#yes i'm saying people hate a man because of misogyny

[laceratedlamiaceae]

The real reason Izzy gets so much hate is because he's wife-coded and fandom loves to hate any woman who gets in the way of their m/m ships

[xxacidnekoxx]

I remember how nice people acted to me when I was in the closet and literally coming out as trans was traumatic for me and how angry people got at me that I "would become more ugly" if I did testosterone . . . I know that it just all means the friends I had weren't good in the first place it is so... upsetting to be living in this body that I have that I dont feel like I should be in and also experiencing misogyny, and how angry people get at me for things that are so small in comparison to how it used to be when I "was cis" yes I often miss being a cis bisexual lady because everyone was so niceys to meeee ..... But no... there are people who treat me right and its better knowing its real, I will never go back even if I decide to wear dresses or anything I'm still a man too.. idk I heard a lot of trans mascs end up detransitioning and it makes me sad because I totally understand the pressure to give up and become a cis girl and I have nightmares about detransitioning and everyone around me saying things like "OH FINALLY ... you're WAY cuter like this I HATED that you had that phase but finally you're cute again :) " also I never ever had been called "creepy" before I came out that whole "creepy freak" vibe thing only happened after I became trans and yeah people were calling me creepy by the day I came out (and I was never called that before and I already had a pretty long art career beforehand.. ) >_> ? my art has gotten more tame over time too its literally the most tame its ever been LOL

[jesncin]

I appreciate most of your takes but don't understand how you look at a character like livewire, a character created in the middle of a 90's feminist movement and come to the conclusion she's supposed to a be a caricature of classical racist conservatism

?? huh is this an elaborate joke I'm missing out on?? Like you're roleplaying as a Shockateer? There's no tone indicators so I'm left to my own perception that you're being serious so I'll have to respond in seriousness. I'm gonna be so embarrassed if this is a joke :(((

So...just because a character is made "in the middle of the 90's" or "feminist movement" doesn't...mean they're a feminist character? Like with that logic, Tana Moon is a feminist icon I guess. Also "caricature of classical racist conservatism"? man, I kinda envy how people think the way I write her is Cartoony Evil Racism and not a toned down depiction of how personalities like Posie Parker, Matt Walsh, and Blaire White talk. I suppose I'm glad you haven't encountered anyone that awful. Good for you! 👍

Livewire meta under the cut fellas

I feel like you don't have a very holistic view of Livewire's character. Because while yes, she has been used for feminist critique in the show and comics, that's not all there is to her character. My take on Livewire is a commentary on how white womanhood intersects with parasocial internet grifts and the larger way identity gets filtered online. It's a take influenced by how she literally started out as a controversial provocative shock jock in STAS.

There's so much potential to re-imagine her hatred of Superman as a commentary on how white women feel justified in harassing marginalized men because it looks like a punch-up to misogyny. The way she uses the accident Superman caused as a way to white-woman-victimize herself and prime her audience to hate him more. You can take the spinoff comic where she only lets women speak on the air as her presenting a black and white, non-intersectional view of social progress. Kind of like how TERFs keep fantasizing about a world without men as a utopia? In CW Supergirl, Livewire plays into internalized misogyny and homophobia to jab at Supergirl. Not showing up for her fellow women if you ask me.

Because while yes, Leslie has been shown to be a character who had to deal with sexism, she's also a really compelling narrative for an imperfect victim. Just because a character deals with sexist hardship, doesn't mean it makes her a feminist ideal y'know? Leslie lashes out and weaponizes her victimhood, she uses her audience to bully others.

I think one of the flaws to the longevity of her character as a villain is because her narrow hatred of Supes makes her themes short lived. So I really want to expand it through Satoshi Kon-style deconstruction of how people juggle having multiple identities in the modern era. In the (bleh) Batgirl Burnside comic Livewire shows up in, she returns as a being of energy who doesn't remember who she was before. In STAS, it's left ambiguous whether she actually believes what she says about Superman or if it's all part of an act that "pays the bills!".

Imagine the opportunity to make it so she pieced together a sense of self from the fractured way her audience viewed her! What a great way to talk about how parasocial relationships make us think we know a person from the bombastic way they present themselves (Casually Comics thought of this brilliant take). DCSHG has been the most competent reimagining of Livewire. A perfect update of her shock jock origins into the internet era that revitalizes her attention-seeking traits into the clout-chasing grind of social media personality.

All this to say, Livewire's way more that just "sassy woman on the radio fighting against The Man!" I think making her a punk appropriating, rebellious, internet personality who uses her privilege to marginalize others for clout and money is a natural, more political progression of what DCSHG built with her character.

I don't really understand how you can look at a character whose most prominent iterations involve her bullying and targeting people (including other women) and tell me she's "feminist" unless you actually believe in Leslie's version of White Woman Girl Power. Any kind of "feminism" that touts Hating Men as a major point should be something to be critical of.

[sdv-confessions]

I heard that there was a Clint hate fest going on, and I ran as fast as I could. I have an essay to write about this man.

Frankly, Clint is an unsympathetic and bad character. He doesn't have the personality or nuance of most other stardew characters, and the few personality traits he does have don't work to make him sympathetic. If his personality or storyline was tweaked slightly, I can see him working as a sort of Harvey/Shane hybrid, but as it stands, he's just boring and offputting.

to begin with: clint is a flat character. He essentially has two character traits--- blacksmithing and wanting Emily. The problem isn't that he's a lonely social outcast---the problem is that he's *only* a lonely social outcast. The two characters most similar to him (Harvey and Shane) both are lonely, yes, but they also have their own interests and hobbies. Harvey's interested in aviation, Shane likes chickens. These are character traits shown to us through heart events, dialogue, and environmental storytelling. They are not just "lonely doctor" or "lonely retail worker." They have depth beyond their job and struggles.

Clint, on the other hand, is almost laughably flat. I scoured his page on the stardew wiki, and the ONLY piece of other characterization I could find for him is that he, apparently, might like blues music. We know this because of one (1) tape found in his room. That is IT. literally EVERYTHING ELSE we get from Clint are related to a) his job, b) his depression, or c) his desire for a woman. That’s literally it.

Further, he does not develop throughout the game. He begins his story being a sad and lonely blacksmith who wants Emily. He ends his story being a sad and lonely blacksmith who wants Emily. Unlike, say, George (another initially unlikeable character) Clint doesn’t grow or develop as a character. He never gets over his feelings for Emily, and he never really does anything about it either. He’s a static character who never does anything but bitch about his life.

Speaking of bitching about his life, we need to talk about that, as this is one of the only real personality trait we can draw from his dialogue. If you take a cursory scroll through his dialogue on the wiki, it’s truly astonishing how much of his dialogue is just whining about his life. For a taste:

*“Damn it, I'm too old to do anything exciting anymore. All I have to look forward to is years and years of sweaty, hot furnace-work.”*

“Maybe I can find a girlfriend on the 'internet'... What? Don't judge me! Not everyone is a cool, attractive, socially-adept farmer, you know! What's a guy like me supposed to do? *Groan*”

“I feel bad admitting it, but sometimes I wish there was a real disaster, not just some dumb green rain. Something to shake everything up, you know? Not that I want people to get hurt... I just want to feel alive... To feel like I have a purpose...”

When we combine these two traits (passive, inactive character + complaining about life constantly) we end up with a character which comes off as completely unsympathetic. He seems like a whiny, self-pitying man who, despite his seeming dissatisfaction with his life, never seems to really do anything to change it. He sees himself as a perpetual victim, and spends most of his time feeling sorry for himself.

This isn’t even addressing his view of women and relationships, which seem to be pulled straight from the comments on an incel video. His attitude towards women has been discussed at length elsewhere, and I trust I don’t need to address it. Even without the misogyny and incel rhetoric, however, I believe Clint still fundamentally fails as a character. He is flat, static, and unsympathetic, and he deserves the hate he gets.

anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk

.

[msmargaretmurry]

hi i’m sorry super random question — i love your writing, and i was wondering if you had any fav books to recommend? i’m trying to read more lately!! thank you so much!!! 💖

no apologies necessary and thank you so much!! yay for reading more! i have so many books i love and usually i would try to tailor recommendations to someone's interests so i will just try to give a little smorgasbord here.

under the cut please find a very long list of recs; i hope there are a few that sound appealing to you! if there are things you like to have content warnings for and can't tell from the goodreads listing, feel free to message me to ask! 💕

literary/contemporary fiction

beartown by fredrik backman: this is the hockey novel, imo. somehow backman captures everything hockey is — violence, entitlement, racism, privilege, misogyny — while still writing a breathtaking story about people who love the sport and people who unwillingly get caught up in its wake. there are two sequels, which i haven't read yet solely because i'm afraid of how many feelings they'll make me feel.

the secret history by donna tartt: yes, the og dark academia book. moody, atmospheric, and pretentious, i feel like it's a you-love-it-or-hate-it, and i love it. a delicious critique of elitist academia even while filled with morsels for classics-loving nerds. fantastic, deeply fucked-up characters.

station eleven by emily st john mandell: not sure if reading this during a pandemic was the best idea, but it certainly added something to the experience. i love emily st john mandell's prose, and the post-pandemic-apocalypse world she builds feels simultaneously fantastical and painfully real.

evvie drake starts over by linda holmes: this is the perfect example of what i want in a contemporary romance novel. deeply character-driven, sweet, achy, lovely.

historical fiction

in memoriam by alice winn: oh man oh man. we read this one for book club last month and it blew me away. brutal, devastating, romantic.

how much of these hills is gold by c pam zhang: really loved how this book brought a new lens to the American western/frontier story, loved how it blended Chinese mythology into the story, loved how it unflinchingly did race and gender in ways that felt both illuminating and historically true.

the island of sea women by lisa see: i love lisa see's historical fiction because she does a shitload of research and weaves it into her stories in ways that don't feel like infodumping. on top of her being an excellent writer, i always feel like i've learned something.

the book thief by markus zusak: just a masterclass in point of view. made me ugly cry in public.

the nickel boys by colson whitehead: i mean, colson whitehead is just so good. harrowing, atmospheric, and smart, the characters and story feel absolutely real in the best and worst ways.

fantasy/sci-fi

the radiant emperor duology by shelley parker-chan: man, this duology is one of the best fucking things i've read in the past few years. kind of an alternate-history 14th-century china, now with more magic and more gender. brutal and delicious. morally gray everything.

the farseer trilogy and the liveship traders trilogy by robin hobb: these were my favorite books as a teen and i've recently been rereading them (i'm finally on the third book of the second trilogy!) and having such a good time. structurally they're very classic high fantasy but i think hobb is so fucking good at worldbuilding and characters.

the left hand of darkness by ursula k. leguin: look, it's a classic for a reason! i will say if you start it and you feel kind of lost: stick with it, slow down, and be patient. the pov character is a stranger in a strange land and you feel every bit of that. another masterclass in point of view.

tuyo by rachel neumeier: i love reccing this book because it's just a random self-published fantasy novel that one of the gals in my book club found somehow and it wound up being super fun? the worldbuilding is fun, the culture clash is tense (and fun), and i feel like the concept of a "tuyo" could do numbers as a fanfic trope if people got on board!

the thief by megan whalen turner: another great book for pov!!! just a really fun and satisfying read (and pretty short, if you need something short!). the rest of the series is also very good and worth reading but none of it hit quite as hard for me as this first book, possibly because the first book is just so excellent.

young adult/middle grade

on the come up by angie thomas: this is specifically an audiobook rec. i'm sure this book is also good reading with your eyes, but it's about a teen girl who wants to be a rapper, and i think being able to hear the rhythm of the language, esp the rapping itself, makes for a fantastic audiobook experience.

the westing game by ellen raskin: another classic for a reason!! one of the smartest books out there, a joy to read for the first time at any age.

michigan vs the boys by carrie s. allen: the thing is, i usually i find first person present tense so annoying it's nigh unreadable, but i found this book about a teen girl having to play on her high school's boys' hockey team after they cut funding to the girls' program so charming and compulsively readable. bonus points that the author really knows her hockey!

darius the great is not okay by adib khorram: even just thinking about this book puts a lump in my throat lmao. just a beautiful coming of age story that deals with identity and depression and belonging and family and more.

the loneliest girl in the universe by lauren james: pretty sure i tore through this book in one sitting. great sci-fi setting and sense of creeping dread.

a wrinkle in time by madeleine l'engle: another classic for a reason, lol. including it on this list because it is actually my favorite book. l'engle has such a special touch with writing — it's so full of heart. as a kid one of the things i loved about this book was that it didn't dumb any of its sophisticated worldbuilding and characterization down for me, which i think is a great lesson for a writer.

memoir-ish

they can't kill us until they kills us by hanif abdurraqib: hanif is the GOAT and i recommend anything he's written, but this book of essays about music, culture, and hanif's life is easily my favorite of his work.

a ghost in the throat by doireann ní ghríofa: stunningly original mix of personal essay, poetry, history — i'm not even sure how to describe it. but it floored me.

in the dream house by carmen maria machado: speaking of creeping dread!!! many people have said many smart things about how good this book is so i will simply say they are all extremely correct.

sports nonfiction

the boys in the boat by daniel james brown: a gorgeously written love letter to rowing juxtaposed hauntingly against the rise of hitler. i have not seen the movie, but there's no way it could be as good as the book.

bottom of the 33rd by dan barry: possibly this is a baseball book for baseball people, but i loved every meandering moment of this lovingly written microhistory of the longest baseball game ever played.

the last best league by jim collins: another baseball book, sorry, baseball books are so good. this one's about the amateur league on cape cod where the best college players play in the summer. a great august read imo.

impossible owls: essays by brian phillips: a sprawling book of sportswriting from a former grantland writer. i read it five years ago and still think about it sometimes

other nonfiction

forget the alamo by bryan burrough, chris tomlinson, & jason standford: i made myself pick only ONE history nonfiction for this list because otherwise we'd be here all day. but this one is so good, especially if you're interested in the making and unmaking of american mythology.

empire of pain by patrick radden keefe: i do actually recommend anything prk writes, but this book on the sacklers' evil pharmaceutical empire is both timely and exhaustively reported. another audiobook rec as well, because prk reads it himself and you can hear the disdain in his voice.

because internet: understanding the new rules of language by gretchen mcculloch: really fun read about the development of online dialect and language! at five entire years old it's already a smidge out of date, but still so enjoyable.

[swallowtail-ageha]

Scrolling through your asoiaf tag and you have such good and correct opinions like how can anyone love just Dany or just Sansa or just Arya like how can anyone not see the parallels between Dany and Sansa it makes me feel so crazy like why are there so few people who love all the girlies?? I genuinely love every single female POV character and can’t imagine hating any of them. I mean sure yeah Cersei is a villain but you’re telling me her tragedy doesn’t touch your heart? Watching this woman desperately try to avoid her prophecy as it unfolds before you doesn’t have you in a death grip? Or like are you unmoved by Sansa telling an annoying snotty little boy how brave he is because she wants him to feel better? Dany comforting Missandei when her brother dies? Arya getting to the house of the black and white and immediately thinning to being a man a cup of water (or at least what she thought was water)? How about Sansa telling Joffrey she hopes Robb cuts his head off? Dany sassing the man who wants to open the fighting pits? Arya telling Jaquen to kill himself? Like please come on. All three girls are obviously different but they share so many very endearing traits. I am fiercely holding tight to my delusion that Dany and Sansa will bond over stories and songs and Arya will teach Dany about all the flowers in Westeros and then Sansa will show them how to make flower crowns and embroider little emblems on Arya’s clothes

First of all tysm!!!!

The whole arya vs sansa vs dany fandom fight frustrates me to no end, mainly because all parties involved seem to have little to no empathy to the characters whose stans they oppose. It's all maliciously extrapolating some parts of the text to make them see worse than what they are (ex: daenerys' "if i look back i am lost" getting twisted from "dany knows that dwelling on what ifs and turning your back after you have taken a commitment will only damage you in the long term" in "dany doesn't want to reflect on her past mistakes and will go mad and get stabbed to death" or sansa getting frustrated at sweetrobin being a sign of her being ableist and classist while it's. Just a normal reaction of a stressed and traumatized 13 yo who is otherwise very sweet to her cousin)

For loving the female characters same! Even those who commit outwardly villainous acts do get lots of humanizing moments, Cersei, as awful as she is, is simply a product of the hyper misogynistic society she lives in plus years of parental and spousal abuse (and the doomed by prophecy vibes) and. I genuinely don't get how people can look at the walk of shame and say it's a fitting punishment to her crimes

Overall all the hate for female characters that are more complex or more driven or more morally ambiguous than what most female characters are presented as in other media in a fandom who (supposedly) prides itself in liking morally ambiguous characters is.. frustrating, really. I blame both fandom misogyny but also the GoT series, as it's outright changes in female character's actions and stories to make them look better or worse than what they originally were skewered the visions of almost everyone in the fandom (arya is an egregious victim of this. Scenes such as her caring for Weasel or her befriending sex workers in braavos don't exist and they added that "all girls are idiot" scene that i hate and they removed all her plan to free the northmen from harrenal and she got turned from traumatized child to hashtag no one super cool assassin and her character got straight up murdered in the tv series.)

Oh and also for kickstarting the whole jonsa vs jonerys thing which i'm pretty sure is the origin of the stupid dany vs sansa wars

And yes!! Dany Sansa and Arya should get to meet and reunite! While i do think that there will be some slight tensions between Sansa and Arya because they left on Not So Well terms, they have also matured a lot, so i do think they would have an heartfelt reunion. Meanwhile Dany and Arya could bond because of both their connection to Braavos and Arya's admiration for those who free slaves, and Dany would empathize (and feel a common ground) with Sansa for her being a child who had all her family die and got married extremely young while beeing creeped on by older men, while Sansa, who is shown to admire women like Margaery or Myranda, who are shown to be very keen regarding politics or social issues, something that Dany is

In the end, i genuinely hope that all three of these traumatized little girls get their happy ending and none of them dies, they all are interesting and complex characters that share parallels with each other, and it sucks that because of stupid ship wars or discussions on who would get the throne they get pitted against each other. THEY WOULD BE FRIENDS Y'ALL

[redditreceipts]

I’ve been closed to getting peaked and checking out radblr for a while but something gets me about how much a lot of radblr hates ftms idk. There’s a lot of emphasis about how even if sex is otherwise consensual, lying to get consent you wouldn’t have otherwise gotten is rape by deception, which I agree with. However, on a post talking about straight men admitting they claim to be gay just to get sex from ftms “desperate for validation” I didn’t see a single radfem calling this out as rape by deception??? Just honestly people making fun of “delusional straight women” and how them getting manipulated by straight men into believing gay men want them “makes dating life harder for real gay men” and something just irks me about it. There’s a lot of talk about how feminism needs to fight for even female people who disagree and fight against our own rights but it feels like some radfems have no sense of solidarity for ftms, and can only conceive of us as tragic self hating lesbians or manipulative homophobic straight women. And it’s just frustrating because anyone who’s been ftm/some kind of transmasculine in trans communities know how much we don’t get to say fucking anything if it might remotely offend mtfs. I think claims of solidarity for women you disagree with is bullshit if you can’t find solidarity for female people who identify as trans.

hey :) sorry for the late answer

I think that this impression comes because of three reasons:

a lot of feminists receive insane amounts of harassment from ftms. like, death threats on a regular basis. especially on tumblr, where there are a lot more of trans men than trans women, it's just statistically more likely to get harassed by a trans man. but because of this, many have this kind of reaction towards trans men when they really shouldn't. I get that it's kinda hard to fight for the right of a person when they have just sent you death threats, but at the end, you are of course right and we have to fight for every female person, no matter their opinions. also, not all trans men engage in that kind of behaviour.

a lot of people here are detransitioners or desisters (people who have identified as transgender, but now have decided to not take the medical route). I myself have been identifying as non-binary for some time, but now I know that this came from internalised misogyny. I'm sometimes scared about what would have happened if I had listened to many ftm activists and taken the medical route. it's hard to not get bitter when I see people on here telling women just like me to start testosterone and maybe make the biggest mistake of their life. and there's always the thought of "that could have been me". but well, in the end, we can't act as if all trans men did that kind of thing. it's just a portion, even though they are the most vocal ones oftentimes. (also, there probably are some people for whom medical transition is the best option. we talk a lot about how internalised misogyny influences gender dysphoria, but there might as well be cases of gender dysphoria that people are just born with, or that are so ingrained that they can't be healed. these people deserve compassion and acceptance too)

for the thing with trans men in gay male dating spaces - that's probably where we disagree the most. I have been on lesbian events where there have been "trans lesbians", and there has been an insane amount of guilt-tripping, incel behaviour, and I have been sexually harassed by a "trans lesbian" who later went on to rape a lesbian (and yes, this weren't some internet people, all of that was in person). a lot of us have been exposed to this kind of predatory behaviour, and I think that there is no excuse for a straight person to go to a gay event and expect people to date you. full stop. is it shitty to trick trans men into sex by pretending to be a gay man? yes. is it sex under false pretenses? yes. are both of the involved parties engaging in a similar behaviour (i. e. acting as something you're not to have sex with members of a marginalised demographic)? yes. should we fight for and try to protect trans men? also yes. is it hard to have sympathy for a person that went into a space trying to do conversion therapy on gay men so they can have sex with them and got tricked themselves? at least for me, it is. but should we try to get over that feeling and help these trans men as well? definetly.

but well, I actually think that you yourself can add some interesting perspectives. being a feminist is not a religion, and you can find your own opinion. you don't have to agree with everything that is said here, and we are not like certain other online groups where everyone has to be in line or they're a traitor (or at least I hope not). if there are things you think people on here are wrong about, speak about it! tell us how to better support trans men and even better if it's from your own experience :) if you think that there is a voice missing, you yourself can be that voice. :)

[woeismyhoe]

I'm gonna preface this by saying I have no problem with representation. I love queer stories, especially when they're organic and natural. I'm bi, and I've had fulfilling relationships with women as well as men. Honestly, I would love a spin-off on Brimsley and Reynolds. It didn't feel.....forced. the characters were new and their story grew organically. Michaela? No. I'm trying to articulate how I feel without sounding like I hate the queer community because I genuinely don't. I appreciated Benedict's story line even if it was a little jarring. He's exploring, experimenting and that's fine. It still doesn't take away from his story. But the introduction of Michaela felt like a guy punch. It felt wrong. I've never particularly like gender swapping in stories based on an original IP, because it changes a lot of dynamics. It changes a lot of story lines. And yes, it's fiction, but I'm sorry I cannot get over it, especially when it's such a blatant case of pandering. It makes me feel as if I'm wrong to question this change and I've somehow internalised homophobia. If so, then why wouldn't I hate other queer characters or be similarly uncomfortable?

Okay I think I can make my argument clear with an example. If anyone has seen the movie Love Lies Bleeding, I think they'll get it. The sexual orientation of the characters didn't matter. It felt right. And it was not important to the story. It was just an established dynamic and we could enjoy the plot easily. It wouldn't have mattered if it was a heterosexual couple or a homosexual couple, the story is largely unchanged. If Michael becomes Michaela, here's the issues I see. Who inherits Kilmartin. We've already established an estate will go to the next male heir if the current owner dies. A major part of Michael's story was his guilt over his inheritance and his imposter syndrome. His story arc taking his place in parliament. It's all gone. I mean, I know the show isn't interested in the plots other than the main character pairing but this felt so wrong. If they wanted a lesbian lead, the just make another show with original characters why force this? I'm not looking forward to Francescas season at all. I'm sure a lot of people will like it and that's their prerogative but for me, personally, the only thing keeping the story moving forward is Benedict. Maybe Eloise. But I feel like the story of the show has lost its charm and has dug itself into a hole like Disney or marvel

I’m going to try to be respectful as possible. As a lesbian, it’s deeply concerning and infuriating to me how so many people including ppl from the community have internalized misogyny and homophobia to queer women. Just because you support and don’t have an issue with queer male stories doesn’t mean you can’t be homophobic to queer female stories. Just because you’re bi doesn’t mean you can’t be homophobic. Why do you think majority of mlm stories are consumed by women? Why are the stories written and targeted towards women instead of the couple’s own community?

There’s an issue going on right now where many fans are okay and THRILLED with Benedict being bi and sleeping with a man, yet complaining about Francesca and Michaela— both have revealed that they have a potential to turn into queer stories. But no one’s batting an eye to Sophie being erased for Benedict’s potential gay partner. People are more okay with a lesbian Eloise than Francesca, and maybe because Eloise fits the stereotype more than Francesca. Why????

Maybe you need to reflect on why you’re feeling this way since you’re clearly favoring queer male stories over queer female stories. Why is a straight male character’s arc more important than a sapphic character who can go through the same arc and even MORE? Why are you okay with Benedict but not with Francesca? Why does Brimsley and Reynolds feel natural but Francesca and Michael is forced and pandering? Why is making sapphic representation pandering unless it’s based on stereotypes, but not gay representation?

This is Bridgerton. They made POCs part of the elites, it’s not historically accurate, the medicine and technology isn’t historically accurate. I see no reason why they won’t change the law at some point for it to be possible for a woman to inherit titles and estates. Even if they don’t go into that direction, I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more story to explore for a sapphic character.

There’s so many variants of Michael in other stories and media, he’s not special. But Michaela?? How many stories are there even in the mainstream media where we get a happy WLW couple that doesn’t end in tragedy? Literally 0. There’s no happy ending anywhere in popular media because Bury Your Gays is the default fate of every queer female story that gets even slightly popular. You say make a new show with sapphic characters yet 90% of the time they get cancelled after the first season and this is something we’ve been dealing with for decades and trying to call out.

So again, why is a straight couple’s story more important to you than a WLW couple who can offer a more unique, nuanced portrayal of yearning, desire, betrayal to one’s self, crisis of faith, even loss of identity and room to show politics in the Bridgerton world like how they did with Queen Charlotte— and make a bigger impact on how the public perceives queer women?

You’re uncomfortable with a queer female character changing what you know and are familiar with in the books— that she can’t possibly compare to what a male character can offer. It’s ironic how awfully similar that sounds to homophobes who can’t accept the existence of queer women in society because god forbid a woman can do what a man can for a woman, or even do better.

Don’t watch it if you don’t want to. The rest of us will feel valued and seen and enjoy it together when the season comes out while you distance yourself further from the sapphic community.

TLDR; Queerness makes the story richer than any straightness will.

[chefkids]

One thing about you, you never know how to hold yourself accountable for anything. It’s sad to see. And so if you’re being critical of Claire’s writing, why are you sending unnecessary hate towards her character, instead of being like hey, you know what, i’m not going to hate on this fictional character for existing this way and I’m going to discuss issues that I think exists within the writing. Focus on the writing then because Claire hasn’t done anything wrong within the narrative, but exist. The reason why people are fed up, is because it’s always YOU. It’s always you pushing misogyny in the direction of Claire. And you best believe that I do all of those things that I ask you to do. I’m not just preaching and not following what I’m saying. I also do believe Claire is written the way she is for a reason because I’ve come to that conclusion after I’ve listened to the podcasts and read the interviews. Your hate comes from Claire getting in the middle of Syd and Carmy and you refuse to acknowledge that. You may criticize Carmy, but that doesn’t mean your hate for Claire isn’t disproportionate and unwarranted in comparison. Also I am the first person to drag anyone who comes for Syd, no problem. And showing a tiktok where they say “thought daughter” (referring to someone who has a capacity to overthink or someone intelligent) instead “thot daughter” (another way to call someone a hoe) I mean really? Choose a better video, but yes, everytime I see Sydney hate or misogyny, I say something every damn time. I’m against misogyny towards ANY of these female characters and I stand on that. I’m not criticizing you without checking my individual behavior.

I think you need to go outside and maybe touch grass if you really getting this fed up over Claire, a fictional character, being called male-centered lmao. It's not always me, I see people posting against Claire all the time. A lot worse things actually. I'm apparently the only one relevant enough to rile up my block list to come to her defense though I guess. My "hate" (criticism) comes from her being flat out boring, only existing to further Carmy's plotline, and people just pretending like she herself hasn't done any questionable things in the series and like she's somehow the singular flawless human in that universe. Even if Sydney didn't exist, I would still find her to be an annoying character and centered around just being in a relationship with a man. The fact that Sydney does exists is what actually makes Claire a somewhat interesting character to me. Cause so much of her is just about being a knockoff Sydney for Carmy. If that's considered misogyny you write Chris & Co a letter with all your grievances.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/730572795212398592/what-is-up-with-all-the-trans-men-on-this-hellsite?source=share

As a trans man, I might have some insight into this one. I'm a lot older than the standard uwu sparkle anti, but I was in my mid twenties for the first wave of weirdness about trans boys on Tumblr about a decade ago, so I was just too old for it then, and I saw a lot of guys my age and a little younger get swept up in it.

OTNF rightly points out that young trans men are a particularily vulnerable demographic. This is part of it, but we're also a demographic that doesn't sit comfortably with our identites (gender identities or otherwise) and are told by everyone (on every side) that we are Doing It Wrong, that our existence harms others, and that we must be this specific way to be good people.

I'm sure you've seen the "trans men are better than real cis men" rhetoric. It's meant to be inclusive and to reassure us that we're not bad people just because of our gender, but it also denies us our entire gender identity.

So basically, you've got a bunch of young guys, most of whom were socialised like girls and learned to never be too assertive, many of whom are straight up suffering from dysphoria and stress, being told by people both within and outside of their communities that the are Wrong and Bad and Harmful just for existing. It makes sense that a lot of them would would find a movement based on moral posturing that will accept them if they perform correctly and will use their real name and pronouns. That's what Antis are; they say "use this vocabulary, send hate mail to that person, put these terms in your DNI, don't be caught reading that story", and, unlike other groups that police people's tastes and performance that hard, they're not overtly hostile to trans identities. So you can spout the right rhetoric, use the right tumblr icon, and they will actually accept you (on the surface, for a time, but we're talking about young and desperate people who aren't looking at the long game).

Helping them harass those badwrong horrible NOTP shippers or aces or middle aged women or some random artist who got caught drawing the wrong age gap or whoever is the fashionable target will prove that you aren't a horrible monster for being a man, you're moral and upright and correct.

And yes a lot of it is internalised misandry (that word has a lot of dumb baggage, but how else can I describe a boy who hates himself for being a boy?), or self-loathing born of dysphoria and just plain having to live in a world that's hostile to trans people.

Being an anti is a way out. It's a way to manufacture acceptence. And they're too young and too hurt to realise that that acceptance is as temporary and hostile as the people who accept them only if they pretend to be girls; the antis will turn on them the moment they start acting a little too manly or if they're caught liking the wrong ship.

(I've seen something similar happen to young cis queer guys and trans girls, too, but it isn't as pronounced since being raised as a boy means you probably already learned that standing up for yourself is ok sometimes)

--

I'm sure it also doesn't help that tumblr is absolutely full of BL/slash fandom. There's certainly plenty of gender diversity in these spaces, but it's inescapable that the majority of participants are women. So for a young, insecure guy trying to assert that he is a guy, it's easy to fall prey to "Waaaah, I need to reclaim my hobby for me!" gatekeepy nonsense.

Sure, it's going to be turned on nbs even harder than on cis women and will be used to misgender other trans men in the end and misogyny isn't cool anyway, but that's not what your average traumatized young fool is thinking when they first join up. They're thinking "I hurt."

TBH, though, probably the largest component is that all of us—all of us—have a mental image of a default human for a given context. It's rarely a trans man. And so anything a trans man does stands out and is A Thing Trans Men Do.

This is true even if you are trans. It is true even if you are not a transphobic dickhead. Unlearning the 'why girls are bad at math' xkcd strip is extraordinarily hard because recognizing patterns and having mental defaults is just how human brains work.

There are shittons of cis women who become antis, but they're just not notable in the same way.

Are trans men more vulnerable to becoming antis? It's possible, and the reasons you outlined above are likely why. I think it's an interesting question to discuss if we are specifically discussing why the trans men who do become antis do so.

But we don't actually have any hard facts to support that they are more prone to it than anybody else. My guess would be that vulnerable people are more likely to become antis, so any cis woman with a strong source of vulnerability like a shittastic home life is similarly vulnerable to a young trans man with no support network, but who knows.

Maybe only 5% of trans men on tumblr are antis and 50% of cis women. Maybe it's 90% of trans men and 20% of cis women. Maybe it's 1% and 1% and they're just all very loud.

We have no data. We just don't know.

And we will never be able to trust our own brains on this until trans vs. cis is such a nonissue that we don't even notice it.

[bellabrady]

Hey! I want to say absolutely no hate here, you can think whatever you want about characters, I just want to make some points for you to consider! If it makes you change your mind, cool! If it doesn’t, well that follow button doesn’t need my finger on it since we clearly have different views :)

I am not going to be commenting on Chim begins since I haven’t watched it in a while, but I just finished rewatching Hen Begins and was discussing Bobby Begins Again with someone, so here we go.

In Hen Begins, Tommy is never hostile towards her. He doesn’t defend her from the captain, but he’s also a young gay man who is probably terrified of that same hate being turned to him. When Hen is doing her speech on the fire truck most of the crew has tightened jaws and seems mad, but Tommy seems relaxed and thoughtful. And at the end of the episode he tells Hen: “We would’ve done a sweep of the area eventually, but eventually would’ve been too late. Good job.” with a smile and then proceeds to shake her hand and pat her on the shoulder. It is also heavily implied that he was one of the people who left a complaint about the captain and his treatment. Everything about this episode screams a man who was keeping his head low and trying to slip under the radar, not a man trying to be hateful.

In Bobby Begins Again, they throw him a nice going away party. I don’t know about you, but I don’t tend to buy assholes who are rude to me a cake.

Then later Chimney is able to call him up and ask a favor that Tommy does without complaint, which makes it seem like they’re on good terms.

And in the most recent episodes, he steals a helicopter and lies to higher-ups, something that could easily get him fired and cause him to lose everything. Once again, I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t risk my job and my life (they were on a dangerous mission after all) for people I’m not good friends with.

Lastly, Buck does not strike me as the type to date someone who doesn’t like his friends, his family

Again, no hate, just giving you my observations

thank you for being so nice about this!

i do disagree, however. tommy was 100% hostile to hen in hen begins. ('new york bitchiness is a compliment?' for example, or him throwing gear at her feet so she'll tidy it up and barely sparing her a glance)

i also am simply not a fan of giving characters' past actions depth when it's very clear that back then, they weren't written with that depth in mind. i can promise you the writers did not write hen begins & chimney begins while thinking of tommy as a gay, closeted man. (yes, i'm aware there was that one jacob twilight joke but personally i think you might be giving the writers a little too much credit if you think that was planned forshadowing or something. it was just a silly scene)

furthermore, even if we do run with the whole 'tommy was afraid to speak up because he was afraid and closeted'...standing up against misogyny and racism has nothing to do with being closeted, since neither of those things are related to sexuality, so standing up against those things won't make anyone assume that you're gay. tommy being closeted isn't an excuse, in my opinion.

i'm also aware that the characters have forgiven tommy but i just...don't really care about that because in this show, everyone forgives everyone, constantly. buck forgave his parents and they have a good relationship now — that doesn't mean i have to forgive the buckley parents now too.

as for your last point, i'd argue taylor definitely wasn't the biggest fan of buck's friends and family and they weren't a huge fan of her either. but i also don't think that really matters here, since it's been established that tommy is good with hen and chim, so buck has no reason to assume there's bad blood. it once again boils down to the simple fact that i, as a viewer, do not have to forgive a character's actions simply because other characters did.

anyway, once again thank you for not being rude about this and i hope you have a nice day :)

(i hope my response doesn't come across as rude either)

[mistystarshine]

Whenever a female character is widely hated, put the blame on misogyny. However, a good chunk of fans of specific works (with certain exceptions) are teen girls and women. Is it a case of internalized misogyny, then?

Somewhat, yes, but it's also a matter of attraction.

A great deal of fandom is shipping, and people tend to be more drawn to ships that they are attracted to. No, it's not the be-all end-all, yes, you can love characters and ships that you don't find attractive and dislike ones that you do, but it adds a MASSIVE boost. You are more likely to consider ships when you find one or more of the characters attractive. You are less likely if you do not.

I'll use myself as an example.

I don't give a shit about m/m pairings unless they have strong canonical chemistry that appeals to me (or it's a REALLY well written fic) because I'm a lesbian. It is harder to make them appeal to me because I don't get the attraction boost. I will read Adamsapple fics (with a note that I am picky about characterization) because I find the dynamic compelling. I don't mind Huskerdust, but have never once sought it out. Alastor is the major ship-launcher in this fandom, but I have not and will not read any fics that dedicate a significant amount of time toward Alastor shipping (or read Alastor-centric fics in general) because I can't comprehend how people find him hot and I find what we saw of him in canon deeply boring, so there is absolutely no appeal. M/F is honestly largely the same. Constrastingly, although I obviously gravitate toward things I already ship, I will give almost any f/f ship a shot if the fic seems well written. (With another note that I am picky about characterization.) Why? Because there is additional appeal there to make me willing to give the author the time to convince me.

(This is without even getting into smut, and I don't think I need to explain the importance of attraction there. All of the M/M or M/F smut that I've written was as a gift to a friend or because the narrative demanded it. And guess what? The f/f I've written (on a burner account that ya'll will never see) was way better.)

The majority of fandom is women. The majority of women are attracted to men. So guess what? Attractive male characters and m/m pairings get most of the attention. And guess what else? Female characters often get in the way of m/m ships, which provokes hate. Especially around younger fans who might not be experienced enough with narratives to be able to get a female love interest out of the way without demonizing them.

If you want me to say that female characters just aren't as well-written as men, it's not going to happen. There are PLENTY of male characters who are flat as cardboard yet get tons of adoring fans and fandom doing the work to flesh them out to hell and back. Just look at Hux in the Star Wars fandom. There are plenty of extremely well-written female characters who are ignored in favor of the most prominent bland hot man. And yeah, it's because they're hot. And maybe it's a bit of misogyny too, but... from what I've seen, a lot of attention comes from attraction, and when it comes to female characters, much of the hate comes from ship wars that people don't want to admit are ship wars. Plain and simple.

[weaponizedducks]

i think the hatred of katara is rooted in misogyny. people hate her because she isn't perfect and is emotional. subconciously they think women should be passive and perfect all the time. katara gets angry. she has flaws. anger is a huge part of her character. they mock her very real trauma of her mother because she brings it up 'too much' (and she doesn't even bring it up that much? she uses it to empathise mostly. she literally says it only a few times per season, and you know what if i saw my mother's burned corpse at the ripe old age of six i wouldn't shut up about it either). they love to uplift zuko (another character rooted in anger with more obvious flaws- and i'm not saying we shouldn't uplift him- we should, he's a great character) because he's a man and then bring down katara for being too emotional. mostly people dislike her because she goes against the typical standard of women. she's tough. she shows emotion. she's snappy. she's angry. yes she's annoying sometimes but she had every right to be.

[franollie]

do you personally think that fandom brings up misogyny unnecessarily and even when it has nothing to do with the issue at hand?

like some people get up and arms if you don’t ship batcat or brutalia (you’re not obligated to like anything for any reason) or if you ship bruce with someone else this topic will come up for whatever reason even though when there are actual instances of blatant misogyny in fandom and it’ll go fully ignored by these same people.

a point of bruce’s romance is to establish that he can’t really be endgame with any one person so i personally ship him freely. i don’t know why fandom is so obsessed with tokenizing certain shippers as certain prejudices when i’m sure that they genuinely have never interacted with said shipper one on one in their entire life

sorry for taking so long on this i have a LOT of thoughts on the topic

ok so in short: yes, i do think fandom loves to cry misogyny.

that being said, fandom operates in a blatantly misogynistic way (see how in large fandom favors men over women regardless of whether or not that man had more or less screen time than the woman). misogyny in fandom is a very real thing, but it is more a fandom as a whole problem than an individual problem. the only way the problem of misogyny in fandom can be solved is by actually engaging with the women in whatever franchise you're enjoying (writing for them, making art, reblogging art, writing metas, etc). show them the same amount of love that you show other characters

with that in mind, it is also important to note that sometimes you just don't gel with a ship or a character. i agree that people are drawn to certain dynamics and relationships, and you are allowed to ship what you ship. let's take the brutalia/batcat v bruharvey/batjokes because they are similar in dynamic (batman and one of his rogues). it wouldn't be fair to call a bruharvey or batjokes shipper a misogynist just because they don't ship brutalia or batcat. now, if they ship batjokes but hate talia for killing, then you could play the misogyny card. really it's just a matter of how you specific people interact with characters. i think a better example of this is superbat v clois.

i'm gonna try and stay as unbiased and objective as possible because superbat fans scare me lmao but a lot of the criticisms for superbat are about how it ships these characters at the expense of their relationships specifically with the women in their lives. to be even more specific, clark's relationship with lois. it isn't fair to say that "all superbat shippers are misogynist because they ignore lois" because i don't know why every superbat shipper ships superbat. maybe superbat is nostalgic to someone because they grew up reading justice league comics or the world's finest comics, maybe they haven't read or watched that much stuff with lois/clois in it, maybe they just think the idea of superbat is fun, who knows what the reasoning is. the problems really arise when they begin to change lois's personality and character to fit their ship whether it's by writing her as some bitchy ex of clarks or as a "girlboss who doesn't need a man and is superbat's biggest shipper uwu".

i do think when it comes to comic book fandoms in particualr there is another added layer of fandom superiority when it comes to shipping where there are the "correct" ships and the "incorrect" ships. but that's a whole other topic for another day

just to reiterate: fandom misogyny is a very real problem (look at the top 10 ships on ao3 for the past 5 years and that becomes abundantly clear) but the only way to combat it is by actually creating and sharing works positively featuring the women you like.

[not-goldy]

Absolutely true 😭😭

JM stans swear he's getting mistreated by the company and have no power to demand things but then draw a line when we say JK takes care of Jimin... LIKE HELLO ???

If you wanna fight for that, go and fight with Jimin first because it's not us who repeats 'protect me jungkook' a million times but Jimin himself.

Jimin KNOWS he's master of all that marital arts, JM knows to protect himself STILL he's asking his man to learn fighting, grow muscles and protect him. He completely surrenders to that man and doesn't have any problem being weak around him. So who's acting like Damsel in distress who needs her man to protect her ? Jimin himself lol

Jimin loves that safety he feels when JK around... all along being perfectly capable of doing it by himself too. Isn't that the most beautiful thing that you got someone you can trust your life with, even if you are enough on your own ? That he don't even need to worry about anything while joining a homophobic strict system because his man is with him ?

Or are yall just salty he got a man who's fully capable of protect and provide for him while you got none 💀💀🤔🤔

https://twitter.com/natsukoginko/status/1730044129759973595

Here, enjoy him worshipping his man.. 🥰🥰🥰

Istg if Jimin was Desi he would've observe fasting on special days and pray for the well-being and longevity of his husband... he gives the vibe of a perfect desi wife sorryyyy Goldy... my desi jkkrs will get it 😭😭

It's exhausting really

They can't tell the difference between "victimizing" Jimin and genuine moments of him being a victim.

Yes, people do victimize Jimin and treat him as a weak frail being who can't wipe his own ass and need people to do everything for him. They do take away his agency and capacity for making consensual choices at his big age.

But then again he is made victim of harrasment, stalking, homophobic slurs, death threats, misogyny, racism, Asian hate- he is a victim of all these at any point in this Fandom.

Imagine how foolish you have to be to allege when we express concerns of these real life threats to his person and mental health that we are victimizing him.

I'm starting to think some of these people don't even understand the words they throw around or even understand why we rant about certain things when we rant about them.

People are out here cussing him out wishing he's sexually abused and stabbed for being queer and androgynous in MS- do you know how many people experience these things in places like that on a daily?

How many times do we complain about violence towards queer and trans people- victimizing him- IF I GET MY HANDS ON THAT ANON

Also I got that Desi wife reference don't worry lol

It's giving traditional wife

[the-everqueen]

Definitely curious about the genderflip Sandman fic 👀

SAME. as in, this is only a concept on the back burner of my brain because i haven't really worked out a satisfying answer to the central q of the thing which is: what does a gender flip DO to these characters?

because here's the thing. i think 99.9% of the time a genderswap au is unnecessary and boring. (not to mention essentialist as hell.) boys have pussies, girls have dicks, people of all genders are intersex, etc. some of us notgirls and failguys just want to vicariously experience our fave getting his clit sucked or her prostate massaged. i personally hate fics that go "but what if these [cis] dudes were [cis] GIRLS" and then proceed to strip the characters of everything that makes them compelling, that makes THEM, because at that point you might as well just flesh out your OCs and maybe interrogate your internalized misogyny and transphobia while you're at it.

anyways.

in the case of sandman, i am (transparently, obviously) curious about what happens if the Corinthian is not designed to be (read as) a man. in the comix, he very much embodies the fears and risks associated with gayness in the 90s (the AIDS epidemic, the dual violence of the closet and/or being outed, the culture around cruising, intersections of race and class with queerness in U.S. urban areas, etc). in the show that's subtly shifted to be a broader umbrella of queerness as well as a very 21st century anxiety around surveillance/public vs private that also taps into a cultural fascination with serial killers. in both cases, him reading as white, middle-aged U.S. man is a CRUCIAL part of what he signifies. he looks like (and takes advantage of being) someone with a lot of social privilege, across multiple categories. no one is going to question why he's in a fancy hotel, a conference room, a seedy bar, a suburb. OBVIOUSLY that changes if any one of these categories changes. i'm thinking about how and also what that means.

(the dreaming spinoff comix tried to do a Thing with a female Corinthian: while Coco spends a year as a real boy, a trans woman named Echo takes his place in the Dreaming. the spinoff handles Echo...really poorly. [i wrote a whole paragraph here trying to distill her arc but it's tangential to this post so suffice to say: it was Bad.] Echo is posed as this "femme fatale" type because i guess if the Corinthian is a woman, she'd also have to be sexy and alluring to the (heterosexist) male gaze. imho this was a cop-out, but then again...what about that spinoff wasn't.)

on some level i'm not sure the Corinthian could ever be anything besides the Corinthian, if that makes sense. as in, if you change anything about him, maybe then he ceases to be the Corinthian and becomes something else entirely. Dream can take different forms (and Overture has a femme!Dream) because stories can take different forms across cultures and times and species. but the Corinthian is intrinsically tied up in humanity and its biomythic nature. and what we think of as Human, as Sylvia Wynter reminds us, is very much tied up in narratives around identity including race, gender, and class.

at the same time my id absolutely wants a butch lesbian Corinthian who uses he/him pronouns. mostly because lesbian and wlw sex STILL gets dismissed or sanitized or erased or pathologized, even though queer women remain subject to state, police, and domestic violence at higher rates than their straight and/or cis counterparts. (also yes i'm counting my trans hermanas y primas, t*rfs can fuck right off.) but also because i'm a fagdyke with religious trauma who relates very hard to god's failed masterpiece.