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choosing-criminalminds · 4 years ago

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One More Time

Summary: Their love was years and years in the making, and even when prison quickly builds back up the walls they worked so hard to break down, Spencer learns just how strong the foundation of their trust is.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!BAU!reader(ish) -> told mostly in the 3rd person, from Spencer’s POV

Category: angst (?)

Warnings: mentions of character death (Maeve, Gideon), mentions of blood (Maeve’s death), slight panic/anxiety, language -> let me know if there are any more to add!

Also, un-beta’d, we die like the trash we are.

Length: 5.6k

A/N: Okay yeah so first post. So…this turned out much longer than expected? This is for Ellie’s ( @spenciebabie ) writing contest/celebration and goodness I’m so nervous because I’ve barely written, much less posted, anything in years. Anyway, I guss I decided to challenge myself to write this? I hope you guys like it?

Also, if anyone wants a new friend, please hit me up because I’m too shy to say hello myself.

Prompt was: “Why don’t you make me?”

-*-*-*-

“Trust has to be earned, and should come only after the passage of time.”

—Arthur Ashe

-*-*-*-

For all his genius, Spencer didn’t know what to make of the fact that he found himself inexplicably drawn to her.

It wasn’t until years down the line that he realized he had been exceptionally aware of her since they met, carefully observing, cataloguing the way she so gently and kindly defied every expectation and pushed past every preconceived notion he had of her. By then, she had already settled in a little corner of his heart and helped seal the cracks in his life that he didn’t even know existed.

But when she first joined the team as an intern, he was more than a little reluctant to get to know her. It was during the summer between her college graduation and the start of her graduate studies, and she seemed too worldly, too perfect. She wasn’t like the girls from high school, or even college, for that matter, who were simply mean. On the contrary, she was wonderfully polite and incredibly ambitious, intelligent, and very much the type of girl that was far too out of his league, one that wouldn’t spare him a second glance before continuing down whatever focused path she was on.

That’s why he planned to avoid her as much as possible her first day in the office. She had, thankfully, spent the morning in Hotch’s office, since he was her official supervisor, but when he saw them about to emerge right before lunch, he panicked, muttered a random excuse, and shuffled out of the bullpen, leaving a bemused Derek and Elle in his wake.

It didn’t help that he was ducking out of rooms while JJ was giving her a quick tour and making introductions, and almost every member of the team had cornered him, encouraging him to talk to her, to befriend her due to their closeness in age. (“She’s only what? Two-ish years younger than you?” When he mumbled that exact date, Penelope had broken into a large, wicked grin, poking him teasingly in the cheek. Gratefully, she held back any further comment.)

Spencer had blinked, a little surprised, when Penelope Garcia, who generally disliked change, had only good things to say. Remarkably humble about her achievements, and not in the standoffish fake way, Penelope commented after admitting she had run a background check on her. Genuine, and quite sweet.

Polite, Derek had said, if a little quiet, trying to see where she fits in the team dynamic. You should reach out, be a friend, he suggested.(Spencer ignored the very pretty slipped somewhere in the comment, as well as the knowing smile shot his direction when he felt his cheeks flushing.)

A surprisingly wicked sense of humor, was all Elle said with a sly smile. (Spencer chose to ignore that too.)

And when Spencer tentatively asked the man, Jason Gideon, a man of generally few words, had spoken of her, however briefly, with surprising fondness, because of course Gideon had met her when she was a child, because of course her uncle now headed legal three floors up, and of course her uncle was the last third of the BAU’s Holy Trinity, of which Gideon and Rossi were a part of.

You’ll get along very nicely.

Spencer was incredibly intimidated, to say the least.

And then when he couldn’t avoid her anymore (because of course they were desked next to each other), all it took for her was noticeably catching herself from extending a hand, then offering a small little wave and a nervous smile to leave him breathless. (He pointedly ignored the look knowing look JJ shot him.)

He tried to stifle the little seed of hope—that she definitely wasn’t interested in him, and her saccharine smile was nothing more than a false front to make a positive impression during a lucrative FBI internship meant only to bolster her resume—but the resolve crumbled quickly. She turned out to be so genuinely kind and sweetly humble that Spencer cursed the fact that the internship lasted only through that summer.

It also certainly didn’t help, either, that the very first thought he had when meeting her was a single word.

Pretty.

-*-*-*-

It was almost ridiculous how well she got along with everyone in the office.

She clearly made it a mission to make the most of the time she had and was more than willing to put in the work and prove her worth. Although she was technically Hotch’s intern and her main role was to assist the core field team, Spencer watched as she managed to get on absolutely everyone’s good graces through a combination of unassuming charm, sharp wit, and willingness to learn and to help that was so uniquely her.

For Spencer, it meant that she happily listened to what he had to say, encouraging him to continue when appropriate or saving a quiet question for later when it wasn’t. When she told him that she enjoyed listening to him talk, Spencer was taken aback, stuttering as he tried to figure out if she was only saying that to be polite. She gave him a gracious smile, ensured that she “quite honestly enjoyed” listening to him, and proceeded to ask a few well-timed and well-pointed questions to smoothly nudge him back to their previous topic.

Spencer stared at her, slack-jawed, then smiled bashfully, and allowed himself to hope.

(He definitely didn’t know what to do with the fact that when she knowingly reached out to his hand resting on the table and lightly tapped the back of his hand, he didn’t have his typical knee-jerk desire to pull away. He also mostly certainly didn’t know what to do with the fact that when her thumb grazed over his knuckles to sooth the tension he didn’t even realize he had, he felt an inexplicable calm ease into his very bones.)

-*-*-*-

“It’ll take a good five, six years to finish my J.D./Ph.D., but Hotch offered me an open invitation to join the team when I do, and I’m more than inclined to take his offer when the time comes.”

Spencer peered at her, breathing out a sigh of relief that he didn’t realize he was holding. It was the last day of her internship, and she was making the rounds to say her thank you’s and goodbyes individually to the members of the team. He was the last one, and he had been dreading the conversation the entire day.

While he wouldn’t describe what he felt for her as anything beyond a genuine, platonic friendship—in the grand scheme of things, they’d only known each other for ten weeks—their easy companionship had become very dear to him. And he was terrified and nervous that her time with the BAU would be just a small chapter in her life before she moved on to the bigger and better things, leaving him behind as a fond but distant memory.

She laughed softly at his surprise, before it trailed off into a sigh. She then took a deep breath and asked. “Do you trust me?” Spencer looked at her, a bit dumbfounded. Did he trust her? Her gaze was heavy on him and the question weighty, a gentle demand for an honest answer. Did he trust her? Yes, he did, he supposed, they were friends. Right? He breathed in deeply, squared his shoulders just a bit, and answered in the affirmative.

As if she sensed his hesitance, his unease, she gave him a knowing look and took one of his hands into hers, fingers brushing over fingers, before hooking her pinky around his. “Because I promise you, Spencer Reid, I’ll be back, right here. You’ll be waiting for me, yeah?”

He looked at her in awe, the dim light of the nearly-empty office reflecting off her kind eyes. Warmth spread through his chest, and she smiled so brilliantly that he nearly forgot to breathe, to answer. To answer. He smiled back, twitchy, introspective, and considered the weight of her question. He nodded and responded simply.

“Always.”

-*-*-*-

She managed to remain on the Bureau’s consulting payroll over the next several years, though she was primarily based in the Bay Area as she finished her graduate studies at Stanford. The team as a whole still went to her for a fresh perspective when needed; she video called in to help on cases when necessary and met up in person if a case called them to California.

He knew that she kept in touch with JJ, Penelope, and Derek, and that Hotch and Emily (whom she met shortly after Emily joined the team and a case brought them to LA) were also friendly, if professional, contacts. Spencer himself was known to receive the odd phone call from her.

However, what had Spencer almost covetously pleased was that they had something they shared exclusively between the two of them, because she had steadfastly kept her promise to write to him.

-*-*-*-

Her letters were as beautiful as they were constant, and Spencer handled and read each one with care.

Her handwriting suited her; while it generally was neat and clear little scrawl, he knew it would get a little freer, and little loopier when she was tired, if she was particularly excited, or if she found herself a bit tipsy. (And yet she still managed to always write in an almost perfectly straight line even on a blank sheet of paper. He was envious, and when he told her as such, he could hear the laughter in her response as she wrote it a little more wobbly than usual.) And while he knew her to be tilted more on the quiet, introverted side of the scale, she had a way with the written word, each phrase poetic and thoughtful.

And they were remarkably therapeutic to write in return, Spencer found. Their initial letters mostly consisted of light banter about their mutual and individual interests, updates on the progress of her research (sprinkled amusing tidbits of her exasperation and frustration), bits and pieces about his cases and updates on and amusing anecdotes about the team.

However, over time, he slowly opened up to her, about his fears, his hopes, his dreams. And when he hesitantly divulged bits and pieces about the drugs, his mother, the headaches, he felt the relief in his entire body when she responded with empathy and grace. In turn, she did the same. She was vulnerable, she was open, and as wonderful and quite near perfect as he knew her to be, he was pleased to find her so incredibly human.

Those letters he slowed down to read, committing them to memory with more intention.

(He kept her letters in the drawer of his desk at his apartment, and eventually moved them to a specially designated box when he needed more room. When he learned that she did the same, he couldn’t help the tender warmth that fluttered in his chest. He still didn’t know what to do with the feeling.)

-*-*-*-

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.

It took six years, and an additional five months at the Academy (and then another few weeks as she was introduced to the legal team, with whom she would also be working with in her role as legal liaison), but she kept her promise and found her way back to the BAU, and it was like she was never gone.

This time, in her re-introduction to the team, she was a breath of fresh air.

When she approached him individually with a nervous smile, she reached out, then hesitated, and a sense of déjà vu washed over Spencer. But then, she had placed a hand on his elbow, and when she smiled, he breathed in a sense of peace and familiarity, of comfort.

“You waited.”

He smiled back, and in a rather forward gesture on his part, he adjusted so he could take the hand on his arm into his.

“Always.”

-*-*-*-

She was too good for him.

Whatever relationship they had—Spencer didn’t know what to call it, though friendship seem too trivial of a word for it—he knew it was too good, too perfect to last.

Because in a cruel twist of fate, her first case back on the team, however unofficial it was, was Maeve.

He was hyperaware of the neutral expression on her face when he finally brought his fears to the team. To anyone else she would seem serene and put together, but to him the slight sag in her shoulders and the realization transitioning to acceptance were clear as day. Spencer never mentioned Maeve to her in their letters, but later, in retrospect, he believed she had an inkling, at the very least. You seem happier, she had written, once, not too long after he first became acquainted with Maeve, and that makes me happy.

Did it? Then he didn’t want to know what his misery would do to her because then, Maeve died, and in his grief over another woman, he fought desperately to push her away.

She could share his happiness, but he refused to let her share his pain, his brokenness. She did not deserve that, and he would not be the one to destroy the beauty and sunshine and hope she brought everywhere with her.

But when they finally took Maeve’s body away, and when the blurred commotion of sirens and law enforcement and emergency services and constant hammering of half-hearted condolences and check-ins finally died down, he felt the blanket around his shoulders be adjusted, and a now-familiar pair of hands take in his own, firm, and refusing to ever let go. Thumbs traced over his knuckles as soothingly as he remembered, and only then did he begin to vaguely process the fact those hands had been tucked into his almost the entire evening, anchoring him through the haze and the fog.

As if on cue, she squeezed his hand gently, like she knew exactly when he was slowly becoming aware of her presence, and he suddenly found he lacked the strength to do what he initially intended.

Still dazed, he felt her shift, and she was kneeling on the ground in front of him where he sat on the curb, and softly drew him into a hug. Any form of resistance he previously had dissolved; he clung to her, tears stinging his eyes once again.

It’s okay, I’m here, I’ll stay, she whispered, I’ll stay, always and always.

Just don’t push me away.

“I-” His voice cracked. “I loved her.”

He paused, his voice weakening.

“I love her...”

Hands ran soothingly through his hair.

“I know.”

She always did.

“…so much.”

He didn’t need to see her face to realize that she was crying with him, for him—he could feel her trying to contain the trembling in her chest, trying desperately to remain composed. He tried to do the same, but when she tilted her head and let him bury his face into her neck, Spencer finally felt fresh tears begin to flow, and he allowed her to take his face into her hands and chase the tears with her fingers.

And Spencer wept freely, first for death of the woman he loved, and then for the tears and the grief he caused the one person he could call his kindred spirit, his soulmate.

-*-*-*-

He healed, slowly.

There were good days, when the thought of Maeve did not stir up memories of blood and fear and gunshots but, rather, of auburn hair and admiration and hushed conversations on the phone. On those days, he felt like he was no longer haunted by a ghost and could finally begin to move on. On those days, he could slow down, appreciate the small things again, and focus on how a pair of familiar, steady hands pulled him out of the past, anchored him in the present, and allowed him to hope about the future.

But then there were the bad days when her touch scalded and burned his skin. The warmth and the pulse of blood rushing through her veins and the germs on her hands and her life was overwhelming because Maeve was dead and cold and gone. So, with every glare and with every sharp comment aimed at where he knew it would hurt, he finally made good on his desire to push her away.

It was on those days the bitter voice in the back of his mind whispered how it was supposed to be Maeve, not her, there alive with him, holding his hand as they faced the world.

It was also on those days he chose to disregard the regret that settled in the pit of his stomach each time he heard his own biting voice, and disregard the horror brought on by even thinking of wishing she were dead instead. He began to ignore the tremble in her hands when she reached out to him and brushed her fingers against his in concern, and he ignored how she gradually began pulling back, hesitant, nervous that her touch would be unwarranted, unwanted. He certainly ignored the unconscious flex in his hand, the ache for the reassurance and comfort he had become so accustomed to—

He ignored it all until he woke up, one night, to an empty bed, and a sudden surge of panic rushed through his body and bile rose in his throat. She was right there, when he fell asleep, giving him a small smile and nod when he asked if she could read to him, to stay the night. Now, without a word, she was gone, she was gone, shewasgone and Spencer could feel the tightness in his chest and tears sting his eyes when realized that the only one to blame was himself, himself, himself.

Why, he thought bitterly, why was he like this? Why must he try to push away every good thing in his life?

But then, there he stood, barely aware of the tears on his cheeks and ice running through his veins, as he found her curled up on his couch, franticly wiping away her own silent tears and exhaustion from her eyes. He stumbled forward, upset, upset at himself because he made her cry again. And when she flinched when he cradled her face in his hands, apologizing to him, he nearly choked back a sob, his hands trembling as he tried to wipe away the tears that did not belong on her face.

Neither of them went back to sleep that night, and Spencer began to realize just how strong she was, as she gently told him through her tears the hard truths of his situation and where she stood in relation to him.

I can’t fight with a ghost, she had murmured hoarsely, but I can work with her legacy and her memory.

And then, with a pinky wrapped around his, she promised that she would be there to help him through it, but the only way was if, and only if, he let her.

It was that night (or, rather, morning, as the sun rose) that he began to come to terms that, whether he deserved it or not, she—and her pure and unadulterated goodness—was more or less a permanent fixture in his life, and he felt more at peace than he had in ages. And when the early rays of sunlight filtered through his windows and caught her in a soft glow, he found himself once again in awe. He reached out, hesitantly, and his heart soared when he felt the familiar pressure of her hand slipping into his.

She was steadfast and loyal and strong. She was brave, she was patient, she was kind. Moreover, she was alive, she was breathing, and she was here, present, by his side. It took time, and more painful conversations and more painful realizations, but eventually, the good days were a bit more consistent, the sun just a bit brighter, and his breathing a just bit freer with her hand pressed firmly into his own, her pulse thrumming beneath his fingers until his heartbeat synced with hers.

And Spencer was finally learning, learning about what to do with the fact that with her by his side, he felt like he could truly face the world.

-*-*-*-

Face the world he did.

When Gideon died, he felt his hand twitch, and the compulsion to escape and hide tugged at the back of his mind, and an old, nearly forgotten itch made its way from the crook of his elbow, slowly ebbing into in his veins and nagging in the crevices of the back of the mind.

But when he felt her hand slip into his, he felt it abate, the tension in his muscles eased. When her lips twitched into a knowing, gentle smile, he could see the underlying grief and frustration. Of course. She had known Gideon just as well as he did, if not better.

He breathed deeply and smiled back. It was weak, it was twitchy, and it was sad, but it was a smile, nonetheless. He wasn’t in this alone.

-*-*-*-

They were seated on a large blanket in a secluded park in D.C. on one of their rare days off when she pressed a gentle kiss on his lips, and suddenly it seemed like all the right pieces finally fell into place.

And when she whispered those three little words, and everything made sense. He looked up from where he laid, and again he was breathless at how the setting sun caught in her hair and reflected off her skin and her eyes. But then, when he opened his mouth to respond, the same three little words caught in his throat and his breath hitched, and he wanted to cry. He wanted to respond, to let her know that her feelings were returned, but the words failed him.

“It’s okay,” she murmured softly, and he trembled as he felt her hands cupping his face and fingers gracing over his cheekbones, “if you don’t reciprocate; I’ll live. But I just wanted to let you know–know that I’ll be by your side no matter what happens.”

It wasn’t until they were at the door of her apartment, when he found the strength to push past the nerves and respond.

“I do re-reciprocate, and I want–I want to say it, because I do,” he stuttered out, “but I just…don’t know how to say it yet.”

He suddenly felt like a prepubescent schoolboy, nervous and quaking and terrified. But then, magnetic as she was, she brought his gaze back to her face, and her knowing smile breathed air back into his lungs. His heart blossomed, and the fingers rubbing circles into his hand anchored his attention on her. “Then I’ll wait until you can. Always. Forever.” She paused. “Do you trust me?”

Spencer peered up at her, brows furrowed. Unbidden, the memory of the first time she asked him the same question floated to the front of his mind, and he couldn’t help the breath of amusement. The question caught him off guard, but this time, when he found his voice it was resolute, quick, and sure.

Yes.

He felt a pinky hook around his, and the now-familiar warmth bubbled in his chest.

“Good, because it’s a promise I intend to keep.”

This time, the tears her fingers caught were those of appreciation and relief.

-*-*-*-

And then, the sun set, and prison happened.

-*-*-*-

At first, it was easy to ignore.

Prison changed him. He knew it did, and he knew that she wasn’t naïve to the fact either. He was a bit harder, a bit more defensive, and while he tried his best not to show it, he knew she could see the darkness had just a little bit more of an edge. He was well aware of how she watched him just a bit more closely.

It seemed alright at first. It took a while for him to adjust; there were certainly bumps and bruises along the way, along with some admittedly choice words exchanged in frustration, but that was expected.

But he supposed it was the small things, and small things add up.

The first week her hand naturally slipped into his like nothing’d changed, but his grip was tighter and more desperate than normal, like she’d disappear or slip through his fingers if he didn’t. At the same time, he was also too terrified to touch her otherwise, as if she’d break like glass if his grip on her waist was just a bit too tight.

She never commented, gave him space, and allowed him to initiate physical contact.

She didn’t need to know, he rationalized, it wasn’t her burden to bear.

Then he began to hold her at arm’s length. She pushed, gently, and he pushed back, harder. He knew she was only trying to help, but he needed to figure it out for himself, lest he hurt her again. She only sighed, and relented. While her concern was apparent with how she watched him with just a little more unease, she gave him space.

However, while she was an exceptionally patient person, there was only so much distance and space one could handle. When she reached out, worried, and pressed just a little harder, he withdrew completely, and his rationalization slowly evolved. Stop hovering. Don’t need you treating me like I’m broken. Don’t need your pity.He ignored the pain that flashed in her eyes, the quiet desperation in her voice whenever she called after him after he refused to listen, and the increasingly familiar ache in his entire body when he began to avoid and refuse her touch.

It was the small things, because when the nightmares started, it wasn’t so easy to ignore.

-*-*-*-

“—eathe, Spencer. That’s good, breathe.”

The mumbled affirmations continued as he slowly processed his surroundings.

Queen-sized bed. Egyptian cotton sheets. Breathe in. Goose-feather down pillows. A firmer memory foam pillow that smelled of her shampoo. Breathe out.

Safety.

He was still bleary-eyed when he sunk back down, burying half his face in the pillows and ashamed as he mumbled a quiet apology. Her voice was kind, understanding, telling him it was alright as she tucked a stray lock of curls away from his face. When he seemed to settle back down, her hand gentle rested on his jaw, thumb absently tracing his cheekbone.

“Do you want to talk—”

“No.”

She frowned, sighed, took a moment to flick on the lamp light and collect her thoughts; he could see, through his lashes, the gears turning in her head about how to proceed. Meanwhile, he heaved a sighed, and sat up against the headboard. His eyes closed, doing the same as her. She then reached out, touched his hand, grazed her thumb over his knuckles and drew circles on the back. It started slow, hesitant—she was surprised that he didn’t recoil, and frankly, so was he—but the motion was familiar, grounding, so he let her continue. He knew it helped her focus as well.

“Spence, you’re…you need to talk to someone—it doesn’t have to be me! But bottling it up all inside, it’s clearly tearing you apart.”

“I agreed to start talking with my therapist, haven’t I?”

His voice was flat, defensive.

“But you haven’t, and…knowing you, you won’t be telling them the whole truth.” His jaw tightened and his lips pursed, his hand gripping the sheets flexed, and he looked away from her, intently staring at a random point in the room that wasn’t her. As always, she seemed to know him far too well.

She let out a breath of a sigh; she knew he was beginning to shut her out again. Her free hand lifted to his shoulder, rested in the crook of his neck.

“I’ve told you before, that you’ve started to shut people out. I know–I know you’re so, so strong, but you don’t have to face it alone. You don’t need to hold the weight of the world on your shoulders; we’re not as fragile as you seem to think we are.” She paused, contemplating. “If you need someone with distance that you can trust, call Derek, call Hotch, even, but remember, Spence, I made you a promise: I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”

When he didn’t answer, still staring off into the mid-distance, she sighed.

“I’ll leave, give you some space. Think about it.”

She was at the bedroom door when he finally cleared his throat and responded. His voice was bitter as he bit out: “You’re going to have to do a lot better than that.”

A quiet ‘wha–’slipped from her lips as she angled toward him as he shifted to sit on the edge of the bed, hands gripping the sheets tightly.

“If you want to leave, fine. You seem to be doing that quite well recently. The door’s right there and you don’t have to come back until you want to make me a charity case again. But if you want me to talk, if you think you can handle it, then be my guest. Take a seat and why don’t you make me?”

He instantly regretted the words, but some dark part of his mind as pleased that he could see the anger and annoyance spark through her as she inhaled deeply and slowly turn around to face him in full. “I will if that’s what it will take.”

Spencer’s gaze hardened.

“You don’t have the fucking guts.”

A brief moment passed as she took him in full, eyes flashing. Spencer raised his gaze, challenging, daring her, and then, the same, shadowed part of his mind was savagely happy that he had finally gotten a rise out of her, because she bit back with venom.

“Fucking try me.”

And then, he watched her warily as she visibly froze, then deflate, her jaw tightening and eyes welling with unshed tears as she stumbled backward to the door.

“But–but not like this. Not like this. I’m–I’m so sorry you didn’t–you don’t deserve…” Her voice was quiet, but it was hitched with a swirl of emotions Spencer couldn’t pinpoint, and he was suddenly aware of the hot tears dripping down his cheeks. “I’m going–I’m going to go…” He heard the doorknob turn, and suddenly the sound of gunshots rang in his ears, and he could the taste the metallic bitterness as blood and dead brown eyes filled his vision.

Wait. Wai- She was halfway out the door when he called out, voice cracking, and through blurred tears he saw her shut the door and shuffled and stumbled back into the room toward him, kneeling in front of him. Through the ringing in his ears, he could hear the whispers of his name and the urgency of the apologies. And then his eyes fluttered closed when she reached up to brush the tears away, and the motion opened the floodgates. It was one of the many little touches they shared—thumbs wiping over cheeks and hands cupping faces—and he had half a mind to shove her aside, but dear God he hadn’t felt it in far too long; he leaned, almost desperately, into her touch and he could hear her sniffling back her own tears.

Fuck.

He was always like this.

His passive aggressiveness was his defense mechanism; he lashed out blindly whenever he felt vulnerable, not caring who he hurt and how much. It was something she had been helping him work through, and he thought he was getting better, but here he was, hurting her because of it again.

Not like this.

He barely noticed that she had pulled him into a tender hug, but now that he did process the warmth of her embrace seeping into his bones, he wanted to push it away. He didn’t – he didn’t deserve this but now she was pulling back, and it sent a brief course of panic through his body, a fear that she was pulling away, away from him, away from the darkness and shadows that loomed permanently over him. He wouldn’t blame her, but–but…oh.

Her eyes always spoke volumes for her, and now that she had firmly tilted his chin up, her gaze firm, resolved.

“I know you are feeling vulnerable, and I know that you believe you can do this on your own.” She breathed in deeply. In turn he gazed up at her through his tears, as evenly as he could, and she met it without wavering. “You are strong, Spencer Reid, so, so strong, been so for so long. But…but I made a promise that I would always be by your side, and I’m never going to break it. So please.” Her voice hitched, and his breath caught in his throat. “Please, trust in me, one more time. Just one more time.”

Moments ticked by to the time of his heartbeat before he finally nodded, and the relief and the elation in her eyes soothed the dull pain inside his heart. This time, he drew her into his arms and into his lap and sighed as he leaned into the crook of her neck.

Thank you.

I love you, too.

-*-*-*-

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”

—Maya Angelou

-*-*-*-

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neverdoingmuch · 4 years ago

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a superhero au from this ask.

okay so in this au superheroes join different sects as disciples and go through a superhero training program and then if they pass they become official superheroes for the sect

for the most part things stay the same, your good guys go out and defeat evil and save the day but there’s also a bunch of extra stuff bc they’re in a sect

the extra stuff is mostly legal stuff like if you destroy a building in a fight, who pays for it and what happens if a superhero goes rogue, who stops them?

so the sects are good bc they give that security and also make sure things run smoothly, so you don’t end up with three superheroes in the one area

obviously you still have independent superheroes but they usually get picked up by a sect pretty quickly (or join the wens who are just the bad guys i guess but shh they’re hiding it,, badly)

for the most part though, new heroes realise they can’t cut it and quit

notice the most, because there are a few people who don’t, including people like the yiling patriarch

so, worldbuilding aside, let’s start with lwj

bc we still have sects, lwj and lxc both went through the training program together and even graduated a few years early, meaning they debuted pretty young

they were both way too powerful to actually be needed in the field most of the time so lxc ended up helping his uncle and lwj started teaching at the training program (and even when he is needed, it’s usually enough just to send lxc, so he hasn’t been active in like five years)

life is going pretty okay for lwj but then there’s a fight between some wens and yllz and a building ends up being destroyed - lwj’s apartment building

at first he’s like whatever i’ll just stay at a hotel till it gets fixed but then he gets told that there’s some issue with the building regulations so it’ll be more than a year

lwj goes apartment hunting and ends up finding the perfect apartment. it’s spacious and convenient and looks really nice and the only drawback is his neighbour (spoiler: it’s wwx)

now we have wwx

he used to be a disciple with the jiang sect and was on track to graduate their training program probably even younger than the twin jades but then he dropped out suddenly. no one knows why

what happened was that wwx had befriended wen ning at an intersect meeting thing where the training heroes could compete against each other

when wen ning found out the truth about the wens being evil, he begged wen qing to take their family and leave the wens to get to safety. wen qing refused bc who would they go to? who would risk everything they had to keep them safe?

wei wuxian would.

and he did!! when he found out what the wens had gone through, he immediately quit the jiang sect and spent the next four years helping them go in hiding, making fake identities etc.

the only people who refused to leave were wen qing and wen ning and a-yuan so wwx was like i’ve done my best now we gotta live and ends up buying an apartment for the four of them and gets a job

at night he goes out as yllz and tries to bring the wens down. it’s slow-going at first and he’s just busting minor crimes and not really gathering any useful information but he keeps going bc a-yuan and the others will never be safe for as long as the wens are able to keep hurting people

he works a full-time job during the day and spends his nights fighting crime and he’s always tired and sore but it’s fine because he needs to do this but then one day his new neighbour moves in next door

the first time he meets him, he’s come back from work and by the time he bakes a welcome cake it’s like 10:40 and he goes over and knocks on his neighbour’s door and the guy eventually answers and holy fuck he’s hot (also grumpy bc lwj does not appreciate being woken up)

lwj slams the door in his face without even taking it from him, so wwx just leaves it on his doorstep and goes back home to nap for a few hours before going on patrol

the next day when he gets home from work there’s a letter in front of his door and when he opens it it just says thanks for the cake it was very delicious if unnecessary

wwx writes on the back: it’s all fine! i’m glad you liked it. if you need any help settling in, i’d be more than happy to help. he adds his phone number and then he leaves the note on lwj’s door and that’s where it all starts

the next morning he wakes up to a text from lwj saying that he appreciates the offer & his name. it’s short and kind of rude but wwx is lying there going lan zhan, lan zhaaaan, his name is lan zhan

they run into each other in the morning a few times and take the elevator down together and wwx always chatters at him. lwj doesnt really respond but he doesn’t tell him to shut up either so that’s practically permission

and wwx is no idiot. he knows that hot neighbour + texting ability = potential romance so he makes sure to text lwj a lot

and by a lot, i mean a lot. lwj is sitting in a meeting with his brother and by the time he finishes he has fifty new messages

but that’s okay bc lwj kinda likes the attention he thinks? lwj’s neighbour is funny and cute

and after a while, lwj starts responding properly. it’s not like he’s sending 50 messages back but he’s engaging wwx in conversation and sometimes they call and once, when wwx was coming back from work, lwj had invited him in for tea

when lwj realises that wwx goes to work early and gets home late he starts inviting wwx over for dinner. wwx doesn’t mention that wen ning is more than able to cook dinner (if he ever mentioned that he was living with him at all) and they start having dinner not-dates and sometimes wwx falls asleep on lwj’s couch

the first few times wwx always felt really guilty bc lwj doesn’t want to put up with that and he’s letting down the wens but wen qing is like no, it’s good, you need to take some time for yourself and lwj is like it’s fine so whatever, wwx can sleep on lwj’s couch now

except it’s not just lwj’s couch bc wwx keeps waking up leaning on lwj and it’s very embarrassing bc he’s starting to find that he has difficulties sleeping without being able to hear lwj’s heartbeat

so wwx is falling in love. wen ning is supportive and wen qing is probably laughing at him but wwx is so conflicted

on one hand, wwx’s entire life revolves around the wens and trying to stop them or protect them, and here lwj is, a completely normal man, who has no expectations about wwx. he doesn’t need to be a guardian for lwj, he doesn’t need to be the terrifying yiling patriarch, he can just be wwx

on the other hand, lwj is a civilian and wwx doesn’t want to drag lwj down with him and risk him getting hurt or killed

so he decides to stay as friends. he won’t give lwj up but he won’t tell him he loves him (unless something happens to make wwx need to give lwj up, in which case he will)

around this time lwj gets a call from his uncle asking for help with the yllz

he’s never met him before but lwj does not like the yllz

like yes he’s taking down the wens which probably makes him good but he’s also taking what the wens had stolen for himself

so no one knows whether he’s a villain stealing from the wens or a hero who doesn’t trust the official means

Either way it’s a bad look for lwj & co bc they either look incompetent for not knowing about this guy & not being able to stop him or untrustworthy and maybe even corrupt

but lqr wants lwj to either bring him in as a disciple or as a criminal. whichever is easier

the first time hanguang-jun shows up to a fight wwx is completely shocked bc he vaguely remembers seeing hanguang-jun fight at the practise matches and he was good, definitely on par with wwx so if hanguang-jun were to fight him he isn’t sure that he’d win.

wwx quickly finishes off the wens and then turns to lwj, refusing to let his guard down but hanguang-jun just asks what he’s doing

wwx is cagey at first but eventually reveals the truth (or as much as he can tell) and hanguang-jun is like i don’t like your methods but what you’re doing is just, so i’ll help you and so commences the most awkward team up ever

wwx had expected to have to carry most of the weight but hanguang-jun is there defending him and helping him fight the wens and he can’t help but start to trust hanguang-jun.

hanguang-jun blocks a hit meant for wwx and wwx spends like half an hour carefully cleaning the wound on his arm and bandaging it up and at the end he presses a kiss to it and he immediately goes bright red but it’s okay bc hgj’s ear are red too

wwx slips on a roof and hgj ends up catching him and damn he’s strong and the look of concern on his face is almost making wwx think hgj doesn’t hate him

hgj brings in some intel once and wwx automatically goes damn i could kiss you right now and then decides to just become one with the floor

not only that but wwx talks a lot. when he’s patrolling, when he’s fighting, when he’s waiting,, he never shuts up and hanguang-jun listens to him every time and, just as wwx fell for lwj, he starts falling for hanguang-jun

it’s even worse in this case bc hanguang-jun is all righteous and good and here wwx is using the superhero equivalent of demonic cultivation (has he perverted his own powers or did he always have necromancy powers? up to you)

so here wwx is falling in love with hanguang-jun and lwj and he feels terrible about it

there is definitely a case going on in the background but it’s basically just the sunshot campaign if only lwj and wwx were fighting it for the most part

eventually he complains to wq about his feelings and she’s like just try confessing! so the next time he and hanguang-jun team up he tells him that he loves him

lwj is 100% in love wwx and semi in love with yllz. for the most part, the things he loves about yllz all remind him of wwx so he doesn’t really see it as a crush as much as more yearning for wwx

but lwj is very awkward so he gives this kinda terrible rejection? he’s like im sorry, i don’t return your feelings maybe we should work apart for a while?

from his pov he’s giving yllz room to deal w/ his emotions alone and they’ll team up later but from wwx’s pov hanguang-jun is so disgusted he never wants to work with him again

so they go their separate ways and when wwx gets a tip-off about some weird shit about to go down at nightless city so he sneaks in by himself bc hanguang-jun definitely wouldn’t want to help him and ends up getting captured by wen ruohan

lwj, for his part, is freaking out bc wwx hasn’t responded to his texts in over a week and maybe he’s come on too strong and wwx has figured out his feelings and is letting him down gently? (by disappearing??)

but then wq comes banging on his door and asks to come in. he lets her in and she immediately tells him i know you’re hanguang-jun

lwj is defensive and ready to be blackmailed or something but she just explains that wwx has gone missing and he’d received a tip the day before he disappeared and when lwj sees the message wwx had got he’s just like why is wwx involved with the wens?

because he’s yllz, wen qing tells him and lwj is Buffering

reason 1: yllz wasn’t meant to be someone he liked and lwj had definitely been feeling guilty about the fact that he would need to be brought in bc he is morally dubious on main & he can’t reconcile that with the sweet and kind wwx

reason 2: holy shit does wwx like me?

bc lwj is a disaster he only ends up asking about the latter and wq stares at him, dead-eyed and exhausted, and tells him wwx is in love with lwj and hanguang-jun

commence lwj’s plan to get wwx back and confess to him and hopefully get married but he’ll be happy if they just kiss and/or hold hands

he starts off by explaining most of the stuff to his brother who ends up calling jyl (bc they have to be friends, i’ll cry if they’re not) who is like my brother?!! and decides to help. also probably nhs bc friends who share porn definitely save each other from wen ruohan

so they attack the wens. for most of the heroes it’s bc they finally have proof of wen ruohan being evil (helpfully collated in a colour-coordinated binder by wwx) but lwj is just there for wwx

he finds him in the dungeons or something and wwx is hurt kind of badly and lwj collapses beside him and presses down on the main wound, trying to stop the bleeding

and wwx goes hanguang-jun? what are you doing here? and lwj says nothing just pushing down harder bc he’s losing too much blood and wwx is like oh, do you hate me that much that you won’t even speak to me anymore?

lwj can’t bear it for another second and rips his mask off and wwx just gawks at him. lan zhan? you’re hanguang-jun? wwx stammers and lwj just nods and rips some fabric from his cape (would he have a cape?) and tries to bandage the wound

wwx asks him why he’s here, why he bothered to come for wwx when he doesn’t care for him but he passes out before lwj can actually say anything

he wakes up in hospital and lwj is sleeping in the chair beside him and the second wwx twitches he jolts up and stares at wwx with such relief that wwx wants to blush

i love you, lwj says, not waiting for another second. the reason i didnt accept your confession was because i loved you. i didnt know you were yllz

and wwx is like and i didnt know you were hanguang-jun!! and lwj is like yeah but wen qing did /:

and wwx is like yeah but she’s smart & they kinda fall quiet for a few moments before wwx is like did you know i think hanguang-jun is very handsome and lwj is like yes? and wwx is like good! lwj is also handsome!

and lwj is like yllz and wwx are attractive to me and they finally kiss and it’s not a complete disaster thankfully

after that lwj goes back to his semi-retirement bc he doesn’t need to catch yllz anymore and sometimes wwx comes in to help teach a class with him and they’ll go home to lwj’s apartment after and watch movies together and not once do they comment on the miscommunication between love interests

#i forgot to find a place to include this in the au but lwj's mum was definitely an unaffiliated superhero #and part of the reason lwj is suspicious of wwx #this ended up being very long sorry!#mdzs #modao zushi #mo dao zu shi #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #cql #the untamed

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hwanuels · 5 years ago

Text

n.jm: where are you?

summary: jaemin is just a little (very) misunderstood

pairing: highschool!fboi!jaemin x fem!reader

note: gUESS WHOSE BACK IN TOWN?!?!?!? y’all already know the routine: poor grammar, crackheads, a fuck ton of cursing i think, and drug references (*coughs* stoner-boi!haechan *coughs*). this isn’t the last part so theres def gonna be a part three, i just have too much to write for jaemin and i don’t wanna rush things too much, but i also don’t wanna leave you all hanging. so enjoy. but also make sure to read part one first so you can be in the know~

“because she knew that i was in love with you”

it took you a good m i n u t e to register jaemin’s words, not that you even comprehended the weight of his words either.

you didn’t know how to respond so like a normal person you started laughing awkwardly to ease the tension, “you’re joking right?”

he hAD to be bc there was no way in hell that the biggest fuckboy of the whole school, na jaemin once harbored a one-sided love for you, right?

a small flash of hurt flashed across jaemin’s eyes that you couldn’t catch since his whole demeanor immediately brighten u again and one of his signature playful smiles on was back on his face.

.“i can’t ever fool you can i?” he chuckled shaking his head.

“no but seriously, why didn’t you go to hoco sophomore year? you were supposed to be hoco royalty with ella,” you picked at the melting ice cream.

jaemin shrugged, “maybe i just didn’t feel like it.”

he seems so nonchalant on the outside, but on the inside, na jaemin is thinking of 1001 ways to disappear off the face of the earth.

what did he expect in the first place? that you would just accept his belated confession that quickly?

but he’s now big s a d, but he ain't going let that show. no, no, no, it ruins his go-with-the-flow personality and the “playboy” role everyone put him in.

“do you have something to do after school tomorrow?” jaemin asked once the two had finished your sundae and the two of you were waiting for your ride to come to pick you up.

you shook your head at his question, knowing that haechan would mostly like ditch your afterschool hang out to get high with mark or chill at that one girl's house

“why?” you asked.

“how about we hang out then?” jaemin asked so casually. he was just that good at hiding his real feels

“can i ask why you’re suddenly trying to hang out with me more often? its weird” you say back, not like the feeling that was bubbling in your throat. was he trying to mess around with you? did he run out of girls to play with?

jaemin pouted slightly, ‘i’m simply trying to reconnect with my old friend. besides, i need help with the prom decorations and since you already finished it, you should know how to do them quickly.”

“i’ll see” is all you say.

and you leave, not knowing what you did to his poor little heart.

poor jaemin got ghosted bc you never reached out to him in the days to follow to “hang out”. the two of you would make eye contact at school, but you always quickly looked away.

:( x 10

it wasn’t that jaemin was shock by your cold treatment, but he was holding onto the hope that you didn’t see him as na jaemin the resident fuckboi, but as na jaemin the boy who was once the prince to your little princess. except jaemin knew very well that this isn’t a fairy tale, just cruel reality.

life is a little bitch and it was messing him the fuck up!

however, na jaemin is a coward and he knows this.

which is why he feels more comfortable when he’s surrounded by others wearing the mask that was carefully crafted for him than when he’s all by himself.

bc when’s he completely alone, when no one is around, he’s left with no one but himself.

the one person he hates the most in the world.

when did it begin?

when did he care more about what others think than what he thought? when did he begin to follow the crowd?

when did he lose himself?

maybe it began around sophomore year, when he first agreed to date ella. something that he wouldn’t have agreed to if it weren’t for you asking that of him.

he could never say no to you. the one who held his heart in the palm of his hands.

did he ever like ella?

he tried to, but it was kinda hard when the only reason why he said yes to her confession was to make you happy. he remembered the way your eyes lit up in happiness as he and ella broke the news to you

you looked like the happiest girl in the world and he felt his heart race at the sight, but not when ella confess to him.

it was useless pining, he knew that. you only saw him as a close friend and especially now that he was with your bestfriend.

that was why he tried soooooo hard to get himself to feel things for ella.

he spent most of his time with her, even ditching his homie student-athlete!jeno (who he often found himself feeling jealous of when he found out that jeno crashed at your house to have a movie marathon with you multiple times)

but he just couldn’t feel anything for ella. so he began to lie.

the first time he lied, it ate him up inside. the simple three words, eight letters phrase was hard to say when you don’t actually mean it.

but as jaemin found himself repeating the lie over and over again, the guilt that was always lingering in the back of his mind slowly went away until he had gotten used to it.

it became natural for him to lie.

to everyone and to himself

people always told him that it must be nice having a face like his, but every time he looked in the mirror, he felt nothing but hatred for the person staring back at him.

at school, he did nothing but play the charming guy that everyone saw him as. he did things that would please the crowd and he felt good when they responded the way he wanted. he overlooked things that he once thought was wrong just to be in good graces with the others.

when donghyuck had his little altercation with jeno, jaemin never felt more jealous in his life. donghyuck chose to be himself, he broke free of the mold that everyone fit him in. he had the courage that jaemin doesn’t

if someone told him to take off his persona, he wouldn’t know what to do. he’s lived this way for so long that he had forgotten who he really was. what he really wanted in life. what truly made him happy.

was he even happy? jaemin didn’t know.

which is why he didn’t know what to do when he overheard ella’s conversation with one of her other friends.

“do we really have to invite y/n too? i don’t want her do come with us to hoco. she’s such a party pooper.”

“i don’t want to either, but i’m only keeping her around because she’s the reason why i’m with jaemin in the first place.”

“isn’t weird that the two of them have been close friends for a while and she hasn’t had any feeling for him?”

“she did,” he hears ella admit. “until i told her that i liked jaemin and then she totally dropped him like that for me.”

“she’s kind of annoying though, always hanging around the two of you. she’s kinda clingy too, no one even likes her in our group.”

“just deal with her for now and we can ice her out later.”

FAKE BITCHES

anyways, jaemin didn’t know what to do so he walked away and pretended that he didn’t hear the conversation. but there's only so much he can just ignore, and this is one of them.

the familiar guilt comes crawling up every time he sees you, smiling with the people that called themselves your “friends”.

it doesn’t take long for jaemin to come to the realization that he’s surrounded by liars. and enough is enough.

well, he still has an image to maintain.

so he chose to break up with ella and actually tell the truth for once, but only to her. to be honest, the truth was kinda forced to come out by itself.

“what do you mean that you’re not going?” he hears ella’s frantic voice and the music playing in the background. maybe it wasn’t a good idea to do the breaking up part the night of homecoming.

good work, jaemin.

“i don’t think that this is going to work between us. i’m sorry”

was he really?

“but you said that you loved me!”

that was just a lie. he thought to himself. “i just don’t feel the same anymore, ella, please understand.” i never did.

“it’s because of her isn’t it? you’ve been in love with y/n this whole time haven’t you?” and jaemin’s blood runs cold.

the music was gone, so ella must have gone to a more quieter, private place.

“i’m not blind jaemin. the way you looked at her, the way you always find yourself next to her; i saw it all,” ella begins “i knew ever since you said yes to me.”

“then why didn’t you say anything? you just let me lie to you like that?”

“lying is the best solution, jaemin, you should know that the best.”

lying is bad kids, don’t do - admin minnie

jaemin could already feel the backlash he was going to receive. he spent the entire hoco night at home preparing himself for the shit that was going to go down the next day at school.

except nothing happened to him.

you had received the hatred, the eyeing, the whispers. you were the one that was iced out, outcasted, not jaemin.

jaemin was too afraid for the same thing happening to him, so he turned his head the other way.

“i just don’t understand why everyone is giving y/n the silent treatment. why are they mad at her? what did she do?” jaemin shrugs at jeno’s angry rant.

jeno had the right to be mad, you were dragged in to be jaemin’s scapegoat.

“and why did you break up with ella anyways? i thought everything was going good?”

“i was bored.”

it was pure irony and the biggest bitch slap in jaemin’s face that you had befriended lee donghyuck, the one person that he envied so wholeheartedly.

jaemin couldn’t do anything, no, he didn’t want to do anything he didn’t want to step out of the little safety persona that he created for himself. he didn’t want to lose all the people that surrounded him. he doesn’t want to be alone.

he hates being alone.

he’ll much rather take on the role of the fuckboy that he hates so much if that meant that people would still stick around him.

which brings him to his current dilemma

“i don’t see why you don’t just put up the image and just go with ella to hoco,” art-hoe!renjun says as the two of them walk to english “the two of you are both going to be king and queen anyways, just go.”

“maybe,” jaemin says, eliciting in a pointed glare from renjun

“you can’t just ditch prom just because of her, this the last year and are you really going to go down as the prom king that didn’t show up to prom?”

“i won’t win for sure, so there's really no point in me going,” jaemin replies

renjun rolls his eyes, and he taps a random passing student on the shoulder, “who do you think is going to win prom royalty this year?” he asks the stranger.

without missing a beat, the student replies, “jaemin and ella, why?”

and renjun’s face is the exact embodiment of i-told-you-so

instead of that motivating jaemin to actually go, it actually made him WANT to skip out on the event even more

“y/n ask to me to ask you if you gave ella all of the decorations for prom or something like that,” jeno tells him at lunch, causing jaemin’s eyes to drift over to you and haechan.

he wonders what the two of you are talking about that has you smiling that hard. he wonders what haechan has that he doesn't.

maybe its his natural-born charisma? not the artificial type that jaemin has mastered the act of.

“earth to jaemin,” jeno waves a hand in front of his friend’s face.

“sorry, yeah, i’m turning it in after school,” he replies, eyes lingering on you for one more second before focusing on the food on his tray, “besides, she could have asked me directly.”

“she had dinner at my house last night,” jeno replies, “what’s got your panties in a twist anyway?”

“not all of us is about to confess our feelings to our puppy crush, lover boy,” renjun pipes in.

jeno’s ears turn a tinge of pink, but jaemin wasn't focused on that.

and jeno might be a bit slow academically, but jaemin is his best buddy, his platonic soulmate.something was up.

“you have three seconds to spill before i will actually expose where you were hoco sophomore year to y/n” jeno threatens

“tell her, it’s not going to make a difference anyways,” jaemin pokes at his food “she has no interest in me what’s so over. i’m just another one of those fuckboys in her eyes.”

jeno and renjun share a look, before renjun decides to break the news to jaemin

“you haven’t been talking to her lately right?” renjun starts and jaemin nods

“the last time we talk was two weeks ago,” jaemin replies “she doesn’t have any other reason to interact with me like she does with jeno”

“before we continue with this conversation, can the green-eyed monster please leave the room?” renjun takes a small jab at jaemin.

“i’m not jealous,” jaemin looks up with an irked glare at renjun.

“then did you really need to mention jeno?” renjun returns the look with an annoyed expression of his own

jaemin scoffs, “you don’t understand, so don’t say anything,”

“tell me what i don’t understand then? because right now i have feeling the only reason you’re so pent up and annoyed is that you’re jealous, jaemin.”

“shut up,” jaemin snaps. “i’m not jealous.”

smiley and easy-going jaemin is gone out the door. everything coming out of renjun’s mouth is making him angrier and angrier and jaemin didn’t even know why.

renjun was speaking the truth. jaemin was jealous, but was he going to admit that?

nope

“it’s okay to be jealous,” jeno says, meaning to ease the slowly growing tension, but jeno’s attempts to mediate the conversation made jaemin even madder.

“can the two get the fuck off my case and leave me alone? i’m not jealous so stop acting like you know how i feel,” jaemin clenches his jaw “it’s really fucking annoying.”

“oh really now?” renjun fires back “it’s really fucking annoying how you expect the two of us to have your back, which we always do, and be fully okay with you going around town acting like a man whore and then being prissy about how the girl you’re interested in this time isn’t interested in you. this isn’t some type of cliche teen romance movie jaemin, grow a pair and deal with it.”

“so you think i’m a man whore too?” jaemin says sarcastically, rolling his eyes, “nice to know that my best friends think so highly of me.”

“jaemin, you know he doesn’t mean it like that,” jeno says.

“then what? it seems to me that you guys have been having a blast talking behind my back and lying about it to my face.”

“when did we say that?” jeno’s eyebrows furrow.

“you don’t need to say it for me to know,” jaemin spits “it’s written all over your faces.”

“i’m done,” renjun stands up, “when you’re ready to grow the fuck up and stop being a fucking dick bag, then find me.”

jaemin doesn’t even bother watching renjun leaving the table, anger was still consuming him. was it anger or frustration?

there was scream lodged in his throat that he wanted to release to the world. a pained scream of helplessness.

“hey jaemin,” jeno has a hard look on his face. he too stands up and leaves with some hard-hitting words, “learn to get over that ridiculously big ego of yours. not everything is about you.”

and jaemin is left at the lunch table

alone

fuck, he thinks to himself. fuck everything.

yeah, no way in hell was jaemin going to prom. no fucking way.

“looks like there’s trouble in paradise,” haechan gestures with his head to the table, near the center.

jaemin’s table, except, it’s literally only jaemin sitting there.

out of the corner of your eyes, you could see and angry renjun followed by an equally ticked of jeno stalking off.

“looks like the pretty boy is left by himself,” haechan remarks. “i wonder what happened?

“why are you saying that like you know what just went down?” you squint your eyes at the boy, who merely shrugs.

“spill”

“give me fifty bucks.”

“fuck off”

not long after, you hear a loud slam. jaemin stands up, his eyes quickly met yours and he looked away, going with haste out the cafeteria’s doors.

and you’re left wondering what the fuck went down at the norenmin table.

“okay, i’m done with all the fucking vague answers,” you stare down haechan, trying to intimidate an answer out of the stoner.

“why the fuck did jaemin not go to homecoming sophomore year and do not give me a smartass answer because i will without a doubt flush your weed stash down the drain and break your juul pens to bits. now, spill.”

damn, y/n going in for the kill

haechan hesitates before a sigh leaves his lips, “i don’t pride myself on much other than my ridiculously good looks and my ability to bargain good weed deals, but long long before i became so awesome-”

“cut to the chase”

“chill, bitch, i was getting there. anyways, i was basically jaemin’s confide,” haechan admits. “that’s why he’s so awkward around me, i basically know all of his personal secrets and all that jazz.”

and you’re shocked bc haechan is really reallllllllllllllllllllllllllllly petty with both of the ts bolded, and he has not once let any private info slip about jaemin, like the kind of deep shit, you’d write in your diaries.

not once sober or faded or drunk. the loud ass himself kept his lips seals which is an incredible feat already.

“don’t look at me like that, i’m a dick, but i’m not that big of dick,” haechan mutters “we all have things we don’t want the world to know “

“okay i won’t question that, but why didn’t he just go? i mean it’s just a school dance, right? its not that big of deal,” you don’t understand the extreme mystery or drama around jaemin’s non-appearance.

haechan shakes his head, “jaemin isn’t a simple as people make him out as, sure he fucks around with girls a lot, but like me, he wasn’t always like that.”

you nod in understanding, agreeing with the point haechan made

jaemin for sure wasn’t the same person that you knew right now. he was always a sweet boy with sweet words, but before high school, he never went around messing around with other girls

“the only choice that jaemin ever made his sophomore year that was his actual choice for his own self was to not go to homecoming, for a good reason too”

“can you be a little bit more detailed?” you urged again, curiosity flowing through you.

“he didn't go because for once he didn't want to be associated with that crowd, he didn't want to be surrounded by people who hardly gave a damn how he felt, only who he was”

haechan’s words reside in you for the longest time and you finally got a glimpse of what your normally stoned friend meant through an accidental eavesdrop of a conversation

“im not going ella, it's final,” jaemin’s voice has no trace of the playful, flirty tone it usually held. he was stern and hard with his words.

“are you really going to embarrass me again, jae?” ella sounded desperate “its just one dance. all you have to do is stand by my side and smile until we get those stupid crowns and take yearbook pictures”

“if you think they’re stupid crowns then why are you making me go?” jaemin argues back.

“you should be glad that i even helped you with your campaign. why else do you think everyone is voting for you?”

and jaemin’s voice goes to a lower, warning tone, “i’ve never ask to be nominated for royalty much less fucking prom king. i don't care what you or anyone has to say, i’m not fucking going to prom.”

your eyes meet jaemin’s as he walks past the aisle you were standing at (totally not peeping into his convo)

he has an emotionless face on and doesn't say anything as he leaves ella quickly follows but stops when she sees you.

“forget everything you heard, he’s going to prom!”

jokes on you ella, bc hes not going anywhere

guess who joined the i’m-ditching-school-because-i’m-an-emotional-wreck club!!

the next three days were hectic at school, everyone was excited for the big dance on saturday. there were last-minute promposals and girls were showing off their sparkly, expensive dresses to each other.

however, the one person that was missing and had you looking for all week was, na jaemin.

where the fuck was he now?

“have you seen jaemin? i haven't seen him at school lately,” you asked jeno, who was sitting in the library diligently waiting for his tutor/crush to arrive.

the number of times you received an “idk” from one of jaemin’s other friends was ridiculous and it was like they didn’t even care that he skipped school for three days or where he was.

jaemin might be a bit on the wild side, but he’s not the type to completely ditch school for three whole days straight. that was haechan’s job.

the only people you could rely on was jeno and renjun, but the latter was more agitated at jaemin than jeno was, so you figured that the athlete was the safer option.

“i have an idea of where he is, but i have a feeling he doesn't want to see anyone, especially today,” jeno replies. news of the norenmin argument traveled quickly around the school along with the fact that jaemin had rejected ella’s prom request. there were some rumors that were being spread about the male and they weren’t all that nice.

you knew deep inside that the two of them weren’t actually mad at jaemin, they (especially jeno) was just frustrated.

“can you slide the address though?” you asked, sliding up next to him

“why would i do that?”

“because you owe me a solid”

truthfully, you didn’t know what you were going to do with jaemin’s address and it’s been weighing you down the whole day.

“you going to prom?” haechan slides into the seat next to you. for once, there were no sunglasses covering his eyes.

you shook your head,” i don’t have anyone to go with.”

“you should have just asked mark to go with you,” haechan pointed out to which you gagged loudly.

“as if i would bring an actual twelve-year-old boy to prom, he’ll probably say let’s get it every two seconds and then my hand might just actually slip and punch his face or dunk his head into the disgusting kool-aid punch..”

“damn, and i thought i hated him.”

you rolled your eyes, “what about you? did you plan to confess to mina yet?”

“i was thinking about going old school and do one of those typical high school romeo and juliet scenes,” haechan said smugly. “might throw a shoe or two if i have to.”

you shake your head in disbelief, “be civil at least.”

“but i also can’t leave my main bitch alone for prom night so why don’t go to prom or hang out with the biggest thot in town?” haechan suggested.

“haechan, ten graduated high school like 3 years ago. i doubt he wants to spend his free time on a saturday night at a high school dance with me.”

facepalm.

“i’m not talking about that ultimate thot.”

“jungwoo is also in college.”

another fat facepalm.

“honestly, i thought you had at least ONE functioning brain cell,” haechan groaned “i’m talking about na jaemin.”

“what do you want me to do with him? the two of us aren’t exactly friends,” you mumble.

“exactly, use this time to spend some time with him or something. get closer or get laid, i don’t care, just don’t be a loner tomorrow,” haechan replies. “i can’t be friends with a lameo.”

“he hasn’t shown up for school in like three days and tomorrow is prom night,” you argue “besides, i don’t know where he’s even at.”

“that’s the fattest lie i have ever heard leave your mouth and you told mr. moon that his moon tie looked good on him. i know for a fact that you have his address saved on your phone, which is kinda creepy now that i think about it, but that’s beside the point.”

“why do you care so much? i thought you hated him,” you eyed haechan weirdly.

“because that moron needs someone to help him out and whose more suited for the job herself than the girl that was hopelessly in love with him all sophomore year.”

you smack his arm,”i should have never trusted you with my diary. besides, i don’t like him like that anymore.”

“then why do you worry about him so much?” haechan pointed out. ‘why did you go to jeno for jaemin’s whereabouts if you supposedly didn’t like him anymore.”

“caring about someone is different from liking them,” you chided him “you should know best since it took you months to realize that you were in love with mina.”

“stfu i’m supposed to be the wise teacher and you’re the young grasshopper.” haechan shushed you with a finger which you swatted away.

“i’m not joking around though, just go see what’s up,” haechan nudged you. “trust me, it’s worth it.”

“wow did love turn the hardest bitch in town, soft?”

“you know, i might actually just push you off stoner’s cliff one day when you’re not looking,” haechan narrowed his eyes at you.

“lol, as if i haven’t noticed that you haven’t been getting high since mina left your pathetic ass,” you pointed out.

and haechan h i s s e s.

but your stoner friend did have a point and you decide to listen to his advice for the first time in your life.

letting out a nervous breath, you rang the doorbell, a plastic bag full of junk food in your other hand. it was currently 8 pm and prom had already started. jaemin’s car was parked in the driveway, proving that he really didn’t go to prom.

“what are you doing here?” were the first words out of jaemin’s mouth when he saw you.

you raised the bag full of snacks, “do you wanna have that hang out now?”

there's a nervous feeling in your stomach, bc you don’t know if jaemin was going to reject you or not. he doesn’t have his usual cassanova, playful smile on. his face is completely neutral.

“don’t you have better things to do? like, go to prom?”

you awkwardly laugh, “about that, i’m not going.”

“why?”

“why aren’t you going?” you countered.

fair enough, jaemin relents and moves aside to let you in. there’s some lo-fi music playing in the background and a couple of books and paper strewn about the living room floor.

“my parents are on a business trip, so it’s just me,” jaemin informs you.

“cool,” you internally smack yourself bc jaemin didn’t really seem happy with ur sudden appearance. “were you just doing ur homework?”

“yeah, i have nothing else to do,” he says, cleaning up the area for u to sit. you sit down carefully and placed the bag of snacks at the base of your feet.

“did you want anything to drink?” jaemin moved to go into the kitchen. you shook your head but jaemin still pulled out two water bottles from the fridge. (save the turtles)

you look around the house, taking in the family portraits and the minimal home decor. you’ve only been to jaemin’s house a handful of times as a kid, and a lot has changed in those past few years, but some things stayed the same. on the fireplace mantle, there was a framed picture of norenminhyuck smiling with the brightest grins.

“jeno gave me crap for weeks for not taking down that picture of us four,” jaemin followed your gaze as places the two water bottles on the glass coffee table.

“why didn’t you take it down, then?” you curiously ask

taking a seat on the couch, jaemin shrugged, “sentimental value?”

and the two left it at that.

cue the awkward silence.....

“jaemin?”

he looks at you with a questioning glance

“why exactly did you and ella break up?”

jaemin lets out a sigh. he’s been anticipating the question but not now and definitely not your sudden appearance.

“there's no point in making excuse to you,” jaemin pauses before continuing “i never really liked her in the first place.”

and you look over in shock? bc the two of them were literally the couple of the year, a model example of a high school relationship.

“then why?”

“why did i say yes?” jaemin’s gaze was focused on you, leaving you unnerved. there was no sign of the cheeky jaemin, he looked completely serious. something no one really saw that often. “because thats what you wanted me to say.”

????????? - y/n’s mind

“jeno had told me that ella had urged you to introduce me to her and had confessed to you that she liked me. he told me you felt tasked with fulfilling her wish and took it upon your self to set the two of us up. i’m not stupid, y/n. i could tell by the way you planned double-dates with jeno and ella and i,” jaemin explained. there was slight embarassment on your side, sophomore you was not the best matchmaker. “but i only showed up for you. i could care less that ella was there, the only person that i wanted to see and impress was you.”

“i-“

“and i knew that you liked me too. i was expecting for you to confess to me when you told me to meet you behind the gym, but you let ella take the chance.”

“because she really liked you a lot, jaemin, and she was a close friend of mine”

“so you were willing to give up your happiness for someone who was using you to get to me?” jaemin asked bluntly.

you looked down at your fingers, feeling somewhat ashamed, “i was only worried about fitting in with the crowd at that time. i wanted people to like me.” you confessed. “after the whole fiasco, i learned to live for myself rather than for others, albeit with a little help from haechan.”

“you see, i wish i could be as brave as you to do that.” jaemin meekly smiles at you “because i’m still people-pleasing.”

“i only said yes to ella to make you happy but then everyone was congratulating me and there were more and more people by my side. i thought jeno, renjun, and donghyuck were enough to last me through high school, but the attention got to my head. i knew that no matter how much i hated ella, i couldn’t break up with because i thrive off the crowd she brought me. i thought that if i lie enough, i could make myself gain feelings for her. she was a kind and outgoing person, so i didn't think it would be that hard, except it never did happen,” jaemin sucked in his breath “i overheard a conversation by accident to one of her other friends and it was about you, about how they just used to you to get to me even though the knew you liked me. i knew that then i was surrounded by so many liars all with the same goal of getting in good with everyone.”

he continued on “the reason why i didn't want to go to hoco was bc i felt guilty. i didn't want to be another person that lived for the crowd and i knew that i would've sealed my future if i did go and get crowned king with ella. for once, i didn't want to be a liar. i just wanted to be myself.”

and then he bitterly chuckled to himself, “which is ironic since the next day i chased after the crowd again. i let you take the blame for me just because i was afraid of being outcasted even though it was my fault you had to suffer the consequences of my lie.”

“jaemin-“

“and then i kept pretending to be that stupid fuckboy that everyone painted me as just to be in the it-crowd or whatever. i don’t have anything special like how renjun has art and jeno has his sports, even haechan had something special like choir back in those days. i had nothing, i wasn’t known for anything and i’m still not known for anything other than being a fuckboy. i’m just na jaemin at the end of the day, talented in messing around with girls.”

“do you feel happy?” you carefully asked after jaemin finished his rant.

jaemin’s barely smiling at this point, “what do you think?”

“you know, i was never really mad about you about the whole ella situation,” you scooted closer to him on the couch. “at first, i blamed you because that was the easier option, pin the blame on someone else. until a certain someone told me to fuck what they say and live my own way.”

“haechan?”

you nodded, “he was the first person that i didn’t pretend or try to cater myself to fit his needs. we’re alike in that department, jaemin, we both want to be liked. i’m not going to lie, the first few months of being outcasted was hard on me. sometimes, i still get sad when i think about the day where everyone just abandoned me.”

“i’m sorry.”

“there’s no need to be sorry, jaemin because i can hardly care about it that much anymore. do you know why?”

jaemin shook his head ‘no’

“because i learned that being by myself isn’t that bad. we’re all scared of being lonely, it’s human nature, but our fears often cause us to forget that we still have ourselves.” you placed a hand on his shoulder “once you learn to befriend yourself, no one’s opinion will matter more than your own. learn to cater to yourself, learn to live for yourself. don’t just be you, live as you.”

“easier said than done,” the remark left jaemin’s lips bitterly, causing you to slightly frown. “it’s hard to learn to be friends with myself when i’m the person i hate the most. i hate the person who looks back at me in the mirror. i hate just hate what i’ve let myself become.”

“it’s never too late to change,” you say.

jaemin shook his head, he blinked quickly to clear his now glassy eyes, “it’s to the point where i don’t even know i am anymore.”

“you’re na jaemin,” you say with a little more force this time. you didn’t like the defeated tone that jaemin was talking in, this wasn’t the confident and every positive boy that you grew up with. this wasn’t the boy that stole your heart in the third grade and kept it till sophomore year. “the boy that never hesitates to help someone else and can light up the room with just one smile.”

“you don’t have to pity me, it was a grave i dug for myself.”

letting out a harsh sigh, you moved to take jaemin’s face into your hands, staring deep into his doe-eyed brown ones, which widened in response to your sudden action.

big moves, y/n, big moves

“i know it may be hard to see, but jaemin you’re way more than what they think of you. you can always change as long as you have the will to do so,” you wipe away a stray tear that was falling onto his cheek. jaemin didn’t even notice that he was crying. “it’s a difficult and long process, but it’ll be worth it in the end. trust me.”

“what if no one wants to be around me anymore? what if i end up alone? “ doubt filled his tone, and your eyes soften at the vulnerability of the boy. he was scared, lost, and confused.

“i’ll be with you. anywhere you’re at, i’ll be there by your side even if no one else will. you’re a precious person, you don’t deserve any less,” you smiled. “i won’t let you be alone.”

maybe jaemin was just being emotional. maybe it was the contained feelings that he held for you that was being released. maybe it was the way you looked at him with so much concern and the way you delicately held his face.

whatever motivated him to do what he was going to do next, jaemin could hardly care less.

without any hesitation, jaemin leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

right now, jaemin didn’t feel lost or alone. you found him and he hoped that you’ll stay.

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daisychvins · 4 years ago

Text

｡･ﾟﾟ･ — introduction.

introducing ... violet’s demise ! aka grayson aka her big brother she’s been wiring money to stay away in europe <33333

name: grayson swag money jeon age: 22 turning 23 (don’t ask me about his sign that’s for liza to figure out someday <3) gender: cis male; he/him hometown: baltimore, maryland sexuality: bisexual & biromantic

listen i was feeling rlly committed to completing his stats but i’m already over it so don’t ask dont tell xx anYWAYS let’s get on to the juicy stuff hehe

i tend to ramble a lot so this intro is gonna be probably a mixture of paragraphs and bullet points and everything in between but let’s start simple. also i rlly wanna emphasize a massive DRUGS TW bc his character largely revolves around his interest in and addiction to drugs

blackmails

grayson is claiming that he's been in a rehab program for the last year and is now completely sober and reformed when he really was just using the money to party and travel throughout europe.

without his parents paying to support him now, he's had to start dealing to make ends meet and keep up appearances. it’s mostly coke, but he dabbles in harder substances depending on what his connections can get him.

grayson dabbles with calligraphy and was notorious for forging excuse notes and parent signatures all throughout high school and even now sells forgeries for a quick buck. the most notable of these was xavi’s letter of recommendation that helped him get into yale.

background

grayson is violet’s older brother!!1 yes, that’s right, THE big brother who’s been out of the country getting LIT (and by lit i mean he’s been traveling europe on a series of solo trips w his parents’ money and doin lots of recreational drugs)

i haven’t fully fleshed out the dynamic he has w his parents but just know it’s ,, bad ASDHFJNK basically the jeons treated their children like accessories and expected them to be their little trophies and grayson just was not having that as a kid!!! so he acted out a lot and obviously got himself into a pretty bad scene (thank u goosie) and is basically the bane of his parents existence at this point <3 yet they still try to appease him to keep him under control but that’s for the family task to work out hehehehe

despite hating his parents, he adores both of his siblings. before the drug use started, he was always a big nurturer and would have done anything for either of them......now he wouldn’t be caught dead praising violet but he loves her in secret from afar HSJDFKG

yeah basically he met goose when he was around 15 i think????? and got introduced to drugs around 16 or 17 i wanna say and by the time he graduated high school he was just....a much different person than the soft big brother he used to be. his parents sent him off to europe pretty much as soon as he turned 18 under the guise of going to school internationally, but grayson obviously knew the truth and understood that he was being sent away so he wouldn’t be his parents problem anymore.

he basically spent the last four years galavanting europe and just....trying to enjoy it???? but it’s hard to enjoy an extended vacation when u have no family or friends on ur side anymore </3 he basically used the money to stay in hostels and worked odd jobs here and there to stay afloat and keep supplied w the...special goods....but yeah lots of drugs, alcohol, sex, and recklessness but he DID learn a couple languages??? or at least enough to get through some pretty basic conversations in most european countries so <3 guess it’s all okay then!!!!

anyways idk what else to put here that u won’t just find out in the family task so uhhhhhh idk lmk if u need anything else i guess

present/personality

so now grayson is just vibing at yale obviously ummm he actually got super into writing after high school, especially poetry. he used to carry journals full of just random prose about his addiction and his deepest thoughts, as well as probably some lighter stuff about his love escapades or maybe goose idk...basically he used poetry as an outlet and it allowed him to really ground himself and find his place in the world even if it didnt include who he thought it would SO with that being said, grayson got into yale due to a poetry competition he was a part of. he saw some big fancy competition being advertised and on a whim decided to submit some poem about his struggles with addiction and losing his family (a v raw piece that he didn’t expect to ever see the light of day) and he actually ended up winning! it caught yale’s attention and they invited him to apply and, knowing how much it would probably disturb his little sister, grayson very smugly applied and was pretty stoked to see he got in

because that poem gained such publicity, it was assumed that he was a survivor of addiction and was writing from a sober perspective. he didn’t want to correct anyone, so he just went with it and has basically crafted this story about his massive success and has become an advocate for addiction treatment and rehabilitation. of course, none of the companies that sponsor him or the events that host him as a motivational speaker know that he’s snorting lines in the bathroom beforehand or dealing to half the elites, but that’s between grayson, god, and the blackmailer !

basically grayson showed back up because of violet’s blackmail being exposed. he was off in europe, unable to defend himself, and with a massive vendetta against his family so he decided what better way to reenter society than by publicly outing himself as a martyr <3333 his plan is basically to bash the family name to fulfill whatever angsty coming of age arc he has in store for him to make up for the pain of being sent away .... really angsty yeah </3 rip grayson

anyways yeah he’s a total fake. he’s been using his status as a martyr to his advantage a lot, the best example being his recruitment into the elites. he guilted them into accepting him by discussing the PR benefits of recruiting a member that struggles with addiction and how supporting addiction treatment and second chances would be such a good look for them. like he basically threatened to publicly expose them for denying him due to his troubled past and accuse them of being exclusionary so they said boop ! ur in. now the elites are proud advocates for second chances <3333

i would describe grayson as fearless, overconfident, infamous due to his condition being exposed recently, a little gloomy, he’s kind of just got this chip on his shoulder and feels like he has something to prove....he’s gotta be better than his parents, gotta stick it to them and to violet and to everyone who doubts him. he’s a grumpy guy with a massive vendetta and a need for some kind of justice. he just doesn’t know what that is yet. despite all of the bad, however, he’s genuinely a pretty good guy. he’s really goofy and a genuine person, pretty friendly with literally everyone until they give him a reason not to be. basically, unless you are a member of the jeon family he probably likes you or is at least cordial to you (unless we plot differently ofc but u know). he’s just a big lovable dummy with some sweet drug connects and a knack for poetry. he also knows calligraphy but that’s beside the point .

idk if this is enough to describe him but yeah if u have any questions just let me know hehe

this is probably gonna make things hard but considering violet was just exposed i think that he’s pretty new to yale ???? like probably just transferred in/started this spring semester rather than being here for the entire year/a prolonged amount of time so most of our plots will likely have to be newer/center on him first showing up OR we can establish their connections from pre-europe which is also fine w me....idk i didnt rlly think this timeline through so let’s just plot and see what happens aghbfjnd anyways i included some connection ideas to help us all just in case

wanted connections

i’d say he’s the honorary dealer of the elites aghbdfjn so literally anyone who needs a plug could be a potential connection. we can obviously tweak this and customize it to each character <3

maybe someone who met grayson in europe. they could have travelled together for an extended period of time or even just a brief encounter. he was over there for four years, so the possibilities are endless.

building off the last one, this same connection could work with a romantic interest. maybe they were romantically involved for a time in europe and fell out of touch or maybe grayson/your muse just left in the middle of the night and they never saw each other again until now and maybe there’s some unresolved feelings/one-sided longing or need for closure. it could also be that they just hooked up whenever this person was in the area and that was that, no strings attached.

maybe someone who genuinely believes that grayson is actually sober and really admires his strength and idk maybe they’re struggling w their own issues and seek advice from him or maybe they just make it harder for him to actually do his thing bc they’re constantly around and it’s not like they can catch him strung out and acting up

someone in the literature department or with a background in english or writing. someone he could read poetry to, or share his favorite lines with. someone who’s taken the same professors and can tell him who to watch out for or what to expect. idk i just want him to have someone to share his passions with. maybe a little crush is forming? maybe they’re just friends who share a love of fiction? idk i’m open to literally anything

he’s sort of a motivational speaker now bc he advocates for rehabilitation resources and stuff so like maybe ur muse saw him give a presentation or participate in some kind of seminar and they called bullshit on him after the show bc they were like,,, bro i literally saw u partying w max and avery last weekend what the fuck are u on about and now they could potentially hold that blackmail over his head hehe......

exes plots are always fun we love angst in this house

fuck it let’s bring another family member BHJFNGKM no but grayson rlly is a nurturing guy and like....definitely develops unhealthy attachments to cope w his loss of family so he’d love all the sibling-like bonds he can get to kinda numb the pain of “””””losing””””” violet

if none of these interest you i’m literally so down for anything pls just let me know and i’m happy to brainstorm always <333333

thank u for reading this....smooch .

#anyways this is just under 1900 words whoops #stream of consciousness wins again #intro #literally dont even have my tags sorted yet dont talk to me .

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mywitchcultblr · 4 years ago

Note

The chantry is right and mages should be in the circle. Solas and anders are terrorists and anyone who believes they arent is delusional or a hypocrite. Anders killed a hundred innocent civillian non combatants and solas wants to tear down the veil killing millions in the process. But yes we should let the people causing firestorms and summoning demons go completely un supervised

MY FIRST ARGUMENT AGAINST A TEMPLAR BOOTLICKER! YAAY!

@lordaspoons Ok listen, first of all, I'm not felassan nor dalishlicious, my writings style is different and not as good as them, and I love to use a lot of profanities in my writings, so if you ever find ‘shit ‘ or ‘fuck’ in a post, not sorry I SWEAR THIS POST HAVE MORE THAN 7K WORDS! That’s why it took MONTHS for me to answer it

TEMPLAR AND CHANTRY ARE GOD-AWFUL AND CIRCLE IS NOT NECESSARY

Let’s see the canonical narrative okay? Let's take a look at Dragon Age keep descriptions of each MAGES heroes story and background.

Mage Hawke:

The son of Malcolm Hawke and Leandra Amell, Garrett has lived in many places throughout Ferelden. His father was a mage whose gifts were passed onto both Garrett and Bethany, Malcolm's daughter.

Malcolm refused to submit himself to the Chantry's rule; he kept his abilities a secret and taught his children to do the same.

Therefore, the family was constantly on the move to avoid templar hunters. Ten years ago, the family settled in the village of Lothering, building a home on the outskirts and making a life where they wouldn't forever be on the run.

Though Leandra worried constantly that the templars would one day catch up with them, Malcolm's teachings were sufficient to keep them safe.

He died three years ago, leaving Garrett responsible for the welfare of his mother and younger siblings. When the Blight began, Carver enlisted in King Cailan's regiment, saying the horde spilling from the Korcari Wilds meant their home would be quickly overrun if the darkspawn were not defeated immediately.

If the circle is not a goddamn prison that literally abused and drive so many mages to commit suicide then why the fuck hawke father decided to escaped and run away? The fact that even though his wife is a noble, a noble who should have been powerful enough to support him and their children and protect Malcom and their children with her name and connection is Kirkwall were forced to live in secret and ON THE RUN WITH HER FAMILY! is another of many many proofs that the system that chantry created for Thedas HURT everyone, whatever you are a peasant or a noble, if you have a mage in your family then they will be imprisoned in a circle that definitely will abuse them or you are forced to hide with them and run away from home.

IS QUARANTINE DRIVE YOU INSANE? ARE YOU BORED? WANNA GO OUT WITH FRIENDS? WANNA GRAB A MEAL IN A RESTAURANT? OR GET A HAIRCUT?

Remember De’Launcet fucking quote:

“You don’t understand. I’ve been in the Circle since I was six. Six! For Twenty years I was locked up. Never had a real drink, or... cooked something for myself. Never stood in the rain... or kissed a girl.”.

You cannot treat people like that! You can’t! it’s not right to imprison and enslaved people, mages, like that, there’s no justification to deny basic human rights/rights for any races. Imagine how desperate, depressed, touch-starved and horny you are, if you are not allowed to touch a woman who consented to have sex with you, imagine beingfucking locked up for twenty years and never feel the rain on your face.

Maybe you should try being locked up for most of YOUR LIFE, for shit you never did in your life ever, aka committed horrible crimes that you never committed in the first place?

Where’s the logic? Where’s the humanity? Andrastianism and The chantry is the worst religion and the worst religious institution in Thedas, and templars are not champion of the just, they are champion of abusers.

But besides because of religious zealotry and dogma, why did the chantry locked up and enslaved mages in circle and put templar in circle to fucking abused them? OH RIGHT! I KNOW! its for power and profits, because using slave labor to make enchantments and used mages as soldiers who never wanted to be dragged into war in the first place, it was and as prison/free labor to mass products enchantments is profitable for the chantry. !GROSS! DISGUSTING! Disgusting really. The circle system is not only a prison camp, but also an institutional slavery.

GROSS! DISGUSTING! But it sounds like any oppressive nations/institutions ever that used prison camp free labor to built factories and to work in their factories right?

Disgusting really.

Hey, LOOK AT HERO OF FERELDEN AND INQUSITOR EXPERIENCES IN THE CIRCLE! WHOA, IT WAS AWFUL!

For Mage!Trevelyan:

Born to the Trevelyan noble family of Ostwick in the Free Marches, you were originally intended for a life of privilege—until magical abilities surfaced at a young age and you were forced into a life of confinement within Ostwick's Circle of Magi. Protected but stifled, educated but isolated, the Circle would have been your entire future had the mages not rebelled against Chantry rule.

Trevelyan said that templars are a piece of shit who has two fucking faces (he said it to Josie) they smiled at mages (fake) but then they turned into as still as tone when a mage was punished ‘harshly”

Remember what Cassandra said when mages find out that Tranquility can be reversed, dipshit fucking seeker, lord seeker lucius punished mages ‘harshly’ and there were deaths, and by definition of harsh for mages in thedas is:

Rape

Isolation in an isolation cell (like what happened to Anders for a year!)

Starved to death like what happened to the real Cole

Tranquility or they are just killed.

Every mages, adult or child, has seen or experiences abuses daily in their life, you can imagine the physical and physiologicalphysicological damages that templar and chantry have inflicted on them. As a person who was fucking abused by her own father, Ii know too well how lasting scars could damage you for life.

TO ANYONE WHO DISMISSED ABUSES ESPECIALLY ABUSE THAT WAS PERPETRATED BY A RELIGIOUS SYSTEM/INSTITUTION, here take my middle finger AND SHOVE IT UP TO YOUR ASSES!

Look Hero Of Ferelden life when she was still stuck in the circle:

The Hero of Ferelden belonged to the Circle of Magi in Ferelden, and resided in the tower at Lake Calenhad for most of her life. First Enchanter Irving recommended the Hero to Grey Warden Commander Duncan; shortly after the Hero's Harrowing, Duncan recruited her into the order.

https://mllemaenad.tumblr.com/search/mage+warden+

https://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/190968276307/mage-child-are-the-templars-coming-for-us-mage

Mage child: Are the templars coming for us?

Mage child: Is death painful? Am I going to die?

HEY WANNA TAKE A LOOK AT SER ALRIK? THE SERIAL ABUSER AND RAPIST?

This is a letter that Alrik send to justinia before he died.To Her Excellency, Divine Justinia,I am well aware both you and Knight-Commander Meredith have rejected my proposal, but I beg you to reconsider. The mages in the Free Marches are past controlling, their numbers have doubled in three years, and they have found a way to plant their abominations in our ranks. They cannot be contained!

The Tranquil Solution is our answer. All mages at the age of majority must be made Tranquil. They'll coexist peacefully, retain their usefulness—a perfect strategy! It's simply the best way to ensure mages obey the laws of men and Maker.I remain, as always, your obedient servant,

Tranquil solution? Sounds like what Henrich Himmler said about Jews!

Because Tranquility is a genocidal weapon that the chantry used to decreased the mages population and culling them, hmmm you heard about an 11 YEARS OLD GIRL WHO was MADE A FUCKING TRANQUIL IN KIRKWAL?

Here I will give you a link to dalishious post about a young mage, 11 years old kid who was made tranquil by templar and chantry: https://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/620951635453149184/im-confused-it-says-that-she-requested-to-be|

ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING *spit on chantry and templar*

There’s no fucking justification for turning a kid into a tranquil, neither raped woman who was made tranquil or mages in general just because they have magic. Alrik and his man are known for abusing and raped tranquil on a daily occasion, and they were granted a title, position, money, and job by the chantry, meredith is a bitch who treated mages like a slave, she was drunk on red lyrium, she didn’t do shit for refugee and she fucking took over Kirkwall seat of government, forcefully, while it was not her job to lording over Kirkwall like a power-hungry bitch.

And for years no one checked on this bitch, because miss little grand cleric of Kirkwall is part of Meredith group, and no matter what unless the chantry got fucking destroyed or HEAVILY REFORMED like what Divine Leliana did, people like Meredith and

Ser Alrik will never be held accountable by the chantry or any rulers in Southern Thedas (except by King Alistair who gave rebel mages a safe refugee place I guess) because most shit heads who ruled in Thedas profited from oppression and slavery of their PEOPLE, OF MAGES AND ELVES.

You are a modern man, how could you ever side with the medieval church like the chantry? YOU KNOW THAT MEDIEVAL VATICAN AND TEMPLAR OF OUR WORLD WERE AWFUL RIGHT?

You knew that the vatican/church in the medieval era trapped people in dark ages with their regressive politic and dogma, you knew that gay people and woman were burned alive just because they were gay and just because they are? Woman? Maybe some of them truly practiced magic, but hey magic is cool.

I don’t understand at all, this fucking hatred and bigotry against mages and elves that spewed by some people in the fandom, anyone who hates mages and elves inherently hates them for who they are, for simply who they are.

My burning hatred for templar and chantry were caused by templar and chantry terrible actions for the past 10000 YEARS!!!!!!!! And not because they don't have magic or just because they are human.

The chantry brainwashed human to dehumanize others

I think this is one of the most disturbing crime the chantry ever committed for the past 1000 years, I can’t even help but shudder in disgust every time i heard chantry sisters or brother calling other people ‘abomination’ or ‘heretic’ because i know how dangerous religious zealotry can be.

As a Muslim who live in Indonesia i have seen people being thrown out of their house or whipped in public (In Aceh province)

2.NOW MAGES ALLIED BY THE THE INQUISITOR AND THE INQUISITION IS THE CANON PATH!

(deal with it honestly)

First of all, when The inquisitor went to Val Royeaux, the inquisition met with Lord Seeker who was arguing with chantry sister, he didn’t want to listen to her, and then he punched her (bitch fucking deserve it, to be honest, chantry members except anyone whose not bigoted like Leliana and Giselle deserve to be punched) he insulted the inquisition and the inquisitor! ( what a Bastard Dick! Well, templar order is gone and he’s going to die anyway so....Whatever)

When the Inquisitor went back to the way he came from (from Val Royeaux gate)

FIONA LEADER OF FREE MAGES HERSELF, DESPITE THE RISK AND DANGERS, WAS WILLING TO PERSONALLY GAVE AN OFFER OF ALLIANCES BETWEEN REBEL/FREE MAGES WITH THE INQUSITION.

FIONA GOES ALL THE WAY, FROM SAFETY OF REDCLIFF VILLAGE TO VAL ROYEAUX JUST SO SHE CAN meet WITH THE INQUISITOR AND OFFERED HIM AN ALLIANCES WITH OTHER REBEL MAGES (Of course The inquisitor accepted it, he’s a rebel mage after all duh!)

From the very beginning you can see which path is the preferred freaking option, Its In Hushed Whispers and not the other one.

Besides it would make more sense for the sake of continuity to find out about the rift, time magic, who’s the mastermind behind what happened in Redcliff Village (Alexius tricked Fiona and other mages with time magic and blood magic to signed up with Tevinter) AND HOW FUTURE WITH CORYPHEUS WON LOOKS LIKE, rather than I don’t know.....Whatever bullshit in Therinfal Redoubt.

SECOND. Free alliances with rebel mages definitely would give The inquisition more advantages, first mages knew how to deal with magic and the fade, mages are more suited and powerful to fight against enemies that cannot be defeated by shield and swords.

THIRD.

THERE WERE NO ACCIDENT, NO UNWANTED POSSESSION OR EVEN NO POSSESSION AT ALL, NO DISASTER, AND NO ‘ABOMINATION’ .

FOURTH. THE MAGES CONSUMED fewer RESOURCES BECAUSE THEY DONT NEED LYRIUM TO FEED THEIR ADDICTION/CAST SPELLS.

FIFTH.

FOR A WHOLE YEAR DURING CAMPAIGN AGAINST CORYPHEUS, MAGES HAS PROVEN THAT THEY CAN TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES, MAGES WERE DISCIPLINED, RELIABLE AND BOTH THEDAS, INQUISITION, PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN SKYHOLD AND MAGES THEMSELVES ARE FINE WITH THE MAGES BEING FREE, WITHOUT RELIGIOUS SLAVERS WHO OWN THEM, WITHOUT JAILER WATCHING THEIR BACK.

SIX. SPIRITS AND DEMONS were LITERALLY EVERYWHERE, AND EXCUSE ME, HAVE FRANCOIS EVER RECEIVED/READ REPORTS ABOUT HIS FELLOW MAGES FALL INTO DEMON POSSESSION? HELL NO! NOT EVEN ONCE

SEVEN.

MAGES ALLIED AS FULL ALLY WOULD BE MORE INDEPENDENT, AND THEY COULD TEACHED YOUNG MAGES HOW TO SURVIVE ON THEIR OWN, THEY COULD BE MORE INVOLVED WITH SOCIETY, AND MAGES ASSIMILATED TO SOCIETY

AND FINALLY.

DO YOU want A ANOTHER FUCKING PROOF OF MAGES FREEDOM BEING SUCCESSFUL? DO YOU WANT LITERAL CANON PROOF THAT MAGES BEING FREE IS ONE OF THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED IN THEDAS?

The Inquisition's mages – the former rebels led by Grand Enchanter Fiona – are left with a choice.

Alliance

Leliana is Divine

When Leliana disbands the Circles, they leave the Inquisition and reform the College of Enchanters as a new order. The College, they say, will allow mages of the South to gather in peace and seek new solutions to age-old problems. For the moment, it appears to be working – mages are enjoying unprecedented acceptance throughout Thedas.

Epilogue for mages freedom in Trespasser:

NOW College of Enchanters, Thedas third or fourth most powerful mage order and government (third if Rivain mages flocked to The College but I think Rivain mages after all mages has been freed (remember its canon) they will unite with Rivain government or if College Of Enchanters turned out to be stronger than mages order in rivain ) , the college is third/fourth-strongest order after Tevinter obviously, Nevarra death mages, and Rivain mages.

And everything is totally fine.

Leliana Divine, Mages recruited as allies

The end of the Inquisition as it had been sent shock waves through the College of Enchanters. Madam de Fer ably played on the mages' fear. Her followers united to build a new Circle - with Vivienne as its Grand Enchanter - in direct competition with the College. What the Circle lacked in numbers, they made up for in political connections; soon they were a force to be reckoned with.

Well about this stuff in trespasser it’s just vivienne stuff I guess *shrug*

College of enchanters will always exist because like I said before so many many many times, that ever since Hero of Ferelden Era, To Kirkwall and then to Dragon 4:41/ 4:44, the canon and preferred path is to support mages and elves equality and freedom!!!!

THERE I GIVE YOU ONE, AND IT WAS MORRIGAN WHO SAID IT HERSELF.

Even a chantry sister from haven admitted that the mages looked happier and she said that she supports/give them chance to

SO WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?! CIRCLE IS NEVER BEEN FUCKING NEEDED! IT WAS JUST DRAKON STUPID BIGOTED MOVES TO ENSLAVED AND COLLARED MAGES AND ELVES.

Rivain mages were fine, and their society worked well with mages have their freedom Rivain trained their female mages to be seers, and seers hold important positions within Rivain government and society, oh but what happened? When the chantry fucking find out that Rivain didn’t treat their mages like shits and slave, that Rivain treated mages with respect like any other people.

The chantry fucking send right on annulment and committed genocide against Rivain fucking mages, chantry you shit organization, Rivain will hate you more than before and I wouldn’t be surprised if the grand cathedral in Rivain will go boom too (i will support it, fuck those people) the chantry literally murdered children there and committed genocide against people of Rivain, No one will defend them in Rivain, no one.

Codex Entry:

When we heard of the injustices against our fellow mages at the White Spire, the Circle of Magi in Val Royeaux, I feared what was to come. Our Circle at Dairsmuid is small and isolated; it exists largely as a façade to appease the Chantry.

When the other Circles rose up, the Chantry sent Seekers across the bay from Ayesleigh to investigate. They found us mixing freely with our families, training female mages in the traditions of the seers, and denounced us as apostates. Perhaps they thought we were spineless robes who could be intimidated with a little bloodshed. Before I was first enchanter, I was the daughter of Captain Revaud, of the Felicisima Armada. I know how to plan a battle.They brought with them a small army of templars. We fought. And we might have won. But they invoked the Right of Annulment, with all the unrelenting brutality that allowed.

It is their right to put screaming apprentices to the sword, burn our "tainted" libraries, crush irreplaceable artifacts under their heels, tear down the very walls of our home.

No mage has the right to disagree. We of the Dairsmuid Circle wait now, behind barricades. I have sent word to our brother and sister mages of this outrage. When they breakthrough, we will not die alone.—Final journal entry of First Enchanter R

Whoaa look at the chantry and templar, casually committed genocide because they are ass hole who cannot accept that they are wrong, maybe they should accept those different nations have different cultures and traditions? Hmmm, maybe templar and chantry should accept that people are not a mother fucking weapon and slaves to be used and imprisoned since they discovered their magic, chantry and Templar should learn when to stop, and they should learn that they didn’t know shit and doesn’t want to know shits about spirits? self-righteous much?

Circle system, templar system, and chantry system cannot be saved because it’s just awful, those systems systematically oppressed and abused people, and we all know that time and time again YOU CANNOT KEEP PEOPLE OPPRESSED AND ENSLAVED FOREVER, THEY WILL REBEL AND SOONER OR LATER THEY WILL WIN THEIR FREEDOM AND THE OLD SYSTEM WILL BE BURNED TO DUST.

No matter how you tried change the circle/templar system, it will always be prone to corruption, because the system put templar above mages, and when someone have more legal immunity and power above other people, then abuses of authority will always happen, hey....LOOK AT COPS IN OUR WORLD.

if anyone tries to prevent other people from being equal and free just like any outer people there who have privileges and advantages, holy shit you are horrible, that’s a shitty bigoted view.

BEFORE INQUISITION WAS EVEN REBUILT, MYTHAL AND MORRIGAN PREDICTED THAT THERE WILL BE GREAT CHANGES COMING, MORRIGAN PREDICTED THERE WILL BE A HERALD OF CHANGES IN THEDAS.

They were talking about The Inquisitor who will completely turn Thedas upside down and changed systems that Thedas know it with better ones.

SO why even bother to fucking keep an old system that doesn’t work and very oppressive and it was designed to imprison and enslaved people?

okay, listen here you little templar- oh I mean Ex-Templar, because templar order of the south is just gone forever ( who the hell wanted to be a templar again after people knew how dangerous lyrium could be? Especially after they saw lumbering red templar ABOMINATION, *not sorry they are really ugly bastard* Wrecking havoc all across Thedas

3.MAGE FREEDOM AND DESTRUCTION OF TEMPLAR ORDER IS A GOOD THING FOR EVERYONE AND FOR THEDAS!

Let me explain it to ya!

1. Mages won their freedom means, no more tranquil, there would be no more long-suffering half walking, half living person who’s cursed in the emotionless body (well at least in the south)

2. Mages could finally raise their own children, have family, married without fear and they don't have to run away from templar and chantry if they want to marry someone, mages children who were taken forcefully from their parents could finally meet their parents again, you don't want kids who were kidnapped from their family since a young age to be reunited with a family who loves them and misses them so much? Holy shit that’s monstrous.

3. Mage Orphan who has no relatives/family/home/ or friends to return could stay with College of Enchanters with other mages.

4. No more children will be kidnapped from the parents, no more mother who will lose their mage baby again because the templar and chantry ripped their baby away from their arms, never again.

5. New Generations of Mages kids who never have to endure torture and abuses in the circle, they can grow up in a safe and happy environment with their family or with the college.

6. Mages actively participated in society, and they can invent a great many things for Thedas modernization and advancement, remember Zither? He’s a mage and he uses his magic to play in a band, imagine the possibilities of Thedas technology-magic advancement with unrestrained magic, boi based on the newest leak, it seems like Arlathan was a magical cyberpunk empire.

7. As a free citizen, many mages abilities/ skill can be implemented for different kinds of jobs, hey remember Lysas who wanted to be a mage farmer? Agriculture in Thedas could be improved with magic, Medication, and medical studies could be greatly modernized with magic, not to mention fashion, opera/plays, and music, hell even professional chef jobs will be much easier with magic, The inquisitor used telekinesis/spell to fixes broken bridges, and lit a veil fire are another example that magic could be used for mundane stuff and not just for

8. College of Enchanters definitely would be a steadfast ally for The Inquisition and The inquisitor, and not to mention that the Inquisition new operations area would be in the north/Tevinter, mages would be able to help greatly. 9. With templar order gone forever in southern Thedas, then there will be no more people who are force feed lyrium and suffer from lyrium addiction to the point they become a beggar because they wasted all of their coins for lyrium. 10. So mages now are free, no more circle, then what’s the point of templar or seeker anymore? Actually Seeker, circle and templar are never needed, then how southern Thedas should handle with magic related crime or just crime in general, well I’ts easy, you see mages guard in Tamriel world? You know those guards in Skyrim? Or guard/law enforcer in Warcraft world who use magic? With mages free they also can work as guards

Why templar and chantry bootlicker literally believed in The chantry fearmongering false propaganda about mages and magic? It’s like medieval Vatican bullshit! fearmongering about technology and ‘sin’, fearmongering about spirit and magic?

We live in the modern era! So stop believing chantry propaganda!

Stop living as if its the 10th centuries, don’t keep clinging on the awful terrible system and it’s past, dude, see the future in front of you, and try to be positive about progressive changes. You know what happened to a world who refused to change? Yeah man look at Anor Londo, everything rot there. And have we ever heard about terrible accident that was caused by mages from College of Enchanters? Or by any mages at all? NO ONE EVER CONFIRMED THAT FREE MAGES OF THE SOUTH WRECKED HAVOC ALL ACROSS THEDAS, BECAUSE THE FREE MAGES DIDN’T DO ANYTHING AT ALL. AND THE MAGES HAS BEEN FREE FOR TWO YEARS! COLLEGE OF ENCHANTERS HAS BEEN OPERATING FOR TWO YEARS WITHOUT ANYONE ENSLAVED AND JAILED THEM Hey man, i gave you straight fact that mages being free is the best choice to support, and facts that nothing bad happened with mages being free, so your theory and your fear (that actually is just wrong, and it’s sounds kinda like paranoia to be honest Persecution is really stupid, that’s why it’s called persecution in the first place. HA!

ANDERS WAS, RIGHT!

‘Terrorist’ is a term that can be overused and utilized by people in power to demean and demonized freedom fighter/Resistance movement against tyranny.

https://mllemaenad.tumblr.com/search/is+anders+terrorist%3F

There’s fuck tons examples of people who were falsely accused as terrorists by tyrannical power to labeled them as a danger and to demonize them, while ‘the terrorist’ who fight for equality and freedom were demanding their people to be treated like a human, and they wanted equal rights.

examples:

[ I am an Indonesian btw, so I knew personally some stuff about dictator and dictatorship government]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgwS_FMZ3nQ&ab_channel=PhilosophyTube

https://www.britannica.com/event/resistance-European-history

https://www.thejakartapost.com/academia/2020/09/07/long-road-to-see-justice-over-munirs-murder.html

As an Indonesian woman, our people were oppressed by many European nations, from Dutch To British to French and Portuguese, our nations were stripped and reduced to mere colonies of European powers, our people were enslaved in their own lands, woman raped and children murdered, then after Dutch leave, because Hitler almost sunk their nation during WWII, Japan fucking invaded our land and then enslaved us again!

Japan lost the world war alongside with its axis allies, YAAY! We are free, but wait, the Dutch Empire was such a baby they wanted their ‘toys’ , they fucking demanded the allies to helped them invaded Indonesia again because in the eye of Dutch Empire we are nothing but their slaves to be milked dry and taken advantages of, but we fought back! And now all Indonesian people from children to the elderly are free!

Did Indonesian people won their freedom and built their nation with being subservient and asked nicely?

FUCK NO, blood was spilled and heads were cut, a lot of head, but at least now generations upon generations of Indonesian people will never taste the brutality of slavery and how does it feel to be enslaved. Our first president was considered as a menace and a terrorist by Dutch Royalty, he was imprisoned in isolation but managed to escape over and over again!

But wait, if any person who rebelled against the government regardless of their intentions can be labeled as a terrorist *gasp* IS THAT MEAN GEORGE FUCKING WASHINGTON WAS A TERRORIST?! Apparently, by British Empire standards, he was.

The guy and his friends waged a war against the crown, because British Empire keep treated American colony like shit, from the perspective of King George, Washington was a piece of shit who kept ruined his country and his colonies, but boi Americans would be angry if someone called Washington a terrorist right? Because for them, Washington's struggle and rebellion were righteous.

YOU CAN’T SIMPLY USE THE LABEL OF ‘TERRORIST’ TO CONDEMN ANDERS AND HIS ACTIONS WITHOUT EVEN UNDERSTAND HIS MOTIVE.

Because if you keep doing then, in your perspective every single freedom fighter who rebelled against cruelty and tyranny should be condemned?

We are talking about what is a ‘terrorist’ here, and if you want to label someone as a terrorist then you have to read their manifesto, understand their motive, try to hear what they wanted to say, and understand the core of ideas behind their rebellion.

Here’s the thing, will you call the Stonewall riot as an act of terrorism? ( i presume from your blog description you are a supporter of LGBT right? )

What about Joachim Ronnenberg? A man who leads a daring raid against Nazi Germany nuclear weapon factory had the german succeded in their efforts, we might have read devastating histories about the nuclear bomb that destroyed London like what happened to Nagasaki and Hiroshima.

From the perspective of Nazi Germany...This guy wasis a terrorist and an enemy!

But it feels so wrong to describe freedom fighter as a terrorist right? How could we label people who resist nazi Germany as a terrorist?!

Because we know, despite the casualties, despite everything that happened, what they did was right, and they needed to fight back.

Allies marched to Berlin was the right thing to do, American colonies rebelled despite they knew that a lot of people will die in war, but have you ever condemned the founding father and his people for their rebellion? Or argued that it wasn’t necessary for them to rebelled. Soekarno wars and rebellion against dutch colonists and invaders cannot be condemned, because objectively, no one should support slavery and colonization of other nations.

French people were so sick and tired of their nobilities and royalties bullshit to the point they cut off their own monarch head, but they were right, because French Monarchy was corrupt and incompetent, while nobles and royalties were feasting and drinking as if there’s no tomorrow, poor people in French can’t even afford bread.

Trans and Gay people who fight back and demonstrated against injustice was right, the woman who demonstrated and rioted against the oppressive system and patriarchy was right.

WE KNEW DEEP DOWN THEIR CAUSE ARE NOT EVIL, OR CONDEMNABLE, THEIR CAUSES ARE OBJECTIVELY RIGHT!

But what if it were someone like Adolf Hitler who hmmm rebelled against the Weimar Republic, back before his raises to power around 1920-1923, I’m sure that you are familiar with his Beer Hall Putsch, when he held 14 mass meetings in Germany, for the nazi it was a historical moment, ‘a glorious resistance against the weak and incompetent Weimar Republic’

For his supporter it was glorious, but despite their best efforts to convinced themselves that they were right, WE KNEW HE WAS NOT RIGHT, Nazi was god awful.

What is the core idea of nazism? (I'm going to compare it with socialism/communism because some people keep saying that communism is just like nazi, and it's absolutely wrong)

https://www.britannica.com/topic/communism/Marxian-communism

https://www.britannica.com/event/Nazism

They are very different. Ya see despite some people who keep yelling that communist is just nazism by any other name. ( and I’m not a communist)

Adolf Hitler might see himself as a savior, a martyr, and his party also people who supported him

richard spencer, see himself as a ‘liberator’ and voice of white people, but behind all of his fucking bullshit, his core ideas are just Naziism, he is a nazi, Richard Spencer is a white supremacist so does any other alt-right edge lord on the internet who insisted that they are not nazi, despite the fact they fucking followed nazi ideologies and practiced hatred ( btw nazi ideology is based on white supremacist and eugenic ideologies too, so what’s the difference really?” Nazi is white supremacists and white supremacists will always be a nazi)

Alright and how all of it ties back to Anders and mage rebellion, you might ask, ‘why did you write about histories lessons that I already knew about?’

Well templar child, it’s all lead back

TO THE CORE OF ANDERS IDEAS AND MANIFESTO AND WHY HIS IDEOLOGIES/BELIEVES AND MAGES REBELLION WAS ON THE FREAKING RIGHT SIDE.

I wrote that fucking long-ass paragraphs so people will be able to differentiate the righteous kind of rebellion (or ‘terrorism’ from the perspective of the power/oppressors) and the god-awful kind of rebellion/terrorism.

Because instead of listening and learning about what anders wanted, some people are often so fixated on the semantic of the word ‘terrorist’ and got too distracted by that stupid chantry explosion. THE CHANTRY EXPLODED IS THE SAME KIND OF THING IF HITLER OR STALIN’S OFFICE too

People died? Yeah so does people who died during USA war against British Empire, was it terrible that people died? Yeah it was terrible but just like what i wrote before, the rebellion had to happened. And you said that he killed hundreds? Huh the numbers was never 100% confirmed because i don't think Isabela count the bodies, and second we cannot be sure about numbers of the casualties, because we never really see ALL them in the first place. And actually arent Hero of Ferelden, Hawke and Inquisitor killed SO MANY PEOPLE? What about The Dragonborn? No to mention that in their journey they also destroyed private and public property and killed so many god damn animals to the point they could have been the reason why some species of animals are endangered. And no one ever protest or raised a fuss when heroes killed tons of people. Arent templar and chantry also killed and tortured so many people? What about mages who were killed or made tranquil for the past 1000 years? What about mages who committedcommited suicide like Orsino friend who locked herself in a closet then set herself on fire? Because she no longer can’t stand living in Kirkwall Circle prison? What about Anders friends who often committedcommited suicide because what templar did to them and that lead to severe depression? What about mages and elves who were hunted down and killed just because they escaped from their circle prison, they were killed by order of the chnatry and templar cut them down with their sword? What about Elves of Dales who died because Orlais wanted to expand its fucking territoryterrtotry and justified their racial superiority? Chantry and templar supported that. What about Karl who asked Anders to killed him because he preferred to die rather than be a tranquil again? Or captured by templar again? TEMPLAR AND CHANTRY COMMITED MORE CRIMES FOR THE PAST 1000 YEARS MORE THAN ANY PERSON DID, THE TEMPLAR AND CHANTRY MURDERED, ENLSAVED, TORTURED AND IMPRISON PEOPLE ALSO SUPPORTED GENOCIDE FOR 1000 YEARS! IF WE CALCULATED NUMBERS OF PEOPLE WHO DIED BY THE CHANTRY ORDER AND TEMPLAR SWORDS, IT’S MORE THAN FREAKING MILLIONS! ANDERS DID WHAT HE DID TO FREE THE MAGES AND FUTURE MAGES CHILDREN, SAME THING WITH FIONA AND THE MAGES WHO REBELLED TO FREE THEMSELVES AND FOR THE FUTURE OF MAGES, THEY ALSO REBELLED FOR FUTURE MAGES FREEDOM, THEY REBELLED FOR THE FREEDOM OF PEOPLE (because unlike what noodle and chantry said and spread, mages are PEOPLE!) so what are you saying again? HUH ? what is your justification? What is your defense? CHANTRY AND TEMPLAR CRIMES CANNOT BE DEFENDED! If you justified Templar and chantry crimes then THE EVANURIS AND TEVINTER and the stupid qun ideals can be justified too? From OBJECTIVE perspective Anders ideology WAS RIGHT! HE AND THE MAGES BELONG WITH THE RIGHTEOUS REBELS. Let’s compare chantry/templar mentality and moral vs mages and elves believes and pursuit of freedom.

Let’s see examples of chantry/templar mentality based on evidence and popular opinion in Thedas that was forced by The chantry to people head.

1. The interpretation of chant of light that mages and nonhuman are abhorred by the maker, and they are ‘evil’ and corrupt’ i must remind you that MODERN and RELEVANT andrastianism in modern Thedas, has twisted whatever Andraste said and they strayed so far away from what andraste possibly could have wanted.

What if Maferath Betrayal was not based on maliciousness? Or not just based on maliciousness? What if Andraste was truly a mage? The chantry lied about Shartan, the chantry fucking lied about Ameridan, if there’s one IRONIC TRUTH about the chantry, they lied, they twisted story and histories for their political power and their gains.

the whole ‘magic must serve man and not rule over him’ was purposely misinterpreted to fucking justify drakon fucking fanfic holy book, and his campaign to conquer the rest of Thedas. And the chant verses were twisted as a stupid and terrible justification to demonize and enslaved mages and elves in circle towers.

In a nutshell that chant actually said that magic is a gift that should not be used for terrible deeds. But andrastian changed the meaning and twisted their own prophet words to enslave and oppressed southern mages.

2. The chantry believes about Everything that related to the fade/spirits/ or demon are dangerous and inherently evil, I ALWAYS LAUGHED MY ASS OFF, whenever templar/chantry/andrastian/non mages spouting hateful shits about the fade and spirits, it’s incredibly ironic, because there’s an implication that ALL PEOPLE who were not made by Titans (dwarves was made by titan) were spirits from the fade who ‘created body from the earth’ after they descended to the material world.

The evanuris, first of elven people, Solas and his people were spirits, it can be safely assumed that modern elves, humans and qunari in their truest form are spirits as well.

I think during his personal quest, All New Faded forFor Her, Aka The Dreadwolf Fen’harel, Solas has explained the truth about what human, elves and qunari truly are and what is their true form would be once they are died ( if they are not a remarkable person then they will simply be lost to the fade )

Besides it’s the chantry who spread hateful and ignorant propaganda about evil of spirits/demons, the fact that chantry spread such misinformed propaganda and derailed hates of the fade and spirit into people mind actually is one of the reasons why demons and unwilling possession as modern thedas know it exists, I know Cole explained that spirit who crossed from the fade to the world was simply traumatized by their journey, the veil hurt them ( we can blame Solas for that) rules in the material world is just confusing, the earth and it’s mostly inflexible and unchanging rules confused them.

But if The fade can be bend and shaped by powerful dreamer/mages/ dreams and believes of people. That means...Demons were also created by The chantry ignorant and hateful propaganda. If many people believed that spirits are dangerous or ‘they are demon’, that spirits and the fade are scary then that’s how they will manifest.

The fade and spirit can be influenced by people's collective beliefs and perceptions. That’s mean it also The chantry and their dogmatic backward propaganda that made spirit/demon as we know it today, I mean for some reason Cole called himself a ‘demon’? While the boy was never corrupted nor twisted from his true nature, i think it’s because people perception of him and spirit. The chantry dogmatic believes backfired on their own face. rule about

3. Blind devotion to Orlais Chantry, theThe chantry foundation was made of bones upon bones and blood, emperor kordilius drakon butchered many cults and stamped out any non-andrastian religion or branch of andrastianism that didn’t conform to his cult believes so he can establish his cult of andraste as the dominant religious power in southern thedas or thedas in general.

The Daughters of Song

Wine. Music. Poetry. And the wanton and frenzied indulgence of carnal fancies. These things characterized the hedonistic cult known as the Daughters of Song. Calling them an order of the faithful lends them a legitimacy they do not deserve. The daughters (and sons, though they saw themselves also as "daughters") celebrated Andraste's holy union with the Maker in almost every way imaginable. And it was only the "holy union" they venerated. Andraste's life, her war, her teachings, and her sacrifice were blithely ignored.

At its height, the Daughters of Song numbered in the thousands. They maintained a stronghold in a village called Virelay, in the Fields of Ghislain. Virelay saw a yearly event during which the Daughters of Song paraded carven images of the "Maker's Glory" through the square.The Daughters of Song were wiped out by the righteous forces of Emperor Drakon during his campaigns to unite all of Orlais. When the emperor's forces sacked the village, the Daughters would not arm themselves and were either killed or captured. The village was destroyed, and the cult never recovered.—From Before Andrastianism: the Forgotten Faiths by Sister Rondwyn of Tantervale

HA! Blithely ignored her fucking war and ‘sacrifice’ is much better than using the story of andraste life as propaganda and tools to conquer, murder, enslaved, and wiped out groups of people who didn’t buy to your shit.

The daughter of the songs was not a cult of a sex-crazed hedonist, they were another group of pacifist andraste cult who didn’t do anything wrong at all (seems like they were peaceful, they didn’t even willing to armed themselves when Drakon butchered their people) and they just wanted to be left alone to their own device, but of course Drakon, that egotistical bastard who sees himself as a martyr and narcissistic self-proclaimed holy man, so he put any people who didn’t want to listen to his bullshit to sword.

The chantry and Orlais using their god, their prophet words, and their religion as a bludgeoning tool to conquer and forcefully converted people, the foundation of modern andrastianism religion was based drakon totalier philosophy his ambitions to rule all of Thedas.

Ironically if there are people who smeared and desecrate andraste and the maker, its their followers.

This kind of religious militant mentality has ledlead to people justification of exalted march, because they thought that they were doing it for the maker, they believed that the march is the maker works, anyoneany one who supported exalted march were so convinced that they were right to spilled so many blood and butchered so many people for their religious zealotry (and political ambition of their rulers but eh peasant rarely know anything about what happened in winter palace right?)

if you supported exalted march of dales or exalted march against mages then.... As a Muslim i just want to say, what’re the differences between exalted march and Christian crusade? And we know that Crusade was a waste of resources and lives or ISIS ambition for expansionism?

Military and Religion is a dangerous and scary combination. And I can’t comprehend why any modern human could be so thirsty and horny to destroy other people's nations for their religion and their interpretation of their religion. and let me remind you again, the chantry and templar supported this mentality and often using the maker as a reason and justification of their terrible deeds. The chantry refusal to acknowledge and respect different kind of andrastian religion and their outright rejection of different religion lead them to wiped out pre-chantry andrastian cult aka their own brethren and destruction of The dales, destruction and deaths of so many dalish clan, prejudice and bigotry against qunari and dwarves. and we don’t have to talk about what happen to old god religion worshipper. Y’know sounds like dark age church and their obsessions to stamped out any kind of ‘heresy’ , you like that shit? You supported it? EWWWW. D: 4. Templar and Chantry brainwashed people to be hateful bigot, I don’t care about any kind of justification or ‘positive deeds’ that andrastianism has done, a thousandthousands years of proofs and facts has proven that most of the time they spreading bigotry and hate for their own political power and gains, the chantry instilled intolerance on people mind and using terror as a way to control population of Thedas, people except for the ruling class are live in uncertainty and fear, we might see peasant in thedas just living their simple life, but if the temple and chantry find out that they are doing anything ‘suspicious’ or they hide their relatives who can use magic then that’s it, their life will end by chantry order and Templar sword, not to mention that the chantry bigoted cheating also lead to these kind of situation, remember that mage who were murdered in the storm coast by villager? She died because the chantry brainwashed people to hates on anything non-human and to hate on mages. NOW THE MAGES, let’s take a look at the mages and elves. 1.The mages and elves just wanted to be free and to be treated as an equal in society, not as a walking weapon to be enslaved and imprisoned and not as a servant/slave to non-mage human (or in tevinter and the qun not as a slave in general for elves and mages too who suffer under the qun ) if anyone supporting an ideology or people who deny other people rights, BASIC RIGHTS, then all of you fucktard can rot in hell. 2. Fiona, despite the chantry and Templar oppressed and enslaved her people for must I remind you again 1000 year! Fiona Was still willing to let other fraternities and other circles to vote, whenever they wanted to follow her rebellion or not, AND THE SOUTHREN MAGES CHOSE TO REBELED AND FOLLOWING HER! 3. Now mages freedom is canon, the mages now have their own government and they rule over themselves( college of enchanters) and they never try to enslave, oppress, brutalize and hurt non mages 4. Now Briala rule in Orlais, she could help to keep: 1. Remember that mage who died in Gaspard on leash and preventing him from invading other nations, not to mention that she definetly

Oh, Solas where are thou ~

Now about Solas and the veil, we might speculate to our heart content about Solas plans and what he might do in the future, but to be honest, truth to be told, NO ONE EXACTLY KNOW what is his actual plan for the evanuris, for the blight, for titans and to tear m down the veil. We only have morsels of information about his plans from trespasser, and Tevinter night (also from the leaks). Who knew maybe Solas plan will ironically save the world? Doomed it? Saved some people? Only doomed half of the world? Will the world end? Or survive? Now i want all magic to come back but without have to kill millions of people in Thedas, Because it will solve non-mages vs mages problem, everybody will be mages and the centuries of problems will be solved, not to mention that with the minuscule amounts of magic Thedas physical world now have, people seemed to slowly devolving, being cut from magic of the fade is not only horrible for mages but also for non- mages (Because the fade is the sources of power and life itself, not to mention that Solas referred to it as ‘The sea of souls’ in Tevinter Nights) Here’s the thing, with or without Solas even waking up from his long sleep, i think The veil will be destroyed either way, here’s the evidences that supported my theories (But i still have no idea about What exactly will happen just like many other people out there ) Sandal Prophercy: “Sandal: One day the magic will come back. All of it. Everyone will be just like they were. The shadows will part, and the skies will open wide. When he rises, everyone will see.” Grand Duchess Florianne: “ A great CHANGE is coming for all of us lord seeker lucius: “ We created a decaying world, and fought to preserve it even as it crumbled, we had to be stopped” Kieran: “My mother is the inheritor of the next age” Mythal: WE HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT WHAT SOLAS PLAN IS, what is he going to do with other evanuris? What bout the titans? What about mythal? and ghilan’nain creatures that has been slowly emerge from the sea? What about the blight and darkspawn? I feel like Solas wouldn’t be the true next main villain, he wouldn’t be Corypheus 2.0, why? Because unlike the blight or Corypheus, Solas have important relationship with The inquisitor, while most any other fucking villain have little to no relationship with heroes. So here Solas quote from Tevinter Nights: His look pinned her “I have no choice.What I am doing will save this world, and those like you- the elves who are still remain-may find it better, when it is done.” Solas might call himself “Prideful, hot headed and foolish.” but he’s not a fucking idiot, he wouldn’t just tear down the veil just to bing elven glory back, there must be something bigger behind his motives, like the evanuris and well titans I don’t want to say much about the possible consequences of what might Solas do, because frankly we don’t know anything about it. It is possible tho that the veil destruction will be the same thing just like the fifth blight, mage and elves vs Templar and chantry/human war, Corypheus rises and fall and the fucking explosion of both Kirkwall chantry and temple of sacred ashes, it just going to happen, it is what fucking it is man. To quote Steve Jobs “One more thing” Patrick fucking Weekes and their wife supporting mage and mage rights MEANWHILE... if you could live anywhere in Thedas, where would you live? PATRICK: I would live in Rivain. Because Rivain is not as hung up on magic, because they have seers who let themselves get possessed... they also have a relatively peaceful relationship with the Qun. And they're kind of a melting pot and multicultural... they're a place where a lot of different cultures come together. And also? Beachfront property. KARIN: I was just gonna say... if you need further justification, they get to say, "I want to live on the beach."

Yeah, that was a really good one. Okay, moving on: Mages or Templars? PATRICK and KARIN (in unison): Mage

http://www.dumpeddrunkanddalish.com/2020/05/castles-fennecs-and-player-engagement.html http://www.dumpeddrunkanddalish.com/2020/04/chatting-with-weekeses-part-3-romances.html

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ichigo777666 · 4 years ago

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FE3H Characters Ranked

My opinions of all the main characters in FE3H ranked from worst to best in my opinion. These are MY opinions! Spoilers ahead, obviously.

*NOTES*

This does not include any of the DLC characters. This also does not include the following characters since they have limited dialog / appearances within the game: Gwendal, Pallardo, Duke Aegir, Anna, Lambert, Ionious, Metodey, Kostas, Holst, Macuil, and Indech. Any other characters who are only mentioned by name are also not included. And Byleth is also not on this list due to being the player’s character.

Everyone else included in this list has a few interactions or mentions in multiple ending paths so they’re fair game. Not having a lot of interactions is not going to affect placement that much so don’t be surprised if some major characters wind up low on the list…

*The PIT*

Aka the worst of the worst. The characters I would throw into the void.

#54 – Leonie

I absolutely hate this character so much. Her personality is so flat and grating that she drives me up a wall. Her character can be summed up in two words “loves Jeralt” – that’s it. Just about everything about Leonie revolves around impressing Jeralt or being like Jeralt or doing this because of Jeralt ect. I don’t care if she’s useful as a playable character – every time she opens her mouth I cringe. Her support which is only available after Jeralt dies in which she berates you for “not appreciating him enough” is just the epitomny of selfishness. Then PTS she basically turns herself into a second Jeralt, replicting his outfit as best she can and giving herself his title “the blade breaker” and adds a 2. Excuse you, but is ANYONE can call themseleves that it’s Byleth, aka Jeralt’s child, not YOU. But she doesn’t care and does it anyway...

#53 – Rodrigue

Oh boy this is going to be a very unpopular opinion but in terms of a character, Rodrigue is kind shit. Rodrigue earns this spot for being the shittiest living parent in the game. His eldest son Glenn dies and his comment on that is how “he died like a true knight”. His first emotional response is pride not remorse. He never mentions how much he loved him or how he misses him: just how proud he was of him… And this pisses off poor Felix. Felix whom gets left ALONE after this happens because Rodrigue decides he’s got to be Dimitri’s mentor / guardian. So he basically straight up abandons his grieving 13 year old son to be the new father figure of the prince. Dimitri was more important to him that his own child. We can all see what the impact of this was on Felix through the game. And then, in Azure Sky, when Rodrigue joins you as a “mentor” character, he lacks all balls. Dimitri is going crazy and acting like a psychopath and Rodrigue doesn’t even really try to do anything about that – he just stands aside and comments on how he’s “changed”. I mean FRICK MAN – your were his guardian, his mentor. TALK TO HIM! But NOOOOOOO! So yeah, Rodrigue sucks!

#52 – Lord Lonato

Speaking of shit parents, here’s another for you! Yes, Lonato was kind enough to allow Ashe and his siblings to live with him, which is the oddest decision ever considering this came about after Lonato caught Ashe sneaking into his castle to steal from him. “I’ll just adopt this thief child”. Despite that act of kindness, he also chose to not tell Ashe the truth about what happened to his son Christophe; that Christophe was not involve with the Duscar incident but rather had been a part of a plot to try and kill Rhea. Lonato could not bring himself to believe that his son was wrong or had done anything wrong. Despite the fact that his son had decided, for whatever reason, to try and kill someone, Lonato thought that this was okay. He then sacrificed himself for the sake of trying to avenge his true son instead of continuing to care for the children he’d taken in. He basically took Ashe & his siblings in, giving them security for the first time in years, then chooses to follow his only wrong beliefs and thus put Ashe & his siblings back into the world again. He gave them 7 years of security and this just went “oh well, you’re on your own again”.

#51 – Gilbert / Gustave

And rounding out the “shit parents” section of the list, we have the father that literally abandons his daughter and wife due to own depression. He’s totally alive and out there but just can’t bring himself to give a crap about either or write them any letters. Nope, he’s caught up in his head that he wasn’t there during the tragedy of Duscar, of how he “should have arrived sooner”. I mean, really? It is in now way his fault just because he’s a knight. He wasn’t supposed to be there and he’s got guilt that he wasn’t there? Seriously man?! And then when he finally does reunite with Annette all he does is push her away. Instead of letting Annette decide whatever she wants to be around him again, he chooses for her and denies her attempts to reconnect with him. Yeah, shit father…

*The Bottom of the Barrel*

These characters are bad. They’re not absolute utter garbage like the PIT characters, but they still are awful.

#50 – Dimitri

Yeah, I don’t like Dimitri. What is there to like about this guy? He was traumatized as a teenage when his dad was killed in-front of him and that changed him into a survival-guilt ridden bloodthirsty killer? Jeez, it honestly feels like someone tried to ft a whole bunch of tropes into one cohesive character and failed massively. The whole “brooding” phase in Azure Sky where he’s basically a tantrum throwing 5 year old only makes him worse. Also, I still don’t understand WHY he immediately jumped to the whole “Edelgard is the one who killed my parents” conclusion. The entire Duscar incident had nothing to do with Edelgard, unless Dimitri thinks a teenager with no power could do that. And, if he’s blaming the Empire, why does that extend to Edelgard who was just a princess at the time? I could see if something like the FE was present and that’s why he went crazy after Edelgard but I’m pretty sure the FE didn’t exist back then… so WTF? This is like “my parents were killed by a drunk driver. Hey you, unrelated person who just learned to drive this year, you are drunk therefore I HATE YOU – you killed my parents!” Really, no. NO.

#49 – Acheron

He has a minor role only but you fight him twice and you can get some background from Lorenz. He’s annoying and I guess he’s designed to be so. I don’t like him much. But he’s not as annoying as Dimitri.

#48 – Cyril

Oh Cyril. He’s such an annoying character. He’s a more toned down version of Leonie with his obsession with Rhea. He’s a bit of a jerk during his support conversations and he’s dismissive of his homeland. I think his supports with Seteth best show what Cyril’s all about: he’s devoting himself to repaying Rhea without thought for anything else, even his own future. He has no ambitions and no desires….how can a character be so bland?

#47 – Hannerman

And the obsessive one. ‘Obsession with Crests’ is just the only phrase you need to describe Hannerman. While I can understand why Hannerman as a character wants to research crests, the way he goes about it is just wrong. He hounds Lysithia w/o realizing why she’s avoiding his questions until she basically has to spell out WHY she’s uncomfortable with talking about it. He’s been hounding Seteth for 21 years about his crest and Flayn’s too. 21 fricking years of bothering someone and he can’t understand the answer “no”.

#46 – Arundel

Yeah, he’s a piece of shit but at least he’s interesting. He’s Edelgard’s uncle and yet he basically allowed her to be experimented on. Why? Who knows? He’s associated with TWSITD but why? Power? Conquest? He’s mysterious. His personality “suddenly changed” leaving the option open that he was replaced and the Arundel that exists now is a fake. He’s intriguing but he’s still a piece of crap.

#45 – Dedue

Oh Dedue. I feel like Dedue is stuck playing the “victim” card but without looking for sympathy. He’s from Duscar so everyone looks down on him...and Dedue just takes it. He doesn’t try to defend himself or say that just because he’s from Duscar doesn’t mean he’s evil. He does nothing to try and change anyone’s opinions – he’s content to just sit and take it. But then he talks about wanting to have the world move past the tragedy….so which is it Dedue? In order to have it change, you need to actually DO SOMETHING!!!!

#44 – Thales

The weakest character of the main three. The game tells you almost nothing about Thales...and then you go and read the wiki and find out he’s Arundel….yeah mind telling us that game?! So he’s higher than Arundel.

#43 – Nemesis

Another evil character with no personality or real background. Why did he start his rampage? Was he manipulated or just evil? Who knows….

#42 – Judith

Judith has such a small role unless you’re playing VW. And in VW she’s a bit of a bitch who treats Claude as a misbehaving child even after he proves himself again and again.

#41 – Nader

AKA the Alymrian general you meet briefly in VW and in CF. He’s in for less than a few minutes and he appears to be jolly/happy and has the rep of being an undefeated general. I guess he’s alright. But with no real role I can’t bring myself to feel anything for him

#40 – Annette

When I first played I was on the fence with Annette. I sorta liked her determination and her drive to reunite her family. But then her singing started...and oh boy do I hate her singing. So many of her supports center around that annoying singing! Just STOP already, please! Also WTF is that blue “tab” in her PTS redesign that’s right on her butt? It’s the only one...

#39 – Ferdinand

Ferdinand’s personality is just...annoying. From his meme’d battle line to his constant talk of “being a noble” he just grates my nerves. And why does he act like this? Because his father is not and he’s trying to not be like his father and be a “good person”….

*The Low-End*

These characters are “eh” characters. They’re aren’t too good or too bad...but they lean more towards bad than good.

#38 – Kronya / Monica

This was an interesting idea. I just wish she had been more involved or usable. Like if you’re playing BE house, she becomes a playable member. Something to endear her a bit more other than “this other random character you rescued who acts suspiciously”. Let’s face it, we all knew something was up with her. And then she’s killed off so easily and quickly...

#37 – Cornelia

Okay, she’s a bit interesting and a manipulator. They weren’t afraid to give her an “ugly face”. She’s a schemer and not afraid to flaunt her assets to give her an advantage.

#36 – Alois

Eh. Alois. Loves jokes, very loyal. I guess he’s alright but he’s not spectacular and some of the jokes and just so so so so so so bad.

#35 – Ashe

Ashe is another character that I think lacked development. I mean he just gained a slight bit of confidence and purpose but he’s not one for much change. His personality over all is a bit bland: he likes stories about knights and is worried about his siblings. Oh and he used to be a thief.

#34 – Jeritza

Bland because he’s meant to be bland. His other personality is typical “killer knight”. What saves Jeritza is his support conversations where you get background and you realize why he’s the way he is.

*The Middle Ground*

These characters are right in the middle. Not great but not awful.

#33 – Ladislava

In every ending except CF, you only get to see her once but in CF you can chat with her and learn more about her. She’s the head of Edelgard’s person guard and its heavily implied she had next to nothing before this appointment. She’s fully loyal to Edelgard, even willing to die for her cause.

#32 – Flame Emperor

I listed this character separate since FE is an enigma. I actually liked the design of the FE and the whole mystery surrounding them.

#31 – Manuela

I’m...ambivalent about Manuela. She’s a drunken whiner at time and other time she turns into something sweet and reliable. She’s so worried about her age but she’s NOT that old. It’s a bit trope-y though...to have an older character all concerned about her age.

#30 – Jeralt

Jeralt’s a good dad character albeit a flawed one too. It’s a shame they didn’t give him any support conversations to flesh him out more. As it is most of what we learn about Jeralt comes from others.

#29 – Sothis

I don’t hate Sothis like most. She’s a bit bratty, yes but look at from her way – she’s got no memories, no recollections, and has found herself somehow stuck with this person. She tries to help out Byleth best she can, even if it sometimes leads to near disaster.

#28 – Gatekeeper

A nice wholesome character who always wants to help out and be useful. He’s a nice guy but suffers from lack of characterization.

#27 – Mercedes

First off, I dislike the “breathy” quality of her voice. She’s a very nice girl and very kind...but that’s about all there is to Mercedes...

#26 – Raphael

Ah, the big guy who loves to eat. He’s overprotective but not too overprotective of his little sister. He’s strong, interested in his muscles, and in getting stronger but it’s because he’s shouldering the responsible of taking care of his sister. Still he’s a bit trope-y.

#25 – Lindhardt

Lindhardt make up your dang mind! He talks about wanting to study crests but when he’s offered by two separate people to do just that he complains about how he’s being “tied down”. Really? His laziness and sleepiness also gets tired after a while.

#24 – Ignatz

Ignatz is a character who shows a lot of growth and goes from having no confidence in what he wants to do to finding his path. However Ignatz remains a pushover who gives in to whatever anyone advises even when he knows its wrong. It takes a long, long, long time for Ignatz to learn to have any say in himself...which is why he’s down here.

#23 – Solon

The most developed of the three main TWSITD characters. I feel his reveal as Tomas was ruined by the poorly executed Monica / Kronya earlier. However he was unexpected. Who expects the librarian? It would have been better if they didn’t have him as “suspect” in the whole Flayn is missing part through.

#22 – Randolph

You only really get to know Randolph in CF although he’s got a minor part in AS where we see that he truly cares for his sister and how he feels he must do this, even if he risks dying. In CF, we get to learn more about Randolph. He’s actually a step-uncle to Caspar through his mother marrying into the family. He has no power or clout so everything he earns is done by action. It’s a shame they killed him off so early.

#21 – Caspar

Caspar is a good character in several ways. He’s not depressed about not being the heir to his house and is motivated to find his own way. He knows he’s flawed and in his supports he tries to change only to learn that he’s better off following his own path. It’s his boisterous yelling and charging headfirst into danger is what I don’t like about him.

*The High Side*

These are characters I like. They’re not the best but I like them and can understand them.

#20 – Hilda

Ah Hilda. Hilda’s one of those characters that surprise you. Hilda starts off being this lazy character who doesn’t want to battle and doesn’t want to do chores. Not because she can’t do them, but just because she’s lazy. You see her trying to get out of things in her supports only to either feel guilty or wind up helping someone learn something. But I think where Hilda shines is in VW where she acts as Claude’s “advisor” and some of Claude’s best plans come from suggestions from Hilda. By then she’s come into her own. I also enjoy Hilda’s C support with Seteth greatly where he just lists all the excuses she’s given flat out as Hilda gets more and more nervous.

#19 – Claude

Claude made it up here due to his unprediacbility. Some of his plots/schemes are downright hillarious. Claude is unashamed of who he is and where he comes from – he knows who he is and who he wants to become. And, in a game riddled with characters who struggle with that very issues, Claude’s a bit of a breath of fresh air.

#18 – Fleche

Ah Fleche. She’s a very minor character but she’s got such an impact on the story in AM – this is what path we’re going to discuss. We first meet Fleche when she’s talking with Randolph, her brother, right before Randolph heads out on a mission that will ultimately end with his death. Instead of doing the typical thing for a young girl which is to cry, Fleche goes ‘nah’ and decides to take revenge. She disguises herself as a “maiden” and goes to try and join the Kingdom Army; she’s allowed to by Dimitri. Fleche bides her time and waits until after a big battle and then straight up goes and tries to murder Dimitri. She actually stabs him once and barely fails in her task of killing him. Against Dimitri, one of the strongest characters... a little girl.. Yeah, Fleche is kinda badass.

#17 – Miklan

Okay, so here’s another good sympathetic villain character. Miklan was born with no crest so he was looked down upon by his family. He was the first child however so his family kept him...at least until his brother Sylvain was born with a crest. Then Milan became “garbage” and useless in the eyes of his family and thus was disinherited. He lashed out against his brother multiple times. With no one on his side, Milkan became the leader of a group a bandits and began taking things he wanted, things he felt he should have had, by any means necessary. He later stole the heirloom lance from his family, intent of keeping it and its power for himself. While it’s true Miklan is not a nice person at all, more like a sadist, the reason he became that way was due the treatment of his family.

#16 – Dorothea

I am in the camp of the very few who like Dorothea’s second outfit better than her first – that dress is boss. Some of her supports are downright sweet and her interactions with Ingrid in their paralogue are just adorable. I love how we get to see so many different sides of Dorothea and how she treats each of her aquantinces with the side of herself that’s most appropiate.

#15 – Shamir

The silent Shamir. Unlike so many characters who talk and talk and talk, Shamir only speaks when necessary until she gets close to someone. Her skills are top-knotch, which is showcased in her supports. Her personality is a reflection of her work and the kind of jobs she does as well as her way of protecting herself. She’s mysterious and deadly.

#14 – Rhea

Oh Rhea. I’m often torn in the way I feel about her, going from understanding to becoming frustrated with her within the span of a single conversation. Her desire to see her mother is what drives everything she does – every single thing. She is 100% committed to trying to reach her goal, no matter the cost, and she’s been at it for almost an eon. Outside of that goal, what she’s doing she truly believes is the right thing. She’s trying to guide people towards the right path and away from conflict. She lets no one truly into her innermost thoughts, not even Seteth, and her emotions are all sequested away, so much so that when they do come out it becomes obvious. I mean, for anyone who thinks she’s nuts, let’s take a look at some of the trauma she’s gone through. Her beloved mother, whom she obviously cared for more than anything, was murdered and her body was used to make a weapon. Said weapon was then used to slaughter the vast majority of her brethern who were then in turn alos turned into weapons to be used to kill. She had to then fight the man who had killed her mother to reclaim what’s left of her body and to stop any more pointless killing. Yeah, Rhea’s had it rough.

#13 – Marianne

Ah, sweet Marianne. It was great to watch her change and grow based on her supports with the other characters. Her caring nature towards the animals, espcially the horses, was lovely – she even knows the names of a few of them (the only one to refer to the horses by name). I like how her PTS outfit reflects the changes she’s overcome – even the subtly of making her hair neater.

#12 – Catherine

Badass female knight with a legendary sword. She’s brash, not lady-like, and not afraid of anything really. The way she rushes into combat w/o a though for danger, the fact that she doesn’t try and hide her past from the person whom it affects the most, and her way of testing people. Catherine’s great.

#11 – Hubert

Juts missing the top 10 is loyal Hubert. I’ll admit I didn’t like Hubert at first but he grew on me bit by bit. Hubert’s S-Support with Byleth is like the cutest thing ever – I was not expecting it at all. This is loyalty done in a good way.

*The Summit*

The best characters in the game, IMO. These are the characters I love!

#10 – Petra

I got to admit, I like her not-perfect talking. That’s so much of Petra’s charm. Adding to that is how Petra’s always trying her best and trying to advance herself. She has modest goals she wishes to reach and doesn’t try and sell herself as better than she is. She’s always willing to learn and to help others. When there’s someone with a different opinion, Petra tries to understand why they feel the weay they feel and to try and find common ground.

#9 – Lysithia

Oh poor girl. Lysithia struggles with others seeing her as a child or too childish due to the fact that she’s younger than most of the students. She’s incredibly intellegent and throws herself into her studies. Both of these things lead to others teasing her, either playfully or actually. Instead of taking it stride, this ‘teasing’ causes her temper to show and erupt. She can’t tell them WHY she’s trying so hard, why she’s so desperate to achieve cause that would reveal her secret. She’s burrying all this hurt and anger deep inside that she can’t talk about because can understand what she went through (except perhaps Edelgard). And even though she knows she’s going to likely die soon, she’s not focused on her own life: she’s doing all she’s doing to try and help her family...

#8 – Sylvain

Sylvain quickly became one of my favorite blue lion boys. At first glance he looks like this degenerate womanizer...and then you learn abut him and why Sylvain is why he is. His father views him as a studhorse and that his crest is the only good thing about him; his father literally cannot see Sylvain as an actual person, just a way to further the family. Having a father like this and a brother who hates him for having been born with a crest has greatly shaped Sylvain. In order to have some semblence of himself, Sylvain began to act out, to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING he could to not be what he was supposed to be. His father wanted a noble son; Sylvain did everything he could to not be that. This got him into trouble again and again but Sylvain didn’t care. Sylvain is willing to do things that make others look down upon him if it helps him try and escape from his life...

#7 – Bernadetta

Aw, Bernie. Bernie’s such a good girl. Based on what she went through, it’s amazing she’s even sane. Her father’s idea of parenting was tying her to a chair and forcing her to remain quiet and submissive for hours, to “teach her to be a good wife” which is the reason she turned into such a nervous wreck of shut-in. He resorted to beating to near death a boy she made friends with because he was a commoner, which terrified Bernie into not wanting to make friends at all. Bernie’s mom seemed to have a little sense and smuggled her out but this is only AFTER she allows this stuff to go on for years – YEARS. Bernie’s had years of psycological trama inflicted on her and then she gets thrust into a school surrounded by people whom she has to interact with. The poor thing. It’s a testament to her professors and friends to see how far Bernie has come; to watch her change and grow as she slowly comes around to adjusting to normality.

#6 – Ingrid

There is something incredibly entertaining about a lady knight who loves to gorge herself on food. Loving eating food is generally a character trait you see on guys (typically big guys like Raphael) so to see it on a chick is a good change of pace. Her whole no-nonsense strict attitude is a great contrast to that. She’s not girly or into very lady-like things such as dresses or makeup or tea parties. Ingrid is a guy’s soul in a girl’s body….and she’s amazing.

#5 – Felix

If you haven’t read the entry for Rodrigue (he’s #53 on this list) go read that first. After all that shit that Felix’s gone through, it’s amazing he’s even still standing and capable. He’s stewing with anger and grief that he’s never been able to work through and it manifests as anger and his stand-off attitude. Poor freaking Felix.

#4 – Flayn

Fishy Queen. I do not get the hate for Flayn. She’s been horribly oversheleted by Seteth in his attempts to protect her so it’s left Flayn a bit naive. Flayn’s usually very cheery and happy which is a bright light in the depressing war times. She’s also a quite capable mage, mainly with healing magic but she can also learn a good bit of reason magic too. Flayn is always trying her best while trying to fit in with the others – she’s over 1000 years old, mind you! It can’t be easy trying to fit in when you don’t understand and when a vast majorirty of those years were spent asleep. She was involved in an ancient battle where she was badly injured (Seteth blames it on her being too young) and requires sleep inorder to heal. Meanwhile everyone else she knew and lived with aside from Seteth was killed. She wakes up an everything she knew and just about everyone she knew is just...gone. Not only her beloved mother but any friends she had too are just gone. It’s no wonder she fears falling asleep when this is what happened. Her obession with fish? It’s Flayn’s coping mechanism for dealing with the loss of her mother. Flayn explains on numerous occassions that she spent lots of time sitting with her mother while she fished and that fish is her favorite food due “to no small part” of this pastime. Fishing and eating fish is Flayn’s way of remembering her mother and dealing with the fact that she’s no longer with her. Flayn’s supports are just great; they all develop her personality more. With Dimitri and Dedue, Flayn’s cooking is explored. Flayn can’t cook although she tries her best. With Dedue, Flayn tries to learn to cook better. With Dimitri, Flayn expresses her disdain that no one enjoys her cookings and how this wastes food, even when she tries her best. Obviously Flayn never cooked before – her mother did most of it. Now there’s no one in her family to cook so Flayn’s trying to learn to try and follow in her mom’s footsteps. With Ignatz and Manuela, Flayn’s exploring things she never has seen or done before: the opera for Manuela and paintings with Ignatz. In Claude’s and Lindhardt’s supports, Flayn sidesteps questions about her heritage and her crests. With Sylvain, we see how Flayn grows and learns to not trust the rumors others say. In Felix’s, she’s trying to help Felix find a purpose after the war ends that still allows him to use his sword. With Raphael’s it’s Flayn who’s being helped by Raphael as she tries to “grow stronger”; she even mentions how she’s frail and how this worries Seteth. And then there’s Ferdinand’s supports where it’s clear Flayn’s been starved of physical affections aside from Seteth. And their supports, between Seteth and Flayn, are a great progression between the two...Overall, I love little Flayn.

#3 – Lorenz

I like noble boy. I will admit, I hated his schooldays haircut with a burning passion...and then man on man did he become HOT pts. Winner of the best boy glow-up. A lot of Lorenz’s character flaws are the fault of his father. His father taught him that all that is important is being nobility and Lorenz ate it up, not knowing any better. His father instilled into him how he neeed to find a wife to further the family’s influence and thus how she must be a noble. This worked so well on Lorenz to the point that he willing to even give up someone he loves if they happen to be a commoner. Lorenz spends a lot of time trying to ‘interview’ girls to find his perfect noble bride, coming off as a bit on an ass – even when he’s confronted by Byleth he refuses to believe he’s done anything wrong since this is what his father taught him to do. It takes a long time until Lorenz starts seeing that he is wrong that what his father taught him is wrong. He starts using his own head and his own eyes to determine what is instead of using the opinion blasted into him by his father. He’s always trying to help other, feeling it’s his obligation as a noble to help those around him, which is a quality that he alone seems to take seriously (despite the school being filled with nobles). He originally dislikes Claude cause he believes that Claude isn’t taking his responsibility as the next Alliance head seriously since Claude is so laid back. He eventually comes to see that, despite appearances, Claude is working on the issues and is capable. His S support with Byleth where he mentions how he has "worked tirelessly to improve" "to become a man truly worthy of (Byleth)" and then is uttely shocked if Byleth tells him he already was worthy shows how dedicated he can be. With Ignatz, he instills confidence in him, seeing talent in Ignatz for art and talking about how there is more to knighthood than combat. His poetry writing comes out with Manuela’s supports and he convinces Hilda through actions to actually throw herself into battle. But I think his best supports are with Marianne. The vast majority of her supports are the others telling her to “be more confident” or “smile more” or other such things where they give her advice on how to improve...but Lorenz is the only one who comes to see that nothing needs to change. He starts by complementing her and then commenting on how she “needs polish” only to realize he was wrong and state she is “becautiful just the way she is”, accepting her fully for who she is without looking to change a thing. He is, essentially, telling her she is perfect the way she is and she doesn’t need to change at all for him to love her...which I find just so utterly sweet.

#2 – Edelgard

Edel gets a lot of hate but I honestly love her character so much. Edelgard is a doer not someone who sits by and does nothing. Due to things outside of her (and her father’s) control, she would up the victim in an experiment, a experiment that killed all of her siblings. Edelgard alone survived although at a cost. That experience forever changed her. Gone was the child and in her place rose Lady Edelgard. Unlike Lysithia who is dealing with her similar situation by trying to provide for her family before her time runs out, Edelgard isn’t. Her goal is the destruction of the circumstances that caused the experiment as well as those who caused the experiment to happen upon her so that this cannot happen again to anyone else. Since the experiment were done to give crests and since Edelgard has obviously seen how some children are treated whent hey have / do not have one, she aims to destroy all of that. Edelgard is literally stomping her foot down and saying ‘no, this isn’t a good or fair system and I’m not going to stand around and let it continue’. She’s willing to sacrifice everything to attain this goal, even if it turns her into a monster or ends in her death. Instead of waiting for the world to change, Edelgard decides to BE the change. She knows she’s going to be responsible for the deaths of a lot of people and she clearly struggles with the idea of this but in the end she decides that if she does nothing than that number will be greater so she persists. She burries her desire for friends and for love because she can’t bring herself to trust or rely on others – her father loved her but couldn’t protect her; the nobles in her father’s court are resonsible for hurting her too. They had her trust and they betrayed it. Her heart has been broken already; I don’t think she wants to risk it breaking again by trusting someone who will betray her, by making friends who can abandon her, by falling in love with someone who doesn’t understand what she’s doing. In CF when you side with Edelgard, you get to see more of that emotion slowly come out. Think on the PTS reunions: Dimitri was in disbelief and then apathetic that Byleth was alive; Claude was slightly surprised but then glad; Edelgard though broke down. Edelgard was the only one to get so emotional over Byleth’s return – someone she had trusted whom had returned that trust wasn’t dead after all; there wasn’t another corpse to add to the pile of people she cared for. And in that final animatic where Byleth falls – she’s clearly so upset. She’s crying, clearly devistated. Devistation which turns into laughter when Byleth revives because she can’t believe it. I stand by my opinion that Crimson Flower is the canon ending for FE3H. It’s the only ending where the endings song is different; all 3 other paths have the same song “Edge of Dawn” but not CF – you get something different. Add to that that EoD is sung by Edelgard. And let’s not forget the symbolism. The game is Fire Emblem. What’s a fire emblem? Crest of Flames. Who posess this crets out of the main cast: Byleth & Edelgard. And in CF you unite. Also notice the same letters. Crimson Flower (CF) & Crest of Flames (CF). That’s not a coincidence.

#1 – Seteth

I honestly could fill pages on why I love Seteth as a character but for here I’ll try and keep it shortish. I’ll start with his supports. Seteth’s supports are all about his advice to the others and him trying to guide them. For Cyril, he’s talking about how it’s great to repay debts but it is also important to consider one’s future as well; he doesn’t want to see Cyril just waste his whole life in servitude to Rhea but rather to grow into his own. With Catherine, it’s concern over her safety, over how she throws herself into battle without care for the consequences. For Manuela, it starts with a lecture over her drinking habits but turns into something far more personal when his wife and daughter get mentioned. Outside of the paralogue, this is the only time an outside person gets to learn that Seteth even had/has a wife and daughter and it’s Manuela who gets told it, implying a deeper friendship. Hannerman’s involves his investiagtion of Seteth’s crest and how Seteth is constantly refuting him, obviously trying to protect himself and Flayn from others finding out the truth. With Leonie, he teaches her how to relax while fishing while she improves his own skills in the area. For Hilda, he’s trying to improve her work ethic first by confronting her about her excuses, and then by writing a story about her laziness...which does work somewhat as it gets her to work on illustrations. For Ingrid, he’s a voice of reason about the demands of her father and he’s the one who suggests that Ingrid simply talk to him about her issues, something which she didn’t consider. For Felix, he’s trying to help Felix realize his beliefs are holding him back and that he needs to make friends. With Bernie, he helps her build some confidence in her own skills and talents. And of course we can’t forget his interactions with Flayn where he goes from overly protective, to realizing he’s a bit too overbearing, to actual apologizing for that. Seteth acts as a conduit or a spark that helps inspire change in those around him, to wake up potential, or to see things differently. He’s strict and often seems somewhat unreasonable about rules and regulations but its obvious this is his way of trying to protect people. He’s shouldering massive guilt over the events that happened in the last war. He personally blames himself for Flayn being hurt and for his wife dying. This event spurred him on to becoming overprotective of his daughter, of the only thing he had left. Seteth is doing what he’s doing to PROTECT his child (unwilling to see her to come to harm), even if he’s going about it in the incorrect way. He has literally devoted his whole life to protecting Flayn to the point that when she gets kidnapped, he falls apart at the seams and is unable to do anything at all except despair and distress. Flayn has become his whole world and just about everything Seteth does is to protect her or help her. That kind of devotion from a father is incredible, especially in a series where most of the parents kinda suck. I also adore how he breaks the typical “paper-skinned mage” trope. Let’s face it, most of us probably thought the stern chuch advisor was likely going to be a mage – and then we get a wyvern rider with a lance. I could go on and on, but I’ll leave it here. Seteth is just the best character.

...this was 18 pages of writing.....

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95liners3rdmember · 5 years ago

Text

Worth It

Chapter Five: The Note

Word Count: 3070

Chapter Four: Whelp...

After a very long and somewhat restful weekend, I’m on my way back into work. Over the weekend Hoseok, Jin and Jungkook made an appearance at my apartment to check up on me. Namjoon and Yoongi both made an effort by texting me, knowing that I really wanted to be left alone. Taehyung made a whole scene out of it though, he came bursting through the door with his boxy smile turned on and a bag of take out. Taehyung was actually very helpful with planning my sister’s flights. But I think the gesture that really threw me off was a text from an unknown number telling me that they hoped I’d feel better soon. My gut instinct tells me that it’s the one member that didn’t make his presence known. It was sweet of them and very thoughtful.

Early this morning, everyone left for Osaka which meant the minimal staff is left at the company. It’s going to be lonely for the next two weeks without them around but it gives me time to work at my own pace. There are a few things that I want to change before teaching everyone. I even want to brainstorm over the new solo songs.

Moving into an isolated practice room, I connect the camera to the tripod and connect it to the tv. But first I need to call my sister and walk through the plan for her plane ride.

Nat’s face brightens up the screen as she smiles widely. There’s music playing softly in the background and instantly I can tell that it’s a BTS song. She’s going to lose her mind when she finds out that in a few weeks she will be in the same room as them.

“Well hello dear elder sister. To what do I owe this call?”

“Weirdo. I’m just calling to tell you that I’ve emailed you a ticket this morning. Pack your bags, you’re coming to Seoul.”

“Are you SERIOUS?! I didn’t actually think you’d fly me out.”

“I aim to please. You’ll be staying for a week. But there are a few rules to go over. Those can wait till you get here though.”

“You are literally the best, hold on ...I can stay for a week?!”

The screen is paused as she looks at the tickets I sent her. The gut aching laugh I let out echoes around the room. If anyone were to walk by they would think I’m som crazy person. Dropping down on to the floor, mindful of the knee, I lay flat against the ground and hover the phone above me.

“I think Jimin doesn’t like me.”

It comes out of the blue and the entire vibe between us shift from lighthearted to serious. The smile that was on my face a few seconds ago fades and turns into a deep frown.

“I understand that I wasn’t supposed to make friends with them and get too close but I need to have some sort of relationship with each member. But I feel like Jimin honestly doesn’t trust me or my dancing ability.”

As the words flow out my heart clenches up and aches. Deep down I would love to be close friends with them. But considering who they are and their statuses, there’s no way that can really happen. The only reason why Namjoon and I have been able to keep our friendship is because of the distance. I know that we are going to bicker and disagree on a few things here and there since we will be seeing each other everyday. But him and I can work through it.

Jimin and I though ...that's another story.

“You’re worrying too much y/n. I know that deep down you wanted Jimin to be impressed and that you looked forward to working with him the most. Just give him some time and space. Maybe everything will be worked out when he comes back from tour.”

We stare at the screens in silence as the words sink in. I maybe did come off a little too bossy when I talked to him in the practice room, but I had good intentions. I’ve seen in the past when he overworked himself and I just want to make sure that doesn’t happen again.

“Plus he’s your bias so you’ve always ha-”

“Seriously! SHHH! We aren’t going to bring that up when you’re here either. And I wouldn’t say bias, more like someone I look up to.”

Nat wiggles her brows and I huff out in annoyance. If she acts like this here, then I’m screwed.

Saying a quick goodbye, I turn off my call and connect my phone to the speaker system. It’s on a random playlist that I created. Mostly made of BTS songs but a few other bands are thrown in there.

Dancing alone has always left me with the feeling of peace. I’m not having to worry about teaching someone else or keeping rhythm with another person. There’s no tension, my body can just relax and move with the music. It clears my head to where I don’t have to worry about anything besides the steps. Nothing outside of the closed door of the practice room matters.

It works at first but in all honesty I’m still trying to piece together a way to either apologize to Jimin or get him to warm up to me. The first two days seemed like we would get along just fine. I’m guessing I overstepped a boundary. But if that was Jimin that texted me, why didn’t he just use the number Taehyung gave me?

The other night we were getting along just fine too. But...ugh...Why am I having such a hard time with this? Better yet why am I letting it get to me so much?

Just as my foot lands on the floor my knee tweaks which causes me to shuffle and spin down to the ground. Here I was thinking it was completely healed. Looks like I’ll have to take the rest of the day easy and sit in my office. I know that they were supposed to be sending out emails of concept ideas for tour and stage layouts. Also, I need to get all of the backup dancers scheduled next month to teach them too.

Looks like I’m going to call it a day on dancing. I’ll have to take everyone’s advice about going slow and taking my time. Taking down all of the equipment doesn’t take long and before I know it I’m back at my office door. My hand rests on the handle but what stops me from entering is the note taped on the glass.

‘Ms. y/l/n please come to the front desk at your earliest convenience. Thank you.’

Strange. Quickly I open the door to set everything down and to change out of my tank top into a loose button up before leaving the room again.

The halls are quiet as I make my way down to the main lobby. With most of the staff gone, it seems strange being in the company. I can’t go and crash in Namjoon’s studio while he’s working to kill some time. Turning the corner I see a few other staff walking towards one of the break rooms, they wave hello and I returned the gesture with a wide smile. Even though I’m the newest addition to the BigHit team they all have been very nice and welcoming. At the front desk is a woman, she looks to be around my age or slightly older, who’s typing away at the computer in front of her.

“Hello, I was told to come down.”

“Oh hello y/n. I was wondering when I was going to meet you. Oh yes, there was a delivery here for you. We tried to take it to your office for you but we figured you were in the practice room and didn’t want to bother you.”

“A delivery?”

Why would I be getting something delivered here at the company? If my family were to send something they would at least give me a notice so I knew to look for it. Scrunching my brows I watch as she grabs out a white envelope and holds it out for me. Hesitantly I take it and examine the outside. There’s nothing written on it at all. No name or anything.

“Are you sure this is for me? It’s not addressed to anyone.”

The smile on her face falters for a moment, almost like she’s trying to figure out what to say. Quickly she recovers and smiles even wider.

“I’m sure it’s for you. Have a great day y/n! Maybe we could get lunch one day while bangtan is out on the road?”

“Oh… sure um…”

“Mina, I’m Mina. Just let me know when you’re free. I’ll see you soon.” She waves again and then turns her attention to the postman that snuck in during our conversation.

Walking slowly down the hallway, my fingers gently tear open the envelope and pull out a neatly folded letter. My heart stills and drops to my stomach as I read the writing slowly.

‘When I come back, I’d like to talk. I hope you feel better and don’t overdo yourself while we are gone.

Jimin’

That was completely unexpected. Tucking the paper back into the envelope, I feel myself start to get anxious. There’s no doubt in my mind that he wants to talk about what happened, but this could go one of two ways. Hopefully it goes the way I want it and we will be friendly. But the world works in mysterious ways sometimes.

Shortly after dinner I find myself lying on the couch in complete boredom. Today was a productive day at least, I managed to finish out the schedule for the next few months. The company also hired someone to assist me for when I teach the backup dancers. There’s a few dances where we will need them so the help is welcomed. Fake Love is coming along, next we are going to work on Idol and the Mic Drop remix.

The videographer told me that there was going to be a lot of shooting for those two and his concepts sound really impressive. It’s almost intimidating. There’s going to be a lot of work put into all of the music videos for the Love Yourself trilogy so I need to make sure that all of the members have the moves down and are comfortable doing them. We all are going to have to work hard but it will pay off.

Across the room my phone starts ringing, who could be calling me this hour? Rolling myself off the couch I shuffle to the countertop to grab the phone. I should’ve paid attention to who was calling.

“Hello…”

“Hi y/n…” A deep voice speaks out my name with a little accent behind it. To me the person sounds like someone who’s been drinking at dinner and it ready for bed.

My eyebrows scrunch together as I pull the phone away from my ear to look at the screen. It’s an unknown number, actually it’s the unknown number that texted me the other day while I was resting.

“Jimin?”

Why would he be calling me? From what he wrote, he wanted to wait until he came back to talk. In the background I can hear a few other voices, from what I can hear it sounds like Taehyung and Jungkook. The line is silent on his end for a long moment and just as I go to say something else he responds.

“Sorry. I should’ve called on my other phone.”

“Is everything okay?” Something in his tone makes me start to worry. The loud noises behind him vanish as the slamming of a door hits my ear. Wincing at the loud noise, I pull out a barstool so I can lean against the countertop.

“Did you get my note?”

“Yes.”

“Good. I just wanted to make sure that you did. Good night y/n, see you in a few weeks.”

The phone call goes dead and I’m left staring at the black screen. What was that all about? Quickly I dial Namjoon’s personal number and within two rings he answers with a concerned voice.

“Is everything alright?”

“I’m not sure. Have you spoken with Jimin in the past hour?”

“We all just got back from dinner. The maknae line stayed a little longer than I did. Why?”

“I just got a call from him. It was strange honestly. Has he been acting weird?”

There’s a deep chuckle and the sound of someone falling onto the bed. I can tell that he’s in deep thought as a long sigh escapes. My fingers fidget against the cold countertop and tap to a random beat.

“He’s been acting different ever since that day in the practice room. All weekend he kept away from all of us while he packed. During dinner Jimin was checking both of his phones too. Normally he has his personal phone hidden just in case we have to record anything. It’s safer that way.”

So Namjoon has noticed Jimin being different. My fingers stop tapping as he finishes his examination, placing my phone down I turn in on speaker. Getting up from my spot I walk to the kitchen and pour myself a glass of wine. After that phone call I need one.

“He left me a note at the company Joon.” My voice drops to a quiet tone as I take my seat again. Typically I steer clear of the nickname but since it’s just the two of us, it’s fine to drop the walls. Over the years we’ve been each other’s outlet when times were rough, when life wanted to throw a curveball big enough to destroy, and when we just couldn’t go to anyone else.

“Joon huh? It’s been awhile since you called me that. But he left you a note? That explains why he was late getting to the cars this morning. Do I want to know?”

“He wants to talk after the concerts. Also he hoped I would get better and not overwork myself.”

“Hmm… Jimin is a very caring person. Yoongi hyung and I notice the way he behaved the day you got hurt. He’s always the first to come running when someone’s hurt, Jimin was fighting against every natural instinct he has.”

“I think he was surprised at how headstrong you seem y/n. It’s not like you crossed the line or being unreasonable. Honestly if I would’ve introduced you two I wouldn't be surprised if you and Jimin haven’t become better friends than us. You two just need to talk when we all get back.”

Its times this these that I wish I had Namjoon’s wisdom and insight. Taking a long sip from the glass I look around my empty apartment and mentally kicked myself for not going with them. But that just makes their arrival even more anticipated.

“I guess I should trust you. Afterall you are Kim Namjoon, leader of BTS, IQ of 148.” Chuckling at my joke I finish off the small amount of wine left in the glass. The screen of my phone lights up again, Namjoon wants to FaceTime. Pressing the button, I prop my phone up against a random vase that was sitting on the counter. Namjoon is sitting at a makeshift desk with his laptop setup ready to produce. Always working, never resting.

“You know, it’s not too late to come down here.”

“Bang PD and I both agreed that it would be better if I waited until the home concerts. After all I don’t have the concert experience that everyone else has. The last thing I want to do is get in the way.”

The corner of his lip tugs in a knowing look. Holding my finger up, I move to make myself another glass as I pull my hair out from the messy bun. Namjoon is working on something when I return back to my seat, his jaw is sticking out as he focuses on the large screen.

“This reminds me of when I was trying so hard to learn Korean while you were working overtime to write songs.” I got him to crack a smile as his hands typed away.

“Glad I could be of some help.”

He’s distracted by whatever is going on on his end. Namjoon switches between typing on the keyboard and texting on another phone. Slumping down, I rest my chin in the palm of my hand before taking a lazy sip.

“I’m going to get off of here Joon. You’re trying to work and I have a feeling that you only FaceTimed me to keep me some type of company.”

That gets him to freeze all movement. Flashing him a quick smile I wave goodbye and end the call. The silence around me feels heavy. For the past week I’ve relied too much on the company of Namjoon and the others. Part of the reason I accepted this was so I could gain independence. So I could learn to live by myself, learn who I am and live the life I wanted.

Scanning through social media, I see the tweets of Armys sharing photos of the members from the airport. Armys saying how excited they are for the upcoming concerts. It makes my heart happy to see the love and support they all get. They’ve worked so hard but there’s also no doubt in my mind that there’s still a few more hurdles they have to leap. Hopefully I will be able to be by their side when that happens.

Taking the last sip of my wine, I wash the glass out quickly before turning all of the lights out on my way to my bedroom. Setting out my clothes for tomorrow I crawl into bed, my head fuzzy from the two rushed glasses of wine. Part of me wishes I could have a jam packed schedule tomorrow so time would fly by but in all reality I want time to skip forward. I want to talk with Jimin to clear the air and possibly start over. But that’s not how life works. For the next few weeks I’ll have to keep myself busy and try to distract myself to help time pass by.

#bts #bts fanfic #park jimin #park jimin fanfic #jimin x reader #bts smut #worth it

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all-hail-the-witcher · 4 years ago

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every book i had to read for english and why i didn't like any of them

i woke up thinking about this and decided to make this post. for context, i went to public school and was on the honors/ap track for english. i am a firm believer that english teachers ruin books for their students inadvertently. this is my experience:

6th grade language arts

we read three books during 6th grade, bridge to terabithia, the cay, and where the red fern grows. and i had to read a wrinkle in time over the summer which i didn't understand like at all so I'm just gonna skip that one honors english was not a thing until 8th grade where i went to middle school so this was a regular english class and i hated it. it was also a double period class for some reason, so i had an hour and a half of language arts every day.

it took us half the year to read bridge to terabithia. i am not kidding. that book is like maybe 100 pages and it took us a good 4-5 months. this is because our teacher stopped us every time we got to a pice of figurative language and made us analyze it. every. single. piece. i got so bored that i read ahead and then got in trouble for reading ahead. needless to say, i absolutely detested bridge to terabithia and would not touch it to this day if my life depended on it.

after bridge to terabithia we read the cay. this took us the rest of the year. the cay is a relatively short book as well so i got bored with this one quickly as well. i really dont remember much about the discussions, but i remember a long one about how the cover was “inaccurate,” which, yes, it was but i dont know if a bunch of 11 and 12 year olds need to spend a week debating that. i think i hated it mostly because, again, we read it for 5 months.

the last three weeks of the school year, our teacher gave us a book and said “here read this before school ends because we have to read three books a year and we only read 2″ (for context, the other language arts class had read about 5-7 books that year and found it insane that we were “still reading bridge to terabithia”) so i read where the red fern grows. all in all it wasn't a bad book, i did kind of enjoy it, but since i was rushed reading it on top of all my other homework and because it was definitely ahead of my reading comprehension level, it wasn't my favorite.

7th grade language arts

now, a bit of a disclaimer here, this was the year that i was in language arts with the guy i had a crush on and one of my close friends at the time. so, i didn't really pay that much attention to begin with. we read quite a few books in this class, but I'm not sure if i remember all of them. again, this was a double period.

i think the first book we read was freak the mighty. i remember not liking this book because i felt like i was missing something. there was definitely some kind of metaphor or something in there that i was supposed to get but because i was literally twelve i didn't get it and i didn't find the meaning in it. theres nothing more frustrating than reading a book that you dont understand.

after that I'm pretty sure we read the wave. it was explained to us that the wave is supposed to symbolize how the n*zis came to power and all that stuff, and while we all knew this, i dont think we really Understood it. (probably because we were 12). we all kinda saw it as a joke and thought it was funny. i think that if i read it now i would be like. “well shit this is really interesting” but 12 year old me wanted to make fun of it with the rest of my class.

i think we read seed folks next. this was another book that just went over all of our heads. its about how a garden changes a whole bunch of peoples lives which is like, super interesting. but none of us got it and were like “lol this is stupid” so much so that we actually stopped reading it. like my teacher stopped having us read it.

I'm fairly certain the last book we read was the miracle worker. a lot of us had had to read parts of it before that class so we were all kinda familiar with it already. i vaguely remember some kind of obnoxious class joke about the book that was probably rude. i remember finding it interesting, but there were so many activities we did about the book that i lost interest.

8th grade honors reading

this class was A Trip. i liked the teacher, but she was a little out there. its unclear whether she got fired or just didn't come back after that year. i had a lot of fun in her class but it was usually because we all bonded over hating the assigned reading.

i dont remember what order we read the books in and i dont remember if this was all of them, but to the best of my recollection this is what we read

we definitely read romeo and juliet. by the time you're in 8th grade, everyone knows the story of romeo and juliet, so it wasn't like that suspenseful or a surprise or anything. but we had to act the reading out. yes we had to act out romeo and juliet. with burger king crowns. and wrapping paper swords. clearly the teacher was trying to have fun with us, and it was fun fun for awhile but it got old. especially when you got participation points taken off your grade if you didn't read for once of the characters (which is massively unfair because not everyone wants to get up in front of a class in a paper crown holding a wrapping paper tube and read in old english when you're 13 but whatever).

we also definitely read animal farm. it was another book that went right over our heads (or, mine at least). i didn't actually really understand it until i had to read the communist manifesto for ap euro senior year. and our teacher talked in a bad russain accent the entire time? i could barely keep the characters straight, let alone analyze the underlying message and all that. now i might actually like it since I'm a history major and have a decent background on the russian revolution, but at 13? no thanks.

the one book that everyone hated (including the teacher herself) was farewell to manzanar. it was a memoir about a young girl growing up in the japanese internment camps and looking back on her life and stuff like that. the story itself was very interesting and we all learned a lot from it. but the person who wrote it did not know how to write. it was confusing, some chapters made no sense, and none of us generally knew what was going on. we had to finish the book because we were the honors class, but the regular class got to stop after chapter 6.

i think we only read 4 books that year and the fourth one was the outsiders. this was one of two books that i actually liked the entirely of my public school education. i kinda vibed with it when we were reading it and then i vibes with it more once i got to high school and rediscovered it. it was just a good book, pretty solid, good themes, fantastic.

9th grade honors english

i absolutely hated this class. hands down the worst teacher i ever had. she was one of those that should have retired 20 years ago but was still teaching for some reason. and she hated kids. legitimately. that was the first time i got a c and it took my parents a long time to realize that it wasn't because of me, it was because the teacher was absolute shit. the only thing that made that class bearable was the fact that my friend was in there and so was this guy that totally like her so he would flirt with her pretty incessantly and it was Hilarious.

we read so many books that year and i hated all of them. a lot of them were like greek dramas and plays? like we read oedipus rex and julius caesar and antigone. and i hated all of them because the teacher made me hate reading and made it seem like a chore.

by far the worst was the old man and the sea. i hated that book, hemingway was terrible. i struggled to find any kind of meaning in it and connected all of my responses to the bible because my teacher loved it when people did that.

we read inherit the wind and to kill a mockingbird and all quiet on the western front which were the only books i found remotely interesting. but i still hated them because i knew that we would have to do her reading quizzes which were impossible so it was pointless to read the book anyway.

and we also read a raisin in the sun. i dont remember what this was even about except that there was some kind of insurance money involved. but by this point we were all really done with our teachers shit and my one friend legitimately said during class “but, ms. [name] if you put a raisin in the sun, doesn't it just get more raisiny?”

10th grade ap english language and composition (american lit)

i loved this class and the teacher but i hated all the assigned reading because we read it for the ap test. everything you read was in the context of having to find themes and shit to write about on the ap. so i didn't really get any of the books for that reason. i think we only read three and they were the scarlet letter, the crucible, and the great gatsby. i kind wish i paid more attention to gatsby and i think i would like it more now but at the time i detested it. we also had to read grapes of wrath over the summer and i hated that. i wanna read books to read them, not to come into school and write essays on them. also the ending was weird and i hated it.

11th grade honors (british lit)

another bad year of english, not quite as bad as freshman year, but still bad. still hated it. i outlined many fics in that class. the teacher did not like me and i did not like her. she also talked in this weird fake almost british but not quite accent that sometimes still haunts my nightmares. she was also one of those backwards feminists who claims they're a feminist but still was sexist in her favorites and the way that she treated people in the class?? after english i had math and my friend (the same girl who said the thing about raisins freshman year) and some others would complain to our math teacher about our english teacher. math was essentially a support group for english where we would discuss answers to reading checks.

over the summer we read 1984, which, cool concept (esp right now) but i hated knowing that i had to find some kind of deep meaning in it because i was going to have to write an essay on it as soon as i came back to school.

from there i think we read beowulf which was interesting. i dont know if we actually read the whole thing or just excerpts but again, i hated looking for meaning.

we read a tale of two cities which was like the one book i actually wanted to read because i am a huge fan of the shadow hunters book serieses and will and tessa quote that book all the time. i think if i had read it to read it it would have been better but first, dickens is wordy and weird and second i dont really wanna have to search out symbolism while I'm reading because its required.

we read macbeth, which i just didn't like. idk why. i just kinda thought it was stupid. i dont really have an explanation for this one. i think it was because we read it in the old english and that confused me a lot of the time.

and we read jane eyre. the only thing i remember from jane eyre was “pathetic fallacy” which is where the mood of the scene is reflected in the weather. i dont wanna dissect a book like that. and also my teacher referred to the book as “jane” but she said it “jAAYYneeE” which was annoying.

12th grade ap lit

dear god. this class. i had issues with this class. our teacher was something. everyone was afraid of him. e v e r y o n e. he ran detention and didn't know how to match his clothes and wore skinny ties. he had three swell bottles the he would bring with him to school every day. people claimed he used to be in a rock band and that was why his voice was so high pitched and weird. some said his wife left him, others said he had a kid. we were genuinely confused by him. he didn't teach, he yelled at you for doing things wrong without giving any instructions on how he actually wanted it done. he made college out to be some big scary thing where we would all be trampled. but mostly, he was an existentialist.

we had to read song of solomon over the summer. i hated it. i didn't hate it because of the messages and all that stuff, no the book itself was good and toni morrison is a great author. i just hated the fact that there was graphic description of incest, necrophilia, or sex at least once every 5-10 pages. i didn't wanna read that. and it turned me off the book. so when he asked us if we liked the book when the year started i said no and i argued with him about it. and he hated me for the entire year.

next i think we read waiting for godot. which was absolutely terrible. its literally a play where nothing happens. it would have been funny except that i knew i was gonna have to write an essay on it. how do you write an essay on a play where nothing happens? literally all of our discussions about it were about existentialism and it was terrible.

we read the metamorphosis, which everyone hated cause it could have been written in like 4 sentences. and our teacher thought he was So Clever for assigning it to us. he thought it was the biggest joke. and he went on and on about how its about existentialism and blah blah. the book would have been funny had he not only discussed it in regards to existentialism.

i think next was hamlet. i would have like hamlet had we not discussed it only through the lens of existentialism. its a good play, but i hated it because of the way he talked about it. even now, i only like it to make fun of the way he liked it. my friend and i send hamlet memes to each other all the time but only cause they remind us of our teacher.

one flew over the cuckoos nest. the second and final book that i actually liked my entirety of school. i dont know why i liked it, but it was just a good book. our teacher also had some kind of weird cowboy trope thing that he thought mcmurphy fell under which i thought was hilarious. the essay i wrote on that book was the only one he wrote “nice job” on and i still have it somewhere

my friend claims that we also read the stranger. i dont really remember what that book was about except some guy shot some people. there was definitely something in it that i didnt get.

anyway in conclusion required reading ruins books. when i told my creative writing advisor that i out of all the books i read for school i only like the outsiders and one flew over the cuckoos nest she was like “yeah, english teachers really ruin books for students”

#this is a very long post #saph screams #english #books n shit #english teachers are so hit or miss #and even if they're good teachers #that doesn't mean that you'll like the books

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arcadianambivalence · 5 years ago

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World on Fire, Episode 5: Us-Versus-Them

Late May 1940—Early June 1940

Harry’s BEF unit has dwindled down to four exhausted men straggling through the fog. Belgium has fallen to the German invasion. Refugees and soldiers line the roads all the way to the horizon as hundreds, if not thousands, walk to the coast. Stuka screamers swoop down over them in a practice called strafing.

Harry’s unit picks up a lost French girl and her dog and later finds a group of shell-shocked soldiers and two Senegalese soldiers separated from their unit in Ypres. (Yes! Something that includes the colonial forces!) Stan is suspicious that some of the men could be faking their symptoms to hide that they’re German spies or British deserters, but Harry refuses to leave the men behind as the group makes a long and perilous journey to the coast.

Along the way, they stop at a field hospital in hopes that the shell-shocked soldiers could be treated, but the head doctor says the hospital is full to capacity and cannot take everyone. The doctor in question? None other than Webster O’Conner! The interactions between the Parisian characters and the soldiers are brief, but it’s always a delight when characters from different storylines converge.

So, exhausted and still covered in blood from the attack on the road, the soldiers set out again with only a vague order of retreat and a possibly false map on a propaganda flyer to guide them. The German line is pushing in, and anyone left behind will be taken prisoner...from the French soldiers guarding the perimeter to the wounded in the field hospital.

Uwe receives the first letter from the Institute. He yells at his workers for displaying Nazi flags (because they could get “caught in the machines”) and draws the attention of an employee who is a proud member of the Nazi party. He tells Claudia (still at the lake house with Hilde) of the news, and the two resolve to be strong for their daughter, no matter what happens or how they disagree.

Later, the Nazi employee reveals that she knows about Hilde and her hiding place. Enraged, Uwe reacts like I’m sure many parents would want to if their child is threatened. He follows the employee into the factory and strikes her face with an iron. Between the blow of the iron, her fall onto a table, and her final descent to the concrete floor, the employee dies of head trauma.

Now with an even more urgent problem, Uwe turns to Nancy for help, and it turns out Nancy has had some experience with carrying a corpse in the past. Like the backstory of Harry’s father, Nancy’s history is still kept under wraps. Did she report on the Spanish Civil War? Something in America? Maybe the next two episodes will involve an explanation.

Douglas and Robina continue to meet and see Jan. Robina starts to look at Douglas with something more than pleasantness as he bonds with Jan.

(Again, I ask, if their kids are broken up for good, can they get together?)

But this enemies-to-friends-to-they’d-never-admit-to-wanting-to-be-lovers relationship still has its hurdles, particularly how they don’t see eye-to-eye about the war. Then there’s Robina’s lingering prejudices.

ROBINA: I can’t make out if [Jan’s] dourness is a racial characteristic or his personal disposition.

DOUGLAS: I’m not sure the Poles are a race.

ROBINA: Well, they aren’t like us, are they?

(Oh, there’s an us now?)

Across the Channel, Lois is now visibly pregnant and is treated differently for it, something underscored by her conversation with her manager, who suggests that she stand still while performing.

LOIS: Are you saying I wobble, Ted?

A pilot tries to make conversation with her and Connie (suspicion is drawn to his “Canadian” accent) but is rebuffed. Lois makes a wonderful stink face.

Gotta wonder if Stan’s fear of spies is foreshadowing for that guy being a spy.

She later speaks with a pilot, Vernon Hunter, who is immediately drawn to her. He would be part of the RAF’s support of the evacuation, but his “kite” (plane) was damaged and needs repair. The two have tea and meet a few times over the next days.

VERNON: I meet a lot of men who think they’re strong, Lois, but I know strength when I see it. And you have it in abundance.

Polite and observant? A pilot and a gentleman? It’s like Vernon walked out of an old movie—complete with tilted cap and proper accent.

Before he leads his men out and her ENSA troop moves on to their next show, Vernon asks Lois if he can write to her. She gives him her address on an envelope originally from Harry, but she keeps the old letter. She’s starting to let go of Harry, but not entirely. Not yet.

(Let him go, Lois! You’re always so sad when you’re in a scene with him. Be with someone who makes you smile and reminds you that you’re already strong!)

He looks at her like she hung the moon. It’s great. (Possible spy is by the piano).

Tom is one of the sailors delivering soldiers across the English channel.

TOM: How come our ship is called HMS Keith? Keith isn’t the name you give to a fighting ship. All the other ships are called Atlantic, Calcutta, Dreadnought. And we get Keith.

His bitter monologue about the un-inspiring name of the HMS Keith is ironic for a couple of reasons:

1. Because apparently his experiences on the Exeter weren’t enough for him

2. Because the HMS Keith would be sunk on June 1st, so in a bleak sense of luck, Tom could switch ships then.

3. Because once again, Tom is taking part in a historic event and doesn’t treat it as such.

4. Because characters eventually do get on lifeboats for a ship that captures Tom’s imagination, the Calcutta.

After months and months of walking, Grzegorz finally reaches the coast.* But Tom, having no knowledge whatsoever of Grzegorz’s background or the long and horrible journey he has had, refuses him room on the lifeboat because he skipped the queue and German planes are likely to return any minute. The confrontation only escalates from there. Tom points his gun at Grzegorz, who desperately challenges him with “I am not afraid of death.” A soldier pushes Grzegorz into the water with a dismissive, “Go fight for your own country!”

This is one of several scenes that highlight how people can sometimes draw behind national, ethnic, and racial divisions in times of stress, and how others can choose to cross these boundaries. Along with reminding the viewers of the less heroic sides of Dunkirk (there is more than one account of someone trying to get to a boat shot by a person in that boat), it also brings out the differences between Tom, Grzegorz, and Harry.

In a later scene, a soldier starts a fight with Harry’s unit over the Senegalese soldiers because they are part of the French colonial forces (and thus, to him, France’s responsibility to evacuate). Instead of leaving Demba and Ibrahim on the beach, Harry fires his gun into the air and commands that the Senegalese men remain with the group.

But beneath all their dramatic declarations is the fact that all three of them want to live. So when German planes fly over the beach and begin to strafe and bomb the men in the lifeboats and on the beach, everyone runs for cover. Higher up on the beach, Grzegorz is able to duck behind a crate. Tom is without shelter and collapses. It is unclear if he is still living.

Across the English Channel, Douglas senses something is terribly wrong. Already anxious over news of the evacuation (which would have become public knowledge on May 31st, as far as I’ve read), he rushes to Robina’s to see if, as the mother of an officer, she knows more about Harry’s survival, and possibly Tom’s. Concerned with Douglas’s emotional state, Robina refuses him entry in the house.

One thing that caught my attention when I rewatched this episode was how, up until this point, Douglas has generally made certain to call his children “my Tom” and “my Lois” and Robina’s son “your Tom.” In his anxiety, he refers to his son as “our Tom.”

Alone at home, Douglas continues to spiral into a panic attack, trembling, crying, and even having flashbacks of the sounds of distant fire. Lois and Connie eventually find him and try to calm him down, but Douglas refuses to rest without knowing what happened to Tom.

The undercurrent of identity runs throughout the show, from Robina’s referral of Jan as part of a Polish “race” to the sense of class in the Bennett family to Albert’s sense of isolation. You could extend the us-versus-them to the compartmentalization Kasia uses to cope with the murders of soldiers or the way Nancy navigates life as an antifascist reporter representing a neutral America in Nazi Berlin. World on Fire encourages the viewer to examine the contradictions and grey areas.

On one hand, you have Harry.

Harry starts to do more overtly heroic things this episode. He commands the inclusion of the shell shocked soldiers and stranded Senegalese soldiers. He makes sure Stan’s gut wound is checked. More than once, he uses his body as a shield from German planes and attacks.

What if Geoff is a spy? What if staying behind with the shell shocked soldiers seals their doom? But what if he isn’t a spy, and what if the soldiers are all taken to safety? No longer frozen in panic and concern for his men, Harry is spurred to action because of his concern for his men.

And yet, this show does not pass Harry’s choices off as simply heroic and worthy of praise or conversely fall into the ‘goodness-is-stupid’ narrative. It makes certain to show that Harry’s compassion is both an asset and a potential danger to everyone around him.

As Vernon Hunter says, “About the only thing left to believe in. Kindness.”

As Geoff says, “You are kind.”

On the other hand, you have Kasia, who is also driven by compassion, but whose options for resisting and fighting Germans and Nazism are very different. The routine she has with Thomasz of luring soldiers into the ruins in Warsaw and killing them inside.

Kasia tells Thomasz that she cannot remember the faces of the men they’ve killed, and that is how it must be. It’s killing them inside to do this, but they cannot think of another way of avenging the Poles killed in the invasion and in the massacres since then. To make things worse, we as the viewers know the danger ahead. There will be no evacuation or backup for Poland anymore, and certainly no miracles for Kasia and Thomasz.

*For Grzegorz to reach France, he would have had to walk through Germany, the Netherlands, and Belgium. While it is possible that the British forces he met in the previous episode gave him a lift at some point between Konrad’s death and his last appearance in the episode, it still doesn’t answer how Grzegorz was able to cross through Germany. Even if between episodes three and four, Konrad and Grzegorz managed to get on a boat that would take them out of Poland, around Denmark, and finally to the French or Belgian coast, you’d think we’d get some scene of this. It’s even more unlikely when you consider that in the same time, Eddie has made his way from Paris to Dunkirk on foot with likely regular stops for employment. But that’s really the only big stretch of imagination this show has asked of us, so I’ll just have to let it go.

Notes

The newspaper shown in the first scene between Douglas and Robina is dated Tuesday, May 28th. If we’re to use the night scenes, Lois and Connie’s change of clothes, and Tom’s mention of the HMS Keith as a reference, then this episode takes place over four to five days, ending around the date the HMS Keith sank, June 1st.

Eddie playing his trumpet while waiting along the outskirts of Dunkirk is one of my favorite images of this episode:

Resources and Further Reading

https://www.iwm.org.uk/history/what-you-need-to-know-about-the-dunkirk-evacuations

https://www.naval-history.net/xGM-Chrono-10DD-14B-HMS_Keith.htm

http://dunkirk1940.org/index.php?&p=1_187

Photographs

https://www.iwm.org.uk/collections/item/object/205194325

https://www.iwm.org.uk/collections/item/object/205194324

#world on fire #world on fire pbs #world on fire bbc #long post

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paulvibe · 6 years ago

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Just Friends - Part One (Paul McCartney x reader)

Okay, so I decided to write another fic. Whoops.

Words: 1.3k

Warnings: None

Summary: You and Paul McCartney were long time childhood friends before The Beatles became popular. You both drifted apart until a Summer afternoon in 1972 when he happens to walk into your bakery.

---Edited and updated as of 11/12/19

1962 - Paul: 20 - Reader: 17

You’d known each other for years; twelve to be exact. Twelve years is long, but not when the friendship began at a young age. Time doesn't seem to have passed, however it still felt like you were young, playing in the creek behind your parents' home.

“I’m moving to London.”

The words rattled your brain. Like a disgusting flavor that never seemed to wash out, no matter how hard you brushed your teeth. You mourned this day. Your heart shattered, that pit in your stomach only grew deeper, the pressure on your chest began to ache more. All symptoms of heartbreak. You didn’t love him, did you? I mean, twelve years. In that period there were false hopes, false readings, a number of almost kisses. But you never seemed to seal the deal.

His hand wrapped gently around yours. It meant naught. You remained silent, staring at the creek below your feet. The rickety old tree house you built had lasted ten years, and the two of you sat in it as though you were children again. Small sticks floated along the bank of the creek, caught in roots and rocks. It was quiet save for the babble of the water.

“Will you miss me?”

“Of course.”

His grip only tightened at your remark. You smiled, but it was entirely fake. You released yourself from his grasp and proceeded to jump out of the tree house.

TEN YEARS LATER, 1972

The bakery was quiet. The morning rush dashed by the shop windows, bringing a few customers here and there. You quietly kneaded bread dough, keeping an eye on the door in case anyone walked in. A record played in the background, covering up the silence of the shop. You wiped some fallen hair from your eyes and then wiped your floury hands onto the apron tied around your waist.

You hadn’t always dreamed of being a baker, no, that happened four years after you were well set into your career. You had actually gone to nursing school after High School, and became a nurse at the local hospital. It was a good job. The work was busy and your co-workers were nice, but It didn’t seem to make you happy. You ended up using baking as an escape, and later made the decision to quit nursing to open a bakery. It has been two years since then, and it was the best decision you have ever made.

Your parents didn’t like the idea of you not in a steady job, being unmarried. You would always roll your eyes, claiming that the bakery was doing quite well, and you didn’t need a husband to provide. Though secretly you wanted to feel that love. You weren’t looking anyways. At twenty-seven, most people gave up searching for a ‘soul mate’. You were too old for the dating scene, yet too young for adult dating. Besides, the bakery was your first priority.

The bell above the front door rang throughout the shop. You quickly made your way to the front, seeing a mop of black hair with a cap and a ridiculously designed sweater. The man looked around the bakery before he saw you come out from the back.

“Welcome in Sir, how can I help you?” You asked, pulling on some gloves.

“(Y/N)?” The man questioned. You looked up from your gloves and your eyes met those of Paul McCartney. Your childhood friend was standing right in front of you after ten years.

When The Beatles had gotten really popular, all contact ceased between the two of you. He had become too busy with the band, being famous and swooning women while you had transitioned nursing school. You cried for weeks when his letters home stopped. After trying to contact him for a few months you had given up; Paul was lost to you. It was one of the worst heartbreaks you’d suffered.

It was hard to see your ex-friends face and name plastered across every media. It would hurt every time you passed a Television shop and saw The Beatles playing on some talk show. It hurt anytime their music would come across the radio. It hurt when every magazine had his smiling face on it. It just hurt, for months.

Eventually the pain subsided, once you threw yourself into your work. I mean, you dated as well; a few boyfriends here and there, but they never seemed to stick. The longest relationship you had was just over a year, he was a doctor at the hospital you worked at. No matter how many dates, how many one night stands, how many boys passed through your apartment, nobody could fill that little small repressed void that Paul had left.

“Oh my god.” Was the only thing to stutter from your mouth.

“I can’t believe it’s you.” He said, smiling. You unfroze and shook your head in disbelief.

“Um- How are- How have you been?” You managed. It was almost a joke: ‘how have you been’. You knew exactly how he's been; ten years he's spent under the media’s microscope.

“Ha, well,” Paul laughed and shrugged his shoulders. “I mean, I’m sure you already know.” You chuckled in agreement. Butterflies surged around your stomach, and you couldn’t shake the feeling of excitement.

“Yeah, I’ve seen a few things.” You replied. That was a lie. ‘A few’.

“How are you?” Paul asked, leaning up against the large pastry display.

“Good! Good, yeah. This is my bakery so,” You gestured vaguely to the room and then shrug your shoulders. “Life’s been well for me.”

“You bake? I didn’t know.” He responded, looking at the pastries in the display. He looked just as delicious as the pastries.

“Well, it was a recent thing, but yeah.” You answered. Of course he didn’t know. That last thing he knew about you is when you got braces. The record playing filled the silence that fell between the two of you.

“This is impressive (Y/N).” He said softly. His doe-like eyes gazed at you, causing your heart to jump, which made your stomach flutter. God, he made you feel like you were 15 again.

“Well, thank you.” You laughed dismissively and shifted your position. “By the way, how did you manage to get here unnoticed?” Paul was a Beatle- well, ex Beatle- for goodness sakes, someone had to have recognized him.

“Hats help,” Paul joked, gesturing to the hat atop his head. His eyes lingered on you before he cleared his throat and looked at the cakes you had on display.

“Did you want to order anything?” You asked, fixing your apron.

“Oh right, the reason I came in.” He remarked, “I’ll get a small coffee and a slice of chocolate cake.” You nodded and grabbed the coffee pot, pouring the steaming liquid into a cup. You then grabbed a slice of cake, setting it on a clean plate. Paul watched as you worked. The way your tongue sticks out when you focus was something he’d always thought was cute. And the way you subconsciously tap your feet to whatever song is playing in the background. His mind thought back to the Quarrymen days, when you'd watch them practice and tap your foot to the beat.

Paul had always had a mild crush on you. But when his fame started to pick up, it devastated him. He never had time to come visit or reply to your letters, he barely had time to visit his father and brother. Eventually, he hated to admit, you had become an afterthought.

“Here you are.” You set his coffee down onto the counter, and put the cake in a paper bag. Paul quickly paid, and left a tip.

“So, I’ll see you ‘round then?” You asked, a little hopeful.

“Anytime I crave something sweet,” He lightly flirted and winked while gathering his food. He then started for the exit but stopped right as he reached the doors. You watched him, a confused look across your face.

“Would you like to get dinner?” Paul flipped back around.

“Y-Yes.” You replied, your eyes widening. You nervously wiped your hands onto your apron, feeling electric as his gaze bore into yours.

“I’ll pick you up here on Friday at 8?”

“Yes.” You nodded feverishly. Your eyes remained wide, staring into Paul’s hazel ones.

“It’s a date.”

--------------------------------------------------

Read the other Parts! Linked below <3

Two Three Four Five Six

#im like #maybe this will turn into a multichapter if ppl like it #pls reblog n like this #i want to continue writing this storyline #fanfiction #the beatles fanfic #paul mccartney fanfic #paul mccartney x reader #paul x reader #classic rock fanfic #classic rock fandom

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thekingdomheartsprincess · 6 years ago

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when kairi died part of me felt relieved

very long rant filled with run-on sentences, over-use of bold words, and over-use of italics. you’ve been warned

I’ve been holding off on my full review and thoughts on kh3 until after I get through my second playthrough. I will say, it was an overall great game and I was pleasantly surprised by a lot. I have my issues, but I’d like to hold off until I’m finished with my regular paced play through (not speedplay) before I write all my thoughts. However, one thing I really have to get out now is how absolutely disappointed and disgusted I am by kairi’s entire existence in kh3.

And just an fyi, I set the bar low going into this for her. I wasn’t expecting much, yet somehow, I was still let down harder than I thought was actually possible.To me, the highlight of kairi’s appearance in kh3 was probably going to be because she was training with axel. Therefore, with the reasoning that axel usually gets excessive screen time---you know, the guy that should have fake died twice before his actual fake death (which I’m not complaining about, just saying)...kairi would have by default gotten some of that extra relevance right??

Wrong... in a stunning turn of events they actually left axel to the side as well. He got a few good lines in, but at the end of the day he barely fights, does anything important, and somehow has his keyblade destroyed by xemnas in his first real battle with it. I’ll get back more to the truly ridiculous lack of keyblade skills later. While I’m still on the topic of axel though, let’s talk about kairi’s use as a tool to figure out axel’s feelings and xion. Like, no problems with the whole kidnapping thing, no deep connection making. Did a lot of us expect and fear that kairi would be used as a plot device for axel’s xion memories? Yes. Does it make it any better that we were prepared for it going into kh3? For me, yeah, but the real problem is it doesn’t stop there. And axel’s feelings and memories of xion were poorly included and barely mattered anyhow

Also the whole letter writing thing axel comments on, a sad excuse for not wanting to actually provide sokai interaction. “They’re more for herself”-bullshit tbh. Someone tell square enix that if they make me play another game where my girlfriend writes me letters and I can’t respond I’m gonna lose it. *cough ffxv cough* It was a sad excuse for trying to build up sokai before end game. Plus, bad writing aside, if my girl kairi is gonna be a romantic plot device forever; you could at least let her send sora those stupid letters. The poor girl is talking to him in her head. WHY

So much opportunity here to build up sokai before the end of the game. And you know what? I don’t really care about sokai anymore, or whether its canon, or if they have any moments at all in the game. But it you are going to use it as a plot device, you could at least put some effort into it. Sokai needs to be better if it is going to have such a huge direct impact on the ending of the game. Maybe this was difficult, because this really wasn’t the game for it. Everyone has a lot going on in this game, and for sora, his focus is really on getting the people connected to his heart back. He barely even talks about riku in the game! Which is completely justified, because the boy has a lot of stress on his shoulders and a lot going on. The sokai getting thrown in basically at the last minute of the game, is like white noise in the background...that shouldn’t have been there.

The paopu fruit scene felt uncomfortable and thrown in at the wrong moment. There was opportunity for this scene at the end of kh2, or before sora left the island again for 3d. Or if some effort was put into developing sokai throughout the game (which again, I don’t think this was the game for this) it could have worked. Instead, we got a scene which really wasn’t romantic in the slightest, and pretty much had “somebody or both of them is dying/being separated tomorrow” written all over it. The scene starts out of nowhere basically, riku is quite literally shoved to the side to talk to himself, kairi sort of dismisses romantic intentions when asking sora to share it with her, and sora sort of just nods his head and rolls with it. The best part, is the imagery relating to the drawings in the cave (which is admittedly beautiful). However, this is not the sokai paopu fruit scene 7 yr old me envisioned. While I certainly don’t expect to get what I wanted to see, this is almost an insult to all of the build up to this moment in previous games.

What would have been the only wonderful and meaningful sokai scene in the game, is the one where kairi is able to help sora basically escape death and light his way through the darkness or whatever. The whole “I’m going to keep you safe now” and “you make me feel stronger” thing is really sweet as an out of context scene if I knew nothing else about kh3. The problem is, this isn’t really true. Kairi doesn’t keep sora safe, and the limits of her strength seem to be in that one cutscene. Not to mention, this already happened. We literally saw this same thing happen in kh1-and it was a better scene.

Maybe I could believe kairi’s determination behind her words if she was able to even lift her keyblade when she’s being attacked, or put up a fight against her kidnapper (i mean come on, even belle got to elbow xaldin), or finish a battle against someone who was not an alternate version of herself (or remotely believably on xehanort’s side for more than a second). Seriously, she did more with her keyblade knocking out a few heartless in kh2. That scene was actually cooler. I am truly disgusted that I have to even think that. It’s not that I thought she would go up from kh2, but I surely didn’t think she would go soooooo far down.

They totally shot themselves in the foot with the whole merlin’s magic excuse. Axel and kairi show up as if they just got the keyblade 20 seconds before the keyblade war, yet supposedly they had unlimited time to train. Maybe we’ll get some bs excuse on how it “wasn’t exactly unlimited time” later, but seriously? If you were going to have both of them fail so miserably, you could have used the short training time as an excuse!! Why would you write yourself out of that excuse, just to give me these pathetic jokes of keyblade wielders. By all logical reasoning, if they had unlimited time to train, they should have both shown up stronger that xehanort and eraqus combined. Like did they just settle after they could shoot magic at x number of moving objects in merlin’s training facility???

She may not have done much, but by the time we saw her get mercilessly stabbed for no real logical reason I was relieved. Relieved that I might finally not have to watch this anymore, and can just go into all future kh games without having to worry about what they will do with her character. I want to say I was pissed, upset even, that they killed her off like that. Confused as to how this helps xehanort’s plan? Absolutely. I mean, wouldn’t that ruin his 7 princesses part 2 backup plan if he needed it? Wouldn’t the last key form as soon as he killed kairi? Were the 7 lights going to stop fighting him there? Was he just being a cruel dick? I don’t have the answers. But I will say that I didn’t actually get angry, until xehanort stole her fucking lines. “One sky, one destiny” She doesn’t even have that anymore. The significance of those lines, now can’t just be kairi’s but has to be shared with the man who killed her. Could it get any worse? Yes! Because sora has to go and do some strongly hinted form of self sacrifice for her again. Turning the shit show writing of kairi into probably the most detrimental part of the story.

Now, its playing such a huge role in kh3 and future kh games. It makes the major plot point of the ending of the game suffer. There’s no kairi for me to appreciate that would make me care about her dying, the one really good moment sora shares with kairi is hardly based in reality, and what’s supposed to be used as a way for sora to prove himself doesn’t really do that. He already sacrificed himself for kairi. What more is this proving? And with no excuse for kairi’s lack of training or presence in the game, I’m confused as to how this happened or why I’m supposed to care. However Nomura needed this to end up to set up future kh games, was this really the only way to do it?

I wish I could say I just personally cared this much about feminism in kingdom hearts, and that’s why I’m so disappointed by this complete and utter failure of writing a character, but that’s not even it. When I was little I loved kairi because she was like a new disney princess in a video game, and I was heartbroken when sora told her she couldn’t come with him for the rest of his adventure. That she would just “get in his way.” 23 year old me is still pissed and not letting go. Even more frustrating, is that square enix has (deliberately or not) ignored a large part of the fandom who just asked for a little bit better. The kairi bar was low, and square enix did the limbo rock under it. (bad joke i know, it’s 2:30 am and i should be sleeping)

I’ll shut up now, but be aware i’m screaming “and another thing about kairi in kh3!” every hour on the hour in my mind

#spoilers #kingdom hearts 3 spoilers #kh3 spoilers #kingdom hearts #kairi #kingdom hearts 3 #KH3 #square enix #i am going to be salty about this forever

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 6 years ago

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The shows that have made it this season will be getting their tags...soon. Because I fell behind early in the season, trying to read ahead is nastier than it really should be...

Update: I forgot to roll out the tags...! Sorry about that.

One Punch Man 2 1

This season’s name…sounds counterintuitive, to say the least.

I love how Genos is carrying a box of hijiki (which looks like hair) and Saitama’s wearing a shirt that says “hair” (in kanji) all over it. It’s funny for a bald man and his “work of modern art”.

I never knew Genos was so blunt. Maybe because the last season was a good 2 – 3 years ago…and was by Madhouse and Shingo Natsume, and so this feels slightly different.

Oh, Sonic…! I didn’t realise how much I missed you! (Not to mention, you look hot with the off-the-shoulder shirt, y’know?)

“Enoki” is a type of mushroom.

Oh, Garou!...Oh wait, there isn’t much more of the episode left, is there…?

Afterlost 1

Oh great…this is the second time the subs don’t work on my device of choice. Then again, it seems to be a problem with the ad blocker and not the video…Okay, fiddling with the ad blocker worked.

Let’s play Spot the Main Character Amongst All the CGI Guys! Yay! (obviously sarcastic)

Without the volume…this OP is, to not put it lightly, s***.

Shoumetsu means “extinction”, not “lost”.

And the reward for Jankiest CGI this season belongs to…

Okay…this is stupid…if it f**ks up even more, I’m out of here!

I know the horned owl is your mascot, but that doesn’t mean you needed a real owl.

Waittttttttt…how did the scientists know Yuki’s father was responsible for this stuff anyway?

I feel like Takuya was shoehorned in. I mean, there’s a better example of this character type in Naofumi (Shield Hero).

This guy’s name, as we know it, is Geek. Wow (sarcastic). Also, I find it funny Takuya has a “ta” on his licence plate.

“…she’s just a package.” - Welp, you don’t get any more blatant than that for female denigration! I think Anime Feminist had a field day with this one.

Come to think of it, I saw some helmets back at Geek’s place but Takuya never seems to use one…

You had one job, Takuya…*sigh*

I swear I said a few previews ago I don’t like 1st person cam…no one ever listens to me, do they???

Not dis shitto agen!

Okay, enough complaining. It seems Yu-no wasn’t bad enough, so they had to produce something like the Chaos Dragon and Seisen Cerberus of old…

RobiHachi 1

It’s Takamatsu being Takamatsu again. Also… I forgot to mention this earlier, but…Taiga Umatani seems to be related to Kurari Umatani (who is credited for Boueibu), so…I wonder if it’s a collective writer’s name for Studio Comet, like Izumi Todo for Toei? The only thing that goes against that is the fact “Kurari” existed during the Diomedea days of Boueibu. Also Isekandar seems to be related to Yamato’s Iscandar (which Takamatsu seems to like, based on the fact he once used Matsumoto metres as a shorthand for being in space). If you don’t understand, Yamato’s endgoal contains a place called Iscandar and that’s by Leiji Matsumoto.

Okayyyyy…what are these rabbit creatures…? But yes, it does smack of Boueibu simply because the episode layout’s the same.

Hmm…? So Robby seems be En (the do-nothing life) in spirit, but Kinshiro in background, but also he runs away from his fortune. “Hmm” indeed.

Oh! That’s what this string of misfortunes reminds me of! The monsters of the day from Boueibu.

Acrymalide.

Hatchi is a Kinshiro in looks but an Atsushi by being a goody-goody.

Hmm…they actually bother to show girls now…apparently Takamatsu went to a boys-only school, which is why his original works focus on dudes (as in, you can pick out when Takamatsu is adapting someone else’s work because it has a heavier focus on girls as supporting characters).

Mechs and spaceships are probably two of the only ways I accept CGI…and you, Takamatsu sir, have just done it (the latter)!

Aw! Lookit his (Hatchi’s) face light up like a Beppu’s! It’s cute!

Hatchi getting out the hatch…lame, but still somewhat effectve on me (because that’s my wordplay game you’re playing, Takamatsu…!).

LOL, it’s a transforming mech. It seems my words from a few comments earlier were basically foretelling the future.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 2

Yikes, “Sakonji Urokodaki” has a lot of strokes…

My Little Sister Lives For Headpats…hey wait, don’t all anime kid sisters do that(?)

For some reason, I know the “Don’t Lose Your Way” meme from Kill la Kill and yet I’ve never…watched KlK…?(!)

I swore that was Giyu (it’s the haircut, I swear), but it’s a random demon…

When all you have is a hatchet…use your head. (LOL)

Ooh, nice eyecatch!

This is really black comedy, in a sense. (I remember this demon fight from the manga which is why I say that.)

Hmm…this wispy stuff wasn’t in the manga.

Come to think of it, I don’t know how Tanjiro got his scar…

If you squint really hard, you can see CGI Urokodaki and Tanjiro…

He probably has no footsteps because of his shoes. Or the fact he’s a ninja. Were there ninja in the Taisho era…? Update: Tanjiro has the same kind of shoes…oops.

Come to think of it, Daisuke from DN Angel had to dodge traps every day before he became Dark…(thinking of this because I reread the first volume of DN Angel recently)

Oh! Manga panel preview! That’s quite fun, really.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 3

I just really like how Tanjiro’s eyes grew larger with what was clearly resolution before he closed the door.

Why do the non-descript hunters look like Giyu too…?

I’ve never seen KnY so comedic…and that’s coming from someone who thought the Head Demon fight from last episode was funny.

Welp, this is…kinda interesting (<- says a fan of Touken Ranbu).

This letter writing…it reminds me of Kekkai Sensen somewhat.

This realistic water…it’s beautiful, but it looks like it came straight out of Niagara Falls. Is that…too realistic for anime?

“No matter…”

It’s a fox version of Speed of Sound Sonic! Then again, the real Sonic is around this season and probably won’t be happy about that comparison…

Is “that guy”…Giyu? Or the demon who slaughtered Tanjiro’s family?

Spider lilies! I didn’t mention it last time, but the symbolism of the spider lily makes the ED real cool.

Bungou Stray Dogs 26

I’v read the wiki page for Chuuya enough to know the next few eps involve the LN Fifteen, so even though I haven’t read a translation of the source material, I know some of the ins and outs of it already.

Ooh! Kitty! (If you’re a manga reader, you’ll know the cat’s significance.)

I think at this point in time, all viewers are used to Dazai’s bulls*** by now.

Is it just me…or did Bones use CGI for the city? It actually looks kind of good…! Sasuga Bones!

I have a fic that predates Fifteen and could be set in the same period (the fic’s vague enough that it could’ve been them at 15, 18 or even 12)…and basically the only thing I got wrong was the fact Chuuya doesn’t have his hat (because I wrote Chuuya as having his hat in the fic). Also, the banter is tenser than I imagined it, but that’s subjective and something only I, the fic writer, can compare.

I wonder who the yellow-tinted Ability holder is…? Update: That’s Randou. Spoke too soon.

There was a box in the subs…I wonder what symbol that might’ve been.

“…closest to the explosion.”

BSD 3 2

Oh, so that’s what Randou was for! I see now.

Chuuya may be OP, but he’s one heck of a fun character…also, he’s not as OP as Saitama, so…yeah.

Oh, the ED from last time is the OP. I should’ve known.

I like the almost storybook-style of this episode!

I thought Dazai was faking releasing the hostages…I was wrong.

Face-stealing aliens return! (They were around last ep too, I think, but they were harder to see then.)

Again, watch for the cat!

Well, with only one suspect (or 3, if you count the Sheep kids), it was quite easy to figure out one of them was behind it. I kind of suspected Randou, anyway, considering what I’ve learnt from all the mysteries I’ve read.

Because I was watching this episode with the volume down low (so I could hear the OP and ED), the volume really did work wonders for the plot this ep…!

King of Prism – Shiny 7 Stars 1

This is the final debut of the season, so basically how this and Shield Hero perform will decide what will stay and what will go. Oh, yeah…apparently this is the companion to a movie, but the movie and TV series have slightly different content.

This dude’s (the one at the very start’s) so grumpy.

…welp, I didn’t expect it to be that much CGI.

This chunk of exposition…makes me feel like I missed something. It was probably in the previous movies, come to think of it…

Basically, this is…uh, Makura no Danshi or Room Mate all over again??? I’m noping out of here…! Bye!

Shield Hero 14

I’m putting this on the chopping block…just so you know.

…uh, age gap romance? It’s hard to tell at this stage, but they (Filo and Melty) sure act like it is romance.

Welp, this survived the chopping block. “Raphtalia backstory” is a good enough reason to stick around for, isn’t it?

Double Decker! EX 3 (FINAL)

I always miss the OP when I’m not watching Double Decker, but I miss the ED even more…

I can’t believe they tried to get away with a Spirited Away parody…!

I can’t believe I get to see Dr Apple all buttered up like this…

I love how Kirill is censoring himself. (At least he can prove he’s not a girl, unlike Valery/Milla, whose entire shtick is the confusion between genders.)

Oh! I think I know the answer to the case already! It was Kirill’s soap, so Doug is the “killer”. But then…why is it Derick, of all people???

LOL, the angles were so reminiscent of Detective Conan…

Underwear-stealing sextuplets…? Why does that kind of sound like Osomatsu-san…?

Ahh…I really am going to miss this ED. See you next time!

Shield Hero 15

I never thought Raphtalia would be so angry…that’s Naofumi’s job.

Okay…it’s the age-old question: do demis listen with their animal ears or their human ears? Do they even have human ears??? (That’s 2 questions, isn’t it…?)

Uh…CGI dinosaur, much?

Shield Hero 16

…and of course, the Queen is a loli. Of course (<-sarcastic).

“Why’d I even have to feed this KFC farm?” – LOL, but I wonder what it sounded like in Japanese…? (i.e. I didn’t listen to it and when I try to do that, there’s always something over the top of it…)

Sarazanmai 2

I wonder if I’ll ever get used to watching Ikuhara on a weekly basis…?

Kappamaki…geddit?

Wait…y’mean, Keppi’s breath smells like cucumbers? Uh…okay, TMI.

Enta’s Japanese house kind of looks like the one in Mawaru Penguindrum.

Wait…why does the Japanese word for “Fish Buffet” (Osakanazanmai) end in –zanmai? Does that mean Sarazanmai is…Dish Buffet?! (LOL)

Notably, one of the signs said “Union” in katakana. It must be an English play on words…y’know, trade union and union = connecting with each other? I’m surprisingly enjoying myself a lot with Sarazanmai, by the way. I didn’t think I would, but I am!

I think that might be Irohassu water. Or Dasani. I saw both those brands in Japan, but I don’t remember which had the green flowers.

Oh…my goodness! Nekoyama (Cat Mountain) Mokichi (written with kanji for “hair” and “luck”). It’s a Boueibu monster! Frick, I’m laughing too hard!

It’s very small and very thin, but the word next to the cat in the eyecatch is neko.

“…Meow God!” – It’s a pun on “Oh, My God!” but with a “meow” in it. It’s pretty forced, but it does get the nuance of the joke across…

Why the heck did the subbers choose “herb” as the word for weed in this? “Weed” is sufficient, right? Right…?

Well…if that spurt of water wasn’t symbolic…I don’t know what is.

The title translates better as “…but I want to steal”. Y’know, add a little force into it.

The two As and the “sara” below it seem to make a zombie face, huh?

Ooh, that ending…

#simulcast commentary #one punch man #sarazanmai #tate no yuusha no nariagari #Chesarka watches Tate no Yuusha no Nariagari #the rising of the shield hero #RobiHachi #double decker #bungou stray dogs #King of prism - shiny seven stars #Kimetsu no Yaiba #shoumetsu toshi #afterlost #Double Decker! Doug and Kirill #Demon Slayer #Chesarka watches KnY #Chesarka watches OPM #chesarka watches bsd #Chesarka watches Sarazanmai

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taexual · 7 years ago

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EXO / Their S/O’s best friend is a BTS member

Request: umm what about exos reaction (as your bf) to one of the bts members being your best friend (as in the you go to for everything instead of them) btw I love both exo and bts very much. I just wanted to see how you would write it (: Thank you

Thank you for requesting this! Hope you enjoy 💕

Xiumin

You had just found out you got into the university of your choice and you were ecstatic. Quickly, you got your phone out of your pocket and after nearly dropping it twice, dialed your best friends number.

“Hello?” Seokjin’s voice picked up on the first ring.

“Jin, you’ll never believe it!” you exclaimed. “I got in! I got offered a place at the—”

“You got in?!” came your boyfriend’s voice from the other room. He didn’t hear you address the person on the phone as he walked into the kitchen with a big smile.

“I—yeah, babe,” you smiled at Minseok quickly and then moved the phone from your ear to show him that you were on the phone. “I’ll talk to you in a moment, okay?”

“Oh,” Minseok nodded, his stomach sinking at the realization that he wasn't the first one you told the exciting news to. “Sure, yeah.”

You turned away from him and got back to your conversation with Jin. Both of you squealed in joy for at least ten minutes, and once you finally hung up the phone, you went to find your boyfriend.

Minseok was lying on his bed, his phone in his hands. He didn’t even raise his head when you walked in.

“I got off the phone,” you said, extending the acceptance letter for him to see.

“Oh, good,” Minseok said simply. “Congratulations, by the way.”

“Thank you,” you said a little confused by his coldness. “Is everything okay?”

He sighed and locked his phone before finally looking up at you. “I’m never the first person you tell anything to.”

You blinked a few times, taken aback by the sudden confession.

“What?” you said, still trying to understand what he just said. “Minseok, I tell you everything.”

“Right. But first, you tell Seokjin everything,” he countered. “And then you come find me.”

“That’s not—” you started but quickly realized that his words might have really made sense. “Does that really upset you?”

“Well, of course,” Minseok said. “You’re my girlfriend, my best friend, and my go-to person. It just kind of sucks to know that I’m not the same for you.”

You bit your lip, feeling your own heart start to hurt at the sight of him being so upset.

“I’m sorry,” you said, then. “But you are the most important person to me, though.”

“Oh, am I now?”

“Yes,” you smiled, a teasing glint in your eyes. “Let me prove it to you.”

Before he could reply, you leaned in closer to him and placed a soft kiss on his lips, moving away before the kiss could go anywhere.

“Am I forgiven?” you asked with a small smirk.

“Oh, you wish,” he replied, “You’ll have to do better than that,” and he pulled your hand closer, forcing you to fall onto the bed next to him, so he could kiss you properly.

Suho

When he heard the door of the apartment open, he jumped up from where he was sitting on the couch in the living room and ran across the whole apartment to tackle you in a hug.

“Junmye—”

“Don’t ever leave me alone for this long again,” he told you, not releasing you from his arms. “I don’t even remember where you went but it’s been too long.”

“I’ve only been gone for two hours,” you said through laughter.

“Yeah, but you told me you’d be gone for twenty minutes,” he said, removing himself from you and finally letting you breathe.

“Yeah, I thought so, but then Hoseok pulled out his phone to show me some pictures from—”

“Hold on,” Junmyeon stopped you, his face no longer excited. “You’ve been out to see Hoseok? Again?”

His tone sounded accusing, so your face fell a little. “Well, yeah.”

“Y/n, you’ve spent more time with him this week than with me,” he said, crossing his arms.

“Junmyeon, we live together. I think I spend quite a lot of time with you.”

“You don’t sound too happy about that.”

You had to laugh at the absurdity of his accusations. “Don’t be ridiculous. I love living with you. And Hoseok is my friend, you know that.”

“Feels like he’s more than a friend.”

“You’re right,” you said, watching his face twist in shock. “He’s one of my closest friends.”

“Okay, nice way to give me a heart attack,” Junmyeon commented sarcastically and turned to walk away from you.

“Hey!” you called after him, concerned suddenly. “Are you actually mad at me?”

“Not sure yet,” he replied, walking towards his bedroom.

“Oh, come on! I’ll cook you dinner to make you feel better, how does that sound?”

“Meh.”

“Okay. I’ll cook you dinner and give you all of my undivided attention.”

Junmyeon suddenly stopped and turned around to look at you. “Now that sounds better.”

Lay

Yixing wasn’t very jealous of your friendship with BTS’ Namjoon but he wasn’t a big fan of it, either. He wasn’t a fan of any guy who was close to you, so it was no surprise.

He never caused a scene whenever you told him you’d be hanging out with Namjoon because he trusted you, but he was still slightly upset that he wasn’t the only guy in your life.

The only time Yixing actually saw you hang out with Namjoon, though, was during Junmyeon’s birthday party. At first, he was just standing next to you while you and Namjoon discussed something that caused Yixing unexplainable boredom. He excused himself to get a drink and found himself listening to one of Chen’s jokes for at least fifteen minutes. When he made his way back to you, you were still talking to Namjoon.

Overwhelmed by the sudden irrational jealousy, he made his way towards you and hugged you from behind, resting his head on your shoulder, and startling you in the process.

“Yixing, you scared me,” you said, trying to recover.

“Sorry,” he said, shamelessly kissing your shoulder. “I just missed you.”

Namjoon cleared his throat, causing Yixing to raise his head with a small smirk.

“I’m going to go mingle,” Namjoon said, awkwardly walking away.

You turned around to face your boyfriend with a surprised expression on your face.

“What’s gotten into you?” you asked, not used to his public displays of affection.

“Nothing,” Yixing shrugged innocently. “You’ve been talking to Namjoon the whole night. I thought you could use the distraction.”

“If by ‘whole night’ you mean twenty minutes, then I agree,” you told him. “And I’m going to assume you’re the distraction?”

“Twenty minutes feels like an eternity when you’re away from me,” he said. “And not just away, but also with some other guy.”

“He’s my best friend, Yixing.”

“And I’m your boyfriend.”

You sighed. “Sometimes I question why.”

He faked offense but quickly recovered and smirked instead. Then, he leaned in closer to you so he could whisper in your ear, “I’ll show you why when we’re home.”

Baekhyun

You and Baekhyun were having dinner in your kitchen. He had just finished telling you about practice today and asked you how your day went.

“I had a fairly decent day, actually,” you admitted. “Like, remember the book I told you about yesterday?”

Baekhyun frowned. “No, actually. You didn’t tell me about any books.”

“What? But I did! Like, the main character goes to—oh, wait. Maybe you’re right, I think I told Yoongi about it.”

Baekyun stopped chewing and raised his eyes from his plate to meet yours.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.

“Sorry, I thought I did,” you said. “Anyway, I—”

“You used to tell me about the books that you read,” Baekhyun interrupted you, still hung up on the same thing.

“I still do that,” you replied.

“No, not anymore,” he shook his head. “Actually, you stopped telling me about the small things from your day altogether. Do you talk to Yoongi about it?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, not catching the jealous tone in his voice. “I talk to Yoongi about a lot of things.”

Baekhyun’s face transformed completely and the jealousy could not be missed anymore.

“So,” he said in a sarcastic tone. “What else do you do with Yoongi?”

“Oh my God, Baekhyun,” you covered your face with your hands. “Please don’t tell me you’re actually jealous of my best friend right now.”

“I’m your best friend. How many other best friends do you need?”

“Please tell me you’re not serious.”

“Why would I not be? You just told me you tell him more stuff than you tell me,” Baekhyun said bitterly.

You removed your hands from your face to look at him in astonishment. “Baekhyun, seriously. Would you still be saying the same thing if my best friend was a girl?”

He thought about it for a moment. “Actually, yeah. I think I would.”

“So, you don’t want me to have any friends, then?”

He sighed. “No. You can have as many friends as you want. I just want to know all about the little things that happened to you every day. I think as your boyfriend, I deserve to be the first person you tell them to.”

Chen

You were sitting on the couch with Jongdae, having a peaceful night in. A movie was playing in the background but both of you were on your phones. Jongdae was texting the other members about the song lyrics he had just come up with, and you were talking to Jimin.

Eventually, like true best friends do, you and Jimin got into an argument about who had more memes saved on their phone. So, consequently, you began sending each other memes and other funny stuff back and forth. Every time you laughed at something he sent you, Jongdae raised his head to look at you but he didn’t say anything.

And then finally, once you burst out laughing so loud that he almost dropped his phone, he dared to ask you what was going on.

“Oh, Jimin and I are sending each other funny pictures,” you told him once you managed to calm down.

“Huh. So, uh, is that him you’ve been texting this entire time?”

You nodded, trying not to start laughing at another picture Jimin sent you.

Biting his lip, Jongdae considered what the appropriate way to approach this situation would be. He knew getting jealous over this would be stupid and yet he couldn’t help but feel unhappy that someone else was making you laugh this much.

“Can you show them to me?” he asked after he finally came up with a way to transfer your attention from Jimin to him.

“Show you what?” you said, too occupied with your phone to pay attention to the conversation you were having in real life.

“The funny pictures you mentioned?” Jongdae said. “I want to laugh, too.”

You perked up instantly. “Of course! Hold on for just a moment, though. I have to save all of them to my phone.”

Jongdae nodded, secretly smirking to himself for finding a way to win you back although you never actually stopped being his.

Chanyeol

Chanyeol literally never minded your and Seokjin’s friendship. If the three of you happened to be in the same place at the same time, he didn’t go out of his way to mark his territory and let Seokjin know that you’re taken, because he knew he could trust you, and he knew Jin wouldn’t dare to make a move on you anyway.

The only times he got a little insecure was when tabloid magazines published articles about you two-timing him with a member of his “rival band”. He knew the article was stupid and childish but somehow he still cared about what the public thought about this.

One time, you caught him reading one of those articles and immediately confronted him.

“I can’t believe you’re actually reading that garbage,” you said.

Chanyeol hadn’t heard you walk in, so he flinched (which he seemed to do at least five times a day. You either walked very quietly or he was just off guard all of the time) but then turned around to look at you.

“I was just wondering what people were saying,” he explained.

“Why do you even care?” you asked, suddenly a little concerned.

“Well, they’re saying that you’re actually closer to Jin than you are to me. And I mean, since I’m on tour half of the time, it kind of makes sense…”

“What?” you frowned, walking closer to him so you could take a better look at the article he was reading. “You know that’s bullshit, right? Jin’s on tour pretty often, too, and you’re my boyfriend. And – might I remind you – you have been in this position for the past three years, so I don’t think there even exists a person that I’d be closer to than you.”

He smiled softly. “Okay. Thank you.”

“Why are you thanking me?”

“You have so many people you’re friends with that sometimes I just need to hear that you love me the most.”

You laughed. “I didn’t actually mention I loved you the most, though.”

His smile disappeared suddenly. “But you do, right?”

“Of course, Chanyeol,” you reassured him. “You have no competition.”

D.O.

You and Kyungsoo have been in a long distance relationship for almost two years now. Both of you often flew to see each other and it was definitely worth it, but still difficult nevertheless.

You were always interested in South Korea, though, and even expressed your wish to move here someday but you wanted to finish school first. The wait didn’t stop you from spending every holiday from school in Seoul, though. You made more friends there than you had back home – and that was another good reason to move there permanently.

Which is why, two months after your graduation, you found yourself on the phone with Jungkook, one of your best friends, announcing your decision to move to Seoul.

After an hour-long conversation, you headed to your bedroom to start looking for the plane tickets. You were really anxious about not having told the news to Kyungsoo, though. You wanted to surprise him by just showing up on his doorstep, which is why you haven’t called him yet.

However, your plan backfired, when ten minutes after booking the tickets, your phone started to ring, indicating that it was Kyungsoo calling you.

“Hey,” you answered the call, trying to hide your excitement.

“I have a question,” Kyungsoo said, not sounding very happy. “How long have we been together?”

You were surprised by this. “Uhh… almost two years? Why are you—”

“Right, so, almost two years of dating, and somehow I’m the last person you tell about the important decisions you make in your life,” he said angrily.

Your stomach sunk. “Wh-what are you talking about?”

“You’re moving to Seoul,” he said, forcing you to breathe in sharply. “And I found out from Jungkook. Jungkook! I’m not even that close to him!”

Have you forgotten to warn Jungkook that your plan of moving included you surprising Kyungsoo? Most likely, yes.

“I’m sorry,” you said softly. “I didn’t mean to keep you in the dark like that.”

“Is there anything else you told your best friend but not your boyfriend?” he asked, making the word ‘best friend’ sound somehow threatening.

“N-no,” you answered.”Look, Kyungsoo, I really am sorry you’re upset. But there’s a reason why I told Jungkook and not you.”

“Oh, there’s a reason?” he said, laughing humorlessly. “Do I want to hear it?”

“Yes,” you said calmly. “I wanted to surprise you. I wanted you to come home from practice and just find me there, ready to spend the rest of my life in a foreign city with the person I love most of all.”

Kyungsoo wasn’t expecting that, so he stayed quiet for a few moments.

“I-I love you, too,” he finally said, still taken aback by your confession.

“Good,” you told him. “Because for a moment there it seemed like you hated me.”

“I’m sorry, I just… I didn’t enjoy the fact that you told this important thing to Jungkook, instead of me,” Kyungsoo admitted. “Please don’t do that again, okay? I want to be the first person to know everything about you.”

Kai

You were backstage at an award show, waiting for your boyfriend to come offstage after his performance.

“Power is probably my favorite EXO song,” someone said suddenly, startling you.

When you turned around, you were greeted by your best friend’s face. Same best friend that you haven’t seen in forever due to him being on tour.

“Taehyung!” you exclaimed as he laughed before wrapping his arms around you. “I didn’t realize you’d be performing tonight, too!”

“I’m not. We’re presenting an award,” he explained. “Actually, I was just about to text you to see if you wanted to hang out after the ceremony.”

“Oh, Jongin’s taking me to the after-party at the dorm,” you said sadly. “But we could hang out some other time?”

“Okay. Text me when you’re free,” Taehyung said, not losing his smile. “It’s great running into you here. I missed you a lot!”

“I missed you too,” you answered.

Both of you laughed as he extended his hands to pull you in for another hug that was well-needed after having not seen each other in so long.

Someone cleared their throat, interrupting you, and you unattached yourself from Taehyung to see your boyfriend standing right behind you, having just walked off the stage.

“Hey!” you exclaimed. “Your performance was incredible as always, love.”

Jongin just nodded, but he wasn’t looking at you, and instead watched Taehyung, who stood next to you, still smiling.

“I ran into Taehyung backstage,” you started to explain. “Last time we saw each other was probably two or three months ago.”

“Ah. Fun,” Jongin replied dryly.

You frowned a little at this, but Taehyung – always the social butterfly – jumped into the conversation.

“Loved your performance. The concept for the MV was sick, too,” he said.

“Thank you,” Jongin replied quickly. “Y/n, are you ready to go?”

“Yeah,” you said, not even questioning where he wanted to go because his eyes were burning lasers into Taehyung’s forehead. You still turned to look at your best friend for a quick word. “I’ll see you, yeah?”

“Yes, of course!” Taehyung nodded enthusiastically and then turned to Jongin. “Great seeing you here!”

“You too,” Jongin nodded and placed a hand on your waist to lead you further away from the crowd, or perhaps more specifically, from Taehyung.

Once you two reached an empty hallway, he stopped suddenly. You stopped too, looking at him with a confused expression.

“Is everything okay?” you asked.

“Does he know I’m your boyfriend?” Jongin asked out of the blue.

“Does who know?” you frowned in confusion. “Taehyung? Of course, he knows. He’s basically my best friend, he knows everything.

“Oh,” Jongin looked down. “Well, it sure didn’t look like he knew you had a boyfriend.”

Realizing what he was getting at, you groaned. “Don’t do this. We hugged because we haven’t seen each other in a long time.”

“We don’t hug like that,” Jongin said. “And we’re dating.”

“That’s because we’re together 24/7, Jongin,” you told him. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way. In fact, I think I would handcuff myself to you if you dared to spend three full months without seeing me at least once.”

A small smile finally appeared on his lips and he nodded, letting you know that this was exactly what he wanted to hear to feel better.

Sehun

You and Sehun were at a party of one of your mutual friend’s. At first, you really didn’t want to go because you weren’t a big fan of drunk people but then you found out that Jungkook would be there, and you haven’t seen him in so long, that you felt like you had no choice but to go. Obviously, Sehun wasn’t happy that Jungkook managed to convince you to come to the party in basically seconds, while he’s been trying to get you to come with him for almost a week.

Once at the party, however, you managed to down a few drinks and spent the entire time sitting at the back of the room, reconnecting with Jungkook. He told you about the tour that he’s been on and you told him about everything he missed back in Seoul.

Hours later, when you and Sehun were in a car back home after the party, you realized that he barely said a word to you since you left the house together at the beginning of the night.

“Hey, are you okay?” you asked him.

He looked at you, and although it was dark, you could still see anger in his eyes.

“Not really,” he said.

“Why? What’s wrong?” you asked in a concerned voice.

“I’m feeling kind of neglected,” he admitted. “And hurt.”

You didn’t expect to hear that. “Why?”

“I think it’s obvious why.”

“Not to me, apparently,” you replied.

“Y/n, I arrived to the party with you but I lost you in the crowd of people almost as soon as we came in,” Sehun said. “I tried to find you and when I did, you were talking to Jungkook, so I didn’t want to interrupt anything. But two hours later, you were still talking to him.”

You swallowed, suddenly understanding why he felt neglected.

“I haven’t seen him in so long,” you tried to explain. “We had so much stuff to talk about.”

“I understand that,” he nodded. “But people kept asking me where you were, and I had to awkwardly point to you and say that there you were – talking to another guy.”

“H-he’s my best friend,” you said. “You know that.”

“I do,” Sehun said. “And if you think that makes it hurt less when you leave me all by myself at a party, then you’re wrong.”

Your chest was heavy with guilt. “I’m sorry, Sehun. I didn’t realize you felt this way. You should have come and joined us.”

“I didn’t want to interrupt. You looked like you were discussing something very passionately. For four hours.”

“Come on, Sehun,” you said, touching his arm in a comforting manner, “You know I never consider your appearance in my visual field as an interruption. Although I have to say, you are distracting, especially when you’re wearing a suit. But anyway,” you stopped for a moment when you saw that you managed to make him smile. “I don’t want you to feel hurt about this. And if you ever feel neglected, just come and tell me.”

“And whine in front of other people?” he raised his eyebrows.

“Well, you have no problem whining in private,” you teased.

He shook his head at this, smiling nevertheless.

“I love you,” you told him. “And I’m sorry I made you upset today.”

He leaned closer to you to softly kiss your cheek. “I love you more.”

credits go to the original owners of the gifs!

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saramdeuli · 7 years ago

Text

Nettled Willow Pt.3

Yes, I changed Nette’s love interest from Hal to Jason. I was just in the mood for Jaybirb but I still love my Halogen light. (And Jason fits more easily into the storyline). Also, this is a little different from what I’ve put out before. Hope y'all find it okay, next chapter is coming soon.

Maia belongs to @speedypan

Trigger Warnings: blood mention and language, sad elements, mature themes, scary stuff.

*mother/mommy

Word Count: 1000+

@batlog @royslittleharper @insideoflit @dc-comics-imagines @dc-imagine-central @schninner @schninner-writes-some-stuff @maruthor @coffee-randomness @the-shadow-of-atlantis

The Nettled Willow had changed. Still situated on the corner of Oake and Fourteenth, the small boutique had blossomed into a bustle of activity and a community staple. People from Gotham and afar came to find cures for what ailed them or buy curios and ‘fake’ potions.

Maia sat at the right counter of the shop, leaning over the only counter not made of glass, a blank expression on her face as she bottled solutions. The shop was unusually quiet for a Thursday afternoon.

The atmosphere was somber.

As she corked the last of 13 bottles, she looked around her shop. The once loud and bright wall across from her where a former friend sat remained empty, dust gathering on the belongings that remained abandoned. She hadn’t gotten around to cleaning it out, still hanging on to the small hope that she’d come back.

Maia had managed on her own, fielding questions about the former partner as she continued to maintain her business, hiring help when she felt she needed it. However, no one had gotten close to Antoinette, the name still left a bitter taste in her mouth when she spoke it.

With a heavy, resounding sigh, she stood up and decided to call it quits for the day. After placing her “In Case Of Emergency…” sign on the shop door, she locked up and headed out to Noonan’s for a drink.

Unlike The Nettled Willow, downtown Gotham was a bustle of activity, almost irritatingly so; every corner she passed pulling her further and further into the chaos.

“Oh sorry,” a voice hurriedly whispered as Maia harshly collided with another body.

Before she realized what had happened the body/being had rolled past her and back into the crowd behind her.

Chills and tingles ran through her body as she processed the quiet stranger passing, elements of them that seemed familiar.

“Move lady! Acting like she owns the street.”

Maia turned her head forward as another person brushed past her, the stranger’s voice more aggressive than the contact.

“You first, dick!”

The sun set as she continued her trek to Noonan’s, run in still on her mind.

She settled on her bar stool, sipping on the glass of Bailey’s Irish Créme that stood in front of her.

“Oh, Nettie.”

Antoinette packed up her life in a box.

Things were starting to get too personal in Roanoke. Her neighbors knew her name and her picture had made it into the local newspaper for the citizen of the month; her wish to remain a ghost was slipping from her fingers.

She thought about Jason first.

Her chest fluttered at the thought of him, the uncanny warmth that was Jason Peter Todd. The low tone of voice that could enchant anyone within listening distance and the scent of cigarettes and spearmint lulling anyone near him into him. It was a wonder how’d she’d stayed so far from him for so long.

She thought about Roy, then she thought about Maia.

Maia was her best friend, the closest friend she had at least. Maia had given her a home and given her a chance at life in Gotham. That is until things fell apart. And when they did, Antoinette left.

It happened at the shop, last summer that seemed like years ago. The boys, Jason and Roy, had just stopped by to liven the, then struggling, shop throwing pillows in an attempt to simultaneously piss off Maia and bring a playful spirit.

Antoinette sat in her usual spot as the other three ran about, eyes trained on the book before her, ignoring playful screams that played out in the background. She played with its aged paper reciting words her eyes did not understand.

“血液魔法.”

This symbol she did recognize, the only characters that made sense, the only grouping that resembled a language rather than scribbles. She ran her fingers over the lettering, raised and written in a color that eerily resembled fresh blood. As she did her thumb caught the edge of the page, drawing her own blood.

“Ow! Dammit.”

Jason turned his head first, “you okay there pipsqueak?”

“Shut up,” Antoinette joked as she examined the cut, alarmed by the amount of blood flowing from the minuscule injury. Her eyes watched as a drop of blood oozed from the injury and fell onto the page that had inflicted it.

“Aw shit!”

Antoinette scrambled in her stool looking for something to remedy the situation.

“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Roy mused as he removed the band-aid he’d brought Antoinette from its paper, “Jason actually died, and look at him. Throwing pillows at my girlfriend, like a fucking eight-year-old.”

Antoinette breathed a laugh and before she knew it, the sun had set, the shop closed for the day, and she was fast asleep.

In the darkness, she could hear screams. Panicked words spoken in a language she found vaguely familiar.

Her eyes open to red, scarlet hues painted on stainless steel walls in large dried patches around her. The sight quickly made her sick to her stomach. The smell of flesh and iron mixed with the smell of strong chemicals that filled the atmosphere.

Her dreamscape guided her as she stood up, vision blurry as she took slow steps, almost floating as she walked. More screams filled her ears as she moved forward, unwillingly exploring the horror that unfolded around her.

It was a lab.

Terror filled her stomach as she turned a fluorescent-lit corridor, laying eyes on a crudely prepared operating table. The patient that laid upon it writhing in terror and pain. Their eyes meeting Antoinette’s for a moment, softening as they laid eyes on her, before widening and motioning for her to run.

“Thâdâd,”(*) the phrase echoed in her mind as she heeded their advice, backing out of the room. She continued to move sluggishly through the nightmare, letting it guide her where it willed.

She found herself standing over another operating table. This one, smaller and higher set. Before her lay a child around six-year-old with a face strikingly like hers. Tubes, the placement of which matching mysterious scars that Antoinette had on her own adult body, stuck out from the girl, pumping in unknown chemicals at alarming rates.

Her gaze shifted from the little being that laid peacefully asleep, to the two lab coat-clad adults that stood at either side of her. Her eyes watered, feeling a lump develop in her throat as she looked at the faces.

“Mom? Dad?”

Antoinette’s body jerked awake.

The dreams continued for weeks, each revealing harrowing details, or rather ghosts of details, that tied into mysteries of Antoinette’s life.

After months of unknowns, she decided to leave, abandoning her life to discover a life she never knew she had lived.

When she returned her entire life had changed. Her parents were not her parents. Her home was never a home. Her life hadn’t even begun on Earth.

She hailed from Maltus, a planet known as home to a, now extinct, race of people renowned for their regenerative abilities, resilience, and teaching of what was regarded as magic.

In the late 1990s, the turn of the century, a scientist known as Kronae launched a mission to investigate the colony and society, to harvest their secrets and bring them to Earth. In the process, they massacred thousands and destabilized the planet. The only survivors: hundreds of kidnapped children cursed to live under his followers and be observed, to see what results yielded from what they had been subjected to as children.

Antoinette and her brother were no exception, biological parents slaughtered and forced to live as captives.

Now she’d come back. Back to the only life she knew was not a lie.

#aqw #antoinette quinn ward #antoinette q ward #my oc #oc #oc things #the nettled willow

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astrofireworks · 7 years ago

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cha eunwoo | astro

An introduction to Astro, lights of our lives, for new Arohas!

(done with @rockoaroundthechristmastree, @rockytheastroid, @astrofireworks, @jinwoosmile, @ongbins and @jakganim)

masterlist

Born 30 March 1997

Gunpo child

How to recognise Eunwoo: look for a literal angel there you go there he is

Literally looks the same in all his eras bc he looks good with dark hair and fantagio Knows it

^ At time of writing anyway; he just came out with light brown hair for dream pt. 02′s jacket and everyone is fucKIN SHOOKT

Fuckin unreal smdh

Baby: light blue car

Visual 3/6

@jakganim (in a fic LOL but it was FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY PUNY LIL HEART) said once that Eunwoo’s as beautiful outside as he is on the inside and honestly i’ve never heard a sentence that describes eunwoo so perfectly

in short, a heart as radiant and beautiful as he appears????

Researches everything bc he’s a diligent and worried bub

Whatever shows he goes on???? He researches them

researched every single person going on law of the jungle and also researched what the climate was going to be like and how to build different things

researched the MCs he was going on with when he went on Happy Together 3 and got exposed they read his unfiltered notes out loud in detail he got so shy ajsdfhlaskjd

researched everyone in crime scene 3 because he didn’t want to make a fool of himself

got so nervous about variety show training programme bc they didn’t let him know who was going to be on the show with him so he couldn’t research them

puts so much effort into things what the fuck !

Real Name: Lee Dong Min

Nickname: Buttmin (Lee Dongmin: 이동민) where second letter 동 sounds similar to the second letter in butt (엉덩이) because he thought he had a big butt asjdhlfakjsd

he can spell his name with his butt thanks variety show training

Actor

Was MJ in The Best Hit/Hit the Top (and the members made jokes about it)

had a thing with the members where they’d call him Fake MJ

Starred in their webdrama To Be Continued as the “lead” but not really (cries forever)

Was part of a miniseries called “Replies that Make us Flutter” where they took send-in answers for topics and incorporated them into short drama episodes.

Bin starred in one with him as well. He tried to be a bad boy that hated Eunwoo. It was not convincing.

Won Male CF Star at the MTN Broadcast CF Festival

He’s currently in Revenge Note as the “leader” of Astro, it’s weird

#SmartBoi

goes to Sungkyungkwan uni, prestigious uni in SK

was also the top 3rd student in his school AND was student body president in middle school i’m truly weeping

Introduced on a few shows with the hashtag #차파고 (Cha-pha Go, a spin on Alpha Go) because he’s so damn diligent and detailed

Also went on 1 v 100 with bin and mj but he got into the finals/semi-finals WOW WE STAN BRAINS AND BEAUTY

Knows japanese and chinese and is nearly fluent in english bless his heart

Also speaks Chinese because his younger brother studies in China

DONGHWIIIIIIIIIIIII

Cute as fuck during new year’s when the rest of astro were in the fantz celebrating new year’s he went home to visit his brother bc he came back from china so he video called into vapp

I need to stop saying fantz someone shoot me i started ironically and now i can’t stop

Once upon a time was in the jungle with Yuri, apparently picked up aegyo there

Gets made fun of all the time by astro for the aegyo asjdfkhlskjd they make him sing the aegyo song literally every time

And they annoy him by singing it too

Always gets iconic lines / killing parts in songs

내꺼할래 !! (wanna be mine?)

같이 갈래? (let’s go together?)

Iconic line in polaris

Here’s a compilation you didn’t know you needed

Again made fun of by astro for doing the 같이 갈래

That one astro play where he’s just talking and then lil bitches sanha and jinjin pop up behind him and go 같이 갈래!!! and he just looks so done

The centre of all of Astro’s arm symbol formations

Makes sure that you know who he is (bc he’s cHa-A e-EUN Wu-UU *thumps chest*)

This ALSO gets mimicked by the other members, and poor boy tried to chug a soda and do this as well but ended up burping on camera as a result ;v;

Also the stiffest dancer my poor son

Got sent on some programme for idols who can’t dance it was Hilarious

But he also put so much effort into it i’m rly crying he made sure to get help from rocko in dancing the choreography right ;;;;

And he’s improved so much i’m !!!!!! so proud he puts in so much effort and he works so hard and he practices so much fuck i’m emo

Literally ??? is perfect whatever he says his bad sides are are actually good points smdh

Was asked once if there was anything he couldn’t do, to which he replied that he wasn’t good at relationships and the MC replied that wtf it just made him more attractive

farewell i am on the floor crying

oh right okay yes one bad side:

MINIONS

Smdh he loves them so much

The glasses he wore in the cicada video

that one video of them playing with the minion helicopter

that MINION HAT

160108 DDOCA when they’re playing with the minion blanket and jinjin opens it up and promptly looks horrified

What the hell is this

European Bagel: once said he was eating an ‘european bagel’ on ok!ready episode 1 if anyone knows what that means pls let us know

He gets anxious about being a burden to astro

Talked about it in Astro Project watch at your own risk I cried

Listen he does so much he juggles acting and photoshoots for CFs and astro promotions he’s constantly trying to improve himself he’s never a burden and if there's one member in all of astro i want to hug and just !! tell him he's okay and that everything will be okay and tell him that he’s perfect and that he’s enough and deserves love it’d be Eunwoo for me ;;;;;;;;

Also Eunwoo: (sits quietly) / 5stro: let’s fuck with him

was playing with the ducks when jinjin and sanha come up behind him and screamed lmao he nearly fell on his face

A compilation or two… or three of Eunwoo being bothered by the other members lolol

Once Jinjin had to pull a secret camera on him and tell him that Astro accidentally broke a camera and without hesitating he offered to pay the full 1.5k$ that camera was worth adsfjkasd what a pure gullible bean ;A;

ICONIC BASEBALL DDOCA THAT SLAYED ALL THE BINU STANS THERE EVER WERE i’m writing this from the grave

Cutest whine? He goes like aaAAa or something like that idk but he does it when he gets annoyed it’s the cutest thing ;;;;;

Literally the (^▽^) face

Mouth opens up into a really wide triangle, width depends on how embarrassed he gets

My favourite laugh in the entire universe

heck I’m so in love,,,

LOVES KIDS

during one ASC a baby came on and asked all of astro to go to their house to play for christmas eunwoo got out of his seat right away he was 1000% ready to run out of the studio and hop on that airplane

Actually a lil bitch lmao

“Haha u were going 2 sleep?? Nah stay up & watch me on vlive fam”

Makes fun of hyung line’s height i live for this

After arohas missed the “MJ” during the first fanchant he joked saying “why don’t y’all just come in on ‘jinjin’ instead?” #LetMJLive2k17 also #LetArohasLive2k17

Voice like moonlight

Need him singing??? Here

Titles his v-lives “차은우의 Just one 10 minutes” but they’re never 10 minutes they’re nearly an hour long

His voice is just really really soothing and comforting and if you ever need something to calm you down when you’re upset or if you need a background voice for when you’re studying here he is

Singing voice has improved so so so so so so much from Spring Up, his live singing shakes me to the core

Also sang opera in ASC so really hoo boy he’s improved so much I’m so !!! :’)

Literally can we pause and take a moment to appreciate his baby photos I looked like a rat when I was younger and here he is, snatching,

My favourite baby ever ajkdlhsfakjsdf i lovE

Did some modelling campaigns pre-debut

Shara Shara

I bet you needed all these pictures in your life

Cute lotion video :’)

Still king of CFs he recently did a baskin robbins one (with Yoo Seung Ho)

It’s pretty funny

He’s so cute what the heck

After the whole thing, he got addicted to ice cream; he mentioned in a vlive that at some point he could just eat sandwiches and ice cream the whole day

But fantagio also probably feeds all of astro ice cream for breakfast so really,

A Lafuma ad with Seolhyun (AOA)

A Polham ad with Doyeon (Weki Meki)

A Ceci spread with Doyeon too!!

A Lotte Water Park ad with Sejeong (Gugudan)

Won an award for best male CF smdh

Wears frickin glasses and makes everyone cry

That one DDOCA where it’s him preparing for a hit the top shooting I would like you to know that this is coming to you from the grave

Got scouted by a Fantagio recruiter when he was in middle school, then bugged into joining the fantz

He was the school president, in the top three of the entire school, wanted Seoul National University to become a judge bless his fuckin heart

Apparently rejected Fantagio the first couple times they asked, but gave in bless him thank god

Astro claimed pre-debut walking anywhere with him meant everyone doing double-takes

Re-enacted on ok!ready: sanha and mj talking in a coffeeshop then stopping and sTARING THE FUCK OUT OF EUNWOO LMAO

Literally blew up on male-dominated sites for being PRETTIER THAN THE FEMALE MCs AT SHOW!MUCORE

So pretty that Hello Venus thought he was prettier than them when starring in their video

Some weibo arohas describe him as the kind of handsome where “even if you’re already married, you’d still take a second glance at him if you passed by him on the street” ("那种虽然有老公了但是对路过的帅哥还是想多看两眼的感觉") I 10000% agree

weibo arohas also call him "车车" car car / cha cha i'm fuckinjasdfkjdf

In case you wanted a heart attack

Labelled a “Face Genius”, but wants to be acknowledged for more than his looks

“Someone who’s more reliable than anyone else and who always gives his all to the people he treasures, who’s very hard on himself and there are times where it gets too much but because of that, he’s someone who’s detailed and earnest.” (creds to @astrotranslations)

Dony on Weekly Idol called Rowoon (SF9) a face genius once but Rowoon politely deferred and said that title belonged to Cha Eunwoo :’)

Said once in an interview that he’d take whoever he likes out to dinner, give them a necklace then confess asdjfhlaskjd a true romantic bby

Also said that he was an “FM” boyfriend (field manual) asjdhflaksjd my heart is weak don’t attack me like this

You know what, Binu gets a section to themselves smdh

Just so you know, arohas didn’t come up with the name ‘Binu’, they came up with it (”Team Soap”) themselves

explained it by saying 빈 (Bin) + 우 (Woo) = 비누 (Soap)

Roommates!!

Picked each other in OK!Ready and have been living in the same room ever since

in the recent Night Night show they did Eunwoo said that if he could pick roommates again, he’d still pick Bin

Is apparently scentless to Bin

Smdh we all know what habituation is it’s bc he smells Eunwoo too much Eunwoo doesn’t have a specific smell anymore

Also together like 24/7 stuck to each other’s side if you’re looking for eunwoo ever just look for bin you’ll find him there

Bin claims Eunwoo is the most beautiful creature on earth tbh same

“Is he really human? How can someone that looks like him exist?”

Eunwoo thinks Bin is the most handsome too I love supportive friendships ;u;

IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN WAKE BIN UP AMAZING

Literally though sanha and jinjin posted a twitter video of them trying to wake bin up it doesn’t work it apparently only works when eunwoo gets him to wake up

Sleeps through sanha and jinjin prodding him but wakes up when eunwoo starts talking in a vlive

Bin said in the harper’s bazaar interview that he doesn’t wake up when the manager calls him to get up but his eyes naturally open when he hears Eunwoo sighing (creds to @astrotranslations)

Bin’s mom even sent in a concern to hello counsellor bc he wouldn’t stop sleeping and couldn’t wake up so really… eunwoo = magic?

Want more Binu? Here, here and here!

Friends with Mingyu from Seventeen

Mingyu called him once for advice on what to bring to the jungle since he too was going on law of the jungle

Said in Night Night that he gets cold really easily

Yet in OK!Ready (as pointed out by @jinwoostro) he stood outside waiting for Jinjin and Sanha to come even though he was freezing ;u;

A sweetheart!! Who cares so much !!!! for other members!!!!!!

Listen this boy works so hard and he does so much for a 20 year old: he models, he acts, he’s learning 3 other languages for Aroha, he handles university courses AND he still keeps up with astro’s promotions I’m really crying he’s worked so hard he deserves the world

Im rly fukcing criyng i gotta sotp i love this boy,

#astro #astro cha eunwoo #eunwoo #cha eunwoo #lee dongmin #astro eunwoo #dream team #it's here yall this took forever to do lm a o #we started this before the comeback ws announced i believe #heck i scrolled back we started this 7 Oct it's now 22 Nov #im laughing o god #vivi yells into the void

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