#yes i intentionally made him goofy while eating

[pink-key]

AAAJAKDKNSB CAN WE PLEASE SEE MORE YOUNG TOBY?? HE’S BABY!!

I wanted to doodle a bit of smol Tobs today, might as well grab some asks along. A chaotic canvas of sketches yes, unorginized like Tobs' soul. I listened to this song too much while drawing this and this one. Love how his mother forgor about his existence. Although when I was younger I hoped for some sort of sequel where he briefly meets her, but the author went bonkers lmao.

[ptersparkers]

the art of eating pussy (5)

summary: upon realizing you lack skills in the bedroom when a touron asks you out on a date, you turn to jj, a self-proclaimed sexual deviant, for help.

warnings: smut, y’all. 

notes: i haven’t been in the right headspace to right recently and wanted to give my reads something of quality and substance, not something to rush just for satisfaction. behold, chapter five.

co-authored and co-written with @storiesbymads​. SHOW MY WIFE SOME LOVE.

add yourself to my taglist + series masterlist 

JJ’s hung up. 

You’d been spending less time at the Chateau in favor of spending time with Trent since it was the last week that he’d be on the island. His mind was racing, conflicted with the thoughts of your mouth on Trent and his lips on your neck. The night of the party had been the worst moment of the week and his jaw hurt from clenching by the time he ended up crashing out on John B’s couch. JJ always drank to forget and that night wasn’t an exception. 

He knew it wasn’t just about sex with you anymore. It wasn’t about the opportunity for him to get off by the hand of someone else. It wasn’t about him taking advantage of you. There was nothing complicated about the two of you in the bedroom. 

But outside of the bedroom, JJ’s head was spinning every time you said goodbye or forced him out the door because your parents were home. He didn’t have to think when he was with you; JJ knew what you wanted and knew what to expect. He knew that his time alone with you was the product of these lessons but that didn’t mean he had to think of this time as anything but passionate. When his tongue wasn’t down your throat, he was thinking about the tight feeling in his chest that left him wondering what was going to happen once you told him it was over because he didn’t want this to end.

JJ hadn’t thought about the lessons ending until he saw you tucked underneath Trent’s arm at the party. This whole situation wasn’t friends with benefits and he knew it, which is why it messed with his head so much. Yes, there was the whole “no strings attached” ordeal, but this wasn’t just one of you calling the other for sex. This was much more complicated. You were one of JJ’s best friends but the only difference is you’d seen him naked, intentionally. 

His thoughts are preoccupied with the idea that once the lessons end, you might still be with Trent despite him no longer being on the island. JJ would have to go back to being just friends and he’d have to pretend that he never saw you naked. He’d have to pretend he didn’t revel in the thought of you trembling beneath him. The other Pogues, to his knowledge, had no idea that the both of you were fooling around and he didn’t know if it was something he wanted to disclose. On one hand, he wanted a second opinion on whether or not this was something healthy. On the other hand, he knew what they would say; that JJ didn’t care about catching feelings and it was unlikely that he would consider succumbing to being a boyfriend. He knew he’d expressed his disdain for relationships in the past, but now he wasn’t so sure. 

You ended up skipping out on the last two beach sessions in favor of Trent. Pope had decided to stay behind on the sand with JJ while Sarah, Kiara, and John B. enjoyed themselves under the warmth of the sun and the contrasting coolness of the ocean waves. Pope could sense something was amiss when JJ was the first to propose having a relaxing afternoon and hadn’t shown up with his surfboard tucked underneath his arm. 

“Something’s up,” Pope stated. “Something’s been up for a while and I didn’t want to say anything about it until I knew for sure, but something’s definitely up.” JJ shook his head. 

“It’s nothing.” Pope nudged JJ with his shoulder. 

“C’mon, man. You don’t want to surf, your mind is a million miles from where you are, and not to mention, this entire week you’ve been moody.”

“I’m not moody,” JJ muttered with a scowl, flicking at a clump of sand near his foot. Pope’s mouth formed a knowing smile. JJ sighed. “Okay, I’ve been moody.” 

“What’s up? Is it your dad again?” 

“No,” JJ replied softly. “I just think life is bullshit.”

“We all think life is bullshit.” 

“Feelings are bullshit.” Pope’s ears perked with interest. 

“Feelings?” JJ looked at Pope before looking back at the view in front of him, watching as Kiara had playfully splashed Sarah with ocean water. He wished he could feel that carefree. 

“They suck,” he began. “I think it’s stupid that people are allowed to feel something for people and not know if they feel the same.” 

“Are you talking about someone?” JJ paused. 

“No,” he replied. 

“Okay...” Pope trailed off. JJ sighed once more.

“What I’m trying to say, is, I wish we weren’t cursed with not knowing where the lines are blurred and I wish we could all say how we feel without consequence.” 

Pope sensed that JJ was trying to speak metaphorically and project his emotions on a secondary situation. He nodded, trying to follow the blond’s train of thought. He pursed his lips as JJ spoke and wanted to understand what he was saying to the fullest extent, but the boy decided to let JJ talk. 

“Have you ever thought about getting off this island?” JJ asked after a few moments of silence. 

“What kind of question is that?” Pope asked, laughing. “Of course I do.”

“But really,” said JJ. “Not just getting off and seeing what it’s like. I mean, like, what you’re gonna be doing in twenty years and the people who are going to be in your life.”

“Sometimes,” Pope replied with a casual shrug. “I try to take things one day at a time. I never want to overwhelm myself.”

“Lucky you,” JJ muttered. “I see myself off of this stupid fucking island by the time I’m thirty. I don’t want to live in a place where I feel trapped and can’t say what I want to fucking say.”

“I want to be able to forget about the Kooks,” Pope chimed in. JJ nodded. “I kinda want to live in San Francisco.”

“I’d probably live in Europe or something,” JJ said. “Don’t know where but I’d want to experience life as far away from North Carolina as possible.”  

“You sure you’re okay?” Pope asked. He knew he wasn’t. 

“Yeah, man,” JJ replied. “Just got a lot of things on my mind.”

The idea of fooling around with anyone that wasn’t you hadn’t crossed JJ’s mind. He’d been to Boneyard keggers since the lessons began but the notion of flirting and bringing a girl back to the Chateau was way off his radar. The Pogues didn’t take much notice but JJ wondered if they knew something was amiss or if they’d say something about it if they did. If he was able to realize he hadn’t slept with anyone since he began “teaching” you, then they might have. JJ knew their worlds didn’t revolve around him, and the boy was still as goofy and troublesome as ever, but there was a seeded doubt that made him awkward whenever he was around his friends if you happened to be there. 

It wasn’t that his stomach felt queasy or that his heart was racing. He’d be lying to himself if he admitted that. His head was clear when it came to how he felt about you and he wouldn’t hesitate rushing to your house if you called him for another lesson or if you just wanted to kick back with him in your room and jam out to vinyls you pulled out whenever you felt nostalgic. Before, he would never have considered approaching your side of the island but now he didn’t feel as small as he did when he didn’t have a reason to be there. Your parents were familiar with your friends and didn’t mind JJ stopping by, which gave him more of an incentive to visit you when he had had enough of the Chateau and his friends’ loud personalities. 

JJ knew his head was clear when it came to how he was feeling. The only part that clouded his judgement was Trent and dealing with the different friendship he’d have with you. He was sure that if the Touron wasn’t in the picture, things would be much easier for him. Trent’s dark and slick hair reminded him of greed and filth. His boisterous personality reminded JJ of everything he never wanted to be and he couldn’t understand why you’d pay attention to him for longer than a quick glance. The Touron was casually cool, the type of person who wanted to say they were able to rub elbows with the socialites of New York City by posting it on his social media accounts. You, on the other hand, were down to earth and courageous about your future potential. He couldn’t fathom why you were so attracted to someone who was your opposite. 

Your head had been spinning too. Trent was the perfect gentleman and he hadn’t given you a reason to not trust him. And yet, every moment you spent with him reminded you that you weren’t spending it with JJ. You couldn’t understand why you’d been thinking about his shaggy hair when he wakes up or the way his eyes squint when he laughs a little too hard. Trent was giving you his full and undivided attention, and you always felt guilty when you needed to force yourself back into reality because you had been zoning out, daydreaming of being anywhere else. 

But JJ never seemed to be anything other than friendly with you. You opted to disregard how he acted during the lessons, summing that up to pent up sexual frustration and a genuine interest to help you out after years of teasing you. You weren’t completely naive; you knew this was a way for JJ to get himself off, much like it was for you. The only difference between JJ taking advantage of you versus not was the fact that you wanted him to teach you how to make others feel good and how to make yourself feel like a goddess in the bedroom. You weren’t exactly sure why there had been a lack of awkwardness between the both of you despite him being your best friend since birth. There was never a question of doubt from JJ when you asked him to help you learn. There was no laughing when you admitted your lack of knowledge. Perhaps that’s why your initial doubt disappeared the first time he asked you to kiss him.

Trent had apologized for the beach date when he’d gotten startled by strangers parking next to him and promised you he’d make it up to you. He came through on his promise after you got worked up before your dinner date. You arrived at the hotel he was staying at while his father attended an event on the other side of Figure Eight and his hand glided up the side of your dress. Trent wasn’t rough nor was he gentle; he was giving you what you thought you wanted but it didn’t feel as skilled or as tender as when JJ’s fingers were inside of you. With JJ, your orgasm approached as if JJ already knew everything there was to know but Trent took his sweet time making you cum. 

You always cursed yourself for letting your mind wander innocuously to JJ when Trent’s lips were on your neck or when his fingers were toying with the hem of your clothing. There wasn’t much going on between you and Trent, sexually, despite him wanting to take it further. You were lucky enough that Trent verbally expressed his willingness to wait, but you wondered if that wait time had an expiration date. You wanted to make sure if it felt right before you were able to deliver on a promise. You knew that your lessons with the blond would come to an end the moment you two had gone all the way, or until you were ready to experience sex without JJ, and you always moved that thought to the back of your mind to avoid thinking about it. 

By now, you felt guilty for spending the majority of this week with Trent. Kiara had texted you a few times but understood wanting to spend time with him until he left. As far as you could tell, neither John B. nor Pope cared too much because they were happy their youngest friend was happy with someone. JJ, on the other hand, you couldn’t read. You didn’t understand why it was so difficult for you to reach out to him first or comprehend him, which you were usually good at. Suddenly, you were overthinking the way he talked to you and if he chose to sit next to you or someone else. You were overthinking his lingering gaze either on your thighs or some girl who walked past him with a weird knot in the pit of your stomach. 

You kept telling yourself none of that mattered because you had Trent and you were sure you knew how you felt. Trent treated you right, was willing to wait, and never made you feel second best for not being as sexually promiscuous as he was. Yet something was lacking and you couldn’t figure out what it was. 

You tried not to think about it on your way to the Chateau. The screen door slammed shut as you walked into the living room to try and save yourself from the downpour of rain. After Trent had dropped you off when his father had called him during the middle of a movie marathon, you opted to see the Pogues and spend some time with them once you realized how many times you had declined their offer to hang out. You saw JJ already sprawled out on the couch, seemingly all by himself. 

“John B’s out with Sarah,” he said casually, pushing himself up onto his elbows to give you some room to sit down. You nodded a thank you, crossing your arms over your wet torso in an attempt to warm your shivering body as you sat down. Glancing down at your chest, you silently swore as you noticed your red bra was, in fact, very visible under your white shirt. 

“Nice bra,” he chuckled, trying not to ogle too long. JJ hoped his comment didn’t make you feel awkward; he was having a hard time talking to you because he didn’t exactly know where he stood with you. 

“Shut up,” you mumbled but you couldn’t help the heat that rose to your cheeks. 

“So…” JJ trailed off. “How’ve you been? Haven’t seen you in a few days.” 

“I’ve been good,” you nodded. 

“And Trent?” he asked, attempting, and majorly failing, to hide the venom that laced his tongue. You mistook this as annoyance.

“Good,” you said, not wanting to talk about him anymore. JJ cleared his throat, his teeth grinding as he clenched his jaw, as he shifted on the couch so that he was sitting upright and facing you. 

“You've been putting my lessons to good use?” he asked. He didn’t know why he’d asked. He had no desire to hear about you with another guy. 

“You could say that,” you said. Were you really putting them to good use if you weren’t enjoying yourself with Trent nearly as much as you had been with JJ? You couldn’t tell JJ that Trent’s hands on you just sent your mind spiraling back to him or when Trent’s lips were on yours, it reminded you of that first night you started the whole thing. 

“Oh? Does he make you feel good?” he asked, moving closer to you. “Because it’s not worth it if you’re not getting something out of it, too.”

“Uh, well-”

“Do you want me to make you feel good?” he asked suddenly. He knew he was asking the question more for himself but he was desperate to have you again. He figured it wouldn’t hurt to show you how a real man treats his girl. 

“What?” you were taken aback by the forwardness of his question. You watched as his eyes dilated, flicking back and forth from your lips to your chest. 

“You know what I mean,” he said. “You need to be shown what it’s like to be taken care of.”

“But you already-”

“Just let me do this for you,” he snapped. “Please.”

“Okay,” you said before turning your body on the couch to face him. You hadn’t stopped shivering since entering the Chateau not too long ago and your goosebumps increased as you watched JJ move closer to you. He used his right hand to pry your knees apart, positioning himself between them. Your heart rate picked up as he leaned forward to press his lips against yours, the cold air hitting your wet skin when JJ pushed the soaked fabric of your t-shirt up so that it rested just under the hemline of your bra. 

“Up,” he mumbled against your lips, the vibrations forcing a soft moan out of you as you broke the kiss to lift your arms above your head. You let out a small laugh when your shirt made a sloshing sound against the ground. It stopped as soon as it started, however, because you felt JJ start applying open-mouthed kisses along your collarbones. 

Feeling his body pressed up against yours stirred up all the daydreams you’d had every time you’d gotten intimate with Trent. You’d been in this position before with him, but somehow it felt better without the pretense of a lesson. You were under the guise that this wasn’t just about teaching you what you liked and what you didn’t. Part of you wanted to believe that this was more than a lesson you’d acquire from JJ’s depth of knowledge. JJ’s kisses trailed lower and lower until his teeth started toying with the waistband of your shorts. The throbbing between your legs was growing steadily and you let out a sigh of relief when he finally dipped his fingers into the waistband and tugged the wet shorts down your legs with effort because of the rain, dropping them on the floor with your shirt. 

“JJ,” you whimpered as he took his time moving down your body. He slipped his hands under your knees so that he could place them on his shoulders delicately before he laid out on the couch with his face centimeters away from your nearly bare pussy. 

He let out a soft laugh in disbelief at how incredibly soaked you already were. It was practically coating your thighs at this point and your cunt was aching in anticipation for his touch. All JJ could think about is how you let another man see you from this point of view, which was enough to give rise to JJ’s ego. His mission was to make you feel so good that you’d think of him the next time Trent put his hands down your pants; he wanted you to remember this moment and know what it was like to be eaten out by someone who was determined to make you orgasm like a holy grail. 

JJ’s jealousy didn’t cause him to act rashly and dominate the situation. He started by pressing fluttering kisses to the side of your knee, his eyes flickering up to see you watching him intently. JJ began by tenderly kissing the inside of your thighs, making comments about how soft you are and how you smelled so sweet. He does all he can to make you squirm underneath his touch, loving that your gaze didn’t leave him even if you tried. JJ pressed a kiss to the waistband of your underwear and you whimpered at the thought of him being so close to you in a way that was more intimate than before. 

He chuckled when he heard you whimper again and moved his mouth to kiss along your clothed entrance. You knew JJ’s game all too well and you knew he’d take his time teasing you until you were begging for it. It took a while to come to this conclusion, but you figured out that you enjoyed the slow pace before the big finish. JJ had taught you that when you reached an orgasm, it was less about the other party getting off by getting you off. The point of your orgasm was to make you feel like a queen in the bedroom, not like a used toy to get someone else off. 

So when JJ used the pad of his index finger to move your underwear aside and toy with your cunt, you didn’t bother begging for his mouth. Instead, you closed your eyes and relished in the feeling of his warm hands on you. JJ looked pleased at your reaction and wanted to make this moment last for as long as he could. His finger moved in slow circles before hitting a sensitive nerve that caused your hips to rise, to which JJ laughed and pinned you down in the cushions. 

JJ pressed two delicate kisses on your entrance. His mouth was being coated in your slick and he licked his lips, closing his eyes to savor the way you tasted. His body inched forward in an attempt to be as close to you as possible before licking a stripe with his tongue pressed flat against you, causing you to let out a deep moan in satisfaction. 

JJ’s tongue worked like magic, as if he already knew all of your weak spots and was discovering the different sounds you could make by his tongue. His hands were gripping your thighs and his eyes would look at his meal before back up at you, and you had taken the liberty to use your hands to tug on his hair when he had hit a pleasure point. 

“That’s a good girl,” he whispered against you to himself, proud of how loud and unapologetic you were being. He swore that if the Pogues had walked in the door, he’d stop eating your pussy and show them how pretty you looked underneath him. But he knew they would all be at Kiara’s until the storm passed. 

His motions were delicate until he recalled the thought of you and Trent together in bed. His tongue began to dart in and out of you at a faster speed with every increasing thought. Giving Trent a handjob. Trent stripping you out of your bra and underwear. His fingers inside of you. His tongue down your throat. His cock in your mouth. His cock in your - JJ’s - pussy. He knew he was irrational and wrong to think that last thought, but in this moment, your pussy was his for the taking and he was going to make your orgasm like your life depended on it. 

JJ’s grip on your thighs became tighter and you felt locked underneath him. Your toes curled and your hips bucked at the pressure and pace at which JJ was eating you out. His head was moving like he was catching every last drop of your wetness before going back for some more. JJ had taken the liberty to lift his head and spit on your entrance before diving back in, his tongue so deep inside of you that you almost considered asking him to use his cock instead. 

“JJ,” you muttered, tugging on his hair. 

“Just cum, baby,” he urged. “I’m ready for you.” 

You obliged and it didn’t take you that long to release. JJ lapped the white pearls that were spilling out of you and his eyes were rolling to the back of his head as he realized this was the first time he was seeing you, and tasting you, from this angle. JJ’s jaw was becoming sore but he paid no attention as your legs spread wider against the couch and your body moved to the rhythm of his tongue. 

When you were coming down from your high, JJ couldn’t have imagined anything hotter than the sight and sound before him, but your fingers reached down to your aching core in oblivion and began toying with your clit as your breathing steadied. JJ watched in awe as your fingers moved in slow, delicate and circular motions, your bottom lip in between your teeth and your eyes shut. His mouth hung open at how totally, completely, and utterly fucked you were in this orgasmic haze and was pulled out of this fantasy when you tugged your hand away and reached for a tissue to clean yourself up. 

JJ couldn't think of anything to say and neither could you. You settled on watching a movie in silence. 

***

taglist:

@ashyramblings-ficrecs @fanficscuziranout @caswinchester2000 @jellyfishbeansontoast @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @simpingforrudypankowonly @hi-my-name-is-riley  @antoheartit @runway-to-my-aid @kayleypaige2233 @jroseron @mahleeyuh @decap-quadrant @deviouscharitos @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @wasabiwitteks @waywardbabie @parkerpetertingle @cheshirecat107 @ballerinafairyprincess @underratedmisfit @gardengirl-18 @letsgofullkook @thankfulfortimmy @voguesir @outerbongs @suhoey @yeslifeofateen @beans05 @spn-marvel-nerd @cleverandwitty @onlyalittleteenwolfobsessed @scottish-sim @lonely--witch @thin-spiration-for-me @britnicole11 @Jessica-1120 @pogue-h @mfmaddyperez @sspidermanss @outerbankslove @bxbyyyjocelyn @jjsbxtch @rudethchalamet @srirachibi @shawnssongs @shoppingcarthappiness @calumbroutledge @jayjaymaebank @goldenpogue @harrysbbby @copper-boom @void-maybank @rudys-pankow @x-lulu @serrendipiity @danicarosaline @allie-mcginn @thistreasurehunter @k-k0129 @annedub @urlocalbrochure @freeshavocadoooo @katiaw2 @ceestlaviemylove @wicked-laugh @kamcrazy123 @myrandom-fandomlife @clio-muse-of-histories @yeehaw87 @manip-maker @rudypankow-whore @iichydobrik @jjtheangel @httpstarkey @peqchyharts @myhead-myuniverse @normatural @vindictive-hearts @spycemilk @loveylangdon @mybrainiswhack @judayyyw @midnightmagicmusingsmain @jjsmaybitch @little-ms-awkward @obxmxybxnk @5am-cigarette @xinsonyax @netflix-imagines @heyitsmeimdead @fullpanicmode @girlsru1eboysdroo1 @o-b-x @heyitsmeimdead @jj-maybabe @jjmaybangme @newhopenessie @the0uterbanks @llvinlavidaloca @ponyboys-sunsets @angvelics @lilpeekabooze @thatbloodymuggle @couldyouspeaklouder @apoguecalledjj @collectiveuniverses @starkeymarkey @crushes @goldenharryvol6 @teenwaywardasgardian @milamaybank @merchantjjreply @lustgardn @curlybrownhairedboys @booksandshish @ilymarkchan @ihatemyself21 @holynickellightpickel @bailspogue @deathcompass @alternativehp @keepingupwiththepogues @kylosleftbuttcheek @stargazingstarkey @rafescameron @etoiles-andromedae @katrynec @ilovejjmaybank @teamnick @jjaybank @kiarascarreras @sunwardsss @fandomtravels @jeyramarie @honeybunchcalum @ughitslizz @sleepyhollands @phelisya @Oddlydrawnbeauty @adanielle8 @jeyramarie @paradigmax @whoseblogsthis @sweetlysilent @outerbanksbro @i-mmunity @extratragic @jjbaby @jj-bxby @jjmaybanksbaby @drewswannabegirl @letsgotothehop @sugarcoatedcalum @wiensrsoldier @serious-killer @churrlize @karleeluv @jj-baebank @secretmoonphantom @outerbankslut @obxsummer @poguesrforlife @broken-jj @sapphire4485 @sortagaysortahigh @erraaxh @bellhopblake @haharudy @kimxft @rubjeffo @hannahrisacher @family-buisnes @king-ronnoc @sexytholland @28cnn @maraseavey @jurassicjosie @bolaurel @perfektionsmakel @masintahin @everyonesababe @rudysmaybank @koufaxx @broken-jj @catieiscute2001 @blueflame2778 @rudths @reconcilereid @anonymous0writer @secretlyablueunicorn @queenofthepouges @outerbankspogue @starlightstarkey @prettywayy @bolditalicwriter @twenty-two-airplanes @pcterparxer @olsenholic @rottencoregirl @writingwieny @psg-for-life @hollandlovely @poguesinablanket @figure-pogue @kiarasmaybank @xloue @bellaguarneri @localfangirlx @perfect-ginger-maniac @truulovee @just-a-bitchybisexual @littlelillylollipop @pankowrudeth @jjandreidsgirl @caringparker @obx-saltlife @eternalangst1111 @poguelifesurfshop @poguestyleskye @haute-shawn @hmspxgue @molsypops @niccsal @curlypunk @sleeplessreader12 @itsmederyn @thecurlsofgod @allielozoya @b-groovyyy @blindedbyyourgrace17 @kt219567 @french-fries-bouquet @overly-b @hanistarsxx @thebookisbtr @wilddheartt @alytavzla @punkladymoes @hmspogueobx @brightcosmos @an-untamed-rose @unknown-user84 @mediocrearistophanes @buckethatseason @laconic-eunoia @agentstarkid @sunflower-beauty @spideyvibez @meaganjm @yourstrulyzerotwo @flowersinvegas @r0s3mm @floretsoleil @flowersinvegas @unknown-user84 @jooorrdd @ethereallust​ @ihatemyfuxkinglife @hufflepuff-always-and-forever​ @unfortunatekiwitrash​ @r5court @allycat449-blog​ @celestialmaybank​ @kayleea122​ @mynmuses @trashmouthpogues @natalie-kate-98 @maraudersandco @ethereallust @vaswn @lindysti​ @casper17 @babyybesson.

[muffindaddystyles]

𝑌𝑂𝑈𝑁𝐺 & 𝐵𝐸𝐴𝑈𝑇𝐼𝐹𝑈L 

A oneshot of how you two met in the beautiful city of Italy, how Harry finds you an Angel descended from heaven above that took his hand and became his light. Dad!harry full of fluff..oh yeah dad!harry nation lets rise. .Part two of tooth rotting dad harry of it is here too. young and beautiful (II)

It's Saturday night. Harry and you intentionally have no plans but to loaf around in your guys cosy homely space. The candles flames with rośe tranquilness, the intro to movie watched many times together rolling in. Both of you are snuggled onto large body sucking sea-green velvet couch infront of telly.

His daddy long legs nestled atop your hip hooking around your ankle protecting you from falling if possible (moreso the fact he's extremely protective of you in your pregnancy.) His one elbow snaked around your collarbones which are now hiding underneath soft swelling, his sweater pawed arm sheltering around your huge eight months baby bump slender tender fingers tucked underneath your side.

You relaxes into him, back pressed to his tanned chest and with his chin resting atop your hair whenever he rasped out something it bobbed your whole head.

"Yeh' kay, baby? comfy?" He asks you for the hundredth time now caressing and stroking your chin, then earlobes, collarbones to your belly and the list goes on. It's one of his habits that he doesn't realizes himself more as ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑔𝑒. Harry's love language's physical contact, lots and lots of them. He finds calm in touching you here and there, raking his palms without them knowing their destination. He's cuddly and clingiest when drunk. Although, he has stopped drinking since you both are expecting but the clingy part of him jumped out during this period his only excuses are "wanna stay close to me' three babies." Or "i feel empty when you're even a bit away from me." 

"'M lover, stop worrying." You bring his jaw down with the tip of your pointer finger to kiss his lips gently with a tilt of your chin. He mumbles an anxious "cant." in your mouth running his thumb under the curve of your womb with amiable affection.

You hiss into his mouth when one of your bubba kicks you with ever most force and he pushes away with amused eyes, when he felt the kick against his palm. It's not like it's his first but everything related to his unborn babies muse him to utter excitement and tears of joy.

He shifts a tad resting his a little scruffy cheek against your silken naked bump, you're wearing one of his crotched zinc orange crop top and it bunched up your belly in very much likeness of Harry, he thinks you look so endearingly sexy he could make you use him as many times you want. His ear tucked under the crescent of your chest, "feels like jus' a barrier of skin between us." He bubbles his accent and you smile down at him infectiously. Meanouvering your fingers into his chestnut curls and massaging his scalp that made his eyelids futter into bliss.

There was another visible kick and Harry smoothed down the skin eyes shinning up at you, "a footy champ this one." You sucked your bottom lip trying not break into fits of laughter because from the weight your pelvis muscles has become weak and you end up leaving wet tiny splotches most of the time. First time you had it was two months ago you were fucking embarrassing and couldn't stop crying right after an hour of genuine laugh ofcourse caused by Harry when you guys shopped for babies and he wore that one onesie on his head being all goofy and child of two while expecting two himself.

"How're meh' baby girls. meh' bunnies." He smauched loud wet kisses all over your belly making slobbery snuggly voices to annoy you. You tug at his roots whining loudly because you know the undeniable loving scene of Harry talking to his two daughters will bring you to tears all because of stubborn hormones. Yes, two!

While you weren't even expecting a pregnancy, God said wait for my bumper surprise.

Everyone told your bump looks healthier than normal pregnancies but you ignored it until the day of gender check-up. Harry was ecastatic, fist pumping the air, bouncing with your hands intervined tears bloodshot in his eyelines. So were you...but you had a huge breakdown on the wooden floor of your home's threshold. You were blabbering thousand questions to him, body shaking and fighting to breath.

"I...I can't do this, Harry...too much 's too much." You cried to him that day. But he cradled your face into his calloused palms his temple kissed yours, "ye' can, my sweet girl. we can. wish I could bear one of our baby bunny, it's sad that I cant help ye'. But, it's my promise to be there for you forever and always." He leaned down to kiss you with so much love, more love he was keeping to himself ever since and more more love he can't put into words.

He comes back from your belly to leave a feathery kiss on your lips that makes you yearn for him more and settles back to his previous position, his face shoved into the crook of your neck and he presses kisses to the corner of your lips while your eyes remains glued to telly.

As Sally and Harry bickered in the car you chuckled softly fingers tracing his nose and the mole sheltered under it, "remember how we met?" His breath fanned tickling your cheek heartily when he shook his head with a giddy giggle.

"How could I not? Yeh' were a honey pot and a weepy mess after tha'." He scrunches his nose at you adorably reminiscing the night and series of nights after that.

"It was your fault mister." You twitch your lips turning to his side with his help and his hand sprawled at your back instinctively. "Ye' souvenired t' give a lonely guy like me some company, first." He smiles when you huffed. His beam getting joyously wider when your belly pressed tightly against his's and he kisses your forehead multiple times.

"Who thought that guy escapin' from Gucci's biggest event could be a dad of two girls." You quip playing with his neckline and his chest rumbled with a titter that sent you to cloud nine.

"Not me at all. But, if I could meet him back in time I'll tell him how lucky he's gonna be, how happy he'll be, that he doesn't needs to be a grumpy daddy when he could be a real happy one." His eyes are glassy and you cupped his cheeks placing your lips atop his into a feverish kiss of gentleness.

~𝐹𝑎𝑙𝑠ℎ𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 2015~

Gucci's spring festive on full blossom in the most popular old city of Italy, Milan. It's luxurious in all it's glory. A-list celebrities and world claimed most beautiful models. The hall clattered and shushed with talks, rumours, gossips and greets. Then it's fashion and tailored-fitted clothes, formal gowns. Fake smiles. Cold hearts.

On the long dinning table piled with food that sometimes's too difficult to pronounce Harry sat along with Kendall Jenner. His ex-girlfriend and a friend for now. She talks excitedly with the person infront of her snarling rude remarks here and there. Her hand came squeezing his thigh under the table that startled him from his imaginary world. A world where he's at peace, the luxuries doesn't exist and he's nothing but a normal person.

"Huh, love?" He kinks his brows together fiddling with the napkin in his lap and she gave him a furious pout for not giving her full attention, "I was pointing out how fast-fashion brands are shit." She rolls her eyes. Harry can't believe her bratty arse. He shrugged his thigh with a tad more harshness to get rid of her touch.

"Dunno. No' everyone could afford luxury brands." At this the model infront of them cackled more in her mock and sniffed to be polite in the fake hush of the room. Harry's eyes turned glassy and the jade in the murky to the visible irritation at their behaviour. His expressions dark and unreadable under the very less light.

Quiffing his long hickorey curls back he nibbed at his pointer finger's knuckle only to bend it under his chin afterwards, "'m serious." Kendall sighs loudly at this clearly annoyed by the way he's acting and the model infront of him gave him a 'whatever makes you sleep at night.' look and a shrug of her shoulders in arrogance while eating her steak.

Enough. Harry thinks with a grumble struck in his chest. He rakes the chair back that drew some attention but it drifted to some person sharing their experience and all that shit talk again on the loop.

Harry's guard followed him behind pushing the paparazzi away. Flashes in his eyes. Made up assumptions to his ears and shoved up opinions to his chest. He's sick. From all of this. He wants to shout to no-one in particular but himself, he wants an escape. He wants it with his every bleeding cell.

Then he takes a curt turn with a whiplash of his torso to dark alley beside the building from which he just exited and when he reached the end it was blocked by a brick wall so he jumped with ease to other side, his expensive boots scruffing against the gravel. He gave no care to the guard behind him.

He was in a local less populated street. Wider with the bumpy stones and there were people indeed but nobody paid him heed.

He sat on the concrete bench. Flinging his one leg over another hand gripping near his crotch and with a relieved huge exhale of breath he took his phone out going through it. After, so long he feels like he's a free dove who could breath free escaping from it's cage.

He's broken. Empty and in the rough path of his life. He doesn't know how to cope with it. It makes him fuckin' insane.

There's an ice-cream cart few steps away from where he's sitting alone onto bench. His head snaps at the beautiful giggle bouncing through the tangerine sky. He squints his eyes to get a better look of the group of friends crowding near the cart and licking onto their ice-creams.

Your white cotton dress furled with a wave of zephyr and the loose errand of your hair slipping from your low bun cascading around your face while you gave a belly ache laugh to one of your tall friend bopping his nose at his silliness.

Harry stares at the interaction of young people. They're just like him but looks more happy and youthful then why couldn't he?

His eyes are set on a certain figure and that's you still hidden from him as your friend Mona blocked the sight of your perfect view to Harry nudging your ribs.

"Is that Harry Styles." Jo mutters when his eyes fell over him and then he bashfully hisses, "don't look back! Don't look back. You guys are being too specific." Considering yourself stupid you spinned to have an ethereal sight of Harry sitting all by himself on the cold bench, his carved features glowing with the illumination of his phone screen still unlocked while he got distracted by you people.

"Doesn't feels like he's enjoying himself." Mona quipped taking a large swipe of her cold delight. None of them too interested in his wear abouts.

Call it clićhe but you don't have any thought in your mind before you're asking for an ice-cream cone from the ice-cream man heading towards him with your hands occupied with two.

Harry's breath hitching in his palpalating heart at the complete sight of you, for sore eyes for sure. His nerves jittery and knee bouncing in restlessness as you approaches him with a sweet grin. He takes in your complete look. White flowy dress and nude sandals, loop earrings and the bright red lipstick resembling the blood gush of his heart. 'Less is more' making you appear so beautiful.

Harry's so lost in his own brain wrecking that he forgot where you went but you rounds him from behind flinging your left leg on the other side of bench to sit on it with your legs on either side of it, he again startles getting off-guard hastily turning to face you when you tapped his shoulder.

Licking your own vanilla sweetness you forwarded the cone to him a sweet sheepish smile on your glowing hearty features. His body guard instantly changed his position to stop you but Harry gave him a stink eye accepting your offer shyly. Your cheeks heating even in the mild temperature when his supple fingers brushed yours.

"Thank you." His voice timid wiping the corners of his heart shaped lips but you just shrugged your shoulders leaning back with your hand pressed against the bench, "no problem. you're welcome." Harry gazes at your collarbones prodding from the flimsy fabric of your v-line then he shifted his gaze down to his Gucci loafers telling himself not to be a pervert. It's just you're too delicate that he can't stop admiring.

"I like your suit." You compliments him with glinting eyes and his cheeks flushed with shyness mumbling a "thank you." Under his erratic breath.

His eyes flutters and tummy flips when you bring your hand closer to him taking the sleeve of his jacket tugging at it, "it's too graphic you know...in a good way." He finds it endearing that you were this engulfed in just the design of his suit and when you tilt your chin peering up at him, he feels like his brain stopped functioning. He nods eyes still locked to yours and when he sense some coldness dripping down his thumb he quickly ducks down to lick it off causing his sculpted cheek to stroke against your silken ones in utter gentleness.

You gulp timidly sitting back straighter.

"So...? For what stuff you're here for Harry?" He loves the way his name sounds mellow coming from you. He clears his throat unwinding his long legs to stretch them wide and it nudged yours sending jolts to both of you, "uh, 'm 'ere fo' Gucci event." You beam at this shifting closer to him.

"I like the way it sounds comin' from you." He cackles at this running his fingers to tame his matte curls.

His tense demeanor slipping bringing his shy, timid and goofball ones exposed to you. He's himself surprised that all the built up frustration in his nerves drained away from your presence.

Being an art major and a fashion geek you asks him with ferverishness patting his knee, "what was it like? I've heard it's mesmerising." He chuckles at this. He wanna scoff because a sweet girl like you wouldn't last a second there.

"'S okay. I guess." He elevates his shoulder in bored expression and when the ice-cream swipes at the tip of his nose you giggled bunching forward to his side. He smiles down at you squinting his eyes narrow in an accuse.

"And what yer' here fo'? Wait yeh from here?" You bite the waffled cone chewing it. Words muffling with a full mouth, "having a trip with my University's friends. I live in London though. I really really wanted to see Milan. So, here I'm." You make an innocent childish face raising your arms in air to show him and his heart's soothing to peace with every homely action you'd pull to make him relaxe.

Then there was silence that Harry was unaware how to break. He could hear you talking for an eternity. On the other hand you aren't that akward to make conversations with people. No doubt you're shy, and wants your own space to blossom but this one habit of yours is inseparable.

"You know when back home. An ice-cream man would come daily at midnight in summers. Me and my cousins would climb up his bicycle cart like darn monkeys. Pop our heads inside the freezer and annoy the fuck outta him. God I miss home." There's this un-pointable feeling. That's unfigurative to Harry but it's there; of admiration and of endearment. His heart's at cloud nine caressing itself to the pink cotton candy.

His heart reaches out for you from his ribcages as the homesickness glistered in your irises. You weren't obliged to talk to him, to give him company but you still did beacuse beautiful accidents and coincidence happen in the admist of rushed streets.

Harry parted his lips to talk to you more but he has nothing, his life's not unknown by anyone and the normal scenarios of people entertains him so much.

His head snaps when you grin widely at him throwing the last and best of cone inside your mouth. Your small pretty mouth chewing like a rabbit and Harry wants to have a touch, just some to shush the fire in his stomach.

His head snapping when you yelled to children that were skipping on rope waving to them, "hey kiddos! Wanna have some ice-cream!?" They all left their play of galloping running towards you. Harry looks at you wide eyes eating his last bits away.

"Our hotel gave us a coupon for free ice-creams." You laugh standing up and he wants to catch you by wrist to stop you going away from him but when you squeeze his shoulder leaning to whisper in his ear chills ran down by his spine, "will be right back." He swallows thickly nodding eyes trailing to you as you collects all the little fellas to cart.

He watches you. Is she an Angel? A mirage to help him out of his anxiousness? Or a smoke in his mind that'll disappear soon? He thinks picking on his nails. He's not ready to step out of the calm bubble you created so delicately around him. Only if life could be this easier.

He rolls his eyes playfully sucking his lips inside his mouth when he sees you paying extra for more. He looks back to his body-guard. Maybe you didn't noticed him or cares less but Harry's kinda annoyed that he has to be here in such a happy vulnerable moment of his life.

"Thank you nice lady!" Harry chuckles gleefully when all of the kids thanked her licking onto their sweets. "It's okay kids, be careful before I take them back."

Shaking your head you strides back to Harry coming to stand infront of him. You can fit perfectly between his legs if he opened them wider for you, that desireful thought swooshed through his mind but he shakes it away.

"Thank ye' nice lady." He squeaks in high teasing pitch standing up and your eyes widened when he literally towered you fully. Your height differences funny even you're in heels.

"Not you now." You declared with blushed cheeks. His irirses glinted when you fumbled with the sides of your dress.

"So...this's it?" You ask him peering up at him with such gooeness he could whimper. Shivers running down your body as the weather turned rather more chill.

"This's it.." Harry whispers. He feels what? a lump of wetness in his throat? He's at the brink though.

"Thank you for bearing my monkey ass." You guffawed out but he has serenity in his eyes. He thins his lips. "I should be the one to say thanks."

He was taken aback when you hugged him running soothing circles at his back. He inhales your tangerine vanilla scent embracing you fully now. If he could freeze the time he would in a snap. He feels like he's all the way back home after travelling shallow through the whole world.

"It's gonna be alright, whatever it's Harry. It'll be alright. You're gonna be alright. It gets bumpy but you still have so much for you." Harry wants to cry in some strangers arms. He feels so defeated and tired. But, the determination and affirmation in your voice made him think opposite. He'll do it. He can do it.

He didn't let you go first. You untageled yourself from him gently swaying on your feet, taking a step back and he couldn't blink his eyes away from you as you bit your crimson lip.

You take steps away from him eyes still locked to his jade ones and he calls you out through the breeze looking for passing by cars if possible because you're standing in the middle of street.

"Hey, stranger!!!" You tilt your chin in a questioning and shake your head at his lopsided cheshire smile, "forgot t' tell ye'r name!" He yells out in rushed anticipation and anxiousness as if he'd loose you if any minute ticks by.

Goosebumps appears at your bare legs from the chill, "Y/N. Y/L/N." Then you spin around raising your hand high atop your head waving it for Harry.

"Ba-bye. Harry." You says loudly but it doom vacuumed to emptiness once you step inside your hotel's lobby leaving Harry at his own sake again.

Standing still at his spot. Hands shoved into his trouser's pocket and long spiral curls framing his sculpted features he watches you with a furrow of his brows from the glass of hotel. His frown getting deeper when you threw your head back laughing when you bumped into your friend who was coming to find you, you caught his wrist eyes widening at something funny he said and Harry sighs thinking maybe you're just this kind and generous and that he's not a special case in your book.

With an exhausted sigh he makes his way towards his bodyguard who gives him a side mishevious eye, "happy now, Styles?" Harry jabs a shove to his bulky shoulder playfully lips twitching and eyes narrowing, "oh shut up!" His mood more lightened and gleeful than his previous one thanks to you.

***

Next day when Kendall and her friend dragged Harry to fancy the local streets of Milan. Harry had a less scowling face than before. They stopped infront of some shop to buy bagels that someone bumped right square into Harry's back making him stumble a little.

It's you. Rushing out of a pharmacy. Harry's gaze trails from your toe to head and his lips parts in surprise. The whole past night in his lonely hotel bedroom you were his dream of heart and the stubborn thought of his mind while the thump of after party going downstairs kept him occupied and fainted the erratic pace of his heart. Then his brows kink in worry and concern at the grueling sight of you.

You're in a pink sweater and pyjamas. Eyes glassy. Cheeks flushed and blazing. Nose running and hair poking out in every direction. He takes a gentle step towards your astonished figure brewing fingers reaching out to hold you but when you keeps a distance from him his heart falls in his arse, and when you cough in your elbow he realizes that you're maybe cold or having a fever.

"You okay, love?" He asks you. Voice that of honey and panic dripping from his features. You gives him a big smile bobbing your head quickly and he have an urgency not to roll his eyes at you. Because you don't seem okay from any angle!

"'M just having a tiny cold it's not that worrisome." Harry's eyes pops out from his socket at your voice. It's groggy and hoarse not that sweet warm honey that was fusing in his ears last night. "Y/N. You can barely speak, are you sure you're okay?" You try to give him a small smile at his care but it got suppressed by another throat tearing cough. Poor little thing. Harry fawns looking down at you.

At this he abruptly saturates the distance between you two, "note me' number, darlin'. Promise me you'd call me if you feel too sick." You give a glance to his two friends coming by to stand beside him.

"Hi." You greet them in hoarseness and they wince when you forward your hand for a shake making you feel ashamed and embarrassed of your politeness when they didn't accepted it. Harry jaw ticks in furiousness as he glares them it's all adding up to push his nerves now.

He takes your shivering hand with an arch of his brow to his friends in challenging sterness noting down his phone number at your palm. You give him a soft "okie." and a "thank you." waving him and his friends a good-bye. He notices that you're not someone to hold grudges against someone. He knows that Kendall's behaviour throws people off but you didn't seem to mind it too much.

"Who was she Harry?" Kendall asks him chewing onto her bagel. Harry shrugs not keen to spill any precise details, "someone I met last night."

She tries to scrape more from him. "How?" Harry closes his eyes tugging at his roots not ready to snap at her.

Harry thinks many times to say the right words so that she'd shut up but still ends up saying something that infuriated her ego and mock, "she offered me ice-cream—" Her friend scoffs perking his head.

"Mate you're nuts for accepting something from a stranger." Logically yes. But you meant no harm to him. Your eyes were truthful and shined with sincerity.

Harry stays silent walking inside their hotel. The hostess asks them if they'd like to have a brunch.

On the other hand you climbed up the stairs to your room with a lazy gait. Your lungs burning. Once inside your room. You takes your medicine with a shivering body and minus energy to even raise your finger. You want to cry but you give a pep talk to yourself that you're a brave girl squishing yourself in your bed, hiding under three blankets.

There's bright sun outside but still you're feeling like someone placed you atop Antarctica's glacier snatching every clothing item from you. Your friends are all out and you wish you could have them. You hate being sick and alone.

When you woke up again. You felt horrible. Feeling like a truck crushed you underneath itself. When you tried to sit up, you fell back a reckless painful sob erupting from your lungs as with wavering fingers you massaged your sweaty forehead. The sheets under you drenched into sweat and hotness. Panic rising in your chest as your vision blurred with blackness so you dialed Harry's number immediately in the fear someone should be with you in case you faint.

"He—" He was cut off with your loud crying. The fork in his hand clanking against the sleek plate gaining everyone's attention. "'S okay. 'M comin'. I'll be there in no time love." He speaks hastily telling his bodyguard not to follow him with a gesture of his hand while striding to his car in big steps.

"Y/N. Darlin'? Yeh' there?" He asks you with his chest tightening with anxiety when the other end of line was dead as grave, "'m, i'm." Your breath spurts into coughs and Harry sighs sympathetically at your condition. It took him fifteen minutes to reach your hotel.

"Which room?" None of you noticed that the phone was still on line. You were half conscious cheeks soaked and smashed into silk pillow case. "Room number, sweets?" He asks you patiently running through different floors to take care of you as soon as possible.

"2-234.." You stutter. Harry halts in the middle of corridor snapping his head everywhere your room was three rooms away from him.

"Can yeh' stand up for me and unlock the door for meh? Can yeh do that sweet girl?" Harry's standing at your door and your sob muffles into your arm when you shake your head in denial. Luckily the door was unlocked.

"Stupid girl." Harry mutters under his breath pressing the red button when he finally tumbles inside your room. He wants to scold you for not caring for your safety when you're sick, fragile and barely able to stand up.

His heart grips into a knot when you turn to your side. The girl he was with last night long gone. Your lips blue and wobbling. Cheeks red and wet. Sweat sheening. Your body shaking. You could be barely seen from under the layers of blankets.

"Oh sweet girl. 'm so sorry." The mattress dips under his weight and he hovers over you taking you in his arms instantly. Squeezing you tight and warm, it feels good so you cuddles your face into the crook of his neck. He gasps when his hand glides down your back and finds it pooling with so much sweat, and you burning like sun outside.

"You're burnin' love." He says with wide eyes cautiously smoothing his hand at your back to make you feel better.

"It hurts, Harry." Harry pulls you from your shoulders rolling his thumb in the dips to massage them, "where?" Your chest rumbles with another whimper as you bolt your eyes shut.

"Everywhere."

He inquires further and you give a drowsy moan when he expertly massages your shoulders and arms, "did you take your medicine?" You nod at this head falling against his chest and if he wouldn't be so worried about your condition his tummy would've flipped so hard.

"And did yeh' ate somethin' befo' that?" When you shake your head in rejection he again pulls you back looking down at you in offend and shock.

"Y/N..." He warns you with a tough expression. Then he cups your cheeks making you look at him even though your eyes are closed he scolds you strictly, "Y/N you should be kind to yourself too."

"Now. 'M gonna take ye' to hospital." He announces and you squirm away from his grip shaking your head like a child. You hate hospitals.

"Y/N..don't be difficult darlin'." Only if he knew he has to deal with this his whole life. As you try to speak your words swallows back when he snakes his arms under your armpits making you stand up.

"No buts. Look at ye'. Yer condition will worsen if yeh' keep refusin' to go." With your whole weight over his side he makes you sit in the passenger seat, stroking your cheek with his knuckles giving you a reassuring smile and rounding to his driver side.

He keeps on checking you through the whole drive. You're still high on fever when he places his palm at the curve of your neck then at your forehead tsking when you moaned in pain, "'s gonna be alright." He rubs your knee trying to give you a smile through his own anxiousness.

They checks you in the ER. The doctor notes your symptoms on his notepad and Harry gazes you in full concentration sitting right beside you, he has your fingers laced with his's and he's continuously rubbing your back to provide you with any warmth.

"I've a very low immune system since I had a tonsillectomy when I was nine. Had an ice-cream last night and quite often I know I get sick in this season." You toy with his silver rings carelessly. Harry admires you. Dunno why. He just do. Because he thinks he might be falling for the way you talk, you behave and try to remain polite in every circumstances.

"Miss Y/N since you've your tonsils removed your coping mechanism from bacteias's less and you've caught a pneumonia." Your head immediately turns to look at Harry and when he sees that fear in your eyes he unwinds his hand from yours leaning to take your chin, "hey...hey lovie'. It's okay you'll heal in a week."

The doctor hands the prescription to Harry. The next thing he announces makes you sob like a five years old, "no. no. no." You shake your head shrinking back and Harry gives the doctor a sheepish akward smile stroking your hair.

Doctor sighs at your behaviour leaving at last, "the nurse will be here soon to give you injections."

Harry quickly stands up shutting the large curtain that's around the stretcher bed you both are sitting at as soon as he comes back you wrap your hands around his forearm. He hisses when you dig your nails to his flesh your tears dropping at his wrists.

"I don't like needles. I loathe them. They scare me." You sniffle and Harry ducks to your level metting your glossy gaze. He caress your head kissing your hair, "you're so brave. I know it. It would just be a pinch. Ye' can squeeze the fuck outta my hand if yeh want to." He has his fingers tucked under your earlobes as he again and again wipes your tears.

The nurse comes to you shutting the curtains behind her. She's old lady in age and observes the couple infront of her. Well, for her you both are looking like one.

You immediately move back to Harry's side as he's sitting now with his front infront of you, "scared of needles." Harry tells her timidly in a low voice puffing his cheeks a bit in gentility.

Harry saps his opal teeth into his lower lip when you wrapped your elbow around the nape of his neck bringing him down closer to you and your face shoved to his chest near his armpit. His other arm wrapping around your waist to flush you closer to him. He tries to drift your attention to himself whispering sweet nothings into your ear and the nurse awes applying alcohol where she has to inject the needle.

"'S okay. We're gonna get home after this, have some soup, will take a nap, watch some telly...." He smoothes his hand over your spine grasping it softly. You stiff in his genial hold twitching and hissing loudly when the needle was poked and pushed into your delicate skin. His white shirt's completely soaked into your tears now but he doesn't give two fucks.

"Just two more." The nurse mutters and you perk your head away from Harry's chest looking at her horrified, "two more!?" You squeak out hiccuping and Harry has to suppress his giggle at your expense from how adorable you look.

He again shoves your head back in his armpit muffling your huffing and tantrums. "Don't move darlin' don't wanna get yeh' hurt." His hold tight and firm.

"Hurts." You pout and Harry traces it stopping himself to just lean down and kiss it. Nurse left you guys to yourself and Harry breaths loudly grinning at you, patting his thighs standing up helping you too.

"Thank you, Harry." You crane your neck to see him properly rubbing your nose once Harry makes sure you're sitting in his car comfortably.

"No problem, love." He kisses your cheek making your lips quirk up for the first time.

***

You're sitting crossed legs on the twin sized bed of your hotel room. Harry takes a quick glance of you pouring soup into some bowl. Your temperature a little bit coming back to normal, sweat still there as you rests your head back at the board of bed. You're room's nothing sort of luxurious it's dinky and compact.

"Here love." Harry hands you the soup making sure to be careful that you don't get burnt and you takes it from him with a series of appreciation.

"Feelin' better now?" He asks you rubbing your ankles as you places your feet in his lap. Blowing onto your soup and he does the same shoving spoonful in his mouth.

"Way better. Felt like dying honestly." Harry couldn't imagine how bad your condition was he saw it himself and he gives you a weak smile, his man-bun getting loose now.

"Where are your friends? they should have known that you weren't feeling well."

"They asked me but—" Harry's low voice cut you off. In just a day he got to know what your nature's like.

"But you didn't wanted to spoil their fun." You roll your eyes playfully wiggling your toes in his lap to tickle his tummy but he catches them making you squeal through sore throat.

He giggles when you slurp purposedly attaching your lips to the rim of your bowl. Once you're full he places your medicine in your palm and when you makes an icky face he gives you a stern gaze, "uh-huh. Take 'em."

When you swallow the bitter medicines down with a huge gulp of water he pats your head, "good girl." He puts the glass at nightstand. Caressing your jaw, "wanna take a nap?" You nod.

"W-would you lay down with me, ...'s just my body aches and—" You tried to explain without letting heat to creep at your cheeks. He bobs his head furiously more than okay to fulfil your wish.

Without any word he shifts gently to your side getting rid of the hair band that was trapping his long curls into a bun, squeezing into twin sized bed with you, "sorry." he quips when you hiss at his cold bare feet touching your warm ones.

"It's okay." You smile up at him moving closer to him. Sheets rustling underneath as you rests your head over his sprawled forearm. Your bodies reacting automatically like one of soulmates when your knee nudged his legs and he parted them so that you could place your sore one in between them. You molded into him like a piece of puzzle, that was just meant to fill the part of him that was scraped out because of his fate leaving him shallow and empty.

"Sorry for ruining your day." You mumble into his neck fingers brushing the baby curls at the nape of his neck. He shakes his head running his thumb in circles under your hair that were sticking to your neck, "No, thank you fo' makin' my day better. 'M havin' fun babying you." You titters at this and he sighs. There's calm. Heart beats in sync. Yours was racing moments ago. You're tangled into eachother's embrace and he pulls thin blanket ontop of both of you.

You purr wishing he could be always with you at how he's a walking talking heater, "you're warm." Harry senses come to a pause at the kitten voice you just let out snuggling into him deeper and exhaling the breath he was holding in. He melts into you kissing your forehead and petting your cheeks.

"Sleep sweet girl." His breathing lulls you to deep slumber.

***

It's late in night. Harry squints his eyes to street lights coming from the balcony window. He groans and when pushes his face away from you, a huge lovesick smile dances at his lips. He slept so good after so long. Your warmth and sweet flesh pressed into him made him drift to sleep so quick.

He brushes your loose hair back, adorning every feature of you. Fever making you look more glowy and swelly. Then when he leans to kiss your forehead he hears the quite whimper escaping from your lips.

He places his hand at your neck to check and you're again burning. Sighing he wakes you up by smoothing his hands down your arm, stroking your hair gently and tapping your cheek with his two fingers.

You're murmuring weepily in your sleep. "Wake up y/n. It's time for your second dose." He keeps his voice slow not to startle you and your eyelids fluttered taking it's time to absorb his presence.

You shift back against the headrest. He brings the glass closer to your lips after giving you medicine. One hand on your head other making you sip water.

"W-wanna go home. Home Harry." You say in your breaths hiccuping and Harry feels so helpless. He tries to calm you down in every way possible.

He knows you're not talking about going back to London. Your talking about your actual homeplace. Then it hits him, that you're both missing that feeling. Even though you're bubbly, happy and cheerful girl you still miss home as Harry does too. You're perfect for eachother.

He takes you in his arms bringing you back to bed. You hug him close to your heart tearing in his embrace, soft whimpers in his ears that's a knife to his stomach. He pecks the side of your head multiple times.

"Home." You sniff eyes dropping. Harry messages your scalp. Your body moving up and down as he breaths. Your continuous blabbering of 'home' dulls to your sleeping breath and Harry's own eyes craved for more drowsiness with you.

He bolts his eyes shut when his phone vibrates under him. "What!?" He spats whisper yelling, you still over him. He doesn't want to disturb you by any means. Not when you're sick and went back to sleep with so much difficulty.

"'M not coming." He declares dryly as his manager tries his best to coax him back to whatever place they want him asap.

He throws his phone onto sheets cuddling back into you, letting your scent to consume him fully. His heart prancing at the thought of serenity he'll feel while sleeping else it's just jolts of anxiety.

***

Next morning your arms were holding onto nothing, there's no shoulder on which you were crying earlier. The room's dull and sheets cold. Sun refused to outshine for today it didn't got any emarld to beam at.

"Harry...?" You whisper innocently rubbing sleepiness from your eyes and when the silence laughed back at your face you sigh sadly.

You knew from the very start that his presence was just a mere touch of heaven and it's not his fault that you never got to complete dive into him.

It's just you and your homesick soul staring blankly at the flower wallpaper. His soft, giddy vanilla smell hugging you from every side. Consuming your body and you didn't realized you'll miss him until now.

Maybe, you and your love was contagious to him.

.

𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 a 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞!!! Don't forget to give your feedbacks.

[fakeloveaskblog]

I do believe it would be for the best for you to have that nice day with Janus that you'd planned to have, Logan. Like you said, you shouldn't neglect your own wellbeing, and your emotional wellbeing looks like it could use the break.

(Words: 3431)

Logan let out a sigh "You're right. Worrying nonstop for Remy won't help them either way"

--

Two days later Janus had a devious smile on his lips as he sat in the passanger seat of Logan's car. His boyfriend had picked him up directly from his apartement. He hadn't said where they were going.

"Let me guess. You are taking me to the woods and surround me by your league of vampires so you can go through with your monthly blood sucking ritual” Janus guessed.

"Oh no dear. That I do with Patty the first thursday of every month" Logan replied druly.

His hands were shaking slightly as he held onto the steering wheel. Every time he looked over to his boyfriend all he could see was Remy passed out with the bruise all around their neck. He could hear every word they'd yelled. His throat tightened.

Logan hit the brake and the car slid to a stop. They were near a park. It was 9 pm and the sky had started to darken.

"We can- We can walk the rest of the way yes? Some fresh air has almost never hurt anyone and the cases where it has are very fascinating" He hoped it would distract him.

“Ah yes because I am so well known for enjoying long walks!” Jan replied sarcastically “Maybe I will if it’s with you”

Logan took out a bag from the backseat. Jan took his boyfriend's free hand and leaned his cheek against his shoulder as they went into the park.

"Is that the bag you're going to hide my body in?"

"I'm afraid the bag is too small for that"

Janus let out an incredibly dramatic gasp while gripping his chest "The rudeness!! Baffling rudeness!!!"

“Yes. I took you here to surprise you with my rudeness”

They went on a path lined with trees until they got to a hill. The trees all but surronded the hill. Aside from some teenagers playing music far away they seemed to be some of the only people in the park.

Once they got to the top Logan pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek “Close your eyes” He murmured into his ear.

His cheeks immediately turned bright red “Well darling since you will now most definitely murder me I am glad your face will be the last thing I see!”

He stood in blindness for at least 3 minutes. His chest was bubbling over with excitement. He didn’t even realize he was shimmying his shoulders to happy stim.

“Alright. My honeysnake you may open your eyes” Logan’s voice was also filled with excitement.

Janus let out a small gasp as he looked. Logan had laid out a star embroidered blanket and sat with his legs crossed on it. He held out a bottle of red wine, his boyfriend’s favorite kind of course. He’d brought several different pastries. Jam drops shaped like hearts, a lemon pie, strawberry bars, 2 cupcakes one with frosting made to look like a snake and one made to look like an owl.

“Oh....” Janus was speechless for a moment before getting a smug smirk on his lips “I see that you’re going in the route of poisoning me through romantic food”

“I am estimating that you will continue with that joke all night, yes?”

“Correct” 

Janus cuddled up to his side. Logan took his hand and pressed a kiss to the top of it before handing him a glass of wine. They clinked their glasses together. The stars had started to come out.

He inspected each and every dessert in an incredibly dramatic fashion before taking a strawberry bar. As soon as he took a bite his eyes went wide.

"Darling which overworked soccer mom did you rob these from???"

Logan triumphantly pointed at himself "This overworked soccer mom. I bake even more than on a regular basis when I am stressed, and I have been experiencing a lot of stress lately"

He held onto his hand harder "My boyfriend senses did go off before. Do you want to talk about it? Or shall I simply push whoever is causing you the stress down a flight of stairs?"

"Oh I wish you would throw him down many stairs" Logan mumbled to himself. ".....It is....quite alright dear. I want this night to be a sort of distraction...for now please dont ask about it"

"My lips are sealed then...but not for the food!"

They cuddled together, ate and drank while looking at the stars. There were no clouds out. No wind. It was like the universe had wanted them to have a good night.

Janus pointed at each and every star constellation he could make out and made an intentionally horrible guess on what it was so Logan could infodump. His eyes were glimmering as he explained it. He looked so beautiful Jan wanted to kiss him endleesly.

“Okay...so..Andromeda was your favorite right?” Janus asked. He had jam on his lips from the sweets (crofters obviously) “Which one is it?”

Logan leaned close to his side and laid his hand on his boyfriend’s chin to move his head to see it “Right there. It’s brightest star is alpha andromedea”

Janus nodded along “Darling what constellation do you think suits me best?”

His expression turned incredibly serious. This was a life or death answer! “Well Patty’s favorite is ursa major aka big bear but you hmmmm Lacerta is a quite obvious once since it’s a lizard...but I think Horologium fits you better"

"Honey all I heard there was you saying ancient latin to summon a demon"

"It’s a pendulum clock! It fits you since they’re mysterious and" He gazed into his boyfriends eyes "They're also very pretty to look at"

Janus let out a pff while shoving his hand in Logan’s face to make him look away "Dork" He chuckled out as his cheeks heated up.

"Oh yes that reminds me"

He pressed a quick kiss to Jan's nose before scrambling around in his bag. He took out a long yellow plush snake. It had a black hat and a red tounge sticking out.

"This was for some reason on my doorstep a few nights ago. It reminded me of you so I thought you should have it"

Janus looked at it with wide eyes "Wait"

He took out a big blue owl plushie from his bag. It had a tiny bow and square glasses. It was incredibly fluffy for an owl.

“This was by my door as well!”

“I am sure there is a logical explanation for this! I am also sure you deserve a snake present”

They switched the plushies. Janus held the snake plushie in his hands and looked down at it’s big kind eyes. He grimaced.

“Darling...I uh already have a snake at home...and  it’s totally not like that owl reminds me of you and I’ve already grown attached to having it in my bed and imagining it’s you or anything...totally not”

Logan let out a breathe of relief “Oh yes! Honey I have been hugging that snake as if it’s my second lung. So I technically don’t need it but it does help me live!”

Janus hugged the owl plushie close to his chest while Logan put the snake around his neck like a scarf. Lo looked over to his boyfriend and got a small smile on his face.

“But my sweet honeysnake you can....slither into my apartement and into my arms whenever the plushie isn’t enough” He moved his hand to his boyfriend’s chin and leaned in. 

Janus flinched away, for a moment there was fear in his eyes.

“I am very sorry” Logan said “I was not intending to kiss you on your lips. I am aware of your boundaries and will not do it until you tell me you’re ready. I was going for your cheek”

“Sorry” He hid his face in the owl’s soft fur so his boyfriend wouldn’t see his embarrassment “I’m sorry”

“There is no reason to apologize here but I will accept your aplogy nonetheless”

Logan gave his boyfriend some time to gather himself, he knew how easily overwhelmed he got. He munched on some of the leftover pie. Janus sunk in on himself. 

“Can I tell you something?” Janus quietly asked while fiddling with the owl’s wing to keep himself calm.

“Of course hun”

“...I contacted Picani..and I have been talking to him. It-it’s only been 3 or so sessions and they’re only like 15 or 30 minutes. It’s barely anything. But I’d thought I’d tell you”

He glanced back up to Logan and was taken aback by the big goofy grin on his lips. It was so unlike him.

“Janus that’s great!” He threw his arms around him and pulled him into a hug so sudden they both nearly tumbled over “I’m so proud of you!”

It took a moment before Janus took it in. He shone up into a smile and leaned into the hug. His nose pressed against the slope of his boyfriend’s neck and the plushies got crushed between them.

"You just sounded uncannily much like Patty" Jan chuckled out.

“I can accept that!” He took his boyfriend’s hand while stimming with the other “Is the therapy helping you progress emotionally? Of course it’s alright if you haven’t yet, asking for help is well enough”

Janus leaned away from him, just a bit so Logan’s arms were still around him but they weren’t pressed against each other. He looked away to the stars and bit the inside of his cheek.

“It’s doing wonders! I don’t have tentacles sprouting out of my back anymore” He tried to joke but it didn’t sound happy “..It is helping...genuinely..It’s just....I think my family might not have been the best. THey weren’t abusive! Not anywhere close! So I am unsure if they really were bad at all, even if Picani says so”

“Oh honey” Logan said it so very softly “They don’t have to have been abusive, or mean to treat you bad. If they hurt you they hurt you. That’s all that matters”

He nodded “Right....right. May I vent about it?”

“Of course”

He moved his hand through the owl’s fur to keep him calm “My mom would comment on what I ate constantly. Anything I ate was too much for her since I already looked disgusting-”

“You don’t. Objectivly so”

“I- I know. But I still think about it every time I eat. And I worry about eating around other people, what if they think I’m gross”

“Then they’re objectivly an asshole and I will kick my knee into their chin. Including your mother!” 

“Logan no!”

“Logan yes!”

Lo knew he had succeeded when Janus let up into a laugh. 

“Oh it was horrible” Janus continued through the last small chuckles “Every time she forced me to go buy clothes with her I would get panic attacks from what she said about my body and I always hid it because I was afraid of what she would say. And the one time she heard me literally sobbing in a dressing room all she said was that I was overreacting and to hurry up”

Logan was very quickly forgetting that the kicking in face thing was supposed to be a joke “Mhm yes that does indeed sound astronomically horrible yes”

Janus wiped his hand over his eye as if to rub memories away “It was....I thought so much of it was normal..I didn’t know-”

“You shouldn’t have had to think like that in the first place”

“I know....I know...They made me feel so much shame...Before I even knew...Just hearing my dad talk about...people like me on the tv made me feel shame before I even fathomed the idea that I could like men”

He let up into another laugh. The kind of laugh that came when he remembered something so bad the only thing he could do to not cry was to laugh.

“I- I’d never heard my mom say anything about it so I tried coming out to her” He chuckled “It didn’t go well! I used a youtube video because I couldn’t physically say the word gay. And then she outed me to my dad behind my back and never told me! I found out through my aunt!”

Logan was moving away from a knee kick and instead thinking of bringing a baseball bat.

“And- And I should have known because right after when- we were on vacation and my dad- I was 14 I think maybe it’s blurry- I-I saw two men hold hands in public and I’d never- I felt so happy- I wanted to run up to them- I couldn’t stop staring and then..and then my dad moved his arm around my shoulders and pointed at them and he looked into my eyes and his voice was so steady” Janus’ eyes had stopped moving, they were staring out into thin air as if he could see it happening again “He told me that what the men were doing was wrong. That We didn’t like that. That it was disgusting. And then he forced me to walk away”

Janus’ hand was shaking as he gripped onto the plushie to keep himself present. Logan gently took one of his hands and pressed a kiss to it.

“You shouldn’t have had to hear that, ever”

“It feels so good to finally tell someone” He sighed “Aside from Picani I’ve held that to myself for so so long....It’s...It’s been so many years. Shouldn’t I be over this. The shame has gotten a bit better...but it’s still there”

“Honey, For how long have you lived without being in contact with those...those wretched humans made out of boiled together pieces of maggot bones?” Logan asked in a straightforward tone.

“Around 14 months? I think? It’s all so blurry. Me before and after meeting you totally don’t feel like 2 different people or anything”

“Mhm. How many times have you gone to therapy?”

“3 times”

“No human being can be expected to recover from several years of trauma, because it is trauma, in such a short amount of time. Especially with such a small amount of professional help��� Logan said in a very agressive but somehow also loving voice while smacking his hand to the top of his boyfriend’s head to pat him.

Janus looked at him. He looked at the way he was trying so hard to comfort him in his own lovely way. Looked around at the stars lighting up their date. Looked at the leftover food his boyfriend had spent time to make just to share between them, because he never saw him as disgusnting no matter what he ate.

He let up into a smile before leaning forward so his and Logan’s foreheads were pressing against each other. He intertwined their fingers. He felt his boyfriend’s breathe against his nose. 

Oh he was so alive. He was holding hands with his boyfriend and he was so alive.

“I love you” Janus murmured out.

Logan shone up into a soft smile “I love you too”

He cupped Janus’ cheeks and leaned even closer. Their eyes met so perfectly. Logan could see the stars mirroring in his boyfriend’s eyes, like a small galaxy.

“And honey- Janus, you’re not perfect because none of us are and you shouldn’t feel the need to be perfect, but there is not a goddamn part of you you should ever feel ashamed of”

A warm feeling filled Janus’ chest. He leaned forward and kissed Logan.

His boyfriend’s lips were so soft against his, he closed his eyes and melted into the kiss. For a moment he didn’t even realize what he’d done, all he could think about was Logan’s warm hands against his cheeks and his lips that tasted like strawberries and coffee.

BUT OH BOY THEN JANUS REALIZED WHAT THE FUCK HE WAS DOING.

He practically flung away from Logan just as suddenly as he’d kissed him. His chest was rapidly heaving up and down as he gasped for breathe. He clasped his hand over his mouth.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t- I’m sorry- I should have asked you before- Sorry” 

Logan was tracing his fingers over his lips, as if he could barely even believe what had just happened “Honey dear sweetheart beloved you” He let out a small happy sound “I think I’ve made it quite clear I was Very ready for you kissing me whenever you wanted to”

“Oh- Oh okay. Phew”

“Your lips taste like crofters! This is amazing! A scientific miracle! I have to study your lips! In multiple ways!!”

Janus let up into a light laugh “Darling there was crofters in the jam drops you made. Of course I taste like crofters”

“hmm. Seems logical. Your lips are still from here on out classified as a scientific miracle either way”

“Can we...” Janus was full on grinning as he nervously asked “Can we kiss again? Please?”

Logan didn’t answer. He simply squeezed his boyfriend’s cheeks and kissed him. And kissed him. And kissed him. 

He kissed so hard they both tumbled over. Janus fell down on his back and Logan used his arms to not fall down on top of him. They looked at each other for a moment, cheeks flushed, lips red, eyes wide, and smiled.

Janus tugged at his boyfriend’s tie to pull him into another kiss. His hand was in his hair, the other on his lower back. His thigh was somewhere pressed against Logan’s ribs. All he could focus on was the feeling of his lips. It felt like electricity was going up and down through his body at hyper speed.

This wasn’t exactly Logan’s first rodeo so he noticed very quickly when Janus opened his eyes and started looking unsure. He quickly moved away and laid himself down beside him. His arm was laid out across his boyfriend’s chest and their hands were still intertwined.

“Sorry. This is totally not at all a lot to take in” Janus panted out “I only need a second and a spa bath to process it”

“That is alright dear” Logan was still grinning. His cheeks started to hurt from it. He let up into happy flaps “I have been waiting for this for approximately 12 months and I will have you know it was very worth the wait. You are a natural my love. The first time I kissed Patty I fell off a swing and broke my glasses immediately afterwards”

Janus giggled at his story. He clasped his mouth shut. The giggles sounded so unlike him. They were so light and loud, but he couldn’t stop giggling. It was like millions of small butterflies were finally leaving his stomach and were transforming right into giggles. 

They laughed together, their bodies pressed close together, as they looked up at the night sky. The tree tops outlined the galaxy above them.

“Darling it was a great night to take me star-gayzing” Janus chuckled out.

Logan stared at him as if he’d just thrown a watermelon into his eye “Was that a pun I heard?! I automatically despise you!”

“You love me! You said it!!” He giggled back.

“How do I keep ending up with pun makers. This is highly ridicolous!"

"Muhahaha. It is all in the plan deary!” Janus moved his arms around mysteriously “The great evil pun plan!"

“I’ll kiss you until you tell me all about it”

“Hard bargain, but I’ll surely manage”

Logan pouted while moving to press a kiss to his boyfriends collar bones. He kept littering kisses to his neck and cheek and nose until kissing him on the lips again.

He wished they weren’t in a public space so he could kiss his wonderful thighs, his stomach rolls, his shoulders, every stretch mark on his chest. So he could give him all the love he'd daydreamed about.

Janus looked at him with a sneaky grin and red cheeks "Would it be acceptable to try with tounge now?"

"Incredibly acceptabe"

He gently moved Janus so he sat on top of his hips. His hands were leaned on either side of Logan’s face. 

"Are you sure I’m not too heavy?" Janus mumbled out.

"Honey Patty is about the same size as you. I am Very used to having my pelvic crushed. In multiple ways"

Janus nodded and let up into a nervous smile. Logan moved his boyfriend’s head close and parced his lips. His hand rested against his cheek.

"You're beautiful. You're so incredibly beautiful" Logan murmured before brining him in for another kiss.

[smooshjames]

forget you not (iv)

you knock on my door and tell me you don’t wanna fight (or: inside jokes and invitations)

word count: 4.5k

a/n: part four of forget you not! this is the second to last part as it stands right now, but i am toying with the idea of writing an epilogue. i haven’t made up my mind on that front quite yet, it’ll probably depend on if there’s any demand for an epilogue once the parts i’ve got written are all finished up. anyway, the usual disclaimers: i didn’t write any of the songs mentioned, they all belong to little mix, this chapter’s songs are here and here (no new ones this time, but i figure i’ll link them anyway for the sake of easy access). here is a link to my ko-fi, which, as usual, is never an obligation. thank you for taking the time to read this, and i hope you enjoy!

warnings: more angst (surprising, right?), an author who is very bad at sketch comedy trying to write characters who are very good at sketch comedy

previous parts: one, two, three

With the red dot on the cameras blinking, you knew it was even more important now that you kept up that positive facade. You did your best to think about good things, hoping your smile wouldn’t look too forced.

To your right, Shayne launched into an energetic intro where he explained the rules of the game and introduced you guys as guests. Once he had given his little speech, he turned to you, though his eyes were fixed on the partition over your shoulder. Still, his smile didn’t waver for even a second. “So, are you guys ready to play?”

You nodded enthusiastically and laughed in easy agreement as you were elected to be the first person in the stool. You filled your mouth with water and flashed a thumbs-up, and out came Alexis. She used an inside joke, which was probably cheating, but it made you spit your water out anyway.

The game went on like this for a while, until finally, the only person yet to try to make you laugh was Shayne. You braced yourself as he asked if you were ready, humming an affirmative and doing your best to keep your breathing even.

He came out holding a red telephone, which he set on top of the bongos.

“Watch this,” he said, flashing you a shit-eating grin. For a second, you felt yourself tilting forward into that grin, into those eyes. Your heart jackhammered in your chest. It was the first genuine smile he’d given you all day, and God it was beautiful. “Hi, Dominos? You’re my favorite pizza place.”

You knitted your eyebrows in confusion.

“Watch this though,” he said. He mashed his finger against the phone buttons and lifted it again. “Hi, Pizza Hut? You’re my favorite pizza place.”

And then he nodded at you a little, smiling expectantly. When you didn’t laugh, he held up one finger. “Watch this though.”

With his free hand, he made a sort of waving motion in the direction of the partition, and out came Damien holding an identical red phone. He handed it to you and then went back to where all the props were. Shayne dialed his phone and made a little ringing sound effect for emphasis. You picked up your phone.

“Hi, Y/N?” he asked. You hummed something vaguely resembling “hello” into the receiver, figuring you might as well play along with the bit. In the same voice, with that same shit-eating grin, he said, “you’re my favorite singer.”

You weren’t sure why, maybe it was the strange vocal inflection or the mirth in his eyes as he said it, but sure enough, you sprayed water all over the soundstage. Shayne laughed gleefully as you did so, and the sound of it made you forget to breathe for just a second; you hadn’t heard that laugh in years. It made your chest ache to hear it again. In a sort of daze, you handed him your prop and he took it backstage.

Everyone came back out and you had to choose who made you laugh the hardest. You picked Damien, who had pranced out in an insanely tangled red wig with a stuffed flamingo in one hand, partially because he had made you laugh really hard and partially because you were trying to procrastinate Shayne's turn as much as possible.

Damien’s round passed quickly, and you managed to make him laugh after a few seconds. He chose Piper to go next, so she took her place on the stool. You went backstage with everyone else and started sifting through props to think of a bit.

And then Shayne fully took his shirt off.

You froze halfway through picking up a cowboy hat. You were pretty sure that anyone listening closely enough could’ve heard the gears in your brain grinding to a halt.

You wondered, if you started running now, how far into the ocean you could get before anyone noticed you were gone.

Carly nudged you with her elbow and asked you to help her with a bit, forcing you to turn away from Shayne, which was probably for the best. You took the opportunity to remind yourself that not only did he have a new girlfriend, but that the two of you didn’t work. You never had and you never would.

And before you knew it, Piper’s round was over, and Shayne was up next. You felt a bolt of panic. You knew you could make him laugh, but you weren’t sure how to go about doing it and you were rapidly running out of time to figure it out. Finally, you decided against every bit of logic you had. You decided to just go with an inside joke.

He probably wouldn’t remember it, anyway. It didn’t really matter. If you didn’t make him laugh it wasn’t the end of the world. At the end of that day, you were just here to promote the band. 

At least, this is what you told yourself as you stood behind the partition waiting for your turn. But your hands were trembling anyway.

Your turn came up. Alexis gave you a little high five on your way out. You walked up to Shayne’s right side and leaned in close to him, careful not to touch him. You looked at him through your eyelashes and shifted your weight from foot to foot. “Hey,” you said, voice low and sultry. Shayne’s brows knitted in confusion, and you feared for a moment that he had forgotten. You were probably only half-audible to the mics, but you didn’t care. You were focused single-mindedly on making Shayne laugh. “I was just wondering… do you like tacos?” You were careful to drag out the vowels on the word ‘tacos.’ You heard Damien start giggling behind the partition.

At least he remembered.

And then Shayne’s eyes widened and he surged forward as he tried to keep the water in. Your heart skipped a beat, though you couldn’t quite pin down why.

“Do you like tacos, Shayne? Do you?” you asked, leaning a little closer. You felt more confident now that you knew he remembered the joke. “Tell me how much you like tacos, Shayne.”

That did the trick. He sprayed water everywhere, shrieking with laughter as he did so.

Once the water was cleaned up, everyone else came back out from behind the partition and Shayne chose Alexis to go next.

After Alexis, it was Carly’s turn, and then you were all done. You had even finished a little bit ahead of schedule.

Ian came over once the cameras were cut, smiling brightly. “That was really good, you guys! Thanks so much for coming in today.”

“Thanks for having us!” Alexis said. “It was a ton of fun.”

You nodded in agreement but you were only half-listening. Shayne had somehow ended up right next to you during the outro of the video, and he hadn't made an effort to move away after the cameras stopped rolling. He was close to you, maybe a little closer than necessary, and that fact was all you could focus on.

As you were listening to Ian talk about when the video would be released, you felt Shayne wrap his hand around your forearm, squeezing lightly to get your attention. That one simple touch set your entire right side on fire. You felt like he’d lit off a fireworks display under your skin. You turned to face him, and you couldn’t help noticing that he looked more than a little bit like a kicked puppy.

“Can we talk?” he asked. His voice was soft, a stark contrast to how loud he’d been just minutes before as you were filming the video outro. “Just for a few minutes, please?”

At these questions, a knot of mixed emotion -- fear, anger, a little misguided hope -- gathered in a knot at the base of your spine and squeezed so hard you went lightheaded with it.

You glanced around for Michelle, who was watching you like a hawk. You tilted your head toward Shayne and shrugged. She nodded.

“Okay,” you replied. In all honesty, you weren’t sure why you said yes. You didn’t know what he could possibly have to say to you. Your mind raced with all the worst-case scenarios; that he would rub his new girlfriend in your face, that he would say something mean or insulting, that he would tear down what little you had managed to build yourself up. You wrestled those ideas into submission, though. Shayne had made his mistakes, but he had never been intentionally cruel.

He led you back through the office until he found an empty conference room. You closed the door behind you as you entered.

“What’s up?” you asked. You cringed as it was coming out of your mouth. Really? What’s up?

Now that you were alone, some of his forced Funny Man bravado seemed to crumble away. His shoulders slumped and the shine went out of his eyes, and the look he gave you was sad, exhausted.

You felt like the earth was rotating the wrong way, like God had vacuum sealed the room shut, like Saturn was crashing into Jupiter and imploding on impact.

“I, um…” he mumbled. He shoved his hands into his pockets and chuckled nervously. For a moment, you were reminded of the first time he’d asked you out. You’d both been so young then, and he had been all nerves and goofy smiles. You knew even from that first conversation that you were a goner. “I should’ve planned out what I was gonna say, huh? I had all weekend to think about it.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” you said. “This weekend has been… a series of really fucking weird, awful coincidences. You don’t have to, like, apologize. We’ll just chalk it up to being a series of unfortunate events.”

His brow furrowed and his head tilted slightly, which really intensified the whole kicked puppy vibe he had going. Your heart ached, and there was a moment where the muscles in your legs twitched, where your body tried to move itself over to him without your brain’s consent.

You stayed rooted to your place.

“What?” he asked, voice small, barely even audible over the hum of the air conditioning.

You shrugged. “It’s okay, Shayne. I’m not, like, upset that you moved on --”

Bold-faced lie number one.

“Wait,” he said, but you couldn’t hear him over the blood roaring through your ears.

“-- and Courtney seems really nice, so I’m happy that you’re happy --”

Bold-faced lie number two.

“No, just --” he tried to interrupt you again, but you kept going.

“-- and I’m sorry that we had to see each other again in this context, it’s been… really fucking weird. But that doesn’t mean you need to try to make it better, okay? Don’t worry about me.”

Bold-faced lie number three.

Before you could conjure up more ways to end the conversation and escape the room, Shayne took a halting step forward.

“Courtney and I aren’t dating,” he said. Your mouth snapped shut as your brain slammed on the brakes. “We’re just friends. I went to the concert with her because the person she was supposed to go with canceled last minute and she couldn’t find anybody else.”

Oh.

“And I’m sorry we had to see each other again in this context, too, but not because I want to patronize you by telling you that I’m sorry things didn’t work out. I mean I am sorry things didn’t work out, but not in like a My Life Is Better Now, Sorry About That kinda way --” he stopped, faltering, obviously unsure of how to put his thoughts into words.

Oh.

“I mean, if anything, you’re the one who’s better now; --” wait, what? “-- you’re successful, doing what you love, surrounded by your friends, and you’ve clearly moved on. --” wait, what? “-- But I just wanted to talk to you because… I don’t really know why, honestly. Because a part of me is still twenty-one and in love with you, I guess.”

So that was what it was like to have every organ in your body simultaneously crushed under a hydraulic press. Interesting.

You couldn’t think of anything poetic to say, so you settled for what seemed the most pressing. “You think I cried on stage singing Towers, a song I wrote about you, because I’m over you? You think I’m the one who’s moved on?”

He shrugged meekly. “I don’t know. That was just one song. You sang a hell of a lot of other songs about how you don’t need a man, about how your life is great. And those aren’t bad things! They were really good songs, but I just assumed --”

“Carly and Alexis wrote all those songs,” you said flatly. He fell silent. “I just sing them.”

There was a moment of silence that seemed to last an eternity, and then there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” Shayne said, his eyes still locked on yours.

A tall brunet man with a thick beard opened the door and stuck his head inside. “Hey,” he said. “There’s a meeting in here in five minutes.” And then he looked between the two of you, and his eyes narrowed. You figured the tension in the room was so palpable, even a stranger could pick up on it. “Everything okay, Shayne?”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Shayne replied. “We’ll be out of here in a minute. Sorry, Matt.”

“No problem,” the man, Matt, said. He nodded at you in acknowledgment, seeming more than a little confused at your presence. The door closed softly as he left.

“It’s probably for the best,” you said. “Michelle will have a coronary if I’m gone for too long. Places to be, people to see, insanely specific and personal questions to answer.”

He laughed a little bit, nodding, and for a moment the heavy awkwardness that had settled in the room seemed to lift just slightly. “Is your number still the same?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you replied. “Why?”

“I’ll text you my new address. Um, if you can, if you want to, it would probably be good for you to come over tonight to talk a little more. I can order some dinner for us. Only if you want to. I just don’t think… I don’t want to leave things this way.”

A sudden bolt of anger streaked through you, fiery hot. You clenched your jaw. He didn’t want to leave things this way? He had no qualms with leaving things this way when he’d let your entire relationship go down the drain all those years ago. And now he just got to waltz back in and invite you over for dinner and pretend he didn’t cause you the worst heartbreak you’d ever felt? After you had finally gotten yourself close to okay again, he got to come back in and ruin everything, knock you right back down to where you started? That wasn’t fucking fair.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to,” you said, and it wasn’t a lie. You still had one more interview after leaving the Smosh offices. You’d be completely worn out by the time that was done, especially on top of the exhaustion from the emotional rollercoaster that you’d boarded against your will.

“I’ll send the address anyway,” Shayne said. “Don’t feel pressured to come. If you don’t, I completely get it. You can delete the text and block my number if you want. I swear that after this I’ll never bother you again. But just in case.”

“Okay,” you replied. You really didn’t want to argue with him. You just wanted to track down Michelle and the band and go on your way to the next interview and try to forget about everything that had happened in the last three days. “Fine.”

He nodded and pulled out his phone, and after a moment you felt your own vibrate in your back pocket. You wondered briefly if he had your number memorized, which would have been kind of weird, or if he’d just never deleted your contact information. The notion that the latter might be true made your heart skip a beat.

Once he had repocketed his phone, he looked up at you. There was a moment of lingering silence where it was clear that neither of you knew what to say.

Finally, you lifted your hand in farewell. “It’s been, um… it was good to see you again, Shayne.” Bold-faced lie number four. “Bye.”

“Bye, Y/N,” he said.

Doing your best to ignore the tightness in his voice, you walked past him out of the room and scurried off to meet up with the band. You found them talking to Courtney, Damien, and another girl that you didn’t recognize. She was about Courtney’s height, Chinese, with brown hair and eyes.

“Ready to go, Y/N?” Piper asked.

“I think so,” you said. You turned to Damien and nodded your head over your shoulder. “Got a minute for goodbye?”

He nodded and the two of you retreated away from the rest of the group, not leaving their view but definitely out of earshot. “I’m sorry I couldn’t warn you,” he said.

“It’s okay, Damien, really,” you replied. You reached out to squeeze his arm reassuringly. “This weekend was wild for everybody involved. At least we got to see each other again, right? This has been really nice.”

He grinned and pulled you into another bear hug. “Yeah, it has been,” he said, and you felt it as a rumble in his chest more than you actually heard it. When you parted, he left one hand lingering on your arm and squeezed lightly before it dropped to his side. “Call sometime, okay? I’ve missed you.”

“Will do, Dames.” You glanced over your shoulder and saw Michelle looking at you expectantly. She tapped her wristwatch. You sighed. “I gotta run. I’ll see you around.”

He nodded and said a final goodbye before you turned to make your way back to the band. You noted on your way that Shayne had returned from the conference room. He was talking to Courtney and the brunette now.

You ignored the feeling of his eyes on you as you walked out of the offices and into the LA sunlight beyond.

***

Shayne came back from the conference room a few seconds after you did. He did his best not to watch you and Damien saying goodbye, did his best to push down the surge of jealousy as you hugged him. You were smiling up at him and it seemed easy, carefree. It was like you’d just seen each other yesterday. He wished he could be like that with you, even though he knew why he couldn’t. He was doomed to sad smiles and airless rooms and awkward tension so thick you could cut it with a knife.

If time travel was real, he’d go back to that final night with you and kick his own ass.

Damien’s hand on his shoulder startled him out of his self-loathing. He turned to face his best friend and didn’t bother concealing the hurt on his face; Damien would see right past it even if he tried.

“You okay?” Damien asked. Shayne let out a strangled laugh. Of course he wasn’t okay.

“I feel like somebody tried to wring all the water out of my body,” he replied.

“What’s up with you today?” Courtney asked, and Shayne startled. He’d sort of forgotten she was there.

Shayne sighed. He figured he might as well tell her; she’d probably find out at some point anyway. That or she’d piece it together herself.

“Y/N and I used to be a couple, way back when,” he said. Courtney’s eyes went almost comically wide. “And it… didn’t end very well. Seeing each other again has been really fucking weird for both of us.”

“That’s why she cried when she sang Towers,” Courtney said, more to herself than to anyone in the room. She looked at Damien. “Is that why you know her? ‘Cause of her and Shayne?”

Damien shook his head. “Me and her were friends first. I introduced them.”

Courtney nodded slowly, obviously trying to process this new information. “Oh,” she said. Shayne couldn’t tell where her brain was (he rarely could). If he had to guess, he’d say she was probably combing over her every memory of the past weekend and looking for any indications of the history between you and Shayne. Sure enough, she continued after a moment: “that’s why she looked so constipated when we were at the photo op, and why you ‘needed some air’ halfway through the concert, and why you got all weird when I put my arm around your shoulders before, and why you disappeared after --” she stopped, her brows furrowing for a moment and then raising suddenly. She smirked. “Where’d you go after you finished filming, Shayne? You both came back pretty much at the same time.”

“Courtney --” Shayne said, voice scolding, trying to get her to stop whatever hellish train of thought she was getting onto.

“You’re still in love with her, huh?” Olivia said. She’d been silent for most of the conversation, but she was looking at him like she could see into his soul. Shayne froze. Was he that fucking obvious?

“Still in love with who?” Ian’s voice to his left startled him.

Courtney and Olivia stopped talking now, which Shayne was grateful for. They at least had the decency to let Shayne tell Ian on his own. Everyone looked from Ian to Shayne and back.

“Uh --” Shayne said. “I, um…”

“Is this about whatever weird shit is between you and the girl from the band?” Ian asked. Shayne threw his hands in the air, frustrated. Did the whole world know? Was he that easy to read?

“How did you…?”

“I’ve known you for almost five years, Shayne,” Ian replied. “You looked like you wanted to die during that entire shoot. There were a couple of moments it was so bad that I almost asked Courtney to come in and take your place. But the crew people said it didn’t come through on camera, so I just chalked it up to the fact that I know you so well. You also left with her right after we were done filming. Putting two and two together here doesn’t exactly take a rocket scientist.”

Shayne sighed and ran a frustrated hand through his hair, which made it look even more insane than it usually did. “We dated years ago. The way it ended was my fault. I shouldn’t have broken up with her. I shouldn’t have let her go. She was… she is one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met. This weekend has rubbed everything I did wrong right into my face.”

“Is that it, then?” Courtney asked. “She walks out of here and you let her? After the universe, fate, whatever you wanna call it put in all the effort to bring you together again… you let her go? You repeat your biggest mistake?”

Shayne had to force down an anguished sound at that. He knew Courtney was trying to get him to chase after you, but in reality, she was probably right. You wouldn’t want to come to his apartment to talk things out. You wouldn’t want to see him after everything. You wouldn’t forgive him. And he didn’t deserve your forgiveness, anyway. You were absolutely right to ignore the invitation.

“I asked if she would come over,” he said. He was trying to be hopeful. But he’d seen the way your eyes narrowed when he invited you to his place. Your jaw had dropped and then tightened in that way it did when you were torn between anger and disbelief. “If she does, maybe we can talk things out. But it’s been years. I don’t know if she’ll… I don’t know, you guys.”

He was breathing, that much he knew, but he was sort of starting to wonder if someone had poked a hole in his trachea because he was pretty sure the air wasn’t making it to his lungs. He looked around at his friends, all staring at him like he should know the answer, like he should be able to just whip a magical solution out of his ass and call it a day, a happy ending with a neat little bow.

“I’m gonna take a walk,” he said, a little louder than necessary, because the room was suddenly way too fucking small. Before anyone could object, he walked quickly away from the group and down the hall until he found an empty soundstage. He slumped against the wall and slid down onto the ground. The events of the last three days were piling onto his shoulders like bricks. Memories of you were branded onto his brain and he couldn’t stop replaying them, a highlight reel of what he’d had and what he’d lost. You, years ago, laughing and looking at him like he was the only person in the room. You, years ago, standing in the living room, looking at him like he’d just driven a knife through your heart.

In an instant, he felt like Atlas, holding the weight of his own mistakes. Holding memories both good and bad; your first date, your first kiss, your first fight. You had said ‘I love you’ first because he wasn't brave enough, and you’d looked terrified as you did it, like you were afraid he’d laugh at you and push you away. You’d always looked half-scared, he realized; scared of rejection and pain and heartbreak. And he’d gone and thrown those fears right back in your face.

It took about three seconds for Shayne to collapse in on himself. He barely made it to the couch before his knees gave out on him. He stared up at the ceiling for a long while, desperately trying to process whatever the hell had just happened.

You were gone, and the apartment felt empty without you. It was a new type of loneliness, one he’d never experienced before. He felt a little like his chest was caving in and little like he was astral projecting, like he wasn’t quite contained within the walls of his body. He reached for his phone and sent you a barely-coherent text, apologizing and asking you to come home. And then he texted Damien and asked if he was home. He needed someone’s company.

He stared up at his ceiling while he awaited a response, considering all the things that had led him to this newest, most monumental fuck-up. Suddenly, the time he’d forgotten your birthday made him look like Boyfriend of the Year.

And then he reached into his pocket and he produced the little blue box he’d gotten just yesterday, and he opened it and looked at the ring inside. Not too flashy -- he didn’t have the money for any big diamonds, and you’d once joked that you didn’t want your engagement ring to weigh five tons. He smiled at the memory and traced his finger over the small diamond at the center of the ring.

God, what the fuck had he just done?

Shayne’s head thumped against the wall behind him, and he cried.

[idontgiveaflyinggrayson69]

Colton Parayko N/SFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Colton is so good with aftercare. He likes to take care of you, so he’ll get you a warm towel and wipe you off, get you some water, run you a bath if things were really intense. And he’ll hold you. He likes to pull you to his chest, kiss the top of your head and talk to you while you both fall asleep. 

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He really likes his legs. They’re big and strong and make him a really good hockey player. And he knows that girls find strong legs attractive. And he loves the way you look when you ride his thighs.

On you, he likes your ass. Colton is an ass guy and he just loves it when you wear leggings or short shorts or a tight dress, the things that accent you ass. He loves to let his hand drift down to your ass when the two of you are out.  

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He likes to cum in you. He’s a possessive dom and he likes the idea of leaving a piece of himself inside you. And when it drips you? He scoops it back up and pushes it back in, his eyes dark as he looks at you. “Can’t have you wasting any of daddy’s cum, now can we?”

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wants to make a sex tape with you for when he’s on the road. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s had a lot of practice. He knows what he’s doing and he knows how to be a good dom. 

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Colton likes anything lets him be in control, but he loves pinning you down to the mattress and hooking one or both of your legs over his hip.

And he also likes doggy style where he can either press your face into a pillow or pull your body back against his chest and wrap one of his hands around your throat. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Normally, Colton is not goofy. He’s a dom through and through, so he’s very serious. He wants to make you moan and feel good, and he’s not one to be goofy. If something were to come up, rolling off the bed, tripping on discarded clothes, etc., he’ll laugh, maybe crack a joke. And if you were have slow sex in the morning, it’ll be soft and giggly, but other than that, he’s not goofy. 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He keeps things tamed. Shaves around the edges so it’s neat and keeps it trimmed. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

First and foremost, Colton wants to take care of you, make you feel good and such, so the intimacy is in that. On Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, and birthdays he’ll take things slow, probably pull out the rose petals and candles, but that’s it.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Colton prefers to get off with you, so he doesn’t masturbate too much. When he does, it’s usually through phone sex with you or in the shower after a loss on the road when he needs a release to feel better.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Choking. He won’t do it too hard (and not at all if you’re not 100% comfortable with it), but he likes how much you trust him to submit to him like that.

And he likes it when you call him daddy. 

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Behind locked doors. Colton likes to keep things private. Mostly, he prefers to keep things to the bed, but he also likes shower sex and sex on the kitchen counter every now and then.

(Though, he would much prefer to sit you down on the kitchen counter, spread your legs, and eat you out like it was his dinner)

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Colton really likes it when you kiss below his ear and whisper that you love him. It pulls at the softness of his heart and reminds him that he’s doing a good job as your dom.

And it really gets him going when you wearing nothing but lacy blue panties under his jersey when you wait for him in bed after a game. 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Let you dominate him. He’s a dom through and through and he can’t bring himself to give up that kind of power. He can’t let himself submit.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Foreplay is a must with how big he is, so Colton was mastered the art of eating a girl out. He’s amazing at it and he knows the best ways to make you fall apart. And he likes it. He loves making you cum with his mouth, he likes the way you taste and the way he has to pin your legs down because you keep tightening them around his head. He loves eating you out.

He’s certainly not against getting a blowjob, and he does like pushing you down to your knees, holding your hair in his hand as he guides you down his cock. But, he certainly does prefer giving. He’s a giver. 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends on his mood. Colton likes things hard and rough, but he could just as easily take things slow with you. Regardless, it’s always firm and he is always in control. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’s not a huge fan of quickies. He needs to take the time to stretch you out before hand and he likes to take his time, and he can’t do either with quickies. Not to mention it’s kinda hard to find a place to have a quickie when you’re as big as Colton…

That being said, if you made his jealous when the two of you were out, or if you teased him, on the way home, he will intentionally take a route with a dark, empty road so that he can pull over and bend you over the hood of his car. And if he does… My god you better be ready when you get home because you are in for a punishment…

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He knows what he likes, so he doesn’t bring a lot of ideas to you, but if you brought an idea to him and he’s almost guaranteed to say “yes.” He wants to please you and as your dom, it’s his job to make sure his babygirl is well taken care of.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Colton is not only gifted in his size, he’s also gifted in the fact that he can last. And if you give him like an hour, he’ll be able to go again. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He loves toys. In the beginning he was nervous and unsure about them. He didn’t know a whole lot and so the whole “toy shopping” thing was intimidating to him. But now he loves them and he loves using them to tease you.

He’s a huge fan of blindfolding you, pressing a vibrator to your clit and just talking to you. Telling you how pretty you look, how wet you are, how he couldn’t wait to feel your tight little pussy around his cock. 

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Colton lives to edge you. Ghosting his fingers and lips across your skin, pulling every gasp, moan and arch from you. It feels so good but it’s tortuous at the same time because you just want more, want him to pick up the pace.

He also teases you outside of the bedroom. He keeps his hand on your lower back and whisper all the things he wants to do to you in your ear. If you make him jealous or get handsy with another guy, he’ll take you to the bathroom and lean right in, ghosting his lips over yours before slipping his hands up your skirt and taking your underwear off and putting them in his pocket and walking out, leaving you there.

He is literally such a tease. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s not really a vocal kind of guy, just some soft moans. He’s really more of dirty talker. Colton is so soft spoken and quiet and sweet and he’s notlike that in the bedroom. He says the filthiest things and it’s amazing. 

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Since he’s so good at dirty talk, he’s amazing at phone sex and it’s something that occurs frequently when he’s away on road trips. 

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Colton is a big boi and hung like a horse. He’s big. And thick. Honestly, it’s probably a little intimidating at first. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He’s a horny little shit, but he is really good about keeping it hidden. He can control himself and he doesn’t get grouchy without sex (unlike some people), but he yearns quite a lot. 

Z = ZZZ (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn’t fall asleep to fast. He likes to stay up and cuddle for a bit, talk to you about whatever, just enjoy some time with you while he traces patterns on your back.

[nofliight]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by: stole it from @sternenteile​ and honestly others tbh tagging: TAKE

my muse is:  canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [ for better or for worse, he’s THE face of kid icarus, after all. he’s a dork and funny and likeable and even if the fandom tends to get him WRONG (thanks smash bros) there’s no denying his popularity ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ i don’t??? think so??? most people are too busy talking about how they think he’s like 5 ]

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ EVEN THE FANDOM AIN’T GONNA MESS THIS UP. MAN FIGHTS GODS. CALL THAT WEAK. ]

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. [ make no mistake - pit’s got fans and plenty of them but he’s so MISTREATED by the fandom. his character is a lot more complex than he gets credit for and smash bros in particular is a big reason people think he’s just Big Dumb Baby Man ]

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. [ HE’S THE MAIN CHARACTER, THE CENTRAL FIGURE UPON WHOM THE NARRATIVE IS STRUCTURED AROUND, YEAH HE’S PRETTY RELEVANT. Uprising is literally made to tell the story of a war exclusively through the perspective of a single side and Pit (and Palutena) are the EMBODIMENT of that whole side. ]

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ and a perfect one at that. he’s literally a perfect protagonist don’t tell me i’m wrong cause i’m not ]

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. [ pit is beloved by humans... and mocked by the Gods. seen by most as a spineless extension of palutena’s will, most “respect” of any variety goes to palutena while he gets treated as a joke 99% of the time... and it’s not like Palutena gets too much respect either ]

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. (????) [ Uhhhhhh... it’s an odd one. Short answer is that Pit’s a good samaritan who’s done a lot of good BUT most of the gods think protecting humanity is a Folly and a Joke and that Pit’s just a pawn of Palutena’s and while the humans do hold a lot of respect for him, uh............. let’s just say, some humans on the surface have reasons not to be too happy with him. ]

How strictly do you follow canon?  —  about as much as I need to to respect one of my favorite video games of all time. while kid icarus uprising is a comedic game most of the way through it has a lot more nuance and depth to itself, its world, and its characters than one can see at first glance, even after a full playthrough. if you let yourself get invested in the characters, take a closer look at the dialogue it provides, and acknowledge the central, core storytelling message of the game for what it is, there’s a lot more to pull out than one would think. that being said, it’s still a comedic video game and one that I think could use some more expansion. though the game is inconsistent there seems to be the consensus that pit is like a child and I’m not into that, mine’s a bit more showing in his cynical and snarky side after all he’s been through and overall there’s a lot of expansion on the base while building it into something unique.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  imagine your typical bootstrapped anime protagonist. someone who, when younger, was a runt who couldn’t meet the expectations of others, was looked down on, and found himself crushed and hurt and near-killed by a great tragedy that he was forced to claw his way out of to make himself stronger. Now imagine all of that with a character who comes out still able to have a very real smile and ultimately comes out of it a self-assured, chipper goofball with a good heart. now put that together with all of the darkness and depth you would have expected to be there, but scattered realistically throughout the attitude of someone who does genuinely want to keep a positive attitude. someone who is sincerely an optimist who’s grown past his weaker days, but isn’t quite so simple as he’d like to believe. all of that combined with someone who can’t read, is willing to eat ice cream off the floor in times of duress, is extremely easy to fluster and can channel his goddess’ power to slay GODS? you got one strong man.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  his positive attitude is what most people will see when speaking to him, because for what it’s worth, he’s not actively lying about his depth. he’s a cheerful, jovial man with a big smile and a love of the world around him - which is all well and good, but his depth is something you have to find, even if it is reasonably clear if you’re willing to look. he’s also portrayed as a bit unreasonably dumb at times, and though I personally justify the worst of it with proper explanations, I can understand reducing some of the value of the character in favor of seeing all of his Jokes

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  i made my original pit blog, flightlesswarrior, on a total whim after playing kid icarus uprising. cute character, fun premise, why not? but over time, and with numerous plots I was able to take part in exploring the serious, not so serious, shipping, tragedy, and going back through the game to keep my muse rolling, it occurred to me more and more with time just how nuanced and interesting pit and co. really are. pit embodies many of the things i really, truly love in a protag, falling firmly on the side of good, having a heart of genuine gold, and having nuances and parts of his personality that are less than savory without making him seem like a contradiction. he’s got depth, he’s got story, there’s a lot to explore and flesh out... and he’s also just a nice, friendly guy who gets along well with others. plus, i’m drawn to dorks.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  a) love for Kid Icarus: Uprising. a game that helped me gain a deeper and more insightful understanding of character development, subtle storytelling, optimism still tinged with legitimate and healthy cynicism, and overall something that changed my understanding of character development and storytelling forever. and b) spite. the fandom treats him like an idiot baby and smash DOES NOT help matters so i have to remind others that he is a veteran of a war, a socially inept loser with few real friends, and someone who’s kindness and optimism was shaped and molded by its hardships in a way that doesn’t require a near-breaking point or a reminder that “this guy could be evil you know” to show how someone can still keep a positive attitude in spite of all the shit life throws at him.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO [ i’d like to think i have?? but i also acknowledge that he’s become something of his Own in some ways that do intentionally diverge from sakurai’s intentions. ultimately though, even though i may not play him completely true to text, i try to be as loyal as i can be to the spirit of the character. ]

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? [ when i can!! but??? the problem is my mind really, really likes to reiterate the Same Damn Points i have to make with characters that draws me to them - and you know, writing the same hcs over and over is generally considered poor form?? ngl i also prefer to let the writing do the talking unless it’s something that’s not gonna show so 90% of the time pit’s open enough that all but the darker sides of his mind are lain out before you. ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO [ maybe??? once or tWICE???? but i need to write more ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO [ I REALLY DO, HOO MAMA. i have a lot of thoughts about him, his depth, potential relationships, goofy thoughts, more serious fanfic ideas im never gonna write and don’t get me started on how many SHIPS i have to think about for him ]

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO [ my portrayal is made out of spite for portrayals in the fandom and some supplementary material that gets him wrong - it’s kinda hard to do that without the confidence ]

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO / ??? [ it’s uhh........ complicated??? i don’t think writing is my expertise, tbh. but it is the best way i have to show the passion i have for characters, by putting their nuances into actions, by allowing them to shine from who they are their core, by exploring relationships and scenarios and struggles and hope and everything that can flesh a character out. whether or not i’m a good writer is something i’m still sorting out - but i’m proud of my ability to develop a character, and to that end i feel like i’m doing fine ]

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / SORTA. [ on one hand......... very. i have a tendency to overthink everything i do and look back at moments i made an ass of myself that keep haunting me throughout my day - they haunt me. i only have two fears: what my immediate friend group thinks of me and the crushing existential weight of worrying one day i’m gonna ruin everything i am SOFT. that being said, i’m also hardheaded and stubborn and i’m not afraid to go off on someone i don’t have much respect for if it comes down to it. i’m easy to anger when it comes down to it you know i guess that proves the point huh i’m not stonefaced at all ]

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  i try to? it’s a bit touchy for me I admit just because I do take portrayals and try to make them my own, but i am willing to listen if someone has any points they’d like to make that i haven’t acknowledged properly. if criticism IS had, lemme know, i do wanna hear it!

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —   Y  E  S

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  not that everyone who disagrees with my opinions has to explain themselves of course, but i do sincerely like the chance to learn if something i’m doing doesn’t quite feel right. even if it’s one-sided and i’ll come to disagree, i’m happy to listen! even if i don’t agree with the disagreement head-on, i like to keep them in mind and see what i can shift around to acknowledge them if necessary

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  — neutral?? i mean don’t be mean about it, but if you just think my pit doesn’t seem right or it doesn’t click right with your muse i’m not gonna throw a fit about it. everyone’s allowed to view a character in their own way - and even if i may get salty about those who oversimplify him, it IS anyone’s right to view him how they will.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  — agree to disagree tbh. i can’t pretend it wouldn’t disappoint me, but it’s not like, worth ending a friendship over or anything. everyone’s got their own viewpoints to run on

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  sure, within reason! i take pride in my grammar but i know that with my fast typing and often running on only a few hours of sleep some problems do slip in through the cracks. while i generally either catch them or just Die with them i’m all ears if i mess up

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  uhhhhhhhhhh well i’m?? kind of a socially anxious mess honestly which DOES make being easy going a bit difficult BUT i do try and be friendly and sociable as i....... can. i’m too scared to talk to people and CAN say some dumb things but i’m not a hardass or anything!! i like to talk and Yell and shitpost and pretty much do anything but write tbh DHFLKSJDF

[nerdforestgirl]

Note:  I’m sorry I haven’t been writing much.  Focus has been a little hard to come by lately.  I wonder why.  Anyway, here's a little story about Raj, Lincoln, and Howard.  I hope you guys are staying safe and healthy.  <3

“Why don’t you go for a walk?” Bernadette suggested to Howard after Halley just hit him in the balls with her toy waffle bat. It was an accident, but it was clear that Howard needed a break from the kids. And maybe an ice pack.

“I don’t think I can,” Howard choked out.

“Go sit in the car and listen to a podcast,” Bernadette said. She felt bad about Howard getting hurt, and she could handle the kids alone for an afternoon. They teased each other, but of course she wanted to give him some time when he needed it.

Howard nodded. He grabbed his keys to his car and left. He struggled to walk to the car, but eventually he made it. As his pain eased, he decided to go get some ice cream and take a drive. Obviously he loved his kids, but sometimes it wasn’t easy being a parent. He appreciated Bernadette giving him a break.

After the drive thru cup of ice cream was carefully placed between his legs to help continue easing his pain, Howard decided to drive over to Raj’s place. He wanted to play some video games and pretend for an hour that he was still single and childless. He went to the door and just let himself in like he always did.

“Hey!” Howard said as he walked in. Then he paused because Raj wasn’t alone. Raj sat on the couch with his boyfriend, Lincoln’s head in his lap. They were watching a movie together.

“Hi,” Raj said. He wasn’t at all bothered that his best friend let himself in even if he wasn’t expecting him at all.

“I didn’t realize that you had company. I’ll go,” Howard offered.

“No. Stay,” Lincoln said as he sat up to make space on the couch. He pat the spot next to him to welcome Howard. He didn’t know Raj’s best friend very well, and he welcomed the opportunity to get to know him better. Raj was always “Howard this and Howard that.”

Howard was trying to come to terms with the fact that his best friend in the world was in a relationship with a man. Logically he knew that there wasn’t anything wrong with Raj being bi. He wasn’t worried that Raj would hit on him or anything like that. Still, it felt weird. Howard wondered if maybe it was this particular guy. Raj loved Lincoln, but Howard wasn’t so sure.

“Halley got a little excited with a new toy, and she hit me in the balls with it. I thought I’d come over and see if you wanted to play some video games. I’ve been given a reprieve from fatherhood for the rest of the afternoon,” Howard explained as he limped over to the couch.

Both of the men sympathetically covered themselves as Howard told the story.

“Of course, dude,” Raj said immediately.

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to be that guy, but can we watch the movie for literally one more minute? This is my favorite scene in the whole movie. Then I promise, video games all the way,” Lincoln requested.

“What are you watching, anyway?” Howard asked. It looked like Kate Winslet and Jack Black sat at a piano together on the paused screen in front of them. Howard knew some of Raj’s favorite movies, but this one was unfamiliar.

“The Holiday,” Lincoln answered.

That meant almost nothing to Howard, but he gestured to the screen that they should continue. He had already interrupted what looked like date night. The least he could do was let them keep watching the scene.

The scene consisted of Jack Black playing the piano for Kate Winslet while they flirted. It became clear that this was a romantic comedy. Howard wasn’t sure what made this scene so special, but he looked over at where Lincoln had his face buried in Raj’s shoulder the as they shared a moment of joy Howard didn’t understand.

“He only used the good notes for her,” Lincoln repeated the line from the movie. It seemed that it was the part he had been waiting for because Raj turned it off as it cut to a scene of Cameron Diaz and Jude Law in bed. That’s the scene Howard would rather watch.

“I know. It’s so good,” Raj gushed back to Lincoln.

“Sorry about that,” Lincoln said after he cleared his throat and turned back to Howard. Lincoln’s voice was purposefully lowered in pitch as if he felt awkward about the moment of joy.

Howard just nodded a little nod because he wasn’t quite sure what else to say. With Lincoln clearly embarrassed, Howard wondered at the reaction to the movie. It wasn’t for Howard’s benefit. It seemed that he loved the goofy movie just as much as Raj did.

“What should we play? Something all three of us can play?” Raj asked.

“No. Go ahead. I’ll just watch,” Lincoln said. Then he turned to Howard and asked, “Want an actual ice pack? It looks like your ice cream is melting.”

“Uh. Sure,” Howard said.

Raj grabbed the Xbox controllers and started up Halo for some old school comfort. Lincoln got Howard that ice pack and a spoon so Howard could eat his ice cream while playing. Then Lincoln settled in to watch them play their game. Howard assumed that Lincoln wasn’t interested in the game, but after a while Raj got stuck.

“Baby, gimme!” Lincoln shouted and took the controller from Raj’s hands. Then he quickly got Raj out of the jam.

“He always does that. Drives me crazy. I think that’s why he wasn’t going to play,” Raj told Howard quietly.

“Fine. Fine. I’ll go pick up dinner,” Lincoln offered instead. “How does Indian sound?” he teased knowing that Raj hated Indian food.

“I want Chinese,” Raj teased back. “He hates Chinese food,” he explained to Howard.

“You both hate the food from where you’re from?” Howard asked. Could these two be any more alike?

“I love English food,” Lincoln said with an intentionally increased accent. He never really lived in London, but his father’s accent still influenced his own speech. It wasn’t hard for him to affect an English accent. “And I love Chinese food that my Wai po makes in China. I gain ten pounds every time I go visit my grandparents in China. What we have here is not Chinese food.”

“We’ll see if you ever take me to China,” Raj joked.

“Pizza, then? Are you staying for dinner, Howard?” Lincoln asked as he pulled on his jacket.

“Sure. If you don’t mind,” Howard said.

Lincoln nodded and headed out to pick up dinner for the three of them.

“What do you think?” Raj asked after Lincoln was gone for a couple minutes.

“I think we should go up that way,” Howard said about the game.

“I mean Lincoln. This is the first time the three of us have hung out.”

Howard paused the game. He let out a sigh, and tried to gather his thoughts.

“I’ll admit that this whole thing kinda freaked me out. Not that you’re bi or whatever, but I guess the reality of you dating a man made me uncomfortable. I knew I was being stupid and that it was my hang up, so I didn’t say anything to you about it. It wasn’t your problem. But...” Howard knew he was already screwing this up based on Raj’s face.

“But what?” Raj asked, clearly hurt. This was who he was, and he thought that Howard was cool with it.

“But I couldn’t pick a more perfect person for you if I tried. Like, yes, he’s very handsome, but there’s so much more that he just seems to get. He probably even knows what Notting Hill means.”

“He does! He promised to take me the next time he goes back to a London to visit his family!”

“See? He’s just such a...” Howard struggled to come up with a word. Raj looked worried that something mean might come out of his friend’s mouth. “He’s a dweeb just like you,” Howard finished.

“So, you like him?” Raj checked.

“Yeah. I like him,” Howard admitted. Probably more than anyone else Raj had dated.

[aangislove]

Aang is an amazing character

I should preface this by saying I was 7 going on 8 when the show first aired and I watched from the beginning. Also, Aang was my first TV crush at the time and that lasted pretty much the entire show. Now that I gave got that out of the way, I want to talk about why I feel Aang is an amazing character and why he is my favourite from the show.

I want to start this off by talking about how refreshing Aang as a character was to me when I was an 8 year old watching the show for the first time. Here was a male protagonist who was a pacifist, who was silly and goofy and had a big heart. He was flawed but never malicious or intentionally mean. I feel like that was something different for the time and even still today, those are not the characteristics we see every day in male characters on TV. Especially boys. I was used to seeing boys more like Zuko and Sokka, and while Zuko and Sokka are amazing characters in their own right, they are also very different from Aang. As a now 23 year old I appreciate Aang for his nature even more. His more gentle, loving nature is something I think shows that it’s okay if boys aren’t as rough and are more in touch with their feelings. I feel like it shows that being pacifist isn’t a sign of weakness, but can be a sign of strength in it’s own way.

Which brings me to how much Aang grew over time and the flaws he showed in the show. I know Aang gets a lot of hate from people for being weak, for not showing any character growth, for holding onto his love for Katara, for refusing to kill Ozai and many other things.To say Aang doesn’t grow feels wrong to me (it may not to you and that’s fine) but when I think of the little boy we first met in The Boy in the Iceberg, I think of a little boy who didn’t want to be the Avatar, who ran away from it because the people he knew and loved were treating him differently and all he wanted was to be a normal kid. I think of a boy who wanted to go penguin sledding and hid who he was. We see him go from that kid, to a kid who carried so much guilt around with him because he left. Almost everyone he knew was gone. And in his mind they were gone because he ran away, because he was a scared kid who didn’t want the responsibility of being the Avatar. Not only did he lose friends because of this, but he lost the only parental figure he ever had, Gyatso, and when he found his body in the temple, he got lost in his grief. We saw a different boy then. He wasn’t the goofy, silly, happy kid he was in the first two episodes. We saw him react to the realisation that his people were gone and that fact finally sunk in when he saw Gyatso’s body with all the grief and anger any normal person, but especially a kid of that age, would react with. We saw him come down from that a bit, but the grief and guilt never left.

We saw more of his grief and the guilt he felt in the storm, where he shares his reasons for leaving with Katara. We see some flashbacks of him as a child growing up in the Air Temple. We find out he had mastered airbending by the age of 12. We saw him show off and start to teach the other kids some of the tricks he knew (airscooter). And when those same kids rejected him, he wasn’t mad, he didn’t fight them, he walked away feeling sad and left out, and wishing he could be normal like them. He never showed any anger towards them for saying he couldn’t play anymore. What he did show was he saw being Avatar as the reason he couldn’t be normal and that was why he didn’t want to be. We learned he only ran away when he thought even Gyatso wouldn’t be able to keep him there.

Which leads me to point out that Aang was 12 when he learned he was The Avatar. 12. From watching the show we are led to believe Avatar’s aren’t told about their status until they’re 16. So at the time Aang was the youngest known Avatar. He was the youngest who was going to be sent to start his training. And he did what I think a lot of kids would do if their whole worlds were turned upside down overnight. He ran away from it.

Despite everything he had been through, his childish nature didn’t leave him. He was still playful. He still made mistakes. Like hiding the whereabouts of Katara and Sokka’s father from them and when the truth came out and they were angry and left him behind (understandable), he didn’t run away and hide out of shame. He went back to protect them. He faced up to what he had done. And when he got so excitable and eager to learn firebending, and hurt Katara in the process, he was ashamed of what he had done, he was remorseful and he swore off firebending for life. This is almost exactly what a kid would say if they had the power. It’s what he said. But later down the road he realised he needed to learn and he learned from his mistake. He learned to be more patient.

When it comes to Katara, yes, Aang was wrong to kiss her without consent. Yes, I do wish the show had gone into that more. I wish he had apologised for that and they had been able to discuss it. But Aang didn’t do it again and he felt bad afterwards. I think in general this whole thing should have been handled better by the show and could have lead to a good dialogue on consent and learning how to deal with these feelings but that’s getting off the topic.

Through the course of the show we have seen Aang become angry a few times. The most memorable time, for me, is when Appa is stolen and they confront the sandbenders. Aang showed real rage with them because they had stolen the character who had been with Aang from his time with the airbenders to now. They stole one of the last pieces of his past he still had. They stole his buddy who had been with him through everything. Aang could have lashed out worse than he did but he was pulled back, he was calmed down. The anger doesn’t go away after that episode and we see him lash out a few more times, mostly when it comes to him feeling like the others don’t care as much about finding Appa.

But we also see it near the end of the show. When everyone is telling him he needs to kill Ozai. Aang gets angry because he feels pressured to do something against his very nature and when they claim they are trying to help, he doesn’t feel like they are, because he fundamentally doesn’t feel heard or understood. His anger doesn’t last very long but it leads into another aspect of his character that is often overlooked. And that is how his customs and way are life are not understood by those around him.

As an Air Nomad he was taught that all life is sacred, he was brought up to believe every life is worth something, he was taught an openness that other natures do not understand (embracing and normalising same sex attraction, etc). It may not be a huge deal to everyone, but for him it is. Often he tries to keep his customs alive, keep the culture alive, and he’s told he can’t, because he’s the Avatar, because that’s not how the world works. But it’s how his world work. It’s how he works. Fundamentally, these are the values he holds. That doesn’t mean he is judgmental. I mean, he never judges anyone for eating meat though he’s a vegetarian. All he does is point it out so he can get food that works for him, or so he doesn’t offend when he doesn’t eat everything. He never tries to shove it down their throats. When Katara and Zuko wanted to get revenge for Katara’s moms murder, Aang did confront them for trying to take Appa, yes he tried to talk her out of it, but he didn’t berate her or say anything malicious or manipulative. He was trying to look out for his friend. He was trying to stop her from going down the dark path. People might say he wouldn’t understand. But remember, Aang suffered horrific losses too. He suffered so much loss that a lot of people would not be able to recover from. Their losses may not be the same, but it doesn’t make his less than hers or any other characters.

Through all this we can see that he is a good person, a kind, loving person. He is very real with his flaws. He’s real in terms of his struggles. Sure, he can get over some of them easily, but I think with some time at the core he is adaptable.

And when it comes to the final battle with Ozai and being faced with the decision of what to do, he found a way that worked for him. He found a way that allowed him to do his job as Avatar while also keeping true to his nature and way of life from before. It meant he could keep it alive for the future generations. It fitted his character so perfectly. Did energy bending come out of nowhere? Sure, I won’t say it didn’t. Personally, it doesn’t bug me, but i can see it does others. But if you can look past that, it was a perfect way to end the show. Not because it looked cool or added a new element to the show.

It’s because it drove home the message that violence doesn’t always have to be met with more violence and that being pacifist doesn’t always equal being weak. It also stayed true to the character of Aang. It showed his growth. Because Aang stood by his wife of life and showed that growth doesn’t always have to mean change. It can mean becoming more adaptable, learning more about the world, becoming more sure of yourself as a person and finding a balance to the two roles/jobs/aspects of yourself. He found balance between being Aang the Airbender and Aang the Avatar. He found a way for them to work together. He did something no other Avatar had done before. He paved the way for the future of a more pacifistic way of handling conflict and war.

And he did so without every truly losing himself. He did so with a heart that was loving and a kind personality. He did so as a 12 year old who had to grow and mature in order to survive and thrive.

This is why I believe Aang is an amazing character who deserves love and understanding.

[one-piece-dumpster-fire]

BDGLU for luffy if you would write him?

I…I do write for Loof but doing sin for this little bean feels so weird…? So I’m sorry if this didn’t quite turn out how you had expected it Dx

Dirty Alphabet- Luffy

B= Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and alsotheir partner’s)

Doeshis Strawhat count? I mean he’s wearing it all the time sotechnically it could be considered part of his body, right? No?Okay, then his fists. They’re made for punching bad guys after all!

Onyou—— uhm. You got… a nice pair of… ears? No, wait, legs, hewas gonna say legs god dammit! You have nice legs. Luffy likeswrapping his stretchy arms around them and pulling you towards himlike that. Yes, it may cause you to fall onto the ground and yes youhave permission to hit him for it.

D= Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret oftheirs)

ohmy god… Luffy and secrets… let alone dirty ones xD! Okay, well,here is something you could consider ‘dirty’- sometimes… when hedoesn’t know where to put it… he hides his dirty laundry in the basket of someone else’s, so they wash them for him lol. No itdoesn’t work most of the time, but Luffy refuses to give in and takecare of his dirty laundry by himself! But one time Usopp noticed that Luffyonce again added his own boxer shorts to his personal pile, yet before he could go look for the captain to throw his dirty underwearagainst his head, he noticed that there seemed to be… jizz… in that one. So Usopp decided to burn it instead.

G= Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are theyhumorous, etc)

okayI suppose I can not escape from the sexual themes any longer. Here wego.

Luffywill always be Luffy, and sex is no different. He will laugh, be hisinnocent little self and make jokes all while he innapropriatelytouches you lol. To him, sex isn’t really sex but some fun game whichhe can only play with you- it makes him feel oddly loved and mushy,so even though he’ll stay true to his humorous self there’s stillthis passionate side which comes out during sexy times with you.

L= Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Well,his bedroom, of course…? I mean where else could he play with you without being noticed? Or… do you want to get noticed…?Well well if that is the case then Luffy won’t shy away from playingaround with you and having you do those sweet sounds in public restrooms andbath houses as well.

U= Unfair (how much they like to tease)

hedoes tease, but in the beginning it’s all unintentionally. He has no idea at first that rubbingthat certain spot or slapping your butt turns you on- then again,Luffy isn’t scared to experiment either. And sometimes he doesintentionally tease you with his discoveries- like that one time hestretched his tongue to eat you out (secretly he just wanted to checkhow far he can go lol) and upon noticing how much that made yousquirm he pulled back and repeated the same action over and overagain, until you couldn’t keep it in anymore. And that caused him to immediately grin proudly.

[nickrbockr]

Simon Vs Fan Fic: Chapter 6 - One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish

Ao3

Leah came with me to Walgreens to get items to put into Bram’s care package. Abby and Nick were still asleep and Ian decided to go on home and sober up for tonight’s partying. She went into the store to start on my list because I called Bram to apologize.

“Hi handsome,” Bram’s voice comes with a layer heart and warmth that drips into my ear.

“I don’t deserve that today,” I start as I shuffle in the passenger seat.

“Stop, Si.”

“If I made you feel bad in anyway, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, honest. What can I do to make you feel better?”

I scoff in guilt. “Here I am trying to apologize to you and you’re the one asking what you can do for me.”

“Simon,” Bram begins. “I know how hard this is, believe me. You have no idea how much Baltimore Nick has to listen to me talk things out. But what is important is how we communicate like we are now. When either of us is feeling something, we just need to let the other know. If I could hold you right now, I would tuck myself so close to your chest so I could hear my heart beat in your chest.”

“I miss you so much. I thought it would be easier, but I was wrong, it’s so much harder.”

“I made the same assumption too and it looks like I’ve been listening to Elliot Smith more and more. Which is counter-productive because the lyrics really are depressing. Remember this, Simon: you’re no longer alone in this, we’re in this together.”

“I’m glad you’re with my goofy butt, Bram. In spite of all my craziness.”

Bram exhaled and I swore I could feel his soft breath on my ear. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you Simon. I see a man with perpetual sexy bedhead. I see your moon-grey eyes explore my face with beautiful awe. I see a man willing to do anything and everything for the sake of others at the expense of himself because that’s how much other people mean to him. I see a boy who I had eyes for since freshman year of high school. Look in the mirror, Si, through my eyes and you’ll understand.”

“I’ll work on that, B, I promise.”

“Simon Jacob Spier.”

“Abraham Louis Greenfeld.”

“I will see you soon.” He could feel Bram’s smile stretch across his phone as well as pang in his voice that was hungry for my flesh.

The ‘I love you’ chorus sang between us and I hung up. My screensaver of Bram popped up, a picture I screenshot from his Instagram. I barely kept any apps on my home screen so I could always stare at him when I needed him most. It’s such a strange gift, being able to affect another person’s mood only with the power of existing.

I left Leah’s car and walked into the Walgreens to find her reading a magazine on the floor.

“How’d it go?” Leah asked, not looking up from her issue of National Geographic.

“Exactly how you said.” I admitted, hand on the back of my neck.

“I swear to god it almost feels like I’m dating you guys too.” She replied, placing the magazine back on the shelf.

“How have you done it?” I ask her, looking for an honest answer.

“I don’t know, I’m not getting any out of it either,” she responds jokingly, standing up with my help.

“I’m serious. Leah.”

Leah rolls her eyes, “Do we have to do this in a Walgreens?” She starts to walk towards the food aisle, knowing the first item that will go into Bram’s care package. I catch her by her arm and stop her.

“We do…I just feel…ever since I knew I am going to propose, I’ve regressed into my high school self where I’m…an idiot and stumble over even small and easy things with you guys and Bram. You’re keeping me balanced, Leah, and I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Leah hugs me in the middle of the aisle as an older lady is looking at the greeting cards. She notices us and crosses her hands on her chest.

“You’re right, Simon,” Leah says, “you have regressed a little because you’re making me being a friend a big deal! Spier, are you going to regress to the point where you’re back in the closet?”

We laugh and walk towards the Oreos. Walgreens is a different store right when it opens. The employees still look like there is a sparkle of hope in their eyes. Leah and I discuss the pros and cons of double stuff verses regular Oreos when I finally tell her what I’ve been thinking since I knew I wanted to propose to Bram.

“Leah, you’re going to have to be my Best Person, you know that right?”

She shot me a confused look and smiled. “That’s how you’re asking me to be your Best Person? As a joking demand?”

“It actually seemed the most fitting way to do it to be honest,” I defend.

A large smile grew across her face. “You’re actually right for once in your life, Si.”

We checked out and I added the Double Stuff Oreos (I won that argument) to my care package that also had additional snacks, stereotypical college food, new CDs for him to listen to (yes we both still buy and own CDs), a pack of legal writing pads that he loves to use in his journalism classes, pencils and pens with his name embroidered on them, a framed picture of us from this summer, and a bottle of vodka, the only liquor that doesn’t make Bram too nauseated. We dropped it off at the post office and the worker seemed shocked to see two college-age kids in there at nine A.M.

“Sorry about last night.” I said on our way back to the apartment.

“You don’t really have anything to apologize for, you just got drunk and…Simony.”

“I know, but…I felt like we didn’t talk about how Abby and Nick felt really. Like I stole focus.”

“Well, you did,” Leah replied laughing, “but I think it was wanted. It didn’t seem like they wanted to discuss it.”

“I’ll make it up to them. I’ll cook breakfast.”

“I know none of us will say no to that.”

Once we’re home, Nick and Abby are awake and lounging in the living room. We all catch up while I’m cooking breakfast and they’re cleaning up remnants of the party from last night.

“So other than those major projects for school, I also have been commissioned to do a piece for another Off-Broadway show.” Abby finishes.

“Sounds like a good problem to have,” Leah says, throwing the solo cups into our recycling bin.

“Truer words have never been spoken.” Abby replies, sipping on water.

“So guys, breakfast is ready.” I turn around and have two plates ready to go for Nick and Abby and we sit at the former pong table. “View this as an official apology for last night.”

Both Abby and Nick tilt their heads in mild annoyance.

“Like we told you last night, nothing to apologize for. BUT!” Abby shouted, “We did gloss over the fact that you are marrying Bram!”

“Proposing to, yes, I am!” I shout back as I bring Leah and my plates. “Right now the plan is propose in Shady C over our break on our anniversary with rings provided by my Dad.”

“Ahhh! So we’ll all still be in the city!”

“I hope so, it’s at the end of January right before classes start, will that work for you guys?”

“For you and Bram? We’ll make it work,” Nick replies, stuffing egg and sausage into him mouth.”

“I also got his mom’s blessing when she visited last month and I’m still waiting to speak to his Dad but he is a hard man to talk to now that Ruth is in kindergarten.”

Abby stared at me with a dropped jaw as Nick reminded steadfast at eating.

“You’re asking his parents?! That is so cute!”

“I’m hoping to convince his Dad to come fishing to at least lure him up here.”

“Was that a pun?” Nick said, laughing.

“Not intentionally,” I reply.

The rest of our Saturday was stereotypical college student life: movies, booze, GrubHub order, some light marijuana use, more booze and then the bars that night. New Haven is a great New England town in the fall and the leaves crunched beneath our shoes as we walked to the second bar of the night.

“So I want to say this only once more and then I’ll leave it alone. You guys doing okay since the break up?”

Nick and Abby stared at each other.

“We really are,” Nick answered. “Bram was a huge help too, not to say that to make you upset, but-”

“No, no, I’m sorry guys,” I respond. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that and I have no right to. Bram is his own person and I shouldn’t be so…territorial.”

“You’re not territorial, Si,” Leah said between handing us our drinks.

“Yeah, I am. Or was. I don’t know. Last night took me back to the insecure Simon and I didn’t like that. I’m so, so happy Bram was able to help you guys, and I need to work on trust.”

“Si, we can’t really pretend to understand how it was like to be outed or come out in general,” Nick said with a sympathetic smile. “But if you actually have trust issues, they’re valid. It’s okay to feel feelings.” He finished, laughing. “That’s a weird sentence, but don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“I guess…I just…I think it all stems back from me thinking that…”

I haven’t ever really told anyone this ever, not Leah, not Bram, not Ian. I was weighing actually being honest as my friend’s concerned eyes stared at me as we walked to a table.

“I guess I have never felt like I’m good enough for Bram, like he will wake up one morning and realize he’s only been with some weird kid from his high school and discover that I’m not enough for him.”

There. It was out there. I finally said it. There was some relief in being honest about my feelings, especially something I’ve felt since Bram and I started dating. Bram has never made me feel this way, let me put that out there. It’s all my brain, all of my psychosis.

“Simon…” Abby pulled my hand to her, Leah placed hers on top, and even Nick put his hand on the pile.

It was already helpful to be able to say those things out loud and I think they understood that I need to get through those feelings myself, but their hands on my hand made me realize that I’m not alone, ever, no matter what. I know it’s cheesy but sometimes you need to hear the cheesy Hallmark card sentences.

“How could you think you’re not good enough?” Nick asked.

“You may be a weird kid from high school, but that doesn’t mean it makes Bram love you less.” Leah added.

“In fact, it probably helped you,” Abby finished as she flashed her Abby smile. “Simon, I know there’s nothing we can really say otherwise until you believe it yourself, but you’re a catch, Bram is lucky to have you just as much as you are lucky to have him.”

“Yeah, you need some self-esteem.” Nick said blatantly. After some stares from Abby and Leah, he continued. “I mean, you…naw, you need to work on your self-esteem. Cause if you don’t, the constant doubt and questioning will end up hurting you the most. And Bram may not want to stay around to watch you do that to yourself.”

“Easier said that done.” Leah said. “But he’s right, Si. As soon as you look at your relationship as a partnership instead of…however you look at it now, all of this doubt will go away.”

I know it wasn’t any business of mine, but I couldn’t help myself and asked.

“Was that why you two split up?” They looked at one another and now I felt like a dick. “Sorry, I’m just the worst person this weekend.”

“No, no it’s fine,” Abby said, sipping her beer. “We both had kinda the opposite problem. Too much pride.”

“Relationships are about give and take and I don’t think we ever found that rhythm. Both can’t give and not take.”

“It’s like if two tops tried to date.” I say, letting it slip out before stopping myself. Nick’s eyes bugged out as Abby started laughing until all of us were laughing at my dumb joke.

After that, the rest of the night was spent like we never left Shady Creek. Memories were talked about and conversation moved quickly and anytime a song came on that Abby liked we danced in the booth. Once the bar closed we swung by the late night pizza place and got some food while discussing the merits of Katy Perry’s latest album (I gave her an A for effort and Nick defended the album with the old ‘she’s hot’ argument).

The next day, I woke up to a text from Bram.

I was told today I can have that weekend off! I can’t wait to see you. :)

There’s no better way to start your day than having your boyfriend confirm a weekend together. Bram works part time at WBAL as their social media intern who they also make work most weekends. He gets to write the summary sentences of articles or links to the news stories on their website as well as respond to comments on their Facebook page postings. It wasn’t the most glamorous job, but it gave him experience and he liked that part.

I woke up Leah to sweet talk her into letting me borrow her car to drive to Baltimore and she said yes, but there was a price. I had to wake up to cook breakfast every morning until the weekend I needed it and I felt that was a fair trade off.

This morning, however, I didn’t cook breakfast and we all went to grab food together before Nick and Abby drove back to New York. When they visit, it never feels like we had enough time together.

“I wish we could stay longer,” Abby cutely pouted.

“I know I can’t convince you guys to stay in New Haven over New York, but I’ll never stop trying.” Leah responded as they hugged.

“So I’m assuming we’ll all see each other next during Thanksgiving?” I say.

“You know it.” Nick says as we hug too. “I love New York, but it’s nice to get out every once in a while, remember that there are smells other than garbage and smog.”

We laugh as I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. It’s Bram’s Dad. I excused myself from the group.

“Simon, how are you?”

“Great,” I answer, a bit shocked. “How about you?”

“I’m also doing fine. So listen, I know you’ve been trying to get a hold of me and I thought I’d let you know that we’ll be in Boston visiting the wife’s family this coming weekend. If you were interested, we could try meet. I know you’ve been wanting to talk to me in person per your messages.”

I could hear a hint of annoyance in his voice, but as long as I annoyed him into at least seeing me, I can ask him. I didn’t want to ask either of Bram’s parents over the phone unless I absolutely had to, so I’m glad Bram’s step mom’s family lives in Boston.

“Yes, yes that sounds great! I was thinking, if you’re up for it, that we could meet in Provincetown and do some fishing?”

Did I sound as weird as I felt saying that sentence? I must have because all of my friend stopped talking and stared at me.

“I didn’t think you still had fishing in you, Simon. That sounds great, I will be sure to pack my poles.”

His tone was more relaxed after I mentioned fishing. Thank you Tracy Greenfeld.

“Super!” I jump and pump my arm at the audience of my friends. “Also, I know this will sound weird, but can you not tell Bram we’re doing this?”

There was a gut-wrenching pause on the line. I couldn’t say that sentence without sounding weird. Nick shook his head and smiled at me as I flipped him off.

“Okay,” he started. “Can I ask why?”

“Yes, but I won’t be able to tell you until we see each other.”

Another pause as I placed my free hand on the back of my neck. Abby had her fingers crossed and Leah leaned on the car waiting for the call to be over.

“Okay, I’m sure you have your reasons. I won’t tell him.”

Wonderful! I finally got him to spend some one on one time with me. Before I hung up, I gave Bram’s dad the information on where we’d meet to fish. Since speaking to Tracy, I had tried to find the best place in the area to fish and you couldn’t go wrong with Cape Cod.

“Fishing? You?” Leah said.

“Gotta make sure Elijah is in a good mood when I ask for his blessing. He loves fishing and we’ll be out in the ocean, so good views too? That’s important when you fish, right?”

“So you’re going on boat, alone, into the ocean with the father of your boyfriend of whom you’re going to tell him you’re planning on marrying his son?” Nick teased.

“Yeah.”

“If you disappear, I think we’ll start with Elijah.”

“Shut up and get back to New York.”

It was always hard to see my friends leave after they visited. Abby waved goodbye until they turned the corner to head back to New York.

"Can I borrow the car this weekend?" I ask hands folded in a begging manner?

"Duh," Leah said, rolling her eyes and following me back inside.

I couldn’t really concentrate the entire week, trying to figure out the best way to ask Bram’s father.

“Dude, just ask it,” Ian said to me. We were in our final acting class and in between scene studies of our classmates.

“I don’t think I can with Elijah.” I answer. “He’s…not scary, but he’s hard to read and that makes me nervous.”

“If he said no, would that prevent you from still proposing?”

I’ve been so focused on preparing what I’m going to do when I propose that I didn’t think of that part. Which is bad because I still don’t know where in Shady Creek I would take him or what I’d do. I need to figure that out soon, but first I need to get past this weekend.

“The thought of not marrying Bram is worse than Elijah saying no.” I answer. “I’d…probably still do it even if he didn’t say yes.”

Ian laughed, “Then why even ask him? Isn’t asking permission a dated step in marrying someone these days?”

“Yeah, but it seems right to do ask. When it comes to Bram, I want to make sure to do everything right so that the proposal is perfect and then we can plan the wedding together because as you’ve probably noticed, I’m not the best planner.”

“Dude, I think you’re doing well for winging it.” Ian said drinking some water. “Brammy is going to love whatever you do. Do you know how you’re going to ask yet?”

“Ugh…no.”

“He likes soccer, would you want to do it on a soccer field? Oh my god, you should! Then you can have Bram’s family and friends on Bram’s side of the field and your family on your side and you can have them stand as Forwards, Midfielders, and Defenders and oh! You and Brammy and both of your parents can be the Forwards!”

I stared at Ian with bugged eyes. He noticed and laughed.

“You’ve thought a lot about this huh, Ian. You sure you don’t want to marry Bram?”

“Don’t tempt me with a good time,” Ian joked back. “But Bram is missing something that I would never be ale to get past.”

“Boobs?”

Ian put his hand on my shoulder, “Boobs.”

Ian did me thinking the rest of the week. I really wish not everyone hated my high school idea because all of the significant places we were, we spent the most time in that damn high school. I can’t really propose in our either of our bedrooms because one there is not enough space if I invite people and two I’d probably get distracted and we’d just end up having sex and I’d forget to propose.

Would it be cheesy to do it in the parking lot when we had out first lunch and kiss as a couple?"

The more I thought about it, the more and more it did make sense. Bram still has his old car and maybe I could convince the manager to let us go into the store after hours.

“Hmmm…” Leah thought after I told her the idea. It was Thursday night and I we were waiting for our lasagna to finish cooking.

“You hate it.” I ask leaning back I my chair and headed back to square one.

“I don’t…hate it….but it also just doesn’t seem like the most romantic place to propose.”

You weren’t in the car with us when we ate Oreos and kissed while it rained.

“We really didn’t have a place outside of school. Our places ended up being in the lunch room or the fair or…”

That’s it. It was the place we built the foundation of our relationship. All of those moments happened at high school. And as weird or tacky others may feel it is, they didn’t have the relationship Bram and I had. They didn’t have the emails that both Bram and I pined over when we didn’t know who the other was. I have to ask him at Creekwood. It’s where Bram and I discovered each other.

“What is it, Si?” Leah asks as I have been staring into space.

“When I propose, it’s happening at Creekwood.”

“Si, I thought-”

“I know, everyone else thought it was a bad idea, but you told me to trust my gut about this proposal and my gut is screaming Creekwood. It’s the best place, it has our history. We were in the parking lot on a ferris wheel when he kissed me. How could it be anywhere else?”

Leah looked at me with loving eyes and let a smile grow on her face, very un-Leah like.

“What,” I started. “You’re scaring me.”

“I think you should do it.”

“Yeah?!”

“Yeah. You’re right, it all happened there and I know Bram would love it too.”

My stomach warmed and twilled and back flipped out of excitement. Finally got someone on my side with Creekwood and now I can even tell Bram’s Dad where I’m going to do it if he asks!

“Ah! I means a lot you are on board with this.”

Leah was quiet again and I even swear she was tearing up.

“Leah? You okay? Now you’re really scaring me.” I joke.

“I’m just so happy for you and Bram…Can you propose as soon as possible so we can all be happy together?!”

“I’m trying to make January come as fast as I can.”

I could hear both my Dad and Ian say ‘that’s what she said’ in my head.

Leah hugged me and made us watch a horror movie so she could, in her words, get out of this lovey-dovey mood.

I woke up on Friday and the feeling of happiness was soon overshadowed by my nerves of Bram’s dad. Luckily I woke up to a text from Bram.

I received your care package my amazing boyfriend. Thank you so much, I love it all <<33

                                                                            Hey cutie :)

. .. … Hey handsome :) How’s your Friday?

                                                                           Good. Kinda nervous

. .. … Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Do you have an audition coming up?

Ironically, he wasn’t entirely wrong, so I won’t be entirely lying.

                                Yeah, it’s a really good role and I want it so bad

. .. … Then you’ll get the part! Once you set your mind to something, you get it! It’s how you got me. <3

                                            You’re just saying that cause you love me.

. .. … True, but you’re also super talented. And super cute. You have me talking in fragments when I think about you too much

I’m always talking in fragments, you’ve been tripping me up since you were Blue. You’re already making me feel good about the audition.

. .. … Glad I can help. I love you, break a leg!

                                                                              <3 <3 <3

It helped me get through the rest of the day, but I was super distracted in my acting my theatre history class and couldn’t focus. I fantasized about proposing to Bram alone. Just him and me and the ring. Then I pictured kissing him and running my hands down his back onto the curve of his butt. Bram would pull me close to him and smile between a kiss, loving when my hands found their way back there. It was good I was sitting as it would be embarrassing to walk in my basketball shorts.

I calm myself down and run home to beat Leah so that I could…uh…take care of myself after class. It had been the longest two months away from Bram and his good heart and beautiful body wasn’t making it easier. Once I threw away the tissue, I began packing my suitcase. Bram would have already packed last week for this trip had he been going. I smile and pack the Elliot Smith shirt he got me. I’ll need him there in spirit more than ever.

Leah and Ian came home together as to follow the same path as last weekend. I turn down drinking because I have to be up early to get to Provincetown.

“Know what you’re going to say yet?” Ian asks, chugging a beer.

“No, I think I’ll try to bring it up casually in conversation. When we talk, it usually finds its way to Bram. It’s really the only thing we have in common.” I say laughing.

“Trust that gut, Si, you got this.” Ian answered, crushing the can and letting out a loud burp. I looked to Leah to catch her legendary eye roll. But she didn’t roll her eyes. She was laughing. Strange, but I suppose people evolve. But does Leah evolve like that? Last year she would have scoffed and left the room.

“You’ll be fine, Si. Go into it like you did with Tracy and you’ll be alright.”

With that, they left to meet some theatre kids at a bar so I could sleep.

I dreamt about Bram. I dreamt we were back on the ferris wheel and that we couldn’t stop kissing. It was a great gift from the universe to give me that subconscious boost of confidence. It was interrupted, however, by my alarm. I got up and grabbed the keys to Leah’s car. She left them on the kitchen counter next to luke warm waffles and a note.

‘Use the Belgian waffles as fuel to get your man! – Ian’ ‘Si, the waffles were from me, but Ian helped stir the batter. There’s an ice coffee in the fridge for you. - <3 Leah’

I opened the fridge to a large cup and grabbed it with a smile. The four hour drive went a lot faster than I expected. Bram recently got into making his own playlists for me of music he found himself listening too. I loved everything he sent me, but maybe it’s because I know he picked it and I love him.

The one thing he did pick up from me was listening more to older music than current pop or hip-hop. 90s R&B was his jam at the moment and he also mixed in 80’s stadium rock. It was quite the eclectic mix that helped keep me awake along with the ice coffee. Bram also snuck in some love songs and I swooned quietly on the road towards the Atlantic Ocean.

I arrived early enough to meet Elijah at a breakfast place. I walked in to ask for a table.

“Simon!”

Or so I thought. Bram’s father was in a booth and waving me over. I wave awkwardly because I can’t help myself and I go to the booth to sit.

“Coffee?” He asked.

“Yeah, love some.” That was a lie, I had to pee but I underestimated that Bram’s father would be so much like Bram. Elijah poured me a cup from the pot left on the table the singular cook who also was the waiter.

“So how is Ruth doing? I can’t believe she’s in kindergarten now.”

“You and me both, Simon. She’s good, though she doesn’t like to be called Ruth ever since she started. She wants to go by Ruby now.”

“Kids make fun of her already? She’s in kindergarten.”

Elijah picked up his cup and placed it too his lips while his eyebrows answered. “Yeah, I guess that’s the way the world is headed.” He licked the coffee droplets off his mustache with this tongue.

“So, I as able to rent a ship, just us two. Bluefish Tuna. He’ll be ready for us in about forty-five minutes.”

“Simon,” Elijah started. “You said you would tell me why I couldn’t tell my son you were meeting me. Are you ready to tell me?”

Is this how Dads treat all guys who try to date their children? Dad wasn’t like this to Bram, was he?

“Y-Yes,” I tripped over my words. “I wanted to talk to you while we were fishing, but I can talk now.”

The cook came back with a plate of eggs and with extremely buttery toast.

“Same thing for him,” Elijah ordered to and the cook complied, walking back to the grill. “If you want to wait, Simon, we can wait.”

Okay, am I looking into things or is this starting to feel like an interrogation? He starts digging in as I grasp my coffee mug and take a sip. It’s not that hot and it’s not that good, but it’s something to do while I’m pretending not worry about what he’s thinking.

“No, no I can tell you. I wanted let you know how happy your Bram has made me.”

“Abraham,” He said, a little defensive. “Call him Abraham.”

“Yes, of course, Abraham.”

“Well I’m glad to hear that. Is that it?” He said, staring at this plate and not into my eyes.

“No,” I say as my stomach is falling into a pit. “If that was it, I could have told you that on the phone.”

It was a risk to speak like that to him, but perhaps it will garner his respect. His eyes showed that it did as he looked at me up and down and shook his head. “I suppose you’re right.” He pushes the plate away and crosses his hands on the table. “So what is it that needed to be said to me in person?”

I touch the Elliot Smith shirt and I think of the way Bram gets lost in my eyes and then coyly smiles as he looks away. It’s weird that I can also see the parts of Bram in his father. I swallow as the cook bangs on the grill top.

“I love your son, very much. So much, in fact, that I’m going to ask him to marry me, and I know it would mean a lot to Bram if I was able to tell him I got your blessing to do so.”

Elijah’s face froze as soon as I said marry and didn’t move. It felt like time stood still and though it was only a few seconds, I was over analyzing every single micro expression on his face. I didn’t break eye contact with me and he didn’t break eye contact with me. The cook slid the plate in front of me, but we never took our eyes off each other.

Suddenly, Elijah’s face exploded into a big, Bram-like smile and he slammed the table with his palm. A boisterous laughter followed as confusion poured over my face, which actually caused him to laugh even more.

“I’m sor – I’m sorry, Simon. Oh my god!” He continued to laugh in the empty diner until he picked up his napkin and dabbed his eyes. I still sat in confusion as he calmed down. “I couldn’t resist. You believed it so much, did you really think I was that kind of father?” More laughs poured out of him as he pulled his plate back to him to continue eating.

“Simon, I apologize, but Tracy can’t help herself and she spilled the beans. So I knew about your intentions, and all I can say is that of course you have my blessing to marry my son.”

The biggest sigh of relief washed over me as the tough-Dad act fell.

“Thank you, Elijah, that’s, thank you for that.”

“Hey, you will only be able to call me Elijah for a little bit longer, soon you’ll get to call me Dad.”

The Bram-like smile returned to his face as he put eggs on his toast and took a bite.

“I will say though,” Elijah continued. “I was very happy with how you phrased the question.”

“Oh?” I say, now feeling comfortable to eat.

“You said ‘I’m going to ask’ instead of ‘I want to ask’ or ‘I intend to ask,’ implying the choice was made and that I could either like it or dislike it, but that you were going to do it. Since Bram came out, I had to re-structure what I wanted for him in his life. I had an idea when I thought he liked girls, but when he told me he liked men, I needed to go back to the drawing board. But it’s hard, thinking about the kind of man I wanted Bram to end up with and when he brought you to meet me the first time, I always liked you because I could always look over and see Bram confidently stand by your side. And his confidence was because of you. That is exactly the kind of man I want him to be with: confident.”

I fought the urge to let a tear come out of my eye. “To be honest with you, Elijah, it’s funny that you see confidence in me because it’s something I’ve been working on since high school.”

“You could have fooled me,” Elijah answered. “Simon, it takes a lot of courage to meet the father of your love because when you date someone’s child, you’re dating a part of the parent. You did it. You kept calling, you kept on it, and not in an annoying way, but in a responsible way. You made it happen because you have confidence. Simon, Bram has told me your fishing stories.” He said laughing. “You hate fishing. But you tried to meet me on my level to ask me a hard question. Working on confidence? Simon, you have confidence.”

“Thank you, sir. That really means a lot coming from you.”

“I don’t say things I don’t mean, Simon. Regardless of the genders of people in love, what you can’t fake is the longing looks you two share. To be honest, this moment wasn’t as much of a surprise to me, it was more of when it would happen.”

And that quickly, I have two Moms and two Dads. Elijah gave me an opportunity to bow out of fishing, but I respectfully declined. I had to show him I meant business. I paid the check, again trying to show him what kin of man I am, but he already covered the breakfast before I walked in the door.

“You know, I can see where Bram gets his strategic planning from.”

“And that’s why he needs you, the impulsive confidence.”

We left the diner and the sun had just began to paint the sky a thin red and gold on the horizon. Elijah taught me a lot about what it was to deep-sea fish and I honestly had a genuinely great time.

Until I became sea sick.

Elijah laughed at me while I puked the eggs back up over the side of the ship.

“Not a sailor, huh Simon?”

I spit the lingering taste out of my mouth.

“Not yet, but I’ll get there.”

[ptersparkers]

Thank You

Summary: You and Steve both reflect on life in the forties and how to you met once again. 

A/N: Holy cow, this is over three thousand words long. I got a little lost in this and I feel great. The lovely @fairytales-everlasting requested a part two to ‘My Teammate’s a Vampire’ and suggested I write more about building off of the relationship between Steve and the reader. I thought it would be sweet to travel back in time to see when their story began. Happy reading! 

Add yourself to my taglist!

***

You settled underneath the comfort of your blanket and smiled to yourself as you gazed at the ceiling. The date with Steve went better than you had expected and you were so keen on seeing him in the morning. His quarters wasn’t very far from yours and nothing could’ve stopped you from slipping into Steve’s room other than your own conscience, telling you to leave the night as it was. You remembered the day you found Steve like it was yesterday. 

1941

“Morning, Howie,” you said at Stark, giving him a goofy grin.

“You know I hate that nickname, right?” he said, putting his hands on his hips.

“Of course I do! Why else would I call you ‘Howie’?” Howard chuckled and shook his head, trying to sort out the files on his desk. 

“Listen Y/N, today’s going to be a tough day and a long one. The selection for the serum project is a tough one and since you’re a good judge of character, I’m going to need you to help me.” Howard averted his gaze from the piles of folders to you. Howard knew you were a vampire. It didn’t take long for you to trust him - he was so kind and gentle with you, being the only woman in the laboratory, and you knew he’d never want to hurt anyone intentionally. The news hit him like a ton of bricks. You explained everything over and over again, but he didn’t believe you until you demonstrated your abilities to him. You made him promise never to experiment on you and he’s kept that promise for a year. 

“Okay, sounds like I’m in for a wild ride,” you joked, grabbing a wooden chair from the wall. 

“No, no,” Howard said. “Take my chair. It’s far more comfortable.” You grinned and sat in his place. 

Howard wasn’t known for being the kindest man in town. He was cold and calculated, often getting lost in his work and sitting in his laboratory or office for days. But upon meeting you, his life changed. He was open to new ideas and new ways of thinking as well as living. You thanked your many years of human interaction to get him to break out of his shell. Your encouragement is one of the reasons why Howard went through with the serum program. He had the calculations and everything, but lacked the encouragement. 

An hour went by and Howard looked at you. 

“Any luck finding a good candidate?” he asked. 

“A few,” you said. “Why don’t we do this. Sort through everything and we can put people who we think would be a good fit here,” you said, dropping the files beside the desk onto the floor, “and we can discard the rest. It’ll take longer, but we’ll be more thorough.” 

“You’re my right hand woman, Y/N,” he said. “I wish all women these days were as open-minded and a loud-mouth such as yourself.” You smiled and continued working on finding a candidate.

Many hours later, you and Howard were arguing over Steve Rogers. 

“No,” he said. “He’s too skinny and has too many medical conditions. I don’t want to risk it.” 

“Howard,” you said in a stern tone. “The candidate can’t be too strong before the serum otherwise he’ll be way too strong after the serum. Doctor Erskine said that the serum amplifies the intentions and emotions in our candidate. Rogers is determined and wants to help our people. Everybody else wants the reward and fame if the trial is a success,” you argued. 

“He’s so fragile,” said Howard. 

“We’re all fragile,” you began, “but there’s nothing more fragile than a man’s ego. Steve is pure-hearted. Give him a chance,” you said. 

“Interview him,” he said. “Bring him in tomorrow morning and we can interview him.” You grinned and nodded, making sure to give Howard the biggest hug you’ve ever given anyone. You walked to the rotary phone and looked at the paper before dialing Steve’s number. 

“Hello?” a voice answered. 

“Hi, is this Steve Rogers?” 

“Yes ma’am,” he replied. “How can I help you? Are you looking for Bucky because he -”

“No,” you said, cutting him off. “I’m looking for you. My name’s Y/N Y/L/N and I work alongside Howard Stark. I’m calling you because we’d like to interview you for the trial.” You could hear Steve breathing from the other side. 

“Nobody said anything about an interview,” he said, his voice shaking. 

“It’ll be alright, I promise,” you soothed. “Just wear that big smile of yours and bring your ambition.” 

“Alright, ma’am. Where should I meet you and when?” 

“At the main office at eight in the morning,” you said. 

“Great, see you then, Miss.” You smiled. 

“See you tomorrow, Steve.” 

By the time morning came, you were jittery. Doctor Erskine’s words about how the serum amplifies everything repeated in your head and you couldn’t think of a better person than Steve. 

Steve sat across from you and Howard. Howard was the first to speak after introductions. 

“Steve, why do you want to be in the war?” Steve didn’t have to think about his answer. 

“I want to help people. I want to be part of the group that gets to say he did something with his life. I don’t care about medals and treasures. I care about winning this war for our country. I care about protecting my home.” 

Howard pursed his lips and motioned for you to follow him outside the door. 

“So?” you asked, hopeful. Howard smiled. 

“It think we have ourselves a candidate.” You shouted and hugged Howard before telling Steve the good news. 

“Welcome to the team,” you said as you approached Steve.

“Really?” he asked in disbelief. “I’m in?” You nodded. 

“You’re in! I’m really excited for you,” you said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. Steve smiled at you. “It starts tomorrow. Mr. Livingston,” you pointed at the man beside the door, “will show you to your quarters and the canteen. Feel free to eat anything you’d like, but stay away from alcohol,” you instructed. Steve was already out the door, excited that he was chosen. 

The next morning came quicker than you thought. You were excited for Steve. You knew that he had been rejected on multiple occasions when he tried to join the army. You knew people laughed at him and bullied him whenever they got the chance, but you also knew Steve wasn’t one to give up a fight. His friend, Sergeant James Barnes, was your reference. All candidates needed a recommendation and you were glad that Steve chose James, who detailed every instance of Steve’s ambition and courage. 

Steve was sitting on the bench, waiting an order. He looked up when he saw you walk in. 

“I don’t know how you do it,” he said. “You’re the only woman in this facility. You’re pretty much calling the shots. You’re so confident in yourself,” he said. “And not that women can’t do what you can. It’s just that you’re not surrounded with other women,” Steve said quickly, hoping he didn’t offend you. You laughed and sat next to him. 

“I understand what you mean,” you replied.

“It’s just,” he said, but paused to collect his thoughts, “Bucky, my best friend, is a ladies man. The girls swoon over him. I offered a girl my popcorn and she rolled her eyes at me,” Steve said with a sigh. “I don’t feel good enough. I’m not good enough for the army, not good enough for those stupid bullies, and not good enough to find someone who will love me for me.” You frowned, upset that Steve felt that way. You put your hand on Steve’s shoulder. 

“Well, you know what? You’re here today. Howard and I chose you over hundreds of candidates. I believe in you, Steve,” you said with a firm voice. “And whether those girls in your past know it or not, you’re going to be someone who changes the face of America. You’re a hero, whether you realize it or not.” Steve smiled at the ground. He refused to meet your eyes until he was called by Howard. 

“It’s time,” he said to himself more than anyone else. He stood up and looked at you. “If I die in the next five minutes, I’m happy that a woman such as yourself bothered to give me any attention at all.” You laughed and guided him downstairs and strapped him in. 

“If it gets too much, let me know. We can stop,” you said. “You got this.” 

“I got this. Thank you, Y/N.” 

After he was situated, the panels closed and Howard started the trial. You could hear Steve screaming and your heart broke. You didn’t want him to be in pain and yelled at Howard to stop the treatment. 

“No! I can do this,” he said. You nodded at Howard and he continued. 

Steve’s screaming was the only thing you could hear you winced when his screams got louder and you wanted nothing more than to reassure him. After a while, the laboratory was silent. Howard motioned for you to come downstairs and help him open the panels. 

Once he did, Steve emerged, looking much like the opposite of his old self. He seemed to have grown, his entire body was muscular, and he didn’t seem to have anymore breathing problems. 

“How do you feel?” you asked. 

“Taller,” he breathed. You laughed and offered him a hand to help him down. 

“Shouldn’t this be the man’s duty?” he joked. You chuckled and helped him balance.

“Time’s change, Steve, and so did you.”

You didn’t see Steve after the next day. It hurt to leave, but you knew you couldn’t stay in New York for very long. You made a promise to yourself that once the trial was over, you’d leave. 

“Do you real have to go?” Howard asked as you stood by his door. “You can come live with me and we can work on projects together. We can be the ultimate team,” he coaxed. 

“You know I can’t,” you said. “It gets harder for me when I stay longer.” You had had this talk before and Howard sighed knowingly. He wrapped you in a tight embrace and kissed the crown of your head. 

“You are my best friend,” he said. “Please don’t forget me,” he pleaded, choking back a sob. “You helped me through so much.” You shook your head. 

“I could never forget someone as wild as you.” Howard laughed. “Besides, me being gone will give you time to relax. Maybe have a kid?” you hinted. Howard’s wife talked to you relentlessly about how much she wanted a child of her own. This was your way of thanking her for welcoming you into her home. 

“I plan on it,” Howard said. “Gotta leave my legacy in this word. Maybe not now, but some time.” You grinned. 

“Where’s Steve?” you asked. Howard looked down. 

“He left for a mission,” he said. 

“Already?” 

“Yes.” It was quiet and you sighed. 

“I better get going,” you said. The day’s only getting shorter.” 

“Let me walk you out.” You linked your arm through Howard’s and walked out the building, taking once last look before you walked away. 

Steve hadn’t thought about you for a week. He was on a high, feeling the adrenaline when it came to saving people and helping with the war effort. He hadn’t had a day to himself in a while and grinned when he was told he could rest for a few days. 

He walked into the man office and the women were blushing as he walked passed them. He smiled politely at each of them before knocking on Howard’s door. 

“Ah, Steve!” he said, standing up from his desk. “How’s the new body treating you?”

“I’m running a lot fast and I’m not sick anymore,” Steve said. 

“That’s really good to hear.”

“Where’s Y/N?” he asked, noticing he hadn’t seen her when he walked in. Howard avoided Steve’s gaze and slowly walked around his desk. 

“She left,” Howard said. Steve thought he hadn’t heard that right. 

“What?”

“Y/N left.”

“As in she’ll be back later?”

“As in she’s no longer in Brooklyn.” Steve paused for a moment. He felt the air thickening around him and found it hard to swallow. 

“Why did she leave?” 

“She’s a nomad,” he explained. “She likes to travel and explore the world because -,” Howard stopped himself before he said she was a vampire. “Because that’s the kind of girl she is. I took her in for a year, but she told me after this trial, she needed to leave.” Steve found and sat in the chair in front of Howard’s desk. 

“I never got to say thank you,” he said. 

“I know,” he said, resting himself on the edge of his desk. “I don’t like it either.”

“Did she leave a note? Did she tell you where she was going?” He shook his head. 

“No note. Y/N doesn’t work like that. But trust me, if she wants to find you, she will.”

“How?” Howard knew that you could sense anyone and track them down, but he kept that piece of information to himself. 

“She just will. Come, let’s go do something fun. You can invite that friend of yours, Sergeant Barnes, was it?”

2017

Steve always wondered where you went. He sat upright on his bed and looked at the blank monitor on his television screen and thought about you. Now that he remembered you were the one who helped him because the Super Soldier, he remembered old memories. 

He wondered where you were. He was distraught for a few weeks. Steve didn’t know why he felt such an attraction to you. Maybe it was because you were the first girl who didn’t roll your eyes when he tried to be nice, or maybe it was because you were the one who said you believed in him. Either way, he wanted to find you. 

But as time progressed and as he worried about saving America, as well as being frozen for a long period of time, he forgot about you. He forgot that you encouraged him when no one else did and he forgot what you looked like. Most importantly, he forgot the person who got him to the present. 

He didn’t mean to. Steve felt bad that he forgot about you. He laid in his bed and though about all the time he did remember you and savored those moments. Back in the forties, he liked to think you were doing great things with your life. He liked to think you travelled all over the world and learned all of the things he yearned to learn. But, again, as he was needed in the battlefield, his attention was focused on staying alive and keeping his people safe. 

Old feelings surfaced when he sat in front of you while you were on that date. He found himself being that same Steve Rogers who met you for the first time before the serum. He noted that you weren’t any different now than you were back then in terms of how you treated people. You treated Steve like he was human and that his feelings were valid. He enjoyed your company and contemplated on whether or not he should go to your room to continue the date by talking until the sun rose. 

“Screw it,” Steve said. He walked to your room and knocked softly, hoping you were awake. 

“Come in,” he heard you say. He opened the door and closed it gently behind him. “Steve? What are you doing here?” 

“I don’t really know. I thought we could just, talk?” You patted the empty space next to you and he sat down. “What’s up?” 

“Did you really mean what you said back then?” he asked, looking straight into your eyes. “You said you believed in me. You said that before I became this,” he said, gesturing at himself. 

“I meant every word. You’re special, Steve. You’re who you are today because you took a risk. I’m real proud of you.” Steve smiled. It was all he needed to hear. “And while we’re on the topic of uncertainty,” you began, jokingly. “Are you really okay with the fact that I’m a vampire?” Your voice took a more serious tone.

Steve didn’t hesitate to nod. “It doesn’t bother me. Really, it doesn’t. Maybe it’ll take some time getting used to while we train and fight, but it’s not something I’m scared of.”

“You’re not scared of me trying to bite you?” 

“No. You haven’t done that. You didn’t do that even when we didn’t know you were a vampire. Why should I believe you’re any different now?” 

“I don’t know. It’s just that every time I tell someone who I think I’m close to, it always backfires. Because of mainstream media, I’m seen as a villain and someone who only does things for her own benefit. I know I’m a strong woman, but it hurts sometimes. Howard was the only friend I had, really. He didn’t judge me. To think I even left him,” You looked at Steve. “It’s been so long since I was bitten and I’m still trying to figure out how to live.” 

Steve laughed and put his hand on top of yours. “We all are. You’re no different from us. I guarantee we appreciate you being around. As for Howard, he knew why you had to go and he understood. He would be so proud of you he could see you right now. We don’t think differently of you. I don’t think differently of you.” You sighed out of happiness and offered a lazy smile towards Steve. 

“Would you mind staying with me?” you asked, your voice timid and shy. Steve nodded and climbed underneath the covers. 

“I’m really happy that we found each other,” he said.

“Me too. I can’t believe I encouraged Howard to have a baby,” you said. You could feel Steve’s chest move and vibrate as he laughed. 

“Me either. It’s kind of funny, you working alongside Tony as you did with Howard. I’m sure Tony appreciates your stories about the old days.” 

“Not at first, actually.” Steve looked at you with a confused expression. “I mean, he’s happy that I share stories now, but when I first met him, he despised everything about his father. I know it wasn’t fair that Tony felt isolated, but I told him the truth. I told him that Howard wasn’t someone who opened up very much and that, although that’s not a valid excuse, he did love Tony very much in his own way. I guess Tony believes that now. It’s so nice to see his face light up whenever I tell him about you guys in the olden days.” 

“Are you calling me old?” Steve joked. 

“If you’re old, then I must be a grandma,” you joked back. The both of you burst out in laughed and you snuggled yourself close towards Steve’s chest. 

“Thank you,” he whispered. “For everything.” 

Steve smiled as he closed his eyes. He finally got to thank you.

Tag list: @wildefire. 

Permanent tagging is open! Just let me know via my ask box or messages. 

[b0blegum]

At the Same Level.

Author: b0blegum

Pairing: Choi Youngjae x Reader

Rating: PG (but who wants their parents to read this with them tho, just read at your own risk lmao)

Genre: Smutty-Fluff

Status: COMPLETED

Part: One-Shot

a/n okay, so this is actually requested by @fannyfransiscaaa. I don’t know if she’d like this as much as i do, but let’s just hope this is also her cup of tea x

Saturday, 9pm.

Nothing much different than any other weekends. The apartment is quiet. You, reading a book you haven't got the chance to finish it since last month and Youngjae, your flat-mate, busy clicking mouse and torturing the keypad with eyes locked on bright computer screen.

You and him are not fond of going out on weekends, because both of you share the same thought; why would one go out on weekend when they were out everyday on weekdays? Were those 5 days not enough?

"Youngjae!" You shouted from your room. You always let your door open. Except when you are showering or sleeping, of course.

"Hm?" He hummed, without taking his eyes off the screen.

"I am hungry." He kept quiet, waiting for your next chain of words. "Want to order some chicken?"

"No, shit!"

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, sorry. It was the game. What did you say?" He shouted. Fingers still busy on both keyboard and mouse.

"I want to order some chicken. Fancy that?" You walked out to his game room. The only room that doesn't have windows and clock, where Youngjae could spend the whole day there without realising the moon had replaced the sun

"Yeah, yeah." He stole a quick glance at you before locking his eyes back on screen and began saying words you don't even understand.

You rushed to his room, took his wallet that he put carelessly on the bed and took two bills from it, but something stopped your action. You saw a photo of you and him, in his wallet, between the bills he has.

"He keeps this photo?" You slid out the photo carefully. "Jeez, i looked ugly." You commented, before sliding it back in and threw his wallet back.

"I'm paying with your money." You said, intentionally saying it with low voice, so that he can't really hear it, but if he asked you where his money is, you could easily say 'I've told you earlier but you didn't respond so i took that as a yes.' An old trick you always pulled and he still fall for it every time.

After around thirty minutes of waiting, you smell something nice, followed by a ring on the front door.

That is definitely the chicken. You marched to pick it and brought it inside. Putting it on the small coffee table in the living room along with two cans of beer you took from the fridge.

"Youngjae-ah, my boyfriend is here. Come eat him up!" You showed up at the door of the gameroom. He didn't say anything until the result of the game came on screen. He took off his headset and joined you.

"That sounds so wrong. Eat him. I don't eat men, (y/n)." He hissed and opened his can.

"Why is everything has to be related to sexual activity to you?" You rolled your eyes.

When you first met him, was the day he moved in to your flat. He seemed innocent, reserved and all that treats that a nerd would have, but all of your first impressions of him were completely wrong. He is goofy, loud (especially when he laughs) and his mind were filled with either games of girls– and dogs, okay, he loves dogs.

"Don't blame me. You chose that word and i happened to know a lot of phrases, so..." He chewed his chicken.

"Whatever." He chuckled at your reaction. He loves to annoy you. He loves you being angry (but not really) at him. He just love your reactions and not only that, he loves teasing you. He loves giving you a sudden back hug when you were cooking. You were blushing when he did that for the first time, but not until he whispered 'The bathroom smelled so bad, you must've pooped a lot.' Since then, you always brushed his hands immediately, when he was about to give you a back hug.

"Hey, i'm turning on Serendipity, alright?" You searched for the remote, then clicking the buttons, switching to the movie mode to found your favourite movie.

"God, i am a man and i've watched that movie zillion times. I feel weird." He stripped his last portion of chicken before downing the beer.

"You don't have to join me if you don't want to. I'm cool." You leaned on the lower part of the couch and fixing your eyes on the TV as soon as the movie played.

"You believe in serendipity?" He asked when Jonathan made an appearance.

"Well, i believe in omnia causa fiunt, there's not much different with serendipity, right?" He nodded. His eyes involuntarily sticked to the TV, following the korean subtitle provided.

He let you watched the movie in peace, because he knows you'd be mad at him if he disturbs you when you are watching a movie.

He stood up, tidying the mess from the chicken you both just ate and after he was done throwing all of them to the bin, he came back with a blanket. His.

"Get on." He tapped the empty space beside him. You stood up, but instead of getting on the couch, you walked to turn off the lamp first, giving it a movie night kind of feel.

"Why did you turn it off?" He asked as you slipped inside the blanket you both share.

"Why? You don't like it this way?" You asked back as you curled yourself, taking more blanket than him. "Want me to turn it on?"

"No, no. It's fine."

Your eyes grew heavy as the movie went by, but you still managed to smile at the elevator scene. Same went to Youngjae. He already had his head tilted, supported by his hand that rested on the inside arm. His head fell a couple of times from his arm until he finally gave up and lulled his head back and somehow your head fell to his shoulder. He didn't realised it anymore because he already fell into a deep sleep and you, too. You adjusted your position to the one you thought the most comfortable for you.

The glimpse of sun rays insisted to touch your lids. You rubbed your eyes gently and put your hand to where it was before. It's firm, but... Soft. Your forehead curled, thinking about what is it under your hand. Your bed doesn't feel like this and so does your pillow. You moved your hand a couple of times as you gently pressed it.

"That... Is my chest." A raspy, just-woke up voice shocked you that made your eyes immediately wide open.

You looked up to found your flat-mate, none other than Youngjae, laying really closely to you.

"We fell asleep on the couch together on accident." He pulled his hand from strands of (your hair color).

"How did we end up in this position? Were you brushing my hair?" You asked, somehow felt annoyed.

"Were you breathing on my neck?" He asked you back as he felt a warm air touching his crooked of neck. "Oh, yes you are. You are breathing on my neck." He said softly, almost a whisper. "But... Don't you think it feels really comfortable?"

You blinked your eyes rapidly. Slowly you felt your stomach tingling, it felt funny inside.

It is, it is comfortable. You thought. But...

"Uh, Youngjae..." You called him. You could feel his jaw moved slightly, brushing your head. He found you trying to get off from your position.

"(Y/n)," he called you. "I know we're not on that level to do this, but..." You stopped wiggling trying to get off from his arm. "Can we just stay in this position for a while? It's... Comfortable and it's monday." He added.

He was right. You wanted to stay in this position, as well. His body is surprisingly perfect to be leaned on plus he smells so good.

"You're saying nothing, so i take that as a.. Yes?"

"It really is... Comfortable." You wiped his clothed chest gently and adjusting your head back the crook of his neck.

Both of you stayed in that very position for a really long time that even you almost fell back to sleep. Until his voice snapped you.

"Why are you keep refusing my back hug?" He asked as his finger took a few strands of your hair and played with it. You didn't protest and just let him.

You let out another warm breath onto his neck. "That poop thingy, you idiot."

"Poop?" He repeated.

"You said the bathroom smelled so bad that i must've pooped a lot." You rolled your eyes.

He chuckled, "I really said that?"

"Oh, please, Youngjae."

"I'm sorry about that, but if i promised i'd never say something like that ever again, will you accept my back hugs?"

"Why is it plural?"

"Becaus–"

"Hold on, i just remembered something. Why did you still have that photo of us?"

"A photo?"

"The one on your wallet. The one between the bills."

"Oh," he stopped playing with your hairs. "That is our first photo together– wait, you go through my wallet?"

"Chicken, Youngjae. I used your money."

"You little bastard." He rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Youngjae..." You called him. He only hummed and waited for your next sentence. "Why is it so comfortable." You repeated his words he said minutes ago.

You started to feel that tingling sensation again everytime your skin brushed against him and when he moved his head slightly, making a contact with your head or when his fingers playing with your hair. You felt like your breath was caught up in your throat and without you even realised, your legs moved by itself, intertwining with his. He didn't seem to refused, instead he adjusted to it and made it even more comfortable.

Knowing that you received positive feedback from him, you moved your hand slightly upward, closer to his neck, stopped right on his collarbone.

You could feel he looked down to you and moved his free hand slowly. The butterflies on your stomach began to made chaos. The funny feeling stroke back, waiting– no, expecting for his action.

He put his hand on your cheek and brushed it softly with the back of his hand.

"(Y/n)," he said. "We've been living under the same roof for... Ages, but were you always this beautiful?" His comment made you blush. You could feel your face getting warmer.

He slowly slides his hand to your jawline then to your chin. Lifting your head slowly, probably being cautious, in case you don't like what he does. But you did not refuse.

You were staring into each other with soft gaze, like you were both talking, only without a sound. He then brings his face closer to you and closed his eyes. You did the same. You closed your eyes and waiting for something you know he'd do in just another second.

And you were right.

In no time his lips touched yours and it stayed like that for a couple seconds before you gave more pressure against his lips, not that much but enough to tell him that you're up to whatever he is currently doing.

Knowing that you were up to it, he moved his hand to your cheek, cupping it as he adjusted both of your lips between each other's. Then he slid his hand gently to your neck, while your hand was still on his chest, slowly making its way up to his nape.

The kiss were slow but intense. He didn't force you to let him in nor you both were battling for dominance, no. It was sweet and gentle and it was the kiss that made you feel like time slows down, like it was controlled by the two of you.

Slowly, he shifted himself, supporting his weight with his arm that was pressed beneath your body. You were instinctively shifted yourself, laying underneath him, being pressed lightly by the figure.

His hand moved down, trailing the curve of your body and stopped when it reached your hip. He fixed his hand there as he deepened the kiss.

You played along with his game, you bite his lips couple of times that made him smirked and bite yours back, more softly.

"I don't know you'd like this idea," he whispered in your ears as he pecked your jawline.

You said nothing but moaned as he kissed you down the neck, biting the flesh and leaving marks.

You involuntarily spread your legs, giving him a way to put himself between you and once he's there, you locked him with your legs.

"I don't know what this is, but i'm loving our time now." You grabbed the back of his head and invited him for a more intense kiss.

“I think, we’re already in the level to do this kind of things.” He smiled in between kisses.

Check out my other works >> MASTERLIST <<

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

Alpaca accounts are underrated social media treasures

In the vast world of animals with social media accounts, common household pets like cats and dogs typically reign supreme. But if you’re not following your fair share of alpacas on the internet, you’re sorely missing out.

Though social media accounts dedicated to alpacas are rare, they're remarkable —  like delicious pieces of hay in the ridiculous needle stack that is the internet. You have to do a bit more searching than you would to find a cat or dog account, sure. But when you do happen upon a dedicated farm or fan posting camelid content, it doesn't disappoint.

Since following several alpaca accounts like Alpacas of Instagram, Barnacre Alpacas, and The Woolly Army, I've found the animals' presence in my daily digital life, though small, to be a real mood booster. After noticing that lighthearted alpaca content makes Twitter and Instagram significantly more bearable, I decided to reach out to some leaders of the alpaca social media movement to learn more about the underrated animals, and what it's like making a space for them online.

SEE ALSO: This cat named Michael Scott is the World's Best Cat

Alpacas are the ideal internet animal in my opinion. They're cute — but not too cute — and bursting with personality, which comes across perfectly in photographs and videos. They're experts at sporting goofy grins and shooting skeptical stares, and often give off major IDGAF vibes that speak to me on a deeply personal level after scrolling through pages and pages of monotonous selfies and brunch shots.

Some alpacas — like Chewy, a 4-year-old male camelid in Australia, and Cody, an especially small but resilient female alpaca in Colorado, who defied her odds of survival after being born prematurely — have thousands of followers on Instagram. But if you're craving a variety of diverse and delightful alpaca content, Alpacas of Instagram is the account for you.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Alpacas of Instagram (@alpacasofinstagram) on Jan 23, 2019 at 5:54am PST

The human behind the Alpacas of Instagram account, who asked not to be identified in this article, explained in an email that the account was born while she and a friend interned at an alpaca farm in high school. The farm had 15 alpacas, two crias, a St. Bernard, and a sheep named Gracie at the time. In between learning how to properly care for them and shear wool, the two pals would post photos of the animals to Instagram.

The social media platform was just starting to gain traction, the Alpacas of Instagram creator explained, so when she left for college she decided to keep up the account by reposting photographs from other people who used the hashtag #AlpacasofInstagram.

Using clever captions and quotes, the account tries to post at least one adorable alpaca photo or video a day. And Alpacas of Instagram also works to foster the online alpaca community by sharing content from smaller accounts to its nearly 180,000 followers followers.

"The engagement from followers has been amazing," the creator said, noting the hashtag currently has around 140,000 public posts. And while the attention and positive feedback is nice, she's ultimately just happy to help put the beloved animals in the spotlight.

Image: screengrab/alpacasofinstagram

"I am intentionally private about myself on the account," the account creator explained. "I started it because I wanted to share my love for these animals with the world, not so much myself ... I really enjoy giving a platform to these animals and their owners."

Alpacas' personalities, she explained, are what she loves most about the animals. "Yes they’re cute, and adorable, and fluffy, but they’re also really curious and sweet animals" that can be initially skeptical of people. "They can be really silly and awkward too, which is why I think they’re starting to have such a presence on social media ... They're these stupidly cute animals who do really awkward looking and hilarious things sometimes."

I first learned about the the Alpacas of Instagram account through alpaca lover Hilary Duff, whose boyfriend recently bought her an alpaca named Ivan for Valentine's Day. For now, though, Ivan has to live at the farm with his friends, since alpacas are happiest in herds and will quite literally die of loneliness without an alpaca friend nearby. Is that not the most precious thing you've ever heard?

View this post on Instagram

Omg my baby Ivan. Welcome to the family! Ivan will stay on the alpaca farm with his friends until we are ready to be farm people! We get to visit when ever we like! I’m the luckiest girl. Ok. @matthewkoma serious swoon ♥️

A post shared by Hilary Duff (@hilaryduff) on Feb 10, 2019 at 2:57pm PST

Alpacas take on the Twitter-verse

Though alpacas clearly have a growing presence on Instagram, accounts for farms like Barnacre Alpacas, and individual herds like The Wooly Army have been stealing hearts on Twitter, too.

Paul and Debbie Rippon, the husband and wife team who run Barnacre Alpacas at Turpin's Hill Farm in Northumberland, UK, said they've gained nearly 16,000 followers since they started tweeting in January 2011.

"It's as much part of our farming day as feeding the alpacas," Paul said when describing the farm's approach to social media. "We try to tweet every hour and include lots of pictures and videos."

Hello boys, you need a little haircut Pascal so you can see. pic.twitter.com/mYCEv7iOGw

— Barnacre Alpacas (@BarnacreAlpacas) February 11, 2019

Thanks to one of Michael Palin's travel programs, alpacas made their way onto Debbie's radar in the early 2000s. She and Paul then spent years researching the animals before buying their first three female alpacas in Feb. 2007. After more than a decade of learning, breeding, and expanding the family, they now have an impressive herd of 300 alpacas — one of the largest in the UK.

Barnacre Alpacas breed and sell alpacas, make their own knitwear, and host visits, events, and more. But the farm is also well known for providing a daily dose of hilarious and informative alpaca updates.  

I was just saying hello Grigio I don’t have anything. pic.twitter.com/fjv4bI5E5O

— Barnacre Alpacas (@BarnacreAlpacas) February 7, 2019

"They're such characters that it's very easy to invest a lot of time watching and learning all about them," Paul said. "We know all 300 of ours by name — and they know their names too."

The same goes for Alpacaly Ever After, a farm in the UK that offers unique first-hand experiences with the animals, such as private, guided walks around the stunning grounds of Lingholm Estate.

Emma Smalley and Terry Barlow, who run Alpacaly Ever After together, care for a herd of over eighty alpacas. They lovingly refer to the herd as "The Woolly Army," and created a Twitter account for the army back in 2015, which now has nearly 10,500 followers.

Checkout little Stevie :) this was the first time he met the herd! look how many kisses he's getting. . You can now take him for a walk :)https://t.co/HKJg2WSWSE .#alpaca pic.twitter.com/Twmiz3XxTU

— The Woolly Army (@TheWoollyArmy) March 25, 2018

"We call them the 'Goonies of the alpaca world,'" Smalley said of The Woolly Army. "It doesn’t matter to us what they look like or if they have award winning fleece... they will always find a welcome home in our gang."

Smalley and Barlow said their main goal with social media is to let people around the world know how fascinating alpacas are.

"They all have incredibly individual personalities that are fascinating puzzles to work out if you spend the time and effort," Smalley said of the animals. "It’s lovely to have people invested in what we do and to feel a part of something bigger."

Why alpacas are worth a follow

For those of you who have yet to be convinced that alpacas can change your Twitter and Instagram feeds, I asked about the benefits of looking at alpacas through the social media lens. 

"The obvious answer is that they are either stunningly gorgeous or spectacularly goofy, it really is hard to take a bad photo of an alpaca," Smalley of Alpacaly Ever After said. "But they are also an animal that is still mysterious and exotic to us."

Image: screengrab via alpacalyeverafter / instagram

Another main perk of following a professional alpaca account, is that you'll get to see a far more intimate side to the animals. The photos and videos of them are being captured by people they trust, in environments that bring them comfort, whereas if you were to visit the animals in real life they might take some time to warm up to you before revealing their looser, more playful sides.

"Some of our alpacas have lots of fans, like Curio who is an orphan and currently being bottle fed," Paul Rippon of Barnacre Alpacas explained. "If we have a poorly alpaca we get lots of love and support from our followers."

Rippon said the farm receives an overwhelming number of positive messages on social media, and people take the time to thank them for helping improve their mental wellbeing or brighten up their days.

So next time you're searching for a safe haven on social media, go ahead and give the alpacas a chance.

WATCH: Dogs are eating edibles in record numbers

[swipestream]

SUPERVERSIVE: Ultra Sun, Uranium, and the Quest for the Perfect Pokemon Game

I’ve thought deeply for awhile of how to approach this article. So it’ll be a bit long, but hopefully you’ll find it interesting. I’ll be going forward with the assumption that everyone knows the basic core concepts behind the pokemon franchise. And hey, even if you, specifically, don’t, I know the audience is out there.

You see, I’m a HUGE Pokémon fan. I grew up with the series but I like to think I’m pretty good at separating my opinions from nostalgia goggles. The games are just GOOD. The core concept behind the games is good. And Game Freak, whatever you might think of them, clearly puts a lot of care into the series. These games are more than cash grabs, there’s clear passion, and a willingness to listen to fan complaints.

I’m serious. A common complaint about the Pokémon games is that they are stagnant. They don’t try new things, they don’t innovate, they’re basically the same game. But look at the reviews of each game when it comes out. EVERY SINGLE ONE – literally – is complimented specifically for the different things it brings to the table.

Complaining that every Pokemon game is too similar is like complaining that My Hero Academia “just follows the standard Shonen formula”. Of course it does! The Shonen formula is REALLY GOOD when executed properly, and broad enough that you can get a lot of variety out of it. Ditto Pokémon.

Lately I’ve been going through a lot of Pokémon fan games. Pokémon Glazed, Prism, and Light Platinum are all good, especially Glazed. I recommend them all. But the king, by far the best Pokémon fan game I’ve played – maybe just the best Pokémon game ever made (we’ll get to that) – is Pokémon Uranium.

And it is this game, along with Pokémon Ultra Sun, a gen 7 mainline series Pokémon game, that I will be discussing here.

Uranium is the game made by people like me, for people like me: Millennials who grew up with the series who wanted to see a game that was more difficult without getting absurd, with a story that was more adult without getting grimdark just for the sake of it, and with a more serious tone that nevertheless kept underneath it all that same goofy Pokémon spirit. Things in Uranium get dark – REALLY dark. I won’t go into detail because I don’t want to spoil the entire story, but there is one particularly eerie moment maybe halfway or so through the game where you and your rival fly through the air on the back of a Pokémon Ranger’s Staraptor (the Rangers are in this game, and we’ll get to that). In a very brief cutscene we see in the background nuclear fallout spread over the recently evacuated city while an otherworldly version of the classic Pallet Town theme plays in the background. It’s shocking to see, it’s creepy, it recognizes that the player is going to be someone familiar with the series’ history, and I absolutely loved the game for having it.

And yet, despite all of that, never in the game did I feel things get depressing, or needlessly cruel, or lose their sense of fun and adventure.

The story goes that ten years before the plot proper starts your mother disappeared after a nuclear reactor meltdown, presumed dead. The ensuing fallout caused the pokemon in the immediate area to mutate into nuclear pokemon, hyper aggressive glowing green versions of normal pokemon with a brand new typing, the nuclear type, strong against everything but nuclear and steel but weak against everything but nuclear. At the time the game starts you are living in Moki Town with your aunt. After your mother’s disappearance your father buried himself in work and is now living in the region’s capital city as Chief of the Pokémon Rangers. At the age of (I believe) 12 you join your younger and brattier neighbor Theo, pick out your starter, and go off on your Pokémon adventure. What follows are trips into massive underground tunnels ruled by man-eating ants, a mysterious villain who seems to be intentionally causing nuclear meltdowns around the region, becoming the hokage of a clan of ninja, and more…a lot, lot more.

This project was a labor of love in every way and it shows. Your father being the chief of the Pokémon Rangers is a stroke of genius, connecting side games that are technically canonical yet all but ignored in mainline Pokémon releases and integrating them into the plot in a meaningful way that actually has an impact besides “Look, it’s there!” The pacing of the story is seamless, inserting major plot events at the proper places in the narrative without feeling like a reason to artificially jack up the story.

The world is huge, with a full 13 towns and 16 routes, plus a huge roster of original pokemon. And not only is it huge, it feels connected. An example:

At one point in the game you need to surf across a large stretch of water to get to a city on the opposite edge of the map. The game could just let you swim right across, dodging around and battling trainers moving in set patterns. Instead, you get periodically ambushed by a group of ninjas, eventually culminating in a fight with the hokage. After you win, congrats, you’re hokage now!

This comes back into play later when you have to travel to the ninja hometown and are ambushed by pirates. Sure enough who rescues you but, yes, your now-loyal ninja clan from earlier. It’s great tiny details like this that make the game shine. This doesn’t even really connect with the main story, but it fleshes out your character’s role in this world in a way that’s amusing, visceral, and memorable: You did a thing, other people remember you did a thing, because you did a thing the way people react to you changes. Pokémon really shines in terms of immersion when it can pull off these sorts of touches, and Uranium gets it.

The specter of nuclear annihilation looms over the entire game

Uranium is, as you might expect, also REALLY hard in ways a mainline game can’t be. Here you’re expected to know how to play. Nothing is easy, but it’s all *possible* to do without insane grinding. I picked a grass type starter and had a devil of a time with the fire type gym leader because I expected to take him down with a ground type…except his Pokémon were FLYING-fire types. Luckily, the game gives you the ability to counter this; early on you see at least three different types of electric pokemon you can catch and train relatively quickly, and with some work it’s possible to get past the gym without insane overleveling. Pokémon Uranium absolutely demands you strategize. At one point I was forced to catch and use pokemon I’d never need again specifically to, not take down one pokemon, but get one large HIT off so they’d be softened up for later. And it was a blast.

There’s a ton of variety in the route designs, and oftentimes getting from one town to another feels like an achievement. Again, the game expects you to know how to play. If you depend too much on one Pokémon, or one type, or one strategy, you will be punished for it. Uranium is clearly attempting to recreate that same feeling that a kid got when he made it through Viridian Forest or Victory Road for the first time for adults, and it succeeds.

Now obviously the game is not perfect. The multiplayer is glitchy, and I think some of the route and gym design choices are puzzling, to say the least. But as a whole it is a love letter to the franchise and the players who grew up with it, and I can’t commend it enough.

All right. That’s Uranium. This is probably the part of the review where you expect me to go on about all of the places Pokémon Ultra Sun fails in contrast, how Nintendo is losing touch with its core audience, how Pokémon has lost the magic, yada yada yada.

I’m not going to do that. The truth is, Pokémon Ultra Sun is REALLY good. Sometimes it’s even great. However, for a few reasons I’d probably consider it the weakest of the mainline games I’ve played. It has flaws, and I’ll discuss those first before getting into what it gets right and how it compares with Uranium.

Sun and Moon starts off really, really, really slow and easy. It remains that way for far too long as well. It’s like the first hour and a half or more of the game is basically a tutorial. I don’t need one! Game Freak should know by now that a lot of its players are 20 year vets. Slap on an optional tutorial and be done with it.

A neat map of Alola

I hear so many people rave over Alola and I don’t get it at all. Alola is – and this will sound pretty harsh, but there you go – boring. Most of the routes look really similar (partially hurt by the loss of the traditional bird’s eye view – routes with the potential to look cool you can only see from a relatively limited angle, so it looks like Yet Another Road), and only a couple of the town designs can be called anything close to memorable. One of those memorable towns – a town made up of all docks connected to each other – is even just a stolen design from generation 3 (Pacifidalog Town). Making the games set on a tropical island was a mistake, as there is much less opportunity to create varied weather and landscapes. The fact that this game has the fewest routes and towns of any generation is absolutely shameful. There is no excuse for this on the most technologically advanced game engine used to date (well, until the Let’s Go games, but they’re generation 1 remakes).

The game is also badly railroaded. Now technically every pokemon game is pretty railroaded – you are supposed to do certain things in a certain order and can’t continue if you don’t. But you feel it this time. In previous games, and, yes, in Uranium – you would be traveling and doing things for yourself, because you wanted to, that weren’t necessarily connected with the overarching structure. In one example from above, you become Hokage of a ninja clan. In the generation 2 mainline games there is a short sidequest about getting a pokemon to move out of the way of the route you want to take, which involves you searching through houses in a town to find the proper tools to do it. You’re not doing this to save the world or stop the evil team, but because you want to get to the next gym and continue your adventure. Nobody from the overarching narrative is forcing this on you. In another section you go to catch a red Gyrados terrorizing a lake. While this technically connects to the larger narrative that isn’t WHY you’re doing it. You’re doing it because you want that pokemon and the gym leader asked for help. These small details are almost absent from generation 7.

And this really messes with immersion. The sense of impact to what you’re doing, its impressiveness, seems forced. Early games set you up as a prodigy – in gen 2 you even face the protagonist of the previous game again, who has apparently hidden high up in the mountains to learn the ways of battling like some sort of warrior monk. You’re supposed to be a prodigy here too, but battles are too easy. It’s more like everyone else just sucks, a lot. Luckily, this changes in a big way for the better, and we’ll get to that when it comes to the pros of the game (there are many!).

The Exp. All device, which when on gives the battling pokemon full exp. and half exp. to every other non-fainted pokemon, is also a huge mistake. The common criticism is that it’s like taking an easy game and playing it on easy mode. This criticism is correct, but there is another problem. The original item, the Exp. Share, which split exp in half between the battling pokemon and the pokemon holding the device, was a great idea. If you wanted to bring a new pokemon into your party you can bring it up to the level of the rest of your party quickly without messing up your battles or constant grinding. By splitting the exp with the entire party it misses the point of the original Exp share, and for your pokemon to catch up you need to go back to sticking the pokemon you want to train in front and swapping it out – meaning that you lose the advantage of having an Exp. Share in the first place!

So while good for younger players who have trouble raising a balanced team it’s a mess for players who are more interested in spending time training and getting to know the world.

Now for the good. I’ll first point out that I looked up the differences between Sun and Moon and Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon. The best I can say about it is that if my understanding of the original two games is correct…I probably would have hated the original games. Because they don’t get that much harder. The rival isn’t as big a part of the game. And the postgame is weak.

Happily, Ultra Sun gets MUCH, MUCH harder, your rival has a full character arc integrated seamlessly into the story, and the postgame is unbelievably good.

Oh yeah!

The postgame of Ultra Sun, at least as of right now, since Uranium is technically still updating – is better than Uranium’s by a VERY wide margin. An addition to Ultra Sun, that was NOT in the original Sun and Moon, is the Rainbow Rocket episode. Fruity name aside, this is a fantastic addition, designed specifically with long time players in mind. It brings back the major villains of almost every previous pokemon game and gets really, REALLY hard. Seeing all of the uniforms and people you recognize, complete with remixed versions of their classic soundtracks and smart callbacks, makes the purchase of Ultra Sun worth it almost by itself. In addition to this the series of boss battles that takes place starting near the end of the game jumps in difficulty dramatically. For the first time – and to my relief – I was required to really strategize in battles, coming up with different plans and ideas each time I lost as potential counters to my in-game opponents.

A new mechanic known as “Ultra Wormholes” is also a blast. By traveling through these interdimensional portals it is possible with some work to capture almost every single legendary pokemon in the franchise thus far – which is, needless to say, pretty freaking cool.

And…to my surprise…the story is actually pretty good? It’s probably the best story the games have ever had. The character development of Lillie is by far the best part of the game, and her family drama is actually, legitimately compelling. Your rival has a real character arc and the pacing is seamlessly integrated throughout the story. There is a tradeoff here, because by getting so story heavy you lose that sense that it’s a story YOU’RE creating, but the flip side of this is that by making the characters feel more real and the narrative more compelling you’re further sucked into the world in that sense. It’s no masterpiece by any means, but it’s easily the best story in a pokemon game and perfectly good on its own merits as well. This helps make up for a lot of the game’s other flaws with respect to immersion.

While this is not a new addition, the nifty mechanic where you get to groom, feed, and play with your pokemon is a nice touch, and it’s especially fun to see the relationships you build actually bear fruit in battle.

Ultimately, despite flaws, I had a blast with Pokémon Ultra Sun. For the hardcore pokemon fans like me, the Ultra versions are definitely the definitive gen 7 games. For more casual fans, you’ll definitely enjoy it as well.

Still, Uranium is a great example of a time where fans of a franchise were able to produce a product that the original company really couldn’t make. The difficulty curve of the game and more serious story were exactly what long time fans of the franchise were waiting for and what Game Freak really couldn’t provide even if they wanted to. While neither game is perfect, if I was to recommend one game over the other I’d recommend Uranium over Ultra Sun. It is a more classic Pokémon experience updated for an older generation, and I believe it has fewer big flaws than Ultra Sun, whatever its many benefits.

In any case, both games are definitely highly recommended.

SUPERVERSIVE: Ultra Sun, Uranium, and the Quest for the Perfect Pokemon Game published first on https://medium.com/@ReloadedPCGames

[junker-town]

Is Conor McGregor for real with these training videos?

Videos of Conor McGregor preparing for Floyd Mayweather Jr. are easy to make fun of. So why does he train like that?

Conor McGregor is an amateur boxer and, in less than two weeks, will make his professional debut against one of the best boxers in history, Floyd Mayweather Jr.

How he’ll prepare to make that transition from mixed martial artist to boxer will be scrutinized, no matter what he approach he takes.

McGregor, compiled a 21-3 record in mixed martial arts, and last year became the first fighter to ever hold two championship belts in the UFC, simultaneously.

Boxing is a different sport, though. Yes, it was McGregor’s hands — particularly, his left — that fueled his quick rise to superstardom, but the challenges of a different rule set change a lot.

After 49 fights in the ring, we know what Mayweather will look like as a boxer, but McGregor is a different story. So every time he releases video of his training it is dissected and diagnosed by everyone trying to decide if he has any chance at all.

So far those training videos have been mocked and made fun of.

At an open workout Friday, McGregor provided more fuel for those fires when some clips of him training in front of reporters were released on the Internet. Are those criticisms fair? Let’s take a look.

Bag work

Bag work. http://pic.twitter.com/0SAPCku30C

— Ariel Helwani (@arielhelwani) August 11, 2017

The obvious takeaway is that this is slow. Boxing is a sport of speed, timing, and reactions. Looking like you’re moving in slow motion isn’t going to win anybody over.

Speed the video up and, hey, now we’re talking.

wow conor mcgregor looks pretty good in this gif I sped up to 150% http://pic.twitter.com/LGX02t2qPf

— Hector Diaz (@iamHectorDiaz) August 11, 2017

It was the same thing that got McGregor laughed at in June, when he and Mayweather both released videos. The 40-year-old boxer’s looked significantly better.

Mayweather and McGregor training videos from today side by side. http://pic.twitter.com/cAJDPy9Dwn

— BlackSportsOnline (@BSO) June 29, 2017

So why train in slow motion? Some have suggested McGregor is trying to keep the element of surprise for when he meets Mayweather. Others think he’s just trolling with intentionally bad videos to dupe the public.

It’s clearly not a show of his actual hand speed. He’s shown that he’s faster than that in the UFC, and even in short clips of his sparring session with Paulie Malignaggi we can see him slip a quick left hand through much faster than any punch he threw at the bag Friday.

But the reality is this isn’t any different than the way McGregor always trains. He explained his training philosophy and walked a group of fighters through his reasoning when he was a coach on UFC reality show The Ultimate Fighter in 2015.

“That’s upgrading your software without damaging your hardware,” McGregor explained to the fighters. “So you’re not getting injured, but you’re feeling the positions and all.”

The idea has seemingly served him well in the UFC. Fighters often have to pull out of fights due to injuries suffered in camp, but McGregor has always shown up and is 9-1 in the UFC.

But reaction time and quickness are even more important in boxing. Will his training philosophy translate well to a different sport? We’ll find out on Aug. 26.

Movement training

Dangerous noodle is what we shall call this technique http://pic.twitter.com/wCsrzwLeTe

— Andreas Hale (@AndreasHale) August 11, 2017

Move over Cha Cha Slide because Conor McGregor is taking over with this line dance that will fooking dominate dance floors! http://pic.twitter.com/dCp8gbEQWq

— Andreas Hale (@AndreasHale) August 12, 2017

This is definitely something that you won’t see McGregor do in the ring against Mayweather. It’s also incredibly easy to make fun of.

That’s also not new for McGregor. He was mocked for doing similar drills while working with movement coach Ido Portal prior to several of his UFC fights.

“You’ve got that little goofy mother fucker with you. I have real training partners,” Nate Diaz said prior to his first fight with McGregor.

Diaz was referring to a video released prior to McGregor’s fight with Jose Aldo at UFC 194 that showed the fighter doing cartwheels, somersaults and other things he’d never actually do in a fight.

McGregor explained the value in another video released just a few days later.

"What happens is people jump out of bed, brush their teeth, stuff their faces with food, make their way to the gym, barely warm up, do 10 rounds, go home, rest, eat, go back to the gym,” McGregor said. “You can just feel that body locking. I'm waking up and the first thing I'm doing now is spinal waves. I can actually hear it. ... It's like you're loosening the cobwebs. And it's been paying off for me."

Like McGregor’s slow training videos, his movement training is also easy to mock. And it too, is a philosophy that may not translate well to the world of boxing.

In an interview with MMA Fighting’s Ariel Helwani, he was asked about the reactions to his training videos.

“It happens to all greats. Training methods, everything is criticized,” Mayweather said. “Orginially, Floyd way back, his method of hitting the pads and the bag were ridiculed during the [Ricky] Hatton build up. When I first started hearing about Floyd, they ridiculed his methods. And then all of a sudden everyone starts trying to follow his methods.

“It’s been the same way with me when I started incorporating movement training and I started incorporating certain attacks and certain approaches in the mixed martial arts game. It’s a joke. How many times have I been called a joker? And then everyone starts following and trying to study. It’s no different here.”

McGregor believes his methods will eventually be adopted by other boxers.

“The same thing will happen that always happens. They will try to push it away, it will be put in front of them, Floyd will be slept, and then they will begin the studying process, and then implementing process.”

With less than two weeks to go, McGregor is currently a +375 underdog, a surprisingly close line considering the monumental task he has ahead of him. If he’s dominated by Mayweather, as many expect him to be, it’s safe to say his training methods aren’t going to become all the rage. It’ll also justify everyone who made fun of him.

If you think McGregor’s going to get worked by Mayweather — a more than valid opinion — mock away. But if he pulls off the titanic upset, maybe he’s right.

Wait, one more training video before you go.

Y'all missed the best move of the day http://pic.twitter.com/4UUvwl7ap3

— Mick Akers (@mickakers) August 12, 2017

Uh ... ok yeah, I have no idea what that one is.