#yes i know i'm a horrible nerd

[surveysaysx]

So, if you change “love” to “glove” in the ALW song “Love Changes Everything” it turns into a song about dueling.

Glove, glove changes everything: hands and faces, earth and sky. Glove, glove changes everything: how you live and how you die. Glove can make the summer fly or a night seem like a lifetime. Yes, glove, glove changes everything: now I tremble at your name. Nothing in the world will ever be the same.

Glove, glove changes everything: days are longer, words mean more. Glove, glove changes everything: pain is deeper than before. Glove will turn your world around, and that world will last for ever. Yes, glove, glove changes everything: brings you glory, brings you shame. Nothing in the world will ever be the same.

Off into the world we go, planning futures, shaping years. Glove bursts in, and suddenly all our wisdom disappears. Glove makes fools of everyone: all the rules we make are broken. Yes, glove, glove changes everyone: live or perish in its flame. Glove will never never let you be the same.

[ashwhowrites]

Hi, love your work and can’t wait to see what you do with this. Eddie/reader. Reader is Chrissy’s best friend since childhood. She’s not popular, is more of a nerd and is always overlooked, used or ignored for Chrissy. A school event is coming up and Eddie, who has always seen her, wants to ask her out. Reader gets confused and thinks he wants to ask Chrissy out and wants her help. She’s super insecure. Can Eddie show her his true intentions in time.

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting🫶🏻

Not her, you

Y/N loved having Chrissy as her best friend. She was a sweet girl who'd do anything for Y/N and Y/N would do the same for her. The only struggle she faced was living in Chrissy's shadow.

Y/N wasn't in the same crowd as Chrissy and they were only best friends because they met as children. Chrissy got popular and Y/N wasn't meant to be. She was a nerd, she liked nerdy things and didn't find an interest in sports or clubs.

It was a common occurrence for people to use Y/N to get to Chrissy. Y/N was positive that every guy that has ever talked to her, was interested in getting to Chrissy. Which sucked and knocked Y/N's confidence down to hell but she wasn't going to dread it. Plus Y/N was too shy to have a boyfriend anyway, she'd never go for a guy like she liked. And well no guys liked her.

At least that's what she believes. Unknown to her, Eddie has spent the last two weeks trying to get himself to talk to her. A school carnival was coming up and he wanted to ask her to go with him. He knew he shouldn't be scared. She was nice and shy, it wasn't like she would scream in his face and laugh about it with her friends. But the thought of rejection held him back.

Before he knew it the carnival was happening tomorrow and tonight was his last chance. Chrissy was throwing a party and Eddie knew Y/N would be there. He hoped with liquid courage he could get the damn question out of his head and out his mouth.

~

Y/N grabbed more beers from the garage and set them on the table. The party was loud but luckily mostly everyone was outside. A few loners inside and a few couples who disappeared down the halls.

Y/N kept to herself during the parties. Chrissy often got busy with everyone but always checked in on her. Y/N wasn't much of a partier but she'd never say no to Chrissy.

"Y/N, right?"

Y/N jumped as a voice came from behind her. She held her hand over her chest and turned around. She smiled when she saw Eddie standing there, a red cup in his hand.

"Yes, and Eddie?" She asked to clarify, even though she knew exactly who he was. He was a pretty boy with long hair and a perfect smile. He nodded and she smiled.

"So awesome party, huh?" Eddie asked, cringing at how stupid he sounded. Y/N lightly laughed.

"Um yeah. Not really my scene but it's not horrible," Y/N shrugged

"Yeah, I get that. I'm not well liked so parties aren't my thing," Eddie lightly laughed. He reached behind her to grab a beer. Y/N felt her body stiffen from having him so close to her.

"I wanted to ask you something about the carnival tomorrow," Eddie said, he took a deep breath. He prepared to say it all. Her eyes were waiting for him to continue and he got nervous. The alcohol was wearing off faster than he wanted. He opened his mouth and-

"Are you and Chrissy going?"

He wanted to smack himself

"We are, kinda like a girls' night out," she said with a smile

"Oh that's a bummer, I mean! Good for you guys. Friendship is important. I know it's kinda like a date and couple spot, you know? Maybe it can be a date" Eddie ranted. He blabbed when he was nervous and boy was he nervous.

"I mean I could probably talk to her and rearrange things," Y/N smiled. "If you were interested, I mean. We can have many other girl nights."

Eddie beamed happily, smiling, "Yeah, that would be great. I wrote down my number in hopes I would get this far."

Y/N laughed and accepted the piece of paper.

"It was nice talking to you," Y/N smiled. Eddie waited until she was out of sight before he pumped his fist in victory.

Y/N walked outside in search of Chrissy. She found the pretty blonde standing alone.

"Hey, got something for you," Y/N said, handing the paper over to her. Chrissy smiled and took the paper.

"What's this?" Chrissy asked as she read the number

"Eddie Munson's number. He wants to take you to the carnival on a date. I promise I'm cool with it." Y/N explained.

"Well, I'm not! You've had a crush on him for months. I'm not going on a date with him," Chrissy scoffed.

"Chris, he was so happy when I said I'd rearrange things. Who cares if I have a crush on him. If he likes you, my crush is pointless." Y/N shrugged

"It's not pointless. And I'm not going on this date."

~

The next morning Eddie was beaming with excitement. He was waiting on the phone for hours, waiting for her to call to talk about the details of the date.

When the phone rang, he was fast to answer it on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey Eddie, It's Chrissy,"

"Oh hi, what's up?" Eddie asked. He was confused as to why Chrissy would be calling him and how she got his number.

"I'm sorry but I can't go on a date with you tonight," Chrissy said, she felt horrible. She was never good at telling people no.

"Date? What date?" Eddie asked, the longer the conversation went on the more confused he became.

"At the carnival? Y/N gave me your number last night at the party," Chrissy explained

"Oh, um, I actually was trying to ask her out. My number was meant for her,"

"That's amazing!" Chrissy squealed, "Grab a pen, I'm giving you her number."

~

Y/N twirled in front of the mirror, terrified for her date.

"You don't have to be nervous! He likes you," Chrissy said as she placed a comforting hand on Y/N's shoulder.

"But what if doesn't once we are alone together? We've never truly talked. Maybe he'll hate my personality."

"He's going to love your personality! There is nothing to dislike about you,"

Y/N tried to believe her words and tried to boost her confidence as she heard a call pull up. She walked over to her window and saw Eddie walking towards her front door.

"Take a deep breath and have fun," Chrissy said before she sent Y/N out the door.

~

Y/N already was feeling comfortable around Eddie as they arrived at the carnival. She didn't dress up too much but still put a little effort into her appearance. With the amount of compliments Eddie gave her when she opened the door, she felt as if she did a good job.

They walked around the carnival, stopping at a few stands to play games.

"How are you so good at this?" Eddie laughed

He tossed the basketball and it smacked the rim and bounced at him. Y/N smiled as she easily made basket after basket.

"No idea, I don't even do sports," Y/N laughed

"WINNER WINNER!"

The loud alarm blared as the worker reached up and grabbed a small stuffed bear. She smiled as she grabbed it. Her smile grew bigger as she handed the bear to Eddie.

"Isn't the guy supposed to win a prize for the girl?" Eddie joked, but more than happy to take the bear with a smile

"Maybe if he was good at basketball," Y/N teased

Eddie laughed and shoved her shoulder. "Next stand, I'm creaming your ass."

~

After a few hours of winning prizes and spending most of their money, they made their way to the parking lot.

"Want any yet?" Eddie asked as he held his bucket of cotton candy

"Sure," Y/N said as they made it to his van. She went to reach for a piece when Eddie grabbed a piece and fed it to her. She blushed as she leaned in and ate the piece of cotton candy from his fingers.

She felt nervous at how close their faces were. She swallowed the candy but didn't move away. He stared into her eyes, loving the way the moon shined on her.

She gulped as he began to lean in. He closed his eyes and she followed his lead. They moved closer until their lips met. Y/N felt her stomach erupt in butterflies as his lips moved against hers. He moved his right hand to cup her face as his left held the candy.

She wasn't sure what to do but she moved her hands to lay flat on his stomach as she lost herself in the kiss. He tasted of cotton candy and his lips were soft.

She waited until he began to pull away before she did. She kept her hands on his stomach as she opened her eyes and met his brown ones.

They stared at each other for a few seconds. Then Eddie smiled and walked around to open the door for her. She smiled and got into the van. Her fingers touched her lips softly as he closed the door and headed to the driver's side.

The ride was full of laughter and easy conversation. She couldn't remember why she was nervous in the first place. Everything with him felt right and they clicked well.

She felt a little bummed that the night was over as he pulled back into her driveway.

"I had a lot of fun. Thank you," she said. Her voice was so quiet that Eddie barely heard her.

"Thank you for saying yes," he said with a smile, turning to face her. She opened the door but before she got out, she leaned over and softly touched his chin. She slowly leaned in and pressed her lips against his. It felt even better than the first one.

She pulled away leaving him wanting more.

"Goodnight, Eddie," she got out of the car and closed the door. Eddie was fast to get out of his van and follow her up to her door.

"Can we do this again, sometime?" He asked, she turned around to look at him.

"Absolutely"

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlxt @ineedmentalhelp123

[steddie-as-they-come]

Steve's pinning his polaroids up on his wall when his new roommate walks in.

Steve's immediate thought is oh, I'm gonna hate this guy.

Shaggy hair, leather jacket, rings glinting off his fingers, electric guitar slung over his back. Hot as hell, but compared to Steve's polos and perfectly coiffed hair, they could not be more different.

The guy looks like he had the same thought. His shoulders slump as he takes in Steve's appearance.

A man comes in behind his roommate, toting a suitcase full of clothes. "Oh, are you Eddie's roommate?" he says to Steve, who shakes himself out of his thoughts.

"Yes, I am." he says politely. "I'm Steve Harrington."

The man sets down the suitcase. "Wayne Munson." he offers, shaking Steve's hand. "I'm Eddie's uncle."

He nudges Eddie forward, who lets out an almost inaudible groan. "Eddie." he says snippily, shaking Steve's hand.

This'll be a fun year, Steve thinks.

They don't talk. Steve didn't think he was going to be best friends with whoever he got saddled with, but he thought they could at least be civil to each other. Their room is split down the middle. Eddie's half is absolutely covered in posters and music and cutouts of magazines. Steve's is...almost as blank as his room back home.

He misses the shitheads.

No one can ever tell them that. They'll get even more insufferable.

Once or twice, when Steve comes back from a class, he'll catch Eddie peering at Steve's pictures, but he’ll jump away before Steve can call him out on it. It's awful. Steve misses Robin.

It takes him a horribly long amount of time to stop flinching awake at every little sound. He'd stored his nailbat under his bed, out of sight of Eddie, but every time someone yells in the hallway or shouts in the room next door, Steve startles awake, already grabbing his bat. Luckily, Eddie sleeps like the dead, because Steve's not sure he'd be able to explain the weapon without breaking his NDA.

It's three A.M., early November, when there's a knock on their door. Steve isn't asleep yet, so he stands and answers it.

Eight people pile in, talking in hushed whispers. They slam into him, knocking him over.

In the middle of the hug, Steve counts his kids. It's Dustin, nestled against his side, then Lucas, El, and Will under his arm, Max draped over his back, Erica leaning into his shoulder, and Mike on the very outskirts of the group. He pulls them all in tighter, and they all yelp and squawk at him.

"Let us go, Steve!" Erica says, annoyed.

"Nope." Steve says. "You came to find me at three in the morning, you can tolerate a hug."

"Shoo, move." another voice says, and all the kids part like the sea. Robin pushes her way through the group and hugs him tightly. "I don't know how you do it." she says to Steve. "Driving all these nerds around, it's exhausting."

He buries his face in her hair. "Missed you, Robbie." he mumbles.

She leans her head against his. "Missed you too, dingus."

Steve pulls back. "You got your license!"

"I did!" Robin jingles her keys happily.

Eddie sits up, and everyone in the room freezes. "Wha's happenin'?" he slurs sleepily. Then he registers all the people in the room. "Whoa, what the fuck?"

Steve stands up, brushing himself off. "I'm sorry, man, I didn't know they were coming." He shoots a glare at the group, who looks appropriately cowed. Minus Dustin. Steve can now see whose idea this was.

Eddie swings out of bed. "No, it's- wait, are these the kids from your polaroids?"

"Yeah," Steve says. "Dustin, Mike, Lucas, Will, El, Max, Erica, and this is my best friend Robin."

"Awww, you have polaroids of us?" Max teases over his shoulder. "That's sweet."

Steve reaches behind him and tussles her hair, shoving her gently. "Shut up, shithead."

"Your room is cool." Mike says. "Not Steve's side. But this part is cool!"

Steve glares at Mike, but Eddie grins big. "Thanks! I'm Eddie Munson." He shakes Mike's hand.

"Is that a DnD poster?" Will says. "That's amazing!"

"It certainly is!" Eddie says. "I used to DM back in high school. Played a bit too."

The nerdier section of the group reacts appropriately, oohing and ahhing, while Max and Erica just roll their eyes and nudge each other.

Steve hesitates. “I know these guys don’t really do anything on Saturday afternoons, and I think they’ve been wanting to start another campaign. Would you mind if they come up, maybe every weekend, and you can…” he doesn’t know enough about DnD “…run a game for them?”

Eddie looks amused. “You mean DM a campaign?”

“Yeah, that.” It’s an olive branch that Steve’s offering.

Eddie takes it. “Well, how can I turn that down? Sheepies of the Harrington flock, how would you like to join a new campaign?”

“I’ll keep the rest of you occupied,” Steve mutters as the guys (and El) start talking excitedly. “Max, Rob, you guys wanna find the closest arcade and set some new high scores?”

“Only one person will be setting high scores.” Max says, gesturing to herself, but she looks excited at the prospect.

Steve lets Eddie and the kids talk for a couple more minutes, then claps his hands. “Okay, it is three in the morning and I have a nine A.M. class tomorrow SO! I have enough blankets for all of you to sleep on the floor if Eddie doesn’t mind-“ Eddie shrugs. “Or Rob can drive you back home.”

Steve looks around and Robin is already in his bed, cuddled up like the blanket hog she is. “Okay, well, sleepover here it is then.”

He whisks out his ungodly amount of throw blankets (courtesy of Joyce’s knitting spree) and the kids get together in their usual movie-night-at-Steve’s cuddle position.

Will’s got his head on Mike’s shoulder, Lucas next to Mike, Max leaning on Lucas, El’s head in Max’s lap and her legs thrown over Dustin’s lap, and Erica with her back against Dustin’s shoulder. Sometimes Robin and Steve are wedged into the pile somewhere, but just as often they’re tangled up under six different blankets across the room, which is why Steve whispers “Scoot over, dumbass,” as he climbs into bed next to Robin.

Eddie watches them assume their positions with an expression of what could be awe on his face. “When I saw those pictures,” he whispered, “I thought they were like your siblings? Or maybe old pictures of your friends. I didn’t think you were a soccer mom.”

Steve glares at him, but unlike earlier in the year, there’s no heat behind it. “Hope you like coparenting then, because these guys need to be watched 24/7 or they’ll run off and start the apocalypse.”

Eddie laughs like it’s a joke. To him it is. He hops back into bed. “Goodnight, weird little family.”

The kids murmur a collective sleepy goodnight, and Steve shuts his eyes.

It’s the most relaxed he’s felt since he moved in.

part two!

[ronearoundblindly]

Not In Front of the Fish...

Jake Jensen x roommate!Reader follow up to Watch the Fish (see previous or JJ Masterlist)

Summary: You've caught Jake doing something he shouldn't, but there's no reason you can't string him along...and along...and along until the line snaps.

Warnings for smut (many references to masturbation, protected sex), horrible puns (yes, hello, I'm Ro, welcome!), heavy innuendo, trolling this poor boi as hard as humanly possible, taking the lord's name in so much vain, kinda *aggressive* foreplay, aftercare, fluff, and whipped!Jake (deserves a warning because I sure as sh*t wasn't prepared 🫠).

Blame @bigtreefest...or thank Essie, ya know, whatevs! No beta, we die drowning in the fish tank. MINORS DNI. And yes, @whiskeytangofoxtrot555, the glasses stay on 🤭 Y'all may not realize this but I myself am an ultra-awkward nerd, so I identify with Jake's struggle and yet would absolutely, endlessly tease this mothaf**ka.

"Hey, Jakey. Whatcha doing?"

Well, thank fuck he's not still hard standing there with his metaphorical dick out, the last image from your laptop's screen seared into his eyeballs of some woman taking a load in her open mouth.

"Need me--" you steadily lick vanilla ice cream off a spoon, some caught at the corner of your wide open lips "--for anything?"

He stares. He stares so intently he almost falls over. Apparently, he's leaned into his staring.

"My help, perhaps?"

Your tongue rolls across the edge of the refilled spoon.

He thinks maybe he'll cry if you keep this up, but for the love of Christ, please keep this up.

"No," he squeaks. "Just..." Must you be wearing short-shorts? Is it essential that your tank top dip so low? "...saying 'hi.'"

His hand flings out in a wave, five fingers managing to point in eight different directions because he can't commit to any sort of normal human movement.

"So... Hi."

Some ice cream drips off the spoon down your chin and to your chest.

Jake is not here right now. Jake has died.

"Sure." You wipe up your mess and keep eating. "Sweet dreams, big guy. You look ready to hit the sack after a long...satisfying...shower." You let the spoon dangle from your mouth while brushing past him, which you have to do. You have to touch him because Jake can't fucking move for the life of him, and he swears to god you made your hand sweep across the front of his hip.

He jolts to follow the contact before overwriting his hind brain. His hand slaps the wall as he catches himself trying before collapsing into a begging puddle at your feet.

He should tell you. He'd rather die.

He should admit what he's done, admit what he wants to do, but when he stops pinching his eyes shut for strength, Jake turns to find you bent over in the doorway.

"Hello, sweethearts," you coo to the fish, "what would you like to do this evening? Maybe watch another movie?"

You wiggle your butt and make this happy sort of popping noise that Jake can't unhear.

Fuck, is this a thing he's gonna have to deal with now? Listening to you watching porn? His mind instinctively scans your room for a glimpse of any toy you may have left out. He's dying, yeah, but dying to know what they look like, if he's bigger than whatever you bury inside you now.

"Jake," you repeat in a breathy way that has him swallowing his tongue. You've stood back up, holding a bowl with oozing white liquid that teeters close to the edge as it melts.

His dick could top that off in jiffy if you'd like.

He coughs. "Yeah, uh, what?"

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

Fuck me, every muscle, bone, and braincell in his body screams at once.

All he manages is an anatomically-correct impression of a fish. No sound comes up from his desperate lungs. He flees to his room.

He hears you shut your door just as he shoves down the shorts he threw on and grabs a squirt of lotion from the bottle nearby.

Too many images speed through his brain all at once, cum and cream, sex and porn, your open mouth, your presented ass, that peek of cheek beneath soft fabric, the shadow along the seam where the material ran right through your folds--probably, at least, he's filling in gaps wherever he pleases--and the breathy sounds of 'Jakey' 'need me' 'help you' 'satisfying,' and 'anything.'

"Fuck me," he growls out in earnest, sparing no trick to get himself off as fast as possible. Maybe if he's quick he won't learn exactly how hot he finds all this. He already relies on you as the voice in his head.

It's like you're right there on the floor with him, cupping his balls and whispering in his ear.

So hard for me, huh? So heavy and in need of attention. Why did you wait to fuck your fist, Jakey? Had to hear me? Think of this dick filling me better than any toy...

He gasps and groans, shoving his face into the nearest side of mattress to muffle the carnal sound.

It puts his ear right next to his discarded headphones.

"Daddy was so rude just then, huh? I know. He's shy. He'll come see you tomorrow. He just needs to be all alone in his bed when he's tired. I know, I know. It makes mommy sad, too. She doesn't like to be all alone, but that's why I have you. Look at the camera and wish daddy goodnight..."

Oh, fuuuuuuuuck me, Jake wails into his sheets when he hears the sound of you blowing a kiss through the speakers.

Poor thing doesn't know you're torturing him on purpose, but at least he came...with his bare knees aching on the hardwood floor of his room and the nosepiece of his glasses digging into his eye sockets as he buries his shame in his bed.

You suggest he have the fish in his room for a while, like shared custody, but then he knows you would have access to listen to him via the livestream.

If he tells you you have to mute it every time, you'll know he might not have. If he refuses to keep the feed up or the camera functioning, you'll be suspicious of why. If he says fucking anything against your very thoughtful and adorable idea, it'll be a cold day in hell since he will endure all forms of torture just to see your elated smile as the tank is finally setup between his closet and his bed across the room from his desk.

The keystrokes from his work are too faint for the camera's microphone, and he proceeds to wear headphones for music, take calls outside, and never touch himself in his own room for weeks. Ok fine, two, he makes it two weeks.

Deprived of hearing you, which he grew rather dependent on, and needing to inconspicuously lengthen his showers, Jake is a mess.

Why didn't he record anything? Why would he??? He was supposed to get himself together like a man and either ask you out or get the fuck over it.

He even watches (but mostly listens to) porn through his headphones without touching himself in an attempt to fade the memory, but then you show up at his door, asking to visit with the 'kiddos' and checking with the Marauders if 'daddy' is treating them well.

He's not gonna make it, man.

You settle on his bed to read for a while because why the fuck would he say 'no' to you, and this is the part that does Jake in the most: his sheets smell like you after and turning in his desk chair to find you accidentally asleep in his bed just... He can't.

He's unwell thinking about how sweet you are, how fucking horrible he's being by fantasizing about you this way, how if he just had the balls to crawl over to kiss you, he'd--but he doesn't. He just gets worse.

He gets real messed up horny one evening when you're out at some fancy event with friends.

You leave wearing this dress that practically had him on his knees the way it molded to you and yet draped so smoothly in places. He thinks of his mouth molded to you that closely and his body laying so smoothly over yours.

Damn it. He has to do something. He goes into your room, and it's not that bad, he just picks up a t-shirt, that's all. He's not the world's worst perv or anything. It's not underwear, for god's sake, but on a fluke (because he has no idea how long he was in there) he climaxes at the sound of you yelling 'I'm home' from the kitchen and scrambles to the bathroom with his gym shorts wrapped around his thighs, hand still catching spurts of cum as he for sure doesn't calm down, with milliseconds to spare.

Thank fucking god you're slower to climb the stairs in heels.

He takes it back. He is the world's worst perv.

Your t-shirt mysteriously disappears until he can sneak it back into your laundry.

He runs out of floss and absently searches your drawer for--oh my god.

OH. MY GOD.

That...is a large, veiny dildo you have there. Oh fuck.

Jake slams the drawer shut without thinking.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, just...just gotta put floss on the grocery list."

"Use some of mine," you call out casually.

"It's fine!" His voice was too high and he answered too fast, but if he's not mistaken, you have now invited him to poke around in your things.

He feels slightly less pervy...and a hell of a lot hornier.

It reaches a point where coming in the shower isn't enough.

He falls asleep ok but wakes restless and craving friction. There's want and then there's need, and Jake fucking needs this or he'll never rest.

He goes on as quietly as possible, thinking that getting up, going to the bathroom, and turning on the exhaust fan will make far more noise than humping his sheets and biting his pillow.

The fish tank glows as usual at the foot of his bed.

Look away, kids, Jake thinks and immediately doesn't know whether to be sick or laugh. Daddy is gonna fucking die like this.

He knows it's pathetic. The entire thing has been pathetic from start to finish, but he's just too tired and too het up to care.

A few whines escape the insulation of his pillowcase. He misses the gentle patter of footsteps down the hall.

There's a soft knock followed by "Jake?"

God damn it. The one time he gives in, and he's already ruined it.

He tucks himself up into the band of his boxers which is not exactly subtle but can't be helped. Jake rolls out of his bed, finding his glasses in the dark to crack open the door with his body strategically behind it.

"Yeah, what's up?"

He can't make out a whole lot in the low light, but you don't say anything. Your arms are spread out to hang on either side of the frame, making your (again) very low-cut tank top his only focal point.

Well now he's sorta worried this has absolutely fuck-all to do with his problem. "Are you okay?"

"I...I thought..."

Your voice is soft and timid. It makes Jake want to wrap you in his arms, but he's still worried that you'll say you heard him and it's not okay and he's gross and this is all way, way out of line.

He holds his breath to better listen.

"I hoped you would have needed me by now."

What. Air rushes out of him like he's been tackled.

Sorry, WHAT?

"What?" the question finally falls out as he leans intensely again, shifting so the door doesn't slam in your face, his bare chest and lower half now visible as much as they can be. "You...what now??"

Your arms fall and you step forward. It looks to him like you move with trepidation, that your head is lowered in embarrassment, that somehow you're shy about your confession. Maybe you are, but only the tiniest amount compared to him.

"Tell me if I'm wrong, Jake." You slap one hand to his chest with a crinkling noise, and he swiftly moves to take the wrapped condom. "Tell me if you don't want this," you continue, lowering your voice and hand until your thumb grazes the exposed head of his cock.

Lightning strikes and super-charges his need.

"But if you don't th--"

He'll be damned if you finish that thought. Jake scoops your jaw into one big hand, angling you just-so, barreling you both into his door as it swings into his closet with a wobbling bang. He's clumsy and his grip goes everywhere to bully you flush with his body yet not drop your timely offering.

His kisses are feverish and sloppy. By the feel of you groping at his back and shoulders, you're not mad about it. He fumbles with the wrapper behind your back. It takes his attention away for a few seconds.

"I prepped for you," you whisper hoarsely. "I'm ready."

Jake has no legs at that point and takes you with him in a heap to the floor. While stripping away his boxers, he realizes his naked ass is high in the air of his room.

All he can see in his mind is fish pressed against the glass, staring, judging. Gah, not here.

He maneuvers into your hold again and says, "hang on," crawling to the hall runner so the 'children' won't see. No, he can't make it any further because his length is snuggled between your fucking thighs and somehow the hallway is a fucking mile long to your room. No, he's not immune to your whines from where your head is tucked in the crease of his neck.

Here's fine.

As gracefully as he can, Jake collapses onto you, collecting the noises he missed so much directly from the source.

For being made of such little fabric, your shorts are in his way, and he's genuinely annoyed to have to lift from you again, even though it's necessary to discard them and necessary to get the now-open condom rolled along his aching cock.

His glasses are already smeared from haphazardly exploring your skin. If Jake couldn't see before, he's all but blind now. The only garment close enough to try and clean them is your tank top, but he ignores it because it's still dark. He needs to feel you more than anything else in the world.

Lightly, your fingertips flicker down his abs and lead him to close the gap between you.

Jake groans as he lines himself up and easily notches into your welcoming heat. As aroused as you are, he still edges himself deeper and deeper in barely-controlled strokes, grabbing the railing at his side for leverage and stability.

He grunts instead of articulating how magnificent you feel. He moans instead of voicing what an utter blessing it is to finally fuck you. He gasps with the rolls of your hips because you taking control while beneath him just...unravels him.

This was too long coming, and he wasn't prepared.

Jake's apology for being fast to finish perches at the tip of his tongue when you cut off his words and the last of circulation to his brain.

You shake and pant, mewling 'yes' and his name, while your body squeezes him like a vice. He's being pumped to completion without moving another muscle, and, good fucking god, he has to hang on, falling to his forearm, keeping his open mouth hovering over yours.

Jake thinks maybe he just drowned and got brought back to life.

Right there, in his face are your precariously covered tits, nipples rock hard and taunting him. He doesn't care what his dick's doing anymore; he wrenches a strap down your chest and lavishes your plush flesh with attention.

Too long coming and in no way prepared... Neither were you.

Your hands brace his head, fingers buried in his short hair as you wiggle and hump at his semi-stiff cock inside you. Jake hisses in over-stimulation but doesn't stop you. He swears he will never, ever stop you.

His attentions on your breasts slow but he can't seem to let you go for a long time, long after your legs fall away from him, limp and twitching.

A pair of goodbye pecks is his parting gift before Jake nuzzles up the column of your neck and takes what little breath you've regained, curling his arms around you as his tongue curls with yours.

When he adjusts again, he realizes how sore he's getting from kneeling on the floor, and sits up to help you, too.

"Let me get--I'll just--"

Jake can almost reach a towel inside the bathroom from this position with his long arms, but he's sure to warm up the tap and trash the condom before returning to gently wipe you. He may have made a quick pass at his lenses in there as well.

You look dazed and delightfully sated, basking in the streak of light from the bathroom, leaning on your palms like you're on a beach somewhere.

"Fuck, you're stunning," he says without thought.

He...lingers a while to clean you up, overtly mapping these bits of you he hasn't seen yet.

"What took you so long?"

Jake tosses the towel up into the sink behind him and manhandles you into his arms.

"I might've ruined everything." He starts to lower you into your bed, but you don't release your arms from around his neck. "You could've kicked me out."

He's not going to argue. He won't say 'no' to you.

"Come here, you dork. You can't keep me waiting anymore."

Jake climbs into the cramped, cozy space with you, mentally noting that a bigger bed is definitely on the shopping list.

A/N: I am strategically leaving out my thoughts on the next morning for now because I'm just too excited, eeeee!

[Next part: Feed The Fish]

[demilypyro]

Okay since this doesn't seem to want to go away here's me addressing every single "allegation" that I've heard about. I hope to have at least given a good explanation where the horrible things being said about me came from, and why I consider them either just totally not true or badly misconstrued. Some of my friends have recommended I don't say anything at all, but I've always preferred openness and honesty, so I hope that's appreciated.

I understand that some people will still dislike me even though the things being said about me are not true. That's fine. I don't need everyone to like me, but it's when I'm being consistently harassed and lied about that it interferes with my mental health and ability to work. So I'm gonna try and end things with this.

"She's racist"

From what I can tell this is about one time when I said I keep my interest in anime to myself around new people. I do this because showing you're a Huge Fucking Nerd right off the bat can make a bad impression. I could have said the same thing about Star Trek or comic books, I just happened to be talking about anime in that moment. Someone seems to have misconstrued this as me finding Japanese culture something shameful and lesser than other cultures?... Which I would call a total willful misinterpretation. The rest of this seems to stem just from being Dutch, because the Netherlands is a country that has a problem with xenophobia. This is true, but uhhh I'm mixed myself so I'm pretty well aware of that, and I obviously don't support our infamous "blackface holiday." Just because I live here doesn't mean I agree with everything this country does, be that historically or in the modern day.

"She's friends with racists/misogynists/transphobes"

The only thing I can guess this is about is when I was mutuals with a user called porko-rosso at least 5 years ago and didn't really believe it when people told me they were a bigot. I haven't interacted with this user in over 4 years but people still claim we're like best friends, which was never true in the first place, we just knew a lot of the same people. Most of the resentment from the people who repeatedly spread these rumours about me seems to have started here. So for the record: no, I am not friends with any racists, misogynists or transphobes.

"She thinks she's better than other trans women because she passes better"

This is just not true. This idea seems to pop up just whenever I post about enjoying the benefits of HRT or surgery, but most recently this was misconstrued from a post where I said being trans is about being yourself as much as possible. Since this was in response to someone saying that me trying to pass is "erasing my identity", people thought I meant trying to pass is the same as being good at being trans, which was not what I meant, but some people didn't seem to want to believe me when I clarified. My apologies for the misunderstanding I guess, but that's all it was. So no, I do not hate people who don't pass as well as I do, nor do I think all trans people should be transitioning medically, and I resent the implication.

"She has a secret discord server where she makes fun of pictures of other trans women and calls them slurs"

I had absolutely no clue what this was about when I first heard it. I was sent screenshots that supposedly prove this but all they show is me being rude about someone's appearance one time in january of 2022. I actually thought these were faked because I don't remember this happening and the things said confused me, but one of my friends says she found it was in her server, where she had showed a picture of someone and asked everyone present (mostly other trans women) if they were hot. Apparently I did not think they were hot. So yes, I did insult someone's appearance back in january 2022, but it was an isolated incident. Frankly even I find my remarks in these screenshots distasteful, I don't know what I was on when I wrote that stuff. I'm sorry to that person specifically. What I said has weighed heavily on me and I apologize for it. It's not something I approve of, and don't intend to repeat that mistake. Still, to say it means I hate trans women and I love to make fun of them in my secret discord server and call them slurs is just... a super-villain level of exaggeration. I didn't even know about the word that was named as an example. It's not true.

"She's often rude"

I can't deny this one. Autism gonna autism. I've seen many therapists, doctors, experts, what have you, to try and help me with this, but it seems my particular brand of autistic in combination with the cultural differences between mine and other countries just really often ends with my foot in my mouth when I speak English. I apologize! I have never meant to personally offend anyone. It just keeps happening and I can't stop it from happening.

If after reading all this, you still consider me bad enough to hate my guts, I can't stop you, but I wanted to have at least had my say. I swear that everything in this post is the honest truth as I understand it, and that I've never acted with purposeful malicious intent.

[will80sbyers]

I always write these letters in the middle of the night because it's the only moment when I think I'll have enough courage to send them to you, but then the morning comes and I feel completely powerless again.

I'm not as brave as I would like to be, I want to be like my character in d&d and just... I don't know, just tell you how I feel even if I think it's the scariest thing I will ever do. I mean, what if I am wrong and you don't feel the same? Or worse what if you find me revolting for being like this? What if you don't want to be my friend anymore because I have these feelings? It would be one of my worst nightmares becoming a reality... I just, I can't lose you, Will. I need you and I miss you so much and I don't even know what I did to make you decide to not talk to me anymore and avoid my calls every time but this whole situation is killing me slowly. I need to talk to you and I want to hear your voice. It's crazy how much I miss listening to you ramble about a new comic or a bad movie... I miss watching you randomly break out into songs, even when you're singing the most annoying ones. I miss having you close and just knowing that if I need your advice, or if I want to complain about some stupid thing my father said I can just take a bike ride to your house at any moment.

It feels so empty here now, I feel so empty... I'm, I dunno, I think the others have not noticed because everybody has their own problems, but I feel lost... You were always my compass, you put my mind on the right track every time and I never realized this before you left for Lenora but now I see it... and I don't know, it feels like everything is broken now and.. how am I even supposed to be a leader of a group with no group?

Everybody is pulling away from me here, except maybe Dustin... Lucas is trying to become popular, sometimes I think he's ashamed of being with us because we're still the same nerds we always were, and Max is dealing with her own pain by isolating, I'm trying to include her on the hangouts nights (yes, even if her and Lucas are broken up!) but she always says she's busy. If you and El were still here things would be different.

Jesus... El... I don't know what to do about her, I don't know how to tell her about all of these feelings I have for you and the realization I had this summer. I don't want to lose her either and I'm afraid she'll be angry at me.

I feel guilty for the fact that every night before I fall asleep I think about you. I think about you laying down in bed and I hope you're thinking about me too. I think about what I would do if you were here with me, how I would ask if I can kiss you... and I guess maybe I'm a horrible person all around for this but sometimes I just kiss you. You know, I wonder how it would feel every night... I think it must be different from what I'm used to, kissing a guy... less sweet? More rough? It doesn't really seem possible, I can't imagine kissing you wouldn't be the sweetest kiss I'll ever have... God, I'm sorry I don't have the courage to tell you how much I love you...

I'll tear this letter apart like I did to all the others.

Byler week - Day two: communicating

[lempeeartz]

Tell me - BKDK oneshot

(spoilers for recent manga stuff btw)

~

Izuku let out a weary sigh as the last of his students left the classroom, leaving him alone with his thoughts. It was finally the end of the day.

He stood behind the lectern, head now in his hands as he recalled a conversation from three days before.

—

“It hurts to stay and I'm sorry I couldn't be the one you wanted.”

“I'm really sorry—“

“Bye, Izuku.”

—

Izuku still felt so terrible for what happened. It was such a messy situation, and he felt so guilty. His partner had broken up with him and he hadn't been able to not think about it.

He hadn't really been sleeping either, and being a teacher now on top of everything was so stressful. He was always busy. Being tired wasn't an option, but he didn't have much of a choice.

Izuku was a horrible person.

What kind of guy gets into a relationship when he has feelings for someone else?

He's so stupid. Of course things would've ended up this way. And the thing keeping him up at night wasn't even the breakup. He didn't really care that his partner was gone. He just felt bad for being a dick, but he didn't miss them. Not really anyway.

Izuku stared around the empty classroom.

Ugh, he needed to focus on other things. He should probably be on his way home.

“You okay, nerd?”

“Kacchan!”

The sudden voice made Izuku jump out of his skin. He caught some papers that almost hit the floor and gently placed them back on the lectern. “I hadn't, um, expected you!”

Katsuki raised his eyebrow, clearly now suspecting something. “I was in the neighborhood, figured I'd stop by.”

“Of course! Right..” Izuku watched the other in the doorway. Katsuki was in his hero costume, presumably because his shift was soon. Why was he here again??

Katsuki strolled into the room “What's got your panties in a twist? You're so skittish and weird. Or, you know what, that definitely sounds normal, nevermind.”

“Yes, how original, Kacchan.” Izuku deadpanned.

Rolling his eyes, Katsuki leaned against the lectern. “Spit it out. Something is obviously up with you.”

Katsuki waited for a few moments before Izuku reluctantly sighed.

“I kind of got.. broken up with.”

The blonde’s expression faded into a softer concern. “Oh.. Damn. Sorry to hear that.”

Izuku waved his hands around, “No, no, I'm fine. Really! Don't get all sappy on me, haha.”

“I ain't being sappy, I'm just saying that sucks. Being dumped and all. Been there.”

Katsuki had said it so nonchalantly but Izuku’s ears perked up instantly.

“Wait what?? YOU were dumped???”

“Shit, wait–”

“I didn't know you were dumped! How did it happen? When did it happen? Why didn't you tell me? Kacchan–”

“If you shut your trap, maybe I'll tell you.”

Izuku's voice immediately cut off as his eyes widened in suspense.

Sighing heavily, Katsuki gruffly said, “I had a small thing in our last year of UA. It was brief. That's why you didn't know about it. It was really nothing.” He crossed his arms, not really making eye contact.

“But it sounds like you got broken up with– did it hurt?”

“Nah, it wasn't really serious. I'm fine, though. It's been a while.”

Izuku didn't want to pry more, because it felt so insensitive but.. it was a while ago. “Um, who was it?”

“Nosy little fuck, aren't you?”

“It's been a few years! I figured it was fine to ask!”

Katsuki smiled amusingly, “Fine. It was mind freak.”

“SHINSO???”

“JESUS– WHY DON'T YOU SCREAM IT LOUDER?”

Izuku clasped a hand over his mouth, muffling his apology before whispering, “Shinso?? That's random, isn't it?”

“Eh,” Shrugging his shoulders, Katsuki added, “I kinda just wanted to see what it was like dating a guy. I guess I kinda used him. Not for anything physical, though, I ain't a fucking asshole.”

“I see..”

Izuku was surprised by who Katsuki picked. Shinso’s, like, the furthest thing from who he could've imagined. Maybe it kind of makes sense though.. huh. Wait–

“You're into guys?”

Tilting his head towards Izuku, Katsuki observed him carefully before responding. “Yeah. I am.”

Izuku looked away from Katsuki’s intense gaze, “Oh. Um, same.”

There were a few quiet moments before Katsuki broke the silence.

“Yeah, you look gay.”

“Alright, that's enough of that.” Izuku rolled his eyes and got his belongings together. “Shouldn't you be going on your shift now?”

“I have some time left.”

Izuku glanced up at Katsuki’s teasing smirk and felt his heart speed up. He quickly averted his gaze. “Uh, I should probably be on my way, though. Gotta catch the train, right?”

Making his way around Katsuki, Izuku began to walk towards the doorway, turning slightly to wave goodbye at him.

Before he could make it down the corridor, though, Izuku heard Katsuki call him from a few ways behind.

“Hold up!”

Pausing, Izuku turned, “Hm? Kacchan, what's up?”

Coming to a stop, Katsuki scratched the back of his neck, “I just wanted to ask if you've been eating. You know, since the break up and all that.”

“Oh! Uh, occasionally? I've been a bit too busy to really cook or anything..”

“Geez, why do you suck at even taking care of yourself? You're a mess.”

“Wow, thanks? Sorry we're not all perfect like you, Kacchan.”

“Seriously, don't skip meals. I get that you're ‘fine’ but that's insane.”

“Did you just come down here to lecture me? Honestly, when you act like this it makes me wonder why I even like–” Izuku stumbled over his words when he realized what he was about to say, “Um like, you know?”

Wow, nice save.

“Like what?”

Izuku could feel his face reddening with every second that passed. “Like? I didn't say like, I said… Mike.”

Narrowing his eyes, Katsuki clicked his tongue. “Mike. Really?”

Izuku scoffed, “Yes, really.”

Katsuki moved closer, closing the gap between them. “Bullshit. You're a terrible liar, Izuku.”

“K-Kacchan..” He gulped lamely, “You're a bit close.” Izuku could feel Katsuki’s breath against his face, he was way too close..

“Am I? Guess you'll have to tell me what you were really gonna say to get me to back off.”

Izuku’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates at this point. Holy shit was this really happening??

“I… might've said that I can't believe I like.. you. Like, like you. Like, I really, really like you. Like, I like like you. I should probably stop saying like now–”

Before Izuku knew it, he felt Katsuki’s lips pressed against his own, soft but firm. But just as quick as it happened, it was over.

“That was sort of to shut you up, not gonna lie.”

Izuku snorted, “Yeah I probably needed that..”

Katsuki smiled genuinely as he put his hand on Izuku’s face, feeling the flustered warmth, and then wiping at Izuku’s watery eyes, “Christ, I think I almost killed you.”

The two chuckled as Izuku sniffled, tears now streaming down his face. He'd been going through so many emotions recently that now it was just pouring out of him. His heart throbbed in guilt.

“I just feel so regretful that I didn't tell you sooner. If I had, I wouldn’t have gotten with my partner— ex— in the first place! Maybe I wouldn’t have hurt their feelings.” Izuku hiccuped tearfully.

“Hey, it's gonna be okay.” Katsuki kissed Izuku’s freckled nose. “It would’ve been worse if they stayed with you. They saved their own ass from even more pain. And yeah, you were kinda stupid. But you told me your feelings now, and that's really all that matters, right?.. Then again, I probably should've said something too. Maybe we're both stupid.”

Hugging Katsuki tightly, Izuku let out a watery laugh. He began to feel like maybe things would finally be okay now.

(Little did Izuku know, the next day Katsuki surprised him with his new hero suit and Izuku sobbed up an entire ocean once again)

[leclerc-s]

the unhinged younger brother

series masterlist

SEPTEMBER 2019

rhys jones YOU WROTE A SONG FOR SID? WHERE'S THE SONG FOR ME?

mae jones you don't deserve one pipsqueak.

daphne jones listen to the song first rhys, then we can talk.

rhys jones WHY IS THE SONG GOING TO CHANGE HOW I FEEL?

mae jones please just listen to the song.

5 MINUTES LATER

rhys jones well now i feel like an a-hole.

rhys jones please give max my apologies and a happy birthday.

rhys jones do not tell anyone that i cried.

OCTOBER 2019

rhys jones must you add him?

daphne jones rhys, we’re engaged now. he's going to be a jones.

mae jones you have to be nice to him rhys.

rhys jones i'm 10, i don't have to do anything.

mae jones remider, stop using the voice to text, we know you're a horrible writer, you're 10.

rhys jones i'm telling mom!

daphne jones added one person

rhys jones WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! THIS IS TREASON!

daniel ricciardo still as dramatic as ever i see

rhys jones your a bully. i'm 10. daniel ricciardo *you're rhys jones this is why they replaced you with pierre... daphne jones RHYS! daniel ricciardo i left the team rhys jones yeah, for renault. who does that?

mae jones this may have been a mistake

rhys jones a mistake was daph dumping tom hiddleston for daniel... daniel ricciardo stay pressed pint size.

JANUARY 2020

rhys jones can i fight the entire internet? can i?

mae jones no, you can't buddy.

rhys jones it's not fair. not again.

daphne jones you were a baby in 2016, you have no memories of that time.

rhys jones the internet exists daphne! i have seen everything!

daphne jones well now i'm telling mom to restrict your time on the internet.

rhys jones you can't protect me forever!

daniel ricciardo we can fucking try stinker!

rhys jones it's not fair. it's not nice. it's not cool.

daniel ricciardo the internet is never kind kiddo.

mae jones just ignore it, it'll go away after a few weeks

rhys jones what if it doesn't?

mae jones you ignore it. this isn't something you should concern yourself with. they're my problems, i'll handle it.

rhys jones how can i ignore it when they're tell you to go kill yourself? all for falling in love? it's not fair.

mae jones rhys. please. i'll deal with it.

rhys jones fine.

daniel ricciardo and now he's pissed. great.

rhys jones not mad at her. mad at the internet. bunch of poopy-brains.

MAY 2020

rhys jones mclaren? you're moving to mclaren?

daniel ricciardo yes? rhys jones why? daniel ricciardo because? rhys jones big mistake. mark my words.

daphne jones please leave him alone.

rhys jones he agreed to this when he asked you to marry him!

rhys jones mistake because he's driving with a younger driver again! this is why you left red bull!

daniel ricciardo how do you know that?

rhys jones I WATCHED DRIVE TO SURVIVE NERD! daniel ricciardo keep him away from drive to survive.

rhys jones never! how else will i be able to make fun of you?

daniel ricciardo here's a thought? maybe don't?

rhys jones no. you agreed to this. to be apart of this family. these are the consequences of your actions

daniel ricciardo eh, your sister is worth dealing with you.

rhys jones ew gross. love.

SEPTEMBER 2021

rhys jones still don't like you but CONGRATS ON THE MONZA WIN BIG STINK!

daniel ricciardo THANKS LITTLE STINK!

mae jones they definitely like each other. they have nicknames for each other.

rhys jones I DO NOT! (i still think mclaren is a mistake) BUT CONGRATS!

daphne jones just admit you like him and we'll let this go.

rhys jones i don't like him!

daniel ricciardo you so like me little stink.

rhys jones i tolerate you at best.

daniel ricciardo nah, you totally like me.

rhys jones I DO NOT!

DECEMBER 2021

rhys jones SOMEONE ADD SID! I HAVE TO CONGRATULATE HIM

mae jones added one person

max verstappen what the fuck?

rhys jones CONGRATS SID VERSTAPPEN! WORLD CHAMPION!

rhys jones i still hate you for breaking my sister's heart BUT CONGRATS!

max verstappen thanks?

rhys jones TAKE THE COMPLIMENT SID!

daniel ricciardo okay little stink, calm down.

max verstappen i did timon

daniel ricciardo timon?

max verstappen he calls me sid, i call him timon. like from the lion king.

daniel ricciardo i know where it's from max!

rhys jones he's not the one with the broken childhood.

daphne jones okay, you've spent way too much time with ryan. i'm cutting you off.

rhys jones NO! IT'S NOT FAIR! I'M HAVING A GOOD TIME AND YOU PUSH IT AWAY!

max verstappen ENOUGH WITH THE INCHIDENT JOKES! I ALREADY HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT FROM THE OTHER NERDS NOW YOU TOO?

rhys jones WORLD CHAMPIONS HAVE NO SAY IN THE GROUP CHAT!

AUGUST 2022

rhys jones i hate to be the one to say it...

daniel ricciardo go ahead.

rhys jones FUCK MCLAREN! daphne jones RHYS! mae jones RHYS! daniel ricciardo not where i thought this conversation was going to go.

rhys jones HE GAVE ME PERMISSION!

daniel ricciardo i thought you were going to say i told you so...

max verstappen glad we agree on something. come back to red bull nerd.

rhys jones yeah! i'll get rid of checo for you.

max verstappen woah. let's not resort to murder rhys jones pfft. who said anything about murder? i meant kidnapping. mae jones that's not any better buddy.

daphne jones please stay away from ryan.

rhys jones this is your fault because you told me to audition for his movie!

APRIL 2023

rhys jones YOU BOOGERS GOT MARRIED? WITHOUT ME THERE? HOW COULD YOU?

mae jones I'M SORRY! IT JUST HAPPENED!

rhys jones I'M STEALING YOUR CATS!

max verstappen LEAVE MY CHILDREN OUT OF THIS RHYS!

rhys jones I SWEAR TO GOD VERSTAPPEN IF YOU DO TO MY SISTER WHAT OUR DAD DID TO OUR MOM I WILL END YOU!

max verstappen i would never do that. ever. i love her too much to do that.

rhys jones good. would hate to murder the current world champion.

max verstappen did daniel also get threatened or was it just me?

rhys jones i plead the fifth...

daniel jones-ricciardo he threatened to cut my nutsack off

daphne jones-ricciardo RHYS!

rhys jones i didn't do it! i want nieces and nephews daph! i want to be a cool uncle!

max verstappen yeah, according to lando, lewis is set to be the cool uncle.

rhys jones great i lost the title to some guy who’s not even related to us. is this what lewis felt after abu dhabi 2021?

max verstappen oh you’ve got jokes now?

rhys jones i’m available all year!

AUGUST 2023

rhys jones i'm not panicking. i don't like him. BUT IS HE OKAY?

daniel jones-ricciardo i'm okay! max jones-verstappen a few broken bones but yeah, he's fine.

rhys jones you know, watching that happen live is much worse than people think it is.

rhys jones WHAT DO YOU MEAN BROKEN BONES?!

daniel jones-ricciardo i'll be fine, nothing surgery can't fix. i'll be out for a little while but i'll probably be back by texas.

mae jones-verstappen realistically, that's the race that's more important to danny

rhys jones does this mean you'll go back to being a trophy husband?

daniel jones-ricciardo yes.

daphne jones-ricciardo great, someone can babysit rhys for mom.

rhys jones oh great. i get stuck with him?

rhys jones AND I'M 14! I DON'T NEED A BABYSITTER!

max jones-verstappen we watched you grow up timon, you need a babysitter.

mae jones-verstappen just last week, you tried jumping off the roof of sophie's house because lando dared, you need a babysitter

daphne jones-ricciardo HE DID WHAT?

rhys jones I AM PERCY JACKSON! I AM INVINCIBLE!

daphne jones-ricciardo RHYS WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU! YOU IDIOT YOU COULD'VE BEEN HURT!

daniel jones-ricciardo at least i would've had a friend in the hospital with me.

daphne jones-ricciardo you two idiots are lucky i love you and i'm in mexico city or i would've hurt you both

rhys jones defeats the whole purpose of keeping me safe no?

max jones-verstappen glad to know that even in the face of certain death rhys still has his sass.

rhys jones i am persassy!

OCTOBER 2023

rhys jones someone tell charles that i'll be personally throttling everyone at the FIA headquarters.

rhys jones this is bull-crap.

max jones-verstappen i will gladly pass the message along rhys.

daniel jones-ricciardo glad to know someone agrees with me

mae jones-verstappen we ride at dawn.

daphne jones-ricciardo well glad to know we're all in agreement the group chat is currently in flames.

rhys jones if i had a nickel for everytime carlos sainz got handed a podium after a dsq, i'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.

rhys jones it's me and my sword against the FIA

max jones-verstappen your sword isn't real rhys.

rhys jones it is because i say so.

rhys jones say that again and i'll steal your cats. i swear it max.

max jones-verstappen LEAVE MY CHILDREN OUT OF THIS TIMON!

AN INTERVIEW WITH RYAN REYNOLDS AND RHYS JONES

comments

user my brain refuses to believe that this boy is related to daphne.

↳ user daphne wrote the lyrics, "i’ll tell them you’re gay" in the og picture to burn. are you really having a hard time believing they're related?

↳ user ngl, that completely flew over my head.

user love this kid. he’s great.

user knowing that ryan basically watched this kid grow up and decided yup, he can play the younger version of me in a movie is something so special to me.

user i don't know what's funnier that dig at griffin or that dig at max?

↳ user definitely the one at griffin.

user daphne and mae not letting him meet charles or seb is so funny, she knows he's about to reign chaos on the paddock.

↳ user let him meet isabella and lando and it's over for them.

user he's a tifosi? max must be so upset

↳ user why would he? he's not dating mae anymore

↳ user it's a joke, watch the video and you'll see he made a similar joke

user did ryan just call max mae's boyfriend? are they back together?

↳ user i think it was more as an umbrella term. rhys jokes about griffin too

↳ user i got my hopes up for nothing.

user love how rhys doesn't even mention griffin and everyone assumes that stingy joke was about him.

↳ user well, he did only joke about mae's boyfriends. safe to assume that joke was about him.

↳ user personally i always saw george russell as stingy, but that's just me.

user i love this kid, best choice to play a young ryan reynolds. get this kid to play him in deadpool 3.

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @applopie @lorarri @mypage-myfandoms @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @cowboylikemets1989 @justtprachisblog @rmeddar123 @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @Mimolovescookies @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @prongsvault @kaa212 @anxxiousaries @julesbabey1 @julesbabey @georgeparisole @Smnthnclj

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

¡leclerc-s speaks! i'm adding to the jones sisters lore! this was mostly because i watched the pjo show and i loved walker's performance in the adam project with ryan. i also just wanted to give max and daniel someone who constantly bickered with them, hence the little brother for mae and daphne. this part needed to come out before the fruitcake part because i did mention rhys there and i didn't want anyone to be confused on who he was.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[rypnami]

Durmstrang Gang

i made these OCs about a year and a half ago for a discord server roleplay group, but i kinda abandonded them as i moved on to other projects. i want to use them again, so have some basic facts! if you remember them you are entitled to a Char Besties Club Ticket!

Cassian Peverell

Half brother of my oc Jack. Same dad (horrible man iykyk), different mum. He was the favoured son because he sort of embodied all the pureblood sterotypes that the Peverell family value, whilst Jack is the opposite in every way.

After it was discovered he is a bastard he was sent to Durmstrang to preserve his father's image and keep him out of the picture. He deeply resents his father and is now a recovering pureblood supremacist. He is in Atticus house, although once transferring to Hogwarts he is a Slytherin with his brother. His patronus is an adder.

General appearance- black curls, ice blue eyes, snake bites, lots of piercings, snake tattoo on his neck, sleeve of tattoos on left arm, tall. wears lots of rings and necklaces.

get in line ladies and gents, he's single and ready to mingle

Elias Ahlberg

Elias is a Swede, and comes from one of the oldest pureblood families in all of Sweden. Yes, I made up an entire Swedish pureblood society for ONE random character for RP purposes. I'm fine.

He's a sweetie and loves art. His partner is @mamalunawolf 's Cirilla, and they met when he and Ziven came to Hogwarts over Christmas to surprise Cass. One of the more open-minded of the boys, as in Sweden there is not so much emphasis on who has what blood, unlike in the UK where it's sooo important if you're pure, half, muggleborn etc.

He is in Terpsichora house, but if he attended Hogwarts he would have been a Hufflepuff. Patronus - golden retriever

General appearance- long, strawberry blonde/light ginger hair, brown eyes, slightly tannish skin, moles, tall, gangly

Ziven Karkaroff

JOCK JOCK JOCK. Buff man. Dumb as rocks. Still adorable. If Quidditch was allowed at Durmstrang, he'd be a Beater, and a damn good one. He's got an extra-thick skull that's good for taking bludgers probably.

He was raised in a similar way to Cassian, in the sense that he should know that he's better than everyone for being a pureblood and that he's superior in every way. Luckily for us, he has, as I said, a thick skull, and those ideals didn't really sink in. He genuinely just... doesn't understand WHY one's blood status should mean anything. Good for him! Ziv is a nice guy if you can get through that very, very, VERY thick exterior. A bit stoic and on the surface DOES look like one of those people that would bully you from your lunch money and drinks the blood of non-Slavics for fun. He would never, though.

He is in Concinne house, would be a Gryffindor if he was at Hogwarts. Patronus - Saint Bernard

General appearance- black hair, cropped close, hazel eyes, BUFF AS HELLLLL, very tall, tattoo of hippogriff on his chest (iykyk), wears a karakroff crest signet ring

he's with one of @girl-named-matty 's ocs (but idk if you still use her waaahh)

Nikolai Krum

The nerd of the group. He is fascinated with the mysteries of the universe and in an au that takes place in a different time period HE would have been the first man in space or died trying. probably died. he's got claustrophobia as well, so you can see why his ambition to travel through space would be conflicting with that...

GAYYY, likes to write and map the stars. Plot twist: despite the fact that Durmstrang ONLY accepts purebloods, Nik is, DUN DUN DUNNNN a halfblood. His parents lied about his blood status so he could attend, and it's only by technicality anyway (his mother comes from a long line of purebloods, but because one time like 2 generations ago one of them married a muggle, for some reason that's not good enough??).

He is in Terpsichora with Elias, but if at Hogwarts he would have definitely been a Ravenclaw. Patronus - Blackbirdl

General appearance - Black hair, green eyes, freckles, short, wide shoulders but slut waist, always painting his nails either black or dark purple. earrings

He's single too, gentlemen hehe.

None of them have in-game models, as none of the presets actually fit how i imagine them. one day, though, i shall draw them

[ppumeonae-bigvibe]

alley-oop

↖ navigation: ateez masterlist || main masterlist 

pairing: san x gn! reader

↬ tags: cold x warm trope!, i really think i let loose on this one (my inner delusions are surfacing the more i type and before i knew it i birthed this very piece from my author-ussy, !

summary: san chuckles in acknowledgement, "it is my wish for you to see me in the nationals, but now that i won, i want sunbae to grant me another wish."

word count: 3.2 k words

a/n: i realized that what i see and read greatly influences the things i write...the increase in thriller and action kdrama has certainly been a big reason why my well has been dry lately—

also -> alley oop - a high pass caught by a leaping teammate who tries to dunk the ball before landing.

— 8 months before

"choi san, you need to get your grades up in the upcoming semester, or i'm not going to be able to let you compete in the upcoming basketball nationals at the end of the year."

his eyes widened at his coach's announcement.

"get your overall rank up to top quarter of your cohort. i've put you into the list of players, but your name will be removed if you don't improve."

"but, coach-nim!"

"our members have to balance both the club activities and school work, and i expect more from you because you are our team's stellar player. do you hear me?"

biting back an array of complaints, he hung his head in shame and accepted his fate. he knew that his grades weren't great and assumed if he kept playing well (he was good at it after all), his coach would overlook the horrible C and D grades.

"i know you can do it."

top quarter? he needs to be the top 25% of his cohort??

"yes, coach-nim."

the only problem now was to find someone who could tutor him.

— 8 months before

"and...yeah that was what happened. coach-nim pulled me out of extra b-ball practices. but who is going to want to tutor me?" san grumbles, listlessly swirling his noodles with a flick of his chopsticks.

"i know someone who could tutor you. all the subjects." wooyoung casually mentions over lunch and san jerks up, raising an eyebrow at his friend, "wait...you are serious?" wooyoung nods his head, mouth full of noodles.

"yeah. i know this sunbaenim who happens to just be the top scorer of the school." san sputtered, gold having landed in his lap, "dude?! why didn't you tell me earlier??"

— 7 months and 2 weeks before

"sunbae!" you watch in horror as this male student came barrelling down the hallway, calling out your name another time. not believing your eyes, you clutched onto your bagstrap tighter, the male progressively gaining unto you.

what on earth...?

your flight or fight instincts was triggered and you begin running away from him, not having any clue about what was going on.

"sunbae! stop running away please!" he never ceased his pace, steadily catching up. "w-what do you want...!" you hollered worriedly. he continued to chase you out of the hallway towards the school track field. you felt a sharp tug and you were sent falling backwards into his arms.

"for some nerd like sunbae, you are quite the runner."

you were absolutely floored, sweaty and breathless, whereas he seemed put together, not a hair out of place. you jumped out of his hold, shooting him a puzzled look, "why were you running after me...choi san-ssi?" you squinted at his name tag and he stares pointedly at you, "...now that you've stopped running, i got something to ask."

— 7 months and 1 week before

after much persuasion (it surprisingly wasn't too difficult), you agreed to tutor him after you mentioned that you were friends with wooyoung. in the name of 'getting to know someone better', he has been asking the people in school about what they know of you.

this was as far as he has gathered: you were not someone who stands out from the crowd, the only thing distinguishable was just your outstanding grades. you hardly said no to any request and were an all-round nice person, smiling everywhere you went; hence you were also quite the popular person, much to san's chargin.

and somehow, wooyoung also just happened to be your neighbor. (san wonders why wooyoung's grades weren't stellar, but who was he to judge, right?)

here he was, sat beside the top scorer of the school, also his senior, and also somehow wooyoung's contact. he felt a bit out of place in your neat and tidy room, a stark contrast to his messy and dim one.

"san-ah, let's try that again, shall we? if we look through this part again..."

he didn't want to be here, but he needed to pull his grades up...by a lot. damn his poor grades. he sighs frustratedly, rubbing his eyes from the bright afternoon light streaming into your room. well, it was helping him to focus somehow...

"are you paying attention?" you lightly tapped on his shoulder and he scowls, "sunbae...i'm trying to..."

out of courtesy, he told you to drop the honorifics and now he doesn't know whether to hate the fact his name rolls off your tongue so sweetly or that it was annoying.

"sure, okay...listen, this part here? that's important. if you follow..." you continued your explanation, but paused when you see him drifting off into his own world yet again.

"san? do you need a break?" mildly mortified because you caught him zoning out more than once (this was the fourth time), he huffed and shook his head.

with amusement, san watches as you pulled out a packet of chocolate milk from your bag and he raises a brow when you push it into his hand. "sunbae, what..." did you think he was a little kid? he was nearly 2 heads taller than you and--

"just something to cheer you up. i thought you might like it...but if you don't..." you proceeded to take it back but san was quicker to grab it, lightly grazing your hands in the process.

"i want it." he realized how much he sounded like a petulant child and cleared his throat, 'i mean...i'm hungry." you smiled affectionately at him, causing him to practically wince at your undivided focus.

gulping down on the milk, san purposely avoided eye contact with you. he subtly glances at you from the corner of his eyes: you were looking intently at his worksheet, scribbling tips and notes at the borders, neatly summarizing for him what is the important things.

he'd rather get punched in the stomach than admit he likes you more than he thinks. (he doesn't know yet.)

"well...are you going to start listening?" "yeah...yeah..."

— 5 months and 3 weeks before

"sunbae..." san spots you sitting down by the bleachers in the evening sun and his heart rate picks up. it's been a few weeks since you started tutoring him and he's beginning to look forward to each and every session, putting in the effort to actually revise his topics so you could be proud of him. he's definitely warmed up to you, and unbeknownst to him, his cold exterior begun to chip in your presence.

jogging over, he calmed down for a bit—taking his excessive excitement down a notch—before talking to you

"what are you doing here?" he hoped he was presentable as he stood slightly nervous before you.

"wooyoung told me i should come and support him; i expected you to be around too so i thought i could hang around." you simply smiled and a sting of jealousy struck san. he brushed it off, cool exterior back in place, "so how was i?"

"i think you're really good! i hope that your grades improve so that you can stand brightly on the court with no worries." the way you encouraged him effortlessly nearly had him buckling. just on cue, wooyoung materializes beside san, "sunbae! you came!"

"you called didn't you? i hope all that basketball didnt cause you to forget our tutoring session." you rolled your eyes as wooyoung playfully pats your head, "of course sunbae!"

san guesses he's thoroughly mistaken: you were also tutoring wooyoung.

why did he think he was the only tutee you had? for all he knew you had more than just wooyoung and him as your students.

wooyoung trundles away to get his gym bag and you followed him, all while san stands there trying not to be sulky. you picked up your schoolbag, grabbing your jacket, "san-ah, i'm going to go first."

pausing in your tracks, you waved goodbye to san with a cheery smile on your face, "don't forget our session tomorrow okay?" he brightens at your reminder (if he might add, a little giddy when you said 'our'), "okay...!"

you spun around and jogged to wooyoung's side and san wishes that it was him. maybe if he knew how to express his emotions better just like how outgoing wooyoung is, so that you could have that similar banter with him.

almost immediately, san smacks his face with his palms, eyes widening in shock.

no…now’s not the time to be distracted choi san!!!

— 4 months before

to make things easier for you, you begun tutoring the two of them in your home since they took similar subjects despite the being put in different classes. san was happy that tutoring sessions increased, but...not so happy that he couldn't have one-on-one time with you.

wait...since when did he care about that?

"i heard that you two had a mock test just this week. can i review your papers?" wooyoung confidently hands his over, "i managed to get into the top ten! are you proud of me?" you nodded your head as you flipped through wooyoung's papers. it wasn't long before your attention was on san, who was dodging your very gaze when you noticed the barely passing mark circled in red on his paper.

"i didn't do quite well." san admits, lowering his gaze. "it''s okay. you improved from your previous rank! small improvement is still improvement after all."

wooyoung interrupted and cheekily grabbed your arm, "sunbae! since i did well i can skip on today's tutor session right? see you~" without much hesitation wooyoung takes his own paper back from you and scampers out of your room. "his head is gonna inflate from all that pride i swear." you chuckled and san hides a laugh at your words.

"well now that he's gone, let's review your paper now, shall we?"

you sat him down beside you as you went through his mistakes and gave him additional questions, leaving him quite miserable at the end of the session. sensing his dejected spirit, you pat his back to comfort him. "sunbae, i feel bad because...i can't do well..."

san didn't know what came over him as he rambled on, stopping himself almost immediately because he thought he sounded silly. you grabbed his hand, that same enchanting smile on your face, "well...i'm here aren't i? i promised i'd help you to do your best so you can go for the nationals."

"but why do you want to help me?" san questioned. you shrugged your shoulders, "you're the coolest on the court!" san sputters, "huh? sunbae, don't joke with me!"

you shoot him a bashful smile, "to know that i was able to help you? that's more than enough. i don't need you to repay me; i just wanna see you fulfill your passions."

at that split second of a moment, when the sun was setting and you were basked in it's golden glory, san thinks he's falling in love with you.

— 3 months

"wooyoung, why do you keep hanging out around sunbae these days?" san randomly brings up, before shaking his head, "you know what? nevermind."

"why are you even asking me this question?" wooyoung's eyes never left the computer screen, fingers tapping rapidly on the keyboard to make his game avatar run and dodge.

san aimlessly scrolls his mouse about, "just...nothing." of course, being neighbors and all it would not be weird for san to witness the two of you walking to and from school together, to hang out occasionally together. that much is normal, but to what extend is it considered not?

wooyoung bursts out laughing, "are you jealous or something? do you like sunbae?"

san silence spoke volumes and wooyoung turns his head slowly, unbelief evident in his contorted face, "you have a crush?!" san slaps his hand over wooyoung's mouth.

"not so loud genius!!"

wooyoung gasped in shock, "no wonder you've been so...weird lately. it is certainly very unlike you and i guess this explains everything. like...everything!"

— 2 months before

san felt as if a whole boulder has been lifted off his heart at the realization that he likes you. that explained all the "unnecessary" heart racing moments when it was just you and him, all the times when he would "accidentally" detour around school just to walk past your class and "somehow" get a glimpse of you.

with this newfound appreciation, his grades also took a turn for the better because he wanted to make you proud. he started texting you about his day outside of school (wooyoung often left him on read), giddy with happiness when you replied to him with the same enthusiasm.

before he knew it, the semester tests were around the corner. san stood worriedly outside the classroom with his other classmates waiting to enter. he spots you walking hurriedly down the hallway and when his eyes met yours, he relaxed his tensed shoulders.

murmurs from his classmates increased as you paused in front of him, "i'm rooting for you. here's your lucky charm." you whispered, pushing something into his hand. as quickly as you stopped by him, you walked away to your classroom on the floor above his.

he opens his palm to see the pen, a grin forming on his face when he notices your name sticker on it. gripping it tighter in his hand, he enters the classroom with confidence.

— 2 month and 3 weeks before

"sunbae, do you have a good luck charm?"

"well, i don't have one."

san propped his head on his hand, "i need a good luck charm for the coming tests, just like what i have for my matches." he points to his bracelet, one made by wooyoung to commemorate them being friends in basketball.

"from me?" you stared at him quizzically and san flushed, parroting your question, "from...you?!" you two burst out laughing at the absurdity of the interaction. you calmed down enough to formulate a proper response, "i'll...maybe think about it...?"

san pouts at your uncertainty, "you're not going to give me one?" you lightly pinched his cheeks, "you're making it very hard for me to say no. i'll get you something, okay?"

"i'll hold your word to it sunbae!"

— 1 month before

"how did it go?"

you were huffing, having ran from your homeroom to san's classroom as soon as he texted you he got back his results. you found him standing outside the classroom: head hung low, hands clenched at his side. he perked up at the sound of your question and the sight before you nearly had you reeling.

"i..."

you waited with bated breath for san to finish his statement. "i...somehow did it..." he points to the ranking that was displayed on his phone, and in the picture you could see that his marks barely made the cut, yet because of the person after him, he was pushed to the top 25% of scores in his cohort.

"san! you did it!" you hugged him and he freezes in your hold. you pulled away from him, unshed tears in your eyes causing him to panic, "ahh! sunbae! why are you crying!!" san hurriedly wipes away the falling tears and you laughed, "i'm so glad all that hard work paid off, even if it was just merely there, you improved by leaps and bounds!"

"could have been the lucky charm you gave me. i brought it with me to all my papers." he mentioned and delights in the way you were tongue-tied at his revelation. "sunbae, why this pen though? is there anything special about it?" he pulls out the pen from his pocket, rotating it in his hands to examine it closely.

"if you really must know, it was the very first pen that i got with my own pocket money. nothing special, but i liked the fact that i worked hard to get this branded pen." you bashfully replied, taking back the pen from him.

he thinks you're really beautiful like this, and he finds it so difficult to not like you. he's thoroughly crushing on you now, even more so than before when he first met you.

"before i forget, san-ah, what's your wish?"

— 2 weeks before

now that san has earn the respect of his coach from his drastically improved grades, he's been staying back after school every day to practice till late.

with the ball dribbling beneath his palms, he relishes in his passion and determination that brought him this far.

"you're in great form, eh?" wooyoung teases as the two of them shoot hoops. "yeah, i absolutely missed this. back when coach only allowed me to come for tuesday trainings? that was such a pain!" san laughs, thinking about how he would linger outside the auditorium as he watch his teammates train with each other, while he had to get going to be tutored.

not that he minded, actually. deep down, he was glad for this break because after meeting you, he was reluctant to go back to this thrice-a-week club trainings. he immediately pushes that thought away, exerting force to fling the ball in wooyoung's general direction.

"did you get sunbae to come watch you?" wooyoung—who somehow has become his confidant for anything relating to you—wiggled his eyebrows and san's face warmed up, "yeah i managed to ask. and sunbae's going to be coming..." san embarrassedly hides his face behind the ball wooyoung returns and an uncharacteristic squeal leaves wooyoung's lips and he excitably hugs san, "let's go! my bro's got this!"

— D-DAY

"san! over here!" wooyoung hollers and san passes the ball over. with just about one more minute left in the last quarter, san was really feeling the physical and mental strain after the first 3 rounds. he needs to make the final blow that will pull his school out of the current tie they were in.

san let's his other teammates go ahead of him as he scours around for a wide spot with as little defense from the opposing team.

san's entire being awakens as his gaze lands on you in the bleachers; you were here for him. his eyes flicker between the court and you distractedly, watching as you looked around uncertainly, before deciding to just stand at the back, still within his line of vision.

"san!" surging with adrenaline he nods at wooyoung, who then swings the ball high up. this move he practiced countless times with his friends, coordinating down to even synchronizing their breaths and footsteps.

this is for you.

he takes a huge leap with arms held up. the moment the ball from wooyoung falls in his palms, he sends the ball hurtling into the net. heart beating in trepidation, he feels the second melting into one another as the ball dramatically lands in the hoop with a satisfying woosh.

"with that quick thinking, KQ high school wins the nationals!"

the whole auditorium was flooded with cheers, confetti and streamers floating down from the sky. san feels himself being lifted up by his teammates, wooyoung shouting in his ear about how crazy it was, but all he could focus on was you and your awed expression. pride blooms through him like a blossoming flower, and he thinks he could get used to having someone being there for him.

after all that congratulatory messages from his team, he makes his way to you, beckoning for you to come over to the side lines.

"you made it, sunbae."

"i'm fulfilling your wish, isn't it?"

san chuckles in acknowledgement, "it is my wish for you to see me in the nationals, but now that i won, i want sunbae to grant me another wish."

your nose scrunched up, the corners of your lips turned downwards despite the big smile on your face, "another? that's—"

"—sunbae, will you go out with me?"

@ppumeonae-bigvibe 's work ; likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

[rxmqnova]

Okay so how about (teen) lizzie is our best friend and comes to cheer us on at the chess grand championship match. On Monday the who school is teasing us for being a massive nerd, but are celebrity best friend has our back.

Cheers

The chess championship

NO ONE'S POV "Lizzie, what are you doing here?" Y/N smiles as soon as she sees her best friend, immediately walking over to her to greet her with a hug.

"Well, you're my best friend. I needed to come and support you on this important day" Lizzie smiles warmly, pulling away from the hug and tucking a strand of hair behind Y/N's ear. "I knew you'd win. It was amazing, you were amazing"

The thing is that Y/N had the last match at the grand chess championship and Lizzie knew it, so she came to support her best friend.

Y/N loves to play chess and she's actually really good at it. That good that she won the whole championship and Lizzie's surely so proud of her bestie.

———

Y/N's smile immediately fades when she steps into her classroom only to hear she's the main topic of everyone's conversations.

She's used on being teased and laughed at, but maybe she just hoped that winning the grand chess championship would change it, but it looks like it's the complete opposite.

Apperantly, the win made her look like even bigger nerd than her classmates already thought she was.

The day goes slowly, all the teasing and laughing makes it even slower. Y/N wishes she could just disappear.

When the horrible day comes to an end and Y/N finally steps out of the school, a huge group of people catches the girl's attention.

She walks closer, her frown gets immediately replaced by a bright smile when she spots her best friend standing in the middle.

"Ah, Y/N/N" Lizzie smiles, wrapping her arms around Y/N and pulling her in for a tight hug, and that makes everyone shut up.

"What are you doing here?" Y/N asks with a huge smile.

"Thought we could celebrate your win properly" Lizzie says with a smile, giving Y/N's hand a little squeeze.

Even though Lizzie came to support Y/N, they didn't actually get to celebrate after as Lizzie was needed on set for her new movie.

"You're the best" Y/N grins.

"I know" Lizzie teases, nudging her shoulders with Y/N's. "You ready to go?"

"Yes, I-" Y/N stops as soon as she realises she left her phone in her locker. "I forgot my phone, I'll be right back and then we can go" The girl blurts out and before Lizzie can respond, she's gone.

Y/N's quick to pick up her phone, though on her way back a bunch of people gets in her way, blocking her so she couldn't leave.

She opens her mouth to ask if they could let her go, yet the smirks on their faces already give the answer.

And there it goes again… the laughing and teasing for winning the chess match. Y/N just stands there, trying hard to ignore them, but it just seems impossible.

10 minutes pass and they just don't stop. Tears fill the girl's eyes and few tears even escape and roll down her cheeks.

Oh, how much she wishes she wouldn't have left the god damn phone here.

"You think this is funny?" A voice is heard from behind the teens and when they stand aside to look who dared to interrupt, Y/N finds her best friend standing there, an angry expression on her face.

"You should be proud that you have such an amazing, talented and smart girl at your school and not make fun of her for liking chess. There's nothing wrong about it, so just shut up and leave her alone" Lizzie glares at the group, wrapping an arm around Y/N's shoulder and leading her out of the school.

"Are you okay, Y/N/N?" Lizzie asks softly, rubbing Y/N's shoulder as the other girl wipes away her tears.

"Yeah. Thank you" Y/N mumbles out, giving Lizzie the best smile she can do at the moment.

"Screw them, they're just jealous at how amazing you are" Lizzie says as an attempt to cheer her best friend up, receiving a small chuckle back.

"You're the bestest best friend I could ever have" Y/N says honestly, wrapping her arms about Lizzie and giving her a hug. "Thank you"

"I'm only saying the truth. You're such an amazing, talented, beautiful and smart girl, Y/N/N. So screw them and let's go celebrate your win" Lizzie nudges her shoulder with Y/N's playfully, earning a chuckle, so she interlocks her fingers with Y/N's and starts pulling the girl towards her car.

Y/N smiles widely, now knowing better than to listen to a bunch of stupid kids. She has her best friend Lizzie who's truly the most amazing best friend she could ever have.

----------------------

Elizabeth Olsen masterlist

Masterlist

[moldy-flowers]

Naruto au where Jiriya comes back to Konoha to adopt Naruto like he promised to do but somewhere along the way they get Tsunade back in the village and Tsunade becomes Sasukes caretaker (She adopts him but neither are comfortable calling eachother mother and son yet so they stick with "The Lady in my house who cooks bad" and "the brat who doesn't appreciate good meals when he sees them")

Then at some point when Naruto and Sasuke are genins Jiriya and Tsunade get married and now Naruto and Sasuke have to live together. There's a really emotional scene of Sasuke having to say goodbye to his old home and its like "oh god its really all over they're not coming back I'm not coming back I can't just leave them behind I need to let go but I just can't do it" and Tsunade calls Sasuke her son for the first time and he totally doesn't cry!!!

Forest of death but Sasuke Sakura and Naruto already know who Orochimaru is, Sasuke knows absolutely not to trust him so the curse mark doesn't really affect him too horribly but it does lead for a lot of tension in the group. Also after being the girlboss she was born to be Sakura decides she can't be protected anymore and bc Tsunade is like, right there she asks her if she can be trained and Tsunade says yes obv. Hiruzen dies purely because i hate that guy but Orochimaru also dies to Jiriya and Tsunade also because I really really hate him too.

Theres the time when Kisame and Itachi visit Konoha and Itachi hears Naruto refer to Tsunade as his mom and Sasuke as his brother and hes GOT to know what's going on so he spies on them and learns that Sasukes been adopted but he sees this moment of Tsunade announcing she's pregnant (what a shocker she was 🤏 that close to never having to worry about pregnancy ever again but Jiriya just couldn't keep it in his pants for another 2 years, the manwhore.) And itachi sees Sasuke realising he's gonna be an older brother and being super happy about it saying he's gonna be the best big brother ever (Hades hangs his laundry on the bar its so low all he's gotta do is not kill everyone and he's already better than Itachi) and Itachi is like "ah man but how's he gonna get stronger there's no hatred in there i need him to do my suicide for me!!!" But Jiriya noticed he was there and confronts him a little later but see Jiriyas a little smarty pants and has been living in Konoha for years and always knew there was something fishy with the massacre and danzo so Jiriya just bluffs his way to the truth (Phoenix is that you?) And he's like "look Sasukes ur brother but he's my son now, he has enough nightmares and enough trauma and enough trust issues to last him a lifetime feck off and if you wanna die so bad then kill yourself and don't use your brother as a tool for ur suicide" <- I may be projecting a bit but ANYWAYS Itachi and Kisame have to leave Konoha bc Naruto is under watch by Kakashi, Tsunade and Jiriya and they are NAWT winning that fight.

Skip to shippuden era Sasuke v/ Itachi fight but Itachis been skipping out on his meds!! (He did it because he's a nerd loser guy who thinks "oh man sasuke isn't angry or filled with hatred and overall living a really terrible and unfufilling life he's probably so weak i need to stoop down to his level") Oh no so hes really super sick and Sasuke has picked up a lot from Tsunade so he knows Itachis time is near and although Sasuke really wants Itachi dead he's like "fuck it, dude you absolutely ruined my life and gave me trauma I'm never ever going to recover from sometimes I still wonder if my friends or family are going to turn around and kill me do you know how fucked that is why the hell did you even do that I don't want some bullshit excuse tell me" like he absolutely chews that loser (derogatory) out and Itachi is like, "kk ill tell u everything" and Sasuke is RUINED and he takes like a long 30 minutes of silence between the two just sitting there for Sasuke to go like "Itachi, I don't... think I forgive you. But I understand why you did it. I would have done it too" And its very emotional!! That moment is all Itachi needs bc he was sort of barely clinging onto life as it is and now that he's got peace he can finally die and they share a really sweet moment before he goes :(

And when Sasuke gets home and cries, (this time he can admit it cause he's a big boy now and understands it's okay to feel) to Tsunade he calls her his mother for the first time and its so ahaishahabnabsjsjnd

Anyways they all lived happily ever after the end no wars no nothing all over bye bye

[sunthyme]

Hehehe. Part two baby! Be prepared! (Pun absolutely intended) Also, to the people who are yelling the the tags, I love you guys! I read them all and I can't say thank you enough. It genuinely means a ton!🩷🩷🩷

Enough of me being sappy,

🌻Savanaclaw🌻

Disclaimer: Savanaclaw is like lowkey my favourite dorm, not in terms of redesigns but I love the characters. Huge Leona fan and Jack and Ruggie are my children so I will not stop talking about them. You have been warned.

First up, though y'all have seen him already,

♟️Leona Kingscholar♟️

(he/him) - Unlabelled but doesn't care about gender

I snuck in a lil treat of my work in progress housewarden card. The jumpscare it was to toggle my version with the og card underneath, y'all. Am I making my version of pretty much all his cards? Yes. Will they ever be finished? Who knows? Anyways, onto the headcanons...

- Physically, I feel like I changed a lot and not a lot at the same time. I gave him some more scars which I guarantee you are from really stupid accidents.

- Piercing on his ears just cause I felt they fit him and snakebites because (I'm so down bad for them) it gave the illusion of fangs even with his mouth closed. Gave him moles cause they're pretty.

- I textured his hair and gave him a shit ton more because if the og design won't AT LEAST give him fluffier hair, what's the point? Yana Toboso, if you don't give this man a high ponytail in the Clubwear Card, I will hunt you down. Also made his front, larger braids the colour of Cheka's (And presumably Farena's) hair because honestly? They didn't really look similar enough? Also threw in some smaller braid to 'tie' them in more (haha).

- Someone gave him like this cool inverted pupil due to a scene in the movie but I simplified it to basically heterochromia.

- This might be hardly noticeable but I give give him slightly more muscle? I felt it suited him more idk.

- Onto non-physical headcanons, he has 💕depression💕! This is kinda not up for debate given how much he exemplifies the symptoms. Hell, he made me realise that I may have depression cause I was like, "Damn, he's so relatable, not wanting to get out of bed, no motivation to do anything, struggling to care of himself. He just like me frfr- oh..."

- By the way, I see a lot of people talking about Ruggie's reaction to the fallout of Book 2 but I think that on Leona's side, he felt horrible and probably locked himself away for a WHILE. I think his mental state must have been terrible and I'm SO PISSED HIS FCKING PROBLEMS NEVER GOT BROUGHT AGAIN WTF! Well, I'm on Book 4 so maybe???

- Anyways, I saw someone posit he could also be autistic, more on the asymptomatic side which is actually growing on me a lot. Picky eater, doesn't like tighter clothes, not fond of loud noises, smaller things but I'm a fan.

- Really random but I like the idea that he's one of those people who kids love for literally no reason, he just doesn't like to be around them.

- Is actually extremely book smart, though that's kinda already canon but I mean this bitch was a nerd when he was younger. Knows way too much on various topics, especially about his homeland.

- He can purr. I know lion's can't but there are literal mer and fae. He's just a big kitty. My and Idia like 🤞 when it comes to thinking of Leona as just a big meow. I have a cat who doesn't like anyone but I'm her favourite, I could win him over.

I could talk about him for sooooo long tbh so I'll shut up now.

Anyways, now for my boy,

💸Ruggie Bucchi💸

(he/she) Bigender - Biromantic Asexual

God I love my bigender child.

- I made him black, though probably mixed and gave him vitiligo for both visual flavour and a mild(?) reference to like hyena spots?

- He originally was going to have her hair down but then I realised how many of them had their natural hair already so I gave him dreads? I'll have to render them out at some point.

- Gave her more scars too, since she grew up in a more rough environment. Made his eyes really big and cute 'cause I feel like she can get extras when she hits 'em with the puppy eyes.

- Probably got mad ADHD, has to constantly be fiddling with something or another. Wears spinny rings a lot. He's actually really good at paying attention in class and likes to learn.

- Steals from Leona, whether it's money or items or clothes he leaves out (which, while Leona would never admit, he purposefully leaves out for Ruggie).

- Oh and a post pointed out that hyenas can purr, so have fun with that.

That's mostly it for now, but expect this list to grow lmao.

Now for,

💪Jack Howl💪

(he/him) - Queer (he doesn't know lol, just knows he likes dudes at this point)

Not me struggling to find a weight emoji (I failed) 😭😭😭

- Ah, I made a reference in the Heartslabyul post about my concern about darker skinned characters with white hair and I was mainly talking about Jack. I also had to make Kiki, and I figured that wolves have pretty naturally salt-and-pepper hair, so why not. I actually love how it looks omg, it's very pretty and marbled.

- Gave him darker skin, since I headcanon him as black but I did see someone who designed him as indigenous so it might change in the future idk. Also it makes his eyes almost glow and I love that for him.

- He gets more scars too, though likely from sports rather than fights or anything.

- He's autistic. Apologies that so many of them are autistic to me, not only am I autistic but like, the way they're written speaks to me. His whole moral compass being the reason for Book 2 playing out like it did was an immediate 'yes' from me. He's my boy and my son and I will fistfight anyone that smack talks him (looking at those Savannaclaw NPCs in one of Deuce's vignettes).

- Oh, I forgot. He listens to K-Pop. I don't know if it?s canon that he has younger siblings, though I totally think he does, but one of them accidentally got him into K-Pop and J-Pop so whenever he's at the gym, that's what he's listening to lmao. Specifically girl groups, he likes them enough that he knows all their names. He insists it's out of respect, which it is but he's also lowkey a stan too lol.

- Generally has a weakness for cute things, even if he doesn't show it. Also a total plant nerd omg. He could instruct you on pretty much any houseplant on how much sunlight and water it needs, seasonal changes, etc.

Final note is that I'll make a separate post about him and Epel, cause I love them and have some headcanons there too.

Now for my ocs!

💎Kiki Adebayo💎

Third Year - (she/her) Transfem - Aromantic Demisexual Sapphic

- Twisted from Rafiki? I think that's his name, the baboon. I'm crying sobbing throwing up that you can't see her eyes in this.

- She got the white hair since the fur on a baboon is directly white and took inspiration from Dislyte's Isis design. Her eyes are a pale gold like her earrings and she has red to blue eye shadow.

- Natural resting bitch face but she's just tired most of the time. She'd probably be the actual vice housewarden as I think her family has been close to Leona's for a long time, though she earned her spot with her own skills.

- Additionally, I wouldn't call her and Leona 'childhood friends' but she's known him for a long time. She's like, concerned about him as he's changed so much but she also worries that it's not her place. As a result, she tries to make sure Ruggie's not taking on too much and handles most of the dormhead duties herself.

God, she's so pretty omg anyways

👟Mandisa Jelani👟

Second Year - (they/she) Demi-girl - Pansexual

- Mandisa is also based on the hyenas, though I don't know if her and Ruggie are from the same pack necessarily.

- I gave her scars, moles, and some piercings as well, I just felt like they'd suit her.

- I think she and Jack would be relatively similar in terms of personality, I see her being the gruffer upperclassmen. I think she'd be rather protective of the first years, knowing how harsh the older dorm members can be and she does her best to make everyone feel welcome.

Next up,

🤘Rocío Chávez🤘

Second Year - (she/her but doesn't really care) Transfem - Panromantic Asexual

You'll never guess who she's based on /j

- My girlie based on Kronk from The Emperor's New Groove! Yes, she is a big and buff bimbo? Himbo? I don't know but she's got a heart of gold and head empty.

- I wanted to keep her physique cause it always annoys me when people genderbend a character but don't keep them proportional to their og design. Mini tangent over, she so silly I love her.

- She and my Yzma character met as first years and have been inseparable since, though I'll talk more about that later.

- Not a massive ton of characterisation sine it's been a while since I've seen this movie too but I'm always open to suggestions.

Finally, my silly

🎸Abayomi Furaha🎸

First Year - (she/they/it) Nonbinary - Bisexual

- My final baby from Savanaclaw, also based on a hyena. Specifically the lil bug-eyed one, but I gave her a lazy eye instead. Not sure how well that comes across but I tried.

- She's got scars, was definitely bullied as a kid and I think that once the dorm members consider her a part of the pack, they'd be super overprotective as a result.

- That being said, she's more than capable of defending herself as she's good at various martial arts.

- She's into rock music and joined the music club as a result. Probably a drummer or guitarist as I think she's insecure about her voice.

- She and Mandisa are quite close and she convinced them to dye the edges of her hair red. Abayomi wanted touch up hers and managed to get Mandisa in on to lol.

That's all for now! Stay tuned for Octavinelle and thank you so much for reading!

[donnerpartyofone]

Recent Incidents of Inappropriate IRL-Internet Intermingling:

On Instagram I posted (only half-jokingly) that LONGLEGS is just like that grade-Z Tiny Tim movie BLOOD HARVEST, and somebody with a username that's just a random-looking character string replied that they HATE ME for it. I was thinking wtf you HATE ME? That seems a little extreme from a total stranger. And then I looked and realized it's my husband's #1 most misogynistic friend who has always been visibly uncomfortable with me because I'm a girl who is also a nerd and I have had professional nerd jobs and I know more about some stuff than he does. (He wasn't trying to hide his identity, I just didn't instantly realize it was him) Now he has started regularly leaving comments that he probably thinks count as friendly, but it's always some insult about how I'm doing something wrong, or I went to a bar before the weekend, or just anything that could be an insult that I can't respond to without seeming oversensitive. I just ignore them all, which I'm sure annoys him.

LinkedIn told me that an ex-friend who I had a really bad falling out with viewed my profile. I'm sure she wasn't looking for me, LinkedIn is good at making it weirdly unavoidable to look at or "connect with" people. I was in a long relationship with someone who was (among many other horrible things) cheating on me elaborately as a spectator sport for the enjoyment of his friends/coworkers/bosses (yes, bosses), and when we finally broke up I was just so happy that I never had to even see the face of his super gross-sounding mistress. And then, even though I'm sure I unfollowed/blocked my ex everywhere, LinkedIn tried to make me connect with her, so I had to see her shitty rattyass face. At least I didn't think she was hot at all but I was so fucking pissed. But anyway, with my old friend it wasn't that we got in a fight, we were just growing apart quickly and she did something pretty bad and I reacted pretty badly and we just stopped talking without discussion. I'm not proud of how it went down, but the friendship definitely had to end. Part of me is a little afraid the LinkedIn viewing is the prelude to her trying to communicate somehow. I really don't need closure and I wouldn't want to repair the relationship, like I think she's a decent person and I wish her well but I wouldn't be at all interested in having a conversation. If she actually reached out for that and I turned her down I would feel like a huge fucking coward and it's arguable that I owe her more than that, but I don't know. I don't think there would be any point to it. I've narrowed down my range of friends a lot over the past several years and I'm pretty happy with the way things are now. Fuckin LinkedIn.

[stardust948]

Good Luck Kiyi AU

[Watching a home video]

Ozai: It's from my glory days at South High school.

Sokka: No way, Mr. Hong! You went to our school?!

Ozai: No. You're going to my school.

~

Chan and Ry-jon: *high fiving each other after they stole the school mascot*

Ursa, in the dragon costume: 눈_눈

Chan: Let's see what nerd is wearing the costume this year! *rips off the head*

Ry-jon: Dude! Druk's old!!!

Ursa, offended: Druk is not old! Druk had three kids!

Ursa: Now, could you please take me back to the school?

Chan: No way. Not until the game's over.

Ursa: Ok, could you take me home then?

Ry-jon: Not happening.

Ursa: Look if we're going to drive around in circles for hours can I at least go to the bathroom?

Chan: Can't you hold it?

Ursa: I had three kids! I pee when I sneeze!

Chan: Gross. Pull over.

Ursa: You're such a gentleman.

[Van pulls over. Boys start to climb out but Ursa kicks them from behind]

Ursa: South High Rules!!! *steals the van*

~

Zuko: That's weird.

Ursa: What's weird?

Zuko: Well, I met this psychic in the lobby and she made some crazy predictions. But one of them just came true. *holds up two left boots he accidently packed*

Ursa: I meant a psychic once. She was dead on about me. Said I was going to be famous.

Zuko: But that hasn't come true.

Ursa: Yet.

~

[At the hospital]

Ozai: Firelily, this is all going to be okay.

Ursa: No it's not! It's too hard! I-I can't do this! What made me think I could go back to work full time and take care of three kids?!

Ursa, crying: I'm a horrible mother!

Ozai: No you're not. If anything, I'm a horrible father.

Ursa: I know!

Azula, dressed in a lab coat to sneak in: Would you two stop already? Zuko and I turned out fine. Or well I did.

Ozai: Yes, we must be doing something right. I mean, our daughter's a doctor!

~

Ozai and Ursa: *Stressed from taking care of Kiyi*

Ursa: Will you like some nan nans?

Ozai: Yes I do. Yes I do.

Zuko: Guys, Kiyi isn't even here!

Ursa: Wittle baby takin' nappy up stairs.

Azula: Then why are you still speaking in baby talk?!

Ozai: ... I don't weally know.

Zuko: When was the last time you went out? Just the two of you. You know, like a date!

Ozai and Ursa:

Ozai and Ursa: *burst out laughing*

Ozai: Zuzu made a funny!

Ursa: A funny wunny!

Azula: That's it! *pushing them out the kitchen* You two out!

Ursa, whining: But Lala-

Azula: Out! Out! Out!

~

Ozai: Would you get your kids out of that treehouse?!

Ursa: Why are they always my kids when they don't do what you want?

Ozai: I appreciate that they're taking a stand, I just don't like it's against me!!!

Ursa: Would you calm down?

Ozai: I'm the father! I'm in charge around here!

Ursa: *glares at him*

Ozai: When you're not home.

[minetteskvareninova]

How Would I Put This For My Non-Slovak Mutuals

Slovakia is going to have elections (premature, I should note, because Matovič is an idiot, see bellow) and by God I am stressed. Our options are as follows:

Progresívne Slovensko (Progressive Slovakia) - They are the, well, progressive party of the Slovak political spectrum. Which means they are the only fucking party that supports the LGBT movement with any consistency. Most of their other proposals are also relatively reasonable; they are interested in protecting the environment, want to improve the sorry state of Slovak healthcare, fight the corruption and so on. Their only two issues are the fact that their leader, Martin Šimečka, is a fucking nerd with the charisma of a wet noodle, and the fact that everyone, and I mean absolutely everyone, even people who theoretically should be on their side on account of not being bigoted Putin-loving dipshits, hates them for absolutely no reason. Well, except for their large preferences, probably. They are the most successful party, or second most successful (depends on how the elections pan out) after...

SMER - Sociálna demokracia (DIRECTION - Social Democracy; yes I know SMER is also short for something but I'm too lazy to look it up right now) - Hoo boy. These guys. How would I even start to explain the sheer amount of baggage these guys carry...? SMER has been in power in 2008-2012 and 2012-2020. And it was a fucking shitshow. Between massive corruption and widespread mismanagement of public resources, you can't help but wonder how the fuck did these people last one term, let alone three?! Don't let the Social Democracy thing in their name fool you, these people aren't really social democrats, they have no ideology beyond getting more votes and avoiding jail. Their leader is Róbert Fico, a literal antichrist whose corruption scandals would make for an exceptionally thick encyclopedia. This man is able to sell his soul to the devil for money and power, but since the devil seems kinda unavailable, he figured Putin is the next best (worst?) thing. His latest strategy for gaining more support is leaning into the fanatical Putin-loving, EU and human rights hating crowd, which in our country is depressingly large. Another memorable personality is Ľuboš Blaha, a tankie extraordinaire whose favourite meal is the sole of Volodya's boot and a steady diet of bathit conspiracies. Remember when Blaha engaged in casual atrocity denial around Bucha, because Pepperidge Farm and Minette's blog remember. https://www.tumblr.com/minetteskvareninova/680859499810177024/this-war-is-horrible-and-itself-would-be-enough

Hlas-SD (Voice-SD) - Most progressives in Slovakia have high hopes for these people. I don't. They are an offshoot of SMER, whose leader Peter Pellegrini has mostly held the line with Fico, but at least seems spineless enough to betray him if it happens to be advantageous enough. They don't really have any kind of concrete politics (most of their program is a vague "we'll make things better" kind of stuff), but at least they don't actively spread hate, so in that way they are able to climb over the low bar that is their mother party. Still, how are these people in the third place of every pre-election survey I will never know. I guess Pelle is just that sexy or whatever.

Obyčajní ľudia a nezávislé osobnosti (Ordinary People And Independent Personalities) - They have been the ruling party since 2020 and much like with SMER, it was kind of a shitshow, just in a different way. Their leader Igor Matovič is less corrupt (mind you, not NOT corrupt) than Fico, but more than makes up for it by being kinda stupid and also a horrendous drama queen whose antics prematurely ended two cabinets, his and Heger's. Tenderly nicknamed "Matelko", he became known for his "atom bombs" of ideas, such as giving out prizes in a lottery that people join by getting vaccinated. Y'know, to increase vaccination rates during the height of COVID-19 pandemic. That's why this whole thing had to be televised, complete with "call to collect your prize" type of deal. For what it's worth, he at least made attempts to fight the corruption of the previous regime; he did it badly, as is his way, but nonetheless. "Independent personalities" here means a bunch of small parties that joined them in this election, because they would have no chance otherwise. They are a pretty diverse bunch, meaning their ranks include, among others, an infamous bigot and fanatical anti-abortion activist Anna Záborská, but they also made my bae Jaroslav Naď a defence minister, so that kinda balances it out. I wouldn't hate it if they managed to get into parliament, I'll tell you that much.

Slododa a Solidarita (Freedom and Solidarity) - Considering Matelko profiles himself as an anti-corruption crusader, you'd think Róbert Fico is his nemesis. You'd be wrong. Fico unfortunately loses that prestigious title to one Richard Sulík, leader of SaS, who is... Eh? Like, he's competent in the questions of economy and in general not in the worst tier of Slovak politicians, but also, he's as much of a libertarian as is possible in our part of the world (which si to say, he's not as bad as an average American libertarian, but still engages in, for example, casual climate change denial) and constantly feuds with Matelko. Again, I don't hate him, but we could do a lot better.

Kresťanskodemokratické hnutie (Christian-Democratic Movement) - They are surprisingly not as bigoted as their name would suggest, but that's because here in Slovakia we are used to levels of homophobia and transphobia that would boggle the mind of an average non-fundie American. They come off as relatively reasonable, but only because one can't help but compare them to Putin kissasses like SMER, SNS and Republika. Which brings us to...

Slovenská národná strana (Slovak National Party) - You know, Stupidest Slovak Politician is a tough contest, so my respect to anyone who is able to win it as decisively as Andrej Danko. This man is like Róbert Fico, if his spirit animal was a sheep instead of a fox (and I say it as someone who has experience with sheep, those motherfuckers are ungodly stupid). He simped for Putin before it was cool, when that particular fanclub was just him and Blaha. He doesn't seem to be able to speak his mother tongue and his constant malaproper speech is the source of many a meme. Which, yes, means that him getting into parliament would be pretty funny. On the other hand, all that fun would probably be somewhat spoiled by the fact that he's ALSO super corrupt, not to mention, y'know, conspiracy-spreading Putin simp and bigot. He also cites Viktor Orbán as his actual, honest-to-God role model. So, an all-around cool dude that I am very happy might be in the next parliament (if Fico wins the election, because naturally these two get on like a house on fire). /s

Republika (The Republic) - I can't believe SMER legit isn't the worst mainstream Slovak party, but I mean, at least they aren't actual neonazis? I mean, Republika does its best to hide their affiliations, but because their leader, Milan Uhrík, is in competition for the second stupidest Slovak politician (the first place, as stated, firmly belonging to Danko), they don't do a particularly good job of that. I mean, Republika is the product of a schism within ĽSNS, who were already infamous for their idiocy (besides, you know, barely disguised fascism), so figures. Milan Uhrík in particular is the man whose most important contributions to Slovak culture were sitting in the European Parliament doing fuck all (did I mention that like most bigots, he also shits on EU constantly?) and the "I am not a historian" meme. Basically, because of the blatant fascist sympathies of his party, including worshipping Jozef Tiso, he was asked to condemn the crimes of the First Slovak Republic (which was basically a Nazi puppet - yeah, Ukrainians aren't the only nation in this region with a shady past, go figure; not that it prevents some people, including Uhrík himself, from spreading the "denazification" bullshit). Uhrík's answer? "I am not a historian". Since then, he has been given several options to revise this opinion. He never took any of them. His agenda is also truly something to behold, like I've never read something as profoundly dumb as the pamphlets where they present it. They don't seem to be as successful as ĽSNS, but that's unfortunately because their schtick was stolen by SMER with the good chunk of their electorate. Still, SMER might actually take them into their coalition, because like goes with the like even if the "like" is bigotry, and lest we forget, there is no God.

Sme rodina (We Are Family) - *sigh* Do I have to? Okay. Sme rodina is yet another conservative party, completely unlike EVERY OTHER PARTY THAT EVER GAINED ANY TRACTION IN THIS COUNTRY PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE. Ahem. Its leader Boris Kollár is a businessman who gained something of a memetic status in Slovak showbusiness by being a massive whore and having a fuckton of illegitimate children (the current count is I think 12?). Something of a Slovak Herschel Walker. And just like Herschel Walker, he, the avowed conservative that he is, has been accused of paying for abortions of one of his ex-girlfriends. Which is just a reflection of this guy's general moral consistency. To put it simply, Boris is the biggest Slovak whore. If Fico asked him to join his coalition, you bet your ass he would. He also has associated with people involved in organized crime (just like Fico) and sexted a fifteen year old drug addict. Because, as their billboards state, Sme rodina "protects children". Needless to say, I can't fucking stand this dude just as a person; since he seems to want to be an Isekai hero, I hope he gets hit by a truck.

Demokrati (The Democrats) - They're fine. Their leader is our former short-term prime minister Eduard Heger, whose only flaws were being hopelessly naive and letting Matelko get away with shit he should not have gotten away with. Any people that might be OK with them already vote for Progresívne Slovensko, but maybe they will get enough votes to be eligible for parliament? Maybe??? Their chances aren't high to be honest, but what do you know, miracles do happen.