche articles and JSTOR, I can keep digging and filling in the gaps as I get one book at a time. Because this part of the past is a foreign world, and makes everything you thought familiar take on a new light. With that you reconsider your own history, how place makes a difference, and how the past leaves ghosts of customs, foods, attitudes, and fears in its wake.

The past was different. But often it’s presented as “more of the same, people just didn’t know as much”... unless you look at the past in a foreign land, where historians are more willing to focus on “this is how it was, wasn’t it weird?”

But humans are humans. If you can see how weird that past over there was, you know your own must be equally weird. And then you can start finding the cracks and oddities that were glossed over in the history “everyone knows”.

Here’s a tame example. Cattle drives and cowboys, the quintessential image of the Old West. Except prior to the Civil War, cattle drives were a major thing in the Southeast, stock being driven to the railheads for points north. Meaning after the war a lot of Southern drovers headed west away from Reconstruction and picked up their old job in a new place. Sometimes bringing their old grudges and a fair amount of PTSD with them

(Yes, the Civil War had PTSD. They called it “heatstroke”. It was considered serious and sufficient explanation for rare lethal shooting sprees years or decades later.)

Knowing all this, you can see that while the character of Nathan Algren in The Last Samurai may not be a historical person, he is a very historically plausible character. And that makes the story so much better.

Steal from the best. Give your worlds reality. Your stories will last with the reader, long after they close the book.

[seriously-mike]

Oh.

Oh wow.

This is fuckery beyond my expectations.

And considering that "AI detection" algorithms are worthless, non-working bullshit with more biases than an Arizona traffic cop, guess who will be fucked upon posting anything?

Yes, you.

Copyright enforcement was always used to further corporate grift. That guy who made a picture of a futuristic rifle and had the design stolen to make a toy gun in China? Couldn't do shit, can't do shit, won't ever be able to do shit. Same goes for my old drawing - I made it in 2009, the Chinese stole it in 2014 and had some schmuck redraw it (ohgodwhy.jpg), now I won't be surprised if the knock-off will be assumed to be the original.

Meanwhile, once again, the content detection algorithms will assume that police siren sounds and my yelling in broken Borat-like English are the hot new hip-hop song (it happened to me on Twitch in May and only after I requested that Amazon sends some low-paid intern responsible for content management to double-check they fucked off).

And the kicker? You probably know that Adobe lawyered the fuck up while making their image generator, Firefly. It's supposedly built on images they have the rights to and shit. Lo and behold, it turns out that they're selling AI-generated images someone generated using a different site (Midjourney most probably) and uploaded to Adobe Stock to make a buck, even fucking described as an AI generated image in the style of two artists, and neither the automated copygrift enforcement nor the low-paid interns caught it. I won't tell you to fuck Adobe because you're most probably doing it already anyway, because of their bullshit subscription model.

Also, fuck Nintendo, fuck Sega, fuck the Chinese and fuck the MAFIAA. With a fresh saguaro.

I just can't fathom how any artist could possibly support proposals to expand the scope of copyright so that stylistically similar works can be held to infringe as a defence against AI art. The content ID algorithms of major media platforms are implemented in a way which already establishes a de facto presumption that the sum total of humanity's creative output is owned by approximately six major media corporations, placing the burden of proof on the individual artist to demonstrate otherwise, and they've managed to do this in a legislative environment in which only directly derivative works may infringe. Can you imagine what copyright strikes on YouTube would look like if the RIAA and its cronies were obliged merely to assert that your work exhibits stylistic similarity to literally any piece of content that they own? Do you imagine that Google wouldn't cheerfully help them do it?

[beansprean]

A lil thing about how I think their appearances may change after finding themselves and working on repairing their relationship ❤️ the gay chicken tenders era

(YES Ed is wearing a tino rangatiratanga belt buckle, NO I don't care about historical accuracy any more than anyone else on this show)

Image description under cut!

[ID: 1.Full body drawings of a post-s1 Ed and Stede, titled “Gay Chicken Tenders (Reconciliation) Era.”

Stede is smiling gently with full dimple, standing in a confident stance, one hand in a gentlemanly position gripping the vee of his vest and the other behind his back with the rapier slung around his waist. He is wearing a patterned blue waistcoat, blue breeches, white stockings, and brown buckled boots. His sleeves are rolled up. Multiple arrows point at different parts of his body to illustrate the changes in his appearance: “earrings; open collar because emotional vulnerability; longer, swept back, more gray (hair); lighthouse tattoo (chest); wedding ring on chain around neck (for love of family); bright colors and patterns; sword (mostly for show); boots; he also wears fancy long coats!”

Ed has a small smile and has one hand lifted in a wave, the other resting on his hip. His long hair is half-up and beautifully curly, and he is wearing a pink tee shirt (of course showing a sliver of belly) and brown leather pants with black boots and his knee brace. He has his usual rings, necklaces, tattoos, and stab scar. Multiple arrows point at different parts of his body to illustrate the changes in his appearance: “the red silk as a kerchief (neck); no gloves because emotional vulnerability; beard trimmed short; a lil pudgier from good food; softer pants; one gun (emphasis on one); more color!”

2. Repeat of the first drawing, this time titled “Battle Armor!” and showing the same Ed and Stede this time in their coats. Stede’s coat is knee-length and lavender with lighter purple details, buttons, and embroidery. It has a tall white collar and frilly white cuffs beneath the wide wool sleeves. Ed’s jacket is waist-length, the same soft brown leather as his pants, and clasps together asymmetrically just like his old coat. This coat has two full sleeves and a few sharks teeth tied to the shoulders, has a knife holster on one side, and looks very comfy. Through the belt loops at the bottom of the short coat is a black belt with a buckle displaying the Māori flag about 300 years too early.

Caption: A lil thing about how I think their appearances may change after finding themselves and working on repairing their relationship ❤️ the gay chicken tenders era

Extra drawing: a close up of Stede, this time with a short graying blonde beard and a curly little mustache. Text pointing to him reads: beard?? I can never decide.

/end ID]

[pluckyredhead]

Roy has always been a science guy

Well, okay. Not always. But yes, before the New 52.

I think we can all agree that New 52/RHATO Roy bears little to no resemblance to pre-52 Roy. Lobdell basically just took a stock 90s hacker character (Lobdell can only write stock 90s characters) and called him “Arsenal.” Which, sigh.

HOWEVER. This idea of “science genius Roy” is really entrenched in fandom now. Plus the way my brain works is I tend to try and figure out a way to synthesize contradictory elements of canon and make them work, rather than just going “no, that’s stupid” and ignoring it. Especially since this was the only version of Roy we had for like seven years.

And the thing is, 2000s canon? Makes a pretty good argument for “tech guy Roy.”

See, after I read all of RHATO and RH/A in 2020, I went back and reread the 2001 Green Arrow series, and I noticed Roy is consistently, unquestionably the techiest Arrow. Now, admittedly that’s a bit of a tallest hobbit situation, since Ollie and Connor are staunch Luddites and Mia has the scientific know-how of an ordinary teenage girl in the early to mid-2000s. (I bet she’s great at texting on a flip phone.)

But there’s this repeated and very cute thing where whenever a member of the Arrowfam busts out new tech, they’re like “Roy gave me this. 🥰 ” Which I love, because it makes Roy feel very present and part of the family even though he lives on the opposite side of the country at this point in canon.

But it also makes Roy come across as by far the most technologically savvy member of the family.

Roy invented a stun grenade arrow for Ollie!

He provides them with weird motorcycles!

Roy begging Ollie to evolve out of the 14th century is such a good mental image.

But wait, there’s more!

A GREEK FIRE ARROW. Roy out here reinventing lost 7th century technology and putting it on arrows.

A tiny arrow to put...in your pants? Okay.

Roy is so well known for his love of tech that Dr. Light knows about it, apparently! (Yes, Connor wielding an enormous gun while Dr. Light is racist towards him fucking sucks. Fun fact: this issue is why I rage quit reading GA on a monthly basis in 2006 and didn’t pick it back up again until Rebirth. This page wasn’t the only reason but it sure didn’t help.)

When Roy does show up on the page, he continues to be tech-savvy:

I love that he just had those tiny clippers on him.

The “Roy and Connor bond” issue is a delight on many levels but Roy casually turning his Ferrari into a thing we still can’t do nearly 20 years later is one of my favorite aspects. As is Connor affectionately teasing him.

This scientific prowess carries over into Outsiders, which isn’t a surprise because Judd Winick was writing both books at the time and he loves a techy Roy:

Roy worked with S.T.A.R. Labs, the best scientists in the DCU, to reprogram a robot from the distant future. Now, obviously that wasn’t successful because she was a Brainiac, but they were able to essentially create an AI with a complete personality existing alongside the Brainiac programming, which is pretty damn impressive. (He was also able to reactivate her in Graduation Day, also by Judd Winick.)

And he created a headquarters that responds to him like this without any visual commands or pressing any kind of buttons??? What???

Plus, he canonically specifically has a kink for fucking in that souped-up airship he mentioned up above. Oh, Roy.

Also, on a much simpler level, you can make a strong case that he’s more inclined to trick arrows than Ollie (and Connor actively thinks they’re ridiculous). He likes gadgets!

Now again, this is not me arguing that New 52 Roy was well-written or that RHATO was a good book. I feel like that version of Roy is, like I said, a 90s hacker who sometimes picks up a bow, and Roy should always be archery first, tech second.

But my inclination is always to try to reconcile canon as much as I can, and incorporate as much as possible into my versions of the characters, so when I write Roy, I tend to nod to the New 52 science aspect by going back to this era. I can’t really get on board with the boy genius stuff or the Roybots, but I’ll often have him messing around with new trick arrows in his downtime, because I like the idea that he’s a tinkerer who loves toys. He’s also been an all-around weapons expert since the early 90s (rather than just arrows), so it makes sense to me that he’d want that range (pun intended) to be as wide as possible.

In conclusion, Lobdell is a hack, but Roy is still a STEM guy, and he definitely has to fix Ollie’s phone every time he goes back to Star City.

[dreamwritesimagines]

Burn The Witch 17 - Bad Habit [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.

Summary: Everyone needs help sometimes.

Series Masterlist

It wasn’t that there weren’t any spies who didn’t lie to their superiors.

There just weren’t any spies who lied to their superiors and lived to tell the tale, especially on high stakes missions like these.

You tried to convince yourself that the General would never find out, but that wasn’t the only reason why you were freaking out. Putting false information on your report was bad, yes, but the worst part was that you were beginning to find it harder and harder to report whatever information you found out about your fake boyfriend.

For some reason, you had a feeling it wouldn’t just stop at one lie.

Your eyes opened as you snapped out of your sleep all of a sudden and you took a look at the window, but it was still dark outside. That wasn’t the problem, the problem was that you had gone to sleep with Bucky by your side but now you were in an empty bed.

“Bucky?” you whispered into the darkness and sat up in the bed. After kicking off the covers, you made your way to the living room but as soon as you got there, he opened his eyes and turned his head to look at you.

“Hey,” you whispered, “Are you okay? Are the bandages too tight?”

He pressed a hand over his side to check the bandage, then shook his head.

“No, no…” he said, “Did I wake you up?”

“Nope,” you said, “Is the bed too uncomfortable?”

“The opposite.”

You tilted your head “The bed is too…comfortable?”

He let out a small bitter chuckle and ran a hand over his face as you stepped into the room, then sat down on the floor as well.

“I’m not really used to…” he waved a hand to motion around you, “It’s not familiar to be comfortable.”

Ah.

Of course. You should’ve seen it coming, he was a soldier and coming back home was always so hard for soldiers, especially in Bucky’s situation.

You had so many nightmares after bad missions, you had no idea how you would sleep if you had anything close to what he had been through.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked and he shook his head again.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I was hoping this wouldn’t happen.”

“Don’t be,” you murmured, “Do you want to be alone?”

“No,” he paused for a moment, “Please stay.”

Your heart skipped a beat and you pushed your hair behind you ear, taking a look at the pillow and the throw on the couch, then grabbed them and put them on the floor.

“Y/N, you’re not sleeping on the floor.”

You rushed to the bedroom to grab your pillows and the blanket off the bed, then went back to the living room.

“What are you doing?”

“It’ll be fun,” you said, putting the pillows and blanket on the floor. “Like we’re outside, only not with…annoying bugs.”

“You’re not serious.”

You plopped down the floor and gave him a bright smile. “I am!”

“Darling….” He started but shook his head with a sigh as you lay on your side, pulling the blanket over your shoulders.

“I’m very stubborn, you’re wasting your time if you’re trying to change my mind,” you informed him and he shot you a small smile, then lay down as well. You entwined your fingers with his, then looked up at the ceiling.

“My virtue is so screwed,” you pointed out, making him huff out a laughter.

“Oh absolutely.”

“I mean, there goes my hopes of…” you trailed off, “White picket fence house and puffy skirts and homemade pies.”

“What, you don’t want them with me?” he asked and your heart skipped a beat, then you stole a look at him.

“Can you even imagine that?”

“Yes I can.”

“I think I picture a movie,” you said, “There’s this….big yard, and white picket fences and we painted the house white but the door is red.  And there’s a dog and— feel free to stop me anytime, Bucky.”

“Don’t,” he smiled as if picturing what you were describing made him happy, “Just keep going.”

“We have a rescue dog,” you said, “We got him from a shelter and named him… um, we named him something funny.”

“Is it a big dog?”

“Yeah and you take him on a run every night. Mornings with me, nights with you.”

“That’s a good schedule.”

“He likes me better.”

“Ouch,” his smile widened, “I don’t blame him.”

You hummed, “And you have a mustache I think.”

He shot you a look, “If you say a Clark Gable mustache…”

“I’m just putting it out there—”

“Nope. Not gonna happen.”

“Fine,” you let out a laugh, “And we have an apple tree in the garden. Wait no— we have an apple tree and a peach tree.”

“How big is the garden?”

“Not so big,” you said, “Like in those movies.”

He paused for a moment and you stole a look at him.

“You wanted a big garden?”

“Well,” he said, “We need a big garden for the treehouse.”

“We have a treehouse?”

“Depends,” he said slowly, as if he was intimidated, “Kids love treehouses.”

Your heart skipped a beat at the thought of having kids with him, for the hundredth time the image of a happier future where you weren’t a spy flashing in front of your eyes. You tried to stop the smile pulling at your lips.

“Yeah,” you said, “I think our kids would love them too.”

You could see the ghost of a smile on his face as he rubbed his thumb over your hand.

“Yeah?”

“Mm hm,” you yawned, “And in summer we would put a bouncy house thing in the garden and we would put a hammock between the peach tree and the apple tree and we would relax there while the kids are wreaking havoc in the bouncy house.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Yeah,” you murmured, sleep luring you as you closed your eyes, taking in his scent, “Sounds like a good plan.”

                                                           ***

You really didn’t have time to second guess yourself today. Yes you had lied to the General and spent the whole night with Bucky imagining an impossible future but now, you had to keep your head in the game.

You would figure out what you would do. Eventually.

This was a mission. You had to start acting like it.

“I don’t think I like this one,” you called out from the dressing room and in a second, the door opened to reveal Chloe who raised her brows.

“Wow.”

You tilted your head and stepped outside to look at yourself better. The gold body chain wrapped around the lingerie gleamed under the shop’s bright lights and you fixed the suspenders, clicking your tongue.

“Nah. I don’t think so.”

“Wow,” she said again, “I hate you so much, why do you look so hot in lingerie?”

“Chloe, every woman looks hot in lingerie,” you said as you walked back to the dressing room to try the next lingerie set. It was a red lace bodysuit and after a moment of struggle, you got into it, and opened the door again.

“Not this one either.”

“I can’t believe you’re going to sleep with him!” Chloe squealed, “Are you excited?”

You cleared your throat, ���It’s just a mission.”

“Yeah but you want to sleep with him?”

“The dude is hot.”

“Y/N.”

“What?” you fixed your hair and frowned at your reflection, “Nope. I don’t like this. It’s too….meh.”

“I doubt Barnes would say meh if he saw you in this,” she said, “He’d probably pass out. You look like you’re about to grab your whip or something. Oh— Y/N, you should like tie him up or something! If we’re not going full on vintage, show him the modern fun times!”

You shot her a look, “Something tells me he doesn’t like to be tied up Chloe.”

“Why not?”

“Uh, because HYDRA scumbags tied him up a lot and he still has nightmares about it?”

“Ah,” she said, “I forgot about that. Hey, maybe he could tie you up!”

“I’ll tell you the same thing I said to Julian when he suggested I called him sir in bed,” you stated, “No thank you, I don’t do that sub thing.”

“Now I kind of wish we specified your cover’s kinks,” she heaved a sigh, “It’d make things so much easier.”

“My cover likes to be in control.”

“No, real you likes to be in control,” she corrected you, “Nothing about your cover says control.”

“Chloe—“ you started but stopped talking when the shop assistant approached you.

“Do you find it to your liking?”

“Um, not exactly,” you said, “I mean I like the color but overall—“

“Do you have bridal sets?” Chloe cut you off and your eyes widened.

“Easy there.”

“Like maybe soft pastel tones…. The whole thing though, garter belt and stockings and everything.”

“Of course!” she said, “We have some new arrivals, let me bring them here.”

“Chloe!” you whispered as the shop assistant walked away, “What the fuck?”

“Think about the dresses we picked for your cover,” she said, “Soft pastels. It makes sense that your cover would pick those shades in lingerie too.”

“Bridal? Really?”

“I mean, Barnes will want to propose you right there when he sees you in them so…” she grinned at you while you narrowed your eyes at her, “Come on! I’m very curious about how he is in bed.”

You tilted your head, “Is there anything you’d like to tell me?” you asked, “Because love triangles are so early 2000s.”

“Hilarious,” she deadpanned, “And no. My type is more—relaxed. Less serious.”

You scoffed and leaned back on the wall, crossing your arms, “You could just say Keith.”

She shifted her weight, biting on her lip. “I mean…” she trailed off, “He still doesn’t make a move though.”

“Why don’t you make a move?”

“I could never!” she gasped, “Nope. Ever. Besides, I thought you were against me dating spies.”

“I am,” you admitted, “But it’s your love life. If you want to date a guy who has an extremely dangerous job and worry about whether or not he will come back to you alive….”

“You’re very romantic, Y/N,” she said as the assistant came closer, holding the set. Even you had to admit, it looked very sexy and beautiful at the same time, with soft pastel lace adorning the fabric, and you took a look at the basque, then walked inside.

“Besides, you’re the one to talk.” Chloe called out as you got into the lingerie, then ran your fingers over the garter belt.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Your boyfriend does dangerous stuff too.”

“Fake boyfriend,” you corrected her, fixing the basque, and as soon as your reflection caught your eye, you raised your brows.

“Okay, maybe you had a point,” you admitted and opened the door, and Chloe grinned at you.

“See,” she said, “This is what I was talking about.”

You smirked at her and leaned on your hip, still looking in the mirror.

“Fine, I like this one.”

“Told you,” she sang and you crossed your arms.

“What dangerous stuff has he been doing lately?”

“He was texting with Wilson about some HYDRA person,” Chloe said, “Apparently they want to go after him. Tonight.”

“What HYDRA person?”

“No clue. And we can’t send a team because then it’ll be obvious— Y/N, I know that look,” she shook her head fervently, “No.”

You tried to look as innocent as possible, “I didn’t say anything.”

“You want to go after the same HYDRA person as them, but you have specific orders and we still haven’t got the okay from the top of the chain of command to go after that scum.”

“Chloe.”

“No. I’m not going to give you the address.”

“Well if Barnes ends up dead, I won’t have a mission will I?”

“He’s going to be fine, he fights better than you.”

You gasped, “How dare you?”

“He fights better than everyone in the division!” she insisted, “He can take care of himself.”

You pouted, “Fine,” you said, “I guess I won’t give Keith the idea of taking you out on a date then.”

She paused for a moment, “That’s bribery.”

“Uh huh.”

“You have no shame, do you?”

You motioned at the lingerie set you were in, “Does it look like it?”

She rubbed at her eye and let out a small whine.

“If my dad asks—“

“He’s not going to know.”

“Do you promise to behave?”

“I always behave,” you stated, making her snort.

“I don’t believe that for a second.”

“Please?” you asked, “I promise I’ll be safe. I’ll just make sure he’s alive, that’s it. I won’t get involved in anything.”

“You promise?”

“Cross my heart.”

Chloe pursed her lips. “For your information, I think picnics are romantic.”

“Dully noted,” you said, “Trust me, he will take you on a picnic. So, do we have a deal?”

She rolled her eyes, then nodded, making you let out a laugh and walk back to the changing room.

“I want candles on that picnic too!”

“Send me the list of your demands,” you called out, “I’ll make sure they’re all covered.”

                                                      ***

In all honesty, Chloe was terrible at saying no to people, especially the people she loved.

You fixed your ski mask as you took a look at the text Bucky had sent you after you asked him what he was doing;

Nothing much, going home soon. You?  

“Liar liar….” You sang as you typed your reply.

Soup Kitchen was so tiring, I think I’ll go to bed early tonight.

Fine. Maybe he wasn’t the only liar in this relationship.

You took a look at the building’s window through your binoculars, then lowered them to check your phone when it vibrated.

Good idea. Sweet dreams darling.

You tried to ignore the smile on your lips but as soon as you heard gunshots coming from the building, your head shot up.

“Shit,” you murmured and tried to see what was happening, but it was impossible. Whoever they were, they were definitely staying away from windows.

“Not gonna get involved,” you muttered, “Not gonna get involved, it’s stupid and puts the mission in danger. I’ll stay right here, he can take care of himself.”

For about five seconds, it worked.

“I’m being stupid,” you mumbled to yourself as you grabbed the gear around your waist, then checked whether it would actually carry you, “I’m being so fucking stupid, I haven’t even slept with the dude yet….”

You went over to the edge of the rooftop, then took a deep breath, grabbed the cables and jumped to crash through the window of the building the gunshots were coming from. You pulled your gun to shoot the person who looked like he was about to shoot Bucky, sending him to the ground and Bucky pushed the guy he was fighting with through the wall, then turned around to point the gun at you but as soon as he did, he frowned.

“….Shrike?”

“Hi handsome.” You unbuckled the rope from the harness, sending it up to the rooftop again as he lowered his gun. “Need a hand?”

Chapter 18

[identifying-guns-in-posts]

Hey, sorry, don't mean to put you down or anything, just felt obligated to jump in since the L96 / AW line is my hyperfixation / special interest.

Gun in the top image is, funnily enough, not the L96A1 at all, which was the original weapon described in the text in the image. The image is of a full Arctic Warfare series rifle, likely an Arctic Warfare Magnum going by the fluted barrel (chambered in .300 Winchester Magnum or .338 Lapua Magnum depending on internals). The gun in the image has a picatinny rail for mounting optics as well as a folding stock with monopod; both of which are features absent on the original L96A1, which had a dovetail scope mount instead of a rail (for a consistent scope zero when disassembled and reassembled), never had a folding stock variant produced (to my knowledge), and had a fairly different stock shape.

Definitely a Sten Mk. II (chambered in 9x19mm Parabellum) in the second image, though. And yes, the main remarkable attribute of the Sten was that it could be manufactured with no specialized machine tools. It was also not originally referred to as a "submachine gun" (even though it is, don't get me wrong!) because the term wasn't really coined yet (starting with the Thompson SMG), and was instead referred to by the British as a "machine carbine" instead.

[astaroth1357]

Demon Brothers as Roommates

Intro:

So, the MC has left the Devildom and, of course, everybody is quite sad… But this time around, they have a little trick up their sleeve. With just a bit of magic (and training thanks to Solomon) the MC can now summon one of their favorite demon boys up to the human world with them! There's just, uh, one problem though… After being summoned to their side, their beloved demon now refuses to leave it.

Alright MC, enjoy your new demonic roommate!!

Lucifer

Apparently Lucifer is on sabbatical… And yes, he does appreciate that irony in that.

Lucifer actually has a surprising amount of human world money stashed away in alias accounts (because this man renting a cheap motel on business trips? Let's be real) so he uses that wealth to get them a place befitting his standards… which are high.

Spacious apartments in nice areas that would make even the upper middle-class shit their pants? Congrats, MC, that's where you're staying now!

Even with all that money, though, Lucifer CANNOT sit idle for a second. The guy is used to working all his life and just sitting around would drive him insane!

Expect him to still be running some Devildom affairs long-distance style while doing something else on the side, probably stock market stuff tbh.

Is going to want to pay for and provide everything himself but will respect the MC if they still want to work and split the bills (not to a ridiculous degree, though, like half-and-half because that would mean getting three jobs at least).

A lot of trips and vacations too, especially if the MC likes to travel. It’s a good excuse to relax while also technically doing something so he doesn’t lose his mind doing nothing in particular.

He is going to be that strict roommate who expects you not to be a slob and isn't afraid to say so. Regularly scheduled cleaning/organization days are mandatory because hygiene is important. Take some pride in yourself and wash up, MC. That kind of thing.

Also going to have short-fuse for… antics. If you want to prank him, do so at your own risk because he may prank back (and that’s not nearly as fun as it sounds, trust me.)

Mammon

Yeah so, living with Mammon is like the inverse of Lucifer. Prepare to be poooor.

Man has no human money, are you kidding me? Even if he did, he wouldn’t keep it for very long. Couples budgeting is a MUST if you’re looking to survive.

The apartment is going to be whatever the MC can more or less afford on their own with Mammon shoved in somewhere like a cheap lamp… Don’t expect a lot of room.

However, Mammon is great at the hustle. Man can work multiple jobs and actually be pretty dang good at them. For the most part, anyway. He may occasionally trip up and get himself fired, but he bounces back quick.

If the MC isn’t so moral he can also uh… “find” some extra money lying around too. Just be careful when playing with fire, right?

Even if they’re poor as shit, Mammon is still a blast to be around. The guy knows how to have fun on and off of a budget. Lots of “window shopping” (getting kicked out of stores for goofing off), nightclubs, amusement parks, and cheap fun. They’ll never be without a story to tell or a smile on their face!

He IS pretty slobbish though. He’s not going to remember to clean up after himself unless told, but he’s also not going to be bothered if they don’t do the same thing. A weekly cleaning day is going to be ideal unless they don’t mind living in a pigsty...

Prank waaaaars!! The kind of guy to get them both water guns and have a war in the middle of the apartment complex. Good luck getting any rest with Mammon around.

Leviathan 

Whelp, your room is now his room, quite literally MC. You had to pick the shut-in…

The guy isn’t exactly poor but what human money he does have is all wrapped up in his many interests… Merch interests specifically. 

Thankfully, he won’t take up too much space. Put him in a room with a desk, bed (or bathtub), TV, and computer and he’s good to go! 

He’s not going to be a complete bum, thankfully. There’s no way that they can get him to leave the apartment, but he can run small online stores (usually anime themed) or become a streamer. Probably enough to help pay the bills, but not much more.

If they don’t mind having a literally permanent housemate, then being with Levi has its own kind fun. Lots of anime marathons, movie nights, and game nights. Really, it’s just like how he was in the House, but now transported to the human world.

Is probably going to want a pet goldfish, snake ,or lizard so prepare to house Henry 3.0.

When he does leave the apartment, it’s to take the MC to conventions, concerts, or anime stores. He always manages to get just enough money for these trips, but never says where the money comes from… Best not to ask. Could be black market for they know...

… He’s a shut-in. He’s a shut-in roommate. Hygiene isn’t exactly his main concern. If they ask him to, he’ll make sure to clean up after himself, but he may need a reminder.

Can have a fun side, but just don’t mess with his stuff too much. He doesn’t need a Mammon 2.0 around too...

Satan

He's either hatching a plan for world domination or adopting 10 cats… One or the other.

About as poor as Mammon at first, but threat not. He won’t be for very long. Satan is intelligent beyond his years (or equivalent his years maybe?) so he’ll probably net himself several degrees within a couple semesters like a certified prodigy.

At that point, there really isn’t much to worry about (aside from student loans, join our pain Satan) but he can sell himself just fine and probably get some high paying job like a lawyer or doctor or whatever… I’m not jealous…

They’ll start out in a pretty modest place, but there will be upgrades fairly quickly when he starts racking it in so Satan’s a fairly decent choice as a roommate.

He does still have that nasty habit of breaking things when he’s pissed off, but that can be subverted by getting a pet! Just hold up whatever cat you own when he’s about to rampage then declare that he’s scaring/upsetting them and he’ll stop in his tracks. Works every time!

Probably going to be the most domestic out of the brothers. He enjoys cooking (and ain’t half bad at it either), shopping is a practical necessity, he’ll take care your pets like they were his own flesh and blood, etc.

There will even to be points where he’s in bed reading in the middle of the night with tea and reading glasses like some kind of grandma so take that image for what you will.

Satan is the prankster of the household, but he does his pranks more as a way to give grief to his enemies rather than for funsies. Be warned, if you poke this bear he will retaliate for sweet, sweet revenge and he has centuries worth of pranks behind him. Good luck.

Asmodeus 

It's a new party every night, sweetie, get used to it!

Asmo is the only other brother who has some amount of money to offer from his own trips to the human world, but it's just a modest amount.

Is totally willing to work to help pay for a nice place. He wants a building nice enough to host parties!

Would go back to modeling and maybe dip his toe into acting from time to time… He gets a lot of gigs (this IS the Avatar of Lust after all) so they won't be strapped for cash. Which is good, because Asmo is a very "business by day, but party every night" kind of person. 

Do know that his shopping is NOT going to slow down either. Keep an eye on the budget.

He’s also going to make friends wherever he goes so he’s going to want for them all to hang out at least somewhat regularly.

That being said, he can tone it down some if the MC so desires, just know that they can’t keep him cooped up in the apartment for too long or he’ll start getting antsy. You can’t keep this stallion locked up, MC, he needs to run free!!

Being with Asmo is going to be like having a free pass to whatever gathering the MC wants to go to, at least. He could even get them into red carpet events with just his sheer charisma, charm, and er-… “charms.” Who doesn’t want to meet their favorite actress or singer, eh?

But oh, sweetie, please don’t prank him! Life is too short to waste on silly games (he also just genuinely just doesn’t enjoy being messed with so best not do it).

Beelzebub 

Brave choice, MC, but quick question. How in the world are you going to pay your food bills???

Beel is a real sweetheart through and through but his stomach is NOT. That thing will eat them out of house and home! (Maybe even literally!!) Both of them are going to have to work and probably some pretty looong hours (cause he’s got no money either).

Honestly, Beel would be best as a personal trainer in the human world. He’s a pretty decent combination of tough but genuinely kind and motivating. (The fact that he’s pretty easy on the eyes would help out a lot too).

But the MC won’t have to worry about Beel sneaking off with someone just looking for some “quality time.” He’d take his job seriously, though he’s not particularly versed in what the human body can’t handle so only the really dedicated (or masochistic) would stick with him anyway.

“Good work last week, April! You did so well that we’re going to go from 500 pushups to a thousand! … I can see you’re worried, but I believe in you.”

But hey, he can deadlift well over 2,000 pounds without breaking a sweat so who has the balls to argue with him, anyway?

Trying out every restaurant in town would be a must. He’d even plan out vacations for them with the sole purpose of travelling the globe and tasting the different flavors. Food trips!!

He's neat enough since he used to tidy up a lot for Belphie so no need to worry about him picking up after himself (except for the occasional pile of wrappers. Toss those out unless you want ants)

I mean, you can prank Beel if you want. He'll be pretty good-natured about it as long as it stays harmless. Just don't ruin any of his food, got it?

Belphegor 

So… Belphie makes for some excellent décor! Really he is great at laying around and looking fantastic just… he’s not that great at much else...

Realistically, choosing Belphie as a roommate is kind like having a high maintenance pet. He’s good for love and cuddles, but he’s not going to be helping with the bills or anything unless they whine incessantly about it.

If the MC can make enough for the both of them, then it should be fine. They won’t get upset and he won’t be crabby but if not… Oh boy.

Regular job Belphie is a needy Belphie. He’ll come back from whatever job he’s working, likely a night shift, and demand attention or cuddles right then and there. He needs to recharge those batteries, after all...

If he isn’t working then he's at his happiest. He can even pull off being a “househusband” of sorts. He’s not going to go above and beyond the call of duty, but he can keep the place clean, get a basic meal on the table (provided someone teaches him some human recipes), and get groceries if he needs to… You know, basic domestic shit.

They’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that, at some level, Belphie just doesn’t believe in “common curtesy” or “human decency.” If some neighbors are being too noisy for his liking, he will troll them to oblivion and beyond. He may even get sued for it if he takes it too far, so the MC will have to keep an eye on him…

He’s the House’s #2 prankster, but unlike Satan he doesn’t need any malice to be a little shit. The MC will be pranked and it will be at the most unexpected times. Be warned...

Check out my Masterlist for more!

[that-weird-marvel-addict]

VULNERABLE

A CAP/SKULL ONE SHOT

The world shook with hellfire, the sounds of thundering bullets cutting the air with not a single amount of remorse. Cold, muddy, wet, dark, these were the sensations and sights within the trenches. The sounds of agony off every makeshift pathway barely held together with rigid beams of wood. Every Mortar from a tank shook the dirt and wood, shaking the fear of collapse through every soldier's soul. One could barely see the hands gripping worn steel guns right in front of them. Down below was a man grasping at ankles, sobbing in misery “end me” he rasped in a thick German tongue. A flare shot above and enlightened the hellscape. Within moments it was very clear the man was completely missing his lower half, entrails dragged and entangled on branches and shattered shards of the beams giving sanctuary above them.

This

Was

My

Eternity

Of misery…..

………………….

Johann shot up from his slumber, cold sweat drenching his entire being; a sharp inhale filled his lungs as the visions slowly faded his eyes…but the screams, oh the screams and ringing of ears was painfully intensifying. He grappled onto his ears with clawing fingers, craving for relief from those tortuous torture filled years. Every time his eyes shut the image of slaughtered brothers spilling their life blood into the now tainted lands he use to call home.

“Hey….Schmidt. You alright my love?”

This sweet voice roared inside him, stronger than any violent memory. He felt the hand of a tired man glide across his back Johann hissed and flinched away as a familiar burn ran across his nerves.

“Oh…dear, I’m sorry…..you must have had a rough night….oh! Schmidt you’re bleeding again…” Johann looked at the blonde bed headed man as he pulled away from the burgundy sheets and rushed over to the bathroom.

“Ah…..yes….rough.” He rubbed his temples as a throbbing of exhaustion tugged a little too much on his brain. He attempted to look over his shoulder at his back, of course he saw that his blood red skin had torn and ripped in quite a few areas, well that’s what he assumed with only the assistance of a distorted peripheral vision. This was almost a nightly occurrence, the serum has destroyed his skins durability, nearly melting completely to muscle. Johann sighed heavily, then quickly tensing as even the movement of breath was tugging on his wounds.

“Not to worry, I found the med kit. Luckily, you stay stocked up on bandages so I never have to hunt them down” this sturdy built man thumped right back down next to him, clicking open the med pack as the items inside jiggled slightly.

“I have a permanent reliance on them….would be disastrous if I ran out” Johann added silently, words laced with the torment of his nightmares “thank you for your help, mein kapitan” he cooed softly as he caressed his jaw line with a delicate couple fingers. The man named rogers leaned into his touch before guiding said hand to his lips so he may place the most gentle of kisses upon his palm.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way” rogers replied with honey on his words “now, let’s get you dressed up so you don’t feel miserable for the rest of the day. I know you try to avoid it, but you do take some of you crankiness out on me on these kinds of mornings” Rogers chuckled a little as he began to dunk some cotton in rubbing alcohol. He ringed it out with a quick squeeze and grimaced “this isn’t going to be pleasant….as always”. Johann sat up tall and braced for the sting as the cotton was dabbed on his night sores. Of course, nothing was as painful as the time he injected that serum of lava, but it still wasn’t pleasant.

Rogers snuggled a bit closer to Johann’s back as a way to bring him solace that he was safe. Johann let out a moan of relief as a soothing cream was delicately massaged into him. It felt warm, and the sharp pain reduced immensely. “That’s the stuff” he whispered to himself and hung his head as Rogers worked his magic. He heard a happy hum purr from Roger's throat “of course, I can’t stand to see you in any pain…..did you have your usual dream again?..y-you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to”.

It only took those words to flash the trenches back into his being. Johann sneered “I am….annoyed that I still haven’t found the strength to get it out of me. It’s been nearly 15 years and I’m still-“ Johann gripped onto the sheets in a quick fit of anger “….in this hell. I should be better, I should be progressing, yet here I am fail-“

“Don’t you say those words around me, Johann. You are not a failure and you are not weak. Some things just stick with us forever” Rogers barked defensively; there was nothing worse to his ears than his lover disregarding himself. Schmidt glanced over his shoulder again, his eyes softening as he looked into the steel blue eyes of his love. Even though they were lit up with irritation, it was bound to the love he also felt. Schmidt sighed and gave him a little smile to ease his lover's thoughts.

“Of course, kapitan, you are right. I apologize for my abrasive thoughts on my capabilities and progress” Johann turned slightly to brush some of the golden fields of hair strands that had fallen into Roger's face. This brought a flush of joy across his face, and it made Schmidt feel that deep fuzzy feeling in his gut. He couldn’t contain it, so he placed a kiss just near the corner of his darling's lips, enticing the man that shared these moments with him. Rogers cooed and pressed his lips into his for a few sweet heartbeats. Time in moments like this almost always came to a complete stand still, but rogers pulled away before Schmidt could really feel hunger for touches that explored every inch of his skin.

“Okay, okay, you reeeeally need to let me finish or this cream is going to get everywhere. '' Rogers giggled like a schoolgirl before grabbing some of the large bandages.

“Oh, I am sorry, I would HATE to have to take responsibility and clean you thoroughly in a nice warm shower”

Rogers roared with laughter “oh goodness Schmidt, can’t you let me finish this before you start to tease me?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Schmidt hissed with seduction. Rogers rolled his eyes and pushed the first layer of bandage on just a touch rough. Johann jumped a little in Shock as Roger followed after that act with more chuckles. Clearly he was trying to get Schmidt to keep it together for a few moments. Schmidt let out a chuckle himself, which only Rogers has ever been able to pull out of him.

The next increments of time was in silence, Johann nearly was soothed back to sleep. No bandage was too tight, no push and tug was too rough, and rogers would softly sing frank sinatra in the process. If Johann could imagine a heaven for himself this would be it. He leaned into every little touch, as if he never experienced it in his lifetime, and in all reality he never really did. It wasn’t until this bright light of a man, this perfect creation of erskine showed himself, and for some reason took this drastic chance with a man so deformed the world cowered before him. Johann once again began to slip into the negatives of his existence, it was easy…too easy….

“Alright darling! All bandaged up and ready for the day? Have you decided if you will go and train this morning like usual?” Rogers asked abruptly and with such innocence.

Johann undressed Rogers with his eyes in a devilish manner “oh yes I have. I’m actually really glad you asked, this morning will be all about-“ and in a matter of seconds he had Roger pinned below him. The breath was knocked out of his lover at the shock and quickness of motion. He cowered timidly in his grasp, letting out a small whimper “-endurance and cardio. Would you like to time me? I’m trying to set a new record”