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missaddamsworld · 2 years ago

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Evajacks Christmas Special

Hi Everyone!

This is my first fanfic so please take it easy on me.

Thank you @jackstheprinceofhearts for the prompt and your review!

If you have time, please visit her page, she's the best <3

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or OUABH or TBONA.

Warning: Possible spoiler if you haven't read both books! **********************************************************************

Christmas Special

“What would a fate want for Christmas? That thought was coming back for the hundredth time to Evangeline’s mind. Should she buy him a dozen apples? Or a scarf? His skin was always cold, he didn’t need that. And the apples he ate were not ordinary fruits.

She walked down the market as the snow fell lightly on her cape. She already bought presents for Lala and Chaos. So far, she could say she had friends. Lala was on her friend list for a long time, but she decided to add Chaos recently. She was also thinking about him as a friend since he helped her stay human on that fateful night. She thought about Luc as a friend, but giving him a present would have been awkward.

There was one more person she could not add to her friend list, but rather to her love list. J-A-C-K-S. Yes, he was the love of her life. After they broke the Archer’s curse, they agreed to take things slow. Nobody knew that the curse was broken, and no one had seen them having their first kiss. There have been many secret kisses and touches since then. Jacks felt vulnerable and needed time to adjust to his new life. Despite the current situation, he was his old self.

“Argh, I hate Christmas.” He was grumbling when Lala and the Valors set up a meeting to discuss the holiday season tasks.

“What?” Asked Evangeline.

“He hates all the Holidays” Lala replied with a smirk. She knew it would bring trouble for Jacks.

“Why do you hate all holidays?” Evangeline furrowed her bows.

“Christmas is truly not about love and family. It is about decorations, stupid kisses under the mistletoe, false singing, and expensive presents. What are you even getting presents for? The season changing?!” He started his speech bored but became quite upset in the end.

“Jacks, you are being ridiculous.” Evangeline was so disappointed, yet she somehow knew he would react this way. That is just the way he was.

“Fine, put up your stupid decorations, get presents and give kisses under the stupid mistletoe. Just don’t involve me.” It seemed like the mistletoe was the main enemy. He was probably jealous since he could never kiss any girl without killing them.

That was the last time he attended the Christmas meetings.

It was very challenging to love him sometimes. Yet Evangeline wanted to give him something personal and enjoy the holidays with him. She tried to involve him in the preparations, but it was a big failure.

“At least please tell me you are attending the Christmas ball.” Evangeline was looking at him with big watery eyes.

“I do not want to attend. I told you this is all a waste of time.” He sighed and leaned back in his armchair.

“Very well. Then I will ask Chaos or maybe Luc to be my partner…” she provoked him with the other possibilities.

“You wouldn’t dare, Little Fox.” He narrowed his eyes, but he knew he had lost this round.

“Try me, Lord Jacks.” She kept her face straight, but inside she smiled wide. She knew he wouldn’t let her near Luc or Chaos.

“Okay, you won… Anyways, you owe me a dance since Lala’s engagement party.” He smirked.

Lost in thoughts, she found herself wandering at a jewelry stand on the opposite end of the market. She looked at the beautiful crafts and gems and suddenly found out what could be the perfect present for the Prince of Hearts.

Evangeline had a plan, but she needed help. She grabbed her skirt and ran to the castle’s highest tower, where Honora Valor opened the door with a bright smile.

Christmas day finally came. Evangeline put the last ornament on the Christmas tree and took a few steps back to adore the view. The lights on the tree were flickering, its shine mirrored by the decorations. It was one of the most beautiful things she’d ever seen.

It was time to get ready for the ball. She had her rose gold locks pinned on the top of her head. The dress on her was astonishing. It was glittering from top to bottom. It had a deep V-cut neckline and no sleeves. The corset had rose gold glitters and white flowers. The skirt started with white flowers and dark, almost brown shade glittering material underneath. The colors blended into rose gold again. Silky, white flowers were coming up from the bottom as if they wanted to reach the other flowers on the waist.

“Little Fox, I know I promised you to attend the ball, and I will. But first I have to take care of something. Meet you in the main hall.” She heard Jacks’s projected thoughts.

“Don’t keep me waiting for long…” she replied and placed a box on the table. Carefully took out Jacks’s dagger to take one last look. The blade was polished, almost glowing in her hands. How many times was she cut with it…

Sweet memories of Jacks and apples rushed through her mind. She licked her lips. She almost felt the metallic taste of his blood.

When she visited Honora Valor she asked her help to fill the holes in the dagger where the gems were missing. In a couple of minutes, she was holding her breath as Honora gently opened an opal black box and offered to use the stones of the Valory Arch.

One for luck.

One for truth.

One for mirth.

One for youth.

She put the dagger back into the box and approached the main hall, hoping Jacks was already there.

She was wrong.

The whole hall was vibrating. People along the long tables were chatting and laughing when she came to her seat. Mistletoe was hanging from the ceiling and even at the arches. The decoration was mesmerizing. On the sides of the hall, ice sculptures were on the tables. Spicy, sweet biscuits covered the shiny plates. The Christmas tree was the main attraction of course. Evangeline saw people laying their presents underneath the tree. She did not want to give him the gift here. She wanted to see his honest reaction. In front of everyone, he would probably hide all his emotions.

When the dinner started, she searched the room, yet no sign of Jacks. The seat next to her was untouched.

“I must say you look radiant tonight.” Luc appeared in front of her all of a sudden.

“Thank you, Luc. That’s very kind of you.” she said, but in her mind, she repeated: DON’T LOOK INTO HIS EYES. She knew how that would affect her. God, it was so hard to look at someone but don’t look into the eyes.

“Where is your apple gobbler shadow?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Uhm, I don’t know. He promised to be here shortly.” She put pressure on that word, hoping Jacks could hear it too.

“Well, you still owe me a dance” He winked and lifted his hand while bowing.

“Oh, oh… right.” She took his hand hesitantly, wishing it would be Jacks's hand. She heard almost the same sentence from Luc when they were at Lala’s engagement party. She looked around and caught Chaos’ grin from the corner.

The music started with a slow rhythm, and Luc took the lead. They moved around on the dance floor like she knew how to dance. It was easy while Luc’s hand was on her waist to guide her. He was the first love she had. Evangeline remembered how Luc comforted her after her father died. That sweet boy, who had always been there for her. But after Marisol’s curse, he became her fiancé, then a vampire.

What could have been if Marisol didn’t curse him? Would they still be together? Would they have stayed in Valenda? How would it have ended?

“You know, I wanted to apologize for everything. I was so lost when I came to the North. I saw the world through foggy eyes, not thinking about anything but her. Only one thought played on my mind: I had to find the cure and return to Marisol so we could be together again. When I’ve been bit, I sobered up. The vampire venom lifted the fog from my mind.” He smiled sadly. “When I saw you through the cage, I could not believe my eyes. I want you to know that it wasn’t me, it was the venom. I would never hurt you, Eva.” He looked at her, she could feel his eyes on her flushed cheeks.

Luc looked up and grinned. “Seems like we have an obligation now.”

Following him, she looked up and found herself underneath the mistletoe.

Oh no, no no no no no… This is not good. Do NOT look into his eyes!!! She looked down to avoid eye contact.

Luc was looking at her again but could not see her frightened eyes. Slowly he lifted her chin with his hand and leaned into a kiss. Evangeline tried to fight against it, but she accidentally looked into his eyes. His eyes were so familiar, promising the whole world, all the comfort and a happily ever after. Yet they were on fire, crashed and burned and tortured her soul.

One minute he was there and in another the Prince of Hearts was standing in front of her. His eyes were burning with anger. One of his hands was on Luc’s throat; with the other one, he was holding a dagger to his face. He turned his head towards Evangeline. “Little Fox, look at me.”

She looked into his furious icy blue eyes. This is how she imagined him when she decided to visit his temple. He looked cruel, sublime, merciless. Then the ice melted when their eyes met. Nothing left but the swirling ocean, pulling her deep down. She blinked a few times and smiled at him. “You kept me waiting…” She said playfully.

“Sorry love. Had something to take care of.” He winked and turned back to Luc.

“And you… if I ever and I mean EVER see you near her, I will rip your heart out and chop off your ugly head. Understood vampire boy?” He ground through his teeth.

“Understood, Prince of Hearts” Luc grinned since he was sure about one thing: Jacks could never kiss Evangeline without killing her. He didn’t know how wrong he was.

She will come back to me. He thought and lifted his hands as a sign of surrender.

“Will you dance with me, Little Fox?” He smiled and waited for her to accept his hand.

“If you are asking so nicely, how could I refuse?” Evangeline flushed, but before she could hide her emotions, Jacks grabbed her waist and pulled her closer.

"Every time I leave you alone for a bit, someone tries to steal you from me, kill you or enchant you." He sighed hopelessly.

"But you always find me just in time." Evangeline leaned her head on his chest while they slowed their pace.

"That's your luck. Otherwise, you would have been suffering from Luc's smelly breath and sweaty hands by now." He grimaced to express his disgust.

"Thank you for saving me… again." She lifted her head to look into his darkened eyes. "I know you don't like this Holiday thing, but I have a present for you. It's in my room though. Please accept it." She squeezed his hand to give strength to her words.

"Well, I've got you a gift too." He said shyly. SHYLY! Jacks said something shyly.

The shock on her face made him chuckle. One more thing she was not used to.

"Don't look at me like that. This is all new to me. I've been alive for centuries, yet no one could make me feel the way you do, Little Fox." He stopped suddenly and looked up. Evangeline was so shocked that she did not realize where they were. When Jacks was so close, everything else disappeared. She could only see him, not the surroundings or the other people.

"Kiss me." He demanded after he tilted his head up. Another mistletoe. Doubt and fear filled her eyes.

"Are you ready for this? It's okay if you don't want to. I understand. What we have is enough." She said and she meant it. She loved all the stolen moments they spent together as a couple. Jacks handled the secret relationship so well, she didn’t want it to be over. She was afraid his behavior would change.

He leaned to her ear and softly whispered. “After this little accident, I want to show everyone: You’re mine.” A shiver tripped down her spine at the last word.

He pulled back to look into her eyes. She swallowed and nodded slowly. “I’m yours.” Not just for tonight. She thought, and she had a feeling that Jacks heard it too.

Then everything went into slow motion. Jacks cupped her face and leaned into a kiss.

“Nooo!” She heard the screams, but she smiled at her love before pushing her mouth to his.

This kiss was indeed worth dying for. Kissing him felt like falling again and again, just like when they jumped off that cliff before. His soft lips felt like clouds, lifting her higher and higher. His hand on her waist held her tight to stay on the ground. He was so close, that she could feel his racing heart against hers. She never thought she could love this hard. Shivers with fire ran through her again and again. This was his attack against her body and every time she happily surrendered.

He pulled out from the kiss with a smirk. She couldn’t help but smile too.

Evangeline was finally able to look around. All she saw were horrified looks. Everyone was looking at them.

“Now that I've declared my claim on you, we should go.” He said smugly and led her out from the main hall.

After they arrived at Evangeline’s room, she felt her hands shaking from the excitement. Will he be happy with the gift? What if he finds it stupid? There’s only one way to find out. Get yourself together and hand it over…

“I’m sure I’ll love it, whatever it is. It’s from you.” He said softly. She didn’t realize that her thoughts were so loud.

Evangeline picked up the box and placed it into his hands. “Merry Christmas, Jacks.” She tried to force a smile on her face.

Jacks pulled the ribbon to untie the bow. His long fingers moved quickly. He held his blade with an adored look.

“I was looking for this for a while” He cracked a smile, his eyes glowed unnaturally.

“I stole it. And with Honora’s help, I repaired it.” She pointed to the gems on the hilt.

“One for luck. One for truth. One for mirth. One for youth.” For a second his eyes were wide open with surprise.

“You put THOSE stones on the hilt?” She heard his shocked voice.

“Yes. Just in case… you know. If you’d like to go back in time.” She said insecurely.

“Oh, Little Fox. I have no reason to go back in time anymore.” He stepped closer and looked deep into her eyes. “Right here and now I have everything I could wish for.” He lowered his head to meet her forehead. “Thank you for this beautiful present.” After a quick kiss, he pulled her towards his room.

“Now it is my turn.” He opened the door and stepped aside so Evangeline could see what was waiting for her. Hundreds of candles lit the room. Shadows were dancing on the walls as he closed the door behind them. She saw rose petals flowing across the floor like blood in the dim light.

“Jacks, what’s going on here?” She asked him curiously.

“I’m done hiding. I want to be with you. Not in secret, but for real. In the Hollow, I meant it, when I asked you to let me pretend you are mine and pretend that you want to be mine. Now I’m asking you to stop pretending.” He held her hands in his and lightly squeezed them.

“Jacks… I stopped pretending right after that night.” She smiled lovingly.

“Then allow me…” He let go of her hands and took a step back. He got down on one knee and pulled out a little jewelry box from his pocket.

“Evangeline Fox, will you honor me by becoming the queen of my heart?” He whispered as these words were so intimate, no one else should hear them.

For a moment, she felt like falling again. She felt dizzy, her heart was racing and her palms were sweaty. A proposal? So this was what he was planning to give her.

She managed to tear her eyes from his and as she looked down there was it. A ring! From the Prince of Hearts, asking her to be his queen.

The ring was gold with a big ruby heart-shaped gem in the middle surrounded by smaller diamonds. But the longer she looked at it the more she saw. Drops of gold-flecked blood were bouncing in the ruby. She knew what those were; she saw them before.

“Is that—?” She started, but he interrupted.

“My blood.” He smiled gently. “You’re not the only one who visited Honora. There was one thing I wanted to do since I used the stones to go back in time and save your life.” Jacks caught the surprise in her eyes but continued before she could speak a word.

“I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. But you are mortal and I’m a fate. I cannot lose you. Ever. So, I asked her to help me solve this problem. If you say yes, with this ring on your finger and a spell we can have our happily ever after forever.”

She gasped for air, but she knew that this was the greatest gift she could ever imagine.

“Yes. YES!” She cried in excitement and felt the magic swirling through her limbs as he pulled the ring on her finger. He stood up and leaned closer to her.

“I’m yours and you are mine until the end of time. Forever.” He whispered the words so low she could barely hear them.

“Forever.” She replied and felt the weight of the magic behind it.

Jacks sealed their promise with a tender kiss, but she could only think of the fireworks in her stomach and the magic running through her body.

He was finally hers. Forever.

#jacks prince of hearts #jacks of the hollow #jacks #jacks x evangeline #evangeline fox #evangeline #evajacks #the ballad of never after #tbona #prince of hearts #ouabh #stephanie garber

115 notes · View notes

alarrytale · 5 months ago

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“I also think he's facing pressure to do recidencies and play Az*ff venues, and i'm not sure how he feels about having to cater even more to the american market and only ever seeing things in terms of cash, if it means ignoring the rest of the world.”

Do you think H didn’t enjoyed his residency shows that much too? To me it looked that many shows were very repetitive, his typical dances looked more like ran on autopilot than genuine and the only shows he looked like he’s enjoying more were those 5 in Chicago. So I hope he will make some compromise if there’s a pressure on him carter to american market/do resindencies at Az*ff venues that he will also do more shows in EU like the last time (he played some venues twice or even thrice) because undoubly his best shows were in EU/UK because he looked he can be more his gay self, showing some mannerism. And of course, very special ones were in LatAm because it was after h*livia sh*tshow and he beamed like sun, looking so happy and playful.

Hi, anon!

Yes, i don't think he enjoyed it much. I agree with you that it looked like he was on autopilot, he lacked his usual spark, and the audience were the same (people went to several shows), was very het and unresponsive. He looked like a kid at Christmas when he left the US and had his first show in Latam. Different energy and the spark was back (Leave America was back too and he loved it).

The MSG run followed by the Inglewood run was too much. Fans were bored by the Inglewood run, and H seemed boored too. The Hollywood celebs in the VIP era every night made me barf. I can't imagine if he's to do another MSG run followed by 20 dates at the Sphere in Vegas. Nobody wants that besides the Azo*fs. Free him.

#the hype accounts are saying h wants to play cities where he hasn't been before like in africa #i hope that's true #i hope he doesn’t have to do residencies #solo harry #hs4

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shojizbae · 1 year ago

Text

Chuseok

Min Ho x Fem! Reader

Masterlist

♨︎☤♨︎✄

Chuseok arrived soon enough, meaning Principal Han gave speeches to the class on the importance of family and then reminded us to study hard for finals. This also meant that the majority of the school was going home for the week we were given to ourselves and 'family'. Unfortunately, when I text my dad that he should expect me home in about 48 hours all he responded with was 'why'.

message received he doesn't want me around. I wish all my roommates a happy Chuseok as I see their smiles. they all are happy to go home to their parents. I decide to visit the family plot and pray for my brothers' health.

I feel homesick.

I put on my headphones and opened the mother's notebook. It's full of all my mom and grandma's best recipes. It's a tradition in our household that I prepare our special maejakgwa. Mom used to make them every Christmas, Chuseok, and birthday but she can't really do that anymore. Luckily, Kitty is planning a friendsgiving and needs help at the market.

She meets me at my dorm to help me pick out an outfit. I'm still struggling to accommodate all the new choices. Not much familiar. She picks out a pair of slightly platform vans, and a knit, a green-striped mini dress which is a little showy for my tastes. There's a slight wind chill today, so she pairs to be in a different denim jacket than the other day. Seriously Min Ho bought like nine of these.

She puts my wallet, tampons, and other doodads from my last purse into a cross-body bag from YSL. Then she ushers me out of school and into a bus. The city is a little less crowded with all the college kids home for the holiday. That doesn't mean that the families that do live in the city don't the marketplace an absolute zoo. Kitty doesn't have a clue how to read any of the labels so I translate while she fiddles with a playlist of Tik Toks. I show her the bargains but she insists on getting the exact products used in her tik toks.

Kitty is insistent on getting a very pricy bottle of soy sauce. I try to tell her no but she places it in the cart. we move down the aisle. We're doing well until Min Ho approaches,

"What are you doing here?" He asks Kitty, still oblivious to my presence.

"We are getting ingredients for Chuseok dinner."

"Do you even know what you would do with this?" he holds up a bag of rice cakes

"Yes, I do! C'mon Kitty, we only need a few more things." I grab her enormous cart and grunt it forward. Min Ho catches up with us. Probably because I can only go snail speed with the massive cart.

"Here let me help you," he put his very small basket in our cart nad pushed forward. He retuned most of the supplies claiming he already had it up in his dorm.

"Min Ho, who are you buying chocolate strawberries for?" Kitty picks up a heart shaped box

"Someone." he snatches the box back and his phone dings "Ooh it's Lulu, we've been flirting since her trainee days." something in me wilts. That's new.

He ushers us to the registers and it takes much less time to check out if I let Kitty take the ropes. Min Ho brings us to his driver and has him load our groceries in. It feels weird to let people serve me. Were driven back and go right back to the Song-Ho dorm.

Kitty and I put their groceries up in the refrigerator and in the cabinets while Min Ho puts on a movie. It's one that his mom starred in. I missed the tragic opening scene of the movie as I sort out the groceries I need for my recipes.

Min Ho plops down in the center of the left cushion and Kitty joins him at a comfortable distance at the center of the right cushion. This leaves an awkward situation. There isn't enough space to sit between Kitty and the armrest. This means that I have to sit between the two of them. I take my jean jacket off so I don't scratch either of them with the buttons.

Kitty scoots closer to the armrest when I sit and I focus in on the plot. the premise is an uber successful businesswoman whose conglomeration is just a front for her underground ring. Because of Korean censorship laws, they couldn't actually show real drugs but it's heavily implied that she's creating and selling some crazy hallucinogen. The twist though is that she starts to fall in love with one of her lackeys who recently got hooked on her products. This lackey is tied to the company because he's using his labor to pay off his debt. I heard that the movie ends with his mom pregnant because of course no woman is truly fulfilled until she's a mother.

I watch Min Ho's amber eyes light up as he recounts details and stories from the set. From the skeezy director who was hooking up with a sound tech girl. To the producer who showed up drunk every two weeks. He tells me how one arts producer almost quit because he had to keep rebuilding props. and even the fight that went down between the hair designers and the costume team. I start to lose interest though when he brags about the crafty that he hooked up with while his mom performed a very emotional monologue. I swivel my head back to the TV screen as she begins that very monologue.

Her sorrowful words bring tears to my eyes but weight over rules that as I feel exhaustion kicks in. Man, I didn't realize I was this tired. The world swirls to pitch black as I hear his mom sigh and lament.

♨︎☤♨︎✄

I awake to someone gently but incessantly poking my cheek. I peel open my eyes and wipe the crust from my eyelashes. I catch the trail of droll that rolls down the corner of my mouth.

"Man you are not a pretty sleeper."

"Min Ho!" Q, I think yells from the kitchen "That is not nice!"

"I'm just saying, you snore like an ogre." I feel the seam of a blanket tickle my chin as I try to swivel my stiff neck.

"Why is there a blanket on me?" I sit up and let the blanket fall to my waist

"Huh,"

"Why is there a blanket on me?" I inquire with some 'tude

"Because I didn't want you to get cold." min ho mutters but I'm still half asleep so comprehension is still kind of out the window

"What was that Minnie?"

"I didn't want you to get cold!" he half yells half whines

"Aww, you can be sympathetic." I stand up and drape the blaket on his shoulders using it as leverage to pull him close to my face "That's sweet." I tug one side so it flies off his neck and wrap it around my shoulders.

in the Kitchen Q and Kitty are still pulling gout take-out containers. I grab a pair of chopsticks and steal a box of shrimp lomein. Q picks out a pox of fried chicken and some pork fried rice, and Kitty produces a white box of crab rangoon which she munches on happily. Min-ho returns to his room and scoffs at us. he digs through the fridge and pulls out a cabbage and starts chopping it up.

"Are you making Kim Chi for Chuseok?" Dae inquires

"Yeah,"

""Aw man. I almost wish I wasn't going home."

"You're lucky you get to go home. You don't have to be poisoned at Chuseok by Min Ho's kimchi"

"You will not be poisoned, my kimchi is nothing short of orgasmic." I stop and pause with my chopsticks an inch away from my mouth.

"That's disgusting, I suddenly would much rather sleep completely alone in my dorm now." I collect my jacket and my bag of groceries and hike back to the girl's dorm. It's cold and empty in the dorm, I have to turn on every light to see anything. I toss my jacket into oblivion bit then I pause and pick it up and hang it on the coat rack.

I switch the TV on for a source of white noise. The news anchor drones on in Korean about some scandal or another. I circle back to the bag of groceries and start disbursing them throughout the shelves. The majority of our food is freezer meals, sodas, and snacks so I did drop a few dollars on flour. I decide to call it a night. The dorm is lonely, there is no waiting for an obscene amount of time to use the bathroom. I just march right in and line up the products I'll need. I won't need to hide them for the next 6 days.

huh

I clean the bathroom after I've cleansed and wiped and moisturized and serum my face. No one is going to screw this up. I think as I observe the spotless space

huh

With a final brush to my teeth and an adjustment to my braids, I turn the bathroom lights out and lock the front door to the dorm. I flip off the lights in my dorm and tug my hoodie hood up. I pull my covers on and plug my phone in and scroll through Tik Toks. I poke a leg out and flip over on my mattress. I toss and turn for another forty minutes before exhaustion consumes me.

♨︎☤♨︎✄

I arise with perfectly soft and styled hair, and cute matching silky pajamas. Min Ho is in my kitchen preparing me a macchiato without his shirt on.

"Good morning gorgeous." he holds the cup up to me and I hold it. It's the perfect temperature and its tastes lovely when I take a sip. I lick my bottom lip of some loose foam. Min Ho walks around the counter and stands really close to my face. He smells warm and clean, like fresh laundry. In fact, his body radiates warmth.

"Uh oh, You've got a little something." He brings his thumb up to my lip and swipes excess foam off my lip. He puts his thumb to his lips and gently runs his tongue along it. Everything seems to slow down and time ticks by "Well, that was sweet," He leans in and kisses me. He leans back and his eyes flit between mine. I curl up to my tippy toes and kiss him again and his tongue licks across my bottom lip. I open my mouth and let him in.

His kiss feels incredible.

I put my cup on the counter and wrap my arms around his neck. He grabbed me at the back of my thighs, not my ass, just below. I jump up on him and he grabs on tight. He marches me into my room and sets me on the mattress. Everything feels silky, the sheets, his hair, his pajama pants, his skin. His lips feel like warm velvet cake and his body weight feels so comfortable.

I wrap my legs around his waist and he runs his hands up my neck and through my hair. He's locked in and I start rolling my hips against his groin. He feels hot against me. Everything feels hot and silky. In a startling and almost abrupt manner, I feel an oncoming orgasm. My body feels somewhere between weightless and tingling.

I wake up with a startle before I can climax.

My body was shaking. My feet feel like they're full of pins and needles. I walk around and look in the mirror. I try to look at myself but I feel so disgusted. It's not even light out I notice as I take a glance to the window.

I grab my phone and text Q

'emergency hike as soon as you wake up' 02:33

'now?" 02:34

'Oh shit, I guess' 02:34

I run into my room and find some better clothing. All I'm wearing is a hoodie and underwear. I put on a clean pair of underwear and some calf-high socks. I find a cute body suit with a chest cut out and high hips. I find a matching tech wear joggers and cropped hoodie set and throw that on with a pair of high-rise vans. I didn't take the time to put in contacts or put on makeup I just grabbed my phone and ran out the door. Q was waiting for me looking just as glowing as he normally did.

"How do you look so pretty at four in the morning?" I tuck my glasses up

"There is no need for you to be asking me questions. Why did you call an emergency hike? You were so opposed to hiking earlier?"

"Well that's because I didn't want to be around a bunch of people to just stare at me."

"Well you picked a good time, any sane person is still asleep."

"Yeah, that reminds me, why aren't you in bed?"

"Because you texted."

"Well, yeah but," We hit the first hill on the path

"Quit stalling, why did you text me?" He gives me a punitive look in my eyes. I stall until we've reached the apex, and begin our decent

"Uhh, I had a dream."

"Alright Dr. King, about what?"

"Umh about, Min Ho-"

"YOU HAD A SEX DREAM ABOUT MIN HO!"

"Well, um yeah sorta. We didn't have sex but we were making out and it was like hot."

"Ok, so do you think you like Min Ho?"

"No, I'm actually repulsed by him, but like my brain clearly wants me to like him. I'm just, I'm simply lost. Like I have a tangy feeling in my mouth just thinking about kissing him."

"Could that just be morning breath?"

"maybe, but what does this mean? I've never, er I've never really had. sex dream before."

"Never?"

"Well, not this vivid. I had one but it was like I was getting caressed by all these shadows and you could see hands and mouth coming out and attaching to my body but it was no one specific."

"That sounds hot."

"That's not the focus! what am I supposed to do Q?

"I think you should ask Min Ho to be your date to Chuseok."

"I don't think I should get a date to chuseok, especially since he's supposed to be hooking up with Lulu some time soon."

"Lulu she's totally gorgeous and has a beautiful singing voice and she's great at dancing."

"Q" I whined "You're not helping."

"Oh, so you like him?"

"NO, I'm repulsed by him."

"But you dreamt about making out with him?"

"I don't know Q," we round the corner which brings us to the end of the trail "This whole thing is so weird. It's like He's so physically hot that I would be attracted to him scientifically. But his personality is just repulsive. His ego makes me nauseous but every once in a while there is this crack in his persona. You can see this like, genuinely caring and gentle person. But his goodness doesn't outweigh his horrible terribleness."

"Well, maybe you should just make out with him and see if it fucks up your psyche."

"That's terrible."

"You should just try kissing him. Get this out of your system and then see if he wants to keep kissing you or you to him."

"That's nauseating." we reenter the school grounds and sit in the little circle with a cherry blossom tree.

"Well you were the one who dreamed about him all nakey and rubbing up on you."

"Uh gross, I need to go wash my brain and body with holy water."

"No, look, the sun is about to rise!" he points me toward the sky and we get to see the beautiful sunrise. It's so wonderful. It makes my mind clear almost instantly. I look at the conglomeration of colors. The many swirling clouds of violet ad tangerine swirl into a lovely rose to tint the clouds. I sigh and run through all the possibilities of if or If I were not to kiss him.

Every time I come upon a negative answer I just look back into the sky and I see the swirling rainbow. The world looks so pretty when you're not worried about it.

"Alright, we're going to need to get back to the dorm if we want at least an hour of sleep in us before classes." Q shakes me but I remain fixed on the sky

"Why bother, let's just skip."

"No, we don't skip this is a boarding school. Have you forgotten where you are?"

"No,"

"Well maybe you've forgotten who you are."

"Maybe. Ever since this whole transformation I really feel like a whole new girl. I've never felt the desire to rebel like this. What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing, you're doing what normal people do at 12. Some sort of sexual awakening mixed with the urge to rebel."

"You sound like me," I finally get up and join him. We walk back to the dorms. Well I to mine and him to his. I shower thoroughly and brew coffee instead of just using instant coffee. I blare music through the kitchen speakers and sing along to my heart's content. While the coffee brews, I dance around and get dressed. I've got my shirt half-buttoned and tucked sloppily into the skirt. I'm halfway through tugging my left sock on when my front door opens. I scream and topple over.

"Oh my god! Don't ever make that sound again!" from the ground I see Min Ho plugging his ears. He looks handsome in his school uniform, mmm but his tie is sloppy.

"Min Ho," I stand up and brush myself off "Ughh, Alexa volume two. Min Ho, how did you get in?"

"You left your door unlocked. Someone could have broken in." He closes the door behind himself and I hear the lock click.

"Why'd you lock the door?"

"So no one could interrupt us," he stalk closer to me and hold me around my waist. "You know coffee seems to be a good taste on your tongue." He kisses me again. It's even more heated than the first one. Except this time it's real. I can feel the warmth of his body against mine.

"UH (Y/n)?" Q shakes me awake "(Y/n), you were drooling into your coffee." I grunt myself awake and take in my surroundings. I'm not in my dorm, I'm in the boy's dorm. I've got contacts in and I'm quite neatly dressed. Even someone had french braided my hair. Kitty.

I scan over and see that Min Ho, too is very neatly dressed and his tie has been placed impeccably. Except he's not in his uniform he's just dressed for a business meeting.

"Why are you dressed so fancy?"

"I told you we're going to have a photo shoot. If the press sees what charity I've done it'' will reflect well that my mother has raised a gentle and caring son."

"And why am I being used as a pawn to further your mother's success?"

"Because I gave you a makeover. Scratch that I gave you the opportunity not to die a virgin." I slap Min Ho sharp across the jaw

"You deserve the makeover." I point in his face "I may have been ugly on the outside, but you are far worse. Your insides are hideous, you're a slimy festering worm, a conglomerate of all things evil culminating on the insides." I punctuate most of my words with a poke to his chest. Slowly I back him into a wall.

"Woah what the hell is happening?" Dae questions

"This better not be another dream," I push the door open behind us

"Another dream?"

"(Y/n), you're drooling again?" Dae shakes my shoulder

"Fuck I need to get some sleep." I wipe my eyes "And not have a sex dream." and groan into a pillow

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You're continuously having sex dreams?" I hear Min Ho say from the kitchen.

"No,"

"Who are they about?"

"None of your business. Dae shouldn't you be home?"

"I was just about to leave, but you were groaning in your sleep. Are you alright."

"I'm fine. Go home Dae," I put a hand on his shoulder.

He seems ready to leave, picking up phis duffel and almost running out of the room.

"How did I end up here?"

"Q said you passed out after taking a hike with him at four in the morning. We didn't have your card so we couldn't get into your dorm."

"Wait wait wait, before we go any further, am I dreaming?"

"You just woke up?"

"Yeah well, I've been fooled before."

"you're awake. Oh how do you say to a photoshoot with me after chuseok?"

"Holy shit am I psychic? Or is this deja vu?"

"what are you talking about?"

"I swear I just had this conversation with you. But in my dream."

"Oh, so you are having sex dreams and dreaming about me?"

"Sorta, but in this last dream I was just yelling at you. You seemed kind of turned on by it." he rears back

"So you're having multiple sex dreams about me?" I sit up and tuck my knees in

"Sort of? I was talking to a friend and they said I should just try to make out with you to get out of my system."

"What, who said that?"

"I'm not going to reveal my sources."

"Well why don't you try and kiss me and get it out your system."

"Because that's gross."

"Well, you're the one who's dreaming about it."

"I should have never told you, I knew this would go poorly."

"If you don't kiss me, maybe I'll just kiss you."

"Oh brother," I drop my face into a nearby pillow

"What," he drags me back up by my shoulder. He smiles and it just feels magnetic

"That's something you would have said in those dreams. Something super cliche and Wattpad-y"

"Well, If I kiss you what will happen?"

"I don't know," I gasp as he leans with gently puckered lips. I put a hand on his collar and give him a gentle pushback. "And I don't want to find out. I don't think I'm emotionally mature enough to be ready for a relationship with you. You're very handsome, but I'm not ready to handle you the way you are. I'll see you at dinner tomorrow Min Ho." I get up and leave the dorm. I've learned from my dreams in several ways and picked up all my belonging after making a dramatic exit.

♨︎☤♨︎✄

I decided to catch up on my sleep. And man was I exhausted. I slept for almost 16 hours and woke up the next day. It was actual Chuseok day so I needed my head screwed on straight. I got out my mom's cookbook to get the maejakgwa recipe. Because my family couldn't get them fresh I was going to make two batches. Baking always takes my mind off everything. I get so focused on the details. The timer dings as I scrub some dishes and I pull the ginger cookies out of the oven.

They smell delicious.

I want to eat all of them.

I let the cookies cool down and find a fun box to package them. I try to write out a letter to my family but I end up sobbing onto the sheet of paper. Before I can get too emotional I text a hand delivery service and tell them that I need a box of cookies brought to my friends. I prepare the box and wait by the front entrance of the school. A man on a scooter collects the box with a smile. I return to the dorm and prepare my main dish.

My granny's muguk.

I had to buy beef broth because I didn't have the time to prepare true broth. while that boils I chop radish and scallions and then slice up the beef. The dorm swells with the smell of Granny's delicious soup. It's what reminds me that I have yet to eat breakfast. I throw the final seasonings in the pot and wash my hands.

There's not much in the fridge but I find two Chobani flips and guzzle them down. Then I take down a box of strawberries. I lower the heat on the soup and let it simmer for another hour. I spend that time getting ready for dinner. I find a big slouchy cardigan and a really cool long pleated skirt. I add a simple white tank top under the cardigan and match it with some white sneakers. That sense of rebellion rises and I keep my glasses on.

I give my hair a curl and clip some pieces back and put o a light layer of makeup on. The sun is starting to set so I pot my soup and bring it down to the common area. I run back up to my dorm and retrieve the cookies and when I return the hall is almost full of expats.

Unfortunately so are Professor Finnerty and Professor Lee are there as well. I have nothing against Professor Finnerty. He's handsome and understands the students better because he seems like he's fresh out of the womb. But, Professor Lee is too intense for my peers. I like him though. I see Kitty, Q and Min Ho pull up. They place down big bowls of food and everyone finds a seat to get situated.

"Kitty, why don't you make a toast?" Q pushed her up to stand

"Well, hello everybody this is my first Chuseok but I'm going to make sure it isn't my last." There's a scatter of giggles "I want to make this toast out to my mom. Wherever you are, I love you, Mom, Happy Chuseok!" we all cheer and clink our glasses together. I find my soup and take a healthy portion of my muguk. Then I get a scoop of white rice and some japchae.

I say thank you for the food and dig in. Someone brought a gallon of Arizona iced tea so I grab a cup when I burn my tongue on the beef. I meet Min Ho at the drink station

"Oh Hello, (Y/n)."

"Min Ho you look kind of sweaty," I reach up for his forehead and it feels clammy.

"I feel fine."

"Well, you have that date tonight, right?"

"Yeah, how did you-"

"I hear you bragging about it. Just here, "I dig around my sweater pockets and provid some pills. "You look like you may need some meds. Here's Dramamine for nausea, tums, if your stomach starts spinning and cramping. It's an anti-acid. And for general pain here's some Advil." I hand him three little bottles

"Oh, why are you giving me meds. If you saw I was sick wouldn't you love that my date be sabotaged?"

"What who do you think I am? If I ugh If I like someone I'm not gonna purposefully let them have a bad date so they can crawl into my arms. Here, get Lulu an ice cream I hear she likes strawberries."

"Actually we would need to get sorbet."

I return to the tasty Japchae and my muguk. I was enjoying it until someone brought up that Min Ho is the one who cooked it.

"You cooked this Min Ho?" I pulled my utensils from my face

"Yeah, it's my mum's recipe."

"Well, it's delicious." I give him a smile and take another bite "Could use some salt."

"Is this your soup?" He takes a small bowl and has a bite "Could use some pepper."

"Well, you should try my maejakgwa cookies. Maybe bring some to Lulu."

"come here," He stands up and grabs me by the elbow. I'm taken around a corner and pressed against the wall. "what are you doing?"

"What do you mean what am I doing?" I look into his eyes and shake his hand off

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Because I'm a nice person?"

"Well stop, you used to have so much fire why'd you give up?"

"Because you obviously like Lulu. And she's way prettier and better at dancing than I am. So just go on that date and have fun."

I get up on my toes and give him a kiss on the cheek.

I take a deep breath and I limp back to the table ad take the display of steamed dumplings and stuff a stack of napkins in my pocket. I have no thought process my body just moves to its only comfort. I begin blindly stuffing my face until there's no elasticity left in my cheeks. I continue this self-pitying tirade until Professor Lee slams on the table to get everyone to quiet down. I realize what I've done and leave the room.

On my out of the dining hall, I find a nearby garbage bin and spit out my cheek fulls of soft gyoza. Tears are already running down my cheeks from shame. I doubt more than two people were looking at me but my brain tells me my worst fears. Everyone was watching the 'used to be' fat loser cry and stock her cheeks with pork and chicken. I get one of those napkins from my pocket and wipe the corners of my mouth. When I spot and exit I slam the metal and glass door open and continue half-assed splits as cool air hits my reddened cheeks.

"(Y/n)? What are you doing out here?" Oh no, oh god no. I turn on my heel. easiest way to avoid your problems is to run from them "Wait (Y/n) Erg!" Min Ho's distresses gurgles quell my escape

"Are you alright?" I get closer to him"what the hell's wrong with you?"

"I think someone poisoned me."

"What!" I grab my phone and start dialing the poison helpline all while blubbering nonsense Min Ho

"No, I think someone poisoned me with dairy."

"Ohhh that's why you would get sorbet." I reach through my pocket but only find the empty paper cube where the Lactaid pill I took this morning sat. "Oh shit, just," I grab him around his arms and help him up the stairs where we connect with Kitty.

"Finally, you took your sweet time,"

"Wait, you texted Kitty for help?" I let go of his shoulders

"Yeah?"

"Alright," Min Ho's phone interupts me

"It's Lulu she just pulled in. Someone cover for me. But make her feel allured, make me interesting."

"I've got it." I look Kitty in the yes and she grabs onto his bicep and they waddle to a nearby bathroom. I spin on my heel and brace the outdoors.

"Who are you? Have you seen Min Ho?"

"No, Ive been texting him nonstop but he hasn't responded." Her eyes light up. I know it's because she knows min ho is blowing me off to test her "He was supposed to take me for sorbet at six but I guess he got us both."

"Really he double-booked me with you? But you're so, whatever. You tell Minnie that we're going to dinner and sorbet at six tomorrow. One night with me and he'll have no reason to be late again." She turn on her heel and get's back into her fancy private car.

I swallow a ball in my throat and march back up the steps. Kitty is waiting for me ad Min Ho emerges from the doors looking relaxed and refreshed.

"Sooooo?"

"You two have a date tomorrow at six, you're getting dinner and sorbet. make sure to bring a condom." I pat his shoulder with the hand holding my phone. I sway drunkenly back to my room and get undressed. I line up some skin care on the ledge of the bath while it fills with hot water. I fill the tub with confused tears as I take my makeup off and comb my soppy hair.

#xo kitty #kdrama #min ho x y/n #strangers to lovers #wet dream #enemies to lovers

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kylekozmikdeluxo · 1 year ago

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Special Interest Timeline: Retro Games

I'm on a retro games special interest kick, and in my previous post on said things, I talked about how - in the mid-aughts - I really got into games made in the 1970s and 1980s... In the early 2000s.

And I got my history a little messed up when writing about it, so I shall do... a timeline!

Mostly for my sake!

I'm one of those autistics who tries to keep a whole-ass timeline about my special interests... When I got into it, what got me into it, how long it took me to take the next step and discover more things about it, etc....

My love of retro games stemmed from a childhood of playing simplistic MS-DOS shareware games in the late '90s. Games off of floppy disks, like HUGO'S HOUSE OF HORRORS, COMMANDER KEEN 2, CRYSTAL CAVES, WORD RESCUE, CD-MAN (a PAC-MAN clone), SKI FREE, and more... I also forgot to mention that I had a hand-me-down NES in the '90s as well...

Again, going off of my previous post, I mentioned that it kinda starts in the early 2000s. I want to say approximately 2002/2003?

Christmas 2002: I get a GameBoy Advance and SUPER MARIO ADVANCE 2. SMA2 contains a really good port of SUPER MARIO WORLD, originally released in 1990, and an updated version of the 1983 arcade title MARIO BROS. I don't know if this necessarily kicks off the special interest, but it definitely plays a big part in it.

Late 2002/Early 2003: This is approximate. A guess. Around this time, I went to my local swimming pool every mid-week, or something like that, with my father. Afterwards, we'd stop for a bite at a nearby diner. They have a MS. PAC-MAN machine in the vestibule. One day, I watched someone doing really really good at the game. I'm reminded of the old DOS games I loved so much. Around this time, I was obsessed with what year a piece of media came out, so upon seeing the "copyright 1980, 1981" on the attract mode of the game, I had learned something new: Arcade games like that dated back to the 1980s.

Throughout 2003: Going to arcades wherever I went (i.e. bowling alleys, restaurants, etc.) and seeing at least one retro arcade game there. A lot of the time, it was one of those MS. PAC-MAN/GALAGA "Class of 1981" cabinets that were pretty new at the time.

Christmas 2003: I'm given two plug-n-play retro games collections... This is where it all *really* takes off...

The one on the left is the Jakks Pacific Namco set, which contains PAC-MAN, BOSCONIAN, RALLY-X, DIG DUG, and GALAXIAN. Pretty solid ports, all things considered. This I got on Christmas Eve, and I remember that night trying out all the games... And I played the living daylights out of this thing after that...

The one on the right was a bootleg, a Frankenstein's monster-like controller system concoction that were sold in malls and on QVC and the like. My grandmother got that one for me, and it contained a cartridge containing 84 various Famicom and NES games. These "Famiclones" were common back then and it was a side-market that only mutated over time. Luckily, this was one of the less egregious ones, and it had an assortment of NES games I couldn't get elsewhere. The hand-me-down NES we had no longer worked, so this was a worth substitute... Take out the cartridge, there's 10 built-in games that are basically Famiclones. Weird thrown-together 8-bit games of origin I'm unaware of at the moment.

Early 2004: Near my dad's place is a warehouse selling arcade machines and cocktail tables. While they didn't allow customers to play the games, they did - somehow - make an exception for me. I visited a few times and loved it, it was like paradise to my 11-year-old self. I'm sure the guy running the place wanted us OUT, haha.

Next... This is going to sound super-nerdy, but upon doing very well in a spelling bee around February/March and winning... A $200 gift card to... Circuit City! Yes, upon a winning that gift card, what do I buy? Retro game collections!

I believe I got NAMCO MUSEUM and MIDWAY ARCADE TREASURES on one of the shopping trips, in addition to the GameBoy version of NAMCO MUSEUM, PAC-MAN COLLECTION, and KONAMI COLLECTOR'S SERIES: ARCADE ADVANCE.

I visit the website System 16 and KLOV (Killer List Of Video Games) quite frequently, too.

Also around this time, I get my hands on an Atari collection for the PC called ATARI ANNIVERSARY EDITION. I also receive a book called THE ULTIMATE HISTORY OF VIDEO GAMES by Steven L. Kent.

SUPER MARIO ADVANCE 2 is in regular rotation around this time.

Fall-Christmas 2004: For my birthday and Christmas, I get...

ATARI ANTHOLOGY for the XBOX, and another Jakks Pacific Namco collection, this time including MS. PAC-MAN, MAPPY, GALAGA, XEVIOUS, and POLE POSITION. I also get this fantastic coffee table book by Rusel DeMaria and Johnny L. Wilson:

I'll cap it off here, but this is where it peaks, and I'm all about these kinds of things from here on out.

#retro games #retro video games #light nostalgia #reminiscing #autistic #special interest #autism #neurodivergent #making my special interest INTO a special interest

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hekate1308 · 1 year ago

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And That Special Quiet On Christmas Morn, A Destiel Advent Calendar, December 6

Read it on AO3

Masterpost

At first, Dean, in this new weird part of his life, didn’t realize that no one could hear Castiel but him. This was mostly because the painting only ever talked when they were alone, probably because he didn’t want to shock anyone else the way he had Dean. But then Sam came to visit, as he often did in the evenings.

“Are you still working?”

“I was just finishing up” he told him honestly. He was very aware that otherwise, Sam would have told him off. He had already been quite angry when he had heard about the roof since he had seen it as another proof that Dean didn’t pay enough attention to what had to be done when he was in his workshop.

As he put his tools away, he looked at Castiel and wondered if he should introduce them, but he took the decision away from him when he said, “Hello, Sam.”

He didn’t react. Dean looked at the painting again, but there was nothing he could do about it. Sam couldn’t hear him which most likely meant no one else could either.

He was very aware that this was another point in favour ofd the losing his mind theory, but on the other hand, his brother clearly hadn’t noticed anything amiss, and he was the one who knew him best, so he probably didn’t have to be too worried yet.

So he continued to be the only one Castiel had ever spoken to, that was something he supposed. He threw him another glance.

“You do not have to apologize”.

Castiel might not have known much about how the world worked, but he got Dean. It was a really weird thought, especially because he’d rarely clicked with people like that in real life.

“Dean?”

He shook his head. “Sorry. Was thinking about stuff.”

“You work too much.”

And of coruse said old discussion would rear its head.

“You really do spentd a lot of time ihere.”

And now Casti9el was in on it, too. Wonderful. Sam would have appreciated it if he could have heard him.

“I have orders, and the Christmas market is coming up.”

“As if you don’t have enough stuff already.”

“Still… wouldn’t want to disappoint people.”

“Dean, you’ve never disappointed anyone in your life.”

It was one of those things that Sam now and then said that made him uncofmrotabel so he didn’t reply anything, chosing to focus on putting the rest of his toold away.

“And you’re sure the roof is fixed?”

“You know Crowley, he wouldn’t bring anyone but the best.”

Sam frowned, but that was nothing new – his brother nad friend had never gotten along, as a matter of fact, Sam kept telling him that Crowley was sure to eventually go full supervillain because he didn’t get him.

“Woulödn’t let me pay” Dean therefore continued.

He would say that – it was always fun to see Sam struggle to comprehend that Crowley could do a decent thing if he wanted to. “That was nice of him” he forced out.

“Yes, well, mostly I wiush he wouldn’t keep doing that kind of stuff. He just shows up, does what he wants, and leaves.”

“Isn’t that how Crowley operates?”

He shrugged. “I suppose. Anyway, want a beer?”

As they left the workshop, he had to suppress the urge to tell Castiel goodbye, as he had grown used to over the past fgew days.

He really was going insane, wasn’t he.

And yet, after he’d handed Sam his beer, his brother said, “You look well.”

He couldn’t help but blink at him before saying, “I am?”

“That’s not what I meant. You don’t look so run down.”

Once more, he didn’t knbow what to say. “Well, I’m having fun. You know I love my jobn. And Christmas is coming up.”

Sam’s eyes softened. “I know.”

Thesy wer esilnet for a moment as they both remembered the Christmases of their early years that perhaps should not have been called Christmases in the first place. Dean had always tried his hardest to make sure that Sam got a few presents, not that this meant much when one was only seven years old and didn’t understand why one’s dad wouldn’t just go out and get them a tree…

Well, they always had one now, and a big party because if you asked Dean, he had earned that much, and so far people had never complained.

He suddenly wondered what they would say if he announced that he had a magical painting, but decided it was not a good idea.

“Anyway, so what are you up to? I assume there’s another very complicated case you have to deal with.”

“You know that’s not how it works.”

“Close nough for me.”

Sam gave him a bitch face and Dean laughed.

#my writings #destiel #castiel #dean winchester #advent calendar

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bitbrumal · 2 years ago

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QUESTION ↤ @galactia :: 👫 + our ship & i’ll give you 4 facts ↩

‘👫 (Zhong and Kaeya? ;D)’

i hate u ( affectionate ) for sending me this bc istg i TRIED to just write 4 snappy points but kaeya’s everything in response to zhongli is so juicy i kept writing whole posts on his psyche. i cut that shit & it’s still long as balls. this could have been about goddamn pancakes but i wanted to dig deeper & then it went too deep & now-

kaeya goes out of his way to have possessions, tokens, or even parts of zhongli to physically entwine with him especially in his absence. the man’s generous in his affections, but the distance between them is generous too. whether it be braiding brown & gold into his own blue, voluntarily gifted- donning the fine robe zhongli had gifted him around christmas- piercing his ear a second & third time to wear cor lapis as close to inside him as is medically reasonable. yes he eyes zhongli’s personal possessions when he’s over. yes he leaves his own most intimate ones when he leaves.

II.

although kaeya’s never bothered to learn to love anything, he’s so enamoured that he will try his best to enjoy bamboo shoot soup. it’s just... he hates bamboo.

III.

frequently breaks his brain over what to gift zhongli, & is RomanticTM enough to feel like,,, maybe to a man who sees how feral & rotten hollow he is about the concept of ‘love’... perhaps his heart is finally a fitting gift? but then that seems stupid, so kaeya silently makes use of his inheritance & designs something achingly lovely. its weight & texture will be pleasant to the touch; the picture it makes a delight for the eyes. kaeya’s incredibly embarrassed about the wall of but i want my heart to be the gift he wants that continually gets in the way of any of these feats. just seems a bit rude to consider that burnt out husk of a heart an appropriate return gift.

IV.

zhongli’s endless dignity is the feathery lure to kaeya’s naughty, shameless cat behaviour. he gives exactly zero fucks about the man / god’s reputation--( since he’s fully convinced he can handle whatever's thrown at him anyway )--& will proceed to drag his own through the mud by smacking the man’s ass when he’s in the middle of a conversation, climbing him like a tree as they stroll through the market, snuggling up to him like a well-fed alley cat, & generally be affectionate in all the silly physical ways better suited to privacy. naturally, he has no intentions of actually crossing any real boundaries - just the ✨annoying✨ ones~~.

[ classified redacted essay under the cut. ]

zhongli brings him a sense of belonging that outstrips the cold, horrible confidence that he’ll always be allowed back with his first ‘family’. a kindness that is fair, just, & lacks the blind willingness to sell himself cheap that diluc had had as a boy ( & possibly still has ). he brings an authority to the table that is more competent & dignified than varkas’, or all the current captains manning the ship in his wake combined. warmer than diluc by being less intense- & cold in warmth’s excess -than heat. more tempered-- hasn’t drawn a blade on him, fine, we’ll say it. he comes with a stability that kaeya has never experienced - a sort of security that no doubt comes in part from his faux endlessness. but it’s the way he goes about being a person that grants someone in his company all these boons. it’s a shockingly ravenous thing. hadn’t known it could be this luxurious- just being around someone. is it less shallow for being more personal? or can he not say he loves him deeply, hah.

kaeya, in comparison, is only beneficial to be around when under duress. his qualities are mainly feigned so as to be wanted around long enough to do some benefiting himself. he tries very hard not to do that around zhongli unless he’s been too much of a bore. depression is a buzz kill.

II.

there is a special way zhongli clicks into his trauma & unlocks it, lets it flow freely 'away’. because much of kaeya’s terror toward him is direct. it’s morax he’s afraid of; one of celestia’s approved archons, one of those who fought in the war ( even if kaeya has apparently, deliciously / gratefully, misunderstood how )... all his life kaeya has been terrified because he now lives within the ‘eye of the seven’ or whatever. it could not be confronted with absent barbatos... even if kaeya after a few years deliberately went to a statue of him to see if he would, perhaps, be punished for existing some more. but zhongli not only allowed him to face & process his terror, he... despite kaeya having definitely not earned himself any points with a gentle, self-deprecating tone - by being forgiving, by blaming himself, by making it easy for rex lapis... being charming, being nice, being manipulative-

he was allowed to hate & grieve & claw.

zhongli could have done actually anything. & continues to be able to. but does not. & not only is that true, but he makes a massive fucking point out of it. kaeya never asked to be healed. he wanted to be dealt with, to be done with it all. if he had to fear something he had no hope at all to control- kill me or yield to me. the dragon does neither,.. fairly, kindly, honestly. wouldn’t stand for false accusations but stood for anything else-

the best man he’s ever met is a god & he’s furious about it. or perhaps, perhaps he’s just- perhaps this is another kind of passion. ah, yes -- all that hatred ( & boy is there hatred ) transmuted into love. recontextualised by the mind yet, stemming from the same generous part of the brain.

it is the strongest emotion kaeya can give, & it is breathtaking to be proud to gift it to him.

my condemner, love me whole.

III.

kaeya is a little worried he’s just met a god so kind he’s... in a relationship founded on pity. but zhongli continues to be kind & open, & while it is impossible not to doubt - it is shockingly hard to have no reason to believe in something far too good to be true.

it’s just that kaeya trusts in vulnerability & cruelty, & the balance makes some sense. he could be strung along for a greater payoff later -- but kaeya has met one other impossibly kind man. even if they no longer speak. diluc made it possible at all for him to believe something like this, but that’s not anywhere near enough. zhongli-

#galactia #kaeya ✦ galactia #hc ✦ kaeya

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pitbullwithaship · 10 months ago

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DOCTOR WHO LIVEBLOG S4 EP14 (2008 CHRISTMAS SPECIAL)

Okeydoke, time to watch some more doctor who!!! And hopefully not get my heart ripped out for a few more episodes at least!

This snow in front of the camera looks weird

Ooh Christmas Market!

He still looks so happy about the fact that humans exist

Omg

ALLONS-Y!!

He's very egotistical

Wow they really are the same person

This is hilarious very slapstick

Hysterical laughter

Hello Rosita

reALLY

That was all very weird

Sexist dude, that's nice

This is all very weird

OOH FOBWATCH

Okay not that kind of fobwatch

Oh that's a cool projector thing

Okay he's very sad and lost

OHkay yeah that's my reaction too

Dab Hand lol

Aw Doctor is so comforting for his future him

Okay red at a wedding that's not nice of her

Ooh okay she's exposing them

Ooh the cybermen have dogs now I guess

Ooh her first name is Mercy!!!

TARDIS AIR BALLOON

Why are they taking children eh

OMG IS THE DOCTOR2 JACKSON LAKE

HE IS HOLY COW

Ooh old Dr Who footage

I spy Eccleston

Oh shit he lost his family aww that's so sad

Suppression of traumatic memory

That's a lot of info

WHY do they need CHILDREN

Mercy lady is very bitter

CAN I SAY I completely disapprove lol

That was in fact a great punch

Poor kids

King is gender neutral

Have you no pity!? CORRECT

OH COOL SHE GETS ALL BLACK EYES

WHY CAN SHE SEE THE TIME VORTEX

Mercy is evil yes, but she is badass

Those muppetdogs sure are weird

DID HE HAVE A SON HE DID OH SHIT

YAY SAVE THE LITTLE BOY

SWINGS

Okay now they need to get out

Oh man that's a big cyberman

WHY DO THEY NOT REJOICE WHY DO YOU THINK

No the doctor does mot have a reason to live thank you for recognizing that he is in fact suicidal as hell

OOH THEY GET TO RIDE THE HOT AIR BALLOON

Normal eyes again

Oh poor girl

Oh good he had a plan to stop it from falling

Awww they're cheering for him

He looks so caught off guard awww

Adorable all of it

He gets to see the real Tardis!!

Aww he lonely without Donna

YOU BREAK MY HEART DOCTOR

They're so cute im screaming

#doctor who #liveblogging #david tennant #tenth doctor #s4 ep14

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familyofpebbles · 1 year ago

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Rothenburg ob der Tauber - December 2021

Robert planned a surprise birthniversary weekend trip for us! We bundled into the car and set off to Rothenburg ob der Tauber- the most romantic little preserved European town. It’s known for its entirely preserved and intact city walls as well as its markets and decorations for Christmas! We’d been wanting to go for a while.

We had no itinerary, just the freedom to explore the town, soak in the Christmas vibes, and get snacks and gluhwein along the way. We went into the teddy bear shop (Rothenburg has many specialties) and vowed to come back another time to get a couple for our kids (and maybe one for me… they’re so cute and soft!)

Then, the famous Christmas store Käthe Wohlfahrt. You line up to enter, and wind your way through little mini animatronic villages of little animals, before emerging into a Christmas Market style hall of every Christmas ornament and decoration you can think of. Just as you think it must be ending, you come out onto a balcony overlooking an entire indoor villiage, with twinking lights everywhere, rows of little houses, and a massive white Christmas tree in the middle to top it off. It was so pretty! We picked up two ornaments- a little gnome and a fluffy white owl, who we named Obder and Tauber, respectively.

We continued to wander our way through town as the light started to fade and warm light began to emanate from shop windows, accompanied by street performers on violin and twinkling lights. We wandered in and out of shops and found one with a bunch of art and old postcards, which we bought a small selection of and framed. In another square with an old glowing carousel at the center, we found a tightly packed antique shop to paw through. From there, we brought home an old kukri knife and a pretty rainbow glass edelweiss pendant necklace. It was dark by then, and we were getting cold, so off to dinner.

You had picked a fancy place, which often is hit or miss for us, but this one was definitely a hit! Cozy relaxed interior, delicious wine, the best pumpkin soup, pasta, and a whole cheese board for your main course! And of course, the best continuous conversation that can only be had with the best of friends.

We began the next day with my favorite kind of simple German breakfast, and tried a Rothenburg special- a schneeball (not as good as anticipated but very aesthetically pleasing). We dipped inside a restaurant for some gluhwein to walk with and saw that they had a whole shelf of Gutman glasses, and being the social-anxiety-less person that you are, you asked if you could buy one and they said yes. Score!

We of course had to walk the walls before we left. We climbed up a tower onto the walkway and began our stroll, doing a little celebratory Tower Dance every time we made it to another. (Hands in the air, hop in a circle while chanting “Tower tower tower!” Not sure how that one started hehe) We walked until we needed to warm up, and descended at the next set of stairs, just deciding to wander until we found an inviting looking café.

This we found- small and cozy in a very old building, set up like someone’s large living and dining room. We had cake and tea with rum and it was fully stomach and soul warming. The perfect spot to wrap up our magical little Christmas town trip in.

We enjoyed our roadtrip home together, and put up our new ornaments on our Christmas tree.

I love Christmas, and I love you.

0 notes

samueldays · 2 years ago

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🤔

I feel like you're stretching your thesis too far in different directions for the sake of salt.

Mutants & Masterminds is very broadly speaking in the d20 family, in that it uses a d20 for resolution, but it's not published by Wizards, and plays differently from D&D or Pathfinder as a system. (No levels, no classes, no hitpoints.) It is another great RPG that I hope people look into.

It's over a decade since I last played Amber Diceless. The system is three decades old. Now it might be marketed by the sort of douchebags you mention, but it strikes me as anachronistic to say it was made by them, because that reaction to d20 systems had hardly formed at the time, and where it had formed I seem to recall it was mostly going into White Wolf: the Subtitleing World of Darkness games.

I deny the elegance of Pathfinder. It's a maze of twisty little tables, obscure rules that people ignore, Christmas Tree magic items, learning nothing from 3.5 CharOp, misc bits of bad design, and extremely weak options. Powerful Sneak is my pet example of Pathfinder design so dubious it makes me suspect a writer failed maths: what if Power Attack, but it only applies to full attacks, and it only applies to sneak attacks, (the intersection of those is already a horrendous circumstances limitation!) and even then you'd often be taking -2 attack for +0 damage because the benefit is randomized, and the average benefit is a whopping 1 damage per 12 rogue levels. When a rogue gains a Talent and could choose Powerful Sneak, she may instead choose a feat. Powerful Sneak competes with Power Attack and loses badly.

The core idea of "d20 for most things" is elegant, yes, but M&M does it better, ditching the d4s and d8s.

In the other corner is Traveller which has an elegant 2d6 resolution system, fewer magic items, and more random tables. The random tables are really good. Might not be to everyone's taste, but I love them. Even when picking rather than rolling, in order to match PC interests and previously revealed setting elements, they're great inspiration. Special shoutout to Traveller for having a better shadowrun generation table than Shadowrun itself does. :^) Traveller has the "nobody knows it" issue but part of the point here is looking into other systems in order to know them, surely.

Possibly the stupidest reaction to the Wizards license shenanigans was the idiots who said “Oh now I hope people will look into all the other great RPGs”.

But…there aren’t any. The only other RPG system worthy of mention in the same breath as d20 without a sneer or at least an embarrassed laugh is Storyteller, and it’s not for remotely the same kind of game. Something like GURPS, BRP, or Megaversal is just “d20 but clunkier and nobody knows it”. Something like Fate or Amber Diceless not only has the “nobody knows it” issue but also is almost explicitly marketed to and made by douchebags who think they’re too good for d20.

I don’t want to play those games. I don’t even want to play 2e Pathfinder or 4e D&D. I want to play a system that marries detail with elegance, that’s not so concerned with “balance” that no class is really unique. And for that, something in the d20 family—Pathfinder for sword and sorcery, True20 for basically any other genre—has absolutely no competition.

Maybe Kobold Press’s thing they’re working on will do it, though since they seem to be touting it as for people who like 5e, I doubt I’ll get the detail without sacrificing elegance that draws me to Pathfinder 1e, and they’ll probably go the samey-samey route (goddamn wizards have the same attack progression as barbarians?!). Oh well. Guess I’ll have to do it myself.

#all #thinking #rpg #tabletop

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selfcarecap · 3 years ago

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Friends [p.p]

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Summary: You ask Peter for a very special favour that changes everything for your friendship.

Warnings: first time sex, overall loads of smut (18+), Peter and Ned being confused by female anatomy, Ned rapping Nicki Minaj, Dumb bitch Peter™️ (but what’s new?), language, maybe a bit of angst but a happy ending ;), looads of awkwardness, mentions of Christmas lmao but not as a religious thing they just go to a Christmas market (i didn’t know what else to call it)

Word count: 11.5k damn

A/N: Okay, this was actually so much fun to write, I’ve been thinking about this for months and I finally got around to it (Watch this get like 7 notes, either way I enjoyed it!), also this is mostly Peter’s POV! -- Including the original a/n aw, also the pov is inconsistent af

-this is a repost of an old fic- (yes it used to be called "friends" but the " annoyed me lmaooo)

“So... I’ve been thinking..”

That’s always how it starts.

Peter already knows what this means. He knows this look on your face and with the way you coquettishly glance over your shoulder, it means you want something. You’ve got a vague (totally not vague, but very detailed) idea and you’re sure you want to do it, you just need a partner. And that partner usually turns out to be Peter.

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to do-”

He can tell you’re a little nervous; because the idea might be a little crazy and you’re scared Peter isn’t going to want to do this with you.

“And I wanted to ask if you want to join me?”

But every time he’s seen this look on you so far was only moments before some of his favourite memories with you. So he knows your idea is probably as awesome as always.

“I… want to have sex, for the first time, and I was going to ask if you want to.. do that with me?”

“Yeah let’s do— wait what?”

The shock is evident on Peter’s face.

He sits up next to you on your bed, so you’re both at the same level and he can see your expression properly.

And you’re completely serious, nervous though. Suddenly you feel a little shy sitting so close to Peter, but the size of your bed won’t allow you to scoot further away.

You’ve been friends with Peter for a while. Very good friends, you may add. And you trust Peter with all your being.

It’s just that you’ve never really been a sexual person, or at least not talked to Peter about sex. There was never an occasion where it came up and you had no reason to tell him about your so far only solo and literally single-handed sex life.

And for Peter, it’s not that he would really want to talk to you about his... sexy thoughts - but only because they often involve you and he feels bad because of it. But he can’t control his thoughts and dreams- oh god the dreams he’s had about you.

You finally want to have sex and get it over with - the famously painful first time at least. So of course the person you trust most is the first person you’d go to.

“Uh, yeah, I mean I don’t know, why do you want to do that all of a sudden?”

Peter’s previously only ever immediately agreed to your crazy ideas so him asking questions means he already doesn’t want to do it.

“Nevermind, don’t worry Peter you don’t have to, I’m sure I’ll find someone else.” You shrug and look down at your phone, a bit disappointed but you’re in no way going to force him.

“NO!” He clears his throat - Peter does not want you having sex with anyone else, especially if you’d offered him first. “I mean, uh, no I just mean tell me about it more.” He really doesn’t want you to know he’s kind of losing his shit here, thinking about having sex with you.

“Well, yeah - like I said, I want to have my first time and, I wanted to ask if you wanted to have sex with me.. in order to, you know, do that.. and yeah.”

Okay, Peter had understood you right, you want to have sex with him? Hell fucking yeah

Don’t seem too excited though, he tells himself, be cool.

“Okay, so, yeah - but why all of a sudden?” He repeats.

“No, I’ve been thinking about it for a long time actually - just to get it out of the way if I’m honest. I know virginity, or losing your virginity, is quite a big thing in this society, which I personally don’t agree with… for me it just isn’t. But the first time will most likely hurt, but I just really want to have sex.”

You just want to have sex? Yeah cool Peter can do that.

If Peter’s honest, he has thought about asking you the same thing quite a few times.

Mainly after you convinced him to watch the latest Netflix rom-com/chick flick (to be honest, he enjoys them too) where two best friends become lovers.

But then he’d be reminded that that was only in a film and not real and he never dared to ask you.

On the other hand, he is Spider-Man and an Avenger, and although that still doesn’t seem real to him sometimes - maybe that could show him that everything is possible.

You continue, “And I know there are other girls .. and guys of course, who do think of virginity as something special and that’s cool for them but for me personally it’s nothing emotional. Have.. have you had sex before?”

Tell the truth or not tell the truth? It’s you, the truth of course. And he’s sure you already know the answer anyway.

“No, I haven’t.”

“See, that’d be cool- I mean only if you want of course, then we’d both have our first times with someone we actually like and can trust, you know to be gentle and go slow and all that stuff. Then we can go on having sex with other people without the commitment of them being your first and we won’t have absolutely zero percent experience!” You conclude, now a bit more relieved that you weren’t wrong and you can count on Peter even with something like this. (Again though, if he didn’t want to, then that would be his choice which you’d respect.)

“Wait what? Other people?” You notice easily how Peter’s face falls and his whole demeanour changes.

“Oh? Haven’t I mentioned? There’s this guy, and let’s just say he’s made it more than clear that he wants to have sex with me - anytime I want, you know, like an offer. An offer that I definitely want to take up. It’s just that I want to be able to enjoy it without the pain that I’ll presumably have the first time, or first few times even.”

“Ummm, no you haven’t mentioned. So you want to have sex with me only to have sex with another guy?” He might be a little obvious with his jealousy now, but asking him what you’re asking right now is a pretty big deal. To him, at least.

“Well, when you say it like that it sounds a bit... look, have you not been listening to what I’m saying? And don’t worry, Peter, if you don’t want to you don’t have to do anything, I’ll find someone else - forget I ever said anything.”

“No! I - just.. this is all a bit sudden, just give me a few days to think, okay?”

“Sure.” You nod.

“Oh- and do not lose your virginity to someone else while I’m still thinking!” He adds.

“I won’t,” you laugh, “don’t worry - take all the time you need.”

Peter has to think thoroughly and hard about this. Have sex with you? Abso-fucking-lutely.

But then you having sex with another guy? No. Just nope.

What if Peter‘s just going to win you over with his sex skills? Yup, he’ll just do that.

There is just one more thing he requires: those ‘sex skills’, but how hard can it be to make a girl feel good?

“What the hell is a clitoris?” Peter asks Ned the next day during their study session.

“Peter… What? That doesn’t sound like physics? But I think I’ve heard about it? Doesn’t Nicki Minaj say it in that one song?”

“Ned- What? I don’t know if Nicki Minaj says it in her song. And a g-spot? Is that the same thing?” Peter’s beyond confused by the Google results.

But Ned’s too busy rapping to himself, some very inappropriate lyrics, but on the other hand, that might be exactly what he needs.

“I said just lick on the clitoris, uh, don’t fucking bite it. I ride his- Oh yeah! That’s it!”

“Okay and what exactly does it mean?”

“Dude, I don’t know, you’re not supposed to bite a girl’s clitoris but rather lick it. Oh. Ew.”

“What do you mean ew?” Peter’s looking dreamily into the distance, just thinking about you, thinking about sex with you and Ned recognises the look immediately.

“Wait is this about her? You mean the girl you’ve so hopelessly fallen in loooove with and won’t stop talking about? Your other best friend, next to me of course? No, no idea who you’re talking about.” Ned answers.

“Shut up I’m not in loooove,” he mimics Ned’s tone “I just like her okay? And she asked me if I want to have sex with her..”

“You serious?” Ned high fives him with an enthusiastic smile on his face, “Congrats, dude! Have you done it yet?”

“No, no! That’s why I’m googling. You see - by the way you don’t know about any of this, I don’t think she wants you to know - she says she wants me to be her first time, so far so good, right?” Peter explains and Ned nods with every word he says, excited for his best friend. “Okay, but then she says she wants to have sex with this other dude? Like, I don’t even know who she was talking about, but-“

“Brad Davis.” Ned interrupts Peter, absolutely sure.

“What? Why Brad Davis? He’s together with MJ isn’t he?”

“Okay, but all the girls still like him. So she probably does too.”

“No, Ned, for once it’s not Brad Davis! Well anyway. She wants me to be her first, but then she wants to have sex with this other guy. But I thought if I found out how to, you know, make a girl feel good and ultimately make her feel good she’d just want to stay with me?”

“Okay, let’s tackle this clitoris!”

“No, not tackle. Lick.” Peter comments and they both laugh, still not knowing what they’re even talking about.

Once again, Peter realises what a good friend Ned is. He knows that the probability of making you feel so mind-blowingly good that you stay with him forever and just because of that is quite small, but Ned still believes him and is even helping him.

“Okay I think I know what the clitoris is now, is that the same thing as a G-Spot?”

Ned clicks on a website as he talks to Peter. Hours have gone by while they’ve tried to figure out the mysteries of the female anatomy.

Ned makes an indescribable noise when he sees the diagram on the computer-screen in front of him.

“Uh, Peter, come look at this?” He says, sounding a bit helpless.

“Oh” Peter doesn’t know what to say either. “I mean I’ve watched porn but I’ve never seen it... quite like this...?”

They both cock their heads to the side synchronically as they stare at the picture in front of them.

“How am I supposed to know what the clitoris is? Is it that?” He puts his finger on the screen.

“No, Peter. That is the labia minora. Duh.”

Peter scoffs at Ned’s tone. “You just have sex with her then, if you know so well.”

“Peter, you know I love you but this is too much for me. My innocent, virgin eyes have seen enough,” he clicks the ‘x’ button in the corner of the computer “There was this website before, and it said to just ask her what she likes. To me that sounds like the easiest way of doing it anyway.”

“Just ask her what- okay ... that- that does sound quite reasonable actually...”

“Yeah it was Teen Vogue or something. Anyway, I gotta go home now! Text me if it’s Brad Davis!”

“It’s not!” Peter calls after Ned who’s leaving his place, thanking him for his help that might’ve left him traumatised.

Peter has to admit, communication is very important and often the key to many things.

He goes to bed after reading about twenty more Teen Vogue articles - only three about sex and how communication is apparently the only knowledge you need for your first time (- and seventeen articles finding out what Fenty Beauty is, what Disney Character he is based on his zodiac sign (Elsa from Frozen) and a whole article about Dua Lipa’s best looks that this journalist was clearly obsessed with.

He’ll definitely have to buy you one of those Fenty Lipglosses, Peter knows how much you love all your glossy, sticky lip products and how you love Rihanna, because how can one not?)

(And then he watched some guy performing Rihanna’s Umbrella on stage and at first it was very awkward to watch but got better with each second.)

He tries to sleep. He tries. But what if communication isn’t enough? What if you’re embarrassed about something or don’t want him doing more work than necessary? His sex game has to be on point. He really doesn’t want to lose you to that other guy... He has to make that one time count. Or the first few times - as you said.

So Peter spends at least three hours watching a whole ass documentary on the female orgasm on Netflix, and reading countless things on the internet.

When he finally feels satisfied (which is also how you’ll feel after he has sex with you, he’s sure of it) with his new-found knowledge he goes to sleep.

When he wakes up he immediately feels excited.

He can now tell you that, yes, he does want to have sex with you. He’ll be cool about it. Of course he won’t tell you about all his late night googling, he wants you to think that he’s just some natural born sex-god.

He basically knows everything there is to know - g-spot, clit, possible squirting, fingering, giving head. Then there’s the thing - practice makes perfect and he has none of that. But it’s going to be your first time as well, so he hopes your expectations can’t be too high.

“Is it Brad Davis?” Is the first thing he blurts out when he sees you the next day at your college. You basically laugh in his face when he says that.

When you’re finally finished laughing, much to his relief, you kind of strike a nerve. “Isn’t he with MJ now? You still mad at him for stealing your high school crush?”

“First of all it was middle school. It was ages ago... and no..”

What kind of annoys Peter is the smirk on your face as you mentioned MJ. You didn’t have a reason to - he had been over her for ages - but weren’t you jealous? Not at least a teeny-tiny-bit?

Peter knows you don’t like him like that. But you obviously like him enough to have sex with him, so wouldn’t it bother you if he had a crush? And then he remembered his own jealousy, did he want to ask about the other guy?

“So you’ve been thinking about my.. offer?” You ask, not wanting to push him but curious as the answer is obviously yes.

“Um, yeah. The answer is yes.” He tells you and you give him a bright smile that he didn’t expect.

“Do you want to come to mine after school and we can... talk more about it?” You suggest and you quickly arrange a time to meet this afternoon.

Holy cow. Peter is going to have sex. Peter is going to have sex with you. Peter is going to have sex with you and he’s going to make you come. Hopefully. Yes, he knows it. He has to. Woah.

“So you’re sure you want to?”

“Yes absolutely. I’ve just got a question? Who exactly is this guy that you want to have sex with?”

“Oh, well. He’s a friend of a friend, he’s finished with college already and I met him during the summer holidays. We met once before but we never really talked and he’s just.. I quite like him and he’s really hot you know?

Well basically, we obviously didn’t do anything but it was clear that we liked each other. Before he left town, he said he’d be back during the winter holidays to visit and we made some... arrangements. We’ve been texting as well. Of course he’s busy with starting his first job after college, but yeah. It’s not going to be anything serious. It’s not like either of us want a long distance relationship. But I really want him. And like I said he’s made it clear that he wants me too so....”

You rant and he listens with a heavy heart.

Although there is a good thing about this; he’s got until the winter holidays. That is so many weeks, he can win you over, if not with his pleasure skills then he’ll find another way.

The bad thing: the guy’s real. He didn’t just imagine you saying that. And you seem to really like him. But you also seem to like Peter - not in the same way, but hey, he has hope.

Somehow Peter had thought that maybe, just maybe he’d imagined the other guy existing. That he’d dreamt that part and you really just wanted to lose your virginity and chose Peter to have sex with.

But Peter will not give up. Never. Not when it comes to you. (And when he makes you cum.)

“Right.” He responds with a tight-lipped smile, “So... are we gonna have sex now?” He leans forward.

“What? No not now. Peter, I’ve never even kissed anyone. I thought maybe... we could start kissing, and then we kind of... find out what we like and how this whole thing works and every time we see each other we can move a little further?” You suggest, getting closer to him.

“O-okay, cool.” He stutters and you’re right in front of him, so close he can see the twinkle in your eyes and feel your breath against his.

You stop moving towards him only for a second, you look into his eyes and after a shaky breath that lets him know he’s not the only nervous one, you close the gap between the two of you.

It’s just a peck at first but butterflies explode in his stomach.

You do it again and again and again until the kisses last longer, your hands around his neck and his fingers squeezing your waist ever so gently, comforting.

“Sh-should we stop?” Your voice is raspy and you clear your throat, “I-I’m not ready to do anything yet but I don’t want to make this uh... harder for you.” You point to his lap that you’re nearly straddling, your lip between your teeth and it’s then that Peter realises he’s at least semi-hard.

“Oh-I-I’m sorry I didn’t-!” He covers himself and gets up to quickly disappear into the bathroom, but you stop him with words that only make him more excited, “Don’t be embarrassed, you’re not the only one who enjoyed it..” He watches you absentmindedly bite your finger to distract yourself and rearrange your position on the bed slightly flustered.

Not a bad start.

You give him another smile before he takes care of his situation in the bathroom.

That’s all you do for the first few weeks, making out.

And it’s not even weird. Which is weird.

You were just friends, and you still are just friends, but even the first kiss didn’t feel awkward or out of place.

But you have other friends, and you’re sure kissing them would be weird to say the least.

Although that can probably easily be attributed to the fact that you trust Peter so much and it’s a mutual decision you made, both equally inexperienced and new to this whole thing.

But you do it a lot and you’re both really getting the hang of it.

You’ve noticed how much Peter enjoys when you tug at his hair every now and then, and he seems to have realised that you like when his tongue licks your lower lip. Which is what he’s doing right now.

He pulls back for a moment, your arms still around his neck and holding him close to you.

“Um, Peter…” You’re not sure if you can tell him yet… should you?

Before you can decide, it seems like Peter also has something to tell you.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you something…” He pauses briefly to look at your kiss swollen lips (especially your lower one) and dilated pupils and he would love to just eat you up (which you yet have to give him permission to and he’ll wait as long as you want) and he’s afraid that what he’s about to tell you will make you want him to eat you up less..

But just the thought of having sex with you, overall being physically so close to you, and you not knowing about his secret doesn’t sit quite right with him.

“Is it anything bad..?” You wonder and pull your sleeves over your fingers, but your arms stay comfortably around him so you can look into his eyes directly.

He rubs his eye and looks at the pillow next to you instead of in your eyes and says, “I’m Spider-Man.”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah, I can show you if you don’t-” He points to his backpack but you stop him from getting up.

“No, I believe you, I believe you. So that’s the thing you’re always so secretive about, always randomly disappearing and stuff?”

“I mean I thought I was being subtle but yes. Obviously you can’t speak to anyone about it, also, Ned knows but he only found out by accident.” Peter explains and you’re a bit relieved.

“Of course not,” you bite your lip, ”And I really appreciate that you told me… so Spider-Man, huh?” He blushes when you get up and on top of him so you’re in his lap now.

“That is quite cool.” You kiss him again but even before he can properly kiss you back, you’re pulling back again.

“Wait..but that means you get into fights and stuff?” You’re pouting and Peter just wants to kiss it better.

“Well yes, but usually I’m the winner, you know?” His hands find your waist and he looks rather cocky for once but you’re still not having any of it.

“I’m sure you are but you have to promise to be careful, okay?”

You make him pinky promise and tell you, while looking into your eyes, that he’ll be careful.

“So you don’t…” He starts.

“What?”

“Like me any less?” He continues.

“Why would I like you less now that I know you’re Spider-Man and you… literally save people every day?”

“I don’t know I just…” Maybe he’s just nervous around you and wants you to like him. Maybe he’s too nervous around you. You might not be in love with him (yet) but he really needs to stop being so insecure when clearly there’s no reason to be.

You give him a small smile and wrap your arms around him.

Much to both your enjoyment, you’re kissing again and you’re becoming increasingly aware again of how wet you are. If Peter can literally tell you he’s Spider-Man, you’re sure you can tell him how wet you are, after all that was the plan all along.

“P-Peter.” His name comes out rather as a whimper and you’re sure that now he can already tell what you’re about to say, still, you’re a little shy about how to go on.

“Yeah?” But you’re also becoming aware of the fact that Peter must be at least as turned on as you when he adjusts his pants underneath you.

“I think maybe it’s time I go to the bathroom alone for once.” Recognition strikes Peter’s features when he realises you’re referring to the couple of times he got too turned on to hide it and never wanted to pressure you into helping him and took care of himself in the bathroom.

“I mean you can stay here - that’s what I’m here for, right?” He raises his eyebrows teasingly and your shyness increases. “Only if you want.” He adds seriously.

You take a finger between your teeth, contemplate for maybe two seconds and then decide that you absolutely want this, “I‘m not going to take my clothes off yet, though.” You point at him warningly while you settle on your back.

“Whatever you want, pretty girl.”

Fuck, you think.

His fingers slip underneath the fabric of your trousers and at first they trail along your panties and Peter’s nearly shocked at how much wet he finds and he gasps.

“You know you’re not the only one who enjoys the whole making out,” you let him know and you already look so impatient so Peter tries to give you what you want.

His fingers find the waistband of your panties and slip underneath, the problem now is that he can’t actually see what he’s doing. Luckily he remembers that communication is key.

“Is that your cli-” He starts but you let out a breath that sounds like you’re finally getting a reward that you should’ve been granted ages ago, and he knows he’s doing at least something right.

Your smile is so seductive yet still a little shy when you move your arms over your face and your hips buck up into his finger, trailing up and down between your folds.

His lips are on your neck and you can relax more, not having him directly watch you come completely undone.

“Fuck, Peter, don’t stop. Feels r-really good.” You whimper and he says something that’s muffled against your neck.

It feels so good to have Peter’s finger on your swollen clit, but something’s still missing.

Your fingers come down to cover his and you draw a circular motion that he copies immediately and your own fingers leave again.

“Like that?” Peter asks, genuinely concentrated, and now he’s looking at you again. But you couldn’t care less about what Peter’s saying when you tip over the edge and your orgasm flows through your whole body with Peter’s rhythm on your clit not faltering. Your high lasts longer than usual until your legs nearly start to shake and you open your eyes to take Peter’s wrist to stop him.

His fingers stop moving but he still looks at you like in a trance for another few moments until you press a kiss to his cheek. “Sorry, didn’t mean to stare.” He blushes.

“‘s fine.” Your hand brushes through his hair but he looks a little uncomfortable.

“Sorry it’s just.. that was really hot and I think…” He screws his eyes shut in embarrassment before blurting out, “I think I might’ve cum in my pants though.” He’s saying it half with humour but he’s looking anywhere but at you and that lets you know he’s not lying.

“I mean I guess it’s a compliment for me, right?” You pout, “I still would’ve liked to make you cum myself but l-” You can’t continue your sentence because Peter nearly sprints to the bathroom calling out a “I can do it again!” and coming back a few seconds later after you hear him get some tissues.

He throws himself on the bed eagerly and starts kissing you again. “Wait, wait,.” you object and Peter stops, “Let me try something.”

You push him down so he’s lying comfortably on his back and move to sit between his thighs and you bend forward. First he thinks you’re going to kiss him, but you stop at his neck, look at his throat as he gulps and your lips come closer, “Tell me if anything hurts.” You say before brushing your hair from your face so you have a free view of Peter’s Adam’s apple.

You lick your lips and first place a chaste kiss on the skin there. Peter encourages you with a pleased moan that he doesn’t quite manage to suppress and soon you‘re sucking on his skin, your tongue darting out and you don’t let go until you’re sure you’ve left a mark.

You finally pull away to see Peter’s whole face and chest flushed but most importantly an already red-purplish mark right in the middle of his throat and you grin smugly, before moving to other parts of Peter’s body.

That day you end up giving Peter a hand-job for the first time - and judging by the time that he takes to cum, you’re really good at that.

When he comes home uncharacteristically late that day, considering he’s not in his suit, May gets suspicious and follows Peter to his room.

“Have you got a second to talk?” May’s standing in Peter’s door frame with two hands behind her back.

“Uh oh... did I do something?” Peter fears, did he forget to buy something he was supposed to? Not done his chores this week?

“No don’t worry, it’s nothing bad.”

They sit down together on his bed and with her sympathetic smile Peter knows he’s not in any trouble.

“You remember last week when you needed me to send you something to your phone from your laptop when you were in class?”

No no no no no no

“I accidentally came across your search history and...”

Which escape way is better? Window or door?

“And I thought you were just curious and I didn’t want to say anything,”

Stop talking already, maybe Peter should just hold his breath until he passes out.

“But now I can see that absolutely massive hickey on your neck and I’m just wondering, is it from her? You know who I mean?” May says your name in an overly teasing way and nudges his arm. Damn, he’d forgotten all about the hickey and maybe now he understood why so many people, especially other guys, were smiling at him in a somewhat congratulatory way his whole way home.

Peter’s not going to get out of this situation so quickly so he just decides to tell the truth already. Or at least the most important answer which is a simple “Yes” to May’s question.

“So who confessed first? I always knew she liked you as much as you like her!”

“It’s not.. quite like that. I mean we’re not together but we’re... something.” He doesn’t know how to answer the question himself, and he especially isn’t going to reveal all the details to May.

“Well I know you like her, and I know love can be complicated at your age, it’s still complicated at mine,” And Peter’s just got all these pictures of her and Happy Hogan in his mind and a shiver runs down his back.

“But I also know you’re not stupid, you’re both old enough to make your own decisions. And as long as you make sure you don’t have any baby Peters running around here soon I’m not going to bother you any further on this topic.” Finally she reveals what’s been behind her back the whole time, a pack of condoms that she puts down on Peter’s bed.

“So if she wants it too, then I trust you, just tell me if you ever want the place for yourselves - not too often but she’s a nice girl, pretty too.” May finally gets up to leave the room and although it’s awkward Peter thanks her, because it’s truly nice to have her care for him and pay attention to his life. She is basically his parent, after all.

She’s nearly down the hall before she comes back pointing a finger at Peter, “And always remember, consent is cool!”

“Obviously.” Peter comments because he wouldn’t ever think of anything else, even if the phrase sounds kind of lame.

Has Peter’s jawline always been this sharp?

Have his eyes always been this bright and beautiful? His hair always so perfectly messy?

Either way, you’re noticing it right now and it’s affecting you.

It’s your last lesson after a long day and you’ve been waiting all day to finally get out of this class, out of sheer boredom.

But now you just want to get out of this class to get your mouth on Peter.

The professor’s given you a small break so everyone’s talking, Peter leaning back on his chair and turned around to talk to Ned.

He’s laughing about something Ned told him and fuck he looks good.

And then you think about his personality, absolutely godlike.

He’s looking at you now, saying something seemingly interesting but all you can think about is how you have the sudden urge to give him a mindblowing orgasm. He’s too beautiful to be true.

“... brilliant, right?” He looks at you with enthusiasm and you feel like he might’ve just told you something funny or cool so you just give a small nod. But he knows this look on you that he’s had the honour of witnessing a few times before. You try to think of something to say that will at least give the impression that you were listening to what he just told you, when suddenly the pencil between your fingers snaps in half.

“Are you free after class?” You ask, completely disregarding Peter and Ned’s shocked looks, only to conceal that your neediness really just drove you far enough to break a pen.

“Ned and I are going to a Christmas market tonight but I have a few hours before.”

“You should totally come with us to the market, I’m bringing Betty too!” Ned chimes in and you’re not sure if this is his attempt of a double date but you agree anyway, telling Peter to come with you to your place later.

“Ladies first.” Peter points to the only empty seat on the bus when he makes sure there’s no old or pregnant people that need the seat more than you.

“You go sit.” You tell him and after this long, exhausting day at college he’s not going to deny it.

Just a moment after he sits down you follow him, sitting on his lap. You’re aware that he knows what your plan is but you don’t care. You even want Peter to know how much he’s turning you on by simply being himself.

You still manage to be subtle considering the people around you, how you’re able to grind on him with the turns, curves, stopping and accelerating of the bus.

When it’s finally the stop you have to get off at you take Peter’s hand in yours and although he’s busy covering his crotch area with his backpack, he can’t help but feel butterflies in his stomach at your touch.

Just last week you nearly hit him when his fingers barely grazed yours in public and now you’re openly showing affection? It’s probably just because you’re horny, Peter has to remind himself, but he likes holding your hand either way.

Peter - already shirtless - immediately gets his hands on your pants when you stumble to your bed, but your hands push his away, “I want today to be about you, Peter.” You reveal to him and he’s already blushing.

“You know I love doing that, right?” His fingers have been on your clit at least six times in the past week, “Making you feel good is enough to get me off, I love watching you c-”

“I know, but I also want to make you feel good like that. I’d like to make you feel good like you make me feel good.” He stops objecting at that, watches you sink to your knees in front of the bed and his hand is already on his crotch trying to get some much needed relief. His hands go to unbutton his jeans but you swat them away and get to pull them off yourself.

He says your name three times but you ignore him until he says “No.”, only to get your attention.

“Huh?” You look up at him and he thinks that maybe he could just cum by looking at you, your lower lip swollen from continuously biting it.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” He asks.

“Yes, are you?”

“More than sure.”

“If I can’t help myself anymore and end up hurting you or you want to stop, just tap on my knee twice, okay?” He knows that sometimes he gets lost like he’s in a trance when he’s with you, but if his cock is in your mouth you won’t be able to say when it’s too much so he wants to make sure.

“I won’t but okay. Will you let me get my mouth on you now?” You smile innocently and he nods, swallowing hard.

You pull his jeans off completely and get rid of your t-shirt before your hands are all over him and you come up one last time to kiss him on the mouth and anywhere you can reach, really.

“I can’t believe I get to date someone this hot,” you mumble and Peter gets even harder at that? Did you just say date?

He has no more time to think about that one word that was maybe only said in the heat of the moment when your hands find his boxers and now he’s naked in front of you.

You want nothing more than to finally feel Peter’s cock in your mouth for the first time. You spit in your palm, look up at him and are about to start jerking him off when he pulls you up by your biceps.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t like knowing you have to be on the uncomfortable floor.” He says a little bashfully and gets you on the bed with him. “Aw,” you take the opportunity to get rid of your pants and bra, all you’re wearing in front of him are your panties now.

And Peter’s never really seen you just like this and again he feels like he could cum just at the sight. His hands have felt you before but actually being able to see all the glory that’s usually covered by your clothes makes him even more attracted to you and he didn’t even know that was possible.

“Can I?” You position yourself between his legs with your hands squeezing your breasts and he all but drools before giving you permission.

When your wet palm first wraps around his hard cock he puts his hands awkwardly on his chest. You give him a smile that’s simply so sweet and it should nearly be impossible how good your hand feels on him.

This is going to be the death of him, Peter thinks, and it would be the best way to die.

“Relax, Peter.” You see him place his arms next to his body, not knowing what to do.

Usually he’s the one who has his hands on you but in this position he doesn’t quite know where to put them.

“You can put your hands in my hair and guide me so I know what I’m doing is good or not so good,” and by now Peter’s leaking on his own abs, “Twice on your knee if I’m uncomfortable,” you add so he won’t worry about that.

He places his hand on your head and adjusts it a bit until he gets a nice grip and now you understand what he likes so much about you touching his hair - and he doesn’t miss how your eyes flutter shut for a second.

Then your hand wraps around him and that’s the only thing he can concentrate on, bucking his hips up involuntarily.

After a few seconds you start using your tongue, trailing around the head of his cock and you hum when you finally taste him (- fuck he won’t last long.)

Your hand stays wrapped around the base of his cock while you give kitten licks to the length of him creating a wet sound that is so dirty he gets harder if that’s even possible at this point.

Your fingers shortly go to his balls before you start using your mouth on him completely, enveloping the tip of his cock in the warmth of your tongue.

His hand in your hair is more for comfort, he doesn’t have to or want to be rough with you, and he tries to savour the feeling of when you start hollowing your cheeks further and he closes his eyes.

You start bobbing your head up and down further along his cock, only your hand at the base of him and the rest disappearing in your mouth with your tongue doing enough work to make him cum if he wasn’t concentrating on lasting longer.

He gets even closer when he opens his eyes briefly and sees you drooling all over yourself and how absolutely perfect you look with your lips wrapped around him.

“F-fuck I’m close.” He warns so you can pull away and let him cum on your body or his own hand, but you only double up your efforts.

His hand tightens in your hair with his whole body tensing as pleasure takes over. You pull your mouth back only to let him see how his spurts of cum hit your tongue with your hand steadily jerking him off, letting him ride out his pleasure.

Even when he’s finished, your lips wrap around him again for a few seconds before he gently pulls you away from him by your hair.

You sit up and go to wipe your mouth but he kisses you before you have a chance to.

“Fuck.” He mumbles.

“Fuck.” You agree with a smile.

“Do you want me to-” he starts but you give him a quick kiss.

“No you don’t have to. Fuck I’m exhausted, that was already awesome enough.”

He chuckles but he’s actually slightly red and sweaty… and shy.

“Glad to know you enjoyed it too.” You only hum as you watch him pick his boxers back up and he’s looking at you as well.

He enjoys just being able to see you so comfortable in front of him, completely naked except for your panties, especially after you told him how self-conscious you were at times. Even Peter who never really had any doubts about his body was still shy when he’s naked in front of you. So he appreciates that you’re comfortable enough around him and willing to show yourself like that in front of him like that all the more.

Your eyes shut and he can see how tired you are, but he also takes in the wet stain on your panties between your legs.

“You sure you don’t need me to take care of you?” Your eyes open again at that.

His hands slip under the waistband of your panties and you arch into him when he touches your clit.

“Fuck I’m so wet.” You can’t help but let out a whimper and move to your back and pull a leg up to give Peter better access already.

“Yeah, I can feel.” He looks down to catch a glimpse of your heat that he’s so far only ever touched but not seen, “God, you’re fucking soaked.”

“I know and I want to cum,” You lean in to Peter to get him to apply more pressure.

His middle finger starts to circle your clit like he’s learnt to do in the past few weeks.

It’s not even a minute later when you cum with a silent cry of Peter’s name and with your eyes closed.

Peter’s so close to you, watching you and he feels so deeply for you it almost hurts. But it only hurts because he has to keep reminding himself that he’s only doing this so you can end up in another guy’s bed and that you don’t actually care about him as more than a friend and that this isn’t ever going to exceed a friends with benefits type of relationship if not less.

His fingers are still in your panties and he can feel how soaked his finger is. It‘s been like that a few times already and for some reason he was scared to taste you - well he wanted nothing more than to taste you. But for another inexplicable reason he was scared that you would think he was weird for wanting to do so, but you‘d basically just done the same to him so he moves his finger up to his face. But your fingers wrap around his wrist and then you suck his finger into your own mouth before he can taste you.

“Leave some for me.“ He fake-whines and you release his finger with a pop and stick your tongue out at him.

“I mean there‘s plenty left down there… can I eat you out?“ He raises his eyebrow questioningly.

“Sorry, I‘m too exhausted.“

“That‘s okay, pretty girl, no need to apologise.“ He probably shouldn’t be calling you anything other than your name because he‘ll just fall for you deeper, but he can‘t resist calling you cute nicknames and he loves the way you shyly smile at them.

But also… you did use the word ‘dating‘ before… Maybe you‘ve changed your mind? And you want Peter as much as he wants you, as a real relationship? He doesn‘t want to get too hopeful before he has clarity.

“Hey - you said something earlier when you-“

“Before you even continue - I can‘t be held accountable for anything I say while I‘m horny, okay?“ You point a finger at him playfully and he tries to hide how his smile slowly fades.

“Could you pass me my bag?“ Peter reaches for your bag and you get out a fresh pair of panties which you change into under the covers.

“You bring extra panties with you in case I make you ruin them, huh?“ He smirks.

“Well actually they‘re for if I get my period while I’m out, but I guess with you being so damn irresistible all the time that‘s also a valid reason to carry around a fresh pair.“

Then sometimes, you say stuff like that and Peter has no idea what it means. Friends don‘t say that, right? But friends don‘t do any of the other stuff you and Peter have been doing lately, so he really doesn‘t know what to think.

“I want to take a nap.“ You announce and cuddle up to Peter on the bed, he can feel your naked breasts against his side. And if your calm breathing hadn‘t lulled him to sleep he‘d have gotten hard again.

Peter wakes up with you on his lap, fully dressed and freshened up.

“We’re late to the Christmas market, Ned and Betty are already there, come on get up!” You bounce on the bed giddily, dragging him to get up but because it’s you he happily obliges, even in his sleepy state.

While Betty shows you something on her phone with you holding her arm to warm up in the cold winter of New York (Peter wishes he could hold you like that in public) and Ned’s busy buying chocolate covered fruit, Peter sneaks off to buy you a gift.

He’s actually got one already, for the Holiday season and you two made a promise not to get each other too much or anything expensive, or nothing at all if you can‘t find anything good, but he spots something so perfect that he just has to get it.

You all stay out late, slurping winter punch and you even take Peter’s hand at some point - in public! - and when you notice him smiling down at your intertwined hands you claim it’s just because you’re cold.

Despite knowing that your relationship will turn back to purely a friendship after you have your first time and you have your fun with this other guy, Peter barely thinks about it. For now he’s just enjoying the time he does have with you and in his own head no one can tell him you’re not acting like boyfriend and girlfriend.

It’s the best time he’s ever had in his life - even outside of the mind-blowing new sexual experiences, he gets to spend so much time with you he could almost dance with joy every time.

Just last week Peter fingered you for the first time.

You’d talked to him about how you’ve been trying to get used to the feeling of your own fingers inside of you (and just the thought of you lying in your bed late at night doing that made Peter unbelievably turned on).

But then you pointed out how his fingers were much bigger and it seemed like you felt pretty strongly about that, which in return might have made him a little proud. You’d let out the most gorgeous whimpers, clenching around two of his fingers in the end and he’ll give you as much time as you need but he really can’t wait to feel that around his cock.

And when he told you that May was going to be gone for the whole weekend, you’d responded asking if he had condoms… So that means…? You’re going to… have sex? (He asked and you said yes.)

So now he’s been stressed all day, showered twice already, put fresh covers on the bed, cleaned his room like he never has before and made sure that he had all your favourite snacks at home.

On one hand, he knows he’s overreacting - it’s you. And he feels so comfortable around you and knows you would think it’s silly how worried he is to make everything perfect and he tells himself to chill.

But on the other hand, time flies when you’re having fun and Peter really hadn’t fully registered that it was the last weekend before the winter holidays. And winter holidays meant that you were going to meet dumb already graduated from college guy and have sex with him.

But Peter can count himself lucky to be your first… and like the last few weeks, he’ll forget all about the other guy as soon as you’re over because when you’re with him there’s no room in his head for a single other thing, so he knows it’ll all work out.

It won’t just work out, but it’ll be amazing, anything to do with you is.

It’s past sunset when you come over. It really calms Peter down how relaxed you seem, still nervous but just as comfortable around him as he is around you, and you don’t even move on to anything sexual for the first two hours. And no matter what other guy you’ll end up sleeping with or don’t, you two will always have that special friendship bond that even him and Ned don’t have on that type of level.

Peter thinks you don’t notice how much he’s cleaned up and how squeaky clean he smells, but you definitely do and smile at how much effort he’s put into making you feel special, with all your favourite foods stocked up as well.

When you look at him in that special way that so far in this world only he has got to see, he knows it’s time.

It’s beautiful as ever; how your clothes come off piece by piece, needy but slow nevertheless.

You’re both in only your underwear by now and the kisses along with your heavy breathing are the only sounds to be heard in the room and if Peter tried, he would only fail to explain how honoured he feels to be experiencing this with you for the first time (little does he know exactly how good he always makes you feel in return).

He’s kissing down your chest and over your belly now, you can tell where his destination is. “Oh, Peter - you know you don’t have to do that, your fingers are enough but even if that’s too much to ask you don-”

“No, let me make you feel good.” He purrs from between your legs and they widen, inviting him in. But just an inch above your panties he stops “I mean do you want me to? Is that cool?” (Consent is cool, he remembers.)

“Only if you truly don’t mind, then that would be... really cool.” You perch yourself up on your elbows to look at him, not only because you know how much Peter enjoys eye contact, but you want to enjoy the view too.

And he doesn’t really understand why you hadn’t let him get his tongue on you like he plans on doing now before - you’d given him head and you definitely didn’t mind and even you realise that - especially with Peter - you have not a single reason to be insecure.

Your panties come off and he lies mesmerised between your legs even while you unclasp your bra and then you’re completely naked.

But this - he takes two of his fingers to spread your lips and you’re already so wet that he can smell you, and it’s so luscious when he finally gets to taste you.

His tongue laps everything you give him (he actually has no idea what he’s doing - him and Ned googling was months ago by now and he’s half under the covers and he can’t have his tongue and eyes at the same place at the same time so he uses pure instinct and for once he’s right).

His tongue trails along your swollen folds and this is better than he could have ever imagined.

You make noises, rooted deep in your throat and you half-swallow them so they come out even more desperate and he knows you’re close.

“You can use me, just do whatever feels good.” He says hastily, spending as little time as possible with his mouth not on you. You give a small ‘okay’ and you’re so far gone it’s the hottest thing ever.

He expected a little more resistance because he knows how nervous you are about basically having your pussy in Peter’s face for the first time (which you have no reason to be because he might be enjoying this more than you), but the second the words leave his mouth, your body shifts, your legs on his shoulders moving further down so you’re right in his face as your hips find a new rhythm.

And Peter can barely believe it.

The girl he’s known for so long, been “just friends” with for so long, is grinding her perfect, deliciously sticky pussy on his tongue. You’re arching your back, all but using him to get off and there’s truly never been anything sweeter than when you cum on his tongue, moans no longer held back but loud and so damn obscene, that he nearly cums in his boxers again but he can refrain from grinding his hips on the mattress, saving himself only for you.

(And not that he’s thinking about it- but getting his heart broken by you afterwards would be worth it just for even this one moment).

Even when your legs start shaking around him you don’t stop but rather pull his hair to encourage him to go longer, he doesn’t let up until you’re pushing his head away, and even then you whine at the loss of contact.

“Oh fuck, that was the best orgasm I’ve ever had.” And Peter prides himself on the way you’re panting and your chest is heaving. (Maybe he’s officially acquired the sex skills he’s been trying to attain to make you fall in love with him…?)

You get his boxers off so quick he nearly lines himself up with your dripping heat without a condom, but you both realise at the last second, even laughing at your neediness but then the kissing continues and you get even more needy.

Just before you‘re about to spread your legs further Peter presses the most chaste of kisses to your lips and to tell him if it hurts. You bring your legs up to your chest and you have a feeling you‘re close again when Peter‘s cock brushes your entrance.

“Okay?“

“I‘m ready.“

It‘s nearly impossible not to bury himself inside of you completely because you‘re so wet, but he manages to stop before even being inside of you an inch.

You nod so he knows he can go on but your expression becomes more pained with the second and despite how good you feel around his cock, he can‘t enjoy it if you aren‘t.

“Do you want me to stop? I don‘t want to hurt you.“ He says softly, his hand at the side of your face, caressing your hair.

“You could never hurt me, Peter,“ And if he wasn‘t in love, before he falls for you right then and there,“You can go on.“

And he does.

A single tear falls from each one of your eyes but you insist he goes on and he can‘t deny how good you feel. But he wants to last longer, until you‘re more used to the foreign feeling and can enjoy it too, though with the way you‘re squeezing his cock with every half-thrust, you make that really hard.

“Fuck,“ he mumbles and your body rocks against him slightly.

“If you can last only a little longer, I‘ll cum with you.“ You say, your eyes half shut in pleasure, half in pain and for that he manages to last a bit more.

His fingers find your clit and he rubs in sloppy circles until you‘re finally enjoying it too and his mission is accomplished when you cry out his name and now he can let go too.

He thrusts into you a few more times, trying to be gentle and you‘re equally exhausted afterwards.

“That was-“ he starts, “amazing.“ you finish.

“Really?“ Were you not just crying?

“It did hurt, but I‘m still glad I could have my first experience with you.“ Your finger grazes his chest and you kiss him there and he realises, with that it‘s probably over.

It‘s your goodbye to doing this type of thing and although he‘s sad knowing you‘ll be going off soon, he‘s also happy knowing he still has time and it‘s not like you‘ve actually made a decision yet - maybe his plan worked and he persuaded you to stay, with his sex skills… (yeah... probably not). But he doesn‘t ask because you‘re still staying and he appreciates every second he spends with you.

“Sorry for ruining your fresh sheets..“

“So you did notice,“ Peter smiles.

“Of course I did - I also noticed how you had all my favourite snacks - and I don‘t mean you -“ (oh that‘s new), “ was all very sweet of you.“ You kiss him.

Wearing some of his clothes now, you insisted on helping him soak the blood stain on his sheets. May very likely already knows what‘s going on already and she doesn‘t have to know even more. Though you do think it‘s cool how she gave Peter the condoms, although he was blushing furiously when he told you the story.

Bed freshly made (again) you lie together, looking at each other - sometimes talking and sometimes it‘s just a more than pleasant silence.

You‘re not sure if he‘s asleep already, when you roll on top of him with a coy smile as you start kissing along his jawline and your favourite place in the middle of his throat, “I know we just changed your sheets, but can we have sex again?“ With the way you‘re so innocently smiling he can‘t believe that you‘d be horny to want to do it again straight away.

“I think this time it‘s going to hurt less and I want to give you the full experience, without me crying and stuff. Also, we can put a towel down.“ You laugh but he can tell you actually feel bad, when technically he was the one who hurt you, even if it was just a bit.

“For me, that was more than amazing, you don‘t have to go through all that again just because you feel bad for me. there’s nothing to feel bad about..“

“So you don‘t want to have sex with me?“ (Okay he knows this pout and you are horny after all.)

The second time is a lot better for you.

You fall asleep in Peter‘s arms, both happy.

But then that dreaded day comes when you‘re meant to be visiting that asshole.

Even worse - it turns out he‘s a friend of a friend of your family and he‘ll be spending your whole winter trip - over one entire week - with you and your family and you won‘t have any internet, not even any service.

You don’t say anything when he’s waving you goodbye but he has this feeling that this is over.

May, Ned and their presents can only make Peter forget for a limited amount of time and although the holidays are still nice, there are many moments where he has to think about you.

It seems like even the criminals of New York are celebrating the holidays so being Spider-Man for a bit isn‘t an option to forget about you for a bit either.

Hey, he types in his phone into his text message chat with you.

Peter: Hey

Peter: I know you’re with that other guy now

Peter: Probably

Peter: But I like you

Peter: And in the last few weeks I felt like you like me too?

Peter: So maybe if you don’t like that other guy too much we could... be together? Or something maybe

The text messages are absolute shit but it doesn‘t really matter anymore.

You come back a day early, text a “I don‘t get it if it‘s a joke…?“ and a minute later you‘re at his door.

“What are you talking about? Was that a joke I didn’t understand?“ You repeat.

He doesn‘t want to start hoping again before you have a proper conversation in his room.

“So… uh - the other guy..?“

“Peter - I know we‘re not together, I know neither of us have explicitly said that but I thought.. I like you. You’re the one I like. You, Peter. I haven’t wanted that guy for ages. I thought it was kind of obvious …”

“Well I just wasn‘t sure because for example the one time you said something about how we‘re dating - you said that when you were uh… on your knees- afterwards you were all like ‘I can‘t be held accountable for anything I said when I was horny’ so…“ He really doesn’t want to get his hopes up again before he has full certainty.

You giggle, “Peter what I meant was that I didn‘t want you to tease me about anything I say while I‘m horny when we‘re not in bed together, like how I said how good you taste or something.” You respond shyly.

“You never said that.“ He blushes.

“Well I thought it..”

“So you really like me?”

“Of course you dummy,” you want to smack him up the head for really thinking you’d be such a bitch to do all that with him only to get together with another guy, “And if it’s not obvious enough yet, I want to be your girlfriend. So would you like... like to be my boyfriend?”

“Yes obviously!” He beams and you press a kiss to his lips, “That was our first kiss as boyfriend and girlfriend.” He smiles and then you remember your gift for him.

“Well since my boyfriend is so good at giving gifts - that Fenty lipgloss you gave me is way too expensive! But I don’t have to tell you, you’re the one who bought it-”

“I was thinking your lips look extra shiny today… and are a bit sticky and I probably have lipgloss on my lips now but if it looks anywhere near as cute as it does on you, I don’t care.” He shrugs happily.

“And I’m not only wearing the lipgloss you gave me-”

“Wait!” He interrupts you once again and you just really want to show him what you got.

“When we were at that Christmas market I saw Betty show you something on her phone and I was unsure whether to get it or not because I didn’t know what we… were? But now I know what we are and it’s okay if you don’t want to wear it but… I’ll just show you.”

Oh no - did Peter get you clothes? Even you sometimes get your own size wrong if you don’t try it on before..

But your eyes go wide when he pulls out a little blue box. “Peter, whatever’s in there we’re too young to marry and also I feel bad now because I’m sure that definitely exceeds the price limit we set and I didn’t even come close to it, if I’m honest I couldn’t even think of a materialistic gift… not really.” But he’s still smiling.

“You being mine is the greatest gift ever.”

“Stop being cheesy and just show me what’s in there.”

“Close your eyes.” You do.

His hands go around your neck and you feel a lightweight pendant rest only an inch below the gap between your collar bones, “Can I open my eyes?”

He clasps it securely and leans back to his normal position in front of you. “Uh-huh, but seriously if you don’t like it you don’t have to wear it.” You can hear the nervousness in his voice but you open your eyes and your finger immediately go to the little letter “P” hanging from the necklace and you nearly tear up.

“Am I really that bad of a gift-giver?-” He worries, seeing you cry.

“I love it,” He’s positively surprised and you really don’t understand why, “That way everyone can finally know I’m yours.” You kiss him once more but he pulls back.

“Do you want that?..” And now you understand why he hesitated with the present.

You’re the one who made him feel as if you didn’t want him, not like that, only because you were too stupid to talk about your feelings openly and he’d gone a whole week thinking you were with some stupid other guy that you now realise might have only been an excuse to get with Peter in the first place - subconsciously at least.

“Yes - there’s nothing I want more than you,” A tear slips from your eye at the thought of how you made him feel - for making him feel as if you didn’t want him equally as much as he wanted you for even just a second.

“Hey, don’t cry - we’ve got each other now and that’s all that matters.” He hugs you so tight it squeezes all the tears out of you and his happiness radiates off of him and on to you.

“I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I don’t want that. I want to be yours and I want you to be mine and now I want to make up for all the time that we weren’t together and with this necklace the whole world will know too and I’m so in love with you it’s- uh I mean…” you ramble and realise you just absolutely used the words ‘in love’ - you’ve got Peter now and don’t already want to scare him off.

“You mean..?”

“Well actually… I did mean what I said - I’m in love with you,” But hiding the truth is what kept you apart all those weeks so you decide to be honest, “if you’re not ready you don’t have to say-”

“I’m in love with you, too.”

“Really?” You’re both grinning.

“Yeah… I realised a while ago.. “

You’re hugging again because it’s just too overwhelming, to finally be together and you’re so so happy that it’s Peter you’re with. And once again you remind yourself of the only gift you have for him.

“The only thing I bought is something for me, as I was trying to tell you earlier. So it’s not directly for you, nothing you can keep-”

“Doesn’t matter.” Peter chimes in. He really couldn’t care less about materialistic things, not when he has you (okay the necklace is quite cute, but he knows you’re his even without the first letter of his name around your neck.)

“But I think you’ll still like it.”

Without another word you pull your sweatshirt over your head (making sure the necklace stays on and Peter takes notice of that) to reveal some lacy lingerie, and he’s already hard.

“Second best gift ever.” He mumbles as he lies you down on your back to hover over you, he’s already touching you with so much lust in his eyes but what you also realise is love.

“The necklace is the number one best gift.” You announce.

“No, the best gift is that I get to call you mine.”

You can only smile at that, at a loss for words because he’s already undressing you, his lips along your thighs.

“Wait no.” You stop him and he sits up.

“Let me be on top?” You straddle him and get rid of your lingerie - everything except the necklace.

And it’s all for him. Only for him. And he sees your smile and he knows that it’s just you and him. It’s you and him together, you and him against the world.

#peter parker x reader #peter parker smut #peter parker #peter parker x you #you people gave this 4k notes last time and idk why 😭 rereading this was painful lskdjfghjksfjghrjs (only some of it)#fem!reader #selfcarecap

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