#yes i've been writing this during the event do not judge me

[wallofchynax]

SPOILED ROTTEN

Synopsis: Two things can be true at once. You can be a rising NXT Diva AND Shawn Michaels' sugar baby that he loves to spoil. It's time to show your appreciation for your many gifts.

content warnings: sugar daddy relationship, age gap relationship (shawn michaels is 59 and the reader is in her 20s), minor dom/sub vibes, blowjobs, female reader, PiV sex. no beta reading, we die like men.

got a request? send it over to me <3

The faint hum of the hotel room’s air conditioning fills the space, a stark contrast to the warmth of Shawn’s body as he leans back against the plush headboard. The lights are dim, casting a golden hue over the luxurious suite, soft sheets tangled between your legs, the faint scent of cologne and crisp linen mingling in the air. You shift, the silk of the robe he bought you slipping off one shoulder, exposing the smooth curve of your skin. 

This was part of the game. Shawn liked to watch you. Half amusement, half admiration, as his fingers reach to play with the feather like hem of the robe. It was a nice quality. You never asked how much things cost these days. Expensive. Shawn never spared expenses. Anything he bought you was in the more expensive bracket and honestly, you loved being spoiled.  

And it just so happened that Shawn loved spoiling you. So, what was the problem? 

“You know,” His voice was thick with desire, as it often was when he saw you try on clothing he had paid for, “I think I’ve outdone myself this time,” 

You knew what he meant. The shopping bags sat in the corner filled with luxury pieces.  Delicate lace lingerie, sky-high designer heels, diamonds, dresses, make up. Anything you asked for, he was more than happy to provide you with it. 

His fingertips trace your thigh, feeling the silky smoothness of your skin, the toned muscle beneath. You shiver at the featherlight touch, your breath hitching as he spreads his legs wider, pulling you into the space between them. His hands, large and rough from years in the ring, slide up, teasing over the swell of your hips, the dip of your waist, the plushness of your ass. He hums appreciatively, squeezing just enough to make you arch into him. 

“You know how much I love your legs, sweetheart,” He mused, fingers dragging down the inside of your thigh which sent a delicious shiver up your spine, “Watching you move in that ring, all that strength...that flexibility...” His palms sliding up your curves with them brushing against the side of your breasts through the thin fabric brushing the pad of his thumb against your pretty nipples. He leans in, “These...” kissing below just below your jaw, “These are mine,” 

Heat pooled below. Desire pulsed through your veins. You tilt your head to give him more room as his lips trail down, leaving slow, lingering kisses over your collarbone. His stubble grazing your skin, adding a friction, making you gasp.  

He chuckled lowly, a sound that vibrated against your neck, “Hm. You like that don’t you,” 

His hand moves lower, slipping beneath the robe, palm flattening against your bare stomach. "My girl, so spoiled… so soft." 

You whimper as he pulls you closer, your thighs straddling his as he tugs the robe open completely, exposing you to his hungry gaze. His pupils darken, the heat in his eyes making your skin prickle with anticipation. 

"You look like something out of a dream, baby," he murmurs, hands roaming, worshiping. His mouth finds the swell of your breast, kissing, teasing, savouring. His beard tickles as he works his way lower, tongue tracing along your navel before his lips find your thigh, biting down just enough to make you gasp. His fingers tighten around your waist. You let out a soft whine, but before you can catch your breath, Shawn is gripping your chin, tilting your face up to meet his gaze. His thumb brushes over your beautiful full lips, his eyes dark with something sinful. 

"You know, sweetheart…" His voice is all low gravel and heat. "I did spoil you tonight. You think maybe I deserve a little appreciation for that?" 

You nod instinctively, licking your lips, already knowing where this is going. 

He chuckles, “Yeah, then come here baby. Show me how grateful you are,” 

Just as he spoke, he was undoing his pant buttons and pulling them down with your help as you were eager to show your appreciation for all the gifts you have been given today. You crawled between his legs, looking up at him through your lashes (extensions that he had paid for, no doubt) with your hands resting on his strong thighs. He’s thick, stiff and absolutely aching for you. 

Shawn watched you with hooded eyes, reaching forward trace his fingers through your hair. 

“That’s my girl,” he said, “Take it nice and slow...” 

You gripped the base of his cock, stroking him slightly. You leaned forward, dragging your tongue up the length of his cock. He let out a breathy groan, hips flexing as he watched you. 

“Fuck...” he hissed, voice tight as his jaw flexed, “You love tasting my cock, don’t you?” 

You hum around the tip, wrapping your lips around him, sucking lightly. His fingers tangle into your hair, gripping just enough to make you feel controlled but not forced. He lets you take your time, enjoying the way your tongue swirls around the sensitive head, the way you press wet, open-mouthed kisses down the thick vein running along his shaft. 

"Such a perfect fucking mouth," he groans, his grip tightening slightly as you hollow your cheeks, taking him in deeper. "Always so eager to please me, huh?" 

You never took your eyes off him. His abs tensing, his muscles taut as he kept his eyes on you too. You moaned around his cock, the vibrations making his thighs flex underneath you. You take him much deeper, pushing until the head of his cock is threatening to push into your throat, the deep guttural fuck that spills from his mouth. He tilts his head back, gripping your hair as he guides your movements. 

“That’s it, baby. Just like that. Take it all,” 

You let him control the pace as he started to fuck your mouth with slow, deliberate thrusts. His breath got heavier, his hips lifting with each movement. 

“You were made for this...” he groaned, his voice ragged. His free hand comes, cupping your cheek, his thumb brushing against your skin as he watches himself disappear between your lips. "Look at you, taking me so fucking well." 

Tears sting your eyes as he nudges deeper, but you don’t stop, your throat relaxing as you let him have what he wants. You moan around him again, and his grip tightens, his breath hitching. 

"Shit, baby, I’m gonna come," he growls, his abs tightening, his hips jerking slightly. "You gonna swallow for me, huh? Gonna be a good girl and swallow it all?" 

All you could do was moan in response.  

Shawn’s body tensed as his cock twitches on your tongue. Next, his realise spills down your throat in hot spurts and you do your best to swallow every single drop, not pulling away until you’ve done as he asked and swallowed it all. His grip loosens, his thumb brushing against your cheek again as he exhales sharply, looking down at you with something between admiration and possessiveness. 

“That’s my baby girl...” He said, tilting his head, looking at your face. Your make-up was well and truly ruined, lipstick smudged between your face and his cock, “Look at you. You’re such a mess, baby,” He cooed. 

His hands roam, rough and greedy, claiming every inch of your body. He cups your breasts, squeezing just enough to make you gasp, thumbs brushing over your nipples, teasing them into stiff peaks. His breath is hot against your throat, lips tracing the line of your jaw as he murmurs, “You love this, don’t you, baby? Love the way I take care of you.” 

With a swift movement, he flipped you onto your back, spreading your legs apart as he settles himself between them. His hands grip your thighs as he quickly pulls the lacy underwear off you before his eyes got to take in the sight of you; wet, swollen and glistening. 

“Goddamn...” His breath caught, “Look at you. You’re shaking baby...” 

You are shaking. Your body strung up so tight. He had barely touched you but giving him a blowjob always made her extra horny. You were always amazed at how eager Shawn was at his age. Already, you looked at Shawn and his cock, thick and flushed, the tip slick with precum. He strokes himself slowly, watching you with dark, hungry eyes. 

“You want this,” his voice teased but his jaw was tensed. 

He wants this just as badly as you do. 

You whimpered and all you could do was stretch your legs more, wider in anticipation. His cock twitched, and with a groan, he then lined himself up with you, his head pressing against your entrance teasing you and making you squirm. 

And then, he pushed in. Your body stretched around him, hot and slick as the tightness throught a guttural moan deep from Shawn’s core.  He gripped your hips, holding you down and stopping your from moving as he pushed deeper in by inch until he’s fully seated inside of you. 

“You feel so fucking tight,” 

Shawn doesn’t give you much time to adjudge as he pulled back only to thrust into your again, slow and deep, making you gasp each time. His pace builds, every stroke hitting deep, his cock dragging against that spongy spot that drives you insane. Shawn is so much bigger than you; his body covering yours entirely as he fucks into you. The bed creaking beneath you as your moans mixed in with the slap of skin filling the room. 

But his control was slipping. You could feel it. His thrusts were less even, more desperate as he gripped your thighs and pushed them up, testing your flexibility by bending you in half so he could fuck you deeper. 

You were equally unravelling. Pleasure coiled tight in your belly, and he knows it. He can feel the way your thighs tightened around him, and the way your moans turned into desperate whimpers. 

“Come for me,” he growled, his hand slipped between you as his thumb rubbed your clit in tight circles, “Come on, sweetheart. Come for me. Let me feel you squeeze my cock,” 

And then you felt his teeth on your shoulder, and it was all over for you. 

Wave after wave of hot pleasure washed over you as your body trembled below him. You cried out his name, legs tightening around his waist as you pulse around his cock, milking him. The sensation pushes him over the edge, his thrusts turning erratic before he buries himself deep and groans, spilling inside you, filling you with his release. 

For a moment, neither of you move, just panting, bodies slick with sweat, tangled together in the sheets. Then, Shawn lets out a breathless chuckle, pressing a slow, lingering kiss to your lips. 

“You spoil me, baby,” you murmur, still breathless. 

Shawn smirks, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “That’s my job, baby.” 

[swanimagines]

GRISHAVERSE WEEK STARTS TOMORROW

Ok the GV special week starts tomorrow at this time, and I just want to put out a reminder because this has been a repeated question I have gotten during these past weeks:

Everything published within the next 7 days was written in January. This event is not running off requests I get during this. Requests I receive now are treated as they usually are, meaning I will make initial notes of their plot to my wip folder, draft them and finally add them to my to-do list after I come back from London.

More below because this got long and I know some of you may want to know why.

This is just nice little something because I want to celebrate meeting the cast one last time. So again, if you request, it will NOT be published this upcoming week. The decision to not take requests that are specifically for this event was partly because I just knew people would spam me mainly with Kaz and Jesper and then not understand when I'd try to explain that every character only gets one fic, first come first serve, and I'd risk being thrust in yet another drama after being free of drama for so long.

+ I also ditched the idea of taking requests for it because I literally got this idea during Christmas week and I didn't have time to arrange anything like that at that point anymore + I will be unable to write any fics from this upcoming Wednesday (5th of March) to next week's Tuesday (11th of March) because my laptop is literally about 2000km away from me during that time, so that's why the simplest way was just pick some old requests from my drafts and fill them instead. Again, everything that will publish has been written and is queued since January, I finished writing the last piece coming up on 19th of January.

Also another reminder that neither David nor Alina will get anything despite Jessie and Luke attending the con, because I have never received requests for David and the only request for Alina I have was too large to be filled in time for next week. YES, I know I said one character per date, but I'm not able to magically summon requests for those when there is none. But I'm sorry if you were excited for pieces for either of those.

Again, I do not take requests for this and even if I wanted to, I wouldn't have time to fulfill them anymore as I only have 2 full days to go before I'm offline for a week. I know I'm repeating this over and over again, but I just really don't want to come back home to see dozens of "please do a fic like this for tomorrow!" followed by "I sent so many requests for this week but none got chosen, I'm so sad 😭" and I want to do my everything so people would know what's the deal.

There are lots of people in my followers (judging by the amount of asks and messages I get about it) who still think that if you send in a request, it will be the next in line and there's no one before your request and that's... not the case. I've gotten a lot of requests that are like "I'm sick right now and I'd like to read about character taking care of me" and when I tell them that I can't write it that fast, I get a "but everyone else I read from write my requests within a few hours from me requesting, how come you don't, you post so little so it means you get no requests anyway so you'd be free to write mine?" and even if other blogs you read from are like that, my blog is not because I can't keep up such a pace, my motivation/inspiration to write doesn't come up by snapping my fingers.

I need to have the right headspace and mood for writing, which sometimes lasts for weeks in a row and I'm able to write every single day with only minor issues, but sometimes it takes me several weeks or even months to get into that, me sitting here with just a sentence or two written and wanting to bang my head into the keyboard because I can't think of ANYTHING, or I know what to write but I can't make up how to write it. So I don't want to force myself to write to avoid this starting to feel like an obligation rather than fun, and to do that, I need to do this at my own pace and the best way is to post slowly, let the queue build up, have some backup for times when I absolutely can't get myself to write.

So me usually posting only once a week (for now) doesn't mean I don't have requests to post, I post slowly to maintain some schedule because otherwise it could be 5 fics in a week and right after that there would be 3 months of total silence. I do hope that I get to pick the pace up, but I will never again post daily permanently, it's way too stressful to keep up on a long run. But my goal is posting twice or thrice a week if I'm ever ready for that, and I hope I will be.

I hope that one day people would get that, it's tiring to explain over and over again why the request I published now wasn't your request and that I didn't skip over you and that there are still requests before you and why I can't skip everyone else just for you and this all reads all over my blog...

So yeah, just want to explain and make a wish that please don't send GV requests if you think I'll be publishing them during this week. They will go at the end of the line, just like everyone else's fics do.

[deathbyoctopi]

Rarepair April! Yaaay!!! >w<

So! For the past couple weeks I've been working a lot with Gotcha for Gaza and another event, writing some oneshots for prompts, and the wonderful rare ships I was asked about are just so cute!!

So, for those already lost on just what I have and haven't written (me included), here's the recent Rarepair Festival >w<

🚢Wen Chao / Wen Zhuliu🚢

Shouting was heard from the ancestral hall of Lotus Pier. Which wasn’t too strange on the warmest summer days, when the youngest disciples took refuge in the cool shade and played games (making them grow quite rowdy), ensuing the even louder screams from the closest responsible adult that came to yell at them young irreverent ruffians.

Ah, but it wasn’t summer anymore, and the shouting now was far from joyful. Also, all the disciples were dead.  

From: A helping hand, a nsfw nasty little dub-con because if Wen-er-gongzi discovers he likes being spanked, can his faithful bodyguard actually refuse? (he should and he almost does! XD)

🚢Nie Huaisang/Lan Wangji🚢

Lan Xichen eyes nervously the other members of the meeting. Judging by the little monitors on his screen, no one else seems to be noticing that Wangji is having some sort of inappropriate fun right now, thank God. Although he can’t understand why, since it’s so obvious…

But well, Lan Xichen has been long aware that, for some reason, he seems to be the only person able to read Wangji’s solemn expression, which Jin Guangyao has called on some occasion “the most perfect poker face” he’s ever seen.

From: Just another corporate secret, a naughty Lan Wangji / Nie Huaisang from the pov of Lan Xichen, that gets in an online meeting and realizes what's going on under his brother's table.

🚢Jin Guangyao / Nie Huaisang🚢

“Tell me, a-Yao…”

The tinkle of golden wrist bells rang soft and delicate, glittering against the dark golden silks of the bed. The light was low and the perfumed incense thick, and there was a heavy suggestion of alcohol in the room.

Enough to make Nie Huaisang’s voice pass for something even more light and feminine.

“…have you been a good boy?”

“Yes, a-niang.”

From: Tell it to your mumsy, a nsfw HuaiYao where a drunk Jin Guangyao misses his mum very, very much (and Nie Huaisang takes advantage of that to learn all his little secrets >w<)

🚢Jin Guangyao / Wen Ruohan🚢

“Show me what do you do to them. The prisoners.” Wen Ruohan sat calmly on a wooden chair, which the local guard had very wisely left free the second he saw those two turning the corner of the corridor.

Meng Yao’s voice didn’t betray his thoughts, but even so the sightliest hesitation dripped through. He looked at the prison guards, still lounging by the nearest cell.

“As your Excellency wishes, but… Here?”

“Here.”

“Wouldn’t it be more suitable to... perform such acts in the comfort of your Excellency's bed?”

“Here, a-Yao.”

From: Keep an ace up your sleeve (it will come handy) a very nsfw insight at some special methods Meng Yao came up with to torture prisoners during his internship with the Wen...

Lastly, not a ship but a very special pair I hold very dear to my heart...

🍃Xiao Xignchen & Cangse Sanren🍃

Cangse Sanren put her arm around Xiao Xingchen’s shoulder and her voice took a conspiratorial tone.

“You too, you must get yourself a good and reliable cultivation partner, do you hear? Like that young man you fought with. What's his name? Song Something."

"Zichen."

"Whatever. If you like him, tie the knot as fast as possible. Life is so short, and so precious!”

Xiao Xingchen could have blushed, if it wasn’t because he had lost quite a lot of blood and was feeling a bit light-headed.

“Shijie, please, don’t tease…” he said hiding a smile.

From: Relentless in love (and dodging nettles), where Xiao Xingchen comes across a mischievous spirit and realizes she is non other than his legendary martial sister...

There! Now I'm up to date with the weird shit I've written lately XD

[rose-of-pollux]

Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @knickynoo, thanks!

(Tagging @belphegor1982, @threephantomrey, and @radarsteddybear and anyone else who wants to do this!)

How many works do you have on AO3? Including the selection of ancient fics I just brought over from a dying FFN, 527.

What's your total AO3 word count? 1,836,538 words

What fandoms do you write for? Currently, my main fandoms are 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., and Back to the Future, with some Haunted Mansion, Hogan's Heroes, Hades, Pokémon, Super Mario, and Legend of Zelda thrown in. And I've dabbled in other fandoms, as well.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

“Heroic Resolve” (Man from U.N.C.L.E., light slash)

“A Devil Put Aside for Me” (Super Smash Bros, gen)

“If Wishes Were Cats” (MFU, light slash)

“Desperate Times” (MFU, light slash)

"Some Things are That Simple" (Super Smash Bros, gen)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to, but between real life and my ADHD, I don't often get to them as quickly as I'd like to. Also FFN has completely stopped sending notifications in the last several months, so I genuinely have no clue if anyone has left a comment there. :/

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? ...I haven't written it yet, but one of my future 13 Ghosts fics is going to be an angsty semi-resolved resolution that carries over to the next fic. Currently, however, the angstiest ending is probably “All Dead, All Dead” (Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild/Super Smash Bros)–it’s about BOTW Link realizing that the events of World of Light in Smash Ultimate makes this the second time that he failed to prevent a disaster, that he’s lost more this time than last time during the Calamity, and is now carrying even more survivor’s guilt as a result.  I normally don’t write such angsty fics with no resolution, but as this is World of Light, and everyone’s restoration is a foregone conclusion if you’ve played the game, I felt it was fine as is.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of my fics have happy endings, but the happiest is probably "O, Brave New World" (13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo)--just that ending scene of everyone hugging in the rain after Daphne casts her first successful spell during her magic training... Yeah.

Do you get hate on fics? Not really, but I do get people who either complain that the fic makes no sense after admitting they jumped in the middle of a multichapter fic without any context, or I get someone who does not understand dramatic irony and wonders why Marty is acting the way he is when he's extremely stressed and not thinking things through as a result.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Love them! Craziest one is probably the MFU/Haunted Mansion crossover I did earlier this year ("The Grim Grinning Ghosts Affair"), but the BTTF/Hogan's Heroes one I'm planning is going to be right up there.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes, one of my Super Mario fics was stolen along with other writers' on FFN back in 2020; thankfully a friend of mine in the fandom AND a kind stranger both alerted me to it, and I and the other victims reported the thief and got the stolen fics removed.

Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but I have had one transcribed as a Podfic by someone else–“You Can’t Judge a Book” (Hogan’s Heroes, Gen).

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, once, on LiveJournal a long time ago; it was a Hogan’s Heroes fic with an otherworldly spin; I’m not entirely sure if it still exists.

What's your all-time favorite ship? Napoleon Solo/Illya Kuryakin!

What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Most of all, the Monkeesfic I left hanging, because it was the literal final installment of the arc I was writing.

What are your writing strengths? Characterizations, or so I’ve been told–I can jump from fandom to fandom, and have everyone remain perfectly in-character. Also, dialogues. My writing has always been dialogue-driven.

What are your writing weaknesses? Descriptions. As improved as I am when compared to 2008 when I started posting stories online (and you can tell by looking at some of those that I brought over from FFN to AO3), I yearn for the ability to pull off the whole “Show, don’t Tell” as good as certain people I could mention (Vincent Price and Paul Frees, mainly).

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? It can be tricky depending on the language, but rewarding if it all works out.  In Hogan’s Heroes, LeBeau switching between French and English happens nearly once per episode, so I endeavor to do that (with plenty of help from Bel, I will admit). For Illya speaking Russian or Ukrainian in MFU, I throw it into Google Translate and pray it comes out coherent.  His dialogues are the most challenging by far since I’m on my own. For Flim-Flam speaking Nepali in 13 Ghosts, I have a much easier time since Nepali is similar enough to Hindi (which I am decently fluent in).

First fandom you wrote for? Pokémon, way back in 1999 (though those fics will never see the light of the internet, ever).

Favorite fic you've ever written? Going to do this for my main three fandoms–

Man from U.N.C.L.E. -- the aforementioned Haunted Mansion crossover, "The Grim Grinning Ghosts Affair" (mostly gen, but established Napollya bickering and canonical Hatbox Ghost/Beating Heart Bride going on in the background); The Ghost Host and Madame Leota draw Napoleon and Illya to the Mansion under admittedly false pretenses in the hopes that the mortal duo can help the Hatbox Ghost wrangle the mad spirit of Constance Hatchaway.

13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo -- "Class Reunion" (gen); Vincent brings the gang to his school reunion, and as Daphne, who's been learning magic from Vincent, is determined to prove herself to the assembled witches and warlocks, there is trouble brewing as a nefarious plot involving the Forbidden Arts underway.

Back to the Future– “‘Cause I Might Not Make It Back” (Gen).  Marty is pursued by a renegade scientist to be used as leverage against Doc, resulting in him getting stranded in 1932, stricken with amnesia.  As 1986 Doc searches for Marty, the ripple effect fails to kick in as his 1932 counterpart finds him, and is tasked with trying to figure out how to get Marty’s memory back, as well as keep him out of the clutches of his renegade pursuer.

[frozen-fountain]

In addition.

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

Yes and no for different aspects of the craft. I'm unabashedly self-indulgent when I write, at least in terms of subject matter, theme, and the actual events of the story. I think we produce our best and most vital work when it's something close to the heart that gets us excited, so I'm building around those moments rather than cutting them. I've often found myself absolutely entranced by stories that feature one or more of my usual nopes, but in which you can tell the writer was having the time of their life and/or creating something they're deeply passionate about. That's infectious, and important.

Where I do kill my darlings without hesitation is phrasing and flow. I love me some ornate prose and Scrabble words but it needs to enhance and not obfuscate a story, so even if I'm in love with a shiny bit of wording I just came up with, if it doesn't fit with the inner world of the character in question or match the tone of the scene, it has to go.

I have a document that's more of a darling scrapheap or cryo chamber than a graveyard. If I have a choice but ill-fitting phrase, it goes there, to hopefully be repurposed into something more cohesive. The good part of doing a series is that I can also cut lengthier passages that I like but don't quite fit and save them for future stories, maybe even basing a whole fic around them.

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

I love the way these questions are phrased and framed. Anyway, my wishes are the ability to focus more consistently, a device that mutes all outside noise (save for sounds that signal incoming danger), and a stronger sense for how I'm doing in terms of keeping some things subtextual without being too vague or too scattershot. Not holding a reader's hand the whole way, but also giving them an adequate map to get there. I find it really hard to judge when I know most of the answers.

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

The most viscerally upset I've ever been during the process was when recounting incidences of a gay man who, due to his high position in the world demanding otherwise, attempted a few times to "correct" himself by sleeping with women. And I haven't even written this story yet. I was only making notes for the future and I still had to walk that one off. I'm still not entirely sure why it got to me quite as much as it did. That's not been part of my journey (when I leaned into my own queerness, it was actually something of a relief to finally be Weird in an identifiable way for once). So I think what I struggle with the most on an emotional level is repression, denial, and a character forcing themselves into a box that's all wrong. I think I write this well, but it takes it out of me in a big way.

On a more technical level, it's a common answer, but action is hard! You want to keep the pace quick but also describe movements and changing surroundings well enough that the reader isn't lost (unless you want them to be), while also communicating something about the characters through the way they move and react. It's a lot for my brain to hold all at once, and the fact that I'm such a klutz and can't imagine being so at home in my own body does not help.

As for what's easy... friendship, I suppose. I think I do a good job of creating layered, thoughtful dynamics between people and highlighting fresh aspects of everyone's characterisation through these interactions, spotting parallels that enhance the theme of the story in some way. When I really know my characters the banter between them tends to write itself, especially in big group downtime scenes, which I love doing. Crafting these little oases they, and the reader, get to stop in for a short time amidst all the trauma.

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

I hope people aren't afraid to borrow books from me. I'd rather they were being enjoyed by someone than gathering dust on a shelf, which is what's most likely to happen even if I do enjoy revisiting favourites. There's a few that are, as far as I know, still with people who are no longer part of my life, and I'm happy for them to be a little reminder of a relationship that used to be.

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

I do read in the bath sometimes. It's a terrible decision considering how clumsy I am. But I don't purposefully bend pages and I don't usually write in books, either - unless I'm rereading something and really deep diving into the framework of it, I prefer to let the story wash over me and break it up as little as possible. I do make notes on paper at the end of a chapter, though, otherwise I'm liable to forget too much and miss connections. Similarly, I keep a notes document open when I'm reading fanfic, so I give back as much to the author as possible.

As long as you're not defacing library property or borrowed books, I'm not judging and we can still be friends.

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

Flattened paracetamol box.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

I've been mulling over this one because, if the premise interests them, I'd rather people read my fics and had the chance to work this out for themselves. And if my ideas aren't appealing then I doubt this answer will be, either. I'd especially prefer not to say what doesn't make it onto the page, because that's a reader's realm. That's where they get to be part of the process, without me dictating it to them.

In terms of my biggest ongoing WIP, which is my FFVII series... what I will say is that I hope the rose tinting on the pages doesn't obscure the fact that a lot has been left off them. It's a story of political and cultural revolution told from the viewpoint of people who are incredibly personally invested in the success of their vision, and there are many things they choose not to dwell on. It's the track Storm by Godspeed You! Black Emperor, and we're still in the first ten minutes of it. We've had the slow and hesitant awakening that builds and builds into something beautiful, and now we're in the grandeur and crescendo of a world reborn for the better - but 12:10 is going to hit eventually, and so is the emptiness that comes after it.

And for the handful of people who've been reading along, do they know? Have I made it clear that they're watching characters plant the seeds for their own downfall as well as their rooftop gardens? Does anyone believe I really think it would be that easy to change the world? This is where my last wish in question question twelve would come in handy.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

[Elena] pushed the teapot away and ran to her wardrobe. “Why in the planet's name do I still have this?” Her Turk uniform had been tailored three years prior, before she put inches on her height and muscle on her limbs. She'd never fit into it again. Grabbing her pants from the top shelf, she roared as she pulled the legs apart. No rip, no give, defeated by the finest tactical tailoring Shinra had to offer.

The jacket, too, came with her into the living room. Elena fell on her knees before the fire and hurled them both into the flames – only to dampen them. Cold and dark closed in around her and she laughed. Of course the material was fire resistant, too. Everyone and their mother had materia. She laughed, high-pitched giggles spilling from her lips as fast as the ants.

“You were a fucking idiot.”

In my initial notes for the story, this scene was more or less played straight. Elena, after five chapters of character development in a world where everything she was ever taught to value vanished practically overnight, symbolically burns a Turk uniform that doesn't fit her anymore, in any sense. Then I thought it'd be really funny if she flubbed her own symbolism spectacularly because it wouldn't light, and then I thought about the premise more seriously and realised it was a great way to demonstrate how much she's changed. She's able to laugh at her own mistake instead of finding the nearest punchable object to take her shame and frustration out on - and that's a long way for her, for the world that's shaping her, and for me writing it, to have come.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I've been making up stories for longer than I can remember. I don't know where the urge came from, but it started early and never left; I'd put it down in large part to growing up lonely and out in the country, and having to make my own fun most of the time. I think I was around nine or ten when I started thinking about pursuing a career in creative writing - animation at first, then directing, then novels. It's not an avenue I still intend to go down, but it is what prompted me to start taking the craft seriously.

There were bumps indeed. I grew up in a way that made me think I had no worth outside of the artistic work I could produce. I was less a person and more an empty trophy cabinet, waiting to be filled with evidence of achievements others could live vicariously through. This was something I had to unlearn, in part by taking whole years out of writing, and didn't understand until well after the fact. But the urge to tell stories never left me alone and I always end up coming back, especially now I've rediscovered the joy of self-expression and have actual life experience to draw on. I can't tell you where I'm going, but I'll describe every step of the journey to you in great detail.

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

The idea of only one compared to which all others are not true is so absolutely antithetical to what I believe about love that this isn't a choice at all.

Weird Questions for Writers

…All.

Alright, everyone else go home, I guess. I'll be doing this in stages over the next couple of days because, as much as I enjoy talking about myself, I do still have to write this afternoon. Thank you!

What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

Basic Times New Roman, more out of familiarity than anything. I keep meaning to try the Comic Sans trick that supposedly makes it easier to focus, but I don't know if I can bear to look at that all day.

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

I don't relish the thought of those wrist cramps, but yes, I think I would. I can't stand the thought of just keeping it all in my own head.

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

I usually end up doing it early afternoon, after lunch and a few minutes of pacing or stretching to clear my head. I'll also play with my cat for a while beforehand, as if he's tired from being a fearsome hunter he's less likely to get up on the clackboard to help me (results may vary). Then I procure something to drink, pick out something to listen to, and freewrite some word association for a bit if I'm not in the right headspace.

While I have a vague goal in mind for where I'd like to write up to, these days, I only make myself do a single sentence per day. It's usually much more than that, but just that sentence absolutely has to happen every single day if it's really all I can manage. When I'm done, I try to leave at a point I'm actively excited to get back to and have a clear picture, so it's easier to pick up the next day. Usually I jot down a few notes to help.

It's cursed because a lot of the music I enjoy probably is, and because the aforementioned notes have sometimes been things like "toilet paper" or "[character] on her Caravaggio bullshit" and I'm left just sitting there trying to work out what any of this was in reference to, or why Past Froze thought it was going to be helpful.

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

Susurrus. I try to limit it to one use per story, and maybe one per chapter if I'm feeling extra indulgent.

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

Not a superstition I actively believe, but every time I think a fic might do well it's met with silence, whereas the ones I assume are for me and an audience of three end up performing way better than expected. I don't judge success on external factors and will write what I want to say regardless, but it's a nice reminder that whatever niche oddness you're cooking up might have more of an audience than you realise.

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

It's more a fear about myself, which is that my ability or lack thereof to execute an idea doesn't matter, because what I have to say in the first place is of no interest or value whatsoever and no amount of minutely crafted phrasing can change that. (Needless to say, I would never think this of another person, no matter what they were trying to tell me.)

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

That I do it anyway. That, regardless of how it does or doesn't impact on the world outside of me, I experienced something that made me feel strongly enough to take the time to attempt to recreate it in words. And when, after minutes that feel like hours over agonising over which words to use, I find some that hit the exact resonance and well of allusion I was hoping for? It's about the most accomplished I've ever felt.

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

I'd choose the all-dialogue option because that would be a bigger challenge for me, and also because I have a great model for how to do it in The Fall by Camus. So I'd reread that and pick apart how it was done in a way that worked; I can picture the setting of the novel so clearly even though it's only described in ways that feel naturalistic for characters who are walking through it. I'm guessing this would remain a shorter piece, and I'd have a specific reason for zooming in so completely on what's being said to the exclusion of all else, and I think this would be a great medium for an unreliable narrator. The negative space around what isn't said would have to be as intrinsic a part of the story as anything that makes it onto the page. I think it'd be a really interesting experiment, some time.

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

I believe many, many people have experienced things we currently (and most certainly always will) lack the scientific method to understand and quantify. I'm about ninety percent sure I had a premonition once. I also believe what we say and do resonates, in ways that are hard to track and trace, beyond the moment where they occur. I'm not sure whether this means I believe there's a non-corporeal part of us all that lingers after the physical body reaches its planned obsolescence, and that sometimes this remnant is able to reach out and touch the living from time to time, but it's something.

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

At least a fragment of everything I've ever read or written lives under my skin. Even if I hated it or even if I can't remember anything about it besides that splinter that stood out the most. All I've lived - and not lived, especially when I might have had the chance to - is waiting over my shoulder and following me along the corridor, whether as a warning or a tormentor or a guide.

[lilys0evil0twin]

I've been thinking fr an idea (take ur time no need to be real quick♥️) , mmh did u already do Nikola Tesla , Sfw or nsfw hcs ? Have an incredible day/night and take care of urself

Okay, okaaayyyyy, I see where ya coming from~~~

Let's go ya transformers looking workaholic

SFW

He nor you know how ya ended up in this relationship, not that you're complaining, it's just... He never thought of love life much less his own

Nikola is a kind man, tho he may act a little narcissistic, but he'd sacrifice his whole research for you.....

Ok maybe not whole but some projects for sure

He'd love to give you his outmost attention but it clashes with his work/hobby (or let's call it life), tho he's more than happy to include you in his activities

He really likes it when you help, just your presence is enough, plus hugging you really helps him figure out the parts he's stuck on

Just staring at the giant board covered in multiple physical theories and math problems while holding your oh so delicate body in his arms

Nikola knows multiple languages and will use them against you, he can express his love for you in all of them, all monologues ofc

He isn't one for using nicknames, however you are allowed to use some on him, he's opened to everything really from "babygirl" to "thunderbolt", but if you want him on his knees for you call him "Sir" or your "handsome husband"

He will melt, trust me he will, the first time he heard you call him Sir Tesla, he fell on his knees and hands mumbling something under his breath in Siberian, but judging by his tomato red neck and ears you assumed it was something positive

Nikola showers you in gifts, just because, he wants to give you gifts

And not just any gifts, he'll work on those gifts with everything he got, once he gave you a robotic dove after he saw you feeding a flock of pigeons

He also gives you metallic flowers, because 1. they'll stay pretty for a lot longer than real ones, and 2. no real flower is beautiful enough to be considered a gift for you

Tho if you tell him you want a real one, he'll apologize and will take to fields covered in forest flowers for picnic

Despite being a lil shy, Tesla isn't afraid to voice his desires at all, doesn't care if anyone can or can not hear him, he'll loudly and pridefully announce he wants to love you at the given moment

Or will offer his body to you at the dinner table with your parents.....

NSFW

Well sometimes he doesn't mean it literally, he's just straightfoward when it comes to stating facts

Tesla surprisingly knows how to Dan's pretty well and if you want to he'll put on your favorite song and dance the night away with you

Nikola has a great memory, he remembers everything, every date every friend of yours, every information you or someone else shared

And once again, he will use it against you

Tesla has some problems with workaholism so when you see he's pulling more hours/days than he should just drag him to bed and massage his back, he will groan

Nikola isn't really sexual, he's more lovey-dovey, hence the hugging and stealing kisses

Despite being so energetic and confident, Tesla tends to be more composed in bed

He'll follow your every wish and command, let's call him a gentle dom

Anything you may do in bed could inspire him, once he came up with a whole ass equation... And yes he needed to write it down before it slipped his mind

Tesla has a mathematical map of your body and remembers every spot that make you whimper

The exact place, how should he press/stimulate them, possibly the precise angle and force

Despite not being really erotic, Nikola has some interesting kinks

Yes

Fucking in the bed is taboo, however in his research lab? On the table? In his chair? Excusing yourselves from the event for a quicky in the hallway?

Being totally bare during sex is overated, but fully clothed? Exposing just the crucial parts?

Yes

Dry humping? Fingering? Eating out?? Bros a whole package

X-Ray👀

Nikola doesn't have a favorite position nor speed, but he mostly settles on slower sensual pace and he likes to stand but don't worry you don't have to he'll hold you up

Usually goes for multiple rounds when there's enough free time or if he's not tired from work

Long, long and thick

Perfectly waxed, there's not a single hair down there, only hair closest to his "lil" man is that line of light brown hair down his belly

The skin is as smooth as it can get

The tip is #F1B6AC

I like to think Tesla has circumcision🤔

Has a beauty mark near the base

Somewhere near his balls there's this small ring of muscle that creates a bulge there, like there a literal ring

The veins are big and bulging

Balls are average sized, smooth and solf on touch

[iseulsoda]

I love this place because of how openly catholic I can be without it surprising people, whenever I'm openly catholic in real life I get ????? YOU are PRACTICING a CHRISTIAN FAITH??? I mean to each their own... you just DON'T LOOK like a Christian... Why, Theresa? Because I'm not constantly bringing it up and shoving it down my friends throats? Because I don't dress like a nun?

I even got asked by a friend "are you sure you are a Christian?" like yes shawty are you sure you're your mother's daughter??

I ain't a saint, I'm open about my sexuality, I make a lot of jokes and I'm really open minded since I grew up surrounded by children with a different faith than mine, I grew up without practicing or learning about my faith, didn't read The Bible until I was 15, I just learned how to pray from a young age and that's all I actually did, I created my own way of practicing as a kid because I felt embarrassed at the fact that I actually believed in God. Seeing my friends and family around me lose their faith was extremely discouraging too and made me hide it even more.

I don't have to face oppression because of my faith in my country, as it is a "catholic" country, but when it comes to the real day to day life it's extremely down looked. People are not ashamed of laughing ar the Christian faith, making heavy-hearted jokes about our Sacred Texts, our God, Us. And what hurts me the most is how openly they do that as a social justice behavior. Because it's woke. They don't do this with any other religion than Christianity.

There's this saying I've heard in some Latin American countries, in Spain too but I haven't heard it that much here, although believe me, it's said.

"La única iglesia que ilumina es la que arde" meaning "The only church that lights is the one that burns" as they BURN and DESTROY churches.

Chile.

""""""Feminist""""" protest in Bogotá.

""""""Feminist""""""" protest in Argentina.

Spain, Barcelona. Burned by a group of atheists inspired by the church burnings that happened during the II Republic of Spain.

Do I really need to explain why this is wrong? Do I really need to explain how no one talks about this while if it was literally any other kind of temple the internet would go crazy over it? (As they should because it's still incredibly wrong)

When Jesus was the one that approached the sick, the prostitutes, tax collector's, victims of racism and xenophobia. He was an outcast that had no fear of approaching outcasts and teaching us how important to respect the needed is.

It breaks my heart. So deeply you have no idea.

This is just an example, I agree with their ideas, as they were mostly protesting against the issue of ped0ph1lia in the catholic Church. But not in that one, vandalizing a random temple this way is not the way. Because it's Sacred.

Because if you felt unsafe walking back home you could ask for help and refuge in a church, or any Christian temple, and they're obligated to help you in any way possible.

I know that I'm incredibly privileged. I'm white, European and Christian. It's just that it breaks my heart that I'm not able to openly talk about my faith without people assuming that I'm homophobic (when I'm literally bisexual), close minded, self-absorbed, judging.

I get it, yeah, that those have been predominant characteristics through major events in history (and I mean major events because I don't care what you say you have no idea of how normal day to day people lived their faith and what they believed in, you just know about the powerful, the witch trials, the crusades, about what BIG and POWERFUL (CORRUPTED) people did, because THEY write history)

But that's not an excuse. I'm sorry but since when does a group of people represent a faith and not the faith teachings themselves? Sounds like a fallacy to me.

Just. Respect. Learn to enjoy and embrace every faith even if you don't agree with it.

It's PEOPLE you guys are dealing with, for the love of God. People. Literally just like you and me.

Even the powerful ones seem shorter in person than in TV. Power is a construction and a lie and I hate how our world is based on it like if I didn't literally have the same organs as any power figure. But they control countries and I can't make ends meet and eat pasta since the 20th of each month.

But that's a ranting for another post. Oh boy do I have stuff to rant about.

So yeah, just that. Be nice, don't judge by appearance, respect people. It's not so fucking hard.

[galadhremmin]

your ability to stomach trump quotations so you can have fun with them is impressive but there are a lot of us who had a traumatic 4 years directly because of his rhetoric, and just want to move on now, so maybe that’s why trump generally isn’t associated with fandom fun

you're not required to find everything I post funny of course. that's to be expected! I'm mainly entertaining myself here. I do think the fandom is missing out by not applying reduce reuse recycle (as Dark Lord quotes) to a certain former usa president. Shit, at least, can be used to grow flowers.

Sort of relatedly-- judging by someone else's 'this is the first time i've been repulsed by sauron' reply as well, it's much easier to empathise with (and often uwufy lbh) a character like Sauron if one doesn't quite connect his repulsive qualities and actions with currently living deeply awful people.

Maybe due to the fairytale elements it becomes, I suppose, too emotionally abstract to be truly repulsive? He is supposed to be terrifying and repulsive though. His domain is torment etc. He's arrogant to the point of stupidity. He's a fictional tyrant who enjoys complete control over others, inflicts pain, pollutes the environment, enslaves people.

Personally I dunno. Though it was obviously a joke it does sort of fit into the way I prefer engaging with Tolkien, which might just not always be yours. I make very stupid jokes. I also think finding ways to make his fiction less emotionally abstract to me and giving some thought to what he wrote about the corrupting power of power etc. + thinking about how I (dis)agree are worth doing.

Tolkien gains meaning both by looking at his own ideological influences and thinking about the real life events and people who inspired his writing + linking to current irl things that have more direct emotional impact. I'm more interested in that than, say, sexy sauron content myself.

One of my dream AU fics is an entirely historically accurate one in which Sauron rises again during the industrial revolution as a pro-child labour owner of multiple factories who expands his grasp over global politics through investments while he unsuccesfully tries to regain some of his former supernatural power through the local deeply disapppointing Occultist scene (making fun of Aleister Crowley while at the same time making Sauron a capitalist who, of course, supports the monarchy, at least in name... 😌). I would love to make Tolkien's local embodiment of evil fight unions/socialists/anarchists/etc. with conservative support and generally make the man spin in his grave in a deeply informed way. The few surviving Elves are connected to the Arts and Crafts movement and-- ok shutting up now but you get my point I think. This is very niche and a very specific way of engaging with the material that would probably only appeal to me. Also it would take so much effort to write oh my god.

But yes my posts sometimes aren't going to appeal to you because they're made for someone else entirely (me).

[samrieimg]

Do you have any advice for writing paranoia in fiction? I really like your writing style and was wondering if there were any tips that you had on this specifically.

I'm a writer and also a paranoid freak at times but I find that whenever I try to write paranoia / someone being paranoid, it always feels flat. Something is lost when I try to transfer my experiences into fiction or use them as reference points for fiction, especially with this.

Also, new Sugar Lips chap was so good!

Beast. What a cute guy. ;-; And Schlatt?? Feeling something like guilt?? Peak.

Huh, good question.

I've also always wrote paranoia from a place of experience and I'd say if it wasn't for the whole Toxic Tango series I probably wouldn't have been able to hone/figure out how I was going to in later series. I sort of experimented there.

My tips below (separated by writing style/content):

Tips for paranoia in style:

Short sentences/uncomplete fragments of sentences surrounding an idea during height of paranoia

Use sound/physical feel words, paranoia often IRL manifests with how we perceive touch and sound and if you write from experience think about what your body feels like when you're paranoid to guide you

Repeated themes/fears/ideas that tie together within a scene and a chapter

Writing paranoid content

Have paranoia have a pay off. Whether it's that chapter or not, either the character's paranoia is shown to be false/not based in reality or sometimes have it be confirmed and then the consequences of what it meant they were wrong/right.

Have the narrator be wrong (works in 1st person/3rd person limited) Your narrator may say "she was following him. He could feel her stare against his back. He could hear her combat boots clipping against the pavement." In this case, no one is following the character, but the story doesn't tell you that. But I always try to inject signs of unreliable narration. "He couldn't believe she caught up to him after that busy intersection. There were so many cars. He glances behind him, but falters at the empty street. She could have ducked away for a second. She was still there... she /had/ to be. He had to hurry home."

I bundle paranoia with delusions. Knowing what Wil or a character believes that isn't true, can help to write untrue narration that has a core theme/feel to it. I also worsen the delusion over time. What can start as "People are watching me" and be a weariness to not wear headphones or a fear of being too loud, can grow to "They're staring" and then reflections of self, over-awareness there's something wrong with them and that's why people are looking and then, "They are actively recording me."

Ground paranoia in reality. Other people behaving normally or not picking up on the same fear as the character can add the isolating flavor of fear.

But I will admit not every time does paranoia work out in writing. Sometimes readers trust the narrator and the character's judgement enough where I feel as a writer I still must have some learning to do to subvert that in the future.

The scene where Wil after the traumatic event can't find the money in his drawer and flips out was written with the intent to show his paranoia has no basis, such as the light not being on, him giving up halfway, his drunken state and such strong anger without much reasoning. He's distressed and is trying to feel in control, however many readers took his perception as realistic. Understandable, but unfortunately not the desired outcome.

It's sometimes hard to create a line between readers and their empathy with a character. When a character is paranoid, you're asking the reader to judge the character's perception and challenge it.

Also yes, Shlatt, my beloved. He's awful (in Sugar Lips) but he's human. He's uncomfortable with what his actions mean, but...not easy to admit fault.

[thecreepiestcarrie]

I've been quite bewildered as to how Johnny Depp lost his appeal against the clearly-biased judgement of Judge Nicol so I went through the official Court of Appeal Judgement. And what did I find there? More examples of this bias against Johnny.

I now have an answer to my question of how did Johnny lose the appeal, with all of the knowledge that we gained during this trial taken into consideration - how could it be upheld that the Sun calling him a 'wife beater' was factually correct?

Because Nicol went the way that the money and all of his not-so-covert connections told him to.

It was Rigga Morris, girl. Completely rigged. You don't just take on Rupert Murdoch's empire and win, even if you have the truth and a wide selection of the public on your side.

Basically it's 14 pages of 'Nicol said this and it's true so nyeh' and the court of appeal just dodging the many holes in his logic/judgement. Nicol is right, Johnny is wrong and everything Scum ever did wrong has a reasonable explanation and she's definitely not a gold digger and that's all that matters. No matter what Scamber says at any point in time, she is correct. Did she just contradict herself? No, she didn't, this is actually what she meant...

Page 3, section 1: Mr Depp did extensive damage to a house which he had rented and wrote offensive graffiti about Ms Heard (shown in photographs), some in paint and some in his own blood. While it does not necessarily follow that angry and jealous behaviour of this kind would involve physical violence against Ms Heard, the Judge evidently regarded it as making her allegations more likely to be true. section 2: He does not explicitly admit acts of assault against Ms Heard, but again the Judge regarded the admissions as making it more plausible that he did in fact commit such acts

A heavy feature of this judgment is the shit-ton of assumptions that are made and then stubbornly stuck to without a clear line from the evidence to the conclusion that was reached.

Page 4, section 10: Mr Caldecott’s (Johnny's barrister) first complaint concerned the treatment of what he said were clear admissions by Ms Heard, recorded in taped conversations, that she had more than once herself been the aggressor in incidents of physical violence between her and Mr Depp. [...] he said that the admissions were important because it was Ms Heard’s evidence throughout that she never initiated any physical violence against Mr Depp (as opposed to responding to violence from him): if that was untrue it was bound to put in question the credibility of her evidence about what happened.

Page 5, section 13: The admissions apparently made in these tapes were relied on in the closing submissions on behalf of Mr Depp at the trial as one of the general matters adversely affecting Ms Heard’s credibility, and the Judge addressed the point [...]

Shit Judge Nicol says:::::

"In her evidence, Ms Heard said that she did sometimes throw pots and pans at Mr Depp but only to try and escape him and as a means of self-defence. She also said at times in Argument 2 she was being sarcastic."

"In my view no great weight is to be put on these alleged admissions by Ms Heard to aggressive violent behaviour. [...] nonetheless true, that these conversations [the taped confrontations] are quite different to evidence in court. A witness giving evidence in court does so under an oath or affirmation to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Questioning can be controlled by the judge. Questions which are unclear can be re-phrased. If a question is not answered, it can be pressed (subject to the court's control) and if still unanswered may be the proper object of comment. None of those features applied to these conversations which, in any event, according to Ms Heard had a purpose or purposes different from simply conveying truthful information. (para 175)"

You can't put weight on to the taped conversations/confessions from Scamber because they did not take place in court... Okay, sure, why not, let's pretend that's how you operate. If that was the case, how come the circumstances behind the creation of the evidence for her case isn't questioned/doesn't impact on how much weight he allocates to them? Why does he disallow the tapes to sway him? But then pays full attention to Scamber's evidence of texts to family/friends and writings in her diary? Selective hearing, but more like selective weighing.

Page 6, section 14: Mr Caldecott submitted that the reasoning in para. 175 showed a fundamentally flawed approach to fact-finding because it gave an unjustified special priority to the status of witness evidence. [...] He also said that the Judge’s approach in this regard was inconsistent, because in many other instances he placed great weight on contemporaneous materials when making a finding against Mr Depp.

It's true and I'm glad he said it, but in the next section, the court of appeal knocks this down. They are sticking to Nicol's bullshit story and they are sticking to it until the ship is completely sunk to the bottom of the ocean with Titanic.

Section 15: We do not believe that that is a correct understanding of what the Judge was saying [...] In our view it is clear that the Judge was making a more specific point about the weight to be attached to these particular statements because of the particular circumstances in which they were made.

Page 12, section 40: If the statement in Ms Heard’s witness statement that the $7m “was donated” to charity [...] is to be understood to mean literally that the full $7m had already been paid, that is clearly contradicted by the further evidence, and her statement was accordingly misleading.

But that doesn't call her credibility into question? Nicol believes Scamber when she says her taped confessions were sarcastic, but doesn't believe that Johnny was speaking in exaggerated falsities when texting a friend about his abuser - Nicol picks and chooses which tone to pay attention to in order to suit his own agenda.

-----

These are just some exerts that I thought were interesting and show the nature of the judgement. I'm not sure how much I will be posting about the UK case anymore (I do have some posts about specific issues sitting in my drafts (about the James Cordon appearance casting doubts over all of AH's admissions, about the audio tapes and why they are ridiculously important, about Johnny's MRSA), but nothing like the other deep dives I was doing), because as I've stated before, I have become convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt of Johnny's innocence and because now that this judgement has been handed down by the Court of Appeals, the whole UK case is all over red rover so it doesn't seem super relevant to keep going on about this trial that is now dead and buried. The evidence that I have gone through and posted here, I can make sense of that. But this judgement and any thing in a similar vein, there's no chance of me ever making sense of that, so shall I just quit while I'm ahead? Yes.

[heyletsbeorganised]

Organisation and Planning

Have a planner or some area where you can write your plans for the day so you can easily see when you have a class or event.

Update your planner/ calendar every day

Have weekly to do lists. I taped mine in each week of my planner so i can see all tasks and events in the one glance.

Clean your desk or work space every night or after a session, this way it’s so much easier to get started the next day.

Have a post it note near you to jot down important things you remember for you to do later that way you don’t get sidetracked. 

Get out any power cords, pens, food etc. that you need for a study sesh before you start.

Stick on your wall a list of upcoming assignments or class work due dates and tick of as you do them, or post it note them and remove when done.

Break down tasks on lists so it seems more achievable. 

Always make a plan before starting an assignment, maybe a mind map of what needs to be done and where you’ll get what info. I love doing this for essays.

Make sure you know what things you need to do before each class whether its reading or printing slides, come prepared.

Keep all notes for a subject together whether in a folder or digitally, this will help in exam season and don’t leave papers in your bag to be forgotten about.

Empty your bag everyday and put handouts or information in its appropriate place.

Studying

Pomodoro! Most people i know do the 30 mins study 5 min break but this has always been too short of time for me to accomplish something with too little of a break so i tend to do 45 or 60 minutes with a 10 minute break which is pretty much the same time it just works better for me.

ASMR! i know this sounds cringe or cliche but asmr can be super relaxing and provides that white noise that we like without listening to music which may prove distracting. I suggest the Harry potter common room ones they are beautiful.

Attitude. This is so important because if you go into studying pessimistically you will end up annoyed, go in with the mindset of getting a lot done and reaching your goals.

A pretty work space is a used work space, well at least for me. When my walls are covered with artwork and my desk is neat i feel most motivated, cleaning your desk is a small task that might inspire you to get working. 

Candles, see above. 

Watch YouTube videos on the subject you're studying, for visual and auditory learners this is especially helpful. 

Make summaries after your notes, mainly focusing on explicit points in the syllabus.

Make sure your summaries are done as you complete the course work so you are prepared for exam season.

A few weeks before exams make a list of all you want to get done before then and start working!

If you have your textbook on your device get a program that will read the text to you, save your eyes and this is normally a quicker way to digest material.

Find the study space that works for you, e.g. home, the library etc. 

As much as i love it, coffee makes you peak and come down so if you can water and good snacks can be better for sustained energy.

DO PRACTICE QUESTIONS! For some reason i thought it was okay to think about a practice question and then just look at the answer? No, this did not work, you need to actually see what you know and write a response. 

When possible work under exam conditions, it's going to be stressful to be put under those circumstances but you need to actually get used to working that way.

Set a time and write down all you know about a small topic on a page, what you miss is what you need to go over.

Most textbooks are a base resource that can help you if you don’t understand a concept but there shouldn't be too many notes to gather that you shouldn't have already gotten in class, this is obviously different for each class but for me this has been the case. Don't waste good revision time relearning what you know.

Highlighting allows us to tune out of the actual reading so avoid when possible and take notes as you go if you need to as this makes you focus more.

Flashcards are fun to make and they are proven to work, just make sure if you make question cards you don’t cheat when using them and look at the answers. 

Making your notes is pretty but time consuming, don’t feel pressured to have that aesthetic all the time, the work is more important.

Find online quizzes on the topics you are studying. Many people have done your course before and already put in the hard yards, take advantage of this.

As above there are many resources for topics online, find these before you start a new section to be extra prepared. 

Rereading notes before bed makes sure it stays in your head as your brain will be processing it overnight or some science but it does work.

When studying put your phone in another room to relieve the urge to check it all the time.

Stationery 

Have a good trusty pen. Mine is the uniball signo. We have a friendship, it’s good.

I've learned recently you don’t need 100 coloured pens and the entire fine-liner collection because i only like a few colours and often don’t have enough time to use a brush pen, markers, highlighters and pens all in the one page of notes.

Don’t feel pressured to have pretty equipment, functional equipment is 100 times more important

Small dot or grid notebooks to do summaries in or mind maps really has helped me feel motivated because they do look really pretty and gets me focused in exam times.

There is a movement towards digitising notes but i think it is still good to have a binder for handouts and articles etc.

Only take to college/school/university the essentials and save your back.

Keep a few bad ballpoints in your bag to save giving friends your nice pens and never getting them back.

Don’t buy stationery that doesn't work, yes the New York post its i got were beautiful, did they stick at all, no. This clutters your work space and steals your money.

Personal Care

Don’t feel guilty for taking breaks, realistically know your limits and think of it as refuelling.

Try to eat healthy not for weight or looking good but because your body will hate you when you are always giving it takeaway and then asking it to do 14 hour study sessions.

When struggling to focus of a morning, get up and have a shower. This will wake you up and get you feeling motivated.

Have a support person. Mine is my boyfriend and is the person i can just let out all the stress onto, have a cry and then get back to work. You just need to let it out sometimes.

A more relaxed study method is to group up with friends and test each other, create little games etc.

Make sure you still socialise and go to events during crazy stressful periods because you need an outlet and a break.

write out your goals for a term, semester, class or year and refer back to them when you get your results, this will make sure you are judging yourself by your own standards and not compared to anyone else’s.

Reach out for help or advice, whether that’s to friends or people on tumblr or your professors, if you are struggling its ok to get a hand.

[jeannereames]

Do you think there is any truth to the (I think) Lucan anecdote about Hephaistion having spent the night before Issue in Alexander's tent? I've heard some people say it not as spurious a claim as it seems, what are your thoughts?

The story comes from a little essay by Lucian of Samosata, a writer of the Second Sophistic (like Plutarch) who lived in the 2nd century CE, during the Middle Roman Empire. Lucian was known for his sarcasm, and his dismissal of superstition and pop religion. My favorite work of his is “Alexander the False Prophet.” No, not “our” Alexander; a soothsayer named Alexander who used a (fake) snake to make prophecies. It’s interesting as it shows the mechanics of ancient divination. It’s very scathing. Go give it a read; it’s not long.

Anyway, the story comes from a short work called “A Slip of the Tongue in Greeting,” which opens with Lucian relating his own slip of the tongue, which embarrassed him in front of a wealthy patron. Apparently to make himself feel better, he composed a collection of such events. What we’d call a “Freudian slip” was, in antiquity commonly viewed as an omen from the gods.

It’s hard to judge the essay’s seriousness, as Lucian didn’t really believe in things like omens. He seems to be trying to explain away his own slip by pointing out it’s hardly an uncommon error, then lists examples. His original source for this one was Eumenes, a letter written to Antipatros. We’re not told when, but perhaps shortly after the Battle of Issos. If he later became an enemy of Hephaistion, this telling isn’t overtly hostile, unless in a backhanded way (which lends credence to my insistence that they were enemies only late in Hephaistion’s life).

Eumenes of Cardia, writing to Antipater, states that just before the battle of Issus, Hephaestion came at dawn into Alexander’s tent. Either in absence of mind and confusion like mine, or else under a divine impulse, he gave the evening salutation like me, “[Health to you king; it’s time to get into battle order.]” All present were confounded at the irregularity, and Hephaestion himself was like to die of shame, when Alexander said, “I take the omen; it is a promise that we shall come back safe from battle.” (Luc. Pro Lapsu. 8, Fowler trans., but note my bracketed correction translating from the Greek.)

We should always be careful of quoted speech. Hephaistion’s use of “basileus” instead of Alexandros suggests somebody is paraphrasing. Macedonian kings didn’t use the title except, occasionally, in third person: being spoken about. There are a couple of quips short enough (and pithy enough) they might be genuine, such as Alexander’s famous “Sleep and sex remind me I’m mortal,” but assume quotes aren’t really quotes, and speeches (especially) are later compositions by the author that (we hope) at least preserve the gist of what was said. We are reading this event once removed from its original source.

That said, I see no reason to doubt the veracity of the anecdote. Lucian must be read carefully, due to his tendency to sarcasm, but he gives his source and Eumenes could well have been present. I’m a bit surprised it didn’t pop up in Plutarch’s Life, as Plutarch is super interested in Alexander’s dreams and omens, which might cast doubt on it. But making an argument from silence is dicey and Plutarch outright admits he’s not trying to be comprehensive.

So yes, I think it happened. In my dissertation, I suggested that perhaps he’d spent the night in Alexander’s tent, and so was leaving, hence the “wrong” greeting and his great embarrassment for giving away where he’d been sleeping. I don’t agree with my younger self now. Eumenes’s account says Hephaistion came into (eiselthon = eiserkomai) the tent (skene) at first light to tell Alexander it was time to draw up the battle order. I don’t see a reason for Eumenes (or Lucian) to change or lie about Hephaistion’s arrival. Maybe he was walking in from another part of the tent, but this was not the HUGE royal Persian tent Alexander had after Issos. We don’t know how big it was. Skene is generic for tent (fun fact: it’s the same word used for a theatre stage [skene: scene]). There is a separate word for a small tent used by average soldiers, but we wouldn’t expect the king’s tent to be small. Anyway, there were other people already there, presumably one of them Eumenes. So I now think it was probably just a slip of the tongue on Hephaistion’s part. Saying “Goodbye” to the king on the day of a battle wherein he might, in fact, DIE would be humiliating enough in itself.

Perhaps of more interest is how he showed up. He would not have been, then, a top officer with instant access to the king. Yet here he comes, strolling right on in like he owns the place. It’s hard to guess who “all present” would have entailed. Some may have been officers, but a king was typically attended by servants, including the Royal Pages, plus the Somatophylakes on rotation that morning. I don’t believe Hephaistion a Somatophylax at that point.

I’ve come to see this odd little event more as proof that Hephaistion was a long-time friend of Alexander, not somebody met later as others have argued recently. Nobody stops him from entering, nobody even questions his presence, only his weird greeting. He clearly thinks he belongs there, and so do the rest. It’s possible one of the higher ranking marshals sent him to find out what Alexander’s hold-up was, but if so, they sent Hephaistion because he had direct access.

So it’s an interesting little tale, although I’m not sure it’s indicative of anything except that Hephaistion had unfettered access to Alexander (or seems to have). It also suggests he wasn’t a high officer at that point because he was calling on Alexander, not overseeing his own men.

 Lucian in Greek for those able to read it:

[8] ὅτε Ἀλέξανδρος τὴν ἐν Ἰσσῷ μάχην ἀγωνιεῖσθαι ἔμελλεν, ὡς Εὐμένης ὁ Καρδιανὸς ἐν τῇ πρὸς Ἀντίπατρον ἐπιστολῇ λέγει, ἕωθεν εἰσελθὼν εἰς τὴν σκηνὴν αὐτοῦ ὁ Ἡφαιστίων, εἴτ᾽ ἐπιλαθόμενος εῖτ᾽ ἐκταραχθεὶς ὥσπερ ἐγὼ εἴτε καὶ θεοῦ τινος τοῦτο καταναγκάσαντος, ταὐτὸν ἐμοὶ ἔφη, Ὑγίαινε, βασιλεῦ, καιρὸς ἤδη παρατάττεσθαι. ταραχθέντων δὲ τῶν παρόντων πρὸς τὸ παράδοξον τῆς προσαγορεύσεως καὶ τοῦ Ηφαιστίωνος ὀλίγου δεῖν ὑπ᾽ αἰδοῦς ἐκθανόντος, Ἀλέξανδρος, Δέχομαι, εἶπε, τὴν κλῃδόνα: τὸ γὰρ σώους ἐπανήξειν ἀπὸ τῆς μάχης ἤδη μοι ὑπέσχηται.

[queerchoicesblog]

Did I check your blog several times awaiting the new chapter ? And did I re-read the whole serie, willing to get more and more of your story and your wonderful writing ? You can bet I did ! I've started coming to your blog because of Choices' fanfictions, stayed for the poetic flow of your words and while it's a wonder to see you thrive in those orignal stories of yours (I'm partial to the Belle Epoque one, as a French woman myself) I'm excited to see those beautiful Storyscape characters 1/

At last, here I am, sweet nonny 😊

First of all, you have no idea how your messages made me happy: THANK YOU! 😊❤

I truly loved Storyscape and miss it so much: how nice it would have been to cheer us up or at least distract us during these trying months.

And you're French! So nice, your language is utterly gorgeous! I can only hope I'm not butchering it in my fics, my French is bad sadly 😔

As for your questions, Surviving the Titanic, and what title Zetta would have chosen if she had to. Well, as you said, going through the traumatic experience even if in fiction must be hard for her yet she agrees all the same, setting it as the beginning of her renaissance. Judging by the plot of the original book, the whole idea of the movie seems to come from Richard: he's ambitious, young. I believe he genuinely cares for Zetta but it sounds like a lifetime occasion screaming easy success. So the title is simple, straight to the point, in line with the titles of the pictures back then.

I like to think that Zetta's agreement came after much consideration: is it the right thing to do? Since the story of the picture is so clearly inspired to Adele and Hileni, I headcanon Zetta eventually agreed on the project and taking charge of the script. That way to her eyes she could make a proper compromise: avoiding mere commercial exploitation of the tragedy and turning it into an homage to Adele. Also, she's in the business for too long to ignore that a story like that was all the audience could get of that night. Probably, if she could have picked the title, she would have added a bit of poetry and focused on the main characters? Surviving the Titanic sounds a bit impersonal...

As for Zetta's six months long silence. Yeah, at first, it didn't make sense to me even if I get the authors probably looked for the dramatic suspense between the arrival and the party: it seems to be a common feature for all the LIs. I tried to read through the lines of the movie party dialogue.

This seems to be the source of Zetta's torment. She stated that she had tried to put her feelings down into words for Adele but she never came up with a good answer.

When I read it the first time, I thought she wanted to break up with us but when I picked the "we should end things" option, she was quite upset and hurt. So it's not what she meant all along, I think. After that playthrough, her line sounds more like a squeal of pain. She wants to be with Adele, she loves her but must marry Richard to save her career so what she can offer to a free spirit like Miss Carrem? I think she feels guilty, desperately looking for a way not to lose Adele but not knowing why.

I will answer about dear Lawrence in the next bunch of asks 😉

As for your consideration over living as a member of the lgbtq community, I must say I have a soft spot for stories (either real or fictional) of wlw/mlm/trans people back in the old days or from a different era when they probably felt even lonelier or more hopeless and self doubting than us. I wish I could hug them tight and assure them that they are not alone and unloved/unlovable as they thought. And that decades, centuries after we live better lives: we can marry each other in many countries unlike back them, governments can promulgate laws to protect people against homophobic/biphobic/transphobic violence. Even if yes, recent events like the one Laverne denounced on her social media show, there is room for improvement as we still can't hold hands with a partner or exchanging PDAs with a partner or simply walk in the street without a care.

But yes, I hope it brings them some joy to see the progresses we have made through the years as a community and how we keep fighting all over the world for our rights and our right to be, to love, to exist like any other human being 🏳️‍🌈

[cricketrocker]

True Confession #1: 175 million to one or odds for all the things or luck

Some people have a bucket list of the experiences or achievements or hopes or felonies they hope to accomplish or commit during their lifetime. I've always wondered why it was called a "bucket" list but some not quantitative research on Google indicated that it's short for "before you kick the bucket" list. In any case. I woke up too early this morning and rather than opting for rowing machine, I started compiling a new kind of bucket list: true confessions.

Here we go. True Confession #1:

Since the dawn of the COVID era, I have started buying MegaMillons and Powerball lottery tickets, every time the jackpot exceeds $100 million. There are some other boundaries. Only for Friday and Saturday drawings. Well, not many other boundaries. Typically on Thursday or Friday morning, I'll pull into the Tom Thumb grocery store right by my workplace betwee 7:05-7:15AM. I'll buy some snacks for the week that will enable me to skip lunch. Then when the checkout option gives me the "want some cash back, you sucker?" option, I click yes and get $20 cash. I'll complete my purchase then hit the Texas Lottery vending machine on the way out the door. One for the Friday PowerBall, one for the Saturday MegaMillions. I sometimes wonder if anyone is watching. I skulk out to my vehicle, put the tickets in the center console. Then I proceed about my day. A little bit of banked endorphined imagined possibility.

The odds of winning the MegaMillions or Powerball lotteries are, according research conducted concurrently for the origin of "bucket list" an incomprehensible 175 million to 1. I use the word "incomprehensible" because those odds are made up of numbers and ratios and though I managed to pass Quantitative Research Methods/Statistics in my doctoral program this past spring, I'm definately doing a qualitative disseration. In any case. 175 (million) to 1. Odds--in statistics--are the probability that an event will occur divided by the probability that the event will not occur. In this case, for every favorable 1 (win), there are 175 (million) chances of the unfavorable (loser). That's probably not really the definition, but you get it. This is well known stuff.

But in the console of my car--well, another true confession moment.

True Confession #2: I no longer drive Jane, The Black Pearl. I now drive Jane, The Hell Bitch. Before judging me on the that, know that is a Lonesome Dove novel reference, the Hell Bitch part. That was the name of Captain Call's horse. It is not rude, just inspirational. Symbolic. The Jane part, remember, is what all my cars have been named in the post-piece-of-crap-Saturn era (post-2001). This a whole separate post someday.

Coming soon. True confession about the truck.

Back to #1, though. While you're still judging me on the mid-life truck, please try to focus back on the lottery tickets in the center console. I'm writing this on a Sunday morning. There are two tickets right now that I have not checked. I am content to not check them right now. Maybe all day. Maybe I won't check them for a week. Having passed Quantitative Research Methods/Statistics (did I already mention that? #flex), I am aware that the probablity of being impossibly wealthy is almost nothing.

However. You can say whatever you want. The probability is not nothing. The probabilty is not nothing. Not nothing.

At this very moment, the two tickets in Jane's console are representative of a not nothing chance of imagined infinite possibility. They are representative of imagined infinite possibility. Say that again, but this time imagine an instrumental harp flourish. Imagined infinite possibility.

For this moment, the probability is not nothing, and I have not yet demonstrated that I am not the winner of a fated fortune.

Instead, in the moments preceding when I choose to validate the brutal and practical and infinitesimal actuality that there will be no random-luck riches, I will imagine a little. Recently, I've shopped Google for "Castles for Sale" in the United Kingdom, mainly. I've made mental notes of my altrutistic intent. A building or two I would endow either at my alma mater or my workplace or in the city town square--with a requisite statue. I haven't quite figured out how I'd be statued, but I think the statue has to also be part of an elaborate water feature. Yep. I'd really want to give out a ton of scholarships. I'd really want to give out as many "make a wish"-style opportunities and moments. I don't really know. What I realize the most lately, though, is that I have no imagination. Or not much of one. I still have not checked those tickets from last weekend. Just maybe. The chance is not nothing.

There are spaces of quiet and limbo and of infinite possibility and of fortune. The bittersweet torment of longing for that infinitesimal treasure...and while that's my confession of this moment, there is something else. Perhaps the cosmic lottery, the infinitesimal chance of losing that which is most important, of that which cannot be recovered, of the run stoplight, of the lightning strike, of the odorless and colorless gas leak, of the mysterious and unknown internal abyss of a despairing teenage mind.

What is the very opposite of winning the lottery? Is it losing infinite possibility or all possibility? What is the imagined pleasure that maybe--for just a little while--a parent might be that lottery winner after all--versus the opposite--the unimaginable despairing of infinitesimal loss? That family has lost a son, that is all, he was beautiful, that is all.

What are the chances of winning the world? What are the chances of losing the world? What is the lottery of every second? Everything is 175 million to 1, right? My heart is broken for my friend. I am not helpful and neither are words. I am so thankful, though. So many infinitesimal chances leading up to right now. There is nothing truer than there is what there is.

[dontcallmecarrie]

I just binge read TWiFFON, and its sidefic and almost everything that's here about this universe and sadgkjhakjg you're amazing and this is amazing and I love you and this is one of the best fics (out of MCU fics especially) I've ever read. IM1 is one of my favorite movies ever, I love Tony very much and it hurts to see what they're doing to him in MCU (and what they're doing with all the characters, really), and I love your portrayal of him so much, because that's real Tony. (1/4)

Competent, genius Tony, owner of the huge company, the man, who, without the suit, is still the person who’s built this suit. From scraps. In a cave. In Afghanistan. While being tortured. Revolutionizing science on the way. I’m looking at you, Mr. I-Saw-The-Footage(And-Made-My-Judgment-Before-Actually-Meeting-You-And-Decided-You-Suck). Yeah, you can see how I just -love- Steve in this moment in “Avengers”. (2/4)

I always wondered what footage he saw, btw. From before-Afghanistan? From the IM2 Senate hearing? From the disastrous IM2 b-day party? Even if the scepter amplified their feelings, those feelings had to be there in the first place. And AoU and CW just make me go Hulk, so most of the time I pretend they didn’t happen and don’t exist unless we’re talking about -consequences-. It’s been years and I’m still bitter and salty as the Dead Sea. (¾)

Um. Anyways, I love you and your awesome fic, thank you so much for your writing

Glad you’re liking it so far, and thanks! 

Also: same. [the rest is under the cut because surprise meta’s apparently a thing, as are major spoilers, and I get very rambly, RIP mobile users otherwise.]

I got into the MCU when it first kicked off, and my favorite movie’s a toss-up between IM1 and The Avengers [though, due to recent events, I’m really leaning towards the former nowadays]. I love all the characters, and if I had a heart [because no, I don’t, nope, nothing’s ever made me tear up nope heart of stone right here], it’d be hurting because of the turn the MCU’s taken lately, and the level of character assassination I’ve seen is….the best comparison I can think of include the way Naruto ended [specifically, Sakura], or…well, you get the picture.

Just…the turn canon took, after Phase 1, left a bitter taste in my mouth. Tony’s my favorite character, and seeing how the world’s done its level best to break him when his origin story is literally him forging his armor from the guns that would’ve killed him otherwise is something that I have very strong feelings about. Add to that my spite after seeing the turn the fandom took after Civil War, and I couldn’t not write the fic where he actually [albeit accidentally] took over the world, by taking him back to his roots. 

[aka TWiFFON’s basically me venting passive-aggressively about the issues I have with the MCU]

As for my take on Steve? 

Even if it doesn’t look it, I kinda liked his character, early on. The way his character was mangled by the writers is another thing entirely, however, and after Phase 1 my enthusiasm didn’t wane so much as it tanked, especially after Age of Ultron. [ditto as to Civil War.]

But early on? I actually liked his character. My headcanon/take on his approach during the first Avengers movie was him being adrift in a world that’s moved on without him, so of course he’s clinging to what he remembers. 

That ended up being something that SHIELD/HYDRA took advantage of, though, and while Fury tried to help, the HYDRA guys did their level best to sabotage him, which succeeded in ways that don’t show up until later on. For instance, while Fury’s crew was the one to break the news of ‘so you slept 70 years, welcome to the future’, it was a HYDRA contingent that were the ones to ‘ease’ him into it, and so his briefings on history and whatnot were basically sabotaged. 

As in, they made sure to focus on the shitty parts of the past century, and glossed over the progress, and did their best to be subtle about it so that when Fury came around, he thought it was ‘okay Steve’s still settling in and hurting’ rather than ‘Steve’s hurting and everywhere he looks only makes it worse’. I mean, it wouldn’t even have been hard; breaking the news would’ve been dicey enough as is, but I can guarantee that HYDRA would’ve pulled no punches in painting everything to be as shitty as they could. 

I mean, even if they were trying to help, it would’ve been hard enough: because good luck updating the guy who literally did a suicide run to prevent his home country from being bombed about the Manhattan Project. 

That alone would’ve been messy enough, but also going through Korea and Vietnam and the list just goes on, while also trying to go ‘we’re the good guys’, and I’m pretty sure Steve’s faith in humanity would’ve taken a hit somewhere in there. And that’s if it was SHIELD who was doing it; if it was HYDRA instead? Just…yikes.

And Tony has a lot of fodder that could be used against him. 

He’s a powerhouse, a loose cannon, and is very visibly anti-establishment when it comes to some things, so when Steve’s trying to cling to a vestige of the past, it’s so, very easy for a HYDRA technician to pull some clips of Tony’s messing around and gloss over ‘yeah he’s also a genius and built a suit somewhere along the way’ while doing their level best to make sure that Steve does not like Tony, because if those two got along it would not end well for HYDRA so best nip that in the bud. [I’ve got a fic idea that plays with that premise, actually, but…rambling again, oops.]

Doesn’t help that people’s values have changed, either; nowadays, we’re a lot more cynical as to what’s going down in Congress, for instance, or the military-industrial complex, so just right there’s some culture clash. Iirc, pre-Nixon, people viewed what happened in DC differently than they do now, and I don’t think Clinton helped any, either. And that’s just one example.

tl;dr: I headcanon that HYDRA sabotaged Steve’s possible relationship with Tony, among other things. 

Now, when it comes to the world domination thing…

You can probably tell I’m having a lot of fun with it. It’s part of what helps keep the tone of TWiFFON fun for me to write, and I’m choosing to go the cracky route instead of the grimdark serious one because this fic’s self-indulgence at its finest, and my life is stressful enough as is. 

Because, I mean, for me it’s either laugh or cry, and I can’t afford to cry, when it comes to the tire fire that’s going on. I can laugh or cry, so I’d rather go for deadpan ‘so apparently this shit’s more plausible than some of what I’m seeing in the news’ rather than get even more gray hair stressing out over stuff I have no control over. [Playing with power dynamics in a fictional universe where there’s magic and aliens is very good stress relief, is what I’m saying.] Plus, y’know, it gives me an outlet for whenever I see yet another ‘Tony Stark was the villain!’ post. 

You probably know that originally, TWiFFON was supposed to be way darker [and shorter]. However, thanks to…life, I decided to go for broke and went ‘screw it, this is stress relief so might as well go for broke’, and since I love the Accidental World Domination trope…[getting rambly again, oops] 

Thus, why it’s going to take a literal Destroyer of Worlds to break it to Tony that yes, he took over the world. Oops. 

However, since apparently I can’t help but be pedantic about power dynamics and politics and whatnot: it’s probably more low-key than some of my readers are expecting. Here, it’s not going to really show until we reach the Final Battle arc, but I’m trying my best to avoid imperialistic tones where that part’s concerned. 

Like, yes, the fic’s going to devolve to crack by then, but the world domination part’s going to end up being due to basically [heads up for major fic spoilers]:

The world: so 

The world: you have Skynet in your pocket. A horde of them, even.

Tony: guys, you are so grounded why’d you pull that stunt I told you—

JARVIS: *is unrepentant*

FRIDAY: *is also unrepentant*

JOCASTA: *is shamelessly using her full capabilities to help clean up the battlefield*

Tony: JARVIS, you were supposed to the the role model, not the bad influenc—

Tony: wait what do you mean you want me to take them offline

Tony: okay you know what? Fight me

on top of everything else. But the above being the main motivation for Tony’s not stepping down after the Final Battle, and I intend to go into more detail when the matter comes up. [Hopefully I do it right.]

But for the most part?

It’s not like he can put it on his shelf to collect dust or anything, no way does he want to rule the world! Tony’s got more than enough power as is, and he’s happy enough being the Head of R&D. Hell, he’s got more than enough as his plate as is, why the fuck would he want to add to his workload?! Strange, stop laughin—Rhodey, why are you giving Hope money? Thor, you too—what do you mean ‘you lost a bet’? JARVIS, you are so grounded!

aka his life is s u f f e r i n g because he didn’t sign up for any of this, thank you very much, how is this his life, where did he go wrong in his life choices?

Strange, you can stop laughing any time now. Any time. 

…screw it, might as well roll with it. Anyone mind if they call themselves the Federation if any other aliens come around? Or would that violate some copyright law? 

meanwhile, elsewhere: 

everyone at Stark Industries is scratching their heads and wondering where the miscommunication happened before shrugging and carrying along because business as usual now includes world domination, oops

Pepper’s in Maui finally getting her vacation. 

JARVIS doesn’t really mind, as it simply means he has less variables to control for to help keep Tony safe and happy, so he’s completely and utterly shameless about it all. Even if he’s so, very grounded for pulling the stunts he did during the Final Battle arc. 

Fury is in an unspecified location, laughing at Tony while also feeling very proud of him because this is the opposite of a problem and free entertainment at its finest, yes, this was worth it. Not what he’d expected, but most definitely worth the headache.

[just putting it out there to hopefully give an idea of what I’m aiming for, at the end of the fic.] Hopefully it gets across right. Just…world domination, but with a kinda relaxed take on things.

Kinda sorry for the spoilers, but that moment’s one of the ones I’ve been really looking forward to and it’s been the better part of a year and this fic just keeps growing.

[walsiegirl]

You don't have to answer this question if you don't want to, but it's been bothering my mind quite a bit lately - how did you come to your conclusion in believing Geoffrey to be innocent in his case? I'm not judging or hating, I'm just curious. This is all coming from a fan new to him and his work, who really admires him but is feeling unsure. Again, you don't have to answer if you're not comfortable. I've looked at both sides and I'm just very, very confused as to what the truth really is, so I figured getting an older fan's perspective would help me understand anything I might be missing. Thank you in advance.🙏

Hi Anon! Sorry it took me a while to get back to you, I’ve been away and stuff.

This is a tough one and there honestly isn’t a right or wrong answer; it’s absolutely fine to be unsure and I cannot say one hundred percent he is innocent, nor can I say he is guilty. The way the case was initially reported was unfair to both parties, and they both went through essentially a trial by media, with others jumping in either with their own accusations or opinions, before anything really came to court. From a legal perspective, yes Geoffrey has won his case against the newspaper as there was, to over simplify it, little evidence to the contrary, which was a relief for those of us who have always admired him. But does that mean he hasn’t done anything wrong at all? It’s truly impossible to say.

When I very first heard about the allegations, I was confused, devastated and I wondered if I had got him completely wrong from the start. It’s taken time, reflection, and coming to terms with the fact that even people one admires may fuck up some times (some bigger than others) to help me feel, if not sure about things, then at least able to come to terms with it all to a degree. So straight off, I’m sorry I can’t give you a definitive answer, but I can ramble around the points that are central to the reason I still feel able to enjoy his work and the memories he gave me.

Firstly, I think Geoffrey Rush has enough integrity as a person to own up if he’s fucked up. Again, I’m going on my gut, it’s fine to disagree with me and people will. When presented with the allegations, he denied them, but he also stepped down from any positions of responsibility he felt he should not hold whilst being under scrutiny, and also apologised to former co-stars if he had made them feel uncomfortable with his work methodology. That isn’t him being silent and not acknowledging the problem, it’s taking a stand to start to work through it without being arrogant enough to go on as normal. It’s about starting a discourse.

Rolling on from that, I think the “making co-stars feel uncomfortable/sexually harassing co-stars” is probably the area of contention. I don’t personally feel or believe that Geoff would intentionally go out of his way to demean, oppress or harass people - again I am open to being proved wrong, this is just gut feeling and intuition - but Geoffrey is a naturally cheeky, playful, possibly even controversial character who I could easily see pushing boundaries in professional spheres - perhaps being overly extravagant, overly touchy-feely, overly jokey. This could easily make people feel uncomfortable and harassed. I think sometimes it can be too easy when you’re successful to become complacent and forget that not everyone is onboard with your ways of doing things and ways of being, with your self confidence and ego. A lot of people, myself included, are very good at being polite and tolerating things they find uncomfortable because they’re too worried/scared/tolerant to say otherwise. If you’re faced with an A-list actor who has a lot of clout, then by all means you may feel unable to speak up about feeling uncomfortable or not enjoying the way they treat you or work with you. It’s like being faced with the person at work who has been established at your company for a long time and is being overly familiar with you - do you dare tell the boss their favourite is too much for you? Probably not, you want to keep your job. And this kind of power imbalance may be where the issue lies.

So you are saying the allegations are all true? you’re probably asking now. No but I can easily see where there are lots of grey areas in this debacle rather than two black and white possibilities of guilty and not. Things may have been taken out of context or blown out of proportion - or not, who knows? When you’re acting and in close bodily contact with other people, and in theatre/film/tv this is a constant, there is a high risk you might touch people inappropriately. Was there true harassment in this instance, or were actions misjudged? Were comments said in jest, in humour, in affection misconstrued as creepy and inappropriate, or was that their real intent? When you only have two contrasting views, it’s impossible to know the truth. Also everything an individual experiences is relative - what one person may feel is harassment, the next may think is a funny joke or not even notice. This is where consent and communication come in - it’s important people, particularly those in positions of “power”, check in on their other halves/colleagues/co-stars once in a while to make sure everything is ok. If there isn’t trust and communication, then you end up with dumpster fires like this.

So what else can I ramble about? 

People fuck up. All the time. The difference with being accused of fucking up when you’re an A-list Oscar winner is that the whole world will know about it and lynch you for it, regardless of your guilt, and the internet is very good for spreading information quickly, both truth and lies and everything in between. Though it is fine to hold people to account and question accusations, it’s worth remembering that we all have fucked up in our lives; not all to the same degree, and some things it is utterly fine to not to forgive someone for, but I think one of the reasons I came around about things was that I can think of a few occasions in my life where I have royally fucked up, and if I had been famous I would not have lived it down. As I’m not famous though, the fuck-ups were resolved to a greater or lesser degree and now are mostly forgotten - except by me who can never forgive myself and will think about it until I die. I guess I just realised that I cannot judge because I have been a dick in my time, too. It’s not an excuse, I’m not trying to say that fuck ups are excusable if they have happened, but again there has to be a point where we move on or else we just get stuck feeling suicidal and not being able to recover. The important thing is to make amends and face your mistakes if they have been made. Can we let celebrities fuck up and come back? Depends on the fuck up of course, and sometimes it may be they lose their liberties, they need to regain trust, but sometimes there can be rehabilitation and success again - like Robert Downey Jr.

And though positive past conduct does not mean a person will never do or hasn’t done wrong, a lot of people who have worked with Geoff either as a co-star, or have directed him, etc, have voiced their support for him and enjoyed working with him. On a personal note, I will always have ridiculously positive memories of meeting him and writing to him. It’s a totally different kettle of fish to working professionally with him, of course, but I can’t forget that during the 2000s he used to like to keep a distant eye on the discourse between his fans online; he liked to know if his fans would be at such-and-such an event, and he even brought me a promo book about The Golden Age as a thank you when I dragged my arse down to Norfolk in the UK to see him at an event in 2007; he often felt more friend than celebrity to us. He was polite and curious, asked little questions like what you studied at university, what dog you had, what your username meant. He was exceptionally trusting of us, too.  And I just remember how chill he could be - I remember him texting his wife when a group of us met him in NY after his play there, or he’d step out for a smoke, and you’re like that’s a normal person, he’s checking in with his fam, doing his own thing, but he’s still got time for us. He was always a down to earth, friendly guy, beyond generous with his time and we all as a fan community felt appreciated by him. It was beyond cool. And I can’t forget that kindness, the fact he made me feel that I mattered. His benevolence has naturally garnered much loyalty in me.

And finally I also ask myself, if this was a family member, or a close friend, would I abandon them in bad weather? And the answer is no. Even if they fucked up badly, you help family and friends get through things, you help them rehabilitate, you support them making amends, and support them making reparations to anyone who has been hurt or wronged if need be. When I have fucked up, I haven’t been abandoned; yes reprimanded, yes cowed, but I’ve been given the opportunity to make amends and bounce back.

So long answer is, there is no answer. I have never affirmed or denied his innocence or guilt because I can’t. It has to come down to gut feeling in the end and trying to weigh up the mass of information and misinformation. It’s about invading the professional and private lives of people we probably have no business looking into. It’s about understanding that celebrities are just people, and they can potentially fuck up as badly as we do, but they may also be innocent of accusations like we can be too. It’s accepting that we can’t know any truths unless solid evidence is presented either way. So at present, I will continue to enjoy his films, his tv shows, his legacy, and appreciate everything he ever did for me either directly, or indirectly through his work. But I am also open-minded enough that if any hard evidence ever presented itself to the contrary, there may come a day I need to reappraise my position. But hopefully he is true to his word and to his success in winning his case, and he can work toward recovery and potentially even acting again, though the blow has been great, both to him and his accuser. He may never work again. My greatest fear is that if he is genuinely completely innocent of everything, then he has had the greatest joy in his life taken from him. I try not to dwell on that too much.

I hope that diatribe helps. It’s the elephant in the room that is hard to acknowledge but no one can tell you how to feel about it. It has to come from your own heart and soul. I also appreciate there are many other elements to consider but I can’t possibly cover all bases. It’s probably worth saying that I have been a victim of being groomed by a man so I understand the importance of women or vulnerable peoples having a voice, but that doesn’t necessarily mean every accusation against men is true, either.