#yes i finally learnt how to use tumblr breaks

[kaleen-art]

The Big Golden Showdown is Peak Part 1

I have been a long time Part 1 fan but I always had a few episodes I never finished. Back in November or December of last year, I embarked on a rewatch of the Part 1 episodes I had already seen as well as watching the ones remaining, primarily the last 3. It took a while due to personal issues, but I completed the last 3, and I especially enjoyed the final episode (#23), The Big Golden Showdown. So I wrote an essay on it! Read it below!

Hayao Miyazaki has always had a thing for raising the stakes to the utmost degree in his finales. Though I have not yet completed Part 2, I have watched the finale of which he was the director of and you can see that there especially, in which the usually low-stakes silly Part 2 builds a level of tension and terror in the air through its sheer scope. Part 1 however differs, because at face value there is nothing particularly different about the Part 1 finale. It’s a pretty standard Lupin caper, and it ends as most Lupin capers do. They get the treasure, end up losing it somehow anyway but just barely make it out while Zenigata chases after in an attempt to apprehend them. But it’s on a character level I think this episode captures my heart.

Most evidently, Zenigata is at his literal wits’ end. It’s important to note this episode solidifies one of my favorite aspects of Part 1, its continuity. Zenigata acknowledges by now he has captured Lupin twice in the series, and has twice lost him, and after continually failing to get and keep him behind bars, even with the help of a supercomputer, he seems to have given up when he admits to the Police Commissioner that even if he was at the bank when they were transferring the gold coins over, Lupin would’ve been able to steal it anyway. This appears to be a far cry from the Zenigata we’ve previously seen who stuck it through thick and thin. Goemon even remarks that Zenigata is acting differently, though Lupin stubbornly denies it (this underestimation becomes his crucial flaw at the end of the episode). But now he says that if he’s unsuccessful, he’ll resign. This already adds serious weight to this episode. You can observe this in the general tone. 

Additionally, while Part 1’s soundtrack is often ridiculed I find it incredibly fitting for how it’s used. The somber tones of the songs set an overture of finality to this episode, and it really makes things seem like this is the end. And historically speaking, this show failed to meet rating expectations, so to the staff at the time, for all they knew, it WAS. This would be the last time Lupin would ever be animated and the manga was already over, so I believe knowing this, they made this episode as a somber farewell to the characters. It is a bittersweet goodbye.

I think another facet of this is how the characters act. Even though for a majority of it, we see Lupin and the gang act on usual business, they sense something is different, as Goemon says. When Lupin goes to his old hideout, he carelessly wrecks tons of his family heirlooms saying they’re junk and he doesn’t need them. As if he’s ready to move on. Everything seems like it’s going to culminate in this heist, and though I don’t think this was ever going to be their last heist, it’s the climax of their careers (at least up to that point) in a way.

And on that note, it’s in the episode’s climax that these themes come together. Lupin the entire series is always very brash and though it always works out for him, it is here where his crucial flaw comes in. He makes a grave error in this episode and ends up leading the police and Zenigata to him and the gang. Now LUPIN is at his wits’ end. Even though at first it seems like Lupin was just bluffing to Zenigata about not wanting to live anymore after making such a screw-up, I think in a way he was being genuine. As we saw in Episode 4, Lupin takes it hard when he loses to Zenigata. That's why he was willing to fake his death rather than just be taken into custody. There's no doubt he would have escaped, but the idea he could be arrested over such an oversight, he'd rather fake his own death in a dramatic explosion. A true finale.

But that's when the beautiful ending comes in. Lupin thinks he's finally won once and for all, that he successfully faked his death, and the viewers then likely thought that this would be the end of the adventures of Lupin III, once and for all. But then, Zenigata comes back unexpectedly, and in that moment where Lupin and Zenigata look into each other’s eyes, under the water, I think both them and the viewer realize something. It will never be over. And though "the chase will never end" is an easy thing for people to say in a world where this show has been running for 50+ years, back then, that meant something truly special.

Once again, it is the perfect bittersweet ending, and I think the episode’s character writing and exploration in how these characters deal with such heavy stakes make it a personal favorite of mine. Part 1 was so good, only an ending like this could top it off.

[samara444]

everything i learnt during my break (ie all you need to know about manifesting)

hi guys, i took a months long break from tumblr. i used to be depressed, suicidal, constantly looking for results, having only failures, whining, being affected by the 3d every turn, crying almost everyday, to now not being affected by the 3d at ALLL, knowing my true power, and having it all easily conform in the 3d, i dont have anxiety/depression anymore and i feel so blessed, now i literally cry happy tears.

i used to be someone who used to spend my whole day on here, morning to night, looking for answers and the final "key" to manifesting/shifting, taking a break was much needed. here are the things i finally learned after so long.

dont be double minded // i would like to start by saying, see its a choice. we have 2 very distinct sides in this world, one full of lack, negativity, failures, sadness, losing, wishing, wanting....and the other of fulfillment, belief, positivity, determination, persisting, having, being, awareness etc. and whatever we choose, stick by it. i see so many people complaining and trying to say manif/shifting isnt real, and yes thats true FOR YOU in your reality. whatever you have choosen, a life of suffering or one of happiness through the law, please stick to it. if you want to say the law doesnt work, great, but if you have even a slight hope that its true and real, then give it a shot, and dont doubt, and with faith watch how it changes your life.

no circumstance can stop you // be it time, or the past, or trauma, every condition and circumstance only exist because we identify with it. the difference between a broke guy working a 9 to 5 that they hate, no purpose in life, debt and all relationships failing and a multimillionare, who doesnt have to work a single day in their life, life full of luxury and happiness, people who love them etc who probably doesnt even deserve their money but still gets to enjoy it, is simply their beliefs. believe better for yourself.

thinking from your desire and not of it // wishing and wanting and creating up fake scenarios is very different from knowing you HAVE your desire rn. the former is daydreaming, the latter is creation. you can waste years of your life thinking you're manifesting but its just us THINKING OFFF our desire. the results only show up when we HAVE right now. not to get, not to change the 3d but haveeee right now.

imagination is the only reality // we live in a multiverse, idc if people believe in that or not because its true for me, and every possible circumstance is possible and already created. already done. all our job is to HAVE it, and to CHOOSE to live in the state of having. and being fulfilled in our imagination instead of looking for in the 3d. if we look now we'll forever be looking, but when we close our eyes and know its done because our minds is the true consciousness, thats when it actually shows up.

stop manifesting with the intent of changing the 3d // physically trying to change the 3d is so hard, its so tiresome, its futile and useless, but being fulfilled and in the present moment, not worrying about the past or the future. just focusing on staying in the state of the wish fulfilled with our eyes closed is the key, dont worry about what you see with your eyes open. the 4d is the creator, the 3d will AUTOMATICALLY follow.

stop overconsuming/more techniques and enjoy life // you know already what you have to do. most of us know that living in the end means being the person who already has it. so does your dream ideal self do a million techniques trying to get? does you ideal self spend their whole day scrolling on tumblr looking for another technique? another magic affirmation? subliminal? post? that will fix it all? no. they enjoy their lives knowing its done. their wish is in the greatest hands and its all done. so really, stoppp STOP with the overconsumption, trust that you know everything that you are supposed to. everything is within you. stop searching for it outside.

i yap a lot. i love to write so dont blame me, but i wont make this post too long, my dms are always open for help/ or to make friends. ily guys, i feel so happy now being on tumblr, i used to read others success stories and now i have my own hehe so yes slay. bye

-love, sam <3

[hana-no-seiiki]

YANDERE! COLLEGE X POPULAR GIRL! / QUEEN BEE! READER BLURB ( 01 )

I don’t usually make gendered readers/mcs but because the MC is hyperfemme in the webtoon I’ll be making off this + the themes relate to femininity. . .

ALSO I JUST REALIZED IT’S WEDNESDAY SO HELL YES. FOLKS WELCOME TO MY FIRST WOMEN LOVING WEDNESDAY POST.

Inspirations: From Films : Mean Girls, Jennifer’s Body. From Tumblr : the blog heartfullofleeches

Pairings (Blurb Specific) : Yandere! Ex! Jock! x Popular Girl/Queen Bee! Reader x Yandere GF of the Jock! Good Girl! Soft Girl!

TW/CW: Heavy themes typical to Yanderes, Manipulative! Reader. Mention of violence towards a girl. Reader cucks her ex.

Poor Darling de Leon.

It was obvious she was being used as a replacement. A way to make you jealous by your attention seeking ex.

He could have at least tried to hide it better. The girl wasn’t his type at all. She was demure, easy on the eyes yes, but awfully withdrawn and shy. Her fashion sense heavily contrasted yours, by its blinding pastels and childish themes.

Her lips, covered in gloss, made it even more plump and kissable. Yet the dimwitted Jock hadn’t let her gone past the occasional lap sitting and back hugs whenever you were in the room. His disgust for replacement could be spotted from a mile away, really.

Poor, pretty Darling De Leon. So unused, so unloved.

If it were up to you . . .

“Yoohoo~ Darling?”

“M-me?”

“You’re silly, y’know that? Why don’t you come here?”

Your entourage gave you a funny look. Throughout the years they have learnt not to question your actions lest they face the consequences. Yet it still bothered them whenever you wasted your time on people like Darling. You time was better off spent with them and them alone.

Darling, although apprehensive, knew enough to not knock on the hornet’s nest. The incident yesterday showed the transferee just how much power you held over the student body here.

You stared at her standing with an amused look before you gestured to your lap.

“Here, sweetie.”

She sat on your lap. Completely frozen.

What were you planning? Was she going to end up like that girl? She never wanted to date Justin, she was coerced into it.

Before any more thoughts entered her pretty head you spoke once more, “You’re still a virgin, aren’t you?”

She bit back a squeal as you glided your hands across her inner thighs.

“Hmph, what a man Justin is.” You lean into her ear and whisper, “He doesn’t deserve a pretty girl like you, Darling.”

Was this a ploy for you to get them to break up? Darling winced as you squeezed the soft skin on her legs. She’ll do it in a heartbeat! You didn’t have to bully her like this.

“You know who does, though?”

You began giving her neck kisses. Lightly, as if putting just a little more pressure would break her.

“Y-you?”

Your lips separated from her skin, hands too. The absence of the warmth it provided startled her. Finally, as Darling caught her breath and looked at her surroundings, she finally noticed her boyfriend staring at the scene in horrifying anger, not to mention the entire class . . .

“Me.”

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

I DID IT!!!! I FINALLY FECKING DID IT!!!!! I REWATCHED THE ENTIRE LOTR TRILOGY!!! and do i EVER have some tHOUHGTS hdosidhsaodi below the cut ✨✨✨

FIRST THINGS FIRST:

was it as good as i remembered??

short answer: yes!!!!!! long answer: oh my gfucijing go d soj shjues us god mother of shitw yEes yes yseeeessss 😭😭😭 (baby birb had better taste than present birb but don't tell anyone i said so 👀)

there are loads of things i missed before, as well as things i didn't understand, but i understand them now :'D it always gave me that wriggly weird feeling in my chest even as a kid, just like 'lilo & stitch' or the song 'reflection' from mulan, but i didn't know WHY. turns out, these things touched my heart and it scared me, bc emotions have always scared me. but ive learnt to appreciate them as well. not all tears are an evil. i know what gandalf meant now :'D

does it hold up????

in my opinion, it does!!!! some of the cgi may look a bit wonky to modern eyes, but for the most part it's totally fine, if not better looking than some more.....recent films 👀 i've never been a great fan of slow-motion, but it's used mostly effectively here, to enhance the drama as opposed to taking up space (sure the feckers are long enough without it anyway 🤣) the core message of the film is beautiful and timeless. there is hope and goodness and love in our world, and it's worth every ounce of courage in our hearts!! it's as true today as it was when the film was made!! as true as it was when jrr tolkien wrote his stories!! if i believe in anything at all (much as i often profess i don't) it's only that our world is worth fighting for.

are u still after shipping aragorn and legolas??

YEAH. IM BASIC SO WHAT??? i JUST LIKE IT OK. I JUST. LIKE IT ;A;

will u be making more bad jokes now??

OF COURSE I WILL!! do u even KNOW me it's like u don't even KNOW me wtf. there's just a lot this time so. OK HERE GOES 💪😤

i can't believe smeagol was always just. like that lol. baby birb did not realise it was the same character as gollum btw. baby birb was. silly 👀

THE CAIN INSTINCT PREVAILS ONCE MORE!!!

'wake up, sleepies' is how i greet my cats in the morning btw

lol merry and pippin look high as FECK. baby birb didn't understand that lmao, i thought they were just tired 🤣

well, at least the gang are back together!! (mostly ;A;) merry & pippin dancing on tables, eowyn bringing aragorn a drink....good for them :'D

also!! nice pyjamas, lads!!! they all look so cute omg ;A;

THE ORB!!!! that's great, we here on tumblr love orbs, this is-----oh shit is he dead?? *SHOVES MERRY*

omg when aragorn grabs the orb and falls over and then legolas grabbed him 👀👀👀 I JUST WANT THEM TO KISS OK

the third act break up btwn merry and pippin is so sad 😔

aaAAH!! A CHILD!!!!! D: scary!! ;A;

every time elrond says 'there's nothing for u here' i keep hearing 'this is a DECENT town and a LOCAL shop!! there's nothing for U here!!!' lmao 🤣

the king's hall at minas tirith could use a few throw rugs or sth tbh, maybe a couple paintings. bit sparse in there really :P

right i'll just say it: the witch-king's fell beast's head looks like a di--

YAAAS PIPPIN LET'S DO SOME ARSON!! :D

aragorn's arm-flail run is back and it sparks so much joy i love him i love him i love hi

i've counted THREE (3) BLATANT WILHELM SCREAMS across these films!!! one in ttt, and TWO in rotk!!! incredible

i can't believe denethor says 'yeah i wish u died instead of ur brother. rip i guess' 😐 TO HIS FUCKING FACE!!! evil. faramir's gonna remember that FOREVER. u got to be careful what u say to ur kids bc even if they don't bring it up again, they will never ever forget. my dad called me 'useless' once when i was 15 and i still think about it sometimes. DO NOT SAY WEIRD SHIT TO UR KIDS. IM BEGGING U ;A;

despite denethor's A+ parenting, faramir is a nice guy, totally willing to lead his men on a death march to a fight they can't possibly win, throwing away their lives (and their horses) on an impossible task for the futile hope of making his father love him. rip 😔

NICE SINGING PIP!!! reminds me of irish sean-nós singing, traditional music from ireland ;A; (here's an example :D)

ngl watching denethor eat is like watching the Dinner Scene from texas chainsaw 1974 👀

OH LOOK DAD'S HERE!! hi dad!! thanks for not giving us any facial expression as a hint to what dad wanted, theoden, ur so. helpful ._.

'hey so listen ur gf is dying and since she's my daughter that means i have to make sure U don't die so. here.' *SWORDGASM*

actually that sword was baby birb's fav bits. baby birb LOVED swords ;A;

THE WORST BIT. eowyn tries to confess her feelings and aragorn rejecting her is SO PAINFUL AND AWKWARD AAA ;A;

BEEG DRUMMERS IN THE ORC ARMY!!!! and SIEGE MACHINES!!

legolas squinting at the ghost like 'this guy SUS'

aragorn's 'u WILL suffer me 😠'

it never occurred to me when i was a kid, but the gang are doing a bit of fucking. NECROMANCY here aren't they??? like???

wait who tf is iorlas

OH is it that hot blond??? NICE. i like him >:3c

being a wizard is cool bc u can cast spells OR if ur gandalf u can use the staff to wHACK DENETHOR OVER THE HEAD!!!! he's got a shillelagh and i'm glad of it 😌 (baby birb used to listen to da's political music and one of the songs had a line about being 'whacked with a sprig of shillelagh' which i got a kick out of 🤣)

'we should TAKE the broken city pieces and THROW IT AT THE ORCS!!!' :D (read it like the spongebob meme pls)

'GROND! GROND! GROND!' ('grond' refers to the biggest door-knocker EVER)

gollum u need to stop fat-shaming sam, ur being #problematic and they're gonna cancel u 😩

'CRUMBS ON ITS JACKETSES' lol silly that's a CLOAK!!

OH FECK FRODO'S ALLERGIC TO SPIDER BITES!! ;A;

it might actually be easier to carry him in that cocoon

'don't go where i can't follow' FUCKING KILL ME 😭

[women screaming]

i still don't know what an eored is. or WHY i don't know. why

denethor re-enacts 'flashdance' lol (except he intends to burn himself and his son alive)

OH SHIT THE MAD MAX COSPLAYERS ARE HERE

oh no!! uncle's horse!!! (oh and uncle, oh no!)

HERE IT IS. THE LINE WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR. I AM NO MAN!!! rip uncle tho lol.

can't believe he really pulled the 'u should smile more, ur so pretty when u smile' rubbish before 😒

WOW we should have hired ghosts AGES ago, they can go thru walls and everything!!! O_O

MERRY AND PIPPIN ARE BACK TOGETHER!!! yay~

sam is SUCH a badass, look at him go!! 'AND THAT'S FOR MY OLD GAFFER!!!' adding to his kill count with tears in his eyes :'D

sauron moving his beam around like 'EYE SEE U!! EYE AM LOOKING UPON U!!!'

aw feck frodo's doing the jesus thing where he falls down a few times but has to get back up ;A;

'a day may come when i stop memeing on this line....BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY!!!!!'

lol they're bullying gollum, u love to see it 🤣

SAM STOP BEING PERFECT FOR FIVE SECONDS CHALLENGE LEVEL: IMPOSSIBLE

DO IT KING!! TOSS THAT SHIT!!!!

'what are u waiting for?!' 'i've got to give it a chance to defeat me, it's only sportsmanlike, sam!!!'

LEGOLAS'S FACE. WHEN ARAGORN FALLS DOWN. u can see his mouth go like 'ARAGORN' but it's slow-mo and silent ;A; he just starts shoving ppl out his way to get to him hdoasdiasadisj im. gay

AND THEN THE VOLCANO. and pippin sobbing 'FRODO!!!!' ;A;

god all this lava and frodo and sam haven't got any shoes smh

'uhgh i had an awful dream where my finger got chomped off by this freakish little----OH HAI GANDALF!!!!'

his friends are so happy to see him, they are all so happy omg ;A; THE SHIRE THEME STARTS PLAYING WHEN SAM ;A;

tbh sam and frodo could have made out at ANY point and it would have been less gay than. whatever tf had been going on btwn them the entire trilogy 👀

aragorn singing all elfy adn handsome an di love him i love him i lo

legolas all done up as well, they do a mutual shoulder clasp and he's all demure they look like a fecking WEDDING ok they are getting married ;A;

lol arwen looking out from behind the banner like 'PEEK A BOO!!' always sends me 🤣

(another thing that always sends me: legolas and gimli keeping track of their kill count lmao 🤣)

AND THEN ARAGORN DOES A BIG SMOOCH ON HER IN FRONT OF EVERYONE??? INCLUDING HER DAD????? 😳

'my friends, u bow to no one' SIR UR FRIENDS ARE TERRIFIED (except pippin, he's ok with attention 😌)

THE LADS GO HOME!! SAM GETS THE GIRL!!! THERE'S A WEDDING!!! then the sad bit ._.

side note: galadriel is low-key terrifying and i love her for it. she is such a FREAK, idek how to explain it or why i think so but i just. do 👀 she talks and there's a reverb on her voice, she smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes!!!!! SCARY 👀

'not all tears are an evil' fuck u gandalf stop stabbing me in the heart over and over, ur bullying me ;A;

WOW NICE JOB NOT PREPARING UR FRIENDS FOR UR DEPARTURE AT ALL FRODO!!!! jfc u could have at least TOLD THEM, this is FAR more traumatic and shocking!!! >:V

awww he and gandalf hold hands tho omg 🥺

THEY'RE ALL CRYING AND IM CRYING AND IM UPSET AND BABY BIRB LEFT THE ROOM ALREADY ;A;

and then they SAILED OFF INTO THE SUNSET!! for some reason. (oh right!! great war allegory 😔)

TINY BABBY HOBBITS!!!

THE END!!

[balillee]

tommy's character gets far too much shit.

hi tumblr. i'm gonna need a few bitches to spread this post everywhere, essentially because i want someone, or just tommy really, to see it. so if you really want, you can screenshot it and post it on twitter, reddit, link it everywhere - go absolutely buck wild. i know he reads the VODS comments a lot, but they're chock full of people just insulting him, his character, his writing and everything about his story in the dream smp simply because they don't understand it and because they refuse to acknowledge his character's perspective (mainly because they only care about the pig). reading that many critical comments on something you've created can only make you feel worse about it eventually, and in light of all the awful techno apologist takes on his character, i wanted to basically just word vomit about how wonderfully crafted c!tommy is, as well as compile some other tumblr posts about his character.

there is a massive fuckin community of people who enjoy the character of tommy, because the character is incredible. i myself have made post after post after post commenting on and analysing tommy's character because i find that there's so much to pick apart. but that enthusiasm for his character only seems to be found on tumblr. reddit and twitter seem to hate his character, the VODS seem to be filled with comments from people who only care about techno's perspective (and treat techno as a reliable narrator, which, is the furthest thing from the truth - that guy lies through his teeth all the time), and the smp wiki is a hellscape of godawful takes and mistruths, not even on just tommy's character.

c!tommy is brilliantly acted and brilliantly written, and almost everything he does is either justifiable or has been rectified or admitted as a mistake. you can clearly make connections as to where he got his conclusions from. you feel what his character experiences, as a member of the audience, vividly.

if you look in the more objective sense, c!tommy, and this is especially in the context of him being the youngest character, is a scapegoat. people claim he's awful and destructive when in reality he's a lot less destructive than most characters on the server. a moment that comes to mind is where he diverts schlatt and quackity's attention from pogtopia by breaking part of the flag in manberg, and then replacing it so as to buy tubbo some time - he literally monologues after it about how he doesn't want to destroy but instead rebuild, and how he feels as if nobody else seems to understand that.

his arc in season two was incredible. it was very character driven, and it gave a spotlight to his motivations. at the start we see him in new l'manberg, and he's enjoying his time there, he's skeptical of his friend's presidency, but his main goal is to get back the discs so that he can stop dream and eliminate that threat. he made one screw up that didn't even matter to george, and he paid for it tenfold, even after dream had spent a while with puffy griefing the server and framing it on tommy - what tommy and ranboo did was convinient. then, in exile, we see c!tommy straight up get abused. he's gaslit and conditioned into being c!dream's friend, and in his brain he teaches himself that those acts of abuse are moments of bonding, and it eventually brings him to the point of wanting to end his own life - he's been torn away from his friends and his support system, and nobody will visit him consistently anymore because they only showed him pity, and all he had left was dream, who had hurt him.

but he doesn't die there, because while he didn't understand the full gravity of it back then like he does now, he recognises that dying isn't an escape, and he can beat dream, even if he doesn't know how. so this is where he goes to techno's place, and here's where the fandom starts to misinterpret the situation wildly.

it's the problem similar to when your parents tell you that they're owed something back because you put a roof over their head, despite that being Not How It Works. techno took tommy in and severely mistreated him emotionally. sure, and i understand this, c!techno is a bad communicator who isn't really that empathetic to anyone who isn't phil or wilbur, but that doesn't excuse the blatant lying to c!tommy's face, the guilt tripping, the friendship buying and the degrading. the day before the festival, tommy finally does something violent in his interrogation of fundy, and only then does techno tell him,,,,

that tommy's not equal to him, that techno doesn't respect him all that much, and that they're not friends.

from techno's perspective, and at the time, this was viewed as a positive development in their relationship. oh, he's starting to warm up to tommy! this friendship could really blossom!

no. from a more objective standpoint, what techno has just said to tommy is : 'i respect you only a little bit more now, because while you're starting to act more like me, you're still annoying and a burden.'

and i haven't even touched on the whole 'erasing the words 'Destroy L'manberg' from techno's to-do list' thing, because that instantly refutes the point of 'techno was upfront with his intentions the whole time' - because he wasn't! he may have said it the first time, but you also know what else he did? he repeatedly told tommy that they'd 'air the details out later' whenever the discs were brought up, and from a tommy viewer's perspective at the time, it was framed as if techno was no longer going to do that.

and i also haven't dared touch the 'i would have fought them all for you', because that's major guilt tripping if ever i've seen it.

so, the day of the festival comes, and here's where c!techno and his apologists completely misread c!tommy's thought process, and why he makes the decision he does.

tommy instantly regrets valuing the discs over tubbo, and it's framed as the culmination of tommy having become all the people he said he would never want to be like. and what does he immediately do? he tells tubbo to give up the disc, and he sides with tubbo. he puts his value in his friends, and, by proxy, l'manberg. and when he betrays techno, he tells him 'i'm sorry'.

from a more objective standpoint, tommy's time with techno is him valuing the discs over almost anything else. so, in leaving techno to be with tubbo again, he is valuing people above the discs. so when, on doomsday, techno says his 'discs aren't people' line, what he doesn't realise is that he himself fueled tommy's valuing of discs above people when attempting to fuel tommy's vengeance against tubbo and l'manberg. techno doesn't realise that he was an unhealthy presence for tommy, and an even worse influence.

what techno also doesn't seem to understand is that tommy never hated tubbo or l'manberg - tommy recognises, now at least, that his exile wasn't a product of tubbo, but a product of dream's manipulation, likely in part because at the time, especially with dream lying about tommy blowing up the community house, tommy was the only one who could see it because he had experienced it firsthand. so when techno sides with dream, it's like kicking tommy in the teeth.

and i want to mention that betraying someone doesn't necessarily make the person who was betrayed good, or in the right, or even justified, because tommy was entirely justified to leave techno. you know who else was betrayed? schlatt. but i don't see many schlatt apologists around angry at quackity for joining the rebellion.

tommy stole the axe of peace? good. it was a moment of tommy defining his self-worth, instead of having it defined by others. gone is the age of c!techno belittling him and deciding how much c!tommy should be respected. NEXT!

here's a moment i wanted to talk about that will forever be funny to me.

'i am a person.'

techno's very famous line from doomsday. techno says to tommy that discs aren't people, and that tommy should value people, despite not understanding that by leaving techno, he did just that. and what does tommy say in return, which has been omitted from every c!tommy-critical analysis, and every animatic?

'yes you are, but so are we.'

an acknowledgement of techno's hurt, to which tommy has already apologised for. a statement that says 'your hurt does not excuse, nor justify, the hurt you have inflicted onto us.' an acknowledgement that tommy has already learnt the lesson techno seems to be trying to 'teach' him. but you can't teach him anything by destroying.

c!tommy has had almost everything he has ever owned or built either taken from him or destroyed. ranboo even points out that the only two things of tommy's left standing are his house and his hotel, and if i'm honest, his house is dissheveled. it's a labyrinth of terror due only to how many times it's been torn apart. l'manberg being blown up didn't teach anyone anything about anarchy, or about valuing people over possessions. logstedshire being blown up didn't teach tommy to be obedient.

i could honestly ramble for ages about how nuanced tommy's character is and how much depth and complexity there is to his character's process and his relationship with others, but more than that, c!tommy is forgiving. he invites almost everyone who hates him to the grand opening of his hotel - if that isn't an indicator that he just wants friends, and not to be treated like the embodiment of evil, then i don't know what is. he holds grudges, but he doesn't really actively hate anyone, other than c!dream. but, we'll let him. c!dream deserves nothing but to be pummeled into the floor.

tommy doesn't spoonfeed his character nuance, and he doesn't really spell it out for his audience. he'll mention things like trauma and triggers in passing, but a lot of analysis on his motivations has to be picked up from what is said in passing or from what can be seen in between the lines.

i'd be here for hours if i were to talk about everything i love about c!tommy, because honestly he's one of my favourite characters, and there are so many angles you can look at his character from in terms of his age, his relationships with others, his motivations, his personality, his character arcs etc etc. so instead of doing that, i'm going to compile some much more specific analysis posts below to skim through because they highlight so many good aspects of his character.

^^ A thread about the 'yes you are, but so are we' line.

^^ About how shit the VODS comments are.

^^ A comment on how c!Tommy is actually pretty peaceful, and is actually less destructive than most characters on the server.

^^ Possibly the best c!Tommy analysis thread I've ever seen in relation to his trauma, which gives multiple perspectives.

^^ About how c!Tommy is treated as a scapegoat, and how, from an objective standpoint, he is no more violent than any other character, it's just that the little violence that is committed is blown far out of proportion.

^^ Tumblr user flypaw being a bad bitch, as per usual.

^^ c!Tommy being incredibly intelligent, and talking about wanting to rebuild and not destroy. A very underrated monologue of his.

^^ Something short about c!Tommy and c!Wilbur's relationship in Pogtopia.

^^ Less about c!Tommy, more a meta on L'Manberg. Really interesting to think about.

^^ A take on Doomsday.

I'll add some more posts in a reblog in the notes, but if anyone's post(s) is on this and they want me to take it off, let me know and I'll do that for you! Feel free to add your own banger c!Tommy takes or ones that you've found.

[keiarchived]

Anon: hey!! for the milestone event i’d like to request a mafia au where hawks buys the reader as a kind of sex slave and basically just uses her whenever he’s angry. like he’s having a bad day at work so he comes home and forces her to let him fuck her. he’s super rough with it with lots of dirty talk and degradation, possibly some bondage?? i also feel like the reader might call him master or daddy. and maybe some dacryphilia. i don’t really have any specific stuff for the reader, but maybe she could have curly dark hair (like me haha). thanks so much and congrats on 500!!!

Thank you! ♥️ Honestly mafia au is one of my favourite thing to write 💦 but also Master Keigo 🥴 Gonna do the rest of my requests as drabble since hc doesnt seem to do as well in terms of notes 🥴

Reposting it because tumblr fucked it

mafia!Hawks x f!reader

warnings: dubcon/noncon, kidnapping, trrrr*afficking, master kink, rough, heavy b*sm themes

Read with caution

Keigo — also known as Hawks; the mastermind of a rather large and famous mafia had spend a fair amount of money on you, there were few other options but he choose you. Maybe it’s those soft dark curls of yours that drew him in, or maybe those eyes which still have some fights in them when he first saw you struggling and trying to wiggle out of those curtainer’s grasp that day on stage.

You say you have no idea how you ended up in this situation, but there’s a few ideas lingering at the back of your mind. Nevertheless, here you are now. In the lap of Keigo with his cock buried inside of you behind his desk, dressed in nothing but a thin material of lingerie as you looped those arms loosely around him. You could feel the oddly comforting vibration from him whenever he speaks about this deal or something to the rest of those people, who are used to seeing the sight before them. Just their boss’s toy sitting comfortably in his lap, you could barely hear or at least concentrate on what they’re saying. Too focus on this throbbing cock inside of you.

Keigo had personally took the responsibility to train you when you first got back. He could’ve left you to someone else but he was doubtful, so to save himself some trouble he just took you under his wings. Ah yes — the first couple of weeks were interesting and exhausting, Keigo will always keep you in a constant level of arosual. The only times you’re actually allow to catch a break is during breakfast, lunch or dinner. He made sure you learnt what’s a reward and what’s a punishment, how there’s no escape but just accept it and maybe then you’d get your freedom back. Keigo is a man of his words after all.

And you did, Keigo treats spoils you rotten. You’re his little trained birdie, who will always comes back when it’s time.

“Master... my legs are numb...” You pleads with a soft pout, whispering against the shell of his ear. Only to earn a low warning growl and a squeeze to your ass, Keigo hates it when someone interrupts him during a conversation after all. “Well, you’re gonna have to wait aren’t you.” Stilling you with an arm around your waist, but that wasn’t enough to keep you from grinding against him. Series of soft and quiet whines falls from your lips, you know it’s effecting him by the way his cock throbs and his hand tightening its grip on you.

When Keigo is finally done with his meeting, you’ve already came at least five times. You wanted to play so he played, with you. Spreading you eagle with your back against his chest so everyone else could see you, cunt sobbing around his cock so desperately. But oh no, the night is not yet over. Not until Keigo knows you’ve learnt your lesson today, until then you’re tied up for the best of the night with a vib between your folds.

“What don’t you do when I’m busy slut.”

“Di-disturb Master so you don’t loose your train of thoughts...”

“Good girl.”

[mymelodyheart]

All I Want For Christmas Is You Chapter 2 ~It’s Her Cue~

Previously in Sparks Will Fly ...

A slap on his back tore his gaze away from Claire. "Easy now lad," Willie said in a low, amused voice. "Ye look like ye could use the same drink as her."

Jamie glanced back at the subject of their conversation. "Aye, but make mine a double," he whispered.

"On it," Willie replied, laughing as he walked off.

What the bloody hell?  He should be withdrawing himself away from this attraction because this mad instant bond between them was like an overloaded electrical fuse, capable of incinerating him alive. He'd already learnt his lesson from his last relationship. He'd been there and done that, but yet he didn't have the will to stop himself from finding out how their connection would play out.

Oh, Christ, this is bad. So, so bad, I'm in so much big trouble.  Taking a huge sigh, he found himself a stool nearest to the pool table and watched Claire steal the show from the best snooker player in Broch Mordha.

If you wish to read this on AO3, here is the link.

If you wish to read this from the beginning:

AO3 link

Tumblr link

"Just polishing my balls for the lovely lass, here." 

The people around her howled with good-natured laughter.

Claire kept her head down as she sat on the edge of the stool, chalking her stick, waiting for Hugh to stop showing off and blathering with his mates, and to finally break. She felt eyes on her, and when she looked up, she met Jamie's gaze where he sat with his brother at the high table. 

Annalise leaned in from behind her and whispered, "Ginger can't stop looking at you."

Claire drew in substantial deep breaths. She'd watched Jamie play shinty earlier, and she thought he looked impressive then. Tall, strong, lithe, covered in mud and the epitome of a Highland warrior. Not that she had any idea what a Highland warrior would have looked like. After all, she only had the movie, Braveheart to go by. But who would have thought he'd show any interest in her. Perhaps, because she'd probably looked like she was about to climb him. Who could blame her, though? The moment he'd looked into her eyes, he stirred something inside her, which no man had ever done before him. And by some feat of willpower, she wondered how she'd succeeded not breaking into song right then and there. Up close earlier and now, sat only a few feet away, Jamie looked even better. Wavy auburn hair touched the collar of his plaid flannel shirt and the way his jeans hung low on hips, it shouldn't be even allowed. 

"He probably thinks I'm easy. You know how some rural folks think city people like us have loose morals."

Annalise gasped. "Why do you think he would think that?"

"I think I came on too strong and flirty," she confided in a low voice. "He's a man, so of course, he'd respond, and it probably works a treat for him too since I'm only here for a holiday. But my God, he's one fine specimen of a man, isn't he? I'm even getting butterflies, and the last time I had them ...goodness, I can't even remember." 

"Don't be daft ...you don't even know what he's thinking. Besides, you're single, and you're allowed to show interest if you fancy someone." The ice in Annalise's vodka and tonic clinked behind her. "This is the twenty-first century, and you're welcome to it. Flirt away and get butterflies. Let yourself go a little. I don't know if it applies here, but I'll say it anyway ...what goes on in the Highlands, stay in the Highlands." 

Aww, bless her.

Claire was grateful for her friend's presence in her life. If Annalise hadn't been there to constantly coax her out of her self-consciousness and to confide in to, she'd probably still be living a secluded life, and London would have eventually eaten her whole. Now here she was, openly flirting with a handsome stranger and she'd agreed to let him take her out.

Claire smiled. "How about you? What's happening with you and Willie?"

Annalise made an exaggerated sighing sound behind her, making her laugh. What a tart! 

"Hey, by the way, Jamie asked me out. So I guess, after this game and a round of drink, we're going to split. He wants to take me on a Christmas night tour. Will you be alright with Willie?" Claire asked. She had to make sure as this was their holiday together and she didn't want Annalise feeling abandoned.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. The boys seem like decent blokes, but as a precaution, I took photos of their driving licences and sent them to Geillis. She'll have them thoroughly checked out. Really handy to know someone whose boyfriend works with the police."

Claire's eyes widened, and she turned around to face her friend. "You didn't! I told Jamie I trust him." Geillis Duncan was their mutual friend they'd met in London at a party. After hitting it off, they'd forged a tight friendship, and the three of them became close until Geillis had to move back to her home city of Glasgow when she met the love of her life. Claire and Annalise were going to visit her before flying back to London.

"Of course, I did, silly. We're both on our own. Just because we're on our holidays and having fun doesn't mean we have to be lax when it comes to precaution. Don't worry, it'll be fine." Annalise reassuringly squeezed her arm. "Speaking of protection ...do you have condoms?"

What!?!  Sex was the furthest thing from her mind. But she didn't have time to reply as she saw at the corner of her eye, Hugh finally, leaned across the pool table and broke. As Claire stood up to take her turn, their audience cheered and whooped. 

Ignoring the hoots and whistles, she watched in concentration as the colourful balls rolled, not one of them dropping into a pocket. She began to walk around the pool table, taking in each position of the balls as she tapped her chin. Alrighty Beauchamp, let's have a look, shall we? This should be easy-peasy, lemon squeezy. We'll go for stripes. 

"Ye ken how to play, hen?" Hugh teased, extracting laughter from his friends. "If not, I promise to go easy with my shaft." Another round of loud laughter ensued.

Claire ignored the innuendo, and the sally going on and focused.

First, I'll down that nine-ball hanging over the pocket and use the rail to tap out the eleven, crammed against the twelve. That'll leave open the six, thirteen, and fifteen. Once I drop the fifteen, using a little side spin, that should bring me to the other end of the table. Then I'll sink the eleven and the fourteen into the same corner pocket, gently hitting the ten off the rail in the process, so I don't get stuck later having to bank shot it. Knock in the eight, then I'm clear to finish it off. Good God, Beauchamp, you're so good.

Satisfied with her strategy, Claire leaned over the green felt and positioned herself. Although Hugh's loud wisecrack didn't rattle her, the intensity of Jamie's stare was another matter. Taking a deep breath, she redirected her concentration on her game plan and took her first shot and then another, working clinically and accurately. Unfortunately, their encounter earlier kept creeping back into her consciousness and playing in loops in her head. It didn't help that his scent stuck on to her when he'd caught her after the fall. He smelled of forest and fresh laundry. None of that heavy musky expensive perfumes London yuppies liked to bathe in. It made her want to lean in, bury her face in the crook of his neck and take a deep breath.

Bent at the waist, Claire stretched over the edge of the table and focused on the fifteen-ball and tried not to wince at the memory of openly flirting with Jamie. In her defence, it wasn't every day she was rescued by a very manly bloke who stared at her like he didn't want to let her out of his sight. She wondered if she'd appeared too eager and was totally misunderstanding the look he was giving her. There had been a hint of wariness lurking behind those beautiful translucent blue eyes when she'd agreed to go out with him. Had she said something to cause him to throw up his guard?  

Having gone to a Catholic, all-girls, boarding school, her experience with the opposite sex was limited to the ones she read in romance novels. Orphaned at a young age, her guardian uncle Lamb didn't believe, dragging her across the globe with him was an ideal way to raise a girl, especially when he worked mostly with men in archaeological sites. So he'd decided the best place for her upbringing was with the nuns, right through college.

So when it finally came for her to start adulting and dating in a big, bad city like London, she'd been like a deer caught in the headlights. But she quickly found her feet with the help of her friend and flatmate, Annalise, a Parisienne by birth and a Londoner at heart. The French girl had been a mentor to her, initiating her to the trappings of singlehood and city life. Though the dating and getting-to-know-a-guy part was also an exciting discovery, she quickly realised every date she'd been to, after having gone through a handful of them, was a recycled version of the last. Same lines, same latest fashion, exaggerated backstories and trying too hard to impress instead of being themselves. So at the ripe age of twenty-five, she still had to experience what it was like to have a boyfriend. Annalise accused her of being too picky, but Claire always reasoned she just hadn't met the right one. She'd envisioned her first boyfriend to be someone endearingly awkward, not too loud and maybe a little shy. But Jamie was the least awkward man she'd ever met. He was easy on the eyes, and he lived inside his skin like a well-worn pair of jeans. He was far from a starter boyfriend she'd envision - definitely, not a boy anything.

"Go, Claire! You can do it!" Annalise shouted at the sidelines.

As she marked her shot on the eight-ball, she glanced up at Jamie and felt her focus wobble a bit. When one of the lads emitted a low whistle as she moved her hips to settle herself at a conducive angle, he didn't have a smidgen of amusement on his face. More than anything, he looked liked he was about to knock the front teeth off of the offender.

She didn't want a pub brawl to start in her honour, even if it sounded romantic in movies or books.

Straightening up from her position, she gave Jamie what she thought was a sexy smile. "Hey, Jamie," she called to him. "You got that single malt ready for me? This shouldn't take long." She tried not to blanch for sounding overconfident and cocky. It seemed cheeky for presuming she'd finished this game in a jiffy, but the pleasure of seeing his piercing blue eyes creased at the corners was definitely worth the minor discomfort her behaviour had caused her. Oh, Lordy! There were hushed oohs, followed by a round of testosterone-laced jests, making Jamie shake his head in amusement. At least, to her relief, he stopped looking like he's about to wallop anyone. Trouble averted in the knick of time!

As Jamie turned to get the attention of the bartender, she quickly lowered herself back over the table in the same position and sunk in the remaining balls. When she finished, her opponent, Hugh looked, well …not the least bit pleased about it. It probably didn't help she'd earlier acted cocksure about winning the game and might have dented his macho ego in front of his mates. 

Claire watched Hugh purposely marched towards her as their audience clapped, cheered and teased him for losing to a lassie.

"Ye got me at a disadvantage. I must admit I went easy on you since ye're new around here," he said loud enough for everyone near the pool table to hear. 

Claire gave him a charming smile, even though she felt like throttling him for not being man enough to congratulate her. "I know. Too bad, you assumed I couldn't play because I have a pair of boobs."

Hugh's eyes dropped down to her breast, and his cheek twitched, as he openly leered at her. "I must admit, ye have a lovely pair, and it might have distracted me from playing a good game, now that I come to think about it. Ye ken what ye need? Ye need a good ..."

"Stiff drink?" Jamie interrupted as he handed Claire a glass of single malt. "That's what ye were about to say, aye?"

Jamie's words were mildly pleasant, but she detected the underlying warning in his tone. Hugh didn't look like one to back-off, but when Jamie took a small step forward, he eyed the height and breadth before him and thought better of it. Splitting a forced smile between her and Jamie, Hugh raised both his hands as a sign of truce and slowly walked back to his mates.

With a sigh, she placed her cue stick on the pool table and faced Jamie. "This is fast becoming a habit of yours, isn't it?"

"What?" he asked, taking a step inside her personal space. It was another one of his moves to add to that growing habit list of his. Her old fashion side, the side influenced by her upbringing in the boarding school, wanted her to take a step back. But the side, that suspiciously sounded like Annalise, was shouting at her to hold her ground.

So she held her ground and arched an eyebrow at him. "You coming to my rescue. Again!"

When his mouth expanded into a smile, she couldn't help noticing his full, beautiful lips. With a cleanly shaven angular jaw, they made him looked like an angel who'd spent time in hell. Her breath caught in her throat, and she quickly looked back up, hoping he hadn't noticed her wandering eyes.

His amused expression told her he had. "Ye could say, rescuing ye is one past time that's beginning to grow on me." 

She laughed out loud. It was something she did whenever she was nervous or when shyness overtook, and the most annoying part of it, it was almost always accompanied by a snort. She quickly sobered up. Acting like a loon was definitely beginning to be her nervous signature move.

As if sensing her unease, Jamie quickly changed the subject. "By the way, that was some show ye put on. Ye'll be the topic of everyone's conversation for the next few days. And Hugh the butt of jokes."

"I didn't realise I was playing with a sore loser," she said, taking a sip of her whisky. When the heat slid down her throat, she tried not to flinch. Acting cool wasn't her forte, but she was determined to work on it. "If I'd known, I would have given up my slot."

"Dinnae fash. Hugh's all mouth and no trousers, but he's harmless. So where did ye learn to play like that?" His eyes scanned her face, and he cocked his head a little like he was committing each of her features to memory.

"My uncle taught me. We'd play for hours whenever we get time to spend together."

"Ye're close to yer uncle. That's nice. I hope I'd be that type of uncle one day."

She beamed. Jamie looked like the type of uncle who would have boundless of energy playing with children. "My uncle's for the most part, both a father and mother to me when I wasn't in the boarding school. My parents died when I was young."

His face turned serious. "Sorry to hear that. My parents have always been part of my life, so I can't begin to imagine what it was like for you growing up without them."

Claire gave him a grateful smile as she pulled a vibrating phone from her pocket. "Oh, bummer," she whispered, glancing down at the screen. "I have about fifteen missed text messages. I didn't feel it going off. I must have been caught up with all the excitement of the game." 

He ran a hand along his jaw. "Some lad missing ye back home?"

She hesitated, glancing up at him. "No." She shook her head, vigorously. "It's my friend, Geillis." She skimmed through the messages wondering why there were so many of them. Annalise had sent the photos of the brothers' driving licences to Geillis, and probably something had come up.

"Is everything alright?" he asked as she continued to read the messages.

"It's fine," she squeaked, looking for any incriminating data Geillis might have found. She found none. Instead, what she was reading was making her face heat up.

"Are ye sure? Ye have a troubling frown forming on yer face. Maybe I can help."

She sighed and rolled her head. "Annalise sent the photos of your driving licences to my friend Geillis. And a selfie she took with you and your brother earlier. You know ...to have you check out and see if you're legit. Geillis' boyfriend works with the police you see."

He arched an eyebrow. "And?"

Is he upset? "Don't look at me like that. I told you I trust you."

He laughed. "Like what? Ye're the one who's giving me an odd look. I told ye I was alright with it. So what did she say? Do I get her seal of approval?"

She winced. "Yeah, Geillis says it's all good."

He picked up his whisky from the nearby table. "Geillis sounds like a verra nice friend. I think I like her already. What else did she say?"

She felt the colour drain from her face. "I swear you wouldn't want to hear the rest of it. Geillis is raving mad."

"Try me."

"I think we should leave it ..."

"Come on, Sassenach. It cannae be that bad."

"I'd rather not."

"Go on, humour me." His blue eyes danced, and she marvelled for the umpteenth time at how handsome he was.

"Well, don't say I didn't warn you." She shut her eyes for a few heartbeats and puffed out a breath. "Well, she said if you're the same bloke who competed against her boyfriend at caber toss last spring and won ..." Oh dear, God. "...I ...um ...I should let you ground my corn."

He practically choked on his whisky.

She grimaced and wondered if she should thump him on the back. "I'm sorry. Geillis has an odd sense of humour. I'm afraid it's just her way of saying that her boyfriend thinks you're ace ...well, that's if you're really the bloke who he thinks you are."

He recovered quickly and grinned. "How about ye? What do ye think of me?"

She ignored the question. "You haven't confirmed anything to me yet," she said, speaking into her whisky glass. "Did you really win the caber toss competition?"

He looked smugly amused, and the smile that spread across his face already answered her question.

"So you're a tree surgeon who plays shinty and tosses poles in your spare time ...whatever next."

He nodded at her phone when it lit up again. "What else is your friend saying?"

She put her drink down and glanced at the screen. "'She said, the men who participated in this year's caber toss, including you, posed with nothing on but their kilt for a charity calendar."

He smiled. "Aye, that's right."

"And she asked me to ask you if you're wearing anything underneath the kilt because I'm getting the calendar as a stocking filler."

His booming laughter made a few heads turn their way.

"See I told you, she's raving mad." She took another sip from her glass and realised it was empty. Ah, fiddlesticks! "I thought her boyfriend would have mellowed her down a bit, but I have a feeling, she's worse than ever."

He eyed her glass and grinned. "I definitely have to meet this friend of yours."

She felt a twinge of ache in her heart, which took her by surprise. "Annalise and I are stopping at her place in Glasgow before we fly back to London on Three Kings. So you won't be seeing her."

He leaned in closer. "I ken we've only just met. Ye think ye're going to miss me when you go back?" His eyes twinkled mischievously.

Even though she was a right bumbling mess around him, she had to admit she was having too much fun in his company. So much so, she didn't really want to think about leaving yet. Her mind was already racing and wondering if Annalise would agree to celebrate Hogmanay here instead of in Edinburgh. "Well, that depends ..."

"Depends on what?"

Her curiosity to explore the dynamic between them made it difficult to keep her guard up. It was useless trying to fight whatever this was when she was so drawn to Jamie. Surely he must be feeling this too. She swallowed hard and decided to be brave. "If I'll have a reason to miss you," she blurted out before she could change her mind. 

A tiny fraction of the playfulness displayed on his face was replaced by uncertainty ...and Claire's stomach coiled at the proof he wasn't prepared to act on the attraction between them. Whatever his reason was, she wasn't sure if she wanted to know as her guard began to scramble back into place. Oh, God, how could I be so dim? Maybe he's got a girlfriend or a wife ...

"Arbroath Smokies."

Stunned, she looked at him. "Wot?"

"Have ye eaten?"

"Uh, um ...not since midday."

"Weel, hard to fall in love with ..." He took a huge deep breath. "...Broch Mordha on an empty stomach."

"Huh?"

That playful smile was back on his face. "Have ye tried Arbroath Smokies?"

"No. I don't even know what that is."

"Ye have to try it. I know just the place." Jamie glanced over his shoulder. "Come on, let's have a quick drink with Willie and Annalise so we can get out of here." 

And then just like that, he wove his fingers through hers and tugged her towards the bar.

[hithelleth]

First Lines Of Your Last 20 Fics!

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favourite authors!

I was tagged by @eveningspirit, thank you! I always like to walk down the memory lane of my writing exploits, they are a nice confidence boos. :)

The Ice King and the Star Boy (The 100 | Bellamy/Roan | E) (aka the monsterfic, as you know it ;))

Banishment.

Impasse (Revolution | CM2 | E)

Charlie finds Bass stretched all lion-like on the king-size bed, studying reports, when she enters the tent.

(Filling) Empty Spaces (Revolution | Jeremy/Charlie | NR)

Charlie was just going to drop off the files Miles had forgotten again, but Jeremy waves her inside as he opens the door.

Only Human (The 100 | various characters | G)

“You’re presenting a puzzle to Rani and Lana.”

Lost (Yellowstone | Jamie Dutton | G)

The plaque on the wall is like a signpost. So, of course he goes to Beth. Because he doesn’t know what to do, whether to accept Rainwater’s – a good man, Perry said, and Jamie might be naïve, but he is not that naïve to think that if everyone plays dirty Rainwater is an exception – patronage or not.

Homework (Station 19 | Vicley | G)

Homework: Write a 100 words about your family or about what you want to be when you grow up.

Now Is Not the End (Station 19 | Vicley | T)

Vic waits with baited breath for that moment she is not ready for. Waits. Waits…

Thoughts on the Future Pasts (Timeless | Nicholas Keynes/Emma Whitmore| T)

The future is... confusing.

Dominoes Falling (TVD/TO | Elena/Elijah/Klaus | NR)

It turns out sometimes late is worse than never.

Close Encounters (Revolution | Charlie/Bass | E)

Bass gets to work well after midnight when the hotel at last falls silent, the partying vacationers having tired themselves out and the early-rising business people not yet up. He is done cleaning the pools before dawn and he sits down in a shaded corner, enjoying the peace and quiet of those last dark cool minutes that offer reprieve from the summer heat.

Reasons to Fight (The 100 | Clarke/Roan | NR)

Roan comes round to something tugging at his hand, constricting his movement. Panic surges in his mind for a moment before he pushes it down and starts cataloguing his surroundings with the methodical precision he learnt as a boy.

Prompts Exist to Be Filled (Revolution, prompt collection, various)

She was a good woman – Jeremy sensed that, although he knew her life had been – perhaps still was – intertwined with Bass’ and Miles’, which also meant that it was fucked up, because those two managed to fuck up everything they touched and he only needed to look in the mirror to find an example; yet, whatever it was up with her and Bass and Miles and however fucked up it was, Jeremy saw her effect on Bass whose eyes lost the glint of craziness and paranoia the moment she appeared: Bass suddenly seemed the man Jeremy met fifteen years ago – the Bass with a sense of shame for his blatant lie and a remnant of naïveté that used to drive him to do the right thing, a man redirected to the path he had lost.

Alien Encounters, Changing Fates, Business as Usual (Killjoys, Revolution, Supernatural | various characters | NR)

After what seems like ages, the turbulence ends with one final jolt that rattles every single bone in their bodies, a clear signal that they have landed – somewhere.

It’s Us Who Own the Apocalypse (Revolution | various pairings | NR)

2030

For the umpteenth time in her life, Rachel regrets getting involved with the goddamn DOD – and for the umpteenth time as well, she acknowledges that she would have done it again if it meant saving Danny – when she almost stumbles into her office from yet another meeting in which she had to fight tooth-and-nail against the bastards trying to use her work for their nefarious purposes.

Convalescence (Quantico | Clayton Haas | NR)

Clayton flinches when he hears the door being unlocked. He always flinches when someone is at the door, although he knows the chance of anyone finding him here is miniscule. The shame at his own cowardice makes him nauseous for a moment; he didn’t use to be one to succumb to fears, but he supposes a near-death experience would do this to a man.

When the Night Breaks (The 100 | Bellamy/Roan | E)

“I’m sorry about your arm.”

The Princess and the Pirates (Revolution | various characters | T)

“Sail out. My brother Miles is out there at sea. He’ll help you.”

Each of Us Is Broken, Always and Forever (The Originals | Elijah/Rebekah/Klaus | E)

“Good evening.”

Hollow (The 100 | Bellarke | NR)

He hadn’t realised it would be like missing a limb. Like in those stories he had heard on the Ark long ago, of a person’s left hand trying to scratch the right one that is no longer there, of phantom pain where there used to be a body part.

There’s a War… but All I See Is You and Me (Agents of Shield | Bakshimmons | E)

It is a stupid thing to wish, but if he were able to stop the time, he would freeze them in those minutes when Jemma giggles between kisses before collapsing on the bed and pulling him down with her.

***

Oh, this took me to 2015 and that shitshow we do not mention, although am sorry I haven't finished this particular fic (but I won't. Nope, nope. Because I'd have to rewatch S2 for that and no, no, no. No. Yes, that's how many no-s it deserves.)

Thank you for the tag, ES, it was nice remembering things I did well, if I say so myself!

It took me so long because on the day you tagged me I started writing it right away and then tumblr decided that e and l are not acceptable letters - I got scared my keyboard was dying, but nope, it worked just fine when typing in word or even into a search line on another tab in the same browser, but tumblr just wouldn't 'take' them.

Also, I remember doing something similar before but with only 10 fics and I could've copy-pasted that and just add the next ten, but do you think I remembered it before I'd already painstakingly did 10 fics? Of course not.

And then, as I think you saw I was too scatter-brained for anything.

Why I'm even explaining this? I think it's the lack of contact with like actual normal humans and this is the closest, so I over do it. Oh, well, if I've already put in the effort to type it all. ;)

Oh, right, patterns: I tend to really vary in style? Though maybe shorter openings are more frequent than more wordy ones.

And my favourite are those from Hollow, Dominoes Falling, and Convalescence. Which one is yours?

Tagging (if it helps you feel better, otherwise, feel free to ignore): @bea2me, @jadedbirch, @abedsmessedupmeta, @stargazerdaisy, @vesperass-anuna and IDK who ever is still writing, oh @blue-charlotte and anyone else who wants to do it! :)

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 16 + 17.12.20 lb

16.12.20

riddhima having completely opposite reaction to me, on discovering ki iss shakal ke do do bande ghoom rahein hain dharti pe.

hubs praising wifey’s intellect (he has a real low bar huh) in attached note and saying ki yeh birthday kamaaaaaaaal ka hoga.

meanwhile kabir has come back to investigate the trap door. bhai you keep saying “policewaala hoon, policewaala hoon” but i don’t see you actually going to work. “policewaala hoon” is this show’s “main AAAAADIIIINAAAAAGIN hoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!” to which literally all of us just respond, haan toh???? nahi matlab, sach mein.......... TOH??? hum kya hi karein iss bohut hi obvious yet useless information ke saath?

A+ hide and seek game going on here.

lmaooooooo iski shakal dekho, on being interrogated. he’s suchhhhhhhhhhhhh a shady fuck.

oh boy she said the word that shouldn’t ever be said to tellywood MLs..... “warna”....... it only leads to one thing:

yup. this fuckery.

“tumhe har baat kyun jaanni hoti hai??? nahi bataana.” lmao well, when you put it like that......

some ainvayi ka blah blah meant to deter her but only makes her more determined. coz hubs knows wifey veryyyyyyyyyy well by now.

also he just said that the raaz is “khoobsoorat”. so this has a positive result ultimately i think?

andddd he dropped a new aag metaphor: “aag dekhne mein khoobsoorat hai lekin usmein haath daalna akalmandi ka kaam nahi hai.” (remember when he told her as vansh wrt the whole ragini thing ki “aag mein haath daalogi toh aag ko kuch nahi hota, lekin tumhare haath jal jaayenge.”)

also lmao kab karti hai riddhima akalmandi ka kaam????? yes MO is literally just “is it questionable and are people telling me RIDDHIMA NOOOOOO? THEN RIDDHIMA YESSSSSSSSS.”

so of course she’s like fuck you i wanna know at alllll costs.

“yeh raaz tumhe ek aisi duniya mein le jayega riddhima jahaan se laut ke aana tumhare liye impossible hai.” ....... so exactly like being stuck in this house/family????? pfttttt, warn her with something she HASN’T been dealing with everyday for the past 6 months.

some more dumb mysterious metaphors and he finally leaves. 

NOW WHO THE FUCK IS WATCHING HER FROM OUTSIDE?????? OUFF THIS FUCKING HOUSE IS FILLED WITH CREEPS AND PERVERTS.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MIRROR KE PEECHE THERE’S ONE ITTTU SA SAFE  MADE SPECIALLY JUST TO HOLD ONE (1) THIN PIECE OF PAPER. AMAZING.

OH?

OHHHH??????

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

meanwhile idhar someone badeeeeeee safaai se maarofied the photo. ok you were spying on her from outside and knew that there was a compartment behind the mirror. BUT HOW DID YOU CRACK THE PASSWORD ON FIRST TRY??????????? IDHAR MERE KO APNA HI GMAIL TUMBLR INSTA PASSWORD 3 BAAR ENTER KARNE HOTE HAIN BEFORE IT LETS ME IN.

“happy birthday, Dollar Biwi!” mmmmhmmm got you all wet under the shower in black, Happy Birthday to all of us, indeed!!!!!

“i hope tum hamesha aise hi girti raho aur main pakadta rahoon!” snort. vihaan babu, permanantly yahaan ghar basaane ka plan banaa liya hai kya???? not even pretending anymore that he’s not in this mess for saath janam.

lmao she’s like fuck you i just wanna know the secret.

smarmy fuck is like hmmmmmm, birthday ke din bataaa hi doon kya? fucking tease.

he’s like ok fine, in the evening, at the party you’ll get a gift that’ll be your answer.

she’s like if you break your promise and don’t give me the answer?

“toh koi aur de dega.” this fuckerrrrrrrrrrr. he playing 3d chess, he fully knows what’s happening outside with the picture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

she’s like pls no one else knows this secret, i have hidden it verrrrrrrrrrrry safely; and he’s like, if there’s one thing i learnt from vansh, it’s that the walls of VR mansion are neverrrrrrr safe. kabhi bhi kuchhhhhhhh bhi ho sakta hai.

Chehra Appreciation Break.

she runs out and........... the photo is goneeeeeeeee.

riddhima constantly wanting to beat up/murder vihaan is such a Mood lmao.

anyway he beat her with the powers of Logic. and Handsomeness. mostly Logic tho.

so if he didn’t do it................. she concludes ki obviously it was kabir.

ok but what if it was ANGRE, who’s milofied with boss to give bhaabiji an excellent birthday surprise???? he too knows howwwwwww much sis loves to do jasoosi and play these games. MAN JUST GIMME MY V/ANGRE BROTP BACKKKKKKKKKK.

anyway, birthday surprise has now turned into a headache and hubs like oh nooooooo, this is not what i wanted???? i wanted her to be happpppy and enjoy herselffffff.

girl back at bappa’s sharan. coz where else to go, really?

oh shit dadi’s here ranting and raving about knowing the truth. ohhhhhhhhh boy.

dadi has decided to make herself the birthday candle that riddhima has to blow out.

man, the matriarch of the house is throwing kerosene all over herself and everyone’s just standing around watching, instead of intervening in any useful way. everyone just want that raisinghania $$$$$$$ huh?

oh. dream tha. this bloody show and its never-ending dream sequences.

waise bhi iss set pe roz 4-5 cake aate hi honge, toh unko bas stack kar liya, ho gaya kaam. production mein se extra budget nahi nikaalna pada iske liye.

V has specialllllllllllll gift for Dollar Biwi. yeh hua na gifttttttt. yisssssss gimme that USD, sonnnnnnn. exchange rate 73 touch kar gaya hai and the way it’s going........ it’s gonna reach even higher soon.

aslkjdaslkjdlaskjdlkaslksajd riddhima and kabir’s reactions. they’re honestly so fucking done with this asshole.

ishani like since when you have such a sense of humour, bhai????? arre tha hamesha se hi, tum logon ne mauka hi kab diya hai bande ko joke maarne ka? har waqt kuch na kuch kalesh chalta rehta hai iss ghar mein jo bechaare ko sametna hota hai.

kabir adding to anxiety with this birthday will be so special blah blah blah.

and now the cake R cut just exploded with red liquid that ishani injected into it. birthday ke din hi tum sabhi manhooson ko bachchi pe bhadaas nikaalni hai???? ek din toh baksh do bechaari ko.

LOL DADI KNOWS IT’S ISHANI AND SHE’S JUST LIKE

sab ka cake khaana khilaana blah blah.

hubs takes a moment to actually wish her sincerely with mushy eyes and soft voice. sweet.

ouff one moreeeeee surprise. aaj shaam birthday party. organized by kabir. greaaaaaat. 

riddhima’s face = mine when i too am forced into social events that i have less than zero interest in attending.

lmaooooooooooooo kabir called him “vansh bhai” and the slowwwwww turn V did to look at him like ‘bitch what you say??????’

snark snark snark.

kabir rolling out some tray and......... the episode ends. god this is so fucking boring so much buildup to a bloody partyyyyyyyyyyy.  just get it the fuck over with my god!!!!!!!

———————————————————————

17.12.20

K’s presented her with a buncha envelopes to choose the theme of the party or some such shit and riddhima’s like the fucker had put the photo in one of these for sureeeeeee.

Chehra(s) Appreciation Break

anyway she picked one envelope and there’s a letter from K saying i have the secret you were hiding, it’ll be out in the party, blah blah.

interesting thing is that this letter is written in hindi. the letter from vansh was hindi transliterated in english. hmmmmmm. i mean, lol, this has no larger bearing on the plot, just an observation i’m making and wondering about the show’s choices.

lmao he did this lil eyebrow thing that just neeeeeeded to be giffed. i love this face so much!

hubs is sensing something is realllllllllll wrong and taking charge of the conversation and declares party ka theme colour is gold, and that riddhima is gonna look hot in black and gold. uh....... ok?

everyone disperses and V is warning K ki if you fuck this party up in anyyyyyyyyy way that makes the birthday girl upset..............

vishal is making sooooooooo many amazing gif-worthy faces today. about time i make a set on him.

riddhima turning K’s room uthal-puthal to find the photo and obviously failsssss.

and he’s here with a bouquet of balloons and OMG BURSTING THEM ONE BY ONE LIKE THIS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

lotsaaaaaaaa threatening blah blah and riddhima is trying to reason with him and............ god i’m so bored.

“tum na riddhima bohut hi ajeeb type ki ladki ho. jis kaam ke liye mana kiya jaata hai tum EXACTLY wohi karti ho!!!!” hahahahahaha both her boytoys should meet up over a drink about this very special characteristic of her’s. they’ll find they have more in common than they think.

lmao literally noone else can make a party horn and the birthday song seem this hilariously threatening. i love him so muchhhhh.

behen is now crying in front of vansh’s photu. you know, to spice things up a lil.

saw some random photo frame sitting there, and just opened it and happened to find a bank transfer reciept from vansh to vihaan. for 5 crore. and on the 8th of december, 2017. ok but my question is what about the frame said ki open this and find exactly what you’re looking for behind the picture???????

storming off to find V and............

lo ji aaj ke girrne ka karyakram shuru.

lmao the contrast in reactions.

“kismat tumhe har pal, har kadam mere aur kareeb laa rahi hai, riddhima.”

he’s being very cute in this scene. he genuinely does want her to have a good birthday, it seems.

unffffffffff. aise na mujhe tum dekho................

lmao she’s like you are the singlemost biggest fucking reason of all my stress, birthday or otherwise. wtf vansh give you 5 crore for????/ he’s like patience lil birdy, the answers are your birthday present. it’ll come in good time.

she’s yelling at him for being so chill when kabir is about to expose them and he’s just putting it all on her saying you’re the one going down for it anyway. and maybe if you’d told me about that mysterious letter earlier, i coulda helped you. SO BLOOOOODY ANNOYING HE IS.

anyway he’s like don’t worry i’ll handle it. but you have to give me apni zindagi ki ek khoobsoorat shaam. which............... gross. didn’t have to frame it like THAT.

she went to slap him but ofc he intercepted. ugh he’s so massive how the fuck is someone to even subdue him????? god i hate men.

anyway she told him he’s disgustaaaaaang and won’t take his help and he’s like yeah but it’s not just about you, there are manyyyyyy lives at stake here.

HE’S SUCH AN ASSHOLE FOR PLAYING WITH HER THIS WAY. THERE’S NO WAY SHE WINS HERE IN HIS EYES. IF SHE DOESN’T TAKE HIS HELP, THAT MEANS SHE HOLDS HER EGO AND SELF RESPECT OVER THE FAMILY’S SAFETY. IF SHE DOES GIVE UP HER SELF RESPECT TO SAVE THE FAMILY, HE’S JUST GONNA USE IT TO THROW ACCUSATIONS AT HER CHARACTER. FUCK IT’S JUST SUCH A HORRIBLE, BAD FAITH EXPERIMENT. I HATE HIM. AND SINCE WE KNOW ALREADY THAT SHE’S GONNA AGREE FOR THE DATE OR WHATEVER, I SWEAR TO GOD IF HE SHAMES HER FOR THAT LATER, IMMA CLIMB INTO THE SCREEN AND CASTRATE HIM WITH A RUSTY BUTTER KNIFE.

the signal for the yes to the offer is a........ “flying dance” during the party. which sounds as fucking ridiculous as.......... everything else in this fucking show, i suppose.

LMAO SHE IMITATED THE LIL SMUG EXPRESSION HE MADE IN SUCH A CUTE/FUNNY WAY. WHY THIS SHOW DOESN’T LET HELLY ALSO BE MORE EXPRESSIVE WITH HER FACE IN A CUTE WAY???? SHE LITERALLY HAS A DISNEY PRINCESS FACE AND ALL THESE FUCKERS MAKE HER DO IS CRY AND SCREAM AND BE WORRIED.

what a fucking simp for his wife. i love it.

askdjlksjdlkasjdlksajldkjlkdjlkj there’s a watermark on the mumbai stock footage. this show gives nooooooo fucks about quality at all.

party time. and the lights have gone out.

someone messing with the electronic equipment in the worsttttttttttt fucking way, by putting kerosene on the floor and setting a fuse alight??????? like????? just cut all the wires instead of causing a fullll fucking house fire like this?????????

lmao ishani is like lights ko gaye itna time ho gaya, yeh zaroor riddhima ki kismat ka koi ishaara hai. sis you need to chill with the savage. ek din toh chhod do usko.

ok they’re really hot today. really fucking hot.

lmao she’s smiling but chabaa chabaa ke saying ki i’ll never say yes to your shady idea.

kabir walks up to her, gives her flowers, AND ACTUALLY THREATENED HER RIGHT IN FRONT OF V’S FACE. THE WAY V’S FACE CHANGED IN SECONDS YOU GUYS................

coldly impassive.....

...... to YOU’RE REALLY TRYING TO RUIN MY WIFE’S BIRTHDAY WHEN I EXPLICITLY WARNED YOU NOT TO?????????

..... to OH HE GON’ DIE TONIGHT.

.......... to silently giving reassuring look ki he’ll handle this.

that fuse is stillllllllllllll burning. at the fucking speed of paint drying on a rainy day.

speech timeeeeeeeee by kabir. and he has a video too. lorddddd.

V still cheekily offering his services, and she’s like bitch i did my own intezaam already. ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. kerosene aur fuse waala stupidass plan iska hi tha. should have guessed from the level of sheeeeeer dumbness that it was her and no one else.

lmao he’s like ok but this was too good an opportunity for me, so i counter-attacked YOUR counter-attack. that wasn’t kerosene. i switched it out for blue paani. OH GOD RIDDHIMA DUMBASS DID YOU NOT EVEN SMELL THE FLUID TO CHECK WHAT IT WAS??????????????

“kahaani kuch bhi ho, important yeh hai ki uska climax kya hota hai. aur iss kahaani ka climax tumhare saamne hai, riddhima.”

bitch yehi toh dikkat hai, ki abhi tak koiiiiiiiiii climaxes nahi milen hain issko. na vansh se, na vihaan se. what’s the use of all this thopda and ambidexterous haath if there’s no climaxes resulting from them? waste fellow. get working on delivering those climaxes PRONTO, sir.

[readerinsertfanfiction]

Arranged

Fandom: Naruto

Character: Neji Hyuga

A/N: This was supposed to come out last night but Tumblr messed up, deleted my blog and then ate the queue. Fortunately I back up most of my work as to avoid a broken heart. Find it on Ao3 (and me), don’t think I will trust Tumblr for another while. 

Part 1 | Part 2

Twice you had been honoured with a parade upon entering a new place. Two times that happened under wildly different circumstances and for different reasons.

The first time it was to allude to your position, instilling baseless respect from the commoners as you entered the Land of Fire. Your country had provided you with the people, dressed them up as they sent you off into a forced exile like a sacrificial lamb. You liked to think of it as a rebirth, a rebirth of a silent bird that was born dead from the start.

The second time was the welcome you received into Konoha. The Hidden Lead in collaboration with the Hyuga clan had made sure that you were welcomed worthy to your status as foreign nobility, but also as the newest member of their very own nobility. It was a different sort of parade, as it was much more humble, but also more genuine.

It all baffled you. Everything did.

There had been no carriage waiting for you. Though the daimyo had sent you off in one, along with plenty of his men, they all discarded you as soon as they reached the borders of the forests where Konoha was hidden. Their duty was done, now that you were in the hands of the Hidden Leaf there was no reason for the daimyo to continue the protection he had given you. You as his ward were now permanently part of his lands and thus the special treatment fell away. You had honestly expected this to be the end of your story, but the group that had set out with the fifth hokage proved to be different from what you had imagined.

"That daimyo really is too much," a loud blond male complained. You had learned that his name was Naruto, the Naruto who had saved his village from doom. Nothing from the stories you had heard had ever prepared you for the ball of energy he had turned out to be. However, his sincerity was every bit of what you had expected, lulling you into a sense of normalcy quickly enough.

"The lord had too much to drink, yes," you gently responded, eyes turning over your now fiance Neji. Over the course of your travel you had learnt that he was a reserved young man, not one to make rash decision unlike Naruto, but just like you chained by tradition and duty. It was that common ground you shared that had you believe there was a bond between you two. Smiling you gave the man a bow as your eyes met. "It is a game he often plays, but never did he have anyone respond like Neji did. The daimyo misunderstood when the proposal wasn't immediately rejected," you continued to explain.

Grimacing Naruto let go of a huff, eyes crinkling in disgust as he folded his arms behind his head. "I don't know why you would let yourself be humiliated like that, [Name]. For years even. Neji really saved you there," the male continued to complain to which you could only smile in response.

You weren't sure about the saving part yourself.

"Naruto is right, you know?" Shizune, the assistant of the fifth, mumbled. The pity in her eyes was clear, which you had expected as Tsunade followed:

"Neji should have rejected the proposal outright," the fifth concluded without elaborating much. A statement you wholeheartedly agreed with. Yet, here you were.

"It is the fate of a ward," you stated, head held up high as you eyed the group. Steeling your expression you maintained a placid look, a sigh escaping you as you focused on Neji specifically. "While I'm not without gratitude I would wholeheartedly understand if you---"

Before you could finish your sentence the make interrupted you, his expression as calm as ever.

"Quit the act, it is annoying."

Surprised you wondered where you had gone wrong. Straightening up you blinked, looking for answers with the rest of the group who seemed to have expected the response as they avoided your eyes. Was this how it was going to be after all? Instead of constant humiliation you were now charity, something to be pitied instead? Expression dropping you fist clenched as you gulped.

"Then why?" you questioned, voice hardening as you tried to hide away the pain that was welling up.

Taking this as a cue to leave Shizune pulled Naruto away, accompanying the hokage who was already heading off to rest elsewhere, as you faced Neji.

Throwing up your face you finally let the tears pool out over the anger you had felt for so long. The anger and hatred over the sacrifice you were forced to make, the humiliation you had to face. For once you didn't care that a stranger saw your emotions, tired of the constant pretence of having to be someone you didn't want to be.

"Why did you refuse? Why did you agree? What do you want from me?"

Your questions came out in a ramble, following one after another. Some meant for the main in front of you, others merely the expression of your frustration and your anxieties. The expression of the man remained stark as always as he waited for you to finish, letting everything flood over him.

"Why did it have to be me? Are you out to humiliate me as well? Or to use me as another pawn? Perhaps even kill me as soon as we arrive?"

Heaving you clenched your eyes, your chin dripping while you averted your expression, unable to hold your gaze up anymore.

Silence fell between the two of you as you cried your heart out, wondering why you had to break down now, as you desperately tried to regain control over your breath.

When you did Neji stepped closer, a sigh escaping him as he closed his eyes.

"I have no intentions," he spoke, his voice as annoyingly calm before he opened his eyes for you. A strange passion could be read in them, a fierceness you hadn't seen in him before, but a fierceness that spelled out devotion.

"I just wanted to set you free. Free from that place and humiliation," the male followed, his eyes flickering as his determination grew stronger. "Just like I have been released from my own anger."

It almost sounded like a vow in itself. One that quieted your mind and heart, forcing the questions to stop. Perhaps you were saved after all.

[amydancepants-peralta]

not a trace of doubt in my mind

(trying again as Tumblr ate my earlier post ... cheers for that!)

season four of the fortunate ones, my entry into the B99 2020 vision challenge.

not a trace of doubt in my mind

There’s a photo of Jake and Amy that rests underneath a heart shaped magnet on the fridge in Amy’s kitchen.  It’s been there since the previous year’s celebrations, anchored safely amongst the white metal after being rescued from the clutches of an overzealous friend, and for the past twelve months she has stared at it so often, it’s details are wholly committed to memory.  

It had only been taken a year ago today, but they seemed so young then; so carefree and in love - although neither of them had plucked up the courage to admit it yet.  

(That would come in another month or two, on a dance floor in the middle of the ocean where salsa dancing and bottomless shrimp were the most important things on their agenda). 

With scarcely an inch between them, this frozen in time version of Jake and Amy were simply two people rejoicing the freedom that came with finally acknowledging - if not yet in words, then certainly in actions - how they really, truly felt about each other.  Amy runs a finger along the edge of the photograph as she stands in front of it, lifting up the edges as though the movement could make her dress shimmer again like it had that night.  She envies the couple in the frame - they hadn’t had any idea of what was to come.

But then of course, nobody could have predicted six months of heartache.  Of Amy laying in her bed night after night, wrapped in one of Jake’s hoodies zipped up so high that the scent of him completely surrounded her, staring at all the photos of the two of them on her phone until she cried herself to sleep.  Of the pillow propped up in the bed beside her, pressed up against her back - a mediocre replacement for the real thing; but once she knew what it was like to sleep with Jake beside her, sleeping alone simply didn’t cut it.  

Months of dodging questions from family and friends and coming up with increasingly less plausible excuses every time his name came up, until finally under the cover of a room filled with music Amy had whispered the truth into her father’s ear, trusting that he would disseminate the information to the others with care.  Jumping just a little bit every time the phone rang, constantly living in a state of fear that this would be the phone call that told her what she was afraid of the most - that Figgis had found them, and that the only man she had ever loved this much had been killed. 

And then suddenly, he had been there - standing in front of her in a storage shed in Florida with horrifically frosted tips in his hair and a look of shock on his face, clutching his throat in response to the punch she’d just delivered.  He had been gasping for air, yet still he called out her name, and it was a sound she had begun to fear she would never hear again.

It would take a gunshot wound to his leg and a private moment underneath the flashing lights of the emergency response before either would feel like them again; but on the flight back home with Jake next to her, right arm resting over her legs and fast asleep on her shoulder, Amy can feel the pieces of herself that had been shattered six months ago finally begin to rebuild.  

She can hear him in her bedroom now, his footsteps creaking against the hardwood as he dresses from his shower.  It was comforting, to hear Jake move about with such familiarity - to open his own drawers and go to his section of the wardrobe: a part of him already living here long before any argument between who’s apartment they’re going to live in can be won.  

(And yes okay, Amy is always a fan of winning arguments.  But this argument in particular, she really REALLY wanted to win.)

From the corner of her kitchen the radio that had been playing some pop song switches to an ad for grout replacement, the overloud voice of the owner blaring from it’s speakers and startling Amy out of her reverie.  Tonight was New Year’s Eve, and despite numerous invitations from family and friends alike, Jake and Amy were spending the night in her apartment, just the two of them. He had suggested it a few weeks ago as the madness of the festive season had swirled around them:  a night that was just for them; where they could drink and dance and sing and make love as much or as little as they liked, and nobody could interrupt.  It had been such a sweetly romantic idea that Amy had pulled Jake in for a kiss as soon as he’d finished talking, and as of an hour ago both of their cell phones had been tucked away - do not disturb mode activated, not to be looked at again until the following morning.  

Reaching into the fridge for a bottle of orange soda, Amy glances one last time at the couple on the fridge as she closes the door, nodding her head to the beat as a new (and slightly more familiar) song starts playing on the radio.  The rest of her body catches up as she moves around the room, pulling glasses from their cupboard and mixing the soda with spirits, preparing a drink for both her and Jake as she dances around the kitchen happily.

The cap has only just been screwed back onto the bottle when two strong arms wrap around her middle, the familiar warmth of Jake enveloping Amy from all angles.  His breath is hot on her skin as he drops a kiss to the side of her neck, lips trailing higher and nibbling gently on her ear.  It’s a simple move, and one that he’s probably done a hundred times in the two years that they’ve been dating, but oh, how it still gives her tingles.  He holds Amy close as she sways to the music, hips locking up against each other, and slowly she melts into his arms. 

“Orange soda, huh?”  Amy feels the vibration of Jake’s chest as he speaks, and she smiles.  

“I guess you could say I’ve grown accustomed to it.”  Truth was, after Jake and Holt had been scurried into witsec, there were days that Amy had literally craved the flavour, being so used to tasting it in Jake’s kisses.  The oversized bottles that ended up monopolising the bottom shelf of her refrigerator had done very little to take the edge off - and served only as a placebo as she waited for her lover to come home.  

Jake lands another gentle kiss, this time to her shoulder, hunching slightly so that he can rest his chin there.  “Music, total privacy, my sexy girlfriend dancing, and orange drank.  This night is going to be amazing.  Honestly, whoever thought of this is a damn genius.”

A contented laugh falls out of Amy’s mouth as she rests her hands against Jake’s, linking their fingers together and squeezing.  “You just called my dancing sexy instead of dorky.  You must be in love.”

“Oh, completely.”  Shifting his hands to her waist, Jake turns Amy gently until she’s facing him, gifting her with a glimpse of his beautiful smile before pulling her in for a heart-meltingly sweet kiss.  

He had held her so tight the night he and Holt had to go away, tears streaming down his cheeks and pooling into her hair (only fair, because her tears had turned his shirt into a sopping mess), his arms staying wrapped around her waist.  His voice had been so heavy, so thick with emotion as he had looked her in the eyes, telling Amy that he needed her to know that she was the love of his life, punctuating his declaration with a kiss that had nearly set her heart on fire.  

He’d repeated the sentiment the first night they were together again, finally alone in the private hospital room that Jake’s being in Witsec had been able to afford them.  With only the steady beep of his heart rate monitor to keep them company, he had kept Amy close as he could while she lay on his good side, running his fingers through her hair and telling her over and over again how he can’t believe that she is finally here.  In the quiet hours of the night she learnt it all - the hot tub burritos; the terrible pizza and constant layer of sweat that remained on his skin.  Months on end where he couldn’t find the energy to get out of bed: that with not a single item of hers for him to cling to, the memories of them that would appear in his dreams was the only thing that kept him sane.  

But now finally - finally - with the masks of Isabel Cortez and Larry Sherbet long since banished to the back of their minds - night shifts were officially over and life was returning to normal.  And tonight was just for them.

There’s a steady tap against her kitchen window as rain falls quietly onto the world outside, and as Jake’s hands roam down from her waist and onto her butt, Amy sighs softly against his lips.  With her fingers tangling through his freshly cut curls, she lets the kiss continue for a while, allowing her body to be pushed up against the counter until she needs to break away for air, smiling as Jake rests his forehead against hers.  The pounding of his heart is obvious against her chest and Amy leans up for one more soft kiss, grateful to know that he is still just as affected by these moments as she is.  

Jake’s hands roam along the expanse of her back as he pulls away, his blinks as slow as his steps, and when Amy hands him a drink he smiles at her gratefully.  His hand pauses mid-way to his lips, his eyebrows raising as he begins.  “Oh!  I set up a surprise for you in the living room.  I meant to tell you earlier … I guess I got a little distracted,” he winks.  Blushing, she takes Jake’s outstretched hand, squeezing his fingers and following him to her surprise.  Her mind is doing a quick search on how long she’s been in the kitchen for - ie: how much of a mess could Jake have made in the living room - but no amount of calculations could prepare her for what her boyfriend leads her to.

He’d made a fort.  

In the middle of her living room stood a perfectly balanced mixture of blankets, pillows, fairy lights and bottles of wine.  Propped up by several of her dining room chairs, a soft cream blanket stretched on one side all the way to her television, repositioned to sit opposite the sofa for Optimal Fort Viewing.  On the coffee table sat a stack of DVDs (a healthy mix of her favourites and his) and two of her best-smelling candles were burning over in one corner - far enough away to be considered safe from being knocked over if any *ahem* other stuff ended up happening.  

It was the most dreamy setup; and something that a few years ago would have seemed completely ridiculous, but now that she was with Jake everything that once appeared crazy now felt … kinda perfect.  

Amy turns towards Jake, the smile on her face growing larger by the second, and tugs him closer so she can deliver a gentle kiss to his lips.  “This is amazing!” she whispers against him, and he nods, taking a quick sip of his drink before diving back in for another kiss.  

(And there it is - that familiar blended taste of Jake and orange soda and home.)

She loves him, more than she thought was possible.  Loves his happy smile; his arms that felt like they were made purely to wrap around her, and the way he looks at her like she just hung the moon (which, is obviously insanity - clearly it was him).  He bites his lip, that sweet little action that never fails to make her heart skip a beat, and another happy sigh escapes as he leads her to the little home he had built for them.  

Waiting until Amy has settled into her usual position - majority of her body leaning against his, lower body twisted slightly so that her right leg is thrown over his left - Jake dives into the edge of the couch cushions, digging until he pulls out his cell phone.

“Hey!  You know the rules - no phones, Peralta!”  she cries out indignantly, staring in horror.  

“Relax babe, it’s still on Do Not Disturb. I’m just going to order us dinner, and then it’s getting tucked right back into the bottom of Pillow Mountain, okay?”  Amy’s eyes narrow at Jake’s response, studying the sincerity in his face before nodding.  “So what are you feeling like?  Pizza?  Chinese?  Polish?  All of the above?”

Resting her head against Jake’s shoulder, Amy hums a non-committing sound.  From beside her, Jake clears his throat.  “Man, it’s a shame we can’t order from that Thai place that’s a couple of blocks from my apartment.  You know, the one that doesn’t deliver but has the really good Pad See Ew that you love?  Kinda makes you think that maybe moving into my place would be better, yeah?”

Amy moves quickly, lifting her head from his shoulder and dropping her mouth open at the sheer audacity of his obvious tactic.  Two can play that game, buddy.  “Sure, sure, yeah.  Except if we moved into your apartment, we wouldn’t be able to go to the coffee shop that’s right around the corner from here.  I’m sure you remember the one.  It has those chocolate muffins you’re low-key addicted to, and makes that coffee you can’t get enough of … what did you call it again?  Oh that’s right, the Elixir of The Gods.  We definitely wouldn’t be able to stop there every morning if we didn’t live here.  In this nice, spacious apartment that is definitely not covered in black mould.”

Jake laughs, rolling his eyes slightly as he brings up the menu for the nearest pizza parlour on his phone.  “Man, we are never going to come to an agreement on this one, are we?  I’m going to Uber Eats this sitch and just order us pizza and Polish.  Calories don’t count over the festive period.  That’s a fact.”

Amy nods, returning to her previously comfortable position.  “Good plan, babe.”  She pauses for a moment, shaking her head.  “As the whole apartment thing, I don’t know what we’re going to do.”  Her free hand snakes around Jake’s middle, resting her fingers along the side seam of his shirt and playing with the ridged material.  “I just … I love this apartment.  I’ve got a whole binder full of reasons why it was better than anything available in the market at the time.  And you’ve got practically a wardrobe’s worth of stuff here already.”

“But mine is in a cooler neighbourhood, Ames!  There are funky little pop-ups opening all the time.  Any day now, there’s going to be a stationery store for you to become obsessed with - I can feel it.  And … it’s cheaper, and closer, and …” Jake pauses, resting his palm on her knee and stroking there softly.  “I guess, now that you’ve shown me how to handle my finances like an actual adult, I’m a little less willing to part with my money when there’s a perfectly good option available for way less dollars?”

An argument over mattress replays in the back of Amy’s mind, and in an effort to distract herself she cranes her neck slightly, beginning a trail of gentle kisses along the side of Jake’s neck.  “We’d be sharing the rent, babe - not paying for two places we barely use.  We’d actually be saving money.”

She feels him swallow, Adam’s Apple bobbing and making his skin shift slightly as she continues her caresses.  His voice is an octave lower when he finally speaks, the hand on her knee tightening its grip.  “You know I can’t think straight when you’re doing that, babe.”

Amy nods.  She does know.  And so she continues, making sure he can feel her breath against him when she replies.  “Just think about it, Jake.  No thinking about which place to stay at each night, or having to buy two of everything in case you forget to bring it with you.  Just you and me, and a place to call ours.” 

Turning his head slightly, he captures Amy’s lips with his own, drawing her in for a heated kiss, moaning as his tongue laps gently at her lower lip.  “Consider me waving the white flag for now.”

She grins, moving her hand upward until it rests against his chest.  “Are you surrendering? You’ll move in here?”

“Wait, what?  Oh, my bad.  No white flag - Dido, nailed it - just ... no more apartment talk tonight, okay?”  Jake raises his eyebrows, eyes turning that warm melted caramel colour that always seems to have a direct affect on her pulse.  “I’ve thought of something way better that we can do with our mouths.”

A tiny kaleidoscope of butterflies begin to dance around Amy’s stomach, and she swears that she’s not a teenager sitting in front of her crush, but maybe tonight she is.  Her body leans forward without prompting, and she murmurs - “What did you have in mind?”

He moves away from her just as quickly as she moves forward, swinging his arm out in front of them and crying out, “Smile, babe!” - clicking the shutter button on his phone before Amy has a chance to respond.  It’s a mess of a photograph, blurry from the 0.03 seconds notice Jake gave before taking his shot, and Amy stares at him in confusion as he deletes the photograph, holding his phone out for another try.

“Ames?” He asks, raising his eyebrows at her digital reflection.  

Putting on her best affronted face, Amy shakes her head.  “Weren’t we about to do something with our mouths, detective?”

His right eyebrow raises slightly, darting his eyes over to Amy before returning to his phone.  “Ah, yeah?  Smiling is something you do with your mouth, babe.  Man, here I was thinking that you were the smart one.”

Smiling in spite of herself, Amy shifts her eyes to the ceiling.  “Whatever, Peralta.”

Jake’s breath is hot against her cheek, the sudden change kickstarting a parade of shivers down Amy’s spine.  “Don’t think I couldn’t see what you were doing before with those neck kisses, Santiago.  Payback’s a bitch.”  Her head swivels towards the sound, mouth already open for comeback; and his lips capture hers before she has a chance to speak, drawing her in for a deep kiss.  His tongue is gentle in it’s movements as it massages against hers, that familiar feeling of intimacy washing over her as he sighs softly into her mouth.  She’s absolutely beaming by the time Jake pulls away, tucking her head into her little nook at the junction of his neck and shoulder and gazing happily at Jake’s phone as he holds it up again for one last attempt at a photo.  It should have been impossible, to capture that amount of love in a single frame, but there it was - and only a few seconds later, it’s set as Jake’s screensaver, and Amy leans in to plant a tiny peck against the tip of his nose.  

“This is our first New Years Eve together where it’s just us.”  Jake mumbles, tucking his phone back under Pillow Mountain and using his free hand to knead the back of his neck.  “We’re at home, with nobody creeping around trying to take photos or whatever.”  His eyes land on hers, and Amy couldn’t pull away from his stare even if she tried.  “You’re not trying to find the man threatening to kill me, and I’m not halfway across the country with somebody else’s name pinned to my shirt.  Tonight is just you and me, Ames … and it really felt like it needed commemorating.”

“Absolutely, babe.”  Amy answers, leaning back in for another quick kiss.  The minuscule bulbs that stretched out over the edge of the blankets cast his face in a soft glow when she pulls away, and briefly she’s transported back three years; to a patrol car in the middle of the night with only the light of the surrounding docks to keep them company.  Things had been so different then, and yet somehow still the same.  (Only now, they get to kiss each other.  A lot.  And honestly, it’s the best.)  There were a lot of emotions swirling around her this evening, and for somebody who once knew the dictionary like the back of her hand, Amy is finding it strangely difficult to find the right words.  “You’re my best friend, Jake Peralta, and the love of my life.  You’re it for me.  And there’s no place in the world I’d rather be tonight.”  Her lips press against his again, moving her hands to the either side of his face as he blushes sweetly.  “I’m so in love with you.  Sneaky attempts at payback and all.”

Jake laughs, wrapping his arms around Amy’s waist and pulling her closer, pressing his lips against hers as she allows herself to be tugged into his lap.  She can feel her whole body melting against his as her arms rest against his shoulders, bending until her fingers are in his hair and his soft sighs are mixing with her own.  There are some things that Amy could spend the rest of her life doing, and this was very close to the top of the list.  

It’s a loud knock that eventually intrudes their makeout session, a mumbled delivery announcement barely audible over Amy’s TV playing in the background.  Reluctantly, Amy pulls away from Jake, reaching down to muss his hair up one last time as she stands, stretching out her limbs before walking over to the door.

The delivery driver can’t have been any more than eighteen: obviously ecstatic about working on New Years Eve with his wet, crumpled uniform stretched out over a Pantera sweatshirt; grunting in Amy’s direction as she takes the items, already turning to leave before she can even say thank you.  Kicking the door shut with her feet, Amy rests the pizza box along her stretched out forearm, balancing the container of pierogi’s on top and nudging open the lid so that she can breath in the familiar smell.  

 Mmmm.  They were obviously fresh - the steam still escaping - and they smelt just like she’d hoped.  Her shoulder begin to jiggle and; foregoing plates and cutlery in favour of containers on the couch with Jake, she makes her way through to the living room, butt shaking into a happy dance as she goes.  

Jake looks up from pouring out two glasses of wine and winces in Amy’s direction.  “Awww, honey.  I don’t think that’s doing what you think it’s doing for you.”

Bouncing onto the balls of her feet, Amy struts over to Jake with a curious look.  “What do you mean?”

He slaps a hand against the edge of his mouth, splaying out his fingers in a weak attempt to conceal his grin.  “You’ve got some real dorky dance moves happening right there, Ames.”

“Hey!  Just earlier tonight you called my dancing SEXY!”

“I mean, technically, I called YOU sexy, and then added the word dancing.  But then you said something about me being in love and I just really, really wanted to kiss you, so I just kinda went with it.”  His eyebrows lift, eyes turning soft as he takes in the pout that’s fallen over Amy’s face.  “And … ya know, if it helps, everything about you is sexy, Ames.  The dancing is just one of the more … I dunno, adorably awkward things you do.”

Settling back into the couch, Amy watches her boyfriend spread out their dinner order, dutifully laying out napkins in front of each before dishing out a generous serve of pierogis onto hers, lifting the lid on his pizza and grinning at the well-stacked toppings.  Pulling out a slice he grins in Amy’s direction as the melted cheese clings to the base, creating a curtain of strings between his hand and the box, and she cannot help but laugh at the joy on his face.  This man loves her, even with all of her dorky dance moves, and she just might be the luckiest woman on the planet.  

The hours of the night disappear amongst distractions; glasses of wine and hours of talking about everything and anything, until the quiet concentration of the last movie disappears into a serious session of kissing - Jake laying on the couch and Amy stretched out comfortably on top of him.  It had felt like forever since they’d had the chance to spend a night like this, and as Jake’s gentle hands roam over Amy’s body, she silently wishes for the night to never end.  The fort that he had made for them felt like a barrier - a shield protecting them from the rest of the world, and it might have been selfish; but tonight, this is exactly what they had needed.  

Tonight was about Jake and Amy: rejoicing in the fact that no matter how far the universe tried to pull them apart, the most simplest of truths was that they would always come back to each other.     

Slowly, Amy rears her head back; dropping a soft kiss to Jake’s swollen lips when he cranes his neck forward in a search for more.  Smiling, she presses her body against Jake’s, rolling her hips just so and biting her lip at his responding moan.  Beginning a trail of kisses along his jawline, she whispers into his ear - “C’mon, Peralta.  Let’s go bring in this new year with a bang.”

“Oh, hell yeah.”

Sometimes, the fireworks you make together are greater than anything the world can offer.

[memcaked]

send him home in a limejuice tub!

Source: Subarashiki kono Sekai | The World Ends With You

Relationships: Kiryu “Joshua” Yoshiya & Sakuraba Neku, Kiryu “Joshua” Yoshiya & Hanekoma Sanae, Sakuraba Neku & Honjo Sota

Characters: Kiryu "Joshua" Yoshiya, Sakuraba Neku, Hanekoma Sanae, Honjo Sota

Additional tags: Alternate viewpoint, Mostly canon dialogue, Week 2 Day 6, Introspective, Character study, Gift fic, TWEWY Secret Valentine, Not beta read

Summary: Joshua looks down at his hands for the first time. Almighty, almost a month and he forgot what it was like to be physical. Instincts, skin, nails - unchipped, rounded, inch-long keratin buried into the heels of his palms, threatening to break his skin.

Beginning notes: This was made for ShibuyaPharmacy as part of the TWEWY Secret Valentine event. She asked for art or writing with Joshua, Minamimoto, or Fret, so obviously it meant I had to enact one of my TWEWY ideas rolling around in my brain for this. Inspired by a tumblr post which I can sadly not find written by @/shadnoise analysing Joshua's body language in this scene, and pushed out today for my headcanon birthday for Joshua. Happy birthday to this anime game guy who hasn't left my brain for years I think its because we share a star sign

Body:

No matter how Joshua’s beams of light should be vaporising the Taboo noise the sound of them being Erased is always the same: screeching, scraping, like the coalescing of Shibuya soul and the something Minamimoto put into the refinery sigil roiling in its soul code. It's the same discordant chords striking their way across Shibuya this week. They’re awful, through and through - Joshua hacks on their smoke-and-oil stench, whether it's a horn or a kick or quills they leave his skin stinging and red. Taboo noise were nothing, a mystery untold until this week and it doesn’t do anything to convince him that this place can be saved when it's able to foster the frenzied supernoise brainchild of some young Officer with a usurper fantasy. Sanae would tell him J, you always think everyone’s out to get you, and he didn’t believe Joshua when he cited his evidence. As he feels himself falling out of the Noise plane he argues with Strawnae that his attempted murderer has learnt how to breed the dark arts and if he’ll even let him go he’s meant to be doing it thinking he shouldn’t be so negative and everyone he meets is an angel.

They drop back into the UG, or only Neku as he floats in the air. Down on the ground he’s planted to his feet, looking expectantly on wounded, Erased-to-be Sota. He should’ve put the unpartnered timers on their hands before he gave up his powers and his clairvoyance, has to count it by himself with one mississippi, two mississippi, three mississippi, four, without any ticking clock that he can see or divine when it’ll happen. “You OK?”

“Yeah... you saved my ass,” Sota cracks a half-smile, the muscles on the left side of his face going limp. His chuckle is half-hearted, a little pained. He knows his erasure is inevitable to be genuine about it, Joshua thinks along with eleven mississippi. “Heh, for now, anyway. I lost Nao... I don't have much longer.” He groans, body shaking as his voice cracks and a second of static courses through him.

Neku droops, his hair falling under his eyes, head buried in collar, spine slumped. “If... if we'd gotten here sooner--” Twenty two mississippi, twenty three mississippi.

“Ain't your fault, dawg. I wasn't strong enough. End of story,” He wheezes, gags a little trying to get the air back. The static flashes repeat, repeat, the pauses closing in. “Neku and Joshua, right?” Joshua lifts his head up, makes eye contact with Sota.

“Yeah.”

“You two survive,” The right side of his face falls. thirty nine mississippi, forty mississippi, “Get your old partner back,” He painfully clings to the last happy face he has, static almost falling out of his screwed-up eyes. “I hope all three of ya get back safe.”

He’s Erased with a buzzed heave, gone in a flash and a crackle. Sota Honjo, small-time criminal, Nao’s partner(-in-crime), joins her in Shibuya’s soul. Sixty mississippi. Neku runs into his spot, the crest of a building’s tall shadow, squinting towards the silver-lined rooftops. He shakes his fist, voice crashing up an octave, “Fucking reapers!”

“Angry, I see,” Joshua lowers himself down, huffing when he scuffs his sneakers on the pavement. When Neku whips his mink-lithe body around Joshua almost hears cracking bones.

“Hell yes, I’m angry!” The vessels in his eyes look swollen red, like if he has to feel for any moment longer they’ll burst into blood and tears.

“So what?” Joshua isn’t particularly interested in making eye contact with Neku - he runs the stopwatch in his head again. “At least you’re still in the game.”

Neku lunges two steps forward, the same shaking fist maybe two inches from Joshua’s nose. “Yeah, and what about those who didn’t? Screw the game!” He stomps his feet on the pavement and makes Joshua forget what he was going to say before he opened his mouth. “They’re people, not toys!”

Neku Sakuraba himself, grandstanding about people? People? The ones he was bemoaning a few days ago, the ones he hated so much Joshua chose him. He was such a rugged survivalist - knew how little time Beat and Rhyme had and only caved when they thought it was a good idea - and suddenly when he echoes Neku, Joshua walking away from this with a bruised bloody nose seems to rest in the balance of his outburst. The adrenaline of his thoughts distill into a slow cool-tongued mumble. “Why the sudden interest? I didn’t think you cared about other people.”

“No…” The taut muscles in Neku’s knuckle strain, his voice run ragged by his screaming? His crying? His energy?

The trail-off’s a chance for Joshua to load bullets into his barrel. “No what?”

Neku clears his throat and backs away, opens the sore fist into a palm. “Sure, other Players are strangers. Not just Players. Everyone,” Joshua looks down at his hands for the first time. “I don't know who they are, where they're from, what they care about,” Almighty, almost a month and he forgot what it was like to be physical. “But... since I came to the UG, I... I've talked with them a little.” instincts, skin, nails - “Got to know them a little. Felt them a little…” - unchipped, rounded, inch-long keratin, “Felt my world grow. Just a tiny, tiny bit,” buried into the heels of his palms, “It's different now. They're not just some strangers. I can't shut them out like that.” threatening to break his skin.

“My my,” He’ll understand, Joshua keeps assuring himself. Neku wouldn’t exactly be joyful but he’ll agree Shibuya needs to be shut down, die off with him. He’s - and a lump forms in Joshua’s throat - sounding like now, he won’t back down. “This isn’t like you at all.” He doesn’t even want to make eye contact. How does he get through to Neku? “Well, don’t get your hopes up. You’ll never really understand the people around you.”

“Enjoy the moment.” It’s what imprinting does to people but he only realises how wrapped Neku was around Sanae’s middle finger to Joshua’s crisis of function. Neku’s eyes shine, he mourns the Erased, he thought they’d walk together hand in hand but Joshua feels more and more like he’s reaching an arm out for someone crossing a threshold he can’t.

“Hmm?” Joshua imagines Sanae sitting on Neku’s shoulder, adjusting his halo and sitting in the white flowy robes he hates. Frustration shoots up his fingers and digs harder into his hands.

“Enjoying your world means making it bigger,” Joshua remembers how Neku told him of a girl who’s grip floated up and away from him. “I finally get that.” Joshua remembers that erased couple, arms linked in life, death, erasure, the erased couple who would hold Neku, Joshua, Shiki, everyone in their hands if they didn’t only have two. “The world as one person sees it is tiny.” Joshua remembers Neku, every day in his solitude admiring the mural, rubbing and caressing the wall of paint. “You've gotta... gotta reach out to other people.” Joshua glances back at Neku’s shoulder. He can’t see anything. His hands unfurl, hang free and limp at his side.

“...... Hee hee.” He doesn’t feel anything in his throat. “Maybe so. Only by allowing strangers in can we find new ways to be ourselves.” He wrings his body, one he needs to get used to. “It's possible. This mission looks like it’s up to us.”

Neku silently starts moving towards Q-Heads before stopping, staring over his shoulder while his partner stares at splayed hands. “Joshua?”

"Hold on,” he picks at his fingers, “I’ve broken a nail.”

Ending notes: Not exactly sastified with this but its been a busy lead-up to Valentine's offline and online, I'm glad this is done, and I'm happy if at least one person enjoys what I've wrote. Happy valentine's day, Jordan!

[swervingkpoptrashcan]

Do You Still Hate Me (Yuta Smut)

Summary: Something about Yuta rubbed you the wrong way. So is that why both of you are alone in a classroom, his hands forcing you to rub against his thigh?

Genre: Smut (filthy!!!)

Warnings/tags: Dom!Yuta, College!AU, unprotected sex, thigh riding, oral, fingering, creampie, edging, lowkey voyeurism. ROUGH SMUT Y’ALL

Word count: 2.5K

Note: I’ve been gone from Tumblr for like a year because of school yikes. To make up for it, enjoy this smut that’s earning me a spot in hell! (-: I appreciate comments and like freaking out in tags or reblogs btw hehe

“Y/N, princess. Late are we?” Yuta questioned, smugly.

You couldn’t bother to acknowledge him, choosing to roll your eyes and speed up. What a terrible start to the day. You woke up late and literally flew to school, only to realize that you didn’t bring your assignment. Now, bumping into someone you weren’t a fan off as you rushed to get your assignment printed, made it just a little bit worse.

“Woah woah, slow down, what’s the rush?” He asks, catching up with you.

You glare at the boy, “If you’re planning on skipping class, you could just not come at all.”

He smirks at you, “Babygirl, if I skip class, how will I ever see you?”

You nearly vomit on his shoes but you restrain yourself, deciding to walk away from him.

Something about Yuta just rubbed you the wrong way but you never did put your finger on it. The first time you met him, your brain definitely flashed heart eyes at him.

“Hi, I’m Nakamoto Yuta, communications major.”

It was freshman orientation week and you decided that joining the camp would help you with networking. Yuta was part of your 7 people group and you felt lucky that the camp’s best-looking guy was in your team.

Yuta turned to look at you, making eye contact. You quickly looked away, Yuta softly chuckling, as the next person continued. You felt a tap on your knee, and you turned to look at Yuta. He slipped you a sweet and gave you a smile.

The both of you were considered acquaintances after camp ended.  His reputation quickly descended into fuckboy territory. But that wasn’t what got you annoyed, maybe it was just his aura, his ‘I’m a big fucking asshole who can do whatever’ aura, that made you want to avoid him. Your friends theorized that it was because of the sexual tension, which you never felt. Except on a few occasions when he wasn’t being an absolute twat.

You ended up getting to class late and were forced to take a 20-mark late submission penalty on your assignment. That just piled onto your frustration and anger.

Wanting to just have a break, you quickly left class, checking up on your Twitter when you ran straight into someone, feeling something splash all over your shirt.

That was the final straw.

“Are you serio-“

You were cut off but a large hand covering your mouth before you could finish yelling. Glancing up from your shirt you saw Yuta, holding onto a water bottle.

“Hey calm down, everyone’s looking. Unless you’re into that, then be my guest.” Yuta smirked.

You held back whatever curse that threatened to fall out of your mouth, grabbing Yuta’s arm and dragging him into an empty classroom.

“What the fuck is your problem!” You yelled, dropping your bag on the floor before turning around to face the tall boy.

Yuta’s gaze instantly fell to your chest and that was when you realized your bra was on full view through the wet shirt. His eyes quickly flickered back up to your burning ones.

“Relax babe, it’s just water.” He shrugged.

You scoffed, stepping towards him, “Why can’t you just apologize? You were obviously in the wrong. Is your job just to annoy me until I get an aneurysm and die?”

Yuta took one step towards you, effectively closing up the space that separated your bodies. “I’m so sorry princess, it was my fault that I spilt water on you.” Yuta said, gazing into your eyes.

You were taken aback, he seemed genuine. His eye contact was getting a bit too intense, but a smirk quickly formed on his lips.

“But I can help you dry off, just take off your shirt.”

“Fuck you.” You yelled, shoving him away.

“Babygirl, I hope you do.” Yuta replied, grabbing onto your hands.

Yuta backed you up against the wall as you looked up at him. Your heart was pounding as he slowly leaned down and you felt his breath against your lips. You could feel Yuta’s hardness pressed against you and his eyes were focused on your every move.

“So?”

Once you leaned up to press your lips to his, it kickstarted everything. Yuta’s hands rested on your waist as his tongue slipped into your mouth. Your hands were pressing against his chest and you could feel his muscles shift as he guided you to the nearby tables.

“Hop on for me baby.” Yuta smiled, quickly walking over to the front door to lock it.

Once you were perched on the table, you could feel yourself getting wet as Yuta made his way back to you, eyes locked between your legs.

Yuta’s hands roamed down your entire body as he kissed down your neck. He was taking it slow, making out with you as his hands lightly danced over your breasts, down to your thighs, and over your clit.

You felt your panties get wet as he sucked onto a sensitive spot on your neck, his hands massaging your boobs.

Without warning, his hand went straight to your soaked panties.

“Damn Y/N, for someone who hates me, you sure are wet.” He groaned, feeling you through your panties.

You didn’t want to moan or react to him, but it was hard as he started working his fingers, slowly rubbing your clothed clit.

“Fuck.” You moan.

“Hm? What was that?” He mumbled, biting onto your earlobe.

You kept quiet, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of hearing you again. That’s when he stopped, removing his hands to grab your chin.

“I don’t like it when you keep quiet. I really want to hear you Y/N. Got it?” Yuta demands.

You breathe and nod in response.

“Use your words, babygirl, don’t make me punish you.”

You squeeze your thighs together, getting turned on at the idea, replying with a loud, “Yes Yuta.”

“Sir.” He corrects.

“Yes sir.”

Satisfied by your words, he releases your hands while his goes straight to your pussy. He pushes your panties to the side and softly runs his index finger up your slit.

“You’re fucking dripping, do you like fighting with me that much?” Yuta asked, removing your skirt and panties.

His fingers teases your clit, rubbing it in circles slowly before they moved down, slowly easing into you. You moan in response, feeling his finger pumping in and out easily, slick with your arousal. Yuta adds a second finger, slowing down his pace.

“What happened to that smart mouth of yours hm?” Yuta muttered as your thighs shut in on his hand.

His hand forces your legs apart, fingers curling against your walls, hitting a particularly sensitive spot. With a glare, he asks, “Are you going to reply? Or do you not want to cum?”

“I—I want to cum, please, I’m sorry.” You groaned back.

Yuta leans down to flick his tongue against your clit as his fingers continue pumping. His tongue doesn’t stop its assault, except for when he pauses to latch his mouth around your clit, sucking hard.

“Sir, I’m g—going to cum.” You whimpered.

He continues sucking your clit for a few more seconds before stopping completely, pulling his mouth and fingers away from your pussy.

“Too bad, you’re getting punished.” He smirked.

You let out a whine, your hands going to your clit.

“Touch yourself and I’m walking out of here.” Yuta threatened.

He waits till you stop your movements, putting our hands to your side before he peels off your damp shirt and makes quick work of taking off your bra. He wasted no time leaving in marks on your collarbones, trailing down to your breasts.

He lightly sucks on your nipple, his finger gently pinching the other. You could feel his jean clad thighs between your legs and you grinded against it, wanting to get your high back.

You could tell he was smirking as he rubbed his thigh against you, the increased pressure against your clit making you gasp.

Yuta stops his assault on your chest to hop onto a table. He sets you on his jean clad thigh and with his hands on your waist, he pushes you down against it. The friction between you and the denim felt so good, making you moan as you tried to grind down harder.

“Sir, yes, hmph fuck.” You moan.

Yuta starts to bounce his thigh, the added motion bringing you closer to your high. One of his hands trailed up your body lightly flicking your nipple.

“Are you going to cum for me, little slut?”

“Yes, please. Please let me cum, please.” You begged.

He kisses you, bouncing his leg faster, “Sorry but not yet, I don’t think you’ve learnt how to use that pretty mouth of yours yet.”

He stops his motions at once, his hands clasping tightly onto your hips, lifting you off him, revealing a dark wet patch.

“Sir no, please.” You cry out, desperately rubbing your thighs together to keep your high going.

Yuta pulls off his shirt and stained jeans, standing in his boxers where you could see a wet spot.

“Come help me baby.” Yuta commands, pulling his cock out of his boxers.

His cock was leaking pre-cum and you automatically took him into your hands. Yuta groans as your hands pump his length.

You kneel down, kitten licking his head, tasting his pre-cum. Running your tongue up the underside of his cock, you focus on where you thought he was sensitive. He groans, tangling his hands in your hair. You wrap your lips around his head, sucking teasingly.

Yuta’s hips bucked, his length filling up your mouth. “No teasing me, princess, unless you want to leave without cumming today.”

You start bobbing your head to take in more of him, feeling him hit the back of your throat. Your hands wrapped around the remaining length as you sucked harshly.

Yuta’s moans filled the room as you sucked him off, constant praise tumbling out from his mouth.

“Fuck babygirl, you’re doing so well. Your mouth feels so good wrapped around me.”

“Look at you deepthroating me, taking me so well.”

“Fuck me babe, you’re gonna make me cum into that pretty little mouth.”

Yuta stopped you right before he released in your mouth, breathily saying, “Not in your mouth, I wanna cum somewhere else. Where do you think that is princess?”

“My pussy sir?”

Yuta smiled as he led you behind the teacher’s desk. “Bend over.”

You comply, feeling your juices drip down your thigh. Yuta’s finger traces the wet trail, collecting your wetness before rubbing it on your clit.

“So ready for me to fuck you huh baby? Here’s what I’m going to do, I’m going to slide right into your sweet little pussy, fuck you until I cum in you. And you can’t cum until I give you permission. Sounds good?”

You wanted to talk back, but you felt Yuta running his hard cock against your slit, slapping your clit a few times, and you held back.

“Yes sir.”

Yuta ran his cock teasingly over your entrance, leaving you whining loudly. He positioned himself and slammed into you, turning your whines to moans as he pounded away.

“Right there sir, fuck your cock is so big.”

His hand slid to your clit, rubbing circles before he slapped it a few times, making you almost scream.

“Shit babygirl, if only you could see how your pussy is gripping onto my cock...”

That’s when you heard it, loud voices talking right outside the classroom.

“Where the hell did Yuta go? I thought I saw Y/N pull him over here.”

Sicheng. That was Sicheng, from your philosophy class.

“Maybe they went into a classroom to fight or something. How considerate.”

And of course, Kun.

Yuta slowed down but still kept thrusting into you. “Keep quiet. Don’t worry, I locked the door.”

You wanted him to stop once you heard the front door handle jingle, but the idea of almost getting caught made you more turned on. You bit down on your lip to keep you from moaning out.

“Locked. Try the back door.” Kun’s voice sounded.

Yuta stilled, and you heard him mutter “shit” before he pulled you to the floor, hiding underneath the desk. His length was buried inside you as you sat on his lap.

Footsteps entered the classroom, and Yuta shifted under you, making you clench around him. You heard him exhale shakily, as his hand covered your mouth.

He started to move again, and you panicked. As much as you wanted to cum, you couldn’t when people were a few feet away from you.

“It’s their clothes. They must have spilt their water or something because almost everything is damp.”

Yuta thrusted deeply, and you felt yourself come closer to cumming. He kept fucking you as the other boys stood and talked. You had started to bounce yourself on his cock, trying to cum.

“Cum for me slut. Cum for me while our friends are in the room.” Yuta whispered.

You took that chance, finally cumming around his cock. You bit down your lip, holding back your moans. It was one of the most intense orgasms you ever had.

Your pussy clenching around Yuta made him release inside you. You felt his cum fill you, dripping out of you.

The both of you stayed under the desk in silence, chests heaving, until you heard the boys leave. Yuta pulled out of you and helped you stand.

“Hm. I really filled you up.” Yuta commented, staring at his cum dripping down your leg.

“That was close.” You told him, trying to keep his cum from dripping onto the classroom floor.

Slowly, the pair of you started putting on your clothes, hoping to get out before the boys appeared again.

“Yeah, but it was good though, right? I didn’t hurt you?” Yuta asked, concerned flashing across his face.

You gave him a smile, “It was great.”

Yuta made his way to you, helping you clean off your cum covered thighs. His cum was still dripping out of you.

“You don’t need to clean off completely if we’re going for round 2. My place is empty.” Yuta suggested, a glint in his eye.

He pulled your panties up, seeing some of his cum still dripping out of your pussy. You looked up at him, wanting to say something, but he beat you to it.

“Important question. Do you still hate me?”

[balizardsnakething]

TW DRAMA AND ME ACTING ON MY EMOTIONS CAUSE OF THIS POST 

Granted I did post this after sending her an apology and I’m glad I now have official confirmation that she has seen said apology. The very fact that I have sent an apology means that I had got over the situation and just didn’t care about it anymore. I also tagged @toomanyfamdom because we thought it was ✨funny✨ and have gotten over the situation (unlike some). 

It should also be noted that I haven’t had any contact with Maddy since everything that happened and at least had the decency to send an apology and move on. Also, for the record, I had nothing to do with that list of toxicity. That list was put together and shown to me by my friends. I then continued to FORWARD THE SAME MESSAGE to Maddy because I disagreed with the list. 

Let’s see, shall we? Up first on the list of hell that I had nothing to do with (and disagree with) there is... “inconsiderate of time zones and peoples family life.” This eventually turned out to be accurate, not just for me but for many others. Madison would organise events like DnD games at UNGODLY hours in the morning (because she is in American time zones) and when us British people were unable to turn up she would kick them from the game and then proceed to shame their character for an hour. Granted her uncle did pass (im very sorry for your loss), but that had nothing to do with anything. Many of us (including myself) helped Maddy and were there for her, and I have plenty of messages to prove it. 

ANOTHER thing to do with time is when I was added to one of the greatest Instagram group chats in the world! However, my sleep was abruptly ruined when Maddy group-called the chat at 4am because she wanted to play Minecraft with a friend. Please direct call next time... thanks. 

Whilst on the subject of time family life, one of the most memorable things this girl did was shame me and attack me on one of the discord servers we were both on. What made this even worse was that I had an audition for a London West End theatre school which had the power to change my LIFE. And Maddy knew this and also knew that it was worrying me and that I was extremely stressed about it. You may say ‘oh, it's just a coincidence’. If you believe that please explain why said post tagged everyone and was posted 5 mins before my audition. Maddy knew this would stress me out, I spoke about the audition and my ability to read into things many times before and she knew this would get to me! A lot of the things Maddy did were petty shit, but then again, that’s who she is. 

Next up is... “shows blatant favouritism.” Well, it’s no surprise Maddy has so many friends! But which ones does she actually care about? My friends and I witness this first hand on many occasions, one of which being another DnD game where she was the dungeon master. Maddy made the turn order by (and I quote’, “the order is in who I love the most.” This caused some of us to feel a little uncomfortable, but we continued until Maddy put each character on a path to different destinations and explained which each path was. By the time it got to me, my dyspraxia/dyslexia couldn't hold the information, and I asked Maddy to explain them all again. Maddy agreed and but then ended with, “You just used up you go, Charley.” I was so confused! Apparently, explanations waste a turn??? But this was fine by me until Maddy explained the destinations to another player, but this time, she let them choose where they wanted to go instead of keeping them on the bench, awaiting their turn. Maddy would also allow people to have longer goes/round claiming that there was more to their story. My turn would be around 2mins where someone else would be 5. Again, petty shit which still happens to make people upset. 

Note: It was not just me who felt this way! Many others slid into my dms because they felt upset with how Maddy treated others but not themselves. 

Up next is, “making your best friend feel like shit for making a joke”. Another reminder, this list wasn’t written by me, it was written by my friend who was watching from the outside. And this is very true. I would often make jokes with people about Donald Trump and America because their laws and president (not anymore) were stupid. This always seemed to annoy Maddy and hurt her feelings. I would often make a throwaway comment but end up feeling bad about it because Maddy would leave the call. I always felt like I was walking on thin ice with her because if I said something even remotely controversial, she would not speak to me and leave the call. This really hurt me because I cared about my friends a heck of a lot and never wanted to ruin any relationships with them. I would send countless messages to Maddy, apologising and crying to her, telling her not to be mad at me. THAT 👏🏻 IS 👏🏻 A 👏🏻 TOXIC 👏🏻 RELATIONSHIP 👏🏻 One joke shouldn’t be the be-all and end-all of a friendship,, but that is what It always felt like! Also, Maddy never specified it was a trigger until recently, and even after she did say it was a trigger, I held back so she could feel comfortable. 

The final thing is: “made you feel bad for your emotions.” Madison needs to learn that EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT and that people deal with things in different ways. Not everyone is smart, sensitive or skinny like she is. Whenever anyone hurt my friends, I would lash out and act upon my emotions because I didn’t know what else to do. This is something Maddy heavily criticised me for and something that eventually resulted in me listening to high-frequency sounds so I could get rid of my emotions and feel numb. My logic was that I didn’t want to hurt anyone ever again by jumping the gun and acting upon emotion. But thanks to others, I was pulled out of that loop, and I’ve learnt to use logic and reason as well as emotion. 

As for “breaking my heart”. Yes. Our friendship ending did hurt me, a lot. Just like everything with you, it is very one-sided. I was reaching out, listening and trying to help Maddy repair relationships with people whom she’d hurt. We both said equally bad things which made the ‘relationship’ toxic, and I would just like to point out that the name, ‘evil Maddy’ is cringe and I’m ashamed I was ever friends with you considering you used that in a callout post. /hj

---------------

Sarcasm aside, ima be real here because I am not afraid to tell my side of the story. So, @ thenameisnoone / Maddy. Here is a long-ass response to the post you made about me. xx

Look, I’m not going to call you out or use Politics_notmything to cancel you because I’m not like that. I’m an actual good person who really tried with Maddy and dis my best to change myself to make her feel comfortable. I left a group chat with all my friends for a week and blamed it on ‘family issues’ because I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. I made an entire Birthday PowerPoint for her, which included some of my best and favourite bootlegs. I made a genuine effort, but Maddy didn't really do anything else but tell me to “calm down” or “not throw everything away and give in to anger or despair and calm down until you can think rationally and make a logical decision”. 

And I’m glad I actually saw this because this is a classic Maddy move. She argues with people, builds up a situation then removes/blocks them, so they cant see everything she’s saying about them (i have proof of this from a server im in.) It has happened before, and she manipulated people into believing her side of the story. 

“I am allowed to block people who lie to me about serious topics even though they have trust issues which makes them unable, to tell the truth, if it hurts them. I am allowed to talk to people who blow up on me before hearing my side of things where they would have realised what they thought is wrong even though I dont get back to people until 3am and decide to leave them on delivered/read for days at a time when I am happily talking in other servers. I am allowed to block people who accuse me of shit-talking them with my friends who I introduced them to (and I never do that) when I have only defended them and said friends genuinely were being nice to them even if they have proof. I am allowed to block people. Period.” - Maddy 

And I’m not saying Maddy isn't allowed to block people. It’s a free world. Im just defending myself :) 

Granted, Maddy did defend me and say that this situation shouldn’t change anyone opinions on me, and I can say the same. Just because I had a terrible experience with Maddy, doesn’t mean she is a bad person and I encourage anyone online who loves women’s’ history and WATT to befriend her. 

But being honest, she did also call me a bitch on a Tumblr callout post, so I had to come and write this all down for safekeeping and reblogging purposes. Im not a bitch, and that is why I’m not using my following to cancel her. But anyway,  we both had some shit experiences with each other so you can read this and make up your own mind even though I did back her up with the previous call-out post, sent her my support, apologised and didn’t block her when she was at a bad time in her life or when she needed help. If anyone has a problem with me posting this, please contact me via DM. 

Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said. I’m just tired of your petty shit.

[baronccorbin]

Perfect

Paring: Prompt: Reader had left Dean for good, realizing that there was not going back to him, and maybe there was certain angel right beside her just waiting for a chance to be with her, whether he realized it or not. My summaries suck. Part 1 Part 2 Word count: 3,783 Warnings: Smut, 18+

Author’s note: This are NOT new stories, i’m not writing again and i probably won’t be doing it for a looong time. I’m simply re-uploading the ones that tumblr deleted bc of the gifs they had. 

Soap and foam covered her hands as Y/N rubbed the soap bar between them, the hot water hitting her already rosy skin as she keeps rubbing herself to ‘clean’ her skin. She kept rubbing the bar along her neck, stomach and legs, trying desperately to erase the memories from a few hours before.

Trying to forget begin zapped out of her apartment by a troubled looking Castiel, trying to forget the look in Sam’s face as he begged her to talk to his brother. But most importantly; trying to forget Dean.

She didn’t remember why she kissed him, maybe his words were too painful and the only way to shut him up was with a kiss, or at least that’s what she kept repeating on her head. But in reality she wanted to show him, she wanted to let him see what he threw away, she wanted to claim him just like he had done all those nights they had spent together in the past. She wanted him to admit he was hers.

But the moment he wrapped himself around her after they were done, the moment he repeated those sweet words he always used she realized the great mistake she had made. Because there, on his arms, she found herself consumed by the sadness, the sadness of knowing that she didn’t belong in those arms, of knowing that the man beside her wasn’t the one she fell in love with.

And on that moment she realized that there was no going back to him, she couldn’t forgive and forget what he had done, how he made her feel. So she left the bed as soon as he fell asleep, quickly leaving him a note to let him know that it was over, feeling the tears running down her eyes as she dressed herself quietly. Not looking at Sam’s face as she asked Castiel to take her back to her home.

So now she found herself on her shower, the water set on high temperature as she cleaned herself from his scent, finally crying her little broken heart out. Realizing that all the rage had left her body, leaving her with an immense sadness instead.  

-

Six months later…

“Sam” Castiel called as soon as he appeared on the bunker’s library

“Jesus” he younger hunter exclaimed as he almost let the book hi was reading drop “when am I going to get used to this?” he muttered to himself as he sat straight to greet the angel of the lord standing at the other side of the table.

“I apologize if I startle you” the angel gave him a somehow apologetic smile

“It’s fine… do you need anything?”

“Yes…” the blue-eyed man looked around “where’s Dean?”

“Out” Sam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers “went to a bar… you know how it is, won’t be back until tomorrow… I hope”

“Good” the angel breathed out before sitting on the chair in front of him “I need your help”

“… Okay”

“Remember a few months ago when Dean was acting strange and putting himself in danger…” the hazel eyed hunter grunted in response “well… I need you to do the same… for Y/N”

“Is she okay?” Sam almost jumped, ready to aid Y/N if she was in any danger

“She’s… not taking it so well” the angel tilted his head trying to find the right words to explain the situation. “She’s fine, safety-wise. She has been on a few minor hunts; they went well I made sure of that. But she’s being acting so different from herself”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s been… drinking a lot, and having… sex, with an alarming number of partners, I know that is not unusual but for Y/N…”

“Oh… Wow” Sam muttered, not believing what Castiel had said. He remembered Y/N being shy and reserved, he knew she wasn’t a prude or anything, she was with Dean after all, but being with different guys… it didn’t sound like the Y/N he knew “How do you know all of this?” he gave the angel a narrowed glare

Sam could have sworn Castiel blushed a little bit before answering his question, not really looking him in the eye.

“I’ve been worried about her… She is my friend and after I left her on her apartment… she didn’t look good. So I kept going back there a few times a week, and there’s when I saw her”

“So… you want me to do an intervention or something?”

“I want you to go with me and talk to her, she lost a lot when she left Sam, she lost a home, and the only two friends she had at the moment. It’s not her fault” the angel exclaimed defensibly, making Sam look at him with shock written all over his face

“O-okay. Let’s go”

-

Y/N sighed as she parked her car in front of the little apartment she owned, the hunt had been easy but tiring, the demon gave her some pretty good punches before being killed and the only thing she wanted was a hot shower, some alcohol and her bed.

All her plans were thrown out the window when she entered her apartment though, as she heard voices coming from the living room; she tensed, taking the angel blade from her boot, ready to attract.  

But as soon as she entered the room she stopped, rolling her eyes and placing the blade inside of her boot again. Looking at the two big men sitting on her really tiny couch and discussing something on a hushed tone. She rolled her eyes before clearing her throat loudly, making them jump a little before looking at her with wide eyes.

“What’s going on?” she asked, but didn’t give the time to respond before speaking again “What are you doing here? How did you got in… you know what that’s a stupid question” she shook her head before looking at Sam and smiling a little “Hey Sammy”

Sam got up from the couch and walked the two steps towards her before wrapping his big arms around her and pressing her tightly against his chest, realizing how much he had missed her in those months he had not been able to see her.

“Can’t… Breathe!” she gasped out, feeling her lungs struggling to get air in

“Sorry” the tall man said before letting her go, a big smile on his beautiful face, showing that dimple she missed so much

“It’s okay” she smiled before turning to look at the angel, still awkwardly sitting on the couch “What about you?” she asked before walking around the coffee table to stand in front of him, she tugged his hand to ‘help’ him stand up and her arms were quickly wrapped around his waist, making him smile before slowly wrapping his arms around her as well

“Hey” she whispered against his shirt

“Hello Y/N” he smiled, making her remember about the first time they meet

-

“What do you mean with ‘An angel saved me’?” she asked looking at Dean and Sam like they had grown another head

“That’s what happened… we’ve been working with him for a few weeks, didn’t want you to meet him until we knew it was safe” Dean explained, taking a big gulp of his beer before shrugging “just if you want to meet him, though”

“He’s a freaking angel! Of course I want to meet him” she looked at him like he was crazy, making him smile a little

Dean closed his eyes to awkwardly start praying for the angel put as soon as his name left his lips, Castiel was beside Y/N, making her jump and let out a little yelp

“Apologies” the blue eyed man nodded his head towards her, apologetically. His bright blue eyes fixed intensely on her duller ones

“It’s okay” she smiled before looking at the brothers with wide eyes “you are the angel that saved Dean, right?” she asked just to make sure this wasn’t a joke or something

“Yes” was the only thing that Castiel could say before Y/N wrapped her arms around him, taking him by surprise and leaving him with no idea of what to do

“Castiel…” Dean started, laughing at the angel’s expression “this is Y/N”

“Hello Y/N” he muttered

-

A loud cough made them break the embrace to look at a really uncomfortable Sam, standing across the room

“Sorry” Y/N mumbled before getting some distance from the angel and her “so…” she rubbed the back of her neck before looking at Sam “not to be rude or anything… but, what are you doing here?”

“Castiel here…” Sam started, nodding towards the angel “is worried about you”

Y/N looked at the man on the trench coat with her brows furrowed

“Worried about what?” she tilted her head to the side, with the confused expression the angel wore all the time

“He said that you aren’t taking it so well… the break up and all” the younger Winchester started making her look at him again “he said you’ve been drinking a lot… and” he took a deep breath before finish his sentence “having a lot of casual sex” he said quickly, trying to get it all out and not repeat it again

Y/N looking at him wide-eyes, blinking a few times and letting her brain process everything. Maybe she started drinking way more than she used to when she was with them, and maybe the first month after her last encounter with Dean she wasn’t in a really good state, both physically and mentally, but she got better, she learnt to forgive him, not enough to go back to him but enough to stop hating him, she started realizing that it wasn’t her fault, that she wasn’t worthless like she thought, she healed.  Castiel had nothing to be worried about, especially…

“I’ve slept with two guys since I left the bunker six months ago” she blurted out before she could stop herself, feeling the heat on her cheeks after “I mean… yeah” she cleared her throat “I don’t know what he said or saw, but I have not been fucking around”

Sam looked at Castiel with wide eyes, feeling embarrassed of his accusations when what the angel had said was a lie

“What the fuck Cas!” he exclaimed “you told me she was a mess, you told me she had being with, and I quote, ‘an alarming number of partners’ and now here I am, making a fool of myself because what you said wasn’t true”

“You said that?” Y/N asked looking at the now blushing angel, he nodded slowly, looking everywhere but her “why?”

“You were drinking too much, Y/N” the angel started now looking at her with a pained expression “you didn’t drink before, and when I came to see you a few weeks ago you had a man here, and then I came back again and there was a different one” he looked down “I thought it was a regular thing, and I didn’t come back again, not to your house at least… but I knew this wasn’t like you and…” he took a deep breath “I didn’t like it, to think you were with some guy… it was bad enough to see you with Dean”

The room got quiet for a few minutes, letting Y/N understand Castiel’s words she was about to say something but Sam seemed to react quicker than her.

“So you brought me here because you’re jealous?” he accused, all the anger leaving his face, being replaced by… amusement? There were so many emotions on his face that Y/N had a hard time keeping up with them “that’s why you got some distance when she and Dean started dating?” realization was written all over his face, and then he looked like he was remembering something.

-

Sam and Cas were worried the second they saw Dean on the ground outside the bunker, they were coming home from a long hunt and the last thing they expect was that, especially when they saw him shaking and loud sobs left his mouth

“Dean?” the younger hunter whispered, placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder “what are you doing here?” he looked around “did something happen?”

“She left” his brother grunted, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands

“Who?”

“Y/N” Dean exclaimed, standing from the ground “she left, Sam! She found out and left! She didn’t let me explain, she didn’t let me make it up to her. She left!” by the end of the sentence he was yelling, using his hands to do sings that Sam didn’t understand

“She found out what?” he asked, not having an idea of what his brother was talking about.

But Castiel was a different story, he didn’t know, of course he didn’t, but it wasn’t hard for him to take a look on Dean’s mind to know what was he talking about, an inexplicable anger boiled his blood as soon as he read Dean’s thoughts

“How could you be so stupid?!” the angel exclaimed, making the brothers look at him with wide eyes “how could you do that to her? Is that a human thing? To have everything and then throw it away?” he asked shaking his head and before Dean could say anything Castiel was gone

-

“You were in love with her” Sam blurted out after a few seconds, making Y/N look at him and then at Castiel “you are in love with her”

“This was a bad idea” Castiel said, avoiding her eyes and taking a hold of Sam’s arm

“Wait…” Y/N said but it was too late, they were gone. Leaving her confused and feeling… hopeful?  Man, I only wanted to sleep, she thought guess I am having none of that tonight

-

Y/N signed for what it felt like the 100th time on the night, using her hand to wipe the fogged mirror and look at herself. She picked the comb from the sink and ran it throw her head to de-tangle her wet hair, her mind however kept repeating Sam’s words over and over again. Is Castiel really in love with me? She kept asking herself, but shaking her head after a few minutes, realizing how ridiculous it was for her to think about an angel of the Lord being interested in anybody.

She wrapped herself with a towel before leaving the bathroom and walk through the little hall towards her bedroom, she opened the door and was about the remove the towel when she looked up to the bed, she froze instantly when he was Castiel sitting on his bed, momentarily looking at the floor but as soon as he heard her gasp he looked up, his intense gaze meeting hers.

“Y/N” he said after a few minutes of silence “I came here to apologize” he added before she could say anything “my actions were wrong and Sam also said that I could have offended you by my accusations , also I have no right to be ‘jealous’ as Sam said an-“

“Were you, though?” she asked, not letting him finish “were you jealous?” she asked again as she closed the door behind her.

“I… I suppose I was” Castiel looked down again “I had never felt anything like that before; I was not familiarized with the feeling, I felt anger every time Dean took you into his arms, I felt… envy, because he was able to kiss you or hug you and I wasn't”

“Castiel…” she started, walking closer towards him, it only took her three long steps to be in front of him

“I didn’t understand, Y/N…” he shook his head before looking up at you “I still don’t understand how he could do something so stupid, he had the most beautiful creature all for himself and yet he managed to ruin it”

Y/N felt tears forming on her eyes, her heart was beating faster with each word that left his mouth and an inexplicable wave of happiness washed over her body, she had never felt so beautiful than under Castiel’s gaze. No one had ever made her feel so special or wanted

She couldn’t find the right words to express her feelings, she knew that she would start crying the moment she’d let a few words out. So she decided that it was better if she just showed him how she felt.

She cupped his face with both hands, caressing his cheeks with the pads of her thumbs, smiling sweetly at him before lowering herself until her lips were an inch apart from his, letting him decide if he really wanted her or not.

Castiel froze for a few seconds, but when he understood what was happening he quickly acted, pressing his lips to hers and molding them slowly together, trying to savor the feeling of her plump, soft lips against his slight chap ones. Y/N smiled against his lips before removing her hands from his face, opting for wrapping them around his neck as she moved to straddle his hips.

“Too much?” she asked against his lips as he grunted

“Not enough” he answered before tilting his head to kiss her deeply, his hands resting on her hips as he brought her closer to his body, soft moans leaving her mouth when his tongue teased her bottom lip

Y/N opened her mouth, letting him taste her minty breath as his tongue danced with hers, she let herself lose on the kiss, only enjoying the feeling of her hot mouth against hers and his hands roaming the sides of her body.

Castiel moaned as she rocked herself forward, rubbing his erection with his naked core, he broke the kiss, letting her catch her breath as his lips explored the soft skin of her neck, kissing and nipping his way towards the center of her chest. He grabbed the hem of the towel and looked at her like he was asking for permission.

Y/N nodded, biting her bottom lips as she watched him remove the towel from her naked body, smiling when she heard him mutter the word ‘perfect’ under his breath as his eyes roamed her naked form, from her neck to her breasts, then he let his gaze linger for a minute on her erected nipples before looking at her stomach and lastly her core pressed against his covered cock.

He looked at her on the eyes again before repeating the word ‘perfect’ before lowering his face towards her chest, leaving a few wet kisses on the valley between her breasts, his hands roaming her back softly making her arch towards him. Castiel smiled against her skin, leaving a last kiss in the middle of her chest before moving her mouth towards one hardened nipple, blowing air on the skin to see if he could get a reaction from that.

His smile widened when she let out a soft moan, encoring him to take the nipple inside of his mouth, making her moan loudly this time as he sucked it softly, lapping the skin wet skin with his tongue

“Castiel…” she breathed out, feeling every tug of her nipple going straight to her core, making her walls clench in need

“Mmm” he hummed against her flesh, making her eyes roll back in pleasure as the vibration hit her. Y/N mewled; running her fingers through his hair and tugging his head towards her other nipple, making Castiel letting go of her with a loud ‘pop’ before giving the other the same treatment.

Once he was done with her breasts his lips returned towards hers, kissing her deeply as his hands roamed her ass, groping her cheeks softly making her moan against his lips.

“Castiel, please” she breathed out against the angel’s lips, and that was everything Castiel needed before turning her around and let her fall softly on the bed, he waved his hand to get rid of his clothes before hovering her, his hot skin pressed deliciously against hers

She quickly wrapped her legs around his waist, meaning as she felt his hardened length rubbing against her wet folds. Castiel kissed her once more, before grabbing his cock and position it against her wanting entrance

“Will you let me have you?” he asked, making her smile brightly

“You already do” she whispered and now was his turn to smile

Castiel began thrusting his hips, letting his cock enter her slowly, both of the moaning at the feeling, he kept thrusting until he was fully inside of her, stopping to let her adjust to his size. His hands roamed the sides of her body, enjoying the feeling of her curves against his palm and her hot walls around his cock. She cupped his face again and brought his lips towards hers, kissing him sloppy until she felt it was time to let him move.

Y/N nodded, letting him know it was okay for him to move. He started pulling out of her, loving the little gasps that escaped from her mouth as he began to thrust into her again. Her fingers grabbed his shoulders as she moaned loudly, feeling the tip of his cock hitting the spot within her that made her see white.

Castiel noticed, and he grabbed her legs, unwrapping them from his waist and lifting them just enough to make his cock hit the same spot every time his cock entered her.  

“Castiel” she moaned loudly when he hit the spot over and over again, her walls clenching around his cock, dragging loud grunts from the back of his throat as he felt his orgasm approaching him

Y/N used her hands to press his lower back, making his pelvis rub against her swollen clit with each one of his thrust. Castiel’s lips crashed against hers once more, kissing her hard as they both felt ready to explode.

“Y/N…” Castiel moaned as he felt her walls clenching around him, her hot cum coating his cock as she arched her back and yelled his name over and over again, he felt himself twitch inside of her before hastily join her in the orgasmic bliss, shooting his hot side deep inside of her, both looking at each other with clouded eyes and open mouths.

Castiel kept thrusting into her, softly just to get as much of her orgasm as he could before pulling his soft cock out of her, falling on the free spot on the bed. He smiled as Y/N rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him

“That was…” she started but lost her words as she looked up to him

“Perfect” he smiled down, dropping a little kiss on her nose

“Perfect”

[aleteia-ff]

Can you tell us more about Hamish Hofferson? I know you are thinking about a sequel, but I am already in love with him. Is there anything you can tell us, without giving too much away? (Btw, I found pota two days before you posted the last chapter. I dont think I stopped reading. My only breaks where work and sleep. I was super sad that the last chapter wasnt out yet, went to your tumblr to see if you had updates etc. and ,booom, link to the last chapter. I was so freaking happy! )

Hey Anon, I waited a bit with answering this ask until there was a safe amount of time from the publication of the final chapter. I hope you don’t mind! Didn’t want to spoil people ^^ Love hearing that you binged it, that’s such a compliment! 

Spoilers for Phantom of the Arena below!

I know, Hamish… He’s everything. It’s such an adorable little guy and he makes it terribly hard not to fall completely in love with him. And yes, I can share some headcanons I have about him as a baby/little kid! 

Hamish’s first word is ‘mama’

Mini-Toothless is Hamish’s favourite toy, by far. When he gets older, he carries it everywhere. He likes to pretend he has to take care of the dragon like he knows his father does with the real Toothless. 

He loves dragons in general, even though he has never really seen one; Astrid has told him lots of stories about them, and about his father, and he loves to go through Hiccup’s Book of Dragons to look at the pictures and read the few words he can read already

He is slightly small for his age (although not as small as Hiccup was), but he’s very fast regardless and seems to have inherited some of Astrid’s athleticism. He’s an active child and very prone to running away as he simply wants to explore everything around him, and he hasn’t managed to find every hidden corner of Berk yet. Astrid no longer has to do cardio workout as a result; Hamish keeps her busy enough. 

Only time he sits still and stays silent is when he’s drawing, or when he sits in with grandpa Stoick at village meetings, even if he doesn’t really understand what’s going on, he wants to, he knows grandpa’s job is important after all

Life on Berk got a lot harder the day Hamish learnt how to ask the question “why?”

He develops the habit of gesturing with his hands a lot when he talks, which both melts and breaks Astrid’s heart 

He loves to get to high places and frequently climbs on things only to jump back off later. It gives Astrid a heart-attack every time, and even though Hamish broke his leg when he was 3, he didn’t exactly get more careful. 

He’s best friends with Snotlout & Ruffnut’s daughter, Solveig, and they often play together while Uncle Tuffnut babysits them. He thinks Tuffnut is really cool. 

Gosh I just love him so much.