#yes i need therapy

[whoisspence]

i'd let you investigate me, agent reid

[moon13dreams]

I've been having thoughts about SVSSS and why I love and adore it so much. Past the complex characters, the story, the art, the fics, the fandom, and memes, there was something that pulled me in to read it for the first time and then re-read it so many times after that I couldn't quite articulate until I really thought about it.

Deep down, Scum Villain makes me feel... seen.

Luo Binghe speaks to the hurt optimist turned pessimist with fears of abandonment (that I staunchly ignore) and the worshipful, all encompassing love that I desire, but will never see in my partner (not to that degree at least).

Shen Jiu speaks to the bitter, angry, petty pain and spite I harbor from years of disappointment and resentment from those I once trusted and the ironic loyal-to-a-fault tendencies I still have despite it all.

Shen Yuan validates my constant imposter syndrome, fumbling around with the best of intentions, but not really seeing the full picture and just making up things as I go to just survive.

Shang Qinghua speaks to the tired chameleon that I tend to be in real life that seeks refuge behind a pen-name and self-indulgent stories of worlds and lives I would rather live through than my own reality.

I could go on and on, but suffice it to say, Scum Villain makes a lot of the worst, most guilty, ugly, and self-destructive parts of myself feel seen. And it makes all of those broken pieces feel accepted where they wouldn't be anywhere else. Where they never have been before. That no matter how negatively I view myself, there is always the littlest scrap of hope if only I'm open enough to see it.

I love SVSSS. Perhaps one day, I could learn to love these broken pieces of myself, too.

[jinchaeji]

Do you have any theories/headcanons about other Edwin's punishments in Hell?

He did say that he was traded between 2 demons and something worse than a demon.

It seems kinda unrealistic that having 3 "owners" would get you only one type of punishment

my hc is that one of these punishments involved snakes seeing as he was frozen after getting Becky from the cupboard in Esther's home

[withlove-esme]

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE IT THROUGH ANOTHER WEEK AFTER THE FOURTH PJO EPISODE LIKE ????? YOU CANT FINISH IT LIKE THAT, GIVE ME MORE AAARRRGHHHHHHH

[flumphmatingritualsexpert]

i did a bad thing

[no-te-lo-voy-a-dar]

im just,,so tired these days, i need to see my work and effort have results, i need to be able of feeling proud over myself, but I wasn't even taught to, it's just one thing over to the next thing, I'm tired of trying to start taking care of my mom alone when her husband doesn't i want to actually be able of using my money for myself not pitching in for things that need fixing on this house that my father let crumble

I don't even know if this house will belong to my siblings and I over time

i want trinkets, and posters, and not feel like my whole life fits in half a room because I get panicky over having to choose if I can even fit a cute lamp somewhere on the space that's supposedly mine, I want to be able of having a proper desk, a proper chair that doesn't fuck up my back I want to have a speaker for music and be able of playing it without worrying I'll make someone mad for not listening to them, I don't want to have to pick between a lab test and a tastier meal for that week, I don't want to have to choose if walking back home is worth the dehydration than spending more money on bottled water and arriving home to arguments

im just so incredibly tired, of my chest aching for comfort of a kind I don't think I'll ever get, of a kind of peace in life I see other friends achieve and while I'm happy for them not being able of getting rid of the ugly feeling of jealousy and the desperate crying of "why not me?"

Im Safe, and I don't even have the energy to do that, because I don't want my handful of friends to go through that kind of loss, but I just want to matter enough for just being, knowing that if something happened to me the care I receive is not conditional and that it doesn't make me feel like a burden like when my mom was taking care of me post top surgery and her and my dad argued a lot over her "spending so much time" taking care of me?

i want to leave the guilt I feel over being an awful sibling to my two younger ones, I u feel I never protected them as I should, and that we are clashing so much rn due the requirements of living with our parents that I'm still not doing good by them, that I'm hurting then just as badly, but I'm tired and frustrated and I just don't want to talk in general to anyone for a couple of days irl but o can't because I live with people and there's the good times of course, and nice details but it feels we're playing house, not even family, just playing house and I just, want to sob my soul out but I don't even have a space to do that

[fivekrystalpetals]

you know, in stories, sometimes we have a scene where a character is narrating their experiences (already known to the readers) to another character who was not present during the incident and so to avoid repetition, we might have a short time skip. in manga style, we usually have a small black empty panel or two to indicate this.

for Break, we measure with--

--the speed at which he wipes clean the desserts on the table.

by the time Oz finishes narrating his experiences in Cheshire's domain, Break has finished 11 plates of small cakes. He could have spent around 2-5 minutes on each,,, so Oz must have taken anywhere from 22 to 55 minutes to finish his story, which seems pretty accurate.

[jammofsammichflip]

The Love I Want

Brought to you by: Misery Meat - Sodikken

Sometimes it's hard describing how I want to be loved out loud (like I tried with my irl friend) so hear I go attempting to describe it through the written word.

Contrary to the theme of the cited song - giving the entirety of yourself even if it hurts/is literally killing you out of love for someone who takes and only received without giving back - I'd love to be loved in the way that you(my lover) feel the inherent need to consume my flesh or my being.

I am pretty against cannibalism unless it's absolutely necessary, and I absolutely don't condone abuse; but id love to be the provider of your life.

I love the idea of being so in love with someone that I feel comfortable enough to literally make them the center of my universe. Wholeheartedly.

This would entail bowing on my hands and knees at random, feet kissing (only if they're clean), absolutely worshipping the ground my lover walks on. Hell that be a privilege and a half to do imo.

I would eat so many nails from the random coffin everyone keeps talking about if me and my lovers first interactions were just actual hatred which was actually us expressing our love through moderate acts of violence and then gets uncovered and revealed as a twisted view of affection. (Love at first punch trope)(Enemies to lovers trope)

I want someone to love me enough to let me joke about dissecting and scrutinizing them and studying their body for reasons (the reasons are actually so ambiguous, also it's just an intrusive thoughts that I have from time to time)

[pepper-salt]

Currently watching Ride The Cyclone for the fifteenth time, and I'm never sick of it. I personally relate to Jane Doe.

[voxnetwork]

Something about Valentinos 'Good Boy' in the poison remix has me weak at the knees.

[not-active-694202901]

1000 ways to screw up your life: An Autobiography

#7: Fall in love with a straight girl... The second you meet her...and be really obvi about it...

[whoisspence]

something i thought of while getting ice cream:

[nuclear-towns]

I've written up an Alice in Borderland OC but it's been ages since I've actually RP'd properly so I'm hesitant ;_; but the thought is there eeee

[formulino]

got selected for a job interview..... but now im having an anxiety attack

[iesbiandisaster]

Me buying yet another selfship commission of me and Jason knowing damn well I need to move money into my savings

[cristalia25]

So this a dream/nightmare i had today (24.02.24 when im posting this) and it was fuck up as hell so I'm gonna post it to everyone to see/read so here it goes.

So basically the beginning part is i was in some boy's perspective and both his sister and him were uninfected, but their parents were so lucky dad was the worst one out of the two he had a 3/4 faces melted/ripped off and was deformed (body horror style) and the mum was like the main source of the infection and was controlled (i presume bc she didn't act like there mum [i wasn't even sure but my mind/gut just saying that wasn't her but i didn't know bc i know nothing about this world]). She had like growths all over and the thing was like where are you and most of the dream was boy and girl running away and hiding from it and they had tongue whips (IDK THATS WHAT THE WHIPS LOOK LIKE) and used those to swing by and be in the attic part of the house/mansion (it was HUGE like the ceiling was 10~ meters high or something) and then it started to start at the beginning and repeat that all i remember