#yes i do use sci hub and co

[brandinotbroke]

I'm currently researching for my master's thesis and god DAMN do i hate paywalls

like there are some papers that I *might* use for my thesis but i don't know because they are paywalled and I am not going to pay for them if I don't even know if they'll be useful???

i understand these people need to make money but we gotta come up with a better monetizing strategy for academic literature because this is ridiculous

[d00dt00nz]

So there's gonna be a super secret moon hub world in Rosie Planet. It's gonna have this music in it. I guess it's not secret anymore, oh well.

Basically I wanted the music to be something stark and mean sounding but also mysterious. I kinda had the moon theme from FF4 in mind - there aren't many "moon themes" to use as a reference, after all. I like the idea of droney sci fi music. Blade Running 2049, for instance, has an incredible score (despite being composed by Hanz Zimmer, the music world's biggest hack!) I spent a lot of time getting the drone right. There's a cool album called Earth 2 which is apparently credited with inventing drone metal. Yes, it's a cliche in certain circles, but I really like it! Sometimes I put it on the stereo at work to piss off and confuse my co-workers!

I'm not 100% satisfied with this track. I'm posting it because I'm pretty sure I'll keep it the way it is. Sometimes the mastering makes the volume levels get kinda weird, but I'm not sure if I mind it or not. I think it makes for a neat hypnotic effect. On the other hand it ruins the all-important drone, so I'm not sure. Plus it's bad mastering, but that's okay because I'm bad at mastering. There's also a bigger issue where the phrasing feels a little bit awkward. It feels like the song should go in a direction and then it doesn't, and then it goes in that direction a little later. I don't really think the effect sounds intentional, even though I did intent for it to be like that. I'm still debating chopping it out, but it'd be pretty hard to do that without a lot of work, so I.... uh, really don't want to. My girlfriend said she likes it - and before you say "okay, she's your girlfriend", she actually liked this one, I can tell.

[pixie-likes-dramas]

Ima link some articles below that might be behind a paywall so please dont use sci hub to unlock these articles, give shitty publishers your money

I talk with my friend about this all the time cos I've read works that cite yaoi and BLs as a subgenre of LGBT media, but what makes it so different from LGBT media that it requires a subgenre? Is it the view that the novels are written by seemingly straight women for seemingly straight women? Does that invalidate its queerness? Or does it make the content seem like if these characters were straight then the story would be exactly the same? Because of course that leads us to the criticism of queer stories that have a character's orientation as a plot point implying that only struggle makes a queer story. Even when we know that queer people enjoy BLs and yaoi. Cos for me, a lot of what is considered BL and yaoi feels very queer and I do consider it LGBT media.

What honestly caught my attention from (specifically) Thai BLs, yes the stories, but also the marketing strategies behind it. Perth recently made a video mentioning how gay marriage isn't legal in Thailand while talking about working in BLs. (Neither in Korea or Japan, but of course I would also have to read a lot more on queer activism in these countries) And how recent BLs have called out the discrimination, recognizing that they have an audience large enough that makes this activism worth it even if it turns away viewers that only watch BLs/yaoi without really supporting queer people.

How the character above says, it's basically the commodification of these actors and their relationship by showing that their ship chemistry transcends the show. Which to me was super different but also not cos yeah it's this insane hyperreal comprised of vague hints and fan service. But it's also like idol culture that thrives off the possibility that you can date your favorite idol. Instead, these actors are possibly dating each other.

For me, it’s very interesting how queer shows in different countries handle sexuality. Western queer shows are way more open and explicit with identity terminology. Eastern queer shows truly depend on the genre. (Tho obviously I’d be focused mostly on east Asia cos Southern Asia I’ve only seen one (1). And it’s badhaai do, which is Indian. Which also turned out to be relatively mainstream Bollywood according to reviews of Indian people en tumblr.) Cos sometimes these shows will absolutely use the word gay and lesbian and LGBT and trans, but also sometimes it's just implied. Or it's something completely nonchalant. Sometimes the characters will struggle with the fact that they like someone of the same gender, but they won't always use the exact words.

Watching My Love Mix Up (Japan), I really really related to the main character and how he handled being gay socially and with himself. But I don't thnk he ever quite used the word gay. Like, he started liking a guy and that was that. But also went through all the struggles of realizing this and how other people viewed him.

I have an article I want to read about trends in Asian Queer studies. I am currently reading an article that contextualizes the Thai BL industry along Thailand's monarchy and to quote: "Thailand’s heteropatriarchal social structure is “both subverted and reinforced” by what historian Ying-kit Chan (2021, 84) calls BL narratives of “moderated heteropatriarchy” that produce an opening for parental acceptance of same-sex relations predicated on the maintenance of filial piety." That's why they're all engineers and architects!!!

I love queer media and love analyzing and reading about queer media. And I love seeing different interpretations of queer media cos we've seen that even countries right next to each portray queer people so differently and use so many different visuals and literary devices to portray these relationships while also making them very personal to their culture.

I love talking about this cos there is so much to talk about and so much I want to read coming from a Caribbean context cos I haven't even deep dived in Latin American queer media just yet like. THERE IS SO MUCH!

This is an entire conversation explaining the concept of shipping actors as well as using their status to sell products and about the use of the queer identity in their selling point is just... it's glorious because it's real but also because it's the discussion that happens so often with fans... what is the actor's job? Is it to sell a ship? Is it to act? What does it mean to cater to fans and when does it go too far?

(I am fascinated by them discussing this using some real stars and real acting pairs and it's honestly fascinating. @absolutebl I love this discussion happening in a show that isn't about actors in the industry but rather the industries adjacent and the discussions inherent in both the fanbase and the non-fans as well.)

But also this line is even more fascinating because it does bring up the question... if his ex-boyfriend is a BL actor and thus part of the LGBTQ community is he exploiting his own identity? What about the writers, directors, producers and other actors who are also in the community? When does it stop being exploration and become another form of expression? Is there a line to be drawn? Or is there an inherent distinction between queer works and BL works that cannot be crossed as a line?

There's so much to breakdown and I absolutely cannot do it but it's such an interesting question to ask and a lot of interesting discussions that are possible from it.

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Audrey Roget

Audrey Roget has 10 fics at Gossamer, with some different ones at AO3, fanfiction.net, and her website. You might know her from her very good fics or as part of Musea, a collective that all wrote fic and posted X-Files fic recs. I’ve recced some of my favorites of her stories here before, including Three Times Dana Scully Didn’t Go to San Diego for Christmas and The Shirt. Big thanks to Audrey for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)? A little, yes. Not so much by folks who were around in those days. I sometimes go hunting for beloved stories from the early years, both those I read and loved, and those I never got around to. I am always delighted to hear that later generations of fans have stumbled across my stuff, especially since I haven’t posted anything new in a number of years. It’s fantastic that both years-long fans and new ones are out there continuing to rec fic from all eras, and to maintain archives for fans yet-to-be born. What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it? What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general? It may sound corny, but the main thing I think of, and the thing that has ultimately been most valuable and lasting, has been the friendships. The feeling of having found a tribe – not just of TXF fans, but of other people who could be as enthusiastically engaged as I was (if not more so) with fictional stories and characters – was mind-blowing. Since I was a kid, I had often mulled over the books/movies/TV I loved and speculated internally about what happened off the page or off-screen, or created new stories for characters in my head. But, except for an elementary school phase where I and my two BFFs regularly played Charlie’s Angels, I hadn’t engaged in that kind of gleeful immersion in a fictional world with others until TXF fandom. My involvement in fandom followed pretty quickly from getting hooked on the show, so for me, it’s all one big ball of experiences. Even as my interest in/involvement in fandom has waxed and waned over the years, I’ve been lucky to remain friends with wonderful people who I originally connected with as fellow fans.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)? What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

My initial entrée to the fandom was through fanfiction. I didn’t get interested in the show until mid-season 5. Around the same time, I read an article in a zine called Might (co-founded by Dave Eggers) about this thing called fanfiction that people would write and publish online. At first I thought it was satire or a joke – the fic cited involved Wilma Flintstone and a polished sabre tooth, as I recall – but then realized this was an actual thing. So I figured that a show then at the peak of pop culture must have fanfiction, and I went looking. Early on, I scrolled atxc on a daily basis and downloaded stories. But I didn’t engage in discussions about the show on Usenet, since I only knew how to access it with my Earthlink email client, and I didn’t want to post using my real name.

Later, I set up a pseud address with Yahoo and subscribed to a couple of email fanfic/discussion lists, and stayed subscribed to those for years. There was also a period in there somewhere – of maybe only a year or so, when I think about it – when I’d often nerd out into the wee hours with other fans via IM chat groups. That was around the time the small writers’ collective Musea was founded, and we were active for several years after the show’s initial run. In the early aughts, I followed many authors to LiveJournal and eventually set up my own account and stayed involved in fandom that way, until it mostly dispersed as well. What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show? In a word: Chemistry. I had casually watched a couple of episodes during the first four seasons, but I’m not a huge sci-fi/horror fan at heart, and the story lines didn’t immediately grab me. But I happened to tune into The Red and the Black in 1998, and BOOM. For the first time, the intense layers of emotion and attraction between Mulder and Scully really struck me – and then of course, upon further viewing, I realized it was unmissable, an essential element in the fabric of the show. As a wise woman once said, a switch had been flicked. Mulder and Scully’s magnetism was like nothing I’d ever seen, and though I eventually came to appreciate the storytelling, humor, production values, and other components that made the series so successful, watching those characters interact has always been what kept me coming back. Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files? I was part of a list-serv discussion group for The West Wing for a while, which was a fun melding of character and plot analysis with political discussion. Later, I got into the House, MD fandom, again mostly as a fanfic reader/writer. I was finding that other fandoms, unlike TXF, were more dispersed, the networks of people structured more loosely, if at all. There were fanfic and discussion communities on LiveJournal, and fanfiction.net was the other main hub for posting and reading, but if there was anything centralized like Gossamer, Ephemeral, or the Haven, I never found it. Within all those fan communities, as in TXF, there were partisans for various characters and pairings, and flame wars erupted over plot developments that outraged this faction or that. One main difference was that those other shows had larger, ensemble casts and more varied subplots. So on one hand, there was more opportunity to explore back stories and multiple perspectives. In House MD in particular, there were several entrenched rival shipper camps, which were about equally grounded in canon, rather than TXF’s central ship. I was less into TWW fic, but my impression was that readers were less militant about their pairing preferences than TXF or House fans. Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

I was deeply fascinated by Greg House for several years. (And the love-hate chemistry between him and Lisa Cuddy was a strong draw for me.) House MD came early in a wave of TV shows centered on anti-heroes, and Hugh Laurie brought amazing complexity and thoughtfulness to the character.

Philip and Elizabeth Jennings (The Americans) are a lethal pair of antiheroes. The inherent moral conflict of a sympathetic narrative from their POVs, and the global political conflict they embody was TV catnip for me. The internal struggles at the hearts of those characters were so exquisitely written and performed, they completely fascinate me.

The West Wing felt so much like a show created specifically for me. I’m especially fond of story arcs and scenes that centered on CJ Cregg, Charlie Young, and Josh Lyman. Though I loved Martin Sheen’s human portrayal of Jed Bartlet, the fact that he was the President always made him a little untouchable in my mind. But CJ, Charlie, and Josh were basically hard-working functionaries who were ambitious and idealistic and funny and flawed, and they spoke to me. What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom? Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully? Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I do continue to think about Mulder and Scully and watch episodes somewhat often. I’ll sometimes run a favorite episode as background when I want something comforting on. I read TXF fic pretty regularly, which can inspire me to go back and watch a particular episode or story arc I haven’t thought about in years. Just recently, I started listening to The X-Files Diaries podcast (@XFDPodcast, @admiralty-xfd), and that’s a fun dive into the characters, and how other fans react to and interpret episodes.

Every once in a while, a TV show or movie – and more particularly, the characters – will grab my attention and make me curious about how fanfic writers have interpreted the original material. Random example, I saw Singin’ in the Rain for the first time in a theatre a couple of years ago, and the chemistry of the three leads sent me to AO3 as soon as I got home. I also loved the first season of Mercy Street and found some well-done stories in that fandom. I usually peruse the Yuletide gifts every year and have been amazed by the sheer variety, creativity and cheekiness of the output. There are a bunch of other shows I’ve followed faithfully, and sought out fanfic – Broadchurch, The Killing, Agents of SHIELD, Elementary, The Good Wife. Although I’ve found some well-written stuff in those fandoms, I’ve rarely gotten the same charge from them as reading TXF fic. Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

syntax6 (@syntax6) – Universal Invariants/Laws of Motion. I’d also shout out to syn’s Hunter fics, too – well worth reading even for those who have never seen or particularly loved the show itself.

JET – I re-read Small Lives Awake every year around Thanksgiving time. Other annual holiday re-reads: Revely’s The Dreaming Sea and Jordan’s Through the Fire (both set at Halloween).

Amal Nahurriyeh’s Casey universe – the rare post-col fic that felt hopeful, made extra intriguing by a kick-ass original character. [Lilydale note: the series starts with Machines of Freedom and has lots of additional fics and snippets.]

Prufrock’s Love – Finding Rokovoko was genuinely terrifying and tender.

melforbes (@melforbes) – Seaglass Blue is a recent favorite, lyrical and bittersweet.

These are just a few (apologies to those that didn’t come to mind immediately). Fortunately for readers, there’s an astonishing number of authors who have written in TXF fandom whom you can depend on for a good yarn, insightful character study, and/or ingenious “fixes” where 1013 went awry.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Probably the two set in my own (former) backyard of Southern California: Enivrez-vous and Ravenous. I’d first read the Baudelaire poem that was the source of the former’s title back in university days, so I was tickled to be able to use a few lines as an epigraph. Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online? It’s not out of the realm possibility. I’d meant for “Three Times Dana Scully Didn’t Go to San Diego for Christmas” to be followed up with “And One Time She Did.” In fact, the idea for that never-finished story was what inspired “Three Times” in the first place. I have a couple of scenes sketched out and – unusually for me – even know exactly how to end it. Every year, November rolls around, and I think I should finish and post it…maybe in 2021?

Where do you get ideas for stories? Sometimes it’s from my environment. “Enivrez-vous” and “Ravenous” describe places that I’m fond of, that made me want to place Mulder and Scully there. “What Not to Wear” has that element too – I set it in Memphis as a tribute to a great trip there with a sister Musean. But WNTW was also inspired by a kink challenge in a years-ago LiveJournal thread, so sometimes ideas come from fandom discussions or even other fanfics. In the House MD fandom, a fic by another writer made me want to continue the story, and the author kindly allowed an authorized sequel. What's the story behind your pen name? I wanted my pseudonym to sound like it could be a real person’s name – or at least, maybe like a romance writer’s pen name – rather than an online handle. I also wanted to use a slightly obscure fictional character, to amuse anyone in the know. I had long had a bit of an obsession with Whit Stillman’s 1990s film trilogy, which started with Metropolitan; the 3rd installment, Last Days of Disco, came out the same year I started down the TXF rabbit hole: 1998. The central heroine of Metropolitan – who is mentioned in or makes a cameo in the other two – is Audrey Rouget, a lover of Austen and, eventually, a book editor. I altered the spelling of the last name as a nod to every writer’s companion, Roget’s Thesaurus. Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions? I have a few close friends – from outside TXF fandom – who know that I’ve written fanfic. I don’t know if they know my pseud; if they do, or if they’ve ready any of the fic, they haven’t said so to me. They are fannish sorts themselves, but not really TXF fans. A smattering of other friends and family members know or could intuit that I’ve been a fangrl on some level for years. My boss, whom I’ve known for about 3 years, recently mentioned off-handedly that she was really obsessed with TXF “back in the day,” and I am DYING to know if she got involved in fandom, but don’t think I’ll ever work up the courage to ask.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now? Most of the X-Files stuff continues to be generously and steadfastly archived by Forte at The Basement Office. The House MD stories and some TXF things are at fanfiction.net; same for AO3. If ever post anything new, it will probably go to TBO and AO3. I really ought to get it all together in one place, one of these days…

(Posted by Lilydale on April 6, 2021)

[iesnoth]

Four Times Artemis Tries to Convince Holly to go with him to Mars and the One Time he Didn’t

The First Time | The Third Time

The Second Time

The second time was during Artemis’s bimonthly check-up. This month they met on Fowl estate, now the Sunny Times Farming Community. Artemis was the only Fowl left living in the ancestral home: his parents thought he stayed behind to make sure their new tenants adhered to their eco-friendly mission statement, his friends thought he had too much history in the house to leave. Now Holly suspected his attachment had less to do with the manor, and more to do with the rocket ship in the barn.

To be fair, he didn’t live in the manor all the time: his laboratory had long since been moved, and he wasn’t one for community living. When he wasn’t sleeping on the makeshift bunk in the barn (pre-clone Artemis would never, Holly thought), he spent the night at Butler’s seaside cottage. Today she flew into the aforementioned barn, not unshielding until the strangely pneumatic doors closed behind her.

“Commodore!” Artemis’s greeting was muffled by wherever he was inside the ship. Though the design was distinctly Artemis, a dark grey color palette highlighted with gold, she saw elements of fairy engineering in the spacecraft. She wasn’t sure Artemis could invent anything without the People’s influence anymore; he was a part of them now.

And he’s leaving, she thought.

He slid out from some secret place under the craft. He wore a bespoke suit, though divested of his jacket, and the sleeves on the black button down were rolled up to the elbow. She wondered if the genius considered this “work clothes.”

“You know the drill,” she said, pretending she somehow hadn’t seen the spaceship and focusing on retrieving a swab and vial from her hip satchel.

“Right on to business then,” he said with an air of teasing.

She propelled herself up with her wings so they were at eye level. “Open up.”

He obliged, and she swabbed the inside of his cheek, then stoppered the swab in the vial. She pocketed it and withdrew an electronic syringe the size and length of her pinkie. She held out a hand, and Artemis placed his hand in her open palm.

“Any problems since our last meeting?” she asked.

“Do you mean the Netherlands?” He was prying.

She pretended not to notice. “I mean two months ago. Have there been any changes?”

He raised one eyebrow. “No.” She pushed the button on the end of the syringe and a needle popped out, stole a few drops of blood from his hand, then retreated, sealing the tube shut behind it.

“No sudden loss of energy, or insomnia?” Blue sparks danced over the tiny pinprick. She didn’t have to heal such a small wound, but she always did.

“My energy levels are fine, and I have no more insomnia than I’ve ever had.” He held up his newly healed hand. “And before you ask, my appetite has been consistent with no strange cravings, no mood swings, no phantom pains, and no growth spurts or increased aging. But you’d know all that if you’d learn to read the diagnostics on the side of that syringe.”

She rolled her eyes, making a great show of putting the syringe away without looking at it before dropping to the ground.

He caught her gaze and smiled like he was letting her in on a secret. “Come, Commodore. Let me give you a tour.”

Holly huffed. She shouldn’t encourage him— after all, didn’t she know what her answer had to be? But she was curious, and at the very least she could trade any information she gleaned about the ship to Foaly for upgrades in her tech.

Artemis waited for her at the threshold, his expression guarded. Taking a steadying breath, she jogged over to catch up.

The interior of the ship matched the exterior: sleek and utilitarian, though the colors inside were a cool, calming blue. Artemis had probably done research on what colors put people at ease, an asset for space travel.

“This is the galley,” he said, “and the central hub of the ship. The bridge is here,” he opened a door in the nose of the craft. There were few buttons, but the dash was a span of black plasma screens which Holly recognized from the holo-displays in Foaly’s center of operations. There were four ergonomic chairs in the bridge: the captain’s and co-captain’s chairs, each with their own steering column, and two on either side of these chairs, so all four  were arranged in an arc. She noticed each seat was large enough to house Butler’s bulk, but had adjustable height and seatbelt for a fairy passenger.

“I assume you see the influences I took from the People,” he said, running his hands over the dormant dash. “I also took some inspiration from the sci-fi films Myles has become smitten with. He actually helped design this room, and the laboratory.”

“You’ve told your family about this?” Holly asked as they moved on.

Artemis pursed his lips before he spoke. “I’ve told Butler.”

“And he’s OK with this?”

He shrugged. “He’s coming with me. And he’s very excited about this:” he opened a pneumatic sliding door to an exercise room. It housed an elliptical and other resistance-based equipment, since anything relying on weight would be moot in the zero gravity of space. “It will be imperative for all the crew to exercise daily in order to prevent muscle atrophy in the vacuum of space,” he explained. “Butler greatly anticipates me having to use a gym for once.”

“Crew?” Holly repeated, passing up the chance to take a jab at the young man’s less than impressive physique. “Who else is coming besides you and Butler?”

He actually looked hurt, and she wondered if she’d pushed her avoidance of his invitation too far. “If you’re going to continue to ignore the obvious,” he said, his voice clipped, “I’ve invited No.1 to come along. After his exploits on the moon, I thought this to be a natural expansion of his studies. He’s conferring with Qwan about whether they could do without him for so long. I also plan on inviting Juliet, if she ever comes home from the mystery assignment Butler won’t tell me about.”

Each of the four living compartments had an upright bed attached to the wall, a porthole, and a tiny, adjustable desk which could be accessed from the bed. If it could be called a bed. Soft, cream-colored, and puffy, they looked like cocoons. Under the zipper and layers of down were straps on the inside to keep the sleeper in place, as well as a control panel to adjust the firmness of the mattress and tightness of the straps. These space explorers would travel in comfort.

“Why only four cubicles, if you’re anticipating five?”

He smiled down at her. “I’m not anticipating five. I assumed someone would say no, and I haven’t invited everyone at once.”

Based on the series of events as he’d told them to her, he’d asked her first (excluding Butler). She wanted to be flattered, but her heart hurt.

“Artemis, I can’t go.”

His carefully maintained smile shrank. “Because of your career?”

“Don’t say it like I prioritize climbing some corporate ladder,” she said, turning away from the cubicles and back toward the galley. “And yes, it is my career. It’s my life, Artemis. I couldn’t live in space! Where would I perform the Ritual?”

“We could bring a store of acorns,” he suggested. “You could plant them on an asteroid: maybe burying them on a foreign planet would grant you different powers.”

“This isn’t one of Myles’s sci-fi movies, Artemis.”

“No, it’s better,” he argued. He crouched down to her level. She hated when he did that. It made her feel condescended to, and she hated looking him in the eyes when they fought. “Anything is possible out there,” he waved to the ceiling with one hand. “We could discover new worlds, meet new species, challenge the very fundamentals of science! We could change the universe for the better.”

She placed a hand on his left cheek, her thumb tracing under his left eye. It was blue now, forever reminding her of the friend she’d lost, then regained.

“I’d like to think I’m doing that now,” she countered. “In Haven, protecting others.”

Artemis stared into her eyes for a moment, searching for answers or perhaps for a chink in her resolve. Finally, he stood, breaking her contact. “We still have the physical tests to complete before you have to return home,” he said.

Holly followed him out, eyes on his feet as he tiptoed through the thin walkway that was a comfortable width for her. She paused at the entrance of the ship as he strode the distance of the barn, walking away from her with a long gait she’d struggle to keep up with on foot. Was she losing him again?

[animebw]

Wolf’s Rain: Series Reflection

Wolf’s Rain is a story that could only ever exist as anime. I don’t mean that someone couldn’t theoretically make a live-action TV show or movie out of it at some point; heck, given the increasing prominence of live-action remakes over in the US, I wouldn’t be surprised if this show ends up on some Hollywood producer’s watchlist at some point. What I mean is that this kind of story could only be born in the chaotic, messy, genre-defying hotbed that is Japanese popular culture. American cinema and TV may be lousy with dystopia and post-apocalyptic settings, but could you imagine anybody greenlighting a fusion of The Walking Dead and Star Trek? In what other medium could gritty realism, pitch-black sci-fi and fantastical mysticism co-exist so peacefully, so many disparate genres all working towards the same end goal? It’s this boldness that makes anime so important to me: no other medium has the capacity to tell stories with this much imagination, creativity and sincerity. Wolf’s Rain fully capitalizes on this bravery from the word “go”, and the result is one of the most soul-enriching series I’ve ever had the pleasure to come across.

Make no mistake, this story can be hard to sit through at times. There’s an uncomfortable level of darkness to the dying world the characters inhabit, a fog of subtle despair that colors every single frame. But it’s all built with a purpose, weaving its world and atmosphere into its narrative to immerse you in its vision like few other shows are capable of. With the level of detail and nuance packed into the worldbuilding, it truly does feel like the Dark Souls of anime, like you’re following the protagonists as they flit around in the skeletons and ruins of once-great civilizations now ground to dust by time and neglect. And the speed at which we discover new information about how this sorry state of affairs came to be is refined to a laser-point precision, never too fast that we get lost in the details and never too slow that we grow bored in the spaces in between. The narrative of Wolf’s Rain is masterfully crafted, never letting a single second of dead air slip through the cracks. There’s a constant sense of discovery and progression, of tectonic plates shifting with every step down the road to Paradise, and the momentum of the journey only grows increasingly palpable as the slope steepens and the dark clouds cluster ever more tightly in preparation for the coming storm.

And as is barrels down this slope, it weaves together a searingly poignant narrative of hope and despair, of desperation and determination, of past regrets and future aspirations, and the invisible forces that keeps us on our feet when everything is telling us to fall over and die. It finds light even in the darkest places, in the camaraderie of our central cast, in Toboe’s sincerity breaking down Tsume’s thick shell of isolation, in the simple innocence of Chesa, in Hub’s determination to be worthy of the grand destiny he’s suddenly become a part of, in Kiba’s endless drive to seek out the future he knows is waiting for them all over the horizon. And because it allows you that light, when it comes time for the storm to break and the darkness of the world to come rushing in like a tsunami of rage and chaos, god damn does it hurt. You feel every ounce of the pain these characters do, every moment when they’re right on the verge of giving up and giving in. This Paradise is not handed to you on a silver platter: it must be fought for with every drop of blood and gasp of breath you have left to spare. And it all comes together in one of the most wrenching, heartbreaking, yet overwhelmingly beautiful finales of anime history. I will still remember these final four episodes years from now: they’re that fucking spectacular.

Yes, the road to reach that awe-inspiring conclusion could be rocky at times. The production chaos resulting from a long schedule delay meant some compromises had to be made in the show itself before properly sending things off with the OVA finale. There’s no real excuse why we needed four recap episodes right on top of each other, and the clarity of the show proper’s conclusion feels muddied from the conflicting needs it was designed to fulfill. Were you to ask me to judge just the initial 26 episodes, I would likely score it at an 8, possibly a 7 if I let it stew for a bit longer. But those final episodes, man. Not only did they redeem and straighten out the disparate road blocks the show had begun running into in its final stretch, they clawed their way into my soul and left a scar time will not be healing anytime soon. That achievement deserves to be celebrated. So for its stellar unity of vision, its utterly absorbing mythos, and a truly legendary send-off, I award Wolf’s Rain a score of:

9/10

I knew from the start this was gonna be a good one, and I’m glad to see I was not disappointed. Thank you all for joining me on this journey, and I hope you stick around for the show I watch next! And according to the random number generator, that show will be:

Akame ga Kill

What’s that? It’s time for an edgefest of the highest caliber? Sign me up, boys! And I’ll see you all next time for the start of a new adventure!

[zydrateacademy]

Review: Destiny 2

It took me a while to compile enough thoughts for a proper review, and to find time to actually begin writing because I’ve been far too busy actually playing it. This will come with a minor disclaimer or two. First, I haven’t played the first game. It was on console and I’ve been on PC for a long time. Secondly, I may mention a lot of other game comparisons and there’s a reason for that. This game feels like it borrows some of the best parts of other games and stitched them together to make something great. I can’t really comment on the game’s previous story, but I hear from most players that there wasn’t much of one. Somehow I feel that this is hyperbole on their part because you can’t really have a game without a story. Even team shooters like Overwatch shoehorn some lore within their dialog or various external material. All the same, I’ve gathered that a giant alien ball gave a large portion of the Earth population immortality topped with magical powers. Not exaggerating, I have literally heard the word “magic” be used in what seems to be a Sci Fi adventure. The game proper starts off with a full on assault from an enemy faction that only had a tertiary presence in the first game. They win pretty swiftly and kick you off a tower. Your guardian loses their “light” powers and must traverse the first forty-five minutes or so of the game without the ability to resurrect. Of course that is of limited value as checkpoints are still a thing so feel free to die if you don’t quite have a handle on the gunplay.

The campaign is stated to be around six hours long and that’s fairly accurate. It felt incredibly short and it was surprising to learn about this sun-destroying device that the Red Legion created. Funny enough, that’s actually the halfway point and the exact moment where the story becomes less interesting. Before that, you hop between planets to “get the band back together”, essentially. You collect the various class leaders across the system, each with their own unique problems that you solve and get back together to help lead the push against the guys who took everyone’s light. After that, it’s a generic doomsday device that you must disable, and the campaign missions themselves feel a bit padded at times. You’re often assigned to disable something, only for it to not work so you must go destroy something else two more times before the thing actually works. The old school trope of “You cannot thwart stage one” is in full effect here folks, and you’ll likely predict what will happen to the big bad Ghaul himself long before you actually see it. Weak story aside, the gunplay is some of the best feeling in a first person shooter I’ve had in a while. At first glance the game looks and feels like a less irritating version of Borderlands, a franchise of which I love anyway like a slowly improving problem child. Enemies have large health bars and every hit you land, magical floating numbers pop up signifying your damage. Ultimately these numbers mean very little because max level players can play with level three’s and nobody can really one-shot anything except for the basics. There’s some strange autobalancing coding going on in the background, but it still manages to make sure that anyone can play with their friends regardless of people’s gear level. This includes the fact that max level players will constantly get tokens and can break down lesser gear for yet another type of turn-in token. There’s always a reason to do things and I find that it’s a great mechanic. 

The story is mostly just an excuse to get you to maximum level and have access to the tower. After that, the full game unlocks to you which is common MMO fare. It lets you dip your toes in some player-versus-player but after you beat the campaign, every planet and game mode will have a set of challenges and milestones for you to work towards and continually get your item level up, also known as a “Gearscore” if you’re a veteran of WoW. Ultimately this is where the game shines and where I typically have the most fun, because it essentially becomes a first person sandbox. No, there’s not really an open world and there’s not much to explore unless you’re hunting for Lost Sectors, secret sections of the map that typically have yield chests with better loot that will only unlock when you defeat the local miniboss. They’re a lot of fun. Each planet has this sort of “hub” area that you’ll find a few other players running around in. I figure they’re instanced with a likely player cap because I’ve never seen more than a few at a time. At most I think I saw about seven other people joining in on a public event with me, one of my favorite features of the game. Public Events are not a new concept in recent gaming history. The earliest comparison I can personally think of is Rift (2011), but I think they started dipping into MMO’s a year or so before that. It’s as it sounds, in hub areas these events will trigger down from a five minute timer to allow other people gather and prepare and it will spawn a moderately difficult boss or objective based event. They’re typically too difficult for me to solo but I’m sure other, better players can manage. By completing optional objectives you can help upgrade every event to “heroic”, which yields a lot more experience and a bit more loot. You might have to research or simply take cues from other players and see what you have to do, but if you see people shooting at that ship circling the area or slamming on this random device in the middle of the firefight - That’s probably why. Those side challenges I mentioned can be a bit fickle sometimes. Sometimes they’ll require you to kill enemies with a certain weapon or a certain way that doesn’t necessarily to cater to my playstyle. One in PvP once wanted me to make a few kills with a subclass I never used and thus had no upgrade points put into. I never got that challenges because, as per the game’s meta, there’s certain gun types or subclasses people just don’t use in certain modes. For example, nobody ever really uses the Hunter’s “Nightstalker” subclass in PvP because it’s a sort of crowd control that’s useful against several clustered enemies. In PvP that almost never happens and it would be too easy for actual players to escape the little orb that the Hunter created. 

There’s also a multitude of gun types, all with their varying clip sizes, fire rates, and range capabilities that are more useful in one mode than the other, so this typically encourages you to keep a certain ‘collection’ of things depending on what you’re playing. So far I’ve only talked about challenges and public events. I’ve found it hard to talk about what and first because there’s a lot to the game to chew through between the various updates the game will inevitably have. Of this writing, the game’s first expansion has already been announced for the fifth of December which will likely bring a whole new set of milestones, strikes, missions and most importantly, loot. I’ll try to get through some of the fun stuff you can get a hold of at the endgame which mercifully doesn’t take long to get to. Strikes are basically just dungeons from other fantasy based MMO’s. There’s not a lot to say about them, they’re ten to twenty minute encounters with a variety of bosses and mechanics you need to figure out. My least favorite so far is this Fallen boss who will constantly disappear after just a few hits and spawn these electrified robots that will limit your movement and now allow you to jump at all (and there’s a LOT of jumping in this game). They’ll also constantly damage you because of course they will. It reminds me of a survival game to be honest.

There’s the Crucible, Destiny’s name for PvP combat. It’s run of the mill PvP with your usual zone controls, team deathmatch and even a mode that’s reminiscent of Call of Duty’s “kill confirmed” mode where you only get points by picking up a sigil from a fallen enemy; Or else let their allies pick them up and get denied the score. I enjoy it and I can sometimes get rewards from it even by losing. I’m currently working on an exotic weapon quest where you have to dismantle rare or better scout rifles, which the crucible rewarded me with one just for losing. So hey, progress! There’s also something called “Nightfalls”, which remind me of “Heroic dungeons” from World of Warcraft, but are actually more comparable to Starcraft 2′s mutator mode in their Co-Op. Every week it changes, typically with some kind of timer mechanic to make sure your team is at their most optimal. On our first week, in addition to the timer, all of our skills recharges what seemed to be five times faster. So the mutations are not always there to hurt us. Naturally it gives much better loot than their more basic versions and can be incredibly intense. Myself and two buddies from my gaming community managed to kill the boss of one with a mere four seconds left on the timer. Our first ever Nightfall, to boot. I alluded earlier to the fact that there’s tokens you get from a variety of activities. This mostly gives incentive for high level players to continue playing, as you can turn these tokens in to a variety of faction leaders for engrams (a fancy word for “loot boxes”) that typically level with you so they’re usually good to grind out.

And yes, there is a grind here to a certain degree. There’s a sort of soft cap to gear levels, I found it a crawl to get past the 260-265 hump but then slingshot past it on the game’s second week with a new rollout of milestones that wanted me to play several crucible games, complete five challenges out in the world, and a few other things. Each of them gave me 269′s and 271′s and helped me gear up a bit. At a certain point it becomes advantageous to roll multiple characters so you can do all of this more than once, padding the gameplay and turning it into a grind. There is a bit of fatigue once you hit that soft cap I will admit but it’s typically relieved by playing with friends. This goes with any multiplayer game, true enough. As mentioned I can continue playing missions with newer players, hunt for public events, or toss my scrub ass into the unforgiving ring of failure that is Crucible and I’ll always get something for my trouble. There’s never not anything to do. All this time I’ve actually forgotten to talk about how really damn pretty the game is, to boot. Most of my settings are on maximum with the sole exception of my textures, which have to be medium as to not stress my unfortunately low about of VRAM. I’ve had people smarter than me try to explain why exceeding it matters but regardless, the game is still one of the best looking things in my entire library.

There’s a lot of chatter about microtransactions in the industry lately. Yes, they are present here in the form of “Bright” engrams, which can be acquired in two ways. Obviously you can buy “Silver” which acts as a separate currency for Bright engrams. The other way is, as a level 20 you will get one per ‘level up’ as you continue to play. The flow of such is pretty slow and I typically only get one or two a day (If I’m actively playing my main Hunter) as opposed to dropping ten dollars and getting five immediately. They typically contain cosmetics, some more practical than others like faster speederbikes that will help you traverse stretches of land on planets with a bit more ease. They’re the primary source of the shinier “shaders”, or armor dyes. You can get shaders out of basic chests and other loot boxes but shaders do have “rarity” like any gear does and I don’t think I’ve gotten some of the better looking ones through more basic means. Still, the microtransaction craze does speak to a seedier part of the industry and I will admit the “It’s just cosmetic!” argument doesn’t quite hold up, but I’ll leave that for the individual to decide. I’ve already purchased some silver twice now, but that’s my prerogative. I’ll just say that the game never, not once, beats me over the head with “BUY SOME OF THIS AND YOUR LIFE WILL BE MORE COMPLETE”. They better not, after I spent the full hundred dollars to begin with. In conclusion, the game feels like the most refined collection of a dozen games I could name, like the world’s cleanest zombie. Borderlands, The Division, World of Warcraft, Rift. The gameplay constantly reminds me of other games but is the absolute best version of all of them. The gunplay will keep me coming back as I do occasionally itch for an ironsight shooter but all the current ones I have are boring or have dead communities with long matchmaking. A large portion of my gaming community is playing so I can typically play at my own pace, or get others to join me if I feel like I want my objectives to go a little quicker than usual. There’s plenty to do and it’s all up to me to figure out what I want to prioritize when I log in. For a game with this much in it, it can only improve with more content.