#yes im posting this at 7pm. what of it

[daddy-socrates]

happy discount chocolate day to all who observe <3

[heartorbit]

creatures

[hoshinasblade]

For real, the animator had ri have been a Hoshina loyalists. Cause no way he looks that bad. For a Narumi prompt it could be funny that he gets with someone that doesn't know him. Someone who doesn't believe he is the 1st division captain because they only see him as the "wet cat" version of himself. And we have Narumi losing his mind over the fact you don't believe him

(not sure where tumblr took my post again because i cant find it lol) the budget went to hoshina and his tight shirt and there was nothing left to animate narumi properly. anyway, this is such a cute and interesting prompt because because yes, he is losing his mind over you not believing he is the cool first division captain 😆

pairing: gen narumi x f!reader trigger warnings: narumi gen is a trigger warning himself, just super short because im not used to writing anything narumi-related yet. hopefully you don't get mad at me anon for not going exactly per the ask lol my brain is a mush right now, i'll try harder on my next fics

the rich man is here, shouted the kids from the hallway. you can hear their hurrying footsteps - excited little taps that in turn triggered your heartbeat to race as well. you shut your eyes, calming yourself down.

narumi gen is not exactly a rich man; the children in the orphanage just calls him that fondly. apparently he has been dropping by for years, way back when you weren't working as a teacher yet. the older orphans refer to him as nii-san.

narumi would bring toys snd snacks for the kids, and would spend time with them until the early evening before he has to say goodbye. last time, he played video games with everyone; he brought crayons and sketch boobs for his visit today, and within an hour, it was eerily quiet - the little girls and boys holding their pencils, drawing all sorts of things.

the youngest in your herd, a six-year old boy with a missing front tooth ran to you when he saw you by the door, showing you his drawing - a stick-man figure with a knife in its hand, and an animal beside it which you were not sure whether it's an oversized dog or a giraffe.

"it's a kaiju, and narumi nii-san is fighting it", the boy explained, and you patted him in the head. "he's a captain of his team, i'm gonna be like him when i grow up!"

you looked at narumi who is sitting on the floor, but he was already looking at you. you shifted your gaze. "this is so pretty, we should display it in the art wall", you suggested to the boy who grinned at you, clapping.

"you know that it's not a good thing to do, lying to kids, right?" the children had bid narumi goodbye just past 7pm, and although some of them cried, narumi was quick to promise he would be back next weekend. you were surprised, he used to only be here once a month.

"huh?" he responded to you with confusion. you walked him out the orphanage to the parking lot outside. "i don't know what you're talking about."

"look, i know you are trying to be nice. and i thank you for that. what you've done for these kids is more than anyone else have done for them. but telling them you're some guy who kills kaiju is wrong. and telling them they can be like you?" you scoffed.

narumi's mouth was wide open before he realized you have finished your speech. "but i am a guy who kills kaiju", he replied, his hand on his chest as if he is swearing on his life. "really, i'm not lying. i'm the captain of my team -"

"right, and you fight kaiju on the daily," you finished his sentence for him.

"yes, i am a real badass, i promise!" he exclaimed when he sensed you do not believe him in the slightest. it looks comical how he looks close to panicking over the fact that you are not buying whatever he's selling. he frowned at you, and you stared at him, the eye contact lasting for a few seconds.

maybe this guy is a con-artist and he makes his living manipulating people, you said to yourself. this would make a lot of sense considering you think he has the good looks to lure people in. narumi had flirted at you once or twice before - or you wish he was flirting and you were not just reading too much on his actions.

"you know if you meet my friends, they would tell you the truth," he suggested, his voice cheerful.

"why would i meet your friends?" you asked, equally confused.

"so they can tell you that i am the coolest captain of the anti-kaiju defense force. they would also tell you i am a good man and a dependable friend," narumi said, reciting maybe the contents of his curriculum vitae to you. is he in a job interview? you wanted to ask but didn't.

you sighed in defeat. "are your friends as exasperating as you are?" you asked in jest.

"come on, let me impress you", he told you with sincerity that is almost startling. you were not expecting him to sound so genuine, so adamant at proving himself to you.

the kids will have their dinner in a few minutes and you will be needed to help out. you gave narumi one last glance before strolling back to the orphanage. "i'm off on fridays", you said.

narumi's smile could have lighted the entire street.

[drsbutmakeitspicy]

More about this post of Lando sending Carlos pictures of Osco (Also Im relearning how to use tumblr so I hope this looks okay, also not betaread)

Lando: [Link]

Carlos: ?

Lando: Some nice pictures from today at the MTC 😉.

Carlos: hm.

Carlos: Why no one fixed his hair? Charlotte never allowed us to show up like that at.🤦‍♂️

Lando: Dunno man, maybe he is afraid of hair brushes.🥴

Carlos: He's an adult.

Lando: Lewis is afraid of onions.🤷

Carlos: I don't believe that. Anyway, tell your teammate to stop being lazy.👍

Lando: 🥱

Carlos: it's absolutely unacceptable to show up at work like that.

Lando: Okay 😶

Carlos: He knew it was one of those type of events right? McLaren would tell us a day or week before. How can he be that disrespectful with his team?

Lando: It's just a bed hair, mate. 🤔

Carlos: Lando you don't understand!! He doesn't care about the teams reputation? Does he need someone to teach him something so basic¿

Lando: are you okay? 🤨

*Carlos is typing*

Lando: You're taking too long, I get it mate. You want to run your fingers through his hair.🥱

Carlos: NO !!!😡

Carlos: I want to just fix it.

Lando: Same thing, mate.

Carlos: NO IT ISNT

Lando: Hm. I think he would be fine with it, as long as you're doing that while kissing him. 😌

Carlos:...

Lando: 🙂

Carlos: would he?

Lando: Idk mate, I never asked, maybe I should. I'll screenshot this and send it to him. 😘

Carlos: Lando I'm gonna block you.

*Lando took a screenshot*

Carlos: LANDO NORRIS

Carlos: DONT YOU DARE 😡

Carlos: I can see you're still Online you Muppet!!!

----------

Oscar: Hi, it's Oscar. 👋

Oscar: Lando sent me some screenshots.

Oscar: I'm absolutely horrible with keeping my hair, I am aware of that, I didn't hear my alarm that day and only had time to brush my teeth and put a hoodie on.

Carlos: Oh.

Carlos: I don't know what came over me, you don't need to explain yourself, I'm sorry. 🤦‍♂️

Oscar: But I do accept the offer. 👍

Carlos: What offer?

Oscar: ? Lando said you would like to teach me how to take proper care of my hair ? 😶

Carlos: Oh. hm I can help you with that.

Oscar: Ok, it's settled then, mate. You're in Monaco rn right? We can meet at <this place> later if you're free.

Carlos: The harbour?

Oscar: Yea, Mark is lending me his Yatch for the night. I think it would be nice, Lando gave me this idea some weeks ago.

Carlos: you're throwing a party?

Oscar: Nope. Just us, basically.

Carlos: So I can tell you how to take care of your hair¿?

Oscar: Oh shit, maybe I got things wrong, I thought uh, making out was also included.😬

Carlos: OH.

Carlos: It is, Yes.

Oscar: So, uh are you free? 7pm?

Carlos: 👍

------

Carlos: Thanks.

Lando: 😛

Lando: Yatch date huh? Hot.🔥🔥🔥

*Carlos Blocked You*

[ndjournal]

hey, hey i would like to submit a kind of success story!

so my dog literally disappeared after 4pm and i noticed that after 7pm cause a i haven't seen her since

i desperately started to look for her EVERYWHERE i literally looked even in the cameras because i was afraid that someone kidnapped her, we posted pictures of "Missing Dog" on the internet, all of our neighbors were trying to find her too cause everybody loves her (she'd seriously very cute and sweet!) and i was almost getting in their house to search for her, but my mom said it would be rude to act like this. i didn't care at all, but i still didn't actually do it

even with all my efforts i still couldn't find her: so i remembered that one success stories from a sophie's anon where she said her cat was missing and she was desperate to "apply" and make her cat appears, but then she remembered WHO was trying and desperate and let go. After that the cat appeared safe and sound

i tried to do the same, let go of the idea that i was worried or missing her and just accept that, yes she was lost and there was nothing i (ego) could do. i let my mind think the worst things, even that someone would use her as a commerce to make lots of puppies to sell (😣😣😣) or that she was dead (she was actually a little cause of something she ate the day before) and went fat to die (some animals do this when they know there're going to die)

unfortunately it didn't work and she was still missing

i decided to go to bed and sleep cause it was late and there were no news about her

i went to sleep with that bad feeling of lost, but i knew that it wasn't me cause the real me don't have anything, only the ego has this "property" sense and then at 1:28 am i woke up from a dream where my dog was actually here and her "missing" was the dream haha

i woke up SUPER relieved, but i noticed it was a dream Where i was dreaming that it was a dream (does it make sense?) so i was consumed by some bitter feeling

the moment it happened i literally said NO! This is a dream, that was reality, it's all one anyways ill choose what i want and i swear to god the moment i said that my 2 year old nephew came here (he lives in the apt next door) screaming all over the place in the middle of the night saying that he found her with that baby accent

i got up bed desperately and realized that she was

NEVER lost, but actually hidden between the sofa (poor girl, it must've been painful)

i am trying to find something that was the key point for it to happen, but i don't really know i guess i just thought that if life is a dream and even though it may seem very real, it's still a dream and i can control it so i decided to fix that situation, but i also let go of control cause i knew ego couldn't do anything

i got mixed feelings cause i was letting go of the situation, but then thoughts would appear and i would react accordingly. maybe there is more, but i don’t know i am still processing this im so happy she’s here!!!!

I'm glad, thanks for sharing! Linking the post you mentioned here. This excerpt might be helpful for you:

The easiest creations or shifts for me happen when I just decide on something as a fact then just let it go and forget about it. There was no analysis, no rumination, no second guessing or questioning on it. It's easiest to do this for things that you have no attachments. It's not until I am reminded of that decision by the actual manifestation that I realize how effortless it all was, yet it can be so hard for things where there is pre-existing conditioning in the mind related to the choice one wants to make (when one entirely drops identification with the mind, this will no longer matter).

Another thing you can try to practice is having trust in Self/Universe/God more when you let go, rather than letting your mind run wild with all these negative scenarios, you can let go with the trust and faith that everything is being taken care of and there's nothing to worry about. That way you can actually truly let go, rather than flip flop back to worrying, reacting to negative thoughts and being attached to the situation (this is what the excerpt would call as 'changing your mind' like you did where you at first let go and then went back to worrying about it, meaning you hadn't truly let go). Try practicing this for your next creations! :)

[scyphosunny]

vargastober day 11 was posted a couple days ago ! this is a huge one , so let's talk about it .

i wanted to write an entry for this one yesterday , but i wasn't home ! i was still able to write something , but i spent most of the day getting some sleep . SUNNY , SLEEPING MORE THAN 3 HOURS A DAY ? NEVER HEARD OF IT !

first of all . . . what happened with day 10's piece ? if im being honest , i can't really remember anymore . but i'll try .

ah , yes ! it was a busy day , overall . ( it really wasn't .

i spent some time with else on vc , had a nice time ! talked about a bunch of stuff . then , i tried to get something before 7PM . . . and while i did get a small sketch i wasn't really pleased with it . which is weird ! because i drew something similar a while ago . . .

THE COMPARISON IS FUCKING KILLING ME , WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE HE SWALLOWED A FUCKING BRICK IN THE FIRST ONE . i had a lot of trouble with face shapes , as you can probably notice . . .

did my usual things , watched evo with sister and had something to eat . then , it was thursday ! and usually my friends and i do stuff on thursdays . that day we played stardew valley !

my sister ended up puking and i panicked because i have emetophobia so after crying for an hour i was exhausted

i was planning on going to sleep early today since i was so tired . i tried to push myself a bit to get that piece done but i knew for a fact that i wouldn't be able to stay awake or focus even if i wanted . i also knew that if i tried maybe i could get something i liked ? sometimes the sketches for these don't look great , it's mostly about the colors or the ambience i add afterwards . ough then my friend asked if i could wake her up at 3AM because they all know im usually awake at that hour , and my stupid ass said yes even if i was falling asleep on the couch . i took a nap and i was talking to cris to try and keep myself awake . then i just went to sleep . and yeah , i knew the piece for yarn would be huge so i didn't even try to continue with the past one . another one to my " failed " folder ! this is the second time i chose a reference from the same artist and this is the second time i fail . MAYBE THAT'S BEEN THE PROBLEM THIS WHOLE TIME

i was setting ideas for the prompts , and the idea i had for this one was actually very different ! i was thinking , maybe scriabin using edgar like a puppet with strings of yarn ! that was a cool concept . maybe too cool . so i was like . . . what if someone already has this idea ?? what if we end up doing the same things ? something i want to avoid . i feel like , that's an image that also appears in other people's heads . so i was thinking . . . what else could i do . . . . . . and don't even know how , but i got the idea of that one scene scri described on chapter 20 !

this one ! it had been a scene i wanted to draw for a long time . honestly , i want to draw all the memories they described ough I JUST LOVE DRAWING FOR THIS UNIVERSE SO MUCH . it feeds my age regression delusions .

as soon as i was up , i tried not to waste too much time so i could work with this one . i really wanted to get it done that day ! since i knew i'd be out on saturday .

let's see . . . when i told brusk about this one i talked about how i had NO IDEA how i was going to achieve this and she shared this cool website with a bunch of 3D models of pretty rooms ! so i searched for one that looked similar to what i had in mind for their room .

started thinking . . . what do i think their room looks like ? at first i was thinking of it a bit like bluey's room , maybe . . . or dipper and mabel's room too . just two beds in the corners of the room . a bunk bed would also work for them , but let's just leave it like that .

this is a bit of what i had in mind ! maybe edgar's bed being the one on the lefft and scri's the one on the right . i tried to make it look messier for that reason lolz . two windows , some toys on the floor , a nice carpet in between the beds . . . i can't really imagine them having posters around , to be honest . maybe just some pictures . . . even if i added two beds ( for obvious reasons ) i have the hc that scri would mostly sleep on edgar's bed . a bit like what he does on the chapters after he has a body ! scri just goes , sits on the corner of the bed and even if edgar told him not to sleep there he still does and edgar doesn't do anything about it lolz . i can imagine scri walking to edgar's bed in the middle of the night to cuddle with edgar and that's that . so , in theory , edgar's bed should be the messy one and scri's would be made most of the time since he doesn't really sleep there . " his bed would be made " , is that how you even call it ? i don't know . . . then , they'd have fights and would sleep separately . ough , my little kids . </3

so yeah , that was the layout i had planned originally . i searched on the website , and these caught my eye !

( links for them are here and here

i was going to use that ffirst one as the reference but then i was like . that's a bad place to put a bed . ( ??? ) so i kept looking , even if i wanted to give those vibes . then , found that second one and my brain immediately went PERFECT

BUT .

i have a little problem . and my perception of time is absolutely broken . I CAN'T VISUALIZE HOW THINGS WERE BEFORE 2000'S i SWEAR . 2000's for me are like . how everything is rn . maybe like those nostalgia pics ppl like to share on social media . but , for everything before the 2000's it's like

WHICH IS A FUCKING PROBLEM BECAUSE I CAN'T VISUALIZE ANYTHING FOR THEM THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT BELONGS TO YEAR 1800

i knew for a fact that the story was set in the 90's but i also wasn't sure ? because there's this entry on violation where scriabin writes a date .

I WAS PRETTY CONFUSED , i wanted to go with that but i also knew that we couldn't really trust scri when it comes to anything . i asked zar because i wanted to have everything in place and she did say that scri was lying lolz . I JUST THINK OF THAT A LOT everytime i want them to do something i'm constantly thinking " did this thing exist back then " " is this how this thing looked when this happened " IT'S ANNOYING

i had to do some calculations . . . let's see , if the story is set roughly on the 90's , and edgar's like , 30 years old let's say ( i hc him being +30 , but zar usually says that he's in his late twenties so i'd go with 27 or 28 ) , so he was a kid on . 1970 , let's say . i literally googled " rooms in the 70's " but i was still leaning into something that looked more old that that . THEY ALSO SEEM TO LIVE IN THE FOREST OR SOMETHING IDK their house looks old in my head

i did end up changing the bed's design , though . make it a little more square-ish . if that makes sense . oh , also ! i added some stairs for scri , since he's so small and the bed looks tall ( it was actually even taller in the 3D render ) . he maybe moved the stairs to edgar's bed so he could just hop in when he wanted . smol boy .

so well . . . i had no idea if i could trust the process , to be honest . i had to move some stuff around , pushed the bed to the corner of the room , added the window in between the beds and uh idk i think that's all i had to move

so , i went from this

to this

to , well . this !

before even starting i watched a tutorial . i know for a fact that i'm not good at backgrounds . and i really REALLY didn't want to fuck this one up because if i got it right it would be SO GREAT . this is the tutorial i watched , by the way . . . it was super useful !

i started working on it at 1pm maybe , and as you can see by the hour on the screenshots ( i just checked and i took the screenshots at night lolz ah well ) it took me the whole day . ougghh . once i got to take a break and eat something , it was time to color stuff . i had fun choosing colors and textures for everything . . . really like that one wallpaper i chose ! and green always looks pretty on everything . also , added that one texture i always use for the skin and i really like how it makes everything look . looks less flat .

i didn't know what i wanted to do with those pictures . i just added one of edgar and his grandma maybe and a random rose . i wanted to make it a butterfly and looking back at it i should've gone with the butterfly but i couldn't get it to look right , bleh .

also , those strings holding the frame weren't supposed to be red but i accidentally drew them in the same layer as the yarn , so when i colored everything the strings also got colored and was too lazy to get them back to normal lolz .

coloring little scri was really fun ! i was planning to draw edgar crawling on the floor originally , as scri described . but i couldn't find a reference i liked and also , it was about time to draw scri in one of these ! it's been a while since he showed up . i just keep drawing edgar but i do find funny that everytime i tried to draw scri on these recently i just fail . DID I GET USED TO DRAW EDGAR AND NOW I CAN'T DRAW SCRI ANYMORE ??????? IDK but that can't be good .

uh , what else . . . coloring everything was a long process but picking colors was still fun . scri's sweater was actually blue at first but i didn't like how it looked so i changed it . . .

getting the yarn in place was actually harder than i expected . I DIDN'T REALLY ADD A BUNCH OF STUFF TO LOOP IT WITH , i wanted to make their room look messier at first but i got lazy . maybe add some clothes on the floor or shoes , i don't knnnnow . . . I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO ADD MORE DETAILS I'M SICK OF THIS DRAWING

i tried to make it just a whole thread of yarn going everywhere but at the end i did add some random pieces because it looked empty , bleh . even know , i feel like the yarn is not noticeable enough and that bugs me off because YARN IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE MAIN THING ON THE PIECE and you can't even see it .

( quick break to say that i'm listening to dusty dirty curse by kikuo and i keep feeling sad because i didn't know the song before going to the concert a month ago , I REMEMBER ENJOYING IT AND STUFF BUT I LISTENED TO IT LIVE AND DIDN'T KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THAT WOULD BE FOR ME IN THE FUTURE . god i only knew its name because zarla told me but god GGGODDD PLEASE TAKE ME BACKKKK PLEASE I CAN ENJOY IT MORE THAN BEFORE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I WAS SO HAPPY BACK THEN

my art is already HARD TO SEE I'D SAY but bleh

i was almost done coloring stuff . . . and sometimes for some reason my csp lags a bit when i try to change to certain brushes . well , i tried to change brushes , my csp freezes , the screen gets black for a second and i'm thinking " please don't crash , please don't crash " then i got a blue screen

fun ! ( fun fact , blue screens used to scare me so much . everything related with technology errors still scares me but last pc i had would crash over and over and over again so i kinda just got used to it lolz . now this one doesn't crash as much . last time it did was because i tried to play minecraft with shaders and it really didn't like that . oh well , where was i . .

i couldn't remember last time i saved and honestly it SCARED ME because i couldn't afford to lose progress back then . it was probably past 11PM at this point . . . i did get why my pc crashed , though . . . i had it turned on since 1PM . i did take breaks and stuff but i didn't turn it off completely ? so it was probably tired . at that point my time with csp opened was more than 11 hours . well . . .

i turn it on again . . . i check the file . . . didn't lose a lot ! i just colored the lamp on the drawer and the calendar lolz . i checked my file though , and i realized that csp actually restored some of the progress for me ! i didn't know it could do that . . . when it comes to the app crashing , i knew i could always trust sai2 . everytime the app crashed , i would open it again and it immediately would be like " hey you didn't save do you want your file back ooorrr . . . . . . . " and i never got that on csp until that ! really appreciated .

didn't know what to do for that calendar , exactly . so i just added that day's date . october 11th !

what else . . . had fun with the lightning and the colors . it was mostly me experimenting . i didn't know that to make for edgar's blanket . . . and well i just love the combination between blue and yellow . so why not throw some stars .

also , that bit of green is supossed to be scri's bed . added some random drawings to the paper sheets on the floor . . .

i searched for a while to find a nice texture to add to the floor . . . most of the ones i found weren't free . and when i finally found one i liked it took foverer to download . i was like PLEASE I JUST NEED TO DO THIS ONE THING

and i think that was all ! i'm really proud of this piece . it's my best piece currently . took around 13 hours with breaks . . . started at 1PM and finished it at 3AM maybe ? took two breaks to eat and shower. i'm used to take this long on pieces but god . it also has like , 300 layers . maybe 200 , i don't know . . . and makes me so much happier knowing that it ( mostly ( came out of my brain and not from a random pinterest reference !

i wish i had a speedpaint and i've been wanting to record speedpaints for these but I ALWAYS FORGET TO PRESS RECORD UGH

with and without filter ! i really , REALLY love this filter . it kinda gives 2016 tumblr vibes . or one of those filters on instagram no one actually uses . Río de Janeiro

as you can see , there's some stuff i cropped out . mostly because it didn't look good . . . those books on the shelf look kinda odd and the window is also throwing me off .

quick comparison ! last time i made a background this complicated was back in 2021 . . . even if it's been a long time since i really tried with one of these it's still way better . i've grown so much as an artist X3

i don't know if i'll work on today's piece , if i'm being honest . . . i think i'll try but i was out all day today and woke up at six . tired . . . was falling asleep in the bus back home until bug by kairiki bear started playing . my eyes just snapped wide open lolz . i really don't want to skip another prompt , ugh . i do enjoy drawing edgar bleeding to death , so that might encourage me just enough lolz . i was also out on saturday , as i already mentioned . didn't do a whole lot . . . i did write a small jake / edgar drabble i know for a fact i WON'T POST because i'm not good with writing !

pics i took today ! aren't i pretty ? also , i told you my shoes were cool !!!!!!!!!!!!

i'll have something to eat for dinner . . . then i'll see what i can do X3

also lol i've been having trouble to TURN MY MONITOR ON and i'm afraid that one of these days i'll try to work on a piece and it won't turn on . ugghh

[carnivoral]

i treat ask games like surveys this is make me admit stuff by lost-head-adventure or smth idk its deactiviated

Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

not including messages i consider too private to share on tumblr. yes

You talked to an ex today, correct?

nope.

Have you taken someones virginity?

no i dont think so. all of my partners have been more experienced than me

Is trust a big issue for you?

yes ): im working on it

Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

i like lots of people but as far as "crushes", no not recently. i should though

What are you excited for?

my partner system to get home from work. our next grocery run. autumn. my birthday next month

What happened tonight?

i posted about that today but, other than all that, i ate some pizza... honestly i should write or record or something tonight

Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

no? wasted chicks are super funny

Is confidence cute?

confidence is hot yeah

What is the last beverage you had?

a monster. i should get water or something

How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

none but i dont really talk to a lot of people. only the women in my family and i cant trust them. its not about being the opposite sex tho

Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

yes

What are you gonna do Saturday night?

its sunday rn but yesterday i cried so hard i gave myself a headache and listened to a new album

What are you going to spend money on next?

probably a new microphone or sushi

Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

yes

Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

yes? of course

Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

my partner system, but specifically mar, rich, robin, and trent

The last time you felt broken?

today at like 7pm

Have you had sex today?

yeah lol <3

Are you starting to realize anything?

being 23 aint shit. i dont know fuckin anything.

Are you in a good mood?

its alright. could be better

Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

yeah theyre chill

Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

no thank gawd. otherwise id be the type of douchebag to go around calling my shit hazel.

What do you want right this second?

a haircut... jack... a punch to the jaw. (not sft text beyond this point to the end of the answer) to be dressed up in vinyl lingerie to match someone elses military gear and ride his dick while gagging on his fingers

What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

nothing. id end up in jail

Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

nah i recently dyed my roots again. its black but im a natural blonde

Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

usually people who arent intentionally witty are unintentionally hilarious so thats hard to picture. but if our humor just isnt compatible i mean. maybe. probably not tho that speaks to a lot of other shit

What was the last thing that made you laugh?

@fuckin-pistol-whipped's replies

Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

yeah. sunset eyes, if this somehow gets back to you, im sorry i didnt give you a better warning. ill be back sooner than you know. it wont be months this time. i want to figure something out but i dont want to keep giving you half promises. soon, i dont know when. i love you. it means something, i swear.

Does everyone deserve a second chance?

yeah id say so

Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

sometimes <3

Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

oh yeah for sure. i think we're in a situationship. maybe we're dating? idk i cant rember. god i need to see him again soon. i should watch some videos or smth

Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

nah but i usually drink diet soda. if im buying it out at like a gas station or smth ill go full sugar cuz its just a one time thing but. i think i drink two diet cokes a day. i dont always finish em

Listening to?

+ shuffle queue

Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

yeah but i prefer pen tbh. i keep like two hand notebooks a pencil and a pen on me at all times

Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

probably at his house with his cats. or with his band

Do you believe in love at first sight?

i believe in instant chemistry but love is kinda something u collaborate on. its like a living thing. ive recently figured out that two people can be in love and still wanna maim each other a little bit from time to time

Who did you last call?

@fadenkreuze but thats like a given. it was @antichristxsuperstar in front

Who was the last person you danced with?

my cat. it counts, in my book

Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

we were having sex and i guess my mouth just looked that good hanging open and drooling

When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

i dont think its been a year but. it was probably springtime i wanna say-- no, late winter. valentines day cupcakes. mini ones.

Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

nah im not a hugger. he knows i like him ok tho

Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

i dont believe in embarassment. but yea sometimes i make a fool of myself. usually it makes em giggle and then its fine <3

Do you tan in the nude?

i do a lot of things in the nude but i dont tan. im goth so

If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

i dont remember it

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

yes actually it was rich. hey rich

Who was the last person to call you?

Do you sing in the shower?

yes sometimes but i sing all the time

Do you dance in the car?

Ever used a bow and arrow?

Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

Do you think musicals are cheesy?

no theyre an art form. i think A musical can be cheesy but not all of em. having said that ive never been a huge theater person but ill watch a bootleg every now and then

Is Christmas stressful?

it doesnt have to be but some people make it stressful. its lonely tbh

Ever eat a pierogi?

yep. theyre p good

Favorite type of fruit pie?

peach

Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

equestrian, veternarian, rockstar.

Do you believe in ghosts?

"do you believe in barometric pressure" "do you believe in wool fibers" "do you believe in the oxidation of metals"

Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

all the time

Take a vitamin daily?

Wear slippers?

yes and i encourage others to do so as well

Wear a bath robe?

nope too warm and humid where i am

What do you wear to bed?

the buff

First concert?

it was a festival for nu metal bands in like 2008 or something. metalfest i think it was? or something close to that name. i dont remember all the acts that played but mudvayne was there i know for sure

Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

in my town theres only a walmart but i prefer target

Nike or Adidas?

Cheetos Or Fritos?

fritos are more versatile. remind me of chilis and soups

Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Favorite Taylor Swift song?

Ever take dance lessons?

Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

yeah. professional cocksucker

Can you curl your tongue?

some people cant do that?

Ever won a spelling bee?

this is a traumatizing memory for me i refuse to elaborate

Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

yes often. usually during sex

What is your favorite book?

i hate these questions cuz then i forget every single book ive ever read. idk ill say the most recent book i read. the long hard road out of hell by marilyn manson

Do you study better with or without music?

with but it has to be instrumental or so loud its mind numbing owwww speaking of my ear fuckin hurts fuck you billy corgan

Regularly burn incense?

not anymore

Ever been in love?

Who would you like to see in concert?

obvious answers are like. mm. nin. slipknot (but like in 2002 or smth).

What was the last concert you saw?

in person? i dont even remember. its been over a decade

Hot tea or cold tea?

cold tea always preferable

Tea or coffee?

coffee. also cold

Favorite type of cookie?

sugar cookie or chocolate chip

Can you swim well?

nah

Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

yes??

Are you patient?

extraordinarily

DJ or band, at a wedding?

either or. both? both

Ever won a contest?

nope

Ever have plastic surgery?

nah

Which are better black or green olives?

ew

Opinions on sex before marriage?

theres another type of sex?

Best room for a fireplace?

the den

Do you want to get married?

yes

[scrmngtts]

i checked my last entry prior to the last one.. i can kinda feel somethings gonna happen i shouldve trusted my instincts..

OKAY SO LETS START!//

Again, im writing this to vent and journal my emotions.. nothing else. to help me cope and to help me process my thoughts better.

SATURDAY.. I invited them to go to this place to support my friends. it went well, i met his bestfriend again first we chatted for a bit and then we head over to the place.. it was fun id say.. i enjoyed.. my friends were there too it was nice seeing them as well. we had lunch together. was really nice as well cuz we get to talk and he seem to really like my friends which is really nice i like that, they were laughing and such and they were getting along. really glad on that part. idk if he ever was jealous that all my friends are mostlly gus, tbh idont think he cares so.. shrug i gues//

so yeah after we ate we went home, i said my goodbyes to my friends, they were nice i missed them so much i wanna see them again without him there to be honest.. i dont know what went in my mind why did i invitefd them.. cuz it led to things i really didnt like..

we went to his place with his bestfriend.. he said if we can just chill for a bit.. sure.. chill for a bit.. but yeah that was so.. the most awkward situation ive ever been.. tbh idek why im stilling talking to him after all this...

it is smtg really weird that i dont even wanna think about it.. or write about it.. it made me feel really uncomfy... whats worse is i dont have someone to talk to about it.. cuz its so weird i dont want anyone to know about it.. it was nust very awkward and weird and i dont knwo.. im really still all over the place just thinking about that just typing my thoughts about that makes me really uncomfortable..

so after what happened i kinda detached myself from the situation because i really dont want to deal with it i really wanna run away from it.. i realy wanna drop everything and leave i noticed that im like that i always wanted to run away when things get out of hand.. i dont fight i flight.. i just feel like i can always deal with my emotions alone, i can always think better when im on my own.

anyways.. he felt smtg was off cuz he asked me right away. also i was with his bestfriend at the time and i told her im not ok that i need some time alone and think things. so i really dont know if she told him smtg? but yeah he asked if i was okay.. i said i dont know, can u giv eme more time to think and he said yes then we can talk when im ready.. this was around maybe 7pm on a saturday night.

then around 11:30 he called me.. i dont really wanna pick up but.. i still did.. i was actually busy at the time so i told him ill call him when im done.. i finished around 1am.. then he was still up.. we were in call for like an hour and 30 mins..

idk if i wanna continue.. maybe next post?

[lykoi96]

alright. what sonic chars do i draw as scruffy little weirdos next

[spaceoceania]

My Chemistry teacher: *recommends me to go into Chemistry Honors*

Me: *fucks up one of the simplest things about naming covalent and ionic bonds in the Warm-Up*

[faela404]

☆The Library ☆

kazuha x gn! reader

prompt: - you and kazuha attend the same university, him being a english lit major and you being a person in stem😎 your paths never crossed until that day in the library…

*this is an smau so please do expect a lot of twitter posts and messages to read, there will be proper writing too but, it will mostly be that!!*

warning! this chapter involves mentions of self- neglect, possible eating disorders, insomnia, swearing, implications of inappropriate acts (though it never happened), mentions of anxiety and biblical references (kinda? idk jesus and the bible was mentioned in a lighthearted manner)

masterlist - prev | next

☆it was a mistake ☆

i’ve been sitting here, on my phone, for over 6 hours now. this isn’t good. i’ve forgotten to eat again.

i’ve never been too good at taking care of myself, most the time i’m too engrossed in what im doing to remember that i need to eat, drink or even use the bathroom. however, recently it’s been getting worse. before, i would be able to remember by atleast 7pm but lately, i’ve been having my dinners at 12am, sometimes even later.

i suppose i should be happy i remembered just before midnight this time, but i just don’t see it that way. to me, this is still a failure.

pulling myself out of the warm comfort of my bed below me, i wandered out towards the kitchen. we never tend to have much food in, with us being university students it can be hard to get enough money for such necessities. nonetheless, i managed to find a packet of chicken super noodles (if you don’t know what these are or don’t eat chicken, just read it as your favourite type of instant noodles😌). careful i pulled open the bag and dumped the contents out into my bowl, along with the flavoured powder and some hot water from the kettle, before putting this in the microwave.

after finishing my noodles and placing the bowl in the sink to wash up another day, i once again returned to the comfort of my bed and bright phone screen.

i didn’t get to bed until 3:49am.

i woke up too late, again.

i’m going to be in so much trouble.

i wish my class wasn’t so small, then maybe the professor wouldn’t notice me as i slip through the door and attempt to make my way to my seat.

we’re doing lab work.

she notices me.

“how lovely of you to finally join us, y/n” god did she have to say it so loud. i feel so many eyes on me but, i can’t falter. i try my hardest to ignore them as she continues to speak.

“please stay behind once class is finished y/n, we need to talk” she sounds so smug. i give a curt nod and quickly scurry to my lab partner.

i must look disheveled, i can feel how red my face is, the sweat dripping down my neck- getting caught on the neckline of my shirt. mascara from yesterday is sure to be lining the underneath of my eyes.

my lab partner, lumine, looks worried. however, she seems to ignore my disgusting outward appearance as she begins to explain the experiment to me, giving me time to write down her words and the results.

class wraps up quickly. everyone begins to shuffle out, talking to eachother of their weekend plans, but not me.

i make my way towards professor ningguang. she looks angry but, she doesn’t shout.

“i did warn you there would be consequences if you was absent again, didn’t i?”

i’m so nervous, i’ve never gotten into trouble before.

“yes, professor but, i wasn’t able to get much sleep i’ve haven’t been able to-“

she cuts me off. she’s angrier than she’s letting on.

“i don’t have time for your excuses, y/n. you have been late 5 times in the past 2 weeks, that is completely unacceptable. however, with only 3 weeks left of school before winter break, i can’t give you the standard punishment for a disobedience such as this. instead, you will help out the librarian. ms. lisa has been complaining recently of the mess the library has become. for the next 3 weeks, you will go to the library after school and clean it until there isn’t a spec of dust left, do i make myself clear?”

im not sure if it was the nerves or the fear of her telling me this in such a calm way, but i made no move to object. i simply nodded and left as she dismissed me.

it wasn’t until i got back to my dorm that it truly sank in.

are. you. fucking. kidding. me?!

clean the library? everyday? for 3 weeks?!

i suppose it could be worse, but come on! i have a life, i have homework! i can’t dedicate every evening to cleaning a stupid library!

god, this is going to be miserable.

a/n - ahhhh this was so fun to create! i can’t wait for ya’ll to see the next part! i hope you enjoyed this and will enjoy the rest of the series! take care of yourselves <3

taglist- open! @kazuhaprnt

[specialwonho]

GOODMORNING

[beesmygod]

ugh

despite being such a gossip and drama hound myself, i do not relish being the subject of it. you might think its because being the subject of scrutiny and attention is stressful. it’s actually because the people who keep lining up to try to shots at me wind up being the dumbest people alive who knock themselves out somehow. i think its important to get in front of “a narrative”, especially in this case, where every player is a lying liar who lies ahahaha. this one is way funnier than morbi actually. up until now, i was tactfully setting aside what happened out of uh. whatever kindness was left in my heart, i guess. more fool me!

im not going out of my way to crop ppl out of this if you look bad its your own damn fault. no one made you type this shit but you. dont post shit you can’t cash.

you might have been confused by the exchange between anon and this guy yesterday when i reblogged it to set the record straight on morbi. i was, until very recently, an infrequent contributor to his webcomics discord. earlier this year, i tried to reach out into more communities so i could get to know more artists and keep up with what’s hot (what a stupid fucking idea that was, in hindsight). a few days ago, some weirdly supportive of kiwifarms tweets from a comic artist who was ruined by them were posted for discussion. everyone pretty much just noted that it was weird with one person asking what kf even was. everyone else explained so i added this stupid shit

note: this is at 5:24 am. because at 7pm that night, one of the people in the discord goes completely full fucking tilt out of literally nowhere. i have screencapped the entire conversation up until that point as proof that i 1. literally did not say anything else the entire day and 2. proof that the conversation was completely normal up until that point.

inexplicably, people in the server put on kids gloves and start trying to come to a middle ground with this dipshit like hmm yes maybe we are a little kiwifarms could you explain more so we can understand you. when i noticed an hour later i saw red.

for someone who was “not helping”, the attention-seeking hysteric suddenly evaporated into thin air. i dont think anyone has actually shamed them for their behavior before. the conversation was shut down rather than resolved because i raised the temperature. daniel invited me to speak to him more privately in his dm if i had any more concerns bc i was pissed it was being swept under the rug. so i did.

here is the conversation in full. im posting it bc it makes him look like a clown and because later, he characterizes this as “chasing him” into his dms. what i didnt realize until today is that he says that the person going nuts is a moderator’s sibling, which explains why they’re permitted to take huge shits on people with no repercussions.

having committed the worst crime you can do in a nerd group (be mean) i was subjected to a post-mortem about the event (?) which culminated with this unbelievable irony cap

after my 10 mins were up, i said “i am not a good cultural fit or share the same moral priorities as this server and i will show myself out” and left. i vented on my twitter with blistering posts basically saying “well they’re all young. its annoying and seems bad but what can i do but leave”. and left it there.

it seems insanely obvious to me, so obvious that i struggled to even have to explain it to people whose entire brain appeared to have leaked out of their skull, that allowing someone in your discord for artists accuse random artists of wanting to reboot the mass shooting and violent transphobia website is literally the worst possible behavior you could permit. i wasnt expecting the mods to leap into action and do something, as they seemed to desperately think. i wanted to not belong to a community that would tolerate or entertain this.

anyway, yesterday morbi happened. i reblogged that post and daniel, after being told he wasnt a problem, decided he absolutely had to be one right now. he followed me on twitter and began posting ominously about a “write-up” of what happened between morbi and i because “some people” (this could literally only be the discord chat, and the reason he didnt want to post it there so they could snicker at it to themselves was because he thought this would humiliate or scare me) were curious.

maybe you’ve noticed a little flaw in the logic both morbi and dan have when it comes to “doxing”: for two people who are very concerned about privacy they’re out here retweeting the very information they’re decrying as invasive and then dan goes and fucking googles her and posts on a public platform more information about her than i cared to know. i cant stop thinking about how these morons were completely convinced they were doing something noble and righteous here by standing up for someone that maybe might be a black woman (hence: racism) based entirely on like a pintrest account

the cloying, transparent attempts to seduce me into messaging him first to soothe his battered ego are so desperate and pathetic that they make you hurt from the sidelines. you can see me gently try to explain why they look like a complete lunatic clutching their pearls over unmasking anonymous hate before i give up. there was so much obviously wrong about what they were doing that i was in disbelief that they were telling me that they were doing it.

1. taking a “both sides” approach doesn’t work when one person is a serial sexual harasser and the other posted an email address attached to a near cry-typing comment.

2. the attempt to use black women as a cudgel to defeat his posting enemy.

3. whatever this. attempt at banter is. idk man.

all of this didn’t work, so he tried showing me a piece of what he was writing that was the most deliberately inflammatory in the hopes that this morsel would finally compel me to bite and come begging for a re-write to save my webcomic career.

i wasn’t posting in a way that was drawing attention to this, it was a nosy (positive) friend who noticed this happening and went “holy shit what the fuck are you doing” which caused him to backpedal furiously

i was planning on letting him post it and just letting it speak for itself. i cannot think of a more ruinous thing to do to yourself than to ally with a sexual harasser and post openly and transparently about how extremely mad you are about how a girl made you feel. what could have possibly gone wrong.

in the end, daniel signed off with this post, signaling a more positive future for himself and his comic since his plan to annoy someone with a reputation for being a huge bitch multiple times by trying to downplay the severity of his and his friend’s actions, somehow blew up in his face

ah wait hold on. im getting word that he posted this after deleting a different post. this one

if there were any doubt what this were all about, daniel went and tweeted it out (literally) because subtext is difficult. my demand for a public apology for being accused baselessly of a career ending lie in order to stop this behavior from ever happening again has been recontextualized in his head as mean old bea picking on him and forcing him to do terrible things like “moderate” as a moderator.

over the past week ive been subject to racists, sex pests and 0/10 trolls but the spineless, moral coward is the most egregiously memorable of the lot. despite the amount of leeway i gave him for his repeated weak-willed behavior, he always found a new way to own himself without external prompting. despite me walking away and being satisfied with that, he came back for more. there are some people you cannot help, there are some people i don’t want to help because they cannot stop putting their hands on hot stoves. and then there are people who are begging for it.

somehow, it will be my fault that he feels bad and embarrassed about his behavior because i have catalogued it after being pushed around enough and it will not be seen as a direct result of his repeated failure of conscience.

anyway lol, lmao

[mintylaf]

Hey!!! How are you?

I saw that your requests are open (well... I saw that in the pinned post)... and if they really are open...

Can I request Hanako-Kun, Tsukasa Yugi, Akane (the boy), and Teru Minamoto with a supernatural!s/o who has the power to manipulate space things but doesn't use this power so as not to hurt humans and even mixes with students to pretend to be human?

Manipulating space like... creating black holes, white holes, wormholes, meteors, comets, supernovas, etc.

And, taking advantage of the ask, can I be 🇧🇷 anon?

Sorry for any grammar mistakes, I'm from another country and my native language is different from English and I'm using Google Translate because I'm afraid of making mistakes in another language ;-;

I..I LOVE THIS?! (Qnd yes you can be 🇧🇷 anon<3)

Your wish is my command ❤

Type : fluff

Tws: idk teru trying to exorcist reader

________________________________

TERU

- at first he tried to exorcist you

- "Hii! My name's y/- w-wait CALM DOWN!"

- after you explained to him you only wanted to be here to be there to experience going to a human school he let you wander off

- (totally not because you were good looking)

- he kept an extra eye on you though

- a few days after he tried to exorcist you, you started talking to him! (In more of a friendly manner)

- "aye, Minamoto, wanna see something cool?"

- he warned you not to do anything dangerous and you ofcourse got offended!

- how low did he think of you😒

- you told him to meet you at the roof top of the school a little after 7pm

- when you saw him walk through the doorway and ontop the roof top

- you started a comet shower

- the night sky shinned bright as all the comets flew past

- "it's nice isn't it!"

- Teru smiled and sat next to you

- "call me Teru okay?" You slightly blushed but quickly covered it up

- "okayy, T-e-r-u"

- a few months after, you foolishly let your self fall in love with him

- you planned everything out on how to tell him! You weren't gonna chicken out!

- "Teruu, meet me on the roof top at 7. Okay?"

- before he even gave you an answer you ran away

- when 7pm came, you suddenly regretted everything

- "what happened y/n?" He came in and saw a small picnic blanket and food laid down

- "I uhm, thought having a dinner here would be nice today"

- when he sat down you started a meteor shower

- you grabbed his hands and looked into his eyes

- "I like you teru! I really do..will you be my boyfriend?"

- he went silent..ofcourse. how naive were you to think you had a chance. Who would want to date a gho-

- "I like you too y/n" he smiled and kissed your forehead

- now let's enjoy the food!

________________________________

AKANE

- you guys got along quite well

- you both thought Aoi was really pretty and had similar personalities

- he just never thought he'd end up with you!

- when you started dating he always asked for meteor shower dates

- you both had cool powers and had were an amazing duo

- he froze time, and you would start cosmic showers

- you guys loved to cuddle when you were alone and watch movies

- he loves you and thinks you're really cool

________________________________

A/n : IM SONSORRY ANON, I got really lazy after I finished Teruu. I might come back and do tsukasa and hanako another day. Hope you liked these too though

[yourrescuemission]

❥ name: cristina

❥ sign: leo

❥ height: my drivers license says 5’3. sticking with that.

❥ time: 7PM CST at bna ✈️ (gonna hit post at 7:20)

❥ birthday: august 4

❥ fav band/artist: originally left this blank but like im going to say panic at the disco but like. a version that doesn’t exist.

❥ last movie: violent night!! david harbour beating up bad guys as Santa is my new christmas tradition

❥ last show: my list says white lotus s2 last finished which might be right

❥ when I created this blog: february 3, 2011. it was a scan of my daily calendar so it is easy to tell

❥ what I post: yes.

❥ other blogs?: yes.

❥ do I get asks? not for like a decade lmao

❥: followers: 201 +/- 3 (i think the last 3 are bots that i need to block)

❥ average hours of sleep: i need at least 8 to be happy

❥ instruments: i played clarinet as a tiny but not for a very long time

❥ what I’m wearing: dolly parton shirt, black pants, brown doc martens, black jacket from work

❥ dream trip: all of them

❥ fav songs right now: ive never heard a song in my life

tagged by @thewholedamnboulangerie thanks for the nostalgia it was fun airport time wasting

[honkhonkrichard]

Theory: Stanley Uris was Murdered.

Tagging @vvanini I hope you can follow this okay it’s very word vomity lol

Okay So TW because this post will touch on Stan's death ad the methods behind it

I propose that Stan Uris was murdered. by IT. In his home on that fateful night. I think that Stan posed the biggest threat to IT and therefore IT felt the need to take him out before the battle even started.

Allow me to explain.

Okay, so, I need to lay out some basic "rules" or "facts" before I make my case. They are as follows.

- IT planted it's roots in Derry, and finds it difficult to leave, but still can at it’s own wil.  If you read the book (I honestly don't blame you if you haven't) You'd know that once the Losers kill IT for the final time, Derry (the Physical town) is obliterated. Buildings explode, sinkholes appear, things are flooded. The town is in ruins by the time that the Losers leave the sewers. The movies don't adapt this so If this is news to you thats fine. the bottom line is that destroying IT destroys Derry, like ripping a tree out of the ground with all it's roots. Because of this, we can make the claim that while it can Leave Derry (as it does every 27 years) it probably takes tremandous amount of power to do so, which is why IT only goes when the cycle is over. Why does this matter? Well, what if IT left Derry to get to Stan? The murders had stopped for about a week when they're all in the Jade of the Orient. Plenty of time for IT to cross from Maine to Georgia. Side Note: We KNOW IT leaevs Maine to elsewhere in the world because of King's extended universe all interconnecting. it's not far off at all to make the claim that IT is the same evil that haunts, say The Shining's Overlook Hotel, which is in Colarado.

- IT is omnipresent This is also a given, IT lives everywhere, and can fuck with time and space in godlike (or maybe eldritch like) ways. in IT: Chapter Two, when Mike claims "IT Doesn't know I know what I know" he's unfortunately wrong, because we know that IT can be in A) Multiple places at once, B) can manipulate anything on the drop of a hat (See: Stan being teleported away from everyone else in Chapter One, Everything about Neibolt, etc) and C) Knows everyone's deep fears. This is further proven by IT Saying things like "Beep Beep Richie" (although this is Horribly Horribly executed in the films, ugh.) and so on and so forth. On top of all of this, We can make the claim that IT can exist outside of Time as well, given that IT is immortal. SO, what's stopping IT from Knowing Mike was going to call them all back (Espically considering that IT TOLD Mike to do this?). Even if we keep IT's omnipresence to the location that IT inhabits (in this case Derry) IT would still have knowledge of where the losers are through Mike. And if you take the Lucky Seven/Chosen Seven route (oh my god I got theories on that too) you could argue IT knows where they are inherently due to their cosmic status.

- Stan is the "most Powerful" loser So, obviously all the Loser's are powerful, espically considering they're the ones who Defeat IT (Again going on to the Lucky/Chosen Seven theory). This next claim is going to be less focused on what the 2019/2017 Movies do because they are Bad Movies and that's a whole other rant. However, in the book, Stan is (to my knowledge feel free to correct me on any of this) the only loser to Actively ward off and 'defeat' IT on his own without running away. He uses his belief in this what is Real (birds) to ward off what is "not real" (IT). The other losers do manage to take down IT in their own Right, but Stan is ultimately the one to Really get IT. This is because Stan's character revolves around Belief and Willpower. These are, in some form or another, the ways to Defeat IT. the ritual of Chud is a battle of Wills. in the book, Bill takes IT down and Eddie does the final blow. In the Remake (ugh) the losers can defeat it Technically using the belief that IT isn't as powerful as it claims because IT's "just a clown" (Ihatethatfuckingendingsomuchugh). Stan being much more skeptical than the rest of the group in his ability to understand Reality vs IT's illusions is a powermove, and IT knows that ability doesn't go away as Stan grows up, but rather he gets more powerful. Stan is the Only loser out of the 6 who left that has any sort of knowledge about IT, where the other losers have nothing. Bev has nightmares, yes, but she still forgets them. We're told in his chapter (Chapter 3, Six Phone Calls (1985), Part One: Stanley Uris Takes a Bath) that he has some hazy knowledge of his place in the Lucky Seven, and even goes so far as to MENTION it sometimes, even if he doesn't quite remember or understand any of it, his knowledge of IT and Derry is worlds more prominent than that of the rest of the losers.

(page 52 of IT:  "Stanley, nothing's wrong with your life!"  "I don't mean from inside." he said. "From inside is fine. I'm talking about outside. Something that should be over and isn't. I wake up frmo these dreams and think, 'My whole pleasent life has been nothing but the eye of some storm I don't understand.' I'm afraid. But then it just... fades. The way dreams do." OR  page 45: He had been smiling a little. Now the smile faltered, and for a moment he seemed puzzled. His eyes had darkened, as if he looked inward, consulting some interior device which ticked and whirred correctly but which, ultimately he understood no more than the average man understands the workings of the watch on his wrist. "The turtle couldn't help us," he said suddenly. he said that quite clearly.)

So, Stan has some cosmic knowledge of IT and Maturin and his role in the battle against It. What does any of this have to do with his death? Well, let me point out some other things about Stan's death that always stuck out to me. - His death chapter is narrated by his wife, Patty, rather than himself. The other chapters - almost all the other chapters - are narrated by their respective Loser (the caviot for this is Ben, but Ben is also wasted out of his damn mind so its understandable.) - Stan's personality is few and far between in the book, but we know he has a weird little sense of humour and that he's incredibly logical. I think that this logical part of him would be able to understand that Suicide is Never Ever the answer, and that it would cause FAR more problems than it would solve. (the 2019 movie tries to reexplain his death and it's crap and i hate the letters i hate the letters so much im gonna explode) The other losers try to rationalize his death by saying "He would rather Die Clean than Live Dirty (Page 506, Chapter 10, The Reunion, part 3, 'Ben Hanscom Gets Skinny') but he had already BEEN Dirty when he defeated IT the first time, and I think he would've recognized that. - upon finding him, Patty (in her narration) notes that Stan's head is bent back over the edge of the bathtub, so from his sight she would have been upside down. If Stan DID kill himself, why would he be positioned like that? It's unnatural, like someone Posed him. - the cuts on his arms are two length wise cuts. I'm no expert but.. that's suspicious. That's weird. - IT is written in blood on the wall. Why? Why would Stan right THAT of all things? You know who DOES like to paint with blood? IT.

Alright, returning to my thesis statement, Stanley Uris was murdered. Do I think Stan genuinely was going to take a bath at 7pm (which we're told is weird for him)? Yes. I think that's absolutely a thing he could have done or planned to do. Do I think he slit his wrists and commited suicide so he wouldn't go back to Derry? No. Not even remotely.

Let me paint a New Picture.

It's May 28th, 2016, or 1985. Stanley Uris gets a call from Mike Hanlon. Stan is incredibly hesitant to go to, and says he needs time to think about it. Or tht he'll try. He can feel the starts of a Panic attack, and as he's remembering the circles of Hell he went through as a child, he tries to hold himself together. He doesn't want his darling wife to see his break, so he says "I think I'll take a bath" and nothing else before going upstairs. he hides in the bathroom. He closes and locks the door, because, well, he's panicking. Locking doors is one of The Small things he does. Is it usually the bathroom door? no, but still (OCD is a bitch, and even with medication, but this is a special case). He looks in the mirror and tries to breathe. This is fine. He can do this. They killed IT once before and they can do it again. He thinks about his younger self, the promises made, and how he could explain all of this Patty in time to catch a flight to Maine. It's terrifying, but if his friends are going to bite the dust, he wants to be there with them, wedding vows be Damned. Then he looks at his reflection again. A younger, rotted version of himself stares back at him. IT crawls through the mirror. Stan freaks out, obviously. This isn't real. This Can't be real. But IT utilizes this notion against him. It digs it's claws into his arms, and forces him to bleed out in the bathtub. IT then sets the scene nicely. Razorblades on the counter, a bloody signature on the wall, a horrible posture of Stan's neck. So on and So forth. and then IT returns to Derry. IT's a little weak, yeah, but Stan is dead. That's what matters. the Lucky Seven has now Officially broken, and the balance shifts in favour of the clown.

So that's the theory. feel free to correct me on anything or engage I have plenty of theories on this story and I like discussing this stuff :).