#yes i know cats fish

[existennialmemes]

This is a tired cliche, but I still can't believe cats are real. What a wildly improbable animal, like:

Miniature carnivore, will hunt the pests in your house for sport

Alters their mews to sound cuter for specifically Their People

Vibrates at a soothing frequency??

Well versed in Crime and Subterfuge

Will eat trash. GodDAMNIT THAT IS PLASTIC!! STOP EATING TRASH!!

Soft. Like so soft. Forever. Not just while they're babies.

Eyes do That Thing (nictitating membrane) most mammals don't do that. You aren't even aquatic! You don't even like water!!

[fumifooms]

Chilchuck you’re so fucking funny wtf do you mean with Izu it’s "byeee" and with Marcille it’s "if you die I die". You ass

Chapter 69 vs chapter 92 Results:

Be so serious my guy

[wyvernquill]

“I will see you in the year of Our Lord 1489, then!”

“Friendship. I think you’re lonely.”

---

Some quick and dirty Aristocats AU(?) screenshot redraws inspired by this post by @fishfingersandscarves (and @10moonymhrivertam​‘s tags on it)!

[afoxysunny]

Make way for the cutest Meatlanders you've ever seen

Fish cats!

Look at them! Aren't they so much fun? I literally cannot pick a fav, i want them all as pets

Get it? Fish Cats

Bc cats and fish

Not that into meat? Try -

- Candia, - Ceresia, - Dairy Islands, - Fructera, - Vegetania & veggy part 2

[saltedsnails]

I DID NOT JUST SEE THAT SOMEONE HEADCANONED BLAKE'S FAVORITE FOOD AS TUNA.

BE ORIGINAL.

FUCK. DO I HAVE TO MAKE A HEADCANON LIST THAT IS ACTUALLY NOT TONE-DEAF?

[keeps-ache]

porch time porch time woowoo !! :D

[warriorcatsunveiled]

River Clan

[wildstar25]

MiqoMarch Day 16 - Summer

"C'mon Fish it's time for a bath!" *chuckling* "Seems to me you'd best re-think that name of his"

Nothing says "summer" like a trip to Costa del Sol with your partner and companion 🏝️

[goldenguillotines]

Saying the words Self ship beams Milo into my brain at speeds that could kill.

[hyper-tense]

Made a new redesign of my Felix cat for my three cat tails AU! I give you Chat Magique!

[yuridovewing]

Given that the cats name their kittens after frightening predators all the time and suffer no real consequences for that, it’s just a casual thing (Badgerfang, Foxleap, etc.) I think someone should name their child Twolegkit. For the bit.

[boy-above]

some people lose all critical thinking skills upon seeing an animal video

[telomirage]

"back then these weren't fish people. I was really explicit about how not fish people they were and I lost, so now they're fish people" - friends at the table: counter/weight (prequel) without context

[wandering-wolf23]

Good lord, Sissy, why?

[victorluvsalice]

We've hit Winter Monday in the Chill Valicer Save with this update, still racing to try and fill up the last shelves in the store so we can actually OPEN Van Liddelton Groceries at some point! Let's start right where we left off, with the gang working on making product and getting through their morning chores on the farm --

-->In fact, we are starting almost exactly where we left off, as right after Alice decided to curl up for a wolf nap on the floor of the barn, Kelly wandered in and started meowing in her ear, waking her up. XD A very annoyed Alice lectured the cat on not doing that, and to my surprise, Kelly not only listened, but actually learned Not To Wake Sims Up! So that was nice, at least. However, as she was already awake, Alice dragged herself over to the bulk processing machine to make some boxes of strawberry and raspberry jam, then used her werewolf super-speed to go have a REAL sleep in her and Victor's bed. A lot more comfortable than the barn floor, that's for sure!

-->While this was going on, Smiler finished off another chatterbot, then got sent out on a different mission -- mainly, they got exiled to the nearby pond to fish on the pier! No, I did not care that it was snowing at the time, Smiler's a vampire and thus immune to temperature. XD My goal there was to load up on fishies because I'd abruptly remembered that there was a product on the bulk processor that I hadn't even TRIED to make before -- namely, cans of processed fishcakes! And of course, for fishcakes, you need fish, and Smiler is the Sim who has the most experiencing fishing, so. . .they basically spent the rest of the morning on that dock, doing their best to stock their inventory with as much fish as possible. And as you can see, they made some impressive catches -- in the end, they ended up with a beautiful tuna, a couple of sturgeons, a couple of common upgrade parts, some perches, a minnow, and no less than FOUR catfish, who apparently REALLY like the chamomile Smiler was using as bait. Not bad at all, huh?

-->Victor, meanwhile, spent a good portion of his morning molding candles in canary yellow and shale gray shades -- which, as you can see, involves a lot of boring standing around. Like, seriously, can we speed this process up a little? *sigh* He did eventually complete both candles and headed over to the greenhouse to tend the plants -- I do have to admit, it is always kind of amusing to see him using that giant weed vacuum to suck the dandelions right out of the garden patches. XD His needs were looking like garbage after the initial tending, though, so -- after realizing he didn't have any Potions of Plentiful Needs in his inventory -- I grabbed him some Moodlet Solver so he could get himself back in tip-top shape and get on that harvest! Can't let the plants remain unpicked, after all!

-->Alice woke up in good time thanks to how great her and Victor's bed is, and quickly rejoined the productivity train -- after cleaning the litter boxes, cleaning herself (with the power of werewolf licking), and feeding Toothy, she was back on the bulk processor making boxes of cheese with the milk I'd preloaded in there! She also made some more bulk bags of sugar for canning purposes, which, hilariously, unlocked the Simple Living Cookbook as a book she could write. I -- I don't think making an industrial-sized sack of fruit-based sugar on a giant yellow bulk food processing machine is QUITE in keeping with the spirit of the Simple Living lot trait, game! Even if it DOES require Alice to have all the necessary ingredients. XD

-->With the crops harvested and the cookbook unlocked (and Smiler still very much on fishing duty), it was time to tend to the animals. Alice cleaned the chicken coop, made sure everyone was fed, and gathered the eggs (four normal nonhatchable ones, yay), while Victor checked up on Moory and gave her a good milking. Alice then hopped back on the bulk processor to make the first box of canned fishcakes from the fish Smiler had caught so far while I dumped a bunch of the wrapped white meat from the chickens she'd "sold," some custard, and some blueberries in her inventory for transport to the store. And got HER a Moodlet Solver as well as her own needs were starting to flag. She then made a bit more cheese and did a quick Somber Howl while Victor cleaned up all the various plates around the place (surprising me when he did so in the greenhouse -- I'd forgotten the sink that's on the decorative "potting bench" I put in there is actually, you know, a legit sink)...

And then, after a brief dance break in the living room, it was time to get Smiler back and send everybody off to the store! Because, as previously stated, we have SHELVES TO FILL, DAMN IT. No fun allowed until that happens!

[woso-dreamzzz]

Second Time's The Charm

Alexia Putellas x Reader

Summary: You and your kind of ex-wife

Lips smashed against yours before you could even compute what was going on.

They were still as soft as ever and you opened your own so Alexia could slip her tongue inside.

"Hi," She said, pulling away slowly.

"Hi."

You smiled at her.

She looked nearly the same as when you divorced her and left the country. The same cheeks. The same nose. The same eyes. The same awkward little smile on her face.

“I missed you,” She said,” I heard from Alba you were coming home and I couldn’t believe it. I missed you!”

“I missed you too, Ale.”

Her arms were open and you stepped into them. They were just as familiar as they were when you broke up and you melted into them now.

“Sorry,” Someone said,” What the fuck?! Alexia, you’re dating now?!”

Both you and Alexia looked at Mapi in confusion.

“No. Why would you think that?”

“Because you just started snogging her in front of all of us,” Lucy replied, hands shoved into her pockets casually,” I thought we were meant to be meeting the new medic but, no, I guess you were really getting acquainted.”

You laughed, shaking your head fondly as Alexia pouted, her arms tightening around you just like they did years ago when Alba teased you for being mushy.

“She’s my wife,” Alexia insisted, stamping her foot.

“Ex-wife,” You butted in quickly as the team’s mouths fell open in shock. Very few of them had been on the team the same time you and Alexia had been married, childhood sweethearts that eloped the day after you both turned eighteen.

Alexia laughed nervously and you narrowed your eyes.

You recognised that laugh. You’d heard that laugh for years when she pretended to a teacher that her homework was just in her locker and that’s why she hadn’t handed it in or when she promised Eli that she wasn’t the one that broke her favourite glass cabinet and it was really her who had kicked a football right through it.

You knew that laugh very well.

“Alexia,” You said, teeth gritted,” What did you do?”

“Now, amor,” She said,” Just remember that-“

“Alexia, confess!”

“I may have forgotten to file the papers.”

“Alexia!” You snapped before sighing. A bubble of laughter emerged from your throat until you were trapped in an almost hysterical laughing fit. “We signed them together. At the kitchen table. How did you forget?”

“I promise I was going to!” She insisted,” But I had other stuff to do and it just got buried and Mama did some cleaning and she must have shredded them on accident!”

“Alexia, that was years ago! Are you saying that we’re still married?”

“That depends.”

“On?”

“On which answer will get me in trouble.”

Fondly, you tugged on her ponytail. “You are so lucky I love you.”

She grinned. “Enough to stay married?”

You shrugged. “Well, it’s a hassle to file the papers and work out the separation of assets again.”

“Oh, thank god.” Alexia fished something out of her pocket and it was only when she slid it onto your finger again that you recognised it as your wedding ring. She was the one that had bought them and while you knew that hers had remained on a chain around her neck, you hadn’t ever wondered what had happened to yours after you returned it.

You just assumed it had been thrown to the bottom of her jewellery box.

“Have you been carrying that around since you found out I was coming home?”

Like a professional, she skirted around your question. “Home! You need to move in again! The clothes you left all got put into a storage locker so we should probably swing by there after work. Your office is practically the same but kind of dusty so I’ll clean it up while you unpack.”

You nodded, mulling over the plan in your head. “You know that if I have back in then so does Mr Stinky.”

Alexia wrinkled her nose in disgust. “You still have him?”

“Yes, Ale! Just because I moved to England doesn’t mean I abandoned my cat!”

She pursed her lips before admitting. “I think there’s still a few of his toys under the sofa. I can never manage to get them all.”

“And I want the left side of the bathroom sink.”

She nodded before freezing. “Hey! Wait, no! That’s my side! That’s always been my side! You can’t just take it!”

You flashed your ring. “You want this to work? I want the left side of the sink.”

“Well…I want…I want…I want the right side of the dresser!”

“Done!”

“Done!”

“Sorry, no,” Mapi butted in. You’d almost forgotten that you were meant to be introducing yourself to the team. “Not done. Let me get this straight. You two got married, divorced but not really and now you’ve decided to get back together?!”

You shrugged. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“But you divorced!” It was clear that she was struggling to wrap her head around this.

“It wasn’t really a breakup though,” Alexia said flippantly,” We still hooked up every time she came home. We only really tried to get a divorce because she was leaving for England. I was clingy when I was younger.”

The whole team pointedly stared at Alexia’s hands on your waist and how they hadn’t moved but to put your ring back on your finger.

“Clingier,” You amended,” And I needed to leave for more money. We decided it would just be easier to get divorced but I guess that didn’t work out.”

“Oh!” Alexia said suddenly,” I need to tell Mama! She’ll be so happy! She’s always talking about you to everyone.”

“Oh, I’m glad. I’ll have to call my Mama too. She’s always telling people that her daughter-in-law is Alexia Putellas. You’ll have to come to Sunday lunch this week. My aunts and uncles will be there.”

“Next week we’ll go to mine then,” Alexia agreed,” Mama will want you to try her paella again. She tweaked the recipe.”

“Oh, great! I love Eli’s paella. My-“

“No!” Mapi said, pointing at both of you in turn,” This is moving so quickly. I’m sorry but what the hell?!”

“Oh,” You said,” I didn’t introduce myself properly. I’m y/n. I’m the new doctor on the team. Alexia’s…well I was going to say ex but apparently we’re still married so I’m Ale’s wife! I look forward to getting to know you all.”