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fanficsforheartandsoul · 4 years

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Enemies | Darth Maul x Fem!Reader | Part I

Note: Maul is a little OOC in this story but I hope this is fine. Since this is the first part there’s a big part who’s basically just explaining and the rest is some action. I hope I brought out the feelings well :)

Also, I implemented one of my headcanons, that the horns of Zabrak grow a little when they’re happy/excited.

And whoops Reader is a Jedi Shadow again. People might have realized by now but I love them. No one can stop me ok.

Fandoms: Star Wars, The Clone Wars

Warnings: Non-Canon Story, Angst, Fighting, Death, Slight OOC, Original Characters

Summary of this series: Y/N mourns for something she can never have but Maul won’t let her.

Word Count: 7′034

Taglist: @princessayveke @pinkiemme

If you want to be tagged in my stories send me a pm with the fandom/character name! Or comment on the fic :)

Masterlist

Part II

_______

They were children when they first met. He was so young. Only four years old. She was young too. Although 2 years older. He was a born nightbrother, but she didn't belong to the nightsisters.

In fact, her presence on Dathomir had been an accident. The ship that should have brought her to Coruscant crashed after they had been hunted by pirates. When she woke up, she was alone. There was no sign of the Jedi who took her from her parents or anyone else of the ship's crew. Only two curious yellow eyes that watched her from a safe distance.

"Who are you?!"

The first thing she wielded in her life wasn't a lightsaber, no, that would come later. It was a pathetic dry stick from a dead tree. Dathomir didn't have much to offer at the crashsite of her ship, unfortunately.

She held the stick with both hands and proceeded to lie her head off:

"I am the princess from Coruscant, and my knights will kill you if you do anything to me! So come out!"

There was a short silence until a timid voice spoke:

"You're really a princess?"

That's when he first stepped before her, and they met eye to eye. He was a midget. A red midget with the roundest eyes she had ever seen and horns, which made him look like the bounty hunter in her hometown. But unlike that old man, he had strange black marks in his face.

"Of course, I am! Do I not look like one?!"

She never forgot his reply. "No, you look like one. You're beautiful!" Even then, he was already able to sweet talk.

His answer satisfied her and the arrogant child she was, she lowered her weapon and let him approach her. He did eventually, but he froze when she suddenly touched his head and small horns.

"Does your brain not hurt?"

It shouldn't have been possible, but the red skin colored boy turned red some more. Having her hands touching his head everywhere caused his cheeks to heat up.

"E-Everyone has these here!"

He grabbed her hands, and both of them paused. E/C met yellow. His innocent eyes showed her reflection and her dirty state.

Suddenly she had to cry. Sir Jedi was probably dead after all. She left her parents behind, and she really missed her home. And her plushie. Mr. Grog might also be gone after the explosion of their spaceship.

Her tears surprised him and made him panic, something that happened even when they met years later. He tugged at her hands, and she got pulled into his arms. But unfortunately, he really was a squirt, and both of them tumbled to the ground.

His breath got taken away by her, laying on top of him, but he didn't mind. She was so different than the nightsisters he had met. Not disgusted of touching him. He fell in love right there and then. Though he would strongly deny it in the future.

"Why are you crying?"

He put his hand on her hair, and the softness stunned him. She really must be a princess. He petted her slowly, something he saw the older nightsisters do to the younger ones. He could feel her tears wetting his clothes, and her loneliness made his heart clench.

"I'm all alone now!"

But she wasn't, He was there. His hands were like magic. Her tears stopped soon after he began to draw things on her back.

"Y-You have me."

"But I don't know you!"

"My name is ... What's yours?"

"Y-Y/N."

And that's how they got to know each other. He had another name back then but he got rid of it. Maul was his new name. The boy took her to the village, told his mother that he found her all alone. He didn't give away that he had seen another person from the shipwreck.

The nightsisters were suspicious first, but when they found out that she was force sensitive like them, they decided to take her in. For two years, she lived on Dathomir and learned the ways of the nightsisters with Maul as her best friend.

"In the future, I will be your soulmate!"

When she had told her that he almost began to cry. Not a reaction you would expect from someone who really, really liked Y/N.

"NEVER! If you give birth to a child, I'll get killed!"

"Then we just never kiss! We can still be soulmates if we don't kiss, right?"

The fact that they didn't really know anything about love made them say weird things.

Maul wasn't too sure, but they made a promise that they would be soulmates in the future and marry. Although Y/N had to explain to Maul what marrying actually meant - obviously through a child’s eyes - since the customs on Dathomir were different to the ones on her home planet.

He never told her that but when she had explained that marrying basically meant always eating together, sleeping in the same bed and holding hands, he had really liked the idea of such a future. Of course, the young girl only knew the things she had seen from the marriage of her parents.

The whole not kissing aspect was eventually broken, though. Obviously not by him, because he was shy and seriously believed that she would get pregnant if he gave her even just a peck on the lips.

But he really liked her. And she really liked him. So much that she understood that her way of liking him was the same as the way some fallen nightsisters had liked their mates. It was love.

And then one day, when Maul came beaten and bruised from his training as a nightbrother and he laid next to her, Y/N leaned over him and gave him a kiss.

It was short, nothing more than a light peck, but when their lips touched, butterflies burst in her chest and it was as if the whole world lit up.

Maul’s yellow eyes widened and the Zabrak pushed her away out of reflex. She looked at him with a shocked expression.

“NO! What are you doing?!”

Panic was laced in his voice and he grabbed her arms with a little too much strength. Y/N winced and her eyes began to water. The giddy feeling disappeared immediately.

“Wha-What?”, she stammered and he shook her.

“I- I’m not ready! My traini- the baby- we have to leave!”

She just sat there, not understanding why he was so startled. She was more intrigued by the fact that his horns seemed to have grown a little. He suddenly grabbed her hand and dragged her on her feet.

“Hu-hurry, Y/N! Before they find out! Let’s talk with my mother, she’ll help us!”

“Find out what?”

“About the baby!”

And then it blanked on her.

“Oh no.”

And then they hurried back to his home, where Y/N, Maul, his two brothers and his mother resided. A long talk followed and the two children eventually went to bed with different thoughts.

The young girl was somewhat disappointed that she couldn’t have another playmate besides Maul and his brothers but she was also relieved because she now knew that kissing Maul would not make her pregnant. That meant she could do it again. The thought made her grin.

Maul on the other hand was embarrassed, mainly because he had almost cried when they ran into his mother and he had yelled at her to “save Y/N and their baby” but also because he really liked the kiss. But he was also slightly annoyed. I wanted to kiss her first.

“Maul?”

He turned his head to see the other side of the room, where Y/N laid in her small bed. He could see her glistening eyes.

“Ye-Yes?”

“I think I love you.”

A blush crept across his cheeks.

“Okay.”

He couldn’t say it out loud but he said it in his head.

Unknown to both of them, Y/N’s words had been heard by his mother.

When they woke up again the next morning some things had changed. There was the giddy atmosphere between the two, while Maul’s mother looked at them with a rather dark expression. The two would soon find out why.

Their closeness was something the nightsisters didn't like because it spoke against their ideas of mates and they decided to separate them. Both cried and cried for days.

Their bond was strong, after all, and they not only had they lived together for two years but they also played together every day. Since Y/N was taken from her family, Maul had become a replacement and they were close. Really close.

But it was no use. They didn't see each other for a month. And when they finally met again, it was the last time in their childhood.

A republic ship had landed on Dathomir. And they were looking for the girl that was supposed to become a Jedi youngling. The person Maul had seen leaving the space ship was the Jedi Master, who took Y/N from her family. The man had survived for two years alone in the swamps and somehow contacted the Jedi Order to save him and the girl.

According to him, the nightsisters captured her and brainwashed her to join the dark side. Which was bullshit. She realized that later. The things she had learned on Dathomir had saved her life on more than one occasion.

But they arrived and forcefully took her back. 5 Jedi came to her apparent rescue, but the peacekeepers of the galaxy ignored her wails and cries when they dragged her to the ship. She screamed Maul's name and found his face in the crowd who was held back by some soldiers. Don't leave me! pleaded his eyes.

But she did. She had no choice. They didn't even ask if she wanted to go with them. When the ramp of the ship closed, she freed herself from the Jedi's grip and bit him. Hard. The man reacted poorly, unlike a Jedi was supposed to.

He pushed her away, and she fell on the floor. Hateful tears streamed down her cheeks, and she channeled her powers to slam the 5 men against the wall. The force was strong in her, and her emotions boosted it, that's why she succeeded. Three of them got pressed to the wall, the other two who where Jedi masters only slid back a bit. Using the force was tiring, and she slumped. The padawans got released.

"Let me go! I want to go back! I want to go home! Maul! Maul!!"

Her voice was shrill and full of desperation, but they didn't react. Ignored her tantrum and whispered something between themselves.

"Her emotions are way too strong! What is Master Yoda thinking? The dark side has already engulfed her!"

Only one of them didn't say anything. The Jedi watched her with a neutral expression, and she returned the eye contact with a piercing gaze.

I hate you!

As if he had read her thoughts, he snorted and turned to face the others.

"I believe Master Yoda knows what to do with her."

And the Jedi grandmaster did.

He turned her into a Jedi. Made her a youngling, later a padawan - although not his - and then when the High Council thought she was ready, they knighted her.

Over the course of many years, the small girl learned about her special abilities, about the force, about the Jedi, the Dark Side of the force, the responsibility they had to shoulder, and why attachments were forbidden.

Although she had questioned the principles secretly, she never voiced any hesitation or critical questions. When she got separated from Maul she had racked her brains to find out why, although she only realized why when the nightsisters ordered her to read the stories about the Fallen sisters again. After that lesson, she knew well enough when something wasn’t supposed to be said. So she left her doubts unsaid.

When she had arrived at the temple she was unbelievably sad and her heart was hurting. When the Jedi took her from her family, she didn’t really realize what that meant. But being taken from Dathomir after she was a little older and formed such a close bond with Maul, she understood that they had parted and would probably never meet again.

This left her devastated and it took half a year for her to adapt.

Her sadness and arrogant side vanished with time, but her determined character trait stayed and it made her into an extraordinary Jedi.

Y/N was powerful, the secret pride of the grandmaster. Her patience and knowledge were as vast and deep as the seas of Kamino. Her lightsaber skills were unmatched by many of her fellow padawans, and she could even stand her ground against some of the Jedi knights.

Her Master, the guy who had ignored her tantrum, was impressed by her natural affinity for the force. And so he had asked Master Yoda if he could take her as his padawan.

The grandmaster was hesitant at first. Because the man wasn't a Jedi Knight. He was a sentinel, a shadow, to be exact. A path that would undoubtedly be difficult for Y/N, especially since she was found on Dathomir. But he accepted, and she became the padawan of a renowned Jedi Shadow. Yoda was proud, but deep down, also worried. Although he didn't tell her that.

Every youngling had heard about Y/N. Before the rumors of a Chosen One started, there were many about a Prodigy. Her name was whispered during classes, and there were bets and dares in the circles of the younger generations.

"I dare you to confess your love to Y/N L/N!"

"But I don't even like her! Attachment is forbidden, Mia!"

"It's just a game, and we all wanna see if her face will blush! Come on."

But there was one flaw about the prodigy.

One thing that she could not erase. The padawan Y/N L/N ached for something. Someone. And her yearning - she wasn't the only one who knew it - would be her downfall. But she tried to hide it, built walls around that part of her heart and succeeded- until that one day.

[16:00, 32 BBY, Coruscant, Jedi Temple]

"...my only conclusion can be that it was a Sith Lord."

The air in the chamber changed immediately. Qui Gon Jinn, the Jedi reporting the things that happened on Tatooine, held his head up high, his expression was neutral, but the weight of his words was visible in his eyes.

Master Ki turned his head to face Master Yoda and said with a disbelieving undertone:

"Impossible! The Sith have been extinct for a millennium."

"I do not believe they could have returned without us knowing," added Master Windu, and Jinn's padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi furrowed his brows.

Yoda hummed in response, he sighed and then stated:

"Hard to see, the dark side is. Discover who this assassin is, we must."

The other council members nodded, their faces were grim.

"I sense he will reveal himself again," meant Master Ki.

Master Yaddle, who had listened to Jinn's report, silently began to speak up, and when she did, everyone turned. The Jedi all tensed when they heard her words:

"For that, a shadow we should send. Someone in mind, I have. Of help, Leon Ra'eli and his padawan Y/N L/N could be."

The people in the room all had different reactions to the names that were mentioned. Plo Koon and Qui Gon Jinn raised a brow, the padawan of the latter blinked surprised, and Ki-Adi-Mundi, Mace Windu, and Yoda showed a worried expression.

"We must discuss this with the Council of First Knowledge, Master Yaddle," remarked Saesee Tiin and shared a look with the Jedi grandmaster. Yoda nodded slightly.

"I believe Leon would certainly be of help."

Obi-Wan turned to his Master. His eyes clearly asking why the Jedi would speak this freely in front of the council just for another Jedi. He was aware that he was acquainted with the Jedi shadow but the padawan was confused anyway.

Qui Gon hid his hands in his sleeves and bowed slightly when Master Windu frowned at him. Although he was looked at with intimidating stares, he didn't back down and continued:

"I heard he has been training an extraordinary padawan. Both of them would be a great aid if another attack like the one on Tatooine would happen."

Obi-Wan smiled a little, when his Master talked about Y/N. He knew her from his youngling days. And according to the rumors going around, she had truly turned into an exceptional padawan, a proud feeling spread in his chest.

The dark-skinned Jedi Master huffed and then leaned back in his seat.

"This attack on Tatooine was with purpose, that is clear, and I agree the Queen is the target. If a Jedi Shadow and Qui Gon Jinn would remain at her side..."

Yoda nodded slowly.

"With this Naboo queen, you must stay, Qui-Gon. Protect her."

The Jedi bowed.

"Yes, Master."

And that was the beginning of Y/N's doom. That goddamn mission. Something entirely different for the Jedi Shadow in training.

Until now, she had to research old Sith artifacts, go on missions to find lost holocrons, and look for secret Dark Side places with her Master. But that was it. Of course, there was always a certain degree of danger coming with those missions but it was nothing truly worrying, the Dark Side she encountered left her uninterested and funnily she wasn’t scared.

She spent two years on Dathomir, a planet which - according to the Jedi archives - was a space for evil powers. The feeling from those places was familiar and to a certain degree even calming but she didn’t tell her master.

In other words, she never actually came in contact with a Dark Side user much less a Sith. But now she and Leon were assigned to investigate an assassin who could possibly be a Sith, a Sith lord, to be exact.

The tightness in her chest was definitely from her nervousness, but there was also something else to it. She wasn’t scared, the feeling was more like curiosity but Y/N also had a bad premonition about the upcoming task. But she kept her concerns to herself. Like always.

It was night when they left the Jedi temple. Both wore long black robes, and their faces were hidden under their hoods. Master Ra'eli had told her that although they were escorting Queen Amidala, they would not focus on keeping her safe. Both the High Council and the Council of First Knowledge agreed on the priority to catch the potential Sith. Protecting the queen laid in the hands of the two other Jedi.

When Y/N first heard that they would accompany to Jedi knights, Master Qui Gon Jinn and his padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, she was relieved.

She and Obi-Wan were friends when she was a youngling. He was only one year older than her, and although they chose entirely different paths, they parted with good and happy memories.

Obi-Wan had been a pillar in Y/N's life when she had to learn how to accept that she would probably never meet Maul and her parents again. He dried her tears, let her meditate with him and calmed her down when she had a nightmare.

Although they hadn't seen each other in a few years, the padawan believed that they would click again, and everything would be like in their youngling years.

But when she and her Master arrived at the Senate landing platform and everyone was already there, and Leon greeted his fellow Jedi, something happened.

As soon as Y/N laid eyes on Obi-Wan's Master, a sudden pain bolted through her head, and she staggered.

Her hand shot to her forehead, and the padawan grabbed her Master's robe for support. He turned alarmed and watched her with concerned brown eyes when she winced in pain.

A vision flashed before her eyes: black robes, a red and green lightsaber clashing, yellow eyes, and a screaming Obi-Wan.

What...?

"Y/N?"

Her Master's voice took her back to her senses. She looked up to see his and Master Jinn's worried faces. Obi-Wan looked just as disturbed as them.

"I-I think I just had a vision," she whispered weakly and let go of Leon's sleeves.

However, she hadn't regained her balance yet, her legs faltered, and if her Master hadn't grabbed her arm in time, she would have tumbled to the ground.

"A vision?", asked Obi-Wan and the young man shared a look with Qui Gon.

"What did you see, padawan?" he asked, and all three of the Jedi watched her expectantly. She gulped. The feeling in her chest from before became stronger. The eyes in her vision seemed faintly familiar.

"I..." she began hesitantly, "There will be a fight. I think the assassin will show up again. And..." She turned to her Master, her expression grim, "I'm certain he's a Sith. I could feel the wrath and hatred Master. Stronger than in any artifact we ever found."

This revelation was shocking, but only the queen's followers all visibly paled. The three Jedi showed dark expressions. Her Master helped Y/N back on her feet, and she bit her lip.

He looked at her, and she could read in his eyes that the situation was dire.

Trust in your abilities and the force.

Words from her training lessons with Leon resounded in her mind, and she straightened her back. Although she was intimidated now, she would not falter. A Jedi Shadow’s mission was to extinguish the evil that Sith brought into this world. She could not hesitate.

"We will make sure that that Sith will not harm anyone," declared her Master, and the queen nodded. His words seemed to calm her entourage, but Y/N smiled bitterly. If her vision would come true...

No, let’s not worry.

They finally began to board the ship, she gave her Master a tap on the shoulder, and he slightly turned his head. She only formed one word with her lips, but he understood. She had more to tell, but only to him.

While the two other Jedi discussed some political matter with the queen, Leon and Y/N stayed in a separate room to talk about her vision.

“I sense you have something else to say.”

"Master... I worry that one of us will be hurt."

Her confession was difficult to admit for her, after all it was against the emotional walls she had built, but she had to tell him anyway. It concerned the well being of a Jedi.

She expected her Master to be shocked or at least concerned, but his expression remained neutral, as usual. This fact calmed her a little. In all those years she had known her Master, there was never a moment, where the other didn’t control his emotions.

"Did you see that in your vision?"

She nodded and wrung with her hands. Only in her Master's presence could she let her walls down to a certain degree. The force in the room swirled from her uneasiness.

"I think Master Jinn will get injured..."

Leon breathed in slowly and sat down on one of the cots. His face stayed emotionless, but his eyes betrayed him. For a second deep worry glistened in them, and the way he bit his lip also showed how her words got to him. But it was gone when she blinked. She frowned.

Did I imagine that?

"We must trust in the force."

Y/N expected him to add more, but he stayed silent, looking like he was deep in thought. The force in the room rippled, and she knew that he would meditate for the next few hours.

"You can rest if you want to, Y/N," murmured her Master and slipped to the floor, where he sat cross-legged. She shook her head and sat down too. "Let me join you, Master." He looked at her and smiled slightly.

"Okay."

They both began to meditate, and soon the force around them changed again. The change spread through the whole ship, and the two other Jedi got distracted from their discussions.

Obi-Wan and Qui Gon exchanged a glance, and both thought the same. The Jedi Master voiced their thoughts: "Don't worry, your Majesty. You are in good hands, and with Master Ra'eli and his padawan here, the Sith will not have a chance."

But he was wrong. Horribly wrong.

And then they met.

It was as if the earth stopped spinning.

The corner of her lips lifted, her face displayed many emotions. Worry turned into shock, shock turned into surprise, and surprise turned into joy. Her heart began to beat faster and it was so loud and strong that she believed that it could shake the whole planet.

He had grown up. Some more tattoos got added in his face and he now resembled the look of other nightbrothers who lived on Dathomir, it gave him a domineering appearance and her heart skipped a beat. It was familiar but at the same time, it wasn’t.

His eyes had also changed, the color was slightly different. The beautiful yellow that had reminded Y/N of the sun now held traces of red, and they were burning with a fire that she couldn’t quite place.

But the force seemed to cry out in pain and the luring darkness in his force presence alarmed her. Something was wrong.

Although she recognized him immediately, this was not the boy she had met on Dathomir, this wasn't the friend she had longed for, not the kid she had dreamt about, not the boy who promised to marry her and whom she kissed. This person before her was a Sith, her enemy.

And it broke her heart.

While the queen's guards scattered and left, her grip around her lightsaber faded, and a second later, she dropped it. The impact resounded loudly in her head as if a bomb had detonated. She couldn’t hear anything else. Not the leaving footsteps of the security forces, not her Master calling out her name, nor how the queen asked Qui Gon Jinn how to proceed.

His name rushed over her lips, and he frowned and looked at her.

Then his eyes widened, and the tattoos in his face twisted in realization. He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

His focus moved, and she noticed how her Master had activated his lightsaber beside her.

"You know him, padawan?" asked Master Ra'eli calmly, and she could only nod.

Maul stiffened from their interaction and grabbed his lightsaber. Her Master stepped forward, and suddenly her lightsaber was once again in her hand. She gripped it so hard, her knuckles turned white.

"So, this is him? From 16 years ago? Oh, Y/N."

Leon's words hit her right in the gut. She had confessed how dearly she missed Maul when she became his padawan - although leaving out the part about their promise and kiss - and her Master had reacted as any other Jedi would have.

Attachments are forbidden, padawan. You will forget these feelings soon.

When she first had heard those words, she felt crushed.

Was her connection to Maul really something bad? Somehow she couldn't believe that emotions were able to come without attachments. Weren't Jedi supposed to keep the people of the galaxy safe? Wouldn't her bond with Maul motivate her to make sure he's alright?

And it wasn't like she obsessively loved him, like all those fallen Jedi she had to read about in the archives after she told her Master about her feelings. The Zabrak was her best friend. Nothing more. Or nothing more came out of their friendship. Or that's at least what she had told herself, completely disregarding that they had kissed and she was the one who initiated it. She was in denial.

But now that they finally met again, it turned out that he was the Sith Lord, and her heart was literally being torn apart. In the end, there was no mistake, Y/N did love Maul. But not this version of him in front of her.

The padawan felt torn. The Zabrak before her eyes was her old best friend and they had sworn to be there for each other until the day they died. They had promised to marry. They kissed. She told him she loved him. But on the other hand, he appeared to be the enemy of the principles she had been taught for years. Two years against sixteen. The winner was obvious.

"You... I remember you."

The Zabrak clenched his fists tighter around his lightsaber and activated it. The red blades flared, and they seemed to represent the force around them, which was churning from the Sith's anger.

The padawan didn't know if he was addressing her because he didn't waste another second to look at her. But that was fine because she was sure that another eye contact with him would break down the walls she had built for the last decade. Also, she wasn’t sure if she would do something against the Jedi code if he addressed her directly.

Qui Gon and Obi-Wan seemed to have realized that something was going on between Y/N and the Sith because they sent the queen with the security forces and stayed, ready to assist Leon and his padawan.

It was against their plan but the man before them apparently was dangerous enough for them to change it.

Obi-Wan stepped up to her, his lightsaber activated and he held it up defensively. His hand touched her back, and he whispered:

"Y/N? Get a hold of yourself."

Her head snapped in his direction, and he gave her a reassuring smile, although he appeared nervous.

"Jedi!", snarled Maul and his eyes burned with rage when he dropped his robe and then suddenly leaped forward to attack.

Y/N's heart skipped a beat and she flinched. She couldn't tell if it was because he seemed to run towards her or because his overbearing aura intimidated her, but it didn't matter because the Zabrak couldn’t reach her.

Her Master stepped before her, and his yellow dual lightsaber skillfully parried Maul's attack.

"You are outnumbered, Sith."

Qui Gon didn't waste a second and also jumped into the fight, their lightsabers clashed, and sparks flew. Obi-Wan gave her a glance and then joined in. The strange look he gave her took Y/N back to her senses, and she activated her own lightsaber.

It was also dual-bladed and yellow, although her hilt was from Orichalc material and wrapped with leather for a better grip. The yellow glow calmed her down to a certain degree, and the familiarity of the blade in her hand cleared her head temporarily.

I need to talk with him! There must be a misunderstanding!

Her eyes focused on the Sith and the three other Jedi who had already gained a certain distance from her. She ran after them and noticed that they passed into the Theed power generator facility.

"Master, wait!"

The fighting Jedi ignored her shout and performed a series of fierce attacks, which all got fended off by Maul. Qui Gon aimed for the Sith's legs, but the Zabrak avoided his lightsaber and somersaulted backward on the bridge.

Y/N's heart pounded loudly in her ears, worry filled her chest, worry for her fellow Jedi and also Maul. In the end, she couldn't ignore her heart.

She used the force to jump forward a considerable distance and now stood next to Obi-Wan. She felt light-headed, partly because of the adrenaline rush from the whole situation but also because she was slightly scared of heights.

"I know him, Master Jinn, stop attacking!" she turned her head to the Sith, calling out his name: "let's talk, please! Do you not remember m-"

Before she could finish, the Zabrak pushed his hands forward, and she was sent flying by the force. Everything she had been taught, all the techniques and rules for a fight. It was as if she had forgotten them when her eyes laid on Maul. The prodigy acted like a youngling and she had to pay the price for it.

Her back hit the wall of the room, and something broke. Black dots flooded her vision, and pain burst through her whole body.

She couldn't hear clearly because her head was ringing, but she believed that someone had shouted her name. Although she couldn't be sure because before she could open her eyes again, she temporarily fell unconscious.

It felt like a long time but was indeed only a minute later, that she woke up. Her thought process was slow when she stirred.

It hurts.

It hurts!!

A groan escaped her lips, and something warm dampened the back of her head.

Is this how you feel in the Trial of the Flesh? If so, then I don't want to become a full Jedi... I can't believe he attacked me, Maker...

Her thoughts were all over the place, dizziness caused her vision to blur, and her mind wandered from the pain to the Jedi Trials, the archives, her time on Dathomir, and to Maul. Her injuries hurt like hell but she was almost crying from the pain in her heart.

What happened to him? How could he... Has he really fallen to the Dark Side?

She tried to move upright and used the force to calm her fluttering nerves.

Focus.

Focus!

The blurriness of her vision vanished, and she finally saw clearly again, right on time for her to catch a glimpse of Obi-Wan running past some laser doors at the other end of the gigantic room.

I must stop them!

Her legs felt like jelly when she tried to stand up, and although her balance was undoubtedly off, she was still able to stand. Not without feeling immense pain, though. Y/N was sure that she had at least three broken ribs.

Let go of the pain.

She remembered her training and breathed in and out slowly. She closed her eyes for a second to concentrate on the force, and she was able to feel the fierce battle that took place at the other end of the bridge. Anxiety welled up again but she ignored it with gritted teeth.

The padawan began to move forward, slowly at first, then she picked up the pace and limped over the bridge towards the laser doors, ignoring the fact that she had lost her lightsaber somewhere.

When she crossed the bridge her legs almost gave out. She had tried not to look down, her fear of heights couldn’t stop her in this crucial moment, but now she felt the adrenaline rush and it almost made her fall over.

It was then when she reached the first laser door when she felt the cry in the force.

A life got critically injured. And guessing from Obi-Wan's scream, it was his Master's.

Y/N stumbled. The pain in the force was breathtaking. Emotions that didn't belong to her filled her chest and grief caused her eyes to prick.

What shocked her, even more, was that her Master seemed to hurt as much as Qui Gon's padawan. The Jedi Shadow had shouted the other man's name when he got impaled, and now through the flaring red doors, she could see Leon swinging his sword wildly to attack Maul and the Zabrak defending himself.

Why...?

The force presence of her Master seemed off, and his erratic movements void from any specific form proved that he lost himself to his emotions.

The fact that the usually composed Leon Ra'eli now fought like that caused her fists to clench.

Why is he acting like that?! This contradicts everything he ever taught me!

This scared her more than the potential death of Qui Gon Jinn.

Obi-Wan seemed to burn with rage too. His shoulders lifted with every breath he took, and she could sense his anger mixed with grief and anguish.

Y/N heaved with all the sudden emotions she had to experience. Her guts twisted when she sensed pleasure, and it took her a second to realize that Maul was the one who was very pleased about the injury of the Jedi Master.

This was the ultimate proof that the Zabrak who fought against Leon wasn't the midget from Dathomir. But before she could spill even one tear over that fact, the laser doors got deactivated, and Obi-Wan jumped forward to attack the Sith.

She began to run, but she wasn't fast enough, her wounds slowed her down. The pain was almost unbearable and the whole situation seemed to test her entire being. The doors activated before her nose, and she staggered.

Right, when she caught her balance again, Obi-Wan slashed Maul's lightsaber in two, and her Master pushed the Sith towards the edge with the force.

The Zabrak was able to catch himself in time and jumped forward, his lightsaber only one blade now. He snarled and swung his weapon at the two Jedi, but they seemed to finally have the high ground and attacked him mercilessly.

Y/N watched with sweaty hands how the Zabrak got pushed into defense, and although she should root for her fellow Jedi, although it was obvious that he wanted to kill them all, although he clearly engulfed the Dark Side, she couldn't stop herself from worrying for Maul.

Please stop fighting! Just stop!

She feared for all of them, which didn't make sense for her head, but her heart ignored all her rational thoughts. It almost leaped out of her chest when Obi-Wan got force pushed into the melting pit, but from the way the other two men acted, he was still alive. Immense relief washed over her and her knees buckled.

Y/N felt dizzy from all the feelings she had to deal with, and the fact that she hit her head and even bled to some extent gave her body one more reason why to falter. She had to hold her head because it felt like a bullet was shot through it.

The pain distracted her from the fight, and when she looked up again, her and Maul's eyes suddenly met.

He looked at her, over Obi-Wan's shoulder, who had suddenly appeared, his face full of shock and... regret?

It took her a second to notice the lack of fighting between the two men. They just stood there, Obi-Wan held the lightsaber of his Master in his hand and his pose looked like he had just taken a large swing.

Was it over? Did they finally calm down and listen?

Y/N opened her mouth to say something when time seemed to slow down, Maul’s lightsaber deactivated, and he slowly fell backward.

His and her eyes found themselves again, and while hers widened in panic, his slightly closed as if the Zabrak was smiling at her. His lips formed something but she was too panicked to focus on it.

Before a scream could erupt from her throat, he was gone.

He was gone.

The laser doors opened again. Obi-Wan didn't waste a second glance and rushed to his Master's side, where her own Master already knelt. He laid Qui Gon's head in his lap.

"Master! Master!"

The pain in Obi-Wan's voice reflected the one the female padawan was feeling. Some words were whispered between the dying Jedi and his student, but Y/N didn't hear any of it.

No, no. No, NO!

She slowly stood up, her legs shaking, and she made her way into the room. Her eyes solely focused on the cooling pit. A wail escaped her lips, and she tried to form his name, although she failed. She couldn’t form a single word. She couldn’t bring herself to look over the edge. Her breath quickened and she panted as if she just ran for her life.

Hey.

Y/N.

You changed. Not so small anymore, huh?

Things happened after you left. And you have no right to say anything, you would barely reach my chin with your height.

A small smile formed on her lips. Her eyes were strangely empty.

Why did you become...?

A Sith? I'm not. This is all a misunderstanding.

Right? I knew it. You would never turn to the Dark Side. You would never.

The padawan sank to her knees at the edge, eyes still trained on the hole before her. Her hands were violently shaking and she gripped her robes with such a force that her knuckles turned white.

...?

Hmmm?

Where did you go?

What do you mean? I'm right here with you.

Of course. There's no way you're...

Y/N turned her head slightly, and a grey object on the ground near the wall caught her eye. With a flick of her wrist, she absently minded caught the severed lightsaber half and traced it with trembling fingers.

There's no way you're dead.

There were a thousand thoughts in her mind right now, but the one that stood out the most was the fact that Obi-Wan had cut Maul in half.

Obi-Wan Kenobi, her friend from the Jedi had killed her best friend from Dathomir.

"Let me carry him, Obi-Wan."

The weak voice of her Master invaded her thoughts, and she slowly turned to the two other Jedi and the corpse.

We Jedi do not kill, Y/N. Only if it’s absolutely necessary. Preserving a life is more important, even if they are tainted by the Dark Side. Sith can be saved too. Darth Revan is proof of that. Never forget this.

Liar.

In the end, 2 years appeared to be stronger than 16.

The killer held his Master's dead body, and the shaking of his shoulders gave his sadness away. She felt nothing for him, neither pity, nor worry. She was completely numb.

There is no death, there is the force, do you not know your own code?

"We must report back to the temple," was all she said. Her voice was unnaturally cold.

Her Master looked at her, his expression was heartbroken, and she had to turn her gaze away. Or else he would have seen her hateful stare.

For the first time in her life, Y/N truly despised the Jedi and their hypocrisy.

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mama-ghostie-61542 · 3 years

Text

A Thousand Lifetimes

Rated M++ for language and themes

If you recognize it--IT AIN'T MINE

Sorry for OOC-ness

Chapter 8

Min PoV

At around six that evening, we all came into the common room in the dorm. Something smelled really good. There, at the table, sat Kihyun with a bowl of something. Every bite or so, he would smile slightly.

HyunWoo swept past me. His nose was twitching as he made his way over to the table, like a hound on a scent trail.

"What is that," he asked.

"Gumbo. Do you want a taste?"

HyunWoo nodded and Kiki handed him up a spoonful.

About that time, Changkyun settled at the far end of the table with a bowl of his own. "Good gumbo," he said to Kihyun.

Kiki grinned. "Didn't you could get gumbo in Boston."

"If you know where to look, you can get any thing, any where."

"Well, there is plenty. I couldn't find a smaller recipe that didn't have measurements in dashes and pinches."

Somehow, the subject of conversation over those bowls became past lives and all the stuff that came with them. After dinner, we moved into the living space to continue the conversation.

"You will find your sister is well versed in the subject of past lives."

"Of course she is," HyunWoo grumbled as he sat up, only to be cuffed in the back of the head by HyungWon.

"Do not speak about your sister like that when she is right there," he groused as he pointed to the space right behind Kihyun.

To which said spirit piped up, "Thanks, Pop."

HyungWon smiled slightly, "Don't mention it. Seriously, don't mention it. It is weird enough to see my past life child across the room, but to see her spirit across the room is a whole different matter. You had best not be dead, young lady," he paused. "Or I will come to hell and kick your butt."

"No, Ate," she chuckled. "Projecting; not dead."

"Good," he growled. "Please go back to your body, Youngling, before it dies. Or you get lost."

"Yes, Ate. Of course, Ate," she chuckled as she returned to Kihyun's side.

He could be seen to turn his head slightly, before whispering, "Love you," to her.

With that, her spirit went back to where she was.

HyungWon settled against the arm of the other chair and glared at Kihyun, "So, it's you again. Come to steal my child away again, Hawk?"

"I didn't steal her," Kihyun yelled.

"A good Lakota girl does not allow herself to be stolen!"

"She was still a Ghost! There was nothing I could have done!"

"Nothing but bring her home," HyungWon yelled.

"Which I did!"

"Eventually! It still cost me my daughter!"

"Yes, It did! It cost me too, Ate! Do you think I haven't had to carry that guilt since? It should have been me," Kihyun yelled back as tears pooled in his eyes. "It should have been me," He sobbed as his head fell into his hands and he proceeded to wrap his hands in his own hair. "It always should have been me."

HyungWon's face softened, "What happened?"

"Which life," he answered with a chuckle as tears coursed down his cheeks in twin rivers. "More times than I care to count she has thrown herself between me and death."

"How many," HyungWon asked.

"At least four."

"Was this when I was her father?"

"No. The soldiers were closing in and she sent the boys and I away with the elders and children. I refused to leave her. She had Swan knock me out. We were almost to safety when I came to. It wasn't long after that I felt it. I felt her cross the veil and there was nothing I could do. It's all my fault. If I had been there with her. It's all my fault, Ate."

"Hawk," HyungWon started, before getting out of the chair and sitting on the coffee table in front of Kihyun. "If I know my child as well as I did, it most assuredly was not your fault. She was as stubborn as the day is long, and to sacrifice for you or the younglings was without question. Where do you think she picked up that particular trait," he asked as he pointed to himself. "If the roles had been reversed, would you have sacrificed for her?"

"In a heartbeat," he replied through his tears. "But she never gives me that chance. Or the choice."

"We rarely get to choose how those we care for leave us, young one," he said as he reached out and put a hand on Kihyun's shoulder. "But you have been gifted another chance. Don't let the guilt throw it away before it has the chance to fly."

"Really? Is this you giving me your blessing, Ate?"

HyungWon nodded. "Go. Chase that spirited filly and join roads with her. I get it now, you two were always meant to be. No matter how much others may not like it. I know I won't need to give you the same warning her soul brothers, no doubt, already have."

"Yeah. If I ever hurt her," He trailed off.

HyungWon nodded as he looked at me. "Good. Don't give us a reason."

"I know, Ate," he sighed, deeply, while thinking for a second before revealing the next bit of truth. "The memories and guilt are what drove me to drink last time, and why I don't drink much this life. In that grief, you do one of two things; you drown in it, or you remember your training. The ones we love never really leave us. But, it hurt so bad, I died a little more every day. The only thing that dulled the pain was to drown it."

"And instead, you drowned yourself in it," Changkyun yelled from behind me.

I turned to see him shaking with rage, but tears of grief and frustration coursing down his face.

"How can you stand to listen to him, Pop. After everything he put us through!"

"Mahipiya," HyungWon roared, "That is enough!"

"Have you ever felt your soul tearing itself apart," Kihyun asked, softly, his pain visible on his face.

"No," Changkuyn answered, as he looked away.

"And thank God for that," Kihyun said, his voice soft and low. "That pain is indescribable, son. I hope to God you never feel like that. No one had to tell me when she crossed over, I knew. I almost died with her. In fact, a part of me did," Kihyun sighed. "It is my hope that you find someone like her. Someone who you never really need to talk to, who fits your imperfections perfectly. I hope that you have a long, happy life with her, and that you pass before she does. Because that gaping hole in your life, will kill you. Our souls are tied together, I felt her die. In that life, she was 500 miles away, and I felt it. As it sits, your mother is alone, on the other side of the Earth, with most of our memories."

"Where," Changkyun asked.

Kihyun just shook his head slowly. "Somewhere in the States, in the Midwest."

Nodding, Changkhyun asked, "Any clues?"

Kihyun shook his head. "I will tell you this, though. She and I are balance and dualities. Where I am fastidious, organized, and conservative, she is a hot mess; organized chaos, and as wild and free as the wind. The things I apologize for, she refuses to. It's not that she doesn't see her imperfections, but she has just moved past them. Her focus is internal, while mine is external. Where I worry about how others see me, she has grown past it, to only worry about how she sees herself. It took years for her to be bold enough to say exactly what she means. I find, I'm still learning that feat. You are like her in a lot of ways."

"I am?"

"You are. Your 'take me as I am' attitude, that's her."

"We'll find her, Ate," Changkyun whispered as he laid his hand on Kihyun's shoulder.

A/N) --I tried with the Lakota.

Ate (Ahhh-tae) Father/Dad

Mahipiya (MAH hee pee yah) Cloud

Also--If you really watch, HyungWon seems to have the oldest soul of the bunch. When they are goofing off, he is almost always off to the side, arms crossed over his chest, with a look that screams--'I'm too old for this crap.' It's also why I think he would be the coolest granddad ever--"You want ice cream for breakfast? Sure, Squirt, just don't tell your mom."

And, yes, they have seen multiple lives together. Some lives pass uneventfully, if not empty, having never felt the other. Those lives are long, but lonely. Others are short, but messy; brutal and chaotic.

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